#and also the bird tiddies. sorry.

[apphiarothowrites]

I don’t know what’s funnier

(1)Marco being the accidental love child of rocks and whitebeard through some trans magic and phoenix fuckery

(2)Or Marco’s mother being alive, known as “auntie” to all the white beards and coming aboard the moby to visit her son

(1)Because on the one hand you have Ace going “my dad was a monster” and Marco just being silent like… yeah that’s rough buddy (and goes along with my personal headcanon that rocks was the last user of the tori tori no mi, and ended up going insane because of the phoenix) Marco looks like Wb except for the eyes (rocks had the prettiest eyes)

(2)On the other hand you have this random lady who boards the moby every once in a while who is a carbon copy of Marco except bigger tiddies and longer hair who is absolutely adored by all the crew. Who will in all of her 5.9 glory cuss out whitebeard for hours while brandishing a chancla (thatch will be lovingly kicked out of the kitchen post hast during her visit)

In both of these scenarios Ace is permanently flabbergasted and I can’t decide which to choose

(Sorry if I’m spamming, I just really wanted to share this)

1 is interesting because it would actually make Marco a couple years younger than in Canon to the same age as Shanks or he'd have to have been at most 6 years old on the Rocks Pirates ship (current speculation is that right after the final battle of Rocks D. Xebec, the God Valley Incident, Roger found newborn/infant Shanks in the aftermath and adopted him right there then found buggy not long after).

The "my dad was a monster" relatability but it'd make for a *fascinating* case of nature vs nurture. Same "nature" for them both but whereas Ace was raised believing his blood is cursed and his dad at least was a horrible person, Marco was raised believing his blood doesn't matter its what you do with your life that does (and that his dad wasnt evil, just hugely ambitious which led him down a hard path) (also makes marco's lack of ambition thematically similar to Ace's lack odlf desire to be pirate king). Phoenix notwithstanding of course (bonus for marco if eating the fruit was a complete accident that nobody planned for him and WB had to remove himself from the situation at first because he was laughing hysterically).

2 is just plain funny. Amazingly embarrassing mom who mothers the whole crew and actually guilts Pops into being more conscious of his health because look what that stress is doing to her precious boy!!! Thatch evicted from the kitchen so Auntie/Mama Bird can feed her boy and all his friends? I'm crying that's so fucking good.

Ace gets his cheek pinched, his ear grabbed so he can be dragged around, and a lecture on wearing shirts because he'll catch his death of cold if he doesn't before getting drowned in soup. Meanwhile Marco is just "yes mama"ing his way through her visit (yes mama I'll write more, yes mama I'll make an honest man out of ace, yes mama I'll make sure my cousins are invited to the wedding). 🤣🤣🤣

[quarantinescarpet]

My quotes list from over the years

FRESHMAN

-“‘tis I the frenchiest fry.”

-“Someone’s stabbing me in the leg with a spork.”

-“I A DEMOCRAT OOPS”

-Spill the pony tea.

-How many geese would it take to bring down a full grown man?

-Point is, I love you both and I would 10/10 ride a motorbike

-“Apparently someone in Mr. Hopkins G block got scared of turkey noises.”

-“It’s like... it’s like a stupid game of Russian roulette Tetris with giant death machines”

-“I feel like you'd have a shrine to remember Spider-man, complete with candles and every single ‘mr stark I don't feel so good’ meme printed out.”

-“don’t ask me, I don’t know anything about the sex”

-“I WILL RIP YOUR DICK OFF”

-“What’s the difference between gay silence and regular silence?”

-“what yields a focus pencil? A patience tree?”

-“I might boogie on the desk so hard that the gum keeping it together gets unchewed and yeets back into the dimension it belongs in”

-“You smell like my fencing teacher”

-“sponsor a sponsor! Become a child”

-“Woof woof bitch, im a furry.”

-“yo to the hoe”

-“does my emoji still smell?”

SOPHOMORE

-“peter doesn't have a detachable head”

-“two thirds of me is wearing glasses”

-“You look like you have autism. Are you vaccinated?”

-“When did Haydar become friends with Emily?” “In hell”

-“I know you have something to do with Filbert”

-“Ayo beans check”

-“Who cares about beating the game‽ I’m a goose.”

-“You can’t make contact lenses out of cranberries”

-“cannabalism is for beans”

-“You know the party is lit when the epileptic kid starts doing the worm”

-“Imagine getting stabbed to the beastie boys”

-“I CANT TORTILLA MY CHOCOLATE MILK”

-“Pure drip”

-“The All Mighty King Tuggle Wuggle the Original... The 5th”

-“It’s a drink.” “Coal?” “I’m sorry who the heck is drinking coal??” “It’s heroin.”

-“Is climate change good or bad?”

-“I’ve had to keep her from stealing my toes for so long”

-“Apples are delicious, babies are not.”

-“It’s like I’m exfoliating my knuckle”

-“We are literally just birds.”

-“I’m slowly transitioning to emo. Today I’m wearing navy blue, tomorrow it will be black.”

-“Omg Aimee why are you such a try hard” “Oh my god Ava why are you orange?”

-“Wait what the fuck does crashing a funeral have to do with driving?”

-“Why are blonde people driving???”

-“That house looks like stephen king” “its super thicc?”

-“If you don’t do your homework, they are legally allowed to steal your cells”

-“Why would digging up graves be a problem we have to cover during a spa day??”

-“I would commit neck rape”

-“he looked at me and I looked at him and I was like ‘genocide’”

-“like Klaus, from Klaus”

-“SANKADANKA”

-“facism is also gender neutral”

-“I mean we all knew that the birds just wanted the body to be gone!”

JUNIOR

-“you know what they say in chemistry”

-“I got it from bed bath and behind you”

-“A two line poem. I see a frog. My heart: 💕❤️💓💗💕”

-“who needs a straw when you can suck it out the hole?”

-“I wish I could get neutered”

-“eggs are so well named”

-“You’re not a fandon? We don’t standon.”

-“If you’re horny just walk it off”

-“potatoes and molasses, there is inequality between the classes!”

-“save the tiddies”

-“I think I could explain socialism” “okay do it” *doesnt do it*

-“what part of no interruptions does Trump not get?” “The english part”

-“my knees how they crackle like rice crispies”

-“the planet is dying you fucking walnut”

-“do you think I’d be able to avoid conversion therapy?” ”no you look dumb as shit have fun at camp.”

-“the US military uses 738 billion dollars per year, and we can’t dunk the moon into the pacific ocean? Where are our priorities? Disgusting.”

-“I hope he dies on my birthday”

-“the doctor’s sewing you up and you’re like ‘harder daddy’ and they just leave you to bleed out on the floor.”

-“I don’t know what your parents do for a living” “I’d have to kill you if you found out” “oh he’s a conversion therapist?”

-“Peaning, pregnancy, protection.”

-“Being railed and math are two totally different things”

-“Aren’t all white people just german strokes?“

-“the pickles are tasty tonight, don’t you think?”

-"Gay people have feelings too! I mean those feelings aren't valid, but they have them!"

-“Grapefruit is the Wild Kratts of roblox”

-“My lungs are rejecting christianity”

-“Lettuce cereal”

-“get zooted”

-“why are they doin that to my boi Eric Snowblower???” “... do you mean Elric Stormbringer??” “Yes OMG hi futon”

-“Milk towel (sent with gentle effect)“

-“nose haemorrhoids”

-“my favourite colour is bitches”

-“THE LESBIAN FISH WHATS HER NAME”

-“You’ll have time to pull moose daddy”

-“The more you beat it the bigger it gets”

-“Were you wa today??”

-“oh uh slaves are now horses”

-“tarnsgender is a lifestyle”

-“not me misgendering my dishwasher”

-“Kiss! Kiss Kiss!”

-“its a regular human but you can open it up and take a shit inside of it” “like a kangaroo”

-“kiss kill marry, good piss boy, eric snowblower, michael”

-“if you don’t wanna strike the set, strike yourself.”

-“did you listen to waterparks in middle school or have you had sex?”

-“he said his pullout game is strong and he’s only used a condom six times” “tell him he needs the practice”

-“its a didney movie”

-“I already have a dick so I’m good with the foot sucking, thanks!”

-“I don’t misgender you cause you changed your pronouns I just misgender you cause you have pronouns”

-“made a joke and nobody laughed”

-“You’re a socialist gray shut up”

-“dont straddle my dog shes a child!”

-“chloe, kim, kendall, kourtney,,, the genders”

-“which constellation looks most like a dick”

-“I’m being intimate with my pudding. Only my pudding loves me.” “Yeah but it feels a little violated”

-“vending machine, easy bake oven, and ramen are the four food groups?”

-“mom I found your tinder”

-“doesnt this baby look like it would grow up to be hitler?”

-“anti smack”

-“I said no farting”

-“I’m at the point in this trip where I want to make out a little with every dog I see.”

-“I’m worried about your mom right now” “I’m worried about the dogs”

-“I’m going to start streaming” “awesome I’ll watch you! I’ll download Tinder”

-“jesus is coming are you clenching?” “Did you mean swallowing???”

-“Today when I said I had an image to show you and you came to look at my phone I wasn’t on Instagram yet and I was worried you were going to see that my last google search was what is a craisin”

-“My username is deep_seated_fear_of_geese”

-“Savour the flavour, uncle”

-“potential energy this, kinetic energy that, when will anyone start paying attention to the most important energy. dumb bitch energy”

-“Happy easter i guess i don’t know why the heck jesus likes eggs so much” “Jesus has an egg obsession” “And he has a bunny fursona””

-“Cause I’m kinky for color coding”

-“I’m going to name my child Brad. With a silent gh. Braghd”

-“Headcanon that Prince Philip died because he saw unsolicited feet pics“

-“I kin prince philip”

-“theres three genders: kailer, gay tyler, and regular tyler”

-“I swear to god they spent half of their budget making those titans asses so scrumptious”

-“Everything is terrible, can’t magnum dong, repressing my emotions”

-“Master has given dobby plan b. Dobby no longer needs the hanger”

-“I want someone to be just as obsessed with me as my social worker is”

-“You wanted to end the conversation so you decided to be homophobic.”

-“It is commonly thought that there are two types of people in this world, communists and pessimists.”

-“Glass half full glass half empty everyone shares the glass”

-“I thought it was about to be something sexual about slushees and I was like: 😃?“

-“Piss on, I know how to have sex.”

-“Sarah we’re making milf jokes wake up”

-“Its like im having a panic attack but I cant stop making kink jokes”

-“good old fashioned jesus?” “I said gay sex”

-“the straggot and the slurs”

-“grandpa has had way too much time without his meds”

-“You’re gonna find ur special someone bro ❤️ or someone to raw you idk what you’re into”

-“Do you wanna represent conversion therapy?”

-“Don’t punch me! I’ll get a boner”

-“I’m known to frequent elementary schools at night”

-“ever since I found out there were ants in baked beans” “WHY ARE THEY THERE? JUST BAKE THE BEANS!”

-"aaron burr shot hamilton which is kinda kinky and im not into that" "i guess he forgot to give him his safe word then huh"

-“we can’t make these jokes tomorrow people will think we’re fucking crazy” “nah man people will just think we’re FUCKING”

-“this 14 year old just looked me straight in the eyes and said drill me daddy-o”

-“they piss on you when they’re comfortable with you. Thats how it works”

-“are penguins fish or mammals?”

-“car washes are traumatising”

-“it’s okay gray has a 22 year old sugar daddy”

-“I get vored easily and yeehaw”

-“You get really stinky when jade honks for bill”

-“Jade needs a shit sleeve when she honks for bill can we go dunky now”

-“not the llama,,, the liQuid”

-“I’m allergic to jesus”

-“if you cant see stuff in your head how come you can vacuum?”

-“dont be a whore drink instead”

-“pain is temporary, existence is temporary, we’re all temporary”

-“I did not know veggie tales was religious”

-“you’re a sussy baka yes sorry now can we watch the video”

-“I assumed everyone in tech is gray”

-“skyrim wasn’t bad I just wanted fussy”

-“im not gonna get a shrodinger kink”

-“those crocs are bitchin”

-“you seem so put together” “it’s just the shoes”

-“capitalism is my sugar daddy”

-“when aang is riding someone do you think he says yip yip

-“Capitalism breeds innovation? How bout you breed this bussy”

Senior

-“Ollie: Can Jewish people eat the Lorax?

Jillian: Yeah. He is canonically a Nazi you know

Ollie: …Are you implying that nazis are kosher?

Jillian: Yeah how do you think we won the war dumbass”

-“I wanna get manhandled”

-“chryssy is SO thicc. Thats why benson loves her.”

-“are we still meeting autism?”

-“so what im hearing is you stole my prostate??”

-"Benson doesnt have a liver? What about her alcoholism problems!”

-“do [squirrels] have beaks or are they flat?”

-“ I feel like I’d fall into a pond.”

-“I didn’t come”

-“Cis piss”

-“YOU GRABBED HIS JICK?”

-“Everytime I come out as ace people send me all their ace stuff” “omg thats what I do for my italian friends”

-“I wanna be someones thyroid problem”

-“Yeah you could go to bobby about your skin cancer”

-“I feel really pregnant right now”

-“stomachs love diluted slim jims”

-“benson is a milf”

-“aj just gave birth to me” “how?” “teamwork”

-“the universe is nothing but a collection of corpses”

-“tight shaggy”

-“the moonwalking bear will come back to haunt you”

-“You forgot your jizz in the shop”

-“Please be a monster fucker”

-“Wipe the milk moustache off your face because I can’t talk to you”

-“the moonwalking bear will come back to haunt you”

-“You forgot your jizz in the shop”

-“Please be a monster fucker”

-“Wipe the milk mustache off your face because I can’t talk to you”

-“Mr. Hands is my safe-word”

Freshman pt 2

-“nah this isn’t true love this is smash or pass man”

-“the more swords the more smash”

-“virgin??? Like VIRGINIA??”

-“He’s really going ham on him”

[heartbeetz]

Grrrrrr sooo impatient waiting for the last couple weeks of the term to end. I've had a sketch of swatch and terri sitting in my art program for so long and I want to finally have time to finish it

[polnareffrights]

omfg my back

[languor-em]

I have very mixed feelings about the Daedric prince Nocturnal because on one hand she's almost singlehandedly responsible for the death/serious injury/traumatization of a whole bunch of my favorite tes characters, but on the OTHER hand- I'm a lesbian.

[disappointed-and-depleted]

Me Being Bored and Fucking Around on the Incorrect Quotes Generator: Everything That Made Me Genuinely Laugh (my standards are very low, I'm sorry)

Asmodeus: We both look very handsome tonight.

Iruma: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you."

Asmodeus: I couldn't handle that.

-

Clara : I’m doing what I can to jog your memory.

Sabnock: It’s jogging, I guess. Its tiddies are jiggling a little.

Clara : Nice.

‐

Lied: ...This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?

-

Clara, bursting into the room: You two are having sex!

Iruma, not looking up from their book: Really? Ameri, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

-

Iruma: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look?

Asmodeus: Like its slips on and off really easily.

Iruma:

Asmodeus: No, I didn't mean it like that-

Lied: We know what you meant.

-

Clara: That shirt looks great!

Asmodeus: Thanks.

Clara: But I bet it would look even better on Iruma's floor.

Iruma: Are you hitting on him... for me?

-

Asmodeus : Can you cut me some slack, Iruma? I’m sort of in love.

Iruma: I’m sorry, but that’s not really my problem.

Asmodeus : I’m in love with you.

Iruma: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

-

Iruma, throwing their head into Lied's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!

Lied, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

-

Kerori: *seductively takes off glasses* Wow, you're... blurry.

-

Asmodeus : You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.

Iruma: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Asmodeus : I said within reason, Iruma. How about I murder that guy?

Iruma: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?

Asmodeus : Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

-

Clara: *sees Asmodeus and Iruma together*

Clara: They're cute. I would put them on a boat.

Lied: You mean... you ship them?

-

Kerori: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

-

Lied: Like they say, "If you can't beat them, curl up in a ball and protect your organs."

-

Iruma: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward.

Lied: I’m worried about you.

-

Iruma: You’re not jealous, are you?

Asmodeus : No!

Iruma: Good, ‘cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful.

-

Kerori: I warned you.

Kerori: I'm perfect.

-

Asmodeus : Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Lied : If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

-

Clara : *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*

Lied: Where did you get that?

Clara : My pocket.

Lied: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?

Clara : Skills.

[equinoxum]

CURAXU RATES GENSHIN LADIES

welcome to part two where i turn my attention to the women of genshin also reminder that I haven’t played since Xiao’s first banner so. have mercy.

rating of genshin men HERE

Aloy: i know NOOOOOOOOTHING about her. she’s cute tho.

Amber: petition for the community to stop shitting on Amber. i can’t play her because i’m bad at bow characters but she is so dear to me.

Barbara: has saved my ass more times than i can count. love her. 

Beidou: sexy pirate lady goddamn. carries my party. i think she could benchpress me and that’s incredibly hot you don’t even understand. she is what i want to be. i would kiss her.

Diona: funny little cat girl... beloved. also cannot play her because bow character but i would kiss her little head if she would permit it.

Eula: i have no idea what is happening over here and i am too scared to ask. pretty eyes though.

Fischl: can we get a no fear shakespeare edition just for what comes out of your mouth. i love you but what the FUCK are you saying to me. 

Ganyu: beloved... stunning... beautiful... absolute cutie. deserves the world and all the qixing flowers she wants.

Hu Tao: i like your funny shenanigans graveyard girl. calling Zhongli “peepaw” gets her like several bonus points its so fucking funny

Jean: i pulled her randomly at one point and went HOLY SHIT. someone please get this woman a nap and a pay raise.

Kamisato Ayaka: pretty ladyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. yeah. 

Keqing: first thing she did with her vision was try to break it. icon. i think that’s so funny. god gives you superpowers and you go “fuck you, actually.”

Klee: MY BELOVED... ABSOLUTE TANK. i think she should be given more bombs, actually. let her invent nuclear warfare, she’ll use it on the fish.

Kujou Sara: bird. i know nothing about her i’m sorry.

La Signora: bitch (affectionate) rest in piece girl 

Lisa: once was told that she calls herself your big sister in other translations and that lives in my head rent free. the death flags tho. girl. uh oh.

Mona: a PREPARED QUEEN. took one look at Scaramouche and went “absolutely not”. i like her hat. every Mona cosplay I’ve seen was stunning.

Ningguang: should be a five star i swear to god. literally my favorite catalyst user. the only geo user i can manage. if i put more obstacles on the battlefield i’m going to die. also she’s sexy as shit.

Noelle: promote her you fucking cowards. she deserves it. she could ALSO benchpress me.

Paimon: wish they didn’t change Paimon’s voice. they are dear to me. i like their funny little words.

Qiqi: i’m going to kiss you on your little head and give you the best day ever.

Raiden Shogun: i think if i looked at her wrong she would take me out back and shoot me. tiddy sword tho. she should’ve been a sword user. 

Rosaria: i swear to god they said she was a fucking vampire at one point. what happened to that. i have the same energy about my religion as she does ngl.

Sangonomiya Kokomi: PRETTY DESIGN... i know very little about her but i think she could probably kill me?

Sayu: baby... nap time.

Shenhe: SEXY..... LOVE the homicidal rage. best auntie probably.

Sucrose: tell me about your cool science experiments miss... you are very sweet and cute.

Xiangling: the original pyro polearm. the original polearm. the bestest <3 

Xinyan: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH i think she and Itto would be besties. i want her to play music for me. 

Yae Miko: sexy. stunning. if she teased me i think i would explode.

Yanfei: cutie.... legally blonde energy. fuck it up girl.

Yoimiya: who are you. cute design.

Yun Jin: also know nothing about her. pretty tho.

[shotorozu]

hii so i saw your requests were open so i was wondering if yo could write confort angst with bakugo denki and hawks and a small boobs/flat chested reader who gets bullied for their body. it's okay if you don't feel confortable writing it!! thanks in advance

flat chested s/o

characters : bakugou katsuki, kaminari denki, hawks | takami keigo

legend : [Y/N = your name] f!reader, quirk is not specific

fic type : headcanons [comfort, angst]

notes : if you’re concerned about having small tiddies, then just know the many pros to it— no chest pain, better fitting for clothes, and the ability to go braless! (i say this as a chestboard lol) also a lil nsfw with hawks!

≿————-　❈　————-≾

bakugou katsuki

when you express your concern about them, he’ll say “so? why are you telling me this?”

but then proceede to start prodding you for more details

he doesn’t really care that your tiddies are small (if any, it’s because he’s an ass man)

but just because bakugou’s preference is different, doesn’t mean he won’t show love to them

will casually set his large, warm hands on your chest anyway to warm them up

(it’s not even sexual) this is just one of the many ways bakugou shows that he still loves them,

and that he still loves you for you

but he’d do the chest warming trick even if you had big tiddies. it’s just something he likes to do

because he lives off your reaction

will scoff at anyone that makes fun of you for your tiddies because that’s super uncalled for

will go “don’t listen to them, dumbass.” and then he’ll go blow them up :))

because ew, the audacity of some people

bonus! : bakugou likes shape before size. it just feels right for him.

kaminari denki

he seemed so.. stupid, and flirtatious,

but that doesn’t mean he’s always like that! denki actually cares about you a lot.

denki has boundaries, so to say “oh, people like denki bc he’s hot” is just stupid— he doesn’t grope people

denki will probably find out sooner or later about your deep insecurities regarding your chest size

he’ll remember this, and you’ll never hear him say anything too much about your chest. (but rather, positive things.)

though he usually joins mineta’s antics, he makes sure mineta says NOTHING about your body

example!

kaminari was talking to mineta very casually like always, and he was going to step out of the conversation as soon as mineta was being.. mineta

BUT for some reason, mineta moves to make a comment on your body, catching his attention—

the comment was like how you’re basically “an imposter for the hot 1-A girls” and that you didn’t fit in.

he zapped mineta REAL QUICK

i think if he was dating someone, he’d stop with the pervy antics anyway sooo..

if you’re fine with very lighthearted jokes, he’ll make one occasionally— and that’ll make you laugh and forget about your insecurities

but if not, that’s okay.

YOUR HYPE MAN!!

“yuhh get into it, Y/N!”

“denki, i just asked you if you liked this top on me.”

“yes!”

i mean— on the contrary, i feel like denki likes tiddies on the smaller/average size more, it’s just.. a feeling. (but in general, he’s a tiddy man so.. yeah. but!! he’ll love you regardless of shape and size, so if it’s a Y/N tiddy then.. thats that)

hawks | takami keigo

when you tell him initially, he’ll be very lighthearted about the entire thing.

“nothing wrong about being a ‘b’ baby bird!”

“keigo,”

“sorry.”

but when he notices that you’re very insecure, he’s SO quick on acting on it.

the teasing gets lessen a bit, and hawks focuses more on compliments and actions that are near to worship

focuses on them a lot during sexy time, and afterwards— he’ll fall asleep holding them 🤍

oh and his words are not just flattery, he means it from the bottom of his morally gray heart

lots of touches, fleeting or lingering outside everything nsfw.

he’s another person that likes shape after size in a way.

but he loves you for you! so he’ll set aside all preferences for you since he adores you so much.

another man that would give you compliments constantly, basically your hype man

if he feels like saying something to you, he’ll say it :))

if anyone teases you for being flat, he’ll either

a. grab you and fly faaar away from them

b. flap his wings at them

c. respond to them in a very passive aggressive matter, nearly sassy.

in short— he’s a good lover, surprisingly attentive when you put aside the light hearted teasing.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing.

do not plagiarize my work :))

[droolingoverdemonboys]

(un)Dateables and MC’s Nicknames for Them

Okay... sooo to start off I want to say sorry. I haven’t written anything in such a long time. I’m not dead I promise, just depressed. But I’m back now! Thanks to everyone for continuing to interact with my posts while I was gone though! Too sweet ꒰⑅•ᴗ•⑅꒱

Diavolo

-Nickname: Prince Tiddy (cue a very exasperated Lucifer)

-Thinks its really funny/cute

-He feels so honored that MC is comfortable enough around him to give him such a nickname.

-Most of the demons feel a need to keep such a high level of formality with the prince, that he tends to feel really lonely, so the nickname gives him relief that the MC does not feel the same way.

-Is 100% giving you a stupid nickname back.

Barbatos

-Nickname: Barbie (I’m not even sorry)

-Finds it amusing, originally saw it as his name in MC’s phone and immediately teased them about it.

-Prefers MC doesn’t call him this around the others mostly just Diavolo but will allow it, offering a small chuckle or light smile whenever it is used.

-He wasn’t expecting the MC to become very close to him during the exchange program, but is quite happy that MC enjoys spending time with him enough to give him a nickname.

-Won’t give you a specific nickname back, but I can see him calling you different names and frequently changing them. Will use the nicknames to poke fun at you or tease you.

Simeon

-Nickname: My Angel

-Simeon.exe has stopped working.

-A blushing mess. The name probably started by the MC blurting it out at some point, and his reaction caused them to continue using it.

-Thinks it is sweet, and while he might blush when the MC uses it, don’t worry the man absolutely loves it. 

-Also they type to give you a nickname back, but he takes a long-ish time to come up with one. He would eventually settle on something like “Little Bird”.

Luke

-Nickname: Chihuahua BunBun (ya know, because baking? buns? ok I just think it’s cute let me live)

-Get so excited to have a nickname that isn’t something the demons use to tease him.

-Feels proud when MC calls him by this.

-When he first hears it he gives the MC a big smile. However, no one else is allowed to call him this. Not even Simeon he definitely tried

-Might not give the MC a nickname as well. Although he will try to come up with one for a while.

Solomon

-Nickname: Draco (he just gives me slytherin vibes okay? but also, screw jk rowling)

-Thought MC called him this as a one time thing so he just kinda laughed it off. But noooo, the MC still hasn’t stopped calling him this.

-Makes him him laugh to hear it and will respond every time the MC says it by saying “Pottah” as dramatically as possible.

-Doesn’t mind it being used anytime, anywhere. Just keep in mind he will get progressively more dramatic each time the MC says Draco.

-Your nickname is now Pottah. 

[underestimated-heroine]

Fourth General Reference Post!

(sorry if I reblog, it's only to keep from losing this to the sands of time! Also anyone's free to reblog or save this as is the mode on Tumblr Dot Com. Links go to my blog because it's the best, easy way I have to make sure I don't lose posts to deletion.)

General

"Farmers in Third World Countries Live in Destitution" is propaganda framing

If you bring a book to a bar no one likes you tweet & redemption

Criticizing anon hate

Megamind Ridiculous Criticism

Please don't call my girlfriend a morosexual

I'm a stuckasaurus tiktok

The antidote to negativity

Barbie movies link

Reddit AITA Vriska Baby Name

It's me boy I'm the PS5 vine

Writing security/intelligence systems

Knitting Fandom Tech Bros

Structural violence

The moon is my mom

Memphis Citizens Flight Attendant Story

Ooh she thique

Wuickly

Thank u for ur addition

50s Nuclear Dad Pics

"you didn't need to use this many tags I'm not going to lie"

All About Image Descriptions

Chicken Nugget the Butterfly

Man Eating Rice, China 1901-1904

Every Villain is Lemons

Hop Any P@ywa11

Zelda BOTW clip

The US has a higher Gini Coefficient than Russia

Crazed Fan Art Actually Drawn By Original Artists

The "labor shortage" is bullshit w/story

Zoomers don't shave your brows

Weeb Ass Shit Scale

Sites to Make Moodboards

If you have trans kids make a safe folder

Bird wants to chew books but MUST dance

Mustelid German Grocery Store

What fetishization means

RPatz "Playing Batman Was Grueling"

A Lot of Christian Rock is Bad

Thought witch hazel wasn't real

Don't Write without engaging with the source material/genre

JK Rowling name based on your ethnicity reddit thread

Internet culture retconned their harassment

Mizaki Chan cursed post

Firemen rescuing cats

Vaping prose ancient texts

Taking down tanks in an urban setting

Fuming Mums

Why TERFs are Educating Young People & AIDs history

Top Ten Worst Anime Tiddies

Jamil on Cancel Culture Video

TikTok "I hate you"

Important post on the redfish graphic and Ukraine

Hope

Cop Crashes Dirtbike Video

The Chemical Worker's Song

David Allen (Irish Comedian) Bit About Christianity

Supernatural fans know exactly where to find gifs

San Francisco Tenant LGBT+ activist history

This Forest is Old As Balls Legolas

Cartoon Bomb Son

Skweezy Jibbs

Myam myam myam njam njam meep! (Cat video)

Magic Soup Recipe

Better New Batman Tweets

Miyazaki Ableism Zombie AI

The bigger the issue the smaller you write

Koko Foundation wouldn't hire someone deaf

Nude breasts on the TV

SO MANY drawing references

How to have a good internet experience

Personal

Kitty Loves Me but she doesn't want to deal with me

Image text gods

And then they struck me

If I die delete my howrse account

Bashes to bashes

Seabiscuit's legacy

@ healthcare receptionists (workers)

My sister's response to 'red sniper dot is my shadow'

I don't care if you only like my posts.

quit conflating criticism with oppression

If the Queen's really Dead

Howrse Bed a Unicorn

I'd survive cave of two lovers

Should I make the joke ask

J's children story

Stop softly implying anyone you don't like is a pedophile/rapist

JKR "didn't know" with her penname

Husband in the Clown Wars

Wouldst Thou Like To Live Cuntily

Hope you guys don't realize that YA novels are written by adults

Prince Zuko is disagreeable

All crashes happen within the last 8 mins of a flight

Poop Revenge Reddit

Calling all interests fandoms

Twilight Princess My Vag

Murder of Crows and so on

"Delete TikTok it Can't Get Better Than This"

Mutual love affair

Don't push people to smoke weed

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

BNHA characters and their genshin experiences

I've been way into genshin for the past couple months, if anyone wants to play with me message me (I'm lvl 45 rn) but be warned I have shitty internet and am a partial razor main

but this is mainly characters I can see actually putting time into genshin

Bakugou

Mains: Yanfei

his main has probably been most every pyro character at some point

he wants diluc so bad, whenever someone else complains that diluc ruined their pity he wants to ruin their existence

before yanfei his main was probably hu Tao

hed definitely play klee if he had her lmao but he doesnt and is patiently waiting for her rerun

he has a lot of 5 star characters and is f2p, he can always get banner characters within at least the first pity, but for standard 5 stars hes gotten keqing and qiqi way too many times and hes livid

especially as a previous hu tao main, he was begging for Jean, still has yet to come home

hes probably a very high level, not fully maxed out considering he hasnt been playing all that long, he was probably forced to start when the rest of the bakusquad started playing it and he just took off

has really shitty artifact luck though, like his characters arent bad or anything but they could be so, so much better

and ugh hes livid

explores everything, has 100% exploration everywhere, but hes not bored hes still got artifact farming to do and he enjoys terrorizing enemies

in co op he will set you and everything around you on fire. cope.

Todoroki

Mains: Xiao or Ganyu

probably only started playing because Izuku asked him to

kaeya has also been on his team since day 1 and he is never leaving doesnt matter his friendship has been level 10 for weeks now who cares

was f2p until xiao, who didnt want to come home at all, and he finally got him on his 180th pull

now he doesnt care and will buy primogems whenever hes bored

he has a lot of constellations on kaeya and hes so proud of that, probably c4, is considering buying way too many primogems just so that he can hopefully get his c6

now his artifact luck is godly, you'll go into a domain with him and be like ugh I got nothing and hes like I got a 4 piece set with all attack or crit rate/damage main stats like haha I hate you

but yeah his characters are very strong cause of this, but he doesnt put effort into building a lot of them, he only levels up and gives good artifacts to his team and a couple other characters he likes but everyone else just sits there for a while

hes not super obsessed with the game, but he does think its funny seeing bakugou get so upset whenever they do domains together

doesnt even bother doing daily tasks really unless hes trying to save primogems

Midoriya

Mains: Venti

hes so good at building characters, like he looks up builds online and watches those "do INSANE damage with these tips" videos - and he sets out to get them done and he does

bakugou is once again livid whenever they play together, because Izuku barely has to try and can do so much more damage than him

he does have to put in a lot of work for his artifacts though because he doesnt settle for the okay ones he needs the absolute best

he builds his favorite characters the most ofc, but he evenly distributes things to other characters he knows can be useful- those characters might not have insane stats but they're still good

will not kill timmies pigeons, hell hunt birds in the wild for fun though

definitely a food hoarder

also does a lot of exploring and probably has at least 90% for each area

Kaminari

Mains: Lisa

he is 1000% in love with Lisa, he took her quest very seriously

and so many people say shes horrible, he hates it, hes made her crazy strong out of spite

his team consists of only his wifus- meaning lisa, beidou, rosaria, and mona

for a long time beidou was his second but then rosaria came along and hes like ugh big tiddy goth gf, but lisa still remains queen

these are the only characters hes built though, save for a couple like probably razor and xiangling that he used before he fully got this team

is an ayaka saver

he doesnt care too much about most 5 stars but will sometimes get them just to say he has them, but they end up just sitting there rotting away because he never puts work into them

he does have hu tao though and would get ganyu if she ever had a rerun

Kirishima

Mains: Diluc Razor or Beidou

they're all on his team, the last person switches out but it's most likely zhongli or childe

hes all about dps, support who, he just wants to hit hard and do insane damage , so yes he made dps zhongli

except his builds arent that great, with some help his builds are decent, but on his own hell be like ugh that's some sexy 300 damage

probably didnt know what 90% of the stats even meant and just put random attack ones on people and went yeah that looks good

doesnt really care though and is just having fun so hell play how he wants (as he should) but he does have to ask for help when farming bosses

loves exploring but misses so much, hell get distracted easily and end up just messing around

honestly probably hasnt bothered to ascend his world since he got to level 35, if he did the quest hed probably go straight to 45 and even then hed still have extra exp because hes been there for so long oml

but eventually he would have to and hed be trying to do it like :,) this is fine and it takes him a lot of tries but he gets there eventually,,, only to immediately have another one waiting for him poor baby

Mina

Mains: Klee or Xiangling

thinks baizhu is hot (and is correct) so shes desperately waiting for him

was a I must play 24/7 player until after the last story quest, then she got kinda bored but still plays frequently so she can save primogems and likes playing co op

goes into random peoples worlds a lot

shes got some pretty strong characters and is proud of her account

definitely makes tiktoks of her playing with the bakusquad cause it's always v chaotic (it's probably only denki and kirishima most of the time, but sometimes either bakugou or sero will join in)

does all the genshin tiktok trends

shes a pretty high level since shes probably been playing for a while and has most everything done

she loves helping lower level people though she thinks it's so cute and loves the power she feels when she one shots things

Sero

Mains: Xingqui

hes a pretty casual player, kinda only plays when hes bored or the others make him play with them

but his stats arent too bad, they're fairly average but he gets by

has so many primogems because he doesnt bother to wish on anyone, probably wants kazuha though

he does get super invested into the story though, hes so curious about the world and where the story is gonna lead

probably watches a lot of genshin theory videos and now he over thinks everything in the game

he explores a lot, not so much to find every single thing but more so just because he likes looking at everything, hes very excited for all the new places

Shinsou

Mains: Childe

hes a very thorough player, he explores a lot and puts a lot of work into building his characters

most of them arent all that great but he has plans to fix them

his main team is very well built, not the best, but still good

he struggles when he has to switch someone out for a domain or something because his other characters are so painfully mediocre right now and he feels so bad

shinsou, playing a character that can do like max 200 physical damage and biggest damage is like 2 thousand, repeatedly saying I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you deserve so much better, I'm so sorry

even if it's not the worst damage by far, he feels bad about anything under his main team's stats because they're just so much higher

broke. has no primogems. spent them all on childe and his constellations. does he regret it? well he sure does appreciate his c6 so- hell manage

yes he spent real money on his stupid mass murderer who he loves very much

fights childe every day even though he already collected the treasure, he is but a humble simp

probably decently lucky with wishing like he can beat the 50/50 almost every time

Tamaki

Mains: Chongyun and Sucrose

he only started playing recently, probably kirishima got him into it, but he immediately fell in love

kirishima was like tell me when you're level 16 so we can play together !!! and 2 days later tamaki was level 16 and kiri was shook because how the hell did he do it so fast

hates domains, the dread he feels when he realizes the lower level isnt going to give him anything anymore, and he has to move up to the next, and the next,,

asks kirishima to help him only to realize he isnt much help, is too nice to say that so he let's kiri keep trying- one day kiri gets deku to play with the two of them and tamaki almost cries because finally he can get through the level 90 domain and actually get things ugh

cannot get xingqui to save his life he refuses to come home and poor tamaki is so sad he wants him a lot hes even got all his materials saved up

Monoma

Mains: Ningguang

honestly doesnt play all that much but takes pride in making his account seem v good, is a whale

but hes very good at the game, didnt know what the artifacts were for at first and gave people ones based on how they looked but once he figured it out hes fixed them

is a very standard player, logs in every day to do his commissions and use his resin then logs out, he doesnt put too much time into the game and doesnt worry if he misses a day or two

worships ningguang, also really likes xinyan, his other team members are probably venti and albedo

has every single banner 5 star that has come out since he started playing, probably doesnt have klee though and is v upset about it, and is thanking the heavens for all the reruns lately

also doesnt have keqing and wants her a lot cause he likes her

accepts every single co op request he gets, and despite what a lot may think hes actually a very nice person to play with, not toxic at all - unless you're someone he knows then he might be mean to you shshshsh

Shigaraki

Mains: Razor

haha isnt it so odd that they sound so similar haha (if you dont know they have the same japanese va and I'm guessing hed play it in Japanese)

obviously he can be kinda busy ya know being a criminal and all that but when hes not he puts a lot of time into genshin

sadly doesnt have very good luck when it comes to characters or artifacts, but hes doing his best even with 0 primogems and his 50% crit rate

doesnt explore all that much, most of the exploring hes done came from him trying to get all the oculus

his razor is so good though, except that's the only character hes put tons of effort into

except for now zhongli, hes not replacing razor but ugh does he love zhongli

but his other characters are pretty mediocre at best, he could build them if he wanted to, hes good enough at gaming to figure it out, he just doesnt have the time to spend to do it so he focuses on his main team

also (spoiler alert kinda) when we had to go to the wolf spirit to fight the abyss herald and razor was there, afterwards how razor was saying how he was too weak and stuff and was super sad, at that very moment shiggy decided the entire abyss order had to be destroyed - sorry aether (he chose lumine) but razor is more important than you

[memethebum]

ok so when I really like an anime, I try to look to see if the mangaka made anything else if I really vibe with their whole writing style (kinda like how I watched hxh after watching yyh or Samurai Champloo after Cowboy Bebop).

BUT OMFG I CAN NOT BRING BRING MYSELF INTO DOING THAT FOR SOUL EATER AND FIRE FORCE BC WTF OHKUBO

you think I’d wanna deal with this:

When I can hardly deal with shit like this:

I don’t even know the context of the pictures on the top, and do I really wanna? No. It took me a good 2 years to finally get myself to watch Soul Eater so yea no. I obviously love it but the second hand embarrassment I get from some of these scenes gets me so pissed.

And listen I’ve watched a lot of shounen so I’ve grown kinda numb to seeing tiddies and oversexualization and stuff like that. But I gotta draw the line somewhere and I think this might be it.

Also ik a lot of people on the stupid bird app (twitter) say ’’you don’t wanna watch it bc you’re afraid of some tiddies”.

oh so geez sorry that I:

a. am tired of having female characters IN SHOWS THAT ARENT EVEN MARKETED AS LEWD have their bodies drawn/sexualized in an unrealistic way in order to “attract” teenage boys into watching

b. don’t wanna even bother with the hassle of watching when the plot line, according to alot of Soul Eater fans, isn’t even that good (which is kinda funny bc ohkubo didn’t even fully develop Soul Eater). I don’t really like to judge the premise of a story until I give it a go myself, but I’m gonna trust you guys on this one bc yikes

[flying-nightwing]

The Dare

Hi guys! So this isn’t a Dark Fox update but I just HAD to write it once it crossed my mind. It’s really short, but I’ve been laughing about this for a few hours now. This is one for all of you Vine lovers.

Pairing: Batfam x reader

Word count: 1134

Warnings: A few swears from Jason 

Summary: What happens when the bat children get bored at Bruce’s galas?

“I dare you to do it”

You raised an eyebrow and looked up at Jason, seeing the clear challenge in his eyes. The rest of your brothers had the same expression, sniggering at the dare they had thrown your way. The Wayne family unfortunately had to be present at all of Bruce’s galas and parties, but you would always find a way to entertain yourselves despite being stuck with the most boring people ever. Lately, you had been on a sequence of quoting as much ridiculous vines as possible while talking to the elite of Gotham. Memorable moments included notably when Tim pointed at the doves at the Peace Memoriam inauguration and yelled “Look at all those chickens”, as well as when Dick eloquently said “I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me” in Gordon’s face while recounting a made up detective story. That’s when you found out he was immune to your nonsense, having gone through it all already with Barbs.

“Sure” You shrugged. 

“And it’s gotta be said straight faced, when he’s around people, Gordon doesn’t count as always” He added. “Gotta be talking with at least three witnesses or I’m calling it offsides”

“You think I won’t do it?” You replied, chin high. You were always game.

“I know you won’t do it” He teased. “I’m so sure, I’m betting 350$ cash and doing a month of your chores on it”

“Oh, I am definitely doing it now” You laughed at his attempts to make you quit. 

“No way, you know you’ll be forever grounded if you do” Dick scoffed, crossing his arms and glancing at Bruce, who was seemingly having a pleasant conversation with some donor or something. “300$ and two months of chores you’ll chicken out and back down last second”

“Okay, okay” You nodded. “Anyone else wants to bet against my odds?”

“Sorry, I don’t think you’ll go through with it” Tim smiled sheepishly. “150 and three months”

“Dami?” You faced your younger brother.

“Oh leave me out of this” He rolled his eyes, disinterested. “I’m not risking getting in trouble for any of you”

“Alright so that’s a bet on you from the Demon” Jason concluded, clasping his hands together. “Now, showtime!”

You raised your nose at his evil grin and sniffed. “Just watch me”

You walked confidently toward your adoptive father, taking deep breaths so you wouldn’t seem off. You would get in so much trouble for this, it was all that echoed in your head. But at the same time, it was a small price to pay to prove once and for all your superiority to your brothers. You glanced behind you to see that they all had their attention on you, arrogant smirks on their faces, watching carefully for the moment you’d back down. They were in for a surprise, that’s for sure.

“Father” You smiled at Bruce when you came up to him, interrupting the conversation he was having. It didn’t seem that important anyway, with the way he twirled his whiskey and rested his hand in his pocket. He was barely listening. You made sure to count your witnesses; the Prescotts, a man with greying hair and one other with thick glasses and untailored suit. Four of them, bingo.

“Hey, is everything alright?” He asked, making a gesture at his conversation partners to excuse him of a moment. Okay, maybe you did look a bit off.

“I… Have something to tell you” You said, taking one last deep breath. Yup, this was it, the last nail on your coffin.

Bruce nodded, a crease forming in his eyebrows. You knew he was now suspecting something, with good reasons. He would be a fool not to, especially when his most mischievous kid was behaving weird. He had learned that lesson the hard way, but no previous experience would have ever prepared him for your next words. Making sure all five people could hear you--not that it was hard since they were all listening intensely already--you ripped the bandaid straight up. Here goes nothing.

“I put a whole bag of jellybeans up my ass”

You could have sworn you’ve never seen anyone go from confusion to horror so quickly. It was like he was frozen in place, unable to form any type of thought in answer to that. You glanced quickly at the four other people, seeing them sporting the exact same expression. You cleared your throat and forced a smile again.

“Anyway, good talk” You said quickly before spinning around and speed walking back to the boys.

They were all gaping at you like fishes, beside Damian who was still uninterested. Of course all of them could read lips, so they knew you had done it. And even if they didn’t, Bruce’s expression was pretty self explanatory. 

“I…” Dick trailed off, still trying to process the fact that you walked up to the richest man in Gotham, whom was also you father, and told him where everyone could hear that you put a whole bag of jellybeans up your ass. They wouldn’t know it was from a vine either, which made it even wilder to him.

“I believe I owe you an apology, you madwoman” Tim said, visibly impressed “But you are also, might I say, dead. The second this party’s over”

“Worth it” You grinned, still replaying Bruce’s expression in loops when he realized what you had said. Man, if you could have taken a picture of that.

“Grounded forever” Dick repeated in a whisper, shaking his head. 

“Ah, yes, but” You glanced at Jason, who hadn’t said anything yet. You wiggled your eyebrows at him and took a step forward. “I believe I’m owed, what was it again, 350 bucks and a month of chores from you” 

You faced Dick. “300 and TWO months from Richard”

Then finally, Tim. “And 150 plus three months from you, Timothy. So that makes, wait, let me calculate, ah yes, 800 bucks and six months free of chores”

“Yeah, you better take that to buy a new identity and move to Russia, because Bruce is gonna kill you” Jason finally spoke up, scoffing in disbelief before a grin slowly crept up his face. “You’re fucking crazy you know that? Sayin’ that to Bruce fucking Wayne, you gotta have steel balls”

“Thank you” You smirked proudly, grabbing an hors-d’oeuvre from a passing tray and popping it into your mouth. You glanced at Bruce behind you, who looked like he was trying to explain your behaviour but not succeeding. His neck was red, and his movements awkward. Definitely death penalty for you. “But I’ve got one for you to save you ego, Jay Bird”

“... I’m listening” He hummed, leaning slightly forward.

“It’s simple really” Your grin widened in mischief. “Picture this: Selina and Barbecue sauce on my tiddies”

----

(For those who don’t know this iconic piece of work, here’s the vine)

[clumsyracconking]

A villain?

Ch.2 (1236 words)

So here we are again same warnings as chapter one, angst and drugs.

It occurs to me that I forgot to mention that the commission does not exist cause Hawks didn't deserve that, home boy was adopted by a hero after his dad was taken away and he still has major issues. 

Tags: @keigo-a-gogo @magical-girl-04 @imacowboy3

“Where are you??” Hawks texted Dabi “Boo!” Dabi yelled coming up behind Hawks as Hawks’ instinct took over and he tried to elbow Dabi, Dabi managed to dodge “oh fuck I’m so sorry!” Hawks said hoping to not get cremated “it’s fine shit happens, plus it’s not like you actually hit me” the only thing in Hawks’ head now was a single thought saying what the fuck “I like this Dabi much more than the one that usually threatens to kill me.” Hawks added with a small chuckle “yeah don’t get used to it, I’ll let you in on a secret I’m already kinda high.” Dabi said letting out a belly laugh and smiling for the first time since Hawks had met him “Jesus Dabi, whatever it doesn't matter you said you'd pay.” Dabi looked up smiling once more “fuck yeah I did” his voice deepening a bit. As the two men made there way to the bar Dabi walking behind Hawks, Dabi for the first time actually took in what he was seeing, Hawks was wearing a long sleeve nirvana tee with some ripped jeans much like Dabi’s, Dabi found it weird as fuck to see Hawks without wings, it felt wrong in a way. As the two found a good spot Dabi took the lead knowing the bar better than most, Hawks unbeknownst to him was staring at Dabi in his black muscle shirt and jeans much like his, once Dabi stopped and realised Hawks had been staring at him he leaned in and whispered to Hawks “like what you see birdy” Hawks gulped thinking now he would definitely be turned to ash “damn I’m not gonna kill you, loosen up a bit birdy.” Ah yes loosen up, how the hell was he supposed to do that he was literally hanging out with a murderer “alright birdy pick your poison.” Dabi said jokingly “I’ll take a black russian” “bitch do you really need that much energy?” Said Dabi “whatever” said Hawks as Dabi left him in the crowd to go get them drinks from the bar “well damn I coulda come with you” hawks said to no one but himself. He had waited for 10 minutes before Dabi found him again “oh thank you” Haks said with a surprised tone having half expected to be abandoned “don’t sound so surprised” Dabi said sipping his what looked like whisky “whisky?” Hawks asked “yeah whisky why do you ask” said Dabi feeling slightly attacked “dude chill I’m just trying to make small talk.” Hawks mumbled “you gotta speak up birdy” Hawks responded to Dabi’s statement by taking a sip of his drink and putting a cigarette to his lips silently asking Dabi to light it, as Dabi light Hawks’ cigarette he looked at him curiously “I can’t read you” Dabi told Hawks waiting for a second before saying “I don’t like that, but I also find it intriguing.” Dabi said “if we’re gonna have this conversation then I need to have at the very least 3 more drinks.” “Fine I’ll get you 3 more drinks then” Dabi remarked which just made Hawks laugh “you are persistent aren't you” Hawks said slightly out of breath from laughing. A few hours later the two of them were shit faced heading to Hawks’ apartment after last call. After they got there Hawks decided he wanted to light up, of course using Dabi as a lighter, as the two men passed a bong back and forth giggling like children at a meme compilation video Dabi decided to pull up in the middle of the video Hawks in his cloudy state of mind decided to yell out “so there I was barbecue sauce on my tiddies!” Making Dabi laugh louder than he had in years, as Dabi had finished laughing he decided to go and raid Hawks’ fridge as he opened the fridge it looked barren “dude where the hell is all your food, all that’s in here are monsters” Dabi yelled back to the living room where he though Hawks was “first of all what the fuck why are you yelling I’m right here” he said hoping up to the kitchen counter “and second of all who said you could take my food?” “I said I could take your food” Dabi replied with a snarky tone in his voice “ya know, we should dye your hair I think it would be fun.” Dabi stated “ok I might not be sober but fuck no, the people love my luscious locks, maybe once I’m not a hero anymore take away all the remnants of the hero they knew.” Dabi just looked in awe at Hawks. He had completely forgotten about the whole hero conundrum “damn birdy that’s a pretty brutal thought pattern you got there.” Hawks just looked at Dabi “I mean sometimes it be like that” Hawks said moving to lay down on the counter “it do” Dabi added. Dabi leaned down closer to Hawks asking “you high enough to talk now?” Dabi asked “fuck it I have nothing better to do, but I can say no to certain ones.” Hawks said getting up to reach for his liquor cabinet “it won’t be that bad you dramatic bird” Dabi said chuckling “alright number one why do you have pictures of what looked like arson on your phone” Dabi asked in an alarmingly calm tone “well you already answered it, I just think fire is cool, I mean that question coming from you seems kind of crazy honestly.” As Dabi laughed at Hawks’ response he tried to chuckle out the words “fair point” but failed miserably, once Dabi was done laughing he asked his next question “so what’s with the pain killers, I feel like I’d be a shitty person if I didn’t ask.” Dabi said not necessarily looking for an answer but trying to show Hawks he wasn’t a heartless bastard “some habits aren't easy to kick, I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.” Dabi kind of admired Hawks’ willingness to be honest forgetting Hawks was high “I understand that” Dabi responded “look as much as I love this, the counter is uncomfortable as fuck and I wanna lay down in my bed.” Hawks said taking another rip “fine come on, lead the way” Dabi said looking at Hawks sprawled out on the counter “carry meeee” Hawks said dramatically going limp “I fucking hate you” Dabi muttered picking him up “what’s that I couldn't hear you, you gotta speak up flameboy” Hawks said flopping his head back and laughing “yeah yeah, which room is your bedroom?” Dabi hissed Hawks was light but he wouldn't stop moving it was like trying to strangle an eel “the one all the way at the end” Hawks mumbled now trying to snuggle into Dabi’s chest “my God, you're too snugly n’ shit.” Dabi said not really sure how he felt about the man snuggled to him, as Dabi reached Hawks’ bedroom door he opened the door and threw hawks on his bed, after Hawks had gotten himself situated Dabi asked his next question “so why a villain, couldn't you just quit?” Hawks pondered for a bit “well it’s a few things one of them is that I want to feel alive and be risking my life for any reason I want, not just some foot soldier.” Dabi looked at the man wrapped up in a nest of blankets asking himself what made him get to this point, and who hurt him “I want cuddles come here” Hawks mumbled sounding kind of like a toddler Dabi wasn’t sure what to do he didn’t really do the whole cuddle and human contact thing, before he knew it feathers had pushed him into the bed “damn you and your feathers'' Dabi said loud enough only for him to hear as he begrudgingly laid down next to Hawks trying not to touch him, Hawks of course not caring about boundaries put his head on Dabi’s chest. Dabi’s breath hitched as he felt Hawks’ head on him, after mumbling a few illegible words to Dabi Hawks’ breath had evened out and Dabi knew he was asleep.

[deathgasm00]

Then, so be it. - Izuku Midoriya

Izuku Midoriya x Fem!reader

Warnings: Suggestive themes

Word Count: 3811

A/N: This is my first drabble thing, so i apologize in advance if it’s terrible 😅 I can only get better with practice right? I’m also interested in doing a part two if this gets any attention!

It is a reader x Izuku but i don’t like Y/N so i will name the character.

Mizu Iyashi

Quirk: Hydrokinesis. The ability to control, manipulate and alter the molecular state of water, freeze water, or evaporate water into clouds of mist, steam or fog. Also able to heal wounds using water.

~

“Okay! How do I look?” Uraraka asks, tugging her pink shirt down a bit to accentuate her...assets.

You examine her from your seat on her bed, a twizzler hanging from your mouth. Tonight was movie night in the common area, more specifically, the last movie night of class 3-a. Three tough, long years have gone by and you loathed not having everyone around anymore, as being with them has become second nature to you.

“Spanks?” You question her outfit of choice, pointing your twizzler at her pale buttcheeks poking out from under the skin tight shorts.

“Yes, why? What’s wrong with it?” She asks you with worry laced in her tone, her hands touching the exposed parts, turning to look in the full length mirror.

“Nothing. It’s just more showy than anything you’ve worn before, I bet he’ll do the thing where he gets all red in the face and stiffens up. But you have to hold his arm. Put it between ya tiddies.” You laugh into your hand at the thought.

“I hope so! I’ll be offended if he doesn’t. I’m gonna go plus ultra tonight!” She grins, puffing her chest out in the mirror.

“Alright love birds, movie is about to start!”

You look at the doorway to see Mina peeking into the room with a smile on her face.

Everybody would be lying if they said they weren’t sad that this is the last movie night. You all had grown so close together, became a family. Sure, it’s not the last time you’re going to see each other, but it’s most likely the last time everyone will be in the same room. Hero work is busy work.

“Alright, we’ll be down in a sec.” Uraraka chirps while sliding on her socks.

“Are you going to make a move tonight?” Mina whispers excitedly, shuffling into the room with her hands clasped in front of her.

You slightly frown to yourself, looking to Uraraka for her response even though you already know what the answer is. But a girl can dream sometimes, right?

“I plan to. If everything goes good!” She giggles, grabbing onto Mina’s hands while bouncing in her spot.

You loved Uraraka. She was your best friend. The first friend you ever made at UA, so of course you wish her nothing but absolute happiness. And if her happiness was Izuku Midoriya, then so be it. But you can’t help but let the thought of them together tug at your heart strings.

You felt a spark with Midoriya the moment you first healed his fingers the best you could, after his fight with Todoroki during the Sports Festival. The way he stared at the glowing water in wonder, then stared into your eyes and told you how grateful he was and how amazing your quirk is. It almost made your heart explode, never having anyone be so sweet to you like that before.

But you know Uraraka felt something for him the moment he saved her life during the entrance exams. And she saved his life in return, albeit smacking him across the face, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

“Alright Iyashi, are you ready?” Mina turns to look at you as you stand up, adjusting your leggings further down your ankles.

“Yup.” You smile and loop your arms in theirs, walking down the hall side by side. “What about you, Mina? Are you going to make a move on Kirishima?” You tease her, leaning your head onto her shoulder.

She huffs and shakes you off her shoulder, her pink skin darkening at your question.

“No! i-i mean...i don’t know?” She sighs “i think so. I don’t want to miss the opportunity and regret it.”

You nod at her answer, understanding completely. Missing your opportunity is one of the worst feelings, and you would know considering you’ve been missing opportunities for three years.

“I know you can do it. He obviously likes you, so. Nothing to lose at this point…” you grumble while stepping into the elevator and pressing the first floor button.

“Iyashi, is there something you want to tell us? You know what’s weird, every girls night we have ever had, you’ve never admitted to crushing on anyone.” Mina points out, looking at you smugly.

“Are you asexual?”

“Maybe.” You shrug at her with a blank expression, biting back the smile threatening to take over your lips.

“Are you serious?” Uraraka touches your shoulder, her eyebrows furrowing, upset that you may have been hiding your sexuality from her this entire time.

You’ve been attracted to others besides Midoriya, but they never seemed to last. Todoroki for example. You were gonna shoot your shot with him but he was too oblivious to notice your advances. So you gave up.

Smiling, you shake your head, putting your hand on Ochaco’s. “No, i’m not serious. I did try to get Todoroki’s attention a few months ago, but he didn’t notice.”

“He’s so clueless it’s embarrassing.” Mina says, rubbing her forehead in thought. “You should try again tonight. I mean look at you, in your little tank top and leggings, are you even wearing a bra?” She squints her eyes at your boobs.

“No, I hate bras. And honestly I’m not that into him anymore. We’re better off as friends.”

“What about Bakugo? He’s easy on the eyes.” Ochaco says with a laugh, the elevator doors opening to reveal the man in question.

“Took you extras long enough. Hurry the hell up already!” He shouts, his signature scowl on his face. You stick your tongue out at him, ready to push every single one of his buttons before tonight is over. “Shouldn’t you be babysitting Kaminari?” You tease him as you walk out of the elevator, preparing yourself for an explosive smack to the side of the head. “Tch...Idiot.” He mutters, a smirk on his lips as he walks away, Mina following behind him to get to Kirishima.

“No.” You respond to Uraraka. Trying to date Bakugo would be like trying to tame a wild rhino. Impossible and a waste of time. “He’s got a temper that’s only good in the bedroom.”

“Not wrong there.” She agrees, eyeing his retreating figure. “I always wondered what that would be like.” She admits to you with a small laugh, a blush dusting her cheeks from the confession.

“I feel like we all have.” You also eye his figure before smirking at Uraraka. “But at least he’s not nearly as angry as he used to be…” You point out, remembering how bad his temper was the first time you met him.

“Well hello ladies.”

You look to the side then down, searching for the voice. Mineta coming into your view as he leans against the wall, a smug look on his face. “Lucky I ran into you, I put on a special shirt today. Wanna know what it is?” He looks up at you and raises his eyebrows. “Boyfriend material.” He answers, not even giving you a chance to speak.

“Oh really? I thought it was a size T3 from Baby Gap.” You retort, popping the P.

“So mean!” He whines, gripping the shirt in his hands.

“There he is. Wish me luck!” Uraraka whispers and rushes past a snot nosed Mineta, making her way to Midoriya who was standing in the kitchen, having a conversation with Sero.

You lean against the wall beside the elevator and shoo Mineta away as you watch their interaction, watching as she grabs his arm and grins at the two boys.

“What are you doing?” A quiet voice mutters by your ear.

You glance behind you at the face hovering over your shoulder, also looking at Midoriya and Uraraka.

“Just lookin’ around...What’s up Iida?” You ask, looking back over to your two best friends. You frown at how red his face is from his arm being in between her breasts, jealousy wafting off of you.

I wonder how his arm would feel between my boobs...or lower.

Shaking your head as if it will make the dirty thoughts disappear, you turn to Iida who’s staring at you with curiosity.

“You like Midoriya, don’t you Iyashi?” He murmurs, a frown tugging at his lips at your messy predicament.

It doesn’t surprise you that he asked. What does surprise you is that he’s the only one that’s noticed. You’ve never been caught gazing at him during training, watching how strong and skilled he is and practically drooling over his muscles. Or how you’re the first person to run and help him during a battle, ready to heal his wounds and watch his back.

“I do. But i can’t.” You whisper, glancing at Uraraka. “She liked him first...It’ll just be easier to get over him once we graduate in a few days...” you explain, your heart dark and heavy at the thought of trying to get over him.

“I’m truly sorry, Iyashi. Why don’t you come sit down with us? Have an amazing time on our last movie night!” He beams, pushing his glasses up his nose.

You smile at him brightly, warmth blooming in your chest. “Of course.” you whisper, walking beside him to the vacant couch. “Time went by so fast, It’s hard to believe this is the last movie night.” You say, watching everyone grab their snack of choice and make way to the living area.

Flopping down on the couch, you hug a pillow to your chest and scoot over, making room for him. He sits beside you, a solem look on his face as he glances around at his classmates. “Perhaps we could plan a reunion of sorts further down the line. Maybe try to have one every couple years or so.” He suggests.

You nod your head in agreement, relief washing over you at the thought of reunions. “Great idea Iida! That would be amazing, we’ll have to bring the idea up to everyone.” You grin at him, squeezing the pillow tighter in excitement. You’ve always been a very sentimental person so the idea of having small get togethers every couple of years makes you jittery. Every so often is way better than never.

Soon enough everyone gathers around the TV, blankets and pillow forts all around, people stacked on top of others. Kaminari had squeezed himself between you and Tenya, forcing you to just throw your legs over the both of them. The movie menu sat on the screen but nobody moved to press play, chatter and laughter bouncing off the walls.

“I never did that! No I didn't! BAKUGO DID THAT!” Kirishima playfully defends himself, leaning forward and pointing at the stunned blond across from him. Laughter leaves your mouth making him chuck a pillow at your face.

“BECAUSE HE ANNOYED ME!” Bakugo shouts, a vein protruding out of his neck.

“You blasted him so hard his p-pants flew off!” You cry out, holding onto your stomach for dear life as you recall that day. Kaminari had pissed Bakugo off so badly by saying “get rekt” during training over and over, he eventually blasted his ass.

Kaminari blushes at the memory, moving around uncomfortably at the attention he’s receiving. “Come on, guys. It hurt…and Midnight saw my bare asscheeks...” he mutters in embarrassment, covering his red face.

“I need a picture of all of us. Everyone get closer!” Mina demands, setting her phone up in front of the TV and setting the timer to ten seconds. “TEN SECONDS! PLACES PEOPLE!” She shouts, running towards the couch and jumping on Kirishima’s lap, much to his surprise.

You quickly jump to your feet and run towards Uraraka and Midoriya on the floor, squeezing in between them you wrap your arms around their necks and shove their cheeks to yours, a giant grin on your face.

Her phone snaps the picture as the timer hits zero, a flash lighting up the room. You turn to look at Midoriya to make sure he smiled, your eyes meeting his. You gasp in surprise at the close proximity, close enough to see the freckles scattered across his cheeks and how his eyes always seem to glimmer even in the dimmest lighting. You blush deeply and jerk your face away from him, muttering a small apology while removing your arm from around his shoulders. “You two better have smiled.” You joke, shaking off the awkward moment and give Uraraka’s shoulder a playful squeeze.

Suddenly feeling a little too hot, you stand up and rub your chest to try and calm your rapid heartbeat. “I’m going to get a drink, does anybody want anything?” you ask, walking around the couch and set your hands on the back of it.

You hear a mixture of no and no thank you’s, and a small “you” from Mineta, which you ignore.

You walk to the fridge and open it, a smile on your face while you listen to the shouts and explosions going off, sounding like a normal night to you. You grab a bottle of water and shut the door with your hip before spinning around coming face to face with Midoriya.

You jerk back, slamming the back of your head against the fridge and grab it in pain. “You scared the fuck out of me!” You hiss out, repeatedly rubbing the aching spot for some sort of relief.

He grabs onto your shoulder and holds onto your hand that’s now stiff as a rock on the back of your head, goosebumps traveling all the way down your body.

“I’m sorry! I thought you heard me.” He exclaims, but his apologies fell on deaf ears, the only senses taking over being smell and touch. You’re still up against the cold fridge, eye level with his chest. You feel your heartbeat in your throat as you inhale his scent.

Cotton flowers and...bergamot.

You tilt your head back and lean it against the refrigerator, your hand fisting the bottom of your tank top that suddenly feels way too aggravating on your taut nipples which are centimeters away from his rib cage. You slowly open your eyes to meet his beautiful green ones, tears threatening to fall from the frustrating desire flooding your system.

“Did it hurt that bad?” He asks quietly, smoothing your hair on the back of your head in a comforting way, but he doesn’t realize he’s just making it worse.

Tears slide down your cheeks in frustration at your own weakness. You’d do anything to be able to press your lips to his. To run your hands through his soft tresses of hair. At least you think it’s soft…

It looks so soft.

“Yeah, it hurts. It really hurts. I’m sorry but i think i need to go lay down.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, cracking in some spots. He frowns deeply at you, feeling at fault for your pain.

“Let me walk you to your room.” He insists, gently tugging you away from the fridge but you place your shaky hands against his chest and lightly push him back. You can’t allow him to walk you to your room. It’s taking everything in you right now to not cuddle and ride him at the same damn time.

“No. Midoriya...enjoy the movie night please, i’ll be fine. Thank you though.” You say a little stronger this time, ignoring the way his saddened eyes looked you over. You walk past him and towards the elevator, stepping into it once the metal doors open. You click the second floor button before facing the wall and lean your forehead against it, gripping tightly onto the metal bar at your hips.

Finally letting the tears and sobs flow freely once you hear the door close, shutting away your friends laughter. You mentally curse yourself at how weak you’re being. One encounter with him basically had you on your knees. Pathetic.

“I’m so fucking stupid.” You whisper.

“You’re not stupid Iyashi.”

You freeze in your spot. Of fucking course he would follow you, what else would Izuku Midoriya do?

“What are you doing here Midoriya? I told you i’m fine.” Your voice is hoarse yet steady. You can’t slip up now, not after three years of trying not to. 

“You’re not fine. It’s not your head either Iyashi, now tell me the truth, what is wrong? You’ve been acting funny for the past couple months, did I do something to upset you?” He steps forward and places a hand on your shoulder to turn you around, his heart breaking at the sight of your tear stained face. How broken your eyes look.

“...You did nothing wrong but that’s all i’m going to say. You shouldn’t even be here you should be down there with Ura-“

“Is that what’s making you upset? Uraraka?”

You close your mouth in surprise, averting your eyes to your socks. What are you supposed to say? You can’t lie to him, he knows you too well.

“It is. Why?” He says it more like a demand, your eyes snapping up to his in shock at his change of tone. He takes a step towards you and grabs your shoulder before squeezing it. “Iyashi... Please tell me.” He pleads. His eyes look just as desperate as yours, just as desperate to hear the answer as you are to say it. To finally get it off your chest.

“Midoriya I-“ You take a deep breath before slowly releasing it, your body trembling. You feel like you’re betraying Uraraka by muttering these words. Nothing can go back to normal after you say them... “I’m in love with you. Izuku Midoriya.” You choke out, your blood running cold but your body felt like you just ran through the flames of hell.

His eyes widened in disbelief and confusion, struggling to swallow the lump in his throat. “Wait...Wha-“

“This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you! I knew you’d never feel the same. So I stepped back and cheered on Uraraka to go for it...for years I did! But I...I can't anymore Midoriya, it hurts so bad…” You sob, biting the back of your hand to try and silence the pitiful sounds. “To love you, and watch her make constant moves on you, to listen to her say things about you that I could only dream of saying out loud. It kills.”

His eyes fill with tears at the sight. He had never seen you look so broken and it made his heart ache. The need to hold you in his arms grew with every tear that fell down your cheeks and every sob that echoed in his ears.

The elevator doors open and you quickly walk out of them, hastily wiping away your tears, hearing his footsteps follow behind you. You shakily open the door to your dorm room, stopping by the balcony window to stare outside. You wait for him to enter, knowing he’s not going to drop this anytime soon, but terrified to hear what he has to say.

You hear the door click closed and the shuffle of feet getting closer to you. You take a deep breath before speaking up, ready to tell him everything.

“I never told you, because Uraraka, Yes. But also because you work so hard. You’re always occupied with becoming the number one hero, I never want to get in the way of that. You wouldn’t have time for me.”

“How could you possibly know that? Why would you just assume that, Iyashi?” He asks, grabbing your hand gently as if he’s afraid he’ll break it. Caught off guard by his bold move, you turn to him. He’s angry. That much is obvious. His eyebrows scrunch at your silence, reaching forward he grabs your chin between his thumb and pointer finger, forcing you to look into his eyes.

“Answer me.”

“i don’t know Midoriya.” You pout in frustration, knowing you shouldn’t allow him to touch you, but you can’t seem to shake him away. You’re just craving more. “I just do, okay? Am i wrong?”

“You are…-“ He leans his face down to yours, the tip of his nose brushing against yours. “Absolutely infuriating.” He mumbles, his voice low and dangerous as he stares deeply into your eyes, a deep blush across his nose and cheeks at how confident he’s being.

You tremble under his gaze, feeling so open and exposed without having to take a single piece of clothing off. You raise your shaky hands to his chest and fist his shirt, your lips parting in a silent plea to be met with his own.

You stand on your toes and try to lean towards him, tired of waiting for something you’ve wanted for so long. “Please Zuku…” you whimper softly. 

He tilts his head back slightly in surprise at the nickname, his eyes softening as he admires your beautiful features, your half lidded eyes staring into his own with matching desire but also matching fear. This is so new to the both of you, and deep down you’re still thinking about hurting Uraraka. Neither one of you wanted to hurt her, but you can only ignore your true feelings for so long. And if he didn’t have feelings for her, why push him in that direction?

He grabs your face in his shaky hands, goosebumps igniting along his skin when you grip onto his back in an attempt to bring him closer to you.

“For years we both have done the opposite of what we want, just to please everyone else. Just so we don’t hurt anyone else. But we’ve been hurting ourselves the entire time…” He says quietly, eyebrows furrowed in frustration. “You think I didn’t notice you always staring at me? The way you’d always run to fight by my side before anyone else? Or how your hands always got to my wounds before I even noticed they were there? I’ve always noticed you...you’re the only one I’ve ever noticed.” He admits, his eyes searching your face for any signs of anger for him not saying anything sooner.

“I just didn’t want to say anything...I was scared I might’ve been wrong, but now I’m starting to regret not speaking up when i should have.” He adds, a coy look on his face as he averts his eyes from yours, his confidents slowly fading every second you stare at him.

You blush deeply as he spills all the things you thought nobody noticed and at his confession of you being the only one he’s ever noticed. But of course he would notice. He’s the most observant person you have ever met. “I was hoping you hadn’t noticed. I figured you wouldn’t or maybe just think I was being a good friend...” You let out a small laugh, your hands absentmindedly rubbing circles on his back.

He smiles softly at you, his thumbs stroking your cheeks. “Why wouldn’t i notice a beautiful woman giving me special attention?” His voice is shaky. He’s nervous, yet so excited to hold you like this. To have you want him as much as he wants you.

Your breath catches in your throat at his words, tears filling your eyes again. You can’t believe he knew everything. You can’t believe he thinks you’re beautiful or that he likes you too. You feel like you’re floating on cloud nine as the wall that you built to keep your feelings for him held inside crumble down around you. With just one touch, he destroyed years of hard work. Maybe you could have him…maybe Ochaco would understand. You’ve understood and kept your distance for years. You always put her first. Why can’t you come first?

“You’re right. I want to put myself first for once. I want you, Zuku.” You say gently, pressing your body closer to his. The feeling of his chiseled body pressed against yours was pure heaven, molding together in a perfect fit. But it still doesn’t feel close enough.

He sets his forehead against yours and gazes into your eyes as he gives you a small nod of confirmation, slowly pulling your face closer to his.

“Then just for once...let’s be a little selfish.” He whispers, the feeling of his breath across your heated cheeks making butterflies erupt throughout your stomach. He runs his hands into your hair, fisting it softly as he leans down to your height and lightly brushes his lips against yours. He smiles softly against your mouth before fully pressing his lips to your eager ones.

You sigh into the kiss, the tears that had built up rolling down your cheeks as you close your eyes and pull him closer to you. Your lips move together in a sensual dance, the taste of salty popcorn salivating across your tongue as he gently strokes his tongue against yours. The softness of his lips mixed with the eagerness of his kiss makes you dizzy with lust and deaf to the sound of desperate knocks on your door.

For once it’s just you two together, in your own little bubble. For once you feel absolute happiness...and if your happiness is Izuku Midoriya.

Then, so be it.

[abbeyfangirl]

dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum. 

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so. 

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.