#also no process thingie bc

[mapletine]

wing photocard bc i can’t get this au out of my head

[einsatzzz]

OC Crossovers (1/3): Tea Time with Myr and Lidija (@myrmyrtheorca 's OCs!) Kurumi may or may not be telling Lidija about shoujo manga while Myr is just chilling there and relaxing from the nice atmosphere.

[appalachy]

[lucenare]

I did @m0thm00n 's colouring page from discord! Flash version (so you can see some of the sparkles) and reverse of the paper under cut

[29121996]

money is so hard btw i hate it

[mudstoneabyss]

me when I don't drink a lot of water because I don't like the nothing taste but I don't drink it when flavoring is added either because it always leaves this thick syrupy feeling in my throat 😑😑😑

[spideysatan]

one thing about me it's that i cannot build furniture by myself

[sylhea-raemi]

also omg i already predicted before that kanon might have a pov in this volume just because nero have one

[55szn]

chronic oversharer - pg10

pierre gasly x reader smau

summary; yn loves oversharing to her followers and it turned out to be a good thing

warnings; none

fc; ainara torné

notes; the tiktok thingy took years of my life 🫠 a v short one bc my man pierre is criminally underrated on this app...

INSTAGRAM

yourusername just uploaded to their story!

[party girl era is back💋]

TIKTOK

yourusername posted a new video!

[so last night i went out, i hadn’t gone out in too long… and i literally fell in love] [but i’m stupid and was drunk and i didn’t even ask his name, all i know is that he was very french] [and i took a weird picture with him, hope i didn’t freak him out]

INSTAGRAM

yourusername just uploaded to their story

[since everyone said “post the pic with him!!” here it is... help me find the love of my life😣] [oh how i love oversharing my life on the internet☺️]

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

dms

pierregasly heard you were looking for me

yourursername this is literally so embarrassing bye

pierregasly it’s not embarrassing if i was also looking for you

yourusername damn that was smooth

yourusername how did you find out

pierregasly well it’s all over my instagram and twitter😂

pierregasly and charles showed me

yourusername who’s charles

yourusername i didn’t recognize you that night i don’t know anything about f1😭

pierregasly you’ll meet him

yourusername just uploaded to their story!

pierregasly just uploaded to their story!

[turns out hes kinda famous or wtv🙄] [she won btw (im being forced to say this)]

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 1.791.082 others

yourusername pros of being a chronic online oversharer: i now have a hot boyfriend 👍😄

tagged pierregasly

view all 3.891 comments

user “hot boyfriend” and proceeds to post the most pookie coded pictures of him

user the most iconic meet cute i have ever witnessed

pierregasly ma chérie😍😍

pierregasly don’t ever stop yapping online

yourusername won’t happen🫡

user can’t wait to see her paddock outfits she’s gonna eat everyone up

user they’re both so hot i can’t even process this

user need them both😣

user do y’all need a dog i can bark

[hoodieseasoned]

my gift fooooooor shrublikeish !! for the mcytblr holiday exchange !! @mcytblrholidayexchange

it's the soup group !! having a lovely time hanging out in a.... sliiiightly wonky proportions -having gazebo/patio thingy... yeah !!

i had a looot of fun with this despite it being just ever so slightly painful too (why did i decide to draw so much environment again ? oh right it's because i love stressing out under a deadline HSJHSJSK),, gem is definitely the star of the show here for me, absolutely love how she turned out !!

in total this took me,, abt 15+ hours at least ? it's a shame i won't know for sure, bc i uhhhhh accidentally left the ibispaint canvas on on my tablet while away from the drawing... so yeh the actual file reads like, 85 hours,, YIKES HSKSKSK

here is also a lil progress video which i had to trim down a little bc of the above-mentioned unintentional procrastinating xd

the most challenging thing during this whole process was choosing which color to use for the railing in the foreground SHSJKSJD

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

TWST Cast Mid-Effort Snacks They Make

Listen I'm no wizard in the kitchen but I think I can make some half decent snacks. That being said, this post is long, does not have accurate measurements for half of it, bc why the hell would I actually write stuff down I Totally Don't Forget Things All The Time.

Also like. mid-effort snacks. You know, you're not just Opening a bag of chips but you are going to need. At least a microwave. (also, using minimal dishes possible nobody wants to clean up). This is all stuff I've made or at least eaten, myself, lmk if you try it or if I missed a vital detail LMAO

ANYWAYS if this post is popular enough I'll share some like. Actual recipes as well, the Culinary Crucible thingy finally came in and I feel INSPIRED, some of these have little uhh like 'justification' or story behind them some don't bc I feel like it's obvious. GTAT refers to the section at the end, I got tired of writing it out over and over again sldkjhklsjdf ---------------------------------------------------

Heartslaybul

Riddle - (Dark) Chocolate Strawberry Bark

Materials and Ingredients: - Parchment paper - Cutting board/cookie tray - Microwave-safe bowl - Knife - Strawberries (it's okay if they're overripe, as long as you can still cut them safely) - (Dark) Chocolate chips or Nutella, your choice - Peanut butter - Sweetened condensed milk (scm) - Plastic container - Freezer

Instructions:

Cut your parchment paper to about the size of a cookie sheet, but really it depends on how many strawberries you're using (I do not remember how many I used, I think it was like 8, you do not need many, especially if you cut them really thin) and put on top of cutting board/cookie sheet. A flexible cutting board is best, but it's whatever fits in your freezer.

Destem your strawberries and slice them thinly while they're standing upright. Like the part you destemmed is against the parchment paper. (or cutting board but y'know. Why Dirty It). Place them laying down on the parchment paper as close to each other as possible. I found like. Fitting the triangle shapes together like teeth was the easiest way but something else might work better for you. Dice one or two strawberries and set aside.

In a bowl, measure out about a cup of chocolate. If it seems like too much, you can just. eat it ig or dip leftover strawberries into it like I did. If it's not enough, babe just add more it's okay lmao. If you're using chocolate chips, add some sort of fat before you microwave (any oil, lard/Crisco, butter, margarine, etc.) in fifteen second intervals. (if you don't have a microwave, there are instructions under 'General tips and tricks' to hopefully help!). If you're using Nutella, just pop that bad boy in there for fifteen second intervals. In both cases, mix in between intervals until it's kind of runny.

Pour chocolate evenly over the strawberries, at least enough to cover them completely from the top/fill any gaps that are present. Wash the bowl, and repeat the process with peanut butter.

This is optional I really like chocolate and think it's more aesthetically pleasing than peanut butter, but peanut butter doesn't harden as well as chocolate does to bind the strawberry layer together so I couldn't put it first. I did another layer of chocolate on top, but it was thinner than the original one.

Sprinkle diced strawberries on top, and drizzle SCM to your hearts content. (Any leftover SCM needs to be put into a separate container and can stay in your fridge for up to 3 weeks).

Freeze it. It's just faster this way and helps the peanut butter out. I left mine in there for a day, but I think it's okay after like an hour, idk, you decide.

Snap/cut your bark into smaller pieces, use the parchment paper to help line whatever container you're going to use and store your treat in there. I enjoyed these treats best frozen or on top of vanilla ice cream, but they do need to be kept at least refrigerated. Fair warning, if you're a slow eater, these will get messy if you wait too long slkdjfhlkjsdfsdf recommend you eat with a fork.

THE REST ARE UNDER THE CUT WOOT WOOT (Riddle's is easily one of the higher effort ones, so do not be dismayed! There are some on this list with only 2 ingredients, I just talk a lot LMAO)

Trey - Tanghulu No baking required, still satisfies his sweet tooth.

Materials and Ingredients: - Stove (someone said you can use a microwave, IIIIII don't Like That for this, but I'm sure you can) - Fruit (doesn't really matter what kind. I used kiwis, strawberries, and grapefruit.) - White sugar - Water - Bowl of ice water - Fork (skewers are better but I didn't have any, and toothpicks...don't fw toothpicks for this okay??) - Parchment paper\Plate (you just need to make sure it's hardened BEFORE you put the fruit on it kdfjhsfjkd)

Instructions:

Ensure your fruit is washed/dried, peeled or otherwise "ready to eat" before starting

Use a 2:1 sugar to water ratio and put it in a pot. (So 2 cups of sugar to 1 cup of water, or a more likely amount you'll actually use up is 1 cup of sugar to 1/2 cup of water)

Heat on medium and watch closely, it's not suggested you mix it, I did, just by swirling the pot to make sure all the sugar was in the water, but then I left it alone. You'll see it starting to change colour to yellow-y rather than clear. Use a spoon/fork to dip into the sugar mixture and then immediately into the bowl of ice water. If it appears stringy or is still soft and sticky to touch, it's not ready yet. Keep boiling until your test drop solidifies on contact/within seconds of being in the ice water.

Turn the heat down slightly and use your fork or skewer to poke your fruit, and dip carefully into sugar mixture. Immediately, (but carefully) place your sugar covered fruit into the ice bowl. Once you take it out, it should only take a moment to harden before you place it on a plate/parchment paper.

Intended to be eaten immediately, does not store very well. Check 'general tips and tricks' for how to clean the pot/fork

Cater - Spicy Garlic Cheese Bread

Materials and Ingredients: - French Bread (works the best, but you can use whatever bread you have on hand) or premade garlic bread - Butter/Margarine - Salad herbs (like the premade mix or whatever, other seasonings optional) - (Shredded) Cheese - Jalapenos - Other toppings + hot sauce (optional) - Bowl - Spoon - Microwave - Oven

Instructions:

If using premade garlic bread, skip to step 3. Otherwise, get your bowl and chunk of butter (if using french bread, I would say about a half cup) and pop it in the microwave just long enough to get it soft, but not melted. Measure salad herbs with your heart and mix with a spoon.

Cut your bread in half and slather that son of a bitch in butter, having worked in a bakery I know that premade garlic bread literally gets a Handful of "butter" (it's margarine) that just gets. Slathered onto half of a day-old French bread loaf. (Safeway. Looking at you.) If you want to try putting on some BBQ sauce or tomato sauce now would be your time to add it. If you are adding sauce, a little less butter is recommended otherwise it will get Soggy

Put on as much cheese as you want. Whatever cheese you want. I'm not the boss of you.

Throw on jalapenos and any other toppings you want. (red onions, bell peppers, make it a meal with some chicken or something idk)

Broil on high until It Looks Right, as in the cheese is melted and golden brown in some areas (assuming it's marble cheese), or wrap in aluminum foil (risky with The Cheese) and bake at 350 F for like 10 minutes (I still recommend baking over broiling but it's your choice bestie)

Drizzle with hot sauce if you want/any other condiments.

French bread is pretty big, so cut into smaller pieces and share with friends/family/your neighbour/ whatever or full send it or you can try to store it, I think once it's cooled, a plastic bag would be the best bet for storage, and only for a day or two before your bread gets Sad.

Deuce - Ants on a Log He used to love it when his mom would send him to school with these.

Materials and Ingredients: - Cutting board (unless you would like to be a heathen like me) - Knife - Celery - Peanut butter - Raisins/Chocolate chips/Cereal/whatever you want

Instructions:

Decide if you even want to bother cutting your celery, you can leave it whole if you really want.

If you want to cut your celery, cut it according to taste or break that motherfucker with your bare hands just to hear it snap and get that little bit of Emotion and satisfaction out of it. Not recommended if you want bite sized pieces. Generally only cut in a way that keeps the 'sides' of the celery in tact, like you should have a little 'dip' to put peanut butter in, but its ok if its not comfortable to eat it that way and you need to cut it vertically as well, nbd, BUT DON'T CUT IT THAT WAY YET it's so much harder to get the peanut butter on.

Use a butter knife to add peanut butter to your celery. It should fill the little valley in between the sides of the stalk. **Now would be the time to cut again if you want Planks if you know what I mean

Add your toppings, be it raisins, chocolate chips, etc. along the peanut butter to represent the ants slkdjhflksjdf

Ace - Oreo Mug Cake His brother showed him once and he didn't stop since.

Materials and Ingredients: - Oreos - Milk - Fork - Microwave safe mug - Microwave - Whipped Cream (optional)

Instructions:

Get your mug.

Throw 4-6 Oreos in. (4 for an 8 ounce mug, more for a bigger one) and soak in 1 less tablespoon of milk than the amount of cookies you put in. (so 3 tbs for an 8 ounce mug)

The longer you soak them, the easier it is to crush them and break them up, it should become kind of cakey texture already

Pop that bad boy in the microwave for a minute, and in 20 second intervals after that as necessary. Its not like it matters if it's 'raw' though.

Let it cool until you can handle the mug comfortably, add whipped cream or other toppings and enjoy!

Savanaclaw

Leona - Bacon Wrapped Sausages

Materials and Ingredients: - Baking dish (should have some depth to it) - Parchment paper - Cocktail sausages - Bacon - Scissors/Knife - Toothpicks - Brown sugar (optional) - Oven

Instructions:

Cut your bacon in half

Preheat your oven to 350 F. Roll up cocktail sausage in half a rasher of bacon and secure in place with a toothpick.

Place parchment paper in/on baking dish and place the rolls inside

Once you've prepared as many as you'd like, you can sprinkle brown sugar on top.

Bake for about an hour

Ruggie - Elote Loco (Mexican street corn/ 'crazy corn')

Materials and Ingredients: - Canned corn - Mayo - Lemon/Lime - Salt - Pepper - Cayenne - Bowl

Instructions:

Drain your corn can, then add corn to your bowl

Literally. Add everything else according to taste. Heat if you want to, or put in the fridge to eat cold. (I like it cold).

Jack - Fruit Leather (this is a higher-effort, more time-consuming recipe)

Materials and Ingredients - Cutting board (not optional this time :/) - Knife/Corer (if applicable) - Stove - Large saucepan - Water - Blender/Potato Masher - Lemon/Sugar/Cinnamon/Nutmeg, Etc. (optional, but recommended) - Parchment paper - Baking tray - Oven - Pizza cutter (makes things easier, not necessary)

Instructions:

Prepare your fruit. (Wash, peel, destem, core them, remove pits, etc.)

Chop into chunks, and simmer in 1/2 cup of water for every 4 cups of fruit while covered for 10-20 minutes, or until fruit is cooked. You can mash by hand or just go ahead and transfer everything to a blender, but you will have to transfer back into the pot after.

Taste, and add sugar/lemon/spices according to your preference.

Simmer and stir until everything is mixed in completely and the puree has thickened. (5-10 minutes)

Preheat oven to 140 F (check GTAT at the end for troubleshooting). Puree thoroughly in a blender/food processor.

Line baking tray and pour puree evenly onto it, it should be about 1/4 inch thick. Bake for 8-12 hours.

Use pizza cutter to cut into smaller pieces. You can cut the parchment paper underneath and roll the pieces accordingly to store.

This is a more labour intensive snack, BUT it keeps for sooo long. It can keep at room temp in ziploc bag for a month. In the fridge for 6 months. In the freezer for a year. Also a really good way to use overripe fruit.

Octavinelle

Azul - Funnel Cakes >:D (I had to look up a recipe to base the measurements off of, I did not memorize this, but I changed a few things when I Actually Made them)

Materials and Ingredients: - Stove - Large pan - Oil (Vegetable oil, but I think coconut or sunflower oil should work too if you have certain restrictions) - 1/4 cup Milk - 1 Egg - 1 tbsp Water - Splash of Vanilla extract (splash is generally between a 1/4 tsp and 1 tsp To Me) - White sugar (to taste) - 3/4 tsp Baking powder - Pinch of Salt - 1/2 cup Flour - Powdered sugar (to taste) - Cinnamon (to taste) - Plate - Paper towel - Large measuring cup - Fork or tongs - Other toppings (optional)

Instructions:

Throw all the Wet ingredients into the large measuring cup and whisk

Add sugar, cinnamon, salt, and baking powder, whisk until combined

Add oil to pan and start heating on medium, it should be about an inch deep to deep fry. Add flour to measuring cup and whisk until smooth.

(Refer to GTAT at the end to know when oil is hot enough). Use the measuring cup to drizzle the batter in a line around the pan and overlap as desired. Honestly, the thicker the lines the better imo. Cook for 2 minutes until golden brown, then flip and repeat.

Once cooked, move carefully to plate with paper towel to soak up the oil, and add powdered sugar on top. Add other toppings as desired.

Jade - Roasted Chickpeas Easy protein to bring on a hike

Materials and Ingredients: - Can of chickpeas - Baking tray - Parchment paper - Olive oil - Seasoning as you wish (Personal recommendation: garlic powder, salt, paprika, pepper and a little cayenne) - Oven

Instructions:

Line a baking tray with parchment paper and preheat your oven to 400 F.

Drain your can of chickpeas, rinse, then drain again. Try and dry them out a bit before you season them, either leaving them in a colinder or letting them sit out on paper towels or a cloth...or on the tray if you've got time to kill. **If you don't like the feeling of oil on your hands, you might have an extra dish to wash but thats okay. Add your chickpeas to a glass bowl before the next step.

Transfer chickpeas to the tray (if you're not using the bowl) and coat with a generous amount of oil. Add seasonings as you wish, then mix with your hands (or a spoon if you're using the bowl, then transfer to the tray.)

Bake for 20-30 minutes, shaking the pan gently about every 10 minutes to help rotate the chickpeas. Once they're golden brown and crunchy, they're done.

Best eaten straight away, but you can keep them in container for a few days.

Floyd - Trail Mix (AKA the ADHD snack Ever imo)

Materials and Ingredients - Anything you got in your pantry that already kinda qualifies as a snack food - Something to put it in (bag or bowl/container with a lid is preferable) - My favourite mix to make is granola, cranberries, raisins, and chocolate chips

Instructions

Grab your materials

If you're using something that should probably cut up, (like fruit by the foot or something idk) just rip it and throw it in the Container.

Mix everything in a bowl or bag. Use more of your Favourite Ingredient than everything else, then close your storage thing.

Shake that motherfucker

Put everything back (or do this As You Add it so you're left with nothing to clean up at the end)

Scarabia

Kalim - The Forbidden (I made this when I was like 6 for a week straight after school, I DO NOT recommend) He came up with this as a midnight snack and didn't want to bother Jamil.

Materials and Ingredients - Microwave - Microwave safe bowl - Chocolate chips - Mini marshmallows - Fork - A very high tolerance for Texture and Sweetness

Instructions:

Put chocolate chips and marshmallows in the bowl

Microwave for 15 second intervals, mixing with your fork in between.

When it becomes a sticky amalgamation from hell and looks like a dung beetle would be proud of it, it's done.

Jamil - Fattoush He saves the leftovers of the dishes he makes for Kalim throughout the day in order to make some version of Fattoush

Materials and Ingredients: - Cutting board - Knife + Pizza cutter (not necessary, but fun) - Lettuce - Tomato - Cucumber - Radishes - Pita bread - Pan - Stove - Olive oil - Salt + pepper - Bowl x 2 - Glass measuring cup - Lemon juice - Garlic powder, dried mint, and sumac (you don't have to use these) - (I like adding Granny smith apples and goat or feta cheese, but it's not traditional)

Instructions:

Cut up your veggies like you would for any salad and throw em in a bowl

Use the pizza cutter to slice pita bread into smaller, bite sized pieces.

Fry the pieces with a little bit of olive oil, salt and pepper, then set aside in a different bowl so they stay Crunchy

In the glass measuring cup use about 2 tbsp of lemon juice, add some garlic powder, dried mint, salt, pepper, sumac, and whisk.

Slowly stream in about 3 tbsp of olive oil and whisk continuously until it combines. (this might take a while to emulsify, yes you can use a hand mixer on low if you want)

Drizzle dressing over your salad portion, and add pita chips as you wish

Pomefiore

Vil - Parfait He let the French man into his life, also this is bougie parfait, you don't have to follow this exactly lmao, this is just how I used to make it for my mom

Materials and Ingredients - Cutting board + knife - Grapes, red and green if possible - Granola - Blueberries (they can be frozen) - Cherries, cored/halved except one (can also be frozen) - Yogurt (I prefer vanilla for this stuff, Vil probably uses plain Greek yogurt and some honey for sweetness) - A wine glass, otherwise just a clear glass makes it look best, but it doesnt really matter - Spoon

Instructions:

Dice those grapes as small or large as you like, mine are generally the size of like. The eraser end of a pencil. Set aside.

Get your glass and gently spoon yogurt into the bottom, up by about 2 inches. If you have the patience, gently arrange the blueberries into a 1 berry layer. If not, just grab less than a handful of blueberries and put them on top of the yogurt.

Add another inch of yogurt to completely cover the berry layer, and add a thin layer of granola. Cover completely with yogurt again, using another inch-2 inches to do so

Again, if you have the patience, you can arrange your cherry halves into a nice circle to completely cover the yogurt layer. If not, do the same thing as the blueberries.

Cover with another inch-two inches of yogurt. Add a thicker band of granola this time, and top with yogurt once more, to nearly the top of the glass.

Add your whole cherry to the middle of the parfait, and add the mix of diced grapes around it. ** if you used frozen fruit, let it thaw for a couple minutes so you can see the colour bleed into the yogurt a bit bc it looks cool. I'm the boss of you for this one rule because I'm right about it sdlkjfhsldjkf

Rook - Maakouda A guilty pleasure of his. He remembers them fondly from home. Works best with leftover mashed potatoes.

Materials and Ingredients: - Mashed potatoes (if you don't have left overs, just boil chunked potatoes in lightly salted water. Once they're soft, drain them, use a handmixer to mix, add some butter/whipping cream, season as you wish (garlic powder, salad herbs, salt, pepper), add shredded cheese if you want idc. Once everything is mixed you got yourself. Mashies.) - Egg - Garlic, Parsley, Cumin, Tumeric, Salt, Pepper - Flour in a bowl - Oil - Pan - Stove** - you can use an air-fryer for this if you want - Slotted spoon/tongs/fork - Plate w/ paper towel

Instructions:

For every 2 cups of mashed potatoes, you will add one egg, but don't do it yet. Add seasoning to your mashed potatoes first so you can taste and adjust the flavour as necessary, THEN add your egg(s).

Start heating oil, (about 2 inches) in a pan at medium heat. While you wait for it to get to temperature, (Look at GTAT to know when the oil is hot enough) roll your potato mixture into small balls and roll in flour

Fry until golden. Remove from oil using your utensil of choice and let it drain on the paper towel

Repeat until all the "batter" is used up

Epel - Dulce de Leche + Apple Slices Ruggie showed it to him

Materials and Ingredients - Sweetened Condensed Milk (if you don't just have dulce de leche on hand) - Apples (Granny Smith recommended) - Two glass baking pans, one larger than the other - Water - Oven

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 425 F

Pour SCM into smaller glass pan, cover with foil

Place smaller glass pan into larger glass pan. Fill the larger glass pan with as much water as necessary to cover the level of SCM in the smaller pan

Throw it in the oven for like 2 hours and monitor periodically to refill with water if necessary. Keep cooking until it's the colour golden brown you want

Once it's to colour, remove from oven carefully, remove foil, and remove from larger glass pan carefully.

Once cool enough, store in glass jar if possible, or wait longer and store it in a plastic container.

Cut up apple and whatever is left in the pan, scrape it out with the apple and eat it lmaooo unless you have a silicone spatula ain't no way you getting all that caramel out of the pan. Serve yourself more as necessary lmao

Ignihyde

Idia - Worms and Dirt Baybeeeeeeee The far less healthy version of a parfait

Materials and Ingredients: - Crushed Oreos (Oreos + double bagged ziploc bags and you Gamer Rage sldfhlskdjfhlsj) - Whipped Cream - (If making from scratch, you'll need whipping cream, vanilla, and powdered sugar + hand mixer. Just throw ingredients in to taste and mix) - Chocolate pudding - Gummy worms - Rolling pin (optional) - Mixing bowl (glass or metal preferable) - Spatula - (Clear) Glass

Instructions:

Crush the Oreo's by any means necessary. Obliterate them.

Pack the Oreo remains into the bottom of your cup

Mix your whipped cream with the chocolate pudding using the spatula to fold it into each other until it Tastes Right. That is subjective, so if you Like it and it's Brown you Did It.

Spoon/plap how much of your chocolate mousse you'd like into your cup. Throw in a couple gummy worms, add more oreo corpse if you want then fill to the top with chocolate mousse.

Top with more oreo ashes and more gummy worms

Leftover mousse is pretty versatile if you have it with fruit or make more worms and dirt, but it only keeps for a day or two in the fridge

Ortho - :(

Diasomnia

Malleus - "Snow Cone"

Materials and Ingredients: - Rage - Double or triple ziploc bags - Ice - Hot water - Grenadine, Maple syrup, Lime and salt, something else (Choose ONE per serving or embrace Lilia's energy and regret it) - A bowl + spoon

Instructions:

Double/triple bag ice

Run bags under hot water for a few minutes to help melt the ice a little bit (assuming you don't have already very small pieces of ice)

Crush the ice via brute force (its a good work out) OR I GUESS you could use a BLENDER but where's the fun in that

Get rid of any extra water and serve very finely crushed ice in a bowl

Top with your desired flavouring to taste

Lilia -

REDACTED

Silver - Refried Beans Another Ruggie special lmao I love him so much

Materials and Ingredients: - Canned black beans - Salsa (optional) - Chicken bouillon - Oil - Pan/Stove - Wooden spoon/potato masher - Chips or some sort of bread

Instructions:

Drain a little more than half of the Bean Juice

Over medium heat, add a little bit of oil to the pan, (enough to cover the bottom), and add the Beans

As it heats up and the remaining Bean Juice starts to bubble, add chicken bouillon and salsa to taste.

Mash the beans while they cook to mix in flavouring and to get beans to the right consistency. They'll be done when there's no liquid left sloshing around, but you can decide how Dry you want your beans

Add beans on top of tortilla chips, sprinkle cheese on top and call it done, throw some in a burrito or on top of salad, lightly toast some bread, put some mayo on it and add the beans, do what you want <3

Sebek - Salmon Croquettes

Materials and Ingredients: - Canned salmon - Diced bell peppers (choose your favourite colours)**go to GTAT for other substitutions and notes - Diced red onion - Egg (if you don't have any just add more mayo) - Worcestershire sauce - Mayo - Garlic powder, salt, pepper, paprika, other seasonings (your choice) -Bowl - Flour - Panko (optional, or substitute bread crumbs) - Oil - Stove/Pan - Tongs (you can try to use a fork but it won't always work lol) - Plate w/paper towel

Instructions:

Prepare your veggies, and drain salmon

Mix in with canned salmon, and add mayo, Worcestershire, and seasonings to taste. Add just a tiny bit more than you think you should in regards to spices because when you throw the flour in, it'll 'dilute' the flavour a bit

Lightly beat 1 egg for every 5 ounces of salmon (should be on the can) and add to mixture, using hands or wooden spoon to mix.

Add just enough flour and breadcrumbs to the mixture that it doesn't stick to your hands.

Set up your pan with oil, (just enough to cover the bottom), over medium heat and make little 'patties' out of your mix.

Fry your patties until golden brown (2-3 minutes) on both sides.

Remove from heat and place on plate to drain.

Staff

Crowley - Fuckit Fudge (AKA Rocky Road Fudge)

Materials and Ingredients: - Parchment paper - Cake pan - 2 cups Chocolate chips - SCM (14 oz = 1 3/4 cups, should be on the can) - 1/4 cup Butter - Vanilla - Marshmallows - Almonds - Anything else you want (just be aware you'll have to add more chocolate and you'll likely have to cut down on the other fillings as well) - Glass bowl - Spatula - Microwave/Double boiler (GTAT tells you how to make one) - Patience

Instructions:

Melt chocolate chips, SCM, and butter (about 90 seconds in the microwave)

While it's melting, set up your cake pan with parchment paper

Add a splash of vanilla extract and mix with spatula until smooth

Stir add-ins into mixture, and pour into cake pan carefully

Make sure mixture is spread evenly, and refrigerate until it solidifies (depends on how deep you made the fudge)

Cut into chunks and serve. Stores well in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 2 weeks.

Trein - Raspberry Cordial Not a 'snack' but like if the Shaftlands are known for ruby berries I feel like this is close enough. It's from Anne of Green Gables, shhh its soooo good

Materials and Ingredients - Raspberries (GASP can you believe it) - Lemon/lemon juice - White sugar - Water - Sparkling water/Ginger Ale works too. Sprite is a stretch. - Pot/Stove - Fine mesh strainer - Pitcher - Ladle - Glass measuring cup

Instructions:

We're making a raspberry syrup, so you can use fresh, overripe or frozen raspberries. For every cup of raspberries, use just under a half cup of sugar, (3 cups of raspberries = 1 1/4 cups of sugar), and put both into a pot/saucepan.

Cook on medium/high heat and mash with like. the bottom of a ladle or something. It'll take like 20 minutes to have it cooked down to a liquid.

Strain into the measuring cup. If there are still seeds or pulp, strain again. Squeeze lemon into it in small amounts and taste as you go until you get the flavour You Want. This is your syrup. At this point, if you want to save some to use for other recipes or something, set some aside.

Boil the water (Use one cup more of water than you did of raspberries) and add it to the pitcher with your raspberry syrup. Mix, then let it chill in the fridge. ** if you would like to use sparkling water/lemonade or ginger ale instead, you'll just have to mix for longer is all, don't heat those

Serve and garnish with lemon or mint.

Crewel - Carrot Salad idk man I'm running out of steam and ideas lmaoooo

Materials and Ingredients: - Carrots, peeled - Grater - Bowl - Lemon, salt, cayenne - Fork

Instructions:

Grate your carrots into the bowl you're gonna eat out of

Squeeze your shredded carrots to get rid of the extra Juice (look at GTAT)

Add lemon/lime, salt and cayenne according to taste, and mix with fork

Tastes best chilled, eat immediately

Vargas - Deviled Eggs

Materials and Ingredients: - Saucepan/pot + Stove - Water - Eggs - Mayo - Salt, pepper, paprika, cayenne - Bowl + fork - Lime juice (optional) - Knife and cutting board - Bowl with ice water

Instructions:

Choose how many eggs you're gonna want to make, idk, maybe 6? Put them in the pot and gently fill with just enough water to cover them. Add salt and lemon juice (GTAT) to the water and heat on medium

Prepare your bowl with ice water. Let your eggs boil for about 8 minutes before draining the water and running them under cold water until they're cool enough to handle for a few seconds to put in the ice bath

Wait until your eggs are cold enough to handle for you to crack the egg shells off. I love using my hands but if it's easier to put it in a container with a lid and shake it gently, go ahead, just shake it enough to break the shell in a way you can remove it.

Once all your eggs are shelled, cut them in half the long way, (be careful they are Slippery)

Remove the yolks gently without ripping the egg white. Generally, you can just use your fingers or turn the egg upside down orrr very gently push the yolk out from behind into the bowl.

Add mayo and seasonings at your discretion. (if it feels like it's missing something, you can try adding diced pickles/pickle juice, bacon bits, dill, or mustard.) Mash together with the fork until smooth, or if you're using a lot of eggs you can use a hand mixer. Mixture should be creamy.

Gently spoon the mixture back into the egg whites. Any leftover mixture will be great on sandwiches!

Sam - Sausage Bites

Materials and Ingredients: - 1 Pillsbury OG Crescent Roll dough - Sausage of your choice, cut into 1 inch pieces (unless it's cocktail sausages, leave them as is) - 1 Egg + 1tbsp for an egg wash - Baking sheet + parchment paper (oven) - Flour - Pizza cutter (more fun than a knife) - Plate w/ paper towel - Sauce: 1/2 cup Mayo, 1 tbsp mustard, 1 tbsp ketchup + Cajun seasoning to your hearts content or a simple chipotle mayo works too

Instructions:

Make your sauce, throw it in the fridge to cool, set your oven to 350 F.

Lightly flour your counter and spread out the Pillsbury dough. Cut each triangle into 3 smaller triangles. Place sausage on wide end of the triangle and wrap it to make kind of like. A donut around it.

Place on baking sheet and add egg wash. I don't have a basting brush so I kinda wing it with whatever bright idea strikes me first. Usually I just end up using my fingers lol

Bake for 15 minutes, until pastry is golden brown

Once done, place on plate and allow to cool. Add toothpicks if you'd like, and serve with your dip.

Others (BONUS, come on guys I'm pretending like this is something people actually want to read LMAO)

Jack T. - Vanilla Latte Bars

Materials and Ingredients: - Coffee beans - Vanilla - Pitted dates - Rolled oats - Food processor - Cake pan + parchment paper

Instructions:

For every cup of oats, match with pitted dates + 1/2 a cup. (2 cups oats = 2 1/2 cups of dates). For every cup of oats, add a 1/8 cup of coffee beans. (2 cups oats = 1/4 cup coffee beans). Add vanilla with your heart. Everything goes in the food processor and gets blended.

Pinch the 'dough' between your fingers. If it doesn't crumble, it's ready. If it does, add a splash of warm water, blend again, and repeat until the dough holds it's shape.

Press mixture into cake pan evenly and refrigerate

Cut and serve once hardened

Che'nya - Cheez-whiz, pickle and mini-marshmallow sandwich Oh, context? Yeah my dad said this was his childhood snack and I wanted to be like him when I was like 5. Do not recommend. But I also don't like processed cheese.

Materials and Ingredients - White bread, Wonder bread is ideal - Cheez-whiz - Sweet pickles, sliced - Multi coloured mini marshmallows - A psych assessment

Instructions:

You don't get help with this. You know what you're doing.

Falena - Chicharrones (Like. Pork bites.)

Materials and Ingredients: - Cutting board + knife - Pork cutlet (I only need to feed myself, so a huge cut of meat isn't necessary - Salt - Baking tray + parchment paper (oven)

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350 F.

Cut your pork cut into ~1 inch cubes, or smaller. Place on baking sheet and use a generous amount of salt to season. Mix with your hands.

Cook until you can easily pull the pork apart

I like to use a little lemon, a little homemade tortilla and some crema to eat them, but just lemon or using them to top nachos works too

Cheka - Poor Man's Horchata He just likes it more because he can set it up mostly by himself, and he can share it without worrying about nut allergies.

Materials and Ingredients - Pitcher - Water - White sugar - Oats - Vanilla - Cinnamon - Ice - Wooden spoon

Instructions:

For every cup of oats, add half a cup of sugar into pitcher (or cup for a personal serving)

Bring 3/4 full with water and add ice to bring it as high as you are comfortable stirring.

Add remaining ingredients to taste, and add sugar/water/oats as necessary

Najma - Mango with Tajin

Materials and Ingredients - Cutting board and knife - Mango - Tajin - Bowl

Instructions:

Cut your mango however you like. I typically cube my Haden mangoes, but Ataulfo I do the grid thing and pop it up

Add Tajin to your preference. If you don't have Tajin, use lime, salt and cayenne.

Neige (and the dwarves) - Tarte Soleil (higher effort snack) It's easy to share and 'sun tart' feels fitting

Materials and Ingredients: - 2 puff pastries, cut into equal size circles - Egg for wash, like Sam's - Black and white sesame seeds, (Optional) - Garlic butter (softened butter w/ garlic powder, salt, lemon and parsley to taste) - Baking sheet + parchment paper (oven) - Water - Cup/Glass - Knife

Instructions:

Cut your puff pastry so it's just small enough to fit on your baking sheet. Leave one on the sheet and put the other in the fridge for now. Preheat your oven to 350 F.

Spread the garlic butter on the circle, leaving about a half inch untouched all the way around the circle. Place in the fridge for 5 minutes to set.

Dab the edges of the crust with water and set the other puff pastry on top, gently pressing the edges together (not squishing)

Put the glass smack dab in the middle, or at least best you can, and upside down. (Do not Press.) Use your knife to cut away from the glass and make a bunch of 'rays' (easiest way is to quarter the dough, then cut each quarter into sixths.)

Remove the glass and gently press where your 'ray' meets the circle the glass made to prevent it from ripping as you twist it. Repeat for every 'ray'

Egg wash, (just like Sam's), sprinkle sesame seeds and bake until golden brown (30-35 minutes)

Let it cool, transfer to serving plate, and rip off the rays to eat.

---------------------------------------------

GENERAL TIPS AND TRICKS

If you need to melt chocolate and don't have a microwave (been there love, I know), you can use a small pot with water in it, I would say about a third of the pot is good, and a glass bowl big enough to sit on top of it. Boil that motherfucker and melt chocolate in the glass bowl, this is basically a poor man's double boiler

To clean melted sugar from the pot, there's a couple ways to go about it. I can't relax when I know there are dishes still waiting for me, so I used my kettle to boil more water, poured it into the pot, mixed it around with the fork I used, and most of it dissolved. I poured it down the sink, then used a sponge, soap and brute force to get the rest of it out. The other option is similar, where you just add fresh water to what's left of the sugar mixture, let it sit overnight, boil it again, and then dump it. (don't use cold water it will harden against the pot and be even more difficult to clean)

Some oven's don't go that low, I think the other common lowest temp is 170 F. That's okay! You can use a pair of metal tongs to keep your oven slightly ajar, just check in on it every once in a while. I use the same trick when I make meringue cookies and it works perfectly. Makes it wonderful during winter, but in summer make sure you don't overheat love <3.

You'll know the oil is hot enough to deep fry if you 1. put the back end of a wooden spoon in the oil and bubbles form around it, or 2. drop a small bit of the batter/flour in and it starts bubbling.

If you don't like bell peppers, you can shred carrots or zucchini, just make sure you squeeze and drain out the water first. You can do this with a cheese cloth or just your hands and pouring the water/juice out of the bowl over the sink. The dryer you can get it the better.

Adding lemon juice to the water helps separate the shell from the egg

--------------------------------------------------

I did this shit in like 8 hours gooooooooooooooooooooooooood I hope it doesn't flop. But if it does, I hope whoever it does reach, enjoys it, I had fun making it.

[lace-coffin]

(hii!! I’m so sorry if your requests are closed and I just requested… idk I saw they were closed and then they opened so I’m a little slow, I’m sorry 🥲)

But if they are open, I was wondering like, gn!Reader or preferably male reader x Asa Emory?

But but— cowboy Asa?? Like Arthur Morgan coded Asa Emory x The Sherif Y/N who’s desperately trying to capture him, like hunting him down and stuff. (Pretty much bounty Hunter thingy eee)

But, instead of Y/J capturing Asa, Asa Captures them instead and like teases them and degrades them while edging?? I’m sorry I’m just horny 😔😔

Wanted! Asa Emory x Sheriff bounty hunter!Gn! Reader (nsfw)

requests are closed! (For now)

Warnings for ass play (u eat his ass lol), degradation/humiliation, power dynamics

This is literally such a fun idea I’m so excited! Ngl I had to look up some stuff to do with Arthur Morgan bc I’ve only played red dead 1 (yes my horse was named horsey, thank u 😌) also i adore degradation so this is super up my alley!

Bounty hunting wasn’t easy, often loosing multiple companions in the process, chasing dead leads and bumping heads with other hunters out for the prize money. It was high risk high reward. But that’s why you did what you did, and you were damn good at it. Or so you thought. Asa Emory had shaken your perception of yourself, he was the only criminal you couldn’t seem to get a firm grip on, you’d come close before but he always managed to fluster you and weasel his way out of it.

Asa was an interesting specimen, seemingly killing when it suited him and for any reason he can justify, most people killed over land, revenge, highway robberies, the usual. He seemed to have his own motives for killing. There wasn’t any specific pattern to the people he’d taken, all of different ages and backgrounds, it was what he did with them that caused his bounty to be raised multiple times.

Sick contorted amalgamations lined the walls of Asa’s new home, the last one he’d been driven out of after you’d caught wind of what he’d been doing with the bodies, once human figures now twisted into a perverse approximation of insects and wild animals. This should disgust you, make you sick to your stomach and make you throw in the towel on the case, but he’s just so odd but charming. On multiple occasions you’d had him corned, right where you wanted him. You wanted to see him sweat. Every time it ended in you being the one pinned suddenly, lost for breath and hot in the face.

You weren’t sure if you were even in it for the money anymore or if you just needed one last taste of him.

You shouldn’t be surprised it had come to this again, spending weeks tracking him and whatever band of criminals he was taking advantage of this time only to end up backed against a cold brick back alley wall, gun to your head.

“Pleasure to see you again cricket! Are we here for another rendezvous?” Asa chuckles smugly, tapping the muzzle of the gun against your head.

“Very funny, you know why I’m here” you deadpanned, trying not to let the fear coursing through your veins show on your face, you wouldn’t admit the fear was also tainted with excitement.

“I think we both know why your here, you came running back to me like a desperate mutt with their tail between their legs because you hate me, but you can’t stand not being mine, ain’t that right, doll?”

You sputter in shock but quickly try pull a neutral expression back on. “In your fucking dreams, the only place I want scum like you is behind bars so I can get my money and call it a day.” You attempt to say it with a bite but it comes out a little pathetic, voice unsure and wavering, it seems your mind and desires aren’t cooperating.

“So if I tell you to get on your knees and get to work right now, you wouldn’t?”

You scoff and avert your eyes, face reddening in betrayal. You’re supposed to be handing him in and leaving him to rot whilst you count your bounty, but here you are practically drooling over the idea of shoving his cock down your throat.

Asa grips the side of your head and pulls it harshly to meet his gaze, pressing the gun further into your temple for emphasis. “I’m talking to you, slut. Answer me.”

You don’t grace him with an answer, slowly dropping to your knees on the dusty ground of the back alley, there’s no point denying it anymore when your prize is right in front of you. You’ve needed this since the last time you’d watched him walk free.

You unbuckle his belt and zip with a giggle, taking him into your hands and pumping slowly. “Fuck, you don’t know how long I’ve needed this” you bite your lip.

“Can fucking see you’ve been gagging for it, walking around all high and mighty when we both know you’ve been needing to get fucked like the whore you are” Asa replies, cupping your face and guiding it to his crotch. You can almost see something affectionate in the way he’s looking at you, but that’s something you can unpack later.

Asa groans as you work your way down his cock, sinking as far as you can without triggering your gag reflex. Placing his hands on the back of your head, Asa speaks up again. “There we go, all the way down, good fucking toy”

You hum happily around his arousal at the praise, the vibration of it going straight to Asa’s dick. You let him manhandle you around for a while, pushing and pulling back into your throat, loving the way your desperate eyes water. The man above you pops you off his cock and starts to completely remove his trousers. You give him a questioning look.

“Just trust me doll, a mutt like you will enjoy this”

You’re almost in shock as he moves you behind him and spreads his ass cheeks. You watch in surprise that quickly turns into a deep warm feeling in your abdomen. Fuck, this is filthy, it’s depraved, you want it so bad. You dive in without any guidance, flat of your tongue licking fat stripes up his exposed hole. The wounded noise Asa makes only confirms this is definitely worth it.

You work him over, pressing the muscle around the edge and adding more pressure into the centre until your tongue finally slips in. You both moan in unison.

“Fuck that’s it, I knew a pathetic thing like you would be into this, you’re happy just as long as you’re getting used, ain’t that right?” Asa grits out as he pushes his hips back into your mouth.

Honestly you probably didn’t even hear that, too consumed with your task of making the man above you feel good, it felt depraved and dirty in all the right ways.

You vaguely register that Asa has began to tug on his cock whilst you eat him out, the wet noises mixing in a filthy way that makes you squeeze your legs together. you can tell he’s close from the way his hole flutters and tightens around your tongue.

Suddenly Asa grips you by the hair, causing you to wail in pain, and guides you to his front, pushing you bank onto your knees to face his cock.

“This is how this is going to go, I’m gonna jerk my cock over your slutty stupid little face and you’re going to sit there and look pretty whilst I cover it in my cum.”

You moan and nod eagerly, watching the way his precum beads at the tip, greedily wishing it was your mouth getting him off and not his hand.

With a final grunt and curse under his breath Asa finishes, streaks of warm cum splashing against your cheek and your hair. You look and feel used, it’s perfect. He tucks himself back into his pants and trousers and pets your face condescendingly.

“Well ain’t you a pretty picture?, sheriff”

[moonandsunwoo]

txt reaction to you moving in next door

# — pairing: txt x reader // strangers to smth

# — genre: fluuuuuff hi

# — warnings: none except a tale as old as time (that we love)

Another requested one!! Thanks for you kind words <3 i wasnt quite sure if thats what you meant (you said txt x reader so i assume a reaction with usual member specific sections) but if it isn‘t then feel welcomed to send another ask and specify! Im probably overthinking this but i just wanted to visualise my thought process (not that it was anyhow long). Have a nice week!

It is a bit longer than usual bc i wanted to include some sort of backstory! I am still scared of tumblr messing with my post as soon as i add a *read more* thingie, so i hope you can forgive me if i dont add one. If someone knows why it does that or how to fix (even better), please let me know!

Soobin — When you moved in, Soobin was thinking of preparing a welcoming gift - a little housewarming present you know. Especially because you would be right next door and he figured that with roommates like his, and their volume, it would be better to start off on a good note. Of course Beomgyu clowned him for it, but before Soobin could think twice, he‘d ring your doorbell with a bunch of flowers (he hoped seasonal but honestly he had no clue), and a box of muffins. Those he almost dropped when you opened the door however because oh my goddess you were cute- he almost forgot to introduce himself. When he returned to the dorm around a warm chat and a coffee in your half-furnished livingroom later, the redness of his cheeks had yet to fade and he (+ txtease) realised that this crush would probably remain for some time.

Yeonjun — He walked out the door one sunny day and straight into a huge box that was (a bit clumsily) placed in front of the it. You had apologised profusely and invited him for tea or coffee as a compensation for his poor foot. Little did you know that Yeonjuns foot had stopped hurting the second he had fully taken you in (which was fast) and he felt not mad but motivated to help you move in next to their dorm asap = so he could get to know you more also asap. And he did help, he carried boxes and lamps and bags into your new apartment, joking and discussing with you as if you and he had always been friends. You were so easygoing and friendly, Yeonjun felt drawn to you. Who knew that one misplaced box could be the start of such a cute friendship - or even further (but thats a story for another day)

Beomgyu — He heard suspiciously loud thuds from next door and decided to check it out. He heard from someone that they would get a new roommate (Beomgyu hoped for someone fun this time) so he assumed that the moving in would be the source of the concerning noises. He was absolutely correct, because the moment he was ringing your doorbell was the moment you singelhandedly decided to move your massive bed across the room. With more or less (less, significantly less) success however. So when you opened the door you were slightly out of breath, hair sticking up and face shiny — and Beomgyu almost cooed. He swore he had never seen something lovelier than you (and you thought the same, in all honesty, c’mon it’s Beomgyu) and immediately offered his help. Later he wondered if the universe really had to test his physical strength to such an extent but ultimately he wasn‘t complaining. Just like his self-proclaimed “minicrush“ wouldn’t stop growing after that :)

Taehyun — The two of you met in the lobby as strangers, entered the elevator as strangers and got off at the same floor as acquaintances. Or as “half friends” how Taehyun would describe it to his friends, not without feeling his heart warm a bit. When both of you pressed the same button it sparked a conversation and a laugh, and somehow the two you just clicked instantly! Taehyun felt grateful that you were the new neighbour and excited to spend more time with you. A frequent thing he’d do, was coming over to help you set up furniture or decorate. He always said he just liked doing stuff like this, but in reality he came for time spent together afterwards. A bit tired from the work and hungry, but happy and in good company, just glad to have met the other one. (I SHIP IT)

Hueningkai — He had been relaxing at home when the doorbell made his heart jump slightly. Opening the door made his heart jump again - for a different reason this time. You had (after overthinking it twice) decided to visit all your neighbours on the same floor and introduce yourself, bringing a little treat. Nothing big, but homemade, and Hueningkai would never grow tired of praising the taste. Like literally, he wouldn’t. stop. That was partly also because his brain short-circuited the second he invited you into their dorm, simply because you were so pretty and he was so not prepared for it. He also completely forgot you would be moving in so all he could really say with confidence, is that your gift tastes excellent (because it did) and since it seemed to make you smile and relax a bit, Kai decided to tap the full potential of it. Look he’s a shy boy, but shy never stopped a friendship from blooming (the lack of effort does tho, btw) and it surely didn’t stop yours from blossoming, trust me.

© moonandsunwoo

[pyode-luar-ke]

Can we get a yautja and a reader with dental braces?

teething problems | gn!yautja x gn!reader

A/N: everyone please just assume that the yautja in this story is like hyper-new to earth, like a first time scout or something, bc i know realistically there’d be no way a yautja wouldn’t know anything about braces 💀 they’ve studied humanity for like centuries or whatever, they’ve gotta know more about us that we do at this point lol

also, the “sand fish” thingies? made em up. think of a sea squirt.

enjoy!

summary: who knew that having braces could be kinda fun?

word count: 895

content: 18+, gn!reader, gn!yautja, pre-relationship, discussions of dentistry, arguing, warming up to each other, play fighting, my attempt at comedic writing

—

"So they are purely corrective?" Your alien... visitor asks, and you once again bat their clawed paw away from your mouth. They click, mandibles quivering in a manner you've come to learn as: Amusement. The ass.

For whatever reason, they've found your braces to be incredibly intriguing.

"Yeah, I guess. I certainly don't wear them for comfort." You laugh dryly, swatting away their paw once more before focusing on your work. Lately, they’ve been much more grabby, a far cry from when you first interacted with them when they wouldn’t even breathe near you for fear of contracting some “ooman virus”. 

Whatever. Two could play that game. You avoided them like the plague— saying they had Space Yautja Flu— until they inevitably stopped being ridiculous.

Now they’re touchy and frequently invade your personal space. Recently the fascination has become your mouth. Double-edged sword, you suppose.

"Such an archaic form of medicine." The Yautja snorts, crossing their arms over their chest. They shake their head, pitying, "Yautja technology would remedy your teeth in a matter of minutes.”

"Well, it's too bad we don't have that, do we?" You snap, and it definitely strikes a nerve in your companion, because they literally roar at you— Mandibles flaring, ivy green tresses raising, and all. You flinch, even though you don’t mean to. Yautja get nasty when you show weakness. They back off with a low growl.

The only reason, really, that you are currently harboring a Yautja in your dining room as you try to type up a report for your boss is because their ship got stolen. A huge embarrassment for them. Maybe they shouldn’t have landed it in fucking Yosemite. 

“Sorry, geez.” You mutter, clacking a bit harder at the keys of your laptop. It’s not your fault that Big Brother seized their ship, but it is a sore subject for them. You feel a bit bad. Shouldn’t’ve used that jab.

The Yautja says nothing for a long enough time that you nearly completely focus on your report again. Only the clock on the wall ticks, your keys clicking, and some light shuffling from the Yautja makes any noise. It’s peaceful— A rarity these days.

Halfway through the analysis section, you hear a door open somewhere in the house, followed by lumbering footsteps. Confused, you look to see that the Yautja had abandoned their spot next to you. Before you can call out, you hear a clatter quickly accompanied by a trill that tapers into rapid clicking.

“What the Hell are you doing?” You shout and the heavy footsteps fall closer and closer until the Yautja comes barreling around the corner. You jump when they leap next to you, their tresses swing wildly. Their green eyes are wide and bright, and their tusked jaws click together.

“What is this?” They ask, seemingly breathless, and you can barely process the question through their excitement before they thrust an object in your face. You have to stare down the bridge of your nose, and recognize the white metal contraption immediately.

“... My Waterpik?” You ask slowly, a quizzical look crossing your face as you stare at the device you use to clean up sometimes if the toothbrush or flossing missed some spots.

“The device plays like sand fish!” The Yautja exclaims, and they make that drawling, warbled trilling noise again, and it’s so strange, but you can’t help but smile. It must be the Yautja equivalent to laughing— to expressing joy. You tilt your head and ask, “Sand fish?”

“From childhood. As pups, we hunted the sand fish at Yautja Prime riverbanks, and when you grabbed them, they would squirt water at your eyes! Then we fileted and ate them. Very fun, very tasty.” The Yautja clicks so rapidly that you almost can’t follow what they say, but then they decide to make a case in point.

Before you can stop them, they’ve clicked and aimed the Waterpik at you, and the tiny jet stream of water hits you smack dab on the center of your forehead. You yelp, shielding your face with your arms only to get hit on the cheek and then on your side.

“Stop!” You can’t help but shriek in laughter, scrambling up from your chair to try and flee the unrelenting spurts of water. Big misstep. Yautja are hunters. You make it three steps— not even past the dining room table— until you’re seized by the arm. The large hand with its sharp claws wrap firm around your forearm, and your visitor all but pulls you back to them.

It’s a very... compromising position. The Yautja holds you against their body, their very toned thighs below your legs, your head against their chest. You look up at them, they look down at you. Your cheeks start to feel warm. They click their tusks together, and you catch sight of the forked tongue behind their secondary row of sharp teeth.

Then they start to purr. Then their mandibles relax, spreading wide and pink. 

For a second, you expect the evening to take a very different turn...

... Which is then ruined when they spray you with the Waterpik, directly in your eyes. You shriek, closing your eyes, your hands blindly swatting at the Yautja’s reptilian-esque hide.

They take the opportunity to stick their clawed fingers in your mouth, victoriously trilling.

The fascination is lost on you.

[sanguineterrain]

hehe hiii sanne. do u have any thoughts about steeb in that wonderful mind of yours that u want to share with the class (me)

u didn't ask but rn i'm thinking about cowboy steve n how his hair would be a little lighter bc he spends more time in the sun and also he would have more freckles also bc of the sun. and the way he'd occasionally just take off his hat and plop it on ur head when ur riding him n say that ur the cowboy now

okay um 🧍‍♀️something has been unleashed and I wrote a cowboy!steve x outlaw!reader thingy (gn reader | 561 words) @inkluvs

****

"Are these really necessary?"

You look down at Steve from your place on his lap. Your hands are still cuffed behind you.

"You're a criminal," he says, a touch strained. "'S a necessary precaution in my line of work."

You'd invited yourself into his lap a couple of minutes before. Neither of you has taken issue with how it's gone so far.

He's pretty. Too pretty, in your opinion. Certainly too pretty to be cuffing people, but maybe you're biased.

"C'mon," you continue, leaning in so your nose presses into his cheek. "How 'm I s'posed to kiss you right with my hands behind my back?"

Steve's skin is warm and tanned from days of chasing you through the Rockies. His starched white shirt is partially unbuttoned, and you can see dozens of freckles on his throat. You wonder if they go all the way down.

He scoffs. "I'm sure you can figure something out."

You push down on his lap and Steve grunts. The sound thrills you.

"Act tough all you want," you say. "But I know how easy you are, Harrington."

You're a hair away from his mouth. One large hand slides behind your neck, but you dodge his grip, sitting back on your haunches.

"Unlock me," you order, grinding on the front of his trousers.

"Absolutely not," he says through gritted teeth.

"Hm." You shift. Steve automatically holds onto your waist. "This what you pictured while you chased me down?"

His Adam's apple bobs in a deep swallow. You lean in and kiss the sweat on his collarbone. He tastes like salt. You let your teeth scrape against his skin. Steve's hips buck.

"Quit teasin'," he says, breaths heavy like you punched them out.

You did sock him before, weeks ago. You think he might be a glutton for punishment, your cowboy.

"Oh, you're giving orders now? Baby, you couldn't make it a day without touching me."

You travel up to his jaw, then under his ear to suck the tender skin there. Steve grunts, his hands clenching your waist.

"Look'it you," you whisper. "Gaggin' for it, ain't cha? Bet you dreamed 'bout this."

"I-I did not."

The flush spreads high on his cheeks. Steve looks up at you, eyes bleary. You feel for the small hook in your cuffs.

"Tell me how much you want me, honey pie," you coo. "Go on."

You nip at the shell of his ear. Steve shivers and whines. You grin.

"You're real sweet, huh?" you say. "Bet you'd give anything to kiss me. Big, bad desperado Harrington just needs a soft touch. Ain't that right?"

"I am—" Steve takes a deep breath. "I'm here to take you in."

The hook in your cuff releases. You pull your left hand free and lean in, lips an exhale from Steve's.

"I'd love to see you try, sweetheart."

Steve lunges, but you're too quick. He's clumsy with heat and desire. You kick his chair and dance backward, snatching your holster in the process.

"Get back here!" he grits out.

You laugh, shaking your wrist. The cuffs jingle.

"This was fun. You ask me nice and I'll cuff you next time, baby."

You close the door and jam the lock, Steve's shouts chasing you all the way down the stairs.

Yes, he's much too pretty to be cuffing people. But plenty pretty for other things.

[callmearcturus]

Arc Plays Games: Nora to Toki no Koubou: Kiri no Mori no Majo (NDS)

(apparently in English that's something like "Nora the Time Witch")

I'm gonna try something and try to keep track of all the games I play this year. First up is this extremely cute little that honestly got me through being sick as hell over the holiday. It is kind of perfect as a game for your brain at 40%.

Nora is a DS game that has better "Cozy" feel than most games under the cozy game genre. Basically, Nora (the character) is a chronomancer, so she can do time magic. She's a rookie so she's supposed to be learning how to get good at chronomancy. She's sent to a lil cottage in the woods to bone up on her skills.

The house and garden are extremely precious. You can redecorate the cottage, move furniture and crafting items around, change the walls and floor. The garden has friends and you can lure in cute creatures.

The main loop of the game is in three parts. First is making items to fulfill requests for townsfolk and friends. You'll be asked to make a certain item, and have to figure out the best way to do so with time magic, dismantling raw materials, and processing materials into new stuff. You start off with just a work table and the time magic thingie, then get more and more crafting options like sewing tables and smokers and stuff.

Then you turn in those items and get other items in return and make people happy!

There's also foraging, bc obviously you need materials to make stuff.

There's a whole map with multiple places to go and each of those locations has different materials to gather.

When you arrive at a location, there are interactable things that will give you different materials. Some are sparkly and also give you random effects, like increased rarity, more items, or monsters.

You might want to grab the sparklies first to try and booth the number of materials you get, but on the other hand you might find a monster instead.

Battles are the third pillar. There are a SHOCKING amount of party members, and you can pick and choose teams depending on what you want.

Want to make sure you survive really tough monsters? Go with the errant knight lady and the big friendly city watch guy. Want to get more materials? Go with the soft-spoken clinic worker who can spot more herbs of the 12 year old shop girl who fucking LOVES rocks and can find you more rocks. But the clinic girl isn't great in a fight, so you gotta be careful.

Party members include: a weird mercenary dude who just wants to be the cool knight lady, the buff city watch man who has tea parties and tries to kill monsters with stale bread, the clinic lady who secretly can deadlift a tree, aforementioned 12 year old who thinks rocks are just soooooo cool, the hot knight lady who i think has the hots for Nora but i'm not sure, a Capitalist, a thief who kinda sucks, and a mascot character.

I weirdly ADORE the economy/shop system in this game.

Sometimes when you are selling off old equipment or excess materials, the shopowner will counteroffer your request for money with rare items instead.

YOU CAN DO THIS TOO. Most of the stock in the shops can be bought outright OR you can choose "Buy with items" and offer up stuff in exchange for the item you want.

Shops have normal stock but also special stock you can only get by trading the right materials. The armory guy has swords and stuff BUT if you want the good shit, bring him a dragon scale instead.

I bounce off a lot of these kind of soft, cute games because they don't feel like they have depth but this game sooooo does. I would say the only downside is when you struggle to make a certain items or find a certain material, you... sometimes just gotta figure it out, because this game was an oddball Japanese-only Atlus title and the fan translation isn't super well-known, there isn't a robust wiki to refer you. Just figure it out!

Anyway, solid fucking 4 out of 5 on this game. If you can emulate DS games, you can locate this one pretty easily if you know where to look. (And if you don't know where to look, send me an ask off-anon and I will direct you a bit.)

gd i maybe need to try an atelier game...........