#adulthood is hard

[bruhhidontknoww]

I don’t know if this is because of my ADHD or autism or bipolar disorder or what, but I hate how I always get fixated on a career path whenever I get obssessed with something

I’m still in college, going for a degree that I can generally use for my actual career path, but this entire time I’ve been in college I always have secret thoughts that I need to be doing something else

I’m obssessed with a TV show? I need to be a writer for TV

I’m obssessed with a cartoon? I need to write for cartoons or make my own

I’m obsessed with someone who makes documentaries? I need to make a documentary

And I always become fixated on the people who work on these things and I fantasize about meeting and working with them. I have such cringey fantasies I can’t even bring myself to write them down

I keep all of this to myself because it’s really embarrassing and I just can’t bring myself to ever share this. I’m 23 years old, I shouldn’t constantly get urges to start new career paths because when I enjoy something I feel like I just have to be involved in it somehow

[littlelambii]

If there is only 1 piece of advice that you take when you start to rent, please let it be this: your rights and responsibilities as a renter are available on your local government website and landlords will try and screw you over

I've had my fair share of landlords, good, neutral, bad - it's been a ride. It's not always that they'll try screw you out of your deposit but it's so frustrating when it happens

I've had landlords try and deny me knowledge of my deposit amount because they hadn't actually kept it properly in its own account; that specific landlord didn't even know that she was legally required to keep my deposit separate but it should be incurring interest while it's in their hands. My current estate agent sends me my monthly invoice for rent and I can see that my deposit has only grown by 4 or 5 bucks because of the low interest rate, but that's perfectly legal

or tell me that I need to pay for the repainting after I move out; but after a year it's wear and tear, it's not your problem. Regardless of whether you scrub the walls completely spotless, they have to still repaint at their own cost to prep for the next people

or send me back a portion of my deposit, having gone ahead without providing me with optional quotes to make my choice on how my money is spent. Which is totally not okay. I did lose my shit and fought for it but she was a different kind of crazy so, I didn't win that fight

In preparing for my next move, I've been brushing up on the laws so I know what I can be held responsible for during the outgoing inspection

But honestly, I've heard some horror stories about landlords and it's so important to equip yourself with the tools to fight back

** these are south african laws, idk how it works anywhere else

[switchytransboy]

What inspired you to dive so deeply into learning self-love? Just curious :-)

thanks for asking (((:

it’s a mix of things that stem from within me, wanting to feel inner peace and happiness again but as Avery not who i used to be, my relationship transitioning into more of an open/CNM/poly relationship dynamic and that comes with a lot of hard emotions that you have to love yourself enough in order to get through, and just wanting to see my future again bc i stopped being able to picture a lot of it due to the state of the world and my depression.

i just need to find my direction in life again, build positive connections, and learn to love this new version of myself. i lost my purpose and a lot of self-love without realizing it, and i kinda hit a point of rock bottom there so the only way back is up. 🖤

[marbearwrites]

I wanted to tell you

I miss you

I scratched a line through it instead

We're not who we were then

At twenty-one and twenty-three

We're someone else entirely

[25kitkat]

I forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer 🙃

[rovenim]

A Letter to Myself #21

Another 10 March for 21 times! Hello, glad to see you.

Can't believe i'm already 21 years old this year. 21... it's a golden year for me because 21 is the age of late adolescence and early adulthood. I don't really want to leave my teenager energy and ready to face adult *adults are so boring for me, lollll*

But i give thanks to Jesus first because He still given me an opportunity to live in this world, change, enjoy my late teens era and everything. This year, i feel a good energy or good vibes for my birthday unlike last year full of sadness, anger before my birthday. It sucks. I feel like i'm growing up from last year, i've changed to be a good person 1% than last year.

it's not uncommon for me to feel sad because I miss my childhood, my early teens which were full of happiness. but now I make it all as a stress reliever. I can reminisce about those times and make me happy even for a moment. I was also at the lowest point last year where I felt I couldn't fulfill the dream of little Rove. I'm really sorry. But I promise, with Rove growing up having a new dream it will make it come true. You can do it!!

I really felt the maturation process from last year to this year, i can feel it. everything that happened from the good to the bad made me the 'someone' I am today. I'm quite happy with myself now and i feel like i have started to accept both the weaknesses and the strengths in me. But I have to continue to find the best version of myself every year, get to know myself better, reduce the 'people pleaser' and other bad habits that exist in me.

This year I hope I can be more of a person who has a great sense of gratitude. I realize that having gratitude will have a positive impact that is good for me, whether it's physically or spiritually. I'm still learning and will continue to learn endlessly to be a better person.

I hope I can find true happiness, gratitude grows in my heart, spread positive energy to those around me and become a wiser person in dealing with all the things that happen in my life.

Once again, happy birthday. Congratulations on reaching 21 years old, Rove.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small. You never need to carry more than you can hold. And while you're out there getting where you're getting to I hope you know somebody loves you and wants the same things too. Yeah, this my wish.

[thatnerduknow98]

“I’m less of a red flag than I was a year ago. I’m a red flag at half mast.”

Me, discussing how my parental trauma affects my intimate relationships with my significant other.

[inquisitive-me-47]

When I grow up

when I was a young child.i had various dreams I wanted to be a teacher ,pilot ,doctor funnily even an astronaut.

However when I grew, it seemed my dreams were null and void they become some shit I used to belive in when I was a child .

My agemates could ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I didn't have an answer .

In a way I just want to be something that lets me survive . But why ?

Wasn't the world at my feet ? Wasn't the sky the only limit ?or should I live like a hyena always happy eating the leftover.

[postwarlevi]

Adulting is stupid

[hlizr50]

Not enough drama in my day, so...

LOL at Elriels who think that nobody else can use a Tattoo Shop/Flower Shop AU trope because obviously that means, and I quote, "they literally want Elriel without Elain"

LOL at Elriels freaking out over a fanfic titles and tropes used for content that, if they had even a modicum of maturity, they wouldn't even look at because IF ITS NOT YOUR SHIP WHY DO YOU CARE?

LOL at Elriels thinking we're so desperate to copy their titles and tropes, that now I'm DEFINITELY NOT going to compile a list of their fanfic titles to browse... just in case they can be tweaked to match a Gwynriel vibe that I'm trying to achieve.

LOL at the Elriels who will throw a fucking tantrum when I do, because it just proves that I'm the superior troll. They'll be screaming, and I'll just be over here enjoying my work and the work of my incredible friends.

[martyisnotmyname]

Macam mana eh nak jadi orang yang kekal tenang? Tak cepat melenting?

[strategicallyignoringmytodolist]

Some days I really need that part of the storyline where the best friend character shows up just to remind me that I'm loved and valued and that the thing I suck at isn't actually an indication of my failure as a person.

Growing older is being able to be the best friend character for myself in the moments when I'm facing something difficult and backup is nowhere nearby.

[bella-pas]

I KNOW AL IS CANONICALLY ARO/ACE

Let us have this, the fanfic/fanart doesn’t mean we want his character to change in the series !! It is literally fiction based on a character and it’s on our own take of the universe.

Would I change Al’s character in the series? Absolutely not, we know he is how he is and we appreciate it, that’s what makes him… him for lack of better words, but that doesn’t mean I cannot simultaneously like the idea of an alternate universe where I’m a character too and I’m his only exception, let me be delulu

[marbearwrites]

Dear Folks...

I wish you had let me be a child

Instead of expecting me to be an adult

Now I struggle to function

In the "real" world

A thousand steps

Behind everyone else

[thecrazyandtheweird]

Adulthood is realizing that eight out of ten times a media star/creator is actually a really bad person

[rovenim]

A Letter to Myself #22

It's a same date, 10th March but the difference is I'm feeling 22 in this year!

Welcoming myself into twenty-two era isn't easy, recognizing i'm turning twenty-two this year make me realize i'll face another challenge adjusting to my age (i consider it's like a game level) which is everything that happens could be different from previous years. Different levels, different difficulty of heaviness, different settings, and other things that support differences.

:::

What i did in my twenty-one era (that could be a new thing or experience in my life also changed myself in a positive way):

First time experience to create bachelor's degree final project in 6th semester, i called it as "my hectic era ever" because i still had subject classes also i took additional classes. it's really hard to balancing my thesis final project and another subject class final semester projects. ((SHOUT OUT TO MY COLLEGE FRIENDS, U GUYS HELPED ME A LOT!!))

First time i met "thesis defense" in my life (my biggest fear as a college student) my fear is failure and i attracted what i fear, shit happens. But thanks to God i was given the opportunity to improve my thesis. I changed my mindset "don't be afraid, everything will be okay. u'll made it, u know what your weakness is, and this time to change and make it stronger." AND I MADE IT!!

Bukber (buka bersama) events for the first time after the pandemic. Hip hip horaaaaay, i met all of my high school friends. Such a good moment to cherish <3

This year i decided to to collect all Junji Ito's comics (Indonesian ver.)

First time i'm going to Kwangya Store! As a pink blood, i'm lovin it!

Started to bought album after a year i stopped myself to collect album (it's because #DOJAEJUNG debut).

First time using fake nails, AND I'M ADDICTED.

First time trying ramen (re: Hakata Ikkousha) and I REALLY LIKE IT. no, I LOVE IT.

First time trying to make a vlog with a "re-cap" theme, showing an interaction moment with all of my friends.

The first time I went to a job fair and LPDP event with my friends, it was very memorable for me. after me and my friends arrived at the event and saw the many young people there, this sentence immediately came to my mind "welcome to the jungle".

First time going to Project Pop's concert with my friends, and also experiencing the rain during the concert hahahaha, that was very memorable event! a day full of funny moment and plot twist!

First time going to the comfiest and pleasing aesthetic libraries in this town: Perpusda TIM and Erasmus Huis Library.

I made lots of friends from the k-pop community (especially nctzens) that i've been met in concerts and picnic day event. they're so lovely and nice to meet u guys!

As a person who had birth in Jakarta, this is my biggest pride after 21 years. I'm going to Monumen Nasional (Monas) which is Indonesia's capital city icon. But there's a good and there's a bad, the bad thing is i can't make it to the top of the Monas because the limited quota per day. Poor me.

Waiting for a long time to get a new job as a freshgraduate when some of my friends gotten their jobs, and people around me started asking me about when i getting a job. At the same time, i tried to fight my insecurities within myself and continued to apply to all companies and keep praying for good guidance for me. I know God's plan is much better than my plan and after all, i got it at the end of the year!

In 2023, i felt i spend a lot of time to going out-life update with my old friends (who haven't seen each other for a long time). This was very rapid increase from 2022 (i'm a homie person). I went to place that i've never been there before, trying so many foods (mostly popular food #fomo).

When i look back what i've been through in my 21 era, i iknew not all good things only happen to me, but there's bad things too. Life is yin and yang. i never know how happiness feels, if i never experience sadness before, and because happiness and sadness happened to me, i know the things of life called "grateful". Last year i want myself to be more grateful than before, so i tried to be someone who always being grateful and trying to take meaning from the things that happen in my life. because i believe that if something can happen there must be a purpose behind it, and God designed my life not without purpose. Now, i'm still learning to be a grateful peson and tries to maintain it.

For this year, i want to make a change within myself that i really wanted to do a long long time ago. Change what i can change, controlled things what i can control and it started from myself. I only can change and control myself, not people around me or this universe (damn it's crazy).

I'm a people pleaser, one of my friends know i have that weakness. So, she always encourages me to get freakin out from "people pleaser bubble" and that isn't easy for me. It needs more time to awakening my bravery (???), change my mindset about how i treat people and why i need to prioritize myself first.

Start from the second month of 2024, something happened to me so i feel like i need to make a change asap. Thinking 'bout how this thing can be powerful affected to me, i feel like i need some help.

For the first in many years before, i experienced an unpleasant feeling in a room. everything has changed, including me. The longer i feel uncomfortable, i try to find out why and is it wrong for me to feel that way? after asking several people about it, everyone answered the same thing "you don't have to endure everything, say no if you don't like it."

My friend who knew from the start about it said:

"If you feel unhappy or uncomfortable, let it go. if you feel staying away is a good thing for you, do it. you don't have to feel wrong, it's not your fault. be brave. don't be people pleaser again. that's enough."

Because of their responses and suggestions, i choose to take an action to be a brave person this time. Until i posted my letter on Tumblr, i still dealing with this situation (change what i can change). Hopefully i can feel calmer and wiser in choosing which path is good for me, can stop being a people pleaser and can find the true meaning of life as a human being. Don't forget to enjoy your life, Rove.

Good luck,

Rove.