#and all this is of course done subconsciously by your body/brain connection

[urbanfiltered]

▪️

[tamelee]

Hii tamelee! If I remember correctly, you’re studying storytelling, is that right? I wondered if you could explain in details what kind of school you’re going, or just what exactly you are doing in your studies? If it’s okay with you of course 😊

Have a good day :)

Hi~! Yeah, sure! 

I did marketing, (communication and entertainment), but then finished audiovisual and graphic design because I liked that much better than learning about how manipulative the industries are tbh. Unfortunately, I found out quickly, that pretty much every job in that industry has been taken over by AI and that even me learning how to draw wasn’t going to help me with that anymore either 🥲. Then, I continued doing Storytelling in the communication sector (where, yet again I learned about all the ways people are being manipulated -.-) because it’s quite a new official study. And then, I was accepted to apply for the program that focusses more on fiction— and got in. Which I’m doing right now (though I’m almost done).  

In short, what I learned about Storytelling in business is that organizations use the elements of fictional storytelling combined with science (both internally and externally) in order to influence and convince the attitude, knowledge and behavioral patterns for the right audiences that are targeted by a certain communication goal. That goes so far that even the science about our brains are dissected to figure out the best ways in which the organization can redirect your neurotransmitters and hormones to benefit the storyteller. Even if you know you’re being manipulated, (for example, through a commercial that’s shamelessly stomping on your morals through a guilt-trip, or a product in the store that’s obnoxiously being shoved in front of you), often it’s still about targeting your subconscious and trust me when I say that if you enjoy spending time on the internet, it happens to you all the time and you don’t even know it :D 

And yes, companies like shueisha/VIZ are masters in this as well— hence me disappointingly complimenting that skill at times.  

So, imagine my joy when I crossed the bridge toward fiction. 

Fictional storytelling is where I dissect not the science of a human brain exactly, but the story that’s being told. I have to figure out all the elements and literary devices that are being used and what they mean in the story. Not what it means to me, but finding meaning through the Theme the author/creator has used, and why. It’s about how a story is structured and what impacts people on an emotional level for their benefit (mostly). Why a story works and keeps you up all night, why others are usually almost always forgotten quickly. It’s not as subjective as people may think. Interpretation doesn’t mean much unless there’s intentionally room for it. (And when something is intentional or when it’s not.) There’s also science in its logic, but that’s not something most authors/creators focus on. And they really shouldn’t have to imo. It’s also knowing about character arcs and how to implement symbolism and motifs effectively. I have to write essays on movies and books or even TED talks. It’s using knowledge to figure out the why, what and how. 

I think it’s awesome as a study, but other than some creative writing lessons, it won’t help me with great prose. It’s hard for me to connect with my own emotions and body which is something a lot of great authors can do really well. Either naturally or having to have practiced the connection with their personal emotional intelligence in order to write their Truth in their own authentic way through their characters. I read many books outside of my study from scriptwriters as well which were helpful. None of it is any reassurance I’ll be able to write my own story effectively though. It’s more a guideline of sorts with knowledge and structure which a neurodivergent like me (yes, I’m diagnosed officially) really needs xD. I still have to practice a lot! ^^  Hope you have a good day as well 🌷!

[karla-the-elemental-dreamer]

Terra Week 2023 - Day 7 Package

@terrakhweek

Pieces: 1. Reflection from Terra 2. Drawing of Terra, Aqua and Ventus (as per Terra’s request) 3. An encore that Terra doesn’t see coming – Song Dedication

To be acknowledged/shared: TUE 28 MAR or WED 29 MAR

Requires mod/re-share on Twitter (written pieces)?: No – published via Twitlonger

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Firstly, here is the drawing done of the reunion in KH3. I thought this scene captured the Wayfinder trio the best, and their raw emotions, especially Terra’s:

I must say, Terra Week really pushed me to improve my drawing and do things I’ve never done before.

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Here is the conversation I had with Terra for Day 7. Ideas were still a mix-up when we had this chat, so it sorta goes all over the place but works out in the end. Terra also decides to give some of his own closing statements:

START CONVERSATION

Terra: “Hey, what’s going on? I heard there’s been some trouble with me?”.

Me: “Yeah… This energy has been seemingly messing with you lately and trying to derail me from my Terra-Week work”.

Terra: “Oh! Oh.. Awe. Would you like to tell me more about it?”.

Me: “I don’t think we need to regail the Terra-Week audience with that”.

Terra: “Alright; we’ll save that for another conversation then. But you said you’re stuck right?”.

Me: “I was stuck, and have been for days; but then I jammed all these fines up my subconscious this morning, and I think it finally got the message… Again”.

Terra: “Oh; hahahahahaha!… Gotta pay per disruption. So. What did you want to pick my brain about this time?”.

————————

Me: “Well, firstly; two benefits to when you speak. One; it’s a suitable way of showing our connection”.

Terra: “Mmm”.

Me: “And two; we get to hear from the man himself. I think that one time you spoke about being a Wayfinder and Caretaker, they enjoyed it last year. So I figured we had to give more this year; although I didn’t anticipate so many sensitive prompts for you this time; so once again, sorry about that”.

————————

————————

Terra: “It’s alright. I did I say I was gonna help you. Does this one need a hanky [handkerchief]?”.

Me: “It depends on how you answer it. Since I didn’t know what to do about ‘Hero’, I’ve decided to go with last year’s Day 7 prompt which is ‘Self-Reflection’. So I was just wondering if you could pretty much reflect on yourself”.

Terra: “I think I get where you’re coming from, but that’s a bit of a vague ask. Can I have more details?”.

Me: “If you could just simply talk about your Kingdom Hearts life, any of it. Re-tell some stories from your own perspective, or look back on some of your actions and state if you would do them the same or differently this time around”.

Terra: “Ah, alright. Well as you know yourself, I would have done a lot of things differently, especially if you remember what I said for your Day 3 thing. In terms of how I went, not only did I fail my Mark of Mastery exam, but I screwed up everything else after that. I’d rate that experience with a big fat doughnut, only I got my friends back in the end, so I guess it’s not entirely that bad”.

Me: “Connections are important to you, aren’t they?”.

Terra: “Totally. And that’s the reason I made it to the other side. Like I said; amongst all the anger, despair and trickery, Aqua and Ven served as a reminder for hope, and were my reasons to not completely give in”.

Me: “That’s where the Lingering Will came from”.

Terra: “That’s right. The entity that would keep fighting on even when my heart and body could not. And the Lingering Will also wears a cape… You said you didn’t know what to address for a hero?”.

Me: “Well; not all heroes wear capes, Terra. But I get the visual tie-in”.

Terra: “Well I’ll ask you a question then. Do you think I’m a hero?”.

Me: “In some ways I guess you are, being unbiased here of course. You did come in when Ventus was about to be exterminated by Eraqus, so you spared Ventus in that sense. And then in your comeback, as the ‘guardian’, you swooped in and broke the chains that were about to end the lives of Aqua and Ventus, as well as Sora. And then only after Sora proved himself worthy enough to you [KH2.5 Secret Boss], you sacrificed yourself when then Terranort guy wanted to blast Sora. With the ‘rule of three’ in mind, I did manage to list three things, which confirm you’re a hero, sooo… Yeah”.

Terra: “Mmhmm”.

Me: “Wait a minute… You just led me to addressing the prompt I thought I didn’t know how to address”.

Terra: “That’s me doing my job as your dream guide [one of three]. But aren’t you forgetting something big about the word ‘Hero’?”.

Me: “What do you mean?”.

Terra: “”Well, there’s someone in Olympus Coliseum that I met with. We had a match or two, although one was a bit off”.

Me: “Zack”.

Terra: “Yeah. So only if you have enough time left, you could draw me with Zack”.

————————

————————

Me: “It sucks that I still can’t do custom posing though”.

Terra: “It’s alright. All your other drawings have been fantastic so far. Hey; I’ve got one request if you’re okay with it. For the last day, could you please also draw me with Aqua and Ven? I understand that it’s supposed to be ‘Terra-Week’. But it doesn’t feel right not recognising the hearts of those who led me back here”.

Me: “In the case, I’ll prioritise that one over the Zack drawing”.

Terra: “And I’ve also got another idea for Day 4”.

Me: “Okay Terra; but aren’t we doing a bit much discussing our itinerary out in the open?”.

Terra: “It’s the last day. I’m sure the Terra-Week team would be interested to see how you did your work. So I was thinking about that 2022 prompt of New Friends and Hangouts. Your household and reality are basically my new friends. So why don’t you draw yourself and I, and a bunch of those teddies doing something together? I’m sure that’ll be appropriate, and we can add some Kingdom Hearts flare to it to make it more-so. And hey, if you’re wondering what happened to me, I’m making up for when I seemed to be missing earlier in the week”.

————————

Me: “Hey Terra, we’ve hit three pages [in the writing book]. Would you happen to have any final comments for Terra-Week as this will be posted on Day 7?”.

Terra: “Hmm, let’s see. Well… I know Terra-Week is supposed to be all about me, but then there are people that make it happen, like you. So I want those guys to know that I’m giving you a massive shout-out. What I find fun, but also a bit confusing, is that there are other versions of me? So I guess I’d be fascinated to see how other people choose to interact with me; or if they just make pieces about me. Like I wanna see what I’m doing in all their works. I must say that despite some difficult prompts, you’ve been very kind to me, and again, I’m sorry about any trouble I put you through. Like at least in your reality, I’m not too angry; crying all the time; wanting nothing but violence *chuckles*. But like I said, each person has something special to bring to the table; and I know everyone doing this project loves me in their own way… So thank you. And if there’s another Terra-Week next year, I’ll definitely be back. To the ‘mods’ though, could you not give such painful prompts next year that I have to bite my tongue while trying to help Karla?”.

Me: “Sorry Terra; that’s a ‘no-can-do, or more than half your cannon character would be gone lol. But I’d like to make a special admission before we close. To this day, I still sometimes want to wring the life out of Aqua and/or Eraqus for their occasional insensitivity which planted seeds for my dream guide’s ‘ruin’. However, Terra is always begging for me to let it go, and sometimes I perceive an energy where he gets hurt from my rants. That’s how much he cares about everyone and has a really good heart. This person had mountains of integrity, which is why in my reality, I’m trying to show him what he can become with his highest potential and minimal obstacles or doubts”.

Terra: “Mmm. Thanks to you, and the green guys too; the tots that come after me when I’m not feeling good. I’m also blessed to have Riku as a dream guide partner; so he and I get to strengthen our bond, and no matter what happens to the others, Riku and I have been guaranteed to experience this new reality together. Oh! And I can’t leave without quickly mentioning Karla’s mom. Once she found out about me… I’m the only dream guide in the house that’s loved by more than just one person, which makes it a house I never want to leave. Her mom’s said heaps of times that she feels bad for me. Alright, I think that’ll do it for Terra-Week this year. As the star, I’ve gotta be the one to finish it”.

END CONVERSATION

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THE ENCORE THAT TERRA DOESN’T SEE COMING:

I could talk about the last minute song dedication all day lol. When you go to the YouTube link, be sure to read the description if you want the info and reasons behind it, rather me me filling up this space so much. I will reveal though, that I wrote the song 😮.

Here is the link to the surprise Day 7 piece:

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I declare this the end of Terra Week 2023 from my end. To help the mod out, you can work with the above resources if you wish to construct a comment.

THE END!

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The reason I ended TW above is because I have also written a Behind The Scenes reflection on how I felt going through the production process, and then some of the other KH ppl also added their insights.

Therefore, I am not obliging the wider audience to be bored by this. Please only go to the G. Drive link if you have time and are interested in everything I went through to deliver the show: WARNING: Heavy Reading.

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Thank you!

[thequietmanno1]

TheLreads, Vigilantes ch 107, Replies Part 1

1) “Oh dear god it is time again. Good lord why. 

I’d be lying if I said I’m not curious to see what course this story will take now that all bets are fucking off and the bullshit gloves were thrown into the ground. We’re still like 19 chapters away from the ending, so Furuhashi better be cooking a continental ultra deluxe meal because otherwise…”- With the applications of both their power types revealed, it’s now time to start the arms race between Koichi’s ever-evolving applications of his powers mid-fight vs Nomura’s extensive bio-remodelling to keep trying different forms of the same attack to overcome him. 2) “Dude what the fuck that car done to you? Don’t go punching other’s rides like that when you got beef with Koichi alone”- Nomura is not the kind of bio-mutant to keep his grievances with Koichi to himself. If he has beef with him, he’s gonna display it in the most collateral-causing manner possible, which directly runs counter to the entire point of him supposed to be sticking to the shadows and avoiding the spotlight.

3) “So can another car. So can any person getting in front of it. So can a sufficiently angry goose. You’re not special McBee.”- He Knows. And that’s got his dander right up, and no mistake. Ain’t gonna back down now until he proves somehow that he is special, and deserving of his existence. 4) “The secret is *points at the fourth wall* that guy there, holding the pencil. He’s the one to blame. Kill him.”-Furuhashi’s secret is simply positioning Koichi between himself and any threats, to let his plot (and literal) armour block the blows. 5) “You can almost hear the dial-up tone playing from inside his head. Yeah he never plays dumb, he just is.”- His brain is dumb, but his body has gotten a GED from the School of Hard Knocks, and it’s time to display its credentials. 6) “No O'Clock Tupla, you’re overthinking this, I already told you, the one you’re looking for is that guy *points at the fourth wall again* he’s the one to blame, he’s the one pulling the strings. How could koichi handle a process in his subconscious when he barely has a brain?”- Actually, it’s probably a similar situation to driving a car. To use Endeavour’s analogy to the wonder trio when they trained under him, there’s all these small little actions that go into handling and using a Quirk, and gaining better and more precise control over it is simply becoming aware of what’s naturally happening in your body. Just like an experienced car-driver doesn’t think hard about all the little things they’re doing when driving an automobile after accumulating enough experience, Koichi’s been so used to getting beaten up and manifesting his Quirk to move around better that the process is skipping any conscious input from himself, reacting to his emotional state and needs (of which Quirks in general do seem to possess a semi-mystical connection to in their user). When he subconsciously senses incoming danger, his body reacts to that, using his Quirk immediately to react to the threat in a more “aggressive” manner than Koichi himself would, since he’d normally think about cowering from the blow instead. Basically, by training himself enough, Koichi already has the skilled body of a hero- and his mobility-enhancing Quirk is powerful and versatile enough that it can be directly utilised even by his subconscious brain to work in tandem when his body senses a danger that Koichi’s mind can’t keep up with. It’s like if the Goosebumps you’d get on your neck would make you automatically draw and fire a gun before you realised what you were feeling was off. 7) “right, okay, now I understand why there’s gonna be another 19 chapters, I totally understand now. Good luck there McBee.”- Hey, it did sorta work. Albeit, rather than out-performing Koichi’s defences, he overwhelmed them, hitting Koichi so many times so fast he ran out of repulsive control before he could take another breath to recharge, letting Nomura get one hit in – basically draining his mana until his shield dropped for a second.

8) “Oh my god even the O'Clock Tulpa is saying this plan is kinda bad. how low did Mcbee sink after Koichi’s ass-pull that even his own brain is telling him this ain’t gonna work”- Usually when your bad thoughts say “wow, dude you really suck, this is a totally bad idea here” they don’t come personified in a full-body costume, but that’s what Nomura gets from trying to make a self-help imaginary friend out of his own neurosis and fragmenting sanity.

9) “No I was giving McBee too much credit there it seems

he literally is going the “just keep punching even more” route after hearing how punching a lot wouldn’t work on it’s own.”- Koichi is not the only one making a fighting “strategy” out of “no thoughts, head empty”, it seems.

10) “Yeah, but I think you’re gonna run out of breath way before he does. This boy there is a powerhouse when it comes to getting an assbeat.”- That said, Koichi’s newly-upgraded defences do still have their limits. As he described before, taking a “breath” allows him to force the repulsion out or more accurately, focus solely on exerting that part of his body’s ability whilst he’s doing so, enabling him better control over his repulsive force. Once that breath/focus runs out, so too does Koichi’s repulsion, giving Nomura a split-second opening to land a direct hit on him. Granted, Koichi can quickly recover his focus whenever he takes a breath, so the gap is not that big, but it is still a vulnerability that his new Quirk upgrade doesn’t negate, so there’s still a slim chance for Nomura to pull a victory out…but that chance gets slimmer the better Koichi gets at handling his current experiences into actively controlling his Quirk better with this new edge. The more he gets a handle on how his body reacts in a life-or-death moment, the more he starts becoming an active threat to Nomura, rather than an unconscious one.

11) “And once again he fail because Koichi is just faster than him. That or he really has an built-in danger sensor a la spider-man.”- Everybody has that actually, not just Koichi. It’s the “sixth sense” that gives you goosebumps on your neck whenever you feel something’s off, that animal instinct warning your higher brain functions to start paying attention, because there’s something dangerous nearby and you’d better be ready for it. Peter Parker’s spider sense is just that function upgraded into an actual superpower, bordering on near foresight or future predicting at times, and that part of Koichi has been trained far harder and more extensively in the art of defensive combat than even he realises. Koichi’s power being so instinctive and easy for his body to use means it’s basically like giving that sense full control of yourself for a moment and making you move without thought, in a space that transcends speed into near-instinctual sensory perception. 12) “I bet five on the protagonist brushing that off. And it’s not even because Koichi is a protagonist, it’s because Furuhashi is the one in charge. I can’t see Koich getting actually hurt here, hell I can’t see he even breaking a nail before the end of the manga.”- He actually did manage to land a hit on Koichi here, but it wasn’t with a “pre-loaded” explosive fist, just a regular punch to soften him up for the killer blow. The downside of Nomura’s exploding punch is that he can’t unleash it as quickly as he moves his hands around, so there’s a noticeable delay between when he’s keeping a flurry going and when he’s unleashing a blast, before and after, if only because of the resulting regeneration. I presume he switched to a more monstrous form not only to overcome Koichi’s new power better, but so he can use the claws on his fingers to side-step the need to unleash a deadly blast on a foe when he can just shank them repeatedly at hyper-speed.

13) “Have you ever heard that cockroaches can live without their heads? Irrelevant tidbit there, considering Koichi’s head is gonna remain attached, but still a fun thing to know.”- Now we know Koichi can fire the repulsion from anywhere on his body, do you think he can fire repulsive eye-beam shots from his line of sight? Wouldn’t exactly be the most outlandish thing he’s done so far. 14) “And trust me McBee, he didn’t miss there. That was merely a warning. You don’t mess with the Author’s protagonist.”- And it was a shot aimed right at his head, in contrast to the voluntary near-miss shot he unleashed on him before. Ironically, because Koichi’s subconscious instinct is driving the body in that moment, he’s not holding back anymore, and is therefore capable of directly attacking or retaliating against Nomura before his conscious mind can interfere. By going so fast that rational thought can’t keep up, Nomura’s putting himself on a playing field where it’s far more likely that Koichi will actually take him out before he even realises what he’s doing – and you know that’s gotta be extra-humiliating, getting your ass kicked by a guy who’s literally not trying to. @thelreads

[tonkisugar]

Free shadow work journal

#Free shadow work journal pdf

Feel the soft breeze, smell the flowers, hear the birds chirping away contentedly in the background.įrom that safe space inside your vision of happiness, try to describe how you feel inside your body. Let’s say you have drawn a yellow sun shining over a field of endless bright flowers. If you struggle to define it in words at first, it can be helpful to use colours- what colour is happiness to you? Can you draw it? Could you draw your ‘happy place?’ĭon’t worry about the drawing being “perfect” or even good- the whole point of the journal is that it is for your eyes only. It can be both useful and enlightening to define what each feeling means to us, what we experience inside our bodies and minds when we are feeling a certain way. We can discover our passions and use this knowledge to forge a fulfilling career or find a way of life that allows us to experience more joy.Īs survivors we often struggle to identify feelings. If we spend some time reflecting on the feeling of joy and thinking about what brings us joy, we can discover ways to rebalance our emotions during times of distress. What brings me joy? When do I feel happiest? What does happiness feel like for me?ĭepression can suck all the joy out of our lives. How do the people who love you describe your positive qualities? Don’t be afraid to ask- the people you are closest to have a much clearer view than you- especially when the inner critic is raging.Ģ. Perhaps you can cook well, play an instrument, speak more than one language?Īre you a loving parent, a good friend or partner? In our dark moments it can be healing to look over such a list, as a reminder of reality when we are perhaps disconnected from it. Use your journal to make a list of your positive qualities -and trust me, there are many! It is possible to silence this inner critic, and one way of doing this is by challenging our negative assumptions about ourselves. Survivors of traumatic events often have a voracious ‘inner critic’- a nagging voice constantly reminding us of everything ‘wrong’ with us, commenting on our mistakes and failures in life, telling us we should have done better. When we are feeling low, it can be hard to think of things we love about ourselves. What do I like about myself? What are my best qualities? Here are 5 journal prompts to help you get started. Of course you can just write freely, but prompts can give you a place to begin which helps when you are staring at a blank page. Journal prompts are simply short statements or questions that allow us a starting point. It can be difficult to know where to begin- which is where prompts come in. Just let the words flow and you will be surprised at how much calmer you feel after getting it out- and how much you can learn about yourself. Your journal is private– you can write any and everything in there. Journaling can follow a ‘stream of consciousness’ approach, whereby we allow the flow of the words to take over- this helps to get into the subconscious where a lot of our trauma is stored. It can feel like a huge release to get them out onto paper- by writing them down we allow them to exist outside of the mind. Make copies.Journaling is really helpful for healing because it is a way to explore your thoughts and feelings.

#Free shadow work journal pdf

*** I have purposely made this into a downloadable document (hurrah!) Print out your PDF HERE. … And She is slippery, irrational (in all the best ways), and not entirely of his world. Journaling as a part of shadow work is a process of tapping into the unconscious The reason for this, is that it activates your right brain – the part of your brain that is non-rational, non-linear, and connected to mythic times and places. Journaling like this needs to be done by hand. SIt down in the garden if it’s sunny, if not then smooch up into a comfortable place where you can both feel at ease and write comfortably. And lordy, pushing yourself into emotional spaces when you don’t actually need to isn’t what any of us want to be doing right now! So trying to find our way back to them, to create some kind of meeting point is not only counterintuitive but emotional. By its very nature, it’s not an easy path – the shadow contains parts of ourselves that we pushed away. But the truth is that journaling as a method for meeting your shadow can be uncomfortable. And I’d like to use that as an excuse for why I didn’t do this work for so long. I resisted journaling for a long, long time. Journaling is like the gateway drug for shadow work

[avissapiens]

Avis' Subject Symposium

A Crash Course in Trance Pt 1: Files.

(Art by Acro @sodalite96/https://twitter.com/sodalite96 Used with their permission. Go check them out!)

So often new subjects come to me and they don’t know the first thing about trance. None of its mechanics or methods, and so it can be very daunting for them; to step into such a wide abyss without knowing what to expect and what is expected of you. Many of them, even experienced subjects, expect that 100% of the work is and should be done by the Hypnotist. In truth both parties, the hypnotist and the subject, must be willing and able. But while it’s more readily apparent what must be done in order for a tist to be successful in their endeavors, many subjects/potential subjects can have a hard time understanding what it takes to get the most out of their trance, both from pre-recorded files, and from live sessions with a hypnotist. So, I’m here to give you what is in my opinion, the essential Crash Course to Trance, starting first with trancing to files.

Location

Find yourself somewhere nice, darkened and quiet, where you know you won’t be disturbed. This is already a hard task for a lot of subjects, living with other people always increases the chance that one might barge in on you, eyes glazed over, drooling all over yourself. Or that someone’s reckless pounding from above might shake the abyss so thoroughly that it takes you out of trance. But here is the thing I will stress. While physical quiet is a good idea as it allows you to focus on the words and suggestions streaming into your head. What matters so much more is internal peace and quiet. A location where you can feel at ease and safe and secure in yourself. A locked bedroom surrounded by mountains of pillows. Your favorite plush armchair that threatens to swallow you almost as well as the Abyss of Trance. The peaceful morning route on the train whose path you know so well that you can be lulled into trance just by the rumbling vibrations of the tracks beneath your seat. Wherever you can be comfortable.

The ideal location for trance I'm sure does exist in some government facility or therapists office somewhere, where you can be dropped into an isolation tank and be brainwashed clean. But most of us will never encounter that. So what matters then is the ideal mindset for trance, which is one of peace, safety, trust and assurance.

Equipment

This is one of the reasons so many love using files. Because its barrier to entry is so low. All you really need is something to play the file on and a place to listen. This is in contrast to working directly with a tist where you need, at the very least, A good internet connection, maybe a camera, Another person who you trust and who might be wildly inconsistent. Or working in person which probably will require a whole location and time-table to get set up. No, Files are relatively simple and they are no better or worse than live sessions for certain purposes. However, like all simple things, they can be elevated by improving its ingredients. A box cake from the store and a home-made chiffon are functionally the same, but their difference comes in the ingredients and technique.

So for trance I recommend spoiling yourself a little, at the very least buy yourself some decent quality over-ear headphones. Many file-makers (myself included) add frequencies and binaural beats underneath the main track. These serve the purpose of training your own brain’s waveforms to a certain frequency, thus more easily taking you into trance. But they can only be detected and properly registered with some good headphones. Additionally, The encapsulation of headphones provides a more immersive experience, isolating you and transporting you through the trance experience like you are in your own little world. Trust me. $600 studio headphones aren’t needed, But a good quality wired $40 headset goes a long way and is multi-purpose. A decent quality chair or mattress also will serve you well, not just in trance but in life.

Focus

Trance is a very tricky state that, like all things, requires practice and patience to master. Staying in trance is like a tightrope walk, teetering gently between the realm of consciousness and awareness, and the oblivion of total subconscious and sleep. It is the liminal space between the two, that subconscious space that makes trance and hypnosis possible. It is the state where your mind is most open to total suggestion and where magical things can happen. So how does one walk the line between these two modes of being? The answer is focus. Or rather Half-focus. Focusing without focusing. With descriptions like that it can sound like some kind of Zen riddle, but that is often what it feels like sometimes. Now this is not a laser focus like you would expect in a classroom setting, no one is being tested here. It's a more gentle and subtle focus. Like focusing on the world around you. Focusing on the wind on your face, the rise and fall of your lungs; On the way your body just goes loose and slumps over. The trick is to go in and to follow along, to listen and pay attention and try to comply with the suggestions given at first. Suspend your disbelief and engage with it unironically and without pretense. If you notice yourself drifting, don’t try to force it back to focus. Simply let it explore where it wants and to carry on organically. Nothing in trance needs to be forced. Simply focused on and allowed to happen.

Many subs oscillate in trance, their minds ebbing and flowing like a Sine wave; wavering in and out of trance, one minute aware, the next minute completely blank and asleep, and then for a brief moment in bliss. But it averages out to trance at the end of it. One must also not fear dropping out of trance. Focusing too much on that eventuality makes it a self fulfilling prophecy. Just Focus-not-focus-half-focus and enjoy yourself.

Apprehension

So many subjects look at files and their mind begins to spin with endless questions and anxieties. Worries about “losing themselves” or “changing too much” or “doing things they don’t want to do.” It’s a valid set of concerns for a new subject, uninitiated in the true mechanics of trance and only knowing of hypnosis what is shown in the media. Evil villains and monsters brainwashing our heroes to do horribly enticing and arousing things. So ingrained is this idea that it even crossed over into the allure of hypnosis files. And while I won’t say it's impossible for that to happen, I have 3 comments on it to ease your mind. First, with Files, one of the best things about it is that the subject gets to control practically every single aspect of the experience. When you do it, how many times you listen, and whether you listen at all to begin with. While all files should be clearly labelled with Content and trigger warnings and given an explicit summary of what they are and what they do, we know that is not the case. The amount of “Mystery files” I've seen on various forums irks me to no end. But it appeals to some people. However, for those who are not particularly fond of surprises you have the absolute power to review the file before you trance to it. You can give it a fully aware walk through, or just jump through segments to look for anything that doesn’t suit your taste.

Once you’ve done that however you might still be conflicted about some content. Not openly averse to it, but unsure. Dumbing down and IQ reduction are probably number one on this list. People are so terrified of somehow losing everything when they learn to stop overthinking things. For these concerns my second point suggests Introspection. Ask yourself “Why do I/Don’t I want this?” “Is it really as bad as my anxiety is making it out to be?” Because if you like something a lot, and really want it, then why should you deny yourself it out of fear? Even aside from dumbing, many desires are tinged with this air of guilt or fear. Terrified to acknowledge or grab hold of what we truly want and own up to it. In my estimation Hypnosis can be one of the best ways of dabbling with those desires because in trance there is no shame or judgement. Finally, my 3rd point says you don’t have to worry. If you really don’t like a suggestion you can always leave it behind. Your mind has built in fail-safes to reject suggestions you haven’t agreed to. A file cannot make you do something unless you want it, at least subconsciously. The old cliche goes “All Hypnosis is Self-Hypnosis” and what that fundamentally means is that as a subject you are the one who decides what happens. You consent and go along with things and allow them to happen to you. It is your desire, your focus, your arousal and your own subconscious that allows hypnosis to work. Subjects have more power than they know. I really hope it assists some people in vibing better with trance and files. I’ll be putting out another version for Live hypnotists later this month.

Thanks again to Acro for letting me use their Art, definitely go and support them on twitter. And If you want to support the creation of more hypnotic experiences that might help you practice that balance of focus then you can do so by subscribing to my Patreon, or to my Youtube channel. And if you want to interact more closely with me and my supportive community you can join my Discord server.

[karlswrites]

A Grimm Trip

This is part two of the Devildom boys carrying you around. From here on out, this little series shall be affectionally named the Devildom Taxi Service. This week's boy is Mams the Man.

I hope y'all enjoy a protective Mammon!

Warnings: Some violence? Like, there's no blood. Also, you have a twisted ankle, so... sorry. There's that good fluff, though...

Word Count: 1,694

When arriving at the Devildom- even though it was a shock- you didn’t expect most demons to be friendly with you. You expected some cursing and the classic life endangerment, but you didn’t expect high-school-level bullying. You were in college, for Pete’s sake. Needless to say, the demon foot sticking out by your classroom’s door was an unpleasant surprise. So was the faceplant that followed right after.

You attempted to stand back up, pulling yourself up by your elbows and knees. Within one second, a disheveled Mammon (Let’s be honest, he would sprint to you) was kneeling at your side. His hands made swift movements, one landing at the small of your back and the other grabbing at one of your wrists. He pulled you up and into him.

His heartbeat drummed against your ears. It was beating fast. Whether it was from worrying about you or embarrassment, you didn’t know. Still, the sound fluttered around you, engulfing you in warmth. Expected to see a miffed Mammon, as he was typically vexed by you getting in trouble, you looked up. Mammon had apparently decided to look at you then, too. A furious blush washed over his cheeks and ears when he noticed how close you were. The expression was surprising, and the shock of it made you grow a similar shade in return. Again, you felt his pulse rate increase. That somehow calmed you, and you began to relish in everything that was Mammon. He was always so selfless as to embarrass himself in your stead. Stepping in right after you suffered a measly trip, caring not for his tarnished reputation. His brothers always called him selfish, but, boy howdy, were they wrong.

Mammy released your wrist but kept his hand on your back, ensuring that you wouldn’t fall back down. The two of you began to stand together when a sharp pain shot through your ankle. Mammon immediately lowered you back to the floor, sitting you back against the wall.

“Whoa, hey! Are you okay?” he asked, words tumbling out of his mouth about a mile a minute.

You almost couldn’t understand him, though his urgency to treat you was sweet. Futilely, you tried to ensure him that you were fine, but that same pain returned when you attempted to move again. Turning your foot felt like a death sentence; you were in rough shape.

Before you could muster any soothing words, Mammon was at his feet again. Never taking his eyes off you, he approached the other student still laughing at his desk. The boy fell silent when he noticed the Avatar of Greed was standing before him. The cocky grin he wore turned panicked.

“You think it’s funny? You think hurting my human is funny?” Mammon’s voice lowered an octave as he spoke. Some semblance of a growl echoed from his throat.

Those shrill screams and whines you had once associated him with melted away from your memory and were replaced by, if you thought you had heard correctly, his snarl. He was clearly pissed off. Being the only demon who never laid a hand on you, it was a bit scary to see him behave like this. Anger was beginning to physically manifest around him; the lights dimmed and the surrounding air started to cumulate into black fog.

Being the fourth (I’m putting Barbatos at #2) most powerful demon, Mammon was capable of things beyond your imagination. Fear took the reigns in your brain as you began to imagine a series of scenarios, each pumping more and more cortisol into your veins. One image showed the greedy demon decimating your classmate, claws ripping into their uniform, fangs plunging into any extremity he could reach, horns threatening to pierce through the top of his head. It was quite the contrast to how he typically acted when terrorized by Lucifer or any of his other brothers. He’d allow them to hang him from the ceiling, but God forbid anyone to do anything like that to you. You were his emotional support human, and he wanted to protect you as your first. Anyone who hurt you was begging for whatever they got.

You were pulled from your thoughts when the unnamed demon yelped. Mammon had lifted him, fists curling into his jacket’s collar. The black fog had begun to swirl around the two, gradually rising from Mammon’s feet into the air. With each curse and threat escaping his lips, the fog rose higher and higher. If things continued like this, the two would be swallowed whole by the essence.

Knowing that there was no other way to stop Mammon from making a mistake, you called out him. The golden glow from Mammon’s sigil emitted from your back and through the thick material of your jacket. A wave of strength coursed through you as you stretched a hand out towards the two.

“Stop.” Your voice rang louder than you intended, but you were surprised by how clear it was. Your body was still shaking, but it definitely didn’t sound like it.

Mammon froze. His hands stilled as if frozen in time. The black fog dissipated completely a second after your command reached him.

“Let him go, Mammon. Come back to me.” Mammon eased at your soft voice and followed your orders without a thought.

When he looked back at you, his eyes gleamed with something: a mixture of gratitude and shame. There was rarely a cause for you to command him, and he hated every single time he brought you to control him. It wasn’t relinquishing himself to you that upset him. No, it was that he had let you down. To him, he had done something grave. Anything that he did that wasn’t right with you was like a cardinal sin in his eyes. His perception was a tad melodramatic, but after how you fixed the broken remnants of his family, you were truly an angel to him. Disappointing you had become his biggest fear and grievance.

“It’s okay,” you called to him, your voice beginning to waver as the sigil’s magic wore off. “You’re okay.”

You silently prayed that your words anchored themselves to him, and you made a note to yourself to praise him for his kindness later once you saw the light returning to his golden orbs- the same gold that brightened when he let the student go and raced back to your side. Mammon was still undoubtedly angry at the other demon, baring teeth as he glared at him over his shoulder. Getting the hint, he and your other classmates hurried out of the room.

Mammon asked again if you were okay. You said yes. His eyes traveled from yours to your ankle (When writing this, I almost said, “His eyes traveled down south for the winter. Not even kidding), and he removed your shoe. He wrapped his hand around your ankle and gently poked it with his thumb, eliciting a quiet whimper. The pout he gave after almost made you laugh despite the pain.

“Yeah, I ain’t lettin’ ya walk like that,” he murmured. His eyes met yours again and his pout spread into a white smile. “Guess it’s my duty to help ya back to your room.”

As you recalled one past life-threatening instance, you understood Mammy loved playing the hero, so you agreed.

Mammon turned on his knees, facing his back towards you. Carefully, he trudged backward to you, keeping his eyes trained to yours. He was subconsciously looking for any sign of discomfort- another testament to how caring he was, even if he didn’t recognize it. He gripped the backside of your knees firmly and dipped his head. That gave you enough room to pull yourself forward, wrapping your arms over his shoulders, mindful not to put too much pressure around his neck. You didn’t want to accidentally choke your knight in messy uniform.

“I hope I’m not too heavy,” you breathed against his neck. He shook off the shiver you caused with a hearty laugh.

“There’s no way you’re too heavy for the Great Mammon!” he protested, pulling you closer to him by your knees.

In one fluid motion, he hoisted you up and stood. He was pretty graceful for a “scumbag,” and you hugged yourself closer. Your chin found a home on his shoulder, slipping past the undone collar of his shirt, clinging to the warmth of his skin. Additionally, your arms were pushing his jacket further past his shoulders to his elbows, but there was no way he was going to complain. On the contrary, the pink gracing his cheeks proposed he liked the closeness. Well, that wasn’t very tsundere of him. Before you could catch it, a giggle slipped past your lips as he stepped out of the classroom.

“What’s so funny, human?” Mammon asked, nudging your cheek with his. You wondered if he could feel how he made your face hotter than hell. He must have because his step faltered.

“Nothing. Just thinking about how selfless you are.” That was sorta true.

Unlike the cheerfulness that rang from him before, his laugh was dull. He removed his cheek from yours and looked straight ahead.

“I ain’t selfless!” His hollow laugh died down, and he turned serious. “If anything, I’m selfish and greedy. I wanted to be the hero, I wanted to save you, and nobody else ain’t gonna get the chance to when I’m around!” His voice picked up when he finished, and his eyes were renewed with vibrancy as he looked to you. He cheered himself up with his own words, and his “greed” flowed from him like sweetness.

“Still, you’re sweet to help me. Thank you,” you cooed, connecting your cheeks once again.

This time, it was Mammy’s turn to erupt into a flustered state. He almost tripped over his own two feet, though he was careful to keep himself up. He was carrying precious cargo after all.

Upon delivering you to your dorm, the two of you spent the rest of the day watching your favorite shows and movies, eating your favorite snacks. Of course, Mammon argued he only allowed such thing ‘cause he liked them too.’

Lucifer's (Part 1): Pride In Arms

[stayevildarling]

Wilhemina Venable x Reader- Sick

word count: 5.4k

warnings: mention of scoliosis, sickness, dizziness, angst + fluff

A/N: Hi everyone! I can't believe this is my first sick fic but I just had to do one with Wilhemina x Reader. If anyone would like to see some more, I might do a series of these with Cordelia or Ally or even Billie. (Let me know)

This is dedicated to a very special person I met on Tumblr- I hope you remember to take a break from time to time and look after yourself! ✨

Taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker , @mrsdeanhoward , @alexajbitar , @in-cordelias-coven , @kenzbro , @loverofallthingssarah , @twistedpoeticjustice , @billiebeanhoward , @minaslittleone , @lilypadscoven , @vintagepaulson , @ninaahs , @whitelotus00 , @httpfiftyshadesofgay

''If you decide to go into work, it's at your own risk, don't come running to me afterwards, if you don't feel well'' Wilhemina's harsh words ring through your ears as you stand by your desk, trying to focus on the tasks ahead. All you can feel, as your hand wanders to the table, desperately looking for some support to not lose balance, to not give your legs the power to stop supporting you and to fight your body from giving up and letting exhaustion win.

In reality, Wilhemina's words weren't supposed to come out as harsh and rushed as they did, her stern and cold tone and demeanor, only a defensive mechanism for the woman, trying to hide her true feelings that are buried deep within her soul. She meant to protect you, from yourself mostly but also the sickness and the flu that had come knocking about a week ago, but you being stubborn pushing it away as if it wasn't real or meaningful.

However, as you stand by your desk, trying hard not to lose balance, you realize that all along Wilhemina had been right and you should have listened. The times, she told you to stop working so much and doing over hours as your job demanded it, the times she told you that making her a bath or cooking dinner isn't necessary that day. The times she told you to take care of yourself and simply lie down but you wouldn't listen, always caring more about everyone else's wellbeing, especially the redheads than your own.

''Miss Y/L/N, have you finished your assigned task yet by chance?'' you hear the voice of your boss, as she enters and you wish she didn't, as her voice only adds to the throbbing pain in your head, causing your vision to blur and everything to feel even more unbearable than it already does.

With all the fight and strength left in you, you manage to turn around and grab the folder, handing it to her with shaky hands. You had always been good at hiding, either fighting battles of sickness or overwhelming thoughts, drowning in your own emotions deep down but remaining to keep a perfect facade and smile to the people on the outside, so they didn't understand and learn your true feelings as you see no reason to bother them with it. However, no matter how much you try and hide this and pretend that you aren't consumed by sickness fighting your body, it's very visible in your features.

Even though your boss is a very hectic person, always caring about performing well and getting work done as ''efficiently and quickly as possible'' as she repeats on a daily basis, even she manages to notice your fragile state. Your face, which is usually filled with light and warm smiles, doesn't just lack the genuine smile and warmth but also color as you are incredibly pale. She quickly connects the dots, noticing how your hand is gripping around the desk still and how your other hand is shaking uncontrollably.

''Miss Y/L/N, are you feeling alright?'' you hear her ask before your eyes feel heavier as the exhaustion is slowly creeping up on you and you have trouble concentrating on what is happening, as you feel more in a dream-like state. For a moment, everything seems to pause and you only snap out of it when you feel some weight pressing on your shoulders and someone forcing you to sit down on a chair they pulled closer.

Only as you force your eyes open, slightly confused and dumbfounded at what is happening,  you realize it's your boss making you sit down and walking to the other end of the room to get some water for you. ''Miss Y/L/N while I appreciate your determination, you should have called in sick this morning'' she explains, while handing you a glass of water with a compassionate smile but the concern visible in her features. ''I just wanted to-to finish the'' you start but stop midway as you feel sick at the pure sensation of water in your mouth, let alone swallowing it.

''I understand but you need some rest, that much is plain, need me to call someone for you?'' she asks but you instantly tense, knowing your girlfriend Wilhemina will definitely not be amused if she has to pick you up from work, after explicitly telling you not to go in the first place, this morning and last night. Not to mention, she is at her own workplace, having to deal with her own piles of work, her constant back pain, and two idiot bosses on top of it all.

''No I am ok- okay'' you manage to get the words out and force your best smile, knowing if you aren't going to be convincing enough, she might not let you leave without calling someone. ''Very well but you better not show your face here, until you are truly better'' she warns, with a little smile, knowing how determined you are, and while she appreciates your work attitude a lot, she knows you tend to overwork yourself and forgetting to take care of yourself in the process.

Taking a deep breath, you somehow manage to prop yourself up and grab your bag, taking slow but steady steps towards the exit and the bus stop. As you walk through the corridor, momentarily blinded by the bright lights flickering, you are well aware you shouldn't attempt to get on the bus, considering there is still a little walk back to yours and Wilhemina's apartment but you could never bother your girlfriend with this, not because she told you so in the first place but because you need to remain stable and alright.

As you walk through exit and towards the bus stop, you feel some droplets of rain on your skin and instantly shiver a little as the cold water only adds to the uncomfortable feeling. Focussing on your vision and the bus timetable as you actually don't know the times because you would usually never leave work after two hours, the dizziness momentarily passes a little as the thoughts become overwhelming. Waves of uncomfortable thoughts crash into your brain, with no way of stopping ''What if they will fire me, what if people will be disappointed in me, what if Wilhemina hates me?''.

You try your best to take deep breaths and push the thoughts away but the only thing usually helpful at keeping the storm and waves of emotions at bay, is the woman you are trying to hide this from. Usually, she could tell by how stressed or anxious you seem and without addressing it much, she will just pull you into her arms or let your exhausted body rest on her lap, the soft hums and stroking her fingers through your hair, stopping the thoughts momentarily.

''Are you getting on Miss?'' you hear a male unfamiliar voice, snapping you out of your thoughts and noticing that somehow the bus already arrived and you blink a few times, confused whether you just stood there for ages, unable to focus on anything in reality anymore or if it just happened to arrive so quickly. ''Miss?'' he tries again, his voice now showing a slight sign of impatience. Your mind automatically connects it with Wilhemina's impatience whenever you would just admire her, completely taken back by her beauty and features and the same agitation in her voice, as she would try to speak to you.

''Yes,'' you quickly say and get on the bus, showing your ticket like you would every morning. Finally collapsing onto the nearest seat you can find, leaning your head against the window and closing your eyes, you feel some of the exhaustion fade as you sit on a comfortable surface. Your thoughts wander back to Wilhemina and it suddenly dawns on you that you haven't even texted her your usual good morning text yet or checked-in how her work is going. A small part of you wants to avoid any confrontation with her today as you are still worried, she will be mad at you.

After all, maybe you could avoid all the questions and confrontation if you simply lied. Of course, you are fully aware it won't be easy to lie to your girlfriend, especially with her always being able to tell but you wonder if you could somehow pull it off. Pretending to still be at work and only got off work a bit earlier, not to worry her and not to argue, as she did tell you after all not to come running to her.

Deciding on actually messaging her and pulling your phone out of your bag, you realize it was a mistake as soon as the bright screen blinds your vision yet again. All you could see before your eyes force shut, is Wilhemina's name on your screen but you can't begin to read the messages as your fragile state isn't allowing you to do so. Deciding on dealing with that later, you rest your head against the window and zone out for a while, trying hard not to fall asleep on the bus and end up somewhere entirely opposite to your direction and final stop- home.

Part of you doesn't remember how you ended up in bed a while later, your brain too tired to remember the details of getting off the bus at the right stop and walking aimlessly for a few minutes before you found yourself in front of your shared apartment. Thankfully, along the way, your subconsciousness took over and guided your body home safely, as you were in no state to focus on much anymore, your body on autopilot mode.

As soon as your tired body finally comes into contact with your mattress, pulling the blanket closer to your face and snuggling up comfortably, you feel relieved, and before any more waves of overwhelming thoughts arrive, your body finally allows itself to rest and you fall into a deep slumber. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you remembered to set an alarm for in a few hours, making sure you would be awake for when Wilhemina would return, even in your sleepy and sick state, still keeping track of everything and keeping your perfect facade up.

However, whenever you try and protect everyone around you, considering every detail perfectly you tend to ignore yourself in the process and checking in on how you are feeling or how decisions might affect you. As a result, you didn't just take a small nap like intended, you fell asleep, sleeping off most of the fever and letting your tired body fight the illness. However, due to your state, you fail to wake up from the alarm or wake up to Wilhemina coming home from work, a little early as she couldn't reach you all day, not the usual lunchtime call or messages you would sent her, no matter how busy you are.

As soon as Wilhemina unlocks the door, discarding her small purple handbag on the table, she walks through the apartment in an effort to find you, her cane hitting the floor hard and with a heavy force, reflecting what she is feeling inside. Of course, she had known you haven't been feeling well and not only hiding it from her but also trying to push through like you usually would. The redhead didn't mean to lash out at you or use the harsh words she did in the end but your actions and behavior reminded the sometimes stern woman of her own behavior. Always ignoring her back pain and pushing through endless emails or documents on her desk, regretting it the same day or days later when the pain felt unbearable, and yet she still hid it from everyone.

She was trying to look out for you, the times she told you not to go in, take a break, and also when she said she wouldn't be there. Of course, she would, Wilhemina loves you and her love for you has been both the most confusing and strong thing she has ever felt for anyone. You had crashed into Wilhemina's life like a thunder, unexpected, and with heavy force, she had no idea the day you walked into her life, it would change everything. It didn't just change Wilhemina herself and being able to open up slowly, it also allowed her to feel emotions and understand them as something positive and not something you should try and hide or avoid at all costs. From day one you had brought out her soft side, allowing those walls to tumble down and letting the light and love into her life as her heart has been a dark and lonely place for long enough.

Her first stop is the kitchen, hoping deep down she wouldn't find you cooking in there, or the dining room with a meal prepared, as she wouldn't want you to overwork yourself even more after work. After not finding you there, she checks the bathroom but no sign of you either, only to finally be met with the bedroom in complete darkness. Slightly dumbfounded, she switches the light on, the lamp slowly filling the room with light and exposing your fragile, shivering body on the bed.

Wilhemina's heart almost breaks at the sight, seeing you in such discomfort and knowing at the same time it must be bad if you voluntarily went to bed early and skip the usual responsibilities that aren't actually your chores or Wilhemina expecting them of you but you thinking that regardless. She slowly approaches the bed, her cane hitting the floor very carefully and quiet now, sure to not wake you up in the process, as she wouldn't want to startle you or add to the discomfort you are in.

She finds you wrapped in a blanket, still wearing the clothes you had left in this morning and Wilhemina knows if you willingly did that, you must have felt awful when you returned home. Her hand wanders closer to your face, gently tucking at the blanket so she can take a look at your face. She gasps a little when she sees how pale you are, droplets of sweat on your forehead at the same time and her heart breaks at the sight, seeing her little one in this much pain and distress.

For a moment the redhead debates what to do as she has never been great at taking care of anyone or allowing people to take care of herself. As a child, she was often told not to exaggerate, that her back pain isn't that bad, that it doesn't need checking out from doctors and that she just has to deal with it. Eventually, she started to believe it and the emotional abuse she suffered in her young years, combined with the pain, made the redhead believe that she isn't worthy of affection or love or someone taking care of her. Even till this day, she barely allows you to help her out with her pains, not liking the fact anyone would show her the affection and tender care that was lacking in her younger years.

Gently, her hand reaches for your forehead, her rational thinking kicking in now to determine the state and severity of your illness. As soon as the back of her palm comes into contact with your forehead, she gasps, her facial expression changing from concerned and wishing she could just cure you right there, into worrying and shock. Her nostrils flare as she has no idea how you managed to get through the last hours and at the same time feeling angry, that you kept her in the dark and didn't call her. A small part of Wilhemina understands however, as she would have done the same thing, hide, keep the perfect smile and pretend like nothing is bothering her.

Wilhemina stands there for a moment, looking over your body exhausted from sickness, deciding on what to do, her rational side is telling her to take you to a doctor but there is no way she would trust them. The redhead woman had too many bad experiences before to trust them again, often mistreated with her back or prescripted the wrong medication and there is no way she would ever let her little one go through similar experiences. In the end, she decides on the only thing logical which is taking care of you herself, right at home. She balances on her cane again, trying to be quiet before walking into the kitchen to retrieve the necessary items.

The ruffling noises, mixed with cane tapping coming from the kitchen, as well as the cold unknown feeling on your forehead a little while ago, end up waking you up from your slumber, and instantly your body tenses up as you realize Wilhemina is home. In your slightly panicked state, overwhelmed with the thoughts on how to get out of this situation, ignoring the throbbing headache or the fact the room is spinning from the lack of food and water today, you once again fail to acknowledge what is right in front of you.

Right in front of you, stands Wilhemina, your girlfriend, a little tray in her hand, trying to balance it with the support of her cane and free hand, looking at you with a confused reaction, both about the fact you are awake and also the fact you are staring at the wall, not moving at all. ''Little one, you are awake'' she states, her voice sounding a little softer than usual. Instantly you snap out of it, panic once again rippling through your body as you fear her reaction, ignoring the fact she is standing in front of you with a little tray with water, soup, and medication.

Wilhemina notices you tensing, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling in her back that the carrying of the tray had caused her, she walks closer to the bed, putting the tray on the night table finally, before breathing out a moment as the uncomfortable feeling leaves her. She turns to you, her eyebrows furrowing again, the concern now very visible in her features, unable to hide it any longer and not caring about that, your wellbeing her main priority.

''Little one'' she states, her head tilting slightly and her eyes slowly locking with yours as you force yourself to take a look at your girlfriend. As soon as you take a look at the redhead, you feel partly relieved as there is no sign of anger visible but at the same time, you feel awful for the concern you had caused her, not to mention the back pain you must have caused her, considering her awkward posture, standing in front of you, still balancing both hands on her cane. Finally, as your eyes wander to the little tray, you feel like bursting into tears at the fact Wilhemina had done this for you, considering she must have just returned from work and you knowing how hard things like these are for her with her condition.

''Mina?'' your voice cracks not only from the feeling of knives in your throat as illness seems to have taken up most of your body but also tears building up, both guilty ones putting Wilhemina through the effort as well as sad ones that your walls are breaking down, right here in front of the woman you usually encourage to let her walls down and true emotions in.

''I'm here little one'' she whispers, her hand wandering to your cheek, cupping it gently and stroking it with the back of her palm. It doesn't take words to exchange what is on each other's mind, you feeling sorry for lying and pushing, realizing now that indeed your partner had been right from the start. And Wilhemina also feeling guilty for using such harsh words on you this morning and at the same time upset to see her girl in such distress and pain. As soon as you feel her palm on your cheek, some tears stream down your face as you try and contain the sobs and fight back the last few emotions and thoughts, keeping you from breaking right in front of her.

As soon as Wilhemina feels the tears falling, she catches them with her thumb, wiping them away gently before whispering ''Now don't cry sweet girl'' trying to hide her own emotions and the pain it brings her whenever seeing you upset. Whenever she would see you in any kind of distress or any negative emotion visible in your features it would cause her great pain, a different kind of feeling than her back could ever cause her, as her heart would ache, her only intention to make you smile again, especially in that dorky adorable way she loves and that causes for her heart to flutter, even though she wouldn't admit that to anyone, including you.

After wiping your tears, Wilhemina hands you some water and medication from the tray and you look at her with a slightly confused expression, as you haven't fully realized yet, it doesn't need words for Wilhemina to understand how awful you are feeling. ''Now take them little one, it will make you feel better'' she promises and without thinking twice you lead the tablets to your mouth, swallowing them with some water. The feeling of the cold liquid soothing your throat momentarily distracts you from the pain that you seem to feel all over your body. ''Good girl'' Wilhemina praises as you hand her the bottle, a little smirk rising on your features.

''Now I need you to eat this'' she demands, handing you the bowl of chicken noodle soup, that you usually love. You look at her with a slightly disgusted expression as the thought of food is only adding to the sick feeling in your stomach. ''I know but eat up for me, will you?'' she asks gently, not reminding you of the stern Wilhemina at all. All you can do in response is nod and take the bowl from her hands. ''I will be right back'' she explains, leaving you behind with your soup before walking out of the bedroom. For a moment you debate whether to just abandon the food again, as you genuinely don't feel like eating but there is no way you would let the woman you had fallen in love with, down a second time today.

You enjoy the silence for a moment, the only sounds to be heard, the spoon as it scoops up the liquid, feeling soothing in your throat but painful in your stomach at the same time. Shortly after the sound of a cane fills the room again and with each tap you somehow feel nervous, knowing the conversation was still to be held why you had lied to Wilhemina and not listened to her in the first place, only adding to the anxiety you feel. You see as the redhead walks in with a few towels and your favorite pajamas, that she would usually mock, too ''adorable'' for her liking, as you would usually put it.

''Have you had some?'' she asks and points at the soup and you simply nod while your eyes are begging her not to eat anymore. ''Fine, come on there is a bath waiting for you'' she informs you and you simply nod and slowly make your way out of bed. Midway to the bathroom, you realize how severe the nauseous feeling has been and you hold onto the wall to balance for a moment before you feel a hand on your back. ''I'm right by your side'' you hear Wilhemina's voice behind you and it sends a warm, comfortable fuzzy feeling through your body, reminding you that you aren't alone in this and that your girlfriend has got your back, literally.

You manage to find your way to the bathroom, with the support of Wilhemina's hand on your back and even though it takes you a while, you manage to sit in the bath and let the warm water soothe your skin and tired muscles. ''Do you think you will be okay in here for a bit?'' Wilhemina asks and you simply nod, feeling sleepy and relaxed at the same time. As your partner, walks back in the bedroom to prepare you for the night ahead and her own night which will probably result in no sleep and a lot of worrying over you, you sink a little further into the bath, confusing the bathtub with your own bed for a moment as you feel a little too comfortable.

''Little one are you-'' Wilhemina enters the bathroom, only to find you in the bath, asleep, your head resting on the purple little pillow she had bought a while ago and attached it to the bath. She frowns at the sight for a moment, before her features change as she realizes, this time she is going to have to wake you up, as there is no way her back condition will allow her to simply lift you out of the bath and carry you to bed, as much as she would like to do that. The usual strong woman fights some of her own tears back both at your state but also the painful reminder of her scoliosis.

Slowly you wake up, as you feel some water on your head and a hand washing out some shampoo, combined with a few muffled words that you can't quite understand yet, only just having woken up from your little slumber. ''Little one, wake up we have got to get you out of here'' you hear Mina's voice. You blink a few times, dumbfounded at the fact you are in the bath, not remembering much but feeling that your body is already feeling more relaxed than waking up earlier from your first slumber. ''Mina, what are you doing?'' you question as you realize she is bending awkwardly to wash your hair out and free it from the bubbles of shampoo. Quickly you sit up and free her from the uncomfortable position. ''Come on let's get you out'' she says and with all the strength you have left, you prop yourself up and exit the bath. Soon your skin comes into contact with a warm towel provided by Wilhemina.

You enjoy the feeling for a moment, before slowly getting changed into your pajamas and following your partner back to the bedroom. At this point, the medication has already freed you from most of your pain but your body still feels exhausted, so you quickly lie down in bed and pull the blanket closer, shivering slightly from the cool sensation of the air on your legs. Wilhemina returns to the bedroom, moments later in her purple nightgown, her hair falling loosely now and you admire your girlfriend for a moment, never quite able to believe how lucky you truly are and also always finding yourself taken back by her beauty, after years of being with each other.

The redhead approaches her side of the bed, book in hand as usual but for a change abandoning it on her night table, resting her cane in her usual spot, and carefully sitting down while leaning her back against the headboard of the bed. ''Come here'' she instructs, opening her arms and freeing her lap for you to rest your head in. Usually, she would do this after you had a long day at work, Wilhemina being able to tell instantly what an awful day you must have had and how it exhausted you both mentally and physically.

Reluctantly, you move your tired head onto her lap, still worried deep down about the conversation that is yet to be held and her true feelings about this. You had lied to her, hidden the truth from her and even though the redhead had often done the same, it felt different to you, like a betrayal. Your eyes close as soon as you feel her hands come into contact with your head, her fingers running through your hair gently and momentarily numbing the pain you are in. The smell of lavender sends you in a little dreamlike state as your partner just did a small evening routine instead of the usual, more bothered about making sure you are safe and feeling alright.

''Is that the hand cream?'' you mumble, starting to feel sleepy already as your whole body is ready to forget about today, the medication soothing your tired muscles and keeping your temperature at bay. ''It is little one'' Wilhemina whispers, smiling a little and relieved that you are still somewhat in a clear headspace as you remembered the lavender hand cream you had bought her before. She strokes your hair, untangling some knots gently with her fingertips as there was no time to brush your hair, the idea of the comfortable bed too convincing.

''Are you feeling alright, my darling?'' she asks, noticing how you are already on the verge of falling asleep. ''Hm Mh'' you mumble, as you slowly start falling asleep, despite trying to fight to stay awake to be in your partner's embrace and feel her safety and the warmth she radiates onto you, just a moment longer. She frowns, hating to see you pushing yourself so hard and her not being able to do anything about it, the state you are in now only the result of pushing yourself over the past few days.

''You need to stop being so hard on yourself and pushing'' she warns, knowing deep down you aren't fully aware of her words anymore as you fall into a slumber. ''I just want you to be safe and healthy'' she carries on, holding you in her arms, as if she was trying to shield you from the outside world and things that might be thrown across your way, including yourself. As soon as the redhead hears your little snores, she smiles a little, happy you are at least getting some more rest in her arms and at the same time glad, she is able to protect you now, knowing tomorrow is another day to come to have an actual conversation about this. She averts her gaze, and she is met with the mirror on the other side of the room, seeing you asleep on her lap and for a moment the woman, usually so hard on herself crumbles for a second as tears stream down her cheeks.

She remembers the moments in her younger years or even to this day, where she kept pushing and listening to her parents or the ugly voices in her head, telling her she isn't deserving to take breaks or look after herself. As she sees you safe and sound in her arms she can't help but feel gratitude, that you had walked into her life a while ago, knowing that you both have each other now. At this moment as she watches your tired body, chest rising and falling with each breath, she promises herself to never let you push this much again and to get you to take care of yourself, fully aware it won't be easy as she struggles with those things herself.

''Everything will be okay, I'm here little one you are safe'' she whispers, reassuring you again that you aren't alone in this and that she will be by your side. After watching you for a few seconds longer, she carefully reaches for her book, opening it and keeping herself occupied while she is determined to stay awake, not caring about sleep herself as she feels the need to stay with you and be there for you in case you wake up and need the redhead.

As she opens her book, now occupied by it, you are already asleep, your body slowly healing from today, both a mix of medication, rest but also the tender care, love, and affection Wilhemina has shown you since arriving back home and continues showing, as one of her hands is still rubbing soothing circles on your head, occasionally checking your forehead for a temperature.

[ivesambrose]

Yes, I'm back with another pick a card!

This was suggested to me an anon, so anon if you're reading this a big shout out to you :)

This is aimed at singles but know what? Take what you will.

Note: These images are from the deck apps I own on my phone. ❤️

Decks used are : housewives tarot, pagan cats tarot and tarot Mucha respectively.

Pick a card that you feel drawn to or reminds you of something significant.

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at jovescorpioreadings@gmail.com

1.

People only take and take don't they?

Till you have ran out of things to give but they still knock at your door looking for scraps. At this point you're just exhausted and closed the door tight.

You decided it's time for a change. A glow up, if you will? And why not? You deserve to look forward to a better fate. Not this. You're conserving energy or have been doing so for quite some time. You've been wishing and being patient but most of all I see you become some what unattainable? You're standards have gone up. Good for you!

I feel you've caught the eyes of an admirer or maybe several or that's soon to happen. Water, air, fire it seems. You're luminous, bewitching and a bit out of reach. I believe focused a lot on work mostly or building something for yourself, working out even? It's like you've reached the point of, "damn you know whose a full course meal? Me myself."  I also see you busy reading or writing? Listening to music. Honestly just chilling and studying even maybe. 

I think there are multiple people coming to you, one swiftly, other dying to reach out or coming in steadily. The one you choose would feel like a reflection of yourself whose beauty will stand out more instead of the flaws. This will be someone who looks up to you and is honestly really good looking? Not just that, they're exciting, artistic and really charming. I think you'll be flooded with affection soon but then again there's nothing than you can't give yourself you feel me?

To manifest, simply have a child like wonder to yourself and do as you please. Really do what makes you happy, learn something, sell something that brings you abundance, stay in that zone of high standard. I also see you assisting and Guiding people in some way? I feel whatever this love you desire is coming to you, its not something you have to chase or count calender dates for.

2. That betrayal would cut you deep or already has. You should have listened but it's okay, once the wound is exposed it makes it easier to heal.

It's alright, not the end of the world but the start of your growth. How else would you have learnt? No, you just sat there settling and convincing yourself that this is perfect, your bridge of light led by flowers and butterflies. But life will sometimes pick you away from your box and scream at you to stop equating convinience and companionship to and endgame.

But you know what? Now that you're here I see you either spending more time with or around animals. Buying something new for yourself (attire and accessories), maybe wanting a new look. Your intuition will peak, you'll see or dream of things you weren't aware of earlier.

Some of you are deliberately avoiding confronting a desire or emotion. It's right there but you're trying to escape it. This won't last long.

Also stop burying yourself in work. You need a balance. Mind, body and heart. Come on, no extremes right now. As for love? It's right there. In the most unexpected way, right there shimmering like a ball and you're just like, 'I pretend I do not see.' okay.. Why though?

How long are you going to doubt yourself to oblivion? I sense Earth and water placements? This person seems shy, but ambitious, a giver, very funny, very crackhead humour but talks like they've been alive for too long. They mean well though, super caring. Really pretty features but eyes seem either intense or dewy and dreamy. Might have a water moon or rising. Wiill happen at a time where you feel you're stuck in limbo or just dunno what's going on. Calm before the storm types.

Manifest through creative expression, art, writing and self love + self worth. You do deserve more. I'm not plaster this on your wall if you don't listen to me.

3. So... You know, you know you're connecting the dots right?

You know the two dots are connecting even though the entire chart looks like Peter Parker randomly shot webs everywhere and you're Nick Fury, done with literally everything so you're just being patient or just going on about your day and life.

See, your intuition and higher self / subconscious whatever you believe in already knows.

Either you're seeing it too, have an inner knowing about it and are actively trying to not confront it or just laughing at off cuz haha me? Grand things? Haha why?

Haha yes. That's why.

I think you question yourself a lot, "do I deserve someone spectacular like that? Shouldn't I just stay in my lane?" but still you're the type who rejects a lot of people. I believe you look for a sense of home in a person but still want to be left rather free?

Either this person coming in or you're thinking/trying to manifest seem a bit larger than life to you? Maybe out of your league? So you're either sticking with the one you're dating for now or just 'I'm gonna be the latest single MYSELF' or 'nah what you talking about I'm good.' or max to max, 'I dunno if we'll ever meet and be together so idk ha :)'

This love seems like the perfect balance for you in some way yet excites you and pulls you in at the same time so you are or would be unsure if this is your brain or hormones or feelings on maximum overdrive or it's something legit. That's perfectly fine, things will eitherway play out.

I see some of you fixated on a personal venture or project, tending to it and hoping it grows big? I see that some of you may want to look after their health and body too. I see fixation of skincare products too. I see research work for something as well? You tend to be a lot in your space when you work so the world around usually switches off. That's why you don't know what's around the corner for you and that could just be that one thing you've been waiting for.

I see a long time manifestion that is actually coming in NOW so suddenly you don't know what to do about it?

Honestly, chill. Take a bath. Bake something?

I feel whatever this is, is unavoidable and will manifest anyway.

This is the kind of love that grabs you by the hand and makes you dance even if you have two left feet. Brace yourself, know that it's here.

[caesthetix]

SAY A LITTLE PRAYER — Ep. What Paradise Is

↪Eren Yeager mini-series

↪content; major character death, canon universe, heavy angst, description of violence, established relationship, spoiler for season 4, alternate ending, manga spoiler

"You know, I can't help but thank Eren that he killed her that night."

Everyone was busy with themselves after Jean beat Reiner to a pulp. The rest of them who were still awake, circling the campfire, waiting for sleepiness to engulf them. But that sentence was enough to stop them from dozing off, some pairs of eyes decided to fall upon them instead.

Hange tried to be neutral all the time. They needed to be the mediator between the Marleyans and the rest of the Survey Corps. After all, they needed each other if they wanted to stop the rumbling. Yet they couldn't help but speak up, they were human too after all.

"Huh?" It was Connie. "What do you mean by that, H-Hange-san?"

They just smiled softly as they looked down, watching their own reflection from the brown liquid in their hand. It was your favourite drink, coffee. Every sip would always be savoured as they imagined you sitting right in front of them.

"But we could use her strength. If she lived, she could help us to sway Eren." Armin spoke up, responding to their statement before. His blue eyes staring at the crackling fire, deep in his thoughts. "When we lost her, we lost seventy-five percent of the chance for winning this without having to harm Eren."

"You tell me that is the reason why he killed her?" The scowl on Connie's face hardened as he tried to connect the dots. "So we can't use her against him, eh? What a coward at the end. That lunatic bastard—"

"She would have followed him."

Mikasa's voice was soft and tiny as she cut his sentence. Yet even though it heard like a whisper, everyone could hear what she said. They blinked in confusion, except Hange and Jean who currently stood a few feet from them, somehow understood. The Marleyan raised their eyebrows in confusion, Annie could not understand what they were all talking about.

The rest of them were begging for more information, but the ravenette didn't give them any.

"She would have followed him."

Instead, she repeated the words. Her friends would understand her sentence — if they decided to use their brains for a while. They all knew you, she didn't have to give any further explanation regarding her statement.

Of course, now they understood why Hange thanked Eren for what he did to you. Even if you were alive right now, you were not going to be here, eating stew and drinking coffee while fretting about how to stop your lover who tried to commit genocide to the whole world.

You were going to be there, by his side, with your swords ready to be pointed out to anyone who tried to stop and harm Eren in any way. You would stand there, devoting your heart not for humanity, but for him. That was how big your love was, something that was blinding you, to the extent of worshipping him.

And they couldn't imagine themselves to be the one who sears their blades at you.

"You never told us, Hange."

Jean's voice filled the void, his feet stomping the grass underneath him, echoing through the quiet night. "That night, you never told us what happened." He stood on the other side of the campfire, his tall body looming in front of them as they seated on the ground.

The brunette stared at the man with a stern gaze, contemplating if it was the right moment to tell them. But their time was limited now, as their friends, they all deserved to know what happened that night.

"Alright." They put the metal cup down their lap. "Though I remind you now, it wouldn't be pleasant but," It even felt so heavy for them, by just thinking about your death. "But it would be so — her."

The veteran scout told them everything. From how you stood in front of their door, the coffee that they shared with you, to the time you cried when they gave you the key so you could go inside his cell. They were sure that you went there to talk and asked for a reason, but they knew thirty minutes wouldn't be enough.

Jean felt bad for asking, as he could see how much the commander suffered from this burden. Hange's hand balled into a fist, the other gripping tight on the cup's handle. Yet they keep on going, telling them how they saw Eren wash his face as if his hands were not stained by his lover's blood.

They explained the bruises on your neck, shaped like fingers as an indicator of how you died.

"Fuck." Jean cursed, his eyes glistening with tears that were threatening to fall. "Fuck." He shouldn't have asked, but it was too late, he could see the horror in your eyes, how afraid you were that night, how you were screaming for help but no one came.

For you to die, and the one who was responsible was your lover, he couldn't imagine the betrayal on your—

"But you know what's funny?" Hange spoke up once again, they were not finished yet. Their comrades immediately looked at them once again, asking for them to continue.

They sipped their coffee, recalling the gleam in your eyes, the comfort that they remembered up until now. There was no terror, you were not afraid of him even in your last moment. "There was no sign of resistance."

And that fact was enough to wake them up.

"Even from the start, when Eren choked her, she just stood there, letting him do it." They chuckled, almost maniacal. "Her eyes still shone with comfort as she looked at him. I-I always figure her out, I understand a lot of things about her. But, but I can't with this one."

They stopped, groaning as once again your eyes were the only thing that they could see. "I don't know anymore if she really believed that he must have to kill her for a reason," His hand shook the cup gently, letting the liquid swirl inside. "Or she believed that he would stop and let her go, even until she's gone for real."

And that last sentence broke them all.

The Marleyan couldn't look at the broken soldiers in front of them. Gabi and Falco pursed their lips, trying so hard to sleep. Annie who was sitting beside the unconscious Reiner, now having her pupils dilated as she understood the story, and who would be the mysterious woman that made them distressed like this.

Connie was silent as he kept gulping down water down his throat. Armin closed his eyes, but he could see it so clearly, the faith in your orbs. Jean just chuckled bitterly, muttering stupid woman again and again as tears were cascading down his cheek.

Then, Mikasa, her lips trembled as she tried not to sob. But whimpers already slipped, her empty cup fell to the ground as she put her hands on her ears as she wanted to stop the noises in her head. You brought joy, even in her life, and to be reminded that you were killed by Eren nonetheless, tore her apart.

The rest of the night was filled with nothing but sorrow. Tears accompanied them all to their sleep, silent weeps and choked-out sobs could be heard here and there.

Hange could only stay put under the white cloth that works as their blanket, staring into the dark green of trees, then went beyond that to see the night blue skies which adorned with stars. They subconsciously raised their hand, as if they were reaching for someone.

“Tell me, Hange!”

They tried to understand him, they really did. When they closed your eyes as you laid on the infirmary bed, they knew that you would appreciate it if they tried to understand why he killed you. Down in the basement, they tried to bait him with your condition, blaming him for how they lost another comrade.

“If there’s another way, then tell me what it is!”

But they were not you, they couldn’t see it. They wanted a reason but all they got from the man was just subtle answers, pain, anger, and how what he did was something inevitable. They just knew that he suffered too from what he had done, so perhaps it was enough.

They just wished — they could understand you.

"Oh, (Y/n)." They sighed, finally letting the tears slip down their cheeks. No one else saw them, it was just their lonely soul and the craving for your existence. "I think I didn’t know you enough."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ༶•┈┈⛧┈〄┈⛧┈┈•༶ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

His vision was supposed to be filled with lights, dark blue lights that came from the coordinate. He used to know it all, see it all, what happened in the world as he activated the rumbling, he could hear all the screams from those people underneath him. Trampled by gigantic power, without given any mercy.

He couldn't remember when it stopped. The terror, his friends fighting him so they could stop his plan — suddenly all he saw was just a bright pinkish sky. It was as if he was laying down on one of the clouds, soft and free.

The breeze tickled his long hair, good that it just swayed his brown strands softly, but not good enough to give him comfort.

Comfort, oh, how much he longed for that word.

The past few days had been so hard as he kept on living to grant freedom to the Island of Paradis. He could not count how many of his comrades died, how many of his followers ended up not seeing that freedom, let alone all the lives that he took.

And now when he knew that he failed, he chuckled as the realisation dawned upon him. After all these years — he was still the same useless boy.

"Eren."

He sat up in an instant. Dark green eyes searching for the source of where it came from. Surely he was not hallucinating, but that was a possibility. He didn't even know what this place, let alone believing that it was her voice.

"Hey, Eren."

But it was indeed your voice. No matter how many days or weeks passed after some time he had to part with you, he could always recognise that voice anywhere. Gentle, warm, and comforting, it felt like he was so close to heaven.

"You are here."

Then he felt it. He felt you. He looked down on his torso, finding two arms wrapped around him from behind. It felt so right as his hand slowly covered yours, testing it in case it was all in his head. But he could touch, he could trace his finger on the back of your hand.

He laughed, just a short one as he still processed what kind of magic existed in this place. You rested your chin on his shoulder, planting a peck on his cheek without warning that caused him to blush a hundred shades of red.

"(Y/n)?" He called out your name. "Are you real?" You only answered with a single hum. "How come are you real? Where is this place? Why am I here? I am not supposed to be here, I needed to finish the plan, Ymir is—"

You shut him up by placing your finger in front of his lips.

"You are free, Eren."

Silence. He could not understand that. Did it mean that he already died? But if that was the truth, why did he even feel more alive now compared to all those years that he spent before?

You slowly retracted your finger, pulling yourself from his embrace as gently as possible. Eren was still deep in thought, hands falling to the cloud-like ground he was sitting on right now. You stood up and walked in front of him, bare feet were now within his eyesight.

He could touch you before, and it didn’t feel like he was hallucinating. He felt your kiss before, and it made him sure that it was real. Bewildered, he looked up only to find you looking forward. Even though he felt that he was finally free, he was still curious about what happened in this moment.

"What is this place?" He asked again, now a lot calmer than before as he gazed at your face which showed nothing but peace.

"A transit." You started, eyes never leaving the glowing sight in front of you. "A place where you are finally free, but still misplaced since it was not the last destination where you should go." He hummed, processing your words that still felt unreal.

"Then why are you here?" All this afterlife thing was so foreign for him. "Why don't you leave and go to your last destination?"

"Oh, boy, you really asking me that?" You chuckled softly, snickering as if that was the dumbest question that you ever heard. Your eyes finally cast down to face him, and when he still looked so confused, you could only let out a sigh. "Because I am waiting for you, Eren."

You smiled wistfully, extending your hand for him to take. "What else could it be at this point?" He took it as he nodded at your answer. You helped him up, letting him stand by himself. And now as he looked around the endless clouds, he could finally embrace the fact that he was indeed — dead.

Anywhere he looked, he could only find the soft, white clouds refreshing the air. The colour was tinted orange as the sun in front of him shone like it would set anytime soon. But it had been perhaps minutes by now, and yet the colour never changed.

If he was finally here to feel his freedom, then he would take it. The world where he lived before was not his responsibility anymore. His friends had won, and it was not his place to ask for what happened next. Yes, he was ready to be free. But as he looked at you, he still had one, unanswered question that he needed to know.

"Hey, (Y/n)." He cleared his throat, melancholy striking his feature as your gaze met with his.

"Yes, Eren?"

How come you are here on his side? Why did you stay in this place alone just to wait for him? He killed you, why are you not running away? There was so much, so many questions that he never dared to ask you. But one, he needed to know the answer to this one question.

"Why don't you fight back when I try to kill you?"

You didn't flinch, you stood there with a neutral expression as if he just asked you if you had eaten before.

"Truthfully, Eren? I always thought that you were just trying to make me hate you. Looking at me with those cold eyes, tightening your grip like that." Your finger subconsciously went to your neck. "At first, I thought you were going to let me go at some point."

He could feel a lump start forming in his throat as he listened, tears were threatening to fall already. That was what you felt that night, you didn’t want to die. Of course, who in the right mind wanted to die? Let alone killed by someone that you loved.

"But as seconds passed and you were not loosening the grip, I understood." Then you continued, your hand now fell back to your side. Though, you still looked at him with earnestness written all over your face. "I understand that you had to kill me for a reason, that you knew it was for the best."

His breath hitched at your statement; which was supposed to make him feel guilty, to make him feel like he was not worthy of your faith. But with how there was no ill will nor sadness in your intonation, he couldn't feel any other feelings except — relief.

"So I believed in you, and I wanted you to know until the end that wherever I go next, I will always devote my heart to you."

You said it without doubt, as if you have been saying the same thing over and over again throughout your life. Yet somehow he could know that it was the truth. Perhaps you said that inside your heart for all the times that you spent with him.

While you still alive, you have put your faith in him, following him anywhere he goes. No one could sway your belief, you were devoted solely just to him. You praised his name, never leaving his side under any circumstances.

And he realised — that was the way you said you loved him.

So now, it was his time to do the same, to believe in you.

"Come on, Eren." You dusted the non-existent wrinkles on your clothes before extending your hand for him to take, a smile never leaving your face as you waited for him patiently. "Let's go home."

And without wasting another second, without any hesitation, he reached for your hand. The smile on your face widened at this, and the wind suddenly twirled around the two of you. He didn't know where home was, he didn't know where you would take him.

But as you started to walk in the direction of the sun, he followed. His eyes looked forward, dark green eyes turned into the emerald shade that was gone before. It was so beautiful, how he walked above the clouds, with your hand around his, guiding him to a new place called home.

Your laugh resonated in his ears as he caught up with you, gripping your hand tighter, afraid that he would lose you if he loosened up. Yet somehow he knew that he wouldn't have to be scared anymore.

Now he was finally free. From the burden on his shoulders, from the duty that was thrown at him by his ancestors, from the endless nightmare that he saw on each vision — it was all gone. And as his gaze fleeted toward your running form, he blinked in astonishment.

He saw you, a younger self of you perhaps, maybe when you were nine or ten. You looked beautiful, even with your hair slightly shorter, with chubby, adorable cheeks. Then you turned to face him, and he saw those glossy beads filled with purity.

And inside those, he saw a reflection. Of a boy not older than ten years old, with a brown outer and a sage green shirt, holding on to someone. Oh, it was him. He looked so free as he ran side by side with you, he looked so free with you leading him to his new home.

Laughter filled the air that surrounded you and him; high-pitched, carefree laughter that people would hear when children ran around the street to catch one another. That happy laugh slipped from both of your lips.

He held your hand tighter, not because he was afraid to lose you, but so he could feel your love even more. He ran with you faster, now becoming the one who followed you as he believed that you were going to take him somewhere, to the last destination.

A place where he could finally be free.

With you.

↪Back to Wall Maria

↪Citizen; @queenofcurse

↪Send an ask if you want to be a citizen of Paradis (taglist)!

[angelicimagines]

Hey Mod Shuichi! Could I request Chihiro, Yuta, Tsumugi, and Chiaki with a cuddly S/O who starts crying when they’re given affection because they’re touch starved? I saw a similar request you did and I really enjoyed it!

Hey there @chihiro-comfort-imagines, of course you may. This ask is very cute by the way, thanks for requesting. Touch-starved gang rise up! -Mod Shuichi

Chihiro Fujisaki, Yuta Asahina, Tsumugi Shirogane, and Chiaki Nanami with a S/O who gets emotional when given affection.

Chihiro Fujisaki💻

💻 Nervous boy, nervous. Be patient with him, he's not used to much positive affection from people apart from his family. 💻 Please, hug him while he's overworking himself, remind him to take care of himself. 💻 Melts, literally. Congrats you have discovered Fujisaki putty, do what you will with this information (read as: love him). 💻 He knows he's small and weak and all that jazz, but he is determined to gather up the courage to give you affection first, he wants to protect you and this is a step in the right direction. 💻 After much thinking aka Mondo, Taka, and Leon pestering him about doing it, he decided to give you an unprompted hug and some head scratches (cuz nobody is immune to those fight me on this). 💻 Poor boy didn't know what was about to go down. He wasn't emotionally prepared to feel some wetness near his back and your body shaking with what he assumed where sobs. 💻 Ok so that didn't work, he's panicking now. In a brilliant moment of action association, he backed away like he had been burned. 💻 Was racking his brain on what to do because no amount of Wikihow articles could prepare him for this. Luckily, he wasn't completely out of ideas. 💻 Bless Taichi for giving him the idea. He mimicked what his father had always done when he wa distressed and hugged you again while tracing random patterns on your back. 💻 Oh hey that worked! Now to why you were crying…oh right he' d never done this before, it was probably too much for you. 💻 Well now he just feels bad. Might start crying with you a bit,but he'll power through. 💻 After the reveal, new arrangements were made. Now you have a hug quota that you will get every day or so help him. 💻 It takes a while, since he is also a bit overwhelmed by affection, but over time both of you get used to it 💻 During one of your daily hug quotas he'd reveal that he would give you all the affection it took to make you feel loved <3

Yuta Asahina👟

👟 How are you still hydrated with this man, he will always return your affection tenfold. It's the Asahina genes in him. 👟 You are probably not that touch starved with him as your partner, but that makes my job useless so touch starved you are for the sake of content. 👟 Yuta was a pretty affectionate person, but sometimes circumstances prevented that from happening. 👟 And so that's how you found yourself 5 hours away from your boyfriend. Her sister was participating in a swimming tournament and he went to support her. You couldn't make it (plus it was the first time you'd meet his sister face to face and the thought alone scared you), so yeah. 👟 Aoi was confused, since you were basically the only topic Yuta talked about nowadays and she was just dying to finally meet you; but nothing could top Yuta's reaction. 👟 Boy went through the 5 stages of grief and then some. He acted like he was on withdrawal from candy or something, he craved your touch 25/8 and was just…mopey. 👟 So that's how the idea entered his head. As soon as he laid eyes on you, he would make up for all of the S/O cuddles he missed while he was away. 👟 R.I.P your tear ducts ayyy. Nothing could've prepared you for the absolute love storm you were about to experience. Man's literally jumped on you and began attacking you with kisses and hugs and any other form of affection you can think of. 👟 Bursting into tears in the middle of an airport was not your proudest moment, but hey, you got your Yuta cuddles so who cares. 👟 UnLuckily for you, he didn't comment on your sudden pity party, instead he shushed your cries and wiped your tears away. 👟 He might not like math, but he figured sad S/O + love and affection = happy S/O. Quick maths. 👟 Would you look at that, he was right! Without your usual dose of cuddles you resorted back to not knowing what human touch is. 👟 Don't worry, it's a quick fix with Yuta. By quick fix, I mean you now have a koala stuck to your body literally all the time. 👟 What can I say, he is a man of his word. Says he wants to help you return to your normal cuddle amount, but Aoi ratted him out. He was just as touch starved as you. 👟 There's nothing better than two touch starved dumbasses experiencing affection, together <3

Tsumugi Shirogane🧵

🧵 Girl loves how affectionate you are, makes her feel special and not plain. 🧵 Also inspire her to make cosplays sometimes (when this happens I advice you run, she gets very involved in her work). 🧵 She hesitates before giving you any type of affection, what if she's too plain, what if she starts rambling about anime and you get tired of her, what if– 🧵 "No, Tsumugi, they do so much for you, return the damm favour, love them." And with this little pep talk she is on her way to find you and love the soul out of you. 🧵 She hides her intentions behind a simple date, a fun movie night critiquing the main pairing for being oblivious idiots. 🧵 During the movie, she got more affectionate, things like holding your hand for longer than usual and resting her head on your shoulder during the romantic parts. 🧵 She reasons that by being affectionate with you, especially during the more romantic parts of the movie. she symbolizes how much she loves you and that she does care about you. 🧵 Your poker face is working itself to the bone while your heart is going a thousand a minute. That might be the excitement or a heart attack, you can't tell. 🧵 Little did you know, this was only the beginning. Tsumugi was determined to end the date on her own little special note. 🧵 On the way home, she insisted y'all walked by the sakura trees nearby. It was a beautiful sight, the petals of the trees falling around you as she initiated a very sweet goodbye kiss. 🧵 That's right, she initiated the kiss this time. And that was your cue to start the waterworks. 🧵 When she pulled away she heard your sobs and saw your tears and panicked. Was it too much, did she screw it up? Oh she shouldn't have listened to that anime, now you're crying because of her and– 🧵 You sob out various I love you's and hug her tight, effectively confusing your cosplayer girlfriend. 🧵 Oh, oh. You're touch-starved, that's what's happening. She smiles to herself and giggles at her panic earlier as she returns the hug and wipes your tears away. 🧵 She can get used to this, she'll patch up the missing affection with a lot of love…and anime references <3

Chiaki Nanami🎮

🎮 She doesn't mind your cuddles, in fact she loves them! You probably can't tell but she's touch starved as well, she just doesn't know it yet. 🎮 You tend to cling to her while she's gaming, holding her and laying your head on her shoulder while she's trying to beat whatever pesky boss is preventing her from beating the game. 🎮 She subconsciously snuggles closer to you from time to time, to show she still cares. 🎮 She knows she tends to lose herself to her games a lot and that could cause you to feel like you're the only one pulling their weight in the relationship... 🎮 So she devised a master plan. The next time you give her any type of affection, she'll return it and then some. 🎮 She was dedicated to let you know how much she loved you, so she was ready to use every weapon in her arsenal. Also known as your downfall. 🎮 And so that's how you found yourself in eachothers arms while she kissed every inch of your face. 🎮 She thought she was doing great......until you started sobbing into her shoulder. Ok now she's worried, did she wait too long, did she do something wrong, why were you crying? 🎮 You started babbling about how much you love her and how long you had been waiting for this. Oh, so that's what happening. 🎮 She feels a bit guilty that she hadn't done this sooner, but that just means she can make up for the lost time by giving you even more affection. 🎮 Your eyes are cosplaying waterfalls hon, you're probably dehydrated by now. 🎮 The fact you get that emotional just because of something as simple as a hug worries her, who hurt you? 🎮 In all of her greatness, she devices a new plan. She'll give you as much affection as she can to make you connect her affection with routine. You won't be touch starved on her watch, not on her watch! 🎮 Cut to you getting overwhelmed the first 50 times. Over time, all you do is that deep breath people do when they're feeling extremely loved. 🎮 She realizes that this is what you both needed, after all they say love is the best healing potion <3

[nationalharryleague]

Overnight

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Genre: AU, Angst, lil bit of fluff, best friends to enemies to lovers

Word count: 3.3k!

A/N: Hi! I don’t think I’ve ever posted a fic on this blog before and I haven’t really written in about five years, so please be nice!! I’m very nervous and I would love some feedback if you have any :) Also, this is loosely based on Overnight by Maggie Rogers (it’s a wonderful song, give it a listen) Thank you so much for reading!! More of my writing can be found here! 

You would have known that voice anywhere. It was smooth and deep and laced with the most perfect accent that you had ever heard. His voice penetrated the crowd of the bar and found its way to you, like he was speaking only for you. He sounded like music to your ears, but that of a song that hung heavy in your heart.

You clenched your hands tight around the glass that held your whiskey, the uncomfortable feeling of knowing he was here invading your thoughts. You wanted to run and you quickly gulped the rest of your drink. The back of your throat burned from the alcohol as you reached for your coat that had accompanied you and your friends in the booth. A curt “I have to go,” left your lips as you made a b-line for the door, needing to escape the bar that felt so small and suffocating all of a sudden.

You didn’t mean to look over your shoulder. It was a subconscious need to get one good look at him before you escaped that took over your body. He had been talking to a pretty girl, but his eyes looked over her shoulder and they locked with yours. It felt like you knew those eyes in a different lifetime; everything was so different now. Those eyes lit up when he registered your face, quickly excusing himself from the girl and beginning to move towards you.

You panicked as you realized he was coming near, fighting your way through bodies towards the exit. As you felt the shockingly cold air of a New York City winter hit your skin, you also sensed a familiar hand grab yours. It was warm. He had always been so warm. You could barely make out the rings that sat on his fingers, but you could see them so clearly in your mind. The mix of gold and silver jewelry that you had played with when it was the only thing either of you had on was burned into your brain. You ripped yourself away from those happy memories and your hand from his.

“You are not allowed to touch me anymore,” you attempted to shout, but it came out as a whimper. It was like as soon as your eyes connected, he stole all of your power.

“Y/N, please,” he breathed. “I just need to talk to you.” His eyes looked desperate and a small part of you felt triumphant. Your prayers that he missed you had come true but the tidal wave of emotions you were feeling dimmed any joy you could have felt.

“Harry, you made it very obvious that I didn’t fit into your life,” you hissed. “You’ve done enough talking to make it crystal clear that I was just a fuck to you.” Tears began to sting your eyes but you forced yourself to swallow them away. He didn’t get to see you cry over him.

“You know that’s not true. You were my best friend.” Your heart hurt with his use of the past tense, but was true. You hadn’t been best friends for a while.

“Best friends don’t lead best friends on while fucking other people.”

***

The night was warm and the air was balmy. The humidity hung around you on the front stoop while a party raged inside. The alcohol coursing through your veins had heated your body temperature and you found yourself sitting on the steps, trying to escape the heat.

A hand rested on your shoulder and you turned to see who it belonged to. A metallic glimpse of gold and silver rings signaled for you to let down your defenses, relaxing your muscles that were getting ready to run. A grin fell across your lips as you looked up to the owner of the rings.

“Hey,” you beamed. You couldn’t censor your adoration for the man in your altered state. You loved him and anyone paying attention could see it.

“Hey you,” he answered, sitting down on the front steps next to you. “How are you doing, my love?” The way he said ‘love’ made your cheeks heat further. He had called you ‘love’ since you had met in college, a hold over from growing up in England that had stuck years after graduation. The term of endearment had only been a sign of friendship to you until you began sleeping together a few months earlier. You had both agreed to a strictly platonic friends with benefits situation, but like in every movie written as a cautionary tale, you had quickly fallen for him. You were hopeful he felt the same about you. He was so affectionate and loving, you assumed that he was just waiting for the right time.

“I’m a little too drunk,” you said with a hiccup and a giggle. “I think you have to take care of me,” you murmured as you began to feel dizzy.

“I will,” he assured. “You stay here. I’ll be back in a little bit and we’ll get you home, okay?” He pressed a familiar kiss to your head as he got up, disappearing back into the party.

You didn’t think much of him reentering the brownstone. You played on your phone and only decided to go look for him after a sweaty stranger plopped himself down next to you on the steps and began hitting on you. You didn’t want anyone else, just Harry. You scanned everyone inside, scaling the stairs as you continued searching for the floppy hair that you thought looked sexy pushed back. You giggled to yourself as you thought about how there was a Mean Girls joke to be made, but your face and heart dropped as you heard a familiar groan through the door at the top of the stairs. Your suspicions were confirmed as you heard a woman moan “Harry” at the top of her lungs.

You slammed the door open. He was on top of her, his muscular back shining with sweat in the light of the now open door and littered with scratch marks. He turned and looked back to tell whoever opened the door to get out, but paused when he saw your heartbroken face. “Oh my god,” he whispered, quickly moving off of her and covering himself up.

Your eyes began to fill with tears and blur your vision, but not before you realized you knew the girl in the bed. Her name was Grace and you had introduced the two earlier in the night. It clicked in your head. He left you on the porch when you needed him to go fuck your friend.

“I need to go,” you stammered, turning around and running from what you just saw. You held tight to the handrail, trying not to fall down the stairs because of your tear filled eyes and intoxication. Harry chased you down the stairs after you, ready to catch your wobbly body if you were to lose your balance.

“Y/N,” he shouted at you. “Talk to me!”

Once you were on the sidewalk, you whipped around to face him. The pain in your chest had been masked by explosive anger. “How fucking dense are you, Harry? Are you fucking blind?”

“What are you talking about?” he shouted back. His button up was thrown haphazardly over his shoulders, his stomach fully exposed. You tried your best to focus and not let his butterfly cast its’ usual spell over you.

“I’m in love with you, Harry!” you screamed. It was the most obvious thing in the world for you. You couldn’t understand how he could sleep with someone else, especially while you were patiently waiting for him. He stood there quietly, chest still rising and falling rapidly. “I have made it so obvious. You are the center of my world. I drop everything for you at a moment’s notice.”

“We always said this was just sex, Y/N.” He spoke firmly, but you knew him well enough to hear the pang of guilt in his voice. “I didn’t mean for you to get that idea. I was never interested in anything romantically with you.”

“Then why do you call me pet names? Why do you always stay over after we hook up? Why do you hold me all night long? Why do you act like you’re my boyfriend?” you peppered him with rapid questions as you cried. The salty taste in your mouth signaled that the angry tears were now streaming down your face. “And even if it was just platonic and you never meant to give me that idea, you go and fuck my friend? That I introduced you to two hours ago? While I’m drunk and need you?”

His face fell and guilt coated his features. He tried to follow you down the sidewalk as you walked away from the brownstone and you nearly slapped him across the face. He looked down at the ground pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration while feeling the shame you hoped he would.

“I’ll get myself home,” you spat. “Do not call me. I don’t want to talk to you.”

***

It had been eight months since you had seen him last and seeing him at the bar knocked the air out of you. You couldn’t get the image of him out of your head. Every time you closed your eyes, he stared back at you.

He had changed since you last saw him. He had a short beard, got a few more tattoos, and grew his hair out. His curls had returned and you couldn’t help but want to touch them. You missed looking at him. You missed everything about him.

Your phone buzzed on the coffee table in front of you and a picture of Harry from years ago with space buns in his hair lit up the screen. You remembered that night; it was one of the happiest times of your life. Most of your happiest memories involve him somehow.

You had unblocked his number after you saw him at the bar a few nights ago and you weren’t sure why. You picked up the phone and debated if you wanted to answer it. You braced yourself and swiped a finger across the screen, bringing the phone to your ear.

“Hello?” you squeaked out.

“Oh my god... hi Y/N,” he sounded surprised.

“Hi…” you drifted off.

“Um… I’m not sure what to say. I call a lot and you never pick up,” he confessed. “I don’t really have anything to tell you. I wasn’t expecting to get to talk to you.” You stayed silent, waiting for him to say something you could answer. “Um, can we meet up?” he choked out.

“I’ll be at our spot in an hour.”

True to your word, you were there within the hour. You were both sitting on your bench in Washington Square Park. If you looked close, you could still make out the tiny letters of ‘H+Y/N’ surrounded by a heart in the wood. You had carved it on a drunken night out during college when you both had gotten lost trying to find the way back to one of your apartments’. You rubbed your gloved fingers over it, trying to remind yourself why you were attempting to forgive him. You wanted your Harry back.

“I told myself everyday that I would eventually lose those feelings for you and we could just be friends again,” you mumbled, wanting to sink down into your coat and refusing to look at him in the eye. You knew that you wouldn’t be able to resist those eyes; you loved them too much. “But I spent months hoping you would realize how much I loved you one day, and that you would love me too.” Your voice was low and your cheeks were bright red from the cold, but mostly embarrassment. You were out of practice being vulnerable with him.

“Can you please look at me?” he asked, lifting your chin so your eyes would meet his. His fingers were so soft on your skin and you felt the cool metal of his rings. You recalled how they felt on the rest of your body and yearned to be close to him again. “Stop crying over me, my love.” He moved to wipe the tears off your face and you leaned into his hand at the sound of his old pet name for you.

“I have cried over you for so long,” you forced out the sentence, feeling so pathetic. “It feels natural at this point.” You watched his face twinge with remorse. He knew he caused all of this pain because of his own stupidity. He pulled you into his body, curling around you in an attempt to protect you after all he had done was hurt.

“I’m so sorry for what I did to you,” he sighed. He had never apologized before, and hearing him show remorse made a more few tears slip down your face. “I was careless and didn’t pay close enough attention to how you were feeling. I should have been able to pick up every signal you sent me.”

“I agree,” you choked on a laugh through tears. He was quiet for a moment. You heard him take a breath to begin speaking again but you cut him off. “Why did you do it?” you questioned him. “We could have gone back to my apartment and you could have slept with me.”

“Because I was so afraid of how I felt about you,” he conceded after a long pause. “You were not the only one with feelings, Y/N.”

You were stunned. It had never crossed your mind that he might have felt the same way after how he treated you that night. You pulled away from his body to search his eyes for any hint of deceit, but he was telling you the truth. You breathed out a soft ‘oh,’ and attempted to process this new information.

“I don’t understand.”

“If you were so angry with me that you broke off our arrangement, I hoped that I could push everything down and just go back to the way things were before,” he explained. “When you confessed your feelings, I panicked. I should have come clean, but I didn’t and I broke your trust in more ways than one. I have called you nearly everyday since, trying to explain myself and take back everything I said, but you were shut off to me, rightfully so. I’m not asking for everything to go back to where we were, I’m just asking for your forgiveness. I can’t leave with us like this.”

And finally the picture for you was complete. You understood that night; the full motivations behind events that ruined you for over half a year.  For the first time since that night, you felt at peace. You weren’t worried that he never wanted to be with you, or angry that he had slept with Grace, or anxious that he would be out of your life forever. You felt the anger and resentment that had made itself home inside of you begin to melt away. You felt lighter.

“You have it.”

***

His eyes sparkled in spring’s late afternoon sunlight that was streaming through the coffee shop’s window. They peaked out from over his mug as he took a sip of his coffee, black with a single sugar, and you watched his movements carefully. You tried to take in as much of this time as you could, trying to create good memories to make up for the time you had lost.

It had been a few weeks since Harry had reentered your life and you had spent so much time together, sometimes it felt like you had never strayed from each other’s side. You hadn’t picked up where you had left off. You had decided to stay friends for the time being, agreeing it wasn’t the right time for a relationship, although you both wanted to be more. It was happier and healthier for both of you with everything life was throwing at you.

“What are you thinking?” he smirked. “You have your thinking face on.”

“That I missed this,” you confessed, bringing your own cup to your lips. You had missed everything about the time you spent with one another. You had been best friends for a reason.

“I never want it to end,” he remarked.

You sat in the coffee shop until the workers were cleaning up around you, talking about everything and anything under the sun. He had walked you home to your apartment, hand-in-hand, unable to say goodbye just yet. As you reached your front door, Harry reached for you and pulled you into a warm hug. You reached your arms around him and felt your sore muscles from helping him move out of his apartment the day before. You rested your head on his chest and just stood there for a moment. You both knew what was coming when you eventually pulled away.  

“I don’t want to leave you,” he exhaled into your hair.

“We’ll be okay,” you assured him. “We can make it through anything, right?” you asked, not sure if you were directing the question towards him or yourself.

Harry had been offered his dream job while you weren’t speaking. You were so proud of him when you found out, even if it was in London. The job was why he was so adamant about making up. He refused to leave New York until you were on speaking terms, afraid if he left, the two of you would be done forever.

You felt him begin to pull away after he checked his watch, knowing he needed to leave for the airport soon. You fought off the lump in your throat and steeled yourself so you wouldn’t cry. This was so good for him and you refused to make him feel guilty for taking this opportunity.

“I love you and I’m going to miss you so much,” he spoke as he held your face in his hands, eyes boring into yours. The love between you didn’t need to be classified as romantic or platonic anymore, it was just love.

Your heart broke as you said your goodbyes and watched him walk down your hallway. You made sure you watched until he turned a corner and you couldn’t see him any longer, making sure he was safe for as long as you could. You closed your apartment door behind you and fought off tears. You had faith in your relationship and knew you would make it.

As you moved to lay on your couch and cry it out, you heard a knock of your door. You knew that knock anywhere. You ran to the door and as you opened it, you felt Harry’s lips connect with yours. This kiss wasn’t lustful like ones you had shared in the past, just full of love and adoration for the other. He held you sweetly and your mind tried to memorize everything about this moment.  You stood there, tangled together, for several minutes, staying connected in the way you had never been before.

“I couldn’t leave without getting one last kiss,” he admitted when you both came up for air.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” you beamed back at him.

You didn’t know what was next for you both, but you knew you had a future. You had been apart before, and you had always found your way back to each other. You had no doubts that you would again.

[downondilaudid]

Not Just a Genius

This is a third part to Anatomy Lesson, second part to Secret Sex Buddy.

Requested: Yes

Prompts: None

Word Count: 5.2K

Warnings: Smut of course

“Never hide things from hardcore thinkers. They get more aggravated, more provoked by confusion than the most painful truths.”

― Criss Jami

You walked into work, your steps slightly slower than usual. You and Spencer had, let's call it a late night. Spencer had spent the night but took his own car to work to not raise any suspicion. You had arrived first, actually early for once, you assumed Spencer had stopped to get coffee. He had woken you up early this morning, horny as hell, forcing you to give him a blowjob, after that neither of you could go to sleep. You pulled out your phone getting ready to send him a text. 

Y/N: You better be bringing me some coffee. 

You stuffed your phone into your back pocket. “Gasp, is the one and only Y/N Y/L walking like she had some hot sexy time last night?” A voice teased from behind you. 

You let out a mix between a laugh and a scoff, “really, Pen?” 

She giggled, “oh please, you don’t need to be a profiler to tell you had a good time. So, who is this sex genius, do we know him?”

That’s one way to put it, you thought to yourself. You set your stuff down at your desk, Penelope hovering over you like a bee. 

“Don’t worry about it, Pen. You don’t know him.” You answered.

“Know who?” Another voice chimed in. 

You turned, seeing Spencer walk over to your desk, a drink carrier filled with two coffees in his hand. Before you could answer, Garcia took the opportunity to poke more fun at you. 

“Y/N’s supposed sex genius she was with last night. No girl walks like that unless she’s had a wild night.”

“Garcia!” You groaned out, running your hands over your face. 

“Oh, please, it’s only Spencer!” She laughed, before patting you on the head and bouncing off to her computer room. 

Spencer watched Garcia walk away, before turning back to you, “sex genius, huh?” He questioned, a smirk on his face.

“Her words, not mine.” You teased, grabbing your coffee from the carrier, taking a sip of the warm liquid.

Spencer rested his hand on your desk, leaning over you slightly, “hmm, so you don’t think I’m a sex genius, sweetheart?” His voice was low and teasing, a beautiful sound to hear in the morning. 

“I-uh, Spencer we’re at work!” 

“Please, baby? I really need you.” Spencer whined.

You rolled your eyes, turning in your chair so you were facing him directly, “go take care of yourself in the bathroom.” 

Spencer leaned in closer, his plump lip catching on his teeth, “please, sweetheart. Just suck me off real quick, we can go down to the file room. Remember last time we were there?” He leaned in once more so his lips were next to your ear, his next words came out in a low whisper, “you had such a hard time keeping quiet for me.” He brought his hand up, running it over your bottom lip. “I need you, baby.” 

Ugh, he knew exactly what buttons to push, he knew exactly what to do to get you to break. Luckily, your brain overpowered your body, and you pushed him back lightly, “no, Spence. We’re at work, you can fuck me later. Garcia’s already suspicious, and JJ already knows.” 

Spencer groaned lightly, he knew you were right, he was just too horny to accept it. 

Turns out Spencer would have to wait a while, you had a case. A case that took place in Austin, Texas, three men had turned up dead, all with the same M.O.

You took a step back, a finger placed against your chin in concentration. You and JJ were putting together a victim board, and so far you could only tell that these three men were all very openly gay. 

“They were all taken from different gay bars, the only connection is that they’re gay.” You stated.

“We’ll see what Garcia can find about their lives. It’s not against their sexuality. All unnecessary  wounds were done post-mortem, they either didn’t want to hurt them or are trying to make some sort of statement.” Hotch deciphered. 

You nodded along. 

You were talking to one of the officers, who, unfortunately, was being extremely unprofessional. He was making sexual jokes left and right, alluding to how “good he’d bet you’d be in bed.” It was revolting, you didn’t even know this man. 

“You’re sure this is all the gay bars in the area?” You questioned, pointing to a list of bars he had handed you. 

“That I know of, babydoll. Granted, I’m not gay.” He stated, adding a wink to the end of his statement. 

You cringed, trying your best to keep up a professional act, “alright, thank you.” 

He smirked at you, nodding his head, “anytime, doll, and I do mean anytime.”

You turned away rolling your eyes as you brought the list to Hotch, this case better be over quickly, you thought. 

Apparently, luck was on your side, the case had ended quickly. Apparently, a man had been frequenting these bars, picking out the most flamboyant men, killing them for media attention to bring awareness of the struggles the LGBTQ+ community goes through. His brother had recently taken his own life, due to avid bullying from his peers because of his homosexuality. 

The case was overall disturbing, and you couldn’t wait to get to the hotel and take a nice warm bath. 

You were clad in a towel, waiting for the bath to fill up, when a knock sounded through the room. You let out a sigh, praying that this conversation wouldn’t take away your warm bath. 

You peeked through the peephole, you could only see a torso, clad in a blazer, button-down shirt, and a tie. You unlocked the door, pulling it open to peek your head out. 

“What do you want, Spence? It’s late” 

He placed his hand against the door, pushing it open and slipping in. His eyes were dark, and filled with desire. “I saw that officer flirting with you earlier.” 

You groaned, “everyone did. It was so obvious.” Your hand tightened the towel on your body, walking into the bathroom to turn off the running faucet. You leaned over the side of the tub, your towel riding up your thighs.

Spencer hummed in approval behind you, one of his hands brushing gently up your thigh. “Why didn’t you stop him if it was so obvious?”

“I was trying to be professional, Spencer. A lot of women get hit on, we just choose to brush it off.” You reasoned. A yelp escaped your mouth when a hand yanked on your hair, the towel falling from your body onto the side of the tub. Spencer pulled you up, his clothed hips rocking into your bare ass. 

“Spencer” you sighed breathily, squirming lightly in his grip. 

He ignored you, his hands grabbing your elbows to pull you harder against him as he ground into you. “You know you’re mine, right?”

You nodded meekly, pressing your ass back against his crotch. “Please, just do something, Spence.” 

“I want to hear you say it, say you’re mine.” He whispered. Despite the two of you being unofficial, you were unofficially official. This was his way of letting you know, communicating through rough kisses and late nights, that the two of you were indeed exclusive. 

“I’m yours” you muttered, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt him pepper kisses over your neck, working his way down to your shoulder blades. 

“Bend over the tub.” He commanded, grabbing your hair and pushing your head forward, you stumbled to your knees, crying out at the pain. His hand released your hair, digging into your hips, he shoved you forward so the front of your thighs hit the tub. 

You yelped once more, shooting your hand out into the warm water to keep yourself from falling headfirst into the bath. “Spencer, fuck” you groaned out.

He chuckled behind you, before landing a sharp slap to your ass. Your body jolted forward at the impact, a low moan falling from your lips. Spencer laughed, a genuine laugh, “you like that, baby? You like it when I mark your pretty little ass?” His hand came crashing down again, this time harder. 

You choked on a moan, your ribs digging painfully into the side of the tub. His hand rubbed the soft flesh of your ass, trailing down the back of your thighs and back up. 

A gasp left your lips as his hand dipped into your folds, sliding up and down slowly. “You’re so wet for me… how pathetic.” 

You whimpered lightly, trying to push yourself back onto his hand. You felt so amazingly filthy at that moment, his words should’ve hurt, they should’ve humiliated you, but instead, they only made you wetter. His hand retreated, “oh, no, no, sweet girl. You’ll get what I want when I want.” Spencer chided.

He loved seeing you like this, he loved making you like this, so desperate to be fucked. It made sense when you really thought about it, he was quite submissive in his workplace and dominating you gave him that authority that he craved.

His large hand crashed down onto your backside, and you yelped at the stinging, “shit!” One of your arms reached out of the water, grabbing onto the other side of the tub. You jolted forward as Spencer continued his assault on your backside, alternating between cheeks. 

Mewls and moans escaped your mouth, you tried your hardest to keep them in, praying you wouldn’t alert the team. The worst thing that could happen is someone coming to check on you and finding you naked, bent over the side of the tub, with Spencer at your backside.

“You look so pretty with my handprints all over your ass.” He muttered, his hands running over the soft flesh, kneading it ever so often. 

You hummed lightly at his words, subconsciously pushing back into his grip. A low chuckle left his mouth, you felt him lean over your back, his hard-on pressing up against your ass. You could feel his breath on the back of your neck, and his hand ran up your back to tug on your hair. Your arm bracing itself against the tub fell back into the water as your head was jerked back. “Are you ready for me to fuck you?” 

“Yes, yes, daddy.” It took every ounce of strength you had to resist pushing back against him. “Please, please-” you were cut off by a shriek as Spencer's hand smacked your ass once again. 

“I don’t think you are.” He teased, his fingers trailing up and down the burning flesh of your ass.

A moan left your mouth, not able to hold back, you pushed back against him, begging for friction. Spencer’s hand yanked so hard on your hair you were pulled from the tub, and onto your sore knees. Spencer’s breath was heavy against your ear as he whispered, “I’m starting to think you’re deaf with how much you’re disobeying.”

You whimpered lightly, “sorry, I’m sorry.” Despite your words, you rolled your hips, grinding your sore ass into his pelvis. 

Spencer growled at the friction, sighing angrily through his nose, “fine,” his hand released your hair, roughly grabbing your arms, he pinned them together behind your back with one hand. “You want to cum so bad? You’re going to cum.” 

Two of his fingers filled your pussy quickly, rubbing against your walls. “Fuck!” You cried, your head dropping forward with a strangled moan. Spencer’s hand holding your arms shoved forward, digging your ribs into the side of the tub.

“You’re going to cum on my fingers, again, and again, until I decide I want to fuck you.” He spat, his fingers curling as his hand picked up speed. 

Your back arched as your orgasm neared. Moans and mantras of Spencer’s name tumbling from your lips. “Spencer, Spencer-fuck, daddy.” 

He chuckled in your ear, his fingers working impossibly faster, “cum, cum on my finger.” 

A flash of white filled your vision, your eyes squeezed shut. Shivers ran up your spine, and your head tilted back with a moan. Spencer’s fingers didn’t stop their relentless pace, working you through your orgasm. 

“Hmm… again.” Spencer commanded, stopping momentarily to add a third finger. You groaned, leaning forward to try and escape the overstimulation. But, Spencer’s grip on your arms tightened, pulling your back onto his fingers. “Shit!” You yelled, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. The obscene sounds of his fingers working in and out of your went cunt filled the room. 

“Are you going to cum? You going to cum all over my fingers?” Spencer questioned, as his fingers brushed against your g-spot. 

Your thighs shook around his hand, groaning as your second orgasm coursed through your body. “Fuck-daddy, yes!” A sob tore through your mouth, your vocal cords strained and raw, all thoughts of the team completely disregarded. 

“Good girl” Spencer praised, his fingers slowing as you came down from your high. 

You panted, your shoulders aching from the grip Spencer had on your arms. “Please, please fuck me.” 

“With my fingers? Since you asked so nicely.” Spencer teased, a fourth finger prodding at your entrance. 

“No! No, no, your cock!” You cried, genuine tears flowing down your face. 

“That’s not what you said,” he whispered, as he pushed his fourth finger into you, stretching your walls. 

You screamed, thrashing in his grasp, “Spencer, fuck-fuck.” You were delirious, mind completely clouded with a suffocating lust. It was like you and Spencer were the only two humans on planet earth, the only beings that mattered. 

“One more and I’ll give you my cock” Spencer groaned out in your ear, his own primal lust beginning to take over. 

Broken cries of his name were the only words you managed to say as your third orgasm consumed you, the pressure building in your stomach finally being released. 

“There you go” Spencer praised, pulling his hand from your cunt, as your juices ran down your thighs. 

“Spence-I can’t” you whimpered out, your thighs still shaking from your orgasms. 

Shuffling could be heard from behind you, followed by clothes rustling and the distinct sound of a zipper. “I didn’t ask if you could, you’re going to, baby.” 

He released his hold on your arms, and your body fell forward once more, arms just barely catching yourself from plummeting headfirst into the tub. The head of his cock brushed against your sensitive cunt, and Spencer’s hands grabbed onto your hips, sharply tugging you back onto him. 

You let out a loud scream, the pain and pleasure blending together to form a sweet bliss. “Fuck” you moaned, his hands helping to guide your hips back to his. 

“Fuck, that's it, Y/N” Spencer moaned, adjusting his grip on your hips, the sheen layer of sweat on your bodies causing them to slip. 

Spencer’s hips slammed into your bruised ass, the sound of his skin colliding with yours echoing throughout the bathroom. Your knees were definitely going to be a pretty shade of pink tomorrow. 

Then, strangely, all of the sensations were gone, Spencer had scooted away from you, leaving you empty and used. “Spence what the fu-ah!” 

As you were about to question him, his hands dug into your hips again, yanking you away from the tub. Your arms slipped from the tub, falling to the floor. Before you could get out another word, Spencer’s hand was on the back of your head, gripping your hair. He pushed your head down, causing your arms to collapse, leaving your ass in the air, and the side of your face squished against the cool tile. 

A sob tore through your chest as you felt him fill you once more, and your nails scratched against the tile, searching for something to hold onto. Spencer growled into your ear, lust possessing his body as he pounded into you viciously. You had no clue how you were going to be able to walk tomorrow without arousing suspicion. 

                                                            … 

When you thought of the jet, you thought of peace, it was the calm after the storm. After seeing the horrors of your job, it was pure tranquility to gaze out the window at the blue sky and feel the slight bumps as you ascended through the clouds. 

“You okay, Y/L?” Derek asked from beside you. 

“Hmm?” You said, his deep voice pulling you from your pensive state.

His brows furrowed at you, his head tilting slightly. 

“Oh, yeah, I’m good. I was just looking at the clouds.” 

Derek nodded, starting to pull the headphones hanging around his neck back up to his ears. 

“Did you guys hear that couple last night?” Emily chimed in.

Your breath hitched in your throat, and it took all of your willpower to not shoot a glare at Spencer, but you knew that would only arouse suspicion. 

“Yeah, they were… loud.” JJ said, and you could feel her blue orbs bearing into you. Shit

“Someone was getting some.” Derek chuckled. 

Emily and JJ laughed along, and you took this as your opportunity to gaze up at Spencer, seeing his nose stuffed in a book, eyes speedily scanning the pages. The title definitely wasn’t written in English. 

Spencer’s eyes flickered up to meet yours, one of his eyebrows quirked in a questioning manner. You quickly looked at your lap, like a schoolgirl who had been caught staring at her crush.

“Speaking of, Penelope told me you’ve found some sort of sex genius, Y/N” Emily teased, leaning forward slightly. 

“Ooooh, now I’m listening,” Derek said, turning his attention to you. 

Your eyes darted to JJ, a nervous smile on your face, “he’s not a sex genius, he’s just a guy I met.”

“Oh, so there definitely is someone,” Derek concluded with a laugh. 

You groaned, “I’m going to kill Penelope.”

They chuckled at your statement before Emily spoke up “he must be good if he’s hindering your ability to walk into work.”  

A blush crept onto your face as the three of them erupted into a fit of laughter, you hid your face in your hands, sighing in annoyance. If only they knew said “sex genius” was sitting five feet away from them. 

“Leave Y/N alone.” A gruff voice spoke, a small smile on Hotch’s face as he walked by.

“Thank you!” You screeched, your hand gesturing to him. 

“Did Hotch just smile?” JJ asked, a giggle in her voice.

                                                             … 

You dragged your sore body into your apartment, lazily tossing your keys onto the kitchen counter. The case wasn’t horribly rough, as mild as murder can get. But, Spencer was definitely rough, not that you disliked it. 

You stripped off your blouse, throwing it in the laundry bin, working on your pants next, which you had worn due to your bruised knees. Right as you were about to unclip your bra, a knock sounded from the front door. 

A groan could be heard throughout the room as you trudged to the door, eye peeking into the peephole. Another groan escaped your mouth at the sight of Spencer, you begrudgingly unlocked the door, pulling it open.

“Spencer, what the hell? I’m still sore, and tired.” You complained, turning on your heel to walk back inside. 

Spencer followed, his eyes trailing you like a predator to prey, he leaned leisurely against the counter, his arms crossed. “I never really punished you for letting that officer flirt with you.” He voiced aloud. 

You rolled your eyes, turning to face him, your hands planted sassily on your hips, “seriously you wouldn’t call dicking me down with my face against the floor a punishment?” 

Spencer laughed, a smirk dawning his face, “hardly” his head tilted slightly watching as you shifted your weight in discomfort. 

You weren’t uncomfortable with him, per se, but rather, how vulnerable you felt. You stood, clad in a lacey bra and panties, and he stood, fully clothed, just watching you.  

“C’ mere,” he said, gesturing with his hand. You complied, walking towards him with an awkward shyness. His hand brushed some stray hair from your face, tucking it securely behind your ear. “You’re such a pretty girl, you know that?” 

A shiver washed through your body at his touch, his fingertips trailing lightly down the side of your face, and to your shoulder, playing with the strap of your bra. “Y/N” he started, his hand grazing between the valley of your breasts. “You know that right?” He questioned, his tone more assertive than before. 

You bit down on your lip lightly, nodding your head. His hand trailed back up your chest, curling under the strap of your bra, and in one sharp tug, he had pulled you to his chest, growling lowly in your ear. “Then you understand why I’m not fond of you allowing men to flirt with you, thinking they have a chance with you?” 

Each sharp breath you took pushed your chest even further into his, eyes bearing up at him. He released your bra strap, resting his hands on your shoulders and pushing you away from him. “Then, make it up to me.”

You grabbed onto his arm, steadying yourself as you dropped to your knees. You reached out, beginning to unbuckle his belt, before his hand grabbed yours, halting your movement. “Ah, ah, bra off first.” He teased, his own hands finishing unbuckling his belt. His lust-filled eyes watched as you reached behind your back, unclasping your bra, and sliding it off your shoulders. 

He hummed in approval, and his hand reached into his slacks, pushing them down slightly as he pulled out his hard cock. His head fell back with a groan as you quickly wrapped your lips around the head, your pointer finger running up the vein on the underside. 

He let you tease, surprisingly, and his hand laced in your hair, pulling some of it out of your face. “Fuck” he muttered breathlessly. 

You moaned lightly around him, taking more of him into your mouth, hand wrapping around what you couldn’t fit. Spencer groaned, his brows knitting together, as his hand applied pressure to the back of your head, forcing you down on him. 

You let your hand fall from his length, placing it at the back of his thigh to brace yourself. You breathed steadily through your nose, suppressing your gag reflex as you took him deeper. His hand stopped, grabbing a fist full of your hair, and pulling your head back. 

“That’s it, baby, show me how sorry you are.” His words seemed to ignite something in you, the grip on his thigh tightened, and you bobbed your head along his length. Spencer moaned at the feeling of your lips around him, yanking back on your hair, causing you to gag slightly. “Good girl” he praised, and a muffled whimper escaped your mouth. 

You pulled back, slower this time, letting your tongue run along his cock. “Hmm… you want me to cum in your mouth or your cunt?” Spencer asked, pulling your head off his cock, saliva dribbling down from the corners of your mouth.

“Cum in my pussy, please?” You begged, both of your hands pressed against his thighs, begging at his feet like a puppy. 

Spencer smiled down at you, one of his hands stroking your face affectionately. “Okay, sweetheart.” His hands grabbed yours, helping you to your feet. Once you were upright, one of his strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into him for a soft kiss. You hummed lightly, pulling back to look him in the eyes. “Bedroom, I want you to ride me.”

You grinned at him, giddily grabbing his hand and pulling him down the hall. 

He stepped in first, pushing off his blazer, his hands beginning to unbutton his dress shirt, “you going to help me?”

“Of course, daddy” you replied, stepping forward to work on his pants while he took off his shirt. 

A dreamy sigh left your throat as you watched Spencer clamber onto the bed, turning to prop himself up against the pillows. Quickly, you shed your panties, not bothering to look at the obvious wet patch. “Ride daddy,” Spencer said, his hands folded behind his head. 

You crawled onto the bed, stopping next to Spencer, about to throw a leg over him, when his hand grabbed your hip, stopping you. Your brows knitted in confusion, “Spene-” 

“Wrong way, sweet girl.” Spencer smirked at you.

Your jaw dropped, “Spencer, please, I want to see you” you groaned out.

He chuckled at your whining, his hand pointing forward as he spoke, “you will, baby. And I get to see your pretty little ass.” Your gaze followed his hand, jaw dropping even further when you saw what he was pointing to. Your vanity mirror. 

“Okay” you replied meekly, turning your body towards the mirror and crawling over his lap. His hands met your hips, helping you onto him. 

One of Spencer’s hands left your hip, using it to guide his cock up and down your cunt. “Fuck” you moaned, your hands digging into the soft flesh of Spencer’s bare thighs. “Please, daddy, ple-fuck!” You cried as his cock slipped into you. You ground your hips down onto him, moaning as your walls dragged along his length. 

“Such a good girl” Spencer growled, one hand on your hip, and the other coming down to smack your ass. You shrieked, your hips working faster, your gaze fell onto the mirror, watching as your tits bounced and Spencer’s cock disappeared inside you. You moaned at the sinful sight, you didn’t think watching yourself fuck could be so erotic, but guess you were wrong. 

“You love this don’t you, baby? Such a slut for me, love watching you ride me.” Spencer muttered, the exhaustive lust beginning to overpower your tired bodies. 

You could feel the tension coiling in your stomach as you weakly nodded at Spencer’s words. “Can I cum? I wanna cum for you.” You groaned out, one of your hands leaving his thigh to rub small circles against your clit. 

His hand grabbed your hair, yanking your head back as he growled out “you’re mine. Say it, tell me who you belong to!” 

You cried out, your hips beginning to falter as Spencer rolled his hips up into you. Your eyes crossed, a weak moan falling from your lips. “You, you-I’m yours” 

Spencer grunted harshly, giving another sharp tug to your scalp, “watch yourself, see how pretty you look when you cum around my cock.” 

A squeal left your body as your orgasm hit you like a train. His hand released your hair, causing you to fall forward, arms planted firmly against the comforter as your body tensed. You watched in the mirror, as moans spilled from you, and Spencer grunted behind you, his own orgasm washing over him. Your mouth was open in a silent scream, and your thighs shook around Spencer’s. His hands shot to your hips, digging into your skin, his nails leaving crescents and red streaks as he readjusted his grip, pulling you down onto him one last time.

                                                           …

You basked in the feeling of Spencer’s warm body against yours, head laying against his chest, listening to his heart beat. 

Spencer’s hand ran soothingly through your hair, “I love you” his raw husky voice broke the silence.

You giggled like a schoolgirl, tilting your head to look up at him, “I love you more.” 

“Actually, statistically men tend to say ‘I love you first,’ which I did not. Women do tend to say ‘I love you’ around ten times more than men. Men and women express their feelings of love and affection in different ways. Men are usually-” 

His rant was silenced by your lips melting into his, upturned in a smile. You pulled back, a smile still on your face, “we have all day to ourselves tomorrow, go to sleep.” 

Spencer chuckled, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you closer into him. His lips placed a kiss to the top of your head, the two of you drifting off to sleep in each other's embrace. 

The unfortunate ringing of your cell phones brought you out of your slumber. You rolled over groggily, grabbing your phone. Pulling it away from your face, you let your eyes adjust to the light. You were met with the sight of two neglected notifications. 

Hotch: We have a case, meet at 9.

At least it was an hour later than usual.

One missed call: Aaron Hotchner. 

Fuck. Your eyes darted to the time at the top of your phone, your stomach doing backflips as your read, 9:12.

You scrambled from the bed, whacking Spencer awake in the process. “Jesus, Y/N” he groaned, sleepily running a hand over his face. 

“Get up” you said, grabbing his clothes from the floor and chunking them at him, “we have a case, we’re late.” 

He was out of bed so quick on any other day you would've thought he had watched a dead body be resurrected. “I can’t wear these clothes, I wore them yesterday!”

“There’s no time to stop, we’re already ten minutes late!” You groaned, throwing on a t-shirt, hoping you could dress up the look with a blazer.

“Dammit” he cursed, following your lead. 

Spencer walked through the glass doors, you hobbling behind him, still sore from yesterday. At the sight of the two of you, all jaws dropped to the floor. 

“No. Way.” Emily enunciated, her head shaking in disbelief. 

Derek laughed loudly, “you’ve been holding out on us, pretty boy.” He said between breaths.

“W-what? No-I don’t-we didn’t” The two of you began to defend yourselves, talking over each other, a stupid move in a room full of profilers. 

“Y/L your shirts on inside-out, and I’m pretty sure that’s the blazer Spencer wore yesterday.” Derek pointed out, now catching his breath. 

You looked down and sure enough, he was right, your shirt was on inside-out, and you had unknowingly grabbed Spencer’s blazer from the floor. No wonder it was so big. 

“So Spencer’s not just a genius, but a sex genius!” Garcia squealed, an enthusiastic smile curling her purple painted lips. 

Spencer flushed at the comment, his hands digging into his pockets. “Dear God” you mumbled, burying your face in your hands. 

You all shuffled into the briefing room, taking your seats. “And cue the never ending teasing.” You groaned. 

“Did they finally figure it out? You two need to stop sneaking around like teenagers.” JJ chimed in, walking into the room, handing files out to everyone. 

“What, you knew?” Emily gasped, looking at JJ bewildered. 

“You guys told JJ?” Derek accused. 

“Oh, no one told JJ, JJ found out herself when the two decided to get frisky at the club!” JJ laughed, joining in on the torment. 

“Ah, ah, ah! Stop it, stop!” You cried, not being able to stop the smile that broke out onto your red face. 

“Leave the teenagers alone, we have a case.” Hotch said, making his appearance in the room. 

“Seriously, you too?” 

“At least we don��t have to sneak around anymore.” Spencer pointed out meekly, peeking up at you, his red face matching yours. 

You giggled at the revelation, things would definitely be different now, and maybe for the better. 

[magicforjournals]

The Green Dress (A Story About Loki) Chapter one : Him

Summary : A love story between a simple girl and Loki. Having been friends with Natasha for a couple of years now, you were used to her meddling in your love life. You and Nat met back when she was “working” for Tony; both of them had attended the opening of the new school, which you worked at, dedicated to Stark. She had walked over to ask if you needed help with anything as you were setting up the donations table. Your friendship developed from there on and you basically became sisters. You don’t think, however, that she was ready for how Loki changed your life.

Warning : None

You smile as you look down at your phone, which was ringing on your desk. Of course, Nat would call you right as the school day ends.

“Hey! What’s going on?” You say as you answer the call.

“Why do I only work with children?” Nat whines. “Don’t get me wrong, I love my job! But God, I wish I didn’t have to babysit them, you know.”

“I know hun, but are you honestly that surprised?” You reply as you’re picking up your class material and shoving everything in your bag. “How about I pick you up from work, and we go out for some drinks? I don’t have any grading to do today!” That was a rare occurrence. You usually had so much work. Your students were some of the more gifted ones in the entire school, and you always had extra work for them to do, meaning more work for you.

“Damn, you’re either slacking or you’re very efficient teach! We are having a party tonight at the compound remember?” Shit, you had forgotten about it. Who the hell has a party on a Thursday night?! And of course, you had promised the Avengers you’d attend… smart.

“I didn’t forget,“ Lies. “I have to go home and change, I’ll head over right after.“

“I stopped by your apartment to grab your clothes for you already,“ Nat says, all giddy. “I told you that giving me a key was a mistake. And I’m parked outside, no drinking and driving tonight! So hurry up, it’s freezing out here!” Oh God, why were you not surprised that she had done all of that?

“You’ll be the death of me Romanoff. I’ll be out in a sec then,“ you sigh. This woman was sometimes too much.

You chuckle as you finish packing your bag and walk out, locking the door to your classroom behind you. As you open the door to the outside, a chilling breeze greets you, making you shiver and shut your coat closed against your chest. As you make sure your car is locked, pressing the button three times just to be sure, you see Nat waving at you from the driver seat of her car. You think about the first time she told you about her job and her past, both of you drunk in your living room, swapping stories. Of course, your past wasn’t as rough as hers, but still, you felt connected to her in many ways. She quickly became your best friend, and the one you called after each miserable date, or whenever the awful guy you were dating dumped you. After your last breakup, around 8 months ago, she had vowed to find you the perfect man. She had talked about setting you up with one of the Avengers, but nothing had come of it.

“You look exhausted! What the hell did those kids do to you today?!“ Are the first words Nat greets you with when you open the car door. Geez, you didn’t think you looked that bad.

“You look nice too Nat!“ You smirk back, tossing your purse on the back seat.

“Get in loser,“ She answers, smiling. This friendship is definitely one of a kind! As you get in, you see that Nat seems a little on edge - almost nervous. This is odd. Usually, Nat isn’t the nervous type. She starts driving away, and you lean back on the leather seat, wondering what is bothering your friend. You know not to pry sometimes but this is different, she almost seems excited?

“Spill it Red“ You finally say.

“Ok, I’ll tell you, but don’t be mad at me ok?“ She replies in a small voice, a guilty look on her face.

“Oh no, I don’t like when you make that face. What did you do this time?“ You’re even scared to ask that.

“Steve is gonna be there tonight.“

Steve… Steve Rogers, the man you’ve had a HUGE crush on since the day you met. He was just so sweet and so considerate. And hot. Oh God was he ever hot. You’ve dreamt of climbing him like a tree and feel his strong hands on your body, around your neck. Nat had once tried to talk him into asking you out, but he never did. He didn’t want to force you into this crazy mess that was his life, that much he had told you face to face. From that day on, you rarely were in the presence of one another, not that you’ve been avoiding him nor he avoiding you, it just happened that way. There still was this weird feeling, tension between you guys, and being in his company made you sort of on edge. It was crazy, you knew nothing would happen between the two of you.Nat was still hoping however.

“That’s ok Nat. I’m over it. Why do you feel bad though? About the fact that Rogers is gonna be there?“ And then it hit you… She had picked out your outfit for tonight. “Oh no, Natasha, what did you grab out of my closet?“ You ask, panic in your voice.

“The green dress.”

You nod and sigh in relief. Ok, that wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. You liked your emerald green dress. It was a little dressy, off the shoulder, hugged all your curves, but it was nice! It made you feel beautiful and powerful whenever you wore it too. “Oh, and Thor is apparently bringing his brother too. They’re trying to rebuild their relationship, or whatever. I still don’t trust Loki, but Thor seems adamant that he’s changed, so we’ll see.“ Natasha adds, shrugging her shoulders, quite indifferent about the situation and making the turn on to the road to the compound, stopping to scan her ID at the gate.

You hadn’t met Loki yet. In the past couple of years, you had of course heard about Loki Laufeyson, the villain that tried to take over Earth. However, to you, it seemed that he was a misunderstood child and was finally lashing out after all those years. Guess you’ll be confirming your suspicions tonight.

Natasha pulls up in her parking space next to Tony’s multiple cars and you both get out, just chatting about your day at school, how your students are advancing rapidly. She cares so much about your job and your kids, it’s endearing. She would’ve been a great teacher, a mother even, if she hadn’t been brought up in that place… You subconsciously shiver at the thought of the Red Room Natasha mentioned once a long time ago, but that bit of information was forever etched into your brain.

As you walk into the building, making your way to Nat’s little apartment, you guys bump into Pepper, her arms full of documents and looking a little frazzled.

“Woah, you okay there Pepper?“ You ask, instinctually reaching out to help her.

“Yeah,“ she sighs, out of breath. “Just taking care of some business for Stark Industries. Tony had to sign a couple of things for me to go ahead with the deals.“ Poor Pepper, she worked so hard as the CEO, she often forgets to take time for herself.

“Why don’t you come by my place, we’re getting ready for the party tonight. You could use a drink Pep, seriously.“ Nat replies, taking the papers out of Pepper’s arms. “I’ll ask someone to drop these off at your office. Door is unlocked, you guys go, I’ll meet you there in a second!“ She nudges you and Pepper down the hall.

You’ve always liked Nat’s small studio apartment, it was cozy and peaceful. Like promised, Natasha met up with you guys after only a couple of minutes and you three started getting ready for the party, drinking, doing your makeup - something out of a bad rom-com honestly.

“So why are you guys having this party again?” You ask as you’re walking down the stairs to the living room/bar idea. Nat had done your makeup, (she was so talented honestly!) and you were wearing that green dress she had also picked out for you, you felt beautiful and you were excited to let loose on a Thursday night (you still thought that was weird), your week had been rough so far.

“It’s to celebrate Maria’s birthday, she didn’t want to do anything huge so we thought she’d like to hang out with friends.” Pepper replies.

And friends there was, everyone was there. Even Bucky! You hadn’t seen him in a while, he stayed away often, trying to figure out where he fits in this new life of his now. Nonetheless, you always enjoyed his company, he was quite funny and you were happy to see him again.

As you reached the bottom of the stairs you scanned the room, looking for Steve, hoping that tonight’s interactions with him won’t be too weird, when you land on a pair of stunning blue/green eyes just staring at you. Almost immediately, you feel your heart flutter and your stomach twist, a warm feeling spreading inside of you. Who was that? Your eyes start moving down the stranger’s face, below his mesmerizing eyes, framed by thick black brows, there was a straight nose, thin but beautiful lips, dimples as he was smiling at you, a strong jaw…

“That’s Loki,” Nat whispers in your ear. “I don’t know why Thor thought it’d be a good idea to bring him tonight.” She keeps talking, but you don’t hear anything. All you see is this fascinating man, who is smiling kindly at you from across the room, a spark of mischief in his eyes.

So that’s him. Loki.

[the-sympathetic-villain]

U!patton and Remus for the Remus prompt. my friend and I had an idea where Patton forces Remus to wear a muzzle so he can’t talk

Okay, I don't know how to write short prompts so I went a little overboard on this. I also threw in some protective Janus just for fun. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it! <3

Pure Thoughts

Description: Remus makes his way over to the light side of the Mindscape to patch up his relationship with Virgil, but he doesn't quite make it to his friend.

Characters: Remus, Patton, Janus, Virgil and Logan Mentioned Pairings: Platonic Dukeciet Word Count: 3256 Warnings: Remus-Type Content (Sexual Innuendo, Somewhat Graphic Descriptions, Etc), Threats, Attempted Erasing of a Side, Swearing, Death mention, Angst with a happy ending, Hurt/Comfort, Unsympathetic Patton (Let me know if I missed anything!)

---

Remus poked his head into the dim, empty corridor of the mindscape, pausing to check for the other sides before tiptoeing around the corner. Any other night, he'd be making his way down the hall with cymbals on the feet and a kazoo in his mouth, but tonight was the night to be covert. For once, he was actually trying not to be noticed, and notably, he was succeeding. Which was as perfectly satisfying as his pet eldritch demon's tentacle slime, because the last time he'd made one of his more spectacular entrances in their shared spaces, the Microsoft Nerd™ had nearly blown a gasket.

He'd lectured Remus for nearly forty-five minutes about ‘optimal sleep schedules’ and ‘the importance of brushing your teeth’ or whatever the dork had been saying. Quite frankly, Remus hadn't been listening. Learning from his mistakes wasn't exactly his jam, and if nerdy Wolverine’s brain was too full of Crofter’s to have realized that, that seemed like a him problem.

Besides, that was the past. Right now, the future seemed so much juicer. His fabulously favorite emo had eased up on his prickly sarcasm enough to give him a chance to talk things out, and as ambivalent as he may pretend to be, he wasn’t going to pass on the opportunity to make amends with his old friend. He wanted to salvage any small piece of their damaged relationship, so here he was, sneaking into the light sides' half of the mindscape to duke it out with his anxious nightmare.

The only challenge left was passing the other light sides’ rooms. Virgil's room of course had of course moved to the farthest corner of their space, making it the most difficult to reach without being noticed. Of course, he could make it easy if he cut across the common room. That way,  he'd miss Roman’s room entirely and the only one he'd have to worry about was—

“Hey, kiddo.”

Remus head spun on his shoulder to the sound of Patton’s voice. The usually friendly father figure's familiar voice filled the room with a soft kind of seriousness that sent shivers down Remus' spine. The chill in Patton's voice was new and unsettling, but still, Remus cracked a cocky grin as he stared into the shadows and waited for Patton's lecture. After a moment, the lamp on the far side of the room clicked on to reveal a seriously scary looking frown on Patton’s face. Remus straightened upright as a tingling of fear crept up his arms. The creep factor of the amber lighting alone would have put Remus' own efforts to shame, but this was Patton.

Pun-loving, puppy cuddling Patton.

Patty boy’s harmless.

Right?

Remus swallowed nervously before summoning up his usual carefree front and staggering across the soft carpet. “Hey, Padre. Sorry, if you were looking for a late night suck, but I'm actually in a bit of a hurry. Maybe later—”

“Language, Remus.”

Remus stalled at the coldness in Patton’s tone. He licked his lips. The hostility in the air was nearly palpable as Remus stared across the room, trying to get a gauge on this new side Patton. It wasn't often one of the other sides left Remus speechless, but he was unsure of how to react to such an open display of hostility, especially from the side whose entire being was rigged toward being nurturing. Oh, well. There wasn't much else for him to do and he was on a schedule tonight. Remus let out a breath, falling back on familiar habits as an attempt to cover his exit. “Don't get your panties in a bunch, Patty daddy. I know you’re not the type blow and go without a sticky emotional mess, but you don’t have to worry—”

“You’re not going, Remus.”

Remus’ grin faltered at the finality in Patton’s voice, biting his lip as he eyed the direction of Virgil's room. “Um, what?”

“Virgil’s been doing so good.” Patton growled as he rose to his feet. Remus' feet felt like lead holding him in place while Patton moved to block his way. “I finally got my kiddo realizing how toxic you are to him and I’m not going to let you play with him anymore.”

Remus' mustache twitched with displeasure at the insinuation, though a part of him wasn't denying Patton's brusque statement. “Listen, Pattycake. As well as you play the daddy dom role, Virgil asked for me to come and I don’t see where this is your business, so I'll just be—"

“Virgil needs help knowing what's good for him.” Patton continued as a deep hatred started to burn in his eyes. “and that isn't you, Remus.”

Remus brushed him off, starting towards the door. He'd only made it a few steps before Patton waved his hand the door disappeared. Defensiveness turned to frustration as he reeled on Patton. “You can't just—”

“Go back to the whole where you belong before force you into your place.”

Remus froze as Patton's stomp connected with the ground, sending a shiver across his skin as the particles of his body destabilized. A choking breath caught in his throat and his hands shot to his chest in a manic frenzy as his body solidified again. He glanced up at the dangerous sparkle in Patton's eye. Remus was alive for now, but he got the feeling Patton wasn’t done with him yet.

“Hold on, Pat. Let's talk about this—” A bead of sweat dripped down Remus temple as he began stepping away from the door. His hands lingered in the air as he tried to reason with Patton. “—I thought we were good. The human pocket protector told you it was best to play nice with me. I get you don't like me, and it don’t have to be an orgy or nothing, but you can't just piss all over the nerd's hypoth—”

“Shut up.”

Remus sucked in a sharp breath as a black, leather muzzle appeared over his face. The leather molded to his skin as his hands shot to his face in a sudden manic moment of fear. Desperately, he pulled at the leather with all the force he could muster as the glowing rage in Patton’s eyes slowly backed him into a corner.

“I'm sick of you bullying Logan and dragging Virgil down.” The lights in the room flickered as Patton cried out and shoved Remus to the ground. “I don't care what Thomas says or Logan thinks. You don’t deserve to stay. Thomas is better off without you."

Remus hesitated. His hands lingered on the muzzle as his eyes flitted the door back to his own room. He knew he could retreat to his own room, but the idea of letting Virgil think he’d stood him up gave him pause. The choice was made for him a moment later when  Patton’s power vibrated in the air and Remus let out a muffled cry as he felt his being wavering. The particles of his body began to weaken and fade as his resistance crumbled. He was unable to push back or even speak as Patton started to force him into the subconscious.

“Virgil will be disappointed when he realizes you forgot about him,” Patton whispered as Remus tipped his head up to meet the horrifying smile spread across Patton's face. “but he'll understand once you’re gone. I'll make sure he knows how bad you really are.”

Panic shot to Remus’ heart as he clutched at his fading body, choking as the muzzle as it grew tighter on his lips.

“I should have put that muzzle on you years ago." Patton’s laugh cracked in his ear. “Your silence is music to my ears. Finally, we can be good. Thomas can be good without you hear to ruin—"

“Is everything okay in here?”

Remus let out a heaving breath as his body hit the ground. He clutched his hands to his body, feeling around to make sure he was still fully there as Patton's grip loosened on him.

“Mind your own business, Janus.”

“Remus is my business. You made it clear years ago that he is my responsibility.” A flicker of worry flashed over Janus' eyes as Remus glanced up to him, but his gaze remained cold and distant as he maintained eye contact with Patton. “In fact, I think I'll be taking him now.”

Remus fingers raised to his lips as Patton’s muzzle fell away at Janus’ snap. His body was numb as Janus moved between him and Patton, extending a hand down to him. Remus swayed, staring at the fury in Patton's eyes as Janus pulled him to his feet.

“You have no right—”

“I think you'll find that I'm quite within my rights to do as I please.” Janus muttered as he absently brushed the dust from Remus’ shirt and shot a deathly glare at Patton. "but if you want to test that theory, I have no problem getting Thomas involved.”

Patton growled his discontent as Janus stepped forward to shield Remus from Patton's gaze. The silence hung over them, weighing heavy on Remus' shaking body, until the air shifted and Patton took a step back. “Keep him away from Virgil or I may not be so forgiving next time.”

“Don’t worry. You've won this battle, Morality, but I hope you know that Virgil will start to question your iron grip on him eventually. I taught him better than to simply follow others.” Janus muttered bitterly. His head bowed in reluctant acceptance of Patton's good grace, though his voice remained rebellious as their eyes remained locked together. “ He will not accept your word on blind faith.”

“Virgil will learn not to question me when he realizes how toxic you are to him. He can be molded into something better, unlike the cretin you're using so much of your dwindling energy to protect.” Patton spat as he turned to the door. “Now, go back to your hole before I change my mind."

“Remus, go.” Janus shoved him to the door.

“But—”

“For once in your life, don’t argue with me.” Janus muttered as he guided the shell-shocked Remus back to the dark sides' hallway. His voice dropped after a few steps and he glanced down at Remus. “Not a single word until he can't hear us. Got it?”

Remus nodded, still numb as Janus dragged him toward his own room. He could hear Janus’ breathing become heavy as he guided Remus through the narrowing hallways with an unnatural speed, not stopping until they reached Remus' black door at the end of the hallway.

“Jan—”

“Not yet, Re.” Janus whispered as he cast one last suspicious glance down the empty hallway before shoving Remus inside the narrow door frame.

“Janus, what the h—”

Remus' diatribe was knocked out of him as Janus' body slammed into his chest. He froze as Janus' arms curled around him, unsure of how to process the man's tight grip. He tensed, ready to struggle when he realized Janus was actually hugging him.

“Are you hurt?”

“What? No—” Remus whispered. His body went limp as released him enough to look him up and down. “I'm—I'm fine, Jan.”

“I'm going kill that self-righteous bastard.” Janus seethed. His grip on Remus' shoulders tightened as he stared past Remus to the closed door. “How dare he threaten you—”

“Janus—”

“—and especially when you were actually working to make things right with Virgil—"

“I don’t—” Remus blinked as Janus' words registered in his mind. "Wait, how did you know that's what I was—"

“I mean, where does he even get off thinking he can control Virgil's life without his input anyway?" Janus growled, gesturing abruptly to the door. "Virgil isn’t some helpless child. He’s able to make his own decisions—"

“Am I on fucking mute or something?”

“—and you!” Janus spat, gesturing towards the Remus. Remus immediately flinched at Janus' anger, though he wasn’t sure what he'd done to deserve the lying side's ire. “He could have killed you—”

"What?" Remus flailed as Janus grabbed the collar of his shirt like a disobedient child. “Hey, that's not fair! I didn’t know that Pattoncake was secretly a sadist—”

“You should have been more careful—"

Remus' head reeled as Janus spun him around, but he managed to stifle his nausea long enough to shout at Janus. “Jan—For fuck's sake, either fuck me or take my head off your fucking chopping block—”

Janus blinked, finally taking in Remus' red face as he swayed uneasily in Janus' grip. “What?”

"Listen, I like it rough and all but if I knew that you could manhandle me like that—" Remus blinked blearily as Janus loosened his grip. "Fuck the possibilities are endless, but—"

"Remus, I'm really not in the mood for your games tonight—"

“I'm not playing—Just ignore all of that. I needed to get your attention because you wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise. ” Remus muttered, waving his hands as he found his bearings. “Jan, you—you frickin' saved me.”

"Now is the time you decide to censor yourself?"

"I'm trying to give you a compliment, Janus." Remus cut him off with a wave of his arms. "Hello, I wasn't expecting to become a damsel in distress but you make a hell of a knight in shining armor to have actually stepped in to save me.

“Of course, I saved you." Janus muttered after a moment, dipping his head in embarrassment. "I felt Patton’s emotions start to well up. I knew he was going to cause trouble and I wasn't about to leave you to his mercy.”

“What so you mean you felt him?” Remus mouth dropped in confusion.

Janus shrugged as his gaze dropped to the ground, still agitated. “I feel a lot of things Patton does.”

“But why?” Remus growled angrily as Janus clammed up. "Just spit it out already, Jan—"

“Because he's Thomas’ biggest lie.” Janus blurted out without thinking, gesturing to the door.

“What?” Remus whispered as he watched Janus begin to pace the room.

“The source of Thomas’ morality is corrupt.” Janus yelled, though he was quickly losing steam. “Not Thomas himself. God, not Thomas. But his insistence on clinging to his purity complex and thinking he can please everyone if he just tries hard enough—It's the most insidious evil that's ever taken root in him.

Remus went quiet as Janus explained and everything suddenly began to click into place.

“Thomas can't just turn his attention away from every reality he doesn't like.” Janus shrugged as he looked up at Remus. “Trying to eliminate anything uncomfortable or unpleasant in his life is a slippery slope to much more dangerous ideas.”

“Okay,sure, but this is still happy pappy, sunshine-coming-out-of-his-ass Patton. You sure you don't got a screw loose in that big brain of yours?” Remus managed to blurt out in exasperation. The scene had just played out before his own eyes,  but he couldn't help that his brain turned to fuzz every time he attempted to process it. “Ya know? Maybe, we’re in a some sort of shared delusion.  I mean, I know he's cute and all but now's not the time to think with your other head—”

"Remus," Janus let out an exasperated sigh as he glared at Remus. “I know you can’t help it but I would strongly prefer you think before you speak, like a normal person—”

“But, Jan. Come on—"

“His perceived innocence is part of the ruse, Remus. Why do you think Thomas' Logic is blind to his actions?” Janus muttered as his voice became nearly manic. "Why do you think his Creativity fawns over him and his Anxiety is soothed by him?"

Remus giggled as the human side of Janus' face became a brilliant shade of red. "Couldn't just be that he's just more personable than you, Janus?"

"Remus, I swear I'll strangle you myself—"

“Ya know, it's not often I'm the one fighting to talk over you.” Remus interrupted as he giggled and leaned into Janus' fury with a crooked grin. “If I knew you'd get all hot and bothered by Patty getting rough with me, I would’ve shoved my—"

“If you value your life, you will not finish that thought.” Janus muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “This is serious, Remus. You—You could have died.”

“Everything’s always serious, Jan-Jan. You should give yourself a break.” Remus grinned, gesturing up and down at himself. "Do I look dead to you?"

“I know, but—”

Remus' grin widened as he rambled. “I mean, I've got a plan for when the heart attack kills you and all, but I'm not like dying to use it.”

“That's not the—Wait, you do?”

“Well, yeah. I wouldn't let you go out without a bang." Remus' grin widened as Janus turned up him curiously. "Figured I'd have some fun with it and put your head under someone’s covers. It’s very Godfather-esque.”

“Huh—" Janus leaned back, suddenly contemplative to Remus' proposal. "To whom would you do this?”

“Well, not Pattycake anymore.” Remus laughed, patting Janus on the back. “Maybe, Roman though. He needs good jolt every once in a while.”

“He certainly could stand to come down a few notches on his ego.” Janus sighed, rolling his eyes. He paused, finally taking a breath as he stared at Remus unfaltering smile. “I have no idea how you're managing to stay calm after what just happened."

“Well, that's easy." Remus purred with cocky smile as he leaned into Janus. “I got my big, bad protector here with me.”

"I got lucky, Remus." Janus huffed. “If I hadn't have been paying attention to Patton's power flaring up,  you would've—”

“Whatever, you felt that Patty boy was about to turn me to dust and you showed up.” Remus brushed off Janus' excuses. “That means something, Jan—Means a lot to me actually.”

Janus blinked as he looked up to the suddenly serious expression on Remus' face.

“The deadly dad freaked me out and I have to admit he had me kinda buying the story that I'm not that great of an influence on Virgil—” Remus sighed as he let his grin dropped away. “— or Thomas even, but I figure if you saved me, I can’t actually be all bad.”

“You’re not bad, Remus.”

“Yeah, well, even I need a reminder of that every once in a while.” Remus smiled. He shifted on his feet as he looked up at Janus. “So, thanks.”

“Anytime, Re.” Janus smirked at Remus' sincere smile. "I've always got your back."

“I know you do.” Remus breathed with a worried glance back at his door. “Saving me might have been the easy part though, Jan. Patton didn't seem like he was gonna let our Stormy Nightmare go.”

“Virgil will see through his lies,” Janus breathed as tasted the air. “The power's shifting and he can't hold me back forever. We aren't going down without a fight, and once Thomas sees his true nature, the game's over for Morality.”

“Well, better get cracking then,” Remus grinned. “before Patton finishes brainwashing 'em all.”

Janus nodded with a glance at the wall as a sudden chill ran up his spine. He could feel someone watching, but he supposed it didn’t matter. There was no turning back now. “Yes, Remus. I think it’s time to start pushing back.”

---

@justanotherhumanstuff @im-an-anxious-wreck @shadowyplaidpurseegg

[korgidorgi]

OUAT Regina Mills x Reader

Word count: 1637

Warnings: Like, one curse word

Summary: Takes place around S3 Ep13. Reader just arrived back in Storybrooke the previous day. They are chilling in Granny’s Diner, looking through some writings when Regina joins them. They have a chat about something strange that reader (you) had experienced in the past year. It had happened before, but when they were a kid, and it felt so real.

Gender is not specified.

Sitting in Granny’s Diner, you take a sip of your drink while flipping through the pages of two notebooks. One notebook has pages upon pages of storyline and sketches of characters. The other notebook contains notes about the first one, and this little town called Storybrooke, mostly about the people you’ve met in your short amount of time of being in this town since you arrived yesterday. Apparently, Emma, your childhood friend, is in the town too, and her son, Henry, who you haven’t seen in a year.

Emma had invited you for dinner with her, Henry, and a few friends last night, which you politely declined, but ended up going anyway. That’s where you met Mary Margaret and David. You’ve previously met Regina staring at your vehicle when you stopped in one of the stores yesterday when you first arrived; she was at the dinner too. Everyone was very nice, but something was bothering you, you didn’t know what it was at the time, but you’ve figured it out now, you think.

There’s something awfully familiar about the town and it’s people. Flipping through your journals, you finally connect the dots. Sitting in the booth behind you-

“Hey, do you mind if I sit with you?” A tentative voice brings you back to earth.

You look up, finding the dark haired woman from last night, and the same one you asked Mary Margaret about earlier this morning when you went to pick something up from her apartment that you’d left the previous night.

“No, not at all. Here-” you scramble your notes together to clear the table at least a bit from your spiraling ideas.

Regina takes a seat across from you as you try to organize your belongings, a little embarrassed about the mess.

“Sorry it's such a mess.” You apologize, throwing the loose papers and notes into your bag.

“It’s quite alright.” She responds, flashing you a small smile. “What are you writing?”

“Oh, I uh, I’ve been writing a story. Inspired from my dreams.” You nervously answer, not knowing where to look. “It sounds weird, right?”

“No, not at all.” She reassures, hesitantly placing a hand on top of yours briefly. “May I ask what your dreams are inspiring?”

“I’ve actually been writing in these journals for years, since I was a kid. I’ve always had really vivid dreams, and it was like they’d go in order, like episodes for a tv show.” You begin. “I got so into them, I started writing them down, and sometimes I’d draw some of the people as best I could from memory, but I was a kid, so they didn’t turn out very great. I’m currently looking back into it because I’ve had them again this past year, but they’ve suddenly stopped now. At least my sketches are better.” You chuckle.

“Well, they say follow your dreams.” She smiles over at you, pulling some hair from in front of her eyes. “What were they about?”

“I’m a pirate, I think, and during this past year I met a supposed “Evil Queen”, who I had met in my childhood dreams before.” You begin. “The first major scene I had was following her into a castle and trying to talk some sense into her before she tried to put a sleeping curse on herself. She told me she really missed her son, that there’s no reason for her to continue with her life. I felt bad for her and she poofed me away with some magic and I couldn’t find her again.” You tell her one of the major scenes in your dream, flipping through the pages of the first notebook you used at the re-beginning of the dreams and stopping on a certain page.

Flipping the notebook around for her to see, you let her take in the pencil sketch in front of her. The graphite etched into the paper depicts a mourning Queen sitting in a stone bench of a large room, her hair tied up and her body adorned by an intricately patterned dress, a dark cloak draped over her shoulders. In her hand, she holds a long needle, the tip coated with some dark substance; a potion or curse of some sort. Her features are soft but full of anguish, her eyes holding the most dejected look one could ever see as she looks down at the needle in her fingers.

You watch Regina take in the drawing for a moment before she finally speaks. “That’s very well drawn. And that’s from memory.” She comments, raising her eyebrows as if she’s impressed.

“Thank you, Regina.” You bashfully accept her compliment. “That’s how vivid these dreams are.” You add. “They feel like I’m actually experiencing them. Like I’m traveling to another world and living it.”

She nods at your statement, eyes fixed on the sketch again.

You speak up again, “Can I tell you something? It’s going to sound crazy, but I need to get this out of my head.”

“Of course.” She returns her gaze to you, awaiting what you have to say.

You think for a moment what you want to say first before finally saying one of your thoughts that’s been bugging you ever since you first saw her. “Have we met before?” You blurt out the question, not able to keep your words in check. “I just can’t shake the feeling that I’ve seen you somewhere, that I’ve known you from somewhere.”

“I don’t think we have.” Regina answers. “I think I’d remember someone as-” She cuts herself off, pausing for a moment to look for the right words. “Someone as adventurous as you.”

“Oh. Okay.” You look down, “Sorry, that was a weird question.”

“No, not at all, Dear.” Regina reassures you.

You flash her a small smile, catching something out of the corner of your eye. A man passes your booth, not noticing your glance at him and leading Henry out of the Diner, to watch over him, you suspect. Regina notices your look, but before she can say anything, you’re flipping through the pages of your journal, muttering to yourself about “where is it”. Regina watches you as you finally stop on a certain page, completely confused and utterly shocked.

“I’ve seen him before…” You gape at your journal.

A sketch of a pirate’s portrait takes up the upper half of the page, as if drawn for a character profile in a novel with a description underneath the sketch. The man has short but well kept hair, one of his eyebrows raised slightly as if to taunt whomever it is he was interacting with at the time of the sketch. His stubble beard brings out some of his more attractive features and he sports a small black earring, almost covered by his black coat’s collar.

“Somehow, my subconscious knew him, and here he is.” You marvel.

“It might just be a coincidence.” Regina suggests. “Your brain doesn't forget faces, maybe you’ve seen someone like him somewhere and your mind just put him in there.”

“Maybe. But how weird is this?”

“I’ll admit, it is pretty weird.” Regina says. “Hey, I’m gonna go grab a drink from the counter, I’ll be right back.” Regina gets up to make her way to the counter of the Diner.

You flip through your journals, looking at all the characters you had sketched from your dream. You notice Regina saying hi to Emma and continue trying to think through what you had just confessed to Regina. Is it weird you told her something so bizarre even though you’ve only just met her yesterday?

Suddenly, the door bursts open and Mary Margaret’s friend, who was going to help her with the baby, walks into the diner. The aura around the woman wasn’t like anything you’d felt. She looks to be intimidating everyone in the diner, yet Regina doesn’t seem to flinch at the sudden entrance like everyone else. The woman waltzes right up to Regina, vengeful determination written all over her features. You watch as she gets up in Regina's face, trying so hard to intimidate her, but failing. You stand to go join Regina at the counter and try to see if you can get another drink.

“Oh, she never told you?” You hear the strange woman say, as she goes on about her being Regina’s sister.

“Of course she didn’t tell me, otherwise I’d know I have a sister.” Regina snaps back, holding her ground.

You interject before the energy in the room gets even more uncomfortable. “Ok, you’re making kind of a scene and people are staring. So, whatever sibling rivalries you have, can you put them on hold and sort them out somewhere else so you don’t cause a scene?”

“Who do you think you are?” The woman sneers. “Do you even know who you’re talking to?”

“Don’t know, don’t care.” You simply state, before trying to shoo the Karen out. “But if you’re going to bring drama in here and bother everyone in the Diner, Karen, you can leave, please and thank you.”

You guide her out the door and watch her huff as she turns to walk away. “Regina, meet me tonight, we’ll settle our differences then. You all haven’t heard of the last of me!”

You turn back to Regina to find the whole diner looking at you. “What? Did I do something wrong?”

Regina approaches you, placing her hands on your upper arms in an attempt to comfort you. “No, you’ve done nothing wrong.” She reassures, looking out the door to watch the woman disappear from view. “Thank you for kicking her out.”

“You’re welcome.” You respond, still slightly nervous. “She was being a bitch to you.” You mutter.

Your response causes Regina to release a small chuckle. “I have a protector now?”

“I guess…” You mumble.