#and I am familiar enough with my own psychology to know what are the things that are dangerous for me lol

[onewomancitadel]

I think it's really really funny that a few years ago if you mentioned any of the potential evils of social media use you were summarily flogged in public for yucking someone's yum and people just trying to get by, and now every other post is 'omg Tumblr is a HAVEN in this time of INTERNET APOCALYPSE, Tik Tok/Twitter is poisoning peoples' MINDS, notification systems game your attention span!' oh is that so?

I agree that there are sometimes bigger things you need to be worried about. But social media is social, and it reflects social dynamics. Which, as social creatures, has a pretty big impact on us. It's just annoying when hedonism is such an incoherent philosophy and we're trying to protect people from the wrong things. And the reality is that you can keep doing things that you might know aren't the best for you but you can also curate the way you interact with these platforms lol. I even know people who left Tumblr because they felt even that small amount of online interactivity was 'bad'.

I am glad the conversation has opened up a bit though, no fingerwagging. I also think that looking at the ways in which social interactivity online is good is as beneficial as looking at the bad: yes, it's true that the Internet opens up for more inclusivity (housebound people, like the disabled, have the opportunity for more interaction) and like with the case of Tumblr, clearly there's something to this whole thing of sharing creativity. Lol

It's interesting to watch it evolve though. I do get annoyed when it swings in the other direction and introduces neurobabble or flatly reduces the issue to 'social media bad!' with all the accompanying clickbait of being someone with a slightly different marketable lifestyle, though. The problem with that - and any other lifestyle someone is trying to sell you on the Internet - is that it's all in the doing, and you don't overnight transform into the Right Person. It's not really how life works. This is why I think the individual journey matters, not the person who accrues all the correct behaviours from certified influencers. Hence issues with social media.

[directdogman]

Just wanna say that I'm a HUGE fan of Dialtown and DSaF. I absolutely LOVE the storytelling and the balance you have with the plot! The absurdity mixed with logic and realism that paints something that could very well happen is absolutely stunning! I truly admire you and your teams' (assuming it isn't just you but I'm not sure) skills.

I do have a question though! At some point I saw an ask that you answered regarding writing dialogue and the differentiation of writing characteristics in different characters! I have to ask, what does the process look like for dialogue writing? How the hell do you stay in the mindset of the character? It's something that I struggle with way too much in my own writing (with way too many Google searches on synonyms for different words) so I'm wondering what your process is. Especially when it comes to a character lole Oliver, who has a theatrical way of speaking. It feels like there's too little words in the English language but you have this guy that's using all of them in one sentence!

Anyways, hope you're having an awesome day. If not, I hope things improve! I hope this wasn't too lengthy of an ask, haha.

Hey, don't think I'm necessarily a master at this! Hell, you should see how much I have to google word synonyms! Seriously, every time I sit down to write, I do the very same! Even if you become familiar with every word in the English language, you can never really store them all in your head at once! There's people out there who kinda can, but that's the thing, you don't HAVE to be insanely skilled in that way to write compelling character dialogue because I sure as hell am not!

DW, you're on the right track! It gets easier, the more you do it, but there's no real secret to writing really good dialogue (at least, that I know of) other than just writing a lot and when possible, studying writing that you really like and trying to deconstruct what others do (and it sounds like you're already on the right track, in the regard!)

One thing that helps me is being able to think like the character. Understanding how they think, how they feel about the world, what makes them tick, etc. It's easy for me since I write characters that I tend to share some common experiences with (or characters that share traits with people I know intimately), but even I don't delve as deeply into character-psychology while I write as I could. But. I feel I know enough about my characters to understand their 'vibe' pretty well! TBH, sometimes I have to go and replay existing DT scenes just to ensure it all 'sounds' correct. If you get good at this, you can pretty much hear your characters speaking in your head! That makes what you're asking about a hell of a lot easier.

I'm really more of a student than a teacher in the grand scheme of things (I have a lot to learn, myself!) and honestly, just having an interest in writing and wanting to deconstruct the stuff that inspires you is a big plus in becoming a really good writer! As cliché as it sounds, I really am just one dude standing on the shoulders of giants. Never forget that writers who inspire you are in the exact same spot you are. Hope this helps!

[saigawrites]

My dear gelatin orb pet,

Seelie! Genshin x Platonic! Gn! Reader

Inazuma edition

Tags : crack, fluff, scenarios, headcanons

Warninigs : mentions of stalking, animal attack

Summary : you took home a strange creature that looked nothing like anything in your world. So you somehow try to live and be friends with the peculiar pet of yours.

A strange flying orb is now basking in your presence, observing you attentively. Uneasiness filled your entire being as you were stared down at, so you attempted to break the suffocating atmosphere by talking to the orbit. Minutes pass, and there is no reaction whatsoever, until the little thing flies off somewhere, only to return with a torn off paper sheet and a pencil in their tiny nubs.

Heizou ♥︎

"Hey~! I am Heizou, the great detective of Inazuma! It sure was a dream of mine to one day meet someone as odd as you! I hope we can get along with each other, even with our different physical traits. I was wondering, could I please make a psychological study with you? I want to know if there's any more oddities about you, especially your mind!"

Okay, why is this period blood blob trying to attempt psychological experiments with you now? You just met, and he's already looking through your soul 🧐.

You might suck at geography but you never heard anything about the so called 'Inazuma'. Wait, so he's an alien?

That theory have already explained why he was so interested in your psychology, and honestly, you were kind of scared of him after the realization.

But it was still hard to feel threatened by an dark red floating circle with a little bouncing antenna. Maybe he used that to communicate with his species?

You weren't familiar with the behavior of different creatures from another planets, but you discovered that these one seemed to be extra clingy.

He floats after you everywhere, always watching with the most attentive gaze, looking out for any type of quirks you might have. You became all the more aware of him, secretly staring at him with your peripheral vision so that he couldn't try anything funny🤨.

He would startle you a lot, annoying you and scaring you on purpose. He LOVES your reactions, whether it would be you losing your temper and tossing him around like a basketball, or you screaming at the top of your lungs when you feel something slimy wiggle under your shirt.

You're lucky that he doesn't do that all the time. Surprisingly, the cherry colored orb has his own business to do, which is just as strange as his appearance. He likes to go out, watch and stalk random people on the street. You found out when you caught him red-handed in the act, hiding behind a bush and looking at all the people passing by.

You tried to scold him, tell him that it's dangerous to go around for him like that, but to no avail, he would always nod in confirmation and then do the same thing on the next day.

So you decided to find him a hobby, something that would distract him long enough from harassing strangers on the streets. And that is, television. News channels in particular.

It was completely accidental when you found out about his interest. You were extra bored, and decided to finally watch the TV in like a decade. Soon you found your crimson red companion levitating in the hall, glancing at the TV and back to you a few times before flying to your side and nuzzling in your lap, making himself comfortable in your warm hoodie. Petting his tiny body, you both took in the situations happening all around the world.

Arataki Itto ♡

"HEY THERE!!! IM THE FAMOUS ARATAKI ITTO!! THE LEDER OF THE ARATAKI GANG!!! ITS NICE TO MEET YOU!!! WHATS YOUR NAME? LETS BE FRIENDS!! YOU LOOK SO COOL!!!! DO YOU WANT TO JOIN MY GANG?"

Woah, that's one... energetic light bulb. Bouncing on your office table cheerily while his long vertical horns wobble a bit, he squeaks excitedly as if he just found out he won a lottery. Well, he kinda did though, if you're the one to take care of him.

At least that's what he thinks, as your demonstration of desiring to bathe him from all the dirt and dust he somehow gathered gave him all the right signals.

Even if he splashed and spilled all the water onto you, and wiggled and squeaked under the turned on faucet like an over-energized parrot, still, you would rub his soapy circular body with care, patting him with the softest towel of yours that he was sure you were the fittest blob-parent of all.

Did I mention parrots? He is one. An even more chaotic one. You have to hold him with your most strong grasp from him speeding across your house like a flash, bouncing off walls, ceiling and the floor like a deflated balloon. You always have to scold him like a concerned parent about how his form is not exactly unbreakable, and he still needs to be careful with surroundings.

And that escalated into him finding your bed as the best trampoline he can access. You want to stop him and tell him that he's going to break the carcass if he continues, but you just can't resist the sight of a palm sized jelly ball jumping on your bed gleefully, ridiculously rotating in the air as he lets happy sounds escape his nonexistent vocal cords.

Sometimes you would curse the universe for making your circle companion this cute, because he sure can cause a lot of trouble. Almost getting mauled by the neighbors dog because he wanted to pet it two days ago and almost breaking all of your glass dishes because he wanted to help you make the table yesterday. Oh boy, I'm sure excited for what's in store for the future😀.

Though, it was what you should've expected from a supposed gang leader. He even invited you to be a member of this band of his, remember?

You do agree now with all those shoujo mangas where the gangsta would actually be a softie inside, because your glowing orange ball friend sure is, no matter how destructive he acts.

Yae miko ♥︎

"My, my... such a interesting creature you are! It is sure a blessing for me to be in your presence, another amusing humanoid~. I am the Guuji of the Grand Narukami shrine, Yae Miko. I am also the owner of the Yae publishing house. As a grandee of the kitsune clan, it is a pleasure of mine to be familiar with such a high being like you. I am in your care from now on, my dear~"

WHAT IS THIS LIGHT PINK DOWNTURNED FOX EARS GAS FILLED BALLOON ON🗣🙌💯🔥🔥

On all seriousness though, you tried your hardest to understand atleast half of what she wrote, but so far what you seemed to catch is that she's nowhere near an earth creature. Oh and her name is Yae Miko.

Confusedly glancing at her then at her message, your nerve cells steamed as they tried to figure out what type of emotions you should be feeling in this case. The guuji seemed to be quite entertained by your puzzled face and somewhat judging side eye.

Her actions make you no less confused, as you question why would she harshly tug on your clothes at the most randomest times of the day. Out of nowhere, the pink squishy orb would just sail in the air over to you, and then pinch a spot on your clothed body and pull it with an incomprehensible strength.

Which leads you to chasing her, speeding up after her oddly fast self. With groans and screams you would finally catch up to her and squeeze her annoying ass to smitherins☠.

If you don't react to her antics, she'll keep being even more of an ass and pinch on your skin, hard. So far atleast half of your body now itches and pulsates because of your flying jelly companion.

Other than annoying you, the cherry blossom blob with ears likes to do research. Literally on anything. It ranges from politics, history, culture to bitcoin, nfts and all of the other shady stuff. She doesn't take half of the happening seriously, finding the stupidity of your kind ridiculous.

Oh, and she is going to shove it in your face. Always giggling when you two would watch an educational video on some topic, as if making fun of you. When she would write her opinion on your communication notebook she would always leave a snide remark like "the absurd that your kind ensues never ceases to humour me" or some shit.

She really just makes fun of your whole existence as if she's superior in any way. You do your best to hold yourself and not slap her into the oblivion. Oh, but she knows you would never do that. She knows.

Kokomi ♡

“I, Sangonomiya Kokomi, want to greatly express my gratitude towards your actions, human-like creature with a pure soul. Your kindness will always be remembered and appreciated in my heart. Now, as you read this, I shall, as the grand seigneur of Watatsumi affairs, be taken care of by you, as you are in capability to do so. I am one of the descendants of the Sangonomiya clan, and my full form being taken away from me is a major cause of danger for me. I hope you understand my demands, and I hope you will comply with them.”

A lot of confusing words and hard to spell names didn’t stop you from looking at her with puppy eyes and an ‘aww’ escaping your lips. Even though her tone might sounded a bit bossy near the end, your inner mother instincts still kicked in and your heart swore to protect the light globule that looked at you with anticipation.

Her colour pallet reminded you of aqua monsters, something along the lines of mermaids, sirens, and the similar. And you kinda guessed it, since the way your pink and ocean blue pearl like friend gravitated towards water was as if a magnetic pull was in between them.

The funniest thing is that at the first few days she didn’t even know you had water in your house. Modern furniture confused her senses and for a while she thought your biology didn’t require water.

Until one day you came particularly tired home, and the only thing in your mind was the thought of running a warm calming bath with the aroma of your sweet candles. Not noticing your dwarf merblob levitating right after you and watching you turn on the bath faucet, made you jump in your place when she plopped herself in the filling water.

You were about to groan and ask her to get out, up until your gaze fell on the itty-bitty joyous expression that she demonstrated while floating in the lukewarm liquid. With a snort, a small smile followed along with a defeated look. Letting the spheroid bathe instead of you, you contemplated about her otherworldliness.

It all escalated into a degree where she would spend almost all of her time in your bathroom, swimming in your bathtub hours on end. On your knees, with pleas and begging, you would query her to get out of the pear shaped tank, but to no avail, the deep sea creature would just ignore your whines and continue flowing around in the water.

“Komi please, I haven’t bathed in a decade.”

“Splash. Blub blub blub.”

And there she goes again, making bubbles and blowing them at your face as a response. Even so, you still let the marine pearl have her way, as she’s way too adorable to be mad at.

Kazuha ♥︎

“Come driving rain or winds that churn, I shall return, by blade alone, armed, if barefoot, to my home... I am Kaedehara Kazuha, a wanderer who roams the land. Fate alone has destined us to meet, thus it is a great gift for us to be able to communicate, distinctive individual. May I put a question to your origins, your story, and your name?”

What is he, a poet of some sorts? Such a distinguished gentleman, saying such extravagant things, but looking so ridiculous it could kill a person.

Guessing was probably your only best talent, as this japanese flag jello was immaculately successful at using all of the paper and stationary that he could find in your house to make his pieces of art.

Or the “haikus” as he calls them. Paper scrolls all over any hard surface, fully scribbled over with elegant handwriting. You wonder how the heck can a round strawberry marshmallow with nibs instead of hands write so much and also write prettier than you could ever manage.

Reading through those is one embarrassing of a trip as more than 70% of the writings are about you. The other 30% are about the environment, the furniture, the nature, the textures and sometimes about his homeland as you assumed.

And no you definitely didn’t bawl your eyes out while reading those and no you certainly didn’t feel sorry for the tiny little guy and no you for sure didn’t hug him in the most gentlest way and promise him that you’ll somehow get him back, no, beyond any doubt that didn’t happen.

On another note, this guy was unquestionably the cause of your literature grades significantly improving. Both you and your teacher are raising a brow at how good you instantaneously became at writing essays and other in the sorts. You even caught yourself in the act of speaking flowery, as if your 18th century self out of the blue found themselves in the modern world.

And that’s all thanks to Kazuha, and his litres of poetry inside your house. What’s outside your house though, is his music. Yea, turns out your spherical friend is talented in tunes too.

On one particular morning when you two were in a public garden, choosing an outlying area to have your picnic in, you came across a eerily wholesome phenomenon.

Holding a tree leaf in his itty-bitty arms, he seemed to be performing a tune with the help of the frond. You stared at your pal in awe, mouth wide open as a beautiful melody rang through your ears.

When your homeboy finished his little concert you couldn’t help but clap gleefully and throw wows at his excellent performance. Just how lucky were you to befriend such a talented jelly orb.

ARGGFDDDDGJSFICGGV IM SORRY FOR BEOMG SOOOO SLOW😭😵😰😓 I’m currently in a middle of a whole makeover of my house so it’s kinda unmotivating for me to do literally anything but no worries, your homegirl will always find a way to deliver🔥🔥🔥🔥

[gimmeurtummy]

Ethereal Desires: Chapter 1

Pairing: Lee Know x Y/n × Hyunjin (Y/n x Jeongin) (Brief Heeseung x Y/n) (ft. Jay)

Genre: supernatural, triangle love, unrequited love, angst, 2nd chance, 'so called star crossed lovers', what if's, deaths, scary stuff in a cute way

Chapter warnings: Domestic abuse, mention of alchohol, mention of death

"If you could change one thing about your life, what would that be?" Was the first thing her Psychology teacher asked the class today. It was a trick question to be honest, with a lot of outcomes. Apparently, she chose to pretend to be satisfied with her life, but with all honesty, she wasn't. And everyone knew.

As soon as she had stepped out of the class, a familiar wave of nostalgia washed over me. She wasn't used to walking out of classes alone, no, not once he came along. If she was Lily Bloom, then he was her Atlas Corrigan, that's how she used to view herself back as an emotionally unstable teenager. But when she saw him lying in the casket, after being in a coma for 2 years, she knew that everything was a dream. 

From then, she had grown up a lot, both emotionally and physically, and had tried her best to put everything behind herself, but standing here at the stairs of my own house, she felt unsafe in all the ways possible. Y/n took a deep breath, and pushed the door away, it made a silent creak, but it was very quiet to be noticed. She carefully closed the door and took off her shoes, and made my way to the staircase.

"Y/n? Is that you?" She closed my eyes, a soft curse falling off of her lips. There's no point in hiding anymore, she slowly walked towards the kitchen. "I made cookies!" Her mother smiled, placing the tray on the counter. She took in her appearance, apart from the bruises, she looked fine. "Here, have some."

"I am not hungry," Y/n lied, but in reality, her body was hurting so bad all she wanted was to drop dead.

"Are you okay? Did something happen?" Before she could rush over to me, she stepped back. And gave a tight smile, followed by a "I'm fine." Y/n turned on her heels and left before her mother could ask her any more questions. Sighing,she closed the door, dropping her bag by the edge of the bed, she flopped down. Her eyes focused on the now fading off white ceiling which had been last painted when her medium sized room was her nursery. Her eyes scanned the room, most of the things she had, things she loved were now gone. Sold to a thrift shop, because 2 jobs weren't paying her enough to get a bare minimum decent apartment. 

She blindly searched for the laptop on her bed, and sat up once she had her hands on it. The screen had an impressive crack, thanks to her father. The sides were dent, and the color was fading away. She turned it on, and searched for more apartments. The air blew the curtains further in her room, and the clock ticked silently. Her eyes scanned the article with a deep frown. Once. Twice. Thrice. She checked her notepad and let out a deep breath, the apartment was being rented out at a low rate. Surprisingly, no one had applied for it. She quickly sent in a, "I'm interested in this offer," before getting up to get ready for work.

Like everyday, today wasn't also in her favor, she huffed, staring out of the window at the busy street as the day passed by quite slowly. Pushing her hair out of her face, and straightened up and wore a polite smile to greet the customer who had just walked in, and just at her moment her phone vibrated with messages. She skillfully ignored the vibrations, and focused on her work. 

The doorbell of the cafe rang, as the night had already fallen, and it was quiet all around, it was not the first time Y/n had to deal with a customer coming after the closing hours. “I'm sorry, the cafe's closed,” she said, wiping the nth table. 

“Oh, I was actually here for L/n Y/n,” the skin on her body stood up at the words she turned around crossing her hands over her chest. “How may I help you?”

The man in front of her wouldn't be older than 30, his hair was styled back and he was wearing an expensive suit with glasses, “You applied for the house article I posted a while ago.” Y/n slowly nodded, frowning. Upon understanding her  confusion he quickly added, “It's not the smartest idea to put up the shifts you work on the shops on social media.”

Y/n took a deep breath, “Yeah, I know, but what about the house?”

“Oh it's available,” he nodded quickly. “It's actually a mansion I must admit, so you will have to share with others.”

“And I wonder why the rate was so low,” She thought to herself. “That's not a problem.”

“Great, if you are free we can go and visit it tomorrow,” he smiled a little too wide for the given situation, making Y/n nod wearily. After exchanging numbers the man left in a hurry. Y/n couldn't help but clutched the cleaning rag in her hand, an uneasy feeling washing over her. 

A sigh escaped her lips as she stared at the front door of her own house. Her chest filled with doubt as to whether to sneak in, or let them know about her presence. Y/n entered the house and closed the door silently, and took off her shoes. Just as she was about to sneak up the stairs, a movement caught her eye.

“Stop right there!” She heard her father's gruff voice, yelling at her. She closed her eyes before opening them again and turned to face her father. “Where were you?”

She sighed, rubbing the tip of her nose, “I work late shifts on Saturday.”

“Don't lie to me!” His loud voice made her flinch. “I know what they told me! There was a man at the cafe after it was closed!” 

“That's really creepy and weird of you,” she pointed out, and no sooner had she taken one step, she was pulled back by her bag and thrown down the staircase. Her head collided with the wall behind, her vision going blurry for a moment and her  ears ringing. 

Once she came back to my senses, she heard her mother yelling at her father, and him just yelling back at her. Her mother did her best to distract him, so she could slip into her room. Crawling up the stairs, she did. She silently slipped in and locked the door, and pushed her nearly empty glass book rack in front of it. Her bag fell off her shoulder as she dropped onto the ground, tears flowing freely.

Her nose scrunched up, forming wrinkles of confusion on her face. The mansion was lavish, the maintenance cost could pay off 4 times of her house loan. The living room was twice as big as her house. But the thing that confused her was the price. Even having to share the house with others did not explain the low cost. 

She took in her new room, which was bigger than her room, her parents room and the guest room combined. It has been 3 hours since she walked out of her home. Her mother didn't even try to stop her, knowing if she stayed there, there was no future for her. Her father had been gone since 6 in the morning. The landlord was confused, but understood her desperation to get over the paperwork and move in.

Y/n dropped her bag on the ground and sat by the window, overlooking the garden. A girl, about her age was listening to music and scribbling on a book. She stood up and wiped her hands on her pants, and walked downstairs. Just as she passed by the hallway, her shoulder brushed agasint another taller and broader shoulder. Her head snapped back, but the figure of a boy, his head low was already disappearing into another room. Her breath picked up, the scent, the touch, it felt too similar. 

She turned away continuing down the stair case, once she had closed the door behind herself the cold air greeted her like an long lost friend, making her pull her jacket tighter around herself. Another girl, her age probably, long black hair running down was yelling at the landlord, who calmly dealt with her. Seeing how calm he was, the girl felt frustrated and marched passed her back into the house.

Y/n looked a little amused and continued on her way, “You don't look like someone to get on others’ nerves.”

The man took of his glasses rubbing his nose before putting them back on, “Believe me, I get that a lot. She asked permission to throw a party.”

“And you said no?” She chuckled.

The man shrugged with a upside down grin, “I said no alcohol,” she made her laugh, because it sounded pretty stupid. Party without alcohol. A comfortable silence filled the atmosphere, making her forget why she even came here. “I suggest you stay inside the house, if you don't have any work outside of course, it's cold here.” With a nod her turned to take his leave.

“Hey, sir!” Y/n called out. “I didn't ask your name…”

He turned back, his car door opened and smiled, “Park Jongseong.”

“Do you need something?” The girl, whow as scribbling looked up at her. “You have been lingering here for a while now.”

“Oh,’ Y/n shrugged in embarrassment. “I am just new here, I have nothing to do…”

The girl tilted her head frowing, “Don't you have any shift today? At the library right?”

Y/n nodded slowly, “You are an weakly visitor, I took off today.”

The girl shurgged her shoulder, “Your library needs to stack up more books on dark magic,” she paused briefly. “Alex.”

“Y/n,” she said timidly, turning away to leave catching the faint ‘I know’. “Ask Heeseung to show you the library!” She froze. Heeseung? The frown deepening on her face. “Lee Heeseung?” She turned to look back at the girl who slowly nodded. 

Y/n took fast steps inside the house, mumbling to herslef, “It's okay, don't worry, there are plenty of Lee Heeseung's out there, that are just as tall as him and smell—”

“Watch your steps dummy!” The voice scolded her in the familiar tone. Y/n rubbed her back, whining internally until the voice hit her ears.

Oh no. 

[thecoffeelorian]

And now, for something slightly different...

Hello again, everyone...

...Okay, gang...before we get started here, there's something I think I need to confess here first.

I don't know how in the world I'm supposed to feel about this show any more.

I mean...in the beginning, I thought their arc was clear as a bell: start removing every single darned inhibitor chip they could find, start the evac efforts to an Outer Rim planet, and then start rebuilding new lives, the end.

Instead, it's turned into what looks like a never-ending negative feedback loop: don't lift a finger to rescue a certain person; get told to give a darn about said person by the child character; finally act on the child's orders...but then as a creepy consequence for giving a darn at all, the title squad/'family'(?) starts watching its members not rethink one side of an ideological/psychological divide and leave them; not give up completely on rescuing Troopers/join the Margaritaville Society and leave them; not remember that there are human weight-bearing birds on a certain mountain planet and leave them; finally agree to be caught by the Empire in order to locate Mount Tantiss and leave them...and oh yes, let's add a 'Will They Kill A Brother/Won't They Kill A Brother' game to the mix, if things weren't totally weird enough...I mean, all right, already.

If this show WASN'T about having all six title characters come back together as a true family on an asylum planet, what IS happening here?

How in the world am I expected to respond to repetitive, exhausting moments of disaster and family splintering when for three whole years, I was endlessly told that there was NO disaster, that this was the PERFECT family, that they would NEVER end up shedding members one by one, etc...and...everything that the big-name fans and fandom influencers said WOULDN'T happen IS, in fact, happening right this very minute.

In other words, the squad and family keeps on disintegrating a little bit more with each new season, and I'm left thinking the same thing a few of you must have thought at least once.

Why am I here?

Is it because I'm studying this series as a whole like a certain Chiss studies art, and searching for all of its strengths and weaknesses in order to better improve my own writing? Is it for the sake of wishing to learn how to draw better, and practicing the craft in the safety of something familiar? Or, am I instead becoming some manner of corporate counter-revolutionary, and taking up fanworks as my mode of protest against stories that revolve more around too-short moments of cuteness and horror, sometimes solely for shock value alone...?

I'm afraid I can't answer questions like these just yet, no, not even to myself. I can only read and write and pretty much grieve everything that these episodes/seasons were supposed to be...yet for Force knows what reason, keep getting relegated to the same few plot points over and over again while expecting different results. I can only hope that there's some eventual breakthrough to make it all worth it in the end, if only to rid myself of the thought that this could be the very first bit of Nihilist media in the fandom.

Anyway...*deep breath* Now that I've given you my two cents on this issue...let's get right to my picks of the week, which, thanks to the return of a very interesting sister, I'm unofficially titling this as:

THE DATHOMIR EDITION

The Bad Batch Fan Art

Captain Howzer by @thespianwtch.

She Is Mommy by @anko-art.

Star Wars Rebels Fan Art

Alexsandr Kallus by @ghosty-blues1.

The Bad Batch Fan Fiction

You know, brother by whiteaxolotl

Fight Like Brothers Do by AgentMaryMargaretSkitz

deprogramming by vicious_creature

Whatever Is Necessary by ChopSyndulla

Domiciles by Polyphonic_Garden

Star Wars Sapphic Week, Day 5--Sparring by @violetjedisylveon

Serpent's Kiss by mediumsweet

Not A Soldier by TigerTheSpahget

Star Wars Sequels Fanfiction

What We Do In The Resistance by AgentMaryMargaretSkitz

And now, I'd like to put in a small advertisement, if only to bring more attention to an up-and-coming artist: @ve-ti-ver has started up their own Patreon page, available at this link . So, if you'd like to support them, please feel free to visit their page.

Finally, yes, you probably all know the drill by now...but just in case you need a reminder, here we go: Please give this post a like and a reblog, so that we can pass this post around the Internet and back!

This Week's No Pressure Tags Go Out To: @sharpasanaro @bananasugarwarrior @lazyprofessorpursesalad @callsign-denmark @melymigo @yeehawgeek @littlefeatherr @anko-art @guppyfreedom @giraffedragon-universe @clonebrainrot @gun-roswell @omglisalithium @falconfeather23435 @uuurgh @simply92-me @skellymom @metalatl @dathomirdumpsterfire @kuraiummei @thedynamicworm @ur-pal-ari @advisorsnips @groguandthebadbatch @lee-lee-la @themightychipmunk42 @random-chaotic-bitch @wastingstarsss @flyiingsly @ilovemedia @talesfrommedinastation @swarovski-yoda and anyone else who might be interested in catching more fanart and fanfictions.

Thank you, good afternoon, good luck, and...

[sineala]

What do you think of Iron Man Volume 2? The Heroes Reborn stuff

When you asked this, I had not read any of v2 -- for any title -- beyond isolated panels, and I was fully prepared to tell you it was bad.

Then I thought, "No, I haven't actually read v2 properly, and I shouldn't just say that without having read it. I should form my own opinion. And IM v2 is only 13 issues." So I just read it.

It's still bad.

The sad thing is that it's not actually the worst comic I've read. It's bad, but it's only… medium bad? I have definitely read things that are worse than Iron Man v2. That doesn't mean it's in any way good. It's just not The Worst.

(It's The Crossing. The Crossing is worse than IM v2. If you have any other answer to "what is the worst comic book?" then I know that you have not read The Crossing because there is no other possible answer. Nothing is worse than The Crossing. Please do not take this paragraph as some kind of reverse-psychology encouragement to try to read The Crossing. It is so bad. It is bad in a way that no other comic can even approach. You will be sorry. I own it in hardcover.)

Insofar as anything would have been able to improve the IM v2 reading experience, it turns out that reading IM v2 in isolation doesn't do it a lot of favors. I didn't know this before I read any of it, but there are multiple issues that are crossovers with FF, Cap, and Avengers v2 -- and they're the kind of four-part crossover where each part is really in a different book, so it's hard to wing it. I knew that the #13 issues were Wildstorm crossovers, and in the case of IM v2 #13 specifically StormWatch (which I am familiar with in the sense that I've read The Authority so I know who Jenny Sparks is, but I don't know that I ever read the original StormWatch, because it's been a while). Anyway, it turns out that #6 and #12 are also the same kind of four-part crossover, so like a quarter of this comic is already incomprehensible crossovers! Great!

I do actually own the other three v2 series, and I could in fact have read them along with this, but I decided I had suffered enough.

The other thing I didn't realize is that these v2 series don't actually explain how everyone got back to 616. I thought they would! They did not! It turns out this is covered in Heroes Reborn: The Return, which is a separate miniseries taking place after v2 and is not the same thing as Heroes Return (either of them) which is obviously a different thing. Thanks, comics. I did go and skim that to get a general idea of the plot. It's not as bad as v2, possibly because Peter David was doing the writing, and the art is also less bad.

Because, yeah, the IM v2 art is horrendous. The best thing I can say about it is that it's not quite as bad as The Crossing and also that, luckily, IM v2 is not the v2 book Rob Liefeld was drawing, although everyone who was drawing these books appears to have wanted to be Rob Liefeld, in terms of style. But this doesn't mean you are free from horrors like this:

The IM v2 armor design is also bad. I say this as someone who does not normally care about armor in the sense that armor doesn't usually affect whether I like a run, as it does for some Iron Man fans. Is it nice if Tony has aesthetically-pleasing armor? Sure! Who doesn't want to look at nice things? But if a run has good writing, Tony could be wearing a cardboard box and I wouldn't care. In my favorite IM run, he literally lives in a cardboard box and later constructs a superhero outfit out of other superheroes' spare uniform bits!

However, the v2 armor sure got hit with the ugly stick:

So that's not… really helping.

The actual plot was-- I mean, yeah, no, it wasn't great, and it did start out with Tony being terrible and uncaring, and then approximately 50% of it was about the Hulk, who was not the character I'd come here to read about, and there were the aforementioned inexplicable crossovers.

What was left of the plot didn't make much sense, and I'm not sure if any of this was actually explained clearly in the other books, but as far as I can tell what was going on was that all the heroes here were dropped onto Counter-Earth here after fighting Onslaught, and given memories and backstories to suggest that they'd always been here, and a lot of their backstories weren't the same. In Tony's case, he wasn't the original Iron Man; this was Conner O'Reilly (Rebel), one of Tony's friends from college, who died being Iron Man. Tony then ends up being Iron Man but of course Rebel isn't really permanently dead and he comes back to fight Titanium Man with Tony. The series treats this information like you of course already knew it and it already happened, which, since comic books already do this while talking about things that did actually happen in previous comics, makes it even more incomprehensible. I spent like three issues wondering if I was actually supposed to know this character.

(Somehow Rebel shows up again in Fabian Nicieza's Thunderbolts run. IDK how, I haven't read it. I have, like, five T-Bolts books in my TBR pile. I do fully intend to read T-Bolts at some point. It just hasn't happened yet.)

I will say that the one interesting thing about reading IM v2 here was how much of it ended up in the MCU. I wasn't expecting that. I know people always say that about Ults, and I can definitely see where the MCU took some inspiration from Ults, but no one ever says that about v2. And I can see why they would do it, because both Ults and v2 are reimagined versions that are trying to tell a story that sort of evokes the feel of 616 without the reader actually needing to be familiar with decades of comics. Which is, you know, the thing the MCU wanted to do, so it makes sense. I just hadn't realized the MCU had borrowed any of this.

What did the MCU take from IM v2? Probably the most notable aspect is Tony being BFFs with Bruce Banner. Here in the v2 backstory, Tony, Bruce, Reed, Doom, and Hank all went to college together and became friends (or frenemies, in the case of Doom). Everyone on that list other than Bruce already had some kind of connection to Tony in 616. Mostly science friendship. Or, uh, science enmity, in the case of Doom. Bruce actually didn't have any connection to Tony, in 616. The Hulk leaves the Avengers in issue #3 and pretty much does not come back until after comics start getting MCU-ified. I think the Hulk being on Hickman's initial Avengers team and also Bendis' Avengers Assemble is when that started happening. So that's all starting in 2012, for sure.

Bruce does not play well with others in 616; the main team he's ever associated with is the Defenders, whose raison d'être is not playing well with others -- like, Namor's on the Defenders. 616 Tony and 616 Bruce were absolutely not BFFs and Hulk was never a regular Avenger; every so often, when they were building new teams, the Avengers called and asked him if he wanted to come back and he told them to fuck off. Tony's never, like, calling him up for advice. They're not friends. If you are here from MCU fandom, I really want to stress this. They're not friends. If Tony needs a science buddy, he probably calls Reed Richards. And yet, here, in v2, Bruce and Tony are lifelong BFFs! They were roommates in college! Tony cares deeply about him, to the point that half the plot of this series is actually about him trying to help the Hulk! I really wasn't expecting that.

The other thing in IM v2 that might look familiar to you, the MCU fan, is Tony/Pepper. They clearly have some UST all throughout v2 -- which, sure, is a thing they had in 616 -- but here, they actually sleep together, which they had never done in 616 at the time. (This actually happens in Heroes Reborn: The Return #4, if you've read IM v2 and are wondering how you missed it.) The only time Tony and Pepper sleep together in 616 is during World's Most Wanted, an arc that came out in 2009, which was clearly after IM1 and also clearly taking inspiration from IM1 because Tony gets a glowy light in his chest by the end of the arc after that one. So, yeah… it looks like MCU grabbed the canon Tony/Pepper too.

(Over in Cap v2, Steve is actually a robot fucker. He has also slept with robots on regular Earth-616. Come on, MCU! Why are you cowards?)

So, yeah. It's not by any means a great comic, but IM v2 is not the worst comic I have ever read, and it's actually kind of an interesting read from the perspective of seeing what they borrowed for MCU. I'm not saying you should run out and read this right now or anything, though. I personally took a bunch of plot notes while I was reading this just so I would never have to read it again.

Also, please enjoy this page from IM v2 #9 in which Tony brings Thor to Avengers Mansion to show him his hole.

Please note that Tony wishes that he had instead chosen to show his hole to Steve. This is all I am going to say about this.

[alexthesillybilly]

What if springtrap x reader but I write it from springtraps POV idk I wanna study him this is rlly similar to another thing I wrote btw if it feels familiar :P idk why but I love writing this exact scene lmao

God, how long has it been? Months? Years? Decades? How was I supposed to know? I haven't spoken to anyone since I was left in here, and I probably never will again. I'm still trying to figure out what to do to pass the time. At first my methods were a little more about escaping, but clawing at the walls and slamming my self against the door was both very painful, and was also not doing anything for me, so I stopped doing those pretty quickly. Then I remembered there were arcade machines in this room! But then I remembered that this is the parts and service room and they were out of order. And very unplayable. But that didn't stop me, I ended up disassembling and putting them back together a few times.

That got boring, too.

Now I'm not really sure what to do. I spend a lot of my time either fidgeting with loose wires or pacing around like some kind of scared animal. After I stopped having the indescribable dread of realizing I was trapped here, it changed to craving something. Anything, really. Whether it was hearing music from outside, seeing a color other than pitch black, feeling anything other than the freezing cold tile floor and my own pain.

I think I mostly craved company, though.

I was never into psychology, but speaking from experience, I'm pretty sure that completely depriving a human of any communication or entertainment for years (decades??) will fuck someone up.

There's some sort of noise around the door. It's happened a few times, usually someone who broke in trying to get into the room before discovering it's boarded up. I don't know who boarded up this room, but I'd like to have a talk with them. Only a little murder included. So I don't get my hopes up too much. They're not going to get in.

So maybe I get a little excited when for the first time, I actually DO hear the door crack open and light pour in.

Holy shit, it's happening.

I can finally get out of here.

I felt nearly manic at the sight. So imagine my thoughts when someone walked in.

I freeze. What do I do?

There is so much I want to say.

Can I even talk?

I don't know anymore.

Who is this?

I try to look at them without moving. Nobody I recognize. That's probably a good thing.

If I move, I might scare them.

On one hand, then I'd be able to leave.

But on the other hand, I need to talk to someone, ANYONE, so bad that I can't let then leave already.

So I stay still while they approach.

They must not be deterred by the sight of me, surprisingly, because they crouch down beside me like I'm not... like this.

"What the hell are you?" They laugh under their breath. Wow, okay. First words spoken to me in this long. I deserve that, though.

I need to talk so bad but how am I supposed to talk to anyone now? I don't even remember how it works, let alone if I physically could. I pray they'll ask a yes-or-no question soon.

They stand back up.

No. No, no, no, not already. They can't leave. I have to risk it.

I try my best to tell them not to go. It comes out as more of a noise you'd make on your deathbed, but it's enough to get them to stop in their tracks.

"No. Nope, I am NOT being your horror movie protagonist who dies first, nope. Not today." They turn to run out the door. This time I'm prepared. Kind of.

"No-" I manage to choke out before realizing how much it hurts to speak, and very pathetically falling against the wall in pain. I have to get the message through, though. "Don't go."

"Hooly shit." The person stares at me in horror. "I have so many questions."

Talking hurts so bad, but nothing hurts worse than my indescribable loneliness, so I'll just have to deal with that later. I have to say something.

"Me too."

[sleepystrawberrybunny]

i feel like opening up about something that happened.. kinda ranty, pretty queer.

i'm following a course at uni called 'psychology for intercultural communication' and the main focus is prejudice studies (the irony of it all). my professor - she's not queer, she's cis and hetero - asked how come gen Z in particular feels the need to use and create so many different labels for their identity, especially queer people. she didn't use a judging or mocking tone, she had genuinely curiosity, more the spirit of a scholar who wants to understand a certain thing, you know? so that felt a bit reassuring.

no one responded in the beginning (we were like 50/60 people in total in that room). then a girl opened up about being poly - she's cis hetero though - and how she partecipated on a podcast with a queer friend and they talked about asexuality, something she didn't know existed. other people started to mumble, the professor and her assistant asked what it meant. they didn't know what asexual was, let alone aromantic or other more "obscure" identities.

as queer myself - currently identifying as demiromantic bisexual - my mind had instinctively started to form an answer to give from my point of view.. but then i got incredibly anxious to talk because, not only i have anxiety and even though i push myself to intervene when i feel the need to - not doing it and regretting it later feels worse most of the time - it's still hard, but how the situation got made me feel so alone.

even though i wasn't going to come out to the entire class - i'm a very private and reserved person in general, i prefer to keep these things to myself and my inner circle.. i also experienced bullying as a kid and as a teenager so there's trauma fear that comes with that as well - exposing myself got even scarier.

in my daily real life i'm very alone in my queer identity. i don't really know many queer people, i'm surrounded by people with a conforming identity, and those few queer i know i don't have a close enough bond with. sure, i have my group of close friends that are really accepting... but i don't have an explicitly queer safe net for my queer identity to run to and talk to about my feelings and experiences as a queer person that talks with other queer people who can understand and sympathise with me. i dream of that. of an heartstopper kind of thing.

i also realised how much i actually consume and live on the internet. for me all the words and definitions and labels felt so familiar and natural because of how used i am to come in contact with them daily through the internet, but it's not the same for the majority of people even of my own generation. it was kind of alienating realising of how much i've been living inside my own bubble.

if it wasn't for the internet, it very much probably would have take me a longer time to find out that my feelings, behaviour and experiences meant, in fact, being attracted to girls the same way i am to boys, and it wasn't just "how female friendships are". i was so confused and lonely in my feelings, but then internet showed me that it's something that's real and has a name, and that people like me exist out there.

in that class maybe there is someone like me, queer and with an answer to give but too scared to do it, who knows. and maybe one of us should have courageously opened up for us to find eachother. maybe it was a missed opportunity.

i'm writing this here and not only in my journal because i think i'm hoping for more queer people to answer and share their experiences, if they feel like it of course. i'm in need of feeling less alone i guess, even if it's through the internet again, but it's the only outlet i have for it atm.

(i should probably add that i live in a town in the countryside in italy, and currently it's not very easy for me to often reach bigger cities, so it's easier to get lonely)

[actualbird]

// spoilers for marius' sweet chapter event storyline

hey so i just finished playing thru the phase 2 story and

holy moly, that was good and made me so emotional jhvJKVKSHFVJSDF. once again, i cannot emphasize enough just how much i adore grief narratives and themes, and all the parallels to cyrus brown (also lol at how they changed his name from chris brown jHVSKJFVJSD) to marius' own experience with giann

but the whole brother parallel is obvious and clearly tackled within the story. what i wanna talk abt instead is how a very specific portion of this story made me realize smthing that marius has done over and over again across so many of his stories.

and thus

mini character analysis (or maybe character observation?): marius and emotional distancing

wc: 1.1k obligatory disclaimer that these are just my own thoughts and interpretations. contains spoilers of marius' sweet chapter event, his personal story 4, and several of his cards

anyhoo, the part of the sweet chapter event that piqued my interest and made my brain.

in the last part of the story, when talking about how timmy's experience with cyrus reminded him of his own life, marius opened up on his his father and giann were busy when he was younger and that made him feel like nobody cared (before giann noticed and played a more active role guiding and encouraging marius). but when marius is telling his story, mc notes that:

the wording here nagged at me, because it felt so familiar. and i realized that mc notes something similar in marius' personal story 4, after marius opens up after nearly dying as a child because he was locked in a basement freezer, which, sidenote, im never getting over how fucked up that is!! marius are yOU OKAY???

mc was also hella concerned as i was, and notes the manner in which marius tells her about this:

theres two more examples i want to bring up.

in SSR Sweet Wonders (marius' dreams of childhood card), marius opens up about how, due to the psychological impact of him blaming himself for his mother's death, he got really sick for a while as a child. mc once again notes on how he tells this story:

and last example, SSR All Through The Night (marius' xmas partyland card). i dont have a screenshot for that because what i wanna add from there is speckled across the entire story:

mc learns about a picture book marius had drawn when he was a child, one that told the story that parelleled his own journey to learning about why his mother died.

whats my point here? that on many moments where marius recalls and explains very heavy things on his past, theres two things that stuck out to me.

first, the calm, collected demeanor. and second, the concept of him telling a story, one that belongs to someone else, one that he has detached himself from.

this peaks my interest for two reasons.

the "I'm Totally Over It" vibes

marius minimizes the concern that mc could possibly feel by masking any negative emotion he could possibly show.

this is hugely in line with how he is as whole, because he likes to present himself as carefree, light, easy-going, teasing and playful and nothing gets to him. tho by virtue of playing thru mc's perspective, we know this isnt true because marius' story themes are also chock full of the facades and personas he needs to don to survive as a public figure. marius had to learn how to be a good actor, and he succeeds, and this is again is super aligned with how he masks negative emotion with the mask of "i am unaffected by these objectively messed up experiences i had! This Doesn't Bother Me. I'm Totally Over It."

i found this interesting in contrast to luke. who also masks his negative feelings, but leans toward less of "This Doesn't Bother Me" and more of "no need to worry about that because it's Not Important." it's emotional minimization that could possibly leave room for "yeah, this maybe does bother me, but me being bothered is nothing of value."

but marius circumvents that process at the beginning by simply acting that he isnt even bothered in the first place.

now, this is something that maybe artem and vyn do too, but my knowledge of stories for them isnt as encyclopedic as my knowledge on luke ajhvfasjkhfvajsh so i wouldnt be able to accurately get a read on how they do on this sphere.

idk it's just cool to me to see the subtle variations in how the boys deflect and omit their vulnerabilities!

but back to the concept of "I'm Totally Over It", one way marius achieves this calm collectedness is through the next recurring commonality

the "story" involving the character who is separate from the storyteller

marius speaks of past experiences like hes a detached narrator telling another person's story. he even does this in an near-literal way with his picture book in SSR All Through The Night.

[EDIT TO ADD ONE MORE EXAMPLE of near-literal storytelling and distancing that was later pointed out by milkyway!anon: marius also does this in his very first character pv introduction, ever since the beginning

how he frames all this in his pv is pretty clearly in a playful storybook/bedtime story kinda way, both in the visual execution and writing. i always adored his character pv for being so different and cute and playful, but now in light of how The Rest Of What We Know and what i mentioned in the rest of this analysis, it's now way more interesting and...sad

i use this screenshot in particular detaching himself blatantly. while this part of the pv does this in regards to how the public sees him as a symbol instead of a being (and thus distancing who he is from like, his inherent Being A Person), marius also does it to himself by virtue of telling the story and walking away from it, albeit cutely, as he is a cat

heres the story. hes the narrator, and the character within the story is him but not him as well.]

in doing this, he once again seemingly relieves himself of any "bother" or negative emotions that he could experience, because all stuff that happened? it's not him. it's a character in a story, one that is not him and specifically separate from him because he is the one telling the story.

i fear im not making sense now (tho tbh when am i ever making sense jHVJSHDVFJ) but let me try and explain it through this post (which no longer exists on ops blog so i have to link my rb of it huhu) that shows a collection of quotes that hit the nail on the head, regarding this concept.

when you tell a story, as the storyteller, you are ultimately the one in control. part of being in control means that, if you know how to tell your story, you can ultimately lay all the details down while also leaving it, disconnecting from it, and distancing from it.

distance, imo, is the most fitting word to me, for how marius goes about his heavier experiences.

he distances from the emotions he felt and could possibly still be feeling, he distances from the fact that it was him who went through it, and he distances from mc's worry that could happen as a response.

of course, since mc is the best and an angel, she always takes the time to reassure marius that shes here for him and that hes not alone, that shes with him every step of the way (both him as the "character" he is Not in his stories and the person he Is in the present)

still, it's really fascinating on a characterization level that distancing and detaching is marius' go-to method. hes already somebody that has so many layers of facades and "different" selves, and here he is once more creating another self:

one that didnt go through all of what he went through.

[kalevalakryze]

A Persistent Predator

Fandoms: Ahsoka Series, Star Wars - All Media Types Pairings: Shin Hati/Sabine Wren, Shin Hati & Ahsoka Tano, Shin Hati & Ezra Bridger, Sabine Wren & Ahsoka Tano & Ezra Bridger Characters: Shin Hati, Ahsoka Tano, Sabine Wren, Ezra Bridger, Huyang, Baylan Skoll Warnings: Ahsoka Ep 7 Spoilers, Hurt/Comfort, Abandonment Issues, Notes: So... are we gonna talk about Baylan abandoning Shin, leaving their Padawan braid, Thrawn only ensuring his own men could retreat and leaving Shin to be captured etc etc etc? Also; I know Sabine was starting forward with violent intent for Shin, but... I'm gay, and soft, and I can't stop thinking about how red Shin's face got when they were about to cry , so I just need them to get lots of hugs, now. Also, again: "let me help you." NONSTOP. There is a high chance of this being continued for some proper wolfwren, i just wanted to lay out my bones first, but i am out of spoons rn. Word Count: 3,034 AO3 Link: Here!

“Let me help you,” Ahsoka Tano, the enemy, the woman of nightmares passed along in tales of horror from Master to Apprentice. 

Emotion hung thick in the air, their heart hammering in their chest as they bit back the warble of their lip, teeth sinking into her tongue hard enough that the familiar taste of iron flooded her senses. Shin had straightened then; Baylan had told her the stories of what happened to Jedi who got too close to Ahsoka Tano, and while they were not a Jedi, they would not allow themselves to meet Marrok’s end, or the end of her ‘friends’ under her orders. 

They had felt the strength she had over the force, still had bruises and abrasions on their abdomen they’d refused to let heal, poking and prodding at purpling skin in fascination; a beauty from afar, but vile up close, Ahsoka Tano was just as dangerous as Baylan had warned, both physically, and psychologically. 

She couldn’t take her offer, couldn’t part with her saber; had never parted with the weapon, not since Baylan had helped her make it all those years ago, since he’d secured them a passageway to Ilum, and gave her a proper ‘gathering’. There hadn’t been many crystals left, but her crystal shined to her, because it was alone, it had been left behind in the wake of the mining and destruction; just them. 

Running was a no-brainer; Baylan wouldn’t have wanted them to stay, she’d never been taken prisoner unless it had been in the plans to lure their enemies, and now, without him to back her up, she wasn’t sure she could do it. 

It was just a good thing the tears didn’t fall until her boots were shoving through the grass, alerting the silver Howler to her need to go before the Togruta could hunt her down, and likely give Thrawn exactly what he wanted for the Mercenaries. 

The Howler’s fur was coarse, but it became a comfort as she pressed into its neck, not caring about direction or cause; how could they? Baylan parted ways, and Thrawn had left her at the hands of the enemy to secure his troops, she was merely a distraction, a pawn for both Thrawn and Baylan to get what they wanted out of this blasted graveyard. 

When the Howler stopped, Shin did too, sliding from the beast's back to offer it relief from her sagging weight. The stream of water wasn’t the cleanest, yet the howler lapped up the water anyways.

Dropping their weight into the least-sandy portion on the nearly dried-out riverbed, they were forced with the reality of the situation, and then the ultimate vast question of their next moves without Baylan’s guidance. 

“Master,” They reached outwards, into the force, past the buried fear, the exhaustion, and the hurt, looking within herself to find him. He’d never walled her off before, but as her presence was halted, it was clear what he had done. Their paths no longer walked aligned; he was done with her. 

Pain, sorrow, and a childish spiral had them tucking their legs up onto the expanse of not-so-smooth stone, fingers flexing and unflexing around the hilt of their saber as she stared out at the rippling water. 

Meditation was calming, familiar; the only familiar thing they had right now, when everything was so alien. At some point, the Howler returned to her from his break, sitting expectantly in front of the conflicted Apprentice. When Shin did not move, he stalked around to their back, before settling up in a way that had fur catching onto the thick wool of her tunic, and she could feel the saddle against her back, a tether to the world they didn’t know they needed. 

▬▬ι═══════>

“Let her go,” Ahsoka had ordered, pushing back on Sabine’s chestplate until the Mandalorian pulled back, watching the red-faced and distraught opponent retreat. 

“Ahsoka-’ Sabine started, raising her hands up, gesturing to the blonde Apprentice’s shrinking form as the Howler moved away. “Ezra, are your friends alright?” The woman questioned instead, turning her head to face the Noti slowly emerging from their homes. The conversations were muted to Ahsoka, however, who’s gaze was on the empty horizon, the panicked thud of Shin’s heart and the padding of her Howler’s paws against the earth keeping her aware of trajectory.

The Noti wound up setting their next camp up where they had halted, under the protection of Jedi, a starfighter, and an ancient archivist droid. 

As the sun set, Ahsoka rose from her seat, nestled comfortably in the small community of bustling Noti as they fixed their crawlers and restocked their rocks. “Sabine,” She called the attention of the Mandalorian away from where she was helping a small family set up their dinner.

“Let's take a walk… Ezra, would you like to come?” A smile turned on the Togruta’s face at the young Jedi, scuffing his boot in the dirt and pretending not to listen, despite Ahsoka’s call across the camp. 

“Well, I suppose if it’s not intruding,” As Sabine approached, he threw his arm around her shoulder. “So, Fulcrum, where we headed?”

Shaking her head, Ahsoka began leading the two Rebels from the camp, Sabine’s Howler picking up his head and quickly trotting along to keep up with her. “I’m not giving up on her.”

Sabine’s sourness was almost tangible in the air at her words, Ahsoka’s head turned to catch the twisting of the Mandalorian’s lips into a scowl. “I’m not giving up on any of you,” Walking in quiet, Ahsoka’s hand moved to rest on Sabine’s shoulder, fingertips brushing Ezra’s arm as well. “I’ve made many mistakes in the past, I am not omnipotent; but I can’t pretend that running from my mistakes, from you-” Her hand squeezed at Sabine’s shoulder, trying to express what she couldn’t truly word enough of. “I can’t pretend like those were the right choices for anybody, no matter the delusions I gave myself to believe otherwise. I am sorry that I’ve failed you, both of you; and I will make it up to you; and make it up to them as well,” 

As they crested a hill, it was clear why they hadn’t used a crawler to get around. The riverbeds were running a particularly dry season, with thin streams cutting through sediment filled dirt. The silver fur of the Howler was as unmistakable as the platinum hair pressing into the beast’s side. 

Shin had always carried themselves with a commanding presence and the promise that you were only alive because they allowed it; the young woman curled up in the Howler’s side, legs drawn to their chest, chin nestled between her knees, and hands clamped over her ears, well, it was hard to process the woman as the same one who’d guarded her on the Eye of Scion. 

Sabine started once more, boots scraping loudly against the dirt as she moved to take off for the blonde, anger simmering under the surface. Once again, Ahsoka had to reach out and place a firm hand against her armor to stop her. “Impatience for victory will only guarantee defeat, Sabine, we wait until she’s ready.”

The trio moved slowly towards them, only halting at the bristling of fur on the Howler’s neck as his eyes blinked open. “I know you’re there,” Their voice was thick with an accent Sabine could not place, entirely different from the controlled cadence they’d delivered on the few occasions she’d spoken. 

“I would be disappointed if you didn’t.” Ahsoka countered, like before, her voice was anything but unkind. “A person with your skills, you have done very well for yourself,” The woman bristled under Ahsoka’s borderline praise, walking a fine line that could lead to the blonde bolting. 

Their attention turned inwards, lips pursing as they focused on anything but the three not-so-hostile enemies at their back. 

Gesturing to a patch of dry land, the trio set up shop, with Ezra and Sabine dispersing quietly to gather timber and other things they could use for the coming cold. By the time the moon was officially hung high in the sky, a deep chill frosted over the land; Ezra seemed quite accustomed to the cold by now, though Sabine firmly burrowed herself between the hot-blooded Togruta and Ezra, tugging her cloak around her arms properly to keep some warmth in. 

Just at the edge of the fire’s light, Ahsoka could see the red catching Shin’s nose and the blue of her lips, jaw tight to prevent their teeth from clattering, unable to properly meditate as she stayed alert for an attack that would not come. 

Adjusting the thick white cloth around her shoulders, Ahsoka worked the bag from her shoulders. “Are you two hungry?”

“Makers, yes!” Both Mandalorian and Lothalian expressed themselves in tandem, though Ezra was rightfully more excited as Ahsoka retrieved some of the better New Republic rations from the pack. 

Red-rimmed silver-blue eyes caught onto the side of Ahsoka’s head from where she sat, montrals twitching at the sound of Shin’s stomach rumbling. At least her plan was working, Shin showed them interest that wasn’t based around fighting, and now that she knew there was food, necessity would drive her to them… If they were lucky. 

As the hours dragged on and Shin’s shivering became more pronounced, Ezra and Sabine laid back from the fire to look at the stars. The young Jedi offering stories of his adventures with the Noti and the exploits against Thrawn and his troopers. 

It wasn’t until the rebels were asleep that Shin’s iron will crumbled. Ahsoka’s attention pulled from the fire at the crunch of footsteps and the quiet grumbling of the Howler being woken from it’s sleep. The woman didn’t say anything, keeping her gaze down at their slow approach, moving like a wounded animal right into the trap. 

The light on their face was enough for Ahsoka to see the mess they’d worked themselves into; smudged and running eye makeup, chapped lips, rosy cheeks with dried tear tracks, cutting away the dirt on her face, and heavy bags under her eyes. 

The silence stretched as Ahsoka reached back into her bag to retrieve another ration pack. “I’d like you to put your lightsaber between us, please,” The request was quiet, gentle, and Ahsoka still offered the peace of not looking at them yet. She set the packaged ration on the ground between them as her own offering, remaining impassive even as quick hands snatched the food away. 

Their hand shook visibly as the lightsaber was pulled from their belt and placed against the dirt, fingers lingering before another incessant growl from her stomach had her digging into the field ration in a way they hadn’t since first meeting Baylan Skoll. 

As an offering of peace, Ahsoka’s own sabers joined the pile as the blonde ate, fire crackling under the last of the timber; they’d held out longer than she thought they would, and while her resistance was commendable, the Togruta knew the flames would not be enough to keep them warm enough for the night. 

Rising to her feet, tired, wary eyes snapped to her attention, watching as Ahsoka stretched her shoulders, arms above her head before slipping the heavy poncho from her shoulders. When the woman passed behind them, their entire body went rigid, fingers stilling over the crumb of the ration wafer left in the package. 

They recoiled at the weight of Ahsoka’s poncho settling over her shoulders, but the warmth concealed in the fabric was enough to have her sinking, quicker than Baylan would have liked to see, into the fabric that allowed them to feel their icey skin start to thaw. 

“Come with us, Shin.” Ahsoka broke finally as the flames burned away, closing the circle of warmth and bringing the blonde closer to the fire. “We want to help you,” 

“I don’t need help,” Their voice was rough, thick with a million emotions they were trying to keep buried, though their accent was hidden under the layers of cover once more, like they were trying to do to themselves. 

“I’ve been here, you know…” Their eyes wandered to her again in wonder, sinking further into the given poncho for the fading warmth. “Not Peridea, but where you are; Of course, I walked away from my Master,”

“He did not walk away from me,” There was a desperation in their tone, trying so hard to make their words believable, more so to herself than to Ahsoka. “It was time,” Their fingers curled around the tightly wound braid in her hair, pulling at it in a worrying way- Ahsoka didn’t have hair, but knew human hair tended to be fragile, and painful to yank on. 

Leaning across the distance between them, Ahsoka’s hand moved to curl around Shin’s. “You’re in over your head, and you’re alone; it doesn’t have to be that way.” 

“He did not tell me-” Their eyes locked onto their hand, so much smaller in Ahsoka’s, even with the thickness of leather gloves and the frozen metal plate attached to it. “If he would have told me,”

“His plans didn’t involve you,” The muscle in their jaw ticked at the bluntness in her tone, eyes tracking the way her hand released her own and rose to the braid. “If what he said was truthful, why would he leave you with this?”

Shin’s face was steadily growing warm once more, embarrassment and shame showing in the twitch of their muscles under Ahsoka’s scrutinizing gaze. 

“I’m not telling you this to be unkind, this is a war; and your Master failed to teach you how to survive in it,” Their lips parted to counter it, to find some way to defend the man that raised her, though when Ahsoka’s hand rose to silence her, she obeyed immediately. “Thank you. Your Master did not prepare you for an environment where you would be alone, on another planet, in another Galaxy; He did not tell you of his plans for this world, and perhaps he figured he was saving you,”

Shin’s lips twisted into a grimace as Ahsoka finally released the braid, their eyes welling up again despite desperate attempts to keep it all inside. “I don’t want to force you into coming with us, but you do not deserve to be left behind because someone did not see how important your role in the Force truly is.”

“What will happen if I follow you?” 

“Then I will finish your training, properly.” Ahsoka’s eyes moved back to the sleeping pile of humans across the fire, sprawled out across each other with Sabine’s elbow digging into the side of Ezra’s face. 

“I have attacked the New Republic, killed commanders, and ruined their fleets,” Fulcrum’s facial markings pulled at the reminder. “I’m aware; They won’t be particularly happy, but that’s something we can figure out together.”

“The Mandalorian is your apprentice, a Jedi cannot train two,” They were fishing for reasons to justify not coming with them, for reasons to die in the wasteland, far from home and everything they knew. 

Ahsoka stood once more and offered her hand, much like she had just hours before. “We aren’t Jedi, we’re survivors,” 

Staring at Ahsoka’s hand, Shin seemed to bounce between the options available. They did not want to die, they didn’t want to be alone, and… well, they did yearn for the disgusting companionship between each of them. Most of all, they wanted their Master back, but if she wasn’t good enough to aid him in his quest, then maybe she was just barely good enough to be not-a-jedi with the enemy. 

Hand resting in Ahsoka’s, the Togruta helped pull the young woman to her feet, steadying them by the shoulders when their body careened dangerously to the side. “Can I hug you?” 

Blinking, Shin’s look of surprise must have shown clearer than the moon in the sky, the older woman’s face splitting with a smile and a shake of her head. “Come here,” Strong arms pulled her against the woman’s chest, igniting that same old spark of fear deep in their chest. 

Fear was melted away quickly by the smell of cinnamon and morning grass, soothing away the cold that had frozen their bones and tore at her soul; when the force reached out to her from so close, it felt bright, painfully so, that letting her shields lower had been a process only achievable when her hands fisted into the fabric of the woman’s tunic, shields lowering for the orbital bombardment that was Ahsoka Tano’s force signature. 

It was overwhelming, the kind that made their skin tingle and the noises reverberate through their skull, the kind that would have her actively seek Baylan out to ease the plague of pain. “I’ve got you,” The woman promised as Shin held on tighter; as tight as they’d wished they’d held on to Baylan, if they would have known then it was her last time. 

Waking up to find Ahsoka all but holding Shin wasn’t the weirdest way Sabine had ever woken up, but it still topped one of the highest lists she’d ever had. Sabine struggled to untangle Ezra from her with a series of half-shoves until he was grumbling and rolling in the dirt. 

“You really did it?” She whispered as she rose, approaching the two as Ahsoka shifted their dead weight further into her arms, glad the sleep suggestion had finally made it through their exhausted system. 

“Was there ever any doubt?” The blonde wrapped up in Ahsoka’s poncho burrowed further into the woman’s shoulder, in a way that was almost endearing: if that face hadn’t nearly ended her life on several occasions.

“For you? No, for them? Many,” 

“I find your lack of faith disturbing. Now wake Ezra and let’s go, it would be a horrible day to lose two Apprentice’s and a Jedi to hypothermia,”  “Yes, Master,” Sabine teased with a smile, turning to shake Ezra as the two Howlers rose from their own rest, following the not-jedi back to the Noti camp and the T-6, offering Huyang only a minor circuit overload at the sight of Ahsoka carrying the Apprentice they’d been hunting.

[kafkaoftherubble]

再谈JJK 236五条悟的心理刻画// I want to talk about Gojo's psychology in chapter 236 again 

I'm quite happy to say that my thoughts on CH236 have evolved—even if I still greatly dislike many of its executions, pacing, logic, and other storytelling issues. Previously, one of the things that really pissed me off is the character derailment Gojo Satoru suffered in CH236.

I'd mentioned before that the idea of the afterlife dream sequence is massively appealing to me. It's just that there are so many little things in it that sounded wrong enough that in the end, I wondered if I was looking at Mahito's Idle Transfiguration at work. As one person familiar with the JP side of Twitter reportedly saw (take it with a reasonable grain of salt for there is no link to the tweet, but no big deal):  "Gojo sensei didn't just die, it feels like his soul was killed as well."

However, unlike many detractors, my gripes were not centered on "Gojo dickriding Sukuna jobber mindset." I actually think the self-deprecation was perfectly valid for the human Satoru (my previous rant had more details on this). I thought it was humanizing to see him freely admitting his vulnerabilities. 

I was more offended at his downplaying his achievements as though he never had a chance. I thought someone who was as enlightened as he is in judging a person's strengths and weaknesses should be better at assessing his own feats instead of sounding like my pathetic ass whenever I talk about myself. I know I have a rather abysmal self-esteem issue, but nothing in the story indicated Satoru as possessing that trait. That loss of measured self-assessment was one of the things that made me reel. But after reading some comments on this Reddit post, I've come to realize I forgot a very important piece of context:

This is Satoru after he lost.  

Being the strongest was, by all the web of causes around him (his birth, the way people regard him, the things people keep pointing out about him, the system's assessment of him, etc.), a huge part of Satoru's sense of self. It did not necessarily matter if he himself truly believed "being the strongest" was all there was to him. See, even in the real world, there is no "true self" (yes, "there is no self" is one of my most steadfast scientific +/philosophical stances). There is, however, a social self; a person's sense of self is porous and dependent on the environment and society (which can break up into communities) they exist in, and it reflects back to the person who comes to accept it as their own personal narrative. Being the strongest was part of Satoru's fable; the world around him even decided that it was his raison d'être.  

So when he lost, it dealt a really hard blow to his understanding of who he believed he was. It didn't matter if he was enlightened in his judgment of people. One of the statements everyone, including himself, had taken as a fact had just been completely disproven. Why wouldn't he then express doubt on the rest of the "I am the strongest" narrative? Why wouldn't he start to become skeptical of his strengths and feats, to the point of seeing the opponent who bested him as more powerful than Sukuna really was?  

It's just another glimpse into his humanity. Who among us feels not a shred of self-doubt when we fail at what we believed we were good at?  

In this light, it became easier for me to reappraise his expression of doubt.

--------

There was a part when he made it sound as though he was trying to reach out to Sukuna and shit "all along", seemingly at the expense of his students, colleagues and adopted son. Make no mistake, the omission of his students and the goals Satoru made as himself (instead of as "the strongest") in this afterlife dream thingy is still bad.

Reaching out to Sukuna, though? I don't think it's necessarily OOC.  

See, Satoru shared many traits and inspirations from Shakyamuni, the historical Buddha. In line with those references, it's my interpretation that Satoru does not actually exhibit egoism—I know, it runs counter to the dominant understanding of Gojo's psychology in the JJK community—but self-less-ness. 

Not selflessness as in "altruism", but anattā--one of the Buddha's realizations upon his awakening (and again, a concept I strongly support. My best friend can tell you how much I talk about this. Hell, my blog description says as much). The way I see it, Satoru's confidence in himself is no different from his confidence in other people—it's all rooted in what he perceives this given "person" is capable of. To him, "Satoru" is simply another person who happens to be really good at a lot of things and so deserves to be praised and uplifted as anyone else who's good at what they do; the fact that this person happens to be himself is irrelevant*.  

*Note: I once had a YouTube comment discussion with someone, who was surprisingly knowledgeable on Buddhist philosophy, regarding the blurry line between selfishness and selflessness in Gojo. It was great; we discussed anattā and śūnyatā and ended at the Mādhyamaka (Mahayana) school. There, I expounded on why I interpret Satoru as "self-less" instead of "enlightened selfishness" in greater detail. I intend to transcribe it and preserve it here someday. Not now, though!  

When I put that understanding into CH236's context, it no longer shocks me to see Gojo wanting to reach out to Sukuna. For a self-less being, there are no distinctions between them ("them-self") and other beings ("other selves"). They are all psychocausal processes in the form of persons. Sukuna is, therefore, "another person" in Satoru's eyes.

Sukuna is a person who's the strongest in his time and was worshipped and feared—not seen as human but as a calamity embodied in a living creature. Note that Satoru's empathy for Sukuna didn't make him condone Sukuna's way of living as "the strongest" (i.e. hedonistic egoist) even in his bare-my-soul afterlife sequence; he merely expressed an understanding of Sukuna's psychology. That understanding led to Satoru expressing compassion to a person who was burdened by being too strong at the top—it was even doubly easy for him to empathize because of Satoru's own lived experience. You can see why Satoru then tried to alleviate Sukuna's suffering in a way he believed could work: giving his all, through humor, etc. These are likely what Satoru wanted someone else to do for him.  

You can trace this same attitude in the way he mentored his students. He didn't hold back much (ask Yuta and Hakari again how it feels to be punched by their sensei). He regaled his students (and sometimes colleagues) with excessive humor. He was unabashedly "giving his all"—his childishness and "annoying narcissistic ass" and insanity—to those he especially believed to be liable for being lonely, whether it's because of strength or perceived danger (Yuta, Yuji), circumstances (Yuji, Megumi), life experience (Maki, Nobara), mindset (Nanami, Hakari), etc. It could be gleaned even as far back as his interaction with Riko Amanai when he started to see her less as a job and more as "a person", and so recognized the sort of isolation and alienation Riko was starting to feel as a Star Plasma Vessel. He did the same thing with her—trying to alleviate her suffering through what he believed was best. And yes, he gave his all even back then (no sleep for 3 days, guys.)

---------

Gah the translator for this chapter is fucking amazing! I'm jealous! Also, "I love everyone" is poignant, I think, as it paralleled what was in his head during his awakening ("I don't hate anyone.") 

The choice Gege made in depicting the "flower" as lotuses has become subject to various theories. After all, it symbolizes rebirth in some cultures and interpretations. I think it's a valid point for his comeback theories (though I dare not allow myself to hope), but those aside, I actually simply thought of it as yet another allusion to Satoru's connection to Sakyamuni.

Pink lotuses symbolize Buddhahood—a bloomed one is a Buddha; a bud is a Buddha in the making. In Mahayana Buddhism, everyone supposedly has a Buddha nature and is therefore capable of liberation the way Sakyamuni did. They simply need the knowledge (dhamma)... and The Noble's Eightfold Paths/The Noble Eightfold Path taught by a teacher, of course. Gotta subscribe to the course, aye? 

This translation actually made me realize that yes, Satoru did mention his students... in a very annoyingly subtle way. 

I don't think these lotuses refer to himself. I think they refer to his students. 

Hear me out. His goal has always been to raise a generation that could all be strong, so that no one has to be lonely again... including Gojo Satoru (a.k.a. himself), because this would be a world that no longer needs him. To match it with the Buddhist allegory: Satoru, "the Buddha", is trying to raise all of these lotus flowers ("buddhas-in-making") to bloom.  

He can make his students bloom (his goal of raising them). He can admire his students (he's proud of them). But he cannot tell his students to "understand him."

Ultimately, he seems to think his students—or anyone, really—don't actually understand how lonely it is to be up here. He doesn't resent it ("I don't feel lonely now"), but it's still an experience that predisposed him to find some resonance in Sukuna. I find it plausible that perhaps, in Satoru's mind, Sukuna is no different from his students in some regards. It certainly fits the trait of a Buddha/Boddhisattva—to be capable of compassion even to creatures and beings most of us wouldn't be.  

(Or maybe this feeling comes even more easily considering the fact that Sukuna is wearing Megumi's face.) 

---------------------------

Now, I know this is already a long read, but my evolved thoughts are not done yet! This is concerning what I previously saw as the biggest character assassination: Nanami and Haibara's comment on Satoru's character. They basically painted him as a dude who really just did it for his pleasure and no loftier goals. The fact that Satoru didn't even deny it was just crap.

But someone pointed out that the face he made was a frown—Satoru was actually upset that this was what Nanami believed.

Now, I've always been crap at discerning emotions, which extend to expressions. I've interpreted his expression as Satoru feeling embarrassed for being called out or accused. But honestly, it also makes sense to think that this is Satoru frowning at the fact that he's still being misunderstood even after death. He likely didn't bother to correct Nanami because he rather asked Nanami how he felt when he died.  

And that, I think, actually dives into heavy meta.  

A sizeable number of those who decry Satoru as OOC in his death were upset that the man didn't show his signature self-assuredness, arrogance, and "winner mindset" (this is the gripe I personally disliked the most because it's close to turning Satoru into this Alpha Male egoist role model), and is all-around "acting like a jobber." It's as if they like Satoru because he's the strongest—not because he's Gojo Satoru.  

Some, meanwhile, were seething to see him praising Sukuna and trying to reach out to him, calling it OOC glazing, meatriding, etc.  

Even those who like him for his character and traits, such as myself, ended up upset at what we believed Satoru was not showing.  

Satoru is showing a side of his humanity and it was confusing to a lot of us in big and small ways, for different reasons. A good chunk of it is still, I maintain, the problem with Gege's execution. 

But in a meta-sense... 

It kinda shows that we don't understand him completely either.  

We're kinda being Nanami here. We think we get Gojo Satoru, but then sometimes, we don't... at least not until we try to understand him on his own terms. 

What's Gojo famous for?

For being the strongest, most handsome motherfucker who's cool and cocky as fuck with cool-ass OP powers and all that meme-worthy stuff.

He's famous for being Gege's "most hated character," for the jokes about him having zero personality, etc.

Famous for being MAPPA's golden child with glossy ass lips and eyes that burden their animating budget.

He's sexy and hot; fuck did you see what he did to Jogo in Shibuya? He's feral and insane; fuck did you see what he did to Hanami? Or that time he turned Toji into a donut? He's bombastic and larger than life.

He sometimes feels unreal, like an alien. Some people hate him, and some people adore him to bits.  

But it takes some digging and analysis for us to realize that Gege lied about him having no personality. Because Satoru is one of the most fleshed-out characters he's ever created. He had more human sides to him that surprised even us—we didn't know he was capable of self-deprecation. We didn't know he was so compassionate he tried to reach out to the villain as if he was Naruto fucking Uzumaki. We suspected other things, like his loneliness at the top, but most of us believed Satoru was more gleeful and smug about being at the top than being angsty about it.  

Maybe this was what Gege was trying to do. Or...maybe he didn't intentionally try to do this, and simply fumbled and messed up his way to genius meta-hood (honestly who knows by this point).

Either way, CH236 could be read as an experiment on how right Satoru was about him never being understood. There are just that many larger-than-life projections/assumptions imposed on him—with "he's the strongest" as the most dominant narrative. He was a "living creature" experiencing alienation and dehumanization, even when surrounded and loved by his admirers and supporters, despite sharing everyone's common thread of the human condition.

All he could do when we argued about how weird he was because he didn't fit what we believed... was to frown and move on.

---------

Extra thought:

I know it's a conspiracy theory by this point that Gege did Satoru dirty because Gojo is his least favorite character, but I really think Gege is joking. If CH236 sucks in its execution of Gojo's afterlife sequence, it's because Gege hasn't been doing emotional beats and characterization well for a long time by now. Not because he hates Gojo.

Think about it—Gege hasn't cared to pause the battle for some deep-cut emotional shit since the Culling Game arc, and yet CH236 is where the battle takes the backstage (so backstage it's a fucking OFFSCREEN DEATH. COME ON, GREG!). Every panel in that chapter was drawn with details and care, and he took a step back from the fighting just to give Gojo even more characterization and flesh.  

Guys, I really think Gege loves Gojo.

Him bashing Gojo is him teasing Gojo the way Gojo teases other people like Utahime and Nanami and Megumi. He doesn't really know how to show his love for Gojo in the manga because his executions do miss, but I think he crafted Gojo lovingly. He fucking loves him. I think I'm actually willing to bet on this.

----

The evolution of my CH236-centric ramble goes from here, to here, to this. I also wanna shout out to the answer in that Reddit post that helped me understand the emotional beat of CH236 better (which allowed me to realize something else). I don't have a Reddit account though. I ghost-read!

Thank you for reading my ramble.

[kyubey-the-incubator]

(question for elsie because I gen do not know what it is)

-mod kopi

Haiiii okay okay okay so

An explanation of…all of this. Logistics included.

Maho Shoujos!

The name “magical girl” or “Maho Shoujo” comes from a trope in anime. They’re typically girls (often but not always teenaged) who transform into (often but not always really pretty and feminine) powered-up forms (often but not always with a classic “magical girl transformation sequence”) to fight for…like, Justice and love and stuff!

Typical example: PRETTY CURE!! AAAAAA MY CHILDHOOD!!

but like I said, they’re not always girls!

Cure wing my beloved I have never watched your show nor do I know your personality but if anything happened to you I would cry

anyways even the guys tend to be effeminate but ehhhhhh I ignore that for this.

The magical girls are usually fighting sadness itself, which (despite the fact that the shows’ tones tend to be very lighthearted and all-ages-friendly) can be handled with surprising maturity. Pretty cure is known for this. Note that animation in Japan is not as associated with children’s media as in the west, so stuff like Sailor moon (which…what age is sailor moon even for?? Like…guys???) can exist lol.

Madoka magica

ANYWAYS, every canon has its own rules, and Taocc runs on the Madoka system of magical girls!

Create a contract with this little guy, make your wish, and BAM! MAGICAL GIRL!

What could go wrong? WELL I’LL TELL YOU.

You see, madoka is a subversion and a deconstruction of the genre!

(TW going forward for very dark themes concerning despair, depression, and suicide. As well as spoilers for the main series of madoka Magica and magireco, but not rebellion)

The “sadness beings” here are called witches, and they are HORRIFYING. And consistently brainwash and kill people en masse (one witch organizes the mass suicide of like 20 people it’s insane), or trap them in psychological nightmare fuel dimensions called “labyrinths”. It’s WACK /pos.

Magical girls fight witches to sustain their soul gems. The witches drop grief seeds, which “purify” the gem. It acts kind of like a power meter, magic well, and reflection of the girl’s sanity. What happens when the soul gem breaks? The girl dies. If it fully taints…well, where do you think the witches come from?

TL;DR, I’d you take the contract, you’re doomed to become an eldritch monster. The wish is fulfilled almost exactly as you wanted, but that often has consequences you didn’t expected. No monkey’s-paw shenanigans, just your own shortsightedness.

This seems like a good time to explain exactly what the madoka-Taocc lore/functionality is, because I play VERY fast and loose with it. Get ready for logistical MADNESS.

The Kyubey part functions as normal. Madoka’s epic sacrifice to “destroy all witches forever” DOES NOT FUNCTION IN TAOCC. I REPEAT, IF YOUR CHARACTER WITCHES OUT, THEY STAY A WITCH UNLESS THEIR SEED IS RECHARGED.

Rebellion is not canon/has not happened yet. If any of you have seen rebellion, you know the elephant in the room that would mess up everything.

The Doppel system from Magireco does function, but is powered down. You can summon a version of your witch form and use that to clear your soul gem, buuuut it’s not going to function as a replacement for grief seeds, and often goes very out of control. See: Kitsune during sun’s wedding.

A character can use a witch’s grief seed as a weapon. This is not canon at all to the madoka universe, and is Taocc exclusive. Possessing a grief seed allows you to use the witch’s weapon and some of their powers. Recharging the seed with grief enough allows the chance to summon the magical girl, but nobody else can see them or really interact with them.

The “familiars turning into witches” thing does not function here. No way am I getting into that.

Magireco is only somewhat canon, as an isolated timeline, and ONLY ARC 1 IS CANON AT ALL. The Doppel system works, but Infinite Iroha, like Madokami, basically does not exist for the sake of simplicity.

Yes, the world of madomagi is connected to the circus, but not in the same way as, say, the kingdom. To them, the circus is inside a computer. No, you cannot go there.

TBH, quick retcon: Kitsune’s old team’s names and personalities are not what they were up until now, they’re unnamed. She was the one who crashed sun’s wedding. Canon characters, for the sake of our sanity, do not functionally exist and will not be doing anything. Only the system exists in the circus.

Trust me, almost none of the mechanical/canon messes really exist to do anything but make things easier on me. The supplementary material makes things a logistical MESS, so almost none of it is canon except the doppels from magireco. I all but boiled the system down to its basic components for everyone’s sakes.

I am. This close. To decanonizing Madoka’s crossover and trying to just make an expy instead. For my own sanity.

[abbatoirablaze]

Locked Up, Chapter 14

Word Count:  1.7k

Warnings:  mentions of a riot. 

“Hey doc…”

You frowned, seeing the tired expression of the man sitting on the stool by the metal detector.

“Wh-where’s Bernie?” you asked gently, curious about the disappearance of your favorite guard who sat at the entrance of the jail.

The man frowned, “hospital…critical condition after the riots.”

Your heart ached for the older gentleman who had normally sat down at the entrance to the prison.  He’d been retired from the force for nearly fifteen years and had taken what he thought was a cake-walk of a job by sitting at the metal detector for a prison.

All too often you’d had conversations about how he was excited to get home to his wife, or have a day out with his grandchildren on his next day off. 

“Oh…”

“They put him in a medical coma last week…too much swelling in the brain.  Surgery relieved some pressure…” he offered sadly.  But then he shook his head, “but they don’t think he’s going to come out of it.  Daughter’s been talking about pulling the plug on the poor guy.”

You gasped, saddened by the news that a man that had dedicated nearly his whole life to law enforcement was going to have that type of ending, “oh my…”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “Agnes isn’t holding up too well…not with his daughter making that suggestion…”

“That’s horrible.”

“It is…but it’s also a hazard of the job.  Just because he was out here, didn’t mean he wasn’t going to be in the line of fire if something like this ever happened,” He shrugged, clearly not too hung up on the idea of a riot in the prison or it’s unfortunate casualties, “you gonna go through, doc?”

“Oh-yeah…sorry…”

He nodded and you passed through the detector.  Taking your name badge and purse from the tray that you’d originally put it into, you slid the bag over your shoulder and your badge on your jacket, “I-I guess I’ll see you later…ha-have a good day!”

“Yeah,” he muttered more to himself than anyone else, “have a good day doc!”

“Thank you…”

You walked in relative silence, your mind way too focused on what had happened nearly two weeks ago to focus on anything else. 

How things had managed to turn sideways so quickly was not only jarring to you, but it made you consider your own position.

You had been a new-hire, and the events were traumatic enough that while you were an experienced psychologist, you hadn’t been well versed in the tragedy of a riot, so you had to undergo extensive psychological testing and then a few bouts of defensive training in a prison while they transferred in another set of shrinks to talk the inmates through everything. 

But then your mind wandered to Bucky and Curtis. 

They had done so much for you during the course of the riot.  They had protected you.  Made you feel safe…but they’d also set their boundaries, letting you know just where you fit into their lives. 

And you hadn’t rejected it.

“Doc!”

You were surprised to see the familiar face, “Viv?  Wh-what are you doing here?  I thought-“

“Came in to pick up my last paycheck,” she admitted, cutting you off, “Y-you’re coming back?”

You nodded, “Yeah…I am.”

“Good for you…” she said after a second, “you know…you’re one of the few women coming back.”

Your brow quirked, “What?”

“Well, after the riot ended, a few women decided they were better off going to a minimum-security prison, or transferred to county…I-well…I’m pursuing other options…and I’m sure that you know of Lila by now…”

“It-it’s my first day back.”

“Guess Hansen wasn’t blowing smoke up our asses when he’d scream that he was important,” she smirked, “government wiped his and Jensen’s records and pulled them both out at the end of the riot.  The three of them disappeared together.  No one knows where they are.  My guess is the psycho has his little play things holed up somewhere while he’s off planning the next global disaster.”

“H-How do you know that the government pulled Hansen and Jensen?” you asked softly, “I-I mean, you know Jake.  He’s smart enough to wipe the records.  Inmate Hansen could have formulated an escape with-“

“I saw the letters to the new warden.”

You frowned, remembering how Inmate Drysdale had killed the previous warden. 

Ransom Drysdale.

“How is Ransom?”

She caught on to your tone and she chose to ignore it, but sent you an icy look regardless.

“I hear that he was vindicated,” Viv shrugged, obviously not wanting to admit that she had a relationship with the inmate while still inside the walls of the prison, “he’s been proven innocent once and for all…he’s not a murderer…”

“You mean, he didn’t kill his grandfather…”

“That’s what I said,” she said with a shrug as she looked at you, “unless…you know something?”

You shook your head, looking her directly in the eye, “I don’t know anything.”

“Hmmm..” she nodded thoughtfully.  The two of you stood in silence for a few minutes before she gave up, “well…it-it was good seeing you…”

“Yeah…” You nodded softly, “you too, Viv…”

“Now as some of you know, there has been a turnover with the warden!” A few of the people coughed, showing how uncomfortable they felt with the governor discussing the warden’s demise, “a few weeks ago, during the riots, Warden Bodecker was murdered.  Since all of the cameras were off, and there was no power inside of the facility, we do not know how this managed to happen or even why, but we can only assume that it was because of a vendetta that an inmate had against him.”

A few more awkward coughs.

Everyone knew that Warden Bodecker was a mean, controlling son of a bitch.  Just like all of them had known that he was fucking Viv on the sly. 

So, they all knew, at least in part, that one of the inmates had murdered him in cold blood, and it was because of Viv and they had the slightest inkling that it had to have been one of two men, one of which was already outside of the prison walls, and his family had been the one to help secure the position for the new warden in question. 

“While our staff has been most amazing at running the prison in lieu of an actual warden, I am happy to tell you all right now that we no longer require those services as we have found our new warden!” the governor smiled, clapping at his own introduction, “he’s one owner of one of the largest tech conglomerates in the world.  Billionaire philanthropist, Tony Stark!”

There were a few scattered claps throughout the breakroom, as a man in a pristine pin-stripe suit stood up and took off his sunglasses. 

You watched him for a second, and it was like he was personally surveying each and every person.

And then his eyes landed on you. 

You felt like your blood was turning to ice in your veins. 

“First off let me just say that I am sorry for your loss!” he said firmly, leaving a few seconds to pause for good measure.  He crossed his arms over his chest and began shaking his head, “you know, when I first saw this prison on the news, I knew that there was something going on…but I didn’t-I didn’t think the problems were as deep as they really were.  I say this with all respect to your previous boss, but the riot and the blood spilled was because of him.  There have been inmates in here that were wrongfully accused and mistreated, men turned to savages because of outdated policies, and atrocities committed under the watchful eye of Lee Bodecker!”

There were a few mumbles amongst the group as officers and administrators wondered just how much the tech mogul knew.

“Our prison system has not only been failing the inmates…but the people working in them,” he said with a shake of his head, “all of you were stretched so thin, that when push came to shove, and a riot happened, you lost valuable members of your team because of understaffing, limited training, and no real hazard pay or benefits to make up for just how much of a dangerous place it is to work in.  But I wat to change that.  I want to re-incentivize every single one of you and turn this place around for the better…so that all of us can remain safe and well paid for it.  I know that this place may be a prison, but we’re here to rehabilitate these criminals.  And I think we can only do that when each one of you are supported.”

The governor smiled behind him. 

You felt your stomach turning.

“I know that some of you may be skeptical about me…but know that I am here to help,” Tony pointed out, “That doesn’t just start with my words.  I want you to know that all of the testing and training that each of you have been undergoing is because I care about your emotional, mental, and physical well-being.  That wasn’t just training to have under your belt because of the tragedy that happened.  That was one of the new policies I put in place to make sure all of you are taken care of in every way possible.”

Someone raised their hand and Tony shook his head, “no…no…you don’t need to raise your hand.  You.  With the question.  What is it that you need?”

“I’ve been a CO for nearly five years here…what makes you think you can change any of this?”

“I can see the hesitation in you, officer.  I understand what you’re thinking and the skepticism.  People don’t just do things for no reason,” he chuckled, shaking his head, “good question though.  I think that the inmates had a bad reaction to something going on here.  I think that changes need to happen in order to change the attitude of those involved.”

“But how?”

“Well, first…I’m installing cameras that work without power here.  They have their own individual power sources, and the information gets stored on the cloud.  I’m also adding in different types of activities and jobs for the workers, with higher paying premiums.  But only those who score high enough and are well-behaved will have the opportunities.  And lastly, I’m taking care of each of you.  The training.  The trauma counselors…all on my dime.  I want to take care of each of you.”

“What’s in it for you?” another person asked softly as they put their hand down, “Wh-why are you doing this for us?

“Because I can.” He said firmly, giving him an iron-clad stoney look, “and because I’m Tony Stark.  And I care!”

Chapter 15

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @prokey16, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @teambarnes72, @cjand10

[metawatts]

Saw your review for the jl/rwby crossover. You mentioned Cruz as being one of the failures of the movie. Kind of leaves me conflicted because honestly she was kind of my favorite part of the movie while everything else was just mostly meh or frustrating. I am not that familiar with comic Cruz and the Incarnation I am more familiar with from DC superhero girls is very different from the comic from what little I know. Care to do a deep dive on this particular GL and how the crossover failed her?

Alright, I have some time to do asks, so lets dive on in! I was gonna write this out way better but my dotpoints kinda became their own essay so here we go!

TL:DR: I think that Jessica's anxiety was mishandled due to a fundamental misunderstanding of how her character is built in the comics, because they wanted a Cute Agoraphobic Queen (and forgot to have the agoraphobia). I also think that she lacked agency in her own mental health and plotline, with Jaune being the main mover in both, and that there is whitewashing to her design, as seen here compared to: other cartoons, other comic runs, her other rwby designs (feat. one Simon Baz because DC is keeping him from me)

Yeah. Hm. Anyway, lets get into my rambly thoughts about Jessica Cruz

Alright first things first: I’m not against Jessica Cruz being written differently to the comics if she’s written respectfully. I also really do like dc superhero girls and Jessica there is very fun as a character, even if I have some other issues with what they took out from her storyline

The thing about this iteration of Jessica Cruz is that apparently the theme of the movie was ‘gun violence’ or whatever and that’s. That’s her whole. That’s literally her whole comic backstory.

For a quick recap in the comics: Jessica Cruz one day was hiking with friends before they stumbled across some guys dumping bodies in the woods. All of Jessica’s friends were shot down and murdered right in front of her for being witnesses, and Jessica gained an absolutely brutal case of PTSD, which later fuelled her agoraphobia and anxiety.

Then, after spending 3 years literally never leaving her apartment out of terror that she was going to be tracked down and murdered like her friends, she was instead tracked down by an artifact called Power Ring (it’s complicated but p much it’s like an Evil Inverse Green Lantern Ring). The Power Ring, which is fuelled by the wearer’s fear and trauma, forces itself onto Jessica and turns her into a villainous puppet for it’s own will. She’s canonically being tortured by physical and psychological pain the whole time she’s wearing it. She’s nearly saved a few times from her Literal Possession but the thing that sticks is when she pulls a self-sacrifice and supposedly dies, only it turns out that the ring died in her place and then she got a Green Lantern Ring for her bravery in facing her fears and such. (I think the universe/writers were apologising because Genuinely WTF)

Now, the thing that a lot of people praise about Jessica as a character in most comics, is that she is, most of the time, a very realistically-written character with anxiety. Her anxiety is rooted mostly in her PTSD, which means that it has very definite triggers, one of which is, on her bad days, ‘guns being aimed at her’.

However, Jessica is also someone who actively works on this aspect of her mental health, she’s shown having gone to therapy sessions, learnt how to internally combat her negative self-talk, and actively works on herself. She has her coping mechanisms, and they genuinely work for her when she’s spiralling, and she’s able to work through her anxiety and remind herself that, in what is one of her main catchphrases ‘you are not your fear’.

DC Superhero girls pretty much just axed Jessica’s anxiety entirely and while she’s a fun character she’s also not really close enough to comics Cruz for me to really draw comparisons, although I do wish they’d been willing to explore that storyline (and maybe have Simon there) I understand why with the age range they didn’t decide to throw in Gun Violence and Anxiety (but they could have had Simon there where are you keeping him dc)

Meanwhile: RWBY/JL Jessica Cruz. Well. I don’t want to hate on people who like her. If you found joy in something that I did not, then I’m happy for you, but I do want to explain my problems. The first is the way they misrepresented and mishandled her anxiety, and the second is Jaune. Why does it always have to be Jaune, I don’t even hate Jaune, I just hate how much everyone in the writing rooms love him.

Anxiety: Jessica in the film is pretty much given a much more generalised anxiety disorder. She mentions that she’s had it from a young age, that she’s always been afraid, that the ring helped her fit in. She’s given a much different trigger of claustrophobia, and her agoraphobia is completely missing from her character. DC Superhero Girls took away her anxiety, so there’s nothing to misrepresent. RWBY/JL put in her anxiety, and put in the wrong one.

Comics Jessica’s anxiety, and her insecurities, come from a genuinely traumatic event, one that shaped her for years, one that she’s still fighting overcome. And then worse stuff happened to her and she kept going. I have a generalised anxiety disorder, I’ve had one since I was a teenager, and I can also say that how it was shown in the movie was… kind of stereotypical. She’s meek, and she shy, and she’s nervous and jumpy and doesn’t feel like she can do anything. And this is meant to be Jessica who still is that adult, just in a teen brain, and I know hormones suck, but they completely axed the fact that this is canonically a character who has mental health issues and works on them so they could have Jaune peptalk her through her panic attacks, which. Cures them, all of a suddenn

Yeah we’re getting into the Jaune stuff now. Jaune is the catalyst for everything Jessica does. He makes the plans while she worries, he talks her through her panic, he talks her through all her anxiety, and then… that’s it, really, all she does from that point on in the movie is Solve All The Problems. The emotional core of most of their scenes from post-Jessica confessing her anxiety disorder up until ‘the claustrophobia panic attack’ is on Jaune missing Pyrrha so much that he ignores Jessica actually trying to be reasonable about ‘this is sus’. It feels like they wanted to do ‘Jessica gets a best friend who helps her through her anxieties and supports her to stand on her own’, forgot to write the second part of that, and forgot one other tiny lil detail

WHICH IS SHE HAS ONE.

Simon Baz is Jessica’s Green Lantern partner in the comics, they’re your classic ‘hothead/cautious’ duo, they have literally the best interactions of friendship ever, this is the man who worries that Jessica’s not feeling okay after a bad day and shows up to make her pancakes for breakfast. They also have a real interesting quirk to their specific brand of green lanterning, which is that Hal Jordan was like ‘okay you need to learn to work together’ and fused their Power Batteries together. (quick rundown: green lantern rings need to be periodically charged up with lantern shaped power batteries otherwise there’s no constructs or cool costumes). Simon and Jessica cannot recharge their rings separately, they have to work as a team. And the first few comics of their run are great (I know nothing about the state of it now). They’re mutually supportive, they both have their issues, and Jaune feels like he was written to slot into that role.

I get that ‘we can’t have two green lanterns in here that’s boring’ was probably what was said but this is also what speaks to a wider issue about how Jessica is getting a lot more press time in non-comic properties. Which is awesome! Overall I love her character, I love the different takes on her, and it’s very cool to see her. Simon Baz, however. Is. Not getting any of this. Which is a shame. I just wish that my duo could get to be a duo.

But, I mean, if dc superhero girls is willing to just completely nix jess’s anxiety from her, why not nix Simon Baz’s backstory and still have him be her partner there? Why do all these properties decide that Jessica is best written when all of her character stuff beyond ‘female green lantern, occasionally nervous’ is removed from her? This isn’t just a rwby problem, but it’s something I’ve noticed especially in the rwby movie because of how they took Jessica’s character, when her backstory as it was would have tied into the so-called ‘theme’ for gun violence, and stripped her entirely for parts about ‘Jaune is a nice caring friend look how protective he is of poor scared Jessica’. He even powers her up for HER big 'ending the bad guy' move instead of allowing her to be as strong as a green lantern ring is meant to be

Jessica in the film is pretty much written as ‘nervous agoraphobic adorable widdle queen’, all of her actual agency, all of her own inner strength of being someone who struggles with anxiety and overcomes it is removed so that she can be a Pep Talk Recipient, and I gotta say another small thing: pep talks, in my experience, don’t actually cure a chronic generalised anxiety disorder.

Oh yeah and also not only is her Green Lantern outfit in this crossover really not good (everyone is, except vixen, vixen’s power is too strong for rwby character designers to truly damage), she’s also definitely whitewashed to the point that I think a lot of people would find it hard at first to know that she’s meant to be Latina. Like, even compared to her Adult Version, or her rwby comics version, or, say, some of the other animated versions of her, or even her comics version in The Good Runs, as shown above. I called her ‘ben 10-ified’, and I stand by that, it’s just… it's a bit eesh, considering rwby's other problems with colourism and such.

I think all the DC characters got massacred, but if this had to be the anxiety rep for the film, why couldn't it be the Jessica who was actively working on dealing with it, dealing with her self-talk, like this?

I know rwby's allergic to character development, but come on. Jessica is more than an Anxious UwU bean. That's kinda the whole point. Also, she plays pokemon, what's not to love?

[looosey]

Manic Spirit

Listening to Rich Spirit by Kendrick Lamar

Previously at this Institute when I felt feelings of Mania, I would look internally: perhaps I am genetically more liable to bipolarity or haven't been exercising enough. However, as this familiar feeling crept on me starting the moment I woke up in my bed at WILG this morning, as I started looking around and experiencing 30 thoughts that need processing at the same time, against a list of 30 things to do, I realized that this might be the only natural response to living everyday working seemingly endlessly. During these times (episodes?) I intensely reflect on my life and where I'm spending my time. Perhaps this is the only right response[revolt] to spending day after day doing things that I do not want and perhaps do not even need.

Last Fall, I had a episode that culminated in me bleaching my eyebrows with Dasha and freeing myself from many of the psychological traps that I'd felt stuck in during my freshman year through sophomore fall. Something broke in me. In a good way.

Recently, I've been sucking at everything I put effort in. Dance, rap, and classes. And I pacify myself a little bit, having sucked at dance for such a long time, telling myself it takes an enormous amount of effort to get good at something, that natural-talent is overrated, and that if i really wanted to improve, my day to day could look very different. However, I am still sitting with the question of what to drop and what to dial in on... and that is the larger question in my life.

I think I need to stop doing this technical degree soon... if I spend another year working on comma separated values... Imma lose my mind. I used to have such difficulty making major life decisions for myself. How could I choose what university I wanted to go to, when I didn't even know what kinds of colors I liked? But this level of understanding my own values and what I like is necessary to do something bold and risky I think, to get closer to a life I'd enjoy. A lowkey dangerous thought I've been having, is the moment ___________, I'm going to drastically become more myself. Which is truly truly interesting and unhealthy LMAO. Imma need to resolve this more on my own.

Here are the things I've been working on outside of schoolwork:

Getting an internship: I'm working on a music generative AI startup this coming summer! I think this is the direction I gotta go, in the intersection of science and creative art. I was blessed for real to be doing the right thing in the right time, which affirmed my belief that there is good in working hard in areas you find value over some system.

WILG Rush: my friend and I were in charge of revamping the rush system for our independent living group. It was almost like running a small startup with a group of 20 unwilling employees trying to sell some empty rooms to a target audience of busy MIT students. But I got into making some canva graphics for the instagram which was very fun.

[starlitsilvereyes]

19 Things I, Draco Lucius Abraxas Black Malfoy, Learned at Nineteen 

I originally intended to post this on my 20th birthday (last September 17) but I was drowning in College work and I only found the time to post now!! :(( | Warnings: References to the wizarding war, therapy, implied sex | Read on Ao3 | Ko-fi

Life after the War felt like the same difference at first. The world spins too fast and everyone is too good at pretending they’re okay.

Putting life on pause isn’t such a bad thing. Before I took a leap of faith with Wizarding Medicine, I sort of... wandered for a while. It was nice not to have darkness loom over me on some days.

Making a career out of something you love can be difficult. I love far too many things. I like to think that I’m an astronomer in another universe, a florist in another, and an apprentice Healer in this one.

My love for the stars only grew over the course of silent nights spent studying on my apartment’s rooftop. I study the stars right after I’ve studied the human brain. I can’t decide which one is more interesting—the consciousness that lives inside of us or the unknown that lives out in the universe.

Muggle tattoos feel incredible. I have three at the moment–a snake that wraps around my thigh, a dragon on my back, and the narcissus flower on my forearm. Mother wasn’t very fond of them at first, but I think she likes the flower more than she admits.

Father likes it when I call him Dad. He remains complicated, but has learned that there are more things in life than anger and resentment and power. He sends me a letter every Sunday to tell me about his week and ask how I am. I think he’s trying to make up for lost time. It’s okay, I am, too.

Potter gets into accidents more often than I get to visit Mother in France. Seriously, he’s in the emergency ward at least twice a week.

Things have changed since I left Hogwarts. This includes whatever Potter and I had.

Muggle psychology is interesting, though less advanced than the wizarding one. I go to a Muggle therapist once a month. I prefer that my therapist only knows and believes what I tell them. It makes me feel better about the part I played in the War. 

I enjoy watching Quidditch matches, despite deciding that I preferred medicine over this career. It’s nice to see a familiar face dashing towards a snitch, too. Especially if it’s a pair of forest green eyes looking back at me.

Potter has gotten wickedly good at being a Seeker. He’s always been good, but I think he’s better than me now, especially since I’m out of practice.

A "clubhouse" sandwich might just be the most magical thing I have ever tasted. After Mother’s blueberry pie, of course.

Potter is a wonderful cook, but a bad baker. He burnt the cupcakes three times in two hours!

I'm a decent baker — at least better than Potter.

The ocean isn’t as scary as it sounds. I used to fear it as a child, because I was always afraid of what lay in the unknown. Turns out, it isn’t too bad. Especially if I’m with Potter.

I cannot fucking sing the Happy Birthday song. It’s out of tune no matter how hard I try. It’s a stupid song anyway—it’s not funny, Potter!

Apparently, Potter can speak four languages now. What a menace! I’m learning another one as we speak so I could outlanguage him.

Muggle ‘cars’ are... something else. I still don’t trust it enough. No, definitely not more than a broom. This thing called the "engine" is too loud and—Potter!

Apparently, theoretically, you could have intercourse inside of a Muggle vehicle. At the back, rather. I’m too tall for the front. Good to know. 

—

See: 18 Things I, Draco Lucius Abraxas Black Malfoy, Learned At The Ripe Age of Eighteen

(If someone could find the Tumblr link for this one I’d really appreciate it. I can’t seem to find my own post 😅)