#and in that server we had you were super nice at the end trying to save face. I know you. because you lied about Lucifer right at me.

[inkabelledesigns]

Belladonna Nightshade - Halloween Dark Fairy

Base Doll: G3 Twyla from Monster High Clothing Pattern: Dollightful's Asymmetrical Dress (read to the end, I have notes about this)

Happy Halloween everyone! Since becoming a doll customizer, my Halloween dolls are usually related to my favorite indie horror game, Bendy and the Ink Machine. However, seeing as I've completed two Bendy dolls already this year, I felt it was time to give myself a break and try something a bit different. My friends over in DollyAnna's Discord server wanted to do a collaboration, so we decided to all make some Dark Fairies for Halloween!

Belladonna Nightshade is a mischievous fae that loves to play tricks and tempt mortals. That said, she's easily bribed with a sweet treat or two, and will usually let you be if you have a little candy or pastry to give her. I haven't decided what I want to do with her yet in terms of a story, but there is a part of me that would love to have her in my Equinox story.

When you consider the fact that most of my other Halloween dolls are black and yellow, it's no surprise she ended up super colorful. XD Would you believe this is my first doll with rainbow hair? Yeah neither did I, but she is! Part of my style is having really colorful and vibrant dolls, it surprises a lot of people that I've never done a rainbow before, but honestly? I'm glad to have finally tackled one! I'm also glad to have worked with another G3. Twyla is very near and dear to my heart, and I was so psyched to work with her mold! You can't see it in any of these photos, but I used glow in the dark varnish on her eyes and neon markings, so that her eyes still glow like the original. I will say, this doll has a lot more acrylic paint than my others, just by the nature of I don't have any pencils in neon colors. It was nice to get the practice in, I feel more confident than I did before in my brush skills. It was also nice to have a doll with dark scleras for a change! I haven't done that since I made Dreamer, it's surprisingly fun to draw on!

I was inspired by a LOT of different things with this one, and I went back and forth on my concepts a lot. Black light skeleton make-up, butterflies, fairies with non-traditional wings, candy, jesters, these were all sources of inspiration, and I think most obviously of all, Dollightful herself. This wasn't intentional, but I ended up using a doll of one of her favorite characters, with a lot of saturated colors which we know she loves, and even her dress pattern! I've been wanting to make this garment for ages, and finally I had a reason to try it!

So those of you who know how this pattern works are probably asking "Kat, how did you make this fit a G3? This dress is supposed to fit a G1 Monster High doll!" Believe it or not, Requiem Arts has a method for easily adjusting G1 patterns to fit G3 bodies. It's as simple as scaling a pattern up to 104% and printing it that way. It's meant for her garments, but I don't see any reason why it wouldn't work for other doll patterns. So I tried it with Katherine's dress, and I'm happy to say it worked out just fine! I think I probably should have adjusted a bit more on the skirt though. This outfit is essentially two pieces, and the skirt with all the ruffles is a little tight around the booty, it could have used a little more sizing up. So if you own this pattern and want to try this yourself, do keep that in mind!

Do let me know what you think! I had so much fun working on Belladonna, she's so vibrant and fun, I wanna try more fairies like her someday. I also need to try using props more. I got these pumpkins and hay bales on sale, and it was fun using them to craft a little temporary set for photos.

[lovelyjasmari]

Twisted Wonderland Reaction Part 17 ~ Special Edition

Hello everyone! 

So…it’s been a while since I’ve made one of these. Almost 2 years to be exact. But after book 5 forever changed how I engage with twst (for better and worse), I haven’t really been up to doing reaction posts anymore. Also after book 5 I actually began focusing more on the jp server since there were many things in the official translation that I found…lacking to say the least. 

But when twst jp released this mv on April fools day, I just knew I HAD to talk about it! I’m actually surprised more people aren’t. Probably the biggest thing about this mv is that in a lot of ways the narrative of book 5’s ending has changed now we have context to how NRC Tribe performed. I’ve seen a lot of posts on the bird app saying things like it makes sense now why they lost the VDC. 

I will say, this is definitely NOT a perfect performance. But as a former dancer with WAY too much time on their hands, I decided to analyze this. So for context, I did a mix of ballet and jazz for eleven years and in 2017 I decided to return to dance and have been dancing consistently ever since. To judge this fairly, I watched the MV several times, four times per member, (do the math and feel free to judge me). And with that, here are the things that stuck out to me the most. 

He is beauty, he is grace, HOW HE HELL DID HE NOT KICK EPEL IN THE FACE?!

Synchronization/symmetry 

The lack of synchronization was the first thing I noticed, ESPECIALLY in the first 30 seconds. The footwork is sloppy and Deuce and Ace in particular aren't as sharp with their moves as the other five. Rook seems to be the only one doing the choreography correctly because one point at 0:25 (and again at 3:31) where he bends his knee higher than the others and thanks to those fuckass uggs standing out so much, I couldn’t unsee it. At 1:03, 1:07, 2:07, and 3:00 Ace’s form is noticeably off as well.

And this may just be a personal hangup of mine but I found lack of symmetry between the boys at 1:14 very odd. Like, I don’t know how I can describe it but the way Epel tried to take center stage during his and Vil’s duet gave me the impression that wasn’t originally in the routine. At 1:13 there’s a split second where you can actually see Vil looking down at Epel like “...wut?” I immediately thought about that moment right before they go on stage where Epel offers to take on Vil’s solo’s because he looks so weak but Vil refuses. I wonder if Epel trying to take center like that is a callback to that exchange. Unfortunately, since the boys were perfectly symmetrical for the rest of the song, it stands out as awkward all the more. 

Kalim and Jamil

Lowkey, Kalim and Jamil both carried this performance after Vil. The little magic with the mic was a super nice touch and Kalim shines the most during the dance break. He seems to be having fun with it despite being in agony. What’s interesting is that after Ace and Deuce, Kalim is the most out of sync but he pulls it off well since I can tell he’s been on the stage before. Both he and Jamil are natural performers. 

Vil’s movements

So, this has been something of a headcanon of mine but it seems to have been proven correct with this mv. Vil has always struck me as someone who probably has a lot of classical dance training but little training in other styles like hip-hop or jazz. His movements are very graceful and elegant but almost…too elegant? I don’t know if that makes sense but they seem very smooth for this style of choreography.

AND THAT FUCKING GRAND JETE!!! Absolutely flawless but it feels SO out of place here! I will give him credit though, that is one of the most difficult jumps to pull off in ballet, and the fact he did that in fucking 5-inch heels right after the most mentally and physically traumatic episode of his life, it’s beyond impressive. And the fact he landed perfectly and so seamlessly moved into his final solo is even more remarkable. Still, that was the most jarring element of this choreography and I think it would still be out of place even if this was a “perfect” performance. 

Now here’s where I potentially piss people off

All in all this is a perfectly imperfect performance. Being completely objective and not taking my love for these characters into account, I honestly still don’t see how they lost. Well, I understand why but it still is fucked to me. I can understand Vil feeling like NRC Tribe didn’t perform their best since they were exhausted and hurting from dealing with his overblot. I can also understand that they were probably a lot more polished in rehearsal. But here’s the thing,  for a group of amateurs, I would probably expect this quality of performance even if they hadn’t had to deal with Vil’s overblot.

First off, the choreography is rather complex for beginners and requires a lot of synconization to look correct. But perfecting syncronization alone can take months and in larger groups sometimes even longer. To give an example, last year at my dance school, the kpop class did a TWICE cover that took us the better part of eight months to learn and we had to learn the chours in groups of three. And even then we still fucked up alot because again, none of us are professionals. If NRC Tribe can look like this after only ONE MONTH of training, that’s extremely impressive. Vil, can you train me please?? XD

As for having to perform right after beating OB Vil’s ass, again I was expecting to see A LOT more noticeable errors. And knowing what they all just went through honestly makes me admire this all the more. The thing is, it’s easy to be beautiful when everything is right and perfect in your world. But being able to smile even when you’re struggling and your heart is breaking is even more beautiful still. Personally, I don’t think I could perform even half as well if it were me. 

It’s unfortunate that we don’t have a MV of Neige’s performance so I could do a fully fair analysis. But if we look at all the evidence, it seems to me that NRC Tribe still gave a better performance. And I think the true tragedy here isn’t even that NRC Tribe lost since I think that was always a given considering the dynamic NRC and RSA has.

The true tragedy, I think, is that Vil could be convinced that this perfectly imperfect performance was still inferior to Neige’s. But I’ll leave that for another time. 

[fruitcoops]

Nothing But Sincerity

Fic O'Ween Day 6: Rainy Day, inspired by a Day 3 art piece by @tobi-tobi-tobi that was shared on the server! Coops credit to @lumosinlove, fest cred to @noots-fic-fests <3

Sirius made a disappointed sound and clicked his tongue behind his teeth. “Practice got cancelled.”

“Oh, no,” Remus said, pulling his socks off. “Thunderstorms?”

Sirius nodded; their thickest blanket slid easily off the back of the couch. “Dangerous roads and flood warnings.”

“Man, that sucks.” The kettle gave a soft snick as Remus put his slippers on.

“I was really hoping to go today,” Sirius agreed while he kicked the far fleece edge down over his feet. Outside, lightning cracked from the gathering clouds.

“Sounds like we can’t make plans with the guys, either,” Remus called from the kitchen, where he was pouring a marinated pork loin into a baking dish.

“Oh, mais non. Can’t ask them to drive in this. How are we going to survive?”

The squeak of the oven door cut off Remus’ soft tutting. “It’s been ages since we had the house to ourselves. Evening practice is the only thing I was looking forward to today.”

Sirius hummed his agreement as the DVD tray snicked shut. He made it back to the couch just as Remus dried his hands on a kitchen towel, and left one side of the blanket conveniently flipped up while he laid down again with a long, satisfied exhale. “This is going to be really difficult,” he mused.

The Great Pumpkin Waltz rose to the very corners of the room like an exhale over thunder. Remus reached back and pulled his shirt over his head, then slid beneath the blanket and splayed himself across Sirius’ front, kissing a smile into his mouth. “Jeez, Captain, I can’t think of a single thing to do with a rainy-day recess.”

Perhaps Sirius broke first, but Remus wasn’t far behind. Laughter overwhelmed the first few lines of the movie—enough that Sirius had to rummage around for the remote and rewind to the very beginning, despite the best efforts of tiny kisses to his neck to distract him. Remus’ back was warm under the long pass of his hand. He buried his nose in the soft curls just above Remus’ ear and took a deep breath, then let it go, so their weight sank into the plush cushions below them.

“I don’t want to do anything at all.”

Remus kissed the side of his neck again. “Cheers.”

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Kiss me there.”

“Cause I love you.”

“Well, yes, but why there?”

Remus shrugged one shoulder and shuffled the blanket up around his neck. “Easy access. Right height. Beauty mark. Stop talking, don’t you know I’m trying to watch the movie?”

Sirius swatted him under the thick fleece, but he just laughed. “You’ve seen this a million times.”

“It’s October and rainy, baby. Charlie Brown was made for this.”

“Hmph.”

“Hmph. You sound like Dumo.” He pulled a face and Remus grinned, nuzzling into the scruffy part of his cheek. “Hedgehog. Wanna come chop some broccoli with me?”

Broccoli did sound nice. Crispy and smoky on the ends, the way Remus liked it, if they put it in now and let it roast with the pork. Sirius let his arms come up around the broad curve of Remus’ ribs and rest heavy on each measured inhale. A peek over his shoulder toward the dim kitchen; he couldn’t tell whose legs were whose beneath the blanket. “Ouais, sounds good.”

“Hmph.” Hot air puffed over his throat. “Well, now I don’t want to get up.”

“Hey, I didn’t suggest broccoli.”

“I know, I know, but now I have to.”

“Non.”

“Non?”

“Nothing you have to do tonight.” His thumb had settled near the base of Remus’ ribcage for a few quiet strokes. “You love this movie.”

Remus seemed to ponder that for a moment. His heart thudded the calm rhythm Sirius had grown accustomed to falling asleep to. “We’ll pause at the Red Baron,” he finally said. “Then broccoli, super quick.”

“Mhmm.”

Sirius fully expected the Red Baron to pass them by without a twitch of movement. But true to his word, Remus paused the movie, and sat up with monumental effort. “Up, up, up.” Each word was punctuated by a pat to Sirius’ bare chest. “Let’s go, five minutes.”

“I can’t move.”

“I won’t get up by myself.”

“Non, I can’t move,” Sirius snorted, tugging at Remus’ thighs where he straddled his lap. “Up, up, up, loup.”

“No, I’m comfortable,” came the half-laugh, half-groan as Remus braced his hands on the armrest for a sleepy-cat stretch. He blinked slowly at the television a few times, as if it would save him from his self-imposed torment. Sirius poked him in the belly, just to be helpful.

They managed to make it to the kitchen, but not after much hemming and hawing and old-man joint pops from them both. “I should not be creaky at 28,” Sirius sighed, pressing his hands above his head with a yawn before moving to the fridge.

“You want rice, Old Man McGee?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, I already turned the—” Remus gestured at the rice cooker. “—thing on.”

“Rice cooker. It’s literally in the name.”

A kiss popped against the corner of Sirius’ mouth like bubblegum. “Aren’t you supposed to be chopping broccoli?”

“Hey, hey, wait, come kiss me again.”

He didn’t have to ask twice. Remus spun on his heel with pleased interest written all over his face and backed Sirius up against the countertop, paying no mind to the fresh box of butter between them. His hands moved softly over Sirius’ hips, just above the band of his pajama pants, before settling on his waist as he pressed up for a kiss. His wedding ring was cool on Sirius’ skin. Moonlit rain pattered against the kitchen window. The storm would probably lash the house later, but Sirius didn’t think either of them would be awake long enough to notice or care.

[neoflames]

Attempting to do present tense again because yes so have a Lim Life Lizzie oneshot

Word Count: 1495

——

Lizzie is in a death game. Again.

She's not quite sure how she's ended up in this predicament. When she got a message from Pearl asking if Lizzie would step in for her on a server as the moth hybrid was busy that day, she had expected Hermitcraft, or maybe some other unheard of server.

Lizzie did not think she would end up in another stupid life game.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

She can't be back, she can't be, the last one was awful- the faerie is used to a laidback, relaxed server with building and talking and maybe a bit of pranking, but Last Life was terrifying.

Death actually meant something, it wasn't a minor setback anymore, it actually meant something. Yes, being referred to as a queen was quite fun, and using her red life as an excuse to do whatever she wanted was certainly enjoyable, but it was awful to watch death. To watch people crumple to the floor unmoving and bleeding instead of just flickering and reappearing, instead of joking about how they'll get someone back for killing them, instead of complaining about how annoying it will be to get stuff back.

It was awful and Lizzie never wanted to deal with it again, hence why she had firmly denied the offer of joining whatever Double Life was.

So why was she back again?

Lizzie stares blankly at her reflection in the river. Her hair has faded to a mix of brown and blonde, and she has a torn-up hoodie slung over her shoulders, not even wearing it properly. A necklace with a circular clock is hanging around her neck, and the time is ticking down, slowly, and it's all she can hear.

Lizzie is in Limited Life.

While it was nice to reunite with BigB (although everyone is playing along with the joke of Lizzie being Pearl, it is clear everyone knows who she is), she's still terrified. She doesn't want to lose time for Pearl. She doesn't want to screw anything up. She desperately doesn't want to die. Not again.

There's something unsettling about dying in a life game. It's like there's something missing inside you when you respawn. Something that's missing forever. Something you can never get back.

Lizzie doesn't want to experience that again.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

She glances sideways as her reflection is shattered by dirt hitting the water as someone stumbles down towards the river, and Lizzie plasters a smile on her face as if she wasn't just contemplating death.

Her smile widens as she realises who it is. "Heyyy, Liz-" Joel pauses, adjusting his ridiculous glasses. "Sorry, sorry. Hey, Pearl. How's it hanging? What you doin'?" The man next to her asks, letting out a huff as he squats down next to her in what cannot be a comfortable position.

"It's, uh, it's... hanging. I'm just, uh- waiting on BigB for a thing he's doing!" Lizzie says, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. This isn't entirely untrue- BigB informed her that he was off to converse with some ties people, whatever that meant, and Lizzie opted to remain by the river near Pearl and BigB's adorable (yet slightly odd) frog tower.

She pauses, chewing on her lip with an uncertain expression as she tries to think of what to say next. "What about you, bad boy?" The pink haired woman adds in her attempt at an Australian accent, looking her husband up and down and admiring his... interesting getup.

"Oh, not much, not much- Grian got me and Jimmy killed, but it wasn't his fault, we were super vague. Still gonna blame him though." Joel adds with a grin. "Got any plans for the session, Liz- Pearl?"

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Lizzie frowns, shaking her head slightly as the ticking sound echoes in her ear. Does Pearl have to hear this all the time? Her gaze flicks between the clock earrings dangling from her companion's pointed ears and the scuffed watch loosely strapped around his wrist as she wonders which tells the amount of time Joel has left. Does everyone? "Nope, I'm just uh, rolling with it. Seeing what happens. The usual." Maybe. Probably not- Pearl's a lot more spontaneous than I am. She adds to herself with an internal sigh.

"Ah. Cool." Joel studies her for a moment, unusually quiet. "You okay?" He asks, and Lizzie sighs.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

She knew Joel would catch on. Despite how oblivious he acts at times, he's definitely the person who knows her best. "Not- really." Lizzie says after a hesitant pause.

Joel finally moves from his awkward squatting position to sit next to her, and she rests her head on his shoulder, ditching the joke of her being Pearl. "What's wrong?"

Her breath hitches in her throat as she tries to form a response. She hasn't told anyone how scared she was after Last Life- she brushed off not joining Double Life as her being tired from the previous life game. She dismissed her not joining Limited Life as her being busy with Empires. After a few moments of silence (although it feels like it could have been years), finally she speaks. "I'm scared."

Joel tilts his head slightly in a familiar manner that reminds Lizzie of a curious puppy. "Scared?" He echoes.

"Scared." Lizzie repeats firmly, and she only just realises that she's started to shake slightly. "Terrified. I hate life games. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them-" She breaks down into unintelligible sobbing, that awful sound still echoing in her ears.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

The faerie is vaguely aware of Joel pulling her into a hug as she buries her face in his chest and continues to cry. They stay like that for a couple of minutes, Joel muttering reassuring things into her ear. Finally, her breathing becomes more steady and the tears stop rolling down her face so she's just left with her neck and face being uncomfortably wet, and she pulls away as Joel shoots her a concerned look.

"Why are you scared?" He asks quietly. There's a small silence that follows, as if Joel is quietly letting her know that she doesn't have to answer if she doesn't want to.

"I hate dying in these stupid games. I don't want to die. I don't want to mess things up for Pearl. What if I- die a bunch and get her out of the game? What if I like- die die? I don't want to die. It's scary." Lizzie says under her breath in what is barely more than a mumble, sniffing and wiping her nose with her sleeve. What Joel says next is surprising.

"I know. I know, it's scary. It's awful. But you only have to be here for one session, okay? Then you can go home. You're going to be fine." He reassures her with a small smile as she stares back at him.

He's scared too? For the longest time, Lizzie has been convinced that she was the only one shaken up by the life games, that she was the only one cowardly enough to not rejoin, that she was the only one who hated dying. But she isn't?

Tick. Tick. Tick.

"It... scares you too?" Lizzie asks slowly, moving some hair out of her face (the hair that comes with masquerading as Pearl is messy to say the least).

"Oh, yeah. Terrifies me." Joel says with a shrug. "You're not alone, I promise."

She squints at him suspiciously. "You aren't just lying to me to make me feel better, right?" Lizzie asks uncertainly.

"Not at all. It sucks. I only stay in these things because it gives me an excuse to have even more petty rivalries than usual. And cause a lot of chaos. Kill people and blow stuff up." Her husband adds with a grin.

"That bit was kinda fun, I guess." Lizzie admits, laughing and sniffing again.

"It is! So enjoy it while you're here. And then you can go home." Joel's gaze flicked back up to the tower. "I think the other neighbour of the nosy variety has arrived." He adds, getting up and stumbling backwards awkwardly. "OH-" Lizzie giggles slightly as Joel falls into the river, rubbing away the water splashed onto her face with her tattered sleeve. She giggles even louder at the loud string of curses that follow the brunette's mistake.

Joel huffs crossly as he stands up in the shallows of the river, shaking his head violently like a dog as he attempts to dry his hair somewhat. "Oh, for goodness' sake-" Lizzie smiles as she gets up, and Joel smiles awkwardly as well. "Guess you should get back to your fellow Nosy Neighbour, hey, Pearl?"

The faerie nods, grinning. "Yep. See you around, Joel." Lizzie can feel Joel watching her as she stands up and clambers back towards the tower.

For the first time since she arrived in Limited Life, the ticking noise has stopped.

——

I like to think that in-universe, the people who drop out of any life series (E.g Skizz not being in Double Life, Ren not being in Lim Life) do so because they're too shaken up by the previous series, and Lizzie feels very strongly this way.

So returning to Limited Life, even for only a session, didn't give her very good feelings I don't think.

I don't proofread so sorry for any errors <3

[trivialbob]

For the second night in a row I could not decide what I wanted for dinner. Sheila, on her way out to go play pickleball, said "Why don't you try the bar menu at that new Brazilian place."

This nearby restaurant opened several months ago. It's one where servers prowl the floor, offering diners a big assortment of meats. Available are assorted varieties and cuts of steak, pork, chicken, sausage, and probably two different endangered species. Mmmm, spotted owl.

I wasn't in the mood for pounds of meat, even if it is served in small and multiple portions. Before I left home I read the menu online. The picanha steak burger with chimichurri sounded interesting. It was reasonably priced (by today's standards) and fries were included.

When I arrived I ordered as I removed my jacket. The bartender was working his first shift ever there. He thought I was a regular, because I'd ordered without looking at the menu. We chatted briefly, and I explained I was as new to the place as he was.

While I sipped a Surly beer and waited for my food he came around with a bar cart. On it were two ceramic bulls. One was filled with a pineapple drink, the other contained a strawberry concoction. The liquor in each was cachaça.

"Since you and I are both new here, have a shot for free."

I got to "pour" a pineapple shot myself. The bull's valve is operated by pressing on its testicles, allowing the liquor to dribble into a shot glass. But it was free!

Only one table in the large dining room was occupied during my visit. The entire bar was mine. Employees outnumbered diners. At times I could hear them talking loudly, as if they were cleaning up after closing and having a beer before going home. I worked in a restaurant one year of college and remember doing exactly that, but when the place was actually closed.

I want this place to succeed, but have my doubts. A very unfortunate choice of fluorescent bulbs, or maybe LEDs with "arctic white" hue, didn't convey any sense of warmth. A nearby tavern has a fireplace and soft lighting and every bar stool was occupied.

The burger was... eh. A yardstick I use to measure up restaurant food is "Is this better than something I could have made myself at home?" Frankly, I could have done a little better than this one. Not helping were the Wonder Bread bun and food service fries.

The bartender was super nice. A little chatty, but not too much. Moments after I gave my card for payment my watch buzzed with a message from my bank showing the card usage. The amount was higher than I had mentally calculated.

When I got the paper bill I saw a $5 charge for that free shot and a 3% credit card fee. The beer was at the high end of the price range for similar restaurants. I didn't say anything and tipped based on that full amount.

Looking on the positive side of this, Sheila will be spared from having a similar experience, unless she wants to go there by herself.

[sussysatann]

MY THOUGHTS - HALLOWEEN EVENT: SPECTRAL SOIREE

[Spoilers for a Twisted Halloween: Spectral Soiree under the cut!!]

OKAY, SO...

I started playing TWST around February/March time this year, so I haven't been able to play the first Halloween event from last year. Though I'm missing context from what happened in the previous event, I still enjoyed playing through the story. There were some good moments during the story and really seemed like the stakes were high, but I can't help feel that the ending diminished that and left me feeling unsure. The ending twistune was super cute! It was nice seeing everyone come together and I did find the ending humorous, but also wished it had leaned into those high stakes more and have actual consequences for it?

I haven't seen many people posting about this event. I thought there'd be more posts about it since it's a new second part - I didn't realise until much later on that the EN server already had the event later last year. Why would they re-release it in August?? It's such a strange choice, but I've seen many people theorize they did it to prepare for the Masquerade event, which might be next (I will scream if it is i have been SO EXCITED to play this!!) and will hopefully happen either in September or October. We will have to wait and see...

Anyways,

Short story short, I liked the event. The never-ending Halloween concept was super cool and the ghost fights and possessions really upped the stakes, making for a really suspenseful and fun story. There were several memorable moments throughout, one of my favourites being when Leona and Ace were trying to get Floyd to not touch a possible dangerous artifact and Ace questioning Leona's entire party boat story afterwards. I really loved the group pairings in the spectral realm, it was so nice to see the different dynamics and interactions they had with one another. Riddle, Ruggie and Ortho's conversations about adventures and puzzles were so sweet!

Speaking of puzzles and escape rooms...

I can't help but feel a little bit pissed off at Lilia and Malleus for putting them through all this. But then again, they didn't know what was going down behind the scenes and weren't informed of the ghost fights, so they're not entirely in the wrong for that.

But they DID make it incredibly cryptic in the worst way possible, to the point where even the teachers were concerned. Students vanishing into thin air, appearing to be kidnapped, is not something that'll get taken lightly. Especially when Lilia was yelling outside Silver's dorm, seemingly getting kidnapped too. That really must've fucked him up, especially since no-one else heard him scream. I felt so sorry for him - he genuinely thought his father was in danger the entire time, only to find out he was helping Malleus host a grand party for the ghosts. Obviously I'm glad they ended up being okay but MAN that wasn't fair on him. Sebek as well - they both thought Lilia and Malleus were in peril and were so genuinely distraught over the whole situation, it made me pretty annoyed that they didn't think through Silver and Sebek's reaction to something like this.

On the one hand, it was the ghosts' fault for fighting and possessing students. On the other hand, Malleus and Lilia are also to blame for the setup of the 'prank'. And on the other other hand it was also technically the students' fault for fighting the ghosts in the first place, but when you're put into such a seemingly dangerous and unpredictable situation, you go straight into fight or flight mode. I don't blame them for reacting the way they did.

That aside, I also kinda wished that the event was actually that dangerous, that Lilia and Malleus really WERE possessed. Imagine if there was an actual boss fight. An actual enemy. Someone who genuinely DID want an eternal Halloween, and needed the mirror shards to create a mirror portal to the human realm and take over even more bodies of the living. A ghost uprising if you will.

Imagine the teachers and the few survivors having to fight off an entire army of possessed students with a genuine intent to harm.

Imagine Malleus and Lilia being genuine threats and holding the prefect and Grim captive while everyone is trying to fight back without overblotting.

...That might be a little overkill.

BUT.

It would've been interesting to see actual consequences arise from this. I can especially imagine the prefect being really affected by the Spectral Realm.

They're already in a world that's not their own, so being thrown into that world's literal afterlife would really mess them up - whether emotionally or maybe even physically. Maybe they get really sick once they get back, maybe they were (unknowingly?) on the verge of disappearing permanently. Maybe that's why they were so worried about joining Malleus and Lilia. Because they were scared of what could happen to them, Grim not really understanding that. I love that Ace was so concerned about them both, he really is a great friend and I kinda wished these concerns were brought up a bit more.

Anyways, if you've made it this far thank you for reading!!

Feel free to add on to this, I'd love to know your thoughts and opinions! ♡

[softquietsteadylove]

Ahhhh second first date! Second first date! Of course i need to know how it goes!!

"And the server was definitely super jealous of me."

Thena laughed again. That was all she'd been doing since they left the house, she was quite sure. Since Gil 'picked her up', that was to say.

It was very sweet. He had showed up at her guest room door, dressed up and with a charming smile, even making an attempt to look nervous. He asked if she was ready, offered his arm; he was the perfect gentleman for their first date.

Her second chance.

Of course she had to know more about their first-first date. And Gil was happy to elucidate her once she insisted enough that telling her that much would not cause her brain to catch fire (as the doctor seemed to have implied in some way).

"But it was a nice dinner, then I walked you back to where you were staying at the end of the beach," he recounted, his eyes completely starry. "I had never gotten to actually have a romantic walk on the beach, before. Total bucket list stuff."

"It sounds lovely," she remarked mildly, without much choice with no memory of it for herself.

"The moon was out and everything, and it looked really pretty with your hair and your white dress, and the shawl thing-y you had on over it." Gil gestured vaguely to simulate the flowing garment she had worn over her bare shoulders. It certainly painted a picture, and she was quite sure she knew what he was referring to, having glimpsed a long white shawl in their closet.

She tried not to laugh too hard, mindful of the gentle atmosphere of the bakery. The tables were really just for people waiting for orders. They didn't have a fancy coffee machine, or an official barista. But Gil did bring out cups of real, boiled hot cocoa from the back--a secret only for their own, of course. They were waiting on their fresh baked pastries to come out and cool.

"I was so distracted by you that I didn't even realise when we were back at your doorstep," he sighed, but his comedic tone faded. He looked at her more softly, leaning his cheek against his hand. "I told you flat out that I was having such a good time I wished you were staying further away."

Thena attempted to laugh into her mug, this time.

"You laughed at it then, too." He sounded more wistful now. "But I told you I was serious and asked if I could see you again. I don't know why you were so surprised."

Probably because she had never been one to be asked out by someone like him. Men, sure, but not very sweet, very funny, very honest gentlemen like Gil. Just...men. She wasn't approachable enough for someone as sweet and charming as Gil.

She still thought that, to a degree.

"But you agreed, and I asked if I could kiss you too," he at least smiled at this part of the story, although his longing for the past remained. "You said I didn't have to ask, which wasn't a yes, but I guessed I was supposed to read between the lines."

Again, the Thena in the story and Thena herself in the present were different people. But she felt her stomach clench faintly at the idea.

"I did kiss you," Gil sighed, returning to his lighter, more jovial tone. "And it totally blew my mind. I mean if I wasn't in love with you already, that would'a done it."

"Gil," she admonished lightly, partly laughing and partly sheepish at the description of this passionate kiss she couldn't remember at all.

"What?" he chuckled before taking a sip of his own hot chocolate. "You wanted to know. And that date changed the rest of my life, sweetheart."

She liked it when he called her that. She nodded, looking down at her mug. "I suppose I did. It's a nice story."

"Yeah," Gil concluded, although his sigh felt a little heavier.

She still didn't have any memories of her own to contribute. But she attempted to jump over that wave of guilt, trying to put a smile back on his handsome face. "What was our second date like?"

He clearly knew what she was trying to do, but he kept quiet about it at least. He pulled himself up in his seat and started his next story. "Well, we were still on vacation. I asked a little more about you, and you at least told me you were an artist, and you were there on leave because you found teaching wasn't really your thing."

Thena winced faintly. She was sure that was an understatement. She did have memories of teaching before moving to their current residence, and none of them made her glad to have them instead of memories of Gil.

"I told you that I had been a boxer in college, and that I was just working some boring office job and also wanted," he paused to shrug and make a face, "a change of scenery."

They were both in the midst of becoming different people when they met. How fascinating, Thena mused. Although she was quite sure Gil had always been sweet and charming and funny. Just a feeling.

"It was actually you, on that date, who asked what I liked to do for fun," he admitted much more quietly. He looked down at the table, picking at a chip in the lacquer. "I told you I liked baking and you said I could try working part time in it, just to see if I liked it enough to make it my job."

"It sounds like something I would suggest," she agreed. It was hard to imagine the man she knew now doing anything else, really. Although it was almost funny to imagine him stuffing those muscles of his into a regular office suit.

"I said I'd give it a try," he chuckled, reaching for her hand. She gave it reflexively, sense memory knowing Gil much better than her own mind. He kissed her knuckle. "And now I have the best job in the world."

She smiled down at their adjoined hands as well, feeling as if the weight of the world were on top of them. "The date, Gil?"

"Right, right," he chuckled, allowing her to move the story away from the more emotional of the topics. "Well, you suggested that, and I asked about your art some more. And since the restaurant looked kind of full, and I didn't think that was your scene, I asked if you wanted to walk along the boardwalk a little first."

"We walked by a bakery there, and you asked me what everything was, since I was 'the expert' and all."

That also sounded like something she would say; Thena attempted not to roll her eyes at herself.

"I pointed out the regular stuff," he shrugged and even looked at the pastry cases in front of them in the moment. "Croissants, cupcakes, they had some tarts. You asked about one in particular."

Thena tilted her head as he paused, but she leaned back as he did, having been so sucked into the story that she didn't even notice Ajak coming over with two small plates.

"Thanks," Gil smiled at the petite woman, obviously familiar with her.

"Thank you," Thena added, keeping her eyes on the woman who only smiled and waved in response. Ajak knew her, Thena was aware, but Gil had been determined that they could meet formally when Thena felt more ready to reintroduce those parts of their life to herself.

"This is called a petit four, just a small cake," he chuckled, turning his own plate so she could admire the little dessert from all sides. "It's pretty old school, but you asked me about it when I pointed it out to you. I bought one so you could sample it, even though you told me not to."

Thena eyed the little dessert. It seemed to be vanilla, small and glazed completely white. There was something on the top of it.

"I add just a little sea salt to mine. Call it a secret ingredient."

It was just a hint of salt, but it sank into the sweetness immediately. Just like on that day five years ago, she had tasted the saltiness of the ocean air around them as she took a bite. She could remember the wind on her skin, and how warm Gil's hand was in contrast. The smell of the little shop and the breeze around them, and Gil's cologne wafting gently over to her.

Thena whipped her head up at him. He blinked at her sudden movement but didn't say anything. He was trying to read the expression on her face.

She didn't have any other memories of it. Just that one moment had jumped out at her as she had tasted that same taste--perhaps an improvement upon it. She could remember Gil's smile as she had told him that she liked it.

"You promised."

"Hm?"

She blinked, trying not to cry over a silly little cake. "You promised you would make me one sometime. I told you I expected it to be better, since you were indeed, 'the expert'."

Gil teared up immediately. Of course he did, the gentle hearted giant. "Y-You-"

She looked down at her cake again, the pressure immediately mounting. "It's just that one moment. I can't remember past that. But-"

Thena startled as he launched from his seat across the tiny cafe table from her. He caught her lips at a funny angle, but they both tasted like chocolate and vanilla and sea salt. Her eyes fluttered.

"Sorry," he chuckled, offering a sheepish grin as he seated himself, ignoring the worried glances of other bakery patrons. "Couldn't help myself."

"Hm," she pursed her lips faintly, and he returned to his cake, unable to keep himself from staring at her. She dabbed at her lips, resisting the urge to fan herself. She still had her coat on, but it felt far too hot now in their little corner by the window. "Whatever happened to asking?"

"You told me I didn't have to ask."

[mushiewrites]

hallo

so abt the ask from that anon asking for 22 with karlnapity-- theres a chance that its not but i found this that u reblogged: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/twordishfics/688269871964897280?source=share

22 seems to be “I love you, but this has to happen.” which if thats the correct post i see why that anon chose 22 for karlnapity

it might not be but im like- 70 to 80-ish percent sure thats the post the anon chose 22 from

-slime

from this post!

oh my gosh IT IS, thank you so much Slime!!!

For anon - I know not everyone is super comfortable with irl ships so I'm doing c!Karlnapity, I hope that's okay!

Karl and Quackity had been enjoying the afternoon off, lazily laying around in the king size bed they had to share between them and Sapnap. They had put on a movie as background noise to pass the time as they fell in and out of sleep, having quiet conversations about nothing and everything, just feeling warm to be in each others presence. The calm, sleepy atmosphere was a nice change from the usual hustle and bustle of the server.

However, they knew it wouldn't last forever as Sapnap made his way to their room, already talking a mile a minute as he ranted about the things that annoyed him throughout the morning. Karl had rolled his eyes, turning to bury his head between two pillows to drown out the groaning from his fiance standing at the end of the bed.

"Really? That's how it's gonna be?" Sapnap smirked, reaching under the covers and grabbing Karl's ankle, gently bringing up his free hand to run his fingers over the socked foot and giggling when Karl yelped. Sapnap kept a tight grip on the ankle in his hand, steadying it as he ran his fingers with a rougher touch down to his heel, before dragging his nails up and under Karl's toes. Karl squealed at that, thrashing and kicking his free leg, yanking at his trapped one until he finally was able to break free.

"Sahapnap, DON'T!" Karl sat up in the bed, drawing his knees to his chest and rubbing at the foot that was still feeling the tickles from seconds ago. Quackity giggled fondly from next to Karl, ruffling his hand through the brunettes hair as he turned to look at Sapnap.

"Come on, Sap, we were just relaxing. Why don't you come lay down, you big brute?" Sapnap smirked at the nickname Quackity had come up with, rolling his eyes as he crawled his way onto the bed.

Before he settled down in the spot the two had made for him between them, Sapnap turned towards Quackity before running fingers along his sides, increasing the pressure and speed the more the boy under him struggled.

"Fuhuhuck OFF SAHAP!" Quackity tried his best to stay firm, speaking through gritted teeth to try and keep the giggles down. Sapnap shook his head at that, not liking that Quackity was holding back, so he quickly moved his hands down and squeezed at the joints of the smaller boys hipbones. Quackity screamed, gripping onto Sapnap's wrists and attempting to pull the hands away from his hips when suddenly the hands were completely gone.

Quackity opened his eyes to see a very giggly Sapnap under a very grumpy Karl, who was straddling his waist and gripping his wrists tightly so he couldn't fight back.

"P-Plehease guys, this doesn't have to happehehen!" Sapnap couldn't help but nervously giggle through his pleading, kicking and thrashing as much as he could as he became tangled in the blankets. He silently cursed himself for being so wired most days, knowing he had brought this on himself.

"I love you, but this has to happen." Sapnap turned his head to the right as Quackity spoke close to his ear, pressing his shoulder up and rubbing it to try and get rid of the ghost tickles the soft voice left.

Before he had time to beg or plead again, Quackity had grabbed both wrists from Karl, quickly pulling them above Sapnap's head as Karl darted both of his hands under Sapnap's arms. The brunette screamed, arching his back and trying to kick as much as he could, but it was no use. He was well and truly trapped below his fiance's, with nothing left to do besides give in to the tickles the rest of the afternoon.

[mayalaen]

i’m sorry for pushing you guys away

My family has had A LOT of counseling over the years, but I’ve had very little because counselors don’t seem to know what to do with schizophrenics and they end up doing weird shit to me.

Recently my brain has decided that the childhood experiences I thought weren’t a big deal were actually pretty traumatic, and my brain wouldn’t let me stuff it down anymore. Damn, but I was so good at stuffing that I didn’t even realize I had anger issues!

Apparently I have A SHIT-TON of anger issues 😲

However, in the process of going through counseling, my mom and I finally have a second label for the 4 bipolar people in my family who have caused me the most trauma.

They’re not JUST bipolar. They’re also Malignant Narcissists. Surprise! (Generations of abuse+substance use+mental issues breeds these fuckers if you didn’t know)

It’s kinda nice to have a label for them because now we can learn how better to deal with them, and the tips we’ve learned so far have worked GREAT!!

The BAD NEWS is that they’ve all carried a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder for years, so I assumed all the toxic manipulative shit was due to being bipolar. Because that’s what I was told! (I did think it was odd that most of their behavior wasn’t included on the symptoms of bipolar disorder lists on websites and in psych books)

Because of that, I’ve put distance between myself and bipolar people I start to become friends with as soon as I realize they’re bipolar or have mood issues.

The reason I’m posting about this here is because I’ve been pushing away some really great people who are simply bipolar, thinking they were just being nice to me until we got close and then they’d unleash the manipulative toxicity on me.

I can’t tell you how hurt and angry this it makes me that my family’s behavior fucked up my friendships, but I’m also thankful for the thick skin they’ve given me.

There’s a few people I could name, but I don’t want to out them if they haven’t told anyone else they’re bipolar, but if you see this and you’ve tried to be friends with me and you’re bipolar or even have the barest hints of mood swings, this is for you.

I AM SO SORRY 😭

I really liked being with you. You’re fun and easy to talk to. You’ve never actually hurt me, but I was protecting myself.

As you can imagine, this has been super upsetting, and it’s part of the reason I haven’t been around much.

I went through a grieving period for all the people I could’ve been friends with over the years and quite a number of fuckbuddies and even a couple relationships that could’ve been long-term.

It’s not completely my family’s fault -- counselors told us what they were and missed the malignant narcissism diagnosis -- but I’m in the anger stage of this whole process, and I’m really fucking mad and resentful. I haven’t even been able to look my father in the eye for months now.

Good thing he’s so narcissistic that he hasn’t noticed or cared otherwise I would’ve had to talk to him about it 🤣

One of the things I really enjoyed was watching movies online with friends, and something I’m really excited about is that I’ve created a Plex server with just over 2000 movies and almost 300 TV shows on it, closed captioning as well.

At my insistence, as a family we finally cut ties with cable TV and big ISP a few months ago, so we’re not spending ridiculous amounts of money with Cox. I put two months’ worth of Cox bills to good use with this server, and we’re all enjoying that and a few paid streaming apps.

Which means that I can easily set up and host movie nights for friends and share my libraries with friends 🥳

Of course with me being in the middle of selling the shop, I have no time to do this, but I have hope that I’ll be able to do this soon and play games again and try to rekindle friendships that I hopefully haven’t fucked up beyond repair.

If you’ve made it this far reading through all my rambling, thank you 💜

[sporadically-sexy]

Soft JayTim A/B/O

Having some E rated A/B/O JayTim thoughts based on something in the Capes & Coffee Discord server. Huge, buff, Omega Jason and small, dainty Alpha Tim who dotes upon his gorgeous atypical omega, showering him in jewels and pretty things. Notfic below the cut!

Jason doesn’t generally like alphas because they tend to try and dominate him, but Tim isn’t like that. He’s always very respectful of Jason’s space and decisions. He never intrudes, never tries to tell Jason what to do. As they get to know each other better, naturally Jason starts to fall for Tim, and one day he blurts out “Why are you still single? You’re the whole package.” And Tim laughs and says that there are plenty of omegas who don’t want an alpha who looks like him, even thought Tim could probably take down any alpha twice his size in a fight.

“I’ve never actually been with an omega before. Steph and Bernard were both betas, and Kon was an alpha.” Jason is glad to hear that Tim’s not with the clone, because he hadn’t been sure, but he doesn’t know where to go from there. Instead he blurts out “Do you want to try it?”

“Being with an omega?” Tim asks, nonplussed.

“Yeah. I mean, I’m an omega, and we could...” Jason trails off, blushing scarlet. He just propositioned Tim, completely out of nowhere.

But Tim just swallows hard and says “Yeah. I mean, I’d like that, if you want to. I can promise I won’t be a knothead about it.”

So they set a date, and Tim is super gentle about it. He absolutely worships Jason’s body, driving him mad and eating him out before he even fully gets his cock out. Then he fucks him softly at first, and then nice and hard at Jason’s request. It’s the best sex Jason’s ever had, and he wants more. So they form a friends-with-benefits thing. But as they grow closer, they both fall hard for each other.

Tim asks Jason to wear something special for him. Of course he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t like it, but Tim presents him with traditional omega jewelry, beautiful body chains that drape over his torso and limbs, made with precious metals and jewels. And Jason’s like “I’m not like that. I’m not a dainty little omega.” And Tim’s like “I know you’re not, and I don’t want you to be. But you still deserve to feel beautiful. It will all fit you, I checked.” Little does Jason know this is all the ancestral Drake family omega jewels.

Naturally, Jason looks gorgeous. And Tim fucks him in it, and then plugs him up with a solid gold plug with the Red Robin symbol on the jewel encrusted bottom. It’s a vibrating plug, designed with an app Tim programed himself to be unhackable.

That’s it, those are my thoughts. I may add more to this later, or make a real ficlet out of this. Obviously, eventually they get together and Jason eventually finds out that these are the Drake family jewels Tim is using, and they live happily ever after, the end.

[risu5waffles]

Ope. Another (ten) Shrimps on Barbie

Did you know the flamebreathing bartender Cenobite from Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth was also named Barbie? Probably not, 'cause that guy suuuucked. Not as bad as that goof-ass camerahead guy, but still.

Anyhoot.

Oh my gods. The tile card says LBP3, and this is totally an LBP2 level. Now i need to crawl in my hole of shame. This one was pretty fine, and i had a good enough time wiv it. i kind of feel like the environment looks a bit better the less of the background is shown. It's a touch too empty to be used as more than an accent point, at least the area of it that this level uses. Those winchy grab pads were pretty cool though. They get a little wonky at times, but, if i'm being honest, i never got them to work quite right myself either, so i feel bad docking points. All in all, not exactly a standout level, but a nice one to go through all the same.

This one was a lot of fun, and it picked up a team pick pretty shortly after publish, which it deserved, but, like, Sumo could have waited a day or so so my video would have come out first, you know? i really like the Seaside Surprise pack, it's got a whole chunk of good materials and decorations, even if i'm not the biggest fan of the music. Also it's a totally original (as in unlicensed) thing, so no worries about it getting delisted as long as the game itself is still up. Would i be happier if we didn't have to buy building materials? Sure would; but i recognize even wiv an unrushed game, there's no way a dev could get everything in there, and at least the kits have been robust, largely sparing (as opposed to the costumes. Too damned many of those), and fairly cheap. i want to give a special shoutout to AlphabetGoo for trying to implement the old Super Mario World flip to the backside of the fencing. That was actually kind of nostalgic. They didn't pull it off perfect, since it'd be really difficult to get the fence itself to rotate (you could do it wiv a decoration rotator, having the actual climbable material invisible, but i'm not sure if there's any decoration that approximates the look here. Certainly not one that would blend seamlessly wiv the rest of the set up). This whole level was a good time, and the race was actually fun and pretty well paced.

This one's just super charming. rainrainrain did a great job getting the feel of the tavern sections, and there are a lot of little, neat interactable elements. The circus show at the end comes a bit out of left field, but i'm more than willing to forgive it, because it was (a) fun, and (b) a good continuation of the charming atmosphere of the earlier sections. The tightrope bit was really keen, too! i wish i had cottoned earlier to what the meter meant, tho'; i probably could have gotten an ace on this level otherwise.

We talked about Winterland a few days back. If you missed it, i kindly ask you to get thee to the archives. Typing up ten of these spot reviews takes a little brainpower, and i'll skimp where i can.

A bit of a bittersweet gallery here, the creator saying goodbye to their Japanese friends when the Jside servers got shut down. i saw a fair number of goodbye levels and messages from the Japanese side of the LBP community, but it feels a bit rare to see one to the Jside players, so this was touching. i will never not be salty over how we just got tossed under the bus like that. i had the means (and for a brief window the money) to rebuild on a US account but i don't think that was particularly common among players here, and most of them are just gone from community. i know LBP was never a big seller here (might have helped if you fucking promoted it a little, Sony, you fucking jags), but the community was as dedicated as you'd find outside Japan, and some of the talent was just top notch. i've seldom run into such consistently good music and paint work. Saaa... it's always a good time to say fuck capitalism, but fuck capitalism.

This is a really cool, intricate level wiv lots of mechanical movement, which (doubly so since it's LBP2 played in LBP3) makes for a bit of a wonky experience. i think this play was actually my third or fourth, because mechanisms kept not engaging and it was softlocking the level. i really should have put together an outtakes video to show some of the breaks, but i was running around headless-chicken that weekend, so no dice. Sorry about that.

i wanted to like this one more than i did. It's quite ambitious for an LBP1 level, and a lot of work has gone into environmental shaping and gameplay, but... it just feels so draggy. Part of that, i think is the lighting. The level was just a touch too dark in general, and then you have lights just not working, which is not uncommon in LBP1 levels played in LBP3. But it adds up to taking a more plodding, searching pace when originally it was probably a bit zippier. Also there's that break at the end, and i feel like from the level progress that it was right at the end, where the doors just wouldn't open up. i tell you i was a little steamed after all the effort it took to get there.

i really liked this one. It's a pretty straight-forward race, but aside from one bit, it's fair and it manages to keep its pace throughout. Also it's nice, and bright, and visually easy to parse, even wiv all the bits of decoration in it. Also also, it uses the Blackboard material, and that is honestly one of the best in the game; it just has such a nice look and texture to it.

i was so disappointed by this one. It's not the level or creator's fault; Intangir85 tells us right off the chump that the level needs to be played natively in LBP2, but i figured i'd roll the dice and came up snake eyes. What we got to see, tho', is really really cool. The extra abilities are quite well-implemented considering how much of a pain in the butt it was to get that to work wiv LBP2 tech, and i am always going to be a sucker for clockwork. Do i not have the Clockwork Child tattooed on my shoulder? Yes, yes i do. i probably could have gotten the puzzle at the end if i were a little quicker thinking, but i got there in the end, which is my favourite kind of puzzle. Shame that that's where it chose to break on us. Ah well, that's how it shakes out sometimes.

i really liked this one, even if i was expecting a very different visual style based on the level badge. The look is pretty kludgy, but it's more than made up for by the whole Rube Goldbergian style gameplay. There are a couple of parts that are actually a little tricky, and i felt pretty good getting to the end, even if it does go on for maybe a section longer than it really needed to. Still, this one might be my favourite of the set.

And that's that. Ten more down and another i think eighteen in the pipe i think before my archives backlog runs out? Something like that. i've got my notes, but the lights are off, and the sun's gone down, and it's too dark in my room to check.

Y'all take care of yourselves wherever you are. i know things are rough for a lot of us, and they don't look to be easing up anytime soon, but we just go on, 'cause, i mean, what's the alternative? Don't know about you, but even as depressed as i get (and that's pretty damned depressed), i'm still heavily invested in being alive, and i hope you are too. Love ya. Stay safe.

[naurufan999]

Look out Tumblr, I'm back.

Okay, so here’s me starting a Tumblr blog when I should be working on a project for university. Adulting is hard.

A summary for any newcomers since I moved from Twitter:

I was a huge fan girl for the Swedish indie rock band Nauru when I was much younger. I guess I still am, but more grown up. Fan woman? Is this a thing?

I guess it is a thing! LOL

And by default of course I was a fan of the singer, Axel Lundén’s solo music. I was too young to see Nauru more than one time before they broke up. But I did see Axel two times in Oslo, Norway where I live. I saw him at Blå, where I met Micke (RIP), but not Axel. Then I saw him at Krakatao, that was his final gig. Or at least he said it.

During that show, he sang my favorite song for me. After the show he signed the set list he gave me when he saw my scarred arms, or so he says.

The actual setlist:

I did not have it good as a young person. But I’m better now and my scars are now covered with awesome tattoos.

Well, Axel tells the story much better than I with my terrible English. You can read about it here and here.

This all really started when I went on the internet to solve the mystery of the posters for that 2014 show that suddenly showed up in 2021 around my work. And to find some fellow Nauru fans to discuss it with.

I found my old roommate Linnéa. And I made some new friends who are all so nice but had no idea who Axel is but for some reason still were super interested. And some others who just thought the posters were weird.

Maybe it’s best I didn’t find many old Nauru fans around. That fanbase was so toxic in the end. The people I did meet don't have the same history and this is maybe a good thing.

I think this mystery is solved now? I am pretty certain Kåre hung these posters all over. Linnéa found one in Karlstad also. My friend in Bergen even found them there!

(This is a picture Linnéa sent me from Karlstad, Sweden)

Obviously now that he wanted us to notice the website was back after so many years. And very similar to how it was then. With some obvious differences. The story for one, the about page for another, and a few other small things.  

Later I wrote a letter to Axel to apologize for being an idiot back in 2014. Since nobody knew whatever happened to him, I was not even sure it would ever reach him. It was worth a try!

My email:

Axel later responded to the email I wrote him and I was very uncool in my response.

My uncool response:

Axel's much cooler response:

Then we found him on Twitter, with a odd name and living in L.A. I was afraid he was going to call it quits and disappear again, but some nice people in Kåre's discord server got him to think different about things.

Now Axel tells a new story. Which is good, because I still have a lot of questions. The most burning among them for me and most fans: Whatever happened to Goodbye Susto anyway?   

I think we're about to finally find out.

Jinkies! Get in the Scooby Doo bus, folks! XD 

Sorry this was such a mess. But I am a mess, so what were you expecting?

K bye.

[skyfcx]

" Look on the bright side, Tails. We've definitely been in worse situations before, right? " // something something maybe they got stranded new and foreign, like an alien world or something?

     "Maybe so, but this is really fighting for the top spot, Sonic..."

     Alright. Let's take another run of that recap. An interstellar fight between Super Sonic and Eggman's latest and greatest creation had ended in a victory! Awesome! But the fallout of the Doctor's backhanded last-ditch effort sent the blue and yellow duo spiraling into the deepest depths of space. Less awesome.

     And also... the Chaos Emeralds that kept Super Sonic in the fight might now be scattered across the entire vast expanse of the cosmos? Seeing as how they didn't exactly have their usual planet to get strewed across after use. They were set into space, and those emeralds really flew when they burst out of their last user. Which was particularly bad, seeing as how the Chaos Emeralds were their ticket back. No Super Sonic meant no cosmic travel. No cosmic travel meant... no way home.

     The very least awesome it could possibly be.

     "This is like the Lost Hex cranked to a nice and spicy twenty. Most of my usual tricks of the trade are dead in the water here, man... Believe it or not, the servers I use for connection to geographical information are made for our planet, not whichever one we currently reside on.

     And we've been running around for a while, too. All to no avail. Is... is this planet even habitable? You'd think we'd run into a village, or a town, or a city, or a something by now, right? Could just be a big planet, I guess... I was sort of unconscious on the way in, didn't really get a good look at the whole place."

     Yeesh... a head is ultimately scratched, his handheld device stowed for the time being. It was a futile effort trying to get any information out of that thing. Gotta move on to formulating a plan better than relying on old ideals. Irritation. Frustration. Confusion and a lack of knowing what to do... The only reason he wasn't panicking was because his brother was here.

     "Mmngh... Sonic, you take point for a bit and lemme follow your lead. I gotta do some thinking back here. Would be nice if we could find just one spot of civilization, it would really put into focus our situation here..."

[isbraveandwild]

A lot of words to say, in short, that I’m a bad friend.

After what must’ve been some good year and a half, I checked into my Avistaz account again. I wanted to watch a Japanese movie based on a book I read earlier this month and couldn’t find it anywhere (legally) so I had to crumble to my old piracy habits. Nice movie, nice book. Some things I wasn’t a big fan of, but overall, nice watch.

That was not the only thing I did for the first time in some good year and a half this week. Just two days before I had a dream with an old internet friend of mine. I woke up and thought ‘holy shit, I should check into her’ and so I did. Had to download discord again, and after some struggle figuring out my login and password, there I was. First thing I did back in that hell of a .. whatever it is .. was leaving all my servers and deleting all the messages sent in the time I was not around. Did not concern me in the year I was away, does not concern me now. I looked for the server my friend and I had and that was gone too, before I could get my hands in it. I get it, I dipped, no one was using it, but it made me sad.

Whatever. So, I messaged that friend I dreamed with. It took maybe 15 minutes for her to reply. That was nice. Maybe I should check into all the internet friends I ghosted, huh? Logged into twitter for the first time in almost 2 years. My timeline looked like a fever dream.

I couldn’t recognize a single one of them. Different profile pictures, different interests, different names. I didn’t say anything. Took the first hour or so to go through all of their accounts trying to pick up on cues of their old selves in the haze of their new personas. Some I could link to my old friends; some I had no clue. It was a fruitless task, so at some point I gave up and just tweeted it out. Does any store have ‘sorry I disappeared for 2 years and no longer recognize any of you, how are you guys doing?’ cards?

Some reintroduced themselves to me so I could figure out the rest too. I can’t pinpoint who’s missing, but I also don’t think they’re all there. But I’m sorry to repeat myself and also to sound this cold: did not concern me in the (2) year(s) I was away, does not concern me now.

That friend, the dream one, was my closest friend for some two years. Talking to her again was natural, but it felt different. We changed a lot on the course of our friendship (we were 17 when we met and we’re 23 now) but we were together to witness those changes as it happened. With me deciding on taking an impromptu sabbatical year off of the internet, there’s a lot I missed. When we’re talking and the conversation nears a dead end, I panic. Come up with the first thing I can possibly think off. Preferably related to one of her interests so it gets her to talk and me to simply answer. I’m afraid she notices I’m having a hard time talking and thinks I’m sucking up to her or not being genuine. Maybe I am not. But I do want to talk to her. I do want to listen to her. I just am trying to figure out how.

When I was 3, or maybe 4, I befriended a girl at school. She was the sun of my solar system, and I revolved around her for almost 20 years Carefully crafted my personality so she’d like me, curated all my interests so she’d think I’m col, heck, I even convinced my parents to send me to the same super expensive high school she was going to attend once we graduated middle school. In return, I was maybe her closest friend for a while, and of course I was, because who wouldn’t want around someone whose personality is basically adoring you? She liked having her ego stroked, and I had no self-respect, so I was the ideal sidekick.

One day she said something... bad. I was sleeping over at her house. We had just started uni together (of course). I was still revolving around her clueless and careless of anything else. Then she blurted out something I would not dare to repeat and could not bother to explain the context of, but imagine something along the lines ‘but Palpatine isn’t that bad’ if you were a jedi or ‘Voldemort isn’t even that fascist!’ if you were Hermione (sorry for the Harry Potter ref in god damned 2023, couldn’t think of anything else). I couldn’t argue with her because I was so taken aback, and so surprised too. I laughed it off and said I was tired so I was gonna go sleep already. We turned off the lights. I cried myself to sleep.

You see, I was obsessed with this girl. So that was hard to deal with. I thought maybe I had misheard it. Maybe I was going insane. Maybe she didn’t mean it like that. But for the next few years, every now and then she would say something of the sorts - and it was always when it was just the two of us. One day she slipped in in front of another of our friends. When I went out with this specific girl again, just us two, she brought up the incident. So you heard that too?!

It took 4 years between that first comment until we last talked for the last time (her birthday, last year), so when the fall out came around, I was already over it. It was like saying goodbye to something already long gone. Totally over it, yeah, but just this month I cried in the middle of the night because the thought of that kid I loved so much thinking I’d grow up to leave her behind without a care for it made me feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest. She was once an extension of my own self as much as I was her shadow. Now she is nothing. I don’t miss her current self, wouldn’t change a thing about our friendship going sour. And I am well aware our relationship dynamics was never great. But, gods, I miss that little girl. Maybe as much as I miss the little girl I was.

Tomorrow is my last break day before the term starts and on the very first day of this break, I told myself I would talk with two other friends about why the actual hell things were so weird between us. Of course, I did not do that. I had been wanting too for longer than the break, but I did not need the added stress, so I waited until my classes were over. Then they were, but my friends weren’t, so I thought out of respect I should wait for them as well. Then theirs were, but stuff was heavy for them in other areas, and I did not want to bother, then....

At what point consideration stops being that and starts being excuses?

I have tomorrow still. Maybe I will text them. Maybe I won’t. Regardless of what I do, I will regret it. Life for me is none but a bunch of regrets piled up on top of the other and I’m fine with that. Or whatever.

[c3rnunnos]

#1

A nice update on my bloodborne experience! Been playing a bit more and feeling good!

Today I finished exploring Hemwick Charnel Lane and farmed a hell of a lot, mostly while exploring. I'm slowly getting the hang of parries and thriving; the big round bois with the big blades now all get visceral'd (once I stop fucking up the timing on the parry... Takes a couple tries).

Discovered the Lake rune and beat the Witches of Hemwick; i wanted to try to cheese them but I messed up and experienced the normal fight. Still, I am a humble spammer and am decent at grouping enemies up and then running away, so I managed to beat them in one try. They were super annoying though. I was shaking after I was done LMAO, I always end up full of adrenaline and shaking when playing videogames. That's probably not a good thing.

I was still high on the adrenaline and on the leveling (I managed to level up around 15 times in the past 4 days— played twice and farmed and explored) and decided to try and beat Vicar Amelia again, since I was level 44. I leveled up my saw spear to +5 and toggled my gems, readied up my fire paper and my insight, summoned Henriett my beloved and went up the stairs. Had to take a detour to satisfy Henriett's need for bloodshed and off we went!

The fight was cool, honestly; Amelia went down faster than the Witches, but that was because I had fire and Henriett on my side (and my compulsory spam: I managed to visceral attack her twice before she healed, and down she went). I am really getting used to using a saw spear. Favorite weapon as of now.

After that I still wasn't done, so I went off to explore a bit more! I went down the stairs on the right, opposite to the ones to Hemwick, and immediately met two dudes who tried to kill me. I managed to kill them with some difficulty (the shotgun spam was annoying), and then went to the downward path to the weird building. I got... Absolutely bodied by an Amygdala, it was embarrassing.

I also would like to thank the folks of the elden ring creative server, who were incredibly patient while I was getting jumpscared, being confused and finally victorious during a couple of calls. Yall are making my experience so much better and I'd love to keep playing while in calls with you.

[college-chronicles]

week zero

Day 1: song of the day: i don’t care if you’re contagious - pierce the veil

I lost my airpods and the $20 replacement… not a fun experience there. Moving in was not too much of a hassle, but last minute shopping was a pain. I already have so many of these things at home, but I forgot to bring them when I was packing, but it's fine. I’ve got what I need with me now. My roommates are great, super nice, and we’re getting along. I need a better showering strategy though, what I did today did not work.

Day 2: song of the day: like you know i get old - salvia palth, ew - joji

I did quite a lot today, got 20k steps in, mostly from running around where I didn’t need to go. I honestly don’t even remember what I did in the morning, besides getting up earlier than I intended, getting breakfast with Abby, one of my roommates, and playing guitar with Mark. He gave me two picks and showed me some technique things, so nice. I played piano again. It took me a while to get back into it, but it was nice, I hope i’m able to keep it up. Maybe I can play piano for jazz band. I don’t really want to play clarinet in orchestra or symphonic, and there isn’t a lot of room for it in a lot of jazz ensembles for some reason. I walked to ASP (African Student Programs) then back to Lothian because the location of a meeting wasn’t clear. I got asked for directions…I guess I don’t look like a freshman. I’m on day 4 of my duolingo streak. I went to the gym today and… wow some people really know what they are doing. The gym was the discord meetup, meeting up with more people tomorrow hopefully. Washed up after saying bye to my parents (and getting my airpods back.) Got boba hosted by a ministry, they’re cool people. Got back to Lothian, played piano, then went to bed. I met a business major… he’s chill. I need to know more girls fr. Hopefully will meet more in my major.

Day 3: song of the day: karolina by awilo

I don’t really have anything to do today, I’ll probably try to do laundry. Don't know where the replacement earbuds went, but they're somewhere in my stuff.

Day 4: song of the day: september by earth, wind, & fire

I didn’t do laundry. I did figure out a shower strategy. I got dinner with someone from the discord server, and on the way back from the dining hall (keep in mind, there is also one in the dorm, but we're saving that for the lazy days) we saw a raccoon and it jumped this guy's shoe and walked off like nothing happened. I got it on video, too. Hope to see more racoons.

Day 5: song of the day: hessian peel by opeth

I did do laundry. I also met someone from elementary school when I was in the laundry room, helped her with some stuff. I was late to a lunch thing, but I was able to meet some grad students who think I'm cool. Free food is also amazing, wish I took tupperware to get more of the tortilla wraps. They were really good. I ate one for dinner, too and proceeded to finish season 6 of desperate housewives. I have an interesting habit of stopping in the middle of an episode to go to bed, but I finish what I start in regards to my shows. (I still haven't watched the final episode of dynasty out of fear that I'll cry, and Miraculous still isn't over, so those are exceptions.)

Day 6: song of the day: haunt me (x3)

I slept in a lot today, and then got ready for block party, which ended up being really boring for me. Stood in line (in the very hot sun) with the business major, talked a bit, went on some bungee jump/trampoline things. The DJ annoyed me, and the artists kinda did as well, but I knew it wasn’t music I’m into. I mainly went for the discord meetup, which was successful. Met two commuters who are super active on the server. They’re both cool people.

Day 7: song of the day: i was all over her by salvia palth

I didn’t sleep until like 3 am because the block party was too overwhelming for me and the room was too cold and I had my first asthma attack in a few years. Not too bad. Forgot to take my allergy medication for the past three days, so that probably contributed to the asthma act up. The rest of the day was fine though, I woke up, took a shower, went to breakfast with my roommates, went to church where everyone kept asking me if I was eating well enough at college, came back and tried searching for research opportunities that interest me. Proceeded to play Minecraft for an hour, then go swimming with my roommates. The pool was a workout, just like the rest of this rather hilly campus. Walk back was uneventful. Got back to my dorm, took a shower, had a hall meeting that lasted for so long, then got back to my room to set a dumpster fire in the discord server and figure out how to make this blog.

editing Peace here. it is midnight, and i've got class at 9 am and i don't think i know where the class is. so that's week zero, onto week 1!