#when i tell you i think there are things stemming from that experience! my parents were actually so wrong for making me go...

[liinos]

saw a reel of some kids at an orchestra camp that looked suspiciously like the one i was forced to go to one year... worst experience of my life!!!

[cherriteaa]

kazutora x his gorgeous gf ⭒˚｡⋆✩₊˚.

Kazutora x Black fem reader

for my 🦌anon ♡

Contents: Fluff!

(not proofread)

Kazutora is a roses man. I think he's grateful every day that he has you. He's infatuated with you (which may be issues sometimes), and will try every romantic trick in the book to woo you. He's afraid of you losing interest, or becoming unhappy with him. He knows it's wrong to 'buy' love, but he doesn't see it that way. He will try all types of handmade gifts, dates, and just visiting you. It stems from his parental issues. Just be patient and be sure to communicate with him. Kindly. It'll take loads of stress off of him. He's quite possessive and likes for you to wear his stuff (his other matching earring), shirts, and even getting your hair done in colors like him. He likes for others to know that you're his.

He loves to take care of you, even at the expense of himself. If he skips buying lunch for 2 days, can he pay for you to get your nails done? Matter of fact, can he learn how to do your nails? He can spend way more time with you that way. There's an expensive necklace you saw on tiktok and he's immediately trying to figure out how to get it for you, even at the expense of scamming people or stealing. A talk or two with him about it will set him straight though. If his lover doesn't want him to steal, he will not. Makes sure you eat at least once a day. He worries about you and your wellbeing a lot. Even just around him. He tries to be overly gentle. He knows what he's capable of, and he's secretly terrified of hurting you. He doesn’t want to be like his father. And he stresses that point. You are the MOST important thing to him. In fact, the best thing to ever happen to him. In his mind, it's like putting a rabid stray dog in charge of carefully handling a glass flower.

He's both super affectionate and super unsure of himself. He's a little nervous of coming off as annoying to you? Sometimes he just wants to reach over and cup your face, or wrap his arms around you but he's somewhat hesitant. While he likes the idea of romance with you, he's also spent so much time despising people who have good connections. It's like an out of body experience when he first got with you and tried to be gentle, since he's unused to it. If you pay attention to him, his body will almost stutter as he tries to figure out what to do. A little guidance will do him good. However, he's addicted to your touch. It's been such a long time since he's had tender innocent love that when he first gets it, he's skeptical. But from them on, he's hooked.

LECTURE HIM BEFORE YOU BRING HIM HOME TO YOUR PARENTS AND FAMILY GOOD GOD. TELL HIM TO BEHAVE. TELL HIM TELL HIM TELL HIM. I will leave it at that.

He likes to just...watch you sometimes. You can never tell what's going in his head, but when you're doing simple domestic things, it's not odd for him to just watch you for a bit before getting up to give you kisses. Especially doing hair. He’s not super skilled at it, but if you guide him, he’s willing to help. He’s just afraid of hurting you.

He hates and I mean hates to see you hurt. It’s something about injuries on someone he loves so much that makes him cave in on himself. He will tend to your wounds and then spoil you a little more than normal after. He’s very invested in whatever you’re into at the time. If you like superhero stuff, he’s watching movies with you, listening to you rant, ect ect. The same with anything, even if its a very uncommon interest. He’s not really the type to judge

He’s the type that leaves a million reels in your fucking instagram dms. His sleep schedule is really weird, and he takes a lot of naps. Often, he likes to ft you when he naps or meet you irl for a nap date.

A/N: I was supposed to post this yesterday…..Oops. Anyways, Kazutora hc’s for my lovely 🦌anon. I tried to tap in to some issues he might have bc of the not too good backstory he has w his parents, and the way their relationship affected him. I think some gentle love and hella communication will get him right tho. Also I typed this on my Ipad so I hope the formatting isn’t too weird?

Reblogs, Requests and Comments are appreciated!

My requests are : Open!

[astroismypassion]

8th house synastry, Scorpio, Aries, Capricorn Moon observations 🦂8️⃣❤️‍🔥

Credit goes to my Tumblr blog @astroismypassion

❤️‍🔥 Capricorn Moons often feel emotionally muted. When they expressed their feelings it was looked down upon by their parents as if they are over-reacting.

8️⃣ Scorpio Moon and Aries Moon can be kind, considerate only until their social battery dies out. Then they are so overwhelmed and need alone time that they become blunt, straight-forward and honest.

🦂 I feel like I could talk about 8th house synastry forever, but still couldn’t come up with a conclusion. Often times when you start having arguments, conflict, disagreements it can point to you two being too close to each other already. 8th house really means you respect individual boundaries and give space to the other to have their own life apart from relationship. So when you are too close, you have tension. But if you just allow each other more space, the person may come back on their own quickly.

❤️‍🔥 Also I noticed 8th house synastry points to wanting things fast and almost rushing it. However, I think these connections have the potential to last for 10 years, if you just don’t rush the other to please your own selfish desires first. Because usually 8th house sign makes you rather selfish. You only want them doing that for you for example.

8️⃣ And even if you already ended a connection with your 8th house person you could still have MIXED feelings about them. Like you could be relived that you are staying away from them, but still you often compare other new people to them or desire that deep connection you had with others that are new, but it’s almost like they fail. You might even subconsciously try to connect with other people of that sign over your 8th house. Like if your person was Capricorn Sun and you have Capricorn over the 8th house, you might look for other Capricorn Suns, because their ENERGY seems so familiar to you. But that’s more often when that previous Capricorn Sun is STILL “in your energy field”.

🦂 Another thing I noticed: you might be sooo CURIOUS about what sign over your 8th house thinks about your friends, what do they like or dislike the most about you. Even if they said they like you yesterday, you might still doubt it today or want to hear it again.

❤️‍🔥 8th house can sometimes feel like a therapist for the planet person in synastry.

8️⃣ If you Capricorn Venus, it indicates that your partner might reminisce about how you were when they met you A LOT. They might often comment on the first moments you met. Like they might say to you that they really like how you smiled so much, even though now you might be more composed and reserved.

🦂 I think in the early stages of 8th house synastry, the other person will say or do something that will trigger you due to unpleasant previous experience or situation. For example: person always goes out partying with their friends every Friday, but you are more of a homebody, because you don’t feel safe at parties. And there will be this feel like the other person is saying or doing things on purpose to annoy you. When in reality they might not even be aware that this triggers you or you two are just different in terms of habits or likes, dislikes etc.

❤️‍🔥 People LOVE break-up songs of Capricorn Venus native. Or those that have Venus at a Capricorn degree. Even Venus Saturn aspects.

8️⃣ You might often test each other in 8th house synastry as well. Because the bond seems so deep, intense from the get go, you won’t trust the feeling, therefore not fully trust the person, because you will feel like they “put a spell on you”. So you might both do things that test each other’s limits or to get an opinion.

🦂 But because you’ll feel like you naturally trust the 8th house person, you might be really honest with them and straight-forward (more than with other people). And this is where telling each other fears, secrets or desires stems from.

❤️‍🔥 I noticed Capricorn Moons a lot of the times are not that stereotypically hard-working. If there are other siblings in the family, they might actually be the one that works hard the least. I think this is because they only value what has survived through time and if they achieved that themselves. Like if they started that project themselves or if they want to continue a tradition of something.

8️⃣ Scorpio Moon can often times come across almost as a Gemini. Because they have this magnetic, bubbly side and the deep, brooding more intense one. And they can switch moods rather quickly and it depends in which environment they are spending time.

Credit goes to my Tumblr blog @astroismypassion

[m3nt4llyr4v3d]

Gabriel vs Chloe/Lila

I used to frequent the Miraculous subreddit (biggest mistake of my life) to see others opinions on Seasons 4 and 5. One question I would see pop up usually is as follows:

Why do people think Chloe/Lila is worse than Gabriel?

The common answer I’ve seen is that bullying and isolation are issues that the audience can relate to, something that’s more down to earth and closer to a viewer’s potential issues. Gabriel, meanwhile, is a supervillain who makes other ridiculously costumed supervillains when they feel bad, his situation was farther out, less relatable, so hammed up at times (cartoon and all) that people would take it less seriously.

And honestly? I completely understood this answer: many viewers’ overwhelming hatred of Chloe and Lila, from what I’ve seen, stemmed from personal relation to their victims, and their own experiences with bullies. It’s completely understandable why people would feel this way.

But then I thought about it for a second, and while I still understand that reasoning, I don’t understand it in any other context.

I mean, I’ve seen people on there genuinely say that Gabriel had more redeeming qualities than them, which confuses me. Lila I kind of understand, I mean we know literally nothing about this character, and the fandom reason of “she lies for attention because her mother is barely home”, which would give her sympathy, was a little… muddled, when it’s revealed she has 3 moms that she’s somehow lying to about being their daughter (what on earth) and has multiple identities. But Chloe? Season 2-3 was showing that she did have redeeming qualities, that she cared about people (few but regardless), she was even able to suck up her own pride when being a hero! Gabriel… He’s an odd case in which the story goes back and forth on whether he’s an awful irredeemable monster, or flawed but sympathetic dad trying his best, while also flip flopping on when exactly they want you to believe as much. Right now? He’s horrible, but the narrative want you to believe he’s just “trying his best” and thinks that he somehow has the room to ask Marinette to “tell Adrien to remember all the times I was a good father” (Marinette should’ve spat on his statue ngl)

Also, Gabriel is a neglectful, dare I say abusive father! Literally mind controls his son and is trying to control him to have the “destiny” that HE wants, not caring about his son at all. He literally pretends to bond with him at one point in Season 5 just so he could give him an alliance ring and walk off smirking, planning on akumatizing him (never brought up again btw). Like, I get that Hawkmoth is more of a hammy cartoon villain, and a lot of those aspect spill into Gabriel (I mean he had a silly stupid number near the beginning of season 5 that I hate to love). But the Gabriel half is genuinely horrible, and those aspects spill into Hawkmoth. Akumatizing, physically abusing your son, and ruining his relationship to akumatize his girlfriend in Chat Blanc, emotionally manipulating him with his dead mother in both Chat Blanc and Ephemeral, literally any time he causes an akuma on purpose by ruining the life of someone he used to be close with or personally knows (the comedian, Andre, anyone working under him), emotionally manipulating his son AGAIN just so he could plan to akumatize him later, locking him up in a white room and emotionally depriving him of everything, literally everything he does in season 5 actually. I understand that some of his more atrocious actions are supervillain things, and that could be more difficult to relate to real life problems. But come on, “neglectful, abusive, controlling parent” is absolutely a real life issue that people have, and it’s a bit strange I haven’t seen that brought up more often

I’m not saying that Chloe and Lila are saints by any means at all! But I am just saying that’s it’s kind of funny that people will say, with their whole chest, that vindictive bullying is actually worse than terrorism and abusing your child, and the idea that the narrative could agree with this scares me

[lovelessrage]

Hi! I've been trying to educate myself on various aro and ace experiences and concepts, and I find your blog really helpful with that. However, I have a question about lovelessness that I wonder if you could help me with?

While reading a post about lovelessness that seemed influential (https://aroworlds.com/2019/07/16/i-am-not-voldemort-an-essay-on-love-and-amatonormativity/) I started thinking about families and the responsibilities of parents. I know someone (not aro or ace) who has struggled a lot in their adult life because their parents showed little emotion/tried to repress bad emotions to protect their children, and who never told their children that they loved them. This person feels unworthy of love today and has been going to therapy for years to try to manage it. Obviously it's very complicated and no one can know for certain where this person's issues stem from, but I was just curious to hear about a loveless person's opinion on this topic.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, do you think loveless parents have a responsibility to show their children love / tell them that they are loved even if they (the parent) does not actually experience love?

Would be very grateful for a response and I hope this does not come across as rude 🙏

Well, I think, at least in my personal opinion, there's many ways to show affection to children beyond saying "love". The thing is, children learn what you teach them. If you teach them love as the final frontier, the wholeness of your care, and then take it from them, they'll notice its absence. So, you... don't base your child's worth on love! You base it on something else.

If you tell a child you care for them, you want the best for them, you are proud of them, etc. from an early age, they can still feel cared for without "love" needing to be said. You can show affection in a lot of ways! You just need to show your child those ways and establish early that you still care, even if you don't use the same language other parents might use. Kids can recognise when they were raised differently, so a parent should be ready to have conversations about why they're different from their peers. It can be a good way to introduce your child to the fact it's okay to be different than people around them, and that they don't need to be exactly like every other family.

The main holding point is the expectation that someone would teach their child that love is absolute and then refuse to give it to them; this just isn't realistic. Any loveless parent who wants healthy kids isn't going to enforce love normativity just to dissapoint their children by not being able to give it. How someone cares for their child varies, and it's a conversation you can have properly when they're old enough to understand. But, in the meantime, there's many, many ways to have a child feel safe and secure without saying "I love you". It's about building their confidence and support network, not establishing love as the most important thing in the world so you can tell your toddler they can't have it. THAT'S how you screw up a baby. When they're older and can understand more complex concepts, you can talk about the word "love" as a family and what it means to you and your child. It'll depend on each and every person what comes of that, but regardless, it's important to reaffirm love isn't necessary for that child to be an important part of your life.

They have an obligation to show their child they are wanted, they are welcome, they are safe with you, and they are cared for; this doesn't necessitate love. All it takes are dedicated parents willing to put in the work required for raising a baby, and make sure their child knows they mean the world to them without using the word "love".

[Plus, from personal experience as someone who did get told I was loved by my family? It didn't help me out. At all. Mostly because the word meant nothing when they did not back it up with anything. Love only means as much as you put into it.]

[jadeacereigen]

i also always felt like the fandom depicting reigen's childhood as abusive and neglectful never really quite fit. i know that most of it is probably just projection, and it's something i really understand because i've done it before with other characters.

i feel like there's a difference between giving a character trauma that makes sense when taking their canon self into account and giving a character trauma for other unrelated reasons, like comfort or even for fun, to be able to explore the scenarios that would come with it. both are very valid. let the people do what they want, y'know?

but something i feel like people tend to gloss over sometimes is that parents can fuck up when raising you and still not be outright shitty evil people. they can judge you on your career choices and still love you. your friends can make an off the cuff comment that ends up sticking with you in a bad way without realizing, people can suck at showing they care about you while still caring about you, they can be imperfect just as much as you are. it's their first time on this earth too. and it doesn't excuse the times they may have hurt you or made you feel bad about yourself, but it's up to you if you wanna keep them in your life. everyone can change, but that's also up to them.

it gives reigen an added charm [or should i say humanity?], to know that he is a flawed person and that it stems from the things that happened when he was younger, and the people that were in his life, and to know that things don't need to be catastrophic for them to affect and/or change you, whether good or bad. it's a good thing to remember i think. to know that there's so many greys between the white and black. that he has layers. his experiences are very valid.

anywho. sorry for the long ramble i just had to get this out there hehe.

ask game time!!!! 25, 9 and 22

Oh my god no don't apologize you're so right. I agree 100% so I'm gonna answer with my own long ramble.

(Discussions of child abuse below, though nothing that's not present in MP100 canon.)

Yes, it almost feels like people want to dismiss all flawed parenting and strained relationships between parent and child as abuse. There's certainly something very wrong with Reigen and his parents' relationship but I'm gonna be honest, I don't understand how people can find redemption in Toichiro who literally beat up his own son but then at the same time demonize Reigen's parents for the crime of disapproving his life as a CONMAN.

Yes, Reigen actually helps his clients and refuses to take money for things he cannot fix, but he's an incredibly special case and his parents are like most people who have no clue that the supernatural is even real. I personally think IRL psychics are full of shit and prey on the naive and emotionally vulnerable. If I had a kid who quit their normal job and spent all their savings to become a psychic I would not be happy with them! I would hope I wouldn't be as cold and that they wouldn't live in fear of my messages to them but I would definitely be encouraging them to stop that shit and get a "real job". To think that his parents should support his choices in life when he's pretending to be a psychic with no additional context is wild to me. (Also, I can't find the translation anymore but Reigen says in the fanbook that his mom thinks he's being tricked into doing his current job.) Again, they could go about this in a much better way but this disapproval does not inherently point to abuse.

(Sorry this rant got very long so everything else is below the cut.)

I think the biggest thing that points to Reigen's parents not being as awful as they are in fan content is that even after Reigen gets publicly exposed for being a con artist, his mom does tell him to learn his lesson from this but she also takes the time to prepare him an apology, tells him that he should come home (instead of telling him he's not welcome home/disowning him) and emphasizes that she's on his side. Maybe you could consider that the bare minimum of a decent parent but this to me just doesn't feel like she's the hateful abusive mother so often depicted. She could be warmer about it but she's obviously super concerned and wants Reigen to know she cares about him regardless of his actions.

(As for his dad, all we know is that he and Reigen don't talk to each other at all and that he thinks Reigen is unemployed. This relationship is definitely worse than Reigen and his mom's but there's little to go off of in terms of if his dad is a terrible parent or not. His mom seems to think he's worried about Reigen and that would definitely not surprise me.)

In terms of how Reigen feels about his parents, in the fanbook he acknowledges that there have been misunderstandings from both sides and that he'd like to talk things out with them and visit them more often. That's such a real thing lots of people can relate to and I'd love to see that get explored! I want to see Reigen patch things up with his parents! Maybe I'll write out my stupid fic idea for it idk.

I also don't want to stereotype but I am from an East Asian family myself and grew up surrounded by others so I feel like it's safe for me to say that Reigen's parents really remind me of your typical older generation of Asian parents. (Reigen was born in 1984 so his parents would definitely be of the boomer ilk, potentially even the Silent Generation if they had him on the older side.) Reigen also says in the fanbook that his parents are very serious people. Oftentimes with that older generation they just don't really show their care the way you'd normally see it. There may never be any "I love yous" but they'll cut you a plate of fruit without you asking or remember the show you liked 10 years ago and assume you're still into it...

Of course, parental norms in a culture don't justify hurtful parenting. (I mean just watch Everything Everywhere All At Once if you want to see the pain of having a disapproving Asian parent despite knowing they love you and just want what they think is best for you.) His mom fussing over his job and his lack of a girlfriend may be a super "Asian parent" thing, but it definitely hurts Reigen's feelings and she should cut that out. So yeah, Reigen's parents could do a lot better in terms of making Reigen feel supported and loved regardless if they approve of his life choices or not, but Reigen wants to patch things up with them for a reason and I'm hopeful that they can all reach a better understanding with each other.

One thing I also wish the anime showed was that Reigen's mom talks to him on the phone after Separation Arc! We see that in this omake:

Reigen definitely didn't tell his parents his phone number or his home address if his mom had to resort to emailing his business address just to talk to him. But I like to think that after Separation Arc he started letting his mom into his life a bit more...

God this was such a long rant, I'm sorry. One final thing before I get to your questions is that if we really need abusive parents to hate, Teru's non-present parents are ripe for the picking... Just saying.

(ask game)

I'm assuming you mean Reigen for all of these btw

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Gosh I initially thought he was just a silly goofy character who could be annoying and pathetic at times, but I enjoyed his presence on-screen. Then he got deeper in the Season 1 finale and showed just how much he truly cared about Mob... That part definitely got me shook. He only got better and better from there and now he's one of my favorite characters in the story.

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Jesus christ uh I definitely don't think he'd be a bad roommate and we'd probably get along just fine but I also think I'd annoy the shit out of him. I'm not the best at keeping my space neat and clean. Also the thought of meeting Reigen in person is actually terrifying... Reigen should never exist outside the world of fiction because his pure chaos would be too much for reality.

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

Hmm I answered what I don't like last time, but I do like fics that explore his relationship with Mob or Serizawa. I also like seeing him confront more of his personal issues and grow as a person even if he gets a little hurt in the process-

[good-beans]

You talked a little while ago about why you don't think Shidou would make a good father to Amane (agreed) and proposed the idea of Mahiru adopting Amane. That's cute but I want to tell you about my post-MILGRAM headcanon:

Amane joins the Kajiyamas

Not Fuuta specifically adopting her, but like him taking her back to his family's house. I'm sure they'd have a spare room

I think people don't think about Fuuta's homelife much, or if they do they take Fuuta's one interrogation question where he calls his dad an old fogey and assume its like, abusive

And don't get me wrong, I don't think the Kajiyama household are perfect. Fuuta' beautician sister surely hasn't helped when it comes to Fuuta's body image issues and I'm betting they're all a bunch of tsunderes too embarrassed to say they love each other

But in a series where most of the abused characters are still convinced their abuser loved them/acted out of love. Seeing a guy not be afraid to call his dad a loser is almost a green flag

I think it'd be good for Amane to not necessarily be adopted as the lone child to a single parent but get to be introduced to a very different style of family unit from her own One where its normal to express different opinions or disagreements or even have arguments and not have it be the end of the world

Amane already has a snarky side to her, I bet it'd flourish in a brash household like the Kajiyama's (or at least how I imagine them to be)

OOHHH wait I love that so much! >:O

I agree -- I never interpreted Fuuta's family as abusive or harmful, just not super close and struggling a bit after his mother left. (And yeah, all as openly emotional as him😭) They seem stable and very capable to taking in a extra, very well-behaved child. Assuming Fuuta is the way he is because of them, that atmosphere of being very honest and forward would work well for her. They say things as they are, little by little pointing out the harmful parts of her worldview. Like you said, none of them make excuses about harmful behavior stemming from love, so she'd get a really healthy dose of truth in that area. She never feels coddled or treated like a baby. They care for her while treating her very maturely.

I absolutely love how well she and Fuuta get along, with that snarky side to her that you mentioned. It would allow her to fit in well in the new household, getting the sense of belonging she'll lose after leaving the cult. Also, seeing how Fuuta and his sister let things slip and aren't perfect sons/daughters, she'll be able to relax about earning a parent's love through perfect behavior. She'll probably stay exactly the same, but her stress about it will fade <3

I doubt Fuuta's father can ever replace the hole she'll have from her own father, but the addition of an older sister will be huge. Amane will never get the feeling her mother is being replaced, but the woman will still fill the gap of the older, same-gender role model she needs. Her beautician job may throw Amane at first (being an indulgence in vanity), but it isn't as in-your-face as other careers. I think she could definitely ease Amane into accepting it, and over time, accepting her own personal "indulgence."

Plus, her moving in would also be really good for Fuuta! I think he'd recognize there's a ton of fun things she missed out on, and that heroic side of him outweighs the part that cringes: he gripes and groans about going to "kid places," but he's always the one to announce "I can't believe you've never been to __, we're going right now!!" This allows him to touch grass leave the house and experience his own life to the fullest. He's able to channel his desire to help society into a healthier outlet. Also, seeing her studying habits and plans for the future might even inspire him to do the same. (might.) He becomes the stereotypical good big brother, though of course he denies it viciously...

I have recently been going insane over their friendship so I'm completely taken with this idea OUGH thank you for telling me ;-----;

[bluegarners]

Do you think Dick Grayson actually has Eldest Daughter Syndrome? He's not really around his siblings in terms of when they first became Robin and were being raised as such. Like, he certainly played older sibling with Tim, and the lines were more or less blurred with Damian seeing as Dick took on the role of Batman/parental figure for his first time as Robin, but I'm not sure if Eldest Daughter fits Dick. Bruce didn't really pass on the duty of raising any of the Robins to Dick and it was more out of obligation/his inherent kindness that made Dick play any kind of role with his successors.

heyy anon!

i do not actually! i know my most recent fic would say that i do believe he has eldest daughter syndrome, and i only briefly explained my thoughts on it in the first chapter note, but i really don't think dick has EDS. he has traits and shares some similarities, but 1) he is not a daughter (which is integral to what eldest daughter syndrome represents- the loss of a daughter role mixed in with the role of parent/mother to siblings and the actual parents) and 2) dick isn't quite in a place to care that much. <- that sounds a bit harsh but i think it is mostly true. yes, like you said anon, dick has looked after his siblings and bruce out of his inherent goodness of heart/kindness and the obligation that comes with being under the bat symbol (you look after your own), and under a certain lens that can be skewed as EDS in the way that dick is the oldest/first and the bat unit resembles a family unit. however, dick has been shown time and time again being comfortable with leaving when things get too... oppressive isn't the right word, but i think dick is somewhere on that scale of "if it sucks, hit the bricks." when being robin became more of a minion of batman and not an individual, dick left to be with the titans. when being the leader of the titans as robin became too much, he became nightwing and stationed himself in bludhaven. when he does go back to gotham, it's not usually to see anyone in particular, it's almost always surrounding a case or a crime he wants to investigate/was invited to investigate personally. there's the bonus of hanging around whoever happens to be in gotham at the time, and we've gotten some great, cute scenes of dick being a good older brother to tim and damian, but otherwise, dick isn't one to stick around

now, all of that to say, i think dick has a version of EDS that can just be shortened to eldest syndrome. like i said earlier, a lot of dick's issues stem from being the first child/son/robin of batman/bruce. and the dichotomy between how he interacts with bruce versus batman as dick grayson or robin is... something, to say the least. dick wasn't initially brought into the fold as an adopted son. for the papers and outside world that was how it was seen, but both dick and bruce started their relationship as a partnership in justice. over time they became more to each other than just coworkers living in the same house, but at the start, that's what they were. to add to that, the complexity of what batman and robin mean to each other is another layer, which tim's robin aptly puts as batman needing robin as a moral compass/a light to keep him out of the dark. from as young as 9 years old (depending on the iteration) dick was in charge of keeping bruce in line, keeping him from leaning too far into the dark abyss of violence and easy injustice. that's a lot to place on a child, keeping the city's protector on the straight and narrow, but along with that, dick was also still under the guardianship of an adult-- actually, two adults. the adults are the ones who are supposed to tell the child right from wrong, this from that, but dick used what his parents taught him and applied that to the new adults in his life, adults who saw vigilantism as the norm. bruce had no experience with children/how to raise them, and alfred isn't exactly a model caretaker seeing as he allowed bruce to fall into such a dark place as to resort to becoming a man like batman. they did their best and never meant any harm towards dick, but i don't think anyone is giving them a trophy for world's best parents

EXCEPT

dick totally would. and that's where i think that eldest syndrome comes into play because dick doesn't see another path for him outside of the life he was raised in. i can't remember the issue, but dick made the observation that bruce would trade his current life for one in which his parents were alive. dick, however, observes that he would not trade his current life for his old one. there is no going back for dick grayson- he loves bruce, he loves batman, and he loves being a vigilante. and because his belief in this lifestyle is so strong, he's going to defend the way he was raised with all his might. he's going to defend bruce with all his might. bruce and alfred are on such high pedestals for dick, unattainable, in a place where dick believes he's never going to reach. they are it to him, the best of the best, and dick's entire life has been dedicated to living up to their expectations that, honestly, are not there. to bruce and alfred, dick is the best of the best, better than them, but to dick, he believes that he still has so much to live up to and that he's never going to amount to enough to take on batman's legacy (a legacy he does not want at all but fears that he'll fail- which his fears come to life when he does become batman but that's another discussion). however, even though bruce and alfred believe dick is what their lifestyle as vigilantes should represent, they don't ever really tell dick and actually do quite a lot to contradict their beliefs. dick and bruce's falling out is legendary, i've made a few web weaves on it before, but they keep coming back to each other because it's all they know. they love each other and that love is too great at times and leads them to reveal the very worst parts of themselves because so much of what they are is reflected back onto the other

@/dustorange said it best once: "the thing with dick is that dick is about FREEDOM and DISCIPLINE which can coexist but then there’s bruce and what dick has for bruce is DEVOTION which means the sacrifice of freedom which is dick’s defining desire and"

to me, dick's love for bruce and his family is what keeps him coming back to them again and again despite his misgivings that he refuses to acknowledge. dick wants to live independently and without the restriction of knowing that should bruce call he would come running. however, he can't. he is and always will be tied to the obligations that come with being bruce's son and batman's first robin. that sense of needing to be there for a grown man since childhood never quite goes away for dick. he tires over and over again to separate himself from gotham and robin, but there is no use in doing so because he loves those things even if they have hurt him- even if the people attached to those things continue to hurt him. in current canon, things are better between dick and bruce and everyone else, but the decades of the "will they won't they" reformation of whether dick can coexist with his ideals and grounded obligations can't be erased from his character

so, to sum, no i don't believe that dick has eldest daughter syndrome, but i do believe that so much of his character is inherently intertwined with his roles as robin and as a son of bruce wayne. a separation of the two cannot exist peacefully, so his identity as a singular person cannot be defined in a way that matters, both to him and as observers of his character

[lyra-heartstring]

TW: Mentions of Sh, suicide, Od, racism ( self directed/internalized )

Before i start, the racism part of this is genuinely only to myself. I dont care what race other people are, i just hate mine.

Letter for the boy in the mirror that i wish to kill.

Spending the past 16 years of my life being ugly has been my enternal hell. I have to live everyday knowing im conventionally unattractive and no matter the clothes i wear and the way i style myself ill always be ugly. I have wonderful outfits that i think are really fucking cool or just nice and casual, but the only issue is my face and my skin. I dont want to deal with this shit, i hate my skin tone and i hate everyone trying to tell me to be proud of it. " Black is beautiful "Go fuck yourself, im not and for some reason everyone feels the need to let me know like i havent had to live with this body that i wish wasn't nine. "You're ugly" " who would like you" " you can atleast try to be funny " all of you can die, im tired of you and your fake sympathetic bullshit or the rejections in which i get infantalized bc people dont wwnt to be mean, just for me to find out wbt what they were thinking later. I get it im ugly and i tucking hate my race every issue i have stems in some way shape or form from those 2 factors (gender is another but that's a seperate rant on its own ) and don't give me that bullshit " its just your style " " dress nicely " fashion is a looks thing irregardless of how u want to spin it. Outfits look good because of how the person looks and for some fucking reason nothing works with me. My parents are trying to style me as some proper black christiwn boy, thats litterally the entire opposite of what i want to be. i have to deal with everyone tell me shit like " your outfit looks good", hoping one day they talk about me. " your shirt is nice " what about me?, " your outfit is cute ", what about me?. Ive spent years living as the billshit excuse of a human being with people shoving it down throat that im ugly, but THE SECOND I TRY TO KILL MY SELF OR I CUT MYSELF EVERYONE IS SUDDENLY THE GOOD SAMARITAN READY TO SAVE ME FROM MY TROUBLES. " Im jealous of you ", " i wish i looked like you ", " you arent ugly " I swear to every single celestial being i will rip off the head of the next person who tries to spoon feed me this bullshit. Im the person who is better off taking the photos, the one in the back of the pictures being blocked by people and thanks to my fucking skin tone i looked like some fucked up horror monster in polaroids. Now that its been 16 years of not a single person being there for me, suddenly everyone is some empath and knows how i feel. " i relate " " i understand how you " NO YOU FUCKING DONT, YOU POST AESTHETIC PHOTOS OF YOURSELF WEEKLY, HAVE PEOPLE HITTING ON YOU, WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT BC U ARE ATTRACTIVE ANYWAYS SO ANYTHING U WEAR IS A " fit ". GO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF, TRY BEING THE PERSON THAT EVERYONR IS SUPRISED MANAGES TO DATE SOMEONE, ITS NOT THE SURPRISED OF " we didnt know " ITS THE BULLSHIT SURPRISE WHETE THEY ACY LIKE YOUR PARTNER IS BLIND OR YOU ARR PAYING THE PERSON TO DATE YOU. ITS THAT BULLSHIT SURPRISE YHAT SOMEONE ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH LIKES YOU. IF YOU EVEN GO THROUGH A PORTION OF THAT THEN MAYBE SAY U UNDERSTAND ME, DONT TRY TO RELATE TO MY STORY WHEN YOUR BIGGEST WORRY IS BEING HIT ON. MY BIGGEST WORRY IS BEING CALLED CREEPY BC I SAID I LIKE SOMEONE, OR A WEIRDO BC I CONFESS TO SOMEONE " i like you " BC ITS CRAZY THAT MY ABORTED FETUS LOOK-A-LIKE SELF HAS YHE AUDACITY TO DEVELOP FEELINGS WHILR LOOKING THE WAY I DO. EVERYONE ELSE CAUSE DO THE SAME SHIT AND ITS A SILLY FUN HIGHSCHOOL EXPERIENCE, ITS FUNNY, AKWARD, ROMANTIC. What i would give to be a different person, different hair, different face, different race, different voice, the amout i would throw away just for that is unmeasureable. To the higher beings i hate you for what you have

done to me, people worship you for what you have fone for them, and im suppossed to join along and be thankful of the gift of life when my life has been nothing but a curse. I hate you for how i look, i hate that everyday i have to find new methods to not think or look into mirrors bc my immediate reaction to commit suicide. Im 16 with a violent hatred towards my face, a waste of space incomplete cell called my body, the urge/desire to kill myself the second i think abt how i look, pure hatred and negativity. I spend all my time cutting because the moment the blade leaves my skin i remember im ugly. The many nights i stare into the mirror with the pills in my hand as i cry for being dealt this shit of a hand from life. I hope for happiness one day but ik that i will never find it nor will i let go of this anger. To the few people reading this

[thislovintime]

The Monkees, 1965.

“‘I was the dummy’ on the show, laughs Tork […]. [When he left The Monkees] he felt burned by his experience, with the show and chose, for a decade, to leave the past behind. Now Tork has a more charitable outlook on the series that catapulted him and his three cohorts to instant fame. His bitterness stemmed from ‘how much I took to heart the kinds of criticism leveled against The Monkees. There’s no school for rock stars. Nobody tells you what to take to heart. When criticisms comes from all sides, you think it’s coming from a monolith source,’ said Tork […]. ‘For a long time I felt unworthy of the success. But then I said I had been picked out of a crowd of 400 — there must have been a reason.’ […] Although Tork ‘loved’ doing the show, he says the price was a loss of privacy. […] So what kind of dreams does a man who finds relative anonymity a ‘welcome relief’ have for his new band? ‘Not much. Just adulation from millions, untold wealth and cookouts on weekends with my family,’ he deadpanned. ‘Are you getting all this down?’” - article by Jocelyn McClurg, Hartford Courant, February 26, 1982

“When he was nine years old, Peter Tork’s parents bought him a piano for $15. He taught himself to play and to read music. But then his parents delivered an ultimatum: either take piano lessons or don’t touch the piano again. Fourteen years later, Tork’s musical skills landed him quite a job. For three years, Tork was a member of the Monkees, one of the most popular bands of the ‘60s. […] In a telephone interview this week, Tork explained why he left the group in 1968, three years after it was formed. ‘Musicians were being auditioned in an effort to create the Monkees, and the purpose was to reap money,’ he said. ‘But for our first two albums, studio musicians were hired to do the instrumentals and we just did the lead singing. I didn’t want that.’ Tork convinced the other three members, Davy Jones, [Micky] Dolenz and Mike Nesmith, to do the third album themselves. ‘But I couldn’t get the guys to go for that again, so the fourth album was half and half,’ he said. Critics had frowned on the Monkees for this. ‘Every single malcontent felt he had the right to tell me what was wrong with the situation. I took the critics to heart,’ Tork said. ‘When I talked to the guys about it, they told me if I want more I should get my own act.’ Tork describes his current relationship with Jones, Dolenz and Nesmith as ‘cordial.’ ‘I learned to put all my bitterness behind me,’ he said. ‘I hear about them through the grapevine, but we have no real call to talk to each other, although, I had a brief lunch with Davy Jones in Japan recently.’ When Tork joined the Monkees in October 1965, he was 23 years old and inexperienced in handling fame and fortune. ‘There’s a lot of things involved with money and recognition, and the price was much higher than I expected,’ he said. ‘There’s an isolating pressure that goes along with success. I couldn’t handle it.’ After he left the Monkees, Tork did some solo work for a while and taught at secondary schools in Los Angeles [Read more about Peter's time teaching here.]. ‘I developed a better reality system as a teacher,’ he said. ‘I discovered that there were the same kind of power-hungry personalities in education as in entertainment. I thought I was getting out of all that but I realized that I can’t escape from reality.’ Tork laughed in the easy, carefree way which seems to be so characteristic. ‘It’s amazing how thrilling life has gotten now that I’ve learned how to live it,’ he said. ‘There are two kinds of pain — the pain from growing up and the pain from refusing to grow at all.’ Tork now does his living and growing in Venice, Calif., with his wife, niece, 12-year-old daughter, 6-year-old son and ‘terminally epileptic’ dog. ‘I really love to entertain,’ he said. ‘Not a day goes by when I don’t think about music. I’ll never leave the industry again.’
 Then he laughed. ‘But you never can tell,’ he said. ‘Maybe some day I’ll become a serious and adept politician.’ Doesn’t seem likely, though.” - article by Lisa Stenza, Connecticut Daily Campus, February 26, 1982

[farfromstrange]

Ok so

Daddy issues is so relatable, as in like growing up in a rough childhood (specially with a dad like that) I felt it to my bones.

Srsly, your writing made me feel like I was being heard. Like, now people are gonna realise why I don’t like when people get mad and raise their voices, why I’m such a people pleaser, why I wanna be liked more than hated.

And I can’t thank you enough, because not only did I feel like my story is kinda being said. But THE MATTHEW MURDOCK is the king comforting me, and I felt a huge sense of comfort (it sounds weird Ik) when I finished reading that.

I keep on rereading it a lot and it makes me feel so safe and secure for some reason.

Ik, you’re probably not gonna read this 😭😭.

But this is my thank you for being such an amazing writer!!!

LOVE ALL YOUR WORK SIS, DON’T STOP BEING AMAZING 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

Nonnie, it took me two days to figure out how on earth to reply to this because it made me so emotional, I struggled to find the right words.

First of all, I’m so horribly sorry that you had your childhood was the way it was. It’s not something you would wish on anyone. I think no one really wants to relate to what I discussed in Daddy Issues, but there are a lot of people who do, especially from the experiences they’ve had with their fathers. It’s needless to say that you deserve the world and that being treated like that is not the way to treat your own child.

That being said, you being so brave as to tell me this made my heart swell to, like, twice its usual size because I realized once again that this right there is the reason I even decided to post Daddy Issues. As self-indulgent as that fic is, and as much as I struggled with whether to post it or not, I figured that some of you guys might feel the same way or have experienced something similar, so I posted it in the hopes of not crossing a line by being too personal.

Reading all the responses ever since I posted it made me come to the realization though that a lot of you have also been traumatized by at least one parent in your lives, and it’s a cathartic experience every time to see and hear that I’m not alone in this, in what I’m struggling with—what we’re struggling with—and that you guys now know that you are not alone in this either. That’s why posting this fic was 100% worth it.

People who have not gone through the same thing often have a hard time understanding why we cry when someone yells at us, or why we feel like we always have to please everyone. They don’t understand that daddy issues often stem from serious trauma—it’s not just being drawn to dangerously older guys, and it’s not something to be sexualized in that context because daddy kinks are an entirely different thing—and that tends to make you feel extremely lonely because you feel like you’re exaggerating and ‘oh a lot of people have had it worse than me’. That’s hurtful though because everyone’s feelings are valid, and trauma will always be horrible, no matter the extent.

(And there is hardly enough representation of that particular psychological issue)

I didn’t think this fic would bring that many people together, but I’m so glad it did. I’m so glad it gave you, nonnie, some semblance of comfort, and that you’re finally feeling some kind of heard. Because you are. I feel you.

Sometimes all it takes is someone who understands. Sometimes we all just need a little bit of comfort. And sometimes people don’t understand, but the important thing to note is that you’re not alone. You’re never alone.

Anyway, you just made me cry. I’m not even kidding. I feel so grateful that I get to share my experiences with you through fiction, and that it actually helps you guys in a way. And it’s words like yours that inspire me to keep writing, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Whoever you are, I hope you’re having an amazing day, and I’m sending you a big hug 🫶🏻 And this is also a gentle reminder that you’re going to be okay!

[nerves-nebula]

Re read Loose Stitches and it got me thinking about school experiences that made me realize something really weird my parents always said that stemmed into something that actively still a problem now that I’m in university, where I really struggle to admit when I’m struggling or don’t know something, even though that’s the point of school. My parents always used to say I shouldn’t ever say “I don’t know” and got mad at me for asking questions about stuff they asked me to do, and got reaaal snippy whenever I asked for clarification or for them to repeat what the told me to do. Stuff like that made me weird about getting help from teachers in any scenario, which I’m realizing is a whole avoidant behavior thing that fucks me up even when I do ask for help. Any way, I don’t know why I’m telling u any of this—I feel like my asks to u always get traumadump-y—but Loose Stitches captures a series of very vivid experiences which makes me think which is cool and I love it a lot, I guess.

sammeeee. well, sort of. they'd both get annoyed if i questioned them and my own self imposed anxiety + their bullying made me terrified to ask questions and look "stupid" but at least my dad is enamored enough by the concept of learning that he doesn't hate ALL questions. if you ask the right ones he'll even be delighted :D at least, that's what I remember. it's been a long time now.

I'm in my junior year of college and I've basically only just now realized that I should probably have emailed professors a lot more than I did. for help, advice, questions. i mean they're the greatest assets we have here, they have SO MUCH knowledge and I've just been too afraid of bothering them to ask.

y'know, loose stitches was never supposed to be about school or the education system or CPS or anything like that. in fact, while writing part 1 I was initially annoyed because I wanted to get to all the "cool" stuff that happens in part 2 and I needed to spend all this time in this setting i didn't care about (this weird hybrid CPS housing/college campus) in order to do it. but in having to flesh out that "boring" stuff in part 1, i've found that's not so boring or uninteresting after all, and it's gonna make part 2 way better as well when i dive into all the ways the system can and has failed people, not JUST our main two characters.

honestly, I still think the world of loose stitches is kind of underdeveloped, because the focus was never really on the world building for me so a lot of it is just life experiences and what I've learned from history with a slightly different nonhuman context.

ummmm that has nothing to do with what you've said here and i just realized im rambling. should get back to work now, thanks for the ask! I always love to hear what people think about my comic <3

[cool-thymus]

Give me 3 fave headcanons of your blorbo! 🌈🌤️✨

omg you want my headcanons?? oh, ok-ok! *gets up on tumblr stage, knees shaking, fumbling with note cards*

Obito

He is a reader. As a kid he used to have a lot of adventure books and encyclopedias because he was a very curious boy. He used books to keep him company; since there was no one to tell him bedtime stories, he'd read them himself! Then (if it's a Good!Obito AU) as he gets older and dreams of becoming Hokage, Obito reads books to understand how the ninja world works, some humanitarian papers maybe, because he wants to understand what he can do to change things for the better. He is easily distracted, true, but he's not dumb! And if it's post canon where he survives the war, my hc is that he gathers all his life experience to produce good quality philosophy papers that would become guidelines for future generations to build a happier world.

He is a good dancer! A natural. He just KNOWS how to move those hips and is rather confident on the dance floor (people be turning their heads 'cause wow that guy's hot!) This hc stems from my Obito parents headcanons one of them being that family celebrates by dancing together - Obimama, Obidad, and their boy Obito.

He looks best in red (and he knows it xD). No srsly, guys, imagine him wearing a read headband and you'll get what i mean (or check out @maireyart 's pretty arts).

Obito is self-conscious because of his scars. He always covers his right arm and hand, his empty eye socket. He doesn't think he's an attractive guy. He doesn't believe it when people compliment his body, and oftentimes it prevents him from seeking intimacy. And it takes him some time to overcome. (this one breaks my heart so i'm not gonna go into detail, BUT it's so nice to daydream his special other (Kakashi in my case) doing everything to help Obito be more comfortable with his body, not being covered by layers of clothes and gloves) .

I hope you enjoy these headcanons, lovely anon! Sorry it took me so long to answer <3

[sisterofficerlucychen]

in this essay i will explore why halo by beyonce fits chenford perfectly because i’ve lost my damn mind, yet again. i mean what else is new, really? anyhow, buckle in and enjoy the ride! ♡

Remember those walls I built? Well, baby, they're tumbling down And they didn't even put up a fight They didn't even make a sound

who had walls when we first met him? who was utterly broken and just trying to survive? tim. while lucy didn’t necessarily come into tim’s life trying to break his walls down, she definitely succeeded in doing so. she helped bring back the light inside of him and reassured him that he was safe through her action and words. every single moment they’ve had since the beginning has progressed in tumbling down the walls tim built because of all the trauma he’s endured. while it was something that he probably didn’t realize at first, once he did, there was no going back. because he’s the thing, who has tim always listened to? lucy — stopping him in front of isabel’s apartment, making him reflect back onto the experience with the gardeners, fixing things with genny, even encouraging him to listen to ashley. she’s always been his voice of reason and the one person he’ll listen to even if he’s moping or arguing about it. 

but here’s the thing, this also fits lucy. as self-aware and as much of an open book as she is, lucy has walls. they’ve just been so much more well hidden than tim’s. she’s always had commitment issues. jackson points it out once when he tells her he knew about her and nolan; tim points it out twice, once after she’s dealing with the break up with emmett then again when chris ambushes her about moving in. relationships aren’t her strong suit and my take on it at least is that it stems from her relationship with her parents. for two psychologists and a psych major, the chens are their own little bubble of complicated but it’s so easy to see how this has affected lucy and caused her to put up her own walls. tim being the exception to this rule. he may have decided she was worth his time to train but she definitely decided that he was worth her time to understand. which i think kind of comes into play with tim being the only person to break down those walls. 

“if we do this and it doesn’t work, i’ll have ruined the most important relationship of my life.” it wasn’t until this moment that both walls completely fell. they both jumped into relationships with other people and stayed in them because it was safe, because the stakes were to high for either of them to even think that being with each other was a possibility until lucy said that. it placed them both on the same page. 

It's like I've been awakened Every rule I had you breakin' It's the risk that I'm takin' I ain't never gonna shut you out

which brings us to this part. tim’s reaction when lucy confessed this. TIM’S REACTION WHEN LUCY CONFESSED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s like he saw his life flash before his eyes in the sense that a. it confirmed she had feelings for him too and it wasn’t one sided and b. that for once in his life, he was someone’s top priority because even though nothing romantically had happened until this point, lucy saying this was so crucial because everybody else had put him second: isabel (to drugs), rachel (to a dream job), and ashley (to not wanting to be afraid of the what if’s). anyway, i guess what i’m trying to say is tim’s reaction was that first lyric. though him leaving lucy’s apartment in 4x22 also gives the same vibes. BUT THE IMPORTANT THING HERE IS HOW THIS VERSE IS ESSENTIALLY 5X08. because here’s the thing, this is: “some things matter more”. tim does not break the rules. ever. except this was perhaps the biggest risk he’s ever taken and the man didn’t even blink. the “unless it is” when he tells her that thEY ARE WORTH THE RISK. THEY ARE WORTH THE EFFORT. for someone who pushed everyone away at his lowest point, who tried time and time again to push lucy away, this was the moment where he welcomed her with open arms and embraced their future together knowing it was the beginning of something that mattered more. 

Everywhere I'm lookin' now I'm surrounded by your embrace Baby, I can see your halo You know you're my saving grace

they’ve saved each other, time and time again. there are so many moments in the literal and figurative where they have saved the other: lucy pulling tim out of the line of fire when he was shot on her second day; tim giving her the ‘bradford special’ which probably saved her life when she was shot and it caught the bullet; the entirety of day of death; lucy believing in tim enough that she recorded an entire audiobook for him; lucy helping him with the ordeal with his father; tim giving her ring back and the survivor speech when she was still struggling. they’ve always had each other’s back, no matter where they fall from they know the other person will catch them. 

not only this but they are 100% the other’s safe space. one thing that always has me on the floor sobbing is any time lucy feels like she’s stuck, it’s tim she literally turns to. i keep thinking back specifically when they were in their ‘pining/angst era’ and despite things being awkward between them, lucy turned to tim immediately when she felt cornered. remember when bailey was in the tank asking for nolan? lucy got stuck, she didn’t know what to say or how to lie and she desperately turned to tim to save her. same thing when grey asked if there was a reason they couldn’t ride together. she awkwardly tried to come up with an answer and ended up turning to tim for him to answer the question. 

Hit me like a ray of sun Burning through my darkest night You're the only one that I want Think I'm addicted to your light

lucy is absolute sunshine. she is a literal ray of light that sees the best in people, she’s compassionate and empathetic, she doesn’t give up on others too easily. this is important because of when she came into tim’s life. she saw the worst version of him and decided that he was someone who was worth the effort in trying to get to know and understand. the more she learned about him, the more compassion she showed him. 

every obstacle tim has ever faced since they’ve met, she’s been by his side. obviously, the range of her involvement depends on the season and where the progression of their relationship is but nonetheless, she’s been there for him. the beautiful thing here is that it works both ways. 

he’s also always been there for her. from when he stayed with her in the hospital after she was rescued to when they learned rosalind escaped and his immediate reaction was to comfort her as he squeezed her hand before taking them somewhere private to check on how she was doing. tim may be a ‘grump’ but it doesn’t mean his light doesn’t burn just as bright because he is also sunshine in his own way. which is something lucy knows. the way she’s been sticking up for him since season 1. she’s said it too, comparing kojo to tim, when abigail commented that he was all bark with no bite, coaching little league. tim is just as much sunshine as lucy is in parallel ways. 

they are who the other needs in the toughest, darkest times because they know how to support each other. they are each other’s light and each others rock. 

I swore I'd never fall again But this don't even feel like fallin' Gravity can't begin To pull me back to the ground again

who tim dated after isabel is interesting because of how it can be linked to lucy. his relationship with rachel was a direct correlation to lucy getting involved. they made a bet with each other and she won short sleeves, he momentarily won the girl. his relationship with ashley is a little more complex to tie to lucy but i’d argue you still can because the green dress callback basically confirmed that there was clearly something there when they saw each other at wopez’s wedding at the end of s3. by the time tim met ashley, tim and lucy had already fallen for each other and both were denying or hiding their feelings. did he date ashley because he couldn’t be with lucy? i don’t know. he seemed to genuinely like her at first but i do think he stayed with her because of lucy. that double date should have been the biggest red flag for all of them, especially chris and ashley of not getting invovled with them. yet nonetheless, they both continued to explore their respective relationships. 

except neither relationship was clearly meant to last. they both stayed in them because it was safe and it was perhaps easier to be with someone they did care about but not were in love with than to be alone and without the person they actually wanted to be with. 

but going back to that first line of the verse. i don’t think tim considered falling in love again with someone who truly loved him back until lucy. rachel was fleeting, the job in new york was more important than her relationship with tim; ashley didn’t want the same things he did and would tim have settled? maybe, who knows. but lucy. she’s worth the effort, she’s worth the fight, she’s someone who wants what he does. this is the part that at least gets me because i do think tim had resigned to not having the life he wanted and here’s this absolute ray of sunshine who has basically confirmed to him that she wants that same life too and that he is worth the effort, that he matters more. 

additionally, i think this also ties back to the slow burn. the way they fell for one another happened in a way where you can’t really point out where they fell but rather when they knew. every little moment, every scene captured something new with them. it was unexpected and while it was scary, once they realized where they stood, they were both in it without a doubt. i know we’ve yet to see them test the “you deserve to be with someone who’s worth the effort” but even in what we’ve seen like when they were struggling about how working in the same chain of command affected them, breaking up was never an option. they were going to work through it one way or another

in conclusion because oh my god i wrote a novel??? but also if you’re still reading this i love you so, so, so much?? i feel like i should buy you coffee or something for reading my late night ramblings. ANYWAY, i think this song just perfectly embodies how they decided to take the risk and is essentially the cumulation of their slow burn. it feels very much like the “some things matter more” because despite the obstacles that they’ve faced, they’ve made it to each other. they are the other’s light, they are the other’s person, they are the other’s love of their life. 

fin.

[qtubbo]

tbh in regards to the phil and sunny thing, i think it’s just phil being a british man who is over the age of 30. that’s how they all interact with close friends’ kids and nieces and nephews n stuff. plus, he’s more up north so that kind of banter is wayyy more normal and casual. speaking from experience here, but i’m way more likely to relax around a parent’s friend that makes jokes that are sometimes at my expense than someone who is just super polite. makes them feel too distant.

sunny probs isn’t british and doesn’t feel the same tho. phil isn’t being malicious and i think he just finds sunny chaotic and fun. i think he’s also just quick to treat the new eggs how he treats the other eggs, maybe forgetting that he doesn’t really know them well enough to make jokes and doesn’t think they’ll take them srsly, esp since sunny seems to confident and headstrong.

obv, if phil gets told he crossed a line, he’ll apologise 🤷 however, it’s up to tubbo or sunny to tell him he crossed a line and for them to set boundaries. phil can’t read minds sadly. we just need some good qommunication <3 (but i like conflict too so i hope it maybe isn’t solved too soon pff)

soz for the long wall of text! just wanted to give my thoughts since i’m also from north britain and qphil is one of my povs!

(sorry if I misread anything dyslexia does not like large walls of text)

I’ve been watching phil since 2020, and he was the person to get me into twitch (funfact), generally speaking I mainly watch British streamers even though they are at a bad time for me, I do understand how Phil jokes. That’s why I didn’t take Phil’s comments about Sunny stealing very seriously, I think it’s a fine line to balance sometimes he’ll say things he’s always been comfortable joking about and I do think some people are taking that too far. Phil’s humor is sarcastic, and to outright ignore that is an inappropriate reading of his character.

My issue stems from how it treats Sunny and Tubbo’s parenting in particular with more negative comments, while I think a lot of the comments to Tubbo can be ignored (i.e questioning why he’s able to have an egg, that came off as much more lighthearted). It just not within his previous characterization the level of mocking he’s done towards Tubbo about Sunny, that were I feel its a more of a built up resentment. His attitude to Sunny in particular is more noticeably negative than how he treated any egg when they were new, and more relevant Em. He has mocked Sunny’s choices, how she talks, and has spoken negatively about them without them being there. Phil is mean to Sunny, genuinely, but he is still good with the other eggs.

I do think you’re right about him being more comfortable joking with Sunny due to her personality but at the same time she really wasn’t acting overly confident with him more childish. Also I do assume he’ll apologize if he gets told off for his attitude, but at the same time I doubt that will happen because Tubbo just doesn’t do that stuff. This is something that will hopefully fixed through time, and once he learns to completely separate them from Tallulah, which considering Tallulah’s issue with Sunny right now will take awhile to fix.

Thank you for your thoughts though, It’s nice to know how other people are taking his behavior.

[queenimmadolla]

Babes, i need to know what’s up with heather holloway lmao! Why are you do obsessed with her? Its def not a bad thing, just curious :)

I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE, here’s why i love Heather :)

One major thing is the injustice and lack of acknowledgment she gets from the fandom. ST3 came out in 2019 when fake feminism was on the edge of retirement, not kept quite as in check as it has been since 2020 *shoutout to drew afualo and the mass of people who decided it was finally time to defend women and female characters*—i know if she had been introduced in st4 she would have gotten the love and defense she deserved like Chrissy has—stemming in this case from the hate Heather and her actress received from billy fans back then because they interpreted her as a possible love interest for him and hated her into pretty much non-existence. Some people had the audacity—and still do—to approach her actress and tell her she looks plain and not very pretty. She’s got a decent amount of screen time, a pretty badass role as an unwilling side villain and I cannot figure out for the life of me why she’s forgotten about. Especially since she was a pretty big part of the plot for ST3. The fandom treated her very much so like the older women at the community pool did.

And it just breaks my heart that two younger girls Heather didn’t know were the only ones in the entire town that noticed she was missing and cared enough to notice something wasn’t right with her (not even her parents noticed she was different, though you can see with their comfortable family portrait that while they might not have known her very well, they still genuinely loved her and she loved them) and when she didn’t show up to work, none of her coworkers gave a fuck about her. So, that tells me she wasn’t really popular.

It wasn’t until after st4 came out and i rewatched the entire series, that i developed my obsession with her because i noticed my absolute favorite thing about her: she’s not anything special, she’s just a teenage girl who wasn’t popular, didn’t grab the attention of her hot co-worker, wasn’t his love interest, sat down with her mom and dad for dinners and was criticized by older women for simply existing. She was a normal teenage girl, just like i was. And it’s kind of self-deprecating to admit it, but there have been plenty of times where i thought if i would have gone missing, no one would notice and it made me really sad to notice that was the case with her.

I also love the symbolism with her being a lifeguard and how she went to Billy’s aide when she thought he was in trouble, even if it got her killed in the end. Don’t even get me started on the fact that her occupation is one that makes people need her (always have to have a lifeguard on duty), makes me think she might have gone for the job because of that. She’s not popular, doesn’t have a whole lot of friends but now she’s needed somewhere, she’s got a place. And the experience i got with Eddie was very similar to the one i got with Heather, I honestly thought she would survive. El and Max were trying to save her and everyone, so surely if the main characters were trying to help her, she’d prevail, right? No. She died a horrible, gruesome death.

And other than a quick name drop in st4, she was forgotten about. There was no Nancy like character to seek revenge on her behalf, no Joy Byers character to mourn her loss, no Murray character in her life to miss her as a friend. She’s just gone.

Naturally, what with me favoring the underdogs, I feel the need to protect and defend her, and maybe give her some justice. Which is why the Reader in Cruel Summer is based ENTIRELY on my interpretation of Heather, I actually debated on just writing a Heather/Eddie fic, but I was pretty sure it’d go largely ignored because it’d be about Heather, and i was afraid more people would hate her if I paired her with Eddie, so I went the Reader route. But all those character traits about Reader in it, Reader’s portrayal, everything, is how I imagine Heather Holloway. She deserved so much freaking better. If you try to scroll through her own damn name tag, you’ll find she’s still somehow barely in it. VERY FEW, and i mean FEW edits, pictures, anything about HER. IN HER OWN TAG! It’s been almost five years and you can still barely find a trace of her. Even KEITH gets more recognition. Fucking Keith who doesn’t have a last name and has less screen time in all of stranger things than she had in one season of it.

YEAH. WHEW, that’s a lot. That is a lot of information. But thank you for letting me rant about her, again lmao. Anyways, everyone pay more attention to Heather.