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artificialqueens · 4 years

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Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor, 9 (Branjie) (and background everyone) - Ortega

a/n: right. i have no words. u all deserve this chapter after last week’s anguish….so as we say in my homeland…here wi…here wi…here wi fuckin go xo

fic summary: Strictly Come Dancing enters its 18th series and its producers, after being goaded by a rival dance show on its inclusivity, commission it to be an all-female cast. Unlike Akeria who’s just here to bone her potential dance partner, dancer Vanessa is ready to act like a professional.

And then TV presenter Brooke Lynn walks into the rehearsal room.

***

8th November 2020

The rain has got worse.

It’s evolved from drizzle into a full-scale downpour, but Vanessa supposes it’s covering up the tears that are streaming down her face as she walks down the streets with only the orange of the streetlamps lighting her way in the dark. Her jumper is still in the rehearsal studios and she’s soaked to the skin, her hair plastered against her scalp and feeling much the same as if she’d just jumped in the shower.

She is so confused and hurt. Brooke has been so kind to her, she’s been supportive and caring and brought her flowers, for fuck’s sake, flowers that Vanessa’s still holding in her grasp but perhaps she should let go because let’s face it, she’s got to let go. Vanessa was so so sure she hadn’t misread the signals but…maybe she was wrong about the whole thing, maybe she was wrong about Brooke’s feelings.

She feels so embarrassed.

She gets to the end of the road and sighs. Her phone is in the pocket of her sweatpants and when she brings it out it’s immediately covered in raindrops. It takes her three attempts to unlock it in the rain and before she knows it she’s scrolling to Monique’s contact and ringing her. She’s lucky that Monique lives close by, and before she picks up the phone Vanessa has already made the decision to start walking in the direction of her flat.

“Hello hello?”

Vanessa takes a shaky breath in because she’s got absolutely no idea what her voice will sound like when she speaks. “Mo, I need to come round. I wouldn’t ask and I know it’s late an’ you’re probably exhausted but I…I really need a friend right now.”

There isn’t even a single pause between what Vanessa says and Monique’s response. Her voice replies instantly, comforting and reassuring and urgent all at once. “Come straight round. You want wine or tea?”

“I don’t even know. Tea maybe,” Vanessa shrugs, supposing that a hangover would be the last thing she needs tomorrow considering she’ll also have to face Brooke again.

“Gotcha. See you in five, boo.”

Even the small chat she’s had with Monique has made her tears dissipate slightly. It helps Vanessa feel reassured as she quickly crosses the road, her feet landing in all different depths of rapidly-forming puddles. By the time she’s outside Monique’s stairwell and pressing its buzzer, she feels like a submerged sponge.

“Come right up.”

Vanessa takes the stairs two at a time and when she gets to Monique’s door her friend is already holding it open. Maybe it’s because she’s seeing a friendly, kind face or maybe it’s because she can finally let out her emotions in peace but when she gets to Monique she falls into her arms for a hug and starts to cry all over again. Monique holds her steadily, not even making any comment about the fact the pink flannel pyjamas she’s wearing are getting drenched by proxy from Vanessa’s half-drowned frame. After a few moments spent this way, Vanessa feels Monique step away and motion her into the flat.

“C’mon, girl.”

Vanessa follows Monique into her bedroom. She’s been here before, probably hundreds of times, but the fairy lights and soft, patterned cotton bed sheets and heavy, dark curtains are comforting to Vanessa, helping her feel relaxed. She’s standing in the middle of the room as Monique looks at her with a single raised eyebrow of confusion, taking in her drenched clothes and mascara train tracks that adorn her cheeks and the bouquet of flowers that she’s still holding in her right hand. Vanessa can almost see the cogs in Monique’s brain turning.

“Alright,” she begins slowly. “Plan of action…I’m gonna make us tea. While I’m doin’ that, you’re gonna take a shower an’ borrow a set of my pyjamas. Make sure you choose comfy ones, Lord knows you need ‘em. Uh, I’ll take these too, I guess? Put ‘em in water.”

Monique points at the flowers and Vanessa wordlessly gives them to her. Monique examines them with an appreciative gaze.

“Huh. Heliotrope an’…somethin’ else, I don’t know that one.”

Vanessa scrunches her face up. Monique’s just given her the first laugh she’s had in the past half hour. “Since when were you the queen of horticort…horitic…plant knowledge?”

Monique quirks her a smile. “Hey, if you get given enough bouquets after dance competitions you start to recognise a flower or two.”

Vanessa shrugs in agreement and, as Monique leaves the room, she does what she’s told. She jumps into Monique’s en suite, strips down and takes a hot shower. On top of being wet outside it had also been freezing, so the warm water and all the steam feel like a big hug both physically and mentally. Vanessa grabs one of the clean fluffy towels that sit on the small bamboo shelves Monique’s put up and wraps it around herself as she pads back through to the bedroom. She’s been friends with Monique for so long that she knows which of the old battered wooden antique drawers holds which item of clothing (top drawer underwear and socks, second drawer down is tops, third drawer down is bottoms and bottom drawer is pyjamas) so she grabs a soft cotton pair of pyjamas that’s comprised of an oversized t shirt and some long, baggy pyjama pants. She tucks herself up into a little ball on the bed and the moment she’s finally comfy Monique returns with two steaming mugs of tea and a packet of biscuits tucked into the crook of her elbow and pinned to her side.

“You turned up on my doorstep at the right time, girl, I got the good shit earlier on today,” Monique smiles as she hands Vanessa her mug and gets herself comfortable under the duvet next to her, pointing at the biscuits which seem to be more chocolate than biscuit. Monique offers them to Vanessa, and she declines before Monique shrugs and rips into the packet herself. As she bites into one, she gives Vanessa a questioning and concerned gaze. “You wanna talk about it?”

Vanessa hums as she thinks, winces a little as the memory of what has happened barges into her mind again. She is momentarily distracted by the wet tendrils of hair dripping through her pyjama top, the towel-drying only doing so much. She turns to Monique and pouts. “Can you braid my hair an’ I can vent?”

“Sure, doll.”

So Vanessa vents. Tells her everything, the whole situation. Monique listens and by the time Vanessa is done her hair is in two perfect braids.

“So you’re tellin’ me-” Monique begins, once Vanessa is finished talking. “- that you were a cryin’ mess when you went for the kiss?”

Vanessa scrunches up her face in a frown. “I guess so?”

“Well, bitch!” Monique shoves her and lets out a huge exasperated sigh. “Why else you think she pushed you away? Would you wanna smooch with someone cryin’ their damn eyes out?”

Vanessa pauses as she considers Monique’s words. She might have a point, but then again she didn’t see the look Brooke had given her. In Vanessa’s mind, the only possible explanation is that Brooke is disgusted with her, she’d read all the signals wrong, and that she’s probably phoned up a producer already and quit the show.

Okay, maybe she’s being a little dramatic.

Vanessa doesn’t answer Monique’s question. Instead she reaches for the phone she’s discarded on Monique’s bedside table, looks at her notifications.

2 missed calls: Brooke Lynn

B: Vanessa I’m so sorry

B: If you want to just forget it all happened that’s okay, just please don’t be embarrassed xxx

Vanessa reads the text over again. The wording of the second one is weird and it messes with her head. The fact that the ball’s in her court, the fact Brooke is telling her not to be embarrassed, the kisses…

No. Don’t get your hopes up, bitch.

“She text you?”

Vanessa sighs, feels her whole body deflate like a balloon. She nods, wordlessly passes Monique the phone. She watches her eyes dart over it quickly, Monique’s face smirking as she hands her the phone back.

“Oh my God, Vanjie. She’s panicking just as much as you are.”

“Panicking ‘cuz she’s partnered with some crazy bitch tryna pull moves on her when she’s a professional just there to take part in a competition,” Vanessa huffs. She feels herself pout a little as she looks down at her phone. “I really liked her, Mo.”

“Will you stop usin’ past tense? It’s not over! You gotta go in there tomorrow morning, hold your head high, be a professional an’ act like nothing’s happened.”

Vanessa suddenly has a thought. “Oh my God.”

“What?”

“I choreographed a fuckin’ Argentine Tango.”

Monique lets out a howl of a laugh as Vanessa puts her head in her hands and sinks down against the pillows. If Brooke thought their Salsa was hot Vanessa doesn’t even know how she’s going to react when she reveals the dance they’re doing tomorrow.

And tomorrow rolls around quickly. Vanessa drags herself into the studios, borrows rehearsal clothes from Monique which are ever-so-slightly too small for her but are preferable to wearing the crumpled outfit she’d been wearing in the rain yesterday. Monique flanks her as she walks with her from her flat, keeping her distracted with mindless chatter and silly jokes which Vanessa pretends to laugh at. Monique doesn’t seem to mind the fake laughter though, and when they arrive at the studios she gives Vanessa a tight hug and tells her to text her to tell her how things go.

Vanessa waits. She paces the rehearsal room and thanks God that they don’t have their filming slot first that day. She barely slept the night before, her mind racing as she tried to figure out how to play the situation, and she’s concluded that if Brooke is giving her the option to pretend that Sunday never happened she’s going to take her up on that. Though she feels her already flimsy resolve breaking down as she finally sees Brooke enter the room, her face pale and her eyes puffy indicating a similar lack of sleep. Her hair hasn’t been brushed and her ponytail is what can only be described as bumpy, stray hairs sticking up from her scalp at all angles. She’s wearing a huge baggy hoodie with her exercise leggings and it’s swallowing her up, though from her expression it seems as if Brooke doesn’t mind.

For a moment there’s a sort of standoff. Vanessa waits for Brooke to speak first and it seems as if Brooke is doing the same for her. It’s Vanessa that finally speaks first, her guilt overtaking her.

“Morning,” she says simply. It’s only then that she registers the fact that Brooke is carrying a plastic bag.

“Hey. You, uh. You left your jumper and your speakers, so I brought them in today.”

“Thanks.”

Vanessa scuffs her shoe against the floor, casts her eyes to the ground. Brooke seemingly takes this as her cue to speak.

“Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?”

Vanessa cringes. She hopes she doesn’t do so visibly. She casts her eyes back up to Brooke, makes sure she’s got eye contact when she delivers her words. “Why, what happened yesterday?”

Brooke frowns, opens her mouth as if to remind her then snaps it closed again as she clearly realises what Vanessa wants to do. She gives a small smile which doesn’t meet her eyes. “Nothing.”

“Okay,” Vanessa nods curtly. She takes a deep breath, because Brooke is still her dance partner and they’re still competing and they’re still going to be on TV in six days’ time, so she pulls her shoulders back and fixes her with the best smile she can manage. “Let’s warm up. Then I’ll tell you what we’re doin’ this week.”

The kiss doesn’t get brought up again. That’s good. Vanessa’s glad. There’s nothing to say, so instead of talking they rehearse. They rehearse and rehearse and rehearse and they barely talk apart from that. Vanessa saves her communication for her choreography, in touches and Ochos and the way her body moves in Brooke’s hold. Vanessa’s still marking the majority of the dance, careful not to push herself too far, but she makes sure to put extra effort in when she’s teaching Brooke the Ganchos and they hook their legs together. Vanessa is sure Brooke gets extra quiet during those sections, and her eyes go all dark and heavy. She wants to believe Brooke likes her, wants to believe maybe she did want to reciprocate their kiss on Sunday, but the last time she got her hopes up that high Brooke had pulled away so she’s wary of doing so again. Still, though, the Argentine suits Brooke. The way she takes control and leads, the power in everything she does. Vanessa’s head is already a concrete mixer of emotions and horny is one she really doesn’t want to have to add to the list, but when Brooke puts one arm around her waist, lifts her up and drags her across the rehearsal room floor while Vanessa’s thigh is hooked over her hip it’s hard not to have some sort of visceral reaction.

The tension builds over days. They’ve been entirely professional all week, not even exchanged so much as a text and it’s eating Vanessa up inside. So when it gets to late evening on Wednesday and it’s dark outside and Vanessa has peeled off her jumper and sweats and is wearing a pair of little cycling shorts and a sports bra to rehearse in, she honestly doesn’t know how it’s going to go when she suggests a full run of the dance.

“If we get it so that we’re nailing it by tonight then we got Thursday, Friday an’ Saturday morning to polish it,” Vanessa explains to Brooke as she walks over to her phone and makes to re-start the music.

“Sure. Sounds good,” Brooke nods easily. She adjusts the table and chair that they start off their dance with, makes sure the napkin is in place. Vanessa swallows her anxieties and presses play, dashing over to the chair and sitting down in it.

“Full energy, okay?” she reminds Brooke, although she’s not sure she needs a reminder given that Brooke’s been putting her all into even tiny counts of eight.

The music starts and on the first beat Vanessa stretches out, places her hand against the table. Right on cue, Brooke has grabbed her forearm. Vanessa whips her head around to face her and Brooke draws their faces close with the palm of her hand flat against Vanessa’s cheek. Their eyes connect and for a second, Vanessa thinks she can see what looks like longing in the dark of Brooke’s pupils.

It’s just the dance. She has to be imagining it.

As quickly as she’s there Brooke is suddenly gone, spinning around and slamming her hand against the napkin in time with Vanessa. They raise it up so it’s level between them and Vanessa uses it to twirl in close to Brooke, their bodies instantly pressed together. Brooke’s got both hands on the napkin now and she’s using it to keep Vanessa close to her as she leans back then spins between Brooke’s left and right side. As Brooke lets go of the prop with one hand and Vanessa twirls across to the other side of the ballroom, she watches her scrunch the napkin up and slam it to the floor. The action makes her catch her breath. Brooke’s a good actress, and they’ve done this section hundreds of times, but the passion and frustration with which she’s doing it this time almost knocks Vanessa off balance.

Is she…? No.

They reach the section where they’re in hold but showing off the footwork. Vanessa doesn’t do it all, only makes sure she’s connecting legs with Brooke for the Ganchos, but it’s probably for the best as the eye contact they’re giving each other and the close proximity between their faces is almost burning. Part of Vanessa wants to look away it’s so intense, but they’re running the full dance and she did tell Brooke to give full energy so she has to hold up her end of that. They’re perfectly in sync the entire time, Brooke having memorised the choreography so well. Brooke lifts her to drag her across the floor and if Vanessa deliberately hooks her leg a little higher on Brooke’s waist then it’s simply a happy coincidence.

The next section flows well (Brooke makes a few little mistakes she’ll pull her up on) and when Brooke lifts Vanessa to spin her round her cheek is pressed against her chest and it sends a shockwave down Vanessa’s spine. Their faces are close again as they walk across the rehearsal room floor, Vanessa dipping down facing away from Brooke to extend her leg between Brooke’s open ones. Her arms lock around Brooke’s thighs for support and Brooke grips onto them as she helps her up, the power and force she uses when she spins Vanessa round and presses their foreheads together sending Vanessa up in flames. They’ve danced through these individual sections so many times but put together it’s almost too much. There’s an atmosphere in the air and Vanessa realises it’s the exact same as when they’d rehearsed the Salsa. They cross the floor once more and it reaches the point where Vanessa jumps up to straddle Brooke’s waist with both her legs. Brooke spins her round and Vanessa brings her arms up to cradle the back of her neck. As Brooke slows her spin she reaches the part where she’s meant to dip Vanessa, lower her to the ground, but she’s stopped dancing, electing instead to keep her eye contact steady and burning with Vanessa’s. Vanessa knows she should maybe lower one of her legs, or perhaps both of them, but she’s still got them both wrapped around Brooke’s waist and the fact Brooke’s still holding her without even so much as a tremble is too much. Brooke leans in, presses her forehead against Vanessa’s, and Vanessa can only hold her breath as Brooke squeezes her eyes shut. They’ve never been physically closer to each other and Vanessa knows she should do something, knows she should move the dance along, but her heart is begging Brooke to say something, to do something. She’d do it herself but making the first move didn’t seem to work out for her so great last time.

“Tell me that Sunday happened,” Brooke murmurs, and Vanessa’s heart stops. “Tell me you kissed me.”

Vanessa flushes red. Momentarily, she wonders if this is something Brooke’s doing to build chemistry between them during the dance. If it is then she’s quitting the entire show. Vanessa closes her own eyes, almost embarrassed to admit it. When she opens them, Brooke’s opened hers too and fuck, her eye contact is searing.

“I did,” she confirms. Then, because she’s petty and can’t let her off the hook easily, she raises her eyebrows. “But you never kissed back, remember?”

Vanessa sees the regret flash in Brooke’s eyes for only a second and then the sparkle is back. “No, that doesn’t sound like me. I don’t think that happened. Maybe I’m remembering it wrong though, maybe you need to remind me.”

Vanessa feels as if her synapses are melting. She’s basically being invited to kiss Brooke again, she’s confirming to her that it wasn’t a mistake, she wants it to happen again, that her pulling away the first time was…down to something else? She’s still not going to give Brooke what she wants that easily, though, so she cocks an eyebrow, tilts her head thoughtfully as she pulls back a little. “I’m sure you can remind yourself.”

Brooke doesn’t look deterred by this. She shrugs, fixes Vanessa with a soft smirk. “Okay.”

When Brooke gently leans in and meets Vanessa’s lips with hers, Vanessa is sure she sees fireworks going off in the dark of her closed eyes. She feels them too, they’re happening in every cell of her body because Brooke is voluntarily kissing her and she doesn’t know what this means but she’s going to take a wild guess and say that maybe, just maybe, Brooke likes her back after all. Brooke kisses like she dances- passionate, careful, fucking perfect. As Vanessa kisses back she’s trying not to speed things along, trying to make the moment last as long as she can, but it’s hard not to be eager and urgent and to kiss Brooke with a hunger she hadn’t known she was in possession of until now. She’s brought her hands around from the back of Brooke’s neck- one tangled in her hair, the other softly cupping her cheek- and she tries to channel all her gentleness into them, stroking her skin with her thumb gently as if Brooke is breakable and fragile like the moment they’re sharing.

It’s Vanessa who pulls away first (if only so she doesn’t give Brooke the upper hand of being the first one to pull away twice) and, as she’s depositing herself back on the floor to stand up, she can’t help but break out into a smile because Brooke is blushing and beaming at her and her arms are still wrapped around her waist.

Vanessa doesn’t really know what to say. That…happened. She’s confused, though. Just over twenty-four hours ago Brooke had been pulling away, not pulling her in. Vanessa thinks it’s almost too good to be true.

“Can we talk about all this?” Vanessa says before her brain has a chance to weigh up if it’s a good idea or not. Brooke’s smile falters and Vanessa feels guilty. “Not in a bad way, I just…like, my head is mush.”

“No, no, I get it. Of course we can,” Brooke nods, slides her arms away from Vanessa’s waist. “Here? Or in the canteen? We could go back to mine but it’s a bit far away.”

Vanessa pulls on her oversized jumper and then the green parka she’d wrapped herself up in to protect from the November cold. “I know a place.”

Vanessa drags the pair of them onto the tube and they travel to the Thames embankment, where they stop off at a nearby chippy to grab a styrofoam carton of chips each. The atmosphere between them has shifted- gone are the frosty silences and short conversations. Instead the two of them talk easily, bicker and laugh and flirt about nothing in particular. Vanessa knows they’ll talk things through once they’re comfortable so she settles on rolling her eyes at Brooke making fish puns in the middle of the chip shop (“when you said you knew a place I didn’t think you meant an ACTUAL plaice”). It’s quiet on the embankment, locals all home from work and tourists preferring the pull of the Houses of Parliament or the Eye across the river, so they don’t pass many people and they ones they do pass don’t seem to recognise them. Everything is calm and relaxed and easy, like the inky sky and the clean cold of the air and the smooth surface of the river that’s opposite them as they find a bench with only a few small puddles of water on it and settle down. Vanessa’s heart is thumping hard in her chest as Brooke sits down beside her, sitting diagonally so she can see her as they discuss things. It’s a small thing that Vanessa notices and appreciates.

“So,” Brooke says around a particularly hot chip, her mouth making an ‘o’ and steam flying out of it. “You wanted to talk.”

“Uh, yeah. ‘Cept now we’re here I don’t really know what to say.”

“Do you want me to start?”

Vanessa shrugs, bites into a chip delicately. “If you wanna.”

“Okay, well,” Brooke begins, then looks out to the river. The lights of the Eye are reflected in her own, blues and reds meeting greens and creating a kaleidoscope from which Vanessa never wants to look away. She pauses and takes a deep breath before meeting Vanessa’s eyes. “I’m really sorry for hurting your feelings on Sunday. If you’d kissed me in literally any other context, I wouldn’t have reacted like that. Honestly. I just…didn’t want to take advantage of you.”

Vanessa gives a laugh. She’s confused. “Take advantage?”

“No, I don’t mean like that, I mean…” Brooke frowns as she’s searching for the right words. It’s kind of adorable. “You were upset, you’d had a shit week. The music was all sad and you were crying and then you kissed me and I…didn’t want you to be doing that just because you felt upset. I didn’t want you to do that and then think you’d made a mistake.”

Vanessa pauses. She hasn’t considered that Brooke might have thought Vanessa would regret kissing her. To her the idea is so ridiculous that it almost makes her want to laugh but she doesn’t, because this means that Brooke was overthinking their kiss and trying to talk herself out of the idea of Vanessa possibly liking her back.

Now don’t that sound familiar.

Vanessa tries to stifle a smile as she tilts her head to look at Brooke. “It wasn’t a mistake, baby, I meant the whole damn thing.”

She wants to squeal when Brooke’s face breaks out into an enormous grin, one that Vanessa is sure must hurt her face. Vanessa likes the fact that Brooke is talking, likes the fact she’s saying everything first because it means she gets to hold her guard up just that little bit longer before this girl tears it down and even though she’s ready for that, it doesn’t mean she isn’t ever so slightly scared of it.

“So, uh…” Vanessa asks her, her tone light and teasing. Brooke crosses her legs and Vanessa has to try to stop herself getting any ideas. “That cast member you got a crush on. You gonna tell me who it is now?”

Brooke bursts out laughing, tipping her head back and lacing her hand with Vanessa’s at the same time. “Shut up. Are you really going to make me say it?”

Vanessa simply raises her eyebrows at Brooke, lets her know she’s waiting on her answer. Brooke gives another laugh as she gives in. “Fine! Well…she’s one of the dancers.”

“Uh huh.”

“I saw her on the induction day and I thought she was hot. We had a bit of a flirt and it was all fun and games. Then I followed her on Instagram because I was thirsty. Thought for ages about how to slide into her DMs but I was too much of a scaredy cat so I just commented on one of her pics instead,” Brooke continues to explain. Her admission makes Vanessa giggle, sends her heart leaping into the air because oh my God, Brooke had wanted to talk to her before the series even started too. She was thinking about Vanessa for the same amount of time Vanessa had been thinking about her. “Then it got to the intro show and I was like…screaming inside. I knew I wanted to be partnered with her, I knew even before the induction day because she’s so, so good at what she does. In fact, she needs to believe in herself more, but that’s besides the point. Anyway, we got paired up. I was so fucking ecstatic that night. She drunk-texted me and I actually lay in bed squealing and flailing like a teenage girl because I got so excited that she was thinking of me.”

Brooke is so animated when she’s talking about her crush. Her. She’s talking about her, and Vanessa is so happy and emotional she almost wants to cry but that would be peak pathetic so she squeezes Brooke’s hand instead, the hand that’s still entwined with hers.

“I keep growing closer to her and finding out more about her and she trusts me with stories about her life, trusts me to fling her body around the rehearsal studios despite the fact I’m so fucking clumsy I could drop something that’s superglued to my hand-“

“Stop lyin’, shut up,” Vanessa rolls her eyes at Brooke’s self-deprecation, and Brooke gives a gentle snort of a laugh.

“- And I just keep liking her more and more with every day,” Brooke smiles at her, her face all dreamy and dazed as if she’s sleepwalking. It suddenly snaps into a smirk, her eyes dark and playful, and it’s Vanessa’s turn to cross her legs. “And she doesn’t help any of it by looking like a Gymshark model and sticking her cute little butt out any time we rehearse.”

Vanessa screeches out an outraged laugh which Brooke’s quick to join in with. “Hey, I had to get your attention somehow!”

As their laughter dies down Vanessa fixes Brooke with a smile, scoots closer to her on the bench. “So go on, then. What’s her name?”

Brooke pulls Vanessa close with the hand she’s holding and when she says Vanessa’s name in response she feels worshipped. Suddenly, Brooke’s eyes fly open a little in what seems like panic. “Sorry. Fuck. That was all too much, wasn’t it?”

“Brooke Lynn,” Vanessa laughs. “I’ve had the most huge, embarrassin’ fuckin’ crush on you since God knows when. I really like you. Chill.”

Brooke’s still got a soft little smile on her face and it makes Vanessa wants to kiss her again so much so she pushes the images of long lens cameras out of her mind for the moment and leans in, kisses Brooke soft and gentle and slow and Vanessa doesn’t think she’ll ever get bored of the way Brooke kisses her back.

When Vanessa pulls away she’s right beside Brooke on the bench, so she slings an arm around her waist and rests her head against her chest for good measure. It’s still cold outside but Vanessa hopes that isn’t the only reason for Brooke cuddling her back, linking their hands together like a little chain. Vanessa’s happy, but her mind is still full of thoughts.

“How good are you at keeping secrets?”

“Depends what it is,” Brooke replies. Vanessa tilts her head up before she speaks again because this is important, she needs to see Brooke’s reaction and make sure she says this in the right way.

“I can’t do the whole…paparazzi, me-in-the-papers, invasion-of-privacy thing again. It was bad enough when me an’ Kam broke up,” she begins, and Brooke nods understandingly. “So I guess what I’m askin’ is…can we be careful? Whatever ‘we’ is. I don’t know yet but I don’t mind just figuring things out along the way.”

Brooke nods slowly, taking things in. “So you want to keep us secret for now?”

“Just until the show ends,” Vanessa reassures her, tries to ignore the triple somersault her heart does at the word ‘us’. “I don’t want people thinkin’ it’s a publicity stunt or tryin’ to take attention away from the other couples or anythin’ like that. Also I don’t want this getting ruined for us.”

Vanessa’s heart stands still as Brooke thinks for a second. She’s relieved when a grin spreads across her face. “Can I still flirt with you on Instagram? That’s fun.”

“Flirt with me anywhere you want, boo.”

“God, you know I’m so going to play into this? Think of all those fan accounts for us all those fourteen year olds run. They’re going to implode,” Brooke smiles, bouncing in her seat on the bench excitedly. It’s so endearing it makes Vanessa smile more than she already is. Her heart is still fluttering nervously; there’s butterflies trapped in there and as long as Brooke is holding her hand and smiling at her like that with her eyes all soft Vanessa is not really sure if they’ll ever go away. She doesn’t care, though.

They stay on the bench for a while until their chips are finished. Brooke takes a photo of Vanessa who smiles brightly at the camera, carton of chips in her lap and her hair all messy over her shoulders but she doesn’t even care because she’s happy, so happy and relieved and when they walk back to the station together it feels like she’s walking on little clouds. They don’t kiss goodbye because it’s busier in the station but Brooke does sneak a peck against her neck when they hug and it makes Vanessa feel gooey inside. When Vanessa gets home that night she has both an Instagram tag and two messages from Brooke. She opens the message first.

B: I’m so glad we talked, I had the best time tonight. Can’t wait until I can take you on a proper date!! See you tomorrow cutie xxxxxx

B: (Sorry if cutie is ick I’m just going to try out a bunch of pet names because I can xxxxxx)

Vanessa feels her heart almost burst open at everything Brooke’s said to her. The confirmation that she enjoyed her company, the promise of a date, the pet name (which she definitely won’t say no to). It’s all like a big hug for her mind which had previously been exhausted with overthinking. Vanessa doesn’t realise how much she’s smiling at her screen as she types out her reply until it physically hurts her face.

V: me too. you’re so amazing. for ref i like Zoilo if we going bougie or Franco Manca if we broke. cutie gets seal of approval from me… u a bit of a cutie urself xxxxxx

Before she gets ready for bed that night she decides to open up Instagram to see what Brooke has tagged her in. It’s the photo of her on the bench from earlier, and Vanessa wants to blush at how happy and smiley she looks. She scrolls to Brooke’s caption, and if she wasn’t blushing before she’s definitely blushing now.

bhytes: Post-rehearsal chips by the river with this diamond. I could get used to this. 🧡

Their fans are in meltdown in the comments, and Vanessa is melting herself.

Saturday comes quicker than Vanessa wants it to. It’s maybe because she never wants her time with Brooke to end whether that’s on or off the show. They’ve done full runs of their dance each day, the pair of them sneaking kisses with each other sometimes even mid-dance.

“You know we need to stop doin’ that, right?” Vanessa warns Brooke with a smile after Brooke kisses all down her neck mid-Tango in a bid to wind her up (she’d succeeded, and if Vanessa might need to take a cold shower later that’s nobody’s business but her own.)

“Why?”

“Because we’re gonna end up doin’ it on the night an’ then the cat’s outta the bag after what, three days?”

Vanessa doesn’t miss the way Brooke runs her tongue over her lips a little. She’s got a smirk on her face as she pulls her in close, slides her hands down her sides and hooks her fingers over the waistband of her leggings. “Well if you are going to keep wearing things that make your butt look so good, I am going to find it hard to stop kissing you.”

Brooke snaps the elastic of her waistband and Vanessa feels a fire ignite low in her stomach. She’s not told Brooke that she was the girl from her sex dream, she’s been saving that information for another day. She wonders when that day’s going to come, though. If Vanessa had her way she would lock the rehearsal room door, throw herself at Brooke and practically beg the girl to raw her, but she doesn’t know what Brooke’s thinking or feeling and Vanessa doesn’t want to risk ruining the high levels of sexual tension they’ve cultivated over roughly a month by asking her when they’re only 24 hours away from performing another incredibly sexy dance. By Saturday night the pair of them are ready to perform and their biggest challenge, Vanessa thinks, will be to try and act as if they’ve not started seeing each other and are in the complete honeymoon phase of whatever it is they are.

And soon enough Vanessa is sitting on a chair in the middle of the ballroom floor dressed in a long sparkling nude-effect dress with a split up its side, facing away from Brooke who’s in black tailored suit trousers and a white shirt with rolled-up sleeves buttoned up to the neck and an undone bow tie around it. The audience are silent as their VT plays, and then the familiar voice of the commentator is booming overhead.

“Dancing the Argentine Tango…Brooke Lynn Hytes and Vanessa Mateo!”

There’s four clicks of drumsticks smacking together before the music starts and the pair of them hit the first beats of the dance. There’s even more electricity between them now and when Brooke grabs her arm, reels her in with the napkin, pulls her close so their bodies are pressed against each other, Vanessa feels as if she’s burning up inside. They added in a little bit of choreo after their kiss and their riverbank date on Wednesday night, and Vanessa’s back is to the audience and the cameras as she gives Brooke a wink, hooks her fingers around each side of the lapels on Brooke’s shirt.

“I’m tellin’ you to loosen up my buttons, babe, uh-huh-”

Vanessa rips the velcro she knows the costume designers have concealed in the lapels and reveals a little strip of Brooke’s chest, her collarbones exposed. The roar that goes up from the audience in response has Vanessa feeling as if they’re dancing in a football stadium rather than the ballroom at Elstree. The shirt isn’t even open enough to expose any of Brooke’s cleavage but Vanessa suddenly realises how people in old-timey costume dramas feel when they see a woman’s ankle. As they press their foreheads together and cross the ballroom floor Vanessa finds it hard not to break character and smile like an idiot at Brooke Lynn, the girl that likes her back, the girl that maybe one day she’ll get to call her girlfriend, the girl that she can kiss any time she likes. She could technically kiss her now as she drops to the floor and Brooke comes with her, still holding her hand with her arm around her waist, but she focuses on getting the Ganchos right because they need a good score. Vanessa needs to show Brooke, show the judges, show every fucking person watching at home that she is a force to be reckoned with, that she can teach and choreograph and make Brooke progress.

Still, it’s hard not to just reach her lips forward and press them against Brooke’s as she drags her across the floor, Vanessa making sure to get her leg as high as it’ll go on her waist just to show Brooke what she’s capable of. As Brooke lifts her up and spins her, Vanessa sneaks a look at the judges’ table. Bianca is watching impassively as usual, Shangela is smiling from ear to ear, Kennedy is screaming and Laganja is leaning almost over the desk, her mouth wide open.

If ever there was a desired reaction to her choreography, it’s probably that.

There’s a point in the middle of the dance where the two of them pause in hold and just give each other an incredibly lingering look. Vanessa doesn’t have to act for this section and as she slowly brings her eyes up from Brooke’s chest to meet her gaze, she feels her knees turn ever-so-slightly weak as she catches the hunger, passion and fire in the other girl’s eyes.

If they don’t get at least 35 in this, Vanessa is going to quit the show and take Brooke with her.

Vanessa can hear the screams from one of the judges as she and Brooke walk slowly across the dancefloor with their hands cradling the back of each others’ necks. Brooke gracefully lowers her to the floor and pulls her up again, Vanessa making sure to press their bodies tight together once she’s in front of her. She catches the way Brooke’s eyes grow ever so slightly wide and she’d be lying if she said it didn’t fill her with a sense of pride. They get to the part that makes Vanessa’s pulse speed up every time- her legs wrapped around Brooke’s waist, Brooke spinning her around- because of all the memories attached to it. This time Brooke doesn’t kiss her, though- she dips her down one way then the other with her strong arms supporting Vanessa’s back.

Vanessa feels safer in Brooke’s arms than she’s ever felt with any six-packed, world-champion male partner. But of course, she knows exactly why that is.

The dance is coming to an end and Vanessa puts her all into walking Brooke back, her hand against her chest. Brooke sits down in the chair, spreads her legs before reaching out and letting Vanessa twirl into her arms, where she leans into her and wraps her arms around Brooke. She knows she’s got her chest pushed right up in Brooke’s face and all she’ll probably be able to smell is her perfume, but Vanessa doesn’t really mind and she’s got a feeling Brooke doesn’t either. As the final notes of the music ring through the studio, the audience are yelling and clapping the place down. Vanessa doesn’t even know if Brooke made any mistakes and at this point she doesn’t care because they did that dance proud, she knows they did, and as Brooke wraps her arms tight around her waist Vanessa feels her press a kiss to her collarbone that makes her giddy. Vanessa squeals with happiness and she feels Brooke pick her up in their hug and walk her over to where Michelle is standing. As they finally break apart she can see the smile on Brooke’s face. Vanessa throws caution to the wind a little, plants both her hands on either side of Brooke’s face so that her eyes are firmly locked on her own.

“We did it, baby,” she whispers to her, and she’s not even sure it’ll be audible over the cheers of the crowd but Brooke nods rapidly in happiness and Vanessa knows she’s been heard.

Michelle finally manages to pry Brooke off of her and get some form of reaction about how she feels the dance went.

“Oh my God, it felt amazing,” Brooke smiles. She’s laced her arm around Vanessa’s waist and Vanessa’s done the same, and Brooke gives her a little squeeze and a smile down at her as she continues. “We’ve obviously had a bit of a crazy week…you know, Vanessa coming back from her injury, but she’s just such a great person and such a great teacher that she still managed to recover and teach me all this, and I’m just so grateful for her. I’m so glad I’ve got her back. She’s not allowed to leave me again!”

Michelle laughs as Brooke puts her other arm around Vanessa to hug her, and Vanessa happily reciprocates.

“Vanessa, how do you think Brooke Lynn got on this week?”

Vanessa pries herself out from under Brooke’s arm and simply smiles up at her in response. “She knows how amazin’ I think she is, I’m gonna let the judges tell her instead.”

Michelle gives another laugh and so do some of the judges. Vanessa doesn’t miss the single raised eyebrow that Bianca shoots towards her. Her stomach dips. Maybe they hadn’t been as good as she’d thought…?

“Speaking of judges- Bianca, let’s come to you first. How did Brooke do?”

“Well…” there’s a silence as Bianca shuffles her notes a little. Vanessa feels her heart stand still. “I thought…that it was absolutely brilliant.”

The audience erupts. Vanessa is so shocked and happy that she can’t help the grin that breaks out on her face, and she and Brooke both instantly reach for each other to hug. There’s a rare smile to Bianca’s voice as she continues. “Brooke Lynn, there’s one thing that Vanessa can’t teach you, in fact nobody can teach it, and that’s chemistry. The chemistry you had with Plastique last week was great but the chemistry you have with Vanessa is incredible. The Argentine is all about that, it’s the passion and the fire, and you encapsulated that so well. Watch with the Ganchos that your feet are pointed all the way down, we should have a full 180 degrees there which I know you can do because I’ve seen it before- and it should be more of a light motion, you’re not churning butter…but other than that, a great job this week, well done.”

Vanessa looks up at Brooke and she’s still smiling as Michelle comes onto Shangela. She and Kennedy both give them glowing praise, the pair of them also mentioning the chemistry between them, and then it’s Laganja’s turn. The audience are already giggling in anticipation- they know she’s theatrical, and her reaction is going to be big. Vanessa watches as she sits composed in her chair, narrows her eyes, and points at them both with her pen.

“Is there…something going on…?” she asks. Vanessa feels her hand tighten around Brooke’s waist. She clenches her teeth together as she smiles. Fuck. Have they been too obvious? Laganja pauses dramatically as Brooke gives a laugh Vanessa can tell is fake. “I mean…first that American Smooth, and then that Viennese, and now THIS? Is there something in the air tonight, Fernando?!”

Vanessa lets out a relieved laugh as Laganja references Gigi and Crystal and Jan and Jackie’s dances, realises she’s not asking specifically about her and Brooke.

“LADIES, ma’am, I don’t have any earthly words for what I just witnessed!! The connection you two have is just incomparable…Brooke, you’ve been so great the past two weeks but I can tell you’re at your most comfortable and your happiest when you’re dancing with Vanessa, it’s like you’re here, you’ve arrived! This is elevated, mama! I don’t know if you could hear me screaming when you dragged Vanessa across the floor-”

“New Zealand heard that scream, Laganja,” Bianca cuts in deadpan, and the audience laughs.

“- yes thank you, Simon Cowell! Maybe your feet weren’t as pointed as they could’ve been during the Ganchos- you know what, I honestly don’t care! I wasn’t looking at your feet! I spent that entire dance wondering if you were going to smooch each others’ faces off midway through!”

Vanessa bursts out laughing as she feels Brooke do the same beside her. They’re both squeezing each others’ sides for dear life. If they only fucking knew.

“Great job, Brooke, and Vanessa- welcome back, ma, that’s how you return after an injury.”

The audience clap them as Michelle sends them upstairs, and Vanessa’s hand is tight in Brooke’s as they run up to the Divinatorium and are greeted by Divina herself. She interviews the pair of them but Vanessa can hardly speak, she’s practically vibrating with excitement beside her partner. Their comments were so encouraging, the best they’ve had. Brooke’s never had a 10 from any of the judges before. Maybe tonight is the night?

“Will the judges please reveal their scores. Bianca Del Rio.”

Vanessa’s screaming before Bianca can even speak, because there, on the paddle, is an, “Eight!”

Brooke’s arm flies around her waist in a hug but Vanessa can’t yet accept it, her eyes glued to the screen.

“Kennedy Davenport.”

“Nine!” she says happily, and Vanessa is so happy that she can almost feel tears stinging her eyes.

“Shangela Wadely.”

“Nine!” she beams at the camera, sticking her paddle into the air. Vanessa’s heart lifts itself up into the rafters as the camera pans to Laganja’s seat. She gave them the most favourable critiques. Maybe…?

“Laganja Estranja.”

“I hope y’all are ready for this…TEN!” she screeches as she stands up, and Vanessa can barely take in the amount of things that happen at once. Her pulse skyrockets, Brooke practically leaps on her in her haste to wrap her in a hug, the other couples are screaming and cheering and clapping for them, and her eyes basically spring a leak. She has no idea why she’s so emotional but Jesus Christ, she’s allowed to be after the past few weeks she’d had. Laganja thought their dance was a ten. A perfect ten. Flawless. Impeccable. They’re second on the leaderboard behind Jan and Jackie (who scored thirty-eight). Vanessa feels like running back down the stairs and kissing the judges, never mind Brooke Lynn beside her.

But of course, the thought of kissing Brooke is one that isn’t too far away, and they’re walking down the corridors, laughing and chatting after their reaction interview and about to go back to makeup when Brooke slows beside her dressing room door, laces her hands in Vanessa’s.

“Um…” she casts her eyes downwards, and when she meets Vanessa’s gaze again there’s a little glint in her eye that makes Vanessa squeeze her thighs together. Brooke puts on her very best, professional, TV presenter voice as she talks. “Vanessa. Would you mind helping me with something for two minutes in my dressing room?”

Vanessa almost feels her pupils blow as Brooke gently tugs her in. The moment she steps through the dressing room door Brooke wastes no time in closing it, spinning her round and pressing her up against it as she crashes their lips together. Vanessa has to stop herself from sliding down the door, feeling like a snowman in July as Brooke’s soft lips press against hers and her tongue licks gently into her mouth. If Brooke’s tongue can make her feel this weak when they’re just kissing, Vanessa almost doesn’t dare think about how good it could feel elsewhere.

Vanessa can give as good as she gets though, and she likes to have the upper hand so she drops her lips to Brooke’s neck, presses frantic kisses down down down to her collarbone where she sucks at the skin, bites ever so gently then licks over the mark she’s just created, kissing hard against it once, twice, three times before she feels Brooke lean down to murmur into her ear.

“That better not’ve left a mark.”

Vanessa’s spine feels like an electricity pylon. “Does it feel like it didn’t leave a mark?”

Her breath hitches as Brooke slams her knee in between her thighs, cages her in. Brooke’s voice is a low whisper as she kisses her neck, making Vanessa whine. “You’re so bad, fuck.”

“You like it when I’m bad, huh?” Vanessa teases, dropping both her hands to Brooke’s waist as she bucks her hips against her. The friction has got her feeling tightly wound and she needs more, way more than this.

“God, yes,” Brooke sighs, brings her mouth back up to kiss her again. It’s not as frantic as their first; this time it’s slow, teasing, and driving Vanessa absolutely insane. They’ve not talked about this, where this is going to go, and Vanessa doesn’t want to assume anything but still…Brooke’s got her in a pretty compromising position. She’s still going to check though, so she pulls back, murmurs against Brooke’s lips as she places both her hands on either side of her jaw.

“What do you want, baby?”

Brooke gives a sigh mixed up with a gasp as Vanessa trails a finger down her neck, stops it at her chest right where her shirt’s buttoned up. “Ah…want you to-”

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

Vanessa launches herself away from the door, almost jumps into Brooke’s arms Scooby-Doo style in shock. Brooke’s got her arms around Vanessa, her eyes equally wide and her mouth just as slack-jawed. She steps away quickly as whoever’s behind the door starts speaking.

“Brooke Lynn? You and Vanessa are needed in makeup.”

Vanessa can see Brooke swallowing thickly, the rise and fall of her chest as she tries to compose herself. The very sight of that alone makes Vanessa’s mouth dry. “Okay, no worries! We’ll be down soon!”

The pair of them stand in the dressing room in silence listening to the sound of the runner walking away. It’s funny- the pair of them sneaking around like they’re in high school or some shit, and it makes Vanessa press her lips together in an attempt to stifle a laugh. She looks at Brooke Lynn, who’s got much the same expression on her face. It’s Brooke that cracks first, and soon the pair of them are standing giggling together.

“Nothing like getting the absolute shit scared out of us to really kill the mood,” Brooke laughs softly, reaching out and tucking a piece of Vanessa’s hair behind her ear that has come loose from its bun. Vanessa smiles, sighing a little and taking her hand.

“We should go. It’ll be a batterin’ ram next.”

“Right,” Brooke shrugs a little, stroking the back of Vanessa’s hand with her thumb. Vanessa can see she’s holding something back and just as she’s about to ask her what it is, Brooke meets her eyes. “You think we’re going through to Blackpool?”

Vanessa has almost forgotten what week it is next week; where the dancers all travel up to the iconic Blackpool Tower ballroom for one night away from Elstree. They pull out all the stops that night and they’re allowed backup dancers and even sometimes a set instead of just props. She tilts her head in thought- the fact that by the end of tonight there’ll be just six of them left in the competition is wild to her, the whole thing is going so quickly. She can see in Brooke’s eyes that she’s not forgotten, though, the nerves almost visibly clouding her vision, so Vanessa leans up and presses a soft kiss to her lips and feels Brooke relax against her.

She pulls away and shoots Brooke a soft grin. “After that performance? You might as well start packing your case, baby.”

#rpdr fanfiction #ortega #bet you look good on the dancefloor #strictly au #lesbian au #branjie #vanessa vanjie mateo #brooke lynn hytes #monique heart #bianca del rio #laganja estranja

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incarnateirony · 5 years

Text

Writers lie. Death doesn’t. My brain hurts.

What fascinates me is how honest Death has been (or at least seemed) throughout the series. In comparison to Chuck. I started writing a drabble about that and it turned into a whole other brain adventure on ideas of “why the TWEEST”, where it might lead, and so on.

I’m about to tuck this giant ass rant which weaves in and out of gnostic and hermetic thought alongside how it may apply to our canon since it’s very “stream of thought” on my part involving everybody being so damn shocked at WHAT A TWIST with Chuck while I was like “Y... yeah? Wait- wait that- oh I forgot most people don’t think like I do.”

There is also a long list of related posts I’ve been drumming on about all season:

(x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE MISSING PIECES AFTER READING THIS, DOUBLE BACK. Cuz at this point I’m just at stream of thought on where Dabb and co may be taking this.

So, addressing Chuck, the creator, the world builder, the liar.

A preface: Hermeticism believes in gnosis as fundamental understanding, but not all Gnosticism is Hermeticism, as over time, Gnosticism grew into a TOTALLY separate branch that was popularly considered nihilistic, whereas Hermetic stuff was generally more optimistic. I’ll address them separately, even if they’re incredibly related and roll back to that closer to the end.

Nous. Chuck is Nous (or Nous II, which I’ll get to WAYYYY below). At times Nous is divided into three forms -- Thought, Reason, and Anthropos. Anthropos is the human soul, destined to return to god. Much like the (terribly delivered) ideology of S6-7, the idea is that God is made of innumerable souls, and those that conduct themselves properly may become powers of god.

At the same time, cosmogeny is a hot fucking mess. Any person who dabbles in cosmogony that’s worth their salt will still tell you that, well, they weren’t there at the start of the world, but Empedocles was the sharp kind of whip that got to the important truths that I think will be the real human moralistic line of our final season for our actual heroes, Team Free Will: “Love and strife are the two principle forces driving all things. Things come together, things fall apart. The rest is commentary.” That’s a bit of an aside, just here while we’re literally poking at the Supernatural cosmogony in canon.

Billie and God, they’re at strife here -- in the end, I’ll reap god, too.

On the other hand, Team Free Will tend to make their choices based on love.

A few points to get out of my way before I circle to my original point: modern Gnostics revere Lucifer as Prometheus. I feel I’ve missed that important word in my brush overs. Modern. Thing is, that’s a modern invention completely absent in sources like the Pleroma. But the Apocryphon of John did lend toward it. The whole cascade of symbology ends up with them saying Jesus and Lucifer are one in the same, but again, modern invention, but definitely a step The Powers That Be have not even hinted or breathed in the direction of and I don’t see them taking that step. That said, Lucifer called out propaganda. And regardless of if Lucifer is a modern or ancient christ figure, the gnostic contempt for Jehovah wasn’t particularly a secret.

Because regardless of if the snake in the gnostic garden was Lucifer or Satan (it IS in Supernatural), it was a savior figure breaking through Chuck’s false reality. A constructed reality. A veil of lies built around a creation he wanted run HIS way.

Chuck’s false reality has been REPEATEDLY addressed as propaganda by Lucifer, who we didn’t want to believe. Chuck misguided them as a lowkey writer right off the bat. Chuck disregarded their prayers for years. Chuck only came back when his ass was on the line from his own equal and opposite pole but gave a really nifty drama story on why, which Lucifer AND EVERYBODY ELSE was pretty much given to swallow or just deal with it anyway.

But summarily, in gnostic tradition, Jehova is the actual satan and the snake was just misunderstood for trying to break the matrix everybody was in, which hits some later biblical curiosities when various affiliated names like the morning star, and phosphorus, both Luciferian, are also given as properties of the holy spirit. EG in Revelations, Jesus calls himself the morning star too. Let’s do a head flip here. But wait didn’t some preacher say the morning star was Lucifer and Lucifer was satan and - hold up, what.

Again, I’m not speculating TPTB are gonna say Lucifer is jeebus. If anything, his child here, Jack, is the christ figure we’re about to face, turning over the laws of the old cruel god in the time of apocalypse. But this idea that it’s just all so sudden that Chuck is turning around when he’s habitually made lies and excuses is kinda crazy to me? Like, he poofed out at the end of S5, so TPTB have known since then? Chuck has literally been lying through the whole series and this is just forgotten because Rob is a super sweet bean everybody loves? Chuck has forged an entire matrix of misery, or infinite multiples, and then decides to try a different story? Sam and Dean are his guys? They keep it interesting, until they try to take HIM down?

But with all the gnostic and hermetic symbolism, this is on point? But Chuck has been lying the whole time? Whereas Death, arguably... has not? I literally didn’t trust them to ever try to take this road on main stream TV?? Like???? This is really balls out???????????? In a christian coded culture?????????????????????

Which rides back to my original point in starting these rambles, discussing Billie: Billie may be neutral, cold and uncaring on a human empathetic level, but Death has arguably never lied. Left out parts of the truth, but never lied. There’s question on if she lied to Dean with The Last Book, but where do her books even come from? Are they Chuck’s shed drafts? And furthermore, this season had a distinct theme of adding words or readings that weren’t in the actual text (the gorgon note, the pearl journal) on interpretation. We still have grossly vague abstract idea of what was actually in that book, versus how Dean interpreted what was in that book and in the end, she still said what he did with the knowledge in that book was up to him. Just that it wouldn’t end in Michael using him to burn down the world. This is inarguably true.

Which lends to the idea of Death as a true natural force purposed for balance.

Whereas it took until season 14 for JehovaChuck to confess, just as biblically,

“I form the light and create darkness, I make peace, and create evil…” (Isaiah 45:7)

The word translated “evil” is from a Hebrew word that means “adversity, affliction, calamity, distress, misery.” Other major English Bible translations render the word: “disaster” (NIV, HCSB), “calamity” (NKJV, NAS, ESV), and “woe” (NRSV). The Hebrew word can refer to moral evil, and often does have this meaning in the Hebrew Scriptures.

In retrograde some of this is impossible for them to exist since, we know, original draft REAL LIFE SIDE, angels were never intended and all of that hoohah. So the complexities of “The snake in the garden wasn’t really a bad dude, just a misunderstood rebel, and God essentially = Lucifer” which, in the long term, rolls into the gnostic pessimistic view. What we call god was basically satan all along with a false matrix of control. Gnostic world view is that god is a lying dick and the snake wasn’t all so bad and we should listen and break out. The end.

Hermetics address this in god being good, but still having a wholeassed other set on polarities and what actually defines good, and reaches above a metaphorical jehova-head for an actual god. The All. In The Nothing. Also really super duper familiar right now.

Which cycles back to season 5, “In the end, I’ll reap god, too.” Spoke Death. He clarified the chicken and the egg ambiguities, which again, *rolls another circle around*

Back to gnostic first:

We have a forefather or pro-arche, a pre-beginning, a fore-father, considered as the idea of Depth -- with whom existed Thought who’s also called Grace and Silence. The Empty Space & Grace, then Mind & Truth. But Nous, the Mind, born of Depth & Grace, sent forth Word & Life and brought forth Anthropos & Ecclesia - Man & Church, which were the primal eight.

Now, gnosticism is a really broad wash, some sects have REALLY wild ass takes on what causes death, but the simple idea of Death is quite literally beyond... like-- if god created The Word (huehuehue) and Life, it’s not that Death is even its own force, so much as a negative space contrary to the work of Nous.

Chaining in my stream of thought here for a second, tapping back to “God was never on your side” as both the lead-in and lead-out of the season tells me that for all the gnostic/hermetic stuff flying around, this season did lean into gnostic Nihilism (huehuehue). The question is if the hermetic Optimism (huehuehue) is going anywhere, because that’s where my recent gong banging about the Shadow (huehuehue), The All, and all of that is on about and it’s just hanging out there, like an invitation for them to face their mirrors and take on the godhead themselves, beyond Chuck, and own that role -- or, yes, could just be reduced to an uber villain.

Fascinatingly, The All as it was used in FMA - which you may remember me dropping a gif of here or there to compare to the Empty Smile - was also Truth. *points back up to the above*

Anyway, to the hermetic reading, it’s a matter of how, if at all, they subvert their own dark-god roll here. The Gnostic God is a dick. The Hermetic god can still be a dick, but his motivations in creating the universe are notably less intentionally malignant. The god of 14.20 is the gnostic god. The question is if he has a hermetic optimistic lining.

The accounts vary slightly, but summarily man was much like the angels at first, a being of androgynous soul unchained to the physical realm, who helped DESIGN to the original world, as *points back above again* god himself is actually a collective vat of souls, or the substance that makes souls. “Let us make man in our own image,” as it were. Nature looked up at man and fell in love with it. Man looked down at nature and fell in love with it. But man fell in love with creation and wanted to dwell in it, and then variably yeeted themselves into the physical world or, by some accounts, were chained into it. Which made them subject to sleep, sex... and yes, gave life, but also the possibility for death. It leads to a state of reincarnation until they’re worth reuniting with the godhead.

Basically, it’s the tale of the angels fall itself, which I think is more where we’re going to see the hermetic aspect rearing its head in this telling. But I could be wrong. Shrug emoji. Man looks up at angel falls in love with it, angel looks down at man and falls in love with it, angel yeets self into human world. Sounds super familiar or something somehow. Shrug emoji again.

Because there’s also the hermetic issue of Nous and... Second Nous. Nous II which is actually closer to The Word made the planets and all the cool stuff, but Nous I actually made man, which makes a hella complicated part in our SPN lore I don’t expect to see addressed. But the creation myth introduces astrology, planets, and man, law - destiny -- from which man is expected and given to rise above. Man with power over creation. “You create your own reality” is literally the idea here. The idea that man has a dual nature -- the immaterial soul, and a physical body after the fall, sending a piece of the heavens into man.

But that man is also the equal, or at least potential equal of god, which kinda disturbs the hell out of fundamentalist christians. “As above, so below,” the Ouroboros is more than a cycle, but also the respective interconnectivity and equality of all things. Some hermetic schools even believe “God only knows what you know,” making the earthly experience or, in SPN, the story a learning experience for the creator as well as the individual, though this is sorta not-cool to fundamentalists so, *tosses papers in air*

Either way about it, Hermeticism addresses the uh, multiple levels of God and the Nous, just like Nous was not necessarily First Tier Creative Force as much as chicken or the egg or second timeless force against other concepts of NothingSpace.

Summarily, Gnosticism addresses the world as a dark, shitty place full of demons to overcome, a constant struggle to attain higher levels, and an escape at the end in death. The hermetic view is not dark, it’s about beauty and divine harmony, and instead of escaping the world he expands himself to command the world. Which, respectively, gives us two VERY different endings of a new godhead or absolute humanity as the goal in standing against Chuck and what he’s driving them to do.

As for the motivations, even hermeticists can’t agree on that. Does the All have something to gain by acting? Is it compelled to? Or is it like the Kybalion yells, “THE ALL ACTS BECAUSE IT ACTS.” or like Michael, “because I CAN.”

But The All as the true Nous would also be above Chuck. Chuck would be the masculine Jehova. We have the feminine Shekinah in Amara. Chuck is Nous II, whether or not SPN lore addresses if Nous I (The Shadow?) created man or not or just snowballs it into one thing.

And Death, beyond God, a void presence, a silence in the midst of Depth, beyond the Word and the Life but able to read it and keep balance, has its own bones to pick -- without lies, without words, simply with action. But Death is not the end, really, especially not in hermetic rebirth. It’s merely a point of change. But we know even god can die. And in the end, Death will even reap god. And we are in the end. Even God has said it. So, buckle in folks as we deep dive into some crazy level theology.

SPN Cosmogony is making my head hurt is what it is but I see our potentials and they’re all very interesting.

Again, cycling back to related/accessory posts:

(x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

#supernatural #meta #sorta #my meta #mine #pagan life #theology #billie #death #god #chuck #14.20 #finale #moriah #season 15 #cosmogenesis #demiurge #souls

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girlbookwrm · 6 years

Text

It’s here! At last! THE MIGHTY PRE ENDGAME REWATCH CONTINUES, WITH:

AKA IS IT MY BIRTHDAY? YES. YES IT IS.

(or it was at any rate, it took me Some Time to get this all typed up because holy fuck it’s long. looks like i’ve got Some Feelings about The Winter Soldier. WHO KNEW)

ANYWAY, if you’re wondering what the hell this is all about i’ve been rewatching all the marvel movies (and commentating on them) in preparation for Avengers: Endgame and NOW IT IS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE ONE

I got @goteamwin and @pegasuschick here IT’S A PARTY! WE GOT COOL RANCH DORITOS AND BRAINWASHED SUPERSOLDIERS LET’S DO THIS.

Day 912: i still miss the old marvel logo

LISTEN THIS IS THE BEST OPENING SCENE IN MARVEL HISTORY FIGHT ME.

“~on your left ;)~” honestly? iconic.

God Bless Steven Grant Rogers and his Smedium Shirts.

Steve, known bisexual disaster, is hitting on Sam here. this isn’t even in question, right? Sam’s quip about “making me look good to the girl at the front desk” was a soft rejection and Steve takes it like a champ.

Important to note: the black widow uses emojis in her text messages.

Also important to note: Sam Wilson hits on the Black Widow because he flies into combat at 100 miles per hour wearing a tee-shirt and dad jeans he fears nothing not even death itself

also also important to note that The Roommate went to see this movie by herself, low key cosplaying as Fem!Cap. she did this in part because I had gone to see it first (i was in the UK at the time, and it came out over there before it came out in the US. ~IRONY~) and as soon as I got back from seeing it (i had low-key cosplayed as fem!Hawkeye. it’s a long story) I emailed her and was like O HAI U SEEN DIS? U WILL LIKE IT. ~and she dii-iiiiiid.~

every time i see this scene now, i hear that bit from the gag real.

cevans: Kill the engines. wait for instructions. *whining and stamping his foot* cuz i’m in chaaaaaaaarge.

Being asked about your dating life and then immediately jumping out of an airplane is a Big Mood

I would like us all to appreciate that steve put a nice matte stealth finish on his patriotic dinner plate, special for this mission.

Also, we’re all agreed that Steve kills at pool, yeah? Give me Steve being a pool shark at the local watering hole plz n thank.

Steve: *punches a guy through the shield*

The Roommate: but why does he punch that guy through the shield?

Me, having a Terrible Thought: Maybe one time he accidentally punched through a guy’s face and ever since then he uses the shield as, like, a buffer when he wants to take people alive.

The Gal Pal: WOW. YOU WENT THERE.

parkour!

~Hey Sailor ;)~

that one guy working for Batroc really needs to lay off the steroids, or whatever is giving him this Unnecessary Rage. You know the guy I mean.

love how batroc is jchilling and then WHAM! IT IS I! AMERICA!

ON! VA! VOIR!

did he learn this from Dernier? he learned this from Dernier.

The Gal Pal: that is a ridiculously huge flash drive

Me, Just Now: overcompensate much?

Nat’s little eyeroll after Steve says “you’re damn right”

The Roommate: Nat is So Tired of Steve’s Drama™. And now she’s going to have to deal with his cold shoulder the whole flight back, and she’s going to have no one to talk to but Rumlow and uggghhhhhh

Steve comes into Fury's office and Damn. Dat Ass.

The Roommate: They know what they're doing here.

eyyyyyy tony’s in this movie (kinda)

I love that Steve just like, drives around with the shield on his back.

Enter The Smithsonian.

The Roommate: I! LOVE! THIS! SO! MUUUUUUCH!!!

Me: Gee sure would be nice to be able to go to a smithsonian right now.

*american sobbing intensifies*

The Roommate: what is the timeline here? does he come straight back from the mission into yelling at fury? and then straight here?? Is Steve just like “oop time to go look at my old stuff and Emote”? Is this his routine??

buckyyyyyyyyyyy

listen yall know the extent of my BuckRogers feels but every time they pull out that compass i develop a terrible case of The Steggies.

“It’s just not the same” ha ha kill me.

~So Dramatic ;)~

“Steve?” HA HA HA KILL ME

Fury’s Computer:

At This Juncture The Commentators Would Like It Noted That It Has Been 23 Solid Minutes of Stuff We 1000% L O V E and everyone’s favorite brainwashee has not even appeared yet.

but he’s coming

s o o n

Also, we all hate Alexander Pierce but he is a great villain and also Robert Redford might be an older fella but he can definitely still get it heyooo

Steve is so awkward here. But like, imagine him actually going to one of these VA things, like everyone’s all “ied this, helicopter that” and steve’s just like “so one time in ‘44 i punched my way into a panzer”

The Roommate, Who Is Sometimes More Evil Than Me: ~NOW IS AN EXCELLENT TIME TO REMEMBER THAT RILEY WASN’T IN A PLAAAAAANE~

at this moment, the DC driving types lost their goddamn minds.

“WHAT IS THIS? WHERE IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE? WHERE, IN WASHINGTION, THE DISTRICT OF GODDAMN COLUMBIA, IS THERE THIS LITTLE TRAFFIC, HUH??”

“You wanna see my lease?” i c o n i c.

Did you know that SLJ was an actual Black Panther? I did not know this, but as soon as the Gal Pal told me, i was like “oh yeah that checks out.”

meanwhile, the couch based road rage continued all around me.

“This part of DC ~DOES NOT EXIIIIIIIIIIIIST~”

“Traffic alert? on the Roosevelt Bridge? Yeah in other news WATER IS WET.”

“wait is he getting on 66? ARE YOU GETTING ON 66?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???”

“Have you ever even been on 495?????”

HE’S HERE!!!

just like, damn gurl, u make that highway ur catwalk.

Me: What the hell kind of laser pointer do you have there, Nick?

The Gal Pal & The Roommate: It’s A Lightsaber.

The Roommate: So is this just like? An Average Day In The Life Of Captain Rogers? Get up, go for a run, annoy a veteran, fly to the other side of the world, kick ass, fly home, talk back to a superior officer, drop my priceless shield off at home, go emote at a smithsonian exhibit, have my heart ripped out by my nonagenarian ex, go flirt with annoy a veteran (part two, now with added Feelings™) go home, get rejected by my neighbor, CHASE A FUGITIVE.

JUST ANOTHER DAY! IN THE LIFE OF STEVEN GRANT ROGERS!!

honestly his neighbors must hate him

that’s why Sharon’s his neighbor, everyone else LEFT.

The Biggest Flash Drive

Let’s Not Forget, that because she is undercover as a nurse, Sharon probably just kicked that door down with crocs.

YOU’RE WELCOME

let’s appreciate that the Soldier’s theme music is just SCREAMING and also you should know that every time it comes on, the Gal Pal and I start SCREAMING. not, like, in an “oh we’re excited” way, just, like, the way you sing along to the theme song of your favorite TV show, you know?

PARKOUR!

The Roommate: good job with your eyeliner there, buddy. You Did Your Best.

The Gal Pal: That Is Dupont Circle and Steve is Extremely Gay.

(yes, we know he’s bi.)

Natasha really should know better than to believe that Nick is dead.

THAT IS THE WORST PLACE TO HIDE THE FLASH DRIVE

The Gal Pal: genuinely, it’s such a bad hiding place it stresses me out.

The Roommate: Yeah, what was he thinking? I mean, was his logic just that no one likes that gross bubblegum?

Me: UM WHAT?

The Gal Pal: EXCUSE YOU THAT IS BUBBLE YUM.

The Roommate: ... yeah but it’s the gross bubblegum flavor?

At this point we lost a few minutes to divide into Pro and Anti Bubblegum Camps and then had to run the movie back because we missed:

~Neighbor ;)~

i c o n i c

The Roommate: Sir. Stop Having That Face. That is Illegal.

(she is having A Difficulty. The Difficulty is cevans’ jawline)

But seriously: What actually happens in this scene? We are all Steve and we all want to punch our way out of this confusing conversation.

God that face/those tits/that ass tho

Young Man. You Stop That.

THE ELEVATOR SCENE. I mean how many movies can say that some of their best scenes happen in an elevator? That alone is a real accomplishment.

They’re all ~soooo casual~ and then there’s rollins, who isn’t even trying. “records.” These WWE wrestlers are not going to records, come on.

at this point we stopped commentating except in inarticulate whoops of delight and shrieks of glee. except for one brief aside

Me: This scene is so sexy, but like, not in a sexy way? Like, the fighting style isn’t that “oooo I’m fighting in a sexy way” it’s just, it’s so...!

The Roommate: Primal?

and I regret to inform you all that yes, she is 100% Correct, it is indeed sexy in a primal way.

“whoa big guy”

i just.

that’s all i got on that

tiny turtle of freedom

we had the subtitles on, and it just says “woman screams” Screams in what? JOY?

It’s raining men! Hallelujah!

“Stand down, Captain Rogers! Stand! Down!

Captain Rogers: *accelerates*

They’re being made to watch social media so what I want to know is which poor SHIELD guy got stuck monitoring tumblr?

“oh we’re getting all kinds of hits but uhhhhhhhhh they’re not......... pertinent..............”

why doesn’t The Biggest Flash Drive have a cap? it is now full of crumbs. it’s full of crumbs, guys. if it’s going to be that big it should at least be one of those cool slider ones.

“Are you calling for my resignation? do you know who i am? Bitch I Am Robert Redford.”

Apple Store Aaron. “hey guys why’s your flash drive so big??”

“yeeeah. we’re getting married.”

Honeymoon destinations -- where are you going?

Steve: (without thinking, reads the first thing he sees) New Jersey

Steve: *dies a little inside*

Steve: *forgive me bucky for i have sinned*

I love that they’re coming out and Steve is 100% tactical brain and then Nat’s just like “put your arm around me and laugh” and when it works Steve just looks back over his shoulder like:

oh my god it worked???

sPyING is WitCHCraFT?????

“was that your first kiss since 1945?”

“That was not my first kiss since 1945,” said Steven Grant Rogers, Who Is Definitely Lying, and Furthermore, Is Fooling Exactly No One.

Sidenote: Ship and let ship, obviously and always, but I love Steve and Nat as BROS too much to ever see them romantically, The Bromance Is Strong With Them.

it’s been said before, but it’s worth saying again

Steve: kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience.

Bucky, ten minutes later, wearing bondage gear: HELLO IT IS I

SKINNY STEVE!

of course he memorized the army regulations.

Listen. The cell phone trick Bugs Me™ and the only thing that lets me get through it is the idea that they cleverly cut around natasha standing there for 40 minutes trying out every possible permutation of those numbers, with possible duplications.

I like the idea that Computer!Zola has been building this little fanvideo since the mid-seventies and he’s just! so excited! to show it to someone!

Steve punching the screen is another Big Mood.

“even captain america and the black widow can’t survive a missile Directly To The Face” BITCH U THOUGHT

it’s nice that they give bucko a kirk light here

~u want some milk? ;)~

honestly, what the fuck even is that line.

they made Robert Redford say that line.

what does it mean

YOUNG MAN! THAT IS! ILLEGAL!

altho tbh i want a slightly grubby Steve in a tank top to give me a pep talk, like, every day. that would be fine.

The Gal Pal, A Curly Haired Individual: hhhhhhhow did Natasha straighten her hair. This makes me So Angry.

Me: I mean, I like to imagine her with Sam’s Iron and ironing board, just like *mimes frantically ironing hair with a Very Soviet Expression*

Fort Meade is the best scene that isn’t in the movie.

Aw Gary Shandling’s here. Awwwww Gary Shandling...

Sam, are you intimidating this guy or flirting with him?

To Those who remember the Potato/Gremlin Scale, I propose a third option, a kind of venn diagram situation going on, where the third option is Fey Creature. Sam is neither Potato nor gremlin, but he might be a Fey Creature.

God I love this scene.

LOOK AT SAM HERE: No armor, no flightsuit, no fucking knee pads no goddamn helmet just Casual Dad Falcon, Suns Out Guns Out.

Steve: What the fuck’s an SAT.

he’s coming.

*SCREAMING*

he’s here.

is it murder or is he modeling?? “you got this Soldier, make ‘em wait for it... Boom.”

this is the greatest fight scene of all time, honestly. This and then the fight scene in the first RDJ holmes movie are the Only fight scenes i can even remotely stand to watch. Except maybe some of the bending battles in ATLA. but this scene. this is top of the list. it’s just. *kissy chef fingers*

Soldier strolling along not firing his weapon because he has no shot and he is a Child of the Depression who don’t waste no bullets.

only loses his cool when Widow Breaks his stuff.

Sam Wilson: Brings a pocket knife to an automatic rifle fight and wins.

“go, I got this!”

aw yeah you do

THAT STRUT™

Soldier strolling along the street. so bored. could be home watching project runway.

That thing Soldier does with the arm Does Things to me for reasons that I choose not to examine too closely

ANYWAY WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT.

“who the hell is bucky” wow there Soldier you went from Full Russian to American Accented English awfully quick I Wonder Why

Soldier’s reaction to confusion is to Immediately Shoot and honestly that’s a Big Mood.

We are all agreed that the only reason SHIELD succeeds in taking Steve in is because

look at that face

steve’s not here right now, please leave a message.

More DC Area Rage: “WHERE IS THIS DAM? WHERE??”

natasha y r u surprised that Fury is alive?

oh noooooooooooo it’s time for this scene

OHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO

Robert Redford to James Buchanan Barnes: You are a literal treasure.

OH NO OH NO OH NO

The Roommate: yeahhhhh this was maybe an. inappropriate scene for me to have to see in a theater. alone.

I love that while they’re making this ridiculous plan (yeah it’s ridiculous, i don’t care) Fury has to check in with Sam (WHO HE HAS LITERALLY NEVER MET BEFORE) presumably to just touch base and be like “Is this White Nonsense™?”

spoiler alert it is not White Nonsense™, but it definitely is Extra™

DAT JAWLINE THO. of course he’s giving the orders, LOOK AT THAT JAWLINE

LIL STEEB!

I’m with you to the end of the line.

what kind of marriage vow nonsense is that

jesus.

anyway, Sam comes in like: IT IS I! YOUR BEST FRIEND! YOUR BEST FRIEND IS ME NOW!

poooterrrr!!

This is the second secure government facility that they have broken into. Possibly the third, depending whether you count the bunker.

Dem Asses. Seriously. Everyone in this shot has an enviable ass. *distinguished golf clapping* bravo

“~Excuse us~” i c o n i c

God, Steve gives this speech and then we get sam’s reaction and you can physically see him having a sexual identity crisis and honestly BIG MOOD THERE, SAM

I have questions about the effect of this on the potomac river which has already had a hard enough time and does not deserve this Supervillain Nonsense.

you are ON FOOT steven. it is a FLYING AIRCRAFT CARRIER and you are ON! FOOT!

i’m so mad that it works too

mad, but like, also turned on. duh.

what’s cap’s true superpower? DRAMA

The saddest thing in this movie is that Jenny Agutter is Scarlet Johansson

don’t get me wrong, i like scarjo but this movie would’ve been even better if it wasn’t the black widow and was just a badass old british lady.

The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the sane one.

Me: He flies into combat at 100 miles per hour with a jet pack and a tee shirt he is not the sane one.

The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the emotionally balanced one?

Me: given the aforementioned armorless airborne combat situation that is highly fucking debatable my dude.

*SCREAMING*

HE’S HERE

let’s appreciate that Bucky is definitely flying this quinjet with a dead guy that he just murdered as his copilot.

i don’t know why that is so badass to me but it is

again, we don’t have time to unpack all of that, moving on.

Nick Fury: BITCH YOU THOUGHT

sidenote: i’m gonna really enjoy coming back to this movie after Captain Marvel. I can just feel it.

Maria is so casual about this. And that is an extremely sexy thing. I’m not sorry.

“Hey Sam, I’m gonna need a ride.”

Sam is still learning Rogersese and does not know that this means “I ALREADY DID THE STUPID THING PLEASE COME GET ME.”

Bucky ripping the wings off a beautiful butterfly

because Sam IS a beautiful butterfly.

except now his knees and legs and ankles are all broken because That’s How Bones Work.

he’s here

lol of course he’s got a knife.

I just love the sounds the arm makes.

butwedon’thavetimetounpackallofthat

the slide Bucky does here, this isn’t combat this is voguing.

Steve fights like the world is his barroom, bucky fights like the world is his catwalk.

“DON’T YOU TALK TO MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT,” Nicholas J Fury

what’s the found family version of a BroTP? I have that for Dad!Nick and Adopted!Soviet!Assassin!Daughter!Natasha.

found familotp? FFOTP? no, that sounds like some kind of tactical asset. “LAUNCH THE FFOTP”

anyway, get on this tumblr, i want at least 10 options on my desk by monday.

This Extra. He could honestly make a living playing Confederates and Klansmen, you know which extra I mean.

“wHere ahre the tahrgets?”

the targets... is we.

A DC Local Aside: Everyone on 495 is So Tired of this nonsense. I sincerely hope they all remembered to pee before they left work. I hope they have snacks and water in their cars. because they now live on 495.

this shitshow is gonna fuck up our already extremely fucked up traffic patterns for yeeeeaaaaarrrrrssssss

Sam’s a born quipper, so i really like it when he sees the helicarrier coming down and just fucking bolts. NO TIME FOR SASS WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE

“Got a location on Rogers?”

Don’t know where he is, but he’s doing something stupid, i Guarantee It.

“you know me.”

“nNOo I dOn’T!”

Oh Steve. You put that shield down So Often. And you keep having to fucking pick it up a-fucking-gain.

And This Was The Moment When We All Realized That We Were In Trouble.

Big Mood, Bucky. Big Mood.

Sam wasn’t on the approved visitor’s list or anything, he just winked at one (1) nurse and they let him in.

i know just what to say it’ll annoy him so fucking much. “on your left.”

“Why haven’t we heard from Captain Rogers?”

Because he is taking a damn nap.

no but seriously, because if we put him in front of a camera right now, you will get the Talking To of the Century.

*eight hours later, congress is crying, hydra has surrendered, fox news is shutting down, steve rogers is still going strong* “AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON STUDENT DEBT!”

~cool guys don’t look at congressional meltdowns. They drop the mic and they walk away~

IT WAS CLEVELAND, IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING.

THEY FILMED IN CLEVELAND.

(they did film some in DC, obviously, but also cleveland.

*emoting at exhibits intensifies*

*SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*

in sum i have been typing for Too Long and I’m going to hit post so i can Go To Bed but there may need to be Corrections in the morning who tf knows

#the mighty pre endgame rewatch #mcu #Captain America: The Winter Soldier

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eerythingisshaka · 6 years

Text

Death of a Bachelor

(Erik Killmonger POV)

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: sSmutSs, fuckboyness

A/N: Possible new series? So hear me out, this was inspired by the movie Alfie, the Michael Caine version is the only one I seen. But Erik is going to experience four, maybe five women, each very different from the next. He’s having fun with them but at some point he’s going to have to tighten up on some of his ways, whether it’s with a lucky lady from the five, or by his damn self. I also just wanted to do a smut since I haven’t in a minute and no one is gettin any in my series’ (also I may have some residual hormones that I can’t work out right now because nature doesn’t want me to have any pleasure this week, so I’m getting it out here). The one time my mama asks me what I’m writing about and it’s THIS, smh. First POV of a character, so hopefully his spirit comes across here.

I swear God had a sense of humor making a nigga like me. The average man woulda been shot his on brains out with the bullshit I have had to deal with in my life. I’m not goin into all my childhood shit right now, that psychology and repressed emotions bull never rocked with me for real. Nah, I’m talkin bout my life right here, right now. People just won’t leave me the hell alone!

So boom, it’s like this. I like to take care of myself. I do my cardio every Monday, Wednesday, Saturday. That can be runnin, boxin, some P90X or whatever the fuck to keep me on my toes. I do weight training Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, doublin up when I feel like it with my cardio days; lightwork, you feel me? All that to say ya boy is stacked. You couldn’t put no more muscle on this 6’0 frame if you tried, took a damn long time but I finally got my shit filled out right.

And I’m proud of my shit, gotta double back by the mirror every so often just to catch myself lookin. I ain’t narcissistic or nothin, but fuck you if you think I should be humble, I earned this.

I say all that to say it’s funny how people think they entitled to your time just because you give em some dick every other visit. Females will tell you different, but they just as thirsty as niggas these days. I go out the gym, fresh from a shower in my wife beater and sweats, right? I got my shades on cuz I’m not tryna socialize, just get my protein powder and jet.

What they do? Stare at me walkin past the produce section, holdin they bananas in a daze, fuckin me with they eyes! On one hand, I’m cool with it, like I said I work for this body to be admired. Bitches love feelin on my stomach and chest while I dig them out, clawing my back when my shit too deep for em. But then I say good morning, and they ass wanna look at me funky and go about they business! Like I bothered them with some eye fuckin! Bitch if you don’t go on somewhere witcho thirsty ass! Maybe my approach is off, but fuck that, I know what you were thinkin bout, and that don’t require much introduction to get to.

That’s a good sign for me though, cuz I know they gon run off to they little friends talking bout, “Girl, this fine ass nigga said Hi to me at the grocery store today. Bitch, I hope I see him again, I might have to fuck him right on the tomatoes!” I know them! They act proud, but they don’t wanna come off hoeish.

Lemme see you be a hoe! I cannot stress that enough! There’s an artform to it though, don’t go comin up on me, rubbin my ass and whisperin in my ear (depends on the location and time of day though for that). Shit, come up to me and say hi for once! Being the aggressor gets tired after a while. See, when a baby girl come up to me, smilin all confident and shit like she holdin the meanin to life between her legs, askin me who I am and what she wants, NIGGA! You ain’t said nothin but a word, ma!

That’s how I got involved with this one girl, Venice, like that town in Italy. She a real cute redbone, bout 5’5 wears these red bottom heels everyday (at least she has em one whenever I see her...never takes em off). She work as a paralegal, so she gotta wear blazers, skirts, or pantsuits, which I don’t always find sexiest but the way she gets em tailored to her body, whew man, it’s almost porno levels of ridiculous but that’s just cuz how thicc she is. Bitch can’t help it!

I go to this deli shop on lunch sometimes and she was in line with her phone glued to her eyeballs, so I knew she wasn’t wantin to be fucked around with. I respect a woman’s boundaries, you ain’t gotta tell me twice to go the fuck on somewhere. But tell me why when I’m pickin up pastrami on rye, ready to smash that thing I hear her behind me talkin bout, “I took you as more of a footlong type of guy.” If that ain’t no damn innuendo I don’t know what the fuck is. I’m lookin at her like she gotta be jokin, but damn her with that fuckin smile. She smelt good too, like coconut and fresh laundry, she was clean clean. She tried to hide her lil joke talmbout “I meant you so look like you workout, your meal just don’t match the appetite I envisioned.” So I ask her if she been envisioning in more ways than one and that got her cackling real quick, touchin on me like we old classmates reuniting. Long story short, we exchanged numbers and I get a text at the end of the day askin me to pull up to her job and next thing I know, we fuckin on her desk. She loud as fuck too. The building seemed like it was cleared out but damn, the police coulda been called for all she was doin. The pussy was fire though, almost had me losin my shit. She keeps it clean, except for some hair across the top of her pussy like a toupee. She likes to ride it though, that probably has to do with her profession, wantin power over people. Soon as she start cummin though, she a damsel in distress needin her Superman to finish things off.

So I been fuckin with her for a little over a month now. It’s real causal, we meet more after dark than in the daytime. It’s fun, I ain’t had to jackoff too much cuz she seems to work with my shit like circadian rhythm or whatever. Soon as I felt my shit gettin hard, my phone light up.

Tonight wasn’t no different. I was working out late that night, finishing a couple of miles on the treadmill when a notification interrupts my music. I look at my phone and it’s a picture of her hand spreading her pussy lips out. Damn, purple and pink were my favorite colors. I had to hit the emergency stop so I didn’t bust my face on the machine. I let her know I would be there in a hour, she says to make it 30 minutes.

This is when I have a problem with her, she think she run me! If I tell her I can’t come today, she says she can help with that. I tell her I’m tired, she say I don’t have to do shit but lay there. I was outta town once, and she still not satisfied until I get her on FaceTime so she can see me jackoff while she play with herself. If it didn’t turn me on so damn much, I’d drop her for good.

So, after I shower and start heading to my car, she text me with this address I don’t know. When I Googled, it led me to some condo on the other side of town. I asked her what this was about and the bitch left me on read. Fuck outta here with that shit. I ain’t Scooby Doo, and I don’t feel like solvin mysteries. Fuck I look like?!

But my dumbass follows the scent of hot n ready pussy soon as it pops up, so I go and whatever. Place look like the fuckin Powerpuff Girls live here, doin the absolute most for one woman to be livin in by herself.

When I go knockin on her front door, it just opens on its own like a haunted house. I peek in, bout to call her lame ass for tellin me an address I don’t know about, tryna get a Black man killed, I hear her voice.

“Come on in, baby.”

I stepped my ass in there real slow, checkin my peripherals until I saw her sittin on the couch in some see through robe lookin at her fireplace. I coulda busted concrete with the hard on I got lookin at her. Those titties, nigga, sittin up under her chin practically, just overflowin she so big.

“What’re you standin there like you seen a ghost. Come sit like you got some kind of sense.”

“What you got the front door open like that for?” I asked her, sittin next to her.

“I knew you were coming by. I don’t feel like getting up if I don’t have to.” She takes a bottle of Hennessy from the table in front of us and pours two glasses, handing me one of em.

I take a sip, nursing my drink. “You tryna be a pillow princess tonight or sumthin? Wantin me to do all the work?” I asked her. I couldnt help but reach out to feel that ass through her robe but she smacked my hand.

“Not like that, Erik! I want you to finish that drink, and maybe another. I want to be entertained a little more than usual tonight.” She knocked back her drink quicker than a jackrabbit on a date. She set her drink down, scooching over closer to me. I couldn’t keep my eyes off them damn titties! She started rubbin the inner part of my leg and I took the Henny down, you feel me!

She poured me another drink and started talkin all general about my day and shit. I wasn’t giving her nothin but one word answers cuz I was startin to get a lil lit off of the drink and she kept playin in my hair, kissin my neck and shit. I was tired of tellin her to chill out with alldat cuz I damn sure was ready to teach her ass some fuckin manners.

So I grab her thigh and pull her big ass over my lap, giving them cheeks a Jaws of Life-ass squeeze. I heard her gasp from my strength, she love that shit.

“Erik, hang on-” She try and say but I ain’t wantin to hear her mouth. I slip my hand in her panties and started washing my hands, her shit was like a faucet with that drip. I knew she was ready, think she playin with somebody.

“Fuck a ‘hang on’. Hang on these nuts, what you finna do.” I was bout to be in my element! Pussy poolin and I was finna dive, my nigga! Next thing I know my hair gettin pulled and yanked backward, hurt like a muthafucka.

“Damn Venice! What the fu-”

She took my hand and licked them off all slow. I felt her tongue dancing on my fingertips before she pinned my hand back.

“I really, really, love it when you’re rude, Erik. I do! But when I tell you to hold on, you say ‘yes ma’am’, remember?”

She pullin that dominance shit again. I ain’t on no punk shit, let the record show. But if this moves things along, then, “Yes ma’am.”

Then the damn doorbell rings! “Finally!” Venice gets up for the door, walkin all fast.

“Who the fuck are you expectin?” I’m gettin loud with her cuz I didn’t sign up for none of this shit. I was supposed to soak my wood and dip, she be extra but this on some other shit.

She turns around and puts her a finger to her mouth at me before opening the door. Some blonde girl comes through the door sayin Hi and huggin Venice like this a tea party. So, I’m sittin on the couch waiting for them to finish and her to leave, but Venice walks Jennifer Lawrence lookin clown into the living room.

“Erik, this is-”

“I don’t need to know her name, I need to know when she leavin.” I’m heated! My dick gettin soft by the minute, but Venice and her friend is unphased.

Venice starts playin in her hair and they start gigglin. “She’s here to keep us company. She’s fun, I think you both would do well with each other.”

Nigga, when she said this, I wondered if she spiked my damn drink or some bullshit. “I don’t associate with white folks Venice, stop wastin my time so we can do what I came over for.”

“That’s why Abbigayle is here! She wanted to meet you and-”

“You tellin bitches about me? Talkin behind my back?! I ain’t a damn gossip topic, fuck is your problem! I don’t fuck white bitches either, so you can just step ABBA!” I was ready to pack my happy ass up and go. Too many females on this planet to be strung up on one dummy.

“ERIK! I’m not going to be interrupted again! You’re making me lose my patience, that isn’t going to go over well for you. Be nice!”

I said already I ain’t no punk, right? And I meant that shit. But I ain’t never one to fuck up a good time, fuckin is fuckin, so let’s just see what happens. “Yes ma’am.”

Venice liked that, she instantly walked all slow and sexy over to me tellin me good job and shit, kissin on me. For a second I forgot about Abracadabra but then I feel an extra pair of hands at my lap and I see her unbuttoning my pants. Venice tooks my face back to look at her; she is really fuckin beautiful, I can’t even lie on that. Her lips felt like when you ain’t had Starburst in a while, and the first one in the line is a Pink or a Red, nigga her lips juicy as fuck and I didn’t want her to stop puttin em on me.

So we makin out on the couch and Abacus got my dick out and starts lickin and kissin my shit like it’s a damn bomb pop. That’s cute and all if I rock with you, but if I don’t know you like that? You just playin, show me what the hell that mouf do so I can hae somethin to talk to the homies bout later.

Venice gets off the couch and sits across the room in a chair, leaving her leg over the arm so her legs are spread out. I finally was gettin hard again, poor Abilify probably thought I was gettin there from her hen peckin round my shaft. Nah, I couldn’t hold back seeing Venice sittin there like she ain’t give an entire fuck that some random bitch was suckin my dick! Like, she ain’t been shy about what she likes in the bedroom but fuck, this was some new shit she pullin out on me.

When Venice took off her bra to let them titties hang on her stomach, I was about to lose my damn patience. I look down and Albuquerque and decide she needs some instruction on what to do when you got dick in your mouth.

“Open ya mouth up.” I told her, pulling her hair back to hold it behind her head. Soon as she does I pump my dick all into the back of her throat. She start hittin that gag reflex just right and then I let her breathe while she coughs and wipes her mascara down. I look over at Venice who has a slick smile on her face, nodding at me to continue. When Abomasnow started bobbin on my dick again, she was two handin my shit right? Venice brought a real lazy ass to this party. So I popped her face tellin her to take it deep. White girl was a trooper, I give her that. She barely got it halfway in before she started to gag, so I held her down just to make sure she wasn’t playing.

Lookin over at Venice, now she all relaxed, panties to the side with two fingers diggin herself out. She was bitin her lip tryin not to cum, she bet not either. With her full attenion I let her friend breathe again before I made her face my playground, fuckin the shit outta her throat. I tried my best to imagine it being Venice’s pussy like she probably wish her fingers were me. I couldn’t take no damn more.

I pulled out of Arby’s and strolled my ass on over to Venice, ready or not. Venice wasn’t fightin though as I picked her up under them thick ass legs while she held onto my shoulders. I guided her onto my Johnson and slid right in that bitch like it was nothin. She was so damn wet for me, and her face said it all that she was finally gettin what we came there to do. Venice pussy reminded me of when you just sat down after bein up on your feet all day and you feel like your heart is beatin in your soles when you get them propped up but it’s so damn better than gettin back up again. Venice knew how to tease me, and that shit was torture, but fuck if that release ain’t sweeter for it. Kissin on her lips while she breathin on me kept me goin, so I put her down turned her around by the fireplace. I picked her leg up and back and got right back in that pussy. This was my favorite position, cuz she felt tighter from behind, and she screamed louder too. Singing my name out like a gospel, cussin me out so much it almost hurt my feelins. Almost.

I almost forgot about her friend, til I felt a ticklin on my balls and there was Abscess tryna feel a part of this too, lickin my nuts and Venice’s pussy when I was slammin too hard in them cheeks. It was whatever though, cuz not a damn thing was bringing me out of her til I was through.

While I’m holdin Venice’s titties bouncin round, I felt myself gettin close, but that wasn’t happenin here, not like that. So I pull out of Venice, almost kickin Albany in the face and take her chair spot.

“Lemme fuck them titties real quick.” Venice gets between my legs and wraps them tig ol bitties round me, holdin them in place. Ma had my dick CREAMY, I didn’t even notice til then, she was cummin harder than a muthafucka. Venice friend helped keep her hair back, encouraging her with some “Go girl, get that cock baby!” type of Bring It On like nonsense. This ain’t no damn pep rally, fuck is you doin? Me and Venice were in our own damn world anyway, watchin her tongue hang out to catch my tip when it poke from her cleavage made me mad. She knew what the fuck to do, and I can’t stand it! Nigga, that nut was so long and hard, it could break steel, but it painted her face like a damn masterpiece, stickin on her eyelashes and shit. What the fuck she get for makin me work so damn hard.

With all that, her friend was pretty chill by the outcome. “Damn, Venice, you weren’t lying at all. Shits real!” givin Venice a high five while I pulled my pants up and she wiped her face.

“Right? Told you! Ok guys, I have to get some rest so just see yourselves out. We should do this again!”

I just knew she wasn’t talkin to me, but she really was walkin up her steps to her room like we were her employees clockin out.

I asked her, “Aye, Venice! This how you treat guests in your house!”

“You ain’t gotta go home, Erik, but you have got to get the hell outta here before my husband gets home.” Venice said with a flick of her wrist. Bossy ass bitch!

Me and Abbreviate walk outside and I just had to ask her somethin for what just happened. “Do y’all do this a lot?”

She just shrugs. “Sometimes, but I don’t say yes to every invitation. You just sounded too promising.”

I nodded, confused as hell, but flattered. “Right. And how y’all know each other?”

“I’m a colleague. Worked on a case together and got a little closer than necessary. Been a good friend since. Take care of yourself, Erik.” She gets in her car and that was that on that.

When I head to my whip, I get a text notification. I just knew it was Venice asking me to come back or at least a thank you. But no this time it was my other situation, Genesis.

Masterlist

#erik killmonger pov #erik killmonger fanfic #shakafic #fanfic

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makeste · 6 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 115: Hard-Boiled Villain Antics

Previously on BnHA: The provisional license exam concluded. Everyone from class 1-A passed except Todoroki and Bakugou. The exam committee announced there would be a special training course for the ones who failed, and they would then receive their licenses as well. They want all the students who made it to phase two of the exam to ultimately succeed because with All Might gone, the world needs as many quality heroes as it can get. The U.A. kids said their farewells to the other schools and prepared to board the bus home. Deku inquired about the weird girl from Shiketsu Academy and was told she had already left, and that furthermore she’d been acting strange for the last few days. We then learned that the girl, Camie, had actually been Toga in disguise, and that she has a shapeshifting quirk which allows her to take on others’ appearances once she drinks their blood. Oh, and. Now she has Deku’s.

Today on BnHA: We take a break from our intrepid hero hatchlings to check in with Twice from the League of Villains. He stares broodingly out the window like a noir character, listens to the news talk shit about Endeavor, watches a group of Tarantino tribute villains rob a store, and gets a phone call from the villain broker Giran. We learn that the League has temporarily split up and are recruiting to expand their organization. We also learn that Twice has more than a few screws loose, the reason being that when he was younger he used his duplication quirk to clone himself, only to have the clones all murder each other one by one until he was the last one standing. If that isn’t fucked up enough for you, perhaps I can interest you in the new villain introduced in this chapter, who goes by “Overhaul” and has a penchant for dismembering peeps. Or perhaps you’re more a fan of the classic villain, in which case the chapter ends with All Might meeting up with our old friend All for One, so, you know. Enjoy that.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 151 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

who the fuck is this

he’s staring darkly out of his window and hating all the people he sees walking past

but also there’s a black speech bubble thinking the exact opposite. “I think it’s fantastic”

is this that Twice guy, maybe

I was wondering what you were up to, yes. good catch there

“THIS MAN STARTS HIS MORNINGS A LITTLE MORE HARD-BOILED THAN MOST.” yes, the really hardcore way to start your day is to hate people from windows

holy shit this ominous fucking chapter! right from the get go!

“unleashed.” and the text underneath: “a world where All Might is not coming”

I’m thinking it’s safe to say the villains are winding down from their little break

I’m so curious how Tomura is doing. prediction: still crazy

the narration is saying that the news networks and Internet are constantly buzzing with “idle chatter fanning the flames of anxiety”

jesus christ this is so similar to the real-world climate in the last few years. anxiety and fear-mongering

oh shit the newspeople are talking about Endeavor

depends on whether you’re the type who can accept assholes who beat their wife and kid

(I personally am not)

they’re being really polite about it, but they’re saying that you can’t help but contrast him against All Might

he’s “coarse”

“he just looks like an ordinary person pretending to be a superhuman” I’ll take it a step further; he looks like an asshole not even trying particularly hard to pretend he’s a nice guy. and yeah, he’s strong, but not even in the same realm that All Might was

oh my god it’s a list of top “Moogle” searches for Endeavor. this is the most 2010s shit I’ve ever seen in a manga omggggg

yeahhhh, public opinion is just not on this guy’s side. and good riddance

basically he’s become “the symbol of weakening heroes.” exactly. I feel like all these people must just be like, “is this really the best we can do now omg”

is Endeavor Donald fucking Trump

this is one of the best chapter openers I can recall reading in a long time. there’s something fascinating about watching a well-established fictional world get shaken up and seeing how the people of that world respond. it’s reminding me a little of the post-Goblet of Fire Harry Potter universe. and why do I have a feeling that by the time this series ends, we’ll have progressed all the way to Deathly Hallows in terms of grittiness

the narration is continuing and saying that just as All Might brought hope to everyday citizens, his presence was a curse to villains

and now that curse has been lifted, so “it’s no surprise at all that it’d turn out this way”

and it’s showing some guy robbing an ATM or something. not sure what he’s carrying, but anyways he’s busting through a wall looking happy and deranged

now a pro hero is showing up to stop him

but another villain is cracking the back of the hero’s head with a huge metal pipe

and two more villains are waiting over by their getaway truck

nice Tarantino reference there. bold and unsubtle and in-your-face

and the narration is talking about how villains are feeling more emboldened and more free to run around without fear of consequence. and that the more daring they get, the more villains they inspire in turn, and it goes on and on. “running a red light isn’t scary if everyone does it with you”

we’re seeing the exact same thing happen irl nowadays with racists and nazis and the alt-right and such, aren’t we. my escapist manga is really starting to hit close to home here

now Twice is getting a call from someone

isn’t this the guy who introduced Toga and Dabi to Tomura

damn, manga, you’re really going to make me go all the way back to like chapter sixty-something to check this. fine

yep, it is. chapter 68

he says that in the past two weeks there’s been a surge of black market requests for things like suits and related items

he says it’s all thanks to the League of Villains

really it’s thanks to one specific villain that did all the work and is now imprisoned though. just saying. though no doubt he won’t mind Tomura getting the credit

anyway so Twice is asking why the broker guy called him

probably cuz Toga got Deku’s blood, so now the gang is getting back together to hatch some more schemes

yep

so Twice is like yeah of course I heard, and the broker dude is like okay catch you later then

gotta say, I was already fond of Twice just as a funny and eccentric (you have no idea how much my brain struggled to find an adjective to use in place of “quirky” there, but needless to say I wouldn’t have been able to keep a straight face otherwise) character. but it’s pretty damn fascinating to witness his psyche on display now as well

apparently the League has been separated and scattered for a little while, both to lie low and to scout for more people to join the group

and now we’re cutting to Dabi and he’s just roasting some poor dudes alive

damn son

oh shit what’s happening to Twice

this guy is soooo weird

he says his quirk is “doubling.” “I make one into two”

okay. I don’t get it at all, but

-- WHOA

IS THIS THE FUCKING PRESTIGE OR WHAT. AND WASN’T THIS ALSO A PLOTLINE IN FUCKING CALVIN AND HOBBES

he says each of the clones claimed to be the real one (by “real” I assume “original”) and they started arguing and eventually they all killed each other

and he’s not sure even now whether he’s actually the “real” him

holy shit I would read an entire book about this guy. I want David Fincher to direct a movie about him

it seems like he’s not even really that evil, it’s just that he’s so crazy that the league was the only place he could find that would accept him. “what I was searching for were others who are just as crazy as I am”

I would read a spinoff manga about Twice and his existential nightmare of an existence, trufax. this is so compelling I almost forgot about the fact that we’re thirteen pages into this chapter and so far it’s been all villains and no U.A. kids

-- what the fuck

IS THAT THE GUY FROM EARLIER?? WHO ROBBED THE ATM???

(answer: yes, I just went back and looked)

WHY IS HIS FUCKING HEAD HERE?? IS THIS HIS QUIRK OR SOMETHING MORE HORRIFYING THAN THAT

farewell Reservoir Dogs. you had a brief and uneventful run culminating in THE MOST HORRIFYINGLY GRUESOME SCENE I’VE EVER SEEN SHOUNEN JUMP ALLOW IN THEIR FUCKING MAGAZINE. NOT ONLY WAS IT INDEED HIS FUCKING HEAD, I COUNT LIKE SEVEN OF HIS AND HIS FRIENDS’ OTHER BODY PARTS MORBIDLY STREWN ABOUT AND ROASTING ON THIS OPEN FUCKING FLAME. dude what the fuck

oh boy here we go

now his buddy in a raincoat -- and they all have the same plague doctor masks on btw -- is saying he took the money and let’s get out of here

he’s calling the “YOU GUYS HAVE AN ILLNESS” dude “Overhaul.” okay I’ll admit that’s a pretty badass villain name

and Twice is watching them all like, “oh. more maniacs”

so I’m guessing he’s going to recruit these guys lol

the narration says that both the heroes and villains’ sides have begun to undergo changes in appearance. well, we’ve seen a lot of the heroes’ side of things so far so I guess it’s nice to take a break from that and see what the villains have been up to

is this the prison??

OH SHIT!!!!!

WHAT IS HE DOING COMING OVER THERE TO TALK TO HIM OH MY GOD

“THE DISCUSSION WITH THE BIG BOSS IS ABOUT TO BEGIN” [FRANTICALLY CLICKS TO THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!]

-- except no, damn it, because I gotta check out the bonus page first :/

bonus

...actually the bonus page is just Horikoshi being excited that there are now two spinoff series. apparently he’s a fan of Illegals. I do want to check that out (especially since he just said Eraserhead has a cameo in it omgggg), but like hell if you think I’m clicking away from this main story just yet. I still have 85 chapters to go and it’s not like things are exactly getting boring omg

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bubaigawara jin #twice (bnha)#dabi #chisaki kai #overhaul (bnha)#all for one #makeste reads bnha #merry christmas everyone #please enjoy this surprisingly violent and disturbing chapter and its dystopian ambiance #I found it surprisingly enjoyable myself #mostly because I love twice so fucking much #I know he's a fucking villain but dammit I can't help rooting for him #he's just so great

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thekrazykeke · 6 years

Photo

I love this man. To be honest, I’ma hoe for all of them men in Black Panther, so it’s whatever. Every single one of them can get it, and I don’t even know who I want to take me first, Erik or T’Challa? ....Hm, both. Both is good. This chapter is potentially, likely, triggering for some people. Please read this with caution and know that my inbox and IM is always open, for anyone, at any time.

You’re not bothering me. Never think you are bothering me.

Continued from here, boo.

The minute the apartment door swung open, your eyes snap to Nadia’s face, and you see it, the bruise the size of a fist swelling up her right eye.

“Where is he?”

“Let’s talk inside.” Nadia’s hand on yours is firm as she tugged you in, using her hair to shield the bruise from view; the motion too familiar, practiced. The organ in your chest throbbed with pain and you think you’re about to have a panic attack or something.

"Where is that nigga, is he here?” Your hands clench then unclench, and you can’t focus on one thing, eyes darting around the room, categorizing how the living room is trashed; broken glass shards sprinkled everywhere, TV broken, a hole or two punched in the walls.

It’s a mess.

“Calm down, Y/N.” Nadia says, voice entirely too calm, nonchalant.

“Is. That. Nigga. Here?” You enunciate each word forcefully, eyes widened and crazed, angry.

“He not here. Simmer down already, shit.” Exhausted already by the conversation, she flopped down on the couch. “I called you because I needed your advice.”

“Waterboard that no good ass nigga.” You immediately suggest, taking a seat beside her.

“What, no. That’s,” she laughs, “That’s crazy. Y/N, stop it. Be serious.”

You aren’t laughing. “I’m deadass. I know somebody who know somebody. They’ll snatch that bitch nigga up off the street, rough his punk ass up, and--”

Nadia couldn’t listen anymore. “I’m the one who started it by spitting in his face!”

“...The fuck. Why would you do that?” Almost always joking, Nadia wasn’t somebody who deliberately provoked people, or at least, she didn’t start something she couldn’t slick-talk her way out of. “Spitting on people is nasty, yo.”

“He dared me to do it. And I was just...” Sighing explosively, she ran her fingers through her hair. “...I found a pregnancy test in the bathroom trash, and I know it ain’t yours. You barely here, for one, and I can’t see you or Erik being that careless.”

And you had an IUD, but still. Making a motion for her to continue, "So the muthafucka got his side bitch pregnant, and you got pissed.”

For the next half hour, you listen to her with a sympathetic ear as she told you that for a long time, things had been rocky between Travis and herself. He had not intentions of settling down -- with her, though he loved to lead her on with a carrot-stick maneuver and saying he might, he might, he might, while fucking around on her. He knew about the hookup she’d had with Erik and all the other times, with other people, while they’d been on a break. According to Nadia, the guy even made fun of her naivety in thinking he’d marry ‘a woman whose legs were always wide open’. The hypocritical dipshit.

That’s why she spat on him.

Couldn’t really blame her for that, not really.

“The girl he got pregnant, she’s only twenty one, Y/N. Twenty one...”, Shaking her head, Nadia laughed.

“Hey, hey, hey.” As tears stung her eyelashes and her voice wobbled, you reached out, pulling her towards you for a half hug. “It’s okay. Fuck that dude, aigh’t? I know people say it all the time, but you are going to find someone and be happy.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. You are a phenomenal woman and someone is going to recognize you for your worth. Don’t let some idiot take that away from you. You hear me?” Hot tears warmed your shirt and you rocked her gently. “It’s okay. It’s okay, I promise.”

“I ain’t got nobody no more...”

“It’s okay...”

Honestly, after that whole experience, you were drained. The thought of going out and being sociable, it made the hairs on the nape of your neck stand on end. Nadia wasn’t hearing that though.

“B i t c h! This is an important milestone in your relationship. Meeting a family member?” Shaking her head, an ice pack over the swollen area, she gave you a thumbs up and painfully sincere smile, “Girl, if I was you, I wouldn’t have even brought my thick ass over here to deal with my bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit, Nadia.” You interjected, for the fiftieth time. “You my friend and you needed me. Case closed.”

“Whatever. I’m good. I’m gonna sit here and try and figure out who I can pay off to try and fix these damages before the landlord see this shit.” Tilting her head back, she sank more comfortably into the couch. “Forreal, you should go. See what’s good wit Erik and this mystery family member, actually find out what Erik does for a living. I’m betting it’s something physical. His arms hella strong.”

“Bitch.” You elbow her gently.

“What? I’ma single pringle now, so I can look,” Nadia said defensively. “It’s not like he would notice me anyway. The nigga got eyes for you only. It’s cute as fuck, keeping it one hunned.” Although you didn’t want to leave Nadia alone, she took your cellphone and texted Erik to come get you.

When he came to pick you up, she all but shoved you out the door.

“You still gon do this wit me, right? Meeting my cuz?” Erik could tell what was up immediately. “I can reschedule, it ain’t nothing.”

And he would, you realized, he cared for your personal comfort more than what his cousin would think. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, hands finding the nape of his neck, you tilt your head up and he took the hint, kissing you. “You don’t have to reschedule. So, where is this dinner taking place?”

Turns out that it’s the Queen’s Cove, the most expensive hotel in the area. Some of the most important political figures and celebrities stayed there. Fuck, even Obama and Michelle had spent two nights there! You were internally spazzing out, mind going one hundred miles an hour, wondering exactly who Erik’s cousin was, who Erik was--

‘I’ll find out tonight. To-night. OMG. That’s not enough time! Holy fucking shit! Oh. mah. Gawd. Chill, Y/N. Just. chill.’

Calling up every ounce of zen in your body that you had, you manage to smile at Erik who’s eyeing you warily, probably catching the goofy, weird expressions you’d made while wigging out.

"Clothes, we both need new clothes.” You say decisively.

“I don’t really--”

“Nigga, bring ya ass on!”

“Aigh’t already, damn!”

After an exhausting rest of the afternoon spent looking for the perfect outfit, Erik dropped you off at your favorite salon to get your hair and nails done. It was a last minute walk in appointment and Chantay wasn’t the happiest seeing you -- until she saw the amount of money you were paying her. While she worked her magic, you and Breanna texted back and forth, with y’all going through potential jobs and reasons for all this mystery and secrecy that Erik was doing.

Bre also promised that she would send Dre to put Travis in check asap. Then the topic changed once again when she sent you the link to an article about the Wakandan king, T’Challa.

Apparently he was slated for a press conference tomorrow morning?

‘She so dumb, but I love her silly ass.’ Smiling faintly, you replied that yes, the king was pretty fione, but he was a little too lean for your tastes. You ain’t want a man that didn’t know how to handle all your thickness. You cracked up laughing when she sent you a poop emoji, murmuring an apology when Chantay told you to keep still.

Once that appointment is concluded, the two of y’all took note of the limo waiting outside.

The. Limo.

GSLKDHFSKFLJSD!!!

“Y/N?” Neither of y’all utter a word. So he tries again, “Y/N Y/L/N? Is that you, ma’am?” The driver asked, professional and relaxed, unruffled, by the fact that he’s being gaped at.

“That’s me.” You reply weakly. He opened the door for you.

“I got the license plate number in case you go missing.” Chantay whispered out the corner of her mouth. Placing a hand over your heart, you throw up a peace sign and she waved, removing a cigarette from behind her ear and lit it.

Question after question flew through your brain. You wanted to touch everything but at the same time, it was important to show some class. He drops you off at the apartment where you quickly shower, moisturize, and change (Nadia is gone but where you don’t know and have no time to find out), and when you come back out, the few people lingering around eye you with appreciation, curiousity and lust.

The drive to the Queen’s Cove is completely silent but you don’t care. This feels like some straight up black Cinderella-out-the-hood type stuff.

The next time the car pulls to a stop and the door opens, it’s Erik who’s reaching a hand out to you. Without hesitation, you take his hand and he helps you out of the limo, appraising you with hungry eyes. Although your inner mantra is that you’re in public and this is indecent, especially for a place this fancy, you give him a once over too.

“Damn baby, you lookin’ like a whole snack.”

Cracking a smile, because regardless, Erik gon be Erik, you let him kiss the corner of your mouth, so close to your lips. “Mmhm, you look handsome too, baby. Let’s go meet your cousin.”

“You right, you right.” There’s a distracted air about him and he can’t stop looking at you.

Admittedly, that swells your ego. That floaty feeling carries you through what might have been an epic freak out and meltdown because again, there were celebrities and politicians milling about, everything looked expensive.

Fuck, even the air smelled rich!

The maitre d’ led y’all to a private booth/sitting area in the far back, not easily noticed by other people. And there, already seated... Is the King of Wakanda. T’Challa Udaku.

“Cousin! There’s bobotie on the menu!” Eyebrows raising, you glanced at Erik pointedly, but he merely pulled out the chair for you. The whole ass king, T’Challa, put down the menu only to smile at you brightly, “Oh! I am so rude. Hello. You are Erik’s woman, yes?”

“I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you, Your Highness.” You said primly, about to raise up and possibly mangle an attempt at a curtsey, but Erik’s hand on the nape of your neck keeps you seated, the gesture effortlessly casual, but intimate.

“Please, there are no need for titles. Did you not tell her that, cousin?” Erik sat down too. “...Oh, Bast, he did not tell you that.” T’Challa, the king of an African nation, frowned. “N’Jadaka...”

“N-who?” Your brows furrowed.

T’Challa sighed and Erik eyeballed him, expression annoyed. “Bruh, don’t come at me like that! What with yo bitch ass Council putting that gag order on a nigga, what could I tell her but the kiddy shit?”

“Um...” You try to speak up.

“The conference is tomorrow, cousin. You could have informed her at least two weeks in advance.”

“You think I’m slow or some shit? Like I can’t read, muthafucka? Of course I know it’s tomorrow! I brought her down her to meet yo cornball ass, but we can bounce if you gon be on some other--”

THUMP!

Slamming your fist into the table, ignoring the throbbing pain searing through the appendage, you glared at them both. “If both y’all grown ass men don’t start actin’ like y’all mofos got some sense and recognize we in public, right now...” You say through gritted teeth.

“Sorry, baby.” Erik mumbled.

“My apologies, Y/N.”

After that, the tension faded away. The dinner felt relaxed and normal, like you were eating out with ya man and another brother or something. During that dinner though, Erik explained that he was a prince, third in line for the throne to Wakanda. The two of them made some questionable quips and remarks that bordered on being too dark, and you were most certainly going to be talking to Erik about that later.

Erik, that wasn’t even his real name.

It’s N’Jadaka Udaku.

There’s something beautiful about the way the vowels rolled off your tongue and N’Jadaka, likes when you use it. Oh, yeah, he definitely liked the way you say his name, if his hand on your thigh underneath the table is any indication, the slow circles he’s rubbing into the satin smooth brown skin, teasing you.

“Hi! I’m Mitchell and this is Cassandra, and we--”

Oh. No.

It feels like the bottom of your stomach has fallen out. You are half afraid to even look up and see if they’re as close as you fear, but when you flick your eyes to the right, yes. Yes they are, right here.

Waiters.

Ha!

Right now, they’re pestering T’Challa, asking if he wants a refill of his drink, and you glance at ya man, trying to non-verbally signal to him that we had to get the fuck outta dodge before they noticed us. And either he was just horny or he got the message, probably the former, but he was about to get up when Cassandra turned and finally noticed us.

Shit!

“Y/N! Hi! Oh, goodness. This is such a coincidence, running into you and your beau again. I told Mitchell that I saw you at my other job and he didn’t believe me at all.”

Somehow, you manage to smile, “Such a...small world.”

There’s a pregnant pause. “Erik! Hi, hello!” Again, she offered her hand for a shake.

He ignored her outstretched hand. “This is a private dinner. Family only.”

Mitchell snorted, his handsome features twisting into a sneer. “Family? Y/N? No way. I grew up with the girl, that’s straight ghetto--”

Cassandra elbowed her hubby abruptly. “Honey.”

“Nah, let him finish his sentence.” Erik took a swallow of wine, finishing off the glass. “‘Straight ghetto’, what?”

“I was going to say that Y/N and her family are an...unscrupulous bunch.” Lying through his teeth, Mitchell plastered a smile onto his lips, though his eyes are bitter, cruel. Jealous. “It’s very unfit for her to be sitting next to, and dining with, royalty.”

T’Challa raised a finger, “Forgive me for sounding uncultured in this. English is not my first language and I have not been to America often,” It’s clear, if only to you and Erik, that he’s downplaying his own intellect, he’d talked circles around you about a lot of topics and explained things without making you feel stupid. “But I believe you are insulting not only myself, and by extension, all of Wakanda, you are also insulting my own cousin, a prince, and his choice of female companion? Y/N is quite a lovely and intelligent, funny, woman, after all.”

“I agree! I so agree!” Cassandra nodded her head vigorously. “Y/N and I, we were friends once upon a time ago in college.”

Unable to stand all this double talking and hypocrisy, your mouth opened, “Bitch, when?” You sounded so done at the moment. “Is it after you caught a case of jungle fever and decided that you were finished fucking Tim, who went on to become a famous country singer by the way, and chose this light bright nigga to be your Negro husband? I bet you were very disappointed that the rumor of all black men having big dicks isn’t true.”

Cassandra paled, standing there, gaping at you. Mitchell, however, absolutely exploded. “You ghetto ass dirty hoodrat bi--”

One right hook and an uppercut and Mitchell hit the floor with a pained grunt. Erik put his foot on his chest, keeping him in place. “I’m from Oakland, California, straight up out the hood, my nigga. Erik Stevens, ask about me.” Grinding his heel into his chest for a few more seconds, he stepped over him, “Let’s get the fuck up outta here.”

“Yoink.” You grab the bottle of wine, patting Cassandra’s shoulder ‘comfortingly’. “I’ll just take this for the road. Since we such good friends, you got me, right? Right. I’ll holla at you on Facebook, boo boo.” With a wave of your fingers, you accept Erik’s hand, smiling big and pretty, especially when he adjusted his grip so that his arm is around your waist, headed for the exit.

“Bill me for any damages, yes?” Smiling a camera ready smile, T’Challa dipped his head in farewell to Cassandra, accidentally stepping on Mitchell’s hand and followed after his wayward cousin and date.

Once y’all are outside, embarrassment overtakes you and you’re about to apologize to T’Challa but he only wagged a finger and smiled. “It was very good fun tonight. I almost thought you were too timid for my cousin but you have such a vibrant personality, Y/N.”

You look at the ground then away from him, unable to keep eye contact at the sincerity in his tone. “Careful, nigga, or you and me gon go round three for you flirting with my girl.” Erik joked, tilting your chin up a little to kiss your forehead.

T’Challa shook his head and chuckled, “Take care of each other and stay out of trouble, eh.”

Then y’all go y’all’s separate ways. Erik and you get in the limo, while a fierce, bald lady opens the door to a sleek sports car, and T’Challa gets in that. Both vehicles take off in opposite directions. You reach for Erik’s hand and he holds your hand in his lap, his thumb tracing circles around the pulse point, a pensive expression on his face. You want to know what’s up but you also are afraid to know what’s bothering him, secretly figuring that it’s you and the drama that follows you around like a bad smell.

When the limo drops y’all off at his crib, he immediately strips of the outfit, carelessly dropping the items of clothing onto the floor and elsewhere, motions agitated. You follow after him silently, carefully following his lead. The two of you shower together but he doesn’t touch you, or make any lewd comments. He gives you some clothes to sleep in and you think that y’all aren’t going to talk about the elephant in the room when he turns his back to you, and reluctantly, you turn so that you’re facing away from him too.

Only twenty minutes of this and you think you’re going crazy.

You’re about to get the fuck outta dodge when he speaks, “I need...I need to tell you somethin’.” Heart sinking in your chest, you try to turn around but he holds you in place, apparently not wanting you to look at him while he tells you...whatever he needs to tell you.

Pretty sure you were prepared for anything than what he told you about his life before he and you started sleeping together and became a couple. The uncensored version of who Erik Steven is...or rather, who he had been.

Killmonger.

All of it.

You’d like to think you were a tough as nails type of bitch, but that story had you crying hard as shit. Whether for N’Jobu, N’Jadaka, or T’Challa and his father. Or Erik’s victims...it’s a mystery.

You just hurt.

“I couldn’t...couldn’t keep hiding what I done. I mean, I could, but tonight, if anything, proved that all that shit tends to come out one way or the other. And I wanted you to hear it from me, not nobody else.” He swallowed. “I ain’t gon be mad or, or, stop you if you choose to leave me. I understand.”

The next time you attempted to turn around, he didn’t stop you. Legs on either side of his chest, hands resting on his abdomen, you stared down at him with red and puffy eyes. “If I got up right now to leave, would you choke me out, smack me, or shoot me in the head?”

He cleared his throat, blinking rapidly, eyes suspiciously bright, “No.”

“Do you have any plans to cheat on me?”

“Fuck no.”

“Couples fight, they argue. That shit is normal. I might get mad and say some hurtful things, or you might be the one to do all that. We might yell at each other. That is normal. What I won’t accept is being made into Boo-Boo the Fool when you get mad and feel you have to prove what a man you are, then cheat on me with another bitch.

I won’t be your punching bag or doormat. I am your woman, more than that, I’m somebody daughter, they sister.

I’ve got too much respect for myself to let any of that foolishness go on. I will drop yo ass wit the quickness and cross the street to avoid speaking to you for years, if necessary.” Pausing, you take a breath, letting your words sink in.

“Do you understand?”

Erik’s cautiously rests his hands on your hips. “I understand that, and I respect it. But I’m asking you to please, don’t throw that shit I told you in my face if you get mad. Ion care bout nun else but don’t do me dirty like that, Y/N. I’m tryin’ my best, baby girl.”

Baby girl. Oooh fuck, that nickname did things to you. You needed to get your hormones under control, bih, this is a serious moment! “’Kay.” You say, voice quiet, and you bite your bottom lip.

He seemed to sense the turn in your attitude because he soon leaned up and kissed you open mouthed and nasty, squeezing your ass cheeks, the boy shorts you wore offering little to no protection from Erik’s groping hands, “You gon let me fuck you now, ain’tchu, baby girl?”

Oh, this bastard. Moaning yessssss, you don’t resist when he yanks off the shirt you wore, accidentally tearing it a little before flinging it away, then yanked off the booty shorts, shoving his boxers down just enough to free his cock, teasing your wet pussy folds before pushing in alllll the way inside you.

“You mines, you my baby girl, you gon stay wit me.” The words are quietly delivered every time he fucks up into you, and your eyes screw shut, breaths coming quick. “Say it.” A particularly hard roll of his hips punches the breath out of you, “I can stay like this all night.”

And you know he can, he would, tease you, the both of you, until he gets what he wants. “I’m yours, your baby g-girl,” Erik sucked at your throat, intent on leaving a hickie. “I’m not gon leave you.”

It’s like your words flipped a switch or something because he’s switching positions so that you’re beneath him and he’s fucking you nice and slow. Then again, this doesn’t really feel like fucking. It’s not rough or quick, with spankings or some choking. Whatever it is, it’s intense, and the way he’s looking at you, the way he kisses your shoulder, murmuring how good your pussy feels, and other sweet, perverse things, eventually sends you over the edge. You don’t deny it when he mutters, “You my baby girl...” Right in your ear just before he pushes inside you as far as he can go, filling you with his cum.

After all, it’s not like he’s wrong; you are his.

#mcu #erik killmonger #mcu imagine #erik killmonger imagine #black reader #black panther #marvel #black panther imagine #marvel imagine #erik killmonger x reader #thekrazykeke

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maiverie · 2 years

Note

ok mai i FINALLY gather some proper time to send u an ask over triage and just a warning over my screams. i might start to get a little crazy over here!!!! don't mind me simping for nerd!heeseung and his lil cutesy specs 🙆‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤣

first of all: THIS. CHAPTER. WAS. EVERYTHING (and im not exaggerating im hella serious im even wearing my glasses for this— again serious🧐) CUZ EXCUSE ME DID LEE NERDY AND DORKY HEESEUNG JUST GAVE OUR YN A RIDE HOME ON HIS BIKE????????? AND HE BOUGHT AN EXTRA HELMET AND ALL THE NECESSARY EQUIPMENT??⁉️⁉️ lord i ask ME WHEN⁉️😭 the way he just approached her, then went full on concerned over an accident was sjwjwmekdodoxccene ok i took a few rereadings cuz of the cuteness overload 😿💔 truly heartwarming i felt the simple teenage romance fluff from here AND I LOVE IT‼😭

ryunjin was an ass this time but i dont even bother the bullshit she and terry play around at this point im way too focused on the main ship and how its SAILING MY FRIENDS ITS SAILING MY MANIFESTATIONS WORKED MY PLEAS WERE HEARD!!!!!🙏😭 (also heeseung's cousin was??? like homegirl know ur damn place here WHO even asked u to talk shit ab ur cousin at least im sure he's smarter than u 🙄)

the whole tutoring process of how to date w heeseung has been so sososo *LOUD SCREAM OF IM SO SINGLE AND THIS IS MAKING ME WANNA HAVE MY OWN CUTE NERD* ‼🗣🗣🗣🗣

i cant get over the fact their relationship truly blossomed??? now yn spends time w him and ditches parties to hear him ramble over anything he wants? she makes him laugh and then laughs with him? he makes her laugh too? they make each other smiley and send texts all day? they go to aesthetic cafe's and just again cuteness overload⁉️😭 THEN HE ASKED HER TO BE HIS DATE TO THE WEDDING IM— i had to take a walk, around my room yk? pace back and forth lock unlock my phone cuz heeseung just said THAT???? HE WANTED TO CONSIDER YN HIS FIRST OFFICIAL DATE? AND HE CALLED HER PRETTY? IN HIS CAR NOW NOT THE BIKE???? BUT NOT THAT WE WOULD MIND CUZ IT COULD A NASTY CORNER IN A RANDOM STREET AND I WOULD STILL SIMP UR HONOR I WOULD SIMP‼🗣

the ending. im in shambles. lee heeseung u fucking nerd i just want u to smooch ur girl and ask her in marriage already 😭😭😭😭 im twisting and turning around🤸‍♀️ running laps for this series UR NOTIFICATIONS LITERALLY MAKE ME SO SIAKAS I GET ALL GIGGLY!!!!

mai ure the best author indeed ‼🗣💗 ur writing makes me ascend in how perfect it is, ur brain amazes me hella fucking tons cuz damn ur ideas are so incredible 😭😭😭😭 I LOVE UR WORKS SO DAMN MUCH 😿💗 i also saw ur wip list and, ok. im. LOSING W A BADBOY HEESEUNG UPCOMING FIC??????? ARE U RLLY GONNA MAKE US ENGENES TRIP SO BAD AGAIN????MAI 😭😭😭😭 ur jake and hoon fics also sounding sooooo addictive already im set for when it comes PLS TAG ME ‼🙏 i will scream sm u will have to block me or sum cuz i will lose my mind in this app!!🤣🤣

this ask got super long im so sorry but triage!heeseung just makes me 🤸‍♀️💔😭😿🗣🤪🙆‍♀️ if that makes some sort of sense? gosh i need to touch grass 💔 mai pls place heeseung as a warning next time 🙏 istg i won't survive the next update 🤣🤣🤣

⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ SKY BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS😁😁⁉️‼️😭😭 IM ACTYALLY SCREAMIMG RN STOP IM GNA YELLLLLLL 😭😭😭

NO BC I SAW UR RB AND UR REPLY AND EVERYHTING AND I WANTED TO HUG U SO BAD i literally forgot to fucking reply to ur rb🧍🏻‍♀️ mai jail time??? i think so 😁 U TOTALLY DIDNT HAVE TO WRITE THIS WTF 😫😫 WHY DO I feel SO BAD FOR MAKING U WRITE OUT SMTH SO LOKG IM ACTYALLY CRYING SKY STOP

SKY IN SPECS??? YEP IM GNA NEED A PICTURE OF THIS 🤨 BUT NO fr TYANK U SM FOR READING IM LITERALLY SO SO SO OVERJOYED THAT U LIKED IT???? no LITERALLY BC triage is just a whole teenage romcom atp like it’s so cringe i have no idea why u be reading this shit when THIS SIMP ASS SPEC WEARING LITTLE DWEEB OUT HERE DRIVING A MF PINK BIKE??? ONE W STREAMERS COMING OUT THE HANDLES???? nah cause we already been knew he gets absolutely ZERO pussy but i rlly wanted to accentuate that this chapter 😇😇😇 SKY IF U RLLY BE LIKING THESE TYPES OF BOYS THEN I TRULY CANNOT DEFEND U ANYMORE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ur honor please feed her to the wolves 🧎‍♀️

fr tho as much as i give triage!hee shit for being a dork,,,, ryujin and taehyun r not the vibes THEY RLLY AINT SHIT 🗣 AND OH EM GEEEE YESSSS U GOT IT THEYRE SUCH SIMPS FOR EACH OTHER NOW ;-; their little friendship is honestly smth i want so so so so bad with heeseung like WHY AM I CONVINCED HE’D JUST BE THE BESTEST FRIEND EVER IM YELLING I HATE MY LIFE 😭😭 LORD PLEASE GIVE ME A BOY THAT TEXTS ME DURING CLASS AND LETS ME DRAG HIM TO CAFES ☹️☹️

NAAAUURRRRRRRR U LITERALLY GIVE ME WAY TOO MUCH CREDIT SND EVERY TIME U DO IM FR ASCENDING???? HEARING THESE WORDS FEOM U OF ALL PEOPLE??? ABSOLUTELY CRIMINAL SOMEBody PINCH ME 😭 AND JWDKKDS NAURRR NOT U LOOKING AT MY WIPS HELP IM CRINGING SJFKEKXKXKS BUT YES YES YES can u tell im so sick of dweeb heeseung bc now im going full devil KSJDKSK I LOVE TSUNDERE/BAD BOY AUS SM 😭😭 AND BFFIE ARE U SURE U WANT TO BE TAGGED OMG??? ONLY THING IM EXCITED FOR IS THIS MF SKY FEATURE IN THR JUNGWON FIC‼️ CANT WAIT EHFJKDFKKDKDD

BAHDHDJSJHAJSJSAK PLEASE NAUR I LOVE UR ASKS SM LIKE THEY CAN NEVER BE TOO LONG 😭😭😭 GIRL NAUR I FEEL SO BAD U TOTALLY DONT NEED TO FEEL OBLIGED TO SEND AN ASK IN OR ANYTHING I HOPE U KNOW THAY BFFIE 🥰🥰🥰 BUT ILYSM THANK YOU SOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH FOR READING AND IM LITERALLY SO ECSTATIC THAT U ENJOYED IT???? next update kinda whack u may or may not hate me for it 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️ BUT ILY

#ask #@ : blessedsky ♡︎#[ bestest moot sky ♡(˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶) ]#moots ☽

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the-firebird69 · 3 years

Text

Corky is running off the mouth again no he's found something to do they're running to holes still and they're going after Necromonger ships because they're in charge of making the Dead live huge numbers of them too are planning on attacking Helios which is Australia is in the lower it is in the dogma it's in the matrix movie it's in the Bible and it is set in their brains and they're prepping to do so and they say also the dumb things to people.

Thor Freya

So Corky's like you don't get a bike you don't get one of these Hard knocks and he said what about John C Riley's bike he's not really one of you but he looks like you so we'll probably take his bike and get it over to you if you don't mind I said yeah but it's better to be a new condition but how else we supposed to get it there used probably not so we have to disguise it so we can have someone fix it and Mac might do that he says anyways you think it's an idea cuz he's in our face with these things saying I know what it's for we have to this kind of thing actually it's because he's able to text Cobb he's sort of one of us he's not so we can sacrifice him kind of

Cork

That's it he's been so mean to us this whole time and that's it you're going to get John C Riley's bike and have him buy it from him and that's it no fanfare can't see Riley and him have been in odds for a long time and sort of friends I just saw them he was like flipping them off and stuff so we're going to go ahead and get this done and get that bike fixed up as a new bike and sold to him and the cheapest way possible in a box as a 50cc licensed and registered so I can set Randall text Cobb loose on him to get his bike back if this backfire so help me God

Jason

There's some conviction for you let me tell you something $2,000 is a lot of money to him and takes away some of his cushion so you might be less of an a****** here which is funny because it's not true he's doing that because he gets to save money if he does I have no idea it works that way to get this bike will probably backfire on us but we're going to do it because it has to be done I guess he's Randall takes cab the guy with the baby in the Harley and cigars and the shotgun and the hand grenades and there's nothing better than that they're just isn't it's real Jack Daniels whiskey or nothing tonight

Brad

Swelling Southern comfort but that's okay Brad this guy's got to pay it'll pay because Randall text put him in the figure four before and that's what we need

bjA

You're an idiot Brian don't you know enough to stay dead

Hera Zues

We're going after your country and that's right Australia I'm going to go down there and mess you up you won't talk back to us like you always do

Bja

Okay Brian it's time for your medicine

Zues Hera

That's what it's about you laughing hyenas John C Reilly

That's what I'm talking about that's why it's funny it's the way he says it Sammy Hagar

Less funny the way you said it that's funny too Sammy Hagar hahaha

We rock I don't even put 5150 into a CD players and cassettes and everything else we have whatever that thing is on the stick little iPod thing I'm going to go up to John C Reilly store make sure he's working on his bike hit the specs right it's kind of look like a new hard knock from the website bobber style that would be her let's get a move on just getting John C Reilly this guy is all over me get down the shop and fix my bike up you're insane I better get some beer okay so I'm going to do this so damn idea that's motivating me and say that you're one of us and we're off though you have some rational thought end up doing nothing so we're going to get it done cuz you can see you're making faces he doesn't think we will it's actually true he doesn't think we will

Cork

We don't think you will either because there's nobody at John C rather shop telling him to fix his bike up but it's a good idea because John would probably do that to do that but you won't because you're a lazy person and you don't really care to have him scooting around on the scooter cuz you want to bottle him up here and we can't have you do that cuz you make him sick that's all you do so I'm going to start hitting you really cuz you're a liar and a weakling

Thor Freya

But I understand is true they're like bothering me the way that's annoying it's another do it or not to it and I can't stand it it's like how do you make a decision to do it or you don't or stay home so probably going to start prepping it now cuz I can't do anything else and he says usually that's the feeling you get cuz they want you to feel and know that you're the one who's not doing it but you're doing it for them I understand that and I guess I'll lose it no so the man they're trying again it's going to go on all day like this probably to take me just an hour or two that's probably going to take 10 years and you're right I'll have to replace all the bearings and all the bolts everything are moving parts it's going to be terrible cuz it'll have to do have to get a paint job going might as well tear it all down it's true too tear it all down replace all the bolts all the bearings rebuild the motor and replace it he says it's a lot easier it was the Sim in we'll start to rebuild it they don't want a week motor going out. True true Sim bikes and they don't want a week motor going out and I can try and figure out how to make it stronger and faster people are already helping. Make our own they say and we know how to do it and we're on it and we're going to come down and help you do it this is a great idea and someone had it before and he thinks it was John C Reilly cuz he's got some sort of grudge to try and take his company back and plan to do this that's why cork is not helping sort of

John c Reilly

Cork

Mac

Hera Zues

Thor Freya

Olympus all this for a motor scooter it's amazing but you satanists will do just to do something stupid

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afterspark-podcast · 4 years

Text

Let’s Play Transformers War for Cybertron, Chapter 3 Transcript

Episode

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Into Music]

[The main menu for Transformers War for Cybertron displays.]

O: Hi, guys! Sooo, uh, we found out a thing last week. Um, they shut the servers for this game down, and you need the servers in order to play multiplayer. Soo... here’s what we’re gonna do. Ah, I’m gonna play, uh, and, uh, Specs and Chezni are going to provide commentary, probably while I’m making a fool of myself. And that’s how we’re gonna finish this damn- game dammit, because we are going to finish this. I started it, I wanna finish it.

C: A moment of silence for the Activision servers.

S: [sighs] Yup.

C: [laughs]

O: [laughs] Fuck you Activision.

S: [laughs]

O: I get it, just why can I not host a game or something!? I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. I’m just annoyed, because I was actually having fun playing multiplayer and I’m like, oh COME ON!

S: It was fun, I’d been looking forward to it.

O: Well, hopefully, you’ll still be somewhat amused by watching me play. Unfortunately, and I’m- I’m really sad, cause I was so happy, I was like, yay, Chezni’s going to play as Soundwave, because I refuse to play as Soundwave, cause he basically, has a healing gun, which is all but useless when you have like, computer allies. So I’m like, oh yay, Soundwave will get some love! Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

S: [laughs]

O: And I refuse to play as anybody that isn’t Megatron in the Decepticon campaign, if he’s available, because unlike most of the other guns, you cannot pick up the Fusion Cannon as a drop, I am using the damn Fusion Cannon.

S: Ah.

C: You can’t steal Megatron’s arm?

O: [laughs] No, but in the sequel game you can!

[Owls selects Campaign > Solo Campaign > Chapter Select.]

C: I’m pretty sure that’s wrong…

O: [laughs] Well, I mean why not, the man stole a Prime arm- er, a Prime’s arm in Transformers: Prime, did he not?

[Chapter III, Iacon Destroyed is selected.]

O: Alright, uh, wait- what chapter was it? Yeah, Iacon Destroyed.

[Owls clicks on the first checkpoint before immediately backing out and then clicking on it again. The character selection menu is displayed and she scrolls through the three available characters for the level, Megatron, Soundwave, and Breakdown.]

O: We are in Iacon Destroyed, uh, our three characters available are: Breakdown, Soundwave, and Megatron. And Soundwave, rather sadly, doesn’t like, have any way to use his cassettes when you’re playing as him. Which makes me sad.

S: Aww. That’s disapp-

O: Cuz he definitely- he definitely uses them to fight you later.

S: That’s disappointing. I would have liked to play with um, Breakdown.

O: Yeah.

C: Yess. Specs you- you’re with me in that you’re- you’re a big Breakdown fan, right? Oh, no, wait! This is Breakdown, not Knockout, sorry!

O: [laughs]

S: Well, I- I like both of them.

C: Is Knockout in this game?

O: No, not at all!

S: No.

O: Knockout was created wholesale for Prime. Like he’s not- he didn’t appear in anything before that.

S: Yeah.

O: Whereas Breakdown, even if Prime wasn’t out yet (which I don’t think it was) was a character that existed in G1.

S: Yes, he came out late in Season 2, and he was part of the Stunticons. And his personality quirk is that he’s very neurotic.

C: Heh.

S: Like, he thinks street lights are staring at him.

C & O: [laugh]

O: Wow, that was quite different in Prime, wasn’t it? [laughs]

C: Wow.

S: Well, that’s just in G1, he’s not paranoid about things in uh, Prime. Cuz he’s an entirely different character with a completely different origin- origin, probably. Though, a lot of people like to write him as originally being a member of the Stunticons.

O: Is it bad my brain sunk- just jumped straight to, “Well, it’s amazing how much less neurotic he is after getting boned for a couple million years, huh?”

A: [laugh]

S: Oh god, the fact that apparently Breakdown-

O: I’m just saying, somebody look at Knockout and tell me that boy don’t fuck. I’m just saying! [laughs]

S: Well, the fact that Knockout’s entire design philosophy was apparently, make him sexy.

O & S: [laugh]

C: [imitating TFP Starscream] “Oh, you’re one of those.”

O & S: [laugh]

O: Starscream, you have no room to talk! [laughs]

C & S: [laugh]

O: NOOO room! [laughs]

S: Now I kinda wanna go get out the Prime artbook, but this is not the time! So let’s get to the- let’s get to the game.

C: Right, right.

O: Let’s get to me blowing things up!

[Owls selects Megatron and the game goes to a loading screen, before opening up with a text crawl narrated, yet again, by Steve Blum.

Narrator: Hungry for more power.]

O: [quietly] Oh, thank fuck. It was so loud guys, it was so loud, and now it’s not! [Referring to the sound issues in the last couple of chapters. ~O]

[Narrator: Megatron plans to corrupt the very core of Cybertron itself with Dark Energon. But to do so, he must first find the Omega Key. Which will unlock the gateway to the core.]

O: Nothing bad can happen with this plan!

S: [sighs] Oh, Megatron. He wants-

[Narrator: Megatron launches a full scale assault on Iacon, capital city of the Autobots where the key is protected by Zeta Prime--leader of the Autobots.]

O: This is a terrible idea! Why does he think this is a good idea!?

S: He really wants the Space Crack.

O: I- I guess, but- but did he need to give it to the planet!? [laughs]

S: He wants to infect the planet with Space Crack to get more Space Crack.

O: Ah, so he needs a Space Crack generating machine.

[An in-game cinematic starts with a drop ship hovering close to the ground in what appears to be the middle of a city. Megatron, Soundwave, and Breakdown jump off the ship onto the ground below, while Starscream drops out of the ship, and floats a little above the group in robot mode.

Megatron: Starscream - continue forward and meet Zeta Prime’s armies on the front line!

Starscream: Have no fear, Lord Megatron! Under my leadership, Decepticon victory is assured!]

O: Oh, shut up.

[Megatron: Do not fail me!

Starscream transforms and flies off into the sky.

Breakdown: Why aren’t we joining the main battle, Megatron?

Megatron: While Starscream attacks Zeta Prime’s armies head on, we shall move behind enemy lines and obtain the Omega Key.

As Megatron talks, the camera view cuts back and forth between the three party members as well as the battle they’ve been dropped into. Around them Autobot and Decepticon forces are fighting each other.]

O: Because-

[Breakdown: The Omega what?]

O: -he basically, will be invisible.

[Soundwave: The Omega Key grants access to the Core of Cybertron.]

C: Omega say what?

O: Soundwave <3

[Megatron: Once I have access to the core, I will infuse it with Dark Energon and subject the entire planet’s energy supply to MY WILL!

New Objective, Enter the Stellar Galleries, displays briefly on the right side of the screen.

The camera swaps to the gameplay view. The party has been dropped off on a raised platform that has two sets of stairs leading down to ground level off to the right and left.

In front of them is a large reddish-brown building, surrounded by more reddish-brown structures on either side. Directly in front of the building there appears to be some kind of courtyard, that contains blueish energon flowing like water in two fountains, two artificial waterfalls on either side of the courtyard, as well as additional water features visible at the building’s entrance.

The front of the building resembles a face with two eyes and a mouth.]

C: Does that building have a face?

[Autobot: Decepticon intruders! They’re inside the city!

Megatron stops and looks up at the weird face on the building.]

O: You know, it might?

[Breakdown: Autobots attacking! Hey, wasn’t Starscream supposed to keep these guys occupied?

The group is in the middle of a firefight, and Megatron is hit by a shot before running over to the edge of the raised platform the party is on and looking around. He shoots an Autobot at a sentry gun.]

O: Oh fuck, who’s shooting at me bug- you bastards!

[Megatron: Even the Autobots aren’t foolish enough to leave the Stellar Galleries undefended. Destroy them!]

O: That one exploded...

C: So Specs, now we get to act like uh, we're the masters of everything and we would never make any of the mistakes- [laughs]

O: [laughs] Yeah, yeah, you guys have fun over there. I'll just uh, you know- I'll put my metaphorical life on the line.

[Megatron continues to shoot at Autobots with his Fusion Cannon and attempts to avoid taking enemy fire.]

C: [laughs]

O: Or, you know, insert comment about, “I still have a Fusion Cannon here, thank you!”

S: Yeah, oh-

O: Fucking rocket fucker. [laughs]

[Megatron takes aim at an Autobot hiding behind a large energy shield. Periodically, the shield drops and the Autobot shots missiles, leaving them vulnerable for a few seconds.]

S: Oh. I like... I can't decide if the lighting is like, very warm or if that's supposed to be the metal color. One of those things- pieces of wall looks like a face, and it’s kind of-

O: [laughs] That’s what Chezni said too.

S: -fucking with me.

O: [laughs] The building is staring at you Specs! The building is staring at you, it’s a friendly building!

[Megatron jumps down off the platform and takes aim at some Autobots he couldn’t see in his previous vantage point.]

S: Nooo…

O: I feel like I’m in a- like, watch- now I feel like I’m watching a children’s show where like, everything has faces. [laughs]

S: Yeah.

C: Your friends on the right exploded for like, no reason.

O: Will you stay still, you!?

[Several Autobots run up to the area where Megatron and some Decepticon grunts are. Megatron attempts to shoot them but misses multiple times before finally hitting them.]

S: Oh.

O: Megatron! We need more bullets, or you need to have better aim!

[Megatron is still firing on Autobots, but is running low on ammunition.]

S: Hm, so-

[Autobots continue to target Megatron.]

O: Oh my god, go away! Oh sorry, Specs.

S: This area actually looks like it would be really pretty... if it wasn't in the middle of a firefight.

O: Yeah!

C: I agree.

O: Yeah, it does. And, you know, we're actually outside in what passes as daylight on Cybertron? Which, uh, which we- we haven't gotten to see like this entire time, you know?

[Megatron turns around in a circle, looking up at the sky which is reddish orange in color.]

S: Yeah.

C: So, wait, is it normal for Cybertron to have water?

O: Uh... yeah-

S: That’s not water.

O: It’s Energon.

C: Oh.

[The immediate Autobots defeated, the party moves forward towards the interior of the building, walking past all of the ‘water’ features.]

C: The Energon must flow.

O: Although, som- sometimes it has water? Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it has the Sea of Rust?

S: Sometimes it's got other things. I mean, it could be uh, like, some sort of metal with a very low melting point.

O: Yeah.

C: Gotcha.

O: Pick one?

[Megatron is able to fully replenish his Fusion Cannon ammo. Off to his left a weapon chest is visible, he walks over to it.]

O: Oh good, a gun. Sniper rifle?

[Megatron smashes the chest and receives a Scatter Blaster (Full-Auto).]

O: No? No? Oh, damn.

[Megatron walks over to the left, smashing another ammo chest and then walking around to an area with multiple artificial waterfalls.]

S: Just the fact that your method of opening certain things just involves beating the shit out of it with-

O: Why- why do you think I’m like, “Megatron smash!” [laughs] Cuz it- it's very, very accurate, thank you.

S: Yeah.

[Seeing nothing else of value, Megatron turns around and transforms into vehicle mode, heading further into the interior of the building.]

O: Look, if I’m playing as a hulking warlord, I’m gonna have fun with it, okay?

[Soundwave: Megatron -- sensors indicate Autobot energy signatures nearby.

Breakdown: Where? I don’t see anything...

After heading up some stairs, Megatron exits into another smaller open air courtyard. In the middle stands a giant statue of some unknown Cybertronian. Soundwave and Breakdown follow behind Megatron, while three Decepticon grunts are waiting in front of the statue.]

O: I keep trying to shoot the Decepticons, because I’m like, “PEOPLE ARE RUNNING AT ME!”

[Megatron: The Autobots are here, no doubt skulking in the shadows.]

O: Do you have any room to talk?

C: Ah, yes, the Autobots, known for their skulking.

O: Yes!

[The Decepticon grunts are all killed when some energy blasts come out of nowhere.

Decepticon Grunt: NOOO!

Megatron backs up and begins looking around the room.]

O: Oh god, even our guys sound stupid when they die.

S: Known for their deception.

C: [laughs]

[Breakdown: They’re all around us!]

S: Nevermind our uh, faction name.

[Megatron: Return fire! Destroy anything that moves!]

C: Right.

O: You are being deceived-

[Megatron is destroyed by energy blasts from the invisible enemies, and Owls is kicked out to the Mission Failed screen.]

O: -goddammit. [laughs]

C: [laughs]

S: Bye, Megatron.

O: I am deceiving myself, apparently!

[Owls selects, “Restart From Last Checkpoint,” and the game reloads at the doorway to the second courtyard.

New Objective, Enter the Stellar Galleries, displays briefly on the right side of the screen.]

C: Just shaking off the rust!

O: Uh-huh. I- why- I wish it would have saved me picking shit up though.

[Megatron turns around and smashes the weapon chest behind him to pick up a Scatter Blaster.

Megatron: This shall be the downfall of countless Autobots!

He then runs over to an ammo chest and smashes it to refill his ammo.

Megatron: Argh!]

C: Alright, so they're here for the Omega Key, and they want the Omega Key because…?

[Megatron enters the doorway, walking out into the same courtyard as before.

Soundwave: Megatron -- sensors indicate Autobot energy signatures nearby.

Breakdown: Where? I don’t see anything...]

O: They need the key to get to the center of the planet, so he can put is Space Crack into the planet.

[Megatron: The Autobots are here, no doubt skulking in the shadows.

The 3 Decepticon grunts are killed, a firefight ensues.]

S: I kind of want to say that the Omega Key is supposed to open the Omega Lock and it-

O: Well, it’s held by Omega Supreme, so you’re not wrong.

S: [sighs]

C: Omega Supreme.

S: They really like their Omega naming.

[The party moves forward and begins attacking the invisible enemies.

Breakdown: They’re all around us!

Megatron: Return fire! Destroy anything that moves!]

O: You know, the one that sounds like a burrito!

C: Yeah.

S: [laughs]

C: Sounds like the kind of thing you’d go to a fast food restaurant and order.

S: Except that um, having um, having that order means that you automatically want to murder all the Constructicons.

O: [laughs] Your rage at the Constructicons will be complete!

C: Yeah, so I’d like an- a number 6? An Omega Supreme with a side ord- with a side of killing all the Destructicons.

O: Constructicons, but yes.

C: Constructicons, sorry.

O: What- sorry, with a side of uh, the rage at being betrayed by my Constructicon bros.

S: Yup.

C: So wait, are those the green and purple ones?

O: Yup.

S: Yes.

O: They make Devastator!

S: They are construction equipment.

[Megatron chases around a particularly troublesome enemy that keeps dodging his shoots.]

C: Why does Omega Supreme hate them?

O: Watch our podcast and find out! [laughs]

S: Yeah...

C: I edit your podcast!

O: We haven’t gotten to that episode yet, that’s why I’m making that joke. [laughs]

C: Gotcha.

[The last enemy is taken out, Megatron grabs some additional ammo, and heads down some stairs to where Breakdown and Soundwave are waiting.]

O: But yes, please Specs, feel free to enlighten him, I just had to rib him first. [laughs]

S: It involves um... crimes against architecture.

O: [laughs]

C: Great. [unintelligible]

O: [continues laughing] “Crimes against architecture,” huh?

S: Well, that's roughly what happens. Very roughly.

[The party exits into a circular area that is open to the sky. In the distance an Autobot drop ship crashes. Megatron throws a grenade into the center of the area.

Note: Owls did not mean to throw the grenade.

Breakdown: What are you trying to do!?]

C: Megatron keeps his troops on his toes. “Didn't expect me throw a grenade at your feet, did ya!?”

[Starscream (COM): Megatron -- the Dark Energon is proving every bit as formidable as you predicted! The Autobot armies crumble before it!]

O: [deep voice] On your toes, Breakdown! On your toes!

C: [laughs]

[The party heads through a doorway on their right, and onto a walkway. Megatron grabs a Scatter Blaster from a nearby weapon chest.

Megatron: Excellent, Starscream. Continue engaging them so that I can acquire the Omega Key.

Breakdown: There’s something off about that Starscream guy, Megatron. I don’t trust him.]

C: So wait, that was um, those enemies you were fighting earlier were invisible weren’t they?

O: Yup.

S: Yeah, they turned up in one of the previous areas.

[Megatron: Oh, I trust Starscream about as far as I can blast him… but he shows a rare cunning that I find intriguing.

The party continues up a ramp, once they reach level ground again, Megatron walks over to a gun that is lying on the ground. It is revealed to be a Null Ray (10x Scope) and he picks it up before continuing forward.]

O: THANK YOU!

[Soundwave: Be aware -- snipers at the entrance.

Megatron: Move forward and flank them! Let nothing stand in my way!

Megatron takes cover around the corner and shoots at the snipers with the Null Ray he just acquired.]

S: Though, I'm not sure what they are or what they do based off of in previous uh..

O: I don’t know.

C: They’re all Smokescreens.

O: [laughs] Mirage.

S: They’re more likely be to be Mirage.

O: Are they’re all Mirages?

[The party moves out into another large open area, with a big fountain in the middle and Megatron takes cover behind the fountain, still shooting Autobots.]

C: Mirage, sorry. I don’t know why, I get Mirage and Smokescreen mixed up.

O: Well, I mean, they do similar things but in completely different ways?

S: Yeah.

O: Uh, Mirage keeps people from seeing him by turning invisible. Smokescreen keeps people from seeing things by generating smoke.

S: Yeah.

C: So ones really fancy, and the other one just pollutes the environment, got it.

S: [laughs] More or less.

O: Yeah! Yeah, you know what? I feel like- I-I, you know, I have the feeling Mirage would agree with that statement. Like, a lot. You would probably have made his day by describing it that way. [laughs]

[The last Autobots in the area are defeated. Megatron walks around the fountain passing another gun, before finding an ammo chest and smashing it.]

O: Smash~

[Megatron passes under a large arch directly in front of the fountain, passing by another ammo chest and smashing it.]

O: Why did I do that? That doesn’t get me anything. I like to smash things, that’s what’s going on here.

C: It’s addicting.

[The party continues forward, passing by two large water features and heading up some stairs.]

O: [quietly] Smash, smash, smash, smash, smash, smash, smash, smash.

[Breakdown?: Let’s go, Decepticons!

The party turns a corner and comes across a bridge flanked by a multitude of statues. Autobot snipers are on some platform above the bridge, shooting down at the party.]

S: Breakdown looks so tiny compared to um, to Megatron.

C: Yeah.

[Megatron takes out three Autobots with the sniper rifle in rapid succession.]

C: Those guys didn’t stand a chance.

S: You're very good at the sniper stuff.

O: Eh, it’s easier? [laughs] Cuz I’m not in a firefight. I don’t actually do that well when I uh-

[Autobot reinforcements come out of an entry way behind the platforms and jump down onto the bridge, firing on Megatron and the others.]

O: I wish this sho- thing in the sequel where you could swap arms- um, I don’t very well in the middle of a fight, unfortunately.

[Megatron runs in front of the bridge so he can take cover on the other side and better aim at the enemy, and then takes out the remaining two Autobots.

Megatron: Decepticons cannot be stopped!]

C: Yup, Owls is our sniper.

O: So I just do this. And then, they threw the sniper into the game by herself. [laughs]

C: I'm the one who gets lost, and Specs is the one who runs up and cuts people.

A: [laugh]

O: I’m gonna cut ya.

S: Well, you're not the only one who gets lost Chezni, I do too.

[Megatron grabs some ammo and then walks over to Breakdown and Soundwave, who are standing in front of a locked door.

Soundwave: Megatron, the gate to the Stellar Galleries is locked.

Megatron: I anticipated this. A powerful infusion of Dark Energon will bend the doors to my will!

Megatron uses Dark Energon and destroys the door, allowing them to walk in at their convenience.]

C: That is true. We both get lost.

S: Yeah, the problem I find is just that a lot of, um. Well, a lot of games have to reuse uh, environment assets enough that I have difficulty ident- identifying other areas. Cuz ia lot of it just looks the same to me.

[Upon entering the tunnel, Megatron smashes two nearby Autobots who had been injured by the Dark Energon blast.]

C: Yeah.

O: It all looks the fucking same!

S: Pretty much.

[Megatron briefly enters a room before turning around and exploring the adjacent hallways. He picks up some health from a health chest and returns to the room. There is a large rotating pillar in the center that has multiple sets of lasers at varying heights, and seven spaced out platforms surrounding the center pillar. Three of the platforms have some sort of batteries on them that the quest markers are indicating, 4 are smaller, circular and at a lower level than the ledge the party entered on. Blue energon is visible on the floor.

Autobot Security System: Initiating defense grid.

Soundwave: Megatron -- those batteries feed the security grid.

Megatron: Quickly! Infuse the batteries with Dark Energon!

New Objective, “Disable the security system,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.]

O: [singing to the tune of the Star Wars theme] Space crack! It’s some space crack! He wants to use some space crack for THINGS!

[Megatron dodges a laserbeam and jumps to the platform on his left, landing on the one right below it that a battery is on.]

C: Megatron- just used his force powers to open that door.

O: Yes.

C: But… why does he not just use his force powers to do everything now?

O: I- he kinda does use for it for a bunch of things?

[By the time Megatron gets to the battery it has already been infected with Dark Energon. Sentry guns pop out of the wall and fire on him and Breakdown.

Breakdown: We gotta turn of these lasers before we all get fried!]

C: Or was he just like, super charged when he first got it and now he’s coming off-

O: I mean, I think he was super charged uh, when he first got it, uh, for sure, but-

S: Yeah, and now he’s-

C: And now he’s just chasing after that.

[Megatron takes aim at the sentry guns around the room, trying to dodge the guns and laser with limited success.]

O: Yeah, he’s chasing after that high- what is shooting at me?

S: That sweet, sweet high.

C: I think you’re shooting yourself.

S: Also-

O: Maybe I am, but I didn’t think I could do that the Fusion Cannon.

C: Oh.

[Breakdown: We gotta turn of these lasers before we all get fried!

Megatron jumps up on a higher platform, and attempts to jump to a higher platform with a battery on it, but aborts and lands back on the platform he jumped from when it doesn’t look like he can make it.]

O: Ugh.

S: I don't know how you're supposed to turn off the lasers.

C: Violence.

O: I know there must be a way, I just don’t remember how.

C: See, Specs, after watching all of um, you know, the- the footage that I’ve edited for the- vid- epi- videos that we were able to play together in. You are amazing good at finding-

[Soundwave: Scans indicate that the batteries power the security grid.

Megatron jumps back up on the platform he entered on and attempts to go around the pillar and jump on another platform but instead just walks off the edge, landing in the energon and dying instantly.]

O: That’s-! I- do- it’s- die! [annoyed gibberish noises]

[The Mission Failed screen displays, Owls selects ‘Restart From Last Checkpoint’, and the game loads at the doorway to the pillar room.

New Objective, Enter the Stellar Galleries, displays briefly on the right side of the screen.]

C: [laughs] You are amazingly good at finding the button you need to push.

[Autobot Security System: Initiating defense grid.

New Objective, “Disable the security system,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.

Soundwave: Megatron -- those batteries feed the security grid.

Megatron: Quickly! Infuse the batteries with Dark Energon!]

O: Yeah, I'm actually suffering from that right now.

[Megatron jumps over to the battery platform on his left and plants a detpak on it.]

C: I think you- I think Specs nailed like 75% of anything we needed to interact with.

S: I don't know, it's a talent, I guess?

C: [laughs]

[Megatron jumps over to the battery platform across from the entrance and plants a detpak on it as well. He then turns around and bashes a health chest to get health before jumping to the last battery platform, but before he lands, Breakdown runs over and plants a Detpak on the battery and it explodes.]

S: Maybe you're supposed to shoot something? Maybe?

C: I think she just needed to go over and hit the computer.

[The lasers deactivate, and the middle pillar is now covered in Dark Energon and little bits of purple electricity are coming off it and the three battery packs.

Autobot Security System: Security measures deactivated.

Megatron: Soundwave. Damage report.

Soundwave: Scans show minimal damage.]

C: Looks like it’s off now.

O: Yup.

S: Oh, that’s good.

C: So, that’s good.

[New Objective, “Find the Omega Key,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.

The blue energon on the floor has also disappeared- Megatron jumps down to the floor and the party leaves through a newly opened door.]

O: Yeah, I had to- I had to, you know, put my Space Crack all up in it. That’s what I had to do. Mmm-hm. Mmm-hm. Seems legit.

[The party walks down a hallway that opens up into a long room. Across the room a weapon chest is visible.]

O: And now I literally do not care about any other gun, because I have the two I want.

[Sentry guns on the walls to the left begin firing at the party, who fire back.

Megatron: Now...time for more strategic slaughter!]

C: How do you think Starscream would feel about him using his gun?

O: How do you think he got it?

S: He might find it hot?

O: [laughs] There we go, yeah.

C: [laughs]

[Two Autobots also begin firing on the party, who make quick work of them.]

S: It’s like, obviously this is the hottest thing.

O: I mean the only thing hotter is him using Megatron, right?

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs]

[The Autobots destroyed, Megatron walks around the room, destroying weapon chests and picking up ammo.

Soundwave: Megatron, our data indicates that the Omega Key is located just beyond that door.

Megatron: Excellent! This venture has proven far less taxing than I had anticipated.]

C: Now that would be a fun part of a game, if in multiplayer Megatron could turn into a gun and other people could use him.

[Breakdown: Are you serious? I’m feelin’ pretty taxed, myself.]

O: That would be weird but…

S: That could be... kind of weird-

C: [laughs]

S: Actually, I’m wondering what that sort of…

C: Well, I don’t know it’s just-

S: Like, would other people have the ability to actually shoot you or would you still have control of the shooting?

C: No, I think- I think they would just move and you would shoot.

S: That could be interesting.

O: [laugh] That would be interesting.

S: Like, it might give you a powerup or something?

C: Yeah.

O: I will see that and raise you, imagine trying to have to control a combiner between three people.

C: That would be fun!

S: Oh god, five people.

O: Yeah, no-no-no, I know- I know but- but like, if you could- had to limit it or something so there were only 3 players.

C: Yeah.

O: Um, I just think it sounds funny.

[Megatron walks over to a large doorway where Breakdown and Soundwave are standing and destroys the door with Dark Energon. The party walks forward into a large room centered around a floating sphere (presumably a model of Cybertron), with smaller circular bodies orbiting it. To the left and right there are staircases that wind their way up the wall.

Soundwave: The Autobots maintain these rooms for tranquil contemplation.]

S: Honestly, it's reminds me of that game like um, QWOP, I think?

C: Yeah.

[Breakdown: Tranquil contemplation? What does that even mean?]

S: Basically where you have to control each of the limbs with uh, um…

C: Q, W, O, P.

[Megatron: It means the Autobots laze about and whine over their own inadequacies. Ugh… what a waste of time and resources. Decepticons! Find the Omega Key!]

S: Yeah, or there's a similar game where you have to control a horse.

O: [snorts]

S: Or a unicorn and often it just flops.

C: Yeah, you’re lucky if you can do anything with it.

[Megatron jumps on a nearby platform and begins shooting some of the small spheres orbiting the model.]

O: Apparently Megaton is, in fact, petty enough to shoot these things.

C: Yeah, what- what- is that-

O: He's like, “They're all wimps! They have a meditation room, how dare they have that!”

C: Ah!

[Megatron begins running up the staircase on his left.]

S: Oh, I was under the impression that they were like, ads.

C: He-

O: [laughs]

[Megatron jumps off the stairs and roams around the first floor of the room some more looking for any missed items. Not finding anything else, he looks up and continues shooting spheres as he walks back over to the stairs.]

C: “Megatron hates ads!”

S: Or at least that’s what I was thinking.

O: [continues laughing]

C: “Oil change at Sparky’s? I’ll show you oil change!”

O: [continues laughing] Goddammit.

C: “This is for interrupting my SpaceTube episode!”

O: “It was from SPACE!” [laughs] I do love that idea, I love the idea of it being uh, of- those being like, pop up ads, that’s way funnier.

[Megatron walks back up the stairs arriving on a platform with Breakdown and Soundwave. To the right is a console.

Megatron: Behold, Decepticons! The Omega Key!]

C: Yeah, Specs, that’s amazing.

S: I mean, honestly- [laughs] You're welcome, it's just, Cybertron seems like the sort of place where you would have pop-up ads everywhere.

O: Yeah!

C: [laughs]

O: Also, apparently the Omega Key was just here, in this room.

C: What? In the room with all the space pop-ups?!

S: [laughs]

O: Yes.

C: They didn’t even know they’d come-

S: Well, but maybe they’re representations of the moons? In which case, it looks like there's an awful lot of Cybertronian moons.

[Megatron walks over to the console and activates it. The reddish-orange forcefield around a small floating orb in front of the console drops, and the sphere opens, revealing nothing inside but the indent of where a key should be.

Breakdown: Wow. That is one empty container.]

O: [snorts] Thanks, Breakdown.

[A hologram of Zeta Prime appears above the empty key container. The camera pans around behind him as he points at Megatron.

Zeta Prime: Megatron, I’m warning you right now. You are toying with forces beyond your understanding or control.]

O: What is it with Primes and their chins?

[Megatron: Ah, Zeta Prime. I see you’re still afraid to face me in person.]

C: I was thinking the same thing.

S: Maybe they based it off of, um, Animated? Cuz that was one chin-tastic animation.

[Zeta Prime: Ha! Predictable as ever, right down to the empty words. The Omega Key is under MY protection now, Megatron.]

O: Yeah, Animated is just chin-tastic all the way through, let’s be honest.

S: Yeah.

O: But Sentinel had like, the chinny- the most chin-tastic chin out of all of the chins. [laughs]

S: The chinniest chin chin chin.

C & O: [laugh]

[Megatron: That is hardly a deterrent. I will enjoy taking the Omega Key from your lifeless hands.]

O: Oh, you have it, so I just have to kill you to get it, cool. [laughs]

[A variety of Autobot enemies appear and a fight ensues.

New Objective, “Defeat Autobot ambushers,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.]

C: [laughs] “Right, wait- that's not what you're supposed to think!”

S: Oh no-

O: “You’re supposed to be like, Oh no, that sounds difficult!”

S: And Megatron's just like, “Oh, you're challenging me?”

O: “-BIIITCH!”

S: Congratulations! You’re dead!

C: What a terrible case of me murdering you, you seem to have come down with.

O & S: [laugh]

[Megatron: [laughs] For glory!

Megatron is on the stairway, shooting the various Autobots with the Null Ray, and taking them down in rapid succession.]

O: Oh yes, please just- just stand there let me shoot you, that- that's my favorite thing, yes.

C: Man, Owls makes this look easy.

S: Yeah.

[To the left of the screen some Autobots begin to fire on Megatron who runs behind a pillar to continue shooting.]

O: Ah!

C: I remember these doggone flying guys in the first chapter and I had no idea what to do.

S: Yeah... Actually, now I'm wondering what like, Megatron's preferred scent would be or if Cybertronians even have like, fragrance preferences?

O: [deep voice] “Ah, yes, the scent of motor oil-”

C: A couple of them reference their ‘olfactory sensors’ so they must have some kind of scent.

O: Yeah, they- they clearly can smell but that’s like- yeah, what scents do they like? I mean, like, humans seem to like flowers, or the smell of rain, what do Cybertronians like?

C: Crop rust!

S: I mean, honestly, would rust smell like the beach to them considering the Sea of Rust?

O: I- considering rust is usually seen as a bad thing, I’m gonna say it wouldn’t have the same connotations.

S: Mmm.

[Megatron shoots an Aerialbot, and the Aerialbot goes flying in a different direction than the momentum of the shot before exploding.]

O: Pfft, that was a weird direction to take that, but okay.

S: Yeah, I mean-

C: So, the Sea of Rust is actually like, a beach of rust?

[Megatron heads down the stairs to his left, before jumping off and landing on the bottom floor. He is low on ammo, completely out of Fusion Cannon shots, and has 11 Null Ray shots left.]

S: Maybe not? The problem is I'm not entirely sure if it's considered like a wasteland or…

O: A destination, as it were.

S: Yeah.

C: [chuckles] Like a destination in your mind?

O: Well, I mean like, a vacation destination kind of thing.

C: Oh, oh.

S: Yeah.

O: I-I yeah, I really don’t know-

[Soundwave: Autobots, incoming!

A door in front of Megatron explodes, revealing 2 of the large Autobots carrying machine guns from the first level.]

O: Oh fuck- NO. NO. YOU.

C: Wha-

O: YOU!

[Megatron takes cover behind a pillar and shoots at the Autobots.]

S: You need to reload.

C: Are those guys bad?

O: We died against them so many times in the first chapter!

C: Oh! Right, right, right.

[Megatron transforms and drives up the stairs in tank mode.

Megatron: I shall lead the way!]

O: That's great, but we're gonna do it from higher ground, buddy.

[Megatron goes up the stairs before transforming back to robot mode. He takes cover behind a pillar, shooting at the large Autobots down below, taking out one of them.]

S: I mean, maybe different metals have different scents?

O: Or minerals?

[Megatron runs out of ammo in his two guns. Transforming he goes back down the stairs and takes aim at the last remaining Autobot in while in vehicle mode. He shoots once, hitting an explosive barrel near the Autobot and killing him.]

S: Yeah, I don't know, maybe the Autobots would find more organic notes more interesting because they'd have- it would be exotic and they're more used to those. Whereas Decepticons might be- might prefer um, more metallic scents. I don’t know.

C: I would say Tungsten would be-

S: [laughs]

[Megatron: Soundwave, trace Zeta Prime’s broadcast signal.

Soundwave: Commencing scan… Complete. Its origin is 12.7 cycles ahead.

Megatron runs over to the maintenance door Soundwave and Breakdown are standing by.]

O: Wow- wow, he wasn't even trying to hide himself if Soundwave could do it that quickly!

S: Yeah.

[Soundwave: Scans reveal poor structural integrity surrounding this maintenance access door.

Megatron: You heard him! Blast the wall!

New Objective, “Proceed to the lower city,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.]

O: Smash it, you say? [laughs]

[Megatron smashes the door and runs through.]

S: Oh~

[Megatron walks over to an ammo chest and smashes it.]

O: Oh, thank fuck.

[Soundwave: Megatron -- the city subsystems provide a direct line to the broadcat’s origin.

The group enters a dark tunnel with a vaguely green tint. Up ahead, on the right, there is another maintenance door. This door is held in place by locks, which Megatron destroys before knocking the door down.]

C: Alright, alright, so, we're in greenlight mode now.

O: [quietly] There we go...

S: Yeah, and I don't much like it because… meh.

C: Megatron, meanwhile-

[The other side of the maintenance door reveals a large pillar with slowly blades spinning on multiple levels. The room goes down quite a ways, with several sets of blades below the party and blue energon below that.]

O: Oh, look! More things that want to kill us!

C: -demonstrates that he, uh, doesn’t properly know how to open doors.

[Megatron: Descend here. And have a care -- one wrong step, and you’re scrap metal.

Megatron jumps off his current level, landing on the next set of blades below.]

O: Well, he was born in a mine, why would he use doors?

C: [laughs]

[Megatron jumps down another level, and waits as the blade slowly moves towards a maintenance door on the opposite wall.

Breakdown: Uh… not that I’m arguing or anything, but -- why don’t we just go back to the dropship and hitch a ride?

Megatron: This is the shortest distance to travel, Breakdown.]

O: [laughs]

S: Okay, who would design this like this?

C: [laughs]

S: Like, seriously, that’s a door!

[Megatron shoots the maintenance door and jumps through, landing in another dimly lit hallway.]

C & O: [laugh]

O: It- maybe it was a maintenance door or something? I don’t know. [laughs]

S: Maybe…

[The party walks up a stairwell at the end of the hallway, which leads up to a closed door.]

C: Oh, the- the coffee room?

O: [laughs]

C: It’s down- it’s down the pillar of evil fan death. Death fan.

O: [continues laughing] You can either take the stairs or you can brave the f- fans of death, but if you miss them you will die. How much do you want your coffee?

[The door opens and party continues through and up another set of stairs before running into an Autobot using a console on the wall. A fight ensues.

Autobot: Decepticon intruders! They’re inside the city!]

S: It's too exciting, I’ll do without coffee.

C: [laughs]

[Megatron: Into the tunnel, Decepticons. And try not to get crushed by the trains.

Megatron takes out the Autobot and the party walks out onto a platform inside of a much larger tunnel.]

S: Oh, trains? Is this their mass transit system?

[Breakdown: You’re joking, right?

Megatron: Yes, Breakdown -- I am famous for my sparkling sense of humor. Now GET MOVING, before I dismantle you myself!]

O: [laughs] “I’m known for my sparkling sense of humor.”

S: Oh, it’s mass transit system time…

C: [laughs]

S: ...with mines.

[The large tunnel is indeed revealed to be some kind of mass transit system. In front of the party the tunnel descends deeper underground. A train running on the ceiling passes by overhead. Rolling spherical mines are scattered throughout the floor of the tunnel. Megatron transforms and begins heading down the tunnel. Soundwave and Breakdown manage to stay ahead of him.]

C: It's a pity Megatron is a tank, while everyone else is a travelling vehicle.

O: Right? Like, they’re so much faster than me and I don't just think it's because they’re computer AI’s.

[The party continues down the tunnel, which is also, for not explainable reason, littered with ramps.

Breakdown: Whoa! Watch out!

More trains pass overhead, the party enters a party of the tunnel with transparent walls. Other trains are seen running in the distance, along with a lot of exposed piping.]

S: I'm honestly sort of amused that Soundwave is faster.

O: I mean… it- he is a vehicle in this one.

[There are also a few sets of pillars with laser sensors running between them. Megatron jumps off a ramp and manages to hit one, causing some guns to pop out of the wall and shoot at him with missiles.]

S: I know, but considering that his most well known iterations aren’t vehicles, it's just- I always just find it really funny.

C: It’s like that scene in Beast Wars, “For the Predacon Alliance!”

O: [laughs]

C: Turns into a tape deck.

O: Oh, Ravage, I love you.

[The party continues onwards, until their tunnel meets up with another one. Ahead of them a train moves across from right to left and two trains go past them on the ceiling. Megatron turns on the new tracks, following Breakdown and Soundwave who are still ahead of him.]

O: Oh dear, I remember this. I died.

C: [laughs]

[Megatron: Onward! Through that door!

A smaller tunnel branches off the main one to the left. Megatron transforms into robot mode and looks around, nearly getting hit by a train from behind before entering the dark tunnel.]

C: That’s some really good advice, don't get hit by a train.

O: Right? I'm like, Megatron did not listen to his own advice the first time I played through this level, I don't think! [laughs]

S: And we're back to the green.

O: Yeahhhhh, Cybertron’s a dark, dark place, Specs.

S: Ehhhh…

C: [laughs]

[Megatron heads left at a fork in the tunnel, and walks over and picks up some ammo.

Megatron: A brilliant addition to my efforts!]

O: Megatron, I- do you say that every time you pick up ammo? And like, I don't mean out loud. I mean to yourself. [laughs]

S: He very well could.

[To the right a doorway can be seen on other side of the room through a hole in the wall. Megatron heads back the way he came, heading down the right fork and smashing a weapon’s chest on his way.]

O: [quietly] I don’t know why I’m hitting this-

S: He likes to talk to himself.

O: He just likes to talk. [laughs]

C: [laughs]

[Megatron continues down the hallway, coming to door he’d seen through the wall.

Breakdown: It’s no use, Megatron! The door’s locked!

Megatron: A simple solution, then. Break the locks!

Megatron tries to shoot the door and hit it with his melee attack, but neither do anything. He attempts to aim at the red targets, but nothing happens and he heads back up the hallway to the hole the door was visible through before.]

O: We’ve got to go around.

C: I was gonna say, I was like, “What?”

S: You have to shoot through something?

O: Yeah, but I- I think I have to go over here and shoot something. Yeah.

C: Oh, of course you have to go to the other side of the door to open the locks on the door.

[Megatron shoots the locks through the hole, destroying them and the door.]

C: Why don't you just climb through there [the hole]?!

[Megatron: Blow open that door!]

O: [deep voice] “We're not savages!”

S: I mean…

O: [laughs]

[Megatron transforms and drives back over to the doorway, jumping down into the room below where Breakdown and Soundwave are waiting.]

S: We’ve got to be polite, got to knock first and then we open- then we go through.

O: Megatron’s idea of knocking is two Fusion Cannon blasts, through the door! I mean, don’t you know anything? [laughs]

[Megatron: Move to that exit! NOW!]

C: You do not want the third.

O & S: [laugh]

[Breakdown: Uh, Megatron...]

O: The third goes into your head.

[Soundwave: Autobot cloakers, present.

Megatron: Quickly! Infuse the batteries with Dark Energon!

Invisible enemies begin firing on the party.]

S: Yeah…

O: Seems legit.

[Quest icons appear over three consoles in the room. Megatron fires back at the Autobots firing at the party.]

S: Oh, I think- yeah, it looks like you need to um…

C: Shoot everything!

O: Uh, when don’t I?

C: [laughs]

[Megatron continues to shoot at enemies.]

S: I mean, did you activate the... thing [console]?

O: No, because I'm trying to kill the things that are shooting at me!

S: Good point.

[A cloaker uncloaks on top of a nearby platform. Megatron fires off several shots, missing, but the cloaker continues to stand out in the open.]

C: That guys really content to just stand there.

S: Yeah.

[Megatron finally kills the cloaker and then runs over to one of the indicated consoles, planting a detpak on it.]

C: We believe in you, Owls.

S: Yeah.

O: Thank you, I’m not sure if I believe in me.

[A health chest is visible in the distance, across an area enemies are currently firing on.]

O: I want that health over there though! [laughs]

C: Classic shooter dilema.

[Megatron continues to fire, ducking in and out of cover. Soundwave walks over and begins healing him.]

O: Oh, Soundwave, you're a beautiful bastard!

S: He is earning his keep today.

[Megatron: Hurry! Destroy the batteries!]

O: Soundwave always earns his keep in my opinion. Soundwave could be having an off day, and he’d still be more useful than half the Cons.

S: Oh, yeah.

[The party takes out several enemies clustered around one of the consoles, before Megatron runs over and plants a Detpak on it.]

S: But in this iteration he doesn't have, um, offensive features, or combat features.

O: I know you meant ‘off-fen-sive’ but my brain totally just heard he- he’s ‘o-ffen-sive’ somehow. As in like, bad.

[The last of the cloakers are destroyed.

Megatron: Excellent work, Soundwave. Now unlock the exit door.]

C: No, that’s clearly uh, the Soundwave from Animated.

S: [laughs]

O: He was fine!

C: [laughs]

O: He was fine!

C: He had the most catchy, annoying theme-

O: Like, no, I didn’t like him as much as other Soundwaves, but I liked him anyway.

[Megatron walks around the room, looking for any items and then heads over to the health chest and retrieves the health. He then walks over to a console and activates it, opening a door in front of the group.

Megatron: MOVE, Decepticons! Double-time!]

C: He was pretty funky fresh.

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs] Goddammit.

[Megatron transforms into vehicle mode and drives down a stairway, arriving at a platform in the same (or similar to) the large tunnel from before. He grabs some nearby ammo.

Breakdown: Hey Soundwave, you wanna race?

Soundwave: Negative.]

C: Alright, so Megatron-

S: So is it time for trains- sorry.

C: Oh no, go ahead.

S: Is it time for trains again?

C: It might be.

[Megatron transforms into vehicle mode and follows Soundwave and Breakdown into the descending tunnel. The features from the last tunnel go around are still present, there are spherical rolling mines, ramps, movement sensors, and trains passing over head.]

C: Oh, no just mines of death.

O: Ah, I mean those- those were there in the last go around too.

S: Yeah, more trains!

C: [laughs]

S: The Cybertronian um, transit system is…

[Large flashing red warnings appear on the right and left just before a train passes in front of Megatron. He uses a ramp, jumping over the moving train.]

O: What does that mean? That doesn’t-

C: Whose idea do you think it was to put all these ramps down here?

[Megatron: Don’t get hit by the train, you fool!]

O: [snorts] Megatron! We are far more likely to get hit by a train than either of your subordinates because I’m the one in the driv- the one behind the steering wheel!

[Megatron hits a mine before taking another ramp to avoid the next train.]

O: Um, obviously they’re for maintenance bots, honey.

[The tunnel ahead ends abruptly with a crashed train in the center. The party diverts from the tracks to a smaller ramp on the right.

Megatron: There -- that station. From there we can infiltrate the lower levels of Iacon.]

O: Well, they're obviously for getting over those trains that are perpendicular to you.

C: [laughs]

[Breakdown: What -- that’s it? I was kind of having fun. In a high speed, suicidal kind of way.]

C: They were probably like, “Well, we could dig safety maintenance tunnels, you know, to go under the trains,” and they were like, “No, you fool! Ramps! Ramps are the way to go!”

O: RAMPS! [laughs]

[The party heads up some stairs, exiting to an open air area. Bridges, buildings, and various pipes all loom overhead. In front of them are two sets of train tracks.

Soundwave: Megatron --Omega Key detected. We should proceed through the logistics station.]

S: They’re much sexier.

[Megatron: Excellent! The Omega Key awaits!]

O: [laughs]

C: It'll be awesome! We’ll get all the- all the Cybertronian chicks, all two of them!

O & S: [laugh]

[A train passes in front of the party on the tracks nearest to them.

Soundwave: Megatron -- sensors indicate approaching Autobot energy signatures.

New Objective, “Pass through the lower city,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.]

S: Get all the hot jets.

C: [laughs]

Megatron: Decepticons -- ready your weaponry for battle!]

O: Yeah, yeah, yeah, the- the jets are the ones they’re trying to uh, allure, my dear.

C: Oh, okay.

[A bunch of Autobots pop out of hiding and begin firing at the party, who fire back. More trains sporadically pass by on the two tracks.]

S: I wonder how many of the trains might actually be other transformers who are like, so done with the firefight in their workplace.

O: [laughs]

C: That’s a good point!

[The first wave of Autobots are destroyed and another group, this time with energon shields fall jump down from above.]

O: I mean, to be fair, we only know of like- the only time we’ve every really seen train Transformers was uh, in uh-

C: Astrotrain?

[Megatron takes cover behind a box and begins sniping the Autobots. More trains cross by in front of him.]

O: Well-

S: Well, yes, there's Astrotrain and then there's the three of them from Car Robots in the original RID.

[Note: Transformers: Robots in Disguise, 2001, was called Transformers: Car Robots in Japan. We frequently use the Japanese name to get across what we’re saying quicker because in the US there’s not less than three goddamn things using the title ‘Robots in Disguise’.]

O: Yeah, I mostly meant like, working train ro- like, robots that worked as trains.

C: Oh.

S: Which is-

O: Is what I’m trying to get across there.

S: Which is the three from um, Car Robots.

O: Yeah.

S: Cuz they like, abandon- at least one of them abandons like, a group of passengers in a tunnel to go in fight ah, Decepticons or Predacons.

C: Oh wow.

S: You know, I kind of want to see what would happen if an Autobot who was shielded was just in there when a train comes through.

C: [laughs]

O: Right? [laughs]

C: Maybe we’ll get lucky, I keep waiting for it.

O: And that’s how I died, by being crushed!

[Megatron suddenly dies and the game briefly goes to the ‘Mission Failed’ screen before the game loads back at the stairway leading up to the outdoor station.]

O: Oh! Okay…

C: Whoa, what happened?

O: I don't know, somebody hit me.

[New Objective, “Pass through the lower city,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.]

C: From our perspective uh, I’d say it looked like you were winning.

S: Yeah.

O: [quietly] To a certain degree of winning. [normal volume] All right, come out, come out wherever you are, so I can shoot you.

[Megatron walks forward just enough to get the Autobots to come out of hiding before taking cover behind another box.]

S: It’s train time. Unfortunately, you- we can't get in the trains. Oh.

[Megatron snipes enemies.

Megatron: All shall fall before Megatron!]

O: Uh-huh, uh-huh, that’s nice, buddy.

C: [laughs]

S: His ego requires it.

[Megatron: Only fools stand against Megatron!]

O: Look, I’m just saying, riding shotgun with this character just involves me being like, “Uh-huh, uh-huh, that’s nice.”

[The second wave of Autobots jump down after the first wave of Autobots are dispatched.]

C: Oh, you can’t see [your] health when you’re in the zoomed in mode. [When using the sniper rifle scope.]

S: Yeah.

C: That might have been what confused us.

S: Maybe. Or maybe your character, maybe Megatron just ended up on the tracks?

O: I don’t think so, I was back behind the box.

[The last of the second wave are destroyed, when a third wave of Autobots run down stairs on the other side of the station.]

O: Goddammit, how many of there are you!?

S: Uh… a lot?

O: A lot, yeah!

[Megatron continues sniping.]

C: A lot of Autobots were really unhappy with their life and wanted a quick death.

O: And I’m providing it for them, got it. [laughs] Megatron’s providing a service.

[Megatron moves closer to the last Autobot killing him and clearing the room. The Autobot cries out rather loudly when he’s shot.]

O: [imitating the Autobot] Blaaargh! Blah, I say!

[Megatron walks around picking up ammo and other enemy drops before heading over the train tracks towards the other stairway.]

O: [sighs] Oh, jesus. Alright.

C: I remember being a kid and playing games and like, things like running across the railroad tracks always freaked me out.

O: Were you afraid of the trains squishing you?

C: I don’t know why.

S: I mean… trains are dangerous.

[Megatron runs up the steps into a tunnel, and heads to his left. Ahead of him the wall explodes and a sparking cylindrical object is sticking out of a newly created hole.

Breakdown: Take cover!

Megatron: Steady yourself, coward. I marked this area for Dark Energon bombers.

Breakdown: Are you insane?!? I mean… yes, brilliant, Megatron!

The party heads to the left, an open area that is currently the grounds of a large firefight is visible in the distance.]

O: [laughs] That- that inflection was- was amazing. Thank you, thank you Knockout.

S: Breakdown?

O: Breakdown, yeah, sorry. I blame Chezni, he was talking about Knockout earlier!

C: Yup, it’s my fault.

O: ~Always!

[Megatron stops and snipes some of the visible enemies ahead, before the area’s bombed with Dark Energon.]

O: I don’t know why I’m wasting my ammo when they're just going to get bombed with Dark Energon. Meagtron, should- should I ask how you got this much Dark- I- I know we- I know supplied you with Dark Energon, but you had- you had enough to make Energon- Dark Energon bombers? Really?!

[The party continues on, fallen Autobots litter the ground and the way forward is blocked by a pile of rubble.

Megatron: Perfect! Soon Iacon will be no more than a thick layer of rubble!

Breakdown: The wreckage is in our way, Megatron.]

S: I don’t know, maybe it's-

[Soundwave: Megatron -- the debris scans as stable enough to support our weight.

Megatron jumps on the debris before jumping up into another tunnel.]

S: Maybe it turns into exponential growth at some point? That would make it easier…

O: Nah, he just wants an easy supply of Space Crack. Definitely that.

S: Yeah...

[Breakdown: Hey! There’s Autobots unloading off the train!

Megatron: Leave no Autobot alive!

The party exits into another large room. They are standing on a platform, below there are some stopped trains and several Autobots. The party begins firing on them.

Megatron: Fall before Megatron!]

O: I don’t know why you felt the need to say that Megs, we never leave any Autobots alive.

[Breakdown: Okay, what needs doing?]

S: He just wants to you-

C: He won’t let us-

S: [laughs] Sorry.

C: Oh no, I just gonna say, you won't let us open the doors until we kill them all.

S: Yeah…

O: For some reason! (Soundwave being incredibly petty.)

[Megatron attempts to shoot a distant Autobot, but the Autobot isn’t getting hit despite Megatron being on target. The camera pulls out as he reloads, and it’s apparent the shots have clipped into a nearby wall instead. He backs up and shoots the Autobot, finally destroying them.

O: I was like, “Why isn’t that working?

[Megatron: Blast those Aerialbots!

Aerialbots fly in from above.]

O: Oh, goody.

C: Yeah, the odd clipping on the box.

S: It’s the Aerialbots again. I don't think they're a combiner in this one or maybe not, maybe they are, I don't know.

O: No, these are- that's just what they call any flying Autobots I’ve noticed.

S: Oh, that’s...

O: I know, not confusing at all, but…

S: Yeah, not a fan.

[The Aerialbots fly over the party dropping bombs as the party attempts to fire back.]

C: So wait, what did they call them in this one?

O: Well, they're just called Aerialbots because they can fly.

[The last Autobot is destroyed, and the party jumps down from their platform.

Soundwave: Megatron -- I have detected the Omega Key. It lies beyond the train tunnel.

Megatron: Move out, Decepticons!

Megatron smashes some item chests, grabbing a nearby shield.]

S: It's just a generic term for flying Autobot instead of what it was in the cart- the G1 cartoon was- well, and in the comics- they were a combiner team who combined into uh… well.

O: Superion?

S: Yep.

C: Oh, and they were specifically called the Aerialbots?

O: Yeah.

S: Yes.

C: Gotcha.

S: Because they were planes.

O: And because so few of the- the Autobots really flew too, that was kind of distinct.

S: Yup.

[Megatron runs up some ramps and does some light platforming to reach Soundwave and Breakdown who are standing off to the left of some train tracks. He then transforms and follows the tracks into a tunnel. Ahead of him several red notices pop up in an alien text and he drives into a little area off the tracks to his left, returning to bot mode. A train passes by on the tracks.

Megatron: Stay on the tracks -- if you want to get smashed to pieces!]

O: I feel like he’s having way to much fun with that…

S: I think he is too.

[Megatron transforms back into tank mode and drives up to another small area off the main tracks, this time on the right side of the tunnel. He transforms back to bot mode.

Soundwave: Scans reveal poor structural integrity surrounding this maintenance access door.

Megatron smashes the maintenance door in the floor with his mace and falls to the floor below when it breaks.

New Objective, “Approach the Iacon Vaults,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.

(COM) Brawl: Starscream! This is Brawl! We’re pinned down outside Zeta Prime’s vaults! We need air support!]

O: Hey, there’s Brawl!

[Megatron: Excellent! Brawl is already near the Omega Key!

Megatron walks forward and activate a console that is directly in front of him that opens a door on his right. The party heads out the door and up some stairs, when they near the top something smashes through the ceiling in the room ahead, followed by an explosion.]

O: Yeah, that looks healthy.

C: Now they’re going to have to patch the roof.

O: I mean, Megatron I think, just wants to you know, start from ground zero I-I don't think- I don’t think- I think he just wants to redecorate by rebuilding, to be honest.

C: Big skylight.

S: Yeah.

[The party runs reaches the top, taking a left up a smaller flight of stairs, and Megatron shots an Autobot ahead that has his back to them. The party then runs over to a large window. There is a firefight going on outside, and the party fires on the Autobots.

Megatron: Autobots fall so easily!]

S: He takes a decidedly ballistic approach to redecoration.

O: [laughs] Yes!

C: That's well phrased.

O: Megatron doesn’t know the meaning of redecorating, he’s just going to renovate.

S: Yup.

[The party follows the walkway to their left, taking out another Autobot.

Breakdown: Look! They’ve got Brawl outnumbered down there!]

C: What on Earth…?

[In an in-game cinematic it cuts to the floor of the area outside the windows from where the party is. Six Autobots all pile on top of an enemy, before revealing they were attacking Brawl as he throws them all off at once.]

C: “They're eating him! Then they're gonna eat me! OH MY GOD!”

A: [laugh]

O: I think that’s Brawl just doin’- doin’ his thing- doin’ his thing down there.

S: Yeah.

C: Right, right, got it.

[The continue to follow the walkway, leading more into the interior of whatever building/structure they are in and run into one of the large Autobots with shields.]

C: That guy's got a big shield because he's just saying, “Please shoot me in the back!”

O: Right? Not, you know, “I'm gonna put some extra shielding on my back!,” it’s gotta all be on the front.

[The Autobot is primarily focused on Soundwave as Megatron is going back and forth attempting to shoot the Autobot in his weak point on his back.]

O: Will you explode already?

C: He's trying.

[Megatron gets a few more shoots into the Autobot who finally explodes.]

O: [laughs] Well, tell him to try faster!

S: [laughs] Try harder to explode.

[Continuing ahead the party encounters two Autobots with the glowy barriers that are taken out relatively quickly.]

O: [nasally voice] Tell them to explode faster, Chezni!

C: All right, but I don't think he’ll listen.

O: [laughs] Does anyone ever listen in this [game]?

[Megatron grabs some ammo, and heads towards the next room. A wall explodes in front of the party and a glowy barrier Autobot on the other side begins throwing grenades at them.]

C: Umm... Soundwave- er, not Soundwave, Starscream.

S: [snickers]

O: I don’t think Starscream listens either.

C: He uh, did in that first episode with- when he had his tail between his legs.

[Another glowy Autobot joins the first and Megatron backs up swapping to his Null Ray and taking one of them out.

Megatron: All shall fall before Megatron!]

C: “What's that, Lord Megatron?” “Yes, of course, Lord Megatron!”

O: [laughs]

C: “Let me go off and get you that Dark Energon right no- right away, Lord Megatron!”

S: He was very intent on that booty call.

[The other Autobot is shortly dispatched and the party continues ahead. They come out to a room with a large hole in the wall ahead of them. An Autobot is standing on the edge with his back to them, but is quickly dispatched.]

O: Yeah, he was- he was turned on, also who the fuck is banging out there!?

C: It’s Cream, er, our cat.

O: I- I thought it was coming from the wall!

C: No.

O: Either that or we’ve got multiple banging going on here, but Cream is very insistent to be out here. [laughs]

[The party takes up the position vacated by the Autobot and Megatron begins sniping all the visible Autobots.]

O: Cream is not out here, cuz otherwise you would be hearing her over the mic giving me headbutts.

S: [laughs]

[Breakdown: Snipers! Across the street!]

O: This isn’t an exaggeration, she just does that. And I love it- it's adorable just not when I'm on a headset, like when I'm at work!

[Megatron: None can resist us!

The snipers across the street are hastily dealt with and Megatron runs over to the edge of the platform he and Soundwave are still on.]

O: Is that it? You guys were making a big deal about snipers, is that all the snipers there were?

C: “Oh no, there’s snipers!”

O: Oh no?

S: Well, I mean there’s still s- that dude.

[Megatron looks down and snipes the one lone Autobot visible below.]

C: [laughs]

[He shoots another Autobot.]

O: It’s like shooting fish in a barrel, literally! [laughs]

S: You're in a very good spot for that.

[Soundwave: Megatron -- the area is now clear.

Megatron: Let us speak with Brawl, then. I want to hear how my war is going.]

O: [snorts] Pharsing? [laughs] Okay.

[Megatron jumps down and checks the nearby nooks and crannies for items, picking up a shield in the process.

(COM) Brawl: Waiting for your orders, Megatron...]

O: Hey Brawl, how’s the explosions?

[Megatron runs over to a Decepticon standing on a platform in the middle the area.]

O: Are you Brawl? No you’re not. Where is Brawl?

[Megatron turns to his left and heads towards where the quest marker is indicating.]

O: Probably where the blue arrow is indicating, huh? [laughs]

C: “I am generic cep- Decepticon 75.”

O: [coughs and then laughs] “I am honored you thought I was Brawl, however!”

[Megatron smashes an ammo chest and walks over to the stairs Brawl is standing on.

Brawl: Lord Megatron!

Megatron: Report, Brawl.

Brawl: The Autobots are dug in and our precious air commander won’t provide support!]

O: [snorts]

[Megatron: Enough excuses! Where is Zeta Prime?]

O: [laughs] Color me surprised! Shocked even!

[Brawl: He’s just beyond those doors, Lord Megatron!

Megatron: Witness the power of Dark Energon!

Megatron walks over to some large stairs on his left and uses Dark Energon when prompted.]

C: So, is it only through the power of Dark Energon that they've been able to just do all this and kind of… hack Cybertron?

O: I think? Maybe?

[Nothing happens.

Megatron: Impossible!

A large hologram of Zeta Prime materializes in front of the door.

Zeta Prime: It will take more than a speck of Dark Energon to breach the armor of our Vaults.]

C: OHHHHHH!

O: [laughs]

[Zeta Prime: Surrender now, Megatron and I will consider sparing your life.]

C: OHHHHHH!

[Megatron: You dare threaten me!?! ME?!?

Megatron shoots at hologram, ineffectively.]

C & O: [laugh]

[Zeta Prime: So be it, Megatron. I leave you to your own… futility.]

S: You know, his helmet is surprisingly Galvatron shaped.

O: Yeah, the irony is kinda funny.

[Breakdown: Oh great -- here we go…]

O: Alright.

[Megatron: [yelling] Brawl, call in the Dark Energon bombers!]

C: Oh, Megatron’s mad.

O: PISSED.

[Brawl: But Megatron, there’s too much firepower -

Megatron: DO AS I HAVE ORDERED, BRAWL!

Brawl: Yes, Megatron. Bombers, target these coordinates! Everyone else -- CLEAR THE STREET!]

O: “Yes, Lord Megatron. Right away, Lord Megatron. Please don't take off my head, Lord Megatron.”

[Megatron transforms and drives into an area where the Decepticons are sheltering from the bombers, he passes by several Decepticon grunts as he heads towards some stairs.

Sensible Decepticon: Look! It’s Megatron!

Decepticon With A Death Wish: About time. Why’d he show up so late?

Sensible Decepticon: Shut UP! You trying to get us both killed?]

C: I assume the guy on the projector was Omega Supreme?

O: No, no-no-no-no. That was-

S: Sentinel Prime?

O: -Sentinel Prime.

[Note: Despite his name literally being on the screen less then a minute ago, we’re both wrong, it’s Zeta Prime.]

C: I see.

[In-game cinematic: Two Decepticon bombers drop into frame flying over the area the party just vacated.

Brawl: Bombers inbound!]

O: Omega Supreme is HUGE. Like, he is, I think, the final boss for the Decepticon campaign, and he’s HUGE.

C: Oh! He’s the one that turns into the- the base.

O & S: Yeah.

C: Okay, I’m sorry.

[The bombers are quickly shoot by anti-aircraft guns and go down, crashing into buildings. The camera returns to Megatron. One of the downed ships is burning right in front of him.

Breakdown: Well, THAT was a complete disaster.]

Megatron: Silence! Obviously our bombers are incompetent!]

O: [laughs]

S: Yeah, I think in the Autobot campaign it's Trypticon, that's the final boss, maybe?

O: Yeah, yeah, it’s Trypticon.

[Brawl: Lord Megatron -- if I may make a suggestions? Disabling the anti-aircraft guns would open the way for our air support...

Megatron: An excellent though, Brawl. Carry it out.

New Objective, “Disable the anti-aircraft guns,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.]

C: Wait. They called for air support and the plane flew into the wall?

[Megatron heads to his left, stopping on the edge of a drop off. The Autobots and Decepticons are in a fire fight.

Brawl: Decepticons! Take those guns!]

O: Ehh, the- the anti-aircraft guns took it out.

C: Oh.

O: So they’re like, “Take out those guns and that’ll help!” and you’re like, “No shit!”

[Megatron begins sniping Autobots who are on another ridge across from the platform he’s standing on.

Megatron: We got another one!]

C: Wait… are the machines flying other non-transforming machine?

O: Yes.

S: Uh, probably. It’s also-

C: Is that normal?

O: Yes.

S: Yeah… It's also entirely possible that they could be uh, flying Transformers that are actually transformed, or dead.

C: Yikes.

O: Well... I mean that’s kind of what they do with Trypticon later, it’s not that weird, unfortunately.

[Megatron moves closer to the Autobot occupied area.]

C: Yeah.

S: I mean, it’s what they did in More Than Meets the Eye after uh…

O: Oh, yeah!

S: Yeah, the- the Necrobot’s base.

O: They're like, “Oh shit, we have no ship to get off we're just gonna take this Decepticon, mass shift him and fly his dead corpse off planet.” [laughs]

C: [laughs]

S: Yeah.

O: Like, I'm not even paraphrasing or exaggerating-

S: That’s pretty much just…

O: Pretty much, yeah.

S: Pretty much what they did.

[Megatron pauses and looks behind him at the firefight before entering a doorway on his left and following a path upwards towards where the anti-aircraft gun are located.]

C: Megatron’s like, “Ehhh, you guys got that.”

[Megatron enters a room that has two large windows on the left side. Two Decepticons grunts are firing back at Autobots inside.

Breakdown: Turrets! They’re gonna chop us to pieces!

Megatron: No one turns back! Destroy those guns by ANY means necessary!]

O: Or take them, maybe?

[Brawl: You heard Lord Megatron! Decepticons -- lay down cover fire while we take that building!

Megatron takes cover behind the pillars next to the windows and door and snipes various Autobots, some snipers, and some stationed at turrets.]

C: Ultra Magnus. That's who I was thinking uh, Omega Supreme was for some reason.

O: [laughs]

S: Oh...

O: Wow, that was wildly inaccurate!

S: Yeah.

[Megatron continues sniping Autobots, butsome turrets he already cleared out are being manned by Autobots again…]

C: Right? I think it's cuz they're both- they're both- both of their names are like two words?

S: Yeah. I can see that.

[Megatron attempts to back up but is blocked by a Decepticon that is ducking behind him.]

O: [deep voice] “Move, Decepticon!”

C: Right? [laughs] “No! I’m safe here!”

O: [deep voice] “You’re not safe behind me if I decide to shoot you!”

[Megatron: This fate awaits all who oppose me!

Megatron continues to snipe. The Autobots keep spawning in and taking control of the turrets. The nearest turret turns towards Megatron and shoots at him, missing.]

O: Oh my god, why!? Why do you keep spawning? Just stop already!

C: Yeah, the real question is why they're like, “Hmm, well we were shooting down this hallway at the people coming at us maybe if I do it, I’ll fare better than the guy who died last time?

O: Right!?

C: That one at least tried to point the gun at you.

[Megatron shoots at an Autobot but instead of moving in the direction of the gunshot’s momentum he flies backwards out of Megatron’s scope at high speed and hits a large cylindrical object, then slides down and explodes.]

O: [laughs] I love physics! Like, the physics in this is so weird! He just went flying backwards. [laughs]

C: But yeah, they're like, “Hmm, someone from the side is shooting us. Oh well, I’ll just run and grab this gun!”

[After sniping a few more Autobots Megatron runs out of the room and up stairs to his right. An Autobot sitting in a turret on one of the stairway landings leaves his turret and tries to attack the party, but gets a Fusion Cannon to the face.]

O: I think I’m supposed to be going up there without uh, killing all of them.

[Autobot: We’ve got to protect the anti-air guns!

Brawl: Now! Hit the Autobots while they’re distracted!

The party continues upwards and into a dimly lit corridor before ascending more stairs. They pass by a glitching Zeta Prime hologram.]

O: Like, maybe- maybe I'm supposed to be moving, but I- I like my idea better. They just keep coming because they’re idiots.

[Megatron reaches a console and activates it, opening a door to his right that leads back outside. Seeing a health chest he runs over and smashes it, despite still having a shield left.]

O: I don’t know why I hit that, I don’t need that either.

[There is a console to Megatron’s right, as well as a nearby Autobot who has his back to him. Megatron runs over to the console, but no UI displays as he runs around the console.]

C: These are not working computer.

[Megatron runs over to the oblivious Autobot and smashes him with his melee attack.]

C: [laughs]

[Megatron: There! The gun controls!]

O: [laughs] Yes! I know! I was trying to hit them, Megs!

[Megatron returns to the console, having to wait for his dialogue to complete before finally being given the option to interact with the console and planting a detpak on it.]

C: You had to smash that guy over the head first.

O: Ey- ust Megatron really wanted to smash that guy over the head.

[The detpak explodes, and the console swaps over from Autobot red to Decepticon purple, complete with Decepticon insignia on it’s screen. Dark Energon begins forming on the nearby anti-aircraft gun. Megatron turns back to the console, which is now also being consumed by Dark Energon crystals.]

O: Okay, so now we've got Dark Energon infecting the aircraft guns… and everything else to be honest.

[Breakdown: Niiiice! Takes one gun to blow up the other!

Soundwave: Megatron -- the controls are overloading.

Purple electricity begins coming off the console, and Dark Energon begins taking over a nearby wall.]

O: The Dark Energon’s too much!

[Megatron: Move, Decepticons!

Megatron jumps off the platform to the ground below, transforming in midair and driving little ways before returning to bot mode and looking back up at the anti-aircraft gun. The console explodes.]

S: Oh, and this is very hectic.

[Breakdown: That almost punched our tickets! I thought Dark Energon was on our side?]

O: [snorts]

[Megatron: Brawl -- call in the bombers.

Dark Energon still covers the anti-aircraft guns and surface near it but doesn’t appear to moving out any further.]

O: [laughs] Megatron’s like, “Moving on.”

C: Right-

[Megatron wanders around the nearby area while Brawl coms Starscream.

Brawl: Transmitting the coordinates…

Starscream (COM): Brawl, this is Starscream! Your request is denied. I won’t have you wasting more of my ships!]

O: Oh god...

S: Dark Energon does not give a shit.

O: Neither does Megatron in about 3 seconds!

S: Pretty much.

[Megatron: I see. When did they become YOUR ships, Starscream?]

S: Mmmmmm!

[Starscream (COM): Oh -- Lord Megatron! I didn’t realize YOU were there!]

O: [laughs] I mean, “Yes!”

[Starscream (COM): Air support request approved -- but it will be a few cycles before the bombers can reach you. I’m afraid you’ll just have to be patient.

Brawl: We’ve got Autobot reinforcements headed our way!]

C: When did Starscream grow a spine!?

O: Right!?!

S: Apparently, when the booty call turned out to be unsatisfying.

[Megatron: I shall make you pay for this, Starscream. Decepticons -- hold your positions until the bombers arrive!

Megatron takes control of a nearby turret and begins shooting at the Autobot reinforcements below.

New Objective, “Defend the anti-aircraft guns,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.]

O: Yeah, are we assuming that already happened and he was not satisfied with how that went? I mean...

S: Either that or he's pissed off that Megatron did not notice him.

O: [laughs] He didn’t comment on how pretty and shiny he was the last time they met.

[Brawl: Snipers on the bridge, Megatron!

Megatron aims the turret upwards and targets the Autobots that appeared on the bridge. After they are destroyed he resumes shooting at Autobots on the ground who have decided to court death and are aiming directly at him.]

O: Hey, Chezni, you still there?

C: Oh, yeah.

O: Okay.

C: Sorry, uh, I think I was talking earlier wasn't I?

S: Maybe?

O: Uh, maybe I’m not paying enough attention.

[All the Autobots are destroyed.

Breakdown: That’s it?!? We beat ‘em?

Brawl: No, no, no… there’s NO way the Autobots would give up that easily.]

C: I might have been cutting out through Discord, I’m not sure.

[Megatron: Agreed, Brawl. Everyone hold fast and stay alert.

Breakdown: On the roof over there! More Autobots!]

O: Strangely quiet as those lasers are being fired over there.

[Megatron attempts to turn to the Autobots who have spawned in on his left, but is restricted by the turret he’s on which doesn’t turn far enough. Megatron hops out of the turret and begins sniping the enemy Autobots.

Decepticon: Autobot ground vehicle approaching!]

Megatron: We got another one!]

C: I was just so mesmerized by watching the machine gun fire.

O: [laughs]

C: It was addicting to watch.

O: Cuz machine guns make you happy.

C: Yes!

[Brawl: They’re firing from the windows!

Megatron continues firing at Autobots, periodically more drop down from the roof onto the balcony area the rest are shooting from.]

C: It's actually quite satisfying every time to see uh, Owls zoom in and just shoot things.

O: Well, I’m glad your entertained!

[One of the large Autobots with a machine gun walks out and Megatron begins shooting it. Unfortunately, it does not die in one hit so Megatron continues to shoot it.]

O: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

C: That one's less satisfying! It's not dying.

O: Ah what-

C: Make it die!

O: [laughs] “Make it die!”

[The large Autobot is vanquished! Megatron swaps to his Fusion Cannon and begins shooting the other nearby Autobots.]

O: This is why I like the things- I- I like the- the weapons that kill them in one hit, ya know?

C: Yeah.

[Breakdown: The Autobots just keep coming!]

C: Specs, what's your uh, favorite weapon of choice?

[Brawl: Jets attacking from above!

Megatron picks up the turret gun dropped by the large Autobot and turns to his right, targeting a group of Aerialbots.]

S: I... don't think I actually have a preference for any of the weapons, because I'm not good with sniper rifles… Um, I mostly just a spray-and-pray sort of…

O: So, machine guns?

S: Yeah.

C: Yeah, I'm hearing machine guns.

[Megatron continues his machine gun Aerialbot rampage.

Megatron: All shall fall before Megatron!]

C: Actually, I think that lines up as well uh, with uh, previous levels that you played. I remember see you get uh...

[Breakdown: Blast those Autobot junk-heaps on the bridge!

The pilfered turret runs out of ammo and Megatron swaps back to his Fusion Cannon.]

S: Yeah, I think I mostly had machine guns. Either that or- well, uh, playing with the mealy weapons- or melee.

C: [laughs] I like to stab!

O: [snorts]

S: Yes.

[Megatron runs over to another mounted turret and takes aim at more Aerialbots.]

O: [laughs] I’m a talking car!

S: [laughs] Well, when I remember to transform.

C: Yeah! As funny as it sounds in a Transformers game.

O: [laughs] You kinda forget you can do it.

S: Yeah.

[Two large turret carrying Autobots appear on the distant bridge. Megatron shoots them but they persist in living.]

O: Oh my god, will you die already!?

C: Megatron is-

S: I wonder if you can shoot the screen?

C: The screen?

S: Cuz there's a screen that's occasionally-

[Megatron turns to his left where a glitching screen is visible, he shoots it but nothing happens.]

O: Oh.

C: Oh! [laughs]

O: I was like, no, you can’t have it [the gun] face the camera, was the way I was interpreting that in my head.

S: [laughs]

C: Makes me want to-

[One of the two large Autobots finally goes down.]

O: FINALLY! Jesus!

C: Make sure that the canon of uh, the- the plot of um, Megatron vs all Cybertronian ads continue.

O & S: [laugh]

O: I mean… I would be into that-

[Breakdown: We’re gonna get slaughtered!

Megatron: Stop your whining, Breakdown, or I’ll stop it for you.

Brawl: They’re coming from all directions!]

O: -would be funny to me. The real reason um, the real reason Megatron fucking lost it is because he was tired of ads.

[Megatron rips the turret off and begins shooting at snipers that have spawned on the bridge.

Breakdown: Megatron, they’re everywhere! What do we do??]

C: Right.

[Megatron: WE HOLD THEM OFF. The bombers will clear the street when they arrive! Rely on that!]

C: “My fellow Decepticons, do you realize that every day you are assaulted by 20,000 different advertisements? Where’s the decency!?”

O: [laughs] “But they’re all from two ad agencies on the entire planet!”

[Megatron: [laughs manically] ]

S: Oh gosh, that's just making you wonder if someone's done an ad agency AU, where they're basically competing ad agencies instead of competing factions?

[Megatron continues targeting all the large number of Autobots that are now spawning in multiple locations, until runs out of ammo in the turret. He drops the turret.]

O: Fuck that was-

C: Right, Megatron is just busting up the monopoly.

[Breakdown: That’s -- that’s the WHOLE AUTOBOT ARMY! We’ll never--

Brawl: BOMBING RUN WILL COMMENCE IN FIVE… FOUR… THREE… TWO… ONE!

Megatron runs over to another turret but is taken down by Autobot fire.]

O: Crap!

[The Mission Failed screen appeared and Owls selects, “Restart from checkpoint.”]

O: OH MY GOD! I have to do that again! [laughs] I apparently got right to the end but I died.

[The level reloads at the point where all the Aerialbots had started spawning in.

New Objective, “Defend the anti-aircraft guns,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.]

S: Oh, no!

C: Maybe it saved?

[Breakdown: The Autobots just keep coming!

Brawl: Jets attacking from above!]

O: Well, I’m hoping that I don’t have to do all of them again, maybe?

C: Yeah.

S: No, you’re probably going to have to do- kill all of them, again.

[Megatron takes a turret, and begins shooting Aerialbots. This one is revealed to not be a machine gun, but something much more akin to his Fusion Cannon blasts.]

O: This is not a machine gun turret. I did not know these existed!

C: That looks like a fusion gun- cannon turret, thing.

S: Maybe? Yeah, that’s-

O: I mean, I’m okay with this, to be honest. I prefer being- not having to shoot things a billion times.

[Megatron shoots one of the Aerialbots which causes and explosion that takes out two additional nearby Autobots.]

O: And that's very satisfying.

C: Satisfying to watch! I hate using things like this.

O: Well, that’s why you give me all the bigger guns, dear.

C: That is true.

[Breakdown: Blast those Autobot junk-heaps on the bridge!

Two large turret wielding Autobots appear on the bridge, Megatron begins shooting at one of them, while periodically swapping back to take out groups of Aerialbots.]

O: I have better aim than you anyway.

C: Aim!?! What's that?

O: I know.

C: Food?

O: [laughs] You’re like, machine gun, shot gun, what aim? There is no aim, there is only shoot!

[Megatron targets one of the turret Autobots but keeps missing because the Autobot is moving.]

C: Although, you need to aim where they're going to be and not where they are.

O: I KNOOOOW.

C: [laughs]

[One turret Autobot goes down. Megatron takes aim at the other.]

C: At least killing those guys is easier with this thing.

O: Oh, thank you god!

[The second turret Autobot is defeated. Megatron begins taking damage as shoots hit him from below.]

S: Like, this is going a lot faster than the other one did.

O: Who is shooting at me? You are shooting at me.

[Megatron destroys the one lone Autobot on the ground.]

S: They’re from the ground, yeah.

C: A tiny boy.

O: A tiny boy is shooting me. A tiny boy must die.

C: Tiny, dead boy.

O: Tiny, dead boy.

[Breakdown: I’m the fastest thing on four wheels!]

C: [laughs] No one's arguing that point but is that really necessary to bring up right now?

S: Well, I feel like-

[An Autobot gets on the platform with the party and begins shooting. Megatron can’t maneuver the turret to hit him and tries to exit, but instead rips it off.]

O: Argh! I keep hitting the wrong button.

S: He's channeling Dragstrip.

[Breakdown: We’re gonna get slaughtered!

Megatron: Stop your whining, Breakdown, or I’ll stop it for you.]

C: Wait! He goes from, “I’m the fastest thing on two [four] wheels!” to, “We’re gonna get slaughtered!”

[Brawl: They’re coming from all directions!]

O: Oh! I thought an Autobot said that.

[Breakdown: Megatron, they’re everywhere! What do we do??]

C: Oh, did he?

S: Maybe?

O: Maybe I’m wrong. [Yup, I am very wrong. ~O]

[Megatron continues to run around with the Nucleon Shock Cannon shooting as a large number of Autobots spawn in.

Megatron: WE HOLD THEM OFF. The bombers will clear the street when they arrive! Rely on that!]

S: Well, I don’t know- I don't think they have particularly of a wide range of voice actors?

O: Yeah… at least not- certainly not for the little guys.

S: Yeah.

C: Oh, did you rip that thing off?

O: I did. I wasn't trying to.

C: The Nucleon Shock Cannon.

O: Which, apparently, I like much more than the other guns!

[Breakdown: That’s -- that’s the WHOLE AUTOBOT ARMY! We’ll never--

Brawl: BOMBING RUN WILL COMMENCE IN FIVE… FOUR… THREE… TWO… ONE!

An in-game cinematic plays, as the Decepticon bombers finally hit their targets. The party, plus Brawl are standing on a platform, Brawl turns to Megatron.]

S: Well, nucleon makes sense considering uh, what it actually does in the comic canon.

[Breakdown: Wooooo-hoooo! BOOM! Eat THAT, Autobots!

Brawl: The street looks clear, Megatron.]

O: Does it-

C: Wait, so it’s a real thing?

S: Yeah, nucleon is basically a heavy-duty powerup, but it prevents transforming in the Marvel Comics.

O: Huh.

[Brawl: That should’ve blown the Vault doors clear off!

Megatron: Good. Brawl -- remain here and hold this position. The rest of us will move forward and acquire the Omega Key!]

S: And it may, or may not uh… uh, also kind of fuck with them.

[Megatron jumps down from the platform the party has been on during the prior fight. The street below is littered with debris, Dark Energon crystals, and Autobots with varying degrees of damage. A nearby Autobot runs towards Megatron, but trips and Megatron stomps on him.

Autobot: Help… me… Must… fight… Must warn… Zeta Prime...]

S: Cuz, I think like, Grimlock ends up an Action Master because of it. An Action Master as a transformer who doesn't transform.

O: Hmm.

C: Gotcha.

S: It's been a while since I've done anything with… since I’ve read any of those um...

[New Objective, “Enter the Iacon Vaults,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.

Megatron hits Autobots with his melee attack that are on the ground as he heads towards the Iacon Vaults’ entrance.]

C: Are you running around punching corpses!?

S: [laughs]

O: Uh, they were still alive. They were still shooting at me, they had to die.

C: [laughs]

[Megatron runs over to some ammo but is unable to pick it up. He reloads the Null Ray and then picks it up refilling 1 ammo.]

O: I’m taking the one thing of ammo from it, alright? Don’t judge me.

S: Like, nucleon is apparently an actual thing rather than just nucleon in Transformers.

[An in-game cinematic plays as the party reaches the Iacon Vaults. A huge Autobot, 2 to 3 times the height of Megatron bursts out of a wall and lands in front of the party.

Big Autobot: Engaging Decepticons at the Iacon Vaults.

The Autobot moves forward while a Decepticon grunt fires on him, crushing the grunt under his giant feet.

Decepticon: Fall back! Fall back!

The big Autobot then transforms into a big tank.]

S: Oh a giant- !

O: Oh goody.

S: I wonder if that’s-

C: I wanna play as that guy!

[Breakdown: What the-?!? That guy is huge!]

C: Yeah, I want to be that thing!

[Megatron: Split up and flank him! Use the debris for cover!

Megatron fires some tentative shots at the tank but doesn’t appear to be doing any damage. He uses the debris to maneuver around the tank looking for a weak point.

S: Okay- yeah, nucleon is an incredible power- incredibly powerful energy source capable of being used as fuel by a Transformer but though it can give great strength and power and has even revived the non-functional it has terrible side effects to quote uh, the TF Wiki.

C: Alright.

[Breakdown: The tank’s armor is too tough! We gotta find a weak spot!

The tank has a weak point on it’s rear and Megatron unloads several Fusion Cannon rounds into him.]

S: And yeah, one really common side effect is loss of transformation.

[The Autobot transforms back into robot mode. Megatron targets him, and seeing that the reticle turns red on the Autobot’s crotch begins shooting accordingly.]

O: Shoot the crotch!

S: [laughs]

C: Would you be stuck in whatever form you were in when you took it?

S: Um, possibly? Mostly I think they were stuck it in robot mode.

[The party continues firing on the Autobot, who seems to only be targeting Soundwave. Megatron hangs back, transforming into tank mode once his Fusion Cannon ammo runs out and continuing to fire.]

C: Gotcha, and yeah, Owls you are definitely shooting the crotch.

[Megatron: We’ve breached its armor! Now DESTROY IT!]

S: [laughs]

O: The ret- the reticle turned red!

C: [laughs]

O: Don’t judge me!

C: For obvious reasons!

O: Obviously! I'm sorry Soundwave, but I'm really glad you say aiming at you and not me. [laughs]

C: Soundwave’s over there just going, “OH MY GOD, WHAT’S GOING ON!?!” [laughs]

[The Autobot if finally taken down after 8 tank rounds are unloaded into the crotch area, he then explodes.

Soundwave: Megatron -- the tank has been rendered non-functional.]

C: I mean, “Didn’t even break a sweat, thanks boss.”

O: [laughs]

[Breakdown: You see that? *I* did that. ALL. Me.]

C: Ohhhh my god.

O: Breakdown, Breakdown are- do you want to die?

[Megatron picks up some nearby ammo.

Megatron: A brilliant addition to my arsenal!

He then walks forward, towards where Breakdown and Soundwave are waiting next to the vault entrance.

Megatron: Onward, Decepticons. Into the Vaults!]

S: Well-

O: “You know what? You know what I'm having for dinner tonight? Your ass.” [laughs]

C: [laughs]

S: Dead End is the one with the death wish.

O: Yeah…

[Megatron walks up to some debris blocking the vault entrance and plants a detpak on it.]

C: Wait, who's Dead End?

S: Another Stunticon, he sounds very British in the G1 cartoon.

[The detpak explodes and the party enters the Vaults. Debris litters the floor, and just inside a hologram of Zeta Prime appears.

Zeta Prime: Megatron. My, you are a persistent one! But breaking into my Vaults?!? You’ve overstepped yourself.]

O: Yeah, I don't really remember him I only know him because you like him.

S: He's a Porsche [Porsch]- or a Porsche [Por-shuh].

O: That’s funny. [laughs] Why- like-

S: Breakdown’s a Lamborghini. Yes?

O: Were the Stunticons the ones Starscream made?

[Megatron: I won’t waste words with you, Zeta Prime. Give me the Omega Key, and I may spare what’s left of your city.

New Objective, “Find the Omega Key,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.]

S: No, that was um, the Combaticons.

O: Gotcha.

S: The Stunticons are the ones that uh, Megatron stole like, the key to Vector Sigma for.

O: Right, right. I know there was something. Like they were created somehow.

S: Yeah.

[Megatron shoots a large piece of debris that is still barely connected to ceiling. It falls and creates a hole in the floor. The party jumps through.]

C: You know, they should make Con-a-cons. Cons that were made specifically for cons?

[A large Zeta Prime hologram appears to the right of the party.

Zeta Prime: The Omega Key will NEVER be yours Megatron.]

S: [quietly] God.

O: [laughs] Why are you like this, Chezni?

[Megatron: I look forward to debating that with you IN PERSON.]

O: [snorts]

[Decepticon: Lord Megatron! Help!

Megatron heads down some stairs on the left.]

C: They'd be great at cons!

O: I think Starscre- or I think Megatron’s like the worst customer, like, [deep voice] “I will come into your store and you WILL process this return!”

A: [laugh]

O: “Or so help me, Primus!”

[The party enters a room where a Decepticon grunt is visible behind a large glass-like barrier in front of them.

Breakdown: Zeta’s got one of our guys trapped!

A reddish insignia appears on the ground underneath the grunts feet.

Breakdown: Look at the floor! What’s Zeta up to?]

C: “You will give me a refund of $39.99!”

O: Right.

C: “Uh, sir, that's not how this works!” “I don't think you understand you will give me a refund.”

O: [laughs] Right? Seems- seems accurate

[A large pillar of metal slams down as the grunt throws himself forward avoiding it. Another insignia appears under where he is currently standing.

Decepticon: Hey -- I’m still functional! I’M STILL F--

The Decepticon waves to the party before being smashed by another pillar.

Megatron: Idiot. Decepticons! Onward!

Zeta Prime: You cannot hope to overcome my defenses, Megatron!

The party enters a hallway on their left. It is lit with reddish lights on the walls, and a circular doorway is visible on the far end. Megatron walks forward and the reddish insignia from before appears underneath his feet. An insignia also appears further down the hallway, but Megatron transforms and drives to the clear area between the two.]

C: Also, did somebody get flattened?

O: Yup!

S: Yes.

[The large pillars smash down where the insignias were.

Megatron: Your pathetic machinery won’t stop me, Zeta Prime!]

C: Oh, geez!

O: Which is why I’m waiting until that one-

[Another insignia appears where Megatron is standing. He quickly drives as ahead as the pillar in front of him slowly rises.

Breakdown: Watch out, Megatron! You’re gonna get smushed!]

C & S: [laugh]

O: Bitch, I've done this before!

[Megatron reaches the door, and returns to robot mode. A hologram of Zeta Prime appears in front of the door. Megatron smashes some nearby chests and picks up ammo while Zeta talks.

Zeta Prime : Come no further, Megatron! The sacred Vaults are no place for your tainted spark.]

C: Breakdown said sm- he didn't say smashed or flattened, he said-

C & O: ‘Smushed!’

O: [laughs]

S: Yes.

[Megatron: Nothing is sacred to me, Zeta Prime. You should have realized that by now. Decepticons!]

C: ‘Smooshed.’

O: [laughs] He- he baby.

C: [laughs]

S: Smoosh, smoosh, smoosh.

O: Smoosh, smoosh. Breakdown, baby. [laughs]

[Zeta Prime’s hologram disappears and Megatron uses Dark Energon on the door.]

O: It's just funnier when I try to connect that this eventually became the Breakdown in Prime.

C: Oh, yeah!

[The doorway is destroyed, and Dark Energon crystals form in the general vicinity. A room with a lone dais in the center is revealed.]

O: Because same continuity and all, and my brain hurts.

C: Is he the one who loses the eye?

O: Yup!

S: Yup.

O: Same character, supposedly.

[An in-game cinematic begins. The party enters the room and Megatron walks up to the dais, reaching towards the large key-like object that is floating on it. The dais suddenly sinks into the floor and the key flies off.

Megatron: Finally! The Omega Key is within my - What?!?]

O: [yells] Ah! [laughs] Yoink!

[Zeta Prime rises from a large platform in the back of the room and catches the key.

Zeta Prime: Did you really think it would be that easy?]

C: “I’ll be taking that.”

[Megatron points at Zeta Prime.

Megatron: Come down HERE, Zeta Prime, and I will give you the answer!]

C & O: [laugh]

[Zeta Prime: I shall remain where I am -- this vantage point will provide an excellent view of your destruction.

A dome shaped barrier appears around Zeta. He remains still with the key floating next to him as the room begins to change around the party. A large number of pillars lift up revealing a much larger room. The large room is circular, with Zeta Prime in the center.]

C: “You don’t understand, Megatron. I'm this level's boss! I wait in a room while you dispatch all of my minions-”

O: [laughs]

[A large dome shaped metal object above Zeta’s own little barrier dome generates a massive hologram of Zeta Prime from the chest up. The hologram’s movements match the real Zeta’s below.

New Objective, “Defeat Zeta Prime,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.

Zeta Prime: My will controls this entire chamber, Megatron. I need only close my hand to crush the life out of you!

Megatron transforms and begins driving around Zeta.]

C: He’s acting like he’s so tough! But he’s standing in a bubble!

O: Okay, I remember this. I remember this, oh no, I remember this.

[Breakdown: The floor is glowing! It’s everywhere! He’s gonna smash us!

The floor beneath Megatron begins glowing red, as he tries to get out of range but isn’t quick enough and gets smashed by a pillar.]

O: Uh...

C: Oh no, the floor is lava!

[The Mission Failed screen appears.]

C: Oh, geez!

O: I did not move fast enough.

[Owls selects, “Restart From Last Checkpoint,” and the game reloads.]

S: That’s concerning.

O: [laughs] Noooo, no.

[The same cinematic as before plays.

Owls pauses, and unpauses a few times looking for skip option.

Megatron: Finally! The Omega Key is within my - What?!?]

O: Can- can I skip this?

O: No? Am I just gonna have to watch this a zillion times? No.

C: You know what-

S: I think you just have to be-

[The cinematic is skipped and the battle begins.

New Objective, “Defeat Zeta Prime,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.

Zeta Prime: My will controls this entire chamber, Megatron. I need only close my hand to crush the life out of you!

Megatron transforms into vehicle mode.]

C: -they spent a lot of time on that cinematic, you’re gonna watch it!

O: Zeta Prime spent a lot of time on that hologram to make him super buff.

C: Right?

[Breakdown: The floor is glowing! It’s everywhere! He’s gonna smash us!

Megatron successfully evades the pillar this time. The pillar is reveals to be two pillars that effectively cover the entire distance from Zeta to the wall in a straight line.

The way the pillars in this fight work is that there are two rings of them, one inner ring immediately around Zeta’s little bubble and another outer ring going around.]

O: Yes, I got that much.

[Zeta continues to bring down more pillars, in two sets of two. Imagine it as if you were drawing a line through the center of a circle, and that’s the pattern the pillars are falling in.]

C: So, wait, so he's not even smashing you with a hologram? He's just smashing with random metal things.

O: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but he's still posing with the hologram, you know?

C: Yeah.

O: That part is important!

C: Right? And I know this is probably a stupid question, but why doesn't he just make all of them come down to the same time!?

[Zeta Prime: Do you see now, Megatron? This is my domain.]

O: Because he wants to feel powerful.

C: I think he can’t-

[Megatron transforms into robot mode.

Megatron: Your theatrics don’t frighten me, Zeta.]

O: I agree! I agree, that I think they ARE theatrics!

C: Yeah!

[Zeta Prime: Here, I have the power to control… and create…

Several life sized Zeta Prime holograms appear and begin attacking the party who fight back.]

C: Now he's gonna make his tiny boys come after, you even though he's sit- he's sitting there safe in that bubble!

[Zeta Prime brings down three of the inner pillars briefly before they are lifted back up. The remaining Zeta clones are dispatched.

Megatron: Endless duplicates of Zeta Prime - how nauseating!

Megatron picks up ammo that was dropped by the clones.]

O: I’m just saying, not all the time does Megatron have no reason to be mad at the Autobots, you know?

C: Yeah.

O: When their leaders are like this, he's got a point.

C: Also, wait, are those fake Autobots?

O: They’re his holograms.

S: Apparently he just does stuff with solid light holograms.

C: Right!?

[Megatron: Is that all, Zeta? A pathetic army of energon clones? Is that the best you can do?]

O: [snorts]

C: Oh, energon clones.

[Zeta Prime: HAHAHAHA! You have NO idea! Here, I have limitless power!]

C: So that’s what Megatron did in G1…

O: Huh?

[Soundwave: Megatron, we may be able to damage Zeta’s machinery during its recharge cycle.

The metal dome above Zeta opens up revealing a large reddish-orange core. The party begins firing at it.]

C: With all those clones of everyone he has-

O: OH. Well, I don’t they’re holograms, unfortunately.

[Breakdown: Blasting his shield won’t work!

The metal closes in around the core again.

Zeta Prime: A valiant attempt, Decepticons, but Autobot machinery is more resilient than you realize.]

C: No, no, I know, they don't have their shininess.

O: [laughs]

[Soundwave: Alert. ALERT. Zeta Prime is modifying the room.

The floor below Megatron begins glows he begins walking away from it but is smashed by a pillar.]

O: Oh come on! I thought I’d gotten away...

[The Mission Failed screen displays. Owls selects, “Restart From Last Checkpoint,” and the game reloads right after they’d damaged the core.

New Objective, “Defeat Zeta Prime,” displays briefly on the right side of the screen.

Zeta Prime: A valiant attempt, Decepticons, but Autobot machinery is more resilient than you realize.]

C: Yeah, I didn’t quite catch what hit you.

O: It was another smashy thing.

C: Oh.

O: Thankful it saved, so I don’t have to do all of that again.

[Breakdown: Ceiling’s coming down! Get away from the mashers!

Zeta brings the outer ring of pillars down one at a time, Megatron moves into the interior to avoid them.]

C: So Specs, what is- what is Zeta Prime usually do? I actually haven't really seen anything with Zeta Prime.

S: Uh, Zeta Prime is actually not a character I remember seeing very much about, he’s probably just one of the-

O: Well, he can bring them all down, Chezni.

C: Oh.

O: Oh shit.

[The floor under the inner ring begins glowing and the party tries to stay ahead of them to avoid getting smashed. They eventually reach a gap where an exterior ring was either not brought down or has already been raised and exit into the gap.]

C: He just can’t bring them down when they’re close to you, oh. No, I'm dumb I just now realized the red markings on the floor indicate he's going to bring them down.

O: [laughs]

C: Just now. I am- you are probably very happy that we are not playing with you.

[Zeta Prime raises all the pillars and generates more clones of himself.

Breakdown: How can we win if he keeps making more clones?!?]

O: [laughs] You would have gotten crushed so many times.

C: Yes.

S: Okay, Zeta Prime is apparently from the original Transformers cartoon, from the third season, I think. But I don't think he had a very uh, big part I think he's mostly from um, the ID- the 2005 IDW continuity.

[Zeta Prime brings down more pillars in the inner ring, but misses the party and they are raised again.

Soundwave: The Energon composition of these clones is remarkable.

Breakdown: You can be a SUCH a nerd, Soundwave!]

O: [snorts]

[Soundwave: Megatron -- Zeta Prime’s machine core is now vulnerable.

The machine core is visible again, and the party fires on it.]

C: Gotcha.

O: Is he a bastard in that one too?

[Soundwave: Zeta Prime’s shield has proven impenetrable.]

S: Mm, well, I don't think he’s, like, a bastard in the Marvel com- or not Marvel, ugh.

O: In G1.

[The core is hidden again and the screen shakes as something above the party explodes, small debris falls around them.

Megatron: Your machine is failing, Zeta Prime. Where are your boasts now?]

S: Yeah, in the original G1 cartoon, but yeah IDW, he’s definitely an asshole.

[Zeta Prime: The battle is far from over, Decepticon! Prepare for destruction!]

O: All the Primes in IDW were assholes, even Prime! Er, or even Optimus.

S: Yeah. Yeah.

C: Yikes.

[Zeta Prime: Stay off the glowing floors if you wish to live!]

Zeta Prime begins bringing down pillars 2 at a time, effectively moving to cover the entire room. Megatron transforms into vehicle mode and manages to stay ahead of the glowing floors.

C: Also, rewind- did Breakdown say, “You are such a nerd Soundwave”?

O: Yes.

[Zeta Prime lifts all the pillars and generates a bunch more clones for the party to fight. Explosions continue to rock the room.

Zeta Prime: I can easily create more energon clones! You WILL be destroyed!]

C: He’s lucky it's not the Soundwave from Prime.

O: Well, I mean it is, technically.

C: OH GOSH, right.

S: Technically, yes. Except he gets a very heavy-duty makeover before Prime.

O: Well- well, I think the- the sort of running implication is that he got very heavily damaged at some point before the start of Prime.

S: Well, it counts as a heavy-duty makeover.

[The party continues to fight clones while also dodging the various pillars that Zeta Prime keeps slamming into the floor. White electricity is briefly visible on the floor while the explosions continue.

Soundwave: The Energon composition of these clones is remarkable.

Breakdown: You can be a SUCH a nerd, Soundwave!

C: Then he scanned a what, a stealth drone?

O: Yeah.

S: Yeah.

O: I still think if you’re gonna give him a vehicle mode, I think that’s a really good vehicle mode for Soundwave.

[Breakdown: Shoot the big glowy thing! SHOOT IT!!

The machine core opens up again and the party fires.]

C: [laughs]

O: Thanks, Breakdown.

S: Ahhh…

O: Thanks, baby. You’re tryin’, baby.

S: That’s- that’s super helpful.

C: Hashtag, “shoot the glowy thing.”

[Zeta Prime: No! Systems failing… this cannot be!

Zeta appears to make a last ditch effort to drop all the pillars but is foiled by a cinematic.]

O: Oh, yes it can!

C: He’s like, “No! How could you kill me while I sat here in my bubble!?”

O & S: [laugh]

O: “Not so tough now, are ya?”

[Zeta Prime’s barrier has dissipated, he stands on his platform while metal from his machine rains down around him. He falls, partially trapped under some debris. Megatron walks over and picks him up with one hand so they’re mostly facing each other eye to eye.

Zeta Prime: Finish it!

Megatron pushes his fist into Zeta Prime’s chest, causing him to drop the Omega key.]

C: Woah!

O: You were saying? I’ll take that key, and your spark, and I’m done.

[Zeta Prime: [screams]

Megatron: The Omega Key is mine! The Core of Cybertron is mine!

Megatron catches the key and slams Zeta Prime back onto the ground. The camera zooms in on the key in Megatron’s hand as a single light in the middle begins blinking red.]

C: Eh- eh?

S: I think there’s going to be some boom.

[Zeta Prime is lying on the ground, twitching.

Zeta Prime: [laughs] Your spies were misinformed, Megatron. That device only activates the key to the core. But don’t worry, the Omega Key will come to you.]

C: You can still talk!?

[The screen cuts to a different cinematic that pans over the face of a huge Autobot as his optics come online.

Omega Supreme: Omega: Activated. Power: Optimal.]

C: Oh, snap!

[More shots of Omega Supreme’s systems coming online as his Autobot badge is prominently displayed.

Omega Supreme: Mission: Destroy Megatron.

In the final shot, Omega Supreme is his vehicle mode, which is a large aircraft, and he takes to the air.]

S: Well, they've definitely got he has speech pattern right.

O: Yup, and he a big boi.

S: Yes, he is.

O: [laughs] Thanks for watching guys, hopefully, that's still fun even though there's not you know, three of us idiots running around. There is only but one idiot running around. Uh, and um, again, I’m sad I can’t play as Soundwave, but join us next time for chapter 4, Death of Hope.

S: Nice.

O: I’m Owls.

S: I’m Specs.

C: I’m Chezni.

O: Have a good day!

[Outro Music]

#transcript #wfc #war for cybertron #wfc episode 3 #transformers wfc #video games #let's play

0 notes

moodymindymusereactions · 7 years

Text

When their s/o sends them a pic of their newly pierced nipples and asks for a massage because they hurt

This was fun to write...I think I made it dirtier than it was supposed to be, but...I hope you still like it!

Suho:

There’s a lot going on here. Let’s just put it that way. He’s barely holding it together. He will go through a myriad of emotions before settling on one. Junmyeon seems like a traditional type of guy, someone who is well put together, holds himself gracefully, and is otherwise usually unruffled. You sending him a picture of your naked upper body with the new bling is going to take his mind for a wild ride. At first, he’ll stare at the picture, frozen and trying to comprehend what he’s seeing, then his face will go red, his eyes will get real big and his jaw will probably drop. First comes surprise (probably shell shock), then it’s bewilderment. He’ll glance around to see where other people are. This picture is for him alone. There’s no way in hell he’s going to share this with anyone and god help the unfortunate soul that gets a peek. He’s going to wonder just what the hell you were thinking getting them pierced in the first place...but then the OTHER side of his brain kicks in and suddenly he’s very aroused. Mind you he hasn’t even really read the text you sent along with the picture. When he does, the whole process starts over again, only faster. By the time he reaches ‘holy shit that’s hot’, he’s empty inside. He can’t leave. He’s the leader. He has to stay until practice is over. You can bet he’ll push the guys harder, wanting to hurry up and get rid of the imperfections in their dance so they can all go home. Let’s just say, by the time he’s through the door, you had better not have a shirt on. “You’ve been very mischievous, Jagiyah. You’re going to have to pay for that.”

Xiumin:

It takes him less time to get to aroused than Junmyeon. In fact, he read the text message and took in the picture all at the same time and now his brain is malfunctioning. Minseok has one hell of a poker face so you can bet that if he was out with the guys on a schedule or in the practice room/recording studio, they’ll be none the wiser. He’ll send you a scathing text back, warning you about being a bad girl/boy, before channeling his frustration into whatever he’s doing. He might even have to step into the bathroom if he has the time. You know, just to put himself back together ;). In any case, he’s not going to let this slide, just so you know. The second he gets home you’re going to regret sending such a risque picture and text. For some reason, I can see him being super into nipple piercings. Like he can live without them, but now that you have them, a whole new world has opened up in front of him. Now, if (and it’s a big if cuz, like, it’s Minseok) you weren’t in the mood for a little something something, because you’re actually in pain and not fucking with him, Minseok would be more than happy to comply with your earlier request. He’ll hold it against you the next time he gets you in the bedroom, though. It takes immense about of resolve to not ravish you right then and there. “You are such a naughty, naughty boy/girl. You are so lucky I love you.”

Lay:

Okay, this guy has the quickest turn around time from cute to sexy. Let’s not pretend that isn’t true, alright? Honesty is the best policy. Yixing is one of those types that doesn’t actually realize half the shit he does is problematic. Like who does he think he is for giving us those cute af eyes and being all pouty and then the next second licking his lips while running his hand through his hair? PROBLEMATIC. And he ain’t even my bias. Honestly, I see his s/o pulling this stunt simply to get back at the guy for trying to kill them with his .2 second bullshit. Sweet revenge! Let me tell you, this would be an epic way to get back at him. You know the face! You know which one I’m talking about! He’ll make THAT face, mouth open and eyes as big as saucers. He’ll feel so attacked! Like, how could you even?! Karma, sir, karma! He would do his best to ignore the picture, not even replying back, but he won’t last for long. Every time he tries to get through the sexier parts of whatever dance he’s doing, he’s not going to be able to get you out of his head. It’s going to drive him up the wall and out the door! He’ll be at your door before you know it, demanding to know why the hell you’re like this cuz PROBLEMATIC! He’s got a problem, you’ve got a problem, and the two of you combined I’m sure can come to a solution. Don’t do this to him while he’s away. Like, please. He’ll go nuts! “Why, Baobei! Why would you send me this picture? How could you be so cruel?” “Cruel? You send me half naked pictures all the time! WHO ARE YOU KIDDING?!”

Baekhyun:

Okay, I’m just going to throw this out there. Not a good idea. Please, for all that is good in the world, please do not tease the bull. He’s a Taurus, people, a Taurus! Do Not Tease The Taurus! He has more stamina and more sass than you on any given day. I’m just saying. It’s for your own safety. But, I guess for reaction sake, say you are a glutton for pain and you do send him a picture of your chest with your freshly pierced nipples. This guy is going to have a silent meltdown in his brain. If he can get out of whatever schedule he has, he will. You had better hope he can, cuz the longer he has to wait to get home to you, the longer you’re going to be up that night. If he doesn’t sleep, neither will you. I'M JUST SAYING! Baekhyun strikes me as a guy that likes to appreciate the human body, take his time with it. You adding some bling is only going to excite him more. Asking him to massage your sore chest is a given. This guy didn’t need to read your text. He was already planning to put his hands right there as soon as he gets home. The lovely thing about Baekhyun is that despite how intensely horny he probably is, he’s a gentle soul. A lot of people seem to think he goes balls to the walls, and while I don’t necessarily disagree, I doubt that’s him 100% of the time. This one is a lover first and foremost. He’s going to be so careful with you, so soft and gentle. Look, all I’m saying is when you get a nice new pillow or a new pillow case, you want to try it out, right? Roll around on hit, caress it? Baekhyun is no different. “J-jagi, you didn’t…” *eyes wide, hand over mouth* *takes in deep breath* “Just you wait, Jagiyah, I won’t forget this.” (he really won’t btw)

Chen:

I know I say this a lot, but like King Troll! Even if you sending that picture was with the most innocent intentions, this guy can’t help himself. Jongdae is someone I imagine has a lot of restraint. He just strikes me as a very patient person. Perhaps that comes from the countless times we’ve heard from Sehun and other members about the way he mother’s them endlessly, but let’s be honest, the guy has to have a lot of patience to mother that group of grown ass men, plus be a full time beagle. That’s pranks galore. Virgos by nature aren’t ones for immediate retaliation unless the opportunity is golden and in front of them. They like to take their time when plotting the demise of a loved one and/or close friend. Anyway, you can expect a verbal barrage of witty comments. “Oh ho! Are you implying something” or “The committee is out! What’s the verdict?” Anything playful and the complete opposite of what you’re actually asking for. Is he turned on? Without a doubt. Will anyone know, including you? Not a chance. In fact out of all the members, Jongdae would be the most collected. His face would give nothing away. Maybe he might add some finesse to his body rolls during a schedule or a dance practice, but that’s about the extent of his outward reaction. Until he gets home that is. His outward facade would fall instantly and he’d probably have you out of your clothes faster than you can say ‘welcome home’. All I’ll add to this is: Good Luck, Soldier! Have Fun! “Ah-ah-ah, Jagi! I don’t know why you’re bothering to try and run from me. You brought this on yourself.”

Chanyeol:

Weak. The weakest member. So weak! The gif above says it all. This is the biggest “oh shit!” he’s ever let out. It’s a damn good thing he’s so tall, cuz the beagles want to know why their giant friend is beet red from his toes to the tips of his ears. I mean they can hazard a guess, I’m sure, but Chanyeol will protect that phone like his life depends on it. Also, he’ll have a very strong problem that I imagine can’t wait till he gets home. If you think he’s staying at work? OH-HO-HO! No. Not happening. He’s not only embarrassed, he’s horny. He’s not only horny, he’s in shock. He’s not only in shock, he’s pissed to hell with you for doing something just so unfair and good lord he’s going to make sure you regret sending him that picture. He does not regret the choice as a whole, just the picture sending part. Can you imagine? Those large, warm hands on your chest? Wonderfully soft and callous at the same time? Does that not sound like a piece of heaven? I think it does! He might be the weakest member because he’s weak for you, but let’s just be clear: the only person who’s going to be weak by the time he’s through is you. I see Chanyeol being more of a butt person, but the incentive to pay attention to your chest is well received. “I didn’t realize you were so needy up here.” “I’m not!” “Ah, but you’re body is saying otherwise.” “That sounds dirty, Chan…” “It’s meant to be.”

D.O:

Flushed and Blushed. Good lord almighty! Those beautiful cheeks of his would blossom and those wonderful doe eyes of his would be so wide. Of course the other guys would pick up on this, but damn if he doesn’t beat them into next century for putting their noses where they don’t belong. Flustered baby is flustered. He’ll want to send some kind of rebuking reply, but he can’t get the words out. Over and over again, he’ll write something and then delete it. Kyungsoo’s brain is short circuiting and desperately trying to reboot. Silence. That’s what comes next. An eerie silence as he goes through the motions of his daily schedule. People might actually think he’s legitimately angry with them or about something, but they don’t think it’s safe to ask (well unless you’re Kim Jongin, but that’s besides the point). It might take a few minutes or even a couple hours, but eventually he’ll pick up the phone again and just call you. You’ll answer and the only thing you’re going to get from him is the shortest retort: “You’re in trouble.” That’s it. He’ll hang up and go about his schedule like nothing is wrong, like he didn’t spend half the day trying to put the pieces of his brain and composure back together. Honestly, though, I feel like he’d secretly be so into nip piercings. They’re something new to play with and boy will he! Let’s put it this way, if he can’t have his way with you that night, he’ll hold a grudge until he can. “A massage?” “Yeah, they’re really sore.” “....” “....” “That’s it?” “...yeah…” “Alright.” (it’s not, just btw. He’ll get you next time. Fight me, Daddysoo is real.)

Kai:

I feel like his reaction would depend on his mood when he receives the picture and request. Like, if he’s tired to all hell, he’ll likely ignore the message and roll over...and then have a vivid wet dream, which he’ll blame on you and either pout or make you pay or both. Jongin is such a curious nugget. Like he has so many different facets to his personality. Most people do, but I find his to be the most intriguing, and he’s not even my bias! If he’s in a playful mood, you’ll get a cheeky reply back. If he’s playful and you’ve turned him on, there’s a good chance you’ll have a certain type of reply picture and the text “only if you massage me too (winky face)” Honestly, Jongin will probably really like them. He already enjoys laying his head on your chest, now he has something to mess with while he’s relaxing. That and much like Kyungsoo, he’ll view them as something to spice up the bedroom life. I feel like it would be a major turn on. Do you know the kind of power you’ll be wielding? You won’t have to say anything, do anything! All you have to do is exist, cuz any time he sees those lovely piercings through your shirt POW horny Jongin is horny. Also, I feel like your chest will become an ingrained part of your makeout sessions. Honestly, this is a win-win situation! Congrats you now have Jongin wrapped around your finger! “Jagiyah, are those?” “Yup!” “And I can…?” “...yup!” *blink blink* *pats his lap* “I want a closer look.” (innocent face that isn’t innocent)

Sehun:

You know there are a ton of people who seem to think this child is sex lord, but honestly, I see him being more shy than anything. I imagine him being like Baekhyun, a lover through and through. He’s playful like Jongdae and a total sass king, but you’re his queen and he would never be mean to you--not completely anyway. I feel like Sehun is someone who likes to try new things. Maybe the two of you were sitting down one evening talking about the most random topics and you breached the subject of piercings. I feel like Sehun would be the type who wouldn’t really know how he would feel about them until they were presented to him. Like he’s be all “well, I guess that would be cool” or “I can see how that would be sexy.” Even though he’s verbally affirmative, there would be some hesitation on his part just because he has to wrap his mind around it. So when you surprise him and send in that picture all that hesitation evaporates, as does his cool composure. Like Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, his face would burn and his jaw would slacken a fraction. He didn’t expect you to go out and get them pierced, but damn if it doesn’t look hot as hell! This poor guy will spend the rest of his schedule trying not to think about how amazing they look on you and all the naughty, naughty things he can do now that you have them. So he’s not a sex lord, but Sehun is still one hell of a lover. He’s an Aries after all. You want to keep that Aries in your life? Spice things up a bit. Nipple piercings? I’d say that’s one hell of a move, but a very good one! “You-you, but we just...Is that why…” “Are you okay, Sehun-ah?” “You’re devious.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Of course you don’t...just wait till I get home.”

#exo reactions #exo scenarios #exo #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #suho scenario #yixing scenario #xiumin scenario #baekhyun scenario #chanyeol scenario #chen scenario #kyungsoo scenario #jongin scenario #sehun scenario

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artificialqueens · 5 years

Text

Elastic Heart Part 9/10 (Branjie) - Mia Ugly

A/N: Thanks as always to artificialmeggie for the feedback. She’s the best, you guys.

Brock is in Houston when the lip sync finally airs.

He’s seen pieces of it before but that’s all. They played a clip of it during the reunion, and he only took in parts of it. He’s really not looking forward to seeing the whole build up.

Or the way it fucking ends.

His manager wanted him to host a watch party for the episode, but a brief conversation with Brock obviously made him re-think it (Brock’s hovering on the fine edge of ‘not okay’ and it’s starting to become fairly apparent to even the peripheral people in his life.) So he gets to take the night off.

He thinks about streaming it in his hotel room, but then he’s also a little worried about being alone. So he finds a local club that’s screening it, dresses like his usual disheveled self, and sits up at the bar.

The episode is ugly, a slow slide into a car accident, tires skidding on the ice. His attempts at rapping are about what you’d expect, and Vanessa doesn’t do much better (she’s nervous, though, that’s all that it is. If he hadn’t been there, if all that shit hadn’t been going on between them, he’s sure she would have crushed it.)

Then there’s the runway, where they both turn it out but not enough to save themselves. Brock watches Vanjie’s face during the critiques, watches her close her eyes and nod (he didn’t expect it to hurt this much.)

Christ, they were holding hands when they came back on the main stage. Brock had forgotten that. The image on TV re-awakens the memory in him, and the feeling of their hands sliding apart burns against his palm.

He grits his teeth during the lip sync, watches the moment he stops dancing, watches the devastated look that comes over Vanessa’s face (his pulse is kicking in both wrists, in his throat.) He watches their hug afterwards and can’t help but notice how much they’re both shaking. He sees himself mouth something in Vanessa’s ear and thanks God the mics didn’t pick it up, or the editors chose not to play the audio. He doesn’t know what he would have done.

It’s a bit like putting together the pieces after a night of heavy drinking. Some of the things Ru says are familiar and some are like they happened to a different person. Brock watches himself thank the judges, watches himself tilt as he sashays away (almost falling but not quite.)

And then he’s back in the werkroom, staring at the camera like it’s the scene of a crime.

Brock holds his breath. He wonders if he could hold it for the rest of the episode. His lung capacity is pretty good, and it’s almost over. Almost there.

“I’m - in love with him,” Brooke Lynn says on television. “Oh my God.”

Oh my God.

Brock’s entire body flinches, and he knocks his drink to the floor. The sound of breaking glass is buried beneath the cheers and applause of bar patrons, reacting to Brooke Lynn’s stunned confession.

“Shit, shit - I’m sorry -”

Brock said he loved him, he fucking said it on television, he didn’t know -

“It’s fine, no worries.” The bartender is coming around with a rag, bending to pick up the broken glass. “Happens all the -” He stops. Blinks. “Holy shit, are you Brooke Lynn Hytes?”

“I’m just going to - okay -” Brock leaves too much money on the bar to cover his tab, and gets out of there as if an angry mob is chasing him. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Somewhere across the world, Jose is probably watching this episode.

Oh my fucking God.

His phone is ringing but Brock doesn’t answer it. Text notifications are going off like mad and Brock doesn’t look at them. He keeps walking down the sidewalk and when that isn’t enough, he breaks into a run. He doesn’t know where he’s going, just knows he needs to get as far away from everything as possible. The show, the bar, himself.

How did he not remember that? How did he not know?

How could he have been so -

(The first van ride back to the hotel, Brooke ends up in a seat beside Vanjie. It’s crowded and loud, everyone still full of energy from the photo-shoot, from their first day of filming, as if there isn’t a hammer swinging gently above all of their heads. Brooke is fully in silent concentration mode, staring out the window at the blurred streetlights of L.A., thinking about her paint for tomorrow. It’s got to make an impact but it’s also got to show them who she is, and –

“Ooops, sorry girl.” Vanjie elbows her as she tries to get her jacket off.

“It’s fine.” Brooke smiles, falls back into her thoughts. It’s not easy when Vanjie is as loud as a brass band right next to her, shouting into the backseat at a queen named Honey about some show they did together in New York.

The van turns a corner and Vanjie slides against Brooke, their shoulders pressed together tightly.

“Sorry, baby. I’m all up in your space. Honey, why you say that? You know that’s a damn lie!”

Brooke thinks about wigs. Short and blonde, maybe, really push the superhero couture. Or maybe bombshell, waves and – but that’s not really Detox. But it’s got to be -

“You sent me a message, you remember? After Season 10?”

It takes Brooke a moment to realize that Vanjie is talking to her.

“Oh. Yeah, I did.”

“I gotta thank you for that. I was feelin’ all sad and shit, feelin’ embarrassed. It meant somethin’ to hear from people.”

Brooke can remember watching that first episode, thinking Vanjie was hilarious and bizarre, feeling sick when she was the first one sent home. She remembers the voice more than anything, and it was surreal hearing it in the werkroom today. Still doesn’t feel like real life.

“If I knew you looked as fine as this, I mighta messaged you back.” Vanjie gives Brooke a slanted grin, and Brooke feels herself - horrifyingly - starting to blush. What is she, fucking thirteen? It has clearly been way too long since since she got laid.

“I’ll include some pics next time.”

“I am here. For. That.” Vanjie claps it out. “You can make up for it by sendin’ me some now.”

“You’ll have to wait until the show’s over and they give us our phones back.”

“I just gotta use my imagination. Y’all hold still.” Vanjie stares at her intently for a moment, and then blinks. “Click. There, real nice. I’ma throw a filter on it, give you cat ears or somethin’.”

“Whatever you want,” Brooke laughs. “Just don’t post it anywhere.”

“Vanjie could you like move over one fucking inch?” The skinny queen on the other side of Vanjie – who is… not Yvie - Scarlet, yes! Brooke’s brain hasn’t completely shut down – shoves into Vanjie, who in turn gets pressed up against Brooke once again.

“Hey, bitch, it ain’t my fault I got hips! Unlike some of y’all.” Vanjie glances at Brooke. “Sorry baby. Not tryin’ to get all up on you.”

She straightens up, but – and it might be Brooke’s imagination – she doesn’t seem to pull away as much as she did before. Her hip is still warm against Brooke’s, her bare arm against Brooke’s shoulder.

Brooke feels something internal stutter at the contact, like stones shifting somewhere underneath her ribs.)

He doesn’t look at his phone for two days.

The first call he returns is his sister’s (“Why didn’t you tell me things were that serious? Okay, I know what an NDA is but I’m your sister and you had your heart broken - no, mom’s fine about it, we’re just worried about you - well, you have to talk to someone, Brock -”)

The next person he talks to is Nina.

“Oh good, you’re still alive,” she says as she answers. “How does it feel to have broken the internet?”

“I - haven’t really looked.”

“Haven’t looked? At the internet? Just, in general?”

“I couldn’t yet. I’m going to, I just -”

“People are kinda freaking out about that episode. You’re going to have offers of marriage from like, governors and stuff. Tell them I’m single, by the way.”

“Have you talked to her?”

“No. And she’s not saying anything. Her PR team must be circling the wagons, coming up with a statement. Making sure this doesn’t look bad for her.”

That stops Brock’s heart for a moment. “Do you think it will?”

“Well, I mean, people love her. But they love you too. I’m sure her team just doesn’t want this to become about, you know, that bitch who broke Brooke Lynn’s heart.”

“Oh my God.” Is this what a heart attack feels like? Brock doesn’t know what else to say, can’t even fathom putting a sentence together. Fuck, fuck, fuck - everything is terrible and complicated and this episode just made it all so much worse.

“Brock,” Nina says gently. “I have to say - I didn’t know. That you were so serious about her. It was all shiny and fun, I thought, I didn’t know -”

“It’s okay,” Brock stops him quickly.

“But I’m sorry about it. Sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell me.”

“I -” And what can Brock possibly say to that? “I’m sorry about that too. About a lot of things. I was kind of out of control near the end there. You should have made it to the Top 4.”

“It’s okay, I’m just going to sit by the phone with my hair in curlers, waiting for AllStars to call. Oh God, what if they’re calling RIGHT NOW?”

Brock laughs, even though his eyes are hot with tears. “I’m sure they will.”

“So what are you going to do? You have to say something. Everyone’s -”

“No. It’s got to be up to her, she needs to decide how she wants it to go. We were supposed to figure this out but -” He starts coughing then, which is embarrassing but unsurprising. It lasts too long, and after he’s finished, Nina responds with a pointed silence.

“Sorry, sorry. Smoking too much.”

“I don’t want to seem critical or patronizing or anything but - it’s um, getting a little self-destructive. You know that right? This whole - thing.”

(“I’ll be around longer this time, bitch, believe it,” Vanessa is saying in the seat next to Brooke, too close and too warm. “Gonna show ‘em I’m not just a joke or nothin’. You best reserve this seat cuz I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

“Good,” Brooke says automatically. Then she stiffens slightly because that might have been - not the right thing to say. The word just came out of her mouth, she didn’t think about it and now she’s afraid to turn her head, afraid of what she’ll see if she looks at the queen beside her.

When she finally does, Vanessa is studying her. There’s an odd little furrow between her eyebrows.

“Yeah?” Her voice is quiet, barely audible in the chaos of the van.

And Brooke does something totally stupid, reckless and embarrassing but – fuck, there’s no controlling it.

“Yeah,” she says, then watches Vanjie smile all slow and pretty, like someone who’s just heard an awful secret.

“Huh.” Vanjie chews on her lower lip, and Brooke tries not to look anywhere near those teeth or that mouth. “Anyway, it – is – you know, whatever. Um.”

Vanjie’s the one who breaks eye contact first, looking down at hands that are clenched tight in her hoodie. “Lookin’ forward to getting’ to know you proper, and. Scarlet I swear to God you’re halfway on my lap, ho. I’ma kick you outta this van you don’t shove over.”

Brooke goes back to looking out windows, tells herself that this is not going to happen. Whatever that weird moment was, it was just a moment. Crumple it up like tissue and throw it away.

She’s not too worried about it, honestly. She doesn’t do that sort of thing much, doesn’t have the time for it. And she’s never dated another queen before, it’s not really her thing. Vanessa’s cute as hell, but both of them have too much to prove here and Brooke’s worked too hard to get here to be distracted by the first pair of dewy brown eyes she sees.

Brooke has walls around her heart, anyway, and no one gets past those. She’s not in any danger.

She wants that to be true.)

“So maybe. Stop it?” Nina says. “I don’t know.”

“I legitimately don’t deserve you.”

“Who does? Haven’t met him yet. Probably will soon, though, like on the set of AllStars 5. I’m coming for you, Drag Race romance. Oh shit, what if it’s the Vixen?”

“I’ve changed my mind. You’re the worst.”

“She’s a fighter, I’m a loverrrrr.”

“I’m going to hang up on you.”

“You say that, but you never do.”

When they eventually say goodbye to each other, Brock realizes he has three missed calls from his manager, and two passive aggressive emails. They want him to say something, make a statement, set the record straight. Reporters are calling for interviews (Christ, and they haven’t even see the reunion yet.)

Jose also hasn’t called or texted. Not once. And that’s fine. It makes sense. It’s fine.

Instead of doing the responsible, professional thing (he might need a new manager by the time this shit is finished) he dials a number his hands would recognize in the dark. There’s no answer. He contemplates hanging up (throwing his phone into the sea) but instead grinds his molars together and stays on the line. Waits for the beep.

“Hi, it’s uh Brooke. Brock. We should probably talk, hey? About - that. That thing that happened. Anyway, when you’re up for it, give me a call.” (Oh my God, I’m in love with him.) “Anyway. Hopefully - talk to you soon. Okay. Um. Bye.”

Brock waits for his heart to restart, waits for his jaw to unlock just enough to breath.

Then he goes on social media. It’s all a bit of a blur after that.

* * *

After the lip sync, Brooke doesn’t go home.

They move her to a different hotel in L.A. because she’s going to be back in a few days anyway for the reunion and the finale taping. She’s silent and robotic as she packs up her stuff, ratings poison.

She isn’t going to write anything on the mirror, but a producer basically won’t let her leave until she does and Brooke wants out of the werkroom so much she can barely breathe; she scrawls “My heart will go on,” barely legibly. Then she draws a little ship underwater.

She doesn’t read the letters the girls leave for her. Not at first.

She waits until she’s in her new hotel room, a couple drinks in to give her the necessary emotional buffer. The new room has more of a view than the last one, and she can see the ocean off of her balcony. Dusk is falling over L.A., smog mostly blocking out the sunset, and Brooke chain smokes (not good) and tries to meditate half-heartedly before she can bring herself to touch the folded papers.

In the end it doesn’t matter. Because Vanessa didn’t write one.

Brooke laughs out loud when she realizes it, and doesn’t recognize the sound of her voice. Of course Vanessa didn’t write her a letter. After an exit like that, what the hell was she supposed to say?

The days leading up to the reunion are like weights around her wrists and ankles. Brooke goes to the hotel gym for hours every day, and follows it up by jogging on the beach. She throws herself into everything physical, tries to exhaust her body so much that her mind will shut off. She can’t think about what she’s done. Can’t think about what’s going to happen. How it’s going to look.

And she hates that public perception is such a huge part of her concern, but fuck it, that’s how she makes her living. And now she has no control over it, can’t remember most of it, and is going to have to do some wild amounts of damage control when the season airs.

They send a van to drive her to the theatre for the filming of the reunion. She arrives late and rattled, but is relieved to see Nina and Plastique and a bunch of the other queens already in the dressing room, getting into drag. It feels good (for a moment) to be hugged and smiled at by people who don’t know how spectacularly Brooke Lynn just fucked up. She has to take these moments while she can, because God knows it’s all going to come out in a few hours.

Soju’s cyst is healing nicely, so there’s that.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Nina says to the mirror, as Brooke pins her wig in place. “I thought you’d be Top 4 for sure.”

“You and me both.” Brooke tries to smile, brush it off. “Hoped you’d be up there with me.”

“So what happened? Can you like, mime it or something? Was it all those burner phones of yours? All the strange men you were smuggling into your room at night?”

Brooke laughs but the sound is like ice-cracking. “I’ll let Ru tell you all about it.”

The Top 4 queens get dressed somewhere else, so Brooke doesn’t see Vanessa until they’re making their way onstage (she tilts slightly, almost falling but not quite.)

Vanessa is flanked by Silky and A’Keria, and she’s wearing that electric orange/red again, a cocktail gown with huge feathered shoulders, a high neck and no back. She looks the best she ever has on the show, and Brooke feels the ground sliding underneath her heels as Vanessa meets her eyes from across the stage and quickly looks away.

Brooke bumps into Ariel as they find their seats. She can’t stay upright.

“Welcome back ladies.” RuPaul takes the stage in a neon orange patterned suit, smiling brightly. Brooke thinks she’s smiling back, but she can’t be sure. Her face is not in control of itself when Vanjie’s in the room.

The reunion is a bit of a blur after that. But Brooke remembers the important parts.

[Transcript: RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 11: Reunited

Time stamp: 00:34:18

RuPaul Charles: Now, every year on Drag Race we know that the queens competing connect with each other in important and lasting ways. But this season, for the first time in Drag Race herstory, two queens had a very special kind of connection, right from the start. Let’s take a look at some footage of - what the kids are calling - ‘hashtag Branjie.’

[A compilation of Brooke Lynn and Vanessa’s interactions is played. The queens onstage smile and ‘aww’ over particularly cute moments.]

RuPaul Charles: So Brooke. Vanjie. Did you two know each other before the show?

Vanessa Mateo: [pause] I’ve talked about this before, like, we didn’t know each other. He messaged me after Season 10 and I’d seen, you know, photos of him -

Shuga Cain: Girl, we’ve all seen those photos of him.

[Laughter]

Vanessa Mateo: But we never met or anything until we did the show.

RuPaul Charles: So the show brought you together?

Vanessa Mateo: [pause] I mean. Yeah, like you’re in this situation where you’re going so hard and there’s so much pressure, and then you meet someone and there’s this feelin’ - I don’t know. Someone make that make sense. Edit that.

RuPaul Charles: Brooke Lynn, what was it like for you? Was there a spark right away?

Brooke Lynn Hytes: [does not respond]

RuPaul Charles: Brooke Lynn?

Brooke Lynn Hytes: [pause] Yes. There was.

RuPaul Charles: What was it like having that sort of chemistry but trying to balance the pressures of the show, the challenges, the runway…

Brooke Lynn Hytes: [pause] Um. Difficult.

Vanessa Mateo: [pause] From the get-go, we said ‘we gotta keep this thing to the side.’ You know? Like it wasn’t gonna affect the competition.

RuPaul Charles: But ultimately it affected the competition in a big way, didn’t it? Let’s take a look at one of what is - I would argue - the most dramatic lip syncs in Drag Race history.

[The final moments of Brooke Lynn and Vanessa’s lip sync is played. The queens on stage are visibly shocked.]

RuPaul Charles: Brooke Lynn, what was going through your head at that moment?

Brooke Lynn Hytes: [pause] I - don’t know.

RuPaul Charles: Well, it seems like at some point you made a decision to stop competing. And to many people you were considered one of the front-runners of the season. So what happened?

Brooke Lynn Hytes: [pause] I - I just stopped. [pause] I’m sorry, it’s my first time seeing it. It’s all a bit - I’m having trouble. Putting it together.

RuPaul Charles: I can see that. Vanessa, maybe you’ll have better luck. What was going through your head when Brooke stopped dancing?”

Vanessa Mateo: [pause] You know I - I didn’t want to see that. I didn’t know what she was doing at first, and then I realized - I don’t know. It wasn’t good, I tell you that. Not a good feeling.

RuPaul Charles: Why’s that?

Vanessa Mateo: It felt like maybe - she felt sorry for me? And I didn’t want that. I wanted to prove that I deserved to be here, you know, I didn’t want to be given nothing.

Brooke Lynn Hytes: No, it wasn’t like -

RuPaul Charles: Do you have something to say about that, Brooke?

Brooke Lynn Hytes: [pause] No. She should - say how she feels, sorry.

RuPaul Charles: You know, during the season there was a lot of discussion about your lack of personality, your being ‘closed off.’ How do you feel about those comments?

Brooke Lynn Hytes: [pause] I - don’t know.

RuPaul Charles: You don’t know, or you’re not going to talk about it?

Nina West: Brooke and I have known each other for years and I think that at this point it’s pretty obvious that she has a personality. People were kinda being hard on her, but being a quiet person, being shy or thoughtful is also a personality, and -

RuPaul Charles: I guess it’s just not one that’s particularly fun to watch.

Nina West: I don’t know, you get a bit of vodka in her, and it is extremely fun to watch. [laughter] Occasionally disturbing, frequently sexually confusing, but always fun.

RuPaul Charles: Brooke, do you agree with Nina? That people were too hard on you this season?

Brooke Lynn Hytes: No.

RuPaul Charles: Do you think you owe some of the other queens here an apology? Because I know you all worked really hard to be here, and then you chose -

Plastique Tiara: I don’t think Brooke owes us an apology.

Nina West: No. Absolutely not. She doesn’t. That’s -

Rajah O’Hara: I think she does. If she wanted to go home so bad she could’ve taken my place. She didn’t want to dance against Vanjie, fine, I would’ve. She should have sent her own self home Week One. That’s how I’m feeling.

Yvie Oddly: Girl, come on. That’s bullshit.

Rajah O’Hara: We all busted our asses to get here, we all of us have friends on this show, we have people we don’t wanna send home. But we do it anyway, and to see someone just throw it away pisses me off. It’s how I feel, I’m not gonna apologize for that.

Scarlet Envy: But props to Vanjie. I mean, whose dick do I have to suck to get into the Top 4?

[Vanessa Mateo gets up, takes off microphone.]

RuPaul Charles: Vanjie -

[Vanessa Mateo leaves the stage.]

Scarlet Envy: Oh my god - it was a joke.

Silky Nutmeg Ganache [standing up]: You want to come for my girl, you come for me too. Okay? She ain’t deserve that, that’s the fucking tea. That’s some shady ass -

Scarlet Envy: It was a joke!

RuPaul Charles: Silky, I know that emotions are running high but -

Silky Nutmeg Ganache: Nah, I’m serious -

Rajah O’Hara: Bitch, this ain’t about you!

[Brooke Lynn Hytes takes off her microphone. Brooke Lynn Hytes leaves the stage.]

RuPaul Charles: Well. Okay. [pause] Anyone else have somewhere to be?

[End transcription]

Brooke runs in the direction Vanessa left, through scattering P.A.s, over lighting cables and through the back stage area. She ends up in a hallway, sees Vanessa stomping it like it’s a runway down at the other end. Brooke hurries to catch up with her.

“We have to talk.” When Brooke touches her arm, Vanessa shrugs her off.

“No, we don’t.”

“Yes we do! I need to explain -”

“Explain what?” Vanessa looks up at Brooke and the hurt in her eyes is like lightning. “I came here wanting to show I was more than just a joke, that I was somethin’. And now that’s done. That shit that Rajah said back there, that shit Scarlet said, that’s what everyone’s gonna say! I’ma be the bitch who didn’t make Top Four on her own -”

“No. No one is going to think that -”

“They already do, Brooke!” Her hands are moving wildly. “You think I needed this? That you had to throw it for me?”

“No.” Brooke will swear to the grave that she never once thought that. That she went into that lip sync with no intentions and then in the moment - the moment she saw that fucking tear run down Vanjie’s face - everything stopped. “I know you could have done it, I’ve seen you dance and you’re fucking fierce. I’m the one that fucked up, I’m the one that made a choice -”

“You made the wrong choice!” Vanjie’s angry now, in a way Brooke hasn’t seen since Untucked. “I didn’t ask you to do that! I didn’t want you to do that!”

There is a camera person and a security guard moving silently down the hallway toward them, and Brooke cannot have this conversation be part of some reality show available to the fucking world. She takes Vanessa’s hand and pulls her around the corner, down another hallway and out of an emergency exit. The door slams shut behind them and they might be trapped outside in an alley for the foreseeable future, but at least they won’t be on camera.

“I’m sorry,” Brooke says. Vanessa has her arms folded. She looks smaller than usual, even in her three inch heels. “I’m so sorry. I know you didn’t ask for this. And I didn’t go on that stage with any sort of - plan, it just -”

“You felt sorry for me, right?”

“That’s not true -”

“That’s what it looks like, though. That’s what everyone is gonna think!”

“Let them think what the fuck they want then. Does it matter? You’ll know -”

“Does it matter? You say that to me - it’s my life, my life they’re gonna be talkin’ ‘bout! Me as a queen! My career - everything -”

“It’s my career too. It’s my whole life too,” Brooke’s voice is rising with frustration - frustration with the situation, with Vanessa - but most of all with herself. “I have friends, family, they’re going to see that episode and they’re going to be fucking furious at me for what I did. I worked hard to get here, I worked damn hard, and when people find out that I just gave up -”

“Am I supposed to feel bad for you now?”

“Well, I didn’t makethe Top 4.” Brooke regrets the words immediately (Vanjie’s eyebrows knit together and it’s the end of the fucking world.)

“So what do you want? A thank you card?” Vanjie’s hands are so tight on her arms that Brooke can see her acrylics leaving indents in her skin.

“No. Jesus. I just - don’t know how to fix this. Would you be any happier, would this all be okay if I had sent you home? Is that what you wanted?”

“So that’s what woulda happened, hey? That’s the only other option here?”

“No but – I don’t know what you want me to say! This was my dream, Vanessa. Okay? I’m still a little fucked up about it, and I don’t know -”

“I didn’t ask for your dream. I didn’t want it!” Vanessa wipes away a tear, and Brooke is taken violently back to that moment on the main stage right before everything fell apart. “You can’t put that on me.”

“I’m not putting it on you, I’m just trying to explain.”

“Explain why, then.” Vanjie pins her flat with her gaze, the way she did that first time she looked at Brooke across the werkroom (and every damn time since then.) “Why did you do it?”

A hundred thoughts go through Brooke’s head. A hundred moments between her and Vanessa: passing each other in hotel hallways, sliding folded letters under doors, kissing in shadows like they were starving for each other, could never get enough. Brooke opens her mouth and wants to scream these moments out of her chest, take them, take them, they hurt too much. She tries to put it into words. Tries to piece it together like a mosaic made of glass shards. She tries.

“We’re done,” Vanjie says quietly, and then her eyes squeeze shut.

(There is something howling beneath Brooke’s skin, a wounded animal.)

“Jose -”

“Nah, nah, I can’t - do this right now. You don’t even - we’re done.”

“Don’t -”

“It’s done.” Vanessa takes a step back. She doesn’t say anything else, just moves cautiously around Brooke until she gets to the door. It opens and Vanessa goes inside and she’s gone then. She’s gone. It’s done.

At some point, Brooke slides to the ground. She doesn’t know when, doesn’t feel herself moving, but she’s on the ground just the same.

At some point, she hears the door slam shut. She has no idea how long she’s been out there., maybe minutes, maybe days. When she finally looks up, she sees A’Keria Davenport leaning against the brick wall, single eyebrow raised.

“Everyone’s looking for you on the inside,” she says, “The pair of you sure know how to make a scene.”

Brooke doesn’t have the strength to respond.

“Mama Ru was not happy everyone leaving her set, no ma’am. Thought she was goin’ to flip her wig when you took off after Miss Vanessa.” A’Keria pauses, and then she laughs. It’s a wholly unexpected laugh, warm and without judgment. The pearl beading on her gown clicks together as she moves. “Next season probably no one’s gonna even show for the reunion. They’ll just all be off dealin’ with their drama somewhere.”

Brooke might laugh but then things might escalate, and any emotions are potential threats at this point.

“Shouldn’t be sittin’ on the ground in chiffon, girl. Show some respect.”

A’Keria offers Brooke her hand, and Brooke reluctantly lets herself be pulled to her feet. She dusts off her gown through sheer force of habit.

“You gonna come inside? Or you live here now?”

The thought of seeing anyone else is paralyzing. Brooke doesn’t know if she can manage it.

“Maybe – a few more minutes. Is Vanessa –“

“She and Silk are off somewhere, don’t you worry ‘bout it. We’re takin’ care of her.”

“I’m glad she has you.”

“She is a lucky bitch, that’s true enough.” A’Keria gives Brooke a gentle touch on the shoulder. “But you got people too, Miss Brooke. Don’t forget that.”

From somewhere on her incredibly ornate dress, some magical secret pocket, she produces a cigarette and a slim silver lighter.

“Shouldn’t be encouragin’ your nasty habits, but I thought you might need somethin’. And – when it comes to Vanjie –“

She looks thoughtful, the way she looks in the werkroom when she’s sewing, quiet and focused while Silky and Vanjie spout all manner of nonsense beside her. It strikes Brooke suddenly that of all the queens this season, A’Keria might be the one she knows least of all.

“You know, some people are better at gettin’ stepped on than gettin’ lifted up. See what I’m sayin’? You get stepped on enough, you start to think that’s how it goes. So when something good happens, like someone gives you somethin’ you didn’t even know you deserved - you don’t know what to do with that. It messes with that story in your head. The one that tells you what you’re worth.”

“I wasn’t trying to give her anything. I know she could have made it without me -”

“Girl, you really think I’m talking about the show?” A’Keria moves gracefully back toward the side door. “I’m sayin’ she ain’t mad at you. Not really. She just don’t know what to do with – all this. It can be a lot to hold.” She smiles, a bit sad. “I’m goin’ in. You take care now.”

Brooke thinks about A’Keria’s words long after she’s gone. She stays outside and smokes that cigarette down to the tips of her burning fingers and then steps on it, crushes it between the pavement and her heel. She counts to twenty-five, then thirty, then forty in her head.

She goes inside.

At the live finale, Brooke watches from the audience as Nina West is named Miss Congeniality, and Vanjie lip syncs for the crown.

Then she flies back to Nashville, alone. She feeds her cats, she works, she travels. She calls her mom, she jogs along Cumberland River, she dances at bars with men she doesn’t want.

She smokes too much, and doesn’t sleep enough.

She dreams.

She doesn’t see Vanessa for five months.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #angst #smut #canon compliant #eventual happy ending #elastic heart #mia ugly #concrit welcome #submission #s11 #on set fic

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raquelsantos92 · 7 years

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Love My Way

The last (and quite long) part of the Say Something Series.

Summary: After weeks without talking to one another, Armie and Timothée come face to face; this time ready to talk things through and decide once for all if it´s best to remain just friends or embrace the feelings they have for one another and allow the world to know what they truly feel.

Link to Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/529070585-say-something-love-my-way

Love My Way

Armie

It had been nearly three weeks since Armie last saw or spoke to Timothée. At first he tried to keep his distance, he knew Timothée needed some time for himself, some time to heal and think through the things that had happened between them. But after a week, Armie couldn't keep himself quiet any longer; he called, left voicemails and texted Timothée whenever he had the chance and although he never got a reply, the older man still had a hint of hope.

Timothée might have never replied to him, but he also never asked him to stop.

The thing is, Armie knew there was only one way to make things better now, cuz in all honestly there was only one thing Timothée was asking for. He just wanted to be acknowledged as Armie's companion, lover, partner...boyfriend; was that too much to ask?

Since he left Timothée's hotel room that day three weeks prior, Armie wandered how he could have been so selfish to expect that Timothée was okay with being kept a secret. The man was young, he had women and men falling head over heels for him and yet here was Armie, keeping him in the shadows when Timothée was made for the spotlight.

'I know you probably won't even listen to this, I am almost certain you haven't listened to any of the other thousands of voicemails I left...or read the text messages and trust me, I don't blame you at all; I was an asshole to you and didn't even acknowledged it cuz I kept telling myself you understood why we couldn't tell anyone and I know in a way you did understand. I also know now that I was stupid to even ask for your secrecy; it was your relationship as much as it was mine and we should have decided it together...,' Armie sighed, shaking his head; his –now sad- big blue eyes stared out the window and a small smile came to his lips as he remembered Timothée dancing around his bedroom, completely naked, just so he could make Armie laugh.

"...I'll be in New York tomorrow, I have some things regarding that play to solve the next couple of days and I...I thought we could meet up and talk? I understand if after it you decide you don't ever want to see my face again, but let me at least look at you once more, please Timmy, I'm begging you.'

Timothée

'...please Timmy, I'm begging you'

Lying in his bed, his eyes stuck on the ceiling, Timothée listened to yet another voicemail from Armie. At first the older man had been quiet and Timothée feared that it took him only a week to realize that he was never in fact in love with him; there was a certain point where Timothée wondered if Armie had decided to go back to Elizabeth.

That would for sure make his parents thrilled.

But to his relief and surprise, after a week of silence, Armie seemed to turn on his stalker mode and started texting and calling Timothée every single day. Timothée loved to hear Armie's voice and he could just imagine the look on his face as he said those things and that crushed him, but he had to remain strong. As much as Timothée loved Armie and didn't feel the need to deny that, he couldn't risk spend the rest of his life pretending to be his lovers best friend.

He took a deep breath, sitting on the bed as his eyes scanned the entire place. He had so many memories with Armie there; the first time they had sex, all the laughs they shared, the promises and the love he knew Armie had for him were in a way carved in the walls of his apartment. Timothée had to make a decision; talk to Armie, at least one more time and see what the older man had to say, after all he did promise him they would talk, or keep things the way they were, erase Armie's number and try to forget him.

Timothée almost laughed at himself there; forget Armie wasn't something he would do so easily.

He sighed, scrolling through his contact list until he found Armie's name; "call me once you get here, I'll meet you somewhere and we'll talk;" he hit send and almost immediately regretted. Seeing Armie would probably just make things worse.

Armie & Timothée

The coffee shop was cold and surprisingly dark; in a far and more secluded corner, Armie sat down, impatiently waiting for Timothée to show up. Maybe the younger man changed his mind, maybe he realized he definitely didn't want anything to do with Armie and wouldn't even show up for one last conversation.

Taking a quick look at his watch, he sighed; fifteen minutes, he was there for fifteen minutes and there was absolutely no sign of Timothée. Not a text, not a call, not his beautifully dead eyes staring at Armie with that soft smile he loved so much. Nothing.

Armie shook his head, ready to get up as he heard that voice; damn how he missed that voice.

"Giving up already," said Timothée, taking a seat across from the older man; "I know I have been debating whether to come or not since I hit sent on that message agreeing to this"

Armie couldn't help but smile; not even a minute and Timothée was blabbering already; "I'm glad you're here, Timmy"

"I think it was a crap idea, to be honest."

The coffee shop was dark enough for people not to really make out what was truly going on between the two men, so Armie reached for his lover, well, former lover's hand. But Timothée wasn't having that; not that he didn't want to feel Armie's touch, God, that's all he had dreamt of in the past three weeks, but he just didn't trust himself with that. Touching a hand, would lead to a hug, then a kiss and when he least expected they would be tangled in bed once again, just so Armie could leave and Timothée be left once again heartbroken.

"Timothée...," groaned Armie as the younger man refused to let him touch his hand.

"Don't make things harder than they already are, Armie"

He sighed, "I need to feel you close to me, Timothée; I've missed you so much"

"And you think I haven't missed you," asked Timothée in a slightly annoyed tone; "I think of your smile, your eyes, your laugh, your damn lips every single day, Armie and it kills me; I have every single aspect of you carved in my brain, I go to sleep and I wake up thinking of you, desiring you and I hate myself for that"

Armie shook his head, "don't hate yourself for feeling things, Timothée. I know I hurt you, I know I asked for too much, but I also think we can try and make it work"

The younger man shrugged, "what's the point of loving someone and not being able to share it? Not even my sister knew about us, Armie and I tell her everything"

"Timmy..."

He shook his head, getting up as Armie tried –effortlessly- to keep him place; "I knew coming here would only make things worse. I can't do this anymore; we should have remained friends, at least now we would have some sort of connection between us instead of...instead of nothing"

Armie watched as Timothée left without uttering a word and not because he didn't want to, but because he was so broken he didn't even know where to start. He had not giving up, though; Armie would never give up on Timothée.

Timothée

Timothée was right all along. Seeing Armie only made things worse; not only they did not discuss anything, but only the sight of Armie made Timothée want to hold him, kiss him and a bunch of other things that just thinking of made his whole body tingle.

There was a war going on inside of Timothée; his body and his heart ached for him to be with Armie again and his brain, well his brain was screaming for him to run, run as fast and as far as he could, cuz the only way this would end was with heartbreak.

But then, when Timothée left the coffee shop he had started something he wasn't entirely sure he could finish; he knew Armie way to well not to know that the man would indeed go after him. It was only a matter of when.

With trembling hands, the younger man paced around his apartment, trying his best to remain calm. He started counting, taking one deep breath after each number; one, two, three, four, five...

A knock on the door stopped Timothée, "took you long enough," he whispered to himself, just now realizing how bad he actually wanted Armie to go after him. He walked over to the door and opened it, biting his lip.

"I know you don't wanna talk and I probably shouldn't have come here, but the way you left...I was worried"

Timothée debated for a few seconds on what to do; listen to his heart and body or his brain? The question seemed to respond itself when Timothée grabbed Armie by his shirt, pulling him inside the apartment and against the –now- closed door.

Their lips were on one another in a matter of seconds, which to Armie was a complete surprise; a good one of course, but still quite overwhelming. "Shouldn't we be talking," whispered Armie, his lips still pressed against Timothée's.

"Screw talking, I don't wanna talk right now"

Armie nodded as Timothée removed their shirts in a swift moment. He was really surprised by the sudden attitude of his younger lover; sure he had seen him eager before, but this was something completely new.

They were soon enough in bed; their naked bodies tangled as Armie left kisses from Timothée's lips to his jaw and neck. Timothée on the other hand allowed his hands to travel down Armie's body, from his neck, to his shoulder, to his back and down to his ass, squeezing it slightly as Armie moaned softly.

"Can I?"

Top. That's what he meant. Timothée wanted to be inside of Armie, to feel what Armie felt every time they had slept together.

Armie looked at him for a few seconds, before letting a smile come his lips; "do to me whatever you want"

Timothée practically came just at the sound of that; he knew he had said the same thing to Armie their first time and now he actually understood what he had said about the effects of those exact same words. To have someone you love surrender themselves completely to you, felt almost as pleasurable as sex itself.

Armie

"Can I," asked Timothée.

Top. That's what Timothée meant. He wanted to be inside of him and Armie would be lying if he said he had never questioned how it would feel to do this. Reverse the roles they had played so far; Armie knew this would mean the world to Timothée and although there was a part of him slightly preoccupied by the idea, the arousal he felt by seeing the lust in Timothée's eyes was everything he needed it.

"Do to me whatever you want," he said, mirroring what Timothée had said to him the first time they had sex.

Surrender to love. That's what Armie was doing right now.

Timothée smiled in a way that Armie had never seen before; the young man couldn't believe he had actually said yes, that's what was going on.

He took his time, he looked at Armie for what felt like a lifetime –when in fact wasn't even five seconds- and then kissed his lover deeply. They rolled over in bed, Timothée now hovering on top of Armie as Armie let his fingers knot on his lover's dark hair.

And then he felt it. Timothée was slowly entering him and the mix of emotions that ran through his body was too much for he to comprehend. Pain, pleasure, desire, Armie was feeling everything all at once; he closed his eyes, biting his lip as Timothée buried his face on Armie's neck, slowly quickening his pace as his older lover, feeling less pain and more pleasure by the second, started moaning his name softly.

"Thank you," whispered Timothée on Armie's ear. The older man took hold of his lover's face and made him look at his eyes.

"I'm all yours, Timothée," he said before leaning their forehead together, felling Timothée increase his speed. Armie now knew exactly what Timothée felt when he was the one inside of him and damn it, it felt better than he could have ever imagined.

Armie & Timothée

The apartment smelled of sex and sweat. The only noises, the moans of both men; Timothée, panting, threw his head back, moaning his lover's name as their orgasm came at the same time; resting one of his hands on Armie's chest for support, Timothée pushed some hair out of his eyes.

Practically breathless, Armie pulled Timothée down, embracing the young man on his arms; "if this is how our conversations are gonna go down from now on, I think we should do it all the time"

Timothée chuckled, playfully hitting Armie's chest; "we are gonna talk, I just think we should try and make up for all the time we've lost"

"And whose fault is that," said Armie as Timothée arched an eyebrow; "I'm kidding. But if you had answered me earlier, maybe we wouldn't have wasted three weeks."

The younger man smiled softly, resting his chin on his lover's chest; "I thought of calling, texting, anything, but I was..."

"You are not the one who needs to explain himself here, Timmy; I was the one who messed it up, I was the wrong one"

He shrugged, "technically we were both wrong; you for keeping me a secret and I for being too selfish to see you were just scared"

Armie smiled, cupping his lover's face as he placed a sweet and loving kiss on his lips; "I've missed you and your wise words"

Timothée nodded, hugging Armie as tight as he could; "I am quite a wise man." Armie laughed at his remark, smelling Timothée's hair as the younger man closed his eyes, letting his tiredness take him over.

It felt good to be back in each other's arms.

Timothée

It was midnight. The apartment was dark and Armie slept peacefully on the bed, while Timothée was sat next to him; too many thoughts running through his head for him to be able to catch any sleep. It had been a crazy day, that's for sure; as he woke up, he was fearful of how the conversation with Armie would go down; a part of him nearly gave up on going to that coffee shop.

Thank God he didn't listen to that part of him, otherwise he wouldn't be sharing his bed with Armie and feeling completely overwhelmed with happiness. Not a minute after Armie stepped inside the apartment he was naked and had remained that way –along with Timtohée- throughout the entire day, simply enjoying the time they had with one another, cuz after those three weeks, they sure as hell deserved to cherish the time they got together. And they did it, did it so much, Timothée thought he would barely be able to walk the next day.

He took a quick look at Armie's peaceful expression; the last time he watched him sleep was the night he left him. The night he ended things without even saying goodbye; but now Timothée could see things going on a different direction. Sure, they had yet to talk about their relationship and how things would go on from now on, but the looks Armie gave him, and the fact Armie allowed Timothée to be the one in charge more than once that day, that was proof that their dynamic had sifted to a more open and democratic one.

He reached for his nightstand and picked up the Polaroid he had, taking a photograph of Armie; even if things didn't go as planned, at least now Timothée would have something to remember the exact moment he thought things were perfect. With a sigh, he placed the Polaroid back to its place and lied himself down, letting his fingers trace Armie's lips; when the older man smiled at his touch, Timothée bit his lip.

"You're awake," he whispered as Armie chuckled.

"If by that you mean to ask if I noticed you taking photos of me, then yes, I did"

He opened his eyes now, removing some of the hair on Timothée's eyes and smiled; "you should get some sleep"

"I tried, but I can't"

"Try again, we sure deserve after all the workout we had today"

Timothée laughed, placing a soft kiss on Armie as the man closed his eyes once more; "I love you, Armie"

He closed his eyes then, smiling wide as he heard Armie's voice echo in the quiet room, "I love you too, Timmy"

****

Timothée never needed as much sleep as he did that night. Waking up, even though he had slept more than necessary, felt almost like an obligation. He sighed, opening his eyes and reached out for Armie, only to find an empty bed; arching an eyebrow, he sat up, quickly taking a look around the small apartment.

Armie had left him without a goodbye, just like he had done weeks before; the only difference was that Timothée at least had had the decency of leaving a fucking note.

He shook his head, trying to understand how the man could have done something like this once his last words were I love you. Who the fuck leaves someone right after saying I love you?

Timothée got up, reached for his underwear and put it on, before making his way to the kitchen. A day he thought would be great had started quite shitty and if he was going to get through with it, he would need large amounts of coffee. As he was just about to begin, there was a knock on the door; his lover had left him, he was basically having a sex hangover, the last thing Timothée needed was someone bothering him.

He sighed, but made his way to the door anyway, arching an eyebrow as he saw Armie standing there, holding two cups of coffee on his hands; "what the fuck are you doing here?"

Armie

"What the fuck are you doing here," asked Timothée the minute he opened the apartment door.

"Good morning to you too, Timothée," he said with a smile, placing a soft kiss on his lover's lips as he made his way inside the apartment; "woke up on the wrong side of the bed?"

Timothée shook his head; confusion wasn't even enough to describe what was going on inside his head. Looking at him for a while, Armie could tell something was wrong; the young man seemed way too serious and judging by how well things had gone the previous day that seriousness did not add up.

"Timothée, did something happened to you while...," there was a pause from Armie, who finally realized what was going on; he placed the two cups down on the table and chucked, stepping closer to Timothée, who had his arms crossed and his eyebrows furrowed together. "You thought I had left you, didn't you?"

The younger man sighed, "didn't you?"

"Timmy..." he couldn't help but let out a laugh, "Timmy, I had a meeting today with the director of that play I'll be doing during the summer; that's why I had to leave in a rush"

"Oh...," mumbled Timothée, slightly embarrassed for his overreaction.

"Believe me, the last thing I wanted to do was leave you here; hell, I was so sore I could barely make my way out of the bed"

The younger man couldn't help but smirk at that remark; it did bring Timothée a sense of pride knowing he was the one who did this to Armie.

"I feel a little stupid now"

Armie shook his head, wrapping his arm around his lover's waist; "if there's one thing you shouldn't worry about is me leaving you"

Timothée nodded, "just leave a fucking note next time"

"I tried, but you young people never seem to have paper around," he said as Timothée chuckled, letting his head rest on Armie's chest.

As a few seconds of silence took over, Armie rubbed Timothée's back as the younger man kept his head in place, listening to his lover's heartbeat. "I need to talk to you," said Armie, finally breaking the silence. Timothée looked up at him, a confused and slightly worried look on his eyes; "no need to be worried"

He nodded, following Armie to the bed, where they both sat down; "is it about us?"

"About us...about me"

"Okay, then go on"

"I know the reason we were separated in the first place was because I was a douchebag; I decided, completely by myself, that we should keep our relationship to ourselves and got you to agree on this, even though you didn't necessarily understood why.

In the beginning, after you walked out on us, I thought you were overreacting and that's why I kept myself quiet; but then as the days went by I realized that you were right all along, Timmy. Once I finally saw that, other things started making sense too; I dropped out of high school cuz I wanted to be an actor; my parents didn't really understand or accepted that, they were disappointed on me, but eventually things got better; I started working, made my own money, I could buy my own things, my own house, my own car, I provided for my children...I was someone and I was happy with who I was and when I remembered all of those feelings I had a few years ago, something clicked inside of me. Back then, when I decided to do this for a living I didn't care if they approved or not, so I figured why should I care now if they, or anyone else for that matter, doesn't necessarily approve of us being together?"

Timothée had a small smile on his face, yet he wanted to make sure Armie was done before doing anything.

"I love you, Timothée Chalamet and now I am a hundred percent aware that is enough. I don't need anyone else's approval; I don't need to be scared of what others will think...if I have you by my side, then everything is okay"

Timothée chuckled; he was sure there was some blushing going on on his cheeks, but he was too damn happy to even care. He threw his arms around Armie, kissing him passionately as they fell back on the bed; Armie's arms were tightly wrapped around his lover's waist and he had no intentions of letting him go so soon.

Armie & Timothée

Two weeks later, their family and their friends knew about their relationship; it was a understatement to say Armie's parents weren't exactly thrilled with the idea, but at least his closest friends, the wholesome of Timothée's family and friends were rotting for them, for their happiness.

As Timothée had now said a thousand times, once Armie's parents realized just how happy their son was, they would come around and accept him for who he truly was.

Being together this way –when they were able to share it with others- only seemed to make things easier, better; it is insanely better to love someone when you don't have to do it in the shadows.

Now was time to let the rest of the world know.

They were sitting inside the car for a few minutes now; Timothée's eyes looking through the window to all the photographers, reporters and bloggers who would soon be gawking over them, desperate for some juicy detail.

The Oscars. Who the hell thought the Oscars was a good idea to let everyone know they were indeed a couple was crazy. Was it Armie? Was it Timothée? Hell, did it matter now?

Sitting side by side on the back of the car, their hands reached for one another at the same time; a chuckle escaped their lips, and looking at each other, they smiled. "We don't need to do this if you're not one hundred percent sure," said Armie as Timothée nodded.

"Are you sure," he asked, earning a shrug from Armie.

"I have absolutely no idea what I'm feeling right now"

"Neither have I"

Armie smiled, pressing his lip against his lover's –now boyfriend- lips; "we stick together the whole night and when we least expect we'll be leaving this place, you with your Oscar in hand and me proud as fuck"

Timothée laughed, nodding his head and reached for the door handle. This was it. They got out of the car and stopped by just as the red carpet began; for a few –quite long- seconds they just stood there, taking deep breaths, preparing themselves for whatever was about to come their way. Once they made it through the red carpet, side by side, hand in hand and stealing quick kisses here and then, they realized things were not as challenging as they thought it would be. Armie and Timothée had showed the world they were very much in love with one another. What they did not realize was that the world had figured that out way before they did .

#charmie #charmiefanfic #armie hammer #timothee chalamet #armie x timmy #armie x timothee #fanfic #fanfiction #love my way #cmbyn #say something

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