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#again this is not me reacting to one thing in isolation
ingravinoveritas · 6 months
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Oh, boy. Well, I've had a few people show this to me today, and again, it's...yeah. A lot.
The first thing that caught my notice is that this picture seems to be from the outing Michael and AL did with Georgia and David last weekend at Lapland UK (if the matching Christmas sweaters and Michael's furry hat are any indication, at least). Why a picture from then was posted today instead of a current one, I'm not sure, but I did think that was an interesting choice.
The second thing that came to mind is something I probably don't even need to say because it seems like others are noticing it, to where I saw folks on Twitter actually commenting, "Why does he look so tired and unhappy?" It sort of boggles my mind that Anna would post a picture where this is so visibly the case, but then it's also not surprising, because it seems like yet another instance of her making sure that her hair/makeup is on point while seemingly not caring whether Michael looks good in the picture. And again, the "husky" comment would hit a lot differently if it weren't for Anna's Insta story from a month ago comparing him to a dog. As it is, it feels like another passive-aggressive jab at Michael's appearance, which as we know by now is something AL has done many times over.
But what really struck me about this picture is that she posted it shortly after Georgia posted a Christmas Eve photo of her and David. When we look at that picture--as well as the picture of Michael and David that was also taken at Lapland last weekend--the difference is stark:
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All I can say is that two of these three pictures look and feel like couples...and one of them distinctly doesn't.
David's expression is so soft in the picture with Georgia, he's leaning in to her, and you can feel the connection between them and that they are a combined "unit." Michael is utterly beaming in the picture with David and leaning in to him with his whole body. Yet in the picture with Anna, it's very much a case of them standing near each other but not at all being in the same place. It also almost looks as if Michael was doing something else and she insisted on a selfie, and this was the end result. Again, if we contrast all of that to the selfie Georgia took with David, the difference truly is night and day. I don't know what that may mean (if it means anything at all), but I'm genuinely baffled at AL's decision to post that picture.
The one other intriguing piece of all this is Georgia's comment, which we can see in the screenshot above. I've had a few folks DMing me saying they think it could be an indication of some sort of poly arrangement (that "better halves" means Georgia is referring to AL as her better half, and referring to Michael as David's better half). Whether this is remotely true is something only the four of them would know, but if nothing else, I do think the wording is just ambiguous enough to make one wonder.
So yes, those are my thoughts on this new picture. Happy for folks to weigh in and share their reactions in the comments, as always, and I will keep doing my best to get through the backlog of Asks still in my inbox...
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sschmendrick · 2 months
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thinking about friends i left on bad terms with whom i can never go back but who i still love. But I wasn't a great person then, wouldn't even call me a good person. I'm glad to see them thrive.
Feels bittersweet to look back at things I still have from them. I wish I was a better person then. I wish I could have been better for others. But also then I wouldn't have met the people I have.
I hope they don't think about me, ever. Feels somewhat bad to be able to look back and see the good moments we had and the good person they were, because I don't think they could do that. And also I don't think I deserve that.
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tentacletournament · 1 year
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This is very off topic but- i thought you would appreciate the fact that i'm going to write about the classic to geno to error timeline in my philosophy essay.
IM SCREAMING THEIR TIMELINE IS MY EVERYTHING I HAVE BEEN OBSESSED FOREVER AND EVER IF YOU DONT GET FULL MARKS ILL DIE
#if you ever feel like sending it you know where to find me#no bc im obsessed with the entire timeline of basically decay and tie in lore of the entire thing#the concept of not only the affects of trauma and isolation but also the changing of situation and environment having that big of an impac#is so fun to analyse#the impact of knowledge on this guy and how this relates to the entire concept of timelines is such a good psychological stufy#on top of the environment changes that sans goes through theres also the entire thing with all the relationships in his life#starting with gaster that is clearly a large affect on the sci to classic time until eventually the genocide route changes him again but#more drastic because of his new position stuck in save forever until eventually the void#and then you apply the little typology pseudoscience to his personality and way of thinking throughout this#and then apply the whole multiversal war lore to how he reacts and responds to the creation of aus#and then you consider all the fandom relationships between the sanses and how they react to one another specifically between the main#timeline and aus because of how different their lives weny#AND THEN ADD ON THAT SANS IS HOT???#ive been obsessed for 8 years sorry for the tag essay#also sans is just funny#sci is my personal favourite because of everything listed above like he hasnt even experienced all of that#but in some interpretations you assume that he DOES know all that happens and he still goes on??#also cpau is my yearly christmas ritual best personification of sci not in terms of anything important but like just how he acts and talks#bhc did blue best thats irrelevant but i need everyone to know about it#not a poll#mars talks#mars is talking a LOT
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blackwaxidol · 4 months
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changed my bedsheets today but i end up crying into them for the past few hours because i reach the level of anger where all i can do is collapse in misery.
#the worse it gets the more high maintenance i become#and i cannot stand anything more than becoming unreasonable or a control freak.#so i go limp and stare at the other side of my room for a long time.#it's the part of the day where colour vision is useless. everything is monochrome static.#i have to stop moving and stop thinking. or stop acknowledging that i am thinking rather.#so it is just staring at grey static cabinets being headlocked into emotionless fantasies of harm.#i don't know what has happened to me.#again that emotion burning a hole in my stomach lining.#but i can't retrieve it because i have devolved into a rabid animal.#i don't know what is wrong. i wish people stopped for months or years.#so that i could catch up to them.#i think i always feel very isolated.#i think this is delusional of me. i can see a reality that is false but i cannot disprove it or make it less false for me.#so i am stuck feeling one way when i know it should be the other.#and i think that makes the anger worse. i am angry at myself.#always always the anger is at myself. even when the irritations are outward it does not matter#i hate how i react to things.#the overreacting builds and builds until i freak out and cry like i am bereaved. over very small things.#i don't know what i am saying really.#the source of things are obfuscated from me. maybe so i stop being able to size them up and criticise myself.#i know which part keeps that from me but i don't feel anyone else with me.#i don't want to seek it out though.#i just want to stop moving.
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gracieheartspedro · 24 days
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Your Needs, My Needs
I : Strawberry Wine
a masterlist of how you can help gaza
the prelude to this series
pairing: cowboy!joel x f!reader (no outbreak)
description: joel fixes your toilet but you can't help but yearn for more time with him. so you invite him to dinner and try to win his stomach? aka love?
word count: 3.2k words
warnings: there is no smut in this part. still MINORS DNI! no use of y/n! vague talk of reader's old life before texas, no real description of the reader, reader does have anxiety/mental illness that is not fully recognized/diagnosed, mentions of eating food, reader lives alone, reader got MONEYYYY, mentions of joel's ex wife (gasp), alcohol consumption, smoking cigarettes, kissing, flirting. all the fluffy stuff <3
author's note: hey...hey.... how y'all doing?? i'm so so so sorry this has taken so long. my life has been crazy for the last like 4 months and I'm finally getting settled into my life again. I miss y'all and I miss writing, so HERE I AM! I'm hoping everyone who wanted me to tag them months ago is still cool with me tagging them 4 months later lol. okay, lemme know what you think xoxo
Joel comes and goes for days. The first day he returns, he inspects your toilet again and tells you he has the wrong tools. You discuss a game plan and by his initial projections, your toilet should be fixed the next day. But when he fails to come by in the morning, you decide to call the phone number on the post-it note he left for you the day before. 
The phone rings and you get an answering machine of a younger girl telling you to leave her and Dad a message after the beep. When the line lets out a long ding, you breathe out the random croak in your throat. 
“Uh, hey, Joel, it’s me. Just seeing if you’re stopping by today. If not, that’s fine, I’ll be home all day today and tomorrow. Okay, uh, bye.”
Hours go by and you find yourself pacing, regretting your decision to leave him a message. What if he gets it and thinks that you’re crazy? 
Ever since you had made his acquaintance, you felt completely reliant on interacting with him. It may be due to the fact that you haven’t socialized with anyone else in months. You were very good at isolating yourself, but lately, it’s been eating you alive being so alone. Now that you had this big house, the silence felt almost too quiet. Joel’s southern drawl and straightforward responses gave a bit of light back to your life. 
Around dinner time, your landline rings. You practically fall over your couch racing to pick it up, hoping it was him. 
“Howdy neighbor,” He grunts through the phone, “Sorry I didn’t come by today, hope ya didn’t miss me too much.”
You let out a dry laugh, trying not to sound too giddy about him following up with you. You were borderline pathetic. 
“No, I just wanted to make sure you were still alive,” You manage to get out, “You are still alive right?”
“Still kickin’, just busy as all get out. ‘M fixin’ to head to your place now if you’re not busy.”
You look down at your pajamas and start to nod. It’s not like he can see you through the phone, but you are reacting to his words like he’s right in front of you. 
“Sure thing, I’ll leave the door unlocked.”
-
“So… It’s really just you here? All by your lonesome?”
He’s messing with his toolbox, searching for the one tool he needs to fix the toilet. You stir your fresh brewed tea, ensuring none of the sugar clumps up at the bottom of the mug. You had offered him some, but he politely declined, telling you that he had a big dinner.
You take a sip, testing the sweetness. “Just me. How about you? Just you and your daughter, right?”
He laughs heartedly, turning towards you from where he’s squatted. You look at him with curious eyes, unsure if you asked the wrong question. He stands up, a wrench in his hand, a smile still spread across his face. 
“Her mama left town with her new boyfriend about 5 years ago. Wanted the city life, not the life I gave her. It’s been just me and her ever since.”
So he’s single. You think to yourself. 
You realize the laugh was probably because of how absurd and new it must be for someone to ask him about his life. He grew up here and you are positive everyone here already knew all about his business. You are a breath of fresh air for him. 
Before the silence becomes awkward, you speak up. “City life ain’t worth a shit.”
“Yeah, she’s different. Won’t speak ill of her ‘cause that’s my bosses’ mama. She sees her now and again. They are just very different.” 
The conversation comes easy with Joel. While the first couple of interactions you two shared were a bit strained, after days of small talk, you realize he’s the truest Southern gentleman you’ve ever interacted with. Polite with a little bite. He never speaks ill of others, except his brother. He loves to pick on Tommy. He seems like an attentive father. He loves to pick at you, always pointing out your Northern tendencies. Your horrible driving. Your accent and your speech patterns. But he’s also very complimentary. A couple of days ago, he remarked how nice your perfume was when you were standing close to him. It made your heart skip a beat. 
And on top of all of those things, he’s very easy on the eyes. 
“That’s mighty fine of you not speaking ill of your ex,” You try to drag out the silly Southern saying, which causes him to chuckle again. You smack your lips before continuing, “Wish I could do the same.”
You are not sure what he’s doing to the tank of your toilet, but you watch him strain to get a piece out of the corner with the wrench he has. He clenches his teeth, turning the piece to the left to loosen it. 
“Exes are exes for a reason,” He grunts, fiddling with some more things in the tank, “I ain’t too hung up on datin’ right now. I got my girl and my horses.”
“And now you got me, your annoying neighbor who almost crashes into your horses and asks you to fix toilets.”
He breathes out loudly, “Yeah, ‘nother pain in my ass. Just what a man needs.”
-
The toilet is fixed too quickly. You had busied yourself with other small cleaning tasks that when Joel finds you in the kitchen doing dishes, he startles you. It took him about 15 minutes to finish the job and you had thought you could at least finish up the dishes you made from dinner. 
“‘M all finished up. Gotta get back home to do some rounds at the stables,” He says as he waltzes over to your paper towel holder. He grabs a sheet and begins to wipe his damp hands, “Anythin’ else for me today?”
You turn off the running water, going down a list of fixes you could ask him to do. You decide it’s probably best to just ask him to swing by another day to help you with other things. 
“No, thank you though, Joel. I am sure I’ll be by to ask for more help,” You chuckle, shaking your hands dry, “I owe you dinner or something.”
As you say it, it feels like all the air leaves your lungs. He’s staring at you and there’s a glint in his eyes. You are not that good at reading people, mostly because you are deathly afraid of being wrong. His eyebrows raise as he leans against the counter near you. He’s so close and in your space, but you try to push the thought of him coming onto you out of your mind. 
“What’do you got on the menu tomorrow?”
His voice is kind of husky which makes your brain draw a blank. You wipe your hands on your pants before crossing the kitchen to check your fridge. You glance through your ingredients, settling for the only dinner item you can conjure up that his southern palette may like. 
“Baked chicken and vegetables?”
He nods, tossing his paper towel into the bin beside you. “Yeah, I've been needing a home-cooked meal. Think I could come over at like 5? Tomorrow?”
You recollect a time when a guy showed interest in wanting to hang out with you outside of work. It had been years and he was not nearly as attractive as the man in front of you. 
You nod slowly, trying not to look too robotic due to your nerves. “Sure thing, cowboy.”
-
You did not know what to wear. You contemplated going into town to see what the local boutiques had but you ran the risk of Joel seeing you out. You didn’t even know if this was a date. 
You settle on a sundress you have owned since high school. It’s the perfect length and while your mind goes to wanting to impress Joel, you also need to be comfortable. 
You cleaned your house, adding some new decorations to your living room walls. You even clean your sheets and make sure your bedroom is vacuumed. 
When the time comes for Joel to arrive, you pace the kitchen anticipating the doorbell. You already had all the food prepped and ready to put in the oven. The vegetables have been cut and seasoned. Everything was just the way you needed it to be. 
Joel gets there 5 after your scheduled time. When you welcome him at the door, his hair is styled and you can tell he put on his “fancy jeans”. 
What you didn’t expect was the bouquet of flowers he had in his hands. 
“Afternoon, neighbor,” He begins before extending the floral arrangement towards you, “My girl said I had to bring you something nice. Somethin’ bout being a gentleman.”
You smile widely, giving flowers all your attention. Even with the fragrant bouquet, you get a whiff of his sandalwood cologne. 
“Nice to see you cleaned up for me, cowboy. Come on in, dinner is about to get put in the oven.”
-
You catch him scanning you up and down when you place the spread of chicken and vegetables on the table. He was in the midst of talking about his daughter and her band fundraiser, but he completely halted when you took notice of his staring. 
You settle into the dining room chair across from him, waiting for him to continue, but he doesn’t. 
“She needs more sponsors?” You break the silence, wanting to move away from the sudden awkwardness. 
He swallows, reaching for the serving fork, “Oh, yeah. She needs to reach a certain goal to go on her senior band trip.”
You try to avoid his wandering gaze again, focusing on organizing your plate of vegetables. “Where are they going?”
“Disney. She ain’t never been out of Texas, so she really wants to go.”
You remember all the trips your family said they’d go on to Disney, but they never did. Your father could not stand being around his own children, let alone other people’s children. You think about how he used to complain about your constant questions, all the times he completely ignored you for your brother. You start to spiral, the anxiety creeping up in the back of your throat. You push your chair out from under the table, excusing yourself for a moment. You go to the bar you have set up in the living room and grab the only sweet wine you have. Strawberry. You grab two glasses from the top of the setup and walk back to Joel. 
“Forgot wine,” you mumble, setting a glass in front of him, “You want some?”
He is already picking at his chicken, “Yeah, I’ll take some.”
You are quiet as you uncork it expertly, pouring it into each of the glasses. Joel watches you like a hawk. You can tell he’s trying to read your expression, so you try your best to remain neutral even though your hands are shaking. 
You place the bottle in the middle of the table, making sure it’s easily reachable. 
You finally sit back down, sipping the red liquid. The strawberry flavor isn’t very strong, it’s more like a hint of the berry. You had gotten the bottle from a roadside stand in Kentucky. An older lady who must have owned a vineyard nearby was selling them for $5 each. You told yourself you would only use it for a special occasion. This event seemed fitting. 
Wine always makes you flushed, but you are always a bit flushed around Joel. Even more so when he’s watching you so intently. 
After a couple of sips, you finally rest your shoulders and begin to eat your dinner. 
“I could sponsor her,” you finally say, returning to the previous conversation. For some reason, you felt obligated. Joel quickly retaliates, shaking his head as he chewed on your roasted veggies. 
“You ain’t gotta do that, doll.” 
The nickname rings in your ears. You take another sip of wine. You can tell Joel notices your reaction because he smirks with his mouth full. 
“But I want to, Joel. I’m sure she has worked hard her high school career, she deserves to have fun.”
He hums, but still shakes his head negatively, “I can’t let you just pay for-”
“You can and you will,” You enjoy another bite, smirking at your defiance towards him. He looks perplexed. “So when is this fundraiser? Is there like a dinner or something?”
He finally caves, “This Friday at the school. It’s a dinner and auction. I guess if the kids don’t find their sponsors, some local businesses are willing to sponsor them.”
“Are you going?”
“Yeah,” He cuts up his chicken, “I guess you’re gonna come along, too, if you’re givin’ my girl all that money.”
“Does a check work?”
He sits back in his chair, already finishing off his wine, “You seriously don’t have to-”
“What are neighbors for, Joel?”
He nods, “You mean friends.”
You furrow your brows, trying to let your hazy mind find a time when you called him your friend. This was a new development.
“Friends, huh?”
He pours more in his glass, “Well, I’d like to think so.”
The wine is hitting your system and you realize your arms feel lighter. You grab the stem of your glass and tip it up to down the rest of the alcohol. Joel’s eyes are trained on you, waiting for a snarky response. 
“Do friends stare at other friends like that?” You pour more wine for yourself. You realize he’s done eating so before he can respond to your flirtation, you speak up again, “You done with that?”
He looks down at his empty plate, “Yes, ma’am.”
“Yes friends look at other friends like that, or you’re done eating.”
He grins, “‘m done eating, doll.”
-
You two find your way out to the rocking chairs. They were left there by the previous owners and you could tell they were probably as old as you. 
You had another full glass of wine, sipping it as Joel lit up a cigarette. He admitted it was only a bad habit when he was drinking, which was rare. “Sarah gets onto me when I have even one beer. So this has gotta be between us two.”
You swirl the crystal, watching him carefully take a drag of the stick. “Your secret is safe with me, cowboy.”
He giggles as he lets out a huff of smoke. “I haven’t had secrets in a long time. Guess I’m lucky it’s with the town stranger.”
The statement hits you in the very pit of your settling tummy. You furrow your eyebrows, leaning forward towards him. Your chairs are not that far away from one another, so this is probably the closest you have ever been to him except for that one moment in the kitchen. 
“Luckiest man in Texas that’s for sure,” You muster, averting your eyes. You could not stare into his beautiful brown eyes for too long. “Having the privilege of getting me out of my head. No man has done that in years.”
“What? You not good at letting loose?”
You shake your head, knowing that he did not understand what you meant. You take a moment to inhale, finally glancing up at him again. “I think I may just be cursed.”
“Now, why do you say that?”
You contemplate spilling the beans. Letting your heart fall onto your sleeve after years of shielding it from anyone who looks your way. Your lips part, but no words come out. It’s just the sounds of the cicadas. 
“As soon as something is good, it gets bad somehow. I don’t even get a moment to savor it.”
You feel the statement down to your bones. The last time you felt settled in your own life, the rug got pulled out from under you. You cannot remember a time when you truly felt present in a special moment. You always felt like you were floating outside of your body, watching things happen and never really truly feeling anything. 
You don’t expect him to lean closer to you, “Whatever happened before you got here, you ain’t gotta worry about it anymore. You obviously put distance between you and what happened for a reason. Let this little side of the world be your home now.”
You push your spiraling thoughts away, letting him be right. 
“I’m workin’ on getting settled. It’s easy when you have a handsome cowboy to help along the way.”
It comes out like word vomit. Between the wine and the nerves coursing through your entire being, you can’t help but admit your little crush on the man. You slap your free hand over your forehead, admitting defeat before he can even respond. You knew he would take the comment and run with it.
“You always flirt with your friends, sweetheart?” He was toying with you, which was a good sign. If he wasn’t interested, he wouldn’t call you such a thing. 
You smile, releasing your face from your hand. His eyes are tracing every curve of your face, a subtle pass that you did not capture quickly enough. 
“Only ones that fix my toilets.”
And then, he kisses you. It happens so quickly, that you don’t fully grasp that it’s happening until you're molding your lips into his. Once your buzzed brain picks up the fact that the man you have been crushing on is kissing you, he pulls away. Your eyes are still closed, your hands still gripping onto your wine glass. 
He huffs loudly and stands up quickly. Once you place your eyes on him, he’s pacing around the back deck stairs, not too far from where you’re sitting. You instantly bite back the urge to ask him what’s wrong, because there’s always something wrong. 
“‘M sorry, sweetheart. I should’na done that.”
He instantly regretted it. The thought made your throat tighten. He continues to walk back and forth, causing a draft. 
“It’s fine, Joel. I’m n-not mad.”
He shakes his head, halting his robot-like movements. He finally looks at your pitiful expression and lets out a long sigh. “I don’t think I’m much of a gentleman, kissing you on the first date.”
You watch as he places his hands on his hips, contemplating his whole life right before your eyes. You realize he is too traditional to see that nowadays, people are sleeping together on the first date. First base is nothing. You rest your glass on a decrepit table next to you and stand up. 
You slowly approach him, trying to catch a glance from him, but he continues to avert his eyes. You grow bold enough to tilt his chin towards you, letting your guard down for a moment. 
“You’re such a gentleman, it hurts,” you whisper, slowly letting a smirk grow across your face. The comment makes his shoulders lower, finally relaxing from such a heated moment. 
“Just don’t wanna mess this up with ya,” He murmurs, only letting you and the nearby fireflies hear you, “I enjoy spending time with you.”
You slowly lower your hand to your side, trying to act casually about the confession. But the truth is you want to run and wake up every cow and horse within a 10-mile radius with a squeal of delight. 
“I like spending time with you, too, Joel.”
He takes your hand as you say it, bringing your knuckles up to his lips. His breath is hot on the back of your hand before he says, “Well now, I quite like the sound of that."
taglist (some of y'all can't be tagged, I tried lol)
@midnightdragonzero @casssiopeia @anoverwhelmingdin @notsosecretspy @raindrcpsangel @art-estrange @misstokyo7love @lizzie-cakes @d1lf-loverrr @ashleyfilm 
@blckbrrybasket @cande-beggins @gloryekaterina @lilyevanstan1325 @frogtape @jamesdeerest @mellymbee @arrowsandanchor @polishedtaylor @harrieandharassed @ranahx @youwouldntdownloadapizza @jmillersgirl @wintersquirrel @stefanibear003 @joliettes @startsm00n @abbsfrommars @76bookworm76 @youotterbekiddingme @jodiswiftle
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leidensygdom · 3 months
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The ways in which being asexual feels isolating
I've been pondering whether to post this or not, but I figured out I wanted to explain a bit of this experience.
So, I could go on a very long tangent on how being asexual is usually a lonely experience, and how much I've been otherized here and there- Specially in real life. How the same people that claimed to be queer (or allies) had been much weirder about my asexuality than they were about me being bi/pan or whatever.
But I think I wanna talk about how something like that bleeds in every aspect of socializing, even down to something like fandom. I stay away from fandom usually- I like to look at cool fanart and that's about it. I hate discourse, I hate drama, I hate reading people getting worked up because they're treating fanon as canon. But there's one thing I've noticed, over and over, that just sends me off my rails.
And it's how fandom tends to treat asexuality (or aromanticism). So, you get a character in some piece of media that explicitly, unequivocally, states they're either ace, aro, or both. "I do not have interest in a partner", "I don't desire to have sex nor do I enjoy the topic", whatever. And as an ace person, I do appreciate being able to see myself in media- There isn't many chases where something is established that bluntly.
Now, you decide you want to check some fanart for that. Fandoms have this tendency to make absolutely everything about shipping, even when the media they're basing it in does not revolve about that (and it's annoying, because a lot of times people aren't interested in the actual themes- It's all reduced to shipping). Suddenly, you notice people treating the aforementioned character as anything but aro or ace. It's all about shipping. "This person interacted with this other person in a way two friends would, but we gotta make this their entire personality now". Some people may instead go for "well, maybe the character is not having sex, but they're probably an absolute freak about it, studies it extensively, has encyclopedic knowledge about it-"
Now, there's of course sex-favourable aces, and that's completely valid, but it's already straying from what, canonically, the character had mentioned. Asexual or aromantic characters aren't really allowed to exist as themselves. People often see them as a blank slate to fill, to change, to fix. I could talk forever about how people react to real life aces like that. I've had people asking me incredibly invasive questions because they saw my lack of sexual attraction as something broken, something they could fix.
And I hate that! I think I'm allowed to say that I hate that! It's hard and unusual for media to cement an aro/ace character, because they're defined by the lack of interest for something, which is often hard to show. But when it does- No one seems to care. It's all shipping, it's all "well, he's gay in denial", "well, she's probably super repressed". If you took a canonically gay character and made them straight on a fanfic, you'd get angry people. Which is bound to happen when you erase representation that people identify with. But aro/ace characters are NOT even seen as queer, they're not even seen as "representation" by most people. You can erase that bit of it, put some god awful shipping on top, and people will applaud you. And it sucks!
I wish people would see being aro or ace as an identity worth respecting, not an identity that needs overwriting. It feels a bit too close to how people often treat aro/aces irl, and it sucks. It reeks of this sort of exclusionism, where "aro/aces are technically queer but it's queer lite at best, it's less interesting than being gay, and we kinda don't want them near us anyhow". Again, I've had far worse experiences about being ace than I have about not being straight.
Sorry if the post got long, but I hope this experience may at least resonate with other people who have been struggling with this, too. It has always felt just kind of lonely to be ace, and see how little people do even consider it an identity, even when it comes down to something like fandom.
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ddejavvu · 11 months
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Hi, saw you said stranger things requests and I have one !! Steve and reader going to a party, and he accidentally spills his drink on her short and he panics because he thinks of what happened with Nancy and reader ends up having to comfort him with vodka all over her shirt :,) thank you
From the minute the bronze liquid comes in contact with your cream top, Steve's already reacting strangely. It's like a live wire stabbed through the base of his spine, shooting heated sparks towards his shoulders that tense.
"Hey, I- I'm sorry," He stammers, trying to set the now half-empty cup onto the counter. It doesn't work, and the cup falls to the ground, splashing this time over your feet. You take a hasty step back, and Steve's hands reach out to catch you with too strong of a grip.
"No, don't- I'm sorry," One glance into his eyes and they're alive with the same fever that's tripping up his words, "I'm sorry, don't go, please. Just- just come into the kitchen, please?"
"It's sticky here," You raise and lower your foot a few times, music not helping you assess the situation as it booms in your ears, "Steve, you're-" You grimace at the tight hold of his large hands, "You're squeezing a bit, Steve, let me go."
You try to pull away from him, but that only makes it worse. He holds tighter, pulls harder, and you have to grab his own arm to maneuver him a different way around the island.
"Okay- okay! Just- come this way, god," You hiss, "Steve, 's starting to hurt."
Then you're the only one holding up the embrace; he's dropped you like you're on fire. You don't have time to ponder why, you just keep dragging him through the sea of partygoers and into the semi-isolated kitchen.
"'Kay, can you get some paper towels?" You turn on the faucet, water running cold as you assess the damage to your shirt. When no reply comes, you turn back to Steve, finding him lingering right where you'd left him, his face pale.
"Steve? The paper towels?" You try again, to no avail.
"Steve," You shut off the faucet, feeling liquor slosh through your socks as you step over to him, "What's the matter? Are you okay?"
"I'm sorry. For- ruining your shirt, and squeezing.. too tight."
"It's okay," You hum cautiously, "I can wash it. And it's not like you bruised me. Paper towels?"
"I didn't mean to." He promises, his big brown eyes still blown wide open, "I really didn't. And I can pay for the- for the shirt, like- dry cleaning. I promise. I'm sorry."
"It's alright," You promise, "Steve, it's just a shirt. It's okay, I just need paper towels."
Your prolonged reassurances seem to set him straight, and he looks like a robot rebooting. His eyes flash with something unreadable and he snaps to attention, stumbling backwards and trying to maneuver the unfamiliar kitchen.
"Right. Right, uh- paper towels. They're- here!"
He brandishes the roll towards you almost aggressively, and you wet three beneath the water you've turned back on. He takes the wad from your hand before you can apply it to your stained shirt, dabbing gently at the remains of his solo cup.
"Sorry," He breathes, tongue poking out from between his lips as he focuses on rubbing the stain away.
"It's okay." You remind him, craning your neck up to kiss at his chin. He still looks pale, like he's recovering from a brush with death, but at the feeling of your lips against his chin he looks up at you, and the corners of his lips quirk up into a weak smile.
"It's- uh, not coming out." He murmurs, "I'll have it dry-cleaned, um, tomorrow, I'll take it, and-"
"Okay. We'll figure something out." You keep your voice soothing, although you don't know why you need to, "It's okay, Steve. Hey, do you wanna just go home? We could do a movie night instead - get away from the noise and the people, and I could change my clothes."
"Yeah," He flounders slightly, hand still working to scrub the alcohol off of your shirt, "Yeah, uh- where...?"
"Your place," You decide, "If you don't mind me wearing your shirt?"
His eyes shine now, and his smile seems less rickety, "Yeah. No! No- I don't mind it. My place, and- and my shirt."
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cozage · 9 months
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Hi Coza! Congrats on the milestone! You so deserve it! Can I please have a Law x female Strawhat reader who reunited after they spent the two years together, how do they explain to the rest of the Strawhats that they ended up starting to date during that time (they are still dating now) and how do the strawhats react to the news? Thank you and congrats again!
A/N: I could’ve spent another 12 pages writing about this UGH great prompt friend. (also going to tag @nico-the-witch since they sent me a very similar request FOREVER ago <3)
Characters: female reader x Law Total word count: 1.1k
The Hats or the Hearts
You were dodgy when your crewmates asked you about your two year gap. You were certain that Luffy would feel betrayed by your decision to travel with other pirates, even if it hadn’t been your intention at first. 
You and Law had fallen in love. There was no other way to put it. Your two years had been spent training, but also learning about yourself, and in the softest hours of the night, learning about him. You hadn’t planned to fall in love, especially with another captain. But that was the way your heart chose.
And yet, at the end of the two years, you returned to Sabaody. You couldn’t abandon your family, and Law had respected that. He had business to attend to, anyway. A personal mission he needed to take care of. So you left the crew behind, just the two of you had headed off to Sabaody, and then he left you there to wait for Luffy. 
You should’ve ended things. Both of you knew how impossible it would be for two members of opposing crews to be together. But neither of you could bring yourself to end such a good thing, so you promised to call when you could, and that was that. 
And yet, you still weren’t sure how to break it to Luffy and the others. How do you admit that you spent your two years falling in love while everyone else was isolated on an island, solely focused on their training?
“Luffy, there’s something I need to talk to you about,” you finally said, once the two of you were alone. “It’s about our two year gap. I was-”
“Look!” Luffy shouted, pointing out to sea. “A volcano is erupting! Let’s go there!”
“Listen, Luffy-” you tried again. 
“Wait a minute, Luffy!” Nami shouted over you. 
“Let’s go!” Luffy shouted. He didn’t seem interested in having a heart to heart, though you couldn’t blame him with a fiery sea laid out right in front of him. 
A little while later, you were on the island of Punk Hazard, traveling with Zoro, Luffy, Robin, and Usopp. Your confession and explanation would have to come later. 
Only a few hours, as fate would have it. 
“Oh! It’s you!” Luffy called from atop the beast you rode. “Do you remember me?!”
“He’s the guy we met at the Human Shop in Sabaody,” Zoro murmured. 
You scrambled up to get a better look. A spotted hat and a black cape. But that was impossible, why was he here? He had personal business to take care of. Punk Hazard wasn’t anything important to him. 
“Luffy,” your voice filled with urgency. “There’s something you should know.”
“He’s Trafalgar Law,” Robin reported. “He’s now…”
“Torao!” Luffy shouted. “He helped me get away from the battlefield and treated my wounds.”
“Luffy,” you said again, your eyes still locked on Law. “I need to-”
But he took off running toward Law without listening to your words, and the two captains spoke for several minutes. Your heart sank watching them, watching Law’s eyes flick occasionally to you. This was the last way you wanted your captain to find out about all of this. 
But when Luffy returned, he didn’t say anything about his conversation with Law. You kept waiting for him to bring it up, but you all were being chased by the Navy. Perhaps he knew it was a conversation for later. There were more important tasks to be done. 
Your group raced around the lab and found the rest of your crew, along with some very large children. Ones who appeared to be giants. 
You didn’t rest until everyone was safe in a snowcave, and that’s when you began to notice your crewmates personalities were a little…off. 
“Law switched your minds, didn’t he?” You held back a laugh. Of course he did. He knew the Strawhats wouldn’t be able to leave without being put back into the correct bodies. And you would finally be able to see him again.
“How’d you know?” Nami asked.
“Of course he did!” the random head shouted. “That warlord is the one who cut me up, too!”
“Warlord?!” Luffy shouted, emerging from the snowball he was in. “When did Torao become a warlord?!”
“Within the past two years,” Robin said.
“About ten months ago, if I remember correctly.” Everyone gave you strange looks, and you let out a deep sigh. “Luffy, I really need to talk to you.”
Luffy’s brow furled. He didn’t like the sound of your voice. “What is it?”
You looked around the circle. Better to just tell everyone now and get it over with. “During our two year training time, I sailed with Law and the Heart Pirates.”
There was a long pause. Everyone was looking at their captain, waiting for his response. 
“Torao? Are you sure? He didn’t mention it when I talked to him earlier.”
Law not mentioning or asking about you was odd, but you had to assume he was only doing it out of respect. 
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, Luffy. I was just scared of what you would say. I was afraid you would kick me out of your crew.”
“Why would I kick you out?” Luffy scratched his head in confusion. “Do you want to leave?”
“No!” you cried out. “No, I want to stay with you and everyone. I just…wasn’t sure how you’d take it.”
“Can’t say I blame you for sailing with him,” Nami said. “He’s an interesting character.”
“And quite skilled,” Robin offered up.
But Zoro eyed you warily, trying to figure out your true allegiance. You couldn’t blame him. 
“Luffy, I swear I want to see you become King of the Pirates,” you said, your words genuine. “I think you deserve it more than anyone.”
“Yeah!” Luffy shouted. “But I really don’t know why you were scared to tell me about sailing with Torao. We all did cool things during our time away. Brook toured, Robin joined the Revolutionary Army, and you sailed the sea. It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Except that she served under another captain,” Zoro said, still locked onto you. “Another captain who is coincidentally a warlord who helps the government. And he’s coincidentally on this island with us now.”
“I had no idea he was going to be here, I swear!”
“See Zoro?” Luffy shrugged, clearly not caring about the idea Zoro was alluding to. “She says she didn’t know. She’s still a part of our crew. That’s what matters.”
And you were loyal to the Strawhats. But you were also loyal to the Heart Pirates. You just prayed you’d never have to make a decision between one or the other.
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liliewrites · 13 days
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Let's see then 🤔🤔 Ngl lately I've been having such a hyper fixation on Arlecchino's hands, like not even in a sexual way (although.. 😏), I just think her hands are absolutely beautiful and the prettiest thing I've seen sooo...
Could I request sitting next to Arle while she's working or literally doing whatever and just absentmindedly playing with her hand cause they're just so pretty and how she might react to her s/o liking that part of her so much 🙏 Would NOT complain if it somehow lead to nsfw but I'm perfectly fine with maximum fluff 😌
Honestly, wdym "enough yapping", there is never enough yapping about Arlecchino.. I just think she's neat fr, I wanted to hug her so bad while catching up on the Fontaine story quests as well as her companion quest lol. And I am absolutely here to hype you tf up 😤😤😤💪💪 Keep up the great work as always ! Have a wonderful day
-🔥
HELLLOOOOOOO 🔥 ANONN!!:)) AHAHAHAHAH thank u for the ask, oh yes , FINALLY i have the opportunity to write about arlecchino's hands.. hoyoverse did her justice like oh THEY KNEW what they were doing to the sapphics.
- warning/s ; no smut, but a bit of suggestive content at the end:)
(men please dni utc!)
"hello, darling!"
you cheerfully greeted your wife, whom was working in the study room. she looks at you, nods at you, then looks back at the papers.
"hello my beloved, are the kids asleep?" she asks as you sit down beside her. you nod at her question, scooting over to peek at her papers, but not too close to invade her personal space and interrupt her. "yes, my love. the kids are taking their afternoon nap but.. what are you working on, hm?" you ask, staring down at her hands that held the papers. you could make out numbers and lengthy paragraphs of formal and fancy words, all of which arlecchino was reading and signing.
"just some financial reports, darling. nothing special, i was thinking of expanding our home to better.."
oh, you tried to listen, but as soon as your eyes focused on her hand, it made it hard for you to listen. "... and then we could improve our training facilities.." you heard, absentmindedly nodding at her words. ".. so we could make the children have more.." again, you nodded.
damn it, your wife wouldn't mind it if you held her hand just so you could focus better on her words, right?
so you grabbed her right hand in yours, the one that held the pen. she wasn't using it anyway since she was busy explaining to you her plans and ideals for the orphanage. "- and so i was thinking, beloved. in order to raise the children's competency, i wanted to have them isolated in the mountains, without any kind of support whatsoever. it will help improve their surviv-"
"WHAT? NO!"
you immediately cut her off, looking her with an absurd stare due to her suggestion. how could she even suggest that in the first place?
"of course, no, i wasn't serious with that suggestion, darling. i was testing whether you were listening or not, and you probably were not."
oh, you let out a sheepish chuckle, feeling a teensy bit embarrassed for being caught. regardless, arlecchino did not look upset and squeezed your hand that held hers. "is there something the matter, beloved? usually, you always diligently listen to my reports." she asks, genuinely concerned about you and it makes your heart flutter. it made you feel guilty, having to be distracted by a silly little reason, so you decided to listen to her better this time. "nothing, beloved. my mind was.. just preoccupied. let's talk about it later after you tell me your report." you told her, and arlecchino protested no further, explaining to you all over again her plans for the house.
you definitely did listen better this time, with your hands unconsciously fiddling with her hand. you were pressing on her palm, intertwining your fingers with hers, your thumb tracing small shapes and doodles on her palm. your mind taking little side notes like.. the texture of her hand wasn't that rough, but it was definitely a bit different from normal skin. at first, you were worried if this was causing her pain or any physical harm, but she assured you that it wasn't. still, you wanted to know the cause of her blackened skin and the pattern on her arms.
on the other hand (haha get it), arlecchino told you about expanding the facilities of the orphanage, adding another bedroom to make room for more children, etc etc, much to your relief as none of her plans included isolating them in the mountain.
after she talked, now it was your turn to provide your insights and opinions,adding some suggestions of your own. arlecchino listened to you intently as she greatly appreciated you and your passion for the children, she could tell that you genuinely were concerned about their well being and that you loved them greatly. she couldn't help but spare loving glances at you.. and knowing glances down at her hand. now she thinks she knows why you were so distracted.
after finally putting down your suggestions, you decided it was time for a little break. "well, my beloved. i assume we can wrap this up? i think all that should be fine for now." you told her, placing the pen down. for the whole time you had been talking, you never let go of arlecchino's hand. it was either two hands holding hers, but if you had to write, then only one. this didn't go unnoticed by your wife, but you did forget about it halfway into the discussion.
"i agree, i say we talk about some other thing, my dear."
"hm, like what?" you curiously ask. oh, there's more to talk about?
".. like how you've been distracted the first time i talked, but when you held my hand, your focus seems to have returned. perhaps you'd like to confess, darling?"
you only blink for a minute, then looking down at your hands holding hers. "o-oh! oh, right.." you stuttered, obviously flustered that you've been caught. you looked away, slowly letting go of her hand. "i didn't say to let go now, did i?" she told you, before pulling you on to her lap. she held her hands out in front of you, leaning her chin on your shoulder. "now, beloved, what is it about my hands that interest you so much?" she asked, and you thought for a little while, gather your little notes from earlier.
you intertwined your hands with her, and arlecchino saw the cute smile on your face as you started to talk. "your hands.. they're rough and calloused, they've probably done things humankind would deem twisted and cruel but.." you brought both hands to your lips, pressing a kiss on her skin. the small gesture made arlecchino feel her heart flutter, you looked so adorable on her lap, while speaking words of affection. ".. but these are the very same hands that work hard to provide for me and the children, the same hand that gives me warmth and security even on the coldest of nights and.." your thumb brushed against that one significant ring on her left hand, a ring that matched yours. "- these hands belong to the woman i dearly love."
that was it for arlecchino, she couldn't help but burst in joy- and she showed it in the form of spreading soft, ticklish kisses on your bare neck in front of her. you couldn't help but giggle at your wife's attempts at being playful again. she wrapped her arms tightly around your waist, making you unable to lean away from her. "my, you say such sweet words that directly hit my heart- and you expect the knave not to retaliate with an attack of her own?" she joked, continuing to tickle you, wanting to hear more of you sweet giggles. "i-i get it! i get it, i surrender, my love!" you exclaimed, feigning defeat. as the playful little moment between the both of you died down, arlecchino had her arms wrapped around you, a loving smile on her face as her forehead leaned on your back. "hm, can i have a kiss? as compensation for winning?" she asked, making you laugh at her words. oh, it was funny- more so that it came from the woman whom the public claims as dull and emotionless, as in front of you, said woman was currently looking like a fool in love as she held you in her lap.
you got up and shifted your position on her lap, now facing her. at the sight of your pretty, gorgeous face that she's come to love coupled with your weight pressing down on you-know-where, she couldn't help but feeling a certain type of yearning for you. her hand cupped your chin, pulling you in for a kiss that was not sweet nor innocent in any way. her tongue tied with yours, running along your bottom lip, and continued kissing you with intense fervor that you were unable to keep up. when she pulled away, however, a grin on her face that made shivers run down your spine was plastered on her face. her hand on your chin, the other rested on your hip.
"hm.. beloved, do you want to see what else these hands can do for you?"
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bellabrady · 2 months
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Why many people dislike Tommy Kinard
Listen, I don't like to try and dictate what characters others can like. However, I do find it concerning how quick so many people are to forgive a bigot who didn't even get a proper redemption. So, especially for those who simply don't really remember Tommy, here's a quick recap of him:
Let's start with Chimney Begins. Tommy is one of the firefighters at the 118 when Chimney becomes part of the team. The first thing Tommy says when Chim arrives is 'Hey Eli, did you forget to tip the delivery guy?' On its own, this isn't really bad, because it could very much just be a harmless joke. But in combination with Tommy's behavior throughout the rest of the episode, one could argue the comment has racist undertones. But this one's up to interpretation so let's move on.
Although not explicitly stated, it's very obvious the 118 captain is racist which is reflected in the way he treats him: he only lets him do annoying chores, is a jerk towards him, actively isolates him, and so on.
The rest of the team, including Tommy, does nothing to try and change this. In fact, they actively take part in isolating him too, for example by letting him sit by himself at a tiny table instead of the group table while they eat. Even when Chimney attempts to talk to them, everyone but Eli (the paramedic who ends up training Chim) blatantly ignores him.
One time, Chim and Tommy are alone in the locker room and Chim says: "Hey man, let's build a bridge here." Tommy doesn't even react. Chim keeps making suggestions of things they could talk about, like movies or sports, to which Tommy still doesn't react except by rolling his eyes. Chim then asks: "You just really don't like me much, do you?" and Tommy responds: "If I thought about you at all, honestly, I probably wouldn't."
Mind you, he doesn't even know Chimney and yet he's pretty sure he wouldn't like him. What exactly is he basing that on? Race, perhaps? (Tommy is very close to some other guys on the team by the way.)
Eli tells Chim that the treatment isn't personal and that the reason everyone is so distant is because in this job, friends die and that the team isn't just gonna give Chim their friendship until they earn his respect. "You don't name a puppy until you know it's gonna pull through."
In my opinion this is absolute bullshit though. You cannot tell me every single probie at the 118 has been treated this way for weeks (maybe months? I don't remember exactly). Also, keeping someone at a distance doesn't mean you have to treat them like literal dirt. It's also worth mentioning that once the captain, Tommy and his best friend leave the 118, no probie seems to ever be treated this way again. So if it's about the nature of the job, why wasn't it like this for everyone? So, despite what Eli said, I think Chim's treatment was definitely caused by racism.
Eventually, Chimney is finally allowed out on calls and risks his life to save Tommy's, which basically makes Tommy go: "Oh hey! Maybe I could treat this guy like a human being?" He thanks him for saving his life and from this point on they're friends. I don't know about you guys, but personally I think someone who doesn't see it fit to treat you like a person until you save their life doesn't seem like a very great guy.
Let's move on to Hen Begins. The 118 is still under the same captain, who is also a misogynist. Unlike the racism, this isn't only implied but confirmed.
I've seen people argue that Tommy can't be blamed for not standing up to his captain because that's his boss. And yet, when the captain says "This is our new diversity hire" about Hen, Chimney says, "You know, Cap, there's another way to say that," which immediately proves that Tommy could stand up to him as well, and simply doesn't have the guts.
They treat Hen similarly to the way they treated Chim. Tommy, along with everyone else but Chim, for example throws some gear on the ground before Hen's feet so she takes care of it, not saying so much as a single word to her in the process.
Chim tries to make conversation with Hen and says "I would've bet money that you were from the east coast, you just kinda have that vibe." Hen laughs and says "Thank you for the compliment?" to which Tommy replies: "New York bitchiness is a compliment?"
He doesn't even know Hen and she's done nothing that could be seen as 'bitchy.' Just some good ol' fashioned misogyny. Chim also recognizes that comment for what it is immediately because he goes "woah, woah, nobody said anything like that, come on." Tommy only huffs in annoyance as a response.
The captain then goes on a rant about how training female firefighters is a waste of money and Chim once again stands up for Hen, unlike everybody else, including Tommy, who just lets the misogyny stand.
It isn't until Hen rescues someone on a call that Tommy and his friend admit they wouldn't have found in time, that they finally treat her like a person. You'd think they'd have learned from Chimney that maybe people shouldn't need to prove themselves to you in order for you to treat them like a human being, but apparently not.
Ultimately, the team submits complaints against the captain and supports Hen but if you ask me, this should've happened a lot sooner and not only after they deemed her worthy.
And that's pretty much all we see of Tommy, except for some short scenes in Bobby Begins Again in which he just interacts with his team until he leaves for a different station at the end of the episode. There's no redemption, no proper apology and, if you ask me, considering the fact that he treated Hen the same as Chim, there's also no development.
And yet there are people who will defend this man with their lives as if 90% of his screentime wasn't him being a bigot or at best a coward without the guts to stand up to his bigoted captain.
So yes, personally I think liking Tommy Kinard is weird.
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ingravinoveritas · 7 months
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Go Wilfred! Love their shirt!
Hi there! Well, I did see this post of Georgia's yesterday, and there is a lot happening in this picture/post, of which Wilf's shirt is just one small part, and I definitely have a lot of opinions. Full disclosure, however, before I delve deeper: I am an only child, and my parents have been married for over 50 years, so I am by no means an expert on sibling relationships or blended families. What follows are only thoughts based on my own observations.
For those who didn't see Georgia's post (and I was a bit delayed in seeing it myself, due to the holiday here this week), she posted the photo below of her and David in the DW era, one of her as Jenny, and the family photo above, in that order. This was then followed by the below Insta story of a picture of Ty inside a Dalek:
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What really struck me about this post is that Georgia posted that family photo and wrote the caption about Doctor Who giving her a family...and yet Ty is not in the picture. She very, very easily could have chosen a picture that Ty was in, but seemingly purposely chose not to, and the optics of that alone are questionable. It is my understanding that, in many blended families, the stepchild (in this case, Ty) is sometimes treated differently than the "biological" children, for any number of reasons. Yet David has never once treated Ty as anything other than his own, never once referred to him as his "stepson"--only as his son. So the impression that this post gives is that Georgia thinks of her family as the one she had with David, and Ty somehow "doesn't count" because he was from a previous relationship ("new" family vs. "old").
As I mentioned before, I am not at all an expert on blended families, but I feel as though my impression of this post was further bolstered by what we see in your screenshot @kime11e--Ty commenting asking where he is, and Georgia calling him "needy," followed by her posting that photo in an Insta story as almost an afterthought. I'm just very confused by what kind of mother calls her own child "needy" for wanting to know why he's not in a family photo, because it seems rather cold and heartless on her part. Could this be some sort of inside joke/banter between Georgia and Ty that I am entirely missing? Absolutely. But as we know, in jokes are only funny if we're in on the joke, and the fact is, we have seen Georgia make similar comments about her other children (calling Birdie a drunken accident, lest we forget) so that, to me, suggests this isn't a one-off occurrence.
Which then brings me to Wilf and their shirt in this picture. It is definitely a great shirt, to be sure. And I truly do love that Wilf seems to be so supported and accepted by their parents for exactly who they are. What I keep thinking about, though, is that Wilf is 10 years old, and is starting to or about to start going through puberty and that journey of finding out who they are. I remember how difficult and painful and scary that journey was, navigating the turmoil that was happening inside my body and my mind. The difference, however, is that I went through all of this in private, but Georgia is putting Wilf's journey out on Instagram for the world to see.
What also seems strange is that none of the other kids are wearing shirts that advertise their sexual orientations. Again, this is not about shame, or saying that Wilf should have to hide who they are--and I cannot overstate how beautiful it is that they have such a loving family and a safe place to be themselves, especially at such a young age. It's about the fact that David has been/is being targeted by lunatic homophobic and transphobic bigots in the UK calling him a "groomer" and all sorts of foul and disgusting insults, and I just worry that singling Wilf out in this particular way could have unintended negative consequences. I know folks will say that that seems ridiculous or paranoid and that Wilf of course has people who are looking out for them...but their own parent is the one who posted this on Instagram. And once something is on the Internet--pictures or any personal information--it's out there forever.
So, yes. Those are my (not at all intended to be controversial) thoughts on this new post from Georgia. I know I could be completely off and misinterpreting all this, so I welcome comments from my followers with their thoughts and impressions about all of the above...
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zuyoo · 3 months
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the flowers, one-shot. ﹙ gn!reader ﹚
content warning — profanity, unhealthy relationship, alcohol consumption. characters are in college
zuyoo’s notes — i have surprise at the end mwa. enjoy reading! not proofread bc lazy. reblogs appreciate :<
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frequent arguments with your long-time boyfriend is very common. given his attitude, and how long you’ve known him—you grew used to it. but there’d be specific days where he’d completely isolated himself up and locked you—his girlfriend—out completely. you understand that sometimes, self-isolation is okay. it’s understandable and normal. but this has happened way too many times now, “more than both your fingers and toes could count” too many times… and you grew tired of it.
you’re the girlfriend, his rock, his ride or die, but why can’t he make an exception for you? why does he make you feel like you’re no more than what the rest are? simply, why? you two made a promise to each other that you’d be there for each other, that you’d be each other’s safety pins. but why does the same thing happen over and over again?
whenever he’s in that phase again… ghosting everyone, including you. going on a “healing” vacation by himself, without your knowledge on where he’s headed. and before you could even begin to question him—he’s gone from his apartment.
all you could do was complain to your friends and ask them for advice on how to fix your relationship. which most of them answered with…
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honestly, they have a point. but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.
“the way you love is actually just self-harm at this point, y/n”
“it’s all worth it though. he’s been with me since god knows when.”
“whatever helps you sleep at night. just… take care of yourself sometimes.”
he disassociates himself from everyone — he comes back — he argues with you — and he leaves again. an endless cycle.
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you’re honestly starting to think that you’re the reason why he’s running away. thank god you have your friends (xiao, mostly. since he has the least to say.) to ground you.
though sometimes, you’ll see scaramouche in his living room, glancing at you to check what you’re doing. or even getting closer to your body when he thinks that you’ve already fallen asleep in the bed that you two share.
you know that he’s trying his best.
he just got back from his 3rd trip in the past month, and you have not spoken a word to him at all. you were mad and you wanted him to feel it.
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later that day, he apologized. the scaramouche apologized..
“i’m sorry for not communicating. it was shitty of me, and i feel like a jerk for realizing it this late.”
mouth slightly agape, you didn’t know how to react. scaramouche’s eyes only looked at the ground after seeing your reaction. he had an idea of how upset you must’ve been and he felt like he deserved it if you just ended things with him on the spot—telling him that it’s too late for apologies.
but he flinched when he felt your arms wrap around his standing figure. you two didn’t say a word, but it was like you two were communicating through the fast beating of your hearts.
thank you for the flowers, btw. ﹙ short cont. ﹚
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© zuyoo — do not copy, plagiarize, or translate my work without my permission. i only upload my work in tumblr.
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writeformesinpie · 2 years
Text
A-Z Yandere Prompts w/ Dialogue Starters
A is for... Appetite
“I want to know how you’ll taste between my teeth.”
“I can never get enough of you. I’ll drink you down to the last sip.”
“You look delicious. I won't stop until I’ve eaten every bite.”
B is for... Brand
“I’m going to engrave myself into your very being.”
“We won’t stop until you’re so covered in my scent, no one will dare touch you again.”
“With this tattoo I’ve claimed you.”
C is for... Consequences
“Don’t play with fire if you don’t want to burn.” 
“Don’t complain now – you did this to yourself.” 
“You reap what you sow.”
D is for... Delusion
“This hurts me more than it hurts you.” 
“Why are you acting like you don’t know me?”  
“Why are you running? I did this for you!”
E is for... Eradicate
“You don’t need a job, baby. Your job is being mine.” 
“You’re better off without them anyway.” 
“I removed the problem. You should be thanking me.”
F is for... Forbidden
“You knew what you were getting into when you got involved with me.” 
“They will never let us be together unless we make them.” 
“It’s only taboo to those who’ve never loved like us.”
G is for... Game
“Here kitty, kitty.”
“I don’t know how to lose.” 
“One, two, Daddy is coming for you. Three, four, knocking down your door.”
H is for... Harmless
“I would never hurt you. You know that, right?” 
“Why are you scared?” 
“You’re the only reason worth living for.”
I is for... Isolation
“Why would you want to leave? I’m keeping you here for your own good!”
“There’s nothing left for you but me. Everyone else is gone.” 
“No one will ever find you here.”
J is for... Jealousy
“If his filthy hands touch you again I’ll kill him.” 
“Shouldn’t you be spending more time with me?” 
“I can’t control how I react when your eyes wander.”
K is for... Kidnap
“You say kidnap, I say date. Who’s really to know?” 
“It’s not kidnapping when your soul yearns to be here.” 
“There’s no use trying to run. This is your home now.”
L is for... Lies
“The truth would have just hurt you.” 
“I’m not lying – I bent the truth a little to protect you.” 
“Don’t you believe me?”
M is for... Manipulation
“I’ve done everything for you and this is how you repay me?” 
“If you leave me now I’ll die. I can’t survive without you.” 
“I told you they couldn’t be trusted.”
N is for... Neglect
“Stop ignoring me!” 
“Look at you, you’re skin and bones.” 
“If you won’t take care of yourself I will be forced to do it for you.”
O is for... Obsession
“It’s our anniversary! How could you forget? There isn’t a single thing I don’t remember about you.” 
“So it's a little crush when you fawn over him but it's an obsession when I pay attention to you?” 
“I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. You’re all I can think about.”
P is for... Persistence
“To my dying breath, I’ll never let you go.” 
“I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth. No matter where you run, I’ll catch you.” 
“Did you really think I wouldn’t find you?”
Q is for Quid Pro Quo
“If you do this for me I’ll think about helping you.” 
“Well, I guess it pays to have friends in high places.” 
“You owe me.”
R is for... Restraints
“I’ll let you go when you understand this is where you belong.” 
“Your poor wrists… Maybe next time you’ll do what I say the first time I ask.” 
“The cuffs will come off when you start acting like someone who doesn’t need them.”
S is for... Spoil
“I’d do anything for you, babe. Anything.” 
“Is this okay? Did I do well?”
“Nothing is ever enough for you, is it?”
T is for... Training
“We can do this the hard way or the easy way. It’s up to you.” 
“Haven’t we already moved past this? Do I have to train you again?”
“Patience is a virtue. We’ll keep going until you learn.”
U is for... Unending
“No matter how long you make me wait, our love will never die.” 
“The only way out of this house is death.” 
“There is no end. We are eternal.”
V is for... Voyeur
“Don’t act as if you don’t know me. I've been watching you watch me.” 
“I like you best when you’re sleeping.”  
“If I don’t keep an eye on you, who knows what will happen?”
W is for... Worship
“You’re my whole world, my Goddess. You're more than divine, you’re celestial.” 
“Let me show you what adoration truly looks like.” 
“No matter what you do to me, I’ll worship the very ground you walk on. That's what it means to love someone.”
X is for... XOXO
“I want to hold you but I can’t. Once I do, I know I’ll never stop.” 
“I need to kiss every inch of your skin.” 
“When we part, every caress becomes more agonizing than the last.”
Y is for... Yearn
“I’m aching for your touch.” 
“You’re my oasis. Please don’t leave me thirsting.” 
“You don’t know true pain. I’ll show you what it really means to crave something.”
Z is for... Zealot
“You are my religion.” 
“Words like radical and extremist are just a pseudonym for enthusiastic.” 
“No matter the world, we are fated. Through time and space we will always find each other.”
~Feel free to reblog and use~
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annoyinglandmagazine · 11 months
Text
‘more dangerous and less wise’ I’m sorry WHAT!? Is Tolkien seriously trying to tell us that the freaking Sindar are the feral ones out of all the Elven races? After the entire First Age? As for more dangerous, Galadriel is still here. You know, Feanor 2.0 the only one that actually survived. Using the Elven metric for being batshit insane yes, Mirkwood is weird, but not swearing blood oaths, setting everything on fire, murdering everyone in sight, telling the gods to go fuck themselves, challenging gods to one on one combat insane.
The line of Oropher isn’t even Thingol levels of mental. They’ve never even touched a silmaril or a ring of power! They’re downright sensible by first age standards! They’re arrogant sure, they have low self preservation instincts and seem pretty xenophobic (dwarf stuff). Also depending on your point of view there might be colonist undertones. All of which is just toned down versions of the First Age Sindar. They probably have developed weird customs from living in the murder forest so long and being pretty isolated but there’s nothing to indicate they’re all that bad. I mean they’re still alive and they’re holding on to their kings at a relatively steady rate.
I absolutely agree with takes going around that this is some sort of deliberate protection technique they have to ward off trespassers and that Thranduil is sitting there in his cave coming up with rumours to spread about all the messed up things they do to people. Because in the book they seem kind of chill? And this becomes a million times more funny to me if he bases the rumours off stuff he heard about from Elrond.
As in ‘Yeah we totally eat giant spider meat, that’s definitely a thing we do,’ and everyone’s reacting as horrified and scared or not falling for it while Elrond’s believing every word and just looks sympathetic, ‘Aww you guys have food shortages? I hear you, supplies were pretty shit during all that destruction of an entire continent in the War of Wrath. You know if you wanted more options I wouldn’t recommend raw orc meat before you build up a tolerance but I can defo show you how to butcher them properly!’ Thranduil just staring back at him like ‘Fuck you. I was trying to make up some story to scare children at night with, you guys actually did this shit? How hard is it to come up with something you fucking Noldor haven’t done already?!’
And also: Thranduil proceeds to take out a notepad, ‘Ok so tell me again about what the kinslayers did to interrogate those prisoners?’ And Elrond replies, ‘Oh, that wasn’t Maglor and Maedhros, that was a story about Gil Galad’s army in the War of Wrath.’ Thranduil ‘I’m sorry WHAT the actual fuck.’ Elrond nodding understandingly ‘Too much for the Third Age?’ Thranduil rapidly taking notes ‘No it’s perfect keep it coming.’
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moshpitgamma · 5 months
Note
HIII!!! It's me. The infamous asker ONCE AGAIN!
OKAY. SO THIS ONE IS RLLY WEIRD TO ASK. AND PROBABLY ALSO TOO LONG mfmfngm
Is it alright if I asked for seperate NSFW hcs for Creek and Branch with a submissive fem!reader who is:
generally shy but absolutely LOVES complimenting them in general (just bc she feels like they deserve it despite Creek's ego probably being THE FUCKING WORST)
touch-starved, a bit insecure in general
tends to get easily flustered (who may have a thing for being praised in bed and all that jazz )
but I'd also like to hear what they would say to the reader specifically AJFJKDMGM THANK YOU HAVE A NICE DAY😋😋🤭
Since we all are waiting on the Mega Poll🙄😂 I have decided to feed my Babies till the big story gets decided and hope you have a nice day to Hun🤭🫶🏾
||Separate Nsfw Headcannons||
Creek and Branch x Submissive Fem!Reader
——————————
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•Creek•
🧘‍♂️He just loves it when his baby just boosts his big ass ego and I would like to think he has a massive kink for praise himself.
Will be into degrading and will do it just to see your pretty eyes tear up from pure humiliation.
Will call you cute nicknames in public and WILL call you out from your embarrassment. Don’t worry tho he’s making up for it in bed with his skilled and flexible hands.
If he sees you looking at yourself wrong in the mirror or saying bad things about your image, he is fucking you lopsided while whispering affirmations in your ear. (Will ask you to repeat them while he’s ball deep in your wetness)
You guys have a compliment contest that usually ends up with you guys getting handsy. “Your yoga moves were so graceful bub ” “Well I can show you something even better my sunshine” Creek says as he walks towards you teasingly
Creek likes to sometimes take advantage of his flexibility and loves to put you into those positions that looks hard as hell (but babes he makes you scream from how deep he is😩)
He knows how flustered you get so he gives you playfully spanks throughout the day.
The first time he praised you in bed he could’ve sworn he say stars in your eyes. But you confirmed it turned you on when he called you a good girl and your tail starting wagging vigorously.
You’re not the only one touch starved hun. He’s grabbing, licking, touching, and kneading everywhere he can on your skin
Loves to leave hickeys and love bites all on you just so he can cuddle you and trace those sensitive areas
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•Branch•
When you compliment him he doesn’t know how to act at allll. He’s blushing and sputtering out thank you’s and is whispering some compliments back to you
Since this man has been isolated for some years, seeing you react to his praising is like him finding hella materials for his bunker. This man is playing with your switches and over stimming you with his words (fingers🤭)
Will get real flirty with you and sensual just to see you blush and get caught off guard.
He probably has a praising kink like Creek and just wants to stuff your cunt while you’re thanking him for treating you so well👀
If he finds out you’re being insecure and talking bad about yourself, he is picking you up with no effort and fucking you in front of a mirror till you plead him to stop and take everything you said bad about yourself back
You guys usually go back and forth with compliments and love comments. He’ll use his dirty mind and say a sex joke in the midst of it. “You have such a nice structure and a nice nose” “Well love, how about you come ride it” (I have a thing for big noses ok😢)
Since Creek has flexibility, Branch has strength. Likes to pick you up and fuck you against walls, shelves, and counters for where your legs are dangling and barely touching the floor.
Likes to give teasing touches all over your body to get you flustered
When he first figured out you were into praising it was when he complimented your friendship bracelet making skills and he saw your cheeks turn red and your tail was wagging. (He also picked up on how your thighs rubbed together)
He’s not too big on leaving love marks or bites on your body but loves to fill you up with his seed and loves to make you stare at yourself in the mirror and show him how beautiful you are being filled with his essence…
HOPE YOU BABIES LIKE IT🤭🫶🏾🤍I know it’s not a lot but it’s something🤷🏿‍♀️
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pistatsia · 8 months
Text
Isagi Yoichi: problems with anger expression
Clickbait, right? One would think that what kind of anger expression problems could there be with a guy swearing on the field with war-crime level insults and joyfully bringing a child a few years younger to tears?
The kind where one derives from the the other.
Now, let's figure it out.
To do so, we'll have to go back to Isagi's novel (hoshi801_ translation is used for all of the quotes). From it, we know that Isagi grew up as a quiet and shy child. "He never gets into fights with his friends and never disobeys his teachers."
Nevertheless, it ended quite simply then - thanks to Noa, he learnt how to express his anger and negative feelings. Problem? Only on the football field. The novel says he "was fearless in running into his opponents, as if he had never been a crybaby." 
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He was winning, and what he liked best about football - his football, Noa's football - was the beauty of Noa’s playstyle brutality. Because that's what made it an acceptable outlet for him - fighting with friends is bad, arguing with teachers is not allowed - but on the football pitch you are free. You can be angry. Football became his safe space.
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Except that then Isagi entered the root of all his troubles - Ichinan.
Even before it, the novel mentioned and emphasised Isagi's inability to express himself. For a while, despite this, his plans worked: the coaches let him play the way he wanted, and he didn't have to come into direct conflict with them.
But that trick didn't work in Ichinan - the dream school suddenly turned out to be somehow strange, and Isagi felt that he wasn't allowed to fulfil his potential here.
But no one on the team was unsatisfied by the current system.
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Even before the conversation with the coach where he was ridiculed Isagi had tried to test the waters. Specifically to test - he doesn't say anything outright in fear of being rejected. "Uhm, Tada-kun… don’t you think there’s something wrong with this?" he asks his club mate very cautiously, while in thoughts having more direct “Huh? Am I the only one who thinks that this is ridiculous?”. It's written out separately in the novel that "he watches the expression on Tada's face to see how he'll react" - Isagi already has problems. He's already learnt that he can be rejected if his opinion doesn't coincide with the majority - especially since the conversation wasn't taking place in 'football territory', where he was more or less able to talk straight. 
Having an opinion for Isagi means isolation.
But he still tries one last time - one that finally cracks him up, convincing him that the others know better and he just needs to be patient.
In the novel his friends are "Surprized, seeing the quiet and obedient Isagi talk to the coach" - again, he is used to keeping quiet and not risking. Still, he dares to - and is immediately ridiculed for allegedly trying to "show off". 
And this is what finally kills in him the will to resist. Because losing his friends and football is more terrifying for him than losing himself.
What does the novel says about Isagi after this episode? "He is afraid of being disliked for being assertive", "always timid", "compliant". "When his friends get excited, Isagi would say something like this: “Uh, yeah… me too”."
"He just goes with the flow."
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Isagi agrees with Tada's taste in girls, agrees to eat what he doesn't want to, pleases in every way possible just so he won't be abandoned. He obeys the coach's strategy, and even on the field - the only thing that gave him joy and was a safe place for him - he ends up obeying the rules his surroundings have imposed on him.
He doesn't try to argue, he doesn't try to prove anything - he just chooses the safest path, the one where he doesn't do anything and doesn't fight, but he stays safe. Not abandoned.
What's the conclusion?
Isagi doesn't know how to express anger at all. He just hasn't learnt it because he hasn't tried it. And most importantly, doesn't know how to express it correctly.
Why is it necessary (and important) to know how to anger correctly in the first place? The point is that for the mentality anger is a kind of marker that lets us know when our interests are violated and our needs are not satisfied. Which by its presence helps us to build boundaries and achieve what we need. Anger is the power and energy to change an unpleasant world to suit us and achieve our goals.
But Isagi was shamed for showing negative emotions and for any attempt to express himself. He was shown non-verbally that any expression of self and attempt to argue, even just a different opinion would be received grudgingly, that you had to agree on everything, that if you tried to argue you would be rejected and not only that, you would lose the football.
And Isagi tamps down the anger inside himself - he no longer stands up for himself, and holds back the anger to the last, storing it up inside for years.
He develops a ban on anger.
And in general, not just anger - any negative emotion. He is unable to express even the despair of losing to Kira correctly; he tries to suppress it, to muffle it, the novel explicitly states that he attempts to lock it up inside, but in the end, having overflowed, this despair against his will burst out in a scream. Isagi suppresses all negative feelings in general. Aside from the crying part, this repressed anger is evident even in the first chapter, when he imagines the goalkeeper in tears from defeat, and dreams of crushing Kira. Without saying it out loud, though.
And in that 'against his will' lies the main problem of why exactly anger needs to be lived out properly. 
Because otherwise it'll spill out just like that scream - desperate, seething, expansive, and the worst part?
Uncontrollable.
What is the danger of not controlling the expression of anger? Why can't we just hide it inside and keep smiling, without causing anyone problems and without wasting the resources of our body on it, just adjusting? Yes, in doing so you lose your freedom of expression - so what? 
Because anger doesn't disappear over time. It is put inside layer by layer, day by day. 
And sooner or later you can't hold it back.
In life this rarely ends well: if a person holds themselves to a completely unhealthy level of control they may at some point experience an episode of derealisation - when repressed feelings become so abundant that the brain rolls out one of the strongest self-defence mechanisms - detachment. If it doesn't? One goes off the rails: he overreacts to the smallest of things, he is thrown from one-time hook-ups to drugs and alcohol. The accumulated anger begins to destroy from the insides.
But Isagi, as an adaptation specialist (unconsciously, most likely) has come up with a great answer to this, learnt from childhood and from the show with Noel Noa. Which one? Express anger where it would be considered normal.
Blue Lock with on-field swearing works for Isagi for many reasons at once. He got Bachira, who showed him that there's nothing wrong with expressing his angry-self - he'll be accepted, he would even be welcomed, it's okay to be angry! He got Chigiri and Kunigami, Nanase and Hiori, dozens of people accepting him no matter what (but in personal conflicts outside the field he usually still doesn't know how to behave - he prefers to withdraw and wait for things to resolve themselves - but that's for another time). Here, also, the issue of survival came into play, as expressions of anger and rage were cultivated by the Ego itself, sometimes specifically manipulating the players to do so.
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There's also the application of the familiar pattern of his pre-Ichinan childhood ('I play football as rough as Noa - I'm doing well, I'm not alone, and I achieve my goals because it happens on the field, so it doesn't mean anything'), the general tense atmosphere, and a fair number of trigger characters who would drive even a saint to their grave (heh, Kaiser, heh). Isagi in general has more to do with football than almost all of Blue Lock's characters. Manifestations of anger and determination as a child (on the football field!)? Noa. Manifestations of them now? Blue Lock. He continues to use mechanisms familiar from childhood to protect himself, adapting them to new realities.
(basically, even the fact that Noa is around - who, again, once gave little Isagi the opportunity to express himself openly on the field - can have an impact on the escalation of Isagi's behaviour around Kaiser and Bastards. Whose presence and support is associated with a safe expression of himself)
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like father like son
And uncontrollable anger bursts out, but for now like water from a cracked jug - in jolts, strong and those impossible to shut down, but from just one place. The swearing at the match and the opportunity to openly express himself and his objectives (remember how he shouted at Noa that his system doesn't allow him to score goals hahaha) allowed him to relax, to partially release the anger accumulated over the years - all without any realisation on his part. He doesn't even have to do anything - it all resolved itself. He's not being rejected, he's playing the way he wants to play and yet he's angry! That's great!
And everything seems to be fine, right?
The problem is that Blue Lock's setting just isn't going to work in the long run. Ego will be there for the rest of the project - another 2-3 months - and for training for the World Championship, for the Championship itself, and... that's it. The project ends, Isagi flies off to play in another country, but who can guarantee that the environment for such an expression of anger will be replicated there as well?
At one point, access to the field and, in principle, to the competitive and encouraging environment for such expressions of character in Blue Lock is bound to be cut off. There are gaps between seasons, injuries, end of career, and the simple fact that such expression depends on how much the coach allows to players - at some point Isagi may well be silenced.
And then all the accumulated, bubbling anger inside, which is now used to being expressed regularly, will spill out - and not on the safe field, where much can be blamed on adrenaline, but on his loved ones, his career and himself.
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