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#also uhh i would add to this if anyone wants to share songs that they associate with mo/lan/siuan
moiraineology · 5 months
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Moiraine Damodred: a playlist
Geyser (Mitski): Moiraine POV
Paprika (Japanese Breakfast): Moiraine POV
Hebridean Sun (Vashti Bunyan): Moiraine POV
Long & Lost (Florence + the Machine): Moiraine POV
Some things Cosmic (Angel Olson): Moiraine POV
Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart (Mitski): Moiraine POV
Francesca (Hozier): Lan POV
I'd Like to Walk Around in Your Mind (Vashti Bunyan): Moiraine POV
Explanations under the cut:
Geyser:
You're my number one
You're the one I want
And you've turned down
Every hand that has beckoned me to come
and
But I will be the one you need
The way I can't be without you
I will be the one you need
I just can't be without you
This is first on the list, and iirc Mitski wrote it about the unstoppable pull she feels toward her craft. In the same vein, I interpret this as an ode to Moiraine's mission, her reason for living, her guiding light.
Paprika:
Lucidity came slowly
I awoke from dreams of untying a great knot
It unraveled like a braid
Into what seemed were
Thousands of separate strands of fishing line
and
How's it feel to be at the center of magic
To linger in tones and words?
I opened the floodgates
And found no water, no current, no river, no rush
How's it feel to stand at the height of your powers
To captivate every heart?
This is just how I imagine it feels for Aes Sedai to hold Saidar. Also, the imagery at the beginning is so evocative and so relevant.
Hebridean Sun:
Traveling towards a Hebridean sun
To build a white tower in our heads begun
The grass knows, the hills know, we all know
Spring has come, the good fountain flows.
Each hoof fall brings us nearer the land
Of peat and seabirds and silver sand.
I've included almost every lyric in the song. I think the first book in the series begins at springtime/Bel Tine so I like to imagine that it's the journey that Mo/Lan/EF5 begin toward Tar Valon, or maybe just a song for Mo & Lan's travels. The White Tower reference is almost too good. Also, I headcanon Cairhien as having a really unique musical tradition, replete with microtones and lyrics that are akin to poetry.
Long & Lost:
Is it too late to come on home?
Are all those bridges now old stone?
Is it too late to come on home?
Can the city forgive? I hear its sad song.
Every time Moiraine returns to Tar Valon, a city built entirely of dusty stone, it has been years (if not decades). This song simultaneously evokes nostalgia, homesickness, and the awful, underlying knowledge that the city is home no longer.
Some things Cosmic:
Before we draw
My dear, dear friend
I promise you my word
If we should part
My dear, dear love
You know you're in my heart
and
If cosmic force is real at all
It's come between you and I
I want to be naked
I don't mean my body
I don't need my body
I mean, of course Moiraine believes in cosmic force. Fate has separated her from everyone she has ever loved. I thought of this song for when she masks the bond with Lan, leaving him in Fal Dara and taking Rand to the Eye of the World. She wants the bond back as much as Lan does. The moody vocals and dreamy (nightmarish?) atmosphere are also very good for the Blight (the wall of thorns from Sleeping Beauty had to have been an influence. Right?) The end of the song speaks to the nature of a bond (shared vulnerability, a nakedness that doesn't involve the body) as well as Moiraine's conviction re: her imminent death at the Eye. Also, I just love that this song is addressed to a friend. Platonic soulmates 5ever.
Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart:
There's nobody better than you
It took me a while 'til I knew
But you knew from the start it was us, didn't you?
It just took me a while 'til I knew
and
So, I don't blame you
If you want to bury me in your memory
I'm not the girl I ought to be
and
There's some kind of burning inside me
It's kept me from falling apart
And I'm sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart
But it's kept me from falling apart
That last stanza^ is The Mission, but more importantly, the strangeness of that beginning riff absolutely screams "massive breakdown." So I headcanon this song as what goes through Moiraine's head as she executes mental gymnastics convincing herself that Lan needs to get away from her as quickly as possible, by any means necessary (post 1x08). Also, we know that Moiraine considers Lan to be her better.
Francesca:
Do you think I'd give up
That this might've shook the love from me
Or that I was on the brink?
How could you think, darling, I'd scare so easily?
and
Now that it's done
There's not one thing that I would change
My life was a storm, since I was born
How could I fear any hurricane?
If someone asked me at the end
I'll tell them put me back in it
Darling, I would do it again,
If I could hold you for a minute
Darling, I'd go through it again
and
It was too soon
When that part of you was ripped away
This is almost self-explanatory, but I'm going to explain it because I am so in love with this song for Mo and Lan. It captures Lan's selflessness, his deep love, and his unshakable willingness to support her. There is a reference in the song to a traumatic event befalling the object of the singer's affection, and it can be read as directly paralleling what happened to Moiraine. Finally, the lyrics allude to someone's choice across lives to come back for the person they love, which is totally breathtaking (and relevant to the worldbuilding in WOT).
I'd Like to Walk Around in Your Mind:
I'd like to walk around in your mind someday
I'd like to walk all over the things you say to me
I'd like to run and jump on your solitude
I'd like to rearrange your attitude to me
and
I would disturb your easy tranquility
I'd turn away the sad impossibility of your smile
and
I'd sit there in the sun of the things I like about you
I'd sing my songs and find out just what they mean to you.
This is the song that bites at my heart. It is so lovely, and I wanted to end the playlist on a hopeful note. This is for the stretch of time during which Mo and Lan are walking on the beach together (right before Lan asks for the bond back). Something that took me a second to realize is that Moiraine wants the bond back as desperately as he does. This song is about that. She knows he is still wary around her after the way she treated him, and that breaks her heart. She misses knowing what he was thinking and feeling without having to ask. The line that really does me in, though, is the one that refers to the warmth of the things the singer likes about their beloved. That she imagines them filling their partners' mind like sunlight. The warmth and love between these two characters, the profundity of their shared understanding--it's exquisite. I'm tearing up at the very thought of it.
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lowkeyclueless5137 · 7 months
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I’m still getting over the feels from the idea of the wholesome yet sad song for Sliver and the knight of dawn(Lilia too of course) and that made my mind think of well. Island princess AU for Sliver 😀💧(he’ll be more of an island prince but still), I’m not sure how it’ll work but Uhh please use your writer magic on this
I'm a fucking wizard! I can blow shit with magic! :D
Oh that would be a fun au to add to the pile :3
For Barbie movies, I believe I have like 3 aus, so this would be the 4th.
I have:
The 3 musketeers au(Riddle, Vil, Azul and Silver are musketeers: one smooches the royalty, one is a successful model, one tries to make his father proud and one just wants to serve justice)
The swan lake au(Fiddle, but make it a romcom)
Mariposa/Fairytopia au(Idia sets on an adventure and our lord and savior Bibble is also there)
So this would be the 4th one :D
Lilia is a washed up sailor that lost hope of ever be found or escaping this island.
One day, he sees a ship. In hopes he could be saved, he tries to alert it, but the ship comes closer, revealing to be half sunken and with no one on board.
No one, except a small baby.
The ship remains were good for nothing, but Lilia managed to salvage some fabrics and wood to help him in his new goal: raising this baby.
So Silver grows up to be a fine man, taught by Lilia how to speak different languages, survival, combat and many more other skills. Silver also learns to communicate with animals and is just a kind person, so kind that no predator had the heart to hurt him.
Entering Kalim, exploring and finding the island.
Being curious of Silver and Lilia, he wants to take the 2 back to his palace. Silver is skeptical, but Lilia wants his son to have a bright future, one which the Palace surely can give it to him.
Also Silver's animal buddies: 2 parrots(Adeuce), one crocodile(Sebek), a wolf(jack), a (lavender)red panda(epel) and 2 predatory birds(the shroud bros, but only ortho is actively involved)
Of course, Kalim is surprised to find out that Silver could talk to animals. Others were surprised that this boy, who lived all his life on that island, was so well mannered and even knew how to write and read.
We get introduced to the Asim king and queen. The queen had a marvelous peacock(vil) who seems to be suffering of some illness.
Silver proves his worth by bringing Vil back to health.
Meanwhile, Lilia pleads his case and story to the royal couple. He was a war General from the thorn valley who wanted to know if his country was alright at least. Or if the war was over. He presented his old crest and his journal, which only proved more his credibility. His only goal now was to assure to his 'son' a good place where he could earn his keep fairly and have success, just how any parent wishes gor their child. The Asims see potential in Silver's abilities and so, they decide to hire him as an animal keeper after Lilia gets news of his country's status.
Silver didn't know about this exchange at all.
Meanwhile, he and Kalim bond together, Silver sharing his actual vast knowledge about different things. Jamil, Kalim's assistant, is always there too, gradually warming up to the idea of the 2 spending time together, Silver posed no harm to anyone.
Things tho, seem to get a bit wierd when Kalim is informed of an arranged marriage. His fiancé was Riddle, the son of the Queen from the queendom of roses.
Riddle was clearly not happy about it. While Mrs Rosehearts saw Silver as a thorn in her side of marrying her son to a rich kingdom heir.
Silver does get to bond a bit with Riddle, that being when the redhead says that he doesn't want to marry Kalim. Kalim was a great guy, but Riddle loved someone else. Silver says that maybe Riddle should follow his heart. This wasn't a matter of politics, but matter of love.
The 2 become friends too :D
Which is why when Riddle finds out of the plan of poisoning the wedding cake from his mother, he informed Silver about it, bailed him out of jail and admits that he wants to call off the engagement.
In the end, there is the happy ending for everyone. Because of the wedding being an important event, royals from all around the world gather, including the knight of dawn and queen Maleficia. So bad it was called off seconds before the ceremony :'3
It is revealed that Levan managed to reach with his diplomacy mission in time and now there wasn't anymore war. :3
Silver is very conflicted about the bio dad reveal, but Lilia encourages him to try and give him a chance. It was revealed that initially silver was sent on the sea with his mother to protect him from the horrors of war. Like it was a very reasonable motive and no one could predict that the ship would sink with Silver as the only survivor.
But still, a happy ending :D
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loserchildhotpants · 1 year
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Get to know your fic writer asks please 18-22, 67, 39, 54
fic writer asks
18] Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?
Titles are my worst enemies. The answer to your question is that it depends on the fic. A monster of a fic i've been writing for a few months now [42k words today and abt halfway through] is STILL untitled, but my ficlet Lost in the Sauce (a food kink prompt fill) was named as I put the first few sentences down lol. What i CAN say is that i have NEVER named a fic BEFORE writing it. Vibes determine too much and i never know what the vibe is gonna be til i start writing slkdfj so i only ever title during or after, and if im unable to come up w something wholly original myself, i use song lyrics bc im basic. Usually tho i like titling my fics after some important or key piece of narration or dialogue from the fic itself, so that u can have that Dicaprio Meme Moment of pointing at your screen
19] What is your most used tag on your AO3?
It appears to be a tie between Mutual Pining and Love Confessions sdkjfhsd
20] Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?
oh my fics definitely have recognizable patterns slkdjhffksjdh i think my writing style is a specific flavor and so if u open one of them up, u basically know what you're getting. not that that's a bad thing!
words/expressions -- idk! there's the obvious overuse of 'sigh' 'says' 'glances' -- stuff like that, but that's just the curse of writing so many interpersonal interactions lol tbh im unsure! if anyone wants to call me out on words or expressions i abuse in my fics pls let me know kjdsf
common settings: i am a canon-divergence lover so sets get reused all the time skdjfhsdlkj
themes: living, working through, or succumbing to grief, dealing w fear, finding forgiveness for past selves, reconciling who we are w who we thought we would be, generalized queer panic/denial and other identity crisis issues... uhh... i mean i also like to think im romantic tho sljkdfhsjkldfh
21] Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?
I have! This is a recent development! I don't usually collab bc i am fearful of Judgement sjkdfh like i get scared of what people will think of my writing process or how clunky or bad it sounds when it's just a draft -- i don't usually like anyone seeing what i'm writing until it's finished, but i've recently started collaborating a lot w majorly 2 of my friends : ) growth ✨
22] Are there certain types of writing you won't do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)
hmmmmmmmmm. years ago i switched from writing Past Tense to Present Tense and i'll never go back lol i LOVE writing in Present Tense. i feel like it adds an element of tension and the feeling that the future is still v malleable.
i don't know that i could write something good in first person POV :T like, i don't have anything against first person POV, i just don't think that's where my skill set lies and my execution of it would probably be really bad and cringe skldjfhfjk lol so i probably won't do that
there's no genre i can think of that i'd be opposed to trying my hand at and that goes for tropes too. there's loads i haven't tried yet, mostly bc they don't like, independently spark inspiration in me, but if given a prompt for it, i'd probably try! there's lots of dead dove topics that'd probably be really fun to write and i just haven't tried yet bc i am Soft and tend towards pining and love confessions skdljfh lol
39] Share a snippet from a WIP
"“Oh — oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to — oh, I always muck this stuff up, that must have been so out of line, I’m so sorry —”
“Samuel,” she interjects gently, her voice practically a whisper, “I don’t know that I’ve ever met someone with a kinder heart. I don’t know that anyone has ever made such a well wish on my behalf. You’ve just startled me is all… you do that.”
Feeling that Rowena crying is very simply, unnaturally wrong, Sam stops resisting the compulsion to touch her and reaches with his free hand across his chest to swipe at the tear near the apple of her cheek.
The tips of his fingers on that hand come in contact with a lock of her hair and the outer shell of her ear, and he gets chills up his arms and back from that alone; Dean was right, he might spontaneously combust at anything more.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he says, though he thinks she already knows that, “I would never mean for that. I had rather hoped to make you smile.”
“You tread carefully now,” Rowena warns him, her lips twitching, eyes shining, “or I’ll steal you for myself, Samuel, like some terrible witch of the woods, and I won’t return you to whatever world you come from.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad to me,” Sam confesses softly, smiling back at her.
For a thrilling moment, he sees Rowena’s eyes gentle, sees her consider him seriously, as if she might just be thinking of him the way he hopes beyond hope she might.
She goes to say something, but —"
54] What's your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?
i just love looking at a blorbo and being like 'let's put that guy in a situation.' top tier writing experience. i love taking an established character and really thinking hard abt what i know abt them, whether i want them to grow or i wanna study who they are without forcing evolution, thinking abt how they'd navigate some circumstance or conflict, consider what has already been written for that circumstance or conflict in fandom, and what new interpretation, in my own style, i can bring to the table to offer something new and interesting. it's like taking a beloved recipe of something that can't fail, and just seeing what cool new thing ur own perspectives and styles can do w it!
67] Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?
Sort of a mix of both? I love prompts, they send me on Brain Trains (destination: Dissociation Station) and the thing is, i usually stray from hard lines. like, i sometimes work off of being INSPIRED by a prompt rather than following the actual prompt? challenges sometimes scare me off bc once i have a Due By Date my brain will shut off creativity and get frightened lol i really love my independent ideas, but i have my best independent ideas while discussing prompts and challenges w other folks and spinning limbs off that original prompt or challenge until what i want to do is outside the guidelines of that prompt or challenge.
that said, i LOVE getting prompts from anons and stuff. there's something really flattering and happy-making abt someone popping into my inbox to be like 'i'd like to see YOUR specific take on this' ; u ;
anon thank u so much for sending me so many asks!! T A T <333
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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years
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Mine Again - Harry Styles
a/n: this is something i just thought about after my nap today lol, so enjoy this treat, a classic exlovers to lovers fic!
pairing: Harry x Famous!Reader
word count: 3.4k
masterlist
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Seeing an ex is never easy. Whether it’s by your choice or not. Working together with an ex is even harder and now you brought a situation on yourself where this is your reality.
Arriving to the studio of The Late Late show you immediately get escorted to your designated dressing room where a hair and makeup artist are already waiting for you. Today you are here to promote your new movie, Don’t Worry Darling with your onscreen lover, Harry Styles, however, what no one else in the building knows is that once the two of you were real life lovers.
Your romance blossomed during filming, having spent so much time together on set, it didn’t take long for a relationship to form between you and him, the chemistry you shared was immense and undeniable, anyone could see that and you felt like you were burning in a bonfire of the most intense feelings you’ve felt for any man. It was passionate and intoxicating, it felt like something that could only happen in movies, but it was your reality.
However filming ended and you were forced to go your separate ways, you both tried hard to keep what you had and though your feelings never changed, distance brought the worst out of the both of you. Six months after you became an item, you mutually agreed to break it off.
You haven’t seen him since then, meaning that it’s been five torturous months without having any contact with him and now that promo has officially kicked in, you are forced to travel around and make appearances with the man you love, yes, still love more than anyone on this Earth. Not even five months and absolutely no contact could change your feelings for him, however he might already be over you at this point, having forgotten about feelings and memories you still hold close to your heart.
How has he been doing? What is he like now? Has he been thinking about you? Does he miss you? What is it going to be like to see him for the first time?
The questions flood your mind as you sit in the chair and let the professionals work their magic on you, covering up the dark circles under your eyes that formed due to the sleepless night you had the day before, nonstop thinking about Harry and what it’ll be like to see him for the first time again.
After careful elimination, you choose a dress for the appearance, it’s tight and short, the fabric is covered in glittering sequins down your body and the long sleeves as well and while the dress covers a lot up from the waist, it makes up in the lack of length on your legs as the end of it barely reaches the upper part of your thighs, ending it black feathers that tickle your freshly shaven legs. The nude heels add even more to them, making you appear like you could hit the runway any moment when in reality you are not high enough to be a model.
There’s still some time until the taping starts, James drops by to say hello and tell you how excited he is to have you and Harry on tonight and you chit-chat for a little before you go to take a quick business call outside. When you’re done with that, you head back to your dressing room to take a few quick photos to post later, but right as you near your destination, a door swings open down the hallway and Harry steps out, wearing a black suit, of course, head to toe Gucci. The crispy grey shirt’s first few buttons are left undone, allowing you a glimpse of his toned chest and his necklace with the tiny cross pendant on it.
He looks good. No, he looks absolutely stunning, just like he always does and just the sight of him takes your breath away, forcing you to stop in your tracks when you lay your eyes at him. He spots you as well, stopping to take a look at you before you see a small smile on his perfect pink lips.
“Y/N, hi! You look… gorgeous,” he speaks up lowly, his eyes raking your body up and down.
“I, uhh—Thanks!” you breathe out, feeling already flustered. How are you gonna survive the interview, sitting next to him, talking about what it was like to play a married couple?!
His hand moves a bit and there’s a moment of awkwardness, neither of you really knowing what to do, last time you saw each other you kissed as your hellos, but now it’s not an option, obviously. At last, he moves forward and goes for a hug.
He envelopes you in his arms as you wrap yours around his neck, the warmth of his body bringing you a sense of home and it hits you hard how much you’ve missed him in these five months.
You swear he holds you just a second longer than what would be appropriate before his arms fall from around your frame and you force yourself to let go of him, though every fiber in you is protesting against it.
“How—How have you been?” he asks, his beautiful green eyes finding yours.
“I’m good. I’m good,” you nod. “What about you?”
“Same. Just the… usual stuff.”
“Writing music?” you ask with a soft smile. You still vividly remember those nights you spent together after a long day of filming, crashing at either his or your place and you often found him strumming his guitar in a corner, scribbling words down into his notebook. Sometimes he sang you the songs he came up with, sometimes he kept them to himself.
“Yeah, I’ve been writing a lot lately,” he admits with a shy smile.
Someone calls his name down the hallway and his head snaps up before looking back at you.
“I gotta go, but I’ll see you soon, right?”
“Yeah,” you nod, stepping aside so he can walk past.
“And you really look amazing, Y/N,” he calls after you one last time before jogging down the hallway.
You walk into your dressing room and shutting the door you lean your back against it, huffing heavily as you try to recollect yourself. Somehow, this encounter went really well, because the two of you were civil and respectful, but it was also a painful shock to see him in the flesh again. It was one thing to see pictures of him here and there, but actually meeting him, hugging him, talking to him… you need time to process it all.
Unfortunately, you don’t have much of that. Twenty minutes later you are walked to your spot behind the curtains from where you’ll walk out when James calls your name. Just as you arrive Harry appears as well, casually talking with one of the camera guys, having a laugh and just as he sees you, his eyes fall down your body again and you swear you see him gulp hard before turning his attention back to the man.
“Ready?” he asks upon walking up to you, a hand coming to rest on your lower back. Glancing over your shoulder you look down at his hand, lips parted at the feeling of his welcoming touch. He sees your glance and pulls his hand back quickly. “Sorry, it’s a habit, I guess,” he mumbles, blushing softly.
“It’s fine,” you smile. Of course it’s fine, for what you care, he could throw you over his shoulder like a cave man and run out of the building, you wouldn’t say a word. You want his touch on your body, you’ve been craving it since the moment you last saw him, but are you even allowed to admit it? You have no idea what he is thinking or feeling, you can’t just come right at him like that.
Harry fixes the lapels of his suit jacket, but what he doesn’t see is that the collar of his shirt is kind of stuck under the jacket.
“Your shirt is… let me fix it,” you breathe out and he turns to face you, letting your delicate hands fix his outfit, perfecting the look to the tiniest bit. “There, you look great,” you smile, your hands sliding down his chest before they fall to your sides again.
“Thank you,” he nods smiling back at you before offering an arm that you take gladly. He knows how much you hate high heels and that you are always scared of tripping and falling and being the gentleman that he is, he’ll be the support you need.
The taping soon starts and the two of you stand patiently behind the curtain as James introduces you.
“And now, please welcome the stars of the upcoming hit movie, Don’t Worry Darling! Ladies and gentlemen, Y/N Y/L/N and Harry Styles!”
The crowd starts clapping and cheering as the curtain moves and the two of you walk in, arms linked and Harry makes sure to slow down when you walk down the few little stairs. James welcomes the both of you with two kisses before everyone takes their place, James behind his desk, you and Harry sitting on the couch.
“Thank you so much for dropping by tonight, guys!” James smiles at the two of you.
“Thank you for having us,” Harry nods with a soft smile.
“You both have been guests on the show separately, but tonight you are here as a pair, since your latest movie, Don’t Worry Darling is hitting the theaters this weekend. How are you feeling about that, excited to see the film finally?”
“Very excited,” you nod with a smile. “I can’t wait to see the final version, because obviously we only know the version we envisioned while filming, but the actual movie is going to be something else.”
“Y/N, your role in the movie was originally handed to Florence Pugh who had to step back because she broke her arm,” James points out and you nod.
“Yes, I stepped in her place just about a week before production started and if I’m being honest I was scared that people would prefer to see her in the role, but I had a talk with her actually and she said she helped Olivia, the director to pick out the person to take her place and she said she instantly knew I would be perfect for it, so I trust her.”
“That’s amazing to hear, that the two of you didn’t have any rivalry going on,” James enthuses.
“She actually visited set a few times,” Harry chimes in and you nod.
“Yeah, we had a great time together.”
“Sounds like a lot of fun, the three of you together,” James chuckles. “So, the two of you play a married couple in the film and if I’m not mistaken you didn’t know each other beforehand. Was it hard to get into the roles with not much background on each other?”
“We met up a few times before filming started to get to know each other more and I think we hit it off right away, so it wasn’t hard for me,” Harry speaks up and you nod along.
“It was obviously a little different situation than when you meet someone and become friends, because as we got to know each other more, we had to go through scenes that were meant for a couple that was already years into their relationship, but I think it strengthened our friendship,” you answer, hands laid flat on your bare thighs.
No lie has been told, everything you said was the truth. You just left out the part where you become real life lovers and started dating a month into production.
“Y/N, you’ve been acting for a while now, have quite a few roles under your belt, what did you think of Harry’s acting?”
“I think that he is a wonderful actor and I hope people will give him his much deserved credit for it. He is often still seen as just a silly singer from a former boy band and they don’t take him seriously when he really is a very talented man. You’ll see in the movie as well, his role was a tough one, needed a lot of work and a wide range of emotions, but I think he did an amazing job.”
You dare to glance at him at the end of your little speech and for a moment you forget about the audience, James and the cameras. He is looking at you with so much gratitude and thankfulness. You remember every talk you had where he opened up to you about wanting to be taken seriously in the acting business, that he is not trying to be just a joke and another failed attempt of a singer to try himself out in movies. He told you how scared he is of not being good enough when you saw him every day on set and you were blown by his eternal talent and special take on his role. He deserves to be praised, he deserves every bit of it.
“It was easy, I had a great partner to learn from,” he smiles softly and you feel the heat crawling up your neck.
“You two really have the chemistry we’ve heard so much about, I can’t wait to see it on the big screen!” James sighs. “Tell me a little about what it was like to film? You guys spent a lot of time together, must have made a lot of memories.”
You take a deep breath as all those memories mentioned flood your mind. You had the best time of your life not just with Harry, but with the whole crew. Leaving after production was wrapped really broke your heart.
“It didn’t even feel like working,” Harry starts. “We always joked around, had lunch or dinner together, we were like a big family. It was so nice to have so many amazing, talented and hard-working people around you all day.”
“The jokes never stopped,” you add chuckling.
“I wish I could have been on set!” James laughs wholeheartedly. “That didn’t happen, but we have a little something. The crew has put together a short BTS video of the filming, so let’s have a look at that,” he announces and the video starts playing on every screen in the studio.
It’s a short little montage, but it captures the vibes of filming just perfectly. Clips shown from set are not just of you and Harry, but all the other cast and crew members. Goofing around, having lots and lots of laughs, dancing on set, which happened quite often and just all of you having a great time. Some of the slips however pain your chest, the ones of you and Harry.
This was very early into your relationship, no one on set even knew you were together, but seeing yourself on the screen you can’t deny the sparkles in your eyes every time you were around him.
A clip shows the two of you between two takes, doing a goofy dance in the kitchen of the home that was used as the set of the house of your characters, you are both wearing your costumes, Harry looks great in his suit and your long retro dress is flowing around you with every movement you make. He grabs you by your waist and spins you before you end up in his arms laughing crazily, you were so happy, so carefree. You wish you could go back to that moment…
Another footage was taken in your trailer when Harry took the place of Clare, your makeup artist and tried to do your eyeliner but miserably failed. In the video, he is gently clasping your chin, angling your face for himself as his other hand is working on the line, but it’s wobbly and way too thick, so you both end up just laughing when you check yourself in the mirror.
And there are some small moments of the two of you, moving around on set, lying in bed between takes, sitting in your chairs while eating, just tiny memories you still cherish so much and wish to live through again, but it’s the past. And it wouldn’t hurt this much if you knew Harry from the video was still yours.
When the video ends you need to blink a few times as your eyes have watered a little. You catch Harry’s gaze and he looks worried, he clearly wants to ask if you’re okay, make sure it was just the sentimentality of the moment, but he doesn’t have the chance, the cameras are still rolling.
“That looked like so much fun! Next time make sure to invite me on set too!” James jokes and you force a laugh out of yourself.
A few questions are asked about future plans and just generally about your careers before the taping finally ends. You thank James for the invite again and a photo is taken of the three of you, you standing in the middle with the two men on your sides. When everything is settled, you head to your dressing room, using the chance to slip away silently while Harry is still chit-chatting on the set.
In the comfort and silence of the dressing room, you lean onto the vanity, staring at yourself in the mirror, finding it ironic that on the outside, you look perfectly fine, healthy and pretty, but on the inside… you could scream. You miss Harry so much, you hoped that your feelings for him have toned down a little over these five months, but it was just the same if not even worse.
A faint knock is heard on the door and you quickly fix yourself before calling out to the person outside. The door opens and for your surprise, Harry steps inside, closing the door behind him.
“Hey, you disappeared so fast,” he softly says.
“Yeah, I’m just… a little tired,” you lie, though you know exactly he can see right through you.
“Y/N, I saw that look in your eyes after the video…”
“What look?” you ask with a huff. “What do you want me to say, Harry?”
“The truth,” he answers. “I’m not James, don’t bullshit me.”
“You want the truth? I’ll give it to you, but don’t blame me if it’s uncomfortable for you,” you chuckle bitterly, throwing your hands into the air. “I’ve been miserable, Harry. I miss you so fucking much, seeing you today was like Hell. I really thought it would be easier, but now I’m stuck with going from one interview to the other with red carpet events all around the world, seeing you every day when I terribly miss you and it fucking sucks, because you might not even feel the sa—“
You don’t get to finish, because Harry crosses the distance between the two of you, his hands grab your face and pulls you into a hard and passionate kiss. His lips move perfectly against yours and it feels like he is trying to squeeze every missed moment from the past five months into the kiss, making you melt into his arms completely.
He is everywhere. He is all you can taste, you breathe him in, his hands are everywhere on your body and your chest is pressed tight against his as you wrap your arms around his neck, locking him into your embrace. Your tongues dance, teeth tugging and pulling on lips, it’s a whole mess, but it’s the most perfect mess you’ve ever been. He takes your breath away completely and you don’t even want it back if it means you can’t have him.
Harry pulls away first, both your chests heaving wildly from the heavy make-out session and he looks down at you with hooded eyes.
“If you think I haven’t missed you like crazy… you can’t be more wrong, baby. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I wanted to call you a thousand times and beg for you to come back to me, but I thought you already moved on.”
“Moving on?!” you huff with a tired smile. “Harry, I could never…”
“Alright, then I’m not letting you go again. No way you are walking out of this building without being mine again.”
A shiver runs down your spine at his words as you pull him down for another kiss, needing to feel his lips on yours.
“I never stopped being yours,” you whisper against his lips and he moans weakly before crashing his lips against yours again. 
-
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!
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btsxmalereaders · 3 years
Text
♡ Meant To Be
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Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x male reader
Fluff ♡ | Requested
Word Count: 2,8k
Masterlist
Don't forget to vote on whosfan and stream
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"Aren't you even a little curious about it?"
You've heard this question thousands of times already; yet, the answer for it has never changed.
"No, not really." You shrug while your friend stares at you in disbelief. "Why do you ask knowing my answer?"
"I just had the hope that you changed your mind," Jeonghan says. "You know, out of everyone in our group of friends, you're the only one who hasn't found their soulmate."
You take one last sip of your tea and sigh, "And you're telling me this to make me feel bad?"
"No! It's just... I thought that would make you feel at least curious of the person whose name is written on your wrist ever since forever."
Your eyes immediately go to your wrist, and your other hand covers the name with your sleeve.
"And I still don't get your habit of covering it, as if you don't want us to know." He laughs. "Are you trying to ignore it and expect to find them like people picture it on dramas?"
Inevitably, you roll your eyes, "I don't know what to tell you. I just think that if we're really meant to meet, then it's gonna happen... someday. I'm in no rush."
Jeonghan nods in understanding, "I guess you're right."
"I am always right." You chuckle. "Now keep telling me about Injae, how is it going with her?"
That's exactly the way you would always dissociated yourself from the topic every time you were asked about it. It wasn't something you really cared about, unlike to your friends. You were happy with the way things are right now.
"... we are taking things slow, and it's all going great. I am really happy about it." He puts on a goofy smile and his ears and cheeks quickly covers in a tinted pink.
"Aw, my little Jeonghan is in love, who would've thought?"
"Shut up, who said anything about love?" He tries to act cool, but he's still smiling and feeling nervous.
"Please," You scoff. "That smile tells me you're head over heels about her. And the way your eyes shine whenever you talk about her? Seems like love to me."
"Ha, ha, ha, you really like to make fun of me, don't you?" He sarcastically blurts. "I am dying to see how you're gonna be once you meet your soulmate. "
"Mmh, we'll see about that..."
Just when you're about to continue reading your textbook, your phone buzzes over the table. You already got distracted by talking to Jeonghan when you both were supposed to be studying for the upcoming exams, but you decide to read the messages you received.
"What's better, keep studying or going out to grab lunch with Sihwan?" You throw the question in the air, to which your friend hums.
"Your friend that works at JYP entertainment?" You nod. "I mean, anything is better than studying for socials, so if I were you, I would go."
"You say that because you want to bump into an idol, don't you?"
"If you meet Twice, could you ask them to  autograph something for me?" He says with a pout, making you laugh.
"I am not that lucky." You say and quickly start gathering your belongings to put them on your backpack. "You're meeting Injae later, right? I'll catch you up at the dorm?"
"Sure, I'll see you later."
With that being said, you start walking to the building. Even when your friend has invited you a couple of times already, you couldn't help but feel nervous. That weird feeling in your stomach and the tingling in your skin, like chills. Trying to ignore it, you pass by a nearby restaurant and order Sihwan's favorite food, carrying the bags carefully until you reach the entrance of the building.
After a few messages letting him know you're already there and a few more minutes of waiting, your friend greets you with a smile and a pat on your back, helping you with the bags in your hands and guiding you to the elevator. Unusual, but you don't say anything about it.
"I have more work than usual today, I hope you don't mind eating in my studio."
"You won't get in trouble?" You ask, feeling concerned,  but he only denies with his head as he presses a button.
"Don't worry, it's fine."
You silently follow him, trying to not look at anyone in the eyes when you walk through the hall, all the way to the studio. Anyway, no one seems to be aware that you are a regular college student. Lots of people work in there and it's hard to keep track of everyone in there.
"Come in, seriously, it's okay." He chuckles by seeing how you look around and slowly walk inside. "I've been working on the melody and guide for a new group these past hours."
The door is closed and Sihwan sits on the office chair and signals the sofa behind it for you to do the same.
"You brought food from that new restaurant down the street? Sweet." He says and opens the bag, placing the food containers on the wooden table between you two. "I've been starving."
"Working for a new group, you said?" You ask with interest, grabbing what you ordered for yourself and start eating as well.
Sihwan nods, "A girl group, they've been working hard and will debut soon, I hope you can listen to them."
"I am kinda old school, but for you I can do it, I guess..."
You two continue having a conversation about music and how you've been doing at college while sharing food. The last time you met with him was a couple of months ago, so the conversation keeps going for a while until he decides it's time to go back to work.
"Well, in that case I'll leave you. I've got to go back to study too." You say as you stand up and clean the desk.
"Mmh, okay. Thanks for this, how about we go have dinner next week? It's gonna be on me."
"Sounds great to me. Text me the details later?"
"Sure thing." He promises and smiles. "You know how to get back, right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. See you!"
As soon as you step out of the studio, you look around to make sure no one is walking in the hall, so you almost run to the elevator, not expecting that someone would bump into you as they exit one of the offices.
You fall to the ground and start apologizing immediately, feeling embarrassed.
"I am so sorry, I didn't see you." You hear them saying.
"No, I am sorry, I shouldn't have ran here." You say, and as you try to stand up, they're extending their hand to you to help you up.
You take the help and do a reverence as a thank you and clean the invisible dust on your clothing, and as you're about to walk to the elevator, their voice stops you.
"Y/N L/N?"
You stop on your tracks and finally have the courage to stare at them in the eye and realize that it's a guy, and a very handsome one, you must add. Your legs tremble at the sight, clearly stunned by seeing someone so good-looking. Your immediate thought is that he's an idol or trainee.
"Uh, do we know each ot-?"
Your question is interrupted as he shows you his wrist, and that's when you see it clearly. Your name tattoed on his skin.
"I am Hwang Hyunjin... your soulmate."
You're at the loss of words. The only thing you can do is get lost in his eyes staring back at you, looking for whatever to say, but the situation feels unreal. It's like your body is frozen.
"Hey, Hyunjin, is everything okay out there?" A third voice coming from the office brings you back down to earth.
"I am sorry, I gotta go." You quickly say the second he is distracted, running as fast as your legs allow it and get in the elevator, pressing the bottons and seeing him run in the hall one last time before the doors finally close.
You exit the building and walk to the bus stop, looking back from time to time only to realise that Hyunjin has not followed you. With your heart beating like crazy and your hands shaking you get to text Jeonghan to let him know you were on your way back to the apartment and that you had big news. He was definitely not going to believe it.
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"Ow! What was that for?" You groan as Jeonghan grabbed a pillow and threw it to you.
"You just ran away?!"
"I panicked, okay? You can't put the blame on me for that!"
"With all due respect, you're an idiot." He sighs. "You met your soulmate and just ran, oh god... What are you going to do?"
"Uhh... nothing?"
Jeonghan grabs the pillow again just to throw it at you, but your hands stop him.
"Okay, okay, I'll do something about it. I'll go see him again!"
"That's a big lie, you say that as if I don't know you." He rolls his eyes.
"Yes, I am a coward. I don't know what should I do, help me." You say with a pout.
"Your friend? He may know him, don't you think?" He states as if it's so obvious.
"Ooh, you're right! I am going to have dinner with him next week, I can ask him..."
"See? It's like the universe is conspiring for you to meet again... Properly meet, I mean."
You stop listening to him as he starts complaining and making fun of the way you reacted earlier.  Your mind is now finding a good way to reach out to him.
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"...And I could finally finish that song." Sihwan says with a grin and takes a sip of his beverage. "I was practically isolated and had no proper human contact for a while, so thanks to our talk and delicious food I could finish in no time after that."
You giggle, "Really? Then I am happy I could be helpful, don't forget to add me on the credits."
He laughs at the joke and continues talking, "You didn't get caught on your way out, right?"
"Well... about that."
"Wait, are you serious? Did you get in trouble?" He asks, concerned.
"No, no! It's just that... Do- do you know Hwang Hyunjin?"
It's now or never.
Sihwan seems to think about it for a second, feeling confused. "Yeah, I mean, our team is not working with them, but I've talked to him and his group a couple of times. Why? You ran into him?"
"Yeah, but also..." You lift the sleeve of your shirt, letting him see the name written on your skin.
"No way! Really?" He says with a big smile. "Hell, congratulations! How- wait, why don't you look happy about it?"
"Because I panicked and ran away before I could say something to him." You say and hide your face behind your hands out of frustration. "I need your help, hyung."
"Okay," He chuckles. "Of course, what can I do to help?"
You sigh and take out a folded paper from the pocket of your ripped jeans, looking at it for a second before handling it to your friend. "Could you give this to him?"
Sihwan takes it and nods. "Of course, I'll give it to him as soon as I can."
Now all you have to do is wait.
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You plop down in the sofa and stare at the screen of your phone for the millionth time today, feeling hopeless at this point. It has been one week since you asked Sihwan to give that letter to Hyunjin, and ever since, you couldn't help but wait for a message from him, or even a call, despite you don't knowing what would you even say.
"Hmm, you haven't heard anything from him?" Jeonghan asks and sits next to you. You deny with your head and sigh. "Maybe he's busy. I heard his group is going to do a comeback soon."
"A what, now?" You ask, and your friends looks as you in disbelief.
"Don't tell me you haven't looked up for him on internet. I mean, he was in JYPE for a reason."
"Uhh..."
"Oh my god, I swear you are..." He doesn't finish his premise. Instead, he takes the phone from your hands and looks up for his name on the web. "Stray Kids, you didn't look up for him? I can't believe this, are you even on social media?"
"Shut up, let me see this."
You quickly read their information, going directly to the names and pictures of the members, quickly finding Hyunjin and realizing your friend is right. How come you didn't think of it?
"Oh yeah, here says they're releasing an album in a few days..."
"Told you." He murmurs. "Are you still going to wait for him to text you?"
"Do I have another option? I don't think I can go around the building just looking for him, even if I am with Sihwan."
"Hmm, you're right. I hope you can talk soon, though. Imagine this: you and Hyunjin together, we become friends and he gives me a tour in JYPE to meet Twice."
You roll your eyes and stand up, "You're being delusional. I'll go to sleep now, goodnight!"
"That's rude!" He groans and sees you walk away. "I hope you panick and run away again next time you see him!"
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The next morning when you wake up, the first thing you do is check your phone, and your heart almost stops when you see a new message from an unknown number.
You go clean your face and take a deep breath to gather the courage you needed to finally read the long-awaited message.
With trembling hands you unlock your phone and click on the notification.
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It was no surprise to see how easy was to talk with him. You two started talking on regular basis, when he was free from his schedule and when you weren't studying, which happened really late at nights.
Soon, those thousands of messages became frequent phone calls and videocalls that lasted hours, and to say that you both trusted each other with your lives was an understatement. You were still getting used to the idea that your soulmate was an idol; and it was weird to see him constantly on the internet, as of course you started following every other fan account you found on social media. Hyunjin, on the other hand, was trying to be very supportive of your studies and kept sending you messages of encouragement as well as listening to your ramblings about your career and complaints about your professors.
"So you've caught feelings for him, right? It was about time, Y/N" Jeonghan says with a shrug. "I know some soulmates only work as friends and all that, but it was pretty obvious to me that you'd end up in a romantic relationship."
"Really?"
He nods and smiles. "Of course! Are you going to ask him out?"
"I was planning to, but what if he doesn't feel the same? What if he just sees me as the friend type?"
Jeonghan hums. "Well, I think it's gonna be okay. You're soulmates for a reason, don't you think?"
You hesitate to grab your phone and open the message bar, typing a question and hoping things will go well after pressing the send button.
"Hyun, is it okay if I ask you out?
Like, on a date?"
A few minutes later you receive an answer,  needless to say, you didn't expect him to reply now, so you feel as if your heart is about to make a hole on your chest right now.
Hyun ♡
God, I was really hoping I wasn't the only one feeling this way.
Of course it's okay
I would love to go out on a date with you, Y/N ♡
You now feel at ease, the butterflies flying in your stomach and your body feeling so light as if you were floating. Is that how being in love feels like?
"He said he'd love to go on a date with me." You announce with a smile.
"See? There you go, my plan of meeting Twice soon is going awesome." He says and you give him a deathly glare. "I am kidding! But I have to say, who's smiling and blushing like a dumb right now?"
"Jeonghan!" You groan and grab a pillow to throw it at him, but he's quicker to stand up and walk away, still laughing.
Hyun ♡
Now you're not being shy, eh?
You won't run away from me when we meet?
You're the worst, you text back.
Hyun ♡
I may be
But I am your soulmate, so pretty much you can't get rid of me
He was right, but you were not intending to do that.
Because, now more than ever, you were sure things were meant to be this way. Right next to him forever.
400 notes · View notes
hnychn · 3 years
Text
𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐓 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄 [𝐈𝐈𝐈]
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sypnosis : life with your five lovers has been more than fulfilling, but when you're paired with a student from general studies for a project, your quintet seems a little less full
word count : 4000+
warnings : mutual pining, gender neutral reader, relationship insecurities, bakugo tries but. . .it doesn't go as well as he planned, grammar errors and spelling errors, it's . . . a long one, a bit rushed at the end so uhh pls don't mind that :)
parts : [ 𝐈 ] [ 𝐈𝐈 ] [ 𝐈𝐈𝐈 ]
a/n : so sorry for the long wait LMAO- i know i said my bokuto fic would be coming out today but uhhh ahaha my depression hit me full force this weekend and i didn't even look at the dock because i was too busy sleeping, but uhh enjoy this :D
↩︎ back to student masterlist | main mha masterlist
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- WELCOME TO PART THREE sorry for the log wait 😭 life has been kicking my ass but we're not here to hear me complain, we're here for the tea
- so, it's a couple months after you joined the bakusquad and their relationship. and let me tell you, it has been nothing but amazing. 😩 your days are never quiet and they're always filled with some sort of excitement and love.
- you kaminari and mina often get into trouble for leaving the dorms late at night because you want snacks and there's nothing in the kitchens. you become kirishima's pillow, don't matter about your size or whatever, you are his pillow and you better not argue 🔫 sero always puts on some type of bachata or reggaeton or some spanish song and dances with you in his dorms. and bakugo is your go to person to cook with and just generally annoy or prank since it's so easy to get a reaction out of him.
- and you couldn't have asked for a better relationship. you all are so communicative and talk about your feelings often and how you're doing. every saturday or sunday, you all go to a dorm (usually it's bakugo's cause it's the cleanest) and have a huge cuddle pile and talk about your mental states, how you're doing, what you have problems with, etc etc.
- like damn ok i see you with the mentally and emotionally stable relationship 🤪🤪
- it's so refreshing too because sometimes you'll have a tough week and you jsut need to let it all out, and you can in the comfort of bakugo's dorm and you know none of them will judge you because they're all so open about their love for you (and vise versa)
- anyways, yeah y'all got the best relationship
- you never thought about anyone else in a romantic sense because the squad took up nearly all of the space in your heart. but when you teacher announced one day the general studies kids would be coming in to have a joint project to create gadgets for the hero course students, you had no idea your life would suddenly be turned upsidedown.
- you were paired with a guy named shinsou. he looked friendly enough and returned the wave you sent him with a little surprise as he made his way to the open seat next to you. he seemed surprised when you started a small conversation but he talked to you in a quiet soothing voice. he seemed nice enough and you figured the project would be a breeze since he seemed so nice and offered to meet up over the weekend to start up some ideas for the project.
- you agreed and the two of you met up that lunch period in the library to pre-draft some ideas and get to know each other more.
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"i'm surprised you don't mind being seen with me."
his sudden comment took you by surprise as you looked up from your paper with messily drawn gadgets and chicken scratch writing to look up at him, "what do you mean?"
it was true you had never seen him before or even heard of him, but his hesitance to talk to you and open up to you made you feel as though you should.
shinsou rubbed the back of his neck and looked away shyly, "so you really haven't heard anything about me, have you?"
he looked almost guilty to bring it up, his gaze falling to the table in front of him as be played with a strand of his hair.
you shook your head. you never really payed attention to gossip around school, your head always too high up in the clouds to care about rumors and gossip (bakugo often scolded you for being such an airhead and ignorant to your surroundings, but you knew he was just worried about something happening to you). plus, to you, gossip was nearly never right and more often made up and fictitious.
shinsou refused to look up at you, "well. . .i'm known throughout the school as a. . ." he looked hesitant to continue but before you could reassure him he didn't have to talk about it if he didn't want to, he continued, "well, a villain."
he prised his lips as if the words left a bitter taste in his mouth, and all you could do was tilt your head. shinsou didn't seem like a bad person - or a 'villain' as he had said. on the way to the library he held open doors for you and helped you carry some of your books to your locker and even bought you a drink you wanted buy but were a bit short of change on.
"do you think you are?"
"what?" shinsou looked at you for the first time since he brought up the topic.
"do you think you're a villain?" he shuffled slightly in his seat and looked away again from your intense stare. he felt like you were looking straight into his soul from how strongly you were looking into his eyes, he wasn't sure if you had even blinked in the last minute.
shinsou thought back to all the times he's been called a villain or a criminal. it was always unwarranted, a passing comment that seemed like no big deal to others but shattered his heart into smaller and smaller pieces. but never once had he ever thought he was a villain - a monster.
if anything, he used those comments as encouragement to become a hero, to be better than those who always thought he would turn to a life of crime. so, "no... i don't think i'm a villain."
"well, that's that."
shinsou could only stare at you, your smile brighter than any star he'd ever seen, so full of hope and encouragement shinsou felt like he could take on the world. he looked away and rubbed the back of his neck, a shy smile pulling at his lips and a weird feeling blossoming in his chest. how curious. . .
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- so yeah, a new friendship 🤪 the two of you started to spend a lot of free time together for the project. you would often meet up during lunches or free time between classes to work some more on the project, all the while getting to know each other in depth. you learned many things about shinsou and spilled many of your own secrets, you laughed together over old childhood stories, and played animal crossing on the rooftop during lunch, your project discarded and forgotten beside you.
- your sudden absence didn't go unnoticed by your lovers, and they grew curious to your whereabouts when you would blow them off for the fifth time that week to "work on your project". now, don't get me wrong, they had conplete trust in you and knew you would never cheat, but they were just curious as to what - or who - was taking up so much of your time.
- so, they did the smartest thing, and followed you. after blowing them off for the sixth time, they decided to follow you to your destination. mina and kaminari tried to be inconspicuous and wear disguises, but the fake mustache, black glasses (indoors, might i add) and hat weren't all too discreet as they thought.
- they followed you through every turn and weave you took and hid behind a corner when you stopped at a vending machine to get your favourite drink. but what surprised them the most was you also bought a coffee. bakugo was most surprised you even thought about even touching the can of caffine because he remembered you telling him you would get terrible caffine rushes that would make you dizzy if you drank coffee.
- but, as you finally reached the rooftop and made your way to a hunched over figure in the corner, it all made sense.
- they all saw how effortlessly you and shinsou acted around each other. they could see the soft looks he would send you when you weren't looking and the way his hand would hover over yours for a split second too long before snapping away as if you were made of lava. but surprisingly, they didn't feel any sort of jealousy or anger, it felt like a piece of them had returned they didn't even know was missing. the sort of feeling that walks through the door unexpectedly but it's wholesomely welcomed.
- the "oh, there you are, welcome back" type of feeling. they were happy you had found someone that made you feel comfortable, arguably more comfortable than you had been with them so far because truthfully, while you had felt welcomed and appreciated in the relationship, it still felt like you were an outsider. the five of them had inside jokes before you came and didn't get them when they came up, the five of them had habits special to each other that inadvertently excluded you. and while they never meant to hurt you (god knows that's the last thing they ever wanted to do), they had. but you knew that wasn't their intention so you held no malitious feelings towards them (not that you think you'd ever could).
- but the way you and shinsou so effortlessly opened up to each other, shared intimate details and secrets with each other - it warmed their hearts. so, bakugo grabbed them all by the back of their shirts and dragged them away, mumbling about giving the two of you space. there was a fond look in his eyes as he looked at the two of you he would be teased about later but would deny.
- it was undeniable bakugo held the softest spot for you. he tried as best as he could to include you in their inside jokes and habits but he was. . well . . . bakugo 🧍🏽‍♀️
- words aren't necessarily his strong suit and he could only hope his smaller actions let you know you were as loved and cherished as any of them there. and you knew, you caught on a little after bakugo had a little "secret talk" with the group (that wasn't really secret at all, he grabbed them all by their shirts and dragged them to a secluded spot while you distracted on your phone) and they all started to explain their jokes and include you in their habits.
- anyways, back to you and shinsou. 🤪 he was aware you were in a ployamorous relationship with the bakusquad and he's heard the way you talk about them and the soft airy tone of your voice and the starry look in your eyes; and he didn't want to get in between that. the last thing he ever wanted was to ruin your relationship for his own selfish reasons.
- so for the time being, he would be okay with watching you from afar, the sweetness of your love so close for him to taste; yet too far for him to savour.
- as more and more times passed, the bakusquad began to notice the lingering looks you would give shinsou when you passed him in the halls and how he would always be waiting for you outside of your class with your favourite drink before leaving you to go to lunch while he went off and . . . well, you weren't sure what he did during his free time, but he never brought it up so you never figured to ask.
- when you fell asleep the next time you all had a cuddle session in bakugo's room, they all talked about it. talked about your obvious feelings for each other and the possibility of including shinsou in their relationship. they spent hours talking about it and still talked about it even when the moon vanished over the horizon and the sun rose. and, in not very smart fashion, bakugo was tasked to confronting shinsou about their conclusion.
- which - almost as if there were an author behind all of this - didn't go as well as any of them planned.
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it was perfect, really. almost as if the universe had been listening to their conversation and aligned itself perfectly for this very moment.
you woke up that morning with a terrible stomach ache and chose to stay back in your dorm after bakugo made you a bowl of soup and threatened you to take your medicine. his classes ended a little earlier than usual and, sending his lover's a nod, made his way over to your class, where, lo and behold, shinsou was standing near the door, the familiar brand of your favourite drink in one hand and his own cold coffee in the other.
bakugo wasn't sure what he was going to say when he reached shinsou. he opted to just speak from the heart over rehearsing lines with the others like they had wanted, besides, what kind of lover would be be if he couldn't even do this for you? but, what he didn't take into consideration, was his emotional constipation and tsundere attidute.
"hey, eye bags!" bakugo called out.
shinsou nearly jumped out of his skin at bakugo's sudden loud voice. he looked over with the same eyes of indifference he normally had, but bakugo could see the slight far in them. not at his brash attitude (shinsou could never be afriad of bakugo and confronting him before the sports fesitval was a perfect example of that) but the fear of ruining your relationship with the bakusquad.
shinsou nodded at bakugo when he got close enough. bakugo stood in front of him, his hands still shoved into the pockets of his pants, "they're sick."
it was a simple enough statement but shinsou blinked, "what?"
"y/n." bakugo stated and rolled his eyes as if the answer had been written on his forehead (and it basically had, shinsou was just a bit shocked at his appearance), "they're sick and mina's staying back with them in their dorm."
shinsou rubbed the back of his neck, "oh."
there was an awkward silence as the two boys stood in the vacant hallway. bakugo didn't know what to say and shinsou wasn't sure if he should leave or go visit you for their lunch break.
"i'll go drop this off to them-"
"no." bakugo practically growled, "i'll drop it off. go get eat your lunch or i'll make your face an eye bag."
shinsou flushed a bit in embarrassment. he was overstepping, of course he was. for a minute, having you all to himself for nearly a week straight made him forget about the relationship you were in and this was a smack of reality. you weren't his. you were in a relationship with others, other people who could give you nearly double what he could - everything he couldn't.
handing bakugo the drink, shinsou stalked away to the cafeteria, his cheeks still a light shade of pink. bakugo sighed and knew he most likely made things worse, and he came there originally to make things right.
but fate will work itself out. and what will be, will be.
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- so... maybe sending bakugo wasn't the best idea ... 🧍🏽‍♀️
- because now, shinsou started avoiding you. when the two for you worked on your projects together, he would remain mostly silent and only input his opinion when he thought of an idea or needed help putting something together. you had no idea why and you honestly felt a little hurt that he ignored you as easily as breathing.
- you brought this up to your lovers on your weekly cuddle session, knowing they would have brought up your downpour attitude either way. what you didn't notice as your face was burried in denki's sweater were the glares they all were throwing at bakugo.
- "yeah, i wonder what happened..." sero smiled, though obviously strained, as he pet your head and told you shinsou was probably just going through something.
- and it was obvious you were hurt that shinsou had suddenly stopped talking to you because honestly it was kind of hard for you to make friends. a lot of people assumed you thought you were higher than everyone else because you were dating five students from the top hero course, but that obviously is far from the truth.
- anyways, a long time goes by and the two of you still haven't rekindled anything and the squad is getting a bit frustrated because hello??? join our cult lover circle ?????
- so the squad comes up with another solution and this time they don't send bakugo to collect shinsou
- they learned their mistake last time.
- anyways
- so sero goes and gets shinsou and tells him you need him for a little last touch of the project since it was near the due date and you wanted to make sure it was perfect. and shinsou agrees to meet up with you and follows sero.
- sero takes him into an empty classroom and it's pitch black. the windows have been covered with tape and all the lights are off. before he could ask what the hell was going on, the door slams shut and the lights suddenly turn on and shinsou's blinded for a moment.
- and he's met with a very interesting sight.
- mina, kaminari, and kirishima are standing in front of him with sunglasses and hats on, their arms are crossed and they have a blank look on their faces (though he can tell kaminari is about to burst into laughter and nearly does but kirishima jabs him in his side.)
- "uhh..."
- "shut up, eye bags." bakugo calls from behind him. he's leaning against the door with his arms crossed and an obviously pissed off look on his face.
- sero is just standing next to him with a 'sorry pal' kind of smile.
- "what is-"
- "what are your intentions with, y/n?" kaminari shouted suddenly as he slammed his hand on a nearby desk.
- "denki- no." mina pushed him back lightly, "that's not what-"
- "did you not listen last night, sparky?" bakugo rolled his eyes and scoffed lightly.
- kaminari shyly scratched his cheek, "i might have fellen asleep-"
- "he did." sero confirmed, "he drooled on me and everything.
- "I do not drool!!"
- "yes you do, it was like a waterfall, 'ki. "
- "no i don't, right kiri?"
- "well.. only a few drops.."
- "WHAT?! and none of you told me?!"
- "well, y/n kind of made us promise not to tell..."
- "SPEAKING OF Y/N," mina interjected into the conversation, her fingers rubbing at her temples as she wondered when she became the rational one, that was bakugo's job, "why don't we stick to the script, boys."
- kirishima slung an arm over her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her cheek, "sorry, princess."
- "right." sero turned to shinsou and crossed his arms, "you have feelings for them don't you?"
- shinsou tensed. his mind was still trying to comprehend the conversation that happened just a few seconds ago and processing the fact that kaminari drools in his sleep. he wasn't sure how to respond.
- of course he had feelings for you, any rational person who came into contact with you would catch feelings. it was part of your natural charm that seemed to effortlessly draw people in and never let them go. in a matter of minutes, you had simultaneously become his best friend and his closest confidant. often at night he cursed himself for catching feelings for you when things were perfect just the way they were.
- but shinsou couldn't help it. you had treated him like a normal person and weren't apprehensive about his quirk. you gave him a taste of normalcy in his world of anxieties and judgement, and he craved more and more the more time he spent with you.
- so dispte wanting to desparately scream 'yes, i do love her' at the top of his lungs, he looked down at the ground, "no. . . i . . i don't."
- "liar."
- bakugo seethed behind him.
- shoving himself off the wall he was leaning on, bakugo walked closer and closer to shinsou as he spoke, "don't lie. we all see the way you look at them, the way your stupid face lights up with a small smile when they're with you or the airy chuckle you give when they do one of those stupid dances when they make food and-"
- "OK OK I GET IT!" shinsou snapped. mina jumped slightly in kirishima's arms and shinsou sent her a small apologetic look, "you know! I'm in love with them! i've been. . ." he trailed off before collapsing into a chair behind him, his head hanging back and staring into the bright flourescent lights hanging from the ceiling.
- "i've been trying to distance myself from them, to make getting over them easier."
- "they've been hurting, y'know."
- shinsou groaned and hid his face in his hands, "i know. you think i don't see the looks they give me when i avoid them in the halls? it hurts knowing i'm the reason they're in pain."
- "so why are you doing it?"
- "because they have you guys," shinsou sighed as it if we're the most obvious thing in the world, "you all could love them a lot more than i ever could alone. plus, they're so happy with you, i couldn't be the reason to disturb that."
- "you gotta be fucking kidding me." bakugo growled and pinched the bridge of his nose.
- kaminari snorted, "i think i just got deja vu."
- "you could say that again," mina sighed, "i'm heading back to the dorms, this is giving me a headache."
- with his arm still slung over her shoulder, kirishima agreed, "yeah, not sure how we didn't see this from the beginning. i'll walk you back, princess."
- shinsou only stared blankly as mina and kirishima left the room with kaminari in tow, complaining about getting some math work done. never in his life did he feel as confused as he did now
- lost. mans was lost..
- someone get him a map and help him please
- they acted as if they hadn't been the ones to literally kidnap him
- only to nonchalantly walk out the door?????
- sero's voice snapped him back to the remaining two people in the room, "you two really are a match made in heaven." sero smiled at him and shinsou felt head rise in his cheeks, whether it be from embarassment or something else, he didn't know.
- "i'll see you two around" and then he left, leaving shinsou alone with bakugo, who had yet to realease the bridge of his nose from his pinch.
- "you're both a pair of dumbasses."
- "i'm offended-"
- "y/n said the same fucking thing when we confronted them."
- shinsou stayed silent.
- "they felt like their presence would ruin the routine we had set a long time ago when we first started our relationship. . . sound familiar?"
- shinsou rubbed the back of his neck and opened his mouth to speak, but bakugo interrupted.
- "shut up, eye bags, i'm not finished."
- "i dIdNt eVEn sAy aNyTHiNg"
- "sure there were some things we had to adjust to include them in our schedule and a whole new bundle of emotions to incorporate into our lives; but the while point of a relationship is to open up slowly and learn to trust the ones you love. and eventually, we all learned to trust them the same way they learned to trust us; but trust isn't something you can learn over night. it's gradual."
- bakugo sighed, how in the hell did he get stuck in this situation again. at the very least no one got injured this time, "what I'm trying to say is, if y/n makes you happy, then we're all willing to let you in our relationship and put our trust in you.
- "will you put your trust in us?"
- how dramatic ˙ ͜ʟ˙
- so
- :) shinsou decides, fuck it. i deserve the good things in life, and he puts his trust in the squad the same way they all put their trust in him.
- and they decided it was a good time to surprise you too and kill two birds with one stone :)
- so you walk in to bakugo's dorm after a long day of school. you were returning from turning in your project with shinsou, and while the teacher had given you many compliments and basically secured your A, you still felt a bit sad knowing it would be the last time you would see shinsou since your schedules didn't collide and you had ended on a . . . confusing note.
- so you were just looking to cuddle with your lovers on a Friday night and wallow away in your sadness.
- when you walked in the group had been piled in their natural spots on bakugo's bed. mina was giggling with kaminari as they scrolled through tiktok, bakugo was reading a book you had reccomend to him a while a go, sero and kirishima were softly play fighting as they laughed and chuckled.
- everything was as it should be
- until you got to where your spot usually was, cradled between bakugo's warm and firm chest and mina's plush thighs and stomach, and it was occupied by someone else.
- everyone stopped what they were doing, as they watched a smile pull at your lips when you recognised the disheveled pruple hair lazily sprawled in your spot. everyone watched with bated breath as they waited for your reaction and small smiles of their own shining through as they watched your interaction.
- you lifted your hand and smacked shinsou's knee that had been raised up slightly as one of his arms lay behind his head and the other fiddled with a bracelet around mina's wrist, and his lips pulled into a lazy smirk of his own as he watched you.
- "get up, fat head, you're in my spot."
- his smirk only grew.
- "do something about it, hero."
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willynilly088 · 3 years
Text
We Could Fall In Love : William Nylander
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I haven't been on this site in a long time and I know there's a lot of Willy sluts out here that enjoy some Willy smut so anyways I wrote one.
Word count: 6.6K
Summary: Ella's best friend William Nylander convinces her to go on a mostly romantic getaway to Hawai'i with some of his teammates from the Maple Leafs and their partners. She's found herself falling for William recently and is scared that things might go wrong for their friendship if she tags along.
Warnings: Smut, some alcohol references, friends2lovers trope ahaha yo I'm weak for this man
Author's note: I haven't written fics in a long time, probably since high school so I'm open to any comments and feedback you have if you read this! The title is taken from a song called "Sunsets" by Druu.
"I don’t understand why you don’t want to come,” William whined. He threw his arms in the air and let them fall to his sides, slapping his thighs in frustration. “It’s Hawai’i. It’s a vacation!” You sighed, resting your elbows on the kitchen island at William’s place, and placed your head in your hands.
“Willy, everyone going is a couple,” you pointed out, probably for the 12th time since he first expressed interest in taking you on this trip with some of his teammates. “Wouldn’t you feel like a third wheel? I’d feel like a third wheel.” William had been asking you for weeks to go on this trip over the summer. The wives and girlfriends of his teammates from the Maple Leafs were spending a couple weeks on Maui together. Most of the older members of the team parted ways from the younger ones during the summer to go back to their hometowns and spend time with their families, and it was a decent sized group of couples that would be going along with William.
It sounded more like a romantic getaway for the rest of his group, which was a bigger deterrent than the positive aspect - which was that you’d be in Hawai’i. You had been good friends with William for a while but there was nothing romantic between you, although you’d often wished there was. Just as well, you didn’t really know his teammates or their spouses too well. William was single and did occasionally bring you to team functions as his plus one. Despite that, you never really had the opportunity to get to know them while you were all together. Most of the time you were with William at charity events so you had to mingle with donors or the donees.
“Who cares?”, William argued, and you raised your head to meet his stare. “I’d love for you to be there, Ella. If everyone else wants to be with their partners and lounge around the hotel, we can venture out and find things to do. It’s just going to be me on my own if you’re not there.” His blue eyes pierced you from across the kitchen, his pleading expression making your heart leap. How could you say no?
The truth is that you had begun to realize within the last year that you were attracted to William Nylander. Anyone looking from the outside could say you were even falling in love with him. After meeting William in Toronto during his time playing for the Marlies, the two of you became fast friends. He liked your company; he didn’t have to be ‘hockey player William Nylander’ around you. You didn’t fawn over him like the girls that saw him around the city. Hockey was his whole life but you gave him that separation between work and just being a kid. He had been living on his own in a big city for the first time which was stressful enough before you tack on the pressures of wanting to make an NHL roster. You were in the same scenario at the time, just having moved into Toronto for a new job, and you leaned on each other for support. William admittedly leaned on you as well for warm home-cooked meals, otherwise he would order takeout most days.
Over the years you basically became inseparable. It’s why William felt comfortable asking you to go with him to team events. He would have you over at his place to watch movies or play video games when he wasn’t at practice, games, on the road, or hanging out with his teammates. You would have him over at your place mostly to cook for him, or to pick his brain on projects for work, and watch TV or movies. He would also get you into his hockey games every so often, which was a nice perk. He was a balancing agent in your life, and you were sure he’d say the same about you.
So for you to accompany him on an otherwise romantic getaway made you feel awkward. You knew how you felt about William, but for as well as you knew him, you couldn’t read whether or not he might share those feelings for you. He proved a good point that you could get out of the hotel and adventure around the island. Would it really be that uncomfortable for you? Or were you just afraid of something happening between the two of you that would ruin your friendship? You definitely wanted to go to Hawai’i. There was no reason you should treat it any differently than just hanging out with William on any regular day. You could just push the romantic atmosphere aside.
“Alright, Willy,” you conceded. “I’ll come with you.” His expression turned to glee and it made a smile pull at the corners of your mouth. He walked around the island to where you stood and pulled you in for a hug, and he placed a hand on your head to ruffle your hair.
“Willy!”
“Thank you thank you thank you,” he sang, and you swatted him away to restore the top of your hair to how it looked before he touched it.
“Where are you all staying? I can book my hotel room.” Willy shook his head. You looked at him quizzically.
“I’ll take care of it, Ella,” he said. “You’ll be my guest.” Willy had gone through enough hassle trying to get you to come on this trip with him so you didn’t argue further.
The group had booked this trip very last-minute, since the team unfortunately did not progress in the Stanley Cup Playoffs past the second round. This longer offseason gave them some extra weeks to spend away on vacation. Due to the timeframe of accepting William’s request for you to join him, your packing and planning was even more last-minute. Fortunately William was still able to get you tickets on his flights. There were no seats around him, though, so it was a long travel day. You only got to see him during your layover in Vancouver before landing in Maui.
Kahului Airport greeted you into their open air terminal once you touched down. Warm breezes swept through the walkways as you and William reunited off the plane and caught up with Mitch Marner and his girlfriend Stephanie. The four of you traversed down to the baggage claim. Everyone else had been on a different connecting flight and would be meeting you at the hotel.
William already looked the part of a classic vacationer; he sported a yellow Hawaiian shirt with the top buttons undone, gray fabric shorts, and slides with white tube socks (which you made fun of him for). He did look good, however. You were a few strides behind him and enjoyed watching his long blonde hair flowing around his neck in the breezy walkway. Once you all had collected your bags, the four of you picked up a rental car and loaded up to head to the hotel. The drive wasn’t too long and it was nice to see the island where you’d be spending the next couple of weeks. You decided you were glad that you agreed to come as you absorbed the beauty around you.
Mitch pulled the car into the drive of the Four Seasons resort and a valet attendant assisted everyone with their luggage before taking the car. Stephanie and Mitch took their bags and rolled them into the lobby, but William stopped you before you could follow them in.
“Hey, Ella, hold on”, he said, reaching out and tugging on your arm gently. “Before we check in I just want to tell you something.”
“What is it?” You cocked your head, not sure whether or not to be concerned.
“So, I tried to book your hotel room after you said you’d come. It was so late in the game, uhh, so they didn’t have any rooms left. I had to add you into my room.” He looked apologetic and scratched the back of his neck nervously.
“Oh,” you responded softly. “I mean, I guess it’ll have to work. We’re already here.” Spending two weeks sharing a room with Willy? It was as much a dream as it was frightening. Willy smiled warmly and invited you to walk into the lobby with him. He had a twinkle in his eyes that you’d never noticed before.
You checked in and found your room down a twisting maze of hallways on the 5th floor. It was nice and spacious - a suite, you guessed - with contemporary decor and Hawaiian accents all around. There was music playing somewhere in the room, and you discovered that there was a music system in the bathroom that quietly piped in Hawaiian music. A glass door at the other end of the room opened up onto a balcony with full ocean views. It was absolutely beautiful.
“Alright, since you waited until the last second to come, you get the bed that pulls out of the sofa,” Willy sang when he threw his backpack on the ground next to his suitcase. You turned around to look in his direction. If you didn’t know Willy well enough you wouldn’t have thought he was joking. You could see just by the look on his face that he was trying to mess with you, but you wanted to play his game.
“No problem,” you chimed. “I’ll get it set up; I could use a nap right now after flying.” You dropped your bag on the end table and started pulling the cushions off the sofa.
“Wait wait wait, no,” William blurted, scrambling around an ottoman towards you. “I’m kidding, I’ll take the sofa bed. I owe you for coming here with me and, well, since I couldn’t get you your own room….”
“No, Willy, seriously. You paid for my whole trip. You take the regular bed.” William gave you a playfully stern look in response to your protest. He walked over to you then, placing both hands on your cheeks, and his blue eyes darted back and forth between yours, making your heart flutter.
“Ella, I am not asking. Take the nice bed.” He had a goofy grin plastered on his face. You lost the staring contest and dropped your eyes to his lips, then looked back up to his eyes. His smile faded but he still held a sparkle in his eyes. William dropped his hands from your face and, at a loss, wrapped his arms around your shoulders to hug you. When he let go he picked your bag up and carried it to the regular bed. You stood there watching him, dumbfounded. What just happened?
“There, it’s officially your bed,” William declared, placing your bag on top of the duvet. He turned around and looked your way, the same glimmer in his eyes but now mixed with confusion. He wasn’t good at masking that.
“We’ll have a discussion later,” you retorted. “Let’s go meet up with everyone else.”
The two of you left your room and walked back down to the reception area. Mitch and Stephanie were sitting at a table near the lobby bar, where Auston Matthews, Zach Hyman, Morgan Reilly, Alex Kerfoot, and their respective wives and girlfriends are joining them, having just arrived. William walked up to the guys to greet them, and gave all the women a hug. He turned to you.
“You guys remember Eleanor,” William asked, motioning from the group to you. Everyone smiled and the ladies walked up to hug you and reintroduce themselves.
“You can call me Ella,” you said. William’s teammates greeted you after.
“We’re so excited that you decided to join us,” exclaimed Zach’s wife Alannah. “William was really convinced that he wasn’t going to have any fun without you here.” Everyone chuckled at her playful jab at William’s many pleas for you to go with him on this trip. William blushed across the way, laughing and placing his hand on his forehead.
You all stayed and chatted briefly, before deciding to split back to your rooms. The majority of the group still needed to put their belongings in their rooms, and you were all needing to freshen up to go have dinner at one of the restaurants in the resort. Upon returning to your room with Willy, you decided you would take a shower to wash the dirty airplane feeling off of you. Once you were done, Willy gave you the main room and he took a shower. He emerged shortly after from the bathroom. You had changed into a dress for the evening and you sat at the vanity table by the closet, letting your hair dry while you put on some makeup. In the reflection of the vanity mirror, you saw William walk behind you shirtless, with his white bath towel wrapped around his hips. Your breath hitched in your throat. The towel was just barely secured around him.
“I forgot to grab my clothes,” he uttered. He grabbed the edge of the towel to hold it up and returned into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. You had to lower your mascara wand back into the base, and you took a deep breath. This was going to be more difficult than you thought.
Dinner was nice that evening. The restaurant was set up oceanside and the sun set just over the horizon during the meal. You enjoyed the company of the group. It was great to get to know them better since in the past you hadn’t really had the chance when William had brought you places with him. Much of the discussion was over what everyone was planning on doing throughout the two weeks there. Some had planned to drive the Road to Hana together, others to go out on a catamaran, or to drive to a town called Lahaina. They also wanted to spend a lot of time relaxing at the hotel, catching sun by the pool or down on the beach. Everyone continued their conversations as you made your way back into the lounge area by the lobby, bringing what was left of glasses of wine and cocktails with you, before dispersing back to your rooms. Rest was much needed after the long day of traveling, and the alcohol was definitely making everyone drowsy as well.
Willy changed into lounge clothes to sleep in, and you were glad you actually brought clothes to sleep in since you weren’t expecting to be rooming with William on vacation. You changed in the bathroom and then let William in so he could brush his teeth while you did your skincare at the dual sink vanity. The faint sound of ukulele music still played in the bathroom; you wondered if it ever turned off, but it was so serene to listen to. You exited the bathroom and climbed under the covers of the main bed (Willy wouldn’t hear another word about it when you got back), and sighed, thinking about the exchange you had in the room with him earlier that afternoon. The way he looked at you when he held your face - was he thinking the same things you were? Or were you looking too deeply into it? He had always been close with you and touchy-feely, but this time it felt different.
Willy retreated from the bathroom and meandered over you in your bed, reaching for the wall lamp next to you that was still on.
“You good?” You looked up at him and nodded. He flicked the switch and the light went off, leaving only the floor lamp next to his bed lit. “Goodnight, Ella.”
“Goodnight, Willy.”
—————————————————————
The first week had passed, and you and Willy had stayed active throughout. Most everyone else had resorted to hanging around the hotel much of that time, but you had already gone snorkeling around the Molokini Crater, driven with your whole group to a tourist town called Lahaina, into lush green mountains of Iao Valley, and to the local pineapple plantation. You had taken the rental car yourselves on a drive up to another town called Paia the day before today, where you strolled through the quaint town, shopped, and beach hopped. There was an ice cream shop up there with homemade ice cream and shave ice, and it was quite refreshing and enjoyable, especially with Willy’s company. One of the beaches you stopped at had several sea turtles in the sand, sunbathing, and you spent some time swimming in the ocean after you watched them for a bit.
You both decided just to take it easy, not only because you had been on the go so much already, but you didn’t want to run out of things to do before the trip was even over. Your adventures with Willy had you thinking less about that first afternoon here and more acting like your usual self around him. It admittedly was hard sometimes, since Willy continued to come out of the bathroom each night after showering with just his towel tied around his waist.
Mitch and Stephanie joined the two of you on the beach at the resort after their catamaran trip that day. They swam with you in the ocean for a bit before deciding they needed a break from the sun, leaving you and William alone. Because of some of the other couple’s excursions that day happening at different times, everyone decided to be on their own for dinner that night.
“You wanna try that Wolfgang Puck restaurant that’s here - what’s it called, Spago?”, Willy asked. He propped himself up on his towel with his elbow and hovered over you as you laid on your back. Some of his hair had dried in the sun and blew across his face from a breeze.
“I’m fine with anything,” you responded. “Even if we just chilled and got the poolside service on the upper level, that’d be alright.”
“Come on Ella, there’s all this great food around and you want to eat at a pool?”, William teased, reaching out to poke your arm. “That’s what we did at lunch. Let’s do something nice!”
“What time is it?” You stayed down on your back and fumbled around with your hands to try to reach for your phone.
“It’s already 4:45,” he answered before you could look at the time on your lock screen.
“Well then we better go get ready.” William leapt up from his towel and leaned forward, offering his hand to help you up from the ground. You picked up your beach bag and Willy collected your towels out of the sand before going back to the room.
Each of you took turns showering, washing clean of the sunblock, sweat, and sea salt that you’d been saturating in for hours. You dressed while Willy was showering, putting on a breezy yellow wrap dress that you picked up the day before in Paia from a local designer. You started on your makeup and Willy, of course, exited the bathroom with just the towel on his waist. His back was turned to you as he rummaged in his closet to find the clothes he was going to wear tonight, and you couldn’t help but stare as his toned back and arms shuffled around the contents of the closet. Once he selected his shirt and pants, you saw him beginning to turn around and come back this way, so you scrambled to get back to applying your eyeliner. He looked at your reflection in the mirror on his way through and caught your eyes, which in turn left a grin pulling at the corners of his mouth.
“You look be- you look great, Ella,” Willy expressed when you both were finally ready to go. You both stood inside the doorway of your room. His wide eyes drank you in like water before he cleared his throat and straightened his shirt collar. Was he - was he nervous? It was just the two of you for dinner at a nice restaurant (at his suggestion, you remembered) overlooking the water in a tropical paradise. You were good friends though, why did he sound nervous?
“You look very nice yourself, Willy. You always clean up well.” He chuckled, turning rosy, and opened the door of the room, ushering you out. “Let’s go, Romeo.”
The restaurant was great. You enjoyed the variety of Hawaiian-influenced cuisine. Most of the dishes you ordered you shared, so you could try a little bit of everything. William was a big fan of the poke while you leaned towards the roasted puna chicken. Between trying bites of food, the conversation stayed casual, discussing more of what was upcoming on your vacation radar, your job, and what Willy was planning to do the rest of the summer when he would go back to his family in Sweden until training camp. He picked up the bill once you could eat no more and he walked with you out of the restaurant.
“Let’s go for a walk,” you suggested as you passed a walkway out to the gardens. William nodded and followed you out onto the path through the foliage. The air had cooled down and there were a few gusts blowing around. The sounds of the surf surrounded your chatter.
“Thank you again, for coming here with me,” William remarked. “I know what you meant about feeling like a third wheel when you were expressing your drawbacks; I definitely would have felt that way if it was just me here with everyone else. They are my teammates but they probably wanted some quiet time away from me.” He laughed softly and you smiled to yourself, looking onward at the walkway.
“I’m glad I came,” you admitted. “Thank you for pushing me to come, Willy. I’ve enjoyed myself so far. Sorry I didn’t agree sooner. You’re not the worst roommate I’ve ever had.”
“Hey, I think I’m a pretty great roommate,” Willy retorted with confidence. “You might even say, perfect.” You swatted William’s arm.
“Maybe if someone didn’t walk half-naked around the room all the time,” you teased, turning to him with your brow raised.
“Ugh,” he interjected. “I work very hard for this body, someone’s gotta see it.” He looked down at you and winked.
“Well I appreciate that, I guess,” you said, giggling. There was a brief pause. “What should we plan for tomorrow?”
By now you reached the end of the path, which met the beach. You stopped and grabbed William’s forearm to balance so you could take off your heels. The sand would feel nice now that it was cool and you also didn’t want your heel to sink down in the sand with every step. You and William walked together on the length of the beach towards the rocks at the end, trying to reach an agreement on what to do the next day.
Out of the dark sky, a few random raindrops started to fall, and before you realized it was rain, a stronger shower began to come down on you. You yelped with surprise, and William took your hand, leading you towards the stone retaining wall where the beach began, and tried to take cover under a set of leafy plants that hung over the side. William was laughing, as the plants weren’t making a great umbrella. He looked down at you and drew up his hand to lift some strands of hair that had stuck to your face from getting wet. The joyful smile on his face faded into a softer expression as he continued to leave his gaze on you.
In the darkness, his face was only illuminated slightly from the reflection of the resort lights atop the retaining wall. As had happened on your arrival into your shared room, his eyes bore into yours, flitting back and forth between them. William shifted the last piece of wet hair from your face before resting the palm of his hand flush on your cheek. The leaves above you splattered water droplets onto the two of you as you stood together, frozen, rain cascading down your foreheads. Your eyes once again dropped to his lips and back up. William waited for you to pull back; you didn’t. That was his cue to close the space between your faces.
William’s warm lips were like fire against yours, which were cold and wet. Upon the first touch a shiver ripped through your body, which could have also been attributed to the chill of the rain seeping through your skin, but you were convinced it had to be from William’s kiss. He lingered there on your mouth for a moment and then pulled away. Both of you opened your eyes and stared wide-eyed at each other, William’s hand still cupping your cheek before you made the next move. You dropped your shoes, and brought your hands up to drape one on the back of his neck and one on his cheek to pull him back into you.
However a kiss could be both tender and hungry, that was what William’s was. Your fingers combed up his neck into his long hair and you pushed deeper into his lips, not feeling close enough to him already. William dropped his hand and wrapped one arm around to your back, the other rested on your side just under your arm. Inside, your stomach leapt and twisted at the addition of both of his hands on you. His touch was confident and he molded into your body like he was always meant to be there. You remembered you needed to breathe and ended the kiss, looking back up at him.
“That was…I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” William whispered with a soft smile, and he collected his breath. He swept your wet hair behind your shoulder. You tilted your head towards him, and he placed a delicate kiss between your eyebrows just as the rain subsided. You picked your head up yet again to meet his gaze.
“You have no idea,” you replied quietly. Neither of you could seem to move for a few minutes. You weren’t sure if more rain would be coming in though, so you picked up your shoes, tangled your fingers in William’s hand, and pulled him back up the path into the hotel. He pressed the call button for the elevator as soon as you approached it and the doors opened. The elevator whisked you away to your floor and this time William lead the way, winding through the hallway back to your room.
You couldn’t take your eyes off him as he opened the door for you, and he quietly closed the door after following you in. Stepping swiftly to you, William wasted no time closing the gap between your bodies. His lips were pressed on yours once again and he pushed you gently up against the wall, grabbing your midsection and resting his hands just at the base of your breasts. It sent shockwaves through your body. You cradled his face in your hands to keep him right where he was before trailing them down his chest. William moaned into your mouth, pulling your torso flush against his in response. A chill from your wet clothes quickly turned into heat from your touching bodies. Your lips continued devour him until you couldn’t breathe anymore. When you tilted your head back to inhale, William placed kisses around your chin and neck. There was some pressure coming from underneath your breasts as you found him lifting you up in the air.
William carried you over to your bed, with your arms wrapped around his neck, and set you back down on your feet. Your lips reconnected and William’s hands roamed your body until he found the tie that held your dress together. He plucked the knot open and you gasped when you felt the fabric loosen around you. The dress clung slightly, damp yet from the rain before. William pulled back from you, meeting your eyes with concern.
“Ella, I’m sorry,” he panted. “We don’t have to-”
“No, Will, it’s okay,” you responded between your own breaths. “I want you to touch me. I want you.” His concerned expression faded and hardened with desire, and before you knew it his hands had slipped underneath the fabric of your dress, and his mouth returned to its place on yours. William was locked into the feel of your bare skin, touching some of the most delicate parts of yourself that you had often fantasized about before. Your arms fell and you froze in his passionate attention to every detail of your body. He peeled the damp cloth of your dress off of you, and you wriggled your arms to shed it onto the floor. That left you standing there in your panties.
To level the playing field, you felt around for the buttons on his shirt and hastily began ripping them from their holes. You were about halfway down when William gave you some assistance unbuttoning the rest and throwing the shirt from his arms. Your hands began skating around his toned chest, which was slightly dewy from the rain, and you could feel goosebumps where your hands had already traveled on him. William broke the kiss and stepped back.
“Sit down.” His words weren’t commanding coming out of his mouth; you knew he wanted to keep going further and so you sat on the edge of the bed in anticipation. He unbuttoned his shorts and slid them off, kicking off his shoes in the same motion. Coming forward toward you again, he lifted you from your sides and pushed you a little further onto the bed, laying you on your back. William hovered over you, propped up on his hands, and straddled you on his knees. You watched his eyes move up and down the length of your body. He was mesmerized.
“You’re so beautiful,” William breathed. His hand stroked your cheek, and you cupped your hand on top of his, leading it down to graze the top of your breast. He plunged his head down into the crook of your neck and began trailing kisses down your neck, your chest, your stomach. You stopped breathing for a second when he reached your panties and toyed with the hem. Pulling down ever so gently, the fabric started to slide down your hips and you lifted your waist up off the bed. William crawled backwards just enough to delicately free your legs of the garment and tossed it on the floor. Propping yourself up on your elbows, you watched William put a hand on each of your ankles and slide them up your legs, taking in the sight of you - this time, all of you - again. His fingers fluttered over your center and he closed in to kiss you softly on the lips.
Still resting his hands at the top of your thighs, William slowly pushed your legs open. He hadn’t even fully touched you there yet but you felt your core throbbing. Drawing his thumb down your center was enough for you to moan his name before he lowered his face between your thighs.
“Baby, you’re so wet,” he spoke softly. Baby. William’s blue eyes looked up at you and he stuck his tongue between your folds. When he began sucking and teething on you, you gasped, throwing your head back and reaching out to grab a fistful of his hair. His hands slid up and held you down at your stomach as he felt your hips starting to rock. Leading you to orgasm, he slipped two fingers inside of you. He slid them in and out, and your breathing sped up. You started to cry out William’s name when he curled his fingers inside of you and you erupted underneath him.
William got up and removed the last piece of his clothing, his underwear, and climbed back on the bed. You sat up and kissed him, taking his cock in your hand and pumping it. That startled him it seemed, as he froze in the kiss and you heard him breathe in sharply. You pushed his chest to make him fall gently onto his back. Getting on all fours, you held his member and licked a stripe up from the base to the tip of him, and his body trembled when you took him into your mouth. William was sensitive, breathing rapidly and moaning with almost every mouthful you took of him, pumping with your hand at the same time.
“Fuck, Ella,” he breathed. You had gotten him close to his climax but he decided he couldn’t wait any longer to be in you. William flipped you onto your back again, got up and walked to his side of the closet. You heard a plastic package tear and then he was climbing on top of you again. He positioned himself at your entrance, rolling his cock up and down your center. William was gazing down at you, taking his time almost as if to make sure that you weren’t going to change your mind and have him stop.
The next thing you felt was William burying himself in you, stretching you open, and the pleasure seared through you. He thrusted a few times and leaned down over you. Placing his lips on yours, he slid his arms underneath you and held you as he kept up his pace. The feeling of being close to each other was something you both craved. There was something so tender and intimate about the way he held you close to him as he fucked you. You cried out, wrapping your arms around his neck and feeling the raw passion William exuded. You wished you’d known this William a long time ago.
“Will, you feel so good,” you panted. Your fingers dug into his back the closer you came to reaching your limit. William’s breath picked up again along with the rate of his thrusts. He crashed his lips onto yours one final time before his face dropped beside yours, whimpering into your ear. You began to yell out his name again as you reached your height, tensing and shaking, feeling yourself tighten around his cock. That was everything he needed to let go himself, gasping and moaning as he pressed his body into you. He dropped and rolled over to his side, pulling you with him.
With legs tangled together, you held each other closely. You flipped your free leg over his side. William had not taken himself out of you, and you could still feel him as you came down from your high. Both of you pressed against each other, chests rising and falling as you caught your breath. You buried your head into the crook of William’s neck. He pressed his lips into your hair and his fingers floated around your back, his feathery touch sending shivers all over. Shifting yourself backwards, you caught William’s lips in a soft kiss before resting your head. You were silent, and he reached out to push your hair back behind your ear. A smile tugged every so subtly at the corners of his mouth. It reflected in his eyes as he laid in front of you, still taking the sight of you in.
“What are you thinking about?”, you whispered. Willy’s smile got wider but he shook his head.
“I’m not,” he said in a low volume. “I’m trying to make sure you’re real.”
“Willy, I can see the gears turning up there,” you responded, your eyes looking up to his forehead. “What are you thinking?”
Suddenly he sat himself up, finally removing his softened member from you. He scooted off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. You turned and laid on your back, moving up onto the pillows behind you so you could lounge. The water ran in the sink and William came back out with a damp cloth for you. He climbed over you and pushed your legs apart again to clean you up. He left the bed again, only stopping in the bathroom entry to toss the cloth away. When he got back on the bed he motioned for you to sit up and move forward. He sat on the bed behind you, putting you in between his legs to lean back against him. His arms slithered around your midsection, folding his hands together over your stomach, and he placed a kiss on your temple. You began to pick at his hands until he unknotted them, so you could play with each of his fingers.
“I was thinking about you. I think about you,” William said, breaking the comfortable stillness flooding the air. You stayed silent, for the first time not knowing how to talk to Willy despite knowing how you felt about him. “You…and the thought of you consumes me, Ella. Everything I do, everywhere I go. I hear your voice. I see your face. When I’m not around you, it’s you I want to come back to.
“It looks like I have everything on the outside. I have a career doing the one thing I wanted to do the most since I was a kid, I have enough money to do whatever I want, I live in a great city. Ever since I met you, I knew you were the piece I was missing.” William tipped his head forward against yours and sighed. “I never felt like I could tell you because I felt like I was just your goofy, dorky best friend Willy. I didn’t want to make the wrong move and lose you.” You sat up and, turning sideways, you leaned against his folded leg that was propped up. Love and pain clouded his misty blue eyes now. Here you were sitting with him, naked in bed, and you knew he felt more vulnerable now than ever.
“William, you could never lose me,” you reassured him quietly. “I love what we’ve built in the time that I’ve known you. I can’t say I have felt any differently about you, and for the same reasons I haven’t spoken about it with you. I didn’t want to come on this trip not because of the other couples, but because I thought something might happen between us and turn out, well, badly.” William had dropped his eyes and was drawing patterns on your bare leg with his fingers.
“I think I’m in love with you, and I’d like the opportunity to fall in love with you. Properly. Wholly. If that’s what you want, too.” William returned his eyes to your face, appearing much softer this time, after you finished speaking. He leaned forward and pressed his lips on yours. This kiss wasn’t the first one you had shared tonight, but it was the first one that was full and confident and possessive. You pulled back again from each other, breathless.
“So is that a yes?”, you asked. William’s face wrinkled with absolute joy.
“I think you know,” he replied, taking your hand and intertwining his fingers in it.
“I think I know what we’re doing tomorrow now,” you said wittingly. William let out a hearty laugh and pulled you into him again, kissing your hair. He laid down and you followed suit, your back to his front and his arm draped around you, resting just below your breasts. For the first time, you fell asleep in the arms of your best friend; the one you wanted to fall asleep with forever.
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bbugyu · 3 years
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if you wanted to go to the moon, he would take you there.
plot twist | crash zoom | happy ending
16.1k (lol) | joshua x afab enby!reader, fluff, humor, suggestive, reader is ace lol, youtuber au, chef au, swearing, drinking, detailed descriptions of meals, mentions of past trauma including sexual assault, i swear it's not that deep, lots of implied sex but none on screen (yet), watching movies and playing video games, yes i am trying to set up all my friends, would anyone get it if i said r&r
welcome to part two of classic!! please enjoy this tooth rotting relationship garbo in which i basically announce to the world that i have a disgusting crush on joshua. posting this later than intended but i started working five tens so i'm 😅 a little tired lol. but joshua makes it ok <3
when you mentioned offhandedly that you had never had bibimbap in jeonju, joshua practically dropped the groceries he was helping you bring up the elevator.
"how long have you been in korea?" he asked.
you looked at him, wide eyed. "four years?"
he squinted at you, jutting his jaw out. "and you've never gone to jeonju? it's, like, the food hub of korea. how the hell?"
"i…" you laughed, exiting the elevator when the doors opened. "i don't know? it's never been top priority, i guess?"
"okay, well it is now," he stated plainly, following you to your door while you adjusted your bags in your hands to punch in the code. as soon as the groceries were safely on your counter, he pulled out his phone. "friday to sunday?"
you looked up from the vegetables in your hands. "what?"
he looked at you. "we're going. this weekend? i need to reserve the ktx tickets."
you laughed. "this weekend? joshua, it's wednesday."
"okay, next weekend?"
you stared at him a second, purely because you were in disbelief. "no, i have a demonstration next saturday."
he exhaled, looking at the calendar on his phone. "okay, and jamie's birthday party is the weekend after, so," he paused, looking at you through his lashes. "this weekend?"
you pushed your hands onto the counter and sighed heavily. "when would we leave?"
he grinned, knowing that meant he had won you over. "after i get off work? i can be here by 3:30."
"how long is the train?"
"uhh," he quickly searched for the tickets. "two hours. less than. we can buy snacks for the ride and have dinner when we get there."
you chewed your lip. "i have to edit on sunday, so we can't stay all day."
he nodded, inspecting the time table for tickets. "stay two nights, leave after breakfast?"
you considered that for a second. "i could bring my laptop and export footage on the train."
a smile crept across his face when you puffed out your cheeks in thought. "is that a yes?"
your cheeks deflated as you exhaled. "fine."
"yeah?" joshua grinned at you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and tugging you into his chest. "jeonju this weekend?"
you exhaled again, your arms reluctantly winding around his torso. "yeah. jeonju this weekend."
"you're gonna love it," he said, pressing his lips against your temple. "i helped on an article about hole in the wall finds there years ago, so i know all the good spots."
you giggled, pulling away to look at him with a quirked eyebrow. "you used to write for the magazine?"
he shook his head at you. "when i was interning."
"aw," you poked at his cheek. "intern joshie?"
he rolled his eyes, separating himself from you as you giggled, and he looked at you slyly from the corner of his eye. "joshie?"
you grinned, reaching out to pinch his cheeks. "joshie!"
he laughed and batted away your hands. "joshie?"
you: i think i'm finally packed
joshie: i don't understand why it was so difficult when we're going for Two Days.
you: 😡
joshie: 😘
as promised, he arrived at your apartment in a cab and stubbornly took your roller suitcase despite your insistence that you could handle it. joshua was always doing things like this - for you, you imagined, he would probably even lay down his jacket in a puddle so you wouldn't have to walk through it. but at the same time, he wouldn't fault you for kicking his jacket aside and purposefully jumping in it instead. he would probably join you, even.
he had joked with you that this would be like a work trip for you, but only because he was the one that suggested you film - plus, he reminded you, filming a full video this weekend meant that you didn't have to film next week. and to be perfectly frank, you wanted the break. if you could have a weekend getaway with joshua and then a week long break to have a normal routine without a camera, it was a win-win.
equipped with coffee and cafe sandwiches, you casually kicked your feet and happily sipped at your americano as you edited a picture of it for your instagram story. joshua sat beside you, also doing something on his phone, and you watched him with no intention as he pulled his airpods out of his coat jacket and offered one to you. you looked at him, smiling when he gestured with the open case again.
"i made a playlist," he said quietly as you put the airpod into your ear. he took the one you left and did the same, tapping on his phone.
the thought of joshua hearing a song and thinking of you making your chest flutter to life, the heat rising through you until you were left in a comfortable glow, smiling softly at him as a melody started in your ear. he looked back at you, double taking slightly when he realized you were looking at him.
"what's that look for?" he asked, a sideways grin breaking his face in half.
you shook your head, unable to change your face. "that's, just... really nice."
"making a playlist?" he hummed, settling back in his seat as you stuck your straw between your lips. "i didn't consciously do it. i just started a list of songs to show you because i thought you would like them, and this ended up being a good time to share it."
you sighed dramatically, falling back against the window of the train. "that's even nicer, you dickhead!" he laughed, shushing you and looking around, worried someone might have understood your slightly-above-inside-voice exclamation. "i know for a fact i didn't do anything to deserve the sweetest, handsomest, loveliest boyfriend on the planet, so what's the catch, mr. hong?"
his eyes went to the ceiling as he thought, kneading his lips once before saying, "i think you forgot funniest, too."
"ah," you said, a dry chuckle following the realization. "that's the catch."
"hey!" he laughed, eyes big as he pretended to be offended. "i know i'm funny!"
you giggled with him, mentally noting that you liked the song that he was playing. that he must have somehow picked up on why you liked the music you did. you thought about how you had the same thought, sometimes, when you were listening to music alone in your room and a song popped up on your discovery that sounded like something he would listen to. how you would immediately text them to him, knowing you would forget if you didn't send it right away, and he would react with some assortment of positive emojis. how he must have been doing the same thing, but wanted to be there when you heard them, and didn't have the same flighty memory as you. you brought your straw to your lips again, staring after him as he adjusted something in his bag, taking too long to refocus your attention to story you had been trying to post.
he later nudged you, getting your attention as you responded to an email on your phone, gesturing his finger with the melody, and you gave him a childlike look of awe, as if to tell him that yes, you agreed, this was exactly the kind of run you really enjoyed. he pounded a fist against his knee at the beats, pointing up at the key change, and you exploded into a stifled laugh, your palm covering your mouth. he laughed with you before he showed you the now playing page on his phone, holding it open dutifully as you quickly searched for it to add to your own library.
as promised, joshua provided great insight for the food tour the two of you set out on. travel day, he had told you, meant that you would have something easy - bibimbap and makgeolli at two of the best places he knew, apparently. by the time you made it back to the hotel room you had checked into before headed to the bar, you just about collapsed onto the queen bed.
"i'm so full," you exhaled, eyes dancing across the ceiling. "i'm never gonna move again."
joshua just laughed at you, toeing both of your shoes aside at the door before shuffling into slippers. "we have a full day of eating tomorrow, so you better move."
you let our a breathy laugh, rolling your head to watch as he flopped onto the bed beside you. "i'm glad you also plan trips around the meals."
he gave you a puzzled look. "is there another way to plan a trip?"
you rolled onto your side, tucking your arm under your head to look at him. "some people like sightseeing. or activities."
his brows were still ruffled in confusion as he looked away from you. "i like looking at food. and the activity of eating food."
you giggled, and his face finally broke to reveal the bewilderment had been a bit all along, his smiling laugh meeting yours.
you walked a lot the next day, and you were grateful for the light exercise to help your digestion a bit between meals. the local famous kalguksu for breakfast, a visit to a cafe for coffee before walking down a historical street together. you filmed with a smile on your face, shaking your americano for camera with a colorful background, just for you to pull down the drink and let the beautiful buildings and trees take the focus.
joshua could watch you forever, he was pretty sure. watching you conceptualise what you wanted this out of the ordinary video to look like, seeing the way you managed to be present with him, joking and giggling on your scenic walk, but squeezed his hand in warning before letting go, telling him quietly you wanted to get a shot. he had seen the way you filmed food, and how you filmed your kitchen, which was incredible in its own right, but this was the first time he got to see your process on the fly. when you went to work, as it were, taking in your scenery and deciding the way you wanted to portray it - more thought went into this than filming at the same barbeque restaurant for the fifth time, but joshua saw the similarities in the way your eyes twinkled when you saw something through your camera lens for the first time, even if only the first time that day. the way you would review the footage quickly, smiling at the way it turned out, but announcing that you were taking a second shot for safety.
then, he took you to another restaurant.
you barely noticed the passage of time, but when he conveniently "happened" upon the next stop on your food tour, you were pretty sure your stomach growled at the thought of eating an insane amount of dumplings, and you smiled at him in a way that made him want to cause it constantly.
if having your pick at dumplings was enough to make you giddy like a child, the night market was life altering. the food stalls were set up like they always were friday and saturday nights, joshua told you, and that meant you got to experience korean street food in a way you hadn't yet. you found the best pad thai you had ever eaten, succumbed to the tempting smell of grilled squid when passing a busy stall, and you even got served alcohol practically in passing, the specialty liquor being offered in a way that was hard for either of you to say no to. after a few too many, you had to stop joshua before he dragged you to a choco pie stall.
"we should eat more first," you said, gesturing to a woman making hashbrowns on a griddle. "while we have free hands. loop back around for dessert and buy some for the road."
joshua tapped his nose, then wagged his finger at you. "smart and hot."
you laughed, pulling him towards the hashbrown stall.
that night, you laid in bed beside each other, talking like you hadn't just spent literally the entire day together. recalling highlights of the day, sharing related anecdotes with assorted friends and family. you didn't even want to sleep - your body did, sure, clearly, by the way it kept interrupting your conversation with yawns. joshua would laugh, then yawn in response, and tell you that you should sleep. you would shake your head, a pout on your lips, and he would just smile and keep talking about whatever the yawn had interrupted.
being in bed with joshua wasn't demanding, nor was it uncomfortable, and you were pretty sure that meant something good.
you were making curry. he had mentioned that it looked good while you were watching some show the week prior and you couldn't get it out of your head. so, even though it was midsummer and far too warm for something as hearty as japanese curry, you decided you needed to make it anyway, if only for your own peace of mind. you invited joshua over to cook dinner for him, and he asked where your camera was when he arrived with your requested potatoes (you had some, except they were older than you thought and started sprouting), but you told him you weren't filming tonight.
"this ones for us," you said matter of factly, giggling when he looked shocked. "i don't film every meal, y'know. sometimes i cook things just for me."
he watched you dump the potatoes into the sink to wash. "what if it ends up being really pretty?"
"josh," you said, looking at him. "i don't make things that aren't pretty."
he asked if you needed help with anything, but you just shook your head and told him to relax. that you had made this a million times, and that you could do it with your eyes closed. he asked again if you were sure, and you laughed, scrubbing potatoes and using your shoulder to get your hair out of your face.
"actually," you said, raising the wrist on which you kept a hair tie. "do you know how? my hands are wet."
joshua smiled and nodded, coming over and pulling the tie off your wrist, careful to not get it too wet on your hand. "how high?"
"ariana," you said, making him laugh as you giggled. "as high as you can manage, but i don't really care."
he just smiled, taking your hair in his hands as you washed the potatoes one by one, and you tried to ignore the way you heart skipped a beat when you felt his touch drift across the back of your neck. he gently gathered it all in one palm at the crown of your skull, brushing through it with his fingers. "here?"
"perfect," you said, chewing your cheek and smiling. he pulled the band over your hair, tying it off tightly and pulled at the hair gently to keep it in place.
his hands glided over your waist, leading his arms to wrap around you as his chin landed on your shoulder. "not too tight?"
you shook your head, smiling. "you're multi talented."
"i have a sister," he reminded you, then put a kiss on your cheek.
you managed to convince him to sit at the counter, and he smiled and laughed with you as you conversed about anything that came to mind. he talked about his latest work antics, and you told him about a café you found the day before that you really enjoyed. he watched you skillfully chop vegetables and prepare chicken, flitting around your kitchen with a familiarity that could only be fostered by time. he glanced at the time on his phone, then looked at the door behind him that led to a bedroom.
"is karol here?" he asked. she normally would have emerged to say hi by now.
you looked at him before going back to pan frying the chicken. "no, she's in busan this weekend with some friends. she'll be back sunday night."
an alarm went off in joshua's head, and he tried not to think too deeply about the fact that you had invited him over while your roommate was away. sex hadn't even been a discussion on the table yet, but not because joshua didn't want it - because, frankly, he wanted it - he was just more concerned about you and your wants. for most things, he felt as though he had learned your thoughts and opinions naturally over the last few months, but outside of a few passing jokes, you hadn't ever mentioned how you felt about sex in general, much less sex with him.
so he stared at you, suddenly unable to ignore the fact that you were wearing shorts because of the weather, but they were hidden under the hem of the neutral toned apron he saw in your videos every week. or the way you smiled at him as you talked, your eyes glinting with mischief when you made a joke at his expense, but only made him laugh and want you more. he stood and came around the island, standing with his hip against the counter as the two of you continued conversing and you added the roux cubes to the pot.
his eyes never left you or your actions, and you noticed the way he inched towards you as your cooking became less involved and began to wrap up. you didn't argue when he put his arms around you again, watching you stir the curry with his cheek against your ear. he wasn't in your way, not even when you reached over to pull a spoon out of a drawer to give it a taste and make sure the seasonings were right, so you instead just enjoyed his presence.
you hummed, licking your lips briefly as you appraised the flavor. "not bad," you said, using the ladle you had been cooking with to pour more into the spoon you had just used to taste. you blew on it, then displayed it for joshua, who looked at you in his peripherals before accepting the bite.
"oh, wow," he said, making you giggle as you put the spoon aside. "that's better than a restaurant."
"thanks," you said, tapping the ladle on the side of pot to get the excess back in the pot, a spot of sauce landing on the back of your hand. you put it on the spoon rest next to your stovetop and replaced the lid on the pot of curry, quickly turning the burner to low. "now we just wait for the rice to pop," you said, spinning in his grip and licking the spot off the back of your hand.
joshua stared at you, desperately wishing in that moment that he wasn't such a damn man, because it was clear in your eyes that it was a completely innocent action. you got some of the delicious sauce on your hand, so why would you wipe it off when a towel wouldn't appreciate it like your tongue would? you wouldn't, obviously. he wouldn't have, either, if it had been his hand. but here he was, gaze fixed on your mouth as you pulled your hand away from it, and one of your eyebrows raised when you noticed.
"can i help you?" you asked, glancing down at his lips when he involuntarily leaned into you.
"i-" he swallowed. "sorry, i'm just-"
in that moment, you registered what his gaze meant. and while you were fairly oblivious to most things, you were far from innocent, so you put your arms over his shoulders and knit your fingers in his hair. "you're just?" you prompted.
there was a chuckle on his lips as he backed you against the counter, and he shook his head lightly. "i just think it's insane how into you i am."
joshua had this way of kissing you that made you think his life depended on it. he kissed you like you were in the final scene of an apocalyptic movie and he had come to terms with the fact that this was the end. like he knew that if your lips left his, he would magically disappear before he could tell you how much you meant to him. like he could stop time as long as he had you pressed against him with his hand on your jaw, but the sun was setting and he wasn’t ready to say good night.
when he finally pulled away from you, you were trying to catch your breath as his hands ran down your waist, and you stared into his eyes. his lips were parted, and his fingers gripped at your hips in a way that you knew meant he wished there were less layers between your skin.
your mind raced, thinking quickly back to how long the two of you had been seeing each other. how long you had known that you were interested in keeping joshua around for the long term. you wracked your brain, thinking about when people normally took the next step at your age, finding a discrepancy in the timing. you had made him wait for so long, but this was the first time you had noticed him trying to bed you - though, this was hardly subtle, so perhaps you had missed signs earlier? hell, the two of you had even shared a bed at this point, but you were pretty sure he hadn't tried anything then, either. you considered the fact that this relationship had gone for over two months without so much as a hint to take the next logical step, and you decided that joshua was definitely the only guy you had met in years that you would be willing to allow under your covers.
"the curry can sit for," you started, blinking rapidly as your mouth caught up to your mind. you swallowed once. "well, until tomorrow, technically, but-"
joshua's lip quirked upward. "did you invite me over to have me stay the night?"
"not-" you exhaled. his tone was slightly accusatory, but only playfully, and you found yourself more flustered by the question than you would have liked. "not consciously, but…" your eyes studied his face. "do you want to?"
"are you kidding?" he asked, making you breathe out a laugh, his forehead landing on yours. "did you not hear me when i said i was insanely into you?"
the rice cooker beeped, drawing both of your attention as it sang out a small tune to alert you it was finished. you looked at joshua. "are you hungry?"
he looked back at you, a smile sneaking on his lips. "i mean, working up an appetite wouldn't hurt, right?"
he let you lead him to your bedroom, which he had only been in once, briefly, when he had helped you put some lights away. the two of you admittedly spent most of your time in kitchens or restaurants, the remainder of your alone time being split between joshua's car and a couch to watch a movie, but joshua thought your taste suited his as he glanced around again, and that he would happily lose time in bedrooms with you. you kissed him again, and he was quick to pull you against his body, leaning into you, making you giggle as you bent backwards at the hips. "josh."
"what?" he asked, giving you a half lidded smile as his hand found your jaw, pulling you back into him. "stop leaning back and i'll stop chasing you."
"i'm-" you giggled into the kiss he interrupted you with. "i'm not leaning back, you're pushing me."
joshua made you feel like you were out of your depth, but in a way that was more exciting than scary. it had been ages since someone had been able to surprise you, or had helped you surprise yourself, but today he was doing both. the last time you had let a man into your heart, it had been less than perfect, especially towards the end, but joshua felt like home. cozy. he made you feel safe. like he wouldn't let you fall backwards unless your mattress was waiting for you.
and when you fell, he crawled over you, connecting your lips again with a hand against your jaw, the other holding himself above you, and you tried to restrain a whine.
"josh," you said suddenly, pushing on his chest lightly, processing fully what was about to happen and a shot of anxiety running through your chest. "c-can i tell you something first?"
joshua paused his motions, studying your eyes, his expression skewing scared. "oh, shit, are you a virgin?"
"what?" your eyebrows creased, a laugh on your lips. "no, what the fuck, josh? i'm in my mid-twenties."
he blinked at you. "there would be nothing wrong with you if you were a virgin in your mid-twenties."
"i'm not a virgin, joshua."
"right," he shook his head slightly. "sorry, i don't know. what were you saying?"
you chewed at your cheek nervously. "i just. i haven't… been with a guy in a really long time."
his eyes examined your face, looking for a hint at what you meant, because if it was only what you were saying, he didn't understand why you were so worried. "okay?"
"like, really long," you reiterated.
"baby, i promise," he said, forehead against yours. "i promise you, i don't care."
you exhaled sharply, wishing you could just enjoy things normal people did. that you knew what people wanted out of these encounters innately, instead of having to overthink them. "like, i don't want to… i don't know. disappoint you."
"disappoint me?" his head bobbed backwards in shock. "how the hell could i ever be disappointed when you're you?"
your eyes shut, grateful that he could still make you smile when you felt so out of your league. "i just mean that i-" you paused, trying to figure out how much you were willing to say, and how much you could without ruining whatever mood had been fostered here. "i just don't really do this. like, i feel like i don't know how."
"baby," he said, pressing his lips to yours briefly. "honey, sweetie, darling," he continued, punctuating each name with quick pecks. "you could starfish and i would have the time of my life."
you laughed, a hand landing on his shoulder sharply as he smiled at you. "okay, i'm not that bad, jesus."
"i'm telling you," he assured. "i don't care. i don't care if it's been months or years or forever, i don't care." he paused, appraising your expression. "we don't have to do anything. i'd be happy to just kiss you for an hour and a half if you're not ready."
"no," you whined, crinkling your nose. "it's not that, i just…" you took a breath. "i might just need you to take it a little slow."
"well, baby, you're in luck," he said, giving you a teasing smirk as his lips closed in on yours again. "slow and steady is exactly how i want you."
karol had said you hated men. she hadn't been wrong. you hated a lot of men, and how they made you feel like a prisoner in your own body. you hated the men you had encountered in your past, who made you feel small and weak. ugly and only wanted for one purpose, disrespecting your boundaries, your presentation, and your being. you hated those men, and nothing would ever redeem them for you.
joshua was different, though. he wasn't like them, because even though you didn't say explicitly why you needed a little extra care, he was more than prepared to give it to you. without even needing specific direction, he paid special attention to your reactions. to your body. he waited until you were ready, and asking him for more. and even when he sheepishly admitted that he'd started carrying a condom in his wallet the month prior, you could only giggle and silently be overwhelmingly thankful that he was truly nothing like any man you had ever been with before.
you swore you had made the same recipe you always did, but your curry tasted sweeter than you remembered. maybe it was just that you were eating it in your underwear with a man that made you feel comfortable in your skin for the first time in forever, a home improvement show remaining unwatched on your tv as the two of you joked together.
joshua woke the next morning in your empty bed, and was only confused for a second as he looked around your white walls. he stretched once, then sat up, eyes meandering over your orange patterned rug (one he remembered describing as "groovy" when he had first seen it, which had made you laugh in that way he adored), then noticed your laptop had been turned on. it was saturday, he realized, and you were likely going to edit today so you wouldn't have to tomorrow. he decidedly did not peek, though he wanted to, and peeked out your bedroom door instead.
you were easy to find, standing in your kitchen with an oversized shirt on and your hair pulled out of your face as you formed rice balls. you looked up from your work, smiling when you saw him, placing the triangle of rice you had just made on the cutting board. "good morning!"
it was, he thought. it was a really good morning.
you teased him for hugging you in your kitchen while he was only wearing underwear, saying that he seemed to have made himself comfortable quickly. he just playfully ran his hands under your shirt, saying, well, what about you, then? making breakfast with no pants on?
"i live here," you said, giggling and using your hip to bump him away. "i pay rent. what do you do?"
his eyes darted away from yours as he thought. "sit still, look pretty?"
that made you laugh. "you are very pretty."
he grinned, taking the opportunity to pull you into his chest again. "you, too."
he looked at what you had made, noticing the pot on the stove for the first time.
"soybean paste soup," you said, reacting to his gaze, then pointed at the neat triangles of brown tinted rice in front of you. "mushroom riceballs, and i'm making tamagoyaki next."
joshua blinked at you after processing everything. "do you do this every morning?"
"not every morning," you giggled. "but i wanted to today."
weeks later, you were biting your pinky nail to oblivion as you scrolled through comments on the video you had posted earlier that morning. you were sitting on the couch in joshua's living room, your laptop perched on the arm and your boyfriend fixing something to eat before the two of you sat to watch a movie. you had made a risky move in your video - one you thought would have been fine, but clearly people read more into it than you expected. joshua came over for dinner earlier in the week, when you had made pasta with all the delicious fresh seafood the two of you had found at a market the day before, accompanied by a simple salad and white wine. karol was working late, so you had set some aside for her, but that meant it was just you and joshua in frame when you filmed your usual table setting shot.
people were speculating.
you knew it was inevitable, and a few comments had pointed out the man that had eaten sushi with you in the vlog that included your first date, but at this point, the comments were flooded with questions and hypotheses on who the mystery man could be. most assumed boyfriend - which, while true, made you feel slightly annoyed - and a few wondered if he was your brother, or close friend, but they all noticed that his hands and voice had become regular guest stars on your channel. that, while you still got meals with krys and karol, this nameless, faceless man sat opposite you more often than anyone else.
the jeonju vlog is what sparked the most comments. people suspected some amount of intimacy when they realized this guy was travelling with you, too, and you probably would have thought the same if it had been someone you watched regularly. you had been careful with the editing, only including clips with food and the scenery shots that didn't star him (while you had filmed a lot that did, those were just for your own personal record), but you supposed it was in peoples' nature to try and find a romantic plotline in your slice of life.
"josh?" you said suddenly, pulling your pinky from between your teeth. you heard his vague noise of acknowledgment and spun around on the couch to watch as he cocked his head at you from the kitchen. "should we go public?"
"uh," he paused, looking at the scallion pancake he was cooking, quickly grabbing the panhandle to flip it. "give me, like, two minutes and we can discuss? i'm almost done in here."
you puffed your cheeks out and nodded, turning back towards your computer. "okay, baby."
when joshua came into the living room, the spread he had quickly put together across a tray you had bought for him (because you wanted it, mostly, but karol would kill you if you brought more home), he put it on the coffee table and sat next to you, quickly addressing the subject again.
"people keep," you paused. his eyebrows raised, prompting you, but he only chewed on his bottom lip to let you take your time as you hugged your knees to your chest. "people keep assuming you're my boyfriend anyways, so i'm just thinking-" you exhaled sharply. "should we just say fuck it? just confirm that we're a couple?"
joshua studied you. "you've always been pretty private."
you chewed your cheek, putting your lips against your knees. "that's on purpose."
"you don't have to say anything you don't want to," he reminded you, rubbing a hand against your back. you put your chin on your knees and gave him your biggest doe eyes, making him smile. "they can speculate all they want, but you don't owe them an explanation."
you nodded lightly as you hugged your legs and looked around, briefly studying the tray joshua had brought over. he had quickly stirfried some vegetables, grilled the frozen pork belly slices he always kept on hand, and even cooked your favorite premade scallion pancakes, the spread complete with several side dishes you had made together earlier in the week and two bowls of rice. your brows knit together, fingers itching to film how neatly he had put together a light meal for the two of you because you had said you wanted to show him your favorite movie without interruption, and he knew you would be hungry soon.
"would you-" you cleared your throat, looking up from the food and finding his eyes. "what do you think i should do?"
he let out a breathy laugh. "does it matter? you'll do what you want anyways."
you whined, pushing his shoulder as your feet dropped from the couch. "i'm serious, your opinion matters here. would you be okay with being public?"
"you're joking, right?" he laughed, adjusting his posture, and grabbing your hand to folding it between his. "baby, you know i care about you, right?"
your lips pursed as you nodded, looking between his eyes shyly.
"and you know i would never try to say that i, like, own you, right? like, i don't claim ownership over you as a person."
you let out a short laugh. "right."
he held your hand tighter. "i want to tell every viewer of every single one of your videos that you are mine."
your cheek puffed out as you smiled. "really?"
"especially the reply guys, oh my gosh," he rolled his eyes, making you laugh. "there's a place i think you'd like! i could take you, smiley face. yeah, get lost, creep. move along."
your palm landed on your cheek as you laughed. "shut up, are you serious?"
"you don't see those?" his eyes wide when you shook your head. "baby, there's so many people trying to take you out in the comments. so many."
you giggled, pressing your lips together. "well, there's only one guy that gets to."
"that's right," joshua said, a proud look on his face. "the ultimate reply guy fanboy."
you pushed his chest, laughing again. "shut up."
you decided an faq would do, but in the style of your regular videos. you definitely didn't want to just sit down in front of your camera and talk through questions and answers - that wasn't your style, and would feel wrong uploading. so instead, you spent a few hours compiling questions you had been asked often and organized them in a way that made sense, planning on showing your daily life. questions like what camera you used, what your go-to quick breakfast is, where you bought the clothes you liked - it was easy to plan them out to create a vague storyline of your standard day. you woke up on a wednesday (a day you went to the studio, because many of your questions were about what goes on there), excited to film but slightly nervous. as you set up your camera for breakfast, your phone buzzed on the counter.
joshie: good morning, baby! you got this! can't wait to see you tonight 🥰
you: 🥺🥺🥺 thank you!
the day went well, filming your planned clips on the subway and at the studio, and when your coworker asked what all the questions you were filming for were, you sighed.
"normal stuff," you said quickly, taking off your apron after several hours of cooking and shooting. "favorite recipes, what equipment i use… y'know."
yunhyeong nodded at you, his eyes squinting slightly. "is that all?"
he knew you. he knew how you reacted when you were nervous. how you could practically hide it from anyone, but that certain subjects would always make your eyes look slightly panicked and your speech speed up. the worst part is that you knew he knew, and your facade was almost immediately broken.
"and if i have a boyfriend."
he stared at you for a second before he laughed in disbelief. it took him over a week of bugging you about the guy in your videos before you admitted you were seeing someone, and even then, you only did because joshua had started picking you up from the studio and - against your wishes - introduced himself to your coworkers. yunhyeong thought about how protective you were of your privacy, and how you had never revealed something as personal as a relationship online before - partly because none of the people you had gone on two or three dates with had been serious enough to reveal, but he mostly thought about how you barely even showed your own face. that you stayed mostly silent when you filmed, and if you had to speak, it was a voice that was only adjacent to your usual cadence, as if you were trying to create another barrier between you and your online persona. how you had mourned your grandfather's passing and uploaded your vlog like normal two days later, but called out of work for the week following.
"and you're telling the truth?"
you exhaled, wiping down the stove top now that it had cooled. "yeah, shua and i discussed it. people are speculating, anyways, and it's not like he's going anywhere any time soon."
yunhyeong nodded again, organizing the spices as he put them away. "i'm happy for you."
you looked at him. "what do you mean?"
"it's a big step," he said, purposefully keeping his eyes from you so you didn't get self conscious. "you haven't been this serious about someone the entire time i've known you. i think it's really great that you found someone you care about."
you watched him spin bottles to be label out as you considered his words. "thanks."
he peeked at you, smiling. "of course."
yunhyeong's words rattled in your mind as you walked to the restaurant joshua had agreed to meet you at, filming your feet as you went with the intention of answering a few random questions with on-screen text in the edit. someone you care about.
you thought about how joshua had said the same thing about you when you had asked if going public was something he would be comfortable with. the way it has made your heart flutter. you wondered, briefly, if perhaps this was something more than just caring.
when you were editing the video that saturday, you procrastinated on the last question as long as you could, and when it was the only thing left to do, you escaped to the kitchen to make lunch in favor of finishing the part that was haunting you. your bagel sandwich was delicious, but you could barely enjoy it, mind clouded by the task that made your anxiety peak for seemingly no good reason.
it took you too long to finish it.
when you showed it to joshua, wanting his blessing before you uploaded, he couldn't hide his giddy reaction.
"it's okay?" you confirmed, studying his face.
he nodded at you, lips pushed together into a lopsided smile. "it's really cute."
"cute?" you asked, clicking through the video. "that's good, right?"
"yes," he laughed, squeezing your shoulder to put a kiss on your head. "it's great. post it."
so you did. and while you had gotten a tiny bump when krys excitedly dragged the two of you onto her stream that afternoon, you had no way of predicting the way the rest of the internet picked it up a few weeks later.
"r/relationshipgoals," jeonghan read off his phone, leaning against your kitchen island along with several of your friends that had come over when they saw the two of you on their newsfeeds unprompted. "'cross post from r/cutecouples, the most heartwarming boyfriend reveal you'll see this year.'"
"twitter, too," karol announced looking up from her own phone, seated in a barstool beside him. "you're a twitter moment. people found the clip from krys' stream, even."
you were on the counter opposite them, kicking your feet nervously to the beat in your head as you chewed your lip. you sighed and covered your face. "how long is this gonna last?"
"a while, hopefully," krys said, turning your laptop screen towards you. "your subcounts are insane right now."
you whined into your hands, making joshua appear at your side to put a hand on your spine. you took a breath at the touch, relaxing your tensed thighs on the counter. "it's okay to be nervous," he muttered at you. "but it's also kinda exciting, right?"
you exhaled deeply, letting your hands fall and your eyes trail to his before a smile broke on your face. "kinda."
so after you calmed yourself down, you managed to go through some of the posts about you, and you surprised yourself by letting them put a smile on your face. even the idea of having a public relationship had scared you shitless less than a month prior, but this… this wasn't so bad. seeing twitter repost the same video of you filming your feet as you walked into a restaurant, panning the camera up to reveal joshua sitting at a table and waving excitedly at you. the cuts you made to show clips that had landed on the cutting room floor of past videos - the footage you had taken of him pointing out the new wok you had started using a few weeks prior in a kitchen specialty store, and the goofy face he revealed after holding it in front of himself as he brought it back to you. the video of joshua grasping your hand, panning up to his playfully serious face as he dragged you down a boardwalk in jeonju, gesturing to the sunset. the unedited audio from your first date, when you had said something about it looking really good, and he had said something along the lines of how it would have been a waste if you hadn't recorded, and the two of you giggled together in a way that nervous new couples did. short bits of you swinging your camera around to reveal a laughing joshua as you tried to film quiet shots. a clip of him wearing a triangular menu on his head like a hat, acting as though it was completely normal.
you had a hard time believing anything you ever did would be viral-worthy, but even you had to admit, this was a pretty understandable thing for you to go viral for.
besides, it felt like it made sense for this to be the one thing about your personal life that ended up getting attention. it felt like he was an innate part of you at this point, and that you wouldn't be honest if you hid him.
it was august when he broke your heart.
"how could you?" you asked him, staring in disbelief. "you haven't seen lord of the rings?"
"okay, i lied," joshua said, still washing the dishes. "i saw them when i was a kid, but i don't remember them really."
"well, we're fixing that."
he looked at where you were sitting on his kitchen island - a well known habit of yours at this point. "today?"
"not today," you said, poking your toe at his hip. "this weekend, maybe? if we start now, we'll be watching til you go to work tomorrow morning."
he shut off the faucet and gingerly placed the pan he had just washed on the drying rack. "how many movies is it? i thought it was just three."
"it is," you said, laughing at his shocked look. "the extended editions are around four hours each."
joshua exhaled, leaning against the counter as he used a cloth to dry his hands. "you're lucky i like wasting hours with you."
you grinned, hopping down from your seat. "you're lucky i let you."
and that weekend, the two of you did just that - waste time, ordering delivery food for two meals as you camped out on the couch in various positions as the two of you got comfortable repeatedly. you couldn't help but recite specific lines, mouthing along with every word gandalf said like you had thought of the words yourself. you pointed out behind the scenes facts along the way, even, excitedly saying viggo broke two toes when he kicked that helmet, or how faramir's flames were a mirror trick. joshua watched you, because while he knew it was your favorite movie and he really should pay attention, he couldn't help but get distracted by his own favorite movie, and it starred you getting excited about something you loved.
you slept later than joshua that sunday, and when you emerged from the bedroom, you spotted krys sitting at the island with a plate of waffles in front of her, then found joshua leaned against the counter with a cup of coffee. he smiled when he saw you.
"i made breakfast," he said, gesturing to the counter.
you looked around at the spread as you walked over to him. waffles, fruit, bacon, and the promise of a fried egg upon request - a spread worthy of your own brunching standards. "what about second breakfast?" you asked quietly, in accented english.
joshua laughed, his arm wrapping around your midsection as you came over to kiss him good morning. "elevensies?" he shot back, in the same vague accent.
you broke your serious face to giggle. "luncheon?"
"alright," krys said, voice raised in annoyance when the two of you looked over at her. "i get it, y'all are in love or whatever, but can you have some respect for those of us who are lonely?"
you rolled your eyes, laughing at the fact that she had absolutely brought this upon herself by forcing the two of you together every chance she got, but joshua went cold when he heard her say the thing he had been thinking for a while, but was too scared to say out loud. the thing he felt when you grabbed his arm and told him that if he wouldn't let you carry the ring, then you could at least carry him with all the same dramatics as one samwise gamgee did. when you cried as frodo and bilbo sailed into the sunset for good, even though you had seen it a million times over. the sneaking thought that he was in love with you, but didn't know how to say so. he swallowed down the thought, shaking his head when you raised a questioning brow at him as you dished up a plate of waffles and fruit.
it didn't take you long to trust joshua enough to give him your door code so he could let himself in, but it took him a while to actually use it. he said something about not wanting to intrude, but you told him it was more intrusive to make you come to the door when you could possibly be doing important things and he was completely capable of getting in on his own.
"babe?"
you hissed. you had the thought right before you started this boss battle, that he would arrive before you finished and you would be trapped at your computer. you were right. "in here! gimme like two minutes!"
you heard him enter your room, and his bubbly laugh when he spotted your back at your desk desperately clicking your mouse and striking your keyboard. "wow, is this what you meant by important things?"
"please, please, please," you whined, intermittently squealing as you reacted to the enemy attacks. "i'll get off in a second i just need one more cleansing heart to ascend xin- fuck! not the stupid birds!"
he laughed again, his hand finding the back of your shoulder, thumbs pressing into the constantly sore flesh. you winced as he kneaded his fingers into your shoulder but exhaled, making him laugh lightly when you got knocked over by a boar. "hey, there's a boar there."
"yes, thank you, joshua." you quickly cracked a knuckle as soon as you had down time, sticking your neck out as he continued to massage your shoulders. "i think i have two more waves."
"waves? because it's a water level?"
you groaned into a reluctant laugh. "no shitty jokes right now, i'm trying to focus. normally krys and i co-op this one but she was busy."
he hummed, moving to stand next to you with his hand resting at the base of your neck. "wonder what she was doing."
"don't you live with her?" you teasingly asked, glancing up at him for the first time while sprinting across the platform, your game camera spinning uncontrollably when you suddenly pulled both hands to your mouth and gasped. "what the fuck, joshua?"
he stifled a grin, but it was completely obvious in his eyes as you stared up at him, blonde hair curled lightly to stay out of his face. "what's up?"
you stood from your chair, inspecting his head. "what the fuck?"
he laughed, wrapping his arms around you when you ran your fingers through his bleached locks hesitantly. "do you hate it?"
"i-" you blinked at him repeatedly. "what? no, i don't hate- what the fuck, joshua?"
"what?" he whined, eyebrows tenting at you even though his lips were still smiling. "does it not suit me?"
you held his head and squinted at him. "josh, you're hot. you look hot. but what the fuck?"
he laughed, finally planting his hello kiss on your lips. he watched the gears turn behind your eyes, puckered lips becoming a pout.
"did you go to a salon?"
he grinned. "krys did it."
you made a fist at him, scrunching your face for a second as you exhaled, looking down at the screen right as your last team member died, respawning at a statue. "that's why she used so many smiley faces when she said she was busy."
he put his lips to your cheek, smiling into your skin. "not bad though, right? you got a pretty handsome boyfriend."
and while you would have loved to roll your eyes and tease him, you were overtaken by a giggle as you turned your head towards him again, the tip of his nose gliding across your cheek. "yeah, i do."
his eyebrows went up. "wow, wasn't expecting you to admit it so readily."
you laughed, a light, carefree laugh, your palms on his jaw as you kissed him. "i have eyes, joshua." he just smiled against your lips, lacing his fingers together behind your tailbone, and you pulled away slightly to look up at his hair again. your hands went to his nape, fingertips against his scalp. "how long did it take? you have thick hair."
"we did three sessions," he said. "enjoy it while you can, it might fall out."
you laughed with him, brushing your fingers gently in his bangs again. "it feels fine, though?"
"yeah, i made this incredible discovery that i'm almost positive i'm the first to hear about it. it's called a hair treatment."
you batted at his chest, giggling. "shut up."
"make me," he said, the sweet smile on his lips making the phrase more playful than suggestive.
"i can't believe you surprised me with bleached hair," you said, plopping into your seat and exiting the game. "you know i hate surprises, right?"
"that's too bad," he said, his hand returning to rub against your neck. "i like surprises a lot. get used to them."
you puffed out your cheeks, sighing slowly. "usually people compromise."
"not on this," he stated. "i'm a gift giver."
"yeah, i figured that out when you got flowers sent to the studio on our one month anniversary, then again on our second, then here on our third…"
he was just smiling smugly at you when you stood again, maneuvering around him. "and you love getting them?"
you rolled your eyes, not even commenting when he playfully patted your butt as you went by. "they're always tasteful and it's nice to have some seasonal flowers for the counter."
"so you love them," he repeated. "because it sounds to me like you love them."
you laughed, reaching out to catch his hand in yours and pull him along with you as you exited to the main living area. "and what if i do? so what, joshua hong, if it makes my heart beat a little fast when we suddenly get flowers delivered and i realize it's the fourteenth? are you gonna call me a hypocrite because i vocally advocate that traditional chivalry is bullshit?"
he just listened to your playful accusation, more proving that you were self aware rather than egging him on. "no way," he said plainly. "you can still think traditional chivalry is bullshit, it won't stop me from trying to make you smile."
you felt your face heating up, your jaw dropping slightly to let out an annoyed huff. "cheesy, joshua. i'm offended."
"want me to make it worse?" he asked, wrapping his arms around your waist.
your hands landed on his chest as you squinted at his grin. "i'm scared."
he gave you a crooked grin. "happy one hundred days. i brought sushi."
your head whipped over to the counter, spotting the paper bag with a familiar logo. "from nori table?"
"of course, from nori table."
joshua had promised jeonghan that you would make an appearance as a couple at a party he was throwing the next day, and you found yourself almost nervous. you got on with jeonghan famously - almost enough to drive joshua insane - and you even warmed up to seokmin pretty quickly, but from what you had been told, jeonghan enjoyed partying, and you didn't really like getting drunk.
"you made it!" seokmin grinned big, spreading his arms to signal for you to let him wrap you in a hug. you laughed and greeted him, enjoying the friendly comfort, then watching him hug joshua after he let you go. "and you're blonde! life's good?"
"yeah," joshua said, making eye contact with you briefly as his fingers tangled with yours. "life's good. you?"
seokmin blinked before he said "yeah, good!" and your brow knit slightly before you consciously adjusted your face to hide the analysis of his hesitation happening behind your eyes. "this is your first time here, right?"
you nodded, smiling and following him as he led you into the crowded apartment. "yeah, it's been busy lately. but i finally made it to one!"
"well, you need to meet my friends," he said, continuously looking back at you even as he walked ahead, towards a corner of the living room. "you're gonna love them."
"aye, josh!"
you looked to the source of the call, spotting the guy pulling himself to his feet from his seat on the couch, arms wide in greeting to your boyfriend.
"hey, hosh," joshua said, a sideways grin on and his brows tented as he gave him a quick handshake into a hug. quickly, he put a hand on your opposite shoulder, pulling you towards him and quickly introducing you.
soonyoung initially went in for a hug after your introduction, but immediately noticed the way your eyes widened slightly and instantly pulled his arms down, leaving a hand extended for you to shake. you laughed, taking it, and apologized for not being a hugger.
"no worries," soonyoung laughed, and you wondered if he was always this pink in the face or if he had already started drinking. "seokmin will hug me, right?"
"everyone!" seokmin ignored him, pulling you towards the people gathered on and around the couch. he announced you to his friends then quickly went down the line - soonyoung, seungkwan, jihoon, dongmin, yugyeom - you repeated the names back to him like you would remember all of them, even though you knew you wouldn't unless they became regulars in your life, too.
jeonghan flitted by and expressed his greetings to you both some time later, intending to abscond with joshua for drinks and conversation elsewhere, but he stopped jeonghan from pulling him away before he put a hand on your elbow, looking at you meaningfully.
"i'll be okay," you told him, smiling. "go ahead."
he squinted at you. "you sure?"
"seokmin's here," you reminded him, nodding your head at the boy you had practically adopted as your own brother. "real quick, about soonyoung-"
he quirked an eyebrow at you. "what about him?"
you chewed your lip, smiling. "karol's been a little too focused on work lately, right?"
his eyes widened, thinking about your roommate. his eyes went to the man you had referenced, who was currently chanting something into seungkwan's face as he rolled his eyes. "karol?"
"what do you think?" you asked, looking back at soonyoung.
he blinked. "i think he'll drive her insane."
your eyes shone at him. "i think she'll love it."
he laughed incredulously, registering that you had asked his opinion instead of just doing whatever pleased you, and he wondered if that meant you trusted him. "you're right," he said finally. "try it."
"of course i'm right," you said, giggling against the quick peck he put on your lips. "remove him, jeonghan."
"finally," an impatient host shot back, rolling his eyes in a way that landed in a sly smile at you. "for what it's worth, i think your plan will work."
"didn't need your approval, but i'll take it," you said, smiling smugly at him. "i'll update you later."
the update you gave the next time you saw him, weeks later, was that karol had left the apartment every week since to go be with soonyoung somewhere fun and exciting, and you waved her off with a shiteating grin every week, culminating in the two of them arriving to krys' birthday party hand in hand.
jeonghan laughed, stealing a carrot stick from your cutting board as you arranged them into a rainbow themed charcuterie platter. "knew it. soonyoung loves women stronger than him."
you looked at him as he took a bite. "and karol loves someone she can take care of."
"look at us," he said, waving the half eaten carrot between the two of you with a lopsided grin on his face. "what a duo. we should hang out more. fuck joshua."
you laughed at him, then at the offended look on your boyfriend's face as he walked past. "now?" you asked eyebrows raised as you looked at him expectantly, and he laughed when he realized what the last words out of jeonghan's mouth were seconds before.
"please, this is a child's birthday party," he reminded you, and you laughed at the overexaggerated look he gave you to sell the joke.
you looked over to where krys was laughing with seokmin, soonyoung, and karol, then back down to your work as you nudged around quartered figs with a vague smile on. "seems like the kids are having a nice time."
jeonghan sighed, falling dramatically against the counter. "oh, to be young and in love."
joshua laughed. "karol's our age."
his cheek was planted in his palm, elbow on the counter as he gazed after the group. "i'm talking about seokmin and krys."
"what?" joshua asked, voice nearly cracking, and you let out an explosive laugh. "seokmin and who?"
"stop acting stupid," jeonghan waved ahand at him, then popping his eyes up to catch your look of solidarity. he pointed at you. "see? we're on the same page, which means we're right."
joshua looked at you and you raised your hands in surrender. "are you serious?" he asked. "my sister and-"
you landed a hand on his face, effectively shutting him up as you giggled. "shush, josh. just leave it, okay?"
"good idea," jeonghan sighed, straightening and picking up the platter you had finished. "dining table?"
"please," you responded, looking back and giggling when joshua looked just as dumbfounded as he had before you looked away. "she's an adult. seokmin's a good guy. let it happen."
he closed his mouth, stealing a glance at his sister. "he is a kindergarten teacher."
"and both your best friend and your partner love him," you reminded him. "she could do worse."
he gave you a look. "she has done worse."
"shut up," you said, pushing his shoulder in your friend's defense. "you've done pretty bad, too."
his eyes went to the ceiling, remembering the accidental altercation you had been forced to have with one of his more regrettable exes. "how many times do i have to apologize-"
"you don't," you laughed, putting your hands on his cheeks and focusing his eyes on yours. "but krys is an adult. she's allowed to judge her own partners, and even if she ends up being wrong, she's old enough to make her own mistakes."
joshua huffed, knowing you were right but not wanting to admit it. "sorry i'm trying to protect my one and only baby sister."
"yes, and you're adorable," you assured him. "best big brother ever. but it's her birthday, and if you don't start getting drunk soon, she'll be very upset."
drinking with joshua was fun. because he wasn't much different than yourself - he didn't get crazy, he didn't get loud. he just got loose. he let stupider jokes out, and he was more willing to join in on krys' performative comedy bits throughout the night. you found yourself falling onto a couch with him, giggling as he caught his breath after a particularly involved musical number.
the most fun you had drinking with joshua was in itaewon, long past midnight but still what you considered halloween. you had been dragging karol with you for years, but now you had a boyfriend, and she had a boyfriend, and you both had a new joint best friend, so it only made sense for you to get them all take the train ride out to your favorite part of seoul.
ratatouille. that was the only way you could get joshua to go with you. he wanted a couples costume and he wanted you to be the rat.
"this feels backhanded," you told him.
"do you want to be linguine?" he asked. "i can be sexy remy. i can find grey hot pants, but you have to be the one to attach the the tail because i have no idea what my butt looks like."
you laughed, resigning to your fate and buying the outfit online, then looked at him suddenly. "liar. i know you check yourself out at the gym."
"okay," he said, eyes on the ceiling as he herded a giggling you into his arms. "then… i want it to be accurate, so you need to attach it directly at my tailbone." he cocked his head at you after you settled into the hug. "i have to be wearing them, obviously."
"obviously," you said. "but unfortunately, i already ordered the body suit."
josh pressed his lips together and made a quick fist in victory. "awesome. i-i mean! aww, well, that's fine, i suppose." he sighed dramatically, convincing absolutely no one that he hadn't wanted this outcome all along. "i'll be linguine."
"i don't feel like fighting a bunch of gays in itaewon for your affection anyways," you said, making him laugh and kiss your cheek quickly before pulling away.
"grilled cheese?"
"is that even a question?"
it wasn't a question when you were weaving through throngs of bunnies and angels, either, holding hands with both him and his sister to not lose them in the crowd, karol and soonyoung trailing behind krys, all five of you on a mission to get carbs in you after starting the night off nearly too strong.
halloween in itaewon was different. it was special, you thought. you usually didn't like crowds, but this one felt good. halloween wasn't a celebrated holiday in korea, but with internet, influencers, and immigrants, the culture found its way into the new age scene. you loved an excuse to celebrate your favorite characters by paying them homage, and joshua had thought that was a noble enough reason for him to justify staying up too late and drinking too much.
you had just left the diner themed bar that you devoured griddle top sandwiches from, as well as another drink, and you spotted a familiar angel making a beeline for you.
well, not you.
"how many times have i tried to get you to come to itaewon with me?" jeonghan asked, pushing joshua's shoulder as soon as he could reach it.
joshua laughed, looking shocked by the sudden appearance of his friend. "you never agreed to be remy!"
jeonghan looked at you, and burst into laughter, making your jaw drop in indignance and whacking your fist against both their arms. "at least we're original. way to put in the effort, han."
he shrugged bringing a straw to his mouth, and you eyed the pink liquid that had clearly been funnelled into a water bottle. "i look better than all these clowns and you know it."
"there you are!"
jeonghan spun, the straw still in his mouth. "shit, i haven't lost you?"
seokmin gave him a sarcastic laugh, adjusting the shoulder of his soccer jersey as he walked up behind him, quickly adding to your small circle as he greeted you and joshua. you stepped aside suddenly, revealing the members of your party that had been lagging behind. "o-oh! it's all of you!"
you made brief eye contact with joshua, who was trying to not laugh at your less than subtle attempt. "you match!" you said quickly, pointing out that krys was dressed as a baseball player. "baseball, soccer," you trailed off, looking around for help.
"sports couple," jeonghan said loudly, slipping you a quick look. "cute."
soonyoung had to put his entire palm over his mouth to stop himself from exploding into giggles when seokmin went red in the ears and krys tried to change the subject as kindly as she could manage.
when you finally made it back into joshua's room, it was far too late (early? you could think about it more, but you preferred resigning to the fact that the passage of time was beyond you and moving on), the sun already starting to light the sky as it prepared to break the horizon. when you stole his toque of his head, he put his hand on your waist, backing you up against the closet door and gently working his lips onto yours.
you giggled, your arms landing on his shoulders. "aren't you tired?
"yeah, but," his eyes fluttering over your face. "i just really like you."
you were smiling when he pressed his lips to yours again. "i really like you, too, but we've been at a sweaty block party all night and we need to shower."
"together?" he asked, a spot of childish hope in his voice. "singular shower?"
you sighed on his lips, playfully threading your fingers against his nape. "if you want?"
the hot water felt especially good after trekking home in the cold without a jacket. and even though it was just meant to be a shower, he kept kissing you like it was something more, pressing you against the tiled wall and running his hands all over your shape. you couldn't stop giggling. pushing his hands away, saying you need to wash up, but giving him looks like you wanted him to keep going. you were running your hands over his chest, rinsing away suds, when joshua couldn't help but put a hand at the base of your neck, tipping your head slightly to deepen an already heated kiss.
"cut it out," you muttered against his lips, feeling them curve despite your eyes staying shut.
"cut what out?"
you looked at him, barely processing anything other than how incredibly handsome he was, even with his lashes stuck together with moisture and his hair slicked back against his head. "trying to fuck me in a shower stall."
he laughed teasingly, leaning into you again. "then why'd you agree to come in here with me?"
your back hit the tile again, and you giggled. "to save water."
and then he's kissing you again, a hand steady on your nape as he worked you open, tongue lapping against yours with a desperation that could only mean one thing. you whimpered dumbly, the squeaky whine escaping you with no difficulty as your hands ran up his chest, your grip longing for any amount of him you could get.
his lips leave you abruptly, asking if this was too much. if you wanted to stop. but you shook your head at him, hands eager to feel more of his shoulders, his neck, his scalp, despite your legs starting to give out. steam drifted between you when you told him your legs felt like jello from your full shift of partying, and if he didn't want to hold you up, you should probably take this to bed.
you were giggling as you frantically dried each other off, stealing kisses that were far too deep to be so short and longing touches that could have been interpreted as purposeful drying if you squinted hard enough, but felt much more like careful teasing. his hands felt right running up your body, and your hair was still damp, but that didn't bother either of you when you fell into bed together.
"i cant believe you want to fuck me when i was dressed like a literal rat," you teased.
he laughed, tugging your thigh up on his hip as his nose nuzzled against yours. "a sexy rat."
you giggled, lips parting when he kissed you. "a rat from a pixar movie."
he didn't miss a beat. "a sexy rat from a pixar movie."
you roll your damn eyes at him, and he just laughs, knowing that it mattered very little what you were wearing before, because now you were bare, clean, and safe in his bed, which was exactly where he wanted you for the rest of forever.
the sun was past its peak when you woke, stretching your sore spine and legs with joshua's arm draped over you. his hand seemed to wake before he did, finding your hip and squeezing gently as he took in his signature first breath of the day.
"g'morning." you smiled at his soft voice as he squinted at you, and you rolled into him to plant a kiss on his lips.
"it's almost two," you said finally.
he groaned, burying his face in the pillow. "too early." his grip around you tightened, making you giggle. "nap time."
you whined. "i wanna make coffee before it gets too late."
"i said nap time," he muttered, face still against the pillow.
"baby, i have a headache."
his head popped up, squinting at the bedside. "there's water."
you laughed incredulously. "i need caffeine."
he just pulled you tighter. "i need you here."
"wow," you said, wrapping your arms around him as he snuggled into your chest. "would rather i suffer from a caffeine headache for your own selfish need to cuddle than let me escape for two minutes to make a coffee and come back?"
he smiled, rubbing his cheek against your sternum. "mhmm."
you giggled, carding your fingers through his hair and resigning to a few more precious moments of uninterrupted snuggling before you could relieve the vague aching in your temples.
he did eventually let you slip out of his grasp, and you asked if he wanted a coffee, too, to which he just blearily blinked at you and nodded once. you laughed, finding a shirt in a drawer and pulling it over your head before exiting to the kitchen.
you hit the kettle first, having a craving for a hot cup of coffee rather than the usual iced, grabbing a mug and glass from a cabinet. the espresso machine sat on the long counter against the windowed outer wall, and your eyes danced across the outside world as you made the two coffees. when you returned to the bedroom, joshua was on his phone, and when you cleared your throat, he dropped his phone on the pillow and pretended to be asleep, complete with a loud snore.
you giggled, sitting on the edge of the bed and nudging him carefully. "get up or i'll put the glass on your neck."
he winced at the idea. "evil," he stated plainly, flopping around to comfortably sit up and taking the iced coffee from you.
you sipped your coffee and put it on the bedside table to swing your feet back under the covers. you shoved at the pillows to support your back as you sat, grabbing your coffee and phone to begin your weekend morning routine of checking the news as you sipped at an americano. "i brought you coffee in bed at two pm. i think i'm pretty saintly."
he gave you a fake laugh, making you giggle and push your foot against his leg under the covers in a half hearted kick. "is that why you said 'oh, god' so much last night?"
you groaned. "gross, joshua. and for the record," you said, eyeing him slyly as a smile broke out on your lips. "that was this morning."
"time is an illusion," he declared, taking a gulp from his coffee and setting it down to get more comfortable beside you as you began to read an article. "are we doing anything today?"
you shook your head, eyes still focused on your screen. "nada."
"nothin'?" joshua fished.
"zilch," you concluded.
"rad," he decided, a light tone in his voice as he grabbed his phone to resume whatever he had been doing before you returned. "do you wanna order breakfast?"
you let out a breath, your head falling back as you looked at him. "yes, oh my god."
he laughed, and his eyes ran over your face in a way you recognized well at this point. to you, it was him just smiling back at you, and you liked that it reached his eyes. but to him, it was the way he looked at you when he was memorizing all the little reasons he adored you, and it was getting harder for him to pretend it wasn't more than just simple adoration.
"question," he started, eyes darting away from yours as he licked his suddenly dry lips and swallowed quickly.
"pasta," you said immediately, pulling your phone to your chest as you gave him your biggest, most convincing eyes before a finger came up to demonstrate a point. "and before you say that's not a breakfast food, i would like to remind you that it is 2pm and i had to sit through a hundred of your italian food puns yesterday despite ratatouille being set in france."
he laughed, and you gave him a confused look. "we can get pasta, but that wasn't the question."
your eyebrow quirked. "what other question could you possibly ask me right now?"
unknowingly, joshua let his face settle into the same look he was giving you less than a minute earlier. "would you want to move in?"
your eyes ran over his face repeatedly, trying to register how serious he was as you considered the idea of staying in this comforting bed and presence for the indefinite future, and even you couldn't hide how nice that sounded. the only thing stopping you was that you couldn't bear to leave karol alone. you had been living together for over four years now, she had been your first roommate in korea, your best friend for years, and an inexplicable source of quiet but understanding comfort for you.
"i understand," joshua assured you, placing his hand over yours after you expressed your hesitation. "i don't know what i'll do with myself when krys decides to move out."
you nodded, studying his face but mind wandering to other things. "krys," you hummed, and he eyed you.
"what genius plan is that brain brewing?"
you shook your head, brushing the thought out of your mind - the thought that krys had said something about needing to find a new place soon. the thought that she had said she was never gonna properly grow up when josh was taking care of her, whether she wanted him to or not. "nothing."
but it wasn't nothing. it was a compromise - you and krys would swap leases.
"are you sure?" you asked her, elbows on the island as krys ate the donuts you had anxiously made that morning. you had brought up the idea to her days before, and she excitedly agreed, but something about it felt too easy to you.
"yes," she assured you, wiping her bottom lip clear of powdered sugar. "i swear, i'm sure. how many times do i have to say it?"
you chewed your cheek. "i don't want you to feel like i'm kicking you out."
"you're not kicking me out," she said matter of factly. "i'm moving out. it just happens to be the same day as you're moving in."
you pouted. "and you're moving into my apartment."
"yeah," she said, nodding. "i get to pay lower rent and have south facing windows in my room. i should feel bad about kicking you out."
it took almost a month to organize everything, but by early december you were just waiting for the date. you purposefully scheduled for a weekend, in order to not disrupt krys' streaming schedule and your video uploads, since you had planned to do a separate moving vlog about safely packing tableware. the weekend before, krys came over to her soon-to-be home for your usual monthly brunch.
flipping pancakes that day felt a little somber, knowing it was the last time you'd be cooking brunch while living with karol. you had been with her for four years, and it felt surreal that you were finally parting ways like this. not only that, but you were moving in with a guy. the idea itself scared the shit out of you - cohabitating with someone other than karol. you'd be sharing a room. sharing a kitchen. sharing all of your space - normally, that would scare you away from agreeing, but something about joshua made you feel safe. he made you feel like you would never try to get back the distance you generally held so dear.
months ago, the idea of sharing space like that while trying to decompress would be unimaginable, but recently, you found alone time with joshua just as healing as alone time with yourself, so the idea of being able to snuggle into his side every night actually put a warm feeling in your stomach. you looked at your friends, who were laughing and drinking bloody marys as you tried to keep up with their conversation. your brain swirled, and you looked back down at the strawberries you were cutting, suddenly realizing you had never felt that way about a boy before.
"woah, you okay, babe?" krys bobbed her head downwards to check your face. "are you crying? i thought only onions did that to you."
you threw your head back, sniffling noisily trying to force the tears back under your ducts. karol stood. "oh, my god, what's wrong?" she frantically put down her drink and rushed around the counter to your side.
"wait, yeah-" krys shook her head rapidly, then reached over to take the knife out of your hand, her face creasing into a worried pout. "what's going on?"
you gathered yourself, embarrassed at how quickly you had cried so hard over such a stupid realization. you almost laughed, realizing what a scene you were making. you never cried. you weren't even sure either of them had seen it before now, yet you were ugly sobbing over something that they all probably already knew.
you swallowed harshly, clearing your throat. "i think i'm in love with josh."
krys and karol always knew you didn't truly care about the gender of your hypothetical partner, but that you had avoided men for a reason other than your attraction to them. they knew you gravitated towards women for practically your entire friendships with either of them, they knew that you never liked to get genuinely drunk and instead took care of the rest of them, and they knew you had never been very interested in sex. these were all known facts about you, and your friends understood that you kept the reasons for these facts close to your chest. they respected that.
but you finally wanted to share why. and the why was your ex.
when you had imagined telling your closest friends about your trauma, this certainly wasn't the situation you expected - crowded around the kitchen counter as your pancakes went cold, and only because you had burst into tears. it wasn't the right place, you thought, for you to talk about how he got you drunk. how you were practically asleep. how you tried to push him away but your body was weak with intoxication and you were powerless against him. someone you trusted. someone you loved.
you had always been the type to fight your own battles. you could stand up for yourself without difficulty, yet he made you scared of men. of what they could do to you. he reminded you that despite your effort to air on the androgynous, you had a body that some people might enjoy against your will. he made you want to hide everything about you and your body, wearing baggy shirts and oversized hoodies every chance you got, avoiding the unwanted gaze of men.
but recently, you've been wearing shorts more. you cropped some old shirts you never got use out of anymore to wear to your weekly yoga class. you had even bought a schoolgirl outfit for exactly one purpose, which had been entirely out of your comfort zone until roughly two months prior, but you had happily worn to please a man.
but in your defense, joshua hong was not like most men.
his appreciation of your body never felt predatory, and it always felt like it was bested by his appreciation of your mind. he didn't treat you like a prize, or like you were his for the taking. he appreciated your body as yours. while you may have found yourself the subject of his desire, you were never an object, and it had been a long time since you had felt comfortable wearing the clothes you liked in favor of opting for whatever would hide the most skin.
krys was crying. karol was too, but she was more focused on hugging you tight as you wiped off the tears that had trailed down your face. krys rounded the counter, loudly vocalising how much she loved you and everything about you, and you laughed out loud as she let out an exaggerated wail.
"actually, though," she said, pulling away slightly and sniffling. "drop the address. we're rolling up on this guy tomorrow."
you laughed again, wiping at your face when your arms were free. "wouldn't even know where to find him now."
"good!" karol declared. "fuck that guy! cut him out! you're a bad bitch!"
krys pouted. "i'm really happy josh helped you heal."
you stared at her for a second, registering that she must have been right. you eyes swam over the counter, thinking about all the times he had helped you feel more comfortable with yourself. with everything. enough to let someone in. enough to love. "i guess that's what this is, huh?"
karol cleared her throat. "so, you love him."
a grin broke out on krys' face, and your eyes immediately rolled. "you love him."
"you love him so bad."
"you wanna marry him and make adorable little hong babies."
"oh my god," you said, pressing the backs of your hands into your eye sockets, annoyed laughter on your lips as they bounced off each other. "you guys suck."
joshua started acting… odd. that was the only way you could describe it. there was nothing specific you could name - maybe the way his eyes were moving slightly too quickly from side to side? or maybe it was the way he inhaled a little extra when you asked him what was up, only for him to push his lips into an exaggerated pout and insist that nothing was. whatever it was, it made you watch him a little bit longer, your eyes squinting slightly more than usual.
you called him the day before, asking if you could bring some stuff over in hopes of making the next day as easy as possible, but his response was quick and surprising.
"what do you mean, no?" you laughed, putting down the wooden tray you were deciding the fate of. "do you have a girl over?"
you could hear him faltering on the other end. "and what if i did?"
"good luck getting her to make you breakfast."
he laughed. "i'm kidding. i have a guy over."
"oh?" you asked. "jeonghan?"
"shut up," he chuckled out. "i'm having something installed, but it was supposed to be a surprise."
"joshua," you reminded him, thinking of what the hell he could have meant by something. "i don't do surprises."
"you do now."
you groaned, a palm landing on your counter. "what is it?"
"a sex swing," he said plainly, as though that were the most obvious fact that you could have questioned, and you practically choked on your laughter, not even letting him confirm that he was joking before you were folded over your counter. and quite frankly, you could not wait another day to let him make you laugh like that as a routine.
you finally seceded, but you were glad when joshua arrived - the suv he rented loaded with krys' things - because it was a signifier that the distance between you and said surprise was shrinking quickly. soonyoung had become a surprisingly helpful voice of reason as you went through your piles of tablewares, telling you which ones to leave behind and which ones to take with you. seokmin had even arrived not long after the suv in his own car, a few brightly colored belongings in his backseat. you and karol exchanged a look when you realized he had volunteered to help krys move, but said nothing out loud, knowing she would do nothing but deny the obvious.
after yours and krys' affects were swapped in the car, you looked around one last time before telling josh you thought that was it.
"wait!" krys faltered, realizing she didn't have a good reason to stop you. "i- uh,"
"they know there's a surprise waiting for them," he said, digging the rental keys out of his jacket pocket.
karol looked to you. "do you know what it is?"
"of course not," joshua stated proudly before you could respond. "i'm like a steel trap."
you laughed. "that's definitely not how that phrase is meant to be used."
he raised a brow at you. "that doesn't change the fact that you could never get that info out of me."
"they absolutely could," karol said.
"for sure," krys agreed.
"i just wanted to let you have this," you admitted.
joshua looked between the three of you with his jaw slightly dropped, and seokmin put a hand over his mouth while crossing his arms to disguise the almost laugh on his lips.
"well, i want to see your reaction," krys decided. "so i'm coming."
"wait," soonyoung asked, putting down the retro boombox he had been investigating, among the other things that had been brought from the loft. "like, the surprise?"
"does everyone know about this but me?" you asked, hands hitting your sides in exasperation.
seokmin looked at you with wide, confused eyes. "i don't."
you lifted your hands in a vague prayer towards him. "thank you for your solidarity."
"i wanna see your face, too!" soonyoung said, ignoring you both. "you're gonna freak."
"joshua," you started, turning to him with a look of dread on your face. "what the fuck did you get?"
"i told you!" he exclaimed. "a sex swing!"
there was an excruciatingly long second of silence, making your palm land directly on your face - just above your eye - before seokmin let out a surprised, "a what?"
"he's kidding," you announced, much to the teacher's relief. "and if he's not we're breaking up."
it was decided that the entire party would move to the loft for the surprise reveal, and you watched your friends pile into seokmin's car with your palms sweating slightly and your molars gently gnawing at the fleshy party of your cheek. because, truly, you didn't handle receiving gifts well when you knew what they were, but you didn't have a single clue as to what could be waiting for you in your new home, and that made you a little nervous to have an audience for your possibly piss poor reaction.
joshua's hand found yours on the drive to the apartment. "you okay?"
you blinked and looked over at him, his eyes catching yours between glances at the road. "i don't do surprises."
"so you've said," he nodded. his fingers squeezed at yours lightly and you exhaled. "do you want to know before we go in? you can just act surprised."
your felt your face soften, registering what he was offering you. "joshua, you don't have to do that-"
"i know," he said. "but if it makes you more comfortable, then…"
"no way," you said. "i'll just stop being a baby. you set up a surprise, the least i can do is participate the way you want me to."
he eyed you, then the way you laced your fingers with his. "but you are a baby."
you rolled your eyes. "shut up, no i'm not."
"my baby," he clarified, and you let out an involuntary giggle.
he was guiding you into the kitchen, his large hands placed over your eyes and covering most of your face by proxy, and you didn't quit your playful complaints for the crowd of your closest friends that had gathered around, their presence obvious despite your vision being impaired.
"ready?" joshua asked.
"josh, i literally hate surprises, do we have to do all this?"
"yes," he said frankly. "because i'm doing something nice for us and you're going to love it so can you shut up and let me do this the way i want to like you told me you wanted me to?"
you paused, hearing the way your friends stifled their laughter as you took in a deep breath.
"ready?" he repeated.
"yeah, i guess," you sighed.
the light was harsh when his hands left your face, and you blinked repeatedly at the kitchen that you spent countless hours in, registering what was different. then, it suddenly clicked, the stovetop joshua had always had was replaced by the blue vintage styled range of your dreams.
"joshua!" you gasped, hands going to your face as you spun to look at him, then back at the range. "you bought me a lacanche?!"
he grinned, hands snaking around your waist from behind as you stood frozen in place. "i bought us a lacanche."
seokmin leaned over to krys. "what's a le conch?"
she reached up and put a finger over his mouth, eyes fixed on you. "shh, they're communicating."
you rushed over to the range, joshua following behind you as you ran your hands over the polished chrome handles that you had stared at on the website for years. "and it's all hooked up?"
he nodded, eyes on you with a smile on his face. "tested it last night."
"without me?" you asked, incredulous.
he laughed. "i didn't want to ruin the surprise by burning the loft down directly after."
your finger fidgeted on the handle, looking over to joshua. he gestured for you to go ahead, and you pushed and spun the knob, lighting a burner and squealing. you shut it off again before launching yourself into a hug.
"joshua!" you wailed, arms wrapped around his neck as he laughed, putting his around your waist. "i love it so much ican'tbelieveyouboughtusafucking lacanche range in portuguese blue for no goddamn reason!"
"there was a reason!" he laughed, letting you pull away slightly to study his face. "it's a housewarming gift. i want you to know this place is yours, too, now."
you did your best to suck the tears back into the ducts they belonged in, trying to not show just how much the gesture meant to you in that way, but you were sure one escaped down your cheek when your hands went to the base of his skull, pulling him into a kiss. you forgot the context of the move. you forgot about your friends that had been excitedly crowded in your new kitchen, anticipating your over the top reaction to what they saw as just a new stove. you, however, were overwhelmed by the specifics - the fact that he had picked the color you chose most often when building your hypothetical dream stove on the website you frequented more often than you would ever admit. the fact that it matched the details on the tile of his kitchen backsplash, a detail you hadn't even noticed when you were looking at them online. the chrome vintage knobs, the layout of the burners - everything was exact to what he had seen you dream about, and you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the love and care that expressed, hoping you could tell him just how much it meant by working your lips against his.
"ok, gross," krys announced, looking away when the two of you didn't pull apart. "i'm saying goodbye to my wallpaper and we're leaving. would anyone else like to pay their respects?"
seokmin raised his hand, his eyes on the ceiling, and krys grabbed his arm and retreated towards the hall, karol telling them to hurry as soonyoung put up a hand to obstruct his view of you and joshua. when you finally pulled away, it wasn't for their reprieve, though they reacted as though it was. it was so you could look into joshua's eyes, creased with the grin on his face as you gave him a similar one, and you couldn't wait to cook with him, on your, plural, portuguese blue lacanche range, with chrome classique handles, four gas burners, a griddle, and a warming drawer. and it would be your best brunch yet.
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sambergscott · 3 years
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notes from the palm springs commentary !! 🏝
i know not everyone has access to hulu and i know i'd be gutted if i couldn’t watch it too so bc i'm lucky enough to have an american friend who let me use her hulu account i thought i'd share the commentary with you all on here <3 
- their first bit of commentary is “there’s a title” (cristin) and “there’s a goat” (andy)... 10/10 anaylsis thanks guys
- andy joked that they talked about waiting for an earthquake but decided they didn’t have the budget to wait that long (he said the glowing lights at the end were real tho 🙄)
- andy: “we’re gonna start off pretty racy” djfdjfkdjgh
- “for all those kids out there, the b99 fans, you probably don’t wanna watch this”.... but andy,, we absolutely Do
- andy was cristin’s least favourite person in the movie
- nyles spread eagle on the bed was in the script not an acting choice
- according to andy there were 700,000 bugs just hatched where they filmed the wedding scenes that they had to edit out in post (also it was suuuuuper cold and cristin was shivering)
- ANDY CALLED HIMSELF A BUTT UGLY WEIRDO. NO SIR. U ARE THE FURTHEST THING FROM THAT.
- the dance move when he clapped his hands over his head “lightly hurt his schlong”
- they had 20-30 options for orchid explosion by fournier, cristin pitched some too that she “does not remember!” (she said that very cute)
- they talk about how great june squibb is and how andy is impressed that she wasn’t complaining about the cold/shooting at 5am/the fact that they improved a lil bit.  “she doesn’t not give a what”
- during the make out scene on the rock cristin goes “ohhh ~spicy~”
- they also had to have a snake wrangler come out before they shot that scene and he was like “uhh i think it’s good?”
- andy was excited about having to get shot by an arrow when he was reading the script (it was also the moment they realised this movie was zanier than first thought)
- the cave was the same place they shot the old batman movies
- they started working on palm springs on november 9th 2016…. hence the wedding date
- cristin said they did about 30 takes (at least) of her opening her eyes/sitting up.. basically the entire first half of the first day shooting she spent doing the same thing
- “i just think you’re the coolest cristin, way to go man!” “you too andy!”
- the beer is fictional and has a meaning behind it.. the tortoise is to do with a myth about the universe or smth
- andy wants someone to make the beer fr
- “so here is cristin in the desert pretending to be hot” “he means physically” “TEMPERATURE HOT… i have no opinions on her appearance”
- they wanted to skip past the set-up-y parts to avoid it being too groundhog day and add diff dynamics and comedic elements that come from that
- according to andy, nyles has been in the loop an “insanely long time” (cristin and andy like that you don’t know the exact number of years bc however many years it’s been nothing has changed for nyles)
- cristin’s fondest memories were spending days in that dusty ass car together (i too would like to be that girl in his car)
- “i like your hat” “of course you do” was improved by andy and jk
- andy said jk is a “national treash”
- andy loved shooting the montage w jk (and he thinks that montage + the scene at the end is why jk signed up to do ps)
- “i went full butt” - andy samberg, 2021
- HE HAS A STUNT DOUBLE CALLED SETH WHO HAS A SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER BUTT THAN HIM (but andy’s butt was funnier so they went with his)
- the very last shot of the movie was nyles getting the handjob in the car
- max or other andy i can’t remember who talked for a while about how talented our andy is. can’t wait for that oscar nom!!!!!
- if andy were in a time loop he’d try to catch up on shows for a few years (and then try and leave)
- cristin is horrified that he’d choose to watch all of MASH to get him through a time loop
- cristin LOVED filming all the deaths
- andy said that their dance scene in the denim jacket replaces every iconic dance scene ever like fame/dirty dancing/etc etc and he’s right
- he dropped her in that scene bc his arms are “weak and floppy like a baby calf”
- the tattoo moment was the only fully improved scene
- they REALLY wanted it in the movie
- cristin insisted on the hook hand and eye patch and they obliged and she said she kept the hook hand and put it on her mantle and andy was like “prove it prove it prove it prove it prooooooove it”
- she did Indeed prove it
- orange in the movie significies intimacy and that whole montage is coloured orange to show them falling in love
- they loved shooting the tent scene
- the first night they filmed it there was a sandstorm and rain and they had to hide under a tarp and they came back the next night and they were able to get looser with it bc it was the last day of shooting and they’d basically done the whole thing the night before
- the dinosaurs bit was a “symbolic moment between the characters - they are 2 people who don’t believe they can be loved so they’re feeling something impossible and therefore they should see something impossible”
- the wake-ups were like an acting exercise in a way bc each wake up was diff emotionally based on where they were in the loop
- nyles finally cares about something (her) for the first time in maybe hundreds of years and he immediately gets slapped down :(((
- “suck my dick officer bitch” was cristin’s ad lib!!! (if anyone makes a montage of her life’s work she would like it to either begin or end w suck my dick officer bitch, andy said why not both)
- “for some reason i rolled up one of my sleeves [after nyles woke up after their fight] and then we couldn’t get out of it so that was a lesson! it was a terrible choice”
- andy loves the overhead pool shot
- everytime andy watches the confrontation at the wedding he feels terrible for tala, we love an empathetic king
- re: roy’s arc andy talks about how important it is to relish what you’ve got and it was v v v v sweet
- everyone laughed so hard in the arrow/garbage bin scene
- apparently tyler’s shirtlessness in the shower was distracting for people in early tests and they had to tone it back w colour correction 💀
- cristin was like “did that happen when i had to take my shirt off?” and andy was like “uh huh yeah”
- the goat was on set for a couple of days + apparently cristin would talk to it in between takes 🥺🥺🥺 can she get any cuter
- max talked about how they lucky they were to get andy and cristin and how the movie wouldn’t have worked without them, they were so on the same wavelength and there was an early meeting where nobody else could get a word in bc they were talking so much
- nobody was in it for the paycheck, “it was for the love, and dare i say it, for the art” <3
- they took 3-4 nights to shoot the entire wedding, andy can Not stress enough how much they were rushing
- they haven’t busted out any bloopers yet bc they used pretty much every frame they could/reused them in different places
- cristin doesn’t want to know if nana knows bc the mystery of it is what makes the movie so great!
- andy said there’s no definitive answer to a lot of stuff bc a lot of the people working on the movie had diff opinions
- the french song w the slo mo bit of sarah in the bar was cristin’s choice
- andy is v confused why people think spuds is nyles’ dad,, he’s just tricking him into getting a ride and andy’s sorry to everyone who thought it was real
- cristin liked that the payoff at the end felt like payoff while still staying true to who nyles and sarah are and not just super romantic bc “it’s a romcom!” [andy said throwing his arms in the air]
- cloudbursting was andy’s idea from the very first meeting about the movie but we been knew
- andy: “here’s the ending! nobody knows what it means!”
- the family at the end was the producer’s family, they drove a very long way to do that 2 second scene lol
- andy and cristin were swaying to when the morning comes at the end 🥺
- andy clapped and shouted “WELL PRODUCED” when his/tli’s credit came up hahaha
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softxhariana · 3 years
Text
34+35 live stream
description: ariana’s live stream before debut of 34+35 remix music video.
word count: 2.22k
A/N: little piece based off this live stream that ariana did in the countdown to her releasing the 34+35 remix music video with doja and megan. obvs not included every question but just a few fun bits and harry mentions for you x
also disclaimer, this is NOT real, if u don't wanna read about these two then don't, i’m not tryna act like they’re together it is fiction.
❤ anywayz hope u enjoy luvs xox
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❖   "HELLO EVERYONE! thank u for coming to this premier,” ariana smiled sweetly at the camera, as the video cut to a shot of her for the beginning of the countdown.
“we had so much fun making this 34+35 remix video for you, and uhh, we hope you love it.” she continued, playing with her hair. no matter how long she did this for she swore she would never cease to get slightly nervous in these situations. where it was her alone, in front of a camera. but her fans made her feel at ease, and she felt she owed them something, as she hadn’t done many quarantine interviews like other celebs have.
“i thought i would come celebrate and join the countdown with you guys. which is something that I've never done before, but i’m very happy to be here and i was very excited to get some questions from you all...” she held up the sheets of twitter questions she had received, “um that i’m gonna be answering while i’m here so, i cant wait to celebrate this together and countdown and answer some of your questions!” she finished with a smile.
and it was genuine. a real smile that her fans were thrilled to see.
ariana was genuinely so happy and content with her life right now. with her family, her music, her friends, harry. harry her FIANCE!! might she add.
everything just felt perfect, and after all the shit the last couple years had thrown her way, she appreciated the break.
 she got her love back, she was making music that she fully loved, and put her whole soul into, and she had fans who had stuck with her and supported her through some of the darkest times in her life, that were now able to experience her happiness and personal growth with her. so truly, little things like this, felt like the least she could do for them.
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“ohh this is a good one because its 34 35 related” she tucked her hair behind her ears, “@noirgrande said ‘ummm its just i wanna the end of 34+35 is it awww shit or nooo shit, i just wanna sing the song right”
“umm it is indeed no shit” she confirmed, smiling matter of factly at the camera before reciting the closing line of the song.
~~~~~~~~~~~
“@arianalocks1223 said ‘will we get to see the track list before the songs release?’” she paused for a second to process - which turned into a few more seconds, she was a bit slow today. she had told harry with full sincerity that she thought it was because she was getting old but he had just cracked up at her absurd statement, and told her that if that was the case he’d still think she was a milf
“you will!” she nodded with certainty, “indeed. ummm... i can tell you them now” she blurted, oops.
“i suppose thats not like... is that against the rules? can i do that?” she turned, to question scooter who was supervising off camera, not wanting to get her label mad at her for releasing too much information, something she has a tendency to do. 
after getting the nod of reassurance from him she turned back to the camera, “so out of ‘POV’, you go into, um, an interlude called ‘someone like u’. after that is a song called ‘test drive’, after that is the 34/35 remix with doja and meg” she smiles lightly, “and after that is a song called ‘worst behaviour’, and after worst behaviour is... a song called ‘main thing’...” she finishes, a shy smirk forming on her face, dimples appearing, “so that’s the tracks.” 
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continuing with the countdown, ariana felt her heart warm at the love her fans were giving her and this album. she loved interacting with them and making them happy and proud of her so knowing she had done just that, was an amazing feeling.
“umm hesbloodsline... @hesbloodsline ... i’m really fond of this question because its really to the point, ‘where's the pig and where the fuck is harry?’” she smiled, holding in a laugh.
“piggy’s here, she's great, she's really doing so well and life is really good for her right now, she's really thriving and doing her thing” she ranted, a hint of sarcasm in her voice, “um, i make her big salads everyday that she likes, she's doing really great. she asked me to stop posting her as much because she's actually really offended by a lot of your jokes that you make on twitter, she asked me to have a word with you guys” she continued to joke, well aware that she probably found herself more funny than anyone else did right now.
“she doesn't like the jokes about being eaten, they really hurt her, umm yeh, and she asked me to convey that... no she’s great...” she finally decided to answer, “and harry, is on set today, so um, yeh thats where he is... but don't worry i will tell him to keep you in the loop, i’ve got you” 
ariana unconsciously let a small smile take over her glossed lips when talking about harry. he had been so excited about this new project and seeing him passionate and happy about anything he’s doing, always made her happiest.
~~~~~~~~~~~
“nicole! @nastyctrl. nicole said ‘who helped come up with the concept for the positions music video, love u sm ari’ love you so much to, i love you so much more” she paused, she loved this story,
“um this is actually a really funny story, dave and i had been going back and forth on several different concepts, and i couldn't, like... marry one... i couldn't really, like, really commit to one, i wasn't 100% sold. and it was missing a certain element of empowerment. and i kept, you know, trying to think of things that would make it more impactful cause i wasn't loving what we had...”
“anddd then me and harry were on this huge hike, and he just turned to me and was like, ‘what if you were the president?’ which was like, not at all fitting cause i was dying and complaining the whole time. but i was like,” she tried to imitate a shocked face through her smile and laughed 
“and when i called dave he was like ‘oh... kay, ill call you guys back’ and had the whole production team redo everything, and i had mimi pull completely different outfits and we completely started over cause that idea was what i was, craving and missing. and i was like, wow, thats so perfect” she smiled, shrugging her shoulders, “so yeh, honorary directing credit to harry styles, if you liked that”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“this is from @borderlinevinyl, who said ‘how much of the album was recorded at your little home studio?’ ummm..” she sang, looking off camera in thought, everything in quarantine had honestly just blurred into one so she was struggling to remember what exactly she recorded where,
“um... a lot of it was... i think i did parts of everything here and parts of things at tommy's i know i did, um, the final chorus ad-libs for positions at home” she began listing in her head, “i know i did all of off the table at home... i know i did the final chorus of my hair at home because we- i-” oops. she had to control the laugh threatening to leave her lips at the lack of subtlety in her correction
“-i got out of the shower and he was like ‘oh your whistles are really here right now’, and i was like y’know what... yeahh they are aren’t they” she laughed as she squinted her eyes and recited that part of the conversation, even trying to imitate his deeper accent.
she had been singing in the shower - as she always did - and harry joining her never seemed to stop her from belting out any whitney or old one direction classic she wanted to. he would even join in sometimes and they'd end up with their own mini concert, dancing around naked, shampoo and conditioner bottles in hand singing their hearts out to everything from high school musical to nicki minaj to fleetwood mac.
while it felt like too bold of statement to make as she truly revelled in and enjoyed everything they did together, showering with him was truly one of her favourite’s. whether it was steamy shower sex that had all glass surfaces in the room fogging up or letting loose and dancing and singing under the pouring water, every moment felt so intimate and sacred. it truly made her feel like they were they only people in the world. 
of course he would claim she was out singing him every time she whistled and would jokingly try to replicate the note but he was truly just in awe off the sounds that came from her mouth (in all senses of the word;)
"-and so i opened ‘my hair’ and just randomly did that” she continued, “um what else did i do here, i did the a lot of the backgrounds and ad-libs for 34+35 here, um, obvious was done at home, a lot of six-thirty was done at home”
caught in her own thoughts she only realised she had probably been droning on for too long when she caught scooters eye across the room and with a blush she shook her head as if to clear it, “this is an annoying answer, everything was kind of all over the place but i did a lot, a lot, a lot of the vocals for the album at the house" she finally finished the long answer, moving on quickly as she realised she didn't have long until the premiere and she wanted to answer as many of the questions as possible.
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“ok, second last question from hannah, ever- @everdxystxless, im sorry i don't know how to pronounce that” she laughs looking up at the camera with wide eyes, not sure how exactly how she was supposed to go about pronouncing the username, 
“im sorry, um, but anyway she say’s ‘ari baby, how do you feel about harry getting to do a movie with florence pugh, we know your a big fan of hers, ps. i love you so much!’ well hannah, i love you too” she replies, as she thinks back to when harry first introduced the two, after she had gotten over the initial fangirling, the pair became amazing friends. florence struck ariana as such a genuine, loving person and they shared the same dry sense of humour. plus ariana might of been just a little obsessed with her accent - not that she would ever admit that and scare the girl off.
“and... um, yeah, it literally, made me beyond happy, i was fully like, fangirling when i met her the first time” she laughs as she plays with her hair, “she honestly, probably was like, ‘who the fuck is this girl? what is she doing?’”ariana imitated, a faux scared/weirded out look on her face, playing the part of a mildly pissed off florence - which she luckily had never been on the receiving end of, “im sure i was being the opposite of subtle about it but, no, she really truly is the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful, talented human being” she emphasises, the thought of any news outlets of fan’s trying to spin a ‘jealousy’ story about this making her internally role her eyes,
“midsommar is, like, one of my all time favourite movies, and she's amazing in it, and harry’s like so fucking lucky its crazy. so yeah, thats insane”
~~~~~~~~~
"...so yeah... thank you so much! this was so much fun!” ariana exclaimed as she wrapped up the Q&A, smiling wide at the camera, she knew her fans were going to love the music video and she couldn't wait for them to watch it, plus interacting with them in this way always made her happy.
“i love you guys, i miss you” she reminded, “i am so appreciative of everything you've done for this album, for these singles, for this music. i hope that, um, that this makes you super happy, i hope it makes you smile...we had so much fun shooting it and um, the girls are so fantastic, so i hope you love this and i hope you love the deluxe!” 
ariana didn't know how many more ways she could say thank you and express her gratitude but she still had over a minute and a half so she’d have to come up with something, even if it meant she’d sound like a broken record
“i am so thankful for everything and for the love that you've shown this music i cant even begin to articulate it properly so, thank you! i appreciate it so much” she breathed out all in one, “but anyway, the video should be starting soon, so... i hope you like it, don't refresh! it’ll be here soon... i promise... just don't refresh” she urged dramatically, she was really dragging this out, “but yeh” she got out through laughs “the video should be starting anytime now, i love you guys” she blew a kiss to the camera before moving as close to the lens as possible “byee”.
🖤 there u go!! i hope you liked it, and any feedback would always always be welcomed and so so appreciated pls and thanku x 
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elsanna-shenanigans · 3 years
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August Contest Submission #18: The Concrete Rose
Words: ca. 5,500 Setting: mAU Lemon: No CW: Angst, brief Hansanna
October 12, 2019
From the second Elsa saw her roommate, she knew she would become her muse.
Douglas Academy of the Arts produced hundreds of graduates every year already with an astounding, artistic reputation. Anyone that had a future in the arts ran through Douglas Academy first. But that prestige came at a price, success at all costs meant that almost everyone was cold and cutthroat; no one was a classmate, everyone was competition.
It was a mantra that all the students bought into except for two people: Elsa and her roommate Anna. From a simple handshake and a peace offering in the form of a chocolate bar (“The vending machine accidentally gave me two, how lucky is that?!”), Anna stood out from everyone else in Elsa’s eyes.
They became quick friends despite how drastically different they were. Elsa was reserved and stayed in her head a lot, Anna loved people and spoke every thought that came to her. Elsa was constantly second-guessing her decisions and had a keen eye for details, Anna was more impulsive and loved seeing the bigger picture. Elsa was a sculptor who kept her works secret until they were finished, Anna was a dancer who would always post videos of her practicing for her latest performance.
The one thing they had in common was their need to support the other.
One day well into their first semester, Anna barged into Elsa’s room with a flyer that she’d gotten in almost all her classes: an advertisement for the 3-D Art Showcase in three weeks. “You’re doing this, right?” she asks, pushing the flyer in front of Elsa’s face. “You’re entering a thingie into the thing?”
Elsa plucked the flyer out of Anna’s hands and turned back around in her chair, “Not a chance. I heard first years get eaten alive at these showcases, I’ll wait until next year.”
“Oh come on! You’d kick so much ass if you entered something. Remember that clay canary you made me?” Anna pressed her palms against Elsa’s shoulders, which almost knocked the pencil out of the unexpecting sculptor’s hands.
Elsa shook her head, “That was different. I’d have to make like… something fancy and intricate if I want to even be considered for the showcase.”
“Well, can’t you at least try? Please?” Anna slid her hands down so she could wrap her arms around Elsa’s shoulders from behind. “I can help you just like you helped me while I was rehearsing my first interpretive dance.”
It took a while for Elsa to get used to Anna’s touchiness, but she learned to accept it. This was just another thing that added to Anna’s eclectic personality, and besides Elsa was a big fan of the rosemary body wash she was using. “Anna, all I did was press play on your speaker.”
“Which helped out a lot!” Anna assured her. “You know how much energy I could have wasted doing that myself?”
“… not a lot?”
“Just think about joining, okay? Knowing you, I bet you probably have like five ideas running through your head and when you pick one, I’ll do whatever I can to help turn that idea into something concrete.”
Well if thinking about it was all that Anna was asking her to do, then Elsa could do that. Less commitment that way. And she was right, of course, there were five ideas floating around in Elsa’s mind but none of them she could latch on to and say that that was the one to work on. “Alright fine,” she said after a dramatically heavy sigh, “I’ll think about it.”
“That’s my girl! Oh shit, I’m gonna be late for rehearsal!” Anna sprinted out of Elsa’s room to grab her dancing shoes. Before slamming their shared door shut, she said, “If you eat my spaghetti, I’ll kill you!”
November 5, 2019
There was something that Anna told her that day which stuck with Elsa much more than she thought it would.
Turning an idea into something concrete.
What if she sculpted something out of concrete? It was a near guarantee that a lot of the sculptors entering the showcase would be using clay, recycled metals, or wood; using concrete would probably help her stand out and better her chances of being picked. After a researching how to make this work, and some choice words of encouragement and dancing from Anna, Elsa set to work getting everything she needed for her crazy idea.
There was still, of course, one glaring problem: What was she going to sculpt?
Her answer came to her during Anna’s first performance of the semester. It was an interpretive dance that told the story of a young gladiator fighting for the freedom of his sister who was enslaved by a vindictive landowner. Her ability to tell this story without words (not even in the song she chose) wowed the audience and inspired Elsa as she waited for every beat of the story she’d seen Anna tell maybe a hundred times in their dorm.
Elsa decided to recreate one of the poses Anna did where she jumped in the air and punched her arm out like she was thrusting a spear into an unseen adversary. It was a painstaking process that tested her dexterity and her patience even more so, she shut herself in her room until it was finished. In the end, the sculpture was much smaller than she wanted it to be because she underestimated how much concrete mix she actually needed. And a piece of Anna’s skirt chipped off because it refused to stick to the wire mesh. Still, overall she was very impressed with herself.
And so it seemed was the showcase committee, because she was given one of the last remaining spots on the showcase floor.
Elsa somehow found a way to keep Anna from seeing it beforehand, so when she went with her roommate to the showcase, her reaction was genuine.
Anna gasped, “Holy shit, is this me?! She’s so pretty!”
Everyone in the building looked at them with judgmental glares, especially the judges. Elsa didn’t mind all that much, she wasn’t expecting to take a ribbon home, this was more about proving she could hang with Douglas’ best and to thank Anna for supporting her these past few months.
“I ran out of time to add details to the face, so I kept it blank,” Elsa explained. “I hope it doesn’t look too creepy.”
Anna shook her head, “No, I love it! It’s like… it fits so much with Henry’s character, the gladiator I mean. He presents himself as this nobody that could be anybody, like Henry is just a faceless idea, but he stands for justice and integrity, which can speak to anyone.”
Elsa smiled, her heart fluttering from the feeling of being understood. “I’m glad you were able to see that. I think I’ll steal that explanation when the judges come over.”
“Fine, but if you win a ribbon then you’re buying me dinner. For believing in you and for being your muse.”
“Pssh, you are not my muse.” How in the world did Anna already know that?
Anna squeezed Elsa’s shoulders and smiled, her eyes seeing right past Elsa’s thin resistance. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Michaelangelo.”
The judges came around a few minutes later to ask her some questions and write notes on their clipboards. Anna wanted to talk her roommate up so badly but settled on providing moral support right next to Elsa as she answered the questions concisely and with the professionalism that got her into Douglas Academy in the first place.
She didn’t win a ribbon, but decided to take Anna out to dinner anyway.
December 26, 2019
“I think concrete should be your thing,” Anna said before taking another long sip of her hot chocolate.
“My thing?” Elsa asked.
“Yeah, like the thing that makes you stand out from everyone else. The thing you’re known for. Da Vinci had his inventions and paintings, Degas painted ballet dancers, you could be the concrete rose.”
Elsa chuckled, “Concrete rose? That sounds more like you than it sounds like me.”
Anna gasped, “Why Ms. Elsa, you best be careful or I might just take that as a compliment.”
“Uhh you should because it was.” Elsa gently kicked her foot forward to keep the front porch swinging. They drank their hot chocolates in silence, relishing in that post-Christmas bliss. Elsa’s family was always a little more dysfunctional around the holidays, but when Anna told her she’d be spending her Christmas in the dorms she knew that couldn’t happen. Her best friend deserved a real Christmas for the first time in forever.
When their mugs were empty, Anna spoke again, “Thank you for letting me come with you. I… maybe I would have felt a little lonelier this Christmas. And I’m happy that I’m not.”
“Anna, you’re my best friend- heck, you’re like the sister I never had. I can’t leave my sister hanging, you know?” The confession is so raw and unusual for Elsa that it doesn’t feel right coming from her lips at first, but the more this moment sat the better it felt.
She looked to Anna, her red cheeks were a sign that the cold was finally getting to her. “I had a lot of foster siblings growing up… none of them liked me all that much.”
“Well that’s their loss.”
“Thank you, Elsa. Really. Everything you do means a lot to me, I hope you know that.”
Elsa smiled and tapped her shoe against Anna’s, “Everything you do means a lot to me too.”
Anna brought the empty mug back to her lips. “So, if we’re sisters, does that mean I get to steal your clothes and burst into your room to tell you stupid nonsense?”
“You mean you don’t already do that now?” The force that Anna pushed her with almost sent Elsa off the porch swing.
October 21, 2020
Elsa and Anna complemented each other’s strengths in a way neither of them ever expected. The 3-D showcases happened four times a year, and Elsa entered every one of them with the support of Anna. There were also four major dance performances throughout the year, and Anna entered every one of them with Elsa’s support.
Anna had taken second place for interpretive dancing at the last competition, but Elsa was still looking for her first major win. She felt confident, however, in her entry for the upcoming showcase.
“I mean I love it of course, but it’s ambitious,” Anna said while looking over Elsa’s sketch. “How are you gonna carve out the bird and the cage at the same time?”
“I was thinking of making the cage and bird separate, and then putting them together,” Elsa answered. “If I get the dimensions right, I can hammer some nails underneath the cage so it stays put.”
“Hmm, alright well you sound like you know what you’re doing.” Anna handed back the sketch. “And I’m gonna support you a hundred percent. No matter what.”
“I know you will,” Elsa said while putting her arm around Anna’s shoulder. “… I think this is the one.”
“I think so too,” Anna said proudly. “And when you come back with a ribbon-”
“You’re buying me dinner.”
Anna gasped and wriggled out of her best friend’s arm, “Rude!”
Elsa rolled her eyes, “Oh please, half my budget is spent feeding you. I’m sure you can afford to buy me dinner one time.”
She saw the gears turning in Anna’s mind, trying to come up with a rebuttal, but in the end she groaned and said, “Fine, I’ll take your bum ass out for dinner, sis.”
Elsa worked harder than she ever had before, inspired once again from seeing Anna’s latest performance. It was a soliloquy in dance form, about a bird who’d spent their entire life on the move and in the hands of many owners, but never once being allowed out of its cage. It paralleled Anna’s life story: the foster child from New York who was only getting her first taste of freedom now. She paid special attention to the bird’s eyes, wanting them to emulate the longing and ambition she saw in her best friend.
The process resulted in a lot of tiny cuts and a couple of sleepless nights, but it was all worth it in the end. She won second place at the showcase.
True to her word, Anna took her out for dinner that very night on the condition that Elsa wear the obnoxiously huge, red ribbon. They had to stick it on her shirt with a safety pin. “Alright, where does Madame Second Place want to go for dinner?” Anna asked, dressed in an adorable skirt and blouse combo.
“I was kinda joking, you know?” Elsa said. “You don’t actually have to buy me dinner.”
“Oh please, you can’t get cold feet now. I mean you’re already wearing the ribbon, that’s like… I don’t know, it’s like when your high school prom date puts the corsage on you. It’s official, no backing out.”
Elsa raised an eyebrow, “What so you’re my prom date now?”
Anna pursed her lips, “Well maybe not for prom, it’s too late for that. But I’ll be your date if you want me to.”
That answer leaves Elsa speechless.
“Ooh, I know where we can go!” Anna added before Elsa could finish catching up to the millions of thoughts running through her mind. “There’s this really good Mexican place downtown. I heard they sell this burrito that’s the size of your forearm, and I have long forearms so I wanna see that. Sound good?”
Elsa blinked and said absently, “Yeah, let’s go.” They walked side by side to Anna’s car, all the while Elsa pretended she wasn’t seeing her best friend in a brand new light.
May 15, 2020
It’s a scary feeling to know that you’re in love with your best friend. Even scarier when you’ve considered them your sister for almost two years now. It’s like being strapped in to the world’s best roller coaster against your will. Sometimes it’s exhilarating and you think maybe this isn’t so bad, but most of the time you’re screaming and want to get off.
Elsa’s been on the same damn ride for months now and it hasn’t gotten any easier. But she’s accepted it, which is something she never expected.
All of Anna’s errant touches, her smiles and glances, and even just the way she says “we”… Elsa has second-guessed each and every single one of her behaviors. And yes, she would probably stop overthinking if she’d just talk to Anna but she doesn’t know how. It’s hard enough trying to have a regular conversation with her now, it’s nearly impossible approaching her with a talk about their feelings.
And even so, she’s accepted the fact that she’s fallen in love with her best friend. For the past two years, they’ve been nearly inseparable, there’s no one in the world she knows better or cares about more than Anna. Falling in love with her felt almost inevitable.
But did Anna feel the same way? Well, she’d find out soon.
For the last 3-D showcase of their second year, Elsa had been working on a particularly special project. It didn’t have to do specifically with Anna’s last performance, but it was dedicated to her nonetheless.
Rising from a slab of concrete, she sculpted out a finely detailed rose, complete with a realistic crack where the stem breaks out and defined petals spiraling into the rosebud. It represented Anna’s ability to grow and flourish from a life of a constantly uncertain home life and rough nights on the streets.
At the base of the concrete slab, she wrote ‘For Anna, for everything’. When Anna notices the inscription, that’s when Elsa would tell her how she feels.
She shut herself out from the world for a particularly long time; Anna only saw her when they were walking to classes together, and even then Elsa remained tight-lipped so as to not spoil the surprise. Her patience had to be rewarded, she figured, or else this would have all been for nothing.
When the showcase finally arrived, Elsa waited anxiously for Anna to show up. She said she would be running late because she needed to meet someone, but that was fine because it gave Elsa more time to figure out what she’d say to the judges. Which in turn helped keep her from pacing around the showcase floor like a lonely, lovesick puppy.
When the judges came, she defended the lack of complex expression and vibrancy of her piece by quoting Henry David Thoreau’s opinion on simplicity. And she covered the etching with her hand because that was one question she’d rather not answer just yet. At least not to them. The judges looked impressed with her answers and one of them even mentioned that she had a knack for giving life to her sculptures. The high from that compliment should have lasted her throughout the entire day, but it was shot down almost immediately.
When the judges left, she saw Anna walking towards her. But she wasn’t alone, she was with a guy.
And they were holding hands.
“I’m so sorry I’m late, I was waiting for this guy to get his fucking shoes on.” Anna patted the guy’s chest with a coy smile. He was tall, proper, and with fashionably thick sideburns. The way he wore his t-shirt and jeans looked awkward, as if he was ripped straight from a 19th century portrait and was forced to wear modern clothes to blend in.
“Hey in my defense, I didn’t know I was going to the showcase until you texted me like half an hour ago,” he said while wrapping her arm around Anna’s shoulders.
“Lies. And propaganda.” Anna turned to Elsa with a softer smile on her lips, which was just another hit to Elsa’s already bruising heart. “Again, I’m sorry I was late but I figured it was time for you two to meet. Elsa, this is Hans. We’ve been dating for a month now.”
A month?
A… a month.
Elsa’s doing her best to remain polite and cordial, but it’s hard when her entire body feels like it’s crumbling onto the floor. She extends a hand out anyway, wincing when Hans takes it with more strength than she’s expecting. “It-It’s nice to meet you, Hans. Anna’s lucky to have you around.” The words come out of her mouth like a rejected poison.
Anna talked some more, so did Hans, and maybe Elsa nodded and smiled when she needed to, but for the life of her she couldn’t tell you what the hell they talked about. When it came time for the… couple to examine Elsa’s sculpture, Anna beamed at her with that same pride that was on her face since day one and Hans said she did a good job. Elsa kept her hand over the inscription the entire time.
She won another second place ribbon. When Anna noticed the inscription, Elsa said it was a thank you for being a wonderful friend. Each word felt like pulling teeth.
September 4, 2020
They met at the campus coffee shop while Elsa was isolating herself. Ironically, Anna was going there to get a hot chocolate to surprise Elsa.
She brought Anna and Hans together.
It was a very lonely summer for Elsa. Since Hans lived in New Jersey, it wasn’t that hard for him to visit Anna whenever he wanted, which is exactly what he did. They spent almost every moment of the summer together, and while Elsa pretended to be happy with getting texts, the occasional phone call, and a surprise weekend visit from her best friend, none of it could stop the constant ache in her heart.
Move-in day for their third year was especially brutal, she unpacked absentmindedly while listening to Anna and Hans joke around and kiss when they thought she wasn’t looking. She tried all summer to let go of the feelings for Anna and to just be happy for her, but it felt like the more she tried, the more she held on.
“Alright, that’s the last box.” Anna wiped her hands on her jeans and looked at Elsa and then at Hans. “Let me just change out of this gross, sweaty shirt and we can get something to eat?”
“Of course, babe.” Hans kissed her and walked out of the girls’ dorm, Elsa finally let go of the breath she’d held since they started moving their stuff in.
“You’re coming with us, right?” Anna asked.
Elsa wasn’t expecting her to to talk to her, and she had to take a second for her mouth to catch up with her mind. “Uh no that’s okay,” she finally replied. “You two enjoy yourself, I want to unpack all of my stuff before I eat.”
Anna raised an eyebrow, “Are you sure? If you’re worried about being a third wheel, trust me it’s not gonna be like that.”
Elsa tapped her fingers on the stacked boxes in front of her. “No, I’m just not hungry yet. That’s all.”
“Well… alright, but I’ll bring you back some food and I won’t take no for an answer.” Anna peeled off her shirt and disappeared in her room to find a new one. From somewhere inside the room, she added, “We’ll hang out sometime soon okay? Just the two of us.”
October 1, 2020
'Sometime soon’ turned out to be nearly a month later. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but with the third year at Douglas being notoriously difficult, they needed to spend a little more time adjusting to the bigger workload and busier schedules. And any free time Anna did have was taken up by Hans…
Elsa continued to pretend to be okay, and she actually relished how busy their third year was going to be because it gave her something else to think about. A six-page essay on contour ate up time she was going to spend thinking about the sexual innuendo Hans was 'accidentally’ adding to him and Anna’s conversations.
The busy times couldn’t last forever, though, and Anna and Elsa finally found some time to spend together- just the two of them- one night on top of one of Douglas’ parking garages. It was a place they’d gone to many times just to get away from the staunch air of pressure and competition in every corner of every building underneath them. This was a place for them to breathe, a home away from a home away from home.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been around as much lately,” Anna said, breaking the silence from their lack of conversation. “It’s just that this is the first relationship I’ve been in and… I don’t know, it’s exciting and new. Not that things aren’t like that with you, it’s just-”
“Anna, you don’t have to apologize. Whatever time I get to spend with you is just fine.” Elsa bites her tongue before she can say that she still wishes she had more time with Anna.
“I just don’t want you to feel like I’m neglecting you, that’s all.”
“Well, you’re not, so it’s okay. I’m okay.”
“Okay…” Anna scooted closer to her, their bare elbows touching made the nerves in Elsa’s arm tingle and send shockwaves through her entire body. “Sooooo, you want to know what I’m doing for my next performance? You know, so you can start figuring out what you’re gonna do for the showcase.”
Elsa looked away, “I don't… I think I’m gonna skip the showcase this time.” She wanted to say she was going to skip the showcase this year, but that would have set off too many alarms in Anna’s head. She could deal with the one alarm she saw going off behind her best friend’s eyes.
“How come?” she asked.
“It just looks like it’s gonna be a real busy year, and I think I need to focus on getting through it. Once I can do that, then I can start thinking about sculpting again.”
“I… see.” Anna looked out across the campus. “And that’s the only reason?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” Elsa wondered if there was something she said, or some visible part of her full of pain that she’d forgotten to cover up.
Anna shrugged, “No reason. Just wondering.”
Elsa didn’t have it in her to pry, so she also went back to looking at the buzzing nightlife of Douglas Academy. With luck, they wouldn’t have to address this ever again.
November 30, 2020
Luck remained on Elsa’s side for nearly two months, and then they returned from Thanksgiving Break. Anna had declined her invitation to spend Thanksgiving with her, and instead she spent it with Hans’ family. Who, as it turned out, was exceptionally rich.
Anna spent a good hour gushing over their massive house with the hot tubs (plural) and rooms as big as their whole dorm, and then talked about all the people that were there for Thanksgiving dinner and how amazing the food was. Knowing Anna’s struggles, Elsa tried to remain supportive while she gushed over Hans and his family and his really nice house. And then she said something that should have remained a thought.
“Sounds like you dodged a bullet not joining me for Thanksgiving.”
Anna pounced on that out-of-character remark immediately. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Gosh, what could she say that wouldn’t sound passive-aggressive? Elsa decided on, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that. I’m really glad you had a good time on break.”
For a second, that looked like it would work. And then Anna closed her eyes and sighed, “Oh god… you don’t like Hans.”
Elsa didn’t say anything, which is the worst thing she could have said.
“Elsa, we’ve been going out for months now. Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“I…I guess I…”
Anna sighed and waved her hand, “Never mind, I guess it doesn’t matter. Look, I like you both so I don’t want things to feel awkward or whatever. What can I do to help? I want you to like Hans so that things don’t suck between us.”
There’s nothing Anna needed to do, this was a problem that Elsa had to deal with on her own. That’s what she wanted to say to her best friend. But instead, there was another disconnect between her brain and her mouth and she said something that was bound to make things worse, “You don’t even know why I don’t like him.”
Anna nodded, “You’re right. So why don't you like him?”
Elsa wrung her hands together, “Anna, we shouldn’t talk about this.”
“What? But you’re the one that brought it up.”
“I know, but it’s just not… this won’t end well.”
“Is this one of those things where the protective older sister hates every guy her sister dates and thinks that no one’s good enough for her?”
“No,” Elsa replied. And under her breath, she muttered, “I wish.”
“Elsa, we’re the only two people in your room. I heard that.” She scooted across the bed to get closer to Elsa, their fingers nearly touching were enough for Elsa to feel like her arm was on fire. “Just… tell me what’s wrong. Please?”
Though it felt like the wrong thing to do, Elsa pulled her hand away. “I don’t know if I can,” she replied. “Can we drop it please? For now?”
“… okay.”
December 13, 2020
This was the longest time Elsa and Anna had gone without talking to each other. Sure, they were polite and fake when Hans was hanging out in their dorm, and they still said good morning and whatnot to each other, but they hadn’t made an effort to really talk to each other in two weeks.
Knowing this was her fault, Elsa set out to craft an apology to Anna. After deciding on recreating the canary she made her during their first year, this time in concrete, she went to work quickly on creating the mesh outline for it. One night, during this process, she heard a knock on her door. A knock that could only belong to one person.
She took a deep breath and then opened her door. “Hey Anna,” she said far too generically.
“Do you love me?”
Elsa tensed up so much she almost tore her doorknob off. Any answer would have been a good one, but instead she remained frozen in silence.
“Hans and I had a fight and he said…well I mean he thought that… areyou in love with me?”
Still as a statue, much like the concrete rose Anna’s holding in her hand, Elsa somehow found her voice long enough to say, “Anna, I didn't…”
Anna nodded, and in the darkness of their shared loft Elsa could finally see that her best friend had been crying recently. “I should have known. I’m sorry.” She walked away, pressing the concrete rose closer to her chest, and disappeared into her room.
January 20, 2021
Though their relationship had hit an all-time low, Elsa felt it was wrong not going to Anna’s performance. She still very much wanted to support her best friend even if they still weren’t talking all that much. But Anna smiled at her the other day and that… gave Elsa hope somehow? Either way, it was enough to get her to stop being a coward and show up to the performance.
She arrived at the auditorium just in time to see Anna walk on to the stage, but not with enough time to find a seat. So she stood by the entrance awkwardly as the music began playing through the speakers. What conspired for the next five minutes was the most poignant expression of heartbreak and longing that Elsa had ever seen in dance form.
It started off as a simple ballroom dance, and though Anna had no partner you wouldn’t realize it in the way she moved. But her mystery partner continued to pull away no matter how many times Anna chased after them. When the partner disappeared, Anna continued to dance alone and while her moves were perfect and calculated, she let her posture slump with every break in the song. By the end, she’s nearly dragging herself along the floor hoping to make it to the end of the song, all the while reaching out for someone. Something. The song ends with her laying on the floor breathing heavily and the audience erupting in applause.
And for the first time in a very long time, Elsa felt a jolt of inspiration.
February 15, 2021
Elsa sat by the base of her sculpture. The judges had come to talk to her long ago and spectators were slowly trickling out of the building, but she couldn’t leave yet. In fact, she’d wait all night long for Anna if she had to. The note she left underneath Anna’s door even said so.
This had to be the fastest yet most detailed sculpture she’d ever created and there were no doubts as to what inspired her. Time continued to tick away, and Elsa continued to sit.
Finally, after an eternity, she saw the familiar silhouette of her best friend walking through the door. She was wearing the same skirt and blouse that made Elsa fall in love with her in the first place.
Quietly, Anna closed the gap until they were a couple of feet apart. “I got your note,” she said softly.
Elsa nodded, “I watched your performance.”
“Oh, I… I’m sorry. I didn’t see you.”
“I was in the back of the auditorium. But it was beautiful, I’ve never seen anyone move like you do. I’ve never seen anyone express heartbreak like you did.” Elsa wrung her hands together, “I’m sorry if this is inappropriate, but did you and Hans…”
Anna nodded, “A couple of months ago, actually. But my performance, it… wasn’t about him.”
“It wasn’t?”
“No, it…” Anna took her first glimpse at Elsa’s sculpture and it completely threw her off. “Oh my god.”
Immortalized in concrete was Anna in a stunning ball gown, her face content while she swayed in the arms of her dance partner. Except unlike the gladiator sculpture, Anna’s partner was completely visible.
And it was Elsa.
“I know it’s a little forward, but it didn’t feel right having you dance alone,” Elsa replied. And with much less confidence, she added, “Is that okay?”
Anna looked at her, confusion settled on her face. But then that confusion chipped away slowly but surely until a beautiful smile was seen in its place. “It’s perfect,” Anna replied, “Y-you did it again.”
Elsa blushed, “Well, I do have a pretty wonderful muse.”
“Well, I think that muse owes you dinner. What do you say?” Anna reached out her hand, eyes telling her that this was what she wanted.
“She doesn’t owe me anything.” Elsa took her hand and a lovely, warm feeling enveloped her. “But I’d be glad to go with her.”
Anna squeezed her hand and said, “Then it’s a date.”
Elsa’s sculpture won first place that day.
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hoe-for-yukhei · 4 years
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Clean Freak Idol BF taeyong — Soloist [fem] reader
Everybody knows the tea between 10th floor and 5th floor.
Then there's Taeyong.
"We are here because we want to talk about the most awaited collaboration of the most iconic ship in the kpop industry, before we talk about your new mini album 'NO HISTORY' let me ask you guys a question first. The whole world knew you two used to date, isn't it awkward to work with each other?"
Man, what is this girl saying?
Taeyong and I stared at each other and laughed.
"Hahahahaha what are you guys laughing about? hahahaha"
The audacity to ask us.
Before inviting guests into your show, please dig some information about them.
"No hahaha sorry it's just so funny. Such a ridiculous question."
Taeyong stopped you for saying anything blunt, you have this image that you're straightforward and blunt, and to others they see it as rude.
You're not doing it for clout or to be savage wannabe, that's just who you are.
"No, we didn't broke up, we just lived apart. We moved out of our dorms and shared an apartment. But we didn't take it well so we moved back in."
Really taeyong? We didn't BROKE UP? interesting..
"Why? What didn't work out for the two of you?"
Oh let me tell you the story.
"Taeyong what are you doing? Stop covering your face! smile!"
"Eh-Andwae! I just woke up!"
What is he talking about?
Bare faced Taeyong is art.
Everyone who gets to see him fresh out of bed is so blessed, this would add 10,000,000+ on your lifespan.
"Oppa you stopped eating, Isn't the dish good?"
"Yes it's good! You should try that side dish too! I was just thinking about something."
Here we go again.
Taeyong is zoning out lately, I thought he's worrying about the NCT comeback, yearbook and all but turns out he isn't.
"What is it? Tell me hmm?"
"I was thinking, since we're already dating for 5 years why won't we live together already? I mean we're already in the right age and all."
Hmm I haven't thought about that.
"Why? Aren't you happy here with the members? And besides you have the whole room to yourself it's just like having your own house. Why need one?"
"Of course I'm happy. We grew up together and I treat them as biological brothers.. it's not about them. I want to start a life with you.. but if you don't want to then fine with me.."
"What do you mean I don't want to? I would love to move in with you. But heads up honey I'm a living mess. It will drive you nuts clean freak."
Everyone knows he's a clean freak. Aesthetic, spotless, and organized. He can't stand dirt. He's the type of guy who always bathe unlike jungwoo, the guy who would always wear gloves when handling food and dishes unlike jaehyun and yuta who uhh never you know what,he has sheets on his bed (and it's white as fuck no creases and lints jaehyun has been slapped hard),the guy who gets cranky when his clothes are not handled right so he ends up doing laundry everyday, he's also the guy who praises febreeze. Febreeze is his life,addiction,religion and many more.
Yes he loves febreeze more than me.
2 years went by like a bliss. Everything's good.
Actually too good.
We spent happy days together loving each other more as time passes by until he can't take it all anymore.
He knelt to the ground and pulled a ring and said 
"Marry me y/n."
"T-taeyong.."
"I know I know.. but please hear me out. y/n we spent 7 years together full of love,laughs,and cries. I know you're finally going to have your debut next week and can't be seen in a relationship for like 2 years, but I can't take it anymore I don't want to lose you..this industry is fucked up y/n.Just please promise me you'll hold on to me.. to us.."
"Of course. You're my rod in this dark world without you I'll be lost. I'll forever hold on you. But you sure this isn't an engagement ring?"
"*sighs; you know it's not. I really want to but I already know the answer after I proposed for you like 3 times already. You're not yet ready.. but I'll wait."
"I'm sorry taeyong–"
"No don't say sorry I understand"
You were both in the right age but still young to marry.. and both of your careers are not helping.
NCT PROJECT again. You're happy for Taeyong, he really likes it whenever the whole 23 of them perform together.
But also pitied him.
"What is wrong with you two?! I expected better than this. You better composed some good ones or I'll give back the job to  composers."
"No sir, I really want to participate again in composing I can give you a better one—"
"Then do it. I want it done by next week. I only let you boys play composer and lyricist again because the crowd wants to. You get me Johnny? Taeyong?"
It's the 6th time this week. You always pass by the room because it's in the same way of the recording studio. He was getting yelled at again.
And again.
And again. 
Taeyong's been stressed for the whole 2months. Johnny and he were told they could participate in producing the album.
At last they can express themselves.
Johnny really wants to write songs but never given the opportunity to. So Johnny and he are working hard. Knowing SM they're controlling as ever this means it's a one and only lifetime opportunity. 
His dog died. His best friend and buddy.
The warm condolences of his fans comforted him. He's thankful to have them.
Y/n's first ever single is coming out. You have been pretty busy too. Recordings, photoshoots,MV filming etc. And SM and fans are breathing down your neck everytime you move.
Some anti spread fake rumors about you. Usually you'll ignore it but right now is different. Being new to this industry brought pressure to you and you don't know what to do but just cry..
You saw a cat. You always love cats, they calm you down. It gives comfort to you. You decided to bring it home to your shared space with taeyong.
You did him a favor and put a little spice in his composition then while drinking your hot chocolate you were called by your mother leaving the cat,the chocolate and the house you hurried to the hospital.
Stressed ate taeyong. He's frustrated at the moment he wants to shout and cry his heart out.
The 8th song they made just got rejected. again.
It's the last draw and they can't participate in writing on the album anymore. Mark, xiaojun and taeil got injured while practicing,the new choreographer is a dick. A stubborn stylist doesn't follow anyone's instruction causing jaehyun to be called out because of his hair and the management wants them to do nothing. Some anti is making fun of his dog's death and a sasaeng is following him right now.
The house is where he rests,it's his favorite place .
But now it isn't.
The house is a fucking mess.
Dishes on sink
Furs on sofas and floor
Chocolate drink spilled on the carpeted floor of his work space.
The computer is on
Somebody touched his music
The air smelled like a stray dog or cat
Shits on his pile of clothes and a cat is napping on the end of the bed.
Lee. Taeyong. Mad.
He's angry asf.
"Oh hey taeyong you are home?? How was your da-"
"What is that?"
"A cat?"
"and that?"
"My drink.."
"That?"
"Dishe–okay what is your point?"
"Nothing.  Just you being a pig."
"Wh-what?.."
"You're disgusting. Be ashamed of yourself y/n can't believe a woman doesn't know how to take care of a house."
"What's wrong with you?! That's so sexist!"
"What's wrong with me?! Your stupid new cat shitted on my clothes! The house is shit! Everything's shit! Even you! You messed up my song!"
"Taeyong calm down there was an emergency and about your song i-"
"shut up y/n! I'm tired! The last thing I want to see is a dumpsite! I have to keep up shits at work and I have to keep up with your everyday shits too?! I'm so sick! It looks like the house isn't the only one that needs cleaning. My life too.. I can't believe I put up with a garab6e like you. You should've been taken out a long time ago—"
"The only shit here is you."
You took your new cat and went.
Your grandmother died. That's the emergency.
It's heartbreaking and with taeyong earlier the last hanging piece of your heart shattered completely.
You went back to your own place, you ask hae-un a friend of yours who's a model under the same entertainment to get all your stuff in your house. 
She came back with seong-hyun his boyfriend carrying boxes and bags.
"Y/n.. take a break..I'm here for you."
"He wants to talk to you y/n. he said he was—"
"SEONG-HYUN!STOP!"
"okay.. I understand. Everything will be fine y/n hae-un and I will never leave you. We'll get through this together just like the old days.."
"Thank-you.."
Hae-un take care of your things at work. You decided to wake up from the slump and change labels,made depression your motivation, you skyrocketed. Soon after many articles about you were made.
“솔로이스트 Y/N L/N은 왜 SM 엔터테인먼트를 떠났을까?”
(Why did Soloist Y/N L/N leave SM entertainment?)
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"할머니의 갑작스러운 죽음으로 솔로이스트 Y/N이 망했다. '나는 망연자실했다. 어떻게 해야 할지..' "
(Soloist Y/N went hiatus due to Grandmother's sudden death
"I was devastated. I don't know to do..")
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"솔로 퀸 Y/N L/N 7년 동안 NCT 이태용과 데이트 했었다고?!"
(SOLO QUEEN Y/N L/N USED TO DATE NCT LEE TAEYONG FOR 7 YEARS?!)
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"엘, 채널, 헤르메스 뉴 앰배서더, 모델 Y/N L/N. 그녀가 어떻게 도망가는지 지켜봐."
(ELLE, Channel, Hermes New ambassador and model Y/N L/N. Watch how she rules the runway)
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P-NATION의 솔로퀸 Y/N L/N이 NCT 김도영, 루카스 웡과 함께 메디컬 로맨스 드라마 '더 터치 오브 유어'로 데뷔한다.
(P-NATION's Solo Queen Y/N L/N, will debut as an Actress in a Medical romance Kdrama "The touch of you" with NCT Kim Doyoung and Lucas Wong)
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You have so many projects going on. Actually you were not ready for this. At SM you’re only an underrated singer who mostly writes others songs instead of doing yours. What can you do? It’s the higher ups orders.
Haeun recommended PNATION this is where you really felt like you’re an artist and family rather. Of Course you love your sunbaes and colleagues. It's just that SM restricts everyone and they try to shape them into KPOP robots that everyone will buy. 
You love all of your projects well..except one.
"P-NATION의 솔로퀸 Y/N L/N이 전 남자친구 NCT 이태용과 함께 새 미니 앨범 'NO History'를 발매한다!"
(P-NATION's Solo Queen Y/N L/N will release her new album "NO HISTORY" with ex-boyfriend NCT Lee Taeyong!)
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Oh great…
You haven't 
Communicated with Taeyong since you left the house.
You actually avoided him.
Taeyong would straight up walk to you when on stage such as Music Bank, Inkigayo, Mama etc. But you always find a way to avoid the guy.
The fans ship you guys after finding out your 7year relationship with him. You were chill with it but you always reminded your fans that you're not together anymore theyy should snap back to reality.
Y/N doesn't like the reality now.
His ex boyfriend is in front of him doing arrangements eating Sweet Potato cubes from Starbucks and guess what.
He's formal and silent asf.
Like you guys didn't date and almost got married.
There were 5 songs in the Mini Album
Ethereal
Seoulite
Letters on the floor
Sunset 
DOUCHEBAG
The title track is Ethereal. You have to dance to that sexy love hoe song. Produced and composed by yours truly.
You just sat on your swivel chair discussing with the other producer while Taeyong wrinkles his forehead seeing the album content.
Track 6. "DOUCHEBAG"
Who The fuck would name their song douchebag?
Taeyong is confused but at the same time a little hope and warm blooms at his heart. Thinking DOUCHEBAG is all about him. Little did he know it's a diss track about MNET.
Don't worry taeyong douchebag may not be about you but most of the songs are.
He's keeping his distance letting you adjust to him..but that doesn't look like it to Y/N.
The audacity of this guy to ignore me. Bitch.
It's noon and you haven't eaten breakfast yet. Taeyong comes to your side to invite you to lunch until he is cut off by a high pitch squeal of yours.
" y/n ssi—"
"DOIEEEEEEEEEEEEE~"
"Hahahahahah calm down, you miss me that much?"
"YEAH!"
It's Doyoung.
He knows you have a few modeling projects with doyoung and an ongoing drama but he didn't know you two were this close.
You smooch your face on doyoung's face and smile brightly at him.
Ah he hates it.
"Hahahahahah enough y/n I'm here for hyung. Hyung do you want to go grab lunch?"
"Ani. Doyoung-ah i’m not hungry. Comeback next time."
"I'll come with you oppa."
“YAH!”
Taeyong stood up.
Oppa was the last straw for him. You don’t call anyone oppa.
Let alone smooch your face to someone’s chest.
You’re that brat girl who only warms up at him. 
Only him.
Doyoung and Y/N were surprised by Taeyong’s sudden actions.
Why is he angry? Did you guys do something wrong?
“Taeyong-ssi, gwaenchana? Is there something wrong?”
Taeyong suddenly realized what he did. So foolish of him. Now he looks like an ex-boyfriend who’s jealous of his ex’s friend.
He isn’t like that. He just wants closure with you.
We’ll look into that later.
“‘Y-YAH! What are you guys doing there? I thought we were going to eat?’ that’s what i’m trying to say.”
“Ahhhh~”
You and Doyoung just nodded, you thought you guys did something wrong to upset him hahaha.
Taeyong is literally speaking in small fonts as he says his excuse. As stupid as it sounds. You two believed him. Thank god phew.
You survived your 1 month with Taeyong. And for guys who dated for 7 years you two were awkward as fuck. It’s like the first time all over again. Calling each other with Honorifics and bowing whenever you two meet at the hallways, Just keeping it civil. But you gotta admit it to yourself, you start to warm up again to Taeyong these past few weeks. Dyed his hair black, and has that boyfriend material aura again.
YOU ARE A HUGE SIMP Y/N L/N.
Taeyong is planning something to win you back . He just woke up and realized ‘What if I show her again why she fell for me in the first place?’
He’s doing simple things to get close to you again. Your heart beats fast whenever he comes close.
“Jduigywfwygf Lee Taeyong i swear to god you-”
“I am what?
“You Scared me! Stop doing that! Why are you even here? I won’t record today. I'm going to learn the choreo.”
“Me too.”
“What?”
“What?”
Our Choreographer came and hell he was teaching us some sexy ass moves. I didn’t even know Taeyong was supposed to dance with me too. I suddenly have  flashbacks to Hyuna unnie and E’dawn sunbae’s Cage Dance Performance.
“One, Two, Step, Three, Step, Four”
“Y/N what are you doing? You missed the step.”
“I did?”
“Yes, It’s the 5th time already. Taeyong teach her. I’m going to take a break”
Y/N is very tense. He felt it. Especially whenever you two grind and to that one part where you kneel in front of him.
“You’re stiff and tense right now. How about you take a break?”
“Omg! Finally!”
“You left your body while we're dancing. Something wrong?”
“Nah I just feel Awkward and all. Knowing our history and everything.”
“Why would you?”
“It’s just you know uhmm.. I don’t know how to explain but you get what I mean.”
“Then Let’s be friends again! So it wouldn’t be awkward.”
He’s just waiting for you to open the topic. That’s all it takes to get Taeyong creep back to your heart. You don’t know if befriending your ex is good or what but it’s nice to have him back. It’s like normal. The teasings, hugs, and laughter are back. It’s like when you two were still together minus the label of course.
Since you two were close again why not invite him to your shoot? Besides Doyoung and Winwin are there.
Taeyong internally passed out when you invited him. He’s so happy for you. The dream of you being an actor never left his mind. Now he gets to see it with front-viewed seats, until that scene comes up.
Myeorin’s starts to tear up. He run after Haju and  hugged him behind. “H-haju you don’t have to..” 
The man just kept a blank face but you can see he’s having a hard time letting go.
“Go. I want you to be happy. You love him Myeorin”
“H-haju no! I love you!”
“You know you don’t. You're just stuck in our past memories.”
Haju breaks free from Myeorin’s hug, he cups her face and their foreheads touch each other while sobbing.
“I still want to live in that past. With you haju.”
He stared into Myeorin’s eyes and landed a soft peck at her temple.
“‘The beautiful journey of today can only begin when we learn to let go of yesterday.’ The person who taught me doesn't apply it to herself. Pabo. Go, you have  no time left i heard he’s leaving”
Myeorin realizes Haju’s words and runs to chase the one  that she truly loves. “Do Hyejeong you bitch you didn’t tell me you’re leaving”
The Set changes and moves to a different venue.
Myeorin stands outside of Hyejeong’s penthouse sobbing. He erratically rang the bell 30th time already and no one’s answering. 
A Janitor saw Myeorin and confronted her.
“Miss Myeorin! What are you doing there?”
“Ahjussi *sniffs* have you seen Hyejong?”
“Ah! sir Hyejong?  He just left a while ago carrying his personal belongings. Why?”
Myeorin just stared at Mr.Kang and suddenly wailed.
“Ah-Uh M-miss did I do something wrong?”
Myeorin just missed Hyejeong. Knowing him  he wouldn’t come back ever again.
“What are you crying at you brat? You’re causing a scene in my property.”
“Hye-Hyejong!” Upon hearing that cold voice she stood up and faced Hyejeong with swollen, teary eyes, and a dripping nose.
“Sir Hyejong I promised I didn’t make her cry! She just suddenly weeps when I said-”
“It’s okay Mr. Kang I know. No need to clean here anymore. you can rest now. And you brat go inside.”
The two of them went inside. Hyejeong comfortably sat on his aesthetically white L-shaped sofa in front of his Floor to ceiling big windows. While Myeorin stands there dumbfounded.
“I-I thought you’re leaving…”
“Well yeah I am until Professor Shin said I have to cover his surgery tomorrow because his wife is in labor.”
“So you’re not leaving anymore?”
“I still am.”
Confused about Hyejeongs statement, creases were formed at her temples. She extended both of her hands trying to block the huge door. The lad just lowkey snickered at her actions.
“What do you mean?! No! nuh uh you won’t leave this place over my dead body.”
“”Why Won’t I leave?”
“Because I love you.”
Hyejong suddenly stopped sipping his drink and just stared at her with those big bunny-like eyes.
“What?”
“Do Hyejong Saranghae.”
He rose from the chair and met her body.
“You lose.”
“I don't careabout the bet anymoret. I love you.”
Hyejeong's mind left the earth. His lips unconsciously guided him to  Myeorin’s plump, soft, pinkish lips. It tasted like pure heaven.
“CUT!”
Taeyong got startled at the director’s cue. No thoughts, mind empty, just watching his love of his life kissing his best friend. He knew it’s part of their work and he’s proud of the both of them  but a part of him just aches knowing you’re single and doyoung single, you might fall for his kisses that used to be his.
“Y/N! Focus!”
“You okay?”
“Yeah just out of character.”
Y/N didn’t know the kissing scene and suggestive scenes are the ones that they'll be filming today. It’s supposed to be Next week! Now she felt odd knowing Taeyong’s here. She turned to Taeyong’s space, seeing him sending her a death glare while eating sweet potato chews.
“KISSING SCENE TAKE 2”
“KISSING SCENE TAKE 3”
“TAKE 6”
“TAKE 12”
The number of takes irked taeyong. Was he invited here just to suffer? Finally you guys nailed the scene. He thought it’s over yet there’s more to come.
Myeorin and Hyejeong were intoxicated with each other. A peck on the lips results in a very deep passionate one. Hyejong carried her in his arms, not letting go of her tasty lips together and they traveled towards the bedroom.
Taeyong stormed off the set. Right in front of my Sweet potato chews he said.
“Taeyong! Where are you going?”
“Don’t follow me. I’ll go home now.”
“What? why? I brought you here. I thought we were going to have ice cream after this?
“EAT ICE CREAM WITH ‘HYEJONG’ INSTEAD hmp.”
He mimicked her voice. Taeyong tried to look angry. But in Y/N’s eyes he’s a baby pouting.
“H-Hyejong? Who is that?”
“Duh? Doyoung?”
“Why would i eat ice cream with him?”
“Yeah right. Why would you guys eat ice cream if you two can just suck each other’s faces off.”
“OMG HAHAHAHAHA ARE YOU JEALOUS?”
“No! Why would I?”
“Hmm..”
“Fine I am! You said today’s going to be fun. Yeah fun for you you kissed doyoung 17 times.”
You grinned like a mad man  at his accusation even though you’re guilty of it. It’s just so cute you can’t help but to..
 “Why would you do that?! You kissed another guy then you kiss me? Don’t give me false hope Y/N.”
“Okay.. I won’t kiss you anymore. You said it yourself.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that! It’s just that it’s giving me false hope..”
“About what?”
“About you. About us being together again. So don’t kiss me i you don’t mean i-”
Yeah you kissed your ex. He needs to shut up.
“Do you still love me?
“Of course. I have always been Taeyong.”
Cut the chase and hide and seek. You  won’t deny your feelings anymore. The feeling of missing him, his warmth, and love. You won’t deny it all again.
You two left the Area hand in hand, talking while having a little stroll.
“Hey I have a question?”
“What is it?
“Did you change your perfume?”
“Yeah. It’s Yves Saint Laurent’s  Black Opium”
“I like the old one better.”
“What smell do you love the most? Me or Febreeze? ”
“Definitely Febreeze.”
The sound of your laughs and voices faints as you two went back to the set
"If you were to pick what is your favorite song in this album? And What part of it makes you like it?"
The Interviewer  asks.
You picked up your mic and said
 “Ethereal. I like the pre chorus part the
 i can't wait to see him next
and witness his ethereal glow
he is my darling
and nothing or no one
could ever come between
bonded for life
he is my king. 
It just reminded me of someone. Someone I missed..” The crowd goes wild, they're squealing and most of them are screaming Lee Taeyong!
Taeyong goes shy.. He can’t believe you wrote him that song when he asked you who’s your inspiration you just said ‘my grandma why?’ now he knows.
He Throws you a ‘you’re hiding it from me’ look while you just replied a simple wink.
“Okay, Let’s get back to the unanswered question.. What didn't work out for the two of you?”
You two stared at each other's eyes knowing the answer.
Once again you grabbed your mic and said
“Let’s just say he’s a major clean freak.”
39 notes · View notes
starryseung · 4 years
Text
living with skz! seo changbin
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chan ¦ minho ¦ changbin ¦ hyunjin ¦ jisung (will contain smut) ¦ felix ¦ seungmin ¦ jeongin
word count; 0.9k words
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changbin would initially be really reserved into his own bubble
like he’d always be in his room—producing and studying
and only come out when he wants to
he wouldn’t bother you at all
and you two would rarely talk
but you don’t blame him at all because you do the same
anyone would be awkward living with the opposite gender
so this one time you’d come to the living room when he was watching tv
with your laptop which had a few black box-like drives attached to it at the back
and you just sit on the couch at a little distance from him
you’re nervous and your hands are sweating
he notices your jittery state
so he asks because you know
you two in the same room was a rare sight
“hey, y/n. wassup”
“hey! uhh, i’ve made this thing... and um i know i’m not as awesome as you, but... could you like check it out?”
“woah, really? let’s see...”
he places the black headphones you hand out to him on his ears securely, and you press play
and you occasionally look at his face to look for any reaction
but who are you kidding hahaha
he frowns somewhere in the middle but immediately goes back normal
and you can hear your organs drumming inside you
once the song ends, he removes the headphones, handing them back to you
he points at one part of the screen, adjusting the bass and tone to match the beat, calmly explaining where you’d messed up
“ahh, okay okay i get it...”
and you feel like total shit, but you keep listening to him, making mental notes to yourself
when he’s done talking, he smiles proudly
“otherwise, it’s pretty good for an amateur,”
and your eyes go wide because the seo changbin just complimented you
you thank him for his help and walk back to your room
working on what he had pointed out on
jumping on the bed in happiness
since that day, you and changbin grew closer and closer
he’d become like a mentor to you
you two started to work on songs together
and then during breaks, you two would cook dinner
almost burning the house down technically isn’t considered cooking
but i mean it was ultimately edible so,,,
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
but this one time you two were craving something sweet
so he suggested baking a cake
and i meannnn
what cake would you expect from two 20 year-olds who had never baked anything in their life lmao
there was dough, sugar, chocolate flakes, sprinkles and eggshells everywhere except the mixing bowl
“changbin! you’ll get the icing everywh—”
and he drops two large blobs of icing
one on the counter and one on his shirt
so he dips his finger in one of them and plops it into his mouth
“wow why is that salty”
and you gasp and laugh at his scrunched-nose face
and you put your finger in the mess and drag it across his cheek
now he gasps
and he takes a small handful of flour from nearby
charging it towards you
you squeal and move away from him
“hey! you called my icing salty!”
“because it was!”
so yeah it was a whole lot of laughs and giggles throughout
but the cake somehow turns out edible
anyways
now you two spend almost all your free time together
fyi you two are homebodies=couch potatoes=lazy
and (assuming) he’s elder than you by like 3-4 months
he has the right to order you and boss you around
“can you turn on the fan”
“noo i don’t wannaa D: ”
and you’d whine and groan as he pushes you off your bed
so you crawl your way to the fan and hit a button
and crawl your way back as this guy giggles at your childish-ness
he behaves like he’s the elder one
and let’s you go wild by yourself 
sometimes when you walk past his room late at night to sneak in some food
you see his lamp on
so you softly knock at the wood, grabbing his attention
“what are you doing?” you ask quietly
“working on an assignment. why are you up so early, don’t you have classes early tomorrow morning?”
and you giggle softly
“i was gonna eat something”
he chuckles softly, placing his computer on the bed before walking towards you
and he walks to the kitchen with you
and you two stay up until 2 or sometimes 3 
munching on chips and biscuits
sometimes silence overtakes the four walls
sometimes its one of you (usually you) talking about how this one girl ruined your project or that one guy who talks too much during class
and he adds on to your narration with a loud laugh or an affirmative nod
you sleep over in his room every now and then
like place some blankets on the ground for a make-shift bed and sleep on those
talking about deep life topics and how in a few years you two would be going through a mid-life crisis and also how you were not ready for it
you two would also grow close really quickly
you two shared most interests, likes and dislikes
and in between his ramblings he would hear your soft snoring from below
and he smiles lovingly as he looks down at you
your tousled hair falling on your face
your cute huddled-up sleeping position
and your small snores in the quiet room as you clung onto his gyu plushie
omg uwu
once he’s sure you’re asleep
he places a blanket over you
and fixes your hair so it isn’t in your nose and mouth
and he slowly pulls out the fluffy plushie from your arms and turns off the light
because he loves his plushie more than you
lol loser💔
taglist: @cherryeol04 @sunshineletters​ (message me i you want to be added!)
230 notes · View notes
Note
how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?
okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.
i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself
Shadowhunters:
domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward
Supernatural
- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe
- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT
Bright Sessions
- caleb/adam grisha AU
- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM
- caleb/adam college fluff
Umbrella Acaademy
- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering
- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP
- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb
Percy Jackson
- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai
- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain
- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children
- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3
Penumbra Podcast 
- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren
- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au
- sad juno smut
- final resting place fic go brrrr
Marvel
- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man
- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter
- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing
- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.
- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!
- spideytorch relationship character study
- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)
Six of Crows
- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik
- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time
- request 45/? inej moodboard?
- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?
- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard
- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)
- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat
- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop
- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)
- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang​
- wesper fake dating
- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy
TMA
- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?
- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?
- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it
- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy
- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb
- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23
- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.
- spiral!sasha AU
- extinction martin go brrrrr
- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought
- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control
- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live
- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope
- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence
- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations
- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)
DC Comics
- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,
- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang​
- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus
- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?
- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown
- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?
- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch
- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?
- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once
- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?
- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!
- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??
- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai
- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian
- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)
- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?
- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty
- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM
- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers
- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty
- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!
- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun
- i request damian angst! all of it
- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?
- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu
- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?
Found Family Bingo Prompts
- no powers au
- tunnel
- first day
- join the club
- hurt/comfort
- experiment
- playing favorites
- hold on
- possession
- 10 o’clock
- singing
- road
- snitch
- curfew
- timer
- fantasy au
- zombie au
- dreams
- campfire
- are you okay
- movie night
- games
- scared
Miscellaneous
- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward
- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?
- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me
- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something
- request 23/? roast me
- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️
- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good
- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me
- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈
- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!
- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??
- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose
- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!
- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral
- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.
- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now
- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious
- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls
- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too
- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.
- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious
- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me
- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you
- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.
- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread
- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.
- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?
- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812
- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out
- a feral bbb quote or two?
- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage
- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please
- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?
- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what
- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.
- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?
- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?
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jadedjxsung · 4 years
Text
| 2:13am - seo changbin - tw: swearing, blood (but not outright gore) |
you jogged down the street, one headphone in, quietly playing a podcast. some fictional one your friend had recommended to you, something about feuding funeral parlors and voiced by british people? you weren’t really listening. you were too pissed off at the moment to really care.
it was the middle of winter, too, so when you passed the street lights you could see you breath fogging as you lightly puffed. you didn’t want to run too fast, in case you slipped and broke something. your roommate wouldn’t be too happy with you if you called them at two in the morning because you broke a limb.
spotting your destination ahead, you quickened your pace slightly. the second story lights were bright through the large windows of the gym. it was unlikely anyone would be there at this time of morning, which made it ideal for you to release a bit of your internalised rage on the boxing bag or something.
opening the door, you lightly hop up the stairs, two at a time. opening the second door into the gym, you dump your small backpack on one of the many benches lining the wall, and when you turned around to see the empty-
not quite empty gym. there is one guy, by himself, doing some weights in the opposite corner of the gym. well, the boxing bags were hung in the other corner - you decide to ignore him. plugging your other headphone in, you wrap your hands in wraps to protect your hands and then went fucking ham on the boxing bags.
you completely unleash your rage upon the bag. imagining it was the face of your former boyfriend, who you’d discovered had cheated on you with your ex best friend. the face of your overly controlling mother who tried to get you to go to university instead of working to start your own business. the smug look on the many assholes at your minimum wage job that you currently had who, for whatever reason, liked to make you feel miserable.
you are so absorbed in punching the life out of the boxing bag that when you got a tap on the shoulder, you instinctively jump back and nearly smack the guy in the face, missing him by a few centimetres. it was the guy who was on the weights earlier.
“hey, uhh... your hands are bleeding?” he gestures to your hands. they’d bled through your wraps and you’d gotten a bit of blood on the bag too.
being out of your dazed frenzy for a few moments now, you slowly began to feel the sting. “cheers for that.” you peel back the wraps and wince. your knuckles are red and had split a few times - you’d fucked up your wraps somewhere and hadn’t wrapped enough around your knuckles, apparently. you went and sat down by your bag, and the guy appears again with a dark green first aid kit.
“something really must’ve pissed you off to come to a gym at,” he glances at his phone screen as it lights up, “two in the morning and punch a boxing bag ‘till your knuckles bleed and not notice it.” unzipping the kit he gently takes your hands in his, and cleans them with some kind of wipe.
“yeah, but make that plural. some things have pissed me off.”
“care to elaborate?”
“found out my ex cheated on me with my best friend. my mother is being a control freak yet again and tries to get me to go to university despite me telling her what i am planning on doing. assholes at work. i couldn’t get to sleep.” you summarise. the male finishes cleaning you hands and carefully put a few bandages over the worst splits in your skin. “why are you here at two in the morning?”
“i like it. there’s no one else here, usually.” he adds with a small grin.
you shrug. “fair enough. follow up question - do you not have work in the morning?”
“well... yes. but i’m usually up this late even if i’m not working out.”
“so what do you do?”
“i’m a musician. more specifically, i rap and compose. what do you do?”
“currently? checkout operator at the department store. i’m starting up my business as a freelance photographer and artist.” when his hands leave yours, your fingers suddenly feel a bit cold. it was probably the injuries, right?
“oh, nice. well, best of luck for your business. maybe i could hire you to do an album cover.” he jokes, but you could tell there was some sincerity in his statement.
“thanks. can i find your music online?” you get up to disinfect the boxing bag, cloth in one hand and spray bottle in the other.
“uhh- yeah. spearb on soundcloud.”
you lips split into a grin. “ooh, a soundcloud rapper.”
“what’s that supposed to mean?” he asked incredulously.
“well, aren’t soundcloud rappers known for being..... subpar to actual rappers?”
“hey! i’m pretty decent if i do say so myself.” a smirk graces his features.
“alright, well i’ll listen to your music on the jog home,” you sling your bag over your shoulder. “thank you for... this.” you raised your hands.
“no problem. do you live far away?”
“it’s a fifteen minute walk.”
“do you want me to walk with you?”
“no, it’s good, thanks.” 
you saw his brow furrow in concern. “are you sure? it’s nearly 3am, it’s not exactly safe this time of day.”
“what if i text you to let you know i’m home? would that make you feel less concerned?”
“y-yeah, sure.” you unlock your phone and pull up a new contact for him to add his number and name. he passes your phone back to you a few moments later.
“i hope we meet again, ‘good soundcloud rapper,’” you narrow your eyes to read your phone screen.
“me too. get home safe, yeah?”
“yeah. thank you.” you smile at him, going back down the small flight of stairs and opening the door outside. it was more bitter than before, somehow. maybe because you weren’t so bitter yourself.
you jog again to retain some warmth for about ten minutes. you listen to a few of spearb’s songs as you went - some were from a group called 3racha, which was apparently him and two other guys. he had quite a decent following, actually - definitely a good reflection on his work, because he seems to deserve it. you hardly knew him, but he seemed kind.  
quietly unlocking the front door, you enter your shared apartment quietly, and shut it carefully. you quietly pad to your room, where you dump your bag in one corner and flop down on your bed. pulling out your phone, you compose a new text message.
you: i’m home, you don’t have to worry lmao
you: listened to some of your songs too. i retract my previous statement; you are, in fact, a good soundcloud rapper.
good soundcloud rapper: haha, thanks. would you be keen on getting a coffee sometime? not at 2am though
you: sure. how’s 3am?
you: i’m kidding. when are you next free?
good soundcloud rapper: 3pm friday?
you: sounds good. see you then :)
what an interesting 2am excursion - your hands still hurt, but you also had a soft smile on your face. perhaps, things were going to start getting better for you now, starting with a coffee at 3pm on friday.
37 notes · View notes
sunflowerhae · 4 years
Text
Linger
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Episode • 1/8
Mobile Masterlist •
♡ ☾ ✐
Authors note• bro this is so long I’m so sorry I’m breaking it into parts for u (I HATE MY LIFE)
Warnings• mentions of death, language
Songs• something - the Beatles/ With love, Vincent - Murray Gold/ she’s so lovely - beach house
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•Na Jaemin remembers the exact moment he first laid his eyes on Y/N Y/L/N.
•He was standing by his locker on the first day of sophomore year
•laughing with Jeno and Haechan about their new math teacher
•when she walked past him with two other girls, smiling and holding some books in her arms.
•Jaemin will tell anyone that listens that this was the first time he felt the air knocked out of his lungs
•He remembers thinking that she was the most beautiful girl that he had ever seen.
•He didn’t know who she was; he had never seen her before (he would remember) (sike he’s stupid)
•yet he knew that he would marry that girl.
•he was worried bc he didn’t know who tF she was, but don’t worry bc the second time he ever saw her was maybe 6 minutes later
•he walked into his 4th period Honors English 10 class, and she was talking to the teacher across the classroom, before moving and sitting down in the first empty seat she saw.
•Jaemin didn’t know what to do
•his new mystery dream girl was in his class.
•Should he sit next to her?
•Should he just ignore her and talk to her later?
•what is gonna wear?
•is he gonna cry?
•Jaemin didn’t have much time to decide
• a mere 10 second delay was all it took for three boys (also on the football team with Jaemin) to enter the room and wrap their arms around his shoulder
•ushering him over to an empty table in the back while showcasing their excitement about being in the same class together.
•Jaemin tried not to show his disappointment, and instead gave one of his usual, dazzling smiles (ya know the one!) while joking along with them
•trying to forget about the mystery girl (and the excitement he got when he learned her name during roll call)
•It was then that Na Jaemin’s and Y/N Y/L/N’s rolls in their story were set in stone.
•He would be the popular boy that everyone knew, but didn’t really know
•and you would be the quiet girl that only a few, special people knew of, but those people were your closest friends.
•And over the course of the next two years, it would stay that way. •Jaemin, secretly pining for you
•and you, thinking the beautiful boy as untouchable.
•That would, however, change, on one god forsaken, cloudy Friday.
•A Friday that would forever be ingrained in Jaemins memory as the day he sealed his lonely fate in the world
•and the day he lost his true soulmate
•before he even talked to her.
•If Haechan’s persistent moaning and groaning about school wasn’t enough
•the weather was gloomy and cloudy
•and anyone with eyes could tell that rain was to be expected. •Jaemin, secretly, didn’t mind.
•Although he would never share it, he loved the rain.
•What he did mind, was his friends continuous bitching.
•”Hyuck, shut up,” -Renjun, 2020
•I mean he wasn’t even paying attention to the group, too preoccupied w his sketch book, sometimes glancing up at a girl that sat across the school yard, before looking back down at his sketch book (spoilers for something I’m writing??? Hehe you’ll never know hehe)
•all Jeno did was MenTion that rainy weather meant football practice would be cancelled
•hyucks smile was BaCk
•Jaemin was not impressed
•okay the conversation went something like this
“Damn Na, why are you looking at me like how my mom looks when my report card come in?” -full sun
•You literally insulted football to my face.” -nana
•haechan let out a loud laugh
•at Jaemin’s expense
•“you don’t know the ups and downs of High-school football” -nojam and injunnie
•also at Jaemins expense
•due to an ongoing joke that Jaemin reminded their friend group of the teenage redhead from riverdale
•Na Jaemin was so upset, he didn’t even eat his fries.
•”I wouldn’t care so much if I wasn’t the fucking captain of the team, hyuck. I mean, I gotta hold you responsible to a certain degree, you’re the fucking quarterback!” -Na Jaemin
•someone bully him
•so as that is happening, 2/3 of the missing members of their group come in HOT
•I mean literally
•they’re breathing heavily and everything
•acting like they just ran a mf marathon
•jisung YEETS his bag in the table (covering Renjuns sketchbook, which annoyed the fuck out of the older boy, but really who cares)
•”Guys guys guys! You will never guess who we just saw in the library!” -Mochi
•”lemme give it a try; mark?” -bitch ass Chinese bitch (renjun)
•”No! We saw Mar- wait what? How’d you know?” -child prodigy Zhong Chenle
•“Uhh, maybe because he texted in the group chat that he was gonna be in the library?” -nojam makin a comeback
•”Okay okay, but - can I have a fry? - did hew shay who hedt be wif?”
•”Swallow your fucking food first, le.” -smart boy you guess who
(Whew are y’all getting sensory overload like I AM)
•“He said, did he say who he’d be with, though? No, he didn’t, but guess who WE saw him with,” -jisung bringing the T E A.
•no one answers
•Chenle and jisung give each other the “we’re friends w dumbasses” look
•“Y/n! He was sitting with y/n!”
•oh shit
•Everyone quickly turned their heads to Jaemin
•tell me why this boy was glaring at the table like it messed w his daughter
•Out of everyone ever, the only people who knew about Jaemins secret crush was the 5 boys sitting with Jaemin
•and the one sitting in the library with said secret crush.
•They didn’t even really know, they just knew that they once saw Jaemin slip something like a note into Y/n’s locker junior year
•and Jaemin made up a bullshit excuse that it was something for class that no one
•-not even Jeno, who always trusted his friends -
•believed.
•”why aren’t you mad”
•”you should be angry”
•literally all of the present boys were THROWING it on jaemin
•and naturally -
•he deflected
•”bro I’m not even upset, I don’t like y/n!”
•lmao K
•now at this point
•the boys thought they were helping
•really
•it was innocent they promise.
•really how were they to know what was going to happen
•so hyuck had JOKED and said that if Jaemin didn’t like u, he wouldn’t mind hurting u
•it was super harmless
•unTil
•some other popular ppl walked over RIGHT as Haechan said that
•and he was like oh fuck
•but silently
•bc Haechan knew what Jaemin was like
•if it was just their lil group still, Jaemin would have told hyuck to fuck off
•but Jaemin was terrified to lose his reputation
•he was an insecure boy
•he would have really done anything to keep his position as most popular boy in school
•so when one of his jock friends dares Jaemin to get you to date him until prom, get ur virginity the night before, and then ditch u at prom and tell you it was all a dare in front of everyone and that he never liked you
•well
•he stupidly agrees
•the dreamies agree with it
•only bc they don’t actually think Jaemin will last
•they think he’ll back out last minute and stay w you
•and that Jaemin will finally get u
•wishful thinking
•you were failing math
•it’s not that you were stupid, you weren’t
•you just R E A L L Y hated math
•and your mom was so upset w your grade
•my girl forced u to get a tutor
•good thing u knew mark
•he agreed to meet w you in the library Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s at lunch
•and Thursday’s if you needed it
•thank god 4 mark
•everything was going Super Fine™️
•up until you both look up when you hear squealing and the sound of someone smacking someone else
•and there’s jisung and Chenle,
•staring at you both
•and squealing
•and smacking each other on the arms
•before just plain running out
•”if I don’t go after them, they’ll tell all of our friends that we’re marrying each other, so i should go.” -Mark fucking Lee
•so you’re walking towards your locker to put all of your math work in it,
•and when you open it, a lil note falls out and flutters to the ground
•your smile: 3% -> 95%
•honestly you were kinda having a shitty day
•so you were so happy to see a note in your locker
•you had been receiving love notes since you were in sophomore year
•you don’t remember exactly when during the year
•but one day, they were just there
•you were excited to add another one to your box
•this one wasn’t big, it just said “Your Personality makes me want to be a better person! I hope you have a beautiful day, sunshine!”
•the rim of the paper had squiggly yellow lines, and the bottom had a poorly drawn sunshine, with a heart, like always
•you didn’t know who your secret admirer was
•but you wish you did
•u lowkey loved them
•you’re still smiling about it as you walk into your 7th period math class
•and the note was found at lunch, like an hour ago
•they make you so happy
•you silently sat down in your seat, and stared off into space with a dreamy look on your face
•and THATS how Jaemin knew you got his note
•you always had that look when you read his notes
•not that you knew it was from him
•it made him so happy
•even if you two had never talked before, he still freaking loved that he could make you smile
•Jaemin wasn’t happy for long
•he tried not to let you notice him staring at you in class,
•it was kinda hard, seeing as you two literally sat next to each other
•he couldn’t believe he had to break your heart
•he wanted to die lowkey lol
•but he had to do it
•not really, but really
•so he took a deep breath
•and opened his mouth
Continued here
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{taglist}
@ivietea @fiveguysgoodbyeguys @comically-sleep-deprived @woosans-sann @mozartwasajungkookstan @littlefluu @cxcxlxlee @jaesluvklub @uyuzo @sweetie-yoongi7 @marklexleaf
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