#and i found this little gem and was like. did i post this? probably not

[disdaidal]

Found this ✨Barbie Billy✨ GIF that I once made and apparently never posted here, so here you go fellas!

[ellemj]

What Am I To You?

Bucky Barnes x Reader One-Shot: SMUT

Summary: You pissed your fuck buddy off and now he only has one question, but it takes a few orgasms to get the right answer out of you.

Warnings: profanity, oral sex (female receiving), fingering, facesitting, light choking, light breeding kink, no use of y/n, praise, spanking, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!

Feel free to comment and let me know if this requires any other warnings. Thank you to @littlemiss-yeehaw for the ones listed above, she's a gem.

Word Count: 4.4k

A/N: This filth came from a random 4am thought that created the dialogue in the first paragraph. I had to use it. Everyone should totally beg @littlemiss-yeehaw to post the horny lil sketch she started for this one-shot. Side note, should I start a tag list for people who want to be tagged in all fics I post? Idk, I'm still way too new to Tumblr to be running a blog like this lmfao. I need a team of advisors.

         “Do you know who the fuck you’re talking to? Get on the bed, I’ll show you.” You stay where you are, standing in the doorway of his bedroom with your arms crossed over your chest in a show of defiance. “Get on the fucking bed, right now.” He repeats, pointing a finger at his bed. You can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s seconds away from dishing out a punishment, one that he’ll enjoy far more than you, so you shuffle forward and crawl onto the bed as he watches. Good girl.

You’ve been here before. You know what he wants from you. He wants you on your hands and knees, with no looking back over your shoulder to see what’s coming. So that’s how you settle yourself, on your hands and knees, staring down at the soft, ruffled up bedding beneath you.

“What am I to you?” He asks, his tone scarily calm and even. You take a deep breath and close your eyes. What kind of answer is he looking for? You’re just fuck buddies. You use each other to de-stress after missions. It’s never been anything more, not once in the past two months that it’s been going on has there ever been so much as a hint that it could be something more.

“I don’t know.” You answer honestly. You listen intently as the familiar sound of Bucky’s belt buckle coming undone fills the silence in the room. A chill races through your body, dancing across the surface of your skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

“You don’t know…” Bucky tsks. You can’t see him, but he’s standing a couple of feet away from the foot of the bed, letting his eyes rake over your nearly exposed ass as he unbuttons his shirt. The little black dress that you’re wearing barely covers anything with the position you’re in, and he’s fucking thankful for it. In fact, if you hadn’t pissed him off tonight, he probably would’ve found some way to fuck you during the mission just because of that dress. But you pissed him off. “I’ll help you figure it out.” Bucky steps forward now, his warm right hand and cool, metal left hand both gracing the skin of your right ankle as he begins taking off your heels. He drops one to the floor before moving on to the other, and then he strips his shirt off and tosses it to the side as well.

“I thought we were just—”

“You don’t want to finish that sentence.” Bucky warns, effectively cutting you off and giving you a chance to save yourself. It’s beyond clear now that this isn’t just a fuck buddies situation to him anymore. It did start out that way though. Two months ago when you two stumbled into bed together, he proposed a friends-with-benefits type of relationship so casually that you would’ve thought he’d had plenty of them in his lifetime. It worked so well, with the two of you meeting up once or twice a week at either your place or his to blow off steam with good sex. It wasn’t until you were a month in that Bucky started to realize he hated the way you’d leave within half an hour of finishing each other off. He hated that you never slept over. He hated that you still had the freedom to talk to other guys, hell, you could even go out on dates with other guys if you wanted and he wouldn’t be able to say shit about it. Because this was nothing. It was just a casual agreement between friends.

Bucky trails his fingers along your calves slowly, taking his time as he decides what he’s going to do with you. Every other time that you’ve been together, he’s let it be a mutually beneficial thing. There was never a time where only one of you pleased the other, because that would’ve defeated the purpose of the arrangement. He would’ve been perfectly content with solely pleasuring you here and there, giving you everything while taking nothing for himself, but you always reciprocated and he never stopped you. But now, he’s going to do exactly what he wants. He’s going to show you what he is to you in the best way that he knows how: by making you come undone for him, by reminding you that no one else has ever or will ever make you feel the way that he can.

As Bucky pulls his hands away from your calves, you hear the sound of his pants dropping to the floor, the sound of his dog tags shifting around his neck and tapping against his bare chest with his movements, and then the sound of a deep sigh leaving his lips. Anticipation courses through your veins and mixes with adrenaline, creating a dangerous compound that only seems to encourage the wetness seeping into your panties. You shift on the bed, wiggling your hips and wishing you could clench your thighs together for even the smallest amount of friction. Bucky, of course, notices you moving and quickly gains control of the situation.

“Impatient, huh? Do you need something?” He questions slyly, letting his hands connect with your calves once again. You’re fooled by his gentle touch, your body not at all expecting his flesh hand to suddenly smack against your ass. “Answer me.” Holy shit. He’s never been quite like this with you before.

“I need you.” You answer, hoping he’ll give you anything in return.

“You don’t even know what I am to you, yet you need me?”

“Bucky…” Your voice trails off as his hands glide further up your legs, past the crooks of your knees and along the sides of your thighs. When both of his hands reach the curve of your ass, he begins pushing the hem of your dress up around your waist. The silence is deafening.

He wasn’t planning to be so rough with you, but as soon as his eyes land on the tiny black thong that was previously hidden beneath your tiny black dress, his hands start functioning on autopilot. A low groan rumbles past his lips as he pulls your panties to the side with his vibranium hand and shoves two fingers into your cunt, without a single breath of a warning.

“BUCKY!” You cry out, arching your back and trying to pull away from him. He moves his vibranium hand to grip your left hip, holding you firmly in place while his fingers are still buried knuckle-deep within you. Giving you little time to adjust, he begins sliding them in and out, in and out, giving himself a chance to feel how wet and tight you are for him. Fuck. It’s going to test every bit of his resolve and self-discipline to get through what he plans to do to you tonight.

“That’s it, say my name.” He encourages you, pumping his fingers in and out at a steady pace. When he leans in and attaches his lips to your clit, you fist the bedding in both hands and squeeze your eyes shut. Breathy moans and curses fall from your lips as his tongue circles over the most sensitive part of your body, all while his two fingers are curling inside of you. You’ve never been one to go careening toward an orgasm with little-to-no effort, but Bucky is skilled. That familiar knot is twisting tighter and tighter in your lower stomach as he relentlessly toys with your pussy.  He can tell you’re already close to your first orgasm of the night, and as much as he wants to withhold it until you admit that he means something to you, he wants to see you come undone for him even more.

“Bucky, I’m close.” Your voice is breathless, all of your energy is focused on actively denying yourself of your release. For the briefest second, you wonder why your body won’t just go ahead and cum, but then you realize that you want his permission. You want him to tell you to let go, to cum on his fingers and lips. Bucky fucks his fingers into you a little harder and deeper, reaching a spot that has your eyes rolling back in your head and your toes curling. Another loud moan from you has Bucky digging his vibranium fingers into your hip with enough force to leave bruises. He knows you’re right on the edge, and it takes him only a second to figure out why you’re not letting go. He pulls his head back for a moment but lets his fingers continue their work.

“Do you want to cum for me, baby?” He asks. There’s a teasing lilt to his voice that sends heat rushing to your cheeks. You nod your head fervently and he chuckles at your neediness. “Who gets you this wet? This desperate for release?” Fuck.

“You, Bucky.” You moan out your response as he pulls his fingers nearly all the way out and slides them back in at the slowest pace yet.

“Who else?” He demands to know, picking up the pace once again.

“No one, only you.” Your answer is honest and it earns you his mouth back on your clit. He sucks and licks at it like his life depends on your impending orgasm. He gets you right back to the edge within seconds, before breaking away from your clit momentarily just to say cum for me. Your orgasm washes over you in an instant, your pussy clenching down on his two fingers as you unintentionally grind against his mouth. He flattens his tongue against your clit and lets you take everything you need. After a few more seconds of immense pleasure, the legs and arms that have been so dutifully holding you up are threatening to collapse.

“What am I to you?” Bucky repeats his question from earlier, but still, your answer is the same.

“I don’t know.” Your voice is quieter now, weaker since the first orgasm took so much energy out of you. Bucky shakes his head, though you can’t see him from your current position. He didn’t think you’d have a better answer after just one orgasm, but he’s going to give you a chance after each one anyway.

“Lay on your back.” Bucky commands. You do as you’re told. As you finally make eye contact with him, he can see the thankfulness in your gaze. You were getting tired of holding the same position. Bucky steps forward and places one knee on the bed, his hands sliding up your thighs. His fingers snag along the waistband of your thong before he begins pulling it down your legs. You bend your knees to make it easier, and he slips it off gently before dropping it on the floor with your heels and his clothes. He climbs onto the bed now, your legs instantly spreading to let him between them. He crawls over your body and the new sensation of his warm skin against yours is delicious. You wish he would’ve taken your dress off already. When you feel the outline of his hard cock, still covered by his boxers, pressing against your wet, sensitive cunt, your eyes flutter closed and your legs instinctively wrap around his hips. You’ve always been a sucker for this, for having him pressed against you so close yet not close enough. It’s always made you a bit feral and Bucky’s fully aware of that. A knowing smirk spreads across his features as he puts a little more weight into your position, pressing his cock against you a little harder. When you open your eyes and look up at him, he has to remind himself that he can’t just give in a fuck the shit out of you right now. He has an end goal.

“Why do we still have clothes on?” You ask, referring to your dress and his boxers. Bucky chuckles lowly starts circling his hips against you, drawing a soft hum from your pretty lips. He dips his head down and starts leaving light kisses along the side of your neck. He knows that’s a weakness of yours too, his mouth anywhere on your skin. It’s one of the first tactics he deploys when he wants to fuck but he isn’t sure if you’re up for it or not.

“Do you want our clothes off?” Bucky breathes the question against the skin just below your earlobe and you find yourself having trouble concentrating. He can feel you nod, but he doesn’t actually give a damn about what you want right now. He’s not a monster though, so he’ll give you half of what you want. He pushes himself off of you in one swift movement and stands on the floor beside the bed. You turn your head to watch as he slides his boxers down his legs and kicks them off. They join the pile that consists of the rest of his clothes, your heels, and your thong on the floor. When he returns to his position on top of you, you stick out your bottom lip in a pout over him not removing your dress. He’s quick to lean in and suck that bottom lip in between his teeth, biting down on it lightly before slipping his tongue into your mouth. He always tastes so fucking good, though you can never pinpoint what he tastes like. It’s just him. Honestly, you’d let him spit in your mouth if he wanted to.

Bucky kisses a lot like he fucks, with so much passion that it makes your heart race and your mind reel. It makes you think about how mediocre every other kiss with any other guy was, about how kissing was just a minor part of foreplay until you started kissing him. Now kissing is everything. Your hands travel up his sides and settle on either side of his face as you fight to deepen the kiss. When you suck on his tongue, he groans into your mouth and pulls back. You love the way his lips and nose get pink when he kisses you like that.

“No more kissing.” Bucky rasps. You let out a whine that makes his cock twitch. He loves hearing how needy you are for him, but it’s especially enjoyable when he hears how needy you are just for him to kiss you. He starts grinding his now bare cock along the folds of your pussy with just the right amount of pressure, focusing his efforts on your clit. He probably should’ve used his mouth and fingers again for this one, because he’s far too close to cumming just from feeling how wet you are against his shaft. His cock collects your wetness more and more with each thrust of his hips, and for a second he thinks about just letting the tip slide in. He won’t do it though, not yet. He won’t put his cock inside of you until he’s ready to make you cum for the third time.

“You’re being a tease tonight.” You pout, letting your hands find his hips and using your grasp there to pull him harder against you. He stills himself and you let out a frustrated sigh. Why isn’t he giving you more?

“You’re being greedy. You already came once, you should be saying thank you.” Bucky retorts, pushing himself up with his hands and sitting back on his knees between your legs. Your eyes are quick to zone in on his cock, just as his flesh hand is wrapping around it and giving it a firm stroke from the base to the tip. God, you’ve always loved seeing him touch himself. He doesn’t do it in front of you often. Normally the two of you are quick to get down to business and just fuck, but there have been a few very memorable times where you get to see him stroke his cock right before he guides it inside of you. Your tongue darts out, wetting your bottom lip, and for a second Bucky imagines that same tongue all over his fucking cock. No. This isn’t about him tonight. This is about finally making you see what’s been right in front of you all along.

“Please.” The word leaves your lips so softly, so gently, that Bucky’s hand hesitates around his length. He’s never heard you beg before. You’ve never had a reason to, he always gave you what you needed, before you had to ask. A dark feeling settles within his chest as he realizes he likes it.

“Please?” He repeats the word, as if he doesn’t understand the meaning. You see the way his gaze changes from one of lust to one of pure desire. He wants more.

“Please, Bucky. Fuck me.” You give him the most innocent look you can muster up as you lay there in his bed with your pussy exposed and nearly dripping onto his bedding. He tightens his fist around the base of his cock and scrunches his eyes closed, clearly trying to talk himself down from blowing his load way too fucking soon. If he sits there and looks at you any longer, he won’t last, he won’t be able to make it to his end goal tonight. The only thing he can think of to keep himself on track is something that’ll easily obscure his vision of you.

“No, you’re going to sit on my face.” He says roughly, positioning himself on his back next to you. He looks over at you impatiently, he almost looks offended that you’re not already changing positions for him. You’re quick to sit up and swing a leg over his torso, straddling his chest but not making any contact with him yet. “I said my face, sweetheart.”

“I know, but—” You’re about to point out that he’s already eaten you out once tonight and you haven’t even had the chance to reciprocate, when he abruptly grasps your thighs and pulls you over his head. “Fuck.” You mumble the curse word out as he easily pulls you down, your cunt making contact with his mouth as he dives in. You can’t form a single thought as his tongue delves into you. He fucks you with it almost as thoroughly as he did with his fingers just a few minutes ago, thrusting it in and out while your clit brushes against the tip of his nose. His hands slide back to grip your ass and you have to brace your hands on the headboard to keep from putting your full weight on his face. He can feel your resistance and he hates it. He lifts you up an inch just to chastise you.

“I said sit on my fucking face, not hover over it.” He pulls you down again but this time he brings his right hand in to rub harsh circles against your clit as his tongue continues its work on your entrance. You’re panting and breaking out in a sweat within a few seconds. You still haven’t fully sat on his face, so he’s going to give you one more punishment and see if you’ll give in. His vibranium hand moves away from you and the swings back once more, slapping your ass so hard that you fall forward a bit, your cunt landing firmly against Bucky’s mouth. He hums against your pussy in approval, and the sound sends vibrations through your core. Fuck. You’re going to cum a second time and he hasn’t even fucked you yet. When he sets just the right pressure and pace with his flesh fingers on your clit, and his tongue starts lapping into you like eating pussy is his fucking career, your orgasm hits you like a freight train. Your chest is heaving and your knuckles are turning white as your death grip on the headboard threatens to bruise your palms.

“Fuck, I’m cumming. Oh my god, Bucky!” You cry the words out so loudly, yet your voice sounds so far away in your own ears as your orgasm short circuits your entire nervous system. After a few seconds, you realize you’re grinding lazy circles against Bucky’s mouth, and he’s letting you. “Shit.” You mutter, using all of your remaining strength to try to dismount his face. He grasps your thighs to stop you, and then places a long, gentle kiss right against your clit, sucking on it in the slightest bit as he pulls back. Then, he lets you go. You collapse on the bed next to him, your breasts threatening to spill over the low-cut neckline of your dress from tonight’s activities thus far.

“What am I to you?” Bucky asks a third time, rolling onto his side to face you. He gazes at you with a much gentler expression than earlier as he brushes a few loose strands of hair away from your face. He thinks you look so damn perfect like this. You always glow after sex, but after two orgasms you could be mistaken for the fucking sun.

“Bucky…” Your voice trails off as you desperately search your brain for the answer he’s looking for. He obviously doesn’t want you to say that he’s your fuck buddy, and maybe he isn’t. You probably shouldn’t feel as jealous as you do when he ends up on missions with Sharon instead of you, that’s not very fuck-buddy-friendly of you. You also probably shouldn’t hate the few minutes after sex when he’s catching his breath in bed while you’re pulling your clothes on, hoping he won’t be annoyed with how long it takes you to get out of his apartment. Maybe you’re more than fuck buddies. But still, you don’t know what to call it. “I’m not sure.”

“You’re not sure.” Bucky repeats slowly, as if he’s tasting the words. His facial expression remains gentle, but the light in his eyes darkens. “Take off your dress.” He doesn’t have to tell you twice. You push yourself up and sit on the side of the bed before pulling the dress over your head and letting it fall to the floor. You haven’t even had the chance to lay back down when he starts moving to sit right behind you, letting his legs come around either side of you so your back presses against his chest. Ah, you see where he’s going with this. The wall that you’re both now facing has a tall standing mirror, giving you the perfect view of your naked body in front of his in the dim light of his bedroom. “Look at yourself.” Bucky coos, cupping your chin with his flesh hand and tilting your head up the tiniest bit. “So fucking pretty.”

His words have you blushing for some reason. Of all of the times you’ve been naked in his bed, you don’t recall him ever saying sweet things to you just for the sake of saying them. Maybe he thought them, you wouldn’t know, but he sure as hell never said them. It sends a wave of warmth throughout your body, and your already pink-tinged cheeks take on another layer of blush. With almost no effort, Bucky places his hands on your hips and pushes you up to a standing position. He then tucks his legs between yours and then grips his cock in his hand. He gives it a few slow pumps before angling you above it and then guiding you to sit down. Right on his fucking dick. The moan that leaves your lips as your head falls back against his shoulder could’ve come from amateur porn. The penetration feels as if it’s happening in slow motion, as you take one-fourth, then half, then three-fourths, and then…his entire fucking cock inside of you.

“That’s it, baby, all of it.” Bucky begins peppering kisses across your neck and right shoulder, but his eyes are locked on the mirror, staring at where the two of you are connected. “Whose fingers make you cum?” He asks, as his right hand skims down your side, straight to your clit. He uses his middle and ring fingers to start gently massaging your already-sensitive clit. You lift your head to meet his gaze in the mirror.

“Yours.” You answer quietly, slowly beginning to slide up and down his length. You’re only moving an inch at a time, not yet adjusted nor ready to fuck his cock how it deserves to be fucked.

“Good girl.” Why does such simple praise from him make you feel like you’re having a mini orgasm on the spot? Jesus. You start fucking half of his cock now, lifting yourself up and then sitting back down, but not daring to pull off anywhere near the tip. “Whose mouth makes you cum?”

“Yours.” You say again, a little louder this time as the pleasure begins building low in your stomach once more.

“That’s right, you’re doing so good for me, baby.” Bucky picks up the pace with his hand. His work on your clit is making stars flash in your vision and your pussy continuous clench around his cock. “And who do you let cum in this perfect little pussy? Huh? Who does this belong to?” He asks, his eyes once again drifting down in the mirror until they land on where his cock is disappearing inside of you. He groans as you sit fully down on it again.

“You, Bucky.” You moan, now fully adjusted to his thick length. You start bouncing on it, unable to control yourself any longer. Bucky’s having none of that. He quickly slides his flesh hand up your stomach, between your breasts, and wraps it around your neck. He isn’t choking you, he’s merely gaining your full attention with an authoritative move. You freeze, your eyes locking onto his in the mirror as you sit there with his entire length inside of you.

“I’m going to fuck the shit out of you, and then I’m going to cum inside you so fucking deep that you might end up pregnant.” His filthy words give you as much pleasure as any touch, any kiss, any physical thing he could ever do to you. Your pussy tightens around him at the promise that he’s just spoken. “Now tell me, why would you be here right now, letting me do that? What am I to you?”

“Everything.”

Finally, you gave him the right answer.

[boothillssugarmomma]

sunday likes shiny stuff bc ravens likes shiny stuff, its just an idea

I love that idea! Birds all like shiny stuff so I could see him sneaking away with your jewelry and trinkets!

🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀

Shiny Treasures

(Sunday x Fem!Reader)

cw-: lying Sunday, fluff, embarrassed boy, nervous boy 🤭

🎀 authorsnote: I literally was supposed to post this three weeks ago I'm so sorry 😭

please don't steal my work!

🎀Taglist🎀HSR Master List🎀 Other Lists🎀

Sunday had...a certain fondness for shiny things...a rather childish and unanticipated flaw to his character, really. No matter how small, insignificant or worthless they were.

Perhaps it had something to do with the halovians' innate desire for attention and glory, that would explain it. Or maybe it was because he was like a bird. But whatever the case, he was rather drawn to the gleam of precious gems and glittery accessories.

He sometimes tries to snatch your jewelry, thinking that you wouldn't notice, but fails miserably and you find that adorable.

"Hey hon do you know where that necklace I was wearing yesterday went?" You hum, peeking into his office.

Your boyfriend is hard at work, staring at some papers with concentration as he writes on them.

Sunday looked at you through the corner of his eye. His eyes looked a bit panicked before he started to concentrate on his papers again, but at this moment, he was just pretending.

"No, I don't...why my love?"

He answered with a simple reply. He thought that might work, right?

"Oh really?" You smile as you lean against the doorway. "I was going to wear it to that event we need to go to tonight."

Sunday stayed silent. And for some reason, his face started to redden a bit.

He knew that you weren't a fool. Why did he even think that you didn't know he stole your jewelry? Sunday sighed.

"Fine."

He opened his left drawer to carefully pick up your necklace and hold it out to you. Blushing as he looks away.

You snicker walking forward to lean down and kiss his forehead. "I know you like shiny things baby...but try to work on it?" Your voice soothes his embarrassment a bit.

Sunday looks at you, his face going even redder when you kissed his forehead.

"Mhm...I will...sorry"

He answered softly. He definitely didn't want to admit that he had an unhealthy obsession with shiny things, but he knew you already learned his secret anyways.

"Now...do you know where my rings are?" You glance into his eyes, yours have a hint of amusement while his are just plain panic.

"N-No..."

Sunday looked away. You knew he was lying again. He was bad at it, and he knew that you probably knew he was acting. You couldn't help but find that adorable.

"You must have placed them in our room...maybe on the nightstand!" He stammers a bit with his lie.

This wasn't like him and he hated it, the lying was killing him even if it couldn't be helped. He knew you weren't mad, you were amused, you loved his obsessions. But he still felt out of control with himself.

"Okkk..." You hum before kissing his nose. "So if I were to...check my nightstand in an hour...would they be back?" Your eyes narrow playfully as they gaze into his.

He blushed again. He really wasn't good at lying. Especially to you...his lovely girlfriend.

"Y-yes."

He replied. Sunday still found it quite difficult to look at you in the eyes while he was embarrassed like this. Why did he even steal them in the first place?

"Alright my little dove..." You smile softly, walking to the door before stopping and looking over your shoulder. "Oh and I wanted to tell you that I hung the suit you'll be wearing up on your door for when you get ready."

"T-Thank you, darling."

Sunday sighed of relief. He thought that you were going to keep asking him for jewelry back, reminding him of his little habit for the rest of the day. Sunday stood and followed to the door to grab his suit.

He quickly decided to give you a kiss on the cheek as a way to apologize for his silly behaviour.

"Let me know when you want me to help tie your tie. I'll be in our room." You smile before walking down the corridor out of his sight.

"Mhm, will do."

Sunday let out a heavy breath. Now that you're out of his sight, he has time to collect himself. He can't stop thinking about the feeling of your skin on his lips.

His thoughts always go crazy when you're around.

After he starts to prepare himself for the event, reading over his speech, making quick changes. He finally slips his suit on before glancing into his office mirror and remembering his tie.

He walks down the corridor where you had walked a bit previously into your shared room.

Glancing in he notices you sitting at your vanity, clearly doing your last preparations as well. His eyes soften as he watches you, his beautiful dove.

Finally he cleared his throat and spoke. "Hey, darling? Do you mind helping out a bit?" Holding the tie up he blushes embarrassed.

"Hmm?" You hum looking over your shoulder and glance at his undone tie. A warm laugh escapes your lips before you nod. "Cmere honey."

He walked over to you and wrapped his arms around your back. He looked at your neck, and decided to give a little peck to it. He then hid his face in your shoulders.

"I don't know why, but I feel quite embarrassed right now. I mean I should be able to do my own tie..." Sunday sighs softly. "Please Help me out, will you darling...?" He asked softly, his hot breath against your neck.

"Of course my love..." You hum, making quick work to turn around and start tying his tie.

His eyes catch a glint of light out of the corner of them. Glancing to your vanity he notices a pair of sparkly diamond earrings, ones he bought for you no doubt.

He caught himself looking at the earrings. But he was just so tempted to take them right now, but decided to try to restrain himself.

Sunday waited patiently for you to tie his tie. He found this kind of bonding with you wholesome...if only he wasn't thinking about those damned earrings.

He couldn't handle it anymore, so when you were distracted he used his arm length to his advantage and swiped the earrings, putting them in his pocket.

Sunday felt a sense of guilt, stealing your earrings, but he also felt satisfied. He had to act normal now, and hope you didn't notice he pocketed your earrings.

"All done!" You smile brightly as you turn to the mirror to show him. "God you look so handsome..."

His blush returns, even though he's used to your compliments...he can't ever get used to the notion that you're his. "Thank you, darling. You look absolutely stunning yourself."

He said, and gave you a smile. He wrapped his arm around you and kissed your hair lightly.

You both stand there for a few minutes, gazing at the mirror and at each other. But eventually the silence had to be broken.

"Ok! Go grab your speech and we can head out!" You smile patting his chest. He nods softly before you watch him walk to the door.

Sunday was obviously trying to rush out of the room, with a sense of panic in his mind that maybe you somehow noticed the earrings he just swiped.

"Oh and Sunday?"

His body tenses as he places a hand on the doorway. He gulps a bit before turning to you. "Y-Yes honey?"

"Earrings please." You snicker before holding your hand out. Eyes amused instead of angry.

"You noticed...?"

He asked, looking at your hand nervously. He slowly reached for his pocket and took out the earrings, reaching to hand them to you while looking away. He was as red as a flame spawn...

"It's hard not to when you bumped my waist with your hand while trying to reach for them..." You roll your eyes playfully.

He looks down at the ground, his wings drooping a bit. You gently cup his face and tilt his head upwards a bit.

"I could never get mad at my cute little dove..." You kiss his cheek. "Its kinda cute..."

"Heh...you mean that?"

He let out a sigh of relief. At least you didn't get mad at him for stealing your jewelry. He still had a hint of curiosity in his eyes though, wondering just how much jewelry you had.

Instead of asking he just gave you a small peck on the nose.

"My little Halovian..." You chuckle softly. "Such a jewelry snatcher." Walking to the front door, slipping your heels on. "Is your sister also like this?"

"Oh believe me...hah, she's worse."

"...remind me to never bring jewelry around her."

"Noted, my dear."

🎀End🎀

[reidsc0nverse]

pov your instagram when dating spencer reid pt 4

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(y/n) i think derek got fed up with his statistics...

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spencerreid1 This was frightening to say the least.

-> emilyprenty Maybe stop giving us daily lectures on a topic we brought up one time

-> paparossi @/emilyprenty I second that

derekm This is also me after he wins EVERY card game we play

-> (y/n) did you know there's a mathematical equation to every card game that guarantees the chances of winning 🤓☝️

-> jjareau not you too y/n..

-> spencerreid1 She's actually not wrong.

AaronHotchner I hope this isn't what you guys do when I'm not on the field with everyone

-> (y/n) 🤷‍♀️

Liked by katecallahan, hotboylukealvez, and 174 others

(y/n) finally convinced him to read og fairytales and watch the movies afterward

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spencerreid1 ❤️

derekm Reid definitely seems like a rapunzel guy

-> (y/n) his favorite was actually belle

-> emilyprenty @/(y/n) shocker

jjareau Now you've just gotta show him Twilight

-> (y/n) that's next 🤭

princesspennyg This is so cute!!!!!

-> (y/n) until right after the movie he started telling me all the inaccuracies were in it compared to the story

-> paparossi Dont sound too surprised

Liked by derekm, AaronHotchner and 232 others

(y/n) i might've gotten a little carried away

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emilyprenty that should've been me

-> (y/n) come over.

-> derekm @/spencerreid1 you're just gonna let this happen??

-> spencerreid1 I've come to realize there's nothing I can do.

jjareau And to think we thought he'd never get any action

Liked by alexblake, princesspennyg, and 184 others

(y/n) found this gem going through my pictures, it was too good not to post

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emilprenty JUMPSCARE WARNING

-> (y/n) ⚠️

-> paparossi After the 30 something years I've worked in the FBI, this is probably the scariest thing I've seen

-> spencerreid1 :(

spencerreid1 Why does Derek look like he's going to kick you down like one of his doors?

-> (y/n) HAHAHAHAHAHAH DID YOU JUST MAKE A JOKE SPENCER REID???

-> derekm at least i don't look like sixth grader at his graduation of middle school

-> (y/n) @/derekm yeah and you look like his bully that steals his lunch money

what other things do you guys wanna see? there's a bunch of stuff i can do similar to this just lmk!!!

[attic-club-sandwich]

How they are Handling your Disappearance. Hello all, get ready for some more Nightbringer Angst! This is a little drabble (bullet point style) of how I think the "Present Day Demon Brothers" are handling your sudden disappearance. Honestly I hate thinking too deeply about NB, it brings me to tears. I can't even imagine the pain and anxiety the brothers are feeling without knowing where their beloved human went and why. Anyways, grab your tissues and I hope you enjoy! Feedback and reblogs are super appreciated!

Taglist: @delphi-dreamin @bite-sized-devil @sassykattery @amberrskiies @obey-me-posts @a-hidden-gem @otomefoxystar @siofrantic

Part 2 : Side Characters

Part 3: MC Returns

Rose divider by @/firefly-graphics

Fill out my form if you'd like to be tagged in my work!

They’ll always remember the exact day and time you disappeared. It was their day off from RAD, and you had been in the Devildom since Solomon had brought you by for some training sessions. You practically begged the sorcerer to allow you to visit the House of Lamentation, and Solomon happily obliged. You really didn't have to convince him too much, though. The brothers were so happy and surprised to see you again so soon, and they had planned on taking you out for dinner that evening. Except you never showed. They spent hours searching for you. Those hours easily turned into days. Then the days turned into weeks. There was no trace of you left behind. Where did you go?

💙Lucifer💙

He’s terrified. He doesn’t know why or how you disappeared, but he feels responsible.

He spends every waking moment looking for signs of you. Trying to piece together what or who took you from him.

Knows he has to be strong for the rest of their brothers.

But when he can no longer feel your bond with you through the pact, he feels the unbearable weight of despair crack through his usual stoic demeanor. 

He cries. He hasn’t cried like this since their fall.

Lucifer hardly sleeps. His brothers notice the bags under his eyes. How he no longer cares what he looks like in front of them. 

He becomes distant again, shutting himself in his room or study. 

If you thought his hatred for Solomon was strong before, it’s infinitely worse now. 

He doesn’t know who else to blame, so the silver haired sorcerer becomes his reasoning for your disappearance. 

The eldest demon has his hands around Solomon’s throat, Mammon and Beel having to pull him off. 

“Lucifer are ya nuts?! We gotta have him alive if we have any hope in finding MC!” Mammon had scolded him as he became limp in Beel’s strong grip.

Solomon promised he’d bring you back.

He better not dare to show his face back here until you are with him, safe and sound. 

💛Mammon💛

The normally confident and self assured demon becomes silent. Angry. Afraid. 

 Aside from their initial searching for you, he doesn’t leave your room. 

He can’t feel your pact with him anymore, and it sends him spiraling. 

He buries himself into your pillows, inhaling your lingering scent.

It’s faint, but he takes what he can get

His eyes are puffy and red from crying, and he can’t stand sitting around doing nothing.

He goes out every night, flying over the Devildom, searching.

When he can’t, Mammon sends his familiars out searching for you too, exploring the areas that he can’t reach. 

The ravens are good at finding things, and if they can’t find you, then he’s screwed. 

Each time they come back with nothing. 

Occasionally, they bring him Grimm they’ve found or a valuable piece of treasure. 

But you’re the only treasure he gives a shit about right now. 

When he goes to retreat back to his room, he runs into Lucifer. 

He looks terrible. 

But Mammon can’t blame him. He probably noticed his swollen face and unwashed hair, too. 

He sends you texts every day. Even if you don’t get them. 

Normally he’d be grossed out by his own sappiness, but he doesn’t care. 

He needs you.

MC, wherever you are, just know I love you. So goddamn much. Please come back.

I miss you.

I hope you’re thinking of me, too. 

🧡Leviathan🧡

Leviathan always told you he wouldn’t know what he’d do without you. 

But he really didn’t want to really experience what life would be without you!

Is this some cruel joke?!

It’s got to be! One of his alternate universe video games went wrong again right?

Except it isn’t. You’re actually gone, and he actually has no idea what to do with himself. 

He cries. Alot. 

To mask his tears from his brothers, he spends a lot of time in his fish tank with Henry 2.0. 

Don’t get him wrong, he loves Henry, but he longs for you. His soulmate.

He sends Lotan to search the Devildom seas, far and wide. He had asked him to listen for any information of sightings of you. 

 But so far, there’s been nothing. No word. No trace of you.

He lays curled up in his bathtub, a laptop balanced on his lap as he watches anime to try and distract himself from you.

But oh no, is this your favorite episode?! He turns it off, shoving the laptop away and fresh tears falling down his cheeks. 

I’m so useless, he thinks. The Grand Admiral of Hell’s Navy, and I can’t even find a human!

Levi’s self depreciative behavior gets worse.

He blames himself for not being with you when you disappeared.

He begins picking at his skin and nails, an old, nervous habit resurfacing from back when he first fell into the Devildom. 

His brothers do what they can to reassure him, but it’s no use. 

He needs you. Please come back home soon, MC.

💚Satan💚

Satan’s temper tantrums are back.

He didn’t ever think he’d revert back to this, but now that you’re gone….

Accidentally lost his temper and in a wrath filled frenzy blew through the wall in the living room. Lucifer threatened to tie him up. 

Normally the prideful demon would have just done it, but something about his older brother was different nowadays.

He feels it too, he thought. The pacts are gone.

Spends sleepless nights in the library reading any book he can find about curses.

Did you become invisible? He had no other explanation.

Was it the work of some demon on the street who decided they didn’t like you that day?

He’s frustrated because he feels like he doesn’t know anything.

He knows nothing of your sudden disappearance

Like Mammon, he sends his cats out looking for you. Any sign of you. 

But they also bring back nothing but a dead mouse here and there. 

Normally he’d be delighted by their gift to him, but it’s lost its appeal.

When he’s worried about you, nothing else matters. 

Lucifer did allow him to keep a cat in the house though. 

Also uses his personal connections from all three realms to look for you. 

But it’s no use. 

When he’s not in the library, he’s shut away in his room. 

His brothers think for a moment that he’s disappeared as well, but they find him asleep on his bed, his cheeks tear stained and a book on his chest. 

Please come home, MC. I need you.

💖Asmodeus💖

Asmo’s love for you rivals the love he feels for himself. 

Now that you are gone, he feels he has no love left to give for anyone.

He feels empty. 

The Avatar of Lust takes pride in his appearance, always making sure he’s presentable and looking his best. 

But not knowing where you are and if you are safe or not is driving him mad. 

His brothers haven’t seen him this way in a long time. 

Asmo’s eyes are puffy and red, his cheeks and nose raw and swollen from the endless tears. 

He spends hours in the bath, thinking of anything he may have said or done to cause you to leave him like this. 

He takes up the habit of sleeping a lot. He wasn’t sure how Belphie could do it all the time. But now he understands. 

Asmo can also throw a good temper tantrum. 

The day he realized he could no longer feel your pact with him sent him over the edge.

But afterwards he felt embarrassed, even though his brothers will never blame him for expressing his feelings for you. 

When Solomon leaves to go find you, he feels hopeful, putting all the trust he has in your master to find you.

But it also hurts. He hasn’t left Solomon’s side since your disappearance, taking comfort in the bond he still has with him.

He’ll never take it for granted again. 

MC, I can’t take this! If you can hear me, please come home, my lost little lamb… I love you…

❤️Beelzebub❤️

Beel is quiet. 

He’s another one that feels responsible for your disappearance.  

His heart is aching, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. 

Thankfully, he has his twin by his side to reassure him. But it’s not enough. 

He needs to know where you’ve gone. 

He needs to save you. 

Beel’s appetite is all over the place. One minute, he can’t stop eating and the next, he’s not hungry at all. 

His brothers got really concerned when he didn’t eat for 2 whole days.

The only hunger he feels is the need to figure out where you went. 

Not only is he worried about you, he’s worried for his brothers. 

He knows they are suffering too, especially with the noticeable absence of your pact. 

Beel has always been protective of them, after all.

He stops going to the gym. He doesn’t feel like it. 

Instead, he cuddles up in bed with Belphie, holding him close with tears silently rolling down his cheeks. 

Beel you’re squeezing too hard, he hears his twin mumble. But he doesn’t care.

He’s almost lost his brother before, and now your disappearance has him terrified. 

Please, don’t take anyone else away from me. 

I love you, MC, please wherever you are, stay safe…

💜Belphegor💜

Belphie’s temper is a short fuse. More than usual, anyways. 

He doesn’t want to talk to anyone but Beel. 

He tries to retreat to the attic to get some peace and quiet from his brothers losing their collective shit. 

But he ends up drowning in a wave of memories as soon as he walks through the door. 

He collapses on the bed and hugs his cow pillow to his body as he sobs, his body curling in on itself. 

Dammit MC, look at what you do to me…you need to come home…

When he isn’t sleeping, he helps soothe the rest of his brothers to sleep. He sees their dreams, knows the thoughts that are keeping them awake.

He wants to help, but figures this could be the only way he knows how. 

He doesn’t feel your presence at all, though. 

That must mean you aren’t anywhere nearby, or even in the same Realm. He knows your pact with him is gone. 

He felt it break the day you disappeared. 

But sometimes he feels a flutter of something in the place where the mark used to be. 

He can’t explain why. 

Belphie often finds himself slipping into bed with his twin at night. 

They were inseparable before, but even more so now that you aren’t around. 

I can’t lose him too, I have to stay by his side, he thinks. He snuggles into Beel’s chest as his brother holds him close, afraid he might disappear too at any second.

He misses the days when you were nestled comfortably right between the two of them. 

You need to come back MC, you’re our missing piece. 

[houseki-no-suffering]

Hey! I found a post of yours (specifically a phos analysis) from a looong while ago. Just curious to hear what your thoughts on the last chapters and the conclusion of the story are!

I recently finished the manga after putting it off for 4 years, and it was an incredible but such a bittersweet read. Maybe it's just me being a sucker for happy endings, but man, it really did not get happier </3

And you probably already know this, but did you know that Ichikawa released the last chapter the same day a comet flew by that looked exactly like the comet from the last chapter? Really cool stuff but I am emotionally destroyed haha

I suppose it was the only kind of happy ending HnK could have, and I don't think I mind it as much as other things that have happened in the last few chapters. It reads more HnK than anything that has happened in the past 1-2 years of serialization.

I appreciate the bittersweet notes (always have) and Ichikawa's words that this is how she wanted the story to end, it doesn't happen to every mangaka. Also, the comet bit is such a nice touch.

As for Phos (I suppose this is the post you meant?), I do believe that they got a happy ending.

If you think about it, instead of becoming a lunarian and being prayed away like the others, Phos' journey gave them the power and knowledge to rise above them. Thanks to their flaws (being brittle, having special inclusions, maybe being the most human of all the gems) they became human, the most flawed of creatures, and basically reverted to the purity of a child, a god, sin-less (even if this is a Buddhist story, so idk if I can actually speak of sin) and therefore free of everything that made humanity always dissatisfied, dangerous and unhappy. The others renounced existence, Phos found a way to reach paradise.

Humanity doesn't come out of this looking like a nice bunch of people to hang out with, and neither do the lunarians (gems included at this point). And yet, there's so much compassion in everything Phos does: a kind child, up until the very end.

I always speculated (and was not alone in this) that Phos' job would become to pray the lunarians/everyone away, find Cinnabar the job to kill them, become a Bodhisattva... in this, I believe, the story remained true to itself. What I believe no one saw coming was how shallow(?) it all seemed in the end.

Everyone came back, making Phos' sacrifices and suffering basically meaningless, everyone started getting along and solving centuries-old problems in seconds. Then, Ichikawa introduced so many new changes abruptly... It felt rushed, lazy and overly simple, when most of us loved HnK for its complexity and depth.

Maybe it was because Ichikawa wanted (or needed to) end the series with ch 108. Usually, when mangaka put a limit to the chapters they want to write, it really damages the story and I wasn't a fan of this even in this situation.

Aside from these issues, I appreciate how Ichikawa seemed to care about the character of Phos.

Maybe this all happened so that Phos could be happy, maybe this was the only possible way for Phos to be happy? It would be a little bit like in Devilman, where the world basically ends only so that Satan can understand love. Idk, little old Phos didn't seem that desperate a case, they just wanted truth, yes, this did cause some... issues, but other than that they're a sweetheart.

This is the leitmotif of the series, after all: Phos is a kind, selfless gem who cultivates a deep sense of self-hatred.

They internalize a pressure and a need to feel useful (coming from gem society) and turn them into a necessity for change (unlike in gem society). Initially, they want to find a job. Then, they want to help Cinnabar find a job, then they want to help Ventricosus, then then want to become a fighter, then they want to help sensei, then the gems, then the lunarians...

Contrary to most of the other gems, Phos loves and loves openly and unconditionally. They start off as a self-less creature who believes that their life isn't worth anything. Therefore, they put it on the line time and time again and, eventually, lose it time and time again as they change form.

It's their journey towards truth and happiness: they change and lose pieces of themselves, forget things, renounce gem-ness in favor of humanity and then humanity for god-hood.

Phos changes until they find the form that makes them happy. Their purest, happiest form. They change so much that they come back to square one almost: they become pure Phosphophyllite, with no inclusions at all. Still fragile, still small, but selfless and cheerful. Carefree.

In a sense, HnK ends with Phos becoming Phos.

[unformula1]

So… corny (LN4 x male!reader)

lando likes you w/c: 612 a/n: happy pride month ! (masterlist)

“Happy pride month!” Lando says as you walk into the room.

You raise an eyebrow and stare at him, confused.

“Okay, rude.” He scoffs and kicks his feet up onto the table, glaring at you.

“Thank… you?” You say, still a little unsure.

“That’s more like it!” He claps and goes back to scrolling his phone.

“I’m not…” You hesitate, not sure how to phrase this, “How did you know?”

“It’s really not that hard!” Lando shrugs, “You radiate that energy.”

“How… what?” You look at Lando, confused.

“You’re clueless!” Lando sighs, exasperated, “My gaydar is never wrong.” He smirks confidently.

“Doesn’t explain much.” You shake your head.

“The accounts you follow on basically all your socials! Your posts from 2018 onward, it’s basically an open book!” Lando says.

“So you stalked me?” 

“What!? No-” Lando’s legs drop off the table, “No, wait- well when you phrase it like that.”

You nod as Lando facepalms.

“I appreciate it.” You say as you take a seat next to Lando and pat him on the shoulder.

“It’s not like it was unprompted, it’s because-” Lando trips over his own words, “Someone asked me and I thought I’d go find out!”

You nod but slightly slower, giving Lando an awkward smile.

“Yea… okay.” You pat his shoulder slightly harder.

“You’re not like… insulted… or anything, right?” Lando asks.

“No! Not at all.” You say.

“Well, I also found a couple of gems!” He says as he holds up his phone with a screenshot of your old post.

“Oh-” You gasp, “Oh hell no!”

Lando laughs at your reaction and swipes, showing you another.

A message drops from Lando’s phone. 

you should just ask him

And another.

he might say yes

You shrug them off quickly as Lando swipes again.

“How many did you take!?” 

“Like… thirty!” He smiles proudly.

“I’m gonna beat you up.” You say.

“Hey!” Lando leans back, “You aren’t flattered?”

“What?” 

“Nothing. Pretend I never said that.” He quickly stashes away his phone.

“Well, of course I’m flattered!” You chuckle, “It’s been a while since someone has given me this much attention/”

“Oh?” He says, “Really!?” He says, but more excitedly.

“Yea, I mean-” You speak with your hands a lot more, hoping to bring across a point.

“I don’t understand.”

“You don’t need to! Just know I’m flattered.” You say and Lando smiles really wide.

You sigh.

“Usually guys get to this point and say ‘just know i’m not like into you or anything’” You say, horribly mimicking a deep voice.

“Oh well I won’t say that!” Lando says.

“Because you’re into me?” You provoke.

“What- No, wait, I mean, yes?” He chokes on his words, “Probably, I don’t know- maybe? I’m confused.”

“You just said 5 different answers in 2 seconds.” You chuckle.

He buries his face.

“I don’t know.” 

You feel bad for that now. You take a deep breath.

“I didn’t know either. You’ll figure it out, eventually.” You assure him while patting his back, “Take your time.”

“You don’t…” Lando hesitates, “It’s not going to be weird right?”

“No, never.” You say, “After all, I would know all about it!”

“Right, yea.” Lando looks at you, “It’s just been a tad bit confusing lately.”

“First off, don’t say ‘tad’, it sounds silly.” You joke, “Secondly, it’s going to be confusing, just give it all a minute to make sense.”

“You’re pretty.”

“I know-” You smirk, “Thank you.”

“Is it mutual?”

“Very much.”

“Oh.”

“Cool.”

That was… a lot more casual than expected. You and Lando lock eyes for a second and you smile which fills Lando with warmth as he smiles back.

God this is absolutely corny.

[sotwk]

Cinder Girl (Fíli x unnamed OC)

Summary: The Crown Prince of Erebor faces the dilemma of losing his heart to a lovely yet humble palace servant.

Word count: 2.4 k

Content: Fluffy, tropey romance and comfort, Durins Live AU, post-BotFA, class division, love confession, Pining Prince Fíli

Rating: General (no warnings apply)

To Read on AO3: Link

Dedication and Inspiration: Thank you to the Anon who inspired this concept long ago by sending me this message! <3

Also for my friend, @guardianofrivendell, a true Fíli aficionado with an incredible repertoire of fics of our beloved Dwarf Prince. You probably don't remember, but this fic fulfills the "Love Confessions" request you made from my Valentine Event in 2023! Better late than never? Welcome back! <3

Cinder Girl 

The Reclaimed Kingdom of Erebor

Third Age 2945

What to do, what to do? The proper thing, of course. The decision should be that simple, and it usually was so for Fíli.  

Except now. Except when it came to her. 

The young dwarf lord tugged on the beaded braid of his mustache and leaned forward in the cushioned bench on which he sat. He made a motion to stand, only to plop back down again with a frustrated grunt. He had been dithering that way for the last ten minutes, at least. 

And he had spent twice as long sitting there, only half ashamed of allowing himself to enjoy the sight that surprised him when he returned to his chambers following a day-long council meeting. 

I am just looking, is all, Fíli reminded himself, desperate to excuse his poor manners. He knew the right thing to do would be to gently wake her, assure her that she was in no trouble, and allow her to discreetly exit the room she should never have been caught in. 

Surely this was a sign. A gift from Mahal himself, to force his stubborn, weak arse into action. Yet there he was again, he who was hailed as the Lion of Erebor, one of the bravest warriors in the kingdom, just sitting there stupidly, staring as he always did, because he could never find neither strength nor courage to do anything else in the presence of this dwarrowdam that stole the very breath from his lungs. 

Even as she lay there on the lush fur rug by the fireplace, in a cozy warmth that likely had lulled her to sleep, her presence paralyzed him. She was that very rare gem, found only once in a generation, exquisite in itself without need for cutting or polishing, or settings of gold, or other fine stones to accompany it. 

"Beyond beautiful," Fíli thought, and his chest filled with both longing and wonderment of how utterly she had ensnared him with so little effort, with such little awareness of the effect she caused.

She had dazzled Fíli the moment she cast her first smile and first spoke his name, and from then on the prince was blind to all others. When she laughed, Fíli finally understood why his brother Kíli constantly acted the fool just to earn that sweet sound from his own lady’s lips.

And so Fíli neglected to mention the titles that accompanied his name, and as a result he was able to enjoy hours of conversations with the newcomer from the Blue Mountains, basking in her uninhibited laughter and open stories and playful touches.

But the ruse would not last even a month. When she finally discovered that the new “friend” who had welcomed her to Erebor was actually King Thorin’s heir, next-in-line to the throne of Durin, an invisible wall rose between them. She never laughed in the same way around him again. She remained friendly and kind, yes, but every action toward him was suddenly restrained by prim courtesy. Their once animated conversations were dampened by measured, cautious responses. Even her beautiful smile was dimmed by a strange sadness, as though the knowledge of his royal identity disappointed her. 

"Please, you don't have to…" he said, when he once tried to stop her from bowing to him as they passed each other in the hall. 

"It is only proper, my lord," she murmured, keeping her lovely eyes lowered to her feet, only doubling Fíli's frustrations. "I bid you a good day, Prince Fíli."

And she hurried away with her cleaning pail in tow, before Fíli could offer to help, before he could muster up the nerve to invite her to dinner, which was why he had come down to the servants’ hall in the first place. All he had succeeded in doing was send the tongues of the palace domestic staff wagging. 

Eventually Fíli's despair grew heavy enough that he sought Balin's counsel, daring not to broach the topic with the one person who could completely relieve him of his fear: that no future was possible between the Heir of Durin and a dwarf not only from a different clan, but without rank or advantages. 

Balin remained silent while Fíli laid out his entire predicament--during the prince’s impassioned speech, and a long while after. Too long, so much that the thoughtful calm Fíli usually admired in his sagacious old cousin only set his teeth on edge.

“I must say this is troubling news to hear indeed,” Balin finally spoke, tugging thoughtfully at his beard.

“Troubling?!” Fíli exclaimed. “How could you already deem it as such when you have not yet met her? What matters her lack of status when she is the sweetest and gentlest soul to ever bless me with her company?! That is, until she decided she could no longer tolerate my presence,” he amended glumly. 

“Calm yourself, boy.” Balin chuckled between sips of his ale. “You have only ever raved this passionately about very few things before, and never about a bonnie lass. For a moment I thought I might actually be speaking to Kíli.”

“That isn't close to either the comfort or counsel I was hoping for, Balin.”

“Harrumph. That is because I have neither of those things for you, lad! What you need is to be slapped back into your senses!” Balin shook a stout finger at the dwarf-prince. “Have you so little knowledge or faith in your Uncle that you could not bring this matter straight to him?”

Fíli drew back, eyebrows lifted in bewilderment. “I thought he would scoff at the frivolity of it, before declaring my desire for her as unsuitable.”

“Because the girl is common?” Balin snorted when Fíli nodded. “It would wound Thorin so deeply to hear this, that I shall not even bother repeating your words to him.” He reached across the dinner table to grip Fíli’s arm. “Your Uncle risked his life, risked everything to take back this Mountain for you, my boy. To give you the future that he felt you deserved. Do you think that future is all about gold?”

Balin smiled and slapped Fíli gently on his slack-jawed face. “It is about choice, and freedom. The freedom to chase whatever dreams you wish. Go and speak to Thorin. It appears there is much he needs to clarify about his expectations of you as the realm’s prince and his heir.” 

Fíli had genuinely intended to heed Balin’s advice to discuss things with his uncle. But after failing to quickly gain an audience with the chronically busy king, he let his nerves conquer him yet again, as he put off pursuing that conversation. And so day after day passed with him stuck in the plight of his own making… leading at last to that evening, when the source of his agony literally lay right before him inside his own chambers, demanding to be dealt with.

The more time passed with him just sitting and staring at the sleeping chambermaid, the longer each minute seemed to stretch, and the more ridiculous Fili felt in his inertness. 

Just when his frustration came to its peak, and he felt unable to tolerate himself any longer, the prince rose quietly and stepped towards the figure on the fur rug. 

A pounding knock barely gave him any warning before his chamber door swung wide open and Kili barreled inside. “Did you not say you were starving, brother? What is taking you so--??”

Kili stopped short, his wide-eyed stare darting between Fili and the lady that had stumbled to her feet, disheveled and disoriented. It was impossible to tell who looked more mortified by his arrival. 

“Have I… am I interrupting something?”

“I am so very sorry, milords!” the maiden blurted out. “I didn't mean to, I---I am so--!” Her ashen face suddenly colored by the violence of her embarrassment, she grabbed her cleaning pail from the hearth. The contents rattled inside the metal bucket, so badly did her hands shake as she gave a hasty curtsy to the royal princes.

“N-no, no wait, please… h-hold on for just a moment--” Fili began, when his tongue finally came unstuck from the roof of his mouth, but it was too late. She rushed across the room and straight out the open door without ever lifting her gaze off the ground. 

“Brother, I am sorry, I didn't know--”

Fili brushed aside the apology and scrambled past Kili to fly out into the hallway. Panic had broken through his earlier paralysis and suddenly he could not move fast enough, his body acting beyond the constraints of his judgment. 

He called after her; the sound of her name and his footsteps chased her down the empty corridor. But to Fili's dismay she did not stop or even slow down, and just as she was about to turn a corner and descend the stairs leading from the palace wing, a desperate shout escaped containment, partially strangled in the tightness of his throat, but still too loud to be ignored. 

“I love you, all right?! I love you!!”

The frantic clatter of the metal pail ceased, and all Fili could hear against the ensuing silence was the roar of his pulse beneath his ears. In several strides, he closed the distance to come before the maiden. She stayed rooted to the spot and motionless, apart from the heaving of her bosom as she chased her breath. 

“This was not how I wanted you to find out.” The calm in his own voice surprised Fili, as did the confidence that drove his words. “But I also do not wish to take it back. Hiding from the truth has gained me nothing but pain.”

“I appreciate your candor, milord, and I regret your pain.” She continued to address him, but her eyes remained firmly lowered towards her hands, white-knuckled in their grip around the pail handle. “But what am I to do with these fine words you offer? How can a peasant be worthy to receive the affections of a prince?”

“Worthy?” Fíli repeated in distaste. “What causes you to believe that you must be worthy to--?”

“You are the future King of Erebor.” She spoke loudly over him, as though she had not heard him at all, or was determined not to. “The blood of Durin the Deathless runs in you! I am just a nobody from a Broadbeam village in the Blue Mountains--” 

“I was born in such a village, same as my father!” Fíli cut her off with matching fervor. “And you are certainly not ‘just a nobody’ to me.”

Something in his words finally reached her, for at last she raised her bowed head ever so slightly, just enough for her gaze to meet his, and the tears that shimmered in her eyes wiped away the last of his hesitation.

“We are not different, ghivashel. Not in any way that matters.”

Her smile that bloomed at that word, one that proclaimed her more precious than any treasure in Erebor, revived a light in him that had gone out in the long weeks of her absence. 

When Fíli reached out to relieve her of the cleaning pail, she did not resist. Grasping her wrist, he rested her open hand upon his. He swept his thumb back and forth all across her palm, over the red scrapes and dirt-streaked calluses that made her all the more beautiful and admirable in his eyes.

“Not long ago, I spent each waking day with my face smeared in soot, my arms and hands burnt from the blaze of forge fires, aching to the bone after hours of back-breaking labor.”

He pushed up his tunic sleeve to show her: the patches of discolored skin from old burns, the countless scars that littered the entire length of his arm, almost to his elbow. 

“But I would always go to bed happy, and proud of my honest living, of the smith that I was.” He shook his head and corrected himself. “The smith that I am. Whatever titles and additional duties I may now carry as a consequence of my inheritance, I am still that same soot-covered dwarf.”

He sealed her hand between his two and lightly kissed the fingertips that peeked out from the cage of his palms.

“All I ask is for a chance to show you that,” he said softly. “With the hope that you might come to love what you see in me. For I have already, absolutely, fallen in love with everything I see in you.”

Her silence filled the entire length of the passageway, all the way up to the high ceilings. Under the crushing weight of its persistence, Fíli’s hope started to falter. But as the fear of his failure to convince her started to creep in, his grip all the more tightened around her hand. He couldn't let go. He did not know how he could ever let her go.

“From the first day we met,” she finally spoke. “I already loved everything I saw in you…Fíli of the Blue Mountains.” She tipped her chin up and squared her shoulders, face set with resolution alongside her gentle smile. “I think that love can bring me the courage I need to let the other side of you, Prince Fíli of Erebor, into my heart as well.” 

Fíli’s entire being swelled with such relief and unbridled joy he thought he might catch flame. His arms found themselves around her waist, drawing her close to his desire to demonstrate the feelings he had restrained for too long.

Alas, a sudden and deafening crash rang through the hall to cut off Fíli’s eager quest.  “Sorry, sorry!” yelped a guilty voice in the shadows.

Fíli groaned, then chuckled, and settled for another chase kiss upon his lady’s hand. 

“Would you care to have dinner with my brother and I?” he asked her, nodding in the direction of the ruckus as Kíli struggled to straighten up the decorative suit of armor he had knocked over. “An unrepentant snoop he may be, but I can assure you he is otherwise harmless and actually quite pleasant company.”

“It sounds like a wonderful start to getting to know the rest of you,” she said, eyes bright from their shared laughter, free of even a speck of her earlier doubts. “Because I very much would like to know everything, Fíli. To discover and delight in every wonderful bit of you.”

“And you shall have that,” Fíli vowed, brushing his thumb over the curve of her cheek, over an ashy mark of the fireplace cinders that had brought her back to him. “You already do have me, but I shall also endeavor to give the whole world to make you happy.”

“You are already the whole world,” she declared, and rose on her toes to do what he could not, sealing their confessions with a sound kiss.

For more SotWK Fanfiction: Fanfiction Masterlist

Other useful links:

Introduction to SotWK

Headcanon Masterlist

[gunsatthaphan]

✌🏻✨ ~ 2023 wrap-up ~ ✨✌🏻

another year gone, another post no one asked for djkghdf

I normally don't talk about personal stuff on here but like in the previous year I wanted do a little recap and give shoutouts to some lovely people 🧡

It hasn't been an easy year for me, I started a new job which has been stressful and annihilated my work-life balance which resulted in me being sick a lot & just being stressed for most of the year lol. I barely found time to maintain this blog which may not seem like it on the outside since I somehow managed to frequently post but it's been difficult. I know I don't have to be online 24/7 but the fear of slipping into irrelevancy due to lack of content remains. I didn't have much time to watch bls & asian shows in general which I still consider my safe space and escapism so I'm resentful that I didn't get to fully take in and enjoy the things I'm passionate about and make content about them like I did in the previous years. That being said thank god for all the weekend shows that I did manage to watch and fully focus on like Only Friends and now Cooking Crush and Cherry Magic. Those have been life savers lol and also thank god for all the talented creators who gave us tons of content; I will mention some of them below.

But aside from my personal schedule and despite not watching a lot of stuff, I still tried to keep an eye on what's going on in the BL world for my monthly breakdowns, which I still enjoy making and I will likely continue them in 2024. I also came to the conclusion that 2023 ended up being another rendition of quantity > quality in the BL-verse so not much has changed lol - not that I expected it to. We got a wild and extended mix of different genres and subgenres this year which was nice to see. We saw companies & actors experimenting a lot (with varying results), we got new ships, new fandoms and new enemies, as well as a variety of comebacks and retirements. My watchlist this year was limited to Thai BLs and my blog mostly consisted of gmmtv related content and like I said, if I had had more time I probably would have explored more different shows - but I eventually resorted to what's familiar. I guess I needed an anchor in midst of all my personal chaos lol.

But despite my short list, there were a few gems that I enjoyed. The big ones like Only Friends, Moonlight Chicken, Be My Favorite, etc., and the small, less popular ones like Be Mine Superstar, Mission Fan Possible and a few more. I enjoyed talking to friends & making content about them in the limited timeframes I had. My opinions mostly matched those of the general public but unfortunately there were a few disappointments that were bathing in a success that I could not wrap my head around - Dangerous Romance and A Boss and a Babe being at the top of that list, followed by La Pluie and also a few of the lakorns I watched. But anyway.

Anyone who knows me knows my blog has been 83% FirstKhao this year lmao, they're my favorite people in this industry and watching them act, interact & making content about them has been one of my highlights. I'm excited to see what 2024 brings for them and even if it's not a series, I'm looking forward to seeing what else they will be up to 🥺 🐈‍⬛ 🐈

I'm going into 2024 with mixed feelings but above all I hope I will get the chance to expand my watchlist a little. I will post a personal top10 of the shows I watched this year shortly; until then I want to talk a bit about some lovely people this year - I’m not good with words lmao but thank you for being you and making this hellsite a better place 🥹 lol.

@leonpob - bestie!!! 🧡 our BL opinions have drifted apart this year lmao but who's to say friendships are solely based on mutual opinions. You're the best, stay the way you are and here's to another year of sharing thoughts and hopefully finding more shows to watch together (no matter if trash or not lol) 😉😘  @mayalunas - ahhhh I loved talking to you sooo so much this year, we agree on so many things that I'm convinced we share the same BL braincells lmao. You're one of my favorite people on this website, thank you for being such a good listener and a positive & supportive person to talk to 🥺 I hope you have the best 2024!!! ily!!! 🧡 @khunvegas - GURL idk where you went this year or if you still exist sdjkds but just know I haven't forgotten about you and I miss our talks 🥺 come back pls thank. @my-wandering-rabbit - I love our random out-of-context talks once a month lmao, I appreciate you and I hope we will continue our ritual of me watching shows and you asking me questions without watching them kjsdhg @bl-recs-and-reviews - Bestie!!! I love our catch-ups on Discord, you were one of the first people I ever talked to like 4 years ago? crazy. look at us. I still love you, you're the sweetest and I love talking to you 🧡🥺 @dreamedofyou - ahh I absolutely love your blog!!! I noticed you a lot in my notifications this year so I wanted to say thank you so much for interacting with my unhinged content (mostly FK related lmao) - We haven't talked a ton but I think of you as a very nice person and I hope we can talk more next year 🥹🫶🏻

and then of course some more shoutouts go out to all the wonderful and talented creators out there; I will never be able to tag all of you so sorry in advance but here are a few that I appreciate, some of which have also mentioned me in their wrap-up posts so thank you for that!!!

@taeminie @seatawinan @loveisactivated @forcebook @jimmysea @guzhu-furen @daymork @itsallaboutbl @seatawinans @blneobin @blmpfff @wanderlust-in-my-soul @pranpat @milkpansa @raypakorn @ahxu-laowen @forcebookish @forcebookcorner @morkofday @chinzillas @seajimmy @dimpledpran @i-got-the-feels @bengiyo @benkaaoi @25shadesoffebruary @moonkhao @smittenskitten @respectthepetty @earthfluuke @pharawee @khaotunq @khaotunqs @pranink @gabrielokun @piningintrovert @zhaozi @markpakin @firstkanaphans @firstforkhao @khaotungsfirst @wen-kexing-apologist @firstkpp @firstmix @bunnakit @khaothanawat @alienwlw @ffirstkhao (I can't tag the last 4 for some reason..)

have the best 2024!!!

🧡🧡🧡

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Saturday wonderful fandom :) Ahhh the next in the line of goodies to come. This one doesn’t have a ton for them but doesn’t mean there isn’t absolute gems in it. So it'll be a littler shorter than the last one ha Also Aaron is amazingly hilarious in this episode. I love him to death. Let us get started.

5x09 Take Back

We start off with Tim being Watch Commander while Grey is miserable in NYC ha Things get immediately awkward when Chris arrives. Still clueless as ever asking Tim of all people about Lucy’s taste in houses. I mean if you don’t know her taste at this point should you really be buying a house together? Tim looks intrigued when he says he needs his opinion then it gets so awkward when it's about a house...

Tim is so very uncomfortable when he asks his opinion. Knowing this is going NOWHERE for Chris. I’ll never forget this hilarious post I saw about this scene after it premiered. I couldn't find it this time around. Had the lyrics from anti-hero by Taylor swift. ‘It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem it’s me.’ You ain’t ever getting that house with her because of that man sitting there LOL Idk why that post made me laugh so hard but it did. It stuck with me clearly haha

It’s so very weird Chris comes to Tim for this. It's obvious he knows Tim knows her the best. Crazy to me he's not threatened at all by that fact. Clearly he isn’t if he’s coming to Tim for advice. Blows my mind how blind he is. Lucy comes in asking what they’re talking about? Chris tells her he found THE house. Lucy looking as uncomfortable as ever at this news. Saying he's going to call the realtor and call her later. Lucy's high pitched 'I can't wait...' Couldn't be more awkward if she tried.

He gives her a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Tim giving that good ole fake Sanford smile when he does. Tim's face crack me up. Like he stole your girl and you have no idea you putz heh Also just so on brand for Chris to not see how uncomfortable Lucy was. He’s been blind their entire relationship It’s unreal. You can also see how much Tim hates seeing him kiss her. Even if it’s on the cheek.

It’s almost a grimace really as he watches it. Probably thinking of all the ways he could easily kick his scrawny ass haha That fake smile begging for Chris to leave the room so this awkwardness can pass. How Chris doesn’t pick up on either of these vibes I don't know. But then we call him the clueless clown for a reason don’t we?

Lucy doesn’t look comfortable till Chris leaves the office. Tim asking 'How the breakup is going?' HA Cleary it's going well Timothy...Lucy tells him she’s in the planning stages. Just reviewing the literature. Classic Lucy response. Wanting to plan this out completely before pursuing it. Tim telling her a psychology journal isn’t going to tell her how to break up with Chris. I mean he's not wrong.... It's just a bandaid you have to rip off even if its uncomfortable as hell.

He’s so matter of fact with his wording. Using a sports metaphor to explain how she should do it. Makes me wonder if he's actually done this before? Ha She’s adorable in her reply of saying ‘Playbill?’ She truly has no idea what he’s talking about. It’s too funny. It's comical really Tim giving her advice on how to break up with Chris. So you know he can date her haha

Tim has been very patient in all this but you can see him getting a little antsy about it. It is interesting how full circle this moment is. He set them up in 4x12 and now he’s ready to help break them down in this 5x09. Tim is just so ready for Lucy to do this cause he’s anxiously waiting to be with her. It’s pretty damn cute if you ask me. He’s trying to be patient but also is like can we hurry this along a bit?

Lucy says that’s too cruel she wants to handle it her way. No matter how this goes down Chris is going to be hurt though. It's how breakups go there is alway someone who walks away more upset about it. Her empathy taking the front seat in this decision. Where Tim just wants her to rip the bandaid off. Get this over with ASAP.

This is where we see little bit of Tim’s self doubt kick in. It's written all over his face when he asks her if she's having doubts? Worried she’s delaying this because she is having second thoughts about him. About them. Lucy immediately squashes his anxiety with her reply. Shooting massive heart eyes his way as well. She wants Tim to know she’s all in just like he is. That there is nothing for him to worry about.

I love how sure Lucy looks when she tells him 'No, I'm not'. She is so certain this is what she wants. Needs him to know this as well. Not a doubt in her mind about this whole thing. She just has stuff to work out with this breakup first. The certainty in her eyes is everything. Nothing makes more sense to her in this moment than him.

That confidence of hers is why Tim relaxes the way he does above. His whole body draining of the tension he was carrying. His cute smile saying ‘Good.’ Could this man be more of a soft puppy for her? Look at him. That hope and excitement back in his eyes. Lucy replying in kind with her own 'In love 'gaze. They’re both all in and it makes my heart very happy. Also they’re having a full on flirt session in Grey’s office for everyone to see.

I adore Tim being so open and vulnerable in this scene. Making sure she wasn’t backing out. The same Tim who couldn’t communicate in his other relationships to save his life. But with this he is checking in with her. Letting Lucy know his stress about her not breaking up with Chris yet. Lucy assuages his worries instantly. When it’s the right one the harder stuff seems a little easier. More natural. Lucy sensed that panic and instantly calms him with her words and heart eyes. Gah so good. Look at these idiots in love. I just adore them so very much.

This next scene with Aaron is pure gold. I love him so much he cracks me up. Never expected him to be as funny as he is. He notes how quiet she is being and is asking what's going on? Lucy letting him know she needs to break up with Chris. First off like to say we are all Aaron when he says ‘Finally.’ To her breaking up with Chris. Yesssss and Hallelujah finally breaking up with the clown. Nails it even further when he says Chris was never on her level. I mean yeah he never was. Not ever.

Aaron is speaking for the whole Chenford fandom in this moment LOL Chris had nine lives with her and they've finally run out. Aaron's reaction is the best part of this scene. I love that he knew where Lucy's heart was and it obviously wasn't with Chris. He knows it’s with Tim 100 percent. Like most people in their world do. Tim is her equal in so many ways it’s insane. Chris could never compare as Lucy figured out last ep.

Aaron tells her they can practice her breaking up with him. So it’s much easier when the time comes. It’s not a bad idea tbh. This is where it gets hilarious. Lucy brings up them looking at houses. Aaron kinda judging her for letting get as far as looking at houses. Telling her 'Yikes....' HA Tell us how you really feel my man. Lucy reprimanding him saying that is not helpful....Oh Aaron I love you so very much.

Lucy starts her speech trying to find her footing in what she is trying to say. She looks over at Aaron in the middle of it and see he is crying. lol If you didn't laugh at this scene you're dead inside. It's so damn funny. Lucy asking him WTF he is doing? Aaron telling her he is channeling Chris's pain LMFAO I mean he's not wrong she had to be prepared for an emotional response. It's just the way he went about this that is so hysterical. He is having way too much fun with this.

Telling her they should do angry next. I'm rolling. Lucy is doing some channeling of her own. She is channeling her man in this scene. It’s so funny. So aggravated with his role playing in this. Wondering why she asked for his advice in the first place? hahaha They then get a call about a 'Navi'. Lucy is so confused. Aaron geeks out and says it's from Avatar. Tells Lucy she should ask if it’s full grown. The look she gives she is channeling her husband again so much. ‘Aaron, it’s a fictional character...’ LMAO

I really love this ending scene with them. Aaron wants to do one more practice run with her. Lucy tells him she doesn’t need it. (Oh but you do....) That she’s just going to go with her gut on this one. It sounds like a solid idea in the moment but it's honestly the worst thing to wing it. Especially when it's something this intense.

When something is this emotional the right words tend not to just come to you IMO. They sure don't for me. I love him being brutally honest with her about it LOL Saying it’s a terrible idea. That he likes the sentiment but this isn't going to end well. I mean he’s not wrong as we will see here in a bit. Lucy once again channeling Tim in this moment. Cutting him off from saying anything else and just tells him good night haha

We get to the breakup scene we’ve all been waiting for. Lucy is bumbling and awkward. Not knowing where to start. Chris once again blind as a bat. He has no idea why she’s acting this way. Lucy curses Aaron for being right about this moment. Saying she should practiced more LOL I adore her panicking and defaulting to Tim’s playbook advice haha idk what’s funnier that or her being shocked Chris knows what she means by saying that.

All that prep and thinking this out and she went with her man’s advice on how to end this. This makes me giddy to no end. I bet you it’s cause Tim was on her mind from the minute Chris entered the apartment. My guess is that is part of the reason she fell back on his advice. Literally the most Lucy Chen thing ever to use it then be surprised Chris knew what she meant. I love her sfm haha

Chris stumbles around shocked as hell she’s breaking up with him. He seems so very blindsided by the whole thing. I mean if the man opened his eyes for once he wouldn’t be that shocked…But this Chris we are talking about. Lucy tries to get him to talk to her more. Saying they should sit down and talk this out. Chris just bails not wanting to talk at all. Not wanting to fight for her at all. Just takes off like a child who didn't get what he wanted.

Now I’m ok with this. Obviously we all are. Just goes to show you Tim was willing to fight for her and Chris wasn’t in the end. Lucy said it was over and he just left. I mean he wasn’t wrong there isn’t much to talk about out. She doesn’t love him. But still no fight in him at all after Lucy does this. Just folds like a cheap suit. A clueless clown from beginning to end...

We’ve reached the scene of the ep that made us all swoon and squee. I remember feeling so anxious to get to this scene. I had to re-watch the episode to truly appreciate it all. I was too antsy to get back to them sharing a screen. I was so damn giddy this was the place we were in. They spent the majority of this episode apart. So all I could focus on was her coming back to him in this moment.

I adore Lucy coming back into the station to talk about the breakup right away. Needing to share this news with him as soon as she could. I love that she returned to work just to tell him about this. So anxious to get back to Tim after it was done. Lucy wanted him to know as soon as she could it was over with Chris. Knowing he was just as anxious as she was about the breakup. It's sweet how he tentatively approaches her when she says why she is back.

He wants to be understanding about it. Seeing if she wants to talk about it more. Doesn't just want to jump the gun and bulldoze her feelings about the matter. Lucy isn't there to chat about that though. She wants to cash in on him asking her out. Because she couldn’t wait another second without him asking her out again. They're both so damn nervous and sweet in this scene. Fidgety and excited about the prospect of their future. Lucy messing with her hands the entire time as she explains the breakup. Tim keeping his distance while she explains it.

Gah I love her fidgeting near her ring as she approaches Tim. Anxiously awaiting for him to ask her out again. Lucy’s nervous way of reminding him to ask her again like they decided. How she looks into the bullpen before approaching Tim. Saying ‘So…’ He looks nervously excited by her doing this. Eric the king of expressions strikes again. The way his eyes go to check the bullpen as well before refocusing on her. He isn't sure what she is going to do in this moment.

The entire station can see into this office. He looks so friggin cute in his nervousness. I love that that she makes him nervous like this it's so adorable. Lucy gains her confidence and looks him directly in the eye flirty as can be. Asking him if there's something he wants to ask her? The whole purpose of her returning to work is to secure their date. Telling him about the breakup was the catalyst yes. But truly she was wanting to hear him ask her out again.

Tim see's her confidence and starts shaking off his own nerves. Replying in a sassy manner. Their banter the undercurrent of this moment going forward. Fueling them with the courage to say what they want to. Tim can't help being playful and sassy with her replying ‘I can’t remember.’ Doing that cute smirk of his that I love so very much. Wanting to push her buttons a little because well it's Tim.

Lucy is affectionately violent in her reply haha Look at her she is beaming with adoration. She loves this goober in front of her so very much. ‘Don't make me hurt you.’ Because she would legit hurt him if she had to in this moment haha I saw a funny parallel from this to her ripping that tape off in 4x07. She'll do it Timothy LOL Don't test your girl.

I love how he gets serious after she says this. It's the way he slowly moves towards her. That intent look on his face in the first one. *fans self* gah. Then in the second one the way he melts for her. In a way only Lucy gets to see. Asking with as much giddiness and excitement as I ever seen in this man. "Do you wanna go out on a date? Look at this puppy of a man. He is beyond excited to ask her this question again. Knowing now he will get a yes with no stipulations this time around. There is still a little nervous hesitation in his delivery which is precious.

Lucy is bursting at the seams with absolute giddiness when she replies ‘Yeah. I do.’ So happy he's asked her again. How one looks when the man they love asks them out. There’s so much to love about this scene. He’s asking her out in the Watch Commanders office. I love that sfm. Both ecstatic they’re finally going on a date with nothing holding them back now. They’re at work and have to restrain themselves from being too obvious. Which you know they suck at heh

My god anyone looking in on them in that last gif could see how in love these two are. They're so excited just to be around each other right now. The way they’re just standing there looking into each other’s eyes with the dopiest in love smiles. I cannot. I remember thinking the break was gonna take forever to get through. What a time to be alive watching this the first time I remember. LOL

~~~

Side notes -non Chenford

Is it just me or does John have more chemistry with Genny than he does Bailey? Thought I’ve always had from this ep. Probably just me but I always thought they had solid chemistry.

Greys have a ROUGH SL in NYC.

Celina also has a hard time in the ep. With their suspect dying in custody. She has a tough rookie year.

[sindar-princeling]

(I was wondering for a while if I should edit this post to be neater, or erase the things I've already said, but after all I decided to keep it just as it was, because over the past few months I was adding more and more thoughts to it as I edited, and I wanted to keep them that way, unedited and just the way they came to me. so here are some thoughts I had while editing the newsletter)

editing LOTR to go chronologically felt like constantly finding some hidden gems that can only be found when you read that way, and wondering if they were put there intentionally (and knowing jirt, they most probably were). it was a truly, deeply special experience, and a unique way of experiencing LOTR to me

there are so many fragments where jirt says what happens after everything! the ponies were okay, Pippin cried when he heard horns after the battle of Pelennor fields for years to come, even the prologue reveals some information about who survived the War

the long breaks in Rivendell and Lórien were very interesting in this format. some people were remarking how they liked thinking about the fellowship just chilling during those breaks, and I think it created a nice effect of both the characters and us forgetting how close the danger is for them. it let us take those breaks with them!

the only part of the quest that doesn't have a date assigned to it takes part in Lórien, it's the one where Frodo and Sam sing about Gandalf. and it's SUCH a good detail! Tolkien kept track of every event, of dates and even times of day for the entire duration of the quest, but this fragment is just Somewhere There, because in Lórien time seems to stand still, and you can never know when you are

the only other fragments which are confusing time-wise take place during the dark days with no sun, which is of course a great writing choice, but even they are described in Appendix B - the Lórien fragment has no date, no reference point, nothing

it doesn't hit you that much when you read the book, but the battle of Helm's Deep happened literally just one (1) week after the breaking of the Fellowship. Aragorn was out there having the Worst Week Of His Fucking Life

I loved feeling the impact of certain events more while reading chronologically (the three hunters running for days made more impact on me when I was sending yet another entry and they were still running)

before actually going through TTT and ROTK, I was preparing for very long entries for each day. but after the Tower of Cirith Ungol and the Battle of the Pelennor Fields (March 15th), the next ten days before the Ring is destroyed are so... empty in comparison. and it works amazingly well when you read according to dates. we hear just enough from Aragorn and the Host of the West to let the tension grow and grow. we hear just enough from Frodo and Sam to feel the oppressive atmosphere of these entries. but on the other hand, the entries are short enough to set our imaginations to work and make them fill in the rest. to me it's the perfect balance of the horror you read about and the horror you know is still there even after you close the book. this is what I mean by hidden gems, because it works that well only when you read day-by-day - in the book those fragments are just a few pages long, and you can get through those ten days very fast. but when you read according to dates, the torment is spread over so much time

the previous point is why I loved seeing the pacing in LOTR this way. in LOTR, so much can happen in ten days; and yet so little happened between march 15th and 25th besides fear and suffering

there was one part that gave me a headache because I spent so long trying to figure it out I forgot to eat - March 10th-14th in the Frodo and Sam subplot. it was a huge relief when I opened my atlas of Middle-earth and found its author Karen Wynn Fonstad had the same doubts when she'd been researching for the book that I did (and also that she arrived at the same conclusion).

apart from the March 11th-14th fragments, the most challenging day to edit was March 15th because Everything Happened So Much, and many things - simultaneously. it was a choice between chopping certain fragments into really small bits or sacrificing the impact of certain scenes

the only thing I'm sad about losing in this format is the ending, because Frodo getting ill and leaving Middle-Earth in fall, the same season as when he first set out, brackets the plot of LOTR such a beautiful and heartbreaking way and underlines one last time that "there and back again" is never really just that - you always end up somewhere else than where you started

[eliyips]

I found out how to use anonymous asks so now I'm here complimenting all of my favorite artists

I LOVE THE WAY YOU DRAW X, he looks so much like a cool dad /pos

Also the one with X & Evil X as nice and naughty cats is amazing. And the art with Tango as cheese is so funny

THE D&D X ART IS SO COOL TOO, I LOVE IT. There's so much detail in your art. I'm in awe

I'm kind of going back and forth between your art right now. BUT THE TRADITIONAL ART IS SO COOL. ESPECIALLY THE ONE FOR X'S HELMET. THE 3D HELMET IS SO AMAZING. I COULD STARE AT IT FOR HOURS. I COULD STARE AT ANY OF YOUR ART FOR HOURS ACTUALLY

YOU DESERVE SO MUCH RECOGNITION FOR THE AMOUNT OF DETAIL YOU PUT IN. Like the rock walls in the X & Tango art, OR THE POTIONS TOO. They're so mystical and cool looking. RED LIFE GEM LOOKS AMAZING TOO, THE HAIR IS SO DETAILED

THE LIGHTING FOR THE ART OF MUMBO DYING IN LAVA. I CAN'Y EVEN DESCRIBE IT BECAUSE ITS JUST SO AMAZING. Grian's body language just adds to it as well!

There's just so much art I could compliment but I feel like I would be writing a whole essay if I did because all of your art is amazing

(Also I love the Etho art when he wins phase 3 of Decked Out but that's probably because Etho is my favorite lol)

Anyways, I hope you have a great and amazing day/night! \o/

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY SWEET??? 🥹 augh!??

Seriously just blown away right now, thank you so much, I'm so glad you like my art!!! Always love hearing people notice the little details I put in <3

I haven't actually posted the Evil X and Xisuma image to Tumblr yet, but since you mentioned it, I will take this opportunity to share 🙏 they are so cat coded to me

anon u are a kind and wonderful soul... Thank u again for this ask, i will treasure it forever...

[popcornforone]

Strawberries On a Summer Evening

A Din Djarin Fan Fic

So turns out I’ve never written smutty Din. I’ve always had him soft or built up to him & this was never going to be smut & then the idea happened & I was like ahhh I need that. Also someone posted some art of Grogu eating strawberries on insta so it fell right into my lap.

Synopsis:- Grogu is excited the first strawberries of the season are ripe. You’re just excited your Mandalorian will be home for a few weeks.

Word Count:-3800

Warnings:- DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! Unprotected PIV sex, established relationship, food & sex, cum play, nipple play, fingering, squirting, pdoa, fantasy’s, swearing, the helmet comes off. A small amount of violence & concern but nothing major or hurting any characters.

Enjoy peoples, this has been a lot of fun to write. Thanks for the read

Your little hut on the out skirts of the village is perfect. You are still apart of the community but you are hidden away. It makes it easier for your partner to come & go & for the villagers to not ask questions. You scratch their backs & they scratch yours. They weren’t happy when your clan arrived to settle but 48 hours later you were no longer strangers welcomed with a friendly smile when they realised having a Mandalorian living on their outskirts would actually keep them safe. As a daughter of a former senator, before the fall of the empire, you have a way of getting people to do what you want & it wasn’t long before the little hut you’d found was transformed for your clan to live in.

It’s early summer & you have a little vegetable & fruit patch. All the kids are amazed once every 10 days, when you bring the fresh fruit & veg to them in the town. They do grow their own but there is something about the soil a bit further out that’s more nutritious than theirs. Probably not farmed for the last hundred years & also isn’t affected by the swamp. Your face lights up one morning as you eat your breakfast as you see a red gem.

“Grogu…”

“PATU?” He replies & you rub his head & lift him up to the window sill.

“Look strawberries” he does an excited gurgle & automatically sticks his hand out to use the force, to get something to eat. You quickly grab his wrist & lower it.

“No no no Grogu” he looks at you with sad eyes. “We need to check they are ripe first & then we can go & pick some. I can make you some strawberry jam or milk?” He bounces & coos. “Good boy, let me get properly dressed & then we can go look”

Turns out only 2 were ripe that day, but you knew the rest wouldnt be too far off, so you & Grogu ate the two you picked. His lips bright red afterwards, desperately wanting another.

“Let’s keep this between us Grogu, we don’t want dad to think he missed out…”

“What did I miss out on?” Comes the modulated voice behind you & you leap up. He has a soft chuckle when he sees the state of Grogu. “Ahhh, couldn’t wait huh”

“There was only two”

“It’s okay, i can cope but i get the best strawberry next time” Grogu huffs understanding Dins word looking sad, he then also looks away as you hug him & kiss his helmet.

“Missed you”

“Missed you too, but I’m home now for the next few weeks so…” & the click under the helmet echos in the room. You automatically shut your eyes like you used to before you swore alligance to him. His gloved thumb rubs your cheek. “It’s okay remember you can now see me” & as your eyes open you automatically stare into those big brown eyes, you still get butterflies every time you look at his face, he really has no idea how handsome he is. But you make sure to let him know as your lips embrace his. He moans for once not you. “Hmm that strawberry does taste good, almost as good as you” he then chuckles & you turn around still holding onto him & his beskar & you see Grogu has his hands over his eyes. You’re not sure if he doesn’t want to see his dads face or the two of you embracing. You both suspect the latter.

8 days later Din & you are woken up to the sound of laughter, & items of clothes you would usually wear being thrown at you using the force. You’re in bed & your lush dream has been disturbed.

“Grogu” Din groans & sits up just in time to grab his helmet which was being thrown at him. “Grogu stop” it’s firm voice & he stops. He’s on top of the wardrobe in the corner of the room & he looks sad that his dad has yelled at him. You’re now fully awake, when Din uses that voice on you it’s arousing & he’s often got an ungloved hand around your throat, asking you to behave for your master.

Din gets up & gets Grogu off the wardrobe & sits him in between the two of you in bed, you’ve pulled the cover over you. Din & you had a very passionate night last night & your naked under the sheet. Din didn’t care that he got up to move Grogu in his birthday suit. He may still not show his face to others but all the while it’s just the 3 of you in the house he doesn’t care what is seen. The shy hidden away man who was (& still is to a small extent) a mystery, is now much calmer & free, less pressures in life with the occasional job.

“What is it Grogu?” You ask softly. He gargles & points out of the bedroom window. In the garden there is now a large number of ruby red strawberries waiting to be picked. You yawn & softly rub his head. “Yes strawberries, but we need to make sure they are okay first” his face drops when you say this. “But I’m sure they are” a smile creeps across his face. You then look at Din & smile as he’s slid back into bed & is stroking your bare back getting your long ginger hair out of the way, your spine tingling.

“Morning beautiful” he says as he leans over Grogu, to cup your face & slowly & sensually starts to make out with you. You moan in reply & the sudden intimate moment has Grogu leaping off the bed & running out of your room, probably to where his cot is. Not wanting to see what his Dads going to do.

“That worked” you giggle & then gasp as his thumb goes under the bedding & starts to rub your clit.

“& I know this does too”

“Fuck Din” you groan as his fat fingers slowly enter you & then after a few pulses he strums you quickly. Everything squelching. Your body trembling. You’re still sensitive from last night & you cum & bite into his bottom lip a few minutes later.

“God baby, your soaking” he says as he sucks his fingers clean.

“I’m already for one more round Din” you pant as you pull him on top of you. Your hands ruffle through his hair & as he lines himself up, you both hear a crash.

“Grogu!” You both shout in unison. Din automatically grabs his blaster & you grab the Barton he gave you & wrap yourself in the bed sheet. Both concerned for the kid & that someone might be in your house. Din also put on his helmet but nothing else so no one will see his face. You both enter the kitchen where the noise was & see that it’s just Grogu who has been using the force to get to the large bowl for collecting strawberries. He just didn’t realise he would knock stuff over as it came towards him.

“Kids hey… who’d have them” Din chuckles.

After making breakfast & you both getting dressed & trying to calm Grogu down, you eventually get in the garden & Grogu bounces to the first little bush. Din sighs as he puts on his helmet. As much as you do live a little away from the village, it’s a lovely sunny & warm day. Kids often run around flying past your little hut & he doesn’t want anyone else to see his face. The rest of his beskar is safety locked always except for his blaster, it’s in his holster. He’s in a grey tshirt & some dark blue shorts. You’re in a nice flowing summers dress, extremly thin straps, easy for him if he didn’t have his helmet on for him to kiss your soft skin, even if it’s covered in sun lotion.

“PATU… PATU!!!!” Grogu bounces & point as he holds his little bowl. You kneel next to him & pick a nice big strawberry. He goes to take it but you hold it away from him. His face drops.

“Remember we promised that Dad could have the first one this time”

“I do believe it was the best”

“Din” yous scoff & he laughs softly his modulated laughs always arouse you. He takes the strawberry from your hand & softly lifts his helmet so he can take a bite.

“Mmmm I’m not gonna complain if they are going to be that good” he says finishing it. In that time of eating it & seeing Grogu get upset you have picked 5 strawberries for the little green bean.

“See Grogu” he faces you & his eyes light up seeing you put the 5 strawberries in his bowl. “We will only give you the best” he smiles & holds one asking for permission to eat it.

“Go on kid” Din says softly & Grogu slowly eats the strawberry. His eyes widen like he’s just tasted heaven.

After about 10minutes Grogu has got bored of eating & collecting strawberries. He’s seen a frog from the end of the garden & is now chasing after it to play.

“Well that’s got to be a record” Din says as you both continue to pick.

“At least we can actually get some strawberries inside now, I plan on making Jam with them & freezing a load for some icy drinks when the temperature rises even more” you reply.

“Clever girl” Din says & you pause. It’s arousing.

“Say it again”

“My sweet clever girl” the goosebumps rise all over your skin. His modulator makes him sound sexy but what would be even sexier would be to kiss his lip.

“Din if you keep going like that, we will be distracted too.” & then you hear the click & look up from your crouched position as you pick. The helmet comes off out in the open. “Din no” you fully get up & go to grab it but he pulls it towards him so you come too.

“Yes, it’s boiling in here, no kids seem to be around, & I only have eyes for you.” He puts his helmet on the little table you’ve set up outside which has two bowls of full strawberries on & then his large thumb brushes you hair from your face. “You’re my own little red gem of desire” those are all the words he needs. The way your mouths embrace each other, as you slowly start to kiss puts you both in a trance. Your tongues moving together. It’s sweeter than any strawberry as you stand in the field & make out. Your hands roaming over his broad shoulders before wrapping around his neck. His hand is around the back of your neck as the other rests on your waist. Small moans escape you both. This could be any couple in the world right now. You’re both so in love with this moment & each other.

“Oooh beautiful” Din softly whispers before going back in, both his hands now trail down your sides, your curves gently graced by his touch, they slowly slip under the hem of your floaty dress & grip onto your arse. “Ooh baby” his fingers get into the waist band if your panties. you know you’re probably going to be lying in this field in a minute as Din plunders you. You don’t care that you’ll be sneezing for days after being that close to plants & it to be so raw. No hay-fever tablet will be able to solve this type of pollen.

“Din im…” & then you catch out of the corner of your eyes the table wobble. Both you & Din freeze unable to do a thing. You both stand there & look as Grogu try’s to use the force to get the strawberries off the table. A few strawberries fall to the floor but soon the little bowl comes off the table & lands carefully in front of him. You both sigh in admiration as he tucks in. You’re all smiles as he coos but he’s clearly too excited. It makes him radiate & the force pulses around him, shaking the table as the remaining strawberries fall to the floor & then so does the beskar helmet.

“Grogu!” Din shouts & slides towards him so the helmet doesn’t hit him, skidding along the field, hands ready for the catch. But Grogu slowly turns the helmet upside down & carefully puts it next to him & then starts to use the force to put the strawberries inside the helmet.

“Ahhh so clever Grogu” you say as Din looks up at you. His knees now covered in muck. You then help Din up who starts complaining about his back. “We can put some strawberries in there, & it will keep them cool if we do this.” You lean into your bag that’s by the table & find a cool pack & put it inside Dins helmet. “See”

“PATU”

Din chuckles as Grogu starts eating another fruit.

“You’re so clever babe” he says & hugs you as you grab the first bowl. Din kisses your cheek & you’re almost as red as the strawberries.

“I’m gonna take these inside & freeze a few” you smile & turn to walk away. As you do this Din smack your bum & winks at you.

Grogu is now on his sugar rush crash. All that running about, eating fruit, playing games, & using for force has wiped him out. You stand there & watch as Din softly lays him down in his cot, kissing his head & putting his frog toy into bed with him, slowly removing his thumb that Grogu had been clutching.

“Night kid” he says as he turns on the purple nightlight for him, before turning around to look at you. The sun is setting & you have an orange haze around you from where the light is coming in from the window. As Din faces you he sighs & smiles before he walks up to you, his large hands trace over your soft skin. “Do you know how radiant you look daring”

“No, but I can see the desire in…” you don’t get the rest of your sentence out. He’s reengaging that kiss from earlier. You moan as he bites your lip desperate to feel more, desperately wanting to feel every inch of you.

“Go lie down beautiful I have an idea” he whispers into your ear. You slowly let go of him but do as Din asks & you lie on your bed waiting for him. Din walks through the bedroom door a few moments later with a bowl.

“Are those…”you look puzzled at what Din is holding.

“Some of the frozen strawberries yes”

“Din!”

“Can’t we have some fun? For once?”

“We always have fun…”

“You know what I mean” & he puts the bowl on your bed side table. He automatically clambers over you as you start to make out on the bed. Your hair he starts with his hands but he wants more that just that smooth touch. Soon your left leg is wrapped around his bum as his hand goes inside your skimpy dress, squeezing your own arse. His bulge growing as he rocks into you. A patient lover he is to start with before the inner bounty hunter comes out, & his bounty as always is for you to squirt as he cums. He loves the look of complete euphoria on your face as when this happens. it always makes him fuck you harder.

“Din” you moan as the dress finally comes off. He has been trying to get you out of it all day. Your skin colour bra quickly removed to before he latches on to your nipple. Sucking away, a few soft nips here & there at them have you making the sweetest noises. You get more vocal when the hand that was squeezing your bum, has moved your knickers to the side & two of those long fingers easily slit inside you. Thighs trembling already. You want him. He wants you, those shorts are struggling to contain that bulge. You’re pretty sure Din is commando, the outline has been obvious for most of the day.

“Fuck din, I’m gonna cum”

“I’m not stopping you honey” he lifts his head up to speak before licking your cleavage. The scream you make shakes the bed, as you cum. He’s too good with that trigger finger. You know it’s not a full squirt but you can feel how damp you are. You lean your head back into the bed & shut your eyes for a few seconds & then your eyes open wide at a new sensation by your sex.

“Din what the… oooh fuck” Your frozen in many ways. Din has taken from the bowl a frozen strawberry & has rubbed it against your clit all the way down to your core as he slowly removed his fingers & drizzed the frozen fruit in your cum. Your mouth drops open as you see Din sit up & lick & nibble at the strawberry.

“Heaven baby” he licks his lips & then takes off his shirt & shorts, you were right with your earlier assumption. He then strokes his length a few times, pre cum dribbling out, he slowly rubs his penis against your clit to lube it up, before he grabs another frozen strawberry & does the same again. He then shuffles up to you & rubs the strawberry against your lips. “Wanna taste sexy?” You nod & slowly open your lips. “Suck first I want you to enjoy this.” You do as din asks & do some slurping noises as you suck the cum covered strawberry, hoping you don’t end up with brain freeze & in a sex haze. As you do this Din finally takes off your knickers. “Did you enjoy that baby” you nod.

“Oooh fuck Din that was, ooooh fuck” you gasp as he pushes his penis deep inside you in two rocks. The man is patient but when you’re already looking that good & oozing with arousal he’s not gonna wait, he’s slowly rocking into you. His body already sweating. All of his mandalorian tattoos will soon be glistening more than his beskar on a sunny day.

“Fuck baby” he growls before reaching into the bowl grabbing another strawberry & rubbing it instead of his thumb against your clit. He moans deeply as you clamp him harder. “Wooo babe I need to save that for when I’m ready to cum baby, I almost filled you up right there.” You laugh back as you watch Din eat that strawberry, before he gets the next one. This one feels even colder as he trails is up your boiling body & eventually starts drawing around your nipples with them: they were already erect, but now, neither of you think you’ve ever seen them so hard before.

“Fuck din” you whimper as he moves faster, he’s deep inside you, each draw out thrust teasing you to cum. Wanting to drench him & the bed sheet.

“Ooh baby” his mouth can’t resist, looking at the red residue on your breasts. He laps away as his softly licks the strawberry juice which has been left. A Tongue that licks your cunt every night, now lapping away at a forbidden fruit. His large hand once he’s done engulfs one of your breast while he feeds you some frozen strawberries. No longer methodical his movements, yous pelvis responding. Each sensitive motion being meet by moans from you both when you aren’t tasting the Delights of life be it fruit or kisses.

Eventually as his pace notches up once more which means he know he’s gonna cum soon, he places the biggest frozen strawberry from the bowl in your mouth.

“Don’t cum yet beautiful” he says softly but then the lights come on behind those eyes. The sensitive patient lover is now a sexual god. Not missing the spot for the last few minutes, your senses in over drive with each thrust. It’s not going to be long for you either. He then softly grips your neck. You gag around the strawberry. You eyes light up.”Dont cum yet beautiful, only when I take this from you”. Your hand grips to the bedding as you gag at round the strawberry in your mouth, your eyes watering, you pleasure about to explode. He so deep inside you you feel everything is about to burst. “Eyes on me” he grows. He’s a man possessed his pace blistering as your thighs trembles he doesn’t look away, to him this is you at your most beautiful, “fuck” he groans as you whimper. You then see him dip his head & kiss up your chin, his grip a little firmer. He then bites into the top of the strawberry & nods.

You don’t hold back as he does this. You cum harder than you ever have before as he removes his hand at the same time & you spiral out of control, every part of you twitching in pleasure. Your toes curling up, as you gush. You can feels the wetness seeping out already, you know your squirting.

“Fuck Din”

“Oooh fucking fuck” he cry’s after he finishes the strawberry in his mouth & his own release arrives. Flooding you with his own cum, as he slowly come to a holt. That blistering pace now just about a few slow movements. He licks his lips getting all the berry goodness from them. His hand no longer griping your throat but moving your own sweaty hair from your face. Panting fills the room. Both your body’s glistening as your hands wrap around his shoulders. You’re holding each other not saying a word but just in a moment of silence & sheer bliss.

“Din” you whisper a few minutes later.

“Yes my love” he says & you just smile back & he softly giggles & turns bright red. “Did you just want me to call you my love?”

“Maybe” you blush too & he leans down to softly kiss you. He then looks at what’s left of the bowl of strawberry, now starting to be a sloppy defrosted mess.

“Hmm I’m guessing you not gonna turn that into jam?” He says as he slowly rolls off you & automatically becomes your big spoon, nuzzling his head into your sweaty hair, not caring that he’s lying in the wet patch from you both cuming.

“Well this certainly gives strawberries & cream” you giggle.

“Yes it does baby, & I’d like to keep trying that, everytime we have a picking session”

“I’m game if you are.”

“More than game baby” he says as he kisses your neck. His deep brown eyes sparkle mischievously “I have spoken”

[ivoryghostyy]

— meet Cirius

「 image is not mine. it's sourced from pinterest. 」

「 note: look who's back after not posting for idfk how long. but hey, here's a fic, plus a new layout! haha... i have so much to edit, but anyways, i hope y'all enjoy this little idea i've pulled straight out of my ass. man, i could not get it out of my head. so, uh, have fun ig. 'til next time. buh-bye! 」

「 tw: swearing, mentions/implications of violence, threatening, obsession, manipulation, etc. 」

—————————————————————————————————

human emotions are fickle, but for Cirius, they're practically a foreign concept. dull faces accompanied him wherever he went. they would bother him, talk to him, and feign interest. no mask, however, could completely cover the rotting desires humans hide.

it confuses him, really, but what can he do? if they entertain him, then playing along wouldn't hurt anyone. otherwise, he'd probably die of boredom. besides, he has a reputation to keep. lashing out would only destroy his own facade.

university wasn't doing him any good either, despite his well-maintained rank. he's perfect, and every single one of them could see that. they praise him, and they raise him onto a pedestal. it's nothing new, not interesting at all. his eyes don't spare any of them a glance.

so imagine his surprise when he comes across you. it was onky a brief moment—barely even a second—but he saw it. you weren't hidden in a shroud of grey clouds, you were the embodiment of the sun. your eyes sparkled brighter than any gem he had ever seen. and he's seen a lot of gems, so that says a lot.

you're.. different. and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't intrigued. how did he miss someone like you? he hummed, a finger tapping the fabric of his sleeve. a new student, perhaps? but why would anyone transfer so late into the year?

you scurried away before he could say anything. ah, he should have atleast gotten your name... but it's alright. his fingers weave through the soft knots of his light pink hair, a cold smile creeping onto his plush lips.

it doesn't take much to find you and your entire history. goodness, he should've found you sooner. you've been living like this for your entire life? you're barely able to keep yourselves afloat. he's exaggerating. the more he learns about you, and the more he watches you, the deeper he falls into the dark pit of obsession.

don't worry, he'll take care of everything. his darling wife deserves the best and only the best, after all. he'll talk to his parents and arrange a dinner with his future family-in-law your parents, throw in a few lies here, a few threats there, and it's smooth sailing towards your engagement.

surely, you'll agree, right? even if you don't, do you really have a choice? anything he wants, he will have. and you? you're no exception.

you pace through the bustling halls, weaving through the chattering human barricades as they march into another boring lecture. contrary to the relaxed pace of these students, however, you're scrambling to reach your own destination: the library.

since you're free for this period, you thought you'd take the time to look around the grand library. really, this is the only reason you tried so hard to get into such a prestigious school. your family wasn't well-off, but earn enough to keep a delicious meal on your plate and a sturdy roof above your head.

the polished doubledoors creak open, and without wasting another second, you're already scanning book-lined shelves. the forgotten book of herbal remedies, the book of lies, 101 ways to hide a body... wait, what?

deciding not to question it, you finally find a good novel to read. to nobody's surprise, it's dark romance because of course it is. happily, you sink into a comfy bean bag this makes me kinda jealous and lose yourself within the pages, ignorant to brown eyes watching your every move.

a shadow looms over you, and you barely have any time to react before you're pulled into a lean chest, arms wrapped securely around your waist.

"wh-"

"there you are, my precious wife!"

your brain is barely processing the situation. what is he talking about? who is he talking about? it takes a around a minute before you've pulled yourself back, landing not-so gracefully onto the bean bag that you were just sitting on a moment before.

"sorry, i think you may have the wrong person," you say, firmly.

you've never seen this man in your life, who the hell does he think he is? what did he call you? his wife? he better be joking. he's either mistaken or insane. probably the latter, hun. he's insanely in love with you.

"how could i mistake you for anyone else?"

and now he's pulling you along to his fancy car, talking about how he'll introduce you to his parents because apparantly, he's already talked to them about the wedding and-

what do you mean he's talked to your parents!? and they didn't tell you anything!? that's because he threatened them with your safety, but you don't have to know that.

the worst part? you left your book at the library!

could it be any worse? yes, it could. after dinner with your supposed parents-in-law, you pull him aside. he's happy to follow you, anticipating anything you have to say. are you excited too? he's already imagining all the fun you'll have together. cuddling with you, holding your hand, going on dates, spending the rest of his life with you-

"i'm sorry, but i'm not marrying you."

"..good joke, honey."

you're not joking? he falls silent. you've already left by the time he came back to his senses, and he's never felt emptier in his life. how do you think this man—someone who had been given everything he could ever need; who could have the whole world served on a silver platter if he asked—will face the rejection of the single person he's genuinely fallen head over heels for?

it's safe to say that his ego is absolutely bruised. don't even get me started on his heart. words cannot describe the world-shattering devestation he felt. no, he wouldn't stand for this. he's never taken no for an answer, and he certainly isn't starting now.

you will be with him, and he doesn't care if he has to shatter your legs just to make sure you never leave. let's hope it never comes to that, though. he quite likes it when you smile, but he supposedly wouldn't mind seeing you cry, either.

within the next few months, it's like the world is crumbling. your parents lose their jobs, your grades are suddenly dropping, you can barely earn enough from your part-time job to keep food on your plates—it's a mess.

you're struggling, and he knows it.

when you're at your lowest point, he'll pay you a visit. pitiful darling, you know he can make it all go away, right? he'll help you. like a demon tempting to grant your deepest, darkest desire.

"shh, don't cry, sweetheart," he'll take care of you.

don't worry, honey, he can make it all go away. it's not difficult to give you back all that he took away. everything you've lost can be placed right back onto your gorgeous little palm.

but at what cost?

your body.

your soul.

your mind.

your everything.

don't you see, honey? he would do anything for you. new clothes? he'll buy the entire mall. need a better house? how about a mansion? want the moon? he'll do his best to get it for you, no questions asked. you could have everything you could ever want and more.

it's a generous offer, lovely. all he asks for, in return, is that you give up. you were his the moment he saw you, and that might have been the biggest mistake of your life.

say yes, honey. it's the only option you have.

[masezace]

little off topic for my blog, but i started watching a new show since a friend mentioned it was good and i'd heard positive things about it, so i just wanted to talk about it a little bit (probably never again after this since this isn't a fandom blog, but it's the only one i have rn so idc it's going here)

the show is Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous, and just going on looks alone, despite my love for dinosaurs and the Jurassic Park franchise i never would have considered it. it appears to be very much for kids, and as i'm in my late twenties now i'm not particularly interested in especially kiddy media. however a friend my age enjoyed it and mentioned it has a canon lgbtq+ couple in it among the main characters, so of course i just had to watch it. i had already been hearing that despite its initial appearance and premise, it was surprisingly good for a kids' show, so i had already been curious, but i was even more keen after knowing there were queer characters, and not even the adults, the kids themselves (in a kid's show?!! what a time to be alive), so i finally sat down and watched it.

[spoiler warning, both minor and major, for the rest of this post btw, so continue reading at your own risk if you haven't seen it yet/are still watching]

the show overall

okay so firstly, i am coming at all of this from the perspective of a writer, so my observations are from a technical standpoint more so than just as a fan of the show. and honestly, it really is a well-written show as a whole. is it geared towards kids? definitely. there are plenty of jokes/gags in it that just don't appeal to me as an adult, but beyond that, there was plenty to appreciate as an adult.

the writing is actually phenomenal? there were several points in the series where i just sat back and mulled over the way a scene went, what the thought process behind writing it was like, how well it was executed, and how important it was to the characters and overall plot.

the suspense is spot on, nothing gets dragged out too long, and i will admit there have been a few scenes throughout that actually got me; i jumped! it's actually scarier than i expected a kid show to be, but i'm so glad they went where they did because it really elevated the experience.

the pacing overall is very good, adequately engaging for kids' short attention spans (and us adhd adults 🥲) but not too short either to a point where things felt abrupt or unfinished. plot arcs are well developed and tied up nicely. also, as a bit of a dinosaur nerd, the array of dinosaurs in the show is super broad and satisfying! very fun stuff.

character element

imo the real gem of this show is the character development. honestly it's just *chefs kiss*

the characters grow and change so much and so realistically over the course of the show, it's honestly so much better and more satisfying than the character growth in most adult fiction/media recently.

the growth in ben (who btw was def my favorite character by the end of s1) and kenji in particular were my favorites and, in my personal opinion, the most interesting. the way ben started out anxious, cowardly, and rule abiding to a fault, then grew into a brave, confident, adventurous little pyromaniac gremlin, then had that stint later in the series where he regressed a bit-questioning himself-until eventually ultimately striking a great balance and really coming into himself was just... peak character writing.

kenji started out overconfident, lazy, and overly concerned with money/status. but that arrogant overconfidence and laziness slowly turned into responsibility, and a desire to protect his found family, and the realization that it's the people in your life that really matter most.

honestly what i mentioned only scratches the surface in terms of those two characters, there's certainly more that can be said about them (as well as all the others) but i'm not really in the mood for a deep dive character analysis atm. just trust me tho when i say these characters are so well done and each one of them have arcs that are super satisfying to watch play out.

queer representation

and as for the queer couple? yasmina and sammy are PERFECT. it was so beautiful watching their relationship grow from one-sided to mutual friendship, to loyal devotion, then to love. they were set up incredibly well and incredibly naturally. i have like, no complaints when it comes to them. i don't even know if there's anything i can say that would add to things, they were just a really awesome couple to watch become canon, they're the beautiful and painfully needed representation we all beg for in tv and movies.

shipping, chemistry, and intent

but oh goodness... probably my only real complaint about the entire show would be how benji (ben x kenji) and kenji x brooklyn (kenlyn? brookji? idk and idrc) were handled. because for all that this show did SO much beautifully right, they really screwed the pooch here, sadly.

i'm gonna start by saying that the writing in this show, as with most, is deliberate. what i mean by this is that despite having no clue who it would be because my friend thankfully did not even spoil me as far as the genders of the queer couple, i clocked yas and sammy as the would-be queer couple as early as season one (actually it was between them and benji, but more on that later). i could already see the chemistry, because it was deliberately written in.

shipping is subjective. anyone can ship any character, and in most cases it's pretty easy to see how there could be (romantic) chemistry between fan pairings based on their personalities, their arcs, etc. and that's okay! ships don't even have to have any canon support to be valid, because shipping is for the fandom, and it's for fun (i have a few rarepairs and crack ships across different media that i just love).

but onscreen/written romantic chemistry is a lot less subjective (to clarify, it is subjective whether or not the chemistry is good, but it's not subjective about whether or not it exists). there are literally scenes written with the sole purpose of building the romantic tension and/or chemistry between planned couples (some of which even have absolutely zero plot relevance, which usually is not advised tbh, and most of which are the cliches/tropes you see in literally any romance ever written, some are just disguised a little better than others. but make no mistake, it's all the same set of cliches. there is nothing new under the sun), as well as intentional, key moments within scenes that have other purposes. they are essential to establish romantic pairings.

and typically, the foundations for these couples are laid VERY early on. always within the first or second season (well, at least they are when the writer actually knows what they're doing and has at least a rough plan/outline for the entire series & characters. this is usually a large part of what separates the good chemistry from the poor chemistry. an author who knows who the couples are going to be and has a plan from the beginning to build them up is going to be more successful in creating a believable relationship with good chemistry. one who does not plan, or makes last minute plans will almost certainly fail, and the couple is just going to suck). when the set of characters you're working with are going to stay the same for most or all of the story, you start immediately.

i don't mean to toot my own horn, because i think it's because i'm a writer so i just pick up on narrative patterns very easily, and pretty much always clock the planned couples within the first few episodes of any series, and by the end i am right like 9 times out of 10.

that being said, do you know whose deliberately written chemistry i also clocked in jwcc? ben and kenji's.

kenji and... brooklyn?

no offense to people who like/enjoy kenji and brooklyn, you are free to love them, but the way their romance was written is... quite possibly the weakest point of the show. it felt like they were just trying to appease the upsetto heteros in charge, because there was definitely another het pairing that had a lot more potential than kenji and brooklyn (hello darius x brooklyn aka darilyn, you would have actually made sense because your relationship had amazing buildup and multiple standout scenes from s1 on. dgmw, i love that we got a m/f strong, supportive, purely platonic friendship out of them, i live for those and we really need more of them. but we could have had that with kenji and brooklyn, or darius and sammy, or ben and yas, literally any other pair instead).

kenji and brooklyn as a couple came out of absolutely nowhere. i honestly think they decided to shove them together last minute, and had no actual plan for them until they were working on s4. because their development barely started at the VERY end of s3 (the abruptness of him caring about her being held hostage so much more than literally anyone else in their group despite them having like zero buildup to that point gave me whiplash), but honestly didn't really even become "meaningful" development until s4, over halfway through the series. the two spend the first 3 seasons basically not particularly gaf about each other individually, only as part of the whole group and on an equal level with everyone else. they otherwise have no deliberate narrative foundation. it just starts in s4 with no prior hinting. which makes their development rocky and difficult to believe. the funny thing is their characters literally have dialogue (in s4) trying to draw comparisons/parallels between them to say that they especially have a lot in common and like??? no? they really don't? not any more so than any other two kids in the group. their relationship just, really falls flat.

it was disappointing to see it take such a massive spotlight in the series for almost all of seasons 4 and 5, overshadowing the friendships that have been the focus of the show and should have remained so, to the point where at times it just felt like i was watching some stereotypical het highschool romance. genuinely, it made s4 & 5 more of a drag to get through. yasammy and ben and yas' growing bond (which by the way was so sweet, it had the strongest queer solidarity vibes good lord, i sure wonder why yas chose ben out of everyone to come out to first, hmmm) were some of the few things that kept me invested, otherwise i would have dropped it if it had leaned much farther into becoming the kenlyn show than it already was. especially when it was that pair so much of the focus was given to, even though we had so readily and perfectly available, the pair that could have, should have been: benji. which finally brings me to:

ben and kenji

benji's foundation was laid in s1. their interactions, the situations they found themselves in, were deliberate (on the writers' part). i'm even gonna go out on a limb here and say the pairings were fully established in s1e3, even with parallels between yasammy and benji (sammy clinging to yas and ben clinging to kenji throughout the episode), and darilyn gets the beginning of their development too.

even though they bicker a lot in the beginning, they clearly care about each other? kenji protects/helps ben multiple times, and there are definitely some looks ben gives kenji at times. at the end of s1, the one who seems the most deeply effected over ben's "death," other than darius (understandably since he's the one who failed to save him), was kenji! immediately after it happens, we get two close up shots, darius and brooklyn then yasmina and sammy. after which, we go back to the whole group with kenji in center frame, the focus is intentionally on him. it is only kenji who drops to his knees at the loss, and then we get a close up of just kenji. he was saved for last, and he was alone in frame (tbf bumpy was in frame too, but i'm talking humans here), which implies his feelings are especially important in this moment. that is the reason for solo close ups.

after ben's "death," kenji takes to always wearing ben's fanny pack, and up until bumpy--who ben cares VERY much about--got separated from them, kenji was the one who (however briefly) took over her care, ensuring she got off the monorail with them, and he's extremely distraught, more than pretty much all of them, when they can't find her, and he's last to leave when they decide to accept that ben's gone. even when they do leave, he's distant and distracted and his mind is clearly still on ben.

other than darius, kenji is the only one (if i'm remembering correctly) to mention ben/say his name after they lost him, upset because he was actually trying not to think about him. he has clearly thought about ben, probably a lot, because it's hard not to be reminded constantly when you wear something that belonged to a deceased loved one. and frankly, he appears to be the only one who dwells on him that much.

when ben reappears alive (which btw he found the group again because of kenji's butter knife, hello), the frames literally purposely focus on kenji's reaction. he's the one in the foreground every time they show him and brooklyn in that scene. he is the first one to say ben's name, the first one to go to him and hug him, and the scene takes special care to highlight kenji's strong emotions at ben's reappearance, lingering on his teary face as the focus for a bit even after brooklyn enters the frame to hug ben (because she is not at all an important element in the scene at that moment). just like when ben "died," the way this scene is written and shot HEAVILY suggests that ben holds significant importance to kenji, specifically. because again, the focus here is on kenji and ben almost exclusively, with brooklyn as only an afterthought lol. and quite frankly literally everyone else's reaction to him being alive was pretty lackluster compared to the special attention they gave to kenji on this.

and then in s3 we have the infamous hat scene, where darius and ben are in the limo and ben sees and mentions kenji's sailor hat, looking sad and sounding like... longing?? then directly after we switch to kenji realizing he forgot his hat?? the scene has no real significance tbh other than to draw a connection between ben and kenji. like, it acts as a transition to switch to the pov of the group on the boat, but it was entirely unnecessary? why not just have darius say something about the others and then show them on the boat? if there were no special relationship between ben and kenji, it would have made far more sense if they really wanted it to be ben to say something, that he sees the hat, and sadly says something along the lines of "i hope the others are okay/doing better than we are right now/etc" which implies that the hat made him think of everyone, their whole group. rather than what we got... which very much implies that he was mostly just thinking about kenji 💀 and then kenji thinking about the hat at the same time ben's looking at it and thinking of kenji. like, this is.... a very blatant connection being made by the writing/directing here.

all of that. so many deliberate connections made between ben and kenji, they had a very solid foundation laid for a romance to develop, and by all intents and purposes one already WAS developing according to the show's own subtext. which was why up until s4 obliterated the idea, i was positive the queer couple in the show was either going to be yasammy or benji. it was extremely obvious imo. but as soon we started getting the typical, loud, cliche "we are going to pair off these characters" scenes for kenji and brooklyn, i knew we were getting yasammy and not benji (to be clear, i'm not at all upset about yasammy, they're beautiful and i love how their relationship was done, i wouldn't have had it end any other way for them. but i do personally prefer benji, i just like their personalities and dynamic more. and i feel they had so much potential that got wasted to make way for a far less interesting pairing between kenji and brooklyn. why can't we have 2 queer couples, huh? and if we really needed a minimum of one hetero pairing to appease whoever needed appeasing, darilyn was right there).

but then??? their like entire bond just gets dropped (honestly ben himself gets pretty heavily sidelined for almost all of the last two seasons, which is criminal imo). mostly so that a rushed kenji x brooklyn can be established. like there are still a few small moments here and there in early s4, and one episode in s5 (ep 10), but from early s4 till pretty much the end of the series we hardly see them have any meaningful conversations or interactions, meanwhile literally every other combo in the group does.

it's so weird? why build up benji so deliberately over the course of multiple seasons just to like, fully discard it for a pairing with far less chemistry, even after the chemistry-building scenes they shared, some of which literally had no other purpose than to affirm their connection? even though they were very sparse, the moments benji had were just so blatant (kenji leaps into the rock crevice right onto the back of a saber tooth to save ben?!!?? like he literally was just willing to exchange his life for him like that?? he basically says that he wasn't really thinking, he just did it. so he moved out of what, emotional instinct, that's what we're meant to intuit from that series of events? implying that he specifically has strong emotion and doesn't think things through when it comes to ben? because he doesn't do that kinda stuff for any of the others in the group! even better, this parallels when sammy jumped on the nothosaurus to save yasmina. and then the way benji look at each other after it's over??? hello??? and then how kenji pulls both brooklyn and ben in for that hug a couple minutes later... side eyeing the writers for that choice. they knew what they were doing there and they were evil for it). i just can't see any reason to have dropped them like they were, after all the development they shared for 3 seasons. confounding. biggest disappointment of the series.

i know this probably reads to some as just "wahh, my ship didn't become canon" nonsense. but that's not why i'm bugged. this wasn't just a ship i liked and wanted canon despite no actual narrative support, as most ships tend to be. this ship did have narrative support. there was intent behind many of their scenes together, lingering looks and little things that matter narratively and are always used to signify a stronger/special connection. and it led nowhere, for no good reason. that bothers me. writing that implies and promises something, but never delivers on it. like a person who never finishes their sentences (think Dr McPhee from Night at the Museum). ultimately it's not a HUGE deal or anything, at the end of the day it's just a ship and just a kids' show. but as a writer, it's just irritating to see something like that be done. what can i say 🤷

conclusion

even despite the wasted potential between certain pairings, and even though i do think the first three seasons were superior to the last two, overall i really enjoyed the show, and for what it was, it was really well-made. the overarching focus was of course on found family and friendship before anything else, which i absolutely love, and it was masterfully done. out of 6 kids, all of them had at least one or two meaningful bonding moments one-on-one with another in the group, so every possible combination had their moment to build strong, believable friendships with each other. i'm just so surprised by how good it was as a whole honestly, good enough to binge over the course of a week. i will happily recommend jwcc to anyone willing to give it a watch regardless of age, because i definitely think there's no age limit for a good story, no matter the medium it's told in. :)

[beesmygod]

fact check me on this absurd bloodborne father gascoigne deepest lore posting

i'm working on the next "you hunted" update and frankly i feel split between feeling like im doing the pepe silvia routine and partly feel like it makes enough sense to get a soft pass. i know these are so many words to read. but ultimately its about gascoigne and his stupid music box, if that means anything to you:

on our short trek from the tomb of oedon to his chapel, we pass through a weird...sewer...drainage room thing with a ladder leading to a modest library. a note on the table reads:

"The Byrgenwerth spider hides all manner of rituals, and keeps our lost master from us. A terrible shame. It makes my head shudder uncontrollably."

this note is REALLY weird. even cross-checking the re-translation guide doesn't do much but reinforce the literal meaning of the note: there's a spider at byrgenwerth (another rom, we don't know this yet) hiding rituals, even the ritual involving the lost (or, in a better translation, unseeable/invisible) lord. bummer. ahhhh my head is rattling. but...who wrote this? about who? and why?

it's time to be a Fromsoft Lore guy in the worst way: we're going to dissect this note down to its atomic structure in order to wring any and all possible meaning from it in a futile attempt to try to come up with a tortured explanation for nonsense. skip all this italicized text to return to planet earth.

who wrote this note? if we knew that, a lot of things would be cleared up. the potential suspect list comprised of known individuals who have passed through that area recently is pretty tiny. can't be fauxsefka, because she doesn't use this route to reach the clinic. alfred doesn't seem to have much interest in the church, knows little about byrgenwerth, and seems unaware of most things in general. an unnamed and unknown NPC of no consequence? well, maybe. probably, even.

but what about gascoigne? you find this note immediately after defeating him by using a key he drops. it clear he did not progress past the library, as the incense would have driven him off (and the chapel dweller's reaction suggests you are the first hunter they've seen/sniffed). there's a possible clue left in the library that points to a hunter having passed through recently: the blood gem workshop tool. its one of three "misplaced" workshop tools found in the waking world. a hunter took this with them when they left the dream and left it in a chest in oedon chapel. that narrows down the pool of candidates quite a bit. gascoigne obviously knows what blood gems are, he gifted one to his wife. and this is before we've even discussed gascoigne's connections to a "lost master".

who is this note about?  the words used for titles in the english translation are all over the place and "master" could mean anything from "school principal" to "great ones". this has made trying to pin the subject of this note down near impossible. the japanese is more specific: "lords" in this note is translated as "主" and is almost never in the script otherwise. the only relevant usage even remotely close is it's use is in a different note later as a flowery way to refer to whoever has assumed the role of vicar of the healing church (essentially: "lord of blood ministration"). it is also used for micolash ("lord of the nightmare"), the japanese name of the bloodletting beast ("lord of the beast blood"), and for master willem of byrgenwerth ONLY in the graveguard set item description1. in the case of micolash and the bloodletting beast, "lord" can be read as "host" as well. but NOT like a parasite host!!! specifically like, a household host. "host of the beast blood" is intended to be literal.

now time to play "guess who?": willem could be described as "lost" metaphorically, but he's also like, right there. out in the open. he's considerably less lost than our other two options, micolash or laurence/host of the beast blood. willem doesn't use the 主 kanji usually; he's "headmaster" willem or some other title that makes it clear he's from a school. forget willem. it's not him.

i'm pretty sure japanese players were supposed to intuit a connection between the "lord of the beast blood" and the "lord of blood ministration" and this nuance was lost in translation. and while there is a vacuous spider in lower pthumeru blocking access to a secret 4th labyrinth layer where a hunter can find a lost lord of the beast blood, it's clearly not in byrgenwerth. it's not the big doggie.

micolash, head of the rogue school of mensis, is literally lost in the nightmare acting as it's host/lord. access to the corpse of micolash is blocked until rom, the byrgenwerth spider, is defeated. so. having eliminated any alternatives, the note is almost certainly about micolash. but. why? who in oedon chapel gives a shit about micolash?

there are a truly confusing number of connections between gascoigne and the school of mensis (and thus, micolash). the most specific and startling connection is that the music box that gascoigne has a good/bad (?) reaction to plays "mergo's lullaby". this exact song plays during a fight with the wet nurse of oedon's presumed (but like, come on. it is) child, the titular mergo. if gascoigne's daughter is sent to iosekfa's clinic, you will obtain the level 1 formless oedon rune from her body which, as we discussed in the last part, depicts the blood moon descending during a (mensis) ritual; levels 3 and 4 of the rune are found in oedon chapel itself.

gascoigne's garb reads:

The dingy scarf is a Holy Shawl and symbol of the Healing Church, from which Gascoigne would eventually part ways. "Father" is a title used for clerics in a foreign land, and there is no such rank in the Healing Church.

reads a bit differently now...perhaps father gascoigne did not bring a foreign form of worship to yharnam. gascoigne left the healing church in order to start his own, based on the foreign practices of pthumeru.

only today the church is abandoned, and some say that the residents of oedon have all gone mad.