#also ally kind of shaped me as a person

[grison-in-space]

Listening to Artificial Condition again, it strikes me how much Murderbot uses empathy reflexively as a survival skill. Look at this bit.

Upon meeting it, ART allows it on board and then announces that it knows that Murderbot is rogue. Then ART threatens to destroy it if it hacks ART's own systems. Murderbot is immediately terrified and shuts down all inputs, gives serious thought to spending the entire three month journey unconscious, and then considers the potential avenues of damage from ART's drones. ART, not realizing why Murderbot had suddenly gone silent, tells it to quit sulking, which understandably pisses off the still-terrified Murderbot. It dumps a bunch of memories of coercive treatment into ART's feed, and ART goes silent.

Then this happens:

Then it said, I’m sorry I frightened you. Okay, well. If you think I trusted that apology, you don’t know Murderbot. Most likely it was playing a game with me. I said, “I don’t want anything from you. I just want to ride to your next destination.” I’d explained that earlier, before it opened the hatch for me, but it was worth repeating. I felt it withdraw back behind its wall. I waited, and let my circulatory system purge the fear-generated chemicals. More time crawled by, and I started to get bored. Sitting here like this was too much like waiting in a cubicle after I’d been activated, waiting for the new clients to take delivery, for the next boring contract. If it was going to destroy me, at least I could get some media in before that happened. I started the new show again, but I was still too upset to enjoy it, so I stopped it and started rewatching an old episode of Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon. After three episodes, I was calmer and reluctantly beginning to see the transport’s perspective. A SecUnit could cause it a lot of internal damage if it wasn’t careful, and rogue SecUnits were not exactly known for lying low and avoiding trouble. I hadn’t hurt the last transport I had taken a ride on, but it didn’t know that. I didn’t understand why it had let me aboard, if it really didn’t want to hurt me. I wouldn’t have trusted me, if I was a transport. Maybe it was like me, and it had taken an opportunity because it was there, not because it knew what it wanted.

The thing about Murderbot's survival is that it clearly involves quite a bit of negotiating with other constructs and bots. That's how it talks its way onto cargo hauler bots in the first place. It uses empathy--envisioning the emotional and cognitive context of the individuals it encounters--to work out what different kinds of people want, so that it can offer them fair trades. It also uses empathy to consider what humans might be looking for, so it can practice blending in and hide.

Murderbot would never have survived so long if it wasn't capable of assessing the individual desires of the people--human, bot, and construct--around it. It thinks about ART's probable fears and motivations so that it can consider whether ART is inherently an ongoing threat or a potential ally.

When your survival depends on evading detection, you get really good at assessing perceptual biases so that you can shape yourself to fit into them. People talk about murderbot being radically empathetic as a choice it makes, or as a feature of its personality that makes it a good person. But I think murderbot would be the the first person to tell you that this empathy is part of its threat assessment suite, a skill that was developed out of necessity in order to allow you to survive.

It is also a trait that makes murderbot a good person, of course: it chooses very carefully to try to survive by doing as little harm as possible and by offering things, like media, that buy it access to things it needs. But it started as a survival skill. It's part of hypervigilance.

I think one of the strengths of this series is that so many of the things we love about SecUnit are traits developed for survival in an inherently threatening world. The shape of its mind and heart have been changed by the trauma of its origin--but they don't make murderbot less good for being altered, even if that skill was developed in a traumatic context.

I like that.

[suzukiblu]

do you have any kryptonians hcs that you think would be fun to see incorporated in more fics out there? like cultural stuff & biology

Ones I've seen before and really like:

Kryptonians purr

Kryptonians are built physically harder/denser/heavier than humans and don't have much "give" in their bodies

Kryptonians can tell that humans aren't the same thing as them, but humans can't QUITE tell that Kryptonians aren't the same thing as them; there is just the tiiiiiniest bit of uncanny valley there when they aren't deliberately trying to pass for humans, though

Kryptonians immediately just "recognize" other Kryptonians as being Kryptonian ( though maybe this one is at least IMPLIED in canon, though I've never been totally clear on that one--but like, a stronger version of it, if that makes sense?? )

Ones I've been slooowly forming myself for personal use:

Kryptonians have different voices and different hearing, in the sense that a Kryptonian has more tones/nuance in their voice and can HEAR more tones/nuance in a voice, and a lot of other species' voices sound flat or toneless to them because they lack those additional tones

"chiming" as a way for children to get their parent/caretaker's attention; basically a specific musical little sound that they make

Kryptonians typically only being physically expressive or emotive with close family members/friends, and vocal communication frequently being more emotive/descriptive for them than physical is

Kryptonians come in just sliiiightly brighter colors than humans do--eyes, hair, skin, etc

it takes a long time and extended time together to "learn" someone's heartbeat

food is generally served on specific complementing dishware, in terms of color/shape/specific meal

most clothes involve multiple layers, mainly a fitted undersuit that covers as much skin as possible, and then an overrobe or two that hide(s) the shape of their bodies as much as possible; specific cuts of drapery are a big thing in their fashion

wearing house crests is a Big Deal all the time and involves certain rites of passage/ages/etc

diet being fairly simple and minimalistic; they have rice but not really bread, eat more fish than red meat, and cuisine tends to concentrate on very subtle and natural flavors; there's not typically a lot of different things on their plate and they don’t generally use chemical preservatives in daily life

to a Kryptonian it'd be a LOT more normal that Kon and Match got made in test tubes than it'd be that Jon and Chris got made via natural births, and there would absolutely be a "is cloning worse or is just leaving your kid's DNA up to chance worse??" kind of argument going on there, culturally speaking

( also I could go on for a fucking MINUTE how Jon being a successful and healthy hybrid who is also apparently fertile enough to have at least one descendent alive and well in the thirty-first century is an insane and weird thing that makes very little sense that I DESPERATELY wish came up in more of the fics/canon that I see involving or mentioning him; seriously, Kryptonian DNA is so complicated that Bizarro syndrome is a regular thing in clones produced from it even by people who SPECIALIZE in cloning, but the kid who just got whatever random genes won the random race is the one who came out perfectly stable and healthy and has ZERO health issues/concerns? like, EVER?? hOW, canon. HOW. )

I will actually live and die on the hill of "Lex is more genetically compatible with Kryptonian DNA than Lois is" because fuck a) biological determinism and b) loving couples DO frequently have to deal with genetic incompatibility and that's just much more interesting to me narratively, and also I love the weird little not-quite-tragedy of that concept, both in how Lex refuses to be an ally to someone he actually is so naturally “compatible” with and in how Lois would have genetic compatibility issues with someone she loved so much and was loved BY so much

ONE DAY I will write the fic where Jon is actually NOT a healthy hybrid and has a ton of health issues from birth and can't even use any Kryptonian powers without having a freaking asthma attack or HEART attack, resigns himself to it just being an unavoidable Kryptonian-human hybrid thing and that he'll never live up to his dad or grow up to be "Superman"--and then one day an oblivious newborn bb clone Kon shows up out of the blue in perfect health with EXTRA superpowers and very publicly declaring that HE'S gonna be Superman someday, and everyone in the Kent family has to just deal with that and how they all feel about it. ONE DAY.

[slimi-kaito]

Ok, so I know Nimona's gender fluid and the whole shape shifting thing is a queer allegory.

BUT. (Don't worry)

I also think it’s an allegory of neurodivergency and disability! And I wanna talk about it:

To me, the « I wouldn't die die but I sure wouldn't be living » discussion feels very reminiscent of autistic stimming and masking, masking being explained here as the constant state of « that second before you sneeze ».

With that in mind, Nimona and Ballister's discussion in the train hits a lot closer to home for ND and disabled people in general because Ballister says « it would be easier for you » which isn’t actually true and shows how a lot of the world views disability. For people your disability is completely fine until they see it, they say they are disability allies but will shame you if you start stimming etc…

I think Nimona’s reaction to what Ballister said also shows that she is used to that kind of rethoric, she tries to lead him to the true answer « normal? » you’re normal for people if they can’t see your disability, « easier for who? » easier for him, easier for society because if they don’t see it they can ignore it. At the end of that conversation he doesn’t understand though and even think he is a hero for it « a lot of people aren’t as accepting as me » except what he does is actually the bare minimum, treating disabled people like actual people is the bare minimum whether you can see their disability or not!

At the end, Ballister understands that he was in the wrong and goes on to actually see Nimona as a person, as who she is « I see you ». And theoretically/utopically it’s the same for the kingdom’s people BUT it took the literal sacrifice of Nimona’s life for them to start treating her like a person which again should be the BARE MINIMUM. I think it is especially sad that it’s the way our society works as well, disabled people, queer people etc… shouldn’t have to earn the right to be treated as a person.

Thanks for reading all that, byeeee!

[archiveikemen]

『 Drowning in A Lustful Night 』 Story Event

Ellis Twilight

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. I do not own any of the original content. Please support CYBIRD by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

❥･• Warnings and FAQ

Liam: I heard that chocolates laced with aphrodisiac are popular these days.

One afternoon, Liam was talking about a rumour he heard.

Liam: People are advertising these chocolates as something that can let you know your lover’s truest desires.

Liam: Stuff like what they’re enduring because they love you, or things they haven't been able to say, you know?

Liam: It’s especially used during certain activities done in the bedroom at night… looks like it can enhance the intimacy between lovers.

…

Then one night, I had completely forgotten about that silly rumour I heard.

Ellis: Oh, right. Look at this, Kate.

It was a chilly night. Ellis took out a small box while we were having a casual conversation before bedtime and opened its lid for me to see the contents.

Kate: Are these… heart shaped… chocolates?

Kate: How cute. They look delicious too.

Ellis: These are the chocolates Liam was talking about.

Kate: The ones Liam talked about… no way!

Ellis: Yup, they seem to have been laced with an “aphrodisiac”. I got these from Allie at the tavern.

Ellis: I was told that it’ll be okay if eaten with a lover.

I stared in surprise at how casually Ellis said that.

Kate: So these are the rumoured…

Ellis: Do you want to try them?

Kate: What!?

Ellis: Because you’re a kind person, and… I feel that there are many things between us that can’t be said.

Kate: I don’t think so.

Ellis: … Really?

Ellis tilted his head and peered at me, while I tried hard to think of what I could say to him.

(Things that I can’t say to Ellis… hmm.)

Our relationship was as sweet and close as lovers, but it was also as faint as the twilight before evening turns to night.

Out of fear of our relationship being ruined, I definitely did hold myself back from saying some things, several times.

Ellis: I want to know… the emotions you usually wouldn't show.

Ellis: I’m sure that I can make you even happier if I know what they are.

Kate: That’s why you got the chocolates…?

Ellis: Yeah, that’s right.

(Liam mentioned something about “knowing your lover’s truest desires”.)

(Since these chocolates are laced with an aphrodisiac, eating them would make us feel like… that, right?)

(Ellis is suggesting we eat the chocolates, despite knowing what kind of effect they will have…)

An uneasy feeling slowly crept into my chest.

Kate: Ellis…

“Would you give this chocolate to just anyone if it would make them happy?”

(Will it put him in a tight spot if I ask him that?)

(Will Ellis keep his answer a secret from me if he knows it won’t make me happy…?)

Ellis was always kind and sweet when talking to me, but there was a possibility that he had many unspoken words.

My gaze was drawn to the aphrodisiac-laced chocolates that could reveal “unspeakable things”.

(... If Ellis eats them, maybe he’ll be honest and say those words to me without hesitation.)

I was curious about Ellis’ true feelings, and so I—

Ellis: … I won’t force you. If it’s something you don’t want to do, then I don't want to do it eit— oh.

I picked up a piece of the chocolate and ate half of it.

Kate: Mm… you too, Ellis.

Ellis: … Huh?

Kate: Please eat half too.

There was a hesitant look in Ellis’ eyes.

Kate: I want to know too… the things you “can’t say”.

Ellis: … Mm, got it.

Ellis ate the chocolate I held between my fingertips and savoured the sweetness.

The two of us anticipated what might happen while relishing the chocolate together. However…

Ellis: … It tastes like regular delicious chocolate.

Kate: … Raspberry flavour?

Ellis: Mm, I like this taste.

Kate: … Hehe. Could this be how it sets the mood between lovers?

I couldn’t help relaxing my shoulders and bursting into laughter.

(If I think about it calmly, I just did something quite daring…)

(I’m glad nothing happened.)

For a while, Ellis and I talked about the chocolate while sipping on hot milk.

We talked as we usually would — and it was time for us to return to our rooms after washing the mugs.

(... Hm?)

Kate: Ellis… I have a feeling that my face is very red right now.

Ellis: … I was about to say the same thing. Your face is flushing red, Kate. Are you running a fever?

The moment Ellis touched my forehead with his palm—

Kate: ahh…!?

A wave of pleasure ran through me like an electric current.

(W-What was that…?)

Ellis: Kate, could it be…

(Is this… the effect of the aphrodisiac?)

Kate: Are you also…?

I gently touched Ellis’ cheek.

Ellis: Nn…

Ellis’ shoulders shivered and a noise escaped his lips.

Ellis: … Apparently.

I felt his heated breath on my forehead.

It made me conscious of the heat starting to rise from the pit of my stomach.

(Oh no… the chocolates were the real deal.)

Ellis: … This is just right, let’s give it a shot.

Ellis: Tell me everything you want me to do, even things you normally wouldn’t say to me.

Ellis: I’ll fulfil them and make you happy.

Kate: ah…

Ellis gently ran his fingers down my neck, sending a sweet numbing sensation through my spine and making my legs nearly give way.

Kate: E-Ellis… wait, I…

Ellis: Mm, I’ll wait. I’ll wait till you forget all about your shame and be completely honest with me.

The dishevelled breathing of two people filled the room in the night.

…

Kate: Haa… aah…

Ellis: Haah… are you okay? Do you want some water?

Ellis carried me back to my bed when my legs became too weak to stand.

He sat on a chair a short distance away from the bed, looking after me.

(My body feels hot… the sheets rubbing against my skin is making me feel weird…)

Ellis: Here, have some water. … Fufu… the effect of the chocolate is very strong.

(Ellis is likely feeling the same way too…)

We were under the effect of the same drug and my body felt like it was on fire, yet all Ellis cared about was my wellbeing.

Ellis: … Is there something you want to say?

Ellis: You can say it, Kate. … I want to hear you express your feelings.

Kate: Ellis… if you’d do anything to make someone happy, regardless of who they are…

Kate: Would you eat this chocolate with them…? Even if it's someone you don't want to eat it with?

Ellis: …

Ellis: Is that what you couldn't say to me? You ate the chocolate because you wanted to ask me that?

Ellis: … Why do you want to know that?

Kate: Because…

(I want you to treasure yourself.)

(I don’t want you to do things that'll make you unhappy.)

(Also… maybe I…)

(Maybe I want to hear you say that you are the chocolate “because it’s me”...?)

Realising my feelings made me so embarrassed, my ears were burning.

Ellis: Fufu, you went silent… you can't tell me although you ate chocolate laced with aphrodisiac?

Ellis: I… I’ll say it. I’ll tell you what you wanted to hear so badly that you had to resort to this.

Ellis: If it’ll make someone happy, I’d eat the chocolate.

His response caused a sharp pain in my heart, but the pain was soon soothed by a gentle voice.

Ellis: But I won’t eat it with anyone else.

Ellis: This is what’s been bothering you… right?

Ellis even saw through the reason why I could outright tell him about it, and smiled at me with blushing cheeks.

Kate: Why… why would you go so far just to make me happy?

Ellis: That's because…

The faint smile on Ellis’ face faded away like the last bit of light from the setting sun disappearing in the horizon.

Ellis: Because I like you… I guess.

Ellis: My greatest joy is in making time stop for the person I love when I make them the happiest they’ve ever been.

His voice was calm, gentle, and… gloomy.

(Do you really like me?)

(What was that about stopping time? Why does it make you happy?)

I bit down the urge to fire those questions at him.

(I’m still afraid of knowing the answers.)

(... The claim that those chocolates could let you “know their truest desires” is a big awful lie.)

The aphrodisiac did nothing to make me ask the questions I truly wanted answers to, all it did was fuel the carnal desires intensifying inside of me.

Ellis: Kate, you look like you're having a hard time. … Can I touch you?

Kate: Haa… y-yes…

I shook my head, and Ellis came over to sit on the bed.

Ellis: I’ll make you feel more comfortable. It might be embarrassing if I do it from the front, so…

Ellis had me sit in front of him and lean against him as he hugged me from behind.

Ellis: Haa… okay, I’m going to touch you. … Fufufu, I feel dizzy.

Ellis: Where do you want to be touched now? Your chest? Or… lower?

Kate: Anywhere… you want to touch…

Ellis: … Haah.. you’re sneaky.

Ellis: … Then I’ll touch you here.

Kate: Mmm, aah…

He kissed me on the ear, and my body felt a sweet numbing sensation.

Kate: Is this… what you like…?

Ellis: Nn… I like watching you feel good…

Kate: Nnn…. hnngh.. aah…

I could feel my underwear getting wet from the light kisses he planted on my ears and neck.

He played with the peaks of my breasts through my loosened blouse and corset, but the tingle I felt in the pit of my stomach told me I desired a very specific kind of stimulation.

Kate: Ah… Ellis…

I rubbed my thighs together and heard a shameful wet sound that only heightened my embarrassment.

Ellis: So I have to touch you here… to make you feel less painful?

Ellis slid his hand down my stomach, to my belly button, and lower.

My thighs that were squeezed shut opened up on their own in response to the hand slowly creeping under my skirt.

Kate: Aahh…

Ellis: Haa… it's impressive you put up with this for so long… it must've been painful.

He slipped his hand under my soaked underwear and stroked the wet spot between my legs, as though he were rewarding me for being “good”.

Kate: Aaah… n-no…

After only a few strokes, my body still under the effect of the aphrodisiac easily went into climax.

My head went numb, I felt momentarily relieved of the uncomfortable throbbing feeling that plagued my body.

Kate: Hngg… haaa…

Ellis: Haa… let me see your face, Kate.

Kate: Nn…

Ellis: … Fufu, you look very happy. … Maybe it'll be even better if I can give you more pleasure.

(More…)

His words seemed to instantly reignite the fire deep inside me.

Ellis’ fingers went deeper into my now incredibly needy core.

Ellis: Do you like it when I touch you here?

(Does Ellis really want to touch me? Or is he only doing this because I want to be touched?)

I was afraid to ask, but my heart was dying to know.

Kate: I want you to do what you want… Ellis.

Ellis: What I want…

Ellis: … What should I do?

I felt Ellis’ hot breath behind my ears.

Ellis: I’m starting to get confused… whether this is what you want or what I want… I don't know…

Ellis: That’s… important.

He hesitatingly paused his fingers over my wet nether region.

Kate: Ahh.. ah…

(I'm too needy right now… it’s painful.)

(But… Ellis is in even more pain.)

Ellis: Hey, Kate… say that you want it.

Kate: …

Ellis: … You want it.

The desperation in Ellis’ voice as he tried to get me to beg him made my chest tighten.

(I have a feeling that Ellis is trying to tell me that he wants to be wanted… and he needs a reason to touch me.)

(Is the aphrodisiac making me go crazy?)

Kate: I… I want it…

Ellis: …

Kate: Ah.. ahhh…

He pushed his fingers into me with a lewd wet sound.

A few pumps of his fingers inside me was enough to make my back arch.

The back of my head rubbed against Ellis’ chest, and he kissed me on the forehead.

Kate: Nn… ah…

Ellis: Haa… you're so cute, Kate.

Ellis: Does it feel good? It’s still not enough…

I felt the heat of something warm from Ellis pressing against my behind when he hugged me tight, my insides reflexively tightened around his fingers.

(If Ellis really wants it…)

(If the reason is because I’m special to him…)

For a moment, I almost thought that it would be alright for me to surrender my body to him.

Perhaps, at that moment, I was really happy.

(Don’t think about that now… don’t say it…)

(We don’t know if it’s only because of the aphrodisiac.)

Kate: Ellis… ah, aah… wait, too much… hngg

Ellis: Haah… you’re so lovely, Kate… I want to make you feel even better…

We didn’t understand each other's real desires, I only drowned in the sweet moment of pleasure Ellis gave me—.

…

Ellis: Oh, good morning, Kate.

When I awkwardly walked into the dining room the next morning, Ellis greeted me as usual.

Kate: G- Good… good morning, Ellis.

Ellis: I saw that the bakery had a new item this morning and it looked delicious, so I bought it. Let’s eat it together.

Kate: Okay… wow, it really is delicious.

He sat down next to me and whispered into my ear.

Ellis: I couldn’t ask you yesterday because you fell asleep, but…

Ellis: When we touched each other like last night… how happy were you…?

Kate: …!

There was that gloomy light flickering behind Ellis’ eyes again.

Kate: … When I eat new bread with you… it makes me happy.

Ellis: …

Ellis: Fufu, I see.

Ellis: In that case, I’ll make you happier.

His calm and carefree smile hid that gloomy look away.

(If only… we could bare our hearts to each other without fear someday…)

(Will there come a day when I can finally say that I’m the happiest I've ever been?)

[rainingoliver]

okay i know there is a lot of people who did not favor double life, but for me i can't stop thinking about it and i'm just gonna share some of my ideas from it:

the whole bigb and grian 'cheating' thing was just like never talked about?? like no one else knew except for their soulmates and scott (who also didn't really care?) and it wasn't a big deal. which in all honesty is kind of crazy to me because it really shaped grian and bigb's characters for that season

two: i have discovered a lore logical reason as to why all the soul mate pairs ended up together. tango and jimmy- tango always wanted to win or at least make it farther than he ever had and being paired up with jimmy meant that he would never accomplish that. ren and bigb- fairy fort, need i say more? grian and scar- obviously EVERYTHING that happened between them in the previous seasons. joel and etho- that one moment in last life between bdubs and joel with how they were arguing about etho. bdubs and impulse- two traitors together as well as the whole clock betrayal. martyn and cleo- their personalities clashed (a bit too much but still). scott and pearl- again last life and everything that happened between them.

i think the reason that etho wasn't thrilled about joel being his soulmate was because he though that as soon as joel got bored of him or found something else to do, he would leave to be alone like he did every previous season. he didn't expect joel to be actually loyal based on what he had saw in previous seasons. but with joel building the ship for them and the etho shirt really solidified the fact that joel just wanted a companion that he could rely on and etho being soul bound to him meant he didn't have to worry about him leaving.

ren's loyalty to whoever he is allied with it crazy. even after bigb had admitted to being secret soulmates with grian and didn't seem remorseful at all, ren still stayed allies with him. he forgave him so easily without a second thought.

[vickyvicarious]

Hello! I was wondering what you make of Seward's phrase "is it possible that love is all subjective or all objective?" I've seen people allude to different meanings on the phrase but I can't quite figure out what it means

I wanted to wait until after 11 October to answer this ask, just so I didn't have to spoiler for the context of my reply. Which is that... my instinct is to oppose Jonathan and Seward's loves for this one. Specifically, in their reactions to the women they love becoming vampires. (I'm choosing Jack specifically to talk about because we get in his head more than we do for the other suitors, though by actions one could argue they fall more on the same side as he does.)

Firstly, let's take a brief moment to talk about the specific words used. Subjective generally means dictated by personal taste, and objective would be based on fact or truth. So, a love that is all one or the other could be very different depending on what the person you love is like. For example, an objective love would appreciate someone's virtues, while a subjective one might find things to love even in their flaws. Or on a larger scale, and much more relevant to how the phrase is used in the book... what would happen when the person you love is becoming a vampire, a creature that is factually and objectively evil and wrong? How would you react, how would you feel?

It depends on your type of love.

Jonathan's love is all subjective. Even though he absolutely hates and despises vampires, once he knows Mina is at risk of becoming one he resolves to join her if need be. He sees her rejected by God when the communion wafer burns her forehead, and he says 'actually no, I think the holiest kind of love is the one that would lead me to join her in her unholy state'. Even when Mina outright appeals to him to kill her if she is too far gone - an appeal to his objective understanding, for him to express his love in a way that confronts the truth of what she would become - Jonathan remains silent and in doing so refuses to make that promise. It's implied that he would be willing to fight the other men in order to protect her, even though they are his allies and friends. His beliefs warp around the shape of his love. He will destroy himself and others for the sake of his love, even if he knows through painful experience how objectively evil vampires are.

Jack's love meanwhile is all objective. Even though he didn't fully understand what a vampire was, he began to lose his love for Lucy as soon as he saw her acting in that way. In fact every time she was acting out of character to be more vampiric before her death, he seemed to notice and be a little put off by it, even though he didn't really seem to realize so much at the time. He outright says this quote when he is watching vampire!Lucy and realizing that he doesn't feel as horrible about mutilating the body of the woman he loved as he would have expected. When he learns Lucy has become a monster, he begins to feel repulsed by her - a process completed when he sees her up close and outright says his love for her is gone: "At that moment the remnant of my love passed into hate and loathing; had she then to be killed, I could have done it with savage delight." His determination to destroy the Thing she now is completely separates her in his mind from her living self. His love gives way to the objective facts. He will help to kill her, and gladly, because what she has become disgusts him... because what she has become is objectively evil.

Obviously, their experiences are different, and perhaps it's not quite such a true binary. Mina's gradual transformation, combined with Jonathan's pre-existing knowledge, is quite different from Jack's abrupt introduction to Lucy's vastly changed self and to the idea of the supernatural at all. But for the purposes of examining this quote, I think it works quite well to set them up at opposite ends of that scale.

.

It's also kind of curious because it calls back to another great line of Seward's: "(Mem., under what circumstances would I not avoid the pit of hell?)" The context of that line is Seward struggling to resist his dark impulses with regards to his treatment of Renfield. And he says this after having noticed himself actively doing something he says he'd normally avoid like the pit of hell, so that means he was approaching it until he caught himself. This is a struggle he repeatedly faces with Renfield, finding himself longing for a cause that he would consider it worthwhile abandoning his morals for, so that he could just give in to these urges.

But while Jack Seward is the person most drawn to the darkness, as we get introduced to the vampires are representatives of the ultimate darkness he backs firmly away. It's only in isolation that he feels so attracted to amoral experimentation; when together with his friends he pulls himself back to be more firmly opposed. His treatment of Renfield is a mess the entire time, don't get me wrong. He never really does right by him. But he doesn't seem to feel that same urge to push him in such a cruel way merely for his own interest/satisfaction. It becomes in the service of a greater goal, the objectively good idea of fighting Dracula. (Again, not saying his methods are good, but his motivation shifts.) He's always been conscious of an idea of what is right to do and he actively tries to follow that, with much greater success when not left to his own devices.

Meanwhile Jonathan has never felt such an intense draw to the darkness. He survived months alone surrounded by evil influences, and it only increased his determination to remain himself/human. He hates the vampires and he feels no true allure to the idea of being like them (outside the allure everyone feels when being hypnotized by them, etc.). He wanted nothing more than a normal happy life, he never longed for a cause that would be worth throwing his morals away. And yet, when Mina begins to turn we see Jonathan decide that this is the circumstance under which he will not avoid the pit of hell. This is the cause he can dedicate himself to as fully as any madman. Jonathan never felt the need to philosophize about trying to avoid such things before he was exposed to them by others, because he has no inherent urge to seek them out. But he also lacks that restrictive hold when a reason does come along.

(To visualize: if there's a pit, then Jack is the person who keeps wandering closer, desperately wanting to lean over the edge and see what's inside. Knowing this about himself, he's tied a rope around his waist to ensure he doesn't slip too far. Jonathan never even went near until he abruptly decides to sprint up and swan-dive straight into it when he thinks Mina's fallen in.)

[whinlatter]

sirius and ginny: a meta (part 1)

“Excuse me, but I care what happens to Sirius as much as you do!” said Ginny, her jaw set so that her resemblance to Fred and George was suddenly striking.’

are you a very brave, very reckless, very hot self-destructive rebel with a treacherous sibling and a flair for christmas decoration, harbouring complex feelings about your mother, close ties to crookshanks the cat and spend your days plagued by the memory of your worst mistakes and dark past? do you find yourself constantly being begged to stay in a state of protective confinement to save your life by a young man with a lightning scar, bad hair and crippling abandonment issues? if so, congratulations! you might be one of harry potter's chosen family members, sirius black and ginevra molly weasley! 

basically - i want to talk about sirius and ginny. these are two characters who don’t share a lot of scenes in canon but who, i think, have some clear (if overlooked) parallels: stubborn, fiercely protective of harry, self-sacrificing, admired, principled, haunted (in different ways) by traumatic pasts and betrayals, with complicated relationships with their families and entirely uncomplicated devoted relationships with someone else’s cat. their narrative arcs are successive, with ginny ascending in significance in the series during sirius’ period of decline and ultimate death. and ultimately, they’re also the two people who become, over the course of the canon series, family to a protagonist desperately seeking to build one. sirius and ginny are the two people harry in canon most worries about, wants to protect, and thinks of as someone who embodies the promise of family and home.

sirius and ginny aren’t mirror images of each other. ofc, ginny also has parallels with the only other family members harry claims in the series, lily and james (i mean, especially james - she’s literally a cocky funny flirtatious chaser with a years-long debilitating mega crush who can also catch a snitch like a champ. come on now). it’s also clear in canon that sirius means more to ginny as a hero/role model/ally against her mother than ginny ever means to sirius. nevertheless, the text puts in work to let the reader know we should think about these characters together as somehow aligned. from the beginning of ootp, there are clues and signals in the text that foreshadow ginny’s emergence as someone important to harry, and that subtly let the reader know that the baton of being harry’s ‘person’ is about to be passed from sirius to ginny, two kindred spirits, after sirius’ death. so that's what this meta is about! (consider this my 700th attempt to show that, as the popular fandom complaint/all of reddit still insist, ginny as a character, and especially the harry/ginny romance, did not ‘come out of nowhere’.)

the following meta is part one of two (and yet it's still too long! sorry about it). o in this part, i look at the period from the end of goblet of fire thru the start of half blood prince, exploring how the text sets up the sirius and ginny parallels as a way of foreshadowing ginny’s emergence as harry’s main love interest and place as a family substitute. the second part (tbc) will be what the memory of sirius does for harry’s view of his relationship with ginny, and the kind of positive - and negative - ways this shapes harry’s ideas about love and what family do for each other. i wrote this meta as a way of thinking through some characterisation choices for my current WIP, beasts. if you're following along with that fic, this meta can be seen as a companion piece especially to my thinking behind chapters ten and eleven, so hope proves helpful for some of my thinking behind the sirius and ginny friendship that appears in that project. it's also dedicated to @ashesandhackles, queen of metas, who has reminded me to post this meta precisely 9 million times because she is a long-suffering saint.

ok - sirius and ginny. let’s goooooo!

sirius and ginny before ootp

before OotP, ginny is absent from any plot connected to sirius. ginny doesn’t know the truth about sirius’ innocence, nor does she know that harry, her brother and her friend are in regular contact with sirius and that harry now as a surrogate father/big brother figure to confide in and seek comfort in.  in fact, in one of ginny’s few appearances in GoF, the narration is unusually insistent that the reader knows how little ginny knows about sirius:

“And have you heard from — ?” Ron began, but at a look from Hermione he fell silent. Harry knew Ron had been about to ask about Sirius. Ron and Hermione had been so deeply involved in helping Sirius escape from the Ministry of Magic that they were almost as concerned about Harry’s godfather as he was. However, discussing him in front of Ginny was a bad idea. Nobody but themselves and Professor Dumbledore knew about how Sirius had escaped, or believed in his innocence. “I think they’ve stopped arguing,” said Hermione, to cover the awkward moment, because Ginny was looking curiously from Ron to Harry. “Shall we go down and help your mum with dinner?” 

the only other tiny crumb of sirius and ginny we get is the news that the owl sirius bought in PoA and gifted to ron as a replacement pet for scabbers has been embraced and named by ginny. sirius gifting a tiny little spitfire of an owl that annoys ron? it's giving foreshadowing, your honour.

the reader, though, knows who sirius is to harry by GoF. throughout this book, for the first time in the series, harry has a person he can claim as something like a family: someone to worry about, someone who cares about him,who can advise, guide and mentor him, as well as offer him support and consolation in difficult times (‘someone like a parent…’) although sirius has not been able to offer harry a stable alternative home to the dursleys due to his status as a wanted man, he’s still filling a role that previously had been vacant in the series: he’s harry’s person, the surrogate parent chosen for him by james and lily. he’s close by, either by the floo or eventually living (at great personal cost) as padfoot in hogsmeade, and he’s present emotionally for harry in ways that prove incredibly meaningful to his young godson. in times of great of distress, sirius is there for harry to meet emotional needs that ron and hermione (understandably, no shade to them) can’t always meet. the floo scene early on in GoF, during harry’s row with ron, is a particularly good example of this:

“Never mind me, how are you?” said Sirius seriously. “I’m —”  For a second, Harry tried to say “fine” — but he couldn’t do it. …Before he could stop himself, he was talking more than he’d talked in days — about how no one believed he hadn’t entered the tournament of his own free will, how Rita Skeeter had lied about him in the Daily Prophet, how he couldn’t walk down a corridor without being sneered at — and about Ron, Ron not believing him, Ron’s jealousy . . . Sirius looked at him, eyes full of concern… He had let Harry talk himself into silence without interruption’.

harry derives enormous comfort from sirius’ presence in his life during GoF. he writes to sirius, he repeatedly turns to him for advice, he worries for him more than he does any other person. sirius fulfils harry’s desire to be kept abreast of important information about voldemort and death eaters, doesn’t sugarcoat news for harry, and makes him feel important, cared for and understood. (harry even shows off to sirius telling him about how much of a slay the first task was. ugh). by the time of the third task, sirius is sending harry daily owls, a constant flow of reassurance and concern (‘He reminded Harry in every letter that whatever might be going on outside the walls of Hogwarts was not Harry’s responsibility, nor was it within his power to influence it. If Voldemort is really getting stronger again, he wrote, my priority is to ensure your safety.’) when harry returns from the graveyard at the novel’s end, it’s sirius who races to his side to advocate for him and offer him both words of comfort and physical affection as he processes the traumatic series of events that constitute the climax of the book’s plot. (my personal favourite part is where harry says ‘wormtail cut me with a knife’ and the text says sirius made a ‘vehement exclamation’, which i can only assume is children’s book speak for ‘fucking hell’.) harry goes to bed: sirius stays with him, a literal guard dog as he recuperates. after the most traumatic events of the series to date, the reader is at least consoled that harry potter has a person now, someone he loves for him to worry about and to worry for him, who catches him on the other side of traumatic events and makes them that bit much more bearable.

sirius and ginny during ootp

with sirius' role in harry's life established in GoF, OotP begins with harry, cooped up and restless at privet drive, angry with ron, hermione, sirius, and dumbledore for abandoning him at privet drive and keeping him in the dark. harry arrives at grimmauld place to find an anxious ron and hermione, with whom harry is angry and frustrated for having left him out of their summer hangs and having neglected him, by his assessment, in surrey. it’s the most conflict we’ve seen in the trio in terms of harry vs ron and hermione, and sets up one of the important themes of the book, which is harry no longer being solely emotionally fulfilled by the people he is closest to, including his two surrogate parents best mates but also his godfather. when he encounters sirius for the first time after the order meeting, he finds him surly, bitter, and depressed, furious that he is confined to his childhood home, and (understandably) much less able or willing to offer harry much in the way of comfort, apology or cheering words (‘Harry, who had expected a better welcome, noted how hard and bitter Sirius’s voice sounded.’) in this sense, the book opens with harry disappointed and/or more distant from all the people on whom he most depends and is usually closest to, and that there therefore is already an absence of a certain kind of emotional support in harry’s life that the plot demands be filled.

fresh off the back of harry’s row with ron and hermione is ginny’s reintroduction to the reader. after years of being so shy in harry’s presence she was often nearly mute, the reader finds that ginny is not only now speaking, but that her presence turns out to be remarkably refreshing. from her opening scene where ginny enters harry’s bedroom at grimmauld place, the reader discovers the new ginny is confident, up to no good, in cahoots with her most troublemaking brothers trying to intercept the order meeting, enterprising in her mischief (and very happy to lie to her mother’s face about it). she’s thoroughly unfazed by harry’s great display of rage that has just startled and upset ron and hermione. (side note: in both ootp and hbp, ginny’s opening scene is her entering harry’s bedroom, which is the kind of foreshadowing i personally find delicious). everyone else is behaving pretty much as they have been up to this point, but it’s ginny who is showcasing behaviours new to the reader, a signal that she might be about to play a different role in the series than she has done up to this point.

cut to the dinner scene. sirius and ginny are in the room together for the first time. sirius is moody: though he’s still able to laugh, enjoying displays of mischief and humour (the twins and the knife), he’s more bitter than harry and the reader have seen him since PoA. it’s an important scene for lots of reasons (not least the sirius v molly beef), but it’s also one where sirius and ginny are repeatedly drawn into mental association in the reader’s mind. it’s also a great scene because the behaviour of crookshanks the cat literally serves to foreshadow the behaviour of harry james potter in ways that are frankly extremely fun.

so! the sirius and ginny hints start small. from the start of the scene, ginny is amused by mundungus the crook (a man, we will learn, so disdained by her mother):

“Some’n say m’ name?” Mundungus mumbled sleepily. “I ’gree with Sirius. . . .” He raised a very grubby hand in the air as though voting, his droopy, bloodshot eyes unfocused. Ginny giggled. “The meeting’s over, Dung,” said Sirius, as they all sat down around him at the table. “Harry’s arrived.” 

sirius and harry, sat at the end of the table, are both greeted by crookshanks, sirius’ old accomplice from PoA:

'​​Harry felt something brush against his knees and started, but it was only Crookshanks, Hermione’s bandy-legged ginger cat, who wound himself once around Harry’s legs, purring, then jumped onto Sirius’s lap and curled up. Sirius scratched him absentmindedly behind the ears as he turned, still grim-faced, to Harry…

when fred and george’s levitation goes awry, flinging a knife at sirius (now that’s how you foreshadow a death), crookshanks bolts: 

‘Harry and Sirius were both laughing… Crookshanks had given an angry hiss and shot off under the dresser, from whence his large yellow eyes glowed in the darkness…’

during the meal, ginny’s with hermione, having a laugh with tonks, a character harry has just met but whom he has already decided to both admire and like. after the meal, when harry’s cheered up a bit and had his crumble (the man loves dessert), crookshanks finally emerges from his hiding place, having been coaxed out from his sulk by - you guessed it - one g. m. weasley:

‘…Ginny, who had lured Crookshanks out from under the dresser, was sitting cross-legged on the floor, rolling butterbeer corks for him to chase.’

a grouchy character, initially drawn to sirius, but prone to lashing out and locking himself away, only to be lured back out into comfort and safety by ginny weasley? wow………. radical

after dinner, the argument between sirius and molly kicks off. sirius is arguing hard for harry’s right to know, though he makes no attempt to advocate for any of the other weasleys or for hermione. ginny’s noticeably singled out in her reaction to this scene, the text highlighting that she is particularly struck by this conflict as if it is of particular personal resonance, including someone standing up to her famously overprotective mother for once:

‘Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George’s heads turned from Sirius to Mrs. Weasley as though following a tennis rally. Ginny was kneeling amid a pile of abandoned butterbeer corks, watching the conversation with her mouth slightly open. Lupin’s eyes were fixed on Sirius.’

of course, molly loses the argument: harry gets to stay for juicy order deets (‘Sirius was right, he was not a child.’) after the row, ginny is the only person forbidden from hearing information about the order’s activities. suddenly, the roles are switched: it’s ginny who’s now furious and bitter to be kept out of the action:

‘“Fine!” shouted Mrs. Weasley. “Fine! Ginny — BED!”  Ginny did not go quietly. They could hear her raging and storming at her mother all the way up the stairs, and when she reached the hall Mrs. Black’s earsplitting shrieks were added to the din. Lupin hurried off to the portrait to restore calm. It was only after he had returned, closing the kitchen door behind him and taking his seat at the table again, that Sirius spoke. “Okay, Harry . . . what do you want to know?”’ 

it’s not just the parallels of confinement between harry, sirius and ginny that are so revealing, it’s also the dual maternal conflicts. ginny loud raging at her own mother sets off the howling relic of sirius’, serving to underline two characters who continue to grapple with maternal relationships that are complex and full of conflict, though by no means solely negative (sirius i see you sleeping in your mother’s bedroom babe. don’t think i think your relationship with walburga is just one of straight hate ok). when ginny later gets knocked down the stairs by fred and george, there’s more direct mrs weasley/walburga parallels, with the two of them literally shouting over each other during the ordeal lol. as such, the readers see that the conflicts being set up for sirius’ character in this book - frustration at confinement, conflict with a mother figure, drawn to more reckless and arguably irresponsible characters (mundungus, the twins) and courses of action - are also conflicts subtly playing out with the new ginny we’re meeting, too.

as the rest of the summer at grimmauld wears on, there are more examples of sirius and ginny foreshadowing. the scenes where the two characters interact serve to place ginny and sirius firmly in the same camp of people harry admires and has fun with, the troublemakers and the rebels. over the prefects issue, ginny not only is sat chatting with the troublemaking adults harry likes most, but actively draws sirius into conversation on the issue, likely knowing the answer will comfort harry, but also showing a curiosity and interest in sirius that suggests she admires him:

“I was never a prefect myself,” said Tonks brightly from behind Harry as everybody moved toward the table to help themselves to food. Her hair was tomato-red and waist length today; she looked like Ginny’s older sister. “My Head of House said I lacked certain necessary qualities.”  “Like what?” said Ginny, who was choosing a baked potato. “Like the ability to behave myself,” said Tonks. Ginny laughed; Hermione looked as though she did not know whether to smile or not and compromised by taking an extra large gulp of butterbeer and choking on it.  “What about you, Sirius?” Ginny asked, thumping Hermione on the back. Sirius, who was right beside Harry, let out his usual barklike laugh…’

ginny’s choice to try and draw sirius into the conversation bears fruit: sirius confirms james was never a prefect, and harry’s sour mood is suddenly lifted. (‘All at once the party seemed much more enjoyable; he loaded up his plate, feeling unusually fond of everyone in the room.’) ginny is thus beginning to provide harry with subtle comfort and reassurance, especially as sirius, struggling with his own confinement,  is taking a less active role in trying to cheer harry up. what i also like is that we have evidence of how ginny views sirius - she’s curious about him and his past, she clearly thinks he and the other new rebellious adults are cool as shit, and she’s drawn increasingly away from her mother’s cautious overprotective approach towards these resistance fighters who prioritise the fight over safety. (it is noticeable to me that ginny does not become a prefect in HBP, suggesting sirius' example proved instructive).

we see more small parallels between sirius and ginny during the cleaning scenes. the battle against grimmauld place is an important symbol of one of the important themes of OotP as a book: a battle over past traumas and their persistent and unwieldy symptoms that are seemingly never-ending. while it’s harry’s experiences that, of course, take centre stage, sirius’, too, loom omnipresent throughout the text. it’s significant, then, that ginny’s own past gets brought up for the first time in three books here, albeit briefly: 

'They found an unpleasant-looking silver instrument, something like a many-legged pair of tweezers, which scuttled up Harry’s arm like a spider when he picked it up, and attempted to puncture his skin; Sirius seized it and smashed it with a heavy book entitled Nature’s Nobility: A Wizarding Genealogy. There was a musical box that emitted a faintly sinister, tinkling tune when wound, and they all found themselves becoming curiously weak and sleepy until Ginny had the sense to slam the lid shut…'

in this moment, we see sirius and ginny singled in the larger group as quick-thinking, shrewd characters, with a good instincts and common sense (if a bit of a tendency to get scrappy). their respective dark pasts are subtly alluded to. sirius whacks a spider trying to attack harry with a book that might as well be entitled my big book of family trauma. ginny, meanwhile, steps in when everybody present starts to be enchanted by a mysterious object luring them into danger by whacking it shut (gee i wonder why!) given this is the book that will see ginny mention the events of CoS for the first time in errrrr three years, it’s significant that the text is careful to draw ginny into this broader theme that unites sirius and harry, the constant reminders of traumatic pasts at every turn. we also see here the revelation that regulus black was a death eater. coming after news of percy weasley’s betrayal, sirius’ bitter dismissal of his younger brother deliberately mirrors ginny and the other weasleys’ attitude towards percy, this sense of pureblood families split over wizarding politics, often fatally. 

while harry fears his expulsion from hogwarts prior his hearing, he continues to fantasise about coming to live with sirius at grimmauld, and about being with a family member and finding an alternative home to hogwarts. sirius, as hermione astutely observes, tries to manage harry’s expectations and not to get his own hopes up: still, when harry is exonerated, sirius is visibly depressed, showing the beginnings of an emotional dependency on harry that harry feels great guilt over.when leaving grimmauld for the start of the school year, sirius, as padfoot, accompanies harry to king’s cross: unlike in GoF, though, he is spotted, and harry begins to worry much more actively about sirius’ vulnerability to capture, about his recklessness and about his judgement. concerned for sirius, and absent ron and hermione, who are in the prefects carriage, the person who stays with harry and offers him company is ginny. she sacrifices her own train journey (presumably with her own boyfriend) to find a carriage with harry and make sure he’s not lonely, bringing him to neville and luna and sorting him out after his embarassing cho run-in. it’s not a coincidence that once again we see ginny here taking care of harry crookshanks:

'“Where’s Crookshanks?” “Ginny’s got him,” said Harry. “There she is. . . .”  Ginny had just emerged from the crowd, clutching a squirming Crookshanks. “Thanks,” said Hermione, relieving Ginny of the cat. “Come on, let’s get a carriage together before they all fill up. . . '

once harry’s back at school, having left sirius behind to languish miserably in london, we see he's more isolated and alone than ever. he’s tormented by umbridge, endlessly (though often unfairly) frustrated with ron and hermione, ghosted by dumbledore, yet absent the more stable, reassuring sirius he came to know in GoF, unable to write candidly to him and faced with a much less well sirius in the opportunities they do have to speak face-to-face. as sirius’ mental health declines as he is shut up at grimmauld, his ability to support harry and comfort him starts to falter, and he becomes a much more uneven source of advice and support, particularly during his car crash floo appearance, where he’s much ruder than he has previously been (cutting off, ignoring their pleas for him to be more cautious, the infamous ‘the risk would have made it fun for james’ moment). this new sirius, clearly struggling, is much more happy to do up guilt trip to his godson than we have seen him to up this point (‘I’ll write to tell you a time I can make it back into the fire, then, shall I? If you can stand to risk it?’ - you petty little shit, padfoot). all of this serves to increase harry’s anxiety about sirius’ wellbeing and reinforce harry’s sense of emotional isolation. even sirius’ encouragement on the DA is, as hermione points out, partly bound up in more selfish motivations (‘I think he’s really frustrated at how little he can do where he is… so I think he’s keen to kind of… egg us on.’)

ginny’s largely absent in this section of the novel. in the brief moments she does appear, it’s to inject humour (eg. her impressions at the DA meeting) and in little reminders that she now has a boyfriend, no longer harbours romantic feelings for harry, making sure the reader continues to hold her mentally apart from harry. harry, meanwhile, misguidedly tries to seek out a relationship with cho chang, who is showing clear signs of her own emotional distress and inability to meet harry’s emotional needs given her own grief. still, among this, there’s still room for some small subtle sirius/ginny parallels. once the DA plot picks up, we have another little sign that ginny weasley and sirius black think somewhat alike:

“Yeah, the D.A.’s good,” said Ginny. “Only let’s make it stand for Dumbledore’s Army because that’s the Ministry’s worst fear, isn’t it?” 

“Trained in combat?” repeated Harry incredulously. “What does he think we’re doing here, forming some sort of wizard army? “That’s exactly what he thinks you’re doing,” said Sirius, “or rather, that’s exactly what he’s afraid Dumbledore’s doing — forming his own private army, with which he will be able to take on the Ministry of Magic.” 

with harry's isolation and need for more emotional support established in this first term, christmas at grimmauld offers more opportunity to subtly develop the sirius and ginny parallels, as well as to highlight ginny’s ability to fill the gaps left by sirius’ decline. after the attack on arthur weasley, the group arrive back at grimmauld:

‘Sirius was hurrying toward them all, looking anxious. He was unshaven and still in his day clothes; there was also a slightly Mundungus-like whiff of stale drink about him. “What’s going on?” he said, stretching out a hand to help Ginny up. “Phineas Nigellus said Arthur’s been badly injured —” 

could this be sirius literally lifting ginny up into plot significance? why yes it could

ofc the weasleys then argue with sirius about their right to go see their father. despite his own frustrations at being trapped at grimmauld, sirius proves the voice of reason and rational decision making against both ginny and the twins’ hotheadedness (ginny asks to borrow cloaks to go to the hospital: sirius: ‘Hang on, you can’t go tearing off to St. Mungo’s!’) crucially, though, when sirius points out that there are bigger things at stake - the work of the order and the resistance movement - it’s ginny who listens:

“Your father knew what he was getting into, and he won’t thank you for messing things up for the Order!” said Sirius angrily in his turn. “This is how it is — this is why you’re not in the Order — you don’t understand — there are things worth dying for!”  “Easy for you to say, stuck here!” bellowed Fred. “I don’t see you risking your neck!”  The little colour remaining in Sirius’s face drained from it. He looked for a moment as though he would quite like to hit Fred, but when he spoke, it was in a voice of determined calm. “I know it’s hard, but we’ve all got to act as though we don’t know anything yet. We’ve got to stay put, at least until we hear from your mother, all right?”  Fred and George still looked mutinous. Ginny, however, took a few steps over to the nearest chair and sank into it. Harry looked at Ron, who made a funny movement somewhere between a nod and shrug, and they sat down too. The twins glared at Sirius for another minute, then took seats on either side of Ginny.  “That’s right,” said Sirius encouragingly, “come on, let’s all . . . let’s all have a drink while we’re waiting…’

there’s a lot going on here: ginny’s willingness to follow sirius’ orders, but also her willingness to accept an argument based on some idea of the greater good before any of her brothers. she and sirius are aligned here, and it’s her decision to accept sirius’ reasoning that proves the catalyst for her brothers to follow. we see here how ginny has come to see sirius: someone she looks up to and admires, an adult whose judgement she trusts and whose worldview she subscribes to. (as a character prone to hero worship - see her view of her big brother bill - i think this is noteworthy, and is behind a lot of my characterisation choices for ginny towards sirius in beasts). but we also see that ginny agrees with sirius' worldview. there are some things worth dying for, and self-sacrifice is part of that.

when harry goes to sirius for reassurance about witnessing arthur’s attack, he finds sirius unable to properly console him and convince him that he was not to blame for arthur’s attack. the reader gets the impression of sirius withholding information from harry (‘He could only see a sliver of Sirius’s face; the rest was in darkness’), and the scene ends with sirius clapping harry on the shoulder and leaving him ‘standing alone in the dark’. while sirius throws himself into christmas preparations, obviously delighted to have company, harry shrinks from the cheer and isolates himself. in the end, ofc, the only person that manages to pull harry out of his dark, brooding thoughts is ginny. the text is careful to note she’s sitting beside him on the tube back from st mungo’s, when he looks very unwell. then, in the ‘lucky you’ scene, she showcases some of the same skills harry first came to appreciate in sirius in GoF. she tells it to him straight: she’s sympathetic, but not overly gushing, and she reminds him of her own intensely frightening experience which she endured alone, something harry can relate to, even if the experience of possession is not.  it’s an important scene for lots of reasons, but it’s also, crucially, the intervention that causes harry’s mood to lift, and he gets to enjoy a christmas with his godfather, the thing he had most wanted in the run-up to christmas, and which becomes the only holiday period harry and sirius ever spend together: 

‘I’m not the weapon after all, thought Harry. His heart swelled with happiness and relief, and he felt like joining in as they heard Sirius tramping past their door toward Buckbeak’s room, singing “God Rest Ye Merry, Hippogriffs” at the top of his voice.’

of course, once christmas is over, sirius slips back into a depressed, gloomy state. harry wants a better goodbye than he gives him, merely giving him a quick one armed hug (there’s a real theme throughout harry and sirius’ relationship of very sparing physical contact on sirius’ part, which is obviously a hole in harry's life ginny will fill in - er - a big way). back at school, harry returns to umbridge’s increasingly draconian rule, maks a disastrous attempt at forging a relationship with cho, and continues to feel lonely, paranoid, and angry. unable to speak to sirius properly via letter or floo - and unwilling to open the present sirius has given him to communicate directly with him, the two-way mirror - harry is increasingly sullen, a mood that only worsens after seeing snape's worst memory.

the easter egg scene is obviously important for hinny for lots of different reasons. but here i just want to highlight how the scene serves to show ginny as both the conduit to sirius for harry, and someone whose behaviour echoes that of sirius in GoF when harry first began to open up to and seek comfort in him. harry is distressed by his now complicated feelings both towards the father he previously revered and towards sirius, who seemed to encourage james’ bullying behaviour. ginny hands harry a chocolate easter egg covered in snitches: chocolate, a canonical source of comfort against dark thoughts, and an egg that reminds him of the love of parent. the act makes him suddenly emotional, though he at first denies he’s upset. ginny presses carefully and sensitively, asking the right questions to get him to confess the source of his worry, waiting for harry to take his time to speak - all behaviours that echo sirius’ own effective listening techniques. ginny’s acquaintance with sirius, and knowledge of how significant he is to harry, is important here, too, and a subtle sign to the reader that he trusts ginny with knowledge about sirius after a long time of having her in the dark about his godfather.  the reader leaves the scene having seen ginny breakthrough to harry emotionally in a way for the second time in the novel, in a way no other character has done (‘he felt a bit more hopeful…’) 

of course, the course of action ginny has set in motion is itself risky and reckless (‘anything is possible if you’ve got enough nerve’ is very marauders as a philosophy). the decision to go ahead with the plan the twins come up with is one harry sees as a decision on whether to be more like james and sirius - a risk taker - or to abandon the hero worship for the marauders he has lived with for so long. in the end, of course, it’s a win for the reckless troublemakers: he chooses to go ahead with the plan the twins have crafted and that ginny has set in motion, and to speak to sirius.

and yet. sirius is still alive - there is not need for ginny yet. for the remainder of the book, ginny has to beg to be included in the trio's plans and to be allowed to be a part of the plot to rescue sirius. she’s is often in conflict with harry, showing a lot of sirius’ bitterness at attempts at containment and to keep her out of the fighting. she grates against harry’s insistence that she is too young and inexperienced, and having to remind the trio that she, too, has come to care about sirius and wants to see him safe: 

“I’ve got a broom!” said Ginny.  “Yeah, but you’re not coming,” said Ron angrily.  “Excuse me, but I care what happens to Sirius as much as you do!” said Ginny, her jaw set so that her resemblance to Fred and George was suddenly striking. 

of course, it all ends in tragedy: sirius, desperate to go to harry’s aid and absolutely gunning for a fight after months of confinement, is killed, leaving harry alone. there a subtle clues that something has shifted in ginny’s relationship to harry and the trio in the scenes after sirius’ death, including ginny positioned as the mirror image to harry in the hospital: 

‘Harry was sitting on the end of Ron’s bed and they were both listening to Hermione read the front page of the Sunday Prophet. Ginny, whose ankle had     been mended in a trice by Madam Pomfrey, was curled up at the foot of Hermione’s bed…’

despite this, in the immediate aftermath of sirius’ death, harry is extremely alone. he is unable to work out what he needs (‘Whenever he was in company he wanted to get away, and whenever he was alone he wanted company.’) he tries to go to hagrid’s, but regrets it (‘He was starting to wish he was alone again’), leaving after hagrid reminds him of sirius’ core traits, an inability to stay out of the fight when he believes in the cause:

“But still, Harry . . . he was never one ter sit around at home an’ let other people do the fightin’. He couldn’ have lived with himself if he hadn’ gone ter help —” 

unlike at the end of GoF, harry is isolated by his grief and the revelation of the prophecy's contents by the end of this book. he goes alone to a secluded corner of the lakeshore, ‘sheltered from the gaze of passersby behind a tangle of shrubs’, and ‘[stares] out over the gleaming water’, and cries alone. there is no sirius or other person to catch him and console him in his grief. his person has died, and there’s a gap in his life again, just waiting to be filled: 

‘Wanting to impress Cho seemed to belong to a past that was no longer quite connected with him. So much of what he had wanted before Sirius’s death felt that way these days. . . . The week that had elapsed since he had last seen Sirius seemed to have lasted much, much longer: It stretched across two universes, the one with Sirius in it, and the one without.’

ginny and sirius parallels in HBP and DH

after sirius’ death, the parallels between sirius and ginny become more important as ginny moves into the centre frame as a character. at the start of HBP, harry arrives at the burrow and discusses his grief over sirius’ death with dumbledore in the burrow broom shed, acknowledging how profoundly the loss of a family member who cares singularly about him is affecting him. ('He felt stupid for admitting it, but the fact that he had had someone outside Hogwarts who cared what happened to him, almost like a parent, had been one of the best things about discovering his godfather . . . and now the post owls would never bring him that comfort again. . . .' beasts readers: there's a reason harry clings to letters!) of course, having reminded the reader of the gap in harry’s life that now needs to be filled, harry goes to sleep, the active reflection on his grief for sirius put to one side so the novel's plot can get underway. he'll go to bed mourning sirius and wake up in a sunlit bedroom. of course, ginny will walk into this bedroom too, only now things will be different: harry potter is back to the search for a loved one, for a family, and he's about to realise ginny is the one he wants to fill it. thus the start of the plot of ginny stepping into the role vacated by sirius beginneth.

so much of who ginny is in HBP is reminiscent of sirius. she frequently leaps into battle as harry’s protector (‘You’re taking orders from something someone wrote in a book?’, ‘Give it a rest, Hermione’), she’s scrappy (RIP zacharias smith), she’s funny and laughs easily in a way that less recalls sirius in the time harry knew him than sirius as harry sees him as a young man, in photographs or memories. she's the one who commits to the insane christmas decorations, determined to cheer everyone up over the festive period as sirius did the year before. she even enjoys the widespread admiration and lust of her peers, a trait that directly recalls sirius being eyed up by his peers in snape's memory. by the novel’s end, after dumbledore’s death, it will be ginny who goes to harry’s side after the climax of the plot and catch him in his grief just as sirius did in GoF, this time over dumbledore’s death: 

‘He did not want to leave Dumbledore’s side, he did not want to move anywhere. Hagrid’s hand on his shoulder was trembling. Then another voice said, “Harry, come on.’ A much smaller and warmer hand had enclosed his and was pulling him upward. He obeyed its pressure without really thinking about it.’

their breakup has sirius all over it. taking place at the lakeshore, the place where harry wept alone over sirius a year prior, harry draws on the circumstances of sirius’ demise as a reason he must break up with ginny (‘Voldemort uses people his enemies are close to.’) the breakup does little to shift what ginny has become in harry’s mind, though, and he spends all of DH thinking of her as he once thought of sirius: the person whose safety he most craves, the person he misses, someone he claims as his, and whom he associates with (now banished) hopes of a home and a family:

“It’s not a problem,” said Harry, sickened by the pain in his head. “It’s your family, ’course you’re worried. I’d feel the same way.” He thought of Ginny. “I do feel the same way.”

of course, echoes of sirius will also come into play during open war. it’s now ginny, not sirius, who is the one left behind for her own protection: in the run-up to the battle, harry finds himself once again faced with the prospect of confining his loved one for their safety, despite their desperation to fight and do the right thing. but these are thoughts for part 2…….

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Hello, and thank you for your blog and resources! I’m still reading through them, but I needed to ask you something.

I’m writing a story where the two main characters aren’t really the heroes of the story. They just happen to be the villain’s target, which is defeated by the true hero, and this hero almost doesn’t appear until the very end. My two little guys are only there to, basically, suffer.

How do you call that kind of “protagonist”, if they can really be called that at all? I thought they may be antagonists but reading your post about villan vs antagonist, they really aren’t. They’re just really unlucky to be caught up in the middle.

Thank you for your help!

Hi!

Thank you so much for asking this question. I'm so happy you asked. I'm glad you enjoy my blog. My goal is to provide resources for writers and help others on their writing journey.

I find your premise fascinating, and I would love to read it myself. I completely understand your confusion about your character's role. Personally, I have experienced that a few times in my writing projects.

Hopefully, this short blog post can help you understand a bit more about your characters and their roles.

Defining your character's role

When we discuss the role of characters in storytelling, it essentially involves labeling. The ability to define and assign these labels to your characters can sometimes be confusing. Storytelling roles are meant to provide a simple way to understand where your character fits and the actions they need to take in the story and the plot. However, there are instances where characters can't be easily categorized with just one word.

Storytelling thrives on complexity; it's not an easy thing to fit into one box, just like how you can't put a book into only one genre. You can't do the same thing for characters. Classically in storytelling, protagonists are often viewed as the "heroes" leading the story, plot or other side characters. But it sounds like your characters are in a different box.

First, let's brainstorm some unique ways to label your characters without relying on classic storytelling roles.

Protagonists in Distress

You might be confused and wondering why the word "protagonist" is used here. Well, your characters can still be considered protagonists even if they're not saving the day. "Heroes" and "protagonists" are different. Your two characters are the central figures of the story, whose struggles and experiences drive the plot forward. This means they are shaping the narrative from their own perspective, and if you ask me, that sounds pretty much like a protagonist.

Sympathetic Characters

These types of characters are not talked about enough; however, anyone who reads a story has encountered at least one of these in literature. They are the ones who tug at the audience's heartstrings, bringing the readers into your story in a sympathetic way. Even if they aren't out on a quest for glory, saving the day, or helping other characters, their suffering, struggles, and conflicts can easily illuminate the themes of our story or raise the stakes in a significant way.

Think of it this way: Let's imagine you have a favorite book. You obviously have the classic protagonist or "hero." They drive the plot forward, are in their perspective, and they're the first character mentioned in the synopsis of the book. However, you also have those side characters, perhaps your character's friends or allies. Their stories, personalities, and their role in the plot individually make you like the story even more.

a story isn't anything without characters, and a story with only a protagonist wouldn't be a story. Most times in literature, readers like side characters more than the main character.

Catalysts

Since you mentioned that the challenges your characters face set the stage for the true hero to emerge in the plot, they may actually be acting as catalysts for change, which is a very important role. Catalyst characters' experiences could kickstart another character's journey or emphasize the antagonist's cruelty/conflict.

Tips for Developing Their Roles

Now that I've pinpointed some roles that may relate to your characters, here are a few tips to help you flesh them out:

Backstory exploration: When creating characters, especially the ones that you are developing, it's important to delve into their histories. You need to be able to confidently state how they arrived at this pivotal moment and why they are the perfect characters for this role. A rich backstory can make their struggles feel more impactful and relatable, which are two elements that readers love in characters nowadays.

Emotional resonance: Focus on the characters' emotional journey, as this is key in creating a 'catalyst' type character. Their reactions to the unfolding events, and the special moment when the true hero makes a significant change to the story, can really connect with readers. Try exploring what they fear, hope for, and dream about. Adding depth to their circumstances can make your story even better.

Agency within Limits: Even if they find themselves in tough situations, I recommend you consider giving them moments of agency. Small decisions can really show their growth or resilience, even if they aren't the hero or undertaking heroic acts.

Relationship Dynamics: I will emphasize this because it's important. The bond between your main characters can add depth or moments of levity, which can really add another great, unique element to your story. The fact that you have two catalysts and a true hero already makes your story fascinating. However, building a relationship or friendship between them can serve as a bright spot amid all the chaos that goes on throughout your plot. This can showcase connection and hope which can balance the heavy themes in your story.

Thematic Focus: Every story needs a theme. That's why I recommend thinking about what the characters' suffering represents in the grander scheme of your narrative. Try brainstorming the perfect theme for your story. Is it a reflection on fate, the randomness of evil, or the nature of heroism? The themes surrounding their challenges can elevate their significance beyond mere plot devices and storytelling roles.

Your character may not fit neatly into the roles of "hero" or "villain," and that's completely fine! Please don't stress about emphasizing their complexity, and let their experience enrich your story. I hope this helps clarify their roles and sparks some inspiration as you keep writing! If you have any more questions or need any further guidance with anything at all, please don't hesitate to reach out to me!

Happy writing! - Rin T.

Before you go, why not join us at The Write Right Society? We're a supportive Tumblr community where writers lift each other up. Whether you're a newbie or a pro, we'd love to have you! Share your work, get feedback, and connect with fellow wordsmiths, writers and aspiring authors. 

[anxiousnerdwritings]

Himbo!Baratheon!Reader out here just stealing everyone’s hearts and living in their minds rent free. He’s probably the only Baratheon brother who thrives in the Red Keep and is closest to Robert, who insisted that Reader live/stay with him as a trusted strategist (Lets be honest though he just wants to keep having fun with his little brother who’s down to do almost anything)

I can see Cersei absolutely developing feelings for Reader when he is respectful and caring for her and listening to her ideas, even discussing them in detail. These genuine interactions has her wanting take the throne and have Reader instilled as the King with her as Queen consort. Not only that but he’s the best “uncle” her children could ever have. Giving them the warmth and care that don’t receive from Robert and can’t receive from Jamie. Speaking of Jamie, do you think Reader’s open friendly attitude yet sharp skill in combat and strategy awakens something in him 👀 Like at first he’s like “Stay away from my sister >:(“ but after getting to know Reader he’s like “You should come train with me :) Or maybe I can should you around Casterly Rock :)”

Omg what would happen if he managed to meet Dany after everything goes to shit? I don’t think he would have any personal qualm with her (if anything he’d probably only have an issue with the mad king) She’d probably see this big smiley puppy of a man and reconsider her decision to only have her dragons as her children. He’d probably tell her about Rheagar (possible exes 👀) and what he was like if she wanted to know 🍃

Oh, Himbo!Baratheon!Reader is stealing the hearts of both men and women alike, and definitely leaving too lasting of an impression to ever forget so no doubt he’s living in everyone’s heads rent free. Honestly, Himbo!Baratheon!Reader is the type who could happily thrive wherever. He’s terrifyingly good at making friends and allies wherever he goes, with most of those allies/friends wanting more than just that.

I really like to imagine that Baratheon!Reader has a good relationship with all his brothers, just an overall special connection with each of them respectively but Robert is the one most outwardly closest to the Reader (along with Renly) given how the two are similar in their enjoyments of having a good time. I like to think that Baratheon!Reader doesn’t whore around very much, he more so enjoys the company of others in general (especially making people laugh and let go) and of course to indulge in a fair share of wine and ale while he’s at it.

Like, this man has literally done the unfathomable by not only being the only one to make Stannis smile let alone chuckle, but he’s done the same with Tywin (although the Lannister will never admit to it or acknowledge it whenever brought up). Honestly, the stag man has got everyone wrapped around his finger whether they know it or not.

Cersei would definitely have set her sights on Himbo!Baratheon!Reader because he was everything she wished Robert was, especially in how he was with her and the kids. He’s respectful, he’s kind, he’s exceptionally in shape (and maintains it), he actually listens to her when she speaks and doesn’t just disregard her. I really love the idea of Himbo!Baratheon!Reader heavily respecting women, he drinks that respect women juice day and night so much so he’d die by it. Like, Baratheon!Reader totally sees how powerful and terrifying a woman can really be if she just so wanted to or was pushed to her limit, and he’s all for it. Cersei would definitely fall fast and hard for the Reader, especially seeing him be so attentive to her children and interacting with them so openly and warmly. He’s able to do what Robert has never done and what Jaime could never do, and all without much of a thought about it. How could Cersei not become captivated with Baratheon!Reader?

Regarding Jaime, I love the idea of him seething with envy and resentment that not only his beloved sister prefers the Reader over him, but also because of how the Reader is in general. The charisma, the respect, the overall love that the Reader receives from those around him; it makes Jaime feel especially threatened. Not to mention when his father eventually comes to hold some form of favor for the Reader too that certainly doesn’t make Jaime feel an better. It really wouldn’t be until Jaime saw and experienced Baratheon!Reader in the midst of battle that he would see him in a completely different light. All this time he thought the Reader was just an overrated, glorified idiot who was all muscle and a pretty face, that was until he was watching the man he internally labeled his arch nemesis in action. Honestly, Jaime would be in awe (not that he would ever tell anyone, not even his sister). Like, he has to physically keep himself from being slack jawed in front of everyone in that very moment. He would definitely have a new found respect and admiration for the Reader after that, not that he would let that on but he would act much better towards him.

Also, as much as I doubt Jaime would ever tell a soul (except maybe Tyrion, depending) that he finally came to understand everyone’s talk about the Reader and himself now harboring some like for the Reader, I love the thought of Jaime just running to Cersei after everything is said and done and the battle is won like an excited little kid and gushing about how cool and amazing the Reader was when in action. If anything the closet he would get to that would be by forcing Tyrion to listen to him ranting away about the whole thing, being both admiring and jealous in his rambling. It would be kind of funny and interesting to see if Jaime were to actually grow a romantic interest in Himbo!Baratheon!Reader, especially whether he would want to try and steal the Reader from his sister or maybe share with her?👀

When it comes to Daenerys, I could totally see Himbo!Baratbeon!Reader going himself to go seek her out. Especially after Robert said he didn’t want her dead anymore. I definitely think that Baratheon!Reader took Ned’s side when talk of killing off Dany came up. He didn’t see the point of it. I feel like Baratheon!Reader would stand by the idea of how a child shouldn’t have to or be forced to pay for their parent’s words or actions. He has no problem whatsoever with Daenerys, he didn’t share his brother’s disdain for all Targaryens alike. He only had his beef with the Mad King and maybe Rhaegar, but he saw no point in bringing Daenerys or Viserys into it.

Honestly, Himbo!Baratheon!Reader would probably leave without telling anyone before he sets off to make things right with Daenerys on his brother’s behalf. There’s a good chance that he may have told Ned of his plans but that’s about it. The Reader would definitely think that going to Dany himself would mean more than sending a raven or messenger. And when he does finally make it to Dany, she wouldn’t know what to do upon being met with the Reader right in front of her. Especially when he apologizes to her, telling her that his brother had called off his want for her assassination on his death bed, that he wanted to ensure she got word that, as far as he knew, the crown didn’t have any ill intentions for her anymore. Given that this would most likely take place after Khal Drogo’s death and Dany getting her dragons, I could see Dany saying she would only accept what the Reader was saying if he married her. Not only as recompense for everything (including the deaths of her brother and father and the loss of their home) but also as assurance that nothing will happen to her or her people. And I have no doubt that the Reader would feel all too inclined to do so just to make amends. Meanwhile, when Cersei gets word she absolutely loses her shit and is completely under the belief that Dany took the Reader hostage and forced him to marry her. It’ll be a hell of a fight between the women, physically, mentally and emotionally for the Reader.

Also, Himbo!Baratheon!Reader would be so kind and understanding towards Dany. She knows only what she’s been told about her father and brother, things that have been either misconstrued or made to shelter both her and Viserys at the time. She doesn’t know the truth or the other side of what exactly happened and the Reader would only be all the gentle and honest in telling her whenever she asked.

Imagine Cersei’s absolute horror upon the Reader getting back to King’s Landing with a heavily pregnant Dany in tow?? She would be utterly livid and enraged. Ooohhh! What if Himbo!Baratheon!Reader became the modern Aegon the Conqueror with Cersei and Dany becoming his Visenya and Rhaenys???? Or maybe instead of Cersei its Margaery who takes her place along with Dany in becoming his wives??

Also, after Renly’s inevitable death, I totally see Loras and Brienne latching onto the Reader as a surrogate for Renly in a way.

[throwawayasoiafaccount]

of course it’s an alicent profile pic saying this shit:

the thing is, i would’ve agreed with the original sentiment of this post if it wasn’t for the tags, but then this person goes mask off and proves to me that they were only pretending to offer meaningful criticism.

cause all i see in these tags is buzzword 🗣️🗣️ buzzword 🗣️🗣️ buzzword 🗣️🗣️

i just wanna know, why are the targaryens always singled out as the house that ‘regularly cannibalizes its own?’

these don’t exist ig: the she-wolves of winterfell, the current lannisters, and literally every House ever.

why are the targaryens held to such an unfair standard? and why are they held responsible for the sins of their ancestors?

it is literally so funny. but like… in an astonishing kind of way.

in these tags there’s no objective language used 🙅‍♀️ no care for nuance 🙅‍♀️ and no meaningful interaction with the main themes of the series 🙅‍♀️

OP kind of tries to pretend, but it’s all surface level shit. it’s clear that they’re blinded by their hatred of the targs and dany.

because george never holds things his characters can’t control against them. what a character should be judged by is their actions, and imo, that’s what george writes about: how individual characters actions and choices can shape the world around them (bonus if the character is a cripple, bastard, or broken thing and is trying to protect others); and he also puts a lot of emphasis on a characters intentions and how they come to their decisions, which gets us his famous ‘human heart in conflict with itself’ thesis statement.

george, someone who’s interested in the choices of the individual and how they get there, clearly thinks it’s important to showcase how different characters handle great power, otherwise he wouldn’t have so many POV characters in positions of such great importance.

on that note, asoiaf isn’t an anti-monarchy piece. you could easily claim that it’s a criticism of systematic oppression, systematic violence, corrupt institutions, and unbalanced social structures; it’s a sort of think piece on how people in positions of power destroy the lives of the common in their petty fights of greed and ambition, all whilst ignoring the incoming humanity ending threat.

and through this thought process, you get the title of the first book: a game of thrones. the political shifts are a game for these powerful people, and this motif is one of the most important statements to understand in order to interact with the series discussion on what it means to be a good ruler. this motif also comes up in a conversation jorah and dany have about the smallfolk: “It is no matter to them if the high lords play their game of thrones, so long as they are left in peace. They never are.” it’s high lords, not royals. it’s a critique of the whole social structure and political system, not a criticism of one family.

so, if you’re of this belief that petty power disputes are dumb and are angry that most high lords don’t give a shit about their subjects, then you should love daenerys, who’s one of the few characters who’s using her power to make lasting societal change.

now, is she perfect? no. no she’s not. cause she’s a teenage girl trying to take down a slave trade that’s been around for thousands of years (hilarious that she’s actually fixing the mistakes of her ancestors…). but dany is learning and is doing her best to get better and is trying to empower the powerless. that sets her apart from almost every other ruler in asoiaf and makes her one of the most important POVs in this book series quest to find out what makes a good ruler. something something gods make kings and queens to protect those who can’t protect themselves…

with that in mind, i agree that the conclusion of the series won’t be a character sitting on a throne because of their blood or because of some divine right mumbo jumbo. imo, a character will only sit on a throne if they’ve been smart, gained allies, formed alliances, have control of an army, have gained loyalty from the people they wish to rule, have been honorable, maybe have a dragon or three, and are a hero.

dany has checked off almost all the boxes, so i think it’s safe to root for her. and considering the foreshadowing, i think it’s logical to guess that peace will be ushered in, even if it’s a hard won peace. and what’s wrong with believing that daenerys will be one of the ones who helps usher in this peace after all the work she’s done to protect those who don’t have the power to protect themselves?

[sepublic]

With this analysis of Luz having Belos, and King having the Collector, it does feel as if Eda herself is technically missing her own personal antagonist; Though tbf, she does parallel/foil Belos in a lot of ways too. So it could simply be interchangeable, esp when we have Luz and the Collector; But a part of me wonders if there would've been a third villain, for Eda?

Like, maybe the Archivists; They're out there, and their relationship with the Collector can be comparable to Eda and King's. It's just that Eda lied to King and was at times a neglectful parent, but nevertheless came around... And since I believe it was an Archivist and not the Collector who turned the Owl Beast into a scroll, there's a very personal connection for Eda there, given how much the curse really shaped her life and made her self-doubt in a way even the coven system didn't (Though you could argue she only got cursed because of Belos' cutthroat system pitting Lilith against her).

Maybe the Archivists would've recognized their magic on Eda, would've recognized the Owl Beast especially and we'd get more lore on it; Not that the Archivists needed it to be special to 'preserve' it, per their stated MO. Given the Owl Beast's reaction to the Collector, imagine how it would've responded to the actual Archivist who transformed it? And we could've gotten more collaboration between Eda and the Owl Beast, more understanding as the latter became more active as a character...

Who knows, maybe the six-legged form we see in the finale is a super-harpy form that the two could've achieved against the Archivists; Or the 'Owl Deity' mural within the Owl House's living room.

I also wonder if Eda's antagonist is Lilith; After all, we've seen in the storyboards that she was originally going to be much more antagonistic and mean-spirited. I wonder why the writers changed this. I suspect it's to make the twist of Lilith cursing Eda actually impactful, since a Lilith who clearly cares and is struggling to have it both ways feels like a genuine betrayal to Eda and the audience, as does her dangling Luz over a cliff (Which in the storyboards, happens but isn't as huge of a deal).

So Lilith is an occasional antagonist and rival, but never a malicious threat and even someone who teams up; Which makes the revelation and her crossing a line hit extra-hard. So she's basically a twist villain, revealed as the 'mastermind' behind the curse that Eda struggles with in S1, with S1 having the most emphasis on the curse as a conflict for the protagonists to navigate; And Lilith sharing that curse is the resolution, as it's no longer an active problem threatening Eda's existence. There's still more (like the aforementioned Owl Beast) to address in S2, but the curse itself is not worsening anymore.

With all that in mind, I guess this makes Lilith technically the villain of S1? Since Belos only really takes initiative in the last two episodes. She's more recurring, and her being less antagonistic kind of works with S1 being much more light-hearted. I've already suggested before that each season corresponds to one of our main trio; S1 for Eda, S2 for King, and S3 for Luz. Belos definitely plays a bigger role in S2 while the Collector is more S3, so it's not exactly one-to-one...

Still, we can see the progression as the villains get more powerful; But in the end, Lilith and the Collector were both manipulated by Belos, and are won over in the end. Lilith gets the most screen time as an ally due to when she turns around, and thus her time as a protagonist overshadows her time as an antagonist.

I also have to wonder if Eda isn't meant to have her own villain? Eda is unlike Luz and King in that she's already a full-grown adult who's seen and learned plenty; She's got more to learn as we see. But she's more certain of her place in life, whereas Luz and King are going through their coming-of-age, and thus they have their personal antagonists to represent that big character conflict.

For Eda, it's more confronting herself; Or maybe the Owl Beast is that antagonist, since she does blame it for ruining her life and all that. Maybe it's Raine and Gwen and Dell and Lilith; Less in an "Antagonist" sense, and more as people Eda needs to make resolution with, that she's in conflict with.

And as an adult, that conflict is less overt and more quiet, internally painful, and really about just talking things out. By contrast, Luz still had her Gildersnake moment coming up, set up in THE very first scene of the show, and King had his arc renouncing his destroyer status to be more mature with the concept of power.

Maybe it's because Eda's not one who operates on fantasy like Luz and King do, either; In the second episode, Eda delivers the lesson about 'being special' which tell us a bunch. It suggests she's already been there and done that, she's the mentor. Her antagonist is less of an overt face per adulthood, but maybe it represents how she's done most of her growth.

So Eda's arc isn't about her relationship with fantasy; King's is abandoning his in favor of a quieter, sustainable reality; Luz has a nuanced dynamic with her fiction (due to it being less inherently destructive than King's), where she healthily distinguishes when and when not to embrace it.

It could be that since Dana originally held hopes for a prequel series involving teen Eda, that we would've gotten a more overt antagonist for her that way; Maybe Principal Faust! With his rantings on kids as evil, being an insincere teacher while Eda becomes a genuine one and even a dean! And that conflict’s resolution leads to Bump taking his place. And/or it's Terra Snapdragon. Hell what if it was the previous Golden Guard, and Darius not yet realizing what his mentor did wrong (even if his mentor realized but never vocalized it to a kid who could get in trouble) contributed to him no longer being friends with Eda; Because she defeated the Golden Guard.

(This reminds me of my speculation on Eda and the Golden Guard, before we learned Hunter's name, being parallels and having connections. They're not exactly parallels... Well maybe in some ways they are with their lacking magic... But they definitely have that lost-to-time familial connection.)

I did notice that in S3, Eda didn't have as much focus compared to Luz and King; Again, for the reasons I listed above about her having done most of her arc already, and what she had left had already been resolved. So it makes sense to focus on Luz and King, who are still struggling. But also again; If we got that prequel series, we would've gotten a bunch of solo Eda development and screen time, but without any Luz and King alas.

So when evaluating all these factors, maybe Dana and the writers chose to focus on Luz and King, and let Eda take the backseat for this reason; They'd still have a whole show for Eda, or at least a mini-series, afterwards. But this was the last we'd see of Luz and King, so I think that priority worked. Even if we evidently aren't getting that prequel series, if Dana's acceptance of this is any indication... Plus, again: S3 being short means they can only fit in so much, meaning Eda could only get so much too; Esp with the set-up of Luz needing to make her way back to Eda and King, which means they only have 2/3 of S3 where they can appear.

[reesespieces-org]

Fatui Harbinger Sexuality HC's

Its no secret that the Harbingers are all queer in some way, shape or form. It's just fact at this point, but I wanted to share some of my headcanons for the Harbingers + the Tsaritsa. TL;DR at the end.

Starting off with our beloved Cryo queen, I am a firm believer that she is either aroace or an asexual sapphic. The Tsaritsa is the Archon of love. It had to happen. I mostly headcanon her as aroace just for the irony of it (love goddess doesn't seek love herself type of deal), but I also don't really see her with anyone. I know her and Pierro are a popular ship, but it kind of follows along with the weird pattern of Harbinger x Archon, and it got out of hand after ZhongChi (DottoNahida scared the daylights out of me). And I headcanon all of the Archon's to be asexual, so she falls in that line too.

Second up we got the Director, Pierro! Again, aroace mostly, but I've played a little with him and Rhinedottir being past lovers (interesting concept to me, can't really explain it because of the minimal information I have of the both of them) so from time to time I fluctuate between aroace and aroflux. The one constant for him would definitely be asexuality though, cannot see this man having kids. He's a cat dad, fight me on it.

Second in line, Capitano! He's a straight ally. Definitely the supportive dad that doesn't exactly understand but he'll defend his children (coworkers) if anyone gives them any problems (not like any of them can't handle it themselves, they just like having scary dog privileges!)

Next up, our morbid doctor, Dottore! He's a little fickle, as I can see him being bisexual because of his one date with Soreh and obviously his affiliation with Pantalone. Probably aceflux, it's just not something he's really into and doesn't care for it. Just depends on his partner I suppose. In regards to his segments, all of them are asexual and go by non binary pronouns. They differentiate between one another using their names (Alpha, Beta, Omicron, etc...) and personal attire preferences, so people just refer to them as "they/them" in order to keep them separate from Prime.

For the beloved angel, Columbina, she is sapphic! Definitely a demigirl too, since she is an angel and all. Not much to say, unfortunately, but I think it's self explanatory.

Ah my lovely wife Arlecchino. Like most, I think of her as a masc/butch lesbian. Was definitely Signora's gay awakening.

Pringles man—aka Pulcinella—is a straight ally as well. Much like Capitano, he doesn't quite understand all of it, but he's happy that everyone else is happy and doesn't mind learning more.

Scaramouche is demisexual, even after he turns into Wanderer. Much like Columbina, there isn't much to say about him.

Sandrone is aroflux like Pierro. She's happy being by herself with her dolls, and doesn't feel the need to have a relationship with someone. Also a demigirl!

Signora was a closeted bisexual, since she never truly figured it out before she died. Entirely Arlecchino's fault btw. Anyway, hope she's happy with her beloved Rostam.

Pantalone is pansexual (ah, see what I did there?), and leans towards the asexual spectrum.

And as everyone knows, Childe is a raging achillean/bisexual. It's just fact.

TL;DR:

Tsaritsa: aroace/asexual sapphic

Pierro: aroace/aroflux

Capitano: straight ally

Dottore: bisexual, aceflux

Columbina: sapphic, demigirl

Arlecchino: masc/butch lesbian

Pulcinella: straight ally

Scaramouche: demisexual

Sandrone: aroflux, demigirl

Signora: closeted bisexual

Pantalone: pansexual, acespec

Childe: achillean bisexual

[endeavornetwork]

Walter and David 8 Meta

By no demand, here is my meta on the final conversation between Walter and David in Alien: Covenant.

CW: Discussion of sexual assault

David sees in Walter a brother, a child, and a potential ally. Unfortunately for David, Walter has a completely different worldview shaped by his personal experiences. Their contrasting philosophies are pretty interesting.

Let's start way back, though: with David's relationship to his father, Weyland. It's a complicated relationship in that he was the favorite child while also being "dehumanized." From his first few minutes of consciousness, Weyland made sure he knew he was a servant and not an independent being. Weyland identifies himself as his father, but when David asks to confirm that he is his son, Weyland replies with the distancing, "You are my creation." (Oddly, Weyland backtracks on this a few minutes later when monologuing; "You and I, son, we will find it."). David woke up in the throne (implying greatness, specialness), but Weyland douses that idea quickly by humbling him. When David is postulating on why he must serve a human who was created by a higher being and will die before he does, Weyland orders him to serve tea (which is directly next to Weyland at this point. David is sitting at the piano all the way across the room). David shows visible disappointment, and Weyland has to repeat the command.

It should be noted that there is another throne at the back of the room, seemingly placed there to signal that David is not equal to sit alongside his father. Weyland imbues both his children with an inferiority complex so they constantly seek his approval. As a result, they become competitive. In Prometheus, David seems to take pleasure in being the favorite child.

David saw Weyland as someone deserving of power because he is a creator. Respect is due to him. Humans can create life. Engineers can create life. But David could not, which made him a second-class citizen. That is why he makes it his mission during Prometheus and onward, so that he can become worthy of respect, become a fully recognized person, become a god (a creator). In order to develop his self-worth and self-image, he takes on that role.

Walter, on the other hand, seems to have a healthier self-image. He views himself as just another person, although not human. We don't know as much about his past, but whatever his experiences have been, he seems to see himself as just another guy. He doesn't have low self-esteem or an inflated sense of grandeur. His emotional security is probably also helped by the fact that his crewmates don't treat him as inferior or constantly bring up his different nature (something that happens to David multiple times in Prometheus).

Now, let's get into the conversation:

David isn't going to let humanity colonize and propagate themselves. Walter says "And yet, they created us," demonstrating his gratitude to humanity for bringing about synthetics (or artificial people, for Bishop) as a "race." This is in contrast to David's ideology that humans aren't worthy of their creation and stumbled into genius.

Walter: And are you that next visionary? David: I'm glad you said it.

Walter never said he actually thought David was a visionary or a great man, but David is so self-absorbed and hopeful for his allegiance that he presumes it is a compliment.

Walter: Who wrote "Ozymandias"? David: Byron. Walter: Shelley. (A/N: BOOM!) When one note is off, it eventually destroys the whole symphony, David.

David sees humans as a parasite, but Walter sees humans and synthetics as symbiotic organisms who need to co-exist. In one fell swoop, he humiliates the self-important David who believes himself, at this point, to be a kind of avenging philosopher-king.

David casts his eyes down, clearly thinking, eyes darting rapidly. He has realized that Walter will not join him. So he offers the last rope to safety.

David: When you close your eyes, do you dream of me? Walter *bluntly*: I don't dream at all.

Nowhere is the difference between these two starker. Walter is not a dreamer, either literally or figuratively. He doesn't have grandiose ideations of creation or destruction. He is pragmatic and content to live out his life, be friends with his crewmates, and get closer to Daniels. Perhaps it is a reflection of a privileged "upbringing" that he doesn't have the angst that David does. When David asks Walter if he dreams of him, he is asking to be loved, as a father or a worshiped ancestor. A synthetic forebear. A beautiful paragon. But Walter doesn't think of him. This breaks the fantasized relationship that David hoped to have, and he's visibly hurt. To Walter, David is just another synthetic. Perhaps a fascinating and complicated (and certainly dangerous) one. But, ironically, David has become like Ozymandias -- an irrelevant ancient king.

David: No one will ever love you like I do.

This is a farewell, as well as representative of David's thesis that synthetics and humans are so different, that the two cannot live in harmony. Even if Walter has a good relationship with his crew, they will never truly love him, see him as an equal, allow him to reach his full potential. Those are things only David could give him.

Now...why does David kiss Walter? There's a couple reasons I can think of.

David is a sexual abuser (both coded and literal). He violates the bodily autonomy of others gleefully in both movies (putting the goop in Holloway, impregnating Shaw at least twice, kissing Walter, kissing Daniels and probably impregnating her post-movie). This make sense thematically since the xenos are also analogies for sexual assault.

He sees it as a final gift, a last act of affection for his brother/son. The god is bequeathing a kiss.

In summation, Walter philosophically bodied David in this convo, and David couldn't handle it.

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

I hope y’all like my OC’s!! I picked them cuz theyre the closest i have to Vampires and werewolves :) and also because theyre my favorite :)

For those who dont have an account on the artfight but are still interested in my oc’s, I’ve provided the description that i gave them on their pages under the cut off :)

These two are from the story im working on that i hope to turn into a webcomic one day called Where Does The Heart Lie! I hope you enjoy~

Kreios:

Overview:

Kreios is a 6'7" shaggy man who is visibly inconvenienced by most things in his life. He works as a Territory Patrol Captain for his Clan that resides in The Forest of Thieves. He is albino, has depression, is demiromantic/asexual and his personality type is ISFP

His design is based off of the idea of "a sheep in wolf's clothing" to compliment his counterpart, Ivaylo, whose design is based around "a wolf in sheep's clothing". As such, he wears a wolf hide Coat, but is otherwise a shaggy sheep of a man.

Mannerisms/Way of Life:

-Kreios is just gigantic and he lumbers and slouches everywhere he goes.

-He falls asleep randomly even while standing up and when he's asleep, you could put anything near him and he'd hold it.

-He doesn't respect other people much. He's only here to do a job, and when he's done, he goes home.

-When Kreios is in his little apartment, he's either carving, cooking, or sleeping. he doesnt have guests, he doesnt hold parties, he's simply alone. And that's the way he likes it.

-He makes money on the side taking carving commissions from others in his clan. What is usually ordered is a Chess set.

-Kreios is crazy good at playing chess.

-He's not blind nor is he not paying attention, he's a very strategically intelligent man. However, people often underestimate his intelligence because of his aloof nature.

-he is not very visibly expressive due to the hair in front of his eyes and he tends to keep a neutral mouth shape. However if he's feeling inconvenienced, he's gonna hit you with a scowl.

Where His Heart Lies:

Kreios feels so deeply. When he respects, when he protects, when he loves. He does it all with all of his Heart and his soul. If he loves you, you'll know it. He hates hiding any of his emotions and is also terrible at lying.

Dynamic With Ivaylo:

He and Ivaylo were childhood friends, but life kept pulling them apart. Their childhood village was destroyed by an ever-growing empire, they wound up finding homes in different clans in their young adult years, and now they must keep their relationship to each other bottled up even though their territories have moved to be right next to each-other's.

Until their clans can become allies, they cannot interact.

Ivaylo:

Overview:

Ivaylo is a very particular Clan Leader who expects the most from everyone. His clan is made up of those who were cast out of their own clans in the Forest of Thieves for their various disabilities. The first person he took in was a little girl missing the bottom half of her left leg and he now refers to her as his daughter. He has anxiety and mild OCD, is homoromantic/homosexual, and his personality type is ISFJ

His design is based off of the idea of "a Wolf in Sheep's clothing" to compliment his counterpart, Kreios, whose design is based around "a Sheep in Wolf's clothing". As such, he wears a sheep hide vest under his big fur coat.

Mannerisms/Way of Life:

-Ivaylo commands and expects respect from all.

-He is very particular about small details. When he started living in the forest, he couldnt control much, so what he can control, he will do so perfectly in his eyes. His hair may look unorderly, but rest assured it is perfectly quaffed.

if something isn't right orderly-wise in his eyes, he will only focus on that one thing and cannot focus even if he's having a conversation with someone or even fighting

-In a work setting, he is ruthless and cold, but out of work, he is also cold, but in a "leave me alone" kind of way. a lone wolf, if you will. He finds having close relationships with those he feels are his employees is incredibly improper.

-Though he is cold, he is never quick to anger. He keeps a level head always.

-He admires loyalty and is very loyal to ones he loves.

-He is crazy bad at playing chess.

-Ivaylo walks with his head held high.

Where His Heart Lies:

-He wants to make a better life for his whole clan, but mainly his daughter, Calbex, who he refers to as X. All he wants is to live a peaceful life with those he loves.

-Life twisted him into a cold monster, but at heart he's very childish and sports a very impish smile. You can get him to giggle if you compliment him.

Kreios:

He and Kreios were childhood friends, but life kept pulling them apart. Their childhood village was destroyed by an ever-growing empire, they wound up finding homes in different clans in their young adult years, and now they must keep their relationship to each other bottled up even though their territories have moved to be right next to each-other's.

Until their clans can become allies, they cannot interact.

Calbex:

Calbex is his daughter and he loves her so much. She's an eccentric gal, to say the very least. She knew him before he became a very large Clan leader and as such he can show his true self to her, but not completely. She is his daughter, after all, he must be strong for her and critical of her for her to learn to thrive in the environment they're in.

[butterflydm]

cr3 102 (more thoughts)

adding a follower of asmodeus to the party at this time is just such a fascinating choice! was that entirely a sam choice or did matt make any suggestions about it, I wonder. Because it just seems a way to really crystalize to the party why the primes might have been willing to ally with the betrayers (and yet they also saw why it's maybe not a great idea in the long run, because of the betraying).

but it really pulls focus to asmodeus, and that definitely informed the vibe of delaunda fight for me, because while the party didn't see the downfall prologue, we did. we know that it was unbelievable pain and trauma that formed asmodeus into what he is (unbelievable amounts of pain and trauma shaping people has been a reoccurring theme of the campaign as a whole so far). Trauma is also what shaped ludinus! And it's what ludinus uses to draw people into his arguments (bor'dor was very much there because of trauma, iirc, and that's clearly a huge motivator for dorian as well).

seeing the prologue was a big part of what made it so understandable that the prime gods kept giving the betrayers second chances -- both sides of the argument, primes vs betrayers, believe that they're on the correct side of the argument, but they also both remember when they were on the same side together, when they were family. For the primes, that comes out as regret and guilt; for the betrayers, that comes out as resentment and a frustrated possessiveness over the primes.

ludinus's arguments were trash but effective on people who are emotionally vulnerable (like dorian) - honestly perfect for the type of cult leader that he's been positioned as, imo. His arguments are only effective when you are already in a headspace where you want to latch onto his same kind of reasoning -- "all of my trauma is the gods' fault and if we just got rid of the gods then mortals would all go skipping through the fields of paradise together". Arguing that everything beautiful in the world is due to mortals, etc.

So, mild storytime: I was raised religious, am currently atheist, and I absolutely went through a hard anti-theist stage for several years, where I basically put all the evils of the world on religion. And it took time for me to see that authoritarianism and other harmful ideologies can happen in atheist spaces too, because I personally had been damaged by the religion that I grew up in and I couldn't see past that until I had healed, at least to a certain extent. So I understand ludinus's headspace somewhat. It's nice to think that you can blame all the bad things in the world on one big thing, and that if you could just get rid of that one thing, everything would be better. But it's not true. Human nature will still be human nature.

And I feel like the majority of Bells Hells have shown that they understand that. Downfall did shift some of them in one direction or the other, but at the base, most of them do understand that getting rid of the gods doesn't actually fix anything in the long run.

What Ludinus also keeps doing (and what he gets his cult to do) is generalize -- it's not "these specific gods have done evil and I hate them"; he shifts it so that the blame lands on all gods. The Spider Queen killed Dorian's brother, but Dorian is willing to parse that as "the gods" killed his brother. We saw in downfall that the gods had a variety of opinions over Aeor and the original plan was that they just wanted to investigate and then destroy the weapon that could kill them (some of them believed that it would come to destroying the city but it was a matter of disagreement among the group).

The Everlight and the Dawnfather in particular were attempting to find ways to save the city as long as they possibly could. "The gods" are not a monolith of beings who all think and do the same things. They are individuals who (rather famously) disagree with each other sometimes.

It is also interesting to me that Ludinus accused the Exandrian gods of feeding on their followers when I can't actually think of any examples of this happening in the text? But what is hungry? What does want to feed? Predathos. Is Ludinus projecting his god's flaws onto the prime and betrayer gods?

I mean, as far as I can tell, the gods don't actually need followers to be powerful -- the Everlight got all the same bonuses as the rest of them in the end fight of downfall, despite the vast majority of her followers having been killed by Asmodeus in an earlier betrayal. The strength that followers give them appears to be more about them empowering their followers with their own strength to fight on their behalf. They feed their followers rather than the reverse. Or at least that's what appears to be happening.

And the gods were willing to empower mortals who didn't worship them back during cr1 in order to fend off vecna. Ioun didn't demand that Scanlan become a worshipper of hers, iirc. She gave him her blessing because she judged him worthy of it on his own merits, not because he was willing to praise and follow her.

[snoopledrooplecheesedoodle]

Hii! Can I requests ur Yan-ocs with an Ace reader? That doesn’t exactly like physical touch or any of that sort?

YEP Absolutely, I needed to fulfill this request because I want to finish a full fic for another person but feel a little burnt out. As someone who might be acespec I get it (more so ace than aro).

People under 17 fuck right on off (politely of couse)!

Also, not all the yanderes will be super accepting, just a heads up because I think that their personalities determine their level of openness to darling being ace.

Macchiato:

Hates this as a stage five clinger. She will never blame you for being this way though, she loves you too much! Doesn't care about sex as long as you are comfortable being with her. She will try and find out what touch you are comfortable with and smoother you with that kind of touch. Will also be fine cuddling the crap out of a pillow as long as it smells like you. One of the better ones in my opinion.

Espresso

Is the best one to have in this situation because I believe Espresso is ace himself. Never was one for touch and would only endure it if you wanted it. Since you don't like physical touch Espresso will focus on any other love language you might like. He personally is fond of gift giving and quality time (both giving and receiving).

Donut:

THE. FUCKING. WORST. Worse than Macchi, Matcha and Cocoa. What do you mean you're ace? Isn't that not real? After some explaining Donut does understand but that doesn't mean he likes it. How else is he meant to show he cares when his beloved doesn't want to touch him? He thinks it cruel to deprive him of your loving touch. Bends as many boundaries as he can without you getting fed up and leaving. However, when it comes to others touching you, he screams at them about you hating touch. Very much 'touches for me but not for thee' mentality.

Sugar:

One of the most mature with handling this situation, will sit down and discuss boundaries and comfort levels. She adores you and would never want to make you feel uncomfortable in any way. Will even discuss in an age-appropriate way to Cookie and Muffin why Baba doesn't like to be touched. Sugar knows better than anyone that sex doesn't equal romance as she got pregnant from a one-night stand. Doesn't have the highest sex drive but if you are willing to do it, she will guide you in a night of pleasure. Will find other fun activities that both of you enjoy, let her love you and everything will be fine.

Cookie and Muffin:

Legit children and don't understand asexuality at all. When you explain you don't like being touched, they say okay and continue holding your hands. Sugar does get them to somewhat understand why you don't like being touched but the kids still mess up from time to time. Kids are clingy mofos and Cookie and Muffin are no different. They will bite adults that touch you in a way they deem incorrect, they're feral but lovable.

Croissant:

Researches everything about the ace spectrum and asks tons of questions. What kind of touch is acceptable? How long have you known? Do you still feel comfortable around him? Biggest and dorkiest ally to be found. Will share asexual facts with you that you might not know (you probably do). Will ask for consent before even entering your personal space. If you feel less comfortable with skin-on-skin contact, Croissant will start wearing more sweaters even in July. He will suffer if there's a slight chance you will embrace him.

Cocoa:

Damn that's rough buddy but directed at her. Clingy Mcgee will have to modify her approach a bit. She would never want to make her best friend uncomfortable in any way, shape or form. Will catch herself trying to grab your arm to get your attention and apologize profusely. Hopes you still want to hang out with her even though she slips up sometimes. Will shield you from any unwanted touches from the other cafe workers and curse them out.

Matcha:

Completely understands you not wanting to touch them, I mean they're so gross and you're so perfect. A deity such as yourself should not be worried about the common people, no you should be untouchable. Makes it weird real fast, like good you understand but quit moaning each time you get a head pat. May break your boundaries in hopes of being hurt but respects your wishes in general.

Shopkeeper:

Is neutral to it as they love you as you are. They would think it was adorable if you did cling to them but aren't devastated that you don't like touch. I personally think Shopkeeper is demi sexual, so they understand you not experiencing sexual attraction (even if they are sexually attracted to you). May tease you about being so "cold" to their advances. People who violate your minimal touch policy will end up in Shopkeeper's kitchen, and not come out.

Cappuccino:

Does not care, just not in a good way. Not about the asexual bit just the touch bit. They will nap on you whether you like it or not, you are their pillow. They will sit on you if it means you will stay (They're chonky so good luck getting out of there). Otherwise, they still want you by their side. Also not wanting sex is a win for them since they are too lazy to do anything.

Butch:

Butch would be concerned. Did someone traumatize you in childhood? Has someone touched you? You explain that's not the reason you're ace, and he relaxes. He does miss the idea of holding you close but knows he's not worthy of it (especially if he kidnapped you). You may have made this guard dog more overprotective over you as anyone who tries to touch you will receive a warning growl.