#amab = assigned male at birth

[theeretblr]

hi, i saw your recent ask and i was wondering. how do you build an androgynous/femme outfit? especially for AMAB people who tend to have a more rectangular body shape.

thanks in advance!!

I think being able to separate clothing from gender is an important part of being able to present how you want to present.

Of course, there is a lot of cultural pressure around certain pieces of clothing being associated with certain gender presentations. However, I find that clothing is not the main thing that helps me with androgyneity. For me, that would be shapewear in the form of hip pads, butt pads (these are basically boxer shorts with inserts for specifically shaped pads), and breast forms.

Here is how I present most days I go out compared with a more masc look:

The main differences between these are the makeup and the shapewear for the femme look. Otherwise, the cargo pants are the same, and the vneck t-shirts are the same brand.

[butchmartyr]

this is kind of a semantic pet peeve i know but i gotta say i still hate seeing people describe themselves in the present tense with agab. it rarely makes justifiable sense and almost always instead reads like someone just replacing the false binary of male/female in their head with amab/afab. “im afab nonbinary” no you are not an “assigned female at birth person”, you were (c)afab, this was a past action that was done to you on the behalf of an arbitrary and illusory patriarchal system not an identity or state of being and it does not speak to some essential or unchanging “reality” about you like male/female tries to, as we’re used to using it, we can get out of the pit

[angel-archivist]

It's so interesting and so exceedingly frustrating how agab is being utilized now within the queer community as a way to isolate and sort nonbinary and genderqueer folks into binary boxes that determine their moral purity levels, and their authority to do and write and exist.

The way nonbinary writers are being put under accusation of fetishizing gay men while their AGAB is continually brought up in a way that feels like queer-space-approved misgendering.

The way feminist circles that are supposedly trans-inclusive will use the word AFAB in a way that implicitly but intentionally isolates nonbinary people who aren't AFAB from joining. It's for women*.

The way the language is already flawed and leaves out intersex folks from the conversations while focusing on a binary of sex that isn't truthful.

The constant obsessing over whether someone is AFAB or AMAB and whether or not that gives them the privilege to join, do, write, or be present in certain spaces really really concerns me. How are we supposed to dismantle a binary system of gender if we can't even move past forcibly assigning and focusing on people's genders assigned at birth?

[nachosforfree]

Using afab/amab and tma/tme as nouns is weird tbh

[beyond-mogai-pride-flags]

AMAB FTM Pride Flag

FTM: transitioning from female to male.

AMAB: assigned male at birth.

This flag represents those who are MTFTM (detrans), SAMAB (self-assigned) male transitioners (AGABpunk), plural systems, circumgender, or intersex/altersex (varsex) people with complex experiences with gender/sex, for example, plus many more experiences I couldn't describe in simple terms. Many times, it could be a subtliden identity (aka 'contradictory labeling' or contrapunk).

[atypi-cals]

"hey why don't you like AGAB terminology" I mean, for me personally, they spent 9 months going "its a boy!" and popped me out and went "its a boy!!!" and then 5 minutes later went "...uh... whoopsie. it... isnt?"

[pregnantsecondo]

I think people should stop using afab/amab. I think perhaps we should just stop.

[chiegetseven]

When you grow up seeing female archetypes in the media, there are some that get left out of feminist discourse. Namely "best girl". Anita Sarkeesian never talked about the "best girl" archetype in Feminist Frequency (although she did break down the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope well. I've only ever heard "best girl" used by men/boys/AMAB NBs (assigned male at birth non binaries). In part, I think, because that's who most of the "gamers" I know are and certainly most of the gamers involved in online gamer culture spaces. "Best girl" is complementary and usually describes a female character who is actually more well-rounded, more realistic than the other female archetypes in games. Mostly negative or damaging female archetypes from games are discussed in feminist discourse.

I think it's a problem with how women or AFAB (assigned female at birth) people are socialized because it happens with interpersonal relationships too. Women often cherry-pick their negative experiences and feelings as the topic of conversation with girl friends, or fem spaces, when discussing their romantic relationships. I even find myself doing it. Sometimes it's a healthy outlet for venting frustration but I think it also has some very negative consequences. (The following statements are primarily about discussions of benign relationships, abusive relationships and the behavior around them can look very different from this and I'm not wading into that right now. If you are in an abusive relationship, please seek help from an organization near you. If you are scared your abuser will find out, go to your local library, you can say you want to get a book or attend a community event. They have computers and knowledgeable staff who will be happy to help you find resources and are not required to report patron interactions.)

1) girl friends and anyone else receiving the gossip (and I know that is a hot button word but I'm not just going to call it "the tea" because everyone knows that's the same thing right now but they might not in 5 years) get a lopsided impression of the relationship being discussed not only because they're only getting one side of the story but because that story itself isn't even the whole story for the side that's telling it. This issue goes beyond women and is more of a human condition issue. As they say, "misery loves company", in this case meaning that when people are enjoying themselves, they want to soak in that feeling and are not driven to express their feelings but when they have negative feelings they want to get them outside of themselves. But AFABs are socialized to do more of this. So when things are going well in a relationship, people may just say "oh things are really good right now!" or maybe even some details of things they're doing with their partner, but when things are going poorly, the immediate response is to analyze and rehash every detail like you're planning a strategic military operation and say all of the negative stuff you wouldn't say to your partner.

2) because women have this "vent" for frustrations, they might not actually try very hard to change the situation by talking issues out with their partner, leaving their partner at a disadvantage because the woman has not spelled out the issue clearly enough for the partner to change anything. There is an addictive quality to this behavior, and there is a social payoff too in that AFABs can get a lot of mileage out of pity without having to do anything. AFABs are often socialized to downplay their successes and so if you're happy and you share it with your friends, hopefully they're happy for you, but if you're upset, they get upset with you and it creates more of a bond. This is not a "trauma bond", a trauma bond happens between the victim of abuse and the abuser. But it is bonding over trauma, and that can reinforce learned helplessness.

3) this reinforces stereotypes about women and men even though contexts have changed significantly in certain ways. While men and boys historically had the advantage in work and academics, as well as other fields, women and girls have been out-performing men and boys for over a decade. There is a book called "Of Men and Boys" by Richard Reeves that discusses these issues in a truly well-balanced, well researched, and effective way. There are still disparities in wealth and emotional labor, and obviously the threat to women's reproductive rights is terrifying and is a tool to take away these gains. But the average AMAB actually faces more disadvantages in school, particularly if he/they are also a POC (person of color) or poor. So while the men in power, usually men who have held powerful positions from before the social shifts of the last 2 decades, are absolutely belligerently advantaged over women/AFABs, the average man/AMAB does not hold the reigns of society, he has the bit in his mouth, he is enslaved by Late Stage Capitalism. And the anger men and boys feel at being enslaved is often redirected from the actual cause of their problems to the women and girls they see surpassing them, and they feel there is insult added to injury when women talk about them like they are subhuman. That isn't an excuse for violence, but it is important to recognize where we really stand.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[soong-type-notinuse]

throwback to episode 13 where i talk about agab language.

[whaleofatjme1920]

what does gn mean? i’ve been invested in these prompts and nsfw asks and such but i can never work out what gn! means 😭

Gender neutral using they/them pronouns! The reader insert community is DOMINATED by Female she/her readers, so I keep them as gender neutral as possible

[theeretblr]

can you share what breast forms you use please? :O

Of course!

Here is a list of some various shapewear things I use as an AMAB Genderfluid person:

Chest Stuff - Breast forms: https://a.co/d/3Ph0LBW - Cheap bra that I use most days: https://a.co/d/08kTI2v - Larger, full coverage bra that is more supportive: https://a.co/d/dtKLRXm

You can just slot the breast forms into the bra. Make sure to measure your band size so you get the right size. I would recommend starting smaller to average size (B/C cup) as larger breasts can be harder to make more casual outfits with (they're also just heavier).

Hip Stuff - The short hip pads I use (though they are currently unavailable): https://a.co/d/8apRadX - Longer hip pads that I use sometimes, they are sometimes too long for certain skirts, dresses, and shorts (also unavailable D:): https://a.co/d/iXXzvPJ - Butt pads: https://a.co/d/0zdzmZv

I can't attest for other hip pads, but I'm sure you can find similar to what I have!

[bruisyfruity]

it’s always “bi women just wanna be oppressed🙄” or “afab enbies just wanna be oppressed🙄” and never “bi women just wanna be seen for who they are” or “non-binary people who were afab just wanna be seen for who they are”

[qweerhet]

"no children are being forced to take hrt or have surgeries that change the appearance of their genitals" intersex children are, actually

"everyone was assigned a gender at birth" there are intersex people who were not assigned a gender at birth

"trans women are amab trans people and trans men are afab trans people" there are intersex people who were assigned male at birth and later transitioned medically and socially to male, and intersex people who were assigned female at birth and later transitioned medically and socially to female

"assigned gender at birth is a 1:1 predictor of tma vs tme experience" there are intersex people who were assigned female at birth and experienced violence for being a woman with a penis + testes + secondary sex characteristics like facial hair + having a testosterone-dominant hormone profile, and had to transition medically and socially to be socially and medically recognized as women as adults

"bodies born with sex variations are medically nonbinary" no, they are intersex, and intersex people can be a binary gender if they want to be

"nonbinary people who want non-cisnormative sex variations are mentally ill/diseased for wanting a disordered body" no, bodies with sex variations are not disordered, and it harms intersex people for them to be seen as disordered regardless of if the body in question was born that way or created through surgery

"cis women don't experience transphobic body policing/will never understand how it feels to have your womanhood constantly in question and subject to violence over things you can't change" intersexism overlaps heavily with transphobia and an intersex woman can both identify as cis and have a penis, testes, be testosterone-dominant, etc, and have visible signs of those traits. an intersex woman can also have been amab or be currently legally designated as male by the government and still identify as cis.

stop saying intersexist shit in your trans discourse thanks

[genderqueerdykes]

the reason intersex people need to be visible and at the forefront of every queer's activism is because we are completely devoid of autonomy when it comes to identifying ourselves. no matter how hard we try to speak up on how we are treated, how we are dehumanized, how we are refused our right to say who we are, it falls through the cracks because of how many people continue to diminish our issues, and espouse intersexist beliefs.

when i speak up about being transfemme, and a trans girl, it's not because i'm trying to step on people's toes or speak about something i don't understand. i speak up about it because this is the life i've lived. it doesn't matter if strangers see me this way or not, this is how i've been my entire life. whether or not someone knows i was technically born AMAB and then had my gender "corrected" shouldn't matter.

trans people do not only come in binary sexes- just like gender, physical sex is also not a binary. i am an intersex trans girl , even if my agab didn't stay AMAB forever. I would be an intersex trans girl regardless of whether or not they assigned me male at birth, because my experience with womanhood and femininity is that they've always been held away from me, way farther than it would ever be possible for me to reach.

i've had to take estrogen & progesterone HRT in the past in order to "correct" my masculine features in order to look like and be a girl "correctly". the subject of my body and my gender has never been something i've been able to control. my whole live i've just been told that i'm a girl wrong, and that i need to "Fix" it.

boyhood or manhood weren't options either, that was held away from me with a 10 foot pole as well. i've had to transition into gender, itself, because i was forbidden to be a boy or a girl. i was always too sensitive or soft to be a real boy. gender as a concept has been a source of control and degredation for me. i had to transition into both manhood and womanhood in order to have control over how i identify. even now when i talk about manhood and being a man, people tell me that i'm not a trans man because of how i look. i'm routinely denied manhood, I "have" to be a trans woman only to some.

due to my intersex condition, i'm a trans man and a trans woman, transfemme and transmasc, but people struggle to accept this. there's no reason for people to give me hell about these parts of myself, and yet people still do. intersex awareness matters because we fight to be seen as the people we are. we struggle to have our identities be addressed correctly. we are in the same fight as trans individuals, and we owe it to intersex trans men, women, and people to help people understand that trans folks come in all different types of bodies, and that biological sex is not a binary, either.

we have to fight for each other's autonomy. for all of us. together we are stronger, louder, and braver.

[thecoolestcowboy]

⚪️ afab (assigned female at birth)

⚪️ amab (assigned male at birth)

🔘 acab (assigned catboy after banishment)

[hiiragi7]

Reminder that y'all should just say what you mean instead of "AFAB" or "AMAB".

If you are referring to penises, say penis.

If you are referring to having a period, say the word period.

If you are referring to being raised female or male, say that.

If you are referring to the ability to get pregnant, say that.

And so on, and so on, and so on.

The terms "AFAB" and "AMAB" do not tell you anything about a person's reproductive, hormonal, or chromosomal profiles. It does not tell you what body parts they have. It does not tell you anything about their life experiences or what gender they were raised as.

Using "AFAB" and "AMAB" as if they are synonymous with [perisex] "female" and "male" excludes intersex and trans people. Using the terms "AFAB" and "AMAB" in this way is only recreating the sex binary of female and male but masking it as more progressive when it really isn't. Just say what you really mean.

There are trans people who have the same equipment as a cis person of the "opposite" assigned sex. There are intersex people who were assigned a sex at birth while having completely different internal reproductive organs or hormones, or who were raised as a different gender than the sex they were assigned at birth.

There is no such thing as "AFAB" or "AMAB" experiences. AGAB language only describes what you were assigned at birth. It says nothing about your body or your life experiences.

I know that people tend to shy away from using direct language when talking about anything related to sex (even as it relates to biology and not anything actually sexual) but using the actual terms for these things isn't bad. It's extremely counterproductive to movements to view sex as a fluid and broad category when you use AFAB and AMAB as if they are anything more than a sex designation given at birth.