#also I wonder if we can actually gaslight the man himself that he actually made this film

[ashleyhotdamn]

I need someone now to look Martin Scorsese in the eye and ask him about the non-existent mafia film he made in 1973 and keep going through with the bit until he snaps and just throttles them

[mickyschumacher]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐄  .ೃ࿐

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: friends with benefits is never a good idea. friends with benefits with carlos sainz especially isn't a good idea.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 18+ (minors dni), jealousy, fwb to lovers trope!, let's hear it for the google translated spanish!!, unprotected sex again (using a condom is hot behaviour ♡︎), remnants of gaslighting?, oral sex, p in v, pussy eating, overstimulation, cumming inside, love confessions, set it up reference!, carlos realising his red flags, mention of rebecca donaldson as the other girl but she isn't vilified or anything (some peeps scare the shit outta me), idk anything about granada (except the memories of the alhambra! can i get an amen?)

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: carlos sainz x fwb!fem!reader

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 6k+

𝐀/𝐍: this was a messaged request so i hope it was up to par! kinda long but we get there eventually. plot holes? yes. proof-read? um... to my sore eyes, yes.

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

⋆  •°.  。  .°•  ⋆

There were many things the world still couldn't explain. The human body, the brain especially, why humans yawn, the cause of Alzheimers, or why tomatoes have 10,000 more genes than humans do.

In addition, you couldn't explain how you had gotten to be friend with benefits with none other than Carlos Sainz, an F1 driver for Ferrari.

Well... there were some parts you could explain. Like how you met. You were simply a girl from Pampaneira, Granada going grocery shopping after eating up the last of what was in your fridge and Carlos was a fresh bachelor who decided to spend a part of his vacation with his friends over 400 kilometres away from his Madrid home in Granada.

A fresh bachelor who also happened to need grocery's for his cousin's raging hangover.

To say you were the town's golden girl was a bit of an understatement. You were far too busy greeting all your local residents. You didn't notice Carlos when you first walked into the store.

But Carlos noticed you. Actually he noticed you before he even laid eyes on you. Your sweet floral perfume roamed the air and engulfed him, luring him without any words. And then he saw you.

You were a beautiful woman. Everything about you... the long hair, your glowing skin, curves every lover goes to dream about at night, eyes that you would never want to let down, your lips... God your lips, one look at them and no sane person could stop thinking about them... at night; and then there was your smile, a social service that could get rid of all the tension in this world.

You didn't notice Carlos until you felt a pair of eyes staring at you from the health isle that was poorly across from all your fruit. There was no shortage of attractive men in your town let alone Granada. But you had never seen a man like Carlos before.

The thicket of brown locks that you craved to run a hand through, his gorgeous tan skin that God must've given, the mysterious chocolate eyes, the perfectly plump lips which made you think he just had to be a good kisser, the slight scruff on his face that made you wonder how it would feel on your skin, the taut body... a gorgeous man.

You didn't know who Carlos was. In Pampaneira, although you new what it was, no one really cared for F1. It was a village that bordered on as a small town. Everyone here knew each other well and spent every second socialising.

You couldn't decide whether you wanted to talk to him or whether you were too nervous to. But it didn't matter because Carlos made the first move and introduced himself. You introduced yourself. He complimented you. You complimented him.

And that was that.

By nightfall, he was in your bed and the both of you had the most sinful, steamiest sex of your lives. So much that Carlos saw you for the rest of his time there. So much that when it was time to leave, Carlos told you to come with him.

And you did.

It was all of that that had led up to all of this. This being your attendance to a dinner at an F1 event as Carlos' plus one in Barcelona. He couldn't hide a beauty like you. Besides, the Spain paps had already managed to weasel their way into your relationshpi with Carlos. Most people thought you were dating. But Carlos had firmly laid the rule out as one did when you became friends with benefits: you don't fall in love. Neither one of you. You agreed for the sanity of your brain because you were far too attracted to the man to fall into the tricky waters of love.

"Holy shit, Carlos..." Lando swore when his eyes landed on the entrance of the dinner.

Carlos raised a brow at this driver, turning his head to the direction of Lando's gaze. He sucked in a sharp breath when he saw you. Every time he saw you, he couldn't be more thankful that he had eyes.

You had captured everyone's attention no doubt. How could they not look? Not when you were dressed in a light yellow satin material that hugged you in all the right places. Not when your neck was adorned in the diamond lariat necklace Carlos had brought you, hiding all the hickeys he had place there this morning. Not when the back of the dress scooped so far down that it only rested a few inches above your ass.

Christ, Carlos thought as he discreetly adjusted his tight pants. You were a sin.

You greeted all the drivers, laughing softly when Lily and Alexandra started to fawn over your appearance.

"I'm telling you, you are probably killing Carlos right now," Lily whispered on one side of you.

You rolled you eyes as Alexandra quipped on the other side, "Probably? Look at him. He is suffering."

You pressed your lips together, preventing a full-blow grin from washing onto your face.

That was kind of the point.

You tried to avoid as much of Carlos as you could because riling him up was one of your favourite pastimes. But in your endeavour, you felt a familiar hand graze your bare back, sending a warm tingle up your spine.

"All of this when we don't get to finish the night together? No juegas limpio, mi niña bonita," Carlos' lust-ridden voice whispered as his head dipped down, letting him place a small kiss behind your ear. You don't play fair, my pretty girl.

You gave him a meek smile. As much as you loved his compliments, they were starting to get you these days. The endearments combine with his actions were stirring up feelings that should be sounding alarms in your head.

"Jugar limpio no es divertido," You shrugged nonchalantly, trying to divert you eyes to the dinner. Playing fair is no fun.

"That's true." Carlos poked his tongue in his cheek upon hearing your remark. You reminded him of a firecracker. Always ready to burst and come back with something to say.

"You have to admit it is sad though, hmm? Because all I want to do is take that dress off you and fuck you. I want to make you cum over and over again till all you can call yourself is mine. I want to watch my cum fall from your pussy because you can't take it all, niña bonita. And then I want to push it right back in so you can walk around with it all day. Soon. I promise."

You let out a shaky breath as Carlos' breathing became heavier and heavier. You chewed down on your bottom lip, standing a bit straighter to discreetly clench your legs together. With a small smile, you turned to Carlos. "I hate you," You told him in the softest and sweetest voice you could muster.

Carlos grinned, making your heart skip a beat. He put his hands around your waist, his chest facing your back, and his chin resting on your collarbone. "Please. You love me."

You blinked blankly at the cold splash of reality that fell over you. You gave a dry and short laugh. You patted his hand with your own. "En tus sueños, Carlos." In your dreams, Carlos.

━━━━━━━━━━━

Mornings without Carlos usually meant you had energy because you weren't having your brains fucked out. But your usual opening of your socials had brought something that drained you entirely.

You stared at your ceiling of your hotel room blankly. Regardless of whether Carlos was awake right now, he wouldn't have even seen this. He didn't read any other news other than his favourites like ESPN or the CBS Sports Network.

You rubbed your eyes tiredly. What was this feeling in your stomach? Anger? Annoyance? Jealousy? You couldn't really put a finger on it and nor could you tell why.

You turned to plant your face in your pillow and let out a muffled groan.

How did you even get here?

Right. The grocery store.

You missed home. Home was an almost 2 hour flight or an eight hour car ride away. You missed when things were simple. When they made sense. Because lately, nothing had made any sense.

The thought of home brought you to the next train of thought: food. And as if on cue, your stomach growled at you with demand. So with the motivation of not starving to death, you got ready to have breakfast and headed down to the nearest cafe because hotel room service sucked.

Opting for a mocha with an extra sugar to counteract the bitterness in your life, you sat down with some a variety of churros and croissants to choose from.

Your phone blared it's default ringtone, capturing your attention. Your eyes flickered over the name and your heart softened and your bad mood had slightly eased. You grabbed the device and slid your thumb to the right.

"Buenos dias, mamà," You greeted. Good morning, mama.

You could hear her exclaim with joy, a sound you hadn't heard in a while. "Ah, mi niña bonita, buenos dias! ¿Cómo estás? No has leído las noticias, ¿verdad?" Ah, my pretty girl, good morning! How are you? You haven't read the news, have you?

You winced at your mother's pet name. You hated this. You hated that the lines between before Carlos and during Carlos were blurring.

"Sí, mamá, lo hice. Don't worry. It's just gossip. All fake," You told her even though you had no idea yourself. Yes, mama, I did.

You heard a sigh of relief from the other side of the call, making your heart hurt. "Right? I thought so. Carlos would never do that. Es un buen chico." He's such a good boy.

You could only tightly smile, agree, and be thankful you weren't seeing your mother in person otherwise she would've been able to tell straight away. You didn't know because all you had agreed on with Carlos was attraction. Nothing more and nothing less.

You caught up a bit with your mother. The conversation ended with her demanding a family dinner to which you told her you would see if Carlos had the time.

It was a simple conversation yet it was eye-opening.

You wanted that family dinner so badly. You wanted to be able to go see your mother and Carlos hang out. Hell, his own mother wanted you to call her mom. You wanted the stupid romantic things like dates, a person who would listen to you, the whispers of sweet nothings because... because you were in love with him.

Of course you were. Sure Carlos slightly had a quick temper and he wasn't that great at being emotional with you or anyone for that matter... but there was that saying: you like because and you love despite. Despite all of his flaws–because no matter how great a man is, he has his flaws–you loved him.

“Buenos dias, cariño,” A familiar voice greeted behind you. Good morning, sweetheart.

You turned your head, finding the root cause of all your problems stand before you with the most handsome smile.

"Carlos," You said with a slightly surprised tone.

Carlos smiled in return, placing a lingering kiss on the side of your head before he sat in front of you. The both of you waited for his coffee to be placed on the table before any conversation between you resumed.

"It's a beautiful day, no? I feel good about this weekend too. It kind of feels like everything is coming together," Carlos told you, raising his brows excitedly at you.

You gave a gentle smile, taking a long sip of your mocha. Slowly you placed the cup down and took in a sharp breath of air. "Carlos... can I tell you something?"

Carlos furrowed his brows and softly laughed at your almost worried tone. He nodded. "Sí, cualquier cosa." Yes, anything.

You looked down at your cup, fingers tracing the rim of the glass as you wondered how to start. Your mouth opened and closed, uncertainty closing in on you. Your eyes snapped up at the taunt of your name slipping from Carlos' mouth.

Okay... you got this.

"Carlos, I... I don't think we should do this anymore."

The crinkles in between in eyebrows and amused smile on his face told you that you had lost him. "You are going to have to be a lot more specific than that, mi niña bonita."

You chewed at your bottom lip. This nickname was getting tiring if he didn't mean it the way you wanted it to. "I mean us, Carlos. This... whatever this is. Friends with benefits... our relationship... it has to stop."

Any amusement on Carlos' face had dropped. He leaned forward, eyes narrowing as he tried to think back on how you had come to this decision. "I–what? What do you mean? Did something happen? I thought this was going fine... amazing, even."

"This isn't working for me anymore. I don't want to do this anymore," You shrugged with the pretence you didn't care.

Carlos grabbed your hand with his, rubbing the back of yours gently. "Is this the stupid headline thing? Cariño, they don't know what they're talking about."

"You didn't even deny it," You laughed softly as a bitter taste arose in your mouth and you slipped your hand our of his grasp.

Carlos stared at you for a while, unable to defend himself. "I don't understand. We agreed from the start that this wasn't going to be exclusive all the time. Three rules: it's open, we respect each other and we don't... we don't fall in love."

You paid no attention to where Carlos had paused. You shook your head, waving your hand in dismissal. "It's not that... I just... I don't want to do this, okay? Just leave it alone."

"Then what is it? I know you. You can give me a better explanation than 'I don't want to do this'. I can't leave this alone. Did someone say something to you? Did they do something? I swear, Y/N, if they did–"

"No," You quickly and sharply interjected. You took a deep breath. "Carlos.. I want more from you. I don't just want to see you every night and morning. I want to see you when we go out to have dinner. I don't want to be your sidepiece, Carlos. I can't... not when I feel like this."

The silence from Carlos was deafening. He struggled to open his mouth. His eyes twinkled with pain. "But you know I can't give you that."

Right. Carlos Sainz didn't do relationships. He was an F1 driver. They liked pass the parcel. And it just so happened, you were his parcel.

You nodded slowly. "Lo sé. Por eso lo siento. I'm sorry for ruining things between us but I can't do this anymore. Because if I do... I'm afraid I fall even further. And that's not fair on me." I know. That's why I'm sorry.

━━━━━━━━━━━

As much as you would like to say you were a responsible citizen who didn't make bad decisions when you were upset, you couldn't.

The offer of clubbing by some of the girlfriends of the drivers was far too appealing in your situation. Your agreement excited the girls because you rarely joined them on these outings because you were too caught up with a certain Spaniard. Granted they didn't know the real reason behind why you were so ready to join them but what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

As you arrived to the club, Lily let out a low whistle when she laid eyes on you. "How do you say hot as fuck in Spanish? Because my oh my you are hot as fuck right now."

She wasn't wrong. You felt hot as fuck right now. It was a warm night in Barcelona and the sexy black long sleeve mini dress, the same one you reserved for Carlos, was staring at you, begging for you to take it out of your suitcase. It stuck to your curves, it had some scandalous cuts, and it was backless. A perfect dress for Carlos? Sure. But a perfect dress to let go of yourself in a club.

You almost snorted at the golfer's theatrics but instead you opted for a flutter of your eyelashes and a stretch of your hand. "Oh dear madam, you flatter me!" You thanked her in a poorly imitated British accent.

Heidi and Alexandra laughed quietly as Lily rolled her eyes before grabbing your hands. "Let's go! I need some tequila!"

Quickly all four of you were by the bar, taking shots of cava (Spanish wine) instead of tequila. Well, you watched them take shots of cava. You may not be having the best day in the world but you were smart and sober enough to know that you and alcohol was not a good mix right now. And all the pleas of these girls could not convince you to do it.

Soon enough, you were all on the dance floor. The club couldn't be more of a club: sweaty bodies dancing on each other, old 2000s' music thrumming so loudly that you would think it was coursing through your veins, neon lights flashing rapidly across the room.

You... you were a vixen, dancing your way through all the bodies, relishing in all the lingering eyes you had captured. Every move you made was unintentionally alluring; your long tresses grazing your skin seductively, sticking to your skin at times as the humidity of the club made you shimmer in the flickering lights while you controlled the pulsing rhythm.

Lily, Heidi, and Alexandra watched in a shortly-lived awe before their eyes widened as a guy behind you edged closer to you. You could feel his breath brush pass the nape of your neck while the heat of his body began to circle you as his chest neared your back.

You couldn't feel a damn shiver down your spine that made you feel good as you once did but you weren't sure if you care that much. With the music blaring and your urge to escape reality without a sip of alcohol, you got closer to the man.

Dancing slowly to the music, you moved your ass closer to the man, feeling his hand lay on your waist. Your head fell back on to his should as he began grind his body into you. You squinted at the purple and pink lights floating in the air, frustrated. Why wasn't your body reacting the way you wanted it to?

The man's lips ghosted over the shell over your ear and he whispered, "Let's get out of here, baby."

Your mouth opened to respond but before you could let out a syllable, you felt the man's presence disappear and a hand grab your forearm, pulling you towards them.

You snapped your eyes to the figure, eyes widening slightly at the familiar brown locks, flushed cheeks, and the same chocolate eyes. Only those eyes were far darker. The host of pure craze.

"Carlos–"

"I think she's fine. You can leave," Carlos said curtly, ignoring your call of his name, brown eyes firmly planted on the stranger.

The man, sensing Carlos' anger and annoyance, held his arms up in defence and walked away.

Without looking at you, Carlos held his rigid grip on your arm and hastily walked you out of this club with heavy steps. You could spot the trio of girls nearby whispering their apologies, concerns, and how they forgot to mention they invited the guys.

"Carlos," You called wearily, watching him open the door of his Ferrari.

"Entra," He looked over at the door, waiting for you expectedly as he leaned on the car. Get in.

"What? No, Carlos, let's talk about this–"

"Get in the damn car and then we'll talk about this."

You let out a huff at the absolute resolve Carlos sported on his face. With a clenched jaw, you dipped down into the Ferrari, immediately finding the comfort in the familiar seat. You peered over towards Carlos, who was walking to the driver's seat.

Fucking hell. What had you gotten yourself into?

Silently, Carlos slammed the door shut. He took a glance at you and sighed before reaching out to grab your seatbelt and click it into place. The cologne you had gotten to used to infiltrated your nose as heat radiated off of his body. Putting the car into drive, Carlos was off onto the streets.

━━━━━━━━━━━

The ride to your hotel was fast. Carlos was well over the speed limit and all the buildings zipped past you like lightning. It was unnerving to see the combination of speed, silence, and anger in Carlos but you were lying to yourself if you said you didn't find it somewhat attractive. Carlos' hands firmly on the wheel, his taut jaw, hardened eyes... God, you were awful.

Not wanting to cause any commotion for all the gossiping fans, you both quietly arrived to your hotel room. You both took off your shoes silently by the door. You took a little longer, fiddling with the straps of your heels in hope to by you some time to think of something... anything to say.

With nothing coming to mind, you turned around to Carlos standing in front of you. His brown eyes stared hard at you while he chewed the inner corner of his mouth. You let out a small exhale when you felt his hand caress your cheek, the soft pad of his thumb pulling down your bottom lip.

"Carlos..." You called once again.

Carlos momentarily closed his eyes at the feeling of your breath against his hand. "We barely finished our conversation this morning and you were going to fuck some stranger? Hmm?"

"I–" You wanted to say no. You really did. But you weren't raised a liar. "Yes. I was," You stated almost apathetically. You returned his sharp stare with a pointed look. "What is it to you?"

Carlos sucked in a sharp breath of air. His other hand snaked around your waist, pulling you so you were flushed against him. He pushed down the grin that was beginning to form once he felt your hardened nipples against his chest. He dipped his head down to your ear. "Say it again. I dare you. Try it again and see if I won't fuck you and edge you over and over again."

Your mouth fell open at Carlos' declaration while your pussy ached, clenching around nothing. You swallowed all the saliva that had gathered in your mouth, letting out a nervous incredulous sneer. "You wouldn't. You're driving tomorrow."

In addition to the three rules, Carlos had a special one of his own: no fucking the day before driving or throughout the weekend. Because of his addiction to your body and the animal he was, sex expended far too much of his energy and he knew for a fact that his team would be able to tell.

The hairs on your body stood straight and goosebumps began to travel down your skin as Carlos' thumb trailed from your lips to the valley of your breasts. His head tilted to the side, eyes moving from your tightly covered tits to your face. The corner of his mouth tugged up, forming a humoured smirk. "You don't think I will? After the shit you pulled? I made you a promise yesterday, cariño, and I'm going to fulfil it."

You let out a soft exhale. Your heart was racing in your ears. "Carlos... this isn't right. I meant what I said. I can't pretend like everything is fine like you. Besides you said it was open, right? You, out of all people, can't react like this."

Carlos' possessiveness was something you could never entirely wrap your head around. Sometimes it was there and other days it wasn't. He was all over a model yesterday and now he was pulling you away from other men? It was ironic.

The gaze that Carlos held told you there was something he wanted to say, right on the tip of his tongue. But he couldn't say it. No... he couldn't admit it.

But you gladly would for him.

"You're afraid, Carlos. And I don't blame you. You've never had a serious relationship, you never committed, you never fallen in love so I'm not that surprised. But you've got to understand that I can't stay with you like this."

Carlos huffed in amusement, shaking his head shortly after. "You're wrong."

You raised a brow. "Am I?"

He nodded slowly. "I mean you're right about the relationships and commitment," He started, ensuring his eyes were firmly planted on you, "But I've fallen in love."

Your shoulders slump at his admission. Great. This was exactly what you needed right now. "Y-You have?" You asked with a small voice and a want to blare some heavy music through yours ears.

Carlos nodded once again. "At first sight. In a grocery store. There was this girl. She walked in, didn't notice me. But I saw her. I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. She laughed and smiled with the locals and I thought that for a second I died and went to heaven. I caught her eye and introduced myself. She did the same–"

"Carlos..." You interjected, feeling your heart pick up it's pace once again.

But the Spaniard continued his story. "We complimented each other, we talked and joked. Then we went to bed that same night. It was perfect. And after we finished, the thought of losing someone like her scared me. It was so terrifying that instead of asking her out, like a normal person, I asked her to become a bloody sidepiece out of all things. Can you believe it? I was an idiot... an idiot in love. I still am an idiot. Because she told me she loves me and I haven't done anything about it. Well, till now."

Carlos let out a long exhale, eyes nervously darting across your face, trying to draw any conclusions of your reaction.

You narrowed your eyes. "I hate you."

"What?" Carlos spluttered.

"Kidding!" You broke out into smile. "I love you too, Carlos. Not as much as you though. First sight? You are down bad," You jested, trying to not let all the fluttering feelings swirling in your body burst out of you.

Carlos blinked blankly at you. You were unbelievable. He shook his head at you, feigning a look of disappointment as he pulled you towards the bed. The soft sheets morphed around you, lulling you to a comfort you had been craving ever since you had put on your heels.

You eyed the lust-ridden look Carlos had. "I was being serious, Carlos. You're racing tomorrow. You have all the time in the world. I'm not going anywhere. Besides, sex after a podium sounds nice," You offered, hanging your arms around his neck as he hovered over you.

Carlos smiled gently at your confession, heart warm at the thought of you by his side. He pushed your hair behind your ears. "As sweet as that is... I was also serious about my promise."

Carlos' leaned in, taking in one last glance of you before pressing his lips to yours. Goosebumps began to swarm every inch of your skin as his hands trailed down your body, finding your hips. If only he knew his tracks the way he knew your body.

You let out a small moan, giving Carlos a new access to your mouth. Your skin prickled with a new wave of heat that was unlike any before. Because this time you knew things were different. He loved you. And you loved him back.

You felt Carlos' tongue invade your mouth while his warm hands had moved to your bare thighs. His grip on your skin tightened as he revelled in the feeling of your plump skin rolling and burning in his hands. All because he touched you.

He removed his swollen lips from yours. The very same lips quirked at your whine. "You know this dress was driving me crazy?" He told you, planting his lips on your neck. His fingers skated up your thigh, inching loser towards your heated pussy.

Christ.

You leaned into his touch, losing yourself as he marked your skin with his love. His lips sucked on your soft skin with a greed the both of you had never felt before.

"Yeah? When? When you first saw me or when I was grinding on that guy?" You teased, running a hand through Carlos' dark brown locks.

Carlos paused, looking up at you with narrowed eyes. His fingers continued to travel, finding the soft and soaked fabric of your panties. "Niña bonita, you sure talk a lot for someone who is so wet from only kisses," He murmured against your lips as he pressed a finger on your cloth-covered folds and lightly grazed your clit.

You gasped at the sharp tingle shooting up your body. "Fuck, Carlos," You sighed, feeling a certain craving begin to settle in.

Carlos sported a grin that you almost wanted to smack off of his face. A feeling which only intensified once he removed his finger from your clit, leaving you breathless as he removed your dress. He sucked in a sharp breath coming across your bare body. "You know... going braless I get," He started while he trailed his finger down the valley of your breasts and towards your pussy. His finger stopped right above your clit. "But no underwear?"

You stayed silent, chest heaving at his touch. You were waiting for Carlos to push you right into the ecstasy you had been bordering on. "Carlos, please."

Carlos smiled at your strained plea, bringing his lips to your stomach. "Your pleasure is my pleasure," He remarked.

You watched as Carlos' head dipped down between your legs, hands firmly wrapped around your thighs. "Fuck, you are soaking, cariño," He called out, eyeing your glistening folds and feeling the heat radiate off of them.

You squirmed at his breath travelling up your spine. "Only for you," You rasped.

Carlos could only feel his heart pace as he watched you clench around nothing. His cock was flushed against the fabric of his pants and his underwear. Fuck, the pain was almost a dizzying as the arousal he was receiving. You were so good to him... oh the things you did to him. Good girls deserved rewards, did they not?

Your mouth fell open as Carlos' tongue laid flat against your folds, taking one long lap at your arousal. You could feel him smile against your thighs. "You taste so good," He murmured before plunging his tongue back into your warm folds.

He explored every crevice of your pussy while you hand shot out to his brown locks, pushing his head further into you. The obscene grunts that echoed in the room after leaving Carlos' mouth were nothing compared to the pace he had taken. He was devouring you; inhaling and savouring your very essence.

You removed your hand from his hair and the back of your head fell into the soft sheets. Your hips bucked against his tongue while soft moans fell from your swollen lips. "So good, Carlos, fuck," you cried out, voice straining from the pleasure.

Carlos took your praise as encouragement, pushing his tongue further into your slick folds while his thumb found your needy clit. He circled the sensitive bundle with a teasing gentleness that sent bursts of throbbing pleasure down your core.

A groan fell from his mouth upon feeling your hand in his hair once again. The slight tremble of your thighs and the clenching of your pussy told him that he was doing everything right. You were on the brink of losing it.

"Cum for me, niña bonita," Carlos urged, thumb rubbing your clit faster and tongue lapping at your puffy folds.

Your hips quivered against Carlos' tongue, thighs tightening around his head as your eyes shut tightly, finding a white light in the dark abyss. Your eyes watered while your mind became absent in your climax. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! Carlos!"

Carlos momentarily stopped his actions, watching your face contort in pure pleasure. You looked beautiful. Hot, naturally, but beautiful. The thin sheen of sweat made you glow and your swollen lips with the few traces of lipstick were a hot mess but he loved it.

"No, no, no," You mumbled in quick turns when you felt his tongue and thumb return not a return a single second later.

"I said multiple orgasms, cariño. You can give me another."

Despite your refusal and the slight burn of your sensitive folds, your body liked to betray you, convulsing once again. Your hips trembled against his touch while your fingers grasped the bedsheets tightly.

Christ. Carlos was going to be the death of you.

Carlos greedily and happily watched your overstimulated pussy grind against him involuntarily. By the last quiver of your hips, he gave you a warm smile, mouth lowering to leave a trail of kisses across your stomach. "Well done, mi hermosa princesa." Well done, my beautiful princess.

You gave a tired smile, feeling a little less than beautiful with your sex sweat-ridden hair and skin sticking to the sheets.

"Princesa, are you sure you can handle my cock? I haven't tired you out too much, have I? Carlos queried, half with genuine concern and the other half with a tone that was almost patronising.

You narrowed your eyes before giving him a sickly sweet smile. "Well, you did promise to fuck me. If you can't, then nevermind."

Carlos couldn't tell whether he was proud or tired of your shit. You were clearly tired yet you had a lot to say back. Like he said, you were a firecracker.

With one hand, he removed his polo shirt. His brown eyes bore into yours as he slowly removed his pants. His lips quirked at your sharp intake of air once your eyes feasted on the throbbing bulge in his underwear.

Your heart thudded against your chest while you sat up from your position and inched closer towards him. You looked up at him with big eyes, hand trailing down his taut chest.

Carlos heaved, feeling the you skim past his body hair. His tongue darted out, resting on his lips as he carefully watched you open your mouth and sink your teeth into the waistband of his underwear.

"Fuck me," Carlos muttered under his breath, eyes glued to you while you pulled his underwear down.

Carlos quickly removed his underwear from his feet and in hast movements, pushed you onto your back. He rolled his eyes at the teasing laugh that fell from your lips despite it being the most pleasing sound to his ears.

You looked at the Spaniard hovering above you, hand gently brushing his cheek. You smiled, running a hand through his hair. "I love you, mi amor." I love you, my love.

Carlos held your gaze, chest heaving at your sudden admission. He felt impossibly warm. It was like the first time he had met you all over again. He felt the same way the night you first had sex. He whispered, "Again. I want to hear it again, please."

Your eyes softened and your heart ached at his earnest plea. "I love you, Carlos. Forever."

Carlos stared at you for another second before bringing you into a long kiss. "I love you more."

You let out a small whimper, feeling Carlos' thick cock against your engorged pussy. You watched as his eyes became clouded with lust. Just rubbing his cock against your folds was an obscene high that made the both of you shiver.

The sudden jerk of your hips as his cock rubbed your sensitive and overstimulated clit made you cry out. "Fuck...," You moaned out, "I need your cock, mi amor. Please."

Carlos was so lost in the pleasure it took the slight dig of your nails in his forearms to ground him once again. "Me too, princesa," He grunted, selfishly grazing your clit again with his cock just so he could watch your hips jolt once again. Fuck. Your reaction drove him crazy.

Carlos forced himself to get ahold of himself and focus on pushing his cock into your pussy. Your hands fell to his neck, steadying yourself while a gratifying burn ached through your core. "Me estás llenando, amor. Muévete, por favor, Carlos." You're filling me up, love. Please move, please, Carlos.

A groan flew from Carlos' lips as he fell into your plead, hips beginning to rut against you. Your swollen folds clamped around him, holding a vice-like grip on his aching cock.

Your sweaty skin stuck against one another while Carlos brought this lips to yours, consuming all your lewd moans with sloppy kisses. He pushed his cock further into you, feeling his balls slap against you, making the most immoral and obscene sounds known to man.

With one hand placed on your hip, the other travelled to grope your breast. Rubbing your nipples in a circular motion, a shudder erupted through you, feeling your clit brush against his cock with each thrust of his.

Carlos looked down at you, feeling his cock pulse at the fucked out expression that teetered on your face. You could barely breathe with all the air escaping your lungs as the familiar white light edged near you. You clenched around his cock, signing Carlos that you were close.

"Carlos, fuck. I'm going to.... I'm going to..." You panted, unable to get out the words as the lust rang throughout your brain.

"You're going to cum? Tell me, mi amor, who did this to you? Who makes you feel this good, hmm?" Carlos beckoned, increasing the snap of his hips.

You cried out, right on the cusp of pleasure. "Tú, mierda, tú lo haces. Fuck!" You, fuck, you do.

Everything around you became a blur, your orgasm hitting you in waves of pleasure. Your moans were silent but your body said it loudly: shaking against Carlos' cock.

"That's right. Me. No one el–shit," Carlos cursed, feeling your orgasm in his cock as you clenched around him. A high-pitched sporadic whine fell from his lips, hips stuttering against you.

The both of you moaned as his hot white cum spilled into your walls. Your folds clamped around him, taking every last droplet into your pussy.

You fell against the bed with an exhausted sigh. You felt the bed dip as Carlos did the same. You felt his hands snake around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

You turned your head to the side, raising a brow at the chocolate eyes flickering over you.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, cariño. I should've never ever let you be in a position where you felt like a fucking sidepiece. You are so much more than that. The love of my life," Carlos murmured, pushing a greasy lock of hair behind your ear.

Fuck. This was a new side of him you were seeing. The emotionally available one. And you loved it. "Well, as long as I'm not a sidepiece again," You shrugged, laughing softly.

"Never," Carlos confirmed. "You can beat me with those heels of yours if I ever do."

"Hmm... tempting. Although the guy from the club looks so much stronger. Did you see his muscles? So big," You fawned, fluttering your eyes dramatically.

Carlos sighed, shaking his head. An amused smile spawned on his face upon hearing you burst into laughter.

You were going to be the death of him.

© 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑

[boxofbonesfic]

Title: 𝙳𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚕𝚐ä𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 [8]

Pairing: Dark!Ransom x Reader, Lloyd Hansen x Reader

Summary: Your husband’s twin brother has always made you uncomfortable, and after two years of marriage, you finally find out why. 

Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, Stalking, Kidnapping, Basement-wife, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Breeding kink, Smut, Darkfic, Dead Dove: Do not eat!

Word Count: 3,572

A/N: poor reader. things are not going as well as she’d hoped. we’re honestly in the home stretch, i anticipate another 2-3 chapters before we’ve arrived at our conclusion! (i also have some plans for a short prequel, so stay tuned!) bottom divider by @firefly-graphics

You stare at your husband, open mouthed as he shuts the door behind him. On the tray in his hands is breakfast, and most of all—coffee. Real coffee, swirling gently in the fancy drip . You can’t think of a single thing to say as he moves past you to set the tray down on the table. 

The scent of his cologne makes your knees tremble, it’s so familiar, so him. You haven’t seen Ransom in person in so long it feels like some sort of trick. You look down at his hands as he arranges the plates, looking for the indents left by Lloyd’s signature rings—but there is only his wedding band, sitting on his ring finger. He looks up at you. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, Sweetheart.” 

Your tongue is sticky in your dry mouth. “I did.” 

Ransom isn’t as good at pretending he’s unaffected—not as good as Lloyd. Brief upset flashes across his features before it’s replaced by determined placidity. It makes the rage simmering in your belly flare up even hotter at the sight of him. You’re angrier at him than you are at Lloyd. It isn’t logical, you know, to feel somehow more betrayed by your husband than his twin, but you do. You suppose Lloyd owed you less than the man with whom you had shared every hope, every dream for your future. 

“Let’s eat something, at least,” he replies at last. “You can hate me on a full stomach.” Reluctantly, you sit down at the table. You wonder if all your meals will be taken like this now, now that contact has been re-established, like some sort of strange exposure therapy. Ransom pours himself a mug of dark coffee and then a matching one for you. You don’t reach for it, though, not until you see him drink from his own cup. 

The plate before you is loaded up with fresh fruits—your favorites: cut grapes, melons, slices of kiwi—and beneath that is a fully loaded waffle, topped with fluffy whipped cream. You spear a forkful of eggs and chew as you stare pointedly at the mug in front of you instead of at him. 

Ransom isn’t like Lloyd, he doesn’t force conversation. He simply sits there across from you, eating breakfast in your prison like it’s the most ordinary thing in the entire world. 

“How could you do this?” You vomit up the question as you tremble, unable to swallow another bite. “How?” 

“We love you so much,” he begins, and you have to resist the urge to throw the plate at his head, food and all. “So fucking much.” Ransom reaches across the table to grasp your hand. “This is the only way this works, Sweetheart.” He lifts his hand to your cheek. You hate that his reassurance feels good, that you’re tempted to press your face into the palm of his hand the way you used to. A sob tears free from your throat. 

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t—”

“Do you even know what love is?” There is a cold edge to Ransom’s voice that’s unfamiliar to you, not because you haven’t heard it before, but because he never adopts that tone with you—never. “Love is doing for others what they cannot do for themselves.” You almost want to cringe away from his gaze. “You taught me that.” As his words increase in intensity you actually try to, only to have Ransom grip your chin with his free hand.“Even if it hurts.”

He sits back in his chair, and sips his coffee. “Now finish your breakfast, Sweetheart. I have a surprise.” The word surprise immediately gets your hackles up, and you can feel your stomach churning. 

“A surprise? What is it?” Ransom winks at you. 

“Eat up.” 

You force your way through the fruit—it’s sweet and ripe but it tastes like mush now as you anxiously chew and swallow. Ransom had always been a good gift-giver. It’s one of the things you’d valued about your husband, his attention to detail, his heart. That little piece of him he’d let you see, the part of him he guarded, held like a wounded bird in his cupped hands. The part of him that memorized your birthday three months in and threw a half-birthday party because he couldn’t wait that long to give you the present he’d gotten for you—a trip to Paris, to see the Louvre. Which one of these people is your husband, you wonder, watching him watch you. Which one of them is real, which is created? 

Or had you ever really known him at all?

When you’re done eating, Ransom hands you a little plastic baggie, containing an assortment of pills. A few you recognize—your pre-natal vitamins, one of your prescribed supplements—but there are some you don’t. You glare down at his offered hand with narrowed eyes before crossing your arms. 

“I’m not taking those.” You’re expecting Ransom to fight you—hell, you’re half expecting him to pin you down and force them down your throat. But he doesn’t. All he does is purse his lips, and place them down on the table. 

“We’ll revisit that.”

“We’re not revisiting anything!” You hiss. “I am not. Taking those.” Ransom steeples his fingers beneath his chin and raises an eyebrow. 

“You had no problem taking them when you couldn’t see them, Sweetheart.” Your stomach rolls. “It was my suggestion,” he sighs, fingering the little packet. “I thought you would appreciate the agency.”

“You’re still drugging me.” 

“Sweetheart they’re not roofies.” His flippancy somehow makes you angrier. “It’s all the things you were taking—perhaps a little altered for your condition, but nothing untoward. Your Celexa for your anxiety. Prenatal supplements, vitamins.” 

“I’m not taking them.” 

“Fine.” He picks the little baggie back up and places it in his pocket. Instead of tacit, clever threats like Lloyd, Ransom simply gets up. You look up at him in surprise, almost forgetting to be angry. 

“Y-you’re not going to force me?” You ask, shocked. Your husband pushes his chair back against the table. He looks sad. Really sad, like he recognizes the weight of what has changed between you. 

“No, baby. I’m not.” He turns towards the door. “But I’m not going to stay, either.” Your eyes go wide with fear.

“W-wait, why? I—”

“You’re upset. I understand, I do.” For his part, Ransom looks realistically disappointed, like he wanted things to turn out differently than they have. A sad smile flits across his face. “But baby if we’re going to build back what we had, build it stronger, you’re going to have to think about more than just yourself.”

You feel a pang of hurt in your chest at his accusation. “I’m not selfish! If any

thing—”

“Threatening to leave me? To take the baby?” Ransom shoots you a cold, disappointed look. “What did you tell me, Sweetheart? The baby will never know my name? What would you call that if not selfish?” You swallow thickly. 

That day feels so long ago now, though in truth you suppose it’s been nearly a month since you’d figured it out and everything had broken open and fallen all to pieces. It’s strange to think that that was reality in the same way that this is—that your physical body no longer occupies a world that exists only in your memories, when everything was perfect. 

“I’m going to give you some time to relax. Maybe It’s too soon.” Ransom shakes his head. “I’ll be back when you’re ready.” Your chest feels tight at his declaration. Alone? Again? You curl your fists into tight balls beneath the table, nails digging into your palms. 

“Don’t.” 

“Oh? And why should I stay? You hate me, you won’t take your medicine—”

“I’ll take it.” You mumble, and Ransom turns back around, a soft, surprised look on his face. You don’t want to go back to being alone, back to the endless hours of silence, your food delivered while you slept or bathed, to reciting movie lines just to have something to listen to—

“What?”

“I—I’ll take them. Please—you don’t…” You close your eyes.. “You don’t know what it’s like to be in here alone, day after day.”  It’s torture. The words hang unspoken from the tails of the ones you’re brave enough to voice. Tears press against your closed lids as you try unsuccessfully to keep them back. He sighs. 

“Oh Baby.” 

You hate him —you hate both of them, so much it seems to fill up every inch of you. So why do you want him to stay? Why does it feel familiar and right and good when he tucks you beneath his chin as you sob? You’d managed to hold them in with Lloyd, but you can’t with Ransom. He’s too familiar, your body knows him, thinks it’s safe with him, even when it’s not. But it’s hard not to feel that same security when he sweeps you into his arms and sits against the window with you as you whimper and cry, pressing your face into his chest. 

Ransom rocks you back and forth, rubbing circles on your back through the cotton dress. You aren’t sure what he says to you as he does so, mumbling muddy praise and promises into your hair. It’s almost worse than that day at the villa—you hadn’t been this hopeless then, this trapped. You’d thought you could leave then, that you could simply walk away from the snare they had set for you, though you never really could.

What other end could there have been?

You aren’t sure how long you sit there with Ransom, your heaving, hysterical sobs becoming hiccoughs. Listlessly you stare out at the waves, dragging the back of your hand across your puffy eyes. Wordlessly, he hands you the little plastic bag of pills. You take it from him without a fuss, tear open the corner and dump them into the palm of your hand. You consider them for a moment before lifting them to your mouth and swallowing them dry. 

—

The surprise, as it turns out, is books. 

Ransom brings in a brightly colored bag from the hallway as you sit sniffling on the bed, still wiping at your puffy eyes. It almost brings you to tears again as you pull out the tissue paper to reveal the prizes inside. They’re all books you’ve never read before but had been meaning to, even going so far as to put a list of them on the fridge in the apartment you shared with Ransom. Frankenstein. Hound of the Baskervilles. The Shining.

“You read my list.” 

“Of course I did,” Ransom says, pressing a kiss to your temple before sitting beside you on the edge of the bed. “It’s been up there for months.” He teases. “I thought we could read them together, like we did in college. Since you’ve been so lonely.” Something goes tight and achy in your chest at the memory of it, you and Ransom cuddled together on your narrow dorm room bed as you read him passages of Wuthering Heights and Catcher in the Rye. It’s so easy to picture it now, though you had not thought of them for months—maybe years. Your husband just a few years younger, draping his own sweater over your shoulders. 

I like when it smells like you, he’d say when you’d stammer about lotion or perfume, pressing it into your hands anyway. 

“I’d like that.” 

It’s almost like being home again, wrapping yourself in the soft comforter on the bed as Ransom begins to read. Is it so wrong, you wonder, to want to go back to when things were ordinary and perfect? Before you knew your husband and his brother felt something deeper than love, deeper than obsession for you—ownership, perhaps. You don’t want this new knowledge, as insane as that seems. You don’t want to know that your family is dependent on them, that their lives rely on your marriage in ways you never could have foreseen. Your father’s business, Nathalie’s school—all things they would lose the instant your relationship dissolved. 

And as Ransom reads, it’s almost easy to pretend you don’t have it, to close your eyes and just… listen. You’re half asleep when he shifts you into his arms, pressing soft kisses to the top of your head. You begin to stir, pushing at his chest, but he hums softly. 

“Just let me have this, Sweetheart. You can still hate me when I’m done.” Your husband holds you to his chest, stroking your hair until you fall asleep. He holds you like that for a long time, listening to the sound of your breathing. With a sigh, Ransom lowers you down to the mattress. He’s arranging your books on the bedside table when the sound of the keypad draws his attention.

“You’re bringing her presents already?” Lloyd drawls from the threshold. “I thought you said she wasn’t ready.” Ransom rolls his eyes. He knows what jealousy looks like well enough on his own face to know it on his brother’s. 

“I said that a week ago,” he says softly. “And keep your voice down. You know we had to lower the dose on the sedative.” Lloyd leans against the bedpost, watching as Ransom fusses over you. “Besides. You got to see her yesterday.” He shoots a glare at his older brother. “You took a fucking bath with her. You always have to be fucking first, don’t you?” 

It’s Lloyd’s turn to roll his eyes. “I don’t interfere in your relationship, you don’t talk shit about mine.” He smooths a hand down your cheek. “I called the doctor. He said he’ll be here Monday.” 

Ransom nods. “Good.” A small smile crosses his lips. “I think she’ll be excited to see the baby.” He rests a hand on the ever-so-slight curve of your belly, and Lloyd snorts. “With our luck, it’ll be twins.” You shift, mumbling something in your sleep as your face twitches. Lloyd kisses your forehead. 

“Shh, baby. M’right here.” His hand replaces Ransom’s on your belly. “We’re not going anywhere.”

—

“A doctor?” You stare at the two of them incredulously. “Here?” Lloyd scoffs at your shock. 

“Come on, Princess. It’s not like we’re in space.” He pats you affectionately on your hip. “Besides, you’re due for a checkup. Don’t you want to see your little nugget?” His words twist your stomach. You had scheduled an ultrasound for when you returned from Mykonos—not knowing, foolishly, perhaps, that you never would. I wonder what they told Dr. Pashik. 

Ransom and Lloyd are wrapped around you like snakes; your husband curled around you from behind, while Lloyd has draped himself across your lap, tracing circles on the exposed skin of your thigh where the dress has ridden up. They’d come into your room sometime early that morning while you’d still been mostly asleep, taking up residence on either side of you while you mumbled groggily. Of course Ransom and Lloyd had not come empty handed, bringing with them more gifts; books, card games, even a portable device they told you you were allowed to watch movies on. Of course, upon discreet investigation there were only streaming apps installed on it, no browser, nor any way to reach the outside world. It was password locked for extra security, which neither one of your lover-turned-captors had yet supplied you. 

You rest a hand on your tummy. “I am excited,” you say finally. “I guess… I’m surprised.” Until now, they had not allowed you to see a single person other than them—in fact you wouldn’t have known there were more people here than the three of you had Lloyd not pointedly told you. “What kind of doctor treats a prisoner?”

“You’re a patient, Princess.” Lloyd corrects you. “Not a prisoner.” He kisses your thigh. One who enjoys a discreet, hefty payout. 

“Someone you know from work?” You ask snidely, and Lloyd laughs. 

“Maybe when I can trust you, I can tell you.” He winks at you. You know your brother-in-law does work for “the government” but you aren’t really sure which government. You get the feeling he has no loyalty in that regard, though all you have to go on is your own baseless assumption. Your thoughts turn to the doctor, and you wonder if they might be sympathetic, despite Lloyd’s money. If you’re even allowed to be alone with them—in all likelihood you probably won’t. If Ransom and Lloyd have been anything they’ve been careful, you doubt they’d make such a rookie mistake this far into the game. Not now. 

You smile sadly. “I don’t think you’ll ever be able to trust me.”

“Oh Princess, I don’t know about that. After all, look at us now.” A lump forms in your throat. “All cozy like. I think you feel a lot more comfortable than you want to admit.” You swallow against the lump that’s formed, thick and sticky in your throat. 

“I just know there’s no use trying to push you off.” 

“Okay, Princess.” Lloyd blows you a kiss. “Whatever you say.” 

It is warm and comfortable between them, and as much as you hate it, Lloyd’s hands do feel familiar and right on your skin, though you don’t want them to. It occurs to you once again that you don’t know what’s in those neat little pre-packaged pill bags that they’re giving you, and as much as you don’t want to bask in the sudden intensity of their affection after weeks of stark purposeful isolation, you still can’t help yourself. It doesn’t help to know the rules of the game when they’re still playing it so effectively. All you can do is watch as Ransom and Lloyd move you around the board, to ends you can only imagine. 

“When is the doctor coming?”

“Tomorrow,” Ransom says, squeezing your hand. “I think we’ll hear the heartbeat, you’re far enough along, you know.” He sounds excited. You know he is—Ransom has always been excited at the prospect of fatherhood. He’d been downright encouraging when you had brought up going off your birth control, if the things he’d been growling into your ear as he rutted into you in your bed were any indicator, and they were. 

“We still haven’t talked about names.” 

“I had a list going but it was on my phone.” 

“Maybe we’ll take a look at it together soon.” Ransom’s hands drift to your shoulders, rubbing at the tense muscle knotted underneath your skin. 

“Will we get pictures?” You ask. “Of the ultrasound?” 

“Of course.”

“Then… will you send them to my parents?” His hands falter, and you turn to look at him. Your husband’s expression is unreadable as he glances down at his brother, an entire conversation passing between them wordlessly. You feel that same pang of old jealousy creep up into your chest, and you swallow it down. “I just—they… they would want to see.” 

“Maybe.” He says at last. 

“Where do they think I am?”

“I don’t—”

“I’ve been good, haven’t I?” You ask, shifting away from him, from the both of them. “Please. Tell me something. Anything.” Lloyd shakes his head with a frown, but Ransom sighs. 

“You’re in a very expensive hospital in Austria.” 

“My father wouldn’t believe that,” you say, shaking your head. You know your family—they wouldn’t just swallow some paper thin excuse just to get back to their lives. Would they? “He-he would want to see me.” 

“Your father is very busy with his business, Princess,” Lloyd cuts in effortlessly. “He has so much to worry about, and then there’s Nathalie’s classes…” he shrugs. “They trust us to take good care of you.” 

“So let us take care of you.” 

You’d suspected you had no tears left to cry, that perhaps you’d cried them all already. But as always, you manage to surprise yourself with more from the seemingly unending supply inside you. You want to push away their hands as they pat and comfort you, hushing you and wiping at their tears with the pads of their thumbs. It’s the only comfort you have, especially knowing your family isn’t looking for you. Why would they? You remember the bitter, bitter arguments you’d had with your own father when you had decided to move out. They relied on you, needed you—you contributed to more than a third of the bills, there was simply no way around it. You were hurting the family, damning them with your independence. 

“Have you ever thought about anyone but your goddamn self?” Your father had never apologized for that night, and like a dutiful daughter you never brought it up again because how could you? You were the oldest, junior mom, de-facto parent. Something shatters inside you at the thought, and you feel it almost like physical pain. I wonder if they can hear it. 

You don’t know when the arms around you begin to feel like solace instead of suffocation as you weep against someone’s warm chest—you cannot be sure, not through your blurry, red-rimmed eyes. But as your fingers curl into his shirt, and another warm set of lips presses against your hair, you wonder if perhaps this is why they chose you. 

Because who didn’t love to tinker with a broken doll?

to be continued…

Thank you for reading! Please check out my masterlist for other, similar works, and follow my library blog, @box-of-bones-library for updates. ❤️

[liveontelevision]

Okay, this started as a rant about Lucifer lore and turned into an argumentative essay on why Lucifer is a bottom. My b.

18+ Smut ahead, lots of angst

•••

Here's the thing about Lucifer. He was an awesome dreamer, fell in love with Lillith, and was banished to Hell. Literally forced to see what the gift of good will can do at its worse. Unless he's made some personal contact with a sinner to get like updates about what the gift of good will did right, he had to be stuck in a depression for centuries, at least until Charlie was born. And while that would've definitely given him a new passion, he'll never feel confident in dreaming again.

With how much he dislikes sinners and what they represent, i wonder if there had to be some strain on their relationship when it came to Lillith taking control? They never really talk about if they had a fallout or if she just disappeared, but i dont think they really got divorced either.

When Lucifer looks at that family picture and winces, does he feel bad about not contacting charlie? About something he did to make lillith leave? Or maybe he feels bad about being upset at lillith for leaving in the first place? There's so much to umpack there i live for the lore.

Love Interests:

But when that comes to potential love interests in the future, Lucifer hasnt had to court anyone before like ever. Not in the circumstances that they live in a big city like Hell. So when he finally ends up catching feelings, he has no idea. People around the hotel literally need to pick up on context clues for him and have an intervention to tell him he's in love again.

Even if he hasnt seen lillith in 7 years, their relationship had to be a drastic change compared to new love. I think that his love interest would also pick it up before he does, and you would let him work at his own pace. Fuck, it is so important that he goes through this process at his own pace.

With so much strain on his past relationships with loved ones, he fully gaslights himself into thinking he doesnt deserves and isnt allowed to feel affection anymore. I hate making characters i love suffer. But i feel like in his state of mind he'd go through depressive episodes and panic attacks, maybe some night terrors. Theyed be about his past and his subconscious would essentially tell him he has feelings again, and he shouldn't act them in case he scares you away and abandons you, like heaven. Or drives you away like lillith. Or purposely blocks you out like charlie. Mans is struggling i swear. He needs some comfort.

After finally coming to terms, hes a nervous wreck about every decision he makes. He'll constantly stare in the mirror in the mornings, making sure he looks his best, would plan mental scripts before even having a conversation with you, and would become a bumbling mess just trying to make jokes out of the situation, some base level actions, like how we saw in the show. He'll manage to finally ask you out, but all he really knows how to do is profess an undying love (i feel like his confession to lillith was hella dramatic) so it was a little awkward, but still cute. And of course you said yes.

So let's say its been 5+ years since he moved into the hotel, met you and finally managed to confess his feelings. When it comes to the actual relationship? You give him reassurance and support him through his mental episodes, and laugh at his jokes and praise him for everything he does. He has such intense imposture syndrome though, that even other demons have to reassure that theres no way you dont love him with all your being. Because it is literally obvious to everyone but him.

He's pretty good at doing the romantic fluff stuff in public, he loves to make a big show out of treating you like royalty and even trying to embarrass you when you become close enough. He's always more charasmatic in public, it seems easier than doing that alone.

Not in a negative way, but Lucifer is so never to be alone with you. You take the lead a bit more in those scenarios, suggesting ideas like movies or just coming up with small talk yourself. He needs someone who'll be patient with him. Being alive for millions of years AND being left or shamed by all your loved ones during that time is literally the definition of Truama.

Of course he's been bottling all that shit up, he has no one to confide with. There's no one who's been alive and witnessed it all the way he has. So bless you for loving and caring for him even without understanding all hes been through.

You'll have some rough patches, where this emotional side locks him away from you and everyone else. It might be a few days before you see him. He'll lock himself in his office, pumping out ducks by the dozen just to keep himself from sleeping, because he's scared he'll have night terrors if he feels asleep. He's in a constant loop;

"what if i fucked up?"

"what if i try to talk about it and then they realize how bad i fucked up?"

"what if that's enough of a reason for them to leave me?"

"what if i scare them away?"

"what if that fucks this up?"

"what if i fucked up.. Again..?"

After he leaves his office, youre excited to see him out and about, but you cant make a big deal out of it. You have to speak to him calmly, make sure he's physically okay before talking to him about his thought process. It might take awhile, but he'll eventually trust you enough to open up. And of course it'll never be bad enough for you to leave him, he's just struggling.

Physical Contact:

It takes him an even longer time to become physical with you. He hasnt been intimate for over a decade at this point, but as soon as he becomes comfortable with little affections like hand holding, cuddling, wrapping his arms around your waist, and kissing? Hoo boy, he melts after your first kiss. It couldve been even a small peck and he would still become a nervous wreck just trying to ask for more.

He'll ask for physical touch more than provide it at first. You'll give him a quick kiss and he'll look up at you super eager just like, "another?" He'll grow into tastful pda's, linking arms, quick hugs and smooches, holding hands all that.

He becomes putty in your hand when you're alone though. You'll nudge him to lean against your shoulder or even lay his head in your lap while youre lounging or watching movies. He becomes so relaxed in your presence, that you'll want to suddenly peck him just to see his suddenly flustered reaction.

You'd give him massages that he would always be hesistant over. He was always a little nervous that he wasnt giving enough to you, but you were quick to assure him that wasnt the case. You'd straddle his hips while giving him a slowww massage. It starts with light touches, tracing your fingers over his shoulder blades and spine. You'd trace your fingers over his chest when you would cuddle too, depending on the position. Or stroke his back sweetly. It was enough of a distraction to keep his mind occupied, away from any spiraling thoughts he might be having.

He purrs. Convince me that he doesnt purr. (You cant)

Being secluded for so long probably means that he doesnt fly as much as he used to. It was probably a passion of his, and he was especially delighted to share it with lillith and charlie.

So during those 7 years he barely flew, he also didnt take care of his wings. I feel like theyre something to be summoned, so they arent constantly tucked into his back. You'd basically scold him sometimes to just let you clean his wings.

You'd do it in like a spring-type bathhouse that Lucifer would have in his castle somehow. It was one of the first intimate moments he's experienced in years, so he was generally going insane. Feeling your hands and a little comb rake through the feathers on his giant wings? You'd have to tap his shoulder sometimes to keep him from falling asleep to the relaxation alone. After the first time, the water you used was pretty dirty and he had a lot of loose feathets that were combed out. Damn, he needed this.

Intimacy:

After awhile, you sit down and would have a discussion about being intimate in bed. Lucifer would be absolutely nervous about overstepping by asking this, (even though you've been together for about a year at this point). He would use his mental scripts and basically practice what he wanted to say.

It would mainly be him saying he wants to do this because he loves you and youve done so much for him that he wants to give back to you in this way. It would consist of him saying its okay if you dont want to, or if you ever want to stop to just say so. But of course you want to, how could you not?

It would start slow, he actually tries taking the lead in this specific situation. He would kiss you first, his lips trembling at the thought that this is actually happening. Feeling his nerves, you'd cup his face and stroke his cheeks with your thumbs lightly. That will help him ease up enough to start letting the passion take over more.

He'd become more confident in slipping his tongue into your mouth and placing his hands on your hips to pull you closer to him. Lucifer would get lost in the moment, pulling you to straddle his lap as he kissed and licked and bit his way across both your shoulders and down to the softeness of your breast. After leaning back to look at the damage his eyes would become increasingly wide, looking up at you with a flustered expression. Seeing you losing it as much as he was, gave him enough courage to keep up at it.

He would almost hesistantly take a hold of your breasts and would massage them softly, running his thumbs across your nipples and becoming absolutely delighted at the reaction you gave. The adrenaline from the pleasure would make you start grinding against his lap, which would make lucifer's hands on your hips pull away for a moment and make his breath stutter. Lucifer would look you up and down as if he didnt know what to do next, studying your body with darting eyes. You'd press a small kiss on his forehead before guiding his hands back onto your hips with yours, keeping your eyes on him the entire time.

"Are you okay, Luci?" He would gulp before nodding his head and turning ridiculously red across his face, maybe from the idea of what was to come, maybe just from your voice alone. You'd keep your hands ontop of his at your hips as you'd keep moving, letting out breathy moans. He would be holding his breath without realizing, an absolute nervous wreck just from the view.

He would already be hard just from the previous make out session, so this would cause him to lean his back against the bed, his strength giving out. You'd keep up at it, feeling his hips jolt up to meet yours at times.

He was a sweaty, twitching mess in front of you and you hated to admit how much that excited you.

His scripted plan was immediately forgotten, but he was quick to remember that he wanted to please you.

He'd snap out of his state of intense pleasure, to carefully switch positions, him looking over you with your back against the bed.

You both discuss it, of course, attempting to set boundaries before hand. Even just the tender discussion would get him riled up. So he'd lean foward and kiss you again, showing off his forked tongue before peppering kisses down your entire body, until he was close enough to let his hot breath heat up your folds.

You'd feel his nervous breath on you before delving in. He would be hesistant of course, but would be quick to get used to your entrance after running his tongue across your entirety multiple times. Lucifer loves providing pleasure this way, so his brain immediately knew what to do once the nerves past. He was quick to take a tight hold onto your thighs to keep you in place as he entered you with his demonic lengthy tongue. He would look up at you as he sort of aimlessly dug around at first, waiting for a reaction. Once he'd see you dip your head back with a muffled moan, he would close his eyes to focus all his attention to that one spot. He'd reach his thumb around to circle and massage your clit that he would find far too quickly. You'd arch your back and try to get more friction against his tongue, but it's easy to forget that he is quite literally the strongest being in Hell. You weren't going anywhere.

He'd love feeling your hands in his hair and would absolutely lose it feeling you pull hard when he'd hit just the right spot. As soon as he set a steady thythm and was hearing your voice become more unhinged, he'd speed up to an extent that you didn't realize was possible after going for so long. You discussed cumming before and he made it very clear that he was okay with you finishing on his face. Fuck, he wanted it. You still warned him, moaning out his name to get his attention, "I-I'm almost there- K-Keep doing that.. like that..! Luci-" you'd almost direct him though the whole process, but were quick to become a moaning mess unable to communicate with words. You'd reach your limit and he would let you buck up into his face this time, loosening his grip on your thighs. He'd pull away after licking you clean, sending overstimulated pleasure across your entire body, with a line of your juices following his tongue as he lifted his head. He would pant with his tongue still sticking out of his mouth, and even through hazy eyes you loved seeing his demonic tongue and thinking about how it just drove you to climax.

Things would switch up again, and you'd sit him against the back of the bedframe. you'd have another quick discussion before seating yourself slowly on his length, which had been throbbing for any contact since the night started. The first few times, he'd do his best not to cum immediately. He hadn't been touched like this in a while, after all. You'd only begin to move once you made sure he was okay since his struggle was written all over his face.

The moment you began to keep a steady space, he would jut his hips upwards, becoming needy to feel this sensation he hadn't felt in over a decade. The first time didn't last long. It was sweet, and he would constantly moan out your name and babble on about how much he loves you. The entire time, you'd be praising him through every move until he was going too fast for you to get a sentence out.

He'd cum inside of you, another previously discussed topic. You essentially had to beg to convince him it was okay. You'd collapse onto his chest, a position he didnt see often. While the two of you always cuddled, you were so focused on making sure he was comfortable, Lucifer realized you didnt often get the chance to just relax on top of him. So after realizing that? Aftercare was amazing.

He'd let you sit with him inside you for a while, before pulling you off and immediately cleaning you up. Some nights, when he felt especially dominant, he would lap up his own cum from your incredibly sensitive cunt. He would swallow some of it, but was mainly pushing anything that dripped out back into your entrance.

After cleaning you up, he would wiggle his way back underneath you and pull you onto his chest, enjoying taking care of you the way you took care of him.

After the first night, lucifer would be much more confident. He'd have that healthy glow, but would be more assertive during meetings, more communicative and wouldnt shut others out as often. It really helped him realize how much you gave to him, and he was determined to give all that and more back to you.

[alexandriastark76]

What is haunting alison or whatever it was in your tags?

Thank you for asking! I’ve been waiting to rant about this for a while now!

Beware though, dear OP cause we go into a deep dive about abusive behaviours, non consensual acts, stalking, obsessive behaviour, psychological manipulation, gaslighting, rape, and overall graphic themes which (sarcastically) is dark romance for you.

Please do not go further if you are a minor or are triggered by heavy topics like these

Stay safe <3

So, Haunting Adeline is a mature themed book written by H. D. Carlton.

According to the summary at the back, this is what you get:

The Diamond.

Death walks alongside me but the reaper is no match for me. I'm trapped in a world full of monsters dressed as men, and those who aren't as they seem. They won't keep me forever. I no longer recognize the person I've become. And I'm fighting to find my way back to the beast who hunts me in the night. They call me a diamond. But they've only created an angel of death.

The Hunter.

I was born a predator, with ruthlessness ingrained in my bones, when what's mine is stolen from me in the night, like a diamond hidden within a fortress. I find that I can no longer contain the beast. Blood will paint the ground as I tear apart this world to find her, and bring her back to where she belongs. No one will escape my wrath, especially not those who have betrayed me.

(In my opinion, this already gets very cliche but let’s carry on I guess)

Actual summary however, is:

The book is about how Adeline forms a “relationship” with her stalker while she discovers who killed her great-grandmother (who also had a stalker), while from the stalker's point of view, he is looking for an organization that kills children while stalking and searching.

This isn’t bad, per se, but it is a very hypocritical setting for what happens later on.

Now, as we move onwards with the book, we see that Adeline Reilly lives in her gran’s house where she is being stalked by her stalker Zade Meadows. She seemingly goes on date (and has sex) with a guy who (she doesn’t know about it though) is a very intimately involved personnel in a child trafficking ring. Zade knows this, so, he kills him (if i recall correctly), cuts his hand off and mails it to Adeline with a rose and warns her to not go on a date anymore.

This happens a couple of times, her doing things (not specifically just going on dates, because she doesn’t go on dates anymore either) that grates him, and so on.

Direct excerpts:

This isn’t disturbing, at least according to the range of ‘dark romance’.

But this is where it gets bad.

One day, Zade comes over blinded by rage that Adeline let another man touch what is “his” aka Adeline herself (let’s not even talk about how dehumanising that is), and rapes her.

And I’m saying rape, because there is no other word with which you can describe it.

He walks in dead of the night, holds her at gunpoint and forces her to undress and then forces himself on her. And proceeds to assault her with that very gun.

Excerpt if you want:

This is where shit gets disturbing and frankly, disgusting, even by the dark romance standards.

Note that I keep saying the dark romance standards because readers have a habit to excuse such behaviours and actions by claiming that it is “dark romance” this is what means to read “dark” romance. That such disturbing themes are going to be there, and we should’ve “read the trigger warnings”.

Now, one might wonder, that there should not be any issue with CNC, but, let’s go back.

The question that rises is, is it truly CNC?

CNC is a kink among the BDSM community, which features Consensual Non Consent.

CNC, is a role play of sorts, which has pre-discussed boundaries, safewords, and proper communication between the people taking part in it. Which, might I remind, did not happen.

Zade storms in, there is no discussion, and assaults the girl who he calls “his” by the way.

Common argument against this made by fans are, “Adeline liked it, so it isn’t actually non consent.” Does reading Exhibit 5 make you feel like she liked it? She literally describes it as:

“My body is full of rage, humiliation, and shame—I know this. But it’s like my brain can’t process those emotions, so it’s just choosing to feel nothing at all.

Is this what trauma does? Knowing you’ve been violated but your body chooses to go numb instead?”

I beg your finest pardon but this does not sound like a person having enjoyed a deliberate sexual assault.

Finally we come to the topic that what is the issue of people with this book.

People, fans, readers, are not only idolising this behaviour (stalking, the apparent “CNC” and the rough way of assault) and before anyone comes to blab that “no one is idolising this blah blah blah”— one simple search on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok and the BikerTok apparently with Haunting Adeline edits will show you how much teenage girls and other people are fawning over a rapist. (If you still have doubts that Zade is not a rapist simply on the account that he helped trafficking victims, then you need to seriously re evaluate your moralities)

Such toxic/stalking behaviours have been labelled “sexy and hot” which frankly disgusts me that there are so many young people seeing this and becoming susceptible to abuse and toxicity.

No one wants to ban this book, we simply want people to stop romanticising it. What he does is not right, and to hold that shitty behaviour on high accord simply because the Stockholm Syndrome setting sets a rapist and his victim together, does not make it right. Real life stalkers are not pretty or sexy, why should we not hold the fictional ones accountable and then?

People will torch up actual morally grey characters for much less and then go lust over a fucking rapist.

Just because other readers are holding him accountable and criticising him does not make them snowflakes, it makes you look like a fan blind to the pretty privilege.

Booktok has developed a bad reputation because of readers like these, and considering most of the booktok does act as an apologist, it isn’t wrong to say that most of the booktok is ignorant to such characters and their atrocities.

In conclusion, we don’t want to censor the book, or criticise rhetoric writer for writing themes like these, it isn’t the worst of the “dark romance”, we simply want the author to tag it properly (it was NOT CNC) and for readers to not romanticise a rapist.

Hope that answers your question OP! Also, note that when I said You so many times, it was simply about the fans of this book series.

<3

[yeonsols-garden]

Chapter 140-144 discussion

Now because these four chapters are basically one big chapter all culminating in Junhyuk and Yeonwoo's reconciliation I'm going to put it all together in one big gigantic fat essay.

You're welcome.

Starting off with chapter 140 let us all praise Jinwoo for his amazing advice because all this was really solved by Jinwoo telling Yeonwoo if "he doesn't listen to you just punch him". That right there is some solid advice and it did wonders for our boys in the long run.

I also just love how Jinwoo is so quote-on-quote nonchalant about this entire debacle between Junhyuk and Yeonwoo but you can tell that he cares, he wouldn't be talking to Yeonwoo if he didn't care. Even though he complains about his broken heart and we all know he's jealous of the fact that Yeonwoo and Haesol are dating that doesn't deter him from helping a friend in need.

Let's also talk about and appreciate how Jinwoo and Yeonwoo have truly become friends. Like I'm so happy that Yeonwoo now has another male friend who is not Junhyuk. Now he understands what a friendship between two men is more than likely supposed to look like. His relationship with Junhyuk is abnormal and him having a friendship with another man in a way that is normal, in a sense I feel like it's going to do good for him.

Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss Yeonwoo, he came out in the cold in his pajamas on purpose because he knows that Junhyuk has a strong tendency to take care of him. Like even when Junhyuk is trying to stay away from Yeonwoo he still has that desire to take care of Yeonwoo and I just find that so heartwarming but also so messed up when you think about it. Like their bond is so deep that even in the midst of an argument they still have those habits that they are unable to get away from. Ah trauma. (Haesol would be livid) Scratch that that's a positive thing now.

I can feel Yeonwoo's frustration as Junhyuk is just not listening to him and just brushing him off.

That punch was so satisfying.

I adored and loved every minute of it. The way I had to wait for those chapters to come out, painful (after the chapter 147 raws it's about to get worse).

Them airing out all their guilt, honesty, I loved it but it is very obvious that they are still holding some things back.

Completely off topic but the panel where Haesol is telling Yeonwoo that his relationship with Junhyuk is abnormal when I first read that chapter I was terrified because I thought her grip on him was too hard but now that we go back into the memory and Yeonwoo has calmed down and that shadow on her face is gone the look on her face is so soft and her hold on him is so careful I'm actually sick. (Ya I'm delusional so what)

Only Yeonsol people Only Yeonsol!!!

Back to the boys.

This argument between them was honestly what we all needed but it wasn't enough I'm not going to lie. There are still so many things that they should talk about and it kind of feels like they are brushing things under the rug but, it is a start. They have never had an argument before and this is their first argument so it's a start.

I can't be the only one who thought that Junhyuk talking about his fixation on Yeonwoo and how he can't help do certain things when he's with him... that low key sounded like a confession... I'm not going to lie I was like how this was wording. I just found it funny and I loved it I'm not going to lie. Like I love my platonic boys but the wording, it stuck out to me and I cackled.

What makes this even better is the fact that Junhyuk and Haesol are both jealous of each other because of the others relationship with Yeonwoo. THE IRONY!

Something that struck me was them talking about how Yeonwoo tried to off himself and how that made Junhyuk feel. it was honestly something that they needed to talk about because the moment that happened in the flashback I was like they better talk about this when they reconcile because there's no way you're going to have that be such a major part of Junhyuk's trauma and not address it.

Plus Yeonwoo is too perceptive he is very intelligent when it comes to understanding other people's emotions especially Junhyuk he's been with the man his whole entire life, he understands Junhyuk. Them talking about that and reconciling has healed a part of me that I did not know was broken. It healed a part of me that I thought it genuinely loved the angst but that part showed me how much I actually needed healing.

It was an eye opener.

That sequence of them going back and forth from their childhood to them in the park and that hug that finally came

*smacks hand on table*

that was just so cathartic.

The release I felt when they finally hugged it out oh my God that was so good I was all over the place. it was just too good.

It was actually amazing.

Now in chapter 143 the awkwardness that has come after that was honestly so realistic.

I love how Esol is just so realistic in her depictions of all the characters and especially in the human aspects of their relationships. For instance if this was any other webtoon this realistic awkwardness that comes after you reconcile from a fight would probably not be as well flushed out as it is in this chapter. It would be a miniature gag and then they would move on and act like nothing happened.

I appreciate how Esol doesn't do that and she takes everything that is happening seriously and you can tell the amount care that she puts into each and every one of the scenes that she draws and puts out into the world.

Now I know this chapter is about them reconciling and everything becoming better but I am not the only person who thinks that Yeonwoo has the potential to be a master manipulator. Like yeah his intention is to reconcile with Junhyuk and be friends with him again but the way certain things are worded where he's like "you can let go of your guilt that you have for me now" or when he goes on and on about how he isn't the best person but he still wants to be friends with Junhyuk... like I know he has good intentions but that right there could be some master manipulator type stuff I'm just putting that out into the world because it is there.

Other than that chapter 143 is honestly great but... when Yeonwoo says that there are times where he wishes he could have come to school with a gun and shot up the place... now as an American that hit a bit too close to home and I was gagged I had to take several steps back because my boy!

Like sure I would let you do that to me but I mean in all honesty I was surprised I was bamboozled. . . It was still a fun read but I was very surprised.

Did I mention that shock to me.

Ya? Ok.

Yeonwoo admitting to Junhyuk that if it weren't for Junhyuk he probably would not be here today that actually warmed my heart. Junhyuk has been having a crisis over how he isn't helping Yeonwoo, thinking that he is in fact harming him (this is all Haesol's fault) and for Yeonwoo to tell him that because of Junhyuk he would not be here today is just so good.

It really does something to your soul you know.

Now this reconciliation was sweet but can we just talk about how pretty Yeonwoo is. Like I know Esol loves drawing our main leads because her Instagram and Twitter have the most jaw-dropping works of Haesol and in the webtoon the way she draws Yeonwoo needs to be studied because he's just absolutely mesmerizing.

The panel where Yeonwoo is pulling his hand out for Junhyuk to shake it so they can move on and the slight blush that dusts his cheeks as the camera pans to Junhyuk's point of view, how his expression is just one of embarrassment with a mix of shame and a tad bit of frustration 🤤

Oh my Lord I had to like take a break from my computer because I unconscious.

My heart stopped

I was contemplating my life decisions.

I was ready to get down on my hands and knees and do anything he asked because how the heck can someone look that pretty with a bruised eye no less.

The detail that Esol goes into when drawing Yeonwoo it's just magnificent and I'm fed every chapter with how pretty he is.

Enough of that, I can honestly go on and make like a 20 page essay on his looks alone. You wouldn't want to read that.

Them shaking hands was great but of course knowing Esol she had to add that ominous cloud of black static that kind of dampend in the mood a tad bit but hey we got what we got and I'm honestly not mad at it because it was great.

The cloud eludes to the fact that there is going to be a constant stain on their psyches because of what happened to them middle school. It is honestly a great way to show trauma but it's also a great way to show that they are moving on and they are getting better.

Now let's get to the meat and butter of this chapter

...

HAESOL BABY

SHE'S OBVIOUSLY SO MAD!!!

The drama!!! it's just so good for my soul. Poor Nari (all hail Nari she deserves it) she just wants all her friends to be friends again and then here are Haesol and Yeonwoo going through something right after Yeonwoo and Junhyuk have rekindled their relationship.

Yeonwoo going on a whole entire ramble of denial talking about how him and Haesol are not fighting... Like sweetie... babes

You're fighting.

Haesol is jealous and you yourself are also jealous.

There are so many points of miscommunication for these two.

Talking about that alone is going to warrant its own essay (I will do it) like these two are so messy and they're messy in a way that isn't even frustrating because they can easily fix it, no they're messy in a way that is just so sensible. That's what makes it so frustrating.

You get both of their points of views and that's what makes it so much worse because you understand them both. Therefore you understand why they both are not talking about the glaring issue that is their jealousy.

It's just so good.

That last look where Yeonwoo is asking Haesol can we talk and the look on her face....

I just it's so good like oh my God she just looks so ugghh I can't even explain it. You understand what I'm talking about though.

Now you know honestly this was my favorite part of this little arc.

The reveal of how Junhyuk really got his injuries and how he actually beat that man to a pulp even though he is "crippled" like that piece of trash had all the talk in the beginning, talking about how "oh you mean Junhyuk the cripple??

Yet that cripple was the one who beat you and your gang who had weapons by the way to a bloody pulp.

LIKE WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!!!

Now I so desperately wanted him to carry out that final act and just end that piece of trash's life but hey this is not a murder mystery and this is definitely not a thriller (that's debatable) but man was that good.

Junhyuk laughed in his face when he saw that he pissed himself.

Haah!!!

I myself cackling a little.

When I saw that I was on the floor. it was so funny like for all your big talk you can't carry out anything without the people around you.

Which honestly just pisses me off more because Junhyuk is right victims are often left to deal with the consequences of other people's actions and just told to move on when all it would have really taken for this to not happen is the people around Yeonwoo shunning the bully and that bully could not have done anything.

Like let's remember that the bully was only powerful because the people in the class let him get that powerful.

All the class had to do was recognize that what he was doing was wrong and ultimately shun him and everything that happened to Yeonwoo would not have happened to him.

A simple solution but they made it 10 times more complicated because they were scared of what some guy who bullied someone in another school. Like yeah he's strong but you're a collective. the class could have simultaneously ganged up on him and made him stop and he wouldn't have been able to do anything.

Eventually the teacher would have had to step in and do something about it. (No matter how useless they are) I'm still pressed on that and I blame that entire class and the teachers for what happened to Yeonwoo.

Next chapter we're going to get some Nari and Junhyuk and I'm so here for that I love those two they are like my favorite side pairing now because I love them so much.

First comes Yeonsol than come

Junnari?

Did I just come up with their ship name???

Yes I did!!!

Now that was fun and I'm so excited for the next chapters because I read chapter 147 and I'm not going to be able to think about anything else for the rest of the week!!!

When that chapter gets translated and it comes out I'm going to go on the most diabolical rant of all time you all better be ready because I'm going to go haywire.

You all know my love for angst and this right here is prime good stuff not only is the angst delicious but the context behind the angst is even more of a scrumptious side meal.

Before I spoil anything I'm going to stop this here but this!

This story is just getting so much better and I am absolutely living.

That coupled with the new artists that have joined the fandom (check over on Twitter)

Things are looking up....

for me!!

HAHAHAHAHA

call ambulance... but not for me!!!

(Also side note but you guys can also leave your own rants and your own analysis is on what you think is happening I would love to hear what everyone else has to say. Being the only person who's posting a chapter analysis on the upcoming chapters is fun but I would also like to know what everyone else thinks. I've seen that a few people have joined the subreddit so why not jump-start the activity by making your own takes. Just be respectful)

[h7jfangirl]

TODAY'S TGS UPTADE ✨

Okay, so... I can't lie, watching Jekyll being a chaotic bastard it's the hottest thing I ever seen

Of course Hyde it's the one controling the body here, but also their are the same person

Something that Jekyll forgot

This whole scenario would be terrifying if Hyde wasn't part of Jekyll.

So, reading Hyde's words we can realise that he didn't feel all the action from last night, so of course, with now Jekyll getting his feelings of love back, Hyde gets the extreme of them; Lust towards Laynon... Or at least he acts like that, but only to piss off Jekyll in this page (I mean that Hyde is in love too). So of course he would want to get something private and deep with him

And then we have the other side. Jekyll is scare like if Hyde could actually STEAL Robert from him, which it's kinda sussy that Henry talks about Laynon like something of his, that he owns, at least to Hyde (I think my man still has some 🚩🚩🚩 to fix)

And also Jekyll being a hyprocite because he talks about Hyde as if they didn't came from the same mind and soul and talks about Hyde's flaws like if that was all he is. But Hyde belives that Laynon will like him too for who he is as his own without Henry, and also asking to Jekyll about his own flaws. Edward it's clearly using this to make Jekyll feel bad and think that Hyde it's better than him.

He just casually talk to himself out loud while doing shit with people. Love it

Hyde, Hyde, the cop it's watching, Hyde, Hyde Oh my god he can't hear us my boy it's going to PRI--

Just kidding, I wonder how this is gonna turn now. Will Hyde be able to convince the cop to not arrest him? Would he run away and fix it later? Would he go to prision? Who knows!

Now, after what we saw in this new page... I have a question:

It's Hyde evil?

Hyde stole a umbrella to a lady that was just walking, kick some kid's ball when the little one was about to cach it, and just grab a cup

In the begining of the comic Hyde made some mess up things that werent actually meant with evil

He gladly stab someone with a umbrella, but it was to save Creature from being burn alive

Then he set the street on fire, it was a accident and he didn't even expect it to happend but he looks proud of it and even laughs

Of course, the next day he realised he fuck up but dosen't like to admit it every much. He it's emotional, and has exciment when he see chaos, but at the same time he knows that theres limits

Then, talking about Jekyll "betraying" him with the officer. Hyde put him killing a random dude like a example of how even with that Jekyll wouldn't be able to bring Hyde to the law

And the most recent one was Hyde actually hurting a man in the face, actually enjoy it

But the thing it's that the comic itself tells us that Hyde isn't exactily the evil inside Jekyll. The whole freaking chapter 10 it's a non stop show to gaslight and mocking at Hyde and all his idea of who he was

So, Hyde it's not evil? He wants to be, and his actions brings chaos but not that harmful, except the time he burned the street but that was not intentional

But then if he is not the evil? Why he wants to be evil? Because Hyde it's in a constant searching for power, in this page he acts smug while bothering the people around him, and also thinks about taking Laynon too so he can feel powerful over Jekyll again. If Hyde dosen't feel powerful he would literally fall deep down to the darkness of his own mind, but if he can ruin someone else by doing that, then he will take it. Hyde himself said it in chapter 12 "I will take Jekyll down with me!" The right moment he is told about that chance to ruin Henry, even if it was forever

Hyde finds comfort of being the evil twin because that's the only way he knows to feel the senses of control while feeding his constant hunger for acction and passion on his life, and that actually worked it for two whole years, until Henry puts him a stop for just two weeks. If only Hyde waited, he could had his delusional life back but he didn't, and now him and Jekyll will going down together

Because they keep forgeting that they are in the same boat.

[breezymichelle99]

Wake up sunshine Oscar’s win is not tainted because of Lando! Oscar’s win is tainted because of shit strategy from McLaren putting BOTH their drivers in a shitty position. Stop making Lando the villain in this narrative because he’s not. Could he have let Oscar pass sooner sure but that’s not the reason for the tension. The team is the reason for the tension. All this hate and discontent for Lando is so annoying; he’s not a team player, he’s a grown man acting like a brat, he’s a cry baby. What? Seriously? He’s an athlete in a competitive sport trying to win a championship. Of course he’s going to be upset, frustrated and act out. Especially when McLaren’s ass of a strategy has cost him what 2-3 races now. Putting the blame on Lando for ruining Oscar’s win is absolutely laughable. Could he have handled the celebration better of course he could. But think about what was going through his mind at the time as well. He’s being asked by his team to give up a win that would give him valuable points to close the gap between him and Max. And then because the decision was essentially being placed on his shoulders by a team that should be advocating for their driver he has to make a decision to either be selfish and take the win or come in second for the better of the team. And you can’t sit here and tell me that no matter which decision he would have made yesterday, to go for the win or sacrifice the win that he wouldn’t have been painted as the villain, because he always is no matter what decision he makes, it seems like no matter what he does he’s always wrong. And let’s not get started on the manipulation and gaslighting that came over the team radio basically threatening Lando to give the lead back or he will lose the support of his team and teammate in the champion chase. Asking this of a person who has come out publicly about his mental health struggles and issues with dealing with how people view him is so crazy to me, especially when the team is supposed to be an advocate for mental health. As I sit here and think back today on yesterdays race and all the hate being directed at Lando I can’t help but wonder; would someone like Max; whom we all know would have taken that win, gotten this much hate? The answer is no. He would have been called champion material, a pioneer in the sport and a visionary for going against his team’s orders to secure the win. So because he’s young and still trying to make a name for himself in the sport he hasn’t earned the same respect as Max? I call bullshit. That’s extremely unfair he’s worked extremely hard to be where he currently is and should be respected as such. Yes he’s young. Yes he’s going to make childish decisions, he’s freaking 24. Give him a damn break.

I hate that actual fans of his can’t even come into the tag right now without getting upset because of the hate and disrespect he’s getting. This is supposed to be a place we can go to support him, have a community of like minded people, who share content about our favorite driver not a hate blog. I’m so sick of it. If you want to bitch about it do it in a different tag. Sending death threats and hoping he wrecks is literally so childish and disgusting and you’re out here talking about him. And yes I’m aware that like me, you are entitled to your opinion regarding the race, the driver, the team etc but I’m also entitled to tell you stop being an asshole. Just because they are in the public eye doesn’t mean anything, they are still humans, they still are allowed to show emotion and have feelings. they are not robots.

Let’s just be kind. And try to enjoy the team 1-2 and Oscar’s first win and get ready for another fun race week. ❤️🩷

[alarrytale]

i recall an old interview (maybe from 2011?) where simon said he picked louis to be in 1D bc he had 'style' and the band needed someone with 'style'. i just think that's... interesting.

Yeah, i see what you're getting at and i agree.

I saw a tiktok making fun of how fangirls in the 80s thought George Michael was straight despite acting super flamboyant, and on the tiktok someone commented something like "that's us with Harry Styles now". Wanna guess what the replies said? "Yeah but Harry's actually straight."

Zero self-awareness. One has to laugh.

Heteronormativity is a funny thing. Gaslighting also do a lot of damage. It's sad.

You mentioned how Troye makes music solely for gay people because he sings about poppers and bottoming. How was Harry allowed to be so explicit in Cinema and reference popping? If he wasn't stunting with women, he'd basically be just like Troye! I wonder how anyone can think that man isn't just dating women for his career!

I didn't say soley for gay people, it's just that queers are his target group because they are the only ones who'd find it relateable. Harry isn't very explicit. "I bring the pop to the cinema. You pop when we get intimate". Harry brings the soda to the movies. You snap when we have sex. Pop meaning poppers here in this context isn't very explicit. It went over all the gp's heads. Also it's peanuts compared to Troye. Go read the lyrics to rush and watch the music video and you'll see the meaning of explicit. Harry is very far from troye. Harry needs to unpack the 50 layers of metaphors he's wrapped his songs in first and start making out with men in his mv to get on troye's level.

That´s the thing - like everyone´s different, gays are also individual people and these "typical gay" stereotypes should be called out for being old fashioned. Last week I told my gay friend how funny it is that in hairdresser salon work 3 gays and each is very different. Or how about other famous openly gay men - does Ricky Martin look stereotypically gay? I don´t think so, I still remember him during late 90´s and 00´s when his popularity was on peak and he was sold just the same way as Harry is sold now and no way I would guess him that 10 year later he will CO as gay. Or Ian McKellen who I also doesn´t find stereotypically gay. Man doesn´t need to be flamboyant or has some manerism, be flamboyant or has higher voice and he can still be gay af.

But while I´m writing this, I´m still quite new here and my opinion that Harry is gay is kinda fragile because even last year I thought he´s straight because those stunts and womanizer image just made a damage on me. What are your reasons - beside zero chemistry with woman - that Harry is gay and not playing it? Asking because let´s be honest, there are days when I question my opinion about him being gay.

Ricky martin not stereotypically gay?? Ian mkellen not stereotypically gay?? I have to say i disagree anon. Ricky has a babyface, is too well groomed, no body hair and a fake tan and his trousers and his shirts are a size too small. That's pretty gay looking to me (playing into stereotypes here). Ian McKellen is super camp and looked like a twink when he was younger (still playing into stereotypes here). I do agree, of course, that you don’t have to be stereotypically gay to be gay.

About harry, since he's straight passing he has to make some effort to come off as gay. He's often hinting while talking (using gender neutral terms, saying gender is not that important in what to look for in a partner, hinting that he looks at men, saying he doesn’t eat pussy etc.), he also sourround himself with queer people, he queercodes (dresses queer, worn earrings, nail polish, high heels, uses make up, worn dresses), he's taken on a gay acting role (what is the motivation to do that if you're not queer?), he's waving rainbow flags and helping people come out, worn rainbow pins and sing songs alluding to not being straight. He's also head over heels in love with louis, which is something he's been struggling to contain for most of his career as a musician (looking at him, touching him, admiring what he's like and writing too many songs about him).

[alexwatchesshows]

Black Sails VII (S1E7)

Spoilers for up to and including E7.

We're getting towards the end of season 1 and things are really ramping up.

We start with Pastor Lambrick having a crisis of faith. Honestly this man is the stale white bread of characters and I couldn't give less of a shit about him. Let him preach to the cornfields or whatever.

Flint has returned to Nassau to find that things are just as chaotic as they were on board the Walrus. This man can't catch a break and honestly maybe that's a little bit on him. He seems to be trappen on all sides. Eleanor's mad at him because Miranda let Richard Guthrie escape, which he doesn't know about (and also struggles to accept the Miranda would go against him like that). Silver's back on his bullshit and, honestly, good for him, but that's the last thing Flint needs right now. Silver's really clawed himself up into a position of some power (or at least protection) as he's now in the room with Eleanor, Flint, and Gate (i.e. the people in charge). Gates is also now calling Flint out on his bullshit. Mark Ryan does such a good job of acting in this episode-- I can see all the emotions he's going through as Gates fights between his loyalty to Flint and his love for Billy. As he says, I don't think anything else would have made him confront Flint, but whatever might have happened to Billy was a step too far. The emotion in his voice when he says "Billy wasn't expendable to me. He was a son to me" just kills me. Needless to say, Flint's response of "you should've acted as a better father to him" does not put him in my good books. Generally, I spend most of this show supporting Flint in whatever morally reprehensible shenanigans he gets up to, but for this first part of the episode at least I struggle to find redeeming qualities. He can't tell when to just let something be or maybe offer comfort, and uses this moment and Gates' vulnerability to go back to talking about his wider vision of what to do with the Urca gold. I'm not going to lie, he does start to look a bit mad at this point. There's a kind of look in his eyes when he gets caught up in his visions, and it's in full force right now. Unfortunately for Flint, Gates is in a kind of pain that puts him beyond manipulation right now, and the more Flint talks the more he sees through him to the point where he knows he can't stand by Flint any more. The pain. They care about each other so much but Flint's too messed up to realise what he's doing to his friend. He calls Gates Hal. I'm sad.

While Flint tries to get at least a fraction of his shit together, Silver has somehow already got himself into some fresh shit, this time with Randall. It's been hinted at before, but this is the episode where we all really begin to wonder how aware of his situation Randall really is. Some of his scheming suggests that he's actually quite coherent and smart, but maybe he just has moments or maybe Silver is just really good at getting through to him and the rest is chance. It's too soon to tell but it's definitely worth bearing in mind. As we see at the end of the episode, Randall definitely isn't going to give us any answers himself. Whatever his intentions (or lack thereof), he's certainly causing some challenges for Dufresne in his first day as quartermaster. Honestly, even post-throat tearing, I still love Dufresne. He still gives off panicked nerd slightly out of his depth vibes which I massively relate to. De Groot, Dufresne and that other random guy are trying their best, but they're no Flint or Gates and this is all a bit much for them. Silver's gaslighting for his life and he's too good for them and Dufresne & De Groot's weird test. Silver keeps asserting that "he's not a joiner", but at this point he learns that sometimes he has to join to survive. Both he and Randall live another day, but Dufresne's faith in Flint has been brought down a notch. I don't think De Groot's ever had much faith in him, but nobody seems to listen to that ship wizard.

Eleanor has managed to more or less get things functional with her shipping consortium. I'm not entirely sure why anyone gave Naft any power, but I guess they are where they are. And now, to shake things up, Mr. Scott's back! You'd think that this would maybe help clear up some misunderstandings between the two of them, but their relationship is too complicated for that at this point. Eleanor is tired of being controlled by all the different men in her life, of whom Mr. Scott is admittedly one, but Mr. Scott is also right when he points out that Eleanor's family does literally own him. It's hard to work around either of those facts. At least, between the two of them, they manage to more or less free the slaves, but beyond that it's clear that they're at a point of fundamental disagreement and, although it's not exactly going to help things, Mr. Scott probably made the best decision in joining Hornigold's crew and just getting out of the way for the time being.

Speaking of interpersonal emotional pain, Flint now has to confront Miranda over the letter that put him in deep shit. I think the source of the problem is that the two of them are living very different lives and, as a result, have very different outlooks on their situation. Flint is out there doing things and interacting (however badly) with people, whilst Miranda has been shut in that house with only Pastor Lambrick for company for god knows how long. As a result, she's willing to make more sacrifices than him, because, for her, it's true that "(they) have no life (in Nassau)". Or, possibly, asking for forgiveness from England would be more of a sacrifice for him (we still haven't got the details of their backstory yet). This is possibly the first Flint monologue that has made me want to cry. I mean, just, "It requires an intolerable sacrifice. To apologise ... to England ... They took everything from us and then they called me a monster." The emotion reaches through the screen and chokes me every time. It's also worth noting that he says "they called me a monster", not "us", which feeds back into the whole asking for forgiveness being harder for him than for Miranda. It feels like Thomas is almost in the room with them, like whatever happened between those three is really the topic of their discussion, but that they can't talk about him and, when Miranda does break this unspoken rule and just mentions "him", it's enough for Flint to storm out.

So Eleanor and Flint come together in their repective lonely miseries. Flint is once more showcasing some healthy coping mechanisms, winning us back onto his side by embodying wet cat energy. The dynamic between the two of them is a bit weird for a moment there, and I'm beyond Flint goes for a forhead kiss. God knows we've had enough awful heterosexual sex this season.

Eleanor is probably the only person who trusts in Flint at this moment, though. Gates has not only given up on Flint, but actively betrayed him (understandable, given Flint was planning on stealing a bunch of the gold). Dufresne trusts Flint even less than Gates, and, between the two of them, things are not looking good for Flint. Also, secrets between anyone probably won't help any of their situations given what they're going in to. As if taking a Spanish treasure galleon wouldn't be hard enough.

Meanwhile, the remainders of the Ranger crew are scattered and struggling. Anne is generally not happy, though I'm not sure why. Jack is being robbed left right and centre by the prostitutes he's supposed to be in charge of. For some reason, Max has a problem with this. Max has a very strong moral code that I can't quite figure out-- it goes beyond being self-serving, but she's also not clearly loyal to any one person or ideal. Either way, she prompts Jack to sort his shit out, which he does actually begin to do.

Vane, meanwhile, has reached his destination. I've watched this episode quite a lot of times, and I'm still not sure exactly what's going on there, but the best conclusion I can come to is that there's some kind of logging business going on, which that man (Albinus, according to Black Sails Wiki) is running using what is almost definitely slave labour. Vane knows about this place because he used to be enslaved (?) there, hence the matching scars, and wants to use the labour to take back Nassau. Something about being back there, however, flips something in his mind and, presumably being faced once again with the cruelty of Albinus, decides that, if he is to be "strong" (whatever that means to him), he needs to kill him. (We also get what I think is the first use of the term "proper pirates" in this scene, which is just generally an interesting theme to follow) Ultimately, we get Vane rising from the fucking dead, naked, covered in blood, and looking like some kind of monster. That is a truly spectacular way to end an episode.

[minnesota-fats]

I have seen many of Talia and Bruce are Dannys parents and heard of Danny being Selina's son and but NEVER have I saw Danny still being Maddies son, but Bruce is his biological dad too.

( It could be from a very drunken one-night stand and while Jack knows Danny isn't his biologically, he still treated him like his son which made Maddie love him more )

Maddie doesn't even bother telling Bruce out of fear he might use his money to take Danny from her and the whole Playboy Image wasn't helping.

Like imagine the meltdown from Damian since he's not the only blood son on top of being the youngest son to boot. And if he sees Dani he slowly gaslights himself into thinking she's the secret love child of his father and Selina and might worries there is some weight to Bruce's Playboy Image and there's a 4th blood sibling out there.

Talia wondering who the heck is this Madeline Fenton and how the HELL did she get give Bruce a son first? She's now in the top 5 on her shitlist.

And Vlad having a stroke at the realization that Danny is NOT Jack's bio son but freaking Bruce Wayne, the Playboy from Gotham. And if Bruce and Vlad don't like each other than this will be even more hilarious.

I have seen a fix with Jason as the blood father and Maddie still his mom but not Bruce!

I wonder how they would have met, Maddie and Bruce? Was there a engineer convention at Wayne tower? I bet Bruce had to go and Maddie and Jack were there because SCIENCE!

But Jack probably ran off leaving Maddie at the bar and Maddie just straight up NOT having a good time because this was the 90’s and if I am not mistaken a good chunk of the engineering field was male dominated and a bit misogynistic. And she got fuckin’ plastered and in her drinking haze might have even mistaken one tall black haired blue eyed man for another and decided that leaving with an equal (probably less so but still) drunk Bruce was DTF this random red head because he was also sick of all the misogynistic scientists around. (Also we all know that Bruce has a thing for women who can kick his fuckin ass!)

Or if your not into that the only other thought I had was Jack and Maddie have an open relationship and the reason Maddie doesn’t date Vlad is cuz he’s a big creep! (Jack would so date Vlad if he was given the chance!)

Anyway, after she wakes up and takes one look at the man next to her and is like, “that’s not Jack…” before hightailing it’s out of there!(probably in some sort of eccentric way) She looks for her actual husband the morning after. She realizes what has happened and was going to go home and sleep off her hangover before she tells her husband what had happened. Depending on the scenario Maddie would either be a bundle of nerves or she would be excited to say she found out she slept with Bruce Wayne of all people. (Even though he is known for his Brucie persona, both Jack and Maddie know no simple minded man can run a business like Wayne Industry’s)

Either way Jack would be hyped cuz BRUCE FRICKIN WAYNE!!!! And when he found out Maddie was prego be ever MORE FUCKIN HYPED cuz OH MY FUDGE ANOTHER BABY! (They may not be the best parents but they sure as shit love their kids) Maddie isn’t sure she should keep Danny but seeing Jack so excited she realized it didn’t matter because if he was so happy and she would be happy too.

Cue danny being born and Jazz being a big sister who is very excited to finally know where babies come from (and for her new baby brother I guess). Years later it probably would have never come up again but Vlad during his cloning phase decides to look into Danny’s dna some more. “Probably jacks dumb dna messing with their proses!” (Vlad would so gaslight himself into believing that even though intelligence doesn’t effect dna) and he finds not a sing bit of Jack in Danny.

After recovering from the shock of it Vlad starts scheming, comes up with a plan to use this to drive Jack and Maddie apart. Goes to Jack and in the most dramatic way possible tells Jack about the SHOCKING discovery that danny isn’t his son!

And Jack is like, “oh I know that! And don’t be silly Vlad! Danno might not be mine biologically but he’s still my boy!” And Vlad is about to rip his hair out because of course Jack wouldn’t be bothered with that! What a FOOL!!!

Then Vlad thinking he could salvage this decides to tell Danny who just thinks Vlad is fucking with him until Vlad barrages into the house at 9 am after looking more into who Danny bio dad would be and in the most offended outrage Danny has ever seen from the older halfa says “you slept with BRUCE WAYNE????” To Maddie causing both Danny and Jazz to spit out whatever the hell they were eating all over the table. (Jack: I know right? Pretty cool!!)

After that discovery Danny yeets himself into the ghost zone cuz wow, isn’t that a world shattering discovery to be thrusted upon you at 9 in the morning!

How the Batfam find out I’m not entirely sure? Maybe Danny wanted to meet him (probably not) or maybe it was ghosts hearing about it from some fight that Vlad and Danny have in the GZ and spreading rumors from ghost to ghost until it reaches the undead ears of Boston Brand (Deadman) who tells Constantine or Zatana who tell Bruce who just is plain confused as to why ghosts of all thing would know he has an unknown son (who may be dead???) Or maybe Talia finds out first and sends assassins to kill Maddie (who takes them on like a fuckin’ champ!) and Bruce follows the league of Assassins activity and finds that one woman he had a one night stand with and sees her son who looks too much like him to be a coincidence. Or maybe Damian found out first and this was when he first came to live with Bruce and he was still a little murder-y. He fucking tracks Danny down and is like “there can only be one!” And Danny is like “one what???? But jokes on you there is also more than one of me!” (Dani/Elle) thus causing Damien to go into a rage only to be stopped by what ever Batfam came to stop him! (Danny: what’s with the small angry child?) Dami pouts but moves on. (Can’t kill what’s already dead, maybe???)

Either way Danny would be welcomed into the bat fam with open arms! (Dami is reluctant but comes around when he finds out about Cujo (Dami: and I guess Danny is ok too))

[bokutoslittlebird]

The Perfect Family

Alpha!Bokuto x Beta!reader x Beta!Akaashi

Author’s Note : If you’ve read the little drabbles and asks with the fluffy BokuAka family, then you’re in for a surprise. Those were not canon to the actual works I created, it was just something nice to write and think about. This will not start off fluffy at all. This will also include the pregnancy process, so be warned of that ; This is a sequel to my Kinktober piece, Threesome with Bokuto and Akaashi ; I’m so sorry it took for fucking ever

Warnings: Omegaverse, noncon/dubcon (explicit use of the word r*pe), gun play, choking, water torture (attempted drowning), gaslighting, manipulation, watersports (briefly, kind of), mindbreak, dumbification, pregnancy, creampie(s), asphyxiation, lactation, knotting, breeding (technically), degradation

Kōtarō’s rut had finally ended, pumping you full and fucking you into a stupor, all while Keiji made sure to have him give you a break. It was the week for you and Kōtarō to catch up, after all. You were bonded to Kōtarō and Keiji now, you were their mate, so you had to be taken care of. With the stinging pain on your shoulder from Kōtarō’s mark, you were only missing the legal document to bind you to Keiji the normal, Beta way. Keiji was currently thinking about which ring to get you, since Kōtarō had already decided on his “proposal” gift. Keiji figured you’d need time to adjust, however, as he was laying on the couch with Kōtarō’s arms wrapped around him, you missing. There was a cute show that they were watching, Keiji was sure you’d like it. You weren’t allowed out of the bedroom yet, so he would have to show it to you another time.

Once Kōtarō had been satisfied and Keiji had recovered, both got to work on making your stay permanent. You attempted to leave, but Keiji was quick to cuff you. Kōtarō held you down, forcing you to struggle until there was nothing left to do except lay there. Kōtarō had to go back to Osaka soon, so he was trying to enjoy his last few days in Tokyo.

“That was a fun show. Cute, too,” his yawning interrupted his sentence, cutting it short. Keiji nodded in response, snuggling closer to Kōtarō. The Alpha was warm and comfortable, it gave him a sense of home. “I gotta go back tomorrow, Akaashi,”

“I know, Bokuto-san,” Keiji sighs, knowing he’d have to work on their new pet by themselves. It was going to be a struggle. At the beginning of the week, you were so pliant and easily coerced into things. Now, you wouldn’t look or talk to them. Kōtarō threw a fit yesterday, screaming and crying because you weren’t the same person, you were much more distant. It’s the same when it comes to Keiji, however. You only looked at him with betrayal and sadness, even then only looking at him briefly. You exhausted yourself, but you were fighting them. Distancing yourself and giving them the silent treatment. It made Kōtarō not want to leave, you being so upset at him, but he didn’t have a choice.

Kōtarō needed to find a new place for everyone to live, of course. With the high probability of you becoming pregnant, you couldn’t be living in Tokyo, hours away from your alpha. Knowing you would be carrying his pups without him around had Kōtarō growling, Keiji gently patting his arm. Kōtarō calmed down at that, indulging in the calming scent of Keiji. Keiji has already been bonded to him, so it wouldn’t be as stressful if he wasn’t bonded — you were both his mates and therefore, you could be trusted in Keiji’s care. It was still hard to go. He didn’t want to leave with the state you were in.

“What place were you thinking about?” Keiji mused, running his finger in a pattern on Kōtarō’s arm. Just something to do as he mentally planned for the upcoming weeks. The type of house would determine how long those weeks would be.

“Some place big, but close by the gym and practice gym. Maybe traditional? I’ve always wanted to live in a traditional, zen kind of house,” Kōtarō’s eyes lit up as he talked, images and scenes of a large house full of his lovers and his children, playing volleyball in the yard. Keiji smiles at that, knowing it would be at least a month. Enough time to have you positively pregnant and to get you settled into your new role. It’d take effort, of course it would, but he could do it.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Bokuto-san,”

“Ya know, we really gotta get used to calling each other by our given names. You’re gonna be a Bokuto, aren’t’cha?”

“Well, of course I am. Just like [Y/N]. We’ll be the Bokuto family,” he sighs, closing his eyes as the name settles in his mind. The Bokuto family has a nice ring to it, he thinks.

Kōtarō spends his last night cuddling you to sleep. You want no part of it, lying stiff as a board as he presses kisses to your neck and rubs his hand over your stomach. It’s a sickening thought, the possibility of getting pregnant. If you really had been ovulating during the rut, you most likely were pregnant. It’s not like you’d know or not, you barely leave the bed to urinate. It’s disgusting to have to deal with, but even when you do get the bathe and do your business, Keiji is right next to you, ready to intervene if necessary. Although Kōtarō is often in there with you, lathering up your body as his touches become less innocent, Keiji’s stone-cold gaze forces you to not attempt anything silly.

When the morning comes, Kōtarō is desperate to keep something of yours until he can see you again. In order to keep him happy, you acquiesce to his demands and let him take your used clothes, yet to be washed. As if the lingering scent of the morning sex isn’t still clinging to his skin. You can’t smell it, nor Keiji, but you know it’s there as you watch him dress himself, tucking himself away as he rambles on about his plans for the future. Three kids for him, two for Keiji, a nice big house, just the ideal lifestyle for anyone. It’ll never happen, though. His delusions will soon shatter when you stay distant and refuse to love him or Keiji.

Keiji waves goodbye to you, saying he’ll come back when he’s done with work. He plans on taking Kōtarō to the train station and then going to work, so you’ll be stuck for the next few hours. Until dinner time, that is. After an hour, you hear a ping from your phone and reach over to look at it. You can still use your phone, of course, but any possibility of calling for help is useless. In this society, nobody would help you. Not only that, your phone is bugged and linked to Keiji’s. He knows when you unlock your phone, what you do at what time, and how long you’re on it. You’re almost positive he can shut it off if he wants to.

The noise is a message from Kōtarō, telling you he misses you already. A roll of the eyes as you lock it, setting it beside you again. You’re able to barely reach the table beside the bed, but none of the drawers. One hand is secured to the headboard, wooden and strong enough to withstand Kōtarō’s ruthless rut. You feel restless as the day has only begun, the next time you will be able to move out of the bed, if at all, will be when Keiji comes home.

The doorknob to the apartment jiggles, making you jump. Keiji should’ve gone to work, so the sudden noise was unexpected. When it finally turns, you expect to see the familiar hair of your former friend, the tousled raven hair and the broad build. Although the man has the proper stature, the hoodie covering his head and the cheap-looking mask covering his face prevent you from properly identifying him. You can’t tell if he’s smirking or not, the intense feeling that he’s giving off tells you he is. With your hand secured to the bed, you really don’t have much in the way of options. The phone is still an option, but you doubt you could get to it in time.

The man lunges towards you, spurring you to attempt to grab the phone. Your fingers brush the metal device before your arm is forcefully gripped and twisted. You scream as your body twists, attempting to lessen the pain. It’s useless, but you still try. When your mouth opens, he quickly shoves something round and hard in it, your tongue pressed against the barrel of the gun.

“Don’t move a muscle,” his voice was low and hoarse, as if he was adjusting it to hide his identity. It was still unfamiliar to you, your brain unable to register what was going on. The man easily overpowers you, using his weight to keep you pinned to the bed. Fear prickles your skin, the chill setting in deep into your bones despite the lingering warmth of the fading Summer heat. It’s a horrible feeling, frozen in fear as your mind races, unable to do anything except stay still. It’s horrible, the fact you listen to the stranger’s demands despite wishing you were dead and out of Kōtarō and Keiji’s grasps. The gun is removed from your mouth, but the knowledge of it being in his possession is enough to keep you compliant, barely acknowledging the man’s hands moving to slip under the dress you were kindly given.

To keep yourself ready and easily accessible to both Keiji and Kōtarō until they had to part, it was best to slip you into a plain and simple white sundress. It was a present from Kōtarō, a small way of saying you were his now. With the lack of panties or other undergarment, you were essentially naked to the intruder as he sat on his heels, dark eyes scanning over your form. You were shaking from the fear, the unknown, but you weren’t attempting to move or thrash about. It was so easy to take advantage of you, you already nice and wet for him, too. The slick buildup from the morning session with Kōtarō lingers, as well as the creamy substance of his seed fucked into you. Unless the intruder was an Alpha, he couldn’t do much damage, but the thought of leaving you alone without a touch, a taste, was too unbearable.

It didn’t take long for the feeling of something hard and thick to push against your folds, collecting slick and teasing, your sensitivity making you whimper at the touch. It was a sudden plunge, forcing himself deep into your cunt as he groaned, your walls clenching around him. You thought the groan sounded familiar, but there was no more time to think on it when he put his hand on your throat, effectively shutting off proper access to your lungs. Your walls tighten again around him, him finding it hard to retract his hips but thrusting back in. His pace isn’t too fast, but his thrusts are brutal as he continues to drive his cock into your sensitive and abused pussy. He’s not an Alpha, you can tell by the lack of an inflating knot, but it still remains that you’re being violated by an unknown man. The whimpers coming from your throat are all you can release, barely sucking in air to stay conscious. When your vision starts to fade, the man and the walls of the room slowly blurring together, you start to panic.

The gun is still beside you, but it’s not your concern. The bullet in the chamber can’t threaten you unless the barrel’s against your head, but the hand currently cutting off oxygen is threatening your life. Attempting to dig your nails into the fabric of the hoodie is useless, his work gloves keeping his hands from getting any marks, either. Your lungs burn from lack of air and your vision slowly fades to black, a heat and chill settling over your body at the same time as you continue to feel his body pinning you down. The brutal fucking is the only sensation you still have, the stinging of your skin as he snaps his hips to meet yours and the squelching sounds from your sloppy pussy, cum and slick spurting and coating his cock as he chases his own high. You don’t know if he finished inside, your sensations dying out as you slip into unconsciousness.

When you wake up, your lungs ache and your face feels wet. When you flutter your eyes open, you’re faced with the creamy beige walls of Keiji’s bedroom, the lamp and phone on the bedside table. A presence is beside you, a large hand gently brushing your hair. Your eyes widen as you jolt, Keiji gently shushing you as he holds you. It’s comforting, someone familiar beside you after the experience you just had. You don’t know what happened after everything went black, but the smell of Keiji’s morning coffee and his cologne calm you down, tears spilling out as your fists bunch up the fabric of his shirt.

“I had a bad feeling, so I immediately came back home. I didn’t expect you to be completely unconscious, what did you do?” He asked, oblivious to what had really transpired. It was painful to recall, the fear from before rising again as you remember the man’s stature, looming over you as he pinned you to the bed. Another fit of tears come, the droplets soaking the white of Keiji’s shirt. “Darling, you need to tell me what’s wrong. What-“

“A stranger,” a hiccup interrupted you, red and tired eyes looking to his face. He looks confused, so you need to press on. “He broke in. Violated me. He— he ra-“

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. If I had known something so horrible would happen, I wouldn’t have left you all alone. You could’ve come with me, but you’ve been so naughty, you know,” his voice is gentle, but there’s a certain chill in his voice that has your fear spiking. His hands are warm, caressing your back as he speaks. “But, you know, you cheated on Bokuto-san and I. I have to punish you,”

“I— I didn’t do it on purpose!” Why were you defending yourself? Your mind had to momentarily adjust itself, the feeling of helplessness from earlier now back. Once the cuff had released the headboard, it was nothing for Keiji to force you into the bathroom. No amount of strength you had could compare to him, nor height. He wasn’t afraid to hurt you either, almost smashing your fingers in the door frame because you wouldn’t let go. “Akaashi, stop!!”

“Akaashi? Now, we can’t have that. You should address me properly, dear,” he grips your face, smushing your cheeks together as you find yourself practically flung into the tub. It’s already full of hot water, almost scalding, as he holds your head under. Struggling once more, it’s futile. His strength far surpasses yours, stature looming over you. Under the water, his image is distorted, but the way he looks down at you feels familiar. Before that thought can continue, you feel your lungs burning as you thrash again, thoughts only focused on surviving. When your head is pulled up, you gulp air as you cough, water sputtering as you do. “You need to be punished.”

“Let me go, I didn’t do anythi-“ your head is once more under the water, nails digging into the flesh of Keiji’s arms as he holds you still. You didn’t get a good gulp of air, so you’re quickly back at the previous feeling of helplessness as your lungs burn, vision blurring. Before everything goes black, you’re once more pulled from the water. Your face is hot, either from lack of air or the heat of the bathroom and water, you’re not too sure. But Keiji is sure of one thing and that’s the way you’re clinging to him. You were digging your nails into him, squirming and attempting to leave, but now your nails were digging into his as your grip tightened around his forearm. You were clinging to him, unconsciously seeing him as your savior, as he was the one who controlled your ability to breathe, therefore your life. He could drown you if he wanted to, but Kōtarō wouldn’t like that. No, he just needed you to depend on him, change your stance on how you saw your lovers.

Keiji also couldn’t help how delicious you looked, drenched as steam rose from the water, your white dress floating around you as if you were an ethereal being. You looked angelic and untainted... an urge to corrupt you washed over him, compelling his body into the steaming water. It was a tight fit, but he managed. With his sweatpants on, it was easy for him to simply push down the waistband and pull out his cock. “Now I have to cover up that man’s scent, or do you want everyone to know you’re a whore?”

“Akaashi, enough, this isn’t any diff-“

“Are you saying I’m a rapist? That’s what you’re implying, right? If you really think that, then I’ll be that. I would never purposefully hurt you,” his words contradict his actions, his hard cock pressing into your walls as he speaks. Sensitivity still lingers, your legs twitching as he sinks down to the hilt. “You’re saying I’m the bad guy, aren’t you? Well, how about I be the bad guy? Let’s recreate the scenario,”

“Akaashi, please, stop!” You cry out, weak limbs attempting to push him off. Hot, fat tears stream down your cheeks as Keiji licks them away, kissing their trails as you continue to sob at the feeling. It was a horrible feeling, being helpless, but a part of you knew you were safe. Keiji wouldn’t let you die, the only thing that prevented you from putting more effort in. Even with the splashing water, he kept one hand on the back of your head to prevent you from going under. Keiji’s pace is always the same — slow strokes, but deep and meaningful as he rocks his hips into yours and makes sure to roll his hips. It’s a completely opposite of Kōtarō’s, brutal and relentless, but Kōtarō fils you out more. Keiji has to make sure you feel every ridge, every vein, every pulse from his cock and have it completely engraved into your mind.

When Keiji gets close, he holds you closer to him, kissing your neck as your hands grasp at the tub’s edges, mind reeling from the force of your orgasms. Your nerves are on fire, your walls constantly clamping around Keiji’s cock like a vice, all while he rides out his own high. He presses a sweet kiss to the mark on your neck, where it meets your shoulder, right where he sports a matching mark on his own skin. It’s Kōtarō’s bond, what links him to the two of you forever. With a final thrust, Keiji spills deep inside you as he kisses you deeply, forcing you to swallow his moan of pleasure as he swallows your mewls. You’re still tight around him, walls fluttering pathetically around his girth as he relishes in the way you feel, keeping his seed locked inside you.

When he breaks the kiss, you’re both panting heavily, chests heaving for different reasons. “There. Now he’s gone,” a gentle kiss on your temple. With those words, a silence settles over the room. Although the stranger may be gone, in his place stands Akaashi Keiji.

The next day, Keiji is home.

“Just a precaution, dear,” he had said. “So nothing else bad will happen to you when I’m not here. You wouldn’t want that, would you?” With those words, he convinced you of his intentions. The previous day’s events had you rattled, the fear of being alone subconsciously rooted into your mind. A small whimper of Keiji’s name, his given name, had him smiling and cooing at you, taking you anywhere in the apartment you wanted to go. It was nice to finally leave the bedroom and bathroom sections, seeing the front room and kitchen, able to hear and see people outside the windows. You dare not let your eyes linger too long on the windows, covered completely with only shadows passing by, nor on the door. The door which had a recently newly installed lock, to take extra precautions. A passing thought of how it seemed to be so quickly enforced comes by, leaving as you become hyper aware of the blank gaze Keiji gives you. It’s not blank, per se. It looks blank to many bystanders, but to you, you know he’s focusing. He’s watching you and analyzing what you do. It’s a test.

A test you seem to have passed, when he calls you back for a bath. He doesn’t guide you there, no threats, just a simple “Come along,” as he walks towards the same bathroom he almost drowned and violated you in. The fear and anxiety of going back has your flight or fight response kicking in, the seemingly easy option of flinging the door open and leaving has your legs moving. But Keiji is quicker, stronger, and smarter than you. Before your fingertips can even graze the lock, your face is slammed into the floor.

“You were doing so well, too,” his feet are planted on either side of you, one moving to plant itself on your back. With a bit of force, you’re screaming as he has his heel pushing into your spine. “You deserve to be punished.”

“Fuck you, Akaashi!” You spit, squirming and wriggling to get him off. When his foot moves, you attempt to get up, but soon he drops down and fists your hair in one hand, the other pushing your cheeks together.

“I should wash that dirty mouth of yours,” he growls, shoving your face against the floor. By shoving, he essentially drops you into the floor. With a burning sensation in your nose, you feel a vaguely familiar liquid trickling out, a small red dot beneath you. He does it once more, making sure to keep his hand on your head to prevent you from getting up. “I trusted you to listen to me, [Y/N],”

“I’ll never listen to you,” you declare, hands balling into fists beside you. “I’ll never forgive you and Bokuto for what you did. I’ll never forgive or forget how you raped me, either!”

“I did no such thing. You enjoyed it, whore. You clamped around me like a vice last night, just as you probably did the stranger that violated you. Can it be consider violation if you were wet? What about when you started to enjoy it?”

“How would you know that, unless-“

“I know how much of a slut you can be, sleeping around with Alphas in high school and other Betas. You probably got off on being raped,” He sneers, putting more force in his hand, making it uncomfortable as your cheek is smushed against the floor.

“Fuck you,”

“I’ll take that as a yes. As a punishment, you won’t be leaving that bedroom for some time,” he finally lets you free, a large breath of air inhaled as you realize he was putting his weight on your lungs. “Come here,”

Wrenched from the ground, you find yourself dragged, kicking and screaming, back into the bedroom where Keiji cuffs you to the headboard. He’s huffing, but he manages to get both wrists cuffed to the headboard. Back to square one, with you refusing to acknowledge him while he tries to talk. Well, he does talk, you’re forced to listen.

When dinner time comes around, you expect some plain chicken broth or maybe even water, but instead you’re given nothing. Keiji doesn’t come in the room at all. The water running let’s you know he’s washing dishes, but where’s your meal? When his humming enters the room, you know he’s coming down. When he opens the door, in his hand lays a plate with bread crust and crumbs, along with some pocky sticks. Just two, however. Barely considered a meal. “Dinner!”

“You’re kidding me,”

“Dear, you know I don’t joke around easily. You were naughty this afternoon, so you’re going to eat my leftovers. Bread crust and some stale pocky sticks is the only thing on your menu,”

“I’ll starve instead,” a glare sent his way does frazzle him one bit, instead almost makes him... chippier. As if you’re falling for his well hidden trap. A nod and he’s gone, your only source of food with him. He won’t enter to room again until nighttime, so you’re left to wallow in your own solitude, something you used to take for granted.

When Keiji does finally come into the room, you’re excited to see him before remembering you don’t like him. Instead of taking the key and releasing your restraints to sleep, he grabs his pillow, his blanket, and his phone charger. “Where are you going?”

“Well, since you obviously hate me, I thought it’d be best that I leave you alone. After all, that is what you wanted, yes?” A small smirk is on his face as your eyes widen, thoughts running through your head as he takes his leave. Without a bid goodnight, Keiji leaves you alone in the room. With no possible entertainment except your mind, you feel uneasy. Unsteady. The world is suddenly dropping you off in an empty room with nothing and you can’t think of anything to keep yourself entertained. The television set buzzes to life outside, while the popping of popcorn fills your ears along with the melted butter smell. An urge to move flits around, but you decide it is best to not.

The next day, it’s a similar situation. Within three days of Kōtarō’s leave, you’ve found yourself craving his company more than ever. Keiji is ruthless and merciless, entering the bedroom for clothes and then leaving for work. He doesn’t talk to you, he doesn’t look at you, he barely enters the room anymore. You feel your stomach grumble at the thought of food, your mouth dry from the lack of fluids in your system. A pathetic way to die, one would think. With the lack of nutrition, your body will eventually decay or fall into an unstable state. Keiji isn’t a dunce, he knows this — at least, he should. Why then, you wonder, is he allowing this? Not only are you completely attached to the bed, but you haven’t been able to get up at all, even for bathroom use. The urine has stained the sheets, turning the pristine white cotton into a grimy yellow color, the ammonia stench covering the entire bedroom. You felt like a helpless child, in dire need of your parents to come home.

In a way, that’s what it was. You were helpless and needed someone else’s help. You need Keiji’s help. You can only go so long before you end up breaking, and you’ve reached a limit. The disgusting liquid under you was the final thread, the squelching and squeezing every time your hips move to a different area to attempt to leave the spot resulting in a failed attempt. The white dress was soaked, first from the bathroom incident and now it was dyed yellow due to your own fluids. Kōtarō wouldn’t be happy with those results.

When Keiji finally comes home, you hear him. You hear the door close and a sigh. Waiting for him to enter the room is quickly disregarded as you call for him. With no hesitation, he arrives at the room, looking at you. “You called, darling?”

“Keiji, please. I’m sorry I was bad. I need you, please don’t leave me,” you cry out, pulling on the cuffs. Shushing you, he quickly attends to your wrists, red and raw from the tugging, pulling, and twisting you’ve done over the past day. Once one hand is free from the restraint, he’s happy to feel it grabbing his shoulder, a silent beg to not leave. “Kei-“

“I know, I know. I won’t hurt you,” his words calm you down, sobs turning into hiccups as he guides you off the bed. Your legs are weak, unstable from lack of use, so he bridal carries you into the bathroom, not caring about the urine. After setting you on the toilet, he strips you of your dress and starts the bath. Trusting you to not move, he leaves. Another test, to see if you’ve really shaped up after the last attempt.

Keiji stands in the bedroom, pulling the sheets off the bed and removing the pad. He puts them aside, but waits. No movement from the bathroom, not even the toilet seat squeaking or the shutting off of the water. Continuing to put the sheets and dress away, he picks out a set of panties — new and clean, a treat for being good — to go with the pastel pink sundress. It looks exactly like the other one, except the color. After getting a towel and a change of clothes himself, he leaves.

You’re still sitting on the toilet, looking at him as he enters. Perking up, you push into the hand the caresses your head, brushing the tangled hair. He stops the water, guiding you into the tub. Once you’re settled, he strips down and joins you.

“You’re not going to hurt me?” You ask, voice dull.

“Of course not. When have I ever done that?”

The next day is such an improvement, Keiji can’t help but let Kōtarō know how well you’ve adjusted. You’re compliant out of fear rather than love, but Kōtarō doesn’t know that. He’s so excited to see a picture of you cooking in the kitchen, he probably wouldn’t care. The picture doesn’t capture the longing look at the knives, the fleeting glances at the door, the rigidness of your body as Keiji wraps his arms around you. It’s small gestures, but you never move to accomplish the action. Your finger might twitch, a gulp as you see the unlocked door, but you continue on. You make the noodles, you bring the tray to Keiji, you sit in his lap and allow the arms to secure your place. The food is something you’re ever thankful for, the lack of food spurring your resilience into breaking. With a gentle blow, Keiji feeds you the ramen you dutifully prepared for the both of you all day.

You never looked at the door again. You never looked at the knives unless you were cutting something. Even with Keiji breathing down your neck, eyes focused on your hands, you didn’t twitch or move to hurt him. You went to the bathroom and didn’t complain when he joined you. Even when he had to do his little daily checkup, you didn’t complain. The first time, you mentioned it tickled and questioned what he was doing, sticking his nose between your legs as he pried them open. He just smiled and said he needed to know if you were healthy, to which your questions easily stopped. Although he occasionally swept his tongue over your still wet folds, you never told him to go away and leave you alone. Even when he went further and had put you on the bathroom’s countertop before diving between your legs once more, your fingers thread themselves through his hair as you moaned.

When the news of Kōtarō coming back reached your ears, you didn’t know how to feel. Keiji was the one to help you, give you comfort, so you didn’t feel too excited to see Kōtarō. Keiji knew this would cause problems, as Kōtarō was expecting you to be as loving to him as you were to Keiji. After an explanation of the situation, you promised to perform appropriately for Kōtarō. With a whispered threat of locking you up again, you easily complied with everything you were asked to do. When Kōtarō came through the door, he was easily able to catch you as you jumped on him. “Welcome back!”

“Aw, [Y/N]! I’m glad to be back!” He nuzzled into your neck, indulging in your scent. You could easily pretend to be in love with Kōtarō, but your scent would tell him if you were feeling off. With his superior senses, you had to be forced into a mindset where you did love Kōtarō. Threats and memories of the past had could nodding along, situating yourself into his life easily. “I missed you, a lot,”

“Well, we won’t have to be gone for so long again, right?” You ask, a pout forming. “Or are you going to leave me?”

“Oh, no! You’re gonna live with me,” he grins, a closed eye smile. Your eyes widen as the information is processing, Keiji coming from the kitchen.

“It was a surprise for you. We’ll be moving to Osaka to be close to Bokuto-san,” he’s drying a knife, one he recently finished washing, but it’s also a silent threat. Kōtarō didn’t see the horrified look on your face, but he sure did.

“O-Oh. Okay! I can’t wait, when are we.. when do we move?” Twiddling your fingers, Kōtarō wraps his arms around you once more, effectively picking you up. No hesitating, your legs wrap around his waist as he looks up at your face, love flooding his eyes.

“You’ll move in with me tomorrow. Once Akaashi’s boxed everything up, he’ll join us. Our room is all set up, and there’s lots of rooms for kids. Speaking of-!”

“Another time, Bokuto-san,” Keiji harshly whispered, Kōtarō’s eyes widening before smiling, nodding. You didn’t know what that was, but you then focused on Kōtarō moving to the couch.

“Let’s eat, I’m starving! Maybe I can have something special for dessert, if you know what I mean,” with an added eyebrow wiggle, you shyly smile and nod. It’s what Keiji told you would please Kōtarō. It’s what Keiji told you that you need to do.

The dinner itself is fine, but when you ask to use the restroom, Kōtarō points out the red splotches on your white dress. Panicking, you attempt to locate the spot as your face heats up in embarrassment. Keiji then points out the bit of blood on Kōtarō’s pants, making you think your cycle has started. At that mention, Kōtarō’s growling in anger as you seize up in fear, unsure of what to do. Keiji tells you to change while he deals with Kōtarō, you immediately obeying and going to the bedroom.

“I thought ovulating meant she would get pregnant. Why isn’t she pregnant? Were you wrong?” Kōtarō asks, still angry. He knows he scared you, your lingering scent of fear in the room and around him. He thought he could smell another scent on you, but he didn’t know what it could be.

“Bokuto-san, I know this is frustrating but it’s possible she didn’t get pregnant. However, spotting is a sign of pregnancy. It was only a few drops. If she has anymore blood leakage that gets heavy tonight, we’ll know,” Keiji is able to calm down Kōtarō, who rolls his shoulders back and lies against the back of the couch. “Do you want to change your jeans?”

“Nah, it’s barely noticeable. Plus,” a thumb runs over the denim, Kōtarō licking his lips as his eyes darken, “this is like she’s claiming me, right?”

Kōtarō does not force himself on you that evening. Instead, he just cuddles you that night. It’s a differing touch than Keiji’s, who ends up rolling to the other side of the bed in the night. Kōtarō holds you close and tightly all night, snuggling closer to you, as if it was possible, and nudging his nose in your neck. It’s sweet, you think, as he caresses you like you’re made of glass.

The next morning, Kōtarō has you properly dressed to leave with him. A set of panties, sweatpants, t-shirt, and a hoodie. It’s a casual set of clothes, but they are all you came to Keiji’s house in a week and a half ago. Kōtarō says he’ll get you better clothes once you’re settled in, but you feel uneasy as you bid goodbye to Keiji. He worries about your mental state once you’re alone with Kōtarō, but he just has to hope you’re able to seem stable enough for a day.

In Osaka, you feel like your life is beginning anew. It’s not much different from Tokyo, but as Kōtarō guides you through the streets, it becomes known that Osaka has a lot more greenery. It’s very beautiful, in your opinion. When he stops in front of an old house, you glance at him. “Our new home, sweetheart!” He cheers, kissing your cheek as he picks you up. Carrying you inside the house, you notice the security. The gate is only opened via pin entry, which the gate itself is roughly 2 meters tall. Even the door to the house requires thumbprint access, a very modern and technological touch in an older, traditional house.

He shows you to your room, which is also his room, but yours too. It has its modern touch, with the remaining aspect of futons to lay on. The cameras in the hallway also are in your view, the one in the bedroom and the hallway. Looking into each room, you notice they are containing cameras, but one room is different. “What’s this?”

“Oh? This is our nursery! So, when you have a baby, it’ll be in here,” he chirps, pointing out things in the room. Scanning the room, you notice the lack of camera secured.

“Where’s the camera?”

“What— what camera?” Rubbing the back of his neck, he fakes confusion. You see right through it.

“I noticed the other cameras. There’s not one here,”

“Oh, well, that’s because this room has baby monitors!” He gestures to the white device. A nod of understanding has the tour moving on. Showing you to the kitchen, you notice the pantry and fridge are stocked. “Would you make me dinner?”

“Of course. What do you want?”

“You, served hot and steaming in the bath,” he grins. Eyes widen as you realize what he wants, you sheepishly laughing as you acquiesce.

Kōtarō is much rougher than Keiji, you knew that, but the way he fucks you with fervor as he hasn’t seen you in almost five days is something akin to his rut. Sinking his teeth into your skin, remarking his territory as he spurs you into your first orgasm of the night. Your nails are digging into his broad shoulders, the only thing you can use to keep yourself grounded. The setting wasn’t in the bathroom, but rather the bedroom where he claimed he wanted to “seal the deal” of you coming home. Legs tighten around his waist, back arching as he continues to drive his cock into you and litter your neck with less painful marks, claiming already claimed territory. As he presses a wet, sloppy kiss against your lips, you scream as you tighten your walls, feeling his knot force its way inside you.

A warm hand rubs the side of your body as your walls convulse around him, squeezing as he pumps you full of his cum. It’s a memory to you, but it feels so warm and fulfilling, you immediately relax in his hold as he continues to pepper kisses along your body. It’s a comforting feeling, being praised and cared for, a drastic difference from the way Keiji treated you a few days ago. Well, how you think he treated you a few days ago. He said he never did it, but your body said differently. With Kōtarō’s eyes of love looking down on you, you didn’t think it mattered. That was in the past, this was the present. You felt comfortable here, that was what mattered.

When Keiji arrived with a bunch of boxes, you were told to make them lunch so they could eat when they were done. Kōtarō said he didn’t want you straining yourself after last night, so you agree to his demands. Deciding to make some udon for lunch, you get to work as they lug in the boxes. The boxes aren’t large nor heavy, but watching Kōtarō easily lift three of them with no effort, while Keiji brings in two at most with also no effort, you feel yourself get wet at the thought of them hot and sweaty afterwards. With a possible treat in mind, you work more diligently, mentally preparing yourself to ask them.

Keiji mentioned he’d be looking for another job while Kōtarō was at the gym. It would be the first time you would be alone and free to roam. You begged Keiji to not leave for too long, hands grasping at the fabric of his shirt as he pried your hands off. Kōtarō gave you a sweet kiss before he left, telling you he’d try to hurry back, but you knew Keiji would get back first. Sitting in the large house, you didn’t know what to do except cook and sleep. Your phone screen lit up with a message from Kōtarō, a picture of him blowing you a kiss with a message of ‘I miss you!’ under it. You smile at that, sending back a message that you miss him, too.

Before you lock your phone, you look at the many games you have on it. There’s one game you don’t remember being on it, it looks like a tracker app. Clicking on it, it welcomes you and it shows how far along you are in.. pregnancy? First reaction is to panic, how do you know if you’re pregnant? Going into the internet app, you search up symptoms of pregnancy. One that jumps out to you is the spotting, only a little bit of blood as the sperm fertilizes the egg. It is most likely what you did on Kōtarō’s lap, the day he came to Tokyo. Another surge of panic comes as you think of your lovers, your mates. With Keiji looking for a new job and Kōtarō being busy with being a professional athlete, they don’t have time to take care of you and a baby. You decide to not tell them.

Although you decide to not tell them, the next week is excuses of your recent symptoms. You find yourself more exhausted than usual, not even getting out of bed to bid goodbye to Kōtarō and Keiji. Not only that, you end up in the bathroom as you feel sick, but only half of the times does something come up. It’s when you have another episode of morning sickness does Keiji pop the question. “Should I get a pregnancy test?”

“N-No! I’m not pregnant, just some bad sushi!” When Keiji’s grip on your arm gets tighter, you whimper. “Keiji, stop hurting me,”

“I’m not hurting you, I just need you to tell me the tru-“ the door shutting cuts him off, his attention to the door of the bathroom where Kōtarō is, panting.

“Something’s wrong, isn’t it? I could sense it,”

“I’m just a bit sick-“ “She’s pregnant-“ You both speak at the same time. Your eyes widen as Keiji looks at you.

“Pregnant? Now? Really?” Kōtarō is ecstatic, but you don’t take it that way.

“I’m not, I promise! I’m sorry!” You beg. Kōtarō’s mood turns sour, the anger directed towards you. Keiji stands back, but he doesn’t interfere.

“Why are you lying to me? If Keiji says you are, then you are! I know you’re lying!” He kneels on the ground and grabs your shoulders, digging his meaty fingers into the flesh. You yelp in pain, attempting to get him off. “Why are you doing this?! You were doing so well!”

“Stop, Kō-chan, stop! You’re hurting me!” A call out of his childhood nickname has his rage quelling, as you brush his hands off and rub the stinging skin. “I don’t want to be pregnant,”

“This isn’t about what you want. It’s about what we want, do you understand that?” Keiji speaks, voice low and threatening. You quickly nod your head, attempting to explain yourself.

“I- I thought that you wouldn’t want a baby because you’re both busy! I don’t- I don’t want to burden you more than I do,” with your words, the anger and rage suddenly evaporates as they understand.

“Burden us? Baby, we love you and do everything for you. You’re going to be carrying my pups and Keiji’s babies, we want this. This is all I ever hoped for,” Kōtarō coos, taking your hands and pressing a kiss to them. A fit of sobs escape as you wrap your arms around him, hiccuping into his chest. Keiji sits and smiles, knowing you have completely adjusted into the proper role.

With the news of your pregnancy, Kōtarō is able to get off a lot more to be there for you. You’re no omega, so it’s not as if he has to take off for 9 months, and Keiji is there to take care of you. Keiji takes care of any appointments you need to do, signing you into a private hospital nearby where Kōtarō’s teammate’s omega gave birth. A list of what was normal was given to you and Keiji and what would be a cause for concern, so you made sure to drill into your head about the possible problems. It was vital that you were able to give birth, being able to give Kōtarō and Keiji what they wanted all you needed to take care of yourself. Keiji prepared your meals, making sure you were eating properly even before the bump showed.

When the bump became prominent, you were glad that your wardrobe consisted of dresses. The dresses you had were all loose-fitting and easy to move around in. With the upcoming winter months, you had lots of blankets and an oversized jacket, bearing Kōtarō’s MSBY number and logo. Kōtarō couldn’t keep his hands off of you, always rubbing your bump and pinching the extra fat you were putting on. Worry over the added weight was a brief concept that quickly evaporated as Kōtarō voiced how much he loves the extra meat to fondle and love, tickling you as you giggle afterwards. Keiji couldn’t say he disagreed with Kōtarō, the added weight adding to your cuteness charm as you did the most basic and minuscule things. He could disagree with Kōtarō on the obsession with the pregnancy milk, however.

Lactation was painful, the way your boobs ached as they were full of creamy milk. Although they ache, Kōtarō encouraged you to let him drink from them. Hesitation was in the beginning, but once his lips had secured themselves on your nipple and started sucking, it was quite relaxing. The tender ache in your breasts were gone as Kōtarō drank from them, but he often had to drink from both of them due to Keiji’s aversion. He didn’t see the appeal, he rather enjoyed teasing your nipples when the sexual appetite of yours had risen, but he didn’t see the appeal in drinking the milk. Keiji did oblige Kōtarō, however, in looking into lactation cookies, which would increase milk production and could even make it taste better. It was worth a try, as it would help the children to develop as you breastfed them.

The lactation cookies Keiji made looked awful, but tasted amazing. You would have eaten all of them had it not been for Keiji stopping you. Kōtarō seemed excited, immediately begging for another go. He’d have to wait until nighttime, since he often took naps after you breastfed him during the day.

At night, you often slept completely naked, able to easily feed Kōtarō if he woke up in the middle of the night. Your sex drive had risen exponentially in your second trimester, to the point Kōtarō had to request off to take care of you. He made sure to keep his promise, stuffing you with his thick cock and plugging you up with his cum or lapping at your folds until your fluids splashed against his face. With the third trimester underway, your libido has decreased while your milk had increased, but that didn’t deter Kōtarō from getting frisky. Even as Keiji bathed away from you two, he couldn’t help but touch himself to your whines and mewls.

Kōtarō has been riding a cloud since your pregnancy came about. Even before the milk, he found it hard to resist fucking you, especially with the added sensitivity. Your breasts were larger now, bouncing with every thrusts as he tweaks the nipples, watching the cream dribble from them. He can’t help himself, really, as he goes to attach himself to one of your perky buds. When Keiji enters the room, he chuckles at the sight.

“Should we worry that there won’t be enough milk for you and the baby?” He muses, sitting on the futon next to you. Your hand grasps at his silk shirt, bringing him down to give you a kiss. Even as Kōtarō drills into you, you want more. A wet pop resounds around the room as Kōtarō laughs, groaning in your ear as he plugs you with his knot, pumping you full.

“The pup can have those bottles, and with help of those miracle cookies, we should be fine. You sure you don’t want to at least try a bit? It feels nice for her, doesn’t it, my little Beta?” He coos, pressing kisses to your cheeks as you come down from your high, walls fluttering around Kōtarō’s cock.

“It relieves some pain, I’ll admit that,” you smile at Keiji. “You can try,”

“Well, how can I say no to that?” He smiles back at you, brushing hair out of your face. Kōtarō massages your breast, holding it so Keiji can attach his lips to the nipple. His eyes focus on the creamy liquid dripping from the bud, only to become transparent as it follows gravity. When he does get a taste, he knows he’s in trouble. It’s as delicious as Kōtarō said, creamy and full that makes you want more. As he sucks with fervor, you giggle and Keiji is joined by his other lover, suckling any milk he left behind. It’s such a strange thing to happen, both grown men sucking on your chest as if they had been born only recently. With the swell of your stomach, you knew they’d have to share their milky mine.

As your due date drew near, you found yourself unable to do anything alone. Kōtarō was off completely until you delivered and Keiji was no longer looking for a job, as it was decided Kōtarō made enough for everyone to live comfortably. He knew he’d have to find another job soon, as more children were born and needed to be fed, but that was a well ways off, at least 9 more months.

What started as a normal day soon turned to chaos as preparations for delivery expedited when your water broke. The hospital had your room prepared already, but it was for your week stay as you were three days away from your date. Kōtarō was in a frenzy, unsure of what to do but desperate to do something. Keiji has to drive to the hospital, while you were doing breathing exercises with Kōtarō in the back seat. It was the birth of their first child, so even Keiji was panicking, but he was also excited.

Once settled into the room, the nurses had to check to see how far along you were dilated. Kōtarō was anxious, his scent permeating the room as he started to pace. The doctor had come in, spurring him into a fighting mentality because the doctor was another Alpha. Keiji and a nurse had to get him out of the room, with a promise he could see the children once they were born, but he would have to wait in the waiting room. Weakly calling out his name and telling him you were fine, he obliged as he left, punching the wall once as he felt his emotions boil over. Keiji was by your side, holding your hand as you squeeze it, pushing when the doctor told you to.

When the room was filled with screaming, the clock chiming as 12:15 had arrived, signaling the date of birth of your first born son. With his stubby arms and legs, you laughed as you held him, Keiji getting the honor of cutting the cord. The baby still needed to be cleaned and checked over, so the doctor and nurses took him while Keiji went to get Kōtarō. By the time Kōtarō and Keiji has come back, you were holding a small, but still big, baby boy swaddled in a thick blanket. Kōtarō immediately raced over to look over both of you, his scent out of control as his emotions mingled together. He didn’t know what to think.

“It looks like it’s yours, Kōtarō,” Keiji says, hand resting on Kōtarō’s shoulder. He smiles in response, looking at the baby’s golden eyes blinking open at him.

“Sure does, Keiji. I guess the next thing we should work on is proper marriage, right?” He watches as the baby grasps his finger, the small hand even smaller compared to his large one.

“A proper marriage, yes. The ring, the dress, the ceremony, you would like that, wouldn’t you dear?”

“Of course Keiji. Anything you want.” As you look up to him, he sees nothing but love in your eyes. He smiles, nodding in agreement.

“Well, as well as making sure the next one’s mine. We should start on that as soon as possible, don’t you think?”

[mathmusic8]

The Dragon Prince

Thoughts part 4 (spoilers)

I just realized the different seasons have names of the six magic elements—does that mean there will be 6 seasons?? That’s a lot. If it stays this good, though, I’m here for it

Also I was thinking about it, and now I’m wondering if Ezran’s weird taffy hippo dream was also significant, since Callum’s was? Maybe I'll go back and watch it later

Pffft watching Callum be super excited with his glow cube in Xadia is so much fun XD

Ahhh, the castle guards. I love them so much

So who actually is the Crow Lord? I really wanna meet him now. The Crow Master is a darling too though, so cute and awkward and relatable

I… I have so many feelings for Soren right now. On the one hand, he’s had so much character growth, and still maintains his adorable whacky side. On the other, he’s blaming himself pretty hard for something he didn’t actually do. Poor boy

It’s a fuZZY WITH A FACE THAT’S SO CUTE

Aww yeah, you go Ezran! Mercy for the win!

Ahh, there we are—I was wondering how he was gonna fit that crown over his hair haha

C’mon, Rayla, give the boy some credit—Callum’s elf was basically as good as your human XD

Also I guess Earthblood elves are Australian?

Oh no—advisor guy—don’t you dare go behind Ezran’s back. It will not end well for you

Rayla’s …a ghost now? Uh, okay?

YEEEEEE CLAUDIA!! CALL HIM ON IT!!

Oh no he didn’t

Prime example of gaslighting

Viren you are a horrible, horrible man

Oh great. Corrupt advisor. Another horrible man

Oh man, that Sunfire elf staff test would be terrifying—not being able to hear would make someone dependent on sight, and potentially losing their sight in some kind of test—that would be awful

What the crap, message thief? What’s your problem??

Hrrggggg bug—on—face—oh there’s goo—uaeiankwekaadfkandf ick ick ick that’s so gross!!

Hmmm. Why do I not believe Nyx? Why does she give me huge con-artist vibes?

HMMMMMM

Ezraaaaan what are you doooiiiing that you can’t take Bait with you??

So that—silkworm walkie talkie thing—put goo on his entire eye? kandoiehoIWRHOHFOIEBF GROOOSSSSSSSS

Whaaaaat is haaaaapeeennnning?? Ezran, kiddo, what are you doing??

I’M SO CONFUSED

Callum, Rayla, you’re both babies and adorable <3

Ah, right. Nyx is a con artist lady. Surprise surpise

I love Bait. He’s got the right priorities

…okay, so Ezran abdicated… but why is he in prison???

Is seriously no one gonna say “uh, dude, you got something in your eye”?

Sorrrreeeeen please please please tell me you’re joining the lady advisor and people… but I could see how badly you’ve been manipulated your whole life, so I could understand if you’re doing this to try to make it up for your dad. But it would still be tragic

YEAH SOREN HONEY YOU ROCK

Soren you’re a dork and I love you

The baker's there too? Love that XD <3

Aww, you could just go with them, Soren!

Oh? Was Claudia in on it? The way she’s emphasizing that euphemism makes me think she saw straight through Viren’s bluff. One can hope

Yeeeaah!! It’s the guard Rayla spared!! (I have a terrible feeling he’s going to be made an example of. But this guy is so brave in this moment)

Okay, at least they’re alive. But wow, Viren, way to instigate hate

No way—is that—the moon phoenix thing is filling the giant eagle trope, isn’t it? XD

Yes, yes it is XD

Soren I don’t know how many times I can articulate this but I love you so much

…and once again, Viren takes creepiness to a whole new level. Yes, let’s talk to the king about how his wife’s last breath was caught in a bottle so it could be used in an ancient powerful spell. I’m sure he’d love that (hope you can hear my sarcasm).

Viren. I have very strong feelings about you and your manipulations. Many of them involve fires and pits and bodily injuries.

Pfffft this poor dramatic prince dude has no idea how to handle this crazy family XD

Also I love Claudia’s little “bloiufdh” face XD

Oh… wow… that… that dragon king died a horrible death

This conversation flashback is so painful to watch

Are you kidding. The bird died right in front of the kid? That’s just mean

Ohhhh wait, right, she’s a phoenix. They do that

Oh looky, Viren’s creepy face is back, and I don’t see any butterflies hanging around here, do you?

I appreciate that conversation between Callum and Rayla about the mixed feelings for the big dragon king. It was timely

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What do you think would happen if one of the Cullens realized they might also be "in love" with Bella during Twilight along side Ed. Mates be damned (not like their marriages are gonna last anyway), and everyone's on the table (just 1 love rival, not at the same time buuuuut could you imagine the chaos? *cough*). The usual Bella eaten/killed by Eddy boi is def on the table obvie, but like do you think there's a chance he might concede to one of his family (or just any other alternatives)? -Sw

Oh boy.

Why I Don’t Think This Is a Possibility

That said, I have to caveat that I don’t think this is a very likely path (sorry, I cannot resist).

It’s true I don’t think any of the Cullen relationships will last in the long term, but I also don’t think they’re inclined to cheat on one another or fall apart at a moment’s notice. They’ve made it this long, several decades, but more, none of them realizes anything is lacking from their respective relationship. 

Carlisle and Esme are very devoted to one another and don’t realize they have fundamentally conflicting values. Jasper and Alice think they fulfil each other’s needs and don’t realize that they share nothing in common. Rosalie and Emmett’s is the healthiest relationship in the house but don’t see their major issues (Emmett doesn’t really support or understand Rosalie and Rosalie loves Emmett mostly for his love of her).

My point being, none of them are going to realize it’s not working out anytime soon. They’re going to need a catalyst, and per the end of Twilight, one is coming. Either a confrontation with the Volturi occurs, Renesmee decides to leave, the Cullen lifestyle changes, or things with Bella go awry. It can be any number of things, and it will happen given time, but at the start of Twilight we haven’t hit that point yet.

There’s also the fact that of the Cullens, only Edward would do this nonsense, and even for him it takes Bella’s delicious blood to grab his attention. When she was an ordinary human, he was not interested in the slightest, not even in her gift.

Each of the Cullens (Sans Alice and Esme) is completely baffled by Edward’s emotional whiplash and attachment to this human girl he doesn’t even know. Bella only becomes a vague concept to them when she enters as a serious fixture in Edward’s life, but even then, they really don’t know what to think.

No one in the family will do what Edward did in Twilight. Look at this girl they don’t even know and say “Ah, yes, I’m in love.” 

Now, that out of the way, let’s play ball.

Alice

This actually will work out shockingly well if only because I suspect Alice will come up with the pragmatic solution of “sharing”.

First, Alice is by far the closest Cullen member to Edward. He holds her in high esteem, feels a strong sense of kinship with her, actually confides in her, and sees her as a very close friend. Edward looks up to Carlisle and adores Esme, but it’s not the same.

If Alice sees herself as getting together with Bella I don’t think she’d see this as mutually exclusive to Edward having Bella. Alice cares deeply for Edward’s happiness, far more than she does Bella’s general existence, and I think the idea of entering a joint marriage with Edward and Bella would be very appealing to her.

She’d have to ease Edward into it, of course, as he’d balk at the very idea of it, but I think he’d see it as a strengthening of his and Alice’s relationship as well as having the wonderful Bella. Better yet, Alice can be physical with Bella while Edward can go compose music about their love.

As it is this... This is kind of what happens in canon.

Alice tells Edward that not only is he in love with Bella, but that Bella is going to be her best friend, so he better not muck it up. She has to ease him into the idea of being in love with Bella throughout the first part of Twilight. Then, when the relationship is solidified, Alice is right there introducing herself as Bella’s new BFF. Bella’s friendship with Alice throughout the series is extremely homoerotic and I imagine it remains so after Breaking Dawn.

Edward is very pleased that Bella counts Alice as her best friend, Alice being far and away his favorite sibling and the one he approves of Bella spending time with (generally, when she’s not foiling his schemes). 

I don’t think Alice and Bella will ever have sex, per se, but I imagine they remain quite physical with each other and Edward looks on with approval thinking to himself that this is how all female friendships should be.

And if Jasper has the nagging suspicion his wife is cheating on him then he’s not functioning quite well enough to put it into words just yet.

Carlisle

Edward would lose his mind.

First, Edward is very into Carlisle, and for all he insists his feelings are filial they sound remarkably romantic. I’d drop a quote, but it’s pretty much every time Edward thinks of Carlisle in Midnight Sun. More than that, Carlisle is the man Edward aspires to be, someone he sees as profoundly more good than he could ever hope to be.

Edward projects a very similar personality onto Bella herself.

So, I imagine if Carlisle sits Edward down and says, “Actually, Edward, I have fallen in love with this Bella” Edward feels very conflicting things all at once.

On the one hand, this means Esme/Carlisle is collapsing. Edward personally brought those two together and adores the idea of their relationship. Their relationship is what he hopes his and Bella’s will look like and is to him the married ideal of a perfect Mother and a perfect Father.

Carlisle/Esme alone falling apart would give him a complete existential crisis. That’s not allowed to happen. 

And then that Carlisle wants Bella Swan for himself?! Edward would be faced with the immediate,horrifying, thought that for all Carlisle is a vampire he would be the perfect man for saint like Bella. Carlisle and Bella deserve one another, would be perfect together, and Edward should not begrudge them that.

On the other hand, Edward himself is in love with Bella, and while he thought he could nobly leave her, now he has to nobly stand to the side and watch as Carlsile and her marry. It’d be a very romantic and tragic thing to do, but there’s leaving Bella to her human life, and then watching her up front for the rest of eternity while bitterly hiding his feelings.

More, Carlisle will turn her. If Bella is his true love, then there’s no question of that. Edward’s seen where this goes with Emmett. He will destroy Bella Swan to be with her forever, and Edward will have to live with the shell of Bella Swan staring back at him, fucking his father, forever.

I imagine Edward desperately pretends to concede to Carlisle, to be happy for the pair of them, but as things progress and Bella’s permanent position in the family looks more and more likely, he loses his mind. He’ll snap and there is no telling what he might do.

My money’s on him mercy killing Bella while she’s still human behind Carlisle’s back. He’s sobbing while he does it, but he just can’t let Bella be tarnished by vampirism, and now he will carry this tragic, terrible, secret for the rest of time.

Whether Carlisle was going to turn her or not is up to debate. Given he turned none after Emmett, I think he learned his lesson from Rosalie and would be more than willing to let Bella go, even if he loves her, should it mean he would not force something she does not want and does not understand upon her.

That said, I think he’d never tell Edward his feelings for Bella, as that would ruin Edward’s fledgling relationship with the girl. This is Edward’s first brush with love and seems to be the only romantic love he’ll ever have. Edward has been so miserable for so long that Carlisle would easily give up his own happiness for Edward.

So, more likely, Twilight would happen anyway and Carlisle would spend the entire time being utterly miserable and pretending he’s perfectly fine. LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS, ESME.

Emmett

Edward tattles to Rosalie immediately.

He loves Emmett, but he knows Emmett can’t possibly be serious about this, and more, fundamentally doesn’t understand how wonderful and amazing Bella is. He wants to turn her into a vampire, clearly, Emmett doesn’t know what’s best for the girl.

More, a man who would so easily break his marriage vows (even to Rosalie), does not deserve Bella Swan.

Edward watches Rosalie and Emmett’s marriage utterly disintegrate with a juice box filled with mountain lion blood and swoops in on Bella while Emmett is thoroughly distracted. Edward then gaslights Bella into believing Emmett is dangerous and despises her, making Emmett the new and improved Jasper.

Esme

Esme would never tell Edward or likely even realize her feelings for Bella herself. If she did though, she would give up the possibility of a future with Bella Swan in a heartbeat for Edward’s happiness, which means everything to her.

Esme will have no regrets, won’t even smile sadly at Bella, because she has Carlsile as her consolation prize and she gets to see the joy in both Bell and Edward’s faces which is far more important than having Bella to herself.

Esme would live vicariously through Bella and Edward’s relationship as well as the very existence of Renesmee.

Like Alice, this is one of those things that’s pretty much canon. I won’t say anything for Esme’s feelings, it’s more that Esme ships Bella with Edward (and mostly because Edward himself comes to obsess over her), but she does seem to vicariously get her joy through their nuclear family within the Cullen family.

Esme is a very strange person.

Jasper

Edward would attempt to murder Jasper or at least severely injure him. Jasper would be the ultimate threat to Bella, not even a man unworthy of her but not a man at all, and exactly what Edward needs to protect Bella against.

Alice tries to stop the fight, to no avail, and Edward will ultimately lose (despite all his confidence). I imagine Jasper doesn’t kill him, but tears apart his limbs, and uses Edward’s lack of mobility to kidnap and then turn Bella.

Bella has no idea what’s happening and the next thing she knows she’s a vampire and Jasper is telling her they have to leave the area (as he must now leave the coven).

Edward tries to track them down for the rest of eternity. He will get vengeance upon Jasper and save Bella this terrible demonic existence forced upon her. Of course, he ends up lost in Rio.

Rosalie

Edward would tell her that her feelings cannot possibly be real. Bella is a woman. More, Rosalie is unworthy of Bella in every possible regard, even more so than Edward himself.

Basically, Edward would lay into Rosalie in a way that he never has before with all of his venom. He will do everything he can to sabotage Bella’s opinion of Rosalie before Rosalie can even get a word in edgewise. He is successful at it due to Bella’s perilously low self esteem (much the reason he was successful with this endeavor in canon).

Rosalie and Edward get in a vicious fight and I imagine Rosalie eventually confronts Bella, making an opportunity to do so, and both warns her away from Edward, tells her everything, and offers to turn her despite Rosalie’s own mixed experiences.

Rosalie and Edward probably then fight and it quickly turns into something that’s very serious. If Edward wins, he murders Rosalie in the heat of the moment, and then leaves the coven in horror over what Carlisle must think of him now. If Rosalie wins... I don’t think she will, she cares for Edward far too much and would never truly be able to aim to kill or maim.

Edward disappears, drowning in his self hatred, and returns to find Bella Swan at some later date unable to resist the call of her scent. Depending where she is in her life, he likely murders her human husband if she has one and dvours her, as Alice prophesied so long ago.

[ratmonky]

Love Loser

Word Count: 7.7K

Warnings: Obsession, Manipulation, Gaslighting, Chikan, Breeding, dub-con

AO3 Link

“Be careful and don’t forget that a professional sorcerer is going to pick you up from the station,” Gojo hugged both Megumi and you. “Don’t talk to strangers and don’t waste your allowance on junk food.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Megumi pushed him away. “We’re going to ride on the train for only two hours, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“It feels like just yesterday when I met you two…” Gojo smiled, ignoring Megumi, and gave a dreamy sigh, still hugging you. “Now, you’re leaving me~”

“We’re gonna come back,” Megumi mumbled. “You know that.”

“He likes to be dramatic.” You finally broke the hug. “Do you want me to say anything to Yuuji?”

“Tell him to come back!” Gojo pouted his lips, wrapping his arms around himself. “It’s because of him that all of my students are leaving.”

“Wasn’t it you who sent him away to train with that sorcerer?” Megumi didn’t need an answer.

Gojo paused and his arms went limp, falling to his sides. “Yeah…”

“Did they leave?”

A familiar voice made you turn around. There she was, you had thought she wasn’t going to make it. With the biggest smile on your lips, you threw yourself in Nobara’s arms.

“Ahh, listen, listen, (name)! You have to bring souvenirs!” She was practically yelling in your ear and embracing you tightly. “I’m gonna miss you so bad.”

“We’re going away only for a week...” Megumi rolled his eyes.

Gojo leaned to whisper to Megumi’s ear. “They like to be dramatic.”

A loud whistle tore the chatter of the crowd in the train station.

It was time.

While Megumi took your bag from the ground and threw it over his shoulder to give you a little longer time to embrace Nobara, the two of you were giggling over something he couldn’t hear.

Another whistle came, only then you managed to let go of your friend to follow Megumi to get on the train. You stood in front of the closing doors to wave at your teacher and friend.

They waved back, Nobara blew you a kiss and it made you giggle.

Megumi lazily waved at the two through the door’s glass window as the loud whistle once again was heard. The train started rolling forward.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the two until Megumi pulled you toward a seat.

“This is exciting,” you smiled. “I wonder what kind of place Yuuji is staying at.”

“Yeah.”

“Yes to what?” you chuckled. “Is it exciting or-”

“It’s exciting,” Megumi said firmly. “I’m also curious about what the place is like.”

~~~

“Sometimes I wonder if that guy has a brain,” Megumi huffed and put his hand on his hip in annoyance. “I’ve never seen this professional sorcerer before so how did he think we were going to recognize him somehow?”

You agreed with a small chuckle but it turned into a gasp. Your eyes landed on a familiar spiky pink hair. A smile tugged at your lips as you dropped your bags to run forward.

“(name)-?” Megumi stood there in shock as you ran towards the man who was waiting with open arms.

“Yuuji!” You jumped into his arms and as soon as Yuuji caught you, he spun around laughing.

“I missed you!”

Yuuji let you down and held your hand instead as you walked over to Megumi.

He was frowning while Yuuji grabbed all of your bags to carry them himself.

“The sorcerer training me is out of town today. He’ll be back in two days. He told me to come and get you two to his house,” Yuuji simply explained. “How ya been doing?”

“Fine,” you said.

“Terrible,” Megumi groaned.

“Good,” Yuuji snickered.

~~~

A professional sorcerer’s house was more cramped than you thought it would be. Megumi and Yuuji had to share a futon together and sleep in the same room as you.

“You lived like this for a month already?” Megumi grimaced at the messy room.

Yuuji proudly smiled. “What? You can’t handle not sleeping in your own giant private room?”

“Don’t fight on our first day together!” You yelled from the kitchen.

Yuuji entered the room and leaned on the counter, watching you quietly.

You didn’t look up at him since you were cooking but he was oddly quiet. Finally, you asked what he wanted.

“I missed you.”

~~~

The village Yuuji was staying at was located very close to the mountains.

You were checking the map, “Our trail is starting here.” You pointed at the map on the ground, circling the small green spot with a red marker. “That’s our exact position,” you muttered. “We’ll go up to the mountain until this part.” You marked another spot on the map which was very far away from the current position, then slowly tapped the marker on the destination.

You gave a contented sigh, the cool air of the summer breeze was creeping on all of you as you folded the map and looked up, “Any questions?”

“No.” Yuuji jumped on his spot, “Let’s get going.”

You were the only one without a large backpack but you were carrying the necessity bag and the firewood was given into your care. It was all pretty heavy but it wasn’t anything you couldn’t handle.

Yuuji was leading the way, while Megumi was at the end making sure that nobody fell behind, which only meant you, since only you weren’t able to keep up with the others’ pace. You were right on one thing, hiking was very difficult and tiring. You were already drenched in sweat and it had been only half an hour. You took a deep breath while trying to walk up the trail, avoiding all the rocks and weird-looking plants.

Yuuji found a nice opening to take a break and eat lunch. The moment he put his backpack down he could see the two of you cheer with exhaustion, he laughed. “We’re going to eat lunch, we’re not there yet.”

Huffing, you sat on a big rock while Yuuji was taking out the lunch from the basket. Megumi handed water bottles to each of you. You took one and drank the whole bottle in one go, wiping your sweat to the ends of your shirt while lifting it, omitting the way Megumi was blushing.

~~~

“We made it!” you cheered.

The large clearing you arrived at was covered by tall trees and there were large rocks laid in a circle in the middle of the clearing. Yuuji claimed that it was from when he came here with his friends from the village before. It was simply a really popular camping spot but Megumi wasn't sure if he only eaned to bring you all here because there was a fire pit ready or for another reason. The plan was to have a nice hike and a picnic before returning back, you weren't going to camp here. 

“You should check the view from that cliff.” Yuuji pointed towards the north with a smile. “It’s gorgeous, I’ve never seen anything like its view, it’s enough to make anyone tear up!”

“Where?” you asked, handing him a bottle of water.

“It’s like ten minutes that way.” He pointed north again. “I’m pointing at it, can’t you see?”

“Well, I thought you were going to give us the exact directions if it was located somewhere tricky and-” Megumi was walking inside the forest slowly without saying anything, “Wait, Fushiguro!” you yelled at him for not waiting and dropped your bags next to Yuuji.

He stopped walking, you caught up to him and you walked deeper into the forest together.

It was dead quiet. If it wasn’t for the shaking of the trees and the sounds of the cicadas, you would feel uncomfortable. Megumi liked the silence, it was peaceful.

Only a couple of minutes of walking later, you realized, the view from the cliff was breathtaking.

“I’ve never seen anything like this before.” You couldn’t hide the excitement in your voice. The sunlight made everything look like a painting, the colors of the trees and grass were an impossible bright orange.

Megumi nodded in agreement. “It was worth the walk.”

“Right? I thought he was overexaggerating but it’s actually prettier!” you gave a light chuckle. “I’m glad we got to see it together.”

“Yeah.” His gaze hesitantly dropped to your hand. A million thoughts went through his mind and he wanted to reach for you, taking your hand in his and holding it tightly. He wondered what you would do, you would just laugh and let him hold your hand as if it was no big deal.

To you it didn’t mean anything to be with him at this moment, enjoying the view and standing beside him. But to Megumi, it was heavenly yet not enough. He wanted to enjoy more time together or even spend years together. He knew once both of you graduated, you would go different ways but he desperately needed to stay with you.

He knew his life wouldn’t be the same without you in it.

“Fushiguro,” you said, voice quiet and soft. “I think I have someone I like.”

His body jolted, gaze lifting up to your face. You were blushing faintly.

“Who?” His voice was faint, not very like him. Clearing his throat, he asked again. “Who?”

You put your hands on your cheeks and closed your eyes with a grin. “Ahh, it’s so embarrassing.”

From the way you were blushing, he knew who it was.

I like you too.

He wanted to say it out loud. Megumi started blushing as well when he opened his mouth. “I-”

“It’s Yuuji!”

Why?

Megumi’s eyes widened, the view he had thought to be gorgeous was turning into a glimpse of hell and your lovely expression on your face nearly made him retch.

Why?

“That’s why Nobara wanted me to come here with you, she keeps telling me to say something but I’m just soooo embarrassed! I mean, I wanna be with him before that happens.”

Why him?

Your words didn’t reach him anymore, even if they did, he couldn’t register what they meant. Each word was something he couldn’t comprehend when put together, it felt like he was going insane.

Why him but not me?

As long as he treasured this time you had together, to him it would be enough. He didn’t have to be with you forever. He was fine just being friends.

Right?

“I’m gonna confess to him, Nobara thinks he likes me and-”

“Don’t.” Megumi turned to face you completely, his head was dizzy.

“Why not?” You were smiling, oh how cute. Knowing why you were smiling like this made his throat clench. “Don’t you think he likes me?”

“No,” he firmly responded. Your smile faltered, lips pressing together in worry. He had to do it. He had to do something. He was desperate to do something. “He likes Kugisaki.”

I love you more than he ever could.

“Oh,” you said, gaze dropping to the ground. “I… I never noticed.”

“I know it because he told me. You shouldn’t get in between him and her.” His tone was colder than ice. He realized how badly his hands were shaking and quickly put them in his pockets to hide them from your view.

“I see,” you whispered. Perhaps, your best friend liked him too. It would be cruel to prevent them from getting together. Yes. Although it hurt, you were fine. Fine.

Your vision blurred with tears.

Ah.

Hastily, you wiped your tears and turned to look at the view one more time. Although your tears didn’t stop, Megumi didn’t want to say anything since he was fighting with his own demons but he couldn’t stand watching you cry.

“(name)?” You didn’t respond, so he took a step closer to you. “Hey,” he tried calling for you again and this time you flinched. You wiped your tears away with your forearms before turning to face him.

“I’m fine.” You beamed up at him despite how red your eyes were.

His eyes fixated on the ground in front of him. He was troubled, unable to look you in the face. “It’s not the end of the world.” His voice was calm.

“It still hurts.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Fushiguro.”

Yuuji was placing big smooth rocks around the fireplace that was already lit when the two of you returned. He smiled at you, “Took you two long enough.”

“Yeah, it was prettier than I thought.” You took a blanket out from one of the bags and spread it on the ground.

“You’re okay?” Yuuji asked, raising a brow. “Your eyes are red.”

Nodding, you brushed it off with a lie, “The view made me tear up.”

He laughed and patted on your back. “Told you!”

~~~

“Todo was very interested in (name) today, huh?” Yuuji said as they were walking to their dorm.

Megumi hummed. 

“I mean, she’s kinda cute, I’m not sure.” He laughed and then stopped in front of his friend, blocking the way. “Actually, scratch that, she’s very cute.”

A disgusted expression settled on Megumi’s face but he shook it off instantly. 

“What do you think of her?”

“She’s my friend.” Megumi sounded… conflicted.

“What’s with the pause?” Yuuji chuckled.

Megumi was trying to walk around him to get to his room so he could avoid this pointless conversation altogether but Yuuji was barely giving him any space to move around the hallway.

“I think I like her,” Yuuji stepped in front of him once again as he had just managed to walk past him, “(name) is pretty and I like her.”

“Do you like her only because she’s pretty?” Megumi’s anger was starting to turn towards his friend even though he wasn’t the reason for his anger. “What do you like about her exactly?”

For a while, Yuuji couldn’t speak. His brows furrowed in anger because he didn’t know what to say. 

“I think we both know the truth now.” Megumi looked down at Yuuji, sending him a warning glare.

The color drained from Yuuji’s face but he tried not to show his shock on his face. 

They glared at each other for a moment before Megumi let out a sigh. “But, you know what Itadori?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “I believe she deserves someone better than you.” He walked past his friend and into his room, leaving Yuuji behind, alone with his thoughts.

As soon as he closed the door, he collapsed on the floor with his hands covering his ears. 

This wasn’t supposed to happen. 

Why? Why? WHY?

~~~

Neither of you confessed to each other in the passing years.

Megumi made sure of it.

~~~

“Ahh, I’m jealous! You two already kissed?” Yuuji kept whining, hitting his head on the table. “What was it like? Did she squirm a lot? What did she taste like?”

Inumaki flushed red and shook his head, refusing to give him an answer.

“I never thought Inumaki would be the first one between all of us to get a girlfriend,” Panda commented, taking a bite from one of the small rice cakes before he mumbled under his breath. "Especially her."

“You talk as if you were gonna get one,” Yuuji responded.

“That hurt!” Panda held his chest, pretending to be in pain.

“To be honest, I always thought Fushiguro would be first.”

It became silent when Yuuji said that. Everyone was staring at him now.

“What?”

“You’re single, right?” Panda asked.

Megumi rolled his eyes. “Why are you asking?”

“You guys are next to graduate, Fushiguro! Find yourself a girl before sorcerer work starts building up!” Panda let out a noise closer to a groan and turned to Yuuji. “What about you?”

“Unfortunately, I’m single!”

“No, not that! Do you have anyone you like?” For some reason, they were yelling at each other now.

But that wasn’t the yelling that made Megumi almost drop his glass, it was the question.

No.

Don’t answer.

They will encourage you.

Unaware of all the things running through Megumi’s head, Yuuji’s cheeks blushed. “I... do.”

Panda grinned, “Who is it?”

Shut up.

Don’t say it.

Megumi watched Yuuji’s lips move in terror as he said a name he was familiar with. “Jennifer Lawrence.”

Letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, the tension on Megumi’s shoulders eased while everyone else was laughing.

He had to make a move before it was too late.

~~~

When they started running out of necessities in the dorms, it was usually two of the seniors who went to restock them. Since you were all seniors now, it had become your duty which none of you looked forward to.

“We’ll just play rock paper scissors,” Nobara said. “It’ll be fair.”

Yuuji frowned, “I haven’t won a single time playing this.”

“Well, that means Fushiguro will have his Saturday free, unlike you, Yuuji.” You cracked your fingers. “I won’t lose, I need to catch up with my show today.”

“Let’s get this over with,” Megumi sighed.

“I always go with rock,” Nobara said with a grin. You were smarter than to fall for her trick, you knew she was going for a scissor, you were going to pick rock!

All four of you stood together and shouted rock paper scissors in unison. Except for Megumi.

The result was as expected.

While Nobara and Yuuji had gone with paper, both you and Megumi had gone for rock.

Nobara yelled in excitement and turned to Yuuji, the two high-fived and cheered as you stared at your hand.

“I can’t believe it worked!” Yuuji laughed.

“Fushiguro is a lot dumber than I thought! He actually fell for it!”

“I didn’t fall for anything. I always pick rock first.” Megumi noticed how distraught you looked over losing and slapped your fist that was still hovering in the air, “Come on, let’s go before it’s too late. We can come back early if we hurry.”

You nodded reluctantly and then pointed at Nobara threateningly. “Don’t watch the show without me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she brushed it off with a wave of her hand.

Megumi realized the two of you were going to keep on bickering, decidedly, he put a hand on your shoulder to lead you out of the common room of the dorm.

After getting ready, you met up outside the campus. While you wanted to take the bus because it would be less crowded, Megumi insisted on taking the subway train which would be a lot faster despite being extremely crowded on the weekends.

In the end, you relented without knowing his true intentions.

The train was packed, even more than normal. Only then you remembered about Takada-chan’s concert downtown. Ugh, this was truly the worst. There wasn’t any place to hold onto and you were squished against Megumi’s body to the point of his phone in his pants poking your thigh.

The sudden turn of the train made you lose your balance and you held onto your friend. “Sorry,” you mumbled.

“It’s fine,” he said, not looking at you. “Hold onto me and stay close, otherwise you might disturb someone.”

Since he was tall enough to hold onto one of the bars above your head, he was able to hold his balance but somehow his body still managed to move against yours.

“Okay,” you murmured, gripping to his jacket and moving closer to him. “How long left?” You didn’t have the courage to complain about his phone poking you against your thigh but if you moved a little to your left, you could avoid it.

“Five minutes or less.” His voice broke into a sigh when you moved against what you thought was his phone. He was glad you moved away, now, you wouldn’t be able to notice the damp spot.

Getting off the train, Megumi quickly excused himself to go to the restroom. Taking the opportunity, you took out your phone to check out the list you had to buy one more time.

You were buying the necessities for yourself and Nobara while Megumi was going to buy the things the boys needed. It was a rule that helped both parties, boys didn’t know the difference between adult diapers and menstrual pads at the same time girls didn’t understand why boys couldn’t use fragranced hand lotions.

In the bathroom stall, Megumi wiped the inside of his pants and underwear as much as he could but the stickiness was there to stay. He put a paper towel perfectly lined up between his skin and the sticky fabric to spare himself from the discomfort. He had made a good choice to wear black pants today.

“Come on,” you whined as soon as he left the restroom and grabbed his arm. “We have to hurry to the mall.”

“Mall? I thought we were going to the store around the corner.”

“Nobara wants us to buy her skincare.” You showed him the text you had gotten from her and started pulling him towards the exit. “It’ll be fun anyway.”

Megumi let you drag him wherever you wanted, only focusing on how warm your touch was.

The loud chatter of the crowd, bright colors, children laughing, warm weather, and the smell of the delicious food.

“This sure takes me back.” You smiled brightly. “Malls are exciting. It’s like being a kid again.”

Although it was still a little early there were already quite a number of people in the mall.

“It’s too crowded,” Megumi pointed out.

“It’s because of Takada-chan’s concert downtown,” you said, with a quirky tone as you exited the drugstore. “I bet Todo’s there.” There was a pause before you beamed up at him. “Let’s go watch it together, they’re probably still selling tickets!”

He averted his gaze to hide his blushing face from you. “Didn’t you wanna go back to watch your show?”

You hummed. “Well, if we split up and bought everything we needed and met up back here… If we still had time, we could watch the end of her show!”

Megumi wasn’t a fan of that said idol but he was a fan of the two of you being pressed against in a small room as you jumped excitedly, perhaps you would even dance, moving your hips, and then he could get better friction than on the train and maybe-

“Hey!” You were snapping a finger in front of his face repeatedly, “What do you say?”

“O-okay?”

“Perfect!” You checked the time on your phone and looked around. “I already bought Nobara’s skincare so I don’t have much left to buy. I’ll meet you here.”

He didn’t even get to say something before you walked away. Thankfully, his list wasn’t as complicated as yours, it took him less than twenty minutes to buy everything and even had time to try out some of the samples being given out.

While he was looking down from the third floor, he could see you run from store to store, gathering all of the not-so-necessary stuff. His lips curled up to a smile and his phone buzzed.

It was a text from Yuuji, telling him to buy a new charger for his phone that he was going to pay for later.

Megumi lied and told him that there weren’t any phone chargers in the store.

Yuuji’s reply made his brows furrow.

[New Message]

Itadori: (name) called me n said u were in the mall dont lieeeeee to meeee  ):<  btw the concert is canceled cuz of heavy rain so i cant come sorry ); anywayy u should hurry home and buy an umbrella!!

So, you didn’t actually want to go and see the concert together with Megumi. Other than that… you called Yuuji… Why? You never called Megumi, you didn’t even text him.

His hands started shaking as the thought of you still being in love with Yuuji dawned on him.

He had been doing everything and anything to keep you guys away from each other. Purposely losing to be with you, making sure Yuuji was busy on the weekends so you could only spend time with Nobara.

What if you started going out with him?

What if you were already going out with him?

Megumi returned to the meeting point, you were already waiting for him. He tried to listen to your complaints about how Nobara was constantly adding new stuff to the list and how it took longer for you to buy everything or how heavy your backpack was but his mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. It was hard for him to hold a conversation when he was unable to comprehend why you were acting the way you were.

In front of the place Takada-chan was supposed to do her show, it was crowded but something was off.

“Why are people leaving already?”

With your remark, he noticed the majority of people walking back the path that was leading to the exit.

After a sigh, he spoke. “It’s canceled. Apparently, there’s a risk of heavy rain.”

“The weather reports never mentioned that,” you pouted and paused momentarily. “Wait… you knew about it?”

“There,” Megumi let out a deep breath, pointing at a sign saying that the place was closed due to the weather.

“Oh.” You looked away from him, mumbling an apology.

“We should hurry up to the station, it looks like it’s going to rain soon.” Megumi turned to you. “Come on.”

The two of you started walking back to the station but as crowded as the station was there was no way you could hop on any of the trains leaving right now. So, you took the bus with the disadvantage of having to walk to the campus once you got off.

“It’s gonna rain,” you whined, stopping to walk.

“Don’t fall back,” Megumi said, offering you a hand. “We’ll walk through the park, it’s a shortcut.”

You took his hand and continued walking in stifling silence until a peal of thunder was heard, loud and long.

Your grip on his hand tightened.

The downpour came after the loud noise almost instantly, it was heavy and rapid.

Megumi cursed and you both started running towards a tree. You still had a long way to go but the large tree would be a perfect shelter from the heavy rain thanks to its size.

By the time you arrived under the tree, both of your clothes were soaked by the rain.

“It’s cold,” you whined and wrapped your arms around yourself. “A sudden downpour is just too much!”

“They say the weather during spring changes rapidly.” Megumi took his jacket off. “This is a problem. I hadn’t brought any rain gear.”

“Nobody did!” you laughed, “The weather report never mentioned once about it raining today!”

He didn’t say anything and turned around on his heels. “Now, what?” He was talking to himself. “We should call someone to get us.” Megumi turned around to look at you. He paused, you were soaking wet. Your clothes were sticking to your skin and your hair was messy.

What’s with that appearance?

“I’m going to call Kugisaki and tell her where we are. She can come here with umbrellas so we can leave.” Megumi turned back around and patted on his jacket’s pockets to find his phone. Once he found it, he called her.

Kugisaki said she would be there as soon as she could but Megumi knew it would take a minimum of half an hour for her to even step out of the campus. That’s why he chose to call her.

“What did she say?” you asked when he hung up.

“She’ll be here but it might take a while.”

You sneezed, rubbing your nose gently. “We’re both going to catch a cold by the time she comes to get us. You should’ve called Yuuji.”

“You can’t even stop talking about him when you’re with me." His eyes widened after he said it, he had apparently said it unbidden.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He tried to move around you but stopped when you quickly laid a hand against his chest.

He couldn’t help shuddering at the contact. He had been trying to hold back all day but now that he had you here, alone with him. All he wanted to do was to press you against the tree, get in between your legs and-

“Are you alright, Megumi?” You looked concerned, completely unaware of his thoughts.

“I’m,” he started, trying to make his tone rational, serious. Stoic, like normal, as always. “I’m f-fine.”

He failed.

You frowned. “Are you sure?” Your hand pressed a little harder on his chest. “Your heart is beating really fast.”

Megumi pinched his eyes shut, taking a slow breath through his mouth. He was focusing on his own control. “Being stuck together like this… I can’t help being conscious of it.” His face was red as he admitted this. “I can’t really keep myself from focusing on you.”

“T-that’s kinda weird to say to a friend.” You took your trembling hand away from his chest, unable to say anything else.

He took a deep breath in and out before speaking. “I don’t see you as a friend.” His voice was devoid of any emotion. He was silent for a while, thinking. His eyes were serious, gazing down at you with desperation. “You’re beautiful,” he finally said. “I’ve liked you since we first met.”

“I… I like someone else, you know that… Fushiguro.”

He will die sooner or later.

He wanted to say it but resisted the urge.

“He doesn’t like you,” he said, his voice threatening to break. “Am I not good enough?”

You froze, seeing Megumi this vulnerable in front of you was too much. He wasn’t like this, he didn’t let his guard down in front of anyone. Yet-

“I just… I know we aren’t meant to be but I like him. It’s hard to give up on the one you like.”

“What about me?” he asked, “What about my feelings?”

At that moment, you got a glimpse of how much Megumi was hurting. Hurting and hurting. You had been acting selfishly, you had even told him your feelings about Yuuji all those years ago. If it weren’t for his warning, you would’ve been in his place right now. Being rejected by the person you liked.

Yuuji would have been gentler, he would have used all the words he knew that wouldn’t hurt you as he told you how he liked Nobara.

You weren’t all that considerate. This was all your fault.

“I-I will try to give up on him and give you an answer.”

“You need to be honest with yourself. How much more time do you need until you realize that he’ll never love you like me?”

His willpower and composure vanished. Everything that was holding him back, whether it be his thoughts or the consequences that might come after he acted without thinking was pushed back to the furthest back on his mind.

All he could think about was you.

“W-wait.”

“I can’t wait any longer.”

You watched him get closer to your face but didn’t move away from shock. Immediately, you closed your eyes shut. Although you couldn’t see him kissing you, the pressure of his lips was more than enough to let you know. Your pulse went berserk as his rough lips pressed against yours, eager and hard. He was firm, a little too forceful.

He placed his hands on your waist, feeling you up while his tongue pressed into your mouth, frenziedly trying to savor your taste.

A sound closer to a moan escaped you when he bit down on your bottom lip before leaning down and kissing your neck, forcing another lewd sound to leave your soft lips. He took a second to press a light kiss against your neck and pressed his hips against you experimentally. Slowly, just testing the waters, he grinded himself against you more firmly and let out a ragged sigh. Though he had already been hard, you felt him growing harder by the second.

“(name),” he whispered, full of passion. “Say my name.”

“Fushiguro-”

“Megumi,” he corrected. His skin was burning up and it felt like he was under direct sunlight, which given the weather, might have been far off. “Say my name.”

“Megumi.”

He pressed his forehead against yours. You were his and nobody else could touch you. He had to make sure of it.

“I like you,” Megumi uttered, he let out a soft sigh, letting his hand reach up to touch your face. He wanted to feel your skin, how soft it was but he stopped himself mid-way when he realized you had been crying.

Ah, so this was a failure.

He should have waited.

However before he could get any more anxious over anything, you got on your tiptoes and then your lips pressed against his.

You tasted sweet, your lips were soft and welcoming, urging him to do whatever he wanted to you, giving him your answer regarding his feelings.

His lips moved slowly against yours and his hands settled, hesitantly on your hips again.

A soft, wanton noise escaped you.

Megumi tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear with his shaking hand as your lips danced in harmony and he tugged you closer. He couldn’t stop himself from pulling you closer and closer. You pressed your chest flush onto him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He could smell your sweet scent, that scent he had been dying to know what it smelled like in person rather than your dirty laundry. He grinded into you frantically, making you moan into his mouth and allow him to snake his tongue further down your throat.

Your hips bucked against him, you were lost in lust to care about being in public. His eyes widened as another moan forced its way out of your throat. You tugged at his hair, pulling him closer to yourself desperately.

His face was flushed completely red as you kept letting out cute, sweet noises for him. He had to give himself a minute longer, cherishing the moment before withdrawing himself, unable to stop the grin that crawled up his face while a long strand of drool dripped from his lips and another small strand of drool connecting your lips together broke apart.

A soft gasp emerged from your lips as you looked at him dreamily. You were both blushing furiously, lips completely swollen and wet from the kiss and you couldn’t stop smiling at each other.

“You’re finally mine.” He pressed his forehead against yours, his hand on your cheek rubbed circles on the skin with his thumb. You stayed quiet, letting your arms around him stay there as both of you cherished the small moment of silence together.

“Ahem.”

Both of your smiles disappeared and the two of you let go of each other as if you were burned.

There stood Yuuji, holding his umbrella and another spare umbrella. “Kugisaki told me to bring you an umbrella,” His cheeks were flushed bright red because of embarrassment. “I didn’t want to interfere with you two.”

“Itadori!” Megumi took a step forward, his tone was frustrated. “This!-” He stopped, what was this? What was he going to say? Yuuji had most certainly seen you kiss or maybe more. Megumi had no idea of how long his friend stood there and watched you for.

“Even you should be able to fool around with a girl, Fushiguro!” Yuuji forced a laugh and glanced at you. “Are you two, well… going out?”

You glanced at Megumi, he was already looking at you.

His words from earlier came back to your mind. You had to move on, this was for the best.

“Kinda,” you answered.

“Oh, that explains a lot.” Yuuji’s stare found Megumi but then he quickly looked away.

There was a moment of silence.

“Could we just go home now?” you asked, realizing nobody was going to move unless you said something.

“That’s why I am here,” Yuuji beckoned the two of you to follow him.

You followed him to the campus. The two of you shared an umbrella together in silence and once you arrived at the entrance, Megumi hesitantly grabbed your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours.

“I’ll make you happy.”

It was a promise.

~~~

Passing days were normal, nothing out of ordinary.

You started dating Megumi and forgot about Yuuji.

“Short hair would look better on you,” Yuuji said, overhearing your conversation with Nobara.

“Nooo, her hair is fine as it is!” Nobara argued, walking over to the couch to hit Yuuji’s head. “You just like girls with short hair.”

While the two argued about it, Megumi slowly lifted his gaze up from the book he was reading to watch you blush.

~~~

“Don’t do that,” you whispered, trying to hold back your moan. “Nobara will hear.”

“It makes you feel good.” Megumi pushed his fingers inside your slick heat, lips pressing on your clit, “She knows we’re dating.”

“I-it’s embarrassing,” you stuttered.

“Is it embarrassing to date me?” He pulled back his lips but continued scissoring his fingers in and out of you.

“Noo,” you stretched the word out, biting back a moan. “Y-you know what I mean.”

“Hmm?” He lolled his tongue out and licked between your folds slow enough to make you squirm.

Your hands went to grab his hair out of instinct, trying to pull him back from your pussy. “M-Megumi, please… It’s embarrassing if she hears me do that sorta noise...”

Your words didn’t match your tone. He ignored your empty pleads and lapped at your cunt, his hands pressing on your inner thighs to keep them in place.

Instantly, you arched your back. Megumi’s tongue was hot against your sensitive pussy. It was nothing like when you touched yourself, it made your toes curl in pleasure no matter what he did.

His lips curled up into a smile when a moan escaped you, it was loud enough for Nobara in the next room to hear. He knew she wouldn’t stay quiet about it, running her mouth and telling Yuuji about how loud you were last night.

He sucked on your clit, drawing small circles over the delicate nub with his tongue and using the entire strength of his arm to fuck you with his digits. Your legs shook as your thighs pressed on between each side of his head, you were pulling his hair and moaning but Megumi didn’t stop until the pleasure building in your gut spread and took over all of your senses.

When your high came, it was euphoric, left you panting and exhausted.

Megumi threw himself next to you on your bed, one hand wrapped around his cock, “Turn to your side,” he whispered. Complying, you sluggishly turned to your side, your back against his chest.

Using his hand, he lifted your leg and guided his cock between your thighs. He let your leg fall back to instead use the same hand to cup your naked breast. “Press your thighs together.”

You followed his instructions with a hum. As soon as he felt the supple flesh of your thighs around his cock, he started moving his hips. Although he would have wanted to be inside you right now, he had time. He wanted to take all of your firsts one by one like collecting stamps and make sure to treasure each single first.

His lips pressed against your neck, he groaned softly as he came between your thighs. Turning around, you kissed him sloppily before burying your face on his neck.

It took him a while to catch his breath, he carded his fingers through your hair. “I like it like this.” He pressed a kiss against your hair.

~~~

The next day, Megumi was in the common room with Yuuji when you came back from hanging out with Nobara downtown.

He heard you mumbling and your girlfriend angrily scolding you through the halls.

“It’s definitely lipstick,” Yuuji said.

“Last time was lipstick, it’s probably because they bought the same dress or something.” Megumi shook his head with a faint smile on his lips, he was looking forward to listening to you complain about your day as you cuddled on his bed as usual.

“Wanna bet over it?” Yuuji smirked. “The loser has to clean the toilets.”

“It’s gonna be you.”

“I took my eyes off of you for one second!” Nobara was laughing but her tone was still upset as she entered the common room. “I can’t believe you!”

The boys were waiting for the reveal if it was a lipstick or a clothing item you two were fighting over but as soon as you walked in, they realized it was none of them.

“I think it looks good,” you mumbled, hesitantly moving your hand up to feel your haircut. “It was time for a change.”

The smile Megumi had on his face dropped, his eyes were on Yuuji who was smiling. “I think it looks gorgeous,” he complimented. It was a fairly innocent compliment but Megumi thought of it as something else.

“Thanks,” you said, cheeks blushing slightly. You walked over to your boyfriend, twirling around excitedly, “What do you think?”

“It’s shorter.” Megumi couldn’t find the words to describe how jealous he was but he made sure to not show it on his face. “Cute.”

“Aww, thank you!” You leaned and took his hand, pulling him up to his feet. “Now, help me carry the stuff I bought back to my room.”

You dragged him to the entrance hall, omitting the way he was frowning. He grabbed your shopping bags and followed you into your room without saying anything.

“I bought you something as well, it’s an early graduation gift!” You crouched next to the bags as soon as he put them down to look for his present. “I heard you’re going to have an internship in Kyoto and I also applied there so we can go there together.”

“Why did you cut your hair?”

Your shoulders tensed. “What?”

“Are you still in love with him?” Megumi’s tone was upset, he couldn’t hide it. “Is that it?”

Standing up, you turned to face him. “It’s just hair… I wanted to cut it so I did.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying, Megumi. I don’t like him anymore. You’re making a big-”

He pushed you towards your bed, your body slammed against the soft sheets and a surprised yelp left your lips but Megumi’s lips stifled the sound. He was being too rough, his lips were moving as if to devour you whole but it didn’t stop you from wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him back.

His hand went to pull down his sweatpants. Ahh, sweatpants, the great invention of mankind, saving him from the hassle of unbuckling a belt and undoing the zipper to free his aching cock.

“Wait,” you said into the kiss but he shut you up with his lips, his free hand going under your skirt to pull your panties to the side. Using the same hand, he grabbed the back of your knee to make room for himself between your legs.

Megumi broke the kiss slowly so he could gaze down at you. “You’re mine.”

Wanting to assure him, you nodded rapidly.

“Mine.”

“Yours.”

“You’re in love with me.” He positioned himself between your thighs and rubbed the tip of his cock across your slit.

You made a small noise to confirm.

Megumi pushed himself inside you. The feeling of your walls stretching and a sudden pain made a yelp left your lips. He pulled his hips back to confirm if he was your first or not, a sickening smile spread across his face when he saw the proof. Thrusting back inside, he made sure to push himself deep inside your cunt until you could feel the heat and shape of his cock.

As he was trying to find a pace, he hit a spot that made you squirm. With a smug smile, he angled his hips just right to find your sweet spot once again to turn your mind into mush.

With each thrust of his hips stroking your sweet spot, you felt... overwhelmed, that was the only word that could describe how you felt.

Eventually, his steady pace slackened and he planted his hands on each side of your head to start humping you like a desperate dog in heat.

Your toes curled and the pain from your hymen being torn became a faint memory. All you could feel was Megumi’s desperation.

The desperation he felt and his inexperience combining was too much. He put all of that frenzy into his hips. Your bed frame started banging on the wall from the force he put behind each thrust.

Mind going completely numb, your eyes rolled up from pleasure, hips moving to meet Megumi’s brutal thrusts. He growled when your gummy walls clenched around his cock, he stopped moving for a moment as his hands hastily went to the back of your knees to push them towards your chest. Mounting you completely, he started fucking you almost frantically.

In this position his cock went deeper and stroked the gummy flesh of your walls enticingly.

The tip of his cock pressed against your cervix, causing your body to start spasming, legs shaking and mouth drooling. “M-M-Megumi-”

Megumi was too busy chasing after his own release and he continued fucking you through your orgasm. He put his entire weight behind his thrusts, growling each time his balls slapped against your ass.

He leaned forward and buried his face in your neck, his lips parted and his teeth sank on the sensitive skin. Squirming, you moaned as you wrapped your arms around his neck to keep him there.

Your pussy clenched around him one last time, squeezing his cock to milk it dry. He managed to steal a few more thrusts before his cock twitched inside your belly. His thick seed filled your womb until it overflowed.

Continuing to fuck his seed deep inside you, Megumi barely managed to pull himself back. He stopped biting your neck, withdrawing himself to stare at how deep he had bitten you. The pain of being bitten wasn’t there or at least it wasn’t there for this moment, you couldn’t feel anything but his cum slowly seeping out from your hole. The warmth in your tummy was leaving your body and spilling onto your sheets instead.

“You’re so cute when you’re jealous,” you giggled, an eerie smile on your lips. “So easy to provoke.”

Thus Megumi became aware of something. You weren’t dumb, you were always calculating whenever you spoke to him, always watching and always doing things that would spur him on.

You didn’t actually belong to him.

He belonged to you.

[infinitecrime]

Just a quick statement in case anyone was wondering where I have been/will be. I've been taking, and will continue to take, a short Tumblr break until the SCU (Sebastian Cancellation Universe) wears itself out and goes on hiatus. I deleted Tumblr off my phone a few days ago and realised immediately that all this vicious, misinformed discourse pretty much solely exists on here and twitter, and if I want to avoid it, I can simply remove myself from the space.

I'm certainly not going to be gone forever - the head Canceller has made it quite clear that her sole intention was to "bully Sebastian off the internet", and presumably his fans too, while using POC and social issues as pawns/collateral damage. To quit the fandom feels like letting them win, but taking a break feels necessary at this point.

I like to listen to others who have different perspectives and value their opinions - but at the end of the day, I form my own and do my own research. And so far, I have seen absolutely nothing to change my opinion that Sebastian is a kind and well meaning man who sometimes doesn't think through every conceivable perspective before his does something - in other words, a flawed human. I'm not going to call for the end of a man's career and/or life, or withdraw my support of him, because 4 years ago he (accidentally, for all we know) liked a video of a man being called out for rapping the N-word and being told to censor himself, or because he smiled weird next to a statue while playing a Buddhist character. We can criticise him for his own actions, but these are willfully disingenuous interpretations specifically designed to harm not just him, but also POC fans who look up to him. I won't let myself be lied to, gaslighted, or dragged into a herd mentality. A disturbing number of people are not actually angry at him, but are simply scared of being harassed if they dare to question what they're being told or form their own opinions, so join the herd. The pursuit of the moral highground is addictive but futile, and you lose it as soon as you stoop to bullying, abuse, harassment, stalking and running dedicated, deranged hate accounts.

I'm not going to cancel him for a handful of bad jokes or mistakes made years ago that have been profusely apologised for and learnt from, either, and I'm not going to cancel him because of the years old actions of people he is associated with that he had nothing to do with. This isn't fair, proportional or helpful, at all. It's not activism, and it's not social justice - in fact, the constant malicious attempts to cancel him are only making it harder for him to see legitimate criticism or respond without setting a precedent that death threats will get his attention and a grovelling apology for things he didn't say and views he doesn't hold.

If your whole life was on tape and available to comb through with the worst intentions, and you weren't hiding behind anonymous accounts, I could construct equally terrible narratives from every bad joke, misspoken word, ill thought out comment, accidental like, dubious friend, mistake, genuinely hurtful moment or show of ignorance that you have ever made, but apologised for, grew from and forgot about instantly. You have that right: but you don't grant it to him, because he isn't truly a human being to you. So many of the blatantly and demonstrably false accusations I have been seeing would have been dispelled through the most basic level of fact checking and critical thinking, but through herd mentality and what I can only describe as moral bloodlust, they've gained serious, dangerous traction.

For someone who was raised in a deeply insular, conservative, traditional, orthodox environment, he has done a genuinely excellent job of freeing himself from that cycle of ignorance and using his platform in a positive way, as well as responding when he genuinely has misstepped. He will likely never be on the same level of educated/woke as a ~25 year old American who was literally raised knee deep in social justice twitter discourse, because he didn't have that privilege, but we are all on a journey and progress is not linear or with a clearly defined end.

The ironic thing is: the current state of the fandom is a direct result of how nice and willing to listen and learn Seb has been! The level to which he used to engage with fans and respond to criticism and feedback has created an expectation that he will ask how high whenever he is told to jump, and if he doesn't respond to every little thing, this means he doesn't care or hates us. His willingness to own up to mistakes, apologise and grow publically has created the strange idea that if he's not doing something publically, it's not happening, as if he only exists while we can see him, like social media peekaboo. His openness and willingness to act on criticism of those in his social and professional circles has led to the belief that we can demand he cut anyone we dislike out of his life immediately instead of helping and supporting them in making amends and learning, if only we can dig up some old dirt on them. It's entitled, parasocial nonsense. This is a total stranger who owes us nothing, is not actually accountable to us, does not have to ever respond to us or meet our demands, and has a complex and private inner life that we ultimately know nothing about.

I feel immensely sorry for the fans, especially POC, who have been wrongly led to believe that Seb hates or is discriminatory towards them on the basis of lies, hyperbole and some serious reaching. I feel deeply sorry for Seb's friends and family, who have been subject to an enormous amount of abuse and harassment (much of which has been racist, sexist, bodyshaming, xenophobic and cruel in nature - all in the name of social justice?) merely for being friends with him, and who recently had to see #RIPSebastianStan trending. Mostly, I feel immensely sorry for Sebastian, who has not been allowed the same basic rights everyone else in the world gets: the right to learn and grow, the right to forgiveness and freedom from harassment, and the right to be judged on things that *you* actually *did* rather than fictional narratives.

I cannot imagine the mental toll thousands of people calling for your death must take. I cannot imagine how it feels to have hate accounts dedicated to abusing you and critiquing your every move, and that of everyone you love. I cannot imagine the impact of obsessive doxxing, stalking and harassment. I cannot imagine all of this happening when you have been quite open about your mental health issues and serious struggles. There are truly only so many messages telling you to kill yourself that you can take, and I just hope he has people in his corner to remind him who he truly is and what he truly stands for.