#almost left the england part out but he said what he said

[lilystyles]

old friends.

part one of the no strings attached series by @lilystyles

no strings attached masterlist & main masterlist xxx

authors note i’m aussie so i have no idea what england/london (where this fic is set) is actually like. so if i get it wrong i apologise i’ve never been there! also, i know harry didn’t go to uni and became famous way younger than in this fic but for the sake of the plot pls ignore that! and gif credits to the original owner as always. make sure to follow if you want to see part two!

brief description harry and y/n are old friends who reunite and quickly pick right back up where they left off. new tensions arise and a deal is struck up.

warnings! mentions of sex, smut (m! receiving, dry humping, kissing, fingering), swearing, alcohol abuse and overall just a mature read. 5kish words (i didn't mean to make it this long whoops enjoy)

inexperienced!virgin!reader x fwb!harry

* * * * *

Maybe getting with him wasn’t the best idea. Y/n could admit that. 

She knew getting involved with one of her oldest friends and messing with the friend group dynamic was a dangerous game, they’d all been mates for years, and she had taken it into account before they struck up the deal. But there was just something about Harry that she couldn’t help but be drawn to. 

She’d known him since her they were kids. They’d grown up together from the awkward stages all the way up to now. He was this successful rockstar who the world simply adored, and she had always known he’d do something great with himself ever since she’d been old enough to comprehend the idea itself. She was studying still at university in a degree she loved. They had made it in this world! So far from their small village where they had dreamed up their futures. If only the two children could see them now. 

Though they were never best friends when they were younger they had always ran in the same circle and saw a lot of each other for as long as Y/n could remember it. It was only during University that they had become close friends. They had even been roommates for a year there. They both only knew each other then so it made sense for them to be together a lot.

Even through all those years, nothing had ever been more than platonic between them. Sure, Y/n had known he was handsome, and overall a lovely person but she knew that he was her friend more importantly. She valued that. She loved her friends, all of them. 

She’ll admit that there had been moments where she’d briefly thought of Harry in that way. Usually, when they were out drinking and he’d take care of her, only a few times when they were roommates and they shared late nights talking on the couch, but overall she kept it at bay. Knowing that friendship was more important to her than almost anything.

Not to mention Harry was a very loved man, he’d had many girlfriends in the years Y/n had known him. They had never particularly warmed to her, especially when they were roommates they all despised her. Honestly though, back then they had nothing to worry about. Y/n was too scared to try anything. 

But there was always some sort of tension there. Y/n never understood it really, not until a good friend of the both of them, James, said that it was just the way Harry treated her. He called her pet names, was constantly affectionate towards her (especially drunk), loved to make her laugh, and during Uni they were inseparable. When his fame skyrocketed she saw much less of him, understandably, and she got busy with her studies.

When he came home for a break from touring and showed up at the group’s Christmas party he saw her for the first time in about two years. They had drifted but not in the sense that it was awkward, more so that it was like when they saw each other it was like not a moment had passed. She smiled widely and stood up from the couch surprised to see him in there in front of her and not just splashed on a billboard. 

She was still Y/n, but she was older. She wasn’t in a baggy old shirt with her eyes glued to a computer typing away. She was here in a tight red jumper that showed a sliver of skin and a tattoo by her hip that he had never known about, with these jeans that hugged her perfect body. Her cheeks were just as rosy as before, her eyes just as doe-like, lips just as sweet only covered in a red gloss. She was still Y/n, but Harry felt like he was back in primary school when he’d pulled on her pigtail. She was fucking gorgeous and their history made it even better. He knew her well, so well. That would never change.

Even having not seen or heard from each other properly for nearly two years he instantly made his way to her and pulled her into a tight hug. His ring-covered hands were on the exposed skin of her lower back, as she giggled into his chest happily in a welcome surprise. 

His deep voice rumbled. “Hi, stranger.”

“Haz,” She sighed. It’d been a long time since he’d heard that nickname. She pulled back to look at him; he was just as beautiful as before, more tattooed, more glamorous but still the beautiful boy she remembered.

“Hi.” She said softly, eyelashes fluttering.

Nothing happened that night, not then. They just talked until the sun rose, catching up it was like no time had passed. He was still as charming and funny and she was still as coy and kind. 

New Year’s Eve was the next time they saw each other after reuniting. He found Y/n sadly sitting on the balcony of their friend Daisy’s apartment. She was in this little silver disco-ball dress with tall boots, a cigarette in her mouth. He’d been ordered by the others to find her. It was freezing out here.

“What are you doing out here, Love?”

She turned and he could see the glassy wash of her eyes. She looked so pretty, even when she cried. 

“Nothing.” She replied, shoulders slumped over.

“Missing the fun inside. Aren’t you cold, Babe?” His hand stroked her bare shoulder softly. He felt the goosebumps, and the warmth of his hand was welcome.

She shrugged. “I’m fine, H.”

“What’s got a gorgeous girl like you frownin’, hmm?” He knew why. Daisy had told him. The guy she had been dating recently had stood her up, without so much as a text. She’d checked his Instagram story to see he was off somewhere else with some other woman. It wasn’t that serious and after the Christmas party, she had questioned if she was even truly attracted to him. No one made her laugh like Harry, or feel so special. He made anyone feel like they were special.

“Harry?”

“Y/n?” He replied. 

“Be honest, I need a male opinion.” He walked towards her taking off his leather jacket to put on her body, she smiled up at him. Grateful for the warmth, the smell was comforting and suddenly it was years ago. The first time they went to a New Year’s party during University. Deja vu.

“Y/n, how do you wear such tiny clothes in this weather!” Exclaimed Harry. He was rugged up in a big brown wool coat, and a crimson scarf bundled around his neck, his jumper was this old led zeppelin one that Y/n loved on him. His pants were old flared jeans and he had some loafers on. 

Y/n looked up at him, they were on the balcony of an apartment complex. It was a few minutes until the countdown then it would be 2014. “Fashion is pain, Haz. C’mon. I look great don’t I?” She gestured down to her red dress which was a similar shade to his scarf. She had a tiny shawl over her shoulders but other than that she wasn’t prepared for the snowy evening.

“I can’t argue there but you are the biggest baby when you get sick, I can’t have you catching a cold.” He shrugged off his big coat and wrapped her up in it. It smelled of him; mint, cigarettes and a spicy woodsy smell.

“Says the one who I had to spoonfeed!”

“Oh shoosh. Now I need your advice about Mia she’s been eyeing me up all night….” 

“Of course, I owe you, you helped so much with my girl problems in uni.” He seemed to be thinking of that night too.

“Is…” She sighed and looked away from him to stare off at the city lights. The smell of his jacket was just like the wool one, the comforting mood was still there. “Is a girl- a girl being inexperienced…in bed…pathetic?”

He frowned, confused. “No of course not. A lot of people like to wait or don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t care, and that’s okay. It’s not pathetic at all.” Harry had a few drinks that night so he didn’t connect the dots straight away at what Y/n was saying.

“I’ve heard differently.” And she had, her experience with boys was sad.

He frowned before his eyes widened. He was honestly surprised. “Wait, Y/n, is this- is this about you?”

“Please don’t look at me like that, Harry I already feel pathetic enough.” She covered her face with her hands.

He got closer to her. “You are far from pathetic, Lovie.”

“You don’t understand. Anyway, you’ve had loads of sex your Harry Styles for god’s sake!”

“Y/n, define inexperienced,” He sat beside her, knee pressing into hers. 

She winced. “I’ve only ever kissed people, ‘never gone further than that. Never even had a boyfriend, you know that.”

Harry smiled, endearingly. She hadn’t changed, he felt like he was back in first year of university when she was complaining about how no guys asked her out. “So?”

“So the reason my date didn’t show up was because I told him I was a virgin yesterday.” It clicked now, the cold wind must have been sobering him up.

“He’s a total wanker. You are not pathetic by any means because of that. And anyway, virginity is a social construct to control and devalue women!” He said, angry at this guy who he’d never even met. It was like when one of the lads on the rugby team made a bet to get in her pants in their second year of university. 

He’d never been so angry.

“Really?” She said looking up with a frown.

He grabbed her hand giving it a tight squeeze, the metal of his rings cold against her warm hand. 

“Promise! It’s actually attractive in a way—” He was cut off by the door slamming open.

“Hey guys it's one minute till midnight!” Said Penny interrupting their moment, she rushed back inside again to hide from the cold. Motioning for them to join the rest of them inside. 

They could both hear the chanting inside. Neither made a move to go inside.

“10! 9! 8!”

Harry looked at Y/n, and she smiled gently at him leaning close to him. He tucked a strand of her hair back behind her ear.

“What happened to your date anyway?” She asked shifting the topic. 

He shrugged, to be honest, he didn’t know or care. Y/n had been on his mind the whole damn night.  “I think she went home.”

“5! 4! 3!”

“Oh.” She said, looks like they both had no luck this year.

“Can I kiss you?”

That caught her off guard, but she nodded when she heard the cheers for Happy New Year inside, remembering. “For luck, right?”

To be honest he’d forgotten it was New Year’s. When the final count happened he leaned forward and kissed her, it lasted longer than it should have between two friends. But they were too drunk to care.

When they pulled apart fireworks shot off in the sky. They watched in silence still close to each other, warmth radiating. They were in their own little world.

Y/n looked up at him when the fireworks stopped, a special look in her eyes. Mischief and drunkenness. 

“Do you want to come over to mine? I’ve moved since the last time you saw me…”

He smirked, a glint in his eye. “Let’s go.”

When they arrived at Y/n’s new flat Harry paid the cabby wishing him a happy new year. She was still wrapped in his leather coat as she waited for him impatiently on the path. She grabbed his hand to guide the way when the taxi drove away. She was on the third floor.

It was this old London apartment. Beautiful and in a really nice area. 

“You friends with everyone in the building? I wouldn’t be surprised, you are certainly a charmer.” He jested as they sat in the lift on the way up. Harry knew how she had a habit of chatting with everyone. When they lived together she made the entire floor gingerbread and Christmas cards. 

“Oh shut up, you’re the real charmer of us both. Girls scream when they see you walking down the street!” She pulled him inside. Taking off her scarf and boots before turning on one of the lamps. It gave a orange glow to the room.

“You know I don’t mind when girls scream.” He teased.

This made Y/n blush. He noticed and giggled at her pinching her cheek. 

“Oh, leave me alone.” She pouted peeling the coat off.

They took their coats off and hung them on the rack. Y/n showed him around the flat quickly. It was a vast improvement from her old place. Her old place was this shoe box, it was also in a really scary area which always worried Harry when they were friends. He helped her move in before he went on his first tour. She couldn’t afford anywhere as nice as this before. She’d kept a lot of her old stuff. It was certainly her place and if someone brought him here and he had to guess who it belonged to, he’d say her. 

First, he saw the living room. It had this great big red 70s leather couch with knitted rugs on top and a gorgeous original fireplace. He was surprised to see a photograph of the pair of them on the mantle above it. He walked over, they were probably 15 in the photograph. It was beside a few other old ones.

“Look how cute you look, Love.” He lifted it up and pointed at her face.

She groaned. “Are you serious? Look at my hair there! Was not doing me any favours at all.”

He turned to face her his hand finding her hair. “I’ve always loved your hair.”

Y/n kissed his cheek in response, it was more flirty and sloppy than she had intended. He kissed hers back. 

Then there was a moment where they just stared.

Until softly she spoke, “Harry?”

“Yeah, Babe?” 

“D’you wanna have sex with me?”

He was startled, his hand was still in her hair thumb on her jaw. “Do you?”

She flinched stepping away. “Sorry, that was stupid of me. But seriously you’re hot and funny, and I trust you more than any other guy, I mean who could be better for this? I’m drunk and your drunk, we can just say it was a one-night stand and carry on being friends, can’t we? Call it a drunken fling? A favour even.”

“Y/n—”

She was rambling now. “Oh no! You think I’m pathetic, don’t you? Begging you for sex? Jesus, what am I thinking? Look, let’s just blame the tequila and go to sle—”

He leaned forward interrupting her with a kiss to shut her up for a second. She froze momentarily until she decided to kiss him back, his hands slid down her dress as he pulled her closer to him. Her hands found his chest and the kiss began to deepen.

Only when Y/n had started to feel lightheaded did he pull away. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers grazing her warm cheeks. “Are you sure you want this?”

Y/n nodded. “Do you want to? Don’t feel pressured, H.”

“Of course I do. You’ve been my wet dream since we were in high school.” She giggled and flung forward pushing him back onto the couch.

“I am?”

Her hands found their way to his jumper and took it off him and he grunted in some form of agreement. She moved from his lips to his neck kissing down the column of it. Sucking on the adam’s apple gently, he sighed as his hands moved to the tops of her thighs. He was totally content right now.

For the first time in a while he was the calm one and she this was raw hungry energy.

“Why haven’t we done this sooner?” He rasped moving her hips against his thigh, she whimpered at the contact. His jean-covered leg had the perfect amount of friction against her thin underwear. She may have been a virgin but that didn’t mean she hadn’t fantasised a lot about this. If anything that only made it worse.

“I don’t- ah- dunno.” She sighed into his ear.

He felt a throb in his pants. It felt like a dream, a filthy one. One he’d probably had before. The number of nights he’d masturbated to something like this was too many to count. Y/n’s tits were at eye level as she humped on his leg needily and he thought he might just cum right then and there.

Her dress was hiked up to her hips and he could see the flash of pink lace, when he leaned forward to kiss her exposed chest he saw the hint of a red bra. 

She stopped for a second hands moving from his hair to his chest. “Can I touch you, H?”

“‘Course you can. Be good f’me and touch me.” She slid off him, her clit throbbing at his voice. All deep, rough, and dreamy.

On her knees, she placed a hand on either thigh gently rubbing them. Staring at the large bulge in his pants she grew nervous. The dim lighting of the living room meant it was hard for him to see her entire face but he could see her eyes widen at how large he was. 

“You okay there, Lovie?”

She placed her small hand on it, “‘M perfectly fine, Harold.”

His chuckle quickly turned into a choked moan when she palmed him roughly. She looked up at him for approval to keep going. “Yes,” He said, head thrown back on the couch.

She unzipped his jeans revealing black briefs which she’d seen him wander around in when they lived together. He liked to be free of clothes at home. But she had never seen him fully naked before.

She slid her warm hand in there, Harry hissed when she wrapped her hand around his throbbing cock, he felt so sensitive to her touch. 

“You sure you want to do this, Angel?” She could feel how much he wanted her. He was throbbing and heavy in her hand. His body was begging for her but spoke softly with no pressure. 

“Harry, please, I really want to.” She sighed staring up at him, feeling the weight of him heavy on her hand.

This had to be a dream. He thought. She was literally on her knees begging for his cock in her mouth. Big e/c eyes looking up at his face. 

“Needy,” He teased knowing he was probably worse right now. “touch me.”

She didn’t care if she seemed needy the feelings she was having right now were too much, she pulled him out and it sprung up hitting his bare stomach. Her thighs clenched and Harry noticed, smirking.

“Jesus Christ, Harry.” She said in disbelief, hands itching to touch him, “No wonder you always act so cocky,”

He laughed throwing his head back. “You sure you want to keep going?”

“Yes, but can you..” Suddenly she had gotten all shy again, like on the balcony. Embarrassed as if she hadn’t been humping his leg moments ago and whining in his ear for him to make her come.

“Don’t get all shy on me now, baby. Say what’s on your mind.”

“Can you…” She paused again.

“Can I what?”

“Can you show me what to do? Tell me. I mean I want you t’feel good, but I’ll probably be really bad at it. I’ve never done this.”

His hand touched her cheek, thumb stroking her face. “Whatever you do I’m sure I’ll love it, I’ll tell you if I don’t like it. Just try, m’not going to judge. Don’t worry, I’m just your old friend Harry.”

“Just Harry.” She confirmed, easing the anxiety in her stomach a bit.

“Good girl.” He praised gently and she leaned forward kissing the pink tip of cock. He let out a hitched breath. 

“You okay?” She asked.

He looked at her confused. “I didn’t ask if this was okay with you. Do you want this?”

“Y/n it’s more than okay.” He replied breathlessly at the sight. “I’m so fuckin’ horny for you right now.” He laughed lightly as if this was a normal thing to do with an old friend. Like it was just a catch-up. 

That was all the confirmation she needed before spat on the head and began to stroke him with her hand, the natural lubrication making it easier to go fast. She really only knew stuff from porn. Which was always just intense and messy deepthroating. She wondered if Harry wanted her to be like that. But honestly, she wasn’t sure she could take all of him her mouth. He was just so big. 

He was moaning quietly as she kept a steady rhythm. One of his hands was squeezing the couch tightly and the other was holding her free hand that touch his knee. It felt so good. 

When she leaned forward and licked a long strip along the length of him, he groaned running a hand through his messy hair. “So good Y/n,” 

Y/n loved how vocal he was with her, it eased her worries about being bad. It made her wetter than she could imagine.

When she began to actually suck him he went feral. His hands move into her hair holding it from her face, he had to stop himself from moving his hips up and fucking her mouth. He knew he needed to be gentle right now, but it was feeling too good to believe. 

“Jesus Christ, Y/n, you’re too good at that.”

He was moaning every second and every time he let out a particularly pleasured noise Y/n made sure to do it again. Harry opened his eyes and looked down at the sight below him, Y/n’s dainty red-painted hand was stroking the part she couldn’t fit in her mouth and every now and then cupping his balls, her tongue was lapping up every inch of precum that dripped out of him. Kissing his thighs and cock whenever she came up for air. Her red lipstick was smudged and her eyes watering. 

Her legs were clenched together and every time he moaned she got wetter for him, she could feel it dripping down her thigh, she was aching to be touched and honestly, this would be something she would masturbate to later. 

She was steadily jerking and squeezing him just the right and even amount, as she grinned wickedly up at him.

“You sure you’ve never done this?” He said, whimpering when she licked up another drip of precum.

She laughed. Harry had to say she was better than he thought, not because he thought it would be bad. Simply because most people make the mistake of being too rough and using teeth or being too soft and slow. Y/n was perfect and attentive, she’d learnt in mere minutes how to get him absolutely fucked. He could hardly keep his eyes open. 

She began sucking again this time going a bit further, testing her limits. When her nose felt the tickle of hair on his lower navel, she came back up breathing heavily and repeated it a few more times. Harry was moaning even louder now.

“‘M close,” He gestured for her to stop so that he’d finish on his stomach, but she didn’t stop, she went a bit faster. He somehow felt even closer to cumming when she didn’t move, meaning she wanted him to cum in her mouth, just the thought was enough to drive him over the edge. She did a mix of everything she’d been doing and Harry was getting louder and louder each second. It took everything in him not to thrust up and push her head down. 

It was the eye contact that got him to finish. She looked up with absolute adoration in her eyes, enjoying her view of his heaving chest, and he couldn’t help himself.

When Y/n felt the hot spurts of his cum fall down her throat, his hips jutted in pleasure. He hadn’t been able to control it. He cried out, “Y/n, fuck!”

When she finally pulled away cum dribbled down her chin and she quickly swiped it on her thumb, holding eye contact as she sucked it. “Mm.” She said. 

He felt limp and breathless. “C’mere,” He said and grabbed her. Her knees ached but she didn’t care, knowing they’d be bruised tomorrow. He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her, she was surprised by that. She’d heard from friends that a lot of guys really hated to kiss after a blowjob but Harry had not one single care.

“Your fuckin’ perfect, Y/n.” He said flipping them over as he kissed down her chest. “Can I touch you now, please?”

She nodded.

He stopped looking up, “Words, baby,”

“Yes. Of course, you can.” She said. “Get me out of this please,” She gestured to the dress and he obliged happily, throwing it across the room and nipping at her skin. Kissing every stretch mark, scar and mole. God, she was just perfect. 

“You are so beautiful, Y/n. And that mouth,” His thumb touched the bottom lip.

She blushed. “Oh, shoosh.”

“I’ve never cum so hard in my life y’know, I mean it.”

She giggled. “Really?”

“Yes, now accept the compliment and let me help you out.” He almost ordered and she obeyed. 

He sucked on her neck, nipping at it as she hissed, he soothed her by swiping his tongue back over that spot. Her hands were scratching his back as he moved down to her lacey undies. A pink bow stared back at him. 

He touched the waistband fiddling with the bow. “Cute.”

“Thanks, H.” She replied, trying not to shy away. 

“He’s an idiot.” Harry muttered mostly to himself, Y/n frowned confusedly. 

Her hand moved from his back to his hair, gently touching him. “What?”

“That wanker who stood y’up, I mean fuckin’ hell, did you do all this for him? Got all sexy n’ wear these jus’ f’him do that ta’ ya’?” His words were slurring more, he was so drunk on her and tired from his orgasm.

She sighed, “It’s for you,” she whispered. If the flat wasn’t dead silent he might’ve missed it. 

“Say that again.” 

She looked down at him. “I- It’s stupid, Harry, forget it.”

He moved away from her soaking underwear. “No, tell me.”

She shut her eyes, knowing how stubborn he was, and that didn’t change even in the bedroom. “I did it for you. It’s always for you.”

“All this for lil’ ol’ me?” He teased her loving how shy she got even after what she’d just done to him. “Beginnin’ to think you only want to fuck me.” He bit the waistband of her underwear and she couldn’t take it anymore.

He knew that wasn’t true but he loved to see her roll her eyes. 

She whined, “Harry, please.”

“Please what?” He looked up at her. His green eyes were mostly just pupil now. 

She tugged his hair, “I need you to do something, please, just help me,”

“Shh, Love, I know.” He took the underwear off and saw the mess between her legs. Another thing he’d be jerking off to later, her inner thighs were soaked and she was dripping. His middle finger slid up the lips collecting the messy slick. 

“For me?”

She sighed, with a shiver. “Only you.”

He began to rub her clit at that comment, feeling her throb against him. She was whimpering and moaning softly and it was just how he imagined but even better. Her hands tugged his brown locks and he moved a hand to her mouth. Holding up two fingers, ring and middle, against her lips. 

“Suck please.” He said softly. He didn’t think they’d need it considering there was a damp spot underneath her already, he just liked to watch her do it. 

When they were wet enough he pulled them back out and slid one inside her dripping hole. She cried out, 

“Shit.”

He pumped slowly, letting her grow used to the sting. “Yours are so much bigger than mine.” She whined desperately. 

He began to pick up the pace when her hips moved against his hand and slowly added the second finger when he felt she was ready. When she began to squirm from the pleasure he used his other hand to hold her hips flat and he kissed her stomach every now and then.

Offering words of encouragement. “Yes, that’s it, you can take it.”

When she began to grow closer he could tell by the way she clenched around his fingers. 

She whimpered when he gave a rough circle on her clit. “Fuck me Harry, feels so good.”

He started to go deeper and harder, feeling her drip onto him. “So perfect like this. Takin' m' fingers.” 

He was taking mental pictures so he would never forget her face. All fucked out and filled with pleasure. When he curled his fingers inside her, grazing that spongey spot that made her scream and curl her toes, she moved a hand to his wrist not stopping him just in a warning.

“M’ close, H.”

He smirked. “Cum for me, Baby.” His other hand found her clit and sped up the process. It was seconds later that she felt it come on, a wave washing over her entire body. 

“Fuck! I’m coming!” She cried body twitching and squirming wildly as he helped her through it. 

“Harry!” She screamed, and he felt her squirt all over his hand as she finished. 

Once he finished helping her ride it out he stopped, slowly pulling his hand away and looking up at her. Her eyes were shut and she looked completely ruined. He was happy with that, it meant he’d done his job.

“You okay?”

She opened her eyes. “I didn’t know I could ever feel that good.” She said seriously and he smiled. 

“Was m’pleasure, Love.”

When she sat up, she noticed how wet his hand was and the dampness beneath before her eyes widened in embarrassment. “Oh, I’m sorry that’s embarrassing I didn’t mean to—”

“Embarrassing? Please Y/n I nearly came my pants. You’re so fucking hot. Look at you. Delicious.” 

She kissed him pulling him close too shy to say anything more.

“Do you want to stay the night?” She asked when she pulled away. He nodded and they, still kind of drunk, made their way to her bed stripping off the rest of their clothes and flopping into bed. 

He grabbed her and pulled her into his chest. “Happy New Year, Babe.”

“Happy New year.”

The following morning Y/n woke up alone in her bed. Her head thumped angrily punishing her for last night. She began to wonder if it was all a drunken fever dream but when she got up to wash her face she saw the hickey he’d left her on her neck, and she saw that the bathroom was slightly damp, meaning he’d had a shower before leaving. 

She tried not to feel hurt at him leaving without a goodbye but she did remember saying last night that it would be just a one-time thing as friends. She didn’t know what she expected really. She had a quick shower washing the night off, she was sticky and smelt of sex. 

When she got out she wandered into her kitchen in just a towel sluggishly, bent over to see the contents of her fridge all she had was off milk and a leftover Chinese takeaway container. She was hungry. She sighed, knowing she’d have to go out and buy food. When she turned she jumped letting out a small shout. 

Harry was sitting at the table with some coffee and pastries, he’d scared the shit out of her.

“Jesus! How long were you there?”

“The whole time, waited for you to notice me. I got us some food and coffee, didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful.”

She suddenly felt subconscious in just this small towel, in the daylight. Her eye bags were probably heavy and she doubted she looked pretty. He noticed her squirm.

“I hope you don’t mind that I used your shower.”

She shook her head memories flooding back from last night. She felt embarrassed. “‘Course not.”

“I’m gonna change I’ll be right back.” Before he could say anything else she’d left. 

When she came back in a knitted jumper and some red boxer shorts she’d bought for sleep, he smiled up at her. “I got your favourite, well, I hope it’s still your favourite anyway.”

He’d even gone to the effort to put it on a little china plate. It was a custard danish pastry. She smiled butterflies flooding her tummy, she placed her hand there without noticing before she turned to him. 

“You didn’t have to do all this, H. I know that it was just a drunken thing we did. You don’t have to be so nice to me. I understand how these things go.”

She remembered the times she’d have to pretend Harry was out when all he’d done is hide in her room until the girls from the night before left their flat. 

He looked up, slightly hurt by that. Did she really think that of him? “You’re my oldest friend, I wouldn’t do that.”

She frowned before sitting beside him and grabbing the coffee he’d brought. “Things won’t change, right? We are still Y/n and Harry, aren’t we?”

He placed a hand on her thigh. “Of course, always, bun.”

She smiled up at him taking a bite of her pastry, some custard falling down her chin. Harry got a flash of last night of her moaning his name and he wondered if what he said was true. Would he be able to move on from this?

if you enjoyed this feel free to check out my masterlist here! xxx feel free to request me!

[nsharks]

bleeding blue | apocalypse au

part nine —other parts

pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!reader words: 3.2k tags: death. blood. zombies of course. reader menstruates. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn't here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival. a/n: no comment

The beam gave a nasty cut to your hand.

Tetanus, blood, infections— more threats.

You sit on a rock by the river to fix it up. Before you can dab on the hydrogen peroxide from your new med kit, Blue insists on doing it for you— soft fingertips against your broken skin. She is by far a gentler nurse than her father. You focus on her pink cheeks and scrunched nose as she concentrates. It helps you ignore the sting.

"You scared the shit out of me for a second there, Twix.”

"Sorry. I guess I need to work on my balance."

She gives a stilted laugh. The gauze comes next, just a thin layer since the bleeding has already stopped.

"Thanks for asking him to help me," you add in a whisper. You smile. "I don't think I've ever had a friend save my life so many times."

Blue cuts the gauze and begins tying it off. "I didn't actually have to ask him this time, you know. Like I said, he doesn’t hate you.”

You glance to where Ghost has taken the short break to lean against a tree and drink some water, pale jaw and pink lips exposed. An actual human hides under all that gear and horrifying mask. It annoys you that he doesn't just take it off.

You look back at her, eyes rolling. “You're lying."

She closes the med kit and shrugs. “Friends don't lie."

The afternoon sun bleeds white light over your cheeks as the three of you keep walking. Just meters away from the river, Ghost points out a small cabin. One that hunters used back in the day, you bet. He says it could be a good place to stay for the night. The scent of the rushing water nearby should do some to mask your human scent.

Rolling hills take place of the trees. To the west, you can see the faint outline of mountains dipped in white snow. Well, as much of mountains as you can find in England. They are not nearly as tall as the ones your parents used to take you skiing to in France.

You grow quiet and let Blue do all the talking. Maybe you are embarrassed after almost falling into the river.

Just when she asks - How much further? - something strange pops up in the distance. White medical tents— well, you assume they were once white. They are now torn and grey, with some blue crates beneath them. Confusion swells in your chest and you can't help but speak up.

"Why is this all here?" you ask, your boots stepping over some stray medical tools. Scalpels, tweezers, and syringes. Pressed into the rich earth like fossils. You would pick them up if they weren't rusted past the point of being useful.

"I don't know," Blue answers. "Ghost?"

"Emergency medical camp the military set up," he says. 

"After shit happened?" she asks.

He gives a curt nod as he looks around at the remnants. "Those that were left were tryin' to help survivors in the first few days. Didn't last long, though."

"Is that what your friends were doing after you ditched them?"

"Told you, kid. They weren't my friends."

"Alright, teammates. Whatever. Were they helping with injured people here?" she asks curiously.

"A few of them were.”

Blue looks at you. "Twix, did I ever tell you about that?"

"Um. About what?"

"Well, Ghost was supposed to be working when shit happened," she raises her brows and juts a thumb at him. "But he snuck away from his post to get all our stuff and come find me and my mum."

You swallow at the mention of her mom and avoid looking at Ghost. "Snuck away?"

"Yeah," she nods, "It's called dessert."

"Desertion," he gruffly corrects her.

"What?" you ask.

"He abandoned his assignment," she explains. "But he always says he would do it again if he had to. Anyway, he used to talk to his teammates on his radio to see how they were and stuff— what was happening. But then they got too far away for it to work."

Of course Ghost had a radio.

Paul had one, too. You can remember huddling around that radio like it was a mouthpiece for some god. The static grew choppier and choppier over the first few days. The channels dwindled. Eventually, it stopped working altogether and you didn't learn much about what happened in the outside world. You did learn that London was one of the quickest cities to succumb to the infection. Then, Paris, Bangkok, and Chicago.

Everywhere.

You process the new information as you keep walking through the tents, peering into some opened crates to see if anything is left— nothing is.

Now you know Ghost left his post when he found out about the virus. He stocked up on supplies and then got Blue and her mom. By the way Blue mentions her, it must be an old loss. How long did her mother survive with them, then? Did she use to live in the cabin with them?

You don’t know why your stomach grows tight, but the questions in your brain fade once the military base comes into view.

"Finally," Blue sighs rather dramatically.

A high, chain-link fence surrounds the place. There are a few buildings and some abandoned vehicles that look like jeeps. The fence has multiple gaps cut into it so climbing is unnecessary. Ghost leads the way. You continue sniffing the air. With your bandaged hand, you keep your bow poised and subconsciously walk closer to their footsteps. 

Ghost takes you to the main building in the center. The British flag flutters beside it on a pole, faded and as meaningless as the one sewn on Ghost’s bicep.

"Are we going through the barracks again this time?" Blue perks up.

"We have to go through 'em to get to the armory,” he says.

"Cool. There might be some good shit left behind."

There isn't much good shit, actually.

You don't know what the other military base they went to was like, but this one is unsettling and seems to be ransacked. Sunlight pours in through the shattered windows. Scattered papers and strewn bones decorate the tile floors. Thick cobwebs hang in the corners.

As you walk through the hallway of old dorms, Blue and Ghost stop looking in them after the first four turn out to contain only tipped-over cots, walls smeared with old blood, and even a few scampering vermin that make her yelp and grab hold of Ghost's arm.

He grows stiffer than usual. You don’t have to pry off the skull mask to know what he is thinking. Ghost is not the only person who thought of coming here. If these rooms are mostly empty, then what is left in the armory?

Still, you check out a few more of them on your own as they walk up ahead. You rummage through closets and drawers. You find three pairs of men's socks. More useful than one might think.

In one room, you kneel down by the unkempt cot to dig a black backpack out from under it. You can’t believe that Ghost, as big as he is, ever slept on these things. The backpack’s zipper catches as you try to open it, the metal teeth rusted, so you cut a hole in the fabric with your knife. Inside, you find another military-grade knife to add to your arsenal and some wrapped ready-to-eats.

When you check the closet, the sight of a full skeleton causes you to jump back in a startled step, a few rats running out between your boots.

"Oh, fuck," you mutter, noticing a bullet hole in the skull. A handgun lies beside the body, but you discover the magazine to be empty. Whatever bullet it once had was likely spent on this person's suicide. You stick it in your bag, anyway. A preserved uniform hangs loose on the bones. There is a mouth-sized tear in the forearm of the right sleeve, fitting for a bite. In the breast pocket, a silver chain spills out. Curiously, you grab it. A dog tag with an engraved name catches the light. John MacTavish. You run a thumb over the letters.

“Sorry, John.”

You decide to respectfully put it back in the pocket, and head out, satisfied enough with your modest finds. It’s not like you own as much as Ghost does. You leave the room and run to catch back up with them.

"You okay? Find anything?" Blue asks.

"Not much," you quietly admit. "A knife and some new socks."

"Finally. Your old ones are starting to stink," she remarks with a playful smirk.

You scrunch your nose at her, making a face. “Gee, thanks."

She returns the teasing gesture just before Ghost’s arm ushers her behind him.

The moment he does, your guard rises back up. You slap an arrow onto your bow. You smell them before you see them. Four - no, five - drag out of opened doorways up ahead along with a cacophony of whistled moans. Most are still dressed in the same military uniforms as the skeleton you found. One isn't wearing anything at all. It’s disgusting.

Ghost doesn't bother to let Blue practice this time.

He shoots the faster, fresher one first as it runs up to them. For the slower ones, he saves his ammo and opts for the axe. The sight of him effortlessly striking their skulls is almost enough to distract you. Almost. Your fingers release the string and send a headshot to the last one. It is a perfect shot. An arrow straight through the milky-white eye. One of your best.

You meet his eyes just as he slips the axe back to his waist, shooting him a raised brow. The two of you hold an awkwardly long stare-off. Though you loathe to admit it, you hope for some type of approval - for once - but all he gives is a short nod.

Blue retrieves the arrow for you and you tuck it back into your quiver.

"Great aim, Twix," she quips. "Where did you learn how to use your bow?"

"My old friend taught me a bit," you say as the three of you step over the fallen corpses.

"What was his name again?"

"Paul."

"Oh, right." She pauses, and then: "Were you having sex with him?"

"Jesus Christ, kid," Ghost says.

"What?" She peers up at him.

Before he can say anything else, you answer with a light flush crawling up your neck, “No, I wasn’t. He was just my friend.”

The three of you make it to the armory.

The aluminum door is already parted open. Ghost clicks on a flashlight and gives the room a quick sweep of fluorescent light before entering.

A number of pried-open crates and olive-green cabinets litter the inside. Drawers hang open like a tornado ripped through. A few stray rifles lay scattered on the floor. Ghost picks up each one and checks for cartridges. Empty. Each rifle is thrown back on the floor with more force than the previous. He needs more ammo, not more guns.

Whatever was in this armory is gone. This truth hangs heavy in the air. The mood shifts. Blue doesn’t talk. Billows of growing frustration roll off Ghost's body as he continues to search through every crevice and every drawer for almost an hour.

You know what he is feeling, even if he half-expected this.

It is a feeling that made you cry in the empty pharmacy. For Ghost, it ends up driving a clenched fist into one of the cabinets, dented metal left in its wake. He swears explosively. Another shudder runs through your spine, stealing your breath, but it feels far different from the one his soft voice invited.

"Is there... is there anywhere else we can check, Dad?" Blue speaks up softly. “Maybe in all those cars outside?”

He takes a moment to breathe before answering. "We don't have time to check ‘em all.”

“Well, maybe we could come back in the morning and look a bit more?”

“Maybe,” he says, but you read the tone in his voice. It is unlikely there is ammo left in the vehicles, and even if there is, it is definitely not as much as he was hoping to have found in here.

Before leaving, he stuffs one of the rifles in his backpack. An uncomfortable silence consumes the journey back through the hall.

You make it outside again. The afternoon has aged. You need to get back to that hunting cabin by the river before the threat of dark.

Ghost guides you back towards the fence.

You hear Blue's soft humming. The flap of the old flag. Your own steady heartbeat.

And then, out of nowhere, he stops and grabs Blue's arm to bring her to a halt beside him. He looks around. Confused, you scan the view up ahead of you, but all that is there are a few of those military jeeps and the fence you entered through. You sniff the air. It doesn't smell particularly awful. 

Then, the cause for Ghost's unease arrives loud in your ears.

A single gunshot sounds from a direction you can't discern. Your heart stutters. The suddenness freezes you for a moment. In your peripheral, you think you catch a brush of movement in some bushes to your right.

Ghost quickly pulls Blue behind one of the vehicles for cover. Only when you feel the rush of another bullet whizzing past your shoulder do your legs finally move— so fast that your feet catch on the ground and you stumble down beside them. Your knees dig into the earth as you land on your hands, but you quickly lift up and press your shoulder against the side of the car. 

You choke. "Ghost… people."

People are fucking shooting at us, is what you mean to say. Panic steals your voice.

Who? How many?

Another bullet ricochets off the other side of the car, clanking against the metal. And then another. Glass shatters. 

Ghost doesn't respond to you. Underneath the loud sounds, a soft voice whimpers. You finally look to where Blue is propped up against the large tire, Ghost kneeling at her front. His hand is tightly clamped over the side of her right thigh, and it is now that you notice the blood soaking through her jeans and his glove.

Blue's blood.

Crimson and glistening.

She whimpers again and her fingers twist the fabric of his coat.

"Dad, it— it feels like it's burning," she cries out, her cheeks turning wet from a sudden onslaught of tears.

"Fuck. I know, baby. I know."

She flinches when another gunshot rings out. "W-What do we do?"

You try to form a proper thought— try to make sense of everything. Before you can, Ghost grabs your hand, firmly replacing his hold on her wound with yours. The warm liquid immediately drenches your palm and you swallow, pressing as hard as you can, attempting to pack it crudely.

He speaks decisively. "Stay here with her. Wrap it up.”

"Ghost, you don't know how many fucking people there are," you say, panic turning your voice into something unrecognizable as you place your other hand on his arm. The muscles tense and leap.

“I didn't fucking ask you. I am telling you. Now do it."

He doesn’t give you the opportunity to protest again, but you wouldn’t even if he did because you fully realize that this is the best course of action. He needs to get rid of them. You need to tend to her wound. A strangled cry leaves Blue's lips when he departs. You coax her with soft hushes.

"It’s okay. He'll be right back.”

Urgently, you sling the bag off your shoulder and take out your own med kit. You don’t think twice about it. Not for a second. Not when all you can think about is making sure her soft, blue eyes stay open. When you move your hand from her thigh, the sight worries and relieves you at the same time.

You don't know much about bullet wounds, but you know where the femoral artery runs, and by the looks of it, it was missed. Still, a nice chunk of her flesh has been torn, revealing obliterated muscle. You don't see any bone or bits of metal, but it is hard to see much of anything with all the blood.

With fingers that shake, you use the same gauze she nursed your hand with to begin tightly dressing her thigh. As you do, your eyes flash up and around in a feeble search for where Ghost could be, but you can’t see him from behind the vehicle.

"Is it bad?" she asks, voice laced with a tremor. When your gaze returns to her, you notice that pale lips replace her usual rosy-pink ones. Her forehead is sheened with sweat.

"It looks worse than it is," you say.

"Are you... are you telling me the truth?"

"I am. Promise," you whisper. "Friends don't lie, right?"

Sporadic gunfire continues to pierce your ears. It sounds more distant now. You have no idea if it belongs to Ghost or whoever these people are. You push the uncertainties away, assuring yourself that he can handle however many of them there are, and focus on tying off the gauze, desperate to keep her blood in.

Blue suddenly blurts out, “Twix.”

You look up and meet her eyes. They are pointed at something behind you.

[hamiltonaf]

Hello ! Can I request a Lewis x reader who's a famous singer and he attend her concert please ? Him reacting to the songs she wrote for him and how it end up a bit smutty with they finf each other backstage ?

Fantasize | Lewis Hamilton

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Female Reader

Word Count: 1.1K

Warnings: Slight smut

A/N: Hello my loves ! The song inspo for this oneshot is Fantasize by Ariana Grande. Thank you anon for requesting. Hope you babes enjoy. Requests are open .xx

From long nights in the studio a few weeks ago to now going on tour felt like a breath of fresh air. The tour was starting off at home, in London. Excited, though my nerves took over me - even though I’ve been doing this for so many years now, I should be used to it, but not when I have a special guest attending…my situationship, Lewis.

Our situationship goes back about 3 months ago, when my PR manager thought it would be a good idea for me to date Lewis. I haven’t been in the dating light for quite a hot minute and apparently I needed to get back to it so people had something to talk about, especially since everyone nowadays is a fan of F1. Surprisingly his PR manager had agreed on it and apparently we would make a good looking couple.

It started when I attended the race in Miami, no one questioned it or got ‘suspicious’ because almost every A list celebrity attended. 3 weeks later I attended the Monaco GP, yet again I was a guest for Mercedes so people started to slowly talk about it. Didn’t go to any other race for a whole month since I had song writing and recording to do in studio. People really started to talk when I went to the British GP, not a coincidence to anyone that I’m from England but because my rumoured ‘boyfriend’ is British.

I grew to love the sport and let’s say my feelings also grew for Lewis. It felt a bit forced at first since we were patched by our PR team, but the more time we spent together alone, the more we learnt about each other’s true self. From sweet and shy to daring and flirty.

Lewis’ rizz is unmatched to any man that I’ve met or been with. He can start off as such a gentleman but can so smoothly move onto flirting with me and making me feel weak at my knees. Speaking of weak, we’re back to feeling that way now since Lewis was on a break in between races and decided that he wanted to attend to support me. For some reason he just makes me feel nervous, in a good way of course, I don’t even feel nervous to perform around friends or family or even my fans for crying out loud…wait, am I in love ? I’m pretty sure this is what it feels like to be in love and here I am being in denial about my feelings.

I was backstage warming up my vocals whilst getting my hair and makeup touched up, when we all heard a knock at the door. My manager walked over to the door and stepped aside as she held it wide open without a word, I looked through the mirror to see it was Lewis. “Aww Lew ! So glad you could make it” I smiled as I watched him walk towards me. “I’m so glad to be here. Very excited to see you perform tonight. Nervous ?” He asked as he rubbed my shoulders. My PR manager then escorted everyone out from the room so we were left alone.

“Very nervous but excited for the most part” I smiled as I then stood up to face him. “Don’t be, you got this. I’ll be cheering you on from the side. Just look to your left and you’ll see me” he smiled. “You’re so cute. Thanks for that, I’ll be looking out for you.” Just then my PR manager yells through the door, “(Y/N) you need to get dressed !”

I shut my eyes for a second, “Okay give me 5” I yelled. “Can I stay to watch ?” He smirked. “No, Sir. See you after the show” I felt the heat rush to my cheeks. I then turned him around by his shoulders and guided him to the door. “Just a peak” he pleaded as he bit his bottom lip. “Stop or I might just cave in. Bye” I blushed as I held on the door handle. “I’ll try my luck later. Break a leg” he said softly, he then caught me by surprise by giving me a sweet kiss and a wink before rushing out.

I finally got dressed, had another round of touch ups and put on my ear piece before heading out back stage for my entrance. I still felt flustered and I couldn’t stop thinking about Lewis. I really need to get my feelings off my chest after the show.

Out of the thousands of people screaming and looking at me I could feel a particular pair of eyes burning into me, when I took a quick glance to my left, he was right there as he said. His phone in hand, recording me looking his way. I shook my head and looked back towards the fans.

On the last verse, the energy in the stadium was ecstatic.

Mentally, physically weak

Boys blowin’ up my phone

They just ain’t you, ooh, baby

…

Tryin’ to behave, but I’m feelin’

Some type of way

That just ain’t me

The band and I took a bow before I gave a vote of thanks to the fans for coming, and for all the love they’ve shown on the album. After rushing off stage to my dressing room, my mind was running with thoughts of Lewis. Speaking of the man himself, he was already seated in my dressing room. “Hey gorgeous. You did amazing out there. I’m so so proud of you” he rushed over to me as he pulled me in for a hug. “Yet again, thanks for coming. It really means a lot” he then broke away from our hug with a serious look. “I was supposed to tell you this before you left and I can’t hold it in any longer”

“Okay well same and it’s eating me up inside to hold it back” I said as I took a deep breath. “I love you” we said simultaneously. “Oh my gosh” I lowly said. “Are you joking ?” He asked with the biggest smile on his face. “Lew this isn’t something to joke about” I said seriously. “Then please be mine, officially” he said as he then wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me against him. “I thought you’d never ask” I grinned as I leaned in and closed the gap between us.

“As sexy as this dress looks on you, it needs to come off” he said in between kisses. The kiss got heated by the second as his hands trailed from squeezing my bum to the straps of my dress, pulling them off my shoulders. Just then there was a knock at the door. Shit. “Babe your car is here !” my PR manager shouted. “Damn it” I said frustrated and heated. “Well I guess we’ll have to continue this in the car” he said as he helped me adjust the straps of my dress - he grabbed a hold of my hand and pulled me along with him, eagerly waiting to continue this in the car.

[lethalchiralium]

Ducks | Simon “Ghost” Riley x Wife!Reader

a/n: listen… i don’t have to explain anything. i think we all are onboard with great dad simon

warnings: vague mentions of simon’s trauma, mentions of you (you’re not really in this one), winnie and mellie being cute kids because i said so, mentions of miscarriage but he’s explaining it in a good way to winnie, mentions of medicine

summary: It’s hot in England, so it’s time to pull out the plastic kiddie pool and dip toes in the frighteningly cold water. Winnie finds a new friend.

PREVIOUS << | >> NEXT | SERIES MASTERLIST

“She can be Duckling too!”

Winnie pushed the little ducks in her plastic kiddie pool around, making them tap Simon’s leg that was in the water. He looked down at the little mini you in between his calves, sitting against the very small wall of the little pool and admiring the little octopus in her hand.

The sun was beaming down and even with the windows open, Simon was sweating up a storm. What better idea than to take out the foot tall kiddie pool, fill it with water and toys so he and his girls can stay cool? Even though he wouldn’t be sitting on a chair next to the pool with his feet in the water, he still had his dark blue swim trunks on and a white t-shirt, sunglasses on his eyes but his gaze never left the water. Even a moment’s look away can kill, he knew it was able to happen.

Winnie was sat in her light green swimsuit with her hair messily done up, Simon had pulled it into a little high ponytail but there were strands poking out from the top. The curls she got from her mom always gave Simon a little tug on his heart - if he could tell Winnie’s mom one thing right now, it would be that her daughter was happy.

Mellie cooed from her snug seat between Simon’s feet, little hands splashing down her smaller toys into the water.

“Or Duckie.” Winnie suggested. “I like Duckie, Melsie can be Duckie.”

“What if I like a different nickname?” Simon asked, leaning forwards to adjust Mellie’s mini boonie hat, purple with flowers, to make sure the sun didn’t hurt her little face. He almost heard his mum in his head, reminding him that all children need sunscreen, even babies!

Winnie hummed a little, splashing down one of her bigger yellow rubber ducks, the water spraying on Mellie. “I like Duckie.” The baby giggled, splashing her own duck back at her sister. The older girl smiled wide. Simon glanced up at the sky before back down to his daughters, deciding to grab the sunscreen stick beside his chair. He uncapped it, holding a hand out for Winnie. “C’mere, little love.”

The five year old glared at her father, almost grumbling as she stood out of the now lukewarm water, moving out of it so he was able to reach her. Her little hand was so small compared to his huge bear paw of a hand, yet he held hers with care as he began to smear sunscreen on her little face. Her nose scrunched, eyebrows furrowed as she complained, “I’m fine, Daddy!”

A stripe of sunscreen down her nose almost made Winnie stomp her foot if it wasn’t for Mellie giggling. The big sister was now distracted as she peered around Simon’s legs to see what the baby was doing, he wiped the sunscreen stick on every showing part of skin on his daughter, knowing that his mother would come from the grave to kill him if he didn’t. “Melsie!” Winnie squealed, a smile on her face, he could feel the baby’s head hit his leg to look for her big sister.

His nose twitched as he recognized how he thought of his mother more now, and not in the way he used to. He used to dream about her tears, her arms shielding him from his father, her hands settled on his face to tell him that it’s okay. Now, it was like she was making her presence known by forcing him to think about her again.

Simon Riley wanted his mother and brother to meet the little girls playing in the water in his backyard, wanted his mother to have been here while you were pregnant with Mellie. He wanted his mother here to hold him one last time, and tell him that he was doing this right - because he was flying blind.

As soon as the last swipe of sunscreen went to Winnie’s hand, she tugged herself from his grasp and got back into the pool, purposefully sitting in front of her sister in the water. She began to pull her bigger plastic dolls and rubber ducks towards Mellie, a smile on her little face. The toy haul was short-lived when Simon pulled Mellie up and out of the water, settling her on his lap so he could see her face. The baby scrunched her nose just like her sister did, all he had to do was swipe the sunscreen on her feet, hands and face since her swimsuit covered the rest of her little body. He was a little more gentle with Mellie, holding her back as she shook her head, trying to escape the sunscreen. She let out a little huff, eyes that matched his stared at him with an intensity like his own. He was happy that Winnie didn’t stare as a baby, but Mellie stares like he does when he’s on deployment - like the person on the receiving end is going to die.

Please tell me there’s a way to make babies forget how to stare.

White streaks on Mellie’s skin meant she would be protected from the sun for at least another couple hours or so, he made sure to get her little chubby chin. The baby squealed a little, her hands always trying to grab for the sunscreen yet failing.

“Well, Wins, you call her Melsie,” The baby in question cooed at the nickname as Simon looked to his oldest daughter. “Why do you want her to have another nickname?”

“For you, Daddy!” Winnie smiled, brown eyes warm in the sunshine. He capped the sunscreen stick, tossing it to the ground before moving Mellie to have her actually sit on his lap, her back against his stomach. The baby began to kick out her legs, whining as he kept his hand on her belly, keeping her secure to his body.

Winnie pulled out a small duck from the pool, holding it up and towards Mellie, who cooed and reached for it. “Melsie’s mine, but I’m Duckling too! She can be Duckie or something, what do you want to call her?” Winnie looked up to her dad as her sister took the duck in her hand, curiously inspecting it. “She can be Duckie.”

“I like Bug.” He said, a smile on his face while Winnie lit up - her smile even wider.

“Buggie!” She declared, moving away from him and out of the pool, beginning to run around the small grass backyard.

Simon’s attention went to Mellie, who was now looking up at him and squinting. “Hi, Bug.” The baby babbled, lifting up her duck towards his face. He then picked her up again, moving down and placing her in the water in between his feet again. She kicked out her legs, splashing the water and giggling. She threw the duck down into the water, letting the water spray out of the little pool.

“Daddy!” Called Winnie, his head snapped up and whipped to his left, scanning the small yard for Winnie - his eyes widened.

Winnie stood by the little yellow shed, a wide smile on her face as she held up what looked like a kitten.

“Only my kid,” He mumbled to himself before picking Mellie up - who protested by screeching in annoyance - and placing her against his chest, water dripped down his shirt as he stood. “Winnie, put it down.”

“It’s a cat!” She exclaimed, the little thing squirmed in her harsh grasp. “Daddy, it’s a cat!”

“I can see that.” He answered, stalking towards his oldest daughter. He was not a fan of pets, definitely ones that his daughter probably scooped up out of the garden. “Put it down.”

Winnie’s nose scrunched again as she pulled the kitten back into her chest, the little thing barely even moved. “No.”

Simon almost stopped walking towards her, eyebrows furrowed. She had never defied him before, and he sure as Hell was not going to make a scene because he knew that if she cried, it would be over for him. He’s break instantly and do whatever she wanted. He took in a small breath through his nose. “Winnie, you need to put it down. It’s dirty.”

“She’s sick, Daddy.” Winnie mumbled, looking down at the ground as he finally reached her. He kneeled in front of her, she looked away. He could clearly see the kitten now, it was small and dirty - it looked barely a couple weeks old. His daughter met his gaze, her best puppy eyes being used as she whispered, “Can we help her?”

There was nothing wrong with cats, he just didn’t like them. Scratching up furnishings, hairballs, peeing everywhere - well, that was what his brother’s cat was like when he was a kid, before his dad found it and it disappeared. Simon shook the memory from his head before sighing, keeping Mellie farther from the cat since she was trying to reach for it - the baby squirmed in frustration.

He scrunched his nose too, trying to decide if doing this was a good idea. Yes, responsibility for Winnie and blah blah blah, but he had no idea if his wife would be okay with it. She was sleeping right now and he didn’t want to bother her now so it was just him, his daughters, and a sickly looking kitten his eldest found somewhere. He sighed. “Mum’ll decide what to do later.” His daughter’s face lit up. He glared at her. “She’s not going to stay here, Winnie. We’ll wash her up and get her medicine, but then she has to go back to her mum, okay?” His hand goes to brush a small strand of hair behind Winnie’s ear, her smile quickly faded.

“But… I want to keep her.” Her bottom lip quivered, he sighed.

“It’s not up for discussion. Go inside and hold it, don’t let it wander.” He stood then, Winnie darted away towards the back door. He looked down to Mellie, who stared up at him with an annoyed face. He found it incredible that she was more like him than Winnie was, he smiled to her. She didn’t like it.

He followed his oldest daughter inside, moving to grab a towel he had placed on the counter to dry off Mellie. He pulled off her boonie hat before wrapping her in the fluffy towel, he wanted to go back outside so he moved to the living room and placed her in the mesh-fenced play pen, lined with soft toys. The baby no longer made her upset face and cooed as she unraveled herself from the towel to begin to play. He moved away towards the kitchen, finding Winnie standing next to the sink, the little kitten in her arms hadn’t moved. His eyebrows furrowed before he opened a drawer and grabbed a tea towel, holding it on his hand and saying, “Give it here.”

“You’re gonna put her outside.” Winnie’s bottom lip trembled, he sighed.

“Gotta wash it, Duckling. It might be injured.” He explained. “I won’t take it outside, I’m gonna wash it upstairs. Go play with your sister for me, it’ll be as good as new soon.”

Winnie looked up at her dad, weariness in her eyes before she gently pulled the little creature from her chest and gently placed it on the towel in his hand. He lifted it towards his face, now noticing the black cat with a dirty white face was barely even breathing. He turned away from his daughter, moving towards the stairs as his other hand began to gently poke at the kitten’s face, trying to get it to respond. He glanced behind himself, seeing that Winnie had found her way into the playpen with Mellie, and turned back to the upstairs. Taking the stairs two at a time, he made it to the hall bathroom, which was decorated with pinks, blues, and greens. He moved towards the sink, rubbing the little kitten’s face to try and wake it up.

After a few seconds of rubbing its face, its eye opened and revealed a light yellow eye. The little thing shuddered, he frowned. He pushed the drain plug into the sink drain with his free hand, then starting the faucet with warm water. The kitten barely moved an arm, he noted how frail she looked. Probably abandoned by her mum.

“Alright, Missy, let’s getcha cleaned up, yeah?”

The little thing pawed a little at the towel, he settled her on the counter before shutting off the water so it was just a little water in the basin. He gently settled it in the water, using Mellie’s baby soap to wash its fur. The kitten was still in his hand, little yellow eyes watching the water. He washed its back, looking for fleas, finding none. He inspected its neck and face too, no injuries or fleas - it must have been malnourished, he could very distinctly feel its bones. He gently washed its little face, the dirt falling away and revealing white rings around its eyes. It almost reminded him of his mask.

As soon as he was confident that the kitten was throughly washed and not injured, he grabbed a hand towel from underneath the sink - something that would be a lot softer on the creature. It had closed its eyes as soon as he gently wrapped it with the towel, he moved the small bundle to his chest as he pulled the drain plug. The water drained as he left the bathroom, silently walking down the stairs and to the living room.

Winnie was standing in the play pen, watching him intently as he walked towards them. He saw Mellie on her back, chewing on an ear of a stuffed dog. He chuckled a little as Winnie asked, “Is she okay now?”

He looked down at the kitten’s head, seeing its ear twitch a little. “She’s fine for now, kiddo. We’ll keep her ‘til she gets a little bigger, but then she has to go somewhere else.”

She pouted a little before holding her hands out, “Can I have my kitty please?”

He laughed humorlessly. “No.”

His daughter made a noise of confusion. “I asked nicely.”

“Yes, you did. But it’s too sick for you to take care of.” He answered. “You can have it when it’s better.”

Winnie scrunched her nose and turned away, sitting beside Mellie and refusing to look at him. He looked down at the little kitten, sleeping away in its little cocoon. He sighed, not wanting to believe that his little girl was getting big enough to have tantrums.

He spent the rest of his day taking care of the little kitten, keeping it in an open cardboard box with a couple towels in it, it slumbered away after he fed it was little cow’s milk he had left in the fridge. He made a mental note to go to the market in the morning as he now held Mellie on his chest, bouncing a little on his feet as he neared her crib. She was sound asleep and in comfy colorful pajamas, her little hand gripped his shirt. He slowly peeled off the baby from his chest, laying her on her back in her crib. He gently pet her head, whispering a sweet good night before leaving her room.

He then walked down the dark hallway to Winnie’s room, her lamp illuminating her room as she laid in her bed, facing away from the door. He saw her green bear on the floor next to her bed, he quietly stalked into the room to grab it. As soon as he grabbed it, he almost jumped back when Winnie turned towards him, annoyance on her face. He held out the bear names Pricey to her, she took it.

“I’m not giving the cat away for fun, you know.” He whispered, kneeling beside her bed. “It’s for the best.”

She stared at him. “What if Mummy wants a kitty?”

He shrugged. “It’s not good a time to have a cat right now, honey. Mum’s still sick.” He hated not being able to help ease his wife’s pain, going through a miscarriage of a baby you really wanted was tough - it was rough for him too, but he put his children first to let you take the time you needed.

“Mummy’s been sick for forever.” She murmured, arms wrapped around her bear. “Why can’t she get better so I can have a kitty?”

He fought the urge to roll his eyes, moving to tug her blanket up to her chin. He spoke with a gentle calmness, “Remember when Mum told you you’re gonna have a brother?” Winnie nodded. “And then he went away?” His daughter nodded again, he sighed. “He put Mum in a lot of pain, both in her tummy and in her heart. She feels sick all the time,” He gently brushed Winnie’s curls around her ear as he looked into her brown eyes. “Mum just needs all the love she can get and a long time to feel better.”

“The kitty can love her.” She whined, pouting a little.

“Mum only feels better when you and Mellie and me love her, Duckling.” He was losing the battle, knowing that Winnie would end up winning by outsmarting him with her little kid brain. That’s when he had an idea. He retracted his hand from her head, saying, “Once the cat gets better, I’ll give it to Uncle Soap until Mum gets better. Then you can ask her about the cat, okay?”

This way the cat would get attached to Soap and never have to be back in the house. Great idea, hope he’s not allergic. You know what? I hope he is. It’s what he deserves for pranking my ass every chance he gets.

His daughter nodded, whispering, “Can you name my kitty, Daddy?”

His eyes widened a little, lips pressed into a thin line. “Why don’t you name it?”

“I don’t want to.” She shrugged, he sort of laughed.

“Alright, Duckling. We’ll call her Missy.”

The girl smiled. “What’s her real name then?”

His eyebrows furrowed, he grew confused. “What do you mean?”

“My name is Winter, but it’s also Winnie.” His daughter then yawned, her eyes fluttering to try and fight off sleep. He gently settled his hand on her cheek, her little hand sat on top of his.

He almost smiled, almost broke his straight face as he said, “Missile Launcher.”

His daughter smiled so wide as she giggled, “Okay!” Yep, she’s just like me.

“Alright, now go to sleep.” He leaned forwards and kissed her forehead.

He moved to stand but Winnie spoke, “Tell Pricey good night too, Daddy.”

He sighed, facing her bear and saying, “Good night, Pricey.” He gently pat his daughter’s face before he stood and turned to her lamp, turning it off. Her little nightlight beside the door now dimly illuminated the room, he whispered, “Love you, little love.”

She whispered a little, “Love you too, Daddy.”

He was silent when he left her room, closing the door behind him before making his way to his bedroom. He closed the door behind himself, his own lamp illuminated the room. You were curled into a ball on your side of the bed, his pillow tucked under your chin as you faced his side. He moved towards the bed, being careful of the cardboard box settled on the floor next to his side. He peered into the box, observing the little black kitten until he could see it breathing. He then got into bed, reaching to shut off his lamp before moving towards you.

He would be okay without a pillow to sleep on, but he would never be okay not holding you as you were in pain. He rested his head halfway on the pillow, his arms coming to pull you into him. You murmured in your medicine induced slumber, the sleeping pills giving you a while without pain. He kissed her forehead, gently brushing his hand down your back.

He’d ask you about the cat beside your bed later.

taglist: @sigynxlokiwifelover @lumpypoll @multitargaryen @chloeforde @blueoorchid @vir-tual

Copyright © 2023 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.

[veronicaphoenix]

Title: Into the Abyss of Bad Habits — Part Three | Words: 10k

Tags & trigger warnings: unresolved to resolved feelings, polyamorous relationship, angst to fluff and comfort, mentions of anxiety, sexual content, including threesome, p in v (protected), oral sex (both receiving), overstimulation, edge play, slight bondage, blindfolding, mentions of spankings, double penetration. (Let me know if I'm missing sth).

Author’s note: here it finally goes :) this is for you all. Thank you for reading and sharing your reactions 💕

INTO THE ABYSS OF BAD HABITS — PART THREE

“Where are you?” My brother’s voice reached my ears through the phone line.

I stopped the absent-minded tracing of letter on the surface of my Costa Coffee cup and furrowed my brow. “What do you mean, ‘where am I’? I’m in England. I told you I’d be here until—”

“I know you’re in England, smartass,” he retorted. He was likely in his office, settling into his morning routine in Los Angeles, while it was mid-afternoon in the UK. “I mean, where exactly? I got a call from Noah twenty minutes ago. He’s freaking out because you’re nowhere to be found and you’re not answering his calls or messages.” 

“Oh.”

Noah had indeed tried reaching me several times since morning, calling and texting and then joining the iMessage group where Oliver had also added his fair dose of worried and then angry messages. I should have said something, I realized now, at least to reassure them that nothing had happened —besides getting fucked by both of them and feeling very sore—. 

The memories from last night flooded back and I tightened my grip on the cup of hot chocolate, tuning out the noise of the people around me. 

When I left the hotel that morning, I walked far from it hoping a change of scenery might clear my head and provide some clarity on what I’d done and its implications for my relationships with Noah and Oliver. But even after skipping lunch for a coffee at Starbucks, then trying my luck with a hot chocolate at Costa, nothing seemed to help.    

I was doomed, and my brother’s call was the last thing I needed.

Jack called my name repeatedly until he had to raise his voice, pulling me from my thoughts. “Are you there? What’s going on?”

“Yeah, I’m here. I’m—I’m just in a café. I was feeling suffocated with all the coming and going between hotels and venues, bus rides and all the work and…”

“Did something happen?”

“No,” I replied too quickly, knowing he’d detect the evasion.  

I could almost envision his raised eyebrow on the other end of the line. 

 “You slept with him again, didn’t you?”

“Jack, that’s none of your business.”

“I know, but you’re my sister and your well-being is, in fact, my business. I know something is up by the way Noah was speaking, and there was some Brit losing his mind in the background, too. What is this all about?”

“Jack, trust me, you don’t want to know.”

There was a silence coming from his side and my cheeks started burning. I glanced around nervously, feeling as thought every eye in the café was on me.

Jack’s sigh reached my end. 

“Listen, baby sis, whatever you’ve done, you need to fix it. This situation with Noah has been going on long enough, and you two are lying to each other,” he acknowledged. “If there’s a third party involved… Well, I don’t know. That’s your business but sort it out. Don’t bury your head in the sand. That’s not like you. You’ve always been the one preaching all that shit about talking about your feelings and communication being so important. Don’t shy away from it now. Whatever it is, I’m sure it can be fixed, and don’t be afraid of what might happen. You know you can always call me, whenever.”

I was the one rising an eyebrow now.

“How much has Noah told you?”

Jack chuckled.

“Just talk to them.”

Oh. 

There it was again. 

Them. 

I wondered if leaving had been a mistake, after all. 

Not long after my conversation with Jack, I returned to the hotel. 

As I stepped into the room, I was met with a potent blend of sex and masculinity that engulfed my senses. 

The bed was still unmade, a reminder of the recent sinful activities. I noticed the ‘do not disturb’ sign still hanging outside the door and decided to leave it be, my fingers tingling with the weight of my growing anxiety.  

Every time I looked towards the tousled sheets, vivid and colorful memories flooded my mind. I could see myself on top of Oliver, Noah behind me, the three of us drowning in a sea of collective groans, screams, and wails of pleasure. 

 I could also see their slumbering forms occupying each side of the bed. 

 To divert my mind, I looked for something else to do. I needed to sort out my things, indulge in a hot shower, maybe eat something or have another coffee. Instead, my eyes fell upon the lingerie set, neatly folded, and placed on the desk next to the TV remote. 

Which one of them took the time to gather the garments from the floor and fold them so meticulously?

My heart fluttered at the tender gesture, adding another drop of confusion to my ongoing crisis.  

I made a beeline for the shower. Noah’s and Oliver’s scent still lingered on my skin, and the love bites and hickeys wouldn’t leave me for a few days. I had no other choice but take my brother’s advice and pull myself together. 

After a grueling day spent replaying the events of the previous night and a near-anxiety attack in the confines of my hotel bathroom, I decided I had to talk to them. Hiding and pretending none of it had happened would only lead to further complications and would strain my relationship with Noah and Oliver to the point of ruining everything. I couldn’t afford to let it fester and seep into their professional lives. I would not let that happen. 

An hour slipped away while I debated when it would be the best time to approach them. 

Should I text them? Send a message on the iMessage group? Or should I just talk to them face to face? To one of them first or to both at the same time? 

By the time I resolved that this was something that needed to be talked to face to face and I gathered the courage to admit my mistake, evening had descended, and everybody was already at the venue where the bands were playing that night.

I was still unsure of where this would go. I’d had the entire day to think about my feelings and, well, I was still a mess. The only certainty I held onto was that I didn’t want to lose any of them, so I was willing to do whatever they said, whether it was keeping everything in professional terms, remain friends, or… 

Taking a deep breath, I watched as the Nicks and Jolly descended from the stage, their faces beaming with sweat and satisfaction. Jolly squeezed my shoulder as he passed by. In return I sent a faint smile his way. 

Moments later, Noah appeared, descending the metal steps clad in black pants and a tank top. His eyes briefly widened as he caught sight of me. He paused, the towel in his hand frozen mid-motion as he registered my presence. Then, without a word, he continued past me, following the same path as the rest of the band.  

“Noah,” I called out, a tinge of desperation in my voice. But amidst the hustle and bustle of the stage preparation for BMTH, my plea seemed to fall on deaf ears. 

Noah stopped, half-turning towards me. His gaze was cold, and he was angry. That much I could tell. 

I couldn’t fuck it up anymore, so the last thing left for me to do was to be honest. 

“I got scared,” I said, the words catching in my throat.  

“Scared?” He echoed, his tone sharp.

If I nodded, it was lost on me because his dark, penetrating gaze made me freeze on the spot, and when he drew nearer, my heart thundered in my chest.  

“No, you don’t get to tell me that you got scared,” he retorted, barely inches away from me, his voice low and intense. His scent enveloped me: he smelled just the same as last night, except for the missing addition of my own sweat and the magical residual scent of sex.  

I wanted him again. I wanted him covered in sweat from the heat of our intimacy, of our entwined bodies. 

He towered over me, his presence overwhelming, making me feel tiny and inconsequential.

“I was the one scared,” he admitted, his voice laced with pain and fury. “I was scared every time I fucked you in my bed and I found you looking at me with those beautiful fucking eyes. I was scared because I knew I was falling in hard. I was terrified,” he emphasized, the last word dripping with raw emotion. “Then you slept with Oliver. When I got to know, I was on the verge of nightmares. I was terrified at the thought that I might have lost you. Then you told me all those things, and yet, I decided to give you what you wanted even though it scared the shit out of me. It scared me to hell to think of what it would do to me —to us— if we crossed that line with Oliver. And yet again, we did. And then this morning you were gone. You were not there by my side when you made me promise not to leave. So no, you don’t get to tell me you were scared after you got fucked by two men who fucking adore you!” 

My throat constricted, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. 

Instinctively, my hand reached out towards him, but Noah recoiled, stepping back with a shake of his head. Not a single strand of hair moved from its place on his forehead due to the layer of sweat covering every inch of this tall, muscular frame. 

“You wanted honesty? There it is,” he continued, this time his voice low and composed. He dropped the towel to the floor, as if he was… giving up. “You were right to demand that from me, but you should have done the same in return.” 

And yet, I had left him before the sun rose, just as he did with me in that moment, stepping back with his brown eyes locked on mine until he couldn’t stand my gaze any longer and he turned away, rushing out the corner and disappearing from my sight. 

I realized then the severity of my actions. It had taken me years to get Noah to open up, and just when I had managed to get him to, to unwrap another layer of him, I had turned my back on him. 

He had all the right to be furious, to hate me, to never want to see me again.

I just didn’t think I could take it because, with each passing second, my feelings for him were becoming clearer. What I had been feeling for months was more than just platonic adoration. 

Waves of anxiety engulfed me. Some of the staff members, having caught up in the intense exchange, cast various glances my way as I stood there alone, drowning in my own misery. Some of their looks were pitiful, others were dripping with disgust. 

With a dry throat and some tears streaming down my cheeks, I hid in the nearest restroom and in a feeble attempt to regain my composure. I told myself that there was a way to get Noah back, that we could be mended and we could move past this. 

But another voice in my head told me that I had fucked up beyond repair; that I hadn’t just fucked up a wonderful relationship with two wonderful men; I had also hurt them, and that knowledge tore my insides apart. 

I didn’t recognize myself.

Why had I acted the way I did? Why hadn’t I stayed? 

I had always been the one to push others to improve their communication skills. I hated unresolved tension and not having a clear idea of what I felt and what others felt around me. It was something that consistently plunged me into anxiety, so why had I chosen this path? 

Desperation seized me. 

Fifteen minutes later, after washing my face and trying to move the hair away from my face, I headed to the green room. 

Though greeted with nods and briefs hugs from the people crowding the room, my focus was on one individual. 

My stomach knotted at the sight of Oliver’s eyes on me, the look on his green orbs not much distant from the one Noah had had mere moments ago. Swallowing hard, I walked to him, ignoring some lighthearted joke Mat attempted to engage me in. He must have sensed my unease, not from my lack of response, but from the weight of Oliver’s stare as he stood in my path.  

His bandmates had known him for than I did, and it was clear that they knew when to shut their mouths and redirect their gazes away. 

Perhaps I should have felt terrified, but terrified had led me to ruin one of the best nights of my life, so no, I wouldn’t let it happen again. 

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” 

I would need more than a minute to say everything I wanted to say, though.   

Instead of replying, he eyed me for two seconds, twirling the Red Bull can in his hand before addressing the room at large. 

“Guys, can you give us some privacy?”

In another circumstance, I might have felt embarrassed by the sudden attention, knowing that everyone present was likely speculating about why Oliver wanted to be alone with me in the green room and we both had those long faces on. However, after the events of last night, I found myself beyond the capacity for embarrassment. 

“We’re going on stage in ten minutes,” Lee interjected. I could feel his gaze boring into my back while he sent a warning directed at Oliver. 

“Got it,” Oliver replied, his tone firm.  

It took the others a full minute to gather their stuff and vacate the room, some muttering under their breath as they left. 

Taking a deep breath, I met Oliver’s gaze head-on, steeling myself.

“I fucked up," I began, watching him closely for his reaction. The weight of my words sank in as I tried to get my shit together after my failed attempt at sorting things out with Noah earlier. 

I waited for his reply with my nerves eating me alive.

“You fucked up by having sex with me and Noah or by leaving in the morning?”

“By leaving in the morning. I should have stayed. I just… I panicked.”

Oliver narrowed his green eyes at me, a mix of frustration and something else flickering across his face. 

“I can understand that,” he conceded, his tone softening slightly, “but then you bailed on us and disappeared the entire day. What are we supposed to think?” 

Standing up straight, he moved away from the cheap white IKEA table he had been leaning on, circling me before disposing of the can in a nearby black bin. 

Yeah, I should've stayed and talked to them instead of running away, but what was done, was done. Now I had to find a way to fix it on my own. 

“Noah doesn’t want to talk to me," I said, feeling like a whiny little girl for being denied a lollipop.

“I’m not sure I want to talk to you either,” Oliver replied bluntly. His words hit me like a punch to the gut. My panic momentarily increased until he continued talking. "I’m torn between that or bending you over that table and fucking you hard and fast after giving you a good spanking.”

I froze for a beat, my cheeks flaming. Closing my eyes, I dropped my shoulders and released the air I’d been holding. 

“I don’t need that right now. I need to talk to you and Noah before I make it worse.”

“Yes, obviously. This is not going to work if there’s no communication”

This.

I bit my lip, only to get chided by Oliver. “Don’t do that. You’ll bruise yourself.” 

“I know time is not on our side now,” I continued, “but is there anywhere we can meet to… talk? The three of us?” 

Oliver hummed in thought. 

“Considering we need to hop on the tour bus early tomorrow, I suggest you get some good sleep tonight and we talk when we reach the hotel in London after lunch.”

I nodded again. I was defeated, so I would just do whatever they said. I just wanted to fix things. 

With my eyes on the floor, I startled when I felt Oliver’s fingers on my cheek. He was eyeing me from under his eyelashes, a tiny furrow between his eyebrows. 

“Are you sure you just want to talk?”

How could I tell him that every fiber of my body was screaming to be touched again by both their hands, by their fingers, their mouths…? 

Maybe I didn’t need to. Soon enough, he was smirking knowingly, and he pulled gently at my lower lip with his thumb.

“That’s what I thought. But I’m not touching you again until you’re honest with me and Noah, so take the time you need to think. Whatever it is, I’ll respect your decision.”

“Will you?” I couldn’t help but ask, uncertainty coloring my tone. 

 It took him a moment to respond. 

“Hell, no. You think you’re the only one terrified, doll?” he countered with a tilt of his head. “That makes threeof us. I’ve been thinking about you since before I knew you were coming to Europe with Noah and the band. I just assumed that whatever you had with Noah was restricted to the two of you even if you weren’t dating. But then you came back and you reached me with that pretty smile and you shared so much of yourself with me… and then, to make it worse, you let me touch you… and I knew I was doomed because I’d never get enough of you.”

“Oliver, I—” I began, my voice shaking, my vision getting blurry. 

“No crying, come on,” he admonished. “You’re a big girl. You took both of us so well last night,” he reminded me, a flash of lust crossing his eyes. “You can manage this. We’ll get through it the three of us together, wherever it takes us, even if it’s on different paths.”

“I’m not sure I want us to go on different paths…” I confessed quietly, surprising not only him but myself. 

He sighed, seeming relieved. 

“That’s why I said to get a good night’s sleep and think about it. I’ll let Noah know we’ll be talking tomorrow as we reach London, okay?”

I swallowed my tears and nodded. 

When I asked Oliver if I could travel with him in BMTH’s tour bus the next morning, of course he readily agreed. But what I didn’t expect was Noah’s unexpected appearance at seven in the morning on the same bus, seeking me out. He wasn’t as pissed as he had been when we talked right after Bad Omen’s show the night before, but he was definitely not happy that I was evading the band’s tour bus—evading him—.

I was still tired. Exhausted. Drained from a sleepless night. Despite Oliver’s assurances that things would be sorted out, I was scared that Noah wouldn’t accept it, that he would never be okay with a relationship between the three of us, and that he would never forgive me.

That’s why when he appeared on BMTH’s bus, I simply sank onto the sofa when he instructed me to sit, and I let him settle next to me, his thigh and arm brushing mine. I was ready for the worst.  

“I might be pissed at you,” he started saying, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you around,” he stated. His gaze had softened as he looked at me, a hint of vulnerability peeking through his almond-shaped orbs. Our faces were barely inches away from each other. The fact that he smelled so good wasn’t helping the chaos going on in my head. “Or is it that you don’t want me?”

I frowned. 

“You know I do,” I assured him. How could I ever stop wanting him? His brown eyes would always held me captive.  

I considered that, if I got both of them, if I was just lucky enough, I would have those beautiful brown eyes and those mesmerizing green orbs gazing adoringly at me every day. Could I ask for more after that?

“I just made this whole situation so uncomfortable that I don’t know how to behave around you anymore,” I admitted, the weight of my mistakes heavy on my shoulders.

His hand found mine on my thigh. Noah clasped his fingers around mine in a comforting gesture. 

“I’ll tell you how: be a good girl. I’m angry at you, but it’s nothing that won’t be solved after we talk with Oli and you… get punished.” A smirk tugged at the corner of his thin lips. 

I could only sigh and sink myself deeper onto the seat. What did that even mean?

“Come back to our bus,” he said. When I took a while to answer, his grip on my hand tightened and he pleaded, “please?”

How am I supposed to resist the puppy eyes? 

“All right,” I relented.

I stood up, only to be met with Oliver’s figure standing not far from us, frame leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his broad chest. 

“We should have hired another bus, huh?”

Noah raised an eyebrow and after a couple of seconds snorted, shaking his head as he placed a hand at my back, nudging me forward.

“One for the three of us,” Oliver mused, his eyes eyeing my casual outfit and lingering on my chest for a little longer with a suggestive glint, as if he could see through. “Just imagine how much fun we would have had on our way to the big city.” 

I looked between him and Noah, blinking. I was missing something there, some understanding between the two of them that I was not a part of. 

It was at that moment, with the chill of the January morning creeping in through the cracks of the bus and the look the boys shared with each other that I realized that maybe, very maybe, I had been wrong all along, but… could there really be a chance that... things would work out between Noah, Oliver, and me?

Ignoring the racing beat of my heart and the wave of relief and joy that suddenly seeped through me, with a newly found bravery I said, “May I remind you that despite the distraction I’m being, you’re here to work, both of you?” I wanted to sound rational, and I was, but of course they found it amusing.  

“You can remind us later,” Oliver said, leaning over me to peck me on the cheek. 

 “Get going,” Noah indicated, his tone firm yet affectionate. “I’ll be there in a minute. Nick and Matt are playing Elden Ring. Tell them to hand over the controllers.”

I hesitated for a moment, glancing between the two of them. Then Noah put a hand on Oliver’s shoulder and squeezed, both their eyes on me, as if trying to send a reassurance to the apprehension taking hold of every nerve on my body. 

Not long after 2pm, we arrived in London, its iconic skyline piercing the sky much like the needle of anticipation jabbing at my insides as I awaited the moment of being alone with Oliver and Noah in a hotel room again. 

Our stay in the city was scheduled for three days. Under normal circumstances, I would have been looking forward to my free time to explore the city’s most wonderful streets and charming corners. However, other than the work-related stuff, nothing was going as planned, starting with the fact that I found myself not dreading to explore the city at all. My thoughts were consumed by the desire to explore something else —two men’s tattooed bodies, the seas of their skin, every imperfection and scar… 

I followed the Bad Omens’ crew into the lobby of the InterContinental next to the O2 Arena, pulling at my suitcase with one hand and typing a couple of texts to my brother while Matt handled the check-in at the reception desk. I waited for him to get the hotel card keys and hand mine, but he never approached me. 

I looked at him, confusion all over my face as I slid my phone in the back pocket of my jeans and saw him the rest of the guys head to the elevators on the left side of the lobby.    

I was about to call out to him when I noticed that Noah was still beside me, a few steps behind me. 

“Where’s my room key?” I asked.

Noah raised a hand, displaying a card. 

Despite his towering height, with the backpack slung over his shoulders, I always thought he resembled a little kid.    

“Oliver wants us to share a room,” he informed me evenly.

“What?” I sputtered, taken aback. 

Oliver and the rest of the band were not there yet. They had an interview in some radio station and the bus had dropped them off at the location before reaching the hotel, so they wouldn’t be checking in until later. 

“We’ll talk there”, Noah clarified. “If you want to have a room for yourself after that we’ll make sure you get one. It’s not a big deal.”

Truth be told, I hoped I didn’t have to get one. I dreaded sleeping between their warm bodies again, perhaps indefinitely. I knew that I was dreaming too much, but it was all I could cling to while I waited for the talk. 

During the elevator ride, I buried myself in my phone again, ignoring Noah’s presence on the other side and trying my damnest hard to block memories from last year’s tour when Noah had nearly fucked me against the elevator walls in some hotel in Las Vegas before we could make it to his hotel room. 

When the door of the suite opened after Noah swiped Oliver’s card on the reader, I gasped at the dimensions of the room. We were welcomed by a spacious common area, complete with a sofa, a dining table, and a massive TV that we were not going to use. Passing through white French doors, we were met with the bedroom. The pièce de resistance? The king-sized bed positioned in front of floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the Thames. All I could suddenly think about was… probably the same Noah was thinking as our eyes met after they’d landed on the huge bed. 

I could have felt embarrassed. Instead, somehow, I managed to offer him a sweet smile that he reciprocated. 

In silence, we began to unpack, though I refrained from unpacking too much, considering that the veredict of our current situation was still to be decided. 

Noah retrieved some of his electronics from his backpack and returned from the common area to find me standing by the large windows in the bedroom, looking down at the river.  

“Why don’t you take a nap?” He suggested, his eyes betraying his concern. “You look like you haven’t been sleeping properly.” 

I sighed. “No, I haven’t.”

“Sleep,” he urged gently.

“Are you staying?” I inquired, looking in his eyes in need of reassurance. 

“Yes.” Of course, his eyes said.

We stared at each other. When the emotions grew too big, I removed the distance between us and stood on my tiptoes to wrap my arms around his neck in a tight hug. 

He hugged me back, sinking his face in the crook of my neck, and the gesture felt like a soothing balm. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cry or strip him off his clothes. 

It must have been the same for him because I felt him tensing after the hug went on for too long. When he pulled away, he adjusted his pants before I managed to take a quick look at the spot. Guilty.

He urged me to rest for a while again. Oliver wouldn’t take long, he said. 

As sleep claimed me, I found solace in the thought of waking up to both of them in the room.  

Their voices reached my dreams, coaxing me awake. 

I stirred in the bed, stretching my muscles before lifting my head from the comfortable pillows and looking over my shoulder, towards the origin of the sound. The doors to the bedroom were slightly ajar, and I could see their silhouettes through the open space. Noah was seated at the table with a cup of coffee cradled in his hands while Oliver leaned in close, practically with his ass on the table as he talked to Noah, his thigh very close to the hand Noah was holding the cup of coffee with. Oliver had another one in his hand. They spoke slowly, softly, as if they were lifelong confidants. I lingered in the quiet, watching them, taking advantage of the fact that they hadn't noticed I was awake. I was captivated by the way Oliver would occasionally smile at him, and how Noah's eyes would sparkle. 

I sat up in bed as a surge of warmth flooded my senses. Before revealing myself, I hurried to the bathroom on the opposite side of the bedroom.

When I emerged, their voices had died away, and I could hear them moving about the room.  

With hesitant steps, I opened the French doors, my eyes falling first on one man and then on the other. 

"Hi," I said in a slurred voice. 

Oliver was pouring hot water from the kettle into another cup and Noah was hanging one of his winter jackets in the wardrobe by the entrance.

“Hi there, sleeping beauty,” Oliver greeted. 

I accepted the cup of tea he offered and thanked him with a shy smile as I brought the cup to my lips, making sure it wasn’t too hot. Lemon tea.

“Are you okay?” Noah asked with a frown, getting closer to lift my chin with two fingers and scrutinize my face. “Your cheeks are flushed.” 

“It must have been the heating in the room,” I explained, gesturing towards the bedroom. 

The answer satisfied him for he nodded, his features relaxing. 

“Do you want to sit down?” He asked.

I instantly shook my head. 

“I will if I need to, but I rather stand while I sort this out,” I said. Both of them shared a look and locked their gazes with me a second after. “I don’t want to drag it out any longer,” I said, gulping down the next sip of the tea.

“Alright,” Oliver did sit down on the sofa, facing me. 

Noah took a seat next to him. 

Great. Now it feels like I’m back at uni, about to start my thesis defense. 

While Oliver reclined comfortably against the sofa cushions, his arm casually draped over the sofa’s back, he nearly touched Noah, who was leaned forward, his arms resting on his thighs, hands clasped together. 

Green and brown eyes were fixed intently on me. 

I moistened my lips and hesitated for a moment before speaking. I didn’t know where to start, and I felt the heat rise in my cheeks as I steadied myself against the TV furniture.  

“I left because I didn’t want to,” I began.

Of course my answer elicited raised eyebrows from both.

“What I mean to say is…” I averted my gaze momentarily, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt as good as I did when I woke up,” I explained. “Despite… the ache between my legs, I was sure that I wanted that every next morning, and I realized it wasn’t right. I couldn’t be having such thoughts. This,” I gestured between me and them, “is not normal.” 

I waited for them to interject, but they didn’t. Their silence encouraging me to press on.

“After our night together, I thought about everything else that happened before that, and a voice in my head told me that it had all been a mistake: sleeping with you,” I said to Oliver. His features morphed into ones of pain and then, defeat, “and then dragging you,” I said to Noah, “into this without having sorted out first what was going on between us. I didn’t want to fuck up any of our relationships; the friendship between you two, and the one I had with each of you. On top of that, we’re in the middle of a tour and I can’t help but feel that I’m a burden and a stupid girl for dragging both of you into this mess. And then…”

“Then, what?” Noah pressed; his eyes suddenly alight. He could sense what I was about to get into. He could sense it very well, and instead of the expression I had expected from him, —the look of fear—, he seemed to be… excited?

“Then I focused on what I was feeling, on what I feel and…” I took a deep breath, gathering the courage. “I want you both. I’m sorry for what this means, but I don’t want to lie or hide it. After I took on your offer of sleeping with you, I thought that once it was done, nothing would change, or that whatever pleasure I was seeking would be satisfied, that we would have fun… but it wasn’t just that, and things did change. I had all day to think and to come to terms with my feelings. After spending the night with you, I can safely say that I want more. Not just sex. I want more of you, of both of you. Anything you want to give me. I’ll take everything, the good and the bad. I just… need you like I never thought I would, and I’m sorry for it.”

As I finished my confession and realized how much I had needed to hear my own voice say it, I couldn’t bear to meet their eyes. The pounding of my heart drowned out any other sound.  

There was a minute of silence that stretched painfully, each passing second amplifying my discomfort. I wished the ground would swallow me whole. That was the most excruciating minute of my life. 

“First of all, fuck normal,” Oliver said. “Second, yes, this is a mess, but I fucking love this mess if it means I get to have you at the end of the day. I want you vocal and naked,” his words were a firm statement. “That doesn’t seem too hard to me, does it?” His gaze shifted to Noah, the question also directed at him. “I also told you last night that my feelings for you have been more than just those of a friend since a while now. Did you hurt me by sleeping with me and Noah and leaving in the morning? Yes, you did. Do I resent you for it? No. We’re here talking things out like fucking mature adults. I only expect you not to make that a habit, otherwise we will have problems. As for everything else concerned,” he shook his head and raised his hands, “I had my time to think about it, too. And I felt fucking fantastic as I fell asleep next to you two.” His eyes landed on Noah again, who wore a mix of guilt and satisfaction on his face. 

“Noah?” I mumbled his name with a sense of urgency and fear. 

“Tell her,” Oliver ordered him, his voice suddenly demanding. “Tell her those damned three words, man. You’ve waited long enough. Don’t make me kick your arse.”

Noah hesitated, his eyes darting from Oliver to the floor then to me and all over again. 

“I love you,” he confessed with his brown eyes boring into mine with a vulnerability that I had never seen before. “I’ve been in love with you for longer than I care to admit.”

“He isn’t the only one that does, doll,” Oliver added, his voice resolute yet tender. 

That was not what I had expected at all. 

Yet, I fell to my knees. 

Immediately, Noah and Oliver rose from the sofa, coming to me, hand trying to grab me to get me back up. 

“Hey, hey. What is this?” Oliver asked.

“Come on, no need for…” Noah started saying.

But as I fumbled with the zipper of Noah’s jeans, confusion clouded their expressions as they froze, realization dawning in their eyes. 

“What are you doing?” Noah asked, his Adam’s apple bobbing with difficulty. 

“Showing you how much I love you both, too,” the words slipped from my lips as my hands moved instinctively, pulling down Noah’s jeans and swiftly unbuttoning Oliver’s, “and starting to repay you for my mistake of leaving the bed without talking to you. I won’t do it again, I promise. Just… I want this to work.”

“It will,” Oliver affirmed, “as long as we keep communicating with each other,” confidence dripping from his lips.

Beneath my touch, I could feel him growing aroused, hard. I glanced at Noah from my kneeling position.

“I was worried that I had fucked everything up by making you share me with Oliver,” I told him honestly.

“You didn’t make me do anything,” he replied firmly. “I’m a grown man. I make my own decisions. Besides, I wouldn’t have agreed to share you with anyone unless I was certain that the other person cherished and valued you like a goddess.”

“Noah and I have already talked about it. We’re on board with this, baby,” Oliver added. 

My heart was going to explode, but I felt a pang of frustration at how ahead they were on this and how behind I felt. 

“Why is it that you two always have these talks before the three of us are lone?" I grumbled; my frustration evident. I pulled down Noah’s boxers to free his erection. He let out a sigh of relief.  

“We would’ve had this conversation as a trio in the morning if you hadn’t disappeared,” he interjected, already breathless, his focus wavering.  

He had a point. 

“Moving forward with this,” Oliver continued, “means you’ll accept your punishment tonight. Are you ok with that?”

“Yes, you can punish me,” I replied as I slid down his underwear. Oh, the view in front of me. A sight to behold. “I accept my punishment; you can do whatever you want to and with me as long as I get to have both of you.”

“Those are big words,” Noah remarked. “Are you sure you’ll be able to take it?” His hips pressed forward. I wrapped the fingers of my right hand around his shaft while reaching for Oliver’s cock with my left.  

Their synchronized moans were music to my ears. 

“I can take both of you,” I asserted confidently with my chin up. Hadn’t I proved it already? I tugged at them, drawing two beautiful, restrained groans from both. “So yes, I’m sure.”

“Oh, the kitten is feisty,” Oliver sang. “What should we do about it, Noah?”

“Open your mouth,” Noah instructed to me, his voice husky with desire. “Show us how vocal you’re going to be from now on, and then we’ll decide what to do with you next.”

And that I did. 

Not even ten minutes later, I was cleaning the last remnants of Oliver’s and Noah’s release from the corner of my lips with the back of two fingers, still reeling from the intoxicating taste of them. 

Oliver lay sprawled on the sofa, one hand pressed against his forehead, his pants still unbuttoned.

“My soul has left my body,” he mumbled weakly.

With Oliver’s words hung in the air, I could still feel the ghost of Noah’s hand on the back of my head, his fingers grazing my hair gently before guiding me towards him, whispering a restrained ‘good girl’ as I took him whole. I could still taste Oliver’s release in the back of my throat, accompanied by the memory of his passionate wail as his legs trembled with the intensity of his orgasm. 

I rose from where I’d been kneeling, steadying myself with a hand on the nearest chair as I still felt dizzy. Despite my spinning head, I fought back a laugh at Oliver’s comment. It hadn’t been my intention to leave them drained before the show. 

“I’m not sure how I’m going to perform tonight,” Oliver admitted with a wry smile, his exhaustion evident.

Whoops. 

“That was a killer blowjob, baby,” Noah’s voice cut through the air from the main bedroom of the suite as he emerged from the bathroom, a wet face towel in hand, pants on and glorious cock tucked away. Before heading towards his suitcase, he planted a kiss on my lips. “You okay, man?” he inquired, addressing Oliver over his shoulder. 

“I need a minute,” he replied. 

Turned out he needed five. After pouring myself a glass of juice from a bottle I found on the mini fridge, I offered one to Oliver, who accepted gratefully. Noah declined, opting for water.  

“I should head to the venue,” Noah announced as he checked his phone. “I have a couple of messages from Folio. They’re already there.”

“I should head there, too,” Oliver said, finally standing up. 

“I will stay,” I interjected, earning their attention as they collected their things, “at least for a while. I need to get some work done on the MacBook, but I’ll make sure to be there on time for the shows,” I explained with a smile. 

Oliver nodded and headed towards the bathroom while Noah placed his suitcase on a bench and retrieved the Adidas boots he wore during the show. 

“I’ll see you in an hour, then?” Noah asked. 

“I’ll ask Matt to let me join him in the sound deck.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” he replied. 

He approached me, sliding his iPhone into his pocket before stopping right in front of me. I looked up at him, expectantly. He moved the hair away of my face with tender fingers and bent down to kiss me ever so slowly. I couldn’t recall having been kissed by Noah like that ever before, so I melted in his arms. 

I heard him whisper the three magic words against my lips, a hint of shyness in his tone, but he said it nonetheless, and I had to remind myself that this wasn’t a dream. 

“I love you, too,” I whispered back.

I didn’t miss the way his smile lighted up his face as the withdrew from our embrace. My body instantly missed his touch, his warmth, his scent. 

“Do I look like a just experienced a mind-blowing orgasm?” Oliver asked from the bathroom door, drawing a circle with a finger in the air near his face.

“Yeah, you do,” I responded with a smile and an apologetic expression, “but it just makes you look more delicious. Perfect for the show.” 

He laughed, dropping his head, perhaps feeling a bit shy? 

“You’re impossible,” he muttered, standing in front of me. 

He cupped my face and kissed me. His kiss was deeper, more intense, harder than the one I’d just shared with Noah. I loved it just as much, realizing that from that moment onwards I couldn’t bear to live without either of those kisses.

“I love you,” he said. I was going to reply that I did, too, when his words brought a rush of dizziness to my head. “No touching yourself until tonight, are we clear?”

“We haven’t decided yet if we’re letting you come,” Noah added from the door, before stepping out into the hallway.  

“One thing is for sure: you’re in for a few spankings; you’re getting tied up and we’re going to edge you for a good while until we’re satisfied with your punishment for leaving the bed yesterday morning and not talking to us.”

Oh dear.

“Great,” I muttered.

“No rolling your eyes. Be good,” Oliver instructed, pointing a finger at me. 

He grabbed his phone and wallet from the dining table, and with a mischievous grin, he closed the door behind him, disappearing with Noah from my view. 

Two seconds later, I let myself collapse onto the bed, closing my eyes with a smirk of satisfaction on my lips, the whole sentiment etched on my face. Nighttime couldn’t come soon enough.

My heart swelled with pride as I watched them from the center of the arena, Noah’s and Oliver’s figures tiny in the distance but looming on the screens flanking the stage, commanding the attention of thousands and stirring a fervent response. Watching them lead the crowd together in ‘Antivist’ was astonishing. I was so proud of them. Of us, actually. Every time the stage lights fell on them and illuminated them, I felt as if the universe was repeating to me over and over again that those two men were mine, and that I was theirs. 

It was hard to believe that forty-eight hours ago, things had been so different. After the events that my conversation with Noah had led to, I had been flooded with insecurity and fear, and a voice in my head had come very close to making me believe that I had screwed up so badly that I should turn around and go home because never everwould Noah and Oliver give in to being in a polyamorous relationship. This would never work, the voice said, and if part of me believed it would, it was because I had read too many books. 

But look and behold, reality often surpasses fiction. And watching them perform, knowing that they loved me and that we were going to give this a chance, that we were committed to making this work, I felt complete. I was no longer alone to grasp with my conflicted thoughts and emotions. We were three, now. 

These two men, with their music and their love, were mine to cherish and adore.

The rough and complicated start we had endured seemed like a distant memory, and it was just overshadowed by the promise of bright and beautiful days to come. 

By the time the clock struck midnight, I was already a whimpering, trembling mess splayed on the bed. My throat parched, breaths ragged, and legs shaking. I had just been denied my fourth orgasm, and even though I would be lying if I said I hated it, I found myself in a state of overwhelming overstimulation. 

Lost in a haze, I couldn’t even discern which one of them was between my legs. 

As soon as we came back from the venue, I was promptly tied up and blindfolded. Again. Noah and Oliver decided to take turns swapping their place between my legs and working me up, first slowly, gentle laps of their tongues and soft rubs from their fingers inside of me, then fastening their pace, heating me up, driving me to insanity every single time they took me to the edge and then withdrew, leaving me whining their names and crying for release, their wicked laughs the only thing I could hear amidst my own desperation. 

In my delirium, I really couldn’t tell anymore whose tongue was on me, whose teeth was nibling at my pebbled nipples.

“Feeling punished enough, love?” Oliver asked from the foot of the bed, giving himself away after one last flick of his tongue that wasn’t enough to make me fall off the edge. Damn him. 

I couldn’t manage a single word to tell him how I felt. 

Noah’s fingers moved the hair away from my face. Despite wearing a blindfold, I doubted I could have bear to open my eyes. 

“I think that’s enough,” he said. 

“Getting softer, huh?” Oliver teased him.

“Nah, she’s shaking. I don’t want her to pass out on us if we keep going. Let her have it.” 

“You said it.”

Their decision to show mercy on me brought a rush of sensation that threatened to engulf me entirely.  

My climax racked through my body as a hurricane, so violent that my back arched from the mattress. If not for the silky rope binding my wrists to the headboard, I might have pulled Oliver’s hair so hard in my ecstasy that I’d have hurt him. 

With sweet words whispered against my hair, Noah’s praised me, encouraging me through my orgasm, but as I began to descend from my high, he withdrew from the bed. Oliver’s mouth left my swollen center, gifting me two loving kisses on the inside of my right thigh. Then he took a seat beside me on the mattress, replacing Noah. 

“That one was for me,” Oliver said. “Now you’re going to give Noah his.”

I couldn’t grasp my mind at what he meant, but soon enough the hands that had clasped my thighs and kept me grounded on the bed were replaced by Noah’s. I felt him kneeling between my legs again. I gasped. 

“Another one?” I managed to breathe out. My mind had still not come down from my euphoric high and they expected me to…? “I—I don’t think I ca—"

“You will, kitten,” Noah asserted, draping an arm across my hip and stomach to keep me restricted to the mattress. “I know you. You’re going to give me mine.” It was an order. 

Two nights ago, I had damned them both for denying me release in their mouths. Yet now, despite this being a punishment and my exhaustion, their actions felt like a reward. I resolved not to complain, no matter how powerless and lost I felt. 

I remained silent, holding my breath, as Noah slid his slender fingers in, easily navigating through my so embarrassing slickness. He quickly found that sweet spot that I loved having touched, and he started licking me, once, twice, thrice, from my entrance to my clit, drawing circles around my clit until the pleasure was so high that it tore a scream from the depths of my being.  

“Don’t hold back,” I heard Oliver say, his hand on my hair, stroking it.  

For a second, I lost my all sense of rationality. I was sure I was going to pass out with the vibrations from Noah’s voice in my core as he mumbled things and his lips touched my lower lips. My first orgasm cascaded into a second and suddenly, I was enveloped in white, a sharp headache gripping me as I came undone. Fortunately, it passed quickly, and I savored every other second of my long-awaited double release. 

Gradually, Noah’s licks and gentle sucking relented, his hands releasing the grip on me and moving to my thighs, where he started rubbing his palms up and down, trying to soothe down my shaking. Oliver peppered kisses across my chest and sternum, nibbling at my chin with his stubble tickling my skin 

“Kitten?” That was Noah. He kissed the side of my knee. “Are you back with us?” 

As I searched for the answer within my mind, Oliver removed the blindfold and untied me, his touch soothing too as he massaged my wrists and kissed them reverently. Though I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes, a mumble escaped my lips as I shifted my head against the pillow. It would take some time for sensation to return to my body, but I was fully aware of the satisfaction that ran through my veins and straight to my heart, and every other feeling that accompanied it. 

The first night together, I had felt safe and cherished. This time, I felt utterly loved, and despite my mistakes, I was sure that I deserved this. I deserved these two men, and I was willing to give them my best self.  

“Love,” Oliver insisted, his touch soft as he lifted my chin, “open your eyes. Are you alright? Was it too much?” 

“Baby,” before I could muster the answer, Noah settled down on my other side, his unattended erection nudging against my side. He placed his palm on my tummy, and the warmth of his body seeped into my skin.

“I’m fine,” I replied with a smile, peering at both of them through blurry vision. I placed a hand on my forehead. “I got a headrush,” I admitted, “but I’m okay.” 

The worried look on their faces persisted. Oliver glanced down at my still trembling legs. “I’ll get you something to drink before we continue. Let Noah take care of you. I’ll be right back.”

He returned within a minute. I had shifted onto my stomach, and Noah was inspecting the light bruises on my buttocks, his fingers tracing the reddened skin with a frown. 

“Shit, that’s a nasty mark,” Oliver mentioned, eyeing two small spots turning purple on my left cheek. He set a glass of orange juice on the bedside table. “Did we spank you too hard?”

I shook my head. “I bruise too easily. Don’t worry. I enjoyed it.”

“You’ll tell us if we ever go beyond boundaries, right?” Noah pressed.

“Yes, I will.”

“Good girl,” Noah praised. “Have some juice,” he instructed, gesturing towards the glass as he stood up from the bed to position himself next to Oliver. 

Both eyed me with special attention as I sat on the bed and sipped the juice, my body feeling grateful for the light sugar intake. After draining the glass, I licked my lips, and my smirk grew as I noticed how hard his erections were, and both seemed to be pointing straight at me. 

How wonderful that they were mine and mine alone.  

Noah gestured for me to approach him with a finger, his gaze narrowing with anticipation. I crawled on the bed towards him, swaying my hips playfully, enjoying how desired I was. With my hair falling around me, I positioned myself on all fours at the edge of the bed, Noah lifting my chin to capture my lips in a hungry kiss. Meanwhile, Oliver’s hand returned to my backside, caressing it before his fingers slipped between my cheeks, eliciting a moan from me.  

“Would you put them on us?” he asked a few seconds later. 

Noah released me, and suddenly Oliver’s hand was presenting two square silver packages to me. 

Sitting back on my heels, I tore open the first package and rolled the condom down onto Noah’s cock, his posture steady and unwavering, watching my hand’s work as a hawk. I repeated the action with Oliver. The familiarity of the task felt oddly comforting despite it being our first time.  I hoped fervently that this would become a nightly ritual from now on.  

“Ready for us, baby?” 

Instead of answering, I straightened my back and slowly parted my thighs, revealing the warmest, most inviting part of myself to them once more. 

My boys exchanged a glance with a raised eyebrow. In an instant, Noah lifted me up, prompting me to wrap my legs around his waist as he wasted no time in nudging my entrance with the head of his dick and in one slow trust filling me up. 

I was still adjusting to the wonderful sensation of Noah being inside of me when Oliver’s hands found their way to my shoulders from behind, his touch gentle as he traced a path down my sides until they settled near Noah’s hands on my butt. 

I felt the tip of his cock against my backside, and his voice softened as he urged me not to tense. It was easy for him to say, yet I was surprised at how easy I welcomed both of them inside of me, as if my own body had been waiting for it since the first time it experienced this hot burst of desire, pleasure, and… love.

Five minutes after, they were moving inside me in perfect synchronization, a relentless rhythm that drove me to the brink of ecstasy and beyond, my breasts rubbing against Noah's inked pecs, my back against Oliver's hard tattooed chest. Their alternating thrusts, a mix of withdrawal and surging in, had me moaning their names repeatedly, making me feel full of ecstasy and wild pleasure. Whenever Noah withdrew in a slow, teasing friction, Oliver would go all the way in. 

This experience was sublime, and I didn’t ever want it to end. 

"I wish I could show you exactly what it feels like to fuck you while Noah fucks you,” Oliver growled into my ear, his words sending shivers down my spine that intensified as he nibbled at my earlobe with his vampire teeth. 

At some point, with Oliver’s mouth nibling at my shoulders, clavicle, and neck, I opened my eyes and reached for Noah’s silver necklace. I could see the restraint in his eyes. I pulled at the accessory and kissed him fiercely for a long minute before releasing him. Then, I turned to Oliver, wrapping my hand around his neck and capturing his mouth in a passionate kiss that ended with me biting his lower plump lip, making him growl like a lion against my mouth and eliciting a laugh from me. 

“Touch yourself,” Noah said. He was close, so close, and Oliver wasn’t far behind. I was dying to feel them both tense and pulsate inside me. I was dying.

Closing my eyes once more, I let my head fall back to rest on Oliver’s shoulder and slid my hand down to my clit. Their arms held me securely while they stood, anchoring me in the midst of the overwhelming pleasure. I squeezed myself around them. When I heard their moans and growls intensify, I knew I had them. 

Joining their cries of release, I followed them down to the depths of bliss.

About twenty minutes later, I was lying in bed again. Only this time I had Oliver and Noah on either side of me, spoiling me and giving me cuddles and kisses. 

After the passionate crescendo we had caused while climaxing, the mood in the room was now quiet, and a lovely silence enveloped us as we looked at each other with our eyes shining and our bodies sated and spent, we felt at heaven.  

Both of their hands roamed up and down my body. Noah's fingers traced delicate lines between my breasts and down to my navel, while Oliver's traced my temple and his lips pressed tender little kisses just below my ear and on my jawline. 

It was just perfect, and the only thing that topped it was the way I sensed Noah and Oliver glance at each other from time to time, as if something new had awakened in them as well. Or maybe it had been there for a while and was finally coming to light. Whatever it was, it was obvious that all three of us were enjoying it, that all three of us were happy and wanted to be there. 

That was all that mattered.

It was past eight in the morning when I stirred from sleep. 

My head was resting on Oliver’s chest, with Noah’s warmth enveloping me from behind, his arm draped over my waist and his palm resting flat against my stomach. The sheets had become a tangled mess at the foot of the bed, leaving our naked bodies exposed in a blissful picture. When I wriggled my feet and they brushed both Noah and Oliver’s legs, I smiled at the sight. 

However, the urge to visit the bathroom was urging me to leave the bed. I could revel in his scene again in just a couple of minutes. 

But as I began to shift away from Noah and Oliver’s embrace, preparing to swing my left leg over Oliver’s broad body, a hand clasped my wrist, halting my movements.  

Turning my head, I saw Oliver, his eyes still closed, his face peaceful in slumber with Noah’s sleepy face now so close to his own. Oliver’s grip tightened on my wrist as I spoke.

“I’m just going to the bathroom,” I whispered.  

“I’ve heard that before,” he replied, his beautiful green eyes meeting mine as he opened them. “I’m going with you.”

“But…” It shattered my heart to think that he still doubted me; that he still feared that I might not be there if he closed his eyes again and woke up a while later. “I’m not going to leave. I promised,” I reminded him with a serious expression. “I just need to empty my bladder. Just give me a minute?”

“A minute. Then I’m coming in,” he concluded, stretching his arms, I couldn’t help but steal a quick look at his morning naked figure. Glorious. “We have shower sex pending so…”

My eyes quickly went back to his. A smirk played on his lips as his words trailed off. 

That sounded… incredibly appealing and undeniably hot.  

To hell with sleep.  

“Are you sure you’re up for it? Aren’t you tired?” I inquired. With the shows and the sex, both might be beyond exhausted, but a voice in my head said, please don’t be.

“Are you?” chimed in another cheeky voice from the other side of the bed. 

Okay, they were both up and ready. Just my luck. Hell yes.

I hurried into the bathroom with a giggle escaping my lips as I knew that they were both staring at my ass as I ran off from the bed.  

Five minutes later, Oliver pulled me with him inside of the tiled shower. I shivered as the water touched my skin, though it didn't take long to get used to the temperature and I appreciated the feeling of being under the warm water and everything that followed. Oliver's hands took the reins and, with some shampoo in his hands, he began to wash my hair, massaging my scalp and thus earning my first moan of the day. 

"You guys started without me?" Noah asked, walking into the bathroom, and letting himself and his perfectly erect, hard cock be seen. 

"Not really," I replied, reaching out to take his hand and pull him closer to me. Noah greeted me with a good smooch, his cock stroking my lower belly while Oliver's fingers went on to massage my shoulders and a delicious spot just below my neck and at the beginning of my spine. 

Never in my wildest fantasies had I ever imagined I would experience a morning like this, soaking wet all over with two fucking gorgeous men washing my hair, massaging my shoulders, my breasts, and making sure the marks on my ass and other parts of my body from their nibbling the night before were nothing to be alarmed about, treating me to my first orgasm of the morning with Noah's long slender fingers as Oliver's mouth played with my nipples and he gulped down the clean water falling from the shower jet. 

I found that washing and rinsing them also filled me with a tender pleasure. They behaved like two good, but mischievous, children, waiting their turn as I washed their hair and scrubbed their bodies, leaving kisses here and there after rubbing their skin too hard and earning me their beautiful moans, which echoed between the bathroom walls. Their jokes also added to the joy; they took advantage of the fact that they were both fucking tall to make me stand on my tiptoes every time I tried to rub the top of their heads. Then they had the audacity to ask if there was a problem every time I mumbled a curse between my teeth. Whenever I reprimanded one and the other for laughing at me, it only earned me a playful slap on my ass.

Eventually, the space was filled with our casual talks, then laughter, and finally, moaning. 

When they entered me again under the warm spray of the shower, I was sure that I was in love to the hilt with both of them, and that I never wanted to stop hearing their laughter and seeing their smiles in the mornings ever again. 

So, as I tensed around them both and their grunts mixed with my moans, I surrendered to Oliver and Noah. Their fingers tightened on my thighs, where traces of the night before lingered, and I happily followed them into the abyss.

EPILOGUE COMING SOON

Taglist: 

@girlfromrussia-universe | @oro-e-diamanti | @lma1986 | @missduffsblog | @bngurngheart | @winterwinchester | @jilliemiw86 | @sorrowsofsilence | @th4t-em0-k1d | @to-be-written | @thescarlettvvitch | @nonamessblog | @somebodyels3 | @starsomens | @ditto66 | @dominuslunae | @cookiesupplier | @midnight-eternals | @pennysky | @iknownothingpeople | @cncohshit | @ladyveronikawrites | @blackveilomens | @robabankfuckmickeymouse | @kageyasma | @concretedaddy2018 | @silentglassbreak

[babygirl-riley]

Lies Pt. 2

It’s been a few months after you quit the Task Force. You go out with friends to a dancing club, little did you know 141 would be there celebrating.

Warnings: angst, depression, anxiety, mental break downs, fluff, smut, interrupted sex :(, happy ending

A/N: Here are the people who asked for part 2! So little tag list I guess 🫶🏻 @fullmoon-84 @kerst666 I tried to do the others in the comments in part 1 but wasn’t working!

“You look good as the day I met you, I forgot just why I left you.”

simon x reader guide

simon x reader fluff/angst list

pt. 1 Alternative Ending

It has been an emotional rollercoaster for you, it felt amazing to not be in the task force. Finding a small ma and pa shop to work for. However, you felt empty. You would look around your apartment to see where Simon would be. Where he would sit and drink his tea. Or hold you close in the morning. Or wrap his arms around you while cooking. None of that was there.

You wanted to call Price and ask to come back but pride came into your veins. You didn’t want to look ridiculous after the whole ordeal. That was almost 6 months ago. 6 months ago quitting the team. 6 months ago not seeing Simon. 6 months of healing.

Fortunately what came with the ma and pa shop came with friends. They didn’t know you were an SAS before, they only know the made up story of moving from the US to here in England. Throughout the time with them they would invite you out to the city, clubbing to little lunch ins.

Tonight was the night of bar hopping and dancing. It is a much needed one for sure. You wore a tight red dress, that would make out your body shape. Little short up to your thigh but it was needed. Heels and hair down. Simple make up. The usual. When getting to the bar, the air was filled with positive energy. People grinding on each other to just casual talk with drinks.

You usually don’t dance with anyone but the girls you go with. You couldn’t look at any other man without seeing Simon. So men was off the table. The first round of shots got you into the nice buzz, rocking your hips to the rhythm of each song. Laughing and dancing with your friends it was a good time.

Until one of your friends disappeared with drinks and a man. “Y/n?” Your eyes snapped open and was face to face with Soap.

Your friends looked over at you with curious eyes. “Soap?” You said hesitantly, immediately looking around.

“It’s been a while.” He hugged you tightly before smiling over at the friend. “Old co-worker yeah!”

You nodded smiling. “Yeah we used to work together.”

The girls smiled huge. “That’s fun you both knew each other.”

“Yeah,” Soap said staring. “Simon is here.” You snapped your eyes at Soap. “He’s over there.” You followed his finger towards the direction he was pointing at. There he was, sitting next to Price at the bar, back facing away.

Your heart dropped thinking of all the days and months that you had healed go into the drain. The want of talking, touching, hearing him flooding back. “He talks about ya.” He said. “Should go talk to him. We here celebratin’ but he mostly will want to talk.”

You nodded once before looking at the girls who encouraged you to go. They all scattered off as Soap dances with one of them and the other two left with each other. You slowly walked up as the fast rhythm and your heartbeat became in sync. You heard Price yelling over the music before barely looking over his shoulder to see you.

His eyes widened but his smirk was bigger. “I’ll let ya two catch up.”

Simon glanced behind him as well. His eyes dropping as he of course wore a balaclava mask. Before Simon said anything Price was gone and Gaz disappeared. You both stared at each other for a moment, Simon couldn’t believe his eyes. You were gorgeous as the day he lost you.

His hands became clammy, his heart raced, his mind frozen. Simon didn’t know what to do or say. Neither did you. You bite your lower lip trying to find something. “Uh hi.” You whispered.

Simon didn’t hear you from the music but he saw the words form on your mouth. “Come sit.” He asked gently but loud enough to hear him.

When you got closer he smelt that beautiful scent he had been missing. The musk of vanilla and trees, he wondered if it was from your perfume he enjoyed. Then he wondered if you were already with a man that loved that scent too and wore it for him. His mind couldn’t think straight, after the months he tried to heal so the you gone has been…well…not so good.

His anger would take over and his patience was thin. Especially with new recruits, eventually Price had to switch Soap and him so he could have a break from training. Sent him on short leave and missions to keep Simon occupied. Price knew that it broke Simon’s heart even if Ghost didn’t let him see that.

Yes Ghost. Ghost was the impatient and angry ball of hate. Simon was cornered into a small room trying to fight the urge to cry. To scream. Ghost had to protect Simon from the heartache. He couldn’t let Simon fall apart now, he had to be focused for the team.

Now you sat there next to him everything tumbled. Ghost was frozen as Simon poked through, Ghost trying to put Simon back into place. Simon tried was terrified, he had almost had a handle on it but now you’re here. He wanted to hold you. Touch you anything to know you are back.

“I can see you’re mad at me.” You said as a glass was handed to you.

Simon snapped his head over realizing you asked something. “‘M not.” He said shortly, smacking himself for being short.

“Right.” You said softly drinking your glass.

You saw right through him, he was hurt. In pain like you are, wanting each other but didn’t know how to handle it. Simon knew that as well, you read him better than he did himself. “Fine I am.” He mumbled shooting his whiskey back. “I’m bloody upset you left without another glance.”

You frowned, you could have given him a chance. It was just too much for you, all the heartache all at once. “I had to.”

Simon looked over at you and frowned underneath his mask. He knew that. He would have done the same thing. “I know.”

You looked over at him eyes glossing from tears threatening to leave. You looked away just as fast as you looked over at him. Complicated. It always has been complicated for the both of you. Hiding your relationship to this. You sighed. “My place is close here, we can probably talk better there.”

Simon glanced over, they could barely hear each other. He wants you back but for what cost? Simon sighed and nodded. “‘Ight.”

With that you both left, you made sure to text the girls you were leaving. One of them wanted all the details after. That made your eyes roll knowing what she actually meant. However, you know better not to play that game. The walk to your apartment was quiet, it usually was between the two of you, sharing the best company. This time though it was different, awkward silence, you wanted to say something but waited until both you settled into your apartment.

Simon was felt sad when walking in, remembering the things they used to do causally around the apartment. You took your heels off, his eyes wonder to your ass, quickly he looked away. He doesn’t need to stare, it’s been months, and who knows if you have moved on. He wondered in more looking at anything a miss or something newer.

Like a man. Clothing. Scent. Items. Only to be left with just your scent, clothing, items. His eyes landed on a bracelet on the book shelf near your door. The one that he gave you. The one that his mother wore. He reached out to grab it, holding it, he was surprised you still had it. “I didn’t want to get rid of it,” You spoke softly, making him turn. “I wanted to give it to you but…it was the only thing I had of you.”

Simon looked back down at the bracelet. The words ringing in his head, it was the only thing I had of you. He sighed quietly placing it back down. “Tea?” You asked already having a pot on the stove.

“Ya still have…” He paused watching you wiggle it in the air. He smiled softly before huffing in amusement. “Didn’t get rid of a lot did ya?”

You scoffed. “No.”

He walked over to your island and sat on a bar stool. “Why did you leave?”

You froze as you stared at the mugs for a moment. “You know why.”

Simon glared for a moment before inhaling deeply. “‘Ight why didn’t ya give me a chance?”

“Because you lied,” You sighed calmly stating the obvious. “You broke a promise that you did not keep. To protect me. Instead you hurt and lied to me.”

“Ya know better than anyone that I wouldn’t do it if it didn’t mean something.” He said softly.

“And I didn’t mean anything?” You said, noticing the venom slipping in. You winced at the statement, you knew it was rude. But how long you have been wanting to talk to him. Wanting to know everything. All the pain you had.

“You know that isn’t true.” He said his stern voice also coming through.

You turned leaning your back against the stove. “Really? I get it best for the team or the mission. But everyone Simon? Everyone knew but me and Samson. I was the only one grieving for you. Wishing I had did something to prevent it. When the whole fucking time it was.”

Simon didn’t say anything for a moment. “It was for the mission I had to in order to get Samson out. So we could get closer to the Russians, sometimes we have to sacrifice things in our work.”

You laughed rolling your eyes. “Sacrifice things? No this was not a sacrifice this was a hoax, a mock. That’s how it felt. You all used me for my feelings, you all knew that it would have broke me. So why did I not give anyone a chance because I can’t go through that heartache again!”

He stood up once your voice raised, Simon shook his head. “It was never a hoax! It was never meant to be a hoax!”

“But it was,” You said standing your ground. “You may not want to accept it Simon but it was. Instead of stating that it was wrong you make it a valiant effort for the team!”

“Ya right I make it so bloody valiant for everyone! I didn’t care ‘bout how ya felt! I didn’t try to beg Price not to do it over and over,” Simon was now out, all the pain and feelings that he had suffered came flooding out. He ripped his mask off throwing across the room. “I didn’t stop ‘em from hurting ya! I didn’t walk in when you wailed! I didn’t…”

Your ears rang, watching all the emotions leaving Simon’s body. Your heart broke, you didn’t think that he would say or even show the feelings. You reached out to place a hand on his cheek, feeling your anger being cooled as you watch him flinch.

Simon didn’t expect you to touch him, especially when yelling at you. He has never yelled at you. He stopped talking feeling your soft hands on his stubbles cheek. He was heaving a bit, didn’t realize that tears spilling from his eyes. “I’m sorry.” You whispered once it felt like hours of no talking.

Simon sighed closing his eyes, he shook his head. “I should be s’rry, I left you behind.”

“We left each other behind.” You whispered again walking forward placing your other hand on his cheek. He grabbed both of of your wrist closing his eyes. The feeling of warmth radiated through his chest as you stroke your thumbs across his cheekbones.

“I never meant to hurt you.” He whispered as you stood on your tippy toes. Kissing his tears that started to fall.

“Shh.” You whispered as his hands fell to your waist. You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him close. Your noses touching each other softly. “I never wanted to either Simon.”

You both stared at each other, he glanced at your lips. Both of you slowly moving ever so closer to each other. You begged for him to kiss you, to place his lips against yours. Feeling each other’s feelings, show each other how much you missed each other. “Can I kiss you.” He whispered.

You nodded once as he closed the gap as his kiss gently pressed against yours. At first it was soft gentle. Like it was the first time you both kissed, then his hands squeezed at your hips. You brushed your tongue along his bottom lip, begging for access. He opened his mouth and next thing you knew if you both were clawing at each others clothes. Mouths fighting for dominance, teeth clashing, lip biting.

He backed you into a wall as he hoisted you up to give a better access to your neck. Simon sighed as he bite your neck before kissing it softly. “I missed you, I missed you so fucking much.” He whispered grinding up to your clothed cunt.

You gripped his blond locks. God how you missed him, his touch, his voice, fuck his kisses. You both grinding on each other like fucking teenagers, gripping areas. “I need you Si.” You whispered as his hands rolled up your dress up to your lower abdomen.

Simon smirked as he looked over you. “We got to take this,” He started to push it up more moaning as he noticed your breast had no other covering. “Let’s take this off ya?”

Before you knew it, he wrapped his hands around your back before tearing the back. You gasped. “Simon! This was my favorite.” You snapped laughing as it fell to the floor.

His eyes looking over your body as he placed your legs down. “I’ll get ya another one,” He started to get to his knees, softly scraping your hips to your thighs, then your ankles. “But first I am gonna treat ya.”

You bite your lower lip has he rubbed his hands up your thighs, kissing your inner thighs. Sloppy messy kisses. He bit hard into your thigh causing your eyes to roll. “Stop teasing.” You whined holding his hair.

Simon smirked, god how he loved hearing that desperate tone. “Yes ma’am.” Your eyes rolled as his tongue made a strip from your needy hole to your clit.

You groaned out lifting your leg over his shoulder as he helped you, placing it gently before making circles on your skin. He moaned as he licked your cunt slowly. “Fuck how much I missed your taste lovie.”

You sighed as one of his fingers probed your entrance. He pushed his middle finger inside of you, goood how he wanted to cum right there. He could tell that you were tight and he thought how his dick would feel inside you right now.

And god how you forgot how his fingers felt, without his cock it made you feel whole. He started to slowly pump his one finger in and out of you before adding the second one. You gasped as he sucked on you clit making you basically squeal with delight.

Simon looked up at you, watching your back arch, eyes rolling back, your hips grinding on his mouth. It was like he was in a dream, god the noises you made for him made everything stir inside. “So fuckin’ beautiful,” He mumbled slurping your juices as he watched it slowly drip down his wrist. “I missed ya, fuck. Taste so fucking good.”

The words were going straight to your core, you started to reach anywhere on him. The coil in your stomach getting tighter and closed for your release. “Fuck Si don’t stop please please please please!” His fingers pumped harder and faster, hitting that fucking spot that made your toes curl. His lips sucked you clit as you screamed his name over and over again.

Simon moaned as you gripped his hair and stilled as your orgasm hits you hard. You kept gasping trying to recollect yourself, your mind hazed, your body buzzing with delight. You heard Simon slurping your release, making you moan. Your ears were ringing and the tea pot…

The tea pot! You snapped your head over to the pot that was screaming for someone to grab it. You quickly detached your leg from his shoulder as his hand pressed against you abdomen. “Let it scream love.” He kissed your thigh, you chuckled leveling down with him.

“Simon Riley saying to leave the tea alone,” You teased, watching his eyes, which was blown with lust and love. You kissed his lips tasting yourself on him, swiping your tongue in his mouth. “Let me set it aside and then we take care of you.”

[melanieph321]

Okay hear me out: what about ruben’s girlfriend losing her memory temporarily, and ruben literally leaves everything to take care of her. He asks some time away from football to help her on her recovery journey, and he would make her one of his usual breakfasts, full of nutrients and he would help her exercice slowly and would help her remember little things at a time, and he would just do everything for her well being 🥺

THIS IS THE ONE, MY 100TH RUBEN FIC! 🥳🥳❤️❤️❤️🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳❤️🥳❤️🥳❤️🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Love the many requests I've received, I have stories for days now 😅. But in honor of my 100th Ruben Dias fic I have written a 8 part series based on this request. Hope you enjoy!

Ruben Dias x Reader - Remember You and Me Part 1/8

Enjoy!

You slowly opened your eyes, groggily taking in your surroundings. You were in a hospital room, surrounded by your family and a man you had never seen before. The man, who you assumed was a nurse, was holding your hand and smiling at you.

"Hello, honey. Welcome back" your mother said warmly.

"What's going on." You grunted. The pain hit you all at once as you tried to sit up.

"What hurts the most?" Your mother was quick to pat you down, not wanting you to over extend yourself.

"My neck." You said and reached up to touch the brace that covered your throat.

"The doctors say you have to wear it for a couple of weeks. You were in a terrible car accident that almost left you paralyzied head down."

"What?" You tried to sit up again but squirmed as the pain hit.

"Careful." Said the male nurse, still holding your hand in his. "I know this isn't easy for you to hear Y/N," He said. "but the truth is that you've been in a coma for the last four days. You've had multiple injuries on your spine, ribs and if it wasn't for the doctors deciding to put you in a sedative state your brain would still be swelling."

Your brain swelled with all the information you were given. "I want to go home." You said. You hated the smell of hospitals and always have.

"I know honey, I know." Your mom stroked your head. "But I'm afraid it won't be that easy."

"Why not?" You looked around the room, meeting the faces of your family. They all carried the same expression of sadness and concern for you.

"What's going on?" You said through the tubes plugged in your nose.

"Honey..." Your mother tried to break it to you easily. "You don't live with us anymore, you haven't done so in the past five years."

"Um, what?"

"Honey, what is your last memory? How old do you think you are?"

"Mom what are you...I'm nineteen years old and I live with you, dad and Eddie. Why are you asking me these stupid questions? Why am I in the hospital, what happened to me?"

You were getting quite worked up, however your mother was patient. "Y/N, the doctors suspect a temporary memory loss as a result of your severe head trauma. You are not nineteen years old but twenty four years old. And you don't live with your father and I, you live in England with your husband, Ruben."

Your mother pointed to the nurse standing next to your bed, his hand still intertwined with yours.

"My what?" Your eyes widened in confusion. Husband? You had no memory of getting married. In fact, you had no memory of anything that had happened since you were a teenager. "What do you mean?" You asked, voice shaking. "I don't remember getting married."

The nurse smile faltered for a moment, but then he took a deep breath and explained. "You were in a terrible car accident a few days ago. And in a coma ever since this morning, when you finally woke up, not remembering anything. We've been trying to help you remember, but it's been a slow process."

Your mind was reeling. You had no memory of your childhood, your friends, your job, or anything else. It was as if your entire life had been erased.

"Mommy." You cried, letting go of the nurse/your husband's hand. "I want to go home, take me home right now."

"I know sweetie, I know." She brought you in for a hug, a tight and safe mommy hug. "The doctors say that your memory loss is only temporary, that it will come to you naturally as you go on with your daily life."

"Okay, so I'm free to leave the hospital then?"

"Yes, the sooner the better. However you have to leave with Ruben not us."

"What? I can't go live with him, he's a stranger I don't even know him."

The man's eyes widened in suprise, his expression unreadable.

"Yes, you do honey." Your mother was determined. "Ruben is your husband and you must stay with him. We will be here through your recovery, every step of the way. But for your memory to return to you naturally you must go back to living your old life, the life you spent together with Ruben, your husband."

[tommydarlings]

Vienna | s.v

pairing: dark!rbr!seb x reader

warnings: dark, obsessive behaviour, possessive behaviour, manipulation, mentions of stalking, gun use, inappropriate usage of a gun

w/c: 2.2k

summary: After leaving your beautiful home country because of the infamous German redbull racing driver, sebastian vettel, you thought that the nightmare would finally be over — but that was just the beginning.

check this out: my masterlist <3 // my ko-fi to support me! <3 // my PayPal to support me! <3 // my Patreon to become a member! (get access to +50 works!) <3 // Save a Life carrd made by me! <3

Leaving your beloved country called England, was definitely something that hurt you but you had no other option.

After you’ve rejected redbull's golden boy, Sebastian Vettel, two time already — he still asks you like it’s the first time, with a smug smile and some specific kind of darkness lingering in his usually oh so bright eyes.

And every time you reject him — just because you're simply not interested, he comes crawling back… almost like you’re his addiction that he just can’t let go.

At first you thought that it wasn’t all to bad since you actually kinda liked him — as a friend — but after two times of asking you the exact same question with the exact same sinister smile on his face, you’ve lost every kind of likeness for him in a matter of days.

And now you're here, in Paris, all alone — only because of him.

It physically sickened you already how many times he texted you. Unstoppably. Even after you blocked him and reported his number, he always found a way to contact you all over again. It even got so bad that you started to get serious nightmares because of him, haunting you until the early morning hours.

But the worst part were the letters that you’ve received after you decided to throw your phone away since he just wouldn’t stop texting or calling you. The letters were basically what widened the imagination for your awful nightmares that gave you sleepless nights.

Some of those letters that you’ve got in your mailbox were filled with threats, some with lovely and sweet words and some with one single word or short sentences that made goosebumps appear your skin.

“Mine.”

“I'm always going to find you.”

“You can’t run away, little lamb.”

“Forever.”

And after receiving those letters in France as well, you left the country again. With tears in your eyes you decided to go to Russia without telling any one your friends about it. When you left England — and all of your friends behind, you told them that you’ll go to Paris but now, nobody’s knows.

Or that’s at least what you thought, but in the end you’ve realised that this assumption of yours was wrong.

You furrowed your brows as the doorbell rang, disturbing you from desperately trying to choose the cheapest flight to Russia, but you furrowed your brows even harder as the mailman handed you a package from an unknown sender, but deep down you sadly already knew who this 'unknown sender' was.

“Thank you,” you quietly mumbled to the kind mailman before you closed the front door and gently placed the surprisingly lightweight package onto your dinner table, slowly opening it.

And you almost couldn’t believe your own eyes as you saw what this 'unknown sender' sent you.

A first class airplane ticket to Russia.

You gulped before you quickly shut your curtains and continued packing you things, swiftly and slightly nervously leaving your small apartment in France behind.

- - -

“Thank you, Anastasia,” you said kindly to your neighbour as she brought you the mail that the mailman accidentally delivered to the wrong address. “No problem,” she replied with a strong Russian accent before you closed the door behind you, observing the small envelopes.

But one, rather big and light brown one, stood out.

Tears already entered your eyes as you quickly ripped it open, slowly not only growing scared by all of this, but also mad.

But this time it wasn’t only a sick 'love letter' filled with 'sweet' or threatening or possessive words — No, this time there were pictures included, pictures that made you stomach twist, almost wanting to throw up.

There were five pictures, just like his driver's number.

One where you were cooking in your panties and a short top, slightly moving around the kitchen while you were listening to some song you can’t remember anymore.

The second one was one of you doing your daily workout routine, a picture of you in the plank position, tiny frown on your sweaty face as you tried to focus.

The third one was definitely taken from the small upper window from your living room, you were able to see your figure from behind, sitting on the couch while you were watching your favourite horror movie, eating a bowl of popcorn while doing so.

The fourth made you gasp, it was a picture of you showering — obviously, completely naked, which was perfectly able to be seen on the picture, which means that he saw you naked now, that fucking pervert.

But the fifth one — the last one, probably scared you the most, even though you wouldn’t have thought that, that would be able after the last one.

It was a picture of you sleeping, but this time it wasn’t taken from a window like the other ones…it was taken from the bedroom, inside the house.

The sickening picture showed you sleeping peacefully on your left side while Sebastian's hand brushed some of your hair out of your face, fingertips only slightly touching your hot skin.

You sniffled in fear and sadness but also anger before you took all of those five pictures and ripped them in half, hastily throwing them into your trashcan before you booked your next ticket.

This time to the wonderful vienna.

- - -

“Hier, bitteschön,” Here you go, The barista told you with a smile, for a grumpy city like Vienna, she was very kind.

Since you’re living in a pretty little but modern apartment in the capital city of Austria, you learned some German. But you were still struggling a bit with the Austrian accent.

You nodded before you mumbled a quick 'danke' thank you.

Luckily, your apartment was only a few meters away from your apartment so you arrived at your new home in a matter of just a few minutes, quickly opening the door with your silver key and gently putting the pink donut and the strong coffee onto the kitchen counter.

You sighed as you picked your new nail up, hands already slightly trembling but that quickly stopped again as soon as you noticed that the mail is actually normal and not scary or psychotic.

You gulped your fear down and turned around with a tiny grin, actually genuinely happy that the creepy German doesn’t stalk you anymore.

But then you’ve noticed the small package.

With hot tears and slightly shaky hands, you picked it up and set it down onto the table, gently grabbing a sharp knife and opening it. But you were only able to furrow your brows as you’ve noticed that it’s a tape.

A small, black VHS video tape.

You sighed and took a deep breath before you quickly went over to your VHS video recorder, gently putting the tape into the black recorder before you pressed 'play' and then set yourself down onto your small couch that's facing the TV.

You gulped as you covered your mouth, tears entering your eyes all over again as you saw Sebastian entering your modern apartment back in Russia, slowly creeping through your kitchen until he reached your trashcan, pulling the destroyed pictures with a loud sigh out of the trashcan before he set the camera onto the kitchen counter, looking directly at it now with a smile.

You don’t even wanna imagine how many women he fooled with that perfect smile before.

But then his smile faded again as he gazed down at the ripped pictures of yourself.

“Can I be real honest with you, meine liebe, my love, I was really hurt when I saw this through my binoculars,” the young German formula one racer said into the camera, making you wipe some of your tears away before you sniffled in pure fear.

“I though you would like them! But I guess I was sadly wrong,” he mumbled before he smiled again as he pulled tape out of the pocket of his jeans, quickly sticking the pictures back together with a sinister dark gaze in his eyes.

After that, he got a hold of his black backpack, swiftly pulling five dark picture frames out of it, gently putting them down onto the counter before he framed — in a very gently way, all five pictures, smirking as he did so.

Then he put them into his backpack before he put it back around his back, laying the undersides of his arms onto the cold counter top before he put his cheek onto them, happily smiling at the camera,

“See you in vienna, baby.”

And then the video ended. Leaving you in nothing else than tears.

Suddenly, you felt a big hand covering your mouth from behind, other hand quickly grabbing your wrists in a rather rough manner, pressing them tightly to your body, “Hallo, mein liebling.” Hello my darling.

You gasped before you softly cried into his palm, tears streaming down your heated cheeks now as your entire body started to tremble, “Missed me? I bet you did, am I right?”

But you only shook your head as you whined into his warm palm, making him press your arms even tighter to your body,

“I said…am I right?” The German asked you again in a deeper tone, German accent strong.

This time, you agreed with his wicked statement, slowly nodding as he slowly let go of your wrists, surprisingly freeing them in a gently manner before he reached for something in his back pocket.

Swiftly, he pulled a tiny gun out of his the right pocket, making you gulp as he slowly put it in front of your face, showing it off to you like it’s a brand new phone he just got himself.

Sebastian chuckled as he saw your facial expression that showed nothing more than fear now, “She’s pretty isn’t she?” He asked as he wiggled the gun in front of your face, showing you that it’s actually loaded with bullets.

You gasped as you heard the bullets rattling in his gun, raising your eyebrows and widening your eyes as the German redbull driver brushed a few strands of hair out of your face with the top of it, making you gulp.

“But clearly not as pretty as you, baby,” he muttered into your ear from behind before he slowly removed his palm from your mouth, gently placing it into the back of your head,

“S-Sebastian, please-”

“Shhh,” Sebastian immediately interrupted you, shaking his head from side to side with a tiny angry frown on his face before he went on, playing with the gun in front of your face like it’s a toy one, “Just do as I say…and none of those pretty little — but very painful, bullets will hit your delicate and oh so beautiful skin, meine liebe,” he said in a undertone with a grin on his face.

You knew that you shouldn’t have agreed like it means nothing, but you were just so unbelievably scared right now that you couldn’t risk anything, you simply couldn’t.

“O-Okay,” you nodded as tears landed onto your temple and cheeks, but Sebastian didn’t even acknowledged them, he only continued smiling like a sick and twisted fuck.

He nodded as he briefly bit his lip, “Great! Perfect!” He laughed along his sentence.

Suddenly, you felt him going on his knees, tying your hair in a rather clean makeshift ponytail and slowly bending your head backwards towards himself, making you whine,

“It’s okay, hey,” Sebastian spoke up, “If you cooperate like a good girl, I won’t hurt you, okay?”

You gulped and nodded, making you him forcefully tug on your ponytail, “Words goddammit.”

“Okay,” you answered in a quick manner, making him immediately smile down at you again, “that’s my good little girl,” he said before he ran his along your trembling lips, this time noticing your fear,

“Entspann, meine liebe, alles is okay.” Relax, my love, everything is okay.

But you were definitely far away from being relaxed, especially as soon as he spoke up again, genuinely scaring you with his words this time,

“Open your mouth.”

You choked on your breath as you felt him smiling against your cheek, fingers on the back of your head — that are still holding a neatly done makeshift ponytail — now softly stroking your scalp.

Very slowly, you opened your mouth, squeezing your eyes shut as you felt him slowly shoving the loaded gun into your mouth, roughly tasting the metal on your tongue now.

“So ein gutes mädchen.” Such a good girl.

“So brav, nur für mich, huh?” So good, only for me, huh?

Then he shoved the heavy metal gun further down your throat, forcefully choking you with it, making you gag around it.

“That’s what I wanted to hear,” he smiled against your wet cheek, making you cry and whine out, tears landing on top of his fingers and the gun now.

He sighed as you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to not choke on the loaded gun, “Gosh, this looks and sounds way better than I imagined it, to be honest,” he whispered into you ear before he kissed your wet temple.

Suddenly, Sebastian's hand let go of your makeshift ponytail created by him and put his palm onto the back of your head, slowly forcing your head towards the gun, making you choke on it even more as you gagged around it.

“Oh god,” Sebastian spoke up in a deep and raspy tone, making you open your eyes again, “Look what you’ve done to me,” he said before he turned your head so that you could see his crotch area.

And there he was, on his knees, shoving you a loaded gun down your throat with a big boner in his jeans, happily smiling at you.

[lulublack90]

Prompt 31 - Lock

@jegulus-microfic January 31 Word count 1755

This is it folks. I'm quite emotional. I really hope you all like it.

For my biggest fans @weirdtinkerbellversion @thedvilsinthedetails and @beautyoftheships I love you guys.

Previous part First part

All he could hear was white noise. His brain couldn’t process James’s words. His eyes found the bottle of wine, and he automatically poured himself a glass and downed it. 

He grasped the edge of the counter with both hands and felt his body shake. 

James remained silent, not wanting to push him. 

Regulus bit back tears and turned around, putting his protective mask in place, leaving his face devoid of emotion. 

“So that’s it for us then?” He stared at James with dead eyes, his voice a bored monotone. It made James shiver.

“I don’t want it to be.” Tears dripped down his face. “Reg,” He croaked. “I love you. I want to be with you. Lily told me this life-changing news,” He looked at his watch. “Four hours ago.”

“So, you didn’t know anything while I was arranging my return to England?” He sounded cold and accusing. He tried not to care. James shook his head. 

“No, Reg. I swear. I’ve only just found out.” James looked at him, features full of heartbreak. “You’re the first person I’ve told. Not even Sirius knows.” This shocked Regulus almost as much as finding out James was going to be a father. 

He smelt burning. He spun around and pulled the ruined dinner out of the oven. He threw it on the side and bit down on his lip. 

“James, I need you to go. Please.” His mask had slipped. It would be only moments before he broke down. 

“Reg—“

“Please, James. I need to figure out if this is the life I want. Kids were never my plan, and now…” He didn’t know how to finish that sentence, so he let it sit. 

“I’m so sorry, Reg. Nothing ever seems to go right for us. Does it? I really hope that changes.” His voice was thick as he continued. “Please remember whatever you choose, I will always love you.” With that, James left. The door hadn’t even banged shut before Regulus was sobbing. 

———————————————————————————

James’s chest hurt. What should have been a hopefully pleasant evening had turned into yet another nightmare. He looked up at the skies and called out to whoever might be listening.

“Could whoever is writing our story please give us a break?!” When he got no answer, he walked back to his empty house. Even Leo had gone out.       

His phone buzzed. 

‘Hey. Reggie just texted me and said you’d gone home already. Take it it didn’t go well then? Wanna meet for lunch tomorrow? Usual place?

Love ya

xxx’

He sent back a quick, ‘Yeah, sounds good to me. See you at noon x.’ He decided the best thing was to go to bed and deal with everything in the morning. 

***

James heard the sound of thundering boots coming up fast behind him. He began to turn, but before he could see what was happening. There was an almighty thud. He looked down at the pavement and sprawled across it. Hair in a wild mess was Sirius. 

“Trip over your laces again?” James said flatly. 

“Yup.” A muffled reply came from the heap on the floor. James snorted loudly as he bent to pick his friend up. 

Miraculously, Sirius had gotten away with only a slight graze on his cheek. 

“Is it true? Am I going to be an Uncle!” He shook James vigorously in his excitement. 

“I suppose so, I guess,” James said as he tried to escape Sirius's grasp.

“I’m godfather!” He burst out, bouncing up and down. 

“Sirius, we’re not even religious.” 

“Fine, fairy godfather, whatever. Either way, I bagsy it.” James sighed and clapped him on the back.

“You got it, you absolute crazy man.” He bent down and tied Sirius’s laces for him. 

“Awww, you’re gonna be such a good dad.” He gushed as he wiggled his foot, checking out his shoelaces.

“Come on then, let’s go get lunch. I had some amazing news to tell you.” James chuckled as he threw his arm around Sirius’s shoulder and continued down the street to the little cafe on the corner. 

Sirius didn’t stop babbling about all the baby things he’d googled and spouted off so much information that James felt his chest tightening in panic.

“I think he just needs time, you know.” 

“Hmm, what?” James had completely zoned out, picking his sandwich to pieces.

“I said, he just needs time. It’s a lot. But I really hope he picks you, mate.” Sirius said, taking James’s hands away from his decimated sandwich and squeezing them gently. He didn’t want to get his hopes up again, but he didn’t fight very hard.      

***

He was painting when the door went. He nearly fell off the ladder as he hurried downstairs to answer it. He was covered in paint, so he tried to touch as few things as possible. 

He yanked the door open, slightly red-faced, and lost all his breath when he saw Regulus standing there. 

“Hi,” 

“Hi,” 

“I’ve made my decision.” Regulus blurted out, not waiting to be invited in. James felt his mouth go dry.

“And?” His tongue was like sandpaper. He couldn’t take the suspense.

“I’m in,” Regulus said confidently. “Nappies, late night feedings, helping them plot their revenge on the school bully. All of it. I’m in.” Without warning, James flung himself at Regulus. He gathered him up into his arms and spun him around. He was bursting with joy. 

He suddenly dropped him and ran into his office. He rooted around in a draw and rushed back to Regulus, who was still waiting at the front door. 

“I got you something.” He held out the small box.

“What the fuck! James! Are you proposing?” Regulus’s eyebrows disappeared into the curls that hung over his forehead. James’s eyes widened.

“NO! No, No,” He opened the box. “It’s just a key!” 

“Oh,” Regulus sounded disappointed. James made a mental note to put a pin in that for later. 

“And what lock does this open, James? Your heart?” A playful smirk settled on Regulus’s mouth. 

“It’s a key to the house. So you don’t have to knock any more, you can come and go as you please. And—” He took a deep breath. He’d been preparing for this. “And if you’d like to—No pressure, by the way—But if you’d like to, I’d love it if you moved in with me.” Regulus took the silver-coloured key from the box and held it in his hand, staring at it, flipping it over in his palm. He looked up at James, a sweet, shy smile on his lips. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?” 

“Okay, I’ll move in with you. Being away, I forgot how obnoxious Sirius is. I’ve had to buy earplugs to block out his nighttime noises.” He pulled a face, gagging slightly. James grabbed him in his arms again and lifted him into the air. 

“I love you,” He whispered across Regulus’s lips before closing the gap. 

Only when he set a breathless Regulus back on his feet did he remember he was covered in paint. He looked in horror at the cream-coloured paint splattered all over Regulus’s black coat. Regulus looked down as well. 

“Is that paint?” His eyebrow shot up as he questioned James. 

“Yeah, sorry. I was painting the room that’s going to be the nursery. Er, put your coat in the wash, and you can borrow one of mine. I’ll just go get changed.” He ushered Regulus inside and shut the door. Being very careful not to touch him again.

Regulus shrugged off his coat. 

“Did you get it finished.? He asked matter of factly. 

“Er, no, I didn’t. I barely even started. Only done about half a wall.” Regulus pulled his jumper off and started up the stairs. James chased after him and into his bedroom. But Regulus wasn’t there. “Reg?” He called out as he tried and failed to figure out where he’d gone. 

“I’m in the baby’s room. Where are you?” Regulus called back. James hurried out of the bedroom. Clearly, he’d gotten the wrong idea. 

Regulus, roller in hand, was making a start on the wall that James had started. He’d already accomplished more than he had and didn’t have a lick of paint on him. James leaned against the door frame, watching the man he hoped to spend the rest of his life with painting his unborn child’s room. 

He didn’t think there were enough words in the world to describe how much he loved him.     

———————————————————————————

Nine months later

“James, he’s beautiful.” Regulus hadn’t expected to feel this way when meeting baby Harry for the first time. The tiny raven-haired boy slept soundly in James’s arms. James grinned the biggest grin Regulus had ever seen on his face. He turned to Lily. “He’s amazing, Lily. How are you doing?” She looked exhausted, but she still had a smile for him and a cheeky wink. 

“You know me. Cup of coffee, and I’ll be right back up.”

“Do you want to hold him?” James asked him as he slowly rocked the baby to and fro. 

“I don’t want to hurt him,” Regulus said quietly. His palms felt sweaty as he looked nervously at the tiny, delicate bundle that was nestled in James’s arms. 

“You’ll be fine. Here.” James stood and awkwardly transferred Harry into Regulus’s arms. 

He looked again at the tiny baby and felt a protective love surge through his body. 

Harry fussed in his arms, and he instinctively began to sway. Harry opened his little mouth in a perfect O and settled back down. He was so in love. 

There was a quiet tap at the hospital door, and Sirius’s face popped around it. 

“Can we come in yet?” He whined. James nodded.

“Yeah, of course you can.” 

Sirius rushed in, followed more slowly by Remus. They crowded around Regulus so they could get a good look at the baby. 

“Look, Sirius,” Regulus said, pulling his gaze away from Harry to look at his brother. “Isn’t he perfect?” Sirius wrapped an arm around him.

“Yeah, Reggie, he is. Now give me a turn!” Reluctantly, Regulus handed him over and went to stand next to James. James pulled him in close, wrapping his arms around him as they watched Sirius and Remus quietly argue over how long Sirius got to hold him before it was Remus’s turn. Lily had fallen asleep. She was exhausted after the long labour. It was peaceful. 

James leant his chin on Regulus’s shoulder and whispered in his ear.

“How you doing, Papa?” Regulus’s heart melted.    

[lionizingheathen]

Take it- R.W

Ron Weasley x fem!reader

"Are you sure you can handle it, baby?"

Ron visiting his long distance girlfriend

Smut is under the cut, hope you enjoy it

Warnings: Smut, Oral (male and female recieving), use of the word 'whore' at least once, face/throatfucking, vaginal fingering

Ronald Weasley was put on earth for one thing, and one thing only and that was eating you out.  You were certain of it, almost enough to bet your entire life savings as you clenched your thighs around the redhead’s skull for a moment, allowing him to instead push your legs open as he continued his movements.  You convulsed, screamed, nearly kicked him in the head, it didn’t matter.  He didn’t stop until you were pulling him up by his hair, making him stop enough for you to feel the pleasant buzz in your bones.

“Fuck, baby.” You watched as he reached for his discarded shirt, wiping it across the bottom of his face before flashing you a crooked grin.  With the way that the sunlight showed through the dusty windows of your apartment, Ron looked like a deity.   “Good girl, you did so fucking good for me.”  He said, laying down with his head on your chest.  You played with his hair absently as you looked up at the ceiling.  It’d been two months since you’d left England, two months since you had been able to hold your boy like this… two months since he’d been able to taste you… two months and counting on your end.

“Can I suck you off?”  You asked, partly regretting breaking the serene mood that had been created by Ron dozing off on your chest.  He lifted his head with a start, looking almost shocked, which you found funny… You’d never not wanted to, he just rarely asked. “You want to?”  He asked, and you nodded, giving him a wide smile and a quick kiss.  He still tasted like you, just faintly. “Yes.  Please.”  You said, and he cleared his throat, settling on the edge of the bed, his hair still messy from you pulling on it as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.  Merlin, you wanted to suck his fucking soul out. “Are you sure you can handle it, baby?”  He asked, and you rolled your eyes, sliding down to your knees in front of him, making him spread his legs a bit so you could fit.  He looked almost regal, sitting above you… just the look of him left you painfully turned on, rubbing your thighs together to try to relieve some of the pressure that was building there again..

“Obviously.” “Are you seriously having an attitude with me right now?”  He asked, and you nodded.  Of course you were, that was part of the song and dance. “Mhm.”  You responded, and he scoffed, leaning back on his hands.  He would be rough… Good. “I could just fuck your throat until you can’t speak, you realize that, right?”  He asked, and you nodded.  That was the hope, you wanted him to fucking wreck you.  It was the only way to shut you up and make both of you have a pleasant evening. “Maybe that’s what I’m aiming for.”  You said, grinning up at him.  He furrowed his brows as he lifted his hips for you to pull his boxers down.  You watched as his cock smacked against his stomach, and you ran your fingers up his legs.  He was gorgeous, thick, muscular thighs from years of staying active, freckles all over his arms and chest… it made your mouth water.  And his cock itself was something to marvel at, both thick and long, fitting to his tall frame.  You wrapped your hand around it, bringing your lips to the tip.

“Why would you-.” You stuck your tongue out, licking the slit, groaning to yourself at the slightly salty taste there before engulfing the head of his cock with your mouth, making him gasp and tense up for a moment.  It’d been too long for both of you. “Oh, Fuck.”  He groaned, and you struggled to take more of him down your throat, digging your nails into the skin of his thighs as you felt the corners of your mouth stretch around him.  He was big, that wasn’t news to you, but it’d been a while… you just wanted to make him feel good, he always looked so hot when he was cumming. “Fuck, babe.”  You looked up at him, letting out a whimper.  His head was leaned back a bit with his hands over his face and you could see every vein in his arms as you worked your mouth up and down his length.  His abs tensed as he rolled his hips up to meet your movements before he dropped his hands, his eyes closed and brows furrowed.  He looked like a god.  “This feels so fucking good, Y/N… Just what I needed..”  He groaned, lacing his fingers through your hair as he pushed your head lower, making you gag around him.  You swallowed against his cock, feeling your clit throb between your thighs.  You brought your hand down between them, rubbing circles on your clit, moaning around him as you felt some relief.  The vibration made him let out a guttural moan as he thrust his cock into your throat, making you gag around him.  When he saw your hand working between your legs, he only chuckled and shook his head, folding his hands behind it as he grinned down at you almost mockingly. “Are you seriously wet from sucking my cock?  God, you’re such a bloody whore.”  He moaned, and you let out another whimper, slipping two fingers inside yourself as you pulled off of him for a moment, looking up with wide eyes as you spread your legs for him.  He watched for a moment, licking his lips at the way you were taking your own fingers before you pulled them out and slipped them between your lips, licking them clean.  You noted the change in Ron’s demeanor, how something shifted into an almost caranal look.  He locked his fingers back in your hair, yanking you back to his cock as he thrust his hips up quickly, snapping them each time you pulled off.  Finally.

“Oh, cut that shit and get back to sucking my fucking cock… Merlin knows it’s what you’re made for, hm?”  He asked, and you wanted to respond, but he wasn’t going to let you, he was too busy using your throat… and you were too busy enjoying it.  You brought a hand up to cup his balls, fondling them in your hands, making him let out another moan as he pulled your hair again, making you gasp. “Fuck, babe. Doing so good for me… just for me..”  Ron moaned, and you glowed at the praise, increasing your pressure on his balls and working to get the rest of his cock down your throat.  You let him push yoru head until your nose was flush with his pelvis, making it hard to breathe… God, it was enough to almost make you cum, feeling his entire cock down your throat.  You knew he felt the same from the near growl that came from his mouth as he snapped his hips up hard a few more times before trembling, just a bit.  A tell tale sign that he was reaching the edge.  You took your free hand and raked it down his thigh. “Gonna cum…”  He warned, and you went to pull off, only to feel his hands on either side of your head as his stomach tensed.  He thrust his hips forward while shoving your head down and letting out a gasp of your name.  You tried your best to swallow around where his cock was in your throat, but it only made you gag more.  It wasn’t until he finally let you pull off of him that you were able to swallow his cum, looking up at him with a lazy smile.  He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on your lips, looking at you tenderly… merlin, if you weren’t already in love, you certainly would be now.  You went to stand up, to go wash your face and brush your teeth so that he might be more comfortable kissing you, but Ron grabbed your wrist and stopped you, looking confused. “Where do you think you’re going?”  He asked, shifting his large hands to your waist.  You tangled your fingers in the back of his hair, pulling his head against your stomach as you twirled a lock around your thumb. “To clean up…?”  You asked, but Ron pulled you into bed with him, making you shriek as you tried not to land right on top of his skull.  He shifted his position so his arms were tight around your waist and his head was tucked against the curve of your stomach. “Later.” He murmured, and you let out a tired chuckle as you placed a hand under his chin, making him lift his head up to look at you. “Ron…” You tried, and Ron pouted just slightly.  It was almost absurd enough to make you laugh, seeing this grown man pouting like this. “We can take a bath, okay?  I just want to hold you for a bit… I’ve missed you.”  Ron said, and it made your heart skip, hearing him say it.  You knew it was true, he’d written it a million times, even sent howlers… but it was different seeing his face while he said it, soft and gentle.  The murmur of a lover. “I missed you too.”

[multifandomsw]

Apologies

Harry Styles x Reader

warnings: angst, fluff, loneliness, depression?, mental health, anxiety

summary: After an encounter with your old best friend, she gave you her number to catch up. When you decide to send her a message, someone else replies. Was it destiny?

author‘s note: I hope this is not too cringey, I‘m trying my best! If you want to be added to the taglist, just comment :) Btw, I’d love to hear your opinions!!

Part 2

Apologies masterlist

OH AND BTW I NEED SOME HARRY FRIENDS SO PLEASEEE MESSAGE ME SO WE CAN TALK!

You: Sooo

H: So?

You: What if you’re lying?

H: Lying about… what?

You: Oh my god. You use dots. You‘re definitely an old man!!

H: We‘ve been over this.

You: Yes, but I need proof

H: Fine. You can ask me anything you want

You: What do you do for a living?

H: I‘m working in the music industry

You: Woah. Okay. That‘s not what an old man would come up with I guess.

You: Unless you USED to work in the music industry.

H: It‘s very hard to gain your trust

You: Good observation

You: Where are you from?

H: How does that have anything to do with my age?

You: Just answer it!

H: England and you?

You: Hey, I‘m asking the questions!

You: Who is Taylor Swift?

H: She’s an American singer. She’s actually on tour right now. It’s called the Eras Tour

You: I’m convinced

H: What? Really? That easily?

You: I have enough proof

You: Unless you want me to doubt you again

H: NO!

H: Now it’s my turn to ask the questions :)

—

You tried your best to keep your eyes from moving to the couple in front of you, you really did.

However, every time you saw love surrounding you in any way, you couldn’t stop looking, even staring.

Most of the times your heart swelled with love at just the sight. A happy feeling would shoot through your whole body, a smile instantly grazing your lips.

It didn’t work this time.

There were no empty seats left, so the woman was sitting on the man’s lap. He had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, propping his chin on her shoulder while she was giggling at something he said, lightly slapping his arm.

You were mainly focused on the way the man was looking at her. His eyes were filled with so much love, so much adoration. His face softened when she giggled and you could almost see his dilated pupils.

He was in love.

And at that moment, you wished you were in love, too. So badly that your heart ached at even the thought of being in love and being loved in return.

You shook your head at your own stupidity, no one would ever love you. In fact, you came to the conclusion that you were unlovable. You thought you didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve to be someone’s first choice.

You never were and would most certainly never be.

Still, it hurt. Hurt watching everyone around you be so entranced by love. You lost your closest friends because of it, because they prioritized their relationships and slowly came to forget you.

You would have never done that to them, you were certain of it, but you wondered if you would see it another way if you yourself had a partner.

Did love really do that to people? Make them forget about everyone and everything else? You were practically non existent to your friends, you could not even remember the last time you spoke to them.

If love could truly make you forget about everything, you wanted to experience it.

You wanted to forget about your loneliness, your depression, your mental health and put your focus on one person.

You scoffed at your train of thoughts, no one would ever want to be with you that way. You had accepted it a long time ago, but the thought of it alone managed to make your eyes water.

It was hard. Very hard.

You quickly wiped the tears away from your cheeks and took in a deep breath before you pulled your phone out of your pocket.

You: Do you ever feel lonely?

H: Hey, are you alright?

You: Just answer it. I don’t want to be the only person to feel that way

H: I do. Very often. And so do other people. You’re far from being the only one that feels that way, trust me. You’re not alone.

You: When do you feel lonely?

H: Most of the time, actually. I love my job, I really do, but working as a musician also means traveling a lot. I never stay at one place for a long time. It’s very hard sometimes.

You: Oh, I’m really sorry. Are you a songwriter? Or a guitarist? Or a signer?

H: I’m all three?? Kind of?

You: I’m so jealous. I can’t even play an instrument.

H: I’ll teach you- hey wait! You’re trying to distract me. Tell me what’s wrong.

You: I saw a couple on my way home. It just made me feel lonely. Knowing I’ll never have that.

H: What do you mean you’ll never have that? Who said that?

You: I don’t think anyone will ever love me that way

H: Bullshit.

You: Sorry?

H: I don’t know why you think that, but it’s utter bullshit. Everyone will experience love at some point. And so will you.

You: Do you think so?

H: I know it. I’m sure you’re a very sweet and loving person. You seem like one.

You: Thank you, H.

H: Anytime, Cherry

You: Are you in a relationship?

H: Oh. No I’m not. It never works out. My schedule is too tight for love, I barely have any time

You: I’m sorry

H: It’s okay. I can talk to you now :)

—

You: THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING HAPPENED TO ME TODAY!!

You: I’m dying of embarrassment.

You: H!!!!

H: WHAT HAPPENED?

You: Okay so I went to H&M and bought some thongs

H: Why would you buy thongs? You said you hated them

You: And then I bumped into an old classmate and I dropped them all! He knelt down and helped me pick them up. I saw that he was kind of uncomfortable and his whole face was turning red! So I said the first thing that came to my mind

H: Oh no, what did you say?

You: That they are for my grandma! I mean who says that?

H: Oh. Hahahha

You: Don’t you dare laugh!

H: I’m not laughing! What did he answer?

You: He muttered something but I didn’t hear it. Then he left the store very quickly

H: Back to my question, why were you buying thongs?

You: Just to feel good about myself. I wanted to try out something new

H: Soo you’re not going on a date?

You: I wish

—

Harry nervously fiddled with his fingers as he watched the opening act, Wet leg, play for his show.

He needed to calm down, he was never so nervous, never filled with so much anxiety.

It felt like he couldn’t breathe, like all air was being sucked out of his lungs. His breaths were short and uneven.

He swallowed hard, gulping down the tears that were building in his eyes. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t act as if everything was fine.

He shouldn’t have opened Twitter, he shouldn’t have read the tweets about his latest show, but he couldn’t help himself, it was addictive.

Everyone was criticizing him, pointing out that he wasn’t so cheery and happy anymore, that his shows were boring and that his interactions with his fans decreased.

Lately, Harry has been feeling very homesick and lonely. Whenever he went on stage, he would already be looking forward to finally finishing his shows. He wanted to stay in his hotel rooms all day. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see his family again, see his friends again.

It was all just too much.

The only thing he was looking forward these days was writing you-

Wait.

H: Hi, are you there?

Cherry: Yes! What’s up?

H: I have five minutes. I need to calm down.

Cherry: H, tell me what is bothering you

H: I’m feeling really homesick. I don’t enjoy going on stage anymore. I’m feeling really anxious to go. I just want to go home. I want to see my parents, my siblings, my friends.

Cherry: When will you see them again?

H: In a few weeks.

Cherry: Okay, here’s what you will do. You’ll go on that stage and think of them, how proud they are of you. They’re looking forward to seeing you. That should be your motivation. Seeing them soon.

H: Okay. That’s what I will do

Cherry: Good luck, H!

H: Thank you, Cherry

Harry put his phone away, realizing that he didn’t even have to put on a brave smile because he was already grinning like an idiot. Only because of you.

And when he sang, he didn’t only think of his family and his friends, he also thought of you.

—

Cherry: Are you a famous singer?

H: What?

Cherry: Because you always talk about your shows

Harry wanted, desperately wanted to tell you the truth, who he really was, but he couldn’t.

You were the first person he could truly be himself with, he could tell you everything without being afraid that you only listened to him and talked to him because he was Harry Styles.

You were just talking to H. He was not a one of the most famous singers when he was writing with you, he was just himself. He didn’t have to hold up to any expectations, didn’t have to be afraid to say the wrong things.

He didn’t want to lose that privilege, even if it meant lying to you.

H: Oh, I’m only the guitarist of a small band. I’m not famous yet

Cherry: That’s good, I was afraid you’d be famous

H: Oh. Would that be so bad?

Cherry: No, of course not! But most famous singers tend to be a little self absorbed. I don’t really like rich people

H: I get that, but not everyone’s like that

Cherry: That’s why I said MOST.

H: Who are your favorite singers?

Cherry: I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO ASK ME THAT! Okay so I’ll tell you my top three.

H: I have high expectations

Cherry: Taylor Swift

H: Great choice, but I already knew that.

Cherry: Hm. I love Artic Monkeys.

H: Oh, I love them, too!

Cherry: And my favorite singer is Harry Styles!!

Harry’s heartbeat increased by just looking at the message. He felt his anxiety returning. You were a fan of his? He hoped, with all his heart, that you wouldn’t be one of his toxic fans, that you didn’t sexualize him. Deep down, he knew you weren’t, bur he couldn’t shake off the fear.

H: Why do you like him?

Cherry: I love his music and he appears to be one of the kindest and sweetest people ever. At least in interviews and during his shows.

H: That’s it?

Cherry: Yes! I hate toxic fans that only sexualize him. At the end of the day, he’s one of us. He has feelings. Do you like him, too?

H: Yeah, I guess he’s okay

Cherry: You guess he’s okay? What kind of answer is that? He’s great.

H: Okay, okay, he’s great.

Harry widely smiled at the screen, biting his lip in excitement. You thought he was kind, you thought he was sweet.

You.

He felt ridiculous, for being so excited over it, but he couldn’t help it. He loved writing with you, he loved that he could talk to you all day, he loved that you listened to his problems and that you trusted him with yours.

You seemed like such a lovely person and he hated that others and you yourself didn’t see it that way. He hated that you thought that you were not enough when you already meant so much to him.

“What are you smiling at?”, Jeff chirped in. “You need to get ready.”, he smiled at Harry, but let his eyes wander to Harry’s phone.

Lately, Harry had been constantly writing with someone. He was always on his phone, smiling like an idiot. Jeff thought it were just some friends in the beginning, but the way Harry smiled from ear to ear was not the way he smiled at his friends. This was someone else.

Harry raised his head, a small blush creeping on his cheeks. “I’m not smiling.”

“You are.”, Jeff pointed out, sitting down on the couch next to him. “Who is it? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you so happy.”

Harry put his phone away, looking at his painted fingernails and deciding whether he should tell Jeff.

This whole thing was crazy. Would Jeff think so, too?

“It’s-“, Harry began, coughing before he continued. “It’s this girl I’ve been writing with. She’s really lovely.”

Jeff grinned at Harry, slapping him on his back. “It’s time for you to find love, too. Where’s she from? Maybe she can attend one of your shows.”

Harry bit his lip, sighing loudly. He didn’t want to say it, and yet he had to.

“She doesn’t know who I am. I don’t know who she is. We’re just writing. An old friend gave her the wrong number and-“

“What?”, Jeff questioned in disbelief. “I know.”, Harry whispered back. “But I can just be myself when we message each other, I don’t have to put up a facade.”

“Will you tell her who you are?”, Jeff wanted to know. “I- I don’t want to. But I know I’ll have to at some point. I just want it to stay like this, but I also want to know who she really is. What she looks like. I want to get to know her.”

Jeff bit his lip, not even knowing how to answer. It was stupid, writing with someone without even knowing who the person is. But Harry seemed to happy, so entranced by you. “You should eventually tell her. It’s going to mess everything up if you’re not honest.”, Jeff explained. “Now come on, let’s get you ready for the show.”

Before he stood up, he checked his phone one last time, seeing a message that sucked all the air out of his lungs.

You: He is great! I have two tickets for one of his shows. I really want to go, but I don’t have anyone to go with.

taglist: @st-ev-ie

[stcrgazings]

Mending the broken pieces | (c.l)

[WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME PT2]

This is the second part of why won’t you love me to read the first part is here

note: soooo, the part 2 of why won’t you love me is finally here and I am completely obsessed with how it turned out, I hope y’all enjoy it reading it just as much as I enjoyed writing it, happy reading!! Btw pls leave your feedback and let me know if you liked it.

pairing: charles leclerc x female character/reader

summary: in the second part of why won’t you love me, you and Charles try and fix things but will it be enough?

warning: alcohol, cursing, cigarettes, slight anxiety attack, crying, fighting, slight mentions of sex. (didn’t know if y’all wanted smut so I didn’t included it)

word count: 3.3K

———

It had been three days since you left.

And every minute that passed Charles felt the sink in his stomach dig further.

Okay so he had been the absolute biggest dick in the whole country of Monaco, and he had the time to realize that as the hours passed after you left.

He couldn’t believe the way he acted towards you and it angered him even more that it took, you leaving for him to realize it.

He took the last caramel brownie that you had made on Friday that he didn’t even notice to his mouth, as he dialed your phone once again for the thousand time on those last three days.

He knew he was acting selfishly the moment he arrived and locked himself in that stupid simulator room, he knew he should’ve just eat the pasta, he knew you were incredibly excited for the trip to Portofino and that that cancellation would’ve hurt you and he knew that you made the brownies just for him to try, and he knew it wouldn’t have killed him to watched the movie with you, but he just didn’t.

Why? Because he just didn’t feel like it, because for that whole week he just assumed you’d be there, that you’d just take it because he knew that you loved him, he straight out took you for granted, assuming you’ll always be there for him, even when he directed an entirety of 20 words to you in the whole first week of the summer break.

So he had called, and texted and apologized through voicemails and messages but without getting a response from you whatsoever, not even a delivered on the sight.

“Come on baby, pick up, please” he whispered to himself as the phone rang for a third time, the clock in the wall marking almost 2 am.

He was starting to get to the point where he was basically worried sick about where the hell you were, since you hadn’t given any sign of life since you left.

He had call your mum and your dad and even your sister who lived back in England with her husband.

I mean he knew you were okay since he called Daniel about a dozen times and when the Australian finally pick up he cursed him with probably every cursed word in the book, and after Charles had apologized and begged Daniel told him that you were alright, that he had picked you up from the apartment you both shared but he didn’t say where you were staying despite Charles pleads, Daniel cursed him again telling him that when he picked you up you were made a mess.

“She said she couldn’t breathe and wouldn’t stop fucking crying, you’re a fucking jerk, she’s so awesome and you know she doesn’t deserves whatever you did to her, so you either fix it, or leave her alone” the words of the Australian driver still resounding in the back of his mind, shattering his heart as pictures in the back of his mind the mess he had made upon you.

“The number you have dialed it’s not available at this time, please try again lat…” the robotic voice replied in what Charles in what it seem now like it was mocking from the million times Charles had heard it in the last few hours.

He throw himself on the couch as he check the chat he maintained with you, checking to see if maybe by a miracle of higher power you had answered his texts.

But you hadn’t, not even read them.

So he rubs his faces and eyes as he felt his stomach sank further as he imagined all the possible scenarios you could be in right now, ana he knew he deserved each and every one of them, for not loving you the way you deserved, for not treating you the way you deserved and for not showing that in fact he did love you and need you more than anything in this world.

He was angry and disappointed at himself, and he had taken out on you completely ignoring you and pushing you away and now you had disappeared from the face of the planet earth.

At least that’s what he thought as he opened the TikTok app in an attempt to keep himself awake.

And lord did that work as the first video that popped up on his screen was one of you in a very tight black dress dancing in a booth of a very crowded club as you were being sprayed in champagne by Kelly Picket and some of your other friends.

His heart started beating faster than the f1 car he drove daily as he watched the video again, trying to convince himself that maybe it was an old video from someone’s birthday that you had maybe mentioned to him a while ago and he had forgotten, but all that convincing was for nothing as he took a glimpse of the video’s caption.

“Y/N Y/L in a club in Monaco earlier tonight, Charles Leclerc keeps winning”

Oh God, you were at a club?!

(…)

To say you were completely, totally and utterly wasted was the understatement of the century.

And you knew that as you downed yet another bottle of water as you tried to wash off the feeling of nausea that camped in the back of your throat, as you everything around you was spinning at a high speed.

You were sitting in the sidewalk outside of the bar back pressed against a stop sign as you prayed that the ill feeling would go away, you had drank an insanely amount of vodka, trying to numb the pain, to forget Charles’ careless words and to shut your on thoughts as they kept repeating in the back of your mind like the most sick ass mantra.

why?

why?

why?

why won’t you love me?

You shook your head trying to get those stupids thoughts out of your head and as the phone screen lit up for the first time in three days it started beeping and vibrating like something you had never seen before, thousands of texts and calls from Charles one showing after the other all of them being pleads and apologies and love you’s.

You felt her eyes getting watery as she read one by one the texts she had received from her boyfriend, so with shaky hands and tears you started texting.

You wanted to say so much, you wanted to say how much you had missed him, how much you’ve been missing the thing you both used to have, but you’re brain kinda typed for itself as a single text was send in the chat you shared with the pilot.

I am trying to forgive you, but I’m struggling cuz I don’t know how.

sat. 2:16 am

You blocked the phone scared of what the answer of your boyfriend could be, a girl standing beside you, a worried look painted on her face.

“You ok?”

You chucked softly as you nodded drying the tears that kept running trough your cheeks.

“Girl you’ve been crying your eyes out for the past five minutes I’ve been here, you’re not okay, you need a cigarette”

You laughed again as you grabbed the cigarette from her hand.

“So what happened?”

“My boyfriend’s a douche” was the only thing you stated as you took a hit off the cigarette, throwing her head back in an attempt to relax herself.

“Yeah but he loves you” the girl said as she smiled as she smoked her cigarette too.

“I guess” you murmured softly as you press your plans against your face trying to keep

yourself awake and to dry the tears.

“If you have to guess than it’s probably not there” the pressure on your chest started to build up.

“If you had asked me a month ago, I would’ve probably said yes, but right now I feel like I’m falling from something that we built way too high and believe me, it’s a long way down”

“If you’re telling me this, after a fight you just had, then my chick from the club advise is, talk to him, you’re saying all that from a place of anger and fear, fear of what’s coming next, and what he might say to you but we all say things we don’t mean when we fight, so talk to him” the girl brushed her hand against your shoulder as you sobbed into your hands.

“What if he doesn’t love me anymore?” You asked as your voice broke a little, because she was right you were scared, scared of what he might say to you, of what might happen next, of everything.

“Well by the way your phone is beeping right now, he probably does, give him a chance.” She said as she pointed at the lit screen of your phone throwing her cigarette to the floor making her way back to the bar. “It’s better to regret about trying, than to regret of not trying at all, pick up, bye” she said goodbye as she entered the club once again with a small hand gesture.

So you made yourself look at the phone screen as Charles’ nickname “baby” adorned the screen surrounded with hearts and with all the bravery you had on your drunk self, you picked up.

“Mon amour, please let’s talk you— you know I love you I can— I can’t do this without you, please” the desperate pleads from Charles was the first thing that sounded, breaking your hearts as you head him uncontrollably sobbing waiting for your answer.

“Charles baby, calm down, please”

“I— I am so sorry, please let’s talk” he sobbed, you were now crying too, hating the current situation you both were in but you tried to compose yourself as you didn’t want Charles to get more agitated than he already was.

“I know, It’s okay, we’ll talk but can you come and pick me up? Please” you asked as a whisper basically, but you knew the answer before he spoke as the sound of keys clattering and a door opening before he spoke.

“I’ll be there in 10” Charles said before a comfortable silence filled up the line, you knew he hadn’t hanged up so when you were about to, he interrupted you as he dried the tears that fell through his cheeks. “I love you”

“See you, Charles” you muttered as you hung to start waiting for him in the empty street, texting your friends that you were leaving.

(…)

Charles didn’t lie when he said that he’d get there in 10 minutes, and you knew that the second you saw his Ferrari 488 pista spider across the street, all your friends cheering as you smiled towards them.

“Someone is getting makeup sex tonight!”

“Climb that man like a tree honey!”

Were some of the screams directed towards you as you gave them your goodbyes and the finger making your way to Charles car a surprise face showing up on you as the pilot got out the car, saying hi to you on a shyly manner as surrounded the car to open the passenger door just for you.

“For ma chérie” he said as he bowed for you to enter the car, making you giggle softly.

“Really, Charles?” You chuckled as you entered the car once again, him nodding.

“I just want to show you that I am, really sorry and that I shouldn’t have acted liked a dick” he said as he entered the car, putting his seatbelt on.

“We’ll you don’t really get to do that” you mumbled under your breath, as you took the hand he had placed on your tight back into his lap.

“But I am sorry, why won’t you let me show it to you?” He asked as he started driving back into your place, a serious expression planted on his face.

“Just like you didn’t let me show you how I love you back in our apartment? And plus how do I know this isn’t some kind of apology act? How do I know you won’t be back to your selfish and imbecile ways as soon we’re back to our apartment and I forgive you, how do I know you do love me?”

“I— I love you! I do!” He said as he stopped the car in a red light in the busy Monaco streets, the despair clear on his face eary eyes as he stared into you.

“That isn’t what you said just three days ago!” You fought back, because yes there wasn’t anything more in the world that you wanted than to fix things with Charles, but you were scared because you didn’t wanted to feel the way you felt last week locked in that miserable apartment taking all of Charles’ shitty attitudes, wondering what the fuck you had done wrong knowing there wasn’t any answer to that question, and wondering why your boyfriend won’t love you.

“And I didn’t mean any of it! I was angry and upset I know that I shouldn’t have said it and i am sorry” he argued back, but way more calmer than you, probably because he knew that you were drunk and if the both of you got upset and disturbed you’d probably won’t get to anything, and he didn’t want that, he wanted to fix things, to get you back, to go back to the thing you had before knowing that he was the one that wreck it, which destroyed him more.

“But how do I know that! How do I know you’re telling the truth!” You cried, making Charles’ stomach twirl inside of him, there was nothing that he hated more than to see you cry and he hated it even more knowing that he was the reason of it as he watched you visibly shake in the seat beside him, the alcohol in your system definitely not helping you as you started to feel the ferrari was getting smaller and the air was missing in you lungs.

He parked the car on the apartment parking lot as he got out of the car as fast as his feet allowed him to, surrounding the car to once again open the car door of your side but not for you to get out as he grabbed you by the legs turning around to face him as he crouched beside you, one of his hands grabbing you gently by the jaw, wanting for you to focus on him for a sec and not the awful thoughts he knew were filling your head by the second.

“Hey, hey, look at me, ok? Focus on me baby, c’mon” he called you out softly as he rubbed your tight in a sweetly manner in an attempt for you to steady your breath, you did as you were told wanting to calm down as well staring into his bright green eyes that somehow always gave you comfort.

“You know it’s true because…” he paused for a second trying to formulate what to say in his head as he smiled and continued. “Because I love with everything that i have, and I can’t even bare the thought of not having you in my life, because my chest hurts every time i even began to imagine a life without you by side, because this past few days without you in the house have been hell, because for i fact that can do this without and more importantly I don’t want to because baby the rest of the world doesn’t matter if I don’t have you, I want you and need you back because I don’t care about the fancy ass cars, and the parties and the championship because what’s the point of winning races if I don’t drink the celebratory champagne with you, because I love you, and you’re the only one I care and want me beside me, kissing as we celebrate and hugging after a crappy day and from now on there won’t be a day where I don’t show it to you I promise you that, and as well I’ll spend the fucking rest of the summer break proving to you that I am sorry for the way I treated you and how much I fucking mean it when I say I love you”

He wanted to say so much more, but he didn’t really had the chance to as you grabbed his face and kissed him.

Charles could swear he felt like he could breath again after those three miserable days as his lips touched yours, it was a sweet intimate kiss as your hand snaked to the back of his neck as the other grabbed him by the collar of his hoodie you wanting him to be as close as posible as he smiled into the kiss.

“I missed you” you finally admitted the confession that was stuck in the back of your throat since the moment you saw him arrive to the club making you both giggle.

“I missed so much too Mon Amour, all I’ve fucking done in these past days was be miserable as I thought bout you” you laughed into his lips as he began to leave a path of kisses through your jaw mumbling how much he had missed you in between the kisses.

“Couldn’t get you out my fucking head, it’s like you’re injected in me” he mumbled as you giggled softly once again, grabbing his face to kiss him again.

“I swear to god Leclerc, treat me or act the way you did again and I’ll cut your dick off” you threatened kind of jokingly making him join you in your soft laughter.

“Oh no chérie, that will not be happening again you have I promise you by my f1 driver honor” he said as he pressed one of his hands on his chest, by his heart like he was swearing in a court or something as the other snaked behind your knees as he grabbed you by surprise when suddenly he lifted you bridal style out of the car, making you squeal loudly as he closed the car door walking away from the Ferrari with you in his arms like it was nothing.

“That doesn’t even exist!” You chuckle as he got inside the elevator laughing too.

“It does!” He defended himself. “You’re just not a f1 driver so you don’t know about it amour”

You denied with your head still laughing as he smirked at you.

“How about we go back to our home baby, and you let me show you how sorry I am” he whispered, mouth pressed in your ear as you felt the skin in the back of your neck go cold and your lower abdomen flutter in anticipation

“Jummm, that does sound good Mr. Leclerc” you smiled at him, as you pressed your forehead with his as the elevator opened in your floor.

“Well let’s go baby” he said as he made his way on to your apartment.

So you both got into the apartment to the shower where Charles truly showed you how sorry he was he took off your dress and washed your body and hair leaving kisses in everything inch of it, to then wrapped you in a towel and brush your hair with you sitting in his lap.

Then you both basically pass out on the bed till the day after at 2pm.

Where he woke you up with the best breakfast you had eaten in a long time and two tickets for Portofino and all the bags already packed as he also showed you in some other ways how sorry he was.

THE END.

[brighter-by-the-daly]

Millie Bright x Reader

Part Four: Lover’s Auction

“Hey pretty girl” Millie’s soft morning voice awoke you from your slumber, prying your eyes open to see the beautiful woman peering down at you made your face light up. “What’s that cheeky smile for, aih?” she said tucking the duvet around your feet that had become uncovered in the night. “I like waking up to you” the smile was still plastered on your face as you sat up to take the cup of tea she’d made you out of her hands. Millie sat down on the edge of bed, draping an arm across your body, “big day today princess, how you feeling?” she asked laying her head down in your lap. You hadn’t been awake long enough to register your feelings about today and longed for a few more minutes of blissful ignorance before you had to acknowledge them. Today was the day you watch a live football game for the first time since mum passed 20 years ago. Football was your thing together and although you know that she’d love to see you go again, you felt guilty for going without her. It may not seem like a big deal but it was like a huge black cloud hanging over you. You’d recently started watching Millie’s Chelsea and England games on TV with your dad and the prospect of football as a whole certainly wasn’t as daunting as it once was but there was still an awful feeling in your stomach - the feeling of betrayal and guilt mixed into one huge cauldron about to boil over in your tummy.

Dad loved watching football with you again, for years he’d go to his friend’s house or the pub to watch Tottenham just so he wouldn’t upset you but now he gets to watch his beloved Spurs at home, without the fear of his baby girl having a complete meltdown. Every week he makes sure he’s home in time to watch Millie’s games with you, he’s filled you in on the new offside rule (one that’s changed many times since you last played), he always bought mountains of snacks home with him and even teases you about wearing the shirt of a rival team of his.

“The sun’s shining, it’s a lovely day” Millie pulled the curtains and interrupted your thoughts, she’d noticed you still hadn’t answered her question and went for the distraction technique instead. “Are you more of a pie or hot dog kinda person?” her question sparked the glint in your eyes to come back, “I’m more of a chips and hot chocolate kinda girl” you smiled, the rumble in your belly already tasting the overly salty chips you’ll get in the stadium. “Oooh, mayo or ketchup?” the blonde asked, busy getting herself ready for the day and determined to keep the conversation going so you didn’t slip back into overthinking. “Ketchup. Unless I’m drunk, then mayo” you laughed at her silly question, “I can work with that!” Millie replied as she tugged on her socks and trainers then told you that Rachel had already left to meet her team.

Throughout the morning Millie kept checking in, conscious not to push you into going if you weren’t 100% ready but also encouraging and reassuring you. She wanted you to do this just as much as you wanted to do it for yourself and her gentle and caring nature showed that. It was a lovely summers day so no coats were needed but you tied a hoodie around you in case it got chilly in the shade. Leaning over the sink to spit out the toothpaste and wipe your mouth Millie’s arms found their way around your waist, her chin nuzzled between your shoulder and neck as you looked at yourselves in the mirror. “We make a cute couple if I do say so myself” you laughed, turning your head to kiss her as she hummed in agreement. “How are you feeling gorgeous, you haven’t answered yet?” she said in an almost whisper, squeezing you a little tighter to make you feel safe. “Anxious, apprehensive, a teeny bit excited but that might be just because I get to spend the entire day with you” spinning around inside her arms to face her, interlocking your fingers behind her neck you stood together as one for a second. “I got you, okay?” she lingered a kiss on your forehead and waiting for your acknowledgement of her statement - Millie makes you feel safe, there’s no doubt about that and her pet names made you feel increasingly soppy. She didn’t want to rush you but it was time to leave, taking a deep breath before leaving the bathroom she lead you out to the car and drove to Bescott Stadium.

Walking towards the stadium there was a buzz in the air, an atmosphere that felt familiar as excitement started to build among fans. You watched families pass by with children in tow which made you smile, they had women’s names on the back of their shirts and everyone walked together with no fuss. Not like men’s games where they have to be separated, it made you feel happy to see how big women’s football had grown since you left it, they’re a big deal now! “Oh! Can I get a programme?” tugging on Millie’s arm to drag her towards the person selling them. Millie was wearing a cap with her hair tucked underneath to try and go as unrecognisable as possible – she could have easily snuck you in through the VIP entrance but wanted you to soak up the atmosphere from outside. “You can have whatever you want doll” she chuckled to herself, watching you become more and more excited with every step. Flicking through the programme Millie’s arm wrapped around your shoulders, peering over to look at the glossy pages too. “Shall I get you one of those?” chuckling as she pointed out the merch stall you were passing selling scarves with players faces on; she was joking but you were running with it! Your eyes lit up as you pulled her over to the stand and paid for two scarves with Rachel’s face on, “this is so funny!” holding up the face next to yours so Millie could take a photo of you in front of the stadium to send to your dad. You couldn’t believe what was happening, it all felt so huge! You never dreamed that the game you played as a child could lead to a professional career but here you were dating someone that proves you could of and should have!

As fans trickled through the turnstiles Millie took you through the main entrance and once safely inside took of her off her hat letting her blonde hair drop past her shoulders. You were lead to the bar where you had a few drinks to settle your nerves before making your way out onto the balcony to find your seats. The roar of the fans as the whistle blew took your breath away, you’d been prepped by Rachel the night before that it was big game and one that they should win but Villa’s form had been quite unpredictable lately. Millie pointed out her best friend on the pitch to you and talked you through the line up, giving you all the information you needed to enjoy the game, she gave a special nod to Jordan Nobbs who moved to Villa after 12 years at Arsenal last season and Kenza Dali who plays for France. Millie held your hand throughout and at half time you went to collect the chips and hot chocolates for you both, Millie insisted on paying but you beat her to it. It’s only fair seeing as she drove you halfway up the country! She doesn’t see it that way though and isn’t used to having someone pay for her, you said that if she continues to date you then it’s something she’ll have to get used to – it’s just chips after all! By the second half you got so into the game that you were shouting and clapping along with the crowd. Millie enjoyed watching you stand up and sit down every two minutes of the second half shouting support at the team, it was like watching a completely different person come alive! When Rachel scored twice in the space of five minutes you launched yourself into the air, noticing her point up to the sky then towards you and Millie in the stands. Your girl nudged into your shoulder, “that was for her dad.. and your mum” she smiled with glassy eyes at your confused face. “She said this morning that if she scores she’ll dedicate it to your mum, she always dedicates her goals to her dad” taking you in for a big bear hug. You didn’t know Rachel had lost a parent too and somehow felt more connected to her than before, it was cute that she dedicated a goal to your mum on your first game back and was very thoughtful of her. Villa won 5-0 which was a huge win for them being close to the bottom of the league apparently, the crowd went wild and you were in awe! You hadn’t seen a spectacle like that since your home team avoided relegation on the last game of the season way back when.

You had a great weekend in Birmingham and arriving home made you feel a little sad that it was over. Just like always dad was home to greet you as soon as you walked through the door, keen to hear all about your adventures and how the game went. He couldn’t wait to come with you when Chelsea play Tottenham in the future! “While you were gone I found this out the attic” he said handing you a large glitter covered cardboard box. “Is this..?” you asked getting a little choked up when he nodded. “The memory box mum made you, yeah. I thought you might like it now that you’ve got back into football?” Carefully lifting the dusty lid uncovered brightly coloured joy – your old kit, newsletters, signed England programmes, sticker books and posters, a shirt signed by your entire home team, your first pair of boots, game tickets, photos of you playing – there was so much inside you’d forgotten about! Tears fell from both of your eyes as you carefully admired every piece of memorabilia, each one bringing another memory to the forefront of your mind.

The next time you hung out with Millie you took the box with you, keen to show off your footballing past. You spoke about how mum took you to some of the England games when you were little and meeting the likes of Fara Williams, Alex Scott and Carly Telford, there was even photos of you with them after your last game with mum at a 2003 friendly. Millie smiled and admired the photos just as much as you did then scrolled through the contacts in her phone, pointing those same names out. Your mouth dropped at the blasé way she said it, these women you idolised growing up are actually in Millie’s phone, she knows them! “Who knows where you would have been if you didn’t stop (y/n/n)” a weak smile etched onto your face, you wondered if you would have been playing in the WSL against Millie if you carried on playing football, if mum was still alive… “she would be so proud of you, I bet she was right there with us this weekend” noticing sadness taking over, she didn’t mean for her comment to upset you and realised that what she said probably wasn’t the right thing to say in this moment. “It’s a good job you found me, aih?” squeezing you so tight you couldn’t help but laugh, “well it was my dad that found you actually!” Millie had this very unique quality to notice very quickly when your emotions change to negative and was very good at snapping you out of it which is something you admired about her. For so many years your anxiety had gone unnoticed by many yet here is a person that has only known you a few months and able to sense when you were overthinking. Millie carried on talking about your memories and asked if you planned on coming to her game at the weekend, looking at her holding your tiny pair of boots you couldn’t help but feel truly happy and finally felt ready enough to say yes! You couldn’t imagine the feeling you’d get watching your girl play live when watching Rachel gave you such a thrill. “Yeah, dad can’t wait!” you nudged into her side with a cheeky grin, “Rach and Sarah are gonna come down to sit with you too, I’ve already spoken to them” she assured. You thought that was lovely gesture, she’s pretty perfect like that.

Millie had arranged for you all to be in a box, her game was being played at the much bigger Stamford Bridge meaning there were a lot more people at this one. You arrived outside with your dad where they were giving out free flags at the entrance, you both grabbed one then bought a programme and a scarf with Millie’s face on. Dad took a photo of you just like you did at Villa’s game and sent it to her, the photo made you laugh so much your ribs hurt! You made your way to your seats and shortly after you arrived so did Rachel and Sarah. You were introduced to her girlfriend and dad was quick to introduce himself and handed out business cards before you told him off. “This isn’t a PR event” you hissed at him, slightly embarrassed that he couldn’t hold back from the opportunity.

Watching the game with dad felt nostalgic, he was smiling throughout watching you enjoy yourself again and couldn’t help imagine what your mum would have thought. His master plan had worked! Well.. he only thought he’d get you back into watching the game, he didn’t expect you to start dating a footballer! He could tell what a massive difference meeting Millie had made to your mood and outlook on life and hoped you’d make it official soon. He’s never liked any of your partners but this one he can certainly get on board with!

Part Five

[jaegeraether]

Sunsets and footballers (Part 48)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (43) & Jordan Nobbs x Leah Williamson Mini (5)

Masterlist (other parts here)

((**Just a little one tonight...I've been busy. Also it's very emotional...Sorry!**))

“Tell me everything.”

Leah downed her second drink in a row. “The awards are going to start.”

“Not for another twenty minutes…”

The England Captain sighed and put her head in her hands for a minute or so, YFN leaving her to her thoughts until she was ready. She came back up with decisiveness, looking at YFN.

“The first I heard of Mark was when I was promoting my book last year. I was promoting it around social media and all that, and one of the things I did was a sort of sit down talk with JK Rowling about it. She’s a children’s author, my book is for children, it just made sense to everyone, including my publishing agency. Anyways, Joe’s team were confident that it would be a massive boost for her after the previous comments she’d made. They planned it so that doing this little interview with me would make people start to like her again and boost her reputations back up and… well Mark didn’t like that. He approached me without my team around and told me to make sure the interview never came out. I talked to my team and Joe’s team and they didn’t seem surprised he’d done that. My team told him no. The next thing I know, he approached me with a video of…” Leah closed her eyes and shook her head as if to rid herself of the memories.

“Leah you didn’t…” YFN stopped herself.

“No! No, I didn’t cheat on Jordan. The video was of Jordan and I, but you couldn’t tell it was her. You could definitely tell it was me.”

YFN heart sunk and she reached out to touch Leah’s arm reassuringly. “How.. how bad was it?”

YFN could see the tears forming in her eyes. She pulled her head back almost looking at the ceiling as she tried to keep them at bay and dabbed her eyes. “I’m sorry, this is relief more than anything. You’re the first person I’ve told.” She met YFN’s eyes again with a small smile that wasn’t fooling anyone. “It was bad. You can see most of me naked and the back of Jordan’s head between my legs, though it just looks like it could have been anyone. The problem was me obviously coming on camera. We were near a window in a high-rise so the only thing I can think of is drone footage… I didn’t see it…”

She was the first person she’d told. Leah had kept it all to herself. She squeezed her arm.

“It’s not illegal to video someone inside their home, but it’s a strong case for being unethical..”

“Yeah, my lawyers eventually worked that one out. But I didn’t want to drag Jordan down in my mess. I thought I was going down, and I..” she looked over at Jordan. “I didn’t want to drag her down with me. She deserves better.” She looked back at YFN. “You would have done the same for Lucy.. I know you would have.”

It all started making sense to her then. Leah’s talk to YFN when she was arguing with Lucy about ‘don’t fall into the trap of pretending it’s for the best when it’s not. I’ve made that mistake and can’t watch you do the same..’

Leah broke up with Jordan because of this. Because of Mark. Her eyes searched for him in the crowd as she spoke.

“So you broke up with Jordan because you were worried he would make it public and ruin your career and Jordan’s by association. It’s taken your lawyers a little over a year to win the rights to the video, so you’re trying to win Jordan back, and now he’s threatening to leak it out of spite?” Her words were said between gritted teeth.

Her eyes scanned over Lucy, only pausing long enough to see her look of curiosity and worry at the expression on YFN’s face which she guessed was fierce.

“That sums it up pretty well actu-“

Leah cut herself off when YFN stood and left, walking towards the man she’d finally spotted in the crowd. She didn’t care where she was.

“You!” She said, standing in front of him. “You like threatening people and ruining relationships, do you? What exactly do you want?”

Mark looked a little embarrassed and waved the people he was talking to away. “Leave us, I’ll find you.” He turned to YFN. “You want to do this here and now?”

“You fucking started it.”

A hand grabbed hold of her arm and she didn’t have to look to know it was Lucy.

“YFN, don’t. It’s not worth it.” Leah pleaded from YFN’s other side, her hand also finding her arm as she murmured the next bit quietly. “Let the lawyers handle it.”

“I want to know,” she said, fists balled up. “What do you want?”

He looked around as if to make sure they weren’t making a scene before he bent down. “You know what I want. Joe-“

“Joe has nothing to do with us, and even if she did, we don’t represent whatever she did to hurt you. So leave us alone.”

Mark laughed. Actually laughed. “As if you don’t have enemies as well, YFN?”

“That’s enough,” Lucy growled over her shoulder.

“No,” he replied harshly with a glare at Lucy before his attention turned back to YFN. “This world is built on enemies. Take a think about those photos of you and your girlfriend at the airport, hm? I don’t live in Barcelona. None of the people who work for me do. So take a moment to rethink… do you have any enemies? Particularly ones in.. oh I don’t know… Barcelona?”

Her stomach dropped lower. The photos hadn’t been the best quality, and she’d wondered if they were taken from a phone. Of course they would have.

“K…Kristie?”

“Not so innocent, are you?”

Lucy took a step forward when they were interrupted.

“Lucy! Leah! It’s good to see you again!”

They turned and paled as William and Catherine approached. They looked stunning, William in a tux and Catherine in a dress.

The five of them composed themselves quickly enough that the tension went unnoticed.

Lucy greeted the pair first and then stepped back, placing a reassuring hand on YFN’s lower back. She was the only person who knew that Catherine was her ‘Joe’. Leah greeted them next with a textbook smile, teeth showing, followed by Jordan. Mark had managed to sneak away, but not before flashing YFN another look as if he’d won. She pretended not to see. After the pair greeted the three lionesses, William’s attention turned to her.

“YFN, right?” She curtsied slowly to get her thoughts together. How did he know who she was? Luckily he continued as he shook her hand with a smile. “You’re the manager of Lumos, the new company for women’s sports, yes?”

YFN nodded. “That’s me. Lovely to meet you.”

“Fantastic work. Absolutely fantastic. I’m into football myself, if you can’t tell,” he joked, gesturing to the three lionesses beside her. He stepped just far enough to the side for Catherine to give her a similar greeting. Gosh, she was good at pretending they didn’t know each other. YNF shook her hand also.

“William is a sports fan but even more so a football fanatic,” she explained as if she didn’t know. The eye roll really sold it.

YFN had done her research and knew that William was the President of the Football Association, amongst his other titles.

“Catherine spotted some football stars, knowing I couldn’t resist coming over and saying hello,” he grinned. Ah, that made sense. This was Catherine’s way of intervening. She must have seen. “Anything to get out whatever we were previously talking about.” He was cheeky, which was refreshing. “Have you heard of Lumos?”

Catherine nodded. “Yes, they seem like a wonderful new start up,” she turned to YFN. “Is it just for women’s football or will it be for other things?”

“Starting off with women’s football. Aiming to have full coverage over all leagues and internationals by the middle of next year. Following that we’ll expand to other female sports which are lacking attention like cricket and tennis, and from there we’ll see. As of right now its main purpose is to bridge that deficit of coverage of women’s sports.”

“That’s excellent,” William said. “And much needed. Women’s sports have a lot of supporters and it would give young girls better access to sportswomen to idolise growing up. I remember you all saying how difficult it was growing up without that..”

The lionesses nodded, and Leah stepped in as Captain, supporting her and mentioning how Lumos was already becoming very popular with the players around England.

They spoke for a little longer, the conversation made easy by William. He was great at talking in general and holding interest. They had to leave after five full minutes of conversation, apologising as they were expected to meet some more people before the awards started. YFN was fine with that, she had too much on her mind to be entertaining a conversation when she felt like she needed to be sick.

“Fucking Kristie,” Lucy growled when they’d left.

YFN didn’t say anything, the feeling of dread sitting there.

“What are you going to do?” Jordan asked softly.

“She violated her restraining order. I’m going to get airport footage of her there.”

YFN was almost zoned out, barely hearing as she tried to find Mark again. Kristie hovering around them left her nervous and scared, but she couldn’t get over the feeling that came with knowing what he’d done to Leah and Jordan without caring. Her eyes wandered but couldn’t find him and regardless, the trio wouldn’t have let her confront him again anyways.

“It’s not worth it,” Lucy said again. YFN looked at her harder than she ever had so she knew she was serious.

“Yes, it is.”

Her message got across and Lucy looked to Leah who was biting her lip. Jordan saw Leah hesitating and shook her head. She was done. She walked off. Lucy went to follow but YFN stopped her and her hand found Lucy’s, entwining their fingers. Lucy softened.

YFN turned to Leah. “We have ten minutes until we need to be seated, Leah.”

“I don’t deserve her,” she whispered. “I can’t drag her into this mess..”

“Leah…a mistake repeated more than once is a decision. Don’t make her decision for her again. Give her a choice, and give her the truth.”

Leah’s lips parted and her face fell as the words hit her hard. She nodded and walked over to Jordan. Lucy and YFN found a comfortable spot of their own and YFN told Lucy at the exact same time that Leah told Jordan. Lucy’s face fell and her head whipped around to find Mark, but was stopped by YFN catching her cheek with the palm of her hand.

“No, Luce. Not tonight.”

She planted a soft kiss to her cheek as Lucy calmed herself, turning to watch Leah tell Jordan. They’d never seen Jordan’s face drop so fast. She was distraught. Leah hadn’t left her because of her. Leah had left her to protect her. Jordan’s lips trembled and for the first time in a long time, she let Leah hold her, and stroke her back as she cried. Finally. Catharsis.

They’d all managed to tidy themselves up before the awards and they sat together in pairs, YFN noticing Leah’s hand was made open and available to Jordan which she eventually took. Their fingers laced together like Lucy’s and YFN’s while they listened to speeches and only then did she let herself relax and enjoy the fact that Lucy was here. She couldn’t help the looks of adoration.

“Your boxing class,” she murmured during a break.

“Pushed it to tomorrow,” Lucy smirked. “Figured some cardio on the day before El Clasico would be a good idea.”

YFN hummed her approval and gripped her bicep with her spare arm. “You came.”

“Of course I did, little one,” they shared a look, not really caring that they were in public. “Besides…I’m glad I did with this drama.”

“I’m glad you did too,” she sighed, her eyes finding Jordan and Leah again. “I really needed you tonight.”

She needed her every night, but she wasn’t about to admit that.

The awards were a nice distraction and they caught up with a few of the other lionesses: Alex Scott, Chloe Kelly, Mary Earps, Jill Scott and a few celebrities outside of football Leah introduced them to. After the drama of Mark, they’d all fallen into the enjoyment of the night and each other’s company. Most people left the venue quickly, however the four stayed and enjoyed the soft music and relaxed atmosphere as opposed to the chaos of the after party. YFN found herself slow dancing in Lucy’s arms, joined by several other couples who preferred that to a night club scene. They whispered sweet nothings to each other as they swayed, giving Leah and Jordan time to speak quietly at a table alone. Only when the conversation appeared to be ending, did they stop and join them.

They stopped for takeout on the way home, looking incredibly overdressed as they did so which amused them all. They sat and ate at the takeout place which was far too dirty for their clothes, but again, they were enjoying themselves and the company of each other. Somehow with all of her condiments, Lucy had managed to not drop any onto her outfit, and the trio let her know just how impressed they were. The table she’d been leaning over though…that needed a bucket and a mop. Her excuse was that she hadn’t eaten since lunch, though they knew her better than that.

They arrived back at Lucy’s house late, undressing, showering and getting into comfy clothes.

“I want to see it,” Jordan said.

Leah didn’t bother arguing. She knew she’d been wrong to keep it from her. She looked at YFN and Lucy who were already giving them space. It was none of their business.

Jordan watched the video with fear. It didn’t go for long, and it was exactly as Leah had described. They were in a high rise apartment they’d booked for a romantic night together in London. Leah was naked and propped up on pillows on the couch, and Jordan’s mouth was on her. It was impossible to tell it was Jordan as the couch arm cut off all of her body besides the head as it moved, her hands gripping Leah’s hips as she ate her. Leah was a mess at this point. Her hair was out and she was desperately chasing the high that Jordan was pushing her towards. She was a sweaty, moaning mess, unable to keep still, her hands finding Jordan wherever she could. The end of the video was Leah orgasming, her back arching and a whimper torn from her throat, her nipples excited and pointing to the ceiling. It was confronting to watch, even without sound.

They didn’t speak when it was done. Jordan handed her phone back wordlessly and Leah picked up her bag. Jordan walked her to the door. There hadn’t been any discussion on Leah not staying, it was just something they both knew was right.

“I love you,” Leah said from the doorstep, her bag slung over her shoulder. “I made a decision without involving you. I thought I was protecting you, but I took your choice away. I never stopped and will never stop loving you. I can’t change the past, but I can tell you here and now that I’ll give you everything, all of me, and I’ll never make a decision without you again. I’ve lost a year with you, and I can’t stand to lose another second. If you take me back and realise you can’t trust me….then I’ll bear that burden of pain and I need you to know that I’d never beg you to stay just for my feelings. I’d hold the door open and offer you everything I had, because you deserve everything, Jord. Just…think on it.”

Leah leant down slowly and kissed Jordan on the cheek one long, lingering kiss. Jordan’s head turned into her and their foreheads met, lips hovering over each others. Leah cupped her cheek and wiped away the tears that her words had drawn from Jordan. She was tempted to kiss her, but she was not going to make another mistake. It was Jordan’s choice from here on.

“You’re my person. I love you, Jord.”

And with that, Leah was gone, Jordan watching as she did. She watched her open her car door and toss her bag in. She watched her sit in her seat and put her seatbelt on. She watched her lips tremble as she exhaled her emotions, gripping the steering wheel. Her red eyes found Jordan on the doorstep with her arms wrapped around her body to shield herself from the cold. That should be her keeping her warm. She started the car as her own tears fell. Jordan watched until she could no longer see her car, her heart aching for those happy years with Leah again.

She went back inside and YFN was waiting for her with her arms out. Jordan planted herself there, letting her emotions out in loud sobs. Lucy came past and wrapped her arms around them both tightly, kissing Jordan on the head.

They ended up on the couch, Jordan crying herself to sleep in YFN’s arms, Lucy tucking a blanket over them. She settled herself on the adjacent side of the L-shaped modular couch, her head near theirs and her pinky finding YFN’s.

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c1. 'The Pilgrimage'.

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs.

song to listen to when reading this: I think, Tyler, The Creator.

abstract: this is Simon, this chapter is about the time Jude crashed a meeting and started talking about a book or some shit, no one really knows who she is or what she does for a living, she is annoying as hell. don't have anything more to add, honestly. bye.

A year later she appeared on the door of the briefing room. He almost didn't recognise her. First of all, she wasn't what he was expecting when Laswell said someone named 'Jude' was going to drop by cause they had 'something to say'. Fucking weird introduction as well… The captain already knew about Jude, apparently. Had they worked together before, he didn't know. She opened the door and the world stopped. Her eyes scanned the room, she was attentive. She looked smart. No one said a word. She looked exactly like she belonged in every room she had ever been in. She looked like fire. A dark fire, a smoky fire. She was dressed in black, she was stoic. Like someone who works in an office or a law firm. She stood as he remembered her, with her back straight. Between the eight men in the room, no one dared to speak. Yet, she was calm. 'Captain' she was the first to speak. Her voice was low. She had an accent. 'I think Laswell told you I was coming' she continued.

Her accent, where are you from? Southern England? Are you Australian? No, you're way too good looking. Definitely not American English, she sounded posh. She looked like she had just been on vacation in a sunny place. She looked like caramel. She blinked slowly, while the captain approached her, saying that they were in the middle of a briefing and she could wait in his office. No don't go just yet, he thought, I haven't finished. He watched as her lips gently curled into a smile. Not a good smile though, a 'poor man, you really are stupid' smile. She relaxed her shoulders and shifted her balance. She wore high boots. She was tall and slender, she was swallowing the room like a black hole. 'I don't think I made myself clear.' She said. The air was cold around them, like someone opened a window in the back to let in a cold, silent winter breeze. 'I think you want to ear about this now.' She finished. She was still smiling, she looked like reality was whatever she wanted it to be. The captain stood speechless but complied, made her have a seat in front of him. Now that she was sitting closer to him, he had access to more details. She had earrings, lots of them. She was right-handed. She had a tattoo on her left wrist. An arrow?

'I found out something that I believe you could use for your… ', she was trying to find the right word ' …investigation.' Her hair was long and shiny. How can you work in a world of cruelty and death and war? What is your business here? His colleague in the seat next to him glared in his direction, as to say, why is this stranger talking to our captain like she owns the building. At this point, did she own the building? And why is everyone calling you Jude… The captain stood captivated by the presence of the woman sitting in front to him, calm and collected.

'Yes, Laswell mentioned you recently had a session with Amir…' Price was trying to collect his papers on the desk, but she was faster. 'Arash, sir' she corrected him, leaning closer to the table. 'Arash Tehrani'. She slid a folder on the desk in the direction of the captain. A folder with his details? How did Jude have access to those. From where he was sitting, he could see the curve of her nose, and part of her rosy cheek. She looked European. Russian? Swedish? 'There we go, Tehrani. What's his deal?' asked Price crossing his arms on his chest. 'Well, we had a session on Monday, we normally do two sessions per week. He recently requested to see me only once every seven days', she started, but the captain interrupted her, with a look around the room. As he forgot there were 7 other soldiers in the room with them. 'Jude does therapy', he informed them, 'Military counsellor. It's a programme for soldiers who require some… some extra help. Professional help. Please go on.'

So that's what you are, a therapist. You're a psychologist, were you a psychologist when he gave you that ride to your house a year back? Why were you scared back then, why aren't you scared now? 'Yes’, she continued talking, 'we started to have one session only, I didn't think much of it, I thought it was a bit strange considering he really needs therapeutic help, and he knows it.' She paused for a second. She talked like she learned English as a second language by the choice of her vocabulary, she talked like an Harvard professor. Her eyelashes were long, painted with black makeup. She looked down for a second, lost in thought. 'He was stressed. Something was bothering him. He was fidgeting with a pillow in my office, he was stuttering.' She was talking with her hands a lot, making gestures. Her nails were very long, black and pointy. Her fingers were slender and bony. 'I asked him what was bothering him but he brushed off my question, and he usually doesn't do that, he takes therapy very seriously'. Everyone in the room was captivated by her little tale. 'I tried to get him to talk about his situation with his promotion, but that wasn't it. I tried to ask him about his night terrors but he wouldn't speak. He told me…', she reached for her bag, ' he told me he had found this book. To read it, that it would inspire me.' Her voice was solemn. She was worried, she was getting everyone on this little secret of hers. He saw some of his teammates approach the table to see the book. He stood up as well, and so did she. She wanted to remain in charge. She was still very short compared to the rest of the people in the room, yet she had an aura around her. Of power. Of knowledge. She let everyone get a good look of the cover before opening the first page.

''The Pilgrimage' is a fictional and religious novel about revolution and freedom.' All eyes were on her. 'It's about this young soldier who fights for his country, loses his family… betrays his friends…' she said that last part with particular distress. 'He begins his journey in the River Jordan, he says it's the first challenge of the journey… Then he goes all the way through the desert, walks some more and he prays and he ends up in the Persian Gulf. The whole story is basically about him walking and praying until he finds his truth' she concluded, having a look around the men's confused faces. She even looked at him for a second. Does she remember? Her face showed no emotion. 'What stood out to me is that you were recently there, in a town called Al-Jareena if I'm not mistaken.' She stated, the captain nodding. 'You were there to find and kill Mahdi Khorram. The dictator?' she said. Price was nodding, conscious that the recent mission didn't exactly go as planned. Ambushed. His eyes are fixated on the girl. She probably already knew this, since she knew so much. How did she know so much? 'You didn't find him. He got away because he knew you were coming. Am I correct?' She didn't wait for any of them to respond. I hate you, he thought. 'As if someone told him you were coming. You know,' she shifted her balance again on her high boots, she bent over the table to reach the book and open it, 'During his journey the young soldier meets many friends, it's a Little Prince kinda thing.' She quickly looked up to realise none of the present soldiers knew the Little Prince. She resumed, 'He meets friends, but always leaves them behind or kills them in the name of God. All of his friends have English names. All of them don't support his journey. He knows what he's supposed to do, he hears a calling. So you were in the exact same part of the world where the first part of this book is set.' The pieces of her puzzle started to take form into his head, and he could see his companions reacting to her words. 'Your mission goes to shit and you think there's a mole in your base, because all your attacks failed. My patient is just now changing his behaviour and letting me know he recently found this book that tells a tale about revolution and…' One of the men stopped her, 'Are you saying he could be the mole? That he is in contact with the troops in Al-Jareena and he's…' she stopped him again, regaining control of the room. 'He's protecting the leader of his country, yes.'

She was looking at Gaz. 'Yes I think he disagreed with your plan of execution, if you remember correctly he left the briefing room months back when the mission was announced. You told me some of your soldiers weren't happy with the attacks, you were talking about him.' They looked at the captain, she was referring to him. So they had worked together, they knew each other. He nodded. 'He's attached to his country and wanted to find a way to protect it. His family is there. I think he read the book and found the strength to go against the army. I did a little research on Arash…' she started speaking again, he was surprised she was still talking. How much did she know, why was she telling them this, why hadn't they figured it out before her?

He watched her take out of her bag another folder, put it on the desk and open it. By then, the group of soldiers were gathered around her. It was printed CCTV footage, what she had in the folder. 'Your first attack was October 5th. This is my patient on the day before, exiting the base to go to a doctors appointment. You know, the reason he's not deployed is because of a hand injury.' She moved the first picture to show the second and third. 'All the days before your failed attacks, Arash would exit and come back in the span of an hour. October 11th and 23rd. So I drove from here to the hospital, to check the timings' she raised her eyes for a second. Now that she was closer he could see them better, they were green. Light green. 'It doesn't add up, he couldn't have made it no matter how fast he was going. Even got reports back from the doctors, had to pretend I was his girlfriend', she let out an embarrassed chuckle, 'he was never there'. She finished. Price breathed out, a breath he was probably holding in from the moment she started talking. 'It's a pretty bad accusation you're making Jude'. He uncrossed his arms, keeping his gaze on the pictures.

'I know, captain. That's why I did some more research.' She was serious again. She was trying to prove her point. How much proof did she have? Christ, who is she? 'This is his bank statement, now,' she stopped briefly to make sure everyone was seeing the printed page in front of them. How the hell… 'I am not gonna share how I got this. I would like to direct your attention to the three amounts that I highlighted.' She did, in fact, highlight in yellow three recurring payments of 5.000 dollars to a foreign account. She pointed at the paper with her fingers, with her pointy nails. She was a witch. 'He has been transferring the same amounts every month since the mission was announced… When was it announced, do you remember?' she asked, but no one spoke. They did that thing when no one really knows the answer and no one will admit it. 'I'm gonna remind you, it was August 27. Guess when he made the first transfer.' She waited for them to have a look. It was August 28. 'He did it every month since, same day. Same bank account.'

'He's transferring his founds at home for his family or…?' The Scottish man to his left spoke and she finished his sentence, 'or for himself. Cause he's planning to go back and fight for his country.' She was done. It sure made sense, straight out of a movie. Jude had just turned around their mission, with her little earrings and shiny nails. Jude, the therapist. Why was she aware of all this stuff and not them? What the fuck was going on, it felt like the most surreal experience of his life. 'Thanks Jude, I'll make a call, would you mind waiting here a moment?' said the captain before quickly turning away.

She still looked calm. She gathered her things, the folders and the book and put them in her bag. He wanted to approach her and ask her about what had happened a year back. He could, if he wanted to. Make it look like he was asking about her findings. He was Lieutenant, he could ask her. He moved slightly close to her, checking his companions were chatting amongst each other before speaking. 'Do we know each other?' he said. She had to remember him, his mask at least. She looked up at him for a millisecond. It was enough. She had beautiful eyes, beautiful green big bright eyes. She looked at him and she looked like a fox. He could see her makeup on her cheeks he could see her hair brushing off her shoulders, the skin around her nose slightly red, like when you blow your nose too many times. 'We got drunk together in Ibiza and got matching tattoos, I'm surprised you don't remember.' She answered. What? Who the fuck are you, what are you doing here? What kind of answer is that, you can't speak to me like this. He stood silent next to her, she was finishing up packing her bag. She put a strand of hair behind her ear. She looked up again. It was his turn to say something. Should he say something funny? Was she expecting a joke? 'No seriously' he said, he spoke gently, like she was going to fly away if he raised his voice, 'I remember you. I gave you a ride to your house in June I think.' She smiled a little, but she wasn't looking at him anymore. 'Yeah, I know. I remember.' she said. 'What happened back then?' he continued, but his time ran out, the captain was done speaking on the phone. 'That's classified' she murmured. Honestly, he wouldn't be surprised to find out she killed somebody. 'Alright Jude, thanks again ehh…' Price stared speaking, regaining the attention of the group. 'We're gonna keep an eye on Arash and try to find out more… Thanks again' She offered him a little smile and put her bag on her shoulder. Price was opening the door for her. She was gone just like that. A mirage.

'That was intense'.

notes: I did it, there you go chapter one!! so, what’s the deal with this bitch? what happened last year? i feel like a LOT of this fic is just Jude’s life and Ghost is a part of it. she has a lot going on all the time, she's cool as fuck and Ghost just manages to squeeze into her world. ideally, this is set before mwii, we will get to those events in about 30 chapters...a reminder, everything about this story is fictional! everything is invented, none of this is real. if a book named the pilgrimage with the same plot exists then it's a weird coincidence. let me know what you think!!

love, mare.

@ummmmmwat @ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi

[strawberryblue-blog]

Say that again. Part 2. —Mason Mount

warning: a little of angst, curses.

words: +3k

#sexynote: thank you sm for the support <3 More is coming soon ;) xoxo

8 months later.

Returning to London was a difficult decision to make. Especially when you had left everything behind, with thousands of doubts and uncertainty, not knowing what would happen.

It was no secret that what hurt you the most was leaving Mason, after that night of your goodbye, you never saw him again. And you could still feel your skin crawl at the memory of his confession and his wish for you not to leave. But it was your decision and you were as eager as anyone to leave England to start a new life in Norway.

Every day that passed, you were convinced that you had already forgotten Mason and after so many months, he would have forgotten you too. It was obvious that his was a whim, as it had always been.

The flight home was pretty smooth and quick, excited to see your friends again. Sophia would be waiting for you at the airport and the anxiousness made you shiver as you walked through the gate carrying your things, expecting to see your best friend on the other side and just as you imagined, there she was. You ran to her and grabbed her in a big hug when she opened her hands to receive you, wrapping you in a big, warm embrace.

"I missed you so much," she squealed happily, still turning in her embrace.

"Me too, darling" you kissed her cheek softly.

"What about me?" you heard someone's manly voice speak. Of course he had come. He never let his girlfriend go anywhere alone.

"Mr. Havertz"you greeted with a laugh, jumping into his arms.

"Hi, little bug" you whispered, slipping into his embrace. "I almost didn't recognize you".

"It's only been eight months, Kai," you tapped his shoulder gently.

"It's been a long time since you left, bug". You smiled a little, nodding.

"Well, we're leaving now," your friend took your hand, leading you to the exit. Her boyfriend snorted at having to be the one to take all your stuff, and don't lie, it was kind of funny.

You arrived at his house after a trip full of questions and answers from both of you, especially Sophia, who wanted to know everything about your trip and your new life. You were very excited to see your friends and your parents again, who you missed like nobody else.

"Tomorrow is the game, will you come," asked Kai when they were having dinner. "I'll see my parents," you said, denying. "Maybe I'll see you later"

Sophia gave you a glimpse of complicity. Kai didn't know what had happened with Mason, you never told him and you really hoped Mason hadn't told him anything. You knew Kai was protective, he wouldn't choose you or Mason, but putting the pressure on him to know what happened between you wasn't something you wanted for their relationship, as Kai and Mason were good friends and work colleagues.

After dinner, Kai went upstairs to take a shower while you and Sophia stayed after dinner, drinking a last glass of wine.

Your friend didn't broach the subject and you were grateful she was so empathetic to you because coming back home had already upset your stomach and talking about Mason would make everything worse.

So you stayed up late chatting, trying to hide the urge to ask about him that you had. You'd only seen a couple of news stories about the club and that he was dating a famous girl, but you never inquired because you didn't want to go back to your past.

(...)

The next morning you woke up and had breakfast with your friends, still talking about so many things that had happened since you had returned. You were waiting for your mother's message that she would pick you up, but after a while, you were still waiting.

"We're leaving now," Sophia announced from the door of your room.

"See you later," you waved. "Try to score a goal for me," you squealed to Kai when he stuck his head out.

"I will," he said proudly, making you smile. -See you later, right?

You nodded, raising your hand to dismiss him. You went back to lie in bed waiting for news from your mother, so after a while you decided to call him.

"Honey!" she squealed happily.

"Hi mom, I'm here waiting for you for lunch" you said quickly.

"Oh, honey" she said somewhat disappointed. "Your father had forgotten we had a golf game and I didn't let you know."

"Really, Mom?" you snorted.

"Honey, we talked on video call yesterday and you'll be staying for almost two months. We'll have time to catch up and cuddle a lot" I commented amused.

You smiled as you heard your father's call from afar.

"It's okay, Mom" you agreed. "Call me when they're done."

"Peter, honey, T/n on the phone!" she shrieked towards your father. "He's about to play, see you honey!"

You laughed with a laugh as you heard your dad say something to your mom that you couldn't understand. You really missed your parents and it was true, you still had a lot of time to catch up. Going back to London had really made your head a mess, full of nostalgia.

You snorted, dropping the phone as you stared at the ceiling. Now what would you do? You closed your eyes trying to think.

I need you. I've always liked you.

Mason's words echoed in your head and the memories of that day came back to your mind.

You brought your hand to your chest as your heart began to pound. Don't think so hard, your subconscious said.

And just as you thought, you got up and grabbed your bag quickly, heading out to the street. You called for a cab and it didn't take you long to get to the city party. The streets were decorated in that tone blue you liked so much, people walking in them wearing club shirts, you could even read a few with your name on them.

Everything was just as you remembered.

You called Sophia and told her what had happened, so she quickly came for you at the entrance of the stadium.

You didn't even know why you had come. You just wanted to feel again what you had felt a long time ago. Your ears filled with the chorus of the stands at full volume, while the screams could be heard for miles. Your skin crawled as your eyes focused on the field, trying to find the one person you had come for.

That's when your eyes found him.

Number 19 in the center of the field.

You sighed settling into your seat as Sophia's hand took yours squeezing it, as your friend could see how you were somewhat distant from the new feeling.

The match was quite intense for both, hopefully the match would end with a victory for the blues. Your eyes hadn't stopped following number 19 since you had arrived, trying to meet his gaze but you knew he wouldn't look at you. He didn't even know you were back in London, not even that you were in the same stadium as him.

When the referee blew the final whistle, you stood up from your place, ready to go to the car to wait for your friends. Among the people you tried to walk, when a premonition echoed in your chest. Out of the corner of your eye you turned your head slightly, meeting those eyes for the first time.

Those deep black eyes staring back at you from the center of the court, recognizing you in the crowd. Mason stood static for a few moments and though you did too, you lowered your head to keep walking. The heart in your chest was beginning to pound as the urge to cry came over you.

You ended up in the aisles of the stadium on the verge of tachycardia for remembering what had happened that night. His lips on yours, his words, his touch. You hadn't felt anything like that since you left and you were sure you'd never feel it again, but you couldn't let him win this fight.

The hustle and bustle of the crowd began to die down as you moved deeper into the corridors, you picked up the phone to call your friend, trying to find your way out, you had forgotten how to escape this place. A jolt to your body made you stop, someone else had bumped into you as you were trying to read the exit signs.

"I'm sorry" apologized the other person.

And suddenly, you stopped breathing.

There it was. The one person who was capable of taking your breath away. The person you were most afraid to meet. Was the universe against you?

Why didn't you stop, why didn't you apologize and act like a normal person, why didn't your body seem to connect with your mind, why didn't your body seem to connect with your mind?

"Y/n..." he whispered.

A shiver ran down your spine.

Slowly you began to turn around, seeing him standing there in front of you. He was still wearing his team outfit, his hair damp and his face somewhat exhausted.

He looked so gorgeous.

"Hello, Mason" you greeted simply. You waited for a response but he didn't say anything else, he just stood static as he had a few moments ago.

"I have to go, it was nice to see you again" you forced yourself to smile a little, masking the ache in your chest.

All this time you thought you were over him but deep in your heart you knew, you could never forget Mason. Every day that passed you tried to move on, but leaving him that night hadn't been easy. And seeing him again wasn't either.

You turned away from your spot again, starting to walk slowly away from Mason. You were surprised to hear nothing more from him.

Why wasn't he saying anything? Wasn't he going to stop you? Had he given up on love?

Had he given up on you? Your heart shattered.

Maybe Mason had forgotten you, maybe he had found that person. He didn't love you anymore. Maybe he never had.

You had come back just for him.

You wanted to stop lying to yourself and your friends or family. You had come back to London just for Mason.

You wanted him back. But you lost him.

You were tired of running away from him and you wanted to tell him everything... but it was too late. Mason had forgotten you.

He had moved on.

You quickly turned to see him and your eyes filled with tears as you saw his back receding down the hallway.

Now it was he who was running away from you.

"Mason!" you screamed at the top of your lungs.

Please stop. You wanted to scream for him.

A tear spilled down your cheek when he wouldn't stop.

"Stop, Mason!" you begged again. "Please"

And when you least expected it, he stopped.

Your steps were giant as you walked toward him, charged in courage and bravery.

You weren't going to run away again. Head held high and heart pounding, you weren't going to let him go.

You reached Mason in a matter of seconds, who still had his back turned but as you sensed behind him, he gently spun around. His face was uneasy, his gaze dull, a sad grimace in his expression

"You won't say anything?" you asked.

Mason lifted his shoulders dejectedly.

"All right, I'll do the talking."

You didn't mind standing in the middle of the hallway cause you had so much to say. You wouldn't stand another minute with so much on your chest.

"I'm sorry" you started. "I never wanted to leave, Mason. But I had to" you said sure. "I couldn't stay when I didn't know what I felt or wanted but I know I hurt you and maybe you hate me and that's okay."

You sighed to find more courage than you already had.

"I should have called or even said something but I didn't know if what you had said that night was true, we were drunk and you had always played with me, I was scared..."

You loved Mason. You love Mason. More then anyone.

You had realized that since you had run away from him that day. While you were taking the flight, when you met your new friends, when you went to your new college, even when you were with other men. You had always loved him.

"I love you, Mason" you confessed to his bright gaze. "I know it's late, but i don't want to leave without telling you."

The words had come like a song from your mouth and now you felt the emptiness in your chest. But the pain was still there.

Mason hadn't said a word other than to look at you with his lost gaze and droopy eyes.

It's okay. You thought holding back tears, you didn't want a show in the middle of the halls of state.

You deserve it. You thought again.

Determined, you turned to, this time, leave the place for good.

But you couldn't.

The gentle touch of his warm hand stopped you by the forearm and memories took you back to that night.

That night that had changed everything.

You even went ahead of him and desperately your lips impacted with his, joining us in a perfect kiss. His lips felt just as you had imagined a million times when you were far away.

Soft, warm and delicious like the first time you had kissed them.

His large hands settled on your waist pulling you as close to his body as possible while yours embraced his muscular back, squeezing it as you felt the comfort of being in his arms again.

The rhythm of the kiss had gained intensity as the minutes passed, your lips seeking no rest as they needed each other more and more after so long. It was as if their bodies had become glued together from the electricity that coursed through them in their reconciliation kiss.

"Say that again" you asked as he did that night. "Say you can't let me go, Mason and i won't leave" you begged in a whisper remembering his words.

"I can't let you go, Y/n" he said against your lips. His forehead resting against yours as his nose nuzzled yours.

Because you didn't plan on leaving again. You knew the moment you saw Mason Mount again, you couldn't leave him.

And you were sure that this time, you would stay by his side.

PD: 2:30 in the morning and here i am writing for you. I hope you enjoy it, thanks for your support!!!!!

More imagines are coming soon, stay tuned <3