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#and i only DONT because HOUSING ACTIVELY FUCKED UP
sweet-as-kiwis · 1 year
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You would think disability services would make it Easy to get your accommodations but noooo of Course not
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andromedasummer · 11 months
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this shit sucks. tomorrow is a stay in bed and set up a writing blog day. mend my clothes day. move some boxes day.
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separatismor · 5 months
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#idg the ppl who make fun of ppl who label bullying as a trauma#my mum was bashed every day at school as a kid#then had to go home to deal with religious/cult brainwashing#i was bullied during 'no tolerance' beginnings so they just learned to jab at my appearance and ostracize me#im still deeply affected to the point where i cant form relationships without feeling on some subconscious level#that im actually being manipulated#and then i do end up getting manipulated#(there was other bullying going on but that was 95% of what they found they could get away with)#so basically im rly struggling with still feeling like a joke and like im someone whose only worth is to be fucked with in every conceivable#way as i hold no value in being seen as beautiful or lovable or likable or smart or funny or a complete person#because basically 90% of the people whove been in my life have treated me with active hostility#the other ten percent include people who were paid to not be hostile#one person out of all ive gone on more than one date with#and three friends i have now#only one of whom is willing to emotionally support me when im telling them IM STRUGGLING#anyway bullying solidified that i was a worthless pos to everyone on the planet and i dont know what kind of charmed#life these ppl have lived to not have bullying be the piss flavoured icing on the shit flavoured cake that was their childhood#okay the bullying got so bad for me that i ended up going thru psych abuse further familial abuse#a really shitty 'friendship' i had which futuer entrenched how worthless i was#which made me anthropophobic which was an horrific nightmare#i barely left the house for almost 7 years!!!!#THIS is why pplthink theyre autistic#no actually im just deeply confused as to why you would ever tell me the truth about anything#as i KNOW that im worthless and should die#the shits who laugh at bullying being considered a trauma to some come off as tho yhey were a bully...
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narutomaki · 6 months
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I hate that I hate doing things in my own dude but it's so fucking boring !!!
#i dont go out to eat and i dont go to the movie theater so like the two biggest Default Hang activities are completely non-options for me#i dont like seeing movies in theatre 1) the local one sucks and 2) i cant sit still for over a half hour in a chair that makes me want to#become an arsonist.#ive been to Fancy Good Fun movie theatres and seen Incredible Higjly Rated films and still been like#20 mins in. is it going to be over soon? can i leave? please?#i like going to the library and shopping and walking down by the river and in the woods#but i also Dont Like The Beach because sand makes me want to become a fucking terrorist and the water safety index thing#sent me on a spiral sooo bad ♡ also im too body conscious to enjoy myself#the public pools okay excepts its expensive and over crowded 100% of the time#rock beachs are good i like swimming i just eugh#i also. dont like going to the gyms indoor pool.#its so fucking echoy in there i get a migraine thinking about it#i do like their sauna tho but. again. priced out of that experience! wahoo! also the stairs there are designed to torture me#i like eating outside i like picnics in theory i just cant get comfortable sitting in like 98% of places for more than like 30 mins.#at some point some part of my body is going to start hurting so bad i want to throw up.#i like playing video games and board games but i dont have any consoles or board games so like.#man. idk!#i hate doing things alone bcus i Was Alone for 3 years with my only social contact being my abusive family#i would speak to them maybe 3 times a month and get out of the house maybe 2 times and#idk! idk its just like! okay! im done being socialy isolated!!!#>every activity that you can do to hang out with people is unappealing to me or causes me physical damage#😭 okay nvm!!!
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as im getting closer & closer to the day that i will officially leave my hometown & go live with my dad i am starting to understand my ocs more
#avani most notably rn. bc shes actually my age and leaves behind everyone and everything she knows#having to grow up the rest of the way in an entirely different situation#because even if the situation youve been in for all your teen years has sucked ass the entire time its still.#its familiar? like. yk. familiar suffering is better than the unknown#personal#ive lived in that house my entire life. ive been with my dad for long stretches of time (all of summer break for instance) and it was fine#i KNOW i cant stay there. my mom's partner has actually physically hurt me and theyre both awful to me#and i also know that the only reason why its been somewhat good there lately is because i rarely speak to them anymore#that is not a house to live in! and i fucking love my dad. my stepsiblings. my stepmom!!#and its not even just the fact that im moving. right. i could probably handle that were it not for me also finishing high school.#i got financial support as a student whos 18+ while i was in high school. now its.#i need to get an income. in a region i barely know. being both physically & mentally disabled.#but not so disabled that im *incapable* of work!! which the law here asks for!!#(or i am and i just dont realize it because ive been working past my limits for so long ive forgotten what they are el em ay oh)#also ill miss my cat so fucking much#i love my dad's cats but shes special man#i miss her rn actually but im going back for the last time in a few days so#i was like. tearing up bc of the anxiety but then i remembered my cat and now im actively trying not to cry loudly#bc its. yk. almost 6 am and its almost waking up time for everyone here except me because. my school ended last month#its bedtime for me actually but i couldnt sleep because i was too busy crying over the fact that i am never going to get that room back#i miss being a child#at least back then it wasnt that complicated! i didnt know i was being mistreated when i was 11!#all of this doesnt even matter that much im just really bad with transitions. which is ironic. im transgender#though granted ive put off getting on that list for that exact reason. im scared of transitioning#like the moment im comfortably settled here and have a job and/or disability benefits. all of this will just be embarrassing#something to look back on and laugh. and then cry because i still miss my cat.
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sleepatterns · 14 days
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today has been. hnngngnfhskakdhhhhhh so many weird feelings and not fun thoughts. things our mom said to us + going back to grandparents house was a weird combination. also the conversation we had with our mom had the exact Opposite effect of what she was intending i think because wow holy shit we feel so so fucking awful
#we know that she didnt intend to hurt us but. wow holy shit#also think that we thought about. if she did kick us out i feel like that would be negative for our sister in some ways?#like hypothetically if our mom didnt let us stay here and then much later our sister found out why#would that not make her much more hesitant to tell our mom if she was going through similar shit?#i also just dont see how it would currently be impacting our sister#we dont do anything when shes in the house. we dont let anything show until its healed#the only reason our mom saw was because it was hot as fuck and we were cleaning out our car so we wore shorts#we told her that it was much less frequent and she said it doesn’t matter because we’re still doing it#which is like. yeah its not great but we’ve made progress and it is very much an addiction for us at this point?#not exactly the easiest thing to just Fucking Stop. we have Tried#bfhdh and her saying that whatever we’re trying to do to get better ‘clearly isnt working’#mom!! mom please we are very mentally unwell and are trying our best!!!!#her talking to us about all that just completely blindsided us too. like huh what you’re saying all this now at once#hhhh and her saying we avoid serious conversations. i can understand why she said that but its still frustrating in a way#we dont want to not be good at handling serious situations and is something we are trying to figure out how to be better at#but its hard when we tend to just shut down whenever serious things do come up#it’s something weve talked to our therapist about and is very much a result of how our grandma treated us#we just. dont know how to overcome that. and we feel like if we dont magically resolve it immediately then we’re horrible#our therapist has told us that it will take a While for our brain to realize that we are not in danger#and that our trauma responses may last for Years even with actively working on improving them#however our thoughts always go ‘youre just using that as an excuse to be awful’#hhhhhhhhmeow#did not mean to rant in the tags this much if we had known we were gonna say all this we would’ve just put it in the main post lmao
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fragmentating · 6 months
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Honestly not much radicalized me in regards to bodily autonomy the way being a chronic selfharmer for 10+ years has. And one of those things that really are so awful to deal with is a lack of privacy.
When I go inpatient and they ask me if I have wounds, and I answer honestly, they dont just write that down. They make me undress and show each single one, otherwise I wont be "processed" and let into my room.
In the underage psych ward I was in they would sometimes search the rooms of known selfharmers while we were away at a therapy appointment, or seeing family in the visitation room, etc. They wouldn't tell you. They would lie about it if you asked about it. But all your shit had been moved around slightly, enough for observant people to notice. If they found blades, or any other sharp object regardless of it you had used it to selfharm though, you would obviously be punished.
One time I cut and went to the nurses for help, I was scared because it had never been that deep before and their response was tossing my room after I had voluntarily given them the two blades i had, while a male nurse kept saying how uncomfortable he was that he "had to" inspect my pads, saying "why would you need that many", ... they had metal detectors. They could've just swiped it across everything. But that wouldn't have been humiliating enough like seeing a nurse dig through my underwear and pads and diary.
Outside of the psych ward, my family kept up a similar approach. They did not search my room at least, knowing it was futile because there were always knifes in the house if I was desperate anyways, and a store down the street that sold razors. But locked doors were my mothers enemy. If I locked my door to masturbate, and she noticed it was locked? She would knock and yell until I opened it. If I simply wanted to relax in a bath but she decided it was suspiciously long ? The same.
When they couldn't catch me in the act but my scars kept getting more and more theyd threaten me with being hospitalized again.
When the hospital ER would send me to the closed ward for cuts that had nothing to do with suicidal ideation, but they decided I must be lying because it was deep enough, no matter how often I said I simply "messed up" because of adrenaline and blades that were sharper than expected. They had no legal ground to lock me up again but who cares, right. Its just one of those freaks who cuts themselves anyways.
And none of this kept me safe. None of this prevented me from cutting majority of the time. It made me distrust the ER. It made me distrust nurses. It made me hide my body even around my family. And when it did momentarily work I simply started harming myself in other ways. I ended up covered in bruises, with minor concussions, increasingly starving myself, depriving myself of sleep, ...
No one ever went "let's really try to figure out why you do this." Instead they went "why the fuck wont you just chew some bubble gum and roll a spikey ball on the soles of your feet you depressed fuck" or some shit like bro I am being severely traumatized by the world and this is my reaction. It's all "you are the problem".
And as an adult whos decided that I'm not interested in quitting, who "only" practices harm reduction I know that absolutely no one wants to accept that as a choice I should be allowed to make. Doesnt matter that I'm an expert at taking care of wounds and I have not had a single infection in 10+ years aside from once on wounds that got fucking stitched at the hospital. that I actively do my best to avoid lasting damage. That I try to keep the frequency low. They put me through years of surveillance and shame and threats without ever trying to see the root cause, only ever treat me as a bratty problem child who's being difficult just to fuck with them, and can not understand why that wouldn't make me want to stick to the goals they have set for me.
Therapists genuinely lose their mind when I tell them I don't want ~sobriety~ I just want to reduce harm and get on with my life. Their teachings do not allow for this to be but a short term compromise. I do not care.
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i-cant-sing · 10 months
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Just thinking about Yandere Todoroki clan and reader's random moments.
Reader coming home after a particularly bad day, but poor girl cant even cry or complain without everyone immediately overreacting and pulling you out of school/college or even keeping you from going out at all. So now, reader has to either cry in self pity before she enters her home, wipe her tears and fix herself just enough to show that she hadnt just bawled her eyes out moments ago. That, or do the more risky thing and go home, go to your room and cry under the covers, but then theres always the chance of Rei or the others walking in on you any moment.
Also thinking about baby/toddler reader being sick, just a common cold or flu, nothing major. But with reader whining and being so young, the family's infantalisation goes through the roof and theyd treat you as if you were immunocompromised. I wont lie, but I think Rei is almost kinda... glad when you get sick? She enjoys you being dependant on her for the most things, even when you grow up and are able to handle a cold, she still deludes herself into thinking that you need mommy to come and help you.
I think the one person who is most affected by reader getting sick, no matter what age, is Enji. The man just cant help but view you as a fragile, starving Victorian child the moment you fall ill. In his eyes, even a harsh blow of air is too much for a fragile thing like you, let alone something as bad as the flu. He just- he's holding toddler reader in his arms, who snuggles into his warm body, your tiny nose pink and he cant get the image of you crying and vomiting and being oh so feverish- thats just way too much for your small body. Oh how he almost cried when he took you to the doctor for a shot and you clung to him, trying to bury yourself into him as you begged him to make you feel better, cried to him that you didnt want to get the "big scary needle!" He just had to hold you there in his firm grip as you writhed, had to look away when you looked at him and he saw the feeling of betrayal in your eyes, had to keep himself from not strangling the fucking doctor for not being careful, had to walk out of the clinic and hand you to Rei because he couldnt hear you cry anymore, had to have Rei console both you and Enji (assuring him that "no, Enji. Y/n doesnt resent you for making her get a shot.") and he couldnt even sleep a wink that night because he was standing by your bed, holding your tiny hand with his pinky as a tear finally slipped out of his eye.
ALSO thinking about adult reader going out of the house to meet up with friends, except shes meeting up with them at a club instead of at their house like she told Enji and Rei, and now shes standing outside, abandoned by said friends, and shes now running because a group of pervy men are chasing her and she doesnt know who to call, so she just speed dials Shotou, except someone just changed all your speed dials to one number, and you think youre doomed when Shotou doesnt say a word to you and just hangs up when within minutes, someone comes in front of you-
"Dabi?" He tells you to cover your ears and look away, and you know well by know what that means, so you obey, feeling a bit regretful as those men begin to scream in agony. You dont know how long its been until Dabi pulls your hands away and examines your wounds. He lets you crash into his chest as you sob, and this time, Dabi simply decides to take you home quietly without a lecture.
Hmmm, also thinking about Natsuo who is usually cool as a cucumber, the most normal being in the family, except for his very rare episodes of unbridled rage where he suddenly becomes the Hulk. Good thing for you is that this anger is never directed towards you, rather towards people who actively threaten your life (except Rei cause she gets to play "Im your mom who became mentally unstable because of your abusive dad") The only time NAtsuo is stern with you is when it comes to your health. He's just looking at you with those strict eyes when you refuse to take your multivitamins, or dont want to get a flu shot, or try to make up an excuse so that he cant check your vitals. And when he just grabs your wrist and pulls you to sit down so that he can do his checkup, its in those moments that you realise just how strong your brother is... and how easy it may be for him to overpower you and sedate you if he ever followed through Rei's threats.
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its-your-mind · 7 months
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okay so like. Kim dokja is definitely allergic to tomatoes, right? (see: this post) Like he thinks he just doesn’t like them but it’s because they taste like burning? Spicy fruits? Leave a film in his mouth for hours? Like he has no idea why everyone Fucking Loves This Fruit cuz it Fucking Sucks
anyway hc that it’s ysg who finally actually figures out somethings wrong bc. yjh has taken it as a Personal Challenge to sneak tomatoes into Something and get Kim Dokja to say he likes it, except no matter how buried in a recipe they are, kdj immediately notices and like. throws a fork at him. one time after the fork misses yjh (he is very fast and has honed all of his senses. the only forks that hit him are the ones he lets hit him. (nothing goes over my head. my reflexes are too fast. I would catch it.) omg wait he WOULD say that though okay anyway) and sticks into the wall, handle out, kdj just starts ranting about how he just doesn’t understand why yjh uses tomatoes in everything when they’re like. spicier than chili peppers, and there is an ALMOST FULL jar of gochujang RIGHT THERE that he could use to achieve the spice and it would be WAY BETTER AND EASIER. Cuz tomatoes don’t even add flavor to food, they just overpower anything they’re in! and they leave such a horrible gross film in your mouth and you can’t even make it go away with water and…
and then yjh is like. hold the fuck up. is that how all my food with tomatoes tastes to you??? and kdj is like. yes???? Is it not supposed to??????? why do you put tomatoes in it then?!?!??!?? and yjh is like CUZ THEYRE SWEET AND PROVIDE A GOOD FLAVOR BALANCER TO SPICE????????? and kdj is like BALANCE????????!?!?!! and before they start fuckign. attacking each other with swords. ysg is like wait Dokja-ssi have tomatoes always tasted like that to you? both cooked and raw tomatoes? and kdj is like. ??? yes??? do they not taste like that to you? and ysg is like no and I don’t think they’re supposed to. and lsh is like hold on. have you never been allergy tested before? and kdj’s like ??????? No????? and so she’s like well we can go to my office tomorrow but it sounds like you’re allergic to tomatoes. and kdj’s like what? the fuck?? SO THEYRE NOT SUPPOSED TO TASTE LIKE POISON meanwhile in the background yjh is having a full internal breakdown bc apparently he has been going OUT OF HIS WAY to feed the love of his life something that is ACTIVELY HARMING HIM and so when kdj turns around to gloat like hA I tOLD you tomatoes were awfu— why are you hugging me WhY aRE YOU CrYING and then before yjh can say ANYTHING he’s like NO WAIT ITS FINE ACTUALLY I CAN EAT THE TOMATOES I DONT WANT YOU TO HAVE TO GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO MAKE ME SPECIAL ALLERGY FOOD and everyone is just staring at him agape or facepalming bc ofc he would complain and gripe and moan when it was just a personal preference but as SOON AS IT WAS AN ACTIVE DANGER TO HIS LIFE he insists that it’s fine. Yjh just glares at him until he trails off mid word. and then yjh turns around to grab everything out of the fridge that has tomatoes in it but lgy and sys are WAY AHEAD OF HIM and have already started a bonfire in the yard and are just hurling every tomato-touched food item in the house into the flames. tomatoes never cross the kimcom threshold again. hsy finds all of this fucking hilarious until she realizes they’ll never be allowed to bring pizza into the house again (don’t look at me like that yoo joonghyuk it’s Selena Kim’s fault you shouldn’t have let her into the group regression if you didn’t want her american food tastes to spread)
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hana-no-seiiki · 6 months
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Hi, i dont know your request are still open, but. Maybe Arlecchino! reader? where the batfam first time met them, they think she is a enemy? (well she is actually, idk) by her mysterious manner? they know her from Damian, who is friends with Lyney and Lynette. Damian never met with reader. But, one day. Lyney and Lynette is been bring to the Wayne Manor by Damian. For a simple dinner, yes. They tell that they are orphans that live in a orphanage named "House of Hearth" at France.
They come to Gotham for study. And yes, Bruce feels sympathy for them (actually want to adopt them.). Well thats just an idea he have in his mind. But, now. Bruce interested as they said that "Father" which is reader is a woman. And lucky, Reader is at Gotham for some "business", Bruce added that he like to make this "Father" came to have dinner with them tommorow.
(Fatui Harbinger is a netral organisation. Yet, still indeed dangerous. They only search something important for their own fortune, maybe like a mafia or something?)
Anyway. When the Batfam met with Reader, they cant help. But find, reader is.. Strange, and mysterious. But cant help by their charming aura. And, why is reader suddenly accept the offer to met with the Batfam? because, she want to make sure about her guess that Bruce Wayne is the Infamous Batman. (okay, maybe the fatui harbinger have some issues with the superheros ig). As Batman was the one who failed her mission for seeking a Hydro gem. She managed to escape of course.. (Idk, its your choice to finish the rest of it, im already fucked up to think the rest of it.)
Anyway, love your writing. I mean, the things i imagened of batfam have a crossover with genshin or hsr became true by you. I never found a writer that made such a Batfam x Genshin/Hsr/Honkai impact one like you. Maybe later make a Ada Wong! reader x Batfam? Im sorry if i have a lot things to say. Thank you for reading this shitty words of mine. Rest well, may God bless you. 💕💕💕💕💕💕
omfg i was just about to start a draft on Arlecchino reader!!! but i wanted to wait for when our dear Father is out first so I can read her story, etc.
I’ll save the bulk of my ideas/fic for when I fully know her lore but this is what I got from the story quest.
The name Arlecchino was the most people got from digging information on you.
You were this mysterious entity among the notorious Fatui Harbingers. Neither vengeful nor greedy. Nor were you ever known to actively seek out blood outside of the Tsaritsa’s orders.
Your priority has and will always been the House of Hearth. Your children. You were never too far from them.
After one of the relics your master told you to obtain was destroyed, you were to punished by being forced to help with the next acquisition. The Crown of the Pyro Clan.
You were stationed in East America. Particularly Gotham for investigation.
An ordinary Wayne Ent. office worker by the day, mafia capo causing havoc by night.
You weren’t really taking your job seriously, so you were soon caught by Gotham’s finest.
And soon after that, their obsession.
God is Tim such a great pair for Arlecchino reader tho. I already see him drooling all over them-
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fandomfucker · 6 months
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Do you think you could do one for Rhea were it’s all about how she posts about her girlfriend on social media? Like she posts about her girl and the fans just go wild for it? Can make it fluff, smut, whatever takes your fancy. Could be headcannons if you want? ❤️‍🔥🌸
YES!! I love this one cause I literally think about these things all the time. Doing headcannons so I can fit more in🫡
Lemme know if yall want a part 2!
I've said it before, I'll say it again; Rhea loves doing TikTok trends with you
Whether you're running into her and she swings you around or your eyes are inches away from her tits, she loves them and she loves the reactions ya'll get from the fans
She constantly reposts fanart of not just the two of you, but fanart of just you
There's even some of you and her dogs which she commissioned the og artists to paint on a canvas so she could put them up around the house
And edits of course
She lives for the edits people make of you
You're not super active on twitter however Rhea will always find some way to flirt with you on every single post you make, no matter what its about. A winking emoji, some heart eyes, or the filthiest implications
and the mosherz always go batshit when she does it
she also reposts ever single one of your posts to hype you up no matter what it is
She also loves to just take pictures/videos of you when you're completely unaware and just totally natural because those are the things she loves most about you
Every milestone post has a caption so long most people dont even bother to finish reading it
of course its all about how much she loves you and how proud she is of you but omg its so long
she will bully the fuck out of anyone leaving even the slightest mean comment
like to the point they delete their account
she just loves to show you off every chance she gets
because you're hers and she's yours and everyone needs to know that
every thirst pic/video she posts goes to you first so you're always the first to see them
You also get bonus content thats not posted😉
sometimes you'll be in one of her tiktoks or thirst posts from Raw (or a ppv) and the caption is always something super raunchy that makes the fans freak out for the next few weeks
or until the next post
You've been obsessed with the Harley Quinn show on Max recently so for Halloween you made Rhea dress up as the Poison Ivy to your Harley Quinn
You won best costume and there was tons of fanart made of the two of you as them
You like to do face masks and you wanted Rhea to join you but she'd only do it if you would agree to do a little photoshoot with her with them on for her insta
She also took a little polaroid of you to keep in her wallet
On that note, when you revealed that Rhea keeps one of those mini photo albums for polaroids in her carry-on (no matter where she goes) FILLED with polaroids of you, you and the dogs, or the occasional ones of the two of you, or all four of you, Twitter blew up
it was all anyone could talk about for weeks
"The cutest thing ever!!😍 Rhea loves her SO MUCH😭"
SHE. LOVES. TO. SHOW. YOU. OFF.
She has "Belongs to Y/F/N" in her bio on all socials
Constantly taking pictures of you because "you're just so beautiful, babe"
The fans are in love with how in love you are
Like its a fairytale and they're living for it
She constantly talks about you in interviews and always reposts those clips specifically so that just in case people didn't watch/listen to that particular instance of her gushing about you, now they have
The fans cosplay as the two of you just like they do with Rhea and Dom
you are THE it couple
Everyone wishes they were you
When you got engaged, you changed your name in your insta bio to Mrs. Ripley and the fans actually went insane
like to the point that the official WWE accounts got involved
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newtkive · 8 months
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pixels [ newt x reader - modern text au ]
ch. 2 - drama queen core
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summary: minho's drama finally catches up with him, but newt becomes a hero.
warnings: strong language, mutual pining, none really.
➥ m.list
__
THE GLADE
[ 12:08 PM ]
y/n: gm pookies
newt: it’s the afternoon.
y/n: yeah well
ur east coast
newt: so are you y/n
y/n: FINE BAD MORNING THEN ARE U HAPPY?
minho: drama queen is awake
newt: you’re the drama queen min let’s be fr
minho: u want me to die be honest
newt: see .
tommy: hey guys :3 been waiting for you all
y/n: awwww tommy <3 gm
tommy: morning sweetums
minho: ew stop
newt: how did you sleep?
tommy: good! used my new heated pillow
newt: not you
minho: not you
tommy: wtf
WHO THEN?? THERES LIKE 7 OTHER PPL IN HERE
minho: he means y/n
and there’s 4 other people not including newt and y/n dumbass
y/n: oh
why just me????
newt: cuz you stayed up til 6 am
y/n: ..
how do you know that
newt: i saw you were active on discord
gally: doesn’t that mean you were awake too then
newt: ok and?
minho: thats crazy newt
newt: no it isn’t
i just casually saw it
y/n: hehe
im ok i need to sleep more. sims 4 was really consuming me
why were you awake??
newt: up for work
minho: you get on discord before work?
chronically online..
newt: can you choke and pass out and hit your head please
minho: THE WAY U WANT ME DEAD IS INSANE
y/n: he’s gotta check on his discord hoes before hitting the grind
newt: there are no discord hoes
unless you count thomas
and i don’t
tommy: well why not
newt: because you disgust me
tommy: love u too :3<3
minho: y’all about to kiss aren’t you
newt: never say that shit again im outside your door with a b*mb
minho: why censor it
just blow me up it’s my grandmas house anyway. u want to jump her that bad????
gally: blow that bitch up i say
y/n: HELLO???!,!!
gally: minho not grandma
she loves me cuz im so tall
minho: tall people always gotta remind you they’re tall 😒
like we get it bigfoot
gally: shut up tinkerbell
y/n: you’re somewhat tall minho
minho: any man under 6’0 is considered short
y/n: yeah but newt is 6 ft trapped in a 5’10 body so not totally true
newt: what does that even mean
minho: give me a break
i can tell you exactly what that means
she wanna hit
newt: stop
tommy: don’t get his hopes up
newt: dude
stfu
y/n: what newt said
gally: can we appreciate the only one actually over 6 ft here
minho: no.
tommy: im the same height as newt!!!!
y/n: yea but ur like 3 ft trapped in a 5’10 body tommy not the same
tommy: oh ..
minho: kind of real
newt: can someone kick gally i’m tired of seeing his fucking name on my phone
gally: then turn your phone off don’t you have old ladies to tend to at the library
newt: yeah and they all love me
y/n: so real
if i was old i’d go in there and imagine you’re my young boyfriend and cling to everything u say
tommy: true im the old ladies
y/n: LMAO
minho: write a fanfic y/n why don’t you
newt: yeah you both are old and not beating the dementia allegations
y/n: IM THE YOUNGEST HERE
ur just mad you’re old as dirt
tommy: youth has left you newt and it has turn you bitter in your old age.
minho: thomas knows big words who knew
newt: which word in that sentence was big??
y/n: shut up minho
minho: wtf did i do
y/n: idk but i imagine you sitting there typing on your little phone and i got pissed
minho: WHAT???!.‘wKWHFO
newt: LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
yeah chubby little fingers hitting the wrong letters on his iphone 8
minho: im leaving
tommy: dont leave i forgive you for what you said
minho: i don’t give a damn
y’all mad y’all are all fake im the realest i’ve been prophesizing and reading scriptures 7000 years before y’all fake asses were born be so for real right now
y/n: not reading that
congrats
or sorry for what happened idk
about to drink my coffee in a wine glass
tommy: just drink wine
newt: it’s noon tommy??
tommy: ok and?
newt: explains a lot
minho: no coffee for me this new year only water and pussy juice fr fr
[ newt removed minho from the group ]
tommy: woah
y/n: woah..
newt: i can’t take it anymore
alby: How did you get that access..?
newt: don’t worry about it
in times of need i have to step in like that
y/n: hi alby!
alby: Hey y/n!
tommy: you’re such a hero newt
gally: that was deserved
who wants to play minecraft rn
y/n: me!!
alby: I’ll play, I’m off work today.
y/n: let’s go to the desert i want a camel
gally: alright but then the caves after i wanna mine
newt: if you mine with her you gotta bring extra food and storage when she dies so you can pick up the fallen items
gally: i forget you’re her designated babysitter
y/n: oh please no he isn’t
and i’ll bring my own food
newt: you always say that and then leave it in the stove oven
y/n: WELL I WONT THIS TIME
newt: sure ok
i’ll get on after work
[ alby added minho to the group ]
minho: when i get you.
newt: why did you add him back alby
alby: He was harassing me.
newt: be a man and take it
gally: im leaving
[ gally left the group ]
minho: im going to throw up and die
newt: im staying out of this
minho: (guy who caused it) im staying out of this
y/n: why does gally alwyas leave 😔
newt: why question a gift from the heavens
tommy: get online y/n gally is attacking my dirt house w a pickaxe :((((
y/n: NO IM COMING
minho: im coming to your work newt
newt: okay im locking the door early then
minho: i’ll smash through the glass idc
newt: i’m leaving my shift is over at 1 today.
minho: i’ll use life360 on you
newt: i deleted that app
minho: i’ll stand in the middle of the street
newt: ok let me position my car in front of you
just come to my apartment and we can play w them on pc and xbox
minho: …. fine but i hate your guts
newt: fine
y/n: HURRY GALLY IS ATTACKING MY SHED NOOOOWWW
newt: i’ll just rebuild it
minho: i’ll set it on fire just wait
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eldritch-nightmare · 6 months
Note
Liu and sully dating headcanond please 🥺👉👈
thank u anon i'm giving u a lil fist bump for sending this in <3 it might b a little short. just a tad. i hope u enjoy it nonetheless. <33 i was going to make a separate poly section but like. then i didn't. anyways i wrote this in one sitting. uhhh requests are opened also btw if anyone wants to send smth in <3
warnings: me being silly and deranged over liu and sully, mentions of guns, mentions of fire, mentions of religion, blasphemy???, blood, mentions of cannibalism, mentions of murder, i swear it's not dark sully is just. sully.
Liu.
dating?????? he knows nothing about it. no experience at all. a few crushes here and there when he was younger but... his priorities have been more-so dedicated to trying to kill his brother than being the next bachelor.
he probably doesn't even realize when he's developed feelings for someone, if we're being honest. there are only like... three sure-fire ways for him to realize he's got feelings for someone.
option a) sully. this is the most likely way, because sully is a solid(ly aggressive) wingman and would get fuckin annoyed seeing liu oblivious to his own feelings and would probably leave a note for liu to find that says something along the lines of 'ask them out before i do it for you'. that's certainly one way to make the man confront his feelings.
option b) you approach him first. be honest with your feelings, he's a really good listener. tell him how you want to go out on a date with him, or that you want him to be your boyfriend, whatever, it'll hit him in the face.
option c) patience. he'll figure it out one day on his own, just... it'll take time. and a lot of it.
anyways, using one of these three options laid out for you, you're sure to score a boyfriend! i hope you're not scared of fire. or guns. or... religion. those three things are pretty much a big part of him as a person, so.
but no yeah he's head over heels in love with you btw. the man would gift you the heavens itself if he could, but all he can give you are cute little trinkets that remind him of you.
he's so fucking romantic and he doesn't even try like. trust me. trust me on this guys please please you gotta believe me when i say this dude okay just like. trust me please.
he looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky. he'd probably be admiring you, resting his head on your lap while you play with his hair, your attention so focused on the show or movie playing. it's such a simple moment, but it's the one that makes him realize that he's in deep. like... wow. he's so in love with you.
he's a little hesitant to admit it, but you've become home. not because he hates it or anything like that, god, not at all. he's just... the last home he had was mercilessly ripped away from him. so pardon him for being a little scared. but you make him feel safe, and that's not something he's been able to feel in a long, long time.
liu doesn't murder without a reason. he actively avoids murdering people if he can. but he'd kill for you. whether or not that's something he's ready or willing to admit yet is up for debate but he would murder someone for you without any ounce of hesitation.
he's so willing to go out on dates w you btw. if you want to take a walk in the park, go see a movie, or whatever people do on dates then go ahead. he's legally dead in the eyes of the law. got a grave and everything, so he's not worried about being seen in public.
under the assumption that you know nothing about who he is, or his past, he's never going to tell you. all you'll ever know is that his parents were brutally murdered, he has a little brother that you... you think his brother is dead?? he talks about him as though he's dead. he almost died the same night his parents died, and his house burnt to the ground after. he's... really vague when he talks about his past. you'll never know the full extent, not unless the truth is forced upon you.
god i have so much more i want to add but i dont want this to get too long okay just. he's so in love with you. you've brought light back into his life, and he'll do everything in his power to keep you safe. he cannot lose you. yes we will ignore the thoughts i have of how he'd react if you did die lol. for now.
anyways he's the perfect boyfriend honestly <3
Sully.
also has no dating experience but he's not oblivious to his own feelings. the moment he decides that he cares about you a little more than he typically cares for another person, he's telling you.
he's so casual about it too, like. sir. how can you say 'yeah i think i could fall in love with you' with such a straight face?? you ask him that and he just shrugs.
i really hope you're comfortable with the sight of blood because trust the moment the two of you become an official couple, he's showing up at your place with injuries. nothing too bad, he'd hate to scare you like that, but just little things. like a gash of a knife on the palm of his hand. he has a really high pain tolerance but he'll act like the pain is utterly unbearable if it means having you help him treat it and kiss it better.
it's not like he actually needs you to take care of him. but he likes watching you. he likes watching the way you focus, carefully tending to his wounds, scared that you'll hurt him more if you're not careful. he likes watching the way his blood smears on your skin (totally by accident and not at all on purpose).
definitely the type to bite your lip just a little too hard when kissing you just so he can taste your blood. he thinks it's romantic idk the guy is kind of a freak (affectionately)
he'd probably eat you if he could but then he'd miss you too much so :( no cannibalism. but he thinks cannibalism is romantic guys. feel like i need to state that. he says 'i would eat you' but in a loving, romantic, affectionate way.
he never really understood religion, nor did he care much for it. he understood that it was a big part of liu's life, and therefore something he encounters often, but it wasn't until he started dating you that he understood. there must be some god or deity out there because heaven is wherever you're at.
you must be an angel, because how else could you love someone like him? he'd never pray to god, but god, he could pray to you all day.
and fuck, he thinks about corrupting you, dragging an angel like you down to his hell.
he can picture it now, tears streaming down your face, shaking in fear as you kill someone for the first time. their blood staining your hands and clothes as you drop the knife, horrified by what you've done while sully pulls you into a hug and tells you that you did such a good job.
i've already said this but sully likes watching you. you could be doing nothing at all, or someone could be talking to him. doesn't matter. the moment you're in the same room as him, he's staring at you.
you don't know why he does it, and he never gives you an answer when you ask. he just smiles.
you'd never think this, but sully is scared of you dying. people are so fragile, it doesn't take much to kill them. he's... he's never been scared before, and it... excites him. of course you're the one to make him feel this way. it could never be anyone else. anyways don't die. he'll be sad if you do.
was actually shocked when it clicked that he loved you. like... yeah, he said he could fall in love with you but. fucking wow it actually happened. holy shit.
anyways he tells you like .5 seconds after. he adapts to his emotions very quickly. the guy just casually says, 'hey, i'm in love with you.' and just stares until you respond with 'i'm in love with you too' and then he just has this small smile on his face for like... the rest of the day.
would also murder for you btw. no hesitation, no questions asked. if you want someone dead, he's killing them for you. clearly, they deserve to be dead if you hated them enough to wish for it.
solid boyfriend material but only if you're okay with. him. as a person.
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pastadoughie · 7 months
Text
incase 1 of you needs 2 hear this :
a)
ai art is shitty and explotative, and while i dont think that neural networks are bad as a concept, they can be done ethically, but at this point every single large company that has ai shit is doing it in an extremely shitty way. art that is posted on the internet isnt yours to steal and make profit off of. you do not get to take the art of unconsenting random internet users, throw it into a shredder, and sell 7.99 a month subscription packadges for people to be able to eat some of the dust it spits out.
while i previously was more lax on people on reposting my art so long as they credited me, i ask that you not fucking repost my art, under any circumstance if you are on a platform that is scraping art, or on a site that is not properly set up to deal with scraping. the only acception to this is commisions where you have explicitly asked me.
this includes tumblr.
b)
reposting without credit is always bad, even if you dont know who to credit. you should under no circumstance be posting artwork that isnt your own without giving people a way to see the artist, and you need to link it in a way that is ACTUALLY USEFUL, give multiple links to multiple platforms, do not use 3rd party link shorteners, include mirrors and archive captures, provide a plain text spelling of usernames for every platform you link to, ask for explicit permission of the artist, opt out of any ai generation tools. or if you are on a platform that does not allow for this do not post it at all, and you have to have all of this very clearly visable and easily readable
if that is too much effort for you then you shouldnt be posting it. with literally zero exceptions.
c)
biological sex is not real and people can do whatever the fuck they want with their own bodies, even if you deem it as "self harm". under no circumstance should you take away peoples bodily autonomy, someone could literally be sawing their arms off for funsie wunsies and i would still say they need to have freedom and privacy, and it is ultimatly THEIR call what they do with themselves.
gender is similarly also not fucking real, people can dress however they want, fuck whoever they want, and use whatever words to describe themself with that they want. and if you think that boys wearing dresses or some shit is somehow harming you then you are ligitimately fucking pathetic. if i fucking ran a political campain saying everybody wearing a scarf was a pedo and a rapist and we need to ban scarfs forever would you fucking vote for me? are you that scared of people being able to? do what they want? jesus.
d)
genocide is bad. regardless of who does it.
regardless of the scale of cruelty, there is nothing that a group of people from a certain state, ethnicity, religeon, ect, can do that justifies murdering civilians. there is never a justification for genocide.
implying, under any circumstance, that someone is somehow evil for their background, appearance, religous beliefs, country of origin, sexuality, gender, ect. is shitty or worthy of violence because of that is, and i cannot stress this enough, fucking disgusting. nazi shit. even.
e)
i do not support zionism. i do not support antisemitism. i do not support racism.
also the iof is actively commiting a genocide. you should donate to a relief fund for people currently suffering from this, as well as call your house and senate members. as have i.
f)
people often times claim that people they dislike, largely minorities, are pedos or rapists or something of the sort. this is something that has been happening for, and i cannot stress this enough. all of fucking history. people were fucking saying these exact points, verbatim, to argue in favor of SLAVERY okay? if you are spouting the exact same shit as fucking nazis and colonizers and slave traders, then consider, you are a horrible fucking person.
you have to be EXTRODENARILY SKEPTICAL when accusing a minority of a serious crime, and spreading information about it. because if a bigot can just say "oh theyre a pedo" and you believe them at FACE VALUE then guess what? you are just as much of a bigot as they are. minorities are people, and people do terrible things, but just like you should be doing with EVERYBODY, you should be actually looking into things before you accuse someone of being a shit person, and often times, you are not knowlagable enough about someone to make those kinds of claims anyway.
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wjhik · 9 months
Text
Any More? (Virgil Van Dijk) *Smut*
A/N: we need more big virg writers because this is criminal
based on:
7:40-8:05
youtube
Y/N’s POV: 
“So, any more kids on the way?” My aunt asks me. Virgil and I are visiting my family at my mom's house, and, as per usual, my auntie is interrogating me. “Auntie, I just had a baby a year and a half ago. No harm in taking a break.” I say, juggling our youngest daughter in my arms while reaching for her pacifier. “Don’t you want to try for a boy?” I roll my eyes at that comment. Virgil and I are more than happy with our 3 girls. I simply shrug at her, attempting to ignore her old ways. “Wouldn’t you love a boy to carry on your legacy, Virgil?”, referring to his football career. I look at Virgil, waiting for his answer. “Anything my sons could do, my daughters can as well.” He calmly explains, quickly shutting down her bogus remarks. 
“Kids, come on. We have to go.” I say to my two older girls. “No, mama! Can we stay over? Please??” The oldest begs. “Please, mama. Everyone is staying over with Teta (grandma), can we too??” My secondborn says. I look at Virgil, expecting some backup. “Hey, maybe it’s not such a bad idea. The baby is already asleep, why wake her up?” Virgil says. I look over to my lastborn who is asleep on my mom’s couch. I look up in both frustration and contemplation. “Y/N, they’re more than welcome to stay over.” My mom chimes in. I look down at my daughters looking up at me with pleading eyes. I look to my right to see my husband looking down at me, something behind his eyes that I can’t pinpoint. I look to my left to see my mom playing with the other kids. 
“Alright, fine.” I say which is followed by an eruption of screams and cheers from my daughters then followed up by shushing from my husband, pointing to their sleeping younger sister. 
“Bye, babygirls. I love you and be good!” I say as Virgil ushers me out of my childhood home. We walk down the driveway as Virgil goes on about his day, upcoming games, his co-captaincy with Trent, etc as I listen. He opens the car door of his Mercedes and helps me in. 
“So, first night away from the girls. How do you feel?” Virgil asks me, breaking our comfortable silence. “I’m more nervous for my mom, to be fair. You know how tired we get with 3 girls. Imagine what my mom’s going through with 8 of them.” I joke. “I’m sure she’ll be fine. I mean, she raised you.” Virgil replies. “Yeah, but I was the only girl in my family.” I say. “I’m sure you alone were worse than those 8 girls.” I quickly smack Virgil’s chest with the back of my hand, which was previously resting in his, on my lap. “Hey, I’m driving! That’s a hazard.” I roll my eyes at my far too sassy husband.  
“Sweetheart, we’re home.” I hear as I’m shaken awake. “Hmm? Okay, I’m up.” I say groggily. I throw my arms up in a stretch, unknowingly hitting my husband in the face. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry, Virg.” I say, laughing as he rubs his eyes. 
“The house feels odd empty and quiet. It’s as if we don’t have 3 ticking time bombs in bed.” I comment, making my way up the stairs with Virgil following close behind. “It’s almost like that’s what it is.” Virgil retorts. I look down at him and stuck my tongue out playfully. I turn my head to look in front before I feel a grab on my ass. I slightly jump as I hear a deep giggle from below me. 
Virgil and I are lying in bed together after performing our nightly routines. Virgil has his head in my lap as I sat up and braid his hair, engrossed in the snobby activities of the Dubai Bling cast (best reality show idgaf). “Can you believe Ebrahem? He’s doing way too much.” I comment. (guys i love this show you dont understand. You should all watch it) “Baby?” I heard Virgil say. “Hmm?” I replied. “Let’s do something fun.” He comments. “Hmm? Oh, yeah sure.” I say absentmindedly, focused on my show. Virgil reaches over for the TV remote and turns it off. “HEY!” Virgil is taken aback by my volume and tone of voice. “Sorry, but what the fuck? It was getting so good.” I say. “Did you hear me?” Virgil says. “What did you say?” I ask, taking a sip of my wine. “I said let’s have some fun.” Virgil says suggestively. He sits up and takes the wine out of my hand. He reaches over to my side table and flicks off the lamp, leaving only the recently installed LEDs in our room on. Virgil leans over me and pulls me into a heated kiss. I lowly moan into my husband’s skilled lips. “Hold on.” He says, pulling away. 
Virgil reaches around for his phone. He quickly connects it to our built-in and extremely overpriced home sound system he insisted we needed and plays our shared sex playlist which, unfortunately, we haven’t been able to use nearly enough, having to keep quiet due to our daughters.  
I look up at my husband who is now on top of me. “Seriously?” I say questioning his choice of music. “What? You like it and you know it.” He says as he leans in to kiss me once again. “Mmh, Virg…” I say in between kisses. “What do you need, mama?” He whispers into my ear. “You.” I whisper back. He gets off me and takes off his shirt and leans back in to kiss me. I run my nails up and down his sides which makes him shiver. Virgil slowly kisses down my chin, onto my neck. He sucks on the sensitive spot behind my ear. “Oh, fuck. Virg…” I mewl, grabbing onto his hair, loosely tied, contrary to his slicked-back look during the day. I feel him release his suction on my neck and give my fresh bruise a light kiss. 
Virgil slides himself down my body to where I need him most. He undoes my house robe to reveal me in my panties. He taps my hips, signaling me to lift them up so he can take off my clothes. He comes back up and starts sucking on my nipple, rolling the other in his hand. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful.” He says into me. “Virgil, please. I need you.” I say, my chest heaving. I sit up underneath him, and he gets off me. I pull him to sit on the bed while I get on the carpeted floor, in between his legs. “Can I?” I ask him, pressing on his hard-on through his sweatpants. He lets out a light laugh at me still asking him every single time, without fail, despite all the years together. “Of course, sweetheart.” With his permission, I pull his trousers and underwear down, enough for his dick to spring out at me. 
I let out a sigh as I looked at my husband's horse-cock. (lol im so funny) Virgil grabs the back of my head gently and looks down at me. “Well, go on then, love.” He says encouragingly. I slowly sink my mouth onto him as he groans. I try to go as deep as I can without gagging, however it is inevitable. My eyes start watering as I’m slobbering over Virgil's dick. He pulls me off him and holds my chin up. He leans down and kisses me before pushing me down on him. I bob my head on his dick and suck on his tip, earning a hearty moan from Virgil. “Fuck, love, you keep going like that we’re gonna be done real soon.” He says, pulling me up. 
I climb up my abnormally big husband and give him a sloppy kiss and move to kiss his neck. He gently grabs my neck and makes me face him. I stare into his eyes, very obviously drunk off his dick. I let out a giggle and kiss him more. He grabs me and places me on the bed and turns me onto my stomach. I hear him ridding himself of his remaining clothes behind me. Before I know it, one of his hands lands on my ass, making me yelp. He laughs and leans down to kiss me. I turn my head back and our lips meet. He pulls away and opens the drawer next to our bed. He pulls out a bottle of lube we often use when having sex and squeezes it in his hand. He strokes his dick with it, getting it wet. Then, squeezes some directly onto me, knowing that I like how it feels against me. I hiss at the feeling. “Mmm, it’s cold…” I say. “I know, baby.” Virgil says, lining himself up with me. 
He pushes into me as I let my head drop into the pillow. “Mmm, Fucckkk…” Virgil moans. “You’re so big, Virgil.” I say, clinging onto my husband’s arm, which is propping him up. “Can I-” I quickly interrupt him. “Yes, please. Please fuck me.” He lets out a laugh. “Always so needy for me.” He starts thrusting in and out at a brutal pace. I let out all sorts of erotic noises before I put my hand over my mouth to silence myself. Virgil quickly notices this. “Hey, I wanna hear all those pretty noises. There’s no girls, you don’t have to be quiet.” He reminds me. I remove my hand from my mouth and let myself feel good. 
“Fuck, Virg- I’m gonna cum..” I say, my voice shaking as he pounds into me. “Hmm, already?” He teases. “Viirrrgg!” I half moan half yell. “I’m just kidding. Cum for me, sweetheart. I wanna feel you around me.” He encourages me through my orgasm. “Fuck, I’m close too, baby.” He says, as he relentlessly fucks me, searching for his high. Just as I feel him beginning to spasm, something hits me. “Wait, Virgil. Pull ou-” But I was too late. Virgil fucked me down from his high. He collapsed into my back. “Virg, get off. I can’t breathe.” I laugh. 
Virgil is resting on my chest after he cleaned us up. “Hey, maybe your aunt is right. Another wouldn’t hurt.” He says. “Oh, so that was your ulterior motive.” I say disappointedly. “Virgil pokes me in my side, knowing I’m not serious. “I’m just kidding. I would love to have another baby with you.” 
A/N: always happy with domestic smuts 😋😋
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Text
okay i know i dont make a lot of star wars posts because i'm terrified of the fandom. but i like to analyze my favorite characters to improve my writing and i came across something that i haven't heard anyone mention before and its so obvious that i'm losing my mind
(DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NOT READ THE ASCENDANCY SERIES (CANNOT AFFORD IT ATM), I AM NOT A PART OF THE FANDOM, I AM JUST A CASUAL ENJOYER WHO LIKES TO YAP. i have a basic idea of the plot but idk the specifics, im just going off of what i've seen in the base canon trilogy)
has anyone else noticed that Thrawn is actually insane. i mean that, for all intents and purposes Thrawn is mentally fucked up even before he joined the empire. it's just so well written because of how he acts and how he's not like Kylo or Anakin because he's not emotionally charged
okay so we meet Thrawn for the first time, yeah. we get some basic need-to-know stuff: cold, calculating, emotionally reserved, wicked smart, probably autistic, extremely patient. you get that he knows exactly what he's doing and how to do it, and over the course of the books you find out what it is.
which is where it starts. his only goal in life, what he literally says is the sole reason for his existence, is to protect the Ascendancy. but they have made it very clear that they do not want that because the shit he does goes against what they stand for, yet he still continues to do it. he even says that he doesn't expect their gratitude or permission. he fully intends to keep doing what he's doing even if they actively reject him. why? because it's his home, the only one that he's ever known. and he's completely unwilling to go and learn another one. because he is fucking insane
i love how Thrawn's mental state is written so much because it's not what you typically expect from insane characters and it's not even like he's trying to hide it under a facade. how he acts isn't a mask, that's just how he truly is, and his unhinged motives are just seamlessly connected to it with nothing to hide behind. its such a great and unique way to write a character and i think i should point that out (sorry to the people who followed for legend of zelda stuff lmao. my house)
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