#and canons ofc
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Reblog this to support the selfship(s) of the person you reblogged it from!
Since some days, an indirect showing of support is just a lil easier. ♥
#silly selfshippy.#self ship#self shipping#f/o community#selfship#selfship community#yumeship#yume ship#yume shipping#yume community#yumeshipping#yumejoshi#yumedanshi#self insert x canon#self shipper#selfshipper#f/o prompts#imagine your f/o#f/o imagines#f/os#romantic f/o#f/o x s/i#f/o#mine: memes.#;;This blog doesn't count ofc xwx#;;repost from the deactivated blog
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a totally justifiable misunderstanding! >_>);;
#jin ling#jiang cheng#lan jingyi#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#ljy has a cat called chuchu#secretly ofcs#the cat responded to jiujiu what was jl supposed to think!#this took me way too long to draw#canon jc
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i love the idea of joining the batfam by dating bruce, but can you imagine how awkward it must be ?
like you are dating bruce, you most probably know he is batman (he couldn't date seriously someone and never tell them) which is like a huge thing, you probably knew each others for at least 5 years and dated for at least 2 before you even step foot in his house and even then ! you still have never meet any of his adopted kids, he always has a way of avoiding The meeting.
of course - you know who his kids are, bruce is ... literally the it guy of gotham, you very much know the names and faces of his family - but that's it (now if you know their vigilantes identities is different story)
the question is, are they aware of your existence ? (of course alfred is aware; that out of the question, he followed to development of yours and bruce relationship from a to z)
going more for a no, not at the start, bruce has this clumsy dumb bilionaire personality but he probably could not like for you to receive media attention because he doesn't wish for your privacy to be intruded upon because you are dating (now there may have been one instance where the paparazzi took a picture of you and him together, but they could only see you from the back, or your face wasn't visible for whatever reason). they probably learnt about your existence very late into your relationship with bruce, and it's surely by accident, like, one of them see a message from you to bruce (and it's something probably something very cheesy) when he left it somewhere by inadvertence. and depending on who see that, they either fully open bruce's phone (sorry but they all know his phone password, bruce isn't aware of that tho) and read your conversation or they find some others way to have access to his messages with you (that isn't so blatant).
they for sure, do an 'emergency' meeting about it (dick and damian were the two that really wanted to do one, the rest probably don't care that much at that time, they probably think you are just the fling of the month for bruce - well usually the fling of the month is not that ... cheesy with him ? in their messages, and the conversations aren't usually that long ... nor do they go back that much. but whatever ! they do suddenly notice that it's been a while, since, well the last fling of the month of bruce but, it must just be a coincidence) which end up with them keeping tabs on you, just in case
now, you meeting them could happen in two way
either they are the one to meet you first - they don't want to wait for bruce to formally introduce you to them - or them to you. the one that 'lead' this is for sure damian, he is determinate to find out your intention with his father (and fight you), dick will lie and say he is just there to make sure everything go 'well' but he is just genuinely very curious about you and the fact that you are dating bruce - this can go for most of them, tho cass and tim are probably the one that are the most reticent to meeting you ? but nevertheless, they still are here, because they for sure won't let damian and dick have all the 'fun'. now jason, is probably also coming for the shit and giggle.
or you meeting them could happen because of bruce - deciding that it's finally time you meet his kids, so he invite all of them to dinner telling them he was someone he wants them to meet, and telling you explicitly that he wants you to meet his family (and the people that are part of his family but aren't family family) - of course, he could talk about it with you first, he could never force you into that. the meet - dinner, probably do not go in the way bruce hoped for it to go (but truth be told, he wasn't expecting it to go the way he wished it did). it's not awful, nothing bad happen. it's just awkward. one of them (probably jason) let slip that they already knew about you - damian make it very clear that he doesn't accept you (and dick has to try to diffuse the situation and tell you that damian is just joking - damian is not joking and he gives a death glare to dick), tim probably do not say anything of half of the dinner before asking you a weird question about something he should have no information about (like what's up with one of your weird habit / quirk), cass is just silent - she assess you for the entirety of the dinner (she conclude by the end of it that you quite a nice person and that she likes you quite a bit), duke is very kind and is very polite with you (he is a bit apprehensive and isn't sure why he is there but he figures it's because bruce wanted to have at least one regular person treating you normally - dick is too ... enthusiastic for that role)
at the end of said dinner, when bruce is driving you home, it's probably the most silent ride home you have ever experienced. until you burst out laughing - the dinner was probably the funniest shit you experienced. it felt like it came straight out of a shitty tv show with 14 seasons. sure it was very much awkward but still funny ! you reassure bruce that it was fine, though you could have liked a warning.
and ... you can add a yandere twist on it, and i love yandere so ... . some of them (tim and cass and probably dick) could start developing yandere tendencies when they learn of your existence ( and keep 'tab on you' aka stalks you and learn everything they can about you ), the others (damian and jason + eventually steph and duke even though they are probably some of waaay lesser yandere-y yandere) could start becoming like that after they finally meet you in person. damian could be the one to take the most or less time to become attach on you, it depend, but he could go thru a big phase of 'i refuse for you to replace talia, my mother, therefor i will despite your entire existence' but if you try to get closer to him, this phase will end very soon and his barrier melt away, if you want to let him take his time to accept you, the result will be the same but damian will try to make up for the time he hated you.
and of course, yandere bruce could be so happy for you to like / get to know and get closer to his family, and that's one more way he can tie you to him !
#my brain broke half way thru writing this because i had too many ideas coming at once#(of course obligatory disclaimer that i have never read any batman comics - this is purely based off different dc cartoons + fanfic i've#read online and ofc the webcomic. of course this is very ligh hearted and the characters are very much not the tortured souls they are in#canon here !)#gender neutral reader#batfam x reader#dc x reader#bruce wayne x reader#jason todd x reader#dick grayson x reader#damian wayne x reader#damian al ghul x reader#tim drake x reader#cassandra cain x reader#duke thomas x reader#yandere x reader#yandere batfam#yandere dc#batfamily x reader#bruce x reader#batman x reader#yandere batman
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made crumbs for myself but I'm throwing the blame on Vampirook's imagination Still mad at myself because I'm not satisfied enough yet with how I draw Rollo hhghqfhgrhsfds time to stare at the source material for hours to examine, maybe light a candle and pour a glass of wine idk

Also throwing in a Rook edit I did of that pingu edit because I had it laying around in the image gallery :))) a crumb for you there reading rn (it will follow you around affectionately)
#twst#rollo flamme#rook hunt#croissant de lune#i guess#just took something i thought looked cool from pinterest and idk rollo is my dress up blorbo so him it is ! even if it's ooc#and by ooc I mean rollo smiling for good reasons ofc#(I'm sure he could smile fondly in canon... after a lot of therapy like at least half of the cast)#he would absolutely wear scandalous outfits (non)#One day I'll find something on pinterest he can pull off with his terrible haircut/affectionate#and I'll draw him better hopefully hhghdfe I love him so much I don't understand how I still can't manage to draw him nicely#but I must continue to feed myself just like fic writers ending up writing what they are looking for
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Prepare for the unexpected. (DPxDC)
Everyone knew about the reign of Pariah Dark. Even those who did not dabble in those realms have heard the tale of the tyrant. A power-hungry man who ruled over the dead with an iron fist.
Following the rise of Pariah Dark, his realm had been effectively cut off from communication. Many mystics and magic users knew better than to open the door of nightmares that could arise if Pariah Dark's reach went further than his own realm.
Except, the universe had plans to bring the realm of the dead back into the cards.
A new opponent, one that had all of Earth's heroes scrambling for options. A being with powers of a god over weather, destruction was on the horizon. A world ending threat.
It's the only reason the Justice League was doing this. In a deep bunker, far from close civilization as a precaution, the heroes looked on with grim expressions.
The world was already being threatened. It would be destroyed regardless of what the league did. So it only made sense to make the last ditch effort. To summon someone strong enough to defeat the threat.
No one wanted to do it. No one wanted to be the one to pull the realm of the dead back to the living. The consequences were untold if this succeeded. If Pariah Dark was freed and defeated the threat, whose to say he won't want control?
That was a problem for later. For the aftermath. For now, the league could only watch on with bated breath as Constantine completely the summon ritual.
They watched on as the shadows in the room seemed to darken and grow. As the sigil sputtered to life with a glow that was growing increasingly brighter. A sudden gust of wind rushed through the room, the temperature began to drop with eaching ticking second.
And then it was all gone.
The room stood perfectly still. Just as it had been moments before. Nothing changed. No giant king standing before them, no sign that the ritual worked.
The room stood deadly still for another beat before the murmurs started. The team trying to make sense of the situation, figure out what went wrong.
Constantine swore up and down that this was the correct ritual, taking offense that they would even think the problem was on his end. It only made it better when it finally happened.
A loud sound ripped through the room, pulling everyone's attention back to the summoning circle. Just in time to see a tear appear in the space above the circle.
A thin tear that ran the length of eight feet. The fabric of the dimension seems to curl at the edges, pulling back to reveal a deep glowing swirl of greens. A dark gloved hand reached through, fingers curling around the edge of the tear, stretching it even further.
A portal. The ritual had worked, but there had been a delay. A delay that had every hero nerves on edge. Each team member tensed, weapons at the ready as they watched the being stretch the portal to the right size.
Then, a foot stepped out with a heavy thud. A dark boot that looked otherworldly despite its similarity to mortal clothing. A deep black that seemed never-ending. A second foot quickly followed before a full body emerged from the portal.
Not many people in the room have ever seen Pariah Dark, let alone know what to expect. Based on what Constantine and Zatara had said, this wasn't Pariah Dark.
A man had stepped out of the portal, standing at almost seven feet tall, and built like a brick house. One glance at the glowing white hair, deadly red eyes, and shard teeth was enough to know this being was not to be messed with.
But there was no giant show of armor or royal garbs. There is no large crown at the top of his head or jewelry from the infinite realms laced around his neck.
Instead, the man stood before them in combat boots, worn-in ripped jeans, a graphic t-shirt, and a spiked leather jacket. Despite his almost normal clothing choice, the man's jacket seemed to be a never-ending depth of the dark night sky. If one was to look closely enough, the cosmos could almost be made out in the sea of darkness.
None of that would have prepared them for when the man spoke. His tone sounded more bored than anything as he took a step forward.
"Oh, so now you need the help of the dead." The man had spoken, running a hand through his hair. When Batman took a step forward to speak, the man raised a hand. Immediately commanding silence in the single gesture. "I'm on babysitting duty and have yet to have a cup of coffee. I'll be right back."
Just like that, both the man and portal vanished into thin air. Leaving behind a group of stunned heroes. Not only was the man not Pariah Dark, but he was also supposedly babysitting.
"Did that just-"
The Flash had been the first voice to speak up, his eyes trained on where the man had once stood. Except he had barely made it through the first few words before the man was suddenly back.
The man that now had a child hanging off his shoulders and another teen being held up by his scruff. Unlike the man, these kids looked human.
Too human for Bruce's liking. The dark black hair and bright blue eyes had every heroes eyes flickering to Batman for just the briefest moment.
"This isn't fair! I'm not even the king. Why do I have to be here!" The teenager had been complaining the moment the man had reappeared. Arms crossed tight over his chest and seemingly used to being held dangling. "Besides, who brings kids to a show down! Wait til I tell mom about this."
"Aw, come on, Danny. This is gonna be fun!!" The younger girl seemed in much better spirits than the teen, Danny. She had climbed up the large man, sitting on his shoulders and resting her arms on the mess of glowing hair. "It's like take your kids to work day! Ooo, Dan! Can we fight too!?"
Unlike the two kids, the man looked purely exhausted and annoyed. The man, Dan, dropped Danny like a sack of potatoes as he took a long drink from the travel cup in his hand.
It didn't take a genius to recognize the look of an exhausted parent in Dan's expression. A look many of the league members were well acquainted to. A look that even had Batman grimacing with sympathy.
"Can it, little shits. You two were grounded, remember." Dan had growled at the kids before shifting his focus back on the team of heroes before them. His glowing eyes set in a deadly glare. "Pariah Dark isn't coming, and he never will. He's been dethroned and banished. We're the best you've got."
A summoning that started with a group of on edge and scared heroes looking for the ghost king, ended in a way no one expected.
No one was even sure if it made any sense. They weren't sure if they should feel hopeful or in despair.
Because truly, what was a ghostly man with two seemingly human children against a godlike foe with the control over the weather?
The unspoken question of power and ability seemed to vanish following Dan downing the metal travel cup of coffee, and crushing it in his fist.
He tossed it to the side, straighting up his posture as he looked over the heroes. Dan might not be a hero, but he's been playing family for too long.
An almost feral, bloodhungry grin spread across the man's face, sharp fangs on full display. The look made the man suddenly look even less human. He looked closer to a demon from the pits of hell rather than the exhausted parent he looked just a few seconds ago.
"Point me in the direction of this bastard. It's been too long since I let loose and had some fun."
#danny phantom#danny fenton#phandom#dc x dp#batman#dcxdp#dp x dc#dp x dc au#dp x dc crossover#justice league#I've been toying with the idea of following Pariah Dark's end the zone abolished the idea of a one true king#instead setting up a counsel of the most trusted ghosts and deities with in the zone; including Pandora and Clockwork#I also like to vote for Technus to be on the counsel and Ghostwriter to be like the secretary/note taker#after Ghostwriter stopped being an asshole ofc ofc#I kinda have this list of specific details I've created for this idea and like I keep thinking up new ones#like the Phamily's backstory is somewhat canon complaint with the show but also a whole mess of complex shit#like the expanse of Danny turning into phantom and the events that occurred still did except technically they never did#it's clockwork's time mumbo jumbo type of shit#Ellie had to be deaged some to help stabilize her core so I'm roughly saying she's like 7-8 years old#but idk children so idk how a 7-8 year old actually looks or how they usually act or talk#The JL seriously don't know if they should be hopeful or not but Dan's grin and excitement makes it seem more promising#I like to imagine Bruce is just watching Dan with Ellie and Danny trying to figure out if he's actually a good father or not#people being surprised to find out that Ellie Danny and Dan are all technically orphaned siblings#while Dan is just trying to coparent his siblings with the help of a time god an earth goddess a princess and a dirtbag with a motorcycle#dan phantom#ellie phantom#I can go on and on so I'll force myself to stop now#long post
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I'm on a trip rn and drew my lovelies 💖💖
They deserve to go feral
#pepper's art#digital art#ibis paint x#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf sb#fnaf security breach#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#pov: youre ass at arts and crafts#pov: you suck at color by numbers#pov: SUN YOU LIL BITCH THIS AINT ENOUGH TIME TO COLOR MY GAWDAM PAPER PAL-#moons over here like a feral cat#just ITCHING to fuck someone up#his only impulse control is sun#who is notoriously on his last nerve#this is the dynamic i see in them#feral roommates who ONLY JUST keep from going apeshit#ignoring canon sb ofc#as is my default uwu#ignoring canon i mean#because yes#ANYWAY#XDD#tag rambles are my fav-#fnaf revival au
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I've been brewing this post for far too long in my drafts, but I need more doomed!Bruce and Jason throughout universes. And it is not even always about the same Jaybin, dying in the warehouse scenarios!
Sometimes Jason is just a kid, who died in front of Batman, who maybe jumped in between Batman and the villain recklessly, to keep him safe, and whose blood stuck under Bruce's nails. His face haunts him in nightmares, still.
In other realities, Bruce meets Jason as a teen, and they never even get to become father and son officially - but they slowly get into each other's lives, until something awful happens, leaving a ghost of a smirking kid stroll behind Bruce's hunched figure for the rest of his life.
Or maybe it is one of these realities, where Jason crawls out of the Alley Crime himself, and manages to become famous in Gotham; the one, where he opens a charity fond, dedicated to people, who fight with the drug addiction. Bruce Wayne is sympathetic of a kid he meets during some of the events, and as they slowly start contacting each other more often, getting closer, he promises himself to protect him. Expect, Batman is late to save Jason Todd from the hands of yet another villain.
It could be the priest Jason Todd that meets bleeding out Batman on the stairs of the church, and who helps him out, for what he later pays with his life. Or they are not really vigilantes in any of these universes - just father and son.
And in some of these universes, they reconcile. In one of them, some of the medics connect the dots that a catatonic boy, who is covered in dirt, calling for his dad, for Bruce is Bruce's Wayne dead son, and try calling him. In another, LoA!Jason with his memory still being in a haze, crosses his path with Batman, before getting dipped in the Lazarus Pit.
But the point stands.
In all of them, Bruce Wayne is too late. In all of them, Bruce Wayne fails to save Jason Todd.
#i actually have a specific scenario in my head#basically early 20tish Jason who works as a bartender in Alley Crime#and Bruce (still Batman) who never picked up anyone after Dick#but his relationship with Dick is still strained#they try to mend things but more often than not they can't find a common ground#Bruce once visits this bar where Jason works too tired and mourning his parents that day and Jason amuses him#Jason not instantly understands Bruce is Wayne until he leaves him tips higher than 1k dollars lol#Bruce starts visit more#Jason shares his lore a little - he was picked up by the owner of the bar as a kid#they talk about books and about the fact that Jason saves money for college#Bruce helps him out ofc#he invites him to meet Alfred and Dick#everything is okay#and then... Joker happens#he takes Jason as a hostage bc he figures out that Batman knows the boy#Jason atp knows that Bruce is Batman but never confronts him about it#this time Batman comes in time#Jason tries to kill Joker but Batman stops him#so Jason doesn't kill him#they hug#and when they hug Joker shots Jason#of course Batman blames himself lmao#he might or might not fail to keep himself in check and kills Joker after this#but he instantly leaves his cowl behind because he can't allow himself to live with what happened#if you want a happy ending red hood can return in the same manner as in canon but without beefing bruce ofc#jason todd#bruce wayne#red hood#batman
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theres no going back for me im afraid
#it followed bumble hehe#bumble's gonna forget to feed it they have to take it away to prowl#i feel like in the show bee never really showed appreciation for animals unlike prowl so i like 2 think prowl starts-#getting bumble into that softer side by showing how. fragile these helpless these things are#will ofc compare them to sari for better results lol#i really. want to expand canon in so many parts of the show...#bumble's kind for sure but nowhere close to gentle unlike prowl and that last scene of the ep of-#teaching bee stillness was really cute. but sad bee never recalled back to it later eps. so having a temporary pet would be nice for that#i can;t be thinking so deep about them already man what the hell#bumblebee#transformers animated#tfa
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portraits for a de au i think about a little bit
#hellboy#abe sapien#bprd#disco elysium#fanart#my art#drawing so many crossovers is hard cuz i get nervy tagging it as the less relevant half!#rambling abt au in tags#its very half formed but yes theyre basically harry and kim with personality adjustments#and the pale is kind-of replaced by yk the prophesized hellboy-wrought apocalypse#and his right hand talks to him like the horrific necktie#dont ask me the plot of this au but it might be more phasmid centric#it might have to be big af because it is so funny how unfazed hb would be by a tall stick bug#thats tuesday#but yeah hb is in a bad spot like hb in mexico. amnesia like harrier#they arent as pally as they were in the 80s in hb canon.. abe is frustrated#and other bprdlings are there too#jean is daimio ofc#judit is kate#portrait symbolism is scarce hbs is just harrys plus you know what in the bg#abes is a balance btwn sea and everything else... with a little more sea#and the dark and terrible deep is peeking over his shoulder#but we move#rambling concluded
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Gravity falls httyd au, is that anything? Transcript under the cut, more thoughts in the tags
Texts says “red” “very protective of Stan, messes with him a lot” “doing much better than in canon bc he isn’t alone + has someone to take care of”
#hmm au name…#dragon falls au#eh could be better#beetlart#gf#I have about zero ideas for actual plot#I was thinking fords dragon would be a stormcutter based off his journals#unsure of a name tho#Mabel would have a gronckle named waddles ofc#and for dipper I was thinking a terrible terror#his struggle to accept his dragon being so little and weak would be a parallel to his struggles with manliness#bill I haven’t decided#he’ll either be a character like drago bludvist#wanting to take over the world with an army of dragons and humans#but for a party instead of dragos motivations#or he’ll be a dragon like the red death#but able to telepathically communicate#actually yeah I like that more#hes stuck somehwere (magically?) and he wants ford to free him like in canon#I think Stan would lose a leg like hiccup would#i had no idea for a plot when I started writing these tags but now I do lol#gravity falls#gravity falls stan#stan pines#stanley pines#httyd au#art#gravity falls au
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real footage of me watching everyone in the AAA fandom use 'older woman' and/or 'older witch' to describe Agatha during her interactions with Rio in canon universe Agathario fics like Rio isn't literal Death and as old as the universe itself while Agatha is a mere 352 years compared to her and hence younger than her (thus not being the 'older woman' between the two of them):
#medialiteracyisDEAD
#what's airi thinking? ⋆。‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧。⋆#agatha all along#agatha harkness#agathario#rio vidal#agatha x rio#agatha all along spoilers#agatha harkness x rio vidal#guys please#don't forget their age gap i beg#not to mention that Rio is canonically an inch or so taller than Agatha too#agatha harkness has mommy issues#ofc she fell for death#RIO IS OLDER !!#lady death#like pleaaasee#my bbg rio did not just spawn out of thin air after agatha was born#death has always existed#she probably just made herself a corporeal form for agatha and thats about it#but she's still older !!#just because Kathryn Hahn is older than Aubrey Plaza doesn't mean Agatha is older than Rio 😭#'rio put her hand on the older woman's face' shit man#didn't realize death came into existence because of agatha#id say this is a prime example of people losing media literacy#but who tf thinks a 352 yr old witch is older than someone whos been around since the start of time??#she wanted an older woman#let her have her older woman 😭
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naruto couples as posts that remind me of them part 6? 7? idk
#all canon couples ofc#incorrect naruto quotes#naruto memes#naruto shitpost#naruto#incorrect naruto#naruto shitposting#naruto shippuden#kakashi hakate#kakairu#iruka umino#shikamaru nara#temari#shikatema#karui akimichi#choji akimichi#ino yamanaka#inosai#sai#naruto uzumaki#hinata hyuuga#naruhina#narusasu#sakura haruno#sasuke uchiha#sasusaku
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idk man i don't think people give kevin enough credit and i think he would actually be really happy for jean seeing him with jeremy. he's absolutely not stupid and he sent jean to the trojans knowing jean had a crush on jeremy and he was gently teasing jean about said long time crush when he was drunk there in california with them. he's seen jean suffer endlessly and he tried his best to protect him. and he trusts jeremy to no end, something that he himself reiterated when it seemed like jean had doubts about kevin sharing his secrets. and personally i think he was only surprised about jeremy learning french because he probably expected jean would never teach someone ever again after being punished for it in the nest. but he's seen how protective jerejean are of one another already (jeremy breaking up their fight and jean going after bryson). i don't think it would surprise kevin much at all
#idk i know everyone wants the angst of kevjean and kerejean#and while i do too#i just feel like it's not a fair assessment of kevin?#i'm basing this all off canon knowledge ofc which i find insane i have to clarify#anyways idk i think kevin would be happy for them in the sense that he'd know they're safe with each other#jean moreau#kevin day#jeremy knox#jerejean#the golden raven spoilers#tgr spoilers#the sunshine court#tsc#all for the game#aftg
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more 🩵🩷 bsky dump
#my art#fanart#fe3h#fire emblem three houses#hilda valentine goneril#marianne von edmund#marihilda#gf playing fe3h for the first time and i forgot how down bad hilda is for marianne#like thats canon huh#hilda is manifesting her 100k+ friends to lovers mutual pining slow burn eventual smut hurt/comfort there was only one bed scenario#but in a lowkey way ofc
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Tim meeting Lex at a gala when he’s young. and becoming gossip besties with him
i finally wrote it after it infesting my brain enjoy
——————-
Tim thought the gala was going to be like most of the others, boring, annoying, nothing happening. And then he saw Lex Luthor. And he's a smart man, probably the only other smart person in here so why not start a conversation?
Lex thought this gala was going to be boring and a waste of time. And then this small child comes up to him talking about gossip that he didn't even know? And mentioning his incredibly secret cloning project he just started a week ago? He's going to be a villain and Lex wants to be on his good side.
————————
Tim sighed, annoyed. Gala's have always been incredibly boring, the only slightly fun things that happen at them have been either Bruce Wayne "tripping" over something and drenching someone else with whatever drink or liquid is near, or overhearing gossip, such as Robert Dewitt cheating on his wife with his brother. That was a fun day.
This gala is looking to be about the same as always, just even more boring. Bruce Wayne isn't attending (understandable, The Joker just broke out of Arkham again. He's sure there's a cover story for why Bruce isn't here but he doesn't care about that), no one is drawing attention to any scandals yet, or at least not in his ear range.
The only vaguely interesting thing here is Lex Luthor actually attending it for once. The man usually never spares a moment for anything aside from Metropolis (disgusting) and Superman. So there's at least one other smart person here but he also happens to be a super-villain (not that the general public knows) so… Not like Tim can just walk up to him and talk right?
"So as I was saying it really is quite unfortunate that your son won't take the company, I always thought he was a rather charming young man-" Fuck it Tim's gonna go talk to the super-villain.
"Have you heard about Rebecca Strawling?" Tim asks Lex, who absolutely did NOT jump at this child sneaking up behind him (seriously how did he do that? Even Superman, a man who constantly floats, can't sneak up on him.). Lex blinks for a second because, yes he had and holy shit what a thing that is, and also how does this child know? Also why is this child talking to him?
"That… Depends. What have you heard?" Lex says hesitantly. Despite Rebecca's… everything, she still hid it incredibly well. If Lex wasn't so bored at these gala's he would never have known, so either this child is just incredibly nosy, or possibly an actual smart person in this room. Either option would prove far more interesting than what he had been doing.
"Well I've heard about the several affairs she's had with everyone she claims to hate. Business rivals, the poor, queer people, her husband's family, and if it's to be believed her own family." And… Holy fuck, Lex had not been aware of that last bit. He raises an eyebrow at the ending which prompts a slight grin from the child as he takes his phone out. "I have evidence."
Does Lex actually… Enjoy being near a kid barely in the double digits? Absurd.
"You know Tim, that man over there? He's almost bankrupting his company and family by sending their money to a 'client.' I believe all his business partners are looking for someone to replace his spot." It's been an hour and a half. This is the most entertained Lex has been at one of these in decades. If Tim finds himself following the black hair, blue eyes orphan trend Lex will take him in himself so help him God. He's insanely smart, not only is he excellent at reading people and finding dirt on them easily, he's incredibly skilled at hacking without any proper training on it. This is a villain in the making and Lex will not let himself fall on his bad side.
"Now, I have a moral question for you Tim. What do you think the ethics on making a weapon out of a clone would be?" He's been toying with the idea of cloning Superman lately, however the actual… Making it a weapon has been bothering him. If it comes out an adult man it could easily decide it wants to do something else and rebel, however what would the effects be on making a child weapon that was created for that sole purpose? The effectiveness of it?
"Easy. Don't make the clone a weapon. It's either an adult clone who could choose to be a soldier, and actually listen to you, or decide it won't listen and possibly end up exposing you. If it's a child clone then sure you get a weapon for a few years but not having a choice would end up making them resent you. Give them a choice on it, just like the Sidekicks, like Robin, Kid Flash, Speedy, all them. I'd assume you would want a meta clone anyway and most meta's feel a sense of duty with their abilities so it'd be likely for them to decide something along what you want. Just a matter on if they like you and go with you, or turn to the other side." Tim answers without missing a beat and wow what a concerning sentence that would be to hear from a child if he were anyone else. As it is he's delighted by the response.
"Although cloning a Kryptonian would probably alter it, simply wouldn't get enough material so you would likely have to substitute some of the material for human and at that point use your own and raise the clone as a child." What. That's far too specific. "Oh, sorry I probably should've kept it more broad. Anyway you should update your security systems." Definitely a super-villain in the making. One that he very much wants to be on the good side of. On that note now he needs to update his whole system.
"Ah, Tim I'm glad you picked up. I'm a father now! I'd like you to meet my son, his name is Kon-El-"
"Oh, I've already met him. You actually interrupted our call. Kinda late on telling me." Of course.
"You know I could adopt you as well, get you from that bumbling buffoon that is Wayne."
"Yeah but then my crush would become incestuous." His what? Know what he can work with this. Tim is joining his family one way or another.
Finally. A moment of peace for Lex to sit down, drink some coffee, and watch a rerun of his favorite show. "Luthor!" Oh great, the boy scout here to ruin his plans. Oh and is that his group for comic-con? There's the man of steel himself, Wonder Woman, Batman and… Wait. Oh this will piss Kal-El off to be ignored.
"Timothy! I was just about to call you. You remember Robert Dewitt, correct? You'll never guess what he's done now." Lex grins, standing up. He was meaning to update Tim on this particular… Creature. He's one of their favorites to catch up on, purely because of the absurdity of his debauchery. Although this time does have a reason, after all there's reason for dear old Robert to get locked up this time and he's been making some comments about Lex lately and well he can't just let that slide now can he?
Tim blinks for a second then realizes what Lex just said. "Wait you know? Of course you do why wouldn't you.. Actually wait that doesn't matter what the fuck did Robert do? Last I knew he wasn't allowed outside without an escort so I was expecting longer." Lex has a feeling it does in fact matter very much if the way Batman's eyes narrow and his jaw clench indicate anything. Lex needs to continue on or possibly get put in a hospital.
"Oh he's no longer allowed near animal shelters, so-" Kal-El cuts him off, incredibly rudely if he might add.
"What… What is going on here?" Poor man sounds so confused. Lex is savoring this moment.
"Well I know Timothy Drake is Red Robin. Clearly. Red Robin is the hero closest to becoming a villain which fits Tim quite well, and also Tim is the only Gothamite smart enough to be Red Robin. And infuriating enough to personally annoy Ra's al-Ghul on a regular." It's very simple honestly. Lex has no idea what's making this so complicated. "If it helps make you all feel 'safe' and 'secure' I could tell you about the time Timothy told me he had a crush on Kon-" And now Tim's thrown something at him. What is this, interrupt Lex day?
"Shut up! What if I told them about you and Clark Kent?" Ahh, expose his crush, get his own crush exposed. Well unfortunately Lex has no shame about that.
"You mean the man who could lift a 200 lb person with no effort? One of the very few good reporters?" Odd that Kal-El's face is getting red and confused but oh well. "Honestly though, who cares. You know Tim my offer for adopting you still stands. I know it must be absurdly easy to hide being Red Robin from your… family. However I think I could be of more assistance still." Batman's hands are clenching now. Interesting. "I mean you made a fake uncle to get out of being adopted by the oaf, I don't know why you didn't just let me." Ah, Batman's hands are unclenched. He must have thought that uncle was also real. Surprising, really, from 'The World's Greatest Detective' however they clearly have the wrong bat. "And does he even know about your missing spleen? Really, I should get him locked up for child neglect. Even I would notice if anything happened to Kon-El."
Tim's eyes widen at that and snap to Batman's equally wide eyes. They both jump into a sprint, Tim leaping out of a window with the Bat close behind. "Oh, did he not know? Oops."
Perfect. Hopefully that'll have been absurd enough that the Justice League leave him alone, and he can watch his show in peace.
#tim drake#bruce wayne#lex luthor#chaotic tim drake#batfamily#tim drake is a menace#dc stands for disregard canon#lex and tim gossip besties#slight timkon#slight clark x lex#lex heard this 10 year old talk about a project he’s only been vaguely thinking of and instantly wanted to adopt him#to mold him into villainy ofc#tim denied the adoption. but he’s gonna marry into the family anyway so it’s fine#bruce was a gonna reopen the whole lex knowing tim’s identity once he figures out wtf happened to tim’s spleen#clark is leaving the encounter insulted and flattered
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Chuuya definitely saw Dazai fall out of his cell.
Trust me, I’m Harukawa’s pen
#once i saw Dazai falling get animated i knew Chuuya would DIE LAUGHING if he saw it#and then i was devastated at the possibility that Chuuya missed it so here. now it’s canon#and right after this Chuuya had to do his weird vampire growl thing so ofc it sounded strangled 😭 (i’m delusional)#pls ignore my abysmal drawing skills i just needed to see this drawn 😭#bsd#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#bsd fanart#my art#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#dazai osamu#nakahara chuuya#skk fanart#bsd art#bsd comic
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