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#also i never stop wanting to fuck the shit out of her
traveler-at-heart · 3 days
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The Doctor's In - Part 4
Summary: Wanda and R have their first date ;)
Wanda: Sorry I missed you before you left for work. Wanna come over for dinner with us?
Y/N: Would love to :)
“You’re awfully cheerful for someone who just got dumped” Darcy says as you smile at your phone.
“Who got what?”
“Carol and Maria…”
“No one dump me, there was no relationship to end” you say, locking your phone. You have noticed that Carol has been avoiding you, which is pretty idiotic, considering a lot of the trauma cases that come your way are ortho related.
That would also explain why Kamala rambled so much every time you requested a consult, so you made a note to speak to Carol about it.
“So…” Darcy ponders, and you wish she’d just drop it. She snaps her fingers. “The hot mom!”
“Her name is Wanda, and we are just talking” you refuse to look at her, knowing she can smell the bullshit from miles away.
“Something tells me talking wasn’t the only thing you did with your mouths” she insists, pulling on your sleeve.
“Fine! We kissed and it was awesome! Happy, you little pestering gnome?”
“Yes, lesbian whore. Congrats on securing a ticket to MILF paradise”
“Fuck you”
“Doctor Y/L/N” Kamala enters the room as you give Darcy the middle finger. “I can come back! Sorry!”
“Look what you’ve done” you mumble as Darcy cackles. The joy doesn’t last long, as you steal her chips. She’s too distracted making fun of you to notice.
“Hey, not fair”
You close the door and go after the resident.
“Hey, Kamala”
“Oh, hi. Doctor Danvers asked me to show you some X-Rays”
“Tell Doctor Danvers to show me herself. Or better yet, I will go directly to her. Where can I find her, Doctor Kahn?”
“Uh… I…”
“Never mind, I’ll ask Maria” you turn to leave  and Kamala screeches in horror.
“OR 2. She’s in OR 2. Please don’t do it, my Baba will never forgive me if I get kicked out of the program” the young doctor clings to your arm.
“Kamala. Get it together. It’s gonna be fine. If Carol gets mad, you can be in my service for a week” you promise and she barely stops hyperventilating.
By the time you reach the OR, Carol is done with her surgery. She stops in her tracks when your eyes meet.
“Doctor Danvers, a word?” you ask, trying to sound professional.
“Of course” she nods. Leading you to an empty scrub room, Carol opens the door for you, fidgeting. “What’s up?”
“Stop making everything so awkward. I’m not mad at you. Kamala is about to have a stress induced stroke from all the consults you send her to avoid me”
“You’re really not mad?” Carol says.
“No! I never expected anything else from you. We didn’t talk about it but I always knew what your true feelings were”
“I’m sorry”
“Don’t be, honestly. Just, stop acting like you left me at the altar or some weird shit. We’re colleagues and friends”
“That makes me happy. I didn’t want to stop talking to you” she relaxes. “Though I have to be honest, I told Maria what happened between us”
“Is she mad?”
“Only a bit and just to me. I’ll manage to turn it around” the blonde smiles, a dreamy look on her eyes.
“If it helps, tell her I have a date on Thursday” you say, leaving the room, Carol right behind you.
“Oh, let me guess. The hot mom?” she jokes.
“Her name is Wanda!” you repeat.
“Well, let me know how the date goes?” Carol pats your shoulder, and you nod.
“Will do. Now page your resident and tell her we’re all set before she gets admitted to the Psych ward”
The footsteps approaching on the other side make your heart jump. You wonder if the flowers are too much, but when Wanda sees them, her face lights up and you know it was the right thing to do.
“Come on in” Wanda says, taking the flowers and then standing on her toes to kiss your cheek. “The boys are in the living room”
“Want some help with the food?”
“No, I’m almost done. It will be more helpful if you entertain the twins for a little” she says, pulling the flowers close to her chest.
“Alright, then” you’re about to kiss her when the boys walk in. They’re so excited to see you that they don’t notice how close you are to their mother.
“Y/N” Billy says, running towards you.
“Hey, kiddos” you pick them up, carrying them over your shoulder and they giggle. “Come on, there’s a new game I wanna show you”
You take your time to set everything up, explaining a bit about the game. They giggle as Crash jumps and turns in the sand of the first level, and you finish it all, including the tricky jump at the end.
“Who wants to go next?”
“Me” Tommy says, sitting next to you. They are both focused on the game, so you take advantage of the distraction to go see Wanda.
Sliding into the kitchen, you grab her by the waist.
“You scared me” she laughs, allowing you to press against her back, kissing her temple. “What’s going on?”
“I have approximately fifty seconds before they ask for my help so I’m making sure they count” you turn her around and lean forward, capturing her lips and sighing against her mouth. “You look very pretty”
“Thank you”
“You smell really nice” you add, kissing her again, making Wanda laugh. “And I really, really, like kissing you”
Wanda smiles at that, her hand caressing your cheek.
“Y/N!” the boys chant in unison.
“Like clockwork” you mutter, kissing Wanda’s forehead as you go back to the living room.
You spend a few more minutes playing with the kids, until Wanda calls everyone for dinner.
“How’s the arm, kiddo?” you say, sitting next to Billy with Tommy and Wanda in front of you. As you take a bite of the chicken, you notice a funny flavor. “Is this brocc…”
Wanda widens her eyes and kicks you under the table.
“Ouch”
“You ok?” Tommy asks, none the wiser.
“Yeah, I just bit my tongue” you lie, Wanda taking a sip of her water to hide her laugh.
“Kids, eat” she encourages them, and you get the hint. The flavor of the broccoli is hidden with the cheese, so you smile and continue to eat, enjoying every single bite.
“I’m on cleaning duty” you say as soon as everyone finishes, taking the dishes and cleaning the table.
Billy and Tommy run to the living room to continue playing, and as you get ready to wash the dishes, Wanda leans forward and kisses your cheek.
“It’s nice to have you here”
“You have an odd way of showing it, Miss Maximoff” you joke, leaning against her touch.
“In my defense, it’s the only way to get them to eat their greens” she jokes and you lean forward, your lips inches away from hers. In that precise moment, the boys call for her.
“Behave” she warns the children, pulling away to see what the fuss is about.
“Have you thought about boarding schools?” you joke and she pinches your side. “Ah, kidding! I would miss them too much”
You load the dishwasher, clean the pots and put the rest of the food on some containers. By the time you’re done, the kids are getting ready to go to bed.
“Can you come over again tomorrow?”
“If your mom wants me to, sure. I can bring the food this time so she takes a break from cooking” you offer, smiling at Wanda.
“We’ll see about that, Y/N works hard enough as it is. Say goodbye to her, boys”
Tommy and Billy wave at you, already dragging their feet. You stay on the living room, and a few minutes later Wanda comes down.
“Hi” she plops down next to you and you smile.
“All good?”
“A bit tired, that’s all. Just ignore me, you’re the one that works all those crazy hours”
“Nah, it’s fine. I’m used to it by now” you shrug your shoulders.
“Would you like some wine?”
“Sure, I don’t have work tomorrow”
“How come?” Wanda asks when she returns, handing you a glass of red wine and sitting closer to you on the couch.
“Well, I have a really hot date coming up and I need to plan every detail”
“She sounds like a lucky girl” Wanda blushes, biting her lip.
“Oh, I’m the lucky one” you say, placing both of your glasses on the coffee table. “She’s smart, funny, has legs for days, cooks amazing food…”
“Stop” she laughs, and you shake your head no. Wanda is still laughing when you connect your lips with hers, a sigh leaving her mouth when you lift her and place her on your lap, her legs straddling you.
“Is this ok?”
“Yeah” she nods, leaning her forehead against yours. “More than ok. As a matter of fact, I remember reading that kissing is good for your health”
“It’s so good” you say, your lips traveling to her jaw, behind her ear, down her neck. “I’d say do it as often as possible”
“Doctor’s orders?” Wanda jokes, her voice faltering as you come back to her mouth, your tongue swiping across her bottom lip.
“Doctor’s orders”
The plan is coming along. You have the tickets for the exhibit and the next thing on the list should be the dinner reservation. Your pager beeps the minute you call the restaurant. 
911.
“Shit” 
You sprint to the car, knowing no one would call you outside of work if it wasn’t serious. 
“What’s wrong?” you walk to the ER, looking around.
“What on Earth is this?” Tony Stark, neurosurgeon and professional asshole gets in your face the minute you get there.
“I don’t know, I’ve been off work since yesterday, Stark” you take the chart, reading all the information until you get to the signature. The writing got progressively worse, until it was just senseless lines.
“This person was clearly having a stroke, and the staff didn’t notice. I have to scrub in and see if I can save his life”
“And you’re wasting time arguing with me” you roll your eyes, pushing the chart to his chest and walking to the OR.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“To scrub in. If you want to blame me, that’s fine. I’m staying by this patient’s side until he pulls through”
“If he pulls through” Stark says angrily and you ignore him. 
Before scrubbing in, you check your phone.
Wanda: Is everything ok? I saw you leaving in a hurry. 
“By all means, take your time” Stark says, glaring as he walks by you.
You spend the entire surgery in his OR, standing still and doing everything he asks. He’s a rude, pretentious cunt, but if anyone can work a miracle, it’s him, so you suck it up and take every snide comment with a blank stare.
After hours working, Tony sighs, nodding at his work. 
“Close him, Parker,” he asks his resident. You stand watching the young man’s work, until the surgeon asks you to come with him.
“I’m sorry” he blurts out the minute you step out. “This wasn’t your patient, nor your responsibility. And I made it seem like it was”
“It’s still not right. If I had been here, I would have noticed”
“I know. Your work is impeccable” he acknowledges and you nod. Even if he’s an ass, this is the hospital his father built, and he’s a genius with years ahead of you in experience.
“Will he be alright?”
“There’s a good chance he’ll pull through. Let’s be cautiously optimistic. I’ll let Parker explain everything to the family. Sorry for interrupting your days off”
“Not a problem” 
“It’s the first time you’ve taken PTO in 3 years. Fury’s gonna have my head for making you come” Tony says, laughing.
The patient is moved to the ICU, but you’re still not comfortable leaving, so you go back to the on-call room, sitting in a bed to gather your thoughts. Yelling in the hallway makes you stand up, watching as Parker tries to speak to a man and his wife. 
“You discharged him, said he was fine” the man yells, pointing at Peter’s face. 
“Sir, I can assure you, we’re doing our best to make sure your son…”
“We wanna see him now” the man takes Peter by his coat, almost lifting him off the ground. The young man stutters, not knowing how to deescalate the situation.
“Hey, that’s enough” you step in, not realizing the man is about to throw a punch until you make him drop Peter, his elbow connecting with your cheek.
“Crap, Doctor Y/L/N, are you ok?” Peter says, rushing to your side.
“Yeah, fine”
Fucking fantastic. 
“Sir, I’m going to ask you to wait in the foyer, or I’ll call security” Carol steps in, glaring at the man. She waits until he’s gone, muttering an apology your way. “You ok?”
“Mhm, great”
“I thought you had a few days off”
“Yeah, me too”
“Come on, let’s have a look at that punch” Carol says, dragging you to one of the exam rooms. You sigh, trying to keep your eye closed. “No stitches needed”
“Great” you mumble, pulling out your phone. There’s like five messages from Wanda but before you can answer, she calls you.
“Hey”
“Hey, are you ok? You had me worried”
“Yeah, there was a thing at the hospital and I… ouch! Carol, a little warning?” you hiss as the blonde pours some disinfectant on the bruised skin.
“Oh, I didn’t know you were busy” Wanda says, her demeanor changing. “I’m sorry, I’ll leave you alone”
“Wait, Wanda!” you say but it’s too late, the call cut off. “God, could this day get any worse? I have to go”
“Want me to drive you there?” Carol says with a smile and you roll your eyes.
“Yeah. That will make Wanda so happy”
“Whipped” Carol jokes and you try to glare, but it hurts your eye.
Wanda barely put the kids to bed, when she hears a knock on the door. She’s prepared to give you an attitude but then sees your swollen cheek.
“Oh, my God, what happened to you, are you ok?” the brunette says, immediately forgetting she’s mad at you.
“It’s a long story. But that doesn’t matter. Listen, I know how it seems, I tell you I’m busy and when you call me I’m with Carol”
“I know you work together. It’s fine” Wanda lies.
“No, it’s not, come on”
“Ok, just come in and explain everything while I get you some ice, ok?”
“Thanks” you mutter, sitting at the kitchen counter. You fidget with your hands, not looking up until Wanda comes closer, her eyes soft as she moves the hair out of your face.
“Cold” she warns, placing a compress against your skin. You sigh with relief, holding her hand close.
“I’m sorry. I was called in to fix something I didn’t break”
“Don’t apologize for doing your job, Y/N” she says in a soft voice. “Is everyone ok? Is that how you got hurt?”
“Everyone’s ok. The parents were just pissed and I tried to break the fight”
“Does it hurt?” Wanda pulls the compress and examines the skin. It’s a little bruised, but not too swollen.
“It will later” you sigh.
“Anything I can do to help?”
“You can kiss it better”
“Is that what Carol was doing earlier?” Wanda tilts her head, a dangerous look in her eyes that sends shivers down your spine.
“Oh, come on! Not fair!”
“I’m kidding” she says, finally kissing you softly. You close your eyes, relaxing for the first time in 12 hours. “I’m sorry for giving you a hard time, you were saving lives”
“What you feel is valid. Don’t apologize for it, ok? I’ll always listen to you, I promise” you kiss her hand, smiling when she blushes. “We’re still up for our date, right?”
“We can reschedule, you must be exhausted”
“Not a chance” you say, pulling her closer again. “I’ve been waiting too long for this”
“Well, alright. If you insist” she pecks your lips and you nod.
“I do”
“I have an… odd request” she says, avoiding your eyes.
“I won’t kink shame you, I promise”
“Can you be serious for just a second?” Wanda laughs, taking your hand. You make a motion to keep quiet, and let her speak. “Can you… pick me up around the block?”
“I can. But why am I doing it?”
“First of all, if the kids see you, they’ll want to tag along. And also… I’m not trying to be pessimistic here, I just want to protect them. It’s been the three of us since they were born and I’ve never even dated anyone, let alone someone they know” she takes a deep breath, hoping you won’t get upset.
“Billy and Tommy come first, always” you nod. “I agree to the new rule, or I can wear glasses and a fake mustache”
“Nope” she shakes her head, covering your mouth with her hand.
“A bald cap then” you mumble against her palm.
She figures the only way to make it stop is by kissing you and she leans forward, her lips against yours. You smile dreamily as she pulls apart.
“Now. Would you like some dinner?” Wanda offers, and you almost drop to your knees.
“God, you’re so fucking perfect, Wanda Maximoff”
The way she blushes and giggles makes up for all the shitty things that happened in the past hours.
“There’s food and snacks, a list of phone numbers on the fridge in case of an emergency”
“Yes, Mrs. Maximoff,” Morgan says, following the woman around the house. It’s her first time babysitting the twins, but Wanda has known the girl since she started giving her private art lessons and trusts her.
“Boys, I’m leaving” Wanda calls, the kids standing up from the table to hug their mom goodbye. “Be good to Morgan, ok?”
“Where are you going?” Tommy asks.
“A work thing” she lies, feeling terrible about hiding the truth from the twins. But still, she knows it’s for the best to keep this private.
She waves goodbye one last time and walks past the house, noticing your car is no longer in the driveway. Her heart beats fast at the expectation of an evening together.
“Hey, gorgeous” you greet, leaning against the passenger door. “You look absolutely stunning”
You admire how amazing she looks in a pair of jeans, a white tee and a long sleeve sweater.
“So do you” she kisses you, smiling as you open the door to the car.
“Thanks, the purple eye gives my look a nice touch” you say as you begin the drive.
“Are you gonna tell me where we are going?”
“You’ll find out soon enough” you say, hoping she likes the surprise. “First stop” you announce, opening the car door for Wanda and looking at the building in front of you. 
“Artechouse. Oh, I’ve heard about this” Wanda nods, intrigued.
“I did too, but never made the time to go. Come on” you lead her to the entrance, showing your tickets. “There’s a small bar if you wanna have a drink before we go in” 
“Let’s go in now” she says, looking everywhere. 
You think it’s a good sign that she’s so interested in the exhibit, so you lead her to the start, both of you gasping as you enter a room that is projecting videos of flowers from floor to ceiling. Wanda’s hand searches yours in the dark, and you smile shyly as she holds it, walking around the room.
The intimacy of the place allows you to come closer, sharing everything you see in a low voice and enjoying the show. 
“Check this out” you say, lifting your arm, the animation following your movements. Wanda lets out a laugh, doing the same.
Each room enchants Wanda even more, the next installation featuring plants that react to the touch with light and sound. Your favorite by far is the tree that reacts differently if you’re holding hands or hugging. As you walk up to it, Wanda is still holding your hand and you both look at the screen. Well, she’s looking at the projection and you’re looking at her, thinking how beautiful she is. 
Taking a step forward, your arms go around her waist and you smile, admiring how the images change.
“It’s beautiful” Wanda whispers, turning to you. “You’re not looking” 
“I have the best view right in front of me” you smile, happy when she kisses you softly.
Wanda takes her time examining everything and once she’s done, you walk to the exit. 
“That was amazing. I forgot how much I enjoy these things. Thank you, Y/N”
“Glad you liked it” 
“Best first date I’ve had,” she smiles.
“Oh, this is only the first part. You don’t really think I’d forget about the food, right?” 
“Where are we going?”
“Well, there’s a very fancy option but I don’t feel like going with this thing on my face” you point at the bruise, annoyed. “If you’re feeling adventurous we could try something different?” 
“You look perfectly fine, darling” she kisses your cheek. “But I’m up for an adventure, so lead the way” 
“Awesome” you hold her hand, walking down the street and away from the museum. This is your favorite part of town, close to the pier and the little shops that are open until late. 
You walk down the promenade, showing Wanda some of the places you love. There’s a small gallery, a cafe, and other shops. 
“We’re here” you announce, pointing excitedly at the kebab shop. “This is fine, right? We can still go to the fancy place if you like”
“Sorry this place isn’t fancy enough for you, Majesty” the owner pops out of nowhere, scaring you.
“Samir! That’s not what I meant. You know I love your food”
“Mhm” he glares, but then smiles at Wanda. “What can I get for you, angel?”
“Well, what’s good here?” Wanda wonders, not as familiar with the dishes. “Maybe a shawarma” 
“How about a kebab box, fries to share and a doner” you suggest, “And her shawarma, of course” 
“That’s a lot of food” she protests and you shrug your shoulders.
“I’m always eating leftovers before I leave for work so it’s fine, babe” 
“Oh, well” she wants to scold you about your eating habits, but the pet name makes her dizzy. 
You pay and lead them to a small table outside, unaware of Wanda’s flustered state. You hand over a soda and open your can, taking a sip.
“We can go to other art shows whenever you want, you know? Even if I don’t understand anything, I do enjoy watching you” you smile, laughing as Wanda’s cheeks go red at the comment.
“I did enjoy it, thank you. You come here often?”
“I do, I love the food here. Samir noticed I came late because of my shifts and he always saved me some food. Nice fella” you turn to make sure he’s not listening. “But I promise I’ll take you to dinner to that other place when I don’t look like a raccoon”
“You don’t have to” 
“I kinda want to see you in a dress, all fancy like that time you left for another date” you smile at the memory of how beautiful she looked.
Wanda’s heart bursts with the way you look at her, complete adoration in your eyes. She’s almost left speechless, but her phone saves her. 
“It’s my brother” she apologizes, taking the call. “Hi, Pietro. No, I’m not with them. Because, I’m out. Of course with a babysitter, stupid” she rolls her eyes, and then switches to a language that you don’t understand, but sounds like Russian. You look at her in awe, until Samir calls for you to get the food. By the time you’re back at the table, Wanda already hung up.
“Sorry about that” 
“No, don’t worry. I guess I never asked, but are you Russian?”
“Sokovian” she corrects. “We moved to the States when Pietro and I were ten” 
“Wow. I never… you don’t even have an accent” 
“It slips up from time to time, especially if I’m angry or… flustered” Wanda says, and you almost choke on the food, thinking of all the ways you could make it come out. 
“Oh, well” you clear your throat. “Is your brother ok?”
“Yeah, he wanted to ask the boys something about video games that I don’t understand. I’m sure you would” 
“I don’t know, my knowledge is limited to things that existed when I was a kid. How’s the food?”
“Amazing. Wow” Wanda says, pleased with the flavor of the meat and how it compliments the rice and dips.
“See? We’re good enough for a first date” Samir shouts from the kitchen.
“Stop listening to our conversation” you shout back and he grumbles. Wanda smiles, thinking of something she’s wanted to ask for a while now.
“Do you ever visit your family?” 
“No, not really” you shake your head. “I pretty much left for college and never returned. Except this one Christmas, where I was feeling kind of lonely and tired. I just wanted to be home, but everything was so different, my half siblings were just too much to handle for anyone… and I didn’t even know what to do, no one bought me a present because I was never around and they just thought I’d be gone like last year”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked…”
“It’s fine” you shrug your shoulders. “I know it’s weird, but I like my life, you know? My colleagues are great, I’m doing what I love… and if I hadn’t moved here, I wouldn’t have met you”
“Yeah, that’s true. It’s their loss” Wanda smiles, kissing you. You smile against her lips. “You can always spend the holidays with us, you know? I mean, it’s too soon to talk about it, I’m just saying”
“That would be nice” you interrupt her rambling. “Now, I have something very important to ask. Out of all the neighbors, which one is the most annoying and why?”
“Well, I’d say it’s… Agatha”
“Harkness! Yes! I knew you disliked her too” 
Wanda laughs and you keep the conversation going. By the time you’re done, you pay and leave a big tip for Samir, who gives you a hug as you leave the store.
“I’m so full” Wanda says, patting her stomach. 
“I know. Oh, you want ice cream?” you say, remembering the gelato store that is a few shops ahead. 
“You just said you were full!”
“It’s ice cream, come on” you take her hand, and pay for two cones. Wanda orders strawberry while you opt for chocolate.
“How is it?” you ask as you walk down the pier, enjoying the view. 
“Amazing, have some” she offers the cone, but you kiss her instead. “That’s not what I meant” Wanda laughs against your lips.
“Well, it tastes amazing to me” you say, leaning forward and chasing after her soft lips, the flavor lingering as you deepen the kiss. Wanda sighs against your mouth, pulling you closer until your hand goes down her waist. “Best ice cream I’ve ever had” 
“Yeah” Wanda nods, her eyes closed. You peck her lips one last time, and continue your walk, still talking about everything you can think of, enjoying each other’s company.
When she checks the time more than once you get the hint, ready to go home.
“I’m sorry, I’m just being annoying, we can stay longer” 
“It’s ok, I know you like to be home early. Come on, we can drink wine or I’ll let you go to bed”
You rest your hand on Wanda’s leg for the entire ride home, unaware that your touch is making the woman restless. When you’re close to your house, you stop exactly where you picked Wanda up.
“I can just park at home, right? The boys are probably asleep”
“Yeah” Wanda nods, flustered. You’re about to ask what’s wrong when she moves forward, pulling you down for a rough kiss that takes your breath away. It’s a bit messy and desperate, and you ignore the strain of your seatbelt as Wanda pulls you closer to her, sighing against your mouth.
“You can’t park here!” an annoying person knocks on your window and you both break apart. “Oh, my! Wanda? Doctor Y/L/N?”
Damn it, it’s Agatha Harkness. Your nosy, annoying neighbor. Rolling down the window and smoothing your clothes, you smile at her.
“Hey, Miss Harkness. Sorry, I’ll move right now” 
“No, don’t worry” she gives you a sly smile. “Have a good night, you two love birds”
“Night, Agatha” Wanda says and you turn on the car, finally parking in your driveway.
“That was fun” you comment, opening the door for Wanda and crossing the street to walk her home.
“Yeah, just our luck” Wanda laughs, taking your hand. “Wanna come in? Or do you have to work tomorrow?”
“Not until Saturday. Come on” you let her lead you to her house, opening the door as quietly as possible. Wanda sees Morgan at the kitchen table, doing her homework.
“How did everything go?”
“Great, they went to sleep an hour ago” 
“Morgan Stark?” you greet, closing the door behind you. 
“You two know each other?” Wanda says.
“Yeah, my parents work at the hospital with Doctor Y/L/N” Morgan says, waving at you. “Nice to see you” 
“Did you drive here? Or want me to take you home?” 
“It’s fine, I drove here” she says, and you hand over some money before Wanda can pay her. 
“Drive safely, ok? Don’t want your dad giving me crap on the next meeting”
“Will do. Good night, Miss Maximoff”
“Night, Morgan”
“You didn’t have to pay for that too” Wanda says, kissing you. “But thank you” 
“Anytime. How do you know Morgan?” you nod when she offers you a glass of wine and you walk to the living room with her.
“I’m giving her private art lessons. She’s really good. Had no idea her parents were doctors”
“Not just any doctors, baby” you say, taking a sip. “Tony’s father built the hospital we work in. And he’s done some amazing research in neurosurgery. Pepper is also one of the best plastic surgeons in the world” 
“Wow, Morgan is so sweet and down to Earth”
“She gets that from her mom, Tony can be an ass” you mutter and Wanda laughs. “So, did I secure a second date?”
“A third one as well. But only if I can pay for the next one”
“Nu-uh. I’m spoiling you, baby” you say, your hand going to her leg. You notice how Wanda’s cheeks turn red, and you’re not sure if it’s the nickname or the contact. “Come here”
You take her glass of wine, approaching her slowly and kissing her. It’s tender at first, but then your hands travel to her lower back, and Wanda moans against your mouth. You deepen the kiss, sighing when she pushes you on your back, climbing on top of you.
Wanda kisses down your neck, biting slightly. The sudden nip makes your hips jolt forward, and she has to hold back another moan.
“I don’t know how you do it” she says, shivering when your hands travel down and cup her ass through her jeans.
“Do what, baby?”
“Drive me crazy with just one touch”
“Let me take care of you” you ask, kissing her, your hands going all the way to the front of her pants.
“Mom?”
“Shit” she mutters, both of her hands covering your mouth. “What is it, sweetheart?”
“I’m thirsty,” Tommy says.
“Alright, don’t come down, I’ll be right there, ok?” she says, hoping the boy hasn’t noticed anything strange. But he’s too sleepy so he just agrees and returns to his room. “I’m sorry”
She removes her hands from your mouth, helping you up.
“It’s fine, I enjoy the choking but just give me a heads up”
“Stop” she says, blushing. “I’ll be right back. Unless, you want to go? I’m sorry”
“I can stay” you nod, smiling at her disheveled state.
“Alright, I’ll be back” Wanda promises, pecking your lips.
You sit up, fixing your hair and taking a sip of the wine to calm down.
“Everything ok?” you say as Wanda comes down. She nods, smiling and sitting next to you.
“Yeah, I just didn’t think they’d be up. Maybe… we could wait a bit? When I’m not worried about the boys walking in on anything”
“Of course. Come here” you open your arms, and she settles, leaning her head against your shoulder. You kiss her temple. “Wanna watch some tv?”
“What about a sitcom? I love watching those”
“Like Friends?”
“Like Bewitched or… The Dick Van Dyke show” she says and you laugh, completely caught off guard by the suggestion.
“You’re fascinating, Wanda Maximoff” you say, handing over the remote, ready to watch whatever she wants.
247 notes · View notes
itneverendshere · 1 day
Note
how would the cameron family react to rafe dating a pogue
found a girl my parents love - r.c
pairing: rafe x pogue!reader (bartender!reader universe) Ps: ward's not a monster in this, just an asshole sometimes, bc my boy rafe deserves a better father figure. also, didn’t know if this request was for this couple but i felt like it fitted them perfectly so here we are again 🫶🏻🤗
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Rafe selfishly wanted to keep you a secret for as long as he could. 
Not because he was ashamed of you—not even close. You were his, the only person who actually got him. That part of him he never let anyone see, not his family, not his boys.
It was complicated, though, and his family didn't do "complicated" well. Especially not with a pogue. His dad would flip if he knew he was dating someone he hadn’t been personally introduced to before.
The bartender from the club, of all people. The one they’d see serving drinks to them all summer, like you didn’t exist outside those moments. That was the thing though, you did exist, more than anyone he’d ever known. You were real. That’s why he wanted to keep it just for himself. It was his one thing that no one else could touch, could ruin. Topper knew, sure, but he wasn’t going to run his mouth to Sarah after she broke his heart.
So yeah, he held on to it, kept you away from the world that would tear it down before it even had a chance to really breathe. Until Weezie stumbled into your date at the ice cream shop.
He remembered the way his heart stopped when he saw her walk in. Of all places. Of all the people. She looked at him with wide brown eyes, then at you, and then back to him like she’d just walked in on something she wasn’t supposed to see. 
And honestly? She did.
“What the hell are you doing here, Weeze?” he snapped, more out of panic than anger.
"Uh? Getting ice cream?" Her face lit up, a huge grin stretching across her cheeks. “What are you doing here? And with her?” She looked at you, her excitement bubbling over before Rafe could get a word in. “Oh my God, this is so cool! You’re dating her? Like, for real?”
You smiled awkwardly, sensing the tension rolling off him. He looked like he was seconds away from shitting himself. He could’ve killed Weezie right then and there. But instead, he just sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Yeah, well… don’t tell anyone, alright?”
“Are you kidding?” Weezie practically bounced. “I won’t say a word. Scout’s honor.” She shot you a smile before turning to leave. “But like, this is so cool.”
He scowled at her, “Stop being creepy.”
You slapped his chest, scolding him “Be nice.”
“Oh, I like her!”
She kept her word. For a little while, at least.
A few weeks later, they were all sitting around the dinner table—Ward, Sarah, Rafe, and Weezie. Rose was out doing whatever the fuck she did with her friends. Everything was going fine until Weezie, mid-conversation about nothing important, let it slip.
“I saw Rafe and his girlfriend the other day,” she said, just like it was no big deal.
Girlfriend.
Rafe froze, his fork halfway to his mouth. Sarah looked like she’d just been smacked in the face.
“Girlfriend?” Sarah’s voice went up an octave. “Since when do you have a girlfriend?”
He shot Weezie a look that could shove her ten feet under, but it was too late. She slapped a hand over her mouth, realizing her mistake.
Ward raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed. “You got something to share with the family, son?”
Rafe cleared his throat, putting his fork down, already working up a sweat. He knew he couldn’t lie his way out of this one. And honestly?
Maybe it was time to stop hiding. He glanced at Sarah, who still looked at him like he was from outer space, then at his dad. He’d always given him shit about girls, all these big speeches about how none of them were ever worth bringing home unless he was serious. 
Well, he was serious.
“Yeah,” Rafe muttered, meeting his dad’s eyes. “I’ve been seeing someone.”
Sarah’s mouth dropped open. “Who?”
“She’s a pogue!”
Rafe closed his eyes, sighing as Weezie blurted the most important piece of information out. She really just dropped the biggest bomb in the most casual way possible. His dad’s expression didn’t change much, but Sarah? She was fully in shock, her jaw practically hitting the table.
“A Pogue?” Sarah repeated, like she couldn’t believe the words even existed in the same sentence as Rafe. “Are you serious? In this lifetime?”
He shot her a glare. “Yeah, a Pogue. What, is that some kind of crime?”
“What?” She shrieked, “You gave me so much shit when I dated John B!”
He clenched his jaw, his patience hanging by a thread. Of course she was going to bring up John B. She couldn’t let anything go. “That was different,” he snapped.
Sarah scoffed, folding her arms “Different? How exactly?”
Rafe rolled his eyes. “Because John B’s a dirtbag who had you sneaking around doing God knows what. This is—” he stopped himself, trying to find the right words. “This is different, okay? She’s not like him.”
“So, it’s okay when you date a Pogue? Got it.”
“To be fair,” Weezie chimed in, “John B smelled like shit.”
He couldn’t help the snort that escaped his lips, even though the last thing he wanted to do was encourage her. Sarah shot Weezie a death glare, clearly not amused.
“Language,” Ward warned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “How many times do I have to tell you girls? No swearing at the table.”
The room fell silent, everyone looking at Rafe like they were waiting for him to say something. His dad didn’t even look mad—if anything, he looked weirdly intrigued.
“So,” Ward said slowly, his gaze locking onto Rafe’s. “You’re serious about her then? Serious enough for me to meet her?”
Rafe swallowed. “Yeah. I am.”
“Alright. Let’s make that happen then.”
He blinked, completely thrown off. “What?”
Ward’s response was calm, almost too calm. “If you’re serious about this girl, then it’s time I meet her.”
Rafe just stared at him, unsure if he’d heard that right. His dad wasn’t angry? Was he impressed? Or was this some kind of setup?
“You... wanna meet her?” he repeated, like he needed the words to make sense.
His dad’s expression wasn’t the usual stone wall of judgment. “I’ve always said if it’s not serious, don’t bother bringing her around. You’re saying she’s important to you, right?”
“Uh, yeah…” Rafe’s voice trailed off, still half-expecting this to somehow turn into a lecture or some Ward Cameron test. “She is.”
He nodded, like he was already planning it. “Alright then, set it up. I’ll meet her.”
He couldn’t tell if this was a win or if he’d just walked into something he wasn’t prepared for. His whole plan was to avoid this exact conversation. He looked across the table, expecting Sarah to be just as blindsided as he was, but she was still stuck on one detail.
“You’re dating a Pogue,” she muttered, shaking her head like she couldn’t get past that fact. “I just… wow.”
Rafe shot her a glare. “Get over it.”
Weezie, always the little instigator, grinned. “She was cool.”
“Okay, so… when do I get to meet her?” Sarah’s brown eyes widened with curiosity. “Is she cute? What’s she like?”
This wasn’t how he thought the night was going to go at all. 
An hour later, he was lying in bed, staring at his phone, his mind still spinning from dinner. He pulled up your contact, hesitating for a second before hitting the FaceTime button. The screen flashed for a moment, and then there you were, all cozy in your own bed, unaware of what was about to hit.
“Hi baby,” you chirped, clearly happy to see him, “What’s up? You look stressed.”
Rafe rubbed his face, letting out a long breath. “Yeah, well, uh—something happened at dinner tonight.”
Your face scrunched up in confusion, tilting the phone closer to you. “What? Did Sarah say something dumb again?”
“Nah, worse,” he muttered. “Weezie... Weezie kinda let it slip. About us.”
Your eyes widened immediately. “Wait, what? She told them?!”
“Yeah,” he said, letting out a low chuckle at the memory of the whole dinner spiraling out of control. “Just dropped it casually like it was no big deal. Sarah freaked out, and my dad—" He stopped, rubbing the back of his neck. “He wants to meet you.”
For a second, you didn’t say anything. You just blinked, processing his words. 
“Wait... Ward Cameron wants to meet me? As in, your dad?”
“Yeah,” He mumbled, almost sheepishly. “He’s all, ‘If you’re serious, I should meet her,’ or some shit. Like it’s no big deal.”
You sat up straight, your heart racing. “Rafe, that is a big deal! What the hell do you mean he wants to meet me?!” Your voice rose, panic starting to take over. “Oh my God, I didn’t even think about having to meet your dad. I figured we’d just— I don’t know—figure it out later!”
Rafe winced, knowing this would freak you out. He tried to keep his voice calm, even though he wasn’t exactly calm himself. “Baby, it’s not like tomorrow or anything. We can plan it out.”
But you were already spiraling. “Your dad’s gonna take one look at me— What if he hates me? What if he tells you I’m not worth it, and then—” you paused, your voice breaking slightly, “What if you start to believe him?”
His stomach clenched at your words. He sat up, the phone now held closer to his face. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop right there. What are you even talking about?”
You bit your lip, your thoughts running wild. “I mean... what if he convinces you that I’m not good enough? What if you start seeing me differently? You know how your dad is—he could talk you out of this, talk you out of us.”
Rafe shook his head, almost angry that you’d even think that way. “Are you serious right now? No way in hell is that happening. I don’t give a shit what my dad thinks. You’re the one I’m with because I want to be with you.”
You sighed, your nerves still rattled. “But what if he tries to get in your head? You always talk about how much pressure he puts on you. What if he—”
He cut you off, his voice firm, assertive. “Look, I’m serious about you. I told him that tonight. It doesn’t matter what he says, because you’re the one I love. No one’s changing my mind about that. Not even Ward fucking Cameron.” His eyes softened a little. “I already met your sister. This is just the next step, yeah? It’s us. We’re solid.”
“I think I’m gonna throw up.”
He hated this—hated that the idea of meeting his dad was making you feel like this, but he couldn’t blame you. Ward was intimidating even on his best days, and this was not going to be one of those days.
“You’re not gonna throw up,” he said, trying to calm you down, though he wasn’t sure if he was trying to reassure you or himself.
You shook your head, running a hand through your bed hair. “What if I say something dumb? What if I screw up, and he hates me, and then everything goes downhill? I’m not, like... your people. You know that.”
His jaw clenched, hating the way you thought of yourself like that. “Don’t say that,” he scolded, “You’re exactly my people. You’re my person.”
“Yeah, but—”
“No ‘buts.’” He cut you off, his tone leaving no room for argument. “Listen to me. My dad’s opinion doesn’t change anything. He’s not gonna make me see you any differently. You’re still gonna be the same girl I’m crazy about, no matter what he says or doesn’t say. Got it?”
You took a deep breath, trying to believe him. “It’s just—I don’t know, Rafe. I don’t fit into that world, and what if he sees that right away?”
He hated that you felt this way, hated that his dad had this kind of power hanging over the two of you. “You don’t need to fit into his world, okay? You fit into mine, and that’s all that matters.”
Your lips quivered, and for a second, he thought you might start crying. He could feel the panic rolling off of you through the phone, and it hit him hard—he hadn’t realized just how terrified you were of this.
“What if he really doesn’t think I’m good enough for you?” You whispered, almost like you were scared to say it out loud.
Rafe’s heart clenched, and without thinking, he shot up out of bed, pacing his room like he needed to burn off the frustration
“You’re more than good enough for me.”
Your breath hitched, and you looked away for a second like you were trying to compose yourself.
“I just don’t want him to—I don’t know? To make you feel like you have to choose between me and your family.”
He stopped pacing, his grip tightening on the phone. “If it ever came to that? I’d choose you. Every fucking time.”
You blinked, taken aback by the intensity in his voice. “Rafe—”
“I mean it,” he said, cutting you off again. “I’m not letting my dad, or anyone else, get in the way. I don’t care if he’s Ward Cameron or the president of the United States. He’s not gonna run my life, and he sure as hell isn’t gonna ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you. And nothing my dad says or thinks is gonna change that. Ever.”
Tears stung at the corners of your eyes, threatening to fall over. Not because you were scared anymore, but because of him. Because of how much he cared. How much he loved you, even when you were spiraling.
He was staring at the screen, concern written all over his face, brows furrowing, "Wait, are you crying?" His voice softened, like he wasn’t sure how to handle you like this, but he knew he wanted to. He needed to.
You quickly rubbed at your eyes, laughing to try and cover up the tears, "No, no, I just— got something in my eye." Your laugh was shaky, and you knew you weren’t fooling anyone.
He didn’t say anything for a second, just watched you with that loving look of his that made you want to bawl your eyes out even harder. He saw right through you. He always did.
“You know,” he finally said, “You don’t have to worry about all that shit. I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.”
And that’s when you almost lost it. Because wow. No one had ever said something like that to you before, not until him. Never like that, like he really meant it, like you were the most important thing in his world.
You sniffed, trying to laugh it off again, but it just came out all soft and broken. “I’m just—” you paused, not even sure how to explain how you were feeling, “I’m not used to this. Like, you... caring this much. Loving me like this.”
Rafe’s eyes softened, and he leaned a little closer to the screen, “I’m not stopping.”
“I know. I love you too.”
It was real now.
Meeting the Camerons wasn’t something you could avoid anymore, but at least you knew you had Rafe, a hundred percent.
“You still freaking out?” he asked, though his tone was lighter, like he knew the answer.
“Yeah,” you admitted with a small laugh. “But I’ll get over it.”
“Good,” he said, his smirk returning. “Because I kinda need you around.”
“Kinda?”
He grinned, dimples framing his face, “Okay, a lot.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Rafe hadn’t said a word the entire drive, which was already freaking you out more than you wanted to admit. His knuckles were white, tight around the steering wheel. His jaw was locked, teeth grinding together and you’d caught him glancing at you out of the corner of his eye at least three times in the past minute.
Your heart was hammering, stomach in knots, and you were starting to wonder if you might actually throw up by the time you got to Tannyhill.
“Baby, seriously, if we crash into a tree ‘cause you’re having a silent meltdown over there, that’s not gonna help either of us.”
He blinked, finally loosening his grip on the wheel. “Sorry. I’m just—fuck, I don’t know.”
You tried to smile, but it felt weak. “Yeah, me too. I feel like I’m walking into some kind of corporate job interview I didn’t apply for.”
Rafe snorted. “Yeah, except the CEO’s a control freak and the company’s, I don’t know, cursed or something.”
That made you laugh, a short, nervous laugh, but still. You appreciated the attempt at humor, even if the nerves in your stomach weren’t going anywhere.
“So, uh... game plan?” you asked, half-joking, but mostly serious. “Am I supposed to shake his hand? Call him Mr. Cameron? Or is it more of a ‘hey, what’s up, Ward?’ situation?”
Rafe finally cracked a grin, shaking his head. “God, I don’t know. Don’t call him Ward; that might send him into some power trip. But definitely don’t call him Mr. Cameron either, ‘cause that’ll just make it weird.”
“Great, so I’ll just go with ‘Hi’ and hope I don’t trip over my own feet.”
“Perfect,” Rafe deadpanned, glancing over at you, “Just be yourself. He’s not as bad as you think. Mostly.”
Your eyebrows shot up. “Mostly?”
Rafe’s lips pressed together. "He's not gonna throw you out or anything. And if he does, we’re leaving together. But Sarah...”
“Sarah,” you groaned, leaning your head back against the seat. You’d barely met Sarah, and from what you could tell, she wasn’t exactly thrilled about Rafe’s choice in girlfriends.
“Just don’t let her get to you,” Rafe muttered, his hand reaching for yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “She’s just mad because I used to make John B’s life a living hell.”
“Define hell.”
Rafe smirked, his fingers still interlaced with yours. "I mean, I threw him off a boat once," he said casually, like that wasn’t one of the most insane things you’d ever heard.
You blinked. “You what?”
He shrugged, keeping his eyes on the road, like it was no big deal. “He was running his mouth about me."
You stared at him in disbelief, “And you think I’m the one who needs to be worried?”
He laughed, finally loosening up a little, “Relax, baby. I’m not throwing you off anything.”
“So she’s not mad about me? She’s just mad about the double standard?”
“Yeah.”
That made it a little easier to breathe.
The silence settled back in for a moment as you pulled up to Tannyhill. The sight of the massive estate took your breath away. You couldn’t help but feel like you were entering a completely different world now that you were here—a world that wasn’t exactly built for you.
Rafe must’ve noticed the way your hands gripped the edge of your seat a little tighter because he let out a long breath.
“Hey, it’s just a dinner. We eat, we talk, we leave. It’s not like they’re gonna put you under a microscope.”
You gave him a side-eye. “You know, I wasn’t nervous until you said that.”
He grinned sheepishly. “Shit. Sorry.”
The car came to a stop, and you could see the flicker of lights through the windows of the house. The pressure in your chest was building, but Rafe turned toward you, his hand cupping your face.
“Listen,” his blue eyes locked on yours, “I don’t care what happens in there. You’ve got me. If anyone makes you feel like you don’t belong, we’re out. Promise.”
You swallowed hard, nodding as you leaned into his touch. “Okay.”
“I’m serious,” he continued, stroking his thumb across your cheek. “One word and I’ll get you out.”
You kissed his palm, “I know.”
“Okay.” he muttered, then pulled away, giving one final deep breath before turning off the ignition. “Let’s get this over with.”
You both stepped out of the car, Rafe knocked once, and within seconds, it swung open to reveal Sarah standing there in all her kook-with-pogue -tendencies glory.
“Well, well,” she smirked, eyes narrowing at you two.
Rafe shot her a sharp look, “Knock it off.”
She rolled her eyes, stepping aside to let you in. “I’m kidding. Kinda.” She turned her attention to you, and you could feel her sizing you up, looking completely unfazed as she led the two of you further into the house. "Dad’s in the study. He’s waiting."
Your heart skipped a beat at that. Waiting? What did that even mean?
Rafe must have felt your nerves spike because he reached for your hand again, squeezing it as you followed Sarah down the long hallway.
The house felt even bigger on the inside, with its high ceilings and fancy decor. You felt out of place. But then you peeked over at Rafe, and something about the way he held your hand made you feel like maybe—just maybe—you did belong.
At least to him.
Sarah finally stopped outside a large wooden door, turning to you with an exaggerated sigh.
"Good luck.”
Rafe hesitated for a second, his hand still gripping yours tightly. "You ready?"
No. Absolutely not. But you nodded anyway. "Yeah. Let’s do this."
He pushed open the door, and there he was.
Ward Cameron, sitting behind a massive oak desk, looking as powerful and intimidating as ever. His eyes flicked up from whatever paperwork he was working on, settling on you with a sharp intensity that sent a shiver down your spine.
"Rafe," Ward said, his voice smooth and controlled, before turning his gaze to you. "And you must be... her."
You swallowed hard, trying to muster up the courage to say something, anything. "Yeah, that’s me. Hi, Mr. Cameron."
You immediately regretted it. Mr. Cameron? It sounded too formal, too awkward.
Ward didn’t seem to mind, though. If anything, he looked amused. He stood up, coming around the desk to get a better look at you. His eyes scanned over you briefly, but it wasn’t the cold, judgmental look you’d expected. Instead, it felt more like... curiosity.
"So, you’re the girl my son’s been so serious about."
You nodded, wanting to be anywhere but stuck in that claustrophobic room despite its size, "That’s me.”
He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms as he looked between you and Rafe, “I hear you’re working at the Country Club.”
It wasn’t really a question—more like he already knew everything about you. Oh. You didn’t like that, knowing that someone else was snooping around for dirt on you. At least it sounded like that was the plan.
You managed a nod, trying to keep your voice from sounding too hushed. “Yeah, I’ve been working there for a while.”
His expression didn’t really give anything away, but the way he looked at you, was unnerving. Rafe’s hand squeezed yours, reminding you that, no matter what, he had your back. One word and you were out.
“Good,” Ward finally said, “I like that you work.” He sneaked a stern look at your boyfriend before turning his attention back to you. “He could use some of that drive.”
Wait. What?
You hadn’t expected that. You thought maybe he’d grill you or give you the whole ‘what are your intentions with my son’routine. But no, he was... complimenting you? It had to be some kind of set up.
“Dad—” Rafe started, clearly not expecting that either, but Ward cut him off with a raised hand.
“No, seriously.” His eyes were back on you, and there was almost a smile there, like he was actually impressed. “It’s a good quality. I respect people who work hard, people who don’t just expect things to be handed to them. And from what I’ve heard, you’re one of those people.”
You didn’t even know what to say.
Ward Cameron? Complimenting you? Was this real life? You’d walked in here prepared for a full-on interrogation, and instead, he was... encouraging.
“I just hope some of that rubs off on my son,” Ward added, shooting Rafe a look, and you swore there was a glint of amusement in his eyes. “He could stand to work a little harder. He’s always been a bit lazy.”
You bit back a laugh, glancing over at Rafe. He was glaring at his dad, but you could tell he wasn’t really pissed, just...embarrassed. You found it endearing.
“Thanks, Dad,” Rafe mumbled.
“I like it. Maybe you’ll inspire him to work a little harder.”
You blinked. Wait, was this actually happening? Did Ward Cameron, of all people, just say he liked you? This whole night felt like it was gonna be a disaster, and now... maybe it wasn’t gonna be so bad. You hoped so.
You really wanted his family to like you, you felt like you owned him at least trying.
“You know," Ward began, "I wasn't always the man you see standing here today." His voice took on a reflective tone, and you could sense the change in the atmosphere as he prepared to tell his story. "I grew up on the Cut, just like a lot of those kids you see around he, like you,” Ward said, almost casually, but you could tell it wasn’t a casual thing for him. "Back then, I didn’t have much. But I worked my ass off to get out of that place. I didn’t have a name, no wealth behind me. What I have now? I built that from the ground up. No one handed me anything."
Rafe, who had been quiet up until now, let out a small, barely audible sigh, shifting uncomfortably beside you. You took a quick glance at him and caught the unmistakable eye-roll he tried to hide.
Clearly, this wasn’t the first time Ward had given this speech. But at the same time, you could tell he was relieved that his dad wasn’t tearing into you. That had to count for something, right?
Ward, oblivious or perhaps just unfazed by his son’s reaction, continued, his voice gaining momentum like he was giving you some kind of motivational speech. "It wasn’t easy. There were plenty of times when I could’ve given up, but I didn’t. I pushed through, made connections, took risks. That’s how you get ahead. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes. Now look where I am—" He gestured around at the lavish room, the estate itself practically a testament to his success. "I built an empire. Something real. Something that can last."
You nodded politely, unsure if you were supposed to say something. Rafe’s obvious eye-rolling and silent huffs of frustration beside you made it clear that he’d heard all this a hundred times before. He shifted in his seat, crossing his arms, clearly waiting for his dad to wrap it up.
But Ward wasn’t done yet. He turned his attention back to you, his eyes narrowing slightly. "The point is," he said, his tone softening a little, "I respect people who are willing to work for what they want. I see that in you. It’s not about where you start—it’s about where you’re going."
Rafe let out a short, quiet breath that you might’ve missed if you weren’t sitting right next to him. He shot you a small, knowing smile, almost like he was apologizing for the speech but also relieved that Ward wasn’t being an asshole.
You squeezed his hand under the table. At least his dad wasn’t tearing you down.
"Thanks, Mr. Cameron," you said, finally finding your voice. "I really appreciate that."
He nodded, seeming satisfied with himself. "Just remember," he added, his voice lowering as if he was giving you some kind of life lesson, "Hard work pays off. You keep doing what you’re doing, and you’ll get somewhere. Don’t ever settle, not even for him.”
“Thanks again.”
Rafe looked like he was about to explode from how much he was holding back, but he just gave you a quick wink as if to say, Yeah, this is typical dad, but hey—he likes you, so we’re good.
Ward clapped his hands together, the moment of sincerity quickly passing. "Alright, well, I think dinner’s ready. Shall we?"
He strode ahead, leading the way out of the study and toward the dining room, leaving you and Rafe a few steps behind. The moment he was out of earshot, you looked up at Rave, “You think we’re good?”
He smirked, leaning down slightly to meet your eyes, his tone all teasing. “Baby, I think he might build you a pedestal.” 
You couldn’t help but snort, trying to keep your voice down as you followed Ward. “Really? After that ‘self-made empire’ speech?”
He rolled his eyes dramatically, giving you a knowing look. “Trust me, if you got through that and he didn’t start questioning your entire existence, you’re golden. The man sees himself in anyone who works hard enough to breathe without permission.”
You bit back a laugh, gripping his hand as you walked down the long hallway. “Yeah, I was getting that vibe.”
His grin grew wider, his thumb skimming over your knuckles. “And look, usually, it’s a full-blown interrogation by now. You’re good.”
You raised your eyebrows, slightly surprised. “Really?”
Rafe nodded. “Oh yeah. Sarah’s brought home guys before and it was... rough.” He shook his head, “He actually likes you. That’s rare.”
Maybe things with the Camerons were actually going to be okay.
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to-thelakes · 3 days
Text
nothing but a pass time (lip gallagher x reader)
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content warning(s); underage smoking, mentions of underage drinking, sad!lip, comfort, hints of angst (unrequited love)
summary; the summer had come around but you and lip were always the same. except it was harder to ignore your brewing feelings now.
series masterlist
i have edited and read this part over so many times that i feel like i'm not actually making it better anymore, so here it is! more of my babies, the next few parts are gonna get a little angst-heavy from both lip and reader's side but then i think it's gonna settle a bit and hopefully get a little better, i have the next three parts all partly/fully written and they're sad but also sweet (comfort is real and lip NEEDS iT, this poor man), so anyway, here's the new part hehe
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“My dad would kill you if he found us,” You said as you rounded the corner with Lip. He had texted you, asking you to come and meet him. You didn’t mind. You’d been dying to see him after a too-long shift at the store. You had been there all day, sweating and dealing with shitty customers, and that one text was enough for you to be filled with a familiar sense of glee. 
You didn’t need a reason to see Lip, you never had but something about him asking to see you made you giddy. That text was enough to have you halfway out the door in minutes, changed, showered and beaming.
Though, that had always been the case.
The cigarette between your lips was new though. You had never been one for smoking but Lip had somehow gotten you into it. You only smoked with him though.
“They still think we’re dating?” Lip asked as you stopped by one of the pillars that held the El tracks up. The train only came every twenty minutes or so this late at night. So it was peaceful, quiet and you could smoke without being disturbed.
You were the one to plop yourself down first, feet aching from being on them all day. Working nearly a 10 hour shift was not for the weak and you were wondering why you’d bothered to do it to yourself.
“I dunno,” You shrugged as you took a drag of the cigarette Lip had handed to you. He sat down beside you, head resting back against the concrete. You let the smoke fill your lungs before you breathed it out into the night air. It was cooler than it had been all day, you didn’t feel like the air was suffocating you, just the cigarette, “Hard to tell with them at the moment,” You shrugged, the hint of something more beneath those words but neither of you dug into it. Lip simply nodded and you offered the cigarette back. He took it from between your two fingers and took a long drag.
He looked sad. You assumed that’s why he had even bothered you this late. He knew you’d been working all day and he had always used it as an excuse to keep to himself. But tonight, he seemed to want to see you. You were never going to deny him.
You hadn’t ever denied him anything.
You watched as he blew the smoke out through his nose and you leaned closer, resting your head on his shoulder. He briefly tensed up before relaxing. 
He had gotten so jumpy recently. 
You tried to ignore it.
“What’s up?” You asked after a moment of silence. He offered the cigarette to you but you waved him off. You could feel the nicotine buzzing through your system, not used to the high after nearly a week of not seeing Lip.
“Karen’s got this guy,” Lip said after a moment of silent contemplation, “Jody. Some fuckin’ asshole twice her age,” He explained, waving his free hand out. He then put the cigarette between his lips, breathing in the smoke and speaking as he exhaled, “Hasn’t even fucked her. She says it’s some Sex Addicts Anonymous shit. I don’t get it,” Lip said as he choked slightly on the smoke. You should have known this is where the conversation would go so you simply reached your hand out for the cig.
Lip passed it over without question.
Part of him hated himself for corrupting you. You had never touched a drop of alcohol until he convinced you otherwise. And you had resisted smoking cigarettes until one night a few months back at a party with him. 
You had been pretty drunk at that party and he had casually offered his cigarette to you. He hadn’t thought much of it, expecting you to shake your head and tell him to ‘fuck off’ as you always did. Instead, you had taken it from his fingers, taken a drag and coughed on the smoke. 
But that didn’t stop you from taking another drag.
Now every time he watched the smoke curl out from between your lips, he felt bad. Like he had doomed you to some horrible fate.
“And she said that they’re together and just sit under the stars and talk and shit. I mean, who does that?” He asked. You tried to bite back the reply that that’s exactly what the two of you did but you kept your mouth shut, “We’re teenagers. We’re meant to be fucking each other and doing stupid shit. Not- not watching cartoons and fucking cooking together. It’s- it’s just bullshit,” Lip was frustrated. You could tell and you couldn’t blame him. Not really.
Part of you just felt sorry for him. You knew that he had fallen for Karen but she never really shared those feelings. At least, not that you could tell. She liked him and she liked to fuck him but you were never sure if it was more.
Another part of you was happy she was fucking with Lip’s head. Maybe it made you spiteful but you wanted him to understand how it felt to have someone always keep you at arm’s length.
You tried not to think about that though. 
You were his friend. 
You were there to help him, not celebrate his pain.
“Are you still fucking her?” You asked after a moment. You weren’t entirely sure how to make Lip feel better. You weren’t well-versed in this shit.
He nodded.
“Yeah but it’s this guy. He’s a fucking asshole,” Lip bit back, cigarette hanging from his lips. You rolled your eyes and took the cigarette from between his lips to take a puff yourself. You stayed quiet for a minute, not sure what to say.
“At least you still get to fuck her,” You responded, trying to see the bright side. You wanted to make him feel better, “Clearly if they aren’t even fucking, it doesn’t mean that much. So, give it a few months and she’ll be past him.” The words felt heavy on your tongue, trying to ignore the truth in what you were saying.
Lip had never fucked you and you had always been nothing but a pass-time for him. A friend to cry to and seek comfort from but nothing more. You knew that you didn’t mean that much to Lip. Not as much as Karen anyway.
“Yeah, maybe,” Lip said as he glanced down to watch you blow the smoke from between your lips. You tapped the edge of the cigarette on your thigh, ashes flying through the air just as an El train passed overhead.
It was deafening but the noise gave you some solace. You hadn’t noticed Lip looking at you and so you let yourself feel the heaviness. It was just for a moment and then you put your guard back up.
But for a moment, you let yourself frown. Let yourself feel sad. Feel lonely. Feel fucking stupid.
Then you were back to normal.
Once the train had passed, you spoke again.
“The way I see it, he’s either gonna break up with her or they’re gonna fuck. Either way, she’ll come back to you,” You decided after a moment. You weren’t sure if it was true. You had no experience with relationships. You’d only ever kissed people drunk at parties so you were talking out your ass.
But Lip just hummed along and took the cigarette from between your fingers. He took another drag and then smushed the butt of it against the grass, putting it out.
“Everything okay with you?” Lip asked after a beat of silence. Your head lifted from his shoulder, eyebrows furrowed. You couldn’t remember the last time he’d asked if you were okay. Usually, you told him anyway but he never asked.
“Yeah, why?” You responded, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He shrugged, meeting your gaze. Your eyes were boring into him and he felt guilty seeing the confusion. The way your eyebrows furrowed at his question as if you weren’t his best friend. As if he didn’t care about you.
“Y’just seem tired, that’s all,” He responded, shrugging. He was trying not to be defensive but it was hard not to be.
“Had a long day, it’s fine,” You retorted as you reached into the top pocket of his shirt. You didn’t ask before you grabbed the pack of cigarettes. Instead, you just plucked a stick out and grabbed his lighter. 
“What do you think you’re doing?” He asked. You looked up at him, a teasing smile on your lips.
“Bumming a smoke,” You stated before you placed the cigarette between your lips. You used your hand to shelter the end of the cig before flicking the lighter on. The bright flame illuminated your face, eyes shining in the light. It was there for a split second before you had successfully lit the cigarette.
“You been smokin’ with someone else?” He asked. You scoffed, dropping the cigarette pack and lighter back into his pocket before you took a drag.
“Fuck off, as if,” You dead-panned as you exhaled. You then took another drag, leaving the cigarette hanging off your lips as you blew the smoke out of your nose. It was Lip’s turn to take the cigarette from your lips now. He made eye contact with you as he took it, placing it between his own.
Fuck. You hated when he did shit like that.
The way he looked at you like he really gave a shit.
You tried not to think about it.
“Good,” He said before he took his own drag. You two sat in silence like that for a while, sharing the cigarette. You knew it was bad for you. You had told yourself you’d never be a smoker but the summer was long and being around Lip was painful. The nicotine made it easier to deal with.
So you just smoked until Lip - once again - put it out in the dirt. He then just stared, another El train passing overhead. You were both quiet for a moment before you sighed. You needed to go home.
“Got work tomorrow,” You muttered after a beat. It was you saying you needed to leave without really saying it at all. But you did, you needed to get out of here.
“Stay at mine tonight?” He asked. You shook your head.
“Gotta leave early, starting at 6. Would just wake you up. You’re grumpy that early,” You stated as you looked up at him. He frowned. You didn’t know what else to say to him and so you just looked at each other for a moment.
“Want you to stay over,” He mumbled, looking away. You ran your hands across your face, wondering if you were really gonna let this happen. But you already knew the answer the second he had asked the question.
“Let me grab my shit,” You gave in. Lip couldn’t help the smirk that spread across his face. It felt like a victory, a small victory. 
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Living in Secrecy
I couldn't stop thinking about this idea when I was in the middle of a uni class so ENJOY xoxo
"Hey, y'know Rose?" James starts speaking as soon as he's sat beside Sirius in the common room. He seems... antsy; Sirius watching his leg bounce, confused.
"Hufflepuff in our year, right?" He asks. He doesn't know her particularly well. Part of him thinks they were in the same charms class for a year, but he barely remembers fifth year charms. Too much was happening back then.
James nods emphatically, eyes brightening.
"Yeah! Her! I've heard she likes you. Wants you to ask her out."
"Oh, really?" Sirius asks. He tries to muster a sense of interest into his tone, but honestly? He couldn't care less. James, who unfortunately can read him like a book, picks up on this scarily quickly.
"I thought, maybe, it would be... good for you. Y'know, to go on a date." He's practically stumbling through it, but it's enough to make everything click.
Ah.
Right.
He's worried.
Sirius used to date around. He's not exactly proud of it, he spent a lot of time denying a very big part of himself, and he broke a lot of hearts in the process.
All of that ground to a halt when Remus kissed him on the astronomy tower.
He couldn't deny anything then. When Remus' lips met his, all he could think was that they'd wasted too much time not being together in this way. He's not quite there yet, but at least he knows that now. He knows he has a long way to go, but at least he has Remus. Even if he isn't ready to tell people yet, Remus understands.
That also meant no more girls.
He had gone from never being single in the eyes of the school to rejecting every advance thrown his way. He's been so wrapped up in the past few months with Remus, that he hadn't even thought about how confusing a switch that must have been for his friends.
"Prongs, I'm not really interested," Sirius says gently. He does want to tell James. It's pretty tempting, but he can't get the words past his mind and into his mouth. Not yet.
"How come?" James asks, confused. "I'm not saying you need to go back to the way you dated before!" He says quickly. "I'm glad you took a bit of a break, really I am. It's just... I don't know, I thought maybe you've had a bit of a confidence knock, or something. You've gone all quiet about your love life."
"Well, I mean, there's not much to tell," Sirius says with a shrug, panic creeping through him ever so slightly. James watches him carefully for a moment, before just nodding once.
"Okay."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, just... think about it? Could get you back on your feet." Sirius nods dutifully.
Thank fuck that conversation's over.
He skips Divination. It doesn't matter either way, he'll pass that exam with flying colours.
Instead, he opts for laying on his bed in the dorm, lazily levitating shit with his wand. He's mostly just trying to whittle away the time, waiting for Remus.
The door clicks open, and Sirius can't help but smile before he even catches a glimpse of him.
Remus is humming Bohemian Rhapsody.
Christ, it's so bloody endearing, Sirius is grinning by the time he's stopped, noticing Sirius' presence. As he sits up, his eyes finally meeting Remus', he watches a slightly embarrassed blush spread across Remus' cheeks. He adjusts until his legs are over the end of his bed, revelling in the way his heart speeds up at the sight of Remus.
"Aren't you meant to be in Divination?" He recovers quickly, arching an eyebrow as he drops his books onto his bed.
"Mm, told Prongs to say I'd foreseen my own death and was feeling a little shaken," he answers with a shrug and a wry smile. Remus shakes his head, but Sirius can see the affection in it. He quickly gets close enough for Sirius to grab both of his hands and pull him close, before wrapping his arms around Remus' waist. He's rewarded with a hand in his hair and Merlin, he's never felt this way before. He relaxes into Remus, letting his eyes slide shut.
"You okay?" Remus asks gently. Sirius nods into him, letting him go long enough for him to sit on the bed next to Sirius. He doesn't waste a second in leaning in and connecting their lips.
He doesn't think he'll ever get over this. This feeling, this want that builds in his core whenever the two of them kiss.
How did he ever think he was straight?
"Oh," he starts, pulling away begrudgingly as the story comes to the front of his mind, "Prongs tried to get me a date, today."
"Really?" Sirius watches amusement cross Remus' face. He nods, squeezing Remus' hand once.
"Some Hufflepuff girl. I think he thinks I've lost my mojo, or something." As he talks, he watches thoughtfulness begin to flash in Remus' eyes.
"I mean... have you considered maybe telling him?"
Sirius doesn't mean to tense up; it's involuntary. The moment he does, he knows he needs to talk himself out of this. He promised Remus that they'd tell people eventually, but... no, not yet.
"Why? He'll drop it on his own, when he realises I'm not interested," he says, forcing his shoulders to relax and waving his hand a little dismissively.
"I know you don't... I'm not saying you have to tell everyone," Remus says gently, "but, I mean, it would make everything a lot easier, right? Prongs wouldn't be trying to set you up all the time." He smiles, and Sirius really wishes he could reciprocate it. His smile is just so lovely.
"I don't know. I don't think now's the right time, y'know? Quidditch has been stressing him out, NEWTs are getting closer, Lily's finally started looking his way, it's just- why dump one more thing on him?"
They both know that's not why.
"Sirius, it's okay. You don't have to tell him tomorrow, or anything, but... have you thought about it? You know he won't look at you any differently, it's Prongs."
He doesn't. Nobody knows that for sure.
Sirius doesn't really want to say that. He doesn't know what he wants to say, really.
"It's not the right time," he settles on, hurried. Honestly, he just wants this conversation to be over.
"Okay," Remus says tiredly, pulling his hand out of Sirius' to scrub over his face. "Do think about it though? Please? We can't stay a secret forever."
"Yeah, I know," Sirius says. "He doesn't need to know now, though. It's fine, it doesn't matter," he says quickly, waving off the conversation and turning back to Remus. "We've got half an hour..." Remus' face stops him in his tracks. He almost looks stricken. "Moony, what's wrong?"
"It doesn't matter?" He repeats, face going slightly dark. "What, us?"
"That's not what I meant. I just... we're not there, are we? There's no point right now." He's panicking a little, everything starting to come out wrong as the anxiety comes back in volumes.
"Right, yeah. No point. Haven't made up your mind about us yet."
"That's not what I meant," he says helplessly. He doesn't know how to tell Remus what he means, because he isn't even sure. He can't tell Remus why he's so scared, he just is. It's a little embarrassing, really.
"Mm. I don't think I want to talk about this anymore." Remus gets up, Sirius' heart sinking to his stomach.
Fuck.
God, he's really cocked this up.
"I'm going to the library."
Before Sirius can figure out how to make it better, Remus is already out the door. He drops his head into his hands and lets out a groan.
He's such a bloody idiot.
"Padfoot." James stumbles up to Sirius. He's leaning against the wall beside the portrait hole, watching the party go on and just trying to drink himself into oblivion. In his defence, he's in a foul mood, after what happened with Remus. He just needs to sulk and forget about it for a bit.
They can talk about it tomorrow.
It doesn't help that Remus is noticeably absent from a party that he helped organise. Sirius knows it's his fault. He knows that he shouldn't have said any of what he said. Sure, maybe Remus overreacted, but he knows how Remus' brain works, he should have been more careful.
So, yeah, he's feeling a bit shit.
"Wotcher, Prongs." He reaches a hand out to steady James a little as he settles beside Sirius.
"S'goin on? You're being all..."
"M'fine," he answers with a shrug, draining the rest of his drink. He can't exactly tell James why he's being such a moody git, can he? Instead, he opts for straightening up and staring at his empty goblet. "Need a refill."
With that, he heads over to the drinks table. He's starting to feel comfortably fuzzy, zoning out as he pours just a little too much firewhiskey into his goblet. Just for tonight. Tonight he can let himself go a little, and he can fix things with Remus once he's cooled off a little.
Things start to blur from there.
He's not drunk, per se, but he's getting there. He's tipsy enough that he doesn't question James talking to a girl who looks weirdly familiar.
He doesn't even question it when she walks over to him.
"Hi, Sirius!" She starts cheerily.
"Hey. Rose, right?"
-
Remus is sulking.
It's an embarrassing thing to admit, but he is. He's sitting on his bed, pretending to read as he listens to the party downstairs.
He also knows that he's not really in the right.
He told Sirius he'd give him time, and he knows that. The thing is, he's had two months of Sirius gently shutting the conversation down when it comes to telling people about them. Surely two months is enough time. Also, he did say there was 'no point' in telling James about them. Sirius' best friend, his brother, and there's no point?
Remus has a right to be upset about that.
The more he thinks about it, dwells on it, the more he realises that he needs to give Sirius some more credit. Yeah, he's not ready to tell James yet but, Merlin, Sirius is the best person Remus knows. He's scared. Of course he's bloody scared, with the upbringing he's had.
When they're alone, he takes every available opportunity to make Remus feel like the most important person in the world. He knows Sirius by now, he should know that Sirius needs real time to think on this. They need to have a real conversation about it.
That can wait, though. They shouldn't be ending the day like this.
Shit.
He needs to go and apologise.
Sirius needs to know that it's okay. That Remus really bloody likes him. It's okay if Sirius needs time, he just needs to tell him that. They just need to communicate.
Problem solved.
With that, he shuts his book, leaving it forgotten as he pulls the door to the dorm open. He feels lighter, somehow. Hopeful. They can work through this. That's what couples do, right?
He bounds down the stairs as quickly as his hip will let him, out into the thick of the party. His eyes scan the room, searching for Sirius.
It doesn't take long to spot him, talking to another seventh year. Remus recognises her, he's pretty sure she was in their charms class, a few years back. He's sure he can interrupt them, that's fine-
Until she leans in and kisses him.
Oh, fuck.
Just like that, Remus' heart stops.
For a moment, he just stares. He can't fucking look away. It's no more than a second or two, but it may as well have been hours.
God, he feels sick.
Finally, his brain decides to set him free. He manages to turn away as his soul fucking shatters. He loses all control of his breathing, going shallow as he's thrown into the depths of a panic attack he can't save himself from.
He's an idiot.
He's an idiot for thinking he would ever be enough, he's an idiot for letting himself get this far.
He's an idiot for falling in love with the prat.
The tears start before he has a chance to calm down, pulling the curtains shut around his bed. He cries until his throat is raw, until his head aches, until he exhausts himself. He only has one thought as he falls into a fitful sleep.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Remus wakes up as early as he can, the next day.
The others are probably sleeping off hangovers, anyway. It gives him the chance to slip into the bathroom, unnoticed.
As he turns the shower on, he tries to figure out how the hell he feels. It's like he's having an out of body experience. His body isn't letting him feel any of the night before.
He doesn't know how long he stays there, letting the water hit him, staring into space and trying to figure out how the fuck he's going to tell Sirius.
They were going to go to Hogsmeade, today. Slip away from James and Peter so that they could spend some time together. Instead, Remus has to relive what happened last night. It's not exactly a conversation he's excited to have.
Still, he can't avoid it any longer when someone starts knocking the door.
"Oi, Moony!" James' voice rings out. "I love you, mate, but you've been in there for years!"
"Sorry," he says back, trying to force some semblance of brightness into his tone.
It doesn't take him long to switch the shower off, wrapping a towel around his waist and emerging from the bathroom. James smiles at him, but it quickly gives way to concern. Remus must not be doing a very good job at being fine.
"You okay?"
He just nods once, a horrible lump forming in his throat that he knows will have him breaking down if he's not careful. Thankfully, James is slightly too hungover to ask, so he just squeezes Remus' shoulder once and disappears into the bathroom. The moment the door shuts, Remus realises.
Sirius is awake.
Awake, hungover, and watching him with concern.
"Hey," he starts at a whisper. Remus glances over to Pete's bed. The curtains are drawn tight.
There's no getting out of this.
"Can we talk today?" He asks softly.
For a moment, Remus just watches him. He hates the pang of worry that hits him when he notices the furrow in Sirius' brow, the way his teeth worry at his lower lip.
Well, until the night before comes screaming back to him.
He shakes his head, walking over to his bed.
"No, I don't think we can."
"Moony, what-? Are you alright?" He asks, and Merlin, he really thinks Remus doesn't know? He pulls his chest open, rooting through it for something to wear.
"I think you can answer that," he says blankly. When he doesn't get an answer, he turns to face Sirius. He just looks confused. "That Hufflepuff, from last night. She's the one James was trying to set you up with, right?" He watches as the realisation flits across Sirius' face. His eyes widen, Remus letting Sirius clear his throat a little in his shock, sitting up straight.
"Shit. Moony, you know that wasn't what-"
"What, wasn't what it looked like?" He asks. "I really don't want to hear it, Sirius. You said you weren't sure, then got with a girl. Message received." He shuts his chest a little too hard, wincing as the sound reverberates through his skull.
"Wait, Rem, please. Prongs was just-"
The curtains around Peter's bed slide open, and Sirius' mouth snaps shut. Remus turns and offers Pete a half-hearted smile, before climbing onto his bed and moving to close the curtains.
"Remus," Sirius whispers, eyes pleading.
For a moment, Remus wants to relent. He wants to pull Sirius into a hug and make everything okay. Forget that this happened and draw a line under it.
No.
Not this time.
"Leave me alone, Sirius."
With that, he shuts the curtains and bites back tears.
He almost misses breakfast, in the end. He sits and waits until he hears everyone else leave the dorm, not willing to face any of the marauders, really.
When he does eventually get to breakfast, he sits with the girls instead. Lily shoots him a concerned glance, a question in her eyes. He just shakes his head. No talking. Not right now.
He spares a glance in the direction of his usual spot. James and Peter are sat opposite one another, whispering with confused frowns. Sirius is nowhere to be seen, James throwing Remus a glance every few seconds. When he spots Remus watching him, face blank, he falters.
"You okay?" He mouths across the table.
No. He's really bloody not. He's actually a little worried that if he opens his mouth he'll burst into tears. Instead, he opts for a shrug, turning back to his food.
He feels a little like he's underwater, like nothing's real.
Breakfast is excruciatingly long, even though he's the first one finished. He needs to go. Get away from everybody. From everything.
Usually, he doesn't want to go to class around the full moon. His skin is too busy crawling, his head buzzing to the point that he can't focus. Right now, he'd fucking kill to go to class and distract himself. He stands quickly, desperate to leave. The moment he does, his heart rate spikes and he practically blacks out, stumbling a little over the bench.
Shit.
Yeah, he needs to sit down.
Lily's up in a flash, guiding Remus back onto the bench by the shoulders. She swings her legs over and stands in front of him.
"Slow down, take a breath," she says gently.
He watches James' walk over, before letting his eyes slide shut and forcing himself to breathe slowly. He just needs to hurry up and calm down. They're not going to let him leave if he doesn't.
“Come on, let’s go.” She offers him her hand, slowly helping him up.
“Go?” He asks with a frown. To be perfectly honest, he wants to go and lock himself in his bed, wallow for a little where nobody can bother him.
“The hospital wing,” she answers, James nodding like it should be obvious. Remus goes to protest. He’s not that unwell, this happens all the time around the full-
Hold on.
The hospital wing. Nobody can bother him there.
Lily’s just given him the solution.
With that decided, he lets her lead him out of the Great Hall, trying to ignore the eyes on him. James and Peter are close behind, as they walk together to the wing. Madame Pomfrey’s bound to give him something to let him sleep through the day, if he asks.
The moment he arrives, Madame Pomfrey’s sitting in front of him. He doesn’t say much, Lily explaining on his behalf. Poppy nods, listening carefully.
“I think I have just the thing. One moment, lovely.” She pats his knee, standing and walking away.
“D’you want us to stay?” James asks, offering Remus a small smile.
Thank fuck. He shakes his head, trying to mirror James’ smile.
“I’ll be fine. See you later?” They all start to leave, Lily squeezing his hand before she leaves.
It doesn’t take long for Madame Pomfrey to come back, potion in hand.
“It’ll slow your heart down a little,” she explains, as he pulls the cork off and drinks it dutifully. He can still feel her eyes on him, watching him carefully. “How are you feeling, Remus?”
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Remus says back with a shrug. “Freaked Lily out more than me.”
“Mm. How about in general? You seem a little dejected.”
He stiffens a little at that. Poppy’s scarily good at this stuff, but he was hoping that she’d think he was just stressed because the moon’s close. For a moment, he goes to say exactly that; he’s just feeling antsy, what with the moon being so close.
The moment he opens his mouth, a lump forms in his throat. He can’t form the word fine, it just won’t happen.
God, he’s actually going to cry.
The tears spill over before he has a chance to blink them back. Before he knows what he’s doing, he’s telling Poppy everything. He’s careful to leave Sirius’ name out of it, but that’s about as much control he’s capable of. Embarrassingly enough, Poppy hears everything. The conversations they’d had about secrecy, the argument, the fact that Remus wanted to tell him he loved him. Absolutely everything, through tears and a fair amount of hyperventilating.
To her credit, Poppy listens to it all. She sits and lets him vent everything, quietly empathetic right to the last word. Once he’s finished, he feels a bit stupid. The hospital wing isn’t meant for this. He’s taking up her time. He forces himself to take a deep breath, swiping the tears away quickly.
“Sorry.”
“Remus, dear, you have no reason to apologise.” She pulls her wand out, seamlessly bringing a bar of chocolate from her office. “Here. You can stay a while, if you want to.” He fiddles with the wrapper, nodding gratefully.
“Thanks, Madame Pomfrey.”
“Of course. Have a bit of a break.”
She leaves him alone, then. Standing and leaving with a reassuring smile. He practically exhausted himself with all of that. He doesn’t even realise that he’s about to fall asleep until he’s out.
When he wakes up hours later, James and Peter are talking next to his bed. He blinks harshly, sitting up. He didn't mean to sleep for that long, but at least it got rid of his headache.
"Hey," James says. "Feeling better?"
Remus nods once. He actually feels like he's a being a bit dramatic about everything, but it's not like James can hear that, can he?
"Yeah. Ready to go, actually." He swings his legs out of bed, quickly shooting Poppy a grateful glance.
They walk back to the common room slowly. Remus doesn't really speak much. He doesn't have anything to say.
"Padfoot's pissed at me," James says suddenly, scanning the map. "I'm pretty sure he's spent the whole day trying to avoid me. Look, he isn't even in the dorm!"
Remus wants to say something, then. Say that Sirius just feels awkward after what happened between them. Still, he bites his tongue.
"Well," Pete pipes up, "you did get a girl he didn't know go and kiss him."
Remus practically stops in his tracks, stunned. It takes way too much effort to keep his legs moving.
"I didn't know she was going to kiss him!" James protested. "All I told her to do was ask him out!"
"Yeah," Pete shrugs. "He doesn't know that though, does he?"
The realisation starts to dawn on Remus, like ice water running down his back.
"He stopped her in her tracks, anyway. I don't know, I feel like it should have blown over by now, y'know? Nothing even happened!" James says, frustrated, guilt laced through his voice.
"Oh, fuck," Remus groans to himself. He's really fucked up.
"Moony, you okay?" James asks.
"Yeah. No. I don't- I'll see you later," he says quickly, grabbing the map from James and practically running off. He doesn't even think about how confused his friends must be. He can't. His mind is stuck on Sirius.
Merlin, poor Sirius.
With a quick glance at the map, he runs across the castle. It's like his brain has woken up, adrenaline feeding him, letting him ignore his hip. Nothing feels as important as getting to Sirius right now. He's jumped to the worst conclusion of his life.
It doesn't take him long to get to the One Eyed Witch passage. Sirius hasn't moved, as Remus shuts the map, pulling the entrance open. He jumps a mile at Remus' arrival, and Remus catches him subtly wiping the tears from his cheeks. His heart tugs painfully, guilt following along with it.
"M- Remus, sorry, I-"
"I, er..." Remus starts quickly, cheeks pinking a little. "I actually came to find you."
Sirius' eyes widen, and Remus steps inside, shutting the passage behind him.
"I- Padfoot, I'm so sorry."
"You're..."
"I should have let you explain. I shouldn't have just... assumed that you'd do something like that." He says gently, sitting opposite Sirius in the small passage.
"Moony, I didn't- she- I promise-" Sirius' face twists awkwardly as he stumbles for the words.
"I know," Remus answers, reaching out and grabbing Sirius' hands in his. "James said. Honestly? I should have known. It was awful of me, not letting you explain. I'm so sorry."
"No, I get it. Really, Moony, I do," Sirius says hurriedly, squeezing Remus' hands once. "After what I said, I get it. I'm- Christ, I was an idiot saying any of that." Remus tries to wave him off, but Sirius doesn't stop. "No, really. I don't think any of what I said. I'm sure, Remus. I really am sure. I just- I don't know, I freaked out. I was still thinking about Prongs not finding out, but I also wanted to tell you I love you, and I didn't-" He cuts himself off, and Remus can see the shock ripple through him.
Sirius loves him?
"Shit. Bugger. I didn't mean to-" He buries his face into his hands, groaning. "Sorry."
There's already a smile growing on Remus' face, though. This is the last thing he expected.
"Sirius," he says gently, reaching up and pulling Sirius' hands from his face. "I love you."
Sirius' breath catches in his throat, eyes darting over Remus' face.
"You- Merlin, Remus, I love you so much. I'm so in love with you," he says quickly, and Remus just can't take it anymore. He leans in and connects their lips without a second thought. Sirius lets out a muffled noise of surprise, hands moving to cup Remus' face.
It dawns on Remus, in this moment, that nobody else needs to know. He's been so worried about how Sirius felt, that he'd essentially taken the fact that Sirius isn't ready to tell people as a sign that he didn't like Remus.
Who else needs to know? This is theirs.
They can stay secret for a little longer.
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pleasantspark · 22 hours
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True Critical Post
Why do we have to rely on Fan Theories as our main source of content? Why do we have to have talented people waste all their energy explaining away the plotholes that SHOULD be solved as we go?
Why do we as respective people have to lower our respect to a bunch of preteens and teens that will probably get criticized themselves if they do decide to pursue what VivziePop is doing?
Why do WE as part as the marginalized people who are portrayed in this show as completely wrong have to explain WHY it's wrong only to get ableism, racism and lgbtqphobic shit at us?
Why do WE have to explain what is criticism and what is not when it's clear as day we felt like this isn't what we stand for?
You want a real true critical post? Well you got it.
Hellaverse is trying to tell a story but it can't find out which identity it wants to be, one minute its Steven Universe, the next minute its South Park.
"But South Park is edgy and has ser-"
It's because it's handled in a respectful manner, South Park handled toxic relationships better than Hazbin, who refuses to let go of a toxic ship.
Cartman and Heidi's relationship was truly the toxicity of that day.
"It's not serious!"
Okay, so by that logic, that means Angel Dust and whatever shit we see is also not serious, good to know SA and depression isn't serious because it's for a show in Hell. You think we critics sit here all day and fluff shit out just because we hate Viv?
You know I don't hate her that's too strong of a word, I LOATHE HER and the fanbase for speaking over victims and actual members of the LGBTQ+ and POC!
Our problems are not taken seriously at all, it's some major spectacle for you all to fetishize and laugh at, wow, I thought SuperMarioLogan's fanbase was toxic, but damn. I was wrong.
If you can't see what the fucks wrong with your opinions, when the people who they are affecting speaks up. Then I pray that whenever you feel the pain we felt, you can change your mind.
It's always the picrew profiles that aren't even POC or victims that speak over us.
STOP
NORMALIZING
THIS.
I shouldn't have to tell you why Lucifer's character is harmful.
or why Angel Dust's is harmful.
You should at least have half a brain to understand.
BUT NO, THE FUCKING TEAM CONDONES CHILDREN TO WATCH THIS WITH THEIR PARENTS.
I can never find a adult space that I can share without children infiltrating it.
This post is far more aggressive because the handwaving and constant dismissive behavior, so MAYBE if we were more aggressive you'll get it. I am trying to be nice but I can't when all I am is a joke for the writers to exploit.
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n7punk · 3 days
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Unhinged Instagram Lives Era Fic Notes:
Ok these are small because I TRIED to just put everything in the Author’s notes because it wasn’t supposed to be a “real” project 😭 but I’ve got a few things to say about UILE.
Playlist is just The Sex Was Good Until It Wasn't album by XANA.
Chapter 1:
⦁ Catra was planning to end up with somebody at the end of the night and Adora was lowkey her top choice, so she texted her when she decided she was done with the party she was at and hadn’t found anything else she wanted to do.
⦁ Catra just straight up misheard Adora in chapter 1 and because she never asks she literally never finds out she didn’t say kitten
Chapter 2:
⦁ I swear Catra really isn’t an alcoholic, she just doesn’t mind alcohol, is around it constantly, and has people buying her drinks in addition to have plenty money on hand, so she found she was doing it a lot and realized she needed to be more intentional about it when discussing it with her therapist.
⦁ Not that it literally ever comes up or matters, but Faith’s sister played drums on the Grammy-winning album.
Chapter 3:
⦁ Catra was kinda wrong about how Adora’s management would feel about their connection, so it really was an issue for them to come out, especially because Adora was transitioning her image to include more… well Catra vibes, if we’re honest, which she called maturity in almost the opposite way Catra’s music was becoming more mature. Adora was getting freer and more horny, while Catra was getting happier and more responsible, but overall Adora’s image didn’t change nearly as much as Catra’s did, and even Catra’s was a gradual shift.
⦁ So it was supposed to be a one shot. Then I had the idea for chapter two and was like fuck ittt. Then I had the idea for chapters 3 and 4 and I was like cool good ending 👍 So that’s lowkey where I consider the end of the fic, but my brain wouldn’t shut up, which is how chapter 5 happened even though I consider 4 a solid ending. And Chapter 6 oh my god I swear. I need to stop thinking about this fic at 1AM.
Chapter 4:
⦁ Adora’s parents are dead, Mara took her in as a kid but she’s just a few years older and it was hard on everybody involved. Also, her full name is Grayskull, management just thought that was too “hardcore” for her genre so they shortened it, and even though her last name does mean something to her unlike Catra, Adora ended up liking that distance between what the public owned of her and her private life.
⦁ Catra’s fans are used to and fond of her antics. She calls it living life to the fullest in interviews and she’s not getting into a lot of controversies or breaking the law (at least not laws that matter) so it really isn’t going to affect her appeal either way if she shifts away from it, but it’ll make some people feel old when she eventually gets asked about cutting back the partying an interview. Other people will say it’s about time.
⦁ When Catra does get into controversies it’s usually shit like blowing someone off, being unafraid to insult someone she feels deserves it, or taking over a party like she did the bar. That’s the modern day rockstar stuff, which is a marketing term she doesn’t use herself to the public but that definitely comes up in a lot of coverage of her.
⦁ Conversely, Adora tries to keep her life private and she’s astonishingly successful given her numbers but stuff spills out, mostly in her dating life, because it was a little messy pre-Catra. She did earnestly attempt some relationships, but they were failed attempts and that left some messy exes.
⦁ Catra hasn’t like, actually had sex in public, but there’s definitely been some extremely horny making out in front of people at clubs and exchanges that people with shame would keep behind closed doors. Despite all outward appearances, Catra needs a safe environment to feel comfortable having sex, so she has some standards, she just tries to seem like she doesn’t.
Chapter 5:
⦁ Normally I headcanon Catra as having a really sharp memory for Pain reasons but for both trauma and sobriety reasons she really doesn’t remember much of her burn-down year, which is when she and An dated, and she meets a lot of people literally every week, so at a certain part they get away from her.
"Chapter" 6:
⦁ “lake at the bottom or our river” is a XANA lyric and “unhappy in Manhattan” is a Chappell referenced queen you SERVED at the VMAs.
⦁ I did the capitalizations purposefully here with CATRA used when talking about her music and Catra used when referring to her as a person.
⦁ When I first wrote An I was not intending this bonus scene to exist but it didn’t make sense to invent another ex for it, so I just gave An a really, really bad day. The meltdown was mostly about everything else happening in her life, honestly, but when she saw she was being filmed she assumed she was recognized because of that and she snapped. I support women’s wrongs she was justified.
⦁ Catra and Adora’s fans do, generally, support their relationship. Both of them have come up with ways to call the other toxic so those subsets always exist, but this post really was about an outlier situation that got blown out of proportion on stan twt and wouldn’t have been that big of a deal/worth a post if the 7/11 incident hadn’t happened. I just really like r/HobbyDrama (when it’s good).
⦁ I love how extremely obvious “Hardcore CATRA stan’s” bias is when describing Catra versus Adora lol.
⦁ The link goes to the photo on Tumblr, but if you actually searched for the Twitter image url listed it would take you toa video of Megan thee Stallion at the VMAs. And the link… well c’mon yall I was goofing :3c
⦁ Lonnie made the pie chart Catra ended up posting to make fun of her while they were working on her latest album. Catra hasn’t actually fact-checked it so it’s wrong in some regards but close enough. It’s also a pie chart pulled directly from my writing tracking spreadsheet, though I manipulated some of the values first. Catra would Not have gone to the effort of making this, the only reason she replied at all is because Lonnie sent it to her literally last week and she thought it was funny, and also wanted the (small subset) who were bitter about her finding happiness to get ratio’s appropriately. It bothers her when people try to make Adora out to be toxic, that’s HER girl, excuse you.
⦁ There’s always that one annoying comment at the bottom of the post that then totally unrelated discourse breaks out in the replies on and that’s what happened with that last comment. Also jjaj10 is for Aly & AJ’s recent 10 year album anniversary this summer.
⦁ Catra goes for the slightly subtler “GOD.DESS” title for her next album (her albums are all stylized in all caps) which is mostly about how fucking amazing her or Adora are in various respects (include sex) with a few “bad bitches have bad days too” moments (Megan the Stallion you are iconic). The cover art is centered on Adora, actually, who’s sitting on their sex bench dykespreading in pants and a tight tank top showing off her arm muscles and serving face to the camera while Catra drapes over her wearing black leather and posed with her leg slipping between Adora’s. It’s subtle but the kink people in their fandoms immediately identify this photo was taken in a Very Private room in their home and once they say it everybody knows that’s not a workout bench even though tbh it looks like one in the shot. They knew that was going to happen or they wouldn’t have done it, Catra literally has an S&M-type song on the album. They’re really just living their best lives at this point.
⦁ It is not… impossible that I add to this fic more in the future, and if so it would be tacked on the end but could conceivably by non-linear, i.e. scenes taking place during or before the main fic itself and not just following it.
⦁ I used a modified version of this public work skin for the reddit post.
And now, to humiliate me, here is a list of sentences that were supposed to be the last sentence of the fic when I wrote them (all of which are the final sentence of their respective final scene):
CH1: “Maybe she will release the song after all.” [next to last scene] (then I started writing in the notes that they did do the jam session, etc, and I realized I should just put that in the fucking fic)
CH1: “If Adora wants to put that song they wrote together on the radio, she’ll certainly see Catra in her bed a lot more frequently if only because Catra will get a constant reminder of what she sounds like when she’s moaning for her.” [last scene] (okay it’s a completed one-shot now, cool, what’s that, it’s a party scene coming in with a steel chair-)
CH2: “Maybe her therapist will be proud enough to make up for the disappointment of the drink.” [last scene] (ok two chapters for fun, if I get more ideas maybe- shit I already have more ideas)
CH3: “Maybe Catra wants to know what it would actually be like.” [last scene] (hey that’s a nice wrap-up point. Lol I bet Adora’s introduction to Catra’s scene is- fuck here we go)
CH4: “It’s somebody else’s loss if they don’t like what that does for her.” [last scene]
CH5: “Not when she’s coming home to her arms every night.” [first scene] (ok this one’s interesting because I very quickly had the idea for the Adora interview because I looooooove writing interview scenes after the cat’s out of the bag so originally, I tacked that onto the end of the chapter, and then I had more ideas and separated the interview and the new scenes into their own thing)
CH5: “Faith can stay mad they’re having amazing sex and putting out chart-toppers.” [last scene] (again the fic was supposed to be DONE but I wrote this write before bed and as I was lying there not falling asleep I wrote the stupid hobbydrama post in my head and just. Sighed and picked up my phone to take notes)
And then, finally, the actual final sentence at the end of Chapter 6. I’m exhausting even to myself.
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manic-misfit · 2 years
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I had a terribly stressful start to my day, so she sent coffee and sweets to me at work and tbh still gonna cry about it on main cuz she’s a sweetheart and I adore her so much ;w;
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volivolition · 7 months
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reading Kim's Disco Inferno and i absolutely needed to read this fic earlier than im reading it right now. this is so fucking interesting.
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hecksupremechips · 6 months
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Minor thing that really irks me is when people treat the femc route in p3 portable as like the lesser story or like it’s a fanfic where nothing that happens in it is the “true” canon like. Bitch. The femc and everything that happens in her version of the story is just as canon as the male protagonist and everything that happens in his story. And there’s literally been so many fucking versions of p3 at this point like the base game, fes, portable, the movies, stage plays, reload, as well as spinoffs and manga and they all do things differently. I don’t see anyone acting like the base game is more canon than, say, reload so why do they do this with portable? Why can’t the (infinitely superior) version with the female protagonist just be respected for five fucking minutes goddamn
#persona#persona 3#kotone shiomi#its the misogyny yay#but god i am so tired of her game being treated as not actually canon like it literally is#theres multiple canons dipshit there is no true version of this game#and also people saying she doesnt fit the theme or some shit like. she literally does??? and honestly she does it better#like you can really feel the love she brings to the group and how she gives everything life and helps everyone#but also just how it all comes with pain she smiles and befriends everyone but shes always been so deeply alone and she doesnt want anyone#to feel the pain shes felt and so she carries all those burdens on her own and when everyone goes to reach out for her#its too late far too late shed sacrifice herself over and over for these people and theyll never once see her cry#she also you know. actually has good social links and gets to know everyone not just people she wants fuck#so you get to see just infinitely better versions of every character with her she really does bring out the best in them#and another thing in particular with the disrespect of her story is the way shinji living is treated again just like#some kinda fanfic au by someone who didnt wanna cope with their blorbo dying like ughh#shinji surviving is just as canon as him dying there is an entire canon where he gets a happy ending and it is once again#much better than versions where he dies like ive. exhausted myself with explaining it but its just better#so yeah basically out of spite i like acting like kotones story is actually the one true canon#and when people mention stuff that isnt in her story im like ‘huh? what? that didnt happen’#cuz whos gonna stop me
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milfygerard · 3 months
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did she specifically make 34 versions of TTPD because shes 34 years old
#barry.txt#taylor swift#also to make money and keep her char position long term obviously but she can never just make money it has to be some numerology bullshit#what a swiftian concept#her relationship to capital and product as an aspect to her art is endlessly interesting to me#also how she sells every album like its gonna be the last one before everyone gets sick of her and her career ends forever#she sells like its the end of the world. mulling. whatever#if she drops another fucking varant then this post means nothing#this is maybe the most interesting headspace that taylor has ever been in during an album cycle and i hope it gets less interesting soon bc#honestly i am a little worried for her#and also a little sick of her shit. She needs to get out of the eras tour/career second wind bubble that shes been in for like 3 years now#im glad that leaving bmr means shes not trapped in the strict 2 year album to tour cycle that she was in technically until rep#but actually until the pandemic forced her to stop bc rep was 2017 tour was 2018 and lover was 2019 w loverfest being 2020#but i hope she knows that that doesnt just mean dropping multiple projects a year but also...not dropping anything for a bit#chilling...taking a breath...mb honing her directing skills on other artists MVs or short films before diving into a full feature projects#working on stuff and not releasing it. writing for other people. Enjoying a beautiful sunset etc#i just want her to enjoy life when she isnt charting#i always make a very simple post and then go crazy in the tags like this could just also be a post. alas
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seilon · 1 month
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shouldn’t have checked my bank account as expected my mother has taken thousands more dollars from my savings and has almost run me dry more or less. Cool!
#I’m going to fucking call the bank and ask about a second checking account because she’s never going to make her own fucking account#it’s been like a year since she said she would and it’s just not gonna happen#she owes me thousands of dollars via me paying her fucking overdraft fees and she always says ‘what you think I won’t pay you back?’ no!!!!!#no I don’t!!!!!!! because you literally never have!!!!!!!!!!!#and where the fuck are you going to get like 8000 dollars anyway. because that’s what she owes me at the very least#even if you want to factor in like. paying her monthly for the groceries she buys and cat food and whatever that’s still. thousands of#dollars. and the worst part about it is I just have no safety net anymore#because my savings is basically nothing at this point. like nothing that can help in a dire situation anymore.#I keep thinking about whatever im going to have to end up paying for top surgery and I WOULD have a significant amount saved up to#contribute to that but haha! no I don’t! it’s fucking gone!#and I’ve been getting paid basically fucking nothing lately because of how few hours they’re scheduling me so that does not fucking help#my last paycheck was literally like half of what I should be getting. I made like 1K in the past two paychecks. that’s fucking depressing#anyway I’ve given myself a headache#I’ve been avoiding looking at my bank account because I knew it would be bad and it’d stress me the fuck out but I also have been anxious#not knowing and my mother making a few vague comments that implied she must have fucked me over. so I checked today and yeah she sure did#if I don’t make a new checking account that she can’t access i am actually going to be broke within the nenxt few months at this rate#my head hurts and I am so upset I am so upset I work so fucking hard and it doesn’t even matter i just lose money constantly#I get nothing I just pay her fucking fees and pay for my tuition and pay for everything else of any significance#and I am not exaggerating I work my ass off. I am the only person I know at my job who begs to work holidays and extra days and stay as late#as possible and it . doesn’t even matter#im going to kill myself I swear to god. there’s shit I need to buy. what am I supposed to do.#kibumblabs#vent#like shit I need to buy for WORK. my manager is getting on me about not having proper shoes for example and yeah I can get a discount#through shoes for crews but I still dont have the fucking money for anything anymore#not unless I want to run myself into the fucking ground#I need a new binder badly. I need new black pants also for work since mine are so faded at this point.#I only have one fitted sheet that doesn’t have giant holes in it#I can’t stop thinking about my last paycheck it was literally the worst I’ve seen since starting this job a year ago. fucking infuriating
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mieczyhale · 2 months
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knowing my dad is transphobic and witnessing it are somehow two different experiences every time and they both are fucking shit
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i think i understand dating now. you find a person that seems cool and you become their friend but in a romantic way until you. actually love them. yes?
#bluebird.txt#i am schrodinger's understander of romance#90% of the time i'm like why would anyone date a stranger#why would you do that#like you have a friend then you get close to that friend then become romance??#i had a HUGE crush on a girl earlier this year and then one day i made a new friend- NO romantic feelings for her at all-#but suddenly my crush evaporated in an instant? i just stopped thinking abt her or feeling anything when i DID think abt her. completely.#but like. you meet person. become friend. then you love them. then romance. yes?#that's always been my thought process of how it works#so now i’m like oh that's how Dating works! you just pick a person and fuck around and find out if you'll love them????#it's like friendship but with. romance. hey does anyone fucking know what romance is by the way#I Don't Know Anything Ever 👍🏼#also do people really see other people and think wow i want to fuck them#bc like. i've seen hot people i like hot people but i don't think ive ever seen a hot person and thought about sex#i’ve been like wow they are extremely attractive to me but never wow i want to fuck that#is that actually how people feel? they see an attractive person and they get horny? just like that?#like physically in your genitals horny??#i'll shut up now. once again I Don't Know Anything At All 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼#i WANT to date someone to know what it's like but what i really want is to fake date a friend#fuck all this shit i really might be aroace. i fucking might. i am so not sure about anything.#who give a shit i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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familiarache · 7 months
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what if i make a playlist but its literally just 'u/ryu pining after hime and ichi'
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liinos · 1 year
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saw a reel of some kids at an orchestra camp that looked suspiciously like the one i was forced to go to one year... worst experience of my life!!!
#when i tell you i think there are things stemming from that experience! my parents were actually so wrong for making me go...#my mom CRIED bc i kept insisting that i didn't want to do it bc i a) was never That into music especially not CHAMBER music#b) knew that i would not know anyone and would be stuck in the middle of nowhere with people who were already friends from previous years#c) was only even given an audition bc my teacher knew the staff and their other oboist wasn't able to go that year and they needed one#d) WAS THIRTEEN AND WANTED TO SPEND THE SUMMER WITH MY FRIENDS#i do actually think it caused me real psychic damage attending that like the fact that Everyone was already friends with everyone else...#i came with no friends and i left with no friends! and when i tried to talk to the other girls in my cabin i could tell they were like...#why are you trying to be in our friend group. there was a girl who was nice to me but i was not her friend very clearly#also i was soooo out of my depth there it was Rough for me fr and like i Knew i was out of my depth i had no illusions about that#i knew i would be which is why i was like yeah this is Not for me#i still cannot get over my mom crying about this like this wasn't some great life changing opportunity...#my parents really have and always have had these Ideals they place on me bc They think xyz would be nice#or they wish they could have done it like ??? okay why does that have anything to do with me#my dad keeps being like well *I* want you to go to grad school in mtl bc i like mtl and i want to visit 😁#like haha you're not funny actually 😁 first of all not a single damn thing is stopping you from going you can drive there whenever you want#secondly one of us does NOT want to be in mtl again 😁 and that one of us actually lived there before#also the way my parents constantly visiting me pissed me off to no fucking end... I'M NOT THE PROBLEM CHILD#worried that i just stay in my room like ???? okay??? but if i went out you'd flip bc what if it's unsafe. i LIKE staying home#and i HATED mtl so no way in hell was i going to go do shit especially not at night in the WINTER are you insane#like yeah i was super depressed. that was unrelated to me staying in my room like my room was my Space#anyway all this to say i'm setting the fuck boundary this time around like i actually dgaf i'm an adult and again#not your problem child so if you could stop projecting that onto me just bc HE fucked up when he was in school....#parents will be like why can't you be independent and then literally not let you be i 🫶🏻 it#i do also hold it against the boy child and my dad for this 'you can only go to schools within a 6 hour drive'#which is only a rule my sisters and i had and maybe if the boy child wasn't a fuck up i couldve not had it but you know#he ruined any chance of that but my dad when i was applying for college was like oh it can be anywhere :) and then was like lol no#and then was like well for grad school you can go anywhere and then when it was brought up last time went lol no :)#so i'm going to have to bring lol yes :) energy cuz...
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achilleslyre · 1 year
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ffs so much shit just happened and got revealed to me rn i need to stop talking to my family omfgg……..
#talks to aunt who reveals sickening info to me about x#-> tells my dad to not post about thing on FB bc x found out about it bc x’s friend saw it and told her#-> dad gets super pissed at x’s friend and messages her like ‘did you open your fat mouth about [thing]’#-> i wasn’t supposed to even tell my dad about it but told him just so he woukd not post about thing or future thing at all anymore#and x’s friend will now tell x that my dad messaged her about thing meaning he found out somehow and will figure it was cause of me#-> x will then probably put two and two together n realize that i probably met up with my aunt and she told me that she n x know about thing#i dont want x knowing anything about my wherabouts or that i talked to aunt#-> aunt will prolly be told off for telling me#-> aunt will prolly get mad at me for telling my dad (but i had to so he’d stop posting about thing)#and the thing is that !!!! my dad was explicitly told not to post about thing so that x will never find out ! this is so fucked up!#i’m rlly pissed off rn that x’s friend told x bc she knows EXACTLY why x was never supposed to know about it…. and told anyways…#also mad at my dad bc i told him not to do or say anything and just not post thing anymore but he went and straight up messaged x’s friend#about it which will cause issues for me#family is NAWTTTTTT worth it#why is my family such a fucking shit hole lol#thing is i straight up had to tell my aunt i would walk right out of the restaurant if she didn’t tell me how she and x found out about thin#for her to actually tell me how she found out… the fact she wanted to keep it a little secret or w/e………… i’m so pissed rn#why are family members who’ve abused u ur whole life so obsessive about finding shit out…… fuck x i hope she dies dead#jitter bugs u
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