#again anon sorry if you didn’t mean it in a bad way i’m not trying to like yell at u

[steveharrington]

i am surprised you are proud to be from texas but i am glad you like it there

yes i am proud to be from texas and i’m going to get defensive for a second (sorry if you didn’t intend for this to come off negatively but this is the second ask i’ve gotten that seems to imply being from texas is like Scornful) texas as a state is not defined by the harmful legislation that we live under or the bigots who happen to live here. this is the only state i’ve ever lived in, therefore it’s the state where i’ve met and lived in a community with diverse groups of people, where i’ve met other lgbt people, where i went to a gay bar for the first time, where i went to a protest for the first time, etc etc etc. i’ve seen the ways people in my community respond to the oppressive legislation we live under, i’ve seen the ways we help each other when our senator fucks off to cancun during a natural disaster or when our cities flood and our most vulnerable citizens are ignored by the government…..is all of that meaningless because we live in the south? because we live under a republican majority? i’m so tiredddd of northerners implying that everyone who lives in a southern state should be grouped in with our bigoted neighbors bc ykw there are bigots in your states too! and we suffer the direct consequences of living in a red state every day! but the true genuine spirit of texas is to be welcoming and friendly and loving to everyone, and i’ve seen that firsthand from at least one person in every town i’ve been to here, no matter how tiny or rural. idk like am i supposed to overlook all the firsthand experiences i’ve had with humanity and compassion and love here just because our government is trying to take it from us? that doesn’t make sense to me.

[r4spb3rr13s]

holds out my hands

greeting my mcbling angel

maybe i pretty please ask for shoto, iida and denki meeting their own mcbling hottie 🙏🙏🙏

- 🍥 anon

pro heroes meeting their mcbling gf

♱ todoroki, iida, kaminari

♱ pt.1 here pt.3 here

notes : ur too cute anon 🥰🥰

Shoto has been stood staring at his options for soba for the past ten minutes. He’s deep in decision, hand on chin, in the middle of the store just before closing.

So deep in thought, he’s completely oblivious to you strutting round the corner to the aisle he stood in.

You’re on your phone, moving by muscle memory. Your favourite noodles are always in the same spot, so your uggs lead you to where the soba is-

But you look up.

Shoto- your favourite pro hero, for reference- is stood like the motherfucking Thinker. In your presence.

You backpedal, but it’s too late- he’s seen you!

Shoto turns you to and his eyes widen. You’re in a neon pink graphic cami, big hoops hiding from beneath (locs/braids/curls/strands) and as his eyes trail down…

His cheeks go as pink as the thong peeking out your pants’ waistband. I mean, Shoto didn’t really have time to register your slack jaw.

There’s so much running through your head at the minute- who wears a black compression shirt to the store? How are his muscles bigger in real life than on billboards? Why does his hair look so soft?

He coughs and it breaks the moment.

“Oh- sorry, can I just-”

“Yeah, I apologise,” He replies. When you lean over to grab your noodles, a waft of sugary, almost sickly, perfume hits his nose. It was intoxicating- not in a bad way.

You’re trying to steady your breathing- he’s just another guy, Y/n, chill! Boys fall left and right for you, just breathe.

Breathe.

“You’re Shoto right?”

Ohmygodidiotidiotofcoursehe’sshotowhaythefuckyo-

“Yes, that’s me.” He smiles slightly, corners of his lips lifting. Every nerve in your body is screaming to swoon - maybe he’d catch your fainting body?

You could look into his gorgeous eyes, and he’d brush the hair from your face-

“Is everything alright?”

You snap out of your daydream and smile awkwardly. “Uh… I’m just a big fan, is all.”

He nods and smiles down at you, softly. You clear your throat and hoist your bag further up your shoulder.

“I like your clothes.”

Your world stops for a minute. How do you breath again? It’s not hard, Y/n, come on-

“Where did you get the inspiration?” He says. Shoto makes no move to leave - you’re not an annoying fan, begging for his autograph.

Plus, you have the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen.

You blink owlishly at him - his heart skips a beat, of course - and you just nod dumbly for a second. Then, it registers that he’s actually interested in you?

“Umm… 2000s stuff, American celebrities mainly. What about you?”

Shoto huffs a chuckle, “I don’t really have style.” He glances at his watch, and his smile morphs into a… pout? It’s subtle, but his brows furrow ever-so-slightly, and his bottom lip just out a little bit.

“Oh God, don’t let me keep you,” You hurry. Good lord, your face is burning up aggressively.

He shakes his head, but bites his lip still looking at his watch. “No, I’m on shift soon… it was nice meeting you…?”

“Oh, Y/n!”

Shoto smiles again, glances at his watch with an internal frustrated groan. He needed more time to talk to you, to understand you, to get to the bottom of the neon pink and leopard print-

Oh, right.

“Could I get your number, Y/n?”

:::

Tenya spent his nights going on walks. Why? Because he liked to meet his neighbours’ dogs… did he know that’s why he liked them, however? No. He just thought walking around gave him immense joy for no reason.

And they call him ‘smart’.

His favourite dogs were the least of worries when he walked past the park and heard shouting.

Tenya’s head snapped to, and he was marching through the park gates.

You, a grown woman, were stood on a table, wafting away… chihuahuas. You, in a tiny denim skirt and a babydoll top, were using your small purse to shoo away a trio of stray chihuahuas.

In all fairness, Tenya disliked chihuahuas the most of all the dogs he’d met, but he’s never seen someone in platform sneakers clamber onto a picnic bench to get away from them. Or scream at the top of their lungs at the tiny puppies.

He could not help but let out a laugh at the sight, making you look up at him. You straightened up a bit and stopped screaming, but still sounded shaky.

“You’re that hero right?”

“My name is Ingenium, yes,” he replied. One of the rat-dogs had turned to growl at him now, but Tenya paid no mind to it.

You pointed at the dogs. “Could you… y’know, be a hero and save me?”

He raised a brow without meaning to. He shouldn’t be judging you for your fears - he’s a hero! Here to help everyone!

But still… three tiny dogs?

He sighed and nodded. Suddenly, all three dogs were in his arms, and being carried towards the kid’s sandbox. He paid no mind to them nipping and jumping up- not like they could escape his large forearms.

Large firearms that you were looking at with much interest…

He returned, ignoring the yapping puppies trying to escape the gates, but not being tall enough to get out. “I’ll call animal control, Miss…”

“Oh, just call me Y/n. What should I call you?” You asked, taking his hand and stepping down.

Tenya tried to ignore how small your hand was in his, or how your skirt hitched up your thighs when you stepped down. Instead, he helped you stand upright on your wobbly legs, and pushed down his blush when you thanked him.

“Iida. Tenya Iida.”

You looked him up and down. Tenya Iida was tall, broader than a fridge and had glasses you desperately wanted to push up his nose for him.

“Well, Tenya Iida… can I take you out for a drink to thank you?”

Tenya froze and he couldn’t stop the red that stretched across his face at your question. But he nodded. But it was so unprofessional! A true hero would never use a victim’s position to their advantage, the power imbalance was-

“I’ll need your number then!” You sang out.

Tenya’s internal protests were lost as he passed you his phone, and you type in your digits with your long, zebra print nails.

:::

Now, Denki has met a few of Mina’s friends. They were all… nice. He flirted casually, maybe exchanging numbers with them, but they never ended up getting a call.

So when Mina announced she was bringing ‘fresh meat’ to their group’s monthly reunion, he didn’t really prepare himself for much.

Then, you walked in.

All giggles, sparkly black eyeshadow and lipgloss. Mina was whispering in your ear before strutting you through the doorway, but Denki was more focused on your shiny lips curling up into a grin.

A black tube top held you in, pink bikini straps wrapping around the back of your neck. His eyes travelled down- shamelessly, might I add- to the leggings hugging your curves. ‘PINK’ written on your ass caught his attention like a siren, and your matching hot pink toes from your sandals didn’t help either.

“This is Y/n!”

Katsuki and Eijiro barely looked up, immersed in an aggressive game of … cards, or something - Denki was not paying attention to them. He was, however, paying keen attention to the once-over Hanta gave you.

Mina grabbed your bangled-wrist and tugged you to sit with her between the two boys.

The unmistakeable scent of sugar and apples wafted over his face when you sat down. You shot him a big, toothy grin and Denki thought he was going to short-circuit right there-

He didn’t realise he actually was letting off electricity until he watched your hair stand on end.

“What the…” You tried to pat your hair down, while Mina cackled behind you. The pink woman draped an arm around your shoulder.

“Aww, Denki’s all nervous! Look at him!”

You stopped focusing on your hair and looked at the man next to you. Lean, tan and blushing furiously. He was, in truth, letting sparks fly off him like a faulty wire.

You chuckled, “You alright?”

Denki did not know what to do. You were staring at him with a cheeky smile, eyes wide and soft, and his friends were laughing and pointing at him behind you.

“Yes.” It was the only word the poor boy could get out. You snorted at him and rolled your eyes, pulling out your phone.

He watched with wide eyes as you grabbed his hand but you pulled back for a minute when he shocked you.

“Shit- sorry-”

“Just put your number in my phone, okay?”

You held out the device in your hand with a cocky grin.

Mina had to usher him to another room to calm down before he blew your phone up in his hand by accident….

note: pls shoto is so OOC IDFK HOW TO WRITE HIM 😭

[urhoneycombwitch]

eddie x latebloomer, virgin reader (so not self-projecting...) who isn't innocent or typically what people say is "virginal" (because virginity is a construct!) but still gets super nervous about heavy petting/sex because they've never done it before and don't want to be bad or weird and literally just flees at the confrontation

until that ovulation hits and r! is trying so hard to ignore it, squirming on Eddie's couch/bed and he's like 🤨 you ok? and then it just comes out in a whole word vomit that he's super hot and they're absolutely soaked but don't know what to do and it probably won't be good and they should just go home and eddies like... no big deal, I'll just eat you out, no penetration 🤷🏻

and when they do actually have sex later, I know Eddie talks R through it

ty for suggesting this anon! u got me inspired here's a lil blurb. also dedicated to @wdsara48 who asked for more inexperienced!reader content 🫡

+18 mdni: Eddie’s a bit clueless about the hormone cycle, oral (r receiving), cumming in pants (guess who), ovulation horny (™)

____________

On second thought, it was probably a really bad call to visit your boyfriend when you were this horny.

Which sounds silly, you know it does- who wouldn't want to visit their hot boyfriend at a time like this?- but you've really been enjoying taking it slow this time around. Eddie is the first boy you've dated who has totally and completely earned your trust when it comes to sex- he's never once pressured you to take your heated make-out sessions any further, pulling back and unwinding himself from you with spit-slick lips every so often to gauge your comfort level.

Is this okay? How are you feeling? Wanna take a break?

So kind. So considerate. So far away, in the kitchen, humming to himself while he fixes dinner, hair loose and curling around the shoulders of his tight Metallica tee. Every time he reaches over to stir the pot of chili on the stove, the lean muscles in his upper back and biceps curl and flex.

Hormones are flushing hot through your body, the couch you’re seated on feeling more and more confining by the second; you cross your legs at the ankle in an attempt to stave off the fidgeting, but when this causes the thick denim of your zippered jeans to press into the ache between your legs you are quick to uncross them again.

There’s a low-toned buzz that’s taken up residence in your hearing, like all the raging horniness has no place else to go- which is why you don’t hear Eddie the first time he speaks.

He’s standing at the edge of the living room now, hands on hips, one dark brow raised in your direction- “Earth to angel. You with me?”

“Huh?” You swallow harshly against the dryness in your throat (contrasted with the excess wetness in other places) and shake your head, slipping your hands underneath your thighs to sit on them and ground yourself a bit. “Sorry, I was zoning out. What’d you say?”

“I said you seem antsy tonight,” Eddie repeats, moving in to sit next to you, close enough for your knees to touch. “Had too much coffee or somethin’? Y’know, you really shouldn’t drink that stuff after noon. Not good for ya.”

He’s teasing, all smooth movements with an easy grin as he snakes an arm around your shoulders.

The smoke-sweet smell of his cologne floods your senses- musky and heady and this underlayer of something earthy, wild, that you could swear hits on a primal nerve by the way it makes your clit throb.

When you stiffen under Eddie’s arm, he reads your signal as one of discomfort, tsking at himself underneath his breath before starting to pull away. “Sorry, sweetheart, didn’t mean to make you-”

“No!” Your hand darts out to grab at his over your shoulder, keeping him from leaving, because if the warmth of his body pressed to your side stops you might actually die. “No, it’s not you. I promise. It’s me. I’m…”

Eddie watches you with mild concern as you flounder, mouth opening and shutting a few times before settling on just the truth- “I’m ovulating.”

He blinks. “Um. Shit. Do you need to go to the doctor? ‘Cuz the main office is definitely closed this time ‘a night but the ER is for sure open-”

You bend at the waist, pitching forward with a groan and cutting him off. With hot cheeks buried in your hands, your voice comes out muffled- “Didn’t you take sex ed, like, three times?”

“Sure did. Learned basic anatomy real well.” His palm has slid to your lower back, your shirt ridden up to expose a stripe of skin that his warm hand now rests on. “Help me out, princess. What’s goin’ on?”

With a pounding heart, you manage to sit up, looking down at your hands in your lap as you whisper, “Ovulation makes me, like, super horny.”

At first, you think he didn’t hear you, but after a beat of silence there’s a subtle shift in his posture, spine straightening.

“Oh.” Eddie’s hand on you doesn’t move but his other one smoothes down the line of his jean-clad thigh, clearing his throat before asking, “And do you wanna… do something about that?”

Mustering courage, you swivel slightly to look at him- the joking tone from earlier has drained out of his voice, and this is the shyest you’ve ever seen him: staring unseeing at his own lap, plucking at the knee of his jeans.

“Like what?” You ask, matching the same low tone he’s just used.

When Eddie looks back at you, that’s when you realize your mistake- his lack of eye contact wasn’t due to shyness. The way he’s looking at you now, dark chocolate eyes holding a steady gaze, it’s a wonder he’s been so restrained this whole time. 

“Could eat you out. Only if you wanted, though.”

You shiver. Visibly. 

A slow, half-tilted smile pulls at Eddie’s lips; he brings your free hand to his face and kisses your knuckles, then tugs you up with him to stand.

“C’mon. Let’s go to the bedroom.”

Cast in soft lamplight, Eddie closes the door to his room before cupping your face in his hands, cool rings against your cheeks. He kisses you gently, at first, plush lips notching in steady rhythm against yours; when you tug him in closer by his waist and slip your tongue between his teeth, he groans into your mouth.

He pulls away, wet click of your separating mouths loud in the quiet of the room before giving your hip a light tap. “Up on the bed, angel.”

You’re quick to comply, crawling backwards on the duvet, lust unfurling in your stomach as you rest half-propped on your elbows.

Eddie divests himself of his shirt in one fluid motion without taking his eyes from you. His pale skin gleams in the low light, silver chain and guitar pick necklace swinging as he moves to hover over you.

“You okay?” He asks, dark hair a curtain around both your faces as his bare torso presses against your clothed one. 

When you nod, he ducks to kiss you again before sliding a hand up your shirt. “Good. ‘Cuz I don’t think I could stop even if I wanted to.”

You know he’s mostly joking- you and him have a safeword, and he’s always attentive to your body signals- but the pure desire that he’s kissing and touching you with is indicative of a boy who’s waited too long to be able to have you like this.

Eddie laps at your mouth, tongue twining with yours as his hand squeezes and molds the fat of your breast through your bra as both your nipples stiffen in response. When his knee slots between your thighs, you moan, hips jolting up to chase the friction.

“Can I…” you’re panting, forehead crushed to Eddie’s as you search for the words. “I want your mouth, on me- please.”

You’re rarely ever so communicative, usually hidden away behind a wall of reservations that are totally melted away now. Eddie makes a noise like he’s been punched, sucks at a spot behind your ear that causes your hips to rock forward again, then says, “Yeah, sweetheart, yeah. You can have my mouth. Fuck.”

While he kisses down the slope of your neck, between your clothed breasts, your bare stomach where your shirt’s been rucked up, he’s muttering (to himself, to you, hard to say): “‘Course you can have my mouth. Have it wherever you want it. Christ. Should’a asked for it sooner. Give you anything you want.”

Eddie pops the button on your jeans and you lift your hips so he can pull them completely off your body; when he sees the wet patch of arousal darkening your baby blue underwear he chokes out another curse before working the fabric down your hips and tossing them to the ground.

“Gonna let me taste you, baby?” he asks, stretching his lower half out on the mattress and pulling your legs over his shoulders, his mouth inches from your soaked core. Eddie looks up at you, face bracketed by your thighs, pupils blown out with desire, waiting for your go-ahead.

“Please,” you murmur, stretching out a hand to pet at the crown of his head.

His eyes flutter shut for a moment with your touch; when he presses a kiss to the top of your cunt, your hand tightens in his hair, his resulting hum of encouragement vibrating against your clit.

Eddie flattens his tongue and licks a wide stripe up your folds, spreading the wetness from your leaking hole up to mouth sloppily at your clit; when he sucks the bundle of nerves into his mouth, your elbow supporting your half-propped frame gives out and you pitch back against the covers.

“There- ah- shit, there, Eddie…” you sound wrecked already, voice husked with the strain of holding back whines. Normally, you’d be so in your head about the exposing condition you’re in, but at this point you’re too wound up to care, Eddie’s tongue against the beating heart of you coaxing that tightness in your stomach closer and closer to snapping.

His nails bite in where his hands span the width of your thighs, holding you against his mouth even as your legs tremble and hips twist jerkily with each sweep of his tongue; Eddie gives one last suck to your clit then follows the line of your cunt down, down with his tongue to prod at your sodden entrance.

When his tongue slides into you with a wet squelch, obscenely loud in the otherwise quiet room, you both moan in tandem- your hand in his hair tightens to near-brutal, and the bed underneath you both tremors with the jolt of Eddie’s hips rutting into the mattress.

He sets a steady pace with his tongue, fucking it in and out of you as his nose nudges against your clit. That coil in your stomach is starting to make all your muscles tense up, your thighs locking Eddie in place (who seems to only be spurred on with each constriction of your body).

“Gonna come?” The lower half of his face is coated in your slick as he takes a brief pause to kiss at your inner thigh, one hand coming to rest on your tummy, pinning you down. “C’mon, baby. Let me see it.”

Your body obeys, tension snapping as his mouth returns to your cunt, a high whine of “Eddie Eddie Eddie” that you don’t bother to hide this time loosening from your throat as everything around you bursts and crashes into orgasm.

Toes curling against Eddie’s lower back, cunt spasming around his tongue, Eddie fucks you through it and then some, his own hips mindlessly grinding down as your release triggers his own, spilling warm into his boxers while your high spirals out.

When the spams of your pleasure turn over into aftershocks, Eddie comes up for air, pressing one last kiss to your overstimulated cunt before crawling up your body to lie on top with his head in the crook of your neck.

“Fuck,” you say aloud to the ceiling, breathless, arms automatically encircling the boy. “Holy shit.”

“I’ll say.” Eddie’s breath cools over the sticky patch he kissed into your skin, his mouth still wet with your release. He gathers enough energy to plant his elbows on either side of your head, looking down at you, suddenly serious. “So um… how often do you get ovi- ovel… like this? Once a year or somethin’?”

The laugh shakes out of your chest before you can stop it; you reach up to tuck Eddie’s curls behind his ears, your previous bashfulness having been tongue-fucked out of you.

“Eddie Munson, do I have news for you.”

[luvjunie]

i need a miles 42 x plus size reader any plot can work 😭

— headcanons. miles with a plus size reader

a/n: i really really hope i did these justice anon im so sorry if i didn’t! for my plus size lovies 🫶🏽

• He is in loveee with your body. Infatuated with every curve, every roll, every stretch mark. Everything that comes with you. He literally compliments you until you get tired of it, and you know it’s genuine just off how he looks at you.

• Encourages you to wear the clothes that you’ve been too scared to go out in. The ones that have been sitting in your closet for ages because you claim “they’re not for your body type”.

• He thinks that’s absolute bullshit and got mad when you told him that. Not at you, but at the fact that you genuinely believed something like that were true. He never lets you talk badly about yourself.

“Fuck you mean they’re not for your body type?” “That’s bullshit, ma. don’t let me hear that again. You look good in everything.”

• For the first few months of your relationship you refused to sit on his lap. He didn’t press you about it because he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but eventually he caught on to what you were doing. And now he doesn’t ask you anymore, he just grabs your arm and pulls you into it.

“Stop it, baby. Don’t get up, I want you here.”

• Has bought a few oversized hoodies specifically so when you go through his closet you can find one that doesn’t just “fit” but is baggy on you, too. He didn’t understand why that was important at first, because you fit his other hoodies just fine, but when he asked, you got a little flustered and told him it was just a girl thing, and that it was stupid so he shouldn’t worry about it. He thought the opposite, though, because if something mattered to you it mattered to him. He went out and bought some the next day.

• Loves to go shopping with you so you have a second opinion in the dressing room. Often times you’re quick to shut down a potential purchase, because for some reason you just don’t see what he does when you look in the mirror.

“Baby, do you like this or does it look weird on me?” “Mhmm, definitely get that one.”

“What about these?” “Lord have mercy I’m bout to—“. “Miles!” “My bad. That was gon’ be a yes, by the way.”

• Will get up and make your plate for you at a family party just in case you’re anxious about doing it yourself or worried about potential looks you might (you won’t) get.

“What you want mama, chicken or pork?” “….” “If you don’t choose I’ll give you both.” “Umm, chicken, please.” “You want rice?” “No, I’m alright.” “Alright, so yes to rice then. You want some pasta, too?” “Miles, I think I have enough on my plate. I don’t wanna take too much…” “Nah, mami. My family not like that. You gotta try everything or they’re gonna try and feed you themselves.”

[specialagentlokitty]

10th doctor x deaf!reader - the way you talk

Heya! Absolutely love your work! I've been rewatching doctor who ready for davids comeback😍 it's kinda hard because i'm deaf and sometimes the subtitles dont keep up with the timings😫 i was wondering if i could request a 10th doctor with a deaf reader if possible pleaseeee, thanks 💜 - Anon💜

A/N: Italics will be sign language

The TARDIS enabled the doctor to speak and listen to every language there was.

And for somebody like it, it was amazing, incredibly useful, meaning there wasn’t anything that would be lost in translation.

But, he realised there was limitations to this, and that he wouldn’t make him an expert in some areas, especially sign language.

He knew some, enough to get by if needed.

But when he met you, he realised that wouldn’t be enough if he wanted to communicate with you.

You talked through notepads and text messages, but for him it wasn’t enough, he wanted more. He wanted to communicate with you the way you had to.

So, when he had some free time, which surprisingly was quite a lot considering he always seemed so busy, he began to learn.

And when he next went to pick you up, he wore a grin from ear to ear as he waved at you.

You waved back, following him into the TARDIS, and you set your notepad and pen on the console, putting your bag out of the way before coming back over.

The doctor was flicking through the notepad, and you waved your hand at him, gesturing for him to pass it back.

Quickly writing in it, you flipped it over and held it out to him.

‘Where are we going?’

The doctor beamed.

He took it from you and set it down, making you furrow your brows a little bit, and he began to put some coordinates in.

You took the notepad again, asking him where he was taking you, but he wouldn’t reply, so you knew it was a surprise he had planned for you.

Which wasn’t so bad, except usually his surprises ended in some sort of running or rescue situation.

He was bouncing around, and you smiled as you watched him, leaning against the railing as you just watched him bounce from thing to thing, doing whatever it was he needed to do.

You didn’t quite know how the whole TARDIS worked, and he had offered to explain it, but you didn’t want him to sit there for hour writing it all down.

You were happy not knowing.

As long as you were travelling with him you didn’t care.

He bounding over, and with a grin he held out his hand to you.

“Come with me.” He said.

He knew you could lip read, so often he would just speak to you.

Sometimes he would forget and be stood behind you, trying to have a whole conversation with you and getting confused when you wouldn’t talk back.

You smiled, placing your hand in his, letting him lead you to the doors and outside.

It was bright, multiple sun sun the sky. It was warm, it wasn’t hot, it seemed like the perfect temperature.

The sand was a vibrant shade of gold, and in the distance the heatwaves rippled about, creating almost an illusion if there being water over there.

The doctor looked at you, smiling even more when he saw you smiling, and he reached out, tapping your shoulder.

You turned to him and he took a small breath.

I don’t know if I’m doing this right, I’m still learning.

Your eyes shot open at the sight of him signing, carefully watching what he was doing as he carried on.

But I want to make it easier for you to talk.

He looked at you slightly nervous.

How long have you been learning? When did you start?

You carried on signing questions and he quickly took your hands to stop you.

Laughing slightly, the doctor smiled and let go.

Not so fast, I’m still learning.

You grinned sheepishly.

Sorry. Why did you start?

So I could talk to you.

You furrowed your brows a little bit.

Yes we write or text to each other, but I want to talk to you properly. The way you do, I wanted to make it easier on you.

You smiled and rushed to hug him tightly, and he happily hugged you back.

He had a long way to go, but with some practice and you to help guide him, he would be able to have longer conversations with you in no time

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Hiya hiya! Once again congratulations on 500! I was wondering if I could request a fic with Isagi and handholding! Idk hand holding sounds very romantic so I would love to see how you’ll write it!

── PATHWAYS

Synopsis: You go on a walk with your boyfriend while he’s on a break from the intense training of Blue Lock.

Event Masterlist

Pairing: Isagi x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 1.1k

Content Warnings: fluff, isagi is lowkey a simp, slight rin and nagi slander (i love them though i promise)

A/N: EEK i’m sorry this took me a sec anon!! i’ve never written for isagi before so this was def smth new which is why it took me a bit to get in the right headspace. i hope it’s okay for you <3

Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.

It was colder outside than you had expected. Isagi, who was wearing a coat and had a scarf wrapped around his neck, didn’t seem bothered by the temperature, but as for you, you were miserably trying to hide your shivers, pulling your sweater tighter around yourself to disguise it. He had told you that it was chilly, and you had ignored his warning, so it was now your burden to bear.

“I haven’t seen you in so long,” Isagi said, white clouds forming in the air from the heat of his breath. “I missed you a lot the entire time I was there.”

“I missed you, too,” you said. “I know we were able to talk a few times on your one friend’s phone, but it wasn’t the same.”

Isagi wrinkled his nose. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get my own back. I really tried my best. I wanted to talk to you as much as I could, to make up for our physical distance.”

“It’s okay. The fact that you were willing to take care of all of your teammate’s sweaty, gross laundry just to get the chance to call me for a couple of minutes means more to me than anything,” you said, bumping your shoulder against his as you walked along the side of the dirt path connecting your house to the nearest park.

“That was definitely a sacrifice,” he said, gagging from just the memory. “I’d do it again for you, but it was really horrible, Y/N. It’s bad enough dealing with my own clothes after matches, but adding Nagi’s to the mix…it was brutal, to say the least.”

“My poor boyfriend,” you said. “I’m so lucky to have someone who’s willing to endure so much for me. I must’ve been a really good person in my last life.”

“I’m the lucky one,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “To be honest, I was kind of scared you’d find someone else while I was gone. It would only make sense, right? How could a girl as beautiful as you not have a million other options? It would be pretty easy for you to forget about me and move on.”

“Would you forget about me and move on if the roles were reversed?” you said, your teeth chattering. Isagi’s eyebrows shot up, almost disappearing behind his dark hair.

“No way!” he said, shrugging off his coat and draping it around your shoulders. “I’d never, ever do that. I still can’t believe I’m dating you at all!”

“You’re so goofy,” you said. “Hey, don’t give me this. Won’t you get cold?”

“Nah, I’m tough. What kind of number-one striker gets defeated by some wind?” he said. You hummed appreciatively, zipping up the large jacket and rejoicing in the warmth it instantly provided you with.

“Number-one striker, and the hero of Blue Lock, I’m told,” you said. His cheeks turned pink.

“That, too,” he said.

“It’s all everyone at school talks about. One day, you just randomly disappeared, and no one but me knew where you had gone. Then suddenly, you were on TV, making the winning goal in one of the most exciting matches of soccer any of us had ever seen! I feel like the girlfriend of a celebrity,” you said.

“You should get used to it,” he said. “I’m only going to get better from here. I’ll be a World Cup winner next, and since you’re stuck with me, you’re going to have to deal with everything that that entails.”

“Stuck with you?” you said. He reached for your hand, squeezing it tightly, holding up your interlaced fingers so that he could admire them.

“Do you see your hand?” he said, very seriously. 

“I see it,” you said.

“And you see mine?” he continued.

“Mhm,” you said. As always, his were warm, compared to the iciness of your extremities. He liked to joke that it meant the two of you were made for each other, only able to reach the perfect temperature when you were together.

“That’s us,” he said. “We’re going to be like that forever.”

“Goofy and cheesy? What a lethal combination,” you said, shaking your head.

His palm was callused and rough against yours, a proof of how hard he worked. He was always like that, you had noticed even upon first meeting him, always doing the best he could in any given situation, making up for any disadvantages with the sheer force of his will alone. It was nice to have that tangible reminder of who he was pressed against you, so you made no move to let go of his hand even after his little demonstration had concluded.

“I know,” he said. “And my jokes are really bad. But you like that about me, right?”

“I do,” you said. “Your jokes aren’t terrible, though. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“They make you laugh, so I guess they can’t be that bad,” he said. “Although everyone in Blue Lock hated them. One time, my friend Bachira threw a shoe at me for being unfunny, and Rin Itoshi called me a lukewarm NPC for trying to cheer him up with a pun.”

“If anyone is an NPC, it’s him, just for unironically calling someone that,” you said. “They just don’t understand you, Isagi. It’s okay; true art is never appreciated by the masses.”

“That’s right. As long as you’re happy, I don’t mind if they detest me,” he said. You pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you,” you said.

“Should we get sour gummies at the convenience store? It’s been forever since I had some,” he said, his entire face turning red. It was funny — he would declare his love to you in the most cliched of ways and entirely on a whim, but if you ever reciprocated, he would shut down entirely. Like he said, he really still couldn’t believe that you both were actually together, that in fact you had been together for months now, and so he often acted like a little kid with his first crush whenever he was around you.

“Sounds like a good idea. I’ve been craving some myself,” you said.

“Okay! Let’s go. I’ll race you!” he said, taking off at a run, though contrary to his challenging words, he pulled you along, careful to keep your hands connected as you giggled and stumbled after him.

You had missed him, so much more than you could ever verbalize. You had spent every day that he was gone thinking about him, his spontaneity, his wide smile and his kindness, the gentle way he always spoke to you, how easily taking care of you came to him.

Running towards the convenience store alongside him, you held onto his hand tightly, as much for balance as because you couldn’t imagine letting go. 

[dizscreams]

AHH ETHAN SEEING YOU WEARING HIS SHIRT ‼️😧😘😋🤍

OOOO ANON I LOVE THIS IDEA!!

“CAN I GET A KISS? AND CAN YOU MAKE IT LAST FOREVER?”

— Ethan Landry ★

PAIRING: Ethan Landry x GN!Reader

A/N: TRYING TO WRITE AS MUCH AS I CAN EVEN THOUGH IM ON VACATION LOL

TAGS: @ourloveisgod23 @xyzstar @wenvierismycomfort @beary-rambles @aesthetixhoe @gabbylovesreading @wekiamo @aqellano @mbankfav @teyamsgirll @c8rdigan @astermath @brakke-dino

You were on the couch watching tv while you waited for your boyfriend to come over. He said he had to finish studying and he’d be on his way. Which was over 30 minutes ago, but you’re sure there was a good excuse for it! He was a busy guy so you usually had to be patient and wait for him.

You were mindlessly scrolling on your phone as you laid on the couch. You missed him a lot, lately there hadn’t been a lot of time to just relax and enjoy each others company. You lived with Sam, Tara, and Quinn and Ethan lived with Chad. So between school work and roommates you could never really be alone.

Quinn always barged in which was weird in certain situations or Tara and Sam would be arguing and Chad was Chad and always wanted to third wheel to embarrass Ethan.

You were about to text Ethan again before you heard a knock at the door. You threw the blanket off of you and ran towards the door and unlocking it quickly. “Hi, sorry I’m late,” your boyfriend said standing there with a shy smile on his face holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers. “Eth, you didn’t have to do that,” you smiled brightly at him as you gently took it from his hands.

“No, but I wanted to. I felt bad for holding you up.”

“Thank you,” you said softly before giving him a quick peck on the lips, “You can sit down on the couch, I’m just gonna put these up.” He nodded and you quickly walked away from him and towards the kitchen causing Ethan to get a good look at your shirt. The design looked really familiar to him.

You found a glass big enough for the flowers and delicately took them out of the packaging. You grabbed all of them at once since it wasn’t a large bouquet and put them in, “There!” You tried walking away but were stopped when you felt two big arms wrapping around your waist followed by Ethan’s chin on your shoulder. “You’re wearing my shirt, aren’t you?”

You smiled and turned around so that you were now facing him, his arms still around your waist. “Maybe I am, what’s it to you?” He chuckled, “Nothing, I’m just kinda surprised is all?” “Surprised?” You asked confused and Ethan’s cheeks turned red, “I don’t know, it just looks good on you,” he said quietly. You kissed his cheek, “You’re so cute,” you giggled as you began to kiss his other cheek, then his head, then his nose, and then finally his lips.

You sighed as you both relaxed into the kiss, as this had been something you both were craving all day. You slowly put your arms around his neck and gently tugged him closer to you. The kiss was slow and passionate but Ethan eventually pulled away from you, smiling.

“I really do like seeing you in my shirt,” he said softly. “Don’t flatter yourself too much, I couldn’t find anything comfy to wear.” He rolled his eyes and you kissed his lips again. It was longer than a peck but shorter than what you guys did before. “So what movie do you wanna watch?” he asked. “You can pick-” but you didn’t have time to finish your sentence before he picked you up and walked towards the couch.

“Ethan! Put me down, what are you doing?”

He sat you down and flopped down next to you. “I was thinking a horror movie,” he told you. You hummed, “Of course you were.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Nothing!” You laughed.

“I think you’re just jealous you can’t handle horror movies.”

He looked away to focus back on picking a movie and you rolled your eyes playfully. You noticed he had the same dumb smile on his face as you probably did which only made you smile more as you got comfortable on the couch and held onto his arm. You put your head on his shoulder as you watched him scroll through movies.

He finally found one and out the remote onto the coffee table before leaning back and wrapping his arm around you. “It really does look good on you,” he said toying with the hem of the shirt. “I’m beginning to think you’re only saying that because it’s your shirt,” you said looking up at him. He smiled a bit, “Maybe. “Im not getting it back am I?”

“Not a chance”

You both giggled and you put your head back on his shoulder and muttered a quiet “I love you.” The movie had just started and you were already growing a little tired but you couldn’t help it, he gave you so much comfort.

“I love you too.”

[lovlidollie]

would you write rafe x reader who’s in juvenile prison for assault, drug possession etc.

like she got in there & when rafe visits her he tells her how disappointed he is (let’s pretend he’s not the same🤭) & this causes her to fight with another inmate because of an argument that got heated. so she’s beating her up & gets time out.

something like that?

i like the way your mind thinks anon, so sorry this took so long ! i made it so that the argument she got into was with another female inmate talking abt wanting to fuck rafe :3

your muscles are all tense, even the air in the room is tense. you’re sitting there in silence, hand rubbing your elbow as you look everywhere but at the big hulking mass of muscle in front of you. rafe. he’s manspreading in the rickety chair, arms crossed over his chest, lips pressed into a thin line, jaw clenched so hard you can practically hear his teeth grinding. his hair is all mussed and his leg is bouncing against the linoleum.

you swallow thickly, the taste of blood lingering on your tongue from the split in your lip. the dull ache is nothing compared to the shame you feel facing rafe like this. “i’m sorry,” you finally say softly, breaking the silence. he scoffs and shakes his head, mouthing ‘sorry’ mockingly. rafe rolls his eyes and then suddenly straightens in his seat, hands slamming down into the table between you. your handcuffs jingle as you pull back in shock.

rafe glares at you, pulling himself nearer. “‘sorry’? you’re sorry? think sorry fixes this?” he shakes his head, harsh laugh escaping his lips. “nah sweetheart — you — you got another thing comin’.”

you bite your lip, wincing as the pain flares up. you see rafe’s eyes flicker to them as he leans back. “do — do you even understand how fucking stupid you were? goin’ ‘round pickin’ fights in a place like this, it’s like y’don’t even think. y’think a split lip is bad? you’re lucky that’s all you got. y’fuckin’ lucky you’re even sitting in front of me. i’m so — so — fuck — i’m disappointed in you.”

the words reverberate through your head. you’d — you’d disappointed him. the one thing you never ever wanted to do.

rafe shakes his head, rubbing his face as if trying to calm down. he tries not to look at the tears building in your eyes. “i don’t need you fighting random lowlifes in here over me. what i need, is for you to be smart. to think before you act.” his words cut deep and you feel a tear slip down your cheek before you can stop it. you quickly look down, too ashamed to meet his gaze.

“look at me,” he orders, voice firm. when you don’t, he leans forward again, gripping your chin hard. “i said, look at me.” you’re forced to lift your head, vision blurry. rafe’s expression softens just a fraction, but the clear disappointment is like a heavyweight on your chest.

“what i care about, is you. what i care about, is protecting you. and you being in here, doin’ stupid shit, makes it real hard to do that.” his thumb brushes over your bottom lip, pressure lightening on your chin. you warble out, “i-i didn’t mean to— dad- please i—“ but he cuts you off when a shush.

“i know you didn’t,” he murmurs, voice losing some of its edge. “but that doesn’t change the fact that it did. and now i gotta clean it up. again.” rafe sighs deeply and lets go of your face, the sudden lack of warmth making you shiver . “up — c’mon,” he says gruffly, standing up and pushing his chair back with a screech. “bailin’ y’out.”

rafe holds out a hand for you, gesturing with his head for you to take it. “we’re gonna talk about this at home. y’lucky i love you.”

[thedisc0spider]

angst request: spencer and reader confessed their feeling for each other a while back, but decided to stay friends as to not ruin anything between them/at work. they both try to move on. so when a smosh holiday party happens they both bring people they're dating. and jealousy and angst ensues......

Selfish

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Summary: literally the request

Warnings: angstttt, cursing, fem!reader, arguing, suggestive comment at the end, jealousy

Genre: angst with a hint of fluff at the end

Point of view: 1st person (I usually write second person but I really wanted an internal monologue moment)

A/n: so this request was literally perfect? You are so lovely, anon. 🤎

————————————————————————————————————

————————————————————————————————————

Of course, I want to be with him, but it’s just not plausible. I mean, think about it, if we broke up that would affect everyone around us as well. It would just be selfish.

This all started a few months ago, I did what I had to do for the sake of not only Spencer and I, but our co-workers too.

Me and Spencer were having a movie night, nothing out of the ordinary, except this time Spencer was feeling more bold than usual. Maybe it was the wine or the dim lighting, but at one point in the night we were looking at each other and he kissed me. It felt real and it felt right, but something in me said otherwise.

“Spencer, we can’t.” I said, pulling away.

“Yes, we can.” He leaned in again.

I stopped him by putting my hand on his chest. “No, Spencer. I’m serious. We work together, this could potentially ruin everything.” I shook my head.

I know I have a tendency to overthink, but it really did feel selfish.

“But I want to risk that for you, (y/n). It’s worth it to me. You are worth the risk.”

He looked at me with this glimmer in his eyes, one that he always had when he saw me. I didn’t know what it meant at the time, but I wish I did.

“I just… I don’t want to lose this. And I don’t want to, you know, make it awkward for everyone else if it didn’t work out.”

“But, I….” He looked at the ground for a moment.

We sat there for what felt like forever.

“So, what are you saying?” He spoke in almost a whisper, as if he was trying not to cry.

“Im saying I cant be with you… in that way.”

“In what way?”

“Romantically, Spencer.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He swallowed hard. I felt so bad, but what was I supposed to do?

“Im so sorry, Spencer. I really want to, but-“

“Then why can’t we? We both want it, (y/n/n). Why are you saying this?” He stood from the couch and I could tell he was truly hurt. I stood with him.

“Because we can’t, okay!”

“But you’re the only person I want, (y/n).”

“Spence, don’t be like this. Can’t we just be friends?”

Another long moment of silence.

“Well… I don’t want to lose you, so… yeah, I guess so. If that’s the only way.”

I grabbed his hand. He looked at me.

“We aren’t gonna let this night mess anything up, right? We care about each other too much for that.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see you at work.”

After that night, everything was okay between us. We remained friends and didn’t let it ruin us.

Actually, I met someone else. We’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks casually but I’ve decided to bring him to the office holiday party. His name is Derek and he really is a sweetheart.

Tonight I’m wearing a tight dark-red dress that’s ends just above my knees. As we enter the room, I’m met with blue and frosty decorations.

Courtney and Shayne are chatting near a table that holds snacks and drinks, so I guide Derek in that direction.

“Hey, Court! Hi, Shayne!” I hug them both.

“(Y/n)! Who’s this?” She nods towards the man beside me.

“Oh! This is Derek, the guy I’ve been seeing.” He shakes both of their hands.

“Nice to meet you guys.” He smiles.

“You’re dating (y/n)? Good luck.” Shayne teases, I roll my eyes.

“Don’t listen to him.”

Courtney looks over my shoulder and smiles. “Oh, look, Spencer’s here!” They wave him over, “Spencer! Come here!”

I feel breathing get just a little harder when I see a woman walking with him, holding his hand. She was one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen. I do my best to smile. Why the hell am I jealous? This was my idea.

“Hey, guys! This is Paris.”

Fuck, even her name.

“It’s really nice to meet you all, Spencey never shuts up about you guys.”

Spencey? Before I can realize it I let out an almost unnoticeable exhale of a laugh. Spencer shoots me a warning look. I swallow. By this point Shayne and Courtney have already greeted the pair and left, leaving the four of us alone.

“It’s really nice to meet you, Paris. I’m (y/n).” I give her a polite smile, she immediately gasps and wraps me in a hug. “Oh!” I laugh, lightly hugging her back.

“You’re the famous (y/n)? It’s so great to meet you!” She lets me out of her arms.

Fuck, and she’s adorably sweet. I guess I really have no reason not to like her.

“You too!” I awkwardly nod.

“I’m Derek, by the way.” He adds, shaking the hands of the pair.

“Spencer.”

There’s a small pause. Me and Spencer look at each other for a second.

“So, um- how did you two meet?” I ask, breaking the silence.

Paris goes on and on about their first meeting, they were both at a bar about a week ago and this was only their third date.

“Well, we should probably go mingle, it was really nice to meet you, Paris. Spencer, always a pleasure.” He nods towards me before Derek and I walk away.

We both grab a drink.

“So what was that about?”

I furrow my brows. “What was what about?”

“You and that guy? I don’t know, there was just weird tension. Do you guys not get along?”

“No, we’re really good friends actually.” I laugh.

I watch as Spencer stands there with his arm around her waist. My stomach turns.

“Oh…” he look back at Spencer. “So you guys hooked up?”

“What?” I say, a little too loud. “No! No, not at all… well, I mean, we kissed, but-“

“Oh, so he’s definitely still in love with you.”

I look around, confused.

“What?”

“Babe, come on, don’t play dumb. The way he looks at you… it’s like me and that chick weren’t even in the room.”

I scoff, shaking my head.

“That’s not true, Derek.”

He rolls his eyes, “look, we both knew this wasn’t actually going anywhere. I think you’re really cool but we were both just having fun.”

I sigh, nodding.

“It’s obvious there’s something between you two, I don’t want to get involved with that.”

“I understand.”

We hug and Derek decides to leave.

I’m walking through the office, trying to find someone alone or at least a small group. The last thing I want is a big crowd.

As I pass the games pod, I see spencer at his desk. Alone.

“You know this is a party, right?” I say, sitting on the couch.

Spencer whips his head back. “Oh, yeah I was just… I don’t know.” He shakes his head.

“Where’s Paris?”

He scoffs.

“What?”

“Look, I don’t know what this game is but I’m done playing.”

“What are you talking about?”

He narrows his eyes. “You were a bitch to her.”

“Sorry, what?” I stand, crossing my arms over my chest.

He meets my gaze by standing himself.

“She was super nice to you, (y/n) and you brushed her off.”

I stand there at a loss for words for a moment, looking anywhere but in his eyes. He was right, I wasn’t very nice to her. Shit.

“Im sorry.” I finally look at him. “You’re right, I was jealous.”

He sighs, running his hands down his face. “This was your idea, (y/n)! You don’t get to be jealous.”

I’ve never seen him this mad before. The glimmer in his eye is gone and suddenly I miss it. I screwed up.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Okay.”

I look up at him. The way he’s glaring at me is something I never thought I’d ever see from him. It hurt.

“You’re so confusing. One day you just want to be friends and the next you’re all bitchy about the fact that I’m trying to move on! You wanted this-“

“Well, maybe I fucked up!” I shrug, dropping my arms as I sit back on the couch. My head is in my hands and I’m crying. Why am I crying? This is so embarrassing.

“(Y/n) I didn’t mean…” he sighs, sitting next to me. “Please don’t cry. I’m sorry.”

He gently rubs my back as to comfort me, but it only makes he break down more. Spencer brings me into his chest.

After a few minutes I pull myself together, sitting up.

“This is pathetic, I’m sorry.” I laugh.

“No, it’s not.”

“Honestly… I thought it would be selfish for us to be together, but I think this is worse. Either way someone gets hurt.”

He runs a hand through my hair, twirling it in his fingers, giving me and sympathetic look.

“Yeah, you’re right. I ended it with Paris. I feel bad for doing it at a party but-“

“Wait what? Why would you do that?” I turn towards him, furrowing my brows.

“There was no future there… she took it surprisingly well, though.”

“Thats good. Derek left too.” I laugh.

“Oh, that sucks. I’m sorry.” He shakes his head.

I shrug, “no, it’s fine.”

“(Y/n)?”

“Yeah?”

He looks at the ground, elbows resting on his knees. “What now?”

That’s a good question. Where do we go from here? Maybe it is best for us to be together, but I’m not sure if the offer still stands.

“Well… I guess it’s up to you.” I shrug, “but if you’ll still have me… maybe we can try that kiss again?”

He looks over at me, sitting up. “Really?”

I nod. Spencer places his hand on my cheek, gently pulling me in. As our lips meet, I let it happen this time. Again, it feels right except, this time there’s no undertones of uncertainty. By the time we pull away, the glimmer in his eye has resurfaced.

I smile.

“How was that?” He whispers.

“Perfect.”

He pulls me into his embrace, tightly hugging me like he’s never going to let go. I sigh into his chest. This feels right.

“So, what do say we go back to my place, Spencey.” I tease, smirking.

Spencer lets out a loud laugh, “Shut up.”

[imaginespazzi]

Part 1: Don't Be A Stranger

Masterlist - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

But if (my) world was ending, you'd come over right?

(In which UCLA anon's roman empire became this writer's roman empire and we've finally reached the beginning)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and a little bit of Fluff

Words: 8.4 K (other parts will be shorter....maybe)

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Gonna keep this as short and sweet as possible but we've finally, finally gotten to the UCLA fic. A huge shout out to UCLA anon, because this is their master idea. Couple of things, I've never been to LA or UCLA and therefore some things are out of whack. The timeline is also a little out of whack but I swear I will try to keep it as consistent as possible. In the mean time, just ignore some of the inconsistencies pretty please. As always, feel free to let me know what's bad, what's good and what else you'd like to see. I hope y'all enjoy this first part and let's get another W today!

August 2021

where are you 

i literally have to be at the airport in an hour paige where are you 

dude 

are you on your way?

you better be driving and that’s why you’re not answering 

PAIGE

i’m sorry about last night i shouldn’t have said that 

but you said a lot of shit too so call it even?

this isn’t funny where are you?

i have to leave in 15 mins 

are you actually not coming?

wtf????

this is actually bullshit

get over yourself bueckers 

wow 

fuck you

just landed 

thought you might like to know 

sorry my plane didn’t crash i guess 

September 2021

dude enough okay 

can you just call me back??

i just wanna talk 

i know you're mad i get it but i miss you   

November 2021 

hi i’mma be in dc over christmas

nvm 

idk why i’m trying again  

maybe i should block you 

this is kinda pathetic of me what the fuck 

December 2021

i thought i saw you today but idk

couldn’t have been you cause if it was 

would you really not even say hi?

i’m done trying paige 

merry christmas i guess

March 2022 

i misz you 

lyke a wot

love uuuuu pppppp

even if ur a bwtich 

pkese pick up 

ignore that 

people drunk text exes apparently i drunk text you 

wait 

i don’t need to tell you that 

you already ignore it all anyways

 

August 2022 

i heard about the acl 

i’m sorry 

idk if it means anything, but if you wanna talk

nvm 

***

September 2022 

When the doorbell rings, on a quiet Thursday afternoon during a rare moment of alone time, Paige expects it to be a lot of people. One of her parents deciding that they actually weren’t going to leave her alone. Someone else in her family showing up out of the blue to provide comfort. Maybe one of her teammates popping up to keep her entertained. She even thinks it might be some random fan who got too invested and figured out the address for her air BnB. It’s the saddest testament to how broken they are, that the idea of it being Azzi Fudd standing outside her door, never once crosses her mind. But there she is, when Paige opens the door, dressed in ripped jean shorts and a light blue tank top, the girl that had been her best friend, and maybe a little bit more. 

Silence stretches between them as Azzi fidgets with her hands and Paige continues to stoically stare at her. It’s been almost a year since they’ve seen each other, even longer since they’d last shared a happy smile. And you’d have to go back to before she’d told her about her future plans, to find the last time Azzi had properly looked Paige in the eyes.  

“Hi,” Azzi says finally, mustering up a small smile. Paige doesn’t know if hearing that voice, soft and subdued but still so familiar, fixes a crack or breaks her heart even further. She wills herself to be polite in response, to match Azzi’s polite greeting with a greeting of her own. But there’s clear discord between her mouth and her head, because her words are harsh and hollowed. 

“What are you doing here?”

Azzi swallows, smile disappearing as she immediately digs her fingernails into her palms and Paige feels the guilt settle into her stomach. It’s like the night before all over again. If she closes her eyes, Paige can still hear her voice loudly echoing in Azzi’s childhood bedroom. She can hear the angry words that she’d hurled at her best friend, each one like a well-aimed arrow piercing the other’s girl's heart and tearing into Paige’s own soul. Some would call what she’d done self-preservation. She’d call it her biggest mistake. 

“I um-,” Azzi sucks in her bottom lip, “I was in the area and thought, maybe I’d check in.”

“How did you even know where I was?” Paige hates how cold and accusatory her voice sounds. It’s a version of herself she doesn’t quite know how to deal with, one that hasn’t ever appeared for anyone other than the girl in front of her, “I know I didn’t tell you.”

Any semblance of calm is gone from Azzi’s face, as she seems to realise that she’s not going to be getting any cordiality from her old friend. 

 “And we’re off to a great start,” she mutters under her breath before replying to Paige’s exact question, “no you didn’t. Your dad-”

“You talked to my dad?”

“Yeah. I mean you know Drew looks up to Jon and José so much and they still talk and stuff and he came over- Drew I mean- and then your dad was there and we just got to talking and you came up and yeah. He told me and well I live here, kinda, so I thought- well I thought maybe you’d like some company?”

As Azzi’s rambling explanation comes to an end, Paige doesn’t miss the tinge of hopefulness in her voice at the last bit. The younger girl shuffles her feet, as she stares at the blonde expectantly. 

“I don’t-” Paige struggles to draw in a breath as the voices in her head argue, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Her words are met with silence as Azzi stares at her blankly. 

“I- you,” she blinks rapidly, clearly at a loss for what to say at the blatant rejection, “I can’t come in?”

“It’s just- I’ve had a lot of people visit you know,” Paige bullshits, suddenly feeling very exhausted, “and my family were here a couple days and my friends are coming soon and-”

“And I’m neither of those things,” Azzi says, her tone low and breathy. 

“That’s not what-”

“It is,” Azzi closes her eyes for a brief second, when she opens them, the flash of hurt in them feels like a dagger through Paige’s chest, “it is like that and it is what you meant and it’s- it’s fine.”

“Az-” Paige chokes out, feeling her lungs collapse when the other girl moves to leave, “please,” and she’s not even sure she’s asking for, but it’s not this. It’s never been this.

Azzi stops and when she turns back around, there’s a determined look on her face.

“I just-” she rubs her face, composing herself before focusing her eyes on Paige, “you’re the strongest person I know. And you’re going to come back from this, better than ever. I know it. The whole world knows it. Because you’re Paige Bueckers. You’re something else.  You’re the hardest worker, you’re just- you’re the best.”

“You don’t-”

“Just- just let me finish okay and then, then I’ll go or whatever but Paige, you’re all of those things you know? Strong, brave, the best fucking player- but, it’s also okay if sometimes-, if sometimes you aren’t. It’s okay because this- this is hard, I know it is. So if sometimes you’re not strong or-, or brave- or not feeling like working hard- it’s okay. And if there are moments where you- where you want to give up, that’s okay too. It doesn’t make you- it doesn’t make you any less than what you are. It just makes you human, and it’s okay you know- to be human. It’s okay if- if you hurt and it’s okay if you’re not okay. It’s- it’s okay.”

The two girls stare at each other, eyes shining with tears, as Paige let’s Azzi’s words wash over her. She’s been told a lot of platitudes about her injury, from her coaches to her teammates to her family. And she knows she has plenty of people in her corner, who root for her and who genuinely do believe she’ll have the greatest comeback ever. But the motivational speeches get draining after a while and all she’s wanted to do for the last couple of weeks is wallow. Then she felt guilty about wallowing, that little voice in her head yelling at her to be productive and work on getting back to herself because that’s what everybody expected. Paige hadn’t even realised how badly she needed someone to give her permission to not be okay, not until the only person who’d ever known that part of her, had finally said the words she so desperately needed to hear.

The thing is, when she was younger, Paige used to keep everything bottled inside. She’d always been hyper aware of her privilege and her problems had always just seemed so insignificant in front of her parents’ or her friends. So she’d kept them to herself, trapping herself in a web of her own burdens that sometimes threatened to strangle her. And then she’d met a girl at a USA basketball camp when she was 15, a girl who had gently flicked her fingers and Paige’s walls had fallen like dominoes. She hadn’t even known she was drowning, until Azzi had shown up with a lifeboat.

“I just-,” Azzi breaks Paige out of her trance by breaking the eye contact between them, “I didn’t know if anybody had said that to you yet and I just- I wanted you to hear it.”

In the span of a minute, a thousand and one phrases take birth in Paige’s mind and then die on the tip of her tongue. She opens and closes her mouth, trying to express even one of the myriad of emotions that are swirling like a tornado in her brain. But nothing comes out except a litany of incomprehensible noises. And Azzi seems to find the wrong answer in the silence, giving the blonde a timid nod. 

“Take care of yourself P,” her voice catches on the familiar nickname, as she shoots Paige a sad smile, before beginning to walk away. When Azzi chose UCLA, she’d lit Paige's heart on fire. So, Paige had drowned their friendship. And while all this time Azzi has struggled to breathe, Paige has burned but god, is she so fucking tired of it. 

“Fuck, Azzi wait,” Paige curses, hobbling to catch up to the brunette, who stops with a sigh but doesn’t make a move to return. Stubborn as always, Paige thinks, continuing her way over. When she does catch up, she’s not fully sure what to say and so,  “I uh- I’m out of milk.”

Azzi raises her eyebrows in question, crossing her arms protectively around her chest. 

“I can’t drive,” Paige explains slowly, “or walk obviously.”

Realisation dawns on Azzi’s face, “you’re asking me to drive you to the grocery store?”

“I guess,” Paige shrugs, trying to be nonchalant. 

“Seems like the kind of favour someone asks of their family, or their friends,” Azzi emphasises bitterly, never one to let go of an opportunity for sarcasm. 

Paige flinches, “right, I kinda deserved that one.”

She gets a raised eyebrow in response that very much says “ya think?”

“I’m trying here,” she says quietly, and Azzi’s hard demeanour softens, “I’m raising a white flag Az, calling a truce or whatever but it kinda needs to go both ways.” 

“What do you think me coming here was supposed to be?” the younger girl says exasperatedly, but she’s smiling again. It’s the third one Paige has gotten out of her today, and finally, she smiles back. They look a little foolish, standing in the apartment hallway, cheshire-cat-grinning at each other like idiots, but it feels like something has clicked into place again.  

“I’ll go grab my wallet, you go heat up the car.”

“It’s like 110 degrees dude.”

“Bro shut up, you know what I mean,” Paige huffs and when it makes Azzi laugh, she feels like she’s floating. It’s not as if she hasn’t been happy in a year because won’t you look at that, her world did keep turning after that one decision. But this is different. She feels airy and light, like she could jump off a cliff and fly instead of fall. 

“Well hurry up, I have things to do outside of just being your chauffeur.”

“Poor passenger princess, how the roles have reversed,” Paige mocks and it earns her an ever so familiar fond eye roll and for the first time in a year, she feels free. 

***

When she gets downstairs, Azzi’s leaning against her car door, a pair of sunglasses shielding her eyes. The hot California sun shines brightly against her tan skin, and Paige’s heart stutters because fuck, Azzi is golden. She looks every bit reminiscent of the girl Paige still has memorised and yet, every bit the promise of a girl Paige wants to learn by heart. 

“Nice car,” Paige smirks, alerting the younger girl of her presence.  

“It does the job,” Azzi says, looking up with a smile of her own, opening the passenger door for Paige to get in, “not all of us are raking in NIL deals to get the big guns, but we make do.”

“Steph Curry brand ambassador say what now?” the blonde girl teases as she slides into the car. When she looks up, Azzi’s frozen in place, “what?”

“Nothing I just-” she’s wearing sunglasses, but Paige knows Azzi's trying to avert her gaze, “I’m kinda surprised you know that.”

It’s Paige’s turn to look away, their newfound comfort giving away to that old awkwardness, “I keep up with most basketball news.”

To Azzi’s credit she doesn’t push. Instead, she makes her way into the driver seat without another sound. She’s about to connect her phone to the aux but Paige beats her to it. 

“Hey,” Azzi squeals, making grabby hands, “my car, my rules, my music.”

“Nuh-uh injury privileges,” Paige gloats, sticking out her tongue. 

“That’s not a thing.”

“Is too.”

“Fine, we’ll listen to your crap music.”

“I resent that,” Paige retorts, as Drake blasts through the speakers. The sound of it makes Azzi groan, and she dramatically bangs her head against the steering wheel. Paige spends the rest of the car ride singing at the top of her lungs. Azzi spends the rest of the car ride alternating between shaking her head and joining in with the singing. It’s like they’re back in 2020 all over again, back before they found themselves in the whirlwind of life, back when they were just Paige and Azzi.

*** 

Their trip inside the grocery store takes less time than the ride to get there, even if Paige takes her time dilly-dallying in the dairy section, pretending she’s going to get anything other than just regular milk. She’s overly conscious of the fact that their time together might be coming to an end, that this time she might actually have to deal with saying goodbye. But she’s not ready to go back to missing Azzi just yet. 

“Maybe you can show me your dorm,” she says quietly, once they're both back in the car, playing with the hem of her shirt. Beside her, Azzi draws in a sharp intake of breath, clearly not having expected Paige to want that of all things. In all honesty, the idea of stepping into the world that had stolen Azzi from her is not all that appealing to Paige but she wants to hold onto this moment just a little bit longer. 

“You wanna see my dorm?” 

“A chance to see how the non-blue blood peasants live? I’d never pass it up.”

“Non blue blood,” Azzi scoffs, "Ever heard of John Wooden?”

“I was talking about women’s basketball but yeah I have heard of him. I won the award last year. Over you,” Paige smirks, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Not everyone’s a phenom their freshman year,” Azzi retorts fondly, unable to mask the hint of pride in her voice. 

“Well we’ll see this year-” Paige stops herself, cold seeping into her lungs, as she remembers why she’s in the stupid state of California in the first place. The lighthearted mood in the car goes tumbling out the window as her words hang like a dagger in the air. 

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, trying to wrap that one syllable in comfort. She reaches out to touch the blonde’s shoulder but must think better of it because her hand hovers mid-air for a second, before she pulls it back. Paige is suddenly hyper aware of the fact they haven’t touched yet. It’s a reminder of the fact that whatever progress they’ve made today, there’s still so much they haven’t even begun to unpack. 

“It’s fine,” Paige’s voice is steely, “just drive.”

Azzi opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, before simply nodding and starting the ignition. She’s clearly holding back and Paige doesn’t know how to feel about it. There’s a part of her that wants Azzi to push her to talk like she would before, but there's another part of her that knows this new rope they’re trying to string between them is fragile. 

They ride in silence to Azzi’s apartment, both of them too caught up in their own thoughts to bother with music this time. As the UCLA campus nears, Paige can’t help but hate it just a little bit. She’s aware she’s being petty. Acting like Storrs, Connecticut is some hub of beauty is probably a stretch of the imagination for anyone but she’s determined to dislike this place out of principle.

“Hmm not too shabby but like where’s the fucking cows?” Paige jokes, as the car comes to a stop in front of Azzi’s apartment building. She steps out gingerly, pretending to inspect her surroundings, making tsk-tsk noises at the most random things. 

“I’ve seen your apartment Bueckers, don’t even try,” Azzi retorts. 

It shouldn’t surprise Paige to see one of Azzi’s teammates when they enter her living room. It’s just like UConn really in the sense that there’s always someone there when you walk in but something about seeing Charisma Osborne just chilling in Azzi’s space suddenly makes it more real that the younger girl is definitely a UCLA Bruin. 

“Oh,” Charisma gives Paige a once-over, clearly not having expected to see her, “hi Paige.”

Paige waves, shuffling her weight on her crutches, unsure what to say. It’s not like she doesn’t know Charisma, they’ve literally won a gold medal together for USA basketball. She’s even met the girl a couple of times after and she likes her, she does. But her bitter brain is focused on the fact that this is one of those girls who had gotten Azzi as their teammate, one of the girls who got to see Azzi everyday. All things Paige had not gotten. 

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing company Az,” Charisma says pointedly, looking at Azzi and Paige bristles at the use of the nickname. She’s being all sorts of ridiculous but at least she’s self-aware of it. 

“Last minute decisions,” Azzi replies airily. The two girls lock eyes and Paige can tell they’re having some sort of unspoken conversation and now the green-eyed envy monster is out in full force. 

“I insisted on seeing her dorm,” she says finally, breaking into whatever staring competition the two UCLA guards are having. 

“It’s not a problem,” Charisma reassures, standing up from her position on the couch, and coming over to give Paige a tentative hug, “I just didn’t know you were coming. But it’s good to see you, Paige.”

“Yeah,” Paige tries to muster up a proper smile as she leans in to return the hug but it comes out more like a grimace, “you too.”

“We’re gonna go chill in my room,” Azzi says, beckoning to one of the doors in the hallways and Paige obediently follows her, waving a half-hearted goodbye to Charisma. She’s secretly pleased to have Azzi back to herself. 

The room is nothing out of the ordinary except it has Azzi all over it. She’s in the pink comforter that is thrown haphazardly over a clearly not made bed. She’s in the unicorn plushies laid delicately over a dark blue couch. She’s in the little flower stickers that outline the mirror on the far side of the room. There’s a wall dedicated solely to pictures and fairy lights on one side and Paige is immediately drawn to it. A familiar ache reverberates in her chest as her eyes flicker over the pictures of Azzi’s family. She’s missed them. Then there’s the photographs of Azzi in her UCLA uniform, her teammates surrounding her and Paige has to resist the dangerous urge to rip those off the wall. Be happy for her happiness, the logical part of her brain yells, not seeming to realise she’d left any chance of that in the dirt a year ago. As she tears her eyes away from those offending pictures, they land instead on a whole other set of photographs and she feels her heart catch in her throat. 

It’s a set of three images of her and Azzi, taken at various moments. Paige brushes her thumb against the one of the two of them with their arms around each other at the Minnesota  state fair. Azzi’s beaming at the camera and Paige is beaming at Azzi. They look so young, so naive, so happy. 

“I’m on your wall,” Paige breathes out, turning to face her best friend, “Fuck, I’m on you wall.”

“Of course you are,” Azzi affirms, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world but she shuffles nervously, giving away the reality behind her stable demeanour. 

“I never answered your texts. I didn’t call you back,” Paige lists quietly as the first tear falls from her eyes; she’s been holding them back all day, “and I’m on your fucking wall.”

Azzi looks away, unsure how to deal with the fact that apparently they’re no longer tip-toeing around the past. She doesn’t know how to tell the blonde that there had never really been a second thought about whether or not those photos were going up on the wall.

“Doesn’t matter,” she shrugs finally, “you’re my best friend. You’re always gonna be my best friend. Ride or die right?”

“Ride or die,” Paige repeats in a whisper before she all but throws herself at Azzi, practically moulding herself into the younger girl’s body. Caught off guard, Azzi stiffens for a second, before relaxing into it. It’s late outside and the sun has set, but in this moment, the world shines the brightest it has in a year as two stubborn girls finally find their way home to each other. 

***

That night, Azzi asks her tentatively if she wants to stay over and of course Paige agrees. Lying awake next to a familiar stranger, she lets herself finally remember the day things had first started unravelling.

November 2020

“You’ll probably get one of the upstairs apartments, so we probably won’t actually be living together which is good because can you imagine if I had to see your goofy ass 24/7?” Paige puts a dramatic hand to her forehead, as she leads Azzi into her room.

She’s too caught up in her excitement having Azzi at UConn, and planning what’ll happen next year, to notice that the girl in question isn’t participating at all in her enthusiasm. Paige has been waiting for what feels like a year (in reality it’s only been a few months) to finally have her best friend come visit. The minute the car had pulled up, she’d taken it upon herself to start her sales pitch all over again, missing the sympathetic smiles she’d gotten from the rest of the Fudd family as she pulled Azzi away to show her the glories of the campus. 

“Did you see my assist to Christyn today?” Paige gloats, falling onto her bed with a smirk. 

“It was pretty great,” Azzi concedes. 

“It was fucking perfect thank you very much. I set her up perfectly, exactly how she likes it.”

“Right.”

“And then did you see how excited the team was for her? For everyone? Never gonna find a greater group of girls.”

“They seem wonderful P.”

Paige furrows her eyebrows as she catches Azzi still lingering by the door instead of joining her on the bed. The brunette fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater, chewing on her lips.

“Are you allergic to my bed?” Paige waits for some smartass response. When she doesn’t get one, she frowns, instincts going haywire, “Az, you good?”

“I- '' Azzi looks away, swallowing nervously, “I need to tell you something and I- I’m not sure how you’re gonna react.” 

“You get a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something in the last few months that I don’t know about?” She says it light-heartedly enough, but the thought of it sends a sharp sting through Paige’s heart. In hindsight, she thinks maybe she could have dealt with it having been that. 

“What? No. Just- just don’t- dont take it personally okay. Like you can be upset about it but- but don’t hold it against me yeah? My parents- they said- they said you’d get it. You’d be upset but you’d- you’d get it because you- you get me right?”

Paige’s chest hammers as she watches the younger girl draw in a deep breath, “you’re scaring the shit out of me right now.”

“I’mcommittingtoUCLA” Azzi says all in one breath, the words blending together. 

She’s sure she’s heard it wrong. There’s no way. After all this time, after all their conversations, all the pitches, how hard she had worked, there was no way this was going to be the end to all of Paige’s efforts. 

“What?” she whispers, crossing her fingers that she has in fact misheard. 

When Azzi averts her eyes, she knows she hasn’t, “I’m committing to UCLA.”

The first time Paige and Azzi met was somewhat awkward, what with Azzi’s shyness and Paige being slightly overeager to make a new friend. When they’d become bus buddies, they’d progressed to being casual acquaintances who could small talk and share smiles. And then the flight back to Minnesota happened and everything had changed. Every moment after was filled with conversation or laughs or a comfortable silence. Until this one, where the sudden silence between them foreshadows an ominous future.

“Say something,” Azzi says finally, her voice shaking. 

Paige stares at her for a second before, “you named your dog Stewie.”

“What?”

“You named your dog Stewie. After Breanna Stewart who played at UConn. It’s not-” Paige wracks her brain, hands flying animatedly “it’s not Meyers or something, after someone who played at fucking UCLA. You named your dog after a UConn great. How are you going to take him to UCLA with you?”

Azzi stares at her, clearly not having expected that level of questioning of all things. Who could blame her when Paige herself feels a little insane. 

“This is a joke right? You’re fucking with me? Ha ha ha very funny,” she claps deliriously,  “hilarious prank seriously, like hats off you’ve outdone yourself but enough okay? Say sike right fucking now.”

Azzi makes a strangled noise, “it’s not a joke Paige. That’s- that’s my decision.”

“Then change it,” Paige yells, catapulting off the bed.

“Paige-”

“Have you told UCLA yet?”

“I wanted to tell my family and you first.”

“Oh wow, how kind of you. How fucking generous of you to do that Azzi,” Paige bites back sarcastically and Azzi flinches. 

In a flash, Paige’s expression goes from angry to desperate, “you still have time to change your mind . Please just- just think about it again okay? You still have so much time and you know what, stay here for a couple more days. Spend time with the team, with the coaches, with me and you’ll see-. UCLA just sounds nice you know? California, the sun, I get it, of course it’s tempting. But just- just stay here okay? And you’ll see this is where you belong,” she leaves the, with me, unsaid. 

“Paige,” Azzi’s voice cracks. She takes a step toward her and then pauses. It’s the first time in a long time that Azzi’s hesitated when it comes to Paige. It won’t be the last. And when she looks at Paige through her long eyelashes, tears threatening to fall from her dark brown eyes, Paige knows she’s lost. 

“No,” she’s pacing now, chest heaving up and down in a combination of frustration, anger and misery, “this is not fucking happening. We’re not doing this. I made you a whole recruitment video. Did you watch it? Do you know how long it took me to make it? Has the last year been a fucking joke to you?”

“Of course not-”

“Don’t even. Because clearly- clearly it has. Must’ve been hilarious watching me beg and plead with you when you already fucking knew you were going to committ somewhere else.”

“That’s not fair,”  Azzi’s voice rises at the accusation, “I had no idea where I was going until a couple of weeks ago. You can’t seriously think that low of me.”

“Not fair? You know what’s not fair, Azzi? We’ve been talking about playing together, about finally being on the same team, the same fucking state, for years. What’s not fair is you throwing all of that away on a whim.”

“I’m not committing to UCLA on a whim. This is my whole future we’re talking about. You don’t even know how much thought I’ve put into it. And I’m choosing what’s best for me. You can’t hold that against me Paige. You can’t.”

They stand on opposite sides of the room, taking in harsh staggered breaths and glaring at each other. The tension in the room is electric as the string connecting them frays. Paige and Azzi bicker, they don’t argue. Or at least, that’s how it used to be. 

“Az?” their stare down is broken by a knock on the door as Katie Fudd lets herself in. Immediately, as she stares between her daughter and the girl who’d become just as important, Katie knows what has happened, “we’re going back to the air BnB, are you staying here?”

The answer should be obvious, like it used to be. Of course she would stay here. It was meant to be a no-brainer. But before Azzi can say that, Paige intervenes and the string snaps. 

“She’s going with you,” the blonde says firmly, before turning her back. She won’t let Azzi see the tears, she won’t. For her part, the brunette stares at Paige’s back silently for a couple of seconds, before a mask of determination slips on. 

“Fine. If that’s what you fucking want,” Azzi sneers before brushing past her mom, eager to get away and hide her own tears. 

When Paige turns back around, Katie is already looking at her. The older woman walks the length of the room and pulls the younger girl into a hug that she readily melts into. Paige sniffles as Azzi’s mom soothingly rubs her back. 

“We’re driving back tomorrow morning,” Katie whispers quietly into Paige’s hair, “I know you’re mad sweetheart but come say goodbye okay?”

And she does. She shows up with only half an hour or so remaining before Azzi leaves, but Paige shows up. They hug stiffly, exchanging maybe a sentence or two but in that moment it’s enough. They’ll call later when Azzi gets home and it’ll be awkward for a little bit but they’ll break through. They’ll figure out a way to go on without having to talk about the “big thing”. They’ll hold on as long as they can, until they can’t anymore. 

***

September 2022

After the night Paige stays over at Azzi’s apartment, they're attached at the hip for the next few weeks, just like old times. They’ve fallen into a routine of sorts. Azzi shows up without fail every day after practice to pick Paige up from her rehab, and then the rest of the younger girl’s time is Paige’s. The first time she’d seen the brunette leaning casually against her car, Paige had had to stop herself from jumping into her arms. She’d played it as nonchalant as possible, joking about Azzi being stalker, but inside, she could feel it again, the dangerously familiar tap of this is all I’ll ever need. 

On days Paige doesn’t have rehab, Azzi still shows up right on time on her doorstep with a board game or food or something.  It’s gotten to the point where every time the doorbell rings, Paige opens it expecting Azzi. The couple times it’s not, she tries and fails to hide the disappointment on her face. It earns her an eye roll from the delivery guy but it’s worth it for the laugh it elicits from Azzi when she tells her the story. They fall back together as if they’d never fallen apart. And what’s more terrifying than finding out that she’d never truly gotten over old Azzi, is realising how easy it would be to fall in love with new Azzi. 

When Caroline, Nika and Piath come to visit the weekend after, all three of them can immediately tell that something's changed. Their teammate seems lighter, as if she’s finally found a sense of calm. But their incessant prodding and raised eyebrows are only met with shrugs from a tight-lipped Paige. It isn’t until Azzi calls, and Nika snatches the phone out of Paige’s hands, gasping at the callerID, that they finally figure out why their point guard has a new kick in her step. 

“You should invite her out with us tonight,” Caroline is the first to speak, giving Paige an encouraging smile. 

“Carol,” Nika hisses, “we can’t just invite the enemy.”

“She’s not the enemy,” Paige defends immediately, “we don’t even have a rivalry with UCLA.”

Nika scoffs indignantly, “of course she is. She picked a different school over us. Over UConn! That’s weird. Who even does that?”

“Lots of people do,” Caroline, who occasionally texts Azzi (albeit she’s kept that somewhat of a secret), supplies helpfully, shrugging when the Croatian glares at her. 

Piath nudges Paige when she notices the other girl has gone quiet, “ignore Nika. She doesn’t mean it, you know that. If you wanna invite her, invite her.” 

And she does, she wants to so badly. It’s insane really because it hasn’t even been a full day since they’d last seen each other but Paige swears something inside her has been missing since. There’s something awfully terrifying about letting Azzi back into the UConn version of her world, the world that the younger girl had once rejected. Still, if they’re going to try this again, she supposes sooner or later, it’ll have to happen. 

“Put her on speaker,” Nika orders when Paige grabs her phone back from her. 

“Nika,” Caroline, younger only by age, warns, pulling the other girl away, “we’re supposed to be cheering her up, not making life harder.”

Azzi answers on the third ring, her voice teasing  “miss me already?”

Yes, Paige thinks, sometimes I think I miss you even when you’re right here next to me, sometimes I think I’ll miss you forever. But she doesn’t say any of that. 

“Not a chance,” she scoffs instead, “besides you called me first.”

“Butt dial.”

“Mmmhmm I’m sure.”

“Shut up,” Azzi laughs and Paige is glad her teammates aren’t here to see the goofy grin that appears on her face at the sound of it, “I just wanted to see if we were doing something tonight?”

“Yeah- umm- you remember I told you about the girls coming down this weekend. They- uh- they wanted to go out tonight and uh- you could come along?” 

There’s a pause on the other end and Paige knows Azzi’s going through the same thought process as her. 

“I don’t wanna intrude on your time with your team P-”

“You wouldn’t be intruding,” Paige cuts in immediately and although she figured her teammates were definitely eavesdropping, Nika cursing about her being “pussywhipped” followed by in-sync shushing from Piath and Caroline, gives them away. 

On the other end of the line, Azzi’s quiet again, “it’s okay P, you go have fun with your friends. We don’t have to spend every night together. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

What she doesn’t say is that maybe they need to learn how to live like that again, how to live apart again. Paige is almost done with the LA part of her rehab, something both of them are still in denial about. It’s only a matter of time before they return back to their two separate worlds and neither of them are sure they’ve managed to repair their friendship enough to not slip back into their foolishness again. 

“But I wanna see you tonight,” Paige whines, her tone teetering on the edge of sounding like a desperate girlfriend, “please.”

“Paige-”

“Pleaseeeeeee. I’m literally injured and begging Az, it’d be mean to say no.”

“What does your injury even have to do with any of this?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly, “but yeah okay fine calm down Bueckers. Send me an address, I’ll be there.”

“You don’t wanna come pregame here?” 

“Dude, let's not push it, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah okay see you,” Paige pauses, “hey Az?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really happy you’re coming tonight.”

“I’m really happy you’re happy P.”

***

Azzi Fudd is a menace. See, people often get fooled by her soft-spoken nature and shy demeanour, but Paige has been around her long enough to know the truth. In the beginning it was the witty quips the younger girl always had ready whenever they were having some ridiculous argument. After that, it was the direct pranks that wreaked havoc on Paige’s life. But tonight, in Paige’s opinion, tonight is Azzi��s worst offence. She had to have done it on purpose, had to have known the sheer effect it would have on Paige to see her dressed like that. The red criss-cross tank top fits her like a mould and the way her ripped jeans shorts cling to her hips leaves little to the imagination. Her diamond belly button piercing shines against her skin, taunting Paige. She wants to touch, she wants to feel, she wants to do all the unspeakable things in her mind but she’s forced to just watch. 

What she hates most though, is that everybody else is watching too. Since Azzi’s walked into the club, Paige has had to fight the urge to strangle every stranger who had given her best friend an appraising once-over. Some of them let their eyes linger long enough to give her time to plot out the perfect murder strategy (it’s the only way she can stop herself from actually committing a crime tonight). And, as Azzi dances with Caroline, hips swaying to the beat and holding the other girl a little closely, Paige has the irrational urge to hit sweet, kind Caroline of all people. 

The thing is, Azzi’s been a little too attached to Caroline since she got here in Paige’s opinion. And she gets it. Piath, bless her soul, is trying but has always been a little awkward around new people. Nika is definitely not trying, loyally holding onto a grudge on behalf of Paige. Which leaves Caroline, who’s already familiar territory and the younger girl has grasped onto her like a lifeline. But enough is enough Paige decides, as she slips out of her seat with a determined look. Smoothly, she cuts right in between Caroline and Azzi.

“Nika’s a little wasted and I don’t want to deal with,” it’s a blatant lie but Paige knows appealing to Caroline’s more motherly instincts will get her what she wants. She gets a raised eyebrow in return, her teammate clearly catching her ruse because Nika looks visibly fine. But it works anyway and Paige gets Azzi to herself. She reaches for the other girl’s hand, twirling her just so she can hear that stupid silly laugh, and then pulling her back so she’s facing Paige. 

“You having fun?” 

“Always have fun with you P,” Azzi replies. She’s clearly tipsy but there’s no hint of insincerity in her voice. It makes Paige’s breath hitch. 

“Yeah?” she whispers, taking a step closer, “more than with Carol?”

Azzi giggles, “more than anyone.”

The song in the club changes and as the crowd adjusts to it, someone jostles Azzi and immediately Paige grabs at her hips to steady her. As she finds her balance, Azzi’s giggles subside, realising just how close she is to the blonde now. They’re stuck in slow motion as the world dances around them. The combination of adrenaline and alcohol pumping through her veins is what convinces Paige to test the limits. One hand still squeezing at Azzi’s bare waist, revelling in finally getting to touch, she brings up her thumb to trace around Azzi’s lips. The younger girl gulps, but when she doesn’t try to move away, confidence pulses through Paige. Her heart is beating frantically out of her chest, years and years of want and need that she’d shoved as far away as possible, desperately fighting to get to the surface. 

Pushing herself closer, so their chests are now pressed to each other and Azzi’s hands have no choice but to latch onto her biceps, Paige places a delicate, teasing kiss to the corner of Azzi’s lips. She wishes she could record the whine it elicits and listen to it on loop for hours. Smirking, she moves to place another one on the other side, this time pressing her lips a little harder, a little longer. Azzi’s eyes are closed shut, hands gripping onto Paige so tightly, she knows there’ll be a mark on her biceps tomorrow. She cups Azzi’s face with both hands now, her own eyes shutting involuntarily, as she finally, finally brushes their lips together. 

This time, the strangled noise that leaves Azzi’s throat, is one Paige wishes she could forget as the younger girl rips herself away from Paige, the force of it creating almost a foot of distance between them. It doesn’t take long for the familiar sting of rejection to make itself home in her heart. Azzi’s eyes are brimming with tears as she manically shakes her head. Without a word, she rushes through the crowd, making a beeline for the exit, leaving Paige confused and craving for another taste. 

***

It takes Paige a second to gather her thoughts before following the brunette. She ignores the confused glances from her teammates, making some bullshit excuse about fresh air as she fights her way outside. When she gets there, Azzi’s leaning against the wall, eyes closed as she takes in long deep breaths. 

“That’s not usually how girls react when I try to kiss them,” Paige says after a second, trying to make light of the situation, even if her heart is heavy with anxiety. 

It’s the wrong thing to say because Azzi scoffs, “you kiss a lot of girls don’t you.”

“Yeah and most of them kiss me back,” Paige bites back. 

She’s taken aback by the fire in the darker-skinned girl’s eyes as Azzi finally opens them, heaving herself off the wall. 

“I won’t be one of your groupies Paige. I won’t be one of your desperate one night stands. I won’t be just some other hookup. I won’t!”

Frankly she’s a little offended Azzi would even think that of her. She’s aware of her reputation. In fact she’d probably fed into it a little bit, exaggerating her escapades to Azzi on the phone her freshman year, when they had been on the verge of combusing and she’d been desperate to get a rise out of the younger girl. Last year though, last year was different. But Azzi doesn’t know that. 

“I don’t want you to be any of that,” she replies feebly. 

“Then what, do you want me to be?” Azzi’s voice rises with each syllable. 

Paige stutters, the words getting stuck in her throat. The truth is she wants Azzi to be everything. The truth is, Azzi already is everything. Except there’s too much between them and she just can’t say it. They stand in silence until Azzi finally breaks it.

“I think these last few weeks of summer might have been the best of my life,” she says miserably, “and that might be the worst thing ever you know? Because it’s not real. You’re gonna go back to your world and you’ll- you’ll stop replying to my texts and you’ll stop- you’ll stop calling me and I- I don’t know if I can do that again.”

“That’s an awful lot of assumptions you’re making about me,” Paige is on defensive mode now, feeling a fight brewing. 

“Because that’s what happened. Go back through your fucking phone Paige. Look at all the times I tried. And all the times you never did. You just- you cut me out Paige.”

“That’s not fair. You chose fucking UCLA. Over me.”

“No,” Azzi corrects immediately, anger seeping into her tone, “I chose UCLA over UConn. You made it about yourself.”

Paige swallows back a bitter response in favour of trying to prevent a full-fledged argument, “okay, okay let’s not- let’s not do this okay. It’ll be better this time- I- I won’t ignore your calls or texts or you okay? Just- can we just go back inside please?”

“That’s the thing,” Azzi’s anger is gone, replaced by a sad wistful smile, “I don’t know if I believe that you will,” a single tear rolls down her cheek, “I- I don’t fully trust you and you haven’t fully forgiven me. So where do we go from here?”

It’s a lie what they say about the truth setting you free, Paige thinks as Azzi’s words squeeze at her heart, because all it’s done is unleash shackles of despair that holds them both hostage. It had been easy the last couple of weeks, to pretend the last year had never happened. It had been easy for Paige to pretend that she was over what happened, to ignore the part of her brain that still felt so utterly betrayed. 

“Azzi, what are you saying? You don’t- you don’t wanna be friends?” Paige feels nauseous even saying it. 

“No I-” Azzi chews at her bottom lip, “I’m saying this- us- we’re too fragile to complicate even more. I barely- fuck- Paige, I barely survived losing my best friend. I don’t think I could survive losing something more.” 

The worst thing about it all, is that it makes sense. And really, Paige doesn’t know what she’d expected to happen if Azzi hadn’t pulled away when she did. They’d kiss, maybe give in and do more and then what? Shake hands and walk away? Or make false promises that would ultimately lead to resentment? No, Years and years of something deserved better than either of those masochistic endings. It makes sense, it does but it doesn’t mean Paige has to like it. 

In front of her, all the fight evaporates from Azzi’s body, as the younger girl leans back against the brick wall of the club, sliding down and pulling her knees to her chest. She looks every bit as miserable as Paige feels and all the blonde wants to do is wipe away the stress lines creasing against the younger girl’s beautiful phase. She moves to sit down next to her best friend, shuffling so their shoulders are pressed together and intertwines their fingers together. A sigh of relief escapes her when Azzi doesn’t immediately pull away. Instead, she squeezes their hands tighter, as if she’s scared that if she lets go, Paige will disappear. 

“You didn’t lose me you know,” Paige says softly after a second, nudging Azzi’s shoulder when the other girl lets out a noise of protest, “I know, I know it feels like you did. It felt like that to me too except- every time something good or bad happened to me, I heard your voice or- or maybe I just really wanted too. We got lost a little bit but I didn’t- I didn’t lose you and you didn’t lose me. There’s a difference. I don’t think we could ever lose each other like that. Not really.”

When Azzi turns to look at her, the golden glow of the street lights illuminate the emotions in her eyes. She gives Paige a soft smile, “well Bueckers, if basketball doesn’t work out, maybe you have a future in poetry.”

“I could do whatever I wanted,” except what I want to do the most. 

It doesn’t take long for the Uber Azzi’s already called to start pulling up and that familiar ache of longing creeps into Paige’s spine. She knows tonight isn’t their final goodbye; they still have a couple more days. But those days will be spent ignoring and pretending, unlike tonight and the firm grip they have on reality. They rise off of the cold pavement together, dusting themselves off. It takes a second of awkward glances before they’re surging into each other’s arms, squeezing each other so tightly that it’s hard to breathe. Paige wills herself not to cry, hiding her face in the crook of Azzi’s neck. 

“We’ll be okay,” she whispers, unsure if it’s more for her benefit or Azzi’s. 

The unwanted beep of a car is the only reason they reluctantly pull away, hurriedly wiping away unshed tears, they pretend the other can’t see. Azzi musters up a brave smile, before slowly moving away and it takes everything in Paige not to crumble and begs her to stay. Azzi’s halfway to the car when she turns back and it feels like Paige can breathe again. The brunette’s face is conflicted for a second before turning determined, as she starts walking back up. 

“Az-”

Paige’s confusion is stifled as Azzi fists her shirt, pulling her into a searing kiss. It’s desperate and needy and it’s only a few seconds before the dark-haired girl is pulling away again, but it sets Paige’s entire world off balance. 

“I just-” Azzi’s breathing is rapid and uneven, “I’ve wanted to do that since I was fifteen and- just- fuck- I just-,” she blinks up at Paige, “I hate- I hate leaving things unfinished and for fucks sake if you don’t call me back this time Bueckers- just- don’t be a stranger.”

Paige doesn’t get time to answer, she doesn’t think she could even if she did, because Azzi scurries away almost immediately. She stops when she gets to the car, turning back to give Paige one final look, a look that will haunt Paige forever, before getting into the backseat. As Paige watches the back of Azzi’s uber gets smaller and smaller, her tongue darts across her lips as she tries to memorise the faintest taste of Azzi’s strawberry-flavoured lipstick. And she knows, she’s so utterly and completely and terribly fucked.

[halsteadlover]

Under Fire

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Paramedic!Reader.

• Requested by anon: Hey! Could you write an imagine where the reader is a paramedic and one day a person starts shooting at the ambo and Jay is called? Then he would be worried when he sees the reader there.

• Warnings: mention of sex, blood, gunshot, bad writing (yes it’s gonna be a warning from now on).

• Word count: 4289.

• A/N: this is by far one of the ugliest fics ever and honestly I’m even ashamed I posted it. It didn’t turn the way I wanted but I was too lazy and had no time to write it all again so here it is 💀 Sorry for the ppl who expected a good worried!Jay fic 😭 I’m sorry for any mistake too and of course I know all the ‘medical’ staff was probably inaccurate so pls bear with me lol

“Baby, breakfast is ready!”.

Jay's voice muffled to your ears from the kitchen as you hurriedly got ready for work, super late. You tied your hair into a ponytail, not wanting to waste any more time trying to fix it before running to the kitchen where Jay had just set breakfast on the table.

“I'm late honey I can't eat,” you said frantically, leaning closer to him and kissing him on the lips before stealing a waffle which you popped into your mouth and began to eat as you looked for your car keys.

“Babe you can't go to work without having breakfast,” Jay retorted as he drank his cup of coffee and watched you amused.

“Yeah? And whose fault is it that I’m late?” you asked ironically “Have you seen my keys baby? Damn it… I can't find them anywhere.”

Jay chuckled and there was no need to say he found them as soon as he started to search for them. He was about to hand them to you but suddenly put his hands behind his back. “I want a kiss first.”

You giggled like a little girl and placed your free hand on his face, kissing him passionately, as if it was the first time you'd seen him in ages. No matter how much time passed, Jay managed to have on you the same effect as the first day, and for a moment, lost in your senses, you almost forgot you had to run away to work.

“Mmmh,” he murmured into the kiss, intensifying it as his arm went around your waist, pressing your body further against his.

“Stop…” you muttered between kisses as you giggled “No,” one kiss “That’s not…” another kiss “Fair…” and yet another one. “You’ve already made me late this morning.”

“Baby it's not my fault you're so stunning. You know I can't keep my hands to myself,” he kept kissing you, taking the opportunity to shamelessly squeeze your ass. “You were naked in our bed, you really expected me not to fuck the shit out of you?”.

“Stop, you're making me hot again,” you placed your hands on his chest to push him away, receiving a frown from him. In a moment of distraction you grabbed the keys from his hand and took your bag, before giving him one last sweet kiss and go to the door “See you tonight baby, I love you. Be careful okay?”.

“I love you too princess, text me when you can and be careful too. Don't you even dare come back with even a scratch!”.

But unfortunately, things don’t always go the way we want them to.

Your morning was going well, you were on shift with Sylvie who wasted no time teasing you, between calls, about being late that morning.

“If you're jealous because I'm having hot sex and you're not, just say it blondie,” you retorted laughing, getting from your co-worker a little slap on the back of your head as she kept her eyes on the road while driving the ambo.

“You’re really a bitch you know that? Of course I'm jealous! Do you know how long it's been since I've been with someone? I don't even know what a penis looks like anymore.”

You giggled. “If after every shift you literally fly home to go to sleep, don't complain if you can't find anyone. You need to go out Sylvie, Molly's is always crowded, you'll find someone who can't wait to rail you.”

She burst out laughing. “Rail me? Where did this come from?”.

“I mean… You know… I didn't know the meaning of these words before I met my boyfriend…” you answered and Sylvie let out a fake gag while you dreamily recalled your intense sexual life with Jay.

“You are disgusting,” the blonde replied even though she laughed. Before she could add anything though, there was a call of a shooting with victim and the joyful and playful air disappeared almost instantly.

You were about to text Jay, updating him on the progress of your shift but you mentally cursed as you noticed your cell phone was dead and that’s when you remembered you didn't charge it last night.

You put it back in your pocket, mental noting you’d charge it as soon as you got back to the station.

When you and Sylvie arrived with sirens blaring at the scene where the shooting had taken place, you couldn't help but notice the amount of people there looking on curiously and trying to figure out what was going on. That neighborhood was not the most idyllic and safe, given the unfortunate presence of criminals and drug addicts, and you mentally prayed you could finish as soon as possible since you didn't feel at all calm in that place.

A man in his fifties came running towards you, cell phone in hand and a terrified expression on his face.

“What happened sir? Where’s the victim?” Sylvie asked as you fetched the first aid kit bags.

“This way. There's been a shooting… There's a young man… I don't know if he's still alive.”

The man pointed to a person lying on the ground, immersed in his own blood and at a rough guess he didn't seem to be more than 16 years old. He was just a little boy.

“We'll take care of it from now sir. Thank you for calling us. Now go back in your house and stay safe,” you said and he nodded before storming off and locking himself inside his house along with his family.

You put on your gloves and leaned over the victim. You checked his carotid pulse and breathing. “He’s breathing and there is still a pulse. But it's too weak.”

Sylvie lifted the victim's shirt, revealing the shotgun at stomach level, and spun him on his side for a moment. “There is an exit wound.”

“I'm putting an IV,” you stated before taking the necessary kit while Sylvie controlled the bleeding by dabbing the wound with clean gauze which was soaked in blood in no time. After placing the tourniquet, it was difficult to find an accessible vein due to the copious blood loss but eventually you succeeded.

As you continued to do everything in your power to keep the still unconscious patient alive, you didn't realize all passers-by had left and that a suspicious car was approaching until the sound of a shot broke the silence.

Your heart stopped for an instant.

It all happened so fast and in just few seconds that you didn't even realize what was happening.

It was all so fast but so slow at the same time.

Everything seemed to stop around you, the world started spinning fast and slow at the same time which you didn't even believe was possible. The seconds seemed to have turned into minutes, hours, and in you kept wondering when it would end.

You and Sylvie threw yourselves to cover the victim, but not before a bullet went through your arm causing you to scream in pain. “Fuck!” you exclaimed as an excruciating pain made you bend to the ground for an instant.

“Y/N! Oh my god!” exclaimed Sylvie, rushing towards you regardless of the danger. Your hand covered your wound from where blood gushed and you tried to take a few breaths to try to regain control of yourself. You hadn't been shot at before by now, but damn it hurt like hell.

“I'm fine,” you murmured and when you opened your eyes you saw a woman lying on the ground not far from you. “Shit… Sylvie, go to that woman…”

Sylvie glanced between you and the poor woman lying on the asphalt, not sure what to do. “I am fine. Go! I'll take care of it here!”.

She nodded and grabbed a first aid bag before running to the woman, leaving you with the still unconscious victim. You checked him to make sure he wasn't hit and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw he wasn't.

You called for help on your radio before getting up with no small effort, dragging the victim behind a car, thus keeping you sheltered.

Your heart was pounding and you didn't know what to do, the fear they'd come back to kill you paralyzed you. You leaned against the car, bringing your eyes to the wound on your arm and noticing you were losing more blood than you would’ve expected.

“Shit,” you winched in pain even if the adrenaline rushed through your veins. You decided not to think about it and just treat the patient until help arrived, after all you weren't going to die from a shot in an arm.

You got up from the car and approached the patient, noticing the movement of his chest was no longer regular and that he was struggling to breathe. You took your stethoscope and listened to his chest, hearing crackles and a muffled sound in the right lung.

“Damn it,” you whispered to yourself, taking deep breaths as the pain became more intense and trying to focus solely on the victim and not on the excruciating pain you were feeling. The victim had a pneumothorax and you knew if you didn't treat it right away, you ran the risk of losing him before help even arrived.

You took all the kit needed to aspirate the air from his lung but your hand was shaking too much to be able to proceed. “Come on. You can do it,” you kept telling yourself and breathing deeply. With no little effort you managed to make a small incision and insert the small catheter to allow the air to escape. You listened to his lungs again after a bit with the stethoscope and breathed a sigh of relief when you realized the pulmonary sound was good and he was breathing properly. You fixed the catheter to his chest with a plaster and continued to treat the wound on the abdomen.

He was losing too much blood and if he hadn't gone to the hospital immediately he would’ve died there in front of you.

Your forehead was drenched in sweat, your arms and body were giving up as you noticed in the distance Sylvie giving a CPR to the woman who had presumably also been shot.

You heard the sound of sirens of the police and of another ambulance in the distance and for the first time in the last half hour your heart started properly beating again.

Jay, meanwhile, didn't have a clue what was going on, that you'd been shot, rushed to the hospital, or he’d completely lose his mind.

His day, unlike yours, was going on normally and no new cases had turned up so he spent the morning sorting through paperwork and old reports that were still incomplete.

He checked his cell phone to see if you'd answered him but still nothing. The last time he knew about you was when he saw you walk out the door of the apartment you shared and he couldn't stop the veil of anxiety that had passed through him. He knew he was exaggerating, as you were most likely having a busy morning and for this reason you hadn’t reached out to him.

He tried to keep his mind at bay, to stay calm and tell himself everything would be fine, that you were okay and he’d hear from you soon.

But when he saw Sylvie's name on the screen as his cell phone rang, he knew immediately that something wasn’t right and the slight feeling of anxiety was replaced by a real vice in his stomach.

“Sylvie? What happened? Is my girlfriend okay?” he asked as soon as he answered the call, without even giving her time to say anything. He knew something was up and didn’t want to waist time.

“Jay…” she breathed out, her voice clearly shaking but Jay couldn't care less.

“Sylvie tell me immediately what the hell happened. Where’s Y/N? Is she okay?” he ordered in a harsh and hostile tone, more than he ever wanted to.

“We are at Med's and…”

That was all it took for him to go crazy and not understand anything anymore.

Before she could finish her sentence he had already hung up the phone and, without even notifying his boss, he exited the unit at lightning speed, under the gaze of his worried and astonished teammates.

His mind kept repeating the last words spoken by Sylvie and never as in that moment did he feel like the world completely collapsed on him. He hadn't even asked what happened, whether you were okay or not, and as he drove like a madman through the streets of Chicago, he kept praying, praying and praying.

“God please let her be okay,” he kept muttering to himself, his heart pounding so hard in his chest he felt like it was going to stop at any moment. He tried to call you several times but each time it directed him to your voicemail. “Fuck!” he had exclaimed hitting the steering wheel in frustration and after throwing the cell phone on the passenger seat, without caring whether it broke or not.

You had to be okay, it couldn't have been otherwise. You had to be okay because you had to spend the rest of your life with him, he had to marry you, start a family with you, raise your children, maybe have pets, and to do that you had to feel good.

Jay knew that your job, as well as his, could be dangerous, but that didn't make the anxiety any less oppressive, the fear of losing you any less crippling.

It might seem like an exaggeration but he couldn't live without you, he couldn't imagine a life in which you weren't there, he couldn't imagine coming home and not finding you there preparing dinner with so much care and love, he couldn't imagine coming home and not finding you walking barefoot, the music blasting while you danced and sang as you cleaned the house, he couldn't imagine waking up in the morning and not feeling your body against his, the scent of your hair entering his nostrils, your arms holding him preventing him from getting up to go to work when you weren't on shift.

“No, no, no, no, no,” he babbled not wanting to even think about this possibility as he darted through the streets without even bothering to stop at red lights and risking causing accidents at least a couple of times.

When he got to the hospital he immediately ran towards the nurses' station, failing even to realize that Maggie was already talking to a patient.

“Maggie where is Y/N? Is she fine?” he asked frantically getting a glare from the gentleman who was previously talking to Maggie. She shot an apologetic look at the man and nodded to the room you were in before giving her attention back to the patient.

Jay ran towards the room and without even thinking twice pulled the curtain away, an expression of pure fear and concern on his face. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw you were lying on the crib, alive.

“Jay!” you exclaimed, not expecting to find your boyfriend in front of you in the hospital, lifting yourself up as if to reach him.

“Y/N stay still,” Connor admonished you, who was tending your wound.

“Oh thank God,” Jay finally managed to calm down and finally breathe again. He walked over to you and gently grabbed your face with his still trembling hands, leaving a kiss on your forehead. It lasted longer than it should’ve but Jay didn't care, he just wanted to savor the moment, smell the scent of your hair, your skin, and realize you were really there in front of him, that you hadn't left him.

“Halstead, you shouldn't be here,” Connor commented without looking up from the bullet hole in your arm.

“Shut up Rhodes, just focus about treating her,” Jay retorted and the serious tone in which he said it caused both you and Connor to chuckle but as soon as you looked at him you stopped immediately, noticing the expression of pain and concern with which he was looking at you.

“What happened baby? My God…” he stroked your face, your hair, “Why didn't you call me? What did they do to you?”. His eyes moved from your features to your arm and he immediately knew it was a bullet hole. He had assumed that you’d been pushed, maybe fallen somewhere, but he hadn't thought it was a shot at all.

Anxiety and worry were quickly replaced by anger and rage and in that precise moment he promised himself he’d make the bastard who had done this to you, who had dared to hurt you, pay.

“I told Sylvie not to call you…” you started talking, not answering Jay's questions but he cut you off, “Y/N please… I'm mad enough you didn't call me and I had to hear from your colleague you ended up in the hospital, don’t even think about making jokes right now.”

“Sorry Jay, it's just… You were at work and I didn't want to worry you. I'm fine as you can see and Connor will fix me.”

“You're not fine,” Connor intervened, glancing at you before continuing to treat the wound “If you hadn't continued to treat the victim your arm wouldn't be in so bad shape, the bullet had gone too deep. But luckily I'm very good at my job.”

If looks could kill, you should’ve been petrified after Jay's glare.

“Connor, you really don't know when to shut your mouth, do you?”.

“Y/N,” Jay spoke up “I'm not playing and I'm about to lose my mind. Tell me what the hell happened.”

You sighed, looking down at your belly as you recalled those moments of terror that seemed to have happened not long ago but at the same time, so long ago.

Jay noticed the way your free hand was shaking slightly and he felt guilty for raising his voice after the traumatic event you had suffered earlier that morning. “Sorry baby,” he said, caressing your cheeks and then giving you another soft kiss on your forehead. He held you as best he could, your head level with his stomach as he continued to stroke your hair, your cheeks, trying to calm you down. It was his way of saying he was there, that you were safe and never like then did you mentally thank Sylvie for calling him.

“It’s okay, I’m here now. Everything will be okay baby.”

God only knew how terrified you were, how afraid you were of dying, never seeing the love of your life again, never hugging him again and feeling him holding you, cradling and caressing you… Shit, this was one of the best feelings you ever had the pleasure of trying in your life.

You kept thinking over and over of those scary moments, the sound of those gunshots you knew would echo in your mind for far too long. No manual, no course would’ve ever prepared you for all this, you knew that being a paramedic would’ve taken you to places where danger was around the corner, but the adrenaline, the fear, that terror… No one would’ve ever been able to preparing for this.

You didn't even realize Connor had finished bandaging your wound until you saw with the corner of your eye he was getting up and collecting all the dirty gauze and other tools he had used. “I can't stress enough about the fact you don't have to exert yourself. You have to rest for at least a week, after that you can do some office work, but no work on the field until you’ll be able to move your arm.”

“Trust me she won’t. Thanks Rhodes,” Jay replied and Connor gave him a smile, then patted him on the shoulder with an ungloved hand.

“I'll leave you two alone.”

You tried to move you arm a bit but it was still numb from the local anesthetic. Jay sat on the edge of the bed, taking your free hand and intertwining his fingers with yours as his thumb stroked your back.

“You made me worry to death you know? I think I've died and risen a thousand times in the last hour.” He was the one who spoke first, but his tone was soft and reassuring. His free hand stroked your face, tucking a strand of hair that had escaped your ponytail, behind your ear.

“I'm so sorry Jay,” you mumbled back, feeling awfully guilty to see him like this, features contracted up with concern, eyes shining.

“You don't have to apologize, I'm just so happy you're okay,” he hugged you and you returned that hug, with your free arm. “God Y/N, I wouldn't have known what to do without you. I've never been so scared as today...” he kept talking “Don't ever do this to me again.”

“I was so scared Jay… I…” you stammered, trying to swallow the lump in your throat “I thought I'd never see you again…”

“Shh, it's okay. I'm here now and you're safe, I won't let anyone hurt you anymore,” he tried to calm you down even if he was feeling a storm inside. He was angry, furious, because he wasn't there to protect you, because if he had the person responsible in his hands he would’ve killed them with his bare hands, because he hated seeing you like that, scared, trembling in his arms. And he wanted to cry, cry so hard, because the fear he'd had of losing you was paralyzing.

Jay had never been in a situation where he’d even think you weren't next to him. To him it was like you were a superhero, immortal, that one way or another you'd always come back to him and he had taking all of this for granted. Reality had hit him full blown and left him breathless, making him lose the ground under his feet, the world collapsing around him and made him understand it wasn't like this, that fate was sometimes a bastard and that only event made him realize how important you were to him. Maybe even more than he could have ever imagined.

How much he loved you, for goodness sake, it was overwhelming. You were his whole world, and however absurd, ridiculous, cheesy, or over the top that might seem, Jay really couldn't live without you. It was a phrase he had told you so many times but in that particular absurd event it took on an even deeper and more real meaning and he really, really couldn't exist in a world where you weren't by his side.

And he didn't care how cheesy any of that sounded, it was the plain, simple, unequivocal truth.

“Baby you're choking me,” you muttered as he began to hold you so tight it literally blocked your breath. Your voice brought him back to reality, “Shit. Sorry, baby I didn't realize it,” he said giving you a kiss on the lips and you smiled at him, “It's okay.”

“Are you okay? Do you need something?”.

You shook your head, your lids suddenly feeling heavy. “No, just some rest.”

Jay smiled sweetly, looking at you with so much love and affection. “I know baby, I know. As soon as they prepare the discharge documents, I'll take you home and you can rest as long as you want.”

You nodded and the tender expression on your face made his heart explode. Had he already said how much he fucking loved you? “You'll stay with me right? I need you.”

“Do you really think I would’ve left you alone knowing what you've been through? I'll take the rest of the day off and, since I have a lot of accumulated vacation days, I’ll take the next few weeks as well.”

You smiled faintly. You didn’t want him to not go to work and felt selfish but God, you needed him so badly so you didn’t even complain. “Thank you love.”

“Do you feel like telling me what happened?” Jay asked, now impatient. You told him everything from how you were treating the victim, to the shooting and until help arrived. It goes without saying how furious Jay was when you finished speaking and how he looked ready to smash something against the walls.

“It's over baby, I'm really fine now, luckily they hit me on the arm and not elsewhere where it could’ve been so much worse. I'll get better soon, you know how these things go,” you tried to reassure him, placing your hand on his face and stroking his skin, a gesture that made him relax a little. “Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad Y/N, I’m furious. You are the most precious thing in my life and I’d kill anyone for even touch a strand of your hair in the wrong way. Knowing you were there alone, that you couldn't defend yourself, someone dared to hurt you… I can’t even explain the rage I’m feeling right now,” he replied, the tone of low voice as your words kept echoing in his mind. “I'm so sorry my baby,” he caressed your face “My precious princess. I’m so sorry for not being there and failing to protect you. It shouldn't have happened, especially not to you. If something…”

“No love no,” you interrupted him, not letting him finish that sentence “Let's not think about that. I'm here now, you're here with me and that's all that matters, okay?”.

“I know, I know,” he replied. But they’ll still have to pay for what they did to you.

General tag list: @hngbrooks, @alexxavicry, @mrspeacem1nusone, @halstead-severide-fan, @allivzs

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[gh0vtzb1og]

Can you please do a bunny reader x Simon Riley or maybe even poly 141? Smut or angst scenario? If it’s smut can you please do something with dumbification and breeding kinks?

Lucky rabbit. Bunny hybrid au / BUN! FEM READER X SIMON.

Notes ; toxicity, abuse, screaming, degradation, teasing.

This one isn’t gonna be pretty gadies and lentlemen, also anon my concept of angst is like awful…

Ghost stood before his desk in his office, angrily stomping back and forth. He was frustrated with his work, and you had been nagging on him all day, asking for him to come spend time with you. You were such an irritation. An annoyance, your dumb fucking bunny ears and tails pissed him off. How energetic you were, the way you hopped around and begged him to spend time with her. But he was busy! Why didn’t she understand.

You poked your head into his office, ghost shot you a dangerous glare. You pout your pretty little lips at him, moving closer into the room and touching his shoulder. “Siii can we go do something? You’ve been busy allll day!” You dragged on, the plead made his eye twitch as he went back to ignoring you.

You huff angrily, stomping your foot and frowning. “Simon you said we’d go on a date today.” You quit your little pouty nice act and bring up a genuine problem that had been bugging you. Simon’s fists balled up, his knuckles turning a snowish white.

“Fuck off. You’re really annoying when you beg you know that? You know how busy I am? How fucking busy I am to SUPPORT YOUR WANTS AND NEEDS. BECAUSE YOUR SOOOO FUCKIN GREEDY.” He seethed. “You know what? Forget it. I’m not fucking taking you on a date, since you’re such an annoying little whore.”

Your eyes widened In disbelief, from the man who brought you flowers every week to this. Your gaze shifted to your feet as you tried to hold in your tears. You didn’t like being screamed at, especially by a man who you trusted to see your most vulnerable side. Ghost never dropped his hateful look.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, he shot you a look of malice. Ghost moves closer, grabbing your hair roughly and slamming you up against his desk. You teared up, grabbing onto your own thighs and trying to not anger him any more.

Ghost sighed, leaning into you and hugging your waist. “I’m sorry bunny, I didn’t mean to hurt you, you know that bun? I’m so sorry I yelled baby.” He cupped your face. It wasn’t the first time he’s done this, nor would it be the last. He just got so angry, he couldn’t help it. Right? Ghost didn’t mean to hurt you, he always said so, why would he hurt you? He loves you.

You hugged him back, “I’m sorry I upset you Simon, I didn’t mean too. I just was excited to go on a date again.” Simon rubbed your back, leaving a gentle kiss on your neck as he smiled down at you. He loved when you apologized, you were so easy to manipulate. He adored it.

“I know bunny, your just too stupid aren’t you? Maybe you should keep quiet. I always remember things, I get angry when you remind me.”

-

Ugh he’s such a bad person poor lil bunny reader.:(((((

[acesgarden]

Tmnt mutant mayhem with a human sister reader (only but a year younger) with some fluff and a bit of hurt/comfort. Taking place after the movie where the groups starts high school, but the reader is having a hard trying to fit in with other humans.

Mutan Mayhem request! I’m so sorry anon but my brain gave up like halfway though but i finish to finish 💪 pushed through and after like almost a month it’s done haha. I kinda hated this one i’m so sorry again 😭

Last of this format btw </3

Type ->

Headcanons

Pairing ->

Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo + GN!Reader (separate)

Warning(s) ->

Insecurities, and grammar mistakes. Ooc(???)

Summary ->

You and your brothers go to school, but being raised by mutants you are struggling to fit in.

Masterlist

You are a human raised by mutants. And the only one your dad ever seemed to trust.

Growing up to think humans were bad- well except for you. There was always an exception for you.

And after we meeting April, taking down Superfly and finally starting highschool—maybe—other humans weren’t so bad.

Or so you thought because fitting it just didn’t click as easy as it did for the others.. and people weren’t as welcoming to you as you and your brothers would’ve believed.

Leonardo

He isn’t the first to pick up something’s amiss with you. But second.

He’s your eldest brother, grew up watching you develop your personality and quirks, knowing how you act, what you like, the commonality of your body language.

He’d pick up something off shortly.

He first notices something’s up with you when you become more reserved even to them, even in the littler ways.

You seemed more nervous if not completely anxious at school.

At first he thought you were having a rough few days, but the longer it went on the more concerned became.

So he confronted you.

Leo had always been protective of his siblings, you especially with both being the youngest and the only human of them. He searched for you high and low, finding you in one of the more quiter places of school. The library.

“Hey you, whatcha doing in here?”

“Oh- Leo, i’m just uh.. looking at books?” You grab at a random book and open it.. upside down.

“Sure..” Leo corrected the book, sitting beside you, obviously worried. “If something’s up you can talk to me.”

You didn’t look at him, but he offered you a shoulder and accepting, you leaned on it. Sitting in silence for awhile like that.

“How did you guys do it..?”

“What do you mean?”

“…Fit in.”

“Fit- is someone doing something to you? Are they hurting you? bullying you-?”

“No no! I just.. I dont think I fit in—or that people like me—I mean you’re heroes! You saved the city and i’m just here? The turtles human sibling, You’re little sibling.”

Leo turned holding your hands in his. “You are absolutely a hero! You got all those people out of those buildings, ones superfly would’ve sent crumbling and crushing all those civilians. You might not have taken him down but you saved lives. Don’t you ever forget that.” He pulled you into a hug. One you reciprocated.

“Love you, Leo.”

“Love you to.”

Leo made sure you were never left out after that.

Boasting about all you did to save people, saying his cool his little sibling is, etc.

Raphael

He loves you all, just in his own Raph way.

Like Leo as your older brother he grew up watching you become you.

But he’d notice around the time you weren’t coming to sparing, and even when you did there isn’t a lot of effort. You don’t show up to his wrestling matches like his brothers and dad.

You were always so supportive of him and of all of your brothers for that matter.

They would search for you but couldn’t find you anywhere. It scared his brothers on occasion, including him but he’d always put on a brave face.

He becomes even more worried when you start becoming distant to all of them.

Raphael finally went to go confront you about it after a week of it.

He scoured the hallways trying to find you, you’d been leaving earlier and earlier to get to school. He left earlier to find you, alone where there weren’t a lot a of people around. Then he found you in the hallway.

And you were by yourself, holding your phone as you just.. stared.

“Hey?” Your turtle brother sat beside you, scaring you and you hide your phone.

“Hey- uh hey raph, raphael, raphala, rapha-“ he gave you a look. You both sat there for a second. Just in each other’s company before Raph spoke up.

“Listen, i’m cutting to the chase. What’s going on?”

“What- what do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, you’ve been avoiding us. Distant, Somethings going on and you can’t avoid talking about it anymore.” He looked at you with seriousness, that fighting spirit of his wasn’t going to let you get away easily.

You look away from him, phone falling from your hand, landing face up. You hadn’t been hiding it, so what did you expect. Them to not pick up on it?

“You don’t gotta tell me everything, just something so I know how to help. Kay?” Raph and emotional vulnerability were two things you didn’t see together often.

You pick up your phone and show it to him, you talk as he looks over the articles you had pulled up. All articles about them.

“I think it’s great, the articles. I’m proud. of all of you. For saving the city, and our home. Everyone celebrated you and you deserve it.”

Raphael looked at you, not knowing where this was going.

“I.. do others- They all love you and I try to talk to students and make friends, but they always ask me about you guys.”

Raph had watched you help countless humans that day, yet you let them have all the praise and credit. He hadn’t noticed why.

“They dont know what they’re missing out on. You’ll find the right people who like you for you, and just not because you’re our little sibling.” Raph pulled you into a side hug. And you both sat there until school started.

Donatello

Donnie would see the signs, even if he’s a bit arrogant and sarcastic he definitely cares for all of you, no question asked. Your all his siblings the people he grew up with.

So when he starts noticing the distancing early.

Idk maybe he saw you in one of his animes or shows or smth and was like ‘oh.. OH.’

He’d confront you during lunch.

He had searched the library, cafeteria, and courtyard for you. Yet you just weren’t there, so he knew of only one more place to look.

There you were, he had a feeling he’d find you in your favorite teachers classroom. So he walked on in and sat at the desk closet to you. He looked at you.

“Oh! Donnie- hi. You okay..?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Are you ok?”

You sat there knowing but not at the same time what he meant.

“What do you mean? I’m fine.”

“Then why are you avoiding us? You don’t usually miss our anime binges! You’ve missed like three new episodes of anime.”

You nod, you had and didn’t realize.

“What’s going on.”

You look up at him and it all falls out, the insecurity of being around other humans, the way they make you feel, the way you try. But you just don’t fit in, not like how they do it.

Donnie looks at you and pulls you into a hug.

“Youre like Deku, you just gotta do it and don’t give up.”

Michelangelo

He as the youngest is most likely the brother you are closest too and not just in age.

He would notice the changes and made plans to confront you.

But this is a different case, you seek out Mikey rather than him confronting you.

You and Mikey had stayed before one day at the house while everyone went out to do their own stuff. You found him in your brothers room.

He’s scribbling in a notebook, likely comping up with something for his improv club. You walk up at sat beside him.

Mikey notices immediately and put his attention on you.

“What’s up?”

“How do you know if others like you?” You pulled your legs in and rested your head on your knees. Looking at him.

“Are people being mean to you?”

“No- not really I just. I don’t think I fit in with them. Not like you guys..” You say recalling all your attempts to make friends and reach out. You felt embarrassed about that.

“If it helps we could try improving something to help you?”

“Yeah.. I’d like that.” You smiled as you both got to work.

[spxllcxstxr]

Goodbyes • J.S

(Gif not mine)

Request: Would you mind writing a little something for Jon? I would also really appreciate it if there weren't any spoilers for the later seasons in it :D Thank youuuuuuu ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ — anon

Summary: Jon sets off for the Wall, leaving you behind

Warnings: reader wears a dress but no pronouns used, you get called a whore but not like maliciously?, very very slight canon divergence in the form of the weather lmao, angstyyyyy

Word Count: 735

A.N: I’m back! This is my first piece in like what, almost two years??? Yeah…I’m sorry about that lmao. Hopefully I’m not too rusty. Also this is only second Jon fic so hopefully its not too bad! I’m excited to get back to writing for you guys again!! Hope you all enjoy! :)

•

“What do you mean you’re heading to the Wall, Jon?”

The man in front of you bows his head even lower, dark curls obscuring the guilty look on his face. His furs drape over his form, making him look bigger than he actually is.

You glare at him, fists curled at your sides, jaw tightened with frustration.

“Jon.”

Silently, he looks up at you, deep brown eyes boring into yours. The walls of Winterfell shudder under the harsh Northern wind. You glare at him, tears threatening to spill as your throat tightens.

“Please…” You whimper, begging him for an explanation as to why he would condemn himself to such a place.

The walls of the stable creak, the hay filled air suddenly too overwhelming.

Jon shifts from one foot to the other. He picks at the stray strings still attached to his shirt.

“(Y/N)…you must understand…I cannot stay here,” He mutters, eyes flicking away from yours.

He is only arms length away from you but he feels so far away. The fabric of your dress underneath your own fur cloak make your skin itch as it starts to feel constricting.

“But—“

“I am a bastard, (Y/N), do you not understand that?” Jon spits out, eyebrows furrowed in anger. “I do not belong in Winterfell! I serve no purpose here, I would be more honorable in the Night’s Watch.”

Your anger suddenly dissipates, and instead sadness claws its way through. Hands shaking ever so slightly you reach out to grab Jon’s gloved hands. You try to capture his gaze once again. The howling wind seems to have calmed down along with his outburst.

You know he’s made his decision.

“But I love you, Jon Snow,” You whisper, clinging onto his hands even tighter than before. “And if you truly wish to punish yourself by going to the Wall then I will never see you again.” The hope in your voice is mixed with desperation.

You feel your lip quiver as his eyes soften.

“You cannot love me, (Y/N). You cannot love a bastard,” He says softly. “I do not hold a title nor any land. I have no future other than being Lord Stark’s bastard son.”

“That means nothing to me, Jon, all I want is you—“

“But it matters to me!” He interrupts, frown etched into his face, tinged red from the cold. “Aye, I could eventually obtain some plot of land but no matter where I go, I will always be Lord Stark’s bastard. And with me, (Y/N)…You would always be plagued with being the bastard’s whore,”

You sigh, bringing one of your hands up to graze his cold cheek. Tears fall slowly down your face.

“There is no escape for me,” Jon relaxes somewhat under your fingertips, obviously unsure of whether or not succumbing to your gentleness and confession would be wise. “Except for the Wall.”

The silence is suffocating as the two of you stand face to face, eyes upholding their connection. You wonder if you should kiss him. Would kissing him like your life depended on it make him stay? You’ve loved him for years and this was your chance. Biting your lip in thought with your tears almost frozen to your face, you wonder if Jon is thinking the same.

He doesn’t make a single move and you know it’s really and truly decided. There was no stopping him, he has made up his mind. No amount of love would convince a heart that thought it didn’t deserve any. You roughly swallow, a new wave of fresh tears blurring your vision and obscuring the face of the man you love.

“I must be off, (Y/N),” He rasps, backing away from you, bowing his head. Your hand slowly lowers back to your side. “Uncle Benjen wishes to keep an eye on me until we leave.”

“Goodbye, Jon Snow,” Your voice wavers as you shiver, pulling your furs closer to you. “I do wish things could have been different.”

“Aye,” He responds, his own voice not completely unchanged. “I do as well.”

He bows his head once more before swiftly walking away from you. You watch after him, how his dark furs trail after him and how his own silhouette fades into the falling snow.

You sniff as you compose yourself, smoothing out your dress and straightening your back. The snow crunches underneath your feet as you walk in the opposite direction.

•

[sodoshame]

please please PLEASE write something with regressed!phantom being seen by dew for the first time. maybe it’s during the time that dew is mean to phantom because he took aethers place? something like that

thanks shadow! always love ur fics

Hello sweet anon! Sorry this took so long, I’m working my way through requests :) I hope this is what you are after!

Requests are still open if anyone wants anything, I’ll get to it when I can :)

Honey.

Regressed!Phantom & Dewdrop.

A/N: SFW like all my agere fics of course! Dew is a little mean at first but he gets nicer I swear. I also wrote this really fast on my phone so I apologise in advance!

_

Dewdrop was the only one up this late; the rumbling of the tour bus wasn’t lulling him to sleep like it usually did, so he gave up on trying to sleep and got out of his bunk to go and sit on the couch in the main area of the bus.

The ghoul had been sitting on the couch for almost an hour now, watching the TV at a low volume so it didn’t disturb anyone else. Upon hearing the door to the bunk area click open, Dew looked over, trying to make out who the figure in the doorway was. He squinted slightly, trying to adjust his eyes to the dark. The figure stepped forwards, the light from the TV illuminating him.

“Phantom? What do you want?” Dewdrop asked, his tone unnecessarily harsh. The young ghoul squeaked out a response, too quiet to hear.

“Fuck’s sake, speak up would you!?” Dew snapped, clenching his jaw.

Phantom stepped forwards again, allowing Dew to see him properly. The quintessence ghoul had the spade of his tail in his mouth, gently suckling on it. His hair was sticking up all over the place and he had tear tracks on his cheeks. He’d been crying.

Dewdrop sighs irritably, not quite yet realising the state of the poor ghoul.

“Speak, would you? Or go bother someone else.” Dew mutters, turning his attention back to the TV. He hears a little whimper from Phantom; he groans and looks back at him.

“Satanas, what is wrong with you?!” Dew snaps again.

That does it. Phantom bursts into tears.

“I- I had b-bad dream. Swissy i-is sleeping.” Phantom manages to stutter out between his sobs. His vocabulary is limited and his voice is muffled around his tail that is still in his mouth.

Immediately, Dew’s eyes widen. He hadn’t realised the state that the younger ghoul was in; Phantom was regressed and Dew had just yelled at him, making him burst into tears. The older ghoul sighs, standing up from the couch.

“Fuck- I mean shit- damn it! Okay, alright… Phantom?” Dew mumbles as he slowly approaches Phantom. The young ghoul backs away slightly, still sobbing.

“Hey, come on. I’m not gonna hurt you, quint.” Dew says, his voice softening. He holds his arms out to Phantom, offering him to come closer.

As Phantom toddled over to Dew, the fire ghoul realised just how little Phantom was; he was wobbly on his feet, sucking on the spade of his tail like a pacifier. Even the way he’s crying. He was regressed much younger than Dew had seen any of the other ghouls be.

“Oh, you’re really little right now, aren’t you?” Dew coos softly. Once Phantom is close enough, Dewdrop wraps him in a gentle hug and softly rubs his back.

Phantom says nothing, but allows himself to be wrapped in Dew’s arms. His crying has calmed down a little, but there are still tears running down his cheeks and his breathing is shaky.

“I’m sorry, little quint. I didn’t mean to shout at you, I didn’t realise that you’re-”

Dewdrop pauses and sighs.

“I shouldn’t have shouted at you, end of.” He mumbles.

The fire ghoul leads Phantom to the couch, getting him to sit down. Dew wraps his arms around the young ghoul, pulling him to his chest.

Phantom lets out a little whimper as he cries, burying his face into Dew’s shoulder.

“Shh, shh, shh. Don’t cry, honey. You’re okay. You’re safe.” He brings his hand up to run his fingers through Phantom’s messy hair, keeping one arm wrapped around him. The young ghoul brings his tail back to his mouth, suckling on it once again; Dew frowns as he watches him.

“Hey, quint, don’t do that please. It’s not good for your your tail, you’ll end up hurting it.” Dew says softly, trying to pull the tail out of the quintessence ghouls mouth. Phantom whines and looks up at Dew with big watery eyes. Dewdrop sighs, then fumbles about in his back pocket.

“Can you try this for me? It’s Mountain’s, but I’m sure he won’t mind you borrowing it.” He says, pulling a pacifier from his pocket and offering it to the young ghoul.

Phantom lets his tail drop out of his mouth and cautiously leans his face closer to the pacifier. Dew gently pushes it against his lips, encouraging him to take it. Phantom does, taking it into his mouth hesitantly. After a few minutes, he looks up at the older ghoul, grinning around the pacifier.

“You like the paci, bug?” Dew questions, stroking his fingers through Phantom’s hair. Phantom nods, softly sucking on the pacifier as he looks up at Dew.

“Maybe we’ll have to get you your own, huh? That sounds like a good idea?”

Phantom nods excitedly and starts shuffling around on couch, eventually planting himself on Dew’s lap. He curls up against him and nuzzles his face into the fire ghoul’s chest. Dewdrop watches him with a raised eyebrow and lets out a slight chuckle as Phantom settles himself in his lap.

“Oh, just gettin’ comfy, hm?” Dew coos softly, wrapping his arms back around Phantom’s body.

The quintessence ghoul hums quietly in response, already closing his eyes. He mumbles something into Dew’s chest.

“T’ank you, Dewy.”

Dewdrop all but feels his heart melt; he places a soft kiss to the top of Phantom’s head and cradles him to his chest.

“You’re welcome, baby bug.” Dew mumbles into Phantom’s hair.

Maybe he should give the new quintessence ghoul more of a chance. Maybe he shouldn’t take his anger about Aether on Phantom.

From that night on, Dewdrop vowed to himself that he wouldn’t ever hurt the young ghoul again; nor would he let anyone else.

[asimpwithfreetime]

ur writing is amazing! Can I request a yandere ronal and tonowari giving the reader a ( Punishment ;) when she tries to escape again?

Thank you so much, my sweet anon! 💕 of course you can request something like that ;) I hope you mean smut, because if not, sorry

Punishment (Yandere! Ronal x reader x Yandere! Tonowari)

Warnings: kidnapping, kind of manipulative (doubtful consensual) orgasm torture and denial, masturbation. Knife play, threats, smut, pure filth, spiting, spanking, oral (f and m receiving), playing good cop-bad cop, face sitting, baby trapping (or at least a try)

I don’t know how to feel about this, so if you guys don’t like it I might errase it.

This could be considered a Darkfic read at your own media consumption, you have been warned.

[ 1st Person POV ]

I woke up feeling dizzy, the hurting in my head being strong. Memories of the night before came flooding my mind. How I tried to escape them and how they found me on the sea that surrounded our homes. How Ronal tied me up and in an attempt of escaping I fell from her ilu and I hit my head with some of the subaquatic structures and I passed out.

Now I was still tied, my wrists and my ankles arching from the strong rope. “Ah you are finally awake” Tonowari’s husky voice startled me. “I was so concerned my cute little thing wouldn’t wake up”. His voice was sweet but his expression was stern.

“I know you are sorry, baby” he sat on the bed I was on. “You didn’t want to get hurt and get us all concerned, didn’t you?” Before I could answer, he was already talking. “The problem is, you did get us worried. You tried to escape and actions have consequences, Y/n, we will need to teach you a lesson”. Once he finished his words, a small whimper left my throat. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll like it”.

Ronal came into the room, a bunch of stuff on her arms, due to the dim light, I couldn’t see very well. “She is awake” Tonowari told her “I am pretty aware” she responded. “I am so disappointed in you, Y/n, I thought you loved us and you broke our hearts” she looked at me coldly and a chill ran down my spine.

She sat down on the bed, at my right side. Tonowari took the left. “I am going to show you, what happens when you disobey” . Before I could speak, she ripped my threaded top, making me squeak in pain, the fast friction had caused the thread to burn my skin a little bit. Ronal pinched one of my nipples, both of them hardening with the sudden wave of air. “I hope you learn the lesson”. I couldn’t help but feel a small amount of wetness pooling between my legs.

Tonowari shuffled and moved me on top of his lap, my stomach being in touch with his, still covered, erection. He moved my loincloth aside and prepared my butt cheeks to be spanked. Before that, he passed two fingers along my slit, taking up just a small amount of arousal. “Look at her, all horny knowing how much pain she is going to go though” he cooed smiling, even though Ronal didn’t smile. She passed two fingers down my slit too, pressing onto my clit and penetrating me just slightly. “It will be better this way” she concluded, licking my arousal off her fingers.

Tonowari’s big hand slapped my butt before I was able to react. I big purplish mark starting to appear in my blue skin. Then he did it again, and again. And as many times as he could, until tears pricked at my eyes, threatening to spill. My whole butt was in a purple-reddish color, making Tonowari puff his chest out in proudness.

I was almost close to crying when he just laid a finger on my sore skin and I broke down in sobs. “Now hush, my love” he smiled at me before setting me down on the bed. He pulled me down, my teary eyes looking up into the ceiling, before feeling his fingers across my cunt. He pulled my tied legs upwards before penetrating with his long digits.

The movement made me almost jolt in the spot if my, already tied and sore limps, weren’t being held by Tonowari’s strong arms. Shivers ran down my spine as I heard the wet sloppy sounds that filled the marui pod. Ronal, who had been rustling in the background, came near us. “She is ready” she announced. “Ready for what?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper. “This” she pushed Tonowari’s hand away and started slurping at my pussy. She nibbled, sucked and licked everything. Tonowari brought his fingers up to his mouth and licked them.

He then took his loincloth off, throwing it somewhere and revealing a huge, pre-cum leaking, cock. “Now you gotta satisfy me” he said, getting closer to me “Open you mouth” he commanded, his hands never leaving my legs while his fingers dig softly into my skin. I opened my mouth hesitantly before he shoved his entire length down my throat, making me cough and gag around his cock.

While Ronal had me squirming and having my pussy completely drenched, I came undone, screaming, moaning and gagging around Tonowari’s cock. He was grunting and puffing out air from time to time. The vibrations probably sending him chills. I continued gagging around his huge, veiny, cock while Ronal kept drinking up my juices.

Tonowari came into my mouth without any other warning than a gutural grunt. I felt out of air, the tears smearing across my face again. Once he pulled out, Ronal got up. She looked at me, spiting softly in her fingers and beginning to play with my breasts. I screamed in pleasure. Tonowari took my face and gave me a kiss, I could hear his soft grunt from tasting his own cum in my mouth.

He then held my face with my mouth open and spat on it. “Now you are learning how to be a good girl, aren’t you?” He taunted. He then positioned himself with me, my legs were completely tired of being upwards. He opened them a little bit, still being tied up by the ankles and hooked them up his shoulders. That way, my cunt and his cock were already lined up. As i squirmed away a little bit, Ronal stopped me, pushing down on my shoulders. “Give me two taps if you need to breathe” she ordered before putting her pussy on my face, moving around, grinding her wet folds over my nose. I took a moment trying to realize what was happening.

Tonowari penetrated me and I lost it, I came undone on his cock for the mere penetration. I screamed in pleasure, engulfing most of her vulva. Ronal moaned in a way I had never heard her moan before. Tonowari kept fucking my cunt and overstimulating me. For a moment, the coil in my tummy broke and I kept crying out in pleasure into Ronal’s dripping wet pussy. The obscene sounds were all over the Marui Pod.

Ronal moved, switching the way she was sitting, moving forward to kiss Tonowari while he kept fucking me. “I’m gonna cum” he moaned “cum inside her, fill her up to the brim. All full with our babies she won’t escape” Ronal’s voice was cold, stoping mid-sentence at time to take in a shaking breath. She was starting to drip more fluids, her orgasm approaching. I decided to give her what she wanted, doing my very best at eating her out. She came into my mouth, I could taste her in my tongue.

Tonowari started making really low grunts and moans before cumming, filling my uterus up with his hot seed. “Now you’ll be ours forever” he smiled, pulling out and using two fingers to get back inside any excess cum that came out.