#also it’s even more stupid when it’s a headcanon and they get pissed I can’t stress enough who cares

[embraceyourdestiny]

Honest to god. I think people who actually care about people changing sexualities for fan content are silly. Why does someone making something in their little corner bother you when what matters is their actual canon sexuality is lgbt? I could not give a fuck if people are shipping a canon gay male character with a woman or a lesbian with a man like who cares. Just block and move on it’s not the end of the world. Everything is aus like who cares.

[slugsby-pt2]

(this is specifically for u @violetspetal )

CAL IS NOT THE 988’ER OF THE TWO: ITS ANDRE

andre is the cutter in the army of two. I know we all wanna headcannon! Cal as that because he’s Dylan’s counterpart but no. In my heart of hearts, this guy is not depressed in the way he hates himself and has to punish himself. He hates the world and having to be apart of society, a society that’s so cruel and wrong.

Andre’s different. Cal and Andre are quite alike in the sense that they hate everyone and want to die, but Andre hates himself for not being accepted, for not being normal enough to be liked. He probably hates Rachel because of this reason. Andre knows that him and Cal are one and the same—with Cal being more disturbed than him—and he can’t have Rachel. He doesn’t want her but what she symbolizes. Passing. Normality. Having someone that isn’t afraid of you and likes you even if you’re a bit “weird”.

Sure, I’m probably reading into Eric’s diaries way too much when it comes to Andre, but Andre hates the world and himself for not being accepted and liked. Andre probably tried really hard to make friends and be seen as normal coded in elementary and middle school, and by the time he met Cal, he realized no matter what he could do, he’d never pass. He found Cal and saw himself in him. (The reason why Andre has Cal.)

But yeah, Andre sees himself as the problem and world also as the problem. He’s too “woke” (not in the general sense but in the way that he “sees the world for how it really is”) and self aware to be like everyone else. He’s going to punish the world (the shooting) and himself (the cutting and his death).

Other headcanons:

Andre is really ritualistic and particular about his sessions. It’s always the same way, even when he’s freaking out and pissed as all hell. Turns on a movie, some kind of background noise, locks his door and gets his tools (specific army knife that he’s had since he was 12, and gauze and antiseptic spray).

he isn’t like those cutters that just free bleed and trust they won’t get an infection, even though their bed is dirty and they don’t shower enough (me, I’m talking about me). He runs everything precise and well planned.

He thinks wrist cutters are stupid attention seekers and keeps it to his upper thighs, ankles, and a specific part of his chest (track eliminates a lot of potential areas). He makes fun of cutters even though he does it.

Also, Cal knows about it and is kind of concerned, but doesn’t want to interfere. He probably brought it up to Andre once and Andre raged and basically shittily gaslit Cal into dropping the subject.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Adding to the “Velvette is the glue of the Vees” convo (and possible slightly out of character interpretation)

I feel like Vox and Valentino definitely need somebody to confide in other than a fuck-buddy y’know?

Like just a (somewhat) stable friend or business partner no sex involved

…Who they’ll sometimes cuddle on the couch with and bitch about their day to each other

I hc Velvette in all her independent girlboss glory can grow clingy towards those she’s attached herself to - that being Vox and Valentino

Say Vox and Val have an argument Velvette wasn’t around for, so they’re both pissed at each other - Velvette comes to their little shared common space, completely drained from work and drapes herself over whoever is there

Valentino; will immediately start bitching to her but also scoop her up and plop on the couch, maybe get some snacks and drinks as they both recharge

Vox; stays quiet - doesn’t like talking after an argument but will do something similar, maybe go into his office instead to stalk someone while having Velvette in his lap. Velvette is just there doom scrolling on her phone or taking a nap while Vox rubs her back

Whoever Velvette runs into first - she can sense the argument happened. So once she’s recharged and taken care of herself - she’ll text them something stupid like “Can’t sleep. Come here. Now.” without telling Vox or Valentino that the other one will be there - both of them go in her room and are - pissed lol

(Think of that Spongebob episode where Squidward tries to make Patrick and SpongeBob be friends again 💀)

But yeah uhmmm Velvette’s gonna 1. Address the issue directly 2. Force both Vox and Valentino to sleep with her bc she’s too tired to deal with them but will force them into the awkward situation cause she wants the entertainment

If scenario 2 happens Velvette is obviously sandwiched in between Vox and Valentino while they stare at each other angrily. Whoever speaks way too loud first gets punched by Velvette (happens multiple times) so they’re forced to quietly “discuss their issues” while Velvette is playing dumb and pretending to sleep - eventually things do work out and they all fall asleep

I don’t even know where I was going with this it’s incredibly disorganized I just like ranting about the Vees help - love silly Velvette headcanons where she’s the one who’s in control I guess lol

I totally agree with like half of what you've written - with the part taht Vox and Valentino both need someone to confide with. None of them has a lot of opportunities to be just comfortable with another person. Sure they have each other but romantic relatisohips are often more "loaded" than frienships and while they can grant deeper connection, they also generate greater tension. That's why lifelong frienships are way more common than lifelong romances.

But I don't find the idea of Velvette's infantilization appealing, sorry. She strikes me as a person who craves to be feared and respected, to the level that it feels almost like overcompesating for her young age (compared to other Overlords) and non-threatening form. I don't see why would she allow anyone, even her friends to treat her like a plushie. Especially when those friends are power hungry maniacs who nutoriously prey on people they see as weaker.

That doesn't mean I think your headcanon is wrong or bad. It just doesn't allign with my own interpretation. Which is perfectly fine, they can't even be compared in their accuracy in relation to canon because we barely have any canon. So please, don't take it personally - I love you have fun with your ideas, that's the most important part of fandom <3

[queenimmadolla]

okay Steve is definitely a boyfriend. like. he’s a boyfriend. i know it’s a popular headcanon that he adores you and he does but boy do you get on his fucking nerves sometimes. you clash and argue a lot, but it’s because you’re basically a married couple and it’s all out of love and okay sometimes pettiness. you’ve seen each other at your best and worst which means you’re 100% comfortable with each other. nothing is off the table, regardless of wishing some things stayed a mystery lol this man will tell you about the poop he took at work and you’re all “thanks baby, I wasn’t hungry anyways, tell me more” and you have no problem aggressively picking a wedgie out in front of him because your thong is tryna make it to third base and he’ll offer to get it for you but you’ve learned from the first time he offered and ended up intentionally yanking the sides of your thong higher so the wedgie got worse. you even ask to hold his penis for him while he pees and he’s like “what the fuck okay” and you’re both laughing your asses off because it starts with awkward laughter and then when you noticed his piss stream stutters when he laughs it sets you guys off more, but you’re also a lovey dovey couple, he picks you up whenever you need him and a lot of the times even when you don’t, he will literally drop everything for you, takes care of you when you’re drunk (tries very hard not to give into your horny antics but if you’re both drunk, you’re fucking, it’s guaranteed), you always make him lunch or dinner (he’s in charge of breakfast) and he’s not used to being taken care of so it means a lot to him. when his house is too big and too lonely (so always) you drag him back to your house where he actually feels at home for sleepovers (your mom loves him and lives in a fantasy world where you aren’t gutsy enough to have sex simply because she has promised to cut off his balls if he ever got you pregnant while you were under her roof and also she can see how sad that boy looks whenever he drops you off, everyone knows all about how it’s pretty much just him in that grand house) regardless of how often you see him lounging around in those grey sweats and crewnecks, you will never not swoon, and steve can’t ever take his eyes off of you when you’re in the room, always watches you and if you’re preening as you tell a friend a story or you’re getting into with gestures and emotion he feels like he’s staring at the greatest piece of art to ever have been crafted. you have deep talks about life and everything beyond, your hopes, your dreams, even stupid shit and he’s completely bewitched by you, so fucking whipped and in love and thankful that after all the heartbreak, all the disappointment, all the loneliness, and always trying to be the knight in shining armor you—ironically—came and rescued him. yeah, he’s a boyfriend. he’s great. i think he’s neat.

[basu-shokikita]

Kloktober 2023 Day 4

Your Fave Headcanon

As it has been made abundantly clear with my previous entries, my favorite Metalocalypse ship is Skwistok. However, while Toki's fixation with Skwisgaar is more than confirmed by canon, there's another guy who I like to imagine is also very into Skwisgaar: Murderface.

And so, please enjoy my first attempt at Skwistokface shenanigans that accidentally ended up being closer to fic length than drabble one.

Murderface scrolled down Skwisgaar’s gallery page angrily. It was so stupid, why did Skwisgaar get so many more likes than him? When the selfies they uploaded were virtually the same? Yeah, okay, maybe he didn’t have a fucking flat stomach or a hairless goddamn chest. Was it his fault that he didn’t have rosy perky nipples? That God had cursed him with flabby tits and a malformed body? Did anyone think he asked to be born with boxy brown hair instead of golden wavy hair? Who in their right mind would want to be a hideous-looking monster instead of some annoyingly handsome knight from Heavy Metal-land?! 

No one!

Fucking no one.

And what the fuck was the deal with Skwisgaar anyway? Posing like that, like he was hot fucking shit. Staring at the camera like he knew exactly who was on the other side of the screen. Unbuttoning his pants mysteriously, like nobody knew what was down there. We fucking know you have a big dick! Everyone knows it! Who cares! Why don’t you just-

His stream of thoughts was abruptly interrupted when he accidentally pressed like on a picture instead of scrolling further. Panicked, he was about to unlike it when he realized there was no way Skwisgaar was going to get a notification for it. The guy got thousands of likes a day, he was going to be fine. 

Also, it’s not like pressing the heart exclusively meant you liked a picture? Maybe, it was because it was useful for reference. Or because he wanted to save it to make fun of it later. Or just because why fucking not? It was a free country wasn’t it? He could do whatever he wanted. Hell, he could press like on every Skwisgaar picture if he so damn pleased, who was to stop him? Fuck yeah, he was going to do just exactly that! Yeah, he was liking every single one of these now! He could do that! Fuck you, Skwisgaar! Fuck your pretty body!

“What ams you watchi-” A voice spoke from behind him and he jumped off his seat like a possessed spring. When he turned around, he found a baffled Toki staring back at him.

“Toki!” He shouted in frustration. “What the fuck do you want?!”

The kid’s jaw had dropped, eyes wide open to match, and it dawned on Murderface with great horror that Toki had seen his screen. Fuck. “Wait,” He raised both hands, forgetting his phone was in one of them. The device plopped on the ground, screen up, a close-up of Skwisgaar’s happy trail being the cherry on top. “Schit!” He said, and bent down to grab his phone, safely tucking it in his pocket. He took a deep breath before facing Toki again. “Lischten, I can explain-”

“You was looking at Skwisgaar’s naked pictors!” Toki exclaimed and covered his mouth, like he had blurted a forbidden word.

“Schhhh!!” Murderface gestured at Toki to quiet down. “I waschn’t…it waschn’t naked picturesch, okay? It wasch, uh…” He scratched his neck, averting his gaze awkwardly. “Hisch Dethschtagram.”

Toki raised a skeptical eyebrow, and it pissed Murderface so much. He could take some judgmental looks from Nathan, Skwisgaar, Pickles, even, but fucking Toki?! “Why were you lookins at his Dethstragrams? It ams for the goils.”

“Oh, scho I can’t look?!” Murderface said. “I’m schorry, do I need an autorizchation to look at a fucking webschite?! Why can’t I look at Schkwisgaar’s fucking schelfies?! I’m a perschon too! I’m a fucking individual!”

Far from being convinced, Toki stifled a chuckle. “You ams gays.”

“No, I’m not!” He yelled loud enough that Toki jolted, so he lowered his voice. “No, I’m not. I juscht…I got hisch page recommended, okay?” Looking away humbly, he scratched his neck. “It probably happened ‘causche we follow each other and schtuff…”

“But Skwisgaars doesn’t follow anyones.” Toki said with an impassive expression.

“God damn it, Toki!” Murderface shouted. Wait, really? Jesus Christ, Skwisgaar was such a fucking pretentious dick!

...Wait a minute, how did Toki know that? Wouldn’t that knowledge at least require a check at Skwisgaar’s profile? Also, how did he recognize what Murderface was looking at so fast? His eyes narrowed as he stared at Toki with suspicion.

It was like thunder had struck Toki, his smug demeanor vanished, as he swallowed heavily, averting his gaze nervously. Slowly but surely, he was walking backwards. “Ams gonna goes now…” He announced in a slightly shaky voice.

“What do you have in there?” Murderface asked, noticing the small cardboard box that Toki had in his hands. 

“Huh?” Toki’s brows furrowed together and he hid the box behind him. “N-Nothings!” He had always been such a shitty liar. 

“Lemme schee.” Murderface stepped forward instead, but when he tried to get a hold of the box, Toki moved it up so he couldn’t reach it. “Toki!”

“I-It ams nothings!” The idiot insisted, though judging from the expression in his face, it could not be more far away than that. There was sweat forming on his temple.

“Oh, scho you can schpy on some, but I can’t schee what you have?!” Murderface jumped to try to catch the box, and Toki moved it to the left. “That’sch bullschit!”

“I wasn’t spyings on yous!” Toki defended himself. “You was sittings in da middle of da living rooms being gays over Skwisga-”

“I told you I waschn’t!” Murderface managed to grab the box. He raised his eyes to Toki and saw the guy had turned pale.

“L-Lets go, Williams.” Toki attempted to feign composure, even though his arms were shaking like a dildo. 

“Oh, fuck you.” Murderface muttered under his breath and tried to snatch the box but Toki refused to let go. “Give it to m-” They began struggling, grunting and whining, neither refusing to give up until Toki lost his balance and they both fell to the floor with a cry in unison.

After a few disoriented seconds, lead by the pain of his ass impacting against the hard wood like that, Murderface opened his eyes and saw the floor was scattered with something. Squares? He picked one and looked at it closely. A photograph of…Skwisgaar? Sitting with his guitar? 

He picked another one. A close-up of Skwisgaar smiling, the particular smile he did when he wanted to seduce women. Wondering if he had hit his head too hard, Murderface grabbed yet another picture. A headless shot of Skwisgaar’s clothed chest.

“What the…”

Lost, he skimmed around. A zoom-in of Skwisgaar’s lips. A mid shot of Skwisgaar from behind. Some candid picture of Skwisgaar with the wolves. A piece from a photo shoot where he posed provocatively with his legs open. A newspaper clipping of him with one of his previous bands. His bare legs in the water. Skwisgaar talking with Nathan in the recording booth. Hanging with a groupie at a nightclub. Grimacing at the camera while eating a wrap. Wasted off his fucking mind. The selfies from his Dethstagram.

Skwisgaar. Skwisgaar. Skwisgaar.

It was all pictures of Skwisgaar. 

“Aaahhh!!!” Toki swayed his arms like a bird about to take off. “Don’t looks!! Don’t looks!!” Frantically, he began shoving the photos back into the box, as if that could make Murderface unseen everything.

Still shocked, Murderface stood up. “You made fun of me…Called me gay and everything…While hoarding picturesch of Schkwisgaar like a fucking weirdo!” He pointed an accusing finger. “A homoschekschual weirdo!” 

The panic was written all over Toki’s face, cheeks as red as the carpet he was currently sitting on. “Ams not like that!” He said. “They amsn’t mine! Ams just holdings dem for somebodies!”

“Yeah, like who?” Murderface grinned devilly. “Your imaginary friendsch?” He spoke in a mocking feminine tone. “Oh, Toki, can you holds these for me? I want to jack off to them late-”

“Shuts up, Moidaface!” Toki frowned, stopping the collecting to glare at him. “You ams the gay ones!”

“How am I the-”

“What ams you dildos doingks?” Skwisgaar suddenly materialized in the living room. 

Toki immediately threw himself at the floor again to hide the remaining pictures scattered across the carpet and Murderface, just as fast, stood in front of Toki so that Skwisgaar’s peripheral view was partially covered. It’s not that he wanted to protect Toki’s gay shameful secret, but if he was found with that shit, the arrogant asshole wouldn’t hesitate to implicate him too. 

“Fuck off, what are you doing here?!” He asked, hoping his overt aggression would divert Skwisgaar’s attention.

“Yeah!” Toki agreed. “Fucks you, Skwisgaar, leaves us alone!” After a pause, he added. “We ams playing Twisters and yous not inviteds!”

“Yeah!” Murderface crossed his arms smugly. “You are not invited. ‘Causche you are not our friend.”

Skwisgaar grimaced at them like he had witnessed something particularly disgusting. “Whatevors.” He rolled his eyes and turned on his heels, mumbling something about stupid dildos. 

Once he was out of sight, both Toki and Murderface let out a sigh of relief. Thank fucking God, Murderface face thought, his heart still ringing in his ear. That was way too fucking close. What was Skwisgaar doing roaming around like a creepy ghost anyway? Go fuck some divorced women and fuck off!

And it was all this little dipshit’s fault, Murderface turned to Toki with a frown. The latter seemed to sense it, because he looked back defiantly. They kept glaring at each other for a while, neither feeling ready to admit anything.

Well, besides hate for Skwisgaar.

[lokai-fi]

Beneficial

Ateez Headcanon - FWB sounds like fun until someone catches feelings

Requested <3 Some fluff, some angst and some more fluff, I have no words but Yeosang and Jongho :’)

~~Requests are open~~ 

~ Masterlist ~

Hongjoong

he needed to relieve some stress and you needed to get laid

it was a win win

you’ve kind of always been included in his social circle

so he doesn't notice the gradual desire to spend more time with you

or that you live in his head rent free

and it’s not weird that he keeps your favorite brand of coffee in his mini fridge to enjoy after your *ahem* escapades 

it’s around the third song that he’s written with you in mind that he finally catches on

more like Seonghwa told him

but whatever

he’s down for you

and he’s down bad

but you seem so content with how things are

and that stresses him out so much

but he doesn’t want to call things quits because he loves you, and he doesn’t want things to be weird

and he’d for sure make them weird

“What happens to the people that fall in love with this kind of shit?” he asks one night as your pulling your clothes back on

you shrug “they fall in love I guess.”

“Is it bad of they do?”

“Depends on the person, some people just don’t want the strings.”

Hongjoong’s quiet for a while, startling when you ask him why

“What if- what if I want the strings?” 

You can only narrow your eyes at what he’s saying, a smirk playing on your lips

“You want strings?”

“Your strings, as many as you’re willing.”

“I think we can make that happen.” 

Seonghwa

so nervous to ask about it 

but so confident about it once you agree to it

at first it’s just super casual, going to each others places and then leaving

but then he’s planning whole days around it 

and they’re fun! You always have a great time with Seonghwa

but they feel an awful lot like dates given the whole fwb situation

you bring it up to him one day

man panics because he didn’t even realize 

but then he pauses

and he does realize

he’s a little bit in love with you

and he’s been in love with you for a while

so he’ll straight up tell you

“I-I think I fell in love with you.”

“Oh you think?”

“You knew?!”

“Truthfully it wasn’t that hard to tell Hwa, I’m just glad you finally said it.”

Yunho

thought you were joking at first

but very quickly warms up to the idea

like way too quickly

calls you over at least three times a week at first

he tried for more but dude

you needed some time to recover

it’s just fun for him

hang out, quick fuck then right back to hanging out

neat!

until two months go by and you get a very frantic call from Yunho babbling on about something

you’re confused and the only thing you can make out are very quick apologies

“Yunho! Take a breath, slow down, what’s wrong?”

“I broke the rule I’m so sorry.”

“Hang on I’m coming over.”

He answers the door with red eyes and you swear his lip trembles when he actually looks at you

“Please don’t be mad I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“For what to happen? Yunho are you okay?”

“It’s a crush, I have a crush on you and I feel so guilty because it’s the one thing I wasn’t supposed to do but I just like you- us, I like us so much. Fuck... I’m so sorry if this ruins everything.”

your chuckle stops the tears from falling as you gently grab his face

“Who said it ruined anything?”

Yeosang

completely foreign concept to him

yes he knows what you mean but like? why him??

his heart melts a little when you explain how comfortable you feel around him

but then he’s right back to making it awkward

“so we just like?” he doesn’t know where to put his hands as they literally hover by your arms and chest

needless to say you took control the first night

he gets better as it goes, more confident and comfortable with the fact that he’s intimate with one of his best friends *platonically* 

just when you think things are finally going smooth he starts shutting down again

he’s quiet save for a few grunts and groans and each time it gets worse till he’s not even saying anything to you at all

you think that’s the worst of it but as soon as he’s finished he’s up and out of the room

You show up unannounced one night and you can see the panic in his eyes

“What’s going on? Did I do something wrong?”

Yeosang just shakes his head and tries to busy himself in the kitchen but you’re quick to follow

“Is it the whole hooking up thing?”

You watch his hands stutter and you know that’s exactly what it is

“If you don’t like it then-

“But you like it!”

“Yeosang! That doesn’t matter! If you’re uncomfortable then it stops now.”

“No! That’s not- I don’t want it to stop!” 

“Then what do you want?!

“I want more! God, fuck. I want you, I want meaning, I want a title, I want to do all those stupid couple things that you say you hate but I know you love.”

He lets out a frustrated sigh and watches you process everything, eyes slowly coming back to his with the tiniest pout you can manage

“Even matching outfits?”

Yeosang lets out a breath of laughter as he pulls you flush against him, 

“Even the matching outfits.”

San

:)

>:)

he’s totally the one who instigated the situation

ending the night with a ‘we should do this again’

and thus a new dynamic was added to the friendship

you two are very casual about it and it goes on for quite sometime before things start to change

like him grabbing your favorite snack on his way home from work

or him leaving out a few of his favorite sweaters  because he knows you like to steal them

San falls in love with you slowly and it just feels right

so right in fact that he mutters it into your skin one night causing the both of you two freeze 

he’ll drag his eyes to yours so painfully slow

heart racing out of fear that he just fucked everything up

“Did you mean it?”

He can’t lie to you

He especially can’t lie while he’s balls deep in you

The words won’t come out so he just nods

“Oh thank god.”

it’s music to his ears as he dives in for a very needy kiss

Mingi 

lets be honest here

Mingi always had some sort of feelings for you

so needless to say

he fell the moment he has you calling out his name

will 100% try to play it cool

and by that I mean he doesn’t text you for a solid week after

you tried damn well to get him to talk to you 

but the mans legs are long and he can speed walk faster than you can run

you get Yunho to help corner him one evening

and Mingi is very quick to tell the truth

that his phone was broken and every time he saw you he suddenly remembered he had left the stove, the shower and the heat on in his apartment and he absolutely had to go fix those things right away

You and Yunho just exchange looks and Mingi’s back to sputtering

“It’s a crush, I have this big stupid crush on you and I always have and that night just made it ten times worse because you’re absolutely perfect and it was more perfect than I could have ever imagined but I panicked because it was just supposed to be sex and I- I’m sorry”

you’re quite sure he said that all in one breath

“Min... I suppose I should confess something too.” 

Wooyoung

straight up tells you no

kinda shocking I know

but he values your friendship and he’s seen too many movies where these things go south

so when you’re nonchalant about his answer and even ask him if you should go ask a different friend he feels his ears heat up

Why would you go ask someone else? He can do better than they can

It wasn’t your intent to make him jealous competitive but hey

whatever gets you laid 

low keys gets annoyed when you hit him up

just because you’re starting to affect him in ways he didn’t think would happen

your friendship was so strong and solid before all this 

and now he’s so weak for you

it’s so easy for him to come undone at your touch and he has to stop himself from chasing after more

because if you wanted a boyfriend you would have just gotten a damn boyfriend

he’s absolutely pissed when you call him after a night with your friends

he shows up and tastes the booze on your tongue, your lips no longer sweet but sour and he can’t take it

he’s being far too rough and distant and ends up making you cry

which makes him cry because he can’t stand to see you hurt especially by him but he has to be selfish, just this once

“I don’t want to do this anymore! I can’t fall even harder for you when I know you’re eventually going to find someone else.”

“Wooyoung, who said I ever wanted anyone else?”

Jongho

you were the one to suggest it

and he responded by crashing his lips against yours

because fuck work has been awful and he hasn’t had any action in months

not to mention, going out to find someone decent is also exhausting

but you, you he knows

you he trusts

after, you both don’t really mention it aside from a ‘thanks’ and ‘that was needed’

you don’t expect much to come out of it honestly, just a single fling because it was Jongho after all

but one night of just pure frustration turned into him calling you at least once a week

and yes he calls

he’ll make sure you’re hydrated and sometimes he offers to watch a movie after

but after a few months he catches himself tracing over every mark on your skin 

and he’s come to realize he’s memorized every single one and he absolutely loves-

he’ll tell you to stop immediately, gently pushing you off of him

distancing himself as best as he can 

“I can’t do this”

“I’m sorry? What happened?”

“I-I just don’t want to do this anymore, it’s enough. I’ve had enough.”

“Jongho-”

“You should go.”

He doesn’t reach out to you for well over a week which is absolutely killing him because you’re the only thing he’s thinking about. 

But god dammit is he so scared to tell you that he caught feelings because that’s him being weak and you never saw him as weak

and besides, you don’t like him like that and he doesn’t blame you

he will nearly bust down your door at three am because he just can’t stand it anymore

“I need you.”

“O-kay?” and when your hands move to the hem of your shirt he has to rush to stop you

“No, jesus not like that... I mean, I need you because I love you and I don’t know what to do without you. And I’m an asshole I know, for making you leave and not talking to you but I need to know if you feel the same.” 

“Say it again.”

“Wha? Which part?”

“The L word, I need to know I’m not dreaming again.”

[melancholysway]

TMNT Headcanons: Japanese

For every installment of TMNT I’m providing why each turtle would speak/practice/appreciate Japanese, enjoy!

TMNT 2003

Leonardo

- speaking in Japanese strictly to speak formally to Splinter

- doesn’t curse

- nothing informal, iykyk

- I honestly think he would be great at writing kanji, I headcanon that Leonardo has the neatest handwriting out of his brothers

Raphael

- definetely uses that shit to degrade EVERYONE and EVERYTHING that pisses him off.

- You know that man gets mad at everything, even BUGS.

-Expect it to be very informal, likes to use it around Casey to confuse him

-can’t write it as good as Leo, but it’s legible & that’s what matters y’all

Donatello

- uses it to curse…but a little for the sake of speaking it just to speak it.

- Still working on informalities and formalities, but whatever

- not the best at writing it

-chicken scratch fr fr

- don’t ask him to write anything for you

-secretly uses duolingo, emotionally attached to the duo bird xoxo

Michelangelo

- uses it to curse

- can translate (when nobody asked,)

- also to joke around, observe:

Raph: *incoherent cursing in Japanese*

Mikey: so what he means to say is-

Leo: I know what he said!

TMNT 2007

Leonardo

-loves to describe different things using Japanese. Like, he'll compliment the weather or the way something looks

-liked to use it in South America to scare people into thinking it was a ghost

- sort of kind of writes it, not all the time, I think 2007!Leo would fuck up some Japanese poetry though <3

Raphael

-you guys remember his police radio right? Sometimes he'll go on there and talk in Japanese just to fuck with them.

-they dont know what he's saying

-observe the phrase Raph loves the most:

"クソ制服からゼリーを舐め続けろ、ろくでなし！"

-ill let you guys search that.

- uses it around Mikey to confuse him, but only for short phrases

-doesn’t write it as much, I headcanon he has the second best handwriting in this one since he’s canonically left handed, (I’m ambidextrous) but I speak for all left handed people that we dislike the lead stain on the side of our hands A LOT.

Donatello

-like raph, he uses it someitmes to fuck with the customers on the other line of his IT Tech Support job. If they're giving him a hard time, or being plain stupid, he'll start describing what to do to fix their problem in a different language.

-uses it freely, except one time he was helping a guy who was fluent in it.

-all it took was a "yokai" in response and Donnie was bamboozled.

-he doesn't use it as much on there anymore after that.

-definitely had one of those learn kanji books where you trace the symbols so he can better learn the linework

Michelangelo

-i like to think in this universe of tmnt, Mikey and Splinter watch J-dramas together

-its already mentioned that Splinter is into soaps, imagine him and Mikey watching a good old J-Drama from the 90s.

-Without english subtitles

-Splinter likes it that way, it's more dramatic

-has definitely taught some kids from the parties he hosted how to write pizza in Japanese

TMNT 2012

Leonardo

-okay, he definetely has watched Space Heroes in the Japanese Dub

-A1 voice acting, he loves it

-He sometimes like to say the orders in his head he says to his brothers in Japanese, to see if he still got his translating skills yk?

- would try and speak it around Karai to impress her no doubt

- called inanimate objects by their name in Japanese- couch: ソファー table: テーブル mutagen: 変異原, you get the gist yall

-while splinter was teaching them all how to read and write, Leo got his hands on some post-its and stuck them on every piece of furniture and machinery around the lair and wrote their name in kanji

-convinced that it works and don’t tell him otherwise

Donatello

-would 100% teach April a thing or two

-Master Splinter offered to teach April

-cue Donnie coming into the cut saying he could do it instead

-one on one study sessions with him and April, she enjoys it a lot

-donnie is actually a great teacher

-until he gets into the phonetic and semantics- ie; the science on why in the Japanese language they pronounce certain things the way they do

-she doesn't remember much about that part

- talks to himself while he’s working on an invention, sometimes to Timothy

-Timothy definitely doesn’t understand what the fuck he’s saying

Bayverse TMNT

Leonardo

-most likely uses it while on missions and fighting and in stealth mode, but mainly uses sign language during said stealth mode

-he practices his writing all the time, is really into line work and origins of the language/the evolution of it from ancient to modern Japanese

- enjoys reading it in his downtime, that man definitely has a stack of old Japanese literature that he likes to read!

Donatello

-Reddit man for the win

- anything about Japanese culture/aesthetics, he can answer!

-doesn’t speak it much, but he enjoys learning about the culture a lot!

-REALLY loves Japanese City Pop, probably bayverse Donnie’s favorite genre of music no doubt

-Donnie passes notes under the door of his lab to whoever’s passing by when he needs something, not a full sentence at all, just one word notes.

Observe:

After some loud knocking coming from the other side of the lab door, Leonardo comes to it as if it’s a habit at this point. He’s so used to Donnie not coming out his lab for hours, and he’s come accustomed to retrieving any item he needs from the “outside world.”

So when he sees the neatly placed slip of paper of “food!” written in chicken scratch kanji, he’s trudging his feet to the cupboard where Donnie’s secret stash of lab snacks are. Yes, a whole bin that’s labeled “lab snacks.” He reaches for the usual packet of strawberry frosted Pop-Tarts, noticing that there’s only one box left. He would have to ask April to get some again soon.

Leonardo wonders if he should attempt to toast them for Donnie, but as he glances at the silver toaster that Donnie fixed (again) a few nights ago, he thinks about how badly it would end and how pissed Donnie would get for having to fix it the 4th time this week. He picks out the aluminum wrapped strawberry Pop Tarts as is, placing the bin back in its secret place to where Mikey can’t see it.

Raphael

-likes the art aspect of Japanese culture, has the kanji for “family” etched on his shell

-since he knits in his past time, he makes small things that reflect the language or art in some way, whether it be making a cherry blossom rug for Splinter’s room, or making Mikey his requested mits for the winter time patrols with his name written in kanji

- like Donnie, he doesn’t verbally speak it, but incorporates it into his life in some way

-will engrave anything if his that he can with kanji

-since he can’t exactly get a tattoo, he reverts to engraving, hence his shell

Michelangelo

- 100% calls the pizza shop and orders in Japanese

-they don’t understand what he’s saying

-when the Hamato family is feeling some Japanese food, he hits them up and orders in Japanese, he gets all giddy when they respond back

Rise!TMNT

Leonardo

-him and Donnie argue in Japanese 110%

-he’s struggling with memorizing certain kanji symbols, so he’s using Rosetta Stone

-doesn’t like the Duo bird

-has a conspiracy theory that the Duo bird tracks his every move???

-will switch the TV to a J-Drama or put Splinter’s TV to the Japanese Dub version of whatever he’s watching just to fuck with him

-secretly enjoys said J-Dramas

-pretends to be leader and barks orders in Japanese

-yeah nobody listens to him

Donatello

-using his “platinum library card,” he loves those Japanese picture books of modern art

-DOES NOT lend them to Mikey, since he’s missing some now

-overdue library books because of this

-really enjoys those learn kanji trace workbooks, will trace the symbols with a purple colored pencil

-also, everything he writes will be in purple

-he doesn’t care what you think about that

Raphael

-calls animals by their name in Japanese

-cats, dogs, whatever! He’s naming them out loud

-had a pet parrot once that he got to speak back to him in Japanese

-he loved that

-until Leo got his parrot to curse in Japanese

-didn’t know how to make him stop, so he had to deal with that for a while

Michelangelo

-participates in changing the TV around to the Japanese Dub with Leo to mess with Splinter

-the cause of Donnie’s overdue books

-he really likes the art! Preferably the modern art

-100% prank calls people with Leo pretending to be foreign realtors & telling people they’re overdue on their car insurance

Masterlist

[dragonsdendoodles]

similar vein to that other ask but opposite, what do you think enoch and horace would argue about non trivially, like the worst disagreement theyve had

Oh good lord angst time. Buckle up kids today we’re going over why my friends yell at me. Fair warning this one’s also gonna be long

So there are two scenarios. One where Horace is the one hurt, and one where Enoch is.

I think whatever it is either way, it started small. I think generally they’d be good at communication, having picked that up from Hugh and Fiona, but it was, at the time, a small issue. It was not a stupid issue, because if it were a stupid issue it would turn into an argument about the argument itself.

The two things that made the first scenario significantly worse:

1. We have seen how Enoch is just in general. He has zero filter and he’s a jerk and sometimes it’s funny and sometimes he takes it a bit too far. I think, very similarly to myself, he can’t actually tell. He can tell when he’s hurt someone, but he doesn’t actually know what it was that hurt them. We’ve also seen him argue with people quite a lot, which leads me to believe he can be pretty volatile.

2. My headcanon for Horace being upset is that whenever he is, he gets in his head until he’s convinced himself that if he voices his concerns with whoever upset him (especially Enoch) he’s either going to be yelled at again and it’ll go nowhere or he’ll bother them more by bringing it back up and that combined with blaming himself for the whole thing means that eventually he just kind of shuts down. Stops talking. Waits for it to go away.

Normally, if I were writing them in this fashion (surprise surprise, I have a fic draft where I am,) Enoch would pester Horace about whatever he’s upset about until he fesses up, they talk it out, kiss a little, after an hour of trying to get this out of him it’s over in ten minutes.

However, if they were to get into a Big Actual Fight about whatever it was, I think Enoch would not have the patience to sit and deflect Horace’s “I’m fine/nothing’s wrong/you didn’t do anything/I’m just being stupid”s for as long as he usually has to. If Horace’s stubbornness wins out instead of Enoch’s and Enoch is both upset that Horace won’t ever fucking talk to him and doesn’t have near enough patience to keep pushing the issue to be able to have the information to resolve it, Enoch decides fine. If you’re going to be like this, then I’ll let you fucking be like this until you can be a fucking adult and actually fucking talk to me. Except that doesn’t come out like that, it’s Enoch, so it comes out as insults. Horace snaps back because the insults were uncalled for, Enoch snaps back because oh we’re doing this now, and neither knows who raised their voice first but now they’re both yelling. It gets messy. Someone gets called unreasonable, the other asks why he’s even still with him if he’s so horrible, the first asks why the hell he’d even say that when he knows why (the answer is he’s not, they’re both just pissed off and throwing words at each other to see what sticks,) it goes on for maybe twenty minutes tops. They get tired of crying and screaming at each other so depending on how bad they need one, one of them hugs the other and they actually talk about it or one of them goes away to calm himself down and process everything and then they hug and talk about it. Things are a little shaky for a while, but for the most part they’re just relieved it’s over and for some reason the other is still here and still loves them and isn’t leaving anytime soon. They apologized, they solved the issue by sitting down and talking about it, so for the most part everything’s okay now. There might be a day or so of walking on eggshells for fear of it happening again, but for all the hurt and all the shouting, chances are they don’t even remember what they were arguing about in the first place.

The important canon point and headcanon for the second option: Horace is shown in (at least my reading of) the books to be a bit of a people-pleaser. He does not like confrontation, he does not like upsetting people, he is too anxious and would much rather just Not Deal With That. Because of this, I am of the opinion that when he is in a particularly anxious mood or if he can sense that something is going wrong and he needs to fix it, he’ll make something up to hopefully dissipate the situation. (Think Dear Evan Hansen but on a lesser scale. It would not go farther than one person in this instance.) He knows it’s a terrible habit to have, and he is genuinely trying to fix it, but occasionally something slips out involuntarily and he feels horrible about it.

The biggest problem with that, other than the habit of being a compulsive liar: it doesn’t work. It works on people he doesn’t know, because they don’t know what his face means when he says something and then immediately gets even more nervous, but his friends and Miss Peregrine absolutely do. He knows they can tell and he is genuinely trying to fix it, so he just as quickly apologizes and corrects himself. It still hurts the other person, but it’s better than doubling down, which used to be how that would go because this all started to get himself out of trouble.

It hurts everyone involved and Horace absolutely hates that he does it, but the worst person he could do it to is Enoch. Because now his own boyfriend can’t fucking trust him and if there is one thing that pisses off Enoch more than pretty much anything else, it’s being lied to. And Enoch can and will call him on it. Immediately. Horace is doing his best to stop that from happening and chooses his words very carefully when he’s nervous in an effort to prevent it, but occasionally he gets paranoid that he’s done something Enoch won’t like and then he gets careless and forgets and then it’s just about getting out of this and uh oh.

When that happens, Enoch stops talking to him for a while. If Horace tries to say something, they fight about it and it’s an argument Horace cannot win because Enoch’s right. He should be able to trust and be honest with him, but for some reason he was scared enough to convince himself he couldn’t, and now Enoch can’t trust him. Once Enoch comes back from processing everything, they have a serious talk about why he said what he did and the thought process behind it and why Horace thought lying to him about whatever the completely innocent thing was would be a good idea and this cannot happen again. Horace understands and apologizes and tries to make up for it because that’s all he can do, and Enoch’s still upset about it for a while, but eventually he trusts Horace again and the issue is resolved. Neither of them feel good about the situation until it’s all but forgotten in a few weeks, after they’ve built that trust back up.

In writing this I realized that one can very easily lead into the other, so for all intents and purposes if we start with one and it becomes two, the argument stays two and two cannot turn back into one. It’s no longer about whatever actually caused it, it’s about the fact that now one of us is just saying things to appease the other and that habit happens to be the one thing that had it been literally anyone else that relationship of any kind would have been over.

Neither of these happens often. They are very good at communication generally, having been friends and best friends long before they were boyfriends, so 99.9% of the time if something happens that would cause an argument, they sit down and actually talk it out and it’s fine. This is just that .1% where it gets pretty bad. They understand each other better than even they think they do sometimes, so they come out okay, if not for a couple bad memories. They do talk about those bad memories sometimes as well, especially if it started with an insecurity of one of them, and they make sure that whatever it was all is forgiven and nothing is permanently damaged. If there’s damage left over, they talk about it immediately and do whatever needs to be done to resolve it. Neither holds grudges against the other.

[munsster]

I just rewatched 10 Things I Hate About You and can’t stop thinking about Billy x a reader who is similar to Kat (Idk if you’ve watched it, if not then just ignore this) but could you do any headcanons or anything for this?

10 things i hate about billy hargrove

A/N: i fuckin love this movie and i love miss kat stratford and her hot grungy bf

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader, 10 Things I Hate About You AU

Warnings: 10 things i hate about you AU, fluff, enemies to lovers, pet names (doll), fem!reader

the story the headcanons

dustin, lucas, and steve are 100% the ones trying to set billy up with you

at first it was dustin and lucas trying to befriend max

then realizing they’d have to distract her scary ass brother

“i heard he smokes 10 packs a day” + “didn’t he just get out of jail???” + “no way, all he did was break some guy’s leg” “dude, he’s gonna murder us” + “i heard he has a chainsaw collection. and it’s stored right next to his hunting knife collection” + “dude… he’s gonna murder us”

THEN realizing steve is acquainted with him

and, finally, realizing steve has other connections

like you, for instance

clever, stubborn, and most of all: distracting

turns out, you and billy already know each other!!!!!

also, turns out, you and billy already hate each other

like fr loathing, foaming at the mouth, seething sexually charged hatred

so when dustin bribes steve into bribing billy into dating you, it doesn’t go so well

(“you think i’m fuckin’ stupid, golden boy? there’s no chance in hell—” “actually, i think you’re a loser and… i have a debt to repay” “so you think $30 is gonna convince me to take some shrew on a date?” “fine, i’ll give you $50” “$100” “$75. and if it goes well *sigh* i’ll give u the $25” “one date?” “yup” “deal”)

so now he’s got 75 bucks in his pocket and a cigarette between his lips and his sights set on you

you’re right outside the music room perched on an amp with a stratocaster in your lap

and you KNOW this asshole stalks up to you and flicks your amp off WHILE YOU’RE PLAYING 🤬

oh and he lays it on thick, he is working for that extra $25

“hey, don’t i know you?” + “shit, you sit in front of me in history” + “sooooo… how ‘bout that mrs. click, huh—ow, jesus” + “play nice” + “so… you know any whitesnake?” + “c’mon, doll, how ‘bout you let me take you to a party friday night—lemme guess, not your scene, right?” + “what..? you want a drag?”

he is definitely being too nice to you

so you tell him to scram and he gets all defensive and oooooH he is fuming

dustin and lucas are watching from behind a tree or bush or something and they just *facepalm*

and max like BEGS steve to pay him more and steve is all like mumblegrumblebrbrbrb i already paid him

but steve gets PISSED at billy like “give me my money back if you’re not even gonna try”

and billy scoffs like “hey man, i’m tryna work a miracle. shit takes time”

then he finds your car in the lot after school, leaned against the driver’s side like

(“nice car. y’know, you can bum a ride with me anytime.” “as… radical as that sounds, i prefer riding in cars that don’t smell like smoke” “hey. the camaro’s a smoke-free zone, doll face. keepin’ it clean just for you” “bite me” “don’t have to tell me twice”)

at this point the three stooges—dustin, lucas, steve—and max decide to do a little digging

and actually????? you and billy are scarily alike

same music taste, hang out at the same places, hate the same people

it’s a wonder nobody thought of this sooner

so steve keeps giving billy advice like “she goes to that one really weird place with the loud music on thursdays so go and… try to look nice, alright?”

“are you sayin’ i don’t look nice, harrington?”

“NO. 😐” steve likes to rethink all of his life choices sometimes

anyways, billy goes, of course, and he spots you immediately

and you look hot

you’re dancing up by the stage, and even the bassist is making eyes at you

if he didn’t think you were a bitch, he probably would’ve bought you a drink by now

he’s also wearing a shit ton of cologne because he got nervous he prioritizes smelling good 🥰

and he looks down at the little piece of paper steve gave him and labeled ‘USE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY’, so he opens it and it says “say ‘can i have your number because i lost mine’ and then make a cool face, the ladies love that one”

jesus christ, harrington, how did you ever get laid

then you’re blowing past him in your miniskirt and boots headed for the bar, so he follows you and leans up next to you

(“you come here often?” “do you?” “you kidding? this is my favorite spot” “yeah, right. now, if you’d excuse me, should be getting back to my—” “aw, come on, doll, let me hang around. i’m good asshole repellent” “is that because like repels like?” “har har”)

despite your resistance, he’s right

this place is a breeding ground for weirdos, and you were actually kind of glad that billy stuck around

that and he didn’t dance with anyone else the whole night, even if he wasn’t exactly dancing with you either

he stayed close, but he knew he’d get chewed out if he touched you

it was nice to have—

a friend??? you’re not sure that’s what this is, but having someone is better than having to look out for yourself all of the time

and at the end of the night, he walked you to your car after realizing you were drinking water the whole night

“yunno, my offer for tomorrow night still stands.”

ah yes the party

and you get in your car like “good to know😶”

he’s about to walk away when you roll down the window and say “pick me up at 8”

ohhhh you better believe he’s smirking to himself the whole way home

billy calls max at lucas’s, telling her to ‘keep herself busy tmrw’ because he’d be gone

max hangs up and bolts to the living room to tell the three stooges (who have been joined by mike and robin):

“BILLY’S TAKING HER TO THE PARTY TOMORROW—YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?????” “moviE NIGHT AT STEVE’S HOUSE!!!!” “NO!” “YAYYYY”

anyways, this date-not-date has him all palms sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy

Nervous with a capital n

he pulls up, walks to the door (a first, he’s the honking type), knocks, and is pretty much floored when you open the door and slam it behind yourself

“oh hi.”

and you half smile like “oh hi”

and he is alarmingly close to you, but you are determined to keep your arms/body about half an inch from his chest while he just

blink blink

stares down at you

“are you… feeling okay?”

he SNAPS out of it

“feeling fine. let’s go” but he definitely had that glazed over, pale but also sweaty and feverish, lifeless flu-gaze just then

true to his word, his car actually smells…. kinda sweet

vanilla somethin-or-other. some kind of baked good. you can’t really place it all too well. pancakes?

DOESN’T MATTER 😟 were u really just thinking about how good his car smells???

embarrassing 😳 for u

all the while he is just about ready to implode while tripping along behind you into the loud ass party

you’re gorgeous

and lost immediately

you roll your eyes when a pretty cheerleader runs her fingers through the curly ends of his hair and coos his name sweetly

you’re out of sight when she plants a kiss on his cheek, and he unceremoniously shoves her away

he gets that treatment all night

people are suddenly obsessed with him?????? god 🙄

by the time he actually finds you again, it’s two hours later, and you’re watching cartoons in the living room in some guy’s lap leaning against him like—like ?? i dont know but GOD billy could die right there

you’re just giggling to yourself, suddenly tame and half-lidded and pressing yourself against some stranger in a dark room with a red solo cup in your hand

“alright, doll, time to wrap it up, it’s gettin’ late” “no it’s not. why do you care?” “cmon, i’m playing chaperone, let’s go” “nuh-uh—”

and then sideburns over here goes “think the lady can speak for herself, buster” and that’s pretty much billy’s last straw

it’s no secret he has a talent for physical altercations with assholes, so he manages you off the guy’s lap before yanking him up by the collar and laying him out on the floor

just wailing on him really, and you’re slurring out some curses to yourself, trying so hard not to watch but billy is undoubtedly stunning

even while yk beating some sicko up

“alright, let it go!” tommy shouts from the back of the crowd that inevitably formed when someone yelled fight “billy, come on”

and he uses his sleeve to wipe at his bloody nose before tilting his head back, grabbing your hand, and jetting out the back door

“the hell wh—just happened?????” …. you are three sheets to the wind i am afraid

“leave it. i—he was… dunno, you’re gonna be mad no matter what i do so”

and you stop on the sidewalk by his car, tugging his hand and impulsively—drunkenly, gently, coyly, with your lip between your teeth—reach for one of his loosely wound curls

“that guy was pretty weird anyway” your eyes go wide, and he chuckles

“let’s get you home”

“it’s like ten??????????”

“so you’ll be asleep by, what? eleven?”

“better race home then.”

you slump into the passenger’s seat with a—for lack of a better word—sauced smile

not all there, googly eyes, half drooling, it’s a sight

and when he glances at you, you’re staring back at him and it makes him nervous

he finally gets you tucked into bed, sitting next to you with a sigh

“you always get shitfaced at parties?”

“you always abandon your date at parties?”

“touché.”

and he just messes with your blankets, making sure you dont throw up on yourself while you’re still awake

“you’re bleeding. riiiiiiiight”—you poke his temple and he hisses—“there!”

“got it, dollface. thanks.”

“noo problemo, billy-o. heheh.”

he snickers and shakes his head, finally standing from the bed and flicking the lights off

“gonna be alright, sweetheart?” you nod “alright. i’m gonna trust you on this one”

and JUST as he turns to leave—

“billy?” 🥺

its sososo soft and he whips around like “YES!!”

and you pucker your lips

and GOD

as bad as he wants to, you’re too plastered for a goodnight kiss

and this night doesn’t exactly warrant one either

admittedly he had been a shithead

maybe next time

he pecks your cheek quickly before heading home

oh and now you’ve got a Grudge

you do not speak to him. you do not look at him. but try as you might, billy hargrove is really hard not to think about

not with the longing glances you catch him giving you or the way he tends to linger around wherever you are or the way he calls your name as you storm out of the gym

and then he FINALLY starts leaving you alone

no glances or shouting or longing

but homeroom, friday morning, one week after the incident (if you can really call it that)

*tap tap* “is this thing on”

over the loud speaker???? that’s definitely billy’s voice, and you have to laugh at the shrill screaming of the woman who takes care of attendance in the background

“good morning, hawkins high, this one goes out to someone i should have apologized to a week ago. hey,”—he doesn’t say your name, but your entire class swivels their heads to look at you—“if you’re listening, i’m sorry, about last week and i’d like to take you to prom if you’ll have me. and if this announcement isn’t convincing enough then…..”

everyone seems to hold their breath in anticipation of his next words

oh but what comes next is so much better than that

“without you…… there’s no change—”

he’s singing. he’s singing over the loud speaker to the entire school.

and your homeroom riots.

there’s howling and cackling and someone shouts “billy’s down bad!”

you cover your face but you cant hide that smile from a mile away

“my nights and days are gray”

he couldn’t have picked a more embarrassing song, and you’re relieved when the principal bursts in to the office

theres muffled shouting while billy tries to croak out the next line and then a manic “sorry, hawkins high, this is your principal. we formally apologize for the—”

“there’s no place for lovers in this world thanks to hard asses like you” billy grumbles from the background

then there’s a fumbling and an expletive and a short and high-pitched tone to signal the end of the announcement

you find billy at lunch, and his buddies hoot and holler when you grab his wrist and tug him away

“what the hell did you do that for”

“you”

“yeah i got that”

“well?”

“well what?”

and he gives you this look like he’s lying in wait for an answer

and you soften and let go of his wrist: “that was stupid”

“but you liked it” he shrugs

“yeah”

“so…… is that a yes?”

“yeah—just…. yeah, alright? but don’t do that again”

“i wont”

“promise?”

“i promise”

“thank you”

and his nose scrunches because before you can walk away, he catches you by the hand and taps his jaw and turns his head and you roll your eyes

“whatever”

but you kiss his cheek anyways

and then like ten minutes later, steve find him and slides him a fifty like “dude, that was solid, i cant believe you pulled it off”

but billy shakes his head and crumples the bill back into steves hand like

“nah, don’t need it”

and steve’s eyes r so wide like…… ogey…. what just happened

and then cut to saturday—prom—and billy is like FREAKING out, he did his hair all nice and spent the money steve’s been giving him on renting a tux and buying a corsage and boutonnière for the two of you

“ay, mallrat, here”—and he hands max a $20–“get lost for a couple hours, alright?”

“why?”

“‘m fucking busy—”

“with what? or… who?”

“get out”

dude max is doing a VICTORY DANCE on her way to lucas’ house because holy shit???? it worked??? and billy’s actually paying her for her freedom???? this is the life🤩

and billy knocks on your door, knowing he’s early as hell and over eager

what’s gotten into him. he doesn’t just do things like this. he doesn’t show up early or feel all tingly and actually pleasant. ever. for anything or anyone.

and god do you look beautiful. like youre glowing.

he opens the door for you and holds his breath when you pin his boutonnière on and holds your hand on the drive to the venue

“may i have this dance” he is putting the moves on

“you do know i’m your date, right?”

“doesn’t hurt to ask”

so you two dance together and then….

the slow dance 🥺

he holds you to his chest and PRAYS you don’t feel his heart beating wildly

it’s just. you look at him like he’s more than his reputation and more than the things he pretends to be, and he’s never received something as tender as that before.

and about an hour into the night, steve grooves over with a devious look on his face, butting in while you two dance together

“so this is what you spent all that money on? man, i would’ve given you more if i’d’ve known”

and billy’s eyes go wide because you’re SCOWLING at him like

“what money?”

“nothing, he’s—he doesn’t know what he’s talking about”

“billy? what money?”

and steve just backs away… 😟

“did he….. did he pay you to take me out?”

“no, that’s not—it’s not what it sounds like”

“yeah right. hope he paid you a shit ton, cause im a handful, right? god, i can’t believe this—i really hope he made this whole deal worth it to you.”

oh man……..

weeks go by

you brush him off and avoid him and sometimes don’t even show up to the classes you have together

but if only you knew

he feels so guilty and on edge and like he could punch steve in the face for being such a dickhead

then comes the final project in your shared english class

“can i present first?”

it’s you.

billy almost perks up until you look him in the eye and you do not look happy

“i hate the way you talk to me…”

(i’m not gonna rewrite miss stratfords iconic poem, but i will rewrite the first + last line for dramatic effect)

“but mostly, i hate the way i don’t hate you. not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all”

and you sit back in your seat, leaving billy feeling more dejected than before

he can’t help but look to his own little sister for help

“what are you, a sap?

“shut up, i need help”

“what’s in it for me?”

“i won’t say shit when you go over to your boyfriends house” he groans

“deal”

and he explains the whole thing and his shit luck and how he needs to get you back

“well how about special interests? maybe make up with concert tickets or a puppy or something—"

“got it. thank’s max” and he ruffles her hair and she whines about it but she’ll be fine

next day, you’re literally just walking to your car when you see a guitar leaned up against the door

and you 🫢

“surprise”

he comes up behind you, glancing over your shoulder when you grab for the teal mockingbird in utter silence

“how did you—wha—why did you—billy….”

“it’s alright, you can say thank you”

“you suck”

“i know”

and you look between him and the guitar with a grin “i love it”

“i know” and he sighs and pushes a hand thru his hair

“i never did it for the money. maybe at the beginning, but steve’s an idiot. i would’ve done it for free. you weren’t some thing to just conquer, and i shouldn’t have treated it like a game. i’m sorry, doll. and i’ll get it if you never forgive me. you can still keep the guitar”

he puts his hands in his pockets and looks away

but you just jab at his chest and grin like

“you can’t just do that, you know? and a guitar won’t make up for everything”

“yeah, i know, i know” he pulls something out of his pocket, mirroring your smile when he puts the small box into your hand

“that’s exactly why i came prepared with this”

“a ring?????? jesus christ”

“not one of those rings. its like… like a promise ring. but more like…. i promise not to be an asshole ever again.”

“i dunno billy, that’s a pretty big commitment for you”

“shut up. i’ll do it for you, dolly” oh and he’s cheeky with it, one hand on your hip and tilting his head to the side with a smirk

“oh and one more thing” he says, watching you slide the ring onto your middle finger

“mhm?” you blink up at him, but he’s gazing a little lower than the tip of your nose

he leans closer and closer, and you lean back against your car, lips parting as he smiles wife and kisses you hard

“been waiting to do that for a while now”

“well…….. what took you so long?”

masterlist

[s1ckh1mb0]

Nsfw!! Gyro x reader

Cw-hair pulling, slapping, talk about body hair?, lil bit of degradation, just pure smut

Based off this lovely tweet from mwah😙

Also based off of some headcanons I have for this fine man

You could tell your lovely weirdo of a boyfriend was pissed off. He came in your shared home seething and mumbling to himself about “some stupid assholes who think they know everything.” God only knows who’s be talking about this time but with your guess you were going to say it was probably Dio. He was sitting on the couch with his arms folded still just angrily mumbling to himself when you walked over. You started massaging his shoulders and planting small kisses from his neck to his face “What’s wrong love?” Once you asked that it was basically over he went on a 10 minute tangent though you didn’t mind and lended a listening ear for him. But he was heated in-fact he was so mad he actually started getting hot which led to him throwing his hat and shirt somewhere when he took it off.

You couldn’t help but look over his body, he had quite some muscle to him but a softer stomach. Not only that but he was covered in hair (not to the point where it’s like he never shaves) covering his arms, legs, but your favorite part his happy trail. You didn’t even realize how long you had been staring until you heard him clear his throat. Your face heated up in embarrassment as you finally looked away “I’m sorry baby I know how much Dio gets on your nerves is there anything you want me to do to help you out?”. He thought for a moment and decided to not let this chance go to waste.

Within seconds you were forced down to your knees with his thumb in your mouth “Just need you to sit there and look pretty for me~”. You were a bit shocked but decided why the hell not it’s least you can do for him. There he was in front of you, your handsome boyfriend jerking off to you. It was entertaining but you wanted to help him so you when you wrapped your hand around his dick he quickly slapped it away and gave a light slap to your cheek. “Don’t be dumb baby I gave you simple fucking instructions but it seems you can’t even follow them hm?” Maybe I’ll have to teach how to listen when someone tell you to do something. Now be good and maybe I’ll reward you” At this point he was gripping your with a sadistic smile.

This was a bit new never had seeing this side of him before. But you weren’t complaining you were loving every minute of it. Meanwhile Gyro never stopped thrusting into his hand. Seeing the different emotions on your face did nothing but fuel him even more. He was getting closer and it was obvious to you. His moaning becoming louder and he started rubbing his thumb over his tip just like he did when he sent you videos of him jerking off. It’s like you have your own personal camboy. “Shit gonna f-fuck gonna cum~” he threw his head back with a loud moan as he came all over your face. When he finally came down from his high he gave you another slap before scooping some of the cum onto his fingers sticking them in your mouth. He smiled as you started licking them clean “That’s a good little pet”

Ps y’all should totally follow my Twitter where I post nsfw concepts<3

[swanimagines]

Hey could you do some head canons of how Kaz would react to the reader getting hurt?

Warnings: blood, injuries

(I noticed while I was doing the finishing touches into this that one headcanon sounds very familiar and realised I was probably subconsciously inspired with the oneshot "Inflicted Desire" by my dear friend @/jexnrey, who deactivated a while ago and said she's never going to come back as Tumblr stressed her too much, so let this be a kind of tribute for her, she constantly told me she especially loves my Kaz stuff so if you ever see this Ani, I miss you but I wish nothing but good for you ❤️)

KAZ REACTING TO YOU GETTING HURT:

– If it's just a scratch or even a small wound and it isn't caused by anyone else, he isn't too bothered. He might look at it for a moment and then decide it's not anything too bad, minor injuries are an (almost) every day happening when you're a Dreg.

– Of course, if someone did it to you, he's pissed about it and sternly tells you to be more careful because he can't lose you.

– Or he doesn't say the last bit, but you can see it in his eyes as you're already in a relationship at that point.

– But if you're brought back to the Slat with a large wound, sputtering out blood or/and looking like you're about to pass out from pain, he doesn't take it as calmly, obviously.

– It's more like he freaks out and it shows in with how much he stresses for you.

– And if Kaz Brekker if overly stressed, you won't strike a friendly chat with him unless you want to risk receiving a broken hand.

– He's a walking thunderstorm and spares nobody from it.

– If you were any other Dreg, he would just ignore you and let you be tended by whoever takes up the task (as he knows his gang knows what to do in such situations), but with you, he's distracting Nina all the time by pacing back and forth, demanding her to heal you faster.

"Just do your job like you're supposed to, Zenik." -Kaz

"I'm trying, but you aren't making it easy, your heartbeat is too loud, I can barely hear Y/N's heart over it." -Nina

– He huffs at that, sitting on an armchair in the corner of the room and staring at your face. If he wouldn't see the blood, he'd think you're just sleeping.

– He tried to concentrate on your peaceful face to get his heartbeat down, knowing he can't appear weak in front of anyone.

– As soon as Nina manages to stabilize you, he goes to the office and starts the work to find out who did it.

– Inej heard a Black Tips member bragging about killing off one of the most skilled Dregs, saying you were incredibly stupid when you didn't hear him.

– Immediately when she turns his identity to Kaz, he orders that guy to be brought to him.

– Kaz makes sure all of Ketterdam hears his cries of mercy and, towards the end, pleads to kill him already.

– Kaz doesn't, of course - everyone has to know that nobody can touch what's his.

---

Tags: @musicallisto @take-me-to-ny @retvenkos @number-0-iz @kaqua @readingslumpfanfic @dancingwith-sunflowers @shadowhuntyi @rika90 @imma-too-many-fandoms @the-abyss-gazed-back @thereagles @louweasleymalfoy @malfoys-demigod @mxltifxnd0m @dustyjjumpwings @whatiswrongwithpeople @ellora-brekker @brekkers-desigirl @heyitsaloy @mentallynotstableghost @scandalous-chaos @nyx2021 @peter-parkers-cullen-nerd @supervalcsi @doutorbaizhu @bb-skyrunner @lightprincess-world @animalistic0 @story-scribbler @writingmysanity @lovemenotplz @directioner5life @imaginesfire @thevipers-world // send in an ask to be added, and specify which of my fandoms you want to be tagged on! Don’t just say “can you add me to your taglist” as I can’t know what taglists do you mean by that!! ALSO IF YOU WON’T INTERACT BEYOND LIKING, I’LL EVENTUALLY TAKE YOU OFF THE LIST!!

[miahasahardname]

Wait Raj too? Ripper and Raj brothers?? 👀

yeah!! i wrote a bunch of stuff for a nowen family au during ict

sorry if it’s incomprehensible. ya girl-type-creature is incapable of forming coherent sentences

the original total drama took place in 1997 instead of 2007 to make noah and owen’s ages as parents make sense

raj is older than ripper, which is surprising for people. ripper and raj are also twins, which is even more surprising for people!

raj and ripper’s full names are ‘rajesh könig-fraser’ and ‘rhynnfrew könig-fraser’

i headcanon ripper to be welsh, so for that to still be true in the au, owen is of welsh decendance. this means that raj and ripper are part german, part indian, part canadian and part welsh! it’s a very rich cultural background.

raj and ripper regularly speak german or hindi in the house which confuses owen/makes him feel left out since he can only speak english

noah tries to comfort him by saying that learning a language when you’re not born speaking it can be hard, and that owen can speak a bit of welsh while noah can’t. this half-works

noah tried to prevent the boys from discovering what total drama was because they are embarrassed about their past. unfortunately, wayne got in the way of this (big total drama fan - is the reason the brothers auditioned)

owen has a part time job at an ice-cream parlour, and noah teaches languages and psychology at raj and ripper’s highschool.

raj and ripper are Little Dipshits ™️ and decided to take german as their language in school for an easy A, but ended up with noah as their teacher and, as the loving mother they are, they started the school year by calling the two out in front of their entire class.

wayne is the family’s neighbour. he became raj’s best friend immediately, and would constantly be invited over for playdates. ripper became his friend by association.

noah needs glasses for reading. when ripper is mad at them, he will hide those glasses and scatter clues around the house with writing purposefully made tiny and messy to make things harder.

owen sparked raj’s love for hockey. he regularly takes him to see games and picks him up after practice (his shift ends at around the same time raj’s training sessions end)

the family is visited by owen’s parents and brothers very often. they’re always there to come to babysit the boys. noah’s family (the ones in other continents and who live in canada) live far away. they go to their closest family during shorter school holidays, extended family in germany for christmas, and extended family in india in the summer. (they still get to see noah’s closest family there since they all go to those places when noah does anyways)

sometimes, eva and izzy just. randomly break into the home without any warning. this always frightens noah and owen, but ripper and raj are always excited to see them. ripper loves izzy because of her unpredictable nature and the fact she allows him to do stupid and dangerous stuff, and raj loves eva because she’s super sporty and a very worth competitor. they also give awesome birthday gifts.

total drama episodes air the week after they’re filmed. not necessarily for the au, just a headcanon of mine.

owen and noah flipped their shit when ripper and axel kissed.

raj and ripper love to engage in eachother’s shenanigans, but they also love to scrap, insult and pretend they don’t know eachother. they are eachother’s number one supporters and number one haters.

april fool’s day gets very dangerous in the könig-fraser household………

raj and ripper have always shared a room. ripper is absolutely pissed that he’s not allowed to sleep on the top bunk.

noah and owen are really used to being called into school (or the hospital) because of their sons. neither of them know how to do anything without getting in some sort of trouble.

[supermightyglue]

omgg im so obsessed with your jackass oc’s. i dont have a specific headcanon request but could you write more about a main cast girl?

yesssss yes !! & thank u sm that means the world <3 i have many more ideas and am gonna post actual headcanons and stuff but for now take this very random and very specific shit

her nickname is pissbaby. i have said it before but i must say it again so everyone is aware. she got it growing up and tbh there isn’t a real reason for it other than the fact that she has pissed herself a few times

went to the met gala with knox (was def invited before he was tho)

braids pontius’ hair a lot. does his hair in general. she’s good with hair styling nd even cuts her own

was the one to receive the off road tattoo

is always paired with knox (and tremaine sometimes) for press shit

has a lot of modeling/movie offers but tbh she just wants to skate and do stunts and travel and hang out with her guys

ik i said she cant cook but i changed my mind. cooking is lowkey her love language. she’s a vegetarian but doesn’t mind cooking meat if someone wants it. a long day filming? invites everyone over and cooks for them.

doesnt cook for herself tho. the queen of struggle meals. buys a lot of cereal

also always let’s ppl crash at her place. pontius is there a lot cuz the whole living in his van situation. he and steve were in her (iconic) cribz ep

present for most of the wildboyz trips even if she didn’t appear in the episode. she loves animals and traveling and learning about other cultures so it was like heaven for her

CRAZY stupid .. like, almost as bad as knoxville. she somehow was able to get in the bullpen and it scared the shit out of everyone (especially steve o)

honestly she doesn’t like fucking with animals and doesn’t wanna do anything to hurt them. she feels bad for certain things they do and regrets stressing them out

and she can be really sweet, but with animals? she is practically a different person. she turns into such a softie

has a few doggies. all rescues and with disabilities because she gets sad when people don’t want them

probably closest to the wildboyz, especially pontius. but knox too, and dunn <3

super fond of preston too. he’s so sweet and she can’t help but adore him

ppl swear either chris or pj is her soulmate (myself included nd i cant decide who pls help me)

always down for skate sessions

is sponsored by powell peralta (and is kinda at war with bam because he thinks his element sponsorship is better)

very fashionable. an it girl. (again, i picture her as devon aoki)

super scrappy and will fight a grown man

she knows how to fall because she’s a skater but she also has gotten some GNARLY injuries. usually to her head. always has bruises

knows first aid and she isn’t a medic obv but she has been SUPER helpful in certain situations

literally unable to drive, and yet, she drove for part of the gumball rally .. she managed to genuinely scare the guys. she doesn’t have her license for a reason.

one of those ppl who genuinely does not need deodorant but unfortunately the smell of jackass clings to her

has a lot of girl friends. she is a girl supremacist. we don’t blame her.

she can be really mean sometimes but most of it is on accident. she just doesn’t have a filter. the guys don’t really care tho, she fits in

ska music enthusiast. and a deadhead

so she doesn’t puke and doesn’t get grossed out HOWEVER she refuses to take part in that yucky shit. hell no. that’s what crosses the line.

once the guys collected a cup of their mixed sweat and poured it on her and she has never been so mad. like, she gets mad, she has a temper, but she lost her shit in a way that she never has before. made them turn off the camera. knoxville was the one to pour it—no one else was brave enough. tremaine was even on the fence about it. she ended up breaking knox’s nose. he was a good sport about it. they didn’t fuck with her in that way ever again

she can be kinda mean but it’s usually on accident cuz she has no filter. but for the most part the guys don’t give a fuck and it’s funny

interviewers and paps can be really really rude and sexist and the guys can’t help but get pissed and say stuff because they love her. BUT they also know that no one is better at defending her than she is. don’t fuck with her. ever. she will practically end someone’s career. she does not give a shit

[ryuichirou]

What's with that adorable sassy little lost child? 😂 Any headcanons for our lil prodigy?

I’m pretty late with this reply, but we got this ask right after we posted a sketch of little Idia, the one that we sketched when we found out that Toboso initially wanted to make him a child prodigy… what an adorable sassy little lost child he is 😭

I’m glad you liked him, Anon! The moment we read that, the image of that cheeky boy appeared before me so brightly and clearly, like, we know exactly what type of a character he would be. Absolutely insufferable in the best way possible! Not so different from Idia as we know him though lol

Oh the headcanons, the headcanons! I do have a couple of thoughts when I look at him, so, here they are.

He is as annoying as regular Idia, sometimes even more-so because he’s a brat, but at the end of the day he is an antisocial shy kid. So if you don’t know better, you might even think that he is cute. But then he opens his mouth…

Idia doesn’t consider himself a kid, he believes that he is even more mature than some of the older kids; he is definitely smarter than them, that’s for sure. But at the same time he can still pull a “why are you being mean to a child, how could you” card whenever it’s beneficial to him.

Ortho carries him around a lot, and sometimes Idia piggybacks on him; in general he is lazier about moving around than his lanky 18 y.o. self. Why not let Ortho do that? He doesn’t mind. It also lets Idia be taller than people he’s talking to. And get away quickly and easily when they get mad at him lol

Adult Idia would cringe very hard if he saw a younger version of himself. A younger Idia would also die of cringe is he saw an adult Idia. They would be horrible to each other…

His taste is almost the same as his 18 y.o. self’s, and he’s seen a lot of the stuff he probably shouldn’t have seen at his age; he’s never had anyone restrict what he’s doing on the internet, so you can’t really shock him with anything. But he is not very interested in the “adult world” of 18+ content.

Despite being a snarky smart-ass and a resident of the anonymous boards who is in his edgy “everyone’s stupid” phase, he is still a bit naïve, especially when it comes to actually genuinely talking to people instead of either trolling them or hiding from them.

He is small, but not super small, it’s just that he’s slouching and stuff. He’ll definitely get taller than Riddle pretty quickly and be very smug about it. God, his relationship with Riddle is probably even worse in this universe…

The tweels are even more terrifying to him than usual, because they are waaaay too tall for his liking, and are way into chasing him. Floyd especially, he chases Idia around a lot, pretty much every time he sees him, because he looks cute and funny when he tries to get away from Floyd. Another reason for Idia to always have Ortho around to pick him up and fly away.

Jade teases Idia a lot and says stuff like “Idia-san, why are you misbehaving, aren’t you our senpai? Shouldn’t you set the example for your underclassmen?”, which irritates Idia a lot. Idia also hates the fact that Jade (and Azul) call him with this honorific, because it always sounds like they are mocking him, especially Jade.

Azul plays boardgames with Idia in this universe too, and he tries very hard to befriend him. He believes that Idia is going to be easy to manipulate because he is younger and more naïve, but it’s not that easy: Idia sees through his bullshit and sees his schemes.

Whenever they play, Azul either complains that Idia is “too childish, but well, he is a child so it’s understandable”, or complains that Idia is “way too smart for his age, but he’s a prodigy, so it’s understandable”. Deep inside, playing chess with a kid younger than him (even though they’re not that different in age) pisses Azul off, he feels foolish when he loses, but if you were to tease him for that, he’d instantly say that it’s an honor to play with Idia-san, who is a such a bright young genius.

[moonlightdancer26]

Hey, I just saw a Marauder stan claiming that James has changed because he apparently plans to make Snape the godfather of his second child. Like... what ?? Do you know where this is coming from ?

*laughs in day 3760 of dealing with Marauder stans’ fanon bullshit*

Aight, let’s get to work:

That claim is a completely unfounded fan-theory that makes no sense whatsoever. This theory/whateverweshouldcallit was presented as one of Jowling Kowling Rowling’s headcanons/unpublished ideas, but it did not originate with her.

There are so many things wrong with this fan theory, including the fact that:

Lily was not pregnant with a second child and even if she was I highly doubt that she and James would pick Snape as a godfather. Peter is right there [a) I’m not counting Sirius because he’s already Harry’s godfather so let’s assume they’ll want to pick someone else b) I’m not counting Remus because we were told that they suspected him at that time]

They didn't know that he already was on the good side at the time and probably haven't even seen him for years.

Even if they knew, James most definitely would not pick Severus as the godfather (no matter how much he supposedly changed), and hell, I don’t even think Sevy himself would want that. Jimothy and the leapfrog would probably pick Sirius again, or perhaps Peter, whom they trusted oh-so much? (😏)

As far as we know Sevy and the deadhead redhead never crossed paths once during the war. They were on opposite sides of the war and Lily got married to James. It’s more than likely they never crossed paths after graduation. Even when Severus had begun operating as a double-agent for Dumbles—which was before Lily died, mind you—the Order was completely unaware of it.

To even get remotely close to the sort of scenario, this would mean that:

— Severus and Lily would need to have rekindled their friendship.

— James and Sev would have needed to make peace with each other.

— Dumbledore would’ve had to reveal Severus’s position as a spy to the Order—whom he knew included a traitor (oh god.. Marauder stans bouta have a field day with this)—which was extremely risky.

^^ And I don’t doubt either of the first two points I listed above would have taken a much longer time than a year/year and a half. And besides, in between Sev switching sides and the Potters dying, James and Lily would access the privilege of seeing Severus only at Order meetings… which a) they did not b) wouldn’t have been enough time to get that close to someone to the point where you’d want them to be the godparent of your child. Plus, there’s a chance that James and Lily didn’t even attend any Order meetings whilst they were in hiding.

So yeah, not only is this very much not canon but it also ignores most of what’s established in it.

To expand this a bit more, you say this Marauder stan used this as proof of James’s apparent growing up? Well, let’s debunk that, shall we?

It isn’t canon. Boom. Argument completely debunked. It ain’t canon = don’t use it to defend your non-existent faves. <3 Piece of cake.

You can’t use “oh well it’s possible that James would have matured/matured” or “it’s possible he would’ve made peace with Snape,” those are mere what if’s. What if’s are not arguments. It’s ridiculous how this is such a simple thinking process but these arguments have been going on for such a long time. It appears the logic is unable to continue logicing in the Harry Potter fandom.

Story time:

I remember a year ago I dealt with this idiot on YouTube who used this exact argument. (I remember cause 1. holy shit time goes by fast 2. I got a notif for someone complimenting me for my responses 😌 3. around a month ago, I argued with someone in that same comment section.) And I of course corrected them and wrote most of the arguments I’ve written here. They got super pissed and kept on telling me “shut up you stupid Snape apologist,” “fuck you,” “James actually grew out of his bullying ways,” “most of what you said are lies and exaggerations about James (💀💀),” etc. I will legitimately NEVER get over the fact that that person actually said “I guess it’s one rule for Severus Snape and another rule for everyone else,” like sir… do you not know how ironic that is coming from a Snape anti? 😭😭

Anyway, I hope I answered your question, anon! Have a nice day.

[screamingcatus]

Jason Todd headcanons cause this is my life now I guess

.he listens to mitski and lorde

.def a Percy Jackson kid and flipped when he came back and found out there were a ton more books then when he last checked

.knows a lot of family secrets more than Damian and won’t tell any of it only he can blackmail

.he really likes cheese once Tim caught him eating an entire bag of shredded cheese at 2 a.m then just nodded and grabbed an iced coffee and continued with whatever he was doing

.he’s asexual I know I say this about a lot of my favorite characters but I just couldn’t see him enjoying sex

.hates the way velvet feels

.he really likes fruit specifically mango’s

.he is kind of a film nerd and really likes studio ghibli

.if he has a significant other communication is very important and will not raise his voice and he does he will step away for minute to calm down

.he might act like a tough guy but the minute there’s a bug he will sitting on the counter for at least an hour

.hates humid weather

.he doesn’t honestly care about the does pineapple belong on pizza argument if it taste good he’ll eat it but he knows dick strongly disagrees so if he gets pizza around dick he’s going to get Hawaiian just to piss him off

.can’t draw for shit but respects those who can

. he also listens to classic rock like Metallica and avatar

. theater kid likes les miserable(hod I hope I spelled that right) the phantom of the opera and newly hades town

.he doesn’t really like watching sports playing sports that’s cool but he will be bored out of his mind if he has tow sit down and watch sports

. When Jason was a kid he was pretty short so Bruce called him a gremlin and even though he’s like 6.4 now Bruce still calls him it

.not really that big a fan of marvel movies he does stuff like this all the time so he just finds it boring or will like critique the inaccurate fights

.but he would secretly like period drama’s or lighthearted comedy like the office or community

. watches those stupid ancient aliens theories for the soul purpose to make fun of it

.is actually going to college but doesn’t live in the shitty dorms cause what are you going to do kick out billionaire Bruce Wayne’s son

.his Main focus for college are English literature and criminology

. has the weirdest sleep schedule

.favorite kind of ice cream is rocky road

. has very self deprecating humor so he try’s to joke like that around people who won’t schedule him a therapy session

.good cook horrible baker

.cat person nothing against dogs though

. tea person do to intervention of Alfred

.even though he likes sweet stuff he prefers salty/spicy foods

.he likes rock climbing

.when Bruce goes makes him go to galas he will pretend he’s not his kid and will do a shitty French accent to embarrass Bruce

if this does well I might make a dating Jason headcanons