#all while not being able to find hope in himself

[ataraxianne]

This will be long and I apologise in advance, but I've spent the last hours researching and analysing so here we go

Analysis of the flowers in the recent Helluva Boss characters' portraits in the new Spring collection (or, at least, what I think these flowers are)

Blitzø ~ White geranium: this flower mainly symbolises pure love, but also innocence, purity and protection. While protection is quite evident in Blitz's character, the other three meanings may seem out of place, but that is precisely what they've been doing with Blitz's personality this whole time. He follows the "they think I'm a monster, so I will become one" path, but despite his flaws and self-sabotage he is a nice person, full of love that he does not know how to properly express and he is not really the one to blame for the accident that happened years ago at the circus. He is not the heartless imp he make himself up to be, but a rather simple, hurt guy who's hoping and longing for love

Loona - Purple rose: this is also an interesting choice. The main meaning of this flower is the "love at first sight", but it also gives the idea of an endless love. It is, then, also a symbol of nobility and royalty: this may be a reference to the fact that in the group, she is not only the only one who can read and use the Grimoire, but that has also learned a lot of spells from it (ex: being able to give herself a human disguise). Unless there are also other possible future connections with her and nobility...

With Moxxie and Millie there really aren't any double or secreat meaning (or none that I could find)

Moxxie - Hesperis matronalis: this flower is present in many legends, all related to a promise of eternal love and fidelity (of course, this is for his marriage with Millie). I read somewhere that they're also a symbol for loyalty, which may be a reference to his relationship with Blitz (and also something he probably struggled too after Chaz betrayed him), and its name "matronali" is a reference to ancient Roman matronae, probably a reference to his mother (who was featured in the merch as well)

Millie - Geranium pyrenaicum: apparently in folklore they were said to counter love spells, which is hilarious considering the serenade Moxxie did to her at Ozzie's, where he literally says he feels under a love spell when he's with her. Maybe it's a way to say that their love is actually real and that it will last, since this flower also symbolises love, joy and health - some of them also protection

Stolas - Dahlia: (I'm going to fucking die)(when I tell you I SCREAMED) Yellow dahlias are a symbol of affection and gratitude (THANK YOU BLITZ. FOR MAKING ME SO HAPPY. EVEN IF FOR ONLY A LITTLE WHILE)(kill me now please). These flowers are said to despise cold temperatures since it prevents them from flourishing (call 911 I'm begging you). They also symbolise kindness, dignity, resilience and inner strenght, together with eternal love, and in some cases they're also viewed as a symbol for regality

Octavia - Purple hortensia: oh this is interesting. Hortensia's significance may vary depending on the culture: while in Japan they're a symbol for an heartfelt emotion and apology, in Europe they symbolise arrogance and vanity. I think both these versions apply to Octavia and to her way of, not seeing the world in general, but probabily her now-complicated relationship with her father. She's a bit arrogant in her teenage headstrongness, but she still loves and cares for him. Purple hortensias, then, specifically symbolize a desire to deeply understand (again, definitely in relation to Stolas)

Fizz - Orange carnation: these flowers are said to generally symbolize positive feelings, while the orange ones specifically connotates happiness, warmth, determination and creativity, but also desire and enthusiasm - all qualities that are easily attributable to him.

Verosika - Azaleas: this one is interesting too: these flowers convey a lot of different meanings, but the most typical one is womanhood, femininity, but also passionate love, especially in their red variant. They can also mean "taking care of" (both of one's self or of others, but even "take care of yourself for me"). Another prominent answer, then, was temperance (as per Moxxie and her mother, Verosika too is featured in other new merch products among which there is also a scene of her peacefully sat somewhere in Sloth Ring - where she stayed for rehab). From the trailer it is clear that, at least in one episode, she will have an important role both for Stolas and for Blitz, and maybe we will also have some more information about her relationship with my favourite disaster imp, together with infos about herself and, at this point, a possible recovery for her and her clearly-still-broken-but-she-won't-admit-it broken heart?

(I'm starting to get tired, I guess y'all are too)(If you even jept reading this far)(I'm almost done, I swear)

I'm putting the sins together simply because their flowers are strictly related to their "sinful roles" and not to their characters

Ozzie - Poppies: I mean, I guess in this case we're referencing more the opium you can extract from them, so lust's and sex's narcotic and feverish effects on people

Beelzebub - White peony: apparently they convey an idea of shamefulness?? Probably what people feel after drinking whatever they can at her parties lmao. Also disgrace and, to a certain amount, wealth and prosperity

Mammon - Mimosa: honestly here the only meaning I want to give is that they smell of piss

LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ALL ARE, THEY MAKE ME BELIEVE IN LOVE AGAIN

Okay so, they're all the same flowers, lilies, which in general represent purity, probably in relation to the depth of their love. However, there are additional meanings depending on their collours

M&M - Yellow lilies: symbols of joy, happiness and desire of enjoyment (they're each others' shadows and main interest, this is all too accurate)

Fizzarozzie - Blue lilies: serenity, rebirth and new beginnings (EXACTLY WHAT FIIZ DESERVES AND WHAT THIS RELATIONSHIP IS GIVING HIM)

Stolitz - Red lilies: they symbolize pASSION AND ROMANTIC LOVE, THEY'RE USED TO EXPRESS DEEP FEELINGS OF LOVE AND ITS STRONG INTENSITY

[maraudersmyloves]

i’m a slut for the “he says something bad about someone else but you think it’s about you” trope.

soooo, do you think you could write something like that with james. and like he doesn’t know why you seem to be mad at him and why you’re kinda pulling away.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆｡ﾟ. ───

Pairing: James potter x reader

Warnings: cursing, some angst

Word count: 745

Disclaimer 1: Everything on this Blog is fiction!!!

Disclaimer 2: A part two is planned and currently being written but I wanted to get this out quickly so I hope you understand that I broke it up into two parts

Sypnosis: You overhear the marauders talking and assume it's about you, causing you to distance yourself from a perplexed James.

"Distance". :☆｡ﾟ. ────

you jump down the stairs to the common room, following the familiar voice of your boyfriend. He's laughing with the other marauders and you are about to join them on the couches when Sirius groans in annoyance, "She's just always clinging to you, mate. It's annoying."

You freeze as you watch James' face screw up in embarrassment. He sighs and lets his head fall back while covering his eyes, "I know but I feel bad. She doesn't really have anyone else."

Your mind races trying to find excuses. Maybe he's talking about someone else. But, who? You don't know all of his Friends it could be anyone. But the description fits, doesn't it? Clingy? Desperate? He's always hugging and kissing you, no way he doesn't want you to do the same. He just feels bad.

You feel hot tears hit your cheek and quickly turn around to run back to your dorm. Before you can drone them out completely, you hear Peter pipe up. "I know, but she's started to hang out with me too. It's getting a lot and I tried to be nice but she talks so much."

Oh.

Even Peter hates you.

You didn't think Sirius liked you anyway and of course James hurt but Peter? He was so nice and accepting of your quiet nature, gardening, and playing chess with you. You misinterpreted it all wrong, once again.

All around you, students are talking and playing stupid games. Now, that it's gotten warmer every fucking student felt the need to hang out outside. But can you really judge when you're doing the same?

Yes!! Because you're not screaming and jumping around with your oh-so-great friend group. You're just sitting under a tree trying to read. The sun is glaring on the page, the wind is blowing your hair in your face and 49 different people are talking way too loud around you.

It's fucking annoying and now James is approaching too. Fucking traitor. He lets himself fall down next to you, spreading out his Limbs to take up as much space as he possibly can. He stays that way for a few seconds before he shifts to lie next to you. "hey, love." You ignore him and the way your skin tingles when he shifts closer to gain some skin contact.

He pouts when you don't answer, expecting you to be focused on the book. In reality, you haven't been able to focus and read a single word for at least ten minutes. He pokes your cheek in a way you'd usually find cute, but now it only makes your mind clouded with questions. Why is he doing this?

He sighs when you still don't give him the attention he craves, "Watcha reading," he asks stretching out the last word in a sweet song-like tone. "A book," you answer flatly before abruptly standing up.

He looks up at you with something you could only describe as puppy eyes and asks where you're going as if you hurt him deeply. "My dorm," you answer. It's short without any explanations or elaborations.

You turn around to leave, not seeing James' hurt look. He quickly jumps up again to follow you, grabbing you by the arm. "Where are you going," he questions with his eyebrows creased in worry and lips tight together.

You gently pull away your arm, not wanting to seem too angry with him. It's not his fault you're so annoying. "I just want to be alone right now," you say quietly. You can't bear to meet his dark and desperate eyes, he looks too sad. You know better that to believe it.

James takes a step back, wanting to respect your boundaries even if the lost proximity makes him want to tear off his skin. "Oh, okay."

"Sorry."

James flops down onto his bed with a groan. He bangs his head against the pillow a few times, too. For good measure. What did he do? Did he make you uncomfortable? Merlin, he hopes he didn't.

Maybe you stopped loving him and felt too bad to tell him. No, no, no. He can't think about that for long or he'll start crying. What did he do to lose you? Then again, he never deserved you in the first place. Not your kind eyes or lovely smile. You represented love, so why would you need his when you've got plenty oozing out of you at all times.

You're perfect and he lost you.

[logansargeantsbabymom]

GIRL YOUR NEW LEWIS STORY????? HELLO??? WHY ITS SO GOOD???PLS CONTINUE????

ask and you shall receive. ENJOYYYYYYY🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🎀🎀🎀🎀

ladies and gentlemen I present to you,

Pillowtalk

Lewis Hamilton x Fem!Reader

part 1 I

Warnings: Smut, Oral, Overstimulation, Light Slapping, Squirting,

Once both Lewis and I found out that I was capable of squirting he’s been doing anything he can to get me to do it again.

He’s fucked me in so many positions trying to get me to squirt again. Missionary, Doggy, Cowgirl, Reserve Cowgirl, The Pretzel, I mean we’ve done it all and each orgasm wasn’t the one Lewis was hoping for.

“Lew, Puh-Please, I can’t take this anymore. I’m so sore” I whimpered against his lips, my thighs shaking with such force I looked like I was trying to win a twerk off.

“We’re not done until I pull another squirting orgasm from you darling” the look in Lewis’ eyes told me that he in fact was not lying and that he would actually stay here all night until he was able to pull another out of me.

We’d been in the Hot Seat position for the last almost 10 minutes and Lewis was hoping that this new position would be a game changer in terms of making me squirt again. The one hand that Lewis had resting flat against my stomach traveled down to my clit, rubbing harsh and fast circles around the already swollen and already overstimulated bud.

I honestly lost count of how many orgasms I’ve had today from the last 2 positions alone, imagine how many more Lewis is gonna pull out of me as he continues to to find what made me explode.

“You gonna tell me how I got you to squirt or are you really gonna make me fuck you every single way until I get that reaction again?”

I dont know how I did it, really, it just kinda happened. It couldn’t have been the overstimulation, I’ve been overstimulated I don’t know how many times in the last 45 minutes. Was it the handcuffs? Maybe, that had been the first time I’ve been handcuffed. Or was it the fact that I was helpless while Lewis provided himself his own pleasure?

“Mmm d’know”

“Or was it when I had you cuffed up and helpless?” a moan escapes past my lips “Do you want to try that again? Hmm, wanna get locked up again?” a breathless ‘yes’ escapes past my lips.

With that, Lewis recuffs my wrists to the handcuffs that he left hanging from the bed posts. A look of adoration and lust filled Lewis’ eyes as he stared at me. I was helpless, naked and aching for him. I watched as Lewis’ eyes raked my whole body before ultimately landing on my core and he watched as my pussy leaked for him in anticipation.

“I can see your pussy dripping for me. This must be what made you tick, you like being helpless” My pussy clenched around nothing. Something about his words did something to me. “I’m gonna eat you out again, okay princess” Lewis stared in my eyes, not moving a muscle until he got a response and my subtle nod was enough clarification for him.

Without warning Lewis licked a stripe up my slit, circling my clit before sliding down and into my whole. Lewis repeats this motion a few times before he places a soft kiss on my bud and stops. My hands instinctively go to push his head back down given that I was close to my 12th orgasm tonight, god knows how many more I can take before I actually die from pleasure.

“Don’t want me to stop, do you?” A muffled ‘no’ escapes my lips, the muffled noises I made quickly turned into a mess of moans as I feel 2 fingers insert me.

Lewis’ fingers are long and girthy enough to hurt for a second as they were thrusted into me. Lewis sets a decent pace as he leans up to kiss my lips

“Please, never stop. feels s’good” the second those words left my mouth Lewis did in fact stop. A whimper left my lips at the sudden loss of contact but Lewis quickly caught me up to speed on what was going on in his head.

“S’okay darling, I’m just grabbing some more stuff for us to have fun with.” I watched intently as he walked right back to the bed side table, opening the drawer pulling out a blindfold, vibrator and a cock ring. Walking back over to the bed Lewis quickly pulled the blindfold over my eyes, placing the cock ring on himself after setting it to a medium fast pace and placing the bigger vibrator on the highest setting, slowly placing light touches of my body with it as it send small electrical bolts all throughout my body.

Lewis first started off by placing the big vibrator against the skin under my collarbone and he watched as my body tensed at the feeling. He let it rest there for a second before slowly bringing it down to the valley between my breasts, slowly gliding it over one of my nipples while his mouth attached to the other, tongue circling around the bud of my nipple.

Having one of my senses taken from me meant that my others heightened. Lewis' touch sent me into a frenzy before losing my vision. Now? My god, I was gonna explode at any second due to the vibrating against my breasts. A pathetic string of moans and whimpers leave my lips as Lewis keeps sucking on my nipples, the hand that was previously circling the drags the vibrator down to my aching clit. The vibrations bringing me close to the orgasm Lewis left me hanging with and the way my body jolted, he knew I was close which prompted him to attack my pussy with his mouth.

Everything was too much for poor old oversensitive me. Too much pleasure, too much pain, my nerves were going into overdrive “Lewis, please. I’m gonna c-cum, fuck fuck fuck fuckkkkkk” my body shook with my 13th orgasm. This time, it was the squirting orgasm Lewis was begging for. When I started squirting, something snapped inside Lewis and he opened his mouth that was already by my pussy. He collected my pussy juices before spitting out some and swallowing the rest.

“Fuck, Darling. You taste s’good. I love every bit of you, mmmm.” Lewis murmured as he continues to work me through this high. His lips attack my pussy again as he murmurs more things about how good I taste and how he could never get enough of me. My body shook as my legs encase his head between them.

Lewis’ mouth attacking my pussy was brief because after a few laps of his tongue on my already sensitive clit, he grabs my thighs that were trapping him and forced them open before aggressively thrusting his rock hard and aching cock in me.

My hands instinctively reach for the blindfold so I can see him as he relentlessly fucks my pussy at such a pace I was sure the whole neighborhood knew we were fucking. The bed moves inch by inch with each thrust and squeak of the bed.

At this point I had tears streaming down my face, I was losing my voice by how much I was screaming out his name and moaning in pleasure, my body was littered with so many hickeys it looked like I was found in a huge pile of snow and had major frostbite.

I can tell Lewis is getting close to his orgasm by the way his hips faltered and the grip he had on my waist.

“Mmm let me see your pretty face as you cum again.” his one hand goes to reach for the keys to undo my cuffs “you like my cock buried deep inside you, don’t you?”

The second my hands were set free, I ripped off the blindfold and my body reached behind his to pull him closer to me.

“Harder Lew, fuckkk I’m gonna cum. fuck fuck please i’m cumming.” I squirted again. Harder this time. Lewis only lasted a few more thrusts before he spilled his cum inside of my cunt.

“Fuckkkk, mmm you feel s’good. such a slut for me, my beautiful baby.” Lewis fucked me through both of our highs before he plopped his body down on mine as we both tried to catch our breath, his cock still buried deep inside my pussy.

Lewis pulled out of me before he flipped me around so we were cuddling.

“goodnight beautiful, we have a LONG morning awaiting us”

taglist

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999

[skelliko]

kazutora hanemiya |°- is it platonic or romantic?

|°- Baji and chifuyu tried to convince kazu that he's actually in love (good timeline)

normally kazutora wouldn't be the one to get so confused over his feelings about another, normally he'd be seeking the opportunity to be able to feel 'love' and the comfort that's supposed to come with it. but right now this feeling that he's getting is the most prominent and confusing feeling he's ever gotten.

this feeling has grown to be more than uncomfortable, it's tightening around his throat so much that he needs to wrap his hand around the base of his neck, feeling his pulse thumping through the thin layer of skin that's in-between the gap of his collar bones. his stomach feels like an empty cave that holds a singular spider making pointless webs that won't be able to catch anything, and his chest seems to always feel some sort of anguishing heat that could also be mistaken for coldness.

he's not in love. is he? if this is the feeling that people get when they start to like someone then he wishes to erase every form of a sappy, love bullshit. this doesn't feel romantic at all, its agonising.

your perfume fills his nostrils but you're no where near by, it's just him alone almost unable to sit through this aching tightness. it's gotten so bad that he feels like he needs to throw up in order to banish this painful feeling. but he's not going to purge, that'd be an obscure decision to make for himself. but him sitting up on his bed with trembling hands makes it seem that maybe its not a bad attempt.

you're his friend, nothing more. sure he feels like he can listen to you forever while finding your rambling cute. and sure he always feels the need to playfully hold your hand which then causes some laughter about the odd movements you both do. and when you both take unexpected pictures here and there of each other; hes always looking back at the photos he's taken of you longer than a minute whilst smiling at them, seeing your captured smile makes him smile. but there's nothing wrong with thinking or feeling that way about a friend, right? yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.

but the thought of you being with someone else puts his stomach through a repetitive feeling of falling, it's as if kazutora is in a constant state of being pushed off a high ledge. you being with someone else spikes his anxiety high and the need of being with you is always there to distract you from any other potential takers that could snatch you up, take, and keep you away from kazu.

---

it wasn't until after a week of this bullshitting that kazutora ended up talking about this odd feeling about you to Baji and chifuyu. chifuyu certainly had the most fun with this little discussion out of the three of them whereas Baji took it a tad bit more seriously knowing that kazutora's feelings shouldn't be taken as a joke.

kazu yapping his heart out about you, mentioning how he feels this and that with you, how it pains him when you're pained and he'd do anything to keep you safe and secure. but also how he feels empty on the inside when thinking about you, how he wishes that time could just stop when your both having a wholesome, heart melting moment because he's afraid that someone will rip kazutora's hand away from your grasp and replace him making neither of your eyes to ever meet again.

"seems like you love her" chifuyu spoke up, he held a little smile and rested his jaw on his palm almost as if he was fascinated when listening to kazu talk about his 'best friend'

"I don't though! I'm just attached to her- or something like that" immediately protesting against the comment whilst waving his hand around at 'whatevet' but opened his mouth again after a second "I think..."

"you think?" chifuyu pestered in hopes of getting kazutora to think more clearly. it's clear that he's yet to understand what he feels right now.

even though Baji became lost in the middle of kazutora's rant cause he kept on going back and forth from feeling happy about you to then feeling almost anguished; the question that was asked next certainly hit kazutora where it pained him the most.

"oi, if you can't tell if it's platonic or more, picture her at her wedding that isn't yours. are you happy for her or do you wish to be the one marrying her?" (idea isnt mine, i got this from a video)

chifuyu looked over at Baji but then immediately moved his eyes over at kazutora to see his reaction "ohhh good one!"

"that's stupid. marriage is a big thing y'know" kazu rolled his eyes over to the side but deep down he was thinking

you at a wedding? he couldn't help but grow angry at the thought of you being off the market for romance. he grew nauseous and sick at just the thought of you being latched onto another person that's not him but he wasn't gonna show that. he doesn't want you to be with someone else but that doesn't mean he wants to date you either, he just wants you all to himself... which thinking back at that now makes it sound really selfish of him. is he even actually capable of romance?

he began to fiddle with the folds of his trousers by his knee whilst sat down on the carpet floor in Baji's room. taking hold of a fold with his pointer finger and thumb and rubbing the fabric together creating some very subtle vibrations against his finger tips as it forcebly brushes against itself. kazutora stayed silent.

"soooo you gonna answer?" - chifuyu

kazu didn't even look up at him, he didn't look up at all since his eyes were just down at this fingers fiddling with his trousers. on the outside he may seem distracted but on the inside he was very much deep in thought, he kept going back and forth on how to verbalise this feeling to then wanting to just shut down, leave and not talk about you or to anyone at all.

but what if the time that he's here, you've already found someone new to talk to, you'll cast Kazutora away and hell never see you again... once that thought popped up he stopped fiddling and it was only then that he made a decision.

"i want her forever. i could love her if it'll mean she stays with me" though as he said this it didn't seem like he was all too happy about it, but he also didn't seem upset by it either. it was as if kazutora found a solution but that said solution seemed to be the only way even tho he hoped there to be more.

"you don't seem too happy about that" baji raising a singular brow

"cause I want to love her but I feel like I'll be unable to"- kazu

"but you just said that you'd love her..." chifuyu mentioned, then silence filled the room for a breif moment, kazutora opened his mouth to speak but before he could make a sound something clicked in Chifuyu's brain "wait don't tell me you're emotionally unavailable! that'd make so much sense but also make things more harder to understand"

"hah?" beyond confused as to what chifuyu is talking about here

"no ignore him tora" Chifuyu looked over at Baji a little offended at the disagreement "you just need a big push, it's clear you want her but i think your not allowing yourself to. your in denial"

"I'm not in 'denial' I know what I feel" kazu protesting even though that's far from the truth,

"and that is?" -baji

silence filled the room again. neither of them have any actual experience with the feeling of love in terms of romance but yet they managed to put kazutora in a corner. because although he's the one who's the closest in getting with or has talked to a girl that makes him flutter; he's the only one who can't understand the feeling of 'love'. it's as if his feelings are behind a blurred window whereas for everyone else it's clear, no matter how hard he squints his eyes to try and see what's behind the window, theres always a possibility that he may think wrongly about the feelings and mix this current feeling for something else. hence why he can't tell if this 'love' is platonic or romantic.

chifuyu broke the silence with a question "would you date her?" to which kazutora responded with a pained and stressed "I don't know" any more of this and he might just get agitated from the amount of strain he has with his emotions

"okay wait let's start off simple" chifuyu waving his hands in front of him to switch up the question. Baji looked over at him a little confused on what he's gonna do or ask but after a few questions in, he understood clearly what game chifuyu is playing.

asking him some basic questions such as, "would you hold her hand?" to which kazu said how you both already do. "would you kiss her?" and with almost no hesitation kazu replied with a yes. "would you text her every day and night?" maybe? it depends "would you tell her that you love her? lets start with platonicly" yes. "would you do something sexual with her" if she's comfortable.

before either chifuyu or Baji could ask another question in hopes of kazu being able to open his mind more, kazutora spoke up and cut their next question off.

these questions went back and forth and over time kazutora knew what Chifuyu was doing, and although some questions seemed to be a little hard to answer at first, he felt almost relieved to answer them because over time he managed to link everything up and be able to unblur the window from before. he finally understood... kinda.

"I'd date her..." but even with saying this out loud it still made his stomach turn, something still wasn't right which made him feel as if something was wrong with what he just claimed, or maybe theres something wrong with him. but he didn't verbalise this feeling.

both Baji and chifuyu smiled at kauz's little statement about wanting to date you, they even exclaimed a few words here and there as if they were proud of him for being able to realise that he generally wants you.

"but I think I'll wait for her to do the first move" kazutora's smile died down a little from before and after stating this their 'little' celebration also died down

"oh c'mon! you went through all this just to not come forward to her?" - chifuyu

"that makes sense" Baji nodding his head but then froze for a second when a thought came up "but what if she never does?" this definitely didn't cause kazu to become relieved, it caused the opposite.

'shit' he thought. there's always that being a possibility. if you never end up making a move on taking the friendship further into it being romantic then he'll never be able to express himself the way he wishes to, he won't be able to cuddle you close to the point where it seems as if your soles would conjoin, he won't be able to feel his face being plastered with your sweet kisses, and he certainly won't be able to call you his.

why is 'love' so frustrating?

"I think you should make your move" Baji suggested making chifuyu to nod his head in agreement. but it only caused kazu to let out a sigh, tired? frustrated? feeling nauseous again? it's all three at the same time.

he knows he can't keep up with this any longer, if for one day he feels fine with you but then the next he feels like he needs to be put in a mental asylum; it'll eventually cause him to break completely, and that's far from what he wants for himself. and then again, what if you love him but only platonicly? even if kazutora secretly is still unsure what he feels, he knows that if you were to make the first move hell agree to whatever words you spew out if it means that you both will get together and be able to do all those comforting, romantic activities.

he buried his face in his hands and mumbled a few curse words to himself which caused Chifuyu and Baji to share an almost apologetic look. "hey, don't beat yourself up! were thinking of the worst case here but what if she's feeling the same way as you" chifuyu spoke up trying to ease some sort of pain, Baji pitched in too "I reckon shes feeling the same way you are"

"forget it, I'll get over her at some point" kazu lifting his head up from his hands and repositioning himself comfortably on the floor. it's like his whole demeanor changed from being all beat up to just brushing it off with a 'whatever' but we all know this is just a facade and he'll eventually break again, hes not that strong in terms of being able to contain his emotions.

 ♡---

as of currently, he's given up on the topic and there's nothing that could make him re-continue the subject. but one day, he'll get his senses knocked back on alert and his eyes will glisten with hearts because his mind had decided that he's sick and tired of this longing feeling which will lead to him confess about his emotions and feelings towards you. it could be months, weeks, days, or of the strain that he has is too much right now it could even be a few hours, but who knows.

if there's one thing that's for sure though, it's that kazutora truly does love her but he's just unfamiliar with the feeling and due to that it's making him freak out. it's like putting a rain forest lizard in a desert and expecting it to immediately adapt, the sudden change in temperature and environment will cause the lizard to be put under too much stress and soon enough it'll flake away into the oblivion. maybe not the best example to use in terms of the end but the beginning is definitely on point.

[daceydeath]

Club 143

Pairing: 0T8 x Reader, Felix x Reader Word Count: 27.1K Genre: Work Romance, slow burn, Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, swearing, male escorts, hosting, alcohol, Explicit Activities

This is my offering of thanks for the 2K of you that have followed me and also kept me going over the past 12 months you guys are amazing and I love the absolute shit out of you all xx

It had been a hard 18 months in every single way, your boyfriend has cheated on you, your job was a never ending cycle of not quite making it and all your friends were either getting married or having babies. Something had to go your way, so this new editorial opportunity had to be the start of it all turning around for you.

You swiped left again, the dating app that your best friend had downloaded for you was full to the brim with fuck boys, dip shits and douche bags none of which interested you long enough to even read the stupid little bio they had written. You had been alone long enough to know you didn't want to waste the little time and effort you could give to someone to be wasted on someone who wouldn't even be able to give you what you wanted let alone what you needed. You had complained to your best friends often enough that one had bought you a vibrator and the other had installed this stupid app telling you to just get back out there and meet people but you were struggling. You didn't want a cheap fuck in an alley behind a club or a guy who couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag let alone find your clitoris taking you home. You wanted to feel good, it wasn't neurosurgery it shouldn't be that hard to find. You had tried dating a few times since your break up with your ex but to begin with it was hard to trust a man again and then you realized you perhaps didn't want to fall straight back into a relationship until it was too late and you had given all the better options the flick.

Sighing you got back to work figuring that it would keep you busy you had been in the news media for a while now and although you weren't a fully qualified journalist, you had never bothered with university, you had made your way up the food chain and were currently working in the health, wellness and well being section of your company. You were sent to cover makeup launches, yoga classes, newest beauty surgical day spas and other garbage but this week you had been given a different assignment. As one of the only women in the team who didn't get embarrassed at the sight of anything too 'exciting' you were being sent to the latest host club for professional women. A week's worth of sitting around trying to not get too drunk while you watched professional, lonely and probably far too wealthy women get flirted with by attractive young men. It had made you a little nervous but you had looked into everything you had been given and you were hoping that it would go smoothly. 

Club 143 was in midtown just across the district border from the wealthiest areas of the city. The home of idols, celebrities and the business elite, it was incredibly well located to cater to their every need and whim. The man who you had spoken to over the phone had seemed quite casual, he had introduced himself as Bang Chan and said he was the owner and operator, he also seemed quite happy to have you come for the week to see how the premises operated and ran. You were going for the following day Wednesday to meet him and see what the club had to offer then you would meet with the various hosts and finally if you wished to he would grant you the full host experience free of charge in exchange for the editorial you would write. Your phone ringing broke you out of organizing what you would need to know for preparation.

"Good evening" you answered, slightly distracted as you saved your research on Mr Bang.

"Have I called at a bad time?" Chan's voice sounded slightly concerned.

"No not at all Mr Bang, I was just preparing for tomorrow" you chirped wanting to sound professional and interested despite being nervous.

"Good, good. I was thinking if it isn't too early we could start at about 11? It will just be me and the bar and waiting staff to begin with so don't feel you need to be dressed up. The boys wouldn't arrive until after 7 anyway so if you need to run home or to the office you have plenty of time" He explained to you gently.

"Oh excellent, that will hopefully give me time to interview you about the first half or so of the editorial on the beginnings and such" you nodded your head even though he couldn't see you.

"I'll see you tomorrow then" He said warmly, his voice having an effect of soothing you each time you heard it.

"See you tomorrow Mr Bang" you hung up feeling a little less worried but still unsure of how this assignment would go.

Arriving at 10:55 you stood looking at the fairly standard looking five story glass building, the only thing making it look slightly different from its surroundings was a total lack of signage except for a small black and sign with elegant gold script reading Club 143 next to the large front doors.

"Good morning Miss" a calm professional voice spoke, making you almost jump "You are here to meet with Mr Bang correct?". 

"Um yes, yes I am, I'm from the editorial team at JYP News" you smiled introducing yourself and following her inside.

"I'm just one of the wait staff Miss, Mr Bang asked us to keep an eye out for you and bring you to his office once you arrived" she explained leading you through the opulent looking bar with its high ceiling and huge chandelier to a door reading staff which she opened for you and gestured for you to enter and take a seat "He won't be long Miss" 

Nodding as she left you alone to wait you looked at the waiting area you had been led to, soft wingback armchairs in warm chocolate tones filled the space, gold accented furniture and a wooden floor seemed excessive for a staff area but you assumed you needed to present the lavish luxury everywhere just in case.

"Miss Kim?" His deep velvety voice asked, making your eyes snap to him "I'm Bang Chan, but please call me Chan" . His warm smile and adorable dimples were a stark contrast from his built physique and generally sexy appearance.

"Hello, if I am going to call you by your first name then please call me by mine" you swallowed hard shaking his hand as you greeted him.

"Good, I prefer to keep things as casual as possible, it can get too pretentious otherwise" He explained cheekily taking you into his office which was far more minimalist than the ostentatious club. "This is my office, we have seen the boys waiting room and you walked through the bar, would you like the tour first or to chat?"

"How about the tour first then we can start the start of the interview process" you smiled politely placing your bag on the floor beside his desk.

"Alright then" he clapped as you followed him back out to the bar to begin "This is the main bar this is where anyone can come to have a drink or enjoy themselves without interruptions, this bar isn't limited to women but we do anticipate that most of the clientele will be female due to the other services we provide"

"So this is not host related at all then just a regular bar?" you asked looking at the beautiful furnishings and row upon row of alcohol bottles that lined the mirrored walls behind the bar.

"Yes the first 2 levels are just a speakeasy come cocktail bar level 3 is where that changes although any available host will be down here in hopes of attracting clients" he waggled his eyebrows at you while he guided you to the large staircase which you climbed after he had offered his arm to you looking over the large cut out that had been made to house the gigantic chandelier.

"It does look beautiful" you murmur your fingers sliding against the fabric of the leather couches as you continue to the far end of the room towards the elevator that stood with its glimmering golden doors set against a black marble wall "Although very opulent".

"Opulence is not your taste then?" Chan queried interested in your opinion as the elevator doors opened and you stepped in together.

"Not to this level, I like a little bit of glitz every now and again but I'm more of a homebody" you felt your face heat up as you spoke not wanting to insult his business before you had even had a proper conversation with him.

"That's fair, I'm not into this lifestyle either, it is excessive" he chuckled. "But the women who are will pay for this experience without a second thought".

"Clever Chan, you know your target audience well" you tried not to smirk as you watched him stuff his hands into the pockets of his black chinos as you traveled up to the next floor through the mirrors all around you.

"This is level 3 and the first level of the host experience, women of all ages can come here and be doted on by male hosts who will drink with them, eat with them and basically fawn over them providing all the attention they desire" Chan continued to explain as your eyes roamed the deep red painted booths that could be hidden behind matching deep red velvet curtains. Before returning to the elevator to go up again into another room full of more private booths that were set further apart to elude more privacy.

"Level 4 is the next level of our host services, so the private bookings or most popular hosts will normally be here. They see people one on one for extended periods of time" Chan continued as you took in another over the top room only this time in deep emerald greens with gold accents.

"Ok so most popular? Does that mean the most requested? So the hosts on the lower level are more of a on demand and availability sort of set up?" You asked making a note in your phone to include the differences when you started writing.

"Yes, the ones that are requested the most or have customers wanting to request them on a regular basis. Yes they will be on this floor" he smiled as you took a few notes and asked things you weren't sure of.

"Is this the last level?" You asked, thinking back to when you had looked into the building as part of your research "I thought this was a five story building" you tilted your head to him.

"You are right there is one more level which I'll give you a tour of only one part since it needs to remain an enigma to out clients" he smirked like a cat who had gotten the cream as you stepped into the lift once again the last floor could only be accessed by key card as Chan swiped his allowing for the floor to be selected.

"Oh, is it really a secret then?" you sassed playfully as the lift climbed to the final floor, the lift opened revealing a single hallway that led to a set of 10 doors the entire hallway painted deep navy blue with only the golden door handles and numbers glinting like stars against the dark walls.

"This is level 5, the premium service, and the most expensive and exclusive part of Club 143" Chan grinned, leading you out of the elevator with his hand resting against your lower back "Pick a door any door and that will be the final part of the tour". You walked down the hallway and stopped before door three looking back at Chan with your eyebrow cocked"

"Door 3 please Chan" you smiled.

"Are you sure you won't get to see inside the others, this is the only one you will see?" He teased walking to the door and swiping his card and opening the handle slowly as you nodded up at him.

"Woah" you muttered as you stepped into what could be a million dollar penthouse, with a lounge area, large bedroom and as you wandered a giant bathroom with a several person bathtub and shower that could fit at least four people.

"Level 5 is the full host experience, you are wined and dined in the comfort of a luxury home and there are no rules except for the ones made between the host and the client" he explained further as you turned back to him, your eyes wide at his obvious implications.

"I'm sorry level 5 is a brothel?" you almost squeaked as Chan doubled over in laughter.

"We provide a full service, but it doesn't have to include sex" Chan continued to chuckle "Some of our hosts are escorts some are not, some of the women who come to this floor will only be here to avoid being recognized on the lower floors some will be willing to part with a lot of money for a night with one of my boys".

"Sorry, that came out quite rudely didn't it?" you apologized flustered "I just wasn't expecting hosts and escorts".

"It's fine" he shrugged, still trying to stop his laughter "Come back downstairs and we can chat about it all in my office and grab some lunch, I've told the kitchens that anything on the menu you order is on the house".

"You don't have to put up with me poking around all week and feed me" you retorted knowing how much this was potentially going to put him out of pocket.

"If you are here and you are working then I should feed you, it's the only way for you to have a fully immersive experience after all" he shrugged as you got out of the lift on the ground floor and followed him back to his office.

You had spoken with Chan about everything you could think of, why he started the club, where the idea had come from and how he selected the hosts you had moved into the waiting room that he had called the boys waiting room setting up your laptop and starting with the opening parts of your editorial as well as typing up your notes of all the things you would need for later a tasting plate of pasta that the chef had prepared for you sat mostly eaten beside the coffee you had asked one of the bar staff for. You felt strange being given anything you asked for so you had tried your hardest to only order a relatively inexpensive dish off the overly expensive menu so as not to appear greedy or that you were taking advantage of Chan's generous hospitality.

"Good afternoon beautiful" a soft pleasant voice interrupted your typing as you looked up slightly confused as two handsome men had walked into the waiting room.

"He means you sweetheart" the other smiled, his pretty smile and easy manner distracting from his hulkingly muscular frame.

"Hello" you answered quietly as Chan emerged from his office. 

"Minho, Changbin you're early and you have met our resident reporter I see" he rolled his eyes at them both.

"Resident reporter?" The taller one quirked his head furrowing his brows.

"Remember the editorial that is being written about our first week to help boost the popularity of the place Minho?" Chan sighed slightly exasperated.

"Oh yeah shit that's right" he smirked "Sorry" he turned to you again looking smug rather than sorry as you blinked again and went back to your article taking a sip of coffee.

"Get in the office will you we have stuff to talk about" Chan groaned as the other two plodded into the office after him and you took that as your cue to finish up and go home to change for the evening so that you at least looked the part of someone who should be in attendance at a fancy arsed party. You had borrowed a few dresses from a colleague that you had spoken to about the assignment, she had suggested you stick to darker and more modest dresses that would help you blend into the background so that you didn't draw unwanted attention. Needless to say the black square necked mid length dress made you feel like no one would notice you compared to the socialites that were expected to be in attendance.

When you returned to Club 143 the doorman ushered you straight in and you were met by a well dressed man who welcomed you and took you back to the waiting room you had been in for half of your day.

"Mr Bang, your guest has returned" he knocked and ushered you in leaving you quite surprised at the room now full of preposterously handsome men.

"Um hello, guests aren't meant to be back here sweetheart" One of them smiled his eyes friendly as he moved to take you into the still empty bar.

"There you are! you disappeared I wondered which one of the boys had stolen you away" Chan teased.

"Well I didn't think I would fit in that well in a work suit so sorry about that" you sassed straight back feeling distinctly more comfortable after floating around him for so long during the course of the day.

"Miss reporter you came back" one of the guys from earlier grinned.

"Reporter?" A very young looking man asked, his fine facial features making him look distinctly fox like.

"This is the reporter who will be doing the editorial on the club to, hopefully, increase our business. She's here for the whole week so be nice to her. She isn't a client so don't treat her like one" Chan announced.

"This is Minho and Changbin who you saw earlier today" he gestured to the two guys furthest away, "this is Han, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Felix". You followed Chan hand as he introduced each one, smiling until you met his eyes. He was so beautiful he almost took your breath away but you tore your eyes back to look at Chan as he introduced you to them.

"I figured tonight you can wander at will observing whatever interests you and then tomorrow you can talk to the guys about whatever you need for the article" he continued.

"Sure that sounds good, give me a chance to see the rest of the staff in action as well" you smiled politely hoping to seem professional.

"We do have more hosts obviously, but they are either getting changed or not here yet" he added, looking at you as you quirked your eyebrow at him.

"How many are there in total?" you tilted your head pulling your phone from your tiny purse to take more notes.

"There are thirty hosts in total and these seven are the ones I expect to be the... most popular ones" Chan smirked.

"Oh the host for upstairs, the hosts that are actually escorts but you're calling them hosts, those hosts? Right" you rolled your eyes sounding sarcastic as you entered a few short notes looking back up at him to see a shit eating grin on his face.

"You catch on quick" he winked.

"You are an impossible flirt Mr Bang" you pursed your lips to cover your chuckle.

"Hey what did I say about the Mr Bang thing?" he almost yelped.

"Not to use it" you met his eyes cheekily "So naturally that will be what I call you". 

Your eyes flicked back across the others, taking in the amused expressions before you put on your best professional face and turned back to the door, opening it and walking though to cut off whatever comeback he was preparing for you.

"If you need me Mr Bang I'll be at the bar, need to review your bar staff too you know" you called as you walked towards the large bar where three barmen were waiting.

Once the music started and the doors opened to the many beautiful and well dressed women who wanted to see what a building full of ridiculously handsome men could offer them. You watched as each of the impeccably dressed hosts were either assigned or accosted by the women filling the bar you watched on seeing socialites you recognized, CEO’'s and directors of well known businesses and politicians wives all ogling the men you had met earlier and the many that you hadn't as they flitted through the crowd with ease. Chan was busy entertaining a group of women who all had glasses of champagne in their hands, Minho seemed to be captivating his audience of four young women who had bee lined for him and an a tall man you hadn't met was keeping another group of women enthralled by some story he was weaving for them.

"All alone tonight Miss R?" A sexily deep voice asked from you left making you jump slightly as you turned to face him as he slipped the stem of a glass of champagne between your fingers.

"Oh no I'm just observing tonight" you answered slightly flustered by how smooth his actions had been until you actually looked at him, tall, blond and handsome in an expensive tailored looking suit.

"I'm Felix" he smiled dazzlingly, taking in what must have been a slightly shocked expression on your face "We met before but there were a lot of names for you to remember".

"Yes, yes we did" you smiled back feeling helpless to do anything else as his golden flecked brown eyes skimmed over your face "How is the night going so far for you?".

"I would say excellent but then I saw you alone and I thought you might want a little company for just a little while" His voice was like honey and you instantly realized that this must be why Chan knew he would be so popular with his clientele.

"That would be lovely Felix, but aren't you meant to be working?" you sipped the champagne to cover the flush that was creeping up your neck as he moved a few strands of your hair behind your eyes.

"I am working" he teased "I am working on giving you a good view of how this works although this is more enjoyable to me than politicians wives or silly socialites".

"I can't tell if you are actually telling me the truth or that you are a professional when it comes to flirting" you admitted almost too quietly to hear over the music and noise.

"Truth not flirting" he smiled crookedly "Flirting is hardly going to work on you since you know what happens here".

"Well thank you for the honesty" you conceded while taking another sip of the wine.

"It's not entirely selfless but it thought I could show you around a bit let you see how upstairs is looking" he suggested offering you his arm like a gentleman "after all showing you around does give me at least something enjoyable to do that also gets me away from some of the women old enough to be my mother" he joked.

"I would really like that, it seems less like spying if I am next to you" you grinned taking the offered arm before Felix escorted you to the elevator, you noticed the looks some of the women threw at you and started to fell a little self conscious of the sheer lack of wealth and importance you looked as you passed them.

"Ignore them" Felix whispered, placing his other hand on top of the one you were holding his arm with. "They are just jealous of how beautiful you look tonight compared to them".

"I agree that they are jealous but it's not for how I look it's because I'm with you Felix" you whispered back making him smile genuinely at you. "So level 3 then?"

"We can start there and see where it takes us" Felix smirked naughtily as though he was intentionally breaking a rule, gently guiding you into the elevator along with another host you hadn't seen before who had a giggly young woman clutching his arm Felix tiled his body to hide you from the other woman his warm chest brushing against your arm.

Stepping from the lift the hosted area looked almost as full as the bar downstairs, each of the booths were either occupied or had velvet ropes preventing the area being used until a host was available to fill it. Felix took your hand from his arm and instead guided you with his arm delicately draped around your waist, your skin heating up where he made contact with your dress. He helped you onto one of the bar stools slipping onto his own beside you and catching the attention of one of the bartenders.

"What is your drink of choice?" he asked casually, still looking toward the bartender.

"Oh I'm working, I shouldn't be drinking" you replied softly.

"Well how about a non alcoholic drink?" he shot you a seductive smirk as you blinked at him.

"Um" you thought for a moment.

"Can I get two specialty martinis please" Felix ordered before turning back to you and winking "if you say specialty at any of these bars they will serve you a non alcoholic drink that looks like one so no one is the wiser".

"Any other tips you can share with me?" you smiled gracefully as the bartender placed the two drinks in front of you making Felix lean into your ear as though he was spilling secrets.

"Don't take Chan as just the owner, he is one of us too" he whispered "and to be honest half the escort boys you met would have knocked me out if they knew I was going to monopolize your attention for so long". His breath grazed your neck as he spoke, making you shiver hoping that he wouldn't notice the effect he was having on you and the struggle to remain as professional as possible that you were currently battling inside your head.

"How often this week do you think you will be on this floor then Felix?" you whispered back hoping to keep the purely professional status between you since your mind was screaming at you that he was too good to be true.

"This is probably going to be the only time to be honest with you" he moved to tuck your hair behind your ear once again, before taking your elbow to guide you back across to the elevator "I have a feeling I will be booked fairly solidly from here on out, shall we see the next floor?"

Stepping into the elevator again Felix draped his arm once again around your waist pulling you closer to his side, completely distracting you from the doors closing or opening again, before leading you from the elevator to a private booth at the far end of the room and sliding you in and following in after you.

"So tell me, why did you take this assignment?" he tilted his head looking only into your eyes as he spoke, capturing you entirely from what you had been planning on observing around the room.

"Truthfully, I was hoping I could make a good impression on my bosses and get more interesting work" you admitted "I'm a little tired of the ten ways to look younger, or how to land a wealthy boyfriend articles I usually get".

"Hmm, I can understand that" he sipped his drink casually. "You don't seem the type to work in the whole lifestyle media world to be honest with you, you seem more serious".

"I wouldn't have taken you for an escort either, a rich boy maybe or even a host but still here we are" you fired back teasingly.

"Well right now I'm not any of those things" he smirked, eyes twinkling in the low mood lighting of the room.

"Oh I'm pretty sure you're still a rich boy, judging by how tailored that designer suit is" you giggled playfully, enjoying how he was making you feel much more comfortable than you had anticipated.

"Fair I am still that, but I'm not treating you like I would if you were one of my guests, I thought you might get a bit sick of me if it was all just smoke and mirrors" The honesty of his words made you feel somewhat pleased that you were seeing a more realistic version of Felix even if it wasn't the same as if you had met him anywhere else on any other day.

"Right this is where you're hiding huh?" Chan's voice floated over you both bursting the bubble that you were currently in.

"I'm just showing Miss R what a host experience would entail Chan" Felix grinned cheekily.

"Well you have a booking so off you trot I'll find someone else to entertain our fly on the wall guest" Chan chuckled as Felix got out of the booth missing the look he shot you before he left to find his guest, he looked almost a little disappointed to be leaving you which made butterflies burst out in your stomach.

"Would you like me to find someone to look after you?" Chan's voice had you turning back to him blinking.

"Oh no, it's opening night, you need them for your guests, I'll just wander and keep to myself if that is easier" you said hurriedly not wanting to cause him any issues.

"That's fine too. I have a keycard for you so you can go to any of the floors you want, except the top, don't want you walking into something you shouldn't" he winked sneakily pressing the card into your hand before heading back to your assumed work.

You slipped from the booth taking the final sip of your drink and heading towards the elevator deciding that you should probably make your way back down to the bar to observe the party and not just spend the rest of the evening hoping to catch a glimpse of Felix again. Stepping into the party atmosphere of the upper bar you walked towards the bar slipping around groups of women and wait staff who looked like they had been training for how busy it was going to be for weeks in advance. Different handsome men caught your attention as you looked about, all were almost unbelievably attractive but no two looked that much alike they all had their own uniqueness which you suppose was how they made their money catering to the exact fantasy of the guest they were entertaining. As you made your way closer to the bar you were intercepted by a man you hadn't met before.

"Good evening, beautiful, what brings you here alone?" His smooth voice washed over you "May I keep you company?".

"Hello and of course you can but you will be wasting your time on me" you apologized quickly.

"I would very much doubt that" you smiled softly, his pretty eyes and angelic face making you feel a little flustered "I'm Yunho" he introduced himself taking your hand to press a chaste kiss to your knuckles.

"Pleasure to meet you Yunho" you stammered as he guided you to a seat at the bar "I'm the reporter that is writing the editorial on the place".

"Oh you're Miss R!" his eyes lit up as he waved down one of the staff at the bar "Some of the others were talking about you, said you were very pretty and had been swept off her feet by Felix. I'll admit I'm pleased that only one of those is true".

"I can tell you're a host but what kind of host are you?" you licked your lips trying to keep your composure at his flirting.

"Ah Chan already mentioned there are differences, no wonder he's hopeless with telling too much to pretty girls" he laughed "But I am just a host, I'm not in the same league as Felix, Chan or Hyunjin".

"Now you know I'm not a paying guest, do you still want to sit here with me?" you questioned not just because you wanted to ask him everything you could think of about his job but also because you didn't want to make him feel obligated if there was money to be made elsewhere.

"I would rather talk with you about whatever you wish to know than pretend to be interested in empty headed socialites" he whispered coyly his lips coming closer to your ear "Although maybe we should move to our own little corner rather than the bar?"

"What did you have in mind, Yunho? you're the one with experience here" you whispered back conspiratorially a small smile tugged on the corners of his lips.

"Follow me Miss R, I'll show you all the ins and outs" you waggled his eyebrows playfully at you before picking up two tall glasses that looked like gin and tonics. Yunho nestled you right into the front corner of the upper level which gave you access to watch the whole floor and a good section of the lower floor placing your glass in front of you he sat closely beside you.

"What drew you to this job?" you quipped as soon as he was seated.

"Well I fell into it actually, I met a few of the other guys Yeosang, Wooyong and Mingi they said I should give it a go. I already knew I had pretty good looks so why not use them to make some money right?" He explained animatedly "So after I worked at a few different host places where I was just part time I met Chan, he had given the others a job and he gave me one too".

"That is such a random set of circumstances" you laughed.

"Well the other three work here with me, we’re here 5 nights a week and make more then we would working a normal job with way less hours" he shrugged easily his smile infectious as he looked at you softly "I meet interesting people, I get paid to flirt and be charming it is the easiest job in the world the only downside is that I haven't told my family and getting a girlfriend is hard" you nodded empathizing with him, you hadn't thought about it but you would probably have to leave all last names out of the article to make sure that a level on anonymity was maintained. You couldn't out people for their jobs to their family after all that was unethical.

"So the hours are good and the job isn't too hard? Sounds like a dream really" you said wistfully thinking of how much over time you were going to need to work to type up the part of the article to do with the opening.

"It's not all roses, some of the people we have to entertain treat us like shit, we are paid to give them attention, flatter them, make them feel special but they treat us like we are nothing more than an object half the time. Or worse we get some who not only eat up every word we say but believe it so they become obsessed and come in all the time." he continued shrugging as though it was normal to have admirers fighting for your attention.

"What happens in the case of them becoming obsessed?" you asked genuinely concerned.

"Well as long as they can afford to pay for our time then we keep seeing them, you do feel bad for them they think we are in love with them and we are actually saying the same to the next woman we see. Once they can't afford our time they can come in the building anymore" his answers were still far too casual for what he was talking about in your opinion.

"They are just barred?" you almost splutter.

"Well not barred permanently they can come back when they can afford to but that is why Chan decided to make a much more elite version of the standard club. The more money you have the more you can spend but the more likely you will draw a scandal if you become too invested in any one host" he clarified not looking at you directly but leaning in to you as he spoke so he could keep his voice quiet. He seemed to be watching the room far closer than you which made you sit back from him and continue to scan the crowd and how smoothly things were coming together.

You couldn't help notice the moment Chan walked back into your eye line speaking to another quite tall and attractive man who he sent toward a man who had been standing at the bottom of the stairs monitoring the room the whole time you had been in a place you could see him. You hadn't been introduced but you assumed he was the majordomo in Chan's stead while they were all working, he seemed to direct just about every host that was on the lower floors and he sent this tall handsome one up the stairs towards you.

"Good evening Miss R" he smiled almost sinfully "I'm San and I deeply apologize but I need to steal Yunho here away".

"Oh of course, I don't want to interrupt your work" your eyes widened slightly thinking you had gotten Yunho in trouble "I didn't mean to take so much of his time".

"Don't worry Miss R" Yunho grinned roguishly "I think someone else wants to monopolize your time" he stood following San across the floor to a group of women who were probably in the later part of their thirties to make a good impression and hopefully some business.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself," Chan noted, offering you his hand so you could stand.

"This is a lovely bar regardless of the other things you have going on here" you conceded watching him look proud from a moment.

"Would you like to have a little more in depth look around?" He offered chuckling at how you seemed to be taking in as many details as possible.  

"How much more in depth?" you tilted your head at him for a moment making him chuckle before he led you to the elevator. 

"Were going up to the level 4 I have a space that I haven't been able to fill that I think you might be perfect for" Chan almost purred as he spoke to you making your body react in a way you hadn't expected, you shivered and your breathing increased at the prospect of what he meant.

"I'm confused Chan" you said slowly as he gently guided you towards a booth that was unoccupied.

"Well the fourth floor has a booth that hasn't been filled and a host that hasn't been assigned so I was hoping you would do me a favor and fill that gap for the time being" he revealed helping you on to the plush velvet couch that made up the majority of the space. Most of the curtains around you were drawn partially or completely, you could see the occasional glimpse of the host that was working but not the guest. The booth to your right hand side Changbin lounging legs half spread as he lent toward whoever he was entertaining to your left you saw a flash of blonde hair and a tailored suit and knew instantly it was Felix.

"I can do that for you, it would be my pleasure" you bit your bottom lip a little to cover the nerves you were feeling but you did feel like you owed Chan to help him if he needed a favor in return for the unlimited access he was giving you.

"Excellent, I will let him know you are here" He grinned walking behind you to the bar. You didn't want to get caught looking around too much but you couldn't help your curiosity, looking at the other booths you could see occasional comings and goings of the wait staff bringing drinks or bottles of wine but nothing too interesting until you sat further into the cushions and looked to your left noticing Felix's looking at you with a almost annoyed expression but his eyes darted away quickly.

"Hello, we met earlier" a slightly husky voice took your attention away from Felix and to yet another handsome man, this one tall and lean with beautiful features and the prettiest lips you thought you had ever seen on anyone ever. "I'm Hyunjin".

"Hello Hyunjin, I do remember" you swallowed feeling shy to be under such an intense gaze, he moved to draw the curtains across both the left and right of you to keep you from any other person's gaze but not before snorting softly as he pulled the left side across. Sitting beside you he pushed a small button on the coffee table in front of you and made himself comfortable.

"I realize this might be slightly strange for you but I will try to make this as genuine as I can without too much theatrics" He chuckled honestly making you feel a little more at ease.

"How is it that a host such as yourself is not fully booked?" you asked tentatively not wanting to start off on the wrong foot.

"Well my guest was unable to choose between myself and another host so she flipped a coin and I was suddenly no longer booked" he smirked as you furrowed your brow at him. "We will see guests in pairs or sometimes even groups but if they want a more one-on-one experience we usually prefer to work solo, unless of course the price is right".

"One on one? you don't, mean down here do you?" you asked, picking up and sipping the glass of wine that had appeared on the table for you brought by a very discrete member of the staff.

"Perceptive of you" he chuckled and smiled fondly at you "Yes one on one upstairs".

"Well you guys have to pay your rent too" you shrugged looking up at him "So what is a night with a host actually like? Is it all flirting and playing a role for you?"

"Its both those things but much more, I won't bother with the smoke and mirrors Felix said you can see through that, but we make conversation, give you our full attention, give you the opportunity to unwind with a man you might not normally get to spend time with" Hyunjin clarified "We are paid to feign interest but I won't need to do that either because you Miss R are quite interesting already".

"Why have all of you started calling me that?" you almost giggle watching his eyes crinkle with amusement.

"Well you are a reporter, and we are not going to call you by your name in case someone recognizes you, you get the anonymity that the rest of us hosts do while you're here. But if you come back after we will all definitely use your name" Hyunjin teasingly laughed making you smile as his eyes turned into perfect little moons making him look younger.

"How did you fall into this life Hyunjin? Was it just that you are incredibly attractive?" you continued to smile as he looked almost surprised at the confidence with which you spoke as you swirled your drink.

"Incredibly attractive huh?" Hyunjin smirked, recovering quickly. "Probably the same way as the others you have spoken to did, I was in art school and pretty broke. I was thinking I could do life modeling for extra money but that isn't the best paid job. I overheard a classmate say she had gone to a host club with her friend and they weren't even as pretty as me and I thought I can do that so I did" he shrugged casually readjusting his position on the couch so he was closer to you.

"That is actually not too different from what Yunho told me" you agreed, finishing the glass of wine.

"Yunho? First you run off with Felix then Yunho, you are popular" Hyunjin joked moving to pour more wine into your glass.

"That's not what happened!" You almost squeaked "Felix showed me around and Yunho just sat with me for a little while at the bar in between his bookings". Hyunjin threw his head back laughing at your defense while you still looked scandalized.

"I was just teasing you Miss Reporter" he admitted smiling wide, his overly sexy demeanor dropping to show you a glimpse of the more everyday version of him as you continued to sip to hide your nerves and keep yourself grounded.

"I think I might have gotten Felix in trouble though" you admitted sheepishly "Chan didn't look too pleased I was taking up his time".

"Oh he wasn't displeased or even annoyed" Hyunjin interrupted you swiftly "Chan was thrilled Felix took an interest in you actually, it gave him the potential of a very favorable editorial and also Felix doesn't really have an interest in anyone who isn't part of our little circle".

"What do you mean by that, the not showing interest part?" you quizzed quickly feeling more forthright as the alcohol buzzed through your system.

"Felix is incredibly professional, he doesn't see women outside of the job, we were worried he was gay for a while and that we had been using him to attract the wrong clients. But he just doesn't take any interest because he doesn't want to get hurt, he knows nearly all women would not want to be with a man who make his money fucking other women" Hyunjin stated bluntly.

"Oh that's awful. Do you all feel like that?" You probed gently feeling sad for Felix and mad at yourself for not noticing that he was perhaps not happy.

"We all love our job, we are well paid, we get to spend time with beautiful women and we can work when we want. But it can be lonely in our world" his smile was wistful as he looked at you moving to tuck you hair behind your ear slowly pulling his hand away from you.

"Still, that sounds like it makes things harder for you" you sighed, meeting his eyes.

"Kind of you to say but we will only have this job for so long, then we will have the rest of our lives to find someone" Hyunjin leaned a little closer again but you didn't mind closer was good for sharing information that otherwise wouldn't be divulged.

"Still you're all so young to just give up on the idea that someone out there won't care for you regardless" you chastised playfully "You only have your youth once Hyunjin".

"Well consider me a changed man then" he giggled, taking your hand in his tracing his fingers in small circles across your wrist. "What about you then? Surely your boyfriend would have hated the idea of you spending a week here, job or not".

"I am very single so that was not an issue" you grinned starting to feel a little more than buzzed from the wine.

"I find it hard to believe someone as gorgeous as you is single" he smirked, his fingers still tracing patterns on your bare wrist and forearm.

"Funny Hyunjin" you rolled your eyes. "I have actually been single for a while, I don't seem to attract the right men".

"Again that seems unlikely but if you say so" he teased, topping your glass up again.

"I understand how you are so popular as a host now though" you smirked while you enjoyed his flirting and gentle touches you knew they weren't real.

"I'll let you in on a little secret then shall I?" Hyunjin whispered in a low voice sliding across the velvet surface until he was touching your thigh with his and his words could be breathed directly into your ear.

"Sure Hyunjin, tell me and see if I believe you" you whispered back sounding more confident than you were.

"Everything I have said has been true and I would very much like to take you upstairs" he whispered again pressing his lips to your earlobe.

"I'm sorry?" you spluttered, completely flustered by his words and the feeling of his lips on your skin.

"I. would. like. to. take. you. upstairs" he repeated slowly enunciating each word.

"I, um, why would you want that?" you stuttered feeling heat burning under your skin

"I think I could show you exactly how you should be treated, I think you would enjoy it and I very much would" he continued slipping his arm around your shoulders to hold you closer against him, the hand on your wrist now cupping your face.

"I don't think you mean that Hyunjin" you whispered breathily, your wide eyes trained on him.

"I think you will find that I do" he smiled sultrily before closing the space between you and softly pressing his lips to yours. It had been so long since you had been kissed you almost melted into him as his plump lips slid against yours but instead you pulled away slightly and Hyunjin dropped his hand from your face as he moved to press his forehead against yours.

"Hyunjin" you breathed your breath no doubt caressing his lips given how close he still was "You can't, we can't, I can't".  

"Because of your editorial or because you don't want to?" he smiled softly, not moving away from you.

"The editorial is most of it" you admitted trying to get your heart rate to calm "but I also don't want to be tipsy if I was to go upstairs with you or anyone else".

"You are very honest Miss R, which is almost fatally attractive" he whispered fondly, moving himself slightly further back from you to give you a little more room.

"I try to be" you blinked, still feeling a little dazed.

"How about we call this a night, I will make sure you get a driver to take you home and make sure you are safe" Hyunjin smiled ruefully.

"I am sorry Hyunjin, I don't mean it harshly I just don't want to be clouded by alcohol" you bit your lip feeling like you had hurt him.

"I'm not hurt by your decision Miss R, I respect that you wish to be sober that is not a flaw" He explained intertwining his fingers with yours "now let me make sure you get home safely"

"Thank you Hyunjin" you agreed following letting his lead you to the elevators but not before looking to see if you could catch another glimpse of Felix, the booth he had been in was empty now curtains pulled back and the table sparkling clean again making you feel something you couldn't identify as you looked around noticing the others were all still occupied and that the elevator was not coming down not up towards your floor.

"If you're looking for him he is on level 5 by now" Hyunjin whispered in your ear making your stomach drop slightly.

"Oh no I am just wondering what happens when the table becomes empty does Chan replace it with just regular hosts?" you tried to cover your obvious want to see Felix again.

"I don't actually know, you see all of the guests in here, beside you, will end up on level 5 with their host so what happens after we go upstairs isn't something I've ever bothered looking at" Hyunjin shrugged mischievously as he stepped into the elevator with you making your way down to the ground floor but instead of leaving through the main entrance he sneakily took you through the the staff door. 

"Hyunjin, where on earth are you taking me?" you chuckled, confusion lacing your voice as you noticed some of the other hosts you hadn't seen before looking at you surprised.

"I told you Miss R, I'm making sure you get home safely, we have drivers, I will send you home with one to make sure that happens" he shook his head at you sitting you in one of the chairs as he ventured through a door that led further into the building.

Hyunjin had put you in a black luxury sedan that drove you home and made sure you had entered your building before leaving to return to Club 143. Your head was full of too many thoughts and the fog of alcohol to actually bother writing anything down for the editorial you simply got into the shower, washed your face and climbed into bed hoping the morning light would bring clarity not just embarrassment for your behavior. Felix had flirted with you and had shown some sort of interest in you, but he looked annoyed at you later on, Hyunjin had kissed you and asked you to go to bed with him and Yunho had divulged some more sinister aspects of the job. The following part of the week was going to be intense, you could feel it but that was fine you would be able to handle it.

You were happily surprised that you had no headache or hangover when you woke up although you didn't think you had drunk enough to get hung over. It was much more of a little too tipsy, not full on drunk. You knew as you got dressed you would have to transfer your notes from the cloud to your laptop so that you could start the editorial about how beautiful a location it was and how fantastic the food, drinks and staff were, you could also start adding the sections that you needed to write about Chan as the owner/operator but you would need to speak to him about what he would and would not like to have added about his on host activities. It had been almost two in the morning by the time you got home so you knew that there was no way you could turn up before lunch, the staff would need time to recover all though surely there were dozens and dozens of them in order to be open everyday.

Concentrating you spent the first few hours of your morning writing and editing your drafts before ordering flowers for your colleague who had lent you the dress for the previous night. You would probably need to shop or at least rent something for the other nights rather than just wear her clothes the whole assignment. Besides, something inside you was telling you that looking a little bit more interesting than you did last night wouldn't be a bad thing, at least for the first weekend they were open. You were expecting to see more interesting things over the Friday to Sunday nights, more normal to the host world and less of a large opening gala type thing. Chan had previously stated that you were welcome to bring clothes with you to change into and anything else you might need for you to change into, to save you time and no doubt also to give him more time to sleep off the night before so shopping before you left for Club 143 should be easy for you.

Stepping into the large department store was something fairly foreign for you, you stuck to smaller and cheaper stores generally since you couldn't afford this level of expense everyday. The sales assistants were all impeccably dressed in black chic uniforms flitting between customers and looking far more put together than you ever did, for the most part they ignored you which gave you time to think about the level of investment these few dresses would be.

"Good morning Miss R" a deep honeyed voice spoke softly to you as you ran your fingers across the fabric of a beautiful dress that was way too expensive for you even to pretend to look at, making you look up slightly startled.

"Good Morning Felix" you smiled shyly looking up at him "I didn't think you would be out and about so early considering how busy you were when I last saw you".

"I needed to pick up my suits for the weekend" he explained his smile warming you "Although from what I was told you spent your time all over the party last night, even Hyunjin was lucky enough to spend time with you".

"True, not my doing though I was asked for a favor from Chris which was to fill the booth Hyunjin was working" you shrugged "He seems nice if not a little forward".

"Forward? Sounds about right" Felix laughed, the deep smooth sound attracting the attention of the attendants in the area "Did you have fun? Is that why you are shopping for new clothes?"

"I am but I have strayed off course I could never wear designers like these" you admitted as his brow crinkled slightly.

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't try them on, these clothes are only beautiful on someone not hanging on a rack" he smiled again dazzling you into nodding slightly.

"Excuse me miss? my girlfriend is looking for a few new outfits, could you assist?" Felix turned to the assistant waiting a few racks away smiling at her politely.

"Oh course sir" she nodded, batting her eyelashes at him as she made her way between the clothes  to you "What size would fit you, Miss?" she smiled.

"Oh I'm not sure" you bit your lip looking at the dress in front of you.

"I would suggest a medium sweetheart" Felix almost purred as the assistant nodded in agreement and found several items in your size ushering you and Felix towards the dressing room area.

"Felix" you quietly hissed, "I shouldn't be wasting her time like this and who said anything about girlfriends" knowing he heard you as he silently shook with laughter.

"It's not wasting her time if she had nothing to do anyway" he whispered back taking a seat on the large lounge suite that sat next to the full length mirrors as you were ushered behind gold colored curtains to change into the dress you had originally been looking at a black lace square necked dress that was lined with a skin toned underlay. You knew you were not going to buy any of these but Felix waiting for you to show him how you looked in it spurred you on. Getting yourself into the dress was easier said than done. The zip was small and awkward and you needed to wiggle yourself around but when you got there clearing your throat you popped your head around the curtain to see Felix smirking waiting for you.

"Well come out sweetheart let me see how it looks" he teased, somehow seeming to know he was flustering you again, taking a deep breath as you stepped out from behind the curtain.

"How does it look?" you asked softly your hands, smoothing the fabric nervously.

"Well you do look beautiful in it, but I think you would look gorgeous in something a little shorter or maybe tighter?" Felix mused tapping his chin as the assistant returned to agree with him as he sent her to find exactly that.

"Felix, didn't you have suits to collect?" you mumble as you were now left alone again.

"Yeah but this is much more fun" his eyes lit up as you looked at yourself wistfully "besides you will spend the whole night watching women who aren't as pretty as you get attention for men who would be rather talking to you as you take notes for an editorial that might change your career, live a little".

"You are a terrible influence on me" you laughed disappearing behind the curtain to get the zipper back down as the girl returned with a rack of things for you to try.

"I have several different styles and a mix of black and color so you can find exactly what you think would be right" she chirped, sliding behind the curtain to show you the rack which was filled with ridiculously expensive and gorgeous dresses. Leaving you to change she left the room allowing you to slip into a black mini dress with hot pink lining, the pink was going to be visible every time you took a step but you liked it, you were just nervous that Felix might not, which logically made no sense to you as you were not buying any of these dresses and you weren't trying to impress Felix, but you still took a deep breath before stepping out.

"Now that one looks amazing" Felix whistled playfully looking you up and down.

"You don't need to pretend she isn't here anymore" you sassed rolling your eyes.

"I'm not lying, you look incredible Miss R" he sighed, his eyes finding yours and looking almost innocent "try the others" he encouraged. After trying on every single dress your favorite was the black and pink satin mini, a black long sleeved mini that was studded with crystals and a one shoulder red and black mini. Felix had said that he liked all of them but those three got the best reactions from him.

"What were your favorites?" He asked sweetly as you reemerged in your own clothes.

"The black and pink and the black with crystals" you smiled as he gestured towards the door.

"They were my favorites too" he whispered temptingly in your ear.

"Shame that is the only time I'll get to wear something like that" you sighed as the assistant returned to the shop floor with the rack.

"Did you want to get a coffee with me Miss R? I have another 45 minutes before my suits will be ready.

"I would like that" you stuttered, heat rushing up your throat and into your cheeks.

Sitting with Felix in the open was very different than sitting with Felix in a Club 143, firstly the looks and stares he attracted were constant and second he was much less of a smooth operator when he wasn't on the clock. Ordering you both coffee, at his insistence, and coming back with cake was somehow unsurprising even though you barely knew him, you still thanked him and took the chocolate cake with a happy smile making him almost grin at your reaction.

"You look like you like sweet things" he spoke softly as he sat opposite you at the little table in the back of the cafe.

"I do like sweet things, guess you busted me" you chuckled taking your first bite and just about moaning at how good it tasted.

"I'll let you in on a secret" he winked exaggeratedly "me too".

"So is this your life when you aren't hosting?" you asked genuinely as your coffee was being brought over to you.

"Sort of, I do all the normal things during the hours most people work and often a bunch of us hang out or work out together" he shrugged while sipping his coffee.

"So just the reverse of everyone else" you nodded "That must make meeting people hard".

"It would be if I actually wanted to, but I don't think a lot of women are that understanding of my job" he replied easily like it wasn't a big deal.

"Yeah I get that I guess a lot of women wouldn't see that it's all just smoke and mirrors, it's an experience that you tailor to your customers needs it isn't real". You conceded sipping your drink and not noticing the look Felix was giving you as you continued eating.

"You said you were single too though, didn't you?" Felix recovered quickly "Is that because of your job or because you aren't looking?".

"Bit of both really, my job means I have to be flexible to go to any event I get sent to regardless of what else I had planned" you smiled "guys often don't like it if they aren't your main priority".

"That's shitty of them then" Felix scoffed, making you laugh, it was so easy talking to him he was much more relaxed even though he still looked like he should be on a runway with his perfectly tousled hair and designer look.

"I think your suits would be ready by now, it's been an hour Felix" you said finishing your coffee "I shouldn't take up anymore of your free time since you don't have that much of it".

"Nah, you can take up as much as you like but you still have dress shopping to finish, so will I see you tonight then?" He agreed, offering you his hand to help you to stand.

"Of course I will be in tonight and each night this week" you smiled as he walked you back towards the place you needed to be "See you tonight Felix" you waved before walking towards the escalator to find clothes you could actually afford to buy.

The rest of the day had been dull you had bought a tighter than normal floor length emerald green dress and a black mini dress in a satin fabric that reminded you of the mini that Felix had said he liked so buy the time you were packed up and ready to head to Club 143 to start your evening you weren't feeling nervous about having to meet so many different hosts to get a feel for how they liked working for Chan or how they became hosts in the first place because it felt like, in Felix, you had at least a friend on your side hoping for you to succeed. You had not bothered to dress in your work suit since you would be changing into more appropriate club attire before the night actually started so when you arrived in jeans and a sweater you were not expecting the almost same response as you had gotten the night before when you were far more dressed up.

"Looking good Miss R" Yunho called as you walked through the staff door with a large bag in tow.

"Hello Yunho, did you have an eventful night?" you called back knocking on Chan's door before wandering in when you got no answer and depositing your things in the corner he had said you could use.

"Yeah the only fun part was talking to you" he told you with a slightly flirtatious tinge in his voice.

"I'm sure" you chuckled as Chan appeared through the staff door from the bar.

"Ah good you're back, I was hoping last night didn't frighten you off" he teased dimples flashing as his own joke.

"Hyunjin tried his hardest but he couldn't chase me off. Sorry" you shrugged.

"Ooh immune to Hyunjin, you will be hard to win over" he scratched his chin in jest "but you met some of my hosts last night and tonight you will probably get to meet a few more but I have found a handful you haven't met yet if you wanted to talk to them about this place".

"That would be brilliant Chan, thank you" You smiled genuinely.

"I figured you can speak to our regular hosts as they float around before they start and if you wanted to join me for dinner I thought you might want to speak to Seungmin and Changbin" Chan continued please with your reactions.

"That sounds perfect. Who are the hosts for me to catch before they start?" you asked, remembering that Chan said he had thirty odd hosts who worked for him.

"I have asked San and Hongjoong to hang out with you on and off while everyone gets ready" he explained "I assume since there are bags in my office you will be getting ready here?"

"Yeah I figured I can get ready after the night has started so I don't take up too much space" you smiled.

"So like yesterday, make yourself at home and use whatever you need. I'm thinking of a slightly early dinner so I will come grab you if you like for that" Chan continued watching you closely.

"Oh that would be great if it isn't too much trouble for you I might get lost in what I'm writing otherwise" you agreed easily.

"Well I will leave you to your work then I'll send whichever of the boys is free and ready first your way" he grinned as you went to sit at one of the tables that littered the room getting out your laptop to start your work and figuring a coffee wouldn't go astray either at that point in the afternoon. You had been sipping your iced latte and going through photographers that you could get in to get the best shots of the club for your article. You hadn't even noticed the two suited up men making their way towards you.

"Miss R" the first one interrupted, breaking your concentration "Is now a good time for us to talk or would you like us to come back later?".

"Oh no, now is good" you blinked up at them as they took seats opposite you.

"I'm Hongjoong, and this is San" he continued smiling at you casually.

"Nice to meet you both" you greeted, remembering that San was the one that had collected Yunho the night before "Thank you for speaking with me" trying to not look like you had been totally floored by their good looks.

"Did you want to talk to us about why we started hosting?" San asked leisurely, leaning back on his chair.

"Yes but also about working for Chan and how you entertain your guests. It's a good way to sell your particular skills since you all seem to do things slightly differently" you explained.

"We can do that for you Miss R" Hongjoong grinned as you opened your notes and started listening to them. Both were very sweet so it was easy for you to get lost in the conversation until Chan reappeared at the table suited up and looking stupidly handsome.

"We are having dinner in a few. Did you still want to join us?" He grinned looking at how your eyes widened and you realized the time.

"Oh yes, yes I will change after if that is alright" you nodded, collecting your belongings together and thanking both the hosts for taking the time to talk to you. You followed Chan towards the elevator which took you both up to the fourth floor which was confusing to you.

"We are going to use this area tonight to give you a bit more time to chat since this area isn't open until after the bar" Chan explained, picking up on your train of thought instantly.

"How is it that you guys do that? Pick up what someone is thinking or feeling?" you narrowed your eyes at him in faux suspicion.

"We make our living on exploiting what women want, we wouldn't be very good at our jobs if we couldn't read you well" Seungmin sniggered as Chan pulled out a seat for you to sit in.

"That's very honest of you" you chuckled looking at him across the table.

"I'm Seungmin in case you haven't heard enough names over the past 24 hours" he smirked.

"Thank you for the reminder Seungmin, it isn't easy to talk to a dozen ridiculously handsome men without the added burden of remembering their names" you smiled dryly making Changbin laugh.

"He's just poking fun because he thinks he can" Chan sighed, giving Seungmin a look that you didn't quite understand.

"You can poke as much fun as you like Seungmin, I am after all just an interloper into your world" you continued smiling but pulled your face into the professional expression you used for work.

"I like you, you're way more fun than we expected" Changbin grinned casually as food started to arrive at the table.

"I took the liberty of ordering things you hadn't tried yet" Chan explained as you curled your brow at the plates in front of you, knowing that somehow he was responsible for it.

"So how does this all come together? Did you know each other before this? How do you make the jump from maybe I'll host to I'll escort on the side to, I'll open/work at an elite level like this?" You mused looking between them for clues to how this all worked because you had an inkling that at least the 8 core of elite hosts were closer and more equal than it first appeared.

"Well I told you how we came to open already but I'm assuming you want how we specifically found ourselves here?" Chan smirked already seeing that you had put more pieces together than he had supplied information for. You nodded as you put the first mouthful of souffle into your mouth before you paused savoring how good it was. 

"Well I met Chan years ago" Changbin started putting his fork down as he watched you eat a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips "We have been friends for years it was him that got me into hosting to begin with we were far younger then but it wasn't all that different except that working for other people meant a smaller cut of what you got paid but it was easy money while we were in uni".

"I met them later when I got a job as bar staff, not as a host at the same club. Jeongin was the same, we both became hosts at a different club later but we kept in touch" Seungmin added before taking another mouthful of pasta.

"So when and why did it jump from hosting to escorting?" you questioned letting Chan carve the large steak that was on the table and serve you a few slices.

"Why is easy, that was because the money was fantastic and being young and horny with easy access to women every night why not" Changbin laughed "The when was, I think just before my 21st birthday I had been hosting since I was 19 so I already learned all the skills I needed to flatter my way into that situation so why not get paid for it".

"Practical" you quipped sipping the wine that had been delivered to you "I mean why not get paid for what you like doing". All three of them laughed then as you didn't pass any judgment on them for their choices.

"This would be why everyone you have talked to so far is so enamored with you" Seungmin smirked, making your eyes widen in confusion.

"Excuse me?" you spluttered completely caught off guard.

"I agree doesn't judge openly and is oblivious to how she is seen by others" Changbin added as though it was an afterthought.

"I would respectfully call bullshit on that observation" you grumbled as your phone began ringing and your boss' name and number flashed across the screen "excuse me, my boss" you smiled. They nodded watching your change in demeanor as you answered the call mouthing thank yous to Chan.

"Good Evening Sir" you chirped, faking your enthusiasm to speak to him as you made your way across the room to the lift so you could slink out the back and get yourself ready.

"Your request for a photographer who can take artful photos is for what reason?" He gruffly demanded without greeting you.

"Well the bar is particularly attractive and last night alone I saw politicians wives, and half a dozen socialites if we can capture how beautiful and opulent it is we might be able to swing some fashion comments from them to boost out fashion pages and the male hosts here are very attractive the readers would very much like to have decent photos of them" you explained quickly trying to spin as much of a positive for him as you could even though you were wanting to move past him and to the editorials boss.

"If you can't take the photo's yourself then you can't expect us not to take the photographer fee from your paycheck" He continued telling you off subtly.

"Of course sir, I will do that instead sir" you swallowed as he hung up on you hoping that he would not be calling back with another complaint once you submitted the first draft of the editorial in a few days time. 

Stepping into Chan's office you locked the door and quickly slipped into the dress you had brought with you, after last night you had decided that you should also put a little more effort into your makeup so you blended in a little more so you weren't surprised by the knock at the door indicating you had taken longer than you should have.

"Sorry Chan" you apologized, unlocking the door and pulling it open coming face to face with Felix and Hyunjin.

"We meet again Miss R" Hyunjin purred playfully, taking your hand and kissing the back of it.

"Hello Hyunjin" you rolled your eyes at his dramatic flare.

"You look beautiful in emerald, it brings out your eyes" Felix smiled as you met his eyes instantly becoming transfixed with how beautiful he looked with his hair slightly tousled in a deep navy suit.

"Flirt" you mumbled shyly as Chan cleared his throat behind them both. 

"Sorry Chan, I didn't mean to take your office for so long" you apologized again as he chuckled.

"It's not a problem Miss R, shall we?" He offered you his arm in a friendly manner which you took before he led you out on the floor, missing the expression on both Felix or Hyunjin's faces but not the loud whoop of laughter that erupted as the door started to close.

Most of the second night was not as intense as the opening night less pomp and ceremony and far more rich women on a mission, you were content to sit on the second level watching the hosts come and go entertaining and the farewelling their guests, occasionally getting winks or nods of recognition before they dived back in for the next guests. You hadn't seen Felix, Hyunjin or Chan again during the course of the night but you had caught glimpses of Seungmin and Minho as their guests arrived and they escorted them upstairs but the more fly on the wall view of them working was making it much easier for you to think up how the start of your editorial would go and how you would sell the speakeasy bar of the enterprise at least. As the night wore on you found yourself more and more comfortable with the idea of being at Club 143 which was, you assumed at least, Chan's entire plan for you. He had welcomed you, fed you, given you access to his employees but you were struggling to actually figure out how you could justify the next few nights of sitting around observing when you really had probably gotten everything you needed. You made a note in your phone to speak with Chan about whether he had already had any professional photos taken of the place or his hosts that you would be able to use for the article.

After several hours had ticked by you made your way back towards Chan's office so you could change again and head home, entering the staff area you noticed there were a few of the boys sitting either having a break or getting ready to head back into the club.

"Miss R, you alright?" San called to you looking slightly concerned.

"I'm fine San, I just should be calling it a night" you smiled warmly back at him, his concern for you making you feel genuinely thankful. Entering Chan's office you collected your bag so you could change out of your dress and into your jeans again.

"Did you want me to grab you a car to take you back home? I'm sure Chan would want to make sure you were safe" he continued appearing at the open office door.

"That's too kind of you San" you chuckled as he made his way towards you to help you with the bag, taking it effortlessly from you and offering you his arm.

"I know I'm not Felix or Hyunjin but I still would like you to get home safely" He joked guiding you to the back entrance to the building to where the cars were and once again you found yourself being helped into a black luxury car "See you tomorrow Miss R" he grinned shutting the door for you to let the driver get you home.

After getting a decent night's sleep you decided it would be better to get as much of the draft done as possible so you could run through any final questions you had with Chan later that night. You were sure you had enough now to be able to write the article without needing to spend a full week taking up Chan or any of the others further time and preventing them making the full amount they should for an opening week, and if Chan had photo's of at least the hosts that you could use the article would be pretty much done and could go off to the editor to go over. Without meaning to, you managed to work all the way to lunch time before getting your things back together to head back to Club 143 for perhaps the last time depending on whether you needed to add any extra information to your editor, or Chan for that matter, request.

Arriving at 12:30 you made your way through the empty bar after being greeted by the doorman and waving to the bar staff who were preparing for the night's service. Making your way into the staff area you were surprised to find Chan meeting with some of his top hosts making you pause as you closed the door behind you.

"Miss R, you return to us again" Hyunjin smiled, waggling his eyebrows at you.

"I promise I will be out of your hair soon Hyunjin" you smirked watching him deflate slightly and the others to laugh.

"Hopefully not to soon" Chan grinned standing to take your bag and place it in his office "Come join us it will give you some more insight" he gestured for you to take a chair somewhere in the room so you did without argument, partly because you were being paid to learn about his business and partly because the closest empty chair happened to be besides Felix totally missing the look Chan gave the others as you sat yourself down and got your phone ready to take notes.

"We have been discussing how the first two nights went" Seungmin added, making you look up at him in case he was going to continue.

"It has been pretty profitable" Felix added easily.

"Have the ladies down stairs been interested in meeting the more exclusive hosts?" Chan asked, turning to you.

"Of course they have, have you not watched them just about drool every time they see any of you?" you chuckled knowing that they knew damn well how they were being received.

"Told you" Changbin smirked looking at Chan "Miss R is a professional, she sees things the same way we do".

"It's a different point of view to ask a woman though" Chan half smiled before looking back at you. "How have you found it though you have spent time in the bar, the third and fourth floors is this place a worthy use for your time if you weren't writing an editorial about us?". 

You paused thinking exactly how you should answer such a loaded question.

"I think you have achieved what you set out to do, the bar is beautiful you feel welcomed and safe there, your hosts are handsome and all slightly different so you can cater to a thousand different women's fantasies without much trouble and from what you have shown me so far the actual host experience is very enjoyable so I think any woman would enjoy it here" you explained watching him as you did you could tell he was very pleased with your answer but you could feel that he wanted just a little bit more from you.

"As much as all of that is exactly what I wanted to hear you missed on little detail" he smiled roguishly, his host persona peeking through "Would you want to spend time here if it wasn't for your job?"  

"Yes, I would come to the bar at least" you replied, careful to keep some of your professional face on so that you didn't need to admit to the fact that you could never afford their services.

"But you wouldn't use the host service?" Seungmin pushed which made you quirk your eyebrow at him.

"I'm not sure the smoke and mirrors are going to be all that believable now that I have seen what's behind it" you shrugged "Plus I'm not sure if you have noticed but you boys are expensive". They laughed loudly at that leaving you hoping that they thought you were joking about their costs.

"Well I guess we will have to set you up some proper host experiences for you over the next few days" Hyunjin smirked at you but his eyes filled with mischief.

"Are you going to tease me about level 5 the whole time I'm here?" you pouted dramatically, rolling your eyes.

"Honestly it might be good if we have you try hosts from each of the tiers so you can write which sort of experience you can get at each level to make it obvious we are only super exclusive at the top end of the scale." Chan agreed, looking at you to gauge your reaction "If that is alright with you I can give you a rough price estimate of each encounter and you can see if it meets the experience you have" he scratched the back of his neck as he continued to watch you.

"That's actually very sensible if you want me to include all the services you have here but if you only want me writing about the first tier or two of the hosts to leave the others more exclusive you wouldn't need to bother setting up more than one or maybe two hosts willing to waste their time with me" you nodded "as long as they will still be paid properly I will feel endlessly guilty stealing their earning time on me".

"Oh they will all be paid, it's for the editorial and therefore good for the overall job we will all be doing so don't worry about them but I think Hyunjin might be right you should sample all the levels so you can experience what each type of guest can expect". Chan mused before getting out his phone to check the booking calendar. "I'll put you with San tonight or perhaps Yunho depending on their bookings, you can be on level 3 then with one of us on level 4 the same and if we get you to agree maybe you could see another room on level 5". You knew your face flushed at his final statement but you couldn't help it. You couldn't escape the connotations that level 5 was going to lead to a full host experience including sex if you agreed and although it was incredibly tempting you didn't know if morally you should. "So you would get the same treatment as our most elite clientele who cannot be seen on the lower floors" Chan finished.

"That is a huge out of pocket cost to you Chan I couldn't possibly accept that" you almost stuttered covering it by clearing your throat.

"I insist, really I should have thought of that sooner" Chan sighed looking back at you with a soft expression "I have San for you tonight so you will get the first tier host experience tonight he has a free opening that you can fill as a favor".

"The last favor I did for you I ended up tipsy" you bit your lips embarrassed.

"That's exactly how the experiences should be though" Hyunjin grinned again, looking like he had won some sort of grand prize.

The rest of the afternoon was spent going over photos with Chan that he had already had taken that you could use for the editorial. Most were only of the establishment that sold how opulent it was so that made your life a little easier to be able to write about each different area and show what was to be expected. The photos of the hosts however were going to be a little more difficult, Chan had given you a hard drive that contained photos of each of the hosts in his employment and not you needed to pick which ones you wanted. You knew you would obviously need to use one of Chan but then should you just use pictures of the hosts you were going to see as part of this experiment or should you pick the most enticing pictures you could find. Unwittingly you stumbled onto some which were virtually softcore porn, some of the escorting hosts had done a series of photos to show off their bodies to entice customers, Hyunjin with his suit jacket off and his shirt open, Chan in just his suit pants his tie undone and hanging loosely around his neck, Changbin flexing his large muscular arms and Felix laying in silk sheets looking sinful. You could feel your face heating up but you couldn't stop staring at him, Felix even in this far more sensual pose was still so painfully beautiful that you didn't want to stop looking even though you knew you shouldn't be seeing him like that.

Shaking your head to clear the lust that was begging to cloud your eyes you walked to Chan's office to see if it was empty so you could get ready, it was now almost opening hours and you couldn't be late to your appointment with San. That would be most rude. You slipped into a royal blue satin dress that was simple yet flattering to emphasized your hips and chest while remaining not too low cut or short so appropriate you figured to be just another guest in a bar and not someone begging for attention, you fixed your makeup adding to what you were already wearing and returned to the waiting room to pack up your laptop and notes. Stepping back into the room you heard a soft whistle.

"Each dress makes you look more enchanting than the last" Felix smiled, taking your hand and twirling you.

"Thank you Felix, I thought I should look a bit more expensive since I'm spending a week here, don't want to make the place look shabby" you grinned feeling thrilled with his compliment.

"You always look beautiful" Felix reassured "and San is a lucky boy tonight getting to spend his time with you, we are all very jealous he whispered leaning in as though he was telling you secret information.

"I doubt I'm that interesting to him Felix" you chuckled, feeling warmth spreading through you at his words and the feeling of his breath on your skin.

"I was wondering if you wanted to get another coffee tomorrow? Before you have to come in to work some more" He asked softly without the host bravado that he showed out on the floors above.

"I would like that very much" you nodded, catching your bottom lip in your teeth as nerves suddenly set into your stomach.

"Can I have your number to text you so we can organize it?" he continued smoothly, seeming more confident at your reaction, handing you his phone you added your details and gave it back to him quickly. "Can I escort you out to find San?" he offered easily, his arm already in position for you to take.

"Thank you Felix" you grinned, taking his arm and allowing him to lead you out into the bar. 

San stood casually by the bar and appeared to be scanning the room for you as his eyes stopped on you the moment you appeared with Felix, smiling at him nervously you made your way over to him only for Felix to lean in and whisper something in his ear before turning his attention back to you.

"Enjoy your evening Miss R" he grinned cheekily allowing San to take his place at your side moving back into the crowd you assumed to tend to his own booked guest.

"You look gorgeous Miss R" San drawled softly his arm slipping behind you to guide you towards the stairs "We will be heading up to level 3 tonight so that I can thoroughly indulge your every whim"

"Thank you San" you almost blushed at the seductive tone his voice had taken on "you look very attractive yourself". With his arm wrapped protectively around your waist he led you to and from the elevator into the booth that had been arranged for you, it seemed to be further back towards the bar which seemed to give off the illusion of even more privacy as he pulled the curtains around you after helping you into the booth. The deep red velvet absorbing the outside noise enough for you to almost feel like you were alone with San.

Reaching just behind you, San pushed a discreet button which summoned a waiter with a bottle of chilled wine and San discreetly thanked him before pouring you a glass.

"So Miss R, tell me about you, tell me about what you have always wanted" San smiled one eyebrow raised

"You know about my job already San" you blinked wondering where he was going with this.

"Not your job, about what you want in life, kitten your future" he chuckled softly, his eyes trained on you with a softness that made you feel safe.

"I want to be a serious journalist, it’s still pretty male dominated in the world of journalism and women don’t seem to get a look in when it comes to crime reporting or heavier news. We are always left with lifestyle and beauty and I want more than that” you answered sincerely letting your guard down a little knowing that San wouldn’t admonish you for having aspirations.

“Aren’t you a serious journalist now? Looking into the seedy underbelly of hosting?” he smiled slyly leaning back into the plush velvet seat back and extending his arm behind you.

“That’s not what this is San, and you know it” you almost sighed knowing that he was only playing his role.

“I know but you are still taking your job seriously and working diligently on this editorial, I know your work will be noticed, how could it not be?” he encouraged, letting his arm drop from the top of the seat to sitting comfortably around your waist. You shivered unintentionally at his touch even through the layers of fabric that separated your skin, it was becoming very clear why Chan’s hosts were as in demand as they were.

“What do you want to do in your life, San?” you tilted your head to look at him through your fluffy eyelashes. 

“Being a host can have a short shelf life depending on how good you are” he explained gesturing around you both “you have more options if you move into a more companion business but it's not guaranteed” he shrugged casually as he finished topping up your glass.

“Companionship?” you knew it was probably a dumb question but you had to ask.

“Escorting” he chuckled watching your face change to one of understanding “guys like Chan or Minho will stay handsome well into their 30s and 40s so they can continue the work for as long as they like. But hosts have to be young to flatter the woman seeing them that's part of the fantasy”.

“So is escorting the plan then?” You questioned breezily hoping it wouldn't come across as an interview.

“Maybe, or I could open my own place” he smirked cheekily “would you visit me if I did?”

“San!” you fake gasped clutching invisible pearls at your throat “how scandalous”. You dissolved into giggles that were helped along by the bubbles you were drinking.

“Well I'll take that as a yes” he laughed heartily, shifting himself closer to your side and another waiter appeared through the curtain to deliver another bottle of wine. “What else do you have planned for your life? It can’t be all work and no play?” 

“I want to travel. I want to see as much of the world as I can. So Paris, Milan, Prague, Rio, Nepal I want to see everything. But mostly I want to find someone who won't push me into a life I don't want" you replied slowly each thought coming out of your mouth without being filtered by your better judgment as the rapport you felt with San felt real even if that was just the alcohol and his excellent acting.

"I would love to travel too" San nodded, "I would love to see the world with you" , his sly smile feeling very flirty as you sipped from your glass.

"With me?" you blinked the wine making its way through your system and removing a little more of your inhibitions.

"Of course a beautiful woman like you should be fed dessert in fancy restaurants, doted on completely while shopping and being bought every single thing that brings you joy, and worshiped nightly in every place you wanted to stay. How could any man not want to be the one giving you that life" San purred, sliding himself closer to you so he was now touching you with the whole side of his body, the warmth from his chest seeping through his suit and into you "I couldn't think of a more enjoyable way to spend my time than making love to you in moonlight in Paris or Prague".

You swallowed hard, your surprise was probably obvious to San but after a moment you remembered this was an act, San was being paid to charm you and say all the right things. Once again he topped up your glass, when he lent closer to speak to you his breath fanned across your skin giving you goosebumps at the thought.

"You are very good at this San" you smiled, turning slightly more towards him.

"But not that good as you can still see what I'm doing" he chuckled, breaking the sexy character slightly and showing the more playful side that you had already met.

"I wouldn't say that I was very swept up" you admitted softly making him grin further "But I should be letting you get back to actual paying guests".

"Stay just a little longer no unnecessary flirting I promise" San faux pouted before breaking into a grin.

"Oh no don't pout like that I can't say no to that face" you giggled the wine now making you feel a little less professional and a little more cheeky.

"Ah I found a weakness" he almost crowed proudly "I will have to make sure the following guys know".

"You wouldn't betray me like that would you San" you pouted in return trying not to laugh as his eyes widened at your reaction.

"You are not meant to get upset" he whined as you melted into giggles.

"Happily tipsy looks very, very good on you" San quipped once again leaning back into the plush fabric of the booth.

"You're being paid to say that" you challenged, raising your eyebrow at him before leaning towards him "It's nice to be flattered though".

"I'm not being paid to tell you the truth I'm paid to make a fantasy and this isn't fantasy" San replied honestly as a new waiter reappeared with a tray containing several dishes that you weren't expecting San instantly picked up on your confusion his pretty laugh filling the booth "Chan wanted you to have a full experience and with our level of host that includes dinner so he ordered for you, I hope that is alright".

"Of course he did" you rolled your eyes making San's laughter continue "that man knows no limits when it comes to flaunting the sense of opulence does he?".

"He does but he wants to make sure you can write a proper review and that is worth every cent to him" San's eyes were still crinkled into attractive little moons.

"I do appreciate where he is coming from but surely he knows I am writing a favorable editorial by now" you continued watching San carefully watching for any sort of tell to show he was being disingenuous.

"I'll be honest I figured you would stop staying after the opening hours if you hated it. Just do your interviews then leave" he shrugged carefully, portioning a fork full of lobster that he then brought to your mouth to try, his other hand hovering under your chin to catch anything that might fall. Strangely enough you found yourself opening your mouth for him to place the lobster against your tongue before grinning at you.

"I forget you are all strangely perceptive about women" you lopsidedly grinned savoring the delicious buttery taste “Is feeding me also part of the experience?”

"It's all part of the deal kitten" San laughed lightly winking at you for dramatic effect. You ate the rest of the meal chatting with San about anything and everything before letting him lead you back downstairs where he told you Chan had arranged a car to get you home, because Chan really did think of everything.

Waking slowly, after having more drinks in the past week than you were used to, you were very happy to write the rest of your editorial, you had everything you were going to need you would just add a few bits and pieces about the experiences that Chan had decided to give you but the rest, including the photographs, was now ready to be fully drafted and read over by one of your editors. You attached the draft to an email saying that there was still one more page that needed to be done but that they could go over the first few and the photos that Chan had graciously provided to make sure that it was what they were looking for before you started getting ready for your day and your potential coffee catch up with Felix. 

Getting together your outfit for the day and choosing your outfit for that night was a very strange experience. You had been dressing yourself with a little more care to spend your days looking as nice as you possibly could but picking your outfit for the evenings had so far been a little daunting, it was a need to look the part of the patron so that everything looked normal to anyone who viewed you in Club 143 but also wanting to look attractive and even a little sexy just because you wanted to see how whoever you were paired with would react. Each outfit had been a little more daring; the emerald dress you had been far more form fitting around your chest, the blue had flattered your figure making you feel more womanly and tonight’s outfit was a form fitting silky burgundy dress with fine straps and a low cut back and a slit up the thigh. 

Arriving at Club 143 after lunch you had still not heard from Felix but it didn’t really surprise you he had been booked out every single night you had been there to observe and he must have been needing to catch up on sleep. You continued through the bar waving to the staff you had already seen several times and making your way to Chan’s office to drop off your things before making yourself comfortable in the normal corner of the waiting room. It was still quiet none of the hosts had arrived yet and you passed the time talking to the bar staff and writing up thoughts that you could flesh out later about the next level of host experience, even though you were yet to find out who you were going to be paired with. Chan arrived two hours later and waved as he passed you talking on the phone to someone before entering his office and closing the door.

“All by yourself again?” a very familiar voice asked from the doorway behind you.

“I guess I am Felix, how was your night?” You smiled to yourself before turning your head towards him.

“It was work-like” he shrugged, plopping himself down in the chair opposite you.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” you mused furrowing your eyebrows as you took in his appearance, he was still beautiful as ever but his eyes looked a little more downcast than you had seen them before.

“Both I guess” he sighed “It was profitable but it was just going through the motions, some nights are just more routine than others although I rarely have interesting ones” he admitted, his eyes flicking downwards before making contact with yours again.

“I never really thought about how all this must just be a day at the office for you guys, not everyday being enjoyable, some just tedious” you frowned slightly, the few glimpses you had been given of the darker side of the job were very unappealing to you.

“It’s not that any of us hate it” Felix countered “It’s just that it can get monotonous the same vapid women, the same fake interactions, the same facade over and over again but there are always going to have perks most of the time it's very easy to still see the attractive woman underneath who just wants to feel worshiped but sometimes you do come across women who you cannot find a single good quality about”.

“Hmm” you hummed not really knowing what to say. It made you feel a bit awful that there were nights that he had to pretend to feel attracted to someone and then have sex with them even though he had no interest in them.

“Let's talk about something else” he smiled trying to pick the mood back up “maybe we should have that coffee now” 

“Sure” you nodded hoping you would be able to perhaps make him feel a little better. Felix got up and went towards the kitchens to ask them for coffee you assumed and you were back to being alone saving your notes for later you decided to perhaps email Chan a draft copy of what you had written but he was still in his office so you didn’t want to disturb his work. Felix returned and offered his hand to you.

“Come on, follow me” with a mischievous glimmer in his eye you took his hand and allowed him to lead you to the elevator where he quickly swiped his key card before hitting the button to the fifth floor.

“Felix, where are you taking me?” you whispered a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Do you trust me?” he grinned impishly, not giving you any further explanation.

“Yes” you answered instantly, surprising even yourself by your own admission.

“Then you will see when we get there” he teased stepping closer to you. The door dinged and opened showing you the navy blue hallway that Can had shown you once before. Taking your hand in his again he beckoned you to follow him until he stopped at door 3, the room you had already seen briefly. “I’m not breaking any rules in showing you the room you have already seen” he soothed after noticing the slight trepidation in your eyes.

“You can read everything about me can’t you?” you contemplated following him into the room where there were already two hot coffees and two pieces of cake waiting for you in the lounge area of the large room.

“Not everything which is why you are so interesting” Felix clarified “Your honesty is what masks things from us, we all find it fascinating that you can see through the act without much trouble but also never judge us or behave as though you are better than us”.

“That’s because I am not better than you” you uttered feeling a little confused “I’m just a person like you Felix, like all the guys that work here”. You sat at one end of the lounge opposite him taking your cup and sipping from it.

“That right there is why every host here wants to have their five minutes to talk to you” he grinned toothily “A few sentences and you make us all feel better about a world of different things”.

“You are being too kind” you argued softly.

“You are selling yourself short” he shot back the dazzling smile still on his face “We had several media sources wanting to cover this opening mostly because it aligns them with the powerful women who come here whether they are CEO’s in their own right or the wives and girlfriends of powerful men. All of them spoke with Chan but you were the only one who didn’t speak down to him as though he was just another whore. You treated Chan with respect and with honest interest which is why your publication got the job”. Felix’s explanation hit you like a truck. You had been the one to volunteer for the position to pitch the editorial and also write it when your boss had mentioned it and your coworkers had seemed to have no interest but you hadn’t realized that there were other media companies vying for the same editorial.

“Who else did he speak to?” you asked concerned that maybe the job would have been done better by one of your competitors and Chan had only settled for you.

“SM Media Inc, KQ Publishing, YG Multimedia Co. None of them would have done as good a job as you” he shrugged again eating a mouthful of cake.

“Well I’m pleased he wanted me for the job. I'll send him the article before it’s published so he can go over it” you nodded slowly considering how you would get away with changing the editorial you had already sent in for viewing if he hated it. Felix laughed heartily, he seemed to be taking great pleasure in watching the cogs move around in your head.

“So tell me what else you do in your life Felix? I want to know something you have not told me yet” you smirked, making him stop laughing and turn serious again.

Returning back downstairs you found that half a dozen other hosts had arrived including Hyunjin who blew you a kiss as you walked past him, and also that Chan had emerged from his office. He stood from behind his desk and wandered into the waiting room as he noticed you pass by his office doorway

“So I realized that it might be a better idea to let you choose who you would like for your last host experience” Chan smiled kindly watching you take a seat and log yourself back into your laptop to continue working.

“Oh really? I assumed it would be whoever didn't have a booking” you blinked looking at him with curiosity as he continued over to where you were sitting.

“Well if I asked for volunteers I think Hyunjin would have fallen over himself to put his name down, and I'll admit I wouldn't mind it being me either but it should be your choice so you are totally comfortable” he continued a slight glint in his eye making you unsure if he was teasing you or not while Hyunjin nodded vigorously just behind him

“Well who have you decided I'll be seeing tonight?” you raised your eyebrow at him.

“Tonight you're with yours truly” he grinned smugly, making Hyunjin and Seungmin roll their eyes in unison.

“Let me think about it then” you smiled, laughter coloring your voice as you began typing up a few more notes.

“Booking is at 9 Miss R” he chuckled, heading back towards his office door.

“I won’t be late” you called after him.

You started changing at 8 o’clock sharpe so that you would have enough time to get your hair and makeup sorted as well as changing. Chan was nowhere to be seen so you assumed he was out on one of the floors or entertaining another guest which allowed you to take your time. When you finally emerged it was almost time for you to meet him so you opened his office door and stepped into the waiting room.

“Woah!” Jeongin whistled, looking you up and down slowly.

“Thank you Jeongin” you flushed slightly, your hands moving to smooth invisible wrinkles in the fabric.

“Would you like an escort to find Chan?” he offered a wide smile, his eyes turning into pleasant little moons as he offered his arm to you.

“Actually, yes please” you breathed knowing that he would probably see your nerves if you tried to hide them.

“You don’t need to be nervous Miss R. Chan doesn’t bite unless you ask him to and even then you would need to ask nicely” Jeongin joked trying to alleviate your fears.

I’ll try to remember that for the editorial then” you laughed lightly feeling slightly better.

Stepping onto the level 4 with Jeongin was a little odd. You could still see Changbin and Han entertaining two girls who looked like sisters in one booth and Minho leading his client towards another booth. The curtains of two others were pulled closed already meaning they were full but all the others were only half closed or still empty. 

“Here you go Miss R, step this way” Jeongin pulls aside one of the half pulled curtains to reveal Chan in all his glory leaning against the side of the booth watching the empty portions of the room.

“Not even a second late” Chan chuckled, offering you his hand to take as Jeongin winked at you before leaving. Helping you to get comfortably seating he moved to pull the curtain closed giving you a single glimpse of Felix who was looking straight at you, eyes wide, and distinctly not at the woman beside him who looked every bit the beautiful and rich CEO, his slight frown before the curtain separated you leaving you with an odd feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“So gorgeous, are you ready for me?” Chan’s velvety voice surrounded you like honey as you turned your face towards him. You had obviously spent time with Chan, you had even seen the professional photos that they had all had taken but it hit you like a lightning strike just how easy it would be to be wooed by him in this setting.

“You look devine tonight” he purred, sliding a little closer to you, watching you closely he slowly took your hand to kiss the inside of your wrist “you also don’t need to be nervous”.

“I was told you wouldn’t bite unless I asked you nicely” you tilted your head to gauge his reaction.

“For you I would do anything if you asked me nicely or not” you raised one eyebrow almost challengingly making you swallow hard and your eyes widened slightly.

“Good to know” you breathed a flush creeping across your cheeks.

“I was told by a reputable source that you like sweet things” he continued with a teasing smile gracing his handsome face as a waiter appeared with a tray of cocktails “so I took some liberties and ordered you some dessert”.

Placing down two cocktails you could see quite obviously that Chan had asked the others what you had drank, eaten and spoken about because the chocolate martini that was for you was very close to a favorite drink of yours.

“Thank you Chan” you whispered, picking up your glass to sip at it, your mouth suddenly very dry.

“I also heard you do not want to be placed in a cage” his dark cinnamon eyes made you feel like he could see into your soul.

“San has loose lips it seems” you added the corners of your mouth twitching as his grin increased.

“No, I am just incredibly persuasive when it comes to you” he advised sipping his own drink which to you looked very much the opposite of your drink. Chan seemed very good at keeping you somewhere between flustered and hypnotized but after a few more moments your brain caught up.

“I can see the difference now, from level three to level 4” you admitted coyly relaxing your posture slightly “San was particularly good but you are exceptional at this”. Chan faulted slightly before breaking into a breathtaking grin.

“I have to say you are quite remarkable at seeing through the act, it’s a bit of a rare gift” he hummed approvingly “Had to admit it’s a little bit of a turn on actually”. You coughed as you almost inhaled your drink at his words making him chuckle at you.

“Did you actually say that or did I imagine that?” you sniffed trying to regain your composure.

“No I said it, Hyunjin told me it was a completely different feeling watching you see straight through our usual way of working and I get now why he wanted to take you upstairs” Chan divulged “San let me know that you were the most fun he has had so far and you seem to have bewitched our little Felix”. Your jaw dropped slightly allowing Chan to slide closer to you lifting one finger to shut it again for you his fingers then moving to grasp your chin gently tilting your face towards his. It felt magnetic like you were being drawn closer to him every second but the illusion was shattered when you heard a loud shrill laugh from somewhere outside the curtained bubble you were in.

“I think perhaps I need another drink” you murmured as Chan dropped his hand away from you. He tilted his head slightly and a waiter appeared as if summoned, although you were sure CHan was just more subtle about the button to call the staff than San.

“Can we have another round and bring dessert this time please” Chan instructed smoothly not moving away from you instead slipping out of his jacket, leaving him in only a black shirt with no tie.

“The drink isn’t dessert then?” you mused, thinking he had been mentioning the sweet drink earlier.

“No I have something far more substantial for you, after all I need to leave a sweet taste in your mouth from the experience” he flirted effortlessly knowing that the choice of words would push you just a little.

“Still hoping I’ll come back after this editorial is done then?” you teased back knowingly

“Oh I have no doubt you will come back, I’m hoping to sway you to come back to level 3 or 4” he cheekily retorted, his dimples shining.

“Well Mr Bang that all depends on what you have got for me?” you giggled as the waiter reappeared and stopped Chan’s comeback in its tracks. Placing down another martini for you excused himself to collect the rest of Chan’s request. Moments later he reappeared with a tray full of what looked like chocolate truffles and strawberries dusted with gold flakes.

“As with San last night I like to go all out” Chan grinned like a cat that got the cream “We get these in from France they are made with the finest Swiss chocolate and the best French champagne”. He lifted one off the tray and brought it to your lips which you opened keeping your eyes locked on his. He was right they were the most delicious chocolate you had ever eaten and you were quite alright with the idea of sitting drinking your martini with him feeding you, but you assumed that was due to the rather strong cocktail you had already drunk and the one you were about to start. You continued chatting to Chan a little more casually after he started hand feeding you strawberries and chocolate until you had accidentally had a third martini and your head was actually fuzzy.

“Would you like another drink or would you like something else?” Chan murmured sensually his lips only inches from your ear.

“I think I’m good” you smiled lazily, enjoying the warmth of his breath on your neck.

“I’m sure you are very good gorgeous, but that wasn’t what I meant” he quipped leaning in closer so his lips brushed your earlobe making you involuntarily shudder “I love that you are so eager to please, such a perfect little tease”.

Your brain wasn’t fast enough to react with wit instead opting to just hum and let him get even closer to you, being ever the gentleman Chan gave you time to respond between each gentle touch of his fingers running down you bare back, each brush of his lips against your skin until you were almost embarrassingly pliant.

“Tell me to stop and I will, gorgeous” he whispered huskily in your ear before actually pressing his lips to your neck making you gasp softly turning your head toward him. Following the line of your jaw Chan kissed his way to you lips each one slightly more passionate than the last until his lips pressed against yours. His soft plump lips felt stupidly good against your own especially when he dragged your bottom lip between them using his teeth and making you sigh with pleasure, his tongue traced the seam of your lips teasing you and hoping you would allow entrance which you did too caught up in the moment and the alcohol to be thinking quick enough to stop yourself. 

“Mmm… wait Chan stop” you slurred slightly as he broke away from your lips to kiss his way to your earlobe, your brain finally registering what you were doing. To his immense credit Chan did stop instantly removing not only his lips and hands from you but also sliding away from you so you were no longer touching.

“I apologize” he replied instantly “I didn't mean to overstep”.

“You didn’t, not really, I’m just a little too drunk for this to be a good idea” you admitted trying to shift the alcohol from your brain so you could think better.

“I will get you a car home” Chan smiled genuinely, his eyes shining with something that looked a little like admiration and a little like affection.

“Thank you” you swallowed as Chan moved to help you stand from the booth, steadying you by wrapping his arm around your waist as he walked you to the elevator. Moving past the tables you saw the booth that Felix was in earlier still occupied which gave you a strange sense of relief that he was still on this floor and not the one above but that was shattered we the curtain opened and you saw him, his arms wrapped around his patron feeding her strawberries the same way Chan had fed them to you. You looked away quickly hoping that both Chan and Felix would not notice but you had a feeling that Chan already had as he pulled you slightly tighter against his side as the elevator doors opened stepping inside you turned towards the closing doors to see Felix’s face fall as his eyes landed on you for the brief moment before the door separated you both.

Chan led you to his office to collect your things, easily carrying both your bags on one of his arms making sure you were stable enough to not hurt yourself. He mentioned to the driver that he was to escort you into the building and help you with your bags before taking your hand in his and kissing your knuckles.

“We will see you tomorrow Ms R” he beamed, helping you with your seatbelt even though it was unnecessary.

“But we haven’t talked about tomorrow’s host experience” you protested, suddenly aware that you hadn’t even discussed the topic properly yet. You felt yourself flush, hoping that Chan wouldn't notice it over the pink already dusting your cheeks from the alcohol you had been drinking.

“Good thing I had already put him aside for you then” his eyes twinkled as he spoke and his dimples were on full display.

“What?” You stammered “I haven’t told you yet”.

“I know, Felix asked to host you if you requested him and I figured you would. You seem to have already formed an attachment to each other” He continued before chuckling.

“Goodnight Chan'' you mumbled a tad embarrassed that you were so transparent to him.

“Goodnight Miss R” Chan replied teasingly, shutting the door and allowing the driver to take you home.

The following morning was not as pleasant as the previous few mornings, you woke up nursing a headache and a mortifying recollection of embarrassing events where you had almost let yourself take things too far with Chan then practically told him of your little crush on Felix, which you realized the night before was exactly that, a crush, there was no way that you would ever entertain the idea that a grown woman like yourself would end up with a silly little crush on a man you were writing about. It was the least professional thing you had ever done and now you needed to turn up at the same place that he worked and face not only him but his boss who knew about it. You needed to distract yourself. You needed coffee and something sweet for breakfast then perhaps you would feel better.

You washed up and got dressed into a simple shirt and jeans before venturing out for the sustenance you needed to help with your predicament. You knew deep down you hadn’t actually done anything wrong, the host experience is to sell a fantasy of feeling loved or desired or more often than not both and that every single one of Chan’s hosts lived up to that. Each fantasy they created absolutely made you feel that the average woman they saw would have been totally swept off her feet by them. You, once tipsy, were almost swept up in it too so you knew they were good, you knew they were worth the money but still a little part of you was sad it was all just a fantasy and potentially the hosts themselves were not as happy as they seemed.

Your constant thoughts had made you almost miss the door to the cafe you were heading to. It was almost a twenty minute walk from your apartment but the coffee was so good you would happily make the trip. Moving your way through the few filled tables you found yourself an empty seat and sat down looking through your phone as you waited to order. The quiet chatter and the smell of freshly ground coffee gave you some much needed comfort after your order was taken sitting staring into space. You barely registered your phone's message alert, checking it you noticed it was from an unknown number, you frowned but opened it anyway.

 Hey. It’s Felix, are you alright after last night? I saw you leave the floor with Chan so I wanted to check in.

 You read it twice to make sure you had read it correctly then smiled of course the first text he sent you and it’s asking about your welfare, he was too sweet for his own good and that was the problem. He was otherworldly beautiful and far too sweet which of course is what made him so successful as a host, but it also made him too attractive to you. Sighing you thought about how you would reply you didn’t want to sound like it was a flippant thing given he was concerned but you didn’t want him to think the worse either.

Hi Felix, I’m ok just nursing a little bit of a headache but I’ll be fine by the time I head in this afternoon. I hope you had a successful night.

You put your phone down to concentrate on the pancakes that had been delivered to you. The sugar and dough no doubt likely to help with how you felt you would just need to remember to pace yourself a little bit better tonight.

That’s great, I’m glad you’re feeling alright. I know Chan has a tendency to be a little intense sometimes, especially on the 5th floor. I saw on my schedule you're with me tonight so I’ll do my best to keep you entertained :) 

You stopped completely, almost dropping your fork, as you looked over the message coughing when some of the pancake you were eating went down the wrong way. Felix had assumed you had gone upstairs and had sex with Chan. Your stomach dropped, you didn’t want any of them thinking that you had, but especially Felix, because you hadn’t. Sipping some water you blinked the stray moisture from your eyes that the coughing fit had caused and pressed the call button.

“Sorry to call Felix but this is easier to explain than text” you blurted as soon as he answered his phone.

“That’s fine Miss R, you sound stressed, are you sure you feel well?” he asked, his voice sounding concerned against the noise in the background of his surroundings. 

“I really am fine, just a headache, but I had to correct you. I didn't go to level 5 last night. I got a little too tipsy and Chan took me downstairs to put me in a car to get me home. I swear nothing happened with Chan” You explained your tone at a higher pitch than normal making you sip your water again to soothe your throat.

“It’s fine if you did, I wouldn’t judge you for that the way you don’t judge me” Felix reassured you, sounding almost relieved if you were honest with yourself. You let out a large breath making him chuckle slightly.

“I didn’t want you to think the wrong thing that’s all but about tonight Chan told me that I would be able to be in with you since you had an opening which I was surprised about actually” you admitted shyly a flush decorating your neck as you spoke.

“Oh you requested me then” he teased sweetly “Well I’m happy to be your first pick and I’m glad I had an opening”.

“I will see you tonight then Felix” you added not knowing what else to say.

“You will Miss R” he replied, hanging up instantly and leaving you staring at your phone. God, you felt even more embarrassed calling him to assure him you hadn’t had sex with anyone, in public, when he didn’t even seem to mind. You finished your breakfast quickly before returning home so you could overthink every word you had said over the past week while you picked out the final outfit from your closet for your final night at Club 143.

You settled on the outfit that most made you think of Felix a black off the shoulder mini dress with a flippy hem, like the one you had tried on in the department store the morning you had run into him, and simple black pumps. You decided you would just add some winged eyeliner to your everyday look and maybe some bolder lipstick to take it from regular working to host experience working and hoped it would be enough to make a slight impression on Felix so that he would at least potentially remember you after the night was over and you had left his life. Furrowing your brow you looked at yourself in the mirror your bag packed behind you on the bed to change and your simple jeans and a square necked top you were utterly plain compared to every single host you had met, and although they had all been sweet and accommodating during the past week with them you couldn’t help feel a little sad it was over. You did suppose that Chan had a point you could always just attend Club 143 as a patron you didn’t need to buy their time you could always just say hello in passing and pretend that it was enough, pretend it didn’t feel strange that they pretended so well to almost become friends to actually not be at all.

Collecting your bags you made your way back to work taking the slow and scenic way wandering the neighboring streets to see what else was around. Finally making your way into the main entrance you were greeted like you had been before by Chan’s bar and floor staff before entering into the staff area to set up your laptop with the final bits of writing you would need to add. It was later than you normally showed up and Chan was in his office with several of his elite hosts so you just bypassed his office for now. Your editor had sent back a few tweaks for you to make to the editorial but was overall quite supportive and approving of what you had come up with so it was just finishing up the experience with San and writing out Chan’s before finishing it all tomorrow and submitting it. For the final draft stages. You started typing, noting to yourself to add a head shot of both San and Yunho to hopefully further their customer base as a thank you for their time, only to hear a huge roar of laughter from Chan’s office making you jump. 

“Miss R” Seungmin sang as he wandered out of the office towards you. “Could you join us for a moment?”.

“Of course Seungmin” you eyed him warily, making him waggle his eyebrows at you “what are you getting me into?”.

“Nothing bad. We just want to go over last night with you” he grinned his eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Well shit” you sighed, standing slowly and following him into Chan’s office. 

“We were just talking about your date with Chan” Seungmin started as you stepped through the door.

“Yeah and how you disappeared with our dear boss” Hyunjin grinned, making you look at the ceiling for help.

“Chan claims he cannot kiss and tell, but we are pretty sure we know where you ended up” Changbin teased, looking from you to Chan.

“Really? And where was that?” you mocked his tone slightly making Chan grin and Minho laugh loudly.

“Upstairs of course” Hyunjin whispered, shouting dramatically as though he was helping you jog your memory, making Changbin snicker.

“Really? Because I’m pretty sure upstairs looks nothing like the inside of a car. Or my apartment block for that matter” you replied dryly, making Chan and Seungmin laugh while Hyunjin’s jaw dropped and Changbin looked confused.

“Felix said he saw you getting in the lift with Chan and that Chan gave a thumbs up” Changbin argued as though you didn’t know where you had been.

“Felix did see me get in the elevator, but you do know that elevators go both up and down” you tried to hold in a laugh at the indignant look on Changbin’s face.

“So you didn’t go upstairs with Chan?” Hyunjin repeated.

“I did not” you laughed “How much money did you have riding on that?”.

“More than they should have” Chan smirked as Hyunjin opened and closed his mouth a few times.

‘Can I finish my editorial now? Or did we need to discuss the sex I didn’t have with Chan further?” you raised your eyebrows waiting for one of them to answer.

“You go back to work Miss R” Chan smiled “I think Hyunjin will be bringing you a coffee in a little while”.

“Aw thank you Hyunjin” you grinned, walking back to your chair and going back to what you needed to get done. Still having the occasional giggle about the conversation you just had.

By the time the other hosts started appearing and it was time for you to start getting ready you were beginning to get nervous. An elite host experience Chan had called it and it was exclusive to only those willing to pay a small fortune to spend time in private with a host of their choice. Felix would probably meet you out in the bar like you had done with San since you were heading straight up to level five and bypassing the other host floors. There would be dinner and you would have Felix all to yourself for the whole night which was a huge amount of time compared to the other experiences Chan had his hosts offer. Closing down your laptop you packed away all of your work items and moved towards Chan’s office to change.

“Am I able to use your office again to get changed or are you still busy?” you enquired sticking your head into his office where he was sitting at his desk already decked out in his deep gray suit. Chan got up and walked over to you taking your work bag from your hands and placing it beside his desk

"Sure and what color are you wearing tonight? just out of interest" Chan smirked stepping out into the staff area.

"Black" Felix answered for you before you could say a word, his voice surrounding you like smoke.

"How did you know I bought a black dress?" you turn towards his voice, your eyes widening the moment you saw him in his satin black suit jacket looking like a model straight off the catwalk.

"Oh I didn't know that I just knew what I bought" he smiled dazzlingly, holding out a large white gift bag tied with a deep red ribbon.

"I don't understand" you mumble, your brow creasing in confusion looking at the bag before he took hold of your hand and placed the handles of the bag in your palm, closing your fingers around it.

"You didn't think you could try on that dress and look that good and I wouldn't insist you wear it?" He smirked, leaning forward and lowering his voice.

"You didn't!" you squealed loudly as he laughed and wandered out into the bar you guessed so he was out of the room before you could argue back.

"What dress are we talking about?" Chan asked, perplexed, his eyes scanning the bag for a label.

"Oh is that the McQueen one? Felix said she looked a million dollars is that one" Hyunjin grinned following Felix's trail through the room and stopping beside you.

“No!...he’s not allowed to do that…fuck where did he go?” you scoffed while still holding the bag.

“He is and he did” Hyunjin winked at you “Now go put the dress on so I can see if he was right”. You gave a resigned sigh you knew this would be a battle you would never win. Too many rich boys with too much money was always going to end in stupid decisions like buying dresses for women they barely knew because they could.

Turning silently you went into Chan’s office and shut the door but not before hearing Hyunjin announce loudly that you were about to knock their socks off so they should all wait around for a bit. You unwrapped the dress carefully, trying to not mess up the ribbon or the tissue paper it was wrapped so beautifully in, your fingers caressing the silk that you had already tried on and secretly loved but had thought you would never in a million years own. Your eyes stung slightly as a stray tear fought to make its way free of your eye, Felix’s gesture proving that his kindness and sweetness knew no bounds and that you and your little crush were doomed to an inevitable heartbreak at the end of the night. Slipping out of your clothes and into the dress you remembered you were going to struggle with the zip again.

“Hyunjin?” you called through the door

“Yes princess” he called back obviously just outside the door.

“Who is waiting out there with you?” you asked as sweetly as you could.

“Oh! There is Chan, Minho, Hongjoon, San, Yunho, Seungmin and of course me” he listed off.

“Excellent” you popped your head out of the door “San can you help me with the zipper please?” you smiled as he grinned and stood up immediately.

“Wait, I can help” Hyunjin protested.

“I know, but I asked San” you quipped as San moved past Hyunjins disappointed face and into the room with you.

“You look exquisite” San whispered appreciatively as you turned around, his fingers easily sliding the zipper up your back.

“Thank you San” you smiled genuinely as you turned back to face him.

“Felix is a lucky, lucky man” he smiled lopsidedly before slipping back out of the room which caused Hyunjin to protest all over again.

You fixed your makeup and took a steadying breath, your nerves were now sky high but you knew there was no turning back now so you stepped out of Chan's office and into a room filled with silence, except for San’s whistle. 

“You look incredible” Chan grinned, taking your hand and kissing your knuckles.

“Thank you Chan” you smiled while worrying your lower lip slightly between your teeth.

“You look far better than just a million dollars” Hyunjin whispered reverently, his eyes wide.

“You are going to make me blush if you keep complimenting me” you shuffled on your feet slightly. 

“Can I escort you out to meet Felix?” Yunho interrupted getting in before any of the others could say anything else.

“That would be amazing, Yunho” you grinned at him as he raced across the room to take your hand and place it in the crook of his arm. You didn’t feel any different stepping out of the staff area into the bar, it was the same as every other evening the difference was going to be when you came face to face with Felix.

“You don’t need to be nervous” Yunho muttered trying to hide he was speaking to you from prying eyes “Felix won’t do anything you don’t want him to, and there is no expectation on you” his hand squeezed yours where it sat in the crease of his elbow “I didn’t even know you could get nervous”.

“Funny Yunho, I’m not immune to everything” you whispered in reply knowing he was right everything that would happen tonight would be the same as all the previous nights you had spent in the club. The ball was entirely in your court. 

Yunho walked you to the entrance where Felix stood waiting for you, several women trying to get his attention but being politely declined until his eyes landed on you.

“Excuse me ladies, my queen awaits” he smiled graciously, walking towards you and Yunho. Yunho for all his imposing presence disappeared effortlessly into the crowd as Felix stepped into your space to take your hand moving it to his lips to kiss the inside of your wrist softly.

“Felix” you smiled coyly, making his perfect face light up as he moved to wrap his arm around your waist to lead you to the elevator.

“You look bewitching” he breathed in your ear making you shiver against him which seemed to only encourage him into pulling you tighter against him. Virtually every woman in the bar watched you with envy at being beside him.

“You look incredibly handsome yourself” you replied feeling more comfortable now that you were with Felix again. He grinned as he stepped into the elevator swiping his card to get you to the exclusive fifth floor starting what you knew would be a once in a lifetime night.

“Chan made sure you had seen one room when he gave you the tour so now I can show you a second” Felix broke the silence between you.

“Did you pick which room you would show me?” you tilted your head to look at his profile.

“Yes, because it's a particular favorite of nearly all of us hosts” he admitted, easily meeting your eyes.

“A favorite as in it makes you guys a lot of money or favorite as you guys actually like being in that room?” you teased gently 

“We like being in this room, it's the easiest to make comfortable for clients who perhaps aren’t interested in certain things” he carefully explained letting you know before you even reached the room that there would be no pressure on you.

“Good to know” you beamed as the elevator door opened to the navy blue hallway. Taking your hand he led you down the hallway passing door number three and leading you to door number 8. Unlocking the door he allowed you to step inside the room first letting you take in your surroundings before wrapping his arms smoothly around you from behind.

The room was the opposite of what you expected it wasn’t some overly ostentatious room styled after a luxury hotel room instead the blue and gold continued only instead of navy blue it was more of a deep teal blue with antique gold light fixtures and dark coloured furniture but the main focal point was the dozen upon dozens of candles flickering on almost every surface in front part of the room stood a black glass table with place settings for two large floor candelabras covering the area in a romantic golden glow. Further into the room dark lounge suites and the further again a bed made up in matching teal sheets all surrounded but flickering light.

“Do you think you prefer this room?” his deep honey voice in your ear.

“Yes this room is beautiful” you replied in awe, feeling his arms squeeze you slightly before unwrapping them from you and leading you towards the table pulling out your chair for you.

“I thought rather than the normal ridiculous menu I would try something new with you” he started taking his own chair as you heard the keycard beep for the door to open revealing a waiter wheeling a food serving cart with large silver cloches covering several dishes. The waiter placed the dishes on the table and then left himself out of the room as quietly and discreetly as possible.

“New in what way?” you tilted your head looking from Felix to the covered dishes.

“I already know that your immune to the normal charm act so I figured instead of playing the part I usually would, I’ll just be me” he shrugged “ I can still give you the full experience without pretending to be something that you will see through anyway so why not have a normal dinner together like we would if this was any other normal date?”. Lifting the cloches and placing them back on the serving cart you were met with two types of pasta, Caprese salad and arancini with aioli. You realized immediately what he meant instead of ridiculous amounts of over the top food he was trying to keep you as comfortable as possible.

“This looks fantastic Felix” you grinned toothily making his shoulders relax a little more. Felix served you a little bit of everything insisting you could eat whatever you liked but you were more interested in just spending the time you had available with him.

“This is the last night you’re going to be here isn't it?” Felix enquired quietly between mouthfuls.

“For this editorial yes” you nodded, taking a sip of the white wine that Felix had chosen to go with your meal. “But I thought I might come back for a drink or two sometimes, the bar is great and it feels really safe as a woman to be in here”.

“But that is only the bar” Felix pressed you slightly “You won’t return to the hosts will you?”.

“I might, I couldn’t obviously be paying for Chan or you to entertain me, you are too pricey for a lowly journalist. But I could see San or Yunho occasionally” you admitted pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as his eyes narrowed for a fraction of a second.

“Are you interested in seeing San or Yunho again?” I know you spent time with Yunho for the editorial and you had the mid level host experience with San” he continued but you could tell he was selecting his words carefully. 

“That was just an example, someone like me could only afford the basic or mid level host experience at a place like this. It doesn't have to be either San or Yunho specifically although they are both a lot of fun” you confessed hoping that he liked that answer better.

“Oh so you would be happy to see anyone then?” he teased.

“Well I’d see you but your price tag is more than I could afford unless you take payment in other ways” you teased back making his eyes widen before he laughed, the rich deep sound sinking into your skin like the sun's warmth. 

“I’m sure we could figure something other than money out if you were interested in only seeing me” he smirked, his eyes darkening as little as he wet his lower lip.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t be playing the part tonight” you raised your eyebrow “yet here you are flirting like Hyunjin would”.

“This isn’t the facade, this is me” he confided, his voice deeper than it had been before as he stood from the table and slowly walked around to your chair pulling it away from the table so you were now facing him. “I’ve never been more serious”.

“Felix” you whispered softly, confused where this was going.

“How about I show you what I mean” he murmured leaning down he cupped your face gently angling your chin higher so you were looking into his whiskey colored eyes, his thumb gently traced along your bottom lip as he leaned in tentatively pressing his lips to yours in a featherlight kiss giving you time to pull away. When you didn’t move he smiled graciously, pressing his lips against yours again this time with a little more force allowing you to kiss him back with your hand moving to wrap around his wrist. Taking your other hand in his he helped you stand his plump lips never leaving yours, pulling you flush against him.

“Do you understand what I mean now or should I explain further?” he whispered against your lips letting you decide how much you wanted from him.

“A little more should make it crystal clear” you sighed softly you words cut off as his soft lips claiming yours tenderly once more, Felix teasing your bottom lip with his teeth until you were gasping breathlessly into the kiss, his tongue dancing with yours sensually he moved one hand around your waist to hold you to him. 

“You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted this” he smirked, pulling away from you just enough to slide his hands around you deftly gliding the zip of your dress down and watching it fall from your chest. Licking his lips as your upper body became completely exposed to him “I had never been so jealous of Hyunjin before after he said he had kissed you”. His fingers caressing your cheek while he leaned in to kiss your neck his lips softly tracing your pulse point before continuing down to your chest.

“I wanted to end Chan when he bragged about touching you, kissing you” he continued his hands cupping and lightly squeezing your breasts as he kissed his way back to your face. You couldn’t move, enjoying the feeling of his hands and lips on, your arm wrapped around his neck to keep yourself upright, carding your fingers through the hair on the back of his head..

“Neither meant anything if that helps” you whimper feeling his lips turn up against your lips as you pressed them back against his taking the initiative for the first time since Felix had touched you. 

“It does” he smirked, stepping back from you and leading you towards the bedroom area of the suite, the warmth of his hand anchoring you to him. Sitting on the bed he guided you into his lap, your skirt bunching up around your waist as you straddled his strong thighs. You kissed him again allowing him to slip his tongue between your eager lips to slide against your own in a slow dance for dominance beginning between you which he easily won as you pushed his jacket off of his shoulders to get closer to his skin. Felix let his hands roam your sides and arse encouraged you to grind yourself against him while you buried your hands in his amazingly soft hair tugging slightly as your need for him started to build, making him hum against your lips. Without much effort Felix switched your places you back now pressed against the soft mattress as he discarded his jacket and returned to kissing his way across your body, his lips left a scorching path down your chest until he reached your breasts taking one into his mouth while his hand played with the other.

“Fuck your tits are incedible” he breathed against your nipple circling the now swollen bud with his tongue as you arched against him slightly letting out a string of whiny noises “and you are so sensitive, your going to drive me mad baby”.

Your heart skipped a beat at the term of endearment that fell from his beautifully plump lips as he made his way across to your other breast giving it the same torturously pleasurable treatment. Nipping and sucking at your flesh like he was a man possessed. Moving lower he kissed his way to your belly button before hooking his fingers into the material of your dress that remained bunched around you carefully lowering it down your thighs dropping it beside the bed leaving you is just black lace underwear that he admired slowly dragging his finger along the pattern that covered your core.

“Lix” you whimpered softly your skin one fire beneath his warm touch.

“Fuck call me that again” me purred sexily closing his eyes while his fingers continues to trace across your flesh.

“Lix please” you whined watching his adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard, his head tipping back slightly seemingly turned on further by your words. Smiling wickedly he licked his lips and lowered himself between your thighs kissing the inside of one before placing a chaste kiss on your covered core making you shiver in anticipation. His smirk was covered by your mound as he began to trace the lace patterns on the small piece of fabric separating the two of you making you whimper again you were sure he could probably already feel how wet the fabric had become. His teasing continued as he unbuttoned his dress shirt stopping only for him to toss the garment behind him and pull your underwear aside his tongue gliding through your drenched folds earning you the pleasure of a deep groan falling from him before he swiped his tongue through them again collecting your essence and began eating you out as though it was going to keep him from from dying of thirst. Your whines and soft moans spurred him on as went between kitten lick to your clit and long dragging figure eights that drove you insane reaching down you grab a handful of his hair to ground yourself and making him groan loudly against you the vibrations sending you into an unexpected orgasm with a loud sob of his name.

“You taste delicious baby” he teased, moving away from your sensitive core, his angelic face covered in your arousal making him look like he had fallen from grace and straight into your bed. “Can’t wait to feel you fall apart around me baby”.

Standing from the bed he began to undo his belt, removing it slowly his pants and boxers following abandoned where they fell he leaned in to pull your now very wet underwear down your legs before climbing back over you to kiss you, his rock hard cock pressing against your thigh. He ran his hands up and down your sides making sure you were relaxed again he kissed you softly giving you time to come back down from your high to not push you too fast you could taste yourself on his lips and tongue making the knot in your abdomen begin to tighten again.

“Lix” you whispered cupping his face softly as he pulled himself away from you slightly to look into your eyes “I want to feel you, please” you soft pleading making his eyes widen and genuine look of adoration cross his features.

“God you are everything I could have ever dreamt of” he breathed almost inaudibly allowing his length to slip between your thighs coating himself in your juices “I need you to tell me you want this”.

“Please Felix, I need you” you pleaded again the desperation in your voice showing through making him nod pecking your lips gently as he continued to coat himself in your juices, the head of his cock brushing your clit and making you gasp loudly. Slowly rutting against you he finally lined himself up at your entrance and began leisurely pushing himself inside your still fluttering hole.

“Fuck you feel amazing baby” he groaned bottoming out inside your plush walls before gradually pulling himself out and sinking back into you again. You had never felt so full his dick stretching you to the point you felt like you were being split in half, the pleasure tinged with pain bringing tears to your waterline. 

“Lix…ngh…ah” you moaned uncontrollably each snap of his hips making you feel utter blissful pleasure. Taking his time Felix unhurried pace was leaving you feeling almost drunk as he leant his forehead against yours sweetly humming every time you loudly moaned his name. You met each of his thrusts, your hips rolling against his.

“You’re breathtaking like this” he whispered, increasing the strength of his movements “like you were made just for me” he groaned as you clenched at his words.

“Just for you Lix, only for you” you babbled as white hot sparks spread through your veins making tears fall from your eyes running down your temples into your hair. You were sure Felix could feel your body tightening below you as he moved one hand to wrap your leg around his waist giving him the ability to go even deeper than before, his cock head almost kissing your cervix making you cry out.

“That’s it baby” he purred, burying his face into your neck to kiss and suck on your skin pushing you to the edge again.

“Felix!” you screamed convulsing around his length as your entire body shook and your vision went white, his name tumbling from your lips again and again like a prayer. Felix continued his pace helping to prolong your ecstasy only stopping when you felt him fill you with his thick warm seed. 

Felix peppered your face with sweet kisses as he carefully pulled his softening dick from you, pulling you into his arms as he lay beside you stroking your skin softly until you returned from the fog of pleasure that was currently filling your head. After a few moments he began to massage your thigh easing the muscles that had so tightly squeezed him.

“Is that what it is always like?” you rasped looking up at him with still watering eyes.

“It’s never like, not for clients” he admitted pulling up the blankets to cover your sweat sheen covered bodies. “But for you it would always be like that”.

Felix held you tightly letting your body recover, allowing you to doze off in his arms for a few minutes. When you woke he was wearing a silk robe tied tightly at the waist and was hanging up both your dress and his suit in an empty wardrobe.

“Lix?” you questioned softly sitting up and letting the blankets fall away from your still naked form.

“I didn’t want to wake you baby, you needed to rest” he chuckled quietly, bringing you a glass of water and another glass of wine, climbing into the bed beside you.

“What happens now?” you asked, sipping from the glass of water before allowing Felix to wrap you back up in his arms.

“That is up to you” he conceded, his voice tinged with nervousness.

“Did you want this to be more than tonight?” you continued hoping that you had understood him correctly “Do you want me?”.

“So much, I never expected to meet anyone like you” he confessed “I’ve not been interested in anyone for such a long time that I just thought it wasn’t going to happen ever. But then you appeared and I couldn’t help it, I want to try to make it work with you if you will let me”.

“How would it work though? You here every night and me at work every day we would be like ships passing in the night” you sighed trying to think of what sort of schedule would actually work for the both of you.

“So your first concern isn’t that I make my living like this, it's my hours that are the issue?” he chuckled looking at you with disbelief.

“Well, I mean…. Look Lix I know what you do, and I know you have been doing it for years so it isn’t fair for me to just demand you change your life for me when we don’t even know each other that well” you exhaled looking up at his face.

“The others were right, your honesty is insanely attractive” Felix hummed, placing a soft kiss against your forehead. “But I am willing to go back to just hosting and not escorting if it means I get a shot with you”.

“Have I not been obvious enough?” you giggled your fingers drawing patterns on his beautiful honey skin “I thought you could read women like a book?”.

“Women yes, you no” he groaned, his muscles twitching under your gentle ministrations.

“I like you a lot Felix” you whispered your hand sliding lower brushing his warm skin and eventually wrapping around his half hard cock. “I want to be with you”.

Felix tilted your head with his fingertips connecting his lips to yours in a long kiss that he only broke when the gradual pumping of your hand made him hiss in pleasure.

“I will never stop worshiping you baby, especially now you are mine” His breath fanned across your face and he rolled you back under him grinning devilishly once more.

a/n: Thank you for reading you beautiful people, all your likes reblogs and comments are adored and I hope you enjoyed this one even though it is a bit of an epic. Thank you again to everyone that has followed me and left messages of love and encouragement for me you are amazing xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz @armystay89 @damnyouficc @roamingpolar @tara-skyhold @bakedlilgoonie @krishastumblernow @mrsseals16 @fawnpeaks @leeknowinggg @uno7 @tanzen-ist-gold

[interlunium-opus]

► TEMPESTUOUS DESIRES [Jake.]

Abstract: For a messenger of love who effortlessly intertwines hearts, Jake himself remains untouched by the desires he kindles. This wasn’t a problem until he met you. Being disinterested in love and somehow always able to evade his shots, you soon became the object of his fixation but those very pure intentions to find you a good match soon gave way to obsession and temptations. As his golden arrows can’t be used to bewitch you to him, he ended up delving further into darkness where the lines between love and obsessions becomes blurred, corrupted by the insatiable need to own and possess you for himself. As he spirals down this treacherous path, he becomes entangled in a web of deception and manipulation, forsaking his once noble purpose.

Genre: fantasy | forbidden romance | supernatural | mythology | wc: 13k

a/n: inspired by New Jeans “Cool With You”. This has been marinating in the drafts for who-knows-how-long now. My brain can't shut up so here it is finally. Hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it. Do leave me some feedbacks or comments, it keeps me from sliding back to hiatus and descend down the writer's block hellhole lol.

© 2024 interlunium-opus. All rights reserved. Do not plagiarize, post or translate anywhere.

— i.

Figuratively and literally, Jake leaves trail of attraction and desire in his wake. As a messenger of love with unparalleled mental acuity and formidable archery skills, every arrow he draws from his quiver meet its target with unerring accuracy, ensnaring the unsuspecting victim with someone who is best matched, trapping them in a web of attraction and desires that would last the test of time. But it is not just his archery that captivates; Jake's ethereal presence, striking good looks, and flirtatious nature are a force of nature in their own right — captivating both humans and non-humans, leaving trails of attractions, desires and temptations in his wake.

He would have made the perfect Messenger of Love — one who is poised to go down in history. After all, the prevailing modern mindset which glorifies individualism and instant gratification has put lasting love in the backseat, making the job harder for the other Messengers of Love who could only strike attraction and lusts that lasts for one night. Hence, with every union that Jake successfully brought, he had become somewhat of a legend — someone with an innate, perhaps unlearnable, understanding of what makes love lasts.

Except, the truth is not as rosy. 

While beings like him are capable of feeling the emotions and desires that humans feel, Jake himself remains untouched by the all-consuming desires he sparks in others. His mental acuity helped him understood the mechanics of love — an intricate dance of personalities and the delicate balance of emotions — but the feeling itself eludes him. While he used to see it as a flaw when he was young, he now understood that it was this very detachment that grants him an edge in the field. Unburdened by personal biases or the clouding of intense emotions, Jake is able to navigate around with a clear and calculated mindset that allows him to dissect the intricacies of human nature, identifying the traits and compatibilities that foster enduring connections. 

Such mental acumen however, while providing him with a detached understanding, fails to bridge the gap between intellectual knowledge and the visceral experience of love’s consuming fire. In fact, despite all the flirtatious banter, sweet nothings and passionate touches he is capable of engaging and eliciting — his feelings remain only surface deep, that of attraction and lust which dissipates as soon as his conquests are bedded.

Perhaps it is exactly this lack of attachment that fuels his libertine tendencies — one that has been increasingly trangressed boundaries as he sought to not just bed his own kind but also humans, despite such liaisons being frowned upon. Perhaps the excitement and thrill of forbidden liasons is what he revelled in or perhaps, without him realising, he was seeking to fill in the void within himself which grows with each connection he forged.

Regardless. Tonight, was one of those days.

Assuming his human form — which is similar to his usual form except for the lip ring, gigantic wings and laurel wreath — he crashed into an after-party of a prestigious award ceremony, eyes immediately set on the apple of everyone’s eyes: the current IT girl of the industry whose looks could rival those from his realm. She was like a vision of ethereal beauty. Her doe-like eyes were large and expressive, capable of softening the hardest of hearts; her lips was full and luscious — both innocent and tantalizing — inviting unspoken desires; her slender frame, with its graceful lines and subtle curves, captured the essence of feminity, evoking not just attraction but a sense of protectiveness.

Jake smirked as his mind parsed her life history and pieced out the kind of person she was, finding his competitiveness instantly triggered the moment he learned of her iron-clad discipline and control when it comes to romance. As a young woman in a competitive industry that is still plagued with double standards against women, she knew her success stands at a precipice so despite all the love interests showered towards her over the years – she managed to stave them off, no matter how tempting. She had it all under control and she was poised for greater things given her diligence and discipline. 

But then she met Jake’s eyes and for the first time in her life, she felt her guards threatening to crack especially at the weight of Jake’s unflinching and seductive gaze throughout the night. Jake didn’t even need his poisoned arrows for he, himself, was almost like the poison that is laced over his arrow tips — the very object of desire for almost anyone he decides to charm. 

The next thing you knew, they were already locking lips in the hallway, the act of which quickly escalated as they moved to the van, hands absolutely glued to one another, roaming freely and wildly, before it all culminated in throes of passion that lasted for hours on her bed — a place she vowed never to bring a man over. Like the torn designers over the floor, all traces of controlled perfection she had masterfully maintained over the years crumbled under the weight of Jake’s intoxicating touch and seductive sweet-nothings. She was absolutely moonstruck and Jake did not even need his arrows for it.  

“You’re going to have to call in sick tomorrow if this goes on-” Jake mumbled in between the soft kisses that he trails down her neck as she whimpered his name again and again, delirious in pleasure while begging him not to ever let go, promising him absolutely everything — from her money to her career.

“Look at the industry sweetheart,” Jake cooed, eyes adoring what he had made out of her: a whimpering and clingy mess that is completely seized in desires and lust, “what would they say if they see you like this?”

She shook her head, breathing ragged from the umpteenth high she had raked with Jake, before pulling him into a hungry and messy kiss. “Love,” Jake mumbled in between kisses, saliva stretching between their lips, “you’re tired. It’s time to go to sleep.”

“You’re not going to leave me right?” she stared at him all bleary-eyed. Jake simply smiled, rubbing her cheeks softly as she tried hard to keep her lids open against the enchantments that Jake had justwhispered into her system, “this is all just a dream.”

And just like that, he would become a mere figment of a dream for her — just like all the other human he had bedded before. Sure, it was hypocritical of him to play around with them like that but he always reassured himself sickeningly that he wasn’t doing any harm by doing so. If anything he just gave yet another human a good time — a time they would never find in the touch of any other human. He also induced partial amnesia in them so that they would not go insane from longing for him. It’s a win-win, Jake thought to himself, smirking, as he pulled his suit over, fixing the placement of his lip ring with a flick of his tongue.

As he climbed out of the window ledge however, he heard the familiar sound of wings fluttering.

“Sooner or later, they’re going to catch on Jake.” Jake knew who it was immediately.

“Stalking me isn’t going to rake you scores Sunoo,” Jake scoffed as he turned around, meeting the eyes of the pale messenger who used to be his deskmate during his training days, “you’d be better off striking hearts instead. Your scores last quarter is dangerously low – you know you’d get demoted if you keep at it right?”

Sunoo swallowed thickly, “I can’t help it, love doesn’t last that long anymore these days. I can’t strike their hearts to one another knowing that it will only end in heartbreak.”

“That is exactly your flaw. You care far too much,” Jake sighed, “Come on, our threshold for successful matches is only in love that lasts for 5 years. Just keep that as a goal — ignore what happens within and beyond and you’re on your way to glory.”

“Not all relationship that lasts 5 years is love,” Sunoo’s voice hardened, eyes quivering as if trying to not believe the words that came out of Jake.

“Does it matter?” Jake shrugged, “love takes various forms. Innocent, tempestuous, scandalous, obsessive, toxic. Whatever happens, heartbreaks are part and parcel of life isn’t it? If it’s too much, we can always mend their heart by latching them onto another which then counts into our tallies and-“

“They’re not mere scores Jake. Hearts can break irreparably,” Sunoo interjected, brows twitching in what looked like a mixture of disbelief and disappointment, “you’ve changed.”

“As if you haven’t,” Jake winked as he slipped off the windowsill, his large wings fluttering open, keeping him afloat, “I know you’ve ventured down the Abyss to procure certain spells to alter your scores every quarter Sunoo,” Jake smirked, feeling triumphant at the hint of guilt evident on Sunoo’s gaze, “you’re not anymore moral nor ethical as I am. It's okay, we all got our vices. Just keep out of my affairs Sunoo and we’re cool.”

And just like that he disappeared, feeling re-energised from his night-long endeavour. In fact, he raked more scores than normal that day — the success of which was also aided by the fact that it was the first sunny day after weeks of torrential rain, bringing more people out and about, all in their Sunday best and in the brightest of moods, making it easier for his poisoned arrows to work its magic.

That was probably why you stuck out like a sore thumb to him when he was lingering at the traffic intersection for in the midst of people in bright and colourful get-up, with a delightful expression to match, you were decked in monochrome, with expressions so somber and eyes on your phone screen. When you finally looked up, your face contorted into a grimace, absolutely disgusted by the couple who was kissing in front of you.

The so-called Love cynics, Jake remembered a lesson back then, someone who is aversed to love. Could be Asexual, could be a product of trauma, could be just hardened by age and cynical outlook. They will be the hardest to bend but the biggest of catches. Jake’s hand was already reaching for another arrow in his quiver, his mind working hard in analysing your personality and trying to match it with dozen of other men within the vicinity — the perfect match of which he found in no time at the PhD student just across with whom you could share your intellectual interests with and with whom your more rational and logical tendencies could live in harmony with.

“Perfect,” Jake thought to himself as he directed his arrow in your direction, the strings taut in his fingers. Just 2 seconds after the light had turned green, Jake let his arrow go. That was an easy kill, Jake smirked triumphantly, confident that his calculations on timing, distance and strength, would have struck you precisely when the other guy would have come into your direct line of sight.

But then you suddenly ducked and all hell breaks loose for not only had Jake missed but his arrow struck the worst of targets: an expecting mother and, just across, a man who was on his way to his own wedding. It was a potential multiple breach of ethics that would have summoned him right to the Court Office.

“Fuck,” Jake cussed, blazing past the throng of crowd, scrambling for a lead-tipped arrow that is meant to reverse his magic, and stabbing it onto the woman just seconds away before she lurched towards the man.

“Can I help you?” the man asked, puzzled, as the lady who had stopped right in front of him with arms outstretched paused, looking dazed, before apologising. Jake exhaled sharply at the close call. Brushing his hair back in annoyance, he looked around, eyes frantically scanning for the you - the troublemaker - though by then you were long gone, swallowed by the bustling crowd.

“That’s a bit annoying,” Jake grumbled, shooting another arrow at someone else whom he quickly found a match for on the other side of the road. That union, he projected, would last at least 9 years but even that couldn’t quell the distaste he felt in his mouth after his near-miss – the distaste of which lasted almost all day despite the successes he raked.

And so that night, he stayed back in the human world during forbidden hours, finding you very easily through his network of friends. While you weren’t his first miss, you somehow continued to linger at the back of his mind, haunting him all day.

Sitting by your windowsill, he observed your every move as if you were a specimen to behold. He watched you get so engrossed in your report; watched you get annoyed by how your regressions didn’t come out the way you expected; watched in amusement at the way you’d accidentally dozed off, only to spring back to typing when you jolted awake.

“What are you so engrossed in?” Jake wondered out load as he floated inside, peeking over your shoulders, “Aww,” he cooed, “look at you, burning the midnight oil to finish up a policy paper to save the poor,” he sat onto the empty space on your table, next to your screen, “but who’s going to save you, you miserable poor loveless thing.”

“I could I guess,” he brought his knees up, hugging it close to his chest, “I do love a challenge,” he mumbled, chin resting on his knee as he watched you with a specific glint in his eyes, “I’ll make your first your last, how’s that?” 

It shouldn’t be hard, he thought, after all, there are 8 billion of people in this world. There are already about a hundred in your apartment building and a couple of hundreds more in your office block, and a couple hundred thousands more between your journeys. The probability is enormous, the possibility is endless, he smirked to himself as he lowered his face towards you, leaning in so as to whisper something in your ear, “you’ll thank me.”

Such optimism and excitement however quickly dissipated in the span of a few days as you somehow magically always evaded his golden arrows in time, causing him to have to use his expensive and hard-acquired lead-tipped arrows to reverse most of the effects. 

“You can’t see me right?” Jake floated in front of you, waving his hand maniacally before inching his face so close towards you as if trying to confirm whether or not you had a built-in radar for him.

As he parsed your history more, it became clearer just how difficult it would be to match you with anyone. Not only was your interest in a getting a partner or dating almost nil but you minimise any opportunities to find one as well: not engaging in social niceties beyond necessary; being oblivious to any interests towards your way; distancing yourself when you detect any hint of interest; and the list goes on. Indeed a ‘Love Cynic’ to the T.

The thing about hardened love cynics is that, while they are the biggest catch, they could also be your biggest downfall if you fail. This is because love cynics, once heartbroken, would feel despair and anguish like none other which just serves to fuel their skepticism and opposition to love afterwards – the result of which would burn holes in the records of any messengers who was in charge of them. Hence, they are always avoided especially by the average messengers.

But then again, Jake was not just your average messenger. He was amongst the best, rivalling some of his predecessors even with some scores made in turning love cynics around. So it was not all surprising just how obsessed he was with getting you a match.

One day, an opportunity came in a silver platter for him as the elevator you guys were in opened to a lad from IT, whose attraction for you was very evident from the way his face lit up, “y/n, it’s a been a while!”

“Well would you look at that,” Jake sung as he pulled an arrow from his quiver, grinning triumphantly. Jake did not even need to parse his mind to see the interest he had for you as it drips from his gaze to his voice. But as he looked back at you, who had shot the other guy the briefest of smile before whipping your phone up to mindlessly scroll your email, Jake’s grin immediately faltered. “You are seriously helpless y/n,” Jake sighed, looking almost as if he was in a trance as he inched closer, pressing the golden-tipped arrow against your back – the puncture of which would have struck your right through your heart, “your attitude needs fixing y/n or else you’ll never find someone—”

Jake was really just 3 seconds away from puncturing you when you recoiled. He initially thought you might have somehow felt the sharpness of his arrow but turned out the guy’s hand was just trailing languidly down your arm.

“Are you still angry about last time?” the man scoffed, the seemingly-warm smile fading almost immediately, “I told you last time, that night was a mistake. I was drunk and I tried to kiss you. That was it. I didnt even managed to do it since-“

“I don’t care about your reasons, you crossed the line,” you replied curtly, “and right now you are one step away from crossing another line. Remember what HR said last time? The next time it happens, they’re just one visit away and you’d immediately be out of the Ministry.”

His lips contorted into a wry grin, the annoyance becoming evident in his voice and face, “you must feel all high and mighty just because you’re in a more superior position than me,” he inched closer, looming ominously, “do you really want to know what true assaults are like-“

Almost too calmly, you hit one of the elevator buttons, its door opening just 3 floors before your destination as you turned your phone towards him, the screen showing a recording in progress, “show your face to me once again and this recording will get sent straight to a public forum. You won’t just be laid off here but this would burn holes in your record making it hard for you to find a new job.”

The man backed away finally, looking every bit flustered, “no wonder you’re still single, you’re a fucking witch-“

“And you’re just one fucking phone call away from being hauled off,” you interjected as you stepped out of the elevator despite it being 3 floor away from your destination. You hear him mutter curses loudly as you walked away. 

Jake was still open-mouthed as he trailed behind you, “that was,” he caught up, hands clapping, “pretty badass. I really thought I needed to step in for a second there but you,” he slipped through the closing door of the emergency staircase which you had just opened, “you were fearless. You were-“ he stopped short as he watched you stood immobile as soon as you entered the emergency stairwell. As if losing the strength in your knees, you leaned weakly against the door, head bowed down.  

Jake watched in confusion as you slid down, your breathing growing rapid, chest heaving, hands trembling as you muttered through gritted teeth, “get it together, y/n. It’s nothing.”

Jake knelt next to you, his mind delving into a specific parcel of memory from the night when you first met the guy earlier — the night when, under the pretense of drunkenness, had tried to corner you into an empty meeting room and tried to kiss you. “Shit,” Jake finally said, brows furrowing in a mixture of concern and guilt. Just moments ago, his competitiveness could have gotten you ensnared with the guy who almost assaulted you — the guy who had caused so much terror in you.

“I’m sorry,” he scooted closer now, feeling guilty. Now Jake may not be a saint nor would he call himself virtuous by any means but he was no devil either. As much as you grinds his gears with your aromantic and callous ways he would never match you with someone like that. 

He sunk beside you, forlorn, his hands ghosting your shoulders. He wanted to apologise but it's not like you could hear him anyway. He wanted to comfort you but his hands would just go through you. He felt oddly powerless. So instead, he stayed next to you in silence, straining his muscles so that his arms just ghost around your shoulders. When you finally calmed down, you leaned back against the door, exhaling sharply. 

Jake watched you intently, his gaze softening. “You know what,” he muttered quietly, “I’ll find you a really good guy — someone who will give you the world. Give you everything.”

For the first time in a while he didn’t see a mere tally to be crossed off the list. Instead he saw a person — a person who deserved the best and most purest form of love he was capable of finding. He rose up, his body curling over your back, leaning down to whisper a promise in your ear, “I give you my word.”

— ii.

Days turned to months and still Jake Sim could not find a match for you. Except this time, the fault lay mostly in him for he could not find anyone good enough for you. They are always lacking or excessive in something and he didn’t want to risk it falling apart. 

Not for you at least. 

And so in between entwining others’ hearts, he would linger around you, following you closely wherever you go, whatever you do. Like a specimen to behold, he watches your every movement and ponder over it up to the point that he remembers your habits and quirks like the back of his hand: how you like your coffee; how salty you like your food to be; the detours you take; your music tastes; the changes in your jogging routes; when you will get cold; when you’d start getting bored of something; and so on.

Eventually, it all fell into a routine. As you settle into your home, he settles with you – as if he belonged there. As you try things out and push boundaries, Jake was also always around, cheering you on – as if his morale support counts. As you considered your choices such as during shopping or working, Jake would share his thoughts and opinions about it to you as well – as if you could even hear him. 

Soon he begun to fill in the silences with you, telling you of his day; the matches he made; the realm he is from; his past and so on – venting on and on, as if you could hear him. 

And whenever you retire to bed at night, he no longer takes it as his cue to return to his realm. Instead he settled right next to you — watching you over like a Guardian Angel.

At least that’s what he deluded himself of until his eyes begun to wander farther each nights, pulling his mind deeper into the recesses of which he never ventured to before with you. It started slow, from eyes wandering, tracing the outlines of your face and body; to gaze lingering at your lips and your exposed skin, heartbeat racing as he wondered how they would feel under his. Soon he would find his hands balling into fists, fighting an invisible battle between desire and duty. Still he could never tear his gaze away from you.

The true test however came one night when you suddenly rolled over to his side, your face perfectly aligned with the crook of his neck and your hand perfectly landing to where his hand was. While this was nothing major compared to whatever he had gotten up to in the sheets, it sent his heart racing like none other. Almost automatically, he brought his hand up to your face, ghosting the outlines of your jaw, pausing by your chin as his gaze become fixated on your lips which was plush and parted slightly — so innocent yet so tantalizing and inviting. 

Desires begin to muddle his mind, self-control cascading as he transformed himself to his human form. The space he occupied sinking instantly with his weight, causing you to stir in your sleep. Alarmed, Jake immediately hovered over you, his hand gently covering your eyes as he whispered words laced with enchantments in your ears, “it’s all just a dream love.”

He slowly slid his hand down your face, thumbs caressing your cheek softly as he watched how your brows furrow as your instinct and will to wake up warred with his enchantments. Jake leaned down, planting soft kisses on your neck, “go back to sleep.”

Finally you eased up, gradually laying limp in his embrace. Jake smiled softly at the sight, that was close. He should have pulled away then but as if there was a magnetic pull, Jake could not tear himself from you nor did he want to. As if his senses were on overdrive, he could feel everything amplified. The way your body was perfectly dwarfed under his larger frame was evoking something primal and protective within him. The warmth emanating from your body was warming his own, enveloping him, making his skin tingle in anticipation. The scent of your hair and the lingering fragrance of your soap — a mélange of florals and greens — enticing him, intoxicating him to draw closer.  

His fingers begin to trail down, tracing patterns along your jaw, down your neck, to your collarbones. Your skin was soft and smooth and he marvelled at the sensation of it all against his fingertips. Every touch sent jolts of electricity through his body, igniting a fire within him that threatened to consume him whole.

Eventually his eyes returned back to your lips — these damned lips, he thought as the pad of his thumb brush softly over your lower lip, watching the soft flesh softening and bending under the subtle pressure of his fingertips before springing back to its plush and supple form, plunging his mind to treacherous depths where he envisions that it was his lips doing the undoing, mouth devouring yours, tasting the sweetness that he knew could be savoured on his tongue.

That was when something snapped and the next thing he knew, he had lowered his mouth to yours, gently pressing his lips against yours, intoxicated by the softness of your lips and the warmth which was enveloping him whole.

That should have been it. He should have pulled away then. After all, he just wanted a taste. But the more tasted, the more he craved and soon he found himself claiming your lips in a fierce, hungry kiss. As your lips parted under his insistence, his tongue plunged deep inside your mouth, as if seeking to devour you whole. You tasted like honey and sin and Jake just couldn’t get enough, yearning for more.

Desperate for more contact, his hand was already gripping your clothes, tugging it down, resulting in a slight tear – the sound of which knocked him back to his senses. He pulled away, breathing ragged, startled by the state he had reduced you to. Your hair was slightly disheveled, lips swollen, and shirt hung loosely off one shoulder, exposing a bruise that was blooming on your collarbone – physical manifestations of the intensity of his desires. Guilt seized him as he realised the extent of his actions and almost immediately, he backed away from you, recognising the depths of depravity he was capable of reaching. With self-control hanging by a thread, he knew he would lose all forms of control if he stayed any longer so with a heavy heart and mind still reeling from conflicting emotions, Jake teleported himself back to his realm.

You jolted awake not long after, your heart pounding in your chest as you sat up in alarm. It must have been another nightmare, you thought, trying to shake off the lingering sensations of paralysis that still clung to your body. With a dismissive shake of your head, you laid back down, your lips feeling strangely sore and dry. As you licked your lips, your eyes flickered open, tasting something metallic on your tongue. Curious, you brought your fingers to your lips, probing the spot that throbbed. To your surprise, your fingers came away smeared with blood.

— iii.

Back in his realm, Jake wasted no time in seducing a couple of others, spending the rest of the night in a blur of ecstasy in a bid to distract and numb himself with pleasures. Perhaps, the temporary pause in his libertine pursuits had led such desires to fester dangerously, he thought.

Except when he woke up the next day, you still bore at the back of his mind. Almost as if scalded, he could still feel the warmth of your skin in his hand, the softness of your lips on his lips. Worse, he yearns for it – yearns to feel more.

Something was going wrong, he thought to himself as he lingered around the market just outside of the apartment where he had spent the night at. Eager and desperate for a distraction he wandered further, letting himself be lost in the hustle and bustle of the morning crowd, looking aimlessly at the selection of fruits and flowers being sold.

As he passed by one of the exits however, he caught a glimpse of an archway materializing at a desolated corner, dark and thorny vines crawling out from within as if calling him. He had passed by this corner of the street a billion times before but he swore he had never seen the archway.

He called upon one of the boys playing nearby, “Hey, is that like the entrance to a new market or something?”

The boy squinted to where he was pointing but only looked back at Jake weirdly, “what do you mean? What archway? It’s just the unsightly brick wall-“

“There,” Jake pointed again, adamant, “the alley-“

“Sir, you’re either trying to scare me or you need your eyes checked because I’m seeing nothing but a dead-end,” the boy grimaced, shaking his head as he rejoined his friends in the crowd.

“What an insolent bast-“ he stopped short, looking back at the alley, the vines getting longer and longer. He suddenly realised what it was and why no one was seeing it. The Abyss, he muttered to himself, recalling all the tales he was told during his schooling years about a portal to another dimension – a dimension that is akin to a black market, having absolutely anything one could ever desire especially the most forbidden and illicit of desires. Hence why entering the realm has been forbidden, especially to those like Jake who hold official positions and is considered amongst the most noble and elite of beings.

But curiosity got the best of him. After all, the Abyss cannot be sought for it seeks on its own instead. In fact, rumours has it that only those with dark desires could open up the portal and Jake was confident that he had none of that. After all, he has absolutely everything anyone covets: good looks; wealth; reputation and glory. If he wanted he could get promoted; get the hottest girl in town; get the most lavish manor in the realm; and so on. Feeling haughty, Jake pulled his cloak over his head, slipping past the crowd towards the archway, "let's see what you think you can offer me then."

To Jake's disappointment, nothing had materialised so far no matter how deep he ventured. It was just an misty alley with faint cacophony of noises like murmurs, bells, and chatters. Jake scoffed, see, he thought to himself, no dark desires.

When he turned around to go back however, his grin faltered as the alley now disappeared, replaced by a literal abyss.

“Everyone has dark desires young man.”

Jake jumped, startled. Behind him was an decrepit old man, face hardened with wrinkles, “you’re not the only Elite who has walked these paths,” he grinned lopsidedly, “I can assure you they all thought the same way you did. Head held high, face grimacing in contempt as if they had just walked into muck. But in the end, they were always the ones who went so far as to trade their powers and long life – always the one ended up becoming the most wicked. Exactly the ones tragedies are made about.”

Jake swallowed thickly. He can see shadows forming behind the man, making the outlines of a mass of people congregating as if he was an exhibit. The muffled sounds now growing louder – almost like a bedlam. “Nothing is materializing though,” Jake managed, trying to cover the fear that was brewing within.

“Young man,” the elderly scoffed, “you being able to open up the Abyss alone is a feat no ordinary goodie can do.”

Suddenly a gust of wind hit him, causing Jake to cover his face with his cloak. By the time he pulled his hand away, he was back in the market – right where the arch was – except this time, there was no arch. Like the boy from earlier said, it was a dead end. There was a sudden ringing in his ear, causing him to double down, before everything quietened almost too deafeningly.

Come again once you know what is it that your heart truly desires boy.

Jake spun around, alert. But the old man was nowhere to be found.

— iv.

Troubled and unsettled, Jake went back to the human realm to find you. You had, after all, became his own little solace – like a home to return to. Even if you couldn’t see, hear nor feel him — all he needed was you close by. 

Except just when he needed you the most, he couldn’t find you. You weren’t anywhere you were supposed to be nor anywhere you could be. This would not have alarmed him so had he not also been able to sense you.

Fuck, he panicked, wings almost set ablaze as he rushed from one place to another at impossible speed. There could only be one reason as to why he could not sense someone he had 'targeted': the target had been struck by others.

“No no no no no,” he muttered in disbelief, chest heaving in panic. Jake never lose control nor composure but right now, he was spiralling. Gone was his pride by the time he appeared by Sunoo’s doorstep, dishevelled and manic, spitting out his version of events.

“You weren’t supposed to go down the Abyss!” Sunoo chastised him the moment Jake told him about it, “you know just venturing there robs you of your power – albeit momentarily.”

“Is that what this is?” Jake paced back and forth, “must be right? that I can't sense her simply because of whatever curse the Abyss had put on me?” He grasped Sunoo by the shoulders, eyes wild with fear, “–not because she has been struck?”

“Jake–“ Sunoo croaked, caught off guard by Jake’s sudden outburst and outpour of emotions, “–just, please calm down first. Since everything seems fine to you, it’s possible your loss of detection is the momentary punishment for going down the Abyss but... we can’t also be sure that she has not been struck yet.”

Jake knows that very well. Except, he didn’t expect that the loss would have impacted him this greatly. It was true what they say then. That the Abyss is so wretched and cursed, just venturing down will rob you of something that is very valuable to you. He never considered it before, thinking that losing his ability momentarily would probably do him good – giving him the respite he so badly needed after working so hard. Little did he know, it struck him exactly where it hurts.

“When will it come back?”

“If it’s your first time down there, probably a night. But the more you go, the longer the effects last,” Sunoo sighed, “Just wait until tomor-“

“I can’t fucking wait until tomorrow,” Jake bellowed, infuriated, before sinking onto a nearby couch, head buried in his hands as he tried to calm himself down. Sunoo sighed. It was the first time he saw Jake so wrecked, it almost pained him. "The Royal Scotts Rooftop," Sunoo muttered quietly, guilt evident in his voice, "I followed the girl earlier, hoping to find you. When you weren't around, I thought maybe you've lost interest- that'd be good-" he paused, "but I guess, you've never lost it."

Jake rose up immediately, he wanted to berate Sunoo for not telling him sooner but at that time nothing could top his desire and urgency to find you so before Sunoo could even finish, Jake had taken off.

— v.

Despite the sea of people on the rooftop of the 5-Star hotel, he could immediately spot you.

His face immediately lit up, materializing behind you within seconds. “I’ve searched everywhere for you,” he sighed, gaze softening, before suddenly feeling a hand go through him towards you. He turned around, seeing that the hand belonged to a well-dressed man with ‘Jay’ on his name tag – a consultant from another company who had worked with you on a project a year ago, “the confettis,” Jay mumbled, inching unnecessarily close – at least by Jake’s standards – towards you to try and ruffle some from your hair.

“Oh thanks,” you reached over to your hair, trying to take them out yourself, before breaking into laughter over the fact that Jay had a lot of glitter in his, “dude – you’re worse-“

Within seconds Jake had already parsed Jay’s character and his history – finding that, despite the clash of characters, Jay would be good for you. He was very giving, affectionate, and selfless – something you, Jake thought, definitely deserve. Jay definitely is the best match out of all the potential matches so far, Jake thought to himself.

This should have been enough for him to rejoice at, for him to start reaching for the arrow in his quiver. After all, it’s rare to see you interact socially with men and have a good time with them — even rarer to find that particular man to be one of the best match he had come across for you. Sure, you two had really strong characters that would square the other at times but Jay would ultimately always be willing to break himself for you and give you the world. 

Had you been any other person, Jake would have already struck you both in seconds, latching you both together. But peculiarly, his mind was working on overdrive finding 1001 reasons not to instead. “Come to think about it,” Jake reasoned, feeling irked by the second, “this man is too affectionate and too selfless. You wouldn’t want someone like that right?” he materialised behind you, whispering in your ear as if you could hear him.

When you excused yourself to get some refreshments, Jake continued trailing behind you, ranting on and on as if trying to justify his actions. Or lack thereof, “I mean, eventually people like those will just bog you down,” he overtook you, stopping right in front of you, gesticulating wildly, “the kind that will make you stay out of guilt – make you second guess your own personality and character. I can see it happen y/n.”

He could see then that a tall guy near the podium was staring right at you — the interest and attraction evident in his eyes. “Heeseung-“ Jake read the name on his tag, his mind already parsing through him, seeing that Heeseung was one of the senior officers in the department just across of yours to whom you had always held high regard of. Him to you too. Again, this would have been a perfect match. Unlike Jay earlier, his personality and character would hardly ever square yours. He’d always relent to your choices and your ways, letting you call the shots. 

You caught a glimpse of Heeseung, giving a quick nod of acknowledgement and almost immediately Jake blocked your view, as if it even does anything, “not him either y/n,” he argued defensively, “he’s a hopeless romantic. You’d get sick of him in the long run.”

Just next to Heeseung is another guy who also by then kept throwing glances at you. Ni-Ki, an intern who was under your tutelage just a year ago but has since then moved on to other department. Jake grimaced as he parsed through the young lad’s memory, “definitely not him. Too young, still childish.”

Eventually, you turned away from the crowd, and looked out at the street below, your mind reeling from all the socialising you’ve had to do earlier. As your mind wandered, you find yourself becoming increasingly lost in your own thoughts, unaware of the intense gaze fixed upon you. “No one here is deserving of you y/n,” Jake murmured softly as he leaned sideways against the baluster, his eyes transfixed on your profile. 

As if spellbound, Jake studied your features as if you were a work of art. His eyes traced the delicate lines of your face, the curve of your cheek, the gentle slope of your nose, and the soft fullness of your lips. He inched closer, drawn to you like a moth to a flame, until he was so near that you could have felt his breath on your skin, had he been tangible.

And then, in a sudden twist, you turned your head abruptly in his direction, your eyes locking with his in direct precision almost as if you could sense his presence and see beyond the veil of invisibility that cloaked him. He watched, completely paralysed, as your brow twitched ever so subtly, hand raised close towards where his cheek were as if you could really perceive him. Jake’s breath hitched — enchanted — as he gently angled his face towards your palm, slowly resting his cheek against your hand, imagining the warmth of your touch, the softness of your skin. 

Lulled by the possibility, Jake's throat tightened, bringing his invisible hand up to yours, ghosting over it as if cupping it — yearning for the connection to be tangible, for you to see him, to feel the touch that he so desperately wanted to give.

He still have not fully understood the swirl of emotions and feelings he harboured for you but in that moment — when it felt like there was only you two in this world — he knew he wanted this. You for him, and him for you. 

He wanted to freeze time, to prolong this moment of connection that felt so right, but a voice broke through the intimate silence, shattering the fragile bubble he had created.

“You haven’t changed a bit-“

Jake felt a large hand pass through his, taking hold of yours, and his heart constricted with a pang of longing. The hand he had wanted to grasp, to hold, was now in the possession of another man — a tall and pale senior coworker who was supposed to still be on an overseas posting. Jake's breath hitched as he looked up and witnessed the smile on your face, a smile that he had never seen directed at anyone else. 

"Sunghoon?" your voice lit up with surprise and delight, and Jake felt a stab of jealousy at the warmth in your tone, "I thought you won’t be back for another two years!”

Jake stepped back, his invisible form fading into the shadows as he witnessed the reunion between you and Sunghoon. The hand he had longed to hold was now entwined with someone else's, and the smile he had wanted to claim for himself was shining for another. The warmth, familiarity and endearment between you and the man was so evident that it begun to stir something unfamiliar within Jake — a mix of protectiveness and longing that he couldn't quite name.

“Thought life here was much better so I sped the contract up,” Sunghoon shrugged haughtily.

“I bet it's because I wasn’t there,” you joked, trying to match his playful haughtiness. Usually Sunghoon would have replied with something equally as smug but somehow, something has changed and you could feel it in the way his eyes bore into yours and the way his hand had tightened over yours, lingering purposefully far too long for it to be casual. “Exactly,” he answered almost too genuinely you find yourself at a loss for words so you do what you do best — feign nonchalance, “oh bugger off,” you playfully yank your hand away, “What have America done to you!”

He grinned mischievously, “well, you know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

You shook your head dismissively though the smile that has never left your lips and the way your eyes never broke his conveyed more than words could ever.

“Can I get a hug now? You never visited like you promised you would,” he extended his hands, brows wriggling playfully.

“I never made such promises but fine-“ you shrugged, trying to feign nonchalance, as you let him draw you nearer, let him engulf you in his large frame. You have hugged him before but this time, this too, felt different. “I’ve missed you y/n,” you feel him bend lower so he could bury his head in the crook of your neck and you feel his hand slide over your waist almost too intimately for it to just be a friendly hug. 

This time however you didn’t feign nonchalance, deflect nor playfully reject him. Instead you let yourself sink fully into the warmth of his embrace, your hands reaching up to hug him back as your head leaned against his chest, eyes shut as you murmured softly, “me too.”

Jake had never seen a more perfect pair. Sure you two had your differences but together, you guys complement each other seamlessly like two puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together. Your strengths balanced each other''s weaknesses, and your personalities would harmonize in a beautiful and enviable symphony of love and understanding.

Now would have been perfect, Jake found his rational self thinking, his hand automatically reaching for a golden arrow from his quiver. But instead of nocking the arrow and releasing it toward its intended target, he found himself hesitating, his knuckles turning white from the force of his grip.

In a surprising twist, Jake turned the arrow on himself, driving it into his own chest, directly over his heart. Immediately, the arrow exploded into a shower of glittering dust, as was its nature. Although the arrow had no physical effect on beings like him, with the way his interest and attention on you has dangerously warped with a mix of attraction, desire, and lust — he might as well have been shot with one. 

How peculiar, he thought. He had always wondered how does such intense love which human shared with one another feel and yet now that he felt it rising from within, all he felt was bitterness rather than joy. 

The glittering dust that lingered in the air seemed to mock Jake, serving as a tangible reminder of the complex emotions swirling within him — emotions of which was increasingly blurring the lines between duty and desire. While usually symbolising some sort of celebration, the glittering particles which was still dancing around him now felt like a warning, a sign that his path was veering into uncharted and potentially dangerous territory.

He knew then, perhaps a little too late, that he wanted you. Wanted you for himself.

— vi.

Since then gone was the desire within him to match you with anyone. In fact, gone was his desire to match anyone at all as he becomes increasingly preoccupied with you — more specifically, his desires for you.

He had begun to take on human forms longer than usual, trying to get your attention, trying to slip himself into the fabric of your life. But the task, which usually had been easy for him, was difficult this time because apparently his face and charms weren’t enough.

Having observed you for a long time he knew that blatant attention and attraction would put you off so he made sure to lay and play each parts carefully and strategically, making it seem as if everything was coincidental.

“Hi, I believe this is yours?” You asked innocently when Jake opened his door. In your hand was a parcel which had his name and address but somehow wrongly delivered at your doorstep.

Finally, Jake thought to himself, his heart almost leaping out of his ribcage. He had been waiting impatiently the whole day for you after having paid someone to deliver the package wrongly at your doorstep.

Almost effortlessly he feigned surprise and confusion, “right, sorry about that, I’m new in this apartment block so maybe there's a mix-up," he shrugged, careful to not look overeager, "been waiting for this limited copy of 1984 to arrive, thank goodness it got wrongly delivered in the right hands otherwise it would probably get resold in ebay or something—"

“1984?” Your face lit up. Of course my dear, it’s one of your favourite books isn’t it, Jake answered in his mind. Oblivious to the glint in his eyes and the subtle twitch of his lips, you continued excitedly, “I rarely see anyone around me read 1984!”

“Now you do,” he said charmingly as he offered his hand, satisfied at the way you have eased up, “my name is Jake. Jake Sim. I’ve just moved.”

“Oh I’m y/n,” you introduced, “I live in the apartment right under yours.”

I know, he muttered to himself in his mind, “thank you for this y/n. I’ll see you around.”

You nodded enthusiastically, oblivious to the way his words seemingly had double meaning.

The next few weeks Jake busied him by encroaching your life ever so subtly and strategically. You bumped into him in the same aisle at the bookstore and ended up chatting in a nearby coffee about your favourite books which somehow is similar to his. You bumped into him at dawn just outside your apartment complex before you go on your run, he himself was warming up for his, and that ended up with you two going on a run together.

Eventually you two became closer than mere neighbours that he could somehow orchestrate to get himself inside your place, “sorry about that-“ he apologised, coming out of your shower with the robe draping loosely and casually over his shoulders, making a poor effort of covering his chiseled chest and abs. 

While Jake was indeed very good-looking, you’ve always thought something about his looks seems so ethereal. But now, shed of all the sleek suits and tidy hair, he looks humanely good-looking and you found yourself almost stuttering in surprise when he got out.

“You should report it to the Head Office tomorrow," you averted your eyes towards the kettle in your kitchen, "I mean it's an expensive penthouse, how can the hot water be broken so soon? must be shoddy construction job or lack of maintenance."

“Burning the midnight oil?” He asked, leisurely leaning against the counter as he dried his hair.

“Yeah,” you sighed, pouring it into the flask where you had already added some coffee grounds and sugar. You felt the weight of his stare and out of pure courtesy, offered him as well, “oh, would you like–" you hesitated, "maybe not right? It’s almost 12.”

“Actually, yeah, that would be great,” he smiled, eyes boring into yours with an intensity that felt almost spellbinding. While Jake wanted nothing more than to bridge the physical gap in between you and him, and take your lips right there and then, he knew better than to submit to his desires this early. With others, it might have worked but with you he definitely had to take it slow. It pained him but like a prized conquest — he was willing to go through it.

Except regardless of how well-crafted his plans were, nothing could outpace what is really written. While he struggled to escalate the friendship he had built with you, Sunghoon had gotten closer and closer to you. 

When you did not come home one night, Jake re-assumed his non-human form, immediately locating you back in your office where you were burning the midnight oil with Sunghoon. 

Jake feels his anger simmering as he watched how Sunghoon latched onto you, following you wherever you go. He watched in frustration as Sunghoon hands hover close to you, as if being territorial; how his hands would even sometimes linger over yours more than necessary.

But it was the sight of you seemingly reciprocating him that was the most painful to bear: the way you let his hand lingered; the way you held his gaze instead of staring away; the way you never shifted as he drew nearer. 

The next thing he knew, Sunghoon had closed the distance between you and him, his lips gently pressing against yours, his hand snaking up your back to hold you ever closer. Jake was mortified. When you pulled away not long after, seeking a moment to catch your breath, Jake was sure then that you would have shoved Sunghoon off, perhaps even slap him for his boldness. But nothing of that sort happened for when Sunghoon re-attached his lips to yours, you didn’t resist, surrendering to the sensations he elicited, letting him devour you as you melt slowly into his embrace and touch.

Jake could feel the fury consuming him as he trudged up behind you, stabbing you with a lead-tipped arrow which would have sowed seeds of dislike for the other person but to his surprise, the arrow dissolved into dust the moment he stabbed it onto your back – telltale signs that the arrow will not work on you and nor Sunghoon.

That was when Jake knew that you were already written for Sunghoon and when that happens, nothing can usually be done because messengers are just really lower spiritual beings. That should have been Jake’s cue to give up but instead, it became a tipping point of when it all started going awry.

As his feelings festered in the worse of ways, he became more relentless and persistent in his pursuit of you. Except any small space he could have slithered himself ‘coincidentally’ into was becoming narrower as it becomes increasingly filled by Sunghoon. Soon it was Sunghoon who accompanied you running; Sunghoon who ate lunch with you; Sunghoon who accompanied you at bookstores; Sunghoon who sent you home; Sunghoon who stayed in your place until late.

There was absolutely no space for Jake anymore.

“Yes?” Sunghoon answered your apartment door one evening, not even bothering to conceal the distaste he felt within to see Jake at the door.

“Is y/n in?” Jake asked shamelessly.

Sunghoon shook his head, “she’s in the shower.”

There was an almost casual and domestic vibe to which Sunghoon was answering that question and Jake did not like it one bit. "There was a party at my workplace earlier," Jake passed on the box of cake and bouquet of flowers to him, "thought I'd share."

"Roses?" Sunghoon raised his brows, "She actually doesn't like roses. While she does like flowers, she actually doesn't like receiving them". Jake had to muster an insurmountable amount of energy not to let Sunghoon's words affect him even when he can clearly feel the venom laced in every words, "Oh and cake?" Sunghoon went on, "don't bother, she just like a spoonful or two, not the whole box."

You bastard, Jake muttered in his mind, wanting nothing more but to punch Sunghoon squarely in the face. More than that, he hated how Sunghoon knew the nuances of your likes and dislikes, making anything that Jake knew felt surface-level. If Jake knew your favourite colour, Sunghoon would probably know the exact shade of it; if Jake knew your favourite book, Sunghoon could probably cite your favourite quotes from it; if Jake knew you couldn't handle the cold, Sunghoon would probably know the precise timing of when to turn the heater on and off like an automatic thermostat. It was a sickening testament to the history and nature of your relationship with Sunghoon – of how far and deep it goes, the gap of which Jake could probably never bridge.

But Jake knows the subject of love well. With a mastery over the mechanics of love, he therefore knows exactly where the weakest links could be; where doubts and concerns can be sowed over time to topple the whole structure. In between you and Sunghoon, Jake knew your aloofness and romantically-inept nature can be a problem in the long-run with Sunghoon's possessive tendencies and predisposition towards jealousy. So Jake wanted to capitalize that.

"I mean, I just wanted to also thank her for the other night," Jake emphasized, noticing the way Sunghoon's jaw was already tensing, "when she let me shower at her place. It was so late but she was such an angel."

Jake could see the way in which the poison in his words worked it way through Sunghoon's system from the subtle ways in which Sunghoon's brows twitched and the way his jaw ticked though he tried to mask it with a diplomatic grin, "she has always been such an angel to the point of not sensing the ulterior motives in others," Sunghoon remarked with a hint of diplomatic sarcasm, "I'll make sure to pass the message. Next time it happens, let me know instead, I'll send a plumber right to your doorstep."

With that, the door closed and Jake's grin widened in triumph as he walked away, certain to have sowed instrumental doubts between you two. Except, as he lingered around the common area of your apartment floor, Sunghoon showed no signs of leaving. When 2 hours passed, he got even more agitated, impatience taking hold. It almost felt as if he was the one that has been toppled out of control. Jake had to do something though knocking at your door again is probably not the best idea.

So Jake transformed back to his non-human form – the ability of which was diminishing as days passed, the result of slacking in his duties and staying too long in his human form.

When Jake slipped inside your apartment, he could feel the dread rising, seeing the hallway too dimly-lit. “y/n,” he sighed in relief as he entered the living room and see you seated at the couch but soon the smile faltered as Sunghoon, who was beside you, leaned in and pressed his lips against yours – kissing you softly and tenderly. It was all cute and lighthearted – something Jake would have rejoiced seeing had it been any other person. But this was not just any other person. It was you. His you.

His hand gradually balled into a fist as he watched Sunghoon curled his hand over your nape, seizing you in place as he leaned in further to deepen the kiss. As the moment lingered, there was a palpable shift in the air – the sizzling tension of which was only mirrored in the way the kiss was escalating beyond it ever has with Sunghoon’s passion and desire growing more intense by the second as if he had been struck by countless of golden arrows.

Jake’s gaze hardened and as if possessed, he took out countless of lead-tipped arrows, stabbing it onto Sunghoon’s back in a desperate effort to stop him – only for each arrow to dissolve into black dusts – leaving Jake with no choice but to watch the horror unfold before him.

“Stop,” Jake croaked, hoping that you would pull away, that you would resist. But you didn’t. Instead Sunghoon’s body surged forward with urgency, forcing you to lean back onto the couch, his lips still glued onto yours. His movements were almost territorial now as he caged you in, his figure dwarfing yours completely while his hands rove possessively down your waist and up your back, tracing every curve and contour of your form, causing shiver to run down your spine.

Breathless, you pulled away, eyes locked into each other, breathing ragged, hearts racing wildly — the air almost catching fire from the sizzling tension. Sunghoon’s gaze, usually soft and doe-like, had darkened with raw passion and desire. Without anymore pretense nor hesitation, he plunged back in, crushing his lips down upon yours with fierce hunger, leaving you reeling from the force of his kiss. 

In a clear display of dominance and possession, Sunghoon pressed himself firmly against you, his lips parting yours, tongue slithering in to delve deeper, devouring you whole. It was clear then that this wasn’t just a simple kiss anymore. Jake knew exactly where it was all heading. 

And yet Jake was powerless to stop it.

— vii.

Jake re-entered the Abyss easily now for this was his 4th time. The 2nd was when he converted almost all of his riches for human money just so he can buy his disguises and play pretend in the human world. After all, the designers he wear and the penthouse above yours cost a fortune. The 3rd was when he bought more energy so he can stay longer in his human form. 

By now, the Abyss was no longer just a hazy dark alley of market with only one or two sellers visible. As Jake begin to understand and embrace all the dark desires he harboured for you, the place was now teeming with sellers.

It was true what the old man had said then, that the Abyss only reveals itself and the fullness of its world when you acknowledge your dark desires. In fact, the sellers that he can see are those who sell anything related to love and hate – as if the Abyss perfectly curates what you can see according to what your heart desires.

Jake marched to the corner where potions are being sold, the lady materialising out of nowhere, slithering in and out of the colourful fumes like a serpent. He reached for a ‘love potion’ — a bubbling concoction in deep red, “I want this but the strongest one. Get me the strongest hate potion too.”

“Gladly,” the seller cackled when suddenly the old man from the other day appeared behind Jake, “a messenger of love buying a love potion – do you, yourself, not see the irony in that young boy?”

Jake glowered at the man.

The man continued, “if someone like you can’t change her feelings, what makes you think potions can?”

Jake balled his fist, “tell me what to do then,” he lurched at the man, crumpling his collar, “you said this place has everything I could want, tell me where I could go then- who I should find- what I should buy-"

“What you want,” the man smirked, his eyes a pool of darkness, “carries a hefty price beyond all the wealth you’ve amassed.”

“Anything-“ Jake pleaded, memories of earlier replaying in his mind like a broken record, “I want her.”

Suddenly with a snap of a finger, Jake found himself transported into what looked like an underground cistern. Everywhere he looked were stretches of gigantic columns, dimly illuminated by an eerie red glow. 

Jake almost jumped, startled, when he turned around to see the old man sneering, his face contorting oddly. "The Netherworld?" Jake asked almost spitefully, "you've brought me to the Netherworld?"

“Get off your high horse young man,” he brushed past Jake, “entering the Abyss was one thing but being able to follow me into the Netherworld is another. You remember all the cautionary tales don’t you? It takes a very corrupted heart for a being like you to break through the veil and enter here-“

Jake watched the man descend down the stairs, alarmed when he saw his shadows bearing horns. When his eyes snapped back up the old man had turned into someone younger and taller — more than 2 ft — with horns curving out of his head and robes that seemed to be made entirely of black smoke, “what? you didn’t think I was an Angel did you?”

Jake took a step back, “you must be out of your mind to think that I would want to work with you, a wretched Evil Spirit of some sort?”

“You say that as if you’re spitting venom and yet the desires you have are just as wretched,” the man cackled, the shadows behind him growing imposingly large, “face it, their fates are written to be intertwined, how else do you expect to win her then? Parade as human? For how long exactly? You know you cannot overstay in the human world.”

“I saw a spell for partial mortality earlier,” Jake reasoned, startled when the man suddenly reappeared behind him, his long bony fingers gripping Jake’s shoulders, immobilising him from any attempts to run away, “right, at the cost of what Jake? Half of your wings? Entertain me then, how does mortality make you any more attractive to her.”

Jake opened his mouth, ready to answer but found no argument left. He heard the demon scoffing, his slender fingers brushing over Jake’s large wings which had by then turned a weird shade of grey from its original pristine white — symbolising the gradual corruption that had took hold, “in fact all of your converted riches would soon be used up before you can even get an ounce of additional interest from her. She is after all written for him.”

The demon snapped his fingers, reflecting you and Sunghoon at your most intimate moments on a dark pool nearby. It was a picture he had often been fantasising as of late except, the man that was taking you right now wasn't him. Consumed in fury — the emotion of which seemed to have amplified now that he was in the Netherworld — Jake shot his arrow against the reflection, the ripples causing the images to disappear. 

“Ooo, calm down lover boy,” the demon cooed, feigning fear by backing away, “I didn’t just plunge you down the murkiest of depths just to taunt you”.

“Then what?” Jake’s chest heaved in anger.

The demon smirked, suddenly looming larger than life, “there is possibly another way for you-“

“Spit it.”

“Take her away,” the demon suggested almost too lightheartedly, “bring her to this other plane. It's the only way you can fortify against the string that connects them. Wipe her memory clean, keep her preoccupied and just like that, she is all yours."

“But humans shouldn’t live in our realm.”

“Shouldn’t not can’t,” the demon corrected, “though no sooner than you can make love to her will you have the guards on your doorstep, sentencing you to death for breaking laws and ethics.”

Jake’s brows furrowed, "you call that a solution?"

The demon floated towards him, stooping to Jake's height as if wanting to appear as an ally now, "of course not, I'm just laying out all the options for you because I want to make sure that the choices you make are informed."

Jake's brows furrowed, patience wearing thin, "stop with the dramatics. You're a fucking demon, you will never make a deal that would be of the best interest for the other party."

"Well, I can shelter you both in this domain," he gesticulated wildly, "it's the only place that the guards don't venture into." The demon's grin widened as he watched the muscles in Jake's face easing, "told you I am on your side."

Visions of you in Jake's arms swirled in his mind. If he brings you here then indeed nothing else could come in between. Not Sunghoon, not anyone. There would just be him for you and you for him. Jake exhaled sharply, “what’s the catch?”

“Good boy,” the demon cackled, a throne materialising behind him and he sunk on it, “just work for me.”

Jake watched him in confusion as he looked around, wondering what would he need an extra hand for. The demon continued, “your arrows,” he motioned and suddenly his golden arrows turned black, trail of black smoke emanating from it, “use it to sow hatred and chaos. One strike on someone and his darkest desires would amplify to the point of action.”

“You-“ Jake swallowed thickly, the fables of when he was young ringing deafeningly in his head. He had heard of so many tragedies during his lifetime but he didn’t know he’d end up as the very man people cautioned him against: the elites who held the most potential but eventually turning to the dark side. Jake always thought of himself as incorruptible and yet here he was in the Netherworld, about to give up everything just to strike deal with a demon.

As if sensing his hesitancy, the pool nearest to him begin to reflect an image of you and Sunghoon in yet another intimate moment and just like that, something within him snapped. "I'll do it," Jake muttered in a low, yet steady voice, eyes glinting, "but you have to make her mine. Completely mine.”

The shadows that emanated from the demon's robe grew thicker, consuming him, leaving only loud his loud cackes echoing deafeningly throughout the cistern, "deal."

— viii.

You felt Sunghoon's hand seized your wrist, his touch firm as he pulled you onto bed. His lips found yours, tangling it in a passionate kiss, as his body clambered over yours, his touch possessive as he held you captive in his embrace. It took a considerable effort to pull away and break free from his grip which was almost like talons, "Sunghoon, come on now, I'll be back after my run-" you wedged an arm in between, stopping him as he attempted to reclaim your lips again. He sighed, burying his head lazily in the crook of your neck, "do you have to?" he murmured. There was a hint of plead in his voice, "it's not even sunrise yet."

"Exactly," you chirped, "best time to run."

Sunghoon sighed again, his grip reluctantly loosening as he rose from the bed, his hand gently snaking over your back to help you up. He hated letting you go alone for all he wanted was to keep you safe and close, by his side. But if there was anyone who understood you best in the world, it would be him. He knew how much you cherished your independence and freedom and he respected that, willing to give you the space and the alone time that you need, "promise to stick to well-lit and well-trodden paths?" he murmured softly with a gaze that is so soft and tender while his thumbs drew circles on your back, his touch both soothing and protective.

"Always," you reassured him, voice steady and calm.

You got off the bed, Sunghoon trailing closely behind, his hand never leaving yours. Once you had put on your shoes, you tiptoed towards him, planting a kiss on his lips as a reassurance. You could feel him smile into the kiss, his hand gently cradling your nape to stop you from drawing back, wanting to make the moment last longer. "Seriously," you hit him playfully and he captured your hand in his, holding onto it until you slipped out the door, lingering up until the very last moments.

Little did you know that your little kiss — an act you'd rarely initiate — would be your goodbye and little did he know that his reluctance, which was oddly so strong and defied all logics that dawn, was almost like a premonition of the tragedy that would befell you both.

— ix.

When you arrived at the park where you usually run at, you remembered feeling the dread rising. The trail was too foggy, the lights flickering doing nothing but making the whole place looked like a copy of Silent Hill. But you were always so fearless for your good, so you quell your doubts and anxieties — putting them aside as baseless.

Except when you began running, the fog only grew heavier and as you approached a bend, a massive black dog appeared out of nowhere, barking wildly at you. Startled, you veered off the main trail, hoping to outpace the menacing creature. As you hurried, your foot caught on an exposed root, and you stumbled. Before you knew it, you were tumbling down a steep embankment, the world spinning around you in a dizzying blur. You tried to grab onto something, anything, but your descent was swift and uncontrollable. Finally your tumbling ceased, leaving you in a crumpled heap, your body throbbing in pain.

As you lay there, numb and in pain, blinking against the dizziness, you noticed something peculiar about your surroundings. The familiar pine forest had transformed into a grove of ancient trees, their massive trunks reaching high into the sky. The sky, starless and moonless, was bathed in an eerie shade of dark blue as if suspended at dawn.

A sense of unease washed over you as you realized something was amiss. The air was heavy and thick with an aura of mysticism with an eerie silence enveloping the forest. You knew instinctively that something was wrong, and the urge to flee began to stir within you. But as you tried to gather your bearings and rise to your feet, your head began to reel, and your eyelids grew heavier. It was as if an unseen force was lulling you into a deep slumber.

You fought against the encroaching darkness, but your efforts were in vain and the last thing you remembered before your world turned black was a huge mass of shadow drawing nearer, its presence filling you with dread.

— x.

You woke with a start, your heart pounding in your chest as the familiar nightmare plagued your sleep once again. The dream was always the same—a black mist enveloping you as you ran, the sense of something sinister chasing you through the darkness. You sat up, burying your face in your hands, when you feel the space on the bed beside you dip. You feel a strong hand wrapped around your waist, its body curled protectively around yours. You feel him bury his face at the crook of your neck, planting soft kisses against it to calm you down. You turned your head, "Jake..." you whispered softly, meeting his warm gaze.

"Nightmares again?" he asked, voice soft and concerned, "you know dreams are just the Devil's plaything."

"Yes but-" you struggled to find the words, your mind still clouded with the remnants of the nightmare. Before you could say more, Jake hauled you onto his lap, his lips claiming yours in a passionate kiss, stealing your breath and your thoughts away. It was a kiss that made you forget the nightmare, a kiss that always felt like the first, no matter how many times he had kissed you before.

His hands roved hungrily over your back, igniting a fire within you that threatened to consume all rational thoughts. You kissed him back, surrendering to his passion, feeling him press forward, his lips parting yours with a gentle urgency as his head tilted to deepen the kiss, his tongue seeking yours. The kiss consumed you, sweeping away the remnants of the nightmare and replacing it with a different kind of darkness—one that was intoxicating and exhilarating. You finally managed to catch your breath when he began trailing kisses down your neck, nipping and sucking at certain spots, marking you as his own, claiming your skin with a possessiveness that sent a thrill through you. You could feel his desire, his need, and it only fueled your own.

Jake could himself hardly believe the moment would ever come: of him being able to call you his, of him being able to hold you close, of you actually reciprocating his love and touch. But indeed, this had become his every day now. Yet still, he could never get enough of you, wanting to imprint every touch, every kiss, onto your skin. You could feel yourself about to fully lose yourself to the overwhelming intensity of his touch when your eyes drifted to the window behind the bed, where the grove of ancient trees stretched as far as the horizon.

"Those ancient trees outside—" you stammered, trying to fight the overwhelming sensations, "it kept on haunting me in my dreams. Like a memory—" your voice trailed off as you felt yourself thrown back against the mattress, Jake hovering over you, his eyes burning with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine.

"You know you can't go out there," his voice was calm but there was an unmistakable warning in his voice, an edge to his tone that you hadn't heard before, "it's too dangerous."

You opened your mouth to protest, to ask why he always cautioned you against venturing into the forest, but any form of protest was muffled by another searing kiss. This kiss was different, hungrier, more primal, making you breathless and weak in the knees. "You're only safe with me y/n," he muttered in between kisses, "you're mine after all," his hips pressed against yours, his hands slipping under your shirt, making you shudder.

Jake had always been gentle towards you so the aggressive and almost primal way in which he was taking you right now was making you feel uncomfortable. The warning bells in your head rang faintly, but the sensations he elicited drowned them out. His kiss was like a drug, clouding your judgment and leaving you helpless to resist. As you felt him press you further into the mattress, your hands instinctively tangled in his hair, pulling him close, your body responding to his touch with a will of his own. Just like the clothing that were shed one by one, any remnants of doubt and hesitation begin to disappear. The morning after, you would wake up as if this castle had always been your home, as if this bed had always been the one you slept on, as if Jake had always been the love of your life.

But sometimes, when the nightmare comes, striking the deepest fear in your heart, a flash of images would surge through your mind, offering a glimpse of another life. Through it all, one constant remained — a man. His face was unclear, his features blurred by the haze of dreams, but his presence loomed large, leaving you with a sense of longing and an ache in your heart that you couldn't quite explain. It was as if your soul recognized him, even if your conscious mind could not recall his name or his face. The man may not possess Jake's gentle and warm nature but he oddly felt so safe. Like home. In fact it weirdly occurred to you that even if you didn't know him, you felt like you'd run towards him on instinct if you were made to choose between him and Jake — as if he's a sanctuary.

But then you wake up, and your heart would pound from the terror of being chased while your heart ached from what felt like loss and longing. While the terror would eventually dissipate throughout the day, the ache lingered, as if a void had opened up within you. That's why you always surrendered to Jake eventually for only it was under his soothing words and tantalizing touch could you fill the void and the quiet of yearning.

Until the next nightmare strikes.

a/n: damn writing the goodbye with Sunghoon made me ache lol. Hope you like this one. I actually enjoyed writing this one even though it did took quite some time to finalise. No, there won't be a Part 2 because I suck at writing continuations lol. And yes, there will be a Part 4 for Dancing with the Devil but patience friends.

>>> | Masterlist |

[koolades-world]

did y'all ever have to do that egg baby project as kids? i did and my partner was shit but i protected that egg with my life i tell you. I created the best little home for my baby no matter how many times it got dropped it was perfectly intact. she might've just been an egg shell but she was my child haha. i kept her for a few years until i eventually donated it back to my middle school to use as an example. her name was summer :)

anyways getting off topic, my spin on that with the brothers with a twist!! what if magic was used to give it artificial life? it's not real of course but it seems very real

enjoy <3

Egg Baby Project w/ Brothers

Lucifer

he acted like he expected the project and knew he'd be paired with you, but he actually didn't and was beyond stressed until you were put together

he knew from the minute he saw the fake baby, he'd quickly grow attached to your little family and would be a little sad when they had to go even though it would be an added responsibility

he's so grateful for you and how understanding you are. the two of you are together most of the time now in his room, getting work done in there and caring for the fake baby

like he predicted, he's a little sad but mostly ready to have his time back, but if you want, you can always come back to his room as it's open invite for you

Mammon

he mentally and physically cheered once he found out you were his partner, and totally shoved it in his brother's faces

he knows he's doomed once he sees this little fake baby you're supposed to care for together because they reminds him of you, down to the little cowlick

he's actually quite good at caring for the fake baby and doesn't need much help from you to do anything, but of course he needs breaks. you two have a good system of passing the baby back and forth!

he's actually upset once the professor takes the baby back after the project was over since he'd come to enjoy caring for it with you, like a little family

Levi

he has to stop being a recluse? count him out. but once he finds out you got assigned as his partner, he's all ears. he'll listen carefully for instructions

his hands are trembling accepting this fake baby because he knows this won't be like caring for henry 1 or 2.0, but also because he can't help but think they look like you

he knows a little, but not enough if he wants to pass this project, so he gets on it and does his research, and asks you once he's able to work up the courage to

he's more than relieved to have his time back, but he misses getting to spend time with you, so he'll find excuse after excuse to drag you into his room to be with you

Satan

you're the ideal partner for a project like this because the two of you have a good understanding of each other and what makes them tick. honestly, anyone else put with him may have been hospitalized once it was over

at first, he's a little annoyed they were just being handed the baby, but he softens up once he realizes the baby you've been given looks like you, someone he considers a best friend

he sometimes needs a minute to collect himself, but he's a great caretaker. better than you, actually. you follow his lead. he does want an A after all

he's not upset that it's over, but he's not exactly happy either. it's bittersweet even though it was short. but, he can always find another excuse to spend time with you haha

Asmo

he's so obsessed with the idea of this project and couldn't hope for a better partner for it!

he will openly admit how much he thinks the fake baby looks like you. he will be trying to coordinate outfits between the two of you for cute pictures

he's great at not only caring for the baby, but he also always manages to make it look easy. how is he so good and looks good while doing it?

he's upset that he has to give it back, but spending time with you makes him happier. he makes you promise to go somewhere nice for dinner that night :)

Beel

he's happy to have been put with you for this project, since he knows you and trusts you with his entire heart

he smiles once he sees you and the fake baby side by side, and he loves that he can see the resemblance. he's happy that even while completing a project he'll still be able to be reminded of you

he does try his best to help and he always tries to not worry about his hunger while working on his project. he does take breaks frequently to eat, but you know it's not his fault and he does wash his hands thoroughly every time

he's not too bothered by the project ending, but if you're upset, he's upset too. if you're happy, he's happy. he just want to validate how you feel since you really pulled your weight

Belphie

he wasn't in class the day the project was assigned so what a surprise it was when you came home with a fake baby

it takes him a little bit to see the resemblance between you and the fake baby

he does try to help as best as he can and he does take less naps, and when he is awake, he's a great help and tries his best because he knows you're only one person. but, from time to time he does need to consult you

tbh he's so ready to give that thing back to the professor. he's ready to have his nap time back haha

[youcouldmakealife]

KS Fill: Vinny/Tony; blanket monsters

Another Kickstarter fill -- a request for more of Vinny and Tony gets some postseason flavour.

Everyone always told Thomas that with age came maturity. He’s been waiting for for that to happen to him — kind of hoping it’ll skip him, truthfully, but still waiting — but so far it hasn’t kicked in.

Thomas doesn’t think anyone ever told Anton that phrase. Or, if they did, he decided to go the other way out of spite.

What did come with age, Thomas thinks, is handling playoff exits differently. Or maybe it’s experience, but either way, it doesn’t feel like it did in his twenties. It doesn’t hurt less, he doesn’t think, but he has a sense of perspective that he didn’t have when he was younger and it felt like the entire world had crashed around his feet. He’s not sure Tony has that, though. He isn’t sure how much perspective you can get from inside a blanket fort. Or, maybe not a fort. Fort makes it sound like there was planning, and implementation, and also probably fun?

There was no fun involved in this blanket structure. There isn’t very much structure either. It’s mostly just a pile of blankets twisted around a very cranky man. Still, Thomas figures it’s better to be inside it than looking on from the outside, worrying about if Tony’s gotten stuck in there, all twisted up, but is too proud to call of help, or if he’s getting enough air. There are a lot of blankets piled on their bed right now, so many Thomas can barely find Anton in the pile, which is impressive, considering Anton is a very large man.

Thomas doesn’t want to startle him, but he can’t really knock on Anton’s current setup either. He considers, then taps his knuckles gently against what he thinks might be Anton’s shoulder. “Knock knock,” he adds, just so Anton doesn’t assume he’s just prodding a man while he’s down.

The top blanket opens just enough for him to see a flash of flinty blue eye, then closes again.

“Who’s there?” Thomas says. He doubts Anton has patience for banana, but maybe he can catch him off-guard with a short one. The twins have taught Thomas all of their favourites, and obviously he can’t use the French ones, but they had a few in English too. Interrupting cow’s pretty funny, but Anton has to participate for Thomas to interrupt, which puts a wrench in things.

“A loser,” the pile mutters, and Thomas has to take a sharp breath in so he doesn’t laugh. If he laughs, this blanket pile is on the move, and there's no way Thomas will be joining it.

“Can I come be a loser too?” Thomas says.

The eye’s back. “You’re not a loser,” he says.

“Lost the same series you did,” Thomas says.

Anton’s eye disappears, and Thomas considers more extreme methods — Anton’s stronger than him, but he’s also ticklish, and probably won’t punch Thomas if he goes for his sides, at least not on purpose — when the blanket opens wide enough that Thomas can just barely crawl in. It’s dark in the blanket pile, and hot, humid with Anton’s breath. Thomas makes sure to keep a sliver of blanket open behind him to let in some light and fresh air, and he can see Anton notice him doing it, considering whether to argue that losers don’t deserve light or oxygen.

Thomas bets if it was just Tony in here that opening would already be shut, but now that Thomas is here too, Tony’s stuck — punishing himself means punishing Thomas, and only likes doing one of those. At least, that’s what Thomas is counting on.

“Only one blanket monster allowed, I thought,” Thomas says, and Anton shrugs, their blanket surroundings shifting with the movement.

“That was a hard one,” Thomas says. He spent it on the bench, but that didn’t make it any less hard — watching the final game stretch out of reach, not able to do anything but open and close the bench door for his increasingly dispirited teammates — that’s hard. Hard in a different way than being in the net, but not really less, he’s learned. No matter what, you end up questioning what would have happened if things had been a little different.

“I thought we had it this year,” Tony says softly. “I really thought we did.”

“I know,” Thomas says.

“I wanted to win it with you,” Anton says. Unspoken, that Thomas’ contract is up this summer, that fan favourite or not, Thomas is in his thirties, and there are prospects who deserve a shot waiting in the wings. Unspoken, that he doesn’t want Thomas to retire empty handed. Thomas doesn’t want that either, but even if he does, it was a good one. He wouldn’t trade it for anywhere else, even if a Cup was guaranteed in the bargain.

“I wanted to win it with you too,” Thomas says, and when Anton reaches for him, trying to wrap himself up, surround himself with Thomas the way he surrounded himself with blankets, Thomas does his best to oblige.

[avonne-writes]

Can you speak more to your theory about callum and Austin’s friendship being about a safe space/comfort person? I am obsessed with them and really hope we get to see more of their friendship in the future.

Hi dear 😊 Sure! Please note that these are all just my observations and assumptions, of course - ultimately, we don’t know these men. Mini-essay below.

Austin expressed in several interviews that he used to be a shy kid who couldn't really find a friend group where he belonged until he got into acting and he "found his tribe", as he put it. Based on how he behaves in interviews depending on the group he’s with and how his costars describe him, I think he's still someone who’s more reserved and needs to be drawn out of his shell with a gentle approach. He seems to have had a good example of this with Florence Pugh who helped him get out of the house while shooting Dune.

It seems to me that Austin enjoys being with costars who are confident, funny but calmly caring.

Callum fits right in that category. He has a bubbly and comforting vibe, he cracks witty jokes all the time (sometimes a little naughty, which Austin also seems to like), and he gives off a sense of safety. That he can be relied upon no matter what mood you're in or what kind of support you need. He’s also casually tactile in a way that seems to encourage Austin not to pull back on his own tactile gestures. They're both young men around the same age who share a passion and (as far as we can tell) views, so that further connects them.

I think we should consider the time when they met too. Austin was in a vulnerable place mentally and emotionally due to Elvis ending, and he said he was trying to find himself again. Plus, it was Covid lockdown, and he had just moved to a new country for this shoot. So they spent a lot of time together, often in very small groups or just the two of them during a period when Austin needed support. It’s not hard to imagine how that strengthens a friendship.

We also know that Austin has trouble staying in touch with people remotely (i.e. the joke about him not using his phone), while they also implied that Callum sends a lot of voice messages. From my personal experience, people who have trouble replying are able to maintain long-distance connections better if the other person is chatty like that.

Finally, from Callum's side, it’s clear that he likes making people laugh and making them comfortable. I think he seems to enjoy being a source of support and finds it rewarding that he’s the cause of their joy. He always raves about how quickly he "fell in love with" Austin, and I think it’s a combination of similar views and interests meeting plus a matching sense of humour, life stage and intensity levels (e.g. Timothée's intensity is too much to match Austin).

These are some factors that could have contributed to their sweet friendship. Callum explicitly mentioned in an interview that he doesn’t have this kind of relationship with a lot of costars, so I think we can safely say that this really is a special bond, and even if they drift apart, whenever they meet, they will always be happy to see each other again. 🩷

[hornychristianprincess]

NSFW A-Z: WONBIN

a/n: this is just my personal analysis based off my perception and observations of wonbin's personality. all of this is fiction/fantasy

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Immediately after sex, Wonbin wants to be close to you, no matter how sweaty or gross the two of you are. While recovering in bed with you, he’ll be filled with a sort of cocky smugness as he reflects on just how good the sex was. His confidence will be boosted, causing him to be more talkative than usual and say whatever’s been on his mind. Once you’ve both recuperated, he’ll more often than not want to go for another round.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself, Wonbin takes a lot of pride in his abs/torso. As a dancer and performer, he works hard to achieve and maintain his physique. I can imagine him having a lot of shirtless pics on his phone.

On his partner, Wonbin is a boob man all day, every day. Regardless of his partner’s size, there’s just something about the softness of them that is comforting to him. Even just feeling them through your shirt during a hug is enough to rile him up.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I think Wonbin is a little finicky when it comes to any sort of mess so I’d say he prefers to come inside of his partner or in a condom. When he’s finished, there’s ease in being able to either throw the condom away or take a shower with you so you can wash up together.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

We all know Wonbin works really hard to maintain this mysterious, cold image, but with a partner who he feels comfortable with, Wonbin is the biggest softie. When he finds someone he loves – a feat on it’s own since he is such an introvert – they become his entire world. He would do anything to please them. He doesn’t want anyone knowing this because of how it would crack this persona he’s crafted for himself.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Wonbin has been handsome his whole life so I would guess he had no shortage of suitors. However, I don’t see him as the type to just go around slinging dick to everybody. It takes a lot for him to take interest in someone and even longer before he’s comfortable initiating sex. Still, I’d venture to say he has some experience under his belt.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Wonbin is a fan of any position where he can comfortably look into your eyes, so usually missionary or cowgirl is what he goes for. Being able to see your expressions as he pleases you is integral to Wonbin’s own pleasure. He likes to maintain intense, searing eye contact with whoever he’s fucking, and these two positions are what most easily allow for that.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

In the lead-up to sex, Wonbin uses jokes to mask how nervous or excited he is. He hopes that by being playful he’ll come off as cool. Once the sex actually begins though, he is deadly serious and intense. He becomes too focused on either giving or receiving pleasure to find anything funny. It’s similar to how he is when he performs on stage; Wonbin on stage and Wonbin off stage are two different people. Off stage, he can be personable and charming, but once he gets into performance mode, he takes what he’s doing so seriously that he can’t consider anything else.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Wonbin only bothers to groom himself when he has a partner, otherwise he can’t be bothered. In the beginnings of a relationship, he appreciates it when his partner puts in the effort to shave. But once you’ve been together for a while and built that camaraderie, he couldn’t care less.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I think Wonbin enjoys receiving intimacy but not giving intimacy if that makes sense. Like he is fully comfortable with saying romantic things to you and watching as it makes you get worked up and emotional. But the moment when you do the same and he starts to get overwhelmed with emotion, he’ll be quick to hide his face in your neck or bite your shoulder to hold back his whines. As I’ve already alluded to, he shies away from anything that would put a crack in his mysterious persona. In other words, emotional vulnerability is difficult for him but he’s more than happy to hold space for and even provoke your own expressions of emotional intimacy.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Wonbin masturbates rarely and mostly as a means to either let off stress or cure boredom. I see him masturbating the most in the shower after a long day of work, allowing his worries to release down the drain. In many ways, I see him as someone who only appreciates masturbation for its basic utility rather than for the pleasure it brings. To him, sex is a pleasure best enjoyed with a partner.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

overstimulation (giving and receiving): Wonbin is turned on by the idea of fucking until you both literally can’t anymore. To do that requires draining each other’s bodies for all of the energy they have. This man likes to go for rounds. And he won’t want to stop until you both can’t move.

marking (giving and receiving): seeing marks on each other’s skin after sex is a pride point for Wonbin. It’s evidence of just how good the sex was. when receiving, Wonbin likes scratches on his back or even a bloody lip after a passionate kiss. When giving, Wonbin likes seeing the fleeting mark of his handprint on your ass after he smacks it, and more longlasting, hickies on every part of your body.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Wonbin doesn’t have any location preference. He is honestly down to fuck you any time, any place. Still, he’s aware that his partner would likely feel most comfortable to let loose in the privacy of a bedroom, so he’s fine with that.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Before sex even comes to mind for him, he is turned on by a person who is a little hard to get. Because he is so used to the attention of potential suitors. It’s easier to get his attention by not trying to pursue him at all, at least initially. Additionally, he is attracted to unique people with lots of confidence in themselves and their interests. 

What motivates him sexually is feeling a strong level of trust with his partner. What also motivates him is his desire to please. I think Wonbin sometimes has thoughts of not being enough for a person. He sees sex as being the thing that could make someone stay if they feel like he’s lacking in other places. When he fucks, he makes the pleasure of his partner his biggest priority. He is turned on by their reactions and praise. In many ways, he sees praise of his sexual abilities as an affirmation of his personhood. Sex is one of his ways of expressing his love. Whenever he feels a strong surge of love for you romantically, it will immediately translate to him wanting to fuck you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s turned off by someone who makes him feel even slightly judged for who he is as a person. I mentioned earlier that he likes people who play hard to get, but once you get past those initial meetings that define the beginning of the relationship, he has little tolerance for indifference. He wants his partner to be just as into him as he is into them.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Wonbin loves both giving and receiving head. As mentioned in my last answer, Wonbin is a huge giver. What turns him on about giving head is seeing his partner’s satisfied expressions and knowing that he possesses the power to make them feel euphoric in this way. And being the man he is, he loves to receive head. He finds you sexiest when you’re salivating over his dick, begging to have it in your mouth even after you’ve already made him come so many times this way before.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

By and large, I think his pace is dependent on whatever his partner asks of him at that moment or whatever he thinks is gonna feel the best for you. Usually he’ll start out slow just to get a feel for the rhythm of things, but he’ll have his moments where the sex starts to feel so good that he’ll get overwhelmed and start rutting into you roughly.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies aren’t Wonbin’s favorite way to fuck, but he’s also not at all opposed to them. It’s not something that happens often, especially because he likes to carve out substantial time with you so that he’s not having to rush intimacy. Still, in moments where you only have a few moments to yourselves, he’d rather have you for a short time than not at all.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

There is nothing inherently satisfying about taking risks for Wonbin. Rather, he can become so turned on by his partner that his desire outweighs any fear. If you and Wonbin are in public and he finds himself enthralled by you in some way, he has no problem with pulling you aside and having his way with you, or even playing with you under the table during a public dinner. The risk of getting caught is irrelevant if not meaningless to him. Were he ever to get caught, he would be quick to shut down any teasing or outside conversation. He prefers to keep the private life of himself and his partner out of the conversations of others.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again – rounds rounds rounds rounds. In each round, Wonbin’s first priority is to make you come, and with that in mind, he is able to hold back on his own orgasm for however long he needs to. After each round, he does need some time to recuperate, but once he’s good, he’ll be ready and needy for more. On a perfect day with Wonbin you’ll fuck, watch a movie, get bored and fuck again, get some food, fuck, and just keep going in that pattern until you collapse in bed tiredly by the end of the day. Once he’s done though, he’s done. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Wonbin is open to both using toys and having toys used on him. While he’s fucking you, I could see him reaching over to a bedside drawer, grabbing a vibrator and using it to stimulate your clit while he gives you long, deep thrusts. Conversely, if you were to incorporate a vibrator or cock ring while giving him head, he might just cry like a baby. All in all, anything that can be used to enhance both of your pleasures’ is a win for him. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Wonbin is only a tease outside of the bedroom. Inside it, he gets right to the point and doesn’t have the patience to delay anything by teasing you. His focus is on making the both of you feel good. To him, pleasure is a feeling best enjoyed when instantaneous rather than to be delayed by pointless lollygagging.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Wonbin only allows groans and grunts to come out when he feels like they sound dignified and gruff. The moment a whine threatens to come out, he’s quick to bite your shoulder to hold it back. If a means of hiding his whines isn’t immediately accessible, he’ll just look and sound really pained as he fights to hold back what he’s feeling. He always wants to appear composed and in control of his reactions.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

“I love you,” he’d say, a breezy tiredness to his voice as he fucked you for what felt like the tenth time that night. “So, so much.”

These were the sort of inclinations Wonbin would get every time he was inside you. The soft, sentimental part of him is something you only got to see, something you managed to bring out of him so easily with the pleasure of your sex. The closer he got to coming, the rougher and more restless he come feel himself being. He pinned your wrists against the bed, eyes never leaving yours as his thrusts increased in impact.

“You’re mine forever, Y/N. No one can fuck you as good as I do. You belong to me,” he’d growl, each thrust punctuated by a kiss from his signature star shaped necklace, hanging from his neck and dragging up your face. You were close, and he could tell, the feeling of you clenching around him plus the telltale shutting of your eyes giving it away. Longing to be close to you in these moments, his face collapses onto yours as he initiates a languid, messy kiss.

“Come for me. Wet me,” he’d pull away to command. “Wanna feel you drip down my cock, pretty girl.” Those were the last words you were able to register before you were launched into the most powerful orgasm of your life, Wonbin following after you with a poorly suppressed whine only shortly after.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I don’t have any strong inclinations either way. I just know that whatever he lacks in the sack he more than makes up for in other areas. Whatever his size is, it gives him no reason to not feel confident in his sexual abilities.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

I’d say his sex drive is pretty average. Sex with him is pretty physically demanding so it often happens that you fuck 1-3 times a week with a day or two between each time. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Once he’s gotten all the rounds out of his system, his energy is completely depleted. He’ll sleep like a baby.

[evergreenpascal]

anchor (javier peña x f!reader)

summary: javier lost you, and doesn’t know if he can ever win you back.

( i suck at any kind of summary, sorry)

this is my first fic and i am honestly very unsure about it, so consider it as just practice please

part 2 will probably come.

word count: 2,056

Javier doesn’t know precisely when you engraved yourself inside his very being. He can’t recall the exact moment he went from getting annoyed by your witty comments and constant teasing to craving them, feeling like he was about to be sick when you wouldn’t even bother to look his way. He doesn’t know when it all changed. But it has been a while.

 

He can’t explain it, and he isn’t sure he wants to give himself even a split second to think about whatever is going on inside his head. He doesn’t want to think about the feeling he gets when he sees you check into the office every morning, he doesn’t want to think about the smile he tries so hard to surpass whenever you make a bad joke to Steve and your cheeks warm up when Steve just gives you a look instead of laughing, he doesn’t want to think about the way his breath hitches when you decide to wear that skirt you rarely wear to work, and he definitely doesn’t want to think about how his chest suddenly feels too tight to the sight of you laughing to something that man who Javier doesn’t know just said.

 

But he does anyway. It’s all he ever thinks about. You are all he ever thinks about.

 

He watches the way you throw your head back, the way your shoulders shake, he almost smiles at the smile planted on your face when you lower your head. What could he have said that would make you laugh like that? Why do you never laugh like that when you are with him? Javier pauses. You did once, for a short time. It just feels too long ago now.

 

He shouldn’t stare. He knows. He just can’t bring himself to stop. You are so beautiful, and he isn’t sure if you are actually glowing under the dim lighting of the room or that’s just how his eyes see you now.

 

“Javi?” Javier nearly jumps when her voice takes him out of the little trance he had been in. And it’s like torture to tear his eyes off of you to turn to her, just as he saw your hand move up to the man’s reached-out hand.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Let’s dance?” No.

 

He forces out a smile that he hopes is believable. “Sure.”

 

Her face lights up and Javier wants nothing more than to just tell her everything right then and there, to be finally done with it. To be able to go to you, tell you everything, beg you to give him a chance if he needs to. Instead, he reaches his arm out to the woman standing next to him and finds himself living in what could easily be one of his worst nightmares; watching you dance with another man across the room while he is dancing with another woman, wishing it was you whose waist he wraps his arm around on the dance floor.

 

He just wants to leave. He wants to run across the room, grab you and drag you away with him from everything and everyone so maybe you would talk to him. And what if you did? Would he even be able to say everything he wants to say to you?

 

She lays her head on his shoulder, swaying to the music while Javier cannot take his eyes off of you for even a split second.

 

He is pathetic.

 

The next ten to fifteen minutes that it takes you to excuse yourself, slowly walk to the door at the back of the room and slip out like you are afraid you will get caught, feels like torture to him. Watching you like this, with someone else, might just do what all those cigarettes or bullets couldn’t do yet.

 

Before he knows it, he is following you out of the room even though he knows he shouldn’t. He knows he will get on your nerves again, because apparently that’s the only thing he can make you feel in these days, but he can’t stop himself. He’s entering the balcony you just did seconds ago before he can even realize he’s there and talk himself out of it.

 

Your head snaps back to the door, almost as if you were afraid that he would come after you. He doesn’t see any surprise or anger in your face; this time, there’s just exhaustion.

 

“Cariño,” Javier finds himself murmuring. He sounds hasty. He feels like he is already running out of time. All he needs is just a little time to explain himself, to make you understand.

 

“What, Javier? What do you want?” You sound so… unlike you. He’s used to your voice in which he can basically hear your smile, even though it’s been a while since he’s heard it that way towards him. And now, you sound tired, disappointed.

 

“I just want you to listen to me,” he says. “Just for a minute.”

 

You huff out a shaky laugh and fuck, are you crying?

 

You look him over with teary eyes for a couple of seconds.

 

“Okay, I’m listening.”

 

He freezes. He tried talking to you so many times, always ending with you dismissing him harshly. He expected it. He was used to it.

 

This, he did not expect.

 

Javier’s mind runs a million miles per second, contemplating your possible reactions to what he is about to explain to you. Because he is. Fuck, he is. He is going to tell you everything and beg you to forgive him for keeping it from you for months.

 

He thought he could do it, hide a million things from you and be with someone else for the greater good for a limited amount of time if he just stayed away, but he can’t. Fuck the drug lords, and fuck the government. He doesn’t care what will come his way when he tells you, not anymore. He just needs you.

 

“I- Look, when I tell you what I’m about to tell you…” He stops, and you pause. Why can’t he just come out and say it?

 

The longer he stares at you without saying anything, the expression on your face turns to concerned, your eyes still shining with unshed tears.

 

It’s unfair that you are this beautiful. You distract him by just standing there, taking his breath away and making his thoughts scatter.

 

He takes a shaky breath.

 

Just say it. Just get it together and say it.

 

For a split second, you look like you forget everything. Forget how badly he broke you, how badly he fucked up, and you take a step towards him. “Javier what is it?”

 

Will you ever call him Javi again?

 

“It’s not real,” he eventually blurts out, surprising not only you but also himself. His hands go up to cover his face, he rubs his face in frustration and drops his hands back to his sides. “It’s not fucking real, none of it. I swear.”

 

All the blood is drawn from your face in an instant.

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah. She’s- Boss told me to…” He stops himself before finishing the sentence. You don’t need to hear the details of what he has been up to with her. “She’s the sister of some prick- a lawyer who is connected to him.”

 

During the two years he has known you, he believes he has gotten rather good at reading you. What each and every one of the tiny expression changes on your face means, how you always play with the tip of your necklace when you are nervous, how you bite the inside of your cheek and lower your face to hide from him when he makes you blush. Right now, he can’t read you.

 

You haven’t moved an inch, you just stare at him with your mouth slightly open. He knows you understand all the things he can’t put into words because he’s just that pathetic, but you are smart— maybe too smart for your own good.

 

He waits patiently when you avert your gaze from his eyes to his neck. He doesn’t pressure you even though every second you don’t say a word is killing him slowly. It’s the least he can do after everything.

 

You swallow a couple of times, and when you look back at his face, all he sees is… rage. And disappointment.

 

Your face scrunches up like you can’t even look at him, motion making your tears finally fall to your cheeks. He wants to kick himself.

 

“Months,” is the only thing you say at first. He wishes you would scream at him, push him, hit him. Do something. Anything.

 

“Five months, I-“ you stop again. He watches you as you try to take a few deep breaths, and it takes everything in him to not just reach to you, hold you, drop to his knees and beg until you forgive him.

 

After what feels like an eternity to him, you startle as if getting out of a trance. Your voice is shaky when you mutter the next words. “I have to go.”

 

Javier straightens up, hardly breathing, looking at you with parted lips. “What?”

 

“I have to go, he’s- I- I have to-”

 

“No.” Javier shakes his head, his strained voice cutting through your rambling. You look at him, flustered, tears ready to start flowing down any second.

 

“Please,” he begs. “Just talk to me.”

 

You huff. “Talk to you.”

 

Javier wonders if you can see the desperation he feels through his eyes. He takes a step towards you but stops when you immediately take one back.

 

“What do you want me to say, Javier?”

 

Anything. “I don’t know.”

 

“You lied to me for months. I thought I did something to scare you off— or- or that something I did was the reason that you suddenly stopped talking to me.” He winces, shakes his head. His eyes drop to your neck when you furiously wipe the tear that finally drops and he suddenly can’t stand to face you anymore. Months of resentment towards himself come in full force to hit him in the chest with a single drop of your tear. “For months, Javier.”

 

He is silent after that. He wants to say how much he cares about you, how hurting you was not even the last thing he would want to do in this world, how he would take on anything and anyone if it meant he could see you smile at him just one more time. Yet all words stuck behind the lump in his throat, choking him slowly.

 

“I’m sorry.” His voice is barely a whisper, but you hear him.

 

When you don’t say anything and he dares to look back at your face, he regrets it immediately. You don’t try to hold your tears back anymore, your bottom lip is trembling, and you are looking at him in a way that…

 

He deserves this, he thinks. He deserves this for not only hurting you, but for every other shit he did. This is how he’s being punished.

 

When you talk again, your voice is so small that Javier feels it creeping inside his rib cage and pinching his heart. “You could’ve told me.”

 

“I couldn’t tell anyone.”

 

“You could have told me.”

Could he have? Maybe he could. Maybe all of this was for nothing other than him being a coward. Maybe he didn’t have to hurt you, or kill himself slowly while watching you hurt because of him.

He watches you look at his face for a couple more seconds and swallow a sob, and walk past him inside the building without muttering another word.

He doesn’t stop you.

Javier thought about this moment for months, going over everything he wanted to say to you in his head, always coming to the conclusion that you would forgive him. Maybe not immediately, but after listening to him, he thought you would.

But the first chance he got, the first time you actually stopped to listen to him… fuck. Why couldn’t he say any of it?

He feels lightheaded, the thought of you going back to another man right now suddenly taking the front row in his train of thought.

He looks back at the door, and the moment slips away from the palm of his hand.

He will fix it, he thinks. He will fix everything. He just hopes you will let him.

[caramelberzatto]

and there was somethin' bout you // c. berzatto

good evening, my fellow tumblr users. it's been forever. since i've last been active, my whole life has shifted. drastically. the cafe i worked at for the past two years, where i met my two best friends, and where i felt most at home, closed down permanently. i booked a trip halfway across the world, that's coming up in september. i worked on healing myself after a heartbreak that left me untethered and scared and lonely. but it's been a while, and i've found my way back to light and warmth and appreciation of the person that i am. and the urge to write, to create, has sparked within me again. i hope you're still with me. i've missed you all. - clarke xx

a soft carmy ramble below the cut <3

Carmen Berzatto had never been able to forget you, despite the many years it had been since he’d last seen you, heard your voice, felt the warmth of your hand in his. And he’d cursed himself for it sometimes, for living would’ve been so much easier if he didn’t feel so lost, always reaching for someone he knew wasn’t there. But at the same time, there was a certain torturous comfort in falling back on the traces of you when he was spiralling. 

You were just kids; stupid teenagers with big feelings that you felt too young to carry for each other. And the stumble and stutter of words meant everything got lost in translation anyway. It was growing into your bodies and leaning into one another, without ever admitting to the closeness. 

You’d never really had friends, too exhausted by the thought of interacting with others, of putting on a face and playing pretend for the sake of being a part of a crowd. And Carmen’s friends were just extensions of his brother, Michael; the high-and-mighty, infectiously exuberant Michael. But you… you were something new; something he held close to his heart. For him, you’d propped open a door. You’d let him in without really meaning to. But when being in his company felt like floating, what else were you supposed to do? When someone came along and showed you what it was like to breathe without fearing everyone else would notice the rise and fall of your chest, it’s not like you were going to let that go. 

And so began the most meaningful connection you’d ever had. When you spent a summer at camp, he was the one you sent the most letters home to. When he got stuck on an assignment, he’d call you up, and you’d be halfway to the local library with cookies before he could finish what he was saying. And when you’d been each other's firsts, nervous hands fumbling for each other on a cold, autumn afternoon in senior year… Neither of you had spoken of it again, but it had meant everything. To the both of you. But things went on, and that spark, that flare, was never explored; the curse of being a teenager, awkward and not-quite you yet, and unsure of how to communicate.

And, as most things do, high school came to an end. Chances were missed. Threads of connection slipped through fumbling fingers. Carmy landed himself in New York, and you landed yourself in a shitty apartment four blocks from your childhood home. 

Though the memories of the two of you lingered all around. They must’ve lingered because the world knew you’d find your way back to each other.

And you had. Two years ago, at a market by the water. You’d been on the phone to your sister at the time, tugged along by your rambunctious niece while you were trying to pick a good watermelon, and he’d just… been there. Over by a stand selling fresh berries and mangoes, the same stall your niece was headed for.

Wearing a faded navy shirt, the logo for his brother’s sandwich joint on the front, his hair unruly and soft, he’d looked exactly as you’d remembered. But a little older now, grown. Every memory had come rushing back, glueing you to the spot, and you’d muttered an apology as you hung up on your sister, promising to have her daughter home in time for her afternoon nap. 

He turned, then, spotting you, and it was a bit like the movies you’d roped him into watching with you in high school, late at night, after you’d been studying all afternoon. It felt like everything stopped, his breath caught in his throat, and nothing could’ve stopped the smile that bloomed on your face.

And now, two years later, perched on the kitchen counter in your shared apartment, your hands tangled in his hair, he was smiling at you in a very similar way. 

“Okay, okay,” you murmured between gentle kisses that tasted of coffee and maple syrup and love. “Carm, we’ve gotta go or we’ll be late.”

“Don’t want to,” he grumbled, kissing you again, his hand cradling the back of your head. The warmth of him as he stood between your knees radiated through you, and you wanted to curl up in bed with him and never leave. But there was a very excitable eight year-old waiting on you.

“If I’m late to my niece’s birthday, you know my sister will probably murder me, right?”

Carmen huffed out a laugh, finally pulling away, and despite every instinct in your body screaming at you to hold onto him, to keep kissing him, you let him go. He held up his hands in mock retreat, turning away to grab his jacket off the back of one of the dining chairs. “Come on, then.”

He patted your ass as you passed him, grabbing the keys from the dish on the counter. Then his hand was on your wrist, tugging you close, and his lips found yours again. And you were instantly drunk on the sweet, honeyed words of ‘I love you’ that drifted from his mouth. 

Such an easy thing for him to say now, even if only to you, for it had taken almost a decade of wanting to confess it.

[rainba]

Kairos and Luka with a P-star...... that is all, oh great one

These two asks are a little similar, so I’m gonna pair them together (─‿‿─)♡

If darling was a porn star, Kairos would definitely be your number one fan! Always donating you the little bit of spare money that he has, constantly watching all your videos/staring at photos of you, etc. He'd always have at least one tab open with your content on there. ☆⌒(> _ <)

Kairos would be addicted to watching porn of you while being insanely jealous that other people get to fuck you on camera, and not him. ^^;;;;;;;

Aggressively jerking off as he listens to you moaning, closing his eyes and pretending that it’s him who’s making you cum and not the other person in the video. One day, it'll really be him!! One day.

Kairos would also leave anonymous comments on all of your posts, LOL. And he always argues with anyone who dares to say anything bad about you online. ┐(シ)┌

If you’re a sex worker without all the cameras, Kairos would be envious of your partners… But he figures that you’re only doing that stuff for money, and that you don’t actually have feelings for anyone else. >_<

He dreams that one day his career will pay him way more, and he'll eventually be able to provide for you!! If he has enough money to support you, then that means you no longer have to do sex work. You can just put all your attention on him instead! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

But, for now... All he can do is save up his money and hope that he can afford to 'be with you' one day, at least once. In his singular session with you, he'll make you fall in love with him!!

After that, you'll quit your work sooner rather than later, simply to be his devoted partner. ..・ヾ(。＞＜)シ

Flawless plan......

If you're just a darling who was a sex worker in the past, Kairos wouldn't mind that much. Does it bother him sometimes that other people got to see your body...? A little bit!! But that's only when he's feeling deeply insecure about himself. ｡･ﾟ(ﾟ><ﾟ)ﾟ･｡

On most days, it isn't really that serious to him... Because he has you now, and that's what matters most! You love him, and nobody else from your past.

All those people were just a means to an end... Meanwhile, he's your true love! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

With Luka… He’d basically make you quit your line of work immediately. >_<;;;;;;

It doesn't matter if you're a P-star or just a sex worker in general. When you’re with him, you’re not allowed to be with other people– he’ll be the one to provide and support you financially!

With being a P-star and all, though… There would be one exception: you can keep making videos, so long as it's only with him. He wouldn't mind showing the world just how good he can fuck you, so long as his face and name aren't posted on the internet with it. Only his body. (*^^*)♡

(Luka wouldn't really want to have his coworkers/boss to find out about it... It's just easier if he doesn't have to explain the situation to them.) ┐(シ)┌

Also, if your sex work is all in the past, Luka really doesn't care. You've been with other people before? You used to show off your body for money...?

Who cares?

You belong to him now. The past is irrelevant. ღ

[anxiescape]

NEW CLOAK REBORN!!!!!

Oooh! A fun one! 🤭 Okay, so New Cloak Reborn is a one-shot spinoff of Stargaze. You know when Wukong really pissed off the Celestial Realm and they eventually sent down Erlang to capture him? Well, there’s this one thing that Erlang says in Stargaze that’s pretty darn creepy:

Erlang: I find your kind to be rather hideous… (eyes Liu’er in a creepy way.) But your pelt will make a fine cloak. (Liu’er feels a shudder of fear/disgust roll down his spine, but he isn’t even able to respond before Wukong lets out an ungodly bellow of rage and throws himself at Erlang. A few blows are exchanged before Wukong locks eyes with Liu’er.) “LIU’ER!!!” Wukong screamed. “GO!!!”

Anyway, the chapter ends with Wukong being captured, and then the gods come back a year later or so and burn the mountain. Liu’er survives and manages to scare them off. Well, in New Cloak Reborn, Liu’er doesn’t survive. He is overpowered by Erlang and his brothers, and well… when Wukong gets out of the furnace, and sees the glittery new fur pelt that Erlang is wearing…

Wukong screamed. He could do nothing to stop the terrible sound tearing its way out of his throat, and all other beings in the room were forgotten as Wukong lunged for Erlang. The god reached for his sword, but Wukong moved so fast that Erlang could barely wrap his fingers around the hilt before the monkey was on top of him. Wukong’s voice was inhuman—ungodly, deafening as he howled like an enraged banshee. He clawed at Erlang, his nails tearing both cloth and flesh. He moved to tear the pelt from Erlang’s shoulders—that bastard had no right to even look at it, let alone touch it—but the moment Wukong’s fingers touched the strands of black fur, he pulled away as if he’d been burned. The fur… was so cold. Lifeless. It felt wrong.

… yeah, he’s not having a great time. Wukong is inconsolable and enraged, and he ends up being slapped right under Five Phases Mountain without the fun pillars lesson from Buddha. And when Guanyin eventually comes along to invite him on the journey, she finds a horribly depressed monkey that wants nothing more than for his suffering to end. But… she has a deal, should he choose to accept it.

“I have spoken with the Diyu. Complete this journey—see that Tang Sanzang is safe throughout his travels—and when you have successfully completed this task, Liu’er Mihou will be returned to you.”

Obviously, Wukong accepts. Originally he just goes along to fulfill his part of the deal, but over time he grows to care for the other members of his little group. By the end, he is still quiet and solemn, and he is resigned to the prospect of a future without Liu’er (he never fully trusted Guanyin’s promise). He hopes that Liu’er would be proud of the changes he’s made in himself: he’s less foolish, thinks a little more before acting, etc. And when he finally comes back to Flower Fruit Mountain… Well, here’s a little more from one of the last chapters, since I do love my happy endings:

There was someone waiting for him on the other side. They were dressed in gleaming white robes, with the faintest of pale pink lotus flowers embroidered along the edges. And their fur… Wukong would recognize that glittering midnight pelt anywhere. He had seen it in his dreams, as well as his nightmares. But unlike the last time he had seen it, the fur was now attached to a living, breathing being. One that he had never thought he’d ever see again. “Welcome home, Shí Hóu,” Liu’er said softly.

Woohoo! A happy ever after, with lots of tears and hugs and long awaited cuddles. Both of these monkeys have a lot of nightmares ahead of them (Wukong’s are of seeing Liu’er’s pelt/dead body, while Liu’er’s are memories of being skinned alive… 😳), but now they have each other again and it’ll all be okay. Liu’er gets to meet the other pilgrims, and modern day Monkie Kid happens a little differently than in the show… but you’ll have to wait until I’m finished writing. 😜

[loki-is-my-kink-awakening]

Tell Me Some Things Last

Mobius & Sylvie (and Lokius at the end). Rated T. Angst, healing, friendship, minor references to self-harm, happy ending.

Mobius is paralyzed by his grief after Loki sacrificed himself to save the multiverse. It will take Sylvie helping him to face his emotions to give him his own happy ending.

Mobius couldn’t tear himself away from watching Don tidy up the front lawn after his kids had run havoc through the place. It was a life he hadn’t known, and even though he knew he could ask Sylvie to show him the memories if he wanted to, it wouldn’t change the fact he had a gaping hole in his heart. Looking back at his previous life was painful in a numbing kind of way. It was like his emotions were stuck somewhere within his body, unable to go anywhere. Tendrils of ancient grief floated along the surface but when he tried to grab hold, they slipped through his fingers and sank into the depths once more. He was weighed down by it, and yet it paled into insignificance at how much his heart ached from losing Loki. In all his time at the TVA—however long it actually was—he had never been close to anyone. Then Loki had arrived and he’d begun to feel again, to experience something within him: a hope, possibilities for the future. Now all he had was the tattered remains of his heart. “I wish I was with you,” he sighed, looking down at the ground and scraping his shoe up and down the sidewalk. The sun had been shining since he’d arrived here, reminding him of how another Loki had told his brother they would find their happy ending eventually. If only his Loki had been able to have one. Instead, he was trapped at the end of time sacrificing himself to outwit yet another egomaniac intent on removing choice from others. It should be embarrassing how often these things seemed to happen in the multiverse. They were an almost constant, just as Lokis were destined to lose. He knew Loki hadn’t wanted to be alone, and neither had Mobius. The only difference between them was that he could be surrounded by people if he wanted to; Loki was cut off from everyone. Mobius had never met He Who Remains, only a variant—and from what Loki had said, Timely was nothing like him—but he knew he had controlled everything and decided their fates, no matter how cruel or sweet. He’d been a dictator, an enslaver, and a tyrant. But he’d also lived a solitary life at the end of time with only Miss Minutes for company, and that would be enough to send anyone insane. Mobius knew loneliness, but he couldn’t imagine not being able to numb and escape it. When he’d had nothing but endless reports to wade through, never-ending detail to get lost in, it had been easier to cope with the scars he wore. The TVA hadn’t been a good place. He hadn’t been a good man while he was in it. He’d done terrible things as a hunter until his conscience refused to let him do it any longer, and then he had done ghastly things as an analyst by helping find variants when they went rogue. He’d once told Loki he was born to cause pain and suffering and death, but the truth was Mobius’ own role in the world had been to do the exact same thing to billions. He reached up and slipped a finger inside the sleeve of his shirt, rolling it across the silvery marks on his skin. In his worst moments, it had been a way to cope with the soul crushing pain of having taken people’s lives from them, until he’d sunk so low he almost felt nothing anymore. Above him, the sun was setting and he knew it was time to move on. He’d stood here for hours and now the curtains in Don’s house were being drawn and it was time to go. If only his feet could move from this spot. It took another flash of a timedoor and that same hand patting him on his shoulder to finally tear his gaze away. “Come on,” Sylvie said softly. “I think that’s enough. It’s time you had a drink.”

For @insert-witty-user-name-here. I hope you like it. 💕

Prompt fill for @lokiusbingo | wounded.

For anyone who has read the snippet and wants more, you can read the full fic on Ao3.

[ezraischell]

Tags: angst, mentions of yingxing, reader is a short lived human, what lemon? i only have onion, dan feng is still pining for yingxing, ooc dan feng.

“a moth to a flame.” —dan feng x fem!reader

Dan Feng's heart shattered into pieces as soon as death took Yingxing into its embrace. The wind howls through his empty soul; you know he has not moved on.

What hurts most is that he will never love you the way he loved his now deceased lover.

You make him feel some semblance of happiness again, yet the pain within him is still raw. Perhaps it's because just like Yingxing, you are also a short lived species.

"I love you, but..." he declares, his words followed by haunting silence. The tension has increased as you await his next answer.

"But you're not him."

You remained silent upon hearing his voice, his words acting as though they are that of a thousand swords, mercilessly impaling your heart through and through, and yet, you never uttered a single word and never have you broken out of your stoic character just to breakdown in front of him. No, you wouldn't do that, you couldn't.

"I understand." Was all that she could say. Despite that, she knew deep down that it definitely hurt more than what she had perceived for herself.

He knew that he had inflicted pain upon you with his words, but he couldn't bear to lie. Despite his love for you, his heart still ached for Yingxing. The void in his soul persisted, a constant reminder of his lost companion.

He reached out to gently stroke the side of your face, his touch tender and reassuring, despite the weight of his words.

"You deserve better than this," he murmured, his voice filled with a hint of regret. "You deserve someone who can love you fully, without any reservations."

"..."

You wanted to recoil from his touch but you didn't, you remained still under the influence of the remaining respect and attachment that you still bore for him.

His hand, no matter how much it seemed like that of a cold touch burning painfully against your skin, remained.

And yet again, he was right. You deserved better than a bare minimum treatment from him, you were simply too blind and incapable of recognizing it for yourself.

As Dan Feng observed your stoic demeanor in response to his touch, he couldn't help but feel a sense of frustration with himself. He wished for you to react, to express your feelings, to show that he meant something to you.

But instead, you remained quiet and still. It was as if you had built a wall around your heart, refusing to show any vulnerability.

"You know I can still love you in my own way, right?" he whispered quietly, his voice tinged with a hint of longing and softness.

No matter how much he tried, you wouldn't budge or give in. Why would you? You were built and molded by the cruel world into a being incapable of ever finding the key within yourself to free your emotions.

No matter how much he loved you, you will never be able to find it in yourself to reason with him nor his words. You were simply crafted that way by the world.

"I sometimes wonder why you have walked into my life of solitude, only to ruin its peace the longer you stay."

While you understood that he could not move on from his dead lover, It always left you wondering silently to yourself why he chose to give you hope, only to take it away and break it when he realized that he cannot love you the way you expected him to.

Frustrated by your lack of response and hurt by your cold demeanor, Dan Feng couldn't help but express his confusion. He was at a loss as to how to connect with you, how to reach you.

"If you're so upset with my presence, then why do you tolerate it?" he asked, his voice tinged with a mixture of anger and despair. "Why do you allow me to be near you if it brings you nothing but pain? You have the power to push me away, yet you choose not to."

"Just like how a moth is drawn to flame, no matter how harmful it may be to them, I feel something similar akin to that.."

Despite your cold exterior, had always been drawn and attracted to his affection like a moth to a flame, always seeking the light in the dark and the warmth in the freezing world.

No matter how painful it may be, you knew what you wanted. If you truly love him, you wouldn't leave no matter how harmful he is to you.

Just like how harmful a flame is to a moth. However, you didn't need his pity, you never will. You do this out of your own will, even if he still cannot move on from his dead lover and sees you as a mere replacement.

He sighed heavily, his anger slowly fading away to give way to a deep sense of sadness. He took a moment to compose himself before replying.

"I wish I could love you the way you deserve," he said softly, his voice tinged with resignation. "But I'm afraid that a part of my heart will always belong to Yingxing. It's not fair to you, and I know that. But..."

He trailed off, his eyes downcast. He knew there was no justification for hurting you like this, and he hated himself for it.

"I am aware.. that's why, i would like to leave you and end our relationship. I wish to sever my ties with you, Yinyue-jun."

Perhaps it was out of the impulse influencing your feelings and causing you internal turmoil. But you knew better than to be selfless and disregard yourself, that would be very disrespectful to your own being.

You can't live without him, or so you thought, but then again, can you live with him while knowing he is hurting you? No, you could not. You knew better than that.

His expression grew grim as he heard your words. He knew this moment was coming, yet he still felt a pang of disappointment in his chest.

"If that is your decision, then I cannot stop you," he said quietly, his voice tinged with resignation. "But I want you to know that I truly cared for you, and I never wanted to hurt you."

He reached out a hand towards you, his eyes clouded with sadness. "Will you give me one last embrace before you go?"

"Unfortunately, i cannot."

With that being said, you walked away. You walked away, severing your ties with him and freeing yourself from the shackles of his love that you assumed for yourself.

"Farewell, Yinyue-jun."