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trippinsorrows · 3 days

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with me + part fifteen

authors note: i hope everyone has recovered from the last chapter! just remember, there's, typically, light at the end of the tunnel!

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: violence, angst, language, suggestive themes

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

faceclaims

words: 7k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @southerngirl41 @wanderingreigns

Alexis is going to jail.

She’s accepted as such and doesn't really care about that as much as she's curious about what the charges will be. Aggravated assault. Attempted murder. Actual murder. It’s all up in the air, each a very much real possibility.

Truth be told, she’s wanted to put the paws on Mariah for years. And not even because Mariah has done anything outright, not close to this level anyways. It was just something about her that screamed fake and inauthentic. However, she recognized what friendship and loyalty meant to you, and while you’d mentioned a few arguments over the years, nothing was major enough for her to act on her violent urges.

Now though?

Now, she’s ready to rain fire.

She doesn’t give a flying fuck about traffic laws, well exceeding every speed limit she zooms through in order to make it to Mariah’s house. It’s an address that wasn’t too hard to find. Google is such a wonderful thing. She would have asked you for that information, but she also wants you as separate from what she’s about to do as possible. Especially with DCFS in the midst of an active investigation.

Just thinking about it pisses her off even more. It’s one thing to call DCFS on someone who’s arguably one of the best parents on this fucking earth, but it’s another to accuse said parents of the things Mariah accused you.

It’s unforgivable.

It’s also why Alexis won’t feel somewhat content until she spills Mariah’s blood. Pulling up into the driveway behind the parked Camry, Alexis shuts off the car, reaches for the bat in the passenger seat and slams the door behind her as she marches up the three steps to the front door. Her fists immediately start banging on the door. “Open the door, hoe!” More banging. “I know you in there! Come outside so I can crack ya’ fucking head open!”

Alexis isn’t stupid. She knows no one with common sense would open the door to anyone yelling such things. Cue: the bat.

Moving across the porch, Alexis doesn’t hesitate to give a solid swing to the window, effectively cracking it. The second blow is the one, however, that shatters it. She kicks through the remnants and proceeds to climb in.

With a possible element of surprise, Alexis opts to remain quiet, looking around the living room. She’s tempted to smash the TV but decides against it, as she’d much rather save her strength for blows against Mariah’s body.

Moving throughout the house, she’s lucky enough for the first door she kicks open to reveal her victim.

But Mariah isn’t alone.

In a pleasant surprise. Alexis just so happens to walk in on Mariah receiving backshots from a man who quickly stumbles and looks back over his shoulder at her entrance. Alexis immediately recognizes him.

Amir.

“Now ain’t this about a bitch!” Alexis' smile is wild and crazed as she watches Amir stumble to cover himself, Mariah’s eyes also wide with horror and shock as she holds the sheet to her chest. “A two for one special. My lucky fucking day.”

“What the hell?” Amir has managed to pull his boxers on and is standing near the bed, close to Mariah in an almost protective manner. Like that’ll keep her safe from Alexis' wrath. “Alexis? What the fuck are you doing?”

“I would ask ya’ll niggas the same thing, but ain’t no sense in stating the obvious.” She motions between the two of them with her steel bat. “How long?”

Mariah screams, the fear in her voice and eyes music to Alexis soul. “Get out of my house!”

“Oh, Imma leave, but not until you’re unconscious.” She looks toward Amir. “And if you try to get in my way, Imma knock your ass out too.” Alexis' hands are rated E for everyone. She fights females and males with equal smoke. “Now, I’m not gon’ ask again, how long have ya’ll been fucking behind Y/N’s back?”

Truth be told, Alexis wouldn’t trust a single word out of either of their mouths, but she’s curious. The answer regardless will aid in the intensity of her beating.

Amir is the first to ‘answer’. “I don’t owe Y/N shit. She’s not my girl.” As if he has a right to be upset, he continues, anger painting his face. “I tried, but she chose to be with that nigga.”

“And will every single mother fucking time because unlike you, he’s actually worth something and deserves her. Not like you two snakes.” It’s the fact that Amir thinks that he’s been done wrong in some way that blows her mind. He might be as delusional as the bitch he was just fucking. “I’m tired of talking. Get the fuck out my way, so I can knock this hoe’s head off.”

It’s when Alexis takes a step toward the bed that Amir extends his arm out, “wait, before you do this—”

“Do you even know what she did?” Alexis demands, grip on the bat tightening as she remembers holding you as you cried into her over having your child ripped away from you. The fear in Callie’s eyes. It enrages her all over again. “Ask the bitch! Go on, ask her!”

Amir is still understandably cautious and pissed at this intrusion, but his gaze still falls on Mariah. “What is she talking about?”

Mariah pauses and shakes her head, stuttering. “I–I don’t know. She’s–she’s crazy.”

“She’s a liar!” Alexis shouts, explaining to Amir. “She called DCFS on Y/N and made up all kind of lies!” She juggs the bat in the direction of that slime. “They took Callie away from Y/N because of her!”

It seems like there’s a sudden shift that Alexis recognizes as the tide gradually turning. She still thinks Amir is a piece of shit, but it does count for a tiny something that he looks absolutely disgusted by this revelation. His eyes narrow at Mariah. “You did what?” Mariah’s face gives away her guilt as he demands, “what the hell is wrong with you? Why would you do that!”

Clearly adept at deviating, Mariah attempts to redirect the focus. “You really gon’ believe this bitch over me!”

Alexis laughs, throwing her head back. She’s really going to enjoy breaking this bitch jaw.

Amir seems heated now. Again, not that Alexis really cares. He’s not much better than this hoe in her book. “You got her child taken away from her, Mariah! What part of that do you not understand is fucked up! You’ve gone too fucking far!”

“If Callie got taken away, then she should have been doing a better job making sure her kid was straight instead of chasing a married around like a desperate who—”

Alexis lunges, literally lunges, across the room before Mariah can even finish her sentence. There’s a sickening crack that enters the air when her fist collides with Mariah’s nose. Mariah’s cry is sounded out by Alexis snatching her by her hair and banging her head into the headboard. “Say it, bitch! Say it so I can knock ya fucking teeth out your mouth.”

“Get off me!” Mariah screams, but it’s no use, Alexis blows are powerful and focused, knuckles burning from the impact with bone, not that it makes a difference to her. She’s only seeing and hearing red.

“I been wanted to stomp your hoe ass!” And Alexis does just that, dragging and tossing Mariah onto the floor and stomping her feet into Mariah’s side.

Mariah is crying like a little bitch, screaming, “help me!”

But Amir does nothing, just stands there watching as Alexis rains blow on top of blow, kick on top of kick to the broad he was just balls deep in minutes ago. It speaks volumes of his character, not that that was much to behold anyway.

However, it’s when she cries out again, “we got a fucking son together, Amir!”

This actually takes Alexis by surprise as she realizes what Mariah just said. She knows the bitch has a son, but she also knows this woman is married. Though estranged, still married. Is…..is Amir the biological father of her son? Has she really been messing with Amir long enough for him to possibly father her baby?

Is that why she’s estranged from her husband?

That’s a whole other layer that adds to the betrayal. Alexis starts mixing on Mariah again, ignoring the splatter of blood on her fists and the possibility that her child might be just a room or two away.

At least she still has her kid.

“That’s enough.” Amir’s voice finally sounds from behind her, but Alexis is in the zone. She’s not letting up off this hoe. “Alexis, that’s enough!” And then he makes the cardinal mistake of trying to interfere, reaching to pull her off Mariah. Instantly, Alexis reaches behind and lands her fist against his face.

“Fuck!” He calls out. Alexis grabs the bat, swinging it across his knee. Amir cries out and falls on his back, cradling his knee. “You crazy bitch!”

“That’s right, I’m the crazy bitch that’s gon come back and fuck both ya’ll asses up again if you ever in your life try Y/N!” Alexis realizes Mariah is on the verge of losing consciousness, so she ensures she grabs her by her raggedy tracks. “You stay the hell away from her, you hear me? You even so much as utter her name, utter Callie’s name, and I’mma put you six feet under!” A final stomp to Mariah’s jaw is the last thing she sees before being knocked unconscious.

Breathing heavy, Alexis looks around, pleased with her carnage only to see Amir starting to stand up, knee obviously fucked up. “I didn’t—I didn’t know.”

Alexis marches over to him and punches him square in his nose, satisfied with the crunch sound that follows. He curses loudly, hands over his nose that’s started to spurt out blood.

“Bitch ass nigga,” she mutters, taking one final survey of the room and walking out, pleased with the results. She suddenly feels so much better, hungry but deeply satisfied. Curious, she asks a groaning Amir.

“Ya’ll got a McDonald’s in this town?”

—---------

The knock on the door is probably the first thing to make you feel anything in hours. You’ve just laid on the bed all day, staring at the empty wall across the room. The apartment is quiet. It’s never quiet.

Not since you first brought Callie home from the hospital. You miss her giggles, her loud singing, the patterning of her feet as she runs into your room, jumping on the bed, rambling about the most random of things.

You wished that her being with your mom and not some random family would provide more comfort than it does, but as soon as you try to find some relief in that, your mind goes towards why she’s with your mom and the fact that you are legally barred from speaking to and interacting with the child you birthed and have raised since she first entered this world.

That’s when the tears come. You’re not sure there’s many left to be honest.

So, a knock on the door is the closest thing you have to hope, hope that someway, somehow, someone with enough pull was able to make all of this go away, make this nightmare of a reality a thing of fiction.

Running to the front door, that hope is both dashed yet sustained when you rip it open.

Turns out you’re wrong, there are definitely more tears left.

“Joe…”

You’re not sure who makes the move first, probably him, because the moment his eyes land on you, his expression softens into something sympathetic.

He’s holding the back of your head as you cry into his chest, comforting you. And then it hits you. You pull away, holding onto his shirt, “did you see her? H-how is she?”

You made sure to emphasize that Joe needed to check in on Callie before coming to see you, not that it was something he needed to be told. You’re certain his first and foremost priority was checking in on Callie.

He wipes at your eyes. “She’s okay.” It’s a safe answer, one that’s probably both partially and impartially true. How okay can she be in a situation like this? His response is more for your comfort than anything, you’re sure. “I got her down for bed before I left.” His eyes give you a one over. “When’s the last time you ate something?”

You’re certain you must look a mess. You also don’t care about that. You don’t really care about much to be honest.

Still, it’s a valid question that takes you a second to contemplate. “I–I don’t know.” And before he can say something further, you inform, “I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat something.”

“No, I–what I need is to start getting this place together.” Pulling away from him, sniffling and wiping at your eyes, you motion around your apartment. “They’re doing the home inspection tomorrow.”

In between tears and depression, you’d received formal notice regarding the home visit where they’d evaluate the environment to ensure its appropriateness for a child as well as your emergency court date.

Joe’s gaze is on you and lazily scans the room that’s more or less spotless. “It looks fine, Y/N.”

“Fine isn’t good enough, Joe,” your voice is firmer, a hint of irritation. “It has to be perfect so they can—” Without even realizing what’s happening, another unexpected set of tears arrives, your voice cracking. “—so they can give my baby back to me.”

He guides you back into his chest, comforting you as the next set of waterworks overcomes you. You’ve always hated crying, always found it irritating because it was hard to control, even harder to stop. This is all of those things.

“I can’t believe she would—would do this to me.” That’s the part you still can’t wrap around. How could you not see what kind of person Mariah was? You’ve always thought you were a good judge of character. This was Callie’s legal godmother for fucks sake. “Do you know what she said about me? What she said I was going to do—” Your mouth watering and stomach twisting alerts you to what’s about to come, and you dash away from him to the bathroom where you fall to your knees, vomiting into the toilet.

Joe is behind you not even minutes later, hand on the small of your back as you cry over that same toilet. There’s a level of appreciation for him being here with you in this moment, but it still doesn’t wholly ease that dull ache in your chest.

Getting cleaned up, Joe doesn’t take no for an answer when he says that he’s going to make you something to eat and you’re going to eat. Deep down, you know he’s right. Not only are you teetering on sleep deprivation, but the lack of food in your system is eventually going to take a toll. And you need to be at your absolute best the next few days.

However, even with his delicious cooking and emotional support, it’s not enough to keep your emotions at bay because you end up right back at that toilet, depositing everything you just tried to consume.

You just feel so off, so incomplete, because you are.

Because you don’t know you’re supposed to proceed without your child. How you’re supposed to proceed and act like your world hasn’t been turned upside down, like you’re not in a position where you have to prove that you’re a fit parent.

Something you could have never imagined you’d be having to prove. This whole situation, nightmare, has pushed you so much farther in the direction of wanting to move.

Mariah’s play has stolen your sense of security in this town, the place you’ve always called home. It feels like you’ll never be able to feel comfortable again so long as she’s also a resident. Blocking her on all platforms isn’t enough. You don’t want her to have any access to you or Callie whatsoever.

And that can only be done with moving.

A small part of you considers talking with Joe about you and Callie staying at his place in Florida for the time being until you find a house. And you hate that, the idea of uprooting your and Callie’s life so suddenly. Not even being able to stay until the end of the school year, not being able to give your students the proper time to transition and adjust to your departure.

But you have to think about your family, your child, and what’s best for her.

It's starting to become more and more clear that the best thing you can do at this point is leave.

If not the only thing. ________

“She finally sleep?”

After treating herself to McDonalds, Alexis casually reached out to her legal team to let them know she could be facing a couple of charges and to be ready to bail her out once the warrant was issued. They were already fast ahead in working towards a plan to get said charges dismissed, so she's honestly not concerned at all.

And even if they aren’t dismissed, she doesn't mind.

She’d do it all over again if she had to.

So, after getting cleaned up and settling her affairs, she headed back over to the apartment to check on you. Alexis wasn’t surprised to find you still heavily upset, but the physical sickness was hard to watch. She’s so grateful that you listened to her and called Joe. She can’t imagine you going through this without his support.

“I got her to agree to take Benadryl.” Joe’s eyes are focused on the island as he sits down at the barstool and leans back. Alexis hasn’t been around Joe a ton, but that’s not needed to tell he’s a myriad of emotions right now, primarily anger. He adds, clearly concerned, “she can’t keep anything down.”

“She’s a wreck,” Alexis says as kindly as she can, because it’s the ugly truth. She’s always known you to be so calm and composed. This is anything but. Yes, there were a couple moments where you lost your temper. But post Callie? You’ve been the textbook definition of what it looks like to be a picture of calmness in a storm.

Now….now you’re just a disaster.

Not that a single soul could blame you.

“How is Callie? Like, really?” Alexis isn’t sure if asking him this right now is the right move, but she’s genuinely curious. She’d take a bet that he played it down for the sake of your current mental state.

“Confused. Sad as hell. Doesn’t know why the fuck she’s just been ripped from her mother for no reason.” His anger is palpable and completely understandable.

Alexis listens, working to control her own anger. Mariah’s beating wasn’t good enough. “It’s fucked up. That’s for sure.”

His jaw is clenched as she states, boldly, “I’ve gotta get them out of this damn town.”

Alexis looks at him, partially not following his statement. “Aren’t they already moving to live with you?

“Yes, at the end of the summer, but that’s not soon enough.” She hears what he’s saying, but she isn’t quite sure about the realistic aspect of what he clearly wants at this point. “I need them out of here now.”

Alexis takes a second before responding, not wanting to further upset him. Typically, she doesn’t give two shits about how her words are perceived, but this is an entirely different situation. “You’re not wrong, Joe, but Y/N can’t just up and leave—”

“We don’t have much of a fucking choice, Alexis.” His tone, if not for the current circumstances, would be completely unacceptable. He’s talking to her like she’s a child, but Alexis knows emotions are high, so she sets aside her pride. “I don’t want that bitch anywhere near them.”

Careful with her words, she counters calmly, “you know there’s a chance Y/N's not going to like that.”

Alexis knows you, and knows that you like order. You’d want to properly close out the year, have time to say goodbye. Then again, after something like this, she’s not actually 100% sure where you’d stand on moving sooner than initially planned.

Joe then brings up a valid point. “It’s not about what she likes and doesn’t like. It’s about Calista and what’s best for her.” He’s not wrong, Alexis won’t deny him that. “Mariah is fucking psychotic, and I’m not taking any more chances with her pulling anymore shit like this. I’ve already contacted my lawyers to see what options we have there.”

Joe lawyering up makes all the sense in the world. It’s probably the smartest decision for him and Y/N, which is why she’s so grateful she stopped you from catching an unnecessary charge. “I can beat her ass again once she gets released from the hospital. It was quite therapeutic actually.” Alexis is slightly pleased to hear Joe chuckle at her words, even if she’s being completely honest. “I’ll tell you this, but don’t tell Y/N. She’s got enough she’s dealing with.”

Joe is quick to assert. “I don’t like keeping things from her.”

Ignoring his counter, Alexis supplies, “Mariah was fucking Amir when I got there. Like, I literally caught them in bed.”

As expected, Joe looks taken back, “what?”

She nods and adds, “but that’s not it. When the stupid bitch was begging for him to help her, she said they have a son together.” Lowering her voice in case you somehow fought the powers of Benadryl, she concludes, “I think Amir is the biological father of her kid,”

“Son of a bitch,” he mutters. Joe is suddenly wishing he acted upon impulse instead of logic and beat the shit out of Amir that night he had the chance. That bastard really was a scumbag. He’s also partially wishing he’d tagged along with Mariah. Joe would never put his hands on a woman, but Amir? He’d be laid out in the hospital just like Mariah is. “Just how long have they been messing around?”

“Long enough for her to get knocked up by him.” She shakes her head, trying to settle the growing anger. “God, I hate her ass. Him too, but definitely her. How do you just fuck your best friend’s ex like that? When you know she’s fucking him too? Fuckin nasty ass hoe.”

He won’t disagree, sharing, “you probably already know this, but Mariah used to mess with Randy Orton, and he'd said she ended up being clingy and crazy when he broke it off.”

“Really?” Alexis remembers you mentioning to her that Mariah was sleeping with a wrestler around the same time you first got with Joe but nothing about how it ended. “That lines up.”

“I never really paid much attention to it, because she wasn’t relevant to me, and Orton was an ass back in the day, so I took it with a grain of salt.” A heavy frown appears on his handsome face. “Clearly, that was a mistake.”

Realizing what’s happening, she shakes her head. “Oh my god. Not you too.” She jumps into her therapist mode, nearly repeating exactly what she’d said to you this morning. “This is no one’s fault except for Mariah. Not yours. Not Y/N’s, just that raggedy hoe.”

Joe tries his best to heed to Alexis’s advice. “You’ve never liked her, right?” Alexis nods aggressively. “Why?”

“I always felt like she was jealous of Y/N. Like….she benefited way more from her friendship with Y/N than Y/N did. When we were in college, Y/N was popular and well liked, and I get the sense that that’s always been the case. Mariah clearly benefited from that, so the jealousy wasn’t as bad, not enough for Y/N to notice it anyway.” Alexis starts to speculate, though she feels it’s more fact than hypothesis. “But then you come back in the picture, and the tide turns. Y/N gets the guy, the kid, the happy family. And then on top of all that, homegirl finally gets exposed, so Y/N, rightfully, cuts her off. But psycho-riah wasn’t having that.”

Laying it all out like that makes sense to both Joe and Alexis. It’s obvious Mariah is disturbed, because only a person not right in the head would do what she’s done. All of the things she’s done. But maybe it never got this bad because she and Y/N were always around the same level, both living in this small ass town, just raising their kids.

Then he came in the picture, and she got jealous.

It makes sense.

It also pisses him the fuck off.

“This probably isn’t the right time to ask this, but I’m gonna do it anyway, because you never know when my warrant is gonna become active.” There’s such a casualness and nonchalant manner regarding how Alexis refers to her pending arrest, like it’s not that big a deal. And for her, it really isn’t. She knows her lawyers will most likely have her out on bond and charges dropped or dismissed by the end of the week. Hence her prying. “But just when in the hell do you plan to propose to Y/N?”

It’s definitely a 180 in topics that Joe wasn’t expecting, especially when she continues.

“I know it’s gotta be coming soon, because it’s obvious you love the mess out of her and want to be with her forever, but when, sir? Don’t be having my girl out here as a glorified girlfriend for too long, cause I don’t care how big you are, you can catch that Mariah Edition beating right along with her.” Joe smiles, shaking his head. It’s a much needed break from all the heaviness of the day. “And you best not get her knocked up again before it happens.” She considers her words and retracts. “Then again, ya’ll both freaky as hell and fuck like rabbits, so maybe that one is a stretch.”

With a casual shrug, Joe goes for his response. “Who says I don’t al—”

“Wait. Don’t say anything.” She interrupts, hands up as if remembering something. “I suck at keeping secrets, and I’m sure you’re gonna go all out for the proposal, so don’t tell me shit.” She nods, as if trying to convince herself that this is the safest and best route. “Just make sure I get an invite to the wedding. Then again, I’ll just show up anyway regardless.”

He has zero doubt she won’t.

But while Alexis' random tangent brings about brief relief, his mind easily switches back to the major issue at hand.

“You know I’m right, Lex.” He looks at her, again reiterating, “they can’t stay here.” It’s in expressing her theory about Mariah aloud that helps Alexis realize Joe’s even more valid in his stance than she thought. “I can’t have this happen again. Y/N and Callie can’t have this happen again especially. They’re both a mess.” He looks down, jaw clenching. “I can’t see them go through this again.”

There’s no desire or basis to argue. Alexis can’t imagine how difficult this must be for him as well. To see all this happening, to see the two people he loves the most be in pain and not be able to do anything about it.

It’s gotta be torture.

She finally settles on a simple, basic answer. “You’re right.”

Joe is quiet for a few moments, expression indicating he’s searching and trying to navigate something. Alexis watches as he suddenly pulls out his phone, typing hurriedly. She figures he's sending a text to someone when he finally says, “I need you to do something for me.”

There’s not a second of hesitation. “Consider it done.”

“Good.” He doesn’t waste any time, recognizing every moment that passes is precious. “How quickly can you get a flight out to Florida?”

________

Before agreeing to take the tiny pink pill of sleep damnation, you made Joe promise to wake you up at 7am sharp. The home inspection was scheduled for 3pm, but you have something you need to do before then.

And Joe is true to his word, stirring you awake not a minute past 7.

Despite his protest and disagreement, you skip breakfast. It’s going on two days since you’ve actually had and retained a meal, but you can’t bring yourself to do so, your abs already sore from all the contractions that come with vomiting.

So, you settle on coffee and get to cleaning. Joe helps you, though there’s not much to be done, just little things that the average person wouldn’t pay much attention to. But, you’re not taking any risks. Your place needs to be as spotless as humanly possible.

And you need to look as good as you can, so you spend much more time than necessary in the shower, scrubbing your body clean, shaving every piece of hair that doesn’t need to be there. All very much over the top, but you don’t care. You need to feel prepared.

You even take on the daunting task of laying your mass of curls into a slick top bun. In your opinion, it’s always made you look ten times more professional. Even if it does take ten times as long to accomplish because of all your hair.

Still, worth it. Everything is worth it if it means having your daughter back in your custody.

It’s why you dig through your closet for the nicest set of business professional attire that you own, some nice dress pants and a white blouse that beautifully compliments your complexion.

The top has always been a little snug around your chest, which is expected, even if feeling a little tighter than usual.

What you don’t expect or need is to slide on said pants only to find out you can’t get them to snap. Even the jump and wiggle to better adjust it over your ass and thighs isn’t enough to secure the button.

You stand there for a moment, only briefly stumped. You’re realizing that one of your earlier assumptions before this whole mess was correct.

You’ve put on weight.

It was something you first started to notice when you looked again at the post Alexis made of you on your Instagram. You could see it a little in your face, but mostly your ass and thighs. Thankfully, you’ve always typically carried your weight in all the right places. And it isn’t anything too crazy, maybe something only you notice because you know your body better than anyone.

But, it’s enough to where your go-to pants no longer fit.

It’s not too concerning, especially with everything else you have going on. You’ve always yo-yo’d a bit with your weight and interestingly enough, the same happened in the months after your first meeting with Joe all those years ago.

“Happy weight,” you’re sure Alexis would call it.

Sliding them off, you settle on another pair, close to your favorites and a size bigger. They snap closed, and that little thing makes you feel instantly relieved.

It’s another thirty minutes before you finally exit the bedroom, face beat in neutral yet professional makeup. Joe moves from where he was texting on the sofa and approaches you.

Concern is etched in the crinkles around his eyes. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

“No. I—I got this. Go—go spend the day with Callie.” Because I’d do anything to be able to do just that. “You probably shouldn’t even be here around me.”

It’s partially true. Joe isn’t even on Callie’s birth certificate, so as far as the law is concerned, you’re the only parent under investigation. Still, the irrational fear is strong that they’ll find some reason to add him to the investigation if they find out he’s been interacting with both you and Callie.

You can’t even think about what hell it would be if Joe was also barred from having any engagement with Callie.

You couldn’t handle it. Callie couldn’t handle it. And Joe wouldn’t stand for it. You know that for certain. He wouldn’t give a damn what the law stated.

“Yeah, that’s not fucking happening.” His dismissal is swift and firm. You have a feeling there isn’t a force on earth that could keep him from being with you right now. From being around Callie. “Are you sure you don’t want to try to eat something?”

Shaking your head, you explain. “No. I can’t risk vomiting again. I drank some Gatorade. I’ll be fine.” You don’t have a choice. Voice softening, you apologize again. “I’m so sorry about all of this. I had no idea she could ever—“

He stops you before you can get choked up. Joe's hands are on your face, comforting, “none of this is your fault, and I don’t blame you for anything. None of it.” His thumb brushes softly against your cheek. “But….but I do think we need to discuss moving up the move date for you and Callie.”

“I know.” You're certain he expected more of a push back from you, some level of argument, but he won’t find it. Mariah has taken that right away from you. “We—we can talk about it more later, okay?”

Understandably, he’s pleased and brings his hand to your hip, giving a gentle squeeze. “You should get going.” He’s right. The sooner you tackle this, the sooner you can focus on nailing this visitation.

He kisses your forehead, lips lingering as he murmurs, “I love you.”

You’ll never get tired of hearing those words leave his mouth, needing to hear them now more than ever. You’re so grateful for him and all he does. “I love you too.”

You’re grabbing your purse and keys off the key holder on the wall when he calls out your name.

“Mariah didn’t say anything to you before this, right? Outside of the exchange that day you told me about?” His question takes you by surprise, and he adds, probably not wanting you to feel like you’re on the witness stand. “My lawyers want to know if we can establish a paper trail.”

He’d mentioned reaching out to his legal team to see what recourse was available, but it isn’t something you’re overtly thrilled about. You understand where he’s coming from, but that’s not a route you’re sure you want to go down. Legal battles, from what you know, can get really ugly. And there’s a massive fear that somehow Callie will get dragged into the mess, forced to answer to lawyers and judges.

Your baby’s been traumatized enough already.

It’s why you decide on an answer that’s not the truth, but what you feel is best for your daughter. Once this is all said and done, you just want to put this all behind you and focus on your family.

Besides, there’s nothing else Mariah can do at this point, no lower she can stoop.

“No.” Even as it leaves your mouth, there’s a deep, nagging feeling that you’ve made the wrong decision not being honest with him. “She never said anything.”

—---------

“Is Dr. Sawyer available?”

Your voice is strong, firm, the exact opposite of everything you’ve felt over the past 48 hours. It’s a great display of fake confidence.

The receptionist looks up with a surprisingly friendly smile. “I’m sorry, do you have an appointment or—”

“I’m an old friend. I really need to talk to him. It’s, uhh, it’s an emergency.” It may be a bit of a stretch to call your desire to get some questions answered an emergency, but you’ll say and do whatever it takes to get Kai’s attention. “Tell him it’s Y/N.”

She asks you to give her a few minutes, and you decide to take a seat in the waiting area. Pulling out your phone, you text Joe to let him know you’ve made it here and ready to text your mom when you suddenly remember.

That’s been the other hard part of this debacle. Going through one of the hardest things you’ve ever endured and not being able to talk to your mom about it. If you had to choose between her guidance and your daughter being put under her care, you’d go with the latter every single time.

But that doesn’t take way the sadness you have at not being able to talk to your own mother.

“Y/N?”

Lifting your attention form your phone, you’re met with Kai Sawyer’s signature smile.

He looks both surprised and relieved to see you.

“Hi. I’m sorry to bother you—”

“No. Not a bother at all.” He sits down on the seat opposite of you, and given the only couple people in the ER are on the other side of the waiting room, you decide this is a safe place to talk. “I’m actually happy to see you Y/N.”

There’s something wary about his tone of voice, like he’s hinting at something he won’t outright say. That’s when you remember the sole reason Kai was even inserted into your life again, and it hits you. “DCFS spoke to you, didn’t they?”

It makes all the sense. Callie was rushed to the emergency room and had to undergo emergency surgery. You’re certain her medical records are also being reviewed, that kind of incident standing out to investigators.

Kai might be aware of the anxiety that’s starting to grow and proceeds to explain. “Yes, and I told them it was absolute bullshit.” His face takes on a look of disgust and irritation. “That it’s been years since I’ve seen a child so deeply connected and bonded with a parent like I saw with you and Callie. Her appendicitis and subsequent surgery was completely happenstance, and you did everything right.”

His words bring tears to your eyes. You know you’re a good mom and did the best you could that night, but it means a lot that Kai would defend you so staunchly who are trying to determine just that. “Thank you, Kai.”

“I didn’t say anything that was a lie.” His expression is sympathetic. “I’m really sorry this is happening to you, Y/N. Do you have any idea who made the call?”

“That’s actually why I’m here.” You blot at your eyes, not wanting to test the hold of this waterproof mascara. “Do you remember when you told me you were happy I got away from Mariah and Amir?”

“Yeah, why?” His eyes widen with shock. “Wait, did they—“

“It was Mariah.” Swallowing, there’s a bit of an edge in your voice as you explain. “That’s why I’m here. I need to know just who the hell I’ve called a best friend all these years, so much so that I made her Callie’s legal godmother.”

“Whoa, I thought—-you were still friends with her after all these years?” You shake your head yes, and he looks truly apologetic. “I’m sorry, I just thought—”

“That I’d been smarter? Yeah, me too.” Aside from depression and apathy, you’re struggling with beating yourself up for not recognizing sooner what kind of person Mariah truly is. How your oblivion could be strong. “Please, tell me what you know.”

He blows out a deep breath and leans back into the chair. “Well, I mean there’s no easy way to say this, but Mariah and Amir have been messing around since we were in high school.”

Your stomach drops.

That’s…..that’s not what you were expecting to hear.

In a whispered, pained voice, you ask, “what?”

He sighs and runs his hand over his face. “I don’t mean to get too personal, but I know it started around the time Amir was trying to pressure you into sleeping with him.” If not for the nature of the conversation, you’d find it a little adorable how he’s obviously trying his best to remain respectful. Kai has always been a genuinely decent guy. “He would constantly complain about you not ‘putting out’ around the locker room and during practice. And once he started hooking up with Mariah, he’d always brag about sleeping with the both of you.”

There’s so much to digest here. You’d figured Mariah and Amir were messing around after his slip around Christmas, but you figured it was a recent development. Now, you’re hearing that the girl you’ve considered a sister almost your whole life has been sleeping with the boy you once thought you loved from the very beginning?

“The times you couldn’t make it to parties, they’d be all over each other, but no one said anything because—”

“Because it was Amir,” you finish for him with a whisper. “He was the king of the school. No one would snitch on him, especially not his teammates.” You’re very familiar with the hierarchy and patriarchy of high school. You were the queen, just as much as he was the king, and everyone knew that you and Amir were always back and forth. They probably figured that you knew, or maybe they didn’t. You’re not so worried or stunned by just how many people knew and didn’t say anything. It doesn’t matter at this point.

What matters is that Mariah has always been a snake, a snake you brought around your child.

The child she got taken from you.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t say anything either—”

“No, don’t. You didn’t owe me anything.” It’s the two people who claimed to love and care about you who should have been honest. “I should apologize to you for dragging you into that bullshit. I’m really sorry, Kai. You didn’t deserve that.”

“We were kids, Y/N. Didn’t know any better.” Kai is clearly as uninterested in an apology from you as you are from him. “I’m sorry if this is too personal, but are you and Amir still….”

“No.” Just the thought alone nearly has you back to retching into the nearest toilet. “We were on and off friends with benefits since, well, high school. Outside of when I was with Callie’s dad for three years, but now Joe and I are back together. Have been for months.” There’s a small hint of excitement, the first non-sad emotion you’ve experienced in the past two days as you inform, “Callie and I will be moving to Florida to live with him.”

“Good.” Kai seems genuinely happy and pleased to hear this. “Hell, as a man, I can imagine he’d get you both on a plane out of here today if he could.” A small, sad chuckle leaves your mouth at his words. He’s probably not wrong. “You should have been left this place, Y/N. You deserve better. Always did. Get out of here and have a fresh start.”

The encouragement isn’t required but deeply appreciated. His openness and honesty provide you with a slither of relief. The information shared is something you’ll have to process at a later date and time, but it does answer some necessary questions you needed answered.

There’s no doubt in your mind at this point that leaving is absolutely what you need to do.

You just need to get through this nightmare first.

#roman reigns fic #roman reigns x black!reader #roman reigns x black!oc #roman reigns #arisnotebook

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causenessus · 17 hours

Text

cold kisses

part 0.17. EPILOGUE

PLAYING FROM KODZUKEN'S STREAM . . . sweet / i thought you wanted to dance by tyler the creator

he tries to take in a deep breath as the performance comes to an end. he feels the familiar way anxiety is constricting his chest as he gets up. the room has gone silent after they cheered; y/n and oikawa have just won first place, and the camera cuts to a closeup of them hugging each other tightly, both of them crying. a commentator is saying something about this being the second gold medal they have both won in a row when kenma stands up. everyone in the room looks to him as he moves to shut off the screen and grab the camera that’s been live streaming their reactions. he can see suna out of the corner of his eye giving him the slyest grin ever and he can’t help the smile that stretches across his own face.

“so, some of you guys caught on… but we’re not at my apartment. we’re gonna go find y/n and i have a surprise for her,” he’s talking to the camera, and the words are barely coming out of his mouth, the simultaneous panic and excitement choking him.

kuroo and iwaizumi are slapping him on the back as he walks out, kuroo following after him. he takes the camera from kenma with a stupid grin as slappable as suna’s on his face. kenma tries not to pay any attention to it. he grabs his phone from his pocket; it's open to the chat of his own livestream and he skims the chat. it’s moving faster than he can read, but a few words are catching his eyes. they’re all trying to guess what his surprise is, and some of them have gotten it.

then a notification appears at the top of his screen, and it slightly eases his panic.

“OIKAWA TOORU ☆ has gone live!”

soon the notification is replaced with a phone call from oikawa and he tries to take another deep breath before answering while kuroo talks to the camera.

“hey, is this working? how’s it going? you on your way?” oikawa sounds slightly breathless, which is to be expected. they’ve probably just gotten off the ice.

“yeah. it’s good, i just left the room,” kenma responds, watching his chat freak out. they know oikawa’s gone live, and kuroo has informed them that kenma's on the phone with him.

the entire plan had taken a lot of preparation; finding a room within the arena that he could stay in to stream watching the entire performance that he’d also be able to easily leave and get to y/n from. iwaizumi was still new as an athletic trainer, but he and oikawa had been able to get in contact with a manager to help them.

“alright, i think my button camera is working–chat, if you can hear me, this is a once in a life time sight: y/n’s making me take off her skates for her like i’m her servant. don’t let your significant others treat you like this,” oikawa’s tone is light hearted before the call goes quiet. kenma thinks he can barely hear y/n before oikawa grumbles about something. “kenma, i’m gonna end the call. we’ll see you soon.”

“your chat is pretty smart, i think they’ve already figured out what’s going on,” kuroo teases, keeping the camera on him.

kenma can only sigh, trying to prepare himself for the moment. “this is a lot more nervewracking than it looks. you guys might want to watch this from oikawa’s point of view instead,” he responds, using his phone to follow his own suggestion.

“no no no, we’re going this way,” oikawa's microphone isn’t the best, but he really couldn’t expect more from the little camera pinned to oikawa's shirt.

“oikawa, i’m pretty sure i know where we’re going. you’re the one who got us lost earlier today. the dressing rooms are to the right.” it’s only through oikawa’s stream, but hearing y/n's voice is enough to make his heart race–with more excitement than panic this time–he thinks.

kuroo puts a hand on his shoulder, “this is gonna go great, kenma.”

“thanks,” he replies, continue to watch oikawa’s stream.

“no! i–how dare you,” she doesn’t even know that she's just humiliated oikawa in front of his entire fanbase, and the thought makes him laugh. “i knew that too. but i have a surprise for you,” oikawa huffs.

“what? how did you even have the time to set anything up?” y/n’s looking up at him with a nervous smile.

“you’ll see soon enough.”

that’s the last thing he hears from oikawa’s stream before he shuts off his phone. he’s almost there.

⋆꙳•❅*‧ ‧*❆ ₊⋆

all she wants to do is change out of her dress. the bottoms of her tights are wet from the ice and the few stray strands of hair that have escaped the tight, sprayed-down bun it’s been pulled into are sticking to her face.

“god, oikawa, where are you taking me? why am i always getting into these situations i didn’t ask for right after the olympics?” she complains, walking barefoot next to him.

“hey, i’m not waiting outside your dressing room cornering you into a wall and telling you to break up with your boyfriend to date me. just trust me, you’ll be happy. we’re almost there,” he fires back and she can’t stop the mix of a gasp and laugh that comes out of her.

“you did not have to do atsumu that dirty. you know, he actually texted me–oh my god,” she stops in her tracks when they turn the corner and sees him standing on the other end of the hallway.

her feet move faster than her head and she’s running towards him, jumping into his arms as he spins her around, any fatigue she had previously felt disappearing.

“kenma, what are you doing here?” she slaps his shoulder lightly, mind still trying to process that he’s really in front of her.

“i don’t think i could go a week without seeing you, and i’m not missing your performance just because of a stupid class,” he answers, giving her a small smile.

her face warms a little as his words and she returns his smile before she notices kuroo, whose holding a camera a few feet away from them.

“are you recording surprising me at the olympics?” she laughs, pushing a hair that’s fallen in front of his face behind his ear.

“well, actually–” he pauses, taking in a deep breath before he’s kneeling in front of her.

“oh my– kenma. you’re not–” she takes a step back, mind going blank.

“i was wondering if you would marry me?”

her makeup was probably already ruined from the first time she cried while she was still on the ice rink, but if it hadn’t been then, her mascara was surely running down her face now.

she ends up getting on her knees in front of him to hold his face and kiss him while he’s still waiting for her answer, “yes. of course yes. of course i’ll marry you.”

prev. | m.list

extras <3

kenma was nervous the entire stream while him and everyone else was watching y/n and oikawa's performance but he was trying to hide it

kuroo was behind the camera but him and oikawa were just giving each other kissy faces while kenma and y/n were trying to have a private moment (oikawa forgot he was still streaming and so anyone in his chat was like ??? why is kuroo making kissy faces at us LMAO)

kenma's chat moderators are not having a good time

his chat absolutely exploded when he got down on one knee

don't come at me about time and how it's been four years and no one should be in school anymore or about how cameras and streaming works okay

mostly everyone's graduated

but kenma failed a few classes and had poor attendance and was there for another year or something idk

i cannot do more research please

proposals are so weird I had to google "how to say yes to a proposal" but I thought this was cute <3

this was NOT very proofread

thank you for reading cold kisses <3 this was a blast to write

taglist: @rinheartshyunlix @kettlepop @eggyrocks @cr4yolaas @httpakkeiji @keioover @does-directions @calx-bdo @staygoldsquatchling02 @cherrypieyourface @iluv-ace @kitty-m30w @h3xi2g0n3 @mylahrins @thechaosoflonging @momoriii-i @localgaytrainwreck @a-pastel-edgelord @bugglesboop @polish-cereal @osakis-gf @phoenix-eclipses @faesix @ryeyeyer @skylarkalchemist @kunimix @sereniteav @kodzubaby @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @r0seandth0rns @gsyche @kitnootkat @seillarium @tamimemo @myromanempiree @coldcigarette @eclipticnikki @squiishymeow @vivian-555 @cryptictheseus @eclecticeggknightpsychic @kodzukein @kawaii-angelanne @luvly-writer @kodzuken-hoe @kodzuken88 @bookworm-center @theweirdfloatything @glitch-karma @spicana

#kozume kenma #kenma kozume #kenma #kenma x reader #kenma smau #kenma x reader smau #haiykuu smau #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #hq #hq x reader

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lilstarkeydream · 3 days

Text

Hidden Flames- Chapter 1

Summary: Y/N, a Kook who prefers the company of her Pogue friends, slowly falls for Rafe Cameron. Despite their growing feelings, they maintain a facade of hatred due to their conflicting social circles and personal insecurities. Y/N is best friends with Sarah, Rafe's sister, which fuels Rafe's hidden affection. He despises how Y/N hangs out with the Pogues, believing she has more potential, while Y/N can't stand Rafe's for fights and stuck up nature. After a dramatic confrontation, they confess their feelings but must keep their relationship secret, with only Sarah and Topper in the know.

Warnings: 18+ only! Angst, Smut, Adult language, Violence, Alcohol use

Authors note: Hey guys! This is my first time writing any fan fiction, so go easy on me but I hope you enjoy. I am hoping to have another chapter up within the next week, as well as a series navigation. Feel free to send requests if you have story ideas for Rafe (check my bio).

7k words

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ

It was 9 o'clock on a Friday night. Nightfall had crept up before you knew it, and the island was alive with the buzz of another wild party. After a long day working at the golf course, you headed straight to your best friend Sarah Cameron’s white mansion. Known as the Kook princess, Sarah had welcomed you into her world since you moved to the island in middle school. The Cameron residence had become your second home, between sleepovers, getting ready for parties, and just gossip sessions. Despite the bitter fallout between Sarah and Kiara, which shattered your once inseparable trio, you managed to stay close to both, splitting your life between Kooks and Pogues.

Sarah's boyfriend, Topper, was a constant presence. As her older brother’s best friend, he was also practically part of the family. You weren’t super fond of Topper, as he could be a self-entitled asshole, but he made her happy for the most part- besides their weekly fights and Topper getting mad at Sarah for the littlest of things. He made her happy that’s all that mattered. Rafe Cameron is Sarah's older brother and Topper's best friend, he was also a self-entitled asshole, who you, unfortunately, had to see on a weekly basis, due to the mutual connection. Topper and Rafe also golfed a lot, leaving the interactions unavoidable since you worked as a Bev cart girl for extra cash. Rafe was insufferable, to say the least, he always found a way to make your life a living nightmare.

Your other time is spent hanging out with the Pogues- JJ, John B, Kiara, and Pope. Both you and Kiara are technically Kooks, but honestly, that lifestyle became too much for you both all the time. Hence how you found your best friends, the Pogues. The Pogues offered freedom, adventure, and a sense of belonging you hadn’t found anywhere else. Your parents disapproved, deeming your Pogue friends as bad influences. They never understood why you would want to degrade your self-worth and reputation, but they don’t understand how intoxicating Kook life can truly be. Your life felt like a constant balancing act, a war between the adventurous and fulfilling life as Pogues and the obligations of being a Kook.

Now, you were at Sarah’s house, frantically trying to find the perfect outfit for the party, rummaging through her expensive wardrobe. You were caught between wanting to look sexy or slutty, and trying to distract yourself from the anger simmering from your encounter at work earlier that day. Every dress you held up seemed to fall short of the image you had in mind. Rafe Cameron had made yet another one of his insufferable comments, making it impossible to make focus. You tried to shake off the previous encounter from the gold course.

Earlier that afternoon, the golf course was bathed in golden sunlight, creating the perfect atmosphere for your shift. As the beverage cart girl, you were used to dealing with the occasional lewd remark or entitled attitude from the Kook golfers, but Rafe always took it a step further. You had just finished serving drinks to a group of older businessmen when Rafe called over, his smirk as infuriating as ever, signaling he only wanted to cause you chaos

"Hey there, service girl," he said, leaning against the cart with an exaggerated casualness with the usually smug grin hung on his face. "Nice to see you finally doing something useful for once."

You forced a tight smile, hoping to get through the interaction without causing a scene. "Can I get you anything, Rafe?"

"Yeah, how about a little respect?" he sneered back, his body language reeking of mockery. "Or is that too much to ask from a Pogue-wannabe like you?"

Your hands instantly tightened on the steering wheel of the cart, every muscle in your body screaming at you to say something back, to put him in his place. If anything he was even worse. But you knew better. Engaging would only escalate the situation, and Rafe thrived on conflict, he wanted you to respond with a snarky comment. Instead, you focused on the task at hand, preparing his drink and handing it to him with forced politeness and a tight-lip smile on your face.

"Here you go, Rafe. Enjoy your day."

He took the drink, his fingers brushing yours in a way that felt more like a taunt than an accident. "Don't screw it up too badly tonight, alright? Wouldn't want you embarrassing Sarah in front of everyone."

The comment stung more than you cared to admit. It wasn't just his words; it was how he always managed to make you feel small and insignificant- solidifying your existing insecurities. As he walked away, laughing with his friends, you felt the familiar mix of anger and frustration bubble up inside you.

As you were brought back from daydreaming your anger only grew, causing you to blurt out your day's frustration, "I fucking hate him, Sarah. All he does is go around doing drugs and causing fights. I was so close to flipping out today." pacing around Sarah’s room, venting. You already debriefed Sarah on the whole incident, but you couldn’t help but talk about it again. Your usual thick skin was not feeling so intact.

Sarah looked at you with her empathic face, sighing, trying to calm you down "Y/N, you know he just tries to get under your skin. It’s what Rafe does."

Frustrated, you rolled your eyes, "He doesn't care about my feelings. He thinks I’m a total disgrace to the Kook name. Maybe he’s right. I don’t give a shit about the Kook life and do half of what I do to please my parents."

You continued pacing, finally settling on a black dress that hugged your curves, pairing it with your simple burgundy swimsuit underneath. Leaving your hair down, you opted for simple strap sandals, finally feeling ready for the night.

Rafe Cameron is a special kind of infuriating. You try to tolerate him, you do, but his constant snarky comments about every aspect of your life makes him incredibly punchable. No matter how tall and handsome he might be, it didn’t matter in this instance. You could handle some comments, but you weren’t a complete pushover.

Sarah trying to steer the conversation to a happier note, in an attempt to diffuse your anger “Let's just go to this party, get blasted drunk, meet some people, and forget about tonight. Rafe isn't worth the stress."

Taking a deep breath, you knew she was right, momentarily letting go of your anger “You’re right. I’m not going to let him ruin our night. Let’s go have some fun." Finally settling down from your pacing, you put the final touches on your makeup sitting down in front of Sarah’s mirror.

“I know I’m right Y/N” giving me a loving side glance “Plus why does it matter what he thinks anyway. He’s always high and pissed off”. She paused for a second, finishing up her hair. “Alright, we're all ready to go and get drunk as fuck?” she said with a smug look on her face.

You took a deep breath, letting the tension of the day slip away. Sarah's carefree attitude was contagious, and despite everything, you couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement. She might be a little blind to her brother's flaws, especially since she was dating Topper and their worlds were so intertwined, but she was still your best friend.

After a quick car drive and lots of shuffling through Sarah’s mixed-genre playlist, you arrived at the more-than-alive scene of the party. You weren’t even sure whose house it was but hell that didn’t matter. A party is a party. Music instantly fills your ears as soon as you step out of the car. The front yard was packed with people, a mixture of Kooks and Pogues mingling together, the tension of their social divide momentarily forgotten. Almost serving as a symbol for what your pogue-kook life looked like.

Walking through the front door, the house was a blur of lights and laughter. You made your way to the kitchen, the center of every good party. You hugged Sarah as she wanted to venture off to find Topper, as usual, but you didn’t mind. You needed a little break to gather your thoughts anyway. The familiar scent of expensive cologne and perfume mingled with the heavy aroma of alcohol and smoke, creating an intoxicating atmosphere. Grabbing a red solo cup from the stack, you filled it with a generous amount of a strong mix of whatever was handy—tonight was about forgetting the week’s frustrations. You took a small sip, wincing slightly at the strong taste, but internally smiling at the immediate warmth of the alcohol that spread through your chest.

The drink was strong, probably vodka, but you needed it. As you leaned against the counter, you took a moment to take in the scene around you. The living room was a blur, with loud music thumping in conjunction with conversation and laughter.

Despite the alive atmosphere, the exchange between you and Rafe still lurked in your mind. Sometimes you felt like a Kook who didn’t quite fit in, you have well-off parents and a promising paved future with privilege and opportunity. Your parents envisioned you with a successful career, bringing pride and status to the family name. Yet, you were never a huge fan of the behavior the Kook lifestyle manifested, often self-centered, ignorant, asshole-like individuals. Rafe is a great example of that.

With your drink secure in your hand, you pushed yourself off the counter and made your way through the house outside to the bonfire. You felt a wave of relief as soon as the fresh ocean air hit your face, heat from the fire mixed with the ocean breeze creating a perfect party atmosphere. You spotted your friends - JJ, John B, Kiara, and Pope, sitting around the fire, laughing about something stupid JJ said. The genuine joy is clear on their faces, contrasting with the pretentious kook attitudes.

With a big grin on your face, you called out, “Hey guys, mind if I join you?”

Kiara’s eyes lit up in recognition of your face, “Y/N! Get over here, come sit down. We were just talking about crazy stuff JJ pulled off last week. “

As you settled in, the warmth of the fire continued to provide comfort as well as your friends began to ease your previous tense state. JJ went into vivid detail about his last mischievous adventure, our expressions displaying a mix of disbelief and laughter at his antics. The conversation effortlessly flowed, sharing jokes and stories that had everyone laughing until their stomachs hurt. I could feel the effects of the alcohol starting to take effect. In other words, the night was perfect. For a moment, it felt like everything in the world was right. These moments with your Pogue friends were ones that you cherished most. They made you feel alive, grounded, and understood; something you missed out on in your Kook life.

Eventually, you reached the bottom of the solo cup, signaling a refill was needed. Standing up, you navigate your way back to the kitchen, passing both Kooks and Pogues you couldn’t put a name to. The house became a maze, with more people filing in as the night was still young. As you reached the familiar environment of the kitchen for the bottle of Vodka, you suddenly bumped into someone. Looking up, you found yourself face to face with the one and only Rafe Cameron, his ocean-blue eyes, slightly glazed with alcohol and god knows what other drugs, looking down at you. His presence was overwhelming, you could smell a mixture of his cologne and the sharpness of vodka.

Rafe smirked down at you drunk, “Well, well, look who decided to slum it with the Pogues tonight. Have you decided you're finally trying to find yourself a real man, Y/N?”

His words were a direct hit causing you to look away, annoyance taking over your face, however, you kept your cool, “Just enjoying the party, Rafe. Not that any of it is your business”

Rafe took a step closer, lowering his voice for only you to hear, “Everything you do is my business, Y/N. Don't you forget that?” His sudden proximity made your heart race, you felt a mix of anger and something else- something else you wouldn’t dare to acknowledge.

Flustered, you shot back, “Fuck off, Rafe. You don’t care about me.” You angrily push him away, your hands firm against the muscles of his chest, and quickly turn around, making your way back to your friends. The interaction with Rafe left you shaken, the interaction making you once again feel so small yet so noticed. You quickly downed two more drinks, trying to steady your nerves. Taking in Sarah’s words from earlier to just try and enjoy the night.

As the alcohol coursed through your veins, you started to feel a pleasant buzz, hoping the tension was behind you. You felt engulfed by your friend's laughter with the warmth of the fire.

Suddenly, your mood shifted once again, as you saw Rafe Cameron making his way towards the bonfire. This time more drunk and agitated.

As Rade approaches he spits "Y/N, you think you can just walk away from me like that?"

You stood up, the alcohol giving you a false sense of courage. "What the hell do you want, Rafe? Can't you just leave me alone?"

Rafe rolled his eyes, continuing to mock you “Oh, look at you. Acting all tough in front of your Pogue friends. You’ll never be a pogue Y/N, just give it up!"

The Pogues immediately rose to your defense, with John B stepping forward. "Back off, Rafe. She doesn't need to deal with your shit tonight." John B stepping between you and Rafe.

Topper, along with a few other Kooks, approached to back up Rafe. "Stay out of it, John B. This is between Rafe and Y/N."

Tensions escalated quickly as insults were thrown back and forth. You could feel the eyes of everyone around you, the entire party was now focused on the showdown. Anxiety coursing through your body, unsure of why Rafe had a sudden interest making his hatred for you a public display.

Rafe's voice grew louder, more aggressive. "You're just a joke, Y/N. You’re pathetic. You don’t belong with us Kooks, and you never will."

Your anger boiled over, you began to raise your voice. "And who are you to decide where I belong? You’re just a spoiled brat who thinks he can control everyone."

Rafe's eyes flashed with anger, and he took a step closer. "You’re going to regret saying that."

Before you could react, Rafe shoved you. The force of his push sent you stumbling backward. The Pogues immediately rushed to your side, while the Kooks moved in to support Rafe. The scene erupted into chaos, with shoving and shouting escalating into a full-blown brawl.

John B and Topper exchanged punches, while JJ and Pope tried to hold back the other Kooks. Even with the chaos, Rafe's eyes remained locked on yours, his anger still burning.

You struggled to regain your balance, your head spinning from the mix of alcohol and adrenaline. Kiara was at your side in an instant, helping you to your feet. "Are you okay?" she asked, her voice filled with worry.

You nodded weakly, brushing off your clothes and fixing your hair. "I think so. I didn’t hit my head or anything. I’m just really drunk." You instantly are brought back to reality realizing there’s still a fight going on, in an attempt to break it up, you make your way to John B. and Rafe.

"Stop it, Rafe!" you shouted, trying to pull him away from the fight. "This isn’t worth it!"

Ignoring you, Rafe lunged at John B again, but you stepped in between them, pushing Rafe back with all your strength. "I said, stop it!"

Sarah appeared behind Topper, her face prominent with both frustration and concern. She darted between the fighters, yelling at Rafe and Topper. "Stop it, you idiots! This is so stupid!"

Sarah was still trying to break up the fight, her voice cutting through the air. "Rafe, Topper, knock it off! You're acting like complete assholes!"

Breathing heavily, Rafe finally relented, his eyes still locked on you. He remained silent putting his hands up. Before turning around and walking away he muttered, “Dirty pogues.” You glared back at him, your chest heaving, at a loss for words.

As the thrill from the fight finally died down, everyone began to disperse, the calming party atmosphere now shattered. You turned away from the bonfire, heading toward the beach to clear your head. JJ tried to stop you from leaving telling you to stay with them, all you could do was shake your head, knowing the complexity of your emotions was too much right now. The cool night air did little to calm your racing heart. You began to feel tears prick in your eyes, the emotions of the recent events starting to overtake you. Your chest tightened as you began to silently cry, tears streaming down your face. The alcohol did little to nothing to suppress the storm.

You were still wondering about Rafe's sudden outburst of emotion aimed toward you. He’s said many rude comments to you in the past about you hanging with the Pogues, and how it’s like you aren’t a real Kook. But never this confrontational. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the drugs. But his anger was more intense, more personal. The same feeling as earlier began to rise, the one you don’t dare to acknowledge, was there another reason for his sudden interest?

You walked along the shoreline, the sound of the ocean filling your eyes, the waves crashing against the sand. The consistency of the ocean brings you a brief sense of relief from the chaos you were wrapped up in. Despite the beauty around you, the moonlight reflecting on the water, you felt the rage boil inside you, coming with another wave of tears.

Rafe's actions tonight suggested something more, tonight hinted at a complexity you hadn’t quite considered before. You wiped your tears with your arm, frustration continuing to bubble up within you.

Why did he care so much about who you spent your time with? Why was he always your prying eyes, always judging? The more you ponder these ideas, the more confused you become. You couldn’t deny a spark you felt when he was close, but even if that was true, it was too deeply buried underneath many layers of anger and resentment.

As you were still deep in your thoughts, staring out into the ocean, looking for some sort of answer, you heard footsteps approaching from behind. You turned to see Rafe following you, his expression unreadable. "Y/N, wait," he called out, his voice softer now, almost vulnerable.

You crossed your arms, the moonlight glowing over your soft features. Rafe could see your clear hurt expression and tear-stained cheeks. “What could you possibly want Rafe? Haven’t you caused enough trouble tonight” You demanded, despite your voice trembling due to hurt and sorrow

Rafe sighed, looking away, running his hand through his hair, “I don’t know, I don’t know Y/N.” he paused for a second, words hanging heavily between you “Maybe I just… I just wanted to talk”

You scoffed at this almost instantly, and you began to turn around and walk away “You have a weird way of showing it? Insulting me, pushing me, hurting my friends.” you spat back, nothing but bitterness in your voice, unwillingly for him to truly see how deeply his actions hurt you.

But his footsteps continued to follow you, “Please” he pleaded, reaching out to grab your arm gently, causing you to turn around to face him. Your heart skipped a beat despite your anger still present. “Just… give me a chance y/n”

Your mind raced, surprised by his vulnerability, you paused and looked up into his eyes. In this moment, the resentment you too held for each other seemed to melt away, leaving something raw and unspoken in its place. You hated the way he made you feel so small and judged yet here he was at the same time, his vulnerable voice struck something else in you, making you hesitate. Quickly second guessing if you’d regret giving him a chance to talk to you. Opening the possibility of finding out the motives behind his spite and arrogance. The scene from earlier races across your mind.

All you could do was mutter softly, “What could you possibly want to talk to me about, Rafe? To hurt me again? To prove that I don’t belong? I thought you made it clear your feelings towards me.” your voice breaking even more with everything word.

Rafe's grip on your arm tightened slightly, just enough for you not to walk away. He took a deep breath, his eyes searching yours. "Y/N, I know I've been a complete asshole. I know I've hurt you and pushed you away, but... it’s because I didn’t know how else to handle this. Handle us."

"Us?" you echoed, confused and overwhelmed.

"Yes, us," he said, stepping closer. "I can't stop thinking about you. It drives me crazy seeing you with them, with the Pogues. I hate it because I... I care about you." You searched his eyes, looking for a sense of truth behind his words. Could it be that all his hostility was masking something deeper he felt?

His confession left you stunned. You had always thought Rafe hated you. Ever since you knew Sarah, Rafe was only rude to you. Rolling his eyes every time he saw you, purposefully causing hell for you on the golf course, yet being overprotective when it came to you hanging with the pogues. These new emotions were a lot to take in, something you’d never think for Rafe Cameron to admit.

“Why Rafe?” you spoke, your voice still barely above a whisper, “Why do you care so much about who I’m with?”

He hesitated at this, not sure whether to reveal the truth to his bitterness, “Because… because it’s you y/n” his voice finally breaking at his vulnerability, “Because you’re different. You make me feel things I don’t want to feel. I don’t know how to handle this.”

Before you could process all of it, still looking wide-eyed at Rafe, he leaned in and captured your lips in a kiss. It was soft at first, hesitant, but then it grew more passionate. A knot in your stomach growing, the sensation of his lips felt like none other. You kissed him back, your heart pounding, swearing you never wanted this moment to end. This new side of Rafe was one you never wanted to end.

Rafe pulled away abruptly, his eyes wide with regret. "I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I—" Against your best judgment, you closed the distance again, kissing him more passionately this time. The alcohol must’ve taken over the rational thinking of this situation, the four drinks you had taking its full effect. The moment his lips met yours, a surge of heat spread through your body, making your heart race and your skin tingle. His lips were surprisingly soft, a stark contrast to his usual rough demeanor.

His hands gently cupped your face, his touch both tender and possessive, sending shivers down your spine. Every movement of his lips against yours was intoxicating, drowning out the chaos of the party and the world around you. You could taste the remnants of alcohol on his breath, mingling with a hint of something sweet and entirely Rafe.

As the kiss deepened, you felt a mix of emotions – anger, desire, confusion, and an unexpected tenderness. It was as if all the tension, all the animosity between you, had been building up to this moment, where words were no longer necessary. Your mind struggled to keep up with the rush of feelings, but your body responded instinctively, leaning into him, craving more of his touch.

In that kiss, you felt a vulnerability you had never seen in Rafe before. It was raw and unfiltered, a glimpse into the complex layers beneath his tough exterior. The kiss was a silent confession, a bridge between your worlds that had been divided for so long. It was overwhelming, exhilarating, and left you breathless, with your heart pounding and your mind reeling from the sheer intensity of it all.

You both pulled away from the kiss, both breathless, your head swirling with a mix of new emotions.

Rafe still noticed your still drunken state, leaving you in no condition to stay alone, “Y/n you shouldn’t be alone right now. Do you want a ride? You can stay the night at my house.”

Despite your best judgment, you found yourself nodding and smiling. “Sure” is all you could muster out. Even if this was just for one night, you didn’t want these feelings to end. The intimate moment between you and Rafe was far from unexpected, and it was probably the alcohol but hell you didn’t want this night to end. You got out your phone and texted Sarah and the Pogues, letting them know you were getting a ride home and not to wait up for you, telling them you just needed some time to clear your head. You felt guilty for lying to your friends but you couldn’t help but wonder what the night held.

Rafe led you to his truck, and the cold air flushed against your warm skin. Rafe opened the door for you, his touch lingering on your arm, you climbed in, your mind racing. The car ride was silent, but not awkward. You both stole glances at each other, the kiss and the rush of new emotions lingered in the air between you, heavy with unspoken words and possibilities. You couldn’t help but feel torn. On one hand, you saw a side of Rafe that was genuine and sincere, something that made you want to trust him. His body language, the way he carefully watched the road but still glanced at you, and his words from earlier all hinted at a deeper truth.

On the other hand, you couldn’t shake the nagging guilt and doubt. Trusting Rafe felt like betraying the Pogues, your friends who had been there for you through thick and thin. They despised him, and for good reason. His past actions, the way he treated you and others, loomed large in your mind. Was this a mistake? Would you regret this in the morning?

When you arrived at the Cameron residence, you both carefully and silently made your way up to Rafe's room, you were already familiar with the layout of his house due to being here millions of times hanging out with Sarah. Although despite the numerous hangouts, you have never once been into Rafe's room.

When you entered his room, you weren’t surprised by the size but more taken aback by the simplicity yet authenticity of his room. The smell of his cologne filling your nose, being the main aroma of his room. The room was dominated by a king-sized bed, neatly made with dark blue and grey bedding. In one corner stood a large grey sofa, both the bed and the sofa facing a ginormous TV mounted on the wall. His room was so organized, not a spec of clothing on the floor, it seemed like everything had its place. His dresser took you by the most surprise, it wasn’t even the dresser itself but the picture frames scattered on top of it, Rafe looked happy in all of them, yet again a new side of Rafe you haven’t seen.

Pulled out of your thoughts, Rafe comes back from rummaging through his closet and hands you some spare clothes for you to sleep in. You offered him a warm smile in exchange and made your way to the bathroom to change.

As soon as the bathroom door closed behind you, a surge of conflicting emotions hit you like a wave. You stared at your reflection in the mirror, your face flushed from both the alcohol and the events of the night. Questions and doubts flooded your mind. What were you doing here? Why had you agreed to stay? The uncertainty was eating at your stomach, making your heart race.

You began to change into the clothes Rafe had given you, the feel of the soft fabric against your skin oddly comforting. As you pulled his t-shirt over your head, engrossed by his scent, intensifying your internal conflict. Why did his presence, his touch, and his kiss stir such strong emotions within you?

The memory of the kiss flashed through your mind. The vulnerability you had seen in Rafe, the raw intensity of the moment, it all felt so real. The feeling you didn’t want to acknowledge came rising back, feeling uneasy about facing these emotions. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. You were witnessing a side of Rafe that made you question everything you thought you knew.

Once you emerged for the bathroom noticing Rafe already changed into some grey shorts and an old t-shirt, Rafe looked up and said, “You can have my bed tonight.” His voice was low and tired, “I’ll take the Sofa. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

You hesitated at his words, feeling a mix of uncertainty and trust. Despite everything, despite your best judgment and all the hatred you’ve had towards Rafe for years, it all seemed to fade in that moment, you found yourself shyly saying, “Can you sleep in the bed, please? It’s a big bed, plus it would make me feel safer.”

Partially knowing your need to feel safe was a lie, you felt a deeper pull in your gut—a need for his presence. Rafe paused at your response, searching your eyes for any sign of doubt, “Are you sure y/n?”

You nodded at him reassuring him of your answer. Rafe turned off the lights, only the moon illuminating a path to the bed. Both of you got into the bed, lying down side by side. The silence was thick with unspoken words and new feelings, and the room was charged with the intensity of the night’s events. The bed felt enormous with the space left between you, a sharp contrast from your previous closeness.

Lying there, you could feel the heat radiating from his body, a tangible reminder of how close he was. Your mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, trying to process everything that had happened. You had always seen Rafe as the enemy, the source of your frustrations, but now he was something different, something you couldn't quite define. The kiss tonight felt like it changed everything you thought you knew about him. You saw Rafe with lots of girls at parties but never seen him touch them or kiss them the way he did to you.

Rafe turned to you, interrupting your thoughts, his voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't mean to hurt you tonight. I just... I don't know how to deal with these feelings. I’m sorry"

You turned towards him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes despite the darkness. "Rafe, why now? Why tonight?" The alcohol seemed to be fading from your system.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair and over his face, clearly still confused with his emotions, "I don't know. Maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it's just everything catching up to me. But when I saw you tonight, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You looked beautiful tonight y/n, I’ve tried to push it away, but I can’t anymore."

Your heart pounded in your chest, the weight of his words sinking in. You reached out, your fingers brushing against his. "Rafe, this is all so confusing. I've always thought you hated me. I’ve been friends with Sarah for so long, and all you ever did was give me death glares"

Rafe shook his head, his hand closing around yours. "I never hated you, Y/N. I was just too scared to admit how I felt. And I didn’t know how to deal with it. The truth is I’ve always liked you. You’re gorgeous y/n, I can never keep my eyes off of you." You could tell this was hard for him to admit, not being of the emotional type, but his confession tugged at your heartstrings.

The raw honesty in his voice stirred something deep within you. Before you could stop yourself, you leaned in, capturing his lips in another kiss. He wrapped his hand around your waist pulling you closer. Your hand resting on the back of his neck, feeling the tension in his muscles. This kiss was softer, and more tender, but still charged with the same intensity and emotions as before.

Rafe pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours. "I'm sorry," he murmured, his breath warm against your lips. "I didn’t mean to complicate things."

You shook your head, a small smile tugging at your lips. "It's okay, Rafe. Maybe we both needed this."

Rafe's hands cupped your face, reconnecting your lips with a deeper kiss, and you felt a shiver run down your spine. The kiss was more than just a kiss; it was a confession, a release of everything you both had been holding back. You could feel the desperation in his touch, the way his fingers tangled in your hair, pulling you closer.

"Y/N," he murmured against your lips, his voice raw with emotion. "I need you."

The words sent a chill through you, and you responded with equal intensity. "I need you too, Rafe. I want you”

He could feel the warmth of your body through his fingertips, a reminder of how vulnerable this moment was. His hands were steady, yet there was a slight tremor, betraying the storm of emotions he was feeling. Rafe slept with women before but it was never a feeling like this, he never felt nervous.

As he slid your shirt off your shoulders, his eyes never left yours. There was a softness in his gaze, a silent question asking if this was truly okay. When you nodded, the trust in your eyes sent a wave of relief and gratitude through him. His touch grew bolder, his fingers trailing down your sides, savoring the feel of your skin.

When he finally reached the waistband of your pants, Rafe paused, taking a deep breath. This was it—the point of no return. He met your gaze again, searching for any sign of hesitation, but found only the same longing mirrored in your eyes. Slowly, he pulled your pants down, his hands skimming your legs, committing every detail to memory, not knowing if this moment would happen again. Rafe's breath hitched as he took in the sight of you, every inch of you in this intimate moment.

"You're beautiful," he murmured, his voice filled with sincerity

Rafe's heart raced as he stood back to take in the sight of you, fully exposed and completely trusting. There was a deep sense of awe mixed with desire, It was a connection, a moment of raw honesty between two people who had spent so long hiding their true feelings. He was nervous, not wanting to mess up this chance to show you how he truly felt, and that nervousness translated into gentleness. As he leaned in to kiss you again, his hands exploring your body with newfound confidence, he felt a surge of emotion he couldn't quite put into words—a mix of fear and excitement.

At that moment, Rafe realized just how much he wanted this, and wanted you, and he vowed to himself that he would make this night unforgettable for both of you.

As Rafe reached for the hem of his shirt, you felt a rush of anticipation mixed with butterflies in your stomach. The reality of the situation hit you all at once, making your heart race, but you’ve never wanted him so badly. When Rafe lifted his shirt over his head, revealing his toned chest and muscular arms, you couldn't help but stare. The moonlight filtering through the window highlighted the contours of his body, casting shadows that emphasized his athletic build.

Your hands instinctively reached out to touch him, your fingers tracing the lines of his muscles. His skin was warm and smooth under your touch, and you could feel the subtle quiver in his body, betraying his nervousness. As you explored his chest with your hands, you were overwhelmed by a mix of emotions. There was a deep, unspoken understanding between you, a silent acknowledgment of the complexity of your relationship. You didn’t know if this feeling would be there tomorrow, both of you silently promising to make the most of tonight.

Your breath hitched as you moved closer, pressing your body against his. The feel of his skin against yours was intoxicating, heightening your senses and deepening the connection between you. Every kiss and every touch was filled with a newfound intensity, a reflection of the passion and desire that had been simmering beneath the surface for so long.

In that moment, you realized just how much you wanted this, wanted him. All the years of misunderstanding seemed to fade away, replaced by a powerful need to be close to him, to understand him in a way you never had before. As you lost yourselves in each other, you felt a sense of completeness, as if this was where you were meant to be all along.

Rafe's hands roamed over your body, exploring every inch with a hunger that matched your own. You arched into his touch, your breaths coming in short, sharp gasps as he found all the right spots. It was overwhelming, the sheer intensity of it all, but you didn’t want it to stop. Rafe broke the kiss and began slowly trailing down your neck, his mouth latching onto your breast, swirling your nipple, flicking and sucking, while his other hand cupped your other breast, kneading and teasing until you were a quivering mess beneath him.

He seemed to know exactly how to drive you wild, alternating between gentle caresses and firm, deliberate touches. His hand slowly trailed down your stomach, fingers brushing over your sensitive skin, before finally slipping between your thighs. You gasped as he found your entrance, his fingers stroking and circling, applying just the right amount of pressure.

Rafe's mouth never left your breast as he continued to pleasure you with his hand, his fingers moving in and out in a rhythm that matched the quickening beat of your heart. He added another finger, stretching and filling you, his thumb expertly finding your most sensitive spot. The combined sensations of his mouth on your breast and his hand between your legs sent you spiraling toward the edge.

Just as you were about to tip over into bliss, he stopped abruptly, pulling his hand away. A whine escaped your lips, craving his touch once again. As scanned your eyes from approval one last time, he lined himself up with your entrance. With a gentle touch, Rafe guided himself into you, both of you gasping at the sensation. He moved slowly at first, giving you time to adjust, but soon the urgency took over, and his movements became faster, more desperate. The room was filled with the sounds of your mingled moans and the rhythmic slap of skin against skin.

Pressing his body deeper into yours, you felt instant pleasure. You could see in his eyes that he felt it too—the same overwhelming pleasure, the same intense connection. You swore on your life you never felt something as good as his. Your moans filled the air and he picked up the pace. Rafe has never felt so exposed, yet so open to another person. His hands gripped your hips, pulling you closer as if he couldn’t bear to be even an inch away from you. The intensity of it all was almost too much to bear, but you didn’t want it to stop.

You lost track of time, the world outside fading away until there was only the two of you. Every thrust sent waves of pleasure through you, building higher and higher until you felt like you might explode. Rafe's name spilled from your lips, laced with need and desire. You could feel him getting close, his movements becoming more erratic.

With a final, powerful thrust, you both came undone, your bodies trembling with the intensity of your release. The climax washed over you in waves, each more intense than the last, leaving you breathless and completely satisfied. Rafe collapsed beside you, pulling you into his arms as you both tried to catch your breath. His chest rose and fell rapidly, matching the frantic beat of your own heart as you clung to each other.

The silence was filled with a new kind of intimacy, the kind that comes from sharing something profound. As your breathing slowly returned to normal, you became aware of the lingering warmth of his body against yours, and the sound of his heartbeat beneath your ear. It was a moment of pure bliss, that you wished could last forever.

You could feel Rafe's fingers gently stroking your back, his touch tender and reassuring. The connection between you felt stronger than ever, a bond forged not just in passion, but a sense of trust that had developed between you. A feeling you had never experienced before, a sense of completeness that made you never want to leave his side. Your mind couldn’t help but drift to the complexity of your relationship and the uncertainties that the future held. You tried to push the worries to the back of your mind, savoring the moment of how his body felt against yours.

As you drifted off to sleep, Rafe’s arms wrapped around you protectively, you couldn’t help but wonder what this meant for the two of you. You knew that this moment was fleeting, that the reality of your complicated relationship would come crashing back in the morning, but for now, you allowed yourself to savor the feeling of being close to him. You held onto a string of hold that maybe, this could last.

--——----------————- ❥・-------------------------

Please like and repost so I know to post more chapters:)🫶 Thank you for reading!

#rafe cameron imagines #drew starkey #drew starkey x reader #rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe x reader #rafe imagine #rafe outer banks #outer banks #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron fanfiction #enemies to lovers

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erinwantstowrite · 3 days

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Let me just quickly say, cross-overs can sometimes get REALLY difficult to map out and write in a cohesive way but you have absolutely NAILED IT!! I absolutely ADORE LoF!!! I usually don’t even bother reading fics with the ‘Richard Grayson is Richard Parker’ premise cause I felt like they were super confusing and overcomplicated but this fic?? SUPERB. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD I ADORE IT. Everyone’s characterizations are so nice and wonderful aaaaaaah!!!! <33333

Ok ok I did actually have a question as well: would you be willing to share what your writing process looks like in terms of a chapter you’ve already posted? I was just wondering since I’m also currently working on my own fic (it’s been a few years but I managed to get fixated on an idea and it grew legs lol) and I’m currently fighting the organization of it haha.

How do you keep track of the plot points and/or foreshadowing you want to get a ‘lightbulb!’ moment for later? Do you have any tips?

Thank you so much! I absolutely adore your writing AND your art is so gorgeous omg it adds so much to the incredible story :DDD I hope you have a good day!!

I have a secret: I actually didn't like "Richard Grayson is Richard Parker' tag for a while for the same reason. Sometimes they felt like they missed the mark or it's just. A thing that's there? I almost didn't include it for LoF, but I'm glad I did because it changed the direction in such a big way.

Another secret: this made me incredibly happy because I have read so many wikis and scoured the internet to make sure that I had enough info on both fandoms so LoF could make sense to anyone who's reading it, whether they know Spider-Man, Batfam, or neither at all. Sometimes I worry a lot before I post that I'll miss a mark and will confuse people.

As for the question: I definitely am willing to share what my writing process looks like!

Be prepared for under the cut, I love to yap. It's in my blood to yap. And that's why it took a minute to get to this ask haha

(Spoilers for Leap of Faith!! Everything mentioned has already been published ((Chapters 1-11))

I had to go and find out which chapter I wanted to use as an example and I think we're gonna go with Chapter 5 for the most part :)

My writing process is, as described by alighterwood:

I think the description fits because while I'm all over the place, I have to be very detail oriented and I store everything in one spot.

Starting with the overall process, what I find is most helpful for me, when organizing, is having a notebook rather than doing it all digitally. I've been using a 70 sheet notebook that I had lying around waiting to be used, and as of yesterday, I officially filled the entire thing front to back. It's been an incredible help, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it's a lot easier to remember something I physically wrote down than it is to remember something I typed. I'm now on to my second notebook for LoF, and I might even have to get a third.

In another ask, startupkat asked me this:

And I shared a little about my outline process there, but I'll try to go into a little more depth here. Emphasis on little because this is so long.

I write a truly insane amount of outlines in this notebook.

This is just what I can show you, but a good chunk of the notebook is just outlines. Over and over and over again. That's because they're always changing/adapting based on so many different factors. Sometimes I get to a chapter I thought I had fully planned out and then realize it just doesn't work anymore. Other times, I get to the chapter and realize I don't want to write that anymore/isn't as interesting as I thought it would be. A few times I got halfway through a POV of a scene I was struggling on and decided to switch POV's, which will change up the outline for a chapter every now and then.

Which is why I don't write incredibly detailed outlines and try to keep it vague until I actually get to that chapter. It's a lot less daunting to rewrite a chapter outline than it is to rewrite the entire outline.

Fic outlines and Chapter outlines look a lot alike.

This is what I said in the other ask, but I didn't elaborate on it all the way.

I make a list just like that, and then I try to put it in chronological order/in an order that makes sense. I keep the Fic outline vague by writing down "Goals" for a chapter rather than scenes. But I also keep notes to myself if I really think something is important. The more important I think a scene needs to be, the more details I write down to make sure my future self recalls what I had in mind when I thought it up.

Really simple example:

Chap 1 Goal: Peter gets to Gotham and meets Babs while running around. Meet Nightwing too? Get shelter.

Chapter 2 Goal: Bats are like "???" about Peter. Batfam dynamic important... Peter stalking Batfam back? Peter meet Batman >:)

When I get to a chapter, that's when I make a far more detailed list of wants/needs/goals. It's the Step 2 from the Step 1. Here are some examples from Chapter 5:

Needed to have:

More POV's from universe 1299 (Peter's home universe)

Tony's POV more specifically, how he's doing/feeling, what he's figured out

What they've figured out on 1299 side vs what's going on in 1300 (Gotham)

Explaining more about Peter's trauma/his past

Dick learning more about Peter, and vise versa

Wanted to have:

Ned being a more central character

Natasha :)

Loki being a little shit

Tony and Cap bickering

Peter talking to Nightwing again

The last name Grayson

Gymnastics!!

(This is the shortened list, because the chapters are so long)

When I looked at this list before writing my outline, I had to figure out how I could incorporate everything. If I needed more 1299 POV's, and I wanted Ned, Natasha, and Loki, there's one scene accounted for. I had to get their side of things and wanted that trio together. I needed a Tony POV, and I wanted Tony and Cap bickering, so those went together, plus I got 1299's POV of Ohnn and his plans explained.

I needed to have Peter explaining more about his trauma, and Dick and Peter to talk/get closer. I wanted a Nightwing POV, to have Peter say his last name, and them doing gymnastics. I knew Peter wouldn't willingly talk about that, so I had him have a nightmare. Not only did it give readers perspective but it made Peter more susceptible to talking to Nightwing because he was more emotionally vulnerable/lonely, and that's how that scene came together.

That's when I would write down the chronological order of these events by writing out "Scene Blocks." (This is what I wrote down but my handwriting was so bad I can't subject y'all to it):

scene 1- Ned talking to Loki. Natasha should be nearby and observing Loki's behavior. They are not on friendly terms. Ned is more worried about Peter than he is as to what Loki could be up to, so Natasha takes on that role.

scene 2- Tony is freaking out about Peter being in an alt dimension. He should attack Ohnn when he's not prepared for it. Beat his ass? Beat his ass. Cap there too.

scene 3- Peter's nightmare. "Ben, where do you go when you die?" "Where do you think?" "With you. Where you went."

scene 4- Nightwing and Peter.

Of course, things come to attention when writing. Like originally, Tony and Cap were arguing in the Tower. But it was a little too much like his and Natasha's argument, and I kept in mind that Tony is smart. Sometimes I forget that the characters are smarter than I am, so I have to account for what they would figure out. So Tony would have picked up the puzzle pieces and come to more conclusions than I originally thought about, and I figured he'd be way more proactive about it than just. Being in the Tower and waiting.

Which means that that scene ended up being as listed above: having a squabble with Cap, learning more about Peter's dynamic with the Avengers in this universe, and seeing how Tony is reacting to it by throwing himself head first into trying to capture Ohnn.

I'll realize I need something else to be mentioned or put in and I'll have to shimmy things around, but that's basically how it goes.

As for other forms of organization:

Keeping a timeline is so important because it tells you a lot about the environment your characters are in. It's also important to remember what a character has on them, what money they've spent, who they've met/who you have mentioned, every alias that is being used, to read your work and write down edits you want to make before you make them, to write down ideas beforehand of situations you can use, and, most importantly: MAKE A MAP!! This has saved me so many times. Sometimes your brain WILL trick you or make it harder on you to envision a scene. Make a map of where your characters are physically!! It will save you too!!

As for foreshadowing and plot points, I'll let you in on yet another secret:

Your subconscious is doing a lot more than you think it is.

Sometimes when I foreshadow something, I didn't even know I was until I got to it. I very often go back to read chapters that came before this to see what I've mentioned and what I haven't, and when I do, I'll see something and go "I have to bring this back" or "I almost forgot about that!"

Other times, I am very aware of what I'm foreshadowing, and that's because I follow a mystery plot formula. You have to keep in mind everyone's intentions, all the time. How are they feeling? What are their motivations? And: what are they doing right now, while this character is doing this?

Like Beck and Ohnn. From the very beginning, I knew I had to make sure that it was obvious Ohnn wasn't working alone. From there, I had to weave through the story and slowly build him up as someone who's working behind the scenes. Even from Ned's first POV, I made sure to mention that this person knows Tony and is tech savvy.

My biggest tip is to make sure you reread your work or at least skip through it, because sometimes you don't even know that you placed something there.

And sometimes, it's very purposeful. :)

I hope this helped! I really tried to keep it short but I am insane and the process is sooooo long. It sounds complicated but it really is simple when you're actually doing it I swear

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weallluvnilou · 2 days

Text

.•°..BATHING.. °•.

diluc x fem!reader

—-

MINORS DNI! 🔞

—-

(smut)

It was a VERY, long day before you got home. When you originally started the day, you didn’t expect this much pain in your body from all the commissions the Knights of Favonius, gosh, now you feel like Jean.

As you slumped your way to you and your husbands shared bedroom, you somehow still managed to take off your clothes and prepare yourself for a bathe. You brushed out your hair, got clothes prepared and set them out, set up bubbles, etc. You turned on the hot water, not expecting much but waiting patiently for it to fill 75% of the tub until you hear heavy walking come through the doors. Knowing who it was, you were happy Diluc finally came home.

You missed him and not only that you were hopping he’d join you tonight. The water is finally at the top to your liking and you hear Adeline come by to check up on you and bring you towels, also alerting your husband you’re also home and settling in. She soon told you he’s coming by to check on you. You wait a while and finally hear him knocking on the door, “May I come in?” He asks before you hum your response loudly enough to where he can hear. He walks in through the door, first thing seeing is you in the tub waiting for him. He takes off his jacket and clothes, while putting them aside on the counter to his right. “Long day?” You asked. “Per usual. You yourself look rough.” He chuckles, not meaning that in anyway other than as a joke. He finally walks over to the tub and you move aside, waiting for him to step in. He moved right beside you as he kisses your temple with longing eyes. “I missed you.” You stare before responding “I missed you more.” You say teasingly before laying your head down on this shoulder. “Sit up, let me help you.” He says as he grabs the soap and puts some in his hands. He starts off with your upper torso, so good at the way he massages your longing areas that are in pain. He goes down to your chest, and under your breasts, making sure he can get every place he can to clean. “I can do it myself, you know.” You say while he moved down to your stomach and sides. “I know you’re capable of doing it, but I could tell you felt miserable. Let me help you.” Flushed by the way he moved closer, you only groan slightly by the way he looks at you. Moments later he’s done with your sides and moves to your thighs and ass, looking up at you for your approval. You nod and ask “Do you want me to do you aswell?” You wait for an answer and he responds with “It’s only fair right?” He teases. You needed this, you needed to feel his hands on you after a long day. Your core was aching for him as he goes further along with cleaning out. “Be patient, I’m almost done.” He says, as you’re overstimulated. “Please, Diluc.” You say, out of breath from the way he makes you feel massaging your muscles. “I need you, please.” He stares at you with his God awful handsome face, and says “Tell me what you need.” Him. You need him. “I need you to touch me, please. I want you.” You groan when he moves away and motions you to sit on his lap. You do as he places his hands on your waist, your back facing him, before he whispers in your ear “Tell me where you want me to touch you.” He says while his voice travels down your neck and sends shiver down your spine, causing you to jerk up slightly. “My pussy, please, I want your fingers inside me.” You moan while you’re aching in pain, thinking it was from today’s work, but instead your need for him. He drags his fingers down to your core, circling his fingers in a motion around your throbbing clit and folds. You moan loudly as he also kisses your neck and leaves soft marks that you can cover up easily, while continuing his pace. “Diluc-, please. Faster.” You manage to say as he slips two fingers in your tight hole. Moaning loudly, you feel his hard cock twitch against your near core. He fastens his pace, thursting into your hole each second while you moan his name. “D-.” “Be patient.” He says again, cutting you off, but now in a low raspy voice that sets you off even more.

Due to his movement, his voice, the way he held you, you finally came on his fingers. Feeling relieved of your arrival. He brings his fingers up to his lips, tasting your cum in his mouth. You’re still needy for him, waiting for him to express a response. “Turn around, I’m not done.” You do as he says, he slightly picks you up but your ass, “Fuck, Diluc.” You groan, “I know my love, I know. Let me take care of you.” He says while you allow him to guide you down on his hard cock. Your eyes roll back as you head gods up, he feels so fucking good. You slightly bounce yourself on his hard member, taking it in every time. “Look at me.” You look at him as he also slightly thrusts into your pussy, playing with your clit in the making. “You feel so good.” He says fastening his pace, while you burry your head in his neck letting him take control. You groan as you hold on to him, moving your hips with his as you moan against his neck. “I’m so close, Diluc.” You moan loudly as he goes even faster on you. Teasing you by playing with your tits, leading you close to your arrival. You’re now biting into his neck because of how painful, but pleasurable this sensation is. The sweat on him is making his hair stick to you as you finally cum on his cock as he’s still going. You move your hips even faster to help him reach this arrival, arching your back due to his movement. You finally feel his seed burst into you when you hear his last bits of groans turn louder as you continue and move back and forth. “You- You took me so well, ____.” He says, out of breath. You chuckle as he picks up your chin to look at him. He kisses your lips, your temple, your cheeks, everywhere he could love. You and him still stay in the tub for a while, help washing the suds of you and him when finally you’re both clean and ready for bed. Picking you up, after you’re done dressing, you say “You didn’t have to carry me.” You laugh a bit before he says

“Not after that, you could.”

—-

AHHH FIRST POST LMAO

This was weird to post bc I felt my diluc was out of character (he def was.) BUT this was a quick post and I hope you liked it <3!.

#diluc ragnvindr #diluc x reader #genshin diluc #diluc x you #diluc smut #diluc x reader smut #diluc ragnvindr x reader #genshin smut #genshin impact #genshin x reader

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felinecyan · 2 days

Text

Turned Tables

[Toshinori Yagi x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: Although being with All Might meant you’d have to be saved twice as much as a regular civilian, it didn’t mean he was completely invincible. Sometimes, he also needed saving, and sometimes, you were the only one able to do it.

WC: 1859

Category: Mega Fluff

My beloved 🥹🥹

『••✎••』

If your future self told you that your life would be filled with the most bizarre, unpredictable situations and involved with the number one hero in all of Japan, would you believe it? Absolutely not.

If you had asked your younger self what she imagined her future to be, you could never have come up with something so ridiculous. The mere thought of All Might being your soulmate would have sent you into hysterics.

But that was then.

And this is now.

You weren't sure how it had happened, and you called it cliche, but you swore it had been a twist of fate that had brought the two of you together. I mean, he saved thousands of people on a daily basis. There was no reason he should have paid attention to you.

He was just doing his job.

It was only chance that the villain that had been terrorizing your neighborhood had targeted you. It was luck that All Might had just happened to be passing through when you found yourself staring down the barrel of a gun.

In the end, you were unharmed.

All Might had arrived just in time, disarming the villain and delivering him to the proper authorities.

You had thanked him, of course. Maybe it was your calm nature or perhaps the fact that you had remained surprisingly unshaken during the encounter. But somehow, fate decided that the two of you were perfect for each other.

The second All Might had turned his back to you and begun to walk away, he froze. It was as if the air had suddenly gone stale. All Might felt an overwhelming presence behind him and a voice that seemed to be calling out to him. He hadn't even known that you had followed after him.

He spun around quickly, and the next thing he knew, his vision went white.

When the world came back into focus, he saw you standing there. You were looking up at him with an expression he couldn't quite understand. Then you smiled.

It was like he had been blinded.

And don’t worry, you were the same way.

Your life was a whirlwind of activity after that.

You had learned his true form, not that it mattered much. Toshinori Yagi, or All Might, was still the same man you had fallen for. He was sweet, funny, kind, and everything you could ever ask for in a soulmate.

He did tend to be loud at times, accidentally yelling when he was nervous, and sometimes the volume of his laughter was a little too much, but those were the small things.

You were sure the press would have had a field day with your story. After all, not many people got the chance to date All Might.

It had taken you a while to get used to the sudden increase in popularity. It had gotten so bad at one point that the two of you had resorted to disguises when going out on dates.

Of course, his disguise choices were less than ideal.

You had laughed when you saw the first wig and mustache; it was such a poor attempt at blending in. But you had to admit, his smile had never looked so good.

There was one thing, though. Something you both dreaded and knew was inevitable.

The villains.

All the popularity and attention was a two-way street. You had gained fans, but you had also drawn the attention of his enemies. Most of the time, you could brush it off as if you were some overzealous fan trying to get close to All Might. But every now and again, a villain would come looking for trouble.

Those were the days you worried.

It was a constant concern that plagued both of you.

What if he couldn’t make it in time? What if something happened to him? What would happen to you?

These thoughts always manage to find their way into your mind. Nightmares mostly. The thought of him not making it in time to save you was what you feared the most.

It was a terrifying thought, but that’s what it was. Just a thought. Because he was always there.

Every. Single. Time.

It really made you realize why he was picked to be the symbol of peace. He was the number-one hero for a reason.

Him saving himself, though? Yeah… that was a little harder.

He could handle civilian savings. He could handle villains, and he could handle the regular fans. But the fangirls? That was something else entirely.

One of the things he had never quite gotten used to was their obsessive behavior. They could be rather scary at times. And they were always a bit too… forward with their advances.

Most of the time, it was fine. He was polite and would smile and wave at them, as a hero does. Occasionally, though, he would get cornered.

And today was one of those days.

It had been a busy morning, as usual. There had been a bank robbery, followed by a mugging and an attempted kidnapping.

All in all, just another typical day.

Now, he was making his way back home through the streets of Musutafu. He was looking forward to relaxing, maybe having a nice bath and a nap.

He could use a break.

But just as he was beginning to think he might make it back home without incident, a group of girls spotted him.

"It's All Might!"

He knew what was coming next. He didn't have time for this.

"Please excuse me, ladies," he called out to them. "Duty calls."

But his attempts were in vain.

They weren't having it. He thought he was super speedy, but apparently, he had met his match.

The next thing he knew, a mob had formed, and he found himself surrounded by a bunch of overly excited teenage girls.

"Oh my god! It's really him!"

"He's so handsome in person."

"Can we have your autograph?"

"Hey! Hey, All Might!"

He had barely gotten the chance to say anything.

"Yes, well-" he was cut off before he could continue.

"Can I feel your muscles, please, All Might? Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"I'm sorry, but-"

"My sister would be so jealous if she saw me hanging out with you. She loves you, y'know. Can I have a hug?"

He was overwhelmed.

He felt his patience waning. The more they pressed, the further his smile became.

"If you would just-"

He tried again. Useless.

"Hey, hey, All Might! Can I touch your hair? It's so big. It must be soft."

He was completely and utterly stuck. Every second that goes by was a second too long. More girls kept showing up.

It was a nightmare.

"I'm very sorry, but I have somewhere to be."

He could barely get a word out, and he was too exhausted even to move.

"Oh my god, are you blushing, All Might?"

He wasn't. But his smile was becoming increasingly strained. God, they were persistent.

Then, like a light shining from above, he heard it. His savior's voice.

"There you are," you said as you made your way through the crowd.

You pushed your way to the front and placed your hands on your hips. You looked absolutely annoyed.

"What did I tell you about wandering off? We're supposed to meet my parents in half an hour. Do you want to be late? You know how my mom gets."

His eyes went wide, and he let out a nervous laugh. That was a complete lie on your part; your parents weren't exactly expecting you anytime soon, but they didn’t need to know that.

"Right. Right, of course, my love," he said.

He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer. It was amazing how you could find him in a crowd so easily.

He was a good head and shoulders taller than everyone around. His hair made him stand out. And, of course, his booming laughter was always a dead giveaway. But, still, he was amazed at your speed. Sometimes, it feels as though you have a secret radar that lets you know when he's having lady trouble.

You leaned into his embrace, and his strained smile relaxed.

"You’re so good to me," he whispered.

He planted a kiss on your temple. Then, a mischievous grin formed.

"Sorry, ladies, but I have a prior engagement," he said. "Maybe next time."

Since your glare was fixed on every girl that was surrounding you, they finally took in his words and backed away.

"Oh, okay. Yeah, of course," one of them said.

"I can't believe I just met him. I can't wait to tell my sister," another said.

"That was so awesome."

"See you later, All Might."

"Goodbye."

They scattered like a bunch of cockroaches, leaving the two of you alone.

The moment they were gone, All Might's demeanor changed. He let out a sigh of relief and pulled you into a proper hug.

"How do you do it? It’s been decades, and I still can't escape the fangirls."

You chuckled and wrapped your arms around him.

"They're persistent; I'll give them that," you said.

He was tired, so you were careful when pulling away. You were sure his exhaustion was due to his hidden condition.

"We should probably get home," you suggested. "You could use a break… and a nap."

"Sounds perfect," he said.

You were just about to start heading home when you stopped. Something about the look on his face made you think.

"Is everything okay, my love?" he asked.

He tilted his head slightly, his brows furrowed in confusion. You could only smile.

"Y'know, you never did answer her question," you said.

"Huh?"

"You know, about the hair. Is it as soft as it looks? Because I've always wondered that myself. I’m always too short to reach."

Laughter flooded the air as he rolled his eyes and shook his head. The smile returned, full force.

"You’ve felt my hair before, darling; it’s all you ever do."

"Yeah, well, I was distracted."

"Distracted, huh?"

"Extremely."

"Well, here," he said. "Feel to your heart's content."

He leaned down so that you could run your fingers through his golden locks. And just as that one girl had guessed, it was incredibly soft.

“I could never grow hair this nice, no matter how hard I try," you mumbled.

"It's a burden, but someone's gotta bear it."

He stood upright and looked down at you, a smile gracing his features.

"Alright," he said. "Shall we go now?"

"Just one second."

"Huh?"

He raised a brow in confusion. But you didn't answer him. Instead, you grabbed the collar of his suit and pulled him down to your level. Close enough, at least.

"Wha-"

You stopped him, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. It caught him off guard, but it didn't take long for him to reciprocate.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you slightly. This allowed you to reach his cheek. He was still smiling when you pulled away.

"Now," your voice was on the verge of a whisper.

"Now, we can go."

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curiositydooropened · 1 day

Text

Ranged • 02: Home

Finally, a day off. You're prepping for your best friend's barbecue when your partner starts pounding on your front door with news that brings you unease.

Pairing: special agent!Steve Harrington x special agent!Reader

Wordcount: 5074

Warnings: very slowburn, this fic is episodic, coworkers to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort, canon-typical violence, canon-typical gore, weapons, fighting, murder, viruses, decay, monsters *This chapter contains mentions of death, cremation, scars, autopsies, etc.

This blog is 18+ only. I do not give permission for any of my fics to be duplicated, reposted, or put into AI. Thank you!

Navigation • Fic Masterlist

---

Moodboard • 01: Firetower • 03: Bayou [Coming soon]

The pounding at your door nearly startled the wrapped gift from your hand.

“Be right there!” You shouted and carefully tucked the card beneath crossed ribbon.

With a huff, you made your way to the door. It was a challenge nowadays, hobbling on one foot, bracing yourself on the back of your couch and the buffet near the front door. The staircase was by-far the worst of it, especially when you were still on crutches.

The pounding continued, a bit incessant and impatient, and you groaned. “Hold on! I’m in a boot!”

The little cover over your peephole swung beneath your fingertips, and you strained to see your partner. His broad shoulders took up most of the frame, and his hair wagged as he checked both sides of your hallway.

You unlocked the deadbolt and inched the door open. “Steve?”

“Les Joplin is dead.” Worry creased his brow.

You sighed and hobbled aside to let him in. Owens had called you with the bad news this morning. It was just a part of the gig. You can’t save everyone. You noticed Steve took these things harder than you’d been trained to.

Steve barreled past you, and until you saw the look of curiosity cross his features, you’d forgotten he’d never been to your apartment before. Suddenly, you felt self-conscious about the lace trimmed window treatments your mom had set up and the Pig-shaped cookie jar on the countertop. His fingertips grazed the couch upholstery and he took in your massive entertainment shelves before turning to size you up.

“I’m sorry, were you going somewhere?”

You tugged your cardigan a little closer, hem of your dress brushing your knee over your hideous boot. “It is our day off.”

He nodded, and you took a moment to survey his own outfit. An oversized sweater was emblazoned with red, white, and blue embroidery. Navy blue shorts barely covered the breadth of his hairy thighs. The way his hair stuck to his temples denoted he’d been out on a Sunday morning jog.

“How’d you find out about Les?” You asked, hobbling back to the kitchen to pour him a glass of water.

Steve met you there, tutting about your bum leg as he reached over your head for a glass from the cabinet to fill for himself. “Owens left me a voicemail.”

You watched the steady rise and fall of his Adam’s apple as he drank. A droplet fell from the corner of his lips and slid down the length of his jaw until he reached to wipe it up.

“Joplin makes six in six months.” He frowned, turning the faucet on to rinse.

You frowned, nodded. It was true, nearly all of the people you’d managed to life-flight out of Hell seemed to have died through some infection or surgical complications.

“Joplin had a broken leg.” Steve tapped at your boot with his toe. “You’re still alive.”

You rolled your eyes. “He’d also been exposed to the elements for two days before we reached him. Vines had wrapped themselves around him. He could have been infected with the Blight and we just didn’t know.”

“He was coherent!” Steve argued, running a hand through his hair. “You don’t find any of this fishy?”

The vulnerability in his gaze was rare, a softness that kicked something up within you, reminded you that this grumpy exterior cared and had compassion.

You chewed on your bottom lip and shrugged. “What do you want to do about it?”

His shoulders seem to relax a little, and he leaned against your counter, crossing his ankles over one another. “I have someone looking into the autopsy of the Garcia brothers.”

You swallowed, remembering the smiling faces of the two boys as they held each other’s hand in the back of the ambulance. They’d died hours after pick-up. You shook your head. “They were cremated, remember? We can’t exhume any bodies.”

Steve nodded. “I know. They’ve all been cremated. Les is being torched as we speak.”

“Steve,” you groaned at his crudity, imaging the frail man with kind eyes being locked in an incinerator.

“Like I said, someone’s looking into it. I’m meeting them tonight.”

You broached your next question with caution. “Have you… spoken to Owens about this?”

Steve watched you, like a caged animal deciding whether or not it could trust the hand that feeds it.

You understood the roots of his mistrust. You barely knew what he’d gone through, how complicated his tangles were with these government entities, but what little you did know seemed reason enough to question everything.

He cleared his throat, shook his head. “No, I want to have more solid evidence before I bring it to his attention.”

You nodded and opened your mouth to commend him when the antique cuckoo clock on your wall chimed 11. “Shit!”

Steve leapt back onto his feet, just as startled as you, and he side-stepped you as you grappled for the gift and wine bottle on the counter behind him.

“Steve, I’m so sorry, but I’m late.” You said as you hobbled to your denim jacket and purse hanging near the front door.

“You’re not driving, right?” He frowned.

You cursed again, reaching into your purse to procure your cell phone.

“Who are you calling?”

“A cab,” you argued, shoving him out your door with full hands. The phone rang, wedged between your cheek and shoulder, and you fumbled in your bag for some keys. “Hold these,” you dumped the gifts into his outstretched hands.

“Hang up. I’ll drive you.” He sighed.

“Capital Cab Company, how can we help you today?”

“What?” You struggled with the key in the lock, and gaped at your partner when he gently removed your phone from your ear and ended the call.

“Let me drive you.”

—

A jagged scar sliced through toned and tanned thigh meat, deep, purple, fresh enough to thrust you back into that cold cave. You taste his blood in the air, feel his pulse slow against your chest.

“So at what point were you going to tell me your partner was this scrumptious?” Your childhood best friend’s voice shook you back to reality.

Steve stood about a hundred feet away, thighs at eye-level and on-show in those tiny running shorts. His white tube socks were stained with flecks of mud and grass. He hugged one hand into his armpit, the other held a beer he’d barely drank since you all stepped into the backyard an hour earlier.

“Or was that confidential information?” Sadie snickered, poking at your side.

You shushed her with a waved hand, trying not to let her see the way you warmed at the idea. You leaned forward in your lawn chair for another handful of potato chips from the card table teetering in front of you. “He is not… scrumptious.”

Steve Harrington wasn’t a hunk. You’d seen him with toothpaste stuck to the corner of his mouth and dribbled down his sleep shirt. You watched him trip over his own shoelaces once.

Sure, he took great care of his body. It was kind of in the job description. Neither of you could climb mountains or fight monsters if you’d let yourself go. And yeah, he possessed handsome features. He had a nice hairline and thick, full hair, rare for a man his age. The handful of times you’d seen his stubble grow in hadn’t made him look haggard.

You could admit there was a kindness in his eyes too, saved for incredibly special occasions.

“I honestly don’t know how you get any work done,” Michelle agreed, pouring herself another glass from the wine bottle you’d brought.

“I’d be taking every opportunity to climb him like a tree.” Tammie played with the pendant on her necklace, perched on her chair like she was waiting for him to look her direction.

You coughed, salty chip wedged somewhere in your esophagus.

Sadie saw your struggle and laughed, slipping your wine glass into a salty hand for relief.

“So tell us,” Rhonda leaned in, covering her mouth with her hand, “have you two ever…?” She waggled her eyebrows.

You sputtered wine back into your glass, and Sadie threw her head back in delight.

You wiped the dribble from your chin and glared at your best friend. “Is this why you invited him in? So you and the girls could torment me?”

“Oh Pigeon, don’t be so dramatic,” Sadie pinched the flab under your arm and grinned. “I invited him in because I wanted to stare at those thighs. Think he’ll play volleyball if we put the net up?”

“Your husband is right there.” You gestured to poor, sweet Jeff, receding hairline and beer gut stretching his cotton polo. He drank his beer and flipped burgers and stared at Steve like he was just at smitten as his wife.

“He can join,” Sadie shrugged.

This sent the other women in a fit of giggles and hoots.

Steve met your gaze. Someone behind you must have waggled their fingers, because the corners of his lips quirked into a confused smile, and he extended a timid wave.

You chewed on your cheeks to avoid laughing with them.

“I know we’ve been talking about those legs, but have you seen the size of his hands?” Tammie whispered into her wine glass.

“Oh I know, I’d like him to - “

“Alright,” you hoisted yourself from your lawn chair and hobbled away from the cackling women. The grass wasn’t ideal for your wobbly boot, but anywhere was better than the warmth radiating from your collar and the call of your best friend for you to return.

Halfway across the yard, you stumbled on a rogue gopher hole, wine splashing from your glass and all over the front of the man who was conveniently there to catch you. Two large hands held you upright at your ribs.

“Why is it difficult for you to just sit and stay there?” Steve asked, chin and throat glistening with white wine. It soaked the top half of his sweatshirt.

Before you could apologize, the crew was on you, a flurry of mom’s pinching and doting, patting you both with paper towels.

Steve waved them off so he could limp you back to your seat, pointing a warning finger your direction. “Stay there.”

“Steve, honey, let me throw that in the wash for you. I’m sure Jeff has something you can borrow.” Sadie shot you a salacious look before beckoning your partner in through the sliding glass door at the back of her house.

“Think they need help?” Rhonda snorted, and the rest of them started to holler again.

—

A summer thunderstorm forced the party indoors. Husbands toted drunk wives out the front door. The kids were hauled into the basement with popsicles and VHS rentals. Only a handful of party-goers remained, indulging in quiet conversation around Sadie’s immaculately floral living room. Her favorite record spun in the corner.

“I’m worried about you, Pigeon,” she tapped at your knee above your boot and offered a glass of water.

You accepted it and shrugged. “Hazards of the job. I survived, didn’t I?” You kneed her back.

She glanced around the room before she lowered her voice. “When Steve changed earlier, I saw those… scars. What exactly are you two fighting out there?” Her eyes were wide, full of worry, of fear.

You felt it, too, sometimes. You thought about her a lot, about a life in a perfect suburban home with a picket fence. You wondered if you’d ever achieve that, too.

“Steve went through a lot before we recruited him.” It was the only explanation you could manage.

You glanced at your partner. He stood in the kitchen, arms crossed over a too-small polo of Jeff’s in a horrid khaki green that still, somehow suited him. You wondered if he’d ever wanted the American Dream. You could imagine him hunched beneath a kitchen sink or flipping burgers outside. You could imagine him coming home after a long day’s work, dumping his briefcase in the hall closet, smelling the air for a home-cooked dinner. You imagined kids and a dog running to greet him.

“I just need you to be careful,” Sadie warned.

You blinked back into focus, and turned to see the look in her eye had changed.

She nodded toward the kitchen, a knowing smirk playing at full lips.

“Sadie, thank you so much for inviting me. Are you sure it’s alright if Wyatt stays here tonight?” A voice from behind you pulled your best friend from her seat on the couch.

“Michelle, of course! Wyatt’s welcome anytime. Just call if you can’t pick him up tomorrow, I’ll have Jeff drive him home.” Sadie kissed her acquaintance on the cheek, bangles on her wrists jingling.

Michelle said your name, reaching out to squeeze your shoulder. “It was really good to see you again.”

“Yeah,” you smiled. “You, too.”

She turned from you both and took a few steps before pausing and turning back to face you. “Okay, I know this is going to sound a bit… I dunno.” She waved off her words, insecurity oozing from a typically-poised frame.

Michelle was such a sweet woman, confident, beautiful. She worked with Jeff in radio advertising. She was a single mom. You’d never seen a hair of hers out of place, nor a pearled button.

You glanced at Sadie, whose demeanor had gone rigid beside you.

“I just um… is there anything going on between you and Steve?”

You blinked back at her, your mouth going a little dry.

“I only ask because he and I had a really nice conversation earlier, and I wanted to give him my number, but I obviously would never step on your toes. I think the world of you. Also like, if it’d be weird at all, that’s totally understandable.” She was rambling now, her pale features tinged a bright red.

Sadie was holding her breath beside you.

You blinked a few more times, processing the word vomit, and eventually your head shook itself. “No. Nope, no, huh uh. No. Um… no.” For God sake, anything else, say anything else.

Sadie elbowed you.

You laughed. “Sorry, just um… Steve? Harrington?”

Michelle ducked her head and smiled, tucking a black curl behind her ear. “Yeah. Is that okay?”

“Chyeah, of course it is. That’s great, Michelle! That’s really great! I’ll put in a good word for you.” The words came out of you like they were flowing from someone else’s mouth. You felt paralyzed in your seat. Sadie’s claws were digging into the meat of your thigh.

“Oh really? Oh that’d be amazing. Thanks so much. Well, wish me luck, I guess, then…” She let out a little eep like a school girl and waggled her fingers your direction before she turned to make a b-line to the kitchen.

“You’ll put in a good word?”

“Shut up,” you hissed, smacking your friend’s hand away.

Steve stood up straight at Michelle’s approach, that stiff kindness meeting his eyes. He struck you a bit like Frankenstein’s monster, a man learning to be human again, movements stilted and face stuck in a scowl.

Michelle took something from her purse and placed it into his large hand, her own fingers lingering softly against his.

His throat turned a bit pink, and his ears, and it looked like he was fighting off a smile like it might hurt him. He nodded and said something back, and they ended their exchange with an awkward half-hug. Her curls caught on the bridge of his nose, his lashes. He met your gaze from across the room.

Then he jumped, apologized as the distinct bell of his cell phone chimed in his pocket.

Michelle left with one last excited wave to you girls, but you were already snapping your fingers for Sadie to grab you your purse from the coffee table.

You dug for your phone, but by the time you flipped it open and dialed into voicemail, Steve was walking your direction.

“Sadie, mind if I grab my sweatshirt?” He shot you a look and said, “We have to go.”

—

The rain thunked heavy on Steve’s windshield, wipers pulsing at a steady rhythm. The warmth of a far-off streetlamp cast reds and yellows across his silhouette and splashed across a bare kneecap.

You sat in a park parking lot. A swing set swayed in the wind a hundred or so yards to your left. A large hill jetted upwards at your center. Trees scattered the area.

Steve’s car idled. The heater puffed warmth that smelled of leather and him, and the faintest sweet of white wine that Sadie’s natural detergent hadn’t managed to squeeze out of his sweatshirt.

“Where are we?” You asked, glancing around the empty lot.

The sun had dipped west an hour ago, just as you reversed out of Sadie’s driveway beside Jeff’s station wagon.

“I don’t know,” Steve grumbled. His leg bounced, shaking the entire car with nervous energy.

You had half a mind to slow his movements, the heat and the sway churning your motion-sick stomach, but the idea of clamping down on his muscled and hairy thigh had you thinking of the girls at the barbecue. You imagined each of them in the backseat of his car, oohing and chanting for you to quit being a baby and just do it.

So you sucked your cheeks between your teeth and stared directly ahead at the beading water on the windshield.

“So…” You breathed. “What did you think of Michelle?”

“Who?” Steve stopped his quake.

You sighed and looked back at him. “Michelle, from the party? Black hair, freckles, drop-dead gorgeous. She gave you her number at the end of the night?”

“Oh right,” he said, like that was the only indication he’d met this woman.

You blinked back at him, waiting for more elaboration. You should have known better. With another deep breath, you pushed a little further. “She wanted me to put in a good word.”

“Okay,” and now he waited expectedly.

“What?” You frowned.

“Tell me something good about her.”

For the life of you, all you could muster was, “She’s a really good mom?”

Steve snorted, though his expression remained unamused. “Great, I’ll ask her to cut the crust off my sandwiches.”

“No, that’s not…” You huffed, adjusting your sweating back against the leather seat. You grumbled and flicked off the heat, suddenly feeling the space around you void of air.

You sat in silence for a moment, trying to organize your thoughts, frustrated that the only image coming to mind was Michelle’s perfectly manicured nails clinging to Jeff’s polo collar. Steve’s hands held her close, sliding down to the seat of her jeans.

Steve cleared his throat, and you blinked back to reality.

“I’m sure I can think of nicer things to say,” you managed to squeak out.

“I’m not going to date Michelle,” Steve spoke low and slow beside you, his voice warming you more than the heater had.

You glanced up at him, strong jaw and defined nose cut through warm lamplight. You pondered his tone, wondered how final it had felt, how far you could press. Maybe it’d be best to leave it there.

“This job doesn’t lend well to… a life.” His voice startled you again, information given before it was asked.

You didn’t dare respond, lips sealed, breath held.

He scratched at the stubble overgrown on his chin. “Doesn’t feel fair to get someone’s hopes up when I could be killed the next day.”

His name fell from your lips in a sigh, and he caught you gaze, lips quirked upward in a wry smile as he waved his words from the space between you.

“That’s just me though. I’m not like… putting that on you. Date a bunch of guys, if you want! Or one guy! Or one gal. I don’t care, I just um…” He coughed into his hand.

You snorted and glanced back out the windshield at the lamplight and the rain.

A shadow moved straight ahead, emerging from the hill top, bowed shoulders and a wide-brimmed hat.

“Steve,” you nodded, reaching your hand into your bag for your concealed weapon.

He adjusted himself upright, his own hand stopping your wrist.

“Is that your guy?” You asked, heart thundering a little louder in your ear.

“I hope so,” he answered, and you both just waited.

The figure seemed to sway down the hillside, walking at too slow a pace, darting through the tree line to be covered in shadow when he could. Finally, as he stepped into the warmth of lamplight and tilted his head to expose round cheeks, Steve released your wrist and dropped his shoulders in relief.

The door creaked and the pitter of rain against the asphalt deafened you for a moment as Steve stepped out to scold the contact. Both men spoke in hushed tones, gesturing wildly to you before admitting defeat and retreating to the safety of the car’s interior. The whole vehicle shook under their combined weight, and they brought with them the sweet smell of ozone.

You eyed Steve, tendrils of his hair dripping onto scruffy cheekbones.

He grimaced and pushed his hair from his eyes, gesturing from you to the man in the seat behind him. “This is Dustin Henderson, Henderson, this is my partner.” He introduced you.

“My real name, Steve? Really?” Dustin snapped, pulling the fedora from wild curls.

Steve shrugged. “She didn’t know it was your real name until you just confirmed it, dipshit.”

Dustin rolled his eyes.

You blinked back at a the two of them. There was no family resemblance, but they bickered like siblings, and you realized this was the largest glimpse you’d gained into Steve’s private life in the year you’d known him. You knew his parents’ names, that he grew up in Indiana. You knew he was captain of the swim team. You knew he enjoyed sports. You knew he knew far too much about the movie Labyrinth. You knew his go-to sit-in diner order (a cheeseburger with no onions and a strawberry shake). But somehow this connection, with this strange young man, was the greatest insight you had into who your partner really was.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” you extended a hand.

Dustin Henderson smiled at that, a big, warm, round smile. His hand was cold and clammy from the rain, but the handshake was strong and firm. “Likewise,” he nodded. “Steve was right, you are a beautiful woman.”

“Hello? Can we talk about the autopsy reports?” Steve snapped his fingers to get you both back on track.

“Okay, Jesus Christ,” Dustin hissed like a scolded middle schooler. He reached into the inside pocket of his oversized trench coat and pulled out a few pieces of paper. He handed half the pile to Steve and half to you.

You squinted down at a handful of coroner’s reports, the names of the deceased all familiar to you. Les Joplin sat at the top of the pile. Cause of death: prolonged exposure. You swallowed and handed the paper over for Steve to read.

He shook his head. “So could you find anything?”

Dustin tapped his fingers on the bottom of the pages. “All of these autopsy’s were done by the same man. No matter what part of the country these people were in, they brought in the same guy. George Humbolt.”

You thumbed through the remaining papers to find the signature he’d indicated.

“George Humbolt no longer works for the United States government. He actually recently retired and bought a very large mansion in Key Largo. He was a very difficult man to track down, and when I called him earlier to ask him about the Garcia brothers, his phone line was disconnected.” Dustin explained through grit teeth.

You glanced up at the young man, peach fuzz barely cresting his upper lip. You wondered what got him into this life, if he’d been thrust into conspiracy theories chasing his older brother-figure. You wondered if he’d seen as many horrible things as Steve had, as you had. You hoped not. You hoped nothing would come of this snooping. You hoped he was being safe.

“Humbolt didn’t do Joplin’s,” Steve exchanged you papers again. In script, you could barely make out the name of a woman, Caroline Something. “Maybe we can track down the new person?”

“I did some digging into her too.” Dustin nodded. “Her supervisor is one Samuel Owens.”

You watched Steve’s expression shift, harden. You watched him watch you. You watched the trust fall from his eyes, wariness making his shoulders and jaw rigid.

He swallowed, nodded, folded the papers in his hands. “Well, Henderson, thanks for this, man. I think maybe it’d be wise to lay low for a little while.”

“Sure, man. You know I’m always careful though.” Dustin could sense the shift in his friend. His face seemed to screw up, too, in concern. He offered you a sad smile.

Steve nodded, solemn, and cranked the heat again. The noise from the fan cut through the tension. “Do you need a ride home? How the Hell did you get out here?”

“Walked.” Dustin sighed and folded himself back into his seat, reaching for the seat belt.

—

The rain calmed to a soft sprinkle that dotted your cheeks. Droplets caught on your eyelashes and cast stardust in your vision under streetlights and the entrance to your apartment building. You blinked them away, keys jingling at your side as you let yourself in.

Steve held the door to let you hobble past, and he followed you in quiet silence onto the elevator.

You pressed the button to your floor and relaxed into the handrail, taking some weight off your aching foot in its boot.

Dustin had made sweet small talk on his way home, asking about your life and your interests. You’d learned he was a computer programmer. He had a pet turtle, and Steve was his best friend.

When he exited the car, the two exchanged a cute handshake that Steve seemed nonplussed to reenact, despite both of them being silhouetted in the headlights.

Steve didn’t speak a word to you the rest of the way home.

“Thanks again for sticking with me at Sadie’s today. You really didn’t have to stay.” You said, voice hoarse, as you stepped off the elevator and onto your floor.

Your partner shrugged, rubbed at the back of his neck. “I had fun. Sorry about Henderson, by the way. He can be a bit…”

“Endearing? Wholesome? Adorable?” You smiled.

Steve snorted. “I was going to say obnoxious, but I’ll tell him you said that. He’ll probably buy you flowers.”

You hummed. “Flowers are nice, and so was he.”

You put your keys into your lock and twisted. Steve was warm behind you, a towering presence of protection and safety. You thought of Sadie’s warning. Be careful. Never had you doubted where you stood with Steve. Even though he’d been a stranger to you, you never felt threatened, never felt afraid.

You turned to look at him.

He swallowed, glanced down the hall. “Listen, I’m really sorry about today. Sometimes I can’t handle that I can’t save everyone, and I get a bit carried away.”

Your heart sunk, and you tilted your head to catch his gaze. His brown eyes were nervous. You shook your head. “No, you were right. Something weird is going on, and we’re going to figure it out. We can’t save everyone, but we can save someone.”

He took a few beats, searching for a falter in your certainty, searching for that trust in you, before he nodded.

A soft meow startled you apart, and your front door clicked open. Mrs. Song’s cat began rubbing his black and white butt against Steve’s ankle, purring loudly.

You both chuckled, clutching at startled chests before Steve leaned down to give the cat some much-needed pets.

Your heart pittered a little in your chest, and you found your face warming once again at the thought of Steve returning home after a long day’s work to greet his pets.

You cleared your throat and backed into your apartment, tossing your purse on the nearby hook and shrugging out of your jacket. “Well, goodnight. Thanks again for the ride.”

Steve stood up straight, all thick thighs and broad shoulders, cheeks pinched pink. He nodded. “Sure, no problem. Do you uh… do you need a ride to the office tomorrow?”

You tucked a hair behind your ear and shrugged. “Sure, um… sure, thanks.”

He nodded again. “Alright, pick you up at 7:45?”

You nodded. You felt paralyzed in this moment.

Steve stood in the precipice of your doorway, the green of your wallpaper bringing out the green in his eyes. You thought back to the teasing words of the women at the barbecue. If any of them had a man like this in their doorway, they’d invite him in, offer him a drink, do anything but stand and stare and wonder what could be, hearts racing.

He wrapped his knuckles against the doorframe and pushed off, a smile quirking at the corner of his lips. “Alright, then. Night.”

“Night.” You managed.

He stumbled a bit around the cat during his turnaround and bent to give her one last little pat.

“Steve!”

He stopped and stood back up to look at you over his shoulder.

“Don’t let the job discourage you,” you released a shaky exhale.

He frowned, confused.

“From having a life,” you explained.

Realization flooded his features, but the two of you remained rooted to the spot. You thought of Dustin and his turtle, and of Sadie and Jeff and their sweet little home. You thought of kids screaming on the trampoline. You thought of all of these things you never thought you’d have, unsure if you wanted them, unsure where Steve stood, if you’d be dragging him down, stealing his happiness by dying on the field. Maybe that’s what happened to Robin…

You cleared your throat, smiled, nodded. “You should really call Michelle. She’s a really sweet person. She’s funny. She’s very intelligent. She makes excellent brownies. Her son, Wyatt, is a really cool kid, too. I think he’s in karate.”

Steve nodded, taking another step backwards into the hallway, spell-broken. “I’ll think about it.”

“Good.” You smiled. “Night.”

“Night.”

The peephole carved a divot into your forehead once the door was closed.

---

Moodboard • 01: Firetower • 03: Bayou [Coming soon]

#stranger things fic #steve harrington fic #steve harrington angst #steve harrington coworkers to lovers #steve harrington slowburn #steve harrington #dustin henderson #ranged fic #ranged wip #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you

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critter-genfic-events · 19 hours

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This week, we have nine fics dealing with Grief or Mourning -dealing with the losses in the recent episodes of Critical Role, older losses, and imagined losses still in these character's futures. Check them out beneath the cut, and remember to comment and kudos if you like them!

divorce the first by Ink_Beneath_Her_Fingernails (3496,Not Rated) Warnings: Brief mentions of Molly's death, but it's not a focus. Pairings:

Common is the only language all of the Nein share, but it's not the first language of any of them.

Reccer says: There's such an aching sense of longing and grief and mourning in this fic that leaves you with the feeling of an old pain, almost too small to bother dealing with, not that you even could, but every day it sticks around like a rock in your shoe. It manages to slip under your defenses in a way fiction about things like death can't always do, while still touching on loss. There's also some really excellent development of worldbuilding and Wildemount here.

Proud by awaytobeunshaken (557,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast

Beau isn't sure how to feel after her father's death. Caleb tries to comfort her anyway.

Reccer says: I liked it

a white and soundless place by BeatriceEagle (7064,Teen) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death Pairings: Una Ermendrud & Caleb Widogast

A portrait of grief, from either side of the thing.

Reccer says: Una and Leofric feel like people, rather than saints.

psychopomp by hydraxx (3357,General) Warnings: Pairings: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast

Essek comes back to visit Blumenthal over the centuries after Caleb dies, while a long series of local innkeepers observe his mourning process.

Reccer says: It's a really sweet look at how Essek processes losing one of the people important to him, with background worldbuilding!

A Wisdom Without Face or Name by violettressed (17280,Teen) Warnings: major character death Pairings: Caduceus Clay & Jester Lavorre, Jester Lavorre & Essek Thelyss, Artagan & Jester Lavorre

Jester Lavorre spends a lifetime learning how to let go.

Reccer says: A great fic if you need a cry - there's little sparks of humor left by everyone being in character that make the entire thing even more heartfelt

Things to Do in Whitestone When Your Best Friend is Dead by untropicalisland (3038,General) Warnings: major character death Pairings: Ashton Greymoore & Laudna, Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III & Ashton Greymoore

Ashton tries to make sense of FCG's death while the party regroups in Whitestone following their return from Ruidus.

Reccer says: Ashton and FCG's relationship was so great, it's nice to see something that's got Ashton processing their death. And the Percy and Ashton's dynamic is pitch perfect and *chef's kiss*

Synonym for Tragedy by thetickingclock (1060,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Orym/Dorian Storm, Fearne Calloway & Orym & Dorian Storm, Dorian Storm & Cyrus Wyvernwind, Dorian Storm & Dariax Zaveon

Dorian and his brother. The music is different now.

Reccer says: Beautiful and haunting

like wildfire, it starts in my chest by ellis (ellabellachicketychella) (1523,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Dorian Storm & Cyrus Wyvernwind, Dorian Storm & Dariax Zaveon

If this is grief then the poems got it wrong-- or, i love how dorian's grief is rage so much. i wrote a little about it

Reccer says: A brilliant character study of Dorian after episode 93

To hold, to cut by thetickingclock (1665,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

A series of vignettes about the coping with grief through shared work

Reccer says: It felt true

This is one of our weekly communally-generated gen rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. Please note that the summary and content notes are provided by the reccer, and may be different than what the author has provided. Please assume good intentions all around. <3

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week, we'll be focusing on Fjord Stone! Know of something focusing on his backstory, or maybe his interior life during the campaign, that orphanage heist that happened after? You should rec it!

After that, we'll be changing things up a bit. Mentorship will be happening on the 15th, but after that, we're going to switch to a twice a month schedule - starting with Scanlan.

Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!

Oh! Also! Critter Gen Week is happening! We've been using the themes for our reclist - so if you're inspired by what you're reading, consider writing (or making art) for that week!

#critical role #critter genfic rec lists #gen fic #the mighty nein #bells hells #The Crownkeepers #Jester Lavorre #Caduceus Clay #Essek Thelyss #Dorian Storm #cyrus wyvernwind #Orym of the Air Ashari #dariax zaveon #Fearne Calloway #ashton greymoore #percy de rolo #Laudna CR #Una Ermendrud #beauregard lionett

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hyperlexichypatia · 1 day

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"Universal housing won't work, because some homeless people want to be homeless! They don't want to be confined inside walls!"

Okay, suppose that's true. If every person were allocated their own house/apartment/unit, they wouldn't necessarily have to stay there. If they're more comfortable in the great outdoors, they could still sleep outside, hang out outside, spend their time outside. But they would still have a housing unit of their own, in case they wanted it. They could stay there occasionally, maybe when the weather was bad. They could take a shower there, receive mail there, have family and friends over there. Even if they chose not to use it as most housed people use our homes, they would still benefit from having it.

All of this, of course, is beside the point that the overwhelming majority of unhoused people do, in fact, want housing, and even the people who supposedly "turn down housing" or "don't want housing" are actually turning down the intense social control they're supposed to submit to in exchange for housing. There's a world of difference between "I'd rather sleep outside than live in a prison where I'm denied basic human rights and dignity" and "I actively like sleeping outside."

"But sometimes people in subsidized housing leave behind messes of blood and vomit and feces!"

Yes. Humans are animals, made of flesh and bone and gooey bits. Animals have gross bodily functions. We bleed and vomit and pee and poop. All of us do those things.

Sometimes, people -- especially poor people, who may have gone years without basic healthcare, or even decent food or hygiene -- have health issues or disabilities that prevent them from things like making it to the toilet in time, or cleaning up after themselves. Sometimes assigned housing for poor people is badly maintained, and may not even have things like a working flush toilet.

So yes, people have gross bodily functions, and some people -- especially if poor and/or sick and/or disabled -- may not have the ability or resources to deal with that issue in a hygienic way.

So what, exactly, is your solution?

Because my solution is to make sure that everyone has housing with adequate, working plumbing, and that everyone has access to voluntary healthcare to address chronic medical issues like vomiting or diarrhea, to provide needed adaptive equipment like a bedside commode, and, if needed, to hire personal care attendants to help people with things like cleaning, bathing, and toileting.

Your solution is what? That people with digestive issues should have to live outside? So they don't throw up on your nice floor? Do you have any idea how inhumane that sounds?

Or that they should be subjected to some type of coercive "behavior" program, because untreated Crohn's disease is a bad habit that they have to be tough-loved out of?

Because you think poor people are... just sitting there soiling themselves because they're too lazy to go to the toilet? That's actually what you think, isn't it? It follows logically from the assumption that poor people are poor in the first place because they're "lazy." But two seconds of thought would show that it couldn't possibly be true. You just think of poor people as less than human.

You are also gross and leaky and fleshy. You also poop and pee and barf and fart and sneeze. You are, through no virtue of your own, able to manage your bodily grossness. You are no better than someone who can't.

#housing crisis #universal housing #housing #classism #late capitalism #gross bodily functions

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kana-de · 20 hours

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silence.

tomioka giyuu x gn!reader.

⭒ summary: everyone knows that giyuu isn't much of a talker, so this depicts the silent moments with him that you both have come enjoy.

⭑ cw: sfw. mentions of giyuu's past (final selection w sabito). a bit of angst. reader is bad at comforting. giyuu loves you sm. like loves.

⭒ wc: 2.8k.

⭑ a/n: this took me too long wth, almost a month i fear lol. this was written during my demon slayer hyperfixation comeback (it's gone now) so uh. also acheron fic coming soon (i hope soon)! pls like and reblog !!

it wasn't exactly silence after giyuu finished speaking. there were sounds of birds chirping, wind occasionally blowing, resulting in sounds of swaying leaves on the trees being more audible. some even fell because of the invisible force of the air, ending up meeting the gravel ground near the engawa.

having told a good share of his past to you—precisely about sabito and the final selection, which were the main reason he wasn't exactly thrilled about taking part in the hashira training—giyuu decided to stop himself from telling you any more, choosing to leave other topics for later.

but will you still have this 'later' now that he's shared even a small bit of himself?

to you, the silence was awkward. not having the faintest idea of what to say in reply to that wasn't exactly what you would want to experience, yet here you were. it felt useless even trying to think of something, to try and make something up in your mind, even taking a bit more time than you usually do when thinking of a response, bur nothing could've prepared you to thinking of what to reply to this.

it made your stomach churn with how you realisex you couldn't seem to know what to do, what to say, how to comfort him; the closest to you person finally started to open uo, little by little, bit by bit and you instead feel like an immobile log, only being able to sit there and listen, not being able to muster up a word of comfort.

and you know, you know that it's because you've never heard the said words of colsolation in your life; thus, you didn't know how to comfort giyuu.

another gust of wind blew through the air, nearly ruffling your and his hair, and for a moment you think of giyuu with his hair no longer in a low ponytail, but instead it being messy and disarranged and you think of running your fingers through it. you hope you'll have such opportunity, even if only once.

another fallen onto your lap leaf helped you out of your thoughts; it would be even more awkward if you hadn't managed to say something at all, daydreaming and continuing on staying silent. you take the left between your fingers before it manages to fly away and take a look at it; elm.

"i'm... sorry," you finally spoke, voice quiet as to not disturb anything around. you felt so meek just hearing your own voice. "i don't really know what to say. but i'm sorry for what happened with sabito."

you took a pause; you were never one to have a good way with words, and it made everything even worse in this situation.

"just know that... i'm here for you whenever you want to talk to me about anything. i'll listen."

giyuu's head was in the same position as yours—lowered to look down at his lap. he couldn't say the atmosphere was tense, no, not at all. he knew this was a lot to digest in such a small period of time, no matter how long you've been silent, and he could see your hesitation in choosing the right words; you surely didn't voice your inability to properly comfort him, but didn't blame you for your lack in knowledge about it. he could guess why.

"it's alright," he said just as quietly, silently exhaling a small breath. it felt as if it was easier to breathe now that he had shared this bit of his past to you. "it was about time i told you anyways. i'm already glad you listened. don't bother with words."

you still felt that just listening wasn't enough.

"have you eaten yet?" giyuu broke another silence after a few more minutes of listening to the wind's unregulated breathing, wishing to change the topic to not overexert you mentally any further—what he's told you was enough and it wasn't like he wanted you to dwell on that story. he simply wanted you to know.

"forgot to."

giyuu knew quite well as of now that you tended to, much to his dismay, forget to have some of the meals throughout the day, and it didn't make it better when you could even skip lunch because of training or meetings or anything at all. once, he even told you that he was going to forbid you to enter the training grounds unless you've had at least two meals throughout the day. it's safe to say he physically couldn't do so, so for that period of time you and your exercises were safe.

giyuu didn't need to hear more from you. standing up from his sitting position on the engawa, he then offered you a hand to help you up. and with the gesture, you both knew that there was no need for more words.

the silence in the small soba restaurant never bothered you; it's a place where people came to eat, not to talk, after all. you two were the only people inside for now, but the sounds of utensils clanking and the smell of more food being cooked in the kitchen were very much present, and still, besides that, it was silent.

and still, your mind never seemed to get over how giyuu just brushed your inability to utter something reassuring off. maybe he didn't even want and didn't need the comfort you failed to provide; maybe he expected something like that from you, judging from your earlier reaction to his words just as he'd started talking. yes, he must've known you were bad at feelings, especially other people's, but was he used to it? he undeniably looked like he was, and that was just sad.

chopsticks carefully picking up the soba and guiding them into your mouth, noticing giyuu doing the same near you, your mind picked up the thought that, probably, saying something regarding what he told you about would be inappropriate, but you couldn't shake off the feeling of needing to get something out; something that could just show him that you understand him that much, at least.

"sabito would most definitely be out to get you for the mindset you have now."

out of the corner of your eye you notice that giyuu's hand, previously holding his chopsticks with a bit of noodles picked up, stops. it's not at all an abrupt stop, more like when coming to a thought one's mind has been chasing for a while already. you stop, too, having finished chewing.

and when the silence between you two starts feeling a little too long and a little too tense, and you start thinking that you may have said a very wrong and inappropriate thing, giyuu speaks up in a such relaxed and unimpressed manner that you involuntarily start questioning your choice of words. you'd expected him to get mad or upset, but not—

"you for yours, too."

oh.

"...touchè."

well.

the nights are—mostly—always silent.

the nights spent with giyuu are silent in their own, unmistakable way.

you two seem to create another form of serenity together—everything becomes as still as possible, wind appearing barely once for a few moments to ruffle the trees' leaves and then disappear without a trace.

your head is gently laid on giyuu's lap and gaze fixed on the night sky above with the stars filling the inky abyss, each sparkling more than the previous, as if trying to catch your attention, your eyes move from one to another, wanting to get a look at them all, wanting to engrave the look of them in your mind and keep it here; but there was just so much — you aren't sure if there even exists a number as big as the number of stars up there.

("do you think we get a star out there after death?"

"...maybe."

"would you try to look for mine when i die?"

"..."

"...sorry."

"...i would.")

with giyuu still looking somewhere in front of him—you can't quite decipher where, maybe he's just spaced out—your hand somewhere a bit lower your chest and his hand laying loosely over yours, you close your eyes and slowly inhale the night air; it smells of pine and momentarily happiness.

a few moments later giyuu's head tangibly shifts, and, having little self-restraint when it comes to curiosity, you open your eyes again—maybe he'd be looking at something different now?

and as your eyelids open, you find him to be staring at no one other than you.

eyes usually cold as a snowstorm and endless as the abyss above you both have now descended to endearment and devotion as they look into yours. they twitch slightly lower and to the side, watching your lips for a few seconds, before coming back upwards to your eyes.

he's so enchanting—close to being as enchanting as the stars he's now blocking your view of. maybe he even looks like one in your mind, or maybe it's just his endless eyes, the colors of which blend into the matching endless night sky. you notice yourself not minding the blocked view if the one doing it is giyuu.

with the main sight now being his eyes instead of the gleaming celestial bodies—you can't exactly complain—you feel like staring into them an eternity more, and then another and another until you've memorized each and every pattern in them. and you're sure that if eyes could talk, both your and his would scream affection.

"you're blocking the view," you say, having no more stars to see right in front of you, them being replaced with giyuu's face.

"you seem to be enjoying it all the same," giyuu declares, unimpressed, despite his eyes narrowing the slightest bit in amusement. you're pretty sure his mouth's corners nearly curve upwards. you would've loved to witness him smile, especially at the moment.

you hum quietly, eyes wandering over his face—how can one attract so much? and it's not just about his beauty; he's everything you've ever needed and didn't know you ever needed in your life. "i never said i wasn't enjoying it."

giyuu, too, can't seem to be able to tear his eyes away from you—starting from your eyes as well, they descend lower to your lips (he's a very patient man), neck—and he regrets both of you being too shy and humble to try and leave hickeys on each other, he would enjoy that sight very much—then your uniform which just suits you so much, and, in the end, your hand, one of which is held by his—when did he go from it simply lying on top of yours to holding it?—and he involuntarily laces your fingers together slowly, eyes following each and every movement. your hands are almost just as his—arms a bit scarred underneath the clothes, skin on the palms calloused from holding your katanas, along with healed nicks and occasional cuts.

humming as well in acknowledgement of your words, his gaze follows the trail back to your face and settle back on your eyes. he has to remind himself to not look into them too long, fearing he'd get too lost in their infinite beauty.

"we could stay like this forever," giyuu suddenly speaks up, and with the quietness of the words said they don't seem to disturb the silence at all.

"we could."

you get what he's trying to say. there was never enough time for both of you since the moment you've joined the demon slayers, and then the hashiras, signing yourself a death warrant when doing so; it's pointless to deny the truth and the inevitable, and you both long learned to embrace it.

but all the sadness and inevitableness can be forgot at times like these, right? even just foe the night or for a few hours before the two of you go back to your routine duties.

"but what would you do then?" you continue, being tempted into asking the question with the smallest teasing lilt in your voice, as if prompting him to speak about his feelings about you.

feelings are hard, especially for someone like him—especially for someone with the past and job he has—but slowly, bit-by-bit, step-by-step, you try to get him to understand them, even if you're lost in your own and sometimes can't find a way out of your own feelings. you guess it comes with the job.

guyuu stops to think for, maybe, a bit more than a minute or two, and lets the silence embrace both of you again. again, it's never tense with him (you don't really want to remember the time he told you about sabito, though it still lingers in the back of your mind and comes up in the most unpleasant times), as you two gratefully grab onto the every little bit of serenity and peace you have.

while he thinks, your gaze, once again, roams over his face, with the twinkling stars now serving as a simple background for what—who—you're seeing, being a pleasant compliment to the sight in front of you. moonlight obligingly illuminates a great half of his face, letting you see most details on it, and who would you be if you missed on this opportunity?

nearly just as he's about to start talking, his lips opening and, dear gods above, he can sense your eyes shifting to his moving lips. it's always with you that he feels like a teenager—not really lovey-dovey, but it's a fact that he lets himself be more open to feelings with you.

"i would..." giyuu starts, taking a small break before continuing—to gather his thoughts, knowing you're watching him as intently as you can, and it's not in the least bit uncomfortable as it would be if it wasn't you.

"i would look at you," he says. "for the rest of eternity. i wouldn't want to do anything else besides it."

as he finishes speaking, you slowly but surely feel the tips of your ears becoming a shade of red; thankfully, it's not your face. yet.

"is that so?" you manage to whisper out, taking slow and barely audible breaths to try and calm your fast beating heart. he probably can hear it with how your back lays on his lap, but that doesn't really matter. "wouldn't you get bored?"

"never."

you're sure your face gets a small tint of red.

you, involuntarily, hold your breath after his words, eyes widening a tad bit, and it's only a few seconds later that you quietly exhale the air you didn't know you have been holding in.

the words he says are so simple—but he does have a way with them, and that's what makes you love him more and more with each syllable leaving his lips.

there's moonlight illuminating his—and your—face, and you seem to notice it just now. it shines onto a great half of his face, letting you see even more details on his skin, and if it was illegal to stare for so long, you'd be long behind bars, living your worst ever imaginable life without having something as precious and pretty as giyuu to look at.

his eyes shift. you get the hint just as his gaze moves onto your lips—you've been looking at them so attentively, it'd be a shame if you didn't notice that.

having taken a, supposedly, not so fitting of a position to kiss, you have to sit up using your hands and place them on the grass beneath you to hold yourself up, and your face moves just enough for him to understand. you don't make any rash movements; you're careful but your intentions are evident.

giyuu's face shifts closer, too. it moves forward until he feels like both your and his lips are soon to meet together. one look into each other's eyes is all it takes for his appearance to soften and lean towards you.

your lips touch in a kiss and you feel like you could die right now and there because of how soft it feels, coming from him, usually so sharp and harsh; it feels like your lips are melting together but you don't have it in you to mind—it's been far too long since you two have had any time to yourselves and your small affections and you don't know when you'll have another night like this.

his eyes settle closed the same time as yours do, and as much as you like looking at him, it just helps the atmosphere around you even more. giyuu's lips slowly, gently move against yours and you just happen to think of how tender they are, and that warms your chest more than anything.

it's silent and wordless with giyuu, and you just happen to love it.

#giyuu x reader #giyuu x y/n #giyuu tomioka #giyuu tomioka x reader #giyuu tomioka x y/n #tomioka giyuu x reader #kny #kny x reader #kny x y/n #kny x you #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer x you #demon slayer x y/n

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thelampisaflashlight · 1 day

Text

A Lack of Engagement Pt. 3: It Gets Worse

[Previous Chapter: Here. Morning regrets, and a search for dick... That's what we're working with here, expect no less.] Below the cut.

There's something uniquely mortifying about being caught jacking it, even if they are ghouls and they're all pretty open about their sexual escapades, this is a little different.

Rain can feel the building of his orgasm, much to his own horror, continue in spite of Dew standing in the doorway, staring!

He's just frozen there, eyeing Rain's dick with an expression he can't quite read, and then he opens his mouth and-

"Why is it blue...?"

-Rain gives a noise of distress, wanting to curl into himself and perish on the spot, but he can't stop himself from giving his cock one more tug, and somehow that's the one that does it.

He has to grip the counter to stop himself from toppling forward with the force of it, and Dew is definitely going to kill him for cumming in front of him like that!

Except he doesn't.

Dew doesn't make a move towards or away from him.

He lingers, and as Rain comes down from his high, he can see the other man's face growing pinker and pinker.

At some point, Dew holds his hands up, face beet red.

Rain tries to speak, but he's still reeling from his orgasm, and trying to breathe normally.

"Fuck..." he manages, "'m sorry..."

"...Your... Your..." Dew swallows, "I..."

They both stand there for a moment before Dew does something that makes Rain gape at him like a fish.

He shuts the door.

Closing them both inside the room.

Rain isn't sure what's about to happen, but the energy in the room has shifted in a strange way, and either Dew is really going to murder him or-

"...I mean, it's fine, right?" he says finally, "We're... married, so... We've probably..."

The kraken stirs.

"Dew, I don't-" Rain coughs, "-I don't think... Um... What're you doing?"

Dew has his thumbs hooked into his boxers.

"E-Eye for an eye, yeah?"

Rain wants to stop him, wants to grab his hands and stop him, but about partway through that thought, he dares a glance at Dew's crotch, and, well-

"...Oh my fucking god."

He's not sure what he expected to see Dew whip out, but this was not it.

It's about four inches long, flaccid, but wriggling with some interest as Dew takes it in hand.

"That's..."

A knock sounds on their bedroom door and Dew hastily packs himself away while Rain does similar, wiping his hands off on a nearby towel.

"Oi, lovebirds! You're gonna miss breakfast if you don't get your asses up!" Cirrus calls, then, after a pause, "...Don't hurry too fast though, Aether's teacing Aeon how to make pancakes, and I think I smell burning."

Rain and Dew share a look, considering.

Okay.

Okay, okay, okay...

"We're gonna pretend that didn't happen." Rain says finally, and Dew nods, "We've gotta... We've gotta focus up and figure out how to turn things back to normal and find the... giant metal penis."

Dew frowns, but nods his head regardless.

There it is again, that strange hesitance.

Rain wants to say something about it, but he also doesn't want to risk making Dew uncomfortable, although-

"I'm... I'm sorry you had to see my dick." Rain apologizes.

"No, no, I'm sorry I showed you mine!" Dew trills awkwardly, "Don't even... Like you said, let's pretend this all didn't happen."

"Right..."

Breakfast is... tense.

Tense, and burnt.

Aeon tried his best, but even with Aether's help, half the pancakes could be classified as briquettes, and Rain isn't sure if he can drown them in enough syrup to make them palatable.

Dew is struggling in his own way, trying to scoop up a wayward strawberry with his fork and failing miserably, until Rain jabs his fork into it and holds it up to his face.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" he asks the rest of the pack nonchalantly as Dew considers his angle of attack, popping the fruit into his mouth before going back to carving at one of his pancakes, which basically snaps under pressure from his knife.

"Ehn, there's a meeting going on with Copia and the rest of the clergy, something about changes to the hierarchy, but nothing that involves any of us at the moment." Aether explains, "Aside from our regular duties, our schedules are all fairly free for the next week or so until they get everything straightened out."

Rain hums and pokes at his breakfast.

"Maybe we could all watch a movie together??" Aurora suggests, the only ghoul actively crunching on the burnt pancakes, giving Aeon a thumbs up when he deposits more of his charcoal bits onto her plate, looking embarrassed, but proud, "Something scary!"

As others chime in with their assent, Dew nudges Rain under the table with his knee, prompting the water ghoul to give a little push back, the two bump each other back and forth for a bit before Rain notices their packmates looking back at them.

"What about you two?" Aurora asks, propping her head up on the back of her hands, "Unless you have other plans...?"

Dew opens his mouth, but finds himself at a loss for words, looking over at Rain, who thinks for a moment before shaking his head.

"We have a, uh," Rain rolls the word 'date' on his tongue, then eyes Dew.

"I don't want to ruin the surprise." he says finally, "He's been hounding me all morning about it, even broke into the bathroom to interrogate me about what I have planned!"

"I DID NO-" Dew balks, then remembers, flushing bright red, "...actually, yeah, I did..."

The table erupts into laughter, save for Rain, who silently thanks Dew for going along with what he said, because, well, it is the truth, albeit not all of it.

"Ohh~? Loverboy is finally making up for forgetting his hubby's birthday?" Swiss teases, pointing his fork at Rain, "Trying to win back those brownie points, huh?"

Rain blinks, sitting up straight.

"I did not forget Dew's birthday." he says, sounding very offended, "I took him t-"

He stops midsentence, slapping a hand over his mouth as he recalls how the two of them spent Dew's birthday this year.

It had been a special request from his friend that they not tell the others what they were getting up to that day, even if it wasn't anything outright embarrassing, Dew had been adamant that no one else know what their plans were for his birthday.

They'd gone to the aquarium, and had spent the entire day joking about which sea creatures they'd eat or had eaten, and at the end of the day, Rain had gifted Dew a marine biology textbook, since he'd been aching to learn more on a scientific level about the creatures they'd encountered.

Rain himself had purchased an octopus plush for himself, which was absurdly large and difficult to smuggle past the other ghouls to avoid suspicion, but worth it in the end, because it really did bring his room together...

"You took him where?" Swiss probes, watching Rain squirm under the attention.

He coughs into his fist and shrugs.

"Nothing." he says, "Just saying I didn't forget is all."

"Secrets, secrets are no fun, unless you sha-" Swiss starts to chant, but Dew shuts down the nonsense by scooting away from the table and standing up.

"Bathroom."

Rain blinks at him, "Oh, uh, alright-"

"You, too." he adds, grabbing him by the scruff.

"OOOOOOH~!" the other ghouls laugh, "Someone's in trouble~"

"...Shut up." Rain mumbles, letting himself be dragged away by the shorter man.

"So... *come* here often?" Dew jokes, and Rain almost chokes on his spit.

They're standing in Rain's on suite again, having decided, for whatever reason, that talking behind a door that literally does not work is better than standing directly in his -their- bedroom.

"Sorry, that was... Anyway, I wanted to discuss our game plan." he says after helping pat Rain on the back, "We have all week to work unimpeded looking for that statue, after that, it'll be difficult to find a spare moment where both of us can look for it together."

"Right... Even if we could look for it by ourselves, the magic only works if there's more than one person present... at least that's the theory we have going, yeah?" Rain concludes, and Dew nods, "That being said, so far, nothing seems out of place aside from, well, us."

"Us being a couple is a significant change, especially since, based on what I've seen on my phone, we've been together for a while now. Like, years." Dew says, slipping his phone out of his pants pocket, "...It'd be one thing if the statue bound us together with some stupid spell, but this is going too far..."

"I'm sorry." Rain apologizes, "I know being married to me is-"

"I mean, it's one thing to mess with our friends' heads and implant memories of a wedding that never happened, but, like, c'mon, let me remember this stuff, too!" Dew complains, startling Rain, who was not expecting this conclusion, "I kept looking through the pictures on my phone and I don't remember any of this, it's not fair, man!"

Rain tilts his head.

"You... want to remember... or, rather, you'd want the spell to make you think we've been married?" he tries, pursing his lips, "What?"

Dew freezes.

"I... Yeah... Maybe..." he rubs his arm, "It just feels... off... otherwise."

Rain feels an ache in his chest.

"Dew, do you... Are you saying..." he pulls back and sighs deeply, "Dew, you're my best friend. I love you, but I'm not in love with you."

"...Same... Same here." Dew replies, but he can't hide the brokenness in his voice, and Rain remembers then Dew's insistence on trying the statue again.

How he'd said they had to be serious.

...How the spell supposedly only worked if the pair before it were lovers.

But it had worked with them!

It had worked, and the statue had even called them out on it!

So...

Rain watches Dew wipe the corners of his eyes, trying to hide the hurt spilling from them.

...could it have worked because of something one-sided?

"I'm so sorry." Dew whispers, "I didn't... didn't want you finding out like this. Sorry, I... I'm sorry, this is how I feel."

"...I'm sorry, too."

The search for the statue is an awkward one.

Dew is still reeling from having his feelings exposed so easily, and Rain is in the midst of processing this new information, trying to figure out how he could have possibly lead the other on.

It's not that he doesn't find Dew attractive, or that they don't get along -they get along very well- and, sure, Rain did jack off to him this morn-

Rain feels a stirring inside of him again.

Goddammit, he thinks, is this part of the spell?

But...

As they browse the abbey's art collection for signs of one large dick, Rain finds himself thinking back on a lot of things.

This isn't the first time he's thought about Dew like that, but he's always managed to push those feelings down pretty well.

Somehow, it doesn't feel right that he's ONLY interested in Dew's body like that.

He likes Dew, he loves the guy, but... not romantically.

Does he very much want to fuck him though?

Yes.

And that's what has him shoving it all into the back of his mind.

Trying to at least.

It doesn't feel right that Dew LIKES him and that he just... he can't reciprocate it.

If he only wants Dew for his body, that's like a whole new level of leading him on.

Yeah, they're ghouls, they fuck around and move on, but things can get messy when feelings are involved.

Cirrus and Cumulus are a fine example of just that.

He cringes at the memories of their fights when they were together, how hard it had been for them to navigate the balance between the sexual freedom they both craved while being devoted to one another emotionally.

It was all a giant shitfest, until they stepped back and actually talked about what they wanted and realized they didn't click as well as they initially thought, and while they're happier than ever now... Rain can't put Dew through that.

But then again, who says monogamy is what the guy even wants?

They probably talked about all of this at some point, given their relationship status in this version of their reality, but it probably didn't happen over text, so fishing through his phone some more isn't going to help their situation.

He has to find that stupid fucking statue!

But...

Rain looks around the room, searching for Dew amongst the various artworks on display and comes up empty.

He feels a mild panic coming on when he sweeps his gaze over the room and, again, finds nothing.

"Dew??"

He looks left and right.

"Hey, hey, Dew, where are you??"

...He's gone.

Shit, shit, shit-

"I'm right next to you, you jerk." A familiar voice grumbles from beside him, and, upon looking down, Rain meets the disgruntled gaze of a very annoyed ghoul.

"Oh, shit, I-I didn't realize you were there-"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever. Let's just keep looking." Dew mutters, clearly unhappy, "Let's get this over with already."

"I..."

"...When we get back..." Dew says, "Don't talk to me."

"...For how long?" Rain frets.

"Forever if you want." he replies, hands in his pockets, "Since you're so tweaked out about shit, and this isn't something you get over in a day, or a week, or a year or whatever..."

"I can't just stop talking to you, you're my f-" Rain starts, but Dew cuts him off.

"Yeah, you're my friend, but you're already looking at me like I'm a freak because of how I feel, and I don't think I can come back from that, Rain." he places a hand on his chest, "Shit fucking hurts..."

"Dew..."

#lamp writes #shitghosting #nameless ghouls #dewdrop ghoul #rain ghoul #ghost band #the band ghost #ghost bc #raindrop #rain/dewdrop #a lack of engagement #would you believe there's angst in the metal dick fic

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bizaar · 19 hours

Text

Endless Summer ✧

Part 3: Band on the Run

Cruel Summer Masterlist

Prev - Next

pairing: eddie munson x afab!reader

warnings: sexual content (18+ minors dni), horny-loser!reader, brief descriptions of sexual fantasies, swearing, and so much pining

word count: 19k

a/n: we're back baybeee! also, if anyone knows the original creator of the gif below, please let me know so I can tag them, I've had these on my laptop for over a year and I've lost all my credits!!

In the three hours it has been since you got home from school, the floor of your bedroom has become almost totally obscured by what is essentially every article of clothing you own. You’d made the mess in a frantic attempt at putting together an outfit out of thin air because you don’t actually own anything cool enough for how you’re planning to spend your night.

You’re supposed to be babysitting, just like every other Tuesday night you’ve spent since you were thirteen years old, but this week, for the first time in history, you did everything in your power to get out of that duty. You’d pulled out all the stops to convince everyone that, despite the perfect health of your earlier day, you’d somehow managed to contract a sudden onset, highly contagious illness sometime between fifth-period chemistry and now (one you intend on making a swift and miraculous recovery from) and for the safety of everyone around you, you should not be disturbed under any circumstances.

You blame it on how you’d spent four hours out in the cold, taking Dustin and his friends around to trick-or-treat last night, though all that does is get your mother on your case about how she “told you to wear a coat”, but would you listen? No.

It took almost a full hour of debate, all the tricks you’d ever seen employed in movies to fake sickness, and what you like to think of as an Oscar-worthy performance on your part, but your parents eventually gave in and called across the street to deliver the news. Part of you feels like it was only because they didn’t want to argue with you anymore, but in any case you got what you wanted.

Dustin was going to the Wheelers, your parents were going to their weekly Tuesday night extracurriculars, and (unbeknownst to everyone else) you were going to see a band play at the Hideout.

Though not just any band.

The only reason you’ve gone to such lengths to get out of all your previous plans is because you’ve been personally invited to go and see Corroded Coffin play — Eddie’s band.

Of course, you didn't know that at the time of the initial invitation, which came through Gareth, just as the school bell was finishing its cacophonous ringing to signify the end of fifth-period chemistry.

“Hey, so, what are you doing tonight?” he asked, leaning less than casually on his elbow to peer down the length of his nose at you.

You remember thinking that the way he was twisting at the waist looked terribly uncomfortable, but you were only half conscious of anything going on around you as you began the arduous task of orienting yourself toward your original plans for the night.

“Homework.” You replied in an absent monotone, trying for the millionth time not to get sucked back into the memory of the lunch period spent “swapping eyes” with Eddie Munson.

It’s been five days since then, but who’s counting?

Certainly not you and all the assignments piling up in your locker, waiting on the promise of “later” you’ve been making since the moment you finally managed to drag yourself out of those woods.

You were vaguely aware of Gareth answering with some kind of a droll response – which was entirely on brand for the likes of him – but you hardly heard him say it.

You had a lot of other things on your mind, all of which seemed much more important than divulging your wholly uninteresting after-school plans to your lab partner.

Tonight, you’ll be sitting at the Henderson’s kitchen table doing all your overdue assignments while your prepubescent charge plays Atari, nothing more, nothing less.

Talk about a rip-roaring good time, right?

Still, it beats the “casual hangout” in Steve Harrington’s backyard Carol had tried to coerce you into attending under threat of major bodily harm. Not that being forced to sit around a pool in early November, fifth wheeling while everyone around you sucks face doesn’t sound like just the most fun a girl could have, but you told Carol the same thing you told Gareth about your plans for that night – you’ve got to do your homework, and it’s not even a lie.

Normally, you like to think you’re a much better student, and while you’re not entirely sure that line of thinking is warranted (as is evidenced by your last report card, which saw you pulling straight C’s) you know for a fact that any and all thoughts of academia flew right out the window the moment Eddie put himself in the seat across from you in the lunchroom.

And aren’t you so incandescently glad he did?

It is a sentiment your teachers do not share. That morning (the first day back after a long weekend spent miserably pining) you’d even received the dreaded summons from your guidance counselor, who sat you down and asked if “everything was fine at home”.

Why? You’d wanted to ask – because you were seen slinking off to the woods with Eddie Munson or because he wasn’t in school the next day and you haven’t turned in a single assignment since? You might remind them that with the long weekend, there are only technically two days of work missing, but you know they don’t want to hear that because this isn’t really about the homework.

This is about you following Eddie out into the woods.

How are you supposed to think about things like formulas and essays when you can still see him gazing back at you from across the picnic bench every time you close your eyes? With that dreamy look on his face?

And more to the point, how are you meant to explain to an adult that everything is fine, it’s only just you haven’t seen him in nearly a week and, not to be dramatic or hideously cliche, but you can’t seem to eat, sleep, or concentrate on anything so banal as homework when you’re fairly certain he was getting ready to kiss you out in those woods before the bell rang?

You’re not positive that’s where things were headed, but you’re pretty damn sure, and it's enough to get your girlish libido ringing the warning bells of your imminent demise with every day that passes out of Eddie’s presence.

No, you can’t explain that to an educational professional or Carol, or anyone else without raising some serious alarms. Because you’re not even supposed to be talking to Eddie Munson, let alone sneaking off to the woods to become as completely captivated by him as you are.

And he didn’t even kiss you…

God, how you wish he would have just kissed you, especially after the way he seemed to make himself scarce the moment you took your eyes off him.

You’d put quite a lot of time and energy after you got home that Thursday evening into wondering what it would have taken to get Eddie to lean over that table, and quite a bit more into wondering whether you ought to have bucked up and done it yourself.

Not that it mattered, because he didn’t kiss you and you didn’t kiss him, and there you remain, unkissed and suddenly the topic of everyone’s conversation.

Because on top of everything else, there is that side of it.

Like somehow a spell had been broken that afternoon you followed Eddie out of the lunchroom, everybody and their mother is suddenly keenly interested in you. People who have never given you the time of day suddenly know your name, and they want to know all the intimate details of what you did with Eddie Munson out in the woods, or rather, what he did to you.

You probably should have known that was coming.

Still, you hate to indulge them with any kind of answer, even if it happens to be a big fat nothing. They only want to know so they can wrinkle their noses and sneer and shout about how “fucking nasty” that is — shacking up with the Freak King — just like Carol did in the lunchroom the day before all your dreams came true.

You would spare yourself that humiliation if you could, but more than that, you’re struck by how you don’t want them talking about Eddie that way.

You have become inordinately fond of him since that afternoon, more than you already were, and in a very specific way. Somehow, you can’t help but feel that, even though your conversation lasted less than twenty minutes altogether, you understand each other now.

You’re simpatico.

You might even venture to say that you’re almost friends.

Strange how a little quiet intimacy was all you needed to curb the rabid edge of your obsession. Eddie is still all you think about, but in a decidedly calmer way, because he thinks you’re nice and approachable, and you think the same about him.

Still, in the five agonizing days it’s been since that big fat nothing happened, the questions have not stopped. Part of you wants to give them an answer if only to shut them up, but somehow you don’t think “he captivated me” is going to satisfy the people’s ravenous appetite for gossip.

You’re certain everyone has already made up their mind about what they think happened, anyway. In the food chain of high school social constructs, it doesn’t matter what did or didn’t happen, it only matters what people say happened. and you’re absolutely certain that you’re going to hear all about it sooner or later.

You realize now that’s probably why Carol was so desperate to get you to come out and fifth wheel tonight when she knows you have to babysit. She keeps telling you that you owe her because you didn’t go to Tina’s Halloween party, but somehow you’re not convinced she was that upset to have missed you.

Maybe it’s just that she doesn’t trust you not to lie to her about where you’re going to be and who you’ll be with, who will see you with them, and how that will come back to reflect on her. Guilty by association is the law of the land at Hawkins High, after all.

With all that weighing heavy on your mind, you ignored any further questions Gareth had about your after-school plans and shoved your books into your bag, ready to submit yourself to the quiet death of study hall.

Ugh… study hall… you’d rather eat glass. Then again, you’d also rather not have to spend your summer watching the sweat beading on Mrs. O’Donnell’s upper lip in summer school, so down the hall you went, headed against the flow of traffic in the busy hallway.

Somehow, it feels like overt symbolism bashing you over the head – you’ve always hated a cliché.

Lucky for you and your impending academic doom, Gareth was not so easily deterred and scrambled to follow you out the door.

“Why don’t you come out tonight instead?” He asked innocently, like it was the most casual thing in the world and he wasn’t struggling to keep pace with you as all your classmates shoved past.

The question hit you square in the back, punching your lungs flat and wrenching you out of your thoughts with enough force to make your head spin.

“Excuse me?” You gasped, pulling to a stop and whipping around so suddenly that Gareth, who you hadn’t realized was skirting along at your elbow, nearly took a blow to the solar plexus in his attempt to keep up.

Your insides clenched and forced your heart up into your throat, but before you had the time to decide whether or not Gareth had just asked you out, his eyes went comically wide, and he began to backpedal as if his life depended upon it.

Then again, it might have, if what he said was true and word got back around to Eddie.

“Not like a date!” He yelped, throwing his hands up and showing you his palms in a way that flooded you with a strange and instant relief, “Just as friends—”

Oh, thank God for that.

You could barely wrap your head around the concept that Eddie feels any sort of intimate way about you —and you’re still not entirely convinced about that — but to suddenly learn that you are the object of two affections? That’s too much revelation for one week, and you can only thank that dim lucky star that so infrequently passes you over that it had been nothing but a misunderstanding.

Not like a date, Gareth said, Just as friends, and you’re fine with that.

From there, he had your full attention as he went on to explain that his band was doing a set down at the Hideout, and he was extending you a personal invitation to come and see them play. You had no idea Gareth was in a band, though that was perhaps stupid on your part based solely on the boy’s appearance – of course, Gareth is in a band, and of course, that band’s name is Corroded Coffin (which you’re only slightly ashamed about giggle-snorting over when he told you) Between that and the location, your gut reaction was to refuse.

Gareth is great, especially when he’s playing the herald to all your hopes and dreams, and especially when he isn’t asking you out, but no.

Absolutely not.

You would not be going to see Corroded Coffin tonight.

Lucky for you, you’ve had the perfect excuse to get out of anything and everything that sounds like a colossal bore since you were thirteen years old, and you were all too happy to trot it out.

“Oh man, I wish I could,” you began, trying to mask the faintest hint of smug satisfaction in your tone with an apologetic scrunch of your features, “...but I’m babysitting tonight.”

And you would have been content for the conversation to end there, but you didn’t count on Gareth having an ace in the hole, one he was all too happy to knock you upside the head with and send your brains splattering all over the crusty school linoleum.

“Aw, really? Damn, that’s a bummer,” he hummed, “I know Eddie would’ve been stoked to see you.”

Your heart skipped a beat and you had to fight to stop yourself from seizing Gareth by the front of his shirt.

If you had, you would have shaken him like a ragdoll and demanded he tell you everything he knows. Instead, you did your best to remain calm as you stared back at him and the look of smug self-satisfaction he suddenly had plastered across his face.

For some reason, it made you think of the message you’d promised to take back out of the woods last week.

“Tell the smug bastard to mind his own business,” Eddie said, and you didn’t, because Gareth never asked you how it went. He just gave you a sly smug look, the same one he was currently giving you right there in the hallway five days later.

“Oh,” You said, feeling about as casual as a heart attack, “Is Eddie going to be there?”

Your voice hitched and wavered as you did your best to casually skip over his name. You were cool, calm, collected, and definitely not internally shrieking with the sudden potential of a “part two” of last Thursday…

The potent spike of desperation that thought sent rocketing through your midsection was enough to drive color bleeding up into your cheeks and a cold sweat beading across your brow.

It is a reaction you are certain Gareth was not unwise to as he continued without missing a beat.

“Yeah, he’s our frontman,” He explained, knowing full well what he was doing dropping that kind of information, “Technically it’s his band – he started it back when he was in Middle School or something,”

Well, put me in a fucking chokehold why don’t you? Something inside of you screamed to have had such a treasure trove of lore opened up to you.

Like the blessed hand of deus-ex-machina — cheap bitch that she is — opportunity comes a-knocking.

A personal invitation has been extended to you and you’ve never been more anxious, because you?

At a rock show?

At the Hideout?

Who the hell do you think you are? You’ve never been to a concert – which is not an astounding statement to make in and of itself considering your inclination toward introversion – so you have no idea what to expect.

There are a great many things you’ve never done. For instance: you’ve never lied to your parents to get out of babysitting, so you can sneak off and go to a rock concert in a dingy dive bar you’re not legally old enough to get into, to see a boy you are strictly forbidden from speaking to.

You’ve got no business being involved with any of that and as the school day came to a close and the final pieces of your plan steadily fell into place, you had to ask yourself whether you were seriously going to go to such lengths, just to see Eddie?

The answer was a resounding yes.

You’re going to see Corroded Coffin perform tonight if it kills you.

As you stand there looking back at yourself in the mirror, dressed in the fifth outfit you’ve tried on in as many minutes, you begin to wonder if it might just do that.

Your parents have been gone less than five minutes, and you’re already getting cold feet.

Yet another thing you’ve never done is try to approximate dressing to impress someone, let alone the boy you regularly spend your nights and mornings fantasizing over with all the ravenous fervor of a pack of hungry wolves.

You have no idea where to start.

What are you supposed to wear to a rock show in a dingy dive bar? Jeans and a band-tee, maybe? And if so, what kind of jeans, and which band-tee?

It occurs to you that you ought to try and match the vibe of the band, but you have no idea whether they skew toward Credence Clearwater Revival or Judas Priest.

Then again, with a name like Corroded Coffin, you can’t help but feel it is probably the latter, but you’ve been wrong before.

So, maybe jeans and a t-shirt is too casual and you ought to try something a little more risqué.

Maybe a little denim skirt and the pair of ripped nylons you haven’t gotten around to throwing out… or is that too risqué? How exactly does one strike the right balance between sultry and slutty without outright screaming “I want to feel you in my guts?”

You remember then how you once skimmed an article in Cosmopolitan Magazine about the prospective power of underwear, so you go digging through your top dresser drawer and are very quickly dismayed to find that you don’t have a hidden stash of lacy panties carefully concealed beneath your days-of-the-week underwear.

Of course, the fact that you’re even considering what kind of underwear you ought to be wearing tonight on the very far-off chance that someone is going to see them is enough to send you into a fit of hot-faced embarrassment.

No, not just anyone – the fact that you’re considering the far-off chance that Eddie Munson is going to see what kind of underwear you’re wearing is almost enough to give you heart palpitations.

Christ on a fucking bike.

And then just like that, you’re imagining how gentle he’d be.

Laying you back on a tufted leather couch as he kneels before you and reaches up with long, dexterous fingers to unbutton your jeans — should you wear jeans tonight? — and carefully, oh so gently, peels them down your legs at an agonizing pace while puffs of warm breath fan the bare skin at the top of your thighs.

Then again maybe not, maybe he’ll be fast and rough with you. Maybe he’ll manhandle you and throw you around like a doll, and you’ll like it.

Crowding you against the cold brick of a wall and holding you there, his body pressed flush against your back as stone bites your palms and the side of your face. You gasp when he tears at the back seam of your skirt — oh, okay so you are wearing the skirt — ripping both it and your nylons in half, exposing you to the cold air and the hard strike of his palm as he brings it down on the tender skin of your—

You’re blushing so violently that you have to go to your hall bath and splash cold water on your face. Even after you’ve calmed enough to wander back to the black hole of mess that is your bedroom, you still have no idea what to wear.

It’s times like this that you curse Carol for shirking her duties as your best friend. Between the two of you, she’s the expert at dressing to attract male attention, she ought to be here helping you with something like this.

But she’s not here, she’s sitting out at the pool at Steve Harrington’s playing tonsil hockey with Tommy. That’s where you ought to be, too – sitting at the pool, trying to look anywhere but at them, going at it.

That’s where you belong, in Carol’s shadow or perched on the plush sofa at the Henderson’s with your knees up and Speed Racer reruns steadily turning your brain into soup.

It occurs to you that you might be a bad person, or at least a very selfish one – if you’re going to skip out on Dustin like this, you might as well do it to hang out with your friends, not to try and carve out a brand-new cherry-flavored personality for yourself in a crowd you don’t belong to.

You’re not equipped for something like this. You have no business with rock shows and dive bars and people like Eddie Munson – you’re just a boring, midwestern babysitter from a town no one has ever heard of, and you would do well to remember that there is no changing lanes in a place like Hawkins.

You’re just about ready to admit defeat and march yourself across the street with your tail tucked firmly between your legs when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.

Plain-Jane, boring little you, with the same haircut you’ve always had, same silhouette, same clothes, same as it ever was, and suddenly you can’t stop thinking about what Eddie said to you out in the woods…

“You’re not what I expected…” He’d said, twisting the rings on his thick fingers and looking at you so wistfully, in a way you’d convinced yourself was full of hope and an expectation you desperately wanted to meet.

You still want it. You want so badly to be the girl he expects to see at the show tonight, not some trussed-up idealized version of what you imagine might impress him.

He likes you for you, after all, just the way you are, and it’s enough to stoke the fires of your courage, even if it doesn’t help you decide between the jeans and the skirt.

By the time you finally throw something on that you’re halfway happy with, you’ve spent too much time wondering about hypotheticals and outfits and whether– in the event of an intimate collision – you would actually like to be spanked. Before you know it, you’re running late.

You’ve almost convinced yourself that it’s fashionably so as you snatch up your keys, fly out of the house, and down your front steps. All the coolest people are fashionably late … at least that’s what Cosmopolitan Magazine says.

It’s only a short jaunt down Cornwallis to the Hideout, and when you get there, there is a semi-shitty Chevrolet van parked crooked across two spaces with the back doors flung open wide.

It’s vaguely familiar, the way all vans of its type are, though perhaps you only think you’ve seen it before because of the posse of boys meandering around it, moving gear between the vehicle and the curb.

Your headlights briefly illuminate the familiar faces of the group before passing them over as you pull into the first parking spot you see.

There is Gareth, of course, alongside Adam and Jeff, who you only actually know by reputation and the quick debriefing of the band he’d given you earlier that afternoon, but you cannot help but notice that there is conspicuously no sign of Eddie among them.

You try not to be too immediately disappointed by that as you kill the engine and unbuckle your seatbelt.

Oh, will you relax already? A voice chides you from somewhere in the back of your mind. Just because you didn’t see him doesn’t mean he’s not here.

Across the tiny lot, Gareth drops the end of the amp he’s got propped between himself and Adam (you think) and skips over to meet you as you steal one final look at yourself in the inset mirror of your sun visor.

You’re not a natural when it comes to applying makeup — yet another thing you could have used Carol’s help with tonight — but you did your best to look presentable.

You imagine if there is anything glaringly clownish about the way you look, it will be easily obscured by the dark and dingy atmosphere of the venue. Bar. Whatever.

And then the crisp November evening air comes rushing in to flash freeze you with goosebumps as Gareth opens your driver's side door and stands practically bouncing on his toes with excitement.

You brace yourself against the cold and suddenly cannot imagine trying to endure sitting out at the Harrington’s pool on a night like this.

“You made it!” Gareth cries as you slide out of your trusty little Toyota Corolla and it strikes you with just how nice it is to have someone glad to see you show up for once.

Your friends are typically less enthusiastic about that.

Still, you don’t want to appear overly eager, so you can’t help but try and mask it by pulling a face – you’d told him you’d be there, after all.

“Was that ever in doubt?” You ask, shouldering your bag.

You shut the door and twist your keys in the lock before quickly stashing them.

“Well, you never know.” Gareth says, shrugging, “People get busy.”

Yeah, and people also bend over backward to get out of prior obligations to keep their word.

And then, you find yourself wondering if it’s totally weird that you jumped through so many hoops just to make sure you could keep yours.

Lying to your parents, lying to Mrs. Henderson, lying to Carol (who called you ten minutes before you left and demanded once more that you come out before cursing you when you declined again).

Somehow you can’t help but get the sense that if anyone knew, if anyone could have been a fly on the wall of your life this afternoon, you might come across as desperate, especially considering you could take or leave the band.

You’d gone through all that effort just to see Eddie, who so far as you can tell is not even here.

Shit — you’re starting to wonder if tonight is going to be a huge bummer when Gareth brings you back.

“Come over and meet the guys,” he says eagerly with a hand at your elbow to guide you across the darkened pavement.

Every step leads you closer to the van, to the band, to the impending night, and you find yourself second-guessing your outfit for the umpteenth time that day. You wonder if you’re underdressed, and whether you should have cowboyed up and opted for the skirt, which you’d decided was a bit much for the occasion.

Was it the skirt or the fantasy that went with it?

The world may never know.

“Guys!” Gareth calls once you get within distance, “You know–” when he says your name, their heads snap to tandem attention in a way that reminds you of meerkats.

It might have been funny if it wasn’t for the way they stand there gawping at you, eyes big as dinner plates and out on stalks.

The silence that hangs between you is deafening, and standing there under such intense scrutiny you can’t help but feel suddenly like you’ve made a terrible mistake.

You twist your fingers out of nervous habit and shift from foot to foot, wondering if you’re allowed to be here, or whether Gareth remembered to mention that he’d invited you out tonight.

“Well, say something, for Christ’s sake,” Gareth says through his teeth.

“Oh, r-right… hi–” Jeff stammers, tripping over your name like it’s a hot coal sitting on his tongue.

Adam is not so smooth.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, like he absolutely cannot fathom that you, of all people would coincidentally be here at the same time as them, and certainly not for their benefit.

It makes you feel frighteningly out of place and you have to force yourself to put down roots to stop yourself from turning right around and going back to your car.

Before Gareth can finish telling him to shut the fuck up, a figure appears from the shadowy depths of the van and your lungs go flat.

Lo and behold — Eddie Munson, in the flesh.

Just the sight of him makes every part of your brain light up like a cathedral and chant his name as if it were singing Hallelujah.

Eddie Eddie Eddie!

He’s halfway through some tirade and stumbling over a thick black cord that he has somehow become hopelessly tangled in.

“Hey – you assholes are doing a lot of standing around and yapping for–” he is saying before he looks up, sees you, and cuts himself off with a startled yelp of your name.

Despite the semi-comical octave to which he speaks your name, your insides flood with warmth as he practically falls out of the van. He skips over, dragging what you quickly come to realize is a microphone with him in his simultaneous attempt to free himself and close the distance between you.

It goes about as well as anyone could expect.

Before you know it, you’re standing toe to toe in the span of a heartbeat, and like a balm to your worries, you forget that you were ever nervous about being here tonight. You forget the awkwardness of Gareth’s friends, your stress over your outfit, and the lengths you went to be here, because here he is, staring back at you like everything else has melted away.

All is once again right in the world.

“Hi!” He says, quickly wiping his grimy hands down the front of the ridiculously tight jeans he’s wearing, the ones you’re desperately trying not to notice or wonder just how he’d managed to get into.

“Hi, Eddie,” You purr, feeling the muscles in your cheeks already beginning to pull for how wide you’re smiling at him.

Eddie Eddie Eddie.

Had you been looking, you might have noticed the way the rest of the band was watching you, exchanging looks of varying degrees, throwing elbows and shushing each other, but you’re not looking, not at anything but the beautiful boy standing before you.

His hair is wild, like always, but tonight Eddie’s got what looks like dark kohl liner smudged messily around his eyes and half rubbed off, like he’d tried something new and immediately second guessed it. It’s so incredibly endearing that it makes your heart throb in the stupid cupid fashion you’ve been chasing ever since that Thursday in the woods.

Your veins flood with ecstasy and just like that, you’ve got the fix you’ve been itching for all week.

With his tight jeans, the thick studded belt bursting out of its loops, all his chains and rings, steel-toed boots, and the faded band tee cropped at the waist and shoulders you can see him wearing underneath his jacket, he looks like something off the cover of Rolling Stone Magazine.

He’s dressed like the guy who would push you up against the wall and rip your skirt off, and you’ve never felt more like a stupid girl with a silly little crush than you do now.

It might almost be intimidating if it weren’t for the way that he’s looking right back at you, as if you hung the moon and the stars and were personally responsible for the shining magic of the cosmos.

Like the guy who would take his time unbuttoning your jeans.

You look at him, and he looks right back at you, and you feel something begin to flutter in the space behind your lungs — something warm and frantic, like the beating of a tiny bird’s wings.

Right now, standing in this parking lot, you could be the only two people in the world, and you’d be just fine with it.

And then, there is a cough, a conspicuously cleared throat, and the spell is broken.

Eddie shakes his head, like waking from a trance and simultaneously pulling you from yours.

“What - uh- what are you doing here?” He asks – it hits you like a fist to the gut. “Not that it isn’t great to see you… it’s just— I didn't expect to see you.”

Oh.

You can feel the corners of your mouth twitch where your smile begins to falter.

“I came to see your show,” You say quietly, fighting a losing battle against the tide of your nerves as they come rushing back in with enough force to sweep you under.

Eddie’s dark ringed eyes go wide and his mouth falls open, and you feel a cold lump drop into the pit of your stomach with a hollow thump.

“You did?” he gasps, voice lilting up into that comical octave again, “Really?”

Oh, great. So, nobody knew you were coming.

For as mortifying as that is, it doesn’t sting half as badly as the disappointment battering you over how you’d spent your afternoon thinking Eddie was as excited to see you as you were to see him.

He didn’t even know you were coming — stupid Gareth.

Suddenly, your subconscious is whispering horrible things to you: maybe he doesn’t like you as much as he’d originally let on. Maybe that moment you shared out in the woods was all in your head, maybe you’d misread the signs and he was just being nice for the sake of the loser virgin, tripping over herself to try and win the affections of the local drug dealer.

It makes you feel particularly stupid about how you’d sat there at a soggy picnic bench out in the woods, desperately waiting for Eddie to kiss you – why the fuck would he kiss you? He doesn’t even know you.

You can’t even touch how embarrassed you are about how much time you’d spent fantasizing about him undressing you.

Christ, you’re pathetic. But you’re also here, and you ought to at least try to make an effort to appear like you’re not the socially inept loser everybody seems to think you are.

“Oh, y-yeah… I mean, it’s no big deal.” you fumble to explain, gesturing vaguely like it’s going to help smooth over the growing awkwardness of this moment

Maybe if you keep talking, nobody will get the chance to say anything that sounds too much like a rejection.

You give your best approximation of a casual shrug and continue.

“Gareth invited me.” You say, and somehow it feels oddly accusatory, “He said it was cool… unless…”

Uncertainty makes you strangely brave, brave enough to lean into the awkwardness of the moment at least – if there’s one thing you’ve learned after years of being Carol’s punching bag, it’s that if you can’t beat the joke, join in.

“…Unless?” Eddie prompts.

You furrow your brow.

“Unless he conveniently failed to mention that I was coming?”

Of course, the moment your gaze snaps over to regard him with a harsh, unforgiving glare is when Gareth conveniently decides it’s time to get back to hauling gear.

With a fistful of each of their shirts, he drags the others away, spouting some bullshit about “call times” and “sound check” and leaves you standing there with Eddie in the chasm of the awkward silence fighting tooth and nail to settle snugly between you.

You refuse to give it the satisfaction as you watch them retreat, and you make a displeased sound.

Bastard coward sons of bitches. A pox on all their houses.

“Well,” you start, “This is awkward, I don’t mind saying…”

Once the rest of the band has circled around to disappear beyond the far side of the van, you begin to feel the faintest hint of that same warmth from the woods settling over you, and you take a chance to lean into Eddie’s space.

“Hey, listen,” you say dropping your tone, “It was great seeing you — really, it was … but if it’s totally weird that I’m here I can take off—”

“Oh, no!” Eddie says a tad too loud. His voice rings out and echoes across the empty spaces before he reigns his enthusiasm in, “No – it’s not weird! You should totally stay!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, for sure. You should definitely stay, right guys?” You look just in time to see a nondescript door set into a wall of the bar slamming shut, leaving the two of you alone in the cold, “…Whatever, forget those assholes — I’m glad you’re here.”

And there you go grinning your face off again.

“You are?”

“Yeah, are you kidding? It’s awesome to see you. Also, nobody’s ever actually come to see us play, so that makes you the closest thing to a fan we’ve got.”

“Oh, good.” You say.

“Great.”

“Excellent.”

“Fan-tastic.” He says, stretching the word lyrically and moving to shut the back doors of the van with a hard THUNK, “Only you gotta do something for me if you’re gonna stick around,”

You move quickly to fall into step as Eddie starts toward the side door set in between a stack of pallets and a dumpster. The same one the others had only just slipped through.

“What’s that?” You ask, doing your best to pretend that you don’t smell the toxic waste that is bar trash permeating the air.

He yanks the door open and reveals the murky interior of the Hideout, waiting just beyond like the portal to another world.

The smell of wet trash is quickly overwhelmed by the strong tang of smoke and alcohol, hitting you in a wave of thick, roiling air. You grit your teeth as it washes over you, accompanied by the tinny din of a Jimmy Buffett song playing over the jukebox.

“You have to promise you’re gonna cheer super loud to balance out all the booing,” he says, holding the door open for you, “We aren’t exactly what you’d call popular with the local wildlife.”

You have to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from telling him that Gareth already warned you of that during his earlier sales pitch.

Something along the lines of “we’re terrible, please come see us play,” had been uttered as a backdrop to your giggling over learning the name of the band, back when it was only a silly anecdote and you knew nothing of the gravity of the invitation.

You banish the thought to the back of your mind and bite down harder on your cheek to try and distract from the way you can feel your heart beating against your ribs as Eddie’s hand comes up to hover at the small of your back, ushering you inside.

“I can do that.” You say with a quick nod.

“Perfect – after you, M’lady.”

You almost don’t remember to be worried about getting into the bar when Eddie guides you over the threshold with a short, sweeping gesture.

The side door deposits you at the far end of the bar, and despite only the slightest change in atmosphere, it takes your eyes a moment to adjust to the neon signage and overhead bulbs.

All your fears of bouncers and fake IDs dissipate when you arrive and there is no one waiting to card you on the other side.

You do your best to breathe as subtle a sigh of relief as you can, because you made it, you’re in, whatever that means for the rest of your night.

The Hideout is a full-on hick dive, as much as you expected. Booth seating, pool tables, and the vaguest suggestion of a bandstand in the far back corner next to the jukebox where you finally see Gareth and the others again. They’re busying themselves with the task of setting up amps and instruments beneath a slapdash Corroded Coffin banner hung crookedly over the drumkit.

It’s clearly homemade and looks very much like it has been spray painted, black over red on a stained white bed sheet. It’s incredibly tacky in the most endearing way.

The bar is not too terribly full for seven-forty-five on a Tuesday night, though in taking in the faces of the blue-collar working-class patrons, the general décor, and the type of music shuffling through the jukebox as the track turns over to play Loretta Lynn, you can’t help but feel that this is not really their crowd.

Not really your crowd, you tell yourself, not that you have the experience to know such a thing.

If you thought you felt out of place before, standing among the band, the feeling is amplified tenfold as you begin to notice the way half a dozen people have turned around to gawp curiously at you.

Of course, it doesn’t occur to you that the reason they’re staring is that you’re standing there tucked in against Eddie Munson, who you also had not realized was standing so close to you.

You erupt into a fever of goosebumps as you rock back on your heels and feel the contours of his chest graze your shoulder blades. Eddie’s hand comes up to grip you kindly by the shoulder as he guides you further into the dingy building and starts to give you the rundown.

You do your best to focus on his words to keep yourself grounded, trying to assure yourself that you’re allowed to be here.

If he’s not nervous, you’re not nervous.

“We’re gonna go on soonish,” he says, depositing you at an empty barstool, separated from where a handful of patrons sit nursing their drinks, “– we’ll probably play for like half an hour, maybe longer depending on how many songs they let us play.”

“How many songs do they usually let you play?” You ask, having to project your voice to be heard over the din of the bar.

You do your best to hop up onto the stool in a way that is cool and elegant as you have almost perfected with your squat metal seat back in Mr. Kapz’s class. This one is taller than you’d estimated, however, and you immediately find yourself struggling to get up over the lip of the polished wood.

Eddie, ever the gentleman, doesn’t hesitate to help you up and steady you.

“Three or four,” He hums without missing a beat. “Our record is six, but that was only one time, so I wouldn’t hold my breath for that many with this crowd. Also, don’t be surprised if they pull the plug on us — like, literally kill the power.”

“You’re kidding…”

“It’s no big deal, it’s just something they like to do in this fine establishment.”

He says it like it's funny, but suddenly you can’t help but think back to Gareth’s plea that you come and watch them play. For the first time since he’d invited you that afternoon, you are suddenly struck wondering just what you have really gotten yourself into – you have no idea what kind of music they play, whether they’re halfway decent or as terrible as Gareth let on.

You have to work to remind yourself that, regardless of the quality of Corroded Coffin, you’re here to support your friends.

Which is only really half true – you’re here for Eddie.

You’re watching him closely when another body appears at his side and claps a loud, forceful hand down on his shoulder. Your heart spasms in tandem with the way Eddie jumps under the sudden contact, and you brace yourself for whatever is coming as his head whips around to address his assailant.

Then, much to your patent relief, his features light up and his face splits into a wide grin.

“Oh, hey! Wayne!” He yelps with a rush of boyish excitement, “What’re you doing here? Are you gonna watch us play?”

The man – evidently Wayne – wheezes out a chuckle that is a little too sarcastic to be kind before answering, speaking in a thick Appalachian drawl that is bizarrely out of place in this town.

“I get enough of y’all’s music at home, thanks very much. Just sayin’ hi on my way out,” he rasps, squeezing Eddie’s shoulder with an unmistakable affection before turning his bright blue eyes on you, “Who’s yer friend?”

Eddie makes quick introductions, and once names have been traded back and forth, Wayne touches the brim of his faded ballcap.

“Pleased to meet you,”

“Oh – sure. I mean, likewise,” you stammer, stiffening your spine to keep yourself from wilting under the intensity of the man’s gaze.

It’s almost intrusive, and makes you feel like you need to go home and put on another layer of clothing just to keep him from seeing your deepest, darkest, inner most thoughts and feelings.

X-ray specs got nothing on this man’s penatrative gaze, and when it's just about enough to send you crawling out of your skin, then there goes Eddie saving your life again.

“Isn’t it bad luck to wear a hat indoors?” He asks with a mischievous smirk.

Wayne catches him expertly by the wrist as he reaches for the hat, like he’s a certified expert at avoiding such a motion, and guides Eddie’s ring-bedecked digits safely away from his headwear.

“Bad luck to put a hat on a bed.” Wayne corrects, “Bad luck to open an umbrella indoors.”

Eddie snorts as he takes his hand back and nudges you with his elbow, gentlemanly letting you in on the joke.

“Wayne’s a nut for that kinda stuff.” He says, gesturing to the older man with no small amount of humor, like it’s simply the goofiest thing anyone has ever heard. “Real superstitious,”

It doesn’t feel mean, so much as a deep set rapport built over a lifetime of back and forth like this.

Wayne makes a thick, gravelly sound in the back of his throat which you recognize as the beginning rattle of a smoker’s cough.

“Least I know where the bad luck’s comin’ from when it shows up,” The man hums, “Anyways. What time are y’all goin’ on?”

“In a few minutes. Why?”

In lieu of answering, Wayne just hums again, thoughtfully so this time. Then that bright gaze slides back over to you.

“They got earplugs behind the bar if you ask for ‘em,” Wayne says with a clipped gesture, “Just so’s you know.”

“Hey—!” Eddie begins with all the moody indignance of a child.

Wayne cuts him off with raised hands, begging no offense.

“Just tryin’ to be neighborly in case yer friend don’t know what she’s gettin’ into,” He stresses, “Y’ever heard these fellers play?”

“Uh, well— no, actually, I—” you start,

Wayne’s brows jump.

“Like skinnin’ a cat,”

It sends you right back to the incident in the quad the week before, to what Eddie had said about Carol’s screeching tirade, and suddenly the look Wayne is giving you is so familiar it’s almost eerie.

You realize with a start that it’s the exact same look Eddie gave you out in the quad.

The resemblance is uncanny. The joke, however, does not land.

“Well, it was nice seeing you, Wayne,” Eddie fumes, clapping the man on the shoulder in a stilted mirror image of the way he’d done a moment before and maneuvering him past you.

If you didn’t know better, you might have said that the faintest flush of color had bled into Eddie’s cheeks, but you tell yourself you don’t as he pushes Wayne past you and attempts to maneuver him out.

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

Wayne stops short then, turns, and gives Eddie a very stern look, thrusting a finger up at him in a way that feels oddly paternal as he warns him with a low utterance of, “Hey now,”.

You know that look well enough from having seen it on your father. It means “watch your tone”, and it does the job it’s meant to.

You watch as Eddie puts his hands up and retreats a step, and the tension dissipates before it’s even had the chance to settle.

Suddenly, they’re friends again and your brain is crawling out of your skull with curiosity over who this man is to Eddie – what a strange dynamic they have, decidedly charged with something but clearly softened by a kind of underlying affection.

Almost like family – exactly like family, you realize.

If you didn’t know better, you might almost guess that this man was Eddie’s father, but of course that couldn’t be true, because you know exactly where Al Munson is meant to be, and it’s not here at the Hideout.

After a quick back and forth that you only catch bits and pieces of, Wayne gives you one last parting look, brows jumping.

“I’m serious about them earplugs.” He says, then claps Eddie on the back as he takes his leave. “See you at home, Bud,”

“Yeah, okay… later.” He mutters – he gestures after the man once he’s gone, “My uncle.” Eddie explains, and suddenly everything makes a little more sense.

You just had the pleasure of meeting the elusive other Munson, who you’d heard talk of around town, but whose reputation (or lack thereof) has been vastly overshadowed by the likes of his brother and nephew.

“He seems nice.” You offer for lack of anything better to say.

“Yeah, he thinks he’s real funny with those earplugs – weird seeing him here though, he usually drinks out at The Attic on — hey, what’s the matter?” Eddie asks suddenly, brows creeping toward one another to form a deep crease of concern between them, “You’re not scared are you?”

You swallow hard and try not to stare at him, suddenly backed in a multicolor glow as the stage lights come on, leaving him looking like some kind of ethereal rock god.

“No.” You lie.

Eddie grins at you like he knows you’re fibbing, and he reaches up to touch your arm.

You do your best to suppress a shiver under the way he gently squeezes you there.

“Hey, you showing up like this? Biggest thing anybody’s ever done for me. Y’think I’d let anything happen to you after that?”

He barely gives you time to read into the sentiment before something over your head draws his attention and the moment ends.

“Anyway, you’re perfectly safe. Laverne here’s gonna look after you,” He gestures to the space behind you, “Right Laverne?”

You turn to see the woman behind the bar that he is speaking to, face split into that big, winning smile of his — a little sleazier than it was a moment before — and are suddenly struck by the knowledge that this is the second person Eddie has introduced you to in this place in less than two minutes.

You catch yourself wondering just how much time he spends skulking around this bar as a tall, middle-aged woman with a big cloud of frizzy hair dyed a red so deep it’s nearly purple comes into view.

Laverne — the bartender, evidently.

She’s got a blown-out tattoo on her bicep that you think must have been a snake at one point in time, and her massive, freckled breasts are just about spilling out of the top of her too-tight tank top, stretching the name of the bar until it’s almost illegible. She looks entirely too rock and roll for this place, like some kind of a transplant from a seedy biker joint on the Sunset Strip.

By the way she’s glaring at Eddie, you can tell that she is immune to his attempts at charm.

“I don’t pay you to stand around flirting.” Laverne drawls, jerking her thumb over her shoulder toward what you can only imagine is the back of house, “An’ you left a whole pile’a dishes stacked up back there when you ran out to put yer makeup on.”

Eddie’s grin wavers under the impromptu lecture and you can’t help but feel your insides squirm on his behalf.

“Gee, Laverne, I never knew you liked me so much,” he tries, but she is not done.

“Don’t you think for one second I’m gonna cover yer ass so’s you can cut out early an’ go diddle yourself or whatever it is you do on your own time. When yer here, yer on my time, an’ I don’t appreciate my time bein’ wasted, so, who d’you reckon is gonna do them dishes, Junior?”

All the sleazy charm ekes right out of him and you watch as Eddie goes white as a sheet.

“Green around the gills” is what a distant relative of yours would have called the look on his face, and you can’t say you disagree.

You have to resist the urge to reach out and put a steadying hand on him, purely on babysitting instinct, because if you didn’t know any better – which you don’t – you’d think he was about to keel over, and it’s almost startling.

Based on his schooltime bravado, part of you imagines Eddie would be made of stronger stuff in the face of such ire, but you’re quickly beginning to understand that the Eddie you know from school is not an accurate depiction of the man behind the mask. Then again, you’re not certain you know anyone who would be able to stand there and take a dressing down like that, so maybe Eddie is made of that elusive “stronger stuff” after all.

Suddenly, you can’t help but imagine what would have happened in the alternate universe where Carol found herself here with you, standing in his place. You’d like to see her try running her mouth then, face to face with the likes of Madam Hideout.

Back in the real world, Eddie casts a wary gaze in your direction before answering the woman who you have quickly come to realize is his boss.

“I’ll do ‘em after,” he mumbles, suddenly much less an ethereal rock god and more a sullen child.

The muscle in Laverne’s jaw flexes as she grits her teeth, and you can suddenly see her right at home standing behind a great oak bar in a saloon, eyes shaded in a big Stetson, spitting a fat gob of dark, rotten chaw to the sawdust floor as she chews through her thick Texan drawl.

“They shoulda been done b’fore you punched out.” She spits in the tobacco-less, non-Old West version of herself.

“I’ll do them after, Laverne.” Eddie insists, sliding back into the boyish indignance from before.

She rolls her eyes and stalks off, muttering something unintelligibly rude as she goes, and an indiscernible emotion wells painfully in your chest. It is deeply offended on Eddie’s behalf, whatever it is, and moves you to want to protect him, though you don’t know how you would manage to do that.

You don’t typically feel this way about anyone over the age of twelve, and don’t know whether to try and pick a fight with Laverne or to drag Eddie out to the parking lot where you’ll be safe from the ire of rude bartenders – that’s what you would have done with Dustin had you encountered a bully somewhere out in the wild, but somehow you can’t imagine either scenario going over well with Eddie swapped for Dustin.

The lack of options leaves you paralyzed, and by the time Eddie is talking again, you’ve gone and said nothing in his defense.

The indignant emotion deflates and leaves you feeling cold and guilty.

“Yeah, that Laverne…” he says, “She’s a real peach.”

You watch the woman saunter to lean over the end of the bar furthest from you, and once you are almost certain she is out of earshot, you lean in close.

“Do you work here?” You ask in a stage whisper, if only to be heard over the din of the music and murmuring conversations.

Eddie’s gaze snaps back down to you and you watch as he grows suddenly and strangely shy. You can see his guard cautiously slipping into place as he reaches up to scratch at the back of his neck and offers you a lopsided shrug.

“Few nights a week, yeah.” He admits, almost like he’s embarrassed to have been caught in the conundrum of playing a set in the place where he works, “Pays the bills, y’know?”

You wonder how much of the interaction with Wayne followed directly by the one with Laverne is coloring this moment, and you’re mortified to have put him in this situation.

If you weren’t here, he would be up on the bandstand with the rest of the guys instead of looking after you, and both interactions may very well have been avoided entirely. Suddenly, you’re desperate to take responsibility for your presence and put him at ease.

“That’s cool.” You tell him, and for once, it is exactly the right thing to say.

Eddie immediately brightens.

“You think so?” He asks.

You nod, because if you’re not nervous, then he doesn’t have to be, right? Suddenly, this interaction feels a lot like babysitting, and you take no small amount of comfort in the familiarity of it, even if Eddie is most certainly the one babysitting you here at the bar.

“Totally! You’re basically getting paid to play a gig every week – do you know how many bands would kill for that?”

Eddie’s face splits up into that big, toothy grin.

“Yeah, exactly!” He starts before second-guessing his tone and attempting to reign in his enthusiasm, “I mean – hey, it’s not Saturday night at the Garden, but a gig’s a gig. At least until we can get the band off the ground and get a record–”

Over the rumble of the bar, you hear somebody shouting from the direction of the bandstand – Jeff, you think. His voice is laced with annoyance as if this is the third or fourth time he’s called Eddie, and he is quickly losing his patience.

“MUNSON!” He shouts, “LET’S GO!”

Eddie twists at the sound of his name and you watch as he pulls a face, almost like he’d forgotten there was a greater purpose to being here other than standing around chatting you up at the bar.

“Whoopsie – guess that’s my cue.” He says, shrugging out of his jacket as he turns back to you, “Hold on to this for me, will you?”

Your heart rockets up into your throat and you hope that Eddie can’t see how your fingers are trembling as you accept his jacket and hold it against you.

You clench your teeth to keep something cheesy from floating up past your lips like you’ll guard it with your life.

You think you must be making a face, then, one Eddie mistakes for anxiety as he gives you a soft look and his voice turns gentle.

“You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.” He assures you, “You’re with the band, remember? Fan numero uno.”

He raises a finger to emphasize the notion, and you nod, watching him turn and trying to beat back the spike of fear that surges in you when he leaves you sitting at the bar.

He’s fine if you’re fine, and you’re fine if he’s fine, but only so long as you’re enveloped in the safety blanket of his presence – but you remind yourself that you’re a big girl.

If you can lie to everyone you know and sneak out of the house to slip into a bar to see a band, you can sit alone in a room full of strangers for a few minutes before the band starts to play.

And yet, sitting there, watching Eddie move into the crowd, you’re suddenly struck with the sensation of how stridently you don’t want to be left alone in this place where you so clearly don’t belong. But you don’t have to be so overt about it, so you shout at Eddie’s back in the far-off hope that it will make him turn around and look at you once more.

“Y’know, you keep saying that,” you start, “But I haven’t even heard you play!”

He turns on his heel and shoots you full of holes with that big, goofy grin of his.

“Oh man, you’re gonna love us!” He calls back, and you can’t help but snort out an undainty laughter.

“That’s not what Gareth said!”

Eddie pulls a face and cups a hand at his ear like he didn’t hear you before throwing a shrug and disappearing into the throng of people milling about the pool tables.

You take great comfort in the fact that for as cool as you think he is, you are starting to understand that he is an incredible dork. That makes things so much easier, especially with how you want so desperately for him to like you as much as you like him.

And you like him so, so much.

Too much – it doesn’t feel like just a schoolyard crush anymore, not since the moment you shared out in the woods, and again back in the parking lot, and just now, here at the bar.

Sitting here, with a big dopey look on your face and hearts in your eyes, you think you could very easily fall for Eddie as you watch him jump up onto the bandstand and exchange an indiscernible something with Gareth, grinning wolfishly as he does.

You’re almost too busy sifting for gems through the last five minutes of conversation to realize what you just told yourself – you think you could fall pretty hard for Eddie Munson.

The thought startles you enough that you have to move to try and escape the way it makes you feel, twisting on the stool to face the bar. You sit there, letting the din of the environment wash over you in sickly waves of overstimulation, and you remind yourself of what Gareth originally assured you about this outing.

Not like a date. He said. Just as friends.

In the wake of your most recent revelation, the idea stings just a little bit more than you are prepared to endure.

Then, there is the abrasive sound of a throat being cleared. It’s only then that you look up and find yourself face-to-face with Madam Hideout herself.

Laverne gives you a hard side eye from where she stands at the tap directly to your right, pouring a tall pint of foamy beer.

If you’re blushing, you hope she can’t tell under the deep, colored lighting.

You try to smile at her, but it’s little more than a flattening of your lips as your mouth stretches horizontally, and somehow you know it isn’t coming across as polite as you’d intended. She doesn’t reciprocate.

Behind you, an amp flares with staticky feedback that makes your hair stand on end as someone plugs in a guitar.

The sound of a dozen disgruntled barflies rumbles through the room as the band finishes setting up, and you find yourself witness to a sudden mass exodus. You twist in your seat again and watch as at least half of the patrons very quickly make their way out into the parking lot, following Wayne Munson’s lead after the fact.

By the time the herd has been thinned, the room is not empty by any means, but you can suddenly see the bandstand at the far end of the room where you couldn’t before. It gives you the perfect vantage of Eddie.

Corroded Coffin has similarly noticed how the room has cleared out, much to their own varying degrees of chagrin. Eddie is fumbling with the strap on his guitar, adjusting the length as he scans the room with a furrowed brow – then, as he finds you, right where he left you, his face splits into that same wide grin.

Suddenly shy under the cast of his attention, you gesture to the state of the room – get a load of these guys – and give an overexaggerated shrug. He responds in kind by sticking his tongue out at you and you feel your insides go tight and squirmy.

You don’t even realize how you’ve been grinning back at him until your face starts to hurt, and as quickly as the spotlight finds you, it’s gone again when Jeff leans over to say something to Eddie, snatching his attention away and leaving you sitting there alone on your stool again.

Brimming with what you would argue is too many feelings to process all at once, you reach around to grip the bar and spin yourself in a tight circle, hoping that maybe a little gravity will help sort out those big scary emotions.

“Quit that spinnin’.” Laverne snaps. “I ain’t moppin’ your little brains up off this floor if you fall.”

“Sorry.” You say immediately, bracing yourself on the bar to stop from going around once more – tragically, it leaves you facing her and the apparent disdain she holds for you, simply by way of association.

You avert your gaze.

Somewhere, you can hear the theme to Cheers playing distantly over the muted rumbling of half a dozen conversations.

…sometimes you wanna go, where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came…

Some less than others.

When you work up the courage to chance a look, you find that Laverne is still staring daggers at you. More than that, a cursory glance reveals that most of the people still sitting down the length of the bar are stealing curious looks at you.

You can feel your throat going dry under the attention of so many strange eyes. It’s not that you’re necessarily an inherently shy person, only that without Eddie to bolster you, the feeling of being somewhere you clearly do not belong is attempting to crush you flat.

You do your best to make yourself as small as humanly possible as the beginning of a beat gets thumped out on the drum set before abruptly stopping.

Soundcheck.

Your mouth is suddenly full of cobwebs, and you muster your courage to steal one more look at Laverne, whose eyes you can still feel burning holes into the top of your skull.

You peek up at her, hoping her ire will have eased, as if miraculously in the last thirty-seconds you’d done something to earn her respect.

No dice.

“Do you think I could get a coke?” You ask, cringing inwardly as your voice wavers and cracks.

You don’t really want the overpriced, watered-down soda she’s bound to give you, but you’re willing to do anything to distract from how much you stick out among the half-drunk onlookers pressing their faces in on you like kids at the zoo.

Thank God for the shield of Eddie’s jacket, you are once again so thankful you’d foregone the tight little skirt and boots combo.

Laverne gives you a hard look, and you feel a twinge of sudden bravery begin worming its way through your midsection. This time, you stare back at her.

Then, she throws a dish towel over her shoulder as she makes her way to you, chunky Doc Marten’s thumping hard on the spongy mat behind the bar.

As uncomfortable as you are to be sitting there under her gaze, some nagging part of you at the back of your tongue meets the annoyed twinge steadily rising in you, and together, they wish she would climb down out of your ass already.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, she pulls the trigger on the soda nozzle and fills a dark red, textured glass to the brim – no ice.

She sets the drink on the bar in front of you with a hard thump and you watch the foam leap up over the brim of the cup and spill down the side before dissipating with a soft hissing.

Laverne pops a straw into the cup and somehow it feels like an insult, like something Carol would have done.

You’re supposed to inhale, Dummy! pared down to a simple gesture with that same patent disdain.

Still, you’re nothing if not fatally imbued with unflinching manners, and the words are tumbling out over your lips before you can stop them.

“Thank you,” you mumble, and the nagging little voice on the back of your tongue cries out at your treachery.

Laverne grunts out a response and quirks a thin, penciled brow at you.

It takes her forever to speak, and you wish the band would just start playing already so that you would have an excuse to turn your back to her.

“The Chief’s been known to frequent this place,” she begins, and in a brief moment of deep confusion, all you can do is stare at her, waiting for her to clarify, “Of Police.”

You have no idea what to do with that information.

“Oh,” you say dumbly, “You don’t say,”

She nods.

“Might even be inclined to call him a regular customer,”

Somehow, you can’t help but get the sense that it’s less a statement of fact than it is a threat, and if that is the case, you can’t deny that it’s more or less effective.

The last thing you need right now is to find yourself sitting, wilting under the gaze of Chief Hopper while he reads you the riot act and lists in detail everything you’ve ever done to make you such a terrible person — faking sickness and sneaking out to go and see a boy you’re sweet on in a bar you’re not old enough to be sitting in when by all rights you should be sitting on the Henderson’s couch watching He-Man.

For lack of a better response, you twist idly on your chair, nice and slow so Laverne can see you do it and come all the way back around to the other side.

The phrase, “if looks could kill” passes through your mind for a brief, yet terrifying second – something in the back of your mind is inexorably calm as it assures you that you haven’t done anything wrong.

You’re supposed to be here. You’re with the band, no matter how anyone may happen to feel about that.

Leaning over the bar and taking a long, innocent sip from your straw, you make a show of swallowing, smack your lips, and shrug.

“Funny. I don’t see him.”

In spite of all your affected cool, you feel your guts twinge with anxiety when Laverne levels you with a hard look and crosses her thick, tattooed arms over her generous bosom. Suddenly you’re half worried you’re about to be “bounced” or whatever the official term for being forcibly ejected from a bar is – one more for the list in your long night of firsts.

Then, in a shocking turn of events, the corner of the woman’s lip twitches in the faintest hint of a smile, violently suppressed, of course.

You’re oddly pleased, in the way only a goody-two-shoes like yourself can be under the attention of anyone who could even remotely be perceived as a figure of authority.

“How old are you?” Laverne demands.

Just like that, the twinge blossoms to a nagging feeling of angry defiance, lurking far in the back of your throat.

Stupid question. You think, biting the inside of your cheek, because it’s not like you’d tried to order a beer.

“Forty-five.” You say, matter-of-factly, suddenly unable to adjust your tone as you remember how rudely she’d spoken to Eddie before.

She holds you in that hard, deadpan gaze.

“That’s funny,” She sniffs, “Bet your rock star boyfriend thinks you’re real funny too.” She hurls it at you like a slur and your heart spasms and lurches up into your throat.

“Oh, he’s not my—” but the bartender is already walking away, so you clamp your mouth shut and hum out your annoyance.

You swallow hard.

Boyfriend.

The word clangs around in your ribcage, and you wonder if that’s what people assume when they see you and Eddie together.

Just like that, you’re feeling breathless again.

No wonder your teachers are all so freaked out – you don’t get the time to worry about that before Eddie’s voice cuts through the room and strikes you square in the back.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’d like to thank you all for coming out tonight–” he says smoothly into the microphone, “Before we start the show, we’d just like to say one thing…”

You turn in your seat and find yourself immediately locked in his gaze. Even across the room, it sends a chill up your spine and goosebumps flashing across the expanse of your body.

You’re gripped in the feeling that suddenly, you’re the only two people in this room, that no matter what happens next, it will be for your eyes only, and you’ll cherish that to the end of time.

Eddie leans in, grips the microphone and looks you dead in the eye.

“This one goes out to all the ladies.”

Oh. Nevermind.

“Oh, my God,” You say under your breath.

Boo. Hiss.

He’s so uncool, you can’t stand how much you like him.

The strike of sticks on cymbals masks the agonized groan that rumbles throughout the bar and with the first few hard chords, the show begins.

Corroded Coffin is not the greatest band in the world, but they’re also far from the worst.

It was an over-exaggeration on Gareth’s part to say that they’re terrible; they can carry a tune, they’re mostly on key and in sync, and that’s more than you can say you expected from how you’d been prepared.

You find that they mostly play covers of metal songs – the likes of Judas Priest and Black Sabbath – which garners a general disinterest from the bar, save for one sloppy drunk biker who just about loses his mind when they go into a crunchy rendition of War Pigs.

You’re certainly losing your mind and falling a little bit harder than you’d expected you would be when you woke up that morning.

Eddie Munson in front of a cafeteria audience is one thing, but Eddie Munson on stage, a real-life honest-to-God stage is another animal entirely. As far as you are concerned, he was born and bred for the stage, and you’re enraptured, watching him move under the lights. The way he grips the neck of his guitar as he teases a melody out of the taught strings and growls into the microphone settles in your bones in a way you know is going to linger for months if not years to come.

It is mesmerizing in the most intoxicating way. If you thought tearing your eyes from him at school was difficult, you’re fairly certain you don’t blink from the start of their set to their less-than-grand finish.

They play a whopping five songs before someone unceremoniously kills the power, just as Eddie had prophesized.

“Bummer.” You hear someone groan out of the dark from the direction of the stage.

Luckily, it’s a total blackout to the whole bar, and not just the stage, saving the band any overt embarrassment in the face of their less-than-adoring public.

Your ears are ringing in the sudden absence of sound and the darkness lingers only a moment before the power comes back on again.

Loggins and Messina are back on the jukebox in an instant, the patrons turn back to their drinks, and just like that, your introduction to Corroded Coffin is cut short, one song shy of their record.

With the lights on and free from the cloying miasma that can only come from standing in the crowd at a rock show, you manage to claw your way back to your senses enough to remember your parking lot promise.

You surprise even yourself by erupting into a cacophony of thunderous applause, whooping, and hollering just like any self respecting number one fan would do. Then again, if you’re being completely honest, and if the drunk biker hollering unevenly doesn’t put up too much of a fight, you might happily accept the title.

It doesn’t take much effort to shoulder your way through the meager crowd, particularly with the way it is steadily thinning. Evidently, the end to the show was enough to call for an end to the night for a good number of people here at the Hideout.

You cross the room in a hop, skip, and a jump that deposits you at the foot of the bandstand, where you stand craning your head back nearly to the point of pain just to look up at the object of your affection.

You hold Eddie’s jacket clutched reverently against your chest and imagine your steadily beating heart imbuing it with all kinds of emotion — super-charging it with what Huey Lewis and the News is now telling you must be the power of love.

“You didn’t tell me you were good!” You cry, and are almost immediately chagrined.

You’re half deaf from the set and even through your screaming ears, you know you must be shouting. Worse than that is how you would dare to say something so incredibly awkward.

Why can’t you be cool for once in your stupid life?

Eddie is positively slick with sweat, pushing his hair back from his face and grinning again as he comes down to your level.

He drops into a squat you’re half surprised he can manage with just how tight his jeans are — the other half of you is too busy noticing how now that he’s down here, you’re almost nose to nose.

You try not to stare at his jeans, or the sweat dripping down from his hairline to grace the curve of his cheekbones and drip off the sharp line of his jaw. His shirt has gone semi-translucent and is clinging to his chest like a lover as you force yourself to meet his honey-warm gaze.

“You guys are great.” You try again, hoping it comes out sounding a little cooler this time around.

No such luck.

“Yeah? Well, what’d you expect, Sweetheart?” Eddie drawls, showing you his teeth in a way that makes your insides go tight — he tilts his head over to press his ear to his shoulder, “They don’t let just anyone up on this stage, you know.”

“Yes, they do.” Jeff counters from somewhere behind him, and you watch Eddie’s brows come down in aggravation, “Remember when they let that guy do forty minutes of close-up magic?”

Somewhere, very far away, Gareth is shrugging his shoulders from where he still sits, comfortably perched behind his drumkit.

“That guy wasn’t half bad.” he posits, much to the chagrin of his bandmates.

“That dude was wearing a cape.” Eddie scoffs.

“And you’re saying you wouldn’t?” Jeff snorts.

You’re too caught up in the way your heart is beating itself senseless against your ribs to hear the back and forth continue between them because Eddie called you Sweetheart.

Normally, you like to think such a pet name would leave you roiling in disgust, but nothing about the way you feel about Eddie is normal.

And you’re not being any shade of normal about this. Forget whatever bullshit it says on your birth certificate, forget all the little pet names anyone has ever given you — Eddie Munson reached down and christened you Sweetheart, and as far as you’re concerned, that’s your name now.

You feel like your head is going to crack open and burst with electric light as the name rattles around and around in your skull until it finds a tight little corner to wedge itself into and stay forever.

Sweetheart, Sweetheart, Sweetheart.

Sweetheart and Eddie.

Sweetheart Munson.

It’s so goddamn saccharine you’re almost surprised when your teeth don’t come tumbling out of your head.

As you get lost further down the road of delusional fancy, the band’s bickering carries on without you.

“I dunno… d’you guys think we should invest in capes?” Adam posits, and it’s almost enough to send Eddie into apoplectic shock.

“Corroded Coffin does not wear capes!” He snarls, and an intrusive little voice can’t help but beg to differ, because to you, Corroded Coffin sounds exactly like the type of band who would come out on stage wearing capes.

“At least he had style.” Gareth huffs, “And the crowd liked him a whole lot better than they like us, maybe we can learn something from Magical Marve.”

“Jesus Christ, you guys — you’re blowing it in front of our number one fan!” Eddie gestures to you as he says it and you blush bright red, suddenly terrified that you’ve been caught with hearts in your eyes as the rest of the band’s attention snaps over to you — their apparent number one fan.

In a few years, when you would read Misery, you would spend a full week brimming with resentment that Stephen King would dare to suggest that it could be anything but a term of endearment. But that was a thought for the future, and only because he wasn’t there to see Eddie Munson dub you Sweetheart.

Right here and now, you are just happy to be included. Because it’s like Eddie said before, you're with the band… who is still bickering as they go about the quick and dirty business of breaking down their equipment.

It takes a solid twenty minutes, even with you fumbling to try and help anyway you can. Your vision goes briefly spotty when Eddie hands you his guitar and asks you to “hold her a sec”, briefly — accidentally — hooking his pinky finger with yours in the exchange. A promise of something yet untold — his jacket, his guitar, anything he gives you, you’ll guard with your life.

It sounds just as stupid as you feared when you can’t stop yourself from saying it this time, but the way he laughs eases the sting of your embarrassment, if only a little.

When everything is more or less put away, moods have not yet recovered from the previous moment’s tiff, but Gareth is never one to be deterred.

“Come on, you guys. Why the long faces? That’s the longest set we’ve played in a while!” he says, nudging you with his elbow, “I’d say that’s reason enough to celebrate.”

It’s perhaps the first suggestion that night which isn’t immediately met with a dissenting chorus of booing and hissing.

“Yeah, what do you say, fellas?” Jeff throws a neighborly arm over Eddie’s shoulder and gives him a shake for good measure, “The Palace’ll still be open for a few hours, how’s about we order a couple pizzas, get a six pack and go for a few rounds of Dragon’s Lair? Quarters are on me.”

It sounds about as fun as any average Tuesday with Dustin and his friends, not nearly as special as anything you would do to celebrate such a monumental night as this, but being the guest here, you defer to the group. You look to their leader to gauge the appropriate reaction to Jeff’s suggestion, and you notice with a start that he does not share his friend’s enthusiasm.

Call it babysitter’s intuition, but you seem to be the only one who has noticed that Eddie’s mood has taken a sudden and immediate nosedive into the creaky laminate flooring.

Everyone else is too busy listening to Gareth get his feathers ruffled over the plan to notice Eddie’s exchanged look with Laverne, still tucked in at the back of the bar with her arms crossed.

You watch all of this happen with the privilege of blessed invisibility, preserving both the excitement of the moment and Eddie’s dignity as a decision is quietly made.

He’s not going.

Your heart sinks.

“Oh, so you’re just gonna oh-so-graciously offer to pay for the cheapest part of that plan?” Gareth snaps.

Jeff fishes a ring of keys from the front pocket of his jeans and jingles it in the other boy’s face.

If Eddie’s not going, you don’t want to go either, but you don’t dare embarrass yourself by saying that out loud, so you keep your mouth shut.

“I’m also gonna drive. You can be a cheap prick too when you get your license, Freshman.” Jeff says with no small amount of smugness, “What d’you say, Eddie? You in?”

He does his best to approximate an apologetic smile, then shakes his head, sweat damp curls bouncing as he does.

“Not tonight, I’ve got some stuff I gotta finish up here.”

He does his best not to look directly at you as he says it, but you’re starting to learn that if there is one thing Eddie has a hard time doing, it’s not looking at you. You aren’t sure how to process that information and for a brief yet terrifying moment, it swells inside you to the point of pain.

“You sure?” Gareth presses, glancing less than subtly between you and stretching his words past the point of pain, “Big night. Worth celebrating.”

You level him with an unimpressed look.

Real smooth Gareth, why not just spell it out for him?

Still, you suppose you have to give him Brownie points for trying because you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for him.

Eddie is already retreating when he gives his final answer, waving you off in a way that feels almost painfully casual.

“Yeah, no, you guys go ahead. I’ll catch up with you later.”

You watch him go, and he watches you watching him. You can’t tell for certain, but it feels almost as if something significant is passing you by, a moment you’ll never be able to get back if you don’t snatch it out of the air before it’s gone.

It fills you with a stinging burst of panic, especially when Eddie turns and lets you out of his sight.

You came here tonight to see him. You’re only here for him.

You’re almost shocked to hear your name being spoken then, and when you snap back over to reality, Jeff and Gareth are looking expectantly at you — Adam, who could evidently not care less who comes or stays, is already halfway to the door.

They had him at pizzas and a six-pack.

“—how ‘bout it?”

You blink back at them stupidly.

“Me?”

Jeff shrugs.

“Sure, it’s like the man said, you’re our biggest fan, you ought to share in the glory too.”

Strange how you had assumed that invitation would not be extended to you, stranger still is how you’re suddenly considering it.

Pizza and beer at the arcade is not the worst way you’ve ever spent a Tuesday night, but there is something nagging at you, stopping you from immediately accepting. It’s that same feeling as before, opportunity slipping past you and an incredibly powerful pull asking you whether you ought to stay as you turn back to watch Laverne step aside to make room for Eddie as he rounds the bar.

Stay? At a bar?

Where you have been so summarily informed that the chief of police is likely to pop up at any moment like a cheap jump scare in a bad horror movie?

It’s certainly not the worst idea you’ve ever had.

It’s not even the worst idea you’ve had all day.

“I think…” you start, “Actually, I think I’m gonna pass… it’s been a lot of excitement ...and my curfew is coming up soon.”

It’s not expressly untrue, but you feel a sharp pang of regret when Jeff shrugs and so willingly accepts your polite decline.

Part of you wishes that they would have fought a little harder to get you to come out – even Carol won’t take no for an answer the first time around – but that part of you is very quickly whipped back into shape.

You’re not here to hang out with Adam and Jeff and Gareth.

“Suit yourself,” he says flippantly, then claps Gareth on the back, “C’mon G.”

He doesn’t follow right away. Gareth, never one to miss a quiet exchange, remains, giving you a pointed look.

“What’s up?” He asks quietly, “You good?”

You wait for Jeff to get out of earshot, then lean in.

“...Do you think I should stay?” You ask.

Gareth’s brows furrow in a confusion that you can only imagine must be the mirrored echo of your own previous thoughts. You can almost hear him warning you that Chief Hopper hangs around here, and then something like realization flashes across his features as he glances past you.

You follow his gaze over to where Eddie is disappearing into the back, tying a dingy apron around his waist.

“Yes,” He says quickly, with a wide stretch of his mouth, “I think that’s exactly what you should do.”

“You do?”

“Yes, absolutely – you stay, and I’ll see you tomorrow,”

You watch Gareth disappear out the front doors and linger a moment beneath the multi-colored lights.

The jukebox has since flipped over to play Dusty Springfield, and she is warning you that being good isn’t always easy, no matter how hard you try, and it gives you courage enough to slink back to the bar, where your soda sits long empty.

“You’re not getting a refill, so don’t even ask.” Laverne snaps, startling you.

“I just wanted to pay for it.”

She makes a gruff sound in the hollow of her throat and begins wiping down the bar.

“It’s paid for.” She says reluctantly.

Before you can ask what that could possibly mean, she continues.

“So, I reckon you’re stayin’ behind.” It’s not exactly a question, so you don’t feel pressed to answer, and when you don’t, she hefts a tub of dishes up onto the flattop. “Why don’t you take this back to Junior, since you’re so keen on hangin’ around. Save me the trip.”

You look from Laverne to the dishes, and back again, feeling the wheels of your brain creaking under the duress of trying to see the invisible pitfall ahead of you.

“...Am I allowed to do that?” you finally manage to ask, and for half a moment Laverne stares back at you like it was the dumbest thing she's ever heard anyone say.

“I don’t give a shit” She finally huffs, “You do what you want, I’m goin’ out for a smoke.”

She’s gone out the side door in a flash, and it takes you far too long to work out the pieces – Eddie paid for your drink, and she’s giving you an excuse to go back and see him.

Boy, are you dense sometimes.

Still, you can’t help but wonder if it’s all some clunky ploy to get you thrown out of the bar. You also can’t help but wonder who is going to watch the bar while Laverne is gone, but you decide that isn’t your problem as you seize the plastic tub and heft it down to brace against your hip.

When you slip behind the bar and into the back, Eddie’s standing at the sink, elbow deep in suds and glaring at them like they’d personally wronged him.

You linger in the doorway, selfishly taking in as much of this candid moment as you can steal, and scrounging around for what is left of your courage.

“Hiya.” You say, once you find your voice.

It startles him bad enough to send him leaping back from the sink.

“Oh, shit,” Eddie says, stumbling over your name in a way that makes your insides go tight, “I – uh – I thought you left with the guys.”

“Nope.”

“What are you–?”

You tilt the dishtub toward him and jostle it in a way that is less tantalizing than you mean for it to be with the way the dishware shifts dangerously.

“Special delivery.”

Eddie’s brows come down over his eyes and his shoulders sag.

“...Oh, great. Thanks,” he says, then gestures to the metal surface piled high with dishes. “Just put ‘em wherever you can.”

The task is daunting. You’re not sure you’ve ever seen as many dishes in your life – it’s going to take him hours to get through them.

You tentatively shove the plastic bin in where you can fit it, careful not to disturb the topsyturvy stacking method that has been employed here, and linger idly as Eddie wipes his soapy hands on his jeans.

A measured silence settles between you, through which you can still hear the muted sounds of the bar trilling distantly on.

“What happened?” Eddie finally asks, “How come you didn’t go with the guys?”

“Oh, well…” you start, electing to fib a little rather than do something so embarrassing as tell him the only reason you’re here tonight, “You know, as thrilling as sitting around in a parking lot drinking cheap beer sounds, I figured somebody ought to stay behind and keep you company. And I figured since you bought me a drink and all, it ought to be me.”

He huffs out a humorless laugh.

“Lucky me.”

You try not to let the biting sarcasm of the response dig its teeth in as you continue.

“...That was sneaky, by the way. You didn’t have to do that.”

Eddie shrugs, and rests a hand on the curved metal lip of the three-basin sink.

“Least I could do for our biggest fan.”

He sounds less enthusiastic about that this time around and it is enough to make your stomach clench.

“...You guys were great, by the way.” You try again, for lack of anything better to say.

Eddie shakes his head.

“Nah, we weren’t. We were actually pretty rough, I’m surprised they let us play as long as they did … but thanks for making the effort, though.”

“Well… you were great.” You press, folding your hands behind your back and taking a step closer, “I mean, you were pretty much the best part of the show.”

Distantly, you see his eyebrows jump beneath the sweaty fringe drying tacky to his forehead. The corner of his mouth twitches.

“You keep stroking my ego like that and I’m gonna have to buy you dinner to go with that drink,” Eddie warns you, and something inside of you shrieks with unabashed hormonal joy.

You cannot think of anything more tantalizing than that … except for maybe one of your two fantasies from earlier in the evening, but neither of those scenarios is on the table for tonight.

At least, you’re fairly certain they aren’t.

You thank your lucky stars he’s so fixated on washing dishes that he can’t see the way you turn bright crimson.

“I’m serious. You were great, Eddie.”

It’s enough to finally make him look at you again.

“You think so?”

And of course, now that you have his attention, you can’t help but go embarrassing yourself.

“Yeah, absolutely. You’re a goddamn rockstar…”

He grins.

“D’you kiss your mother with that mouth, Sailor?”

You curl your lips in past your teeth on instinct and drop your gaze to your sneakers as the suggestion sends you hurtling back to the picnic bench in the woods behind school.

You’re so sure Eddie was going to kiss you out there – you watched his eyes go heavy and lidded as his gaze slid down to your lips. You saw the shift in his posture, the oh-so-subtle way he tilted forward, curling his hands into fists, moist pink tongue darting out to wet the plush spread of his lips.

He’s not looking at you like that now, and it’s the worst goddamn thing in the world. You have to force yourself to think of something – anything else to stop it from completely destroying you as you stand there, listening to Eddie washing the dishes.

Oddly, there is only one thing that comes to mind.

“...Can I ask you a question?”

The lewd soapy sounds of suds on ceramic sends a chill up your spine.

“Sure, hit me.”

“Before you went on, when we were standing at the bar... why did Laverne call you Junior?” You ask, and the question seems to catch him off guard, so you elaborate to fill the awkward silence before it can settle between you, “She did it again just outside when she told me to bring these back to you… I was just wondering about it…”

Eddie doesn’t answer right away, and you’re just about ready to tell him to forget it by the time he opens his mouth to speak.

“Ah… hmm,” he hesitates, “… it’s a … it’s a little inside joke some folks around town like to roll out.” Eddie explains, then after a beat of silence, he gestures vaguely, “Munson Junior.”

“...Oh.” You say lamely – the subtext is not lost on you, and suddenly you’re sorry you asked.

A heavy silence settled between you, and then Eddie clears his throat in the prelude to what you'd feared was coming all night long.

“Hey, listen … it was real nice of you to stay behind…”

Uh oh. Here comes that dreaded rejection.

It was nice of you to stay but it’s actually super weird that you’re here at all and you should probably go home before you embarrass yourself more than you already have.

You do your best to stamp that line of thinking out before it can settle and elect to fold your hands behind your back, rocking on your heels and doing your utmost to look carefree.

“But…?”

You don’t care if he’s about to ask you to leave, but you hope to any God out there listening that he doesn’t.

“But… you should probably head out.” Eddie sighs.

Okay, so you lied. You care so much, and you can feel the corners of your mouth tremble as your smile begins to waver.

Eddie continues.

“This is gonna take a while, Sweetheart… and I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than stand around watching me play in dish water.”

Sweetheart. The nickname fills you with foolish courage, and suddenly you’re taking another step closer.

“Not really,” You admit, “I actually cancelled some plans to be here tonight…”

He breathes a halfhearted laugh out through his nose.

“Betcha wish you hadn’t.”

Oh, how wrong he is. If only he knew just how far you’d gone to make sure you could be here tonight.

“...Can I help?” You ask tentatively, forcing yourself not to look away when Eddie’s gaze snaps up and he clocks your sudden proximity with a soft, strangled sound in the hollow of his throat.

You pretend not to hear it for both your sake, “...it’ll speed things up. And... and then you can buy me dinner, right?”

You watch him stare back at you and can practically see the cogs turning in his brain, as if he absolutely cannot fathom the request you’d just made of him. When he continues to fail to answer, you try again.

“Here, let me help.”

You reach for the rumpled dish rag, but Eddie catches your hand.

Your lungs spasm and go flat and for the brief moment you exist under his touch, you forget how to breathe.

He shakes his head and tries to lead you away from the sink, releasing you entirely too soon for your liking.

“No, you don’t have to do that.” he says, and for half a moment you’re afraid that nothing you say is going to convince him to let you stay.

Then again, it’s not exactly like you’re asking for his permission.

“I know…” You hum, feeling your tongue go fat in your mouth and taking another step toward him, “But I want to.”

Eddie doesn’t retreat from your advance, but he calls your bluff with narrowed eyes and a furrowed brow.

“You wanna waste your night doing dishes in the back of a bar?” he deadpans.

Of course you do.

You want to tell him that you want to do every trivial task under the sun if it means you get to do it with him. You’d happily sit and watch paint dry if Eddie was going to be there with you, but somehow you’re not certain that is going to do anything to make you sound cool and attractive.

“Sure, why not?” you shrug, rolling your sleeves up as far past your elbows as they will go and sidling up so you’re standing nearly hip to hip.

Your heart is hammering behind your ribs when you dare to steal a cautious, casual glance up at him, “I don’t have anything better to do right now.”

Eddie stares back at you, brows furrowed quizzically before he shakes his head, mutters something unintelligible to himself, then reaches into a milk crate sitting beneath the sink that you hadn’t noticed until he fishes out a pair of oversized yellow dish gloves and hands them to you.

“Yeah, okay – since you’ve got nothing better to do – put these on. We don’t want those fingers going prune.”

It takes you much longer to get through the dishes than you anticipated when you originally offered your services.

Two hours later, your sweater is soaked down the front, you’ve got suds in your sleeves, and you can smell the faintest hint of budding mildew wafting off of you, but you finish the dishes in half the time you imagine it would have taken Eddie to do them on his own.

When you’re done, you bid Laverne a cheerful farewell, one she does not acknowledge, and you leave the bar together.

Eddie has been talking animatedly about a hundred different subjects the whole time, though the last five minutes of conversation have been allotted to his guitar – which he tells you is an N.J. Warlock series, and you have no idea what that means.

You don’t mind though, you’ve been listening quietly without interjection because your newest revelation is just how much you like to listen to Eddie talk when he gets going. Not the heated preaching you’ve witnessed a hundred times in the lunchroom, but an excitable deep dive into something he is clearly very passionate about.

In your deepest flights of fancy, you imagine him talking to someone about you like this, and as you cross the parking lot and arrive at the back of his van, it makes your insides flutter with a girlish excitement.

Unfortunately, he mistakes your silence over the past few minutes for disinterest and grows sheepish.

“...Anyway, I didn’t mean to talk your ear off like that,” Eddie says, rolling his shoulders. “When I get going it’s hard to shut me up sometimes … sorry.”

You shake your head.

“No, not at all! I didn’t want to interrupt your flow, I just don’t really know anything about guitars.”

A look of patent relief flashes across Eddie’s face and is very quickly replaced with something sly as he pops open the back doors to the van. Inside sits half a dozen pieces of Gareth’s drum kit, two amps, and a sleek, black, rectangular case.

Eddie rests a hand on the hood of the case with a thump and you watch his gaze slide over to you.

“You wanna meet her?” he asks.

You don’t respond right away, if only because you don’t know who he could possibly mean, here in this deserted parking lot, but he doesn’t give you the opportunity to linger in the limbo of that unknowing.

He pops open the hinges and flips the lid up, revealing the angular crimson body of the guitar. Eddie lifts the instrument carefully from its crushed velvet bed and presents it to you with all the reverence of a lover.

You reach out tentatively to trace the smooth resin of her body with your finger pads and suddenly the moment feels supercharged with something heavy. The air is thick with it, whatever it is, and it settles in your lungs with a cloying film. You can’t be certain as to why, but you can suddenly feel your heart beating in your stomach.

“This is Sweetheart,” Eddie says, voice dripping with an admiration that makes your insides clench.

The heady atmosphere dissipates almost immediately, and you drop your hand back to your side to try and mask the way it makes you flinch to hear him call the guitar that.

Sweetheart?! No, it most certainly is not.

You’re Sweetheart. That’s your name now, remember? He only went and gave you the goddamn thing, now here he is telling you it’s just some random term of endearment he slaps on anything shiny and new that happens to catch his eye?

Fucking lame.

“Oh. Wow. It’s pretty.” You force yourself to say, because it’s not untrue, even if you are suddenly gripped in a ridiculous burning jealousy over his relationship toward an instrument. “Really pretty.”

And then Eddie pulls a face of sheer and total mock offense.

“Hey now,” he warns you gently, “Show a little respect for the love of my life here, will ya?”

You glance up at him and for half a moment aren't entirely sure you’re in the mood to meet him there. But it’s stupid to be jealous of an inanimate object. That would be like finding out Eddie was jealous of your vibrator or something stupid … which also suggests he’s fucking his guitar, so no, maybe it’s not like that at all.

Still, the thought manifests an image, which immediately sears itself into your frontal lobe and sends the blood rushing to your head so quickly you’re half surprised it doesn’t pop.

“...she’s pretty?” you hum, feeling suddenly like you’re about to faint.

Eddie gives you a satisfied smile – one you don’t see for how your vision has briefly gone spotty – and nods.

“Damn right she is," he says, laying her back in her case and snapping the lid shut.

If you’d been looking, and not feeling a stupid sense of satisfaction to see her get so summarily shut away, you would have seen Eddie go suddenly shy as his eyes slide over to peek at you from his peripheral.

“...Second prettiest girl in the room tonight.”

It hits you like a slap in the face and is oddly grounding. Your vision clears, your ears stop roaring, and just like that everything goes back to normal. Just you and Eddie standing in an empty parking lot with the echo of his attempt at a smooth line lingering between you.

Your mouth falls open and you choke on a loud bark of startled laughter.

Ha! Take that, Sweetheart.

Eddie wrinkles his nose and pulls a face like he immediately wishes he could take it back, not knowing that you’d strike him dead before he would even dare. He’s a total fucking dork, and that’s yours now. There will be no takebacks. Not now, not ever.

“Damn,” he mutters, squeezing an eye shut and reaching up to scratch at his brow, “That was super fucking corny, wasn’t it? Not my best effort – sorry.”

You press your lips together in a tight seal in a desperate attempt to keep a hideously giddy sound of animalistic joy from bleating up out of you, and you shake your head.

“That’s okay.” You start, dismissing the thick layer of cheese with a flippant wave, “I’m sure Laverne would be flattered to hear you say that about her.”

It takes him a moment to catch on, but when he does he snorts and rolls his eyes, mumbling something under his breath about Laverne. He doesn’t correct you, and you let the moment die with dignity because you know what matters.

Eddie Munson thinks you’re pretty, and that will forever be etched on the front of your brain, whether he likes it or not.

“So,” Eddie begins, shutting the van up again and leaning back against the door. He fishes a rumpled pack of camels from his jacket pocket, and you elect not to say anything about that, “It’s a little late for dinner… but how would you feel about a midnight snack?”

You know the muscles in your face are going to be sore in the morning for how widely you’ve been grinning back at him all night, and you nod, hoping you don’t look too overeager, but also not giving a damn if you do.

“What did you have in mind?”

He pops a cigarette between his teeth and goes looking for his lighter.

“Let’s see. I think Fosters might still be open. You could get a milkshake, chili dog, banana split, – whatever your heart desires, Sweet Thing. Your wish is my command.”

The thought of riding out to Foster’s Freeze on the far end of town with Eddie Munson is tantalizing in the best possible way. You’re beaming as you bring your wrist up to glance at your watch and try to visualize what you can stomach so late.

All thoughts of your growling stomach sail right out of your head as your heart rockets up into your throat before dropping into a free fall because it’s nearly midnight.

“Jesus Christ!” You gasp, head snapping up to share your horrified look with the class.

Eddie blinks back at you.

“Nope, just me–”

“Can I see your watch?” You’re taking hold of his wrist and pulling it up to stare into the digital face of his Casio before he can answer, “Oh, God – it’s so late.”

“What’s the matter, you turning into a pumpkin or something?” He teases, lighting his cigarette with his free hand.

“My curfew was like half an hour ago,” You say quickly, dropping his wrist and nearly upending your bag in the frantic search for your keys.

“Oh… shit,” Eddie mumbles, “Well, d’you need a ride? I’ll get you home lickety-split–”

You elect to ignore any intended innuendo there in lieu of your mounting panic.

“No, thanks, I’ve got my car – listen, I really gotta go,” You say, “But let’s do a raincheck, okay?”

You don’t wait for him to answer before you turn and bolt for your car shouting back to him as you go.

“I mean it, Munson! You owe me that midnight snack!”

You’re fumbling with your keys in the lock and whipping your door open with a harsh creak before you remember yourself and spin on your heel.

“Oh— Eddie, wait!” He’s circled around to the driver’s side and is standing on the runner, already half way up into his seat when his head snaps up, and you grow suddenly shy, “Thank you for this, it was – I mean, you’re – I had fun tonight. More fun than I would have had sitting at home, anyway.”

He gives you a strange look.

“...you really mean that, don’t you?” He asks after a moment, “Truly. Dishes and all?”

You nod, and you watch him shaking his head in a way you imagine must be accompanied by a good-humored chuckle as he takes a final drag on his cigarette and tosses it.

“Well, bless you for saying so.” He says, “Let’s do it again sometime.”

“Absolutely. I’ll do the dishes with you anytime.” Oh my God, why the fuck did you just say that? You’re cheesy and boring and stupid – just a stupid girl with a stupid crush.

And Eddie is laughing.

“Get home safe, Sweetheart.” he calls, “Wear your seatbelt.”

“Yeah, you too… goodnight, Eddie.”

Despite the traded goodbyes, you both linger a moment longer, looking back at one another halfway into your respective cars and so reluctant to part despite the ticking time bomb hurtling toward you at breakneck speed.

You need to get home, and yet…?

“Penny for your thoughts?” Eddie calls, and you feel yourself flush.

“It’s just… you know … what Shakespeare said…”

Across the lot, he steps down from the van and nods.

“Sure. Good ol’ Willy Shakes.” and when you don’t elaborate, he gently prompts you, “What’s Shakespeare say, Sweetness?”

The saccharine twist on your new nickname has a lump forming in your throat, one you almost don’t get the words around as it swells and threatens to strangle you.

“Parting is such sweet sorrow.” you sigh.

It’s perhaps the uncoolest thing you’ve said all night, and you don’t even have the good sense to be embarrassed about it, because it’s also the truest thing you’ve said all night, and suddenly your heart is pounding in your chest.

You really, really have to go, but you don’t want to.

Eddie crosses his arms and leans back against the van.

“Yeah… it sure is.”

The silence endures, and as the seconds tick by, you continue to fail to tear yourself away. The last time you left him like this, you didn’t see him again for five days, and after tonight you’re not sure you can survive another five days without Eddie in your life.

Maybe you can stand to miss your curfew. Maybe your parents won’t notice your car is gone and won’t come to check in on you. Maybe you can sneak in after midnight or stay out all night … maybe you can just stand here saying goodnight over and over until the sun comes up and never have to get to the parting part.

“Go home, Sweetheart.” Eddie says then, “I don’t wanna get you in trouble.”

The sentiment causes the lump in your throat to swell, and you have to force yourself to breathe out slowly to ease the pressure it puts on you.

You watch him climb up into the van and feel your heart thumping again. One of you had to go first, you suppose. Last time it was you, this time it’s only fair it’s him.

“Bye Eddie.” You call, and when you still fail to get into your car, he heaves a long-suffering sigh, which is a little too fond to be just that.

“You sure you don’t want me to drive you home?” He asks, “It’s like I told you – lickety split.”

Don’t make a promise you can’t keep. You want to warn him, but all you can manage is a smile.

Then you slide in behind the wheel of your car and shut the door behind you. You linger a moment longer and when you feel that lump threatening to return – one you quickly realize is the prelude to melancholy – you can’t help but steal one last look out your window, back at the van.

Eddie is still there, and better still, he seems to have had the same thought as you, because when you look, there he is looking at you again.

It fills you with a bright and warming sense of satisfaction. It's not so easy to tear yourself away, is it?

Then, as if to answer, Eddie waves.

You grin, return the gesture, and start your cars at the same time. It only takes a short dosey-do around each other to exit the parking lot side by side. You turn left, he turns right, and you watch in your rearview mirror until his taillights fade into the dark.

Yeah, you think you might have fallen pretty hard tonight, and you’re going to have a very hard time getting up again.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #cruel summer prequel #endless summer fic #stranger things #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #joseph quinn eddie munson

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