#and a lie | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jellyjamheadobb · 1 year ago

Text

Fucking listen to this. My friends and I. We playin Two Truths And A Lie. This was my fucking thrn

1 ”imagine being attracted to an old man twice/three times your age. Couldn’t be me”

2 “Imagine having been hit by a car twice in one week and being completely fine. Couldn’t be me”

3 “Imagine losing your virginity to a friend and then (casually) never talking about it. Couldn’t be me”

literally all four of my friends bro

friend 1: “1. You look like you’d fuck an old man”

friend 2: “yeah, 1”

friend 3 + 4: “old man fucker”

friend 2: “didn’t you say in 10th grade how you’d go down on our Economy teacher?”

they didn’t even fucking flinch. I got shot with a double barrel gun and then thrown in the pool of fire by them. Inconsolable. Fucking destroyed. I am. losing my shit. Sticks and stones can break my bones but fuck. Those words hurt me more.

#I fucking hate them /j #i mean #They were right #BUT THATS NOT THE FUCKING POINT #sobbing #I canttttt #We just finished innout rn and we’re gonna watch the planet of the apes movie at 8:30 so to pass the time we were playing two truths-#and a lie #we usually start our sentences for it with “imagine ___” and end it with “couldn’t be me”#but this was so fucking funny I had to talk about it #Literally only two of them even knew about me getting hit #Well I guess clipped technically. Does that count as being hit? Idk #Once was my fault fs but the other I was at a fuckin crossing street so 🤷#But anyway #they barely even bothered to think #I’m dying #help 😭#they know I’d fuck an old man and I’m dead #rey rambles #meme #memes #lmao #lol #dumb shit #funny #relatable memes #funny memes #best memes #I don’t even want to finish the rest of the meme tags #Anyway we’re gonna watch the movie in like 10 minutes now

16 notes · View notes

garden-of-carnations · 10 months ago

Text

I may not have a partner or my first kiss yet BUT what I do have is a 328 days strike in Duolingo and that just makes me cooler

#thats sarcasm #and a lie #im a loser

7 notes · View notes

gildedphoenix · 1 year ago

Text

Friend: Now I'm thinking of big strong, what's it called when you can't tell their gender? Cause they could be either? God, I wish I could pull that off.

Me: Enby (for NB, non-binary) Or androgonys. Though I feel like people who are "androgonys" are thin fae like creatures. Ethereal beauties. And Enbies are Solid immovable constructs of gerblin chaos.

#NB #enby #androgony #gender is a pigment #and a lie #friend was thinking of androgyny though #broke: male/female #woke: gender doesn't exist #bespoke: fae or gerblin

4 notes · View notes

yellbug · 7 months ago

Text

addicted to sending this clip from twilight to my friends whenever they are in a situation where i think they should lie

#or lie better

39K notes · View notes

eggdrawsthings · 6 months ago

Text

the not so perfect captain

#i still have so many things i wanna draw for this game no lie it's eating me alive #mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #captain curly #my art #artists on tumblr #tw blood #tw body horror

27K notes · View notes

anotherpapercut · 5 months ago

Text

I don't really think it's fair to dismiss the idea that that guy might have been framed for killing the CEO as like an unfounded conspiracy theory when NYPD has a proven history of planting/fabricating evidence on people. in 2011 there was a massive investigation of the NYPD and hundreds of cases against people were dismissed after a former police officer testified that they literally have a name for planting evidence on people: flaking. you cannot be out here acting like considering the possibility that cops who do this shit under normal circumstances might possibly also do it when they're under intense global pressure and scrutiny is the same as republicans thinking democrats run a secret pedophile ring in the basement of a pizza restaurant

#it astounds me how willing people are to cosign any shit cops and feds say #cops literally call testifying testi-lying. because they lie so much. its normal for them and they think little of it #that ones pretty easy to source and is well known in the industry wo i wont link you but if you google it you will see lots of sources #like just google the word testilying. so many articles come up its actually sad

34K notes · View notes

xzyumi · 9 months ago

Text

tang dynasty miku

#ms worldwide!!!!!#hatsune miku #vocaloid #miku fanart #hanfu #tang dynasty #artists on tumblr #not even gonna lie i don’t even go here i listened to like. three miku songs in 2013 that’s it #but this twitter trend was so cute and inspiring so i kinda had to #pls forgive this fake fan gomenaSORRY #yumidraws

35K notes · View notes

decamarks · 10 months ago

Text

Thinking of becoming a guy that thinks wolves are the most badass and aspirational animal, but about ants. Like wearing t-shirts about being loyal to my Queen and training to bench 5x my bodyweight. Studying ant warfare. Posting shit like this

#Ant photo by Alex Wild. Inspirational ant image by me.#In a sense‚ the Ant mindset is antithetical to those who follow the Wolf. The lone‚ individualist “alpha” inclinations simply do not apply.#The Ant values her work and her sisters. She is a humble worker and brave soldier. So small‚ yet so strong... Because she's never alone.#This post was a lie. I'm actually already this theoretical person.

29K notes · View notes

pangur-and-grim · 6 months ago

Text

one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."

I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.

#example: a 'friend' in middle school told me I should ask a guy out. she said 'he'll totally say yes'.#he did not. which was the obvious outcome #but it took me years to realize that she'd said that hoping to fuel some drama for her own entertainment.#ANOTHER EXAMPLE #a guy in college approached me saying that he'd been seeing me around campus but was always too shy to talk to me #and that he really wanted to get to know me #so I was like wow 🥺 romance 🥺 and hopped into bed with him #and afterward I was like what do you wanna do 😊 should we see a movie 😊 should we go out 😊#and he was like nope. byeeee.#and I realized I got bamboozled into sex #total shocked pikachu face #I'm still not the best at this tbh. I'm like 'why would this person lie to me. lying is bad'.#anyway this is why I not looking forward to entering the dating world again #DONT BAMBOOZLE ME I'M GULLIBLE

18K notes · View notes

prlssprfctn · 4 months ago

Text

I actually need some fanfic, where Bruce and Jason are in the middle of some argument, and a casual (and a well-practiced with Dick before) sentence leaves his mouth, something along the lines "How old do you think you are?!", meaning that he is acting childishly. And because Jason is irritated, and his tongue runs loose in his anger, he screams back that he is nineteen, and Bruce just freezes, because... Oh. Jason is nineteen. He is a fucking kid - his kid - that lost years of his teenhood, and was forced back without anyone giving him a space to catch up, with everyone else already treating him like an adult... When he isn't.

#you all don't understand how devastating it is to die like a kid and be back to everyone moving on and expecting you to run with them #when you are just learning to pace #no one give him time to come to his senses #and no one spoke with him about it #just how much derealisation it could bring #do you think jason sometimes still feels like he is a kid despite being so tall and strong #like he realises that he doesn't look like kid but in his mind everyone sees him like one #even though they never treat him like one #DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN #— lie's rambling #jason todd #red hood #dcu comics #dc universe #dcu #batman #bruce wayne

10K notes · View notes

sanctus-ingenium · 6 months ago

Text

going all-in | print

#artists on tumblr #setting: inver #creature design #pascal pwednesday let's all lie down and sleep

12K notes · View notes

iwritelmao · 5 months ago

Text

Bruce: *gets kidnapped*

Clark: *suddenly becomes the scariest motherfucker in gotham*

Tim: *gets kidnapped*

Kon: *suddenly becomes the second scariest motherfucker in gotham*

Damian: *gets kidnapped*

Jon: *to the kidnappers* hey guys! no, don’t worry, I’m just here to give yall a fair warning—hey dude shooting people isn’t nice—that you have maybe two minutes before Dami gets impatient and violent so you might just wanna let him go! yeah I can take him home!