#also the fact that he had a loving childhood with his grandma would make him more critical of faranak

[diyasgarden]

Phobias

Art has a phobia of sickness. It actually developed naturally. Living with his elderly grandma made him hyperaware of how easy it is to get sick. Really the fear is connected to the fear of losing his grandmother, but it kind of just carries with him throughout his life. You tease him about it just a little bit because he spends so much time with Patrick (who is the messiest person alive), but Art simply rolls his eyes every time. He says there is a difference between going a fear of germs and sickness, but you think maybe he loves Patrick enough to put up with it.

Growing up Tashi had a phobia of doctors. She hated going in for any reason, including her physicals. This fear got worse when she started to really get into tennis, because she was afraid the doctor would find some reason that would prevent her from playing. She told you this once, and you reassured her nothing like that would happen. It's also one of the reasons why her injury feels like a cruel joke to her. She gets over this phobia after her injury because she wants nothing more than to play again. She goes to any doctor who she thinks may help and does whatever they say. She essentially forces the fear out of her in the hope that she'd be able to play again. She never gets the opportunity, but at least she isn't afraid of doctors anymore.

I'm not necessarily sure if this is a phobia, but Patrick hates it when everything is quiet. It deeply unsettles him. His childhood was quiet and he never liked it. It feels like disappointment and desperation to him. Makes him insanely anxious and is probably why he is such a loud person. It's also connected to his fear of abandonment. He always likes having some background noise. This is why he traveled a lot during those years he spent alone and preferred staying in random shitty motels by the side of the highway. If he had to be alone at least he'd have the noise from the cars. It's not something he talks about and it only really affects him when he is alone. When he is with other people, he finds their presence to be grounding and prevent him from becoming anxious, even when it is quiet. If you're with him, the room could be quiet, and he'd be fine as long as he could hear the sound of you breathing. You still have a gut feeling about him having this fear though, but you realize it probably has to do with the fact that everything being quiet makes him realize how lonely he feels.

[thehecklingmouse]

Love that whenever you read a fic you can tell if the author hates faranak cuz they'll make alhaitham their mouthpiece

[once-upon-an-imagine]

Here Is Gone - Charlie Weasley

A/N: ahhhh xD I am back, baby! as promised here is our winner, Mr. Charlie Weasley! :D I hope you loves liked it! this turned out suuuuuper long so :)  also, we are all going to pretend that Sirius and Remus are a lot older in this fic (like Molly’s age) because they have a daughter that is Charlie’s age AND Bill never worked in Egypt he always stayed at Gringotts!

Request -  Anonymous asked: Hi, love! I saw you wanted some angsty Charlie request, and although I'm not so good at coming up with angsty ideas I'll try... How about Charlie and you are best friends at Hogwarts, both pining for each other but neither says nothing, so when you graduate Charlie goes to Romania and you stay there, so don't see each other again for years. When he comes home, you are engaged to someone else, but you both still like each other. Okay, I don't know if that makes any sense at all and you can ignore it 🙈 Also, if you decide to write it, you can make the ending whatever you want (I love a happy ending, but you choose). Thank you ❤️

Warnings: wolfstar!daughter! this is a bit angsty but Bill is here to diffuse the tension xD jealous!Charlie, reader cheats on boyfriend with Charlie (one kiss) and please let me know if I missed anything! 

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter :D gif isn’t mine :)

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Here Is Gone

And I want to get free, talk to me I can feel you falling And I wanted to be all you need Somehow here is gone

You weren’t sure what was the weirdest part of coming back to your childhood home. That your father hadn’t taken down the portrait of your stupid grandma. That it was now invaded by members of the order. Or…

“Love?”

Five years. It had been five years since you heard that nickname. Nobody else called you that. You made sure of it because that nickname was reserved for him. You slowly turned around, holding on to your mug to make your hand stop shaking and there he was.

“Charlie” you smiled. You always smiled when you saw Charlie.

He looked the same. But not really. He looked absolutely enthralling. His fiery red hair was longer than when you last saw him and tied in a small bun with some loose strands. There were burn marks on his (very) muscular arms and several tattoos were visible, peeking from under his shirtsleeves and collar. His eyes were the same deep blue eyes you loved so much. And now, the top of his face was covered in freckles, but the bottom part was decorated with a lazy beard.

You didn’t know it was possible. You couldn’t understand how your heart still fell to your stomach and your knees went weak just by looking at him, flashing you that bright smile he always had when he looked at you.

“Hello, sunshine” he said, opening his arms to you. “Don’t I get a hug?”

“Of course, you get a hug” you smiled, walking closer to him. You were going to wrap your arms around his waist but his arms quickly wrapped around yours and lifted you up, twirling you around, making your mug fall out of your hand and break on the floor.

“Shit! I’m sorry, love” he said, pointing his wand at your mug and fixing it in no time, placing it on the counter. “Please don’t tell your dad I broke your favorite mug” he chuckled, making you do the same.

“Your secret’s safe with me, Charlie” you smiled, feeling horrible at the fact that the word ‘love’ almost came out of your mouth so casually.

“It’s been so long, my little Hungarian Horntail” he laughed.

“Seriously? It’s been five years, Charles, I think we can retire that nickname” you smiled nervously, hating how much you had always loved that nickname too.

“No, never. That is the best way to describe you” he smiled, placing his hand on your cheek. He felt his heart racing as fast as it did every single time he saw you. He hadn’t felt that in five years and when Bill told him that they would be seeing you, he was 100% certain his feelings would come back. Well, not really because they never left. But this time, he was not going to let you go again. “I’ve missed you so much” he whispered.

The words were stuck in your throat. You wanted to say them out loud but something wasn’t letting you. You sighed in relief when you were quickly interrupted by your other favorite Weasley.

“CASSIOPEIA!” Bill burst into the room, pulling you away from Charlie and wrapping you in a bone-crushing hug like he always did. You couldn’t even protest at the fact that he still used your stupid middle name, which you hated. And Bill knew he was the only one that could get away with it. Other than your parents when they were reprimanding you for something.

“William” you laughed, trying to unglue yourself from him. Since he used your middle name, you used his full name, which he didn’t particularly love. “I kind of… need to breathe” you smiled.

“Oh, Merlin, I haven’t seen you in forever!” he said, finally putting you down.

“I literally saw you like two weeks ago” you laughed.

“You look bloody amazing!”

“Thanks, Bill, so do you” you smiled. “B-both of you” you said, turning to Charlie.

“Oh look, honey. The Weasleys are here” Sirius said, walking into the kitchen with his husband following him. “Broken any windows yet, boys?”

“Sirius” Remus warned him. “I’m sure these Weasleys are old enough now to not break any more of our windows” he smiled. “Hello Bill, Charlie” he smiled. 

You noticed Charlie widening his eyes at you and then at your now-fixed mug, making you laugh a little.

“Mr. Lupin” Bill and Charlie nodded at him. “M-Mr. Black” they said, looking at your other dad. You knew they were still a bit afraid of him. Or maybe a lot. “Sorry about that, again” Bill smiled nervously.

“It’s okay, boys” Sirius smirked at them. “It’s been a very long time since you’ve broken something of ours” he said, glaring a little bit at Charlie.

“Dad!” you rolled your eyes.

“Sirius, love, come help me in the other room” Remus quickly pulled him away and you thanked him with your eyes. Bill quickly followed them, nodding his head towards you to Charlie without you noticing.

“So, I see your father still hates me” Charlie told you.

“He doesn’t hate you” you chuckled.

“He doesn’t love me” he argued.

“Don’t take it personally. He doesn’t love anybody who’s not my dad, me, or Harry” you told them.

“Fair enough” he chuckled, walking closer to you. “I was wondering if… uh-” he said, suddenly getting nervous. “We could talk?”

“Talk?” you asked. “About what?” you smiled nervously.

“W-well-”

“Hey, there you are pumpkin” Charlie felt your hand fall from his the minute a guy stepped into the kitchen. A very handsome man, with dark hair, blue eyes, and about as tall as Charlie, made his way towards you and kissed your cheek, hugging you to him, and making Charlie’s stomach drop. “Hi, you must be one of Bill’s brothers” he said, offering his hand to Charlie.

“Oh, darling” you smiled nervously and then looked at Charlie. “Um, this is Charlie” you corrected him. “Charlie, this is Nicholas” you said, looking back at the redhead. “My boyfriend” you informed him.

“Oh, right! The one that works with dragons” he smiled at the redhead, as Charlie shook his hand, still dumbfounded. “She has told me all about you and your brothers, but it might take me some time to get it correctly” he chuckled.

“R-right. No worries, mate, everyone gets us mixed up” Charlie said, still looking between the two of you. “Wait ‘till you meet Fred and George, they’re twins” he laughed slightly.

“Sounds fun” Nicholas smiled at you, kissing your head and pulling you closer by your waist. You quickly looked at Charlie and noticed his ears were getting the same color as his hair and beard. He was angry. “Your father says the meeting’s about to start, pumpkin” he told you.

“Oh, r-right. I’ll be right there, I’m just getting some tea” you said, motioning to your empty mug on the counter.

“I’ll save you a seat” he smiled before he gave you a small peck on the lips before he left and you smiled nervously. Why were you nervous? Why did you feel the need to explain this to Charlie? You didn’t owe him an explanation.

“So… pumpkin” Charlie smirked at you.

“Don’t be an asshole, Weasley” you glared at him as you started preparing your tea.

“I’m not being an asshole” he defended himself. “I just… thought you hated pumpkin” he said as he walked through your kitchen as if it was his own house and he grabbed the milk to bring it to you. “Milk and no sugar. Right, love?”

“Um… yes, thanks” you said, feeling your heart flutter at the thought that he still remembered. “And for your information, I don’t hate pumpkin!”

“You hate pumpkin juice, pumpkin pastries, and even that princess from the muggle story your dad used to read to you where her carriage turns into a pumpkin” he laughed.

“Well, I don’t mind the word pumpkin” you informed him as you finished making your tea and you started walking out of the kitchen.

“Mhm, sure you don’t” Charlie smirked to himself, following you.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

It was currently day five. The day when the ‘kids’ (making you feel like 100 years old) left for school. Each passing day was worse than the last. You tried your hardest to avoid him. You really did. But it was easier said than done. He wasn’t even supposed to be here. Your father told you that Charlie was going to stay in Romania and recruit foreign wizards to join the Order. But at the last minute, he changed his mind. And you knew exactly what that meant. Bill told Charlie you were coming, and then, suddenly, Charlie was coming.

During the days, you tried to keep yourself busy and did whatever you could not to be in any room alone with Charlie. Because, if you were being honest, you didn’t trust yourself around him. You were with Nicholas. And you loved him. You were sure. On paper, he was probably the best boyfriend you could ask for. But Charlie had this stupid magnetic force that made you want to go back to him. Because that’s what he told you when the two of you went your separate ways. ‘We will always make our way back to each other.’ And now here you were. And you were with someone else. And you felt extremely guilty for the way your heart did a leap every time you saw Charlie. You hated the fact that you felt at home when he hugged you or when he smiled at you.

And at night. That was the worst time. You were staying in your old childhood bedroom and you knew Charlie was just a room away. With Bill. Like they shared when they spent their summers with you. And he would always sneak out of his room and come over to yours to spend the nights with you. And it made you sick to your stomach that some part of you still kept eyeing the door. Waiting for him. Not only because Nicholas was lying next to you. But because Charlie was no longer yours. He hadn’t been for five years.

When you walked into the room where today’s meeting was being held, you saw that your seat was between Nicholas and Charlie.

“Alright, now that we’re all here. We can begin” your father, Remus, started.

You tried extremely hard to concentrate on what your father was saying. You really did. But it was very hard when Charlie ‘casually’ threw his arm on the back of your seat. He was closer to you than Nicholas was and you started feeling extremely guilty for just wanting to lean into Charlie’s shoulder. Like you always did.

While your father kept explaining about the first order and what the ideas for this one were, Charlie finally removed his arm from behind you and placed it on his leg. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, hating the fact of how nervous Charlie still made you. But, surprisingly enough, Charlie wasn’t even your worst problem. It was Bill. The fact that Bill was sitting in front of you, with a look you knew all too well wasn’t helping.

“Sweetheart, did you hear what your father said?” you heard your other father snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Uh, what? Um, sorry I was distracted” you smiled nervously.

“Really? By what? Care to share this with the rest of the room?” Bill asked, fascinated, resting his head on his hand and you glared at him.

“Yeah. I was distracted by that stupid ugly fang in your ear” you smirked.

“Kids!” Mrs. Weasley warned the two of you, knowing how quickly you could get back into your old antics with Bill.

“Ah, you leave my fang out of this, Cassie” he laughed, making you roll your eyes.

“Cassie?” Nicholas asked, confused.

“That’s… uh your girlfriend’s middle name, mate” Charlie said as if it was obvious.

“No, I know that” you saw him glaring a little at Charlie. “But… she hates it when people call her that” he said.

“I do” you intervened. “Bill just doesn’t care” you informed him.

“Wrong! She gave me permission to be the only one to call her that” he smirked. “Isn’t that right, little Horntail?” he mocked you and you heard Charlie laugh next to you while Nicholas looked confused between them and you.

“WILLIAM!” you said, getting up. Could I see you for a moment?” you asked as politely as you could. You saw your fathers share a look between them but none of them said anything so you walked out of the room with Bill behind you. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing” he shrugged innocently.

“Bill!”

“Why are you with him?” he blurted out.

“Excuse me?”

Bill knew about your relationship with Nicholas. Actually, you had met him through Bill since Nicholas worked at Gringotts. He had never seemed happy about you two being together and you assumed he had told Charlie, but apparently, he never did.

“You heard me. Why are you still with Nicholas?”

“What do you mean still? Because I love him!”

“Do you? Really? Because I honestly cannot think of two more opposite people in this world!”

“Yes! Really! How is this any of your business?”

“I have heard you like a billion times, whenever someone asks you about him, like my mum, saying how lucky you are to be with him” he said.

“I am lucky” you argued.

“Right, lucky, not happy” he said, making you frown your eyebrows at your best friend. You sometimes hated how much Bill could read you. “You know? When you have to remind yourself how lucky you are over and over again, it’s because you’re afraid to ask yourself how happy you truly are” he told you.

“That’s not true” you argued, nervously.

“Isn’t it? How happy are you, Cass?”

“I know that Nicholas has never been your favorite person, but I am plenty happy, thank you very much!”

“You sound so convincing” he said, sarcastically “Look, love” he said getting serious, making you pay closer attention since he rarely talked to you like that. “I am not saying this to be an asshole to you or your boyfriend. But I have known you for a very long time and I love you, and I care about you, and I just want what’s best for you.”

“Bill, why are you even doing this?”

“Because I love you, and I care about you. And I have seen how much this relationship has changed you. I’m not saying is a bad thing, but each day you become a completely different person! I know you think that being with Nicholas is the right thing to do because he’s like a grown-up that has his shit together-”

“He’s like your age” you interrupted.

“But is that what you really want? I have heard him many times referring to your job as a hobby. A job that I know you love, and I know that because you gave up going to Romania with Charlie so you could pursue it. You rarely come to the Burrow anymore, do you have any idea how much everyone missed you? The twins were so excited to see you and you didn’t even play one stupid prank with them! You never say no to them, especially when they prank Charlie!” he reminded you. “Look, if you can honestly tell me that Nicholas is the man of your life and you are the happiest woman on Earth being this way, I’ll back down but we both know that the man that you’re supposed to be with, was sitting on your other side, don’t we?”

“Hey kids, we kind of need you back in there because your father wants…” Sirius said, walking out and looking at you. “Honestly, I don’t know what he wanted. I didn’t pay attention, just come back, okay?”

“Sure, Mr. Black” Bill smiled before he walked back in. You were about to follow him but your dad stopped you.

“Princess, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, dad” you said, trying to smile at him.

“Are you sure? Did the Weasley boy do something? Because-”

“No dad, Bill didn’t do anything” you rolled your eyes.

“Okay” he said, still hugging you. “You let me know if one of them is bugging you-”

“Dad!”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

You were exhausted and you spent the rest of the day avoiding everyone, really. You just wanted to be by yourself but it was hard when your house was filled with people. So, you hid in your fathers’ bedroom, knowing nobody would go there. When it was late, you finally went over to your room, hoping to find some peace, but when you opened the door you saw candles and rose petals everywhere, as Nicholas stood in the middle. Shit. You felt your stomach get twisted in knots.

“Um… honey, what’s going on?” you chuckled nervously.

“Hey, pumpkin” he said, as you walked closer to him. “I know that you have been stressed these couple of days and I wanted to do something special” he smiled.

“Oh, that’s… very sweet of you” you said, walking closer to him.

“Also, I kind of had a whole thing planned for our anniversary a few weeks ago but, then you had to go back to work and I didn’t get to do it there, and then we came here so… I thought there’s no better time than this” he said, starting to kneel down.

Oh no.

“Um, N-Nicholas,-”

“Would you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?” he asked, smiling at you and getting out a small ring box, opening it.

“I- uh” you sighed. “I don’t know what to say” you admitted.

“This is kind of the part where you say yes” he chuckled nervously.

“Honey” you said, kneeling down to his level. “I love you very much, it’s just… this is too much right now” you tried to reason with him.

“Why? I can’t think of a better time” he insisted.

“Nicholas, I… I don’t know if I’m ready for such a big step” you told him.

“So… you’re saying no?”

“N-no, I just… I guess I need to think about it” you told him.

“You need to think about it?” he asked a little upset. “We’ve been together for two years!” he said, closing the ring box and standing up. “Is it because of Weasley?”

“W-what?”

“Bill’s brother, the one that works with dragons” he continued. Maybe you hadn’t been as subtle as you thought you were.

“Charlie has nothing to do with this!”

“Doesn’t he? Do you think I haven’t noticed the way he looks at you? How he talks to you, the little nickname him and Bill have for you?”

“Bill calls me Cassiopeia! That is my least favorite name” you argued.

“You don’t even let me call you that! But you don’t seem to mind when Bill does-”

“I’ve known Bill my entire life! He’s like my annoying old brother!”

“And what about Charlie?”

“What about Charlie?”

“What went on with you two?”

“I told you we dated in school and then he left for Romania!”

“And that’s it?”

“Yes, that’s it!” you lied.

“There’s nothing else there?”

“No!”

“So, why won’t you marry me?”

“Excuse me?” you scoffed. “Is that what this is about? Are you asking me to marry you because you what? You feel threatened by Charlie?”

“That’s not what I said-”

“What is this, some sort of possessive thing that you need me to flaunt a ring around so everyone knows that I’m yours?”

“How can you say that? I want to marry you because I love you! And I want to be with you!”

“And I told you a million times that I am not ready to get married right now! I told you I love my job and I have so many opportunities now where I can travel or even move-”

“Well, yes, but we both know that once we get married and have kids your job will be more like a hobby” he chuckled. You felt your entire heart shatter as you kept repeating Bill’s words in your head. ‘We both know that the man that you’re supposed to be with, was sitting on your other side, don’t we?’

“Nicholas” you said, quietly. “I love you, but I can’t give you an answer right now” you told him. He sighed, running a hand through his dark hair.

“Fine” he said, grabbing the small box and placing it in your hand. “Then, think about it okay? I love you and I want us to be together” he insisted.

“Okay. I will think about it” you said, as he stood to give you a peck on the lips before he made his way over to your bathroom.

As soon as the door closed, you grabbed one of your sweaters, which just happened to be Charlie’s Christmas jumper you had stolen at some point, and you made your way down to the kitchen to clear your mind. You were glad that it was empty because it was already a bit late and you started making yourself some tea. When you sat on the kitchen table you heard some footsteps coming towards you and you sighed.

“Nicholas, I don’t really want to talk right now-” you stopped when you noticed someone else standing there.

“Not Nicholas, love” Charlie smiled sweetly at you. “You alright?”

“I’m fine” you said, looking at your hands as the kettle announced that the water was ready. You were going to stand up but Charlie quickly stopped you.

“Let me” he said, making his way around your kitchen as he brought two cups of tea. Yours with milk and no sugar. You smiled grabbing the mug in your hands. “So… what’s wrong?”

“Nothing-”

“Love I have known you long enough to know that you can’t sleep when you’re upset” he told you. “Remember how you always sneaked into my dorm when you couldn’t?” he smirked.

“I just… have a lot on my mind, I guess” you said, quietly, taking a sip of your perfectly prepared tea.

“So, are you going to tell me about it or are you just going to keep avoiding me?”

“What are you talking about? I haven’t been avoiding you?”

“Really? This is the first conversation we’ve had since I got here” he told you. “Come on, love, please stop pushing me away” he said, placing his hand on yours. When he did, he noticed something under your arm. “Hey, what’s that?”

“Oh, n-nothing” you said, trying to keep your arm in place but Charlie pulled it up, revealing the ring box.

“Is that what I think it is?” he asked, quietly. You felt your heart racing.

“Charlie I uh-”

“You’re getting married?” he asked, grabbing the box and smirking. But you could see in his eyes that he was far from happy about this. “Congratulations, Mrs. Pumpkin” he mocked you. You glared at him, grabbing the box from his hand.

“You’re an asshole” you said, starting to get up but he quickly followed and pulled you back.

“No, come on, love. I’m only joking” he chuckled.

“Well, it is not funny!”

“Fine. Why are you so upset? Aren’t you marrying Mr. Perfect?”

“Why do you even care about this? Is not like you have any idea what’s going on since you have been away for the past five years!”

“That is not fair! We both made that decision!”

“Exactly! So why do you even care if I am with someone else?”

“Because you can’t marry him!”

“Oh, really?” you asked starting to breathe heavily. “And why not?”

“Look, even if I am not yours, you are still my best friend and I am allowed to care about you and say something when you’re about to make the biggest mistake of your life!”

“Excuse me?”

“I did not leave you here for you to follow you to get your fucking dream job and then throw it all away when someone asks you to be his trophy wife!”

“How dare you, Charles!? How can you claim you know me so well and then assume that’s what I’m gonna do!” you snapped.

“That’s how you’re acting! Whenever you’re around him you’re an entirely different person!”

“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t end up together!”

“Oh, believe me, love. Best idea I ever made!” he snapped at you.

“And for the record, Bill is my best friend” you smirked evilly at him and he gasped offended.

“Take that back!”

“No” you shrugged and he started slowly walking closer to you.

“Take.It.Back.” he said with his deep voice between clenched teeth as you bumped into the counter behind you and he placed his hands on each side of you.

You were no longer able to ignore this. You felt how heavy your heart was pounding and you knew Charlie was the only one that made it beat like this.

“Make me” was the only thing that you were able to say before Charlie grabbed your face between his hands and he pulled you to his lips.

When his lips touched yours, the world seemed to melt away around you. Nothing mattered. Just you and him. His hands quickly started roaming around your body bringing you closer as he started deepening the kiss. It was like the first time he kissed you. Like the first time that he said he loved you. Like the first time that the two of you had sex. Nothing had changed. You couldn’t keep on denying it any longer. Your heart belonged to Charlie Weasley. You belonged with Charlie Weasley.

But then, you felt a pang of guilt pull at your heart. This was wrong. You were with Nicholas. Nicholas who had just asked you to marry him. Nicholas who was upstairs, waiting for you in your room. So, you pushed Charlie away.

“L-love” he said, breathing heavily.

“No!” you said, pushing yourself away from him and he finally let go. “I c-can’t do this, this isn’t right” you said, starting to feel sick to your stomach. You were a horrible person. “Fuck, what have I done?”

“Love, look at me” he tried, getting closer to you.

“No, don’t get near me!” you cried. “I can’t- I can’t think straight when you’re around me!” you said stepping closer to the entrance. “I need to leave” you muttered to yourself, running out of the kitchen and upstairs.

“Fuck” Charlie muttered to himself before he punched the counter.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“Hi, bug” you turned around to see one of your fathers, Remus, staring at you through his window.

“Hi dad” you smiled weakly as he climbed through the window and sat down next to you.

“What are you doing out here? Hiding?”

“No” you chuckled.

“You do know this is where you hid every time you stole the chocolate chip cookies, right?”

“Right” you smiled, looking down at yourself.

“What’s going on, bug?”

“Dad… do you think I'm a bad person?”

“What? Of course not, love why would you ask me that?”

“I did a terrible thing” you said, feeling tears streaming down your face.

“Sweetheart, whatever it is, you are not a bad person and your father and I love you very much” he insisted.

“Nicholas proposed to me” you said, taking out the small box and showing him the ring.

“And… you’re not happy about that?” he asked.

“I don’t know! I wasn’t expecting it. I don’t want to get married right now” you told him. “There are still so many things I want to do and so many places I want to go and…” you cried.

“You told him no?”

“I told him I’d think about it” you explained. “And he said it was fine, but I could tell he was upset” you said. “And so I said I needed some space and I went down to the kitchen to make some tea and then I ran into Charlie and I-” you took a deep breath. “We kissed” you told him.

“You kissed Charlie Weasley?!” the two of you turned around to find Sirius standing at the window.

“DAD!” you complained.

“Sirius, how long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough” he said, climbing outside and sitting on your other side.

“Dad, please don’t make me feel worse than I already do” you begged him.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing? Are you not happy with Nicholas?”

“I don’t know!”

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“Sirius” Remus warned.

“You two have been together for two years now and you seem perfect! You are lucky to have a guy like that!”

“See, that’s the thing! I don’t think I am! I thought I was and then Bill started saying how if I have to remind myself how lucky I am, it’s because I am afraid to ask myself how happy I really am! And then… I can’t believe I got Bill stuck in my head! But he was right! I started to question how happy I really am and I realized how much I have changed since I have been with Nicholas, and… this isn’t me! I haven’t felt like myself in so long! Since… since I was with Charlie! And so, that’s why I told him I would think about it and then I ran into Charlie and he started saying that I shouldn’t marry Nicholas and I got mad at him and we started arguing and then… we kissed and now I don’t know what to do!” you cried as Remus hugged you closer to him. “Why can't I stop thinking about Charlie?”

“Because you're scared of the first real adult relationship with the perfect man” Sirius told you.

“Or because you and Charlie still have a special connection and you still love him” Remus said, widening his eyes at his husband.

“Honey, she’s with Nicholas. We like Nicholas. Stop defending Charlie!”

“Charlie would die for our daughter, and you know that!”

“Can you guys not talk about me as if I’m not here-?”

“Why are you rooting for him? He broke our girl’s heart! And I will be dammed if I let him do it again!” Sirius snapped, making you look at your dad.

He looked defeated. And then it clicked, why your father never liked Charlie. He didn’t seem to mind him when you were in school. Only the ‘hurt my little girl and I’ll kill you’ way. But after Charlie left for Romania, you came back home and stayed with your fathers for weeks. And you had cried every single day.

“Dad… Charlie didn’t break my heart” you said, pulling out of Remus’ embrace. “We both decided to break up. I didn’t want to stop him from following his dreams of working with dragons. And I was going to go with him. But he wouldn’t let me because he knew I wanted to stay here to follow my dream” you explained. “He said that if we were meant to be together we would always make our way back to each other” you told him. “I know you don’t like him and I know that you saw how hurt I was… but that wasn’t Charlie’s fault” you insisted.

“You see, Sirius? Charlie did everything he could so our girl would follow her dreams and do what she wanted instead of following him all the way to Romania. I’m sure you would have hated that” he said as Sirius hugged you.

“Of course, I would have hated that! He would have torn my only daughter away from me” he said, kissing your head.

“See? So, it is actually thanks to Charlie that she didn’t leave. So maybe cut the boy some slack” Remus said.

“Fine” Sirius said begrudgingly. “I guess… he’s not that bad” he admitted as Remus hugged the both of you.

“Can we go back to my problem please?” you said, pushing both of them away. “I still have no idea what to do! I feel like a horrible person!”

“Sweetheart, you’re not a horrible person” Sirius insisted. “As much as it pains me to say it… I guess… I kind of understand why you still feel drawn to Charlie” he sighed. “And… you should always be able to feel like yourself with the person you love” he told you.

“You’re going to have to make a decision, honey” Remus told you.

“They are both great guys but so different! How did you guys do it?”

“I’m not gonna be any help here from the minute I saw your dad I was done for” Sirius smiled at Remus. “I knew that I had met the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and I did everything I could to make him as happy as he made me” he admitted.

“That was really sweet, dad” you smiled at Sirius before you turned to your other father. “What about you?”

“Well, first of all, I’m a sucker for guys who say things like that” Remus admitted. “And… he always helps me find the fun in life” he smiled at his husband.

“Look, sweetheart, you should just ignore everything we said and try to imagine your life with each of them and… if there’s one of the two that you just can’t live without” Sirius told you.

“Well…” you said, taking a deep breath. “With Nicholas, I guess I see a big beautiful house lined with books and interesting people coming in and out, raising kids with a brilliant man” you said with a soft smile. “And with Charlie…” you said as your parents noticed your smile getting bigger. “I see us in a cute little place that needs a ton of work” you chuckled. “And we may not have all the nicest things but… there's music and laughing and I know I can always be myself and he’ll always love me for it” you finished with a few more tears running down your cheeks. “And as much as I love Nicholas, I can see myself living without him but… I don’t think I can picture my life without Charlie” you admitted.

“Well, sweetheart, I think you just answered your question” Remus said, as he and Sirius wrapped you in a hug.

“And we support you no matter what” Sirius assured you, kissing your head. “We just want you to be happy” he said.

“I know” you smiled back at them as you stood up. “Thank you” you said, kissing each of them on the cheek. “I love you guys” you told them, moving over to the window.

Remus turned back to hug Sirius closer to him. “That was very mature of you, Pads” he said, kissing his temple.

“Please, Moony, you act as if I am still the same immature boy from school” he laughed.

“You do know that since she is choosing Charlie and she can now easily move in her job, there’s a chance this might end up with her moving to Romania, right?”

“WHAT!? I never agreed to that!”

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“Hi” you said, walking inside your room, and finding Nicholas sitting on your window nook.

“Hey” he smiled sadly at you. “I take it you couldn’t sleep either?”

“No” you admitted. “Um… I think… we need to talk” you said, grabbing the small ring box and placing it on your bed. You saw the look on Nicholas’ face and you were certain he knew what was coming was not good.

After about two hours, and the hardest conversation you had ever had since saying goodbye to Charlie, Nicholas was done packing all of his things and he walked towards the door. You had tears streaming down your face and he stopped in front of you, cupping your cheek one last time.

“I’m really sorry” you repeated. “I want you to know that I really did love you” you assured him.

“I know” he smiled like the gentleman he always was as his thumb brushed your cheek. “Just… not as much as him, right?” he said, kissing your temple. “I loved you too” he said before he opened the door and exited the room.

You followed him down the stairs where you found your fathers waiting for you. Acting as if they hadn’t just been outside your door, listening to your entire conversation.

Nicholas smiled awkwardly at them as he made his way out. “Uh, thanks for everything Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black” he told them.

“Take care, kid” Sirius told him.

"Keep in touch" Remus said, kindly before the door closed.

"I don't really see us keeping in touch" Sirius told his husband as you walked down the stairs. “How are you feeling, bug?”

“I’ve been better” you admitted, wiping away the remaining tears on your cheeks and yo sat down at the sofa. Your fathers quickly sitting next to you.

“You did the right thing, sweetheart” Remus said, kissing your head. “We’re really proud of you” he told you.

“We love you, bug” Sirius added before the three of you heard the door burst open and you saw Bill and Charlie walking in, laughing about something.

Their laughter quickly died down when they spotted you. You knew they were a bit drunk. Most likely, Charlie told Bill about what happened and Bill’s solution was to go out and drink.

“Boys” Sirius said, standing up. “Just coming in, are you?” he smirked.

“Y-you’re not gonna tell our mum, right?” Bill asked, a bit worried.

“Well-” Sirius started.

“No, we’re not” Remus said, standing up as well. Charlie’s eyes were glued to you. And your dad noticed. “Why don’t we make some coffee?” he suggested pulling his husband and the oldest Weasley with him into the kitchen. “Let these two talk” he said, ignoring the complaints from both of them.

“Hi” Charlie said, sitting down on the coffee table in front of you.

“Hi” you smiled at him as you tried to wipe some new tears away.

“Are you okay? Why are you crying?” he asked, worriedly, kneeling in front of you and placing his big hand on your cheek, making you smile sweetly at him.

“I’m okay, Charlie” you assured him.

“Love, I am really sorry for what I did” he started. “And for what I said, I had no right to talk to you that way and I had no right to kiss you, I know that I just-” he sighed.

“Charlie” you started but he kept rambling on.

“I was just scared because you are my favorite person in the entire world and not a day goes by that I don’t regret leaving you. I should have stayed here with you! I should have fought for you! Because I love you!”

“Charlie-!”

“I know I have no right to dump all of this on you right now, but I at least owe you the truth. And the truth is that I am completely, madly, and hopelessly in love with you Cassiopeia Lupin-Black” he said, making you glare at him a little. “I have been my entire life. And I know I may not be able to give you the life that Nicholas can give you but, I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone and I promise to try and make you as happy as you make me if you let me and-”

You cut him off by leaning in closer and placing your lips softly against his. Charlie was taken aback for a moment before he wrapped his arms around your waist and hugged you closer as you pulled away.

“I broke up with Nicholas” you told him.

“Y-you did?” he asked with hope waving over his heart as you nodded.

“I told him I couldn’t marry him” you explained. “A-and I love you so much, Charlie, it’s just…I just got out of a relationship. I’m a complete mess right now” you cried, smiling at him.

“I love messes. We can take this as slow as you need to, my little Horntail” he said, brushing your tears away as you chuckled. “So… that means that…”

"It's you" you said with a weary smile as Charlie wrapped his arms around your waist and you rested your head on his shoulder. "It's always been you, love" you told him, making his heart race faster when you called him that.

“Fucking finally!” Bill shouted.

The two of you turned around to see him at the entrance of the kitchen standing with Sirius and Remus before they disappeared into the room.

“We… kinda have to face them now, don’t we?” Charlie asked you, standing up and pulling you with him.

“We kinda do” you said, kissing his cheek.

“Are your dads gonna kill me?” he asked as you held his hand and started pulling him towards the kitchen.

“No” you assured him. “I promise they won’t” you smiled. You were about to enter the kitchen but Charlie pulled you to him once more, wrapping one arm around your waist and placing his hand softly on your cheek. “What?”

“I told you we will always make our way back to each other, my love” he smiled, kissing your temple. You smiled placing your head on his chest feeling completely content in his arms. This felt like home. You had never been more certain to have made the right decision. “I love you” he whispered.

“I love you too” you smiled, looking at him.

“My little Hungarian Horntail” he chuckled.

“I hate you again!”

“You love me!”

The End

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

A/N: ahhh I missed writing for Charlie so much xD I hope you all liked it! let me know what you think! Spencer’s coming up next! 

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I love obsessed oisin but I can't help but imagine quieter but equally obsessed adaine, pouring over ancient and probably cursed books looking for forbidden rituals to make oisin a full dragon or forcing him to adventure until he's a high enough level to get true polymorph to be a full dragon so that he can live as long as possible with her. seeing her grandma kissing the skull of the dragon she loved the most and imagining she won't even get a tenth of the time they had together before she's doing the same with oisin, unless she takes matters into her own hands

Anon, I ADORE this.

I love obsessive and creepy Oisin with Adaine being into it, but Adaine also being obsessive and creepy in her own way? Perfect, amazing, they're a match made in hell.

She's so much subtler about it than Oisin is, but she grew up with the awareness that nothing in the world belonged to her and then, later, that she would outlive the people she loved so she clings to everything she has with the desperation of someone who knows how easily it can all be taken away. I think, in this scenario, Adaine would've already been looking into how to extend lifespans, part of her desperately hoping that she cold crack that kind of magic and convince her friends to stay by her side.

Reconnecting with Aelwyn lessened that desperation a bit, with the assurance that she won't be completely alone as the centuries pass, but she would stil absolutely jump at the chance if any of her friends showed even the slightest bit on interest in that. With Oisin though. . . . . .

Adaine knows he's the one, the person she wants to be with forever. She spent much of her childhood listening to her grandmother wax poetry about her late wife and Adaine feels echoes of the things her grandma talked about in her relationship with Oisin, that sort of intense and burning love that makes everything else fall away. In her visions of her future, he's the one with her, the father of her children, her soulmate. And she also sees him grow old, scales getting rougher and duller while she stays young, and she knows that they'll only have a few decades together before she's alone again.

Decades. 50, maybe 60 years at the most. Adaine thinks about the thousands of years she has ahead of her and the idea of him being just a brief moment in her life is. . . devastating.

Instead of just accepting that that's her lot in life, Adaine does what she does best and starts researching. She looks into every possible way of expanding lifespans that she can think of, chasing even the tiniest lead, unearthing ancient manuscripts to pore over and looking into both "acceptable" magics and the most taboo spells possible. Deals with demons, blood sacrifices, whatever, there's no line she won't cross if it keeps Oisin by her side.

Most of her leads ended up being dead ends or methods that had to be taken off the table for one reason or another, either because they wouldn't work like she needed or because the risks were too high (like a lich ritual). Something like him changing into a true dragon would definitely be an option, but I think Adaine would only consider it if there was a way for him to be able to switch forms. She loves Oisin, loves the way she fits in his arms and loves being able hold his hand and even loves his dorky glasses. She doesn't want to completely change him.

For this AU though, since you brought up Grandma Abernant, I think she'd have her whole family's thousands of years of research into this exact topic at her disposal, her grandma more than happy to help Adaine's quest and getting the best magic users in their family on board. The fact that many of them have mortal loved ones means that pretty much everyone is eager to help.

Adaine would do her best to hide all this from Oisin, because she (ironically) doesn't want to freak him out or scare him away. Joke's on her though, once he finds out (by finding her notes in her tower or seeing correspondence from one of the other wizards she's working with or even when she breaks down after a particularly rough night and tells him everything), Oisin is fucking THRILLED and puts 110% behind helping her. He'd always known that their time together was limited by his own lifespan and though he always wants her to be happy, the idea of leaving her widowed and then her finding love with someone else is enough to make him spit lightning and rage worse than when he had the shatter-star; knowing that she wants him just as much as he wants her is a weight off his shoulders. Even becoming a full dragon is on the table as far as he's concerned, though obviously he'd prefer something a bit less. . . incompatible with Adaine's own body.

With the two of them, and their many contacts and their families' wealth and hoards of knowledge, they'll figure it out eventually :)

[k-looking-glass-house]

Sam Fairy Gala~ Flower and moonlight

Gah I'm a bit shy to share my "crazy" lore" about twisted wonderland, but you already know that I love making outfits.... Kinda the reason my mascot/"oc" can sew and create outfit.... I also have an obsession with the NRC staff.....hnnnnnnnn *help them*

Anyway in my lore Sam was an NRC student for only his 3rd years (around 17/18 y.o), getting his mage certificate and taking shortly after the shop! He already has his familiar K and tried all sort of way to get very rare items during his scholarship!

Mister Crewel was the almost futur NRC alchemy teacher, he tried an only girls school before thinking it would be only cutie, soft stuff and talk.... While it was only cat fight to panthers/lioness fight and love letters, with some crybabies moments (that's what he said!). He returned to his former school making Trein already tired about the situation! He tried each time to put every puppies in good stylish outfit!

Mister Crewel took a soft spot about Sam (knowing since his teenage days about Sam's grandfather and the shop) and vice versa. They help each other to get items they want (actually they kept from spilling:blackmailing the fact that they both smoke behind Mystery S shop, catching the other by surprise from time to time)~ And so Mister Crewel helped Sam getting some fairy powder, while K would help with sewing the fairies's dresses and they would both promote his fashion collection during the next Fairy Gala~

In the end the fairy gala is a success, K is revealed to eat blot (canon to her disney counterpart), Mister Crewel has fairy blood and can't stand alcohol and Sam believe in fairy tale and has one of the pure heart a fairy could sense (the Fairy Queen said so).

You can see more of it ....somewhere on my tumblr ah ah

Sam (NRC student)~ SR Moonlight De Vil suit

Summon Line: "Even shadows appear under the moon light, gnee hihihi" Groooovy!!: ....Finally....FINALLY HA HA HA!! I got the fairy powder! Home: I am ready, so are my friends on the other side gnee hihi~ Home Idle 1: I must say that when Mister Crewel told me that he could help....I didn't believe it at first! Looks like everyone has their secret! Home Idle 2: Fairies are truly something, my sisters* were right about them, back in our childhood stories! Home Idle 3: This night is truly something, between Mister Crewel "STAY!" and K making him berseck....*sigh* I must stay strong and not get eaten by shadows~ Home Idle - Login: Glitters! Jewel! Silk!! IN STOCK NOW! That's what I would say if I was a seller! Home Idle - Groovy: Thank you Ko-yousei-chan! Yes I'll give you Mister Crewel personal jewel designer contact~ Gnee hihi! Home Tap 1: Mister Crewel is part of the De Vil fashion's house, that's truly something, no wonder he has such style! Home Tap 2: If you want to attract fairies, be kind, be nice, be polite and pour a lot of glittery things! ....Also being handsome help! Home Tap 3: I don't need a bell to talk to fairies, we learned it with grandma it's important to talk to any kind of friends gnee hihi!! How? It's a secret, I'm not going to tell you! Home Tap 4: Arwwghhrr K please stop eating the flower, we'll get scold again by "KURUELLA"! Also stop eating the remain blot TOO!! Home Tap 5: I'll be sure to make good use of that fairy powder! Home Tap - Groovy: Ha ha ha! Somehow it was a good night! We had a lot of fun! Right everyone?!

.....we don't even see the lotus pattern huh....

-Credit-

Sam fairy gala (young version) concept done by me

The lanther bell was ref from "Handbook of ornament; a grammar of art, industrial and architectural designing in all its branches, for practical as well as theoretical use" (1900)

[buckyseddie]

tragic endings

pairings — logan (james) howlett x fem!human!reader

summary — in which, after she takes in a young, troubled mutant in and vows to protect her from all dangers that she seems to be in, she meets the famously-brooding wolverine, who unexpectedly changes her life.

word count — 16.2k.

warnings — mentions of reader suffering through parental neglect and abuse as a child and having LOADS of trauma (LOTS of heavy hints of ptsd too!), mentions of reader taking some lives in order to protect laura and carrying a LOT of guilt, ANGST (obviously, because this isn't a happy ending type of fic), some fluff in it though, reader's in her early twenties, character death and self-sacrifice, equal pining, kisses, use of pet-names [kid, sweetheart, doll], mentions of the reader being depressed and having anxiety and also being suicidal / wanting to die, also a little bit of logan and the reader posing as laura's parents, reader has abandonment and codependency issues, reader also has raging anger issues.

notes — i have one word to describe this fic: long. it is going to be VERY long. also, i love that i finally finish this right as i find out that my grandma passed away... we love grief! gif and divider creds to owner!

p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.

main masterlist

IT'S SORT OF... COMPLICATED. ALL she knows, is that she feels something — something she can't quite explain — for the little girl that has suffered through so much pain and loss.

how could someone who suffered through so much pain at the hands of her own parents could become a motherly figure to a misunderstood little girl? well, maybe it's just because she couldn't help it.

she may have had a rough childhood, but [y/n] could just feel it in her heart that laura needed someone to show her that she mattered — that she was worth the hard journey of making it out of everything alive.

so, is it really that hard to see why she would do anything to get her safe? even go to the older, grumpy — clearly retired — wolverine for help?

"look, kid. you seem like you've got good intentions. but, i can't afford to have anymore trouble by helping you and the girl out." logan grumbles, after laura had arrived to knock out the asshole that dared try to mess shit up for him, charles, and caliban.

[y/n] sighs, trying to keep an eye on laura, who has just now begun to walk over to charles. "i can't say i don't get it. because... i do," she sympathetically states, understanding that he just wants to be left alone from all the danger that being a mutant brings.

with another sigh, she watches the young girl interact with charles with a sense of comfort, before turning back to face the older man, who's been watching her warily. "look, i know she's not my daughter — not by blood. but, i love her like she's my own. and she doesn't deserve to be hunted down and killed like a monster. she's done nothing wrong."

"so, i'm only asking you to get us somewhere safe, where we can travel away from on our own. i'll pay you whatever and however much you want. but, i'm not abandoning her — i'm going to protect her with everything i have, for as long as possible."

there's a moment of silence as he doesn't say anything. but, after realizing that his silence is his answer, [y/n] nods wordlessly, trying not to get emotional over the fact that she and laura are on their own to find somewhere safe for them to go.

"right. like i said, i get it." she mumbles, sighing.

an unexpected look of regret flashes in logan's eyes, but [y/n] doesn't see it, due to motioning for laura to come over to her.

a look of disappointment takes over the little girl's expression as [y/n] turns back to face the wolverine. "look, i'm sorry for bothering you about this. clearly... this was both a mistake and a waste of time." she murmurs as laura comes up from behind her and grabs her hand.

"and i hope these guys," she stops to point to the unconscious man still lying on the ground. "don't give you any more trouble."

he sighs and nods, still watching her warily as he begins to wonder why a human would risk so much — and her life — just to protect this little girl that he's been growing more curious about by every passing second.

he also finds her a little bit annoying, but nevertheless, it's all the same amount.

with no other words being said between them, [y/n] gives him a forced and fake smile, hoping that she doesn't make him feel guilty for not being able to help them, as she gently tugs on laura's hand to tell her that it's time for them to go.

as they walk further away, logan begins to wonder if he made a mistake — for not agreeing to help them.

after all, it's always been a first instinct and part of his nature to help and protect people. or at least, when he had been part of the x-men team.

—————

THE NEXT TIME THEY MEET, it's a few days later — after logan, charles, and caliban had been attacked by the group called alkali-transigen for the second time.

caliban had been captured by this group, while logan and charles were able to escape in logan's crappy limo-like car.

the two men had found laura and [y/n] sitting in an alley. laura was fast asleep, lying her head on the older woman's shoulder.

[y/n] shivers, tugging the tiny blanket further over laura's sleeping form as the sound of the limo pulls up near the entrance.

worried that they're found again by the cruel men that just wouldn't leave them alone, [y/n] cautiously pops open an eye, brows furrowing. she leans forward, trying to get a better look.

but, she stops suddenly as she notices logan stepping out of his car, confusion filled on his face. "logan? w—what are you doing here?"

"kid, why didn't you tell me that you guys didn't have anywhere else to go?" he asks her once he gets to the actual entrance of the alley.

she shrugs, sitting up now as she tries to ignore the cold weather. "i could tell you didn't want to be bothered. i thought it would've just been easier if i lied." she murmurs, stopping completely as laura begins to stir a bit in her sleep.

once the young girl has stopped moving in her sleep completely, [y/n] impulsively decides to move to stand up, in order to give the young girl all the room she needs.

so, within a few cautious and quiet seconds, she slowly moves herself away and moves laura to the side, before placing her jacket under her head to use as a pillow.

with a prolonged, nervous sigh, [y/n] then takes in a relieved inhale as the little girl falls right back to sleep without any further disturbance.

"you know, if i knew you guys had nowhere else to go... " logan trails off when she turns to finally face him.

with another sigh leaving her, [y/n] lightly grabs onto his arm — in which, who flinches for more than a second — before leading him over to the front of his parked car.

"look, logan. we both know that you probably would have still said no." she murmurs, making sure to keep an eye on laura every few seconds while speaking with him.

logan sighs, knowing that she is right — no matter how many times he wishes to believe otherwise.

but, there's also another part of him that knows that he would probably help her and laura in a heartbeat, if he weren't growing slowly weak every day. but, he is — it both slows him down and makes it hard for him to help them to his full potential.

he opens his mouth to say something, but charles, who'd rolled down his window from inside the car before and heard the twos' conversation, interrupts him, "logan, they need our help — we should help them."

with a small smile almost curving onto her lips, [y/n] sighs. she knows that she can't just drag him and logan into this. it just wouldn't be fair.

"no, please. it's really alright. i don't want to put you guys in this complicated situation." she murmurs, just as laura stirs again in her sleep.

charles shrugs his shoulder, as if he wouldn't mind if they got dragged into it. but, then again, he's never been one to turn down the chance to help others when they need it.

"really, guys... it's okay. laura and i will manage on our own." she murmurs as she turns to walk back over to the little girl and gently and carefully pick her up.

as she faces them and walks back over to logan with laura still in her arms, covered up in both [y/n]'s jacket and blanket, logan furrows his brows. "are you sure?"

the concern in his voice shocks her, but she waves it off as him just trying to be polite. "y—yeah. we'll be fine." she nods, gulping down her pride as she lies through her teeth, once again.

in a way, she's grateful that he'd said earlier that he couldn't help her and the girl. i mean, [y/n] is the type of person to deal with her own issues and problems by herself, instead of choosing to burden people with them — her words, not mine.

her going to logan for help was really just a moment of weakness. she was desperate — only wanting to do whatever she could to try every possibility that would protect laura and get them anywhere safe.

truthfully, the main reason why she's lying to them about really needing their help, is the fact that she feels guilty — it's already obvious that logan feels regretful that he didn't agree to help them.

and guilt-tripping them — mostly logan — that was never her intention. so, if she has to lie to make him feel better about the situation, then that's what she's going to do.

"you don't have to lie, [y/n]. there's nothing wrong with admitting when you need help." charles tells her from his side of the open window.

the young woman mentally slaps her hand to her forehead in irritation over forgetting that the extremely older man is psychic.

she stutters, hating that she can't hide the truth from them. "i... i just don't want to be a burden. and... i don't know what i'd do if either of you got seriously hurt because you guys decided to help us — everyone gets hurt when they get involved with me."

with a relentless sigh, logan simply nods to the car. "we'll figure it out, okay? just get in."

she hesitates for a moment, wondering if dragging them into this mess is really the right answer.

after all, she knows that if either of them gets hurt — in any way — because of her, she'll never forgive herself.

but, as laura recklessly jumps down from [y/n]'s arms, causing a shocked gasp to leave her, and runs over to the other door opposite of the one charles is sitting behind, she sighs.

both [y/n] and logan share a look of a tiny bit of amusement.

with a tired yawn, she shrugs her shoulder, knowing that she won't be able to change the little girl's mind now as she opens the door and slides in.

"i... guess laura would like to take you guys up on that offer. so, i'm not really in a place to say no now." she mutters as logan leads her to the front of the car.

if only they had known all the bigger trouble they'd all have to endure in the future, all because they allowed the possibility of helping them become a reality.

—————

AFTER MANY DIFFERENT NIGHTS OF passing through different towns, logan finally stops at a gas station that's in the middle of nowhere.

[y/n] follows laura over to one of the electric horses, while logan and charles stay back in the car. as she leads laura up and over the horse to sit down, [y/n] places some quarters into the machine.

"there you go," she murmurs, giving the younger girl a warm smile. "now, i'm going inside to use the bathroom. i'll be back in a few minutes, okay?"

the girl silently nods as [y/n] hesitates to leave her alone.

but, nevertheless, after realizing that, not only are they all in the clear — for now — but logan and charles will surely watch her for a few minutes, while she's in the bathroom.

with the positive thoughts swirling around in her head, [y/n] finally walks over to the door, before walking inside.

after asking the person at the front of the store where the bathroom is, he points in the direction of where it is, and [y/n] races off in that direction in a hurry as she really needs to use the bathroom.

the young woman tries to pee as fast as she can, considering that they're all still on the run and practically fugitives at this point.

then, as she walks over to the sink, she rinses off and washes her hands. but, as she sees all the blood — from the previous days of running into trouble with the group that had started all of this — dried up on both her hands, arms, and face, panic begins to quickly sink in.

to protect laura, [y/n] had to take extra precautions and do whatever she could, to do just that.

not only had she been injured, but she had also had to do two things she'd always said she'd never do — learn how to shoot guns and really any other weapons, all the while also having to take some lives.

it was self-defense, of course. but, still.

the guilt and trauma she's endured because of the fact that she's killed some people... well, it's taken too much of a toll on her.

all she kept thinking was, how can i live with myself, after all the things i've done?

she still thinks this as she tensely and harshly tries to scrub all the blood away.

[y/n] has always dealt with self-image issues and her internal hatred for herself — especially, with growing up in the toxic household that she had as a kid. but, this? it's extra new and multiplied now.

shaky breaths and unshed tears escape her as she looks up at herself in the mirror this time.

but, just before the negative thoughts can become any worse, there's a knock on the bathroom door.

[y/n]'s head snaps up in the direction of the door, more panic filling her. "just a minute!" she yells to the person on the other side of the door as she tries to scrub harder to get the blood off.

her breaths become more panicked as logan's voice speaks up from outside. "[y/n], i'm coming in."

her eyes widen in both surprise and shock. as the door slowly opens, she panics and turns around, so that she's leaning against the sink and is hiding her hands behind her back.

just as he walks inside, [y/n] lets out a shaky, "h—hey. is everyone... ready to go?"

however, logan doesn't reply to her. he only steps closer to her as he crosses his arms over his chest with confusion swirling around in his eyes. "what's going on? did something happen?"

she abruptly shakes her head, dipping her head down to avoid showing any weakness. "everything's f—fine."

"don't lie to me. what's going on?" he asks her once more, stepping even closer to her, to the point of them only being a few inches away from each other.

with a sigh of defeat, [y/n] shakily pulls her hands out from behind her back. "i... i can't get the blood off — their blood. it won't come off." she whispers shakily.

he frowns, stepping even closer to her.

the young woman's breath catches in her throat as the space between them decreases by every passing second.

though, the concerned look in his eyes scares [y/n].

as someone who's never experienced someone worrying about her and her well-being in her entire life, just the thought of someone actually taking care of her, terrifies her, to be completely honest.

they stare at each other for a long moment, before logan slowly reaches for a paper towel and moves over closer to one of the sinks and turns it on to run the paper towel through some water. then, he brings the towel back to her and starts to gently scrub her hands and arms.

within a few minutes, he has successfully gotten the blood off of her hands, arms, and face. as he throws the paper towel away, her gaze softens as he steps away from her to give her her space.

"t—thank you." she murmurs raspily, trying to act as if she hadn't let him see her in such a vulnerable state.

he simply nods hesitantly, now stuck in his thoughts.

when they had first met, he — no matter how many times he's tried to ignore it — had become just slightly curious about her.

but, now? he can't help but find himself completely consumed with the feeling of concern and curiosity over her.

after another long moment of them just looking at one another, [y/n] finally snaps herself out of her daze, shaking her head in silent embarrassment. "i... i think i'm going to find laura and get back to the car. i think i've been in here long enough, right?" she tries to crack a joke, desperately needing to change the subject.

logan nods once more, before motioning to the door as he waits for her to leave first.

once she's officially out of the bathroom and through the hall, he follows after her.

though, before either of them can actually leave the building, both adults find them watching a very shocking scene playing before them.

laura has her claws grown out of her skin, and she holds down the current worker of the small gas station, an angry look placed on her face.

"oh, god..." [y/n] trails off, sharing a similar expression with logan.

as the young girl yells out, [y/n] snaps her head towards that direction and her eyes widen in shock and surprise.

then, she races over to the two of them, and gently pulls laura away from the man. her grasp immediately falls away from the man's when [y/n]'s gentle touch connects with her body.

"laura!" she murmurs in a slight lecturing tone, though it's still gentle. "you can't do stuff like that. you can't hurt innocent people, okay? you understand me?"

after a moment, the little girl finally nods and in a matter of seconds, her claws retract back into the skin of her knuckles.

[y/n] sighs in relief, before leading her back to the car, while logan stays inside for a few more minutes.

later that night, they arrive at a hotel. both [y/n] and laura fall fast asleep the second they reach their bed.

logan, however, struggles to stay asleep.

—————

SHE WAKES UP IN THE middle of the night, breathless gasps and hyperventilating breaths leaving her.

as she continues to struggle to breathe, she notices the little girl, who’s lying beside her, is still fast asleep. 

she runs a shaky hand through her slightly knotted up and greasy hair as her heart begins to beat faster than ever and her breaths become much more panicked. 

if only she didn’t have that nightmare — of all the lives she’s taken to protect laura. it’s a relentless, repetitive terrifying dream that she has been having almost every night, ever since it happened.

with another moment of her panicking state becoming much more worse, she shakily and quietly — as much as she can — takes off her blanket and rushes off in the direction of the bathroom. 

too buried deep in her panicked thoughts and the flashbacks that the nightmare has provided for her, she doesn’t even notice the wolverine sitting in the other room that leads to the bathroom.

she only stumbles into the bathroom and quietly shuts the door. 

as she slides down the door, she doesn’t even realize that the light is still off. she’s only focused on trying to not go into full panic mode, or worse, slip off of the edge and begin to have a panic attack. 

but, it’s quite too late for that.

she’s already slipping and losing all of her control over her breathing. another painful and breathless sob leaves her lips and her head falls to lean against the door as she clenches her eyes shut. 

the tears fall carelessly down her cheeks and she cries out in frustration. god, she hates crying. it has always made her feel weak.

she shakily stands up as she quickly flicks the light switch on. but, as she looks into the mirror and sees her wrecked appearance, another shaky breath escapes her lips. 

[y/n]’s brows furrow and more tears cloud her eyes.

then, out of nowhere, she slams her hands down onto the counter repeatedly. the loathing hatred she feels for herself grows and grows by every passing second. 

more tears blur her vision, the shaky breaths still leaving her lips.

though, before she can panic even more, there’s a light knock on the other side of the door. 

“kid? everything okay in there?” logan’s voice calls out through the door and it — fortunately — snaps [y/n] out of her panicked daze. at least, for the moment. 

“w—what?” she stutters out in an answer to his question. she holds her breath as she waits for him to say what he wants to.

“are you okay?” 

the tone of concern shocks [y/n] as she chokes on her answer, “y—yeah, i’m… uh, i’m fine.” 

there’s only silence for the first few minutes. but then, suddenly, the door knob is being turned and logan is slowly entering.

he shuts the door behind him as he turns to face her with crossed arms and a look as if to say, 'i know you’re not fine'.

“i know you’re lying. why can’t you sleep?”

she stays silent, eyes falling to the floor as she leans against the counter. 

“well?” he asks, causing her to snap her head back up at him.

“it’s nothing… i—” she abruptly cuts herself off, inhaling deeply. she dips her head down in shame as she tries to calm herself down.

"i just... had another nightmare. that's all." she mumbles as she lifts her head back up to look at him.

he sighs with a nod. "do you wanna talk about it?" he asks, not being able to help but feel a little worried about her.

as she notices this look on his face, something in her brings her butterflies. [y/n] gulps nervously, before shaking her head.

despite, trusting him now — a bit more than she had before — she just can't let him in, yet. and she knows that he can understand that more than anyone else.

he nods.

silence fills the room as they stare at each other with different emotions consuming them.

while logan still feels a bit worried about her well-being, [y/n] watches him with a wary expression, trying to figure him out.

"well, um... thank you — for checking in on me. but, i promise, i'm okay," she murmurs, anxiously running a hand through her tangled-up hair. "i'm always okay."

despite, [y/n] sounding really genuine, logan doesn't believe her for a second. but, he doesn't say anything about it.

after another moment of complete silence, [y/n] clears her throat. "well... i should go back to bed." she says, nodding to the door, causing logan to snap out of his own concerned thoughts.

he nods and drops his arms from his chest, before moving to twist the doorknob and pulls the door open.

he lets her pass him as she hurries back to her and laura's bed.

though, as she lies back down and stares at the hotel room’s ceiling, a soft smile finds it's way to her lips as she remembers how concerned about her he's been acting lately.

she may not still completely trust him.

but, for him to grow concerned for her? that's quite a big development on his part.

[y/n] falls asleep with that same smile on her lips.

—————

SHE SLEEPS A LOT BETTER. so much so that she sleeps through the entirety of the next day.

the only time where she actually wakes up, is when — while logan went off to find a better car for them, since the limo's already been seriously damaged — a few men, who were sent from the psychopath that's been hunting both [y/n] and laura in the first place, showed up at the hotel room.

unfortunately, right when she does wake up, charles begins to have a seizure. it not only stops the bad men from harming laura, but it also does the same for everyone else.

the entire process is especially more harmful to [y/n], considering that she's only human, after all.

lucky for her, logan arrives soon after, taking care of some of the men, before laura assists with giving him charles' shot that's supposed to help with the seizures.

once charles has officially calmed down, [y/n] takes in a deep breath.

but, as she stands up, she loses her balance, when her legs give out, taking much more of a hit than anyone could've anticipated.

she lets out a groan as she clutches her head in pain, suddenly being hit with a wave of throbbing pain.

as she continues to struggle to deal with the pain, both laura and logan watch her in worry.

while logan turns to face charles, who wears a very regretful expression, and gives him a pointed glance, laura races over to [y/n] and silently worries about her.

as she tries to breathe through the pain, she notices the little girl's presence near her and decides to place her now sweaty hands over hers, in order to calm her down.

"it's... okay — i'm okay. i promise." her voice comes out in a croaky whisper as she begins to slowly stand up.

surprise flashes in her eyes as she notices the crazy amount of concern and worry in logan's eyes.

he steps forward to help her, but she holds up a hand, before he can get any closer.

"don't worry about me. i'm fine." she murmurs, trying to ignore the pain that is still consuming her body.

logan raises a single brow at her, challenging her to tell the truth as he notices her wince in further-more pain. "you sure about that? because you don't look like you're okay." he steps forward once more.

before she can answer him, her head throbs, once more.

it causes her to stop completely and dip her head down in pain as she presses her hand to her forehead.

"[y/n]?" he calls out as he steps closer her, the rest of the people in the room becoming much more concerned for her as she sighs shakily.

"i..." she trails off breathlessly as she begins to feel so much more light-headed and becomes a bit nauseous. "i don't understand why it's like this... "

"like what?"

"why it hurts so much..." she whispers as her legs finally give out and everything goes dark.

—————

THE MOMENT SHE WAKES, SHE notices that she's no longer inside the hotel room they were in before she'd passed out.

she begins to panic after realizing that she doesn't recognize the room she's been currently sleeping in for god knows how long.

her heart beat picks up in a fast pace as she looks around in confusion and stress.

though, before she can actually find herself in a worse panicking state, the door of the room slowly opens.

as soon as she realizes that it's logan, [y/n] sighs in relief. "thank god." she whispers to herself as he slowly shuts the door behind him, before walking over to the bed she's currently lying on.

"you alright? you know, you look really stressed right now." he asks as he sits down on the edge of the bed, eyebrows already furrowing together in concern.

she sputters once more, glancing around the room again, before turning back to face him.

"w—where are we? i don't recognize this room... and it's honestly stressing me out. especially, since the last time i was awake, it was inside the hotel room and now i'm here — where i don't recognize anything." she rambles, furrowing her brows as she tries to catch her breath from talking so much.

he chuckles in amusement, before shaking his head at her in response.

"doll, you don't need to worry or stress about that. the explanation is pretty simple," he states as she waits for him to go on.

"after you passed out from what happened in the hotel room with charles and all those men, we had to leave to ensure that that group didn't get to you and laura. so, we left and ended up helping this family and they've offered to let us stay here for the night. we'll be leaving early in the morning, alright?"

after hearing his explanation, she sighs in relief. “oh… okay. that makes sense.”

he nods, staying silent as he stares at her with an expression filled with worry and concern — something that’s become a very familiar look lately. especially, when it comes to her. 

in the past — maybe today, even — he would've told anyone that he would never fall in love again, or even, in this situation, at least, grow genuine, protective instincts and to care for another person.

and when you have the type of haunting past — like he does — it's understandable.

[y/n], sensing his eyes on her, looks up, brows furrowing.

she tilts her head to the side in confusion, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"w—what?" she stutters out nervously, quickly beginning to wonder what's going on inside of his troubled head.

logan tries his best to shake the feelings and new — for him, anyways — thoughts away. "nothing." he mumbles, clearing his throat and cutting off the new moment between them.

it's quiet for a moment, before the door opens, only to reveal both laura and charles.

once laura realizes that the older woman is now awake, relief floods to her face, before she's racing over to the bed and crushing [y/n] into a bone-tight hug.

"oof!" she lets out, trying to ignore just how tight the little girl is hugging her as she hugs her back.

after a second, she laughs in a form of appreciation — she's never felt so loved before, considering how she was treated as a growing child.

"i promise i'm okay. and i will be for a very long time — you never have to worry about losing me. okay?" she murmurs quietly, before the younger girl finally pulls away from her with a protective look shining in her eyes.

"she was quite worried for you." charles says from his place, sat in his wheelchair.

[y/n] nods, feeling guilty for making her worry as a frown takes over the place on her lips.

"and... i'm terribly sorry for putting you in that situation and putting your life in danger." he continues, his facial expression obviously filled with only regret and guilt.

the young woman's face quickly becomes confused.

"oh, charles... that wasn't your fault. and i don't blame you for it." she states in a soft voice, sending him an appreciative smile.

the wolverine scoffs, as if he doesn't quite share the same opinion as her.

his tone of voice is bitter as he speaks again, making how he feels known, "maybe you should."

[y/n] tilts her head to the side in further confusion. "what? how could this be his fault? it can't be his fault, if he can't control when it happens." she says, quickly coming to the eldest man's defense.

"i mean... you can't possibly believe that he wants to hurt anyone. and having these moments of out-of-control seizures can hurt them."

logan only rolls his eyes. "whatever." he mutters, not wanting to argue with her, before he glances towards the door.

"we should go check and see if they've finished making dinner yet." he mumbles as laura hurries to help [y/n] out of the bed.

she chuckles, before shaking her head.

"it's okay, sweetheart. i'm okay to walk." she murmurs softly as the little girl simply nods silently in understanding.

as [y/n] makes her way over to the door, limping and wincing every few seconds, logan, charles, and laura watch in clear concern, but she only ignores it.

she doesn't want to be any more of a victim — not anymore.

her only fate is to be able to protect laura and get her across the border — that's all she's going to be.

logan backs up, pulling charles with him as he keeps a good grip on the handles of the chair, while [y/n] slowly and eventually pulls the door open.

with an excited smile, she turns to them with a hand motioning towards the open doorway and backs away, in order for them to get through. "here we go!"

laura claps excitedly as logan pushes the old telepath through.

as soon as they're out and making their way into the kitchen, [y/n] and laura walk through the doorway and follow after them.

laura lets go of [y/n]'s hand as soon as she gets to her chair, practically throwing herself into it in pure excitement.

the older woman inhales nervously, becoming a little anxious about meeting these seemingly nice folks for the first time.

she lifts her hand up and into the air, giving them a small wave.

"hi. um, i'm [y/n]," she nervously says, nodding towards laura.

"i'm laura's mother." she explains further as the brunette woman laughs and waves her shyness off.

"it's so nice to officially meet you — laura's spoken so highly of you. i'm glad you're doing a lot better than before." she kindly says, nodding to an empty seat, the one next to where logan is now sitting.

[y/n] takes in a deep breath as logan still continues to watch her every move in clear worry, before she takes the seat and sends the much older woman a warm smile.

"thank you. yes, i'm doing and feeling a lot better now."

after the family says their grace, logan and [y/n] glance at one another, not even realizing how much they seem to be looking at each other.

as laura begins to eat — quite messily, too, might i add — logan steps in with a frown and a glare.

he reaches over with his hand and taps her shoulder to get her attention.

then, he gives her her fork, quickly motioning for her to use it properly.

seeing this herself, [y/n] giggles, only finding amusement in watching her.

"i'm... so sorry about laura. as you can clearly see, we're still trying to teach her how to have proper manners."

hearing the 'we' part of her statement, logan gives a gruff agreement, quickly realizing that the woman is going for the wife-and-husband-with-their-daughter cover.

though, it's quite obvious that both adults are their own versions of flushed over the idea of them actually being together — or being a couple.

the older couple simply waves it off, not being ones to judge.

after all, all families are different, right?

though, as laura starts pouring big, big loads of food onto her plate, logan has to interfere, obviously. again.

"there's plenty more, if she'd like some more." katherine offers, nodding over to the younger girl, who's now glaring and pouting at logan.

he shakes his head, mumbling that she's had more than enough.

[y/n] can't help but let a small laugh escape her.

but, after realizing how childish she must seem in the moment, her eyes widen in shock over her own impulsive action, and then clasps her hands over her mouth to keep anything else from escaping.

the famous wolverine stops frowning at laura, only to turn to look over at [y/n] with a raised brow as a response to her childishness.

she laughs again, at the look placed on his face.

after all the time they've spent together — and obviously, the feelings that have shifted between them — she can't take him seriously. not anymore, at least.

although he looks like he's just about ready to lecture her, she knows deep down that he couldn't get mad at her over something so minor.

and another part of her just hopes that maybe he feels the same about her that she feels for him and that he couldn't bear to be angry at her for that long.

logan glares at her once more, though it's more playful than anything else.

as she notices everyone watching their seemingly normal exchange, [y/n] clears her throat as her face instantly turns beat-red at the attention they're receiving.

"uh, sorry." she genuinely apologizes to katherine and her husband.

katherine laughs herself as laura and charles join in. "there's no need to apologize. i think you and james make quite the couple."

[y/n]'s face heats up, once more, at the compliment. "o—oh, thank you." she stutters nervously, tucking a stray strand of her hair behind her ear as logan's gaze catches hers.

this time, though, their eye contact is very much different than any of the others they've shared — this one gives off both admiration and genuine care over the other.

charles, however, decides to cut the moment short, after noticing the pair of adults' undeniable connection, when he accidentally hears both of their own thoughts.

[y/n] is not only flushed on the outside, but also on the inside — she wonders anxiously if anything could ever happen between them, or if it's just her that feels this way.

and logan? well, he's trying to act like she doesn't have a single effect on him at all — he's trying to stay professional about this all and fight against how he truly feels.

a small smirk tugs at the psychic's lips, before he breaks the silence, "yes, my son and [y/n] truly do make quite a great couple — they're actually quite perfect for each other."

[y/n]'s face turns even redder — if that's even possible — while logan glares at the side of charles' face.

but, after a moment, both logan and [y/n] realize that the rest of the family — and charles and laura — are watching them carefully and closely.

"yeah, we are perfect for each other. i'm just happy to be with him and to have laura and charles — this family means everything to me." the young woman states, no lies evident in her tone of voice — she speaks the truth in her words, even if it's all just for a cover that won't be permament.

something in logan changes when he hears her truthful words, a small smile — a grateful one — appearing on his lips as he stares at only her with a gentle look in his eyes.

without another thought, he nods and says his own version of the truth, despite the fact that he hasn't wanted to get attached to either her or laura, in the first place, "you know i feel the same, sweetheart."

his tone of voice comes out gruff, but [y/n] senses the truth in it and smile at him as she places one of her hands over his.

they both fall into the moment, completely forgetting about everyone else, almost as if the entire world falls away, when it's just them.

katherine smiles at them with admiration.

"you know how i know you two are truly perfect for each other?" she asks, breaking the moment between them as they glance over at her in confusion.

"you look at each other like you're the other's world — and that's true love." she continues as [y/n] laughs nervously, before murmuring a 'thanks'.

logan watches her once more, before katherine's husband asks where they're heading after this.

he snaps himself out of his daze as both he and charles reply with completely different locations.

"uh," logan starts, but [y/n] laughs and cuts the two men off, "sorry. apparently, there's been some miscommunication!" she laughs once more, trying to make a joke out of it.

katherine laughs with her.

"are you guys going on some kind of extended-vacation?"

after a moment, [y/n] nods, choosing to just go with it. "we're going to be going to both oregon and south dakota."

charles nods along with her.

"yes, it's a very long overdue vacation," he pauses as both logan and [y/n] nod in agreement. "we're city folk — always wanted to see the country. and meet the people in it."

logan watches the exchange, noticing how comfortable both charles and [y/n] are about speaking about a vacation.

needless to say, they all deserve a vacation — away from all the complicated situations they've been in lately.

"that's lovely." katherine nods in agreement as everyone continues to eat.

"i've been trying to get will here to take a vacation for years—"

will interrupts, quickly bringing up that they'd not be able to take care of their property, if they went on vacation.

katherine replies to this by telling him they need to sell the property.

[y/n] laughs at their interaction, never before seeing an actual healthy couple before — her parents, after all, didn't have a healthy relationship at all.

they continue to argue, before their son interrupts them, "i could drop out of school!"

"let's not go that far." katherine says to him seriously as he just laughs it off.

"i mean, i'll do it."

"no."

"why not?"

something in logan's face changes as he watches the normal family exchange between them all.

his gaze goes over to laura, something changing immediately.

[y/n] notices this and smiles, hoping that he truly does care about her and laura, like she hopes he does.

"now, why would you want to do that, nate?" charles asks genuinely and [y/n] can't help it as she lets out a giggle.

"you might want to be careful with answering that question, nate. charles here, was a professor that ran a very important school." she announces in an amused tone of voice.

"a lot of years, right, charles?" logan asks, finding some entertainment in this topic of conversation, as well.

charles waves him off, trying not to make a big deal out of it.

though, just as he begins to agree politely, [y/n] begins to experience some more sharp pains in her head.

this time, though, it's much more extreme than before.

then, she's suddenly pushing back from the chair as she stands up, catching everyone's now concerned looks.

"i... i'm sorry. i think... i need to lie down — it seems that i'm still having some headaches." she murmurs in an embarrassed tone as she starts to sway slightly and her eyesight gets blurry and splotchy.

logan immediately stands up, becoming much more worried than before.

he places a hand over her back and the other on her shoulder as she begins to groan in pain — she's never felt headaches this bad before.

"i'm going to help her get back upstairs." he announces, not caring if he seems rude, his attention completely on the young woman in pain.

"yes, you should," katherine agrees, after standing up and placing her hand up to [y/n]'s forehead.

she frowns at how warm she is. "she's burning up. she really should lie down — maybe, just for a little bit, or until y'all leave tomorrow morning."

logan doesn't say anything in response. though, he understands what she's saying and is mentally agreeing himself.

[y/n] gulps guiltily, both feeling bad for all of the issues her health is causing and because she really doesn't understand why she's been in so much pain recently.

for only a moment, she leans her head against logan's chest, the sudden nausea becoming way too much for her in the moment.

logan, not quite expecting such an open and vulnerable action from her, breathes in a deep breath as he allows the physical contact. only because it's her.

"alright," he suddenly says, wrapping one of his arms around her waist and turning to face katherine.

"i'll be back to help laura and charles to bed." he states, nodding to them, who've both stopped their eating to watch [y/n] in further concern — they all know that she's only been acting like she's fine, but they didn't expect everything to get worse for her.

[y/n] barely acknowledges anything after that — the pain she feels is just too distracting for her to hear the worry in logan's voice, or to see the concern everyone in the room holds for her.

though, as logan brings her into his arms — bridal style — and walks them up the stairs, she lets out a barely containable cry.

this causes his eyebrows to furrow together in both concern and confusion. "what's wrong, doll?"

she cries again, hating how worried he is for her.

"i... i hate this... " she says through her heavy breaths that match with her small cries.

"hate what?"

"this — being so pathetic and weak of a human being that i can't even make it through the night." she mumbles, but he hears her completely, considering of how close they are.

"sweetheart—" he begins to say, knowing where this conversation is going, just as they reach the doorway of the room that she'd slept in before.

but, she interrupts him, "—no."

as her voice comes out in emotional stutters, she forces herself out of his arms as carefully as she can.

as soon as she's standing, she begins to feel light-headed again.

"[y/n]—" he says again as he notices that same sick-to-her-stomach expression on her face.

"no... i can't do this." she whispers shakily as a bunch of strands of her hair falls over her face.

though, honestly? this small little detail is something that she could care less about.

logan frowns, not sure of what she means. "what do you mean by that? can't do what?"

she lets out a slightly unhinged laugh as she shakes her head.

"i can't help laura... if i can't even survive," she mutters, taking in a deep breath as she leans against the doorway.

logan tilts his head to the side in concern for her.

he waits for her to continue, knowing that she's not going to stop until she gets what she needs to say out.

"i mean, this behavior isn't fucking normal for me! i have never had these types of issues before, when it comes to my health. this is all happening so suddenly, and i can't understand why."

"you know it could easily just be stress. you've been so worried about the kid and charles lately. i'm sure everything is fine." logan says, stepping forward to help her into the room.

she doesn't budge for a moment, not ready to accept that this is her life now.

she ducks her head down as he places a hand over her shoulder, her bottom lip quickly becoming harshly pulled in between her teeth. her eyebrows raise as tears blur her eyesight very quickly.

"c'mon. let's get you to bed, alright?" he murmurs, trying to stay patient with her, knowing that she's been going through an awful lot in the past few weeks — maybe, even longer.

i mean, logan can't know for sure how many months she's been with laura. or if she's been going through all this trauma, long before she ever met the little girl.

and it's not like he's forgotten about the guilt and anxiety she's been experiencing lately because of the people she's had to kill, in order to protect laura, who she's grown to love and see as her own daughter.

"logan... " she trails off as she finally, finally looks him in the eye with fear in her eyes for the first time ever.

"what if i can't protect her? w—what happens... if something happens to me and i can't keep her safe?" she whispers tremblingly, some of the tears escaping her eyes and sliding down to her cheeks.

normally, she'd be embarrassed to let anyone see her like this — like she's pathetic or weak.

but, this is logan.

he's been much more vulnerable than anyone she's ever known.

also, the fact that he could never judge her for being terrified when he's felt so much worse than her.

this time, though, he stops in place. he no longer tries to get her to the bed.

especially, when he sees the scared look placed on her face, and just how vulnerable she's allowing herself to be with him — even though, she'd never do that with anyone else.

"what are you saying?"

"let's just face it, logan. i'm... obviously getting sick — or something. i don't know what it is, but something is happening to me. and i don't think i'll survive it. which means... " she trails off as she takes in a deep inhale of shaky breaths, trying to accept what she's saying — she needs to make peace with it.

"which means what?" he questions her in a harsh tone of voice, obviously not liking where this conversation is heading.

"it means that i don't have long. and we've barely even gotten to where we need to be, in order for laura to cross the border. i can't help her if i'm dead, logan — you know that." she finally spits out what she's been secretly thinking.

a dark look fills his eyes as he shakes his head, jaw clenching impossibly hard.

"no. i don't know that — we don't know that. you don't know that you're going to die." his statement is spit out in a negative tone of voice, showing that he refuses to believe that it's true.

maybe, it's because he has found himself growing to care for her — way more than he ever planned to.

after all, she and laura aren't strangers to him — not anymore.

"logan, i know... t—that you don't want to hear this." she starts, still leaning against the doorway, clenching her eyes shut and taking in a deep breath at the thought of what she has to say next.

"i know how much pain and loss you've experienced. and i wish and hope that you don't have to experience it... ever again. but, we have to face the facts."

now, she opens her eyes and looks up at him again with more tears spilling.

"and the fact is... i might die. and if i do — whether that's from what my body is experiencing right now, or getting myself killed — i need you to promise me that you'll do right by laura."

he grunts, growing more frustrated and annoyed by the second.

it's obvious — and understandable — that he does not want to have this conversation right now.

or ever, actually.

"she's your daughter — whether you can accept it or not. you are her parent. maybe... even more than i am. after all, i'm just a woman who cares for her and sees her as my child — even when she isn't. but, you, logan... you are her father — you both share the same dna and pain."

he stays silent after hearing this, however.

even if he has so many things to say to her, he doesn't say it, because he knows that she has more she wants to say.

"you have a chance with her. she's not too far gone — she can be better. and you can teach her how to be. but, you have to protect her and get to that border — no matter what happens. she needs a normal and healthy life, where she isn't treated like a weapon." she says, gulping down her pride as she readies herself to say her next choice of words.

"and... of course i want nothing more than to be right there with you guys, when she gets to have the better life she deserves," she states, pausing as that life flashes in the back of her mind.

but, as it disappears, just as fast as it came, she sighs and blinks away the tears. "but, that might not happen. no matter how much i want that future, i have to accept that it might not happen. and... i need you to give her that, okay? she needs a different life than this. she is only a child — one that doesn't deserve to be hunted down like an animal and killed because they think they can't control her. she deserves better than that."

[y/n] forces a smile to her lips.

"she needs you, logan. and i need you to promise me that you'll do what i ask of you — for her sake." she finishes as more tears fall.

he's silent for a moment. but, the anger and denial is quite clear and evident on his face.

noticing this, she steps forward, despite the nausea and pounding of her head that she still feels. "loga—"

"no!" he yells suddenly as his eyes meet hers.

she jumps slightly, worry filling her as she notices the raw emotions swirling around in his eyes.

"no. we're not having this conversation, alright? you're not dying. so, stop with this damn martyr act." he tells her harshly, trying to ignore her hurt expression.

it's a few moments, filled with complete silence and tension slowly building up in the air.

though, logan doesn't care.

or maybe, that's just what he wants it to seem like as he gently grabs onto her waist and side again, silently helping her over to the bed.

they don't exchange any words as he helps her get under the covers, before walking over to the door.

though, before he can shut the door behind him and leave her to her overwhelming emotions and thoughts, she calls out to him, "logan."

he turns to face her, keeping his face stoic as he looks at her in question.

"i want her to sleep in here — just this once." she mumbles shakily, refusing to look him in the eyes.

he silently nods, before walking out and shutting the door, needing to get out of there before he suffocates in that room with her extremely hurt expression.

—————

SHE WAKES UP TO SCREAMS of terror filling the entire house.

[y/n] immediately throws her body up as she lets out a gasp, searching the dark room.

but, she knows that scream — laura.

with a protective instinct towards the little girl, the slightly weak woman stumbles out of the bed and continues to struggle to get out of the room.

once she has the door open, she races into the hall, following the sounds of laura's whimpers and screams, only to find her lying down on the floor of the room that charles had recently fallen asleep in.

"laura? what's going o—?" she starts to question, not quite seeing the full scene of the bedroom.

but, when she does, she sputters and gasps as she takes in the bloody scene before her and the robot-like man that looks way too familiar for her liking.

laura races over to [y/n], hiding behind her as the older woman continues to watch in shock and hurt as charles continues to lose more and more blood by every passing second.

"charles... " [y/n] whispers as tears fall down to her cheeks, not wanting to leave him to bleed out, but also needing to protect laura, who's shaking in fear from behind her.

"it's okay, darling. get laura somewhere safe."

"what? i—" [y/n] wants to say no, but the murderous glint in the enemy's eyes causes her to slowly back away, before turning to laura and kneeling down.

"sweetheart, go find logan. tell him what happened and you tell him to take you with him and get the hell away from here, okay?" she tells her hurriedly, ignoring the pang in her heart at the fact that this is going to be the last time they will ever see each other.

laura cries out, shaking her head and refusing to leave her as tears flood her face. "n—no. i can't leave!"

despite, not saying it, it's clear to [y/n] that what laura's trying to tell her is that she can't leave her behind.

she nods, her cries barely containable as she dips her head as she struggles with her emotions.

but, when she hears his footsteps nearing them and she glances back to see him getting closer and closer to them, she pulls herself together and pushes her away from her.

"laura, go! i'll be fine — i promise." she tells her, despite the fact that she's only lying to protect her.

as the older woman begs her to go with just her pleading eyes, laura hesitates.

but, as [y/n] stands up and turns to face the monster behind them, laura hesitates once more, before turning and running down the steps and races out the front door that's wide open.

as soon as she realizes that the girl is safe and away from the violence, [y/n] spits in his face.

"you're not touching her, you psychotic bastard!" she yells, pulling out her knife — the one she always keeps hidden in a strap she has wrapped around her waist.

he only yells angrily and slaps her to the ground.

she cries out, before she looks back up at him, noticing that he's not done with her yet.

as she winces and pushes herself back further down the hall, he pulls out a needle connected to a tube with some type of scary-looking liquid inside of it.

then, he pulls her closer to him by one of her ankles and injects it into her neck, causing her to groan through the pain, before her body quickly becomes to grow weak.

in the next few moments, all she wants to do is close her eyes. she's just so damn cold and tired.

but, as he assumes that she's about to pass out and begins walking down the stairs in search of laura, [y/n] carefully — and struggles to — get up and stumbles her way down, determined to protect laura.

just as logan walks back and closer to the house from walking around with will — and encountering some complicated trouble — he finds laura, running out of the house with a look of terror swirling around in her eyes.

she heaves in a bunch of breaths as he stops her from running past him. "hey, hey. what's going on, kid?"

she simply shakes her head hurriedly, tears beginning to cloud up in her eyes. "charles, dead. [y/n] sacrificed herself." she bluntly says with an edge of fear, still not able to say complete sentences.

"dammit!" he mutters, realizing what she means and putting it all together, before he looks back down at her with his eyebrows knitted together in worry.

"where? where exactly?" he exclaims in question, trying to not take it out on her as fear and immense concern begins to fill his entire body.

laura only points back to the house. "upstairs."

without any hesitation, logan turns to will.

"watch her for me, will you? make sure she stays safe." he tells him, who nods in agreement — though, he's a little confused too — before he races inside and makes it to the stairs.

though, what he finds before him leaves him completely and utterly speechless; blood is trailing the floor of where charles was last, and [y/n] struggles to stand as she tries to fight the man that strangely looks exactly like logan.

"stay... the hell... away from her!" the young woman yells at him, her speech slightly slurred as she struggles to stay awake, trying — and failing — to fight him off.

after all, this is a stronger and much more powerful version of the famous wovlerine.

"[y/n]!" logan yells as he sees the obvious pain she's in, along with all of the injuries she now has — thanks to that lovely injection she's just started to experience.

she becomes distracted for a moment, her terrified and worried eyes catching his.

after she heard his voice call out for her, all she could think about is that this is the last time they'll see each other.

because she knows that she can't fight this very scary version of him, and logan just has to take laura and get the hell out of here, before either of them gets captured and killed — at least, that's what she knows.

but, the evil version of logan takes this moment of distraction to get the upper-hand on her; his claws grow out of in between his knuckles and forcefully thrusts them into her stomach.

blood spurts out of her mouth as it becomes even more extremely hard for her to stay awake.

not only is she currently fighting whatever the hell that syringe was that just got jammed into her neck, but now, she's being practically impaled by the evil-logan's claws.

more blood spills from her mouth and lips as she chokes on the air, trying to fight the pain she feels over all of this — she's only human, after all.

"[y/n]!" logan yells her name again. this time, though, both anger and worry is evident in his voice.

though, something in her makes her stop fighting the other logan — she knows that she’s going to die.

that's why her gaze finds logan's, who's just about ready to kick the other him's ass for hurting her — charles as well, too, obviously.

"get h—her... out of here. now... " she sputters, more blood spurting out of her mouth.

"please... she... s—she needs you!" she yells, trying to keep the evil logan-spawn distracted for as long as possible.

though, logan shakes his head, not being able to let her go.

"no. we're going to get out of this — i'm not letting you die."

but, evil-logan could care less about this romantic exchange between them as he kicks her body back to the ground and his claws slide out of her now wounded body.

then, without another word, he walks down the steps, giving the real logan a challenging look — trying to size him up, i suppose.

[y/n]'s vision goes blurry and soon enough, her eyes slowly close.

everything goes dark as she — this time — can't stay awake anymore. her body's just too damn tired.

—————

"I'M SORRY. THERE'S NOT MUCH i can do. whatever it was that was injected into her body... it's taking effect quite fast. i can't delay it, and i can't fix it." an unfamiliar voice says, waking the injured young woman from her long, long sleep.

"what do you mean you can't fix it? you're a doctor! this is what you do — you're supposed to save lives! why can't you save her?!" that familiar angry voice that she knows so well yells in utter frustration.

there's a pause, before the stranger speaks again, "i'm sorry. if this was a normal injury, sure, i could treat it. but, it's not," he states, as an annoyed grunt comes from logan, quickly causing him to continue. "frankly, i don't know how she's survived this long — she should've died the second she was injected with that mysterious liquid. but, what i can tell you, is that she's strong."

a sigh is heard, before he speaks again, his voice now filled with pity. "all you can do right now, is enjoy your time with her and make peace with the fact that she doesn't have much time left — before she's going to die."

hearing all of this isn't new to [y/n].

she suspected something else was going on — something that could very much result in killing her.

but, hearing the heartache and pain in logan's voice brings tears to her closed eyelids.

the doctor apologizes once more, before he leaves the room and shuts the door behind him.

after another moment of silence, logan talks to the younger girl in the room, "it's okay — she's going to be okay. she's strong. she'll get through this."

though, the fact that he's lying to laura, in order to keep her from breaking down, doesn't sit well with [y/n].

"don't lie to her. she doesn't need things to be sugar-coated." she croaks out as she slowly opens her eyes.

she flinches from the bright light that hangs from the ceiling, before moving to sit up.

as she looks over to them, she notices the worry displayed on both of their faces.

but, the tear-stained cheeks of laura's concerns her the most.

laura doesn't need to tell [y/n] what she's feeling because she feels it just as much.

she nods in silent agreement, before opening her arms. "i know, baby. i know. c'mere." she murmurs, tears blurring her eyesight.

the little girl lets out a breathless sob and races into the older woman's arms, hugging her so tight, as if she's afraid that if she lets go, [y/n]'s going to disappear.

[y/n] sighs in relief, happy to have the girl near her, once again — she really did think that she was going to die on the munson property.

though, thinking back on that whole entire situation, [y/n] pulls away and looks over at logan for the first time.

she turns back to laura, giving her a sad smile.

"hey, why don't you go out to the waiting room, yeah? i need to talk to logan." she murmurs, her gaze finding his again, not being able to look away from him.

laura wordlessly nods and walks out, sensing that the two adults need some time alone.

as soon as she's gone, [y/n] clears her throat as she begins to dread asking the question that's been on her mind since she woke, just seconds ago.

though, before she can quite ask what she desperately feels that she needs to, he clears his throat as he steps closer to her.

"how are you feeling?" his voice comes out gruff, but also, filled with worry and hesitation.

"logan, that doesn't matter right now." she gulps as he rolls his eyes and throws his hands up in the air in clear frustration.

"of course it does! why do you always do this?" he questions, jaw clenched as he watches her flinch.

"do what?" she asks in a meek voice, trying to ignore the pang in her heart over how much he cares about her.

he sighs, regretting how harsh he was — he's acting just like he had that night, before everything had gotten worse.

"why do you treat yourself like you're expendable?"

[y/n] slumps in defeat, pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth — like she's been doing repeatedly — and knawing over it in anxious nerves.

logan crosses his arms over his chest, raising a brow at her as he waits for her to answer him.

though, it doesn't come.

she simply stays silent, not sure of how to answer him.

i mean... how do you even answer a question like that?

it's hard to explain why she acts the way she does — especially, when it's tied to how she acts with herself — when it's all she's ever known, her entire life.

[y/n] has always been hard on herself, as well as being reckless with her life.

though, when she met laura, that all changed — she knows that she has to stay alive, in order to protect her.

but, that doesn't mean that she doesn't hate herself or have really unhealthy coping mechanisms. because she does — thanks to her family, of course.

"[y/n]." logan calls out, snapping her out of her dark thoughts.

her eyes snap up to meet his, shock filling them — she'd forgotten where she was for a mere moment.

"i... i—i don't know, okay? i'm just used to being this way." she stutters, not sure she wants to have this conversation with him anymore.

finally making up her mind, she stands up from the table she'd been lying on, minutes before.

she sways a bit, catching logan's attention further-more, but she shakes it off as she starts to walk past him.

"we don't need to talk about this right now, logan. we need to get laura across that border." she states shakily, though she tries to hide it, as she almost makes it past him.

but, logan, having been too worried about her for so long, grunts annoyedly and gently grasps her arm, just as she's about to brush past him.

"we're not going anywhere, until we talk about this." he states seriously as she freezes in place at his words.

she sighs, wishing he just didn't care this much in the moment.

"why? logan, laura is the most important thing right now — not having a therapy session." she mutters, not daring to turn around and look at him, fearing that she will break down and spill everything to him, once she looks him in the eyes.

"you need to talk about this, sweetheart. if you don't, it's going to get you killed. and you can't afford that when you need to be there for laura."

she rolls her eyes, lowly scoffing.

hearing him talk about her mental health like this makes her mad.

how can he talk about this — like this — when he doesn't even believe the same for himself?

she whips around to face him, her face full of obvious irritation.

"really, logan? you really want to talk about this with me? when you can't even do the same for yourself?" she exclaims, finding it so damn aggravating that he's being such a hypocrite.

his eyes widen in shock, having not expected her to snap at him like this — she's usually so calm and collected.

if only he knew just how much she struggles with the anger issues she gets from her family.

"excuse me?" he asks incredulously, snapping himself out of his shocked state and quickly going back to his cold act.

"you heard me! you're trying to tell me to try to talk about my issues and try to see that i have a good life ahead of me, when you can't even do that yourself! you don't want to live, do you?" she exclaims, throwing her own hands up in the air.

she scoffs as a dark look takes over his face, jaw ticking as he tilts his head to the side.

"you really wanna do this right now, doll?" his voice almost comes out in a growl, while [y/n] refuses to let it scare her — she knows that he'd never hurt her, especially when he's just acting this tough, most likely to push her away.

"yes, because i don't need you to act like you care about me this much!" she spits out, not taking a moment to realize what she just said.

he barks out a laugh, tossing his head back in sarcastic disbelief.

"really? you think i don't care about you?"

her entire body goes weak at his question.

she didn't even realize she said it. but, there's no taking it back — not now.

with a relentless sigh, she bites down on her bottom lip and stays silent as she ducks her head down to hide the obvious tears that are just about to spill — she doesn't want him to see what kind of effect he has on her.

"well?" he asks again — much more harshly, might i add.

"yes." she whispers weakly, knowing that she only blurted out the truth.

because, sure, she'd hoped that he cared about her, but there's been some other side of her that kept telling her that he could care less about her and just couldn't wait to finally be rid of her and laura.

"you seriously fucking think i don't give a damn about you and you're well-being — along with the kid, too — at all?" he questions further, still not fully calmed down in the moment.

in fact, it seems that he's only getting more frustrated by every passing second.

without another word, she nods.

shame fills her at the thought of losing him, all because she couldn't keep her damn mouth shut.

that, and the fact that she's used to everyone leaving her.

though, she also feels hatred towards herself — she hates growing attached and dependent on others.

and losing logan? well, that scares her shitless.

especially, since people hurting and leaving her, is all that was ever done to her.

anytime she grows to care for someone and begins to trust them, they leave her all alone, only with the heartaching conclusion that she did something wrong to make them abandon her.

that, or she assumes there's something wrong with her that is so terrible that they couldn't stand her anymore.

something snaps inside of logan, not understanding how she could be so blind.

"if i didn't care about you, why would i be refusing to accept the fact that you're dying? or the fact that i care about you so much that i'm willing to give the kid a chance?" he asks as he steps closer to her, causing her breath to catch in her throat at how close they're getting to each other.

"logan—" she says hesitantly, starting to really regret this entire conversation, all together.

he shakes his head in frustration. "no. don't. we're going to have this conversation. whether you like it or not." he says in a dark voice, his facial expression becoming something of a mix between anger and bewilderness.

"i don't know where the fuck you got the idea that i don't care about you. because you're wrong. why would i change my mind about helping you and laura, if i didn't give a shit about you? why would i be protecting you this entire time, if i didn't care? or calm you down from a panic attack, or help you feel better about the blood that's now on your hands? or take care of you and make sure that you're safe?" he yells this time, completely frustrated at her for thinking for just one second that he doesn't care for her at all.

though, you'd think that a man like logan wouldn't admit to caring for her. especially, with everything he's been through, and all of the people he's lost.

i mean, the man has practically lost everything.

"i didn't want any of this. i just wanted to take care of charles and protect caliban and get through the time i have left, before everything would be going to shit, once again, like it always does." he says seriously, not taking notice of the tears flooding [y/n]'s eyes, or the trembling of her bottom lip.

he's far too overwhelmed with the current conversation.

though, it's barely even a conversation at this point — it's just him yelling and raising his voice at her.

"i didn't want any part of it. but, then you came into my life and i found myself wanting something more than the miserable fucking life i was living before. and along the ride, the more i got to know you and the kid, i've grown to see things differently — i saw you differently." he says, this time his voice becoming much more genuine and gentle.

[y/n] swears that her heart stops and the whole world disappears.

"w—what do you mean?"

"i mean that you've changed me. and i'm not going to fucking stand around, while you risk your life repeatedly, with no regards of the fact that we need you."

tears spill to her cheeks as her heartbeat quickens at his admission.

"we?" she asks in barely a whisper, wondering if she just misheard him.

"yes, we." he states with no hesitation, before suddenly walking all the way over to her.

he hesitates on his next actions, hoping to god that he hasn't read too much into the situation.

god, the thoughts running through his head is making him feel like a love-sick teenaged boy.

but, something changes when she looks up at him with both hopeful and shocked eyes. "logan—"

she stops herself, wondering if she's getting the right signs.

does he really want to kiss her, or is she just an idiot?

"doll, i can't fucking take it anymore. i can't be around you, without doing this before i regret it." he mutters as he brings his fingers up to her face, wiping away the tears on her face.

her eyebrows knit together in confusion as she looks up at him. "what do you mean? do what?"

"this." he simply says, placing his hands over her cheeks and then slams his lips onto hers.

a shocked sound comes from her, it now becoming a smothered breath as they both close their eyes and melt into it.

logan smiles into the kiss as [y/n] presses her body closer to his and wraps her arms around his neck.

then, as she opens her mouth just slightly to let out a content sigh, he takes the moment to bring the kiss to become more heated as their tongues meet together.

when they pull away, [y/n] places her hands over his chest as she takes a deep breath, heaving for air to get back into her lungs.

"wow. that was... " she trails off in a murmur, still very much speechless.

"yeah, i know." he mumbles, a small hint of a smile on his lips.

"did you really mean all of that? what you said?" she asks in a soft voice, after they stand in a few minutes of comfortable silence.

he nods. "yeah. i had to get through to you that i do care." he murmurs as they both pull away from each other.

after a few more minutes of silence, [y/n] asks the question she's been wanting to ask since she first woke up, "so, you gonna tell me where charles is yet?"

but, the answer she receives — along with the distraught expression that takes over logan's face — tells her all that she needs to know.

—————

SOMETHING IN HER KNEW THAT everything that'd happen the next day would end with only blood and innocent kids getting hurt.

but, she didn't question how she knew that.

she only knew that she'd die to protect laura and those kids. no matter what — even if things had shifted between her and logan and she wanted to try to stay alive for him.

maybe it was the fact that finding out about charles' death had more of an effect on her than anyone anticipated.

or the fact that the munson family had experienced so much pain and loss because of them.

really, it doesn't matter.

but, she wouldn't dare let transigen take laura or those kids and put them through more hell — she needed to put an end to that psychotic group.

the worst part was leaving logan while he was asleep.

she hadn't said goodbye — she only gave him a long lasting look with a sad smile, before leaving with the kids.

and laura had only assumed that [y/n] wanted to make sure they got across safely.

technically, that's not a lie. but, she hadn't exactly told anyone the full truth.

and she was right.

somehow transigen had found out where they were headed and ambushed them in the woods.

and of course, the young woman decided to stay behind to fight the men off — to protect the kids.

with a yell to them to 'get out of here, now', [y/n] struggled to fight the men — her pain in her body was only getting worse, thanks to the other stronger version of logan — but, succeeded in distracting them.

that was until one of them stabbed her in one of her legs and tied her to a tree while she was distracted.

and as they leave to hunt down the kids — one by one — something in [y/n] snaps.

she's never felt so much gut-wrenching pain over the thought of losing a child that was never truly hers in the first place.

but, the thought of those kids — those innocent children, who only want freedom and normalcy — being brutally murdered for being born and having the powers that they do, changes something in her.

her blood runs cold as a shiver runs through her body at the thought of finding their bodies.

scorching, hot tears spill from her eyes and she just can't help it as she lets out the loudest, most pain-filled scream.

the kids hear this, and it makes them stop for a moment.

but, this distracts them for too long as some of the men have found them and begin to capture some of them.

though, another yell — one that belongs to a very familiar, protective man — distracts some of the men and laura helps the rest of the kids break free.

[y/n], now exhausted from that one scream and the agonizing pain filling her entire body, she helplessly sobs in both emotional and physical pain. she feels so weak.

but, before she can fall further into that negative and dark mindset, a pair of heavy footsteps makes her freeze in her place.

though, as she looks up, she realizes that it's only logan.

as he kneels down in front of her, his face filled with worry for her, she lets out a cry of relief. "logan?"

he musters up a soft smile — one that's only recently been reserved for her — and tears the ropes free of her hands.

"hey, sweetheart. you didn't think you'd be doing this alone, did ya?" he asks, trying to lighten the mood as he rips off a piece of flannel off of his shirt and wraps it around her leg that's currently bleeding out.

tears find their way to her eyes again as her bottom lip trembles.

"they're going to kill them, logan." she cries out, not being able to think about anything else.

a look of both anger and worry for laura and the other kids finds its way to his face as he helps her up, before placing one of her arms over his shoulder.

"don't worry. we're going to help them."

"promise?" she asks in a whisper.

he nods as he begins to walk further into the woods, in the direction of the screaming kids.

"i promise. we're not leaving until they're safe. alright?" he tells her as she starts to walk on her own, ignoring the pain.

she nods, agreeing with him. "good. because i had the same idea." she mumbles as they get to the entrance of the field that the children are being dragged to.

ultimately, with some hesitation, the couple decides to split up.

though, logan hands her some weapons to help her, before placing a loving kiss to her temple and murmuring a 'be safe'.

then, they're both sneaking around trying to scope the area out, and trying to find an opening to get this shit done without too much blood and death.

worry and confusion fills [y/n] as logan hurries right into the middle of the field, obviously going for the confrontation approach as she finds laura.

the girl hides behind her by a tree as they both watch the scene playing out before them.

"oh, look who it is!" one of them sarcastically exclaims, before slamming the end of his gun into a boy's head, immediately knocking him out.

the doctor and logan talk; the doctor tries to play nice, while logan is just not having it.

while there's nothing much happening, [y/n] kneels down and faces laura.

"you think you can go to your friends without getting caught? i gotta help logan get the bad guys, okay?"

laura nods, silent worry evident on her face, but she doesn't say anything as she sneaks back towards the nearest vehicle, which is where the rest of the other kids are being held by.

[y/n] takes a deep breath as she begins to sneak closer, making sure if a fight happens, she'll be able to step in — even if she is only human.

but then, suddenly, logan shoots both donald and the doctor in pure anger.

donald yells in pain, holding his now destroyed hand and runs over to one of the other vehicles closest to him.

the fighting starts as laura attacks some of the men, near the rest of the children.

one of the other kids being held uses their powers to electrecute the men sitting inside the vehicle.

[y/n] takes the moment to step forward and shoot two of the men in the head, shocking the kids.

then, she turns to laura. "get you and your friends out of here. logan and i will handle the rest."

laura wordlessly nods as she helps the kids get up and get out of their handcuffs.

but, as logan follows the asshole that no longer has a hand anymore, the other version of the wolverine — the evil one — appears behind one of the doors of the vehicle and shoves him back with pure rage.

"logan!" [y/n] yells, stepping forward in distress as she completely forgets about the kids that are getting ready to run.

the two wolverines continue to fight each other — the evil version having more of an upper-hand.

laura takes out the rest of the men as [y/n] steps forward when the evil wolverine stabs logan in the back and throws him into the air, far away from him.

something dark swirls around in her gut — some of it is just her being protective of logan, and the other is something that she's never felt before in her entire life.

"get the hell away from him, you fucking piece of shit!" she screams as she steps in front of logan protectively and starts shooting her gun.

this, though — no matter how many times or where she shoots her gun at him — only makes him more angry.

becoming a little nervous, [y/n] backs up as she pulls out one of her daggers.

just as he gets close enough to her to hurt her, she thrusts the weapon into his side.

but, this has no effect on him as he shoves his claws into her gut — repeating history.

a shocked gasp leaves her as she tries to keep the whimpers of pain shoved deep inside of her.

logan growls as he watches the evil version of him find satisfaction in hurting her.

then, as he stands up, [y/n] slowly backs up — despite all of the pain she feels — as the claws pull themselves out of her stomach.

the evil wolverine prepares to strike her again, but logan isn't about to let that happen; he rushes forward and shoves her behind him as he uses all of his strength to throw the much more powerful monster away from them.

then, he grabs a broken door off of the ground and tries to take out his head from his neck with it.

but, it doesn't help that when the monstrous version of logan sees the doctor dead on the ground.

there's also donald deciding to motivate him by telling him that logan killed him — this obviously brings him to fight back against logan and shove him and the door to the ground.

he growls angrily as [y/n] runs over to help logan get up.

but, then, donald shoots a graveling hook into one of logan's legs.

[y/n] yells out in pure irritation as she turns to shoot him in the head.

he lets out a shocked breath as he falls to the ground.

[y/n]'s not sure if that killed him or not, but at least he'll be done for — at least, for a few minutes.

while both [y/n] and laura are busy trying to fight different people, logan angrily rips the hook out of his leg, yelling in beyond-imaginable pain.

more of the kids appear to drown donald in the nature of the grass, which eventually kills him.

as the evil wolverine goes for laura, logan and [y/n] share a look, before she's running to get the little girl to stay behind her, while logan stays to fight the other version of him.

"stay behind me, okay? this isn't your fight."

laura — for the first time in a while — sends her mother-figure a terrified look.

[y/n] sighs regretfully. "it's okay. he's not going to touch you." she says, before facing the evil logan before them.

as she notices that the kid that donald had with him, is trying to lift up a heavy truck near them, [y/n] grabs laura's hand and shoves her in logan's direction.

"you guys need to get out of here."

"no! not without you!" laura yells, tears filling her eyes as logan pulls her close and hesitantly keeps her behind him.

[y/n] gulps down her pride as she allows a few tears to escape. "i know. but, you have to. logan will protect you — i promise. but, you have to go. now!" she yells, before the monster in front of them comes to notice them all very quickly.

laura hesitates, but stays with logan.

"sweetheart—" logan begins to say, but [y/n] refuses to look him in the eyes as she steps forward and tries to fight off the evil version of him — she can't look him in the eyes as she realizes that there's only one way this is going to end.

and if it's going to be up to her, she'll do just about anything to make sure he and laura — and the other kids that remain — get out of there safely, and alive.

as she fights the monster once more, [y/n] yells to the real logan, not turning to look at him, "get yourselves out of here! i didn't survive all of this, just for you to die on my watch. go!"

the pain in her body becomes even much more hard to bear as she pushes the evil logan back, just as the other kid is able to make it so that the truck lands directly on top of him.

with a sigh of relief, logan and laura start walking towards [y/n], but, she's not willing to risk that monster surviving this and killing them and everyone else.

"no! you guys have to go!"

but, it's too late.

just as she turns back to face the vehicle, one side lifts itself up, before falling back down — he's still alive.

the thought of having to watch them die brings back the searing, hot tears as she runs over to them and pushes them further away.

"go, please!" she cries out, needing to do anything to keep them safe.

the evil wolverine eventually escapes from under the truck and when he's standing — quite angrily and vengeful, might i add — he runs straight for her.

though, instead of running in the other direction, [y/n] clutches her dagger and runs straight at him.

once she reaches him, she swallows down her fear and slams the tip of the dagger straight into the side of his head as she kicks him back, his back hitting the edge of one of the many vehicles.

this only makes him more angry, though; in a fit of more intensified rage, he slams his claws into her stomach — for the second time that day — before dragging her to a broken stump with sharp edges surrounding it.

as body meets sharpness and wood, laura screams out as the blood spurts out of [y/n]'s lips.

she chokes as she struggles to breath — even more so, this time — body wracking with breathless sobs.

her eyes meet logan's.

his face is utterly torn. tears — something he never has let happen in a very long, long time — have spilled to his cheeks.

"p—please... " she cries out in between the blood that's repeatedly falling from her lips and the struggle to breathe as the evil logan mercilessly shoves her back against the sharp edges of wood, before stabbing her with his claws once, twice...

"g—get her out... of h—here!" she finishes, just before laura has had enough and snaps, grabbing one of the guns off of the ground and shoots the monster straight in the head.

this destroys half of his face, before he limply falls to the ground, unmoving.

both logan and laura run over to [y/n] as she lets out a choked sigh of relief, grateful that she doesn't have to endure any more new injuries.

though, she's still growing more and more weak by every passing second.

the little girl sobs loudly as she drops the gun to the ground beside them.

without another thought, she lies her head on [y/n]'s chest.

she moves her very shaky hand up to hold laura's as she tries to stay awake — just for a bit longer.

her breaths become much more hollow as logan falls to his knees, right in front of her, on the other side of her.

his face is filled with so many different emotions; love, fear, guilt, worry.

"you know... m—meeting you, james," she pauses, gulping in pain as she tries to find the words she needs to say before it's too late, while logan's heart almost stops beating at the realization that she just called him by his real name.

"it... was the best thing that ever happened to me... " she trails off as an extremely pain-filled cough with more blood falling from her lips escapes her.

laura cries once more, not wanting to lose the woman who's only ever protected and loved her, despite all the bad things she was forced to do.

"don't go... " she lets out as her tears fall onto [y/n]'s weaker-by-the-minute-body.

[y/n] chokes on her own cries as she clutches the little girl's hand in a tighter grasp.

"i—i'm so sorry." she cries out as her heart pangs at what her possible death is doing to both laura and logan.

he clenches his jaw angrily as he bites down on his bottom lip in frustration.

"why didn't you just let me take care of this?" he asks in a tight tone of voice, trying to ignore the extra tears swirling around in his eyes.

she gives him a sad smile, her heart breaking completely. "because... it had to be me." she croaks out as another coughing fit begins to escape her.

"and because i... i couldn't lose you guys... because i—i love you," she whispers, starting to hate the fact that right when the three of them had just started to feel like a real family, something like this tears them apart — forever.

"b—both of you." she finishes, more blood trailing around her lips and sliding down to her chin.

hearing those words leave her lips allows logan to feel so much pain that the tears finally spill.

he ducks his head down, trying to hide his emotions.

[y/n] frowns as she notices this.

"it's... okay. i wouldn't have this any other way," she states as she cups his cheek with her other bloody hand. "dying for the man i love, and... the little girl that's become like my d—daughter? it... s—sounds kinda like a pe—perfect ending to a great story." she murmurs, trying to hide how much she wishes to just stay with them.

but, on another hand, she's also made peace with it — that she's going to die.

because — deep down — despite how much she didn't want to accept it, she knew that sacrificing herself for the people she loves dearly, is the only way she wanted to go out.

"logan... " she coughs, once more, as her breaths becomes much more shallow — death is almost about to knock on her door.

he looks at her, waiting for her to tell him what she needs to.

"p—please... be happy. don't... d—don't let my death be the end of the happiness and the good life you both deserve."

as those words sink into his head, he desperately wants to tell her that there is no happiness or life without her — she's become like home to him.

for the first time, in a very long time, he's grown to want the life he's tried to avoid having — he's been punishing himself for so long that meeting her was the one exception to actually wanting that life. but, with her.

but, before he can say anything — and tell her this — she turns to laura, who hasn’t pulled away from her as she tries to desperately wipe away her tears.

"laur, baby, everything's going to be alright, okay? i know that you're scared. and you have every r—right to... to be. but, logan's gonna protect you and take care of you, o—okay?" she murmurs in stutters, trying to hold on for as long as she can, starting to feel how slow her heart is beating now.

laura cries harder as [y/n] takes one deep breath. "do—don't... don't be the m—monster they made... made you i—into — be b—better." she whispers as her breaths slows now.

before the last beat of her heart hits her body, she sighs with a content, happy smile, despite dying so fast. "take care of e—each o—other... for m—me, o—okay?"

then, as that last beat hits her body and heart, the light slowly leaves her eyes and her face begins to relax as both of her hands drop to the ground, limp and unmoving.

"no!" laura yells in anger and fear as the emotions quickly escape her, now realizing that she's gone.

logan, not being able to handle his own grief, stands up and walks over to laura, without saying anything as he kneels down beside her.

laura jumps into his arms and lets everything out.

they both stand there for god knows how long, only drowning in their grief, with the other kids standing behind them, feeling pity and sympathy for them.

[y/n] may have only known them for a small amount of time, but still, she made an impression on them, for the better.

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

What age do you imagine Trevors half sister is In your hc?

Hmm, good question. She's younger than him by several years, I'd think. This makes sense as to why she has no recollection of ever being a 'Belmont', or living with that family. She'd probably have been around toddlerhood (1 or possibly younger).

The Castlevania Wikia says Trevor's age at the beginning of the series is 20, but I don't buy that. He seems a few years older at least. Granted his lifestyle of drinking and wandering ages a person, but if Alucard is still a 'teenager' in human years (19 at the most), then Trevor should be older than 20 as his family was most likely killed/prosecuted years before Alucard was born.

Lisa knew of a man with 'secret knowledge', but she did not call him Dracula. I don't know if she knew this man and the infamous myth of Dracula were in fact one and the same. Perhaps she considered it a possibility, but it was far from fact to her. She meets Dracula, and then from the time jump we know she's burned alive 20 years later. Even if she and Drac got it on right then and there after meeting, Alucard would only be 19. If it took them about 3-4 years to fall in love/marry, then Alucard is like 15/16.

Alucard says to Trevor that he was surprised to find he had more of a childhood than Belmont, which to me, suggests that Trevor is not only older than Alucard but was given less time with his family as a child.

Thinking realistically, Trevor knows a fair deal about monsters and monster hunting. He's been trained. He couldn't have just been like 5 when everyone was killed because then he wouldn't have had the physical ability to retain all the knowledge he had. It's also implied that from his family's exile and his escape, he hasn't been back to his ancestral home. That coupled with the fact he was considered too young to be taught how to open the Belmont hold makes me think late pre-adolescence (like 10 or 11), but not quite tween terrority upon his family's murder.

So let's say Trevor is 11 when his family is killed, and at that time his younger sister is 1. Fast forward five years- Lisa has just met Dracula. This makes Trevor 16 and his little sister 6. Sometime before our time jump, say another 4 or so years later, Adrian is born. So Trevor is 20, his little sister is 10, and Adrian is a baby (1). Post time jump by the year 1475 when Lisa is murdered by the church, Trevor is 36, his little sister is 26, and Alucard is 16.

I'd imagine Sypha to be in her early twenties at the beginning of the series. Maybe 24 or 25.

I know there's this myth that people got married at like 14 because they dropped dead at 40 in the olden days, but that's not. The average lifespan is 40 because a lot of people died early deaths and brought the pooled average down. People did not automatically become considered grown-ups at 13 and great-great-grandmas if they lived till 50.

So the ages for this fic / most of my headcanons are as follows:

Trevor: 35/36

Trevor's Younger Sister: 26/27

Alucard: 16/17

Sypha: 24/25

Of course, this is just my interpretation and I suck at math so, please take all this with a grain of salt.

-Mothmom

[foap-enjoyer]

Panic attacks | Disassociation | Seizure

Panic attacks.

‘Soap’s afraid of dogs, in the original set of games. Let's bring back that fear.’

Trigger warnings: Described past dog attack from a smaller dog. Panic attack too, of course. Ships for this prompt: Ghost and Soap are in a relationship. Gaz also makes an appearance as a brotherly figure. No Price this chapter, sorry folks!

Read it here, on AO3: Ouch. - Chapter 6 - Tsukuyomi_Ravioli - Call of Duty (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

~

It had started in his childhood. His fear of dogs. Like most people with irrational fears, he supposed.

But unlike those with rightfully, understandably scary stories, his story was… stupid. It was stupid. Embarrassing, even.

A tiny dog. A little, old, crusty jack russell terrier. Cranky with age, yes, but an overall okay dog. He was a rescue, actually. His grandpa and grandma’s rescue dog. Their little ‘bundle of joy’, they had affectionately called him.

Bundle of joy his ass.

He’d only been five or so, a bumbling, playful little child. Clumsy, but he tried his best to get around. Toddler limbs weren’t exactly the best on the market, after all.

They had, his family, stayed over at his grandparents for Christmas. A traditional thing. This was his mum’s side, his mum’s parents. Sometimes he stayed with his dad’s parents too. They were nice. But his mum’s parents were closer, so they would go there more often, as a family. Him, his pa, his ma, and his twin sister, Allie.

Soap hadn’t always been scared of dogs. In fact, as a child, he adored dogs. On his dad’s side, they had a dog- a black and grey doodle mix of some sorts. Alfie, his name was. An old dog too, rescued from a puppy mill- a dog he adored. He liked his family friend’s dogs too, Socks and, funnily enough, Soap, two little white Scottish-terriers. Siblings, if he remembered correctly. As a young kid, he’d helped pick out Socks from the litter, he’d been a rambunctious little squirt doing cartwheels in the corner. So of course he’d caught his eye.

But this dog. This jack russell. Well, he had to change it all, didn’t he?

They had been over for Christmas- like he said. This year, they were lucky enough to spend the night before, too: Christmas eve. Soap loved spending the night. Since it meant waking up to all the presents under the tree. Even if it that meant he had to spend the night stuck top ‘n’ tailing with his sister in some creaky old single bed, he didn’t really mind.

He’d woken up, bright and early, excitedly waking his parents, too, alongside Allie, jumping up and down on the bed and yanking at his dad’s hand as he all-but dragged him down the stairs to the living room. His grandparents were already awake, and the fire was already roaring, and he had sat bubbling animatedly alongside his sister, hands out awaiting their first few gifts.

It’s strange how, despite being so happy, more happy with that Christmas than any other for years to come, he only remembered one gift. A little toy train.

He remembered it because that’s what he had been playing with for the majority of the day. Chugging along with a few ‘Choo-choo!’s here and there, shuffling around on his hands and knees dodging sofas and loveseats and whistling along tiles and in between kitchen chairs and then-

Right into the dog.

He’ll always remember the startled eyes the dog had given him. How it had reacted quickly by lunging forward, its snarling mouth latching onto his lower lip, onto his jaw. How its teeth had sunk into his skin and how he himself had screamed in agony as the dog growled and thrashed and chewed and destroyed him-

Years later. Decades later, even, and he still held the scar.

The dog, the little ‘bundle of joy’, had completely torn open his lower jaw. Ripped away strips of flesh until his teeth had shone through. Until blood was the only thing little Soap could see through the tears. His parents had been in the other room, his sister, too, and no one had answered his pleas for what felt like hours. 

He never saw his grandparents again after that. 

Apparently, he learnt years later, they had refused to put the dog down, at the insistence of his parents. So, they had simply all stopped speaking. All because of him and his fucking train.

~

He sighed from where he was sat, behind his work desk. His head rested lazily on his hand as he regarded paperwork after paperwork before him. His other hand was absentmindedly drumming a pen into the side of the wooden table. He was certain he’d created a divot in the wood by now.

A knock at his door. He sighed again. “Come in.”

It was Gaz to pop his head in. 

He grinned at the sight, his aching muscles relaxing. “What can I do for you, Sergeant?”

Gaz rolled his eyes. “Shut up you dick.” He snorted, “You know I’m a higher rank than you.”

Soap tried his best to look shocked, “What?” He gasped, “Since when?”

“Since forever. Anyway-” Gaz moved to make himself look more ‘formal’... Whatever that meant. To Soap, he looked stupid, and would always look stupid, even if he was the king of England himself. Gaz mimicked opening a scroll, reading it before peering upwards once more. “Ghost humbly invites you to the rookie games, soldier.”

He curled a brow. “The fuck is the rookie games?”

“Just a little something me and the LT have been cooking up.” Gaz cackled, “Oh, Soap- John, it’s gonna be so fucking good. We’re making an Olympics out of the rookies.” 

“You’re telling me Simon signed off on that?” He laughed, rolling his chair slightly backwards. He moved to stretch, everything in his body crackling and snapping. He let out a low groan. “I’ve gotta see this.”

“That you do.” Gaz was bouncing in place like an excited child, his eyes bright. “C’mon. I made popcorn.”

~

Ghost and Gaz had made this whole Olympics thing real official. So official they’d rented out the entire indoor gymnasium on base for it. Which, when it came to renting buildings in the military, was pretty impressive. It was amazing what strings their lieutenant could pull.

When Soap and Gaz had wandered through the large double doors, he’d been met with quite the sight. Lines upon lines of soldiers, all divided neatly into teams, shuffling and yapping excitedly, the groups wearing matching colours. Green, blue, purple, yellow, and so forth, in the form of matching vests. Ghost was up ahead, sitting on the edge of a set of collective, stacked tables. He waved him and Kyle over when his eyes caught sight of them.

“When the hell did you two plan this?” He couldn’t help but ask his lieutenant, curling a brow. 

Ghost snorted, leaning back on his hands. “Ages ago. I only looped Garrick in so I didn’t have to make the teams.” 

Gaz nodded. “Since I know them better and all. I separated all the couples to squeeze some drama outta this.”

“You two have major issues.” He chuckled as he hoisted himself up beside Ghost, feet dangling below. “But you brighten my day with them.”

“Anything for my favourite Sergeant. Anyway.” Ghost moved to stand on the tables, cupping his hands around his mouth, or, well, where his mouth was, under his mask. “Alright, settle down, idiots, settle down!”

The rookies instantly rocketed to attention like startled cats, making Soap chuckle. Gaz made his move to elbow his way up to sit next to Soap, curling his legs under himself. He nudged the younger man. “You’ll be amazed at how much shit Ghost made for this.”

Chuckling, Soap turned his attention back to the lieutenant who was now ordering about teams. “This first little game is what I like to call ‘hunt’. Each team will pick one of their members who will put the safety-suits on, by the door.” He gestured to said door, and Soap followed his gaze. “Then, you will be given thirty seconds to run and, or, hide before we release the dogs, who are waiting in their pen with Staff-Sergeant Lee. If they find you, and they bite you? Well,” Ghost huffed, crossing his arms, “you, and your team, are out.” With the shocked and surprised faces from the crowd, Ghost rolled his eyes. “Not out-out, you stupid bastards. Now pick your bloody player and get a move on!”

Ghost had even gotten the sniffer dogs in on this? Jesus wept, how long had this man been waiting for this moment? Was this some kind of sick fantasy he had, watching rookies squirm and squeal? He had to admit, in the funny safety-suits worn when working with the dogs, running did look a little funny, but the dogs were no laughing matter. Especially to him.

Gaz nudged him again. “You alright?”

He blinked, “What?”

“You look a little pale is all.” Gaz shrugged, “Relax. It’s not like it’s me and you out there, huh? That’d be funny.”

He tried to laugh, he really did, but only a strangled noise escaped him. The simple thought of being stuck with those mutts had his heart lurching uncomfortably. “Yeah.” He found his voice, curled up in the back of his throat like a terrified child. “It would.”

~

Once each team had picked their unlucky contestant, and said victim- sorry, he meant player- was suited up appropriately, the game was on.

It almost reminded him of giant inflatables, the way the rookies fumbled and fell and rolled in their plush traps of fabrics and metals. Or maybe overgrown toddlers. It’d been enough to draw a smile out of his face, quickly forming into a grin and hell, he’d even cheered a bit for one kid, before Ghost had released the dogs. Snarling, feral, aggressive dogs.

His heart had dropped to his stomach. He was certain it was still there, too.

“Choo-choo,” The wheels rumbled against tile as he tugged the toy train along with one hand, the other holding him up as he shuffled his way through the kitchen. There, he had another toy waiting, a superhero toy he had gotten. Not his favourite superhero, mind you, so now, it seems the amazing Robin clad in his typical suit, had become a loyal customer of his famous train postal service. “Here’s your delivery, sir.” He giggled, unpacking a few crumbs of a biscuit from the back of the train’s plastic body. He’d eaten most of it on his way here. “Enjoy your order!”

Now, if he checked his imaginary clipboard, he noted his final customer for the day. One of his sister’s stuffed bears she had gotten. He lived in the rocky canons of woody-tops. Which were just fancy words for the table. He lived under the table.

“Just Mr bear.” He murmured to himself as he ‘restocked’ his packages. Meaning he simply took his superhero’s parcel of crumbs and replaced it back onto the conveyor. “And his order of bourbon pieces. Off we go!”

He needed to get out of here.

If he got out of here, these memories wouldn’t come flashing back. If he could go somewhere warm, if he could sit on something fluffy, not like the hardened, plastic, outdoor chair he found himself on currently, maybe it would go away. 

He felt sick.

“Soap?”

He shook his head, pushing himself up. He held his breath as the world spun around him. “I just need a drink.”

He didn’t hear what the voice said next, nor did he bother to ask for them to repeat themselves, simply beginning to push himself through chair after chair, person after person, in search of someplace safe. Someplace quiet.

Sometimes, mid-roleplay, the biscuit pieces would fall off of the train, when he hit a series of lumps in the tile, or dips where the old plates had fallen inwards to the ground. Which sucked, but he pretended it was a cool, complicated issue he had to fix-up. He liked fix-up jobs. If a hole was too steep, he’d use forks to create a little bridge over it for his train. Like a pro. He felt so smart!

He ended up back inside the gym, huddled between stacks of tables and chairs he had confidently sat on only moments ago. It was the closest building, nearest set of doors, nearest hiding spot.

He prayed that the dogs weren’t allowed in here too.

Pain.

Pain like nothing he had ever felt before. Pain that seized his body, his throat locking. He couldn’t even scream-

Breathe. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

He wanted his mum, tried to call out for her as his head smashed into the floor. There was blood everywhere, the dog was on top of him. He could feel its teeth on him, he could hear its snarls in his ears, its drool on his skin. Where was his mum??

This was stupid. He shouldn’t be crying like a little… like a little bitch over some dogs.

But he was, he could feel the warmth on his cheeks, the way his breath hitched and choked. He was panicking. He was really panicking like a pathetic kid over this of all things? He was a fucking soldier for Christ’s sake…

There were hands on him, screams, screams that took him a while to realise were his own.

“Look what your fucking kid has done, Mary.” His grandmother snapped, “Oh sweetheart, come here.” and he watched in horror as she plucked up the still-snarling dog, pressing a kiss into his worn fur, “There we go, love, you’re okay. Did he spook you, honey?”

“Soap?”

“What my son did?” His mother roared. He flinched back, raising his hands to his face. His fingertips met blood. “That dog is fucking feral, I knew this would happen!”

His hands raised to his face slowly, pressing down on the scar that stretched over the skin of his chin and lower lip. He felt himself tremble.

“Johnny?” His dad knelt down, pulling his hands away, holding his face in his own, long, calloused fingers enclosing around him. The older man winced. “Jesus, son.”

“It hurts.” He sobbed. 

The hands on him rubbed softly against his cheeks, catching his tears. “Breathe, Johnny.”

He took a stuttering breath in.

“We need to get him to the hospital, love.” His dad had turned to look at his fiery wife, hesitant whether to jump in and stop her rampage on her own parents or keep holding his kid’s bloodied face together. He could hear his sister crying in the background. “I can see his teeth.”

“My teeth?” He sobbed harder. What was wrong with his teeth?

“You’re alright, you’re okay. Your teeth are fine, Soap, shhh,”

He flexed his jaw. Still intact.

But…?

“Can you look at me, love?”

He blinked. His mother wasn’t there. His sister wasn’t crying, the dog wasn’t snarling. His dad wasn’t- his dad was Ghost. The hands holding him were Simon. He choked. “Si’?”

“Yeah.” The man’s eyes crinkled behind his mask, “It’s me.”

He sobbed again, barreling himself forwards. Simon caught him easily. “It’s alright, Johnny.” He soothed, moving to gently scratch at his spine. Up, and down, one, and two. A nice, soft pattern. “Breathe. What’s got you so worked up?”

“I hate dogs.” He hiccuped. “I fucking hate dogs.”

The hands tightened around him. A soft oh leaving the black balaclava. “I’m sorry, love.”

He shook his head, trembling as he pressed his head into Simon’s neck. “Not your fault.”

Simon huffed softly, and Soap took this moment to wind his arms around the man, clutching at the tac-vest he never seemed to rid himself of, looping his fingers in holsters, hoops, anything he could clutch onto. Ghost let him, he always let him. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

He bit his lip, thinking. It made it easier to talk when he couldn’t see those piercing eyes. “It’s embarrassing.” 

“It’s not embarrassing, love.” One of the hands on his back reached up to scratch at his hair, nubbed-nails massaging wild brown locks. “It can’t be if it’s got you of all people this worked up.” A kiss, through fabric, onto his head. “You’re one of the bravest people I know.”

He sighed, a soft noise leaving his throat. “I, was… uh…”

Ghost didn’t urge him to talk faster. Instead, he settled down himself for the ride, relaxing into the tables and chairs surrounding them. A finger stroked his ear. “Take your time.”

“When I was a kid, a stupid fucking-” He cut himself off with a wheeze, scrunching his nose. Simon held him throughout. “Fuck why is this so hard? It was just a stupid fucking dog, holy shit.”

Simon shrugged against him. “Fears are stupid. At least, phobias are. Irrational, that’s the definition. Gets us all worked up.” He leaned closer, “If it makes you feel better, I don’t like snakes.”

He shook his head. “But snakes is… It makes sense. Mine doesn’t. It was a tiny little fucking rat.”

“Hey,” Simon nudged him slightly, chuckling, “I’ve seen some pretty scary rats before. You ever been to New York?”

He had, and it made him laugh softly. “Yeah.”

“And chihuahuas can be scary too. Let me guess…” His fingers tapped against his head, “Terrier of some sorts?”

“How’d you know?”

“They’re scary little dogs.” He shrugged again, “Them and chihuahuas. Always the tiny ones that get you.”

He sighed, curling up slightly in Simon’s arms. “I guess.”

“I won’t bring the dogs out again.” He heard the man promise as he closed his eyes, getting comfortable. The adrenaline was wearing off now, and he could no longer hear the snarls and barks of the dogs outside. Or the crowd of rookies, for that matter. He wondered where Gaz had gone off to.

“You don’t have to do that just for me.” He laughed softly, “It’s just a dog.”

“Hey, if we had snakes around us twenty-four seven I’d be expecting you to get rid of them for me.” He poked him, “In sickness and in health, you dick.”

Soap chuckled, squirming away. “Seriously though, you don’t have to do that.”

“Fine then, I won’t.” He stopped with his insistent prodding. “But why don’t we go down there one day? Meet one of the dogs? There’s a nice one, Julia, her name is. A total sweetheart. You’d like her.”

He bit his lip, thinking.

“You don’t have to.” Simon hurried to say, “I just thought-”

“No, no.” He smiled into the man’s neck. “I’d… I’d like that.”

Another kiss on his forehead. “I’ll see to it, then.”  

~

Two little random facts about me: - The dog attack is based to a T on my own childhood. Except I was bitten on the cheek, have no scars, and I don't have a twin sister. - My parents are in the British military. I've never mentioned this and idk why. My mother's a Captain, and my dad's a Major, which is just above a Captain and just below a Colonel, for those wondering :) - So ig my parents are Price and König...?

[psychologeek]

Holocaust (and culture appropriation)

(TW: holocaust, death camps, sexual assaults, rape, industrial murder. I will put the graphic shit undercut. Include children death and human experiments).

Sometimes I think about how fucked up it is that for most non-jews (and some jews) "The Holocaust" is Anne Frank and Auschwitz "where they killed people".

I think about the fucking, the goddamn AUDACITY some people have to take our trauma and use it as a tool. As a lesson.

People that for them the holocaust is nothing but a story, a bunch of facts, probably as aware of it as they're aware of the crusaders.

(Once upon a time, in a far away land, there were Troubles)

People who didn't hear about it as children, who didn't grew up with six million and one-and-a-half million and yellow stars and quiet ceremony and Yizkor (remember).

That.

Would look at a pile of hats and bones and wigs and hair and make it about them.

But also

Sometimes I think about how wild it is, that this looks so horrific to them.

(And they never heard about half of it.)

Like.

Dear.

Deary.

We are used to death. We are so used to being murdered, and loosing loved ones by hate, that half of our culture is basically based on it.

I think about how non-jews keep talking about the holocaust, like it's a clean cut, like it's a thing that was, like it's that's all that was - there were people hiding, and there were gas chambers, and that's it.

And I remember being a kid (maybe 10 yo?) reading a kid/ya book that was an autobiography, and I remember the writer (who was a young teen at the time, and pretended to be a Christian German) wrote about someone came into the shower and touched him. (Writer) Panicked, and turned around - and then the other man asked him "wait- are you jewish?"

As a kid, I remember that this is all that was in it.

As an adult, I remember that scene, sometimes. And I can have a pretty clear idea on why the older man didn't tell about the kid.

I remember, several years ago, reading about a therapy group for holocaust survivors that were sexually assaulted.

I remember reading about an old lady, that (70 years later) told about what happened to her when she hide away with her sister, (I think they were two, or three girls?) she was sixteen, or maybe fourteen. I remember

"I did it so they'll share their food with us".

~

I think about people talking about the "death camp" Auschwitz, and how someone said (those who went there, were the lucky ones. When the newbies asked what happened, where are their families? We just pointed at the burning chimneys of Birkenau ,and the smoke.)

~

I remember the HUNDREDS who died once the camps were "freed", because they didn't know the dangers of eating two pieces of bread after a long period of starving.

I remember the massive Jewish community of Poland that was just. Erased. 99% of 3 million population pre-war. Whole communities we only remember and mention as the community's name (and even that is a very long list.)

I remember how people remember it as "German jews" (and some Poland) - but it's not. My grandma had cousins in Debretsen, Hungary. And it's Ukraine and France and Morocco and Greece and Lybia and Lithuania and Latvia and almost everywhere in Europe and North Africa

(except for Denmark. we love Denmark. My grandad's step-grandma survived there. She immigrated to her family in Israel after that.)

~

Idk if Goyim ever heard about Mangele. I wonder, how many of them heard during their childhood about:

The eye experiments, where he injected serums in people's (living) eyes, to see what would happen?

His obsession about twins. The toddlers that got their back skinned, then stitched together in "to see what will happen".

(They died after four days of misery.)

[kendizzzzzzzzle]

a little post about Kendall Knight and why I adore him sm

so, I’d want to start about how difficult his life probably was before BTR and LA. we know the fact that Mr Knight left bc he had an affair and ig it was somewhere about Katie being 3-4 and Kendall 9-10. so from the very beginning of his childhood he had to be the only man in the family. plus I guess his family was considered poor since, at least, Diamonds seem way richer (brook is a ceo of a beauty company lol). he had to work since they needed way more money than they had (mrs knight worked as a waitress, that’s a confirmed info): groceries, rent and Kendall’s hockey practice. I’m sure he had to babysit Katie while his mother had night shifts and he still managed to study well, work, be a leader in the hockey team, make some weird stuff with his friends and he sure helped his mom to do some house work. also I’d like to address that he also had an amazing personality. he is loyal, compassionate, friendly, kind, caring, smart and a lot of other adjectives. he’s that kind of guy who would help grandma cross the road but at the same time he would kill anyone who called James ugly. I’m sure that if one of the guys got detention, Kendall would make a plan how to get detention for others as well. he is the glue of the band (that is seen in several episodes) and always seems to find a way out. (also I prefer to think that he has a lot of meltdowns bc of the weight on his shoulders but of course he never shows it to others) I bet that the first time when guys saw Kendall cry (the reason doesn’t even matter) they were shocked and had to rethink that situation several times. the thing that I adore the most is that he doesn’t give a damn about anything but his family and friends. he doesn’t care about money or reputation - he just wants his close ones to be happy and safe. and if they’re not - Kendall will destroy the reason why. and I like to think that he is insecure about his looks and how he’s “leading” the group. he probably thinks that he is not enough, that he’s not what others think of him. and every time when there is a fight between guys - he thinks that it’s his fault. also the episode “big time tour bus” showed that he indeed cares about what others think of him. oh, and I forgot to mention that he obviously has some anger issues. but that’s not bad - that’s the part of his personality that makes him “Kendall”. also his anger even helped several times in the show, but if we’re talking about the Minnesota… I think he was the one who would yell at bullies and then punch them in the face. I can imagine guys hiding behind his back while some big guy was talking to him.

we love Kendall Knight and appreciate everything he does. one of the best characters in the history of nick shows.

[skymaiden32]

Mind Over Matter

Read on AO3 here

Fandom: Thunderbirds

Tagging: @dragonoffantasyandreality @thundergeek59 @janetm74 @katblu42 @liseylou @amistrio @uniwolfcorn (Please ask if you would like to get alerts when I update or post new stories.)

Thundertober Day 13: Laboratory

Brains really needs to get out of his lab and eat something.

Continuity: TOS

------

Meals on Tracy Island had two distinct flavourings. Either it was calm and collected, or it was complete chaos, depending on the moods of the household members. The Tracy family didn’t do things by halves either, so it was all or nothing. So when it had been nothing but family shenanigans and near food fights, courtesy of Gordon and Alan, for the past few days, it came as no surprise that a certain engineer had taken to barricading himself in his lab, and hadn’t come out for anything except to sleep. He’d even refused to have meals at all, even if it was in the lab.

Brains was quiet and reserved by nature, and had spent his childhood as an orphan and only child, so it was no surprise that the rowdiness typical of five brothers who’d grown up together would set him on edge. Even so, the engineer was usually quite good at making sure he took care of himself. The fact he wasn’t eating at all… It worried everyone.

Which was why Tin-Tin was currently standing outside the lab, holding a freshly prepared, red-hot plate of food, courtesy of Grandma Tracy. She gently rapped on the door, frowning when she didn’t hear anything from the other side. “Brains?” She asked, knocking on the door again. “I’ve got some dinner for you.”

This time, she did receive an answer. “N-No thanks, Tin-Tin. I’m not r-really that hungry.” Brains answered. “Besides, I’ve g-got far too much work to do…”

Tin-Tin rolled her eyes. That had been his excuse since he’d locked himself in there. She wouldn’t take it this time. “Oh, but Brains, you haven’t had anything to eat since breakfast yesterday. It will only take you about twenty minutes to eat this, and you can get straight back to work if that’s what you’re worried about. And you of all people should know what happens if you don’t…” She tried.

“I h-have eaten, Tin-Tin!” Brains replied, perhaps a little harsher than he’d intended. The door still wasn’t open.

“No you haven’t.” She stated simply. “You haven’t joined us, and Grandma Tracy and my father would know if you’d eaten straight from the fridge.” Silence hung in the air. “Please, Brains. We’re all worried about you…”

It took a few long moments for her to finally hear footsteps walk in the direction of the lab entrance. The door swung open, revealing the tired and gaunt face of International Rescue’s engineer. “Oh, Brains…” Tin-Tin covered her mouth with her hand, gasping. She had no idea he’d look this bad. “Why didn’t you…?”

“I couldn’t f-face them like this, Tin-Tin…” His statement caught her off guard. “N-Not after what happened…” Brains sighed, gently taking the plate from his friend and assistant.

The puzzle pieces clicked into place. “Brains, we thought this was about-”

“About Gordon a-and Alan’s behaviour at meals o-over the past few days?” Brains asked, a sad smile on his face. “It would n-never be about s-something like that. I-I love eating with e-everyone. It’s just…”

Tin-Tin’s mind flew back to that day four days ago. The boys had been using a piece of new equipment out in a forest fire. She didn’t know the full story; she’d never been able to wrestle it out of any of the Tracy’s. All she did know was that Gordon had almost died, and his brothers had been beside themselves with worry. The aquanaut was just coping the way he always did; by laughing and goofing off with his little brother. And now that he’d said it himself, Brains’ behaviour also made a lot more sense. As did his self-issued banishment to the lab. Whatever the fault in that equipment was, he was determined to fix it for good. And he was pushing himself away from the others out of guilt…

“It wasn’t your fault Brains.” She promised, cutting him off as he opened his mouth to argue. “It wasn’t. I don’t blame you, Gordon doesn’t blame you, and his family doesn’t blame you.” She smiled, gesturing to the plate of food. “Now eat up, get some sleep and shave a little bit. Mr Tracy wants to see you in the morning.”

Brains watched as his friend walked off back to her room, still stunned after the pep-talk he’d received. She was right of course. When it came to this sort of thing, she always was. He looked down at the food on his plate. Grandma Tracy had made his favourite. He smiled, closing the door once again and began to dig into his meal. 

“Thank you…” He breathed out to no-one in particular. Yes, he was truly home. Despite being separated from them all, in that moment he truly felt like part of the team. A member of the family. And he’d never doubt their faith in him again.

[decimadragonoid]

Here's some more Dragonball Z fanart featuring some of my favorite characters: Guldo, Chiaotzu, and Gohan. However, this art piece isn't exactly a happy one. You probably might get the hint as to why I say this already, but I'll give you some details.

As a lifelong fan of Dragonball, I was shocked to hear that the creator of the series, Akira Toriyama, had passed away roughly over a week ago. It was like reading news articles about how Toriyama-san was about to announce some new projects and spinoff works he was working on; then, suddenly, the next day, I found out that he was gone. According to official reports, Toriyama-san's cause of death was acute subdural hematoma.  Basically, this is a form of severe head injury in which bleeding fills up the brain area and causes brain tissue to compress. I will leave a hyperlink in case anyone wants to know more about it, but anyway, back to Toriyama...

When I was much younger, I would watch Dragonball and Dragonball Z on Cartoon Network's Toonami and Miguzi segments. Sometimes I would find myself hurrying back home or to my grandma's house from school and my afterschool program to catch the latest episode. I would watch Goku's adventures religiously and see what kind of friends, rivals, and enemies he'd make along the way. I was also a big fan of the Dragonball Z video games, including DBZ: Budokai, The Legacy of Goku, Dragonball FighterZ, Super Dragonball Heroes: World Mission, and DBZ: Kakarot. I would play DBZ: Budokai 3 non-stop with my cousin whenever I went to his house to play his PS2 with him. I still wish I had my PS2 so I could relive my DBZ gaming memories, but I still have Dragonball FighterZ, Super Dragonball Heroes, and DBZ: Kakarot. Matter of fact, I want to return to Dragonball FighterZ at some point since the online modes have been overhauled with rollback netcode. I also want to go back to DBZ: Kakarot at some point to finish playing the game and DLCs!

Fast-forward several years later, I remember not too long ago that during the COVID pandemic, I would binge-watch the original Dragonball series and a portion of the Dragonball Z series while exercising on a machine in the comfort of my home. It was my favorite pastime and a great way for me to lose weight while doing so. In fact, I plan on continuing to binge-watch the original Dragonball Z series with the Kikuchi musical score real soon.

I'm still very shocked and saddened by the fact that Toriyama-san is no longer with us, but as a Dragonball fan and appreciator of his works, I will always keep his stories close to my heart. Dragonball is a series that has given me a reason to never give up on life and everything that I do. It's something that helps me get pumped to exercise, become a better person, and never stop improving myself in the long run. So, to give Toriyama-san a proper sendoff, I'm going to refrain from trying to collect the Dragon Balls to bring him back to life, salute him for all his hard work and his efforts to make my childhood the best childhood I've ever had, and keep his memories and works alive!

Thank you so much for the memories, Toriyama-san. May you rest in peace.

========

Akira Toriyama:

April 5th, 1955-March 1st, 2024

========

Please leave your thoughts and critique in the comment section, as it really helps me think about and improve my style! Be sure to reblog this and spread this around to your fellow Dragonball fans too!

Also, feel free to share some of your fondest memories of Akira Toriyama's works, whether it be Dragonball Z or anything else that comes to mind. I'd love to hear your fondest memories!

========

Dragonball Z © Akira Toriyama

Fanart by DecimaDragonoid

[lilacthebooklover]

An analysis of Rococo (OMORI), because he doesn't get enough love :)

This is an analysis of Rococo as a character, looking into almost every word he says and interpreting them. It's time to find out just how tragic this funny little artist man can be >:]

"I've been alone for so long... but after what feels like an eternity... At last... I have... an audience!"// "PLEASE LISTEN! I'M SO LONELY!!"

He's been alone for ages, judging by Sweetheart’s long-lasting relationship with Spaceboy, him falling in love and moving in with SWH when she got her castle 'as a young donut', and his loneliness . This is someone who hasn't spoken to anyone in years and is willing to beg for a bit of company. 

He also clearly thrives on attention, both from this quote and the grand flamboyance of others, so being without that for so long must have been terrible for him. While 'what feels like an eternity' could quite probably be a hyperbole, he's had no way to tell the time since he's been literally trapped inside the walls.

The poor guy's so lonely . :[ 

"In the beginning was me... crying in a pod in the middle of space... witnessing my home planet blow up right before my eyes." // "I can still remember it all so vividly... Fire... Fire... everywhere... and then darkness." // "Even as a baby, I knew I was the sole survivor of my species... the last elf in the entire universe."

I know this is a Superman reference, but I’m going to treat it as its own separate thing for the sake of the backstory :)

Immediately, this shows us that he's lost his home as a child (being a literal baby when his planet was destroyed) alongside any family, friends or even people of the same species. He was completely alone from the start, and there's no way that something like this wouldn't cause issues later on.

Also, the fact that he remembers this shows two things: A- this affected him so deeply that it remains with him to the present day; and B- he can remember it despite being incredibly young. This means that it's likely he remembers a lot more , having such an extensive memory– e.g. everything that happened with SWH, too: them being close, her claiming 'Sweetheart is for everyone', himself getting abducted by the guards, every moment of living in the walls... It may be a stretch, but it's a possibility, and his storytelling shows that he may overdramatise his past a lot, but there are still some key facts within it.

The repetition of 'fire' makes it seem like he's almost reliving it, caught up in his memories. This is a tragic backstory already , and this is just the first 2 lines.

""So this is how it ends..." I thought."

There's no panic, no regret. Just pure, depressing acceptance. He was ready to die, knowing that he couldn't do anything to stop it and having been exposed to death so early on.

(This is also likely just something he made up remembering for the effect, but that shows that either then or later on, he realised he could very well have died in that desert. Ouch)

"Yet... In a stroke of luck, I was found by none other than a young DONUT by the name of SWEETHEART. She brought me to her family and they took me in as one of their own."

He and Sweetheart grew up in the same house, the same area of Faraway, best friends. They seemed to be like siblings, judging by her taking him in, them fighting, and knowing and caring about each other incredibly well. This makes her later betrayal all the more heartbreaking because this isn't just a woman Rococo's pined for before, but rather his entire world . 

He never mentions Donut Grandma or any other relatives outside of this, just her. They don't mention him, either.

 He doesn't have any friends, or a close bond with anybody , except  for Sweetheart, who intentionally locked him in her walls for years. Again, Rococo's completely alone.

"It was a rough childhood. We fought frequently, but she would always win... If I fought back... Well... ..." // "Anyway! I learned to run! And I got quite good at running… But... there's only so far you can run." // "Yes, it was a hard time. But even through that suffering, I stood firm."

I have... A lot of feelings about this part.

He describes his childhood as 'rough' even after he was rescued, which is immediately a red flag. He says that he and Sweetheart fought frequently, and it doesn't seem like any adults broke up their arguments.

Then, Rococo says that SWH always won. They would get mad or disagree, but even as a child, Sweetheart refused to accept she was wrong. This says a lot about her character; Sweetheart's always been like this.

'Fought back' means that Sweetheart had to be fighting him in the first place, and Rococo just had to take it. He was getting hurt, either physically or verbally, on the regular.

The frequent ellipsis throughout show how difficult it is for him to remember and share this. He cuts himself off a few times, his voice trailing off, while never explicitly saying what Sweetheart did.

However, as a result of Sweetheart having different opinions to him, Rococo 'learned to run' . This means he had to be running from something, his forced cheer at the matter and determination to change subjects and make his story dramatic and lighthearted again demonstrated through the exclamation mark. 

Then, there's the phrase, '...there's only so far you can run'. He's speaking from experience here, and it really brings to question again just what he had to run from, and why. 

Furthermore, this is immediately followed by, 'Yes, it was a hard time', showing that he found simply growing up around her– and having reason to run– difficult. This is to be expected growing up with Sweetheart, but the fact that he didn’t seem to have anyone else means that she was his only company constantly. His childhood is far sadder than I initially realised.

'Suffering' again shows us just how much he endured as a child; I'll go back into this in the next point.

"Because even then, I knew everything had a purpose. I was sent to this planet and survived for one reason and one reason only... to repopulate my entire species."

Rococo ploughed through his 'suffering' for only one reason: he felt it was his obligation to repopulate his wiped-out species. That's... Actually really disturbing, when you think about it.

Rococo doesn't think he's alive for the sake of being alive. He doesn't think he was just fortunate enough to survive. He believes that he has been kept alive by the fates solely in order to procreate.

This is an impossible goal, too, since he is the only one left. There are no other elves for him to have kids with– even if they were, options for partners would be incredibly limited and based not on love, but necessity. At best, he could make hybrid elf-donut kids with Sweetheart, but he can't repopulate his species. What he views as his only purpose is one he isn't even able to fulfil.

This is also a huge weight on his shoulders. There would always be that sense of estrangement since he is the only one of his kind, his desire to make more showcasing even that hidden hope for those like him. Because people like to be around those of the same likes, interests and species , but for Rococo, that last bit's impossible.

Loneliness is the centre of his entire backstory, and has followed him relentlessly throughout. 

"There is a conspicuous gap in my memory after this, so I'll fast-forward a few years." // "At some point... SWEETHEART and I fell deeply in love, became engaged, and moved to this giant castle together!"

This has some truly horrible implications. 

Rococo, having remembered his time as a literal baby, lost an entire chunk of his memories as a (presumable) adult? It doesn't seem likely, and 'conspicuous' only further supports this.

The fact that this is immediately followed by him and SWH falling in love seems wrong , to say the least. Rococo has just said he suffered at her hands, fought frequently with her, learned to run because of her, and now, he doesn't even remember falling in love with her.

One moment, he's living in Orange Oasis with his adoptive family. In the next, he's engaged to Sweetheart in a giant pink castle with no clue how he got there.

What seems more likely is that Sweetheart, who loves people loving her , got frustrated with Rococo's lack of blind adoration and decided to do something about it. 

It seems that here is when she encountered the Keeper of the Castle, who she begged to make the castle hers. In the Keeper's words: "That girl. She was an elaborate one.

This dwelling. It takes the shape of one's deepest desires. A place to return to. Somewhere to call home."

Her 'deepest desires' resulted in Rococo having a years-long gap in his memory before finding out he was apparently in love with and engaged to Sweetheart. He probably believed this, too, as by that point, he would have been affected by the Castle he now resided within. 

The Keeper said he gave her "A castle full of riches, servants for her to command, a stage for her to flaunt her power". He does not mention Rococo, but this tells us about SWH's desire for power and reveals that the sprout moles are either of Sweetheart’s creation/wants or were tricked into loving her.

If it is the latter, the same would have likely applied to Rococo.

"We were inseparable, her and I... and we loved each other dearly! I would do anything for her, and I mean anything!"

The ellipsis here indicates either that Rococo looks back on this fondly or with unease. The following exclamation mark again shows that he's trying to make his story seem happy, trying to convince himself that the only person he was close to genuinely cared about him as a person.

The emphasis on 'anything' once again contradicts his feelings prior to the memory gap, suggesting that Rococo's mind has, in fact, been tampered with. There is no mention of SWH doing anything for him– only the Keeper' remark on her hunger for power.

Needless to say, this doesn't suggest that their relationship was particularly healthy .

"I was ready to spend the rest of our lives together... to grow old... and to raise hundreds upon hundreds of children!" // "Hmm... Thinking about it now, I wonder if I ever made that clear to her."

Again, he longs for people of the same type and is excited to fulfil what he believes is his purpose. He made it clear quite early on that he's always wanted to be a father, so him not mentioning this to Sweetheart ever seems unlikely. 

Knowing SWH, she was probably far more focused on her own wants than Rococo's, regardless of his feelings. Their relationship was based off of what she wanted– and it seemed that Rococo grew a little too attached for her liking.

"Alas, all good times must come to an end. As SWEETHEART's fan base grew, she and I grew apart as well."

He views their relationship as 'good times', despite what he's depicted being sudden and unequally reciprocated devotion. As Sweetheart became more centred on her fame and fans, Rococo grew more and more alone. 

Again .

"She began receiving gifts and letters from suitors from all over the universe... asking for a chance to prove their love to her."

The ellipsis once again shows his hesitation. He doesn't want to remember this, yet recounts it all the same as it is an integral part of his story. She’s the only person he has, and Rococo doesn’t want to lose her.

Don't forget that by this point, he and Sweetheart were engaged . 

"Being her one true love, I was vehemently against this notion! But she wouldn't have it!" // "“SWEETHEART is for sharing!” she would say!"

They are planning on getting married by this point. Sweetheart is all Rococo has, and he has said that he would have done anything for her.

And yet, that wasn't enough for Sweetheart. Rococo is being perfectly reasonable here, yet once again, he suffered as a result. This is a sad echo of their apparent fights as children.

"..." // "So... one night while I was asleep... SWEETHEART and her servants tied me up and sealed me inside the walls of her castle."

The pause here shows his sadness at this, seeming to have to take a moment for himself before speaking. Here, his grandeur is gone, replaced by pure misery.

Sweetheart assisted in tying him up, and as the guards were manifested from her desires, them helping her get rid of him shows that she simply no longer desired Rococo.

This would have been traumatising in itself– being kidnapped in the middle of the night and aware enough to see your attackers–, but the fact that Rococo knew and trusted her so much makes this even sadder.

He had nobody else, and Sweetheart sealed him away for what was probably intended to be forever. Rococo, once again, was alone .

"I have been wandering aimlessly through the darkness inside the walls ever since... surviving off old TOAST and TOFU." // "Yes... You four are the first living beings I have seen since that fateful day."

Firstly... Toast? As in, toast that people become if they lose a fight? As in, toast that is essentially dead bodies?

Considering all of Sweetheart’s skeletons in the dungeon, it would not be a surprise if the corpses of those she executed were also thrown into the walls– anything SWH didn't want, after all.

Rococo, potentially having never been exposed to the concept of toast=person, had to survive off of this. What's even worse is that he could have known what it was yet had no choice but to eat it, supported by the use of ‘living’ in the above quote. This also means he's been here for a while , long enough to start starving and for SWH to make through multiple seasons of a show and date Spaceboy.

If that isn't a horrifying thought, then what is?

Secondly, he became absolutely isolated after this. Left with no closure and no explanation, Rococo can only wonder what went so wrong for this to happen.

Living in the walls means he could have been able to hear everything SWH was doing– including her courtship of Spaceboy and 'Sweetheart Quest for Hearts'.

Either that, or he’s been exposed to no other form of human contact for years. He's also in a dungeon , with no natural light and a distinct lack of hygiene or, well, anything really.

"Sniff... Oh... SWEETHEART... Why did you do it? Was I not good enough for you?"

He doesn't blame her. He doesn't blame the fans.

Rococo blames himself .

His idea of 'not being good enough' for Sweetheart is equivalent to him being locked in her walls to rot for years. This is someone who is very much not okay.

He has to stop himself from crying here, sniffing as he laments what he views as his failure. Because Rococo has been alone for his entire life, and Sweetheart was the only exception.

He loved her more than anything, so it's hard for him even after he's found to view her as in the wrong. Sweetheart, after all, was always the one to win their arguments, to do something that caused Rococo to run if he fought back.

!

"Sigh... For the last few years, I've had a long time to think." // "I kind of gave up on my dreams and all that stuff now... It all seems so far away and pointless..." // "So... I've decided to drop everything and become an artist instead!"

He's given up on his dreams. Rococo's main one was to repopulate his species, but now, he can't think of anyone who loves him. It takes two people to make a child, and Rococo's all alone.

So, he's left without a purpose. He has nothing to do but utilise his surroundings– until Omori & co. find him, Rococo believes he's never going to leave the dungeon. So, he decides to use what he has available.

And that's painting supplies. He aspires to become an artist, waiting and waiting for anyone to make art for. He's desperate to be commissioned, to have a purpose again.

We never actually see him leave the dungeon, but he had to be getting those bed upgrades from somewhere . Imagine, after years of solitude, Rococo finally manages to leave the walls, only to retreat back to them at the first possible opportunity. He doesn't know how to live anymore, how to be around other people.

He feels incredibly lonely, but can't find the strength to interact with others anymore.

Art becomes his only reason for existing, Rococo devoting every bit of his time to it until he masters it. But then...

"Thank you, fellow living beings. Through these few commissions... I feel as if I had made great leaps in my quest of self-discovery in the process. I am also very rich now." // "I can do no more for you! I truly feel complete!"

'Fellow living beings'. Rococo's so socially awkward by this point that it's not even funny (okay, maybe it's a little funny). He feels the need to remind himself that he is, in fact, still alive.

He 'feels complete'. There's nothing more for him. He is ready to pass away.

Now, Rococo has managed to 'find his purpose', be it what he originally intended or not. He's become as good as he can at what he focused on doing, except...

...There's nowhere to go from there. 

Rococo will inevitably be left alone once again, trapped in a cycle of loneliness and purposelessness. If his purpose is to be an artist, how will he get any better than he already is? If he wants to spend his money, what will he use it on?

At the end of this story, just like the rest of the points throughout, Rococo is still alone. 

He has money, he has his art, he has a comfortable bed, but he still possesses a total of zero friends. Omori and co. are customers. Sweetheart is in Deeper Well, working for the Slime Girls and not giving a toss about him. None of his adoptive relatives in Orange Oasis seem to care about him.

Rococo always has been, and seemingly always will be, all by himself– all the way up until he dies, just like the rest of his kind. He was never able to complete his original goal, he is left with nothing more to do after completing his last commission, and he has nothing more to spend his money on.

Because Rococo is alone once again

The End :)

Huh, that turned out a little longer than I thought it would. Oh well :)

Rococo's such a fun character but I barely see anyone talking about him, so I hope you enjoyed this little look into him! He's so silly and dramatic and angsty :D

Thanks for getting this far lol

[pjplayground]

Skeleton Tunes

It's the one that needed one of the most drastic redesigns, iiiiiit's Papyrus! Think of him like he's Vinyl Scratch, but he talks.

Bio: Papyrus is an aspiring producer who currently mixes his friend's band's songs on the side for fun. He also makes his own music away from the band, which he uploads online. For a teen, he's got a pretty decent following of 4,000 people.

Basic Info Full Name: Papyrus Alfred Tallaman Nicknames: Pap, Papy (by family only) Age: 17 Height: 5'11" Gender Identity: Cisgender (male, he/him) Sexual Orientation: Aromantic Medical Issues: None Can't Leave the House Without: Phone, headphones, lucky spaghetti keychain, baseball cap, portable bluetooth speaker, water bottle

Relationships Wallace - Friend, share their chill tunes with each other Romper - Friend, awesome band mate Hunter - Friend, helps them with their math homework Skrunkly - Friend, it steals his bread BonBon - Friend, both love high fashion Starbone - Friend, sometimes do ukulele and guitar duets Outer - Friend, Outer's room is perfect for band practice Bloo - Best friend, producer buddies PJ - New friend, tries to get him to do songs with him Undyne - New friend, an intense friendship

Miscellaneous Little Facts - He can play acoustic guitar. - His lucky spaghetti keychain is just two cotton balls and felt strands. But he bought it simply because it looks like spaghetti. - Spaghetti is his ultimate comfort/all time favorite food. - The only way he won't eat spaghetti is from a restaurant he went to once. Because he got food poisoning. - He loves sci-fi movies - bonus points if they have cool robots in them. - "Cool Dude" is the name he uses for all of his accounts. It's an inside joke between him and his old man. - His family is fairly rich. It's how he's able to afford high quality clothes. - Music is so ingrained in his life because of his family. His mom was an opera singer and his dad was a jazz musician. - Pap's room is decorated from head to toe in music related items. From vinyls, to old concert tickets, to band tees, and more. - His outfit was made to resemble his battle body, and the style was inspired by his date outfit from the OG game. - An old celebrity that's been a huge part of his childhood was Mettaton. He'd watch their old movies and specials all the time. - He had a mini freak out when he found out that Mettaton was the new drama teacher. - Pap will die on one hill. It's that word jumble puzzles are clearly the best form of puzzle. - Before she was committed to a nursing home, Pap would do jigsaw puzzles with his grandma all the time. - Pap still unironically sleeps in a race car bed. BECAUSE IT'S COOL. - Pap and PJ get along quite well. Pap could do without PJ's bad jokes, though. - Undyne and Pap are very intense when it comes to fighting techniques, even though Pap has admitted that he's too nice to actually do harm to anyone. - Papyrus has moments of being a bit airheaded. Like the time he tried to put a beauty product behind his ears.

[carmen-sandie-go]

“My parents didn’t really want a kid.” Don admitted, voice uncharacteristically small. Not just quiet, but small. Don was such a force of nature, so persistently present and loud and proud, Judy had to blink, and stare at him to make sure he hadn’t suddenly been replaced by a stranger. He fisted a hand in his dark hair, staring fixedly at the wall. “I didn’t realize not all families were like mine until I got to school. Kids had parents who took them to the park, and helped with their homework. Who were home to make dinner, and went to see whatever cheesy Disney movie had just come out.” Each scenario he tossed out was so generic, so simple, and Judy had a matching memory for each one. Her dad carefully put a Band-Aid on Penny’s knee when she fell at the playground. All five of them lined up for a special showing on The Lion King at the local theatre. Her grandma teaching her the super-secret family cookie recipe.

Don had none of that. “They raised me to be an adult when I was a kid.” There was no bitterness in his voice, Judy realized. He simply stated everything like it was a fact. Plain and simple. “I don’t know…” He trailed off, apparently not knowing what he didn’t know. “They didn’t show me what love was. I don’t know how to love someone. But you do.” He met her eyes, a fierce look behind them. Not angry. Just intense. “I see it in everything here. There is love everywhere.” Judy didn’t know where he was going with this. She was afraid of what he was going to say next, but she also desperately wanted to know. “I didn’t think…” He stopped again, struggling. Emotions were almost as hard for him as they were for her. She felt incredibly close to him right then, even from across the room. They liked science and mechanics. They liked things that made sense. Emotions were beyond both of them. He was trying. “I didn’t think I would ever fall in love, because it seemed stupid and pointless. I’d never seen it myself, and I certainly didn’t think I’d be able to tell what it was if it hit me over the head.” He was trying for her, she realized. “But I think I figured it out.”

Judy felt uncharacteristic tears burn behind her eyes. She couldn’t imagine someone not loving their child, even though she’d seen evidence of it come through the emergency room doors every so often. But not loving Don? He was stubborn, and a nuisance more often than not, but damn it, he was funny, too. And kind. She knew that, now. She had seen it, finally seeing what she’d missed- or maybe ignored- in the months before.

She thought back to their arguments in the garage. Throwing barbs at each other that never seemed to stick. They cursed at each other, complained to Tam, ignored each other for hours, but. They always came back for more. And then she had asked him to come home with her, and he had said yes, and now? Everything had shifted. Was still shifting.

She wanted to control the shift, though. Don was sitting on her childhood bed, watching her take in his words. She’d been standing across the room, but now she stepped forward until she was right in front of him. His brown eyes were shining, widening with each second. She closed the distance slowly, first trailing a hand up to his shoulder. She didn’t have to touch him in here, away from prying eyes. Away from pretending. But this time, she wasn’t pretending. She knew it, and Don did too. A second hand came to rest at the nape of his neck.

“I can’t imagine not loving you.” The voice that came from her mouth was quiet and soft. She didn’t know she had the capacity to speak in a voice that could only be described as tender.

He was wide open, then, and Judy felt like she could see everything inside of him. The good and the bad. He wasn’t a different person from before. He was just Don.

Not kissing him suddenly seemed like the most ridiculous thing in the world. Leaning down was all she had to do, and then she was kissing him. She was kissing Don, and he was kissing her back. His hands immediately came up to her waist, and he stood. She made a sound of protest, having to rise up on her toes to continue kissing him as he towered over her. He smiled into the kiss, and she could feel the smugness.

She turned them around forcibly, sitting back on the bed, forcing him down with her, until he had a knee braced on the mattress, hovering over her. He pulled away, question in his eyes. He wouldn’t do anything, she realized, without her say-so. This was what he hid behind his snarky, outer armor. A gentle man, who had probably been hurt more times than she could count. So she touched her forehead to his, and said, emphatically, “Yes.”

That was enough for him. He surged forward, and his kiss took her breath away. He pushed her further back on the bed, and her mind briefly flickered to her door, thanking her lucky stars that she’d locked it, because she didn’t need anyone walking in on what was happening, now. With Don all but covering her, his lips moving down to kiss her cheek, her neck, her collarbone. She gasped as his stubble brushed against the sensitive skin below her jaw, and he moved back up to kiss it, as her fingers tangled in his unruly hair. She tugged, gently, just enough to bring his lips back up to hers.

He held himself up with one hand braced on the mattress, next to her head. The other was simply resting on her waist. But she wanted more than that. She removed one hand from his hair, and snuck it under his shirt, scratching his skin lightly with her nails.

He slipped his thumb under her shirt. His hand was warm, and her body was already buzzing with electricity. It had been so long since she’d been held, touched like this, and she wanted more.

She tugged on his shirt, but he didn’t get the message, instead peppering kisses along her throat that left her gasping and needy. Finally, she pushed him back, and sat up herself, bunching his shirt in her hands. “This needs to be off, now.” She said lowly, and Don’s already dark eyes filled with lust.

“Yeah?”

She pulled again. “Now, while we’re still young.” She was grinning, though, as he tugged his shirt off, tossing it to the side, and then things got a lot less funny and a lot more sexy because damn. That was a whole lot of Don, right in front of her. Her hands came to rest on his warm chest, nails scraping his skin beneath the light smattering of hair on his torso. Her fingers followed her eyes as she looked down at him, all of him. There was a trail of hair, below his navel, that went down, below his belt buckle. She could see the tent in his jeans very clearly. Her fingers skated up and down the length of his torso and he closed his eyes briefly, exhaling.

Then, he opened his eyes and met her gaze, and the smile was back, and it his turn to move, to speak. “It would seem,” He started, hands coming around to toy with the hem of her shirt. “That we don’t quite match.”

Judy tipped her head, humming. “What are you going to do about it?”

Instead of replying, he simply bunched her shirt up in his hands. Judy raised her arms, her shirt came off, and suddenly, Don’s hands were spread across her ribs, and she was surging up to meet his bruising kiss. Everywhere he touched, her skin tingled with electricity.

“You are gorgeous.” He mumbled against her lips.

She didn’t know what to say to that. She never knew how to take a compliment. Luckily, all she had to do was keep kissing Don. He understood perfectly.

His hand came up to cup her breast, and she swore she could feel the heat from his hand through the padding over her bra as he squeezed experimentally. She let out a soft “Oh,” and that was enough for him. He slipped one hand under the cup, and the other traced her torso, around to her back where he expertly unclipped her bra with one hand. She pulled back briefly to give him a look, and he just grinned at her. She was going to ask him just how many times he had performed that action, and then his calloused thumb brushed against her nipple, and she suddenly didn’t care if he’d unclipped one thousand bras, as long as he kept doing that. She arched into his touch, and their lips found each other again.

His other hand remained on her back, and he gently led her down until she was laying against her pillows, and he remained above her, one knee planted firmly between her legs. Don’s hand left her breast then, and she made a noise of protest, until she realized he was working to undo the button on her jeans. He pressed a kiss to the area just below her belly button as he unzipped her jeans, and pulled them down her legs. She reached out to help, and laughed as he swatted her hand away, determined to do this on his own.

Eventually, her jeans were also tossed away, and she was left in her underwear. It was dark blue, nothing special, but Don looked at her like she was… like she was the most incredible thing he had ever seen. She should have felt uncomfortable, but instead, her face warmed pleasantly. She liked that he was looking at her. His hands traced up her thighs, but just as his thumbs brushed the edge of the lace of her panties, they retreated back down her legs, only to begin their journey again. He was just teasing the edge of where she was desperate, dying to be touched. After the third round of this, she whined plaintively. He looked up at her with a devious grin. Bastard. “Something you’d like to say, Doctor Robinson?”

She made a face at him. “Something you’d like to do, West?”

He was still smiling that Cheshire smile. “Something? Oh, there are many things I’d like to do to you.” And with no warning, he slipped a finger under her panties and directly into her. There was little resistance, she’d been wet with wanting for what seemed like ages, but she gasped at the unexpected, wonderful sensation. He swallowed her quiet gasps with a kiss as he slipped his thumb under the fabric and rubbed it against her clit and she lost all comprehension of words.

His mouth dropped from hers, and he went to focus on her right breast. His tongue swirled around the quickly hardening bud, and she arched her back, relishing in the feeling. After a few moments of this, he switched to give her other side the same type of attention.

She was getting close; she could feel it. If he kept doing that with his fingers, and his tongue, oh. But he pulled off of her breasts and inched himself down. His fingers slipped out of her, and she could see they were shining in the low light. He hooked his index fingers in the fabric and slowly dragged them down her legs, and then she was naked in front of him, and Don West had his face between her legs. His tongue dragged up her folds, and she pressed a hand to her mouth to keep from crying out at the sensation. No one had ever gone down on her before, never like this, and she tried not to writhe, but it was so much when his fingers joined in, and his tongue swirled expertly round her clit. Stars seemed to explode behind her eyelids, and she let out a sharp noise.

He worked her through her orgasm, one hand spread across her hip as she arched with the feeling, and when she came back down to Earth, he had his fingers in his mouth, licking her taste from them. She’d never seen anything more attractive.

After a moment of just staring up at him, she realized that he was still wearing his pants. “Those,” She looked pointedly at the denim. “Must be pretty uncomfortable.” She pushed herself up, slightly wobbling. He looked at her, clearly pleased. “I think I can take care of that.”

Judy made quick work of his belt, pushing his hands away when he tried to help. “It’s my turn,” She mumbled into his skin, sucking a kiss into his neck, effectively shutting him up. His jeans came off next, and he gasped as her hands brushed his cock through his briefs. She met his eyes as her hands slipped under his waistband, and she wrapped her hand around him. God, he was so hard, and she brushed her thumb against the head. He moaned as she pumped him once, twice, before shoving his boxers down all the way. They were both on their knees, now, facing each other.

Judy wrapped her hand around him again. She ran her thumb over the head of his cock again, and he let out another noise that could only be described as wanting. “What do you want?” She whispered in his ear. In response, he pushed her back down.

“You.”

One simple word, and it was enough to send another shiver down her spine. Excitement and heat pooled in her belly, and she flung her free hand to the side, fumbling with her bedside drawer until her fingers finally found the box she was looking for. She pulled out a condom, and tore it open with steady hands, though the rest of her was shaky with excitement. He sucked in a breath as she rolled it over his cock, and then leaned forward to kiss her again. One of his hands slipped down, squeezing her ass tightly, once, before letting go.

“Judy?”

“Yeah?”

But they were both lost for words once he slid inside of her. She let out a quiet “ah” as she felt herself stretch slightly.

“You really,” Gasp, as he moved again. “Weren’t bragging.”

“I’d never lie to you, princess.” His breath fanned hotly against her cheek.

“Well, then.” She bucked against him, eliciting another moan. “Get moving.”

But he was moving too slowly. With some effort, she rolled them over, and then Don was looking up at her with wide, pleased eyes as she hovered over them.

She took his dick in one hand, and guided him into her, sinking down slowly. She rocked against him, once, and he groaned, eyes sliding shut. She started moving on top of him, pleased as he swore under his breath. She rose almost completely off of him, before slamming back down, and he cursed. “Do that again.” He breathed, and she did. His hands tightened around her waist, and went back to squeeze her ass again.

She was feeling her orgasm, building slowly, leisurely, when Don wrapped one arm around her, and flipped them again, so that he was once again on top. She sucked in a breath as the angle changed.

He moved slowly as they oriented themselves, clearly trying to restrain himself. Before long however, his hips were moving like a piston, and she dug her fingers into his shoulder as he kept hitting that spot again and again.

He kissed her jaw, and she relished in that scrape of stubble against her skin. She slipped a hand between them to work her clit, and it was all so much, and as her second orgasm hit, she felt his hips stutter, and falter, and her vision blurred as they both finished, sweaty and out of breath.

It took her a moment to realize that he was half laying on top of her. “You’re crushing me,” She murmured affectionately.

“Sorry, doc.” He responded. He pressed a quick kiss to the corner of her mouth, then rolled off of her. She closed her eyes, felt as he got up, heard the tell tale noise of him tossing the condom in the trash before climbing back in with her.

She rolled over, so now she was half on top of him. She felt more than heard his rumble of laughter. One of his hands came up to card through her curls.

They would have a lot to talk about, come morning. But tonight, she was satisfied to just lay here with him. She could hear his heartbeat slowing down, along with his breathing, until it was deep, and heavy. She felt herself slipping towards sleep as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Goodnight, sugar face.”

She smiled, and mumbled something like honey cakes into his chest before she slipped into a deep, dreamless sleep.

[boonalina]

My review of ATLA Live Action episode one:

(Keep in mind, at this point I have only seen episode 1 and so this is just my first impression)

Remember, there are spoilers ahead and I seriously think you should watch it yourself before reading any review. Trust me, having your own impression first before anyone else's is way better... Okay here we go:

-----

Review of episode one, first impressions:

I really loved how we got to see what the air temple genocide looked like. It really shows that they're fully aware that the main audience has grown up. I watched it with my sister, her hubby, and my 5-yr niece and we didn't know that it would literally show people getting burned alive, so we had to cover her eyes a lot lol. I loved how we got to see firelord Sozin when he was first declaring war.

I really liked how we got to see monk Gyatsu (having that name in 2024 is sure rough buddy..) actually want Aang to have a childhood before they told him he's the avatar. The bending looks really cool, not slow and cringey like in the first live action movie haha. I thought the way that one air-bender died, the woman doing the air tornado, was fricken BRUTAL. And it's great to see just how far they're going with the onscreen death.

My brother-in-law (sister's hubby) felt really iffy on the fact that Aang can just sort of fly on his own now, without his glider thing. I honestly don't mind it, I don't think it really affects the story all that much. And it also just.. makes sense, for an air-bender to be able to fly on their own. I love how they got the grandma to say the original intro from the cartoon in a natural way as an explanation to Aang.

I liked how they kept the original motifs. The fire tribe still has that classic "BUM bum bUm baaaaam" idk how else to describe it haha

Aang: I thought his acting was pretty good for a kid. The crying parts were decent at best... but obviously I don't expect a kid to be great at faking tears. I thought his acting was great when he learned that he was the avatar, just that silent panic, the breathing getting faster and darting the eyes. The scene where he closed himself in the ice ball thing looked really cool. (My brother-in-law was fanboying the whole time, so much so that my niece started imitating him by saying "O M G the acting is SO good!" which made us all laugh, she didn't have ill-intent, she was just learning by example)

Katara: Her acting was a little iffy to me, I have hope that it'll improve later on. She had good lines but her face just didn't make me believe those lines. During emotional moments she was just kinda '_' But I know how tough it is to be a child actor so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. (And to be fair, it is hard to convey emotion as good as a cartoon can) Her water bending looked really pretty, and I love that they kept her hair loopies. And I love that she still has her motherly personality like when she was comforting Aang near the end.

Sokka: Again, I thought his acting was pretty decent, child actors and whatnot. I really love how they didn't just reuse the same jokes from the cartoon and got original. My favorite two jokes were when it cut to him screaming on Appa, and when Aang said that he had to save the world and Sokka's response was like "Gee, is that all?" sarcastically, got a good laugh outta me. I love how his weapon looked exactly like the one in the cartoon. And I love how he got to have a one-on-one stand off with Zuko.

Haven't seen Momo yet, gonna be a bit disappointed if we don't but I mean.... Now that I think about it, Momo didn't really add anything. He was just kinda there in the cartoon for comedic affect...

Anyway, just in case someone is reading this before watching it, I'm not gonna spoil/talk about anything else (like Zuko and Iroh). So please go get your own impressions of it, even if you have to watch it on a pirated site.

Thanks for reading :)

(Side note, I do wish they chose tanner actors for the water tribe but eh, what the hell do I know? Could just be the lighting that's making them look pale)

Edit: So I just found out that Sokka and Katara's actors are not children lol (well, Karata's is 17 but that's almost an adult) so it is now a little less excusable.... But whatever, it's okay.