#and domestic life does not mean they stop being themselves

[autumnrory]

not enough people write stucky being married/having kids tbh

[ahundredtimesover]

I Want You to Stay (09) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, attempted assault; use of the term slut in a derogatory way, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; eventual explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 18.4k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.

Playlist 🎶: on the way home

A/N: Hiii thank you for being patient, and again for all your love and appreciation for this story. 🥰 Updates will continue to take longer as I return to uni. On another note, I hope you enjoy this!

And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight  🥰

PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!

Seeing you standing in his kitchen donned in that pastel-colored blouse makes Jungkook stop in his tracks; you’re exactly who he needs to wake him up. 

It’s been weeks of vacation, which also means weeks without his usual routine. It’s striking how being absorbed in his work has altered him in that sense - he looks for the stress, for the long hours, for the isolation that’s demanded of his job. Perhaps there was just really nothing to look forward to, and work was an excuse for all those things because there wasn’t much else going for him. Ironic, considering everything he can do with what he has, yet nothing seems to be what he’s looking for, even if deep down, he knows what it is.

This is something that Hoseok and A-yeong made him realize during the trip as he watched them gush about the pretty streets and marvel at the fjords and immerse themselves in the view of the northern lights. 

His cousin, the President of the company who makes decisive decisions and conducts press conferences and signs off on billion won projects, is the same man who squealed during a husky ride in Finland, laughed his butt off when he slipped on a glacier, and muttered words of love to his wife as they all watched the bright evening sky over the lake in Norway. There was so much passion in him, something A-yeong mirrored, whether it was about work or his relationships or just about everything in life. Hoseok looked forward to that trip, to that time with his wife, to that break, to seeing the scenery and feeling peace. 

While Jungkook found himself constantly thinking about the Arts Center and upcoming projects and new design ideas… and the one person who connected him to all those - you. It felt like he was rushing towards something because the achievement was the goal, and while he stopped by the mountains and marveled at the water as he sat on the cliffs, his mind was racing, chasing something that he couldn’t even grasp. 

That’s how the past six years have been. Perhaps more, he thinks. Maybe 20. He’s never allowed himself to just be. Quite frankly, he doesn’t know who he is outside of what he does; he doesn’t know much of how he is outside of being an executive and heir, and so during the moments when he isn’t functioning as such, he’s a bit lost, just existing in a place he’s visiting, not knowing how to interact, how to breathe; not knowing how to connect or to be free.

You’re the bright spot amidst it all. With you around, he still seems to be wandering while stuck in a certain spot, but he’s not alone because you’re there. With you around, there’s a sense of calmness somehow, with your smile and your presence warming the coldest parts of him that he’s left untouched and unfeeling for years.

So when he walks towards you, his eyes fully opening now to see you better, he hums in satisfaction. 

“It’s nice to see you again,” he says, prompting you to turn around. “It feels like it’s been so long.”

“Really, Mr. Jeon? I thought the three weeks felt fast,” you giggle. “But it’s nice to see you, too. Were you able to rest out there?”

“Somehow,” he replies, taking the glass of water you give him.

“Is that why you passed on your morning workout to sleep in?” You raise an eyebrow, thinking that he’d slept in when you walked into his penthouse earlier without the usual sounds from the gym that you’d gotten used to.

“I was pretty jet lagged,” he groans. “Couldn’t sleep so I did it last night to tire myself out and then I finally fell asleep three hours ago. It’s a miracle I woke up after the tenth snooze of my alarm.”

“Ooh, that is not good, considering all the documents on your desks and messages on your inbox,” you shake your head. “What if I move the team meeting to tomorrow so you don’t push yourself too hard today? You could’ve taken the day off.”

“And have a worse day tomorrow? No thanks,” he chuckles. “I’m fine, but I agree with moving the meeting.”

“Just take it slow,” you advise. “I brought some pastries because I know your fridge and pantry are empty. I’ll get them ready shortly.”

“I’ll wash up then.”

You follow not long after, preparing his outfits for the second half of the week, then setting out the breakfast for both of you. He returns to the kitchen wearing the brown suit you chose for today, looking just as handsome as you remember. You fix his tie like you always do and meet his eyes like it’s reflex, the warmth bubbling within you when he returns your soft smile. You take your seat a chair away, taking your iPad after to start going through updates when he stops you.

“Not yet, please. My mind’s still half asleep.”

“Okay, sir,” you respond. “We can talk about your trip instead. How was it?”

Jungkook finds himself more engaged in telling you about it, not like how he was when his best friends met him for dinner last night and he was too tired to narrate how it went. But you ask with such excitement that he ends up sharing more than what he planned.

He talks about the Vikings museum and historical tours, the bike rides and coastal walks, the calm but lively cities and the breathtaking waterfalls. He even mentions the things he’d only kept to himself - like that one evening when the sky looked like one of Lee Jaemin’s paintings that had him staying at the balcony with a glass of wine while basking in its beauty, and when they were in Hans Christian Andersen’s hometown and he wondered what kind of fairytale character he would be, and that he learned he really enjoys hot springs during the winter. They’re random thoughts that he just ended up saying, somehow feeling natural and comfortable in sharing them with you. 

You indulge him, asking more and sharing your thoughts, too. You even throw in the occasional teasing remark and playful laughter. You ask about the scenery, expressing your yearning for the outdoors that you said you never really appreciated before, as the open space always overwhelmed you.

He passes you his iPad where he’s opened the folder of the photos that he took with his camera, a gift from Taehyung who’d said that Jungkook needed to go out more and “feel the sun.” He rarely used it but a Northern Europe trip seemed like the perfect excuse. He’s used to assessing interiors and marveling at structures from afar, but this time he got to appreciate what lies beyond his walls, beyond the little world he’s been burrowing himself in.

“These are stunning, Jungkook,” you gush, dropping the formalities as he shares something that feels so personal. “I didn’t know you had the talent for photography, too.”

“I wouldn’t call it a talent,” he shakes his head. “I took it as an elective during university and it helps with design ideas. I should at least take nice photos if I need inspiration or a basis. I don’t really do it much, though.” 

“Did it make you feel good, at least?” You ask, wondering what else gives him satisfaction.

“Somehow. It makes me feel good when I’m looking at the pictures. I’m transported to that day and that place again, like a holder of memories and desire for the good things.”

You go through the photos - dozens of them. He didn’t take too many, just one or two shots of every scenery. Beyond the majestic landscape, there are the everyday scenes - people talking at a cafe, strangers enjoying the park. There’s a couple holding hands, laughing at each other; from the silhouettes, you can tell they’re Hoseok and A-yeong, a moment that Jungkook probably thought too precious to not capture. 

Something in you stirs, as the photos elicit a mix of awe and yearning. You look at Jungkook and you think it’s what he felt, too. 

There’s a saying you heard about watching what people photograph to learn what they fear losing. With Jungkook, it seems as if these - freedom, tranquility, connection, intimacy - are things he wants; somehow they seem to be what he fears having. 

“It’s nice to have a keeper of good memories, isn’t it? Of that reminder that beautiful things exist and that they’re tangible, you know?” You say, returning his gadget. 

“It is,” he responds after a beat of silence, seemingly processing your words. “We forget sometimes. Or maybe, we just don’t know what that’s like. In that case it’s like an illusion. But it’s still good to have that, I guess. It’s still something.”

You don’t know what more could be said. It feels too personal or even intimate of a conversation to have with your boss on a Wednesday morning as you eat breakfast in his apartment. So you let it go, smiling as you say you’re glad he got to have some rest. 

He says that so does he and then asks about how your holiday was as you both head to the car. You talk about it during the ride, how you spent a week in Wando with your mother’s partner’s family and then drove to Jeonju, how the entirety of your break had you stuffing your face with food and bonding with them, and how they drove you back to Seoul last weekend, thankful that for those two weeks, they had you around.

You don’t tell Jungkook that some days, you’d think of him, wondering how he’s doing. You don’t tell him that you’d seen A-yeong’s posts and that he looked at peace in them, that there was a softness in his eyes that you’ve rarely seen on him. You don’t tell him that despite the vacation that you said you were looking forward to, you were also looking forward to this - having him back, sharing stories, and living in the silence alongside him.

You wonder, as you glance at him looking out the window, if this is what you meant about savoring the moment, enjoying what’s in front of you, and feeling less alone. Because right now, those are exactly what you feel. 

Jungkook wanted to wait to get to the office before proceeding to work matters, something that surprises you because he always gets down to business immediately, not unless he’s recovering from a hangover. But he blew you off even in the car, wanting instead to listen to your stories and then doodle on his leather notebook again for the rest of the ride. You end up meeting with him for an hour before he settles in, then he goes to lunch with his father, meets with your team, and then decides to visit the Arts Center mid-afternoon. 

Work is back in full-swing just like that, and you pull the energy from within you to manage the crazy week. There are start-of-the-year events to attend and organize, a board report and meeting to prepare for, new projects to initiate, and a major one to monitor. 

You’re glad that despite all that, Jungkook allows you to have a four-day off on the succeeding week so you can celebrate your birthday with a road trip down coastal towns with Jimin and Soomin. It’s a silly thing to do in the middle of winter, but they insist that warmth is most satisfying when it’s cold outside, and you don’t disagree. You’ll definitely be sighing in relief when you hold the steaming hot hotteok in between your hands, and it’ll be the best one you’ll have. 

It’s Thursday and you’ll be back in a week. You’ve just finished briefing Do-hyun, who’ll be covering for you while you’re away, and you get off your chair to grab tea in the pantry. Jungkook’s voice stops as you, as he stands by his door and asks if you’re already leaving.

“In an hour, Mr. Jeon,” you reply. “Is there anything I can help you with until then?”

“No, nothing,” he says. “I’m actually about to leave for dinner with Taehyung and Seokjin.”

“Oh, alright, sir,” you hum. “Goodbye, then. And I’ll see you next week. Just know that you’re the only one who can disturb me.”

He laughs in response. “Come on, I won’t be badgering you, especially on your birthday. It’s your one week away from me. You have to savor it.”

“So should you,” you counter. “But okay. I will.”

“Good,” he nods. “I’ll just fix up and go ahead then.”

He returns to his room and you’re just the tiniest bit disappointed that he didn’t properly greet you but you suppose that’s good for you. So you go to the pantry and end up chit-chatting with the team, finding yourself smiling when you look up and see Jungkook by the door, who tells everyone not to stay too late before he heads out. 

You arrive back at your desk, your heart beating fast at the sight of a small brown bag on your table. 

For your trip. Something to help remind you that beautiful things exist and they’re tangible, the note reads. Happy birthday. 

Your mind goes to a conversation you had not long ago, about how photos can elicit certain emotions and be a keeper of memories, especially of good ones. You know this is from Jungkook, and you also have an idea of what this might be, which is why you open the package right away.

Still, it catches you by surprise, especially when you find two disposable film cameras inside. They’ll definitely be enough for your upcoming trip and you know the photos will come out amazingly. You’re ecstatic. 

Perhaps this is why he wanted to leave before you did - you’d thank him and he’d be terrible at accepting it again, then you’ll call him out for it. Maybe it was good he hadn’t stuck around to see you act this way. At least he didn’t see you with that silly smile on your face.

But Yoongi does as you head down the elevator, smirking at you when he sees the bag you’re holding and the familiar handwriting on the card.

“I’m guessing you’re not fighting it anymore, huh?” He says, teasing yet somehow still comforting. 

“I’m trying not to, even if I know I’m being stupid,” you admit. “I can at least have these fleeting moments of joy after I walk away from this.”

“Retain the good memories. That’s one way to let things go,” Yoongi advises, as he exits the carriage on the parking lot floor.

The doors close on your smiling face, and he chuckles to himself at the irony of things. That’s how he learned to let you go, after all.

You return to work the following week with a spring in your step, with Jungkook noticing as you heat up the fried rice that you told him you’d be preparing for breakfast. You hum as you go about in the kitchen, feeling energized after the last few days you’ve had. 

It was freezing, but you, Soomin, and Jimin went a little crazy and ran down the beach whenever you drove by one, something you all did as kids living in Busan. The drives from town to town were slow but they had you all singing to your favorite songs, munching on chestnuts and bungeoppang, and stopping over viewing sites for fresh air and photos. 

You used Jungkook’s gift a lot, taking pictures of things that elicited strong emotions and good memories - purple and orange skies, snow melting on the pavement, the crashing ocean waves turning white at the tip, an empty playground in the park, Soomin’s infectious laughter, Jimin’s angelic smile. 

The cold was an excuse to seek your best friends’ warmth and they took advantage of it. It reminded you of those few years growing up with them before you returned to Daegu for college, something you and Jimin reminisced about, and something that you thanked him for after what seemed like ages. You recalled how he approached you first as the new girl who entered school in the middle of the school year, how he followed you around because you were always alone and was scared of loud noises, and how he’s never left your side since then. 

Every night during that trip, he hugged you as you tried to fall asleep, knowing you needed it for the cold you felt inside and out. He was next to you when you talked about Jungkook gifting you the cameras and admitted that it made you feel good, that it made you happy.

“I’m glad he’s showing you kindness,” Jimin had said. “But… just be careful, okay? Your heart is capable of a lot of good things. Pain is the last thing it deserves.”

“I don’t really know what my heart is capable of,” you replied. “My brain does the hurting but my heart… I don’t know what it does. I don’t know how it works.” 

It left him speechless then and somehow, you were glad that he just held you tighter, only because it was the only way you wanted to be comforted at that moment. But you also knew that whatever your heart ended up doing or experiencing, Jimin and Soomin would be there to help you make sense of it, to pick up the pieces should they need to.

“It seems as though your birthday rejuvenated you, ___,” Jungkook disrupts your thoughts. “You look much lighter and relaxed.”

“Only because I haven’t checked my emails nor taken new instructions from you,” you laugh as you serve the fried rice in bowls then head towards him. You fix his suit again and speak casually like you’ve gotten used to. “Once I open that iPad and see what I have to deal with, relaxed would be the last thing I’ll be.”

“Fair enough,” he chuckles. “Let me savor this then.”

His words catch you off guard and they prompt you to meet his eyes - soft yet piercing, then he turns shy and turns away from you. Perhaps he’s surprised at what he’d said, too.

“Work is stressful and your calmness rubs off on me most times,” he says nonchalantly. “We’ve got a busy few days ahead and I want that calmness to linger.”

“It will,” you assure him. “And yes, I feel rejuvenated, and that’ll probably last me for days so that will linger, even if I’m stressed, so don't worry. You’re gonna do well. I don’t doubt it one bit.”

Jungkook’s meeting the Culture Minister next week to present the Arts Center’s plans and activities leading to its opening to the public, which is why you think he needs that calmness as well. The team has been helping him with the preparations and while you felt bad that you didn’t get to contribute as much, he assured you that all the notes you left him have been instrumental. 

But still, his words affect you. Is this calm and relaxed version of you all he wants to savor? Does it mean anything more? 

The thoughts wander away as you have breakfast with him, and he asks if you wish to talk about work later on but you insist that you’re mentally ready for it all. He’s the one who gives you updates this time, and just like that, you’re back to your usual routine.

You glance at his plate, all clean right after because even this dish, he savors. And you realize that doing things for him, no matter how simple, makes you happy, too, especially when his lips turn up in a small smile and he nods in satisfaction.

“Good, huh?” You wiggle your eyebrows. 

“It’s infinitely better than mine,” he hums.

“So, it’s really, really, really good then?”

“You don’t even know how mine tastes like.”

“True. But Taehyung said once that yours was really delicious and I’ll take his word for it. Seokjin agreed and I believe them.”

“Wow, really? That’s a rare moment where they praise me,” Jungkook laughs. 

“You should savor that, too.”

“I should. Heavens know the last time that happened. And when it’ll happen again.”

“That’s kind of hard though, isn’t it?” You say, being a bit reflective as you go back to your daily routine after a trip that you wholly enjoyed. “Savoring things… capturing them, appreciating them. Like, you have to be in the moment, you have to be present, and that’s not easy to do.”

“It isn’t,” he responds after a while. “You have to care enough for something to be worth savoring, I guess.”

“Exactly. But how do you do that when everything is temporary - things, feelings… people. Not all of them are meant to stay,” you reply, meeting his eyes as they seem to be in deep thought.

“Maybe they will… if you ask them to,” he softly says.

“That depends.”

“On what?” He asks.

“If they have a reason to,” you shrug. 

Your faraway eyes tell him that you’re in deep thought, perhaps processing the exchange that even Jungkook can’t fully wrap his head around. But you turn to him not long after, smiling as you take the plates to clean up, as if you’d just snapped out of a trance, of a moment of honesty. 

He watches you from his seat. There’s an aura about you that truly feels more relaxed, yet there seems to be an added layer of pensiveness, of deep thinking that could easily be mistaken for savoring the moment when you might be questioning it, perhaps wondering if it’s real… or worth caring about in the first place.

Even until now, he doesn’t know what it is about you that has him hanging on to every word you say, like it’s some secret message or code to learning who you are and what your fears and pains and hopes and dreams might be. 

In the past months, his moments with you have allowed him a peek inside - there’s this yearning for something that you’re not ready for; there’s this knowledge of the fleeting nature of the world that you want to capture as memories because that’s the only way you can make them stay; there’s this desire for companionship that terrifies you more than anything.  

But then again, as he sees that soft courage in your eyes, maybe he knows why - he has the same fears as you, and perhaps that’s terrifying, too, as he realizes that much of what he’s scared of is tangible. 

He fears the emptiness left in your absence and the silence surrounding him when you’re gone. His trip over the holidays made him think so; this past week when you were away solidified it. There’s a lot of you to miss. He’s unsure how to deal with these thoughts and feelings; he doesn’t know how to move forward and be professional when you affect him this way. All he can hope for is that you’ll always find a reason to stay close to him, that you’ll always find a reason to want him around, and that every moment you share is something worth it enough for you to savor but that you both never have to let go.

You think about the conversation with Jungkook later that night on your way home. There’s something about the impermanence of the world that’s always scared you; things break and wither away all the time and you fear the loss in their absence. Perhaps it’s because you’ve experienced various types of losses throughout your years of living. 

You lost that childhood innocence the first time you saw your mother cry, then when her smile that finally returned was wiped off, and then when her hopeful eyes became filled with tears out of fear. You lost that comfort of a routine when you left Seoul at 10 years old, and then that stability when you said goodbye to your life in Busan. You lost that security when you decided to come back here with a dream tucked away, burdened with a debt and a past that you couldn’t escape. You lost that feeling of freedom when your favorite library closed, and then of safety during that night at the restaurant when you were hurt and exposed. 

It’s hard to savor things when you know you’ll lose them one day. But that’s also precisely why you should, as what these past months have been showing you, you think now. The absence reminds you that something good was in its place, and that at one point in time, it made you hope that you deserved it, that you were worthy of having it. 

But as you lay in bed that night and think of how much of Jungkook you thought about while you were away, you start to think that maybe things aren’t as temporary as you once believed. He was in the icy streets that you walked on and the warmth of the hot chocolate drink you had. He was in the drizzle on the playground that you wiped off and the touch of the leather notebook you saw at one of the shops. 

And perhaps that was the difference - you didn’t just stand by; somehow it felt like you connected with them - they were tangible, within your grasp, and that made them linger, that made them feel real. In your mind, that’s where they stayed.

The tail-end of winter marks the time when you’ve settled in the new year. All your backlog from the holidays and your short birthday break have been worked on. Operational plans and goals for the year have been finalized. The Board report and meeting are over and major events have been scheduled. Things are picking up now as the Arts Center is near its completion, with the consequent promotions and marketing on full speed. That last bit has been contracted to a subsidiary company but Jungkook is still on top of most things, which means that so are you. 

You accompany him to meetings with different departments regularly, and that’s on top of monitoring the other small projects that the VP office is working on, which is also on top of supporting Jungkook’s executive functions. In a blink of an eye, you’re back to the hustle and bustle nature of your job, and you’re reminded of why it’s been so hard to get out of it, and also why you can’t wait to do so. 

There’s just so much going on all at once, and given how you are, you give all of yourself to it because it’s the only way to get things done; it’s the only way to get through it without feeling like you’re taking for granted all that you’ve been given and achieved. But it also means you’ve lost the sense of meaning of most other things, and you wanna be able to do something that means something to you, something of good memories, of beautiful things that are tangible that you can touch and feel. 

You let go of the thoughts when Do-hyun and Yohan pop in your area to say goodbye. It’s another long night for everyone and you’re glad that they finally listened to you and decided to go home. You say that you still have a couple of things to work on when they insist that they walk you to the bus stop, telling them once more that you’ll be fine. 

“It’s forecasted to rain soon,” Do-hyun informs you. 

“I’ll get a cab, don’t worry,” you assure them. “Finance needs these files first thing tomorrow morning and we’ve got that ocular at 8. Thank you though.” 

“Fine, but let us know when you’re home, okay?” She says.

“I will. Get home safely, you two.”

You get back to work, and with the peace and quiet in the office with you being the last one here, you manage to finish what you need to in an hour and then finally call it a night. You head out and sigh to yourself once you see the lightning strike, knowing that it wouldn’t be long before the rain will begin to pour. You manage to bring out your umbrella by the time it does, then turn at the corner to look for a cab so you can avoid those who’ll be hailing from the main road. 

There are a few people who have the same idea as you, and it’s after some time before you spot one, with the driver slowing down once he sees you. But right as you start speed walking towards it, some man decides to get ahead, running past you and bumping you in the process, causing you to lose your balance. The wet pavement doesn’t help, as you slip on your foot and fall to the ground. You try to get up but jerk in pain when you do, realizing that you’d hurt your ankle, a foreign feeling that has you immediately worrying. 

After all the times you’d found yourself under the rain, this is the worst moment of all - you’re hurting, all alone, and completely worn out. You’ve had a really long day and you don’t have the energy for this; all you want is to go home and have some rest. But you know there’s no other way, so you shift on your bum, manage to get up and strain your arms in the process, then you limp to the nearest post you can find using your umbrella as a walking stick then stand on one foot.

The rain has weakened a little, so you’re at least not getting even more wet, but it’s still winter and you’ve started to freeze. There are no other cabs in sight and all ride-hailing apps have been such a pain to book. Knowing that it’ll be tough to get home in any way at this stage and that you won’t be able to manage on your own, you decide to call Mr. Ri. He’s always told you that if you need help for anything, he’s another person that you could call.

It’s half past 8 in the evening. You’re banking on him being on the way home after having dropped Jungkook off at his building after a dinner meeting at 5:30.

“Hey, ___. Is everything alright?” Mr. Ri asks, knowing you rarely call at this hour. 

“Not really,” you sigh, the shiver in your voice evident. “Have you dropped Jungkook off?”

“Not yet. But what do you mean, not really? What happened?”

“Are you driving?”

“No. I’m still waiting for him to finish. Tell me, are you in danger?” He presses, and you hear the worry in his voice. 

You told him about Chi-won some weeks after it happened, and Mr. Ri, having known you for many years, knows you’re not one to usually reach out. He’s made it a point to check on you regularly, and calls like this would definitely ring some alarm bells. 

“I’m not in danger but I hurt myself,” you say, quickly appeasing him that it’s probably just a sprained ankle and not that serious. “I just can’t get any ride and I can barely walk. I was hoping you were on the way home.”

“I’m not but I’ll go get you, okay? I’ll tell Jungkook and we’ll drive to you right away.”

“Mr. Ri, he’s in a meeting!” 

“That’s most likely over and now they’re just chatting over drinks,” he reasons. “I’ll get him. You know he’ll want me to.”

“You don’t know that,” you stammer.

“You weren’t there with him the days after what happened that night at the restaurant, ___,” he huffs. “I just knew it was really bad because of how worried he was, and he’s never been that way. So yes, I know he’ll want me to get his ass out of there and be on the way to you. Plus, I’m sure he’ll fire me if I don’t.”

“Fine,” you concede. “Just don’t make it sound so bad because it really isn’t.”

“You know I can’t control how that kid reacts,” he hums. “Just send me your location.”

Mr. Ri heads out of the driver’s lounge and rushes to the restaurant where he manages to send a message to Jungkook that you’re stranded somewhere with possibly a sprained ankle. He says it as it is, knowing that Jungkook won’t need much to decide on ending the meeting and go to you, which he does right away.

“What happened?” He asks the older man as they both walk towards the basement parking.

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask any more questions,” Mr. Ri responds. “She’s somewhere near the office. We’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

“Try for 15,” Jungkook instructs.

He calls you right after and he immediately picks up on your chattering teeth.

“Hey, ___. How are you feeling?”

You’re a little surprised when Jungkook calls this soon, and with how you’re trying to move past whatever attraction you have towards the man, this really isn’t helping.

“Just… cold. My umbrella flew away,” you laugh. “The wind’s picked up and I think it’s gonna rain again.”

Just as you say so, it starts, and you pick up on the change in Jungkook’s voice. You’ve since learned that he’s not fond of it, always closing his eyes and trying to tune everything out with even just a drizzle. But he continues talking and asks what happened, trying to keep you company. You narrate the incident and attempt to play it off as something minor, although the longer you stay leaning against the post, the more pain you’re starting to feel. 

“We’re five minutes away. We’ll be there soon,” he assures you then drops the call.

Jungkook clenches his fist and closes his eyes as the rain continues to pour. With the sound of the thunder, he jerks in his seat like he always does, but he pushes forward, knowing you need his help. He takes deep breaths just as he’s learned to do, and not long after, Mr. Ri informs him that he sees you just meters away.

The car slows down and Jungkook looks outside the window. He can see you leaning against a pole on one foot, drenched and shivering, your eyes closed as you wait for them to arrive. He meets Mr. Ri’s eyes in the rear view mirror as they halt, and with the rain just barely stopping, the older man nods and exits the car.

Jungkook watches from inside as Mr. Ri runs to you. He sees the smile on your face despite the droplets on the window. The older man takes your bag then helps you walk, leading you to the car where Jungkook manages to push the door open. 

You slowly enter with as much energy you can muster, wincing in pain when you have to adjust your foot inside. You sigh in relief as you feel the warmth and dryness of the car, prompting you to apologize for getting it all wet.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jungkook shakes his head. “We’ll take you to the hospital, okay? And I won’t accept no for an answer.”

You nod in agreement, knowing that much as you’re causing him inconvenience right now, you’re too tired to argue. You lean your head by the window and try to catch your breath. 

“Have you had dinner? He asks.

“Not yet. I was supposed to grab it on the way home.”

“We’ll pass by somewhere after the hospital.”

“Okay,” you look at him and smile. 

Jungkook isn’t surprised when you don’t counter him. Perhaps it’s the exhaustion, as he sees it in how your smile isn’t as bright as what he’s used to, with it fading as you turn away. You’re still shivering though, despite the car heater being turned up. He doesn’t have a towel to dry you up, though, so he instead removes his coat and instructs you to lean forward so he can place it over your shoulders to warm your back. He takes his puffer jacket from the front seat and puts it over your lap right after, giving you warmth there, too. 

“Is that better?” He asks.

“Yeah,” you mouth. “Thank you.”

His scent wafts through your senses, allowing you to breathe and feel all of him at once. It’s the closest thing to tangible comfort you’ve gotten from him, and you hate how good it feels.

You’re just about to fall asleep when the car comes to a stop. The rain has subsided and perhaps that’s why soon after, you hear Jungkook open his door and then your door, too. He removes his coat over your back, placing it back inside, then he holds onto your forearms to help you climb out. He takes his jacket and instructs you to wear it, giggling at how you’re being swallowed in it.

“I look ridiculous,” you pout as you sit on the wheelchair that he’s asked the nurse to get.

“Just a little,” he teases.

He walks next to you as you’re wheeled inside the hospital, staying close by when you explain to the ER doctor what happened. She assesses your foot and lower leg, diagnosing you with a sprained ankle like you expected, and proceeds to wrap it in elastic bandage. 

She treats the minor scratches on your palms you got from the fall then writes you a prescription for painkillers. Jungkook takes it so he can buy them for you after, then he helps you settle the bill with your insurance. 

You’re quite uncomfortable - you’re still a little wet and the bandage feels foreign around your foot. But you’re also feeling a bit shy, now that Jungkook is the one pushing the wheelchair towards the pharmacy nearby. He parks you at the side while he buys the medicine, and as you look on, you can’t help the relief mixed with giddiness that you feel despite the pain that’s close to overtaking you.

He stands by the counter with his white dress shirt slightly untucked and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hands are in his pockets while he waits for the pharmacist to return, and amidst everything that’s going on, you’re still able to admire how overwhelmingly handsome he looks, especially given what he’s doing right now for you. His side view is quite blinding, so you’re slightly embarrassed when he turns around and calls your name again after you missed it the first few times.

“Dazed and tired?” He asks as he walks back to you with a pack of medicines.

“Definitely,” you say, which isn’t a lie; it’s just not the whole truth. “I just want to eat and have a nice bath and then sleep.”

“And you’ll do all that soon,” he assures you. “We’ll pass by whatever’s open on the way to your place. Just make sure you don’t have the hot water on, okay? And then elevate your foot when you sleep.”

“Yes, I heard everything she said,” you playfully roll your eyes. 

“Including the full-on rest that’s required of you for the next few days?” He raises an eyebrow. “Because that’s what you’re gonna have. You’re on leave until you’re able to walk properly again, Ms. Cho.”

“So now you’re being formal,” you tease, flashing him a playful smile. “But yes, Mr. Jeon. The instructions are understood.”

“Good,” he laughs softly. “Glad you’re not being stubborn about it.”

“Oh, not with this one, not when I’m this tired and in this much pain.”

His look turns sullen at the admission of what you’re feeling and you wish he didn’t feel this bad. But you can’t deny the way it’s giving you butterflies, prompting you to scold yourself internally because learning how caring he is isn’t exactly what you need to get over a crush. This is definitely the worst part about being injured, you decide. 

You make it out of the hospital and he helps you again as you enter the car, sliding in next to you as he ensures that you’re warm. 

You pass by a noodle house on the way, and he buys you some more food for the next day despite your insistence that he didn’t have to. But you’re too tired to argue some more, and you doze off a little during the drive to your apartment, with your half-awake self mumbling your apology about taking up his time.

Jungkook playfully shakes his head. Knowing you’re probably shallow sleep-talking, he disregards your words. He just gets glimpses of you, comforted to know that you’re at least getting the most rest you can have, given your current state. The painkillers will kick in soon and that’ll help you sleep better, but right now, he wishes he could do more for you. 

In the deepest crevices of his heart, he wants to hold your still shivering hands and maybe hug your trembling body. He wants to stay with you until you’re warm and comfortable in your bed, perhaps assure you in whatever way that you’re not alone, that there’s help whenever you need it. He can’t imagine how it would’ve been like for you being under the rain, cold and hurt with no one around. 

On second thought, he can, and that’s the thing about it. Even if you get out of it with just a sprained ankle - considering how much worse it could’ve been - it’s still terrifying being alone and powerless, paralyzed on the spot and not knowing if anyone will show up. He wants nothing more than for you to get over that and be able to move past it because he knows how haunting it could be; he knows how restraining such memories are.

But he also knows that there’s not much he could do - not with the unnamed feelings he can’t express, and not with the line he still believes he shouldn’t cross.

So he settles for glances and soft smiles at your fluttering eyes and slightly parted mouth. You look tired but peaceful; he thinks it’s quite endearing. It also feels intrusive so he looks away, out into the streets that he’s able to somehow see now. He thinks about the timing of it all - your late night and his dinner out, your injury and the bad weather. He’s thankful that the rain subsided and that allowed him to help you as much as he was able to, and that he got to you in the first place.

You arrive at your apartment with you now fully awake, and Jungkook heads to your side right away. Pulling you out of the car requires more strength from him, and despite your terrible condition, the butterflies appear once more when he instructs you to hold onto him for support. You have to act unaffected when you feel his broad shoulders and taut arms, with your hands gingerly laying on them; you wonder if he feels anything, too, under the thin material of his dress shirt. 

His left hand only grazes your waist but his hold tightens after you grant him permission, perhaps knowing that it would be harder for you if he holds you that loose, he asked you to put your weight on him after all. Despite your agreement, you still hold in your breath, a silly attempt at slowing down your quickening heartbeat. He’s never been this close, and you’re unsure if you want him to be anywhere else.

You suspend your thoughts for the shortest of seconds until you both manage to get up the few steps to your door. Mr. Ri helps in unlocking it, and you settle on the dining chair that Jungkook pulls out for you after you both enter.

As you release a breath and watch him look around, it’s then you realize that your boss - the Jeon Corporation Vice President who lives in a penthouse in an exclusive district in Seoul - is in your tiny studio apartment that’s literally just the size of his bedroom. You’re not ashamed one bit but you are a little shy, so you jokingly welcome him to your “little mansion.”

“It’s nice,” he hums, looking around some more, which he doesn’t need to move to do. 

The small round dining table, the off-the-wall kitchen, and the three-seater couch are all in the open living space. There’s a half-wall that separates your sleeping area, with your double bed against it and the tiniest of balconies just off of it. 

You’re quite proud of what you’ve made of the place, with the plants in the corners, some chic art pieces on the walls, and photos with your friends and family on stick-on frames resting on the shelves. It’s cozy and comfortable for you, and you feel quite proud when Jungkook’s lips turn up when you respond that you’re happy here when he asks.

“It’s everything I need,” you hum. “And it’s in a safe part of town. My neighbors are older couples who are all kind.”

“That’s good,” he says, turning to you. “Will they be much help to you while you recover?”

“I’ll be okay,” you insist. “I have a crutch. I’ve got food to heat up, and my place is so small that I don’t have to move around to get things done. I don’t really need help, you know?”

He scrunches his eyebrows, seemingly unconvinced. 

“Watch,” you say, your shallow confidence pushing you to grab the crutch next to you then using it to walk towards him so you could prove that you’re capable enough to look after yourself. 

But your unfamiliarity with it leads you to mistime your step. Before you know it, you’re tripping on your foot and losing your balance, and as your life is about to flash before your eyes thinking that you’re gonna fall once again and make your injury worse, Jungkook’s reflex kicks in and he steps forward to catch you. You feel his grip on your waist gradually tighten as if to keep you steady, as if to make sure you’re alright. He’s so close, you can feel his breath as he pants, the worried look on his face something you’re familiar with by now. But he stays there, inches away, and so do you. 

He’s bending, so he stays leveled with you. You can see his long eyelashes resting on his honeyed skin and the endearing curve of his nose. He looks so soft like this, comfortable even, with his big round eyes looking like the most innocent ones you’ve ever seen.

The voice in your head suddenly becomes loud enough and you break his gaze, realizing then that you’re also clutching onto his shoulder for support. You give him a look of apology but he just laughs, something you’re thankful for because the last thing you want is for the tension to thicken.

“You’re stubborn, aren’t you? You think it’s that easy?” He shakes his head, his tone sounding like he’s both teasing and reprimanding you.

“It seemed like it,” you shrug, allowing him to help you back on the seat, disregarding the slightest bit of giddiness you feel as he has one hand on your free arm while the other ghosts over your waist in case you fall again.

“It’s not. And I know this because I’ve used this before,” he says. “So since you’ll be by yourself, we have to make sure you can at least use the crutch without falling, okay?”

“Fine,” you concede, listening to his instructions carefully then trying to do it on your own. 

It takes some getting used to, but after a few tries, you manage to at least walk without tripping. You plan on just staying in bed or on the couch tomorrow anyway so you’re not that worried. Even if Jungkook still seems to be.

“I’m okay,” you insist. “I’m gonna survive. But you should head home. It’s getting late and you have that ocular in the morning. I’ll just have to email Chin-sun about accompanying you and—”

“None of that,” he interjects. “I’ll be the one to tell her and I don’t want you worrying about work tomorrow, okay? You’re gonna take your medicine and just rest.”

“You’re demanding, aren’t you?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Only when I’m dealing with someone as stubborn as you,” he counters. 

You just laugh at him answering back, enjoying your banter more than you should, then he says that he’ll go ahead, for as long as you’re sure you can manage. It takes another five minutes until he makes it out the door. But before he disappears, you call his name, your heart skipping a beat when he turns around, as if he’s just hanging onto your every word.

“Thank you,” you say. “I know it was a long day and it was raining but… you still came for me.”

“Just recover quickly, okay? I’ll check on you in the morning.”

You nod and he leaves. And just like that, you’re once again on your own - damp, injured, and extremely tired. Jungkook’s presence remains in your apartment though, and there he is again, making you smile and making you feel things you shouldn’t.

You don’t mind being alone. In fact, you enjoy it. But during the times when you don’t want to be, he just happens to be there. And being the stubborn woman that you are, deep down, you like it that he is, that in your own little world with the walls up so high, he’s become a frequent visitor. You’re just not sure if you want him to stay just yet. 

You wake up the next morning feeling faint and sore, and it’s probably the painkillers having lost their effect. And there’s a reason why, seeing that it’s close to midday when you finally get out of bed. You manage to stand and walk to the kitchen with no issues, and you take your medication and heat up the food that Jungkook bought for you last night. It’s when you’re seated that he calls, bringing that smile to your otherwise uneventful day.

“Hello?”

“Hey, ___. How are you feeling?” He asks.

“Just fine. I took my medicines for the day and I’m about to eat lunch,” you reply. “And you? How was the ocular?”

“It was good. It has a lot of potential so I’ll run down the details with the teams and propose it. But speaking of sites, remember what I said about Hoseok and I thinking of a Scandinavian-inspired mid-rise in the mountains?”

“Yeah, the one you came up with during your trip. Are you gonna push through with it soon?”

“Perhaps. I’ve gotten emails of proposed sites for some other projects but I’ve seen a few that could work with this idea,” he shares. “There’s one in Gangwon that’s near the town center so it would be practical for many. There’s even— ah, why am I saying this to you now? You’re off the clock.”

“It’s okay,” you assure him. Jungkook doesn’t always show this much excitement with the projects he has to manage so when he does, you encourage him. It’s also an excuse to hear more of his voice. “My mind’s not prepared for being home today anyway so I’m a little disoriented. But that’s good. I can look into the sites and we can do an ocular whenever you prefer.”

“Alright, that’s something to schedule for next month. But uh, you sure you’re fine? Does your ankle still hurt? Did you get proper sleep?”

“Well, I slept like a baby,” you giggle. “And I at least remained in one position. It still hurts a bit but it should be okay in the next few days. I’m just gonna have to replace the bandage tomorrow morning.”

“Okay. Just make sure to ice it and keep it elevated.”

“Yes, boss,” you tease, earning you a groan. “But uh, thank you for checking up on me. I know you’ve got a busy day ahead.”

He’s silent, and you suppose it’s him again not knowing how to respond to gratitude, so you follow it up by saying that you’ll eat your meal now and reminding him of his meeting at 2PM.

“You better not be checking your emails and my calendar right now,” he warns.

“I’m not. I just memorize your schedule,” you defend.

“Okay then, I’ll go ahead.”

Jungkook drops the call and sinking in his seat, he sighs in relief. He managed to get through that conversation without sounding extremely worried, which is what he’s been since last night. His busy day today actually includes constantly worrying about how you’re doing, but he supposes it’s too much to let you know. Sure it’s just a sprained ankle, but knowing how you tend to move about, anything can happen. You were all alone for some time last night, too, just waiting for a way to get home. And that’s another thing he worries about - that fear latching onto you, that helplessness weighing you down.

He asks Mr. Ri if he’s heard from you, thinking that you’d probably be more honest with him, but the older man says you told him the same thing.

“Don’t you believe her?” Mr. Ri wonders.

“I do, but she’s quite stubborn though,” Jungkook laments. 

“Well, I’ve known her for a while and she tends to just deal with things on her own,” Mr. Ri says.

“But she shouldn’t. She’s injured.”

“I think it’s natural for people who’ve been alone for many years to be that way,” the older man shrugs. “I mean, you’re the same.”

Jungkook doesn’t disagree. And if you’re truly anything like him, then you’d just push through the pain and force it to stop hurting so you can go back to your normal busy life because doing so keeps you from thinking of how lonely it feels when you’re sick or hurt and there’s no one around. It’s how he’s always been, too, he admits to himself.

The thought disturbs him, which is why he messages you three more times during the day and then again the next morning, asking if he could drop by. He’s expecting you to insist that you’re fine and he doesn’t need to, so it surprises him when you say that he could. 

You’re pacing back and forth in your mind since you’re unable to physically do so, but the thought of Jungkook visiting you this Saturday morning is a lot for you to handle, even if you did say it was alright for him to come. The truth is, you wanted him to, only because selfishly, seeing someone be that worried about you gives you some form of comfort.

You called your family yesterday and told them about the injury, which they obviously panicked about. Your mom asked if you needed her to come to you but like always, you said she didn’t need to. You told Yoongi about it, too, and he was worried as well, in the classic way that he often is; he had food delivered to you for dinner last night so you didn’t have to think about it. You only told your best friends about it this morning and they were furious you waited so long to let them know; they were packing their stuff right as you were speaking to them two hours ago. 

You know you have people to depend on and would be at your doorstep anytime you ask. These are the same people who’ve done that for years and you fully accept their care and attention; it’s become a part of you and your healing process. But when someone like Jungkook who, for whatever reason he has, shows you the same, it feels different; he goes out of his way to show it to you, and he’s not even someone who normally does it. It’s a new kind of comfort, one that you find yourself seeking. So when he called earlier and asked if he could drop by, there was an internal sigh of relief. 

Over half an hour later, your doorbell rings, and you limp your way towards the door to open it. 

Other than being in suits, you’ve only ever seen Jungkook in his gym clothes - half naked as well - and in night out wear. You realize that this is the first time you’re seeing him in a casual outfit, and with a jacket over a sweatshirt and a brown beanie, he looks different - there’s that boyish charm that you’ve never seen; he looks softer, kinder, still reserved but a lot more comfortable.

You let him in after your greetings, then you turn to him and smile. 

“It’s really the suit, I know it now,” you tease. “It’s what makes you look intimidating.”

He looks at his attire then frowns at you. “So how do I look now?”

“Not intimidating.”

“Wow, what a surprise,” he playfully rolls his eyes. “Whereas you…” He eyes you in gray leggings and a blush jumper, looking soft and comfortable and even more like the bright spot he’s realized you are, but he’d never tell you that. “You look injured.”

“Gee, what a surprise. I feel injured, too,” you laugh. “But uhm, it’s nice of you to visit my humble mansion once again.”

“I just wanted to make sure you’re doing better,” he hums. “And bring some more food so you don’t have to worry about it.”

You eye the beef brisket with rice and say that you know what you’ll be having for lunch. He responds that he might just go back to the restaurant and meet his best friends there, too. You return to your seat on the couch, realizing there’s not much room for him to sit on, but he gets to you first, standing in front of you and eyeing the elastic bandage on the table.

“Aren’t you due for a redress?” He asks.

“Yes but uh, I can’t actually reach my foot,” you say with an embarrassed smile. “I’m not really flexible so I’ll just wait until Soomin and Jimin arrive.”

“I can do it,” he offers, thinking that the bandage isn’t serving its purpose if it remains loose. “I mean, I’ve dressed myself on my own before so I’m familiar with it.”

It’s probably the painkillers but something possesses you and you agree, your mind too out of it to take the words back. A part of you wishes you had, especially when your heart does a thing when he kneels on the floor and slowly takes your injured foot. You wiggle your toes in reflex, as if they’re shy, too, and Jungkook laughs at your silly antics, especially when you admit that you’re a little ticklish. 

But he softly looks at you right after and asks if he’s hurting you, and you shake your head, unable to say anything else and process that you really allowed this man - your boss and in-denial crush - to do this. 

You sit there, charmed by the way he looks determined to get this done. He removes the old bandage and wipes your ankle before wrapping it with a new one. His hands are large and quite rough but he’s very gentle, making sure to not lift your foot too high and that the bandage isn’t wrapped too tightly. Once he’s finished, he lays it on the table and looks up at you to ask if it feels okay.

“Yes,” you shyly smile. “Thank you. That was, uh, that was really nice of you.”

He nods and stands up to throw the trash in the bin, wanting to quickly hide his smile at how wholesome you looked in thanking him. 

He proceeds to look around, taking more of your home in. There’s something very calming about it, and it’s more than just the plants that you have and the right amount of sunlight coming from the balcony door and kitchen window. There’s also something familiar, as he looks through your shelf of photos, seeing your mom and her partner for the first time. She looks a lot like you. She has a nice smile like yours, and she sees that same joy on her face as he’d seen on you, as she hugs you tightly in one of the pictures. 

The familiarity is similar to when he first had a whiff of your scent - old rose like the one his mother used to wear, one he remembers as a child when he still clung to her. There are those memories that stick with him. Others he doesn’t have anymore but that’s good, he supposes. Seeing your shelf, he sees all the good and tangible things you hold dear. 

“The photo on the far right, the one with Soomin and Jimin. We took that during my birthday trip using your gift,” you tell him. “It came out really nicely.”

“It did. Did you finish the film? What else did you take photos of?”

“We used it all up,” you smile. “And just a lot of the scenery and the three of us. We all divided them so we could have copies and just remember how fun that week was.”

“Good, that’s what I hoped.”

Jungkook stands there, his jacket now off so his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and his hands are in his pockets as he looks through your shelf. You wonder what he’s thinking, what he’s seeing, if any of this makes him curious. It’s as if he’s taking in all the small parts of who you are that he can see displayed before him. He turns to you and your eyes meet again, and for a moment, it feels like you’re really seeing him and he’s really seeing you, like there’s something only both of you share and understand and want and can give.

But the doorbell ringing disrupts it, with you wondering who it could be since your best friends won’t arrive until an hour from now. Jungkook walks to the door and opens it, surprised to see Yoongi who’s just as surprised to see his friend in your apartment.

“Hey, you’re back. And… here,” you smile, attempting to stand up but Yoongi tells you to stay put. 

“I flew home last night and thought I’d visit and get you some food, but it seems like I’m second in line,” he says, his smug face causing you to glare at him. 

“I just wanted to make sure she was okay,” Jungkook defends. “I won’t stay long.”

“Of course you do. And I won’t stay long either. I don’t wanna disturb anything.” 

He smirks at his friend, prompting Jungkook to glare at him as well. 

“Yah, chill, you two. I’m really just passing by,” Yoongi reiterates, making his way now to sit on the arm of your sofa. “Just wanted to check on ___ and make sure she’s well-fed.”

“I’m injured, not starving, okay?” You groan. “But thanks. What have you got there?”

“Noodles, custard buns, and some tarts. Wasn’t sure what you’re into when you’re incapacitated,” Yoongi shrugs. 

“I’m very much mobile,” you correct him. “Just… slow and limping.”

Jungkook pulls your dining chair and sits in front of you, and the three of you talk as if this isn’t weird at all. You’re all colleagues - you and Jungkook consider Yoongi as your friend, but you don’t know if you should consider your boss as such, and you don’t know if he considers you the same. You’ve definitely experienced a lot of things that could qualify what you have as friendship, but even then, there’s something more about it, something a little more intimate, different, terrifying.

You brave through this dynamic and learn that Yoongi likes to tell Jungkook off a lot. It’s the kind of bluntness you expect from Yoongi’s no-nonsense attitude but it’s refreshing to see him be more straightforward towards someone like Jungkook who you’re used to seeing as commanding and serious. Jungkook takes the hits, seemingly unbothered as they bicker, and it’s another side of him you enjoy seeing - the smiles and laughter are natural, and there’s this comfort about him that you suddenly want more of.

The time passes quickly, with the doorbell ringing again signaling that your friends have arrived. Yoongi gets up first to open the door, greeting them who do the same. You manage to stand up with Jungkook telling you to be careful, and when it dawns on them who else is in your apartment, Jimin’s face turns sour and Soomin’s goes from confused to amused. 

Jungkook looks taken aback by the cold welcome, but he manages to introduce himself to them.

“Oh, we know,” Jimin says dryly. “You’re the one who gives her so much work that she had to do overtime again and that’s why she got hurt.”

You feel the tension come like a strong wave and you try to lower the level a little bit. 

“He also brought me to the hospital and got me some food,” you tell Jimin, whose bitterness isn’t unfounded. He did listen to you complain about this very man all those months ago. “He’s just checking up on me, making sure I’m alright, the way you guys are.”

“As we should,” Jimin huffs. “At least we don’t cause you any injury or pain.”

“You don’t. But you do make things better so could you do that, please?” You say, opening your arms for a hug, something to appease him before it gets even more tense. 

Jimin has the sweetest smile but wouldn’t be afraid to burn anyone down with his looks if they deserve it. Jungkook did at one point, but you obviously feel very differently about that now. But still, you glance at the man, hoping this encounter isn’t putting him off too much, and with the slight tinge of guilt in his eyes, you suppose it hasn’t.

Jungkook turns away, partly because a reminder of how he’d treated you before makes him regret even more how you both started, and partly because seeing you affectionate with any man - even if it’s your best friend - makes him a tiny bit jealous, only because it’s something he can’t be with you. Seeing you that way with Hajoon months ago was different; Jungkook had been more shocked than anything. But this time, given that his attraction towards you seems to grow every second, and that he’s been wanting nothing more than to comfort you, there’s more of that feeling of loss, of hope that it could be him one day, even if that’s something that’ll probably never happen.

“I know you dislike him but tone it down for now, okay?” You whisper to Jimin. “My place is too small to contain all this tension.”

“I know, I’m sorry. Seeing him just reminds me of what you had to go through because of him,” he says before pulling away. “But he did help. And well, Soo and I are still upset that you didn’t tell us sooner. You know we would’ve driven here on Thursday night.”

“I know, and that’s exactly why. You both had something big going on and I could wait,” you reply, a reason you give them everytime. 

Wanting a short breather from all this, you excuse yourself and ask Soomin to help you with something in the bathroom, and she heads there right away.

“Can you make sure that those two don’t murder each other?” You whisper to Yoongi as you gesture towards Jimin and Jungkook.

“It would be entertaining if they did, but yes, I’ll try,” he chuckles.

You walk to where Soomin is and after closing the door, she looks at you with the same amusement that she’s had since she arrived.

“What in the romance drama is this!” She exclaims, lowering her voice when you scold at her to keep it down. “All your three men coming to your home to make sure you’re okay? Talk about making an impression.”

“They aren’t my men, okay!” You scowl at her. “They all just happened to have the same thought. And no, Jimin doesn’t count.”

“Whatever,” Soomin laughs. “It’s just… I know you’re hurt and that you’ll be okay but it’s just amusing to see them show up for you like this. Especially the big boss. He’s way hotter up close, I can tell you that.”

“Please don’t remind me,” you frown. “I wish there was a potion I could take to make him look unattractive to me so that I’d stop being so giddy at everything he does. And fuck, Soo, I haven’t been like this in ages. Or ever.”

“Well, you haven’t been this accepting of someone’s attention, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah, and I’m being silly. I might just be putting myself up for disappointment here,” you groan. “I mean, I don’t even know what I’m feeling, but I know what I’m not supposed to feel. And he’s not making it any easier.”

“Your situation isn’t easy in the first place, hun. And there are many reasons why,” she sighs, wishing there was a way to uncomplicate this very complicated relationship you have with Jungkook. “But whatever it is you think you shouldn’t feel, think about what he may be feeling, too. He wouldn’t be making all this effort since Thursday night for this to just be nothing.”

“I wish none of that means anything. That’s probably gonna be easier, right? That he doesn’t feel anything remotely close to what I do? That’s probably better than dealing with all the complications.”

“Maybe, but we don’t really know,” Soomin says, pulling you in for a hug. “But also think about how new and different this feels. It might be worth it in the long run.”

You fall into her embrace, knowing that during the toughest times of your life, this was your saving grace. It’s no different when you’re confused and in need of guidance, and though you’ve always made decisions for yourself with knowledge of the consequences, Soomin was there to back you up during the times when you were going in somewhat blindly. She wants you to be happy, and you won’t really know if continuing to feel what you do about Jungkook will make you so. If all else fails, well, you could always go back home, or maybe return to Busan and start a life there. Jungkook will just be a memory; you hope to the heavens it’ll be a good one.

You shake away the thoughts and finally go back out and are relieved to find some peace. Jimin’s washing your dishes while talking to Yoongi who wipes them dry. Jungkook sits on your sofa, looking around quietly, but he stands when he sees you approach him. 

“I’ll go ahead,” he says, gesturing towards the door. “I… I think you’ve got everything you need.”

“Let me walk you there,” you smile. 

He’s outside the door when you thank him again then apologize if Jimin made him uncomfortable.

“It’s okay. I’d be protective of my best friend, too, if I learned how their boss treated them,” he responds.

“I, uh… those were hard times and I may have complained quite a bit about you,” you pout. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sure I deserved it,” he chuckles. “You’re lucky you have them. I mean, my best friends tease me a lot and say shit about me to my face and behind my back.”

“Oh come on, Seokjin and Taehyung love you,” you laugh. “I’ve seen it, but you all also said you’re like that to each other; it’s how you guys grew up. I mean, I was the new girl in school and Jimin and Soomin have been protective since day one, whereas your best friends have shown you tough love since you were kids. They said you never accepted their affection so they switched tactics.”

“That’s fair. I was always shy and then turned into a bitter, introverted child. There was no transition, I guess. Now we’re adults and have just stuck with each other because we’re all we’ve ever known.”

“Well, you make decisions to stand by people, Jungkook. They do with you and you do the same with them. Plus, you’re not that insufferable,” you tease. 

“At least you don’t think so. Not anymore, I hope,” he says softly, looking away. 

“People deserve second chances. You gave me some and more and I… I’m glad you did. I at least get to see this side of you that’s helped me a lot these past months. I’m thankful. And I hope you know that.”

Jungkook just nods, unable to reply through words again. You let him, knowing it’s his default response. He walks to his car and turns around for a final goodbye, leaving you in anticipation for when you’d be with him again.

“Well, that was a long goodbye,” Yoongi says, surprising you as he stands behind you. “And no, I didn’t hear anything.”

You turn to him with a playful frown. “I was just making sure that Jimin didn’t make him feel too bad. I mean, I know I complained a lot but still. I didn’t want Jungkook to think I cursed his existence or something.”

“You did at one point though,” Yoongi laughs. “But it’s acceptable. Jungkook was rude, and heavens know how much shit I gave him for treating you the way he did.”

“You did, huh?”

“I always told you I’d look out for you, ___. Whatever happened or didn’t happen between us, I was always going to have your back.”

“You’re heaven-sent, Min Yoongi,” you smile. “I wish I could do half as much as you do for me.”

“You do more. I hope you don’t ever doubt the comfort that your presence gives to people. Maybe that’s what it’s done to Jungkook. And I know he hasn’t felt much of that in years.”

It’s Yoongi’s last words before he says goodbye, and they stay in your head for the next few days. Maybe Soomin’s right - all that Jungkook has been doing might mean something, and you hope that finding out what it is will all be worth it.

Jungkook decides to meet with his friends at one of his favorite restaurants for lunch. All he planned on doing today was visit you and he has nothing else going on for the rest of it. The club scene has become boring for him, and going to one only to bring home a woman to hook up with is no longer appealing, not when you invade his mind all the time.

Being welcomed in your home was refreshing. And even if it was awkward, meeting your friends allowed him another peak into your world. You choose the people you allow in, and you don’t choose many of them. The ones you do stay for a long time, and that’s the kind of person you seem to be. You value relationships so much that’s why you don’t have many of them, and with all that you went through and the vulnerability you’ve both shown each other, he’s started to hope that one day, he’d be deserving of that, too. 

“So did you feel like a fish out of water being there with her actual friends?” Seokjin asks. “Because I don’t know what you’d consider your relationship with her is. Boss-assistant feels too simplistic at this point. Are you friends? Are you more? Or is that all too ambiguous?”

“I don’t… know,” Jungkook sighs. “We’re all that but we also aren’t. We’ve gone through so much that it doesn’t seem like there’s a way to define what we are. But I feel like I’ve seen her at her most vulnerable and we’ve connected because of that.”

“And what about you? Have you been vulnerable in front of her?” Seokjin asks.

Has he? Jungkook thinks. Maybe that first time he asked for your help with his new role but he supposes it’s nothing compared to what you’ve shown him, intentional or not.

“Not really. I… I don’t let myself be. That’s still distance I need to establish,” Jungkook reasons.

“More like, because you know that if you do show that side of you, you’re scared you’ll find out that she’ll understand, and that having her next to you is what you need to heal whatever parts of you that are still hurting?” Seokjin counters. 

“I don’t want to need her, you know that. There’s a boundary I shouldn’t cross. She’s my assistant and—”

“You’ve been treating her like the most important person and it’s not hard to miss,” Taehyung interjects. “You were never like this, not since Chaerin.”

“I don’t even know what it is about ___ that just makes me consider risking things, you know?” Jungkook sighs. “I’m always torn with what our reality is and what we could be but I’m afraid that if we cross that line, we’ll have to make sacrifices. I… I’m finding myself wanting her around all the time. When she leaves, I want her to stay. When she’s not there, I want her to come. But at the same time, I don’t want her too close because I don’t know if I can have her or if I can want her. Because I don’t know what of me I can give that won’t hurt her,” he admits, with a bit of help from some whiskey.

“Maybe if you let yourself be vulnerable, you’d know,” Seokjin advises. “Some people would run and hide but there’s always that one person who wouldn’t. That might just be her. And then you’ll learn what you can give, too.”

Jungkook lets his friends’ words settle and then thinks about them throughout the night that he spends all alone in his penthouse, with another glass of whiskey in his hand as he looks out the balcony. A part of him wants you to run and hide when you see who he really is, what he hides and what he’s ashamed of. Maybe that would be easier, he thinks; maybe that would hurt less.

You return to work the next Tuesday, having gone to the hospital the day before and being cleared to return to your usual routine. Jimin and Soomin stayed with you until that evening, with you rejecting their insistence to stay another day. You can manage, you assure them. You’re able to walk properly now and would just need to do daily exercises, wear the elastic bandage for another week, and forego the heels. 

Jungkook’s pleased to know that you’re doing better and makes sure you don’t walk around if you don’t need to, so he’s been the one going to see you when he needs something. He also postponed some potential site visits for the project that he and Hoseok are working on until you’re fully capable, which is why it’s three weeks later when you find yourself in the car with him, on the way to some towns in nearby provinces on an early Friday morning. 

Mr. Ri called in sick today and Jungkook didn’t want to deal with a chauffeur he doesn’t know, so he decided to drive instead, thinking it’s more efficient that way. These are all initial checks and being that you’re the only one from his team who’s privy to the details, he wanted you to join him as a sounding board and also to get your own thoughts about what you’ll be seeing. He has a vision in mind and he needs to translate it properly; you’ve been helpful these past months in making sure he’s able to do that.

Disregarding what this time alone with you would do to him, Jungkook meets you in his penthouse, telling himself to focus on only one thing today, and that’s finding the right place for his planned project. 

You leave early for a quick stop at a cafe and then head north to some towns in Gyeonggi province. There are some properties and land that are up for sale, and you prepared the information about them beforehand, allowing Jungkook to play around with the timeline and budget in his mind, even drawing rough drafts on his iPad as he assesses them. You’re both in work-mode, discussing each site on the way to the next one, with you searching for more details along the way and him, stopping on the side of the road to add an idea that he comes up with on the spot. 

It’s a little chaotic, as his mind goes from one thing to another, but you suppose this is how Jungkook naturally is. You’ve seen him perform his duties in various ways, but this is when you see the most raw side of him, and it’s quite the privilege to see. He always said he preferred the creative aspect of the job, which is why he enjoyed his time in Singapore, handling the design department. You contend that he’s grown tremendously in his executive role. As Hoseok has said, Jungkook relates to his staff better now, and has even engaged and attracted more partners with his great ideas.

You’re quite sentimental going on this trip with him. It wasn’t long ago when you were going to work with anxiety, anticipating his next criticism so you can prepare yourself, and then going home feeling like a failure. So much has happened since then, and you could even say that you’ve found comfort in your daily routines; doing something different like this is now exciting and something you look forward to, especially since it allows you to go outside, see the sights, and breathe the cool air. 

“You okay there?” He asks, noticing your silence.

“Yeah. I was just thinking how 10 months ago, this would’ve stressed me out so much.”

“What? Going on a road trip?”

“Pretty much going anywhere with you,” you laugh. “Car rides even with Mr. Ri made me freak out, and I was so scared to make a mistake or make you wait for information that I couldn’t find. And now here we are - I survived the last five hours with you and not once did you groan at me.”

“Wow, I must’ve been a really terrible boss to make your standard for a non-stressful day to be that low,” he laughs before turning serious. “But I… I’m… I’m sorry, for all the stress and anxiety that I caused you. I was being selfish and irrational about it. I hate change and you were the biggest one, even with my new role. I took out all the frustration on you and I shouldn’t have.”

He says more than he expected, but it’s also the apology that he should’ve given—that you deserved —months ago. 

“I forgive you,” you say softly, glancing at him before returning your eyes towards the road. “I always knew my limits and I guess I let you push it and that was on me. I could’ve stood up to you, too.”

“You did though, more than once. And that knocked some sense into me.”

“I guess,” you hum. “And then things improved and I’m just glad they did.”

There’s a prolonged silence after, as you both opt to bask in the scenery around you. There’s that understanding and acceptance of how things were and that regardless of what’s going on in your own minds, you at least have this. You think to yourself that this just makes leaving that much harder, but at least this is one more memory you could take with you.

You make it to Hwacheon in Gangwon past noon, and this is where you spend most of your time in, as the sites are spread out around the county. There are areas tucked away in the mountains while there are those closer to town with grand views. It’s in the latter where you grab some lunch and go through some of his plans, and you take in his ideas, learning from him in the process. 

It’s late in the afternoon when you inspect the final site, which is in an area in the neighboring Chuncheon county. It’s got potential for another project that CEO Jeon is looking to do, and with your notes completed, you and Jungkook start the trip back home. You would reach the tail-end of the Friday night traffic by the time you return to Seoul, the GPS says, and so both of you savor the sky’s changing colors as it transitions to the evening, letting the soft sounds of the radio replace the silence.

Barely 30 minutes in, the rain starts to pour, and it’s seconds later when it dawns on you what that means, as you hear heavy breathing next to you. You turn to Jungkook whose hands are tightly gripping the wheel, with sweat lining his eyebrows despite the cool temperature.

“Did the forecast say it was gonna rain?” He asks, the mix of panic and frustration evident in his voice. 

“Yes, but not until late in the evening,” you say, checking your phone to make sure you got the correct information. 

Your heart breaks upon realizing that at midday, the weather station warned that there was going to be a thunderstorm, with rainfall coming in around this time. You inform Jungkook, and despite all the progress in your relationship, your heart breaks a second time when he says that you should’ve constantly checked, that the weather changes all the time and you should’ve been mindful, and that now you’re both gonna be stuck on the road because he’s unable to drive and you don’t know how to. His tone is harsh, accusatory, as if it was something you could control, as if everything was your fault, just like how it was before.

Jungkook stops on the side of the road as the downpour continues, and he leans his head on the steering wheel now as he takes deep breaths. You tell him he could breathe better if he sits straight up, but he ignores you. 

A part of you wants to remark how it’s ironic that just earlier, he was apologizing for the way he treated you, and now it’s like you’ve both taken a few steps back. You want to say it’s not your fault, that you wouldn’t even have known that the rain affected him this way if you hadn’t seen him be nervous about it when you went home from the gala last year. But you think about the way his eyes looked earlier, how they filled with worry and fear, like there was a sense of powerlessness that you know a little about. 

So you settle for a bit of grace and understanding, thinking they’re what he needs.

“I don’t know why this is on me,” you say softly. “I didn’t know how bad it was but if I did, I would’ve checked constantly and I would’ve had us turn back the second I saw that forecast. And if I could drive, I’d drive us back as fast as I could. I’m sorry.”

He slows his breathing and sits up. His hands still tightly gripping the wheel but his eyes are downcast, and you suppose there’s more sadness than anger, so you stop pressing your nails on your skin, which you’d started doing in anticipation of him arguing with you about it.

“I don’t like the rain,” he shares, his voice low. “I… I have a bad memory of it as a kid and I just get reminded whenever it starts. I panic when it gets louder and I just… I can’t stay out here when that's all I can hear.”

His honesty surprises you. You can’t imagine how it must’ve been like for him, even more that he has to suffer through this right now in front of you, considering how hard it is for him to express how he feels. You don’t know how bad this weather is gonna go, and at this pace, the thunderstorm will probably reach you by the time you make it back to Seoul. So you do what you do best, and that’s to come up with options. 

“There’s a guesthouse not far from here,” you say after checking the map. “It’s the closest one. We could spend the night there and wait out the rain. That’s better than being stuck here or continuing the drive back to the city.”

He nods in agreement, knowing there’s not much he could do. He doesn’t want to be stuck here; even more, he doesn’t want to unload on you nor have you witness how much worse it could be. 

He keys in the address you give him while you call the property and ask if they still have available rooms. They do, so you reserve two and sigh in relief that that’s one problem solved.

You make it there in 15 minutes. Jungkook heads out the car first with the rain having eased up a bit, and you retrieve his luggage from the trunk, the one he keeps there for emergency trips and instances like this one. It has enough clothes for a day, and you’re glad that at least he has something to change into.

You make it inside and meet the owners then introduce yourself, stating that you reserved two rooms. 

“I’m so sorry but we had to give up one of them,” the woman says. “A family came in with a baby and we couldn’t turn them away. The weather’s going to get worse tonight and we try to accommodate as many people as we can. I hope you understand.”

“That’s… that’s okay,” you say, knowing you would’ve done the same. 

The thought of sharing a room with Jungkook feels too intimate and definitely not good for your heart, added to the fact that you’re probably not his favorite person right now, so you try to find a way out. You turn to the living room and see the sofa that’s big enough for you, so you ask if you can just stay there instead.

“Our cleaners will be using that space since they can’t go home due to the rain. I’m sorry again, Miss. Your room has twin beds so I hope that eases your worry somehow.”

“It’s fine, we’ll manage,” Jungkook says from behind you, hoping to the heavens that he will. He has one fear, and that’s you seeing how he really is during times like this.

He takes the key and walks up the stairs to the room you’re given. It’s spacious with a fair enough distance between both beds. He takes the one farther from the window then gets his clothes from his bag. It dawns on him that you don’t have your own with you, so he offers you his sweatshirt. 

“It’s okay,” you shake your head. “It’s gonna be cold and you’re gonna need it.”

“So will you. You can’t be in wet clothes, not in this weather.”

“It’s happened before,” you shrug.

“___, just take it,” he insists, placing the item on your bed. “I have a top here that I can wear and the blankets will be enough. This is loose but it’s at least better than damp clothing. And you can go ahead in the bathroom. I’ll just give Mr. Ri a call.”

You nod and head out, taking his jumper and the towel with you. You’re given some basic toiletries, and the warm shower is just what you need for that bit of comfort after a stressful evening. As you’re about to dress up inside, you hear a knock on the door.

“I asked the lady if they had spare pajamas for you and she gave me a set,” Jungkook says from outside. “I’ll leave them on a stool by the door.”

You wait for him to leave before getting them and putting them on. It’s a plain set of shorts and shirt that’s a little big but it’s way better than your damp skirt and blouse, which the owners offered to wash and dry for you for tomorrow.

You return to the room with Jungkook sitting on the floor, and you give him back his sweatshirt that he turns down. 

“I’m fine,” he insists. “Don’t you get cold easily? You’ll need that.” 

He walks out, barely meeting your eyes. You’re sitting on the edge of your bed when he returns half an hour later, the sight of him with damp hair in black sweatpants and a white sleeveless top doing things to you. But you shake the thoughts away, especially as he once again creates that distance. He doesn’t look at you when he settles in bed, nor when he switches off his bedside light, and definitely not when he turns around to face the other way. You sigh to yourself, feeling even more alone now with him acting like this.

You can’t really blame him though. Dealing with something that elicits painful memories is difficult, and you understand the tendency to isolate yourself and push people away when that happens. It’s what you do sometimes, but still, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt you a little when Jungkook does this to you, considering how good your relationship has become, regardless of your stupid attraction.

Settling in your bed, you decide to turn around and face the window. You focus on the droplets creating their own artwork on the glass, in hopes that it’ll help you take your mind off Jungkook, even if he’s literally just a few feet away from you. The last thing you want is a strained relationship, and you hope that this doesn’t make him fall back into his old ways. Although he’s experienced a few stressful moments these past months, they weren’t personal, and you suppose situations like this are when his emotions truly come out.

The rain has gotten stronger again and you’re pleased that Jungkook isn’t awake for this, based on the soft snores you hear. You’re about to fall asleep, the sound hypnotizing you a little, but that’s when the first blare of thunder strikes, causing you to jerk in bed in surprise. It used to scare you because of what it reminded you of, but you learned how to manage it after the first hit; the succeeding ones are no longer triggering. In fact, you just think of how it used to drown out the sounds of what you were truly afraid of.

Just then, you hear distressed moans. The sounds of frantic breathing and shifts on the bed follow right after. And then there’s a restrained groan, like a call for help that doesn’t fully come out, and that’s what alarms you. You immediately get off the bed and rush to Jungkook’s side. You see that he’s still asleep, his body - now uncovered by the blanket - is tense, despite his efforts of turning about. The low sounds of almost-cries convince you that he’s having a nightmare. 

Thunder hits once again and it’s much louder this time, eliciting another frantic response from Jungkook. He’s kicking the covers while gripping the sheets, and with another roar of thunder that causes him to scream, that’s when you decide to wake him up. 

“Jungkook, hey, listen to me,” you say, sitting on the edge of the bed and keeping his head still with your hands. You’re able to control him as he continues tossing and turning, repeating his name until he slowly opens his eyes. “Hey, you’re safe with me, okay? Just focus on my voice.”

He’s awake now and you see the worry in his eyes, but you talk to him calmly, wanting him to trust you. It works, as he nods and slows down his movements. But he’s still breathing heavily, his lips chattering and the rest of his body shivering. 

You anticipate another hit of thunder, and you’re able to shield him from it, pressing your palms on his ears, trying to drown out the sound. You stay that way, thumbing his temples as you tell him it’s okay, that you’ve got him, and that it’ll be over soon. You hold his gaze to let him know that you’re not going anywhere, and his pretty eyes that often look so far away are now overtaken with fear. 

“Just look at me, alright? And follow my breathing,” you instruct him, your voice as gentle as you can make it despite your own worries for him.

He does as you say, his hands gripping your wrists as if to keep them there, and you assure him that you won’t let go until he says so.

“You’re doing good, just keep breathing,” you repeat, pacing your breathing with his until you’re doing it together. 

You don’t know how long you stay that way, with his head between your hands and your eyes locked on his. It takes a while, but the thunder eventually stops and the rain eases. Jungkook finally calms down and you slowly release him from your hold. You watch him shut his eyes, as if in desperation to let everything go, before he opens them again. 

“Is that better?” You ask, moving just a bit farther from him to give him space, but you remain close, wanting to be next to him in case something happens again.

“Yeah, that was, uh… that was tiring,” he huffs.

“I think the thunder has passed but if it happens again, I’ll be here, okay?”

He nods, his soft and desperate eyes now looking at you to express his gratitude. You want so badly to hug him, to hold his still-shaking hands and assure him that he’s not alone, that you won’t let anything hurt him for the rest of the night, and that you understand it all - whatever it is he’s afraid of, and why he keeps it all to himself.

But you suppose that’s going too far. You’re afraid that you’d want to stay there, even more if he doesn’t want you to. So you nod as well and think that he at least has this to comfort him, that he at least knows you’re just there.

You walk back to your bed and lie down, facing him this time. You smile, wanting that assurance to be the last thing he sees before he falls asleep again. Jungkook does the same as he settles under the covers, patting it down so he could see you better. You both stay there, safe in your corners, your eyes telling each other things you can’t say.

Whatever distance you felt earlier has shortened. Right now, with both of you falling asleep to each other’s view, he’s never felt so close.

The morning after heavy rain is always bittersweet. There’s the reality of the damage it caused but you also can’t deny that it gives life to other living things. What it also does is make way for clear skies and give you that fresh, rainwater scent of the grass and the trees. It’s what you see and smell when you open the bedroom windows, reminding you that the evening has passed and the worst is over. 

You spot Jungkook seated on one of the chairs in the garden, and you hope that the view is making him feel better, with the nightmare from last night slowly drifting away from his mind. You dress up in the dry clothes you find hanging on the doorknob of the room then head downstairs, surprised to see food prepared in the dining area. The tofu stew and grilled mackerel are so appetizing, and the loud rumbling of your stomach reminds you that you didn’t eat last night, with all the stress making dinner your last priority.

“Hello, dear. It was a pretty hard evening so we prepared something for our guests,” the owner says, her radiant smile reflecting the brightness of the day. “You may call your friend outside so you can both eat and get ready for a long drive home.”

You thank her then call Jungkook, his eyes brightening when he walks back inside and sees the food. He engages in conversation with the owners, asking about this town and the surrounding ones, and what their appeal is to non-residents. You gauge that he’s doing a bit of research himself, and you think he’s at least not too out of it to still do so.

“You’re free to stay until noon,” the owner informs you. “You can enjoy the view outside; it’s really pretty now that the sky has cleared. I’ll be making tea shortly as well.”

Jungkook says he’ll return to the garden and you wait for the hot drinks before following him. You’re unsure if he wants you around but you try, sitting next to him then sighing in relief when he doesn’t move away.

“I was 10 years old when my parents sent me and my brother to a cabin somewhere in Hwasun,” he starts. “I thought they were coming with us but it was just me and Jeong-sik and some staff. He and I never got along. If he wasn’t ignoring me, he was teasing me. But that day, he convinced me to play hide-and-seek, saying that by the time he finds me, our parents would be back. We were outdoors and I ended up wandering too far, so close to the woods that I couldn’t find my way back. My brother hadn’t come and I was getting scared. And then it started to rain.”

“Jungkook, you don’t have to—”

“It started getting stronger and the skies had become so dark, I could barely see anything,” he continues, his eyes fixed towards the mountains faraway. “The rain made the ground slippery so I decided to just sit by a large tree and hope someone would find me. It felt like hours and maybe it was. The thunder was so loud then and it kept going and going and going. And I was drenched and all alone, and no matter how hard I screamed, no one could hear me.”

“I’m so sorry, Jungkook,” you say, feeling your heart break as he narrates a painful memory that you can relate with. 

It’s only close to what you experienced yet it feels so real to you. You can feel his fear and his pain in the tremble of his voice, in the way he grips on the edges of the bench, in the way his jaw clenches at the memory, like it’s one he’s tried hard to bury yet can’t get rid of, no matter how hard he tries. 

But this feels so personal, and you don’t want him to feel like he needs to share it with you.

“You don’t have to explain,” you add. “I know it’s difficult to share something like that.”

“But I want to,” he responds, turning to you now. “Because I’ve carried the memory with me for 20 years and I’ve been dealing with it all on my own. But that’s not an excuse to treat you the way I did last night. That’s not a reason for me to take it out on you and especially to blame you. That was wrong of me and I’m sorry, ___. I…”

He looks down, perhaps trying to gather the courage he needs to be honest with you, to be vulnerable with you.

“I don’t want you to think that I didn’t need you because I did,” he adds. “I was scared and I didn’t think I needed you but you were there and I’m so sorry.”

You sit there and watch him cower onto himself, and somehow you see the little boy who was scared, who was wondering why he’d been left alone, who was waiting for someone to come find him or perhaps… someone to sit there and be with him until the rain stopped. There’s a lot he carries; there’s also a lot he buries, as if there’s a bottomless hole within him where he keeps everything hidden but it still feels too heavy, too much, taking from him every time he hides something new. 

You don’t say anything for a while, as you start to see Jungkook for who he really is. You feel the weight of his words and how much it took for him to say them. It’s not that his experience makes him different, but now that you know the pain he’s been carrying with him, you’re able to see the other parts of him that he’s unable to show, perhaps too afraid that someone wouldn’t understand, or that they wouldn’t stay if they found out why he keeps his distance and why he pushes people away.

Your silence prompts him to look up. You meet his eyes and see the sadness in them and it feels like he needs more than just forgiveness.

“We do things we don’t mean to when we’re afraid,” you tell him. “It doesn’t always mean we intend on hurting them. And I understand that, more than you know. I’ll never take that against you.”

Jungkook nods, shifting again towards the view as he lets your words sink in. He was hoping for forgiveness, but he got so much more. Maybe there’s a reason why you’ve been patient and gentle with him ever since the beginning. Perhaps you’re carrying your own burden and painful memories that you’re unable to share and deal with, too, and though he’s nothing like you, there’s comfort in knowing that you’re the same somehow.

He senses you turn back to look at the mountains, and the silence prompts him to continue the story of an experience he’s only shared twice before - once to his best friends and another time with Chaerin, all of whom have seen this side of him - the scared and vulnerable side. They were understanding and supportive as well, trying to find ways to comfort and help him deal with it. You’re the third and the one he’s known the shortest time, yet he feels more comfort with you than anyone who’s ever tried.

“I fell asleep at that tree while waiting,” he recalls. “The next thing I know, I was being carried back to the cabin. The rain had stopped but it was still dark, and I was tended to until I fell asleep again. I was sick for days and I didn’t see my parents until we were back in Seoul. It’s just a hard thing to remember. I know we have selective memories and I always wish that’s one thing that I don’t ever have to remember but life isn’t that kind, I guess.”

“It isn’t. But we learn to face those fears though, and manage them. It’s the only way we can get through it,” you say.

“Have you?” He asks, wondering if that’s another similarity he shares with you. 

“Not really. I wouldn’t be alone and where I am if I have,” you say. “But I’m trying. And I’ll continue to.”

“That makes one of us,” he sighs. 

“Well, it’s not always easy if you’re not quite sure what you’re really afraid of,” you respond. “Is it just thunder?”

“Yeah… but once the rain starts, it tells me that thunder could come. It doesn’t always but it’s what my brain tells me. Then I get anxious and I… I don’t know what to do. Like I’m paralyzed and unable to think or move. I just… stay there and sometimes, I don’t even know what’s happening.”

“Well, it rained when I got injured,” you remind him. “But you managed to get me to the hospital. And you stayed with me. That’s definitely something.”

“You were hurt and it was more important that you got treated,” he reasons. “That was scary and I guess my brain told me to get shit done that moment.”

“So… do I always have to be hurt for you to get through the rain when it starts getting bad?” You ask.

“Don’t talk like that. I can’t have you going through that again,” he frowns at you. 

The way he reacts to the thought of you being hurt gives you that warm feeling again. But it reminds you that you feel the same. You don’t want him to be scared, you don’t want him hurt, too.

“Fine. But when it starts to rain and you’re all alone and you feel like you can’t manage, you call me, okay?” You tell him.

“And what would that do?”

“That way I can talk you through it. Maybe go to you if you want me to.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because during the times I was afraid and alone, you were there,” you bravely say, turning to him and prompting him to do the same. “Sometimes something triggers those memories but then I think of how you stayed with me in the alley and in the playground and in my apartment. I think of you and I stop feeling scared. Maybe you can think of last night when it starts to get bad, too. And we can just create more of those memories to override the bad ones. Wouldn’t that be better?”

He savors your words, not realizing how much you’ve held onto your moments together. And he understands that now. The way you held him together last night is ingrained in his mind, and if that’s how it feels to be with you during his darkest moments, he starts to wonder how good it would feel during the good ones.

Maybe he’ll start with this, as you both sip citrus tea while looking at the lush mountains out on the horizon. He’ll continue with the scenic drive back to Seoul and a stopover at a cafe for some iced coffee and conversations about good memories. And at least for today, he’ll end with the sight of you walking to your apartment and then turning around to wave him goodbye, and then your smile giving him warmth on this cold afternoon.

The door shuts and he starts the trip back to his place - empty, lonely, just like how it’s been for years, all his pent up emotions bringing him to this point of isolation. But there’s you - the feel of your touch, the soothing sound of your voice, and the gentleness that got him through the night.

He misses you already. And much as he knows he’s in big trouble, thinking about you and wanting you is all he could do.

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[torialefay]

in dire need of any crumbs of comforting wholesome domestic channie fluff content right now, idk if that's up your alley but if you got any headcanons in mind lately by all means share them with us haha

i'm so sorry i'm so late (life is crazy actually), but you've got me thinking anon 🫶🏼

✨ some things i think gentleman boyfriend chan would do: ✨

• you are never carrying your own luggage again. you finally make it to aus to visit with chan & his family. as soon as you message to let him know you're here, he's basically running out of the house in the first pair of shoes he finds to grab all of your bags before you get the chance to. if you protested, he'd give in and let you hold a small bag/carry on... just long enough for him to get the other luggage into the house and grab the rest from your hands.

• he is taking care of anything you could possibly need at a restaurant. you'd rather him order for you? done. you got a big steak that may take you a while to get cut up? he's already doing it. need the smallest thing from the waiter? he's (ever so kindly) flagging them down the second he realizes there's something you want. have a bunch of left-overs that you'd like to take home? if the restaurant doesn't pack it up themselves, he's automatically taking your plate to get it into the box for you. no questions asked.

• you are simply not allowed to be cold ever again. at his house, he's always giving you a new sweater/hoodie to wear. if you got out and feel a bit chilly, his jacket is now yours. he's constantly making fun of you for being cold, so he's buying you beanies left and right, telling you to pop one on like it'll solve all your problems (bc apparently it does for him).

• you will NEVER feel scared or unprotected. when walking with you, there's never a moment he's disconnected from you as he watches you walk in front of him. when you get concerned over bad things you'd heard on the local news, he insists he stays at your place to make sure you feel safe. when he senses you feeling nervous out in public, he squeezes the hand he's holding before rubbing light circles on it, reminding you that he's there and that he won't let anything bad happen.

• he's making sure to keep a respectful image of you. if you're wearing a short dress while out, he will give you his coat to rest over your legs. if he notices paparazzi taking photos of you together, he will move himself so that he's blocking their view of you. when running into fans while on the street with you, he introduces you right away so they know that you are now a package deal with him.

• and finally, he probably WON'T stop flirting with stays on bubble, BUT he will dial it wayyyy back. and that's saying a lot for him <3

our little gentleman channie baby 🥰

[whimsyfinny]

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Charlie discovers the Winchester boys to be struggling with keeping the bunker tidy, looking after themselves and being able to do their job simultaneously. Luckily she has a friend who’s from a Hunter family that is in need of work and can help them with research. Or so she thought that’s what her job would be. When Dean sees your more domesticated side, his head won’t stop swimming with all the wrong ideas.

Slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut

Warnings: language

Chapter Word Count: 2288

—-MDNI—-

A/N: AHHHHHHHHH IM SOOOOOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG ITS NOT EVEN A SPICEY CHAPTER… I hope it’s ok! Let me know of any errors as I’m the only proof reader .

——————————————————————

Please read the below:

Prologue Chapter 1

Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Chapter 6 Chapter 7

Chapter 8pt1

Chapter 8pt2

Chapter 9

I’m Not Your F*cking Maid

Chapter 10

I stood in the kitchen over the stove, the smell of bacon tickling my nose as it sizzled in the pan. Watching the fat and grease splutter, my mind replayed the rapturous events of last night with every tantalising memory bringing heat to my skin and fluttering to my pulse. The simple thought of Deans hands on me set my whole body aflame. Not to mention that I woke up in his room, in his arms, listening to his soft breathing as he slept peacefully - not a single crease between his brows as he slumbered unburdened. I had crept out, not wanting to torment myself by staying by his side until he awoke.

I had eaten breakfast alone; neither of the boys rising early enough for us to eat together, so I tucked in whilst the food was still hot. I was a mixture of grateful and ungrateful in this instance. Grateful, because I could be left alone with my sinful thoughts - and ungrateful, because I didn’t want to be left alone with my sinful thoughts. They were driving me insane, spinning around and around inside my head. I desperately needed to remind myself that Dean Winchester was an insufferable jackass who seemed to be making it his life’s mission to get under my skin. And I couldn’t let him.

Oh Bobby, if you could see me now, you’d be so disappointed in my life choices…

I had just tidied the kitchen and placed the food in the fridge when I heard the front door open and close and I made my way to the main room - Charlie appearing at the top of the stairs wielding half a dozen shopping bags.

“Good morning bitches!” She beamed as she began making her way down, right as Sam and Dean strode in, sleep weighing on their features. I opened my mouth to respond but my gaze snagged on Dean, who was already looking at me and my words evaporated in my mouth. We stared at each other, both of us with a sort of dumbfounded look about our faces. Charlie stepped next to me, looking between us.

“I said… good morning bitches! No? Anyone?”

Without saying a word I grabbed her hand through the countless loops of shopping bag handles and dragged her through the bunker until we reached my room. I pushed her through the door and slammed it behind us, leaving the frenzy in the hallway as we looked at each other in silence. I huffed out a sigh, running my hands through my hair before cupping my cheeks. She dropped the bags and sat on the edge of my bed.

“What’s going on with you? Are you ok? You see-”

“I fucked Dean.”

“No!”

“Twice.”

“NO!”

I nodded and sat next to her as she jumped up, a wild look on her face.

“You fucked the guy you beat the shit out of?”

I nodded again, biting my lip and cringing.

“I thought you hated him?”

“I do. I mean, I don’t hate him. He just infuriates me so much.”

She pauses for a second, smirking and raising her brows as she sits down beside me.

“Was it good?”

I closed my eyes and breathed out, memories flooding my brain.

“Oh my God Charlie you have no idea…” I crisscross my legs and face her, and she does the same. We look like a couple of teenage girls talking about our high school crushes at a sleepover.

“That good?”

“It was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. He’s ruined me,” I sighed as I saw her wicked expression, her gaze flitting between myself and the shopping bags abandoned on the floor.

“What?”

She picked up one of the bags and plunged her hand in, fishing around for a second before pulling out an outfit. There were… bunny ears?

OH

A slutty bunny outfit was thrown onto the bed, the bodysuit crafted with expertise and soft black velvet, with shaping-bones ascending the bodice and plush padding in the bra cups. The white cuffs were made of soft, pressed cotton, and amongst it all I spotted a little fluffy tail.

“Why have you bought me a Playboy outfit?” I raised an eyebrow, unable to stop myself from finding out if the tail was as soft as it looked. It was. Charlie beamed.

“Because the girls at this club are known for their irresistible aesthetic. You’ll need to blend in. But don’t worry,” she gestured to the other bags, “if you don’t want to be a bunny I bought you more.”

“Of course they wear outfits…” I groaned, knowing that the boys will never let me live this down.

“Plus…” Charlie wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, “now that I know you’re FINALLY getting laid, you can actually put these towards their intended use.”

I smirked and threw a pillow at her.

“Oh yeah? And when was the last time you got laid?”

She rolled off the bed dramatically before throwing the pillow back at me.

“A lady never tells!”

“Bullshit!” I laughed, before grabbing the outfit off the covers and headed to the bathroom to try it on.

*

The afternoon passed by quickly, most of it spent trying on those ridiculous outfits that Charlie had bought for me. I must have tried on a dozen, ranging from ‘let’s only cover flaps and nips,’ to ‘you’re gonna need x-ray vision’. I went for something in between, not too scandalous but enough skin on show to get the wolves howling. Charlie lounged around on my bed reading comics and muttering to herself whilst I busied away getting ready, doing my hair and makeup and quadruple checking that this ridiculous outfit wasn’t going to spontaneously explode off my body. Overall the whole ordeal took around five hours from start to finish - six if you include lunch and coffee breaks, and six and a half hours if you took into account all the occasions that Deans ego led him to believe that we ‘might need a mans opinion’ on the matter. Said ego had many a door slammed in his face.

Evening had rolled around and I pulled a long coat over myself - another gift from Charlie - making sure that it covered everything not meant for outside a club environment. Or Comic Con, actually, because I eventually learnt that Charlie had purchased this particular outfit from a cosplay website. It explained a lot to be honest. From the quality fabric to the delicate lace trims and tiny petticoats, it was made to a much higher standard than anything else she’d brought with her. Adorning the final touch upon my head, I exited my room before joining the others in the research room, my heels clicking softly on the hard floor.

Upon arrival, all eyes were on me. On my face, my cloaked body, my exposed calves and heeled feet. It was like every other gaze in this room was trying to see through the wool of the overcoat concealing the surprise beneath; a present to be unwrapped… a meal to be devoured. I wasn't sure who to look at, every set of eyes hot with expectation so I chose to study the ribbons on the top of my stilettos, observing in great detail how the fabric shined in the dim lighting. A moment passed before Sam cleared his throat.

“Come on guys, let's get going.”

It should have been Sam that I looked at when I replied, but my eyes were drawn to Dean like a compass to North. His jaw was tight and his eyes dark, as though it pained him to not know what I was wearing. Although he could have been thinking anything really, as we hadn't exactly spoken much since the tantalising events of the previous night and we definitely hadn't spoken about what had happened. I think we were both well aware of the dangerous situation we were putting ourselves in, despite trying to act oblivious to any consequences. We both knew at some point the conversation needed to be had.

“Yes,” I replied to Sam, my voice cracking from the anxiety starting to crawl up my spine, “let's get going before I freeze to death.”

*

The car ride was quiet. Too quiet. Dean was in a weird headspace and didn't crack any of his usual jokes or poke fun at anyone in the car. Sam hadn't made eye contact with me since I gave him the dance, and whenever our eyes met his face erupted into a red-hot blush. Tapping away on her tablet, Charlie paid no mind to any of the silence at first, both of us in the back seat minding our own business. However after a long wait at a red light, she glanced over at me before pulling out her phone and tapped away. It didn't take long for my own phone to vibrate. Retrieving it from my pocket, I opened the message from her.

Chazzie: wtf is going on with you and these guys?

I sighed and wrote my reply.

Me: it's a long story… and tbh I didn't give you all the details about me and Dean…

Chazzie: bitch this is a long drive, tell me! I know Sam won't look at you and Dean won't STOP looking at you. And I know Dean, he's normally a ‘no strings’ kinda guy. But bitch you've got that man on a leash.

I sighed again, throwing her a look before giving in and typing away.

Me: so Dean made me annoyed and told me I would be no good for this mission because he doubted I could even do a basic lap dance. Well, it ground my gears so yesterday evening I put on some music and gave a lap dance to prove my point.

Chazzie: ooh I bet he was in heaven, I remember when you took those classes! You were soooo good <3

Me: awww thanks babes <3 but I didn't give the dance to Dean… I danced for Sam…

I heard her choke on her own spit as she read the message and she threw me a disbelieving look.

Chazzie: WHAT?! Why Sam?! I mean it explains why he won't look at you. But whhhyyy? When you've already fucked D-boi?

Me: tbh I was mad at Dean and I wanted him to suffer. Plus I had a point to prove, he needed to be able to see the show to know I was good.

Chazzie: I mean that's true! How did he take it when you danced for Sam?

Me: tbh I don't think he was best impressed at first, but then I think he just enjoyed the show. … I do feel a bit bad for Sam tho for dragging him into his. I feel bad for using him.

Chazzie: don't! I can tell he loved every minute of it from the permanent blush on his face hehehe. You're a wicked woman tho. Really torturing those boys. How long did it take for Dean to come to your room?

Me: ughhh don’t even joke… you make me sound like I'm in some shitty YA novel… and technically he didn't come to my room. I bumped into him in the corridor. Then he told me he ‘couldn't stop thinking about me’. The we made out and then we eventually fucked in my room.

Chazzie: Welp somehow you've made Dean Winchester your bitch. Gold medal for you, because I've seen soooo many girls try and fail. So did he wake up in your room or did he go back to his? Because this is fucking important.

I looked at her and felt my face heat up, a grin appearing on her face as she playfully smacked my arm.

Chazzie: bitch seriously?! He stayed the night?!

Me: technically no… my sheets were ruined so we slept in his bed instead …

Before anymore texts could be exchanged, I felt the car slow to a stop and the handbrake engaged, engine flicking off. Dean turned to face us, doing a double take over my blushing expression and Charlie's wild grin. He mumbled something under his breath about this making him nervous before he faced forward again and Sam turned around instead, his soft gaze scanning my made-up eyes and lips.

“Are you sure you're ok with this (Y/n)? Because it's still ok for you to back out now if you want.”

The older Winchester tore his gaze away from the lone two-storey building before us; its neon lights reflecting in the puddles on the pavement. Two guys in leather jackets stood outside, and I'm assuming they were security. Dean's expression turned to one of unease as he surveyed the club from a distance.

“Exactly what Sammy said. (Y/n) this is dangerous and I don't want you going in there. Back out now.”

I couldn't help but scoff and roll my eyes.

“I've not gotten this far and this fucking dressed up to give up now. Besides, my safety isn't as important as the safety of the civilians who are at risk of leaving these vamps even a day longer. You know that. That's why we do this job-”

“Look, your safety is all I give a shit about.”

Dean's assertiveness came as a slight shock, not just to myself but to him as well. We blinked at each other before I turned to Charlie.

“Do you have the paperwork and ID I need to get in?” I heard Dean sigh and turn back to face the steering wheel, cursing under his breath. Without saying another word, I took the envelope from Charlie's grasp and flung the door to the impala open, clambered out and slammed the door behind me.

——————————————————————

@suckitands33 @jackles010378 @aliceeinwonderland420 @tina-theslytherin @deans-queen @hobby27 @sobearcowboy @girls-alias @selfdestructionandrhum @ericasabe @lacilou @littlemadamred @anneanirac @deans-baby-momma @swimregulas @ashdoctor @littlemarvelstan8 @atcamillanorrman @deangirl96 @zannemes @kr804573 @foxyjwls007 @divadinag @cookiemonstermusic258 @mysterialee @ababy-girl @joonseuph0ria @mxltifxnd0m @deans-spinster-witch @st4bl3-ch40s @feyresqueen @roseblue373 @clusterfuck-meup @urinternetmom @rachiem4-blog @ceeshellecee @mojos-hidden-castle @snowayumi @evzyi @mymuseisbipolar @magssteenkamp @koharuheartfilia @spookyysinsanity @safiyas-world @uncle-eggy @happyt0exist @supernaturalstilinski @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @mrsjenniferwinchester

Up Next: Chapter 11

[ghcstao3]

that one slower scene in every superhero movie when the good guys take a beating from the villain and need to regroup, so one of the members of the team is like 'i know a place'.

so, nik gets some coordinates from soap and flies them to a countryside in scotland where mrs mactavish greets them on the front porch of a lovely house and immediately threats them with an ass whooping if they don't take their muddy combat boots off before going inside.

momma mactavish seems completely unafazed by a helicopter in her backyard, doesn't ask any questions, treats them all like a family. she's tiny and a little scary, makes them eat their vegetables and treats them to a delicious dessert. she can't stop kissing johnny's head and roast him for his mohawk.

ghost notices how relaxed and happy johnny is and how domesticity suits him. he would like to see it more often. for the first time in his life he is reluctant to come back to work.

immediately pictured the avengers at hawkeye’s house

-

Usually when someone on their team says I know a place when they find themselves in a bout of trouble, they don’t usually mean their childhood home.

Usually, I know a place means a warehouse, a run-down safe house, or, God forbid, some cave. And yet instead, here they all exist idly in Soap’s mum’s house while she coddles them in between scolding her son like it’s just another normal day for her. Like they aren’t all hardened soldiers standing in her home, each with innumerable kill counts and severely blacked-out personnel files.

It’s… weird, being crowded into a dining room and served a home-cooked meal despite coming unannounced and uninvited. That isn’t to say they’re not all thankful, having surely used up the last of Mrs. MacTavish’s gauze and bandages to get to this point, but it’s just—not at all what any of the team had been expecting.

Soap’s about the only one who seems unperturbed. Price is still rubbing his wrist from when Mrs. MacTavish smacked him for his insistence on helping with supper.

You’re guests, she had said, sounding positively aghast. What kind of host do you take me for?

Ghost can certainly see where Soap had gotten his fiery nature, as he bickers back and forth with his mother while the rest of them eat quietly, tentatively, like they’re not sure they’re allowed to. They may not share much in looks, but it’s no doubt that Soap is his mother’s son.

By the time dessert rolls around—which is yet another surprise—Mrs. MacTavish has finally been directing conversation to the soldiers sat around her table, asking about work and life as if they aren’t all bruised and scarred and about half-dead from an awful fight. Yet they all find themselves discussing what’s asked of them like it’s no more than the weather.

Something about Mrs. MacTavish’s spirit instills a sense of familiarity, homeliness. Ghost understands why Soap thought to bring them all there.

Ultimately it’s Gaz who charms Soap’s mum away to the living room along with Price and Nik that lets Ghost, at the very least, get away with helping with dishes once everything is said and done. Unfortunately for Soap, he’s never offered the choice.

“Good thing you have goin’ on here, Johnny,” Ghost eventually remarks, once they’re finally in the swing of wash, dry, wash, dry. “Not afraid of anything getting traced back here? To her?”

Soap shakes his head as he scrubs at a particularly tough stain. “Nah. It’s no’ on any of my records. Hell, it’s barely on any records. We’re off grid, LT, no need to worry your pretty head.”

Ghost rolls his eyes. He wipes off the plate that’s handed to him before setting it on the drying rack, and tossing his towel over his shoulder. It’s not until Soap’s trying to hand him something else does he take notice of Ghost’s pause.

Slowly, Soap sets the dish back in the water, frowning up at Ghost. “What?”

“…Nothin’,” Ghost says after much too long. He huffs. “Just… nice seeing what home looks like on you.”

Ghost doesn’t allow himself to linger watching Soap’s expression change from confusion to a near softness, instead making a reach for the discarded dish in the murky, soapy water to kick their routine back in gear.

He doesn’t want to think about it too closely. Doesn’t want to think about the things he’s realizing about himself this evening, or the fleeting thought that maybe he’d like to stay here forever, instead of return to the field where death waits openly at every turn.

It’s still appreciated, though, this moment of tranquility. He’ll have to make sure to thank Mrs. MacTavish when he gets the chance.

[genji-centric]

hi!! can i ask for venture sfw alphabet? and if it isn’t too much, junker queen sfw and nsfw alphabet in the future? thank you! <3

Of course!!! I know Tumblr goes absolutely wild for any Venture content (for good reason) hope you enjoy the sfw Venture alphabet and the soon to be Junker Queen alphabets ill write in the future ^^

Venture SFW alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Venture is a chatty person, often complimenting you or jokingly flirting with you whenever. PDA isn't overwhelming, but don't be shocked to find them kissing your cheek in front of colleges. They just love you so much. Why stop if people are around? Expect lots of compliments and hugs from them. A kiss on the cheek is a must and the softest smile whenever you look at them. Sloan loves you, and affection is always a given when you're around.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

You and Sloan, when first starting as friends, quickly developed into one of those friendships you know will last forever. They have this quirky way of life that draws you in, the best friend everyone needs. They're the type of friend to always have your back. They will listen to any silly thought or interest as long as you hear them out about archeology. Being friends with Venture means never being alone. They might not have advice for everything, but they will definitely stand up for you when you need them to. Friendship with them is easy, compliment a shirt they wear and soon you two will be hanging out 3 hours later and you have a new friend.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Yes. They love to cuddle. So. Much. They love to wrap an arm around you as you two watch a movie together, kissing your forehead and playing with your hair. Sleeping in the same bed means you will be cuddled. They will happily be the big spoon all the time if you let them. They love how warm you can be, Sloan is also a heater themselves, so prepare to not need a blanket for the most part.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Sloan still has many things they want to see, settling down isn't in their cards yet but maybe once they've seen many things and participated in society changing digs they'll consider tuning travels down a bit. But in general, Venture would want you to join them on digs. They love having you by their side, and if you can join them in exploring the world, they would be in heaven. When it comes to cooking, they are.. questionable at best. They will definitely learn if you teach them, cook together, and you have one of the best dates.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Venture really couldn't, they love you so much it would take a lot for it to reach that point. If it does, Venture would be withdrawing more. They'd go to sites alone and a lot more frequently, leaving you alone. It hurts them to be around you, and as they withdraw more, they're trying to stop all those happy memories from coming back to them. If it stays like that long enough with no word from either of you, then Sloan would have to break it off through text when they're in a different country.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Venture likes the thought of marriage. It makes you both bonded together more, and they just love that. They will happily commit to you, join them on their adventures, and live your life going place to place, and that is the perfect thing for them. When you get engaged, Venture is always saying, "and this is my fiancé, y/n." With this goofy smile on their face, and so help me when you get married everyone knows you two are with how much Sloan boasts about it.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Sloan knows they are a strong person, carrying around that drill adds to a lot of strength in their arms and everything in general. They tend to handle you with care, much like a precious attifact they are gentle when they hold you or carry you in their arms (unless they get really excited to see you then expect a death grip hug.) When it comes to emotions Sloan is gentle in every way, they love and care for tou so of course they will reat you with care.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Sloan gives the best hugs it's insane, each one makes you feel loved and cherished and all warm inside. Sloan leaps at every opportunity they can to hug you, after a long day? Hug. Something exciting like a promotion? Hug. You just being you? A hug that leaves you warm and fuzzy. Their hugs are always all encompassing, often they will pick you up mid hug and swing you a little bit. They just love you so much they can't help it!

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

All the time, Venture loves saying it to someone they care about. They say it all the time to you, expect every text conversation to have 'I love you' in it somewhere. Sloan definitely said it first, and when they do, they mean it. Sloan fell first and harder. You are their first love, and they cherish that fact.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Sloan doesn't get jealous.. that's what they tell themselves when you're talking to someone whose eyes are lingering for far too long. They try to keep their jealousy to themselves, but sometimes they can't handle it. When someone is rubbing them the wrong way enough, they'll happily swing by, wrap an arm around you while giving the person the biggest grin they can muster. Hell, if that doesn't work, they will happily give you a peck on the cheek while calling you sickly sweet nicknames.

Venture can be a little sloppy when it comes to kissing. They just get so excited to kiss you that they'll miss where they're aiming. It's funny and charming, just like your Sloan. They really enjoy cheek kisses, it's cute and lighthearted. If you kiss their cheek, Venture is melting with a soft blush on their face.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Sloan is so cool to children. They can mention all the cool and exciting facts about history, and they have the silly vibe children just love. It's not uncommon to see Venture cheering up a crying kid in public. They are a natural at it, it seems. If you ask, you'll learn that Sloan was a babysitter when they were growing up, and they're still amazing at it. If you two ever have kids of your own, expect them to have the coolest rock eating parent.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Venture is a morning person, but not a proper one because they wake up messy. Hair everywhere and eye crust, they drool in their sleep and overall not a pleasant sight. It's absolutely hilarious, though. Once they're tidied up, they make themselves a cup of coffee and often flip through whatever article they're reading. Maybe tidy the artifacts in their personal collection and just enjoy some quiet time before the day starts. If you join them, you'll both talk about your plans for the day, possibly even the future. If you aren't a morning person, expect a kiss on the forehead before they are on with the day.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Venture, once everything is wrapped up for the day, is very relaxed. They will happily join you on the couch as they read, and you do whatever hobby you enjoy. Night walks are a favorite for them. The streets look pretty at night, and they enjoy it. If you want to watch a movie, they're down, maybe watch a documentary of their choosing, and you have a very happy Sloan on your hands. You definitely got to, documentaries are their favorite thing ever.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Sloan is an open book. They're absolutely horrible with secrets. Let them talk, and soon you know everything about them. They love talking, and if you let them ramble soon, you know their embarrassing story when they were 5 after meeting them an hour ago.

I don't think Venture could have. Single mean thought about you, hell anything you do has them watching with heart eyes. But when someone disrespects you or archeology, that's when Sloan gets mad, and even then, that anger is more yelling at them and calling them names.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Sloan remembers absolutely everything. Including the small details, they remember what you like to order at restaurants to the specific brand of salt you like to get. Sloan already built up the abilities to remember historical facts. Someone as important as you is the most important thing to learn everything about in their eyes.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The time Sloan brought you out to your first dig with them. There you saw a new side of them you didn't see before. Venture showed you all the sights, what each tool does, and the crew they were currently working with. You learned the history of the sight, myths, and legends around the area in so on. You saw Sloan when they were passionate, excited to learn, and very attentive to you. During the breaks, Sloan would take you into the nearby town and enjoy street foods with you. The first site you saw was with them, and the first of many you would attend with them.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Sloan always has your back. They're strong and an Overwatch agent. They're always confident you're safe with them. Venture is protective of you. They treasure you, so of course they'll always watch out for you. Always warning you if they see a dangerous thing nearby or a possibly dangerous person. They themselves don't really need protection. But let them know of possible issues such as a spill or a broken cup in the ground they're appreciative of it.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Sloan loves to plan things out. Always keeping track of dates and what could be a good activity for you both to do. They always put as much effort as they can, Venture happily makes handmade gifts for you and always plans things. Just don't get mad at them if they get days off. They can be a little forgetful about time, but they always make it up to you on the rare occasions mistakes happen.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Sloan leaves dirt everywhere. Sand gets stuck in their hair and mud caked to their clothes. They also forget to take off their shoes sometimes. Dirt gets tracked into the house constantly. They also forget to tidy up after themselves sometimes, like a forgotten plate from supper or a spill they forgot to wipe fully. Also totally the type to use their sleeve instead of on a cloth to wipe something up. Venture also is out a lot of the time. Working for Overwatch is busy, and adding working on different digs takes up a lot of time.

Venture isn't really too concerned in their appearance. They can enjoy a bit of fun with experimenting with eyeliner, but that's really as far as they go. They don't do it to look pretty but rather for the fact it looks cool, much like their tattoos. Sloan doesn't really care for their appearance in general, often having dirt caked to their jacket and buts of gravel falling out of their tangled hair. Looks don't mean the world to them. They enjoy looking at you, but they could care less about what they look like.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely. Before you Sloan thought they were content, that gap they felt was just wanting more knowledge, right? Not really. Once they met you and everything you made them feel they realized you were the thing they missed. With you, Sloan now wants a future with you by their side. They can never go back.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

100% brings you the random things that makes you question them. Yeah, Sloan can be amazing at gift giving, remembering what you like and what you want to get. But they also can bring back the goofiest figure that looks horrible, maybe a cursed doll for you who knows. Sloan likes your smile, and if that means bringing back a funny painting someone did so be it.

Someone who won't listen to them. They've often been shut down about their more out there personality and not as common interests they just need people around them who will listen. They also don't really like mean people. If everything you say is negative, it will start to wear them down with thoughts of 'do they think of me like that?'

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Venture surprisingly is a good sleeper, they often go to bed around 10 and sleep soundly through the night. They seem like a dream, that is until you're beside them. Sloan SNORES. You think you've heard snoring, but they take it to another level. If you get them to roll over, they somehow are still snoring it's crazy. They're apologetic, though, and for your sake, they try different snoring aids. It might work, might not.

[vergess]

hello do you happen to have an explanation/definition of what pinkwashing is? don't trust googlie with a term so new and it does not line up with my understanding of the terms it's made up of (-washing = covering or changing the original or true depiction, pink- = I only know this term in politics from pink-collar and I am 99% certain it does not mean the same thing here)

Oh, yeah, you're absolutely correct about it not being a pink-collar thing.

For my followers, pink-collar refers to paid work outside the home that is traditionally held by women. The "pink" refers to women, femininity, etc. Just girly things, if you will.

In pink-washing, however, the pink refers to pink triangles, a prominent symbol of queer survival after pink triangles were used to mark sexual deviants (that is, gay men and trans women).

Pink-washing is the use of "we have queer rights, unlike those barbaric savages" to justify state violence.

Right now, the term is mostly coming up in discussions of Israel. In that specific context, it refers to the fact that Israel is far and away the most progressive and well-protected place for queer people of all sorts in the middle east. Which the Israeli government often likes to point to as proof that their brutal ethnic cleansing is a "necessary force" to protect queer lives from Islamist extremism.

It's a sort of, "look, I know what I'm doing is bad, but what they're doing is way worse: look at how badly they treat their queers. Obviously I must be violent to help civilize the animals, for the sake of their queers," often while actively killing queer civilians for being for the wrong race.

Unfortunately, pink-washing is itself strong evidence that a state devalues her queer citizens, thinking of them not as vulnerable people to be protected (as the state will insist is the case), but rather as tokens to be trotted out as proof of the state's "goodness." And should any queer person defy the role of "good little token," they are inevitably and severely punished. As they say (they being in this case an Israeli sociologist whose name escapes me entirely), "A trans woman in uniform will be given medical care, but a trans woman who refuses military service will go to a men's prison."

Pink-washing is also extremely, EXTREMELY common in the U.S. though this doesn't get as much air time lately as Israeli pink-washing. But, the U.S. very regularly uses pink-washing around gay (not so much trans) rights to justify both imperial and domestic violence. Even at the per-state level, it is extremely common for people in "progressive" states to say absurd shit like, "well we treat our gays with respect, unlike Alabama!" to thought-stop themselves from noticing how miserable their lives are as a direct consequence of state action (or even state inaction to stop violence, as is often the case with capitalism and policing problems).

There's also a significant problem in Canada with their pretty solid record on queer rights being used as a counter-argument to their mistreatment of indigenous peoples. This too is pink-washing.

Pink-washing also devalues to lives and specifically the queerness of the people being targeted for violence. You know. By killing them and stuff. But also by denying that they deserve the very right to life and safety that is supposedly the mission statement.

If the entire point of pink-washed violence really was queer liberation, they would suck at that because they keep killing all the queer people they don't fucking like.

[murdrdocs]

Sex with Farmer! Peter while watching the sun sets on your wrap around porch. THEN having domestic aftercare on the porch swing looking at the stars while he casually points out places he’s seen/saved <3333 ps. he is filling every crevice of my brain!

7 o'clock | p. quill

description. domesticity with quill comes easy, but that doesn't mean you take it for granted

includes. SMUT 17+, doemstic!quill, loverboy!quill, unprotected p in v sex

a/n: thought i wrote this but i just did extensive notes so here we are a month later. also written super quick so ... + wasn't meant to be nearly this long

word count: 1.3k+

you've been sitting in the same spot for so long that the indent your butt had created had gone from being comfortably molding, to flat without enough padding.

you shuffle to the other side, taking your mug and book with you, just as peter comes out of the backdoor. he huffs as he sits in the spot you'd previously sat in, and you watch over your book as he twists and repositions, until his green eyes turn to look at you knowingly, a half smile on his lips.

"you left this seat all dented on purpose." a statement, but your head still shakes.

"i swear i didn't!" but it's funny to see his visible discomfort. he shakes his head, faux disappointment all over his face, and he scoots closer to you, hands reaching out to your waist to force you up out of your seat.

you don't protest, moving with him instead of against him, until your bum is seated on the couch, and everything from your mid-thigh down is tossed over peters legs.

the two of you sit like that for a while, screened in back porch preventing any bugs from bothering you in this bliss. you share the contents of your mug, hot tea to soothe the small throat ache you'd had recently, and peter didn't like hot tea at all, but he was far too lazy to go back inside and get iced tea.

you read your book, quill sits and enjoys the comfort of nature, and it's peak domesticity. it's simple, innocent almost. until you finish a lengthy chapter and your eyes need some rest, so you put the book down, finish the contents of your mug, and cuddle into peter's chest instead.

with where the couch is seated, you have a perfect view of the steadily setting sun behind the trees. you watch it for a while, appreciating the beauty of the life you've been given, and then quill takes a deep breath and he kisses your cheek, then your jaw, then down your neck.

"love this dress on you," he compliments, fingers rubbing the fabric between them, not-so-subtly inching it up as he does so. you hum in appreciation, going to remind him that he brought it for you, but he's speaking before you can. "love it even more off of you, too."

a little laugh from you because of course that's where he was going with this. you don't even have it in you to protest as one hand slides under your dress, running along your thighs, and the other slides up the corseted top to cup right under your tits, large palm eventually engulfing your breast securely.

it's not long until the straps of your dress are down to give peter access to nip at the tops of them, and your dress is bunched up around your waist, panties pushed to the side so peter's fingers can stuff themselves into your cunt. you're thankful for the prep, you truly are, but you're so desperate in this moment that peter's only a few thrusts in before you're quickly fumbling for his belt buckle, nimble fingers undoing it and popping the button of his pants shortly after, zipper easily following.

you go to straddle him, face-to-face, but quill stops you with a strong grip on your hips.

"uh-uh, other way." you look at him, brows furrowed, a little puzzled, until he clarifies. "can't have you missin' a sunset this pretty." a kiss to the corner of your lips and your eyes roll but you appreciate the sentiment either way, doing what he says and turning yourself around.

you hold onto peter's wrists as he does most of the work, hips pushing up to meet yours with steady thrusts. you'd fucked him this morning, too, but you're still close sooner than expected. something you would've been embarrassed about if it didn't show just how attracted to him that you were.

a breeze blows across your skin, the surrounding air holds a heat that's welcomed more than it's cursed, and you smell nature dirt and musk that blends well with his cologne. you hear the wet sounds of your cunt sucking him in again and again, your moans, and his encouragements.

"you don't gotta do all the work, baby. let me take care of you. jus' relax, look at the sunset, just like that. that's a girl. touch yourself for me." and you do as told, pulling a hand away from his wrist to slide it under your dress and rub it along your clit. your other hand grips his skin aggressively, nails digging into the flesh, but peter doesn't complain.

instead, his hips speed up a little more and he pulls your back to his chest, lips pressed to the shell of your ear as he talks you over the cliff, and then he parts his lips and lets you hear his own pleasure as he cums, lips puckering to place kisses under your ear while the both of you come down.

you catch your breath, rise off of peter's cock, and look over your shoulder.

"when's the last time you checked on dinner?"

he looks at the watch on his wrist and you visibly see the way his eyes widen, a smile already forming on your lips.

"uh ... i'll be right back, honey."

you have just enough time to murmur a little "uh huh" before he's gently setting you to the side, pressing a kiss to your temple, and all but running into the house.

you head after him, book and mug in your hand, cum still dripping down your inner thigh, and you make a pitstop to set your items down before heading to the bathroom, cleaning yourself up, and then leaving for the front porch this time.

the sun's set now, stars starting to become visible by the time peter comes out. he's juggling one loaded plate and two glasses when he does, a smile balanced perfectly on his face when he makes it to you.

you inspect the contents, surprised that nothing's burnt, even going to comment on it.

"you can't burn a pot roast, honey."

you shrug, taking the plate in your hands. "pretty sure you've done it before, pete." a halfhearted grumble from him and he's sitting down beside you on the porch swing, passing you the glass of sweet tea when you request it. the two of you sit in comfortable silence, the wind carrying you to and fro as you eat off of the same plate, and share the same space.

when it's finished, and peter has it set down on the coffee table, he has you pulled back into his side, your head resting against the soft cotton of his plaid button up, and then he starts to talk.

"been there, and there too. that one was ... a doozy. if i'm thinking about the right planet." you watch him in awe, squinting to try and decipher which of the tiny specks he was referring to.

"maybe we should get a telescope. one of those real fancy ones," you suggest, ecstatic whenever he agrees.

"and that planet right there; most fun i've ever had. the mission was a mess, rocket kept fucking it up and drax wasn't any help either but afterwards they threw us a massive parade, i'm talking biggest parade ever, honey. got the whole planet involved it was a wild time."

you smile softly, enjoying the way his face lights up as he recounts his time in space. he eventually looks down at you, same look of love written all over his features as he kisses the tip of your nose, your eyes fluttering shut with the simple moment.

"think you'd ever like to come up there one day?" he asks you.

you shrug, taking a moment to think about it before verbally delivering your answer. "maybe ... as long as you'll protect me, star lord." a cheeky smile on your face as you purr the nickname.

peter's smile is boisterous and he hugs you into his side just a little bit tighter.

"always."

[edandstede]

some thoughts about ofmd 2x07 and the “break up” (it’s not, it’s ed being an impulsive sensitive fool (affectionate) but i digress) so spoilers abound, just wanted to share my pov

ok so!!! ed panicked. he’s still trying to figure his shit out, trying to heal from literally dying, from losing stede and getting him back and every dark thing that happened with the crew. so much has happened in such a short space of time that his head must be spinning. we see him flashing back to it, he’s still processing, and it’s all going so fast.

and then the revenge gets boarded and he has to watch stede be tortured, watch stede take a life purposefully for the first time, be reminded of killing his own dad, and then they fall into bed together after ed went to him to see if he was okay. they have sex, and ed makes stede this lovely breakfast, and he throws his leathers overboard whilst wearing his nice blue robe. he immediately wants to shed blackbeard for good and live in this new bliss where he can be soft and safe, but that’s interrupted when stede says that near-death situations are hard to avoid in their line of work. he’s brought crashing back to reality and thinks, shit, this isn’t gonna work is it? what have i done?

his head and heart are being pulled in so many directions and he really is facing an identity crisis, a personal dilemma, trying to answer the question “what do i want?” while all this is going on, while he’s faced with the fact that they’ll never truly be safe doing this and they could lose each other again. he might never get proper peace and bliss with stede, and he wants it so much. he wants a life where he doesn’t see stede in danger ever again.

and ed is insecure too, is the thing. he’s so highly sensitive. about the twine on the tray, the fish he caught. stede isn’t the only one who runs and buries his head in the sand when shit gets tough, ed does it too. whim-prone. this time, running off to be a fisherman is ed’s blanket fort. he’s like, okay, i’m feeling bad so that must mean last night was too fast, a mistake, and i don’t wanna do the pirate thing anymore but stede is loving his new fame, so that must mean i should leave. it’s almost like he’s rejecting himself before stede can, before stede realises this isn’t gonna work, that they want different things; they’re not compatible after all and it’ll hurt less if he walks away first this time. he’s trying to save himself the heartbreak.

i don’t think ed truly thinks them sleeping together was a mistake, i think so many feelings are just being mixed inside and that’s the conclusion he’s come to. he got to have this little taste of what their life could be like if they were safe and out of harm’s way together, settled down, but he doesn’t think it’s possible. he’s pissed off with himself for giving in to that temptation when he already knew he wanted to retire.

stede tells him their relationship can be whatever they want it to be but ed isn’t listening because he’s already made that impulsive choice and he’s stubborn, he’s afraid, he’s spiralling, he’s angry it has to be this way. he doesn’t even stop to think that, actually, it doesn’t have to be this way. they could find their middle ground, it doesn’t have to be one life or the other, but they cannot do anything without talking it through.

ed feels doubt, uncertainty, and takes a job on a boat rather than actually telling stede what’s going on in his head. what he wants. he wants to retire, has this fantasy in his head of owning an inn with stede, having quiet domesticity away from a fear of death. clearly he doesn’t think they can compromise, it probably hasn’t occurred to him or it has and he just thinks it isn’t possible to have the best of both worlds. but it is, and they’ll get there, and i think s3 will see them really find the life they’re going to keep.

honestly they should just look at their crew, really look, at how they look after themselves and each other. they could learn a thing or two.

[make-me-imagine]

Headcanons: Flirting & Intimacy (Eddie Brock)

Headcanons: Eddie Brock and how he flirts, and how he shows intimacy (physical and not)

Pairing: Eddie Brock x Gn!Reader

Requested By: @witchygagirl

Warnings: Nothing I can think of

-

Flirting:

Though Eddie is not shy with his flirting, he did tend to fumble through it at first, almost as though he is nervous.

He was mostly nervous with his flirting when the two of you had just met.

He would flirt, but it would be awkward and rushed, but you found it appealing and cute way.

Once the two of you became friends, he was more open and forward with his flirting.

Eddie does not shy away from compliments, he is always willing and ready to tell you you look great, compliment the way you did something, how you said something, etc.

The compliments always have an underlying flirtiness, that you might not always pick up on.

"You look great" "I'm wearing sweatpants." "Yeah, and?"

He LOVES if you get all bashful and shy if he makes a more forward comment, and it only encourages him to do it more.

Sometimes you aren't sure if he is jut teasing you to rile you up, or if he genuinely thinks the thing he says.

He means all of them.

It's not until he genuinely asks you out on a date that you truly know he meant everything.

Now, if you flirted with him, he would shut down for half a second.

A flirty remark or a teasing comment and his mind goes blank.

He gets a bit flustered, rarely able to think of something to respond with quickly.

The flirting does not stop when you two are in a relationship. In fact it just gets worse.

And by worse, I mean more frequent, and the comments themselves are full of more innuendos and private jokes than before.

After you're in a relationship he gets better at comebacks when you flirt, since he expects it more often.

But every once and a while, especially in public, you get him good, and he can't help but stare after you with mild alarm and adoration.

Intimacy:

Eddie loves physical intimacy. Cuddling, kissing, hugging, hand holding, *clears throat* Et cetera.

He loves just being close to you, if you are near him, he feels comforted and happy.

He often presses kisses to your body. Your bare shoulders, wrist, hands cheek, temple, forehead, you name it.

One night he took it upon himself to kiss every spot, freckle, mole, and scar he could see on your body.

But he also shows intimacy with more subtle actions as well.

Placing his jacket over your shoulders when you're on a walk.

Making sure his hands brush or briefly hold yours as he hands you something.

Taking your hand when he helps you step up or down a tall step or ledge.

Placing his hand on your lower back when you are walking together.

And then there are the non-physical types of intimacy.

Intellectual intimacy.

He loves having long-winded discussions about various topics, especially when you are helping him on a story.

When you are both talking passionately abut the same things, it helps him feel closer to you in ways physical intimacy cannot.

Recreational Intimacy.

Lounging together on the couch, your legs in his lap, his hand absentmindedly drawing shapes on your legs as you both read and/or work.

Going on walks hand in hand, barely talking, just being.

Your weekend trips to the arcade, or local theater, routine centered around each other

Cooking breakfast or dinner together side by side.

One of you washing dishes while the other dries.

Sharing in domestic bliss with you often makes him feel more intimately close with you than anything else. You are his life partner after all.

xx

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[crybabysunflower]

I am so fucking insane about kim yoosung. He has been my favourite mysme guy and he will always be. People who dislike him will always make me upset since i find most of them lacking compassion towards people dealing with grief and loss

But lately I find myself get very angry towards him. Especially after I played his route this April to get his Normal Ending and I happen to notice some things about him

Kim yoosung is a chronic people pleaser and that hurts my soul. It hurts me whenever I express my dislike towards some of the things he might enjoy and he decides to never touch that thing ever again...all because I said I dont like it. It hurts my soul because I dont want people to change themselves for me...and lose their individuality....I am someone who values individuality and seeing him lose himself for me is painful.

His tendency to self sacrifice and risk his life now makes me angry. My feelings towards the concept of sacrifice is very ambivalent. In my culture where women are always expected to put others before themselves I grew up feeling a sense of shame because I had been unable to do so. Yet this concept feels very toxic to me as I have watched mothers growing agitated and abusive towards their children when they dont feel like they have been "paid back" enough by them. From an early age I have learnt that self sacrifice often comes with strings attached and eventually becomes a tool of perpetuating abusive cycles.

I do believe Yoosung is not the type who would engage in hurting others for his self sacrificial tendencies- not in the way I talked about because he chose to be that way. Men are not really expected to do things Yoosung usually engages in (being a helping hand to your partner in domestic activities, cooking and putting himself and his own well being before your partners most of the time).

But it still does not stop feeling painful to me. He risks his life and loses an eye. In one bad ending he gets tortured and God knows what else happens and takes the abuse with pride. I cannot see my partner in so much pain. I dont want to be widowed within the first six months of marriage. It hurts me that he feels the need to constantly prove to deserve my love. It hurts that he will never see how much he means to me as much I mean to him. "I just wanted to protect you-" SHUT UP SHUT UP.

Going back to the point where I mentioned how he takes the abuse in his 3rd Bad Ending with a smile. Him being so vulnerable to get into abusive relationship and even being prone to tolerate abuse and romanticise the abuse he tolerates makes me so upset. The Bad Ending 1 is a clear proof of that and how much he easily forgives people who hurt him all the time albeit being well intentioned is also another proof. Zen himself says "yoosung is too nice to make jumin suffer the consequences of his actions".

This very much drives me insane. His overall tendency to neglect himself for a crumb of affection and his fear of being abandoned makes me so angry at him. It ignites an urge in me to protect this boy from every danger. Perhaps I am projecting a bit since I feel like being able to protect Yoosung or someone like him will heal my inner child (who has been failed by most adults around them).

Its past 2 am at night and I am crying over my beloved fictional boy.

[ananke-xiii]

A dream, mine:

spn s13 but with cas alive and jack's a baby, dean and mary are in the AU and lucifer is still on earth. Somehow sam and cas manage to save jack and themselves from lucifer but now they're on the run and they are both questioning their life choices. Sam's like super pissed because he's been baby trapped by cas of all people and he's now stuck with an unhinged angel and a baby that's half his nemesis, a nemesis with which he shares the most unfortunate, most fucked up, saddest "profound bond" of all time. Cas is pissed too because he was handed the shortest (technically the tallest but shhh) straw by fate and ended up with the wrong brother, what's worst, he's now forced, once again, to re-evaluate all his millennia-long prejudices against all kinds of abominations since he's stuck sharing a car with two of the finest examples ever produced. Jack is just a baby which means he cries a lot, wants to eat, does his things etc and the crying alone is enough to send cas and sam crazy. Cas resents sam because he thinks he's using the angel with the excuse that he doesn't sleep so he can look after the baby. Sam resents cas because he went doing his hot girl shit instead of following his plan. Things reach a boiling point when they're in a gas 'n sip, sam deep in "newborn lore" on his smartphone, trying to understand what a newborn can eat out of gas station food, and cas's exasperated because "we can just wear a white coat, go to a hospital and steal breast milk". Sam snaps and he's like "what IS wrong with you, dude?" and cas is so done so he's like "tell me, sam, what IS wrong with me, sam?". Sam's not dean and he's not above recounting all the times cas has fucked them over, fucked him over, he literally uses his fingers to start counting everything that's just wrong with cas and he sure as hell starts by telling him how thick an actual angel of the lord, "the fucking angel of fucking thursday has no feel" (sam's words not mine), can be to save a person from hell without realizing that the soul's not there when he basically did the same thing for dean so "uh cas, explain this to the hand, CAS-TI-EL"! And cas finds out that, after all, he's not that bad at this feeling and being almost human shit cause he suddenly feels very in touch with his feminine side and he's ready to remind sam how thick can he be to think that god was speaking to him telling him to open the cage, like "what sam, just because amara was speaking to dean, you thought god would have spoken to you, to you, SA-MU-EL?" They're one step close to a catfight, neither of them is shy enough to prevent it, they both can and will grab each other by their hair and grip tight to raise themselves from this domestic hell. But they're in a gas 'n sip, whisper-yelling about angels, hell, souls and god and people begin eyeing them, the clerk reaches for the phone. They stop and realize that, in their current state, they're both two male presenting beings somewhere in their forties or in their vicinity with a screaming baby in cas' arms and one call away from child protection services . Things are not good.

Meanwhile, dean is with mary, fake bobby and fake charlie having the time of his life in the fake purgatory copy that is the AU releasing all his decade-long repressed sexual energy toward a certain angel by killing angels with bullets made out of angel blades and knifing the occasional monster of the week that goes bump in the night. Things are good.

[dualityvn]

We’ve seen the NSFW alphabet, but what about the SFW alphabet for the boys? 👀

SFW ALPHABET

Keith:

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He generally loves affection, but he’ll test the waters first before letting that show. He doesn’t want to express it in a way that you dislike. But generally, he will give a lot of compliments, offer gifts and, if given the opportunity, use physical touch as well.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Keith as a friend is a bit more laid back and doesn’t try as hard to be the epitome of perfection. But he is still often scared of doing or saying anything that might upset his friend and make them hate him. Becoming his friend usually means you need to win his trust first, otherwise he will try to keep you at a distance.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He loves cuddles! He’s more used to being the one holding the other person in his arms, but he has no issue with it being the other way around. He is always gentle and does his best to make sure the other is comfortable.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He does want to settle down. Being in a happy marriage is his dream come true. He’s quite organized, clean and a decent cook, so he’d make a pretty good husband.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He wouldn’t :’)

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Oh, he’d be over the moon. The very fact that you’ve decided to marry him would have him ecstatic for good amount of time. Though if you were to put off the wedding too much, he might start to feel insecure so it’s best not to make him wait more than a year.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Incredibly gentle. Unless you ask him to do otherwise, he’ll treat you like his most precious treasure. He’d be consumed by guilt if he ever did anything to hurt you.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Yeah, he likes them. How often he offers them depends on the person he’s meant to be hugging. Generally, he gives comfy and warm hugs.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He will wait for you to say it first.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

If possible, he gets rid of whatever created that jealousy :)

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are generally soft, not super long but not quick pecks either. If you’re into it, he likes turning them into passionate ones. And his favorite place to kiss and be kissed are the lips.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He’s kind and caring. Really bad at scolding, can’t bring himself to raise his voice or be mean to a child to save his life.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

If it’s not a work morning, he’s going to sleep in and there isn’t much you can do to stop him. Pretty of hard to get him out of bed before 11 am. He’s happy to give you morning cuddles though. If you bring him breakfast in bed, he will worship the ground you walk on.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

He’s gonna try to get you to go to bed with him at a reasonable hour. Mostly because he rarely does that. Will want to have you close while you sleep, even if you aren’t fully in his arms (though that is preferred).

O = Open  (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say  everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

It depends. Some things he can’t help but reveal early on depending on circumstances (like if you meet him at his flower shop, you WILL hear him ramble about plants at some point). He will wait a pretty long time to reveal any trait he dislikes about himself though. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

You usually have to hit a sensitive spot to make him angry. Or repeat a type of behavior that gradually brings him to a boiling point. Otherwise he’s a pretty calm person.

Q = Quizzes  (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little  detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He will remember as much as he possibly can. Some important things he will even write down, like your birthday, your favorite flower, things you like that he could give you as presents. But if he’s been around you for a while, he won’t need the notes.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

He’s a hopeless romantic so of course it would be the moment you have your first kiss.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

VERY protective. He’d like to be able to protect you in all ways himself, but whenever he gets in that headspace, Tenebris usually jumps out. He’s rather you only ever protect him in situations in which he’s certain nothing bad will happen to you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

As much effort as a human could possibly put into these types of things.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

As soon as something bad happens, he starts blaming himself and throwing around harsh words in his mind.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s always been told he’s pretty, but he still puts in effort to maintain or enhance that. He styles his hair, puts on concealer, takes care of his skin and picks out clothes that would look good on him.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He secretly hopes soulmates are a thing that exists.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Very poor hygiene. It’s not gonna keep him away from you completely, but he will try to get you to fix it.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

If he’s sleeping with someone else, he’ll either press himself against them or reach out with his arm or leg to touch them.

+ + +

Tenebris:

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He’s not the type to show affection at the very start of the relationship, before you have. But as soon as you do, you’re gonna have a hard time getting him off of you.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He can seem like a bit of a jerk sometimes, since he likes teasing or mildly bullying people. But he will greatly treasure any friend and be ready to obliterate anything that harms them. Starting a friendship with him can be as simple as not treating him like dirt and maybe complimenting his shirt or something.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Cuddles all the way!! He cuddles by clinging to you like you’re the thing keeping him alive. Will smother you if you don’t say anything. Also likes laying on top of you if you’re both laying down.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Sure, he wouldn’t mind settling down. The very idea seems kind of impossible to him, he can’t imagine someone suggesting that to him. An absolute disaster at both cooking and keeping things tidy, but he WILL clean the house for you just to prevent bugs from infesting it. Just don’t ask him to operate something like a washing machine without giving him detailed instructions first.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Depends on why you’re breaking up. The method could vary from calling you an asshole that he doesn’t wanna see again to beating the shit out of you. But generally, you need to be an abusive bastard to either him or Keith for him to even consider breaking up.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He feels great about it, because he can’t believe you’re gonna commit to him of all people. And he doesn’t care how quickly you do it, he’s got a pretty long life ahead of him.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He tries to be gentle as much as he can, but his strength isn’t always easy to manage and he can be a bit of a jerk once he gets angry. But he’d never dare do more than accidentally hug you too hard and if he ever hurt your feelings, he would apologize a million times, verbally, written or by crawling at your feet.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He loves hugs, give him all the hugs. If you like hugs too, he will hug you every time he sees you and more. His hugs are kind of tight and kinda long, especially if he hasn’t seen you in a while.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He may not say it before you do. Though if he realizes he loves you before you say it, he might just blurt it out randomly.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Very jealous. Will cuss people out or start fights if you don’t keep him in check. While you’re around, that is. If you aren’t around, whoever made him jealous is as good as dead.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are unsure and clumsy, since he has no experience. He likes kissing you on the cheek because it’s simple and doesn’t have to be long. And he loves it when you kiss his forehead.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Generally can’t stand them. Thinks they’re dumb and annoying and they won’t shut up about him being blue. But he will immediately make friends with any kid that’s nice to him.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Pesters you to make him pancakes. If you don’t know how, forces Keith to make both of you pancakes. He doesn’t take too long to get out of bed because pancakes.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Good luck getting him to bed. Though once you do, if you hold him in your arms and pet his head, he’ll let you fall asleep to the sound of his purring.

O = Open  (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say  everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Whenever you ask or whenever it comes up in conversation. He doesn’t know why he should be holding anything back. Unless it’ll get him and Keith in trouble, then he might avoid it.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Uh. Pretty easily, but it depends. If it’s you and you’re the timid and well meaning type, he’ll have a lot more patience. Otherwise, as soon as he feels even mildly insulted, he’ll be fuming.

Q = Quizzes  (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little  detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Absolutely everything and he will do it effortlessly too. He has a great memory.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

When you were nice to him for the first time.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Just as protective as Keith, but he’s also the one always doing the protecting. Whether you need him to knock someone onto the next planet over or call them a son of a bitch, he’s there for you. He’s not used to being protected himself, but he’ll melt if you ever take his side in an argument or when he’s being insulted. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He does his best to make you happy, even though he doesn’t have experience with any of these things.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Trying to solve too many problems with violence. And always leaving his clothes on the floor.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s not the most vain person. He mostly cares about his clothes, which he likes in a certain style. And he doesn’t like the way Keith combs their hair, so he usually messes it up.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Probably not, but you’re still highly appreciated if you’re by his side.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He loves it if you hold his hands and interlock your fingers with his.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Shallow people.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Mumbles in his sleep and tends to drool on his pillow.

[acourtofthought]

How do you think Lucien is going to react to having Helion as a father? I know everyone is excited about it and thinks Lucien will be happy to find a different father but I just don't feel like he's going to be happy with Helion. At. All. Not after what his mother has gone through; I know it's not exactly Helion's fault, but I think Lucien will attribute Helion as a major cause for much of his mother's abuse. Also, she waited for him and he didn't come for her. Also, I don't think Helion is going to be a "cool dad;" I'm not sure how he's going to feel about having a son who grew up in the Autumn Court. How do you think Helion will react? Anyway, this is why I'm more invested in Lucien and Eris repairing their relationship.

I definitely don't think Lucien is going to run straight into Helions arms, thankful for a decent father figure at last. I imagine he'd have too many unanswered questions at first (not to mention they haven't been written as having any sort of relationship in the series so far, even one outside father / son).

Did Helion know Lucien was his son? Did he suspect?

If so then Lucien would definitely want to know why he never attempted to have a relationship with him.

Though I can't imagine SJM would write a scenario where Helion knew and didn't have a valid reason for keeping his distance, she has spoken of being weirdly obsessed with Helions character so I don't imagine she'd want to turn him into the bad guy especially when Lucien already has one of those in his life in Beron.

I think eventually, we're going to see Helion and Lucien getting along well. They're too similar in their sassy personalities with a flare to their style not to find common ground and recognize a likeness to one another. But Lucien is grown now, he doesn't need a dad to play catch with, so any relationship that does form isn't going to look the same as what it would have had he been much younger. Maybe there will be a scene where Helion offers him advice on his situation with Elain, about not giving up on hope when it comes to the right female and that will be a representation of their bonding, something Helion personally has experience with and could share his wisdom on. However I think we'll see them connect on a more equal level rather than Helion suddenly morphing into Super Dad trying to constantly guide Lucien without Lucien asking for his advice.

I hope Lucien doesn't blame Helion for what happened with his mother because Helion was no more capable of stopping Beron than Lucien and Eris were.

Lucien is centuries old at this point. Not as old as Rhys and the others in the IC but maybe 300? 400?

The LoA was twenty when she married Beron and had many sons before Lucien. Helion only came into power about 40 years ago while UTM as Amarantha killed the HL of Day and most of their family when they tried to rebel.

That means when the LoA married Beron, Helion had no idea he'd become a High Lord and that means he may not have had the power to stop Beron who already had internal ties to power. It also sounds like neither Helion or the LoA had any chance in what appears to have been her arranged marriage.

I also think it's important to remember that the LOA chose to stay.

The LoA did not reach out for help, she did not request someone free her from Berons shackles.

So who was Helion to interfere in her marriage? What he thinks she should do and what he'd like to do doesn't trump what she herself did.

I actually have had personal experience (not my own but family members) who are victims of domestic abuse and I can attest to the fact that you can't force someone to leave unless they want to. You can offer them all the help and a place of safety but there is truly no interfering and insisting they leave if they themselves aren't ready to walk away.

I do agree that I'd also love to see Eris and Lucien repair their relationship if there is some valid reason behind the years Eris spent treating Lucien cruelly. I think that's the direction SJM is heading, she's laid a few hints that maybe he could have been protecting Lucien in a way that wouldn't raise Berons suspicions but we still haven't gotten a true explanation for it all.

Really, I want all the relationships for Lucien.

I want to see him reconnecting with his brother so he has one decent sibling.

I want to see Helion and Lucien working towards a relationship, in whatever capacity that is.

I want he and Tamlin to find peace with one another even if they don't end up being extremely close.

I would like Az to finally acknowledge Lucien is a worthy male and for the two to move forward as friendly acquaintances.

I want him to be blissfully happy with his mate.

He's spent so many years alone and there would be nothing more satisfying than seeing him surrounded by love in every court.

[psylunari]

For the ship ask game: kunikidazai, suegiku, atsulucy

NOTE: the post will be long as heck. I'll keep reblogging for every ship addition till I finish.

I'll preface this by saying, yes! I do ship all of these!

Kunikidazai

(nervous chuckle) buckle up, buttercup.

1. What made you ship it?

TL;DR: ironically enough, writing it made them take over my brain.

Mid-tier answer: It wasn't one specific thing. I watched the show and had 1 (one) plot bunny one year later (my most-read BSD fic). I was writing a MHA OC/canon thing at the time. While passionate about that OC/canon, it was a difficult fic, and I put it on hold.

Writing that knkdz fic proved itself easier. It was flowing. It forced me into a deep dive in their dynamic. The result is what you see.

Long answer: it took me 10+ years in fandom (legit) to like m/m ships. So it's kinda hard?? To watch things with m/m tinted glasses. AKA deliberately looking for m/m chemistry, or interpreting it always that way, or making it up in my head if I can't find it. If I come across a ship, I came across a ship. And I'm the same for any ship.

During my first watch of bongo straycats, I didn't ship much of anything. I looked at those two and went, “yeah, they're haha funny, if I were to ship something it'd probably be this”. I was done with the three seasons out, then, I “forgot” BSD.

I mean. Not that I forgot. I was in-between fandom phases with other stuff. So I didn't pay “the popular ships” much mind. They were there. A thing that existed. I didn't care for them.

Then it went like:

“Hey, I could use some change in my life, lemme style my hair like this anime twink.” “Fic idea for haha funny ship. What if instead of disappearing to commit the die, the anime twink was sick and didn't tell anyone?” ?????? “It is a CRIME that THIS dynamic is on the unpopular side, I'm declaring myself in knkdz hell till further notice and will do something about it.”

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

TL;DR: they are multifaceted, their relationship is a deep rabbit hole of symbolism, and a blast to write about.

Superficial answer: complementary personalities + look good together + attractive + hilarious banter + suspicious moments + annoyances to lovers.

Heartfelt answer: I look at them from a complete perspective. Never one without the other, never caricatures of themselves. There's the caring domestic side, the dumb disagreements, the synergy and mutual respect, the defiance of internal values, the angst past and present… They are complex. The more you dig, the more you find. It's entertaining. It made the brain go brrrrr.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

It isn't often I come across interpretations I disagree with. Dedicated knkdz shippers and I are mostly in the same wavelength. My unpopular opinion, however, boils down to “I interpret both as some flavor of bisexual, not gay” and “mischaracterization”.

Will elaborate on the latter.

On Kunikida: headcanon as the fandom might, IMO, this guy isn't confident about love and sex. Let alone super liberated.

Picture this. Inexperienced + perfectionist + “dear diary, today I dreamt of my perfect wife” + “do girls not like me because I'm a nerd?” = pretty romantic, huh? And out of touch with reality.

Don't get me wrong. He does have carnal desires or kinks, I feel. I see him as shy and easy to fluster in the beginning. He takes time to relax and do his thing, being his own biggest critic.

On Dazai: he isn't helpless and definitely has an edge. I have a catboy agenda to set. Think like a cat's claws. Can and will scratch if unhappy, they're part of him, do not declaw the catboy. The feetsies are soft and adorable. They're also a part of him.

In the love aspect: when he LIKES someone, Dazai goes “brain.exe has stopped working” and does/says the stupidest shit. I think he orbits them out of no idea how to deal with it. Staying in the same space, wanting closure, not asking for it. Literal cat behavior again.

Now, in sex matters, he's shameless for… the most part. Not vulnerable all the time. He can flirt when it's for meaningless flings. What IMO WOULD make him cry is emotional stuff. Which may be tied to a sexual moment. Just not necessarily.

[tohisprettyc00l]

collector alphabets

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

VERY affectionate (Mans hasn't been real friends with anyone in hundreds of years please-)So yeah you being their first friend in a while he is very grateful. They don't have many ways to show their affection besides playing games though. They will still try to do things you want to do as well! It's just their still learning how to talk to people again. Not to mention that they couldn't touch anybody or anything for a fucking while.

B = Best friend

If you're able to become BEST friends with him then your life is so much more fun in every way. Listen he sees everyone he even slightly likes as their friend. But since you are his best friend. Hoo boy. If they're still trapped, he will get unbelievably excited once you show up. He Shapeshifts (or whatever that weird thing he does is) to make you laugh. Once they get out, they're not always by you, but they are enough to the point where people are surprised to see you apart.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He has super fluffy clothes, so it's very comfy. Despite them usually wearing pajamas, they are always energetic. So it's gotta be a special occasion for them to cuddle. Well for most, not for you <3. They quickly snuggle up to you. It's very warm and comfy.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

(These might be kind of different because I refuse to write romance for them) Anyway not gonna answer the settled-down question. They can just snap their fingers and boom food n clean house. But if they have to do it without magic...well... yeah no he's clueless. Though he's a quick learner (well kinda) so teach him and he'll be able to help.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) Okay wow... They're not great with their emotions, so if they need to stop being your friend, they'll kinda just Don't? Like they kinda just stop talking to you. ALSO, I want to say why they would. I have no idea for when they're free, but for when they're still trapped, Belos probably made him do it. Belos either tells him he won't set The collector free, or he comes up with some bullshit excuse why he CAN'T.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I really don't know how to answer this for a person who is basically a child-

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

They try their hardest. I mean he has the powers of a God so, despite what it seems like, they restrain themselves a lot. Cause even the smallest mistake could end with you needing to go to the hospital. When it comes to emotions, he has no fucking clue whan they're mean. Like if you tell him he'll apologize and (try) not to do it again. But he does not know he's being mean. I feel like the dude only knows the basics of right and wrong to like-

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Tight and lowkey hurts, or soft and gentle, no in-between. If you have been gone for a while, expect a hug that almost breaks your back. Not to mention in those cases he's almost a blur. But, they don't mind giving you a comforting hug. <3. If they've had a long day he'll just kinda collapses on you and slowly turns that into a hug.

I = I love you (How fast do they use the L-word?)

As soon as they realize, like no hesitation. They are scared of losing you, he knows that humans don't live forever. So they need to tell you before it's too late.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)

(Everyone is going to have a healthy relationship when it comes to jealousy, A.K.A they aren't jealous because you have other friends and the other person is actually doing something to somewhat warrant it) Whenever he is jealous he acts like a child. Because they are one. Not towards you towards the other person. They'll stick their tongue out at them, never talk or reply to the other person, and all around br petty. It's pretty easy to tell when he's jealous. Just tell them they're still your Best friend and they'll stop.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Child. But they do live to both receive and give platonic forehead kisses.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He is a kid. And can't take care of one

Though if you have a little sibling, expect them to immediately become friends with them no questions asked.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He doesn't need to sleep so they'll probably be like a cat or any 5-year-old. Either pokes at you until you wake up, or they just stand in your doorway. Ominously.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Like said they don't sleep. So they probably ask for a sleepover, just so you stay away longer. Would love to watch scary movies with you late in the night, also despite being thousands of years old he will always be more scared than you.

Side note: they will not tolerate you not getting enough sleep. If you wake up early after the slumber parties he will stop having them.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) They take a while to open up. (for obvious reasons.) But the more they get to know you the more they trust you. They will slowly start to tell you about his trauma if you will listen. Though they end up just dumping everything out at once.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Pretty patient with his friends, and also cools down pretty quickly after fights. But, when it comes to people who hurt his friends (mentally or physically) they are screwed. No Patience. Like at all. Not that that is a huge issue when people know you're (best) friends with The Collector.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?) They don't remember your favorite color but remember exactly what you did for your 7th birthday. Mainly because they find "normal" questions boring. (Not saying they find you boring but y'know)

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) The first time you won a game, hands down. It doesn't matter if it was the first try, or if it takes you 1,000 tries. Because he thinks games are a lot more fun if he can lose. (let's be honest with ourselves he barely loses when playing with other people)

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) Pretty fumking protective. Not overprotective though. He has seen a lot of insane ways people get hurt, so they will try to get you to be a little more cautious... Whenever they're not around. He can heal and easily protect you when he's around you. Also while he doesn't need protection, he likes to feel protected. Please just hold and cuddle the boy.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) Okay for special occasions they'll get whatever room it is all bedazzled. Nailing all drawings and photos to the walls, have a bunch of songs ready to play, and the room is covered in fairy lights. (please don't ask where he got the lights, he doesn't want to tell you about his crimes on a special day)

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) Like I said they only know the basics of what's right and what's wrong. So sometimes they'll do pretty messed up stuff without knowing it's bad, in the slightest. Also when you tell them what they're doing is wrong they'll sometimes get defensive. But a lot of the time he's also trying to convince himself he's on the right more than he's trying to convince you.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

They've been around so long they don't really care. Both about their looks and yours. Beauty standards are always changing. So what's the point of stressing about them?

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Not necessarily incomplete, just wrong. When you two first met he missed you when you left but didn't care. But as you became closer it felt weird when you left. So anytime they can they can be by you, they are.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) Their favorite game is Hide and Seek. As mentioned earlier they like for it to be 50/50 of who will win.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?) Boring people. I feel like I've made it pretty obvious, but he needs a person to be somewhat fun to even be acquaintances.

Z = Zzz (What is their sleep habits of theirs?) As mentioned before, he doesn't need to sleep. But he can if he really wants to. So when they do they are a heavy sleeper. They NEED at least 10 stuffed animals to sleep. Also, they steal all of the blankets. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them? I don't have the energy to say 'they play games' in a different way again.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them? Your style when it comes to clothes. It doesn't really matter if it's consistent or not, if it's not that just makes it more to see if he can guess what your wearing. He kinda just doesn't care what you're wearing, you could have the most swagless outfit in history and he'd still love it.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Tries to distract you. And when/if that doesn't work he kinda panics as well. They aren't great at comfort, so all they know how to do is rub your back and whisper 'It's okay.'

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o? He never really thinks about the future. In his opinion, it's a lot funner to think of the present.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive? I'm not going to answer this for anyone because it kinda makes uncomfortable I don't know why 😕

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting? Really depends on what the fights are about, if it's anything small he'll forgive after a day or two. But after a bigger fight it would take a week or two for him to forgive you.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them? After being released he's a lot more grateful in general. Saying thank you to strangers more and more, which might seem small but he was worshiped by many people, so it's a big step for him. But after they truly became your friend, hoo boy. He smothers you with attention. Thanks you constantly for everything. You have to tell the boy to stop.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything? already answered

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems? They are a way better person now (as I've stated before-) But it's not until someone points it out when they realize. Now they also try to help you, granted they aren't the best with human problems or mortal problems. He does try though.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Already answered

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

✨ Already answered ✨

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o? I know I said I wouldn't write romance for them,but I just got an idea. So this is more of a one time thing. He accidentally blurts it out. It takes them a few seconds to realize what they said. The collector quickly apologized and tried to play it off as a mistake. They just misspoke is all! But when you say you feel the same they freeze. What? Really!? They are ecstatic! It takes at least half an hour for him to stop hugging you.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

As said before the romance was a one of thing

N icknames - What do they call their s/o? They aren't one for nicknames. Though they do jokingly call you bestie or babygirl (if your okay with it ofc)

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings? Does this count as romance? I don't think it really does in this case. Anyway they're like a stereotype when it comes to having a crush. They are a stuttering and blushing mess. You have to be the most oblivious person in the world to not notice this. But of course, you are. Though they aren't that mad about it.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching? It romance again. (Though they do brag about you-)

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship. He has the powers of a god. Enough said.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative? You've got to be kidding me

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

They try. Granted he's not the best with helping. So half the time their attempts to help do nothing but like I said they try. Also they 110% believe you can do it. And if someone as powerful as him believing in you isn't a confidence boost then I don't know what it is.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Surprisingly they like to have a little order in day to day life. That's not to say they like to have everything planned out, it's just they get kinda stressed if they don't have somewhat of an idea of the days going to be life.

U nderstanding - How well do they know their partner? Are they empathetic? They know a kinda creepy amount about you. I'm not expanding on that.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life? I've said it again and again, but you're like the most important thing in their life. He would ( and basically can) do anything for you.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon. They have a stuffed animal collection (they are the Collector after all) and all them have unique names. Also when I say unique names I don't just mean they have their own individual names I mean they have names like shampoo, nail polish, and paper bag.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle? Loves cuddles and (plationic) kisses <3. It's nice to calm down and just be comfy. They are pretty affectionate! Traps you in hugs on the regular.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner? If it's when he was trapped in the walshe just kinda fucks around. distracts himself by shapeshifting. But if it's when he's out, he binge watches shows (mainly kids show obv)

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of? They will kill anyone who hurts you ❤️. Okay that's a bit of an exaggeration but they will do anything to protect you.