#also sun is never letting him live this down just fyi

[cas-backwards-tie]

Chapter Two: A New Day Dawns

COD men x Reader

Trials & Triumphs | Previous Chapter

Summary: After familiarizing yourself with everyone in your squadron, departure is upon you. With a loose thread that reeks of a fishy lead into the underworld your long-op needs, you can only hope that your strike team--TaskForce 141--knows what they're doing.

Words: 5.5k

Warnings: cursing, death, murder, blood, descriptions of death, weapons, gunfire, hostages, injury, bombs, graphic descriptions of injuries, tension, suspense, military lingo(?)

Mentions of: crime, government,

A/N: Delving deeper into the mission and some of the darker themes and topics that I hope to venture into... I'm gonna remind that the warnings should be thoroughly looked at. FYI I will also be putting all the lingo I'm using at the bottom of the fic, right before the taglists. And if anything ever comes up that you don't understand, just send comment, send an ask, or message me <3

The sun is beating down in focused rays of energy, simultaneously fueling and draining you of resolve. Considering your squad has been staking out a suspected hideout of an acquaintance to your Primary Target now for hours, it makes sense. Sometimes the hardest part of the job is the most seemingly simple piece of the puzzle. This isn't going to be easy, by any means. While the roots of the Party live and breathe throughout the world, there's no way of telling that anyone is overtly a 'participant'. However, hacking, biometric data, and DNA have all played a role in supplying enough evidence to at least garner suspicion and questions among the FBI. Over time, evidence had to be sent through Interpol and its sequestered national databases, eventually proferring up the fact that this is no longer a national threat, but a global-scale threat.

The epidemic you're facing isn't a localized problem, but one that's been brewing and festering beneath the surface for ages to come.

Data, files, and transmissions had been carefully collected in clustered patterns and sporadic correspondences over the past six years in order to get where your mission lies today. "We see him land- we go in, secure the perimeter, get him, and shut it down. You got it?"

The plan had been laid out a week before time. Mister Boris Wagner, a mid-level entry into the world you need access to. He'll know the ins and outs of the underground, the layout of their corner in the black market... the signs, the warnings, the signals.

"König, I need you on infiltration. I've heard it's your specialty, let's see it in action!" Having hyped up the team on their allotted positions and ability to accomplish this delicate task, you have no doubts you'll be interrogating Wagner by the end of the night. "Keegan, you're with me. We go in, stealth is our goal. You and me find him, take him down."

"B team's with Captain Price. He'll tell you what to do. Horangi, I need you in the nest. Up top as surveillance. Got that?" A nod from the Korean is all you need, grateful to see that he's listening, paying attention, and knows what he'll be doing. "Graves, you're on perimeter duty. You and Horangi should be in close touch." Ignoring the somewhat annoyed sound that emanates from the Commander, you lean further against the table, hands splayed out across the map as you continue to point and circle around the map at various locations according to your plans. "König, once you've cleared the building I need you on standby with Graves keeping a lookout. Hopefully, we shouldn't have too much trouble with Horangi looking over our shoulder and Bravo team less than a quarter mile north, but you never know."

Just a month prior NATO had gotten tip-offs from a certain South Asian country that there'd been illegal shipments crossing through their borders coming and going. They'd tracked them down to a group of buildings, what looked like houses in an Al-Mazrah community just twenty miles outside the city. Without civilians to worry about, it makes things fortunate for your operation, yet on the other hand, you're not quite sure what lies in wait within the houses you've been told your Target is lined up for a meeting at.

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"I've got eyes on the Target," Ghost's gruff voice comes through the comms. He's on the Northern side of the mountains, just nineteen kilometers away.

"Affirmative. Suspect is in an AFV accompanied by three others." It's the Captain. With Bravo team clearly already within range of the enemy, you all know it's game on.

"Copy, loud and clear. Remain in position. Over," you instruct, lying in the sand beside Horangi in the rooster's nest your team's help built him for sniping and surveillance.

"There are twenty five soldiers, at less," Horangi speaks. Still looking through the scope, he continues to watch the scene unfold.

"Notify them," you command him. While he'd done the courtesy of letting you know that verbally, along with the Alpha team, you can't let Bravo down. They need the warning as well. Horangi takes to this immediately, Keegan garners your attention with a bump of his forearm against yours.

"They're headed inta the buildin'. Should we head out? Pack up?" Pulling the binoculars up to your eyes you can see the well-dressed man exit the vehicle, guards on either side of him loaded with AK-47s and strapped with tactical gear. Jaw tense, you can't help but lick your lips and take a deep breath as you contemplate.

"Soldiers spreading out, taking formation and securing a perimeter." This time it's Gaz's voice that rings out over the comms.

"Two AFVs roundin' perimeter. Do'ya think th-" Soap's transmission is cut off as another voice pipes in.

"They definitely know we're here. Got them parked East side of the building's," Graves informs. Pulling your eyes away from the scene and off the binoculars you look over your shoulder back at him. His intense blue eyes stare down at you, a stoic expression on his face; if you didn't know any better, you'd guess he's already disappointed you didn't barge in and set up camp before their arrival.

The comms start to go a little haywire as Bravo team starts asking questions to one another. "Just waiting on Team Leader to give the go ahead," Captain Price answers one of them. You catch this, and immediately butt in.

"I say we're clear. All stations are a go. Handing it over to you, Captain." With one last quick breath of peace exiting through your nose, you sit up. Dusting off your tac pants, you head for your packs. In the distance, you can hear the commotion of panic as the enemy starts to panic. As soon as you'd given permission, you knew Ghost was going to take down the spotters with his sniper. Horangi doing the same. The quiet fwips of the bullet slicing through the air--thankfully--not in your direction, is comforting... for now.

"South side clear. You're ready to go. Watch for East side. Do not know what is behind the A F V," Horangi informs you. Slinging the backpack straps over your shoulders, you untuck your braid from it before giving him one last look and a thanks, before heading out.

"I got it," König announces. While you'd both put on your packs at the same time, he's already practically running down the hill in plain sight. Though the sun's already begun to set and the desert is cast mostly in light blue on the South side where you're stationed, the man's still highly visible considering he's a hulking giant. The momentum of gravity takes him down the hill faster and faster, the Austrian making quick work of the soldiers that unfortunately round the AFV unsuspectingly, terrified screams echoing out shortly before they're quickly silenced by the Giant's handiwork.

"I've got South side then. Watch out for... him," Graves warns you, eyeing the Austrian suspiciously as König yanks the knife he's carrying out of the man's neck, a gush of blood blubbering up and out of the wound onto the concrete below. Turning your attention back to Graves you find him feet away heading in that direction, having silently departed without another word or acknowledgment.

"We've got five in the building. That I can see, at least. The right side and basement are grayed out," Keegan announces. Lifting the night vision scope momentarily, Keegan lays a hand on his waist as he waits for the Austrian to join the conversation. "So you're goin' in first. Clearin', then we follow?" The Southern boy clarifies.

"No, we're following as he's clearing. We need to back him, Keeg. You can't just let him go in alone. Especially if it's grayed out. Where are the five you can see?" Turning the safety off your SMG, you arm yourself. A roll of the shoulders, you eye the building before you, ignoring the way the dark blood stains on König's uniform stand out in the periphery of your vision.

"We've got hostages, Tiara." Nightvision goggles on, you know Keegan's not messing around when he calls you by your callsign. "Three, top floor left side. Looks like a woman and two children. One in the hallway behind them. One on the ground floor by the right side."

"Shit," you curse, "okay." Closing your eyes, you get yourself together. There's no telling whether there will be hostages on any given mission, and while it's usually not an issue, there's always a greater chance of something going awry when there are hostages involved. At least, in your opinion. "König? You've got a plan? We're following you, okay? We've got your back. We can do this. I suggest we go ground floor and then head upstairs, but you're the expert."

"Ja." It's as simple as that. You'd have thought you'd get anything more than one word from the Austrian man. Maybe you'd wanted more, maybe if he'd said something- anything, then you'd be reassured in any way, shape, or form, but the fact that he'd simply agreed and turned on his heel heading straight for the door is something you were unprepared for.

Nevertheless, this is the work. Expect the unexpected. Graves is still in the clear, and while the comms have been separated between teams from the moment you'd given the go, everything seems to be--thank god--going according to plan. Following the Giant into the building, you're a little surprised that he's as quiet as he is. Sure, you're not completely taken aback. I mean, he's in the military, surely he'd be somewhat stealthy, no? Well... thinking on it, you've known some people who aren't, but anyway--this is special ops--of course he'd be. Needless to say, you're impressed. Through the front door, you can see through cutout doorway to your left a vacated living room, and the beginnings of a staircase, the rest blocked by the wall before you.

König goes right, through the cutout doorway opposite where you'd been looking. It's the direction Keegan had pinpointed someone's location on the border of a grayed-out area. With it grayed out for him, the building must have one side, and the basement, encased in concrete or some other durable material too thick to see through. With that in mind, it could also mean they have either a bunker, or a bomb shelter in place for one reason or another. "Proceed with caution," you whisper.

"Affirmative," both men respond, one after the other. Keegan watches your six while you watch König's surroundings. Blocked by the Austrian's stature, you can't see but hear a gun pop and watch as König rushes forward through the next cutout doorway and drop-kicks the soldier onto the floor. His gun goes skittering across the hardwood floor, the small chandelier in the dining room shaking along with the whole house, dust filtering down from the crevices in the panels above your heads.

The enemy shouts something in Arabic that you don't understand, but is quickly silenced when König breaks their neck. It's too late. Gunfire fills your ears as bullets rain down from the ceiling. It's the person in the hallway upstairs! Bullets ricochet off gear and you can't help but disperse as you run through the opening on your left, a hallway that connects on the other side of the way you'd just come. Like a loop! At the bottom of the stairs, you ready yourself for an enemy ahead as you decide to forgo König's help and do this yourself. You know that there will be hostages ahead of you, approximately three, Keegan guessed, and while you don't know if they simply appeared as hostages through the goggles, and it's a trap... you'll have to take that risk. It's nothing you haven't done before, right?

"Tiara, wait!" Keegan calls after you.

While gunfire continues to resound through the dining room you'd come from, you aren't sure whether it's from the person you're going after, or one of your teammates trying to retaliate and shoot the Tango through the floor. No time to waste, you continue quietly walking up the steps and entering the room above. It only takes a moment for you to spot someone. The glimpse of a purple scarf elicits your attention; the whimper, and attempt to cower further into the corner, however, tells you all you need to know.

Eyes resettling on the doorway you're sure the real enemy is behind, you continue to step forward. It isn't until you can meet the woman's eyes that you're able to put a hand up, attempting to tacitly comfort her. It hurts, the way your heart clenches at the sight of her cowering in the corner behind the desk, her baby tucked into her lap between her knees curled up as high as they can go in an attempt to shield the precious life she'd created. An older, still young boy--couldn't be older than six or seven--clings onto his mother's arm with his body, while the other hand presses itself to his ear, eyes screwed shut.

You know why you're doing this... and it's so moments like these will never have to happen. Not just to this family, but to any family, hopefully, for a long, long time, if not, ever again.

Just feet away the demanding voice of a man shouts something in Arabic. You don't know what he's saying, you're unable to tell, and can't decide if he's talking to you... through a comm... to himself. He's not surrendering, you doubt that. It's only as the woman's lip wobbles and struggles to say something, opening and closing like a fish out of water that you realize. He's forcing her to keep lookout.

When she doesn't answer immediately, he yells something else, stomping around the corner before his eyes meet yours. Immediately firing, a bullet whizzes past you, another grazing your arm as you fire back. One- it hits his leg, eliciting a groan and a contortion of his face as fury takes over. Two- it embeds into his shoulder, twisting his body from the recoil as he has to steady himself. You slide to your right, past and behind the opposite side of the desk the family is at, a trail of bullets not stopping as he follows your figure, shooting the desk, bits of wood flying into the air. As he rounds the desk you aim and fire the last one--three--it sinks into his stomach. If the others wouldn't have taken him out eventually from infection or bleeding out, he's definitely gone now.

His body sinks to the floor, and you can't help but stay there on the floor, lying half up-right as you gather yourself. The creaking of floorboards signals someone's arrival and you gasp, quickly turning your gun on them. "Scheisse," König curses, eyeing you from the doorway. "We found the entrance."

A sigh of relief leaves you. Holstering your gun, you get yourself standing before rounding the desk and offering a hand out to the woman. "We're here to help you." She shakes her head, only clutching onto her children tighter, tears cascading down her cheeks silently. It's clear she doesn't believe you. With your hands, you attempt to communicate. Circling the three of them, you point outside.

"Do you want me to grab them?" König offers, still lingering in the doorway. You know from having read his file that he's actually good with hostages, usually taking his time and being patient with them, earning their trust. Something you're sure isn't easy for someone his size and stature, easily mistaken as intimidating, you're sure. Yet, you know that if they've found an entrance to whatever's beneath the house and Wagner's already aware of your presence then it's only a matter of minutes in your hands: you either get to him now and leave the hostages here for god knows what to happen to them, or you get the hostages to safety and let Wagner escape.

"Give her a minute," you answer calmly, voice quiet as you take a step back, hands up. If she wants to stay for now, that's fine. Perhaps, you can send Graves in to get them. Though knowing the Commander it might not be your favorite choice. Nevertheless, your eyes roam her one more time, and perhaps it's the inkling of a smile you gave her beneath your mask, or something in your eyes, but she relinquishes. Grip loosening on her child, she stands, baby still coddled in her arms. Holding onto the boy's hand, her other carrying the baby, you motion for her to leave her hiding spot. "You're safe now, I promise."

As the family rounds the desk hesitantly, you follow, making sure that they're okay. König holds out a hand to the child, his hand practically monstrous in comparison, yet the child looks between his mother and the Austrian before hesitantly taking ahold. Guiding them outside, König is quick to get them to Graves, politely shooing the family's attempts to now thank him. "T, we've got-" Graves begins.

"Secure them, please. We've found the bunker," König informs the Commander as he hands the family off.

"Gaz, I-" Graves speaks into his comms, fingers pressed up to his ear as the other dismisses you two.

König quickly jogs back to the house, and you follow suit. Keegan is pacing around a door you hadn't spotted in the dining room. "Finally! God. B team is drownin'. We went to the wrong buildin' and Horangi saw Wagner go into this building, so he has to be in here, but there are more soldiers at the North building."

"Distraction?" König proposes, cracking the metal door further open than it'd already been. With careful steps he starts slowly down the first few.

"Drowning?" You ask, seeking clarification.

"They've been dealing with hostages out the wazoo! They had ta delegate Gaz and Soap just to securin' the hostages. Anyway- doesn't matter. They've almost cleared the buildin' an' no sight of Wagner. Ghost hasn't seen him, trying to figure out if he's escaped."

"So we check here," König states, eyes shifting between the two of you and down the steep corridor of concrete steps.

"Exactly," Keegan agrees. Goggles on, he nods his head, ushering you in first. "I'll trail ya, make sure nobody's followin' us."

"Okay. Well, did you at least inform Price what we're about to do?" You question Keegan, needing to know that whatever you're stumbling into you're not going in blind without reinforcements. If there's one thing you're sure of, it's that once you're underground, there most likely won't be anymore reception and comms will go dead.

"Affirmative," Keegan answers, lifting his fingers up to his ear, "but if it makes you feel better. All stations, Tiara, König, and I are going dark." With everyone informed, your anxiety lessens just a smidge.

The tunnel is lined with sconces encased in little cages, classic bunker lights. The hallway smells of mildew, oddly, and the long grey hallway is eerily silent. Minutes of walking turns into what could probably be approximated by a football field's length walk. Your quiet footsteps slightly echoing and bouncing off the close walls. Finally, you can see there's an opening ahead where it looks like the tunnel opens up into a large room. In the middle of the room lies a large covered pallet you can see even from yards away. Upon getting closer you can hear the buzz of radios and have to assume there's a control station of sorts down here. Surely, there's bound to be more people, too. Though oddly enough you haven't seen anyone, yet.

Just as you breach the cutout opening up the room, you can see the layout clearly. In the middle of the room beside the pallet is a huge beam that holds up the ceiling. On the other side of the room lies a stairway upstairs, presumably to the Northern building Bravo team just cleared, and on the right side of the room in the corner is a control station. A huge TV is hung on the wall, along with a computer on a desk, radios, dials, and cabinets. Next to the control station is another cutout leading toward another open room, though all you see are shelving and what looks like a glimpse of a root cellar-type door.

Despite your keen ability to take in observation and information quickly, you're immediately swarmed by the enemy. Flanked by soldiers on either side, from the other room to the right, the stairway opposite you, and whoever had been hiding in the left corner waiting for you as you came all the way down the hallway, they clearly planned for this. It's a trap.

In the center emerges Wagner from his men, a smug smile on his ugly frog face as his eyes once you over. "Who sent you?" He asks.

"Give us the next meeting location of the Party and you'll find out," Keegan barters, aiming his pistols at Wagner's men, he doesn't back down.

A throaty and nasally chuckle escapes the man as he shoves his hands in his pockets. "We've got you surrounded. Do you really think you're in the best place to bargain with me?" The air of confidence and egotistical nonchalance is enough to make you want to vomit. "I will only ask one more time."

As the man continues to speak, König braves another step inside. Due to his size, it's considerable. He's got his Glock out, eyes scanning the room as he eventually lands on yours, silently and subtly affirming a plan. You shift your gaze to Keegan, and then back to König before subtly nodding, hoping and praying it goes unnoticed as you attempt to play it off as nervousness, moving as if you're just new and untrained. As Wagner goes to speak again, the first syllable to interrupted by the sound of gunfire as you both start firing. Pops, whizzes, and pings of ricochet echo throughout the space as a gunfight goes down. Bodies drop left and right as you'd had the upper hand of an at least somewhat formulated plan. Keegan wasn't going to back down and was ready, you knew this, König was game, and you two were in sync. Together, you all have multiple rounds.

Their armor-piercing bullets make them drop like flies while your quickfire gun had at least stunned, wounded, and distracted long enough to get more kills in. König takes the left, you take the right, and Keegan decides to go straight down the middle after Wagner. It's only when there's a loud beeping sound that things go sideways. König goes after the soldiers and Wagner as they attempt to flee upstairs through the Northern building. As you get the last two guys in the adjacent room, you don't hear Keegan doing anything, which worries you to say the least.

A little focus goes a long way; one of the men uses your distraction as an advantage, switching to melee as he slices your arm with a knife. Stumbling backward with a cry you kick him in the stomach as he lunges at you again. Shooting generally at the second man you manage to fire multiple rounds at him, his body dropping. While the man you'd kicked fell flat on his butt, he pulls something out from his pocket, a scared look in his eye as he moves without thought. Meeting his eyes for only a moment, you see him pull the pin. "Shit!" Without thought you drop your gun and run into the next room, sliding as far away as you can before ducking and covering, attempting to shield yourself from the grenade blast as best you can.

Boom!

"T?" It's calm, yet you can hear his breathing, and it's somewhat shaky. Uncurling from yourself, you spot Keegan just feet away, lying by the pallets on something you'd failed to spot earlier. How could you fail to spot something as obvious as that? Panic immediately rises to the surface as your heart pounds in your chest. Underneath the lower half of his body lies a pad- a trigger of some sort, a pressure pad. It's a form of lock used to release the mechanism in the system for a bomb to start counting down. As you take in the way he's clutching his stomach and how there's blood seeping not only from around his fingers, but from another place in his thigh, you can't help but feel yourself freeze.

Your eyes finally meet his, following them as they stay locked onto the giant television that's on the wall. It's crooked now, dangling, most likely from the grenade that'd just gone off, yet... it's no longer a dark screen. It's on... and there's a countdown clock on it. "I'm so sorry! I didn't see it- I just went for 'im- I couldn't let 'im get away, I-" Keegan begins to blabber, his voice coming out much more sorrowful than you're used to.

"It-" you scramble onto your knees, hands up as you try to shut him up, "It's fine! It's fine! Just- just..." Mind going a mile a minute you can't help but flounder as you try to figure out what to do. A bomb's going to go off. You don't know that you can get Keegan out of here safely, intact, in time. Not to mention, Wagner could be getting away right now.

"You have to get him! Go! Leave me," Keegan demands, gripping your shirt and tugging on it, forcing you to get his attention. "Don't think! Just act. Get him! It's your duty, soldier. GO!"

Pure adrenaline courses through your body at this point in time as you run through the basement and up the stairs you'd seen. You only have your service pistol in hand, and aren't sure where everyone else had gone. As the space opens up into the hangar of the Northern building there's a sporadic quiet pops of gunfire to the South, while directly to your West there's suddenly a gigantic BOOM! You can hear multiple voices in your ear all shouting and directing one another as they scramble with whatever situations they're in. Concentration escapes you as you can't help the overwhelming anxiety that floods your body, dread, and fear continuously washing over you in waves over and over.

"If you have the shot, take him out!" You hear Graves shout into the comms.

"It's too close-" Ghost responds, voice cool and calm. "Either tell 'im to lead 'im away or get outta there. Now."

While you have no idea what they're talking about, you can guesstimate. Regardless, with the sound of gunfire close by and the sound of their voices you know they're all not too far away. If anything, it seems like all the chaos has shrunken down to just surrounding this building.

"Horangi, update!" Gaz demands. There's another boom, and then another. Though it shakes the ground you're standing on and causes you to stumble and almost trip over your own two feet, you manage to get outside the open hangar doors the team had bust down. Smoke fills the air, and you can now see what's going on. "Update!"

"It should be down now. They are blind." Horangi responds.

Ghost is still in the B team's roost nest keeping lookout. While far away, you know he's not focused on whatever's going on here. The smoke makes it hard to see, and you wind up coughing as you wave it from your face. Through it, you can barely make out what you think is the rest of B team attempting to gather and herd the hostages. Dozens upon dozens of civilians scream, cry, and huddle a few yards South, closer to where Graves had been stationed. You assume he's still there. Closest to you, an AFV is active. Clearly, one of the last remaining soldiers jumped into the tank and decided the only way to protect themselves was by using it to save themselves. Or, to take out everyone, including the civilians, since it seems that's where the blasts were going.

"Fuckin' hell, finally. McKay, Gaz, moving in," Soap announces.

"NO!" You yell. Though you don't have your comms on, you shout into the distance and know they can hear you. "Soap, I need you! Graves, McKay, Wilson- anyone can help, but I need you- there's a bomb!" Eyes looking between where you know Soap's approximately located and the basement, you know you have to hurry. "Keegan- he's- I need you. Now!"

"Fuck," you hear Soap curse. "On my way!" While you can hear skirmishes going on to the right somewhere, you focus on regaining your breath. As the sound of feet padding toward you gets closer you raise your pistol just in case. "Christ's sake, Lass! Dinnae point that thing at me, yeah?" With a sigh, he pats your back. "Lead the way."

Back down in the basement, you're relieved to be back by Keegan's side. At least then, you know you can do your work. Something you'd always been good at on testing day was being an on-field medic, so while you don't necessarily want to ever have to... when push comes to shove, you're glad you can and know how to.

With gentle hands you gently feel around his thigh for the bullet. To your surprise, he'd gotten lucky with his leg, the bullet only slightly lodged into it. While the general rule of thumb is to keep any intrusive objects within until in a safe place to remove them, that doesn't apply when you can easily tourniquet the wound. After all, from inspection, you can see that the blood was seeping from around the bullet anyhow. Keegan was either moving around too much, opening and tearing the wound further, or he tried dislodging the bullet by himself. A bad idea either way.

Unslinging the backpack from your shoulders you undo your medkit and get out the antiseptic, gauze, and scissors. "I can't stitch you up here, but on the helo I can fix you up," you reassure him. Gently smacking Keegan's arm a few times you attempt to keep him awake. "Hey, hey! Hey- Keeg- what happened? Tell me what happened, talk to me. Say something."

Eyelids continuously fluttering between open and closed, you debate whether or not this is serious enough to stab him with the Epi-Pen. "Don't make me stab you with the Epi-Pen, Sergeant."

"Is that a threat?" His words come out slow and somewhat slurred, but it's enough for you. He's still awake. Still responsive, that's good. You brace one hand above the wound to keep him in place, while the other grabs the small pair of forceps that'd been in your medkit. In truth, you'd rather warn him of what you're about to do, but in all honesty it's probably better to just do it and get it over with. Rip the bandaid off, for lack of better words.

"How's it looking over there, MacTavish?" You ask, trying to keep things casual and calm. Silently counting down in your mind, you place the grips of the forceps around the bullet in Keegan's leg. Three... Two... One.

Keegan's scream rips through the basement, making both you and the Scot jump in your skin. The Southern boy jolts, attempting to sit upright. You hush him and force him back down. "It's okay, it's okay. That's done! It's done. I just have to wrap it."

"No... stop. It's fine," he refutes, trying to push your hands away. Never, have you given him a stink eye like now, he thinks.

Soap clears his throat. "How long's that gonna take? Exactly?" There's an audible tension in his voice. With swift hands you make quick work of the final knot in the tourniquet on Keegan's thigh, ignoring his groans. Looking over your shoulder you notice the sweat donning Johnny's eyebrow.

"Why? What's wrong?" You ask. Coming closer, you look over his shoulder at all the wires connected to the batteries, switches, and jumpers on the pallet. Bombs were never your specialty. Of course, everyone knew about the simple sort of red, blue, and yellow situation. Red is usually bad, yellow equals okay, and blue is good. But... that's not always the situation. You'd only ever done the practice exams, and... well, didn't exactly pass most of them. Therefore, that specialty was definitely out of the question for you. Needless to say, the device sat before you is more complicated than the Da Vinci code. "He has a whole laceration on his stomach that's bleeding severely. I'd have to do stitches- that'd take... fifteen minutes, tops? If they're good. Bad? Ten. Unsterilized, which could kill him... five? but... we're not doing the latter."

"Then we've gotta move him. And fast," Johnny instructs. The downturn of his lips doesn't shift as he turns to face you head-on. "I'm not risking two teammates for some jugaad bomb. I can carry him upstairs easy."

Together it was exactly what Soap had predicted: easy. Keegan wasn't in good shape, but he was alive. The rest of the mission flies by, and soon you find yourself sitting strapped into the helo seat, hands cradling your head as you process everything that'd just happened.

~~~~~~~~~~

acronyms:

AFV: Armored-Fighting Vehicle

SMG: Sub-Machine Gun

Tango: Target or Enemy (aka the saying "tango down")

forever taglist: @ohdamnadam , @safarigirlsp , @jynzandtonic , @moonlightsolo

t&t taglist: @cosychick , @konigsqueen , @cutegor3

[gojosoath]

wilted grace — nanami/gojo fic

MINORS DON'T INTERACT // 18+ ONLY!

pairing: nanami kento x gojo satoru x fem!reader (uses she/her pronouns) x poly relationship

tags: romance x angst x smut x polyamory x AU (no sorcerer stuff in this au, nanami and gojo are just normal dudes living in a normal world, lol) x oral(f!receiving)

warnings: a bit of an age gap (everyone is a consenting adult fyi) summary: (AU) The story follows Y/N, Nanami and Gojo in a polyamorous relationship; the three of them navigating the new dynamic relationship for the first time in their lives. The three of them begin exploring aspects both emotionally and sexually, finding themselves on a complex journey of facing their inner demons and also healing themselves.

Table of Contents // my ao3 taglist: @adequate-superstar ; @chifuxu ; @moonlightchildz ; @crown5 ; @frankiesteins-world ; @peachytears11 ; @chaneleden ; @izu-fi

DO NOT REPOST/COPY MY WORKS ANYWHERE ELSE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ©gojosoath

a/n: first off, i am SO SORRY that it's taken me MONTHS to write this chapter. this was the chapter that gave me horrible writer's block. i never intended for it to take me this long, but i literally would stare at my screen for hours on and off and not be able to come up with anything. that being said, this chapter is probably horrible. and i'm sorry about that. either way, thank you to everyone's continuous support, feedback is VERY much encouraged.

Part 9: Tonight, We Dance a Strange Dance (wc: 7.3k)

The next day, when you woke up to go to the bathroom, you saw that you were still bleeding. It wasn’t as bad as last night, but still there. After you got out of the bathroom, you went over to Nanami, who was surprisingly still asleep. He was sleeping on his stomach, arms underneath the pillow. You had discovered that Nanami slept with his mouth wide open. You knelt next to Nanami’s bed and for a couple of moments, you didn’t disturb him. He looked so at peace, that you almost didn’t want to wake him up. You decided not to, leaning in and giving his cheek a small kiss. Nanami stirred awake at your movement, making you freeze up, your face only inches away from his. 

He blinked a few times and a soft smile formed on his lips when he saw you, “Hey,” His voice was raspy. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you up,” You say to him, setting your arms on the edge of the bed. 

“What time is it?” Nanami asks.

“Close to ten in the morning,” You tell him. 

Nanami sits up, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands, the blanket falling and exposing his bare body. He looked like a Greek God, the sun reflecting from behind the window forming a halo-like resemblance around his head. The sunlight kissed his toned body, his blonde hair disheveled and over his forehead. His fingers went underneath your chin, giving it a soft, playful pinch. 

“I’m still bleeding,” You tell Nanami.

Nanami’s posture switches from tiredness to alertness, all of a sudden looking wide awake, “Shit, does it hurt?” His arms reach out for you and you crawl up into his embrace, being engulfed in his scent. 

“It doesn’t hurt, just kind of looks like I’m on my period. But I don’t start my cycle for another couple of weeks,” You inform him. 

Nanami signs, placing a kiss on top of your head, “Let’s eat breakfast and head to urgent care to get it checked out.” 

┅

You and Nanami sat in a room at the urgent care, while the nurse took your blood pressure. Nanami sat at one of the chairs by the computer while you were up on the bed. Nanami wore a casual shirt with black jeans. The attire was yet again a new one you had seen Nanami in; he looked so sexy. The machine around your finger beeped and the nurse took a look at it;

“Alright, everything looks normal,” The nurse opened up one of the cabinets in the room and handed you a dressing gown, “take everything off from the waist down,” they instructed you. They gathered their items and before they headed out of the room, notified you and Nanami that the doctor would be with you two shortly. 

You hopped off the bed, a sigh leaving your lips, “I hate these things,” You hold up the dressing gown, the clothing dropping from its neatly folded structure. 

Nanami reaches out with his hand, “I’ll help you tie it.” 

You hand him the dressing gown and then say, “Don’t look, I’m shy.” Nanami chuckles, holding up the dressing gown so it covers his face and you tug it down, both of you laughing. “No, watch me,” You imply with a smirk on your lips, pulling it down so the gown is down to your chest. 

Nanami helps you get dressed in the gown, tying the strings on the back, followed by a small smack on your butt that makes you yelp. You get back onto the bed and the doctor comes in, introducing themselves and asking you questions about your situation. You answer truthfully and then the doctor instructs you to lie down on your back with your legs spread so they can examine between your legs. The coldness of the bed seeps through your skin, making you slightly shiver. Your hands grip the side of the bed as the doctor puts on their gloves and goes to sit in between your legs. 

“I’m just gonna take a look on the outside first,” The doctor explains, feeling the rubber elastic of their gloves around your outer labia. 

Nanami stands up and comes to your side where his hand goes to yours, his warm hand lacing with yours. You look up at him and he gives you a reassuring look, you feel yourself let out a sigh of relief. 

“I’m going to take a look inside now, let me know if anything hurts,” The doctor begins inserting her fingers inside you with light. “Hmm,” The doctor hums, “I’m only seeing a tear in the muscle, other than that, everything looks normal. Was there enough foreplay?”

You nod your head, heat rushing to your cheeks as you recall last night's events, “Yes, there was.” You hear the doctor snap off their gloves, and wash their hands. You sit up, “Well, were they on the bigger side?”

You and Nanami exchange looks, both of you filled with embarrassment, “Uh, no, I don’t think so?” You stumble with your words. 

The doctor nods, drying their hands, “Well, everything looks normal. It can happen where the first intercourse can cause some tears in the muscle. It’s nothing serious, the bleeding should go away in a couple of days as it heals. If anything comes up, please come see us again right away.” 

You nod your head and the doctor leaves the room, leaving you and Nanami to burst into laughter. Nanami comes to stand between your legs, his hand cupping your cheek and pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

“Come on, let’s get you back to your dorm,” He says to you.

┅

Nanami dropped you off at your dorm, and before you got out of the car, Nanami embraced you in a hug, his nose nuzzled in the crook of your neck. You hugged him back, reassuring him that you two would hang out this week. Nanami had been clingy all morning, constantly touching you in some way, hand on your thigh, hand placed on your lower back, pulling you in for hugs. In small whispers, he continued to confess to you how much he didn’t want you to go back. The new side that had unraveled to you from Nanami made something burn inside of you. 

You pulled from the hug and rested your forehead against his, your fingers running down his scalp to his neck, “We will hang out this week, okay?” 

Nanami nodded his head, “Yes,” He breathed out, “can’t wait. I already miss you.”

“I already miss you too,” You gave him a hard kiss on his lips, and with that, you were stepping out of the car. You kept looking over your shoulder as you walked to your dorm building, giving him air kisses and waves. Nanami leaned over his steering wheel, giving you waves back and he reminded you of a teddy bear when he blew kisses back to you as well. 

┅

On Monday, Nanami for what felt like the first time in his life did not want to go to work. He dragged himself out of bed, sat in bed for a couple of minutes contemplating if he should sleep in for a little bit, and stayed in the shower longer than usual. Nanami was enwrapped in bliss; his body still burning with the way you made love to him like you had known his body for multiple lifetimes. He kept reminiscing on your pleasurable facial expressions, your gentleness yet playful roughness. The way your skin smelled, tasted, and felt against his. He found himself quite sad that you weren’t in bed with him and taking you back to your dorm was the hardest thing he found himself having to do. 

When Nanami arrived at work, he was immediately called in by his boss to have a meeting with him. During this meeting, the boss explained to Nanami how he needed to be flown out on a business trip for the weekend. Nanami felt himself become dreadful at this because all he hoped for was that he could spend this weekend with you again. Nanami slumped in his chair with a heavy sigh, getting himself prepared for the notes he needed for the business trip this week. 

As Nanami was working, he received a text from you;

Y/N: Hey, so my friend invited me to go clubbing with them this week! Did you wanna come along babe?

Nanami wanted to cry right then and there, out of all the times he had to go on a business trip, it just had to be this weekend. Nanami messaged you back, explaining his situation. He knew you would understand, he just hated that he couldn’t be there with you. 

┅

Despite feeling sad about Nanami not being able to come with you to the club, you still invited Nanami to help you choose which dress to wear for the club. You had invited Nanami over to your dorm while your roommate was out. Nanami stood out in the dorm interior, sitting against your bed on the floor with his elbows resting on his bent knees. He had his sleeves up to his elbows as always, tie loosened as you rummaged through your closet, displaying the dresses you had in mind onto your bed. You held a dress up to your body, turning around so Nanami could see it. 

“This one is cute, I’m just afraid that when I’m dancing, I’ll flash someone with it.”

Nanami smiles, cocking his head to the side, “Well, let’s see it on.”

You let out a playful scoff, “I think you just want to see me get undressed, is that it?”

Nanami’s face became red, he scratched the back of his head and looked down at his lap, “I won’t look.”

“You can look,” You tell him, not wasting time by taking off your shirt and shorts, followed by shimming into the dress. 

Nanami asks you, “Are you disappointed that I can’t come?”

You slip on the strap of the dress over your shoulder, “No!” You exclaim, making your way over to him, “Baby, I understand it’s because of work.”

Nanami clasps his fingers together, still looking down at his lap, “I know, but still…”

You kneel and lift his chin with your finger, his brown eyes meeting with yours, “We’ve got all the time in the world to go clubbing.”

Nanami’s thin lips pull into a smile, his eyes sparkling, “You always know how to reassure me.”

You giggle and stand up, giving him a twirl, “Well?”

Nanami eyes you, “You look stunning, my love.”

You do a couple of dance moves, making Nanami laugh, “See?” You point out the way the bottom of your dress rides up your thigh, “I’m gonna flash someone.”

“Still, you look gorgeous,” Nanami says in a deep voice, he extends his arm out to you, “c’mere,” he tells you. 

You walk over to him, and his other hand goes to your ass, pushing you in. The movement takes you by surprise, letting out a small yelp. Your crotch is at eye level with his, and his hands are placed on your hips, squeezing them. He looks up at you and says, “What if I make it up to you since I can’t come?”

His hands are teasing you, squeezing your hips and moving down to your thighs, his fingertips brushing small patterns on them. Your hand instinctively goes to the top of his hair, gripping it, “H-how so, Nanami?” You rasp. 

Nanami kisses right above your knee, moving up by trailing his tongue up your thigh, your breath hitching in your mouth. “By making you feel good,” Nanami says against your skin. 

You nod your head, “Yes…I’d love that, Kento.”

Nanami hums against your skin, giving your thigh open-mouthed kisses, his teeth slightly nibbling at your skin. His hands push the hem of your dress up to your stomach so you’re exposed to him. He presses his thumb flat against your clothed pussy, while his mouth continues to work at nibbling and sucking on the inner part of your thighs. You hiss at the impact, already feeling the way you’re pooling for him between your legs. 

Nanami finishes the kiss with a ‘pop’, the section where he was sucking having a slight red mark on there already. Nanami’s mouth moves between your legs, removing his thumb and replacing it with his tongue. He slides his tongue up to the hem of your underwear and takes it between his teeth, pulling it down until it’s down to your thighs, taking the rest off with his hands. Your bare pussy displayed before him, Nanami rubs his large hands up and down your thighs, looking up at you as you run your fingers through his blonde hair. 

“You look so beautiful…sit on my face,” His tone is intense. 

Your eyes widen, “A-are you sure?” 

He nods his head, using his hands to push him further towards his face, your bare pussy bumping his chin. He gives your plush ass smack so hard that your pussy comes in contact with his mouth. He doesn’t waste time, he latches his lips to your clit, using his tongue to spread your folds. The back of his head is leaned against the edge of your bed, your pussy mounted to his face, using his lips to create suction against your clit. 

“Oh, Nanami,” Your voice shakes from the pleasure, using your fingers to leverage yourself onto his hair. 

He pauses at eating you out, looking up at you with hooded eyelids, “Be a good girl and stay still for me,” He says against your pussy, his voice causing vibrations against your body. You comply with Nanami's request and hold your balance as Nanami moves his mouth down to your entrance, sticking his tongue inside you. Your mouth falls agape at the sensation, Nanami continuing to work at your pussy, tongue swirling against your clit and two fingers inside you. You hear how wet you sound, and the way Nanami lavishes in eating you. You arch your back, throwing your head back at the pleasure tension building up in your lower stomach. 

Before you know it, your body is shaking, reaching your high in bliss. Once you come down from your high, you lift your weight off of Nanami’s face, his mouth and chin glistening with your arousal. Nanami presses a gentle kiss to the inside of your thigh, rubbing your hips. 

“That was perfect,” You tell him breathlessly, your legs feeling like jelly. Nanami helps you get down and sit in his lap where your legs are on either side of him, his arms embracing you in his hold. You lean your weight against his chest, embracing his scent and how strong he feels. Nanami rubs your back, the other hand in your hair. 

“Did that tire you out?” Nanami asks.

You laugh softly, pulling back and kissing him, tasting yourself on his lips, “Just a little.”  

“I think you should go with this dress,” Nanami tells you, “you look so beautiful in it.”

“Even if I flash someone by accident?” You tease.

Nanami chuckles deeply, “Yes.”

┅

Gojo had plans for Friday, his co-workers had invited him to go out and get some drinks. Gojo had hoped Nanami would come along, but he had already left for the short business trip that had been assigned to him. So, with nothing on his agenda, Gojo decided to tag along. He got dressed for the club and met with his coworkers at a cafe that was located by the office building. All of them headed for the club, his co-workers absorbed in laughter and loud chatter. Gojo effortlessly joined in with the conversation, by the time he got to the club, it seemed that his co-workers were already tipsy (since his co-workers had pre-gamed before arriving at the club). Gojo found himself sitting at one of the couches, a drink in his hand (which was just a virgin drink), conversing with some people around him who he knew wouldn’t remember speaking to the eye-catching platinum blonde gentlemen. 

Gojo found himself becoming bored; by trying to make sense of the drunken state of his coworkers and the random strangers he was seated by. Gojo left his stance and wandered around the club, trying to see if there was anything he could be amused by. Gojo went up the stairs to the second floor, the music blaring against his ears, pounding with his heartbeat. He had ditched his virgin drink back on the first floor. Gojo received some bumps from drunken state people as he made his way to the second floor, where there was another dance floor located. Instantly, Gojo noticed the formed crowd on the dance floor. Despite the loud music, Gojo could hear the overlapping confused tones coming from the crowd. 

Gojo’s curiosity carried his footsteps towards the crowd, making his way through the people, inserting himself between them to get to the source of everyone’s attention. When Gojo finally made his way to the center, there was a girl in the middle, on her fours, looking distraught. Her hair was over her face so Gojo couldn’t make out to see who it was. The girl pushed her hair back and Gojo had to take a step closer to get a better look. Through the strobing lights, Gojo couldn’t help but feel they have seen this girl before. When the girl looked up, it was then that Gojo realized who it was; Nanami’s girlfriend. 

Gojo stepped in to help you, helping you with his hands going underneath your armpits and pulling you up to your feet. You couldn’t hold your weight, your legs shaking, and Gojo caught you in his arms. You looked like you didn’t even realize that someone was helping you out. 

“Y/N?” Gojo said to you, but you only gave him a hollow look, slowly blinking. Gojo knew he needed to get you out of this crowded place, so he helped you walk, telling the people around him to get out of his way. Gojo helped you down the stairs, which resulted in you tripping a couple of times, the heels that you were wearing making the whole process more difficult. Gojo couldn’t smell any alcohol on you, but you seemed like you were intoxicated. Gojo takes you outside, over to where his car was parked. 

When the two of you get to his car, you heave over and you're projecting vomit over Gojo’s shoes. Gojo holds back your hair, not caring that you got his shoes dirty. Gojo uses his shirt to wipe your mouth, lifting it and bringing it to your lips. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” Gojo asks you, hands on your shoulders to try and get your attention. Your eyes meet his, and Gojo sees in your expression you seem more awake now. 

“Oh…” You say, “Gojo, I didn’t even realize it was you.”

“Are you okay?” Gojo asks, the smell of your vomit prominent but it didn’t even bother him. His eyes scanned you, the strap of your dress had fallen down your shoulder and the hem of your dress had risen, a peek of your underwear displayed. Gojo quickly averted his eyes, “What happened? Did you drink too much?”

“I’m sorry,” You say, completely ignoring his inquiries, “your shoes…” you look down at his shoes in defeat, “I’ll get you new ones.”

“Forget my shoes,” Gojo says, “did you have too many to drink?”

“No,” You shake your head, “I don’t drink…all of a sudden, I felt very sick and dizzy.”

“Did someone offer you a drink?” Gojo continues. 

There’s a distant and lost look on your face, “I…I can’t remember,” You say slowly, “I just feel really tired, but my roommate…” you look back towards the club building. 

“Where is she?” 

“I have no idea,” You let out a heavy sigh, “oh gosh,” your hands go over your face, “I feel so embarrassed right now.”

“Let’s get you back to your dorm, I’m going to call Nanami…”

“No!” Your alarm, “Please don’t bother him, he’ll be worried. I’ll tell him when he gets back, but not when he’s so far away right now!” 

Gojo looks at you again, for some reason, something in his gut tells him something happened to you back there. He prays that nothing did, you probably had a bit of alcohol and it had a weird reaction to your stomach — despite you denying that you don’t drink.

“Do you want me to drive you back to your place?” 

“I don’t even know where my dorm keys are,” Tears well up in your eyes, “my roommate probably has them and I have no idea where she is. She was holding onto my purse which also had my phone in it.”

Oh shit, Gojo’s mind is racing, how the hell did it happen that he’s in such a situation with Nanami’s girlfriend? Gojo didn’t have keys to Nanami’s place, because if he did, he’d just let you stay there for the night. 

“I think we should call Nanami,” Gojo says, “do you have family nearby here?” He knew it was stupid to ask but he wasn’t going to let you by yourself here.

You burst into tears, making Gojo flinch from the sudden reaction. You cry into your hands, shoulders shaking, heaving. Gojo stands there awkwardly for a moment, he’s not sure what to do. His hands come up, wanting to comfort you, but you’re Nanami’s girlfriend. It’d be weird to touch you to comfort you. 

He lets his arms drop to his side, “Okay,” Gojo’s tone is calm, “for now, let’s take you back to my place until we figure something out. Would you…be comfortable with that?”

You sniffle, looking up at him, your mascara and eyeshadow smudged at the corner of your eyes. “I’m sorry for all of this,” You choke out, “this is my first time going to a club.”

For some reason, Gojo can’t help but find you so cute but also be deeply concerned for you. He takes out his car keys from his pocket, “Okay, let’s go to my place for now,” He guides you to his car, and helps you get in as you still seem a bit fatigued. When Gojo closes the door, he looks down at his shoes, covered in your bodily fluids. He kicks the shoes off and abandons them in the club parking lot. He hops into the driver's seat and sets the keys into the ignition. 

The car drive to Gojo’s apartment is quiet, he looks at you from the corner of his eyes from time to time and your head is leaned back, eyes closed. He thinks at first you had fallen asleep but when he parks his car, you open your eyes and lean up. You unbuckle yourself and the two of you head toward his apartment building. 

When you two get into the elevator, you ask, “Where did your shoes go?”

Gojo shrugs his shoulders, smiling at you, “I didn’t need them anymore.”

You follow Gojo as he leads you two through the hallway and to his apartment room. He opens the door and lets you in first, stepping inside and being greeted with the living room. The living room has a staircase that goes up to the second floor of the penthouse. There’s some random stuff scattered on Gojo’s coffee table which doesn't fully register for you. Gojo offers for you to take a seat on the couch and you do so, sitting on the edge with your hands in your lap as you hear Gojo rummage in his kitchen.

“Would you like anything to eat? Or drink?” He offers it to you from the refrigerator and you shake your head. Gojo comes over to you with a glass filled with water despite your decline, “Your knee,” He says. 

You look up at him, he sets the glass back onto the coffee table and kneels, taking a closer look at your knee. You follow his gaze and that’s when you realize it for the first time tonight, there’s a cut on your knee. 

Gojo looks up at you, “Are you sure you haven’t had any drinks tonight?”

“No,” You tell him, “as I told you, I don’t drink, Gojo.” 

He nods his head, pursing his lips and looking to the side, “I know this is weird, you being here and all…” 

“No, no, thank you for letting me stay here until we figure something out,” You interject, “maybe I can text my roommate from your phone?”

“Sure,” Gojo takes out his phone from his back pocket, unlocks it, and gives it to you, “in the meantime, I’ll go grab my first aid kit.” He stands up to leave and you give your roommate a text, asking her where she is. You knew calling her would be useless as she was most likely still at the club and wouldn’t even hear it. 

After sending the text, you put Gojo’s phone back on the coffee table and that’s when you fully process what’s on Gojo’s coffee table; scattered legos. There’s already something that’s being built, it looks like some sort of space shuttle. You find yourself smiling while picturing yourself Gojo sitting on the floor, tongue between his lips in concentration as he puts the pieces together. For some reason, that image fits him perfectly. 

“Okay,” Gojo comes back into the living room and sits on the floor on his knees, setting the first aid kit next to him. “Do you know how you hurt your knee?” Gojo asks as he starts to take out a plastic bottle that you know is peroxide. He tilts the bottle into a cotton pad a couple of times, and looks up at you, “This is going to hurt a little.” 

“Go ahead,” You tell him and he presses the cotton pad, making you flinch from the burning sensation. 

“Well,” Gojo wipes at your knee, “do you know?”

“Huh?”

Gojo pauses, “How did you hurt your knee?”

“Oh,” You look down at your knee, trying to recall how it happened but for some reason, the entire club scene is a blur in your head. It’s scattered, all over the place, in small fragments that make your headache feel worse. “I honestly can’t remember,” You finally conclude, “I wasn’t expecting my first time at a club to go so badly,” you let out a weak laugh. 

Gojo looks at you through his lashes, and he grabs a clean cotton pad, tilting that same bottle into it. “Just curious, but did anyone…” His voice trails off, inhaling sharply through his teeth, “did anyone offer you a drink?”

“No,” You answer, “I know how dangerous it is as a girl to accept drinks from anyone at a club.”

“Sorry,” Gojo looks embarrassed, and he silently continues to disinfect your wound. It’s strange, he seems more grounded than the other times you’ve encountered him. 

Your eyes trail to the clothed shoulder of his button, “How’s your scar?” 

Gojo sets the pad to the side and puts ointment on your knee, “It was just a scratch,” He looks up at you and flashes you one of his wide smiles, “all good now.” 

“I’m sorry again about throwing up on your shoes…” Your voice trails off awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Pssht!” Gojo waves his hand in the air, and rummages through the first aid kit for a band-aid big enough to cover your wound, “It’s not a big deal, I’ve got plenty of shoes.” 

“Still…” Your eyes go down to your knee, still unable to recall how you got that scratch, “I’m sure I kind of smell like vomit and that’s gross.”

Gojo shrugs his shoulders, “Not really,” He finally finds one and rips it open, handing it to you, “here, did you want to do it?”

“Thanks,” You grab the bandage from him, and your guys’ fingers brush, making you somewhat flustered. You try to play it off like you didn’t notice the touch between the two of you and place the bandaid onto your wound. 

“We can still try calling Nanami,” Gojo scratches the back of his neck, “I think it’d be a good idea.”

You think for a moment, you know there’s nothing Nanami could do over the phone, so telling him right now felt like it wouldn’t do anyone any good. “I’ll tell him when he gets back,” You tell Gojo, “I promise.” 

The sincerity in your voice makes Gojo clamp his mouth shut about telling Nanami. Gojo can’t help that he’s crossing a line here; bringing one of his closest friend’s girlfriends over to his place at midnight while he’s out on a business trip. He feels guilty about it even though he knows nothing has happened or will happen with you two. 

Gojo closes the first aid kit and sits against the other couch with his knees bent, “You can stay here for the night.”

“No!” You perk up, feeling embarrassed for the way you raised your voice. You clear your throat, “No, it’s okay, I’m sure my roommate will text me soon…” 

“Okay, well, either way, you can sleep here for tonight,” Gojo says, he would offer for you to sleep in his bed but that was way too much. “Let me bring you a pillow and blanket,” He goes up the stairs and you sit there silently, waiting for him. For some odd reason, you feel lethargic. You had only been at the club for roughly an hour and it seemed like for part of it you had blacked out. You didn’t have any drinks, you were sure of it…

Gojo comes back into the living room, and he sees you leaning forward, observing his unfinished lego piece. Gojo places the pillow and blanket next to you, “I’ve been working on it for too long,” He speaks up, making you turn your head to look at him — or to be exact, you have to look up. There’s a boyish smile on his lips, it’s strange seeing him without his glasses on. He strides over to the other couch and takes a seat, his hands going to the scattered lego pieces. “Some nights I have the motivation to do it and many other times, I don’t,” Gojo comments. He even goes to sit on the floor, awkwardly having to shift around due to his lanky, long legs until he has them crossed underneath the table. 

You pick up a lego piece and take a look at the manual where he has it. Without looking at you, he moves it so that you can get a better look as well. You say softly, “Thank you again…” 

Gojo puts some pieces together, his brow furrowed in concentration, “Y/N,” Hearing your name from his lips makes you perk up naturally. His eyes go to yours, holding your gaze, “There’s no more need to thank me,” he flashes you a smile, “you’re welcome.”

You quickly look away, letting your hair fall over your face, not understanding why your stomach is fluttering. You clear your throat, “Anyways, I’m really glad Nanami has such a good friend like you.”

“And I’m glad Nanami found someone who makes him happy as you do.” Both of you look at each other for a couple of silent moments and Gojo continues, “I’ve never seen him this way until you two have been together.”

“How so?”

Gojo thinks for a moment, “Hmm, happier. Or more like, he’s just excited in general. Excited to get through his day.” 

You look down at the lego pieces on the coffee table, a smile and blush to form on your face. “I’m assuming you were weirded out when he first told you about us, I mean, because of our age difference.” You’re not quite sure why you’re saying the stuff to Gojo, but something about his aura, he seems so easy to talk to. 

Gojo chuckles, “Not for long,” He noted, “I guess when I first met you, I saw that it wasn’t as weird as it sounded.” 

“Well, I hope you find someone like that, too,” You give him a sheepish smile, feeling your cheeks burning for some reason. The sensation makes you feel guilty, it could be the way you’re feeling off that’s making you blush in the first place. Now that you think about it, was there a moment during the night when someone offered you a drink? 

“How about if we don’t hear from your friend in an hour, we call Nanami?” Gojo suggests.

You process his suggestion, perhaps calling Nanami and telling him what was going on would be better considering you were over at his friend’s place. You don’t want to betray Nanami’s trust, not after knowing how much of his trust he has placed in you. 

“Let’s call Nanami,” You say. 

┅

You and Gojo are seated next to one another on the couch with his phone set on the coffee table. The phone rings as you two wait for Nanami to pick up. He answers on the second ring, and just his voice alone sends for the warmth to spread between your legs to your lower abdomen.

“Gojo?” Nanami’s voice comes through the phone.

You speak up, “Nanami, it’s me.”

“Y/N?” Nanami sounds confused, “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you.”

You feel guilty and pang at you, “I know,” You say, “I’m using Gojo’s phone because my friend has my phone.”

“Are you okay?” Now Nanami is fully concerned, “Is Gojo with you?”

You and Gojo exchange looks and says in unison, “Yes,” The two of you quickly look away. 

“We bumped into one another at the club,” Gojo says, “she wasn’t…” 

You finish the thought for Gojo, “I wasn’t feeling well.” 

“Y/N, are you okay?” Nanami asks again, followed by a sigh; you can see him in your mind. You can see the deep furrow etched between his eyebrows with his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“I’m okay, I did throw up…but Gojo helped me and brought me to his apartment,” You explain to Nanami, a part of you is afraid that Gojo bringing you over to his place will cause tension between the two men. 

“You don’t have your dorm keys either?” Nanami asks.

You look down at your hands, “No, my friend has them as well…” 

“Can you let her stay over for the night?” Nanami directs the question at Gojo, making you surprised that’s Nanami’s response. 

“Yeah,” Gojo says, “when do you think you’ll be back?”

“Day after tomorrow,” Nanami tells him, “Y/N, please keep me updated. I’m so glad you’re okay.”

You swoon at Nanami’s capability of always being able to care for you. “I will, I miss you and I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“No need to apologize, just wish I was there,” Nanami reassures you, “I want you to get some rest, okay?”

You nod your head lightly, “I will, promise…I love you.”

Nanami returns in a heartbeat, “I love you, Y/N.” 

You feel heat forming on your cheeks, having to bite your bottom lip to stop the smile that overtakes you. You can't help but also feel embarrassed that Gojo is sitting beside you and Nanami’s love talk. Nanami promises you that he will call on Gojo’s phone so he can say good morning to you and that’s the end of the phone call. 

You rub your hands together awkwardly, “Um, thank you.”

Gojo stands up, stretching his arms over his head, “Hey, didn’t I say that there’s no need to thank me anymore?” 

You chuckle, “Yes.”

Gojo flicks his thumb over his shoulder, “If you want to take a shower, feel free to.” 

You look down at yourself; the bandage on your knee, and you notice for the first time what seems to be a drink stain on your dress. You probably look like a mess right now, too. You can’t help but think, is this normal? Is it normal or even right to be showering at your boyfriend’s best friend’s house? 

You realize Gojo is waiting for you to answer, “Sure,��� You tell him, “if it’s okay with you.”

“Um…” Gojo scratches the back of his neck, and you two don’t need to say it out loud; you don’t have a spare pair of clothes with you. The only option is… 

You put your hands up, “It’s okay! I can just sleep in this dress!” You let out a nervous laugh, “It’s just for one night, anyways.” 

Gojo taps his chin, “I think I might have one of Nanami’s shirts somewhere in my closet…” 

“Oh,” You perk up, “that would work!” 

┅

You stand outside of Gojo’s bedroom as he rummages through his closet for the shirt that he mentioned. From the open door, you can see the back of Gojo and his long arms looking through the clothes, pushing them further down by the hangers. You hug yourself with your arms, the thought that you were at the club an hour ago does not even seem real anymore. So much has happened in one night. 

Gojo appears at his bedroom door, “I just realized that it’s in the hamper,” Despite a smile on his lips, you can tell that he’s trying to hide his nervousness behind it. 

“It’s okay,” You say, “I’ll be fine, seriously.” 

Gojo goes into his room and comes out with a pair of clothes in his hand, “If you change your mind, you can just use these,” You take the clothes from him; one of his shirts and sweatpants. Does this count as cheating? 

“I know it’s weird,” Gojo comments, looking to the side, “but I’ll explain it to Nanami. He’s understanding.” 

“Yes,” You confirm, “he is very understanding. Uh, thanks…” 

Gojo snaps his fingers, “Right, let me show you where the bathroom is!” He walks down the hallway and you follow behind him. He gives you a towel as well and shows you how the water is turned on in the shower, too. 

“I’ll be downstairs if you need something,” Gojo is at the door, his head peeking through the crack, “and don’t worry about it, you’re welcome,” He flashes you a pretty smile and then closes the door. You lock the door and begin getting undressed, setting the dress on the bathroom counter. You slip off your underwear as well and turn on the water, giving it a moment to get warmed up. Before you step in, you rip off the bandage and finally step in, closing the shower glass door behind you. 

The warm water makes your shoulders relax, and your hair falls over your face. It’s then that you realize that you also have to use Gojo’s shower condiments. You angle your face upwards with a sigh falling from your lips; could this possibly get any weirder? 

You use Gojo’s shampoo which smells like mint and his body wash, lathering your body with it and taking your time. The shampoo going over the injury on your knee stings, making you flinch as you let the water wash over it. Once you’re done, you dry yourself and get dressed. Before you can put on the sweatpants though, there’s still blood running down your leg from the wound. You grab toilet paper and press against it. 

“Shit,” You say under your breath, the toilet paper did not seem to be enough to stop the bleeding. How badly did you hurt yourself? You begin to panic, even resorting to looking through Gojo’s cabinets to see if there are any band-aids anymore but no such luck. 

You crack open the door and yell out, “Hey Gojo?” 

It doesn’t take long for Gojo to appear, and he’s also changed; a shirt along with gray sweatpants. He has a bowl in his hand and is munching on something, “What’s up?” He asks and stops when he sees you in just his shirt and underwear. Thankful, the shirt is big enough that it stops right above your knees. 

Gojo chokes a bit but plays it off by stifling a cough, “Oh, shit,” His eyes go down to where you hold blood-stained toilet papers to your knee, “the first aid kit is downstairs, I’ll be right back!” He goes downstairs and you close the door, leaning against the wall. You close your eyes, sort of slumped over as your hand continues to hold down the toilet paper. 

You hear Gojo’s voice through the door, “I’ve got it!” 

“Thank you,” You open the door and it hits your forehead, making you almost fall back. “Ow!” You exclaim, and Gojo walks in, alarmed by the sound. 

“Are you okay?” Gojo frets, the action of him opening the door making you fall right onto your butt. “Oh, shit,” Gojo rushes down to you, his hands instinctively helping you sit up. You’re flooded with embarrassment, silent tears falling down your cheeks. You bring up your hand to your face, trying to play it off, but the tone of your voice says otherwise.

“I’m sorry,” Your voice cracks, “I’m usually not this klutzy, I promise.” 

“Is your head okay?” Gojo asks. 

“Yes, I’m fine,” You’re lying, your head is pounding. 

This time, Gojo apologizes, “Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” You sniffle, and then add quietly, “I don’t know why I’ve been such a mess tonight.” 

Gojo already has a cotton pad pressed to your knee, “That’s what missing someone does to you,” He looks at you with a teasing smirk plastered on his lips, making you laugh in return. Gojo tells you to hold down onto the cotton pad as he takes out the supplies for your wound. This time, you let him do it for you, he works in silence; applying the ointment and then putting the band-aid over. You have your head leaned against the bathroom drawer, and the bathroom light reflecting against Gojo’s white hair makes you picture your hands running through them. You get a closer look at his eyelashes; it amuses you how even the hairs on them are white just like his hair. 

Gojo gives your knee a small pat, “All done!” He beams at his work and stands up, his two hands extended out to you. You take his hands and he helps you get back on your feet. Gojo sets the first aid kit into one of the cabinets in the bathroom drawers and throws out the scraps of the bandages that were used. 

You head downstairs after finishing up in the bathroom, and in no time, you’re underneath the blanket on the couch, hands underneath the pillow. Gojo turns off the lights for you and one last time asks you if you need anything. You tell him you’re all good and in no time, you’re asleep. Gojo sits in his room on the edge of his bed, going over in his head the events of the night the two of you just experienced. Despite Nanami’s request to have you sleep over at his place, he can’t help but feel that this event will bring up some sort of pressure between the three of you. He worries that he might be messing up his friendship with Nanami. Gojo has trouble sleeping for the rest of the night, he gets up later in the night to check up on you. He makes sure your chest goes up and down, seeing you wearing his clothes makes strange feelings prick at him. Gojo eventually decides the best thing to do for now is to sleep it off. 

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

I posted 1,941 times in 2022

1,755 posts created (90%)

186 posts reblogged (10%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ghostofbambifanfiction

@bcdaily

@itsdeanpool

@librarian-witchling

@ghost-of-bambi

I tagged 699 of my posts in 2022

#sarah's choose your own adventure fanfic - 400 posts

#sarah talks stranger things - 63 posts

#stranger things - 43 posts

#jily - 29 posts

#ebtks - 29 posts

#lily evans - 28 posts

#james potter - 28 posts

#sarah reads midnight sun - 23 posts

#fanfiction - 22 posts

#deep blue sea - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 96 characters

#fyi the firm that manage the royal family have a mutually beneficial relationship with the media

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

What is the actual POINT of Jonathan though? WHAT IS THE POINT? What did he DO besides occasionally drive and do the BARE MINIMUM that is required of him to be a decent sibling (and EVEN THEN Will had to point out that he's basically been checked out and stoned for months) and lie to his girlfriend continuously and DISRESPECT STEVE????? Go AWAY!!!!!!!

164 notes - Posted July 3, 2022

#4

I’m imagining James messaging roomba’s instagram account and using unkind regards 😂

dear roomba ceo

your product may clean floors but it ANNHILIATES family dynamics. how do you sleep at night. how DO you?

unkind regards, JAMES POTTER

221 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

#3

I agree

1,100 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

#2

What are your parenting golden rules?

I have five in particular.

1) Never be aggressive. And I don't just mean "aggressive" as in violent, I mean aggressive in any way, and that includes shouting. I do not shout, not just at my stepson but at anyone. Ever. We live in a "no yelling" household and that rule applies to everyone. If I ever find myself so angry that it's not possible for me to have a reasonable discussion, I will leave the room and calm down before I proceed.

2) Never discipline a child for something you wouldn't punish yourself for. Why do so many parents punish their kids for shit like accidentally breaking something, or spilling a drink on themselves? Human mistakes are human mistakes.

3) Whenever I cook something for Nathan that he's never tried before, I make a point of telling him that I would like for him to try it, but that if he doesn't like it, he can tell me and I'll make him something else. As a result he has tried and liked all sorts of new things without fear of getting in trouble. I also let him eat until he feels like he's eaten enough, not until he clears his plate. Food abuse is endemic, it isn't talked about enough and a lot of parents aren't even aware that they're guilty of it because they're just doing what their own parents did to them. I want him to have a positive and healthy relationship with food as an adult, and that starts with his parents and how we behave.

4) Nathan knows that if I say or do anything that hurts his feelings, he can call me out and I will think about my behaviour and apologise.

5) If I ask him for a hug and he says no, I accept the no.

1,743 notes - Posted March 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

"Otherwise, who'd have been in charge? Steve?" chuckled Jonathan from atop his moral high horse, as if Steve hasn't been gainfully employed, supporting his friends, cheerleading his lesbian bestie, putting his life and body on the line to protect his gang of ragtag kids, fighting tooth-and-nail next to Jonathan's neglected girlfriend to save the town, ripping monster bats apart with his bare hands and throwing molotov cocktails in the face of a literal hell demon while Jonathan was... *checks notes* whacking golf balls at cars.

3,641 notes - Posted July 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[brightlikewukong-archive]

( ✉ → sms ) even when i’m durnk ic ant sotp thinking about oyu // ( ✉ → sms ) oh fu cck thtatt ws to npeutne

[text]: dont worry[text]: relayed the message for you[text]: i know our names look v similar[text]: sun[text]: neptune[text]: its like our parents were on the same wavelength or something

[timextoxhajima]

hi dana.. if it’s possible can i request some angsty wangsty based on niki la la lost you with eric🥺 and ughh i really love your writing like crazyyyyy

♥ title: la la lost you in april [also part of @sunlightwoo ‘s 12 Months I Loved You collaboration project]

♥ member: tbz eric

♥ genre: f2l, ex! eric x fem! reader, model! eric [SFW!]

♥ warnings: swearing, some mentions of sex [like, once i think]

♥ wc: 3.4k

♥ a/n: sis when i first heard the song I absolutely loved how you used 'angsty wangsty' so I hope this one does it for you the way you imagined it <3 [fyi i wrote it in like, a camcorder recording audio format which is something i’m trying out so please hmu on whether it’s difficult to read/understand!]

[REC: APRIL 2, 2019 - 6:39PM] SOLO LOG #1

Are you seeing this? This is the most beautiful sunset I’ve seen. I gotta get a shot of this-

Hey! Hey! I could help you take a picture with the sunset if you want to!

Oh! Would- Would you? That’d be great!

Of course! 

...

Here. Is it alright?

Yeah, yeah, it’s cool! Thank you so much!

Are you recording something? Is it a- Are you vlogging? Are you a vlogger?

Yeah, no... I’m actually on a solo trip for a bit.

Oh, where are you from?

Just the next state. 

Ah! You’re taking a break off... life then? I assume? Sorry if that came out weird.

No! No no! It’s alright! Yeah, I just needed a short break from... y’know, school and everything. My semester ended pretty early on so I took the chance to come out here and... see some new sights, meet some new people.

I get that. Well, for a start, what’s your name?

Oh, I’m y/n. Nice to meet you! And you?

I’m Eric. 

[REC: APRIL 4, 2019 - 10:34PM] SOLO LOG #2

It is the 4th of April, 2019. I know, I know, I’m meant to do a daily vlog for all the 50 days I’m here but... it’s been... wow. Um... so I met Eric, the first day I touched down. The beach is just, about a 10 minute walk down and the sunsets are absolutely gorgeous. But uh... call me a fool and say that I’m living in the clouds but- what are the chances?

He’s funny, he’s such a great person to be around with y’know? Never a moment of like, awkwardness or stress and my God, look at me talking about a boy like that, though I met him 2 days ago. 

...

Um, he’s a freelance model. For those freelance shoots by UNIQLO or Target or something and he complains about the pay sometimes, but he looks good infront of a camera, so he’s... actually the one who won at life, really.

I’m not seeing him soon because he’s got a shoot out of town and he’ll be back next week. But I did get his number and he’s been texting me since. 

...

Wouldn’t it be funny if we end up together and then I have this whackass of a reel to show him? Jesus... I need to stop getting ahead of myself here. Freakin’ living in the clouds, aren’t I?

...

Anyway, I’m gonna go and see if I can get my weird projector shit up and working. See you.

[REC: APRIL 7, 2019 - 5:14AM] SOLO LOG #3

It is... 5am... uh, April 7th- and I was just binging FRIENDS through the night, waiting for the sunrise before I get some shut eye and then... Eric just asked me out. Oh my God! Um, he’s coming back this Thursday and I’ll go see him at the airport before we go get dinner.

It was really funny ‘cause he had to wake up early for a shoot today and so his day has just begun but mine’s coming to an end and I just- I’m rambling so much, it’s kinda- it’s kinda sad, isn’t it?

I think I’m too happy to sleep right now so I’m just gonna text him some more before the sun rises- oh! He replied!

...

Anyway, I’m gonna go and finish up this last episode before sleeping. Hopeful I can sleep. Bye!

[REC: APRIL 11, 2019 - 4:28PM] SOLO LOG #4

I am on my way out right now to go meet Eric at the airport, and I’m... it’d be an understatement to say that I’m excited. I know I’ve only known him for like, 2 days before he left but... I miss him. Is that possible? Missing someone despite knowing them for 2 days?

Anyway, I gotta go. Don’t wanna be late to see him.

[REC: APRIL 13, 2019 - 10:23AM] SOLO LOG #5

Oh! Is that what you had-

Yeah! It’s the same camera!

What are you vlogging for, actually? Like-

Nothing, really. It’s just for my own usage-

Wait, you didn’t like set that up last night while we-

Oh, God, no! Who do you think I am?

I don’t know, I mean, we’ve known each other for... is it two weeks-

Just under two weeks-

Jeez-

I know, I know, oh my God.

...

I don’t regret it though. Yeah, like- I don’t really go down to the beach that often in the first place and it just- it just so happened that you were there that day and I saw you struggling with this old thing-

I was not struggling!

Yeah you were!

I wasn’t-

I’m kidding! Gosh, you’re so cute.

...

Are you gonna have the camera recording while this carries on?

I forgot it was on-

One day we’re gonna accidentally make a sex tape-

Eric!

[REC: APRIL 17, 2019 - 1:15AM] SOLO LOG #6

-ould you pass me the hot water?

Mm? What?

The kettle over on the counter. Careful, it’s hot. Yeah, thanks.

Do you need help with-

It’s just instant noodles, sweet. Doubt I need a diploma for this. You’re recording again?

Yeah, does it bother you?

No, no, ‘course not. Though that means I can’t really do whatever I want to now.

What does that mea-

...

I can... still taste that bit of milk tea you had just now-

Could you tell it’s zero sugar?

I don’t think that matters, it’s still sweet and not great for your health to have that so much.

Aw, and yet you’re the one who suggested noodles at this timing, yeah?

You were hungry too!

...

Here, it’s done. Help me get the bowls? 

Did you even wash these?

Yeah, I did. If you don’t trust me, you can run them under the water for a bit.

Mhm. Here.

If it’s not enough, we can call for Macs.

Y’know, I’ve never had Macs past midnight back at home.

What? Really? Well, when you get back in May, would you try?

Yeah, why not? Maybe I’ll do that when I’m back in school. 

...

What date is it today?

April... hold on, um, 17. Careful, that’s hot.

...

When are you leaving again?

May 22. 

Are you planning on coming back anytime soon after?

I don’t know. I have school to worry about and the only other time I can come back’s probably during winter break in November.

...

I won’t be around in November.

Mm? Why not?

I’m moving.

To where?

I’m not sure yet, but I need to move depending on whether I get it and where the shoot’s at.

Shoot? It’s a big project, huh?

Yeah, it’s- it’s a pretty big deal.

...

I’ll- Let me just go and...

[REC: APRIL 20, 2019 - 7:49PM] SOLO LOG #7

-idn’t have to!

No, c’mon! It’s such a great time to get this on camera! Come on, tell us what just happened!

Well, I just scored a huge model contract with Calvin Klein - in Manhattan.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I’m so fucking proud of you, oh my God! Can you believe it-

No, fuck off, I can’t either! 

Oh! Calvin Klein!

...

I swear, you’re an angel sent to me-

Fuck off!

I’m serious! it’s so timely- I just can’t- I’m just so happy to have met you.

...

Well, you heard it first here, ladies and gentlemen. Eric Sohn is a new model for Calvin Klein - Manhattan.

[REC: APRIL 21, 2019 - 12:40PM] SOLO LOG #8

It is 12.40pm... April 21st, 2019. I’m finally back in my apartment after crashing at Eric’s for the last... 10 days? I think it was 10 days. My clothes were running out and I didn’t want to hike up his water bills so I just came back and- y’know did my own laundry.

...

Well, it’s- it’s been an absolute dream. The last thing I expected to... have, or meet? Here, is Eric. Um, but I know I’m probably going to regret this. Especially when May 22 comes. Uh... this is... it’s real bad. I mean, we’re great, y’know? But... it’s bad, because I know it’ll hurt. Like a bitch. When my time here is up, and I gotta go back to my reality, and Eric’s gotta stick to his. 

We haven’t really talked about it. May. I don’t think he wants to, and I don’t think I want to either. 50 days is too short. Either that, or I shouldn’t have come here in the first place. I shouldn’t have gone to the beach that day, in that hour. 

...

I just wish we had more time. I wish 24 hours were... maybe about 100 seconds more per minute. Does that make sense? 160 seconds per minute. Then again, I don’t think that’d solve my problem. I’ll still be on a ticking... time bomb. 

...

I know I shouldn’t say this. I know I can’t. I know I can’t afford to. But... I... I love him. I love Eric. With every... bit of me. It’s so... disgustingly cliché, but I feel so... comfortable with him. There’s really nothing we’d fight about, and even if we disagreed on something, we’d play it off like a debate, then forget about it the next day.

...

I love him. I do. And I’m going to regret this later. Without a doubt.

...

[REC: APRIL 27, 2019 - 2:02AM] SOLO LOG #9

-ou can see the stars?

I don’t know, that’s why I’m trying, sweet.

...

Can you see them?

Yeah, maybe if I just turn this ISO- Oh! I can kinda see the North Star-

Oh! Yeah, you can! It’s really feint though.

Right.

It’s okay, we can just lay it down here-

On the grass? Will your camera be fine?

Yeah, yeah, or else you can just put in on top of my bag- here.

...

Here, can you see me? Am I in frame?

Yeah, you’re in frame.

Okay, great. Now get over here!

...

I can taste the smoothie you had just now.

Too sweet?

A little.

...

Oh my God! Put me down! Oh- not there! It’s ticklish- AHHHHH!

...

y/n, I have something to tell you.

Mm? What is it?

...

Hello? Earth to Eric?

I... I love you. So much... and I can’t bear to see you go in May. 

Oh, Eric...

No, I- I don’t want you to stay- or even think about it, ‘cause, you have your priorities and I have mine y’know...

Mhm.

I just... I just wished we had more time. 

I do too. I really do.

...

Eric?

Hm?

I love you too.

...

...

...

[REC: MAY 1, 2019 - 4:23AM] SOLO LOG #10

1st May. 4...30? Am? I believe. Um, Eric’s sound asleep in his bed and I couldn’t sleep so I decided to do a log. 

...

I have... 3 weeks left. 4 weeks have gone past just like that, and I don’t know what to think about it. I came for a 50-day retreat. No stress, just myself and peace and quiet and tranquility and yet-

...

I- I don’t know if I can do this.

...

[REC: MAY 7, 2019 - 3:58PM] SOLO LOG #11

So, Eric’s in shoot right now and I’m on the way into the studio with some donuts and coffee to surprise him. I called his manager and asked if it was okay so- I’m pretty psyched to see his workspace. 

...

Hi, I’m y/n, I’m here to visit Eric?

Ah, okay! Hold on, let me just get you signed in with the pass-

Count me in!

You sure? This Saturday at the prep-party?

Yeah- Oh! 

Eric!

y/n! What are you doing here?

I wanted to surprise you. Am I... interrupting anything?

Oh, not at all!

You must be y/n! Eric’s told me so much about you!

Did he? And you are...?

I’m Chelsea! I’ve been attached to the same Calvin Klein contract he recently got, so you could say we’re colleagues!

Well, nice to meet you! Oh, right, these donuts and coffee are meant for you guys actually!

Oh! You’re too kind! Eric, you’re such a lucky man.

I know, she’s just... everything.

Anyway, thank you so much for these. I’ll bring them back down to the studio for the crew to share. But Eric’s pretty much done for the day actually, so you guys can leave if you want to!

Are you sure? Don’t you need help downstairs with the equipment?

No, no! It’s fine, there’re more than enough people downstairs. Go have your date, and maybe you can bring her along with you for the prep-party this weekend!

What’s the prep-party... preparing for?

Oh, you’re so adorable! It’s a prep-party for the end-of-May shoot we’re gonna have. it’s a collab with DAZED so it’s a pretty big project.

You never told me you were involved in a collab with DAZED.

I was gonna tell you today.

He has been pretty busy recently, maybe slipped his mind. Anyway, thank you so much for the donuts and I’ll hope to see you at the pier this Saturday, mm?

Yeah, sure. Thanks Chels.

No problem! It was so nice to meet you, y/n, I’ll see you Saturday!

Okay, bye!

Bye, Chelsea! It was nice to meet you!

Bye!

...

Sweet, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?

I wanted it to be a surprise. I thought you said you’d end pretty late?

The filming was cut short because the shots were better than expected so we ended early.

Oh, I wanted to film you while you were at work.

You have that on?

Yeah- why?

No, just wondering. 

Are you uncomfortable?

No, no, it’s just... I really didn’t expect you to come to the studio. 

...

[REC: MAY 11, 2019 - 11:12PM] SOLO LOG #12

It’s 11:12pm, 11th May, 2019. 11 days to departure.

...

I... saw... Chelsea and Eric... um, out by the garage- 

...

Well, I guess... it looked like they were just... having a really good talk. Or something. 

...

I left. I couldn’t watch it. So, I left without telling Eric. I did tell his boss that I wasn’t feeling well and I had to leave first. 

...

I guess this is the part where I regret it, isn’t it? Um... I don’t know... how... I’m gonna explain this to him when I see him again. Which is supposed to be- um- the rest of the night. I was supposed to go back to his place with him and I’ll stay for the weekend before I come back to pack my things, so-

...

y/n, are you home?

...

shit.

y/n, I know you’re home. I heard you talking. Open the door, I need to talk to you.

...

[REC: MAY 12, 2019 - 2:00AM] SOLO LOG #13

...

I look like shit, don’t I? God, my eyes hurt like a bitch. 

...

I don’t think I need to say what just happened for you to guess what just happened, right? This... says it all. 

...

Fuck. 

...

I shouldn’t have come here. How did- How did my retreat turn out- turn out like this? 

...

This is- This is too much. Too much in too short... of a time. 

...

I don’t think... I don’t think I can do it. Not anymore. 

...

[REC: MAY 19, 2019 - 9:59AM] SOLO LOG #14

It’s May 19th, 2019, almost 10am. I just came back from a morning walk by the beach just to... reminisce a little before I leave on Wednesday. 

...

I... haven’t seen Eric since the prep-party. I blocked him and I told him not to come over, though I think he has, like, a few times. I thought I heard someone come up to my door, but he never knocked. 

...

So, this is how it ends, huh? A 50-day romance cut short like that. Into about, 40? 

...

It’s crazy to think that I had... the experience of a whole relationship in 40 days. I definitely did not sign up for that when I booked this 50-day retreat. 

...

It was fun while it lasted, though. It was. I don’t think I’d find anybody else like Eric, and I guess it just sucks that it had to end like that. Things happen, right? That aren’t... in our control. 

...

...

...

[REC: MAY 21, 2019 - 8:07PM] SOLO LOG #15

May 21st. About 8pm. I leave in about 15 hours. 

...

All my stuff’s packed. Definitely more things to bring home than I brought here. Half of these things were bought by Eric and given to me. I’m... actually not sure if I should bring them back. 

...

I don’t- I just don’t think I’d have the heart to throw them away.

...

Nor look at them when I’m home. 

...

Should I even bring this camera home? Maybe I should wipe your memory before I bring you home, hmm?

...

It feels like a dream, doesn’t it? Everything that’s happened. It feels like a fever dream. Maybe when I’m finally home, I’d wake up and it’d be the day I come here.

...

Maybe.

...

[REC: MAY 22, 2019 - 10:03AM] SOLO LOG #16

-ny more luggage?

Nope.

Alright then, I think you’re all set. You still have about an hour’s time before the gates are open so you can get a cup of coffee or something, yeah?

Okay, thank you!

Have a nice flight ma’am.

Thanks.

...

Good evening ma’am, can I check your boarding pass?

Yeah, sure.

...

Okay, you’re good to go. Have a safe flight.

Thank you!

...

[REC: MAY 22, 2019 - 11:34AM] SOLO LOG #17

It is about 11.30am and I’m on the flight, and here’s the view outside. Sky’s pretty clear and this thing says that the weather’s great so, it should be a smooth flight without turbulence.

...

This is it. This is really it. 

...

...

...

Um-

Hi, ma’am, I’m gonna need you to keep your camcorder.

Oh! Yeah, sure, sure, sorry!

[REC: APRIL 2, 2020 - 12:48AM] ERIC LOG #1

Wow, this is... weird. How did you do this last year?

...

Um, hi. y/n. If you’re watching this then I’ve somehow managed to get this synced into your camera by some weird... bluetooth, iCloud shit that Felix helped me figure out. 

...

It’s been a year. And... I just thought you should... see this, or hear me out, at least. I know we didn’t end on the best terms... and I’m sorry. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have yelled at you for being unreasonable for something that was... suspicious. I should’ve understood. 

...

I should’ve been there. To see you off. And I’m sorry I didn’t. I... was scared, that I wouldn’t be able to let you go if I went to send you off. I was a coward. I still am. 

...

But I do want you to know that... those 50 days were the best days of my life. Albeit it ended horribly, but nothing could... nothing- nothing will ever replace what happened last April. 

...

I said I love you and... I still do. Every day I think about you and your smile and your voice and- and I cry to sleep... worrying that I’d forget how you sound like, or how you laugh and how... how you smell like. My bed smelt like you even after you left. 

...

I just- I love you. And I miss you. And I’d do anything to go back to what we had. I’d do anything to get- to get you back. 

...

I’m sorry.

...

the clip comes to an automatic stop. the white triangle slapped onto the screen, begging you to play it again. you look up from the screen, watching the famous calvin klein ad that hasn’t stopped playing in the last month. 

he hasn’t changed one bit. not his hair, not his smile, not his voice. 

it’s a bittersweet pot of memory stashed in the back of your head when the memories flood back. looking back down at the camera, you count back the days - it was synced just last night. 

the pile of tissues by your thighs are carelessly huddled into the bin next to your feet, mentally berating yourself for going through the memory instead of formatting it. 

you stand, fingers shutting the screen back onto its body with a soft click. the tv blacks out when you press the red button on its remote. 

you’re halfway into your kitchen when there’s a knock at your door, and you immediately gasp, blinking rapidly.

“oh, it’s my fucking projector!”

rushing to the door, you don’t hesitate to get the door open. 

and yet, like the heavens were providing you with all the light to stop you from doubting yourself, your lungs empty themselves like vacuums. 

your heart stops.

your breathing stops.

“eric... what are you doing here?”

[sixteenthshen]

Episode 1 Notes/Meta

Contains minor spoilers up to Youtube's schedule and references to the novel

Since I don’t have any new episodes to watch until Friday, I decided to watch the drama all over again, very closely, to see if there’s anything new to discover.

Zhou Zishu's character: 

Drama immediately sets the backdrop/tells us why his character is kinder, more compassionate than in the novel. We don't know that drama!ZZS is kinder yet at this time, but we can see that he's schemey and sneaky

He wears a mask of indifference as the Window of Heaven's leader (sorry ZZH, I was wrong. I thought your acting was stiff during one scene, but now I know better). It's one of the many subtle faces of ZZS.

Wen Kexing's character:

He must be a highly-skilled martial artist based on how easily he kills two ghosts and that he can spot another skilled martial artist from a distance (beggar Zhou)

He's quite schemey. First, when he orders all his subordinates out to hunt for a man he just killed. Next, when he lets Gu Xiang go to check on the beggar, he's also subtly using her to test that unknown person's martial arts skills.

Why they're soulmates:

WKX understood immediately what "beggar" Zhou was doing (suntanning)

They're both well-matched schemey bastards

Behind the cut, geographical details and some details about the supporting characters. This is a very text-heavy post FYI

In chronological order:

20 years ago, Rong Xuan was killed by the Five Lakes Alliance and the gathered heroes.

Prince Jin is based far away in the North (Hedong 河东), where he holds power. It implies most of the story later takes place closer to the south of China.

Prince Jin ordered the Window of Heaven (TC in short, for Tian Chuang) to assassinate the Military Governor of Zhenwu (Officer Li). The Zhenwu Army is located somewhere around Inner Mongolia today.

Prince Jin falsely claims the Military Governor is a traitor to the country and has him assassinated. Prince Jin harbours treasonous thoughts, and in turn, makes ZZS and TC traitors.

Officer Li recognized Zhou Zishu by sight (calls him Officer Zhou), which means that they must have met previously somehow. He is shocked to know that ZZS is the leader of TC, so TC must be a secret assassin/spy organization (like an ancient CIA)

Zhou Zishu gets a drop of blood on his sword and flicks it off – he does not like blood.

Princess Jing An knows ZZS and first calls him Zhou shixiong (her first instinct is to use a familiar address). She later changes it to Officer Zhou when she realizes what he did.

Princess Jing An quotes, "The flowers blossom in all four seasons, knowing everything in the world", which makes ZZS turn to look at her - he sees the hairpin that his shidi Qin Jiuxiao made for the one he loves. ZZS gets super sad.

This line of poetry refers to the Four Seasons Manor (ZZS's martial arts sect)

ZZS, during his time as a court official, intentionally has a blank mask, so his emo is seen only in his slightly teary eyes.  Removing this mask is also part of the freedom he seeks. Possibly symbolic that he feels freer living behind a physical mask than he does with his face.

Prince Jin ordered ZZS to personally nail the seven nails into Bi Chang Feng (Uncle Bi). It seems somewhat cruel of the Prince. ZZS walks with 2 of his commanders – Duan Pengju and Han Ying.

Uncle Bi calls ZZS Manor Lord (庄主)*. He says he cannot help but suspect the motives of Prince Jin. ZZS shows a slight reaction to this. He knows the motivations of Prince Jin by now. Not only is he a traitor himself, but he dragged all his 81 men down with him.

This is the root cause of ZZS's different personality traits in the drama and novel. I think his character in both the book and drama adaption is similar, but his additional compassion stems from being placed in different circumstances.

Novel!ZZS did terrible things for the right reasons. As a result, he won't feel as guilty and has less reason to be so compassionate.

Drama!ZZS followed the wrong master, and the awful things he did were for treasonous reasons. There's no justification for the lives he took. Because he did worse things, he's better able to "see the light" and understand things in life better. Therefore, kinder.

The motto of the Window of Heaven (as requested by Prince Jin):

The members are to carry out their missions without leaving a trace (shadow without traces)

Once a person enters TC, they're never to leave (entry without exit.)

To know everything and to be everywhere.

When the camera cuts to ZZS's two senior officers, Han Ying shuts his eyes sadly while Duan Pengju has a slight smile on his face 🤨🤨.

Nails of Seven Torments (七窍三秋钉) – seven nails, each to be driven into the seven primary acupoints (for martial arts) in a person's body. After that, a person won't get to see more than three autumns. They would lose their martial arts ability entirely, and their five senses deteriorate over time, preventing the secrets of TC from being leaked. (see #2 of their motto)

ZZS does not like anyone who's not from his sect to call him Manor Lord, as it's a reminder of his failings. He doesn't think he has the right to be called that any longer since he ruined his sect.

Prince Jin calls ZZS by his name directly (Zishu); it implies a certain level of familiarity. However, ZZS hasn't been presented himself in front of Prince Jin in some time, suggesting he has already distanced himself from Prince Jin (and a certain level of disrespect)

From Duan Pengju, we learn that ZZS hadn't taken up his sword much in the past year due to a lingering injury; this time at the Military Governor's residence was the first time he wielded his sword in a while.

DPJ also uses this word again (又) in Chinese to describe ZZS aggravating his injuries again (that isn't in the YT subs), which implies that he has suffered other internal injuries before, not solely from QJX's death. DPJ is subtly suggesting to Prince Jin that ZZS is no longer very fit and not suitable for his role (shows us his ambition).

ZZS's current injury (that Uncle Bi refers to and why he coughed up blood in the snow) came about after Qin Jiuxiao's (shidi) death. He coughed up blood then and fainted.**

ZZS's residence is called Chongming Garden (重明苑), where he has a mural of 82 white flowers and the line of poetry about the Four Seasons Manor. He paints each flower red when one of his original sect members pass away. There's only one white flower left --- himself.  See this link for a more detailed translation.

ZZS scolds a vision of his shidi not to cry. ZZS's assertion that men shouldn't cry comes up several times later. His eyes only get teary after this scene, and not a single tear falls again (still canon for now).

ZZS has an official court position. He's an Imperial Guard with some seniority, and it's likely why the Military Governor calls him Officer Li. (A governor would not call a low ranked Imperial Guard “Officer” 大人 daren)

ZZS has several battle wounds from a blade, but the ones on his back (shoulder blades) look messy. Not sure what they are yet, but I think it could become relevant later.

Prince Jin appears unstable when he talks about everyone leaving him. Yunxing and Beiyuan are both characters from Lord Seventh. Beiyuan is the titular character of that novel. When Prince Jin said, "Beiyuan is gone too", ZZS displays a minute reaction because he knows Beiyuan isn't actually dead.

Prince Jin says ZZS is ruthless, but he's even more so to himself (recurring description).

Here, we see that ZZS knows of DPJ's ambition to take over his job when he says they both get their wishes today. DPJ becomes the new TC leader.

Prince Jin lets ZZS go. As he watches ZZS leave, he recites two lines from a poem, which title roughly translates to "on one's deathbed/imminent death".***

“涓涓江汉流，天窗通冥室。谗邪害公正，浮云翳白日。” Small streams can become large rivers; even a window as small as a skylight can brighten a dark room. Rumours and evil can harm the public good; clouds can block the bright light of the sun.

There's some foreshadowing here. Prince Jin sees ZZS leaving as a threat. It could be that one person leaving TC "standing" may lead to an exodus or that ZZS knows too much to be left alive outside for long. Prince Jin sees himself as the righteous and the sun here. He follows the recital by saying he's only letting ZZS go for now.

ZZS's beggar styling is supposed to juxtapose his strict and neat dress as the leader of TC, including his hair and overall CBAssed-ness of how his clothes hang.

Hanged ghost died super quick. We see an arm covered in a red sleeve strangle him to death. Red sleeve dude seems to be the head of the Ghost Valley (yaaaaa we know who you are)

WKX lies to the masses about the Hanged Ghost and tells them to set forth out of the Ghost Valley. We can see that all of them are scared of him. He has a scheme -- but we don’t know what it is yet.

WKX and ZZS meet (yay!!!) in Yue (modern-day Zhejiang, in the south), far away from Prince Jin. We should note that this is very far away from the North, where Prince Jin and TC hold power.

ZZS would rather be a beggar than the Emperor. The freedom to live and do whatever he chooses is more important to him than riches or power.

WKX understood what ZZS was doing right away (while GX thinks he's a beggar). This is why they're soulmates!

Gu Xiang's cuteness comes off as a little forced here, but upon re-watching, I believe it's because she hasn't been out in the "human world" before. Her mannerisms are all learned from her life in the Ghost Valley. She's also about ten years younger than WKX, so she's supposed to be more energetic.

WKX allows GX to go down partly because he is curious about the beggar, who seems to be very skilled at martial arts. GX is quite a straightforward and innocent person. She's unaware that she's helping to test the beggar's skills for her master.

WKX notices the ZZS's martial arts and stands up right away. This scene is also more important than it seems to be at first. Later in episode 2, it's revealed that he recognized the beggar's particular martial arts as unique to the Four Seasons Manor sect. I think it's the first hint that beggar Zhou may be "Zhou Zishu". (We find out that WKX knows ZZS's real name in episode 6.)

ZZS intentionally hits himself to make himself seem like a poor injured beggar and GX a bully. It shows that ZZS is sneaky – and again, ruthless, even to himself.

* ZZS is not a real lord. He's the sect leader (Manor Lord comes about because his sect's name ends in Manor, and the address "my lord" comes from Manor Lord). ** This is a fictional type of injury, where people in Chinese historical dramas cough up blood when they suffer severe emotional shocks that cause some unexplained internal injury. *** 《临终诗》

[sifu-zutara]

Hey guys!!

So I’ve had this account for years and I started it just to keep track of fics for myself and to share some with you guys. Recently it’s really blown back up and I’m so thankful!! It’s so nice to hear from you guys especially in quarantine which is still going pretty strong where I live. Normally I only ever reblog fic recs that other people have made because I’ve been too nervous to make my own but I felt that it was time👍🏻 I’ll try to organize this the best I can but I hope you all enjoy!! Please let me know if anyone would want something similar to this in the future ❤️❤️

Also just an FYI, all these fics are completed. I’ll post the rating and word count just to make things a little easier for you guys :) 

The Last Waterbender by myshipsaresunk on ao3. Rated G. 329,294 words

 “AU where Katara is the Avatar// While on a quest to restore his honour, Zuko stumbles across a girl stranded on an iceberg. Katara has no memories when she wakes from the ice. They journey together through the South Pole, Zuko trying to find the Avatar and Katara trying to regain her memories. A cruel twist of fate pits their destinies against each other and even as Katara is accepting her legacy as the Avatar, Zuko must decide between her and his destiny.”

mnemosyne by skai_heda on ao3. Rated T. 8,287 words

“And then she dreams of Zuko, of getting to him too late. Murmured words too quiet to decipher, amber eyes going glassy, star-shaped wound hot to the touch.

She doesn't wake with shaking breaths or with fingers clutching at the sheets; she doesn't wake with a pained yelp, or even with tears on her eyes. No, all she has in the wake of her nightmares is the dull, hazy silence of morning. Katara opens her eyes without movement after nightmares, staring up at the ceiling with her heart pounding so hard that it hurts, but it never shows on her face. Even alone, she can't seem to shed the mask of normalcy, of passive contentment.

Katara is glad that her dreams are infrequent, to put things simply. She has enough to worry about without them.”

how rare and beautiful we found each other by antarcticas on ao3. No rating. 9109 words

““Prince Zuko,” she quirks up at him, hands over her chest in a gesture that is more assertive than angry.

“Lady Katara,” he responds in kind, his eyes searing into hers. “It is good to see you again. I will admit, a part of me yesterday believed you wouldn’t come back.”Katara and Zuko fall in love in a world without war.”

The Color of the Stars by bluenebulae on ao3. Rated T. 172,326 words

“One moment changes the course of history. Katara and Zuko are imprisoned by the Fire Nation Army during the Day of Black Sun, and when they escape, they find themselves adrift in the Fire Nation with no one to rely on but each other. With only six weeks before Sozin’s Comet arrives and four nations to cross, the pair must track down Katara’s allies, save the world—and learn to trust each other.”

Our Strange Duet by Ally147 on ao3. Rated T. 22,300 words

“She makes one last adjustment of the ornate collar, then looks up at him and smiles. “You look good, Fire Lord.”

He huffs. “Don’t call me that.”

“Why not? That’s what you are, isn’t it? What you’re going to be?”

“Not to you.” The look in his eyes stops her in her tracks and settles somewhere deep inside her. “Never to you.”

Katara Alone by cablesscutie on ao3. Rated T. 21,047 words

“The war is over, and with it goes the only life she has ever known. In this era of love and peace, the world is becoming new, and Katara is unsure of her place in it. That's okay though. Katara has rebuilt her life from scratch before, and she will do it again.”

Half Asleep by crushinator on ao3. Rated T. 82,362 words

“Five years after the Hundred-Year War, Fire Lord Zuko is hit with an assassin's dart, and falls into a coma from which he cannot wake. A week passes, and his prognosis is grim. But Katara could swear she hears him in her dreams.”

Lightning Strikes in Her Eyes by cynical_mystic on ao3. No rating. 33,313 words

“Three years after the end of the Hundred Year War, Katara is questioning her relationship with the Avatar. On the other side of the world, Fire Lord Zuko is struggling with an uprising in the Fire Nation. What happens when the two collide, haunted by the day Zuko saved her life? This is my take on Zutara, and covers some things that were left unsaid in the show. Loosely based on the comics in some places.”

The Blackfish and the Dragon by ama on ao3. Rated M. 102,800 words

“Katara grew up in the Southern Water Tribe under the tutelage of Hama, the only waterbender ever to have escaped Fire Nation captivity. When Zuko arrives at the South Pole, seeking the Avatar, they are more than ready to defend him. Iroh watches as his beloved nephew throws himself at the ice walls again and again in an impossible siege–-and resolves to do anything it takes to save his nephew from himself. With the assistance of the Order of the White Lotus, he deposes his brother on the Day of Black Sun.

A week later, the Southern Water Tribe receives a petition for peace, and a proposal of marriage.”

Something Brewing by Draco_sollicitus on ao3. Rated E. 28,297 words

“When Katara returns to visit the Fire Nation after nearly a year away, Zuko is struck by how much his feelings towards her have changed.

It's all he can do to not blurt his emotions out to her, or to make a fool of himself -- but, with some advice from Uncle Iroh, Zuko decides to be patient in his courting of the Waterbender.

And, it yields some ... interesting results.”

So I think for now this is all I have, If you guys like this let me know and I’ll start another one with some more recommendations :) Hope everyone is doing ok!!

[torujours]

🦇 plot: Your city has been dealing with vampire attacks year after year and you have been lucky enough to avoid coming face to face with the famed vampire himself or do you? Afterall, vampires look just like you and me. Normal right? Untill it's too late for you to say goodnight and go.

🦇 wc: 2,110

🦇 warnings: slight metions of blood and violence!!

🦇 mini playlist:

Monster- Lady Gaga

Bad Romance- Halestorm version

Never getting rid of me- EGG version

🦇: please note: this is a longer continuation of this drabble i wrote but you can read this as a stand alone also but there is some references to this drabble fyi

It’s been a week since you saw Suna.

You would think meeting someone like him would stay stuck in your head, playing on repeat but it just was the occasionally thought. 

He didn’t occupy your mind in such a way, it was odd but nothing you can do about it. After all, that fang you saw was just your imagination after a long night you were sure of that. Vampires aren’t real, but your city is ripe with these “vampire attacks” for many years people have been attacked by someone who takes large amounts of their blood, leaving them knocked out and with puncture wounds that look like vampire bites but not many people believed it was a real vampire but some creep harming people late at night. You no longer believed in vampires, yes there was a time you were deeply convinced the blood sucking creatures of the night walked among humans but that was a long time ago. So you carried on, October was coming to a close and nothing in your life truly changed. 

Unknown to you, Suna wasn’t thinking much about you either. Sure, it was odd you managed to find out he was a vampire just by looking at him but nothing about you stood out. You just seemed normal, you didn’t even have an intoxicating smell just sweet and pleasant but nothing to knock him off his feet (plus it helped he fed before that encounter at the party). “Thinking about that person you met at the party I see” Suna kept his mutual face despite his announce towards his blond friend “Of course, not you overgrown dandelion, now leave me alone” But Atsumu just smirked and laughed “Well I happen to know where they work in case you ever want that info~” Suna doesn’t say anything, shutting his eyes and finding something better to do with his time. 

Another week goes by and at this point, Suna is more of a memory. You don’t even know if he lives around here. Your eyes wander around the quiet and almost empty library, the sun was starting to set and your shift was just getting started. Working at the campus library has it's perks like you get easy access to books for projects and studying plus you have always been a night owl. “I’d like to take this book out please..” you look up at the backpack wearing student holding a thick book in their hand “sure thing..” you take the book and scan it, the title catches your eye “the history of mythical creatures huh.. Sounds pretty cool” you state and they nod excitedly “it’s for a story I’m writing but it also helps I like reading about that type of stuff” you also liked reading that type of stuff, falling into the lore and mystery that came with witches, werewolves but most of all..vampires. 

“Thank you..” they take the book and walk away from your desk, leaving you to think for a moment about what other books on vampires the library has but you don’t linger on it for long. Your shift ends hours later without issue, but the sun is down and the moon now hangs eerily in the sky as you walk out of the quiet building. You have grown to hate how early it gets dark during this time of the year, it doesn't let itself well to a nice walk home and now the attacks have everyone on edge  yet again. Still you hold onto your bag tightly and don’t waste time walking home, staying close to lightpost and open spaces. You haven’t been attacked before and don’t want this year to be the one. 

Suna whips the corner of his month, the taste of dark red blood heavy in his month still as he looks at his “victim” before moving their body to lean on a nearby tree, he might be a vampire but he isn’t a monster. They aren’t dead don’t worry...just taking a nap in his mind. So after calling 911 and telling them to pick up the body, he doesn’t waste time heading home. Feeling the need for a after meal nap, he walks down the empty sidewalk when a familiar scent hits his nose causing him to stop momentary. It’s you he can smell. You might not have a smell out a fairytale book but Suna never forgets a smell. So, it takes him no time finding you as you powerwalk your way home. It’s funny, Suna didn’t think he would see you again yet here you are. Should he say something? Maybe be a jerk and scare you would be funny? But he decides to just watch you on your way home, but he smirks and shakes his head watching you jump slightly at the smallest sounds. It’s dangerous to walk home so late, he is out and about so just where did you come from? He eventually gets board of watching you and finally leaves you to walk alone again, remembering that annoying wolf aka Atsumu knows more about you. Suna doesn’t believe in coincidences but it is just a tad bit interesting you keep popping up on his radar, it wouldn’t hurt to learn a little more would it?

After one of the worst walks home, you finally shut the door and let out the breath you were holding. Someone was following you, you were sure of it but they just left you alone. You shiver, wanting nothing more then just to shower and relax. Relax you do for a few hours till your phone blows up the next morning with alerts about yet another attack no too far from where you were, the chill once again runs down your spine. 

Yet another hard working night at the library, it’s even more empty so you decide to find a book to read (wanting to stay away from anymore news about the attack) As if automatically, your feet put you right in front of the books about mythical creatures. Books about vampires stare back at you as you grab one and head back towards your desk. You flip mindlessly though the pages, taking little information other then what you already knew.

Beautiful skin, sharp fangs, no sunlight and blood. 

But the attack last night won’t leave your mind. What if that was you? You did feel something follow you, could it have been- 

Shaking your head you shut the book quickly, there is no vampire. It’s a little funny, you claimed joking that Suna was a vampire and hear you are, along with your whole city, on a vampire brainrot of some kind. It’s almost time to go home, the moon once again staring down from the sky, when the heavy door to the libary opens catching your attention but you jump slightly at the person walking into the warm building. Suna. 

Okay now this is getting freaky.

He eventually turns your way and your head cracks away, trying to look more busy than you are completely missing his smirk. He owns Atsumu one for giving him your place of work, is it a little creepy? Yeah, but he just doesn’t care it’s time to put his plan into action. 

You watch from the corner of your eye as he disappears into the many selves of books. You relax your tense shoulders for a moment, guess that answers the question if he lives around here. It doesn’t take long for him to reappear, a thick, black covered book sitting in his hand as he stunts over to you. He doesn’t even look real. Pale skin, sharp and fox-like eyes along with the always nonchalant look. Maybe it's the lighting in the old building but damn he looks good. He keeps his neutral face as he hands you the book “Fancy meeting you here Y/N..” you scan his book and let out a soft chuckle “Yeah, small world I guess..” He agrees with you and watches you as you put in the information, “The library is empty, how long do you have till you leave..” he asks you calmly as you hand him back the book “I can leave now actually..” the corners of his mouth lift up only for a second before he turns his back to you, casting a look over his shoulder “I’ll walk you home then”. Um..not what you were expecting. Should you say yes? It would be nice to have someone with you or should you say no? You only have met him twice (counting right now) what if something happens? You shake your head again, if something where to happen it would have happened around so it should be fine. “Sure, let me grab my bag.”

“Thank you for walking me home..” you finally say after a few minutes of walking in silence, he just nods “Sure, plus isn’t it a little dangerous for you to be walking so late with yet another year of these attacks...” you frown slightly “yeah but hey someone has to lock up the library..” he chuckles as you keep talking “People think it's a vampire again..” he keeps the smirk off his face “of course they do, with the victims being attacked late at night, the lost of blood and the puncture wounds on their necks but what about you? You buy into the whole vampire thing?” he will admit, he is a little interested in yoru answer. “I gave up believing in vampires a long time ago but I guess I still find them interesting..” He hums listening to you “So you wouldn’t jump in the arms of a handsome, centuries old vampire who wants to suck your sweet, dark red blood?” he smirks at the slight look of embarrassment that flashes in your eyes “If you asked me years ago maybe but I’d like to keep my blood to myself as much as I can..” you laugh, but now that’s interesting to him. Very. “What about you?” You ask him back “hm?” “Do you believe in vampires?” it’s quiet for a moment “Yeah I do..I wouldn’t be surprised if vampires, witches, werewolves and the like walk around..” he looks into your eyes, causing a chill to run down your spine but it's the wind right? “Afterall, they look just like you...normal everyday people hiding their true nature some better then others I assume” he then snickers “Did I spook you?” you huff and turn your head “No way...but I guess you could be right..”.  Your thoughts are going wild in all the wrong ways but you don’t voice them as you both keep walking. 

Your front door is a warm sight in the chill of the night, turning to look at Suna you give a small smile “Thanks again..” his sharp eyes drill holes into your head “Sure, maybe I can keep walking you home till this attacks stop hm?” Your heart is pounding loudly, you almost wonder if he can hear it (and yes he can) as you just smile “I wouldn’t mind that..” just say goodnight and go rings in your ears as his stare counties to look right into your deepest thoughts but he smirks yet again, turning his back to you “Goodnight Y/N...see you soon” it comes out soft, sultry and you aren’t sure why you feel so effected by it but you waste no time turning towards your door. You get a foot inside before a cold hand grabs yours, a chuckle hits your ears as you shut your eyes. “Remember when I said I wasn’t a vampire I just looked good in black..” Suna’s voice flows smooth from one ear to the next as he has trapped you in front of him “Well..I think we both know I lied..” Your eyes widen as your heartbeat quickens, your palms get sweaty and oh my god are your thoughts running wild. Suna is just living for it, finally finding you and your time tonight to be the most interesting interaction with a victim he has ever had in his many years of life. “You said you wouldn’t run into the arms a vampire who wants your blood but I think we should test that idea hm..” he toys with you and you still can’t say anything but your head gives a slow nod, you find yourself unable to say anything. 

Is it out of fear? Or want is the real question but you don’t have time for that cause Suna is already in your home. 

No time for thinking now. No time for a “goodnight and go”

[walkingdaryls]

no sunburns

pairing: loki x female!reader

requested: nope!

summary: you and loki spend time together in tony’s beach house during the team’s vacation

—btw, i don’t usually like making giving reader a specific description (so it’s relatable to everyone) but for the sake of this storyline, she’s pale. i’m sorry if this is an inconvenience to anyone :( love u

(obviously: a bit AU. just for funsies...also why does it look like he’s saying “how much do u weigh” in the gif LMAO)

You could tell it was late into the morning by the way the bright sun shined on your face through the large windows. Usually, you’d groan and flip to the other side of the bed and try to dive back into sweet, sweet slumber. But you suddenly remember this wasn’t the Avengers Tower. For the past couple days you’d been on a blissful beach in Hawaii with the rest of the team. Tony was kind enough to offer all of you to stay in his huge beach house, on a completely private beach with a lively city just a ten minute drive away. When people said “paradise”, this is what they meant.

You eagerly stretched, letting a sigh of relief escape from your mouth. As you walked out of your room and into the main area of the house for some coffee, you were suddenly put off by the silence in the house. The only thing that could be heard were the waves crashing outside and birds chirping happily. The past couple mornings would be extremely loud and obnoxious due to the team all eagerly trying to eat breakfast, get their things together, and head to the beach bright and early. And it’d usually end with everyone yelling at Tony for being the last one to get dressed.

“Um, last time I checked: my house. I may get dressed whenever I damn please,” he’d said one day.

The day before, Bucky had accidentally snapped one of the paddle boards in half, causing ruckus throughout the house. That’s what woke you up at 7am.

That was your only issue about this vacation: waking up early. You were known as the “sleepyhead” on the team...always staying up too late and waking up before lunch (on the days you could, obviously). It was planned for everyone to be on the beach early in the morning so the rest of the day could be for having a nice barbecue on the back porch, visiting the town, and then going out at night. If it weren’t for Nat coming to wake you up right after she did, you’d be the last one out the door every morning. Except for today.

You glanced at the vintage clock on the wall.

10:50 am. Your eyebrows furrowed. Was everyone sleeping in today? You didn’t remember Nat coming to wake you up or anything. Weird. You brushed it off, continuing to make your coffee.

“Well, look who finally decided to wake up,” a voice sounded from the living room. You jumped, sighing of relief once you saw the familiar face standing meters away.

Loki wore his usual slight smirk on his face. He was wearing an oversized, dark green button-up shirt with black beach shorts underneath. It was so quite amusing to see Loki dressed in anything other than his usual black suit or his green uniform. Thor practically dragged him on this trip, so the past few days he just wore a sour expression on his face.

“Yep...” You sighed, not knowing exactly how to have a conversation with the man, “Want some coffee?”

“No, thank you. Already had some hours ago. You know, when everyone else woke up.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Wait, where is everyone else? Nat didn’t wake me up.”

Loki walked closer to the kitchen, his hands behind his back all mannerly, “She tried. Twice. You wouldn’t budge. Steve thought it’d be fair to just let you get your sleep for one night.”

“Oh...” You sipped your coffee, “So they all left already?”

“Yes. Probably will not come back for another few hours,” He said simply. You felt quite upset knowing you were missing out, but at the same, a full night’s sleep was nice. Besides, you still had nearly two weeks left of vacation.

“You didn’t want to go with them?” During the three days in Hawaii so far, Loki only joined you and the team twice. One time at the beach, which he only lasted twenty minutes before going back inside to read a book. And the second time, when you all went shopping at a flea market nearby. He joined your meals at the house, obviously, but he didn’t really go out. It upset you. Others might’ve still hated his guts, but you didn’t, and he deserved to enjoy the time off.

“No.”

“Loki, I know you don’t wanna be here, but at least use the free time to your advantage. Once the two weeks are over, it’ll be back to work. Who knows when we’ll get another long vacation, right?”

“You mortals are so obsessed with this so-called vacation. You do realize you could enjoy ‘free time’ whenever you please, right?” He stared at you intensely, and you didn’t like it one bit.

“That’s not really how it works,” You breathed out, “Vacations like this: where I have absolutely zero worries...extremely rare. I’m putting it to good use.”

He chuckled sarcastically, “By sleeping away half of the day?”

You stood there with your eyes narrowed, wanting to slap his amused grin off his face. You and Loki never personally had any issues with each other, but he did get on your goddamn nerves sometimes. It was always sarcastic remarks when sitting across each other from the dinner table. Or smirks from across the gym during training. You’d consider each other friends....but, really odd friends.

“Just for today,” You spit back, “And FYI, I’ll be putting the rest of my day to good use. Until the others get back.”

“How so?”

You gestured to the large glass windows showing off the gorgeous beach just meters away. Loki raised his eyebrows in amusement, humming a quick “ah”.

“You wanna come, too?” You said without even thinking it.

For just a flash of a second, the look in his eyes became just a bit softer. He truly was not used to the feeling of being wanted or included in something. But you barely even noticed before his usual demeanor returned.

“I hate the beach.”

You shrugged, “I hated it too, actually. For a longgg time. But Nat slowly started dragging me out during vacations. To pools, too. I eventually started enjoying it. I just hate how badly I burn.”

“Burn?”

“Yes,” You absentmindedly pulled down your soft t-shirt down off your shoulder, exposing the cherry-red burns covering your skin, “See?”

Loki slowly stepped forwards, almost mesmerized. He was practically towering over you. This made you gulp, suddenly extremely aware of how close he was to you. You could feel the coldness of his skin radiating off of him, even without touch. His hand was slightly raised, as if he wanted to lightly touch your shoulder, but he refrained. You secretly wanted his icy hands to add that relief to your burns, but you kept silent as well.

“Does it hurt?” He asked, stepping back once again. You responded quickly, covering your shoulder once again.

“Yes, to be honest. But I’ve grown used to it. One of the downsides of being pale.”

“But I don’t burn. And I’ve been told I look like a ghost?”

You snorted, remembering Clint’s comment at the dinner table one night.

“Well, you’re a God, remember? I think mortals have different rules with that kinda stuff.”

Loki nodded, “How boring.”

You sighed, “Tell me about it.”

The room fell silent, so you awkwardly sipped your coffee once more before speaking up.

“I’m going to go put on my swimsuit. So...no beach for you?” You sort of wanted some company, if you were being honest.

Loki shook his head, “I’ll just go back to my book.”

“Alright then,” you nodded before scurrying back to your room and finishing your coffee.

You let out a large breath once you shut the door in your room. You didn’t know what it was exactly, but Loki always made you nervous. And it wasn’t in a bad way, more of an...intimidating way. It didn’t help that he was obviously handsome, too.

Tying up your bikini, you carefully observed yourself in the mirror. You looked great. The green, leather bikini had been a gift from Wanda a few months back. You had yet to use it, so why not? You winced at your burns on your shoulders once more before heading out the door with your sunscreen and towel in your hands. And of course, your signature cat-eye sunglasses on your face.

Making your way through the living room, you suddenly became extremely aware of Loki’s presence on the couch, and his gaze following you. But you didn’t dare look back. It was a rush of relief once you passed the glass doors and set aside your things.

The day was absolutely gorgeous. The sun was shining, but nothing too strong. There was a gentle breeze, and you felt blissful. You even danced around by yourself to the speaker playing next to you, partially forgetting about Loki sitting just meters away inside.

You prepared to skip over into the clear waters when you remembered. Sunscreen, ugh. You could just see the look of disappointment on Steve’s face if he found out you forgot sunscreen and only made your burns worse. The entire team had been in shock upon seeing how badly you burned in just a couple days, but Steve was the most worried. Always, constantly reminding you to put sunscreen. Especially on your back...since that spot was easily missed.

So there you stood, with music blasting on the beach, rubbing the cream all around your body. You made sure you wouldn’t miss an inch of your body. You were sick of the burns, of the itching, of the potential peeling. You made sure to double up on the sunscreen when you got to your shoulders. And your cheeks on your face...you got easily red there too.

But when it got to your back, you looked like an idiot trying to reach back there. Usually you’d have Nat or Wanda to help you right away, but you were alone.

Well, almost alone.

You didn’t dare look back inside, scared of seeing Loki watch you struggle. The temptation to ask him for help was extreme, but it was too embarrassing. You thought about maybe just hoping for the best and getting in the beach like this, but it was too risky. No more sunburns.

You tried to reach your back once more time before you realized it was an impossible task. So, very hesitantly, you turned to look inside the house. And just as you expected, Loki’s eyes were on you. His book had been thrown aside, and he was leaning over to get a good look at you. He held his usual smirk, obviously enjoying watching you struggle.

“A little help, please?” You called out. You felt so childish. But to be honest, you were a bit surprised when Loki got up with no protesting. Just an amused eye roll.

Your leg bounced a bit in anticipation as the raven-haired God made his way down the couple steps and over to you.

“Yes?” He asked. You knew he was teasing, and you hated it.

Your eyes narrowed, “I can’t reach my back. Could- Could you please?” He eyed the bottle you held out to him.

He inhaled sharply, “I guess so.” His cold hands grabbed the sunscreen from yours. But you didn’t flinch when you felt his icy fingers brush past yours.

You turned around, facing the beach and away from him. The snap of the opened cap could be heard. He squeezed the sunscreen into his hands before rubbing them together a few times, and gently placing them on your back.

The feeling of cool skin on your burnt back was pure bliss. You didn’t give him any reaction, but your eyes did close with pure relief. His hands were hesitant, but he began rubbing the cream around your back.

“Your hands are cold. It’s nice,” You say first. His hands stop for a split second before returning to their job.

He noticed you never flinched, “They don’t bother you?” His voice was soft.

“No, I’ve always liked the cold.”

It was that sentence- the simplest comment - that had Loki almost freezing in his spot. But he remained calm. And surprisingly, so did you.

Oh fuck, did I just accidentally flirt with the God of Mischief? You wanted to cower away. You silently thanked the skies for not facing him in that very moment.

“Oh?” Was all he said. His hand movements had slowed just a bit.

You blurted out, “Actually...god this is really weird, but could you just- could you place your hands on my shoulders? Like, just leave them there? Cold compress helps burns.” And now you were extremely thankful you couldn’t see his face.

“Okay.”

You couldn’t help but exhale loudly upon the feeling of his coolness on your skin. It was just what you needed. You two stood in silence for just a few seconds longer before you gently tapped his hands, signaling it was enough. You finally turned to face him.

“Thank you,” You smiled shyly.

“Do the burns feel better?” His face remained neutral.

You nodded, “Much better.”

He gazed at you for a few seconds before snapping out of it.

“Well,” You spike up, “I’m gonna get in now.”

“Right,” He nodded. You nodded back, not sure on what to say. As you turned around to the beach, you suddenly stopped in your tracks. You didn’t want to leave the conversation off like that.

“Loki, can you please just get in?”

His amused expression returned, “Pardon?”

“I- I don’t like getting in the water by myself. The beach is fun with other people. Otherwise I’m just the idiot floating around like a fish.”

“A fish?” He snorted. You chuckled, digging your toes in the sand nervously. He caught that. He could sense your nervousness, which only softened him more.

How could he say no? You were the only person who’d ever offered him something so genuine.

He rolled his eyes, “Well, fine. Only because everyone else is gone.”

You smiled brightly, “Yay! Come on.” You jogged towards the shore without a second thought. The smile only grew once you were ankle deep in the cool waters. You turned around, finding Loki in the same spot as before, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. You couldn’t help but stare...He was so focused on his buttons, so it wouldn’t hurt, right?

Clint had been right. Loki was truly pale. Very pale. Even more than you. Yet his chest still glowed like the God he was. His skin was as soft as ever. You wondered for a second what it’d be like to run your hands-

“You mortals do love to stare a lot,” Loki said, making his way towards you. You simply smirked, looking away to mask the redness growing on your cheeks.

He hesitated once his feet reached the water. But you stood there, already knee deep, watching him patiently.

“It’s so therapeutic, I promise. Come on,” You beckoned him over. His face seemed so confused, you almost laughed.

Slowly yet surely, he finally stood right next to you. You looked up to him, eyes scrunched from your smile and the sun in your eyes. He stared you down, but he wasn’t holding the intense glare anymore. It was definitely much more peaceful. He was pretty like this.

“See?” You smiled wider, splashing him lightly.

He stood completely still for a hot second, before suddenly splashing you with as much water his strength could muster.

You gasped, “LOKI!” And you found yourself splashing him back.

And he splashed you again.

You screamed, going deeper into the water. He followed you, continuing his splashing. You tried to splash back, but it got to the point where you were so deep into the water, you had to focus on keeping yourself afloat rather than splashing Loki.

“Oh, fuck, I don’t reach here anymore. Time out, time out!” You barked a laugh, struggling with floating due to so much movement.

Loki’s genuine laughter was music to your ears. You’d never heard him release such a noise before.

His splashing stopped as he made his way over to you and gently scooped you up with one arm. It took you completely by surprise. You watched the God with wide, curious eyes.

Once balanced against him, and no longer struggling with floating, you splashed him once more, completely drenching his hair this time. He shut his eyes, promptly letting go of you in order to wipe his eyes.

You laughed loudly, swimming away closer to shore.

“You think you’re so clever,” Loki called out, hot on your tail. Your heartbeat accelerated as you felt him get closer to you.

You weren’t able to reach the shore before you felt Loki’s hand grab your foot and drag you back. You screamed, not able to contain the giggles pouring out of you.

Loki watched you with a smile on his face as you laughed with your eyes closed. You held your hands up to your face.

“Please don’t splash me, I’m begging you,” you yelled. You tried to get away, but he was quick.

His hands gripped your waist, pulling you in once again.

“Last time I checked, you splashed me first,” Loki said, his voice deep. Your faces were so close. So close. And with your wet bodies practically pressed against each other, the tension was suddenly thick.

You slowly came down from your fit of laughter, drawing back into reality: which was Loki’s face eerily close to yours. You sighed softly, making eye contact with his blue ones. You couldn’t read the look on his face, but his gaze was so intense once again, you had to hold your breath.

His fingers brushed your waist ever so slightly, and you reacted without thinking.

You leaned forward, meeting your lips with his. It was a quick peck, before you pulled back in shock.

Your cheeks were tomato red, and it wasn’t because of the sun anymore.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I-“ But your voice trailed off, because Loki’s other hand reached up to touch your face softly.

“L-Loki?” You whispered, your faces close once again.

“Don’t apologize, darling,” Loki said, before meeting you in a second kiss.

His lips against yours, his soft hand on your waist, your hand in his dark locks: it was almost too blissful.

You changed your mind: this was paradise.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” The familiar voice of Tony Stark sounded from the shore.

You helped, breaking apart from Loki, just to see your entire team watching you with their jaws on the floor.

“Oh,” Loki smirked, “Back so early?”

—

[bb-tings]

One Night With The Devil

reader x rafe x a hint of barry 

request: your masterlist tags said to send some barry requests, so, if you feel comfortable, what if you were rafe's girlfriend and he couldn't pay him the money he owed for drugs so instead they made a deal together where barry could have his way with you for a night as a way of rafe paying off his debt? 

(fyi, just in case you didn’t see it the first time: I COMPLETELY CHANGED THE POT FROM THE TEASER {but the barry part comes in part 2})

summary:  In which Barry would do anything to get the girl back. Screwing Rafe over in the process, well that’s just the icing.

(part one is basically just barry & y/n hurting rafe’s feelings) 

warnings: LOTS of cussing, lots of yelling, lots of anger, lots of talk about sex but no sex (yet)

TAGLIST:  @ampanonyg @ims0golden @jjsmentalpolaroids @stargazingstarkey @letsgofullkook @jjmbanks @maybanksbaby @1-800-jjslut @simpforstarkey @jellyfishbeansontoast @ilovejjmaybank​​ @royalpogue​ @bitchell-marner @rafecameronswh0re @baby-pogue @sunwardsss @k-k0129 @afterglowsb-tch13 @in-stability @ilovejjmaybank​ @abbiesthings​

taglist requests are open 😊

⁓

        She watched the sweat roll down his face, knowing that the sun’s rays weren’t the only reason for the salty perspiration. Rafe wrung his hands together, his shoulders rigid as he spoke with Barry. She didn’t need to hear the conversation to know that neither boy was happy about the situation, however, they showed very different emotions. Barry looked fed up with the rich boy, not wanting to hear another lame excuse as to why he, once again, didn’t have the money he owed. Even though the Cameron boy was much taller than the dealer, he couldn’t help but be afraid of the dealer. He had been threatened with his life and the very few things that he cherished, but he still somehow found the bravery every week to show up at Barry’s place with empty hands. 

        Y/n was well aware of Rafe's unhealthy habits, but after many, many attempts at trying to get him to stop or get help, it only resulted in yelling matches and tears. She was also well aware of the fact that she could do a lot better. Y/n had somehow always found herself involved with the wrong types of boys. From rich, stuck-up, coke-addicted, college dropouts to surfing, adventure chasing, daddy issues having, stoners to criminal, shotgun carrying, ex (most likely dishonorable) military, drug dealers. But that was just a few vague types. Guess Maybank and her current beau weren’t the only ones with daddy issues. At least she was happy in ⅔ of those relationships.

        Barry’s eyes moved to the young girl hiding behind the open door, biting his lip when she crossed her arms over her exposed chest in the low cut crop top, not realizing that it only made the skin more visible and teasing to his eye. 

“Damn, how the hell did you score that? Cause I’m picturing a few ways you could repay me.”

        Rafe looked up to Barry, confusion written on his face. He stood up straight and followed Barry’s eyes, watching his girlfriend stepping out from behind the door and closing it. Rafe took notice of how she seemed to be captivated by Barry's stare, neither being able to look away.

“Nah, man, she’s off-limits.” Hearing this made Barry laugh, knowing at one point in his life, he two could have muttered those same words about the same girl.

        He wished he could tell him the truth, the truth that Rafe has no idea about. The truth that lived before Barry himself even met Rafe, before he lost the girl. That girl was his, and he’ll be damned if he isn’t gonna get her again before the drugs get to him.

“Boy, when you gon’ get it. Ain’t none-a’ yo’ shit off-limits to me. As long as you owe me, yo’ shit, is my shit. But, ya’ know what, I've decided that I don't want yo' money anymore,” the boy looked over to where the young girl was still standing with a smirk on his lips. “I want something a little more personal to you."

“You’re joking, right? Like you can’t be serious-”

“Why cain’t I be?” This time Barry got right in Rafe’s face, invading his personal space, at least what was left of it.

“B-Because she’s- she’s a-”

“Because she’s what? A virgin? You one dumb mother fucker, Cameron. You know that? Look,  we both know that ain’t true. I know she’s a freak, and I know that she didn’t make you wait that long. She wanted it just as bad as you, didn’t she?” When Barry’s statements were met with silence, he continued.

“I told you. I run this shit, Cameron. Nothing happens on this island that I don’t know about. Not one girl that you get, hasn’t been through me yet, Country club. So you either tuck tail and go beg daddy for some big cash, or you tell yo’ sweetie over there to open up. Either way, you best get rid of that pride until I’m satisfied.”

        At that moment, Rafe weighed his options. He thought about how he could come clean to his dad, tell him about all the shit he had gotten himself into over the last two summers. How he started to sell things around the house to support his addiction, how he was the reason 2 out of 6 of his dad’s priceless watches somehow came up missing. He thought about how he could tell his girlfriend that she had to give it up to his drug dealer for him to drop his dues. He could only imagine how that would go over. But he was angry now. What the fuck was Barry talking about? What had Y/n not told him?

“You want me to WHAT?!”

        It had been a couple of hours since they were parked outside of the infamous trailer. Rafe had tried to wait it out as long as possible before telling her about the deal, but it was getting late and he knew that it was now or never.

“Trust me this is the last thing I want you to do. But-”

“Then why the fuck are you asking me to do it.” Y/n stood in his room with her fingertips on her temples. She couldn’t comprehend what was going on. Y/n watched Rafe smoke his joint while he sat against his headboard. Standing at the end of the bed, watching Rafe tilt his head back and drop it against the wall. She let the thoughts run through her head, all the questions she had. Running, chasing. Why did she let herself get here? Did she sleepwalk her entire relationship? What had she done to make the boy think he had some type of control or say so over her? “What the fuck is wrong with you, Rafe?”

“What’s wrong with me? How about how you? What’s going on with you and my drug dealer? Huh? You’re a liar!” Y/n couldn’t believe her ears. The things coming out of his mouth had her stumped.

“What the actual fuck are you talking about? First of all, I have been nothing but faithful to you, Cameron! And we both know you can’t say the same about yourself. Second of all, my relationship- my past relationship with Barry, is none of your damn business. We’ve had our troubles, but don’t you dare call me a liar, because I have ever only been honest with you. “

“If you’re so fucking honest then why didn’t you tell me that there was even a relationship. Do you know how fucking humiliating it is to have your drug dealer threaten your life and then in the same sentence tell you that he’s fucked your girlfriend before you even met? Because you didn’t tell me-”

“BECAUSE YOU NEVER ASKED! I’m so sorry that it’s hard for you to hear about all the guys on this island that fucked me before you did, but I’m not sorry for doing it. I’m sorry your pride doesn’t allow you to pull your head out of your ass and see that we’ve both been in other relationships before us. I don’t know what you want me to do, Rafe. What? You want me to list them? Is that what you want? Just in case you ever come in contact with one of them and they tell you about our past. Yeah, Barry was my boyfriend at one point. We’ve fucked multiple times. Wanna know who else? The Maybank kid you hate so damn much, fucked him too, more than once. I sucked Kelce off during my freshman year in the boy’s bathroom. Made out with Topper lord knows how many times. I’ve even hooked up with Kie. In your house, in your sister’s bed. So many people other than you have touched my body. That’s something you’re just gonna have to live with. Because I like sex, Rafe. A lot.” 

        Y/n wanted to make him angry. She wanted to see the blood rushing to his head, the veins in his arms getting tight. Wanted him to feel the anger, the same anger rushing through her. The same anger that had her ready to walk away. “Let’s not forget the time your father was willing to risk it all for me.”

“Shut up.” Rafe had traded his spot on the bed for the corner of his room. He was facing the wall with his head in his hands. Palm pressed into his ears. Y/n loved that the 6‘2, almost grown, boy looked like a kid throwing a tantrum. But she wasn’t done.

“What is that hard to hear? Does it hurt that the man you hate the most, the man who looks at you, his own son, with such hatred, almost fucked an underage girl?”

   Rafe was fuming at this point. Eyes squeezed shut, teeth barring down. He was in a hunched position as if the lower he got would allow the words to feel further away.

“I bet it sucks to know that the first time you introduced me to your family. Your friends. That we all had you fooled. Looking at each other, shaking hands as if none of us had never met before. I bet it makes you feel like less of a man, right? Silent whispers with our eyes, sharing secrets we each shared. Making a pact with our glances and our body language. You’re not the man anymore, are you rafe? I wish I had let Mr. Cameron touch me. Ward Cameron’s hands running all over my-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Rafe had snapped. Listening to her words. Hearing the details, it messed with his head. Fucked up his version of the last year. Before he could stop himself, he crossed the room and his hand was wrapped around her throat. He loved her and his body knew it. His grip wasn’t too tight. Nothing he hadn’t done to her before, but now it was different.

“Get your fucking hands off me.” Y/n lifted her hands and shoved Rafe’s shoulders away from her. When she looked back up at the boy she saw them. The tears. He had the nerve to cry, after everything he had put her through. The drugs, the abuse, the yelling, fighting, sex, lying, cheating. If she could deal with all of his bullshit without breaking down and losing her mind, then he had no fucking right to.

“I’m so done. I’m so over letting you run over me, controlling me. Thinking that you own me. Thinking you have the right to whore me out to save yourself. As if I’m some fucking toy. I’m a fucking human being, Rafe. And I’m done. We’re done. It’s over.”

        Rafe stood there, hopelessly watching, as the girl he didn’t know how to love but wanted to so bad, came to her senses and left. Feet planted, tears rolling. They had met his lips now and he could taste the salt. He watched as she packed all her shit up. She was good at remembering where all her leftover shit had been stored and it took her all of 5 minutes to pack it all up.

        When she opened his bedroom door and stepped out, she saw Sarah waiting on the steps with a couple of bathing suits in her hands. Y/n knew by the smirk on the girl’s face that she had heard everything, or at least the worst parts. Sarah stood up and leaned on the stair railing, handing the pastel-colored clothing down to the frustrated girl.

“I’m sorry,” Sarah laughed at the girl’s cringing, scrunched up face. She waved her hand and smiled down at her.

“It’s fine. Unlike some people, I know Topper had a life before me. But that Kie situation, something about my bed. Yeah, I’m gonna need you to elaborate on that one.” Y/n let out a small genuine laugh. She sympathetically smiled at the younger Cameron.

“That’s not what I was apologizing for.” Y/n looked shamefully towards the ground, feeling bad for what the girl had to hear about her family. She looked back up towards the staircase when she heard a sigh leave her lips.

“I’ve known that my dad has issues since I was pretty young. Honestly, I’m just glad that Wheezie and I weren’t the ones who got the fucked up genes. Especially me, I feel like Wheezie could hold her own, ya’ know?” At this Y/n chuckled and then reached for Sarah’s hand.

“Yeah, but if anyone’s holding their own, it’s definitely you, babe.”

“Love you, be safe,” Sarah watched as one of her closest friends started walking backwards towards her front door.

“Will do. Love you too.”

        With that Y/n let herself step outside of the house and into the outside world. Before she walked to her car, she let herself look around the yard. She wanted to take it in, all the memories. Good, bad. As much as she hated that she had let him put her through shit, she didn’t want to regret anything. She wanted to believe that it was something that she would one day look back on and smile. Smile at the thought of whatever she had learned, smile at whatever life experience she could apply the knowledge to. The young girl was done with letting Rafe damage her view on things. She wasn’t gonna let him hurt her anymore. Mentally, emotionally or physically. She was done.

        So as Y/n slid into the driver’s seat of her car and drove her way out of the Tannyhill yard, she allowed herself to hum along to the song playing on her radio. But when she reached the main road and her fingers unconsciously pushed the bar protruding from her steering wheel up, her eyes caught the green arrow on her dash pointing to the right. 

        Y/n turned her head towards the same direction and looked at the many houses that she knew people didn’t deserve. She knew that half the people in Figure 8 didn’t deserve half the things that they owned. They were stuck up, rich white people (most of them anyway) that didn’t give a shit about anybody but themselves. So instead of turning right, towards her own medium-sized home, with her warm bed, where her family was waiting. She turned left.

Towards the cut.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[the-master-maid]

I make an attempt at…Poetry Analysis (Tolkien; In Western Lands) and end up referencing Scotland’s worst poet

In western lands beneath the Sun

the flowers may rise in Spring,

the trees may bud, the waters run, 

the merry finches sing.

Or there maybe 'tis cloudless night 

and swaying beeches bear

the Elven-stars as jewels white

amid their branching hair.

Though here at journey's end I lie

in darkness buried deep,

beyond all towers strong and high,

beyond all mountains steep,

above all shadows rides the Sun

and Stars for ever dwell:

I will not say the Day is done,

nor bid the Stars farewell.

- Tolkien, Lord of the Rings

I am no man! sorry, I mean, I am no poetry major! So, if the following analysis makes you weep (and the tears shed are not the happy tears of one who believes they’ve just encountered the next great literary critic) send me an ask,  let me know or just think to yourself, “well, this is shite but nae mind. The Mastermaid can go hang for all I care. I’d rather read William Topaz McGonagall anyway.” and fyi, WTM is known as the worst poet in Scotland. People used to throw cabbages at him in the 1800s, poor sod!

What poetic meter is this poem written in? Tolkien always uses traditional poetic meter. long after it went out of fashion, I might add. Hip with the kids in the age of jazz and razzmatazz he was not! Nor were he and Lewis jumping into a motorcar together to get stoned and take to the open road while riffing on Kerouac. No, they were cozying up in a pub and probably trying not to make moony eyes at each other while they argued about God. But, I digress…

Meter, what meter!?

Iambic Tetrameter alternating with iambic trimeter maybe? It’s the same meter as Lewis Carrol's the Walrus and the Carpenter. 

Iambic Heptameter (Fourteener) featuring rhyming couplets.? AABBCCDD rhyme structure. Each couplet rhymes in two places, at the end of the first part of the line and at the very end. I suppose that’s why each half-line is actually written on a separate line? (and if you are counting each separate line then you get the rhyming structure: ABABCDCD, EFEFBGBG. Perhaps someone with more knowledge of poetic structure can let me know if any of this is correct and how best to show the structure of this poem...)

There’s a rising and falling throughout the poem as the poet speaks of the things in the sky: sun, stars, birds, cloudless night, tree branches, high towers, steep mountains, and the things down low down; deep buried darkness, the flowers rising in spring, waters running. The very images that are touched upon bring one up and down, up to the sun, down to the earth, up to the stars, down to deeply buried darkness. Up to towers and mountains and stars. Inside this up and down movement of the images is further movement located in nature; water running, trees budding, birds singing. The images of home are very much alive. Moving, singing, growing. But the images near the beginning (the sun) and at the end (the stars) are things from the heavens. 

At the beginning of the poem though, the poet has to take us out of the dark and empty tower where we sit with Sam in despair and so the first thought is the western lands. The lands that pull us out. Once we are out of the tower and in the western lands, we are free to see up to the heavens and down to the little things on the earth.

The “may” is interesting. It illustrates the poet's hope that these natural cycles are happening or perhaps that these things are allowed to happen: the flower may rise, trees may bud ...the poet then imagines that perhaps it is night there, but the night he imagines far away in the west is not evil but full of elven starlight and beech trees: things of beauty and not of fear and evil. It brings to mind that thought that Tolkien may have given to Gandalf (can’t look it up at the moment as I’m rather horizontally prone) that even darkness was not evil in the beginning. Or of Bombadil when he says that he walked in darkness before the shadow… a theme, a motif, if you will; the idea of a pure darkness before the Fall.

I am told that when studying poetic meter you have to scan it with specially marks that make you look either like you are Someone Really Smart or like an actor auditioning for A Beautiful Mind. You need a way to write the rhythm; da-dum da-dum da-dum da-dum (short/unstressed followed by long/stressed syllable) Or dum-da da-dum dum dum …well, you get the picture. So I’ve used x for my da snd / for my dum. Definitely makes you feel like a S.R.S. until you get it wrong and end up metaphorically knocking your head on the piano like that composer muppet in the 1980s Sesame Street, and yelling “I’ll never get it, never, never.” Sorry, digressing again…

Here goes my attempt at scansion and noting the rhyming pattern.

      x    /     x     /      x    /      x    /      x    /          x     /     x    /     II

A) In western lands beneath the Sun the flowers may rise in Spring,

      x      /       x      /      x    /    x    /      x    /    x   /    x   /    II

A) the trees may bud, the waters run, the merry finches sing.

B) Or there maybe 'tis cloudless night and swaying beeches bear

B) the Elven-stars as jewels white amid their branching hair.

C) Though here at journey's end I lie in darkness buried deep,

C) beyond all towers strong and high, beyond all mountains steep,

D) above all shadows rides the Sun and Stars for ever dwell:

D) I will not say the Day is done, nor bid the Stars farewell.

The poet only gives one line to his present predicament (though here at journey’s end…) and he chooses to focus on the things that are beyond the reach of the darkness. From the beginning of the second stanza he also starts with himself being at ‘journey’s end’ a reference to death and hopelessness of ever getting out. But by the fourth line, he says ‘I will not say the day is done, nor bid the stars farewell’: he resists and refuses to say the day is done, he refuses to say goodbye. He is resisting hopelessness and evil, darkness and death. His hopelessness, in other words, is short lived. It very much is a Sam poem. And of course, the only thing that can make Sam feel any hopelessness whatsoever is the loss of frodo.

[daichis-lilbuttercup]

Can’t withhold

tsukishima x female reader

note: Y’all I couldn’t get this thought out of my head and this got serious and depressing real quick. I also am gonna write a little tsukki One shot from the dream I had last night so stay tuned and check that out. I write a lot of other stuff so if you want to read more you can check out my page. I just can’t get the thought out of my head of tsukki and kids, it makes my heart smile. enjoy y’all. (fyi if my grammar is alittle ass I apologize😂)

h/l- hair length h/c-hair color e/c-eye color c/n-cousins name u/n-uncles name(what I personally call my cousins husband is uncle) 1/c/n-first born baby cousins name 2/b/n-second born baby cousins name 3/c/n-third born baby cousins name b/n-brothers name

Y/n’s Pov~

I just got here with the moving truck. It’s been kinda depressing since we moved from the US to here. I don’t really have friends here at all. I mean i’m going to be a first year at Karasuno high, so maybe then i’ll meet some new friends. I miss my cousins and the rest of my family. I moved here with my grandma, grandpa, and little brother. My family goes inside to check out the house, I already called the biggest room besides my grandparents room so I don’t really care to see yet. I get out the car and go to the truck to start getting stuff out when a woman and two boys come out of the house next door and come up to me.

“Hello, my name is Akiteru Tsukishima, this is my brother Kei and our mom,” Akiteru spoke.

“Call me Tuskishima,” the really tall boy spoke.

“My mom saw the moving truck and we wanted to see if you needed any help,” He have a big smile.

“Oh that’s really sweet of y’all, I’m Y/n by the way my grandparents are inside along with my little brother checking out the house, and I would really appreciate the help,” I giggled then remembered I needed to speak Japanese and repeated what I said.

“Oh cool so you are from the United states huh,” Akiteru asked.

“Oh, what gave me away,” I laughed and rubbed my neck awkwardly.

“Well it was pretty easy to pick out, seeing as you spoke english and had to repeat yourself in Japanese,” Tuskishma said rolling his eyes.

“Well who’s to say i’m not from a different english speaking country,” I said catching a bit of an attitude with him.

“The accent completely gives you away, you also are most likely from the south seeing as you said ‘y’all’, and no english speaking person from the United kingdom or Canada carry an accent like that,” He said matter of factly.

“Damn is my accent really that noticeable, I mean I never realily felt like I had much of one since it’s not as heavy as some other people where I lived,” I mumbled to myself, to which i got a ‘tsk’ from Kei.

“Well captain obvious thanks for the useless knowledge for free,” I shot back rolling my eyes.

“Ok ok you two let’s not be like that,” there mom said.

“Of course not,” I mumbled crossing my arms.

“Well let’s get to it then,” Akiteru spoke cheerfully.

I hop into the truck and pull down the little walk way. I go and grab a box that’s alittle heavy and I stumble alittle bit. Akiteru and mrs.Tsukishima are already getting some boxes and head inside.

“Here let me get that one,” Tsukishima smirked.

“Why, you think I can’t handle it,” I asked, my stubbornness shining like the sun.

“Well, you are rather small cupcake,” He snorted.

“Just because i’m 4’11 doesn’t mean i’m not strong enough to handle this wise ass,” I grumbled.

“And dont call me cupcake doofus,” I spoke, annoyed.

“Would you rather me call you vertically challenged, shortcake, midget, shorty, short stack, or how about pipsqueak,” He smirked.

“I’d rather you call me none of them,” I rolled my eyes.

“Hmm I like shorty and cupcake, those seem to be the ones that sum you up,” He gave me a grin.

“Asswhip, take that shit eating grin off your face and take the damn box,” I shoved it at him grabbing something else.

“And i’ll call you Tsukki since you want to give me stupid names at least i’ll be decent,” I spork walking off.

We all get everything out the big truck and go to get the stuff from the car. Me and Tsukishima are the only ones left grabbing stuff, everyone else is inside. Tsukki goes for my pillows in the back seat causing me to trip out.

“HEY don’t touch those,” I spoke rather loud with a hint of panic in my tone.

“Aww why, are they special,” He pokes out his bottom lip being sarcastic.

“Those were my mom and dads dickweed, when I say don’t fucking touch them I mean that shit,” I growled snatching them out of his hands, at this point I was fuming.

Tsukki’s eyes widen for a moment then go back to normal, not questioning me. He seemed a bit curious and confused, but there’s no way i’m telling that fuckwad anything. Me and Tsukki got everything out the car and went inside. He followed me inside and his mom offered us all over for dinner.

“No thanks i’ll pass, ya know I gotta do the thing and another thing,” I said turning around about to make a break for the stairs.

No way in hell was I about to deal with that wise ass for another minute. If I did i’d probably knock the piss out of him.

“Y/n don’t be silly come on,” My grandma break checked my ass before I got to the first step.

“God fucking damn it,” I mumbled under my breath.

“Yeah cupcake, don’t be silly,” Tsukki gave me a smile.

Fake ass, fucking shit for brains, wise ass fuckwad, stupid dick beat fuck face. Man this asshole is a piece of work. We all walked over to there house next door. My grandparents are in the kitchen with Mrs.Tsukishima helping cook. My little brother and Akiteru are playing video games while i’m stuck with wise ass sitting right next to me at the table. I try to keep my eyes on my phone, but I look next to me and see his glasses are crooked. Out of reflex I reach up and fix his glasses on his face. He looked at me alittle suprised and then that damn shit eating grin made its lovely appearance on his face.

“Why thank you cupcake,” He mocked.

“Wow since you said the name fit me so well, I must be short, gorgeous, and sweet,” I said batting my eyelashes with a smirk to throw him off.

“Oh of course you are cupcake, so mesmerizing and so sweet that you’ve addressed me using every cuss word in the dictionary,” he rolled his eyes.

“Well maybe i’d be a little angel if you weren’t such a sarcastic prick all the time,” I shot back.

“Sorry that my attitude isn’t tasteful to you,” he retorts.

“Well sweetheart I don’t think anyone would find your attitude tasteful, if daddy or any one in my family for that matter, ever caught me jappin at the jaws like that i’d get my damn teeth slapped out,” I stated.

“Well it’s a good thing we aren’t family then,” he mocked.

“Aww bless your heart baby, you wouldn’t survive a day around my family with a mouth like that,” I spoke in a sweet voice.

“Says the one who cusses like a sailor,” He snapped.

“I cuss like a sailor when I know nobody’s around to catch me,” I muse.

“Oh can it you two, you bicker like an old married couple,” Akiteru yelled.

“I want a divorce then,” I shouted back laughing.

“Oh you’d be lucky to ever have me,” Tsukki smirked.

“Oh really, baby boy you’d be lucky to get your hands on a sexy bombshell like me, I’ve got the whole package,” I started laughing at him.

“You may be cute, but that’s all you have going for you shorty,” he snorted.

“Aww so you do find me attractive, maybe that’s why you’re such a douche to me, you’re still in the I pick on you because I like you stage we all went through in Primary school,” I giggled standing up and rubbing my nose against his cheek.

“Oh you wish,” he crossed his arms looking away.

could have sworn I saw him blushing. I walked over to the boys playing video games swaying my hips as I walked just to be an ass. I sat down and started kicking there asses at injustice 2.

“Come on Y/n, you just came over here and wrecked us,” Akiteru said pouting.

“Well ya girl is damn good at video games,” I said laughing.

“Dinners ready,” my grandma shouted from the kitchen.

We all were eating when Mrs.Tsukishima started asking me questions.

“Well Y/n how old are you,” She asked me.

“Oh i’m 16,” I smiled.

“Oh you are the same age as Kei, your grandma told me you are going to Karasuno, i’m sure he can show you around, have you gotten your classes yet,” she asked.

“Oh yeah i’m in class 1-4 and i’m doing a few other things,” I smiled back at her.

“Oh wow you both will be in the same class you both can walk to school together too,” she giggled.

“Well isn’t that swell,” I showed a fake smile, being pretty good at it.

Well fuck me silly, not only do I have to live next to him, but now i’m stuck in the same class and have to walk to school with him. Good grief.

We all finished up and said our goodbyes. I hugged Akiteru, so did my little brother. I hugged Tsukki and pinched him, much to his annoyance. The adults decided that we should do this once a week switching between houses. Oh how lovely. That night it was hard to sleep I can’t get that cute moron out of my head.I also feel uneasy not sleeping in daddy’s room at our old house anymore, I miss home.

~Time skip~

Tsukishima’s Pov~

We are all on the court practicing. It’s been a month since Y/n moved here and I can’t get her out of my head. That stupid girl doesn’t leave my damn head. We all looked over as Kiyoko walks in smiling. Speak of the devil, Y/n walks in beside her.

“Well good afternoon princess,” I mocked.

“Well salutations jerk hole,” She fires back.

“Guys this is Y/n, She is going to be the new manager in training,” She spoke.

Everyone talked to her. Noya and Tanaka wouldn’t stop talking about how stunning she is, Hinata was jumping up and down asking her lots of questions, his highness didn’t say much, and the third years were seeming to get flustered around her. I got annoyed with it and stood next to Tadashi not bothering to say anything. Everyone was so excited to be around her. I heard a phone ringing and I looked up and Y/n’s caller id on her phone said momma.

“Hey I’ll be right back I gotta take this,” She spoke and walked out.

For some reason I got curious. If that is her mom where are her parents at, and why did she get so upset over those pillows. I followed after her outside and heard her on the phone. She had the phone on speaker, I remember her talking about how she prefers that over holding it to her ear. I heard the phone say this call is from a federal prison and I froze. If that is her mom, is she in jail? I watched her click the number and the person on the other line came in.

“Hi momma how are you,” She spoke.

you could hear the genuine happiness in her voice. It was nothing like the way she spoke with others. Is she that good at hiding her emotions with a smile and a sweet voice or is there something more to it? I kept listening. Y/n talked about her day and her mom talked about the new books she was reading. Y/n told her about the manager thing and about how it is to live here. Her mom asked her about how her signings going. I’ve never heard her sing before.It was a little difficult to make out what she was saying since she was speaking in english, but I could just barley put the pieces together.

“Momma I’ve been drawing lately and I drew some pictures of me, you, and daddy,” She spoke sounding kinda sad.

“I also am gonna send you some pictures too,”She began again.

“what’s wrong angel, you sound like somethings buggin you,” Her mom asked.

“It’s fine momma, I just miss home and daddy’s birthday is coming up, and I just miss my family and being back home,” She let out a heavy sigh.

“I miss you, my friends and just feeling like i’m home, it’s really nice here, but I just can’t shake that ache in me, I think my depression is starting to bubble back up alittle,” She spoke her voice cracking a bit.

“I don’t wanna bother people with my problems, so I just try and put on my biggest smile and hope for the best,” She mumbled.

“I know it’s a lot baby and I miss you and Y/b/n more than ever, and i’ll be out before you know it. You’ve always been so strong and spirited, even now I can hear that bright fire burning in your heart and soul. I can’t see your face, but when I hear your voice, it’s like your soul is with me. It feels like you are standing right next to me. I know it’s hard, but keep staying strong,” Her mom spoke genuinely.

“I know momma, but i’ve had to be strong for so long when does it ever stop, when will my heart ever catch a break,” Her voice was cracking and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes.

“I wanna go home, I wish I could just go back in time. I wanna be back in y’alls room laying in bed between you and daddy watching movies together. I want that happiness I felt. I can remember it like it’s happening now. I can still remember how the room smelled like you and daddy and hear how when the both of you would talk it was like the energy in your souls filled the room. It felt so warm, yet so powerful. I felt safe and like the entire world was at peace, like life couldn’t get any better. I felt so much love and happiness it ment everything to me,” She was crying at this point.

“You have one minute remaining,” the call cut in.

“I know angel, you just have to keep holding on. Everything’s going to be alright. Here, write me a letter and we can talk more about it. The calls about to hang up. I love you angel and i’ll call you tomorrow,” Her mom spoke softly.

“Ok, I love you too momma. Talk to you tomorrow,” She spoke wiping her tears.

After that the call hung up. I felt my heart break seeing her cry and talk like that. I’ve never wanted more in my life than to just go over there and hold onto her. Why am I feeling like this, and now I have even more questions. Like i’m wondering, where’s her father, and why is her mom in jail? I look up to see Y/n still wiping her tear stained cheeks. She fixed herself up the best possible and started walking this way. I made a break for a place to hide. I watched Y/n walk back in the gym and I can hear Hinata yelling something. I walked back in holding a snack from one of the snack machines acting like I didn’t just eavesdrop on her. I sorta feel like an asshole talking to her the way I do.I had no clue she’s been suffering like that. I could have never imagined someone as sweet as she is to be carrying so much weight on her shoulders. It’s astonishing how well she hides it. my feelings are all mixed right now. I want to know everything about her. I wish I could just lift all that weight off of her.

“Day dreaming are we,” Y/n spoke standing next to me snapping me back to reality.

“Oh I apologize did you need something,” I asked her sarcastically.

“Well I was going to ask if you could come over and help me study, but if you wanna be a smart ass then never mind,” She mumbled.

“Wait, of course cupcake I would love to help make you less dumb,” I gave her a smirk.

“Well alright then,” She snorted.

After practice me and Y/n walked to her house and went inside. Her family texted her that they went out to eat and that they’ll bring her something back in a little while. We went upstairs into her room and got our books out and started studying notes. Y/n got up to use the bathroom and I got up to look around her room. I see a picture fram on her dresser and take a closer look. The frame says daddy’s girl on it and a picture of a young man in his early twenties probably around 22 was holding a little girl with h/l h/c hair and e/c eyes. This is Y/n and her dad. This can give me an excuse to ask her some questions. Y/n walked back in the room and I was standing there holding the picture fram. She ran up to me to take the picture frame from me.

“Hey man give it to me,” She spoke jumping up trying to reach.

“Is this your dad,” I asked her already knowing the answer.

“Yes bafoon now give it to me,” She whined.

I didn’t realize what she was doing till she ran away from me then ran back and tackled me. We both fell on the ground her on top of me, snatching it from me. I look up at her and i’m stunned. She looked so beautiful it was hard not to stare. I almost forgot to ask her the question I really wanted to know. She looked down at me and her face turned red, realizing she was straddling me. Y/n crawled off of me and put the frame back on her dresser. I got up and stood next to her.

“Y/n where is your dad?” I asked her softly not trying to startle her with the question

I watched her bite her lip and look down and stare at the floor for alittle bit. I gently put my hand under her chin and tilted her head up to look at me. We both locked eyes and stayed like that for what felt like forever. She looked like she was about to break down.

“He died in a accident in the house when I was 10,” She spoke softly.

“How old was he,” I asked stunned by her reply.

“he was 28,” Her voice cracked.

“Oh my god, i’m sorry Y/n,” I said placing my hand on her back rubbing it gently.

Next thing I knew she had her face bared in my chest. She let out a sob that made my heart feel like it was cracking. I had to come clean about hearing her talk to her mom earlier.

“Y/n I heard you on the phone with your mom today. If you ever wanna talk about anything i’m always here. I may not be the most ideal person in the world, but i’m still right here when you need me,” I tried to soothing her.

I picked her up and layed her on the bed pulling her close to me. When she stopped crying she told me everything. I never knew someone could suffer like that and still be able to walk around and appear so happy. When she fell asleep, I placed her under the covers and tucked her in. Staring at her sleeping form, I couldn’t help but lean down and kiss her cheek before grabbing my things and leaving.

~time skip~

Y/n’s Pov~

We were all in the gym while the guys were practicing hard for a upcoming practice game. I was amazed at how well they were doing. I watched Tsukki intently, i’d be lying if I said I hadn’t caught feelings for the four eyed blonde. I heard some commotion outside and decided to look over and I saw people walk in. I couldn’t control my legs when I bursted into a full on sprint when I saw them. It was my cousin, her husband and my three little cousins. The oldest he’s only a toddler about three years old the second she’s two and the baby he was just born. I ran and jumped on my cousin and gave her a hug.

“Bish why you cryin,” C/n laughed.

I felt my face was wet, but I just ignored it. I picked up 1/c/n and spun him around causing him to start laughing really loud. I also picked up 2/c/n and put her along with 1/c/n on both my hips. I was just so happy. I gave u/n a big smile and he just laughed at me.

“Oh my god C/n what are you guys all doing here?” I asked with a grin.

“Someone mentioned to us that you were feeling homesick and we decided we’d come stay with y’all for a month,” She laughed at me.

“Bitch you know i’d never let your ass be upset,” She snorted.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to see Tsukki smiling down at me.

“Tsukki, but how did you-,” I was cut off by him.

“Your phone wasn’t unlocked that night you feel asleep and I decided to do alittle digging,” He smiles at me genuinely, and looked down at the babies in my arms.

I sat the kids down, turned around and hugged him. By now the entire team was standing over here with us. Hinata, Suga, Daichi, and Asahi were on the floor playing with 1/c/n and 2/c/n while Kiyoko was holding 3/c/n she was rocking him in her arms. Takeda and couch Ukai we’re talking to u/n. I stayed in the hug with Tsukki for as long as I could without him getting irritated.

“Alright alright no need to get all mushy gushy cupcake,” Tsukki spork in his usual tone.

Aaaaaand Tsukki’s back. We all hung out like this for alittle longer till we all went home.I texted Tsukki when I got in bed thanking him a hundred times over before I went to sleep.

~time skip~

It’s been a week since C/n and them got here and it’s finally the weekend again. The family is going out for the night while I watch the babies.Im in the living room with them watching bubble guppies when I decided to text Tsukki and ask him to come over. Me and Tsukki are chilling in the living room when I decided to play video games. I sat on the floor while Tsukki was on the couch. 3/c/n was already asleep in the crib. I start playing PvZ garden warfare when 1/c/n came and sat in my lap while I played. It didn’t take long for. 1/c/n to fall asleep against my chest. I picked him up and put him to bed. When I walked back in the living room I see Tsukki playing with 2/c/n she was giggling loudly. Tsukki was on his back on the floor with her in his arms in the air. I felt my heart melt watching it. I pulled out my phone and snapped a few pictures and a video before walking into view of him. me and Tsukki both sit on the couch while 2/c/n is playing on the floor. I lean my head against Tsukki’s side watching her. I felt an arm wrap around my waist and I look up and lock eyes with Tsukki. We both stare at eachother and neither of us noticed that we were both leaning in. We both locked lips and my eyes fluttered shut. The kiss was loving and full of passion. after a good six minutes we both pulled apart leaning our foreheads together. After that Tukki layed back on the couch, and so crwled between his legs and layed down holding 2/c/n in my arms.We were watching a movie and all of us fell asleep.

No One’s Pov~

C/n and everyone else walked in the house to find the three snuggled up on the couch fast asleep. Tsukki was holding Y/n and Y/n was holding 2/c/n. C/n took a bunch of pictures before picking up 2/c/n and putting her in bed. She got more pictures of Tsukki and Y/n before putting some blankets over them and going to bed. Not before hsvjng one thought in her head.

Those two are gonna be so happy together~

[ms-rampage]

Eden’s Gate: Aftermath Chapter 2 - Have Faith

Warnings: Some swearing

Word count: 2k

This is a short follow up series to Kidnapped leading up to the nuclear holcaust, and the beginning of New Dawn. 

Summary: The Winchester family struggle to have Faith Seed (Rachel) open up to them about Joseph’s whereabouts. Faith finds out about Kate’s pregnancy with John’s child. 

Guest OCs: Barbra Teller (FC: Katey Segal), Sheriff Adrian Hayward (FC: Ryan Hurst), Deputy Bianca Bryant (FC: Maggie Siff), Deputy Becky Taylor (FC: Taissa Farminga, Deputy Ashley Saunders (FC: Chloe Grace Mortez).

Guest Characters: Sam and Dean Winchester [mentioned], Deputy Staci Pratt, Deputy Joey Hudson, Sheriff Earl Whitehorse. 

*******************************************************

The Winchester family have spent the last few days trying to get Rachel to tell them the whereabouts of Joseph Seed, but have succeeded at nothing. Paige had a few suggestions that were a bit. Inhuman. Dark for that matter.

“I told you, if we did it my way. We would’ve gotten his whereabouts by now” Paige tells Kate in an “I told you so” type of manner.

“Paige, seriously that isn’t helping!!” Kate yells at her older sister.

 “Yeah I know, because if we did it my way. Rachel would’ve told us a long time ago!!” she says.

Kate sighs loudly, “Okay Paige, first of all, your way of getting Faith”

“Rachel!!”

“To talk isn’t going to help us. You’re talking about torturing the poor girl”

Paige rolls her eyes, “How is it torture!?!?. It’s not torture. Dean would have agreed.”

Kate scoffs, “Locking her in her room, not feeding her, and not letting her get any sun light is a form of torture. We’re not doing that!!!!. FYI Dean would have not agreed neither would Sam”. 

She groans, rolling her eyes. “Fine. Whatever. Do it your way”, and she goes outside to the backyard.

Kate rolls her eyes, and goes upstairs to the 3rd floor to Faith’s room. She sees that her bedroom door is open a little. She knocks lightly on it.

“Faith. You okay?” she asks, pushing the door slightly open. 

“Hey” she says to her, slowly stepping into the room.

“Hi” she says, looking back at her, then turning back to her window. 

“Are you hungry? Thirsty?. You’ve been in your room all day” she says to her. Cautiously approaching her.

“I know she doesn’t trust me” Faith says, with her back to Kate. 

Eyebrows furrowed “Who? Paige?”.

She turns around to face her.

“Yes, and I don’t blame her. Because of what Joseph did to me” she says, her voice starting to tremble.

Kate clears her throat, “Yeah, that’s pretty much why I came up here. Do you know where Joseph would be?”.

She shakes her, “No. Other than his church. Nowhere else”.

She nods, “Okay, umm. Or if you could guess. Where do you think Joseph would go?!” she asks again.

Faith looks down at the floor, “Take your time” Kate says. 

“You’re carrying” she says softly, her eyes on Kate’s stomach. 

Her eyebrows raise, “What’s that?!?”. 

“It’s John’s? Isn’t it?” she asks, her voice soft.

Kate feels herself go pale. No one else knows about her pregnancy. Only her and Wheaty know. 

“Umm, what-what are you t-talking about?!?” she stammers.

“You’re pregnant” she says.

Kate looks back into the hallway, then back at Faith.

“How did you know?!?” she asks, whispering.

“I can feel the energy. The growth” she says. 

Her eyes widened, her voice trembling. “Yes. Yeah it’s-it's John’s” she says, her voice showing that she’s ashamed that she's carrying the spawn of a Seed.

“It’s a girl” she says, like she’s 100% sure of it.

“How do you know?!?” she asks, thinking Rachel/Faith is bullshitting her. 

“Paige is having 3” she adds, throwing her off.

“3?!? Like triplets?!?” she questions her.

Faith nods, with a smile “Yes. Yes”

Kate places her hand on her stomach, her eyes wide. Trying to keep her breathing steady.

“For Joseph. He would be at his church. If not then he would be at Teller Ranch in the Whitetails, or at his statue” she tells her, swaying her hips as if she was about to start spinning in a circle.

“Okay. Thanks” she says, nodding her head, and leaves her room. Closing the door halfways. She goes downstairs, and tells Paige the new lead.

“Hey, I got some news” she tells her. 

“Yeah same here. Mom and I are going to the jail” Paige says to her.

“For what?!?” she asks, confused.

“To track down Joseph, and also I need to talk to the deputies there” she says.

“Okay, so get this Faith told me where we can find Joseph” she tells her.

“Her name is Rachel, but okay where would we find him?!?”.

“She told me, one of the few places we can find him is either his statue”.

“He wasn’t there when we went” Paige says.

“And the other location is the Teller Ranch”

She looks at her confused, “Teller Ranch?? Where the fuck is that?!”

Kate shrugs, “Apparently it’s in the Whitetail Mountains”.

Paige shakes her head, “I’ve never heard, or seen it. But it's a lead. So I’m gonna go to the jail, and talk with the deputies, and maybe the Sheriff". 

“See I told you Rachel would come around. All you needed was to have a little faith. Pun intended.” Kate says, hitting her shoulder. Paige rolls her eyes in annoyance, and the cleverness of that pun. Her, and Mandy leave to the Hope County jail.

*****************

They arrive at the jail, they park the car, and walk inside the station. Approaching the front desk where Deputies Ashley Saunders, and Becky Taylor are at.

“Deputy Saunders, Deputy Taylor” Paige greets them.

“Paige Winchester. Mandy Winchester” Saunders greets them, “How can I help you today?!”.

“I need to speak with Deputies Bryant, Pratt, Hudson and/ or Ross. Are they in?” Paige asks.

She gives them a visitor's pass, pushes a button to open a door.

“Through there, down the hall and to the right” she instructs them. 

“Thank you Dep-you-tee” she imitates John Seed’s voice.

“Don’t say it like that!!!” Deputy Saunders exclaims, rolling her eyes, and making Deputy Taylor laugh.

They walk through the door, and down the hallway.

“So what do you have to talk about with the deputies?!” Mandy asks.

Paige sighs, “I need to talk to them about the whereabouts of Joseph Seed”.

“I thought Kate already told you about his whereabouts?!?” she asks.

“Yeah but she got that information from Rachel, and I don’t believe nor do I trust her” she says.

They turn a corner, and run into Deputies Bianca Bryant, and Joey Hudson.

“Paige. Mandy great to see you. What are you two doing here?!” Deputy Bryant asks.

“I was just wondering if you guys have any information on the whereabouts of Joseph Seed?!” Paige asks.

They look at each other, “Unfortunately we don’t. But either Sheriff Whitehorse or Sheriff Hayward might have that information.” Deputy Hudson says.

“Where are they?!” Mandy asks.

Deputy Bryant points down the hallway, “The 3rd door on the right”.

“Thanks Dep-you-tees” she imitates John’s voice again.

Hudson glares at her, “Not cool Winchester. Not cool!”. 

They walk down the hallway, and knock on the door to the Sheriff's office. 

“Come in” Sheriff Whitehorse, muffled voice says.

They enter the room, and see both Sheriff Whitehorse, and Hayward working on some paperwork. 

“Winchester family!. How can I help you?!’ Whitehorse asks. Paige and Mandy take a seat in front of his desk. 

“I was wondering if you guys have any information about, Joseph Seed’s whereabouts?!” Paige, and Whitehorse say the last part at the same time. 

“Yeah, we have that information. But unfortunately we can’t distribute it to the public” he says.

“Why not?!” Paige asks.

“Because it’s police business” Hayward says.

Feeling irritated, frustration growing. 

“Did you know that Jacob Seed had me prisoner for almost 3 months?!” she snaps.

Whitehorse sighs, “Yes, we know that but-”

Paige cuts him off. 

“And did you know that I killed Jacob?. Kate killed John?, and the only person that can stop Joseph Seed is me!!” she says, “I can put an end to him, and the Cult. Free Hope County, and everything will go back to normal”.

She looks at both Sheriff’s, Mandy looks at her daughter and then to the two Sheriffs. 

“All I need is that information, and I’ll be on my way” she adds, softening her voice. 

Both Sheriff's look back and forth at each other, and at both Winchesters. 

“I’m sorry Paige, I know you want to help and put an end to the Cult. But I can’t give a civilian that information” Whitehorse says. 

Mandy clears her throat, and stands up from he chair, “Well thank you for your time Sheriff’s. Come on Paige lets go”. 

She resists, “No, no wait, wait. I can help the Hope County PD, I can help everyone living here. All I want is where Joseph Seed is at. That’s all I want”.

“He told you already. He’s not giving you that information” Hayward says.

“Paige come on” Mandy says, pulling her out of the room, and closing the door.

“Damn it!!!’ Paige mutters in frustration. 

“Just use the information Kate gave you” she tells her.

“Looks like I’m gonna have to” she says.

"Joseph would obviously be at his church. Where else would he go?" Mandy says. 

They walk down the hallway, past the front desk. 

Where Deputies Saunders, Taylor, Hudson, Bryant and Pratt are.

“Did you get the information?!?” Bryant asks Paige.

“Nope. Because I’m a civilian, and I am the only one who can stop Joseph” she says, “I’ll figure something out. I always do, I just gotta work with the information I have".

"We believe in you Winchesters!" Deputy Pratt praises them, "And Paige, thank you for getting rid of Jacob".

She smiles a bit, "Yeah too me. Well see you later Dep-”

“Don’t say it!!!” Saunders yells out.

“Dep-you-tees” she imitates John’s voice once again, and power walks out the jail with a smirk on her face, while they boo her, and exaggerate their loud groans of annoyance. 

“So now what?!” Mandy asks, shrugging.

“Work with what we got” she says, as they get into the car. 

***********

Back at the Winchester-Smith compound. 

“No, no I get it” Kate says on the phone, “Yeah, Yeah. I will tell her. Okay. Alright awesome thanks Barbara. See you soon”. 

She hangs up her phone.

“Who was that?” Mark asks her.

“Oh just an old friend. She’s gonna come by in half an hour” she says. 

Mark furrows his eyebrows, “Who?” he asks suspiciously. 

“You’ll see when she gets here!!!” she says, singfully as she walks outside to the backyard. 

*******

10 minutes later.

Paige and Mandy arrive home. 

“Hey how was it?!” Kate asks Paige.

“Fucking shitty thats how it was” she responds, and goes into the fridge to grab a beer. 

“Why? What happened?!?” she asks.

“Whitehorse wouldn’t give us the information” Mandy says. 

Kate scoffs, placing her hands on her hips, “Did you give him one of your famous lectures?!?”.

“Yep, didn’t work. So we’re gonna work with what we got” Paige says.

Kate sighs, “Okay well I got some news while you were gone”.

“About what?! Mandy asks.

“You’ll see when she gets here. In half an hour” she says.

“Who’s coming over?!?” Paige asks.

“She won’t tell. I asked her already” Mark says from the living room.

“Okay fine. We’ll wait for this mystery woman” Paige says. 

********

20 minutes later

A black SUV pulls into the property

Kate looks out the living room window, and sees her old family friend.

“Mom, Paige she’s here!!!” she yells out.

Faith hears her call out, and looks out her bedroom window. Sees an older woman step out of the vehicle. 

Paige looks out the kitchen window, and sees her.

“Holy fucking shit!!” she exclaims.

She runs to the front door, opens it and goes outside. 

“Barbara Teller holy shit!!” she says, going to hug her.

“Paige Hannah Winchester, I haven't seen you in, 5 years? Maybe.” she says, hugging her. 

Mandy steps out, and sees her old friend.

“Barbara?!” she says, in shock.

“Mandeline Campbell” Barbara replies back. 

“Holy shit. How are you?!?” she says, hugging her.

“I’m doing good. Killed a few shapeshifters crossing the Montana, Idaho state line but other than that I’m doing good”.

They all go inside the house, and catch up. Bringing her up to date with everything in their lives. 

“So what have you been up to?!” Paige asks her, "How's Twin Falls, Idaho?". 

“Hunting. Trying to keep myself alive. The usual hunter stuff. I have my property, bunker. Left it to the kids" she says, before taking a sip of her beer.

Faith slowly comes down the stairs, peeking around a corner, and sees everyone sitting in the living room.

Barbara sees her, “Who’s that?!” she asks.

They all look back, and see Faith. 

“That’s Rachel” Paige says.

Kate gets up from her seat, and guides her into the living room.

“Rachel, this is Barbara. Barbara this is Rachel” Kate introduces them.

“Hi” she says with a slight wave.

“Nice to meet you Rachel” she says, “Is she one of your friends?!. Adopted sister?!”.

“She’s from, or was a part of that Cult we were telling you about” Paige says. 

“So you’re a traitor?! I’m just taking a guess!” Barbara asks her. 

“Yeah” she answers, nodding her head. 

“Well, under the Winchesters roof. I guarantee you’ll be safe with them” she says, “I’ve always had faith in them”.

Kate clears her throat. 

“Okay. Just to make sure you’re all caught up with everything” Kate says to Rachel. 

“Mandy is my mom, Paige is my older sister, Kenny is my brother in law, Barbara is an old friend, she’s like a godmother to Paige and I. Cody, Adrian, Martin, Mark and Nate are our longtime friends, and something to keep in mind Mark, and Nate are brothers. Cristina is Paige and Kenny’s daughter she’s 8 months old, and also Martin is English not Irish or Australian. Kenny is Canadian”.

She exaggerates an exhale, “You think you can remember all that?!”. Rachel nods her head, a slight smile appears, “I’m sure I can”.

[rirah1writes]

Chapter Four: A Man Named Eddie Brock.

A/N: Hey ya’ll! I worked hard on this chapter, and I hope it shows. LOTS of angst and in this chapter, but towards the end I threw in that plot! Anyways, I hope ya’ll enjoy it and always feel free to contact me with suggestions, or anything you guys would like to see in future chapters. Also, hoping that I can stay true to the comics, and I'm building towards that, future chapter will have lots of plot and lots of nsfw content (just FYI) Love ya’ll, please stay safe!

Warnings: Smut, heavy ANGST (I.e. mentions of death, arguments) some swearing..that’s pretty much it.

Summary: Peter and y/n have some sloppy morning sex, Aunt May gives the best advice, and shit goes down at Stark Tower. 

Read chapter three here

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Heavy sleep hazed over you. You could feel cold air nipping at your toes so you drew your legs closer to your chest, unintentionally kneeing another living being in your bed. You shot backwards covering yourself, heart pounding. The covers flew back revealing peters tired (and now hurt) face. His curls were matted to his forehead, eyes sleepy and heavy. His skin sported red lines from sleep, and now he was studying you.

You looked frightened, chest rising and falling, not seeming to completely understand yet your surroundings. Your hair was wild, half tied into a falling bun, and you legs were curled underneath you, ready to push off the bed and run. Peters eyes shuffled over you, wondering what made you so jumpy.

Shouldn’t she feel safe next to me?

“It’s okay hon, c’mere.” His voice was soft and inviting. You fell back against the mattress, breathing out deeply. Peter could hear you’re heart hammering, like knocking on wood to his trained ears. He placed a hand over your chest which you took into your own, bringing it up to kiss his fingers individually, meeting his eyes and offering a small smile. Peter wanted to ask if you were okay, but he needed to know what had changed in you that caused such nervous behavior. 

But you’ve been gone for a long time.

 Is that even my business anymore?

Peters eyes scrunched at the thought and his brow furrowed harshly. You could see his troubled expression and turned to your side, sliding your hand up his cheek and meeting those warm eyes.

“Peter, what’s the matter?” You inquired. He shook his head softly finding your eyes, knowing your inability to hide from him, to hold anything back when he looked in them deeply. Something had changed in you since he had left, and he expected things to be different. But not like this. Seeing you frightened, and jumping away from him merited worry within him, and he had to know. “What happened while I was away?” Your became small curling down, and Peter knew immediately by your expression that something had happened. He hoped that you wouldn’t get angry with him for needing to know, but his heart couldn’t help but feel as if he had failed to protect you. 

And yet, here you were cowered into your pillow, hands drawn closely to your face, refusing to let anything slip. “Y/n, please...You jump away from me like I’m going to kill you, you flinch in your sleep when I touch you. If something happened I just need to know so that I can help you.” His voice was earnest and caring. His fingers gently lifted your chin to face his eyes, and you studied his face. Honest intentions and love was all that could be found. “When you left, something happened, and I had to start seeing a doctor. He diagnosed me with Anxiety...” Peter’s eyebrows raised as you trailed off. “Oh and also Major Depression.” You finished, gnawing at your nails. Peter carefully grabbed your hand away from your face, kissing your fingers. “Can you tell me what happened...Is that my fault?”

Yes. Yes it is. 

“No, of course its not your fault.” you stated, your fingers tracing his lips. “And I don’t think I’m ready to discuss it just yet.” You hoped that your words weren’t too sharp, that Peter wouldn’t be able to feel the resentment you still held. Many talks with your counselor had proven that it was easy to forgive Peter when he was long gone, and never coming back. But here he was, directly in front of you, and there was a face to the name that had marred your lips for the past year. 

Can I really move past this?

You knew that Destiney’s answer would be ‘Fuck no.’ So your mind wandered to your parents, what might they have said? You couldn’t gauge, they had been deceased for such a long time, you’d have no way of knowing. You were pretty sure your counselors answer would be something along the lines of... “In order to be able to forgive him, you need to let him first know what he did wrong.”

You snorted internally to yourself. It wasn’t time. And even when it was, it had to be done in a gentle way, a way that Peter could mourn as well, because it was his child, after all. It would need to be done with no animosity, no hurt feelings. Just support and love. Peter’s hands traced over your shoulders and down your arms, sending shivers over your body. “You’re so beautiful...but you look so different.” He didn’t meet your eyes, focus only trained on your body, as if he was just having a conversation with himself. 

“Yeah I’ve lost weight...” your voice cracked. You were embarrassed. You used to have beautiful curves, but after becoming severely depressed you had gotten down to one meal a day. Destiney called you every day to threaten getting on the first plane to New York if you didn’t start eating again. You had improved a lot over the last few months, but your struggles weren’t lost by you. “Destiney got me back on...somewhat of an eating schedule. I’m doing much better. I kind of just lost myself after...you left...” You trailed off, noticing Peter’s sad expression, he lifted his head to meet you. “Well, I’m here now. And I’m going to stuff you full as a tick.” He winked as you laughed at the expression he had stolen from you. Something your grandmother used to say. 

“Okay then, I won’t complain about that.” your eyes sparkled up at peter as his smile warmed your chest, he rolled over on top of you, warm skin blanketing you, making you feel protected. “You won’t complain about this either...” He breathed into your ear, lightly nibbling at your earlobe. You didn’t realize how ready you were for him until Peter slipped inside of you, drawing out a soft moan. The morning sun was just peeking through the curtains, and you felt safe in his arms as he caressed, and lazily kissed you, movements slow and relaxed as he savored you. And that’s how the rest of your first morning with Peter was spent, your breathless moans mingling in the air along with Peter’s soft grunts, sloppy kisses, and a lazy cleanup afterwards, followed with the pair of you tangling up, and once again falling into a peaceful sleep. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You stirred again for the second time that day with peter breathing gently next to you. The sun seemed to be well into the sky now. You studied Peter as he slept and felt a giddy smile cross your face. His eyes were soft, his lips slightly parted as he snored lightly. You smirked as you untangled yourself from his arms and checked your phone, finding you had slept until eleven.

That’s what good sex will do to you.

You laughed to yourself, unable to shake your airy feeling as you slipped out of bed and threw on peters tee that was strewn over the floor with the rest of your clothes. You crept downstairs, making coffee as your phone buzzed. It was MJ.

Well that good mood didn’t last long.

A realization came to you as you stared at the picture of her smiling and hugging you around the neck from behind: Your friends knew about Peter, and lied to you. A small pit gathered in your throat as you clicked the ignore button and slammed your phone back down, running your hands through your hair.

You heard Peter clambering down the stairs, you shook your nerves pulling the cream out of the fridge and continuing to make a cup for yourself and Peter. “Still take your coffee black? No sugar, right?” Peter nodded but his look was more concerned. “What’s wrong hon?” You rolled your neck out, forcing a half smile. “Fine. MJ just called me.” He looked confused. “Did you talk to her?” You shook your head. “Nope. And I don’t really want to either.” Peter nodded slowly, deciding not to push you on the topic, but you needed to rant anyways. “I just think it’s funny she knew where you were at and didn’t say a thing to me. Especially after what I went through, she could have told you...or me... it’s whatever.” You trailed off sipping your coffee and meeting his eyes over the brim of your mug. You could feel the yearning to let your hurt and anger out to Peter building up but you kept reminding yourself, it’s not the right time.

“Tell me what..?” Peter’s curious look was making it difficult to hide your own pain. “Ugh..we have a lot to discuss...but let’s start with you. What’s going on Peter? I still don’t know exactly why you had to leave.” His expression was hard but he sat next to you at the bar, and held your hand. “I just want to start by saying that I’m sorry I left you...I never wanted to...I always made sure you were safe. Tony’s been having people watch out for you, so you were never in any danger. But, Nick Fury got word about a major corporation in San Francisco that's been harboring illegal alien life forms.” You blinked at Peter and he sighed. “This sounds fucking nuts, I know.” He ran his hands through his hair and sat back in his chair. “Yeah it does but I’m listening so go ahead.” You still struggled to process all of this information but continued to power through as Peter explained a symbiotic life form attempting to merge with him, and soon after running loose in accompany with three more and murdering several people across the United States, including New York.

You sat back and slowly nodded. “Right here in New York...” you bit at your nails softly and glared at Peter. “Yes. And the rest of the avengers have been running around here like crazy trying to contain it. It uses the victims body, like a host, for a short amount of time, and when it feeds off of them to the point they can’t go on, it abandons them to find a new host. Leaving them dead, or in critical condition. The one here in New York, that’s still on the loose, seems to be more...violent in its actions. But my focus was to go to San Fran to find the source and attempt to capture one, well only one of two that still survived anyways.  But Tony ended up doing that in one week...so...” Peter sat back as he grumbled his last sentence. “Why couldn’t you tell me this?” You shook your head at him. “Because I knew you’d want to go with me to San Francisco and I couldn’t put you in danger or impede on your life. You’re so busy with school I knew you’d graduate this year, and it’s so important to me that you reach your goals, I couldn’t uproot you like that, and put you in harms way.” Trying to be understanding was hard, but you knew peters intentions were good. You had been working hard to graduate, and work for homeland security, your dream. You couldn’t imagine peter would do anything to jeopardize your career or your safety. But there was still a couple of things you needed him to address.

“And as for MJ, May, Ned, the rest of our friends? They know, don’t they?” Peter nodded with shame. “All of them.” He stated, your suspicions confirmed. “And they ALL lied to me.” Your lips puffed in anger as you crossed your arms. “They never wanted to, especially May...” you sat up straight, meeting peters eyes. “Well at least May invited me over, and cared for me. No one else ever came to see me, matter of fact, they avoided me.” Peter breathed deeply. “Because I asked them to.” Your stare was ice, penetrating peters heart.

Now you’ve done it.

“And I need you to know why...if they saw you like that they would have told you everything. I couldn’t have that happen, y/n it’s dangerous!” You slid off of your barstool, storming up the stairs into your bedroom, ripping off peters tee shirt and pulling on a towel. His eyes followed you. “Y/n please say something to me...” his voice was sad and needy, but your anger trumped everything he could feel. Your head was getting hot, anger bubbling over, clouding your judgment, you no longer cared about your actions. You stormed over to your night side table, ripping open the drawer you took out the small piece of paper he had left you, his eyes were shocked. “You left me with this. Just this. You had me watched, compliments of the philanthropist playboy-billionaire Tony stark. And I couldn’t know a thing about you. But what you don’t know? Is that I was pregnant with your child when you left me. And sad to say, I lost it right on that bathroom floor. So don’t talk to me about ‘dangerous’ because for a while, I was a danger to myself. And you weren’t there.”

You cut your words short due to the tears in your throat, slamming down the letter on the nightstand, and turning to go shower. “Sonograms in the fucking drawer next to our picture, if you wanted to see it, babe. Congrats.” You jarred shut the bathroom door with a loud thud, leaving Peter standing with tears welled in his eyes. He couldn’t say a word. His breath was caught in his throat as tears involuntary slid down his cheeks. He walked over to the nightstand and pulled the drawer open fully, revealing the picture of you and him at his internship graduation, right before he became an actual Avenger. He softly picked up the folded envelope next to it that had written in your curly handwriting “Baby Parker.” Opening it up, he withdrew a tiny print out of a black and white depiction, a tinsy little squiggle with an arrow pointing at it stated “baby.” He put the photo back in the envelope and folded it into his pocked, sniffing hard.

You shuddered as you heard the front door slam downstairs. Peter was gone. Maybe he’d walk out of your life for good this time. A part of your heart hurt for him, imagining the shock and pain he was enduring, you desperately wanted to hold him or comfort him. “I didn’t have him to comfort me, and I survived.” You spoke aloud to yourself, as if it would convince you that he would be okay too.

So much for gentle and loving.

You washed your thoughts away, letting the steam consume you.

—————————————————————————

Peter padded harshly along the sidewalk towards May’s apartment. Tears stained his face and he hoped that no one noticed as he passed them. Bounding up the stairs and fumbling with the door, Peter burst through and slammed it shut behind him. Head resting on the frame, as his hands traveled through his hair.

I shouldn’t have left her like this...

“Peter..?” Mays soft voice beckoned his attention, he turned around to meet her eyes. Her face settled with understanding. “So you know.” She stated, shifting her feet. “May it’s all my fault.” Peters voice cracked as his tears fell, he carried himself over to the kitchen table and fell hard into a chair as May’s arms wrapped around him, gently comforting him as she had done for you many nights. “You can’t blame yourself, Pete. Sometimes it happens to women.” Peter pulled slowly away from her embrace and his bleary eyes gazed up at her, he was slowly shaking his head. “But maybe if I didn’t go...” May shook her head and put a finger to his lips. “Uhh-uh, hush. You did what you needed to do, and y/n was taken care of, she had Destiney and she had me. What’s done is done, you can’t sit and hone on it. Mourne if you need to, but most of all, you need to talk to her about it.” Peter laughed despite everything else. “Talk to her? She doesn’t even want to look at me May?” May chuckled.

“That’s not true Peter, you were over there all night. Everything is new to her, and for you too. You both need time to communicate and discuss what happened.” May nodded her head at Peter encouragingly. He wiped his face clean with his hands. “Okay.” He stated simply. Peter grabbed his phone to shoot you a quick text apologizing for leaving, and to see if you’d be okay to talk later.

Pulling out the envelope his fingers traced over the little squiggle in the photo. “I was a dad, May. I didn’t even know it. Why didn’t you call me? I would have came back?” Peter looked up at may with a hurt expression, and her own features hardened. “For the same reason you didn’t tell her you’d left, Pete. It would stop you from doing what you needed to do.” Although Peter was hurt he understood why May had hidden it from him. It became clear to him everyone had something to hide from one another, not just him from you.

His phone buzzed and he hastily picked it up, sad to see Tony’s name instead of yours. He slid to answer the call and Tony’s frantic voice bleared through the speakers before he could even give a proper greeting. “Kid you gotta make it over here, ASAP!” Tony continued bellowing on so Peter hung up the phone. “May I gotta go.” Peter let out a frustrated grumble as he hugged his aunt quickly, activating his suit. Slipping out of the window, he raced towards Stark Tower.

________________________________________________________________

Needless to say, what Peter stumbled upon his arrival was a mess. Furniture was knocked over everywhere, Tony was in full suit, arm raised towards a large glass mixing bowel that Natasha was perched on top of, Steve was shouting at her, hands flailing through the air. “Get off of the fucking bowel and just let him blast the damn thing Nat?!” Natasha held fast her position, the goopy substance tumbled around in its confinement, struggling to escape. “No can do Steve! We’ve worked too hard to find these things and contain them, we need to keep them alive, for research. What if it’s potentially a more dangerous threat then we first imagined? And what if there’s more?” She struggled heavily against the rumbling bowel as she spoke. “We need to know more about them!” Steve rolled his eyes his hands met his face in frustration. “Not at the cost of killing you? That thing would have to if we wouldn’t have stopped it!”

Natasha gasped in frustration. “We don’t know that! If it wanted to infect me it would have, it’s like it’s searching for something else.” Tony stood strong, charging up his reactor, aim ready to fire. “Pete, go get her off the damn bowel and I’ll do the rest.” Peter didn’t think anyone had sensed his presence yet in all the chaos, but his mind was filled with questions. “How did it get out?” He blurted. Steve turned his head slightly, still not taking his eyes off of Nat and the vibrating mixing bowel. “We don’t know, this thing is smart, one second we were all up here having a drink, and the next it had set itself loose and was fighting to get out of the flat. Nat trapped it in this bowel.

“WHICH IS MY FAVORITE MIXING BOWEL, BY THE WAY!” Peter turned to see Pepper flying downstairs to join the madness. “Tony stark I told you to get rid of that fucking thing or take it somewhere else! I know Nick Fury has a perfectly good lab somewhere but you keep it held up here like a house pet while you and Peter prod at it day in and day out!” Her eyes flickered towards Peter, who froze in his place. “No offense, Peter...” she added, unable to bitch him out without feeling hurt.

“None taken..so how do we...handle this?” Peter stammered. “Just told you kiddo. Go tear black widow here off of the bowel and I’ll handle the rest.” Both Natasha and Pepper rather loudly protested at the same time, causing Peter to cringe. Nat carried on about how it didn’t need to be killed, and pepper seemed to be screeching about her rug and coffee table, causing everyone to jump when a voice approached behind the group.

“You could just let me have Venom back?” Peter whipped around, instinctively webbing the mans hand to the wall. Nat clung to the bowel even tighter, and Tony turned his attention, as Steve ran down to the lab. (peter presumed to go find his shield.) “Sorry, have WHO back?” Tony asked sarcastically. “And also why the fuck are you in my house?” The man was tall, with bulky shoulders, his voice was gruff and stubble lined his cheeks. He was wearing a casual hoodie, sleeves rolled up, tattoos covered his left arm that was webbed to the wall. “Yeah, security is shit here by the way, no offense mister Stark, and I’m referring to my symbiote, I’d like him back now, before you idiots fucking kill him.” Steve arrived back downstairs, clutching his shield tightly.

Peter blinked, unable to speak. Tony’s mask opened, and he stared the man down, cautiously lowering his hand. “What is your name? And why are you giving that thing a name?” He questioned. “Names Eddie Brock, I’m from Cali. Might’ve heard of me from my show, but that’s not important right now. I’m calling him venom, because that  his is name, and he’s my symbiote.” Eddie turned his attention to peter. “Say kid, you wanna get this off my arm? Your girlfriend might be into this type of shit but I’m not.” Peter thought of you briefly webbed to his bed, but pushed the thought far back reminding himself now wasn’t the time. He slowly shook his head, not sure how to gauge the situation. “Oh for fucks sake, Venom, I know you’re weak buddy but ya gotta help me out here a little?” Everyone’s attention turned towards Natasha as the bowel rattled violently and busted. Glass showered the ground as the symbiote twisted and shot across the floor towards Eddie, pressing against his skin. Eddie let out a sharp cry, then a second later appeared to be normal again, ripping his arm away from the webbing.

“Alright...” he started with a relieved sigh. “That’s much better. You guys wanna come sit down, I think we have a lot to discuss?” Everyone collectively steed at each other, then back at Eddie and nodded slowly, making their way to the table. “Alright good, we got lots to catch up on, so let’s get started.”

——————————————————————————

@pcterparxer

[snarkwrites]

Title: ghosts of christmases past

Theme: holiday party

Fandom / Character(s):Juice Ortiz x OFC! Hazel Morrow.

Warnings: A little bit angsty/bittersweet here. This is kind of Juice and Hazel being stuck on the side of the road together and... internally reflecting on their last christmas together, alone and earlier at the MC. One in particular. Listen, if I’m never gonna write either version of this story, just enjoy these random ass little bits as they come to me, lmaooo. Love you guys.

FYI, the bit in italics is Haze having a bit of a flashback. This ties to the theme, I promise.. It’s theme adjacent...

I made the moodboard thing. Don’t steal or repost/claim as your own.

Word Count: uhh.. 300 to 700+, roughly.

My last intention was for this to... Turn angsty and bittersweet. But alas, here we are.. But don’t fret, it ends kinda.. somewhat happily.

Also, again.. I made the banner for this. Don’t steal or repost.

TAGGING:

@chasingeverybreakingwave @sassymox and @kyleoreillysknee are the only people on my Sons Of Anarchy taglist. If you’d like to be on there, dm my main or this blog or click that link belowa nd add yourself.

also gonna tag bb @champbucks and @12daysofchristmas

[ about my writing | masterlist | multifandom tag doc ]

“Sweetie, can you go with Juice into town? Your brother said that Tig and Chibs are sending him after some things for the party tonight and I need a few things too. I’d do it, but I’m kind of enjoying Grandma time with little bit and your nephews.”

My mom thought she was asking the harmless questions. Apparently, she’d completely forgotten how Juice and I can’t even be in the same room anymore without either a shouting match or awkward silence and heavy tension as the air around us filled to the brim with things that hadn’t been said. 

And all I could think was that this time a few years ago, before I left town, we were so happy. I thought he was it for me. I thought back then that by now, we’d be settled down. That maybe Juice would be working at Teller Morrow and I’d be teaching or something.

I swallowed hard and nodded. My mom wasn’t going to let me out of this and obviously, whatever she needed was important.

She handed me a list and some money. I tried to shove the money back at her, explaining that I’d pay, but she wouldn’t hear it. 

As I went to walk out the door, my mom called out to me. “Juice was a better man than Jase.”

I whirled around, gazing at my mother with my brow raised. “ If this is your way of saying you told me so, Mom… Trust me. Lesson learned.”

“No, I was just suggesting that maybe you use the time you’re out with Juice, you at least attempt to talk to him. I know things went wrong back then, but I also know that if you didn’t still feel something and feel it strongly, you wouldn’t spend so much time picking fights with the poor guy. He doesn’t really have anyone but the club, Hazelynn.”

I opened my mouth but I closed it. My mom had a point. And lately, any fool could see that Juice was really going through it.. He rarely talked to anyone, he was always so damn tense I thought he’d jump right out of his skin. If he did have to interact with me, he was even more tense. Standoffish, even, and that wasn’t like the man I’d known years before. That wasn’t the man I loved. Juice was more easy going and a bit of a joker. Not this tense and serious guy he’d apparently turned into as of late.

I was beyond worried about him. To a point where my own current situation was sort of taking a backseat. But any attempt I’d made to reconnect had been met with annoyance. Bitterness. And deep down, that cut me.

He was literally the one man I’d honestly never wanted to give up back then. But I had to at least try to follow my dreams. I had to at least try living a life free of the MC and it’s dangers and scary situations. I’d just needed a break.

“You know I’m right, Hazelynn. You look at him the way I used to look at Jax’s father. You never wanted to break it off back then. You’re home now. You’re safe. You deserve to be happy. And if Juice makes you happy, maybe you need to stop pushing that down and lean into it. Just a thought, sweetie.”

“Mom, I…”

“No buts. Go. I need everything on that list now, not four hours from now.”

I eyed my mom and after a second or two, I walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway, stopping to put on a light jacket. It wasn’t terribly cold, but I knew it would get cooler the later in the afternoon it got.  I made my way down the hall and into the guest room where I’d put down my little girl Serena earlier after she crashed for her daily nap. I leaned over and brushed my lips against her forehead. “Mommy will be back as soon as she can, okay? Until then, Gramma’s got you. Be sweet, little angel.” I muttered, walking to the door of the bedroom and shutting it quietly behind me so the boys didn’t run in and wake her up.

I’d just walked outside when Juice’s motorcycle as well as my brother’s and Opie’s came to a stop in front of my mother’s house. They were laughing and talking and as usual, the second Juice and I locked eyes, his jaw set and the smile was gone. There was only hurt and bitterness there.

Opie and Jax shared a look and quickly retreated to the inside of our mom’s house and I shuffled my feet, trying to figure out a way to ask if he’d give me a ride to town too. Even though I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the last thing he wanted to do was have me riding behind him on his bike. Even something as simple as an accidental brushing of bodies lately seemed to make him overly annoyed.

And it hurt.

I knew I’d hurt him. I just wanted to make up for that. But so far, he wasn’t willing to let me.

“Are you going into town?” I asked the question tentatively. Juice stopped messing with the bike to look over at me and then he shrugged. “Maybe. Why?”

“My mom, uhh.. She needs some stuff from the grocery. I’d go in my car but it’s kind of sitting in Teller Morrow on a jack right now…” I gave a sheepish look and bit my lip, watching his facial expression as he seemed to take forever mulling it over.

“Fine. I’m leavin now though.”

“I’m all ready to go.” I answered, stepping a little closer. I stared up at him intently, noticing just how pronounced the deep circles seemed to be under his eyes. He clearly hadn’t been sleeping.

,, Oh Juice,” I thought to myself, ,, Why do I feel like there’s something wrong but you stubbornly refuse to reach out.”  

He eyed me and bit his lip. For a few seconds, I almost thought he was going to say something. He looked like he wanted to ask me something so badly that it literally almost came out, but he closed his mouth and cleared his throat, nodding to his motorcycle. “Hold on tight.”

I slipped onto the bike behind him, careful to hold on tight but leave distance. Last thing I wanted was for him to get annoyed because I was leaning against him a little.

The ride into town was quiet, only the sounds of the motor and the wind. I shivered a little, wishing I’d opted for a long sleeve beneath my thin jacket too. I’d forgotten just how chilly it got to ride a motorcycle, because I hadn’t done it in so long.

The lights of town were coming into view when things went downhill quick, fast and in a hurry.

The motorcycle got wobbly and Juice swore, pulling over on the side of the road, near one of the canyons. The wind picked up a bit and I hugged myself. Juice kicked at the motorcycle and dragged a hand over his head. A movement which I spent far too long staring at as my mind just kind of… Drifted.

To a Christmas a few years ago, back before everything went so horribly wrong between us.

XXX

“ Baby girl, wake up.”

The warmth of his breath against my ear had my eyes fluttering open and as soon as I saw the bright midmorning sun, I groaned. “Oh no. Mom is going to absolutely murder me.”

“We both crashed. Question, how dead do you think I’m about to be in Clay Morrow’s eyes, scale of ten?” Juice asked the question as he rushed around, grabbing my clothes for me so I could go and jump in the shower. My head was pounding. I knew the few drinks I had the night before at the MC Christmas party had been a very, very bad idea… Especially when you consider that of my entire family, I’m the one who never does things like this.

But last night had been magical. Cuddling in front of a bonfire with Juice, wrapped in a blanket. Stargazing as we sipped cocoa and later, whiskey… and we just kind of really talked about the future. Where we saw things going.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that after I graduated in the spring, I was heading off to UCLA. And that I intended to put distance between myself and Charming for a while. I just.. I needed the break from the rollercoaster of crazy my life had always been. I needed time to process discovering that my father wasn’t the same man as Jax’s father, but Clay Morrow, a man that I really hadn’t ever bonded with. A man that I’d always seen as merely ‘dad’s replacement’. 

I didn’t want to ruin our time left together, so I hadn’t quite told him yet.

His arms wrapped around me from behind just as I went to step into the shower in his bathroom and he muttered quietly against the shell of my ear, “Want some help washing off, baby girl?”

I turned to face him, melting against him and biting my lip as I gave a soft laugh and giggled. “Your hands all over me? It’s only one of my biggest fantasies, baby.”

His mouth crashed against mine passionately, our tongues tangling, his hands all over me as he pulled me even closer somehow and mumbled into the deep and passionate kiss, “Love you so fuckin much baby girl. Can’t wait until we don’t have to deal with curfews and all this other shit. When it’s just you an’ me. Our own little family.”

I swallowed down the lump in my throat and smiled up at him, nodding even though I knew I wouldn’t be around for a while. But not having the heart to tell him…

XXX

“I asked you a question, Haze. You listenin to me?” Juice’s stern tone had my head snapping up and I bit my lip, surveying the blown tire. I finally managed to clear my mind from my memories enough to ask what he’d said and he grumbled, repeating himself.

He’d asked if I had any signal on my cell phone. I handed it over and he took it, unlocking it and promptly pausing.

And in that moment, I wanted to kick myself, because I forgot that I’d taken a photo of him with Serena asleep a few days ago at the MC when she got dropped off there to be watched by Jax and the guys until I finished my shift at the hospital. I’d come in to find her asleep on Juice’s chest, arms around his neck. She’d told me on the way home that she had three favorite uncles now… Apparently, she’d really bonded with Juice.

I told myself that I put the picture on my phone because my little girl was in it. But deep down I knew it was more or less because the two people I loved most in the world were in a photo together and I wanted it where I could see it every time I had a shitty day or a long double shift at the hospital.

He glanced at me, rubbing his hand over his head and held the phone back out in haste. “None. Same as mine. We’re either walkin or we’re standin here all night. Because I don’t exactly have a spare.”

“Shit… I.. I can walk up the road a little, see if maybe I can pick up service.” I offered, starting to walk away before Juice even had a chance to verbally answer. I’d gotten a few feet away from the motorcycle and Juice and I heard him running to catch up, stopping me.

“It’s getting dark. I’ll come with ya.”

“I figured you might want some space, I… you were getting annoyed.” I mumbled softly, staring up at him. His entire expression changed and he sighed quietly, shaking his head no, tilting my chin up when I decided it was better if I looked down and not directly at him.

Because I couldn’t take the pain in his eyes anymore. I also hated that I was the reason it was there to begin with.

Everything had gone so horribly wrong between us and it was all my fault. All because I’d been too afraid to do what I really wanted. Too young, too stupid, too filled with all these big plans. Plans that all went wrong and even if they did go alright, they always felt wrong. I’d never really felt like I was where I was supposed to be.

But since I’d come home?

I hadn’t felt like I was ever supposed to be anywhere else. Maybe I never should’ve left. Maybe then my daughter would have a good father and not some prick of a sperm donor who was already married and wanted no part of her, or of me.

“I wasn’t. It’s just hard bein around you… Knowin that I wasn’t enough.” Juice mumbled quietly and I gave a quiet gasp.

“Juice, you’ve always been more than I deserved.” I found the courage to actually hold his gaze, my brows knit in concern because his words weren’t like him… and somehow, I knew he meant them and that he felt them.

Had he always felt them?

“That’s not why I left…” I started, only to go silent. “I left because I had to know if there was more to life. I needed a break from the craziness and I had a lot on my mind. I was so in love with you that sometimes it scared me.” I trailed off completely, muttering the last part “I wish I never left every single day.” quietly enough that I thought maybe he wouldn’t hear it.

But he did hear it. And he tilted my chin again, leaning down a little, his mouth brushing against mine. “It’s also hard bein around you because I still love you, baby girl. I never stopped. I just thought you didn’t...”

“I didn’t what?” I asked, my mouth brushing up against his with each word that left it. His fingertips dug into my waist and I rubbed against him just a little, my breaths shaky and erratic. Everything coming at me so fast I didn’t have time to process. I waited on him to answer.

“That maybe you didn’t love me.” he finally answered, adding quickly, “I was scared back then too…” his hand caressed my cheeks and he stared into my eyes. The wind picked up and he wrapped his arms around me to try keeping me warm just a little.

“I still love you too.” I admitted it quietly, making him blink in shock when his eyes met mine. He swallowed hard and started to  tenderly move his hands up and down my sides, one hand stopping to caress my cheek all over again.

“First.. We get off the side of the fuckin road.. Then, baby girl… when we get back to the MC, we’re going to have a serious talk, okay?”

I gave a soft laugh and nodded. “Okay. That’s fair enough. Let’s go try to find a spot with some service, yeah?”

“Yeah, even though I don’t wanna let you go right now.”

“You have all night to dance with me and hold me.. Like that last Christmas party we went to back then.. I’ve missed us so much.” I pointed out, making him nod.

Nothing mattered but getting back to the MC. Because I had so much I wanted to say. So much I needed to do to make things right again. To show him that I loved him and I’d missed him every single day I was away. That I made a huge mistake back then and I was so sorry.

[razorblade180]

Sunshower 9

Dusk time, the time every resident has been waiting for has returned once again. Decorations start to light up like yesterday and one by one people started to roam the streets yet again; including Neptune. He leaned against a small metal railing that went down to the beach via several steps. His pants were replaced with red shorts and a black, half buttoned up shirt. Perfect casual attire for having fun on the beach. It also was the only place his goggles didn’t stick out.

Even though the festivities had just begun, Neptune had already been patiently waiting for Ilia. Sun had informed them of conversation that took place by the lake and eagerly waiting to hear her interpretation of it. He’d had practiced pretending to be ignorant about it for an hour. Secretly being the friend they both turn towards for this predicament was rather challenging, yet flattering. Not to mention he was kinda living for this type teen drama. It was sure more investing than dealing with grimm.

Neptune:Hmmm, where the hell is she? I hope she didn’t change her mind.

“Freeze Human! You’re under arrest!!!” A voice cried out behind Neptune that made him jump instantly and turn around with his hands up.

Neptune:Officer I swear it was Su- Judy?

Judy:Hahaha! Man I got you good!

The fox officer laughed hysterically while holding their scroll sideways like a gun. Neptune would’ve been furious if he wasn’t busy looking at Judy’s outfit. The uniform from earlier was replaced with some blue daisy dukes that showed off her legs and a red crop top that proved that Judy definitely was the type who took police academy seriously. It was a good thing Judy had warned him earlier about using compliments like foxy because he definitely would’ve said it here.

Neptune:Woah.......

Judy:I could say the same thing. I guess earlier I saw you in standard clothes and not party attire. Not to shabby.

Neptune:Th...thanks. You look....wow.

Judy:Hmmm first woah, now wow. Here I thought you had flirting down packed.

Neptune:I’m...sorry?

Judy:Don’t be. Bumbling is was more adorable. *winks*

Neptune:*red* S..so, you’re definitely not dressed for work hehe. I guess you’re off the clock?

Judy:Yep! But technically an officer never really is. If something pops off and I’m around then you bet your ass I got to do something about it. With parties like these even the best of people can do something crazy with enough liquor in their liver.

Neptune:Hehe, ain’t that the truth?

Judy:Hmm, aren’t you too young to drink?

Neptune:.......

Neptune:Am I about to get a ticket?

Judy:Pfft, that’s not worth the ink; and you won’t just here me say that. When Menagerie parties like this then it’s pretty common for the young adults to end up drinking as well. If we tried to enforce a law like the drinking limit during these then we’d run out of trees to make paper in a day. So we let it slide. It’s a double edged sword though. Anybody who gets arrested for something better not hope they’re illegally intoxicated. We’ll add that to the charge.

Neptune:So I’m guessing you’re what, 21?

Judy:Actually I just turned 22. I don’t drink though. Not really my style.

Neptune:I don’t know many people like you. A badass older woman fox cop. That’s a mouthful.

Judy:.......

Neptune:What?

Judy:*hands on hips smirking* Give it a second.

Neptune:......!!! Shit! I’m sorry! Badass older...person. Was that rude? I didn’t mean to-

Judy:*grabs his shoulder* Neptune, was it?

Neptune:Y..yes.

Judy:I’m just messing with ya. Lighten up; just wondering if you’d catch on.

Neptune:I sort of put two and two together with a bit of Ilia’s help. Sorry, I have a couple of gay friends but non-binary is a new one. I’ll try not to slip up too much.

Judy:*grinning* I appreciate the thought. I’m not sensitive about that sort of thing though. Cops need thick skin and I’ve lived this life long enough to be comfortable with how I’m addressed. Feminine pronouns are no skin off my back. Brownie points though if you do get the hang of it though. It would definitely make you more....appealing.

That last word was said strangely to him. Either he was reading the room wrong or there was a definite vibe sh-they were trying to give him. The boy was definitely out of his league with this one. Judy watched his face get a little redder as he was finally let go of.

Neptune:Good to know.

Judy:That’s enough about. Wanna tell me why you’re standing here all alone? I saw your friend up at the Belladonna estate just a bit ago. Waiting on a date?

Neptune:No, but I wouldn’t mind one honestly.

Judy:*raises eyebrow* How bold.

Neptune:That’s not what I- I mean if you wanna. Wait, I’m doing something important! I’m waiting for Ilia; I’m supposed to meet her here.

Judy:She was looking pretty rough earlier. I didn’t think she’d party two days in a row.

Neptune:She sort of got persuaded. I’m wondering what’s keeping her?

Judy:Why wonder when you can ask? You have her number right? Face time her.

Neptune:Why not just call?

Judy:Trust me, she doesn’t answer regular calls nearly as often. She’s probably just laying around.

xxxx

“I’m going to be the number one hero!”

“Fuck yeah you are!” Ilia shouted at her tv proudly as she put a spoon full of cereal in her mouth. “I wish someone could give me a super power.”

Bzzz!!! Bzzz!!! Incoming call

She looked down at her scroll to see the little goggle icon she gave Neptune shaking side to side Ilia wasn’t stupid. She knew what time it was; she also knew that she still wasn’t feeling in a party mood. ‘Maybe if I ignore it, he won’t call it again? Then again, it’s face time. Why not just call? .....screw it.’ Ilia answers it.

Ilia:H-

Neptune:Where are you!? Party time officially began at least half an hour ago!

Ilia:Uuhhhhh, fashionably late?

Neptune:Is that why you have dried up milk in the corners of your mouth?

Ilia:.....*wipes mouth* Yes? Hehehe.

Neptune:Are you even dressed?

Ilia:...Does a sports bra and basketball shorts count?

Neptune:You wear a bra in the comfort and privacy of your own house?

Ilia:Yeah?

Neptune:Hmmm, you would.

Ilia:W..what does that me-

Neptune:Never mind that! Ilia, put on something party casual and hurry up. Don’t think I won’t drag you out of your house.

Ilia:You don’t know where I live Neptune.

Judy:*offscreen* I do!

Ilia:Judy!? Are you with my parole officer!!? Am I on speaker phone!?

Neptune:...That sounds pretty bad out loud but yes. Say hi Judy. *hands her scroll*

Judy:Hey Spots. You look comfy.

Ilia:I was. Now I’m suspicious.

Judy:Relax, I bumped into your friend and simply asked what he was doing. Apparently he’s waiting for you, so get off your butt and put on your dancing shoes!

Ilia:Shouldn’t my parole officer encourage me to stay in one place?

Judy:All I have to do is recommend you make good choices, which is something I never had to do with you personally because news flash, you’re a good citizen; reformed anyways.

Ilia:Woah, almost a complete compliment.

Judy:You know I find you endearing. Now are you real going to bum out on your couch watching anime.

Ilia:How did you know it was-

Judy:Or are you going to enjoy the night with your friend who keeps jumping every time he hears a wave crash on the shore?

Neptune:Hey!

Ilia:Sigh........uuuugggggghhhhh

Judy:FYI, if I see you out and about tonight then you don’t have to wake up early and report to me tomorrow. You can sleep in.

Ilia:.......

Ilia:Give me fifteen minutes.

Judy:I’ll give you twenty five. I can smell you from here. *hangs up*

Ilia:I don’t-oooohhhh Judy you.....why can’t I have a normal parole officer!?

xxxx

Judy:She’s on her way.

Neptune:You’re good.

Judy:Nah, Ilia is just a big softie. Even if she won’t admit it. I do hope she cuts back on the drinking.

Neptune:Pfft, after yesterday she already said she’s not drinking a single drop of alcohol.

Judy:Whay happened yesterday?

Neptune:(Crap....) Oh you know..... too drunk to actually enjoy herself. I mean you saw her when I had to basically carry her.

Judy:Hmm, you’re definitely holding out on me. I can hear it your voice.

Neptune:What are you a detective? Wait, are you? *eyes widen*

Judy:No, you’re just really bad under pressure. That’s enough of you talking about what you do with females at parties. We have time to kill. *grabs his hand*

Neptune:*red* Where are we going?

Judy:Standing in one spot is boring! We’re going on a little walk on beach. Maybe get our feet a little wet?

Neptune:That’s...you see....bodies of w..water and I don’t exactly go together!

Judy:Yeah right. Your name is Neptune and I can see the goggles on your head.

Neptune:(I’ve made a terrible choice in fashion. Sun, I don’t know how but you owe me for this one.)

xxxx

Yang:Oh, you’re back....

Sun:Yeah, I have a room here....

The two of them stood in the doorway of Blake’s house. Not many people have come to enjoy the festivities inside yet but those who did were treated to uneasy tension the two radiated. Neither of them had changed. In situations like these, you come prepared for the worst.

Yang:I don’t want to argue with you.

Sun:Me either.

Yang:So why does it feel like we’re one bad move away screaming our heads off.

Sun:Because you’re obviously defensive over this. As for me, I’m.....sad.

Yang:*frown* You’re not sad Sun. I know what sad is. What you are is hurt. Badly. Not that I blame you.

Sun:But you still insist on rubbing it in my face knowing how I feel? I thought you were better than that.

Yang:That’s not what- listen, I get it. I started ya off on bad terms and might’ve...deserved some choice words. My bad. Can we at least try to look past that?

Sun:*folds arms*....For Blake.

Yang:For Blake.

Kali:*walks up* Well that was a sorry excuse for an apology. Shouldn’t huntsman be somewhat good with deterring hostile situations. Both of you are scaring guest. Now I may not know the complete ins and outs of your problems but I know Blake cherishes you both; I cherish you both. Ghira might not show it but Sun, he is fond of you.

Something about hearing that made him smile a little. It would’ve been nice for Ghira to say it himself but still, it was nice.

Kali:If one of you is upset then Blake is upset. If both of you are upset with each other then you better believe that Blake will be concerned and I’ll be mad at both of you. So please, actually try and forgive one another; faking it won’t solve the problem. You’ll only end up more hurt.

Yang and Sun:.......Yes ma’am.

Kali:Sun?

Sun:Yes?

Kali:I hope you know that you don’t have to force yourself to okay so soon? As much as I would be thrilled if you were, we all know that’s not how these things work. Take your time. After all, this isn’t some physical injury you got. You’re heart broken.

He was. Sun didn’t really want to give it that label. Him and Blake definitely shared a lot of deep moments together since they met but they weren’t exactly plentiful. Yet somehow Blake....really captivated him. She was special to him. That feeling itself hasn’t changed. there was now simply miserable end layer that followed it; like bitter sweet chocolate. Coming here in the first place was struggle on its own. His chest felt heavy and face slightly warm. It felt wrong to not be completely happy for Blake. It felt selfish....

Yang:You know, Blake is still getting ready. Kali and I can tell her you stopped by to let her know you just weren’t feeling well? If that’s what you wanna do that is.

Sun:..Yeah. That might be for the best right now. *rubs head* Tell her I’m sorry too.

Yang watched him turn around and begin walking down the stairs. Guilt didn’t stop with him. Even she had to admit this isn’t what she wanted. Seeing Sun low spirited was unnatural. Things couldn’t end like that; not completely poor. “Sun!” She called out to him without thinking and ran to him. Sun turned just in time to receive an unexpected hug from the blonde bruiser. It took a moment before he returned it in kind.

Sun:.....

Kali:*smiling*

Yang:Please feel better. I mean that. You’re just not you without a smile. I’m...I’m sorry I took that from you. I didn’t mean to.

Sun:Something was going to be collateral. No way around that. Thanks though; I needed a hug.

Sun spent no time putting distance between himself and that house. The sunset had was finally fading int night and with it brought more active people out and about. Many heading to where he just left, but some preferred to make the streets their dance floor. He wasn’t quite in a mood for it however. Instead he sat alone on a bench near the beach entrance and closed his eyes.

‘I wonder where the other are? They should be around here somewhere. Heh, Ilia is totally gonna be pissed that I didn’t follow through. Well, not exactly. At least Yang and I seem a bit more friendly. Still, so much for a part do over’

“Someone looks pretty gloomy for them to claim that making friends is their so called secret semblance.” The sarcastic tone was all he needed to hear in order to know Ilia was right in front of him.

“Hi Ilia.” No effort was put into making that sound cheery. “Sun, please tell me I didn’t get dressed for nothing?” His eyebrows scrunched at her words in confusion before actually deciding to take a look at the her. Ilia wore a simple white tank top and jean shorts that looked ripped by her own doing. They were faded and stopped halfway down her thighs. The most surprising part about the outfit, other than it being like colors, was her shoes. Sun didn’t expect Ilia to own a pair of high top sneakers. They were so blue with yellow stitching.

Sun:Where are the others?

Ilia:Don’t know; I just got here.

Sun:What? Shouldn’t you have been here like an hour ago?

Ilia:*red* I-I almost bailed. I’m sorry...

Sun:Don’t be. I kinda wished you did. It would make me feel a lot better about not holding up my end of the bargain.

Ilia:Someone looks like they have a story to tell. Or a reason to scream?

Sun:Try both.

Ilia:I just might. After you tell me about it first. Scoot over.

xxxx

Ilia:....

Sun:Well? No comments?

Ilia:Oh I have comments. They’re just mostly I told you so. Seriously, I’m the one who suggested getting space away from this situation in the first place!

Sun:I’m pretty sure you did not phrase it as kind. “Screw Blake Belladonna mentality” was what you said.

Ilia:Same difference. You got the message.

Sun:Yeah. Sorry, you were right. If you wanna go home then I won’t stop you. I’m not in much of a party mood anyways.

Ilia:.....

Ilia:Too bad

Sun:What?

Ilia:I said too bad. I’m already dressed and out here. You’re stuck with me. We decided on three hours right? Plenty of time to turn this night around.

Sun:But-

Ilia:Too bad....*grins* Listen, would you really rather sit here alone and bummed out. At least around me you’ll look cheery by comparison.

Sun:That’s pretty when you think about Ilia.

Ilia:Trust me, I know. So let’s at least try to fix that!

Her words and attitude were picking up steam so to speak. Only a little awhile ago did Sun hear the girl want to do nothing but lay around but now she was at least trying to give him positive vibes to feed off on. He hasn’t seen this much enthusiasm since their race. “You’re a real haggler aren’t ya?”

“You’re one to talk, banana breath.” She folded her arms and smirked with pride. The petty insult managed to put more of a smile on his face. “Look at that, you’re looking better already.” He playfully rolled his eyes; she might’ve been right though. He’d let her have this little victory if it meant her spirits was lifted too. A smile on her face was beginning to be a rare thing.

The two kept trying to read each other’s facial expression in an attempt to get some sort of edge over the other to tease them about. That all stopped however when the same thought came to both of them. ‘How long have I been staring?’ Unknowingly this had been going on for a couple minutes. Not only that, they hadn’t realized how physically close they had gotten in the process. Someway, somehow, Ilia had inched closer to him until there was almost no space between them except for hands that were finger nails apart. Sun was no better. He was so focused on reading her that he actually had leaned in a bit. Their faces only a few inches away. Ilia’s skin flashed pink briefly before her immediate jolt backwards away from him. Sun wondered if she had noticed? He wouldn’t bring it up if she didn’t. Even he could tell his face was probably a bit flushed from the unexpected breach of personal space.

Sun:S..Sorry about-

Ilia:No, it’s fine. My bad. We’re cool......

Sun:Cool. Cool...*rubs head* so uhh, let’s find Neptune I guess?

Ilia:Sounds like a plan!

They hop up from the bench and begin looking too see if they could spot him. “Judy was with him whe he called me. I’m sure they’re on the beach.”

“Let’s go then.” His mind instinctively went to grab her hand. He had caught what he was about to do but before he could backpedal, Ilia’s hand met his halfway and grabbed it. Her own subconscious action startled her. She had seen his hand swing back to her and simply...reached for it. Ilia looked at their hands then at Sun who was more than a little embarrassed by the incident.

Sun:I-

Ilia:Yeah, this crowd is getting pretty big. Wouldn’t want to get split and then have to find each other too.

She couldn’t tell if she was giving him an out, being logical, or rationalizing what happened to herself; and she wasn’t about to linger on it. Now was the time for fun. Anything else can be dealt with another day. Ilia took the lead and lead him to the beach.

Part8