#also this MIGHT make you think I can't handle things that are particularly dark and twisted which is NOT the case!

[celiaelise]

... when a movie or TV show seems too depressing/stressful/gory/intense for me to enjoy, but the story really interests me, but then LUCKILY it's based on a book or comic... only for me to learn that everyone who has read the source material universally agrees it sucks ass, and the adaptation definitely improved the story.

[call-me-strega]

How to Become a Step-Dad in 5 Easy Steps: ch.3/5 of p.2

First, prev, next, lore, ao3

OK SO- I’ve been working on this for months and I was actually supposed to have it done like a month ago but my parents took me on the last minute vacation to another country to visit family and I didn’t have access to my laptop most of the time. But it’s okay bc the timing worked out! I wrote most of this on my phone actually and I’m posting it from there too so I hope the formatting isn’t weird. Our flight back is tonight and we’re in a different time zone so I really hope this is going up at the correct time. Anyways I tried to make this chapter longer so I hope it’s worth it. Thanks for sticking around to read this and I’ll let you start now.

-Strega p.s Happy 4th of July!

~~~

Chapter description:

Danny and Jason comfort each other after a rough night, Jason teams up with Duke to stop a villain, and Jason spends the 4th of July with the Nightingales.

~~~

Everything was hot. Someone was laughing. Someone was crying. It's all too loud but he can't hear a thing. It was so hot. He could taste the bitterness in the air. His face ached. It's too much. All the textures overwhelm him but he can’t feel a thing. It was too hot. All he can see is rows of black upon gray, but he can't really see anything at all. He couldn’t- he couldn’t breathe. His forehead was wet and sticky. Why was it wet and sticky? Why was it so goddamn hot?!

With a desperate gasp for air, Jason launched up into a sitting position on his bed. He supported his body with one hand and the other pushing back his white, sweat-soaked fringes out of his eyes. He sat there for a few moments, just panting, trying to regain some semblance of control over his breathing. He felt a warm sweat drip down his face and back. It made his skin crawl.

He looked around his dark room and then down at his messy sheets for a moment, before pulling off the blanket and flinging himself off the bed. He couldn't stand the idea of staying there a minute longer. Not right now.

He stalked out of his bedroom and into his living area. He didn't want to stay inside. The thought of being in an enclosed space right now gave him the hives, no matter how spacious the apartment might be. Even if it's bigger than a coffin. Even if it's smaller than a warehouse. He can't see the sky. He's closed in.

Instead, he pushes open his window and pulls himself out onto the fire escape. It's not particularly open, facing into an alley, but it offers privacy and is heaps better than being inside. He slumps down against the brick wall of the building, feet planted and knees bent. He looks up and takes a breath trying to calm himself. Even with all the smog and Gotham's perpetual cloud cover, Jason is grateful to see the sky. He half-wished it was a clear night so he could see the stars. The other half didn't. It didn't think he could handle seeing the stars peeking out through the smog. It would look too much like a night sky tainted with smoke and bad memories.

His mouth felt dry as he clenched and stretched his hands. He almost wished for a cigarette or a joint, (no he didn't, he didn't want to see the smoke, to feel the heat of the slow burn) but the thought made his lungs constrict and he felt bile rise in his throat. Instead, he alternated between closing his eyes and taking several deep breaths, and gazing at the lights and laundry lines. Even in the sticky city heat of a Gotham summer Jason shuddered from the cool night air.

Suddenly, he heard metal creaking and his eyes snapped open. His head jerked to the side where the sound had come from. A few feet away, on the adjacent fire escape, stood a figure slumped over the rail. They must have also sensed his presence because they turned to meet Jason's gaze.

Before him stood a haggard Danny Nightingale with dark circles under his eyes and a head of bed hair. He wore an old worn-out shirt for a band called Dumpty Humpty, and a pair of basketball shorts that came down to his knees. Faintly, Jason could make out a faded scar on his calf. (Not that Jason had been staring at his legs or anything!) Jason soon became aware of Danny's own eyes assessing him as well. He felt his face heat up and was grateful that he slept in sweats and a white tank tonight.

And the two of them stayed there for a while, on their fire escapes. Two souls in the haunted hours before morning, looking worse for wear, just staring at each other as the world continued on around them.

Then, Danny weakly gave Jason a wry grin and in a rough voice he said,

" Hey, neighbor."

" Hey," Jason replied hoarsely, with a small grin forming on his face. "Funny running into you here, huh?"

There was a brief pause where the two continued to stare at each other, suppressing the quickly growing urge to laugh.

Danny broke first.

" Pffffffft, you dork!"

The two of them burst out laughing and the atmosphere grew lighter. The ever-present smog and darkness seemed to lift and the shadows haunting them seemed to fade.

Danny bubbled up with giggles that rang in Jason’s ear like a familiar song coming on on the radio. Jason looked at him softly in quiet wonderment. Well, I guess that’s where Ellie got her laugh from.

Jason heaved himself off the ground and walked over to the railing closest to Danny, who was just coming down from his high. He leaned over, one arm on the railing and the other coming up to support his jaw. He gave Danny a tired smile.

“Hey,” he said once more.

“Hey yourself,” came Danny’s soft reply.

Then the two, now standing closer, took a moment to examine each other once more. Danny took note of Jason’s sweat and unsteadiness. Jason could now see that Danny’s hands shook lightly and were covered in faded, barely-there scars. They met each other’s eyes and both just felt like the other understood.

Tonight hadn’t been a good night for either of them. But they didn’t need to talk about it right now. No, for now the two could just bask in each others presence The air filling with a certain solidarity and what felt like a near-tangible sense of mutual comfort.

Jason turned away first, observing the way light and shadow danced across alley walls and how the clothes on clotheslines fluttered in the night breeze. Danny followed his gaze in suit, trying to identify what Jason saw out in the city.

“ Ya know for being such a hell-hole Gotham really does have a subtle beauty to it.”

Jason turned to look a Danny with mock offense.

“Hey! Gotham may be a hell-hole but it’s our hell-hole! Just ask any true Gothamite, the city has a way sinking itself into ya.”

Danny looked almost amused by this statement, but nodded in understanding.

“Yeah, I think I kinda get it. It really sucked back home, but it was still home, ya know? And I agree, Gotham does have her ways of making you feel like she’s a part of you. We’ve only been here bout a month or so but I already feel like Ell and I are well on our way to become city slickers through and through.”

Jason chuckled, shaking his head and bringing his arm down to stand up straight. He decide to pursue the opening Danny had left.

“Speaking of Ell, she the reason your up so late?”

“Naw,” Danny’s smile grew a bit strained. “My little spitfire may have a lotta energy but the girl sleeps like the dead.” He grew a more subdued, looking down at his hands.

“Nah, this was something else.”

“Nightmare?” He probed gently.

Danny nodded.

Taking a breath, Jason said “Me too,” in a show of vulnerability that he found came surprisingly easy. Danny glanced at him sympathetically.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Kinda, but at the same time not really?”

Danny nodded as if he understood perfectly. Once more a comfortable silence overtook they began to shift closer. Even with the space between their fire escapes they felt impossibly close.

Danny interrupted the quiet with a light chuckle and Jason returned him a questioning glance. Danny shook his head,

“ Nothing I just think it’s kinda ironic we both came out to our fire escapes to escape our bad dreams.” He paused as his face clouded with confusion. “ Or at least I think it’s irony? Would you call it irony?”

“I think it might actually be symbolism but fuck if I know. I don’t have the mental capacity to figure which literary devices apply to our situation right now but remind me to come back to it later.”

Danny hummed in amusement before taking a deep breath.

“ I think I wanna talk about it.”

“Hmm?” Jason raised an eyebrow

“ I think I wanna talk about my dream.”

In a split second Jason makes a impulsive decision.

“Hold on,” he says, before climbing over the railing and extending his foot over to reach Danny’s fire escape.

“ What are you doing, ya maniac?!” Danny asked incredulously at Jason’s actions.

Jason stepped over onto the fire escape and shrugged as he walked over to Danny, “This felt like something I should be close for.”

The startled man seemed to loosen up and sunk to sit on the platform with his back to the railing. Jason joined him on the floor. They sat shoulder to shoulder, Danny staring at his trembling hand, and Jason, staring at him. Jason hand crept towards Danny’s, gentle taking it and interlacing the fingers.

Danny’s head swiveled to look at him and Jason returned him a gentle look and a squeezed his hand reassuringly. Faintly, the young man smiled and squeezed back. He took a deep breath and began.

" So you remember how you found my groceries in an alley the other day?”

Jason nodded.

“ Yeah well, the reason I left them there was because some mugger tried to kidnap Ellie. I ditched the groceries to grab her and get home.”

“ You did a smart thing,” Jason continued to nod as if he didn’t already know exactly what happened that day.

“ Mm I don’t doubt that, Ellie’s safety will always be my first priority. But the whole thing kinda brought up old fear. Some old … memories.”

A distant look grew on his face and Jason’s heart burned with sadness and anger for his friend.

“ The dream started out back in that alley. I had just pulled Ellie back into my arms but when I turned around it wasn’t the mugger standing there. It was Vlad.” Danny’s breath staggered before he continued.

“He started saying stuff about taking Ellie back since he’s the one who made her. The one who had wanted her originally, never mind that he’d lost interest after realizing she was a girl and not his perfect son. But he kept saying things about how he had more life experience and was better equipped to raise her. How he’d be able to do better than me and provide more for her. And for me, if I let him. I hated it. I hated him for leveraging his age and wealth to try to get into our lives again. I didn’t have many reservations about punching him in the face about it either.”

Danny tightened his grip around Jason’s hand. He squeezed back in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.

“I turned to leave but at the mouth the alley was a van. And not one of those stereotypical white vans they warn you kidnappers use. No. No, it was my parents’ van. They slid open the door and and I felt like I couldn’t move. I looked down and Ellie was gone. They-” the words started getting choked up in his throat. His eyes becoming glassy as he fought with his next words.

“ They wanted to take her too. They said they still loved me even though I was different and that they could fix me.” His voice grew frantic and shaky. “They thought they could ‘fix me’ but that Ellie’s existence was unnatural. That it’d be better if they took her and tried to raise in a ‘normal’ environment, especially if she showed signs of being unnatural too!”

Danny turned his face into Jason’s shoulder, trying to fight back tears.

“ And I know they don’t actually think like that- that I need to be fixed, at least not anymore. But, the idea that they’d try to take her from me? Raise her better than I could? It tore me up inside. How could they want to raise her when the barely raised me and my sister? When my sister raised me more than they did? How could I trust them not to get her involved in experiments when they still store chemical samples the same fridge as our food? How could I trust them when I told them I didn’t want to be around Vlad and they still let him into our house? Because ‘We’ve know good ol’ Vladdie since college! Nothing to worry about with him!’ even though I told them I-!”

He paused trying to catch his breath. Jason lifted his other arm to wrap around the crying young man, tucking him under his chin. Danny shifted, now shuddering into his chest. Jason could feel the Pits ignite a fire in soul. His blood boiled and a voice cried out for blood in recompense for his friend’s pain.

‘What type of shitty parents-! No. Later’ he tried to reign in the voice. ‘Being here for him now is more important.’ He held the other even closer.

Finally, Danny calmed himself enough to continue, “ I know they don’t think that now. I know that they love me and, and Ellie too- and I still love them too and I know that they want to be better. But they just don’t get it. That there’s a lot of reasons I don’t want to be around them anymore. Reasons I don’t bring Ellie around if I can help it. Even though it was just a dream I couldn’t handle the idea that they- that anyone might try to take Ellie from me.”

Jason tilted his head slightly to press a soft, comforting, kiss on the top of Danny’s head. He rubbed small circles on his back and murmured gently in his ear,

“It’s okay Danny. It’s okay to be mad and upset and scared. From the sounds of it you have ever right to be. It’s okay for you to worry. I have a friend ya know. He’s a recovered addict, started getting extra serious about staying sober when his ex dropped a daughter off on his doorstep because he was worried at every turn that if he slipped up or relapsed someone would take her away. I know that it’s not the same but I think every parent is entitled to worrying over losing their kid. And it sounds like your own parents haven’t done you too many favors in minimizing the worry. But you don’t have to hold yourself back from being afraid. You’re allowed to be afraid, or upset or whatever else you might be feeling.”

He finally let go of Danny’s hand in order to hold him properly, once again shifting their positions. Now, they sat perpendicularly, with Danny partway into his lap, pressed against his chest. After a while Danny wiped his tears, whispering out a thanks to Jason and allowed himself to be comforted.

They sat in delicate silence until Jason finally worked up the nerve to speak.

“So you probably know who I am right?”

Danny lifted his head from Jason’s chest to give him a confused eyebrow raise. “Yeah I think I’d know whose lap I’m on right now?”

“Not like that,” Jason blushed. “ I mean since you asked about volunteering you must know who I am in a larger context right?”

“ You mean do I know you’re beloved Gotham celebrity and non-profit worker: Jason Todd-Wayne? Because I do. I did research this city before moving here, believe it or not. Actually I remember seeing a bunch of articles about how one of Gotham’s beloved sons had returned home with your picture around that time?”

Jason touched the back of his neck, glancing away in embarrassment.

“Uh yeah that, so you’ve probably hear about my- uuh, ‘resurrection’, huh?”

Danny’s expression sobered up. His eyes darkened and his voice got all quiet, likely due to the serious nature of the discussion.

“Yeah, I did. The media claimed you had been in a kidnapping turned terrorist attack slash hostage situation? And that you had managed to survive and were taken in by family who help you recover and reconnect with your dad once you were ready?” Danny recounted the cover story they’d given to the public. There was something in his tone that made Jason think there was more he wasn’t mentioning but it was likely all speculation or more sensitive details.

“Was-… was that what your dream was about?”

Jason bowed his head into Danny’s shoulder, not having it in him to say it to his face.

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “It was.”

“Oh.”

Now it was Danny’s turn to hold Jason tight, one arm one his back and the other coming up to pet his hair, gently pressing the larger man further into his shoulder. It felt like something cracked open inside him. Suddenly, words came tumbling out before he could even think about them.

“ I was back in that warehouse. Laying on the ground, injured. I could hear someone crying. And- *gulp* -and his laughter before the explosion. It was … so hot. And when I woke up I couldn’t stand the thought of being trapped inside. The same way I was trapped … during some of the worst moments of my life. And I know I’m not there anymore but I’m still terrified by the memory! Sometimes I still get scared the man who took me the first time will find me again and I just-!”

He choked on a sob as Danny held him even tighter, as if trying to melt him into his skin.

“I just hated feeling that way so much!” He whimpered.

“It’s okay Jay, I’m here big guy. You can let it out.”

And for the first time in a long while Jason allowed himself to cry freely, sobbing into his neighbor’s shoulder. Danny continued to stroke his hair, rocking gentle as one would when comforting a child. But maybe that sort of gentleness was what Jason needed.

Once he heard Jason’s sobs subside Danny took a deep breath and spoke.

“You know what?”

“What?” Jason asked lifting his head to gaze into Danny’s icy blue eyes.

“I’m kinda glad I ended up out here tonight. I mean the nightmare sucked but at least I got to be here for you.” He smiled softly, “I’m in your corner if you ever need me.”

Jason couldn’t help the soft smile that worked it’s way onto his face.

“Yeah, me too. I’ll be there if you ever need help, with anything: Ellie, Vlad, your parents, your groceries.”

Danny giggled at that last part, knowing Jason was sincere. With a sigh he rested his cheek on Jason’s chest. Jason reach down to hold his hand again and the two enjoyed the feeling of holding someone who held them back.

With a sigh, Danny lifted his gaze from their hands to Jason’s face. Jason gave him a closed-mouth smile, his eyes asking if something was wrong.

“It’s the 4th of July in a few days.” He stated.

“Yes, it is.” Jason said back.

“If it’s not too short notice, Ellie and I would love to have you over again. We were gonna have barbecue and ice cream and then come out here and see if we could catch the fireworks. She’d love it if you could join us, and … and, well I would too.”

Jason swore Danny was looking at him with the biggest, roundest, most earnest eyes he’d ever seen, save for his daughter’s.

“ I’ll be there.”

Danny flushed at his quick response.

“Don’t wanna check your schedule first?”

“Doesn’t matter. I didn’t have anything else planned so I’ll do my best to be there.” He made sure the shorter man’s eyes met his as he said his next words. “Besides, I like spending time with the two of you too.”

‘His ears are pink, he’s just adorable.’ He thought to himself as Danny seemed brighten in a shy glow. He shifted in Jason’s lap, probably getting ready to get up when he did something that cause Jason to blue screen.

Danny tilted his head up planting a quick peck on his cheek before squeaking out a “see you then” and fleeing back into his apartment, leaving a wide-eyed Jason on the floor of his fire escape.

Jason sat there stunned, before a furious blush over took his face and decided to hurry back into his own apartment. The voice in his head came back to give its routine comments: ‘His lips are so soft, the stuff of dreams’

He somehow managed to blush even more violently. ‘Damn it’ he thought, shoving his head under his pillow, unable to tell whether he actually wanted to dream about Danny’s lips or not. ‘It’s actually embarrassing how worked I’m getting over a fleeting kiss on the cheek from a friend.’

~

~Bzzt~ “Calling for back up! Firefly decided to start his annual firework show early this year!” ~Bzzt~ Signal called through the emergency comms.

Jason cursed his luck, of course Firefly would attack just as he got off work! Now he might be late to dinner! He sighed and tried to look on the bright-side: If they dealt with this now that meant it was less likely for any of the other rouges to try anything later. Then, the comm crackled back to life.

~Bzzt~ “I could have got him by now but he keeps lightin’ more shit on fire! By the time I get the first fires under control and punch him in the face, he’s started 20 more! Normally I’d be able to handle it, but there’s a lot of civilians around right now and fires take priority. I just need someone to help me keep the guy down long enough to make the arrest.” ~Bzzt~

Jason started ducking through alleys trying to get to his near safe house in order to grab his gear. Hey called back to Duke over the comms.

“Signal, heard! I just got off work. See if you can herd him towards the Alley. It’ll give the Red Hood an excuse to show up and beat the shit outa him while you make sure nothing actually gets damaged. I’m heading to the safe house near the Catherine Johnson Rec Center. Try to get him at least two blocks away!”

~Bzzt~ “Heard!” ~Bzzt~

Jason tossed the comm to the side and started strapping into his body armor. He started fastening his helmet when felt something in the air change. Then the comms buzzed to life once more.

~Bzzt~ “Hood, I’ve got Firefly coming your way! He’s heading up Delancy Ave.!” ~Bzzt~

Hood readied his grapple on shot.

“Good, keep him there! I’ll see you in 5, Narrows!”

~Bzzt~ “On it! I’ll be waiting Alley!” ~Bzzt~

Jason swung through the rooftops, heading in the direction of the fires that kept spontaneously appearing and subsequently being extinguished.

When he arrived Hood found Signal split between stopping fires and engaging Firefly in combat. The madman was so absorbed in antagonizing Signal that he hadn’t noticed Hood’s approach. Signal was handling him pretty well but being unable to focus solely on the villain lowered his efficiency. Jason’s mind wandered back to his friend, who had wanted to see him tonight, and decided he’d end this quickly.

You see for all his bulk and bullheadedness Jason was still a highly trained and intelligent individual. Maintaining the element of surprise he approached in the shadows silently looking down from his perch on an adjacent building. He made subtle gestures for Signal to move the guy into place, which he returned with the slightest of nods. Signal moved Firefly over to the side of the building closest to Jason’s position. Jason got ready took make use of his high ground, tapping into what he learned from Dick.

With a deep breath Jason runs up and launches himself into a triple forward somersault, building up power and momentum. In midair he took account of his bearings, aiming his feet at Firefly’s back.

Firefly goes down like he’s been hit by a semi.

“AND THATS WHY YOU STAY OUTA THE ALLEY FUCKER!” Jason shouts, crouching over the rouge who was quickly losing consciousness. Even though it’d been his plan to lure him here Jason was still protective of what was his. And Crime Alley? Crime Alley was his territory.

He stands up and gives Signal a celebratory high five.

“Nice going, ya tank! I thought he’d never go down!”

“No problem, Dayshift! Nice work handling him, you’d have gotten him eventually. I just sped up the process.”

“Thanks Hood, I ‘preciate it.”

“Soooo, you good here oorrr…?”

“Yeah, I’ve got it. Get outa here before the cops show up and arrest you,” Signal dismissed him.

Jason gave him a quick, two-finger salute before running off to change before he was late to dinner.

~

Jason arrives at the Nightingales’ red faced and out of breath. His hair is a windswept mess and his clothes slightly messy from his quick change. He knocks on the door desperately trying to tame his hair and adjust his t-shirt and jeans.

Jason feels a burst of cool air as the door opens and he’s greeted by a smiling Danny and a surprised Ellie. He smiles at the two but Danny speaks before he’s got the chance.

“ Surprise! It’s Jason!” He says with some mild jazz hands.

To which seem to Ellie explode in glee. Jason swears she’s vibrating with how fast she’s bouncing.

“The secret surprise guest was Mr. Jason! Awesome!”

And just like that there is small child attached to his leg. He looks down at her, then up at Danny, who’s holding in laughter, then back at Ellie. Then he bursts out laughing. He bends down down to scoop the young girl up into his arms and she lets out a small “whoa!” Jason follows Danny into the apartment, Ellie resting on his hip.

“It’s nice to see you to princess!”

“Mr. Jason! You’re not wearing any red!”

“Huh?”

He looks down to see the young girl scrutinizing his plain white shirt and blue jeans and looks questioningly at Danny. The young man takes pity on him and explains.

“Ellie really wanted to wear red, white and blue for the 4th of July,” gesturing to his own outfit: a pair of blue jeans, a white shirt with a logo for a band called Fifth World Raga, and a lightweight red flannel wit the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

“That’s right! I have a white skirt and socks, and a blue top and tiara, and my cardigan, my sneakers and beanie are all red!” She showed off. Then she pointed at Jason.

“You’ve gotta white shirt and blue jeans but no red!” Then she gasped, “Oooooh! I have an idea! Wait here!” She said, scrambling off to her room.

Jason looked at Danny who smiled and shrugged helplessly in a “eh, whadda ya gonna do” sort a fashion. To which Jason just huffed in amusement.

That’s when Ellie rushed back in, holding something behind her back. She patted Jason’s thigh indicating for him to bend down, to which he obliged by crouching down to her level.

“Close your eyes!”

Jason shut his eyes. He felt something being placed around his neck and on his head.

“Open them!”

Jason found himself looking into a small purple hand held mirror. Ellie had placed a cheap red-beaded party necklace around his neck and a silver tiara with red gems on his head, one to match her own silver and blue one.

“I have lotsa tiaras so you can borrow this one so that you can have red! And you can even keep the necklace!”

Jason’s internal monologue nearly burst into tears. ‘She’s an angel! She’s bestowed such a wonderful gift Must. Protect. At All Costs!’

He heard Danny burst into laughter but focused his attention on the grinning girl in front of him.

“Thank you so much Princess! I love it! Just what I needed! I’m honored to receive such a thoughtful gift!

“Yeah Ellie, it looks great on him!” Danny chimed in between chuckles.

“That’s great daddy b’cause I found a white one for you! Now we can all match!”

Danny stopped laughing and Jason returned him a wicked grin.

“Yeah, your highness! We can all match! Besides, what’s a king without his crown!”

Danny sighed, placing the tiara on his head.

“Thanks Ell, I love it.”

“Your welcome daddy!”

“Alright, now go wash your hands for dinner!”

“Okay!”

And the girl scurried off to wash her hands. Jason grinned at the interaction. He waited till the girl was gone before turning to Danny.

“Looking good your highness,” he teased.

“Oh, hush you!” Danny flushed. “Come help me set the table. It’s not a traditional barbecue but I made some chili, hotdogs, veggie skewers, and some coleslaw. We’ve also got fruit salad and some soda pop in the fridge. Ellie wanted to do a homemade version of chili dogs and I had to insist on some fruits and veggies in there. Ancients knows she needs her nutrients! If you could be a dear and grab some plates off the drying rack that’d be great!”

“Of course, your highness! You had me at chili,” Jason said following Danny into the kitchen.

~

Later that evening after finishing up with dinner. Danny herded them all onto the fire escape with some frozen treats. Ellie had drumstick ice cream cone, Jason an ice cream bar, and Danny an orange popsicle.

“I don’t know if we’ll be able to see the fireworks from here but fingers crossed we do. Just don’t be too disappointed if you can’t see them alright Ell?” Danny told his daughter.

“It’s okay daddy! Even if I don’t see the fireworks I still have you and Mr. Jason and my ice cream!”

Jason and Danny looked at each other sharing the same thoughts: ‘She’s so precious!!!!’

Then the tell tale boom of fireworks started and the trio turned their attention to the sky. A streak of red danced across the sky before it burst into a shower of ruby colored sparks. Then came gold, and green and blue and white. One after another in a barrage of sound and color. And they were just able to see it above the end of the alley.

Ellie let out an awed “Whooooaaaa” as she watched the colors dance across the sky. She turned back to her dad tugging on his sleeve and point up at the sky. He chuckled, picking her up to give her a better view pointing at the sky with her saying, “Look at that one!”

It was near enough to make Jason’s own heart burst.

“Beautiful.”

“I know right!” Danny said, glancing back at him, talking about the fireworks. Silently, Jason thought about the way both of the Nightingales’ glossy black hair reflected the fireworks colors in their sheen.

Then Danny turned to hand his phone to Jason.

“Would you mind taking a picture of us?” He asked. “I never had many growing up and I want this to be something she’ll remember.” Looking back down at the child on his hip.

“Of course I can,” he said, taking the phone in his hand. “Smile!”

Jason looked down at the photo he snapped when he saw something that made his heart stall. It was a good photo, both Danny and Ellie smiling at the camera while the remains of a fireworks fell behind them in a shower of fading light. What stopped him in his tracks was the soft look on his own reflection in the window of the apartment staring at Danny and Ellie.

And he realized, ‘Oh. I like Danny’

And he doesn’t know when he zoned out and missed Danny taking his phone back, but he zones right back in when two arms are thrown over his shoulders and suddenly he’s in a selfie sandwich. Both Nightingales press close, Ellie throwing up a peace sign while Danny snaps the photo.

The two laugh at his startled face and he can’t help the laugh that bursts out of him.

“Hey! I wanna redo!”

~

That night Jason tosses and turns in bed while his brain replays images of Danny: his smile, his lips, his laugh, the way he licks an ice pop. If he hadn’t realized earlier then he definitely knows now.

Jason Todd has an undeniable, unequivocal crush on Daniel Nightingale.

~~~ I tried with that fight scene but I don’t have a lotta experience there. I know this is a fluff fic so sorry to angst you but it’s necessary for hurt/comfort. Have some “Jason accepts his feelings” to make up for it. Sorry if it’s too clunky or dialogue heavy. I’m open to constructive criticism so let me know what you think.

Fifth World Raga is a real band in the DCU their a rock band and their music is described as quote “spiritual in nature” so I feel like it fit Danny’s vibe.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Based on your last post- how would you handle a villain Adrien arc? Would it be from the get-go, or would you have him change sides somewhere along the line? Would it be of his own choice and motivations, or would he be coerced into it? (Or some mix of the two where he disagrees with the method his father does things but goes along because he has the same motive, his mom?)

(Post in question)

Villain Adrien is an incredibly hard sell for me. I can only think of one fic that felt reasonably in character and I think it only worked because it starts after Gabriel's defeat, so you don't have to actually see Adrien being evil. Anything that actually tries to show Adrien willingly hurting others just doesn't work. It doesn't feel like Adrien. Lashing out in the moment might* fit him, but prolonged villainy? Nope. You'd have to take his character through a damnation arc to make it fit. While canon has set him up for one, I don't particularly want to see that. Canon Adrien has suffered enough.

So why would I suggest villain Adrien as a solution?

I have actually spent a good deal of time trying to figure out how to make Adrien work as a villain because it's a semi-popular premise and I enjoy a writing challenge. After a lot of thought, I have a solution that I think would work. I will probably never write this fic, but the basic ideas are simple enough that I can explain the first act and why I think it would work as a way to take Miraculous beyond the Gabriel conflict.

The story would start in much the same way we already see in Origins. Gabriel activates the butterfly, leading to Fu choosing Marinette and Adrien. The big difference is that, this time around, Gabriel and Emilie tell Adrien almost everything. Adrien knows that his mother is in a coma, that the miraculous exist, and that a wish can fix everything. He just doesn't know that the wish has a downside because Gabriel didn't share that little detail. So, when Adrien gets his miraculous, he sees this as a way to fix everything. Just like in canon, he doesn't let Plagg explain everything. Instead, Adrien immediately transforms and seeks out his partner only, this time, he tries to get her earrings off of her. She knows that's a bad thing and runs away, leaving him confused. He goes to his father who is able to get his hands on the ring long enough to command Plagg's silence about the wish's downsides, ensuring Adrien is kept in the dark.

This leads to a short arc where Gabriel uses akumas to draw Ladybug out so her and Chat Noir can "talk" or something along those lines, but it doesn't go well and Adrien isn't okay with attacking the city. It isn't long before he switches sides and Gabriel is defeated, but the damage is done re Ladynoir. Marinette gets to do her "Adrien is evil" first impression, but while it's still a misunderstanding, it's not a minor one that can be solved with an umbrella in the rain. Fu is much more understanding and forgiving, so he doesn't take the black cat back, leading into a wider story where Adrien and Marinette have to fight a new evil while Marinette struggles to see past her first impression. So it's not so much evil Adrien so much as misguided and manipulated Adrien who has to win his Lady's trust and prove that he really is a hero while also working through his own guilt about everything that happened with his father.

*Quick note: canon has Adrien lash out in anger, so I can't say it's wrong to write him like that, but I think it's a massive misstep writing wise. The black cat's power set needs to be in the hands of someone who doesn't lash out in anger. Harsh words, sure, but cataclysms? Hard no. Season five made Adrien come across as totally unsuited to his powers.

[aroaceleovaldez]

do you have anymore rogue demigod headcanons? recently i've been thinking of my own rogue demigod ocs and trying to come up with ideas for them

BOY DO I

Okay i have a lot of very niche thoughts about how rogue demigods work and the sort of loose culture they have as a collective group. I'll go over the main thoughts I have and throw some bonus loose rogue concepts at the bottom of the post just for fun if anyone wants oc ideas. Below a cut cause i've thought about this a lot so there's. a lot:

Most rogues take the "names have power" thing a lot more seriously than campers do, since they don't have the protection of the camps to help them. As a result, many rogues go by "rogue names" or pseudonyms. Some chose their names on the spot, others slowly gained a name over time or were nicknamed by other rogues. Some may choose to not go by a rogue name, but many at least have one even if they don't always use it. Some rogue name hcs I have for specific canon characters include: "Hound" or "Hound of Hades" for Nico (cause hellhounds, also rogues making jokes about him being "the camps'/Olympians' dog"), "Rue" for Chris (named himself after Clarisse cause he missed her, though he's too bashful about it to admit it), Luke's was "Titan," and Hylla's being "Twice-Kill" is just canon. It's also fun to play around with how common some rogue names might be ("Wolf" and other animal names are definitely popular), how silly some might be (Just the first thing that popped into their head, their old street/town name, a famous actor or character, a youtuber's name/handle, cryptids, etc etc. "Ender" is also definitely popular. yknow. from Minecraft), and what stereotypes might be associated with rogue names/common rogue names. You can get real funky with it really easily. I'm personally a big fan of there being a rogue joke about people with animal-themed rogue names, just because of how common they probably are. It's probably rare that somebody earns an animal-themed rogue name from the collective community rather than just picking it themself. Also easy jokes about rogues sliding by with youtuber names or similar just cause most rogues can't access the internet, so they don't get the reference.

Almost all rogues knew about other mythologies/pantheons way before the camps did. It's a very open-secret type of thing. It's pretty impossible for them to not run into demigods from other pantheons living like they do. They just generally don't tell camper demigods about it, partially because it's sort of an unspoken rogue agreement to keep it secret from them for general demigod safety and also because most rogues don't like campers, so it's kind of a joke to keep them in the dark. Titan Army demigods were very well aware of both camps in particular.

The Amazons, Hunters, Circe's Sorceresses, and other rogue groups are also fully aware of this but don't ever mention it, even if they're camp-affiliated. The sorceresses just generally didn't run into campers enough for it to be relevant (and the campers they did run into probably never went back). For Amazons they're probably just too focused in profits to bother stirring up trouble by telling the camps about it. The Hunters probably don't mention it for the safety of the camps.

Camp Jupiter is very anti-rogue and hostile towards rogues in general. It's very rare that rogues are able to join the legion, and anyone who leaves to become a rogue is formally exiled and can't ever return. Most people who join the legion have to either be sponsored by a retired legionnaire family living outside of camp or just wholly directed to camp by a god (or representative of a god - see: Nico for Hazel). Rogues particularly hate CJ because of that. CHB on the other hand is perfectly willing to take in former rogues and there are plenty of ex-rogues in CHB who are fully aware of other pantheons. They just. Don't feel like ever mentioning it. Rogues are generally a bit kinder towards CHB because of their more open friendliness towards rogues, and will help direct new demigods towards CHB fairly often. They're still not fans of it most of the time, but they understand rogue life isn't for everyone and that it's safer, at least.

A lot of rogues take mercenary work, or other hired jobs. Technically this one is just kind of canon. See: Lots of TOA rogues, even some rogues from PJO and HoO are implied to have been hired by the Titan Army or Giant Army (or Octavian). This line of work is seen as totally legitimate to rogues, though there's a lot of different opinions within rogue circles about how it should be gone about. The most common opinion is that it's taboo to take or hire hits on those who run safehouses. Rogue safehouses are usually considered off-limits for any kind of targeting, and trying to target them is sure to ruin your reputation. Stealing or inter-rogue violence is generally considered on the table though. It's largely a lawless space. If you're particularly cruel or try to throw your weight around a lot though, you're sure to be ostracized by other rogues. Because of this, groups like the Titan Army who vocally advertised a lot of trying to make life better for rogues were popular, but other groups like the Giant Army or Tri are significantly less popular because they're seen as just power-grabs trying to hire extra muscle because they can't handle their petty squabbles on their own. Most rogues who joined the Giant Army or Tri were either indebted to them somehow or really desperate and willing to take more dubious jobs.

Norse rogues are actually significantly more common than Greek or Roman rogues, as they don't have any options for a camp to train at instead of living as a rogue, and get hunted down by monsters once they become old enough often regardless of specific parentage. Norse rogues are often more willing to take more dangerous work, as they hope it will either attract the attention of their godly parents to help them or if they build up reputation and die valiantly it will be enough to get them into Valhalla.

Safehouses are rare, but not unheard of. They're mostly just rare because their success rates vary wildly, and many try to build one but fail. The successful ones are often widely known in rogue circles, and there are some that are trade/gathering hubs to find work or restock supplies (and catch up on news). Most are considered peaceful zones, though there are some where combat is allowed, or may even have spectator sports like gladiator battles or etc where rogues can try to build up their reputations and notoriety.

Not every demigod benefited from Percy's deal that the Olympians had to claim all their kids - for some, they could have otherwise slid under the radar, but being claimed caught the attention of monsters and forced them on the run. Some got claimed in the middle of doing something in their mundane lives (with the gods doing some mass-claimings after the war) and had to run away on the spot, and resent Percy/CHB/The Olympians for it.

Free to use rogue demigod concepts:

Amazons and Hunters count as rogues! Anything with them is always fun. Ex-Circe sorceresses are also very fun.

Titan Army, Giant Army, and Tri rogues are also always very fun to play with.

Rogue satyrs, fauns, and nymphs! Or monsters/part-monsters, even!

Cursed rogues! Maybe they're part-monster, and/or the curse is part of them being banished/exiled somehow.

Rogues who run safehouses, or rogues who don't run safehouses but live there. What's their community like? How does it function? What are the rules there, and what's life like there? What's their role?

Think of a rogue name and then make a character themed around that. It's VERY fun I highly recommend it, especially if the names are leaning silly. Rogues stealing youtuber names, or their favorite anime characters, or some other pop-culture reference and hoping nobody notices. Rogue named Vriska or Sans or something. Rogues named after Pokemon. Get funky with it.

Rogues who work with monsters, or have alliances with them! How did their alliance come to be? Is it reliable? Why do they work together - what do either of them get out of it? etc etc.

Mercenary rogues, or other rogues who do hired work. Who are their clients, and what does their work entail? How does that impact their reputations?

Rogues who were revived with the Doors of Death. what were their lives like before they died? How did they die? How did they come back? Were they ever part of the Giant Army? What's their second life like?

Multiple generation rogues! Second-gen or third-gen rogues who were born into rogue life outside the camps but have always known about demigod communities.

Demigod who got claimed unexpectedly from the post-Titan War mass-claiming stuff and was forced on the run.

Norse rogues! Rogues from different pantheons! Or even rogue magicians! How do their lives differ from Greek/Roman demigods? What do they get up to?

[bluegekk0]

you mentioned how Lurien kinda has a target on his back. does he ever worry about assasination attempts? also I know he has body guards, but could he fight in self-defence if necessary?

Yes, that is something he worries about. He's aware that if something happens to him at this point in time, the city would be left without someone fitting to lead it. Even his butler, whom he entrusted the role of the Watcher, wouldn't make for a good leader. Lurien is one of the very few bugs who remember what the city used to be like, and he has the skill needed to make that vision into reality. It will take time, but he will get there.

And he's not the only one aware of his importance. The criminals who made the city their home during the infection, seeking to exploit its vulnerabilities, absolutely see him as a threat. Ever since he took over as the leader of the city, the streets have seen an increase in guard patrols, and the mysterious deaths of their companions and work partners have left them on edge.

Whether they have the means to actually try to assassinate him is another story. There are districts they have more control over, but Lurien rarely goes there, and if he does, it's with his most skilled guards. They might still be numerous (ironically, the city returning to life offers even more opportunities for thieves and other criminals, so those seeking riches often find their way to the criminal underground), but they lack the mobilization and training, which means they can't put those numbers to good use.

There is also the aspect of the killer who does Lurien's bidding. They haven't figured out who it is yet - Grimm hunts quietly and effectively, and leaves no witnesses. Any attempt at trying to get rid of Lurien means painting a target on their back, and then it's simply a matter of time until they end up dead in a dark alley. Simply put, they are too scared to do anything drastic, and instead choose to stay hidden.

Of course, Lurien doesn't know that. His excellent vision sadly doesn't do much to help him figure out what those thugs are planning. Besides, the criminals are just one of the problems the city faces, and there are simply matters that require too much attention to investigate anything else. Grimm also refuses to do it for him, he wants to remain inconspicuous since that makes his job easier, and he also has better things to do in his own life.

All that means that he has good reasons to fear assassination attempts, he doesn't know what to expect, and that scares him. Not enough to give up on the city, far from it, that fear motivates him to gather enough strength to finally deal with the issue once the time is right. But it will be a while until he can solely focus on that, so until then, he supplies Grimm with a list of known criminal targets and has him keep them in check.

And to answer the second part of the question, yes, he is decent at fighting back. Those claws aren't just for show, and he's actually quite tall compared to an average bug. Unfortunately he possesses no special abilities, and he's not particularly good at fighting with a nail. He can, however, shoot with a ranged weapon (maybe some kind of crossbow? If that exists in their world), so he would be able to handle a distant threat. He is quite vulnerable against armored opponents though, his claws aren't sharp enough to harm them. So he definitely needs his bodyguards who are skilled in direct combat. Would he be able to defend himself if necessary? If it was a thug with a knife, then yes, I think so. But he would struggle against someone who's properly armed.

(Sorry if this is written poorly, I'm feeling a little distracted. Hope it answers your question though!)

[hprewetts]

what’s the backstory of your oc maisie?

thank you so much for asking @spooky-albi-bumblebee ! particularly because it gives me the opportunity to yap about Maisie, which is something I'm always more than eager to do

(I don't often post about Maisie in this sideblog, but @romulumiko is my archive for all things maisie, where i usually reblog posts and pictures that I exclusively use when i'm creating and plotting maisie. i haven't decided in what blog i'd post her fic though)

Maisie's backstory is not something fixed in the narrative (because i love torturing myself and decided to write her into all seven books) so her character expands and grows as the series goes on

I can't exactly go into details, since my plans include writing all this into a proper full length fic, which I've been chipping away at since ealier this year

But as you can see, I have many things arranged for Maisie and her place in the series, so like I said, there is no concrete "backstory" for maisie as much as there is a background for her life before Hogwarts (being Ron's more academically inclined twin) and the things that happen thereafter

But despite the tremendous effort, this also lends itself to a more dynamic handling of her personality and relationships with others throughout the story

Indeed, much like her developing friendship with Harry and later romance (because I'm a sucker for protagonists), my plans have Maisie colorfully interacting with many characters in the books, from Cho Chang to professor Lupin and Snape

Regardless, I do think there is a certain character that shapes Maisie more than others, and which catapult her place in the story and character development, that being Tom Riddle

I don't remember when exactly I decided that maisie would be using the diary instead of ginny (sorry ginny fans), but by the time maisie's second year rolls around, she is in a particularly vulnerable spot, isolated from her family, who all got sorted into gryffindor, and alienated from her peers in ravenclaw.

much of maisie's conflict throughout the books relies on her being the only member of the weasley family to be in a different house to Gryffindor, although it does not stem only from her sorting, but by a life long sense of otherness she has cultivated for feeling the only different one in a big family like the weasleys

Maisie's curiosity and love for magical creatures (and consequently her understanding of magic as a dynamic force present in the world that surrounds her), makes her more susceptible to the temptation of learning about the Dark Arts, as she is prone to more shades of grey in its use and interpretation than most characters in the series. This makes her understanding of magic similar to characters like Snape and Voldemort (as @ saintsenara brilliantly illustrates in her voldemort/hermione and snape/hermione metas) who are, not coincidentally, prominent Dark Arts users.

Likewise, her sorting in Ravenclaw is not just for show. There is an interesting overlap between Ravenclaws and Slytherins in relation to their ambition and how they approach Dark Magic. Unsurprisingly, all the ambitious and/or popular characters we see in the series (those who don't belong to Slytherin), like Lockhart, Cho Chang (or even the House's Ghost the Grey Lady, who stole her mother's crown due to a feeling of inferiority), are pointedly Ravenclaws.

As we are told by JK in Pottermore, Quirrel first embarked in his journey to Albania to "find whatever remained of the Dark wizard, partly out of curiosity [...] [Quirrell fantasised that he] at best, might learn skills from Voldemort", attenting to this trait of Ravenclaws sometimes disregarding communal perceptions of right and wrong, whereas for academic recognition, personal curiosity or outright eccentricity.

All of this is to say, the most important part of Maisie's story is definitely, as I envision it now, her encounter with Tom Riddle's diary during CoS and their year long situationship.

Genre conventions didn't really allow for any exploration of how Tom Riddle's manipulation of Ginny post CoS affected her later on, which I believe is definitely a pity. I emphasize my definition of Maisie and Tom's relationship as a "situationship", even if they are never explicitly described as being in a romantic relationship, because of the grooming qualities in the canon text of Ginny's relationship with Tom Riddle (once again explained masterfully in one of saintsenara's meta) which I'm choosing to run along with very excitedly

(I have, after all, a lot of Fionna Apple songs in my tomaisie playlist)

If you made it to the end, congratulations! And thank you so much for bearing with me and my needlessly wordy response. I'm leaving a excerpt of "Maisie reviving Tom" scene from the wip archive and a little low effort study i did of a picture of Lily Cole, who I liberally use as a faceclaim for Maisie

[snaggletoothedbastard]

i did this a while ago and now i'm redoing it from a new perspective

rating the tma fears on how likely i am to serve them

(not how much they scare me but how much i vibe with them)

the eye

i do like to Know Things

the idea of knowing Everything about someone though......and the idea of someone knowing Everything about me........nahh i could not handle that shit

telepathy sounds appealing because i very rarely understand people and i'm always paranoid about the idea of being lied to HOWEVER i would feel way too guilty about invading people's privacy

plus all that Knowledge sounds overwhelming

3/10

the stranger

the stranger has a weird thing about skin

i hate skin it's gross and uncomfortable (i have eczema and sensory issues <3)

i find the uncanny valley rather terrifying but i also feel like i exist in the uncanny valley because i'm autistic and regularly feel like a Thing pretending to be a person so i do kinda vibe with that

i think i'd get on well with the anatomy students honestly

6/10

the corruption

going back to the subject of skin, jane prentiss' statement fucks me up because the whole thing about itching is Too Relatable

eczema genuinely feels like there's something crawling around under my skin sometimes

i don't really vibe with bugs though

i do want to be consumed by what loves me

5/10

the desolation

honestly this seems like one of the most fun fears

you just set fire to things

watching things burn is strangely satisfying

the cult of the lightless flame are fucking pretentious though, i wouldn't join them

8/10

the hunt

i hate being chased and i hate chasing things

i do like to bite things though

1/10

the vast

this is the most chill fear i think

but i don't think i would get yoinked by it because i don't do much stuff that involves heights

and when i do i don't particularly enjoy it

it's not my biggest fear though.......i'm kind of indifferent to be honest

1/10

the dark

i am scared shitless of the dark

i have visual snow and sometimes it makes me see shapes in the dark and that freaks me the fuck out

i am an adult and i still sleep with a nightlight fuck you

1/10

the lonely

the lonely fucks me up especially right now because i'm currently in a state of self-loathing and feeling like i'm too different from everyone to connect to them and that is a very lonely feeling and i despise it

peter lukas can get fucked

i want this fear to stay the fuck away from me and i would actively avoid it if it was real but i'm so messed up at the moment that it might overpower me

4/10

the slaughter

i often want to fight someone but no-one will fight me because i'm small and weak and i have sensory issues and i will scream if someone touches my shoulders

i think i like the idea of fighting because i love deep pressure so if i was wrestling someone and they just like pinned me down i would probably be fine with that

and i know getting stabbed or cut or shot would hurt like hell but there's something weirdly enticing about it.........jesus christ i'm not okay

i am also unfortunately not very good at managing anger. i'm getting better but it's still hard. i tend to become self-destructive when i'm angry rather than other-people-destructive

7/10

the extinction

nope

1/10

the end

i still fear death

i fear other people's deaths more than my own

especially because my best friend has been slapped in the face by his own mortality several times and sometimes jokes about it and every time he does i'm just like "dude please don't die"

my obsession with skeletons and being a skeleton has helped me feel more calm about death though because when i die and my flesh decomposes i'll be a skeleton and that's what i want

2/10

the flesh

please let me fuck up my body with no consequences pleeeease

if i can't be a skeleton i want to be the most disturbing creature imaginable

i mean the idea of being bred for meat is obviously terrifying

but the Vibes.......this fear could have been so good for exploring gender and disability and i'm a little sad they didn't do that but i still like it

9/10

the spiral

i am not a who, archivist, i am a what

i'm already insane, the spiral would just make the insanity sexy

i'm not a very good liar but no-one's perfect

i am incomprehensible and mentally unwell and if the spiral takes away the ability to feel shame about that then sign me the fuck up

10/10

the web

i could manipulate people if i really wanted to

i say, having never actually tried

i'm not a fan of spiders

i am a control freak but i generally just like to be in control of myself, like i hate being told what to do but i also hate telling other people what to do y'know?

4/10

[im-literally-so-dun]

HELLO I have a terrible cold and desire knowledge infodump about your latest obsessive fascination please

-cracks knuckles- so this only took like three days to answer— anyWHOO!

The Amazing Spider-Man is a reboot of the classic Spider-Man story, which Sony released in 2012, starring Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone. Rather than focusing on the more traditional aspects of Spidey's story, Sony decided to put a spin on it. This universe is a bit darker, a little grittier. Peter might be a nerd, but he's a skateboarder. And he's not all sweet natured and well meaning, like Tobey's Peter was. Instead, he's a little angrier, more hurt. This Gwen isn't some helpless maiden in need of rescuing, she can save herself— and all of New York, too

The original plan was to release a trilogy of movies, with the first one involving The Lizard as a villain, with a dastardly plan to evolve all of humanity into lizards as well— better, stronger, more adaptable creatures. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014), features Electro, a former nobody who just wants some recognition in the world. He wants to feel noticed— and Spidey helps him feel noticed. For a second, at least. Till a hitman ruins it, and Electro feels betrayed. They also introduced Harry Osborne's Green Goblin and teased the Sinister Six in this movie. The third and would-be final installment in the trilogy was actually canceled, so my boy never got a good conclusion to his story

As a baby comics nerd, I feel kinda obligated to like the Tobey Maguire trilogy best, because they're generally considered the most comics-accurate. But I just… don't. They don't feel as real, the acting isn't as good, they don't cause as much emotion. You don't care about the characters as much. Yeah, the TASM movies had some major flaws that I would love to elaborate on eventually, but they had so much heart. You can't help but root for this kid who seems to have drawn all the wrong cards, because he means well. He knows he's smart and he's got a responsibility to use the gifts he's been given to help the world. And he wants to. Really, he does. Who doesn't want to be a hero?

But how can he be one, when he's lost nearly everyone and everything that mattered to him? One thing I desperately hate about the franchise is how they take everyone from Peter. His parents. His father figure. His mentor. His girlfriend. His best friend. And, to make it even better? It's his fault. All of it. If he'd been able to predict that this would happen, if he'd just listened, if he'd been faster… how can you keep fighting when you don't have anything left? There's not much reason for him to keep going, not with what they've set canon up as

And the plot… -shivers- look, as much as I adore staring at 2012 Andrew Garfield's big brown puppy eyes, that can't help how exceedingly fast-paced, and utterly overwhelming TASM 2 was. They packed way too much into too short a time. Two villains, setting up five more, discovering your parents deep dark history—and how one of them might still be alive?—losing your girlfriend, college? That's a Lot. To be quite honest, the plot feels extremely choppy and doesn't flow particularly well. I do think that if they'd kept a lot of the scenes they cut, it would've flowed much better and made significantly more sense. But long runtimes are bad! Yada-yada. They kinda sold this would-be trilogy short, and still expected it to do well?

Overall. There's so much to love about these two movies and I'll admit there's also a lot to dislike about them. But Andrew Garfield's puppy eyes can really only do so much XD Perhaps, if they'd been handled slightly differently, they'd slowed the plot down, given Peter something else to fight for, something to really live for; they could've been way more successful. But I really wouldn't call them bad. This world and how they've set it up is fascinating and you can't help but caring about the characters! I may or may not be working on a fic for the would've been third movie…. 👀

[glitch-man]

My Hero Academia

I have a lot of problems with this Anime/Manga. I used to be a big fan of it back in like 2016-2017 when it was getting really popular and the anime was in its first two seasons. But now I have so many problems with it, and that's not to say that it's the worst anime/manga around or anything. I just have a lot of frustration with it that I need to vent I guess. There are going to a lot of Manga spoilers, so you might not want to read this if you aren't caught up or anime only.

A starting point is a little difficult to really come up with so I'm going to start with the main character Deku.

Deku is not the best protagonist. Personality wise I think he's fine at least, heck I'd even say I like him personality wise. It's just that he is not well utilized by the story. His arc in the manga just seems to be gaining confidence and getting better with his powers. That's not a terrible arc in it of itself, but I don't think MHA does a particularly great job of it. In the whole of it it feels like the only real reason he isn't confident at the start of the story is because he doesn't have a quirk. And once he gets One for All the main reason he isn't confident is because he can't use it properly. This again really isn't a bad thing in it of itself. Yet, when put together it makes him feel way flatter than he should be. It makes it feel like his only real flaw is that he can't use his power properly. He doesn't have any other problems in regards to his attitude or personality. The immediate impulse for a lot of people would to make him darker/edgier, but he doesn't really need to be morally grey to be interesting he needs a flaw that is meaningfully shown. For example he feels like he isn't enough and in spite of having one of the most powerful quirks and the mentorship of his idol he still feels insecure and not enough or a flaw that is sort of shown he has, but it isn't meaningfully expanded upon until the Dark Hero Arc (and even then the quality of it there is arguable) he's overly self sacrificing to the point of pushing people away and hurting himself and others due to it. These aren't amazing suggestions honestly, they are just some examples of ideas of flaws that could be used to give him a greater level of depth. But also it mildly implies that being quirkless is his main problem and that is not great honestly.

And quirklessness in the context of MHA is not handled well. There are 3 types of discrimination in the world of MHA. The first that is shown is being quirkless, the second is having a villainous quirk, and the last is having some amount of inhuman appearance. The way these are shown in the narrative all have their own problems, but let's start with quirklessness. This is set up extensively in the first chapter, it is the initial conflict of the series. And it factors into the plot so little. There are three characters in the manga that were born quirkless, and all of these characters in some way get a quirk. There are characters that lose their quirk, but most of those are characters in spinoff material or literally just lost their quirk like with the last 20 chapters. Ragdoll being the only character that lost their quirk and has had a genuine emotional reaction to it (Also Mirio, but he got his power back). She is obviously upset because she essentially has become disabled, being unable to do something she was previously able to do losing her job and passion in the process. Which is upsetting in context, but being quirkless is only really shown in the narrative as a bad thing that people want to avoid and is tragic when it happens. In the world of MHA it is around 10 to 20 percent of the global population, for reference 10 percent of the real world population is left handed.

Why is all of this a problem? The story spends so much of the first few chapters on Deku being quirkless, and it is in effect a large bit of wordbuilding that goes unused for most of the story and the affect on the story is minimal. There is no scene in the manga where quirkless characters are discriminated against other than Deku. Deku doesn't see someone discriminated against for being quirkless and get mad about it. There is also theme that hero society is corrupted and flawed and quirklessness is never highlighted in regards to its flaws. Either for how they get treated or how the destruction of hero society would effect quirkless people. This doesn't have to be the biggest deal because this is a superhero story that has superhero main characters, it wouldn't be great if was just ignored all together, but the fact that two other forms of discrimination are highlighted as a bad thing and a core reason as to why 'hero society' is flawed. Yet is so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. And you can look at it as a superhero version of a disability and it cares so little about that. And I am not trying to say that MHA is problematic because of it and the people that created it and enjoy it are bad people. I'm just pointing out a problem I noticed.

But more about 'Hero Society' and the main antagonist Shigaraki. I don't really like Shigaraki all that much. He has some good things about him, like his power is interesting and his backstory is really good, but as a character in the narrative he doesn't really feel like he does anything. Shigaraki has very little agency in the narrative IMO. He mostly gets directed to go do things by other people or he does stuff that doesn't really feel motivated by anything in specific. This problem comes to a comedic crescendo when (spoiler) All for One implants a part of his consciousness into Shigaraki and effectively takes over his mind and body literally taking all of Shigaraki's agency away. Part of the reason Shigaraki's actions don't really feel motivated is because his stated motive is "the end of hero society" and like that is such a vague goal. The reason it is so vague is because MHA does a terrible job of showing all the corruption and problems inherent to it. He is being presented as being correct about the flaws, but misguided in his methods. But outside of backstory the only time before the final saga, which starts around 300 chapters in, the only meaningful time we are shown any of the problems that affect people are Deku being discriminated against for being quirkless (which as I said before doesn't really matter) and Shinso being disliked for his Villainous quirk. All of the other times are backstory (Which FYI is mostly just Shigaraki's backstory) and lip service that we are told instead of being shown. The only morally corrupt we get shown is Endeavor, who gets a lot of his absolute worst traits retconned a once he starts getting developed and also he gets a redemption arc. And then we are shown it so much more once we get into the final arc and at that point it feels hollow. This overall makes me not really like Shigaraki, he feels directionless and like he just kinda does things for the sake of it. Also he just feels overpowered at this point in the manga to a negative degree. And the whole "All for One takes over Shigaraki's mind" thing is terrible, confusing, and I hate it. All for One is a weaker antagonist, he has more agency but his motive is far more boring.

On the topic of Shigaraki getting his mind taken over let's talk about Star and Stripe real quick. She feels like such a utilitarian character to me. She exists to weaken Shigaraki and explain why the other countries of the world aren't helping Japan. I like her design, her power, her personality, but regardless she feels like she exists for a very utilitarian purpose.

Next up let's talk about Ida and Uraraka. They feel way underutilized as characters. Both get a decent amount of focus early on, and then drop off in terms of importance after the Hero Killer Stain arc. Ida only really gets focus in all of the various exam/training/mock battle arcs which IMO are too plentiful in the story and make the pace drag more than it should and take focus away from other parts of the story. Uraraka is similar, but she also got to fight Toga in the current arc. Both just get set up as really important characters before all of their focus and importance going to other characters, like Todoroki, Bakugo, Endeavor, and Hawks. Obviously both still get focus and are highlighted in arcs, but most of he big moments and narrative tension go to other characters. Honestly I like both of them, but it is a little annoying that they feel like they have been pushed to the background. Uraraka gets it worse because she just gets demoted to Deku's love interest for most of the story before her weirdly, I guess romantic is the word I'd use, fight with Toga. They get underdeveloped and underdelivered.

Toga is a character that is also underdeveloped and then she has all of her backstory dropped on you in a strange sympathy play. I don't hate the idea of her backstory as a way, but again it's just kind of dropped on you at a bad time. Plus her morality of being a literal murderer makes it kind of less sympathetic. The intensity of it all compared to the relative mundane nature of it makes it just not hit properly. It feels like her backstory of people not liking her because of her quirk and such is fine, but it is dropped at a bad point in the story and isn't properly presented.

This is similar to Spinner's backstory just getting dropped on us along with the discrimination of people with non-human appearances being poorly shown. We are told this is a problem, we are not shown it. The one exception being the one time the character 'Ordinary Woman' is discriminated against. She doesn't even have a full name.

Todoroki is overall one of the better executed characters in the story, but I am not the biggest fan of how the story centralizes on his family drama to the disservice of other aspects of the story.

Yuga is in theory a character I really like. But the execution on him is kind of bad. He is mostly a joke character with some moments of depth and bravery. But he is suddenly revealed to be a traitor with like one scene of build up like 100 chapters earlier. The traitor subplot being ignored and barely acknowledged for hundreds of chapters and then it is suddenly brought back up and ends almost as quickly. He needed more development before the reveal and more focus on the traitor subplot.

And then we have Bakugo. I don't really like him either. Not because he bullied Midroiya, but he just doesn't do anything all that interesting in the narrative. He does have some good hidden depths, him being uncorruptible and inspired by All-Might like Deku, he's far smarter than he seems, and he seems to respect Uraraka due to her performance in the tournament arc (at least as much as he can). And I will admit I am probably forgetting a lot of things about him to. But, I do think that overall he just doesn't do enough in the narrative to make me really like him as a character. He's like Shigaraki, there is a lot to him that is good, but the sum of those aspects doesn't feel greater than the whole.

There are obviously other things, the female cast is not the best written, Mineta, the fan service-y design of some of the characters, The terrible, terrible pacing of the last 100 chapters of the manga. At the least the pacing in the Final War arc. There are so many little problems that don't feel like they are that bad on their own and show up early on, but then they get worse and more problems show up later and suddenly all of these problems mix together and it just is frustrating.

[touchtranscendslanguage]

What are all the prince's "jobs" like what do they do specially? I know that roman is like the general/fighting guy but what about the others? (I'm mostly interested in Remus) Also I like the name Bertha for Remus's weapon.

Finally got around to this, I appreciate your patience.

So, in addition to their princely duties a good deal of the princes' workload is doing the jobs of dukes/duchesses, marquises, earls/countesses, viscounts/viscountesses, and barons/baronesses because the seelie are lacking royals to fill said titles. Instead of each of them getting land and individually managing the different sections of the kingdom the whole thing is a group effort which mostly falls on the backs of Logan and Patton whose specialties don't take them out of the faerie hill much.

You're right that Roman is basically the fae equivalent of a general, although instead of an army he has his Hunt. Hunts are much smaller with far more skilled fighters. As such, Roman is fairly close with his knights which is part of why he hates Virgil so much. Virgil has definitely killed some of them.

Roman focuses his efforts on fighting outside forces and rebellions that look particularly bad. He's the hero and one of the faces of the royal family, so they can't have him fighting someone the people might feel particularly sympathetic towards. This may have contributed to his ego.

Remus is also a general-like guy who focuses on fighting outside forces. The difference is that Remus also fights the battles that don't look so glorious. He basically directs his chaos whenever Janus points him.

Remus is just as skilled a fighter as Roman but with a wildly different style. He's also wildly feared by his own people. If Roman shows up in your grove or village unannounced you know something is wrong, but everything will be okay. If Remus shows up unannounced you know something is very wrong and you fear for the lives of everyone there. Not that fae think Remus is going to go around killing them for no reason, but may King Rainbow help anyone who accidentally gets in his way.

The big difference between Roman and Remus is that Remus isn't usually worried about casualties or fighting honorably. Remus gets the job done - maybe a little too enthusiastically at times, but he has the willpower and mentality to do things that are absolutely necessary but aren't easy to stomach. Remus gets his hands dirty so Roman doesn't have to stain his conscience.

Janus basically handles anything that would make the royal family look bad (or takes credit for things that have already been done), effectively setting himself up as a scapegoat. If everything 'bad' can be linked back to Janus and Remus then the two of them are the 'bad' ones, not the royal family as a whole. The entire system was Janus's idea and it works well. Sometimes too well. Roman and Patton have a tendency to forget who's responsible for their squeaky-clean reputations and get holier-than-thou attitudes. And if sometimes they say things they shouldn't and Janus cries at night that's nobody's business.

In addition, Janus is responsible for the first and only therapy program in faerieland which has to do with his backstory with Emile. That's the positive blot on his dark reputation and he's actually very proud of it.

Logan keeps track of and issues approvals and disapprovals of a lot of medical, magical, and what we would call scientific research.

Patton keeps track of the charities the royal family supports as well as their donations and contributions to various causes.

[starrycloak]

tw discussions of su1cide and death ideation

Sometimes I think about this post and others that shed light on Vecna's (albeit twisted) compassion for struggling living beings, particularly the four victims of '86. Obviously he had something to gain from those murders (compared to the 79 massacre, on top!), but 1) it has never been explained why and how exactly those killings created so much energy to open gates and 2) in a not too similar parallel to those animals caught in traps and eventually killed around the Creel house (put a pin on whether you think Henry, One and Vecna -hell, or even show Henry and TFS Henry- are one and the same or if you subscribe to the Edward/Henry theory), perhaps the whole 'prey on the weak' wasn't necessarily 100% malicious, but rather (in Vecna's mind) a "merciful" act.

Aligning to the "vecna's curse was a sui allegory", he might have thought that each of the '86 victims were hopeless in regards to their living situations AND their inner strength/coping mechanisms to deal with them and their own futures. In fact, that might have probably been the only reason why he could create a psyonic connection with them in the first place. For example, even if Chrissy's or Patrick's parents, "the ones" (obvs not the only) that were causing them pain, were removed from the equation, their impact and presence would still remain in everyday life and haunt their children forever. They didn't really have anybody (seems like therapy wasn't working either, or they might not have commited to that process by openning up) to rely on, and they weren't in a place to willingly look for companionship at all.

The sad reality is that sometimes, even in a supernatural universe, it's impossible to make trauma and triggers dissapear for good and begin anew with a clean slate. For instance, it wouldn't be enough to undo Billy's death for Max to heal, but also undo his previous abuse of her, her mother not protecting her, her dad emotionally abandonning her, Billy's own abuse by Neil, and so on, or stopping Fred from running off after the accident, the accident in the first place, him having done anything prior to prevent him losing control of the vehicle in the first place, etc. It's a cycle that would go on with them lacking a support system and/or not having developed the skills to cope and seek for community and love on their own terms. I guess that, for Vecna, that was just the system (everybody around you) being rigged as usual and handicapping them -those four were not only dealt a bad hand, but they didn't (and would never have) have what it takes to play and come out on top. They couldn't even handle the visions he sent them, so how could they face reality?

Turns out a very powerful supernatural being is as capable of rewriting the past (or at least he can't yet), along with all its individual strings and webs, as us normal humans are irl. It's natural to wish that getting rid of those things, those people who seem like the biggest obstacles between someone and a fullfilling life would fix everything, but there are too many variables at play; it takes changing too many minds for real and for good. Perhaps Vecna, underestimating/ignoring the power of a support system and willpower (hence why only Max escaped the first time and continues to cling to life -because, unlike the others, she had a chance and the support to realize that she did want to live and that there was a way out of the darkness), thought that the four couldn't make it on their own into the future anyway. They were weak, isolated by their own doing, too broken, and in so much pain to go on -it was pointless and more cruel for them to continue to exist. Like he did to the trapped and wounded animals in the Creel house, he "facilitated" the ending of their suffering, also probably thinking that, by dying at his hands to make him more powerful, their lives wouldn't have been (in his eyes) worthless.

or maybe he was angry that far too many people are lazy cowards for not putting time and care into committing to make systemic changes nor break the cycle of abuse so he doesn't have any faith in anybody and they were easy targets idk

sorry this derailed so far away from will's vanishing. all i can say is that i, too, don't believe in that the "main villian" of ST is 100% evil. that'd reductive and scapegoat-ish to the ideas that began it all: forced comformity, perpetuating cycles of abuse and systems that fail everybody.

Deducing what may have actually happened to Will Byers on Nov 6, 1983 using evidence from the show.

Trigger warning: M*rder, s*icide.

part 2. part 3.

Before I begin, I just want to remind everyone that this show has many layers to it. What I mean is, if you watch carefully, a piece of dialogue can actually mean two (or more) things. The dialogue can be meaningful for the specific scene (surface level) and it can be a sneaky way to foreshadow something else entirely (subtext).

From this specific moment, we can assume that moving forward: any and all mentions of JFK’s assassination will actually be about Will’s disappearance (subtext).

So when the writers gifted us with these mentions, they are actually referring to the conspiracy surrounding Will’s disappearance. So let’s investigate, shall we?

Here’s the briefest overview of the JFK assassination: Oswald was convicted of assassinating JFK. Oswald denied his involvement stating that he was “a patsy”. Many conspiracy theories believe that Johnson was actually the one responsible.

Both Mrs. Driscoll and Dustin do not believe that Oswald assassinated JFK. Mrs. Driscoll is an outcast; she’s an older woman with schizophrenia. The guys who work at the newspaper are quick to dismiss her for these reasons. Now remember, this is Stranger Things, the show about outcasts being right and those fitting the norm being wrong. Then there’s our beloved Dustin, who states that “Oswald was a patsy”. Thus we can conclude: Johnson assassinated JFK, and Oswald was a patsy.

So… who if Will is JFK in this equation, who are our “Johnson” and “Oswald” counterparts?

Well right now, I assume most people believe Vecna is responsible for Will’s disappearance. He is our “bad guy”. So my guess is that he is our “Oswald”.

Who is our “Johnson”? Now remember, Johnson was someone close to JFK, he was the vice-president. He had something to gain in this. I believe Lonnie fits the bill the most for our Johnson.

So many clues surround Lonnie that tell us he was actually responsible. Plus, remember, he has something to gain from Will’s death: life insurance.

Though to be far, I am definitely not ruling out Brenner and Hawkins lab being involved in this too.

So… what happened exactly then? I’m not certain but this is my theory:

Lonnie was prepared to kill Will that night, but his plans were thwarted by our “Oswald”. Vecna swooped in and saved Will from his fate. His “come with me if you want to live” moment.

Moving further into the theory territory… here is a prediction:

- Our characters believe that the only way to defeat Vecna is to travel back in time and “stop him”.

- They travel back, stop him, then return finding out that the alternate present is much worse. By this I mean: Will was murdered, Mike ended his life by suicide, Joyce got admitted to Pennhurst Asylum, Jonathan was struggling with addiction, Lonnie got his payout, etc.

- Thus realizing that “killing” Vecna is and never was the solution here.

Now you may be thinking: but Vecna is 100% evil, why are you trying to redeem him? Well, the thing is, he’s not. Vecna is a villain but he’s not 100% evil. The show isn’t that simple friends. Plus, remember, nothing is exactly as it seems in this show.

[sakushamishou]

How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying by Django Wexler is both an isekai in that it has aspects of both portal and reincarnation mechanics. That said, this is not a typical isekai that is light and rather silly, it's seriously dark (a la No Longer Allowed in Another World, but with more casual murder and attrocities).

Davi is plucked from Earth into a fantasy world where she basically respawns on the day she manifested in the world whenever she dies. And she's died. A. Lot. The dark humor is strong with this one and there are moments when Davi says something and you have to take a moment and stare off into the distance for a few moments because it's seriously fucked. And yet in this "playthrough" she still manages to find some hope and will to live. This is the one where she's gone off on a hair brained scheme to become the dark lord, after all.

It both fulfills the expectations of the genre, in that Davi has a tendency to treat things as a game where you can always go back to the beginning if you die or if things don't go the way you want them to. And it also subverts the expectations of the genre by forcing her to treat the wilders (monsters) as human and not disposable game pieces. And I think a good isekai should make you question the nature of reality a little bit. Which world is real? How do you know? If the MC is the creator of the world in their own world, are they a god or merely trapped? How does the narrative of the world handle someone trying to change events? It would be far less interesting if Davi wasn't forced to face the consequences of her actions in the world, particularly as they relate to the people around her, as she's come to see them as sort of expendable as she can always reset the clock back as needed.

As probably indicated by the indication that this is a seriously dark book above, it comes with a slew of trigger warnings including suicide, suicidal ideation, death of the main character, death of romantic interests, torture/bodily harm, warfare, and adult content. Adult activities occur primarily off screen. Davi is a bisexual queen who does have both male and female partners throughout the book. As someone who identifies as Bi, she's a pretty decent representation, except for the whole can't always treat people as real because she keeps respawning thing.

Definitely worth a read even if you haven't been able to get through some of wexler's other stuff (I haven't, but I might try them as audiobooks. Sometimes one format is more appealing than others).

[treatian]

The Chronicles of the Dark One: Domestic Battles

Chapter 54: Taking Care of Business

He walked Belle and Henry back to his shop when the others left. Mary Margaret stayed within his sights as she followed through on David's promise and went back to Granny's Inn for her son. Was he worried that she was going to take off the second his eyes were off her? A little. But he was banking on the fact that she and David valued truth and honesty in their relationship enough to get her back to the inn as she'd said she would. And if she didn't? Well, that wasn't really his problem, was it? If she made the choice to go off and poke the bear with the other three imbeciles, then that was her choice. At least it was so long as Emma stayed far away from him and his loved ones when they poked that bear.

Belle and Henry, on the other hand, were his problem. And at the moment, he wasn't too concerned for Belle. As much as he didn't particularly care for David giving his wife orders as though she was a soldier in his army, he'd done him a favor with that. Belle knew she worked best in a library, but only so long as she had something to work on. David had given her that. Henry, however, he didn't trust for a second. And while it would have been easy to keep him prisoner in his shop for a time, there were other things he wanted and needed to do after all of this. He needed time to think, space to consider what the Ice Queen was planning with Emma so he could be prepared and keep Belle and Henry safe. And Henry's presence certainly would not be ideal for that particular task.

"It's getting late," he announced when he got the pair of them home. "You should go home. Straight home!" he clarified before pulling the pocket square from Henry's own breast pocket. He enchanted it easily with a spell of his own design, one that would let him know if the boy strayed from his most direct path home. From there, he'd trust that having Henry there would keep Mary Margaret from making any stupid decisions, and he'd be able to do the same for her. "Should you even think about going anywhere today besides right home to your grandparents…I shall know about it," he informed him as he tucked the square into his pocket.

The look on Henry's face made it clear that he was displeased with this particular plan, but it also told him that Henry at least believed in the magic he'd cast. Once the boy was out the door and on his way, he turned to look at Belle.

"I have some work that can't wait. Would you like to be here? Or the library?" he inquired.

To no shock, she wanted to be back at the library. Also, to his surprise, she requested that he look it over, top to bottom, before leaving her there. She didn't realize that it already had half a dozen protection spells on it, and he could already sense that Emma and Ingrid were not there. But he'd never turn down a request to make sure that she was safe. Never. Especially when they moved through the place and Belle finally gave him the information he'd been missing from before and answered one particular question he'd had in mind.

The false mirror…it was in the clocktower.

After Belle took the elemental candle to Emma for practice, she'd gone back to the library. That was when she realized that Ingrid was there, came over to the shop, and called for help. That part of the story, at least, offered him some sense of ease. Not long ago, Belle might have tried to handle her on her own. The fact that she'd willingly sought out assistance when she was over her head calmed him. After the others arrived and Emma took custody of Ingrid, David and Hook reported that she'd placed a mirror in the clock tower. She'd panicked, assuming it was the mirror they'd encountered in her lair the day before. She'd done some research on removing it before she herself had gone to look at it and realized that it was a trick, that the mirror wasn't the one they'd seen before. It wasn't cursed; it was simply a mirror. That was when the others knew it was a trap, and they'd gone to the police station to warn Emma, only to find the doors iced over. They'd come right to him after that, and from there, he knew the rest of the story.

And he had his answers. Belle had unwittingly given them to him as he examined the mirror in the clock tower. Though he could tell immediately that the Spell of Shattered Sight wasn't on that mirror, he wanted to be sure there was absolutely nothing magical about it before removing it. And as he'd examined it, Belle had continued on, speaking her thoughts aloud in a helpful way he hadn't expected.

"I wonder if upsetting Emma was the goal, or if there was something else she was trying to accomplish."

"What makes you say that?" he questioned as he felt around the edges of the glass.

"Well, we figured out far too late that getting Emma alone was her plan. Emma was uncertain, mostly about the candle, before she went into the station with Ingrid, but it wasn't anywhere near as frazzled as she was by the time we figured it out and finally got to her. Something set her magic off, and logic would suggest that it was the Snow Queen. Was that the plan all along? To make Emma a danger to the town? Give herself an ally? If it was, it obviously didn't work. David and the others aren't exactly following that plan. I'm sure they'll make sure Emma is found. They won't let her become their villain."

Her ramblings had nearly stopped him in his tracks, but somehow he managed to use his magic to disintegrate the mirror before him and kiss Belle on the forehead, telling her she was safe and he'd lock her in before he left her where she stood. He was utterly in awe of his wife's mind. He'd put it together. At least, he thought he had it.

Ingrid's goal wasn't to turn Emma against the town. It was to turn the town against Emma. Or at least make her feel that way.

"Monster"…that was what Emma had called herself when she'd been in the heat of her uncontrolled magic. His memory wasn't pure, but he felt like Ingrid had called herself something along those lines the first time he'd met her, when she and her sisters came to him for help, when he'd first taken those ribbons.

A bond, whether it be of villainy, love, or sisterhood, could be forged in many ways. Sometimes it wasn't always a bond of willingness, it was a matter of convenience. Willingness might have been what Ingrid had preferred when she started this journey; she'd tried to convince the girls that they were like her and forge it through their similarities, but now that it had failed, her plan was to forge it through experiences. In making Emma see herself as "other," as a monster, she was hoping that she'd run right into her arms.

He picked up a snow globe that Henry had apparently polished to perfection, gave it a shake, and watched as the little styrofoam pieces inside swirled.

It all fit and yet...it didn't. Ingrid's plan was flawed. He felt like he was still missing a piece of the puzzle. In making Emma see herself as "other," Ingrid was hoping that she'd run right into her arms. In Ingrid's mind the bond would be formed and then...she would release the Spell of Shattered Sight and kill everyone? What was the point of it? What was the purpose? To be a Queen with her two sisters over nothing? And did she really think that Emma would so easily resort to wanting the town dead just because they deemed her a monster?

We're wasting too much time on a mind that is neither sane nor brilliant, Nimue sneered in his head.

Three very valid points. He was used to divining plans for himself that were well thought out, that started with a goal in mind, and then built around that goal. It had always worked for him. But while he sensed that Ingrid had started with a goal in mind, it was as though she felt she had one solid idea in the making of her plan, The Spell of Shattered Sight, and now she was determined to use it whether it was good for her plan or not. She almost seemed more devoted to using that Curse than to the idea of Emma and Elsa.

So, the true question that we should be asking is…

How could he use her flawed plan to his advantage?

In the next room, the Sorcerer's Hat, the tool for his own brilliant plan, still sat, his goal still clear as ever: freedom from the dagger. And his goal was achievable just as soon as he finished getting that hat charged up and figured out how to make the damn magic work.

One problem at a time, Rumpelstiltskin. In reference to getting the thing in working order, perhaps a little chaos that is neither sane nor brilliant might be exactly what we need.

A smile was just starting to twitch at the corner of his mouth when he felt a presence on his property. The same presence he'd mistaken for Elsa's in Belle's library.

Ingrid was here.

Perfect.

"As someone who's created many monsters in his time…I am impressed by the number you did on Ms. Swan," he muttered, not bothering to look up at her.

He heard the sound of heels on the wooden floor behind him. "I'm ready to make that deal."

He smirked, entertained by the fact that she at least chose to wear footwear inside the shop. Obviously, she was a member of the Storybrooke Chamber of Commerce well acquainted with "no shoes, no shirt, no service," but that was irrelevant given the words she'd just said.

"So…" Carefully, he set the snow globe down on the counter and turned to face her. "You finally understand what you didn't so many years ago."

"I want my ribbons back."

Lovely. Just as he'd suspected. But there was also one other little thing she'd obviously failed to consider. It was that matter of leverage again. And given the threat that she posed to his family, the threat that she'd been to his family the day after he'd fucking warned her to stay away, he wasn't sure that he was feeling in the deal-making mood.

"Then you'll also understand that a…a deal requires an exchange of goods. And I'm no longer convinced you have anything I want."

"You still need one more thing to cleave yourself from that dagger."

Her words dropped into the pit of his stomach like lead balls.

Now it was his turn to be shocked.

"And how do you know about that?"

"I had that hat longer than you. I learned many things. Among them…the missing piece of your puzzle. Give me my ribbon, I'll tell you what it is. You see, I've figured out your plan. Storybrooke…is a small town. Too small for someone as powerful as the Dark One to be content."

He nearly laughed. World domination. That wasn't his plan. Not in the least, he'd intended to stop far short of that…before she'd come along, at least. "Well, they did close down that ice cream parlor I was so fond of," he declared, moving away from and back behind the glass case where he'd stored that box earlier.

"You want to cleave yourself from the dagger so you can venture outside of Storybrooke without losing your power or your precious Belle. You want, in short, what all villains want," Ingrid monologued as he set the box on the table before them.

"And what's that?" he questioned, tantalizingly opening the box's lock and opening it for her.

"Everything!" Her breath caught for a moment as she stared down at those ribbons, practically salivating over them. "And I want to give it to you," she muttered, looking back up at him.

"What makes you so generous?"

Ingrid reached her hand out as if to make a quick grab for them. He didn't close the box, but he did move his hand in front of it to the point that if she tried something, a quick flick of the wrist would make her think twice about that decision. But instead, her fingers came to rest over the glass of the snow globe he'd been examining earlier.

"What you want is out there. And everything that I want is in here."

He glanced down at the flare of magic he felt and noticed she'd turned the bauble to ice. Poetic. And telling. So, she did want Storybrooke, to rule over it as Queen. But after the Spell of Shattered Sight took effect what would there be to rule?

Don't get caught up in the flaws of her plan! Nimue snapped. Focus on the glories of ours.

"Do what you want with the rest of the world. Storybrooke will be mine," Ingrid declared.

He plucked one of the ribbons in his possession free and looked it over, carefully considering what this was going to mean. He didn't know how she'd figured out what she knew; the dagger, the cleaving of it, the hat, all of it, but if she truly could turn over what she was offering, the missing element to the magical proofs that had so long eluded Zoso, then it was a deal. But this deal not only held everything he wanted, it also contained one element of surprise which required him to weigh it carefully. This deal didn't just get him what he wanted it; it contained the promise of exile. He hadn't planned on that. Getting what he wanted would mean leaving town. And unless he wanted to go alone, taking those he cared about with him was going to be complex.

How lucky for us that her plan includes complications, then!"

"Do you want your answer?" Ingrid questioned with all the temptation of a professional salesman.

Did he?

He could stop this all. He could stop it all right now. Refuse her the ribbons, turn her in, confess to Belle…hell, he'd been thinking ever since the beginning that one day this would all come to light, and she'd probably forgive him for it. This could be it, that moment she'd be willing to overlook it all because he'd done the right thing.

But then, where would that leave him? A man in love with a woman but still a danger to her because he was bound first and foremost, always, against his will, to a piece of metal.

He didn't want to take over the world, not today, at least. Nimue, however, would be all too willing to engage in that plot, which was, he assumed, the reason she was shouting in his head with the passion of a toddler. But whether or not Ingrid's hypothesis was correct, he wouldn't deny that he needed what she was offering. And Nimue was right, the complexities of Ingrid's poorly thought through plan, they would provide a bit of cover that he needed.

When two people both have something the other wants…

"You know I do."

"Then we have a deal…" she breathed, reaching for the ribbons. He pulled the one in his hand back and away from her.

"You first," he dared. Because she might act like an expert, but he was the pawnbroker here. She knew what she was getting, now it was time for her to prove to him that what he was getting in return was of equal value. "Tell me what I require."

She leaned forward, and he realized she meant to whisper it. Smart girl. "When the stars align in the sky, you must sacrifice the heart of someone who knew the you you were before you were this. Use your magic to destroy the bond that ties you to your formerself and embrace your new self."

He found himself smiling as his mind worked through the spell she was suggesting.

The heart of someone who knew the him he was before he was this. Someone who knew him before he was cursed, she meant.

Yes. Everything fell into place. Typically, objects, usually something that was owned or touched by someone prior to their curse were burned as a way to fill up on power and remove a curse. But this…he should have known…

The dagger, the blade, his leash, it hadn't been designed for him or really any of the other Dark Ones, save for one. Nimue. Merlin had designed this hat and, in his intelligence, likely knew exactly what it could do so he would have made the requirements for Nimue to break the power he had on her powerful. The heart of someone she'd known before she was cursed. He'd seen her past; Merlin knew about it. For as long as those two battled at the end of the day the only one capable of setting Nimue free would have been him, and he'd practically allowed her to seal him up inside that tree.

I'm sure he saw it as poetic justice.

For Nimue, sure…but for him…this was a truly beautiful, poetic development. He suffered the same problem Nimue might have had when the hat was made, that the people she'd known and loved were dead save for one. But for him, the one person still up and walking around all these years later…

His smile grew.

Perfect.

"Not only can I do that…But I shall do it with great pleasure."

Hell, for that information, he might have thrown in a fourth ribbon.

[itlivesproject]

what small and "insignificant" (lets say, to the audience) did the li writers keep in mind when writing their characterizations, if anything? it can be stuff like when linc was a baby and mattyass was cradling him in his arms, he got dropped on his head, explaining why linky is the way he is now (i say this with love) or as simple as jocelyn hates broccoli ! id love to hear the writers speak more abt the li's!

Lincoln being dropped on his head as a baby would explain several things about both him and his father 😂

Abel

The one thing I always keep in mind when I’m writing is less a fun fact and more a personality thing - I always make sure to add humor/jokes when Abel’s talking, no matter the context of the scene. If he’s not being witty/quippy, then he’s not Abel. That said, the scenes where he isn’t especially quippy are likely to be the most poignant and significant.

However something fun facty that has helped me characterize him in the past is that whenever one of Abel’s siblings had a bake sale as kids he made an entire batch of cupcakes instead of going to the store to buy a box of them.

Amalia

Laugh at me (eri) because I write Amalia based on vibe alone. Her personality is a combination of myself and a person very dear to me, who is however vastly different from me. To put it into perspective, am an ISFP and they an ENTJ. Amalia's somewhere in the balance, which I find by writing what feels right for her. I know. *face palm*

Not exactly a fun fact as much as a rule: Amalia loves jokes, even bad ones (despite the fact that she might act annoyed if she's not the one making them). However, Serious Liaᵀᴹ and Mother Hen Liaᵀᴹ modes turn off the humor feature upon activation. Good luck trying to deflect with her around 😆

Lincoln

The thing you have to remember with Lincoln is that the way he tends to act (aloof and uninterested) is like, 5% of who he is. He has a hard exterior, but if you get one inch down it turns out the rest of him is soft as cotton candy. He isn't that open about what he feels, but he understands himself very well and knows how he feels about everything, and that impacts everything he says and does. I didn't really understand this about him at first but now that I do it completely changes the way I write him.

For a fun fact, he keeps a picture of him and his mom in his wallet and it's extremely important to him to always have that with him.

Jocelyn

I took Jocelyn being Chinese as an excuse to Project Very Hard. Unlike me, Jocelyn isn't particularly invested in her heritage, and she absolutely grates under the model minority myth. She doesn't always get figurative speech, but there are some Chinese idioms that are basically ingrained in her from birth. Also, she can't handle her spice but she'd die before admitting it. (For the Sichuanese, spice tolerance is death before dishonour.)

As for Alex: When writing for Jocelyn, something I think about a lot is that she thinks differently than others. She’s always using direct language because she doesn’t understand sarcasm, and any sort of metaphors are lost on her. So speaking with her can be a challenge because she doesn’t always catch on to what you’re implying. Even so, she can still make jokes (the eyes one is my personal favorite) and while she’s more withdrawn in group conversations, you can always ask her opinion and she’ll tell you.

Fun fact: In middle school, the gang threw a party and played spin the bottle (which certainly had nothing to do with the new girl Britney had been eyeing). To everyone's dismay, including the people involved, Cody spun Jocelyn. They basically sat in the closet for several minutes, tried to kiss, bonked their heads in the dark, and mutually decided the other was a terrible kisser. All things considered, it was quite possibly the worst first kiss Jocelyn could have asked for.

[butterfly-ribbon]

i also love that even though ena spends so much time obsessing over the what ifs and how she could've handled the situation differently, it isn't because she wants to hurt mizuki by doing the one thing she would hate ... it's because she loves her and can't stand the idea of hurting her. ena is going through the panopticon. she's different than mizuki, but she also obsesses in that same way. all the people she feels like she's always failing (sometimes the same, sometimes different). it’s funny that akito and mizuki are decent friends – and how mizuki doesn't want to disappoint people – because ena also thinks about akito and her failures as a sister. ena ran away through night school, hiding herself in darkness, while mizuki works her part time job and pretends to be a silly, happy girl to a public that can turn against her at any time. mizuki, despite her own coffin, is also the one who encouraged ena to go back to the art classes, to leave the den and coffin, and now it's ena's turn to return the favor... there are layers to how everything interconnects.

for all of this though we can see how, truly, the heart of this event lies in ena, a cis girl, grappling with her own biases and guilt. she must come to terms with the fact that, despite her inability to fully alleviate mizuki's pain, she has the responsibility of making effort to connect, rather than allowing mizuki to spiral into self-destruction. mizuki deserves someone to put the same degree of work and care toward her that she puts toward everyone else, particularly due to how she feels she has no choice as a trans girl that needs to please everyone. even if, as a cis girl, she makes mistakes and struggles to grasp the full complexity of mizuki's experience as a trans girl, even if she hurts her in doing so, ena is willing to endure anything if it means being together because there's no worse outcome than losing mizuki.

mizuki's rejection of ena's "kindness" is predicated around her fear of being treated with "unique" consideration, which would mean there's an asterisk attached to her girlhood, making her feel more othered when she doesn't wish to have her transfemininity highlighted in every conversation, and this is what informs both the end of mizu5 and ena5. however, i think it goes deeper than that if you also consider how, even when she was on the brink of completely breaking down in the aftermath of being outed, she still made the active choice to drag herself to school for supplementary classes. she didn't want to cause more trouble for her family by repeating the year. she didn't want to run into people like an, akito, or touya, who might express concern for her due to her absence.

mizuki's rejection of ena's "kindness" is predicated around her fear of being treated with "unique" consideration, which would mean there's an asterisk attached to her girlhood, making her feel more othered when she doesn't wish to have her transfemininity highlighted in every conversation, and this is what informs both the end of mizu5 and ena5. however, i think it goes deeper than that if you also consider how, even when she was on the brink of completely breaking down in the aftermath of being outed, she still made the active choice to drag herself to school for supplementary classes. she didn't want to cause more trouble for her family by repeating the year. she didn't want to run into people like an, akito, or touya, who might express concern for her due to her absence. mizuki is scared of the idea of “wasting other’s kindness (another reason why she doesn’t want the burden of ena’s upon her after having to carry all these others),” "taking up space," and "causing anyone else problems" ... so much that she doesn't think she has any right to personally ask ena to remain her friend. she’s been made to feel that being friends with someone like her is more trouble than it's worth – made to feel that it's better for ena to cut her off than deal with any of it. mizuki is terrified of disappointing the people who accept her. she lives with the thought of how that could make them decide she isn't allowed or that her being a girl is just "too difficult" or "she cant even manage this." she's always been derided for being "too difficult to deal with" after all … even when people say they care for her, that she isn't trouble, she's placed in an endless position of fear for the moment it all changes. she lives on a precipice in her own mind.

this continues to capture the more subtle contours of transmisogyny and i love it for that. trans girls, from a young age, internalize the message that they shouldn’t take up space, that they should prioritize making room for others. they are frequently criticized, derided for being women, even degendered for any features perceived as 'unfeminine'. the deep anxiety and fear about simply wanting something for themselves is always present. many trans girls have to be hyper-aware of the space they occupy for that reason, often avoiding both male and female spaces out of fear for how they will be treated. they shy away from confronting those who speak over them, even when they have every right to do so, as they’ve rarely been allowed to narrate their own experiences. trans girls are often relegated to others speaking for them (this can be connected to how mizuki obscures her transness in her own tellings of her past and how this culminates in those boys hijacking her coming out).

despite all this, trans girls are still accused of taking up too much space. we've seen all of this represented in mizuki and we finally get to see her explicitly negotiate her desire and want for ena as a girl.  yet she can't allow herself that out of fear that ena might catch strays because of her. people could think ena is a "freak" too for hanging out with her or even worse. mizuki has firsthand experience with this in mizu5. the what ifs haunt her too – ena might get sick of mizuki, or she'll always have to walk on eggshells around her, lest she risk ena withholding her kindness and looking at her with scorn, right?

ena is right to call out mizuki on this because mizuki keeps deciding for her. it's mizuki and her need for control over this narrative even though in reality this is life and not a narrative. in the past, mizuki rewrote her life in such a way so as to obscure her transness and project cisness around niigo because she was terrified of their dynamic changing if they found out. now she's trying to write a story where, no matter what, their relationship is doomed – a story where she will keep getting hurt over every instance of ena accidentally saying something hurtful, a story where she'll give in to her thoughts that tell her she can't express this without being a pain and making everyone get sick of her, a story where the best thing she could do is end her relationship with ena before she's forced to do that on an even worse note.

ena has seen it all, she's seen how mizuki has a less traditional struggle with identity in so many senses, including how she projects that into the world around her – utter disallowance of weakness, freedom being intertwined with control, the necessity of burying herself and denying authenticity at some level or another because even though she refuses to give up being a girl, it's still one aspect of the coffin she resides within because she believes that she doesn't deserve to be seen the same as any other girl, that she doesn't deserve the sisterhood of womanhood like any cis girl, that she's infringing upon other girls, and she's also seen her guilt because she believes she's been stringing ena along and making her believe she's cis all this time while "demanding" too much laid bare, and she still wants her for her messy and rough edges. she wants her to leave the coffin and be with her as her true self.

it's very reminiscent of rgu and utenanthy, and how the only thing that was "behind the door of eternity" was anthy's heart. locked in an eternity of trauma and abuse, but utena herself proved that eternity was another falsehood and rejected it even though obviously in rejecting it, she brought down rejection upon herself, but because anthy recognized her in return, even though everyone else has forgotten utena, they could still create something beyond an instant eternity of trauma. in the same way, ena recognized mizuki for who she is, but mizuki has to extend her hand and reach out to her in return to move forward.

with that being said, some criticism:

my main issue with ena5 is the fact that it ends with mizuki telling niigo that she wants to tell them her secret, then everyone is like "welcome back, mizuki" and it ends with the logo signifying the end of an arc. it gives the impression that this might be something we're going to see in the next arc, but instead they put it in the kanade 3* side stories (inexplicable decision to me when this feels so important) and it goes black during the coming out itself. it's important to note that i don't think this makes mizuki any less trans – her transness is literally in the text imo – and the issue to me is moreso the fact that mizuki being outed is explicit. i don't believe mizuki going "i'm a girl/transgender" makes the story any more or less trans and i think fixating on it in this way is misguided. it's more a matter of principle on colopale's part. mizuki was going to come out in mizu5, but she had her agency taken away, had her identity presented in a negative light by literal bullies. but then she doesn't get to assert her identity in a positive light here despite the conceit of her confrontation with ena being all about how much mizuki deserves agency in carving her path forward with ena? i find it rather iffy, because if you're going to feature transmisogynistic abuse/bullying in your story, then you are obligated to do this much. 

with that being said though ... like i said earlier – during ena's conversation with rui when she learns about how isolated mizuki used to be in middle school, she thinks back to the specific moment where student A says "are you a guy too?" and identifies this as cruelty. thus, the story does see not mizuki as a boy and recognizes this as transmisogynistic abuse (i mean i sure hope people don't need this much pointed out for them after everything lol), so it's either colopale chickening out or they're saving it for mizu6 or something for some reason (not sure how much faith i have in it being the latter right now even though i'd like that to be the case). even if it were, I think criticism is still valid. at this point, they've milked it enough. i know that many people will continue to deny it regardless of how explicit it is made, but they owe it to their transfem audience.

i still think ena5 is an all timer and the best way they could've handled ena's side of things. i'd like to continue trusting the writers; at the same time, i want to see it from both sides. my only issue is just that her being "outed" and not being given the chance to textually say she's trans. at this point, i would call that a narrative failure (even if i don't think this is out of cruelty or even that Severe of a failure). obviously, i don't believe queer stories need to label themselves as such to be valid as queer narratives. however, the moment project sekai decided to write in an explicit moment of mizuki being outed in a transmisogynistic way, it created a unique obligation. mizuki needs to have the right to to reclaim her own narrative by textually naming her own identity on her own terms. the lack of that is what disappoints me. i don't feel there's so much cowardice here as much as there is how people act like it's "better" to not say something outright in many contexts and similar narratives. i could imagine the thing coming up in kanade's card will lead to more happening with a future event out of necessity, but if they keep walking around it while the characters know "the truth," then it'll become even more of an issue.

it's also evident to the voice actresses that this is a story about a trans girl – but even then, it's clear that they have to Talk Around it. when minoringo was saying she felt this was a very important story, i wholly agreed with her - and just as much in how satohina constantly expresses how much she wants to act this story with the most sincerity and affection she can. that "paratext" makes me somewhat insane because i feel like the response people have had should make sega/colopale know just how much people Want this.

again what throws me off is that they had the coming out scene in the kanade side story. does this mean this is truly wrapped up or what? i personally don't feel it is – once mizuki comes back to the real world, so to speak, there will be many opportunities to engage with what the aftermath means for her. be it navigating her newfound relationship with ena/niigo since it’s no longer predicated around the assumption/deliberate facade that she's also a cis girl – her struggles in real life and in the school, as well. things are different now because mizuki has a support system of girls who are her age who truly accept her for who she is, so i'm sure a lot will change.

again what throws me off is that they had the coming out scene in the kanade side story. does this mean this is truly wrapped up or what? i personally don't feel it is – once mizuki comes back to the real world, so to speak, there will be many opportunities to engage with what the aftermath means for her. be it navigating her newfound relationship with ena/niigo since it’s no longer predicated around the assumption/deliberate facade that she's also a cis girl – her struggles in real life and in the school, as well. things are different now because mizuki has a support system of girls who are her age who truly accept her for who she is, so i'm sure a lot will change. at the same time, side stories for other events also would feature tones and scenes that would be later explored in more depth and the world link event feels a lot like that in many ways and then how the sekai itself responded to things happening with mizuki. the sekai is fundamentally shifting and responding to more than just mafuyu at this point. mafuyu didn't even Know about some of this and yet things Happened in sekai. the MV of bake no hana and the imagery of a door – the door in sekai. it's not a secret at this point that this door being opened is tied to mizuki (rin's curiosity about The Door is also pointed considering her connection to ena). so much of it is only set-up and even the cards themselves are playing with that kind of sentiment, but also considering that the first "arc ender" for niigo was the hermit event it does make me feel confident that we're doing a lot more with this.

i think if i put aside my confusion at kanade's side story, the way ena5 talks around it still makes sense on mizuki's side, because she's genuinely being terrified of making ena's life worse by being with her so she still can't bring herself to even say it. i can see mizuki's next arc engaging more with that internalized transmisogyny and so much of the ambiguity surrounding mizuki is self-imposed after all. i also believe there's just as likely going to be further exploration of how niigo as a whole navigates gender and how that played a part in mizuki's "hiding" herself but i don't want to get ahead of myself with the speculation.

other little things: i adore how they positioned the sprites facing each other—it truly captures that this is mizuki and ena Finally confronting one another and differentiates this from every single event prior? literally making it immersive by altering the format... they've been going all out since mizu5 with how they're breaking the format and the animated cgs and everything... it drives home how important this story is and it really feels like it's written by someone who cares about this topic… people have pointed out that the bgm for the scene in ch8 of ena5 also has mizuki's whispers in it… you can literally hear her fears and intrusive thoughts…

other little things: i adore how they positioned the sprites facing each other—it truly captures that this is mizuki and ena Finally confronting one another and differentiates this from every single event prior? literally making it immersive by altering the format... they've been going all out since mizu5 with how they're breaking the format and the animated cgs and everything... it drives home how important this story is and it really feels like it's written by someone who cares about this topic… people have pointed out that the bgm for the scene in ch8 of ena5 also has mizuki's whispers in it… you can literally hear her fears and intrusive thoughts… i also love that sub/paratext of mizuki having the same hairstyle as ena in the trained cards. ena's hair being a callback to the hermit hairstyle due to how her hair has some braiding back, but cut short + mizuki's being cut in this lovely way that's swaying above their shoulders carries a sense of liberation. this is more about ena's perception, so i don't think it makes up for the lack of textual confirmation from mizuki's end, but mizuki and mirror imagery have always been significant. mizuki is always terrified of other's gaze directed at her, so the fact that the girl she loves the most sees her as a reflection of herself – as a girl – is incredibly meaningful. the reflection of their hair, their rings, the hairpins they wear, their collars - two girls meant to see themselves in one another in unique ways. so many little details. it makes me insane because just having mizuki say she's trans would be the killer alongside all of this. it's just in everything of the designs, the color choices, etc. and her pale pink hair... she's akin to the ghost girls of her stories... but she's been found. at long last.

the most immediate aspect of ena5 i keep coming back to is how ena lingers on how those boys asked if "she was a guy too." it comes up repeatedly throughout the event, her guilt about not knowing what to say, not reacting perfectly at the time, what she could have done differently, and most importantly how she can’t stop thinking about it – it’s exactly what mizuki hates, what she fears, because mizuki's wish was always for nothing between them to change—her wish is to not be treated in a different way from any other girl.

i think this makes sense in the context of ena feeling guilty, but it's also ena being cognizant of the fact that she can't help but fixate on the truth behind mizuki’s secret. internalized misogyny has always been a struggle for ena, despite how honest she is in her hatred of men (especially her father) – even though she clearly loves girls, that harm inflicted upon her, that victim-blaming and infantilization lead to an externalized self-loathing which she takes out on others almost in spite of herself.

ena's first focus event was about her feeling like she isn't a good enough artist for niigo and the trauma she has from her father telling her she isn't talented enough – quite literally him telling her she will never be good enough to do the one thing that fuels her existence.  her second one is fairly self-contained, less about niigo and more about her trying to go back to art class after running away, and once again dealing with the long-term effect of how her father dismissed her. her third is about learning to engage with mafuyu as a victim in productive ways and learning to recognize that her pain can coexist with mafuyu’s which is very important in the context of how ena reacted to finding out that mafuyu is suicidal despite being OWN. and then her fourth is her having the opportunity to see her father as a flawed person rather than the insurmountable idea of an Inherently Talented Artist. these four events have built up to that which she now has to recognize in the complex experience mizuki has with womanhood.

her fifth is also a very obvious parallel to the third, because while ena does very genuinely care for mafuyu and mizuki – she ends up projecting so much self-loathing and envy onto mafuyu, leaving mizuki in between to manage and deflect their emotions – even sometimes making subtle passive-aggressive remarks to get back at ena either because she can't risk fighting or expressing too much of herself and her own dissatisfaction because she would at the biggest disadvantage as the more vulnerable between the two. and when ena has to navigate speaking to mafuyu's mother, there is a recognition of how subtly insidious the woman is and how it both contrasts and parallels her experience with her father. it’s further meaningful because ena3 is about ena breaking the shell of her victim blaming mindset. the way ena treats mafuyu changes a lot from hereon, but what’s important is that isn't enough on its own. ena's growth isn't complete unless she learns to properly engage with mizuki, which she can only do by learning to engage her complex reality as a trans girl.

with that in mind, i really love to see ena acknowledging not just the way she fixates on the “what ifs” and “how she could've handled things differently” – it’s further how she fixates on mizuki's transness. what’s also even more important is that she acknowledges that this is what mizuki hates more than anything. she knows it isn't right of her. she doesn't want this because she doesn't want to hurt mizuki in the way she fears the most. this is through no fault of mizuki’s of course. after all, she doesn't deserve to have her transness fixated upon because that turns it into something inherently Other. that’s why i also like that they're willing to acknowledge that being outed and acceptance isn't simple. it can be complex and painful on both sides without it being something that decentralizes the person most affected (the trans girl, mizuki).

as much as mizuki wished she could just say it and keep going as though nothing changed this couldn't have happened either ... we live in a world where misogyny and transmisogyny are baked into everything ... it's vital for ena to engage with her own biases and prejudices when thinking about approaching mizuki because otherwise she can’t move forward with her. she can't just treat this as though it changes nothing about their dynamic because it absolutely does recontextualize so much … ena being a transmisogyny exempt girl holds fundamental privilege/power over mizuki, just like the prejudiced students do, so ena must tread the thorn-laden path, enduring pain, in order to reach mizuki and bathe her in the warmth of her light, because the pain of making mistakes and still pushing forward is worth everything.

this is ena’s turning point. it's ena talking to someone who knew mizuki back in middle school – the time when she was forced back into the closet – learning the extent of the loneliness she's always felt. she thinks back to the specific moment where student A is like "are you a guy too?" and then finally starts to understand the depth of the cruelty that mizuki has been subjected to. even if she can't truly imagine it (and while we're on this topic, i think this is yet another way the writing acknowledges that mizuki is not a boy and that this is abuse). it also isn't fair for ena to continue fixating on mizuki's transness in this way while wallowing in her own misery, since in doing so, she would be centering herself when the one who was the victim in that moment was mizuki herself.

ena might've messed up, but it wasn't out of bigotry or actual like... looking down on mizuki. she acted in a way that she ended up regretting in a very messy situation and i think that's meaningful too, because again she's done that in many situations with mafuyu and genuinely felt bad about it after the fact. ena is messy and her way of loving people ... she can be so ... rough sometimes, y'know? but she always shows a willingness to learn from her mistakes and interrogate her own behavior. even in my footprints, your destination she keeps pressuring mizuki to talk with her about her problems for most of the event and it's not out of any ill intent, but it's not a good approach because this kind of thing can easily veer into coercive territory and that's particularly traumatic in the context of a trans girl being forced to come out? ena obviously didn't mean anything bad by it because she didn't know or understand the gravity of what she was dealing with, and she was genuinely concerned for mizuki's well-being and wanted her to know that she has someone in her corner who's more than happy to hear her out, but she's also brash, demanding and hot headed so it was a good opportunity for her to see things from a different perspective, leading her to adopt a more patient and understanding approach for the first time? this event builds on this in an interesting way specifically because it isn't afraid to explore how a cis girl like ena needs to unpack her own biases before she's able to connect with mizuki again, but what makes this even better is that mizuki doesn't exist to fix her or make her a better person – mizuki makes ena want that herself. ena doesn't become a better person because mizuki acts like a manic pixie dream girl for her (if anything she constantly fails at this in ena's presence because her mask starts cracking around her a lot), but ena strives to better herself because she can see those cracks and she wants to provide mizuki with genuine support. she wants to be someone that mizuki can truly rely on and drop the facade around because she loves her so much.

mizuki is also being allowed a more mafuyu role here and i think that's compelling insofar as a deconstruction of mizuki's facade and how it's rooted in a fraught engagement with transfemininity in the history of anime and manga.

i also really love this because it’s a callback to the locked room from mizu5. once again, the reason ena finds mizuki is because she knows her better than anyone else. this time there are no boys to co-opt mizuki or interfere with both of them. she ended up avoiding going to school directly and this being the reason ena found her … it's like an answer arc to mizu5. the locked room of mizuki’s heart and how ena has the key to that, finally, after making effort to understand her. this could also be seen as a reference to the hermit cards and the lock upon mizuki’s heart.

[utilitycaster]

This is a DnD mechanics question, I’m just long-wondeful. Back in the early days of cr3 there were lots of posts about Ashton and disability, both speculation about possible neurological issues but particularly talk about him being blind in one eye. He is described as having a ”milky” eye so the visual impairment theory/guess has some basis. Nothing has been stated or, as far as I can tell, had an effect in game. I’m wondering how they’d even handle something like that with DnD mechanics? It wouldn’t be practical to roll for perception differently depending on the way you’re looking or which way the monsters are sneaking up on you. Can you think of a way to do this without it getting too cumbersome? (Because representation is important but it shouldn’t make things more difficult. Dagen’s wheelchair was amazing, we didn’t need to see him struggle with curbs.)

Hi anon! This is a great question that ultimately is probably best handled case-by-case, in that people's experiences with disability differ, but my thoughts are below.

I would push back on the idea that you don't want to make things more difficult. Disabilities do often make things more difficult, and people may want to explore that. We've even seen this done on Critical Role, with Caleb's panic attacks effectively incapacitating him (and coming with no benefit, for that matter, as opposed to, for example, Imogen's Open Mind feature). It should be something the player has agreed on, and it shouldn't be so profoundly disadvantageous that the character can't join in and adventure - but don't write off drawbacks.

I think Matt has, possibly as part of the discussions about Dagen, mentioned that one thing you could do for a character who is deaf or hard of hearing is to impose a penalty for perception checks related to hearing (not permit them at all for an entirely deaf character, perhaps impose disadvantage for HoH), but also consider what abilities they may have developed. For example, it makes sense for this character to have the ability to read lips, and if they're a caster, it makes sense that the Silence spell has no effect or a reduced effect on them (again, considering whether they have some hearing or no hearing).

For a character blind in one eye: I wouldn't impose a disadvantage on perception checks necessarily on the grounds that D&D rules don't really take into account where you're looking (ie, they treat you like you have 360 degree vision even though fully sighted people do not have this); or if I did, it would just be disadvantage on all sight-based perception checks regardless of direction. It may make more sense to impose a penalty to ranged attacks (relying on depth perception).

But, to reiterate: talking to the player is crucial. Rusty Quill Gaming had a character who had lost a leg and for some of the story did not have a magical prosthetic, and the player built that in mechanically by giving his character low dexterity, and there was an additional penalty to his character's speed that was agreed upon with the GM. Someone else, however, might say "this character has a peg leg but they're really good at using it, and they're minimally affected," and that's their prerogative. I mean, there are expectations to set - if a player says their character is completely blind, then yeah, I think it's fair to say they can't make sight-based perception checks (but also...no disadvantage in darkness). But especially when it comes to a disability where people still have limited use of that sense or ability (like that headcanon about Ashton), if the player is including that for flavor and representation but doesn't want mechanical considerations, I'd respect that.