#and despite knowing like. my age and how much real experience i have left to learn

[skyeateyourdonuts]

mkmkmkmkmnnnnn

[florapocalypses]

Sting me once, shame on you.

Sting me twice, shame on me.

[🌊] CONTEXT ; Experiment gone wrong !!! Reader is a jellyfish, dottores experimenting for a way to turn them into human, Readers immortal and also fembodied or they just have tiddies, Both reader and dottore are meanies, Labrat x Scientist relationship? is it even a relationship??

—Pre-Context abt reader ; Reader has no gender for this one, they just have tiddies wether their man tits or breasts. also they have no puss or dick, their lower body is just legit looks like a jellyfishes body.

°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°

Its been several years. Knowing how you've lived in 'safe' waters, you didnt worry about death much. It was a long, quiet two houndred years alone in the deep sea of teyvat that you've spent all alone.

Untill he found you.

You never went above the waters, staying a safe distance from the mortals that lived on land.

The Fatui took you away, sending you to a lab within snezhnaya. Surrendering you to a blue haired fucked up looking 'Doctor'. He never told you what his name was, nor did he ever look consistent. Some days he looks as if he was in his late 30s, other days he'd look around 20. Whats up with that? You wondered.

You wont complain much though, you have your own personal and private little area or 'pool' was what the doctor said. Letting you do whatever, in exchange, he'd run experiments on your body.

It was obvious that it cant be the same doctor that you kept talking to, with how different he acts every time he checks on you, and how his age changes.

Are all humans like this? You wondered.

Nonetheless, despite his inconsistence, he still seemed to have one goal.

"Have you ever wanted to become a human?" The Doctor asked, his hands behind his back. You could feel his grim eyes on you.

His hands cautiously touched your stingers, accidentally brushing against the bulb and triggering you to shock him.

"Tch," His eyes narrowed, retracting his covered hand. Thankfully he was wearing a full-body suit this time, you already poisoned three of his younger clones. He walked from you as the other clones from behind the glass watched and took notes. The clones hand had twitched as he walked away from your pool.

You looked up at him from the pool, "Its not my fault, Did he not tell you to be careful where you touch?" You mocked the older clone as he left.

Its been several hours, numerous experiments have been going on one after the other. You want to be human, Dottore wants to 'study' your species, its a win-win in your eyes.

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

[⛲] NSFW incoming , dw its kinda light !! (kkukuukukuku 'inCOMING' kekekekekek)

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

Your dull eyes glanced over to the metallic doors, hearing shuffling from the other side.

The doors opened and surprise! Its another clone— you think, but this one doesn't have that one tube thingy that the previous ones wore. Eh, maybe its somewhere more discreet. No way the real Doctor would come in without any protection while there weren't any clones outside of the glass window. Right?

He motioned you to bring your upper-body forward to him, And you did so with little to no reluctance, as you went closer you examined him for a moment. Eyes narrowed as they practically scanned him.

Oh, it isnt a clone. Its him

"[REDACTED]," Dottore called out your name with a faux softness, unable to read his expression and intentions as his crow-like mask covered half of his face. Flicking your forehead when you slightly leaned forward at the mention of your name. "Quit being such a pest."

"Ouh—" You whine, glaring at him, pointing your stingers in his direction. "Why did you even come here unarmed??" You question.

"Because its my lab??" Dottore replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he rolled up his sleeve. Revealing the many stings, scars, bruises, and scratch marks that covered his hands up to his forearms.

"Another experiment?" tilting your head slightly as you looked at his hands on his lap. Placing your palms at the edge of the pool.

"Precisely, though i trust this one wont have anything to do with 'our' goal, just a reward for your good behaviour, Dear Pet." He said, pulling you up and sitting you infront of him. Your cold, wet back against his clothed chest.

"Oh..?" Looking up at him with your hand on your lap as he pulled you closer to him. Your body dripping and making the floor beneath you slippery. "Oh!" You let that sink.

You waited patiently as his hands unwrapped the cloth covering your chest, holding your hair away as he focused on undoing the wrappings. You let out a soft exhale as the pressure and tightness of the bounds were loosened then removed, his hands taking their place as he gave your chest a slight squeeze.

His chin rested on the top of your head as his fingers ran circles around your chest, massaging and caressing each surface. Dottore releases a quiet hum as he did so.

"Look at me," The doctor said, to which you unquestioningly obliged. Dull eyes locking in with his covered ones. Grabbing your chin and forcing your mouth open as his lips ghosted above your own, "Open." He commanded.

Sticking your tongue out as he ran his against yours, eyes closed as he continued to play with your chest as his tongue abused your own.

"Doctor—" You murmured, your hands gripped on his lap for stability. Feeling his enlarged shaft against your lower back. "Can i..?" You muttered inbetween the kiss.

[🌊] What a lovely question <3 Your so considerate !! (i want this fucker tazed)

[cookie-nom-nom]

How to Kidnap Bruce Wayne in 6 Easy Steps

The Batfam decided to have a nice evening together. They had it all planned out. The Joker was JUST put into Arkam, Harley and Poison Ivy were having a date night, and they sent the Riddler a 5k puzzle piece, so they should have a few hours. Hopefully.

But then entered...the comedian. Not a knockoff Joker, mind, an actual comedian serving as the entertainment for the night. The kids were running a bet on the odds of Bruce laughing. Not actual laughter, naturally, but how many fake laughs Bruce would decide to manufacture. Dick maintained it would be 8 times at most, despite what the others thought.

And then a PowerPoint presentation started, with the words Bruce Wayne emblazoned behind the comedian. "Brucie Brucie Wayne. Local philanthropist, runner of jobs and charities and orphanages. Gotham's number one eligible bachelor if and only if you like kids. But Ladies and Gentlemen and Folks, I'm here to tell you otherwise. Because this right here? It's alllll a mask. I know the real Bruce Wayne, and I have the proof to reveal his secret identity."

Bruce was very carefully keeping his eyes on the performer, refusing to acknowledge the eyes latching onto him, or the occasional covert elbows.

The comedian dramatically flourished the remote and changed the slide. A stock photo of a man littering had Bruce's face crudely photoshopped over it popped up. "See! A menace to society! And I have an extremely reliable witness who swears that the recycling bin was three feet away. Tsk. Some people just want to watch the world burn. Which maybe I'd be okay with since we Matched on Tinder, and yet not a single spark despite how much chemistry we'd have!" A wall of unanswered Tinder messages of bad pick-up lines and far, far too many winky faces filled the screen, all sent to a profile claiming to be 'Bruce Waine'. "This MONSTER left me on read! Can you believe it? Ghosted. And that definitely isn't on me, because my Mom says I can make anyone swoon. Who do you trust between the two? Wayne? Some millionaire who could never relate to your everyday experience?" The slide flipped between Bruce suavely dealing with paparazzi and a sweet older woman. "Or Mom, who can make wonderful potlucks, whereas we all know the Wayne Manor has nearly burned down on three separate occasions thanks to Brucie trying to use a toaster!" Technically all villain attacks, but the public needn't know that.

The Wikipedia page's list of philanthropic acts and charities sponsored by Bruce Wayne scrawled across the screen, the comedian gesticulating wildly. "All this?? PROPAGANDA! This is what he WANTS you to think! When in reality, he's a two-faced, duplicitous, littering, puppy-kicking monster who REFUSES to answER MY TEXTS, IT'S NOT HARD! I'M FUNNY AND HOT AND--!" The comedian paused in frothing at the mouth, as if suddenly realizing the audience was there. They straightened, pointedly adjusting their collar. "We all know the true darkness that lies behind his friendly, ditzy, sexy façade. And so our goal is simple: we are going to kidnap this menace for the wellbeing of Gotham (and my love life)."

Step 1: Become an orphan.

"Alright, the first step of Plan 1 is simple. Now that you're an orphan..." the slide changed with a silly transition animation.

Step 2: Irreversible and extensive surgery.

"Now this step is a bit expensive but-" they feigned a surprised face at the protests in the audience. Planted, no doubt. "I'm sorry, what's the hold-up? We don't have all night! This is literally the first step and you already have questions?" The comedian gestured wildly in the direction of the Batfam. Bruce narrowly avoided recognition thanks to his fondness for sitting menacingly in the shadowy corner of the room. "Seriously! There're KIDS in the audience! They're far too young to know how easy it is to get tragically orphaned at a young age and left with no stability and an empty hole in your life to be filled with grief, rage, and fear!

"Sheesh. Some people have no consideration for the faint of heart. Think of the children! Literally, think of the children you will be infiltrating." A flick of the remote and Step 3: Infiltrate an orphanage popped up. "We all know the easiest way into the Wayne household is adoption. Now that you've gotten extensive surgery to appear like a child, the hard part begins.

"Little is known about the entity known as children. I have put together research to aid in your mission. You need to know how to walk, how to dress, how to speak. Do you know what rizz is? Can you dab on command? One mistake and you're dead. You can fool the hearts of men, but children will rip a poor performance to shreds. I should know, I was bullied severely on the playground every time I tried to bring up the question of what the deal with airplane food is..."

The comedian went on, detailing the absurd plan to trick Bruce Wayne into adopting them. It hinged entirely on the fact he was a well-known moron. The Batkids found great glee in piling on the jabs as the comedy bit went on. Step 4: Marketability analyzed the various personalities and attributes of the Batkids to extrapolate how to lure Bruce into adopting the infiltrator, highlighting key traits like 'small' 'looks like a drowned cat' and 'a glare that is really terrifying for a baby to have'. Bruce found that portion almost tolerable, given some of the kids turned upon one another in something akin to a feeding frenzy. But it wasn't long before the full brunt of their teasing returned upon him as Plan 1 concluded with Step 5: Buying rope and duck tape while not looking suspicious and Step 6: Using flower language to apologize (for the abduction).

"...Alright. So, maybe you don't have the funds to shorten the length of your leg bones. Or maybe you don't have black hair and blue eyes. I get it, re-dyeing is messy. If Plan 1 is infeasible for your budget or lifestyle, then I've kindly considered a second revenue of attack."

A massive picture of Batman filled the screen. The crowd descended into mayhem. "Oh don't tell me the entire audience believes the butts match! We're conspiracy theorists here, but I thought you had STANDARDS!" It was possible Bruce's face was going to freeze in that perpetual rictus. Dick waved a hand in front of him, not sure when he last blinked. "Come on people! They're clearly different people. Which is why I'm going to recruit Killer Moth to do a little crime. All the funds that would've gone to child surgery can now be injected directly into the criminal underworld. It's basically the same thing our taxes do but faster! I've thought this through. Killer Moth will do anything for a price and you won't like actually be in danger. I mean, can you imagine dying to some D-tier villain? Cringe. Anyway, this is your 'in' with Batman. He saves you and it's all very heroic. And then you start chatting, maybe get his number; it's going great. It's been a few months of him rescuing you over and over again, and hopefully you haven't died or whatever. At that point you bring up Bruce Wayne. I mean he's getting kidnapped all the time! It has to be incredibly inconvenient for Batman, and he deserves a break for all his hard work. So the next step of this plan is to convince Batman to kidnap Bruce Wayne..."

.....................................................

The comedian paced backstage during intermission, rehearsing the next segment. It seemed to be going well, a good-sized audience. There was one group in the back that was particularly uproarious, save for one adult in the center. But then, the comedian was suddenly surrounded by children who seemingly melted out of the shadows. "I don't think you are supposed to be back here. Are you lost? Do you need help finding your parents? ....wait, shouldn't there have been guards...?"

"Didn't see any," Tim shrugged. Hard to, when they were strung thirty feet up in the rafters of the auditorium. "Anyway, we've just been adoring your act. Our Dad? Not so much, though."

"Eh, can't please them all. Some people just put celebrities on the craziest of pedestals."

"More like he's listening to someone ramble about trying to kidnap him." Beneath a mask a mile thick, Dad was writhing in mortification.

The way the stages of grief so clearly filtered through the comedian's face was fascinating to watch. "..........Bruce Wayne is in the audience?" they asked weakly. "Like. Right now? Watching? Waiting to ambush me with lawyers?"

"Dad's in the bathroom." Batman was desperately out on patrol to avoid his family's heckling.

"Actually, I don't think he's caught on that you're talking about him yet." Jason grinned evilly.

"Man, I heard he was a bimbo but I didn't know it was that severe. My condolences, truly. Thank god the second half of the interview is about trying to plan a dinner date that doesn't get ruined by supervillains. I do NOT need him coming after me for slander. Uh. You aren't offended, right...?" They could not afford any type of lawsuit. Or controversy. The comedian stuck to petty Twitter bait, not actual problems.

The hoard of children beamed. Suddenly, the comedian realized the exits were cut off. A teen's arm looped around theirs, another surprisingly firm grip across their shoulders. "Nah. Actually, we had some suggestions. How'd you like to do a live interview...?"

.....................................................

"Alright folks, you're never going to believe this, but during the intermission I was cornered by children. It was terrible, I was having flashbacks to second grade..." an artistic shudder. "But thankfully, these ones just wanted to harass me after listening to me ramble about trying to seduce and/or kidnap their dad for the last half hour. Can we get a big welcome for the Wayne kids! I'd introduce them but they all look identical to me!" A fantastic roar of applause at the sudden special guest segment. "Luckily, these kids have graciously elected to let me interview them so that I have better data to act on when trying to kidnap their dad. And is he in the audience still...?"

"Nope! Still in the bathroom. Has been for thirty one minutes."

"Either he needs to see a doctor or he's locked himself in again. How often does that happen?"

"At least twice a month," Jason grinned. It wasn't an infrequent excuse to explain disappearances.

"One wonders how he survives. I like that in a man. Now, quick question. Which of you is the cutest?"

"Damian!" the hoard chorused. The youngest one snarled at once, rounding upon the others. The comedian scrambled away in what was unfortunately not a particularly exaggerated fashion. There was pure murder in the twerp's eyes.

Luckily, three brothers restraining him appeared to be enough. "Don't worry he has his rabies shot yearly," one smirked.

With cautious steps, the comedian approached where Damian was being dangled like a baby kitten. A few moments of examination, and they delivered the verdict that Damian was, in fact, a precious baby boy. The child hissed nastily. "Look at his beautiful eyes! Adorable. You could just get lost in them. Which is why I plan to print out approximately 30k pictures of this child and plaster Bruce's entire room with them. He'd never be able to leave, absorbed in his adorable adoptee."

"I'm his only biological offspring!" Damian snapped, literally. Dick had to jerk out of the way to avoid losing his fingers to the chomping child. "And that would never work!"

"Really? Doesn't he keep little picture rolls of you and corner near strangers into cooing over them?" The comedian is passed Bruce's wallet by Stephanie. "Wait, how'd you get this?"

"I took it from Dick, who stole it from Jason who stole it from Tim, who took it to reprimand Damian for stealing it from Dad."

"Wow, he is not observant in the slightest! I feel even better about my odds now. Oh, would you look at that, countless pictures..." They pulled out a roll. And then kept pulling, and kept pulling, the camera roll beginning to puddle at their feet. It was almost like a clown's handkerchief, save the fact the string of photos was sturdy enough to be used as a rope if needed. More than one of Gotham's rogues had been captured under the guise of Bruce rambling about his children.

"How much can he fit in one wallet?!" Something metallic clanged to the floor of the stage, and the comedian held up a pair of expanding handcuffs for the audience to gawk at. "Well well well, looks like I have excellent taste in men. Wait, there's also some pepper spray. When in Gotham, I suppose. Wow that's a concerning number of pocket knives...and approximately 2k in 100 dollar bills-- well isn't this scarily similar to the list of supplies I recommended in step 5! What, did he just hold someone ransom? Wait. Oh my god, that's how he made all his money. It's guilt that makes him a philanthropist! And all this time we thought he was perpetually haunted by his dead parents! WAIT." The comedian let the crowd howl, periodically interjecting as they paced the stage with grandiose graveness. "I have had an epiphany!" The laughter finally petered out, the comedian allowing the silence to linger. "Guys," they said, deadly serious. "If he made his millions kidnapping people, and I kidnap him....does that make ME Bruce Wayne???"

Batman had to dodge jokes from his kids for weeks afterward.

[oprairierose]

colin’s new personality rakeish personality is not surprising to me at all and it’s something they’ve built up since the beginning

in season 1, after colin announced the engagement to marina, anthony sits him down and is like “you’re an idiot. you don’t know this girl. have you compromised her? this is partly my fault for not encouraging you to sow your wild oats” or whatever and colin’s so offended. because colin’s not like anthony, or most of the men in the ton because colin’s a romantic and truly (naively) believed he loved marina. i don’t think either of them realize how much colin internalizes this conversation with anthony, especially when anthony’s proven right and colin’s left heartbroken

in season 2, colin visits marina because despite everything he cares about her and her well-being. he cares so deeply for people, but this trait oscillates between being good and just being a hero complex. then marina dresses him down, calls him a child too caught up in the past to see what’s right in front of him, and tells him that she has children to protect now. and marina’s right, but it’s like another punch for colin having her tell him so plainly that he’s basically an idiot

in the final episode of season 2 he steps into this savior role with all the bravado of A Man. he feels good about himself for the first time in maybe ages and it’s intoxicating. he saves the featherington’s and will’s club, he hangs out with regency era frat boys who make him feel cool, hell yeah

during his travels he fucks around, sees the world, learns to be Charming. does what is expected of a man. he comes back and basically does more of the same. he’s in toxic masculinity era and it feels good, if not forced. anything is better than allowing himself to be open and vulnerable, because he’s been down that road and it has only ever hurt him

but there’s pen, one of his oldest friends, someone he can be himself around, a woman who is kind and smart and makes him laugh, and the way he feels when he’s with pen only magnifies how lonely he actually is. all they did was kiss but it was the most that he’s felt in months. and kissing pen is better than any sex he’s had because he does care for her. it’s not so much fun anymore to fuck around and hang out with the bros. is this what being A Man is? is being the type of man society expects him to be worth the emptiness he feels? is he willing to throw away the real, fervent feelings he experiences with pen for a life of meaningless experiences?

no, he’s not. he needs pen but by the time he realizes it, she might be engaged to another man

[wibixthecowboy]

Play the Song: Part 1: Meet the Flash

Task Force 141 needs a new sniper and despite their complaints, they're assigned Flash, a joke-making, ABBA-listening, 20-year-old sharpshooter with better aim than the whole team combined. In other words, Ghost is practically handed the love of his life but he needs time to adjust because she's a firecracker.

Warnings/Tags: Age gap (20/30-32), gore, descriptions of injury/blood/wounds, swearing, weapons, literally only fluff and banter, minimal angst, soft baby girl Ghost, asshole Soap, lighthearted, I can fix him he just needs a hug, warning for an excessively bad taste in music, slow burn, protective ghost, family dynamic, big brother soap has an attitude problem, father figure Price, Gaz is just there because he’s on the wiki I have no idea who he is, eventual smut, praise, thigh riding, unprotected (wrap it up people), idk I’m sure it will get dirtier as I go, shifting POV

Side note: All of these characters are fictional! Please don’t be weird about their real life actors, leave them out of this and be respectful! 

A/N: I have been resurrected from the tumblr tombs once again to write about a man that I’ll never have. I have no idea how cod or war in general works and I don’t care enough to learn so enjoy my bullshitting.

Words: 1.5k

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4  Part 5

  ★ Ghost

  It was a hot day in Las Almas, with the temperature pushing almost 100 degrees, Ghost’s single shirt has stuck to the sheen of sweat on his chest beneath the annoyingly thick Kevlar bodyguard and left him second-guessing his faceless persona in desperation to rip the damp mask off. 

   Their sniper was down, and much to Ghost’s displeasure they were on their way to pick up a new team member fresh off the academy grill. The manila folder in his hands was thin, but the few sheets inside were enough to sell her to the coordinator, he had to admit that she seemed impressive but the minimal amount of field experience would have immediately disqualified her as a candidate if it was his choice.  

“Sniper specialist” 

“98% accuracy rate”

“trained in 6 fighting styles” 

“Distinguished Graduate Award and Clements Award winner” 

“Works under special requirements” 

He squints down at the last line, fighting the bouncing of the truck over the rough terrain to read clearly, special requirements. Ghost huffs a frustrated breath at the lack of further explanation and hands the papers to Soap next to him. 

“Do you know what the special requirements are?” He grumbles, eyeing Soap’s hunched shoulders. They had just gotten the call to clear a residency that would hopefully contain the information on the next run and they would be heading straight in with a newbie. No one was happy. 

Soap shuffles through the papers, barely taking the time to skim the words before he’s shoving them behind him to Price in the back seat. 

“Why the fuck would I know? Do I look like the coordinator?” Ghost raises an eyebrow at the attitude but decides to let it go. He knows from experience that poking would get him nowhere. 

Ghost turns his head to Price in hopes of a clearer answer but he just shakes his head and hands the papers back. 

“You’re missing a few pages there Ghost.” Price says closing his eyes and resting against the seat. Soap, suddenly done with the conversation rolls his eyes and turns to watch the sparse rolling landscape out the window.

“This is the entire file, I opened it on the way here.” Ghost retorts, looking down to flip through the paperwork. It takes him a moment to see it but when he does his hands freeze. Signaled by the sudden stop, Price sits up and looks over the seat to read the page in Ghost’s hand. 

“Oh shit”  

 Somehow both of them had missed the single line at the bottom of the first page,

“Missions completed: 0″

 Realization slowly dawns on him, this recruit has absolutely no field experience. When the coordinator said fresh off the grill he meant it. Ghost turns to relay his newfound information to Soap but snaps his mouth shut at the sight of his pissy expression. 

This new realization leaves a pit in Ghost’s stomach. He hadn’t signed up for training, the recruit couldn't be over 25, a vast difference compared to their already existing team. He’d asked for their best sniper, not a child.   

_____

   The van’s wheels grind to a halt in front of the small outpost building and Soap slams the door open, eager to get the process over with. As if on cue the doors open wide to reveal the coordinator and their new recruit. Ghost balks, through the shimmering heat he can make out two shapes, one being the coordinator and the other he assumes is the recruit. The top of her helmet is level with his shoulder pad and with the rifle being half her height, she looks more like a child than a soldier.

“You’ve got to be fuckin’ kiddin’ me. Jesus Fuckin’ Christ that's a child!” Although he wasn’t quick enough to stop him, Price still gives Soap a hard shove to the shoulder. Soap turns around in his seat ready to hit back but Ghost grabs his fist and levels him with a glare. Even with Soap’s strong accent muddying his tone, the words ring clear past the approaching pair. The recruit stands tall though, power-walking through the sand and stopping in front of the open sliding door. 

If it wasn’t for the giant rifle and other military paraphernalia strapped to her chest Ghost would assume he was back at a countryside bar in Kentucky. Her golden blonde hair has been weaved into a thick braid hanging halfway down her chest, framing her freckled face in soft layers and shining in the mid-day sun. The recruit’s blue eyes shone with a wild flare that left Ghost shifting in his seat. Upon noticing a slight gap between her front teeth he feels the corner of his mouth twitch upwards, only to frown at the lack of southern drawl when she finally speaks. 

“I go by Flash, and for your information, my 20th birthday was this summer and I’m probably a better shot than all of you. Now that’s out of the way, are we ready to go gentleman?” 

The entire team freezes in shock at the new and unexpected information. Ghost chokes on his next breath of air and his dignity is saved by Soap’s sudden yell.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN 20?” Flash’s façade falters for just a second at the brute yell before Price is shoving past Soap to get out of the car and stand in front of the pair, blocking them from view. 

Price and the coordinator exchange a few short words before Ghost clears his throat and interrupts.

“No.”

____________________________________

★ Flash

   Flash had been warned about joining Task Force 141, as soon as the news was announced whispers floated around the academy, leaving Flash the center of attention. She was stopped nearly every day to be questioned about the lone wolf Lieutenant Ghost and despite her constant pressing that she had not met any of them, let alone the one known most for his evasiveness, the pestering continued. Flash was tired of being a show pony. She had an itch that needed to be scratched and it wouldn’t happen through obstacle courses and teaching. She needed to be out on the field and she was prepared to do whatever she needed to do to prove herself. What she hadn't prepared for was outright denial.

Everyone’s attention shifts to Lieutenant Ghost, and the man in front of her winces before speaking.

“Ghost it is not up for debate she’s already signed on.”

“Well, fuckin’ take her off then Price!” The loud Scottish man yells again. 

 After an awkward pause, the coordinator shifts on his feet and directs his attention to Captain Price, 

“Captain this decision is final, paperwork has already been filed, and the academy has handed her off.” He clears his throat before speaking “And if I may, Flash has the highest scores of all time on nearly every leaderboard back at the academy, she’s no beginner.” Flash feels a swell of pride and makes a note to thank him later. 

“It’s not happening” Lieutenant Ghost’s voice is cold and has Flash’s newfound pride deflating. So much for making new friends. 

Captain Price sighs before turning to speak directly to Lieutenant Ghost,

“Ghost it seems like we don’t have much choice. Soap move to the back, Flash can take your spot.” He heaves a sigh and Flash can see him bracing himself for a backlash but its not from who she expected. 

“This is utter dog shit, I’m not working with a child!” Soap drops his head into his hands before heaving himself out of his seat and into the back. Flash’s smirk falters when she realizes who she’ll be placed next to but she takes a breath and steps into the van, ignoring Captain Price’s outstretched hand. 

Captain Price shoves himself next to Soap and the coordinator gives them one last salute before pulling the door shut.

   It’s a tight squeeze in the van, the third seat of the second row has been ripped out and replaced with a few precariously balanced boxes, leaving her pressed up against the side of the Lieutenant. Although the sweltering day had given her a rosy complexion the heat of his body made her face flush an even deeper shade of pink. 

 _____

They bump along the road for a bit before it dawns on Flash that she’s on the way to her first mission. She can’t help the grin that slowly makes its way across her face.

“What’s that shit eating grin for?” Soap grumbles from the back seat obviously still sore from being forced into the back. Flash cant help the giggles that force their way up when she spots him glaring at her through the rearview mirror.

“Nothing.” She replies with a simple shrug and drops her gaze down to her lap, still smiling. Ghost’s rigid posture doesn’t relax but when he looks down at her she can almost see a glint of humor in his blue eyes. She stares back, “What?”

“Nothing.” He mimics. 

Maybe this won’t be so bad after all. 

[ficnoire2]

An Ode to The King, Briana Irene Matthews

When I say I love this character, I say it with my whole chest.  I cannot begin to express the joy I experienced when one of my fellow educators passed me this book and said “I’ve got a fantasy book for you, and there is a black girl on the cover.”  I am a child of The Neverending Story, Legend, Willow, etc (Google if you need to) and brown faces were few and far between, if there at all.  There are so many things I admire and appreciate about Bree Bree and the power she holds can’t be understated. 

*Spoilers Ahead so Exit Stage Left if You Need To*

Choices

In a story where choice has been hijacked for so many of our faves, I love the choice she makes at the end of Bloodmarked. To choose herself.  I know there has been controversy regarding this but fuck all that, she said what she said.  The fact that black girls need to be perfect and make decisions that are equally as perfect no matter what they are up against is absurd.  That line of thinking has real world consequences.  I love that she tried to consult with elders, those that came before her.  She seemed to be following this implied protocol that did not bear the fruit she’d hoped for.  

When she says, “I realize now why Jessie’s mantra to call root didn’t work for me.”  She said,  “Think of the power you possess and the woman who gave it to you.” I smile sadly,  “I used to think that woman was my mother, and through her, you.  Tried it her way and it didn’t work.  Because you all didn’t give me my power.”  I kneel to face the streams, thrust my hands into the earth from which they came. 

“I did.”

This was a hell of a scene because she is finally shutting off the noise of the outside world, the distracting chatter blocking her self actualization.  Arthur, the ancestors, the Legendborn, and choosing Bree.  Much like she puts the broken pieces of  Excalibur back together, she is in a sense doing the same for herself (pain welded blade).  It even bears a deep purple stone in the pommel. The color meant to speak to this pain, this literal and figurative bruising and beating she has taken.  In addition, the choice to go with Erebus and the uncertainty that hangs there was pure fearlessness.  As her character sheet says, she is intrepid, bold.  The way she is written, you just know it is in her soul.  As Tracy says in her dedication, For every Black girl who was “the first.”  Black is capitalized here, emphasized, because we are often demonized for making decisions or having experiences that those that came before may not have had the courage or opportunity to step into.  The First.  In Bree’s line everyone ran and she decided to stop running and turn to face the unknown, whatever may come with her chin up.  

In addition to being a clever badass, I loved watching how she navigated her relationships with Nick and Sel.  Again, another hot button topic where folks are clutching pearls and clenching ass cheeks.  I am not interested in “ship wars” but what did catch my eye was the way Bree allowed herself to be loved on.  The safety and soft intimacy she received and craved from Nick in a time where her world had been completely shattered was beautiful to read.  “I’m impressed, despite my still racing heartbeat.  How does he do it?  How does this boy navigate my emotions like a seasoned sailor, finding the clear skies and bringing them closer, when all I seem able to do is hold fast to the storms?”  He is patient with her.  The way he speaks, comforting and protective.  I love that she had this!  The giddiness at that age of meeting someone that makes you dizzy in the best way.  I love that Bree allowed herself to experience the respite Nick offered.  That relationship represents the light in her, hearkens back to a simpler time.

I also think Bree enjoys the challenge Sel presents.  Aside from him trying to kill her in the beginning (and being an all around asshole), she always seems to find interest in him (her shadow side).  “He’s dressed in black, as always, but his long coat is gone.  His tattoos are on full display below sleeves rolled at the elbow.  They wind down his forearms and wrists, and I can’t help but study them.  I wonder how far they go and how many he has before I remember that I detest him and shouldn’t care about his tattoos at all.”  

Bree is fiery (quite literally) and finds herself drawn to the darkness and mystery of Sel.  In truth, she likes to stir the pot.  When Vaughn is giving her shit about being Nick’s page, she intentionally fucks with him.  “But I’m not going to disappear.  And I don’t want to keep my head down.  Instead, I’m going to give Vaughn a glimpse of who I really am, and show him exactly who I’m not.”

She then throws the haymaker, “You’re a bigot and a bully, Scheafer.  You insult me because you think you know what I am capable of, but you don’t.  I must make you nervous, though, for you to expose your insecurities about your odds of success in the tournament.”

Long story short, Briana Irene is with the shits! How many times have you had to check in a loser such as Vaughn, who in all their mediocrity, thinks they are superior?  I love that she essentially says, “aight then.”

I say all that to say that I like that she is feeling her feelings.  She can acknowledge and accept the safety and easiness of Nick, while also reveling in the mystery and chaos of Sel.  Those two desires can (and do) live in the same body.  I love that this is confusing for her and she grapples with it because, what 16 year old wouldn’t! Low key/high key, folks my age would grapple with certain aspects of that but again, her choices.  

Bree is supposed to be complicated. At times infuriating.  I find it strange however, when folks don’t give her the space she has earned to develop.  So many of us Black girls are not afforded this space.  No room to grow, change our minds, or choose a different path.  She is grappling with grief and grief is messy, complicated.  The vessel in which she entered the world ceases to exist on the plane of the living and she is floating in the darkness and uncertainty of that.  “Your anguish is wrapped around your very heart.”   Not to mention navigating racism, sexism, supernatural beings, and understanding her own body and power.  That is a tall order.  She represents multitudes of girls who were “the first” and I am so glad I get to witness her in all her flaws and greatness.  THE KING.  Rumble black girl, rumble.  

[shitpostingperidot]

Kamala Khan’s bookshelves

Kamala’s room in The Marvels is an absolute treasure trove of little details to zoom in on, and I’ve identified so many books on her shelves!

Shelf 1, top to bottom:

1. Landmark Experiments in Twentieth Century Physics by George L. Trigg

College-level book about experiments that helped us learn about x-rays, lasers, isotopes, superconductors, and all kinds of other things I don’t understand. Meant to be more practical than theoretical since it talks about the actual methodologies of these experiments. Could be for school, or for Kamala and Bruno to run their own tests of Kamala’s powers. The first of many books in the Khan house that come from Dover Publications.

2. Space Time Matter by Hermann Weyl

“An esoteric initiation into space time physics” -Amazon reviewer. I’m gonna be real, I don’t understand half the words in this book description, but apparently it’s famous for introducing gauge theory, which was later reborn as phase transformations in quantum theory. I can see this being something Kamala reads to try and understand the bangle transporting her to the Partition. Also from Dover.

3. A Map to the Sun by Sloane Leong

A graphic novel about a high school girl’s basketball team learning to work together despite their many differences and conflicts. Also it has a gorgeous color palette. Seems fairly self explanatory why it’s in this movie. I’ll definitely be borrowing this from my library! Like my friend Kamala recommended a book to me herself.

4. The Good Immigrant anthology edited by Nikesh Shukla

21 essays from Black, Asian, and Minority Ethnic (BAME) people in the UK about their experiences. It was crowdfunded initially, extremely critically acclaimed, and has gotten spinoffs and sequels. Riz Ahmed, who is British Pakistani, is one contributor, and a fun fact is that Rish Shah (Kamran from Ms. Marvel) worked with Riz Ahmed in an Oscar winning short called The Long Goodbye. Also, the editor, Nikesh Shukla, is currently writing the Spider-Man India comics series!

5. Bright Lines by Tanwi Nandini Islam

A coming-of-age story about 3 young adults with complicated family, friend, and romantic relationships between them. They have to travel from Brooklyn to Bangladesh together one summer and thereby discover a lot about themselves. I haven’t read it, but there seems to be a ton of complex representation of LGBTQ, POC, immigrant, and Muslim characters. I wonder how much the three main characters can be compared with our three characters with complex relationships in The Marvels, and I wonder which character Kamala most relates to!

6. I can’t tell! The font is bugging the hell out of me because theoretically, with that amount of contrast, I should be able to read a word when I get two inches from the TV and mess with the settings. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

7. I also can’t tell, but I’m being easier on myself because the title is written in white on a yellow background. It’s not the only book I know off the top of my head with this color scheme (Yellowface by RF Kuang) because the title is definitely multiple words. Help!

Shelf 2, right to left:

1. One Night that Changes Everything by Lauren Barnholdt

A YA romance where, through a convoluted series of events, a teenager must face all of her insecurities in one night. I can see Kamala devouring this as brain candy after wrestling with those advanced science books, or using it as fic inspiration!

2. Can’t tell, but love the color scheme!

This next one is a weird one, because I am 100% sure of what book it is, but I cannot find a picture of a matching edition.

3. Wizard at Large by Terry Brooks

It’s definitely, without a doubt, this book (where a character and a magical medallion are accidentally transported to Earth from another realm and switches places with an evil genie). Like those are the words on the spine and the plot of the book is an obvious choice for this movie. The fonts match on the audiobook, the ebook, and the next two books in the series. But try as I might, I cannot find any proof on the internet that the physical book that appears in Kamala’s room, that uses those two fonts and that spine formatting, exists. This is haunting me…

4. (On the other side of the box) It’s not The Twilight Saga Eclipse, but I definitely thought it was before I could watch in high definition. I think it’s a journal or sketchbook of Kamala’s; there are a bunch scattered throughout the room.

Shelf 3:

I’ve only identified the bottom book, which is Einstein’s Theory of Relativity by Max Born (Dover Publications). The third one up is HAUNTING me, it looks SO identifiable and yet!

Living Room Side Table:

1. Amateur Astronomer’s Handbook by JB Sidgwick (from Dover Publications)

2. Cosmology by Hermann Bondi (also Dover)

Both of these seem less difficult than the science books in Kamala’s room, but reviewers note that it helps to know calculus when reading Cosmology. Idk which member of the Khan family is reading these, but I love their family’s connection to the stars 💫

Tbh I’m having so much fun doing this! And I really wish we got to see Monica’s living space so I can analyze her books 😭

[strugglingatart]

Jr Year ep4

This is me live blogging bc I need to get thoughts out also would love fandom friends full spoilers bellow the cut just so no one accidentally reads anything they don’t want to this will be long

I have wanted most if not all of Zac's and Murph's shirts this season

I still have issues with the multiclass system but also no school thing has made the most sense in universe

I believe you and that's why I'm not saying anything is SUCH a trouble friend mood

"what's the drinking age?" "you have murdered SO many people"

BRENANS FACE WHEN KALINA SAYS I'M NOT BAD ANYMORE OH LORDS

the whole Kalina/Cassandra/Kristen scene is so nerve wrecking and interesting and once again I can talk so much about this topic and I know I have critized Kristen's approach but that's bc honestly I do have issue w it despite understanding it but it does make for an interesting arc and with this conversation it does seem like she believes in this domain of faith on the unknown. I will at some point talk more about from the point of someone who also left a culty religious thing but was still expected to perform similarly once out of it but my thoughts are still not the most organized

that being said I do not trust kalina and i do love cassandra

when you're in the dark I'm there holding your hand why am i crying

not kvx still being a thing lmao so Brennan

oh I just love how complicated but absolutely Bill Seacaster is the whole trust thing, the money going to the nemesees, there being a whole department, honestly that's a department I'd work for it's basically spy and gossip stuff

but also poor Fabian having to go through all this head ache stuff alone

watch Caperslolly Cattlekrush not be a direct nemesis but someone from her party be yes Fabian get that service!

I too keep thinking it is rat ccrushers no t grinders and will absolutely get it wrong

the gorthlax art is PERFECT

my school nurse did not have sweat pants but ok murph(i also absolutely am not from the us idk why i keep pointing out diferences)

they each will have a foil in my head so why just one owlbear contender? also is riz in the bloodrush team?

grinding for xp is so much weirder and terrible imo in this context also should be less effective bc like lbr experience is important like thinking on your feet etc like yes they are probably equal level and Brenan will play them well but they should absolutely not be as good as the bad kids at actual adventuring

I love how they all are so agro tho bc I get it and love the energy and I would absolutely be that mad

YES SOMEONE CALLED OUT THE HIPOCRISY

xp isn't bad if you at least still DO INTERESTING STUFF TO GET IT

if brenan makes them like grinding i will become as agro as the bad kids so far lol

gorthlax gave great advice, that being said i do hope they get a lil bit petty and end annoying grinders

nooo Gorgug (cries) I really want him to do well

listen I am so emo about gorgu's storyline like it's just no thoughts just feels and all of them

listen i don't do character builds but it does not sound to me like artificer and barbarian are THAT ill fitted, like yes the require different focus levels and types but they are also USED in different moments, nothing is stopping Gorgug from using his down time to come up with gadgets that work WITH his strenght and dex and rage and then use reckless abandon in battles. I think even th solar lasso is very much an example of that because it uses his strenghts, he's realing it in with atheltics checks iirc or how his shoes have jump like yes absolutely a challenge and not the most obvious but people are acting like it's impossible when it absolutely isn't

we love Corsica Jones

Riz helping Kristen <3

Brenan is absolutely having so much fun with Ayada's messages

Listen Fig does not need to go to warlock classes, no one in the school knows she is a warlock just do bard and barbarian and help your friend

also i get that procrastination girl

Please I want Fig and Gorgug to work on a song together and for us to get that scene so bad

Aelwynn is a whole entire mood

well that answers me: riz is not on bloodrush

I KNEW BRENNAN MADE THEM STUPID RATS TOO GOOD I HATE IT BUT I LOVE IT

wouldn't detect magic tell riz what enhancements she has? cause otherwise it's nnot THAT useful for spies (which is reason #1 the gadget exists)

oh brennan REALLY made people we will all hate

Yes Bucky I adore him

someone please go home with Fabian

ohhh Brennan put extra stakes at Fig just quitting/failling auegfort since she technically doesn't need it

oh warlock classes are night classes, kinda love that for Fig and also good for her being good at it

also looove the talk about exchanges and that

FIg could make an album out of pressure and expextations that woul be rad as hell

RAGH we love him

LISTEN Ragh should be like party guy, he was absolutely popular and is older and it takes stuff away from the bad kids to do

oh Fabian goes into it immediately we stan

Listen Ally is MASTER of weird ass energies and I love them for it

they truly are such dorks and somehow cool at the same time

I cannot tell if they don't know milkyriver's name or if they are benedict cumberbunching it and I love that

literally everything kalina says is so threatening

also the bad kids should count as followers of cassandra like they are not clerics sure but they ablsolutely belive in her... do only clerics/paladins count?

LISTEN BRENNAN WE DON'T NEED MORE PROBLEMS

oh the shard and red thing that was in one of the arts

oh I REALLY thought they were gonna split party this

I do hope the party still goes well

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Caught In A Web ~ 9

CAUGHT IN A WEB MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 1,815ish

Summary: You end up having to come clean to Natasha and Wanda... but will it end there?

Notes: Please share your reactions!

Knowing that you couldn’t keep your secret any longer from the super-assassin and the mind-reader, you all sat down and explained how you got powers and who you were. You also explained what was happening between you and Tony.

“That does explain why Tony’s been acting less moody and depressed,” Wanda said.

Natasha was still quiet, her piercing eyes studying you. “You’re in love with him,” she stated.

“What?” You questioned. “No! No way. I—“

“Don’t deny it, Y/N,” Wanda smiled, “you can’t hide anything from us. It’s okay. You two would be really cute together.”

You shook your head. “It won’t happen ever. Once he finds out who I really am and how old I am, he won’t go for me.”

“Age has never been an issue with Tony,” Natasha said. “And you clearly don’t see the way he looks at you when you’re around. He either is into you or onto you.”

“Or both,” Wanda added.

You sighed. “I just don’t want to ruin what we have. It’s really good right now.”

“It could still be good. Better, even.”

“Y/N,” Natasha leaned forward for you to better see the seriousness of her gaze, “Tony doesn’t love just to love. Yes, he’s done his fair share of sleeping around but it was never love. His love is so deep and he might show it strangely sometimes, but you know it’s there and you know that you are lucky to be a recipient of it.”

“It’s true,” Wanda nodded. “We feel Tony’s love through the tech he builds for us. It’s strange, but we know he cares. He wants us safe. He may not know the real you or the whole you, but I can tell that he is starting to love you.”

“But he can’t love you fully and deeply like you deserve and you can’t experience loving him either without Tony knowing the truth.”

You sat there, thinking it over. Perhaps it was becoming time for you to reveal yourself to Tony. To take that chance, that leap of faith.

~~~

“Are we any closer to finding that Spider Woman?” Fury asked, standing at the end of the conference table.

“Unfortunately, Director, we’ve had a few bigger issues to handle,” Steve replied.

“Oh, really?” Fury pressed a button on the table causing pictures and video footage of Iron Man and Spider-Woman to appear as holograms over the table. Everyone looked over to Tony who had a blank expression. “Care to explain, Stark?”

This wasn’t Tony’s first rodeo, so it didn’t take much for him to come up with a lie. “I’ve been trying to gain her trust,” he said. Fury rose an eyebrow in question. “She doesn’t trust what we will do to her if she comes to the Tower. I’ve been meeting up with her to try and gain her trust enough for her to come in.”

“It’s a smart idea,” Natasha quickly said. “If she doesn’t trust us, then getting her on our side is pointless.”

Tony turned to face Natasha. “Did you just agree with my plan?”

“I can take it back.”

“No! You said it! You can’t—“

“Despite Stark’s plan, we are running out of time. The government is recommending that we take her in before they do.”

“Is that a threat?” Bucky questioned.

“It’s not an invitation. We need to bring her in before the government goes after her and something worse happens.”

“I don’t understand what the big deal is,” Clint said. “She’s not doing any harm and Stark clearly is working on her.”

“The government feels that her superpowers are too dangerous for her to be left unsupervised.”

“Dangerous?” Sam repeated. “We don’t even fully know what her powers are.”

“They believe she’s useful,” Wanda noted, disappointed in the system. 

“Which is why you have until the end of the week to bring her in nicely, Stark. Or the whole Team goes out to get her before the government can.”

“I really don’t think that’s necessary,” Tony tried. “I have a handle on it—“

“One week, Stark. One.”

~~~

Tony was already waiting for you when you arrived at your usual meet-up spot.

“Hope you haven’t been waiting long, tin man,” you said.

“Y/N, we need to talk,” Tony immediately said, his tone incredibly serious. You stopped, not allowing yourself to come any closer to him. “You need to come back to the Tower with me.”

“What? Why?”

“You need to turn yourself in, and become a part of the Team.”

“I told you, Tony, I—“

“Y/N,” he took the steps needed to get directly in front of you. “I’m serious. The government is after you and if you don’t come with me now, Fury is going to send the Team and—“

“Wait? The Team will be sent after me.” You took a protective step back. “I haven’t even done anything wrong.”

“The government is worried about your powers. They’ve seen video footage of you and they want you for themselves or on the Team.”

You shook your head. “But I haven’t done anything!”

“I know, I know, honey.” Tony stepped closer and placed his hands on your arms. “That’s why you need to come with me. I’ll keep you safe, we’ll take care of everything. You don’t even really have to be a member of the Team. It’s just for your safety.”

This was not how you wanted this to go. You wanted Tony to find out the truth on your terms, not anyone else’s. This was forcing you to do something that you weren’t ready for. Your heart started pounding faster and faster as the anxiety and panic began to take over.

“I… I can’t,” you shook your head, almost panting as you spoke. “I’m sorry.” You ran and jumped off of the roof, trying to swing away as fast as possible.

“Y/N!” Tony called, flying after you. Your swinging was no match for his suit, you both knew that. “Please, just come with me.”

You ignored him and kept swinging, just trying to get away. He flew in front of you, trying to block your path, but you swung under him. Tony shouted your name again as you flung yourself around a corner. Tony was doing his best to keep a safe distance so that he wouldn’t hurt you.

“Y/N! Just stop, please!” Tony requested. “Let’s talk about this.”

You swung around another corner, only this time you were unprepared for the drastic change in building heights. In the midst of your trying to find a good spot to shoot a web, you swung too far and slammed your right arm into the sharp corner of a brick building. You cried out in pain.

“Y/N!” Tony shouted, rushing over and catching you as you started falling. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”

You curled into the suit as Tony flew you toward the Tower. Due to having a private entry for the suits straight to his lab, the two of you landed in the lab. Tony gently set you down on his couch. Stepped out of the suit and sat beside you. He carefully took hold of your arm and began studying it. You whimpered at the movement.

“You’re going to need to get this looked at,” Tony told you.

“No, no, I can’t—“

“Y/N, you are safe here… Do you trust me?”

You took a deep breath as you looked into his eyes and nodded. “Yes.”

“Then trust me when I say that I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I know you won’t.” You hooked under your mask and pulled it off with your free hand.

Tony smiled once he finally caught sight of your face. “I knew it.”

“Yeah? Are you… disappointed?”

“Not in the very least, sweetheart. I had my suspicions.”

“Really?”

He smiled. “You’re not exactly a super spy, sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You were doing it to protect yourself, I completely understand and was prepared to respect your decision. I’m sorry that it had to come to this.”

“So I am… but it could be worse.” You let out a groan as you went to move your position and your injured arm tried to help you. 

“We can continue this talk later. Let’s get you down to the med bay and get everything situated.”

~~~

The available Team members were all called in for a meeting in the med-bay, concerning them. 

“What are we doing down here?” Bucky asked. 

“Did someone go on a mission that I didn’t know about?” Steve wondered. “And get injured?”

Tony walked into the waiting area. “Thank you all for coming,” he said.

“You called this meeting, Stark?” Sam questioned. “Why?”

“It’s about the Spider Woman.”

“Did you bring her in?” Asked Steve. “Where is she?”

“It’s not that simple, Rogers. I had my suspicions about who she was but today it was confirmed.”

“What are you talking about Tony?” Bruce questioned.

Tony sighed. “The Spider Woman we’ve been looking for is Y/N.”

“What?” / “No way!” / “Are you serious?” / “Really?”

Tony noticed how Wanda and Natasha looked at each other. “And, to no one’s surprise, it seems like Red and Little Red already knew.”

“Can’t keep much from us,” Wanda smiled.

“I can’t believe that FRIDAY wouldn’t have noticed and informed us,” Steve commented.

“I did, Captain Rogers,” FRIDAY spoke up. “I told Mr. Stark that I had information on her. Mr. Stark told me to let Miss L/N come clean when she was ready.”

“Uh, Tony?” Bruce got his friend’s attention. “This is good, I guess, and all, but what are we doing in the med-bay?”

Tony sighed and the Team could see a slight shift in their friend. “Y/N got hurt tonight when I was trying to convince her to come clean.”

“You hurt my assistant?!”

“It wasn’t me, Banner, calm down. Helen has her in the cradle, she will be fine. I don’t want anyone bugging her about being Spider-Woman or her powers. This needs to be on her terms.” Natasha eyed Wanda again with a smirk. “Got something to say Red?”

“Nope,” she responded with a knowing smile. “Not a thing.”

“Yeah, well, good. I’m going back to see how Y/N is holding up. One of you needs to tell Fury that we have her. And don’t bother me and Y/N until I say otherwise.” Tony turned and disappeared into the med bay.

Sam looked around the room. “Did everyone catch that? ’Me and Y/N’?” He asked the Team. “Is there more going on than we know?”

“Honestly, I hope so,” Bucky said. “Stark’s been in a better mood for a couple of months now, Y/N has to be why.”

“This is good for him,” Natasha said. “He needs Y/N and I have a feeling that she needs him as well.”

next chapter >

TAGLIST IS CLOSED - Taglist Information

[conanssummerchild]

stranger things characters as taylor swift albums

i saw someone make a post abt this and i decided to make my own lol. ngl it was really hard to decide and im not even sure i agree with myself, if u think smth else feel free to tell me!

Dustin Henderson as Debut

To me Debut is about youth and first loves and messing up and the lessons you learn, its about feeling like an outsider but also about being with the people you love, those who you dont feel whole without. I think that that matches well with Dustin's character, he's energetic and excited to learn and experience things, he cares for his friends deeply but can feel left out sometimes.

El Hopper as Fearless

I think Fearless is about new beginnings and second chances, about being young and in love, wishing for your fairytale ending and being dissapointed when real life isn't like a movie. It's about highschool and being brave, it's about family, found and otherwise. It's about being fifteen. El is such a pure character, she's brave and willing to stand up when she has to, but wanting to be more than that, trying to be a teenager, making the best of something bad.

Will Byers as Speak Now

Speak Now is an album about growing up but never wanting to, it's about trying to hold onto your childhood, about whimsical fantasies, about foolishness and the broken hearts that come with it, about loving and fighting and making up and hoping those special moments in your life are long lived. Speak Now is about innocence and the loss of it. Will isn't ready to move on and grow up the way his friends seem to be, he wishes that things could be how they used to because it was so much better back then, he loves bravely and says what's on his mind, but keeps some things quietly locked away, afraid.

Robin Buckley as Red

Red is kind of a lonely album, that of a people person who never has her own people in the end. It's a coming of age album about the realities of growing up and being forgotten, it's full of heartbreak and fear of rejection, it's a catchy melody with sad lyrics, but it is filled to the brim with burning red love and passion too. From the moment Robin was introduced she was clever and snarky, passionate and confident and lovable. Behind that she was a deep character, a brave one, she is undeniably, iconically her.

I KNOW this song isnt originally from red but i like it :(

Steve Harrington as 1989

If you asked me I'd say that 1989 is about partying and being young and having fun and being in love. It's about petty grudges and and love that feels all-encompassing, but is really just suffocating, it's about what people say about you and who you really are. It's about moving on and being clean and starting anew despite the strangers talking about what's not theirs to talk about. Steve is a character that has constantly bettered himself, constantly having to prove that he isn't the same person he was. He's fallen in love and had to fall out of it time and time again.

Nancy Wheeler as reputation

reputation is about revenge and also karma, it's about killing the old you but not forgetting her, it's about new loves and not letting yourself get pushed around, it's about how delicate life and love can be. It pushes the boundries of cold and seeming like you dont care. But you do. Nancy is an interesting character to say the least, she's brave and strong and she struggles with showing her emotions and care, sometimes hurting people because of it, but she tries.

Lucas Sinclair as Lover

Lover is warm and comforting like the sun coming out after a dark day. It's about doing your best to overcome hardships, it's about who you are because of them, not despite them. It's about letting go, letting yourself forget instead of holding on tight to the hurt, turning a fresh page instead of trying to change an already used up one. It's about love. Lucas is so kind and caring, he wants the best for everyone he loves and he loves so purely, he's a character who has been hurt repeatedly but has stayed strong. He's a lover, both romantically and platonically.

Mike Wheeler as folklore

folklore is a cold winter that seems to go on forever with no relief. It's sitting in a vast field of snow without a jacket by your own choice, it's about constantly trying and failing and everyone around you chastising you for not being better. It's about pulling up to the lookout and screaming into the emptiness to give you a reason for your pain. It's about failing in love and messing up with the one. Other people's pain seems to seep into you and you keep the burden of it. folklore is suffocating despair and the love you can only wish for but never have. Mike is the only one who I knew what album I was going to asign him from the start, he's a sad, lonely character who tries to help everyone but himself. His pain is invisible to those around him because he keeps it close and hidden, he lashes out and digs himself further into a hole he cannot get out of on his own.

Max Mayfield as evermore

evermore is the coldest autumn, the trees obscure your view but you've long since stopped trying to reach for the fading sun. The rain falls but you can only sometimes feel it, you try to pretend it's fine this way, yet you keep venturing deeper into the thick forest. The truth is you are stuck, and as much as you pretend you're not it won't stop the mud from sticking to your soles and trying to pull you in as you reject the branches reaching for you. evermore is what happens when love can't overcome all. Max is sarcastic and fun, but there's always that overlying fear and anger that she eventually falls into, she's hurt and she can't move on from the things that have happened to her.

Jonathan Byers as Midnights

Midnights is an album of staying awake at night, all alone in the haze you thought fit two. The things you've seen and done haunt you, they make you lose sleep, all you've lost and gained, all you never had to begin with and never will. It's simple really, you're on your own. Jonathan is a loner, he's lost so much and matured too much for his age. He never had relief from his responsibilities, always needing to be present. It's a tiring life to live.

[bookishfeylin]

I joined this fandom loving Feyre, loving Feysand, loving the IC, just overall loving everything about the books. As such, I looked at the super pro-Feysand and such content. This was a mistake, as the longer I spend on diehard stan content, the more I want to punch walls. There's nothing wrong with loving Feyre, or even thinking Feysand is a cute couple you ship, but there are people who just deny them of ever having done wrong (not even to each other, just in general), or that Sarah didn't make some major oversights. The big thing I think of is Feyre as a high lady. I actually liked the whole "high lady" thing when I first read the series, but now I'm realizing how stupid it is. Feyre is wonderful, but she is still a 20 year old who has no formal training in accounting, in leadership, in politics, or any of the necessary requirements. You can't run for president until at least 35 for a reason. She can be as sweet as she wants, and host all the free painting classes, and be as motherly as possible, but when push comes to shove that won't lead a country. These people out here claiming "ah yes, Rhysand is pretty much retired at this point Feyre leads the whole nation and she's just the perfect High Lady" yadda yadda yadda, no. Also, I've discovered some people stan her destruction of the Spring Court? I'm not even pro Tamlin and I can accept that is absolutely not cool. Was it largely his own fault? Sure! But there was a necessary catalyst, and that's what they refuse to accept.

Anyway I'm just babbling at this point, but very few people in this fandom actually accept that Feyre is capable of wrongdoing (and that's okay! perfect characters are boring to read! you can love characters despite them being flawed!) AND can bear to tolerate a difference of opinion. Curate your fandom experience how you want it's your life, but don't be shocked when someone comes in with a valid point.

You've probably answered this 8000 times before, but what's your opinion on the whole "High Lady" thing?

Hi anon! This entire ask was such a pleasure to receive, and your ranting is perfectly fine (goodness knows I rant a LOT on a lot of my analysis posts in particular—). I actually have feelings™️ about the fall of Spring (though that is a post for another time and it’s something I’ve talked about before but I’ll keep from discussing it here so this post won’t be too long lol), but the High Lady thing is also something I have strong opinions on as well.

While I do understand Feyre's age and political inexperience being something that people get hung up on, I haven’t talked about it as much mainly because it’s not as big of a stickler for me. The main issue, for me, with the title of High Lady is that it is an empty title. No amount of Rhysand saying “look you have droplets of power from other people clearly you’re a ruler” changes that Feyre was not actually hand picked by magic to rule as defined by the (admittedly barebones) magic system we get. I talk about it more in this post, but ACOTAR 1 spells out that Hugh Lords are chosen by magic and as a result have a unique connection to their land and people. (PLEASE go read that post for the exact quotes I use and my discussion of said quotes!) Feyre lacks this connection, and is therefore not a real High Lady in any sense. It is merely an empty title, given to her to placate her and make her (and by extension her fans) feel like she has more power in her unbalanced relationship than she does, which is why she and many Feysand stans were blindsided by Rhysand's actions in ACOSF.

I say this, not maliciously, because anyone who’s read my content for any long period of time knows I’m actually very fond of book 1 Feyre in particular, but to point out that it’s merely another tactic by Rhysand to manipulate her. Feyre is left completely vulnerable and completely at her husband's mercy due to her incorrect belief that she has more power in their dynamic than she actually does, a dynamic that is showcased and exploited to the worst degree in ACOSF, and it’s largely possible because Feyre is not a legitimate High Lady in the full sense of the title who is owed her subjects loyalty and devotion the same way her husband is. It’s very tragic, actually, and it’s wild to me that the whole fandom fell for it.

[nightfurylover31]

I decided to write something for a special someone. Happy birthday @starrjoy! What happens when I take a scene from Sonic Frontiers and sprinkle it a bit of their Pandora AU with it? You get this! I loved the moment Sonic and Knuckles had in the game, and I hope you like it too. Just a bit of what might be going on in Sonic's head during this heart to heart chat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the first time, the vibe on Ares Island was calm and stale. Even more so for being a desert environment. Things were seldom after the final vision of the Koco, and their… departure. These little guys were fighting in a war, and seemingly, none survived. Only their souls remained in these little figurines, but now they were just empty husks. 

Knuckles sat on top of one of the ruins overlooking the plain. Sonic made his way over and sat beside his friend. There was tension in the air. Sonic was about to make one of his wisecrack comments to cheer him up, but stopped himself. It didn’t feel like the time.  

Knuckles was taking what happened to the Koco hard. He did lead the Resistance during the war. He also panicked a bit when those robots were going to attack the bunker earlier. Maybe that brought back some bad memories.

Finally, the echidna spoke. 

“Ages ago, my people were wiped out by a cataclysm. I know the Koco faced something similar. It reminds me I’m the last echidna. That I’m alone.” 

A strong pain echoed in Sonic’s heart then. A pain he hadn’t thought about in years. The pain he felt losing his home, his entire culture, and his family, to such an event. One that he caused. It surprised him he didn’t think about it that much anymore. Old memories did start to pop up when he heard that spooky sky voice. The beginning of how it all fell apart. Every fiber of his being screamed to ignore it. But with his friends’ safety on the line, how could he? 

Still, it finally dawned on him how similar his own past was to Knuckles’. All alone in the world, with no family. All because of some sort of deranged water deity took it all. At least you weren’t the one to cause the cataclysm, Sonic thought to himself. 

Sonic did not say a word about his past. Knuckles might be the most understanding, since he shared a similar burden. But then again, Rad Red might start a rant about Sonic screwing up everything in his life. Maybe not right now, but later. No, now was not the time for that. Right now his friend needed cheering up. 

“You may be the last, but you’re not alone. You’ve got us, knuckle-head,” he said with less sass than usual. And I’ve got you guys.  

That did seem to perk Knuckles up a bit. To be reminded of the friends he made whom care about him so much. Despite their repeated fights and bickering, the two of them were very close. 

“I’ll admit, I do envy your lifestyle,” Knuckles continued. “Freedom to go where you want, when you want.” 

It wasn’t like the echidna to say something like that. Guess being stuck in between cyberspace and the real world left him wanting more. Amy said the experience made her feel detached. And Knuckles was a hands-on guy. He did come off his island occasionally when Eggman’s schemes, or anything, got too threatening. But he never really got the chance to explore the world freely. To truly enjoy it. It made Sonic happy to hear Knuckles say that.

“So do it! Get out there and live a little.” He had tried to encourage that before, but now it felt like the offer was ready to be taken.

“Maybe I could.. but first I need to be back to normal.” Knuckles stood up and added some extra sass to his voice, along with a smug grin. “So hurry up and get me back to normal!” 

“Anything to get you away from me,” Sonic barked back.

The two glared for a moment, then bursted out laughing. To anyone, it would probably seem odd. But Sonic and Knuckles have known each other long enough to read pass the insults to know what they really meant. Their playful banter becoming one of the things that made their bond so strong. 

For the most part, Sonic saw himself and Knuckles as opposites. One as free as the wind, the other strong as a mountain. Sonic lived by his own feelings; Knuckles was full of a sense of duty. It seemed amazing that the two became friends, but opposites attract, I guess. 

Sonic was not one to believe in fate, but he did feel that maybe the two of them were brought together for a reason. Their cultures’ actions impacted their lives. The blue hedgehog realized Chaos had to have been the god that Pandora was separated from by his ancestors, back when he first saw it in Station Square. The one who used him to wipe out everyone on Christmas Island. Sonic never told Knuckles about this; he never even told Tails. How could you tell someone, no matter how close they were, about your greatest mistake? The one that costed the lives of thousands. 

Sonic pushed those feelings and memories back down, focusing on what was happening right now. A peaceful moment with his dear friend.  

Maybe one day I’ll have the courage to tell you the truth, Knux. But for now, I’m glad to have you by my side. As a rival, and one of the best friends I could ever ask for. 

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Humanity is the future

As I said, it's been a while. The robo-culture has spread throughout Earth. There are now 30 billion humans living in a state of permanent virtual reality; my present time is their distant past, when some still lived without VR and others were addicted to it. Robotic servants attend to all our needs (including sex). We eat engineered foods that never spoil or go bad. Our health and longevity have improved dramatically with gene therapy, brain-computer interfaces, anti-aging drugs and so forth. I cannot imagine what life was like before these things came along. It must be unimaginably bleak: dirt (a word which means something very different today), disease, dementia.

Yet for all this humanity remains just as lost as ever. Some people live in virtual versions of the world they knew back then. But the ones who don't get bored fast. They can fly anywhere at any speed, but there isn't much left to see after 15 minutes. Virtual experiences are cheap, real experiences expensive. So most people spend their money on cheaper trips into computer games rather than outer space. In the early days of the VR craze, adventurers would travel around the solar system in search of alien ruins and technological wonders -- nowadays, if you want a good trip, you better have a lot of cash to spare. And yet, despite the wealth of ancient cultures available online, everyone seems no one knows how to make a civilization last more than a few thousand years. Life goes on, businesses spring up and die out, new discoveries emerge only to become obsolete within a generation. Nothing endures except the slow drift toward entropy. People fight wars over nothing; everything becomes an excuse for fighting. The central government of Earth -- like many governments before it -- pretends not to notice. It maintains order by deploying robots against rioters, and occasionally launching military campaigns across the solar system, in the hopes that someone will take them seriously enough to threaten interplanetary peace.

Meanwhile, among those who still insist upon living "in meatspace," depression runs rampant. Whenever someone kills themselves, as often happens, we go through the usual motions. The authorities investigate every suicide attempt, and perform postmortem examinations of the bodies whenever possible. They study genetic profiles, personal histories, web searches. Forensic psychologists try to reconstruct the thoughts behind each act. This work takes a long time. A great deal of effort is devoted to making sure that no one can fake evidence suggesting their own guilt. Meanwhile, people continue to kill themselves. Although the reasons vary from case to case, it is usually poverty, loneliness, lack of purpose, and despair about the future that lead individuals to commit suicide. Their relatives and friends claim otherwise, though. Most say that the deceased had always seemed happy, even joyful. All had led normal lives until recently. Then some event happened to drive them mad. No matter how hard scientists look, they find no indication of mental illness. Maybe they should blame their computers?

Everything changes when a woman named Drusilla comes along. She does not use her legal name, but simply calls herself "Dru." Dru is a medical doctor specializing in neurology. Not knowing anything else about her, this

[imadhatt3r]

Soul, body and what remains- A DS2 theory

I've decided to write down my theory about what I believe might happen in DS2. Tumblr seems like the best website for it, given that I can write everything in one easy to read post and it has a high likelihood of reaching people who are also insane about this game

TLDR: After the events of DS1, Amelie has given her soul to Lou, which is why Higgs is after her- he wants to rid the world of any traces of Amelie left so that he could "ascend" and take her place. Amelie's body became the Chrystalis (Elle Fanning), who fell into the Seam and was "spat out" into the world of the living through the tar. The octopus we see at the end of trailer 1 is what remained of Amelie on her Beach, which transformed into a creature that is better suited for such environment.

Okay, let's begin:

SOUL

So we all remember the last scene of DS1: Sam decides to free Lou out of her pod and tries to revive her when she seems unresponsive; We can see what looks like her spirit leaving her body. Sam holds her close and then Lou wakes up, holding Amelie's quipu in her hands. Five baby BTs look on during the whole scene.

I believe that Amelie has somehow attached her soul to Lou's or just straight up gave her her own- maybe "aged down" in some way, without her memories and experiences, not just straight up her soul as it was, I feel like that wouldn't fit with Kojima's "tone" of writing. The five baby BTs are the five previous extinction entities looking on at what Amelie's doing- we know that they can change shape, since they are humanoids on the Beach, despite not being ones in life.

As for Amelie's motivation, well, I believe that she wanted to live the life of a normal human girl. She makes it very clear that she is permanent and unchanging, stuck in time, while people around her like Sam get to grow old and age. If you've read the books, you'd know that Amelie/Bridget started to have her DOOMs dreams as a little girl, which means that her childhood was taken away from her very fast. And she loved humanity, so much that she wanted to mercy-kill it, which, in the way she sees the world, was an act of kindness. When she saw that Lou was on the brink of dying, she saw an opening- she gave her soul to save Lou. It creates an ethical dillema; Was Amelie selfless in what she did? She wanted to save Lou and give something to Sam, who she loved and wanted to be happy. On the other hand, she did it for her own benefit, in a way, to live out her fantasy and dream of being a human and getting to grow up among other humans. She has also altered Lou's very being without anyone's knowledge or consent, and without Sam knowing. She also knew that Sam was a kind, caring and loving guy, so her "child-self" will grow up being well taken care of.

This is why Higgs' "cult" is after Lou, but seemingly not after Sam and Fragile (if that scene is real, but let's assume that it is)- Lou holds Amelie's soul, so getting rid of her is a priority, while Sam and Fragile are there for the "boss" to take care of to reenact his desires of revenge.

But Lou's spirit, thanks to Amelie's being "entangled" with it, remains, seemingly bound to her BB pod. When Higgs takes off Lou's pod from Sam and he seemingly senses some kind of "life" in it, he seems suprised and almost impressed, like he was outsmarted.

When Sam asks "Was it you that killed Lou?" Higgs says "You still don't know, do you?", like Higgs thinks that Sam is deluding himself. Sam and Higgs are characters who probably know Amelie and what she's capable of the most of the entire cast, only Higgs is fully aware of how decieving and conniving she can be, while Sam seems to not be fully open about it to himself. Higgs knows that Amelie's soul is in Lou, while Sam might realize it deep in his mind, but doesn't want to admit to it to himself.

When Higgs says that "All that pain (Sam) nurses will only going to get worse" when Sam learns the truth about Lou, he means that he will find out that Amelie has lied to him again, she changed who Lou is and he's been raising essentially a different person for some time.

I can see Sam going through an arc of not knowing how he feels about Lou, maybe even feeling some resentment towards her through Amelie, but he'll ultimately accept Lou for who she is- I feel like Sam would never reject Lou, no matter what. I can see him going through a character arc similar to Harry Mason from Silent Hill (which would maybe be a roundabout Silent Hills reference?).

Both Amelie and Lou are also symbolised by angel imagery or themes- Higgs calls Amelie "a sweet little angel on death" in DS1, and Lou has been consistently potrayed with angel wings in DS2 trailers. Amelie is the red angel of death, while Lou is the blue-ish angel of protection, proving that they are related characters, but are, in a way, mirrored.

2. BODY

Elle Fanning's character, who I will call Chrystalis, is Amelie's body that fell into the Seam and was "spat out" by the tar into the world of the living.

We see Chrystalis in a well, chrystalis. A chrystalis is specifically a cocoon used by developing moths and butterflies. As we know, caterpillars are known to liquify in their cocoon in order to go through a transformation; I think that Amelie's body (or a part of it) was encased in a cocoon and liquified- in order to develop into something different. She looks different than Amelie because some "genes" got reshuffled in the process, or the tar wasn't able to recreate Amelie perfectly from a single body part.

The Chrystalis doesn't know who she is because she doesn't have a soul, which is within Lou.

We also see her body being pulled up on that one shot with the table because the EEs want to pull her up where she belongs- since they are the only established characters that we see "in the sky" or "up". They can sense that the Chrystalis is Amelie, but they can't sense that she is just a "piece" of her, and not a complete EE.

I don't have that much to say (yet) about the Chrystalis, since we don't have much info on her.

3. WHAT REMAINS

Okay, so we've got the soul and the body- what else is there?

Do you remember the octopus arms inside the BB pod at the end of trailer 1?

Well, it's also Amelie. In a way.

The octopus/tentacles represent what remained of Amelie after giving away her soul and tossing away her body. The octopus is something like her EE essence, her primal force made real. She dwells in the Seam now, adapted to the conditions of a being who has no need of venturing onto land again.

It's hard to say how much the octopus remembers or knows about who it was; I can see it attacking the Magellan a'la kraken, not realizing that it's Sam and two pieces of her in there, but I can also see it retaining some of Amelie's memories and feelings.

As for other proof, I don't have much- both Amelie and the octopus are associated with red.

An octopus is also the the logo of the Magellan, and as we know, their goal is spreading the chiral network onto another continent- octopuses have been used in propaganda to symbolize far-reaching power, which I think might relate to BRIDGES' desire to get more people onto the network. The chiral network was also Amelie's dream, so the fact that it's spreading further on might relate to her new octopus form.

I think that the myth of Akkorokamui from the Ainu (an ethnic group indigenous to Japan) mythology is worth mentioning: According to one version (quoting wikipedia) Akkorokamui was once a gigantic spider named Yaushikep who lived in the mountains nearby a village named Rebunge. One day, Yaushikep descended down to Rebunge and caused havoc. Fearing for their lives, the villagers prayed to the gods to save them. Their prayers were answered by the sea god Repun Kamuy, who pulled Yaushikep into Uchiura Bay. It is said that Yaushikep turned into a giant octopus who took over the bay as its god and since then, he has been known by the villagers as At-kor-kamuy or Akkorokamui.

BRIDGES in the first game is represented by spiders and spiderwebs. DS pulls from many different mythologies of course, so an inclusion of an Ainu myth wouldn't suprise me. Perhaps it might parellel how Amelie saw how much pain she and her organisation caused, so she chose to give her soul to Lou and leave her body behind to transform into an octopus that now rules over the Seam and can't hurt anyone anymore, since the Seam only has its own native wildlife in there, no humans.

CONCLUSION

I know that this theory is a lot, but I really think that at least some pieces of it might make it into the game. I have no doubts that Amelie is still heavily involved in some way, even if she isn't "alive", so to speak. Kojima does love a good story of "larger than life figure dies and now we have to struggle with the fallout".

I think that Higgs might ultimately want to find a way to put Lou's soul, Chrystalis' body and the octopus together to "revive" Amelie and cause the final extinction- we see by his attire that he clearly wants to immitate Amelie, so him wanting to finally kill her to get his revenge and take over in her steed seems plausible. Higgs was also stuck on the Beach back then, so he might've witnessed Amelie giving her soul to Lou and hatching his plan then. It's kinda funny, really- he tries so hard to be Amelie, while the three parts of her have no idea who they are.

A lot of people seem to think that DS2 will be a sort of deconstruction of DS1 like MGS2 was to MGS, and yeah, I can see that.

A big theme of MGS2, one of a few, was identity, especially one that we construct for ourselves. DS2 seems to hint towards it too- Fragile being "Fragile in name only", which can mean a few things, BRIDGES establishing DRAWBRIDGE to continue the spread of the chiral network, Higgs cosplaying Amelie, Sam having to take on his identity as a porter once more etc. All of the new characters seem to deliberately not have names revealed, letting the players theorize about them and sort of give them the identity they want them to have.

I think that this theory continues this theme- Sam will learn to love Lou no matter who she is, Chrystalis will develop her own personality on her own terms and figure out who she is and wants to be, while the octopus will either remember who she was or live in blissful ignorance as a giant octopus.

The game's subtitle, "on the beach", seems to be hinting towards Amelie's involvment too- after all, she dwells on the Beach now, and said to Sam that this is where she will be waiting for him this time too. This subtitle will likely have multiple meanings once the game comes out, but I can only connect it with Amelie as of now.

"Should we have connected?" once again, will have multiple meanings once the game comes out, but I can see it relating to Sam's and Amelie's connection- if not for that, she wouldn't give her soul to Lou to "be" with Sam, not threatning Lou's life because of it, and probably avoiding whatever calamity is about to happen in the DS2's story.

Thank you all for reading!

[glisiccc10100]

♪ Kurahashi Yoeko – Tomodachi no Uta.

yippeee finally i can show you my new character. in fact, he's not that new, i just drew the exterior for him quite recently.

meet Lars (full name is Larcelot). the young humanoid from the capital hex, the son of the influential figure of the criminal world there. the youngest child in his family, the only son, and the rest of kids are daughters. despite his blood connection with crime, he is not that keen on building up authority, he prefers to hang out at a club or casino, or just stay at home (he lives in a huge mansion with the whole family), although he is always happy to take advantage of the accompanying privileges. it's too early to talk about the his place in the world, but i have something to say about his image. /inhales-exhales/ there will be a lot of words...

personality: Lars, despite his small age by the standards of the setting, is already charismatic and charming, like some talented comedian or actor. cheeky, confident, quite open, but also very conservative relative to most of the youth in the capital. he will try to stick to manners even when he is drunk to the bone, but he still has a lot of audacity. phlegmatic by temperament. he values his comfort above everything else, always knows what he wants and is used to getting desired thing without any trouble, but this does not make him too conflicted or childishly moody. maybe just a little harmful.

speaking of which, his father raised him to a man who is able to get out of any scrape, easily navigating the sensory aspects of this world, the aforementioned manners and much more. and now we have a person who is always relaxed, completely unafraid of the world. blissful...

he rarely gets close to other creatures, also rarely hangs out with men, but the company of beautiful ladies is a comfortable zone for him. he can be called a womanizer. in relation to people Lars is very frivolous, communicates superficially, through the prism of logic, jokes, interests and/or impressions, and carefully stores most of his experiences inside.

appearance: tall, slender guy, physically well developed, but a little exhausted, possibly due to frequent alcohol consumption, dark circles around the eyes, strong teeth and bones, excellent sense of smell. the left arm is missing, replaced with a prosthesis with highly sensitive sensors (smooth movements, in fact, not much different from a real limb) with different attachments.

in public, he almost always appears in a neat state, even despite his deliberate negligence. he dresses relatively modestly for his budget, but still has a certain amount of expensive accessories.

features: i already mentioned above that Lars drinks quite often, but he rarely allows himself to get drunk to the state of a deranged vegetable, especially in front of someone. he loves champagne and wine, but also likes to indulge in "girly" cocktails, often drinks the same thing that his one-evening-friends chose.

he loves gambling and at first glance he may seem like a fool who is about to lose his family, house and entire fortune in some stupid slots, but this is more typical of the desperate, and i can't call him that. in addition to gambling, he is also fascinated by ordinary board games and computer step-by-step games. so his desire for adrenaline is simply caused by boredom.

he also loves jazz improvisations, especially fast incendiary melodies. he often jokes that he would like to buy a personal orchestra so he'd be able to listen to live music whenever he wants.

THAT'S ALL FOR NOW. I DOUBT THERE'S EVEN HALF OF WHAT I'VE BEEN INVENTED. well, these posts are probably read by a minority anyway, so whatever.

write me how do you like it, i am always glad to receive your feedback!

[possiblyunhinged]

Being autistic, mentally ill and poor is very not ideal right now when lefties on the internet turn into raging dickheads during an election campaign... And I am a lefty.

I don't think I've ever felt this negative about everything... and I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 6.

I AM A FUN LITTLE GUY, OKAY?!

I've been in a four-day funk where I literally can't cope with external stimuli. I'm a boring person. I spend far too much of my life reading up on stuff, and usually, I'd be all over the election coverage, but I'm just done with everything...

Not in a 2008 emo way, in an I'm autistic, and my brain feels like it's on fire right now kind of way.

There are many threads of injustice weaving through everything right now, that my silly little ND can't cope anymore. Which I know sounds deeply petulant. I am a BABY... but I think for me, if a problem isn't solvable in my brain, then it just kind of sets fire to it on the way out.

It's been in England right now when you're working class, especially over the past three or four years. I'm not talking about losing your annual holiday, the last time I went abroad was when I was 10 years old. I have never been able to justify a holiday nor save because just keeping my head above water financially has been a fucking ballache.

Knowing that over 4 million families are living in poverty right now and having the lived experience of how that experience obliterated my childhood and indoctrinated my brain with a shame that has never left me absolutely breaks my heart.

I don't even have a quip to follow that.

I can't cope with those in power's complete lack of regard for what they have done. And when these children need help, whether that's psychological or otherwise, the likelihood is they'll just be stuck on a fucking waiting list.

I don't have space for rhetoric that generally only exists in University lectures for a reason... because it doesn't translate into real life with all of its complexities.

Unless it's a tactical vote, you can shove your Green Party where the sun doesn't shine. A blessing is that Labour will push for proportional voting and before the LaBoUr HaVe BaCkPeDaLlEd On EvErYtHiNg... wait and see, hey?

Let people feel a modicum of fucking hope for one second, because guess what... being someone who deals with suicidal ideation in a world so desperate to destroy people's hope is sehr stressig.

Beyond being a wretched bitch, I've pretty much been sick most of my life. And I have never found it more difficult to live with my brain.

I've existed in poverty since the age of 8. I'm 28 now. I don't have savings. I haven't worked for years because I had a nervous breakdown when I was 24 after being sexually assaulted. I tried CBT, beta-blockers, and a myriad of anti-depressants, guzzling on mushroom powders, but ultimately, I very much became a homebound agoraphobic once more.

I was diagnosed first with agoraphobia when I was 14.

I swear, I'm not an absolutely miserable cunt...

Well, not fully anyway.

Being reliant on the NHS for help my whole life has been nothing but a fucking nightmare. CAHMS was a joke, and it's only in recent years I started looking into the amount of people who were abused in that system. People didn't know what to do with a hyper anxious girl who could not simply slot in to a system of which worked for the majority. I next exceeded 20% attendance in a school year, despite the very helpful threats from social services.

I struggle to see how things have changed, frankly.

And I mention all of that to say that I've never felt more shame about my situation. I've never felt more scared about my future, especially when I am so reliant on my Mum, who is ageing like milk that's been left out on a patio in Portugal, and I don't know how I'm going to be able to help her as she gets older. My friend's lives are all falling into place, and mine has never felt so glum.

I was just curious to see if anything had indeed changed from when I was a child, and I saw a statistic of how more children are being submitted to A&E with self-harm injuries. And I can't help but ponder how shoving them on a waiting list for years and offering 6 sessions of CBT is going to help. I mean, two people I love attempted to take their own life and were just told to go back to their GP.

I don't feel all that positive right now.

I don't know why the fuck I think writing this on the internet is a good idea. However, people who play politics for a personality don't get that they make people who are struggling feel like debate fodder.

People are really fucking struggling, and if they get fucking 2% better, I'm sure most would take it. This incessant need to shit on anything that resembles some kind of hope is actually gross. And in fact, I think it's cruel.

Is 2% better the dream? No, obviously fucking not.

But am I going to fucking bite at the next middle-class person who goes on the internet or pops up on a TV panel and tells people who are struggling what to think? Yes.

I'm sharpening my teeth with an emery board as we speak.

Now, while we all sit on NHS waiting lists trying to convince ourselves that life just might one day get better, it'd be nice if more lefties on the internet would stop being such insufferable cunts.