#also funny enough they recently changed the name of my degree which means i have an obsolete title lol

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

don't answer if you don't feel comfortable with it, but what are you studying?

it's not a problem at all!! i'm currently studying an ma in ancient religions at uwstd (online), and i've studied a degree that's only found in one university in the whole country, the uam (i think there's a similar program with a different name in the uab?) that basically combines ancient history, archaeology and classical philology. this is my second ma, as i did one in both the uam and the ucm (it was interuniversitary that's why) that was kinda the continuation of my degree but with a specialization in ancient history (basically after doing my degree you can specialize in one of the three basic areas and i decided to go with history). if all goes well, by march next year i'll start my phd in ancient studies at the ucm :)

[sylvielauffeydottir]

Hello, it is I, your friendly neighborhood historian. I am ready to lose followers for this post, but I have two masters degrees in history and one of my focuses has been middle eastern area studies. Furthermore, I’ve been tired of watching the world be reduced to pithy little infographics, and I believe there is no point to my education if I don’t put it to good use. Finally, I am ethnically Asheknazi Jewish. This does not color my opinion in this post — I am in support of either a one or two state solution for Israel and Palestine, depending on the factors determined by the Palestinian Authority, and the Israeli Government does not speak for me. I hate Netanyahu. A lot. With that said, my family was slaughtered at Auschwitz-Birkenau. I have stood in front of that memorial wall at the Holocaust memorial in DC for my great uncle Simon and my great uncle Louis and cried as I lit a candle. Louis was a rabbi, and he preached mitzvot and tolerance. He died anyway. 

There’s a great many things I want to say about what is happening in the Middle East right now, but let’s start with some facts. 

In early May, there were talks of a coalition government that might have put together (among other parties, the Knesset is absolutely gigantic and usually has about 11-13 political parties at once) the Yesh Atid, a center-left party, and the United Arab List, a Palestinian party. For the first time, Palestinians would have been members of the Israeli government in their own right. And what happened, all of the sudden? A war broke out. A war that, amazingly, seemed to shield Benjamin Netanyahu from criminal prosecution, despite the fact that he has been under investigation for corruption for some time now and the only thing that is stopping a real investigation is the fact that he is Prime Minister.

Funny how that happened. 

There’s a second thing people ought to know, and it is about Hamas. I’ve found it really disturbing to see people defending Hamas on a world stage because, whether or not people want to believe it, Hamas is a terrorist organization. I’m sorry, but it is. Those are the facts. I’m not being a right wing extremist or even a Republican or whatever else or want to lob at me here. I’m a liberal historian with some facts. They are a terrorist organization, and they don’t care if their people die. 

Here’s what you need to know: 

There are two governments for the occupied Palestinian territories in the West Bank and Gaza. In April 2021, Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas postponed planned elections. He said it was because of a dispute amid Israeli-annexed East Jerusalum. He is 85 years old, and his Fatah Party is losing power to Hamas. Everyone knows that. Palestinians know that. 

Here’s the thing about Hamas: they might be terrorists, but aren’t idiots. They understand that they have a frustrated population filled with people who have been brutalized by their neighbors. And they also understand that Israel has something called the iron dome defense system, which means that if you throw a rocket at it, it probably won’t kill anyone (though there have been people in Israel who died, including Holocaust survivors). Israel will, however, retaliate, and when they do, they will kill Palestinian civilians. On a world stage, this looks horrible. The death toll, because Palestinians don’t have the same defense system, is always skewed. Should the Israeli government do that? No. It’s morally repugnant. It’s wrong. It’s unfair. It’s hurting people without the capability to defend themselves. But is Hamas counting on them to for the propaganda? Yeah. Absolutely. They’re literally willing to kill their other people for it.

You know why this works for Hamas? They know that Israel will respond anyway, despite the moral concerns. And if you’re curious why, you can read some books on the matter (Six Days of War by Michael Oren; The Yom Kippur War by Abraham Rabinovich; Rise and Kill First by Ronen Bergmen; Antisemitism by Deborah Lipstadt; and Israel: A Concise History of a Nation Reborn by Daniel Gordis). The TL;DR, if you aren’t interested in homework, is that Israel believes they have no choice but to defend themselves against what they consider ‘hostile powers.’ And it’s almost entirely to do with the Holocaust. It’s a little David v Goliath. It is, dare I say, complicated.

I’m barely scratching the surface here. 

(We won’t get into this in this post, though if you want to DM me for details, it might be worth knowing that Iran funds Hamas and basically supplies them with all of their weapons, and part of the reason the United States has been so reluctant to engage with this conflict is that Iran is currently in Vienna trying to restore its nuclear deal with western powers. The USA cannot afford to piss off Iran right now, and therefore cannot afford to aggravative Hamas and also needs to rely on Israel to destroy Irani nuclear facilities if the deal goes south. So, you know, there is that).

There are some people who will tell you that criticism of the Israel government is antisemitic. They are almost entirely members of the right wing, evangelical community, and they don’t speak for the Jewish community. The majority of Jewish people and Jewish Americans in particular are criticizing the Israeli government right now. The majority of Jewish people in the diaspora and in Israel support Palestinian rights and are speaking out about it. And actually, when they talk about it, they are putting themselves in great danger to do so. Because it really isn’t safe to be visibly Jewish right now. People may not want to listen to Jews when they speak about antisemitism or may want to believe that antisemitism ‘isn’t real’ because ‘the Holocaust is over’ but that is absolutely untrue. In 2019, antisemitic hate crimes in the United States reached a high we have never seen before. I remember that, because I was living in London, and I was super scared for my family at the time. Since then, that number has increased by nearly 400% in the last ten days. If you don’t believe me, have some articles about it (one, two, three, four, and five, to name a few). 

I live in New York City, where a man was beaten in Time Square while attending a Free Palestine rally and wearing a kippah. I’m sorry, but being visibly Jewish near a pro-Palestine rally? That was enough to have a bunch of people just start beating on him? I made a previous post detailing how there are Jews being attacked all over the world, and there is a very good timeline of recent hate crimes against Jews that you can find right here. These are Jews, by the way, who have nothing to do with Israel or Palestine. They are Americans or Europeans or Canadians who are living their lives. In some cases, they are at pro-Palestine rallies and they are trying to help, but they just look visibly Jewish.  God Forbid we are the wrong ethnicity for your rally, even if we agree.

This is really serious. There are people calling for the death of all Jews. There are people calling for another Holocaust. 

There are 14 million Jews in the world. 14 million. Of 7.6 billion. And you think it isn’t a problem the way people treat us?

Anyway (aside from, you know, compassion), why does this matter? This matters because stuff like this deters Jews who want to be part of the pro-Palestine movement because they are literally scared for their safety. I said this before, and I will say it again: Zionism was, historically speaking, a very unpopular opinion. It was only widespread antisemitic violence (you know, the Holocaust) that made Jews believe there was a necessity for a Jewish state. Honestly, it wasn’t until the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting that I supported it the abstract idea too.

I grew up in New York City, I am a liberal Jew, and I believe in the rights of marginalized and oppressed people to self-determine worldwide. Growing up, I also fit the profile of what many scholars describe as the self hating Jew, because I believed that, in order to justify myself in American liberal society, I had to hate Israel, and I had to be anti-Zionist by default, even if I didn’t always understand what ‘Zionism’ meant in abstract. Well, I am 27 years old now with two masters degrees in history, and here is what Zionism means to me: I hate the Israeli government. They do not speak for me. But I am not anti-Zionist. I believe in the necessity for a Jewish state — a state where all Jews are welcome, regardless of their background, regardless of their nationality. 

There needs to be a place where Jews, an ethnic minority who are unwelcome in nearly every state in the world, have a place where they are free from persecution — a place where they feel protected. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with that place being the place where Jews are ethnically indigenous to. Because believe it or not, whether it is inconvenient, Jews are indigenous to the land of Israel. I’ve addressed this in this post.

With that said, that doesn’t mean you can kick the Palestinian people out. They are also indigenous to that land, which is addressed in the same post, if you don’t trust me. 

What is incredible to me is that Zionism is defined, by the Oxford English Dixtionary, as “A movement [that called originally for] the reestablishment of a Jewish nationhood in Palestine, and [since 1948] the development of the State of Israel.” Whether we agree with this or not, there were early disagreements about the location of a ‘Jewish state,’ and some, like Maurice de Hirsch, believed it ought to be located in South America, for example. Others believed it should be located in Africa. The point is that the original plans for the Jewish state were about safety. The plan changed because Jews wanted to return to their homeland, the largest project of decolonization and indigenous reclamation ever to be undertaken by an indigenous group. Whether you want to hear that or not, it is true. Read a book or two. Then you might know what I mean.

When people say this is a complicated issue, they aren’t being facetious. They aren’t trying to obfuscate the point. They often aren’t even trying to defend the Israeli government, because I certainly am not — I think they are abhorrent. But there is no future in the Middle East if the Israelis and Palestinians don’t form a state that has an equal right of return and recognizes both of their indigenousness, and that will never happen if people can’t stop throwing vitriolic rhetoric around.  Is the Israeli Government bad? Yes. Are Israeli citizens bad? Largely, no. They want to defend their families, and they want to defend their people. This is basically the same as the fact that Palestinian people aren’t bad, though Hamas often is. And for the love of god, stop defending terrorist organizations. Just stop. They kill their own people for their own power and for their own benefit. 

And yes, one more time, the Israeli government is so, so, so wrong. But god, think about your words, and think about how you are enabling Nazis. The rhetoric the left is using is hurting Jews. I am afraid to leave my house. I’m afraid to identify as Jewish on tumblr. I’m afraid for my family, afraid for my friends. People I know are afraid for me. 

It’s 2021. I am not my great uncle. I cried for him, but I shouldn’t have to die like him. 

Words have consequences. Language has consequences. And genuinely, I do not think everyone is a bad person, so think about what you are putting into the world, because you’d be surprised how often you are doing a Nazi a favor or two. 

Is that really what you want? To do a Nazi a favor or two? I don’t think that you do. I hope you don’t, at least.

That’s all. You know, five thousand words later. But uh, think a little. Please. 

[nanatsumu]

TEENAGE FEVER.

pairing: iwaizumi hajime x f!reader, oikawa tooru x f!reader

synopsis: iwaizumi has strung you on long enough and you’re finally at the end of your rope.

genre: heavy angst... like make your heart wrench in pain heavy, one sided pining

warnings: manga spoilers, bad grammar (didn’t know it was that bad until i used grammarly), MATURE themes, drinking, smoking, alcohol, iwaizumi being an asshole (he’s also a frat boy because surprise! frat boys should never be trusted), subtle hints at sex, bittersweet ending

word count: 5.9K

series masterlist

part one | part two | part three | part four

it was evident in the way you weren’t sure how to sway your hips to the beat of the music and the way you awkwardly isolated yourself in a quiet corner of the house, sipping on some soda (since you did not want your first frat party experience to end up with you wasted and throwing up on some stranger) that you were definitely not accustomed to the party life.

“are you sure you’ll be fine by yourself y/n?” your roommate asked you with a concerned look on her face.

“i’ll be fine reina,” you give her a tight-lipped smile as you gesture to the phone in your hand. “i’ll just sit here and chill on my phone until you get back.”

“okay okay, i’ll quit babying you now,” she throws her hands up in the air. “call me if some dude tries to hit on you though.”

“will do, but i doubt with how loud the music is that you’ll even answer,” you playfully roll your eyes as she erupts in a fit of laughter.

the brunette pats the back pocket of her jeans where her phone currently resides at.

“even if i don’t hear it, i’ll feel it.”

it becomes quiet momentarily (besides what you assume is i love it by dean blaring in the background) until she starts to looks around warily before leaning in and whispering something into your ear.

“if a hajime iwaizumi tries to talk to you, try to find a way to get out of the conversation,” she pauses for a moment before continuing. “that guy is seriously bad news.”

“y-yeah, i’ll... do that.” you hear her let out a sigh of relief as she straightens up her posture.

it’s hard to hear what she’s saying from there on out, especially with how obnoxiously loud the music has gotten, but you manage to catch the words ‘friends’ and ‘beer pong’ before she slips away amongst the sea of students and you’re left sitting alone on a couch by yourself with only your phone as entertainment.

you had recently moved to california from japan on an academic scholarship for uci, so when you heard reina mention the name ‘iwaizumi hajime’ it sparked a sense of familiarity within you and piqued your curiosity as to if he was also a foreigner studying abroad.

you’ve only been living in the states for a month now which meant you were still getting used to the strange lifestyle here, so the thought of being friends with someone you could potentially relate to had always been swimming in the back of your mind.

“so what’s a pretty girl like you doing here all by yourself?”

a voice snaps you out of your thoughts as you let out a small shriek and the next thing you know, your phone flies out of your hand, hitting the person that just sat down next to you.

“ow!” he cries as he clutches his forehead in pain.

“shit! i’m sorry dude!” at this point you’re scrambling around, not sure where to put your hands as you wave them around haphazardly.

“you know, it’s not nice to throw your phone at someone who's trying to make conversation with you right?” the stranger says in a whiny tone as he switches over to rubbing the red spot forming on his forehead in an attempt to soothe the pain.

“and you know it’s not nice to sneak up on a girl if she’s alone right?” you scoff. “where the hell did you even come from?”

“my mom’s vagina.”

“i didn’t mean literally!” you growl.

he shrugs before making himself comfortable by resting his arms on top of the couch and spreads his long legs.

“y’know, i don’t appreciate you manspreading and i especially don’t appreciate the fact that you’re confident enough to do so when i have no idea who you are.” you grimace.

“the name is oikawa tooru, introduction over,” he gives you a lopsided grin. “but you can call me tooru if you’d like, apparently everyone calls each other by their first names here in the states.”

“japanese?”

“yeah, but i’m not a student here,” he places two fingers on your cheek and gently pushes your head in the direction of the kitchen where you see some people conversing with each other. “you see the guy in the denim jacket with the piercings?”

your eyes wander around until you spot a boy sporting a denim jacket with piercings, just as oikawa described, but you also take note of how oikawa failed to mention that his friend was absolutely breathtaking: he didn’t have a chiseled face but he did have a nice jawline, his hair was spiky but it was styled properly, but what stood out to you the most was the small patch of permanent ink on his wrist.

and it’s as if the heavens were on your side tonight because just as you were thinking about whether or not the tattoo on his wrist branched into something bigger and more complex, he slips off his denim jacket and the sleeveless t-shirt he had on underneath allowed you to see that his entire arm was covered in numerous quantities of tattoos varying in design and color that blended together seamlessly.

“he’s the one that snuck me in,” he leans in closer to your ear and you can practically feel his hot breath on the shell of your ear which makes you shiver. “it’s funny how much college can change a guy, huh?”

he continues.

“his demeanor back in high school wasn’t too different from how it is now, but it like... intensified after he moved here,” oikawa throws his body back and you’re relieved that he finally put some distance between you two because you weren’t sure how much longer you could take him being so close to you. “dumbass probably got caught up in the wrong crowd.”

“and what are you doing here?” you direct your attention back onto the chocolate-haired boy.

“me? i play for a volleyball team in argentina but i’m just visiting iwaizumi.”

your jaw drops and it’s not at the fact that he plays for argentina, but at the way he says it so indifferently like it’s not a big deal at all.

“wait, what the hell!?” you shake your head and take a moment to recollect your thoughts. “i thought you were a student at another school but you’re telling me you don’t even go to school at all?”

“yup!” he grins. “the season just ended and with the free time i have now i just decided to fly here and visit iwaizumi for a bit, y’know, see how well he's adjusting to the university life.”

“and you should’ve seen the look on my face when i saw him for the first time in 4 years and all of a sudden he has an arm full of tattoos and a shit load of piercings.”

“wait, did you just say iwaizumi?”

“hm? yeah, iwaizumi hajime? you know him? i heard he’s pretty popular around here, but i’m pretty sure it’s for all the wrong reasons though.”

“my friend told me he was bad news...” you say sheepishly.

it’s silent for a moment and you’re worried you might have said something wrong or offended your new friend (could you two even be considered friends? i mean he did pop out of nowhere and started talking to you) but your worries are all washed away when you hear a laugh escape his lips.

“i wouldn’t say he’s bad news, just rough around the edges and has a bad habit of hooking up with girls.”

“you know i don’t appreciate you bad mouthing me behind my back shittykawa.”

a deep voice startles both you and oikawa, and when you turn around to see who the owner of the voice was, your mouth grows dry when you realize it’s the iwaizumi hajime standing right behind you.

“iwaizumi!” oikawa stands up and walks over to the spiky-haired male standing behind the couch before slinging an arm around his shoulder. “i was just making small talk with...”

“y/n. l/n y/n.”

“y/n! a pretty name for a pretty girl,” oikawa winks at you and you roll your eyes at his shamelessness. “anyways i’m gonna and grab a drink.”

oikawa pats iwaizumi on the back before sauntering away, leaving you and iwaizumi to be alone together.

“so, y/n?” his gaze is intense and you can’t help but shift around uncomfortably in your seat at the way he’s borderline checking you out. “you’re not from around here are you?”

“uh yeah,” you scratch the back of your head. “i’m from japan but i recently moved here for university.”

“is that so?” you flinch subtly when iwaizumi plops down next to you but it doesn’t go unnoticed by the male. “relax y/n, i don’t bite.”

his voice is velvety with the right amount of gruffness to it, contrary to his friend, oikawa, whose voice is a bit higher and on the whinier side.

“so... what are you majoring in, iwaizumi?” you ask, attempting to make some sort of small talk with him.

“i’m majoring in sports science, what about you?”

“education,” you answer, suddenly feeling a bit less tense than you were earlier. “i wanna become a teacher, but probably just for primary school, middle schoolers and high schoolers scare me.”

iwaizumi laughs.

“and primary schoolers don’t? i have a little sister and she’s literally the devil incarnate.”

you giggle and you think about how easy it is to converse with iwaizumi, but the warning reina gave you earlier still lingers in the back of your head and so you’re careful not to let your guard down too much.

“so how are you liking california so far? it’s different from japan isn’t it?” he asks.

“well, it’s... different i’ll give you that,” you start playing with your bottom lip subconsciously as it’s a habit that you picked up back in high school. “but my roommate is nice at least and that’s the only that matters to me.”

“i’m also planning on moving back to japan in the future but it’ll only be after i finish university and get my bachelor's degree or something,” you continue.

“taking an internship doesn’t seem too bad either? it’s still a while before i graduate so i wanna try and enjoy my university life before i get into thrown into the real world because i don’t wanna be old and wrinkly and live with regrets— i’m rambling now aren’t i?”

“you’re alright,” iwaizumi smiles. “it’s honestly like a breath of fresh air hearing how you have your life planned out, or at least you have a plan on what you want to do with your life because most of the girls i’ve met or i’m friends with are either undecided or are all about ‘living in the moment’ and while being undecided or having that type of mindset isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it just gets repetitive sometimes being surrounded by the same type of people.”

“but you— you’re different from them, i like that.”

you can feel your cheeks starts to heat up and iwaizumi is amused by how you can get so flustered over such a simple compliment.

“thanks... i guess?” you compose yourself and try to cool yourself down by putting your hands on your cheeks.

“so what are you doing here at this party? you don’t strike me as a party animal.”

“because i’m not,” you chuckle. “my roommate dragged me here and i only said yes because i was told it was only gonna be a small get-together, though she didn’t mention anything about the booming music and the alcohol.”

“you a lightweight or something?” he cocks an eyebrow.

“i’m 19, actually, so still not legally allowed to drink,” you state as a matter-of-fact.

“so? i was 19 when i drank for the first time,” he says and you’re alarmed at how he can say it so casually.

“ha, no thanks, i’d rather not accidentally get wasted and throw up on someone later tonight.”

“well, i’ll make sure that you don’t throw up on anybody then,” he stands up and extends his hand out for you to take. “why don’t you come along with me and i’ll fix you up a drink?”

you look at his hand with a wary look in your eyes as reina’s words start to play in your head like a broken record.

‘that guy is seriously bad news.’

“so what do you say, y/n?”

you stare into his brown eyes and it’s almost as if he injected curiosity straight into your veins because the next thing you know, you’re sitting on the counter with iwaizumi standing in between your legs as he’s pouring a bottle of bailey’s irish creme into a tumbler glass for you.

“this is probably the best option for you besides white claw but i’m sure as hell not gonna have you drink that shit especially when it’s your first time,” he sets the almost empty bottle on the counter behind him before handing you the glass, which you reluctantly take. “and i’m not gonna be an asshole and give you spirytus.”

you inspect the liquid by bringing the glass up closer to your eyes and whirling it around a few times in a way that is similar to that of a kid inspecting their halloween candy for poison or blades and it elicits a snicker out of iwaizumi.

“i don’t know... i told my mom i’d move to california to study and be a teacher, not go to parties and practice underage drinking.” you deadpan which only further humors the male in front of you.

“and i told my mom i’d move to california to study sports science, not pierce my ears and get my entire arm tattooed,” he says and you assume that this is his way of trying to coax you into drinking the glass of whiskey in your hands. “i’m sure a little bit of alcohol won’t hurt and i promise you’re not gonna get wasted, take a lick for all i care.”

“fine, but if i accidentally puke all over someone’s shoes then i’m counting on you to pay for dry cleaning.” you say before bringing the glass up to your lips and taking a tiny sip— and to your surprise, it wasn’t that bad.

the taste of whiskey wasn’t overbearing as the taste of cocoa and vanilla overpowered it, but you weren’t complaining as it made it easier for the drink to slide down your throat without you feeling the need to scrunch up your face in distaste.

“not bad right?” iwaizumi smirks and it immediately triggers your fight or flight.

“i haven’t even said anything yet.” you roll your eyes.

“well? what do you think then?”

his hand brushes up against your thigh as he goes to settle them on either side of you, effectively trapping you on top of the counter.

“i-it’s not bad i guess...” your words trail off at the end as you allow your eyes to wander away elsewhere in an attempt to distract yourself from how intimate this position feels.

“y/n,” you turn your attention back towards iwaizumi and your eyes widen at the close proximity between you two. “do you use any lip products?”

“just lip... gloss...” your breath hitches when you notice that he‘s starting to lean in closer as his eyes travel down to your parted lips.

but before he gets a chance to put his hands on you, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket as realization also seems to hit iwaizumi at the same time and he immediately jerks away.

“uh, i think my roommates calling me,” you jump off the counter and dig into the pockets of your shorts so that you can retrieve your buzzing phone. “i’ll see you around campus?”

“yeah, see you around.”

he watches as you head for the exit and once you’re out of sight, he leans against the counter you were just sitting on a minute ago and lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

“that was so lame of you iwa-chan.”

he turns his head towards the direction of where the voice came from and sees oikawa striding into the kitchen.

“you totally got her wrapped around your finger, don’t you?” oikawa states as iwaizumi chuckles.

“fuck yeah i do,” he brings his hand up for a handshake. “i can’t believe she fell for my ‘you’re different from other girls’ speech.”

“and i usually never go for freshmen since they’re always so damn annoying but y/n... she’s gonna be a fun one to play with.” he adds.

“you’re a real douchebag.” oikawa says as he downs the rest of whatever is in his cup before discarding it into the nearest trash can.

“hey, if i’m gonna move back to japan soon then might as well make the most of the time i have left here, right?” iwaizumi defends himself.

“spoken like a true jackass.” the chocolate-haired male snorts.

“whatever,” iwaizumi rolls his eyes as he runs a hand through his hair. “i’m leaving in less than a month and a half so i’ll hit it and quit it.”

“that phrase is so corny, why not ‘bust a load and hit the road’?” oikawa suggests.

“i am not having this conversation with you right now.” iwaizumi irks before walking out of the kitchen with a mopey oikawa hot on his trail.

“so rude!”

it’s been almost a week now since your encounter with iwaizumi and you have yet to see him around campus. well, it was inevitable as he was all the way on the other side of the school, but deep down you wished you could at least run into him during the course of your week.

you briefly remember reina giving you an earful once you got back to the dorms because you had explained to her the minute you two got back that you met iwaizumi hajime at the party and even met one of his friends.

“y/n, didn’t i tell you that you should stay away from that guy?”

“but he seemed like a really nice guy to me...” you started fiddling with your fingers.

“that’s what he wants you to think, y/n,” she takes a seat next to you on your bed and wraps an arm around your shoulder, patting it soothingly. “i just— you’re new here and from the moment you stepped foot in our dorm i knew immediately that you’re gonna live a successful life and the last thing i want happening is for some college playboy to break your heart and ruin your life.”

your heart couldn’t help but grow fuzzy at her words.

“trust me, if this were any other guy then i wouldn’t mind you talking to them, but hajime is notorious for breaking hearts and ruining lives,” she puts her arms behind her back and uses them to support her body as she leans back. “there was this girl back in my freshman year, half japanese half white, her name was kaori, and i’ve never cared to keep track of any of hajime’s flings but she was the most serious case.”

“hajime and her met the same way you and him did, at a party, and he chatted her up until she eventually gave into those pretty boy charms of his and they started going out. the first few weeks were fine and the entire campus was raving about how this was one of hajime’s longest standing relationships yet and they seemed to be at a good spot in their relationship. but it wasn’t until one day, photos of her nudes were plastered all over the entire school and someone in hajime’s friend group ratted him out and said that he was the one who started sending the photos. obviously the school found out but they couldn’t get enough evidence that hajime was the one who sent her nudes around but since they had to do something, they decided to suspend kaori instead for ‘distribution of explicit content’ and the whole school started flooding her dms with death throats and she was labeled ‘the whore of uci.’ i think she eventually got tired of everything because she disappeared from the school without a trace, like completely disappeared. all her socials were deleted and she deleted her number so no one could contact her at all.”

after reina finished the entire story, you were remembered speechless. sure iwaizumi was a bit on the flirtier side and didn’t hesitate to test the waters, but that didn’t mean that he was completely shameless and disrespected your boundaries. you had a gut feeling that underneath that tough facade of his was a boy who was a normal college student like everybody else and had a goal in mind that he wanted to achieve, but after hearing reina’s story you weren’t sure what to think anymore.

“that poor little thing, she was such a sweet girl and it’s such a shame that she just had to go and get involved with hajime. if she still went here then i’m sure you and her would’ve gotten along,” reina adds. “she kind of reminds me of you in a way, you have this innocence to you that can’t be replicated yet you actually have a spine unlike those girls that throw themselves at hajime. tsk, how shameless of them, throwing yourself at a boy who’s known for tossing girls to the side once he’s down with them.”

needless to say, after that long conversation you had with reina, you’ve started to become more wary of the boy, but an unknown force keeps pulling you back to him.

reina had invited you to another party this weekend and while you were a bit reluctant about accepting her invitation, you thought that this might be your chance at ever seeing iwaizumi again so with your one track mind, you accept her offer without a second thought which now leads you to present time.

you feel a wave of deja vu wash over you as sweater weather blasts from the speakers and you can feel the heavy bass shake up the entire house.

you and reina struggle to nagivate through the crowd all while trying to avoid the couples making out in order to get upstairs where her friends had texted her to meet and you’re glad you’ve gained enough confidence to give her the green light when she asked if you wanted to meet her friends because you’re not sure how much more your eardrums could take.

“it’s right here!” reina knocks on the door three times and just when she’s about to go in for the fourth knock, the door swings open, revealing an all too familiar chocolate-haired male.

“y/n!” he exclaims as he throws his arms around you and reina just barely manages to dodge his long arms.

“hey! you almost hit my fuckin’ face you douche!” she cries. “and who the hell are you? i’ve never seen you around before.”

“oikawa, you’re still here?” your voice is muffled by his chest and you have to muster up all of the strength you have to pry him off of you.

“baby, you’re gonna be seeing me around for a whole month!” you and reina give each other a blank stare.

“first of all, don’t call me baby,” you duck down and it proves successful in getting out of his hold. “and secondly, what are you doing here?”

oikawa pouts at the lack of contact but continues the conversation nonetheless.

“iwaizumi snuck me in again and i’m staying at his place for now so wherever he goes, i tag along,” he points behind him as you and reina peer inside the room. “so what are you guys here for?”

“well my friends told me to meet me here, but it seems like they’re fraternizing with the enemy.” reina scrunches her nose up in disgust and you catch a glimpse of iwaizumi with his arm wrapped around a blonde girl’s shoulder.

“well iwaizumi’s friends are friends of mine and since your friends are iwaizumi’s friends then you’re my friend as well!” oikawa proclaims as he throws his arms around both you and reina this time and pulls you guys in for a side hug.

“let’s head in!” he pulls you guys into the room, not forgetting to lock the door as it shuts behind him.

iwaizumi notices you and you give him a small smile before taking a seat next to reina, oikawa following suit as he sits next to you as well.

“hajime.” reina greets him with a curt nod.

“reina... nice to see you,” iwaizumi says briefly.

“so who’s up for a game of seven minutes of heaven?” the girl who’s in iwaizumi’s arms proposes.

“c’mon! seven minutes in heaven? really? we’re in college now, let’s do something a little more daring!” a boy with black hair shouts.

“fine, let’s play strip poker then!” you hear someone suggest.

all of the girls in the room groan.

“pervert, you just wanna play it so that you can see us in our undergarments.”

“isn’t that the point of the game though?”

“i don’t even know how to play poker.”

“is this your second time at a party?” oikawa leans in and whispers into your ear, not wanting to put all of the attention on your conversation.

“yeah, i wasn’t planning on going in the first place but reina managed to convince me.” you lied straight through your teeth, not wanting to spare the embarrassment of telling oikawa the real reason why you came to the party.

“oh really? what would have you done all by yourself on this fine friday night if you stayed back at the dorms by yourself then?” he questions.

“probably head to the cafe thats off campus and try their new milk bread,” you say bluntly.

“milk bread?” you turn your head a bit and see oikawa trying to stifle a laugh.

you slap his thigh which prompts him to yelp.

“what’s so funny idiot?”

“n-nothing! it’s just... i like milk bread too.”

“really?” your eyes sparkle and oikawa can’t stop the genuine smile that forces its way onto his face. “do you wanna come with me tomorrow to try it then? i was gonna ask reina but she’s going on a blind date or something tomorrow and i don’t wanna bother her.”

“sure, but why me?”

“well i don’t know anybody else here, and you’re technically like my friend right?”

“what makes you think we’re friends?” he says but quickly comes to the realization that it sounded a lot more heartless than he had intended it to.

“sorry that came off rude...” he sheepishly scratches his neck.

“no i get what you were trying to say, but i mean, i consider you my friend so isn’t that enough?”

“geez quit flirting you two!” reina groans as she pushes you and out of reflex, oikawa immediately latches onto your arms so that you don’t accidentally bump heads with him.

“we’re not flirting,” you roll your eyes before muttering a small ‘thank you’ to oikawa after he releases you. “i’m just inviting him out to that cafe that i’ve been telling you about since you’re too busy going on that blind date.”

“hey hey hey! you were to keep quiet about that y/n!” reina loudly whispers as everyone else in the room roars in laughter.

“oops! sorry reina!” you snicker behind your hand.

“oh you’re so gonna get it!” she tackles you onto the floor. “oikawa, hold her down!”

you feel an extra set of hands put your arms down as reina uses her legs to pin your legs down.

“w-wait! oikawa i thought we were friends! don’t—” your words are suddenly cut off and you begin to break into a fit of laughter as reina commences her tickle assault on you.

“f-f..fuck o— AHAHAHAHA..... FUCK OFF R-REINA!” you manage to say in between breaks.

after what feels like minutes of torture, reina finally lets up and you’re free from the shackles that is her and oikawa.

“you’re a traitor oikawa!” you cry as you sit back up, massaging your shoulders to release the tension that had built up in them within a span of 30 seconds.

the said male flat out ignores you though as he turns to face the rest of the group.

“any-who, who’s up for a game of spin the bottle?”

“that’s lame.” iwaizumi finally speaks up.

“you’re lame! don’t make me tell everyone what went down last friday when—” oikawa is about to continue his sentence when iwaizumi suddenly sends him a cold glare that shuts him up.

“scary!” oikawa wraps his arms around you for what seems to be the umpteenth time tonight. “save me y/n!”

you roll your eyes.

“you’re awfully touchy with someone who you’ve only known for a week yet only met twice,” you complain but don’t make an effort to shy away from his touch.

“but we’re friends right? you even said so yourself!” he smirks at the face you make when you come upon the realization that he’s used your own words against you.

“whatever, do what you like,” you mumble against his arms. “i seriously envy your ability to get along with people easily.”

iwaizumi lets out a low growl as he witnesses the scene in front of him unfold. he wasn’t going to let oikawa get to you first when he clearly had his sights set on you from the moment you stepped foot into that party last friday.

he was going to be the first man to make a move on you and what better way to do so than a game of spin the bottle?

“how about,” iwaizumi picks up the half-empty bottle of beer next to him as he downs the rest of the contents inside before placing it flat on the floor in the middle of the room. “a game of spin the bottle?”

“and you think seven minutes of heaven is lame?” oikawa scoffs. “didn’t lara jean play it in middle school in that one flashback in to all the boys i’ve loved before?”

“you watched to all the boys i've loved before?” you ask oikawa.

“hell yeah i did!” he grins. “iwaizumi told me it’s corny but can’t a guy love his chick flicks?”

“you’re so lame!” you giggle, even though you too had watched it.

“have you seen the second movie?” he asks as you two begin to go off-topic again.

“no i haven’t, i heard it was bad so i just never bothered to watch it.” you shrug.

“dude we should watch it together then!” he suggests.

“and if it’s bad then i’m gonna kick you out of my dorm.” you snort.

the black-haired male from earlier clears his throat which prompts you and oikawa to stop talking.

“first of all, oikawa, y/n, get a room, and secondly, let’s play spin the bottle!” he yells.

the first few minutes of the game were boring and the matchups were weird, to say the least: reina had to kiss the blonde girl (you found out her name was genevieve), the black-haired boy (kevin) had to kiss some girl who you recognized was from your seminar class, and then when it came to be oikawa’s turn, the bottle landed on him so he just ended up kissing himself through a mirror out of his own free will (trust me, no one there wanted to see that happen and no one could stop him even if they tried.)

there were about 12 people in the room, 13 including you, and out of everyone there the one person who you would definitely not want to kiss.

iwaizumi.

it wasn’t like you despised him or anything, but after hearing about him from reina along with the girl who had been sitting in his lap this entire night, you really did not want to deal with a target on your back and an enemy acquired within your first month of living in the states.

so when it came down to your turn, you were silently praying to the gods that it would land on anybody but iwaizumi— heck even oikawa would be a better option.

but it seems like lady luck had her smile turned away from you because as the bottle began to slow down, a symbol of your fate being sealed in this very room, it had landed on the one person you did not want it to land on at all.

“y/n, you have to kiss hajime!”

the whole room went silent.

“what?!” genevieve shrieks and the ringing in your ears lingers around for longer than you’d expected. “i am not letting some... freak! kiss hajime!”

“genevieve, y/n is not a freak,” reina defends you, oikawa following up with a ‘yeah! she’s not a freak!’ as well. “you literally just met her and you’re just mad you don’t get to kiss him.”

“and while i’m not too... happy with this either, rules are rules.” the brunette continues as she sends a disapproving look iwaizumi’s way.

“well, pucker up buttercup,” iwaizumi picks genevieve up off his lap and scoots over to you. “i’m about to make it up to you for last week.”

he leans in closer and you shut your eyes, preparing for whatever is about to come next.

his lips are soft in a way, and what’s supposed to be a quick smooch turns into a full-blown make-out session as he starts to deepen the kiss by holding you from the back of your head, tangling his hand within your hair, and tilting his head to the side for more leeway.

you try to push him away but it proves to little avail as the grip he has on your waist with his other arm is too strong. your hands mindlessly find purchase in his brown locks as his tongue swipes along your bottom lip, asking for entrance. at first, you’re hesitant, but when you open your eyes and you see him staring into your e/c orbs with that alluring look in them, you can’t help but part your lips just the tiniest amount as if to test the waters, but it proves to be more than enough room for iwaizumi to easily slip his tongue into your oral cavity, turning the kiss into battle for dominance.

he tastes like a mix of beer and mint, a strange combination but he makes it work somehow.

the hand he had on your waist trails further downwards and finds a resting spot on your thigh and you can’t help but let out a small moan at the way he starts to rub the sensitive part of your thigh as his hand inches dangerously closer and closer to your core.

it’s only when you start to hear whistling and the ‘get a room!’ comments that you remember that you’re still in the middle of a game of ‘spin the bottle’ and that there's an audience watching as you two shamelessly make out.

this doesn’t seem to faze iwaizumi, however, but the adrenaline in your body aids in your attempt to push him off of you and once you’re completely free from his grasp, you immediately make a beeline to anywhere else but this cursed room.

“y/n!” you hear oikawa and reina call after you but you would rather die than spend another minute in that godforsaken room— especially not after iwaizumi embarrassed you like that in front of everyone.

part one | part two | part three | part four

[yourwildsimp]

can i get 33 and 42 sorry if your request isn’t open anymore^ - ^

33. "What's wrong?" 42. "Would you just hold still?"

includes: levi, y/n

warnings: levi insults you (but he doesn't honestly mean it), probably inaccurate injury treatment (I am not a doctor-)

length: 3,110 words

summary: No one else seemed to notice; not his squad, not Hange, not even the Commander. But you did. You saw the way he avoided putting pressure on his ankle, the way his habits were quick to change. You weren't going to let the man torture himself any longer, come loose-spoken slanders or half-hearted struggles. And who knows? You might discover very interesting details about your elusive Captian.

A/N: I had a few ideas on where to take this, so I hope you like the one I chose. And yes! My requests are very much open! You can make your own request here for angst and here for fluff.

It had started with small hints, ones you hardly picked up on.

Levi had begun to clean the horse stables rather than train with his ODM gear. Even though you were concerned, you figured Humanity's Strongest Soldier wasn't exactly lacking in vertical maneuvering skill. Besides, everyone knew of the fondness Levi had for his horse.

But then he started leaving the mess hall last, too. He made sure every person was gone before slipping into a side hallway. It didn't matter if he was done eating before everyone else, or if he was even eating at all. You forced yourself to believe it was to reprimand whoever left the largest mess.

Yet the brightest red flag was when he stopped his nightly surveillance walks around the perimeter. Or so, that's what he called them.

On any other given night, Levi could be found circling the grounds. His head would be tilted up to view the starry sky, accentuating his sharp jawline. He'd tense and still at every nightly sound, mentally determining if there was a threat of any kind. (Not that you were watching him often enough to know every fine detail, of course.) You even once saw him startle when a bird suddenly flew from a nearby bush. It never happened again, but you had found it adorable.

So knowing that Levi was locked away in the library when he should be marveling at the full moon? It bothered you. A lot. Which is the exact reason you mustered up every bit of your courage to walk into the same room as him.

Cold eyes snapped up to the now opened door, and something foreign clouded his features. He looked back towards his book before you could decipher what the expression on his face was.

The air surrounding him felt stressed. Anxious, even.

You, stubborn as ever, pressed on into the small room, stalking right over to where he sat. Levi simply scoffed, closing his book and placing it face down.

"What do you want, Cadet?" he tsked, cutting features nearly intimidating you enough to leave.

"Captain, with all due respect, I want to know what's wrong."

His eyes narrowed, and you saw something from under the table move. You just now realized that his leg was previously resting on the flat part of another chair.

"Excuse me?" Levi held a dangerous tone. He wanted to scare you away, frighten you enough to stop questioning him. He was almost successful.

You took a deep breath, eyes drifting towards the book he was reading. Levi was quick to shield the description with his hand and forearm.

"You haven't been yourself recently," you started. Your gaze slowly navigated back to Levi's face, only to find a scowl tainting his lips.

"You don't know enough about me to understand-"

"You've stopped your hand-to-hand combat training, your gear training, and you've even stopped sitting in the treetops." He didn't like how you'd cut him off, but you weren't finished. "You don't leave the mess hall quickly anymore. You're now almost always the first one there, which is strange because you usually bring your food all the way to your office. You've even stopped your nightly walks, and you love those."

Your little rant left him closing his mouth from a forgotten attempt to speak. After a moment of collecting his thoughts, he simply said, "I don't go on walks. I make sure there are no outside threats because everyone else is too busy fiddling with the sticks up their asses to do it themselves."

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from giggling at his wording or mentioning the bird. You wanted to keep that incident to yourself.

"And I don't appreciate you stalking me," Levi added, his hand clenching and unclenching. You chose to ignore the false accusation to return your focus on the book. And you watched as Levi forced his hand to relax.

"What are you reading?"

"None of your damn business." The answer came as soon as the question left your lips.

The defiance in your eyes made him tilt his head to the side as you tenaciously pulled out a chair to sit down.

"I don't remember asking you to join me," Levi sneered, though oddly, it lacked his usual bite.

"I don't remember you giving my questions a proper answer," you said matter-of-factly.

The flicker of shock in his eyes was well worth the mini-heart attack you suffered right after the words left your lips. You also chose to believe you imagined the ghost of a smirk on his mouth.

You pressed on before he could talk you into leaving, "I want to know what you're reading, at the very least."

Levi leaned back in his chair, the book's description still covered. "I'm not required to tell you anything. This isn't an interrogation, Cadet."

"Would you answer my questions even if it was?" you scoffed, settling your hands down in your lap.

Levi gave a puff of air through his nose that could almost pass for a chuckle. "No, I wouldn't. You're as intimidating as a fly."

You grit your teeth together, balling your hands up. "Well, maybe I'm not trying to be intimidating! Maybe, just maybe, I'm simply concerned for you. Maybe you're scaring me because you love the moon and have stopped seeing it!" You weren't yelling, but you weren't exactly whispering either. "Maybe I just want to help someone I care about."

Levi held his breath and glanced away towards the open window before swallowing thickly. "That's a lot of 'maybes'," he murmured.

Nothing else was said. You worried about what he'd do because you backtalked him, but you were foolish enough not to care. Though, Levi now seemed absorbed in whatever was outside, fingertips tracing over the back of the book.

After another stressful heartbeat, he pushed the book in front of you, not saying a word. You blinked widened eyes at him and glanced at the book before looking back at him. Sure, you came here to help, but you really didn't expect him to let you.

"Thank you, Captain," you breathed, picking up the book and flipping it over.

Fixing Your Foot & Ankle Pain.

Levi could've laughed at the look on your face, and he watched you read over the title once more. "Great, can I have my book back now, officer?" he asked, dangerously close to sounding smug.

"Not yet." You ignored the sigh he gave. "Why didn't you just let me see it before? Is something wrong with your foot?"

He chewed the inside of his lip before offering a simple answer, "no."

"Then let me see."

"What?"

"I said let me see your foot, Captain. If you are hurt, then I can't have you pushing yourself. You'll make it worse," you said pointedly, pushing the book across the table from you.

"'I can't?'" he quoted. "Don't you mean the 'Corps can't'?"

You didn't answer him in favor of standing up and moving to the foot that was once resting on another chair.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he warned, stiffly moving his leg away from you.

"I'm just checking. It shouldn't be an issue because you're fine, right?"

Levi clenched his jaw, cracking a couple of his knuckles. He didn't pull away from you, nor did he hit you, which is a huge plus.

That is until you tried to get his boot off.

"Oi, don't take it off-"

"Then how am I supposed to look at it? I don't have X-Ray vision," you snapped, waiting for him to settle before you started taking it off again.

"This is stupid," he grumbled, looking up at the ceiling with his arms crossed.

"Yeah, it is stupid that I had to track you down to help you," you bitterly argued, neatly placing his boot aside. You then carefully rolled up his pants leg and took off his sock. Your eyes widened as you stared at how swollen Levi's ankle was. "Levi- are you serious? This is terrible!"

His withering scowl burned down at you, eyes narrowed and deadly at the use of his first name. You didn't seem to notice what you had called him, too worried over his ankle.

"Why didn't you tell me the truth when I had asked?" You didn't even know where to begin with this man.

"I did. My foot is fine."

"Fine? Your ankle is more inflated than the capital mens' egos, sir."

Your joke defanged the bite in his eyes but, despite how funny Levi found it, his only reaction was a huff. "Yeah, my ankle is puffed up. Not my foot, genius."

You glared at him coldly before you stood up, placing your hands on your hips. "Alright," you started, "stay here while I go get the splint and some ice."

"I don't need it."

"You have a second-degree sprain, Captain. You should've iced it as soon as you could. But you didn't. So, now I'm going to take care of you since you can't be bothered to care for yourself," you scolded.

Well then. Excuse me, Levi sarcastically thought, watching you leave after another demand for him not to go anywhere.

While you were gone, he decided to ignore your orders and put the book away. He swallowed a grunt when he sat down again, glancing at the door in case you were there.

As the minutes ticked by, he huffed like an impatient child, his nails scratching and toying with the wood of the table. When you had finally came back, he halfheartedly greeted you with a groan.

"You took too long. Did you take a shit?" Levi grumbled bluntly, leaning his head back as he looked at you.

He nearly grinned as the items you took your precious time to grab poured out of your arms just before you answered. You picked up a few rogue bandages, and Levi glanced away when you looked up.

"If clumsiness was a currency, you'd be as rich as the king," Levi scoffed.

"And if being secretive little gnome was a job, you'd be the CEO of the company," you fired back as you placed the medical things on the table. He tsked, muttering something you didn't quite understand before sitting up in his seat.

"I thought all you needed was some ice and a splint. Why the hell did you grab an entire hospital's supply?"

"Well, Captain, who knows what else you didn't tell anyone about. For all I know, you have fractured ribs, too. Maybe a few fresh gashes that you hardly cleaned up." You gave him such a persistent look that he couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," he huffed, carefully tracking you as you rounded the table to tend his ankle.

"That's another thing I've noticed! You don't sleep, and when you do, it's not even in your-" you cut yourself off. The look that crossed your face reminded Levi of the expression Erwin has whenever a cadet asks something stupid. "Where's the book?'

"Why? Can't help me without it?" he challenged.

"It's not that, it's just..." You trailed off, not saying anything for a second or two. "Did you put it up? I specifically told you not to move."

"And I specifically ignored you," he shot back, watching your nose flare when you huffed.

"You know what? Fine. Just be quiet and give me your ankle." Levi was caught off guard by the growl in your voice.

He scowled but didn't speak a word as you started treating his ankle.

It was quiet. Despite the untouched hostility in the air, it was almost peaceful. Until Levi ruined it. Again.

"How do you know I don't sleep in my bed? Are you smelling my blankets while I'm out of them?"

Your shoulders sagged with how heavy your sigh was.

"No, I don't sneak into the guys' sleeping quarters to roll in your sheets, Captain." The thought would be nice to indulge on later, though. "I just know that you often fall asleep at your desk. That's bad for your bones structure, sir. You'll cramp more often, disfigure your stature, develop an asymmetric-"

"And you, Cadet? How's your sleep cycle, huh?" he cut you off, seeing the newfound tightness in your jaw. "Scolding me while you're struggling to stay conscious at the eating tables. Seems real hypocritical, doesn't it?"

You didn't respond. You couldn't; he was right. The bastard typically was.

"I'm done treating your ankle," you began softly, each of your fingers messaging your palms. "You have to stay off of it, sir. If you keep pushing yourself, you'll end up not being able to walk."

There was a pause in the air, your breath hanging like abandoned ODM gear. Levi picked up on the temporarily unspoken words, so he tapped his middle finger on the table and waited.

"As strange as this sounds..."

That's not a good way to start a sentence, Levi thought.

"I need you to take off your shirt. Sir."

Levi dismissed what you have just boldly said to his face with a light scoff. After your silence lingered for a beat too long, Levi shifted his jaw. "You're serious?"

"I just need to check your upper body for damage," you added gently.

Levi tsked, "I don't fucking see why."

Before you could argue any further, he was already tugging off the long-sleeved grey shirt. You cleared your throat and glanced at the surrounding bookshelves, suddenly absorbed with the task of finding the book Levi had put away.

With a thick swallow, you looked back at him, avoiding his eyes like a plague. He watched your brows furrow as you looked closer.

"What's this from?" you asked, letting your thumb trace underneath a fresh slice in between his ribs. He jerked away from you with a snarl, and you glared at him.

"A branch from the last mission caught me," he grumbled, eyeing your hand that was now hovering over his skin.

"Let me guess, you didn't say anything to anyone?"

"Look at you using that empty head of yours."

You rubbed the bridge of your nose with your offhand before grabbing everything you needed; cleansing alcohol, tweezers, a cotton ball, and smaller bandages. For whatever reason, Levi was more defensive about you tending to his ribs than his ankle.

"Oi, I'm fine. You've done plenty, now get lost," he sneered, fingers twitching as you held the cotton ball with the tweezers and soaked it in alcohol.

"Captin, let me just do this and you can move on to stargazing, okay?" you asked halfheartedly. You didn't get a response other than vulgarities.

You started cleaning his previously hidden injury. Well, trying to, at the very least.

"Would you just hold still?" you snapped. He kept jerking and twisting away for your healing hands. "This is taking longer than it should because of you."

You pressed under the wound and in between his ribs to test how tender it was. Levi made a noise so out of place that both of you had paused.

Did he just..?

You looked up at him, holding your breath. He wouldn't look at you, eyes burning holes into the library door.

"Sir, are you-"

"No."

You were probably out of line for doing so, but you pressed around his ribs again in hopes of proving your suspicions. And it turns out you were right.

Levi strangled out a laugh that was clearly meant to be held in. It sounded like heaven on earth. Deep and smooth as butter as you continued to torture his ribs. A smile slowly blossomed on your face.

It didn't last long, Levi swatting your hands away so he could catch his breath, now defending the spot with his life.

"You damned brat," he panted, eyeing you from the corner of his eye.

"I didn't think you could be ticklish," you grinned wickedly as you grabbed the bandages. "That is... Incredible," you snickered to yourself, unwrapping the length that you needed. You tapped his wrist that was blocking his ribs with your middle and index finger, looking at him expectantly.

"If you even try to do that again, I will wrap those bandages around your throat," he threatened. It didn't really sound like he'd carry it out, but you weren't about to test your luck.

You watched as his entire torso tensed, and you as gently as possible wrapped up his cut. Levi relaxed only when you sat back on your heels and began to put everything away.

It was quiet once again, and you felt Levi watch you as you cleaned up your mess. Only once everything was scooped into your arms, you stepped away from him.

Hesitation hung in the air as you both thought of what you should say. You cleared your throat with a grin before walking towards the bookshelves. "Want any reading material while we wait, Captain?" you asked, looking for your own book.

"Wait for what?" he asked skeptically.

"Until the time comes for me to change your bandages," you hummed. You were too busy reading the back of the book you'd picked up for yourself to see how Levi shook his head.

"Fucking hell," he sighed, getting comfortable as he looked out the window. "I don't need a book, Cadet. Sit down already."

You stopped, blinking to yourself as you replayed what he just said in your head. He just invited you to join him. You smiled at the thought, grabbing a book that caught your attention. You practically floated to the seat across from Levi and made yourself at home.

You two stayed like this for a while- Levi being enthralled with the moon, and you caught up in your book. You were too busy reading to notice how he'd look at you now and then.

The time to change his bandages came and went without either of you moving. It was almost, dare you to say, domestic. It wasn't until Levi heard small snores that he carefully stood up.

He looked down at your sleeping face, something uncomfortably sweet bubbling in his chest before he fixed your hair. He stared at you for a minute, just watching the way your chest rose and fell as you breathed.

"Damned brat," he mumbled quietly. Nimble fingers gently peeled the book from you, and he limped as he put it where you got it from. Levi sighed softly, glancing longingly at the window sill. He internally debated on a few things before returning to the table.

Though this time, he sat next to your sleeping frame.

[vickyvicarious]

do u have any atla fic recs? all time faves? can be shippy or not

Fun fact, I am incapable of holding back on reclists. In other words: brace yourself, anon. There’s a reason I put most of this behind a cut.

First off, these are almost all Zuko-centric, because I shamelessly play favorites. I’ll sort them by author rec, gen, shippy, and then by other characters because honestly the numbers break down well that way. Within those categories it’ll be more just as I think of it, so no special meaning to the order. I’m not always good about bookmarking even my faves, so some excellent stuff will no doubt be missing, especially since I haven’t read a lot of the more recent stuff yet/forgot some really old stuff, but this will definitely still give you plenty of fic to enjoy.

There’s a good number of FFN links on here so apologies to people who dislike it, but a lot of great stuff is still on there so give it a chance.

Author recs

Everything by @awesomeavocadolove​​  Such hits as Another Brother (Zuko adopted by Hakoda pre-S1), and currently has a Zukka soulmate fic I’ve been meaning to start reading, as well as Unchained Melody, one of my favorite Zukka fics ever. Always quality, you can’t go wrong.

Everything by KimberlyT.  I do not kid. She’s written a variety of ATLA fic ranging from Zutara/other romance to gen, seriously emotional to cracky cabbagebending. I think my favorite is probably Mismatched (S1 Zuko adopts a baby) but honestly just go read it all.

Everything by @emletish-fish​​. She has a very fun writing style and honestly her end-of-chapter notes on why she’s made the choices she has are fun minimetas worthwhile in their own right. Some of her top fics are the Stalking Zuko series (S3 suspicious Katara to Zutara) and The Worst Prisoner (the Gaang kidnaps Zuko in S1 and can’t get rid of him). I think there’s still a good amount of her fic that can only be found on FFN so check there too.

Everything by @botherkupo​​. Especially her Undying Fire series (healer!Zuko) but also just literally everything she writes, it is all so great. Tends toward Zutara but strong gen fics as well sometimes and a lot of fun. Check it all out!

Everything by @muffinlance​​. Loves to toy with her readers’ emotions in the best of ways. Tons of fantastic gen Zuko-centric AUs, I have adored every single fic I’ve ever read by her, can’t praise them enough. Very productive as well, her tumblr is a hub for the ATLA renaissance and her fics inspire lots of others. Has also organized a fanmade ATLA coloring book for charity so get that once it’s out. In the meantime read everything she’s written.

Everything by Haicrescendo. My favorite is What We’re Given (the series where Zuko finds more air bisons and raises them), but there’s a lot of good Zukka fic too. I tend to steer away from explicit works in this fandom unless it’s a smaller part of a much longer plot-centric fic, so there are a number I haven’t read, but I really like the Pokemon!AU Zukka.

Everything by @gaycinema. I really love the EK fight club series (Zuko fights in Rumbles/etc.) but all of it is a good read. Some Jetko, mostly a lot of introspective or emotional oneshots. Which isn’t really a great depiction of how good they tend to be, you’ll just have to read them and find out. You won’t regret it, trust me.

Everything by @captainkirkk. So far eight stellar fics, starting with kind Fire Lord Zuko and ranging to Floating Tea Shop!Zuko who doesn’t want to hunt the Avatar. I love her style and have laughed out loud at multiple of these. 

Gen Zuko fic

Bringing Out the Blue by maguena1. [unfinished, long] Definitely worth the read. The first ATLA fic I ever got really sucked into. The Blue Spirit never gets knocked out so Aang doesn’t know his true identity; he joins the Gaang on a recurring basis, while Zuko attempts to tell himself this is only for information on how to catch them, they definitely aren’t his friends.

It’s Impossible by Sandra Phillips. [abandoned, long] One of the earliest Avatar!Zuko fics (sort of) and a really interesting take on some spirit stuff.

Embers by Vathara. [complete, long] A landmark fic in the fandom, and for good reason. I didn’t love everything about this fic, but it is very well-written and an absorbing read certainly worth the praise. 

the art of description by incandescens. [oneshot, short] Five descriptions of Zuko and Toph’s field trip from various perspectives. Short, sweet, and funny.

Breaking Point by Kryal. [oneshot, short] Zuko isn’t banished but instead sent to serve in the Home Guard. I love Zuko loving his people, and alternate canon explorations, and this is exactly that.

The Alternative by Lunatique. [oneshot, short] The reason Zuko is so determined is because he fears what will happen if he isn’t the next Fire Lord. An idea I support in canon, to a degree, written well.

Hands and Knees by gigerisgod. [oneshot, short] Zuko reflects on the choices he’s made, and experiences he’s had, when joining the Gaang. A nice introspective fic.

Relative Misery by peroxidepest17. [oneshot, short] Toph complains about her family and Zuko takes her on a field trip. Not a fic I take too seriously, but funny in a sad way.

Second Nature by lazyartisan. [possibly abandoned, long] An AU stemming from Zuko’s capture at the North Pole. Well-written and characterized, an old favorite that I actually find needing to reread to give you more detail, but I can promise it’s good.

Year One by peroxidepest17. [oneshot, short] Lessons Zuko learns in his first year being Fire Lord. I really like explorations of Zuko’s journey as Fire Lord and this is a lovely little window into that.

Soft by PenPistola. [oneshot, short] Zuko and Toph bonding after the Ember Island Players. Short and sweet.

The New Phoenix King by JoeMerl. [oneshot, short] Fire Lord Zuko is overthrown, and no one but him is bothered at all. In fact they help. Hilarious crack.

First Name Basis by JoeMerl. [oneshot, short] There’s some popular posts going around Tumblr lately about Zuko not knowing the Gaang’s names, but this fic did it first back in 2008. As amusing as you’d expect.

Male Bonding by glamaphonic. [oneshot, short] The original ‘Zuko and Sokka bond and are also dumb idiot boys’ fic. Katara is permanently rolling her eyes.

it’s not the waking, it’s the rising by isamagicdragon, thegracious [ongoing, series, medium] Azulon tells Ozai to kill Azula instead of Zuko, which leads to heartwrenching fire sibs adventure. I haven’t caught up on the last chapter yet but god is it fantastic and also just a really interesting and new perspective on what could have happened.

Doe-Eyed by Anonymous. [complete, medium] Zuko is a baby, Azula is a loving big sister. More fire sibs and a great exploration on Azula’s POV of turning against Ozai.

kintsugi by discordiansamba. [ongoing, series, long] Zuko doesn’t have Iroh after being banished, and winds up hired as a guard to protect the frail Beifong daughter. Fantastic preseries Zuko+Toph found family fic.

Legacies by WildInkling. [ongoing, medium] Far in the future, a historian studies the journal of Fire Lord Zuko. Also, he was secretly a famous author but no one knows. A funny and poignant outsider POV.

#UndercoverZuko series by naggeluide. [complete, series, short] A completely cracky concept written straight enough to be actually quite touching in parts, but also just really funny. Zuko goes Undercover Boss on his ship pre-series.

Avatar Ficlets by JaggedCliffs. [series, oneshots, short] An ongoing series of disconnected oneshots, mostly post-canon and mostly Zuko-centric. Some a pretty fun, one is a great view on Zuko and lightningbending, all worth the read (and follow for when more come out).

The Blind Leading the Blue by BrusselsSprout. [ongoing, medium] An epic Zuko and Toph field trip set in S2. I love them and this.

half in the shadows, half burned in flames by r_astra. [oneshot, short] Iroh dies, Zuko gets caught on the Day of Black Sun, everything ends up all right but damn does it hurt getting there.

A Tale of Earth and Fire by chiiyo86. [complete, medium] Zuko and Toph are married for Politics in a FN Wins AU, and follows them slowly bonding as friends to beginning a revolution. They’re married but it’s not romantic, just some good friendship.

Eight Principles of Yong by psocoptera. [oneshot, short] An exploration of immediate post-show FN politics (sort of), calligraphy, and Zuko. Also has some lovely non-fighting firebending; I always love when people explore other uses of bending.

Healing Properties of Cinder Sage by Dawen. [oneshot, short] Zuko gets very sick in the Western Air Temple. Some good interaction when he’s new to the Gaang, and Toph+Zuko friendship.

We Ourselves Must Walk The Path by WinterSky101. [complete, medium] The Gaang agrees to make Zuko their prisoner in the WAT. Speaking of new-to-the-Gaang, tension, this fic has plenty of it, and also features some good Toph and Zuko.

Frozen by Aris Merquoni. [oneshot, medium] Zuko is captured in the NWT. Some politics, lots of angst, and eventually, healing. Also actually makes me somewhat like Hahn? Incredibly enough.

Reluctant Hero by PAW_07. [ongoing, long] Avatar!Zuko fic. I got to beta it way back when for a little while before I got too busy, and have always been a huge fan of this fic. Great concept, one of the best executions of it I’ve seen, and also one of the first. Definitely read this.

Morality Chain by Pureauthor. [abandoned, long] Azula and Zuko were always on each other’s side; how this changes canon. I love this concept and would happily read a lot more fics with it (please guys, I need more fire sibs).

A viper-lizard’s tales series by Yumi_Take. [ongoing, long] The world needs more of Zuko adopting pets and small children, and those are just facts. This only has one of the two, but it’s a EK baby! Jet plays a big role in this fic as well, a weird kind of uncle-ish to the baby/friend/murderer Zuko needs to watch closely and hold back kind of thing.

(life happens) wherever you are by howlikeagod. [ongoing, long] Katara doesn’t find Zuko and Iroh in the teashop, and canon takes a sharp left turn. Excellent Gaang fic.

The Best Path series by EudociaCovert. [series, ongoing, long] Zuko meets Jet in ‘Zuko Alone’ and winds up getting claimed as theirs by the remaining Freedom Fighters. Really really well-written, I got quite emotional over some scenes.

Shippy Zuko fic

Balm by Thyme In Her Eyes. [Maiko, oneshot, short] A sweet little fic about Mai’s thoughts on Zuko’s lightning scar.

The Black Games by Mrs. Pettyfer. [Zutara, complete, long] Hunger Games-esque AU. It’s the first in a series, and I lost interest after this one but I remember enjoying the fic and it was more personal preference rather than a drop in quality that had me leaving.

Lie To Me by Inkcharm. [Toko, oneshot, short] I’m not actually a fan of this pairing romatically (at least until years down the line), but this little fic of Toph and Zuko bonding through lying to one another is sweet. I choose to ignore the more shippy parts and enjoyed it.

Zutara? What the heck is that? by Ryxl. [Zutara, oneshot, short] Complete crack, have a good sense of humor and I think you will enjoy. Just the mental image of the Gaang finding a Zutara propaganda flyer had me chuckling.

The Three Chores series (1, 2, 3) by Fandomme. [Zutara, threeshot, short] Zuko and Katara slowly bond as he helps with chores. I will admit it’s been years and I barely remember this, but what I do recall is lovely and I always appreciate people lightening Katara’s load.

read the inscription by suzukiblu. [Zuko/Song, complete, series, medium] When Zuko is banished, he is left alone in the Earth Kingdom to fend for himself. Very touching, and I love Song in this.

Hooked by TGP. [Jetko, complete, long] A classic ‘Jet didn’t see Iroh warming his tea’ fic. They’re almost all this premise but so many well-written and very long ones. 

Something To Hold Onto by Wildgoosery. [Jetko, complete, long] The EK fell and Li stayed to fight with the Freedom Fighters to protect the city during its foreign rule. Jet didn’t see the tea fic that goes very AU from canon.

Foxfire by Rahar_Moonfire. [Jetko, ongoing, long] Zuko loses his memories Jetko fic, but with heavy spirit influence and lovable EK OCs, both of which I adore and should be in far more fics.

Once Upon A Teashop by anaer. [Zukka, Jetko, ongoing, long] Cracky Ba Sing Se AU that gets gradually more and more serious. Jet hits on Zuko a lot and Sokka gets a job in the teashop to keep an eye on both of them. Endgame Zukka but heavy Jetko, and both pairings are handled pretty well, not a love triangle that makes me too mad, although as always bear in mind Jet’s messed up. 

Names by TGP. [Jetko, complete, long] I feel like I’m forgetting some more excellent Amnesia!Zuko fics, but this is one I do know of. To be honest I don’t remember it super well because it may be mixed up with other Jetko/amnesia fics in my mind, but I think it was really good. I’ll have to reread myself.

Epistles by Lady_of_the_Flowers. [Zukka, ongoing, long] I love epistolary fic and I love Zuko and Sokka bonding earlier in canon. I will be honest I haven’t read this in a long time and been updating all the while, but the premise alone (Zuko and Sokka become messenger-hawk-pals in S1 and then fall in love) is fantastic. 

Ozymandias, King of Kings by Think_of_a_Wonderful_Thought. [Zukka, ongoing, long] Zuko rebels earlier and actually is sent to the mines, until he is ‘rescued’ by the Water Tribe. Dark but getting lighter over time, and more reluctant-to-rule Zuko which always wrenches my heartstrings. I prefer super loyal and dutiful to his people Zuko but this trope always makes me feel things.

Crossovers

Fallen Drops of Fire by Chasmfiend. [Fullmetal Alchemist, ongoing] Young Azula and Zuko somehow appear in Amestris, and encounter Roy Mustang. I adore the fire sibs, and their relationship in this strange situation is the star of this fic for me, but it’s also fun seeing the FMA perspective of these two.

The Dragon-King’s Temple by Kryal. [Stargate SG-1, long, complete] The best crossover fic out there. Zuko and Toph get stranded on the other side of a Stargate. I don’t know anything about SG-1 but it didn’t matter, the fic was fantastic, they were badasses, it explored language and culture from an outside perspective, and it was just a ton of fun. Must-read.

Other character fic

Loyalty by Julia451. [oneshot, short] The ship captain didn’t misspeak when he called Iroh and Zuko “prisoners” in the start of S2. A lovely look at a nameless character, giving depth to a small moment and humanity to a FN soldier which I always love.

The Only One by HarlowR. [oneshot, short] An excellent exploration of Azula’s mindset regarding Zuko, her desperate need to be loved and jealousy of him matching his own. I think Azula was one of the greatest tragedies of the show, and this fic makes me feel it.

Blood by theAsh0. [oneshot, short] Katara-centric thinkpiece on bloodbending and healing. Dark but really interesting.

Touch and Go by Cadence. [oneshot, short] After Iroh’s struck by lightning, Toph doesn’t let Zuko drive them all away. A momentary alliance and the seeds of friendship. More Toph-focused but still heavy on the whole Gaang.

Shortcomings by Menamebephil. [oneshot, short] Iroh thoughts during his imprisonment, on the theme of mistakes. I love this man and don’t understand why I am so drawn to fic about him that makes me sad.

Watch And Review, Please by Becca Stareyes. [oneshot, short] The Ember Island Players receive some constructive criticism... sort of. Funny and quick.

Azula Redemption Trilogy (1, 2, 3) by Mistress of Sarcasm. [threeshot, short] Second person and deeply introspective, three short little fics delving into Azula’s head and bringing her closer to redemption.

Echoing Refrains by catie_writes_things. [oneshot, short] I really like nuanced explorations of the whole FN royal family. It’s perfectly fine to write Ozai as pure evil bastard, but exploring  what might have been or how he got there, or even as in this fic his talent for music being inherited by Zuko is really interesting too. Iroh-centric.

our curse by ohmygodwhy, and the last dragon by thesometimeswarrior. [twoshot, complete, short] Stay away if you don’t like to cry. In the first Zuko learns Ozai is executing Iroh, and isn’t able to stop it; the second is even worse because it’s Iroh’s POV. I put this in the other characters section because honestly I adore the second fic even more than the first, but they are both fantastically written and will hurt you a very great deal.

Finally, I’m not quite bold enough to put my own fic on a reclist, but just shameless enough to mention I’ve written a few Avatar fics I quite like if anyone feels the desire to check them out on my AO3. ;) But seriously give love to all the rest of these, they deserve it. (And as I said, there’s lots more excellent stuff, this fandom is so prolific and well-written!)

[csykora]

A thought about meaningful change

I don’t want to distract from the most recent thing Benn did. I’m going to be talking about several different things, and some might seem smaller than others: I know. I’m not saying that the newest thing isn’t important enough on its own or that everything’s on the same level. But I think patterns can be useful.

(I have also made myself sick with nerves a couple times so I’m posting this as is: sorry for typos, and while I’ll stand behind my ideas there may be some sentences that are a little long or awkwardly worded).

Back in 2015, Jame Benn and Tyler Seguin were doing a radio interview.

Some of you might be thinking, “You want to talk about THIS, AGAIN?” Yes. More of you are probably thinking, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Yeah, that’s what I want to talk about.

cw for discussions of sexual harassment, incest, homophobia, bullying, misogyny and transmisogyny, transphobia

So during this interview, one of the radio hosts asked Benn if he and his brother were ever road roommates. Benn said no, and the host commented that Henrik and Daniel Sedin probably roomed together.

“Well yeah…that’s the Sedins,” Seguin said.

“Who knows what else they do together?" Benn said. Everyone laughed.

“Seriously,” Seguin said.

"Dude, it's creepy," the radio hosts said, "In fact, it's a good example to future brothers in the NHL on how not to do things." Then they reassured Benn, “In no way am I implying that you have a Sedin-type vibe going about you.”

Benn and Seguin laughed. The conversation continued, calling the Sedins creepy for wearing similar facial hair, leaving nearby and spending too much time together.

When asked pointblank, “Are the Sedins weird?” Benn answered, “I don’t know. I can’t say.”

To finish the sentence he didn’t: he was implying that the Sedin brothers fuck each other.

Now, these were shock jockeys. They were almost certainly hoping Benn and Seguin would say something homophobic. That said, even shock jockeys pre-screen an interview. They’re not going to invite just anyone on the air and try this with them, because all it takes is someone saying, “I don’t know what you mean,” or “No, I actually respect Dan and Henke a lot as my colleagues” to ruin that set up. If a shock jockey thinks you’re a mark, you’ve probably said something off-air that made them think you’re a mark. And if they dug a pit in front of him, Benn is still the one who decided to stick his dick in it and make things overtly sexual.

After, the Stars stated that Benn had “reached out” the Sedins to apologize. Seguin did not reach out but was “included” in whatever Benn wrote or said. Neither of them gave a public explanation or apology. As far as I can tell the Sedins never commented on whether they received that message, what sort of apology it was, or whether they accepted it. Henrik Sedin’s only comment was, “I think it says more about them than it does about us.”

Ways that homophobia is working here:

-the idea that two men having any degree of physical or emotional closeness, even family members, is suspicious.

-Benn roomed with his brother. Course he did. The hosts spell out what he was afraid of: that the other men in the room might think he had the wrong vibe. He was so afraid of them thinking he had unmanly vulnerabilities like liking his own brother that he misrepresented the situation and pushed someone else forward.

-the idea that a man having any relationship to another man’s physical body or appearance, is suspicious.

Dressing or looking too similar to another man—which means you’ve paid attention to how another man’s body looks in order to copy him, like you’re trying to take ownership of his body, which = fucking him—is a really common accusation. Gay men are seen as lusting after and trying to copy other men’s real masculinity for themselves (but of course never quite succeeding). A man thinking that another man who he knows or suspects to be gay looks too similar to him, and so must have been watching and ‘copying’ him, is a common spark for homophobic attacks.

-the idea that any of this could have been a joke depends on the idea that two men having sex is wacky and unrealistic. Imagine if that happened, wouldn’t that be weird.

Now, someone might say, “It’s not that gay sex is wacky, it’s that the incest that is!” First, incest accounts for a lot of childhood sexual abuse, so I wouldn’t say it’s wacky either. And while it’s true that people can say awful things to different gender twins as well out of a combination of gender prejudices, in this case there were also homophobic ideas about men and masculinity at play.

Ways that power is working here:

-People forgot this fast. It was treated as settled because the Stars said it was settled. People gave “kudos” to Benn “doing the right thing” afterward, or for seeming to realize what was happening and not saying yes to the final question.

 I would argue that “I don’t know, I can’t say” is somehow a worse answer to a yes-or-no question, because it means that either you want to say yes but you’re scared of the consequences, or you sincerely don’t know what to say. All he had to do was say “No.” After he said “I don’t know,” Seguin continued and said, “They are weird.” If Benn had said, “No, actually they’ve been professional when I’ve worked with them and I won’t comment any more on their personal life,” Sequin might have noticed, and Benn might have encouraged him to change his behavior. Not saying “no” was a direct, demonstrable failure to show any kind of leadership.

-This counts as workplace sexual harassment. I’m not saying a case should have been pursued: that should have been at least partly up to the Sedins (although there should also be workplace rules about what is and isn’t acceptable without the victims having to ask for it). But that’s a word we can use for this, this could have been counted as that. Sexual harassment are actions based on a person’s gender, assigned sex, sexual activity, or other qualities related to sex, not just sexual attraction. I worry that often, conflicted feelings about putting people into the category of “Sexual Harasser” lead people to think that actions “aren’t bad enough” to be sexual harassment when they definitionally can be. In other lines of work, if you talk about your coworkers fucking their twins in the office, there are rules about that: at the very least, you’ll be getting a bunch of trainings and be moved to a part of the office where you won’t see them again.

In the NHL, it seems frighteningly clear that people don’t have recourse for sexual harassment. This was discussed and handled as a “childish insult”, not harassment against two coworkers/employees. Often, there’s a logic that something is just an insult, not a ‘real’ threat, because the person who did it couldn’t possibly be sexually attracted to the person they did it to.

-In 2015 Eric and Jordan Staal were living in identical houses outside Raleigh and ‘playing’ together every night. Seems super suspicious. Unless beefy Canadian boys’ behavior is normal, and European masculinity always has to be questioned as being softer-spoken, slimmer, more intellectual, scared of heavy hitting. There are a lot of reasons you might not call Eric Staal gay—maybe you know he’s bigger than you, more successful on Team Canada than you, more popular with the other Team Canada guys than you. Or maybe you just don’t look at him and think he could be gay. Or both. Eric is positioned so you’d have to punch up at him: Benn tried to position himself closer to that kind of social standing, by pushing someone else who already doesn’t quite fit in further out. This isn’t directly in the words, so I’m not all-out accusing them of xenophobia: what I mean is that it’s always worth asking if and how and why feminization is applied to Those Other People.

There’s the eating out thing. Which he sent to teammate Jason Demers, commenting “I feel like your (sic) the kind of guy who would”.

How misogyny is working here:

-the idea that this could have been funny or interesting or worth saying at all depends on the idea that vulvas are weird. Imagine if someone willing touched a cis woman with anything but their dick. Gosh.

-There’s no good explanation for what ‘the kind of guy who would’ was meant to mean. No one says, ‘Hey, do you do this widely mocked sex act? I don’t, but I think you would, and that’s cool and doesn’t affect your masculinity at all, bro, life is a rich tapestry.’

How power is working here:

-This counts as sexual harassment again. Even if asking a coworker (or really more like someone you shift-manage or who reports to you) ‘how do you fuck your partner?’ wasn’t, saying ‘you seem like you would do ___’ is. Again, I’m not saying that Demers has to feel that way about it, but he should have had options.

-Demers was also in a new relationship at the time, so this could be harassment to both him and his partner, who had no recourse when someone her partner has to work with/for comments on her body.

-I don’t think it was intended as sexual harassment. But there’s not really a nice explanation of what he meant to say. It seems like it was intended as an insult or a ‘warning’: ‘this is the way men are allowed and no allowed to be in our group, do you know your place?’

Around that time, the Stars shared a video of Benn, Seguin, and Valeri Nichushkin. Each were supposed to say a couple lines, including their name. Valeri pronounced his nickname ‘Vall’, with a native Russian accent, more like “Wall” in English. Each time Benn and Seguin laughed and questions him and the producer cut. After a couple takes Benn said, “I thought your name was ‘Val.’” 

Sequin physically turned away from Nichushkin and laughed. Nichushkin, not understanding the comment, and not laughing, turned to Benn for an explanation, but Benn only turned toward Seguin, both continuing to laugh.

It was part of a pattern of comments from observers: “If Tyler Seguin and Jamie Benn are having a laugh in the locker room, Nichushkin can only guess what’s so funny.” They themselves commented on how “His English is really not good at all…A lot of times we find him just sitting there.” “(In) normal conversations, he doesn’t really know what’s going on.”

I’ll give them credit—they said they felt pity and “try to help” too. I just can’t find any examples of them doing it, compared to teammates like Sharp or Spezza who can more concretely describe spending time with him.

Nichushkin chose to burn contract time in the KHL rather than Dallas before being bought out, expressing that he no longer felt like he “belonged in the NHL.” He felt that the Stars didn’t “trust” in him, was “nervous” in the locker room, and said his family worried for his mental health because of the culture.

“There is a bit of it because I want to be part of the conversation when someone says something,” Nichushkin said. “But I don’t have enough words I know so I can join in.”

-Is it the worst xenophobia in the world? Nah. It’s not free from xenophobia, when the only joke is that someone speaks differently than you. It’s not Benn joking about his own misunderstanding to invite Nichushkin in. I often point to Tripp Tracy, who asks players to teach him words in their language and then sets up jokes about his accent so they can deliver the punchline and laugh with him.

-Is it bullying? It kind of came off like it, to make a joke about someone you know can’t understand. At least it was unnecessary, and unkind. It’s just reminding someone they don’t belong.

-It’s unimpressive. It’s deflecting. Oh, he doesn’t know what’s going on? What did you do to tell to him? My family communicate through a mix of finger-signing, Scrabble tiles, and interpretive dance: I guarantee you, if you can’t communicate concepts like “we’re going to get dinner now, you’re welcome here, we’re having fun!”, you’re not trying. Which is fine, I guess, you don’t have to talk to people, unless it’s like, your job to work with your teammates.

Wanting to ban trans*feminine athletes from competition is based on a complete misunderstanding of math, medicine, and athletics; it’s unnecessary, unethical, and unkind.

It’s an unsurprising continuation of the ideas that there’s a line between men and women and transgressing it is suspicious, that women are gross, that people who are different are shocking and funny, that social pressure can and should be used to remind people who are different that they don’t belong.

It’s a fascist use of power, which I don’t say to mean that “He is A Fascist in every sense,” but that those beliesf express a desire and a comfort with using power to control other people’s bodies, and which bodies have access to certain spaces, to maintain “purity”.

I’m not saying that anyone should have looked at any of these things and easily decided in that moment, “That’s it, he’s shouldn’t have a platform or power over other players, he’s irredeemable.” You might look at a couple of them and think, “That’s not even a problem at all.” I’ll agree to disagree on some of them, but my point is about a pattern of how this dude uses the power he’s given.

I have a phrase, or more a series of words I sometimes yell when I’m talking about subjects like this—“STRUCK A TIM HORTONS.” I shout this in commemoration of the time that Ryan O’Reilly got drunk and drove his pickup into the wall of a small town Ontario Timmies.

“Struck a Tim Hortons” is a very good phrase to read in a police report. And, also, I’m an ACoA. I’ve experienced impaired driving, I’m terrified to shaking of it, and I know that other people have experienced much worse consequences. This isn’t a perfect metaphor (it’s not an example of prejudice or violence against a class of people, etc) but my point is that I try to hold it in my heart because that’s one case where I know what it’s like to really, really want something to just be NBD. Where part of me wants to just think it was a funny mistake so I don’t have to really think about the serious implications of it, and part of me super doesn’t. I have an instinct to resolve those feelings, to come down and decide that it’s either insignificant enough that I don’t have to think about it, or significant enough that I can hate him and then also stop thinking about it, and then I can have the relief of feeling just one feeling at a time.

I don’t think it’s bad to feel conflicted learning something about someone. I think it’s important.

But the problem is that if one thing isn’t significant enough, and we decide to keep thinking someone is fundamentally Good, we often toss that thing out. So when another thing happens, we only look at the new thing, trying to decide: is this enough? And that next thing might not be enough either. So we can go on and on, until you add up to a lot of things that have each done some harm, but none of them have been enough to change how we see and talk about someone.

Now I, personally, decided that the Timmies wasn’t so bad that ROR couldn’t ever make it up to me. But I didn’t decide to feel fine about it: I tried to just put a pin in how conflicted I felt. It’s been years, and over the years I think his actions have showed meaningful change. He hasn’t struck a Starbucks, a Dunkin, or even a Caribou. There’s a pattern.

I think a lot of people who don’t really like the things Benn says or does or believes have given him a lot of chances to make up for them, because they don’t want him to really mean those things. By which I really mean that I know there are a lot of women and queer fans who liked the guy. I get it (I don’t actually get it get it, but I mean I can try to understand people coming from a very different place than I do about him). 

I’ve read a lot of ways that people who are themselves vulnerable in our society try to empathize with him by imagining him as vulnerable too--he’s also experienced fatphobia, homophobia, he wasn’t expected to succeed, etc! I think that’s a wonderfully human instinct. But often I think people have more empathy for those experiences than he expresses for himself--he agrees that it was Bad to be fat and he’s Worked Hard to fit into the masculine norm, he agrees that it’s Bad to be close with another man and works to avoid it--and certainly more than he has showed in his actions toward others. If you’re going to say I hate him for saying that, I don’t--I want him and everyone in our society not to feel and do this shit!

I see a lot of people starting from the idea he is a good leader trying really hard to spin his choices as a smart strategy when he plays dumb with media, when he doesn’t give specific action plans or give public statements or apologies. (I actually agree with the first one, I think it is a strategy for him to avoid transparency and not do a part of his job that he doesn’t want to do.) It just…it seems like a lot of work to reach a pre-determined goal. It’s okay to like someone and for them to still not be good at their jobs! When I say I think a guy’s not a good leader, that’s not always the same as saying he’s a bad person. And if we keep on promoting a guy as a good leader because we like them regardless of their demonstrated leadership skills…that’s how we end up with a lot of shitty policies in the NHL.

Over the years he has consistently avoided stepping up to his captaincy and using his personal power to say things like, “No,” “Tyler, cut it out,” “This is what I’m going to do to fix a problem,” or “I believe in…” anything, really. 

I really, really want to ask people to be mad as hell and advocate for the NHL to improve its code of conduct and harassment processes. I do. But I’m also tired. I don’t think, if I did ask you that, it would work. I don’t have an argument for why you should be mad at someone who’s mad at my existence. I’m not trying. I just want to encourage you, if you’re feeling the tug of feelings and just want to be able to simplify someone’s behavior and love them in simple terms, to put a pin in the more complicated parts, and remember them the next time, and look for patterns.

[aries-writes-shit]

Hello hi uh i hope you are doing well and are staying safe and sanitized during this whole pandemic, um I hope the matchup is still up, if not my apologies uh ig I'll get started :) (platonic or romantic is fine by me, I dont mind either or cuz I honestlydont know what I want heh...ya..) My name is Dioceline (any pronoun is fine by me but people usually go with (she/they), my nickname is Dio or Small as most of my online friends call me. I have been told that I'm very impulsive and funny but im also emotional and I stand up for what I think is right and know when to be serious. I usually take the lead of things if no one else feels comfortable enough to deal with it which has landed me into some trouble in the past but id do it again for my friends because frankly I love and appreciate them and I make sure they know it by drawing them things they love or write poems about what I love about them and what I find beautiful about them every couple of weeks. Im not very big on socializing in person but I'm very bubbly and eager to meet people online (my socialbattery does brain pretty fast so I I ti take a quick nap or go on YT for a bit before I can go back to being stupid), I'm shy at first in person but the longer you get to know me I start to get annoying and very touchy feely cuz I'm ✨touch starved✨. Im 5'7 and a half and I like to flex that I'm taller than most of my family because its known that Mexicans/Hispanics are short asf. I am a Capricorn but I don't really feel connected to my sign so I'll give you my enneagram and my mbti! I'm an Infp-T and my ennegram is 2 wing 1. My music taste is all over the place at all times and I listen to anything as long as the lyrics speak to me or the instruments sound good asf (guitars are my favorite instrument, any type of instrument with strings speak to my soul) but I have been listening to a lot of old rock singers/bands recently like Queen, AC/DC, Hombres G, ABBA, Roger Taylor, Bon Jovi, and a lot of other singers/bands. Now since I've been the middle child of 5 other siblings before my little brother was born I have developed a strange humor, it's very mixed and changes a lot but I adapt and go with the flow of anything as long as it makes people happy and laugh. I usually flirt in very awkward ways like throwing horrid pickup lines at friends or pulling the fuckboy face while saying that they look like the snack that smiles back. It's a form of breaking the ice with a people after ive concluded that I want them in my life cuz idk why but I do so ya (in a platonic way ofc). I tend to get a little overprotective and take the parenteral roll when I hear that one of my friends haven't ate or is being insulting and ir being made uncomfortable. Now for appearance, I smile with my eyes, have a cupid's bow and I have lip asymmetry on my left lip. I have a lot of beauty marks on my face and arms, I have dark brown hair and eyes. I'm on the curvier side, I have really big thighs and my chest is pretty big to so it makes it look like I have somewhat of an hourglass figure which is cool ig. I usually wear shorts and baggy sweaters that are 2 times to big for me, most of my clothes is black except for a couple of red and grey shirts/sweatshirts that I have in my closet. I love music, drawing, painting and pretty much anything to do with art. I also really like Chemistry/Science, English, and Philosophical talks, I like learning about the ocean and space but im to scared to actually go into the ocean and my family never really goes out cuz money issues and stuff but it's nice to see it on the internet. I also really enjoy the company of animals and plants :) ok I think that is all, sorry it was so long I tend to ramble and say things that aren't necessary. OH idk if this would help at all but I want to be a family therapist and will be joining the army next year after I graduate so I can get my degree without getting into terrible debt. Ok now I think that is all, hope you have an amazing day/night and stay safe!

Woah 😳, Why are yall so cool?

I think ima match you with....

C!Philza and C!Techno

Oh no, two protective anachists, what they gonna do

In all seriousness

These two are 100% very protective of you

One of them is always with you

Either making sure your safe

Or just making sure you dont do something to crazy

You play the guitar?

Expect to preform pretend concerts to Phil, Chat, Techno and all technos animals

If neither of the boys can be with you, philza's murder, Chat, as he calls them, would follow you from a distance

Phil would paint with you 100%

Techno wouldnt paint with you two, but he would watch

Philosophical talks with techno

But their like, in like the middle of the night

"Why do you think were here on earth"

"Woah, thats a good question"

Definitely would concern phil, when you two talk about the meaning of life out of nowhere.

They would definitely support your choice of becoming a therapist

And the military as well

Despite fighting for a government

[liunaticfringe]

(via Lucy Liu's Independent Woman - Interview Magazine)

There have been many great sidekick pairings in the history of modern literature. Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer, Phileas Fogg and Jean Passepartout, Winnie-the-Pooh and Piglet…the list goes on. Yet, it seems there has never been a delightfully tumultuous relationship that comes close to echoing the one embodied by rogue detective Sherlock Holmes and his faithful friend and assistant Dr. John Watson. Written in the form of short stories by Arthur Conan Doyle between the late 19th and early 20th centuries, the opium-den loving Holmes would terrorize London with his intellectual, astute, and stubborn prowess, with Dr. Watson providing medical expertise and chronicling their entertaining exploits along the way.

Doyle’s works have now long been entered into the public domain, with many film and television adaptions cropping up every few years. Still, when CBS announced in 2012 that it would be turning Doyle’s works into an hour-long crime-drama series titled Elementary, it elicited an unusually high response—this was mostly due to the news that a woman would, in fact, be portraying Watson. Her name would be Joan, not John. And she’s now a fallen from grace surgeon-turned-sober companion and private detective, forfeiting her “Dr.” title in the process. The woman chosen to take on this exciting, contemporary role of Joan Watson was none other than seasoned actress Lucy Liu.

Liu, who’s best known for her roles as a fierce and ill-mannered lawyer in Ally McBeal, an ass-kicking “angel” in the rebooted Charlie’s Angels, and an equally ass-kicking bad girl in the Kill Bill series, certainly provides the yin to the yang of Jonny Lee Miller’s gritty portrayal of Holmes. Elementary chronicles the duo’s relationship as they consult for the NYPD on various criminal cases while living in a shared brownstone in Brooklyn Heights. Initially starting off in Season One as a substance-free friend to the fresh-out-of-rehab Holmes with a keen interest in solving crimes, Watson quickly transformed into a sharp and observant right-hand woman who now clearly has the aptitude to work on her own. And it appears she’ll be doing just that—the end of Season Two left viewers witnessing Watson’s decision to move out of the brownstone and start a new career as a solo private detective, seemingly fed-up with Holmes’ erratic behavior.

The warm and delightful Liu recently called up Interview from her home in New York City to discuss Elementary’s upcoming third season.

DEVON IVIE: Were you on set today?

LUCY LIU: I was running around like a maniac, yeah. It’s beautiful today, it started getting a little bit cooler again. But of course I’ve been bitten by the two mosquitos that are still alive in New York City.

IVIE: I know you were recently at New York Comic Con. How was it?

LIU: It was amazing. It’s such a spectator place. Not only do you get super fans, but you also get people who are curious and inventive and imaginative. It’s fun.

IVIE: Did you run into any cosplayers dressed as Joan Watson?

LIU: Oh, no, I don’t know about that. That’s funny! We did a panel with a huge audience so I couldn’t really see if anyone was wearing anything specific, but it’s an excuse for kids and adults to get dressed up and just be crazy. You know you’ve made it when you have super-fans out there.

IVIE: When you first read the scripts for Elementary, what was it that attracted you to the role of Joan?

LIU: I liked the fact that it was going to be about [Joan and Sherlock’s] relationship and their friendship, and bringing that into modern times. And I thought it was wonderful to change up the gender.

IVIE: Did you immerse yourself in Arthur Conan Doyle’s work as preparation at all?

LIU: I did, I did! I started reading the short stories. I never read them before so it was a really great excuse to read them. I can’t believe it was written so long ago, because it’s so current. The characters are so colorful, which is why I think there are so many incarnations of Watson and Holmes.

IVIE: Do you have a favorite story? I love “A Scandal in Bohemia.”

LIU: There were some pretty amazing stories. The one that stood out to me, which was a Watson story that I got to know him a little more through, was “The Hound of the Baskervilles.” He really is on his own in that. Of course it turns out that Holmes has been there all along, but it’s interesting looking into his interior.

IVIE: Yeah, the entirety of “The Hound of the Baskervilles” is narrated just by Watson. And his diary and letters, too.

LIU: Yeah, I think it’s really cool. We started incorporating that into the show, too, the letters and journals.

IVIE: Has this detective genre always appealed to you? Did you grow up watching or reading detective whodunits?

LIU: I remember more of the old school Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys sort of thing. I also grew up with the Scooby-Doo mysteries. Remember when the villain would go, “I would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for you rascal-y kids!” Those were the kind of the things I immersed myself in. I have to say that my mother has always been a huge fan of Columbo and Murder, She Wrote, so this show was her dream come true. I don’t think she totally understood what was going on with Ally McBeal. [laughs]

IVIE: I’ve enjoyed witnessing Joan’s evolution throughout the course of the show, starting off as a sober companion and eventually ending up as a trusty sidekick and confidant to Sherlock. What can we expect from Joan in Season Three?

LIU: When you see them in the third season, you see some friction between the two characters. Joan is now on her own, she has her own detective agency, has a boyfriend, and has been without Sherlock for eight months. She’s got her own apartment, she’s settled, and he shows back up. I think she’s a little bit hurt by what happened and how their relationship and partnership ended, which was basically his decision and his choice, and he left it all in one little note for her. I think she felt that their relationship was much deeper than that, and that he was dismissive in the way that he handled that.

IVIE: How would you define the relationship between Joan and Sherlock?

LIU: I think that it’s a really positive and good relationship, overall. They really have a good chemistry together, work really hard together, and understand each other. They acknowledge each other and respect each other, which is a really important way to have a friendship. And they can learn from each other, you know? She’s very curious about him and I think he sees that she’s a very smart person—that’s vital for him in having respect for someone, having them be intelligent and thinking for themselves.

IVIE: Do you see any of Joan in yourself?

LIU: I do to a certain degree. She’s a lot more measured and patient, for sure. She’s a very curious person, which I think I am, and I think she isn’t afraid of change. She was a doctor, and then became a sober companion, and then jumped off and became a detective. I think sometimes it’s good to make big leaps.

IVIE: You’ve probably been asked this question many times, but do you think a romance between Joan and Sherlock could ever fittingly happen?

LIU: It’s a question that’s often asked and I think it’s really up to the executives. Rob Doherty, the creator [of Elementary] really feels incredibly strongly about keeping their relationship platonic. He has already taken great strides to keep the relationship as clean as possible according to the literature, but he has also changed so much of it by changing the gender of Watson. To have them have a romantic involvement would turn the whole thing upside-down in a way that might really jump the line. [Doherty] felt really strongly about it and I think that’s the one thing he really wants to stay true to.

IVIE: I totally agree. Even on the BBC’s Sherlock, there are campaigns to get Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock and Martin Freeman’s Watson to become romantically involved. It’s like, enough already, no!

LIU: No way, that’s so weird! People do have that level of friendship oftentimes, but it doesn’t mean it’s physical. I think that everyone just assumes because there’s chemistry the next thing should be happening. I would vote “no” for a romance. I think for sure the creator would vote no on that, too.

IVIE: I’ve talked to both women and men who watch Elementary, and they all consistently mention how well dressed and fashionable Joan is. Do you collaborate with the wardrobe department on styling decisions at all?

LIU: That’s awesome. Yes, I collaborate with Rebecca [Hofherr], who’s the costume designer, who’s wonderful. She’s very easy to work with. One thing we try to maintain about Joan and her style is that she’s a bit wrinkled, you know what I mean? Sometimes it looks like things are really put together, but we always want to make sure things aren’t too tight and are comfortable, kind of like she throws things together. We don’t want it to seem so business-y, so we go away from suits. Chic, but not corporate. Also just to make her seem like her outfits aren’t so put-together all the time. But I’m glad that people really seem to like it, it’s a relief! We don’t splurge a lot on the show, we try to do cheaper things, like things Joan would wear a lot. She wears the same white jacket and shoes frequently.

IVIE: Will we be seeing more of the infamous Clyde the Turtle in the upcoming season?

LIU: Clyde will indeed be in it again. We have to share custody of Clyde.

IVIE: Is it true that Clyde is actually two tortoises? Pulling a Mary Kate and Ashley in Full House on us?

LIU: Yes. It’s just like having twins on a show. Just in case one is crying and screaming and passed out or something.

IVIE: You made your directorial debut for an episode of Elementary last season [“Paint It Black”]. Do you have plans to direct an episode again soon?

LIU: That was so exciting. I’ll be directing another episode again very shortly in December, so you’ll be seeing it in a month and a half.

IVIE: Where did your interest in directing come from?

LIU: I guess I was curious about it. Having been in this business for a while, you kind of see and get a glimpse of everything doing film and television. I think it seemed like a natural progression to go into directing, and I hope to explore more of it, because it’s very exciting and a really good way to collide all the things that you’ve known and experienced in the business and put them all into one.

IVIE: Is there an ideal guest star that you’d like to see on the show in the upcoming season?

LIU: I would love to see Mycroft come back. I really think there was a wonderful tension for Mycroft and Sherlock as well as the triangle that occurred when Joan became involved with him. There’s something very deep about that relationship, and I also think that Rhys Ifans is a fantastic actor. He commands the screen, but off-screen he’s incredibly lovely. A real treat to have on the show.

IVIE: I remember the first few episodes that I saw Rhys in, I was like, where have I seen this guy before? So I looked at his Wikipedia page and it became obvious: he was the crazy guy from Notting Hill!

LIU: Yes, the roommate! So good! Everything he does, he just kills it, no matter the role.

IVIE: And it’s always good to have some MI6 action on the show, which Mycroft provided. Some international flair.

LIU: [laughs] International flair, exactly, some added spice. Just throw some spy stuff in there to throw people off their game. You just don’t expect it, you know? It came out of nowhere.

IVIE: That whole three-episode arc at the end of the second season…

LIU: That was awesome. I was lucky enough to direct one of those episodes, which is more narrative in tone. It’s more fun in some ways, too.

IVIE: You’ve done a range of acting work for both television and film. Do you now find yourself preferring one to the other?

LIU: I love both of them equally. The lack of predictability with television is something that’s constantly changing what your perception of who you think your character is. Suddenly I have a father that’s schizophrenic, or I discovered something else, or I have a relationship with Mycroft. The things that pop up and change the game for you and always keep you on your toes. The wonderful thing about film is that you have something that has a beginning, middle, and end, and you have a concrete amount of time to shoot it. And the process of that can be longer, like editing and advertising and testing the movie, so it’s very different. Television you just continue going, no matter what’s happening outside of your world. You get lost in that vortex a little bit.

IVIE: It’s interesting that America is now embracing the “mini-series” format that has already been so heavily utilized overseas, where there are a set amount of short episodes, and that’s it. In a way, it’s kind of like a cinematic experience.

LIU: I like that, too. It allows you to have a freedom of creativity and at the same time you don’t feel like you have to be contracted to something for that long; you’re really working on a piece of art. And then you’re done and you move on, or it comes back, like Downton Abbey. You don’t know. Those things become little masterpieces. The thing about television is that you see a range of actors now that you may not have seen five years ago even, 10 years ago absolutely not, and I think now there’s no wrong about doing television. There’s no definitive category for what kind of department you fall into anymore.

IVIE: What’s a fun, secret fact about your costar Jonny Lee Miller?

LIU: A fun fact about Jonny Lee Miller is that he oftentimes does handstands on a wall before he does a take, sometimes with pushups, to get blood to his brain and get him geared up for a long monologue that he may have. He stays there, hangs a little bit, and then turns around and does the scene. Most of the time in the brownstone more than anywhere else. He’s in full costume and everything. That’s trivia!

IVIE: I wish I could do wall-handstands by myself.

LIU: Oh my god, I need someone to push my legs up and then hold me there. I’m a cheat!

ELEMENTARY PREMIERES THURSDAY, OCTOBER 30 ON CBS.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Which member do you think is the most supportive of VMIN?

Admin 1: For a change I’ll be the one that’ll use comparatively few words since I don’t have that big of an opinion. As much as I enjoy joining in on the jokes about how Jimin is the president of the Namjinists (due to his April Fool’s Day joke tweet from years ago and other such things), I’ve never given much thought to who among the members might be the most supportive of vmin.

But perhaps I’d say it could be Hoseok due to his general fondness of both Jimin and Tae as individuals but also as them together, how he said his favorite song off of MOTS7 is Friends and even sung it during the FESTA karaoke with the iconic (very suggestive and heavy on the implications) hip thrust during Tae’s “hey, Jimin, oneul” part. I’m sure you know exactly what I mean. Also if we consider that Jimin and Hoseok were roommates for a long time, I guess it wouldn’t be too far-fetched of an assumption to make on my part that surely they had a number of deep late night talks over the years, and chances are Jimin would’ve sought out advice from Hoseok during one of them, perhaps even confided in him about his feelings for Tae (regardless which ones, both would be valid and something you’d talk about with a close friend).

Another option might be Namjoon, since he’s the leader and thus certainly the person who would have to know about such developments within the group for obvious reasons, but also it seems like Namjoon sought out consolation and advice from both Jimin (like that scene in BV4 around the bonfire off to the side from the group) and Tae (like the story he told at 5th Muster Seoul (?) about how he was kind of sad/feeling off so he talked to Tae before the encore and what Tae said made him feel better), meaning they are more than close enough to bring up certain topics with each other. So, based on that, it doesn’t seem too much of a stretch that he would stand up/look out for them if need be in conversations with BH etc.

That being said, regardless of how we interpret vmin and their bond, I think it’s safe to say that all the members are endlessly supportive of them, just like they are with any other duo within the group, though it’s easy to see that they do highlight vmin at times as something…special. A bond that’s noteworthy, stands out, even within a group as close as they are.

Admin 2: Chances are that what I think and am about to say might be a bit controversial. At the same time I’d like to note that this is only my personal opinion and theory, and not some kind of proven fact, yes? Perhaps no one will agree with me, but after putting many thoughts into this and looking at different content and events that have transpired over the years, as well as some other factors I’ll explain later, these are the conclusions I’ve drawn when it comes to the members and vmin. Furthermore, I don’t want to negate/comment on other ships since those don’t really play any role in this the way some might assume.

I think it’s important to remember that BTS basically exist in two version (though they are closely intertwined):

1: the idols on screen, who stand on stage, who share their music with us, who film content and who, to a certain degree, play a role, keep up an appearance that’s part honest and part mystery.

“I think V can show parts of Kim Taehyung and parts of V, but Kim Taehyung can’t show V. Kim Taehyung is Kim Taehyung. Kim Taehyung is someone who’s still filled with a lot of curiosity and he’s inquisitive about a lot of things. There are so many things he wants to do. Also I think there’s so many things he is curious about.” – Tae, Break the Silence: Persona

2: the real-life humans with private lives, private friendships and personalities that are similar but not quite the same as what we know and see.

Both of these are real in their own right, and both of them influence each other in more ways than one. So, when we look at vmin in the context of both, the question of support and showing certain things and how those affect version 1 and 2 are tricky, multifaceted and much more complex than some imagine or present it as. Because the moment we assume private life vmin are real, that sort of swift in dynamic ultimately also affects their work and demands adjustments from all parties involved, especially the other members. A large portion of what they do and say on screen or anywhere that we can see it is, to a certain degree, planned or has been discussed prior.

More below the cut since this kind of got long:

In one of the Break the Silence episodes Namjoon spoke about how with the more recent tours they haven’t been really able to do as much “free style” stuff (as in moving freely around stage and being silly, that sort of thing) between songs with choreographies, as opposed to how it used to be in the early days, since much of the show is perfectly timed and planned down to every little detail and every single light surrounding the stage. Much the same way everything else sure is, too. Look at RUN, even there you can notice them looking at printed out pages that surely contain a short storyboard of how the episode should more or less go in general terms, since that makes editing and keeping things cohesive much easier, especially since BTS are seven people, therefore seven moving independent variables.

Keeping all of this in mind, I’ve come to the conclusion that, in my opinion, the biggest vmin supporter is JK, followed by Hobi and Namjoon. I don’t mean, by any means, that completely idiotic theory some have created that one ship hides another, because that isn’t at all what I am going for with this. Of course Tae and JK are T*ek*ok (a subunit name they’ve after all created themselves though that context of that moment has long been changed by people) and Jimin and JK are J*ko*k, and depending on the demand (from a PR point of view as well as those of fans) and situations, those ships are utilized/highlighted in certain ways to achieve certain things. With this I don’t mean to belittle the actual real-life bonds between the real-life members, merely the “fantasy” versions created in large parts by shippers.

But that isn’t what I mean. Let me explain.

There are several situations that I think support my theory/opinion, past and more recent, but for the sake of fresh memories that we’ll all be able to recall, I’ll use more recent ones. During their vlive when BE and Life Goes On were just released, the one where they wore PJs, had pizza and that cardboard cutout of Yoongi, there was a moment when Tae was supposed to put lipstick on Jimin. He pulled Jimin close with his arm around his shoulder while Jimin giggled and playfully pretended to try and push him away or stop him from doing it, despite seemingly holding on to his top to keep him close anyway. While that was happening, the other members checked what they were doing and notably JK, upon seeing what vmin were up to, moved a few steps away closer toward the cameras and stood as though between vmin and said cameras while holding that silver screen thing used for lighting in photography (I’m not sure how it’s called). Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but seeing as Namjoon, who carried the Yoongi cutout, joined him, it seemed like they were trying to hide vmin, which of course didn’t work out since the producers simply switched to a different camera.

This might be me going temporarily delulu but toward the end of that sequence there was a moment where we couldn’t see much of vmin save for the tops of their heads. At some point Tae made a move with his head which some (including myself) have interpreted as a potential smooch (as in an actual one or just him pretending/doing the motion of it, that’s up for debate) which caused Hobi to break out in loud laughter.

A second example is day two of MOTS ON:E when it was time for Dynamite. Usually vmin just walk past each other doing something funny or interacting in some way, but on that day instead Jimin pulled Tae closer, enough so that their foreheads touched, and they looked at each other in quite a meaningful way. At the same time JK stood right behind them, since he’s the one that opens the song, and watched what was happening. Just like with the above example, he stepped toward them and put his hand on the back of Tae’s head in a gesture that I interpreted as a form of safety measurement that IF vmin were to potentially do something…risky, he could intervene by quite literally pulling them apart/stopping them. This moment of course has been twisted and manipulated in many different ways to, for example, showcase some supposed jealousy or alike, but I think that’s just plain stupid.

I’d also like to show you a few other pictures that I think show us the kind of dynamic he really has with vmin, how he watches (over) his hyungs with affection and support, so to speak:

(the following pictures, left to right: JM, JK, TH)

The sole fact that three maknae ships can exist simultaneously, while vmin might be the likely one to be real, in my opinion shows that everything between the three of them must be more than okay, that there’s harmony and understanding between them, everyone knowing their place/role exactly, that there’s no jealousy or other negative emotions involved. Even more so when we consider the stakes that come with it all, at the top of it all being money, not only for the members but also BH (including everyone who invested money in stocks, as well as all their employees that need to be paid). And the fact that BTS aren’t rookies anymore, but instead they have a big and very relevant role in a broader sense when it comes to influence, power, and fame.

Look at how professional they are when it comes to being idols and everything that entails, including shipping. Just look at how despite Tae’s Weverse comment to that one shipper, and the conversation in In The Soop, they played their roles so convincingly that no one who is in favor of that ship is willing to believe them or consider that perhaps they were wrong. But, this is more of a topic for another post, so I’ll leave it at that.

Looking at all these moments, bigger and smaller ones, gestures that some didn’t even notice or did but interpreted in a completely different way for their own reasons, it brought me to the conclusion that JK is their biggest supporter.

Just like Admin 1 said, I also think that Hobi and Namjoon are big supporter as well. Although I can’t for the life of me remember the piece of content where he said this (if anyone knows, please do let me know), I recall a moment where Namjoon spoke to Tae and said that he’s his responsibility, which made me wonder if that perhaps meant that Namjoon gave his vote of confidence about Tae (and vmin) to BH or agreed to keep an eye on him/them to keep them in check. But that’s just a thought/theory.

At the end of the day, whatever our opinion may be, we have to remember that we know very little about their private life, a tiny percentage if even, so it’s important to stick to/pay attention to/based our opinions on the original material and what the members say, instead of taking into account edited videos on YT or opinions influenced by others agendas, but that, too, is something to be discussed in a different post.

Thank you for this interesting question!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #391

“if you wanna soar with vultures, you’ll have to swallow crow”

Have you ever been to Australia? No. I want to visit a friend there, but honestly, Australia scares me too much lmao. That place is like, the Hard mode in life. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My sister's husband just had his. Are you wearing a necklace? If so, describe it. No. Do you know anyone who is left-handed? My best fren. Ever wear out a CD? What was it? Haha, yeah... I caused a few scratches on Ozzy's Black Rain, as well as one more of his, where the album name is surprisingly evading me. What’s your favorite card game? Magic: The Gathering. What’s your favorite fast food meal? Burgers or chicken tenders are usually my go-to, depending on the place. Where is the best restaurant you’ve ever eaten in at? The Cheesecake Factory. @_@ Lamb chops or pork chops? I've actually never tried lamb chops before, but I've always thought they look yummy. If you HAD to pick ONE song to listen to for the rest of your life, and that would be the only song you ever heard, what would it be? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy Osbourne, probably. It's very motivating. Ever heard of Shinedown? Yeah, I like 'em. They're one of Dad's faves. What size is your bed? Queen. What is the first meal you remember eating? Hell if I know. What was the first movie you ever saw? I also don't remember. What percentile of your class were you in? The top. Can you name every place you’ve ever had sex? I probably could, but I'm not going to. What forms of birth control have you used? The pill and also just not having a sex life lmao. Do you use sponges or dishcloths when doing the dishes? A sponge. What’s your favorite song on the top twenty right now? I have zero clue what's in the top twenty. Ever punched a wall? No. What was the last bug you killed and what did you use? An ant in the house. My fingers. Ever get pulled over by the cops and get away without a ticket? I've never been pulled over. What was your first legal alcoholic drink? A margarita, I think? What’s the most expensive things your parents ever bought you? Probably this laptop. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought? My snake. Or my most recent tattoo, idr. What is your favorite cover song? I think Disturbed's "Sound of Silence" is unbeatable as a cover. Well, or Johnny Cash's "Hurt." Both SLAUGHTER the originals. Did you ever drop out of school? College, three times. Ever raise a child that wasn’t your own for more than 3 months? No. Strangest medical procedure ever performed on you? Considering the location, having a pilonidal cyst drained by pushing on it. Jesus FUCKING Christ it hurt so goddamn bad. Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? I don’t have a job. Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Windows. Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Yes. How many times a year do you go on vacation? Zero, generally. What is your favorite time period in history to learn about? The Holocaust. What’s the saddest report you have ever seen on the news? *shrug* I don't watch the news. In your honest opinion, what is the scariest sea creature you know? Putting aside my illogical fear of whale sharks, probably giant squid. Like no thank u. What superpower do you think would be the most handy in times of trouble? Teleportation. Do you believe there is just one love for everyone, or…? No. There are WAY too many people in the world for that. Plus, you're talking to a person who has been in love with two different individuals, and both were perfectly valid feelings. Why are you best friends with your best friend? She's just simply amazing. Strong, funny, intelligent, caring, supportive, loyal... She's, again, amazing. Do you world peace is truly a possibility in the future? Realistically, no. But it's nice to imagine. Pretend you are a really good cook, what meal would you make? *shrug* It would depend on what I wanted to eat. What do you think of when you look at the stars? Just the vastness of everything, and I wonder what it's like up there in outer space. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Dead? Their shells are part of their actual skeletal structure. What’s one thing you feel you must do in your life before it ends? Just... feel like I did something. What Disney princess are you most like? Personality-wise, I mean. Maybe Belle? To be totally honest, I don't really remember the details of most of their personalities. What do you think is the most important thing in this life is? Love. Do you use any acne medication? Not anymore. Have you ever tried to learn another language? How did it go? I took Latin for one semester, and it was hard as FUCK. I quickly changed to German next semester and did that for all four available classes. Do you still have a landline phone in your home? No. Throughout a typical week, which places are you likely to go? I go to the TMS therapy office every weekday, and I might ride with my mom to pick up groceries or something. How often do you use your webcam, if you even have one that is? Never anymore because my mic doesn't work on this laptop, so there's no reason to. Do you have a lock number or pattern for your phone? Neither, actually. What was the last thing you bought from a liquor store? Mom bought a nice bottle of some pink lemonade Smirnoff the other day for us to try, but she left it at my sister's. ;-; It looked soooo good. Is there any cereal in your house? What kind? Yeah. Mom got some Honey Nut Cheerios and Reese's Puffs. What's the most number of people you've ever lived with? Excluding myself, I wanna say five. Do you celebrate St. Patrick's Day? No. Do you have any pets? How long have you had them? I've had Venus forrrr... I want to say four years, and Roman for two, I think. What's your favourite kind of cheese? American. Have you danced in the rain? No. Who is your favorite person to text? Sara. What’s your favorite brand of jeans? I haven't worn jeans in many years. Do you enjoy Mario games? Not especially. Mario Kart is fun, though. What’s your favorite online game? World of Warcraft. Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class? Yes. That shit hurts. Who was last to cook for you? My mom. Would you ever wish to explore a cave? YES!!!!! You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Freeze, physically and mentally. Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high? Yes, because I was afraid to say no. Did you ever date the last person you kissed? Yes. Have you ever held a snake? Plenty of times. How often do you have friends over to your house? Never. Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally? No. Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? My mom, because she always feels unwanted at Ashley's house. It wasn't unexpected, honestly. She cries a lot in the car when she leaves my sister's house, honestly. It's heartbreaking. Do you have any exercises you do everyday? No. :/ Are you more of a dog or cat person? I'm a cat person. That only becomes more apparent with time, really. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? I probably have, given I've had nightmares of strangling someone, punching and slapping people... all kinds of stuff. My nightmares are so fucking violent and I hate it. Would you ever have a bird as a pet? No. Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No. Do you know someone who’s been cremated? My dog, as well as my younger sister's old pup. And Mom's. What is your favorite animated movie? The Lion King. Did your grandparents teach you anything? To not be horrendously old-fashioned and to never have kids, yes. Congrats, Grandma, I took both things to heart. Do you want/have a Bachelor's degree? No. Are you into superheroes? Who's your favourite? Not massively, no. I like Deadpool (yeah, yeah, antihero, whatever) and Spider-Man. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Yes to both. Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? I don't think so. Did you ever play Neopets when you were younger? Yes, I LOVED them. Sometimes I'm still tempted to make a new account, I shit you not, lol. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have your parents ever worked in medicine? My mom was a pharmacy technician or some title like that for a long time. Is there anything unusual about your house? I don't think so? How many serious relationships have you been in? Two. Do you listen to Rise Against? I only know "Re-education (Through Labor)," but I LOVE that song. When was the last time you congratulated someone? It was probably something on Facebook, but idr. Have you ever taken care of a newborn baby? Go no, I could never. How old were you when you got your ears pierced? I don't remember my age, but old enough where I did it of my own volition. Do you snore when you sleep? No. Surprising for someone with sleep apnea as horrendous as mine. What was the last type of burger you ate? I had a McDouble from McDonald's a few nights ago.

[deathwish-koala]

Harry, the womanizer

Okay, I’ll admit it. When Watermelon Sugar hit the radio and I suddenly had to hear it everywhere, in my head I kinda went, “Jesus Harry, we get it. You like to fuck.” 

But I was just playin’! Joshin’ my boy! You know I love Harry, and more to the point, I think he’s a very thoughtful artist. I think he’s straining for an emotional truth in his work that he must constantly interrogate and shape--hence his propensity to change lyrics and cadence (the Spotify Singles version of Two Ghosts comes to mind) in live performance. 

I don’t really believe that his music, allusions to fruit juices aside, is mostly sexual. But even if it were--would that be a bad thing? 

At the ripe old age of nearly-27, Harry is definitely allowed to have sex, you know? Like all adults. He’s also allowed to sing about it. I have a friend who is a rather brilliant, cerebral young musician (And also an Aquarius! Go figure.) who has songs about sex, because sex is part of his life. Sex, beyond being fun when done right, is also a realm of extreme spiritual and emotional truth. It’s also...sexy. It makes for good music. We know this. So no harm done there.

A Note On Olivia Wilde

In recent days, Harry’s been photographed holding hands with Olivia Wilde. I have a lot of respect for Wilde, both for her longstanding activism and her career. On House she portrayed the first canonical bisexual I ever saw on TV, a massive moment in my life that made my heart hammer with a sense of recognition I was too young to really appreciate. 

Yet I can see why the current media setup--including a Vanity Fair piece dropped yesterday--might make some longtime Harry fans nervous. A decade ago, Harry’s purported involvement with Caroline Flack had fans frothing at the mouth. Whether the relationship was legit or not is hardly the question, and, out of respect to the tragic situation surrounding Flack, I wish to speak instead on the hideous media coverage at that time.

So much of what defined Harry’s media image as a teenager was sexual. The world very quickly realized, I think, that he is a massively charismatic person, but the extremely sexualized coverage he received was singular and disgusting. He could not so much as speak to a woman without speculation that they were involved. An exhausting burden for anyone, let alone someone so young and so suddenly exposed to the world’s scrutiny. In 2012 my mother very cheerfully read off that infamous “400 women in a year” headline to me and it made my stomach twist.

Beyond the closeting many suspected was behind this early media narrative, there was also the fear fans held of Harry’s predation. First Caroline, then Taylor--Harry was linked to older women all the time, and as we know, age gaps create power imbalances. Harry was still a teenager. It all seemed wrong. 

So perhaps the Wilde thing chafes, as we remember these wounds of old. Two things to consider, however: 

1) Harry is no longer any sort of child. He’s an adult man with a career that he has made conscious efforts toward maintaining. Time has ruled that none of his fame was an accident or mistake. He has chosen this path, treacherous though it may be, and that’s worth respecting. 

2) Essentially, he and Olivia Wilde are peers. For one, they’re co-stars, but they’re also both household names, both wealthy beyond imagining, both seemingly secure in their image and personhood. This is pure speculation, but I suspect they have a bit of an intellectual connection, whatever else they are.

It is not so unheard of that a person in their mid/late-20′s might date someone in their 30′s, especially if they share a career and relative position in society. The world is very large and full of people, and finding a person you connect with is a brilliant feeling. If that’s what they have, these two adult peers, then fantastic. And if it’s PR for the film they’re in together? Wouldn’t be the first time. Wilde is admittedly gorgeous. Who better to offer her their arm than a handsome man who cut his teeth as a young lothario? 

And Yet...

The womanizer image, grafted onto Harry in his days of earliest fame, has never sat right againsthsi skin. We certainly talk about it enough around these parts: Harry Styles starts each day with a glass of antioxidant rich Respect Women Juice, yet media (and many fans) would have you believe he wakes up, sees a lamp shade that looks like a boob, and just starts wacking it. If media was reality, Harry would have to be a bedridden compulsive to keep it up. 

Now, one can respect women and still have sex with a lot of them. Promiscuity is not inherently evil or immoral or filthy or wrong. Really, for me the question becomes, “How comfortable are you, dear HStyles fan, with speculating on the amount of sex he has?” 

We are all a little bit complicit in Harry’s sexualization through the years. Some of it is less okay than the rest. I’m not here to decide for you, but hopefully it’s become clearer over time what is and is not creepy, what is and is not invasive, what would and would not make Styles himself lose sleep if he knew it existed with his name attached.

The media, writ large, is more broadly complicit in this sexualization. In 2011, Alan Carr interviewed 1D for Chatty Man and--having already confirmed which of the boys was 18 and old enough to drink--begins to hassle Harry (not yet 18) about “pussygate,” aka 

Black & white for nostalgia purposes.

Listen, I get it. You wanna take the piss out of the 17-year-old pop star, because it’s funny and silly and he’ll be embarrassed but cool about it probably. You wanna tease him. Because he’s a kid.

On their next interview with Alan Carr, Harry is once again addressed on sexual terms--”Harry, give us your gravy!”--that are playful but also pointed. By age 18, Harry had dealt with this for years.

Hi, Watermelon Sugar

Harry is not the only musician, not even the only member of the band, to have their personal life made a public topic. Superstardom in the 21st century is invasive to the highest degree. But it seems peculiar that the specter of hyper-sexualization chases Styles most everywhere, despite the decidedly non-sexual accolades and regard his career has gathered in the last five years, and despite the lack of flagrant behavior.

Perhaps this specter hangs on because of Harry’s emotional and sensual approach to music--I mean, he does talk about fruit juice a lot, and fabric, and flowers. In an interview with Zane Lowe, the friendly, stoney mood is momentarily dampened by Lowe’s assumption that Watermelon Sugar is about oral sex. 

“Everyone’s kind of figured out what it is about, the joys of mutually appreciated oral pleasure. That’s what everyone’s saying,“ Lowe tacks on defensively. 

According to some, Harry even confirmed as much at a different point. In the Zane Lowe interview, he denies it. 

For what it’s worth, In Watermelon Sugar is a post-apocalyptic novel by Richard Brautigan from the 1960′s. The book, a sparse narrative of a commune existing post-societal collapse, has been called “a parody of the pastoral” by Patrick Morrow. “This society may represent what modern man might wish it to be...but the distortion in the new society is also obvious and just as unattractive.” 

Harry has confirmed that a copy of the book was present during the genesis of the song. The shimmery, ephemeral lyrics--the fragility of sugar itself, easily melted--seem to hint at a desire to stay in the best parts of feeling while acknowledging that these moments are necessarily short-lived. In Morrow’s view, Brautigan’s book is about reality denial. In my view, Styles’ song is, at least a little bit, about the same.

So it’s not that the song isn’t about oral sex--it’s that it’s about more than oral sex. 

Or maybe it’s that oral sex is about more than oral sex. 

Or maybe it’s about nothing, and there are certainly those who choose to believe that. Still, it seems a shame that so much of Harry’s image continues to be wrapped up in that of the Don Juan, the Casanova, the Lothario. 

Really, he’s more of a Vonnegut. 

[arckook]

around and around - five

pairing: cho seungyoun x reader, kim wooseok x reader

au: idolverse

warnings: none

wordcount: 4.6k

description: you’ve had a one-sided crush on your close friend seungyoun for who knows how long, but things don’t stay so black and white when he introduces you to his new groupmate kim wooseok.

next

Jamiezzz

*sent image*

everyone look at our baby seungyoun at this photoshoot manz looks a fool

Beoneon

I think hyung looks good though?

Hyunggu🤪

Hansol can you read the mood. She’s trashing Seungyoun-hyung because he actually looks good

Beoneon

Oh ya I see it now

Jamiezzz

y/n y/n y/n where are you 

respond 

dont leave me alone here with these boring men

You sigh, reading over the recent messages in your friends’ group chat. Shaking your head slightly, you set your phone down in your lap, watching through the large mirror in front of you as your hairdresser lays the bleach onto your hair.

“I’m surprised you finally agreed to going blonde!” she says, looking excited to do something more interesting with your head. You tend to stick with a darker look, because it’s easier to take care of.

“I just want a change,” you tell her, smiling. 

And it’s true.

You almost feel like one of those girls who has gone through a crazy breakup, and does something drastic to her hair to try and cope emotionally. 

You’re just not going through a breakup, and also not doing it yourself so you don’t piss off your management.

You glance down at your phone again and see a few more texts.

Hyunggu🤪

Boring? BORING?

Jamiezzz

boring boys can you tell me if it’s just me who thinks seungyoun and y/n are acting weird

this is a necessary callout bc its making me feel uncomfy

Beoneon

Do you have to make them feel awkward…

Jamiezzz

so you DO agree

Beoneon

I never said that

Hyunggu🤪

I agree

They keep ignoring us in the gc 

Whichever one of you shows up here first is not a loser

Jamiezzz

boy are you 12? tf kind of tactic is that

Youn

There’s nothing wrong. Sorry I haven’t kept up much with you guys the past couple of weeks!

Hyunggu🤪

“tF kInD oF tAcTiC iS tHaT”

You read over Seungyoun’s message a few times, your eyes drawn to his name, to his contact image. It’s one of the only pictures of him that you’ve taken yourself- from one of the first times you’d even met him. He put on these dumb sunglasses and pushed his hair all the way back and flat against his head. It looked stupid, but at the time you thought it was funny and endearing enough to set at his photo.

There’s nothing wrong.

For some reason, you can’t bring yourself to believe that he actually feels that way.

You still feel sick to your stomach when you think back to his expression that night, when you told him you didn’t want him to take you home. Not that you didn’t want to be taken home… that it was him that was the problem.

He’s probably confused.

But you can’t explain it. You can’t. 

“I think a more silvery blonde will look good on you,” your hairdresser chirps, cutting into your thoughts. “Would you be open to that?”

“Oh, sure,” you answer, knowing your voice sounds a little half-hearted. “Can you cut some layers too? I’m curious what that would look like on me.”

“Totally!” she says, folding up a foil. “It’s going to look so good!”

A few hours later, when your new hair is completely bleached, toned, colored, cut, and blow-dried into a flowy and shiny curtain of silver-blonde, you post a picture of the new look on your instagram, feeling a little better from seeing yourself look so different.

“Y/N-ah!”

You turn to see your group members, who all came from the dorm to get you from the salon so you can all get lunch together. 

Eunmi oohs and ahhs at your hair, running her fingers through it. “It actually looks soft!”

“That’s what happens when you don’t bleach the shit out of it like me,” Jiseo says, pinching a piece of her own hair, currently a faded minty green color, and cringing at it.

“Yeah, you should cut it, Unnie. Your ends look bad.” Soohyun says to the oldest, who sticks out her tongue. 

“Now three of us are basically blondes,” Eunmi pats your head. “I’m the only brunette left.”

“Don’t worry, Y/N won’t last long,” Jiseo jokes as she takes your hand, slotting her fingers in the spaces between yours. “She’s just going through emotional turmoil.”

“I am so not,” you mutter as the four of you start walking through the building towards the parking garage. 

“Y/N-unnie isn’t going through emotional turmoil, she’s just trying to look good for her new man,” Soohyun says, snickering even before Eunmi and Jiseo snap towards you, eyes wide.

“What?” Jiseo exclaims, and all you can do is glare intensely at Soohyun.

“That is also not accurate,” you grit your teeth as you talk.

“It so is,” she sing-songs, swinging her bag in front of her as you all keep walking. “His name is Kim Wooseok. Don’t worry, he’s handsomer than Cho Seungyoun.”

“Don’t say that about Seungyoun,” you tell her with a frown, but she just shrugs.

“It’s not like I called him ugly.”

“Isn’t Kim Wooseok his groupmate?” Eunmi wonders aloud, seemingly over the fact that Soohyun referred to him as your man. 

“Yeah,” you answer simply.

“Is that who you’ve been meeting up with the past few weeks?” Jiseo asks, which nearly makes you jump out of your skin, stopping in your tracks with wide eyes. Your leader glances over at you, a knowing smile on her face. “Y/N, did you think I didn’t notice you sneaking out whenever we had time?”

“I…” you trail off, a little embarrassed. “Um… yeah… I thought that.”

“Ooo-hoo-hoo!” Eunmi grins, and shoves you gently. “So it is like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like that,” she says suggestively, and you smack her arm.

“No, it’s-”

“Y/N-unnie sends him selfies,” Soohyun adds, making you groan and the other girls ooh and ahh even more.

“Yah, L/N Y/N!” Jiseo physically grabs and shakes you, her lips pulled into a wide smile. “I know as a leader I should scold you, but this is great news. You can finally get over Seungyoun.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” you whine, throwing your head back in frustration. “We are just friends!”

“Oooookay,” Jiseo hums, as you all exit the building into the parking garage. “Anyway, check out this spot I got. Someone was leaving right as we came in.”

“Lucky,” you comment as the car comes into view, glad of the change of topic.

The four of you get into the car, you and Soohyun automatically going to the backseat as you have done since the very first time you all went somewhere together. 

You glance down at your phone as the girls start discussing where you should go to eat, and are surprised to see another notification from your groupchat.

Jamiezzz

*sent image*

so y/n can post on insta but not respond to her best friends i see how it is😔

Beoneon

Woahhhh Y/N your hair

Jamiezzz

you can compliment but she’s not gonna respond😭😤

You sigh, your front teeth latching onto your bottom lip. 

You feel bad, to put it plainly. 

It’s not like you’re intentionally trying to ignore all of your friends… you just feel uncomfortable talking when you know Seungyoun will read it.

You

thanks vernon :)

sorry weve had a lot of shoots and stuff recently i dont have much time to be on my phone

Hyunggu🤪

She’s alive

Jamiezzz

wait y/n are you sleeping and eating :(

you were sick

You

im ok

Jamiezzz

take care of urself and ur new awesome hair girlie

You

sure thing

“Y/N-unnie,” 

You turn your head to see Soohyun looking over at you, her brows furrowed. “You look stressed.”

“...No,” you smile, shaking your head. You reach over and take her hand, squeezing it. “I’m totally fine.”

“And then they made me wear this,” you find the picture you’d been looking for in your camera roll and turn your phone around, displaying the bizarre outfit you’d had to wear for a recent magazine spread. “Like, what is that? I’m embarrassed that documentation of this even exists.”

“It’s not that bad,” Wooseok hums, taking a bite of his cake. He does it delicately, and with a degree of elegance, like he does pretty much everything.

You huff, turning your phone off and setting it down on the table. “Well, thanks, I guess. I’m still in shock though.”

“By the way, Y/N,” Wooseok starts as you dig your fork into your own dessert, lifting a sizable chunk of the cheesecake to your mouth. “Why do you keep asking for me to meet up with you?”

You frown as soon as the words leave his mouth, setting the fork with your cake back down on the plate. “What?”

He shrugs, but it almost looks tense. Wooseok avoids meeting your eyes as he talks, instead trailing his fork around on the plate in front of him. “We agreed on me not spying on Seungyoun for you anymore. That was the whole reason we met up and ate together, but you’ve still been contacting me.”

You lean back in your chair, regarding him with furrowed brows and teeth latching onto your lower lip. “I don’t… are you saying it’s bothersome to meet up with me?”

Wooseok’s eyes flash up. “I didn’t say that. I’m just-”

“Well it feels like you’re saying that.” you cut him off, grip on your fork tightening as you look down at the table. “You could have just turned me down if you don’t like seeing me.”

“You’re not a bother, Y/N,” Wooseok says, and since you can practically hear the apology in his voice, you glance up to meet his gaze. It’s one of the few times you’ve seen him truly frown. “I shouldn’t have said it that way. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t really know what you’re trying to say,” you mutter, looking away again. “I didn’t just cut you off after the ‘no more Seungyoun updates’ thing because I like you and I want to be friends with you. Sorry if you didn’t feel that way.”

“Y/N-ah,” Wooseok says, clearly trying to get your attention, but you ignore him, because you feel a little hurt. “Y/N-ah. That’s not what I meant.”

“Okay, then what did you mean?” you ask, knowing bitterness is seeping into your tone. 

“I just thought that… you might be trying to make up for asking me that favor in the first place.” at this, you look up, confused. Wooseok fidgets a little, which is uncharacteristic for him. “I could tell that you were feeling uncomfortable about it that day that I came to get you from Jimin-ssi’s place. I thought you might be feeling guilty, so I was going to tell you that you didn’t have to be.”

“...Oh.” you say. 

It’s quiet for a second, because as a somewhat emotional person, you need a moment to recover from what you thought was about to become a total betrayal of your friendship with Wooseok, and you think he might feel a little awkward.

After you’ve had a minute to contemplate what he just told you, you sit up and take that bite of cheesecake you’d been preparing before, looking at Wooseok with all (probably not all, realistically… but most) of the distress wiped from your face. “You’re kind of right. I did feel guilty about it due to certain circumstances, but that’s not why I keep in touch with you. I just like you. And it’s fun having a friend that isn’t friends with the rest of my friends.”

One corner of Wooseok’s lips turns up, in that almost smirky way that he often does. Subconsciously, you think. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“...Can you apologize one more time though? Because that kind of upset me for a second.”

At this, he chuckles quietly. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

About twenty minutes later, after Wooseok has documented the outing with a picture of you and the food (he says he likes doing that because he can’t post pictures of most of his idol friends on social media) you leave the dessert cafe and head out onto the streets of Seoul together. You’re in a quieter area with a lot of parks, but since it’s nighttime, there’s not many people around aside from the occasional group of teenagers or drunk couple.

Eunmi is currently covering for you by having told your manager that the two of you went out for dinner together even though she’s actually just at her brother’s house, so you’ll have to meet up with her soon and go home. But for now, you’re enjoying walking around in the cold air with Wooseok.

He’s been quiet for a few minutes, though, and you’re considering questioning it when he finally speaks up.

“I know you said that day that you didn’t want to talk about it,” Wooseok starts, looking straight ahead as you two walk through a park. “But I can’t lie that I’m not curious. What made you not want to hear about Seungyoun anymore?”

You glance over at Wooseok, biting hard on your lower lip. You’re not sure if you really want to say.

He looks to the side to meet your gaze, and holds it. “He’s seemed uncomfortable too, the past couple of weeks. He was in his room when I got back after taking you home that night, and Seungwoo-hyung said he went straight there when he came back to the dorm. Did something happen between you two?”

You tug on your fingers, pulling at the fabric of your gloves, and look away from Wooseok, coming to a stop. “Not really. I mean, a little bit, but it wasn’t like…” 

You sigh, feeling without being able to see the judgemental look Wooseok is definitely giving you right now. “Basically, Seungyoun-oppa brought a girl with him to this get-together thing. I didn’t even know he was coming so it was kinda a shock, but she seemed nice and Jimin-unnie even said they were friends so I went with it. But this girl got me alone with her at one point and asked…” you sigh again, clasping your hands together. “She wanted me to pretty much do what you were doing for me. See what Seungyoun was saying about her, get him to like her and make her look good to him. I guess that… it just made me regret having asked that of you. Maybe it’s also because I was kind of drunk, but I almost threw up, too.”

“...Oh. I see.” Wooseok says plainly. You glance up to see his expression, expecting the judgemental look, but he just looks… concerned? “You never asked me to make you look good to Seungyoun, though. You just asked me to tell you what he says about you. Those are different.”

You shrug. “I guess. It felt the same, though. That’s why I wanted to tell you that you don’t have to anymore right away. And I really wanted to leave. There was no way I was going to be able to hang out with this girl after she told me that she’s in love with him.”

“In love with him?” Wooseok scoffs. “What’s her name? That seems dramatic to me.”

You crack a smile. “Her name was Sahee.”

Wooseok gives an unimpressed look. “Well he’s never even mentioned her, so I doubt that she’s that important to him.”

You shrug again.

After a moment, Wooseok continues. “So nothing happened at all between you and Seungyoun?”

You rub your arm, sending a grim smile his way. “Geez, you really want to know, don’t you?”

He tucks his hands in his pockets. “It’s just that I can tell something is weird between you two, and I don’t even see you at the same time.”

“Well, it wasn’t much,” you say, accepting your fate and just deciding to tell him. “Sahee must have told him I was feeling sick, so he came to check on me, and wanted to take me home. I told him I’d take a taxi… that was after I texted you. He was insisting at least on taking me downstairs but I didn’t really want to see him in that moment, plus it’s not like I was actually planning on a taxi, so…” you shake your head, sighing once again. “I don’t know. I guess I kind of hurt his feelings in the process.”

“If you were rude to him you should think about apologizing,” Wooseok says bluntly.

Wow. Absolutely no mercy.

“Yeah, I mean… I figured…” you mumble, crossing your arms. “I don’t really know if it was rude though. It was more like… uncalled for.”

“That means rude in most people’s vocabulary,” Wooseok says with a sigh, then starts walking again, which means you have to as well to keep up. “Anyway, he keeps being mopey so even if you don’t apologize, text him or something.”

“Can’t you tell him to text me first?” you mutter, not intending for Wooseok to hear, but you guess that he does by the glare you see him shoot you from your peripherals.

“No.”

You groan. “Okay, maybe tomorrow. No promises though.”

“You’re such a kid,” Wooseok says, but when you look over, he’s smiling. “Want a ride home?”

“You don’t have to,” you say, but he shakes his head. 

“Just accept. I’m avoiding going back to the dorm for as long as possible because Eunsang and Dohyon decided they wanted to host a ‘video game night’, and I don’t want my ears to bleed from the inevitable noise.”

You laugh loudly, already being able to imagine how much that would get on a lowkey person like Wooseok’s nerves. “Alright then. I’ll accept the ride home.”

You have a preliminary recording session the next day for your group’s next album, which is set to come out in March. Jiseo wanted you all to come in just to check out the current tracklist the company has agreed on and maybe start recording some vocals to see if it feels right.

You’ve been at it since the morning, and now that it’s lunchtime, you’re sitting in the room connected to the studio with the girls, who are all on their phones like you. You finished eating a while ago, and now you’re just staring at the messages you have with Seungyoun. You’ve never deleted his tab on your phone, so if you scroll up far enough, you’d be able to read the first ever text you sent him. Which was, if you remember correctly: “Hi Seungyoun-sunbaenim! It was nice to meet you :)”. That was the day after you were first introduced.

You sigh, setting your phone down and dropping your forehead to the table.

“What’s up with her?” Jiseo says with her mouth full. 

“Maybe you were right about emotional turmoil,” Eunmi muses. 

You lift your head up. “Do you have to gossip about me when I’m right here?”

“Duh.” Soohyun says, so you reach over and smack her arm (gently, you may add), which she whines dramatically at. 

“What? Did something happen with Kim Wooseok yesterday night?” Eunmi asks, and you groan.

“No, unnie. Can you stop trying to act like he’s my boyfriend?”

“No, I cannot,” she responds, sticking out her tongue.

“Leave her to her emotional issues,” Jiseo says, once again through her chewing. “Eunmi-yah, Soohyun-ah, let’s go back in since you’re done eating. Y/N-ah, just come when you’re ready.”

“Thanks, unnie,” you tell her honestly as she leads the other girls out of the room, Soohyun scrunching up her nose at you before she closes the door.

You grab your phone again and look at the screen.

It’s been a while since you last texted Seungyoun. Not since November. It hits you that it’s been months since you had a real conversation with him, and you feel bad all over again.

Hey :) I just wanted to say sorry if I was acting weird at Jimin-unnie’s house that one time. I felt really sick and I think the alcohol was getting to me.

You type out the message, but your thumb hovers hesitantly over the send button. You end up pressing and holding on delete until the whole thing is gone.

Oppa, sorry for being rude that night. I wasn’t feeling well. 

You read that one over a few times, and delete it too. 

Seungyoun-oppa, I can’t remember well, but I think I was kind of rude to you that day at Jimin-unnie’s house. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it

You bite your lip, and then in a sudden moment of “who gives a fuck”, just hit send.

And then immediately groan at what you’ve done. 

“Dumbass,” you mutter to yourself. “You remember everything.”

With a shake of your head, you get up and start gathering the takeout your group members had left on the table, probably thinking they’d just clean it up after. You throw everything that’s empty away, and then close up the containers of what isn’t done, stacking it in the middle of the table.

And then your phone starts ringing.

You nearly knock over the stack of styrofoam boxes it surprises you so much. You hurriedly walk back to where you were sitting, and pick up your phone, going cold when you see who’s calling.

“Fuck,” you whisper, your screen enveloped by that dumb picture of Seungyoun in the glasses. At least he’s just calling and it’s not Facetime.

You hit answer, unable to actually miss his call on purpose, and bring the phone up to your ear. “Hello?”

“Y/N-ah?” Seungyoun’s voice sounds out immediately, and the tension in your body skyrockets as you sit back down in your chair. “Is this a bad time?”

“No, I have a few minutes,” you answer, glancing through the window in the door to the recording studio, where you can barely see Jiseo and Soohyun with headphones on, Eunmi most likely recording some background vocals.

“Oh, good,” he breathes. “You… you got home okay that night?”

“Yeah, um, there were tons of taxis around,” you nod even though he can’t see you.

“Good,” Seungyoun repeats. “Were you really sick? Or did it pass the next day?”

“I think it was just the alcohol,” you try to reassure him. “I hadn’t drank for at least a month before that.”

“You don’t always drink like that, right?” he asks, then sighs, almost sounding a little strained. “It kind of worries me.”

“Why would you worry about that kind of stuff?” you ask, frowning. “You know I don’t get drunk easily.”

“Yeah, but look at what happened,” Seungyoun retorts. “You looked like you were about to pass out but you didn’t even want me to take you home. Someone in their right mind doesn’t act like that if they’re not totally wasted.”

You nearly let the words slip out: “There was more to it than that”.

But you snap your mouth shut before they do.

“I just feel like…” Seungyoun sighs again, sharper this time. “You never let me be worried about you. You brush it off every single time. It’s frustrating, Y/N.”

You’re at a loss for words.

Just... what?

“That’s not-” you start, then let out your own sharp sigh. “I don’t see how that’s a bad thing, though. You already have so many things going on, and I don’t want to be a burden, so-”

“When did I ever say that you’re a burden?” Seungyoun exclaims, interrupting. “You just assumed that! It’s like you want to be friends, but you don’t want me to actually care about you or be there for you!”

“That is not true,” you snap, your grip on your phone tightening. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Seungyoun.”

“I know exactly what I’m talking about,” he responds, note of frustration evident in his voice. “You haven’t been the same the past few months. You just haven’t.”

“Whatever,” you say, knowing it’s bratty. “You think you know everything but you can’t even see how oblivious you are.”

You know you’re edging on dangerous territory here, but the way he’s talking to you is making a frustration at him swell up that you’ve never felt before.

“Oblivious?” Seungyoun scoffs, a sharp laugh following. “Come on, Y/N.”

“What, you think it’s funny?” you question, hearing the hostility in your voice. “Did you stop to wonder what your friend Sahee was saying to me on the balcony? Did you even notice we were out there together before she went to tell you I was sick?”

“What are you even talking about?” he asks. “This isn’t the point right now-”

“It’s exactly the point, you don’t think you’re oblivious, but you were friends with her for years and never noticed that she’s in love with you!” you snap, your voice rising in volume over the sentence. 

Seungyoun is silent after that, and the sense of regret starts to seep in instantly as you realize what you’ve done.

“...What did you say?” he asks, his voice quiet this time. “Sahee told you that she’s in love with me?”

You don’t answer, but he must take it as a yes.

Seungyoun is quiet still, but you can picture him, wherever he is, throwing his head back, pushing his hair through his fingers in agitation.

“Fuck,” he finally mumbles.

“I’m sorry,” you say, your voice small as your throat starts to close up. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No fucking kidding, Y/N,” Seungyoun says sharply. You can hear his grit teeth through the closed sound of his words.

You breathe in a heavy breath, trying not to start crying even though you can feel the tears welling up. “I’m sorry. Oppa, just pretend I didn’t say that-”

“L/N F/N,” he says, and you stop immediately. “Just don’t.”

You sniffle, holding the phone away from you so he can’t hear you as the tears start rolling down your cheeks. 

“Fuck,” you hear Seungyoun repeat. “Fuck, I can’t believe this… all that time and she never told me?”

You hold back a sob, almost choking on it.

It almost sounds like he’s talking about you.

This is why he can never find out.

This is why you’ll never be able to tell him.

You let out just the first broken part of the kind of shuddering breath you take when you’re crying, and Seungyoun’s mumbling stops.

“Shit, Y/N-ah? Are you crying?”

You can’t find the voice to answer him, just trying hard not to openly cry.

“Y/N-ah,” he repeats. You hear Wooseok’s voice in your head from yesterday. Y/N-ah. That’s not what I meant.

“Y/N-ah, please don’t cry. Fuck, fuck.”

“I’m sorry,” you manage to get out, your voice tight and thin. 

“No, it’s okay,” Seungyoun says quickly. “Don’t cry. I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you, I’m just shocked, listen, it’s okay, okay? Y/N-ah, don’t cry. I swear I’m not mad.”

“I’ll hang up now,” you say, taking another shuddering breath. “Please don’t tell Sahee I told you.”

“Don’t hang up,” Seungyoun scrambles to tell you. “L/N F/N, please don’t hang up right now-”

You pull the phone away from your face and tap the red button, and set it facedown on the table. It starts ringing again right away.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Jiseo’s voice sounds out from the doorway to the recording studio. You look up, and she gasps. “Yah, Y/N! Why are you crying?”

“Unnie,” you whimper, wiping at your eyes. “My heart really hurts right now.”

“Hey!” Jiseo shouts into the other room. “Everyone get in here!”

She walks over to your, pulling another chair up and quickly wrapping her arms around you, the ringing of your phone becoming background noise. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s okay.”

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

It doesn’t feel okay to you.

You are still in love with Cho Seungyoun.

And he will never know.

[romewritingshop]

Wake up Parker! - Chapter 8: Plans for the Future?

Relationship: Peter Parker x Tall Older Reader (Peter is 22 and Reader is 26/27)

Warnings: None

Word Count Total: 1173 (This Chapter)

Summary: Peter Parker is a student in the city of Brooklyn. He’s lazy, spoilt and he procrastinates a lot. He meets a woman named (Y/N), She’s recently moved to Brooklyn for an independent life. Something Peter is fascinated by. Over the course of a few months, Peter needs to realise that he has to grow up and become responsible for his life.

Tagged: @bggerbtch​

WAKE UP PARKER! MASTERLIST

It took (Y/N) a few weeks to renovate the apartment. After going through the rental agreement and signing the papers, apartment 12 became (Y/N)’s. Peter brought his friends Michelle, Ned and Betty to help (Y/N) to decorate. Peter had so much fun. (Y/N) was also enjoying the hard tiring process and she made sure that Peter did the heavy lifting. They cleared up the cobwebs in the apartment and repainted. The walls were a nice marigold colour and the wood floor sparkled. The first door on the left of the apartment was (Y/N)’s bedroom. The bed had purple duvets and fluffy blue pillows.

(Y/N) laughed as Peter tried to show off his strength by bringing the box of (Y/N)’s bed up the stairs. It was hard work but Peter’s excitement motivated (Y/N) to finish the renovation. Peter built the bed frame, with the help of instructions. There was a white wardrobe adjacent to the door and (Y/N) had set up a really cute window seat just opposite to the bedroom door. The bathroom looked much cleaner and she bought a nice floral shower curtain. As soon as you stepped through the front door of the apartment, you’d see a filled bookshelf behind a small round dining table with four chairs.

(Y/N) remembered the day her trunk of mementos came to her door. It had her things from her bedroom in her family's house. Fairy lights, picture frames and a lot of books. Peter’s face was funny as he seemed distraught by the amount of books (Y/N) had. To the right of the apartment, (Y/N) had a green sofa which doubled as a bed. Opposite that was a TV. A small cosy living room and the kitchen looked much nicer with green painted cupboards. This was (Y/N)’s apartment and Peter felt joy that he had been a part of the renovation process. He felt honoured that (Y/N) wanted his help to make the dump a home.

Peter smiled as he remembered the decorating at (Y/N)’s house. Peter was stuck at this party his parents’ were having. Apparently, the security AI had been finished and it was ready to launch. F.R.I.D.A.Y was the name of the A.I. Morgan's idea. Mr. Stark was having a party to celebrate the launch, in the house. Everyone was dressed in glamourous suits: The men were in black and white tuxedos and the women wore rainbows of dresses. Peter was the only one who had dressed down. Staying in dark blue denim jeans and grey shirt with Dastardly and Muttley on the front.

Peter had just come from day out with friends and couldn’t be bothered to change. He spotted Mrs. Stark in a nice blue silk dress and he approached her, apologising.

“Sorry, I’m late, Mrs. Stark.”

“It’s fine Peter. Hurry up and change before Tony sees you like this.”

“Too late.”

Peter and Pepper turn to see Morgan in a pink tulle dress and a floral pink hairband. Morgan looked like a flower girl at a wedding as she stomped to Peter.

“Dad’s already seen you and he’s not happy.”

“Right. I’ll go change.”

It was too late for Peter to go as Mr. Stark was approaching the three of them. Followed by a bald man and two women.

“Pepper, this is Adrian Toomes. We used to work together at S.H.I.E.L.D security before the company shut down."

Pepper smiled and shook Adrian's hand.

"Adrian, this is my wife Pepper, daughter Morgan and son, Peter."

Morgan and Peter politely greeted Mr. Toomes, who smiled and patted Mr. Stark's shoulder.

"Tony, you should've told me it was a casual party. I would've dressed down like Peter."

The Starks' awkwardly smiled at Adrian's comment and Peter rubbed his neck nervously. It was an unnecessary comment but luckily Mr. Stark managed to clear the air before the awkwardness settled.

"Peter just came from a training course at my company, which is why he's a little undressed."

Peter inwardly thanked Mr. Stark for making an excuse. Peter was going to change but he didn't have the opportunity to. Mr. Toomes gave a nod as he turned to introduce his wife and daughter. "I see. This is my wife, Doris and that's my daughter Elizabeth."

Elizabeth was dressed in a simple blue dress and her hair was accompanied by a small hairband. She was pretty and a little taller than Peter. Mr. Toomes was telling the Starks and Peter, how successful his daughter is.

"Liz just got back from England. She was getting a design degree at Oxford University. She's brilliant! I told her to join my company, but she says she is still thinking. This generation, I tell you. They want to be independent. Don't you think so?"

Peter couldn't care less. Liz seemed nice and pretty but Peter just wanted to be somewhere else. Pepper nudged his arm a little and Peter snapped back into the conversation. Turns out Adrian was asking him something. 

"So, Peter? Made any plans for your future yet?"

"At the moment, Mr. Toomes, I'm going through an internship at Stark Security -"

His phone began to ring as Peter fished his phone out from his pocket. It was an unknown number and Peter was a little curious. So he turned to the Toomes and Starks, excusing himself before disappearing to the hallway of his house. Mr. Toomes watched Peter disappear and turned to Stark.

"Seems to be a busy man! So, Tony, your son's all grown up now, huh? Do you think he's ready to take over your business?"

Tony grimaced slightly as he glanced towards Peter's direction. There was a point where he wanted Peter to lead the company on with his advice. But recent events have proven Peter as irresponsible and unreliable. Always disappearing during the day and coming home late at night. He watched Peter talk on the phone and smile. Tony carefully worded his answer.

"Who knows? He's also still thinking. But enough of our kids. Let's talk business."

Peter had disappeared into the hallway and he answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello! Hey, it's (Y/N). I finally got a phone and I saved your number from when we finished renovating."

"Hey! How've you been?"

"I've been great. What about you?"

"Okay. Just bored at the moment. Mr. Stark's throwing a party."

"Aw. Well I guess that means you can't come to my house for a little hang out?"

"Are you kidding me? I'd rather be at your place then at home. Give me ten minutes, I'll be over."

Peter hung up the phone before letting (Y/N) respond. He glanced around cautiously, ensuring that no one was watching him. He grabbed the car keys from the kitchen and walked out the front door. Taking his dad's car and driving to (Y/N)'s apartment. Anywhere else was better than Mr. Stark's party.

CHAPTER NINE: HAPPY BIRTHDAY

[therainroguefanfiction]

༄ How To Save A Life… » original

Genre: Slice of Life, Angst

Word Count: 2,003

Pairing: None

World: Original

WARNING: This fic mentions anxiety, social anxiety, loneliness, self-harm and depression.

━━━━━━༻🌧️༺━━━━━━

It’s amazing, how such a simple gesture can mean so much to a person. They may not even realize the impact that they made, despite how big it may be. Human beings have the power to connect in a way that goes beyond any other species, but they don’t always choose to do so. With a simple act, a person can change another’s life, whether for good or bad. That kind of power is dangerous, so I suppose it’s a good thing that most human beings don’t realize they actually possess such a thing.

The more I think about it, the more it scares me. But I guess that doesn’t mean much, seeing how afraid I am of other humans in general. I really didn’t like other people, and I absolutely hate the way they make me feel when I’m around them. I go out of my way to avoid other people, and I make sure that I don’t get into any type of fights or altercations with others. I seem to have a skill, though, that makes people hate me with every fiber of their being. It’s been that way since I was a child.

Back then, I strived to get close to other people; all I wanted was a single person I could call a friend. It didn’t work out like I had hoped or like it always does on television. I didn’t fit in with any of the groups around me, even though I went out of my way to change myself to fit them. I did many things I shouldn’t have, that I still regret to this day, just to get them to like me, but they wouldn’t, they refused to accept me. They used me for what they could get, got a good laugh, and then dumped me to the side like roadkill.

It was frustrating, sure, but more than anything else, it just plain hurt. It wasn’t physical, so there was no amount of medicine that I could take that would cure the pain. I refused to do drugs and I refused to go out and get drunk just to forget. I suppose what I did choose to do was just as bad, though. Instead of drugs or alcohol, I turned to cutting. It terrified me every time I placed the smooth blade to my pale skin. Even though I was in so much pain, I didn’t want to die.

I was afraid to die.

I loved the world, I just hated the people in it.

Still, I slid the blade across my skin despite my fear. It was never deep enough to put me in harm’s way, which proves how much of a coward I really am – it’s pretty sad. It was no deeper than a cat scratch, but it still stung and throbbed, and little diamonds of blood covered it like a blanket. It was enough to make me feel better, for a few minutes, before I started to feel stupid for what I was doing to myself. That just made the situation worse.

I already hated myself for various reasons – fat, ugly, and above all else, unable to do anything right, just to name the main ones – and now I had cutting to add to my list. I was a despicable human being, I still am, but at least I can handle it a bit better now. I don’t cut anymore, though it does cross my mind occasionally.

Perhaps that’s a side effect of the crazy pills that I’m on now.

Though the pills do ease the fear of human beings, it can’t take it away. It’s still there, lingering just beneath the surface, waiting for me to feel safe and secure before it winds its black arms around me like death coming from the shadows. It grips my throat until I can’t breathe, and chains my heart so tight that it hurts every time it beats.

Sometimes I would envision myself in a barren wasteland, filled with nothing but rock formations that towered over me like skyscrapers. I could see chains binding my wrists to a metal plate in the ground, one that refused to budge so much as half an inch. The ground would crack beneath me, and lava would begin to seep through, but I couldn’t run away.

I could never run away.

I often wondered if someone could come to my rescue, to take me away, but I hated how that sounded. One thing I didn’t like – besides people -, was being a damsel in distress that needed a knight in shining armor to come to rescue her. Really, I’d be fine with just having someone that was a true friend, but after a while, I started to doubt the meaning of that word. I actually looked it up, and the definition only filled me with misery, knowing that I’d never have such a relationship.

Sure, there were people that tolerated me and my smart ass quips, like my co-workers, but something deep down told me they didn’t actually like me. I’m positive they only act nice because we have to see each other every week, and often are put together on projects. The day goes by in a painfully slow manner when you’re working with someone and there’s nothing but lightning between you – sadly, I know this because I just recently learned the true nature of my friend, who believes she’s done nothing wrong.

But I’m probably mostly to blame, anyway.

I guess I got a little off point, here, and for that, I apologize. I’m sure my ramblings mean nothing to you. So, let me spare you further hell, and begin telling you my boring, bang-your-head-against-a-brick-wall story.

Everything began when I was twenty-years-old, working at the local J.C. Penneys in the mall. It was my second job, and although my bosses were lenient and pleasant to be around – most of the time -, I still hated it. Not only because I was lazy, but because I hated having to deal with customers. Dealing with the people I worked with was one thing, but having the thought of being thrown onto the register with a customer was like staring my own death in the face.

Wait, I take that back. I’d rather stare death in the face than be on the register with customers.

Thankfully, this rat has learned to hide and run from customers – which would probably get me fired if anyone knew I did that since the company was one of those customer first types. That’s also why I do my very best to keep these thoughts tucked away from prying eyes. I mean, I hated being out there with people, but I needed the money. And in what other job would you be able to cower in an air-conditioned stock room by yourself, with no one to deal with but the massive racks of clothes that needed to be priced? It was heaven, really, but it didn’t happen very often.

I guess in a way I rely on my co-workers more than I should. With them around, I can roll the customer off onto them and get away scot-free. They don’t mind since they can actually handle having a simple conversation with other people.

It was the beginning of Spring, the beginning of April, and although it had been slightly chilly as of late, Florida was beginning to warm up. I didn’t mind the rare thirty-degree weather, it was the eighty-degree humidity covered weather that sent me to the floor panting and begging my family to move to Antarctica. I was very sensitive to heat, of any kind, which is another thing I can add to my pathetic list.

Nothing really special was happening in my life at the time, not like it ever did at any other time. I woke up last minute, rushed off to work, grit my teeth and tried not to harm myself just to be sent home, and when I finally would make it home, I’d flop in front of the computer where I stayed until it was time to go to bed.

See, rather than being one of those kids that goes out and parties the night away, having sex with every guy that smiles at her, I’ve always been the nerdy kid that sat at home, with no friends, playing video games and screwing around online. If anything, that’s the only thing I can say I like about myself. Of course, I probably would have done those things if I had actually had friends to coax me into them – I cave easily, remember?

That Monday, I expected the same routine.

I was only working six hours, so I just bit the inside of my cheek and decided to bare it, just like I did every other day that I worked at this godforsaken clothing store – I didn’t even like fashion, for fuck’s sake. That should be pretty obvious since I only ever come to work in t-shirts, jeans, and dirty sneakers that were falling apart – thank you, Walmart, for your wonderful quality in shoes.

I said goodbye to my mother, and promised to call her which I had no intention of doing – I mean, come on, I only get fifteen minutes, and I fully intend on spending those minutes trying to stay alive!

Since it was seven in the morning, and the store did not open until ten, I was forced to stand there looking like an idiot, pushing the little white button until my supervisor came power walking to the door with the keys. The older woman would smile and greet me with the typical good morning routine before telling me what I would be doing that day.

After her explanation, I’d take the elevator to the second floor – and god was it slow – before heading to the pricing office. Just like always, my team was already back there, scrambling around getting pricing books and sheets, picking out the cart they wanted, and trying to find a scanner that actually worked – those were few and far between, believe me.

The women would greet me, but it was nothing beyond a simple ‘good morning‘. Though I wanted to say something else, I never did, because I never knew what to say, and I knew I could never hold a conversation without doing something I’d regret. It was easier just to keep it short and simple. Seeing these women did make me feel a bit happy, even though we weren’t friends. I liked their presence, and they could be rather funny when they worked together.

Today we were looking for clearance in the Men’s department. Apparently, we had about fifty sheets of stuff to find, though I was sure we’d only be successful in about half the list, if that.

When nine-forty rolled around, I attended the meeting just so I could sit down for a few minutes, though nothing they discussed had anything to do with my team and, to be completely honest, I could care less about who got the most ICAPS, and who got the best reviews on the survey.

Good for them.

Give ’em a damn cookie and move on.

I took my time after the meeting ended because I decided to take my break now, so I could have fifteen more minutes without the threat of customers. I always did this when I worked six-hour days; it was starting to become a routine.

With those fifteen minutes, I spent them in the air-conditioned break room, in the back corner – or emo corner, as I’ve officially dubbed it -, trying to collect my thoughts and prepare myself for the horrible experience I was going to be throwing myself into it. It took a lot to calm myself down, but I managed it, just like always.

If only I had known how different that day was going to be.

If only I had known what was really going to happen to me that day.

I really should have stayed home.

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[perfectlywisedelusions]

A Diagnostic Almost-Essay On The Last Airbender Movie

The Last Airbender is one of the many bad book and/or anime adaptations that have plagued the 2000s. Like all of these rage-inducing two-hour long torture sessions seemingly designed to make fandoms crawl into a corner and cry, The Last Airbender was incredibly unfaithful to the beloved source material. But there are two differences that set this movie apart from all the other depressing studio flops-namely, the fact that the show was made in America, and the fact that the movie fails as a movie and an adaptation. It has always been a divisive factor among ATLA fans on whether or not the show is an anime. It’s made in the anime style, but it was also made in the US. Most anime adaptations that fail miserably can probably be attributed to the fact they were made by studio executives who would never want to watch the source material and as such completely miss the point of the original. For the Last Airbender, though, it was a massive hit in the US. M. Night Shyamalan said he took on the project because his daughter was a big fan. The show has a clear plot and tone, and it’s even in English to make things easy for the screenwriters. (Except that there were none. It was written by M. Night Shyamalan.) So how did a $150 million blockbuster manage to fail to successfully adapt a children’s Nickelodeon show? By putting M. Night Shyamalan in charge. Shyamalan had only really made horror movies, and his most recent ones had been less than successful. A struggling horror director whose trademarks are a bunch of characters staying in one location in a realistic setting as they undergo internal struggle and mounting suspense seems a great choice to direct a fun action adventure movie that relies on different locations in a fantasy world, right? Needless to say, Shyamalan was out of his depth, and it really shows in the movie. It starts out strong, with the Nickelodeon logo and the classic shots of 4 benders bending their respective elements against a red background. And then, rather than transitioning to the iconic opening narration, we get Nicola Peltz reading a bunch of exposition in the same manner than an embarrassed elementary schooler would read an essay in front of the class. And then, as if we weren’t tired of listening to this girl talking, we get voiceover from her explaining who the characters in the scene are and what they are doing. This does not go away. It is in the entire movie. You will become very sick of Nicola Peltz’s voice by the end of the movie, but you don’t notice it because you have either a.) turned the movie off and/or left, or b.) you are too distracted by everything else. If the incredibly amateurish opening exposition dump isn’t enough of a red flag for you, then the sight of our two main heroes should be. Avatar: The Last Airbender is a very diverse show, representing Japanese, Chinese, Inuit, and Tibetan cultures as well as others. The first shot shows white actors playing characters who are decidedly not white. It would be slightly more forgivable if the actors were decent. But they’re not. Nicola Peltz, who plays Katara, supposedly got the role because her father was big in the production of the movie. And the actor who plays Sokka, Jackson Rathbone, is perhaps best known as a background character in Twilight. Clearly, this movie has a high caliber for acting. When we eventually meet Aang, he is also white and played by Noah Ringer. Noah Ringer was cast as the lead role in a $150 million dollar film because he could do martial arts. He landed the lead in a blockbuster movie with zero acting experience. The awful acting is a lot like the Phantom Menace, except nowhere near as funny. Every single character in the movie acts strangely. One noteworthy thing about the show is that it develops every character, giving them realistic traits and flaws that allow us to see them grow as well as giving them lovable personalities. (Except Azula and Fire Lord Ozai. They’re just evil. But they’re really good villains.) In the movie, everyone just says their lines with varying degrees of emotion. (Or lack of it.) Things like character traits or, you know, personality, are completely forgotten about even though we need to see these things on screen. It’s not like they had to write a whole cast of characters from scratch. M. Night Shyamalan was literally given characters with traits, backstories, flaws, conflicts, and motivations-basically everything needed to make a movie. But he failed spectacularly. What’s really sad is that Noah Ringer is apparently really friendly, and played jokes on the cast offscreen. Sounds like a certain beloved character, doesn’t it? If M. Night Shyamalan had just let Noah be himself, we could have had a decent Aang. I mean Ong. Because not only are the character’s appearances and personalities butchered, their names are too. Aang, Sokka, Iroh, and even the word Avatar are all mispronounced. M. Night Shyamalan said that this was to be true to the Asian pronunciations of the name, which could be understood if he hadn’t whitewashed the cast. Not to mention the fact that the lore of the show is completely changed for no reason. This lore is very important in later seasons, but M. Night Shyamalan decides to just change it. After the initial rage over the blatant disrespect to the show, viewers may notice the incredibly rushed pacing. 5 minutes after finding Aang, Katara decides he is her responsibility, despite the fact she doesn’t even know his name. 2 minutes after that, they are best friends and traveling the world together. Then Aang gets captured without a fight and is taken to a camp designed to imprison people who can control rocks. This prison consists of low, naturally occurring walls made of rocks. After an amazing fight scene were six men do an intense dance to move a tiny rock very slowly toward one firebender, the movie, unfortunately, continues. They rush through one of my favorite episodes, the Blue Spirit, and what is a great fight in the show is, again, incredibly lame. Then our group of “heroes” make it to the Northern Water Tribe, and Sokka and the princess “become close friends right away”. Basically, rather than showing these two characters becoming friends, we are told exactly this line this by Katara. After exactly one scene together, which is really just exposition (again) Sokka and the princess fall in love. Then the bad guys attack, with drill helmets, another really dumb battle happens, a fish is made into fish sticks, and the princess, who we have known for literally five minutes, dies in a very moving scene because we all care so much about her. Then Aang makes a giant wave and lets it down gently rather than turning into Koizilla and the movie ends. And just as you are about to sigh in relief because it’s over, we see Azula in a cliffhanger because the creators of this abomination thought it was good and they were going to make a sequel. Then we get the best part of the movie, the end credits. The credits not only mean that the movie is over (thankfully) but the animation they added in isn’t bad. The movie is awful and no one likes it. It’s a bad adaptation and a bad movie. Either it’s the movie version of the Ember Island Players play or “there is no movie in Ba Sing Se.” There’s supposed to be a live action show on Netflix but the creators left and almost no one has any hope for it anymore. Long story short, this movie was doomed because they left out the most important character, the Cabbage Merchant. Although even he and his ill-fated cabbages could not have saved this movie. 

[stahlop]

(Even before I met you) I was far from indifferent to you (1/1)

Hello all! This is my submission for @csseptembersunshine.

From this prompt: Au where Liam and Emma are roommates and Killian and Belle are roommates. Since neither Jones brother has a date for the family Christmas party, they bring Emma and Belle.The fun starts when Liam lays eyes on Belle and Killian sees Emma and their jaws hit the floor. Cue both brothers whispering furiously to the other “Why didn’t you tell me your roommate was that gorgeous?” 

And this comment:

@csprompter 

There seems to be an awful lot of interest here! I for one would love Killian always hearing about Liam's roommate in very general terms, thinking he was just another guy from the Boston PD, until he finally meets her and Bloody hell...

Thank you @profdanglaisstuff for being my beta and making sure my tenses are all correct, because apparently that’s a problem I have :p

Also on Ao3

Killian is forced to bring a date to his parents Christmas party and is shocked that Liam is bring his homicide detective partner, Swan, who as far Killian knows, is a man. 

Rated T

In his many years on earth, Killian Jones had always been a ladies man. When he began the eighth grade at the age of 13 he noticed how the girls flocked to him. His perpetual bedhead was now considered attractive. His deep blue eyes and long lashes no longer feminine, but alluring. His British accent that had once been a source of mockery from his classmates now pleasing to the ear. He had never had so many girls want to be his partner for class projects or labs.

When Killian turned 16, the body hair went full blast. Thick, luscious chest hair that the girls liked to touch and run their fingers through. His brunette locks full of body and styled carefully to look like he woke up with that hair, but not enough product so the girls who wanted to run their fingers through it would get it stuck. He still wasn’t able to grow a beard or mustache yet, but he knew that would come in time. He tended to have several girls asking him to the Sadie Hawkins dance each year.

In college the facial hair came. Killian thought it looked best with a few days growth, and kept it trimmed and neat. The ladies flocked to him and he had several teaching assistants who seemed to think his grades could improve if he would take them out. He was taught good form by his older brother, Liam, so no funny business. But there was nothing wrong with taking a slightly older woman out for a good time and possibly getting a higher grade in his engineering courses because of it.

And Killian enjoyed the ladies. He would usually carouse the bars and share a bed with one for a night every other weekend, maybe once a month. While he did have a reputation for being a ladies man, he really didn’t want to be that guy, the single guy who can’t be in a monogamous relationship. And so, at the age of 25, he stopped picking up women at bars just to sleep with them and actually tried to get to know them. Some scoffed that the pretty boy would want anything more than just a one-nighter, some he honestly did try with, but they didn’t share any common interests. Killian was a reader, and women who would rather watch the newest bad reality television program rather than read a good book just didn’t interest him. Maybe he needed to start picking up women in places other than his local bar.

And then he met Milah. Killian knew the moment he laid eyes on her that she had to be his. Unfortunately, she was married to his boss. Fortunately, they were separated when she attacked his lips in the supply closet she’d pulled him into after a few weeks of intense flirting on both sides. She was everything he’d been looking for. Intelligent, well-read, and beautiful. And the sex. Killian had never imagined that monogamous sex could be so satisfying. But getting to know your lover’s body and vice versa just made it so much better than with random hookups. All the fumbling and bad rhythms were gone after the first few times and Killian could just worship Milah like the amazing goddess that she was.

Which was why he was heartbroken when Milah broke up with him after two years. It was completely amicable, although it still hurt like a bitch. They were just at different places in their lives. She was finally out from her ex-husband’s thumb and she wanted to travel and see the world. Killian wanted to get married, but she didn’t want to so soon after her divorce. Killian couldn’t just take off whenever he wanted to, he had to work for a living.

Which is why when Killian’s parents told him that because of some really good investments, they now had the means to help support Killian and Liam in anyway they would like, Killian thought that he would cry. Milah had left him six months earlier, right after the new year,  precisely because he couldn’t just travel anywhere on a whim, and now all he had to do was ask his parents for money and he could do it. But what was done was done. He knew Milah was touring South America and was pretty much unreachable. So, instead of wallowing about it, he decided on a career change. 

Killian loved engineering, but he didn’t want to stay working under Milah’s ex-husband, so he asked his parents to loan him money to open a bookstore, something he’d always dreamed of but had never had the means to do. He contacted his best friend, Belle, a fellow bibliophile and local librarian and asked her if she’d like to co-manage the shop with him. He and Belle had met in college when friends of theirs had set them up on a blind date. With the exception of their love of books, they didn’t have much in common. But because of their love of books, they forged a good friendship. They always recommended books to one another and had great in depth discussions about them. Which was why he knew she would perfect for helping him when he decided to open his bookshop. In fact, the name of the shop was inspired by his love of pirates and her love of flowers (her father owned a flower shop). So the Jolly Rose was born, and with it, a new sense of purpose for Killian.

Liam, on the other hand, despite being just as good looking as Killian (or so Killian thought), never seemed to be as lucky with the ladies. He’d been gangly and awkward and didn’t really grow into his body until after high school. Because they didn’t have much money growing up, Liam had taken on getting a job to help support his parents and Killian as soon as he was old enough, which left little time for dating or any other extracurriculars. While Killian relied on scholarships and financial aid for college, Liam had joined the Navy, sending most of his pay to his parents and leaving just enough for his own living expenses. The Navy, besides giving him a muscular build that should have helped him rein in the ladies, also helped him get his degree in Criminal Justice. Liam had recently been promoted to detective in the homicide unit. He didn’t want his parents’ money, but he did let them give him money towards an apartment in a much nicer part of town than where he had been living.

But Killian always felt that Liam was lonely. Yes, he and Liam met once a week for drinks, and Killian knew that he hung out with his fellow detectives on occasion, but Liam (who was five years older than Killian), had never had a serious relationship as far as Killian knew.

It really should not have surprised Killian at all then, since both he and his brother were single, that when his parents decided to throw the most ostentatious party for Christmas that year, that Alice Jones was requiring them to bring dates.

“Killy,” Alice --the only person allowed to call him that without getting punched in the face-- began, “this is the rule for everyone. If you’re coming to our party you are required to bring a date, no exceptions. I’m sure you won’t have any problems finding a date with your good looks,” she said, stroking his ego.

“Can’t I just come for the pleasant company without trying to entertain a date as well?” Killian asked. “And are you going to use that same line on Liam, because you know he never dates.” 

“I told him he needs to bring one as well. No exceptions, Killy.” Alice trilled before ending the call. Killian let out a sigh. It was bad enough that he now had to find a date, but it was also nearing a year since he and Milah had called it quits and the last thing he wanted to do was make forced small talk with someone at his parents Christmas party. He complained as much to Belle while they were restocking the shelves that night and making a holiday book display in the window.

“Well, not to be forward, but why don’t I go with you?” Belle said. Killian had knocked over the pile of books he’d been shelving at least three times while lamenting about the dating requirement his parents had imposed.

“That’s sweet, Belle, but I couldn’t ask that of you,” he grumbled, picking up the books and putting them where they needed to go.

“You didn’t ask, I offered,” she said sweetly. 

“Thanks,” Killian said. 

Despite the fact that Belle had agreed to go with him, Killian was not looking forward to this party at all. He didn’t know why his parents insisted on throwing such a high-end party just because they now had money. 

Killian’s phone started buzzing in his back pocket. He reached back to grab it and saw that it was Liam. He stepped into the store room so as not to interrupt Belle a second time with a family phone call.

“Hey Liam,” Killian answered. 

“Hello little brother!” Liam said jovially. 

“Younger brother,” Killian grumbled. “I’m assuming Mum called you about the party and obligatory date too?”

“Can’t I just call my brother up for a chat?” Liam said, feigning shock. 

“No,” Killian said grinning into the phone. “Are you going to be able to wrangle up a date?” Killian asked. 

“Are you concerned about my love life, brother? I didn’t know you cared so much. What about you?” Liam laughed.

“I’m bringing Belle with me, just as friends,” Killian said quickly.

“So, I’ll finally get to meet the lass that you’ve been ‘just friends’ with for so many years?” Liam asked.

“Yes, brother, we’re just friends,” Killian stated. “And yes, I guess you’ll finally get to meet her. But you have changed the topic. Who are you planning on bringing?” There was silence on the other side of the line. Killian pulled his ear away to check that his phone hadn’t lost connection, but the time was still going. “Hello?” Killian said as he put the phone back to his ear.

“Sorry, brother. I think I’m going to ask Swan to come with me,” he said almost sounding embarrassed.

“You’re partner at the precinct?” Killian asked.

“Yeah, well, I was lamenting about it and Swan said to quit complaining because it sounded fun, so I thought, ‘Why the hell not take him?’ Anyway, I gotta go.  See you soon, little brother.” Liam ended the call before Killian could respond.

Killian swallowed thickly. Did Liam just say he was bringing his male partner to the party? Was Liam gay? Not that it mattered to him. Killian thought back on his brother’s past relationships. He hadn’t had many. None that lasted longer than a few months. He mainly liked to hang out with his detective buddies from the precinct. He’d only mentioned Swan a few times, but nothing much. Just that he was a great partner but very closed off. He also knew Swan could drink his brother under the table because he’d had some late night drunk texts from Liam about Swan having to take ‘his sorry drunk ass’ home. Is this how he planned on coming out to everyone? At the party? Killian wasn’t sure how his parents would feel about this development. Or with him coming out in such a public setting. Maybe that’s why he was doing it? So their parents couldn’t make a scene? And how could Liam just drop it on him like this? Did Liam assume Killian already knew? Killian ran his hands through his hair. How was he going to handle Liam’s coming out on top of this stupid, infuriating party his parents were throwing? Bloody hell, why did Liam have to drop this on him like this?

“Killian, are you coming back out? We do have a shop to run,” Belle called through the store room door.

“Be right there, lass,” Killian said, putting his phone back in his pocket. He sighed and went back out into the shop.

____________________________________________________________________________

Killian was running late. He’d like to blame Belle, but she had got to his house on time and was looking like she’d stepped out of a modern day fairy tale book with her yellow, off-the-shoulder, floor-length gown and matching elbow-length gloves that she was wearing. Her chestnut hair was up in an intricate half-bun type style (Killian had no clue what this hair style was called), and she looked absolutely stunning.  Too bad it was being wasted on him.

“You look amazing Belle,” Killian said to her as he was still trying to get his suspenders up and put on his waistcoat. He also had this bow-tie to contend with. And his phone kept blowing up, because he’d been avoiding Liam’s phone calls and texts all week. He didn’t want to talk about Liam’s date over the phone or through texts, so he’d just been ignoring them all week. He’d talk to Liam at the party, but until then, he just wanted to not deal with Liam’s coming out.

“Are you going to answer that?” Belle asked as she started tying his bow-tie and Killian finished buttoning his waistcoat.

“Nope,” Killian said sounding like a petulant child. Belle cocked an eyebrow at him. Killian let out an exasperated breath. “We’re already running late,” Belle scoffed,  “because of me,” he clarified.  “I’ll see him at the party.” Then he turned and gave Belle a debonair smile and held out his hand. “Are you ready to go, my lady?” Belle laughed at him, but took his hand and they headed out the door to Killian’s car to head to the party.

“I’m really looking forward to meeting your brother.” Belle said on the drive over. “For all the years we’ve known each other, I can’t believe Liam and I have never met. I’d almost think he didn’t exist if I hadn’t heard all your phone calls and seen the pictures on your phone over the years.” Belle laughed. 

Killian pulled the car into the hotel parking lot where his parents were hosting this ostentatious event. The valet drivers came to immediate attention when his car pulled through. Killian grabbed his peacoat and Belle grabbed her shawl as they stepped out of the car and handed the keys off to the valet attendant.

The Storybrooke Grande looked like a castle from a fairy tale, even if it was located on the outskirts of Boston. It was far enough away from the city that you couldn’t hear the traffic, but close enough that the lights of the city still twinkled below. The Grande had tasteful white Christmas lights up all over that made the whole area look like a fairy garden.

“Let’s see what trouble my parents have got up to inside,” Killian said to Belle, his breath coming out in short puffs that stayed for a few seconds before dissipating. They entered the Grande and gave their coats to the coat checker in the lobby before they went to find the party.

The ballroom where the ‘Jones Christmas Celebration’ (as the sign out in the lobby put it) was taking place. It was adorned with glittery snowflakes hanging from the ceiling and there were large vases with bare branches bedecked with glittery and fake snow all along the walls with blue lights shining behind them. The tables also had the sparkly, snowy branches, but had crystals hanging from them to look like snowdrops as centerpieces. Even the silvery tablecloths had what looked like fake snow and crystals atop them. Ice sculptures were placed all around the room. The whole ballroom looked like Killian had stepped into a Winter Wonderland.

“Oh, it looks magical!” Belle gasped. A few guests had arrived.  Killian was sure the party would be in full swing soon as it had only officially started about 15 minutes prior. He saw his parents over by the bar. 

“Killy!” Alice Jones said as she crossed the dance floor to give him a big hug as Killian’s father, Brennan, followed. His mother looked absolutely smashing in a green, sequined gown that reached to the floor, her auburn hair up in a French Twist, and a beautiful emerald on a silver chain adorning her neck.

“You look beautiful, Mum,” he said giving her a kiss on the check. “You remember my friend Belle?” He turned to Belle and circled her around to see his parents.

“Yes, of course. Lovely to see you again, Belle,” Brennan said shaking her hand. Killian had never seen his father in anything other than a business suit. He was amazed at how young his father looked in a proper tuxedo.

“You’ve really outdone yourself,” Killian said gesturing to the ballroom.

“Tis the season,” was all Alice answered back. The band had started up and it was now getting harder to hear.

“Will Liam be here soon?” Killian asked. He wanted to get this over with. He wanted Liam to come out and it to be over and done with so there wouldn’t be this weirdness happening anymore. Or many it was just Killian being weird. Either way, he wanted to meet Swan and enjoy the party.

“He’s running a little late, but his date should be here soon.” Brennan said. “Liam had to finish up some things at the station so he sent him ahead.”  The band was now in full swing, Brennan was having to raise his voice, but Killian heard him just fine.

“So you’ve met Swan then?” Killian asked, wishing he had a drink in his hand for this conversation.

“Oh yes.” Alice said. She opened her mouth as if to say more, but then-- “Oh, there’s Aunt Patsy. Better make sure she doesn’t trip over the dance floor like at her wedding, right Brennan?” Alice said laughing at the memory. “Go get yourself a drink at the bar, Killy. Belle. We’ll see you later.” Alice waved to them as she and Brennan took off to see Aunt Patsy.

“Why don’t I go fetch us a table while you get us some drinks. Just a glass of white wine for me,” Belle said as she went to look for a place for them to sit.

Killian continued on from the bar. His parents had met Swan and knew he was Liam’s date for the party. Did they already know he was gay? Was Killian the last to know? Did the band have to be so loud? He was already developing a headache and the party had barely started.

He reached the bar and was never more thankful that it was an open one. He ordered a white wine for Belle and a glass of rum for himself. He tilted the glass back and felt the cool liquid burn down his throat. He put a five dollar bill in the tip jar and asked for a second.

“Same,” said a sultry voice beside him. He hadn’t realized a line was forming behind him. He turned and didn’t see a line, but he did see a beautiful woman standing beside him. She grinned as she lifted her glass of rum and took a sip. Killian thought she was breathtaking. Her beautiful blonde hair was swept up into bun, while jeweled barrettes held her swooped fringe in place. She wore a red, long-sleeved, velvet dress that had a sweetheart neckline and flared out at the waist and came to mid-calf. But it was her eyes that really got Killian. Her amazingly emerald eyes that looked playful but also seemed to mask a bit of sadness beneath them.

“Hello, love,” he said, hoping he didn’t come off breathless. “You don’t find many rum drinkers at these events.  Usually, wine and martinis.” Killian couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

“Not your love,” she said as she quickly finished the rum she had just been handed. Killian signaled the bartender to get her another. “And speaking of wine,” she indicated the wine glass that was in front of him, “are you double fisting it tonight, or does that belong to your date perhaps?” Her green eyes glinted as though she’d caught him doing something illegal.

“Yes, technically my date’s wine. She also happens to be a good friend and nothing more.” Killian replied hoping against hope that whomever this alluring creature had come here with was in the same situation he was.

“Right,” she said arching her perfectly manicured eyebrow at him. The woman grabbed her drink off the bar, “Thanks for the rum, but I must be off to look for my partner. He should be here any minute.” The next thing Killian knew he was watching her walk away from him. His shoulders sagged. Of course she was here with someone who wasn’t just a friend like he was. No one that gorgeous would be single. 

Killian scanned the tables looking for Belle, but didn’t see her. He did see her matching shawl and handbag sitting at a table though, so he placed her wine glass near her accessories and took a seat himself while nursing his rum. He scanned the room, telling himself he was searching for Belle, but he seemed to bypass all the chestnut brown haired women and only stopped at the blondes. Killian sighed to himself.  They’d barely said two words to each other. He didn’t even know her name. And she had said she was here with her partner, so she was off-limits. He took another sip of his rum, savoring the flavor on his tongue and closed his eyes to listen to the band playing an instrumental version of “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas.”

Eventually, Killian heard someone sit down next to him. Assuming it was Belle, Killian didn’t open his eyes as he asked, “Where have you been off to, love?”

“I said I wasn’t your love,” came the response.  Killian’s lids opened immediately as he saw the beautiful blonde from the bar sitting in Belle’s seat. “I brought you another,” she said placing another glass of rum next to his almost empty one.

“Sorry, lo-” Killian caught himself before he could say love again. “um, I don’t know your name so I don’t know what to call you.” 

She smiled a soft smile and looked down into her own glass of rum. “Emma.” She said almost shyly. She took notice of the shawl and handbag. “Your date’s?” she asked.

“My friend’s,” he corrected. “And it’s Killian.” He brought up his glass indicating that he wanted to toast. She paused slightly and gave almost an imperceptible sigh, before pulling her lips into a wide smile.

“What are toasting to, Killian?” she asked.

“Why to a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, of course,” Killian said without a hint of jest, “What else would we toast to?” He huffed as though it was obvious. Emma rolled her eyes at him. Killian laughed glad that she was already getting his dry humor.

“Of course.” She laughed back. They clinked glasses and each took a sip of the amber liquid.

“So, Killian,” Emma began. The hairs on Killian’s arms stood up at attention when she said his name. It was like music to his ears. Not since Milah had he ever had a reaction to a woman he had just met like this. He tried not to think about the fact that Emma was here with someone else. “What brings you to this party? Or is it more of a hootenanny?” Emma asked. Killian smiled at the reference to one of his favorite television programs.

“I think the word you’re looking for is shindig, love,” he said smoothly. Killian was rewarded by a huge grin from Emma as he not only caught but completed the reference (a little out of order, but this definitely was more of a shindig than anything else). “And my parents are throwing this little soirée.” He made a grand hand gesture. “My attendance was mandatory.”

Emma smiled at that and they talked a bit more. Nothing more than small talk. Favorite movies and television shows. She was a huge fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer which he figured having quoted from it previously. Although they did disagree on who Buffy should have ended up with, Emma being a Buffy and Spike fan while he was a Buffy and Angel fan. They also discussed their favorite books, which made him want her even more. Finding women who actually read nowadays seemed to be like finding a needle in a haystack. He desperately wanted to know more about her, but the fact that she was waiting for her date put a damper on getting to know her thoroughly. They mostly people watched and made up stories, although Killian knew a lot of the party revelers and Emma seemed to have a good eye for details to really get their stories going.

“See that woman right there?” Emma said, pointing to an older lady wearing a tea-length, green brocade dress and heavy jewelry. Killian nodded that he did know to whom Emma was referring. He did not let her know that the woman was one of his parents' oldest friends. “I think she is mourning her lost love. She has a lot of heavy costume jewelry on, but she’s also wearing a wedding band and a diamond engagement ring which she keeps turning. She is done up more than usual, but not really to impress.  I’m not sure who she is here with, but he’s probably just a friend.”

“You can tell all that just by looking at Mrs. Midas?” He asked amazed, because she was pretty spot on. Kathryn Midas had lost her husband a little over 18 months ago. The rings on her finger were from her beloved Freddie who had succumbed to cancer, and her date for the night was her brother who was also recently widowed. And Killian is pretty sure he is already half-way in love with her already, partner be damned.

“Am I right?” Emma asked, a playful smirk on her lips.

“You are indeed. Who exactly are you, love?” he asked, forgetting she didn’t like that endearment.

Her smirk turned into a full out grin, but she didn’t call him out. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Perhaps I would.” he said over the rim of his glass, taking the last dregs of his rum and never once breaking eye contact with her.

The band was now playing “Holly, Jolly Christmas” and people were starting to get on the dance floor. Killian wasn’t sure how one danced to Christmas music, but most people were not doing a very good job of it he noticed as his eyes flitted toward the dance floor. He could see appetizer trays being carried around by the waitstaff. Killian knew there would be dinner served in about two hours. He went to make a comment to Emma about grabbing some appetizers when he saw her frowning at her phone.

“Something the matter?” He asked.

“Yes,” she said looking more perplexed, “according to Friend Finder, my partner is here and yet…” Emma gestured around showing that he was still not in the room.

“It seems Belle has disappeared as well. She’s yet to come back for her glass of wine which I’m sure is now tepid.”

“Should we seek them out together?” Emma asked with a playful look.

“Are you sure, love? I wouldn’t want to make any trouble with your partner.” He scratched the back of his head, a nervous tick he’d never managed to get rid of from is youth. Made it very hard to play poker as it was a proven tell. He was feeling a little sorry for himself. They’d been having a fun time, but he knew it would be ending once her partner finally entered the picture.

Emma stood up and held out her hand to him, indicating that he should take it. He rose and grabbed her hand, savoring the way her slender fingers felt in his large palm. Like it was where they belonged. 

She pulled him around the edge of the ballroom, careful not to get caught up in any table conversations as they passed by. He scanned the room briefly and still didn’t notice any sign of Belle. He looked back at Emma, wondering who this partner was of hers. How could the git just let her come to this party, shindig, hootenanny, whatever, and then not come to see her immediately when he arrived?

And where the hell was Liam? When he’d scanned the room for Belle he’d looked for him too.  His parents had said he’d be late, but an hour into the party was pushing it. Liam seemed too delayed at work to even be fashionably late at this point.

They crossed the threshold of the ballroom doorway where there was a small lobby with a few chairs and settees specifically for the ballroom patrons to lounge on. It was on the settee the farthest away from the ballroom that Killian spotted both Liam and Belle engaged in a deep conversation, heads barely inches from one another, Liam’s  light brown, closely cropped curls intermixing with Belle’s chestnut ones.. If Killian didn’t know that Liam was going to be there with Swan, he would have thought it even looked a bit romantic.

“Belle, I presume?” Emma asked. “Her dress matches the shawl and handbag.” She said quickly to Killian’s eyebrow raise.

“Yes.  And she’s talking to my arse of a brother.” Had he not recently found out about Liam preferring men, he would have thought he and Belle made a cute couple. It was just rotten luck that they hadn’t met in the 10 years Killian and Belle had been friends.

Killian expected a reaction from Emma about Belle talking to his brother, but she didn’t give one. She just tilted her head to the side as if contemplating something.

“Too bad Belle isn’t his type,” he said to Emma with a secretive grin on his lips.

“He certainly seems into her. I study people for a living, they’re both definitely sending signals to each other.” Emma said, grinning as well.

Killian was about to let her in on Liam’s secret when Liam took Belle’s hand and kissed the knuckles. Belle blushed profusely at the gesture.

“I’d better put a stop to this before she gets hurt. Trust me on this, she is not his type,” Killian insisted.

“People fall for who they fall for regardless of their regular type,” Emma countered.

Killian, despite the fact that he was still trying to make a good impression on Emma even if she was taken, was starting to get frustrated with her input into a situation she clearly knew nothing about. Emma didn’t know Liam or Belle, why should she have an opinion on what was happening with them.

“Look, Emma, I’ve loved this time that we’ve spent together, waiting for our respective dates and all, but you do not understand the situation. My brother, the one that Belle seems to be falling for hard and fast over there,” Killian paused, not for dramatic effect, but because he couldn’t believe he was going to spill Liam’s secret, one that Liam had not even found fit to tell him about, to a perfect stranger. A beautiful stranger that Killian wouldn’t mind getting to know more if she weren’t already romantically involved, but a perfect stranger nonetheless. He lowered his voice so that they wouldn’t be overheard, “is gay.”

Again, Emma’s expressions and reactions did not match what Killian had envisioned they would. He had imagined she might have a look of pity for Belle at the least, but instead, she had a look of pure and utter shock and then…. she burst out laughing. It was a wonderful laugh, one that Killian would love to be the cause of one day, maybe by tickling her or chasing after her in a body of water as foreplay, but it was not what he was trying to elicit from her right now. Her laughter spread through the lobby, Emma laughing so loudly that it caused Liam to turn his head to see what all the commotion was about.

“Oi, little brother, what’s going on over there?” Liam said, getting up and grabbing Belle’s hand to help her up off the settee. “What are you doing to this poor woman that has her laughing so hard she can barely breathe?”

Killian fought the urge to say younger brother like they usually did in their banter, because he noticed that Emma was in fact fighting to breathe because of how hysterical her laughter had become. Her face was bright red and she was practically holding herself up on the arm of one of the hotel lobby chairs that was nearest to her.

“Goodness, Killian, get her some water,” Liam said hurriedly as he now rushed over to where Emma was and sat her down on the settee to calm her. Belle was looking at Killian quizzically.

Killian ran inside to the bar, which luckily had a lull in it at the moment, and asked the bartender for a glass of water. He brought it back carefully, not spilling a drop, basically power walking the whole way back to the ballroom lobby and to Emma. She had calmed down a bit by the time he returned, but the moment she saw Killian, a fresh wave of laughter overcame her again. Killian couldn’t understand how telling a woman his brother was gay could possibly make her react in such a way.

Emma grabbed the water from Killian and took a few deep breaths before taking a few sips of the cool beverage.

“I’m sorry,” Emma said to Killian, “I’m sorry, but,” she repeated again for Liam and Belle. She took a few more sips before really getting her breath back. “But, Liam, did you know your little brother thinks you’re gay?”

For the third time that night, Emma’s reaction was not what Killian expected. His mind flashed to sixth grade when he’d still been a gangly kid, and the bedhead did not make him look attractive at all, and two of his classmates had taken it upon themselves to depants him in front of the class and his Scooby Doo underoos had been on full display. Killian could feel his cheeks and the tips of his ears immediately flush red, because he felt like the butt of a joke again in whatever was happening at this moment, because he was not really sure. Liam looked at him, eyes agog, glancing between Killian and Emma, not sure what was going on either. Killian noticed that Belle dropped Liam’s hand at Emma’s declaration.

“You think I’m what?” Liam didn’t exactly yell it, but it did sound loud to Killian’s ears, although this whole situation had him on edge, and he’d had a few drinks, so everything  felt a little surreal right then. Emma resumed laughing, but not as hysterically as before. Killian really needed to take back control of this conversation before the party-goers, namely his parents, came out of the ballroom to see what exactly was going on out in the lobby.

“I...you said...when…” Killian had trouble forming a coherent sentence. He took a deep breath and started again.

“When we were talking about our dates for this thing,” Killian said while scrubbing his hands over his face and scruff on his chin, “you said you were bringing Swan, your partner,” Killian finished as though that explained everything. Liam still looked bewildered. He and Killian both glanced over at Emma on the settee who had finally calmed down, but at the mention of Liam’s partner turned bright red, as if trying to keep her laughter contained.

“And what part about me bringing Swan made you think I was gay?” Liam said looking back at him. Both Belle and Emma, finally done with her laughing fit, were looking at him as if he were under a microscope. Or even worse, about to be found guilty at his own trial.

“You said, ‘Why not take him’ when we were talking about who to bring to this.” Killian said finally making his point that he wasn’t crazy. That he hadn’t made this all up in his head like his brother seemed to be insinuating.

Dawning comprehension bloomed on Liam’s face as to the misunderstanding. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples as if thinking of the right words to say to Killian who still wasn’t sure he wasn’t being set up in some way. It had also finally occurred to Killian that Emma seemed to know Liam, and she knew he was Liam’s younger brother.

“I didn’t say him; I said Em. As in Emma Swan. Killian, meet Emma Swan, my partner at the precinct.” Liam smiled at Emma and then at Belle, who put her hand back in his now that the misunderstanding had been cleared up.

Emma pushed herself up off the couch and held out her hand to shake Killian’s, who was still in a state of shock. Liam was not gay, he seemed to be very interested in Belle, and vice versa, Emma was Swan, who was female, and she also seemed to be readily single.

“I think I need to sit down now, love,” he said as he grabbed Emma’s outstretched hand and promptly sank into the settee.  Emma followed him back.

“I’m a little confused right now. Did you know who I was when you saw me?” Killian asked Emma. It was not accusatory in the least.

“Yes?” she said biting her bottom lip, something that Killian had found utterly adorable all night. He hoped that he would get to bite on that bottom lip at some point. “I’ve seen the pictures on Liam’s desk and on his phone. He is incredibly proud of the bookshop you and Belle own. He’s been raving about it for months.” Liam blushed slightly at that. Belle looked up at Liam adoringly.

“He knew you’d bring Belle to this shindig and he’s been nursing a crush on her for awhile, just from the stories you’ve told.” Now Belle started to blush, but she still kept holding onto Liam’s hand. Killian was pretty sure the crush was mutual. “So, we figured we’d come together and he could meet and ‘woo’ Belle and I could finally meet my partner’s devilishly handsome brother.” Emma said giving a sweet smile.

“Devilishly handsome?” Killian asked cocking an eyebrow, definitely going full-flirt with the lovely Emma Swan. “I prefer dashing rapscallion.” Emma giggled.

“Now, if you two don’t mind, Belle and I were in the middle of a conversation before we were interrupted with this ridiculousness,” Liam said pulling Belle closer to his side. Belle, who was usually just as loquacious as Killian was, just looked up besottedly at Liam. They started to walk off to resume their conversation, when Belle finally found her voice.

“I won’t be needing a ride back to my car tonight,” Belle said over her shoulder, and then she and Liam disappeared into the ballroom.

There was a long silence after they left and it took a moment for Killian to realize that Emma was still sitting next to him, holding his hand and rubbing circles into the back of it with her thumb. He turned to look at her. She was staring at him intensely, biting that luscious bottom lip again, as if she had more to add to the turn of events that had just happened.

“Spit it out, Swan,” Killian said, emphasizing the last name that had somehow given him the impression that Liam’s partner had been a man. How he ever could have imagined that now is beyond him. Her name fit her, with her long graceful neck and creamy white skin. “I may be a dashing rapscallion but I also seem to be a right id--” He didn’t get to finish that thought though. Emma had hauled him to her by pulling on the lapels of his jacket, and suddenly her lips were on his. He barely had a moment to process what was happening when he fervently started to kiss her back. Was he dreaming? Just a moment ago he thought she was with someone else and now they were locked in the most intense kiss Killian had ever experienced. And considering what a ladies man he’d once been, that was saying a lot.

Killian brought his hand to the back of her hair, trying to pull her even closer, but without messing up the style that it was in. Her hand was tangled in his hair as well as if the distance between them was too great. His tongue swiped over the seam of her lips begging entrance and she opened up to let him in. It was more than Killian had hoped for, and yet, not enough. 

They finally had to break for air, but couldn’t break apart from each other, keeping their foreheads close together. Killian opened his eyes to look at the stunning creature in front of him. She is once again biting her lip, as though contemplating what to say.

“That was…” he began, but Emma cut him off.

“I have a confession to make,” she blurted out.

“Most women do.” He smiled but didn’t take his eyes off her for a second.

“I think I’ve had a crush on you for awhile. Liam is so proud of you and the way he talks, you just sounded too good to be true. But I also know that you got out of a relationship not too long ago, so I never pushed for Liam to introduce us.”

“So, this whole thing was a set up, then,” Killian said, staring intently into those jade green eyes he just wanted to get lost in. 

Emma’s hand reached up to his face, brushing against the scar on his cheek he’d received when he first learned to shave (and had not done a very good job of it). ‘Kind of?” she said smiling. “I really was waiting for Liam. We were going to do introductions first but he kind of got sidetracked meeting Belle on the way to the ballroom, and I saw you drinking alone and figured what better time to get to know you. Although I made a mess of it by trying to play hard to get, I suppose.”

“Well, considering I spent the whole night talking to you and utterly jealous of the wanker who was your partner, who turned out to be your detective partner and my brother, I think we ended up in a good place,” Killian said. He kissed her again, her lips gliding over hers in a dance that was getting better each time they did it. Emma sighed into his mouth making Killian groan with the chills it gave him. His fingers latched onto a loose curl that had escaped her updo and helped him to pull her closer to him. Killian could get used to this. 

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, but could only have been a few minutes when they were caught by Liam and Belle (who had finally retrieved her shawl and handbag).

“Well, well, well. What have we here?” Liam hooted as he came upon the kissing pair. “Really, little brother, I thought you were a gentleman. Kissing a woman you thought was a man up until today. Tsk, tsk.”

“Younger brother,” Killian said reluctantly pulling away from Emma but still maintaining eye contact with her. “And I’m always a gentleman,” he added saying it directly to Emma. Liam and Belle both rolled their eyes. Or at least Killian imagined they did as they both huffed in response and he wasn’t looking away from Emma to see their expressions.

“Just make sure she makes it to work on Monday,” Liam called out as he and Belle, now arm in arm, walked off. Killian felt the heat rise in his face at that comment. Emma’s face also flushed. She ran her hands through his hair, fingering the tips of his ears.

“Did you know the tips of your ears get pink when you blush?” she asked, her voice sounding much huskier than before. And as if to prove her point, she kissed the tip of his closest ear to her.

“What do you say we go back to my place, order some take out, get to know each other, and make out a little more?” Killian said trying to give her his patented smolder (well, the smolder that he’d used for years before Milah, he may have been a bit out of practice with it).

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll follow you in my car,” Emma agreed. Killian smiled relieved the smolder had worked it’s charms.

They both got up from the settee and smoothed out their slightly rumpled clothes. Killian couldn’t resist pressing a kiss or two to that swan-like neck of hers when Emma started stretching it out from the precarious position they had been in. They walked hand in hand toward the valet station, Killian reminding himself to send a text to his parents that he had left early, when a thought hit him.

“Bloody hell! You’re a cop!” Killian realized, stunned.

“Yes, well, detective, technically,” Emma responded slowly. “Hence, me being your brother’s partner on the force.” She’d stopped a little behind him, as if maybe this was a deal breaker.

Killian walked back over to her, grabbed her around the waist and planted another kiss on her lips. He glided his lips over to her ear and whispered, “That means you have handcuffs.”

No one made it in to work on time that Monday.

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