#and im moving in may. which im so incredibly stressed about. there's so much to do and soooo little time to do it

[get-more-bald]

when you're an inherently bad person🤪

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

.

[ccircusclwn]

are.you.an.angel..

I've been looking for AleNoah as dads my entire life man!!! You're like.. sent from above!!

..

wait how did they get MK then..

did Noah and Emma have MK then divorce, and then Noah gained custody..or is she just adopted..

I don't know if you mind me doing this but like,

I like to imagine :3.. that Aleheather broke up and Nemma actually got married but divorced so then MK is just like..there. Then boom Noah and Alejandro meet again and they're like "btw did you know in World Tour I loved you" "fr!? Me.me too!" "do you wanna get married" "yea!!!!"

yea. (I may have gotten Raj into the mix..bleh.)

Wow this is incredibly long sorry about that drink water and have a lovely day!!!!!

-⏰

OKAY I ACCIDENTALLY MAY IR MAY HAVE NOT MADE A CHART THAT EXPLAINS THE AU THANKS TO THIS ASK (IN MY EYES) !!

i personally dont like the idea of the women in the respective relationships abandoning the men to let them be gay w each other, esp since so many people that write similar things end up making emma just straight up abandon the family cause of stress. its way too convinient yknow, jst my opinion, and it makes emma look bad (which shes way too awesome) i think she would be very close w the mudaliar-burromuerto family but as a close friend/honorary aunt sorta way.

but your idea of the au is cool! i like it.

this is kinda of like a long answer to your question being like. how did they have mk.....

okay so.

how did they end up together? i inspired myself from a fic that is literally just noah being alejandro's only visitor in the hospital post-WT. they become friendly and, since the burromuerto family sees alejandro as an embarrassment for being too vulnerable and letting himself lose the million dollars in front of many people, leaving him being kicked out, they eventually end up moving together! its kind of a slowburn college romance if im being honest. and once theyre juniors/seniors in college, they end up getting together.

so. hooow do they adopt mk? since its from birth? wouldnt they be super young? EXACTLY

theyre young parents due to alejandro being pressured from his side of the family to at least get a child if he's going to keep being a failure. this hurts ale deeply and he genuinely starts to panic, thinking he should raise a kid as soon as possible. he manages to convince noah that its true baby fever and that they'll be wonderful parents, even though normally "ideal" parents marry and then have children.

they search for a while and eventually come across someone who was thinking of adoption whilst pregnant, and the three of them worked very hard to make it possible. so in 2007, MK is born, and adopted into the mudaliar-burromuerto family. (i do not know SHIT about adoption so i wont make much detail about it)

of course, not being married and having a child was also critizised, so they quickly married around a year or two later. (it took a while to cut the burromuerto family out of his life, but back then ale was very young and very easily manipulated by his family)

so, around 6 years later, they adopt another kid, which was already a year old, but who really didnt have a name. he was dropped off at an orphanage when he was around 6 months old, but he didnt seem to be registrated anywhere. ale n noah, curious, took on the role to foster care this kid and came up w a name for him, which alejandro chose, nicolás. they adopted him soon after

so yeah full story!!! may be susceptible to change!! wahoo!!

[equallyshaw]

So I lay in your arms and pretend that it's love | trevor zegras.

based off olivia rodrigo's song- scared of my guitar!

trevor x singer nameless oc!

not too sure if i wanna do gif's or pictures like that above..trying something new out (:

word count: 2.3k+

warnings: tbh, she's toxic...pls dont be like her.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

◦

Perfect, easy, so good to me So why's there a pit in my gut in the shape of you? Distract myself, say it's somethin' else Maybe I'm just overwhelmed, maybe I'm confused

◦

for around 11 months it was pure bliss...the two of them everywhere and anywhere. onlookers looked on with smiles and hushed whispers about how 'in love' they were. the two of them moved quickly in their relationship, but nobody found anything weird with it based on how their friends watched them and how they spoke about one another in the media when asked. trevor loved bringing home flowers whenever he came back from a roadie, or just because he felt like it. he showered her with gifts from the get-go as her own life was beginning to fill with riches, as her music career took off.

but once the 1 year mark was coming closer and closer, she began to feel a sense of dread. a sense of anxiety and fear, she hadn't had before. whenever she heard his name in passing or whenever somebody asked her about him, she'd freeze and stutter; not sure what to exactly say. or what was weirder, was that she spent more and more time at her apartment in la and not at his newport house...claiming that the record label was hounding her for an album and she was working day and night, like a dog. she did whatever she could in order to not think about him may it be hanging with friends, driving up and down the coast to san diego to visit family and taking spur of the moment trips with her friends. and when people asked her what was wrong or what she was thinking about, she'd always say 'work' and every white lie that came with that topic.

but when she see's trevor sporadically, she understands why she fell in love with him in the first place. he's charming, relentlessly nerdy, incredibly kind and respectful; all of which she adores. and while basking in that feeling for a bit of time, she feels guilty about how her feelings change when she's not with him. she then chalks it up to work, and how much pressure the label is giving her. so maybe just maybe, she'll stick it out with trevor.

◦

Barely sleep when you sleep next to me

But I keep thinkin' I'll find a cure

I say that I'm fine, I tell you all the time

I've never felt so happy and sure

◦

shortly after their one year, as she stays with trevor about once or twice a week, she can't help but toss and turn all night. claiming she's just stressed and overly exhausted, and he buys it all. he buys all her, "I've never been happier" or "I've never felt so sure about something in my entire life". he buys the, "once im done with the album ill move in with you." too, yet she knows they wont last. that sickening and dreadful feeling that keeps her up at night.

she goes to all of these lengths just to keep her heart from collapsing and her conscious from crumbling above her, and yet she knows right from wrong. she know's that the one that would be hurt the most is him.

◦

But I'm so scared of my guitar'

Cause it cuts right through to the heart

Yeah, it knows me too well so I got no excuse

I can't lie to it the same way that I lie to you

◦

but then when she sits down to write and come up with the chords for a song, she cant help but cry. everything becoming too much for her, her closest friends and producer seeing right through her. her music speaking the words, she can't help but think but not say. she knows that if she lies in a song, she'd be betraying her heart and her soul. her music being her lifelong love and escape, would truly affect her relationship with it.

◦

So I lay in your arms and pretend that it's love

◦

around a year and five months, she stopped writing. she stopped playing her guitar until the early morning hours. she stopped recording, citing that she was dealing with some personal issue. once the acknowledgment of 'oh shit, i need to break things off- soon' hit her mind one day during a writing session, she knew she couldn't write or sing until she did just that. and so she made her way down the coast to newport to do just that, but when she walked inside she saw a doe-eyed and blissful trevor in her midst. she crumbled right then and there, allowing him to make their way to the bedroom. she laid in his arms, not being able to fall asleep once again; and reminding herself that she loved trevor .. or at least needed to remind herself more. was it though? at least on her part?

◦

I was ravin', no boy like you I had the nerve to just stop stringin' you all along But I'm not half as decent as you I'd rather be tied to someone, even if they're wrong

◦

trevor was the guy, she thought when they first met. she thought that they were end game and would go to the absolute ends of the galaxy to believe that, to show and make people believe it too. and after some point, she felt guilty about stringing him along and talking about their future plans together. another morning she stopped by abruptly on her way from san diego, she knew she had to break things off with him. yet when she arrived at his place, she found him making breakfast and the brightest smile she hadn't seen in awhile. he went along and continued with his breakfast but not before making a cup of coffee for her and a extra serving of his breakfast for her. before leading her over to the dining room table and held her hand as they ate. guilt crept up her spine as she looked at him, talking about something that had happened on a road trip and she felt a pang in her heart. she was a coward. rather than break the band aid and say what she'd wanted to say for months now...she let him continue to speak.

he was a better person than she was, she thought. he would have ended things a long time ago if he'd felt what she'd felt or thought. he wouldn't have continued to string her along. he was a good person like that. but her? she was half the person he was, he was a good person with good intentions. the culprit?

she didn't want to be alone.

◦

I make excuses, my friends know the truth is I'm not as alright as I claim I say that I'm fine, I tell them all the time As they watch all the life fade away

◦

the life was draining from her and her friends watched as it did. she was hiding herself away in her los angeles apartment, shortly after she stopped writing. they were all rightfully concerned with her mental health and wouldn't take the 'im fine's!" she hurled at them time and time again. they even reached out to trevor and even he could not get her to come out of her shell. though, he never got the full story of why she was like that. he dropped around unannounced before and after practice, sometimes staying the night but most times slipping out after she'd fallen asleep. but not without a soft kiss to her temple, and tiptoeing out. his family and friends grew concerned when he opted to stay in newport for the offseason. by the offseason, she'd gone back into the studio and pushed through. the studio eating up whatever she had written, and loved it all.

◦

I pretend that it's love, love

'Cause what if I never find anything better? The doubt always creeps through my mind So we'll stay together 'cause how could I ever Trade somethin' that's good for what's right?

◦

with no end in sight, she continued to push through with the relationship, trying to get back to how things were before when she was without a doubt, happy and in love. when trevor does finally leave the sunshine state to go visit family and friends, she stays up thinking about her and trevor's future. would she find anybody better than him? would she find the love that they shared early in their relationship? would she find somebody almost as arrogantly confident? somebody with an infinite passion for what they do? their (affectionately) dumb friends who adored her? and somebody with a zest for life? her journals filled to the brim that summer with what had been eating her up inside.

when trevor comes back right before the season begins, he take's her out to malibu one early morning before the sunrise. she was groggy and tired from the night before, and so when she was awoken abruptly she groaned; trying to desperately to go back to bed. trevor said that he wanted to go for a sunrise and she hummed, thinking he'd go by himself. but instead, he tickled her enough to wake her up and she dreaded getting out of bed. they drove up to malibu that September 2nd, and held one another as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. he bit the inside of his cheek, body filled with nerves and anxiety. he whispered her name to begin with, and in the most trevor and most un trevor way, he proposed. she turned around to see him with tears in his eyes and visible anxiety washed over his features. she smiled softly feeling the inside of her scream to say no and beg her to leave the life she grown used to the past mere months. her smile grew wider and faker, as she said yes. trevor had gotten her dream ring from new york, and she gushed as he pulled it out. tears swelled her eyes as she felt her heart tug at the effort he'd made for her. she was going to show him the same effort as well, even if it hurt her to no end.

◦

her record label demanded an ep of some new songs they knew she undoubtedly had written after she got engaged. her album release was a massive success, going #1 and platinum in many countries. her career was reaching new heights and she was engaged? she was the it girl everybody wanted to be. yet she felt so very far from it, but kept that signature smile on at all times.

she felt herself buy into the idea of marrying trevor when she saw how excited her family was when they showed up to a private dinner the very evening of her album released. they gushed and gushed over the ring and endless possibilities her and trevor could have together. she saw how good both of their families bonded and got along with one another. she could feel the pride and gratitude that oozed off of trevor that night. he loved - no absolutely adored this life the universe had bespoked upon him. the singer was just another addition. he thought he had everything before they met, but when he saw her get absolutely hammered at a party they were both invited to; he was enamored. the grace she carried herself with when dancing, talking, singing and most importantly; the love she oozed for her friends was intoxicating. he could not and never wanted to get enough of it.

the look he gave her that night was one she'd never, ever forget in this lifetime. it was how all girls wished to be looked at. the one that would spare nothing to make their partner happy. the one where you know they'd go to the ends of the earth for you and with you. it was as if she hung the moon and the stars for him.

who would pass that up?

◦

I let the thought in, it's already done

◦

she brought into the idea of going through with the wedding after the release party and found herself immersed in wedding planning. she found herself non stop traveling with trevor that summer, after a serious playoff run. she found herself thinking of their future together because lets be honest, it was there. and she couldn't help but get excited just a bit when trevor had said, that she was going to be most beautiful bride and future mom to ever grace this planet. she looked at him through the mirror and again that look, captivated and brought her in.

◦ But I lay in your arms and pretend that it's love Yeah, I lay in your arms and pretend it's enough

◦

their wedding was a dream. an absolute dream. hollywood and hockey royalty showed up and showed out. the wedding of all weddings. they danced the night away to taylor swift. then as a surprise, trevor and his groomesman shamelessly, did a group dance to one of her upbeat songs as she sat there blushing like a fool, covering her face in embarrassment. they spent the night basking in everybody's presence, the singer not having a second to spare a second thought about what was going to be coming in the next few months. she knew that the world and everybody in their lives would be asking about kids and what not. yet, she pushed that towards the back of her mind. she played the role of a loving and adoring newlywed. she smiled to the camera's as if there was no tomorrow. her friends actually believing that she was happy and that she had found her way back to trevor. and in a way, that was true. she felt stuck with no way out.

the couple retreated back to the ritz carlton new york hotel suite, with a bottle of very expensive champagne, thin slice pizza and new york cheesecake. after stuffing their faces in between making out, the two fell asleep. or at least trevor did. the singer looked up at the ceiling, wide awake and unable to sleep. she had played the part this long...what was another ten?

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

umm....sorry about that! part two is coming at some point because i wanna hurt myself even more lmao...

please like and reblog if you did and id love to hear your thoughts too!

tags: @cuttergauthier @zegrasbabyyy @hockeyboysarehot @slafgoalskybaby @sc0tters @sweetestdesire @jayda12 @starshine-hockey-girl @cellythefloshie

[v3nusxsky]

Hi Mars! I'm not doing so well again unfortunately, it's because of school again, i have mid-terms in a month or so and it's really fucked me up, I constantly feel guilty whenever I'm not studying and I also started feeling like a fraud since so many people think I'm so intelligent but I actually just study a lot and I feel like I'm cheating all of them, can I request a leonora lesso x reader fic w comfort for this maybe w a verse from the song 'blow my brains out' - (sometimes the truth is just your point of view, not what is real and not what is true) that verse has really helped me because I tend to assume I'm a failure to everybody and no one could ever be proud of me but in reality that may not be true, just a part of my fears

Thank you so much if you do decide to write this, and if you don't, that's okay too!

Have a wonderful day either way and here's a bouquet of flowers for you 💐 <3

Only you know the truth

*Authors note ~ I hope this is okay for you darling and anyone else who is struggling*

Trigger warnings~ stressed out reader

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

Exam season was always though. You were a perfectionist at heart, and often stressed yourself out unnecessarily. This exam season was important you knew that, and being a never, Lady Lesso had made it clear that anyone who fails would have one on one meetings with her to figure out why they had. Truly, you knew that the two deans were incredibly anxious, both trying to beat one another in the end of year tests.

For days you would lock yourself in your dorm room, head buried in mountains of revision. Other Nevers didn't seem to bothered by it but you? It was all you could think about. Your attention and energy all focused around these tests. Sometimes you wished you could let someone stand in your shoes, and see how they would handle this at stress. If only you could.

A few days before the tests were due to begin, Lady Lesso asked you to stay behind d and you immediately panicked. You always try to be perfect and with the stress of the tests had you failed? You remained sat at your desk while she strutted around the room. "Sweetheart, you've been acting differently recently, what's going on?"

"Nothing, im fine. I just have a lot of revision to do" you mumbled avoiding her gaze. You couldn't admit that you just wished to make her proud of you, that was so un never like. "It's the tests isn't it?" She retorted and you wondered how she knew that instantly. Had you really been that obvious?

"I just want to do well, I don't want to let you down Lesso. I want to help us win" you explained still avoiding her gaze, picking at your finger nails in an anxious tick. "Sweetheart" she murmured moving to stand in front of your desk, "you're one of my best students. I have no doubt you will do well. I'm truly proud to have you on the evil side." Her words causing your brain to lag slightly. Proud? Of you?

The confusion was evident on your face which caused her to explain further. "Sweetheart, you put too much pressure on yourself, you have the knowledge it's all there. And as much as I adore your need to please me, I can think of many other ways you can do so. Like eating and sleeping and achieving a good balance between life and school." You nodded along feeling a stray tear roll down your cheek. "Lesso, I just I don't want to disappoint" you whimpered stifling a yawn. Truly, you were tired and you didn't realise how much so. It was exhausting to be this much of an a perfectionist. Trying to earn the praise of everyone and please everyone. It truly was hard. Yet here listening to Lesso's words, you finally felt like you were enough. You didn't have to fight so hard because you were already impressing Leonora. All you had to do was make sure to look after yourself so you could continue being her best student.

Word count~ 718

[ohmygodletmesignup]

***Im pretty sure all the platforms are right

here are some DP fic ratings i’ve been working on! spoilers may be ahead!

-I can’t believe it’s not evil! (2fruity4u, AO3)

9/10. only 4 chapters, i wish it was longer. it was super cute and in character for the most part. good amount of detail but not too much, kinda like a long one shot. idk i thought it was a cute, light, easy read

-The Crossroads Betwixt Life and Death (History101, Fanfiction.net)

10/10. oh my god i love this fic. pretty much everything was written in character which is a major thing for me. the process of grief was written extraordinarily well, though maybe it was a little fast. also the therapist parts were very accurate. the fic was really long which i loved (36 chapters). it was clearly very well thought out and it made a lot of sense. i got a lot of dad!vlad content that was also very in character. though the author included a few oc’s, they weren’t annoying and didn’t get in the way, which was very nice. and despite the fact i think they were there to move the plot along, they were well thought out characters. i also liked the ending as well, quite satisfying.

-Grandfather Clocks (Fiverivers, AO3)

8/10. really cute and fluffy one(ish) shots. all of it was dad clockwork and danny, it was adorable and i loved it sm.

-Adoption (Fiverivers, fanfiction.net)

9/10. i really wished it was longer cause i absolutely loved the dynamic between Clockwork and Danny, and fluff in this fic. it was super cute and though a little dark, a pretty easy and lighter read than some of the other fics i’ve read. kinda really needed it.

-Masks + Plunge (Cordria/x, AO3)

9/10. the idea of lancer basically trapping danny in the school with him was a little odd, but that’s my only “complaint”, if you could even call it one. Honestly, this fic was wonderfully written, the frustration of Lancer and the patience of Danny was very funny to me, especially since it seemed so out of character but so in character at the same time. i was frustrated with Lancer not figuring Danny out, but not to the point of unbearable annoyance. i loved how Danny only told lancer after he thought lancer already knew, and lancers realizations. this fic really brought out the father/son relationship the two have, and i really enjoyed it, despite there only being about 8 chapters in total.

-Wondering (Phantomrose96/x AO3)

11/10. this fic was absolutely stunning. everything that anyone did in the fic was thought out and had a reason behind it. the amount of detail was disgusting, and i had to take a break while reading this because it was so incredibly descriptive, i loved it. the progression of time and emotions was so realistic, and when Danny was forced to go home/to school, i fully understood how he felt in regards to him being exhausted, stressed, and anxious, but having no choice but to go. this fic was so real and logical in ways i don’t think i can describe. it’s definitely one i won’t forget and i was extremely satisfied with the ending. this fic gave a lot of things i haven’t really seen in other fics, and it felt very refreshing.

-Lab Rat (AnneriaWings/x AO3)

7/10. i don’t know if it’s just me, but this fic felt a little rushed. it felt similar to Wondering, but there were a few key differences that i did like. the fic was only about 4 chapters, which i honestly don’t mind, Masks and Plunge were also about 4 chapters each, but this one didn’t feel as detailed. however, Jazz and Jack felt very in character (except maybe when Jazz tried forcing Danny to talk to their parents), which is something that’s hard to do sometimes, but it was done very well here. Danny’s PTSD was also written very well. as a teenager with PTSD, reading his reactions felt very accurate and familiar. mental illnesses, especially ones you don’t suffer from personally can be extremely difficult to write, but again, it was written very accurately (based on my own experiences of course), and i appreciate it a lot.

-The Trouble with Ghosts (Lynse, AO3)

11/10. oh my god this fic was GORGEOUS! It was clearly very well thought out and had familiar components laid out in a unique way. everything anyone did had intent behind it, and it was explained fabulously. i have to admit, there were a few parts where explanations got a bit long and i got a bit confused, but honestly that’s all the complaints i have. the amount of detail wasn’t too little or too much, and this fic was extremely well balanced and written. i absolutely loved all the character dynamics here, and i loved the in-depth looks at how Danny reacted to being phantom from Lancer’s view. id absolutely love to see more of this author.

[b4byb4ts]

ive been gone for SO so long but i think i want to start using this acc as like a but of a diary type thing--

so.. last time i was here i was super deep in my ed and going through a LOT of shit.. since then i accidentally recovered from my ed, not as much mentally but i have gained,,all of the weight i lost back,, i eat pretty "normal" but i still feel incredibly guilty and feel like the "i never want to eat again" type feelings..

i lost one of my closest friends bc of my ed, and though it has completely destroyed me,, honestly it was probably for the best, its part of why i recovered. he told me he didnt think i would ever recover after he tried to force me to and i said i didnt want to, but after that we stopped talking (his choice not mine) and i at first took it as a "okay well im going to get as sick as i possibly can" but then realized that was what he wanted so i instead forced myself to recover fully out of spite as a big "fuck you" to him.. and i even tried to tell him thinking fkr some reason he would care. he didnt. i got a thumbs up and a good luck along with the most like.. "youre a waste of space" type of look ive ever gotten. and it COMPLETELY destroyed me.

moving on... i got a new job at a v popular coffee shop in my town and its absolutely amazing, everyone i work with is absolutely lovely and i just love it so so much.

I also got back with my boyfriend and ive never been happier in a relationship, im absolutely sure that he is "the one" like i trust him more than my own mother and im more comfortable around him than anyone ive ever been with before everything is just so so lovely.

not that everything has been perfect like it sounds though,,, im still not mentally recovered, again, better than before, but still not great,, i constantly crave my ed like i want to relapse so bad i just,, cant for some reason,,?

more on,, health,, mental AND physical,,, i got diagnosed with pretty much a chronic illness, i still dont know the cause for it,, like i have treatment for the symptoms but no clue what the cause is. i got diagnosed with adhd during my ed but that is,, obviously still there,, i just very recently got told by my therapist that she thinks i may be autistic,,, i looked into it and it seems VERY possible which is,, a lot to think about because i have no clue how to tell my parents or if ill even be able to get diagnosed,, plus ive got a TON of shit with my family going on,,, my dad lives in a different state but there's a LOT going on with him which stresses me out,,a lot.

OH one last thing -- i learned to crochet!!! i learned with,,, disordered intentions (i thought if i learn to crochet i will be using my hands more so it will be easier to not eat) but i love it SO SO much, I'll probably be posting a lot abt crochet now because its like,, all i do lmaoo

anyway, thats all ive got for now i think -- hopefully i wont just disappeared again (even though nobody actually reads this-) but if you are reading, thank u so much for actually caring enough to read all of my rambles <3

[calico-kiwi]

Oh noooo a complex female character how scary 🙄

????? help is this abt sandra lynn?? LMAO

look, i’m here to enjoy the series and, y’know what? i’m really enjoying it! i’m having a blast :D

characters are allowed to be nuanced and flawed and not perfect and she’s a character who very obviously has had some ups and downs, both in her life and how the party (and her daughter) has viewed her

i think she’s a beautiful character and i appreciate her complexity and the thought that’s put into her, brennan did a great job of keeping her consistent and i genuinely do appreciate her depth

but this is very much a thing i am watching for fun and that i’m not trying to analyze, and i get secondhand emotions from things i’m invested in pretty easily

so the whole situation with her that’s going on in sophomore year had me a bit more stressed an anxious than even some real life stuff was causing me

the easiest way for me to sort of process how i’m feeling about her is to recognize sometimes i’m upset with her (which, she’s not the only character i’ve done this with btw, i was plenty distraught and torn up about the whole gorgoug zelda situation and gorgoug forgetting the generator felt like a kick to the stomach) and then move on

she has her moments good and bad and instead of justifying either, i decided to take a step back, detach myself and go “i like that she did this! i did not like this!”

because quite frankly i was getting far more stressed out than something i’m watching to have a good time should make me

so yes, a complex female character indeed, and deep down, i do love her. but i’m allowed to be mad with her too and y’know what? i’m mad at her sometimes because i love her

so i understand if you sent this because you felt like i was attacking her, but i’m really trying not too and i think you missed the whole point of that post which was “i am going to feel about her how i feel about her in the moment because i am genuinely distressed and this is a fictional character”

also it’s ok to not like characters???? like if i said i hated sandra lynn that’s ok??? i can still hate something while admiring or i appreciating the fact from a meta standpoint her character is amazing and incredibly well played and developed. it’s when the hatred stems from bigoted thinking that it’s a problem, and it’s very much not, i’m just having an emotional response to a character in a series i’m emotionally invested in

good on the fantasy high d20 gang for impacting my emotions so much because that’s how you know they’re doing a great job!!

anyways this was fun to answer, i don’t get asks often, and it gave me a chance to rant :P

i would appreciate it though the next time you sent an ask (to anyone) to not come out swinging first, cause for this kind of situation something less accusatory wouldn’t sufficed just as well

like, “i was wondering, why don’t you like sandra lynn? i understand she’s done some shitty things, but not everyone is perfect and it feels like you’re holding her to some double standard of being unflawed because she’s a women” (i am not holding her to a double standard, im sorry if that’s what it seemed like, as i explained earlier in the post i responded to her actions that way to help preserve my mental lol)

that type of question gets the same point across, gives more detail (took me a minute to figure out who tf the original ask was about) and better explains what i may have messed up on so i can clarify, fix, or potentially apologize for it! (all in a less butt hurt or “let’s start some internet drama” sounding way)

thanks for the ask (no thanks for it being so rude, though i can understand where your frustration’s comping from), here’s a response, i wasn’t expecting anyone to come across that post and i’m just glad you’re not a bot or scammer in my inbox

i love just Never Shutting Up (as you can see by how long this got (unintentionally)) so please, i will talk about literally almost anything if you give me the chance, COME TO MY INBOX

[frosnpls]

cw rhory (and suicide) talk again and general mental health talk

following on from that post yesterday i do definitely need therapy because as much as i convince myself ive healed (and to be fair i have, his death may have been traumatic but its incredible how quickly you realise you were being abused when youre... not being abused anymore) i do sometimes miss him and i hate it. ill see things like accounts from others who've lost people to suicide and it triggers that deep emptiness i felt when he first died despite the fact that he essentially ruined the first few years of my adult life

part of me wishes id never even met him but then i dont know if i would be as close to the friends i have now without him having been there (most of them anyway, if we pretend he didnt have one my best friends blocked because he would get jealous of how much fun i had speaking to her) and i also think he would have. died a lot sooner if i hadnt met him. his brother in law once told me it seemed like id afforded them two more years with him alive and i think it was meant to be grateful but in a way it was just upsetting because it made me feel guilty for all the times i had wished i didn't know him. it felt like i couldnt even afford a theoretical past version of myself that release. i know ultimately his death wasn't my fault and in fact i actively prevented it for a long time but it always always feels like i should have done something else. i feel like i shouldve told his brother that he was actively suicidal again but id come to his brother about it so many times that i think he just didnt think anything of it anymore.

and like despite how much i suffered through everything i dealt with with him i. do miss how we were sometimes. not him specifically, but the relationship we had when it was good. sometimes it upsets me that i cant even remember most of the positive times despite there being so many of them for the first two years we knew each other. sometimes i catch a glimpse of the tattoo on my arm when im getting out of the shower. the tattoo of one of his drawings, one of the only ones i managed to save when he deleted every single message he'd ever sent me. and sometimes it makes me feel like shit because i have this constant reminder of the boy who abused me emblazoned on my body, and nobody's first tattoo at the age of 21 should be a memorial to their boyfriend who killed himself, and it just makes me feel like shit because under everything else i really did love him and thats why i never walked away. thats why i didnt give up on him even when i started realising how damaging it all was for me. i loved him so much and i fucking hate saying it because logically i shouldnt have. its. a lot and its so complicated and nobody but me ever, ever saw it because he masked it around other people or would just dm me instead of saying anything out loud, and i could only tell people very nervously in private and i never had a way of proving it.

i think the hardest part is that my aocial circle now is almost exactly the same as it was when he was in it. all of our friends mourned that loss just the same. some of them know about the abuse now, but most of them don't, and the grief they will occasionally express (though never directly around me, which i appreciate) is so plain and easily explained and i almost feel jealous that i can't grieve the way they can. without any of the complicating factors. and that sounds so horrible but i wish my feelings about him were just SIMPLE.

i have a floater in my left eye. when i was with him, i developed stress stims. i would bash my hand against my head or bash my head against the corner of my desk. floaters are caused by head trauma. im consistently reminded of what that time was like every time i move my left eye in the right lighting.

i remember one particularly bad night where i cried for four hours straight because he just refused to talk to me like a normal person, blamed me for everything that was happening between us and told me to leave him alone and never speak to him again. i knew if i agreed to that he would kill himself as soon as he could. i knew i was the only thing keeping him alive, and that he resented me for that. i used to get acne on my nose and sleeve burns on my eyelids from crying so often and for so long each time.

it was fucking horrendous and i can't even vent to anyone because most of them grieved his death too. we don't even say his name - if he comes up it's always "you know" or "someone else, you know who i mean". so i think i... should really do a proper therapist hunt.

[drunk-cryptic-witch]

Accidents lead to war crimes

Bakugo x f!reader, where Bakugo accidentally throws away reader’s favourite ramen and faces the consequences.

Based on my real life events.

Warnings: Cursing, the pitiful throwing away of ramen, gory descriptions and acts of violence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He didn’t realise it was yours. He swears. He saw it lying around the first time, and didn’t mind. Then ten minutes later when it’s position hadn’t moved, he had decided to discard of the bowl of ramen. The rather delicious bowl of ramen that you were saving.

All you wanted to do was finish your work and get to your ramen. But no, some big dumb blond had to ruin that for you after your already very taxing day.

“BAKUGO,” he froze. He didn’t know what else to do. You had said his name like that only twice before in your life and had been incredibly livid both times. Once you had yelled it when he shoved you into the pool, while Kaminari was in as well. Kaminari, who had gotten shocked and accidentally used his quirk. Your hair was spiked up like Kirishima’s for two weeks.

The second time you had screeched it was when he had actually blown up half your hair to smithereens. Worst part was that you refused talk to him until it grew back to the same length again. Safe to say he was miserable for those two months.

And now, he was terrified of what would happen. When you were angry, it was scary. But when you were angry and tired, it was much worse. And a ramen packet may not mean much to someone else, but he remembered how much it meant to you. A moment too late. Nonetheless, he drew back his shoulder and held his head up hi-

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY RAMEN YOU ABSOLUTE MOTHERFUCKER?!!??!” And there we go. He was screwed. He shut the lid of the trash can, putting the bowl in the sink.

“Relax, I just thought-,”

“OH YOU THOUGHT HUH. WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT THINK IF IT LEADS TO YOU DOING UTTERLY FOOLISH THINGS YOU FUCKING BLOCKHEAD!”

“WATCH WHO YOU CALL A BLOCKHEAD IT’S JUST RAMEN I’LL MAKE YOU ANOTHER BOWL!”

“IT WON’T BE THE FUCKING SAME! AND THE RAMEN IS OVER DICKWAD! JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU AT LEAST ASK BEFORE YOU CHUCK SHIT??!”

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO FUCKING KNOW YOU WERE WAITING FOR IT?! MY BLOODY REASONING IS CORRECT WOMAN!”

“NO IT FUCKING ISN’T - I came home from a stressful day of hero-ing around and then I made my delicious ramen. Ramen that you so kindly threw away. And then I got a call about paperwork from the agency, and had to sit for that. I come out around fifteen minutes later to realise not only is my ramen gone but my boyfriend- who I used to love and trust- threw it away. Well, just waiting for karma.”

“IT IS NOT MY FUCKING FAULT NEXT TIME LEAVE A GODDAMN NOTE OR SOMETHING FUCK IM SORRY ALRIGHT?!! AND WHAT KARMA??”

“I’ll make sure to tear your limbs piece by piece, and throw them away exactly how you threw my ramen. Or maybe I’ll have fun if I’m not too tired. Maybe, just maybe I’ll wait till you’re asleep, then get-,”

“Okay fine! Fucking fine! Damn woman. Fine. I’m sorry about your stupid ramen.”

And then ten minutes later, he’s walking late at night, on the way to the store to get your ramen, listening to your instructions on which brand to get. He’s grumbling, but you’re voice has placed a smile on his face. So has escaping near death, but oh well.

A/N: My father threw away my ramen. So I’m making this. Most of my fics are based on what goes on in my life 💀 either way I hope y’all liked itttt

Also not proofread because is anything I post ever proofread I’m really sorry

[yesimwriting]

Hi!!! I was wondering if you could do like a short story post or something I wonder how Our General Kirigan would react to a shy reader? Would he tease her? Be frustrated with her? And how would she react? Idk maybe just a thought 😅 I asked you because i really like your writing and I feel like you would really do a good job and I like the way you portray the General. 😊

a/n i have been crying/feeling shitty for the past two days for no reason!! so i thought it might make me feel better to try writing headcanons! i have SO MANY half done requests/fics but as of recently i hate everything that i write!! so i thought i'd work on this request that lends itself to headcanons

also im glad you like my writing :))

--

General Kirigan with a shy! reader headcanons:

- First things first, I think how he interacts with someone shy that he sees as a (potential) romantic interest varies per situation. Like generally, he finds the timidness kind of soft which is so different from what he's used to that he finds that aspect kind of endearing.

- He'd never admit that at the beginning, but the more time you spend with him the clearer it becomes to you because of how he acts when you're alone together

- At first, he'd hold onto his usual stoic disposition, but after realizing that at the end of the day your shyness is genuine and not an attempt to seem meek in order to trick people/him he'd begin to tease you about it when you two are alone.

- The first time he makes a comment that's just a little,, kinda-almost suggestive (a comment about how he wonders what it'd be like to be a Heartrender so that he could hear the change in your heartbeat every time you shied away from something) you're too confused to be embarrassed for like two seconds.

- You're basically that meme that's like did I hear that shit righttt??

- So you meet his gaze, and there's absolutely nothing but warm confidence there and you realize that he had in fact,,, said that.

- You hold his gaze for a moment out of protest (which is an incredible feat) and then you have to drop your eyes to the floor. You mumble some comment about how his ability to summon shadows isn't exactly a boring skill.

- Your reaction is so soft,, Kirigan can't help but be endeared even further. Something he wasn't exactly expecting and isn't too thrilled about. He doesn't think being shy makes you weak,, but he's extremely wary about how you're perceived and how people may treat you because of it.

- He doesn't doubt his ability to protect you, but he doesn't want to be distracted,, not with all he has to do.

- Still, he can't help mumble comments whenever there's a brief pause and you two are alone

- Meanwhile, you're starting to notice that now more situations keep coming up when you're left alone with Kirigan?? like he's always in the library when you are, he's always walking in to assess training when you're training and he just so happens to linger until you leave and then he just so happens needs to walk in the same hallway.

- It's a little strange at first,, but you're more horrified by the fact that you're not mad about it than the fact that it's happening. Especially since you know how much joy he gets from getting you flustered. You can see that in that slightly cocky uptilt to his lips whenever you're left gaping at him.

- Why doesn't it bother you?? You try to rationalize it and the only conclusion you can come to is the fact that he's attractive and powerful and even though your face gets hot whenever he talks to you,, there's appeal in those qualities. There's appeal in getting the infamous General to smile.

- Even if it costs you the bit of pride you have.

- You don't get why you're the one he seems to be going out of his way to speak to (maybe when your life is as stressful as his is,, at the end of the day you just want something easy and if he's in the mood to be flirty, you're easy) but you're not mad. You just have to constantly remind yourself to not be foolish enough to think you're the only one he goes out of his way to talk to.

- And as time progresses, you get a little more comfortable with his banter. You stop shying away completely,, which only encourages him to get bolder with his comments.

- Nothing insane,, not yet, just a little more direct.

- It kind of becomes a little game to him,, to see how flustered he can get you with the minimal amount of effort. Every once in awhile, you manage to act normally, but he's quick to shut that down by upping his game just slightly.

- After awhile, it starts to become a game for you too, to see how much of your instincts you can suppress just to take away some of his satisfaction. Only when he's getting a little too smug.

- But that's when y'all are alone...

- When you're surrounded by others, sometimes it feels like you don't even exist to each other. Sometimes that's a lonely feeling for both of you, but each of you is convinced that they're the only one that feels the absence.

- In your defense, you're much more entitled to those feelings because he can literally do whatever he wants. You can't just walk up to the General and do what?? ask him why he hasn't made any suggestive comment in the last couple of hours??

- please that embarrassing!! even if you weren't shy, that would be out of POCKET

- Meanwhile Kirigan is just like being angsty and debating the implications of seeking you out in an environment with so many important people. He could probably manage a minute or two by your side without making anyone suspicious, but the danger in that is that he won't be able to bring himself to leave after those minutes pass him.

- Worse,, he may even find an excuse for both of you to step out into the hall so that he can make his comments and take in your reactions in private.

- It's especially difficult when you have that one strand of hair just slightly out of place,, presenting the perfect excuse for him to just fix it and then drop his hand slowly so that his fingertips can brush the side of your cheek.

- And you're growing tired of the crowds of people you're not comfortable with and you're starting to feel more and more stupid for letting something that was so clearly just a playful distraction mean anything to you.

- But before either of you can succumb to your angsty pinning (cough, cough,, simps) his eyes will find yours from across the room and that's EVERYTHING

- At first, you want to be stiff and look away because it's probably not intentional, but then he gives you that little smirk. And then you feel stupid for ever doubting that you two at least have some kind of friendship. (maybe more,, but you're too scared to let yourself think that,, ;))

- And then you give him this shy smile,, and that's it. He's done--that one look undoes him entirely.

- So he starts shifting towards you as casually as possible, because if he can't be with you right now, surely being near you is good enough for now.

- You're unaware of this,, and when the moment ends you find yourself longing for more, but relatively satisfied. You don't expect anything from him, he's important and you're you.

- And being around people drains you because you genuinely want to stay out of any situation that would have too much attention on you at once. So once Kirigan moves and you can't find him in the crowd, you decide now is as good a time as any to step out and get some air, especially since no one currently needs you for anything.

- So you disappear into the corridor, planning to be gone only for a few minutes. But the second you're about two steps into the hallway, you hear another's footsteps.

- The hopeful part of you is like 'maybe it's him!!' but you don't really think that. There's something about the atmosphere that feels too tense,, too wrong for you to believe it's him.

- A moment later, your suspicions are confirmed. A grisha known for his impulsiveness is calling out to you, asking you where you're going.

- You explain that you just wanted to get some air and that you'd be returning in a minute. You try to sound dismissive, clearly establishing that you'd like your minute to yourself.

- It's clear that he understands the hint, but he doesn't move. He just keeps asking you questions.

- Your answers get shorter and shorter, the nerves your feeling tensing with each word as he begins to venture from falsely casual conversation to more flirtatious words. Being shy can leave you speaking too much, spluttering out words in hopes of saying the right thing to let you escape, but this is a different type of nervousness. Something feels wrong.

- And he just keeps saying things, things that even Kirigan wouldn't be able to get away with.

- All the while, you're desperate to escape, but they're persistent.

- And just when you're losing hope, and his advances get so bold he has you literally backed into a corner--a familiar voice comes to you like a lifeline.

- Kirigan, with all the authority of the general, questions what's going on. The guy that was so relentlessly hitting on you moves back like suddenly you're fire and begins to back away. He tries to explain himself but Kirigan is not having it.

- As soon as the stranger leaves, you feel like you can breathe again, but your nerves are still on edge. Kirigan's looking at you in a way you've never seen before. Sharp and almost--almost angry?

- You try to mumble a quick thanks, intending to disappear back to where you're supposed to be, but Kirigan's gaze keeps you planted against the wall.

- His gaze is so intense you ask him if he's alright.

- The question cracks something in him because of course you'd ask him if he's okay after something happened to you. His expression softens slightly, which you think is a good thing but then he speaks,, and his voice is not calm at all

- He's mad at the person that did that and the irrational part of him makes it seem like he's a little mad at you for letting that situation happen, but it's only because he's worried about what would have happened if he hadn't gotten there in time.

- And you're kind of confused because like?? what does he want from you? you made it clear you were uncomfortable and you were trying to get away?

- But after a quick snap and the fact that you're okay settles in,, he does feel a little bad. So he comes close to apologizing,, but that's basically just him saying he's glad that you're okay.

- You don't really ease, so he decides to make a partial joke about how maybe he needs to be around you more,, just to be safe,, you know

- And you smile slightly, and you're like 'y'know i'm not completely helpless.'

- and he's like 'pity,, i would've liked the excuse'

- your face instantly feels extremely warm and you're not sure what you could even, plausibly say to that. But you can't let him have the last word,, not like that. So you're overcompensating, rambling, but then at the end...you say something about how he doesn't really need an excuse to stay near you.

- When you realize what you've said, fight or flight kicks in,, but you can't move. And there's no casual way to escape, so you decide that maybe you'll cut your losses for today because that might have been your most significant reply to him ever, and you feel like an idiot because he was probably joking. And you just had to say that and make it weird.

- So you allow exactly one second of unfortunate silence, your eyes glued to the ground. And then you make some excuse about needing to get back to where you were.

- But Kirigan stops you, and you think about how you can't avoid looking him in the eyes forever, so you just kind of barely dare to glance upwards.

- And he's smiling broader than usual, the look is so warm it melts away all the bad feelings from earlier. You have absolutely no idea what it means, but you know it's not...bad.

- And then he shifts slightly, and that's when you realize he's never been this close before.

- He then asks if you're sure, voice much lower than earlier.

- You can't speak,, too trapped on a line you don't understand.

- But as he leans forward, the only answer he needs is the instinctual part of your lips as his warm breath reaches your cheek.

- And with that he turns his head just a fraction of an inch,, and his lips meet yours.

- It's just a quick brush of lips,, a soft test. And when you don't protest, he moves to let the contact be a little more assured, yet still teasing.

- Something in you grows impatient, and you move a little in hopes that he'll take the hint.

- But that's all it takes for him to pull away, expression bright and teasing before playfully chiding you for being so eager.

- He then turns, leaving you more flustered than ever.

[rainytypology]

TWICE MBTI

*based on my opinion and cognitive functions. May change later.*

*Also I am aware they have talked about their types, but they most likely used the 16personalities site or something similar. The results are often very inaccurate from there.*

Explanation of functions

___

Jihyo: ESTJ (Te - Si - Ne - Fi)

Te (extroverted thinking) is a judging function that makes objective and fair decisions. It seeks to organize the environment and be efficient as possible. Taking charge since Sixteen days, Jihyo is a natural born leader as most Te doms are. She has no problem organizing people to get to work. She gave support to the girls in order to get things going. She's incredibly hard working, with 10 years of trainee experience. Jihyo is quite competitive and always wants the best results.

Si (introverted sensing) is a perceiving function that seeks structure and familiarity. Jihyo does seem to stick to what's familiar to her, e.g being asked if she was to reborn, would she be a leader again or be the maknae. And Jihyo answered leader as that was what she was used to + being the oldest child provided her the natural leader trait. Being a leader also allows her to organize her mind better.

In all her years of being a trainee, she never really developed any hobbies outside of it. Te - Si just does what it needs to do and move on when the goal is reached.

Ne (extroverted intuition) is a perceiving function that sees connections and patterns in order to create ideas. As Jihyo has already reached her main goal of debuting, she said she doesn't have any other particular goals. She'll focus on whatever comes her way.

Fi (introverted feeling) is a judging function focused on one's own feelings, morals, and values. Jihyo has admitted to being sensitive and is quite anxious (dom Te often puts up a confident front but behind the scenes, she often asks for reassurance make sure she's done things right). She does push away her own feelings aside in order to reach her goals sometimes, e.g when she was called fat on Sixteen and instead of defending herself, she really thought it was her fault and decided to lose weight in order to continue on the show.

...

Nayeon: ESFP (Se - Fi - Te - Ni)

Se (extroverted sensing) is a perceiving function that processes the world using the 5 senses. Nayeon is always in the moment. She pays attentions to physical details such as her looks and others' looks, their hair, outfit, etc.

"I don’t set specific goals. I’m a more fluid person who goes with the flow. I live in the present. I try not to stress about the future. It's my natural vibe. I don’t force it. I sometimes want to set strict goals for myself, but I’m not very successful at it!"

"I receive happiness from my everyday, normal life. Every time I laugh out loud. Or when I’m talking and eating delicious food with people I love. That's what I think happiness is. It’s a comfortable feeling."

- Elle 2022 interview

Fi - Her solo album is literally named after herself, which definitely expresses her. She also tried to express her own style in the album as much as she could while exploring other styles. Se - Fi makes her want to experiment with different aesthetics to find her own new and improved colors.

"So I believe that the things I communicate to my fans, and what the fans see in me as Im Nayeon, is how I define myself. There’s no difference between TWICE's Nayeon and Im Nayeon...But after I debuted, there were times when it was difficult to distinguish between my public life as a celebrity and my life as Nayeon. It was hard, but I realized that I don’t know how to be anyone other than Nayeon." - Elle 2022 interview. Fi wants to be authentic and Nayeon always focuses on that by having a lot of self confidence and expression.

Te - On Jessi's Showterview, she asked if JYP were to make them do something they didn't want to do, which member would they use to voice their complaints. All - including Nayeon herself - pointed at her. Fi - Te makes her stand her ground and voice what she wants. She also said she doesn't mind working, as it's for the sake of TWICE and ONCE.

Ni (introverted intuition) is a perceiving function that processes info through the subconscious and focuses on long term future goals. It seems like Nayeon has vague idea of where her future will go but also doesn't seem too worried about it. E.g she figured she was going to have a solo eventually, but when the moment actually came, she was still surprised.

...

Jeongyeon: ISTJ (Si - Te - Fi - Ne)

Si - Jeongyeon is very organized, being the clean freak of the group. She's always using an agenda and has detailed plans for vacations. She doesn't like unread mail and even reads her mom's lol. She doesn't like trying new things or meeting new people (Si - Fi). Her Si - Fi makes her more private and lowkey.

Te - Her Te - Si makes her productive and organized. Si makes her want to be structured, Te puts in the work to do the organizing as Te is used to doing that. Plus she does have natural leadership skills as well, almost tying with Jihyo for the leader role. I also think she's often too honest to be an Fe user.

This why I think she's not an ISFJ (Si - Fe - Ti - Ne). If she were, her Fe would still make her social and interactive with others, but Jeongyeon isn't a social type. I don't think she cares for social harmony as she teases others a lot and may not realize how blunt her humor is.

Also, even when she was supposed to be on hiatus, she decided to take a part time job at a cafe. I don't think anything can stop a Te dom/aux from being busy lol. Her Si probably liked having that routine and normalcy.

Fi - Jeongyeon internalizes her feelings most of the time, even when she's mad. E.g instead of getting verbal about the girls leaving a mess, she would send a picture of the mess to the group chat and that would be enough for them to realize they upset her.

Her Te - Fi can make her fiercely protective of others. She seems to do it out of her own feelings of being bothered/annoyed and takes matters into her own hands. E.g a viewer commenting on Tzuyu's noodles looking too dry, but Jeongyeon immediately countered that noodles can be eaten dry and even made a "tch" sound at the person lol. There was also a moment at a fan sign where Tzuyu wanted to answer questions, but none of the fans were giving her any. And Jeongyeon butted in to say they needed to ask Tzuyu questions too.

Ne - Jeongyeon can be goofy and fun, I know she loves to joke around by pranking the members. As her inferior though, she's not that much interested in new possibilities and ideas. It even took her a long time to get used to Sana's affectionate nature.

...

Momo: ISFP (Fi - Se - Ni - Te)

Fi - She says she's not good at cheering up others, but having Fi makes her empathetic and makes her feel bad and so tries to do it anyway. She has strong feelings but chooses to keep them to herself (very Fi; Fi is intense but private).

Se - She is a good dancer no doubt, but that's because she's been dancing for many years; anyone that's been dancing for a long time is bound to be good, no matter where their Se is at. She seems to actively seek out new experiences and always just does what she wants (e.g just cutting her hair how she wanted w/o stylist's permission, telling Tzuyu to do what she wanted with her hair bc it's hers. Se often just goes for it). She's quite straightforward in the way she talks as well.

Ni - I think it is her Ni that makes her seem "spacey" at times. Ni lives in the subconscious so it's the most internal function; Momo seems to go on a thread of connecting ideas rather than having several ideas scattered here and there. I don't think I've ever seen her connect patterns and ideas either.

Momo has always been chasing her dreams of becoming some sort of performer. All she's mainly done in her life was dancing. Seeing other singers and dancers really inspired her to truly go for the idol career. She really took it hard when she was eliminated from Sixteen, considering she had been in South Korea for years to become an idol and didn't seem to have much plans for any other career.

Te - Momo can be assertive when she sees the need to. She uses her Te to push herself to keep working towards her goals and improve (constantly working on her dancing. She's been regarded as very hardworking by others).

...

Sana: ENFP (Ne - Fi - Te - Si)

Ne - The Ne optimism she possesses...Many ENFPs tend to be positive and bubbly. She also seems able to create ideas for possible solutions (e.g TTT, she thought of pulling the string closer to their wrists so they could draw with more control; pulling each other closer when hitting the ball). She's really talkative like most Ne doms are too.

Fi - Sana isn't afraid to say/show what she feels, she will always express her genuine emotions. Even with her anger/annoyance, she has no issues showing it. She doesn't bother to put up a happy front (e.g the time she was getting unnecessary hate and she didn't bother to fake smile or anything for the cameras. Fe would have likely pretended to act fine as to not worry others, but having Fi, she was likely too caught up in her own feelings and thoughts to care how others were going to react).

“I’m typically really touchy with my members so considering that, I think I’m someone who just acts as I feel. If I want to hug them, I hug them, if they’re pretty, I tell them they’re pretty, and I tell my members stuff like, ‘Your picture was so pretty so I saved it to my phone.'” - Cosmopolitan Korea interview

Te - Sana can be serious and hard working, she takes her obligations seriously and always gets things done. E.g, in Sixteen, she had no problems confronting Dahyun and Minyoung about skipping practice. She puts in a lot of effort to study and speak Korean fluently, to the point that some native speakers are surprised by how well spoken she is.

Si - A bit clumsy and a little forgetful, e.g misplacing/losing her credit card several times that her dad had to get her a purse for it lol.

...

Mina: INFJ (Ni - Fe - Ti - Se)

Ni - Passion for dance as she's been a ballet for so long and now has turned that experience to use for her career. Perfectionist as well - even when others have told her she's done ok, she will keep trying until it reaches her standards, e.g rerecording a song until it sounds exactly as she wanted it. She considers herself to be observant and often likes to sit back and watch (which may also allude to Se; just taking in the moment). The members have commented how Mina is quite creative and can think of ideas that others wouldn't think of and how she's the most intuitive. Mina has said it herself how her ideas just "pop"; Ni users' ideas may come in hunches or epiphanies.

Fe (extroverted feeling) is a judging function that is concerned with other's feelings, group harmony and values. She seems to rely on others a lot for reassurance and opinions (e.g asking fans about her image and tries to mold her image to their ideals, asking members if she's done well). Mina is expressive but may only show it openly with close ones. She dislikes conflict and observes others emotions in order to put them first.

Ti (introverted thinking) is a judging function that uses subjective knowledge and systems. She enjoys legos and puzzles as she likes to think and likes having the specific instructions. She questions when things seem odd (Te wouldn't really bother to wonder about the logistics, Ti is focused on the details though).

Se - Says she is not a risk taking type. She also doesn't think she's adventurous. Mina has travelled a lot and done a lot of physical activities, but it was probably just for the sake of the other person (e.g saying she only went skiing with her dad bc he asked her to). She doesn't really seem like she needs to be engaged physically to be energized.

...

Dahyun: ESFJ (Fe - Si - Ne - Ti)

Fe - She seems to be very careful of how she presents herself, with the members even saying she's the most different off camera. They've also said she's the most mysterious member, so it's likely she puts up emotional walls...putting more focus on the group rather than herself, she doesn't even share when she's struggling even when it's evident that she is. She often likes to go with the majority, which has made Jihyo push her to say her own honest thoughts and opinions too. She is always supportive and always tries to be there for the other members' activities (Fe always tries to find the time to be there for others)

Si - She's organized and likes having a routine (never late, always prepared, never misses anything). She is observant and usually takes a moment to process things before speaking. She considers herself to be practical and not very spontaneous.

Ne - Dahyun is curious but often times doesn't act on it. She also doesn't mind doing things that are a bit out of the ordinary or new, e.g finally getting comfortable with showing more skin when she liked more covered clothing + all her weird but funny stunts on variety shows lol. She is funny and goofy, but it seems she mainly uses Ne for variety. Her Fe + Ne helps her influence the atmosphere by being fun so that others laugh and are comfortable.

Ti - I don't think I've seen her use Ti much...If her Ti were higher in the stack, she'd likely voice her opinions more and not be afraid to disagree

...

Chaeyoung: ISFP (Fi - Se - Ni - Te)

Fi - Expressive and genuine about her ideals and personality; very individualistic. She likes to stand out and be unique with her artsy creativity and lyrics she writes. She always does what she wants regardless of others' opinions; she just lives for her own standards.

Se - Expresses her personality through creative outlets such as fashion, drawing, and music. She doesn't seem to put much thought into it though, she seems to care more about the visuals rather than the meaning of her work. Even when looking at other artists' works, she talks about the colors and image rather than the emotion or meaning it is portraying.

Ni - She seems have a general idea of where she wants her projects to go. She knows what she wants and does what she needs to do in order to get there.

"To me, freedom is expressing what you want to express. Just as Kristen Stewart wore Converse shoes with her dress at the Cannes Film Festival, I also want to become someone who breaks the unspoken rules. Some people think of idols as just pretty and cute people with lots of aegyo, but I want to expand that image. This image, that image, they can all be considered idols, and I think that can be expressed in different ways"

A lot of Fi - Ni to me tbh...She's devoted to self expression, wants to break the current standards so that artists can just be themselves instead of living up to the strict image of a typical idol (Fi). Her goal in the end is to have freedom of self expression. She longs to make a lasting impact (Ni).

Te - Chaeyoung is a bit of a rebel, she doesn't seem to care about set rules and standards. She does whatever she wants without thinking of possible consequences (Se - Te).

...

Tzuyu: ISFP (Fi - Se - Ni - Te)

Fi - I think it may be harder to tell what Tzuyu's dominant function is since she's so introverted. I have seen the arguments for ISTJ (Si - Te - Fi - Ne) and ISFP, but I think she may be an ISFP since I don't see her use Si as a dominant function. Her Fi likely makes her incredibly quiet and shy even though the members say she's actually quite talkative and funny off camera. Fi doms tend to be naturally reserved and only open up when comfortable, which may be why people see her as "robotic".

Se - She's quite carefree, not liking strict schedules and routines. She seeks new experiences and has gotten carried away observing new places. She seems to get energized when it comes to physical games or overall sensory activity (also may be why she's a lead dancer as well). She dislikes staying still over all.

Ni - Her Fi - Ni wants to work on improving and showing what skills she has to offer instead of simply being a pretty face. Se - Ni wants to experience now and hope to experience it again in the future. She likes to think about what she will be doing in the future.

Te - She's not really structured or organized, which makes the others worry a lot for her lol. She doesn't seem to have good time management or solid self suffiency. She needs to be guided, which isn't a dom/aux Te thing...ISTJ's are often very independent, but Tzuyu isn't organized enough to do well on her own.

___

[dontlikemelons]

influence II reader x dream

(please only consume this content if you are 18+, this fic contains sexual themes that may not be the most appropriate for younger audiences. thank you!)

it’s my first post! im still very much testing out the waters with my writing style, so i am totally open to any (constructive) criticisms you guys have (ex. nicknames you’d like me to use, certain things you’d like me to write about,etc.) i hope you enjoy! 

- mel (a.k.a. melons 🍉)

Clay has been on a call, talking with George and Nick for a while since you got home. Usually, you’re understanding about the hours that go into the behind-the-scenes of his channels -- even encouraging him to work when he’d rather spend the days cuddled in the Florida apartment you share. This time, however, you’re not having a good day. After countless incidents with stubborn customers and a run in with some family you’d distanced yourself from, all you could think about was getting home to Clay and Patches. When you got home though, he seemed too preoccupied to even say “hi”. You hopped in the shower, hoping that he’d be a bit more attentive by the time you were done. After finishing your shower and changing into comfier clothes, you go to ask him if he’s nearly done. Surprisingly, you’re only met with a cold “no” and nothing else. You leave and go to the bedroom, annoyed with his sudden coldness towards you. 

Clay notices your stiffness in response to him. “Shit- one sec guys, sorry. I think y/n’s mad at me. I, uh, I think I should log off for the night anyway, we’ll finish this tomorrow. George, make sure the coding for the video is all set please. I’ll talk to you guys later.” He quickly moves from his chair to the closed bedroom door. Concerned, he tries to apologize. “y/n? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be so harsh. We’ve just been working on the code for this video all day and-”

 You stand about a foot away from the mirror, arms crossed, facing away from him. Noticing your bothered demeanor, he starts to walk towards you. His footsteps were firm and purposeful, but soft. He knew that heavy footsteps made you nervous and he didn’t want to make you even more upset than you already seemed. 

“y/n? Little flower...” he says in a somewhat soft and teasing tone -- he knew you had a weak spot for that nickname. You feel your hair stand on edge as he approaches you from behind, his brooding figure towering over you in the mirror you now share. You try to keep looking down, but can’t help but shoot him a glance in the reflection. This glance shows the both of you that there’s more than just anger on your mind.

“Oh, c’mon now, look at me. You know how I love those gorgeous eyes of yours.” His arm snakes around your waist, grips your left hip and spins you to face him. As he steps closer, you step further, determined to maintain your authority. Soon enough, your upper back meets the cool mirror you were just staring into. He reaches out with his pointer finger, tilting your chin upwards to meet his gaze. “Chin up for me, baby.”

For a moment, you forget that you’re supposed to be angry with him. You drown in his glare, swimming in his olive green eyes and taking in the universe that seemed to exist behind them. “There’s my baby, just look into my eyes,” he says, noticing the sudden softness in you. “See the love I have for you, I know you can feel it.” You snap out of it, but as you try to look away, his hand moves to the back of your head to keep you where you are. He thinks for a moment before speaking, his thumb narrowly brushing your cheekbone and the area under your left eye. You love when he makes his thinking face, when you can see the gears in his beautiful mind turning. Even more, the anticipation of what he’s going to say next.

He moves his right hand from the nape of your neck to match the other, which is firmly planted on the wall on the other side of your head. “You try to act like this stubborn little thing, like you’re looking for a reaction. I know you’re not bitter like this, and when you are it probably means you’ve had a bad day. Even so, this whole act you’ve got going is a bit more exaggerated than it usually is.” Shit. You really were frustrated, and you know your feelings were valid. But at the same time, you know that your stress can sometimes require more...sensual coping mechanisms. 

“Your stress tends to make you a little more bratty from what I’ve seen. All this while I know that the only thing I have to do is whisper a couple special words into your ear and slowly...run my fingers...down your body…” He trails off in thought, tracing your body in a way that sends goosebumps spiraling everywhere. He starts to lower his voice to a tone that he knows is another weakness of yours, and continues his sentence. “...And you’ll be melting at my touch. Isn’t that right baby? Show me how you melt for me, you know how I love it.” As your eyes flutter closed, you can feel your knees go weak and your head spin at his words. He lowers himself to be at eye level with your waist, running his hands down the back of your thighs. 

“You...You know exactly what you're doing don’t you? I-I’m supposed to be mad at you here. You’re being incredibly i-inconsiderate right now-” you struggle to exclaim, losing the sharpness you intended to add with those words. 

He whispers, “Oh am I?” Noticing the faltering in your knees, he tightens his grip. As he slowly moves his hands back up towards your back, your legs give out. When you fall to your knees, he stands and looks down at you with an air of satisfaction in what he’s accomplished.

“Look at you. My little mess, not even able to stand after my hands make contact with your skin. When I asked you to show me how you melt for me, I didn’t think you would actually end up on the ground but...I do like looking at you from this angle.” You feel yourself getting wet and look up at him, face red from embarrassment. He can tell by the look on your face (and the small squeal that you happened to let out as you fell) that you’re unsure of what to do. He kneels back down beside you, placing his hand by your crotch, where you knew he’d feel the heat and dampness radiating from your core. 

“My goodness, already a whimpering mess for me,” he says, tucking a bit of hair that fell into your face behind your ear with his free hand. Seeing your fluttering eyes, he slowly and teasingly inches his fingers closer to your clit, noticing the wet patch on your underwear. “Oh, what’s this? A puddle forming already? Poor little flower, do you want me to help with that?” You nod, prompting him to pick you up bridal-style and carry you to the bed.

“T-thank you,” you mutter quietly. 

“Of course, baby, anything for you,” he whispers. “You know how much I love you. Now, relax and breathe steady for me. I’ll be expecting more from where all that came from…”

[happyandticklish]

im so sorry to come to you with this, you don't even really know me and you most definitely don't have to respond to this but it's so hard to turn anywhere else with the truth

every minute has felt so suicidal for so long, everything is always either black and white or It feels like a group of people are screaming at me in my head and everyday I sleep in until I can't sleep anymore, I couldn't care less about the outcomes to being lazy or not eating enough because it feels like if something goes seriously wrong, I'll always have suicide to lean back on. It's more than I can bear and I don't even know why I'm sticking through. I'm appreciative for what I have but at the same time I can't stop myself from desperately wanting to end everything and that just makes it all feel even more guilty. Nearly every waking moment Its all just so tired and dark, the only good memories that keep me holding on lately are the ones that've happened in good dreams. I just don't know where to turn to, I used therapy and hotlines out until every session felt the same and I don't want to feel this way. I want to push through and finally move on from the people who have drifted but I really just don't want anyone different than them, I want to call with someone again and be comforted when I hear their voice through the other end because I feel so much safer in company on calls with people. I want to live with a dog someday and feel comforted by the knowledge that I'm not alone so long I've got my companion. It's all gone, I don't know what happened and I want to work on myself and fix everything but the weight is too much, there's too much I have to do in my life and with my parents getting more and more upset with me the longer it takes to finish my work I expect to be yelled at every day and I hate that it breaks me down to nothing every time until I can't think of a reason to move or eat or breathe

It's so difficult, I just don't know how to do this and I don't feel like I can properly turn anywhere else and I'm sorry to burden you with this all of a sudden

on a lighter note I really do like your blog and it's presence helped me find a flicker of light at times

TW Mention of Suicidal Thoughts

Hey anon. I can't know the circumstances of what you're going through, or how it's affected you. But I do know that what you're doing right now, reaching out for help, is super important, and I'm very proud of you for doing so. It's not easy coming to someone with this, and it can make you feel vulnerable in ways you may not be super comfortable with. But I'm extremely glad you did!

Throughout life, we go through stages. Sometimes you have moments where your life feels like its soaring, and like everything around you is exactly as you want to be. And then there are times when we feel like we can't do anything right, and that there's no one around us who can possibly take the place of the people who were there before. And the truth is, no one probably can. You can't replace people in your life, you merely find new people who you care about deeply as well. Whoever they were, it's clear they made a heavy impact on your life, and were people that you shared a lot of love with. I can promise you now that you're going to find people like that again. I've gone through moments in my life where it felt like I had no one, and all the people I had held close had either drifted away or left. And it was hard, and took time, and putting myself out there, but now I'm surrounded by loving people who care about me, and that I care about just as much. I don't forget the people I used to know, but I hold onto the memory of the time we spent together. It's important not to sour that time in your mind, but also to keep from clinging to it. Moving on is a natural part of human existence. And it's hard, and painful, but eventually, you will be okay.

You are you're own human being. You don't owe your work or your time to anyone. You are allowed to live your life however you want it. If what you are doing now doesn't feel right, then don't do it. Find something that you care about, whether it's big or small, and create ways to incorporate that into your life. If work is stressing you out, and the pressure from family to complete it, try talking to them. It might be hard, and they might not get it at first, but it's important to communicate your needs. Explain how it's making you feel, the guilt and the anxiety, and work together to try to find a new system that works better. If they truly love you, they'll listen to what you have to say.

Lastly, there are people who care about you. Even if it feels like you are all alone, like nothing matters, there are people out there where your existence matters to them. Someone thinks about your smile, something you said that made them laugh, thinks warmly on times where they spoke with you. Someone loves all the things about you that make you you-the good and the bad.

You are not a burden. You are a human just like the rest of us, which makes your life one that is infinitely important. Take things slow. Do them at your own pace. But try, because life is incredible, even if it doesn't feel like it now.

I hope this helps, at least a little, to ease some of the pain you are dealing with. But at the very least, know that I care about you, even if I don't know you. Someone does care.

You are loved. Remember that.

[teeth-and-tea]

ANIME & MANGA I HAVE BINGED IN THE LAST MONTH: May 2021

I've Been Hunting Slimes for the Past 300 Years and Now Ive Maxed Out My Level: incredibly long name aside, cute af slice of life that suffers Same Face Syndrome. I'm still happy to watch it because of how feel good and fluffy it is though, Im probably gonna forget about it in two or three years tho. 8/10.

Don't Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro: I found out this was a webcomic first and suddenly all the HORNINESS made so much more sense. A Femdom, Degradation, Humiliation, Dacryphilia Bullies to Lovers story disguised as a high school rom-com which, I'm not going to lie, misses SKEEVY CITY by mere inches on a regular basis. However, I'm a Dom/Switch and this entire relationship sets off my dom brain center like New York City just shy of midnight. So if you're into that sort of scene, this anime is for you. If not, it's still fascinating but you're probably gonna be a little put off by how mean the Girl!Bully is to the guy MC. Unless you find out something about yourself, in which case, congrats! Stay safe, sane, consensual, and learn about the traffic light system on top of safe words, I promise you'll have a better life in general after that. Still Ongoing, currently 10/10.

Fruits Basket: IM GONNA CRY I LOVE THIS ANIME SO MUCH???? The original anime came out when I was in... I think middle school and my parents were really strict on what I watched so I never got to experience the first wave and I never bothered to watch the show ever after I moved out of the house years later. However, now that I'm much older I honestly can say this is one of my favorite anime to date, and all the characters are charming, lovable, with their own problems that I can connect to or sympathize with, and I love the MC which is always a treat tbh. Except Akito. Akito can suck a sandpaper dick. I'm only on S2 tho so no spoilers! Anime 11/10.

Monster Girl Doctor: went in thinking it was gonna be a monster girl who's a doctor with a homoerotic assistant (her name is SAPPHY okay sue me for thinking it) and ended up watching the entire dubbed harem series. Honestly, I've seen worse and this one has consistent follow-through on interesting characters and backstory enough for me to shove aside the blatant under-monstrousness of the female monsters and the harem-ness of everything else. Dubbing is honestly really good, which is a treat, and the monster designs are not the worst and the MC is tolerable. Honestly, I don't mind having watched it! The mix of cgi and the traditional animation together work pretty strangely though, and it often doesn't flow super well. 7.5/10

So I'm a Spider, So What: Dubbed version which honestly isn't that bad. Took me a bit to get into it, but after realizing that it's got a mismatched timeline a la The Witcher, it made so much more sense. Heavily done in cgi, and you can definitely tell between the 2D and 3D animations, but not the worst in the world. I went in not expecting much but it ended up being an Issekai I can stand and even enjoy. On god has a decent story... with the spider. I'd be a liar if I didnt say I skipped some of the human parts just to get back to the best part of the show. 8/10.

Somali and the Forest Spirit: I'm so fucking nostalgic for this thing it makes me want to go and hug my dad. About a human girl under threat of being eaten with a monster-dominated world. Very obvious "humans fear what they don't understand" message but instead of the humans learning tolerance it's what happens when they get annihilated first so like, kudos for the mangaka for having the guts to do that. I cried like a baby regularly. It's really good, I watched the dub and ID WATCH IT AGAIN!!! 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Oh my god. O h my g o d. Fell in love on the first episode, ngl. About if an immortal being learned how to be a person from scratch. I love it. HOWEVER. Keep a box of tissues on you at all times because you're gonna need them. I'm only on EP7 because that's all that's out right now but just know. I love it. Not for everyone but certainly for my "what do we define as human and the human condition" ass. 12/10.

Those Snow White Notes: A sports anime without any sports. About shamisen playing which is cool because I never realized how cool this instrument was??? Its neat af. OP1&2 are by Burnout Syndrom so know theyre fire. Gonna be real, its pretty alright, but not extraordinary. You can tell they were using the characters as archetypes rather than actually characters which kinda kills a lot of the emotional value you could've had, but I'm still gonna watch it. It doesn't make me cringe as hard as other sports anime tho so I consider it toptier in that regards but if you're a big sports anime fan you might be bummed out by it. Every single musical performance is INCREDIBLE tho. A solid 8/10.

Toilet Bound Hanako-kun: THE ART OMFG IT'S SO GORGEOUS. Listen, if you took coptic markers and gave them an animation budget with some manga panel direction thrown in there, that's this anime. It's beautiful. Gorgeous. I'm in love with the aesthetic every second. Story? Really good. Characters? I love the MC and his evil little twin brother asshat. Demons? Not super imaginative but I'm carrying on happy as can be anyways. Dubbing? A bit shaky at times but I found the voices charming if a little off for some of them. I'm already waiting for the second season with popcorn at the ready. 10/10.

Prison School: I watched this directly after Hanako-kun and it was like I got slapped in the face by sweaty unwashed titties and some fedora wearing schmuck's piss kink. No character is likable or redeemable. I finished it, but at what cost? 2/10 and only because a character shit his pants and I laughed.

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle: watched this right after Prison School and it was NECESSARY tbh. Its so CUTE and honestly, im not even kidding you, the fucking funniest anime I've seen in months. I watched the dub and the VAs are having the time of their lives working on this anime not just giving it their all but literally just going ham. Its great. If I read this im sure id be bored outta my mind but the VAs giving it a joyous performance make it an insta fave for me tbh. 9/10.

Sk8 the Infinity: i watched the dub with my bro and I can confirm that its a spectacular show because we both loved it and we have vastly different tastes. Incredibly SUSPENSFUL AND STRESSFUL for an anime about skateboarding but we finished it in a single sitting tbh. The last episode is not dubbed for some reason but we still loved it. Like if Free! was less obnoxious but the only fan-service here is Joe ♡ a beefcake who owns my lesbian heart. I think there's exactly one named female character tho and I legit couldn't tell you what it was if there was a gun to my head. So, over all, 9.5/10.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: I'm going to be entirely honest, I went in thinking it was going to be a boring isekai of no value. I was right about the Isekai part. It was honestly pretty interesting and focused on nation building like you're playing civilization rather than the usual "Get Stronger" narrative or "Get Some Pussy" narrative most isekais take which is delightfully refreshing. Granted there are flavors of that in this which means it doesn't alienate the big isekai watchers out there, but it's not the whole dish and it doesn't make me want to cringe the same way others do. You've got a slime MC just vibing and building a nation of monsters nbd. Does lose points for making the female monsters more humanoid than their male counterparts but makes them back by only doing perfunctory fan-service and nothing that makes me want to cry... except the butt sumo episode but in fairness it was all a terrible dream. Literally, the MC refuses to dream anymore after that. solid animation, decent voice acting, decent story, made me realize how HUGE this is in the Light Novel community???? There's like 18 fucking novels and that's WILD. 8.5/10.

MANGA:

Spirit Photographer Saburo Kono: a one shot special by the mangaka of The Promised Neverland! Honestly a really delicate touch of both super creepy and really touching, and I'm not gonna lie I'm bummed that this isn't a bigger project but the single chapter makes it a good taste for their style. I've been wondering if I wanna read/watch The Promised Neverland and now I think I will. 10/10

Deranged Detective Ron Kamonohashi: from the mangaka of Hitman Reborn comes this Sherlock and Watson derivative! Not even 20 chapters out yet with a sort of spotty schedule, I honestly love it even thought it's exactly as you expect. HOWEVER. Kamonohashi the "Sherlock" character uses mental pressure to kill all confirmed murderers and it's up to Toto the "Watson" character to save all those people before Kamonohashi kills them! It's just recently introduced a "Moriarty" family of crime lords (not a big spoiler don't worry it was obvious) so the tension surrounding Ron's past is amping up rn. Personally, I think the art is GORGEOUS, the characters engaging, and the story quick enough to keep my interest. Most mysteries are solved within a chapter or two so you're not stuck 20 chapters into one locked room mystery which is just peachy tbh. RN, 10/10. If this gets an anime, I anticipate a legion of fangirls who ship the two main characters along with their many friends. I've been alive too long to believe otherwise.

Don't Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro: Yeah I read the manga after I watched the show. A slower build than the anime, but it works for the format, if theyd done the same with the show then I don't think it wouldve done as well. Honestly? Cuter tbh but just as horny. You dont start really LEARNING about your character until like, chap 65 tho and no real "drama" happens until like 75. A good chunk of the chapters are like 8pgs so its a breeze to get through. I love these slow burn idiots of the century. 9.5/10 because you can DEFINITELY tell the mangaka does hentai too.

Yugen's All-Ghouls Homeroom: one-shot by the mangaka for Food Wars, it's no wonder there's this constant perviness from the MC, a guy who can see and exorcise spirits. Takes place at an all girl's finishing school with KICK ASS monsters tbh, kinda bummed its not longer. The MC? Blatant monsterfucker who is also a CONFRIMED monsterfucker???? Idk i vibe with that single emotion. Everything else is hit or miss. 7/10 for monsters and cool concept, lost points for the MC very pointedly being okay with admitting he'd wait for the teenagers to be adults tho. Creepy af. Could live without that.

Hell's Paradise: I finished the entire 127chps in 3 days and I was really enthusiastic about it 90% of the time thinking about how deep it was and then I actually thought about it and I ended up being very neutral about the whole thing tbh. The art is fantastic tho, but DEFINITELY deserving of the M rating. Tits. Tits everywhere. But not tits to be ecchi over, no, monster hermit tits on beautiful women-ish figures. Now generally I give that a pass but a huge theme in the story is that men and women are "no better than one or the other" but like, lady tits are what you see 99% of the time. Men tits are few and far between. I call bullshit on most of the "deep" themes is what I'm saying, so it's like the mangaka was trying for those deep thoughts but missed the margin a little too far for my preference. That being said, the MC is a married man who loves his wife which automatically makes him my favorite character so like... idk so many good things, so many misses, but overall really spectacular themes and imagery. Unique but classic all at once. It's getting an anime and I have NO IDEA how much censorship they're gonna be doing but they're going to be doing SO MUCH. Oh yeah, and one guy is a plant/human hybrid who fucks a 1000 year old plant-hermit which makes him a canon monster fucker. And one canon non-binary character who I, a nonbinary, actually like. So like... gosh I've got mixed feelings. 8.5/10.

Choujin X: From Sui Ishida, mangaka to the mega hit Tokyo Ghoul comes this brand new manga!... Of one chapter, lol. Not really binge-y because it's just the one chapter out right now but I'm already keeping my eye on it. The grasp on anatomy in the art is PHENOMENAL and you can see Ishida flexing his art skill which is great. Can't give a true rating but I'm giving it a tentative 9/10 because I'm excited to see more.

Shag&Scoob: technically not a manga, its an ongoing webcomic I binged an subscribed to in one day and I just think it deserves more attention. Starts off funny with "what if Scooby Doo had a gun" and has been led to "what if all cartoons are aliens that survive and receive their powers by the humans that love them in an epic war with Martians." On god, its good. I finished the current series in a couple hours so it's a breezy read, highly recommend it. 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Yeah I watched the anime and then finished all current 143 chapters in like 3 days. GOD IM WEAK. I don't buy physical manga unless I know I want to remember the story forever and I'm already budgeting for the current books out. Yeah, this is a good series. That being said, definitely not for the faint of heart or those who suffer under common triggers like suicide, molestation, death, etc. It's all framed as bad and necessary to the story don't get me wrong, but it's there and has lasting affects on the characters. Incredible story telling by the creator of A Silent Voice. Keep tissues nearby at all times. 12/10.

[7wanderingpaws]

Captain Bucheon 01

(gif is not mine)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader (Lee Nari)

Genre: policeman AU; enemies to lovers AU 

Warnings:  langauge

A/N: First chapter! Yay! Super excited! Also, the feedback I got for the prologue - THANK YOU SO MUCH. Im super excited and happy and grateful. Hope you will enjoy this one! ^^

story masterlist masterlist

: prologue

>>>First<<<

Loud screeching was what woke you up. Thundering of footsteps down the corridor made you groan and turn in bed because for god's sake, it was Saturday morning and they just had to be loud at 10am!

Your roommate, lying in the bed just four feet next to yours, stirred awake too, though considering her eyes were fully open, she must have been up for a while now. “I’m glad it’s them waking you up and not me.”

You sighed and managed to smile but you were tired. Life in dormitories sucked, but yours even more so since you were assigned probably the worst dorms in the campus. Having to share bathroom and shower rooms made you leave your comfort zone. But finding toilets in the terrible state you did just purely horrified you. Why weren’t some girls flushing the toilets?!

“You know very well I won’t kill you if you wake me up, Yuyeon-ah,” you mumbled, your voice hoarse. Having Yuyeon as your roommate was the only positive aspect of the dorm life. Some would argue it’s the most important one but you were selfish and you wished you had a private bathroom like the other, more advanced, dorms had. There wasn’t even a kitchen where you could cook your ramyeon deliciously!

“Doubtful,” muttered Yuyeon, amused, and she moved to sit up and start her morning routine while you decided to lie around for just a little bit longer.

Working tirelessly many evenings made you tired and the exhaustion always caught up with you during weekends, where, frankly, you didn't have work. Also, it being the beginning of your second semester, the tension and stress were on but you decided you wouldn't let it affect you too much. You have had enough stress in your entire life and you swore you would become your usual cheerful self.

And you had been, indeed, working on it. But that meant getting over, and hopefully, forgetting everything that happened almost one year ago. Your brother was still in prison and your family, terribly disappointed and in pure shock at what had become of your brother (plus your underage drinking fiasco), you all decided it would be better for you to move to the dorms for the time being. Another story was forgetting about the person who was behind the entire turn-over of your life.

Byun Baekhyun.

You never saw him after that one time he came to your high school. In that moment, you were numb, paralyzed and it hurt to see him. He dared to act like he cared. But over the time, you grew hate towards him. A hate that was weirdly combined with some emotions you really didn't want to pay too much attention to, because they were all based on a fake relationship. A relationship, that was something so beautiful, just for it to end up becoming a complete nightmare. A trauma. A terrible trust issue that you might never be able to get rid of.

It was safe to say that you, Lee Nari, would rather spit at Byun Baekhyun than ever start a conversation with him let alone acknowledge his presence were you to meet him. Not that you were expecting to meet him. After all, you had been incredibly careful - especially around Oh Sehun - in avoiding him by never-ever-ever-ever even coming as much as close to the street where the main Bucheon Police Station was located (but too bad for you; it was literally in downtown Bucheon) and even if you had to cross it, you whined and had to be dragged by your wrist (by Yuyeon). On the good side, there was never a chance for you to cross his apartment building as he lived in a different neighborhood. So that was, thankfully, out of the possible trouble inducing locations’s list.

But still, you couldn't help feeling anxious about spotting him somewhere. The first few months, you might have been looking around with too much hope, wanting to see his real self instead of the ogling at the few photos you had together stored in your phone. Just one glance of his eyes, nose, lips was what you wanted; it was maddening.

Then the flashes of that day came back, ruining every sweet memory, every sweet touch of his engraved into your skin, every stroke of his lips - it all vanished, instead morphing into his stern, burning gaze of which you were on the receiving side. The way he blamed you, the way he wanted to arrest you, and then the way he wouldn't let even your own mother hit you yet he gave you the harshest of punches… The moment of you overhearing his conversation with his tall colleague (you already forgot his name) until your entire world crashed on you. He lied. He never liked you. He never wanted a real relationship with you. He used you to get to you. Byun Baekhyun wanted to arrest you and then he arrested your brother and smashed your heart into tiny pieces. How could you ever recover?

“What, you're not getting up?” shrieked Yuyeon when she came back from the bathrooms, towel hanging around her neck. “The results of the votes are today so you better get up and prepare. You're the school's star, missy,” she grumbled and went over to her table, continuing her complex skin-care routine.

Right.

The way to get over Byun Baekhyun was to live and you could do that thanks to your friends.

Pfft, you had places to be. Forget about Byun Baekhyun.

><

Because of your communications major, you somehow ended up in the university’s student council. You were representing your school year but it was still unclear how the hell you managed to win over more than half of your classmates when all you ever did was hide or be with Yuyeon.

You entered Bucheon University with pretty damaged self-esteem, your cheerful self still recovering from the scandal. However, despite always doing something mischievous with Yuyeon neither of you had a huge circle of friends. It was only natural that the two of you did everything together. Even now, it was mostly you and her, plus Sehun and some other friends.  Unfortunately to you, many males voted because of the nature of your chest. The quiet girl with huuuge boobs, they were saying with hushed voices.

“Don’t pay attention to them, it’s you winning at the end of the day,” advised Yuyeon at the time.

So when the both of you waltzed into the seminar room with a round table in the middle and took seats (Yuyeon was there for your moral support), you could only glare at one senior who was sitting opposite you, his eyebrows wiggling as he  shamelessly drunk in your chest which was, as per usual, hidden under an L-sized hoodie. It seemed you could never escape.

When the president of the student council, Chul, appeared you all stood up and bowed to him respectfully even though he was a student just like you. He was the oldest though.

To your surprise, he walked straight over to your chair, throwing a charming smile at Yuyeon, who let out a quiet scoff in return, before leaning down to whisper in your ear, not forgetting to touch your shoulder gently: “May I have a chat with you? It’s rather private.”

When he leaned away, you blinked twice but nodded and followed him outside for a moment. You could hear whispers erupting after you left though you paid no attention to them.

“What is it, Chul?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest. Chul was one of the very few who never got distracted by it and you were thankful. He helped you a lot in your first semester, like finding you a job and teaching you how to drive a scooter so that you could easily do the deliveries while introducing you to some other interesting people on the campus.

“So about the spring festival - I have two things,” he started, his gaze set on your eyes, always making sure he reciprocated the eye contact. “First, you are taking part in the relay running for our team with representatives. Second, you have been requested as the MC-“

Before he could finish, you sighed holding out your hand to stop him, feeling the nerves kick in, not even paying attention to the first news. “Those votes aren’t even valid. They are all mocking me, Chul. Besides, I don’t wanna do it.”

Chul let you finish, patiently nodding. “Well, hence me stealing you from the meeting.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been requested,” he repeated, emphasizing the last word, “by our main star.”

“I thought we haven’t heard back from the agencies yet?” you asked. You’d written countless emails to various agencies, asking for special famous idols of theirs. To your utter distaste, it also included Siamsa but you couldn’t tell anyone you knew what an annoying, fake bitch she was.

He shrugged. “Well, we heard back from a couple. Siamsa agreed to be the main star of the festival under one condition,” he murmured, lowering his voice. He pointed his index finger at you. “If you’ll do the MCing for her.”

That left you speechless. That delusional woman wanted what now?! “I don’t want to, Chul,” you shook your head, frowning.

It made you wonder why you were getting nervous in the first place. Was it because of her status and having to stand in front of your entire school or was it because of the connection you both shared and that was Byun Baekhyun? Just the idea of having to face her and having to be reminded that she dated your ex made you weirdly sick in your stomach.

He sighed, scratching his neck. “I’m sorry, Nari, but I’m afraid I’m gonna want you to accept it. She is the hottest idol out there and everyone wants her the most. Imagine the attention our university - and especially us, the school council, could bring in. Don’t let us down,” he added gently, though you could sense authority in his voice. Chul was always fair, you had to admit. He never asked you to do anything that made you uncomfortable, never asked you the reason for your reluctance in the past but now he insisted and it showed in his intense gaze.

“I’ll help you with the preparations,” he added, smiling encouragingly. “You’re much more outspoken and talented than you give yourself credit for, so I’m sure you’ll be a star just like Siamsa.”

Well, he really didn’t have to say that last sentence. If there was someone you wanted to be like, it was your good old self. Of course you had more talent, after all you were the big-mouthed one.

Chul patiently waited, seeing that you were mulling over the options. When you looked up at him, you slowly nodded while hating yourself. “Fine. I’ll do it. But-” you stopped him from smiling widely, “what happened with the original voting? Who won?”

“Obviously, you.”

You shook your head quickly. “But I mean who is the actual winner?”

“Not important,” he muttered, brushing past you. “Let's head back inside. Not everyone has the time to sit around waiting on a Saturday.”

><

Once the meeting was over, you couldn't wait to spill the news to Yuyeon but needed to wait until lunch time, when you would meet Oh Sehun. You had sent him a text earlier asking if he was still grabbing lunch with you and Yuyeon (secretly you were writing these messages for obvious reasons - you couldn't risk he would be with Baekhyun). Since he had agreed, you and Yuyeon were speed-walking to the cafeteria, both of you hungry.

Once sat down and joined by the tall friend, you looked around varily just to make sure he really came alone. 

Sehun sighed, tired with your dramatics. “I'm alone, Nari,” he rolled his eyes as he was mixing his tuna bibimbap. “And now spill. The both of you have been acting like rabbits on energy drinks.”

Shooting him a frown, you still rambled away for ten minutes, telling them what had happened. Yuyeon knew about Siamsa and your past experience with her and Sehun also knew the vital triangle connection of Siamsa, Baekhyun and you. He still seemed shocked and even uncomfortable when he heard your entire story.

“What made her request you?” he asked after he swallowed a big chunk of food. “I mean - does she even know your name? Your university?”

“And you literally met her a year ago,” added fervently Yuyeon, deep frown wrinkling her forehead.

Just like your friends, you also had many questions but no answers. Mulling over various possibilities, Sehun finally spoke up: “Should I ask Baek-”

“No.” Your answer was abrupt, but cold, empty and harsh to which Sehun winced the slightest bit. Even hearing his name made your heart race fast and hence the sudden cold behavior. Sehun knew you as a cheerful, kind girl so seeing you being affected by his friend to this extent made him quite perplexed but nothing he wasn’t used to by now. It was his fault; he should have known better than to bring him up.

Yuyeon shot you an unsure look but this time, you ignored it, focusing on shoving around the rice in the steel bowl with the spoon.

“You should have declined,” tried Yuyeon.

“I did decline,” you answered eagerly. “I feel like that bitch might have something up her sleeve. If she does, I should be ready.”

Sehun was flicking his gaze between you and Yuyeon, thinking over your words. Surely, things you didn't know about could hardly hurt you, right?

After lunch, Sehun bid his goodbyes to you.

“Where are you off to?” you pouted, looking up at him with puppy eyes. “It’s Saturday, let’s do something fun!”

“I’m going to the running tracks today with my friend,” answered Sehun and ruffled your hair in amusement to which you pulled back and away from his sneaky hand. “Maybe later, hm? I bet you’re gonna do something with the student council anyway.”

“You and your running, aish!” grumbled Yuyeon. “Go, go, we don’t need you anyway.”

“Don’t get into trouble!” Shouted Sehun as he turned to walk towards the gymnasium and the track field. He waved one more time before he had his broad back on you.

You scoffed and grabbed Yuyeon’s hand, yanking her towards the dorms. “Well, making trouble has been more challenging since we are old enough to do trouble,” you exclaimed, jumping a few times to make Yuyeon walk faster. She whined and tried to pull away but your grip tightened and you snickered. “But that doesn’t mean we still can’t go and have fun tonight!”

><

“Let’s do one more round.”

“Hyung,” groaned Sehun tiredly, feeling the sweat dripping down the sides of his face. “Enough.”

“One more.” Byun Baekhyun shook his head once before he took off for another round. “Losers will keep losing!” he shouted with a cheeky, handsome smile, running backwards for a bit to check on Sehun and when he saw the tall male run after him in challenge, he snickered and turned back, dashing off into a sprint.

It’d been like this for almost a year. Baekhyun was always a gym buddy with Sehun but in the past eleven months, Sehun became a small, indirect punching back. Whether it was because he suddenly became a mutual friend with a certain someone or whether it was a punishment for being there that night with her, he didn’t know. He didn’t want to know.

One thing he surely did know was that running helped him ease his mind and relax, maybe make him feel a little bit more numb like he so wished to be.

Getting rid of any intruding thoughts of Lee Nari was difficult. He felt sorry for her, the victim of his job. Fooling around with a young girl was not his plan but he knew he did it for the better good. He tried to persuade himself that he did it for the better good while pushing back the need to search for her and make sure she was doing alright. 

As he was nearing the finish line, Sehun caught up with him and they both jogged towards their bags nearby the tracks to freshen up. Sehun was heaving like a parched horse which made Baekhyun chuckle as he reached for two bottles, throwing one to his friend.

“Cheers,” exhaled Sehun harshly and quickly opened the bottle, gulping down the needed liquid.

Baekhyun hummed in reply and waited for his heartbeat to calm down before he would have a sip. “How’s everything?” he decided to ask. “The new semester just started.”

Sehun swallowed and closed the bottle. “It’s just the first week. You know the drill - introductions and boring stuff.”

“Nothing interesting happened then?” Baekhyun was very subtle in hints. Sehun was, thankfully, quick-witted.

“We will have the university festival in May,” he replied with the slightest of smirks on his face. “Siamsa is confirmed to perform.”

Baekhyun wasn’t looking at Sehun and even the information he just heard wasn’t worthy enough to make him pay attention. “Cool. She is an artist after all.” He noticed some girls approaching the track and he felt a small tinge of dissatisfaction. He really liked when the track was only his.

“One of my friends will be the MC. Actually, guess what! Siamsa made a special request. Funny, right? In what universe does a singer of her caliber ask for a mere first year student?”

Baekhyun snapped his head to Sehun. “Why?”

Sehun shrugged. “We don’t know why she wanted her out of everyone... though-“ Sehun pulled a thinking face. “It might have something to do with you.”

Baekhyun sighed, already feeling tired. “I don’t like that one bit. Siamsa is sneaky.”

Sehun nodded. “She didn’t want to do it but her senior kind of ordered her. So I guess she doesn’t have another choice.”

“What kind of senior is that if he makes her do stuff against her will?” huffed Baekhyun, his hands on his hips. “Isn’t he supposed to be there to support her?”

“Well, yeah. He did a lot for her so she feels like she has to do it.” Sehun decided to not share any more than that despite sensing Baekhyun’s questioning stare. He knew Baekhyun wanted to know what that “a lot” meant.

When Baekhyun knew he wouldn’t be getting more out of Sehun, he sighed and tapped his shoulder. “Thanks for telling me.” He moved to grab his bag from the floor when Sehun stopped him.

“Hyung.”

Baekhyun raised his eyebrows in question, waiting.

Sehun opened his mouth but then ended up closing it. Baekhyun was a tough nut to crack. It was obvious he was always interested in Nari’s well-being but him pretending not to do so was frustrating.

“I think-“ he re-started, remembering Nari’s emotionless face when he mentioned Baekhyun earlier that day. He opened his mouth to talk but Baekhyun was faster:

“I think it is better to leave everything up to her, Sehun. She is a smart young woman. If anyone can do well, it is Lee Nari. After all, she is finally able to do everything she was pretending to be doing.”

Sehun snorted a laugh, mockingly rolling his eyes. “And since when did you become so-ugh, respectful about that? Nari is stubborn and doesn't know anything about life.”

“It is none of my concern, Sehun,” replied quietly Baekhyun, looking somewhere off in the distance. “But I know she is stronger than you give her credit for.”

“She might hate you and she might not be over what happened between you two-”

“I locked up her brother,” gritted Baekhyun, “and before that, I wanted to lock her up. What makes you think there is any way for both of us to function normally even if we do meet?”

Sehun sighed. It was difficult to communicate with the both of them. Yes, they were both hurt but goddamn it. Anyone could know they cared for each other.

Baekhyun sensed Sehun's dilemma and so he stepped to the taller male and gave him a curt smile. “Don't push it, Sehun. She will be fine.”

><

Sweat was gradually collecting around your hairline until it turned into one huge tear drop travelling down the side of your face. The text message was as clear as the night sky.

Unknown number

drop it at the 1047 unit

top floor

“It's impossible,” you muttered, feeling yourself becoming nervous. You were standing in front of 1047 and it was definitely not the top floor. It was the first floor, just like the first  number indicated. 

Gnawing at your bottom lip, you raked your head about possible connections you could contact when you couldn't deliver the boxes as you were supposed to. There was never a responsible person, only an unknown number sending you messages with the quest and a requirement to always be careful (you supposed the carefulness was concerning the boxes). You would receive a confirmation message when the box was in safe hands. That was it. No unnecessary contracts; just you and the job at hand.

You tried calling Chul, you senior. After all, he was the one who fetched you the job but even he wasn't available at that moment.

When you were just about to lose your mind, your phone rang making you almost drop the box. Thank god for your reflexes. “H-hello? Chul?”

“Hey, what's up?” he chirped.

You told him quickly your problem but you weren't expecting his light voice to become more serious. “You can't find the place? Are you sure you are in the right building- shit, the time is almost up. I'll be there right now:”

Heaving out a breath, you checked your wrist watch. The box was supposed to be delivered within fifteen minutes. How would Chul make it in time for you, you weren't sure but you soon found out when you heard his rushing steps, his phone's screen lit up with the exact information you were provided with.

“Hey,” he breathed, taking in your worried gaze as you gave him an apologetic smile.

“Sorry for the fuss.”

He shook his head once, muttering a single “no need” before he took the box out of your arms and put it down in front of the door. Grabbing your hand he started pulling you downstairs. “We gotta get out of here.”

“Huh?” you looked back at the box helplessly, before you couldn't look anymore, instead watching out for your step on the stairs. “Wait - Chul, I need to fulfill the task.”

He shushed you and before you knew it, you were outside in the chilly air. Dragging you a few more metres, he heard an approaching car's engine and he was fast to push you into a small alley that was barely lit by any street lamps.

“Chul-” you started, frowning. You didn't like him manhandling you like that.

“Do you trust me?” he whispered as he made you press your back against the wall.

“Yeah,” you breathed, eager to hear any information he could provide you with to explain what the hell was going on.

To your utter horror, a police car drove by, but you weren't terrified about why the police car was there. You were terrified about a certain someone sitting in that car and you possibly having to face that certain someone. Just the thought of having to see his shocked or disappointed face yet again made you inwardly whimper.

When the car was far enough, Chul turned to you. “You are doing a great job, you really are. But you mustn't, by any means, get caught by the police while doing deliveries. Got it?”

Feeling your heart thumping loudly from the adrenaline, you nodded. “What about the box then?”

Chul cursed when he looked at his phone. “Three minutes left. Go in and check the box. If it's still there, take it to the top floor as per request. Sometimes they give misleading information to you in case your phone gets stolen. Next time, make sure to double-check all the information they give you, okay?”

You were nodding eagerly and already started walking back to the small apartment building.

“I have to go but write to me if the mission is successful. Now go, quickly,” he said and without waiting, took off into the opposite direction.

Due to the stress, you didn't even stop to think about the weirdness of the situation. Rushing back in, you went to the first floor where you left the box. You were rendered motionless when the box was no longer there.

Someone took it.

Feeling fear creeping into your system, you took out your phone to call Chul just when you received a confirmation message.

Unknown number

the box has been successfully delivered