#all i do is save money bc i know im never ever going to have a good paying job. so spending money always makes me feel sick

[luck-of-the-drawings]

when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING

[skunkes]

[mydr3aminvi0let]

i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that

[penisliker-moved]

im like *Gets mad at my parents*

[lubrumalis]

ghost headcanons! (realistic)

tw: nsfw, spoilers, dead dove do not eat

a lot of these are based off of my personal understanding of him

part 2 —> character analysis of ghost

general:

didn’t go back to manchester after his family died, too many foul memories—a lot of friends will probably know him as a murderer (comic reference, ghost was accused of killing his family in the newspaper)

has a fit body. a lot of people like to hc him as big and bulky, i think otherwise! its actually a huge disadvantage to be bulky in size as a soldier (logistics while fighting yk). most SAS soldiers are trained for endurance and fitness, i think he has a moreso lean body

hes not cold and ruthless, wouldn’t say hes a big softie either.

VERYYYY punctual. always on time

will not abuse or rape anyone. this guys been through atrocities, he would never do it to someone else

won’t hire a prostitute, ever.

honestly, hes just another dude in the military. he loves dad jokes and bourbon😭

ghost doesn’t think hes mean or tries to be, he simply is intimidating because of his size and way of talking

he likes watching soccer in his free time

gets internally offended if someone thinks hes from london (anywhere but Manchester)

very dark humoured. tell him any dark joke and he wouldn’t care

loves tea

listens to older british bands, like the smiths

cannot understand modern slang at all. what does ‘iykyk’ and ‘rizzler’ mean???

texts like a typical millennial. uses ‘😂’ and ‘😜’ unironically. types with proper grammar and spelling with punctuation too, maybe an occasional LOL

also unironically likes posts about trust issues and being a sigma male. he doesn’t actually think hes one, he just relates to those quotes that are like: “being alone is better than with fakes” 😭😭😭😭

ghost probably hates other men more than misandrists 😕 i think its bc hes always fighting other men and dealing with the cruel things theyve done, so ghost subconsciously feels more on guard with men he doesnt know

has insomnia

doesn’t cry. ghost doesn’t remember the last time he cried.

isn’t rich rich, but has a ton of savings. he doesn’t have a family or spend a lot. so the money piles up.

relationship hcs:

first off, i dont think he’d realistically get into one anyway LMAO

s/o would have to the chasing, i dont think ghost is the kind to actively pursue someone

he has charisma, doesn’t feel like using it

hes very against the idea at first—his family got murdered because he was in the military, you think hes gonna let it happen again?

probably will not like someone working with him as a soldier

i think itd go two ways: a) you are a civilian who aggressively pursues the poor guy and he gives in, b) you work as a military nurse and gradually get to know him, c) you are a longtime close friend of his before he was in the military

i cant see him being fwb with anyone, only one night stands

hes not a toxic partner or super lovey dovey

ghost doesn’t entertain multiple women at once

itd most likely end up in a breakup where he fears for your safety:(((

BUT lets ignore that

tbh, i think he would probably be with someone very empathetic and kind to others. he doesn’t like people overly energetic, too soft, or someone that annoys him

persons gotta be independent and good with long distance

simon doesn’t care about age gaps, but probably wants someone at least in their late twenties

had a hard time opening up, eventually told you everything once he trusts you

another reason why i think he wants someone empathetic is because he has severe trust issues😃😃

last thing he’d care about is looks for long term relationships

the type of guy to disappear for 6 months and reappear to be like “remember im your husband???”🫡

doesn’t let you tell your friends about him—No hes not being uncommitted or toxic, but hes simply being cautious after what happened to his family

you can’t show anyone photos of him, his name, his occupation, NOTHHINGGG

so you fake a name for your bf who your friends think you’re lying about

definitely does not let you post on social media about him either.

installs security in your home, teaches you self defense, and gives you weapons. this guy can be paranoid

will never hit you or lay a hand on you

ghost genuinely thinks you saved him—his life was bleak and empty before you came in. subconsciously thinks of you as a savior

he buys you gifts, does chores for you, he really likes you :(

ghost actively tries to make his voice sound softer and friendlier when hes talking to you

doesnt understand playing mind games, things like the silent treatment or “im ok” when ur not ok thing. just tell him how you feel

doesn’t tell his team about your existence. you and his job are always going to be separate.

avoids talking about what he does in the military. ghost has killed and injured many and he doesn’t want you to see that side of him.

scary dog privileges for SURE

[qprpbj]

i wanna hear ur thoughts on the pony dying at the fountain au thing :)

THANK YOU FOR ASKINGGGG. this entire thing is delusional yap central and 95% johnny based so. im so sorry in advance btw.

well. first. so i think johnny wouldn't have had the instinct to run the way he did trying to protect pony and go to dally's — i cant really remember it tbh but i once saw an interpretation of johnny where he was like. his instincts and actions (stabbing paul without a second thought) were compared to that of almost a child (due to abusive parents and neglect etc etc) when put in the worst case scenario so he makes snap judgements without using his head, whereas pony thinks decisions through and mulls over shit maybe more than he should, which is why johnny just yanks him away and gets them to dally's place. i think johnny wouldn't have had that drive in him bc deep down he knowssss pony's gone, knows there's nobody that needs protecting, so he just. sits. at the fountain with pony in his lap. possibly for hours till the sun comes up, most likely in denial trying to convince himself pony isn't dead. doesn't know where to go or who to tell or what to do, esp bc this kid is already so heavily traumatized as is, he simply doesn't make the best decisions sometimes. just how it goes

then like. i assume someone finds them sitting there eventually, johnny can't even talk, whether it be the gang out looking bc they didn't show up last night or this morning or idk a stranger on a walk or literally idk. but. either way. the sheer difference in how pony's death were to be treated vs bob's?? there's no investigation done even though johnny says it was the socs, it wasn't a suicide, they got jumped and pony got killed. he lists them all by name, says exactly what happened, but there's never gonna be justice for pony bc nobody cares when it's a greaser who gets exploited or tortured or hurt or killed. (justice for tulsa scene where the cop shines a light on two-bit getting jumped and turns a blind eye....hmmm).

i thinkkk soda and darry would take johnny in. i won't harp on how torn up they'd obviously be — think soda's letter but about eight hundred times more nauseating ykwim. they just don't get along right without ponyboy. they lost their parents and they lost their kid brother and nearly johnny too — and nobody ever gets justice. so, it's darry who calls war & it's him who calls the rumble in pony's name. :)

johnny probably stays w them for a while but entirely collapses in on himself — literally rots from the inside out with guilt, bc he had a blade and he didn't use it. whether it be bc he chickened out or he was restrained too hard and wasn't strong enough or whatever the case, he takes on guilt heavyyyy for it. withdraws from the gang, from the curtises, saves up whatever little money he can and runs away to windrixville alone — bc hear me out. i think both him And pony def feel some type of way about bringing grief and sorrow and death wherever they go canonically in some type of way. esp him like..staying with pony's brothers now, probably sleeping in his old bedroom trying to keep pony's memory alive. idk idk. the guilt just goes CRAZYYY so. johnny runs away to an old church dally once suggested to him if he ever needed a place to go to run away — esp bc johnny literally canonically has considered running away before.

gang goes crazy over this obviously. search and search and it takes...who knows, days, weeks, to find him. he's got a bit of money stashed and he's not on the run from cops so he can go out to find food and whatever freely but he wants out, doesn't wanna be around the gang. dally shoots up in bed at like 3am realizing he knows exactly where tf johnny must be and collects them all in a car to drive out and find him. they get there and corner him like he's a lil scared animal shining flashlights in the dark and he pulls his blade on them all when they try to approach him up backed against the wall cause he dipped for a reason, damn it, and he doesn't want to be found. dally always runs away and finds success. the implications of johnny pulling a blade on the gang and on dally (out of fear) who gave him it in the first place?? esp when dally prefaced it by when you use this you have to do this with confidence, you have to really mean it, you can't back down when you pull a blade. idk the implications are There. that's literally where this whole thing came from LOL

that's. all i've got lol. thanks for tuning into this absolute monstrosity of a reply i'm so sorry LOL

[agendabymooner]

𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 !!! 𝐥𝐧𝟒 — 𝐨𝐧𝐞

☼ WHO TF IS LANDO NORRIS?

chapter summary: honey-sue is… honey-sue. she knows who she idolizes (and have a crush on; mason mount), she knows that she’s looking forward to getting the hell out of the university after two years of her masters degree program, and she knows that she doesn’t care about the formula one teams that aren't mercedes amg - she also knows she cares about mick schumacher.

so when her fans (who were coincidentally fans of the sports as well) began to ask her things about her lack of interest, more people (mostly just a group of british youtubers and a certain f1 driver) immediately shifted their attention towards the socially awkward woman as she and her brother got invited to a party in monaco hosted by an f1 driver. newsflash: it wasn’t hosted by either lewis hamilton or george russell.

content warning: use of explicit language, chatfic + tweets, mentions of social anxiety

masterlist

HONEY-SIUUUUU

jideeee 😚😚

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

who dis?

HONEY-SIUUUUU

stfu you know this is your best girl stop capping

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

no? idk who you are

HONEY-SIUUUUU

so if i were to say that i told simon about you using his towel to clean up the mess you made in his room then you wouldn’t be phased about it?

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

naw fam i’m all jokes 😭 don’t tell simon

what’s up, honey??? can’t pay your rent this month?

HONEY-SIUUUUU

oh har har 😒 we all know who’s most likely got more money in her savings

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

and we also know who’s most likely to get someone anything she wants because that someone refuses to use her money on any stupid shit for once

HONEY-SIUUUUU

fuck off i’m being practical. at least i haven’t lost my money to crypto

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

ouch ok. i’m hurt 😒

HONEY-SIUUUUU

anyways. I GOT MY FINAL GRADES BACK 😭😭 I WANNA TELL U FIRST BC I FEEL LIKE YOUD BE MORE EXCITED FOR ME

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

ong??? holy shit, that’s fast. did you make it to the president’s list???

HONEY-SIUUUUU

ok but what do i get when i tell you the result? /jk

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

a pat on the back and congratulations? 🤣

HONEY-SIUUUUU

i’m expecting for something more than that but as long as you’re fulfilling your promises i’m solid

BUT ANYWAYS I GOT THE ONLY 4.0 AND PRESIDENT’S LIST 😭😭😭

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

HOLY SHIIIIT LEZGOOOOO

smart ting you are what the fuckkkkk

happy for you honey!!!!! 😮‍💨

lowk wish i’m there rn to celebrate that with you and the mandem 🙃 stupid boxing trainings

HONEY-SIUUUUU

ugh don’t even worry about it jj 😁😁 i was just v excited to share this to u

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

i’ll make it up to you i promise!!! i’m hella proud of u and ur ability to not even have a breakdown during those days ✊

i gtg tho 🙏 congrats again bro! lmk when ur graduation’s gonna be and what u want for this. i’ll ttyl

HONEY-SIUUUUU

forget about it jj— i was just joking when i said get me sumn

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

it’s a good thing i don’t listen to you whenever you tell me not to get you something huh?

HONEY-SIUUUUU

that’s just your guilt from calling me a sket on harry’s diss track.

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

haha just tell me what u want and i’ll get it sorted out as soon as possible

HAROLDINHO

oi honey

PLONKER

oi harold

HAROLDINHO

i’m at the mailbox rn

u got a package

PLONKER

gee do you ever wonder what the mailboxes are for? 🤔🤔

HAROLDINHO

i was going to bring it upstairs but i guess never mind 😒

a simple “oh really? thanks harry!” would suffice

PLONKER

just get up here and bring it 🤡 you could’ve just brought it up instead of texting me

what’s so special about it that you had to text me before you get up here n e ways??

HAROLDINHO

i dunno. something about it screams fancy.

did you get any bag by chance because this seems a bit too expensive

PLONKER

i don’t buy expensive stuff online???

can you come up so i can open it?

HONEY-SIUUUUU

JJ ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!

LIKE YOURE NOT PULLING MY LEG? AND HARRY’S?!!!

IS THIS REALLY MONACO GP?!

JJ YOU BETTER RESPOND NOW OR IM GONNA BREAK IN YOUR HOUSE AND I KNOW WHERE YOU PUT THE KEYS TO YOUR LAMBO

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

sorry i was on the gym

don’t break into my house

and yes??? you said to get you something right?

HONEY-SIUUUUU

yeah but i was joking 😭😭

this is so cool

but this is expensive. do you take paypal?

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

no tf 🤣

as i said. i’d get you anything you want. but you didn’t tell me what you wanted so i just asked the boys

HONEY-SIUUUUU

you never should’ve listened to harry lmfao

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

lol it was vik and simon who recommended we get you and harry those tickets lololol

i was like “hmm idk what to get her” so they were like get you a trip to monaco or something. they specifically said get you a paddock pass for mercedes

so like go see your michael schumacher or that ken doll you showed me

HONEY-SIUUUUU

jj babes 🤣🙃 mick is in haas

and the fact that we’re taking your jet too 😭😭 you didn’t have to go all out on me

but seriously thank you thank you thank you

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

letting you know as well that will, filly and chunkz are coming along. they got passes from mclaren and all that. it'll be a full plane lol. so it won’t be as overwhelming for you and harry to go alone

HONEY-SIUUUUU

no way?!!!! MY FRIEND FILLYS COMING ?! 😭😭

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

yeah lol

so you have fun in monaco. everything’s been paid for by your personal bank account

HONEY-SIUUUUU

ugh my personal bank account is so fucking amazing

i could give ‘im a lil kiss on the mouth rn 😮‍💨😮‍💨

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

naw don’t do that i don’t think your brother would like that

lmk if there’s anything else you’d like i’ll see what i can do 👍😉

HONEY-SIUUUUU

a little kiss of appreciation on the mouth for you?

SUGAR DADDY JAYJE

no 🤣🤣🤣

RIABISH

hey! i hope this isn’t so weird but you’re honey-sue right? wroetoshaw’s sister?

HONEYSUE

uh hi.

yes it’s me. it does say it on my username and bio. sorry if this is very rude.

RIABISH

no no! all good haha!

i just wanted to confirm! we got the information from will about you. i’ve known the sidemen and your brother but when he mentioned you were coming along to the race in monaco i had to look you up :)

i’m ria btw! i happened to be acquainted with him and filly bc we collab’d with them before. quadrant?

HONEYSUE

i’ve heard of you guys before because will spike a lot about you lots.

RIABISH

all good things i hope 😉

HONEYSUE

haha. yeah.

nice to meet you

RIABISH

likewise :))

we’ve been told of you because apparently you got lucky with ksi getting you free tickets and trip to monaco for the race

HONEYSUE

yeah idk.

i don’t watch formula one as much as i used to years ago. i don’t know much about who’s racing now and whatnot except from whatever’s happening with merc

RIABISH

oh… not at all?

not even mclaren?

HONEYSUE

no. this will be the first time i’ll be watching in a while.

RIABISH

you seem very nice!

listen, will and filly said you’re all flying in at the sunday before the race week begins. lando’s got will, filly and chunkz paddock passes and they’re all hanging around with us quadrant lots for the week.

would you and w2s be interested in coming with us? take you around monaco and get to know each other better since we all live in london and all :))) lando’s been wanting to meet harry for a while so him being in the monaco gp would def work out for all parties. lando will also be hosting a party in his flat in monaco. what do you think??

HONEYSUE

uh

to be honest you’ve lost me at the first message. if you don’t mind— can i ask who lando is? i’m not like any sidemen people— i don’t watch f1 as much as i used to.

i’ve heard of his name before. but that’s because there are people on my twitter saying he’s made references about my videos and songs and whatnot.

i really don’t know who he is

RIABISH

ah right.

that’s alright ;)

lando drives for mclaren and he has the driver number 4. he’s actually one of the members of quadrant. he races and all that! that’s how will and the lots got their passes lol

HONEYSUE

oh okay.

about the invitation.

i think it’s ideal you ask my brother or shoot him a message in insta about it.

he’ll gladly answer

thank you for the offer. i’m sure he’d say yes. i have to go sadly. i’ll talk to you later!

RIABISH

okie. ttyl 👋

MINI HARRY

you absolute knobhead

you call me socially inept all the time yet you’re out here trying to get me to talk to people?!

WILLIAM²

wdym?

oh my god. i am so so sorry

i didn’t think ria would actually be sending and shooting a message to your way

MINI HARRY

you know what

i don’t even care

whatever it’s not like i’d be talking to them anyway.

WILLIAM²

if you’re talking about not being around them during the week nice try.

because harry just said he’d come along with us in monaco before the race. so the chances of you being friends with the quadrant lads are high.

i’m not sure if it’s just me but lando’s more than excited to meet you. harry just ok’d that you two would hang out with us.

MINI HARRY

oh my god. does anybody in my circle ever use their brain?!

[taintedcigs]

skater!eddie is boggling my mind so bad like just eddie alone is so hot and so cool and so dorky and nerdy but now HE ALSO SKATES???

i just know he would own a black board with the hellfire logo underneath. (he lets you draw cute lil doodles on it and smothers u in kisses when u show him the finished product bc he loves it and u so much🥹)

he!! has!! a!! nose!! ring!!!

and he has a dirty black converse that he NEVER EVER TAKES OFF. that white man is probably wearing those converses in the house and you chide him for it so he blushes and quietly says ‘sorry, hun’ and takes them off quickly !!!!! (he also lets u draw little stars on it and insists u put ur initials <33)

skater!eddie who is hooked the moment he first sees u!!! he tries to impress u by doing flips and once u notice him and can’t take ur eyes off of him he gets nervous and trips >:( then u go to ask him if he’s ok and u give him a worried look and he almost MELTS but tries to act all cool “‘m fine! this shit happens all the time, honey, i’m used to it” but once u leave hes screaming in agony.

skater!eddie who teaches u how to skate and he’s so nervous each time you wobble on the board!! he catches u the second you look like u were gonna fall and u giggle at him and hes SOOO SMITTEN and makes stupid pick up lines each time he catches u like “oh! let me tie your shoes so u don’t fall for anyone else, sweetheart” and he has the biggest smuggest grin on his face and winks at u each time <33

and he encourages u no matter how many times u fail or trip >:( he gives u a warm smile as he kisses the top of your head, “you’re doin’ so well princess, wanna try one more?” his heart aches when u get any scrapes, taking care of them the second u come home!! “don’t worry, sweetheart, i’ll take care of it. hey, you want hello kitty plasters or lil puppy ones?” he says giving u a childish grin as he holds the pink plasters in front of u!! carefully placing them as he gives them a lil kiss to heal <33

and when he breaks his board after years of using it hes all grumpy and upset >:( and u feel so bad bc he loved that lil black board sm so u save some money and the first thing you do is ask max where to find the best boards so she helps u get him another one <33 and u draw the hellfire logo by yourself and draw little hearts on it and when u give it to eddie he almost tears up, looking at u with admiration ‘you–you did this all for me?” you nod with a warm smile on your face and the tears are READY to fall from his pretty honey glazed eyes bc no one has ever gotten him anything before, especially not something as expensive as this :(( and he gives u the biggest hug with the sloppiest kiss as he thanks u over and over again, he’s so glad to have you in his life. his honey, his angel, his girl.

i might just write a whole fic for him bc im down so bad for skater!eddie🫡🫡

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

am i the asshole for not wanting to give my mom money?

i am the only person in my family who has a job and makes money, and as such im often the person they come to for money. which im generally fine with, but i also do not make that much. i'd say i probably only make $1k a month, which i have to use about $200+ of monthly to pay for stuff for all the animals in my house, among other things. im also trying to save my money to eventually move out, get a car and possibly go back to college.

but recently it feels like im being used for money, and when i filed my taxes i was forced to do stuff i dont think i was supposed to bc my mom and my step aunt wanted me to get more money.

and now it feels like every single time i talk to my mom it's just about money. her asking me to borrow my card to go to the store, to buy gas so she can drive around everywhere and see her boyfriend or whatever, and we've gotten in fights about the money. she's on like benefits or whatever so she uses the money she gets a month to pay the bills and get food, so im totally fine giving her money sometimes too to help out. but i dont know. whenever i give her my card all i ask is she gives me all my receipts bc i save them to track my spending and i like to limit my spending per month, and she never does. the only time she has ever given me a receipt was the place she gets weed i think which was like $70 alone. i cant even check to see how much is being spent bc my bank is fucking stupid and doesnt let me, so i dont even know how much she's been spending of my money.

i dont know im starting to get depressed bc it feels like all im good for is my money. i think im already down $500+ this month alone and im so stressed out and i feel bad for being stressed about money since im the only one in my house who has it. but it's eating me up that everyone only is relying on me for it, i cant even have a conversation with anyone without money being brought up. i also cant tell my mom no when she asks to use my card bc she'll yell and get pissed off at me and bring up stuff she does to hold it over my head, and anytime i ask to go on the ride to the store with her to make sure not a lot is being spent she says no. sometimes she doesnt give me back my card for over a week. i cant move out my house bc i walk to work, and i help take care of my brothers. idk. i feel selfish for being upset about not wanting to constantly worry about money.

like right now at this moment she wants me to call my bank to see how much i have, and i know she's going to hold it over my head. if i say i dont want to i get yelled at since she has no money to spend. idk anymore.

What are these acronyms?

[rs-wonderland]

the headcanons of the boys as househusbands are so cute <3 i was wondering if you could do it the same but for vil, riddle and azul? :'))

Note{ Hello darling! Im glad you liked my househusbands post, and yes i can do the same for them. I hope you enjoy, have a good day/night, love ya~♡}

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

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Vil

I can see Vil as one of does 'Hey, i really like your dad' type.

Vil is busy man okej? He is a model and all. But since he works from home~

He knows how to cook. But only his healthy food that looks beautiful to the eye and tastes like you ate grass. After he become a father he only then started to cook 'normal' food.

You can always come home to a clean house, and good behaved kids.

Vil takes pride in everything he does so sending you photos of a clean house and some family activities he does with the kids is soooo cute!

Gives you a massage after a long day of work. And probably brings you both (50/50 for the kids) to spa for a weekend.

When he needs to go on work. He will leave the kids with you if posible, if not he brings them with him.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

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Riddle

Riddle wants nothing more than not to be like his parents. Thats it. Riddle will have rules in the house but would never ever force his kids to do things his mother made do.

Knows how to clean, house is very clean, but the cooking... he can't cook to save his life.

Riddle would call you everytime he doesn't know or can't do something. Once your kid called while you were at work saying that Riddle got stuck in the chirstmas tree lights, and you need to get home.

I think he would like to get a pet, a dog actually but it need to be mannered. It didn't turn out well, bc kids lets dog get in the house so Riddle needed to chase him but then they both fall in the mud.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

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Azul

Azul being a househusband is the most funny thing.

Bc he would get up early make his coffe, Jade and Floyd would come over and kids are going to think that there Dad work in FBI, and they wouldn't leave the room.

Azul doesn't clean the house, the twins do that. He is a busy man okej? He needs to bath the kids.

One day you cleary forget that your husband was practicly a fish and brought a golden fish home... Azul didn't look at you the same way from that day.

Doesn't cook for sh!t. He bring the kids and you to a restourant for dinner. Breakfest? Heres the money go to the bakery.

When you are off weekends he will wake you up with breakfest in bed and little rose! It so cute!

[thesrctsoftheuniverse]

so over the weekend (literally two days) i watched 16 of the 18 episodes of season 3....... so here's my thoughts!!!!

i've already professed my love for the characters more than enough but i just need to remind everyone that i am sosososo in love with all these fucking characters, what a truly insanely likeable lineup of different personalities

eddie getting buck to babysit chris so he stops being stuck in a depressive spiral.... genius

the earthquake episodes last season were insane, but the tsunami disaster?????? off the charts. the scenes with buck and chris were fucking beautiful, i love this duo and need more of them NOW. buck cares about that kid so goddamn much. and while tired and injured he saves idk how many more people. the way him and chris are fighting for their lives and then buck is desperately looking for chris all while eddie thinks they're completely safe. eddie was freaking out last season because his son was stuck in a school, but he was calm during this disaster because he was with BUCK. it makes me so emotional. im sosososo glad that i had seen the outcome of chris being found before watching the episode bc idk how people who didnt know that beforehand could handle it. the scene with eddie finding buck with chris' glasses???? im going to start crying. and after all of that for buck being so sure eddie wouldnt trust him anymore only for him to drop off chris again like its nothing?? im going to sob

from what i have read online the lawsuit storyline is a very divisive topic in the fandom. i kind of see both sides. i can see that buck thought his hands were tied and that the only family he had was replacing him. but i know at the same time that it's an overreaction. bobby didnt have any reason to have buck stay on leave for that long when chimney proudly proclaims he went back to work after only a couple of weeks. i understand that bobby cares about buck like a son somewhat, but he was not being fair. buck also shows that he didn't really want to cause as much hurt and friction between them by apologising again and again and not even thinking about accepting the money, going back to the 118 even though he knew they were going to make it difficult for him. it was a tricky situation, but im glad they moved on from it fairly quickly.

the fight club eddie storyline is kind of wild????? also did he ever get any reporcussions from bobby for that??? men will literally do anything but talk about their issues and deal with their feelings. what an insanely gay thing to do.

love eddies conversation with bobby where he starts crying. eddie should cry more often (i say this with love)

lena im in love with you, do you like women?

chris' english teacher is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful

i truly love seeing athena and her family grow and change over time. the relationship between bobby and michael is so important to me. i love them together. and michael's tumor storyline??? heartbreaking.

love albert!

chimney and maddie i love you two soso much you deserve the world, youre so imporant to me. chimney respecting maddies boundaries no matter what.... im gonna cry (A BABY?????????)

the episode of 911 dispatch being taken over might just be one of the best episodes of the series. i especially loved that we got to see characters that other times didnt get as much screentime. LOVE LOVE LOVE JOSH!!!

the athena begins episode is heartbreaking. and beautiful. the closure at the end, with her telling emmet's mother that they made an arrest. how beautiful. really well done. she never gave up on finding that man.

the eddie begins episode is also beautiful. him cutting the fucking rope???? idk how they want me to believe that he swam to safety but whatever..... anyways he loves chris so much and we got to see more of his and shannon's marriage which i loved. to be fair, he was kind of a shitty father and definitely a shitty husband, shannon was clearly not ok and i understand why she left. doesnt make it right, but i understand it. when he gets stuck underground and buck starts losing his mind, screaming, crying, throwing up and bobby gives him /that/ look. oh kill me now. that man was gonna dig by hand .... i love them.

the episode of buck helping that old veteran feel important and not alone at the end of his life? im going to start crying again. buck truly believes that no one will ever love him or choose him or stay with him forever.

michael talking to harry about what being black means when they encounter police was incredibly moving and heartbreaking. but also important. i just love athena's family.

hen hitting that cello girl with the ambulance...... oh i cried so hard, my heart broke for her. karen and her are so amazing together i love them so much, they truly are each other's rock.

i love the buckley siblings. i love the side characters. i love the main characters. i have so many thoughts.

abby....i understand that she had to get away from everything to find herself ok? but she shoudlve just texted or sent a letter to buck just to give him closure and not let him keep haunting her apartment. i dont like them as a couple, this shit has clearly hurt buck deeply and will not be easy for him to get over. she didnt really seem all to apologetic either at the end. i get it but also why did u have to hurt buck by not ever responding and ghosting him????

got so many funny and beautiful scenes this season, it was amazing!!! truly loved every character. it had that gay ass buddie kitchen scene... lol

but anyways....im already done with two episdoes of season 4 so bye

[heliianth]

actually bc im never gonna shut up abt it while im still on this im gonna ramble abt botw and totk and maybe how i wouldve written a sequel . & i will pay u money to listen i promise

my favoritest of totks ideas are what it expands from botw. botws whole atmosphere is drowned in quiet mourning. something bad has happened but it was a long time ago. it still hurts but theres nothing to be done now but move forward. something is still missing but all you can do is find something else. nobody has resources to rebuild and you can hear deafening echoes of better times but the alternative is giving up. you are in this frozen state of not quite moving on and not quite in despair. like the numbness stage of grief. and the pivotal element of all of that is that link is alone. like, oppressively alone. its the primary vehicle of conveying this mood. and its interesting because this can be read not only as what link is experiencing through the player but what zelda is feeling as she holds back ganon. its an interesting contrast to have zelda mature faster than link in the flashbacks, only for link to pull her the rest of the way by growing himself

and the reason why i so strongly adore the light dragon aspect of the plot is because it shows how attached to everything zelda has gotten. arguably, zelda held back ganon in botw because she loved link. in totk, she becomes the light dragon because she loves hyrule, which had previously been so unimaginably cruel to her. the crux of her character is learning that attachment is good. loving is good. you deserve to leave an imprint on the world in a shape of Your choosing instead of being another factory print on a paper. on a surface level, shes making the same choice, but the motivation and growth behind it is really powerful

i could waffle for literally ever about all that and the point is that totk takes these ideas and implements them really well through in-game worldbuilding and specifically zelda turning into the light dragon. i would occasionally get extremely emotional just seeing how things have expanded because it feels like the world is finally moving on. theres a catharsis in seeing hyrule finally heal after knowing its desolation so intimately, especially because the state of the land itself is such a strong parallel to the arcs of the two main characters, so you get the sense that not only can people move on, link and zelda specifically have started to as well. thats my favorite part

thats why i think its an odd choice that they decided on a time travel plot. if zelda HAS to be the one getting saved, if she cant be a companion in some way either via sheikah facetime or spirit tracks shenanigans or whatever, there are lots of ways to do this without her being magic fruit snacked ten bajillion years into the past. why spend all this effort intertwining her and link with the land, only to remove her from the equation and have no further growth? in botw its understandable that hyrule is stagnant and only changes when link does because zelda is stagnant and link is doing the one changing during the game. in totk its the opposite. there are lots of ways to do this with out Having to play as zelda (though honestly that would be the way id go about it)

also a lot of my own ideas have to do with the wasted potential of a place like the depths???? what the hell do you mean theres this mind bogglingly big cavern underneath the entirety of hyrule which mysterious people used to live in and it has almost no story relevance beside being a cool setpiece???????? I FEEL INSANE?!?!??!?!? there are so many good ideas in totk that never get expanded dude FUCK

i think no matter how much i speculate and draft my own preferences of how i wouldve liked totk to elaborate on the things it introduces i cant ever bring myself to present them like they couldve realistically happened and gotten thru the nintendo writing room simply bc of the games format. if it were up to me doing certain story missions would radically change the open world as events happened in real time and thats not the MO of the game's design philosophy. honestly totk's biggest enemy is the memory system and i need to kill it with fire

[awsugar]

Mac what was the book Beemer sent to Frank?

from what i know its a photography book made from the photos that he took on swarm tour. worm has also posted the book a few months ago.

i actually have known about the book since the tour started. long story short, beember interviewed me for the doc (now up in the air if it will ever come out lmfao) at the second mk show in may 2022. then later on when we had made it to barricade he came up to me out of nowhere and held up his phone to me and was like "is this you?..it was a pic of me outside the shrine from the day of the show. i was like wtf...yes. but then i put two and two together. i was like wait....were you the photographer from the shrine?? liek you took the group pic at the end of the show? and he said yes. and i was like why was it never posted!!! no one has ever seen it!!! and he gave me like a smirk idk and walked away. and then like 5 min later he came back and showed me the shrine group pic on his phone. i was like 😮 and anyway at that point he whispered to me "theyre doing a book" and i was like......omfg. first of all i dont know why he revealed this to me out of nowhere. but i was liek ok slay. and i was EXCITED.

and anyway ok heres the thing, im really really confused about it now. because when he TOLD me they were doing a book like. to me that meant, theyere having me take photos on the whole tour so they can release a book at the end of it. and i was really EXCITED about that. because like of the obvious reasons, but also because (especially at this point) i KNOW that he took a ton of photos of my friends and i on barriacde, i was sure that we would be IN the book so i was like what an amazing souvenir and memorabilia of this time of my life...and then time has gone on and now two people are confirmed to HAVE the book. its been ages. it exists. and theyre not teasing it. apparently its for them??? which liek dont get me wrong, thats not confusing. i get why they would want something special to commemorate this tour.

HOWEVER. theres a couple confusing parts of it. first of all, yes its a great memorabilia for them, a great coffee table book, whatever. but you knwo how frank always says that it would be weird if all the art that fans made of him was all over his walls, like miles would end up being a serial killer or whatever, you know. like i dont think any of tjhem are so self obsessed that they hired a photographer just so they could have pics of THEMSELVES. like yes its normal for them to have one, but weird for it to be the sole reason. ALSO. even if it is something they really wanted for themselves, why not sell it? why take so many pics of fans that we'll never see? but like why not SELL it? they could make so much money. we know they love to make so much money. so why not.

and then ok the big one for me is: IF it was always intended as a personal project for band and crew: why post so few of the photos on social media during the tour? cause the thing is, when i thought the book was going to be sold, it made complete sense to me that only like one photo per show was being posted by beemer on insta. because he was saving basically all of them to sort through for the book. and now its like...well if that wasnt the case why havent we seen 99% of the photos from the tour?? bc if you went to any of the shows, you know that beemer literally photographed every single show beginning to end. there are so many THOUSANDS of pictures.

and anyway, yea its a photography book. that i thought was going to be available to us. and im just really.....really....confused that its not....

[elainafinds]

*please read* i need help.

hi everyone, this is a post i never ever ever ever wanted to make. i feel really bad making this actually and scared bc i don’t want it to come off the wrong way at all.. however, as you guys know i recently got surgery. i know i wasn’t open about what but for the sake of this post i will be. on august 30th i got vsg surgery. it’s a weightloss surgery. i’ve been extremely depressed and isolated these past couple years because of how uncomfortable i was in my own skin, and bc i have PCOS and this surgery was essentially to kick start my life again. almost the whole time i’ve been on youtube i’ve been working towards getting this surgery and it already has been one of the best things i’ve ever done for myself. the day before surgery the hospital called to get my payment for the procedure. i was always under the impression that it would be fully covered by my insurance and that the down payment would only be a couple hundred dollars. i’ve been saving up to pay my deductible but then they hit me with the fact that it was actually going to be $2,400. they told me this the day before surgery. i felt like i was going to throw up hearing that bc it’s just something i don’t have. but i needed this surgery. so i had to pay it but it’s borrowed and has to be payed back. my youtube and patreon are my only sources of income since i knew that this surgery and my recovery were going to be my main focus. but even with both of those i don’t make nearly enough to pay back that money on top of everything else. and i haven’t been able to put my full focus into youtube recently and creating bc of the fact that this journey has been so hard for me and a huge adjustment. but also physically since surgery was in my stomach its also hard to sit at my desk right now and put my full energy into creating. so i guess the main purpose of this paragraph is to ask for a little bit of help. i really really have tried to keep things like this of my platform but i’m really struggling and in an extremely tight spot. even a couple dollars would help me. you guys are more than supportive watching my videos and pledging to my patreon and i appreciate you for that more than anything. if you can’t i completely understand and do not feel inclined to. but i don’t know where to turn. i love you so much im so sorry for this i feel terrible. but if you do decide to help out i will make it up to you all with the future of my content. again i feel terrible about this. but i am hopeful that i can get through this hurdle.

my cashapp is $elainaa13

paypal is https://paypal.me/elainasewell?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US

and my venmo is $elaina-sewell

again, i’m sorry for this post but i didn’t expect this to happen. and it’s been weighing on me. i love you all.

likes and shares would also be super appreciated 🥺

[moonjxsung]

haiiii bb✨ i hope you had the best weekend!

i’m still not sure how he managed to do that tbh, i don’t think it’s too easy to achieve😅 so momo is prob safe from that. wasabi is an orange cat, we can’t expect much from him in the braincell department. im glad baby momo is getting better too🫶🏻 we stan her

frfr, idk how people abandon their pets. i’m literally so attached to every animal ever. i see a stray cat at a park and i’ll think of them forever and worry about them too. and people who don’t spay their cats and expect them to be outdoors are such assholes. i’ve had to spay/neuter 10+ cats due to overpopulation in the last two years and i have four more females to go (excluding my own 8 out of 9 cats). it’s insane and so so so sad. the fact that they took off the collar is so stupid too. it really sucks. i cannot comprehend.

star, idk how you do it!!! living where you live in the kpop era must be so hard😭 like, we love the exposure but my bank doesn’t. i sometimes wish i lived somewhere with a lot of kpop concerts but kinda not at the same time bc i just know i couldn’t afford most of them and i’d get the worst case of fomo. i wish you the best at your choice of concerts😂

anddd i didn’t know you stanned nct dream or itzy! follow up: which groups do you stan and who are your biases? i lovveeeee nct! i don’t really stan any ggs aside from twice and new jeans but i’d so love to listen to more so any recs would be gr8!!!

frfr ive never been confident with myself (and ik that’s like my biggest problem bc confidence is so attractive). kpop beauty standards kinda took a toll on me especially after my surgery, grad school, depression worsening etc etc. but ive learned to make delulu my solulu and be like “minho would love me even if im not pretty or skinny” and all is well (what he wouldn’t love about me is that i only eat meat when i absolutely have to bc i hate it😂). i love skincare though so if you ever need to discuss skincare im ur girl🔥 aside from kpop, plushies & cats my ocd also manifests at compulsively buying hundreds of dollars of skincare products🔥

i love you my darling bb. i hope you have the best week!! i’ve never had cheese danishes therefore im so glad i virtually tried them with you💕

-🐈‍⬛

HIIIIIIIII BBYYYY I HOPE YOU HAD THE BEST MONDAY 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

Momo is doing so much better today (she’s currently napping on my freshly washed laundry❤️) so I think it might’ve been a weather thing! Hopefully her itching doesn’t come back but I’m still gonna look into bee pollen and see if it helps :’)

I KNOW I feel so very overprotective of every cat ive ever come across and it baffles me that people are just okay with abandoning their cats like that?? Especially after YEARS of owning them!??? How 😭 I don’t even like leaving momo alone for the day (despite her having an automatic feeder and a water fountain and cameras to watch her every move) so I don’t know how people abandon a cat indefinitely 💔 it’s fr so sad to me

HONESTLY it was so much easier to save money when there weren’t so many kpop things here but now we have kpop stores at every corner with v exclusive merch and preorder benefits and concerts every MONTH I can’t save money for the life of me 😭 I SWEARRRRR I buy some useless kpop thing at least once a week it’s so bad! I’m on a buying ban right now bc I just bought jhope’s on the street merch and that is ALLLL I am letting myself buy for the foreseeable future 🫡 hopefully

I LOOOOOOVE NCT OH MY GOSHHHHH okay list of my groups & biases (I might miss a few so bear w me):

Skz: JISUNGGGGG & Felix is my bias wrecker 🫶💖

Bts: jhope!!!!!!!!! Jin is my bias wrecker!

Nct 127: Yuta & Haechan! Wreckers always change but right now probs Taeyong (enlistment era starts today😔)

Nct Dream: I literally just started getting more serious about being into them despite listening to their music for a while LOL but deffffff Renjun & Haechan! 🫶

Wayv: Xiaojun!!!!

Shinee: Onew ofcccc 👼 and Taemin is my wrecker (he’s everybody’s wrecker tbh)

Ateez: Hongjoong & Seonghwa/Yeosang wreckers!

Seventeen: Hoshi & Minghao!!

Txt: Heuningkai 🫶

G-idle: Minnie! I need to get more into them but she’s defffff my bias oh my god she’s so pretty

P1harmony: I’ve also recently been more into them. Jiung!!

The Boyz: Changmin!

Ikon: Bobby!

Blackpink: MY GIRL ROSÉ 💞

Nmixx: Jiwoo & Lily!!!

Itzy: RYUJIN.

EXO: Minseok!!!!

Twice: Dahyun!

Blitzers: Chris!!

Aespa: Winter!

I also listen to Lsrfm and New Jeans but I don’t have biases (I’m more just a casual listener) but I think that’s everyone!! I LOOOOOOVE NCT THOUGH RAHHHHHHH when I tell you I have been crying alllllll day bc of Taeyong enlistment FUCKKKK IM SO SAD 😭😭😭 did you see Mark and Haechan tried to go to his send off and missed it because their flight was rerouted?? GODDDD I’m so sad for them 😭 I brought my Ty bby to today’s coffee run I miss him already 😔💔

PLEASE kpop beauty standards hit you in the face when you least expect it frfr like I always told myself I didn’t care how I looked in comparison and all of a sudden it was like oh nvmmmm 😀 It comes and goes in waves as of now and lately I’ve been trying to work more on just liking myself as a person (and being delulu because that’s the solution to everything) and I also find that’s the best way to combat it 🫶 ALSO SKINCARE YESSSSS I will absolutely bug you for skincare recs I have the worst habit of buying skincare just for the cute packaging LMFAOOOO I need to buckle down and buy actual cute stuff 😭

I love you so much bby have the best week!!!!! Here’s today’s pc I took just for you 🫶👼 I love u!!!!!

[beesmygod]

What would you say is a good goal checklist for someone trying to move out from a restrictive homelife with their parents in the middle of the woods in Connecticut to a place with at least more interesting people and things to do? I have a bit of money saved up but I don’t have a real desire to live in a specific area, just anywhere but here. Dont have a reliable support network, i just bounce off most internet communities. Asking for advice because I envy your independence

thats a very sweet thing to say when i feel pretty pathetic lately lol.

i think it might be difficult because of how expensive and fucked up everything is right now, so much of my advice from 10 years ago may no longer apply :(

im a pathological worrier so i would try to have a lot of ducks lined up before i left so that i can acclimate to a new environment without the stress of having to burn through my savings. i would move somewhere within driving distance (even if that means staying there overnight or whatever) where you can see your living space for yourself (these zoom tours are huge bullshit lol) before you move. try to move near or with people you know. i got lucky in that my roommate experience was largely positive overall and taught me a lot. but if you dont want that, i would try to move somewhere where someone (a friend or trusted family) can check up on you if something happens. try to see the apartment later in the afternoon after school is out to see how loud the local kids are and if you can hear them through the walls lol

this area of the east coast seems pretty pleasant and the services are better than the majority of the country, so sticking around here wouldnt be a bad idea. i would file for any and all state benefits you qualify for ahead of time after you get an address so that when you have to fight with them about it it only takes one month instead of two lol. try to put 10% of you paycheck aside every month for savings and put it in an actual savings account. try and find a credit union if you can.

get on medicaid if you can and get a physical with the clinic that is going to be "your clinic" from now on. same thing with getting your teeth cleaned. same with behavioral health if you need it. there might be waiting lists to call early bc they dont get any shorter.

then i would start trying to get a job lined up. benefits can help tremendously in case its tough out there in the job market and it takes longer than you thought. once you move, take a few walks to figure out the "mood" of your neighborhood lol. i dont know how to describe this. but it will help you pick up on any local social mores or customs (that sounds too dramatic) or just the vibe of the area.

uuuh im trying to think of other things. the most indulgent advice i can give is hire movers every single time if you can afford it. be ready for them to be late. i never ever want to move ever again in my life i HATE the process of moving. i would walk over broken glass on the rim of a volcano if it meant other people would move boxes for me up and down stairs.

oh shit thats right. ok this is a matter of preference but remember these basic things when picking out an apartment:

do not get a ground floor apartment. thats only if you want to get randomly murdered or creeped on. also everyone who walks by will look into your apartment bc thats just human nature.

all of my apartments were on the top floor (2 or 3) which meant no noise from above. i loved this. but YOU must be the quiet one now.

the higher up the apartment the further you have to walk to take the trash down to the dumpster in snowstorms

i hope all of this helps. my restrictive family wanted to be introduced to my roommates ahead of time which was a little embarrassing but understandable as i was moving in with 3 men. when they immediately realized they were dorks, their hearts were at ease. your family may be the same (maybe) and if your roommates are up for it you can use it as a bargaining chip.