#all i've learned from writing this is that i'm shit at remembering names

[alitgblog]

litg characters I'd cast in romcoms

When Harry Met Sally: Seb as Harry!! Then Genevieve as his ex, Tom as MC's (Sally's) ex, Nicky as Seb's best friend, Elladine as MC's best friend

I actually have this all sorted how this would work out but my post got deleted 😭

Notting Hill: Jin as Hugh Grant's character (forgot his name lol) because in my head he's history nerd so like just imagine him in cozy sweaters okay. He's got that wacky roommate whose name I have also forgotten and naturally if we had to pick from S8, Liam, but I also think Jamal would be a fun pick (make the roommate less wacky and more just fun and wild though). The other version of this is Jake as as the main character with his roommate Tim.

Legally Blonde (and I'm going based off the musical): Literally only here because I know I can cast the lawyers, like clearly Suresh as Warner (and oh lean heavily on the implication that he cheated on MC while they were dating) and Blake or Marisol as Vivienne (I like her being cut throat but still looking for love). I'd really like Hari as Emmett because they have a backstory of working hard for their dream and would have a fun banter with the main character without being overly cheery and also is very competitive when needs to be although may be an underdog, but lowkey could also be anyone that has the very grounded boy next door vibe so like Tyler, Rohan, Jake, James, and Lewie are also good picks imo. The other sorority girls needs to include Chelsea, Thabi, basically any of MC's besties (...minus Amelia). It's hard to think of anyone as Paulette because she's an older character and everyone in the game is pretty young but we can further my Angie x Cora agenda and have it be Angie talking about her lost love and then in comes the hot deliverywoman, Cora. She also has like sage advice vibes when she's in the villa sometimes so I think that works.

She's All That: Gary as the main guy. Eddie as his shitty best friend. I don't know why but this came so quickly to me I'm not sure I'd even have to explain but like Gary gives off cool guy / player vibes but I'd also see him absolutely get into or at least support whatever weird artsy stuff his girlfriend is into and have a character arc and all that.

While You Were Sleeping: the OG "I fell in love with your brother while you were away" story, so clearly Ozzy as Peter, Marshall as the brother, Grace as the girl Ozzy's actually dating

How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days: Because I've already said Gary for a different romcom, I'm inclined to have the suave ladies man esque character be Will or Youcef. I also think an evolved Suresh or Finn or Mason or Levi could work. Often I forget about her but I think Lulu would be a fun whatever Kathryn Hahn's character's name is.

A Cinderella Story (the Hilary Duff version): I think the fandom's go to "I don't wanna do what my dad says" character may be Lucas but I want to give Oliver a chance as the sweet lead even though I remember nothing about his backstory in game. MC's best friend can be someone a little dorky and the only person coming to mind right now is Felix.

Ten Things I Hate About You: Again, a reformed Finn could've been so good. Instead, we're going for mysterious and brooding so I think Joyo is a good choice for Patrick. Then to continue the streak of me remembering S7 characters, I think Raf could be a good Cameron because he's got that innocence and silliness that works. Then we need the friend that gives Raf an explanation of how things work and I could see that going to Andy because he's a little silly and dorky but mostly pretty confident (slightly different vibe from the character but that's fine). Other option, Bruno. In the movie, I believe he also ends up with Kat's best friend, who I just remember being very confident and alternative vibes so I think Najuma, Cora, Bella, or Lottie for her. We also need Kat's sister Bianca, and that could be easy and I say it's Amelia, or we could pick a tolerable option like Bea. There's also the guy Bianca initially has a crush on, and dare I say we pick Toby?? Just a character that's full of nothing. Or it could just be someone pretty like Levi or someone rich and an asshole like Miles or Jasper. All I remember about Bianca's bestie is that she backstabs her at the end and since fusebox hates women that could be a number of characters but my pick is Sophie or Erikah.

I could go on forever so I must I choose to stop now before I get carried away 🤣

[inkedbybarnes]

anything

bucky barnes x fem!reader

summary: bucky is determined to take care of you while you're sick.

word count: 1.6k+

warnings: mentions of insecurities, mentions of illnesses (but vaguely described), fluffy ahh shit bc why not, usage of pet names such as baby and doll. bucky being stubbornly sweet (it is indeed, a warning), lowercase writing.

i've been sick the past few days hence the creation of this fic. idk why my mood drops when i'm sick... once again, this is too fluffy even for my own good but i warned you and you're reading it still anyway. 🤨 haha jk, i hope you enjoy this one! 🩷

dividers by @cafekitsune!

reblogs, comments, and likes are highly appreciated! thank you. ♡

“can you please let me in, baby?"

that was the fifth time bucky had asked the same question, never giving up on his mission to take care of you after learning from jarvis – out of all people... or robots? – that you were sick.

“bucky, i promise, i'm fine. stop trying to break the door,” you answered, your clogged nose not helping as you sounded horrible even with a concrete wall separating you from him. “go and tell steve that you're joining the mission. you can't withdraw yourself just because i'm—achoo!”

your nose began to leak, and you were now distracted with the need to find the tissue box that used to be on your bed. you didn't hear the door clicking open as well as the heavy footsteps of a certain soldier walking towards you.

“just because you're what? sick?”

you jumped, feeling the edge of the bed sink with his weight. you quickly grabbed the tissue box that was mysteriously thrown under the bed before facing bucky with the duvet covering most of your body.

“how did you open the door?”

bucky shrugged. “i broke the doorknob. you didn't say anything about breaking doorknobs.”

you sighed, not winning this argument with bucky. “you shouldn't be here, bucky. you're supposed to be preparing for a mission tomorrow, not babysitting me!”

“and let you go through this on your own? tough chance, doll. i'm your boyfriend for fuck's sake, and don't tell me that you're worried about getting me sick because we both know i'm immune," he argued, reaching out and pulling the blanket down enough to reveal your face. “are you really upset that i want to take care of you? you should be demanding things from me, baby. instead you've been hiding from me.”

“because i don't need anything, bucky. i can handle myself just fine." you huffed, knowing you wanted his attention and care so badly. remembering your face was exposed, you felt insecure again. you dragged the cover back up and turned away. “i also don't want you to see me like this.”

“like what?"

“like a mess," you muttered underneath the sheets. “you've never seen me like this before, and i swear i am the worst when i'm sick. you don't have to see me like this, okay? i don't want you to.”

you felt silly. it was completely normal to get sick, but you hated how extreme your body would act out whenever an illness would attack you. you'd always sound and look like you were fighting a battle in hell alone. the way your mind would take an entire flip and drag you to your lowest point didn't help either. so, not only were you feeling physically horrible, you were also struggling mentally.

“a mess? what mess?” he asked, lifting the cover to join you underneath it which caught you off guard. you were entirely exposed to his eyes now. “there's my girl. where's the mess that you're talking about, huh?”

with the little amount of energy left in you, you brought your hands up to cover your face. he could see how much of a mess you were now, far from the dream you've painted since the day you dated him. now, you were nothing but a nightmare of your reality.

“don't you dare hide from me. i haven't seen you all day and it's driving me insane," he complained, pulling your hands away from yourself. he brought his thumb to your teary eyes, wiping the tears away before they could fall. “i can't believe you're hiding from me just because you think i can't handle seeing you sick. what did you think i'd do once i saw you like this?”

you sniffed, hesitation holding you back from telling him the truth. it's only been three months since you've started dating bucky, and you were still in that stage where you'd constantly try impress him.

you weren't faking yourself, no. however, you still did your best to only show your good side and tuck away your insecurities. unfortunately, you had to get sick too soon and have to risk bucky seeing you this way.

“you thought i'd leave you? won't like you anymore? get turned off or something?”

you nodded, knowing that was exactly what went through your head and a bit pissed that he was able to read your mind without actually having the power to do so.

bucky's eyes softened at your confession, letting out a soft sigh as he saw how badly you were beating yourself up.

“if it's because of how you look right now, then it's true. you do look different," he answered, your chest tightening. “your eyes lost their glow, you're frowning more often, your eyes are all puffy, you are definitely grumpier than usual, your lips are dry and chapped from—”

“okay, i get it, bucky! you don't have to rub it in my fa—”

“but i won't be doing whatever is on your mind. you're sick, doll. it'll affect you. it's normal. hell, i look even worse when i used to get sick, but you? you still look so fucking lovely." he held your face gently, leaning forward to kiss your forehead. “even then, i don't give a fuck on how messy you can get. i'm your boyfriend. i should be taking care of you, helping you feel better, and bringing back the glow in your eyes. please, baby. let me take care of you.”

this time, you were looking back at him. "you mean it?"

"of course I mean it," he replied softly, his voice filled with sincerity. "i love you, doll. i don't care how you look like right now. you could look like a swamp monster and be sick as a dog, and i would still think that you are the most beautiful woman for me."

you giggled softly, his words filling you with warmth and reassurance. you felt so lucky to have a man who truly loved you and handled your insecurities with such understanding and care, and even sillier for thinking he'd leave you for such reasons.

“thank you. that really made me feel better," you told him, your arms slowly creeping forward to hold him. “i'm sorry for hiding. i was just scared to turn you off or anything.”

“are you kidding? i'm trying my best not to hold you down and kiss you all over. i haven't even hugged you for a day,” bucky said, a pout on the verge of forming on his face.

“it hasn't even been a day, bucky. now, who's dramatic?" you said, rolling your eyes playfully. “and you're supposed to be on a mission tomorrow! are you really not going?”

“when i could be here taking care of you?” he asked, as if the answer was already obvious. “the others can handle it. my main priority is to do anything you want and make you feel better.”

“anything?”

he smiled, leaning down to let your lips meet softly. "anything."

( a lil bonus < 3 )

“what is that smell?”

sam, steve, and natasha entered the compound after a quick briefing for their mission tomorrow. they joined tony and clint who were having a casual conversation in the living room about the best burrito in town.

the kitchen was an open space, the aroma of whatever bucky was cooking spreading all around the nearby rooms.

sam didn't hesitate to come closer and inspect the kitchen, finding the entire counter lined up with various spices and plates that bucky filled with his dishes.

“what's the occasion? did i miss something?" sam asked, grabbing a fork to take a little taste until bucky slapped his hand away. "ow! what was that for?"

"hands off." bucky warned, frowning at sam. “that's not for you, wilson."

“not even a nibble? come on, man. it smells amazing!”

their usual bickering caught the attention of the other avengers, immediately joining them in the kitchen which annoyed bucky even more when he saw them eyeing the food he made.

"before any of you try to ask, no. this is not for any of you."

"who's it even for?" natasha asked, the least interested to have a taste, but was curious either way.

bucky answered with your name. "she's sick."

"what? since when?" clint asked, worry flashing across his face. "can we do anything?"

bucky glanced up before hesitantly answering. "well.. she did say she wanted to watch a movie after eating."

clint snapped his fingers and smiled. "i'm on it."

"i'll get jarvis to check on her vitals every hour and create a diagnosis," tony said, already tapping on his smart watch. "assuming she wouldn't be too comfortable letting the entire team know what's going on with her body, i'll just let you receive the updates. just update me with what you can, yeah?"

"i'll talk to fury and let you both have a week free from work," steve offered. "she needs the rest and she needs you."

"oh, i'll handle fury. he can't say no to his favourite," natasha said with a smug smile. "tell her i'll bring her all her favourite snacks once we're back from our mission, and that she better be back to full health so we can go out together."

bucky nodded, chest warming with the genuine concern they shared. he was excited to let you know how loved and deserving of all this you were.

if you have any requests for bucky, send them my way! 💌

[a-random-weeb]

Bsd men when their S/O is on their period

I'm currently making my monthly blood sacrifice, so why not make headcannons? My emotional stability on my period be like: 📉

I get really angry, pissed at everything, clingy, and sad (mostly angry) while on my period, as well as really bad cramps, and the mood swings are horrible, so that's what I'm writing for.

Also, sorry I haven't been writing, remember how I said I was sick? Yeah well I'm so sick I can barely eat, I'm going to school but I constantly feel like I'm gonna throw up, I feel like shit, and that's why I'm posting as much. I've been trying to post once a day though

Characters: Akutagawa, Chuuya, Dazai

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Akutagawa:

•he probably doesn't even know what a period is

•When you begin to get mood swings, he's so confused

•When you explain what a period is, he thinks you're dying

•He offers to call an ambulance, and is so confused when you say it's normal

•you have to bleed your guts out every month and there's nothing you can do about it?

•I mean- he knows what a period is from gin, he's not completely ignorant

•Gin probably never talked about it much though

•she was probably one of those girls who was really embarrassed to be on her period, and still kinda is.

•When you try to struggle explain it's physically impossible, he's even more confused

•he thinks periods are so complicated

•He still secretly thinks you're gonna bleed to death, and is really worried 💀

•He also thinks it's kind of gross😭

"Why are you in so much pain?! You're bleeding?! What the hell?! Wdym, you're dying, do I have to call an ambulance?! .... What do you mean by 'period'? Oh wait, Gina told me about them..."

─── ⋆⋅ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ⋅⋆ ──𓂃········╮-`♡´--`♡´-___________༄-

Chuuya:

•Unlike Akutagawa, he's a little more educated

•He doesn't know EVERYTHING, but he knows a bit

•He definitely knows about the mood swings and cramps from the girls in the Mafia (Gin, Higuchi, Kyouka, Kyoyo ←(idk how to spell her name), ect.)

•He's too afraid to ask questions, he has to keep his pride!

•you both probably got in a big fight because of how angry you get and his anger issues, resulting in you crying and clinging to his side.

•He kind of likes it when you're on your period, even though it's not the end of the world, he treats it like it is

•what? Its an excuse to take care of you. Plus he loves how clingy you are

•He buys you pads or tampons while in your period, aswell as those cute animal heating packs

•He also buys you chocolate.

•He cuddles you while you're having cramps, whispering sweet nothings in your ear as you hold the heating pack to your stomach

•other than the mood swings and cramps, it's pretty normal

•I mean, it doesn't change your whole day-to-day schedule (depending on how bad your cramps are)

"You're on your period? Are you good on pads and whatever? Alright, we can buy more? You want chocolate too? Jeez lady... Oh nononononononono, don't cry, we can get chocolate!"

˖๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖˖๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷

Dazai:

•He feels bad for all the cramps you have

•That doesn't stop him from teasing you though

•He's an asshole about it at first

•Until he learns his lesson

•He's scared of your period after you snap at him

•Though, he finds it adorable when you cuddle up to him, all apologetic after snapping at him

•if he teases you about it... well... He's probably too scared to 💀

•He buys you pads, heating packs, and chocolate with Kunikidas black card

•His excuse is "My baby is on her period, you want her to bleed her guts out in pain?" He guilts Kunikida into letting him use it (manipulative bitch- )

"Oh? My belladonna is on her period is she? Aren't you being a little dramatic about it- I TAKE IT BACK I TAKE IT BACK PLEASE DONT HURT ME!" (he's not serious btw, you're not abusing him 😭)

𐦍༘⋆.𖥔 ݁ ˖*.+𐦍༘⋆.𖥔 ݁ ˖*.+𐦍༘⋆.𖥔 ݁ ˖*.+𐦍༘⋆.𖥔 ݁ ˖*.+𐦍༘⋆.𖥔 ݁ ˖*.

[lanadelnegan]

Tattoo

Pre-apocalypse!Negan x Reader (Negan is y/n's art teacher & also owns a tattoo shop).

Warnings: THIS IS THE FILTHIEST THING I'VE WRITTEN SO FAR and it's just going to get filthier from here on. smut, forbidden love, age-gap (reader is 18, negan is 38), angst, oral (female receiving), lots of sexual tension, slow burnnnn.(there's an actual plot this time), vaginal sex, public sex, breeding, slight daddy kink

Summary: After graduating and leaving behind the man she fell for but couldn't have, y/n decides to get a tattoo that reminds her of him. And he gives it to her.

A/n: ugh, this had me in my feels. A "hard to get" teacher Negan. basically you're negan's former student and he gives you a tattoo and things.. well - just read it.

"Well damn. I don't mean to be sentimental, but I have seriously enjoyed teaching you little shits. I hope you can take what you've learned and apply it to something. Be creative. Oh, and.. don't think about hitting me up on Instagram after this because I don't do social media. That shit is toxic. Remember that, kids."

The bell cuts Negan off before he can finish his inspirational speech. He's always had such a way with words.. should have been an English teacher instead.

Most of the students rush out like the room is on fire, with the exception of a few annoying girls that think he'll jump their bones now that school is out.

"So, Mr. Smith, since you don't have social media, can I get your number at least?" I cringe as she twirls her hair around her finger and her friends giggle obnoxiously behind her.

"Girls. Behave for once. A tip for college? Don't flirt with your professors." He warns while motioning them out the door.

I suddenly realize that my ass has been glued to my seat this entire time and I'm the only one still here. I quickly get up and throw my backpack over one shoulder. He stares at me from the doorway but I just look down as I walk towards him.

"Bye Mr. Smith."

"Nice try. Sit down." He shuts his door and walks back into the room pointing towards my chair for me to sit.

"Mr. Smith, y/n?" He mocks. "Seriously?"

I never call him that. He's always been Negan to me.

I've known him for 4 years now. He's the only art teacher at Alexandria High, and even though I have no interest in art, I've taken his class every year because I do have an interest.. in him.

What he doesn't know is that I've been making mental notes everyday for the past four years about all his interests, personal life, hobbies, you name it.

He loves the color red - because it's the only color expo marker he writes in.

His favorite lunch is two cigarettes and coke zero. I hate that he smokes.

He stopped coaching baseball last year because he said he didn't have time anymore. But I think it's actually because he's never cared for it to begin with.

He had a wife, but she passed away. Some kind of cancer. She's still his computer wallpaper, which tells me he still hasn't moved on even though it was six years ago. My heart hurts for him.

He wasn't lying - he doesn't have social media....I would have found it.

He sits at another student's desk right next to mine with his body facing me.

"You gonna tell me why the hell you look like your best fucking friend just died?"

I stare at the floor next to his shoes and try to think about anything other than fact that I'm never going to see him again.

"Look at me."

I slowly lift my eyes to his and can't stop the tear that escapes the second I see his face.

"Ah, shit." His expression turns serious when he notices my tears. "Look, kid. I -"

"Stop calling me kid." I snap.

He chuckles. "Hate to break it to ya y/n, but you are very much a kid in my eyes, which is why this thing -" he motions his hand towards me. "this.. crush you have on me - has to end today."

My eyes widen as I stare at him speechless. He seriously did not just assume I have a crush on him.

"Did you jus - You seriously think just because a few stupid girls want to get in your pants, it means everyone does?" I scoff. "Unbelievable. You're my teacher. I don't have a crush on you."

He laughs as if we both know I'm lying - which I am.

"Alright, I'm sorry I called you a kid. Now, you wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"It's just I - I'm gonna miss you." I instantly regret saying it.

He nods and looks at the floor, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"I'm sorry. I - I'm just gonna go." I get up to leave, leaving my heart with him. My stomach twists in a knot when I realize he isn't getting up to stop me.

Why would he?

Once I'm in the hall, I turn to take one last look at him. He's bent over with his hands through his hair as if his best friend just died.

Negan's POV: That fucking girl. In my twelve years of teaching, I've never cared about a student like I do her. I care about all of my students, but goddamn it, she's had me wrapped around her finger for longer than I'm comfortable to admit - And I never will. She fucking sucks at hiding her feelings. I knew from the first day she walked into my class that she wanted to jump on my dick. Hell, every girl does. But other girls bat their fake eyelashes at me and tell me how they feel. Y/n.. she's.. obsessed with me. She thinks I didn't notice her doodling my name in her notebook with little hearts. Or that I don't hear her whispering to her friends about the dreams she has about me. Or how she stares at me during lectures like she's on a different planet. And if that's not enough, the girl hates art. Yet she's chosen it as her elective every single year. She has straight A's in every class, but doesn't even try in mine. And yet.. my dumb ass still passed her with an A. Maybe because I'm obsessed with her too.

Back to Y/n's POV:

I cried on the way home that day.

While everyone else celebrated school ending with a party, I stayed in my room and cried while looking at his photo in the yearbook.

While everyone walked across the stage at graduation, my diploma came in the mail and I stayed home holding Negan's lucky baseball bat that he gave me last year.

My last day of junior year, I stayed after school to help Negan clean out his classroom so he could move into a bigger art room. That was the year he quit coaching. I replay the memory in my head more often than I should..

"Why do you have this bat just sitting in the corner?" "It brings me good luck. I hit a home run every game my senior year with that bat." "Your senior year? This bat is that old?!" "Watch it, kid." He rolls his eyes and throws some folders in a bin. "Hmm." I study the bat. "I could use some luck." "Keep it." I look at him confused. "But... it's your-" "I want you to have it." He cuts me off. "Are - Are you sure?" He sighs frustrated. "Do you not want it?" "Well, I mean, I do but -" "Then stop being stubborn and take it."

Ever since that day, his bat has been leaned up against the wall by my bed as a constant reminder of the man I want but can never have.

After a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself, my best friend tried convincing me to do something for myself since my birthday was coming up.

"Y/n, you should.. get your nails done, go buy some new clothes, do.. something. But you need to get out of that room. It's... depressing."

"I think I want a tattoo."

"Oh, okay, yeah. That's a good idea. What are you wanting to get?" She asks from the other end of the phone.

"I dunno." My eyes drift towards the bat. "Something meaningful."

The next day...

Lucille's

The tattoo shop sign reads. I swing the door open, excited for the first time in a month. The sound of tattoo guns and rock music fills the lobby.

"Hey, welcome to Lucille's. Do you have an idea of what you'd like or do you want to see some of our work?" The woman on the other side of the counter pulls out a binder.

"Oh, no, I think I know what I want already." I smile and pull up the picture on my phone before showing her.

"Okay, we can do that. Shouldn't take too long either. An hour tops. I can actually take you now in room 3." The so-called "rooms" aren't actually rooms, but rather closed off sections with tall walls on each side. From where I'm standing, I can't see the people in the tattoo chair, but I can see the top of the tattoo artists' heads if I stand on my tippy-toes.

She leads me to room 3 and I sit in the chair while she gets out the instruments.

"This your first tattoo?"

"Yeah, kinda nervous."

She smiles. "I'd tell you not to worry, but, sorry babe. It's gonna hurt."

I appreciate her honesty and just smile back at her.

"So, where do we want it?" she holds the printed off picture off of the tattoo I want.

I lean back in the chair, putting my legs up, so I'm laying down. I lift my shirt up right above my belly button and slightly pull my shorts down, revealing my pubic bone. "Right here." I point to the left side of where my panty line would be but lower.

After I confirm the placement, she presses the needle to my skin and I bite my bottom lip at the sudden pain that radiates throughout my hip.

"Breathe, babe. You got this."

After a couple seconds, she turns in her chair to load more ink into the gun.

"Y/n?" I hear from the entrance behind me.

I know that voice without turning to look. My eyes widen and the girl tattooing me looks at him.

"Hey boss, you two know each other?" She looks between the two of us.

I look back at him and see him nod at her. "I'll finish her up, Ruby. Thanks." He takes the tattoo gun from her and sits in her chair when she gets up to leave. The scent of leather and cigarettes fills the small room and I realize how much I missed it.

He pauses when he looks down at my skin and I can't tell if he's staring because of my tattoo of choice or because I'm almost completely exposed. If I didn't just shave, half of my pubic hair would be on display to him.

The way he's looking at my skin wakes the butterflies in my stomach and I have to mentally tell myself not to clench my legs together. He looks up at me through heavy eyelids and for the first time in four years, I'm unable to read him. I can't tell if he's disappointed, mad... or turned on...?

He looks back at the tattoo and shakes his head, sighing.

Okay, it's definitely a look of disappointment.

"You realize I have to finish this now that she's already started it, right?" He studies the lines already permanently marked in my skin. The faint purple lines of where the sticker was placed give away the complete outline of what the tattoo will be. "There's still time to change it though."

"What? What do you mean.. change it? I want this one."

"No." Is all he says and my eyes widen in shock at him.

"You can't tell me what to do Negan. I'm an adult, and I'm getting it."

"Why?" He snaps, frustration dripping from his tone.

He looks into my eyes for the first time since he's been in the room and the butterflies in my stomach have now gone wild.

"Because I... I want a piece of you with me always."

He closes his eyes and drops his head. My eyes start to water but I hold them back the best I can.

"Y/n." He shakes his head but to my surprise, he hesitantly places his left hand on my thigh, his fingers dangerously close to the spot I've imagined him touching a million times. The feel of his rough fingers on my bare skin ignites a flame in me I didn't know existed and all I do is stare at his hand.

"Relax." He rolls his eyes and starts the gun. He leans down closer and begins tattooing me.

I have to bite back the moan threatening to escape my lips. With Ruby.. it hurt. But with Negan, it.. almost feels good.

He glances up at me as if he can hear my thoughts and then goes back to gliding a straight line of ink across my skin.

The next few moments are spent in silence, with nothing but the sounds of the tattoo gun and music playing in the distance.

"Fuck, y/n. I'm gonna need these off so I can get to you better." He gestures at my shorts.

My eyes widen but I nod and slide them off, barely breathing now that I'm laying in front of Negan in just my underwear. The way his jaw ticks when he sees that I'm wearing red lace panties doesn't go unnoticed. His favorite color.

He places his hand back on my leg, this time with his fingers completely against my inner thigh. I slightly part my legs without thinking and he pauses to glance at me before continuing with the tattoo.

If he moved his finger half an inch upwards, he would be touching me.

"I never knew you worked at a tattoo shop." I break the silence, hoping to get my mind off his hand.

He chuckles. "I own it, darlin'. And there's a lot you don't know about me."

Another long pause happens before he speaks first this time.

"Why did you take art, y/n?"

"Uh.. I dunno, because I liked it."

He huffs out a laugh. "You liked it... or me?"

I shrug. "Both."

His face turns serious again and he stops the tattoo gun. "All done."

He backs away and motions for me to stand up and look in the mirror in the corner. I stand in front of it, but don't even notice my tattoo because my eyes catch Negan in the mirror staring at my ass. These panties don't leave much to the imagination and my cheeks redden at how much I'm exposed to him.

He suddenly looks up and makes eye contact with me in the mirror. His eyes are darker than usual and filled with lust.

"Come here." He demands and I obey, walking towards him.

Once I'm standing in front of him, he lifts his hands to grab my hips. My belly button is eye level to him and I look down, watching him intensely. His thumbs dig into my hips and he looks at the tattoo.

"Do you like it?" I ask him.

He ignores me and it makes my heart break a little more. "Lay back down, y/n." He gets up to pull the curtain over the entrance of the room.

I do as he says and he comes back, placing a clear tape bandage over the fresh tattoo.

He looks as if he's deep in thought before suddenly sliding his hands underneath my thighs and pulling me closer to him. He pushes my leg aside and rests my other foot in his lap until my legs are completely spread apart in front of him.

"You want me to touch you, y/n? Is that what you want?"

"Yes.."

"Tell me what you want, baby."

"Your mouth."

He chuckles darkly and kisses the inside of my thigh before sliding his fingers under my panties and ripping them apart.

He shoves them in the back of his jean pocket and wraps his arms around my thighs, holding my stomach down with his hands and leaning his head down closer.

"Look at this pretty pussy, baby. So wet for me you're glistening."

His eyes look up at me right before he licks me and my head falls back with pleasure.

He stops suddenly. "Eyes on me, darlin'. How many times have you imagined me between your legs? You're going to watch me eat this pussy, y/n."

I nod, looking at him and he continues. The sound of other people talking in the distance makes my senses even more heightened.

He licks me again, pressing his tongue into me harder this time. He moans as he stops at my clit and gently sucks it into his mouth. I moan and watch him as he looks like he's eating the best meal he's ever had.

"You taste even better than I imagined, baby."

"You.. imagined it?"

"Baby. You aren't the only one who daydreams in class." He says before dipping his tongue deep inside me.

He switches back and forth between licking me and sucking me until my moans get louder and faster.

"Negan, I'm gonna.."

"I know baby, give it to me." He rubs me with his tongue faster until I'm coming apart. His hand quickly covers my mouth and I cry out into his hand.

"Fuck, doll." He groans and adjusts himself through his jeans. "This pussy is about to make me cum in my pants like I'm a fucking teenager again."

"Negan.." I say out of breath. "I wanna touch you. Please."

He stands and picks up my shorts, but not before I see the huge bulge in his pants. He helps me put my shorts on and I look at him confused when he doesn't say anything.

"Nega-"

"No, y/n."

My eyes water with tears as I stand to finish pulling my shorts up. "I - I don't understand."

"This can't happen, baby. I shouldn't have touched you."

I nod. "So that's it, Negan? You get what you want and that's it.. you're just.. done with me?"

"Are you fucking serious? You think I got what I wanted? I'm standing here with a hard-on that's gonna give me a giant case of blue balls. Any other man would throw you on this table and take you right here."

"Then why don't you?!"

"Because I fucking.. I care about you. You happy now? I fucking CARE ABOUT YOU, y/n. And I'm not going to break your heart."

I wipe a tear that runs down my cheek. "You already did." I grab my purse and rush out of the room, stopping in front of Ruby on the way out and pulling out some cash.

"I'm sorry hun." She says empathetically as if she heard everything that just happened.

I cry harder and lay the cash down before leaving and walking to my car. Before I can open my car door, Negan is grabbing my arm and turning me around to face him.

"Goddamn it, listen to me!"

I don't fight him, I just stare at him, noting the hurt in his eyes. My heart hurts and I suddenly feel guilty for making him feel any ounce of pain.

"Y/n.. look.."

"No." I cut him off. "Negan, I'm sorry. This is my fault.. I put you in this situation because I was selfish.. and delusional. I'm so sorry. I'll leave, and you won't have to hear from me or see me again."

He scoffs. "You think that's what I want? I guess you don't know me the way I thought you did."

Before I can say anything else, he crashes his lips to mine and kisses me so hard and but so softly at the same time. His fingers slip through my hair and his hand rests on the back of my neck as he deepens our kiss.

"You're gonna be the death of me, kid."

I bite his lip hard when he calls me kid and our kiss goes from passionate to animalistic. He presses himself flat against me with my back against my car and I feel his hard cock straining against his jeans. His lips travel to my neck and he bites me hard, right before kissing and sucking the sensitive spot.

That's definitely going to leave a mark.

"You have no clue what you do to me, baby." He says in between kisses. His voice is raspier and deeper than usual. "Do you have any idea how many times I've left work and had to rub one out at the thought of you? Hell, sometimes even at work."

I look around the parking lot. It's nighttime but we're still clearly visible in the lights.

"Look at me, y/n. Forget where we are and just focus on me baby." His hand slips into my shorts and it takes him no time to find my soaked entrance since my panties are currently in his back pocket.

"Negan.." I breathe.

He smiles against my lips. "Baby.. You sure this is what you want? Because once I've had you, you're mine."

I nod and he puts his mouth next to my ear.

"Take your shorts off. Now." He pulls his hand from my shorts and sucks my juices off his fingers.

"But, Negan, we're-"

"I said, now y/n. You want me so bad, you're gonna get me wherever and however I say. Now, take your fucking shorts off before I rip them too."

I hesitantly slide my shorts off while looking around again. There aren't any other cars in the parking lot other than a couple of his employees. All the customers left. There's a main road up ahead but we're far enough away where they wouldn't see us unless they we're staring really hard.

"Good girl. Now take my cock out, baby."

He leans his hands against my car on either side of me, trapping me in. I waste no time reaching for the button on his jeans and unzipping him before pulling out his hard, huge cock. It's bigger than I imagined.. a lot bigger. I don't know how that thing is going to even fit in me. He's so hard that the veins in his cock look like they are about to erupt and his tip is already dripping with precum.

I can't help but run my thumb over the tip to collect some and bring it to my mouth to taste him. His eyes darken with lust at the sight of me sucking his precum off my finger.

"Taste good, doll?"

I nod and he chuckles. "There's a lot more where that came from."

He grips the back of my thigh with his hand and pulls my right leg around his waist.

The feeling of his dick rubbing against my wet pussy is enough to make my knees weak. Literally. I almost collapse at the sensation of him rubbing the head against my opening, teasing me. He presses his body closer to me in attempt to hold me up.

"Fuck, look at this dripping pussy." He looks down between us, admiring the view of his cock teasing my wet slit. "It's about to be dripping with my cum in a few minutes.. You ready for me, baby?"

"Yes, please. I need you."

He enters me completely in one swift motion, not giving me anytime to adjust. My walls are stretched further than they've ever been and it feels like the tip of him is buried up to my stomach.

He doesn't move for a moment, but instead looks into my eyes with his cock all the way inside of me. "There you go, baby. Finally getting what you wanted after all these years and taking my dick like a champ."

"Negan.." I moan. "Please.. just fuck me."

He pulls out of me almost completely before slowly pushing himself back in, agonizingly slow. Our bodies are flush against each other and he kisses me again.

"Fuck, baby." He growls. "You. Feel. So. Fucking GOOD." He says between thrusts as my mouth falls open.

I wrap my arms around his neck to hold myself up and lean against him with my lips pressed against his neck. I take the opportunity to mark him back, grabbing his skin between my teeth and sucking hard. He moans so loud that I glance around to make sure no one heard him, but we're still alone.

His thrusts get harder and faster and the sounds coming from his sexy mouth are enough alone to make me cum.

"Look at me, y/n. I want to see your face when you cum all over my cock."

His hand that was on the car behind me slides between us, instantly finding my clit. He begins rubbing circles on it with his middle finger while thrusting his hips into me faster.

I look into his eyes while my arms are still wrapped around his shoulders tightly, keeping me in place. My fingers run through his dark hair and my breathing goes erratic as I feel myself come undone around him.

"You want me to fill you up, baby? You want daddy's cum?"

I nod quickly as tears run down my cheeks from the most intense orgasm I've ever had.

"FUCK, baby." He groans and slams his mouth against mine. I kiss him back as he rides out his orgasm.

He pulls out of me slowly and softly kisses my lips one more time. I go to put my shorts on and he stops me.

"Not so fast, doll." He gets down on his knees in front of me, pushing my legs apart in front of him. "Push daddy's cum out baby. Let me see it drip out of you."

I do as he says and the feeling of his warm seed running down my legs is almost enough to send me over the edge again.

"Look. At. THAT." He swipes up some of his cum from my leg onto his finger and stands back up but not before gently kissing my new tattoo.

I think I love this man.

He rubs his finger along my lips until my mouth opens for him. I suck his fingers clean and moan at the taste of him.

"Y/n." He pushes my hair behind my ear and looks at me seriously. "I meant it when I said I care about you."

"You care about all your students."

"Yeah, but I don't go sticking my dick in them." He smirks and takes my hand, leading me back into the shop.

The others must have already left when - when.. oh.. shit.

"Negan, do you think they saw us?!"

"Well darlin', I was fucking your brains out right next to the door, so I think it's probably safe to assume so." He grins and my eyes widen with horror.

"Do you not care?"

"What can they do, doll? Fire me?" He laughs and leads me to the back where his office is.

"What are we doing in here?"

"Getting matching tattoos, of course."

I stare at him, trying to register what he just said. "You're.. going to give yourself a tattoo?"

He chuckles and hands me a tattoo gun before taking off his shirt and sitting on the couch in the corner.

"No, doll, you are."

Part 2 here

[tsukimefuku]

old regrets and guilt ridden pasts (2) ꕥ higuruma hiromi

part 1 → this part → part 3 (soon) | mdni!

summary: you get home, only to find that hiromi is there ready to talk after your failed attempt to open up about your past. he intends to confront you on that, among other things.

tags: +18!, non-explicit! sex scenes, implied smut, f!reader, established relationship higuruma x reader, little to no cursing, reader is kind of emotionally stunted, romance, mentions of death, grief, angst, fluff, hurt + comfort (a lot of comfort, this is healing).

wc: 1.8k

notes etc.: heavy spoilers for "sand and snow" readers. this might be the loveliest thing i've written to date. thank you so much @redlikerozez for betaing it 🧡 written to the sound of running up that hill (kate bush) and heart skipped a beat (the xx) - the second one is the song that inspired the main scene. as always, i write flawed characters that can (and will) sometimes be assholes, but they're trying their best.

ꕥ collection of stories: "jujutsu partners au" → masterlist for fics listed in chronological order of events

When you came inside your apartment, there were no lights on. However, from the open door to your bedroom, you could see that Hiromi was laying down on your bed, probably fast asleep by this point.

Defeated, you left your things on the table and silently got in the room, stepping inside the bathroom to wash away all the grime and dirt (and hurt) from a godawful day.

'Godawful day' is definitely a good name for having memories of people long gone stirred up and thrown at your face, reviving your grief all over again.

You were still feeling guilty for not having talked to Hiromi about it, unable to not shut him out, yet again.

Why do I keep doing this? I'm such a jerk.

Upon finishing your shower, you came back into the room, and slid yourself into comfortable clothing before laying down beside him. Hiromi had his back turned to you, but he must've felt you on the bed, because he didn't take long to roll himself on the mattress and look at you.

He seemed upset, and with good reason.

"You could have entrusted me with your pain too, you know," Hiromi began, not giving you much time to muster up anything to say. Not even a good night.

You exhaled slowly, trying to collect your thoughts around it all. This day was an absolute rollercoaster of emotions.

"For you to learn my pain, I’d have to explain it, and I just... It is hard to explain exactly what happened and remembering that day," you offered. "Aside from me, Nanami is the only one who also saw it happen."

Hiromi considered what you said for a moment, but you could see the resolute way in which he softly shook his head.

"Still. I can’t fight you every step of the way for you to let me in. I’m your boyfriend."

The word lingered in the atmosphere around you.

He was, in fact, your boyfriend. You had been dating for a while then.

"We’re supposed to share these kinds of things so that we can be there for each other," he stated, a chide with a plead for understanding, while his thumb came up to press softly against your chin.

"I… I know. I’m sorry."

And you were, truly and deeply sorry, for everything. For pushing him into going along with that stupid idea of letting you inside his domain to get rid of your cursed technique temporarily, for retreating back into yourself when things grew dire, and for not letting him in when he expressly asked you to.

"What are you so afraid of?" Hiromi asked, in earnest.

You took some time to think about his question.

What were you so afraid of, after all, that you couldn't let him in — or at least felt like it, many times? 

Then, you realized.

"I'm scared that… That you will leave me too," you began, "I'm terrified that I will have opened myself up, all vulnerable and shit, and then for some reason, I'm left alone again. That's a recurring theme in my life."

"My love, in case that ever happens, keeping me at arms length won’t make it hurt any less."

You chuckled bitterly.

"Funny you should say that. I said the same thing earlier today."

Hiromi edged himself closer softly under the covers, approaching you gently.

"It takes one to know one, right?" he offered, in a kind and loving voice.

"I guess it does," you answered with a minute smile on your face.

"So, will you let me in now?" he inquired, holding your gaze. "Please."

You knew he'd surely be aware of at least the gist of the story, due to the evidence inside the envelope he never got to open before you confessed to your brother's "murder".

Still, it was different. He had to hear you say it, tell him the whole story.

So, you inhaled deeply, ready to dive in the murky lake of your past, before proceeding.

"My brother. He was…" considering for a moment, there was no word that could really convey it. Not entirely. You settled for "everything."

A sigh.

"He was… The sun to my moon. My brother was the laughter, the joy, the silly jokes, the shoes thrown around the house, the noise, the annoyance, the smell of curry in the kitchen, the helping hand, the coming home to, no matter how dire things got."

Silence.

"And then, in one night, there was… none of him anymore. Nothing, just his cold dead body laying on the ground."

A moment that felt like ten.

"I… We were twins, and a part of me, I guess… just died with him. I don’t think I’ll ever get it back. So here I am, still living with this hole inside me, where some piece used to be. His piece."

Hiromi stayed quiet for a second, pulling your knuckles kindly against his lips.

"My sun is gone, and I'm drifting, untethered. I…" You took a heavy huff of air inside your lungs. Yet, you were still breathless, the ache weighing on your thorax like a hydraulic press.

"This grief is like a tar pit, and no matter what I do, this faceless monster just keeps sucking me under." 

Your last words dropped to the drum of a eulogy, the one you never got to do.

His palm descended lightly on your cheek as the night breeze gently brushed over the window. The room was dark, dimly lit by moonlight and streetlamps bleeding through the curtain, but it became remarkably quiet. Silent.

Cotton filled ears while the world stopped moving for a second, waiting under a muted heartbeat.

One. Two. Three. Four beats.

His gaze softened — rather than darkened — as his lips approached, all pacify, and yearning, and empathy, and commiseration. Upon contact, your eyes fluttered into a deeper dimness, letting your mind drift around, away and back again, as he began his first attempt to tether you.

You may have lost your sun, but you wouldn't keep drifting away, not anymore.

He wouldn't let that happen.

My love…

Yes?

Eyes on me.

One. Two. Three. Four beats.

Okay.

Dexterous hands pulled you back to Earth, drawing you deeper into his orbit when they fit themselves securely and unfaltering against your waist.

Warm digits kneaded over the celestial wanderer drowned in the tar pit of painful remembrance.

Your senses thickened, your pupils grew wider, and your touch found the nape of his neck, seeking the halo of his comfort.

He was always so comfortable.

Just like coming home to.

He felt at home in you, too.

Another kiss. Gentler. Kinder.

The dark against your fluttered-shut eyelids didn't steal you away from him again, though. He had placed himself firmly around you, with an inevitable gravitational pull, all understanding, warm and welcoming, with the soft press of his entire body against yours.

Your senses heightened — you smelled him, touched him, heard him, felt him. The rhythm of his breath, now softly hitched. His chest, up and down, pulsing with longing. His skin, silvery glow under the moonlight. 

Hiromi smelled…

Well, he smelled like Hiromi.

The best smell there was.

Earthly bound, finally.

His mouth, teeth, lips, all made their way to slit themselves against the edge of your jaw.

May I?

Please.

One, two, three, four beats.

A sharp exhale leaves your lips as his teeth sink against the softness of your chin, crawling up to your mouth, hot breaths mixing with one another, two stardust clouds melting together.

He bit your bottom lip and let it go, then brushed his own mouth against yours. So feathery. So delicate.

Another kiss.

You lock against each other with little to no exploration — you've walked these paths before. You do so with the soft embrace of familiarity. The velvety reassurance of known lovers.

All to the gravitational beat that surrounded you both.

You grasped each other's hands against your clothes, and gentle as could be, the fabric slowly unraveled itself from your bodies, sliding their delicate way down the floor, forgotten.

Hiromi began nosing his way down your skin, but your hands cupped his jaw, pulling him back.

A pause.

Four heartbeats.

Eyes on me, remember?

A huff, almost a laugh, and the kindest peck.

Okay, my love.

His hand made its way under the duvet, all electric, and liquid, and cold, and hot, pressing the air out of your lungs. He was happy to inhale you in, open-mouthed and muddy, as you hitched and whimpered to his rhythm.

You were quick to fall apart, undoing to him, arching your entire body. Almost losing yourself.

But he pulled you back, the other hand resting over your shoulder blades, remembering you.

Eyes on me.

As you tried descending yourself, he held you back. 

This time, it would be all about you.

Gently pulling you under, his thumbs brushed against your shoulders with tenderness. His eyes flickered with trepidation and affection, as your foreheads pressed to one another. Hiromi pushed and sunk slowly into you, hooked nose snuggled beside yours.

To say he was making love to you wouldn’t be wrong, but paled in comparison to this.

He was loving you tenderly, honestly, just so you could take some of that love he poured into you and give it to yourself, filling the gaping hole left behind by an abrupt absence. The forever and always empty seat in the front row of your life.

He pleaded internally, please, may this be enough.

He was loving you so wholeheartedly, giving you all the warmth you offered to most people but yourself, that you could’ve wept — you probably did, the dampening on his cheek brushing against yours made that evident.

"Touch me." Love me.

"Yes." I do. I will.

Hiromi tried, kind and gentle, loving this grief into vanishing, willing it into non-existence. 

My love. My whole, entire love.

But he couldn't, it was engraved in black all over your flesh, your bones, and your soul.

Each kiss while he wrapped his arms around you, tucking you underneath him, was an attempt at chipping away on your armor of pain and loss.

As he rocked your hips gently, he imprinted on your skin every inch of affection you needed to soothe yourself, but you were finding it difficult to pick up these pieces and ensemble the puzzle.

You found it hard to let all your guilt go, after all. It was already an old companion of sorts.

Drinking your voice in as you tipped over the fall, he thought for a moment, could I steal her pain away?

He'd do it in a single heartbeat if he could, if only to repay you for saving him after he had gone past the point of no return.

Some days after that, coming back to this moment, you would finally understand other people's shortcomings from a deeply personal and subjective perspective.

It was hard, after all, being forgiven without forgiving yourself.

Tag list (that I keep forgetting, sorry): @yammy-yammy-yama @g-kleran @otomesass

Reblog divider by @benkeibear

[generalkenobee]

A/N: ok so I know this probably won't get many likes or anything but I literally love Chase sm so I need to write this just for my well being because I've loved him since I was like ten, hope you enjoy 💖🩷

Warnings: sfw and nsfw headcannons, aged up!!!, FEM reader (kinda)

SFW headcannons

•hand holding is such a must with him

•he gives the best hugs, especially when he's in his black sweatpants and sleep sweater because everything is just so warm and gentle

•hes insanely touch starved

•Chase has never had a partner before you so you have to be patient with him, for example

-(Y/N), I don't know why you asked me for help with your homework, it was super easy

He would say laughing, not realizing that he hurt your feelings because you genuinely needed help

-(Y/N), I can't hold your hand right now I'm clearly working on this

Chase would say annoyed while still looking at the screen of his computer

•after a while and some help from you he's learned that a relationship takes time and consideration

•my man lovessss your stomach, no matter the size or if you have cellulite, stretch marks, he loves it so much

•loves to kiss you everywhere, especially because the whole touch starved thing. Chase is always placing a quick kiss to your cheek while he walks by you, first thing he does in the morning and before he goes to bed is kiss you

•physically can't sleep if you're not in the bed next to him

•nicknames he calls you

-sweetheart

-baby

-honey

•whenever he writes your name he always puts a little heart next to it

•usually falls asleep with his head resting on your chest with steady breathing

•loves to have you run your fingers through his hair while he falls asleep and scratch his scalp

•loves when you kiss all his moles and freckles, just basic beauty marks because it shows that you love every part of him

•he gets incredibly jealous of everyone. He's not used to people picking him and genuinely wanting to be with him over Adam for example

•always has mints, gum, or breath, spray on hand

•he takes extra precautions before seeing you (brushing his hair four times, showing twice, brushing his teeth over and over again, making sure hes wearing an outfit he'll know you'll like)

•soooo good with kids

NSFW headcannons

•lovessss when you pull his hair

•so loud, like soooo insanely loud. Moans, groans, and when he gets close whimpers

•he loves when you cockwarm him while he plays video games or when he's working on something

•eye contact while he trusts up into you, it's almost like his way of thanking you for being so vulnerable with him

•things chase says during sex

-s-shit..you feel so warm..s-so welcoming baby..

-this all for me?

-thank you thank you thank you..

-I love you so much...

-its so deep..I-I can feel all of you...

•chase tries not to ever cuss, he thinks there's smarter words to use..but when he's close it's like a whole new person

-f-fuck..fucking shit baby I'm oh my god I'm gonna, aungh..

•this one time you let spike fuck you and chase got upset because he didn't remember any of it, and he also felt jealous for some reason?

•sometimes when you walk by, you'll slap him on the ass through his jeans and he jumps up in fear every time

•lightly grazes his teeth over your neck during sex and you can feel his hot breath against your pulse..

•I feel like he really wants to cum on your face but is way to scared to ask

I HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO SAY ABOUT HIM SO IF YOU HAVE A REQUEST PLEASE SEND IT IN:)))

[spider-man-199999]

Paris to Tokyo

pairing: college!Peter Parker x Reader: 18+; academic rivals to lovers

word count: 5K

warnings: smut; slight angst; unpotected sex

summary: You start your new life at college, expecting it to be the most exciting time of your life, only to be met with Peter Parker, who decided to dedicate his free time to making your life a living hell

a/n: I've been dying to write an enemies to lovers type of fic, it's also my first time writing anything with suggestive content in it, so bear with me please. The heading is the most random thing I could come up with I'm sorry

College was the place you were looking forward to the most since you graduated high school. It was supposed to be a place where you met people with similar interest, went out with them to have fun and engage in intellectual converstaions. And it was exactly like that, for the most part. Growing up as a natuarally intelligent kid had you been putting little to no effort in school and always got you good grades. This quickly escalated into you trying a bit harder with each test and striving for more academic validation. At some point you even managed to become the best student in your class. But sitting hours on end on a desk and studying was still something very foreign to you. Sure, you would revise from time to time on topics that were harder to remember or things you couldn't recall from class, but it never went further than that. And maybe a degree in Biophysic was not the wisest idea given that backgroung. So, when college came around and you started the new classes on topics your common knowledge could barely help you keep up with, things went downhill very fast. For the first time you were faced with faliure, hard work and putting hours on end to study. It felt like everyone around you was more knowledgeable, more prepared, more educated on literally any topic that was discussed in and outside of class. Being at the bottom of the academic foodchain was mildy infuriating, to say the least.

And after the first few months of sleepless nights, filling up all of the holes so you could catch up to speed, you finally did it, and it felt more rewarding than anything else. This assisted you into making casual conversations with so many people from your different classes, one of them even inviting you to a study group that had been going on for months. You happily agreed to that idea, thinking it would be the best way to keep up with everyone in the class, not only academically but socically as well.

The day of the study group finally arrived on what seemed like the most normal, yet the most exciting Tuesday. They added you to a groupchat, everyone texting back and forth until all of you had agreed to go grab a coffee before heading to the library. You had tried your best to look presentable for this study date, putting on some white wide-leg dress pants and a neat navy blue t-shit that hugged your body very well. You hair was in a sleek bun, having a white buttonup because the weather was slightly chilly. Almost everyone had arrived there on time, which took you by surprise since you were used to being the only one being on time. After the cheerful greeting and formally learning everyone's names, you went inside and grabbed a coffee, returning to them promptly. You stood by the door, since the group had formed a circle around the entrance of the small shop.

"Was I the last one?" You asked concerned, looking around and counting the people.

"Actually, we're waiting for Peter" Someone said, everyone giggling softly and shaking their head.

"Who's Peter?" You asked, and as soon as you did, you felt something push againt your shoulder, sending you a step forward so you wouldn't come crashing down from losing your balance.

"I'M SO SORRY" you heard from behind you, turning around to see a boy with a worried expression on his face, paper cup in his hand. He was handsome, hair pushed back, warm eyes and nervous smile, leather jacked over a black t-shirt.

"That's Peter" someone stated, pulling you out of your trance. Peter chuckled, moving past you and motioning for everyone to go, since he was the one you all had been waiting for.

On the walk there you kept staring at the back of Peter's head, annoyed that he pushed you with the door, frusrated because he didn't even bother to introduce himself to you. Not that he really had to, you already knew well enough who he was. The guy who always came in rushing because he was late, somehow still managed to sit directly in front of you, blocking your view, no matter where you sat. He was the guy that would beat you to every question, the one who would always have the best grade on the tests. He leaned way too back in his seat, back pressed to your desk, pushing it, as you would try to keep up with writing everything down. And he would always ask you for a pen, every single time.

The study room was spacious and bright, it had a big round table for everyone to sit at, as well as two whiteboards and plenty or outlests for chargers and what not. It looked like the perfect place to study with a large group, excluding the fact Peter was there as well. You all took random seats around the table, Parker sitting across from you, almost as if it were on purpose. You held back an eye roll when he smiled at you cockily, making you look away and take out your laptop and notebook from your bag. The screen managed to block out most of Peter's face if you sink into your seat low enough. The conversation in the room flowed naturally, it was so interesting and engaging and you were having a blast speaking to these people. Soon enough all of you had solved the first homework questions, you quickly grabbing a pen and writing it down in your notebook. As you were in the middle of writing, an outside force closed your laptop. Your eyes looked at the laptop, seeing a pale male hand, fingers spread. You stared at it for a few seconds, noticing how pretty the hand actually was, long and straight fingers, follwed by a slim wrist and a muscular forearm. Your gaze trailed the hand up to Peter's face, looking into his eyes with annoyance already.

"Hey, do you-" before he even managed to finished his sentence, you had taken out a pen from your pencil case and placed it on your laptop, next to his hand.

"Thank you" he muttered, you not even looking back at him. This routine, as much as it was annoying, gave you some kind of comfort as well.

"How come you never have a pen with you?" You asked after a while, your curiosity getting the better of you.

"Oh, well actually I do have one, it's easier to just use yours"

''Unbelieveble"

"Come on, like you would ever need a second pen for anything"

You hovered over the table and grabbed the pen from his hand in a swift motion, he looked a bit taken a back, as well as the few people following your interaction.

"Actually, I need it now" you said, putting the one you were using away and continuing your writing with the one you just got back from him.

"You're being unbelieveble now" He said slightly irritated, reaching to get his won pen from his backpack.

"The two of you, cut it out, you're acting like children!" someone shushed you, making you blush when you realised it wasn't just you and the curly-haired boy in the room.

You gulped softly, mummbling a sorry to everyone as you kept writing down.

"Us cut it out? She was the one acting like a child, making a big deal out of a pen!" Peter whined and complained, starting to write down things in his notebook after he got a few angry glares from other people.

Around the time the group got to the third and final question for the homework you were feeling confident enough to try to contribute to the assignment.

"So you're basically saying that principle of hemodialysis is the same as other methods of dialysis - it involves diffusion of solutes across a semipermeable membrane?" you asked, as you were brainstorming through the question.

"Oh come on, y/n, this is the easiest question so far!'' Peter said, leaning froward, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Ever since the pen situation, he's been worse than ever before, taking every opportunity to show of how much smarter he was, followed by a cocky smirk.

"Intermittent dialysis therapy is used in chronic uremia to re-establish body water solute concentrations that cannot be achieved by the natural organ. In this sense, the dialyzer becomes an artificial kidney and it is through the transport of substances by this device that chemical and biophysical control consistent with continued survival is achieved." He explained, solving the question for you.

"She had it figured out, you could have let her be" Someone you didn't remember the name of said to him, making Peter's head turn in that direction.

"She obviously didn't, keep in mind her highest grade is my lowest" He snapped back.

You could feel the tension in the atmosphere thicken with each second, things were about to escalate very quickly. His words stung a bit and you felt something like a ball stuck in your throat after he said them. He didn't know how much work you had put in and he was incosiderate enough to just assume the worst of you. Before things managed to get any further, or worse, out of control, you slammed your thick notebook shut.

"Since Peter was kind enough to solve the last question, I think I'm going to call it a night" you said, fighting back the tears. Your voice gave you away as it wa slightly shaky, earning a few sympatheric looks.

You shoved your things in the bag as quickly as you as possible and walked out, trying to get as far away as possible. You were trying not to break down the whole walk back to your dorm, bitting your lip, brushing away some stray tears that ran down your cheeks with your sleeve. You were mentally blaming yourself for everything, for not walking fast enough, for not knowing enough, for deciding to join the study group, for even deciding on this degree to begin with. By the time you made it to your room, your phone was already blown up by text messages from Natalie, the person who originally invited you. She was a small blonde, blue-eyed beauty that was just as smart as she was pretty. You could bet on your own life that she was class president and the prom queen in high school. She was more than kind to you this whole time and her text messages suggested that she was worried about you too. With a quick click you deleted all the messages from your notification centre and threw the phone on your bed, followed by your bag. Hot tears ran down your face, breathing heavily as you were preactically sobbing at this point. You sat down on the floor, not being able to hold in the frustrstion anymore as you finally broke down, letting all of the shame, pain and anger flow out of your system through your tears.

A couple of hours had gone by, your tears were dried up on your face and neck as you lay on the floor and stared at the ceiling. Your phone kept buzzing from time to time and you finally gathered the emotional strenght to reply to the messages. Sitting on the bed, you unlocked the device and scrolled through the unred chats. The groupchat had sent the written solutions for the questions. Natalie had probably sent you 20 messages apologising and asking if you were okay. The guy who defended you had also sent you a message. His name was Brad and he looked like any normal person did. You texted him first, thanking him for standing up for you even though he did not need to do that. After him it was Natalie, who called you immediately after you hit send to reply to her first message. You picked up hesitantly, since you knew your voice was definitely going to sound like you had been crying.

"I am so sorry for everything! If I knew you and Peter were on bad terms I wouldn't have done this to you" She immediately spat out

"It's okay, I we aren't on bad terms, well... weren't"

"Have you been crying?"

"No..."

"I'm really sorry! I spoke to him after the whole thing, he's usually nothing like this! He himself couldn't explain why he acted like this"

"Nat, I really, really don't care"

"He said he wanted to make it up to you! He asked me himself for your number and your dorm room!"

"Please tell me you didn't give him any of that information"

"Well..."

"Oh my god now he knows where I live" you whined, bringing your knees up to your chest and hugging them.

"He wanted to apologise! He looked very sincere and worried"

"Yes, all the psychopaths do, that's why they're so hard to recognize!"

"I'm sure he wouldn't just show up at your door trying to make amends, you'll be fine, plus he's a really cool dude, give him a chance to prove he's not an asshole"

"He had his chance, it was today"

After you two said your goodbyes and hung up, you deicided it was finally time to take a relaxing shower. As you walked out, you heard a knock on your door. Still wrapped in a towel, one hand holding it in place, you opened the door to a Peter Parker, leaning on the doorframe. You blinked a few times rapidly, trying to process what you were seeing.

"Why are you here?" You asked, after carefully calculating your tone and your words

"You weren't picking up your phone" he replied, trying to step a foot inside. You blocked his action with the door.

"I didn't say you could come in"

"Can I come in then?"

"No, good night Parker" With that you tried closing the door on him but he grabbed it, not letting you close it.

"Look, I'm here to apologise for what I said earlier. You don't have to forgive me"

"And I don't, go Peter"

He looked shatter at your words looking into his brown eyes, you almost felt sympathy for him, like he really did feel sorry about what he did. Despite that, you kept your composure, looking at him with all the resentmet you had for him, a sigh leaving his lips as he let go of the door. He didn't need superpowers to know he fucked up, so he left. And you on the other hand, were more devistated than before, but your ego was bruised and your self-esteem ruined. The only person, no matter how annoying, you didn't want to think less of you, thought less of you. Yes, it was good that he wanted to apologise but this was not going to undo his words and the image he obviously had. You didn't even know if the apology really was his idea or was forced on him by the others in the group. You shook you head, dismissing the thoughts as you got ready to sleep. Sleep always helped with heavy emotions and you hoped you would feel better in the morning.

A few weeks went by and you still refused to forgive Peter for what he said. In your heart, you knew he was really sorry at this point but you enjoyed his suffering as you roasted him slowly on low heat. He tried all the cliché ways, buying flowers, chocolates, stuffed animals, buying you coffee before every study date. Your neighbours were convinced that the two of you were dating and would always ask about him when you gathered in one of the rooms to eat together or drink. You denied that but they rolled their eyes and never believed. In the mean time Brad tried to get closer to you, even inviting you on a date. You accepted hesitantly, since your heart seemed to be someplace else, liking all of the effort and attention from Parker more than it should. You told Natalie about the date, the two of you had become very close, spending a lot of time together, which often resulted in Brad and Peter tagging along. To say the boys were not getting along would be an understatement. Eyes throwing daggers at each other with every glance, snarky, rude comments were exchanged back and forth. But when you told the pretty blonde about Brad, she was more than excited about it finally happening . She would go on and on about how she knew he liked you ever since the first study session you had together and how he had a very heated fight with Peter after you left. You were grateful for him and what he did, and somehow it still felt wrong to be going out with him.

The night of the date had arrived and you were almost ready, putting in your earrings as you heard a knock on your door. You took a quick look in the full lenght mirror, fixing the long black dress you were wearing. It had a long slit on the left side, exposing your leg, no sleeves and a turtle neck. You had tied your hair in a ponytail, so your light make up would be more visible in the muffled evening lights of wherever he was planning to take you. You opened the door, still not wearing your chunky leather boots but just stockings.

"I thought we were going to meet in front of the library" you said as you opened the door but to your sursprise, someone else was standing there.

"You're not going on that date" Peter said firmly, almost as a command

"You're the last person that's going to tell me what to do" You snapped back at him "Why are you here Parker?"

He walked inside, closing the door behind himself. Peter seemed slightly distressed, looking you up and down with a dark expression.

"Do you really hate me that much?" he asked, leaning his back against the door, his arms behind him as he looked down at his feet. "Or do you just want to hurt me by going out with the guy I like least? Like really? All the guys are in your feet and you decide to go out with Brad, and look as gorgeous as this."

You could hear the annoyance and sadness in his voice, a bit taken a back from all of the things he just said to you. He just loved doing that, didn't he? Saying the most obnoxious things to make you feel bad about yourself.

"Wait, what?" was all you managed to say, taking a few steps back until your butt pressed agains your desk, making you stop. Books and make up palletes were scattred on it. Peter looked up at you, smiling weakly.

"I've liked you, this whole time" he confessed, staring directly into your eyes "Please, don't go on that date"

"Make me" you said faintly, surprised by how you almost whispered it. There was no way he could have heard that. But somehow he did, taking a few rapid steps towards and wrapping an arm around your waist.

"I'll make you forget everyone else but me" he whispered in your ear.

Feeling his hot breath near your face made your heart beat faster, one of your hands resting against his upper arm, looking up into his eyes. You were having a hard time processing what was actually happening, a sudden fear it was one of his games to make fun of you. You tried pushing him away after the realization, but his grip on your waist tightened.

"I'm serious, y/n" he said "I've liked you since I saw you, and I would make everyone sit away from you so I could be near, I would ask you for a pen so I could talk to you. And I tried to show off because I wanted to impress you, I wanted you to think I'm smarter so you could ask me for help in class."

For some reason you believed him, nodding lightly to let him know that. He lifted you up with one arm, sitting you on top of the desk. You were having a hard time vocalizing what you were feeling but you didn't want him to feel awkward because of your silence. Your arms wrapped around his neck, his hand falling on your exposed leg. You looked down at where his hand was, your skin burning with desire to be touched by him more. Your eyes met his again, his filled with hopefullness and lust. He got closer, titling his head to the side and he kissed you softly and sweetly. You returned the kiss, hands cupping his face and bringing him closer to you. Peter deepened the kiss, turning it in a heated make out session as one of his hands romed around your leg, going up your dress so he could touch more of you and the other one placed on the small of your back, pulling you closer to him. You spread your legs, pulling him by the belt so he could position himself between them, your hands going to his hair and playing with his messy curls as your lips and tongues danced against each other. After what seemed like a forever of heated, hungry kisses and filty touching, you broke the kiss so you could catch your breath. You panted havily, chest rising up and down rapidly. Peter pressed his forehead against yours, both of you closing your eyes to collect yourselves.

"Should I at lest text Brad and tell him I'm not going?"

"Well, there goes my hard on"

You hit his chest lightly, both of you giggling at his stupid joke. He looked around, noticing your phone that was charging on the bed, moving away from you to grab it and hand it to you. You unlocked the phone trying to find your chat with Brad while Peter found his previous position, viciously attacking your jaw and neck with kisses. You tried your best to be concentrated and write a normal message, but made a few spelling mistakes nonetheless. Peter nibbled on your neck, which earned him a slight flinch from your side.

“Peter, please, we’re not 16, no hikeys”

He ignored your words, continuing his act the way he had planned it, kissing, licking and sucking on your soft skin while you begged him to stop. His hands were all over your body once again, touching everything that was exposed to him, one hand travelling further up your leg than before, almost landing on your ass but hesitantly stopping. You noticed his uncertainly, pressing your cheek against his so you could whisper in his ear.

“Don’t stop now, Peter” you breathed in his ear, your own hands exploring his body.

He didn’t waste a second after that, grabbing your butt in his hand and pressing his lips against yours. Your hands moved under his shirt, touching his toned stomach. Your were quite shocked to what your fingertips were pressed up against, not expecting him to be as muscular as he actually was. You knew he worked out because you had seen his toned arms in a t-shirt too many times for your own good, but you were definitely not expecting that. Hands quickly slipped him out of his jacket, reaching to pull up his shirt in the heat of the moment but he stopped you, moving slightly away. Your lipstick was smudged all over his mouth and it made you giggle.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked you, his hands finding their way back to your waist. You nodded, undeniably longing for him and his touch, his presence.

“Good, because if we keep this up any longer, I probably won’t be able to hold back” Peter muttered, removing his shirt and tossing it on the floor before he pulled you in again, kissing you.

You took that as a signal that you had to get undressed as well, reaching for the hem of your dress pulling it up. He grabbed your hands when he noticed the act, stopping you from doing what you had planned so he could do it himself. Suddenly you felt the cold air from the room against your skin, along with Peter's warm hands, making you shiver. You undid his belt, helping him pull his pants down, breaking your kiss in the process. You laughed soflty at how he was jumping on one leg while he was trying to kick his pants off, shaking your head.

"What?" He asked

"Nothing, nothing, I'm really missing a date right now for you jumping on one leg to get out of your pants" you bursted out laughing, him joining you shortly after.

"No, it's going to get so much better, trust me" He stated, grabbing you and lifting you up, throwing you on the bed. You squeaked softly from his actions, not expecting it. Soon enough he had your hands pinned down with his, hovering over you. A soft gulp at the sight from you made him chuckle, kissing on your neck once again. He had already left a mark there, starting to suck on a second spot next it.

"Peter really! It's going to be so hard to cover them up" you whined, secretly enjoying his lips and teeth on your skin like this.

He looked at your face, smiling viciously at you.

"I just want people to know you had a good time"

"Yeah, with Brad? I was suppsed to be on a date with him" you teased him, chuckling softly. His expression changed suddenly, he seemed almost angry. His hands let go of your wrists, travelling down your skin as he reached the hem of your panties. His fingers played with the hem of them before slipping in under the thin fabric, the middle finger going between your folds. He could feel how wet you actually were, making him smirk with that cocky smile he had, looking into your eyes. You were holding back a small moan from his touch, looking at his pretty face.

"Can Brad make you this wet baby?" He asked.

You shook your head no, keeping eye contact with him. His middle finger started moving up and down tesing your clit before entering you slowly. This time you couldn't hold back and you moaned, closing your eyes. His smile remained present as he insedted a second finger inside of you, starting to move his hand teasingly slow. Your body squirming underneath him, he buried his face in the crook of your neck, rocking his hips against your leg while he fingered you. You could feel his erection through his boxers, making you even more needy than you already were.

"Parker" you moaned out softly, remembering your hands were actually free and you could move them, immediately attaching to his shoulders, which was the closest body part besides his head. He looked up at you after you called out for him, grabbing your face with his hand and kissing you.

"Peter" you moaned again against his lips, feeling his skin shiver from that. I never considered what effect you actually had on him. "Please, I want to feel you."

After you begged him, he wasted no time pulling your panties down, unressing himself as well. His arms spread your legs forcefully, positioning himself between them. You didn't really manage to follow everything he was doing because you were too eager yourself, pushing up against him in hopes to speed up the process. He pinned you down by the waist, shaking his head in disapproval at your actions. Peter didn't like it when you disobeyed him, even though it was the only thing you were good at doing. He lined himself up to you, teasing you lightly with his tip as a warning before he inserter himself inside, both of you moaning from the act. You felt something like actual electricity when he did that, making you breath heavy from the ecstacy. His hips moved rythmically, along with yours. He was still holding you by the waist, standing on his knees while he fucked into you. You moved your leg up on his shoulder, making him smile and kiss it, one of his hands running up and down it while both of you looked into echother's eyes. You enjoyed the view, so much, his naked toned body, his messy hair, that gorgeous face, your leg on his shoulder while he moved. It was hypnotysing, breathtaking, made your legs shake alone. He could feel you tighthen up around him, making him laugh softly.

"So soon?" he asked, noticing how you started squrming more than in the beginning, legs shaking from time to time, moans becoming more freaquent

"Peter, I'm really close" you managed to say, hands gripping on the sheets around you. His grip on your waist taightened as he went faster and deeper, making you whines more prominent than before. You walls started clenching around him, feeling yourself already starting to cum on him. He placed a hand on your lower stomach, applying slight pressure on it which really sent you over the edge, whole body shaking, heavy breathing and moaning uncontrolablly. He had to hold you down while you came, leaning forward and pecking your lips after you calmed down.

"I need a moment too" he whispered against your lips "Can you handle it for me?"

You nodded, letting him continue rocking his hips into you. You were covered in sweat and so was he, bodies pressed against eachother as he moaned softly in your ear, your legs wrapped around his waist to stop the shaking from the overstimulation.

"Peter" you mumbled against his ear ''I think you're really hot... like, way hotter than I expected''

"Fuck" he replied, pulling out of you and stroking his lenght a few times before he came on your stomach, both of you panting. He lay down next to you for a second, kissing your forehead and hugging you.

"You did so well" he praised you, starting to leave small butterfly kisses all over your face. You laughed softly, cuddling into him.

"We should go take a shower"

"Are you suggesting a second round in your shower?"

"No! Well... maybe, okay, yes"

He laughed at your reply, shaking his head.

[quickstappen]

SUMMARY: marceline's valentines over the years (a short study of self love and a look into the past)

PAIRING: pierre gasly x ex! fem! redbull media team! oc , [redacted] x fem! redbull media team! oc (no faceclaim)

WARNINGS: mentions of cheating, cursing

A/N: this is a short valentines day special, marci is healing and we get a look into pierre's and marci's past relationship - this one's not really plot filled, just some valentines snaps over the years ;)

[carved my name] masterlist madi's library

marcilazzaro1 and clairobernie_x posted to their story!

liked by danielricciardo, lance_stroll, clairobernie_x and others

marcilazzaro1 this year, for valentines day, i am celebrating the strongest, bravest and funniest person i know, the curious soul that has been with me my whole life - myself. these past months made me realise that i wasn't always so kind to her, always putting her wants and needs on hold for people who weren't worth it, telling her to settle for something less rather that fight for what she deserves... now, i'm learning to love her and be happy for her in a completely different way and i've never felt more like myself. today of all days, whether you're single or in a relationship, please remember to show yourself some love too. you can spoil yourself a little - you absolutely deserve it.

all of my love goes to you x

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carrie_on whos cutting onions here what the shit

redleclerc she is actually so mother, you don't understand

clairobernie_x i very much agree with the home decor, mia bella 🤍

↳ marcilazzaro1 aw, are we about to kiss rn?

↳ clairobernie_x 😚

cuddlyxricc are you trying to trick me into loving myself with a very aesthetic valentines photo dump?

↳ marcilazzaro1 is it working?

↳ cuddlyxricc ......maybe

↳ marcilazzaro1 good.

quickstappen did you do anything special today to spoil yourself?

↳ marcilazzaro1 yes! i cooked my absolute favourite meal from my childhood, took a very long and relaxing bath all while sipping on apple cider (i'm not a huge fan of champagne) and binged the mamma mia movies again!

↳ marcilazzaro1 did you do anything to spoil yourself?

↳ quickstappen it was gonna be another sad valentines, but you've changed my mind. i deserved a break. i went shopping to my favourite store and i'm planning to treat myself to dinner night out!

↳ marcilazzaro1 you don't know how amazing it is to hear that 🤍

barbiegirl i just love how confident she's getting 🥹 i've waited YEARS for this

shithappens okay but the revenge dress???? absolute serve

↳ madi_races it looks like it was made for her, honestly

ilpredestinatox HELL YEAH. GIRL, YOU DON'T NEED NO MAN (especially not that cheating bastard)

sarah_scott 🥂💛

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FEBRUARY 2020

liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo and others

marcilazzaro1 to the one who always listens to what i have to say and never complains about my weird shit - i thought i knew what it was like to love and be loved, but everyday you prove me wrong, you're like a breath of fresh air after a long dive.

all of my love goes to you x

tagged: pierregasly

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pierregasly there's no one i'd rather listen to in the middle of the night, you make me feel whole, i didn't even know i had so much love to give

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FEBRUARY 2021

liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and others

marcilazzaro1 another year, another letter. i've never felt such an overwhelming kind of love, no matter how many words i write, it's never enough. there's so much i want to say and so little words. i think i'll just have to write it out for the rest of my life and even that might not be enough time.

all of my love goes to you x

tagged: pierregasly

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pierregasly i've never liked reading, but i know all your letters by heart. i can't wait to spend forever with you

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FEBRUARY 2022

liked by pierregasly, alex_albon and others

marcilazzaro1 to pierre, my love - no words can explain what i feel for you (and yet i try every year), i love everything about you, even your dirty socks laying around the apartment, but most of all, i love your quiet. i was never good with silence, my life is chaotic and full of noise, i was scared of slowing down, but with you i am safe and i don't have to fear the quiet moments anymore

all of my love goes to you x

tagged: pierregasly

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pierregasly i can only be quiet with you, no one else

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FEBRUARY 2023

liked by pierregasly, sarah_scott and others

marcilazzaro1 to the future us - i hope you're kind and loved. to pierre - another year with you and i still don't have enough. i think my love for you might be endless, like the depth of your eyes in the mornings. i am enamored, bewitched, but never lost, i've found myself in your arms.

all of my love goes to you x

tagged: pierregasly

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pierregasly here's to the future! i love you always

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madi's radio: here we have a bit of nostalgia for marci and pierre :)))) i don't know where this came from honestly, but i wanted to show that there was a time when they were happy and in love (on both sides)

taglist: @sunny44 @rockyhayzkid @biancathecool @unluckyyoshi @woozarts @janeholt3 @celestialend @formulaal @d3kstar @yoremins @rd14 @mess-is-my-aesthetic @callsignwidow @blaaahblubb @evans-dejong @lwstuff (xxx - couldn't tag you)

click here to be added to the carved my name taglist!

DISCLAIMER: i do not know anything about this people, this is not real life, this is just something for fun, i do not know anythings about their life or personalities!

[throwaway-yandere]

Worksheets (Yandere!Alhaitham/Reader)

A/n: What's this, Ansy? Planning on two Alhaitham fics??? Are you not loyal to Dain or Ayat– Speak not, my comrade. Don't tell me that the new Archon Quest wasn't delectable lmao. Also, today was the first time I got a tip, and I??? I've never known happiness quite like that. I'm crying. I will remember you forever, "mommy milkers", I'll dedicate this fic to you ;;-;; (I'm pretty sure I know who you are "*chomp* *chomp*" but that name is entertaining lmao.) On another note, kinda loved how this fic turned out and this is prolly the closest thing I'll ever write to a "lime" lmao.

Unreliable Synopsis: (Student!Alhaitham era) Studying 20 languages is quite an exhausting task. It's a great thing Alhaitham is eager to help his "study buddy".

Cw: yandere themes, implied drugging and non/dubcon. Please don't read this if you're sensitive to the content mentioned. Your mental health matters.

—--------

Alhaitham, like you, is not the type to strike up an amusing discussion while he has a book in his hands. So he laid down his book and decided to take yours as well.

As Akademiya students, you are both bound by a single, exhausting clearance requirement: master 20 languages before graduation. So far, you think you're passable at best on writing romanized Inazuman script and laughable at worst on pronouncing proper Liyue intonations. You can already count yourself as one of the many students that won't see the light of employment next year, but Alhaitham won't let you sulk so readily.

"Time's up. You're done, right?"

He slid the textbook off the table and began flipping through your work.

You didn't reply. Instead, you felt the weight of your head on both palms. It's not that you're unable to reply. You just don't want to admit how illiterate you are in foreign linguistics.

"(Y/n), look at me when I'm speaking."

"I accept my fate." You muttered, soundly defeated. And then, you let yourself rest on the table. "Here lies (Y/n) (L/n). May they finally learn how to pronounce 印 properly in the afterlife."

Alhaitham rolled his eyes.

"Should I help send you off to Aaru Village? Want a proper goodbye from your old study buddy?"

"That would be quite nice, yes."

"Sure. I'll be happy to do that." He stopped flipping through the pages and focused all his attention on you. "If you started acting hysterical and destructive. But you're not. You're just miserable and reserved."

"Thanks for that wonderful assessment, Professor Alhaitham. I'm sure studying neurophilosophy helped you come up with that conclusion. Oh, your brilliance never ceases to surprise me!"

Alhaitham chuckled. His chuckles are almost always short-lived and 100% condescending. 

"(Y/n), language is simply not your forte. But you do wonders in mathematics since we are almost on the same level."

You glared, finally meeting his gaze.

"Must you always brag about yourself whenever you try to cheer me up?"

"Hmm?"

"Lord Kusanali– don't tell me you haven't noticed that about yourself…"

He lightly smacked your head with your textbook. You winced, exaggerating your pain.

"Our conversation isn't about me, it's you. Now, enlighten me, how on earth did you manage to mistake Snezhnayan scripts in a Liyue assignment?"

"E-Eh?!"

You snatched your book back.

"Holy shit. You're right."

You may not like beer, the first time you drank one it tasted funny, but at that moment you decided that once exams are over you're going to get completely inebriated.

Alhaitham watched you reread your work and fondly memorized the way your eyebrows knitted and your eyes skimming through the pages. Your fingers gripped that book as if your life depended on it. That might as well be true knowing your passion for your degree, but he simply wished you will spare part of that zeal for him.

He used to study alone until you showed up. Freshman year was brutal and unkind, but when you insisted on becoming his partner the world had taken on a vibrant hue. Alhaitham never asked for a partner, but your proposal was enticing that he had to say yes. He lied and said he merely wanted to see where this would lead him before, but now he is proud to say he did not regret that decision. It's a shame that your persuasive techniques do not work well with complex Liyue scripts, if they did you would've aced these tests.

"Ugghhh... I hope I get buried raw so I wouldn't have to worry about funeral expenses too..."

Alhaitham did not mind that he's helping you work on your quote-unquote "bane of existence." Students at the Akademiya sometimes fear group work, but he's not one of them. He hopes for one in each subject should it entail that you'll be beside him. Should the assignment be on a frost-prickling mountain, he still wouldn't hesitate to tag along if it meant sharing his cloak and warmth with you. Alhaitham doubts he cares about any other factors. As a friend and intellectual collaborator, you've become irreplaceable.

That's why he won't let you fall behind.

"Chin up." He patted your head like you would a cat. 

"H-Huh?"

"I said chin up," Alhaitham spoke, uncharacteristically soft. "I'll be right here beside you until we graduate."

You smiled, not at all comforted but grateful for the gesture. You sat up straight. "Thanks, Haitham."

When given the option to either comfort or critique, Alhaitham doesn't hesitate to choose the latter. This small moment made you happy. Back then, he used to be rather cold and skilled at getting you off his life. You subconsciously began to grin. Your friend Lisa was right, he softens when he's with you–

"Which is why I'll be sending you additional practice sheets for you to work on," Alhaitham added bluntly, his words dropping like a hammer. "I'm not letting you play games until you perfect writing these scripts."

Your eyes stared coldly back at him.

Nevermind. Forget it. He's the same as he had always been.

"Way to ruin the moment, Future Grand Scribe."

—----

Three days have passed and it's the last day of your dreaded linguistics exams.

Well, that sounds more significant than what it is. It's the last day of ALHAITHAM'S MOCK EXAMS, which is what it actually is, but you can't help but feel nervous as you would in a real graded performance. He takes practice exercises and their punishments very seriously. Last time was just a surprise quiz, so the intensity differed greatly.

Alhaitham took a seat at an adjacent table. He was amusingly dressed in a pair of glasses and an Akademiya professor uniform. You'd mock him for believing in you when you claimed you wanted the exam to be as immersive as possible, but his execution is far too effective for your liking. For crying out loud, he even received the alchemy professor's signed permission to borrow his room!

"For your last test, you need to translate this Liyue text back to Sumeru scripts. I'll give you… 30 minutes for this." He said, adjusting his timer. 

Alhaitham cast a sidelong glance at you, pretending not to see your apprehension. His fingers lingered over the reset and split buttons.

"Are you ready?" 

You felt your palms beginning to sweat.

"S-Sure."

He didn't care what your answer was– no professor would ever wait for a student. Alhaitham flipped the test paper to its front page.

"Timer starts now."

Nervously, you picked up your pen and paper and started reading. Alhaitham left the timer on top of the table and went back to drinking his cup.

Alright, here we go.

Decoding it was simple, at first. The start felt like a canned script for a traditional romantic light novel. You translated the messages back to your native tongue. Then, things started to become a bit complicated.

'I've decided to be entirely honest and truthful in this letter, so I'll start from the very beginning. I used to despise you.'

Your nose scrunched, amused. What an introduction. You pointed your pen in his direction.

"Is our friendship over, Haitham?"

He glared. "Quit talking. 29 minutes and 38 seconds–"

"Alright, alright. Geez."

'But you were so relentless that I couldn't help but cave in. Who wouldn't? You're personable and you share my beliefs about research autonomy. It's difficult to find someone who is an expert at both. You'd know that best.'

'It's pitiful that I can't handle the notion of losing you once this is finished.  Many people do not consider me to be empathic and they frequently misinterpret my lack of emotional expression as a lack of empathy. But you've always been so accepting of me.'

'It's a shame that you left me when morning came. I've never felt solitude quite like that wake-up call.'

You grimaced as you continued to read the rest of the paragraphs. Whoever wrote this must be seriously lovelorn and obsessed because they wrote as if they've hopelessly known that their affections will remain unreciprocated beyond half a decade. 

The author went on to describe how they had watched their beloved enjoy their life blissfully ignorant of the misery they had caused him. Given that Alhaitham creates everything by hand, the stark contrast between the material and his precise letterings does nothing to express the writer's frantic confession.

'I can't get the thought of you out of my mind. It's exhilarating. I've never been this stimulated before I met you.'

'I need you, even after our partnership is over.'

You can't get over how, in Alhaitham's fine handwriting, the author gradually spiraled from unrequited love to an obsession that can't be helped.

'You have qualities that no one else possesses. Traits that I want in a lifelong companion. You taught me things I didn't know I wanted for myself. And you are on top of that list.'

'As you're probably aware, you do have a guardian angel. I sometimes answer your assignments for you. Every morning, I pay for your coffee and leave sticky notes in case you overlook your deadlines. These are all unpaid acts of kindness, but they make me feel like I'm laying a better foundation for a relationship with you.'

'I admit, I don't mind following you around like an affectionate dog every now and then. Your schedule is predictable. You even handed me a duplicate with your new phone number on it. It's both pleasant and difficult for me to watch you from a distance, but what else can I do? Everyone knows I'm rather socially inept for this to play out as smoothly as I'd hope so I had to stoop to this method.'

'At least I learned not to break doors this time."

'Once we both graduate, I might not be able to see you again in my life. We will no longer work together as much as we did before. I wouldn't be able to see you laugh or make excuses just to touch you. I like being near you. Even if you consider me as a one-night stand. Even if you consider me as your biggest mistake.'

You looked at Alhaitham with a face that ridiculed his choice of picking this creepy excerpt. He didn't so much as move and continued sitting at the table, staring at you robotically calm.

You hope this Liyue person has already been apprehended by the Millelith.

You resumed deciphering after deciding to trust whatever bizarre letter Alhaitham had assigned to you. You were beginning to feel sorry for the person Alhaitham obtained the love letter from and its intended recipient... You wouldn't be astonished if Alhaitham pulled this letter from the hands of a mad scholar and deemed it a worthy linguistics exercise.

'You're mine and you will learn to love me. I've already decided on that.'

'I'm sure that declaration is bound to scare you, but I genuinely meant it. I can understand if you react violently. I wouldn't hate you if you tried to contact the authorities, but just know that eremites are useless against me.'

You scowled. Perhaps your study companion wanted you to be wholly aware that translating is not an easy task. If so, you're impressed by his dedication. You'd never read a letter like this again.

Then it got worse.

'That's why I need to take control again.'

'I need you to open your eyes– I need you to know that without me, you cannot survive in a world beyond academics.'

'You need me just as much as I need you, too.'

'So when will you invite me back to Dorm 569?'

You stopped reading and you felt the clip of your pen snap. 

Slowly, you turned the paper to its back. Your eyes were glued to the table, unable to look at your study partner's face.

"Alhaitham…" You laughed sheepishly. "Do… Do you have to go above and beyond writing such a… personal sounding example? You know, the Akademiya doesn't allow plagiarism—especially when it's a creepy love letter."

Being batch-mates with Alhaitham, you're well aware of his eccentricities. And being batch-mates with you helps him pretend that there's nothing creepy about knowing a few minor details too.

But this is… is not one of them.

Alhaitham placed his mug down and began to peek through your worksheets behind you.

"Five minutes left, I'm guessing you're on the last paragraph?" He spoke as if your concerns were nonexistent.

"Of course I'm on the damn last paragraph!!!"

You immediately covered your mouth, looking around the room if you had disturbed others, before being staunchly reminded that you are alone. With him.

It's like reading a horror story at home alone on the weekends. The setting is safe, you trust Alhaitham, but your heart is restless.

Dorm 569. 

It's your dorm number but it's not an innocent suggestion if– when it comes from him. The implication was sinister and cruel. There is a historical context that vastly changes the flow of this conversation. A context that you don't want to address plainly.

"This is just a joke, right?" You gulped dryly. Despite your treacherous nerves, you made a joke. "You're not stalking me, are you?"

He raised an eyebrow.

Alhaitham steadily reduced the gap between you two by holding your chair with both hands. Before you could realize it, he had already closed off all means of escape. You felt his breathing brush against you. Every inch of your body begged for a sprint as his green-orange eyes peered through your soul, calculating as they had always been.

You need to leave.

"You're going to brush off the rest of what you've read and focus on such a minor detail? You're not going to ask if I have feelings for you like a normal person?"

His breath smelled like coffee.

"I would if this fucking letter sounded anywhere close to normal!" You yell-whispered.

You combed your hair back with your fingers, feeling your entire body shaken by his implied agreement. 

"Shit, Alhaitham… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell your ears out– I'm just a bit…" You laughed, sinking your weight on the chair's cross rail but he inched closer, maintaining the distance you had before. "Moved? I'm so bad at vocab, is that the word? Yeah, moved by that love letter, I suppose."

"Don't be sarcastic. You're frightened."

You scoffed.

"D-Duh, making jokes is a coping mechanism. Something you wouldn't relate to, I know."

He didn't move from his position.

You breathed in sharply. "What?"

"You still haven't asked."

"Asked what?"

"If I like you romantically."

"W-Well, you still haven't answered me either."

"Answered what?"

"... Is it true? Are you stalking me?"

He did not hesitate to answer. "In a sense, yes."

What…?

Your stomach flipped at his nonchalant reply. He tilted your chin up. The short distance between you two began to diminish as you felt Alhaitham's hair against your cheek.

"How else would I know your dorm number if I didn't, right?"

You slapped his hand away. "You know what I meant. This isn't funny at all. Please answer me seriously."

"I thought you think of me as a guardian angel. You wanted the truth and I gave you my thoughts." Alhaitham pressed. 

You don't want to believe it.

You don't want to acknowledge that it was someone you trusted who forced you to bed.

"I am stalking you. Tell me– who else would've fucked you senseless that night? Go on, tell me, (Y/n)."

But you knew deep down that it was him.

You shoved him off, but he was stronger than you are. You've seen him in action, he did not lie when fighting eremites are child's play to him. You're his study partner, and you, unfortunately, know him best as he stated in that letter.

Dorm 569. That night was a blur and you've changed rooms since then. Another student, Soraya, began living in your old room. You couldn't bear to visit and see how the freshman was doing. 

You never actively seek parties, and Alhaitham was the same. But one night, you both decided to finally experience the infamous "college life" by attending one. Your brain refused to unfold everything that transpired. Pieces of your conversations occasionally resurface, but they're all mundane yet bitter. Retracing your steps had a major discrepancy from drinking beer to waking up in your dorm with a broken door.

Nothing explained why your study partner was naked beside you, lovingly caressing your hair.

"Were you fantasizing about another man? One of our seniors, perhaps? Are you one of those people who get off on unbalanced relationship dynamics?" 

There was no explanation as to why you woke up screaming. 

And there were no words spoken about it the next time you bumped into each other.

He never mentioned it again.

And you foolishly thought that was the end of it.

"S-Stop…"

"If not our old seniors…  Was it our Ethics professor?"

Your heart dropped.

Alhaitham laughed. His usually calm green-orange eyes that soothed you swirled with what you assumed was jealousy and self-loathing. Two emotions you have not seen before, or at least, did not acknowledge.

You both knew you were scared to face reality. But he doesn't want to play these mind games any longer. Alhaitham already decided on it. You will recall everything. 

His grip on your chin tightened. 

"It's him, correct? I won't forget the way you moaned 'Sir' when I pulled your hair. If I wasn't confident, I wouldn't be wearing this stupid pair of glasses and uniform just to woo you."

You could no longer speak. Alhaitham took it as permission to do anything he wants with you. Just like that night.

His lengthy fingers pinched your inner thigh.

"Then again, I don't think I can keep acting like him. Spiking a drink would be in his list of unforgivable actions I'm sure."

You trembled.

"Still won't answer, (Y/n)? Or would you prefer I call you Mx. (L/n)?"

Alhaitham scoffed, grinning.

"You don't have to answer. We have the classroom all to ourselves to test that hypothesis."

[pastel-peach-writes]

Mk what about Vi! As a teacher (woof!!) idk what age group but the reader’s supposed to come in and talk about their job (like when firefighters or marine biologists come in and tell the kids what they do) so the reader comes in early to meet Vi and they both catch each other’s eye! And of course we have to stay for lunch (maybe we even brought an extra one just in case??)

Ever since I got this request in my inbox, I've been wanting to write it. I apologize for the wait, Anon!

Class Is In Session | Vi x Reader

╰┈➤ PLOT: Educated, good with kids, and a killer smile. These were the words you and Vi could use to describe each other. In what was supposed to be a normal and boring school day turns into a meet-cute when a teacher and marine biologist cross paths.

╰┈➤ WARNINGS: Not Proofread, No Use of Y/n, On The Shorter Side

⍣ ೋ Enjoy!⍣ ೋ

Vi sat at her desk shuffling through her paperwork and worksheets to give out to students. Today was a busy day in the classroom. Today was career day and for a K-12 school, many activities were happening all at the same time for different grades.

For Vi's, third graders, the students were to have a few adults come into the class to speak about their careers. The students then fill out worksheets about each career, decide which out of the few is their favorite, and then write a short essay about that career and what the career entails.

Though her agenda wasn't as outrageous or chaotic as the other grades, having 20-something third graders sit down to hear adults go on and on about their jobs was a challenge in itself.

As the pinkette rose from her chair to disburse the worksheets, you walked through her door dressed in your typical career attire and a black folder filled with paperwork. Your shoes tap against the floor causing Vi's head to snap towards you.

"Oh, the parent volunteers aren't supposed to come until after lunch," Vi informed. She continued her stride to her students' work cubbies.

"I'm not a parent volunteer," you let out a sheepish chuckle. "I'm here for the third grade career day? I'm supposed to be giving the class a speech about my career and I wanted to make sure the speech was appropriate for your students."

The corner of Vi's lips upturned into a satisfied smirk. Responsible and considerate, and your voice didn't sound any older than hers. Was it possible that she found a suitable bachelor for herself?

The bimbos on dating apps weren't doing it for her, and the others? God. Who wants to mention them?

You were so much different than the rest. You had a career, not a job at the nearest fast-food restaurant and you cared about children enough to ensure their third-grade career day would be one to remember.

"Forgive me," Vi spoke as she distributed the worksheets into her students' inboxes. She rose from her crouched position and smoothed down her black with grey striped slacks. "I have never met someone so professional. The name's Violet, but I go by Vi."

As you two shook hands and exchanged names, you took notice of this Violet. She was nothing like the teachers you encountered in your time at school. Hell, if any of your teachers looked like her, you would be too distracted to learn anything.

Maybe it was a blessing to meet her in your late 20s. At least now you had a dependable future to rely on and had your shit together (at least, for the most part).

You and Vi spent the rest of the time before class going over your presentation for the kids and any similarities you may have. As you spoke, you were captivated by the way she presented herself.

It's obvious she cares for the students as if they're her own children. She spoke wise and proud of them, telling you how much they've grown since the first day of school. She also told you how she would come to their defense over anything, even if that meant yelling at a few parents.

Vi's had her job on the line a few times, but her tenacity in protecting and educating these children lets her remain hired.

It's wrong to be attracted to someone as fast as you became attracted to Vi, but you couldn't help it.

She had a voice that could lure you into dangerous waters, eyes that could hold you hostage under their gaze, and a face that you wanted to squish but also do unspeakable things to. Violet was dangerous and you were learning that she knew that too.

"Ah," Vi rose from her desk's edge as a few students straggled into the classroom. "It seems like school is starting soon! Where did the time go, huh?" her laughter filled your ears and body with warmth.

You laugh along with her. Your laughter did the same thing hers does to you; fill her ears and body with warmth.

"Did you need to set anything up? You can use my computers."

You waved her off. You grabbed your bag at the foot of her desk and brought it to the table's surface. "No, it's something quick. I brought photos to show what I do in the lab or see in the ocean. I may need you to hold them up for me if that's okay, but that's all I have visual-wise."

"Hey," a wide grin spread across her lips, "I'm always down to help a pretty person such as yourself." With a laugh and a playful eye-roll, you sort the papers out of your bag.

As more students gathered in the classroom and sat at their respective seats, Vi grew more and more antsy to talk to you. She could tell she was running out of time to carry on adult conversations without kids butting in, but she had no clue what to say.

What could she say?

That she grew attached to this volunteer in a matter of two hours? That she wanted to hear them talk forever and ever about their career and discoveries? That she wanted to experience not only the many sights the world had to offer but the "mundane" parts of life too? Vi couldn't have said any of it. In fact, she couldn't have said anything at all because you beat her to the jump.

"Miss. Vi." Somehow, through the noise of bustling tweens, your voice carried over the chaos. "Would you be willing to eat lunch with me? Maybe even today if you have the chance?"

Vi quipped an amused brow in your direction. "Oh? Are you asking me out?" she whispered.

You shrugged, finally setting aside your speech notes and papers. You rested your palms against the edge of her desk while she crossed her arms over her chest. "And what if I am? You too chicken to share a piece of chicken?" By this point, more volunteers flooded into the room and went to the back of the class to prepare for their presentations.

Vi let out a belly laugh. "That sounded like a line my students would say and because of that, I'm afraid I'll have to decline."

You laughed with her before blowing out a puff of air. "Shoot, that's too bad. I have a whole extra lunch and no one to share it with. What a shame."

Violet paused. "Extra lunch"? You mean, you invited her out to eat and she didn't have to pay or even think of a meal she wanted to devour? You chose the meal for her? "Was this your plan all along?" she chuckled. "Come to my classroom early, butter me up, then ask me out to lunch? How did you even know I was gay?"

You smirked. "If I didn't before, I do now. But come on, Miss. Vi. Look at you. How can you be anything if not gay?"

She snickered. "You got a point."

"And my plan wasn't to come early and butter you up. I packed an extra lunch to give to the teacher who graciously let me present in her classroom today to express my gratitude. Thank you, though, for thinking I could craft some elaborate plan such as that one."

Vi opened her mouth to speak, but she was interrupted by the bell. Unfortunately, she was now on the clock and couldn't speak much about dates or anything about romance. However, before she instructed you to wait in the back of the classroom with the others, she scribbled a note on a piece of paper and told you to read it once class started.

In the back of the class with a small piece of paper in your hand, you watched as Vi addressed her students and took attendance. As she and her students were preoccupied with their class morning routine, you took the opportunity to read the note:

Sure, Sealion. I'd love to have lunch with you. We can eat in my classroom when the kids are out.

Then, at the bottom of the note in smaller text, Vi wrote:

And oh, next time, I got dinner. <3.

You folded the note and slipped it into your pocket with a soft smile. "Next time"? So, she wanted to see you again. Your gaze met hers as she took attendance. Judging by the giddy, almost adventurous smile on her face, she assumed you'd read the note. You gave her a slight nod and her smile only grew.

Guess you had two dates. One at lunch and another in the near future and both with the hottest teacher you've ever met.

WC: 1,461

[ryanguzmansource]

📹 • Ryan's podcast appearance for A-Line Podcast (3.11.24)

SUMMARY (IN ORDER OF DISCUSSION)

ON BEING A "SEX SYMBOL": I don't see none of that […] I stay appreciative, I stay grateful for all of it. That's crazy though because I don't see myself like that, you know? [interviewer makes a comment on his level of humility] I've had a lot of humbling things happen to me that past, like, my whole life. Some people, like—I got good people in my corner right now checking me.

ON ACTING: [interviewer asks how long he's been in the profession] Thirteen years now? And it's never something I even thought of, coming from Sac [Sacramento]. Yeah, I was—I was doing, like, modelling in San Fran[cisco], I was doing fighting in Sacramento, and then I think just the environment I was around wasn't offering me any kind of, like, out, and I got caught up, and I was just like "You know what, I'ma do the same shit, I'm gonna get in trouble, I'm gonna end up like all these other individuals I'm around, let me try something new." So I got invited to come out to LA [Los Angeles] and do a photoshoot and that changed my life.

I was modelling and fighting at the same time, and then—because—I just came off one of my last fights [interviewer asks if he won] Nah, I lost. It was a-a belt fight too for the title. [interviewer asks if he was contender or champion] I was the contender. Yeah, I was going against the champ. Yeah, and I was only on my third fight at the time, so I was like, I was coming up real quick and I picked up that fight to be honest because somebody else turned it down and nobody else wanted to fight this guy so they looked at me and I was like, sign me up. Yeah, yeah, but then I came out here and everything changed. I remember getting a call from some, I don't even know the guy no more, but uh, he was talking about some, like, audition or something like that and I'm like, what do you mean, audition? and he goes oh yeah yeah I act, and I'm like "oh, okay, bro, if you can do it you're [indistinguishable] as fuck." [laughter] I gotta try this shit out for sure." And ever since then, man, I booked Step Up and I haven't been—[interviewer asks which movies he was in] Four and five. Yeah, four and five.

ON 9-1-1: [interviewer asks how long it takes for him to learn his lines and what his process is when he receives a new script] 9-1-1, they keep you on your toes because like, literally, we'll get the script the day of or, like, the night before and you don't even know you're working that night so it's just—now, at this point in time, I've been doing it for so long, it's just like—what I do, what helps me out is I read the lines over and over and over and over again until I got the lines on lock, right—[interviewer asks if he writes his lines in order to memorize them] No, I-I used to. So when I—when I came out here and I only had, like, twenty-seven dollars to my name, I could barely afford paper, so I would just take, like, a couple pieces of paper and keep on writing shit over and over again until I got that and then I think it developed something in my brain so that now that I'm looking at this stuff, I'll get the lines down real quick and then, as soon as I get the lines down, I put myself into it. And that's where you get to, like, the flavor, the character, like, all the like, little textures and stuff. Yeah.

ON THE ON-SET ENVIRONMENT: It really is like a little family, you know, we really kick it on-on, uh, and off screen and everything.

ON IF HE STILL GETS NERVOUS WHEN ACTING: I'd take a fight over [walking on set]. I think for me, in anything I've ever done—the more, like, tense I am, the worse I am. You know what I'm saying? So, like, I'm trying my best to just be comfortable and just be me and it's been a process to try and find out who that was at the same time as being an actor. So as I've climbed over the past thirteen years, I've kind of found out my identity, who I am, and feel real stable in who I am, so when I come on a set, it's the same person you'll meet all the time. And then when I'm—when they—when they call action, it's just a flip of the switch to be honest. It's really not like—I can't—I can't think about it too much.

ON METHOD ACTING: [interviewer asks what's the difference between what he does and method acting] Nah, but I did a movie—I did method for, like, so again, I've only done one acting class in my entire life, so I was trying to just learn on the go. I didn't even call myself an actor until, like, three years ago until I had a conversation with Kenny [Kenneth Choi] and Kenny was like, "bro, you got all the things, like, why are you not taking advantage of what you have?" But, uh, I did a Mario Van Peebles movie [Armed (2018)] and I was supposed to play the like, schizo, kind of like, like, crazy individual, all paranoid and everything like that. So I locked myself up in this, like, horrible ass motel, like, you know, prostitution was happening over here, like, we got—we got everything, you know, and I kept myself in that room, and then to further that thing, I hired one of my boys to, uh, be snapping pics of me randomly so, like, it always keep me, like, is somebody looking on me, blah blah blah.

And I couldn't get out the room, the room was hot as fuck, I think it was, like, 110 degrees in that room, um, it was in the middle of the fucking summer, and I just drove myself insane. I drove myself insane and I did this movie. I mean, it didn't come nothing of it but it became the Mario van Peebles show. I didn't realize that going into it but, um, that stuck with me for years. It fucked with me. So I would go around and I remember coming out of that room, actually—it was weird, I came out the room, my two boys took me out to lunch, and I'm-I'm-I'm trying to eat and all I could do was hear everybody's voices and it was so overwhelming I almost started crying, I'm like, oh whoa. So I had to, like, hop in the bathroom, I'm like, and seclude myself so I couldn't hear nobody. And then I finally, like, started to reintegrate myself into the community and then - and then I just went straight to filming. But I learned from that process, like, nah, method ain't for me.

ON HAVING A LIFE OUTSIDE OF ACTING: [interviewer asks how he's able to have a life outside of acting considering both the unpredictability and the rigor inherent to his line of work.] Yeah, you just got to be adaptable. ON GETTING HIRED: [interviewer asks if he sent in an audition tape for 9-1-1] Nah, bro, so it worked out differently for me, I got a straight offer based off an audition I did two months or three months prior. [interviewer asks if they kept his tape] I think so. Yeah, so, what happened was—[interviewer asks what the tape/audition was for] No, it was FOX, something completely different. Yeah, and I don't know, I don't know really the backstory 'cause, to be honest, I-I met up with Tim Minear, and shout out to Tim Minear, he's-he's like the OG of the OGs. Yeah, yeah, shoutout to showrunner, yeah, yeah, yeah, he-he does everything, he put, like, new life into this season for us.

But, um, I only met Ryan Murphy one time, and the only time I met him, actually, I was trying to go to Netflix trying to get my show picked up. I was writing something for, uh, with a-a-a group of people, and I was like "alright, I got this all set up" blah blah blah, you know, and that—there's a certain amount of slots that Netflix will see the people, so I'm sitting down there waiting, everything like that, and I see fourteen individuals come through, Ryan Murphy's leading them, like, I don't know who this man is. And finally someone comes up to me and says, hey, so, Ryan this-this guy actually works for you, and he's like, oh hey nice to meet you, blah blah blah and, like, dips out, and I'm like, fuck I'm not going to get this television show, like they're going to sign with this man" and shortly after, they signed this, like, massive deal and—yeah.

ON WORKING WITH ANGELA BASSETT: "She's probably one of my favorite people I've ever met. [...] It's royalty right there, yeah, it's royalty. The fact that she can go win an Oscar, come back to our show and act like nothing happened? Like, that's who she is.

ON EDDIE'S S3 FIGHT ARC: [interviewer asks if he asked for his background in fighting to be included in 9-1-1] I got a theory about that though, like, I feel like they found out about my fighting and then I kept on coming in with, like, black eyes and like, like, different, like, little, like, you know, yeah, we-we, like, the makeup artist would call it, like, oh, falling down the stairs or what not, so, he's like, "did you fall down the stairs again today?" blah blah blah so I think they just kind of, like, wrote that in. […] I thought I was going to get fired.

ON FIGHTING: Still fighting. Still trying to teach, still doing it, like, anybody wants, you know. [interviewer asks if he's still going into the ring getting punched] I mean... I'm trying to punch [laughter]

ON THE STRIKE: [interviewer asks how badly the SAG-AFTRA strikes affected him] I'm in a blessed position, you know, I stay grateful for everything and then, like I said, Ryan Murphy saved my life, uh, because I just found out—not to back out of your question—but I just found out that I was about to have a baby boy, um, before I got this-this show and, like, divine intervention, right, um, so for the strike, residuals started coming through out of nowhere. That USA [USA Network syndicated runs of 9-1-1]. So I was actually just linking up with my boys every single morning at four or five in the morning. [interviewer asks if his residuals were mere coins like some of the rest of the people in his industry] Nah, man, you get some. Like one I, like, get super hyped, right, and I be like okay, a dollar. […] So I was getting that, but then I was also getting something else and I was just like okay. Every check [from 9-1-1] [is] the same, the residuals are different. So residuals are, like, based on how-how many people watch. I'll get a residual from, like, say Boy Next Door comes out and it, I think it was just on HBO, you know, ten thousand people, hundred thousand people will start watching that, then I'll get a residual for that, and then I'll get a residual for 9-1-1.

ON THE ON-SET ENVIRONMENT (again): [int: And I'ma speak, like, being on set with y'all, man, like, um, I hear so many horror stories of, like "the actor was an asshole," like all of y'all bro, like, when you see me, you be like "how's your kid?" and that shit is crazy bro, I be appreciating that shit, like, y'all really—it's really like a family setting, not just with the actors with—among actors—it's like crew-wise, like, even—I saw Aisha [Hinds] on another show, she hugging me and shit, everybody looking at me different now. You know what I'm saying? So, like, y'all really show love on, like, a daily basis, you know what I'm saying.]

It starts from the top, though. I mean, Angela, you know, she-she runs that whole thing. [...] Pete's the same way, yeah. […] She's straight-up grace. The way she handled that other Oscar situation when she was supposed to, like, win? And she sat down like this [demonstrates]. [And they tried to make it seem like she was shading the winner.] Of course they did. Of course they did. I remember talking to her about that. [And how was she feeling?] You know, she had some, like, some things to share about that, and, like, to be honest, it's human. It's like, what she felt was human, it's like—and the way she handled it was better than I could have handled it. You know? And the way that she was getting treated? Better than how I could have felt. You know? So, like I said: grace.

ON JAKE PAUL/FIGHTING: [parts of this exchange were indistinguishable due to an inability to read lips] I put out my thing for Jake Paul, like, years and years ago. I was like, Jake, if you wanna fight, let's fight, bro. […] I didn't get nothing back, I got crickets back, so he literally, yeah. [interviewer comments of Jake Paul's skill and ability.] He's gotten better. I mean, he's got millions of dollars like he's in Puerto Rico, like, top training, like, he's got a good team around him. [interviewer asks if he's still willing to fight Jake Paul knowing he's received top-notch training] Tomorrow. Yeah. Today. Whenever. Yeah. We about the same weight. I think he's 199, I'm 187.

[indistinguishable] That don't mean nothing, that's Mike Tyson. And you gotta think about the last couple fights, is like, Mike Tyson, he's had Anderson Silva, I'm a nobody to him, and I don't have the controversy behind me. You know? There's a scandal that-that, like, they feed off of. They're smart, I said this: the Paul brothers are really smart about advertising themselves, marketing themselves, like, and-and surrounding like, insulating themselves with really good people. [indistinguishable] I feel like they had something in the clause, like, don't hit me too hard. You see the age gap right? I mean, 57? The other one, Anderson Silva was 50, the one before that was 40, like, he-he's—I feel like he's going to the retirement home—[he lost to Tommy Fury] He lost to—because that's close to his age. And I don't even think Tommy Fury is that great.

[interviewer asks if, when he's in the ring, does he use moments where he's not in action to rest] Yeah. Yeah, so actually, you learn a lot from the fight. So, like, sparring is completely different than fighting in the ring. […] The first fight I ever had, I realized that the crowd actually plays—cause, the adrenaline—it takes out your-your stamina, so I would get in there and I would already be breathing hard and not realizing, like, I haven't even fought yet. So by the second round in my first fight, I remember my coach, like, pulling my pants, being like, trying to get me, like, room for my stomach to breath, and slapping me in the face, being like, wake up, you got to fight another round. Just because my heart was beating too hard. The next round—I mean, sorry to stop you—but the next fight, I ended up deciding I'm going to fall asleep right before my fight. I'm going to stay calm as I can, I'm going to walk out to my own little, like, headphone music, blah blah blah, I'ma go to the ring girl, flirt with her for a little bit, blah blah, go in there and just treat it like another day, stay comfortable, stay calm, like I'm doing with my acting, and then I fucked this dude up, man, I was like that's it.

[interviewer asks if he believes in not having sex before a fight] Ah, I mean… [laughter] I mean, I-I, they-they say a lot that does act as, like, testosterone. [interviewer asks if he believe that it can help before heading into a fight, regardless if he practices the ideology or not] Yeah. Yeah, 'cause, I mean, if you withhold sex for all of--I mean--you just start getting, like, little-- [Antsy?] Yeah, exactly.

ON GARCIA V. HANEY: [Devin] Haney's gonna—Haney's gonna whip him. Yeah. No, [Ryan] Garcia's got so many holes in his game. He should have stayed-he should have stayed with Canelo [Alvarez].

ON BOXING OVER MMA: I moreso watch MMA 'cause that's where I came from […] I like-I like using everything. [interviewer asks about his fight style] Striker. I didn't like getting—that's how I lost in the last fight. I hit old dude, like, right in the face, his eyes roll in the back, I celebrated too quick, I raise my hands up, he kind of falls on me, grabs on my side, and as he's, like, grabbing on my side, he's trying to get his, like, whereabout, right, and then kind of pulls me into a guard, we fall down, he goes into my, like, it's called side mount, so he's on this side, my legs are this way and he gets onto a full mount, which is just like—my legs are past him, his legs are right here, and he just starts doing [gestures] that 'cause I didn't have any ground game (?). And I heard about this guy being nothing but a striker so I was like alright, so I went up to him and I was just like, let's get it cracking, like, this is the fucking, like, belt, somebody's going to get knocked out. Somebody's going to get knocked out, right, let's do this, and it turned into something else.

[interviewer asks what's the worst shot he's taken]

So, by my trainer, 260 pounds, King of the Cage champion—like, five, six time champion—and he has an iron rod or, like, a metal rod in his shin […] So I got, like, a [works his jaw]—my shit still clicks [He came up and kicked you?] So we do this thing called a Shark Tank, right, so, like every person, like, ten people hop out around the cage and one person's in the cage, and whoever's in the cage is getting ready for their fight and every minute, or every two minutes, we switch out the fighter. So you get a fresh fighter every single time, and it doesn't matter how big or small [...] So I, it was my turn, and I'm faster than him, so I was bam bam bam—I was a fresh fighter, I was third round, so like—or second round—so we're going back and forth, boom boom boom, I'm hitting him, and he just, like, set up one shot, and as soon as he threw that leg, I—slow motion—saw bop! And I've never been hit this hard in my life, I—he hit me so hard, like, I hit the ground and popped back up. I bounced off the ground, and I thought I was still, like, alright, let's go, and I started throwing shots, and my head's just ringing, I don't know where I'm at, I don't really remember the time. I've never been knocked out, but that was the closest I've ever been knocked out, and then my jaw for the next month and a half, I had to, like, eat soup.

ON WHY HE FELT LIKE HE WON HIS LAST FIGHT: I hit him with a cross, his eyes were rolling back, so I thought okay, that's it, I did it, and he starts, like, slumping up, right, and as soon as he started slumping, I turned, and again, immaturity, so I felt like I got this, it was in the bag, everybody, like, got out of their seats, started yelling and blah blah blah, and and and I thought it was over.

ON IF HE'S FOCUSING MORE ON ACTING OR FIGHTING: Yeah, I always saw myself as a fighter more than anything else […] My dream was to get on UFC Ultimate Fighter and hopefully get on the UFC.

ON IF HE KNOWS NATE DIAZ: Yeah, so, I mean, everybody know everybody, right, especially in NorCal, so, and, we're fighting, we go to these different leagues and whatnot, and everybody—it's kind of like a little clique, little gang, blah blah blah, you stay with your gang. And there's quite a few times where ours and theirs got in a little… [gestures] And just off of, like, some dumb shit, like it's—it doesn't take much. And for a while, I kind of held a grudge until I came out here, and then finally, like, I don't know, I just dropped this shit and then Nate reached out, or, like, Nick sent me something like a comment in my Instagram, I—yeah. But. It's all love.

ON HOW OFTEN HE TRAINS/GOES TO THE GYM: [conversation drifted almost immediately but, essentially, he works fourteen to fifteen hour days and presumably finds it difficult to go to the gym, but his kids often accompany and train with him when he goes]

ON RAPPERS: [indistinguishable due to noise, but he prefers Kendrick Lamar and Lil Wayne over Drake]

ON WOMEN: [interviewer talks about a specific instance in which a man loans approx. 20k to his girlfriend to cover her expenses, yet when he needs money for their mortgage, she says no. He then asks if Ryan is able to overlook that, were he in the same situation] Nah. She gotta go.

[interviewer suggesting that saying a woman "can't get a man" or calling her a ho is the same as telling a man to "shut yo' broke ass up] But women make a lot of money off of that now. Like on OnlyFans and everything, women make hella money, I don't know if they even care anymore.

[interviewer on if women "really" want to work or not, or if they'd rather just be taken care of by men or be homemakers]: I say give them everything they want and then let them find out. Let them find out they don't want what they want.

interview ends because he has to leave.

[bee-devilling]

Oooh, that's so cool! Been a while since I listened to Ride the Cyclone. What's the fic about? And how much angst are we talking about? I am a sucker for angsty fics sometimes, whether or not I'm in the fandom.

The fic is set in an Everyone Lives AU (well, except Karnak and Virgil I guess. They're still very dead) but it goes into some detail as to how everyone is left after the accident. It ranges from temporary disabilities like broken bones, permanent disabilities like amputated limbs, and also not accident-related permanent disabilities, because when your body is under immense stress sometimes you discover shit you didn't realise you struggled with before.

But most of what I've written has been little bits and pieces after these events, some of which include:

All of the choir members learning ASL to communicate better with Ricky (unbeknownst to him, at least for the first while). Some members were fluent already (Specifically Constance. Noel would also sort of be in this category, but the second anyone tries to fingerspell something longer than 3 letters, he gives up.), some knew bits of it, like "please", "thank you", "yes" and "no", etc. and some were complete beginners. But they realised after the accident that Ricky has a lot to say, even if it wasn't verbally, and they wanted to bridge that gap. The first thing Ocean's signs to Ricky is a genuine, heartfelt apology for the way she's treated him.

Everyone is just A Little Off after the accident. Nothing big, no major health risks or nothing, and also I haven't quite decided what's happening to who. But one of them is just incredibly twitchy, and it's entirely uncontrollable. Another has levels of brain fog that is really starting to affect their studies. Another has heart palpitations, which took several incidents for them to realise they're not dying, this is just a thing that happens to them now. Not entirely the "came back wrong" trope, they're all basically the same people, but their bodies just didn't quite catch up to being reanimated.

Talia passing away. I feel a little horrible writing it, but I wanted to give her character a bit more respect than what most of the fandom gives her (which is just removing her in the quickest way possible to make room for Nischa) and I feel like letting Mischa grieve is a kinder way to remove her from the story. Also I haven't written the actual chapter in which this occurs yet, but I've written the 3 page letter (could be more, it's not 100% done) Talia sends Mischa to apologise for not telling him about her illness sooner.

Ocean dealing with hEDS after the accident (cos we love giving characters similar disabilities to me), because why not have her learn to stop spreading herself too thin by making a physical barrier in her way to stop her from pushing herself.

Mother-son bonding between Noel and his mom. Because yes, this is the woman who told her son to "dial it back" on his queerness but at the end of the day, it's 2009 in the middle of Bumfuck Nowhere, and I just feel that she wants her son to be safe above all else. Parents go about things the wrong way, but it doesn't make them inherently evil or abusive. Give her some understanding, some empathy.

Some of them just being a little queer. Or a lot queer. Noel fucking around with his gender expression, wearing dresses and makeup (though maybe not as risqué as the Monique Gibeau outfit), Ricky and Penny using each other to test out new pronouns, also I read a fic (I'll tag the writer if I can find it again) where Penny/Jane uses the name PJ and I wanna steal that idea so bad, I love it. Ocean cutting her hair short and wearing the "boys'" St. Cassian uniform (Butch Ocean is not a want, it's a need)

Anyway this is all I can remember right now, I'm sure there's more I could add. Thanks for the ask :D

[ghnosis]

*rips bong* (this is my bong in case you're curious)

so some of you have asked me, over the course of the 80-someodd interviews I have so far conducted, why I am doing my PhD on Ghost.

tonight a participant asked me in a manner that sort of finally clicked for me - because I assume all of you live inside my head with me and know why I do everything.

Rose, why are you doing your PhD on Ghost fandom?

when I was 12, American Idiot by Green Day came out. I lost my mind immediately. Green Day were my first hyperfixation. I promise if you ask about "Green Day Girl" to people I went to high school with, they would remember me. not only did Green Day teach me about the Iraq War, and American progressive politics in general, they also taught me, a bullied and weird child, what it meant not to give a shit. someone thinks I'm wrong/bad/inferior? cool! I don't fucking care. "now everybody do the propaganda," etc.

if I kept talking about everything I learned from Green Day, we'd be here all night. but. Green Day *also* taught me that music didn't have to sound like pop, or like country. that music could be written because someone felt something. that music could be used to express rage, a thing I felt in spades.

so from Green Day, my door is blown wide the fuck open and I get to learn about Dead Kennedys, about David Bowie, about Nirvana.

the other thing I know I love, back then in 2004, is learning. and teaching.

fast forward 15ish years, give or take (or pack me a second bowl and I'll tell you the middle), and I'm looking, halfheartedly and in a bummed-out manner, for a PhD program. I have my master's, I didn't like the experience, but I want that Dr. I've been presenting at conferences and doing some piddly academic writing on video games and the use of games in education, and I'm on a listserv for other people writing about games. I get an email from someone at Falmouth University about a PhD program there in "Dark Economies." who's listed on the email? none other than Tanya Fucking Krzywinska, my number one academic girl crush (in my subject area. my actual number one is a historian)!!!!!!

so I read this email and it's talking about the intersection of the occult, video games, and heavy metal. as I said, I've been writing about video games. one of the things I'd been writing about was a certain thing that happened in that industry ooooh, 14 years ago now. something in my brain slots into place.

the occult: I know what that is. occult rock, certainly. I maybe could squeeze in some punk or pop punk. the goffik. we got some MCR.

heavy metal. well, I'm a punk girl through and through, but I used to date that guy in the metal band and have seen Slayer et al multiple times live. sure. I can occupy that world. wait a minute. Ghost.

video games. the thing I'd been writing about, specifically the mistreatment of anyone who wasn't a cis guy. you know what that sounds a lot like? sounds a lot like going to metal shows with my ex. WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE. GHOST??? on TUNGLE DOT HELL???

so I log my ass back on to this website and I look at you, at all of you beautiful people I'd been reblogging ass wobbling gifs with for years, and I said "oh my god. are they me? is whatever is going on in there just a bunch of me's, except it's Ghost not Green Day?

are all of you finding the most beautiful thing there is to find, namely, empowerment and freedom, in the goofy Satan band music band? was it the heaviest thing you had heretofore encountered? did it crack open a yawning chasm in your soul? were you hurting in ways you didn't know how to articulate? are you learning what it means to take up space, to demand rights for yourself and for others, to truly let your fucking freak flags fly? are you feeling the stirring in your heart that only comes from religion (read: witchcraft) or from seeing the most important band in the fucking world live, in the flesh, singing TO YOU, sweating FOR YOU? if you are, I think we are fucking important and vital. I think that we can tell our stories and make a bunch of other weird little girls realise that they, too, have rights - including to transition.

cos immediately in doing this research I found out - you're also NOT me, in some really important and specific ways. maybe being AFAB in the US isn't part of it. maybe it's bigger than that. and I feel so lucky, so truly fucking blessed and lucky, to have gotten to speak to over eighty of you beautiful people, to have been trusted with your stories. to learn what makes YOU ache in your soul and how it is different to but also the same as mine. I have to stop now I'm gonna cry!!!!

[sparklepirate]

Alright, final thoughts on Inheritance.

;-;

Eragon continues to be the guy of all time. I love him. He really displayed a maturity in this book that I think supersedes anything we've seen of him in all the previous books, and just like... His strength really is that he is compassionate and thoughtful towards everyone. Even Murtagh, now, too. He had the realization of how close he was to sharing his fate, sought to understand him, and that was ultimately what led him to realizing his true name had changed, tearing down Galbatorix's wards, etc etc. I don't know that I could properly articulate everything about him here, but Eragon definitely became the hero he needed to be by the end of the series, 100%. He is the only person who could've possibly thought of the final piece of magic to defeat Galbatorix. Even the dreams of starlings are equal to the worries of a king. Ahhh, it's so good. ❤️ I'm so proud of him.

On the other hand, Barst was some bullshit. Bro. Like, on the one hand, it was a very good climactic battle for Roran to participate in, and his triumph was the perfect culmination of his character- cunning in battle, cunning in strategy, the intelligence and charisma to sway everyone around him into cooperating and working together, sheer determination so intensely strong that he was able to crush and Eldunarí with his bare hands. His role was perfect! But Barst as a villain was kinda... Well, first of all, he came completely the fuck out of nowhere. He wasn't mentioned at all until they were already on their way to Uru'baen, and then he was only MENTIONED. They didn't hype him up enough before the actual battle in my opinion. And ONE human and one Eldunarí being enough to beat the QUEEN OF THE ELVES in hand to hand combat...? I mean, I guess that could work but... Ehhh... I dunno. It kind of felt like an excuse for Islanzadí to die, and Roran to triumph more than anything. It was cool, but it was probably the weakest part of the plot in my opinion.

That said though I think it's pretty safe to say this was my favorite book of the series. I'm having trouble recalling all the iconic shit (I took a pretty long break from reading about halfway through the book) but there was soooo much cool stuff in here. The Nasuada being kidnapped and being helped by Murtagh arc is GOLD, Vroengard was amazing, and all the battles were SO well written??? I need to study these books more closely just to learn how to write compelling fight scenes. Honestly, it's gripping stuff. I was on the edge of my seat, despite knowing how everything turns out.

Nasuada is amazing, Arya is amazing, Saphira is amazing, Roran is amazing, MURTAGH is amazing... I think I already liked basically every character in this series going in, but I somehow like them even more now that I've read it again. Everyone is so good, and interesting, and I want to be everyone's friend. I think the only character I liked less this go around was Orrin (sorry to my Orrin stan friend out there). That said, though, I don't dislike him, I think I just went from positive to neutral about him.

Orrin honestly just didn't get nearly as much screen time as I remembered? We only see him a handful of times throughout the book and each time the only thing he's doing is getting drunk and making an ass of himself, though... Idk, he also has a point? He has his own unique point of view, and his own unique experiences that lead him to his own ideas of how to conduct things, and it is definitely kind of true that like no one ever really listens to him or takes him seriously, despite being the King of Surda for w while at that point. I don't think there was a more graceful solution to the division of power/territory after Galbatorix was killed than what was decided upon, because like... Realistically, Orrin was never gonna be high king. He had good reason to assert for the throne, sure, but actually ascending to the throne? That is SUCH a far reach for power, unless the aim was to assimilate Surda in and have all of the humans under one crown. Nah, Nasuada giving up territory and ascending to the throne was the better choice, even if I do empathize with Orrin's point of view. It seems like Nasuada did as well, because even though she was persistent, she seemed to be gentle and sympathetic with him. He even had his line about like... "Why do you even want to do this?" "None of you would understand." Idk. Very interesting, but not tremendously notable compared to others, and he definitely was a bit of an asshole at times.

Murtagh my beloved my BELOVED I'm honestly just gonna make a whole separate essay post about him because his shit is Complicated™️ but one little note it was such a small detail at the end but I love that he said to Eragon "Hey check in on Arya about killing Shruikan. It couldn't have been easy for an elf to kill a dragon." And Eragon hadn't even THOUGHT of that and Arya probably would've been the last thing on his mind but he still was just so thoughtful. He is thoughtful like his brother and he cares so deeply and AHHH!!! And actually I want to see him and Arya be buds. I think they would have a cool dynamic. And also I love that he never once hesitated to acknowledge Eragon as his brother and just wanted to be with him and finally Eragon also acknowledged him as a brother too that last scene with them was just so good 🥹

Also I love how Thorn's like only spoken line in the whole series (until November) is to boop Eragon on the forehead and say "Hi. Thank you for not killing my rider. :)" and Murtagh is just like "Yeah thanks for that. 😒"

Love how quick Saphira and Fírnen hit it off lol. They really played tag and wrestled for like five minutes and then were like "Alright we're gonna go fuck like now see y'all later ✌️" And Eragon's like "Is this??? Okay???" And Saphira's like "Pfft dragon's don't mate for life 🤷‍♀️" Their little romance was so cute.

CAN WE FUCKING TALK ABOUT QUEEN AND RIDER ARYA??? That shit is by FAR the wildest endgame decision Chris made because like. That. That's so fucking. Oh my god??? Like, one, poor Arya!! She just wanted to be a rider and have adventures! She probably would've either spent her time happy herrying eggs across Alegaësia, or she would've gone with Eragon to Mount Arngor, but you can NOT convince me that she would be particularly happy as queen. She's grieving the loss of her mother that she barely had a relationship with, and denied the other eleven leaders for a full week before they convinced her to do it!!! Girlie!!! You deserve to be happy!!! And, two, the obvious point of holy shit that is such an enormous power imbalance in favor of the elves. Like, there is a REASON the riders were separate in the first place!! And, you know, Galbatorix JUST died and now there is another rider/monarch and it's the ELVES who have historically been both the most powerful race, and the race with the best relationship with the dragons. And Arya is the ONLY RIDER LEFT IN ALEGAËSIA!!! Because Eragon is gone (and stubbornly convinced that He Shall Never Again Return Oh Woe Is Him) and Murtagh is... Also gone to an extent. He at the very least holds no political power. Basically everyone hates him, and those that don't can't do more than, like, pardon him, for whatever that's worth. I just can't see this not rubbing people the wrong way, and not coming to an eventual head. Nasuada and Arya are both great, but I just get the feeling there is going to eventually be some sort of conflict between them, no matter how much neither of them want it. I do think Arya is perhaps the least corruptible person, other than maybe Eragon but... I don't knowwww maaaan it's complicated!!

Also I regret to inform everyone that rereading the last little bit did make me ship Eragon and Arya a teensy tinsy itty little bit. Just a liiiiittle bit. Like idk the last fairth and the telling each other their true names and calling each other their true names and Eragon's grief at leaving and his vow to love her forever and her insinuation of maybe one day just got to me alright???

There were a lot of cool magic things in this book! Like the pocket space that the Eldunarí were kept in? Cuaroc's body? More shit that I'm forgetting? God I would just love, like, a magical encyclopedia or something idk. Lots of cool shit. And artifacts!! I want to learn about more magical artifacts.

Also at my Galbatorix stan mutual? I'm a certified Murtagh Girlie™️ and therefore obligated to hold a grudge but like. I do get it. He is a... Very competent villain.

Alright I think that's it for now but. Wow. Man oh man. There is a reason I love this series. I'll probably think of some more things to talk about later, and I'm gonna be participating in the Big Bang, and I'll probably post about The Fork, The Witch, and The Worm as I reread that but yeah!!! Can't wait for November!!

[2braincellslz]

My Queen

Ship: Fem!reader x Robb Stark

Desc: the new Targaryen Queen replaces the evil queen Cersei Lannister. Her White Wolf gushes over her.

Notes: so this was a request but I fucked up and lost it lol. Also not my favorite, it's very short, but I'm really excited to write for Robb. Also idk shit about the Targaryen house, I'm better suited for the Ironborn and the Starks but I still tried. Also dont know about about the iron throne and I have yet to read asoiaf. Sorry.

Warnings: implied violence, not prof read.

(Y/n) didnt think she would make it this far. Hell, she didnt even think she would make it half way. It didnt seem real, standing infront of the long sout after goal. How could something so many people died for just be sitting right in front of her.

She steped forward, reaching out and feeling the throne. It was cool, cold, stone cold. She ran her finger across the dull edge of one of the swords, only stopping for a moment at the broken chips.

(Y/n) remembered when she was young, growing up with her siblings Danni and Viserys. She learned more about the throne then her siblings. She lerned about the importance of each and every one of them. She even knew some of them by name.

"The guards are taken care of." A voice, one of comfort, snapped (y/n) out of her thoughts.

"Thank you." The words were simple but they got the point across.

"It's so... so..." (y/n) smiled, looking over her shoulder. "It dosnt feel real."

"I was just thinking that." Her finger traced one of the carvings in a sword. "Come here, my wolf." (Y/n) held out her hand.

A callused hand intertwined (y/n)'s.

"Do you remember all the storys I've told you about the iron throne?" (Y/n)  asked, she felt Robb's thumb rubbing over the back of her hand.

"How could I forget? You tell me a new one every night." She could feel Robbs apprehensiveness.

"Here." (Y/n)  led Robb closer to the throne, moving his hand closer to the throne. "This one, the one with the engravings, this one has always been my favorite."

She led Robb's hand across the engraving. "Its special."

Robb slowly but surely let (Y/n) lead him. He glanced over at (y/n), the delicate yet dangerous look in her eye only made his heart throb more.

"Theres no real meaning to it. No important warrior. Its just...  pretty."

"Pretty." Robb repeated, not even looking at the sword anymore.

(Y/n) looked up from the sword, letting out a soft giggle. "You arnt even looking at the sword."

Robb's smile was soft, he was growing in a beard. It suited his face well but (y/n) was ready for her cleaned up prince back.

"My darling and Queen." Robb hummed, taking her other hand. "You are stunning tonight."

"You are so..." (y/n) huffed. Her head was all messed up, sweaty and worn out. Fighting a war, especially in the capital, was impossibly hard. She wasnt one to just stand back and let her men fight for her.

"Please, you deserve a rest." Robb led (y/n) to the throne.

(Y/n) sat back, leaning in to the throne. It wasnt exactly comfortable but it was powerful. It felt right. It felt like home. The hall was home and this throne was home. Her life and goal.

But nothing was as important as her husband.

"You look perfect." Robb kneeled in front of (y/n). He took his sword out of his sheath, placing it infront of her feet.

"My Queen. My lovey Queen. I am but your humble servant." Robb poured his heart out, words coming out before he could think them over. "Please let me and my men serve you."

"Oh my white wolf." (Y/n) hummed, pulling Robb closer to her. "You are more then a servant." (Y/n) stood up, holding Robbs face. "You are my prince and my knight."

Robbs hands found there way to (y/n)'s waist.

"My queen."

[apolloissobbing]

Writing Babies

I love you all but some of you do not know how to write children, specifically babies. So today I'm going to break down everything I have learned from helping raise three kids (my little siblings). Not to mention the last two are still one and almost two respectively, as well as a cousin who is almost three. I will be using them as examples.

Zero-Six months: In the first six months a baby isn't going to be doing shit besides getting off its binky in the sixth. Though it is good to note that sometimes parents won't completely take their kids off of binkies, most tend to just transition them to only using their binky at night to sleep. The main reason I've found for this is so they aren't drinking so much formula at night. However, I will say some babies will start babbling around the end of this period, as well as starting to roll over at 4-6 months, which is crucial to crawling.

Six-Twelve months: This is when we start doing things!!! Specifically walking and crawling. Most babies will start crawling at 7-12 months, and most start walking from 10 to 12 months. However, it isn't uncommon for a baby to start early or late. I started walking at nine months, but my little sister didn't start walking until she was a year and six months, and my brother is a year and two months and he hasn't started walking yet. Now, towards the 11-12 month mark, babies might start saying full words. Using my brother as an example, he turned one two months ago (in May) and now has a few words he says. He says go, more, please, bye, mama, dada, and baba. My little sister, however, is turning two in August and has a larger vocabulary. She says names and tells when she's hungry or cold, or when she needs a diaper change. Younger babies don't have a big vocabulary, and most won't start saying full sentences until they're two years old. I will say this again, it is not uncommon for children to start earlier or later, so if you really want the one-year-old in your story to be talking and walking, specify the months.

On the topic of months, you know how a lot of people get annoyed when parents say 18, 20, or 14 months? Well, that's because until they're 2 1/2 - 3 there is a difference!!! They're still developing. Once you get to about 4 or 5 you can just say, 4 or 5, but a two-year-old is a lot less developed than a two and two and a half-year-old. Every month is a month a baby learns something. Hence why I'd say my sister is twenty-two months to a parent, but say she's two and a half to someone who doesn't know.

Remember to do your own research, but I hope this helped!!