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#and it still feels completely genuine and not like theyre just doing shit for the sake of it
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stfu ART cannot be dead. surely not. this book is lying to me
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noisy-weasel · 2 years
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When you can't play the main story because you're too weak and you can't catch up on hard mode 3 chapters behind because you're still too weak and you can't play the event because you're too weak and farming levels is a horrible part time job and it's like well wtf man. wtf I'm supposed to do?
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thesundanceghost · 2 years
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man okay like vida really was such a good show
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butt-puncher · 5 months
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I wish that I was more
#sad hours at the huskin bee#personal#graduating soon and the animation department is collecting photos of everyone in the drive#and seeing all these group photos of everyone in the program makes me realize how distant i am from them#and how close knit everyone else has become...#ive never been good at making friends and within like the first few weeks of school it was like everyone got to know each other#and the few friends i made in the program left after the first year#i wish my social anxiety wasnt so bad i tried harder to make friends in college#also i have an essay due on monday and i might just not do it#or itll be really half assed#ive been doing well so far in that class so if i dont do it i think the least id get is a C#idk maybe i can still make friends w these ppl after college somehow but itd still feel weird bc i had a completely different shm experience#than they had#ahhhh#i can imagine a future reunion where ppl will talk to be about old drama that was big among this giant friend group#that consists of most people in my year that ill have no idea what theyre talking abt#bc im never in the loop abt anything ever lol#this actually happened at my hs animation reunion except i actually knew and talked to most ppl in that class#i wasnt like super close to most of them but i had a few closeish friends#and i know one of those friends probably werent/arent in the know#also like i did hear abt relationship drama back in the day bc gossip spread p easily#anyways i was told completely new information abt someone getting stalked back then so thats wild#and apparently there was a super handsome guy in our class that i for some reason have zero recollection of#point is i be the last person to know something and if i know smth then everyone probably already knew#which is annoying. i wanna hear gossip too. even in my own family my sisters will tell each other and our mom about shit that went down w#their friends or our cousins and i only hear abt it when im in the room#so i end up hearing a lot but never directly and sometimes not in full#man i shouldve gone on more college field trips#shouldve done a lot more in life that my insecurities get the way of#tbh i genuinely think i might have a form of undiagnosed anxiety; tism; or some other mental disorder
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arolesbianism · 8 months
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Sometimes I wonder if Jackie has favorite employees. Like obviously she has ones that she pays more mind to because they're more involved in the work she does specifically, but I also just think it'd be funny if there were random scientists she just gave the favorite treatment for reasons that absolutely no one can comprehend. Just her giving Devon their 50th pay raise this year and Ellie losing her mind because she's been working here way longer and even tho she's well paid she's still not payed half as well as this random guy and she has no fucking idea why they in particular are getting paid a fortune while also getting every single vacation request approved for seemingly no reason
#rat rambles#oni posting#ellie was jackie's first favorite before she moved on to her new favorites and ellie is eternally bitter abt it#olivia doesnt have facorite employees she just has employees she pitties the most#if its not an animal olivia has a hard time getting attached#jackie does get attached to ppl but not enough to actually properly care abt them#or at least not in a way that matters#she just kind of expects the ppl she likes to be on the same page as her and if theyre not then she disregards them almost completely#she doesnt want to stop having the ppl she likes around when they turn against her she just wants them to stop being against her#I do think jackie still loves olivia I just think shes real fucking shitty abt it#I dont think olivia ever necessarily stopped loving jackie completely but I think most positive feelings she had faded real fucking hard#like I think a part of her would be willing to reconnect with jackie but itd take a hell of a lot for that to manifest properly#olivia genuinely does not like jackie for most of what we see of her I think#and for good reason! jackie has been nothing but a piece of shit to everyone around her for ages at this point#but its still facinating to think abt what emotional attachments the two might still have#and how new attachments may look to them#we dont rly see either of them be particularly interested in any of the scientists asside from one off events#olivia especially really dosent seem to pay much mind to anyone else at gravitas#and I think it makes a lot of sense for these two to be generally antisocial given that as far as we can tell the only meaningful#relationship either of them have ever had was with eachother#I think they both just struggle with connecting with ppl for some reason or another#I imagine theyre both quite lonely but I can only rly feel bad for one of them lol#I do think a possitive relationship would help jackie emotionally but it wouldn't make her a better person lol#I think if olivia and jackie never dicorced or whatever itd make jackie barely a tiny tiny bit better and olivia way Way WAY worse#cause look at me. look deep into my soul. if olivia was more willing to compromise her morals shed be So much worse than jackie#like I fully think shed just start openly killing ppl for science her flimsy morals are the only reason she turned herself into an ai#like I can rag on olivia as much as I want but she could be So much worse
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toastsnaffler · 1 year
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maaan i was having breakfast w my flatmate this morning and she'd already done all her jobhunting stuff for the day extra early so she can play videogames and im rly glad shes able to motivate herself like that but also seeing the steam popup notifying me shes playing smth makes me feel like the kid who didnt finish the work and has to stay in the classroom during break watching their friends play outside
#it takes me like. the entire day just to do a measly 2 applications#theyre not even that difficult i have all the component parts prewritten so i can just copy paste relevant things or whatever#like i probably only cumulatively spend an hour a day doing this shit. but my executive function is so fucking terrible#so it takes forever and ever just to get myself started on it and then i cant stay focused at ALL bc i fucking hate doing it#and it feels so pointless bc w jobs its abt the quantity of apps u send out. i have friends who churn out 30-40 a week minimum#and then they still only get like 2 interviews how the fuck am i ever gonna get a single 1 at this pace im already trying my hardest#its so embarrassing i feel like a complete fucking loser i hate having adhd i hate bending myself backwards for the most basic shit#and im disabled so theres some stuff i cant do/struggle with and everyones like yeah theyll discriminate against u bc of it that sucks#like ik i dont need to be told that!!!!!!!!! or theyll be rly patronising and tell me not to mention that shit im not fucking stupid#but also its kind of difficult to avoid it coming up when i cant even answer fucking phone calls bc im too fucking deaf#and then im so exhausted by the end of the day i have no energy left to do anything creative or fun i just have to sit down and cry#or sometimes i play videogames or smth but my attention span by then has dropped off completely so i cant even enjoy it#genuinely soulsucking shit. having a job would probably suck too but i dont think itd be half as bad as this. uni wasnt even this bad#psyching myself up every morning only to want to kms every evening. what a world we live in#whatever. whatever i need to pull my shit together and get smth done today. uhgdhfkjhdhfghkf. sorry for complaining on main#.diaries#.vent
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dwaekkicidal · 14 days
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Bro I honestly love your work fr. Anywayyyy
As a Chan biased person who is 5'9 I wanna know your thoughts on skz with a partner taller or older than them. Like who would be most likely to have a partner taller or older than them and who would be least likely<333
hehe ty
OT8 with Taller!S/O
Most
Felix & Han
100% Love it the most 😭They're the babies of the group (and i stand by this always!!) so they're gonna love feeling/being smaller than you
they love the cuddles soo much :( it makes their days better, whether theyre big spoon or little spoon (they prefer being little spoon with you but you'll never catch them complaining about being big spoon if you want it <3)
wont hesitate to ask for your help if they need to borrow your height (and 1,000,000% will sit there ogling you with a cheesy smile while you do so)
Changbin & Chris
are indifferent about it until they realize just how much they like it... (changbin especially lol)
live up to the whole "tall or short, i dont care!" mindset until that first time you really tower over them; be it helping them get something from on a high place or if you kabedon them, even if its a joke, it will trigger this "oh. thats new." feeling in them 😭
will act like they hate when they need you to help with something because theyre shorter than you, but looove when you help them like that :'') & bonus points if you condition them to getting a (forehead) kiss after getting something thats too high for them
Seungmin & Minho
are the ones to actually be indifferent about it and stay indifferent the whole time lol. i'd say they will definitely have their moments of, "oh fuck, maybe i do like being smaller sometimes.." but for the most part will just not care and will genuinely not notice
also can and will make fun of you for being taller than them,,, expect being called shit like "(My) Namsan Tower" 😭😭 BUT ALSO this is very endearing (at least imo) because Namsan tower has that area where people will put their and their lover's initials on a lock and put it on the fence "for forever" so in reality it might be a tease but its also one of their biggest & most discreet means of saying"I love you" ever :'')
would rather bust their asses climbing something than ask you for help
Jeongin & Hyunjin
I think they would like it the least, at first. and it's only because they're used to being the taller ones in the group and amongst some of their friends, so it'll feel foreign for them to spend so much time with and be so dedicated to somebody taller than them lol
that being said!! they both would quickly learn to love it; Hyunjin would eventually be indifferent about it most days, but would absolutely love it on those rarer occasions
meanwhile Jeongin would learn to love it as much as 2Chan😭 hes not huge on PDA as is so you won't see it "in action", but there will be times where you notice it. especially if he's had a rough day/week, he will come up to you with the biggest frown and ask to cuddle
and if you dont baby him + make him feel small/completely surrounded by you, he will pout even more (but probably wont blatantly say why he's still upset😭❤)
Least
in reality i would put Jeongin above 2min, but for the "not liking it in the beginning" im putting him with Hyunjin at the bottom :3
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sanji-piss-hell · 10 months
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ZOSAN FIC REC
Here is some of my fave zosan fics. Some of these I read years ago and so I don't fully remember what theyre about but they we're good enough that I still have strong emotional attachments when I see the name. Most of them are things I've read recently. Literally all I do all day is homework and have an app tts fanfics to me like an audio book so there's quite a few of recs here. I am not the best at summeries but just trust me bro these are GOOD SHIT. I only provide the best. What I consider a good fic: - Takes place in the one piece world (I don't like modern aus) - Characters stay in character or if they do have changes from their canon portrayal there is a justifiable reason from within the story. - Solid story telling and arcs (even the shorter fics) - The Zosan dynamic is kept mostly how it is in canon they fight and bicker. (I know some like when they're soft with eachother like a loving married couple. You won't find much of that here) - Some of these have pervy sanji, que nose bleeds and ogling. With that out of the way here's the list!! Now to my fave zosan fic of all time and ironically enough the only fic taking place in a modern setting: Life is fine series. TW: Drug abuse, heavy angst, depression I have reread this twice and forced a friend to read it too. It is so amazing not just for the zosan but for the genuinely good story telling. You follow zoro reeling from his sudden loss of relationship with Sanji and falling down a...Well uh, path. It's fucked it's dark it's depressing and its fucking riviting. Alot of the time reading this you're just like WHY DID SANJI LEAVE HIM WHAT IS GOING ON??? Honestly I need to reread this again. Onto softer fics to heal your heart after that one: Honor in limits, his strengths in weakness By Hawksbrood
“Fucking hell cook, what happened to you?” Zoro demanded, voice low so as not to disturb the others sleeping nearby.
Sanji rolled his eyes. “What do you think? I told you we got in a fight earlier.”
“Not that, your fucking feet!”
The cook snarled at that, crushing his cigarette in his teeth. “What the fuck do you mean, my feet? They’re just feet!”
Zoro’s eyes widened, looking at the bruised flesh before him. This wasn’t that.
This was just so good and cute. I appreciate watching zoro appreciate sanji. They take care of eachother but in a way where theyre both still them yeah know? I appreciate how sanji is written letting himself be vulnerable but understanding that he's always gonna be crass cause it's just a part of who he is.
come on, come on (turn a little faster) by donutsandcoffee
The one where everyone thinks they’re dating, Sanji is oblivious, and Zoro takes everything in stride.
Sometimes a love story can go in reverse.
I reread this one recently and it's just soft and sweet. I like watching sanji flounder around. The gay panic is great.
a complete guide to falling in love by ThousandSunny Sanji was trained in the Bridal Arts; this does not go unnoticed by the rest of his crew. I read this like 3 years ago and I dont remember much but I do remember loving it!
Part Timer By 8ball Sanji really, really doesn't want to give Zoro a job at his restaurant. Zoro doesn't really even want to work there in the first place, but, well, there’s this thing with Sanji, and this thing with feelings and the whole thing is pretty damn stupid all together. Zeff just wants grandkids. He’s too old for this bullshit anyways. I am sure everyone knows 8ball very well they're like zosan famous but still just in case this one is really fucking good. Also read this 3 years ago so I don't remember much but I consider this a zosan classic. Onto the rated R Grand Buffet by asyndese Drunk fic!! If there was one thing Zoro knew, it was that you could always trust Sanji's inclinations to do a beautiful 180 as soon as he was drunk. Luckily, Zoro was more than equipped to handle it. I spent. 30 minutes. Trying to find this fic again because that's how much I loved it. It altered my brain chemistry. Sanji getting a nose job during sex is just. aaaaaaaaa. Read it. Cannot suggest enough. Horrors not yet known by Trixree
Sanji doesn’t know how he didn’t notice it before, is the thing. Of all the times he has seen Zoro shirtless (in battle, mostly) he just… never noticed. The problem is, once he has noticed, Sanji can’t seem to stop noticing. And neither can anyone else.
In which Zoro has a nipple piercing and Sanji has a Problem.
I recently reread this and the first time I read it I didn't really get the whole gender sanji shit. Now though???? Yeah another fic that rewired my brain chemistry. This fic opened doors for me it exposed me to a new world. Also sanji gay panic is in here and I live for that. It can be pretty raunchy (love that too) Three rounds with a tiger by KobochaKitsune Another drunk Fic!! also in modern times damn maybe I lied sdklfj
Liquid courage, drunken decisions, terrible euphemisms, and texts from last night, or: how to think entirely with the booze (and your dick) for once.
Or: By the time Sanji got to the party, everyone was already drunk.
I read this 3 years ago (theres a trend going on can you tell??) It also rewired my brain chemistry (from this point on just assume all of these nsfw fics rewired my brain chemistry each of these opened doors for me. This one opened the doors to bottom zoro.) Fucking 20k words of just pwp. I dont even know how the author did that bro like damn. Nature of things by stark_black Tw: Sex work and prostitutes When the Sunny docks, Sanji and Zoro sometimes seek out relief in some not so savory places. After crossing paths in town on more than one occasion, the two find they have a lot more in common than they would like to admit. I hunted this down for like fucking hours a couple of weeks ago because it was that good. Stark_Black has a fucking library worth of zosan fics this one is a classic to me. But if you want more content check out his other fics I think they have like over 100 zosan its kinda insane. Coregasm by Yakarmi
Sanji discovers that sometimes, Zoro has orgasms while he lifts.
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“You…” Sanji trailed off, gaze turning down as he licked his lips. Pink tongue darting out nervously. “You orgasm when you exercise?”
Zoro clenched his jaw. Shrugged. Trying to act nonchalant.
“Sometimes.”
Sanji’s eye went wide, and like his mouth had suddenly been liberated from his brain, blurted out, “that’s so fucking hot,” before clamping his hands over his mouth. His cigarette fell from his mouth, bouncing soundlessly on the ground.
Bro bestie, the way this put me on nose bleed Sanji. Perv sanji. I need that gif thats like mmm cause man this is good. Ending this fic rec with a BANG we have
Contingencies and Congruencies by PeaceSignDisasterBi
Somewhere between finishing the bottles of alcohol and mugs of beer, the crew comes together to create a contingency plan for something that may-or-may-not-happen during their time on the Grand Line and beyond. Usopp thinks it's more likely than bumping into zombies, Zoro wants to stay out of this, Sanji is just going with the flow, and Nami may or may not keep things legally binding and above board with consistent consensual acquiescence. Robin finds it all amusing.
The damn chart stays in the locked drawer in her desk, split into three neat categories: Devil Fruit Powers, Science, and Magic. Each represents whatever they're hit with but also categorizes the amount of self-control the person has during.
AKA: 5 times Zoro and Sanji had to help each other as Consensual Helpers of Dubious Consent + 1 Time There Was Nothing Dubious At All
Ok this is 152k long its pretty insane. It regoes over the arcs so throughly so carefully that I literally had to question my memory because I havent experienced alot of these arcs in a while (it's one of the reasons im rewatching one piece). I will say despite how amazing and well written this is I had a hard time comprehending sometimes. now I was sick at the time of reading this so that might be why but sometimes the way things were phrased felt like yoda talking. I think it's just me though. I'm not used to big words :( And thats a wrap!! These arent even all the ones I wanted to include I have at least 20 more off the top of my head but I'll save that for another day. I hope you find joy in these fics Like i did I'll def do another one of these as cause I didnt even touch my sanji centric fics or germa 66 or just in general the best sanji fanfic writers. (Mentioned some of them like 8ball, thousand sunny and donuts and coffee.) Best of luck to yall and let me know what you think!
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ell-does-stuff · 6 months
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MAKING A BIG OL POST OF EVERYTHING I GOTTA SAY ABOUT THE NEW SPOOKY MONTH BECAUSE HOLY SHITTTT THERES A LOT
‼️‼️SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY‼️‼️
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THE THIEVES ARE BACK WOOOOOOOO!! IVE MISSED THEM SM
also eepy lila
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while gathering images for this ive noticed that the "pile of dexter" as im calling it is staring at the thieves the whole time they're in the attic (specifically fat thief)
is he somehow still alive???? just possessing a pile of dead doll????????
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so cool to see the big ass spider get some actual relevance!! def gonna be important next episode for sure
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ROSS'S DAD!!!!!!!!
also jaune is so pretty with her hair down like omggg... love to see her being such a supportive friend to lila as well
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"are you throwing away dad's stuff mom?" WAAAAAA MY POOR BABYYY IM GONNA CRYYY
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HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN HI KEVIN
theyre so me
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DEXTERRRRJRJRJRHSHSHDBBDBSB!!+!!!!!(!!
"this cat looks sick im taking it to the vet" BULLSHIT i know what you are. 👁️👁️
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DEXTER'S MOM!?!?????!?!?!?!?!!!??? i had no idea she would ever show up like wow i did not expect to see her at all
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poor little babies and their lack of parents
ok sorry ik im joking here but MAN this scene made me feel bad 😭😭😭
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THE FUCK.
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pretty sure this dude is the same guy as the "costume bob" in the last episode??? i felt bad for him last time but here he seems like kind of a pathetic and weird ass man ngl lol
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RADFORRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!(!!(;+;!;(;;(;??;(;;!!(+!!++!(++!
HES SUCH A GOD DAMN SILLY NERD MAN LIKEEEEE "he even sounds like he does in the movies!!!!!!" BROOOO I LOVE HIMMMMMMMMMM DJJDGWHDHSHFH
he is EXACTLY how i pictured he would be!! my brain is not gonna shut up about him for the next few days i just know it HAHAHAH
also my caramelpopcorn (thats their ship name right?? or was it candycorn??? i forgor lol) heart is completely full, i loved actually seeing him and kevin canonically interact, they are perfect <3
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HES IN THE CANDY CLUB OUTFIRTBD RJSHNF EBDJFBSBDJC EJDUFBEBW DKXN SCUEBFNFBRJSJCJCHDB!!!!(!!!!!;+;(;!!(+!!
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"im... uh... like an uncle!!" "i just wanna help the children..." BROO??? feeling kinda bad for frank rn, these are like the only kids he genuinely cares about and hes being turned away from em
ik hes a shady guy but STILL
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GREGOR LOOKS SO GOOFY DOING THE DANCE JDBDHSHFHD LIKE WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THATTTTT
also i made this gif myself yall better like it
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aaaaaaaaaand dexter's mom is dead.
like son like mother i guess 💀
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love how ignacio's door has small little boards on it from when they bashed it with a hammer HAHAHHA
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also, looking at the inside of ignacio's house, is that john's family on the little table there???
one of the images in the arg gives a better look at this, but i had no idea it was in IGNACIO'S HOUSE of all places. why does he have that??? and right by the gun too.... what is this silly cult man planning......
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(the arg image in question if yall were wondering)
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"we understand you" "we're here for you dude" "thank you guys, i just wish things weren't so..." HATZGANG FRIENDSHIP WAAAAA!!!!!
also ROY HAS BEEN THROUGH SHIT MY POOR GUYYYY i wanna hug him mannnn 🥺
IMAGE LIMIT IS KILLING ME SO IM GONNA REBLOG THIS WITH MORE SHIT TO SAY BECAUSE I AM NOT DONE MANNN‼️‼️‼️‼️
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narwhalandchill · 4 months
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spicy take incoming but i kinda wish ppl werent so desperately attached to and protective of this moniker of Great Big Brother 100% Perfect So True And Real when it comes to childe bc honestly. he really isnt (perfect or even that good at times) and to me acknowledging the ways both he and his family (for enabling him) are in some ways kinda just. doing teucer incredibly dirty in the long term but only with the best of intentions in the short term is so much more interesting than just pretending hes a flawless brother?? like it only adds to the drama and irony of it all man like theyre rly so dysfunctional as a family unit its great. even if hoyos likely never exploring that shit in its true depth it still lives rent free in my head for sure lol
like. you rly dont have to turn ajax into some sort of unfeeling uncaring monster of a shit brother to acknowledge that he does, in fact, repeatedly make incredibly reckless and selfish choices during his SQ with teucer and in general by choosing to obstruct the truth of who he is from lil bro so completely?
like this stuff can be nuanced and coexist with his absolutely 100% genuine commitment to protecting teucers bubble of a worldview (and w the theme of childlike dreams and wishes being so prevalent in general who knows what could be cooking w that one in particular) and his loyalty and love for his family without just having to whitewash the dumb shit he does lmao
like just bc hes capable of and willing to face the potentially grave repercussions of absolute bangers (🙄🙄) like teaching an actual fucking child to consider ruin machines fun besties and 100% insta ready to fuck himself up by protecting teucer at the cost of aggravating his still-unhealed injuries from the liyue AQ when dottores abandoned lab turns out to be more lively than expected doesnt. make that choice not a very irresponsible one yall im begging 💀
like. hes the adult here . the entire situation unfolding as dangerously as it does in the factory is Absolutely all on HIM for not being able and/or willing to disappoint teucer by just . Doing the mature thing and sending him away to safety because HES gotten too attached to this idea of being his lil siblings' loyal knight and perfect brother that Always finds a way to surpass the expectations no matter the cost its a role HE wants to keep playing despite the risk
like its So obviously a pride thing for him too and thats so fucking interesting because Of how flawed and questionable the logic is!! like yes he truly cares about teucer and ensuring he has a great unforgettable time during this impromptu escapade in liyue like thats not up to debate but the point im trying to make is that the choices he makes are Still very much intertwined with his ego and overconfidence and not really based all that much on Whats Actually The Best Approach Here. he improvises a way to give teucer the best mr cyclops outing he has ever seen bc HE wants to be the one offering him that experience and ends up biting off a bit more than he can chew and he can only blame himself for that one and This Isnt Fucking Sustainable
like i dont think that makes him evil but i do think it showcases his arrogance and flaws in a very concrete way and is a part of why calling him a perfect brother or at least one without an asterix just. rubs me off wrong lmao
like idk feel free to keep calling him that if its important to u and all if u want idc (and i do to some extent get why this defensive narrative of insisting hes great no issues at all emerged bc i remember 1.1 some ppl acting like hes childcare satan for how he treats teucer lol) but. at least like . Be willing to chip in to fund the therapy teucers going to need for those lifelong trust issues in the future man 💀
Bc Thats The Other Thing. now tonia and anthon i dont consider a part of this bc at least they Know hes in the fatui and hiding the gory details of ur harbinger job from ur baby sibs is like. fair enough and reasonable. but. crafting an Entire different AU version of yourself and feeding it to your baby brother as what constitutes actual reality surely is a choice of all times like ajax ily but genuinely . What the fuck if you were real id throttle you
AND HIS FAMILY ENABLING IT THE ENTIRE TIME ITS CRAZY LIKE. As a person with multiple siblings both older n younger with some similar age gap cohorts involved. God id snitch so fucking fast i dont think ppl rly stop and think much abt how objectively horrifying this shit is from teucers long term pov 😭 in the best way obviously given its fiction like its so scrumptiously awful and dysfunctional .
(& just in general man im just so obsessed with the way ajax 14 basically broke the eggshell of his past life and emerged to rise towards his destiny drowned in the guts and gore of the place and people and community he once called home unconditionally. Bro he fucked that town UP and now his family relations will never ever be the same its so fucking Delicious. those 3 days missing and what followed are just Actually a literal fucking horror movie when you stop blindly stanning our ginger menace, forget ajax' side and take the pov of his family and morepesok in general Why Are People Not Talking About This)
like. its not that i dont understand Why this is sth childe ended up doing as i said Thats The Point. its human. teucer is the only one in the family who wasnt there during that fateful 3 days/months . Like yea anthon and tonia were prolly sheltered from most of the carnage back then too but they still Know where he was sent when he became literally uncontrollable and almost killed the neighbors (everybody & their mom loves demonizing his parents as if his demon spawn ass left them a fucking choice JFEJSJSJSKDKS) . like its at least Known.
but then theres teucer.
And like. teucers the Only one with whom ajax can even pretend to have that delusion (ha) of normalcy and a family that hasnt seen him gaze into the abyss and stare back bloodied and grinning ear to ear . like. hes the only shot childe can have at even playacting some crude imitation of normalcy before Everything and even That comes with an expiration date hes fully aware of. so theres just lies after lies after lies and the fact that even his family just. if not actively partaking in the charade then at least silently allows the entirety of it to happen to teucer whos the Only fucking one out of the loop is just..... dude its not fair on him At All
Misleading teucer THIS much is just. its fucking horrible man but i GET it. thats why its so delicious man i GET it but god its just . imagine being teucer in this situation.... thats his entire fucking World shattered once the truth comes out. Everyone close to him has been lying to him his entire time. They all knew and they let him be misled. Like sure he might be happier Now with ajax dutifully protecting that childhood dream of his but after that. Just. sit on this for a bit. after everything do we Really think teucers just going to understand why it came to be and see it as worth it???? Will he really????
yet at the same time as awfully cruel it all is its just So human!!!!! Its so human of both ajax and his family to use the innocence of the only child that was spared the aftermath of worlds best/worst 3 month abyss training camp to indulge in this flawed false reality where their third son didnt walk into the void and come back hungry for More until only the fatui could take him and even then it only spurred him on further on that path. Like its all an act and a lie and its just. Not fucking fair on teucer but hes still doing it and theyre letting him even tho they Know it wont last theyre all looking teucer in the eye every day and letting him believe like man....
like in both the entire ruin factory sequence And in general hiding the truth from teucer as extensively as childe does hes being incredibly selfish but at the same time its selfishness only rly in the way all people are when it comes to Wanting to be seen a certain way by the ones they love and care about. and thats what makes it so interesting. bc as much as the choices he makes are dubious (or like. this decision makes sense to him. a morally bisexual total omnivore ethics-wise narwhalpilled since 14 who sees exclusively in abyss shrimp colors and acts accordingly) both they and the motivations behind them are also just. So very human ones . as terrible as the implications and eventual inevitable downfall of those choices can (will) be.
like. is it not that much more fascinating to consider all the ways that childe is neither a particularly exemplary nor an egregiously bad brother just one that. Happens to be wired weird in the head and proud and flawed and with a track record of heavily suspect decision-making but that also very much genuinely loves his family man. Like i can love that about him without dismissing the fact that theres parts to how hes treating teucer that 100% can and imo rly should backfire horrifically bc. It really just is that fucked up
hes not a good brother hes Worse AMD better than that and also not alone in this like. his family is an active fucking part of this . But like still . Is he trying his best with his abyss shrimp colored vision ? Yes. Is his love genuine? Absolutely. What are the marks? 3/10 meet me in the office after class mister youre just actually horrible (affectionate) 😭
A perfect brother? Not My Ajax man 🗣🗣 and like theres SO MUCH to explore in that it makes me so sad you just. Never see any of it p much in fanworks bc we all just call him best bro and whatever and thats that like its so sad. this family is terrible horrible awful and no good and they deserve it but also didnt deserve it it was misfortune it was fate it was inevitable . justice for teucer man i need to get him in therapy asap
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quodekash · 4 months
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FUUUUUUUUUUUCKing hell theyre gonna kiss today????
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hes so grumpy already I love this so much
the silent conversations chain and toey are having with their eyes oml I cant
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pls this is so funny
theyre both deeply in love with someone else so it's jsut so unnatural to them
BUT ALSO id like to mention that the first thing chain did when he had to pretend to be hitting on toey was put his arm around his shoulders and rest his hand there. which is what he's literally ALWAYS doing with pun, no matter when it is, he's always standing next to pun with his hand resting on one of his shoulders
its like he associates his time with pun as being in a romantic relationship 👀
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THESE FUCKIN BASTARDS 😭
JUST KISS IM BEGGING YOU
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theyre lost in their own little world 🥺
kiIIIIIS
this is too funny, the cuts from "chain. chain what happened next." to ✨soulful dramatic guitar music✨
im sad they didnt actually kiss but also im not surprised
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LOOK AT THEM, DUDE
THEYRE SO NATURAL WITH EACH OTHER
I FUCKIN LOVE FRIENDS TO LOVERS SO SO MUCH
half convinced theyre already dating, they just cant be bothered saying anything so theyre waiting for others to ask them about it
PUN IS SO CUTE DUDE I ADORE HIM HES FUCKING ADORABLE
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I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH THEYRE SOIMPORTANT TO ME
if I ever have a romantic partner, this is what I want
I cant explain it, I just wanna run up to them with pure joy and excitement, and for them to hold me back by just pushing against my skull
it just seems perfect, idk why
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GB4JHERGB
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THE FRIENDSHIP OF ALL TIME
genuinely think I might be more invested in their friendship than all the romantic relationships in this show
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im fucking CRYING
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my king matt, this was so unnecessary and I love everything about it
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why does it suit him so well tho
they should kiss again I think
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I feel everything about this image on a spiritual level
THIS ENTIRE AMUSEMENT PARK SEQUENCE BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY AND DOPAMINE IM IN LOVE WITH THSI EPUSODE
NEW COMFORT EPISODE UNLOCKED
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look its really funny but I do feel bad cos this day is not even a little bit fun for him
like q is having a complete shit time
poor chain doesn't love amusement parks but he has to go on the rides with toey to keep up the facade cos toey loves these rides 😭
and its even worse realising Q also seems to love amusement parks, so he would be having a fucking amazing time if he could just go on all the rides next to Q cos they both love it so much 😭😭
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fuckin FINALLY
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LMAO WHAT
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THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I JUST SCREECHED WITH LAUGHTER SO LOUD AND ITS MIDNIGHT
THE PURE COMICAL SHOCK AS HE REALISDE WHAT HE SAID, THE EXCITEMENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE AS THEYR EALISE WHAT HE SAID
I mean to be fair it was REALLY obvious
im surprised no one noticed earlier but also its a bl so im not at all surprised to find out theyre all fuckin dumbasses
SERIOUSLY THO TANFANG IS WHAT I WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP HOLY SHIT
a lot of the time watching bls ill be like "I want that" but its usually as a joke
but THIS?? the fucking adhd bastard (me) who just wants to be near their partner and compliment and always stimming and just having a swell fucking time while the other one loves them but is mildly tired but also in adoration? FUCKIN GIMME
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also how the fuck has Q not realised, theyre all so fucking obvious
also also I cant explain it it just feels deeply as though pun and chain are for real dating they just havent told anyone yet
ill make a post about it all at some point maybe (I definitely wont)
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PHYSICAL TOUCH IS HIS LOVE LANGUAGE 😭😭😭
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HE DOESNT HAVE TO HOLD HIM SECRETLY ANYMORE THEY CAN JUST WALK HAND IN ARM NATURALLY NOW
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hear me out tho, this gets even funnier if he's actually already in a committed relationship that no one knows about yet
I dont think it's secret dating, it's just 'not super obvious dating to try and see JUST how oblivious all our friends are. its been three years at this point and still no one's said anything. we're starting to lose all hope.'
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I love tan so much, the little wave
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what the FUCK
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what the FUCK FUCK???
THE SOUNDWIN LINE????
HERE IT IS ITS FUCKIN COMIN GUYS
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HE SAID IT
HE FUCKIN SAID IT
[insert that gif of the crowd of people in the bar going insane]
holy fucking shit dude holy fucking shit
my legs are literally shaking idk if I can do this
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FUCK TO THE YES, FUCKING EXPLICIT ASK FOR CONSENT HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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WHAT THE FUCK
AND THE FUCKING SONG IN THE BACKGROUND !!!!
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HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE
im gonna be here all day
I dont even need to watch the rest of the episode now
I can just go to bed if I want and watch the rest later or smth
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dude I cant wait for q to realise that toey is milk frappe guy
HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT JUST PROCESSED IN MY MIND THAT THEY KISSED
WHAT THE FUCK
omg making out in a haunted house, what a dream
the workers watching on the security cameras probably had a blast that day
how funny would it be if there'd been a scare actor in the shadows in that room with them and they'd been about to scare them but they were too shocked with that tender kiss to remember they have a job
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he needs to lie on his bed and just stare at his roof and think about that for a while
tbh same
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look at him 🥺 he's so lost in that memory
thEY FUCKIN MADE OUT HOLY FUCK
welp on that note I think im done for now
I might finish the ep with my silly thoughts+screenshots later but for now tis the time for sleep
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eggyrocks · 6 months
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gnawing at the bars of my enclosure i loved the ch ending. ur works r so great keep it up. also do u happen to have tanaka n kiyoko relationship lore theyre so silly *twirling my hair and twiddling my fingers*
hehe im giggling the couple of all time okay here we go
tanaka’s first words to kiyoko were literally: “hi im tanaka ryuunosuke you’re very beautiful i think i am in love with you”
and all she could do was blink before yn was hitting him upside the head and dragging him away with a bunch of apologies directed at kiyoko
from that day on tanaka would not stop talking about kiyoko
he brought her up at least once a day
and at first everyone thought it was just a really intense crush
but tanaka kept insisting it genuinely was love at first sight
when yn and kiyoko started hanging out she didn’t tell tanaka
it’s not like she lied to him or anything
he just didn’t ask ok
tanaka was so betrayed though when he found out
“why didn’t you tell me you’re hanging out with my future wife?”
“because you say freak things like that”
whenever kiyoko did show up around him he was trying his best to act completely normal and not nervous at all
which consisted of him clenching his fists and sweating and repeating over and over in his head “be normal be normal be normal be normal”
and then kiyoko would be like “hey what’s wrong with your friend”
“he’s an idiot”
kiyoko did not think much of him at first except the occasional “that sweaty guy is staring at me”
she was sort of confused as to why he was always so nervous bc she didn’t really think he had anything to he nervous of
she did think it was sort of endearing though
not that she ever said it out loud
yn and kiyoko got closer and yachi got closer to them too and then even nishinoya started to get used to kiyoko and was more chill
not tanaka tho
nope
butterflies in his stomach every single time he sees her throat going dry head getting hot
she just always has that affect on him
and then when kiyoko started helping out with the band it actually sort of became an issues
because he would get so nervous around her that he literally forgot how to play the drums
the band was like “my dude you have got to get a grip”
then one day at before one for their earlier shows tanaka was showing signs of being crazy nervous and kiyoko said to him “don’t be nervous. you’re a great drummer”
and that just changed everything
because she thinks that of him?? she thinks he’s a great drummer???
he’s not about to disappoint
tanaka might’ve gone too hard that day he broke three drum sticks
but kiyoko told him he did a great job after
so it was worth it
tanaka would always go out of his way to try and impress her
drumming skills: “hey kiyoko watch me play this fugazi song…..okay wait no…wait let me start over i fucked up…..shit…”
strength: “hey kiyoko do you need help carrying that” “no” “are you sure it looks heavy” “this is just one of nishinoya’s pedals”
knowledge: “hey kiyoko did you know that you burn more calories drumming than you do weight lifting” “cool” “yeah”
and tanaka was way too in love to notice but kiyoko started smiling more that the things he would say
and would listen more intently
and start to ask him follow up questions
yn and yachi knew immediately when she started having a crush on him
they both thought it was very cute
and would lightly tease kiyoko abt it
but ultimately told her tanaka would be a great boyfriend and would be very sweet to her
like he already is
kiyoko knew she would have to be the one to confess because tanaka never would
he would just continue to be completely obvious about his feelings
but would never actually do anything about it
but still she was nervous
even though she was sure she wouldn’t be rejected
she chickened out the first three times she planned to confess
and on the fourth time
it actually turned out yachi and yn had had enough
and what do you do once you’ve had enough
why you lock your friends in a storage closet until they confess their feelings !
in a weird way, being in the small dark space made it a bit easier for her to admit her feelings
so she did
and then it took about ten minutes to convince tanaka that he was not dreaming
once he did bro was on cloud nine
for him the honeymoon phase has never ended
he’s so in love with her and every day he wakes up he feels lucky to be with her
and kiyoko loves him more and more every day
they’re gross together
so sweet to each other that it makes everyone else roll their eyes
tanaka got kiyoko a hoodie that says “i prefer the drummer” and she wears it to bed almost every night
they’re soulmates :)
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nekropsii · 9 months
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im thinking about the relationship between kankri and porrim because its just so fucking WEIRD like theyre obviously important to eachother or care about eachother to some extent but we dont really know why?? like they dont seem to get along very well
she patronizes him constantly (which is VERY loaded considering they lived on fucking beforus) and ignores his boundaries (calling him patronizing nicknames he doesnt like, wiping his face while he tried to push her off) and he constantly makes insensitive bitchy bigoted comments that go against all of her values and make her angry
and theres not the same dynamic dolorosa and signless had where she raised him like theyre the same age so why do they even talk to eachother?? what is their relationship?? like were they childhood friends or something?? itd make sense if they were both a little different as kids and therefore got along better but then why do they still talk to eachother when they really dont now ITS SO WEIRD
It's... Complicated. They go way back, as far as I can tell.
The way I see it, they do not have a "Mother and Son" relationship- I find that most who assert this often place far too much maturity onto Porrim, who is literally 19 years old. It's more like an Adoptive/Found Sibling relationship between someone with a severe case of Eldest Daughter Syndrome and the social conditioning of a higher-end Midblood on Beforus, and someone with a chronic case of Only Child and the social conditioning of a Mutant Lime on Beforus. The relationship makes more sense to me when you view it this way. It's just... A fraught sibling relationship, formed under societal pressures we can't even fathom. Porrim Maryam, trained by society to cull those beneath her, trying hard not to, and for the most succeeding outside of someone very close to her, and Kankri Vantas, culled and isolated his whole life, becoming a total suck-up to the deeply misogynistic, ableist, hemoloyal culling system as both a method of self defense and as a wielding of the only weapon he really knows. It was used against him all the time, and it works, doesn't it? If sucking up to Able-Bodied Male Highbloods and ridiculing everyone beneath that golden standard is the best way to ensure safety, then he's gonna do it. He's essentially a lifelong voter for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.
Ultimately, I think what keeps Porrim by his side is that... I think she believes in him. It's like watching yourself lose your sibling to the Alt-Right Pipeline. I think she thinks he doesn't actually believe most of what he's saying, and that this is all deeply reflexive. She's smart enough to recognize the real systemic issues at play here, and that he's essentially caught in chains between 5 different machines that all want him dead. And she's right. When you actually read the shit Kankri's saying, it becomes almost immediately apparent that he's spouting bullshit, and that he absolutely knows this. I think what keeps Kankri by her side is that he knows she cares about him. There isn't any denying it. She might infringe on boundaries, or be generally annoying to him, and keeps doing that frustrating little thing called seeing through his and everyone else's bullshit and calling them out on it- not just including but especially his- but she cares. I think he knows that at the end of all things what he'd have left is her. Is this to say that if you got Kankri to grow a spine and genuinely believe in things that aren't spoonfeedings of the latest Conservative Highblood Talking Point/Psy-Op, he'd be a good person? Hell no. No way. He has a raging savior complex and is way too eager to throw other people under the bus and insult/ridicule them to their faces. He's an asshole. Just completely slimy.
But, again, sibling relationships know no bounds. This kind of dynamic just feels so... Realistic to me. The way their relationship is so strained but still so strong and ongoing just feels so human. I don't know. This is pretty meandering, I just think about them a lot.
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triglycercule · 2 months
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ok so there's murder time trio where theyre best buddies and get along and sometimes even having more than just platonic interactions. and then there's also the murder time trio where they genuinely just don't like each other and avoid each other and do NOT get along and to me there's just a VERY clear timeline of events that could connect these two group dynamics. like these 2 could coexist,,,,,,
nightmare's fresh outta his little corruption sequence and he needs his henchmen. goes out and gathers the obvious three killer horror and dust (does it really matter how he got them??? kidnapping or not the trio will warm up to him). its his first time having to deal with mentally unstable grown up mortal men and he really has no idea how to manage the team so he lets them have some slack. spoils em a bit yk yk stops fights allows them to hang out allows em to screw around the castle even COMFORTS them,,,, shocking i know (a slightly nice nightmare interpretation from triglycercule? UNFATHOMABLE!!!!)
this killer's fresh outta something new so he's still kinda curious and nosy. he hasnt seen the multiverse and especially not interacted with nightmare/horrordust so he's kinda more outgoing and friendly (ish. to get to know better everyone and satisfy the curiosity of seeing what reactions and feelings these fellas could give him.) bc killer's not that much of a prick and horror and dust would naturally SLIGHTLY get along (and if in the right environment be good buddies. which is nm's lenience and killer's not shittiness) the mtt actually get along pretty well and are good buds!! like the first group dynamic i mentioned where the bad sanses are just kinda like a friend group except they have some weird work relations
and then a fight breaks out and nightmare kills either dust or horror (what about??? anything!) likely dust first because he's more likely to be wary of nm (if kidnapped) and also because he's just kinda more actively righteous compared to horror (who likely wouldn't do much against nm) or killer (does not give a shit.) dust dies, horror likely dies defending dust and that just leaves the og killer and nightmare
nightmare is like "oh shit i just killed my workers". he'll take like a week to ponder what he did and then completely move on (because hes an ass like that.) nightmare gets another horror and dust to replace the ones he killed. and killer is just like wtf how do i deal with this. the guys i were kinda friends were are dead but their copies are right here. like he knew copies existed in the utmv but he didn't think nightmare was so willing to replace them so fast???
this killer's still adapting to the multiverse and stuff (it probably hasn't even been a year since he got snatched up!!!) and yeah hes aware that copies exist and he could get replaced by one but he didn't think that it would LITERALLY HAPPEN RIGHT BEFORE HIS EYES. so he decides to stick more around nm and avoid getting replaced like the og dust and horror because it really just hammers in the point that he's kinda useless if he speaks out like those 2. hes avoidant of the new replacements as well bc hes still new to this experience and is getting used to the whole implications of two guys that were once him and he was friends with died and got replaced by basically the same person
but they still have to work together for obvious reasons. and even if killer's avoiding horror and dust they probably aren't avoiding each other and probably are like wary friends/acquaintances. and naturally killer HAS to become okay worker buddy pals with them because hes stuck living with them. nightmare's a lot stricter and cold to avoid something like dust's rebellion against him happening again. mtt are wary of each other (mostly towards killer. horrordust are pals and killer's kinda growing more apathetic to the duo because he's already experienced a lot of the stuff before with the og two that died.) but theyre still "friends" you could say
and then perchance maybe horror and dust decide to let killer in on a lil secret theyve been cooking up. theyre planning to escape (kidnapped DUH. and nm isn't as nice as he was to og horrordust to warrent them to wanna stay) and even though they don't really trust killer theyre still letting him in on the plan and offer for him to come with them because they lowkey feel bad for him and he's really not all that bad under all the bullshit
but killer saw what happened to the og dust and horror so he says no. and the night that the duo are planning to escape he just has this overwhelming sense of dread. the next morning he wakes up to nightmare standing over his bed with a cold glare telling him of horror and dust's attempted escape and death and killer just kinda. sighs. his dread was right (he was lowkey hoping that they could escape so they didn't die like the original 2)
and then the cycle repeats. previous dust or horror or both die to nightmare or some random outside force or escape (because it has to happen eventually right??) and the pair keep getting replaced. killer keeps witnessing their deaths and replacements and at this point he's just so used to it that he doesn't even TRY to interact with the new horrors and dusts. theyre not even like real people that are getting killed and replaced like robots to him anymore they're just distant coworkers that get fired and then a new one comes to take up the position
each new dust or horror is icked out by nightmare and killer. nightmare is incredibly cold and intimidating and dictatorial and just sucks in general. and killer gives them this distant look. like he knows something they dont. he's already proven to them that he knows that they should obey nightmare and how to deal with the king and they know he's been here longer than them but even when he's not with nightmare or not talking about him they get the blank stare
sometimes when a nicer replacement of horror decides to do something nice for killer like make him a meal he just gives him that look and declines (there's already been countless different horrors that tried doing nice stuff for him. it's not new and nice in his eyes anymore.) maybe when a dust replacement gets irked by killer's apathy and decides to try and say something that'll bother him or snoop through his personal stuff killer will just walk away or kick him out of his room with that creepy ass blank stare again (it's not the first time a dust has tried to rile him up. it's not new or interesting and just predictable)
killer just doesn't CARE about the new horrors and dusts. they're all pretty much the same two guy except maybe a bit nicer or meaner or quieter or even taller or something?? all he really cares about is is serving nightmares atp, no other outside relationships. and ngl he doesn't even care that much about nightmare either. he's already figured out his thinking he's already figured out all of his likes and dislikes and what not to do to piss him off. the only reason he's still dealing with him is because he doesn't have anything else better to do and he doesn't wanna be useless to the one guy that he's served all this time
he's just kinda stuck in an empty boring limbo that killer's only maintaining due to a lack of motivation and any other priorities. and personally i just think this bad sans dynamic is lowkey tragic because like killer keeps witnessing all these guys that he used to be friends or enemies or rivals or whatever with and they just keep dying or leaving him behind. not one ever stays for THAT long (because no wayyyy a dust or horror would take being under a cruel nightmare well) and it's given him this idea that none of these people matter (aside from the important one which is nm) because they're just gonna leave me and the connections ill have formed with them will be for nothing so why even try being vulnerable and friendly and interacting with these cheap copies of the guys i USED to be friends with
#nobody asked for this but i wanted to think of this#i don't know why i always have this idea that just because nobody asked for it doesn't mean nobody wants it. I WANTED TO WRITE THIS!!!!!#see this would work better if it were a fanfic and not a cheap tumblr post about this vague idea#i just wrote this because i really like the image of a blank eyed knowing looking killer#like he KNOWS something about dust and horror that they don't. and it bothers them severely#WHAT DOES HE KNOW??? their death or leaving is what#you ever think that killer has this crazy good sense of being able to predict the future#like he's just gotten so used to things that he just knows their next move#he would be crazy good at reading people and figuring out their behaviors#psycho analyze these guys until he could ACT like them. because what else does he have better to do when so bored and apathetic :3#this (may or may not be) is inspired by a song. i was imagining a dust and horror who kept trying to leave nm and failing miserably#and each time killer would tell their story of how they died or how the previous 2 died#he's like a little time capsule. he stores the experiences and memories of each copy of horror and dust to never tell anyone#because who else would be hell??? the MIRROR??? NIGHTMARE??? lmao no#would this make killer much older than the horrors and dusts that get replaced. maybe i think that would be cool#he lies about how old he is to the other two because if he didn't then they would act differently and not like how he predicts#and anything new and unexpected is kinda scary to killer#ok i think that's enough elaborating in tags. time to actually TAG#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#nightmare sans#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#what tricule tag category does this go in hmmmm hmmmm#this COULD be a hc and BOTH an analysis. but which one...............#i guess analysis because there's not really anything outrageously ooc in this one#tricule analyze
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crazylittlejester · 1 month
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A warriors…meets…cia again fic???
hold up lemme just—-
😎
😳🕶️🤏
he is only ten years old jes. Devastating. (*adds it to my future a03 bedtime stories to-read later*)
it was like a four word prompt sent in by an anon that’s grown into a huge multi chapter thing because I didn’t expect it to get as long as it has and now I’m realizing I have to break it up into chapters 😭 I’ve literally been working on it for like… five months, poor Mandarin Wars Anon has had to deal with my dumb ass getting too carried away with things and I’m so grateful for their patience 😭 It’s been scrapped and completely rewritten at MINIMUM like six times now, the plot has been COMPLETELY changed, it’s been a wild ride 😭 I’m sticking it in my ‘You’re A Part Of Me’ series which has been a bit fun because i get to drag little elements from past fics in that series into this one. small enough things that someone who hasn’t read the series won’t feel like theyre missing something but people who HAVE might recognize the reference
the plot has sort of turned into a murder mystery almost… im losing my mind, genuinely, i’ve put so much time into this fic
it’s also something i’ve been struggling with the rating on for months, because while I do not write explicit things (because that is my personal preference), the themes are a bit heavy, and because of that I decided I’ll be raising the rating to M. Which has also just allowed me to add in other things unrelated to the initial reason I was worrying over the rating and not worry about thinking “is this too violent-“. A while ago I considered writing two versions of the fic because I know a lot of people who’d been following me back when I got that prompt in the first place were really really excited about it, but that’s a lot of editing and I’m not sure how many people are still that into it 😭 So i’ll probably do a poll or make a post or SOMETHING to see if people would want a T rated version, if enough people do I’ll edit the fic
to be so so clear tho: the main reason this fic is going to be rated M is because of heavy themes, heavy discussions, and trauma related to a past event, i just wanted to play it safe. since deciding i was going to rate it higher, ive allowed myself to throw in more detailed descriptions of violence and nightmares and shit like that. and the main part of the fic that made me first think i should bump the rating up is going to have like *** in the text before and after it so people can just skip that if they want, cos if I’m gonna write a fic about trauma, then i’m gonna write a fic about trauma. and this is my free therapy so 🕺🕺🕺
anyways, i don’t wanna say it because i feel like then it’s just not gonna happen, but I’m hoping and PRAYING i can post the first chapter when Mandarin Wars Anon gets back 😭 fingers fuckin crossed. AND THE FIC ACTUALLY HAS A NAME NOW, WHICH IS FUCKING CRAZY AFTER FIVE MONTHS OF JUST CALLING IT “Mandarin Wars Anon’s Fic”
also i’ve been debating letting Time just go absolutely batshit towards the end of this fic because he kinda deserves it, as a little treat, yknow?
i really hope it lives up to the expectations🧍‍♂️ ive felt a lot of pressure while working on this cos so many people have gotten excited for it and im a BIT worried its just going to absolutely suck, so if i drop it and disappear off the face of the earth for a bit its because the anxiety ate me alive
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tell me all of your ace attorney headcanons
to make it easier, maybe for maya fey specifically! I feel like you probably have a lot of thoughts on her
HI sorry for ignoring this ask for 12 days im gonna do it now (very very long post like holy shit how did i even type this much)
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okay so for maya i have. a lot of hcs. basic stuff first she it trans (she/her), lesbian, poly, fat, and mixed black+japanese. actually there's a bit more to the fat headcanon cause i think she gains weight as she gets older, sort of as a "weight gain to represent healing" type of thing. i think around aa1 timeframe she's closer to her canon design but as she reaches more into adulthood she gains weight over time and is happier that way (part of this is because gaining weight is usually a good thing for transfems on estrogen)
okay anyways here's the part where i rant about trans maya stuff. actually i should probably talk about trans mia first cause theyre both trans in my hc and her transition actually plays an important part in maya's experience. basically mia was the first trans kurain spirit medium, before her it wasnt known that a trans woman could be a medium, but that all changed after mia realized she was a girl. for a while (months? years? not sure) mia thought that she would never be able to channel and just accepted the fact that she could be a woman but she wouldnt be able to channel, but eventually eh found that her realization of being a girl actually awakened significant spiritual power within her.
so anyways, onto maya, similar to mia she realized she was a girl when she was young, some time after misty left but while mia was still around. when mia came out, misty was very accepting in letting her transition, but with them under morgan's care they were both worried things wouldnt go as well. fortunately, mia would not let anything stop her sister from transitioning. i'm not completely sure if i think morgan would try to stop maya from transitioning or not (like yeah she's evil but idk if i see her as transphobic lol???) but if she did try to stop her mia would fight back no matter what.
anyways, maya transitions, but unfortunately things end up harder for her than mia, as maya isn't able to channel spirits. while she shows some signs of having spiritual powers, she's not anywhere close to as powerful as mia or any of the cis mediums in the family. this is deeply painful for maya and becomes a horrible source of dysphoria. how she sees it, if she can't channel spirits, she'll never really be a woman. in reality, this dysphoria is entirely false, plenty of cis women in the fey clan don't have spiritual powers (even morgan!). mia comforts her by telling her this, that she will always be a girl even if she can't channel spirits. this helps maya a lot, but it still isn't enough to fully rid her of her irrational dysphoria. it's all very hard for her, and i think morgan would definitely make everything worse for her, likely reminding her of her inability to channel for no reason other than to hurt her and make her feel inferior. but mia's positive influence helps her make it through everything, even if she does struggle a lot.
anyways, aa1 happens, and she's finally preformed her first channeling. but there's still a ton of doubt in her mind. despite now knowing she CAN channel, she's still struggling with this same dysphoria. probably thinking along the lines of. 'the only was i can channel is if i'm an urgent situation. If i was a real woman, i could channel at any moment, but i can't. I'm still just a man and nothing more." this all culminates with her inferiority complex in Turnabout Goodbyes. I actually really like reading into Maya's struggle in turnabout goodbyes as a representation of dysphoria, because the way she's hurt by not being able to channel mia is heartbreaking. hell, she literally says some genuinely suicidal things after the taser scene.
ultimately, I think maya finally begins to move past this dysphoria not because she learns to channel better, but because she finally, fully accepts mia's words to her, and i think Phoenix is really the person to finally help her out of it. sometime after turnabout goodbyes, maya opens up to phoenix about how hard this all is to her. tells him about how hard it is to feel like her womanhood is entirely dependent on a skill she struggles to grasp. phoenix would choose this as the time to finally come out to her that he too is trans, and would try his best to comfort maya, telling her how he's always seen her as a girl, how she should never doubt who she is just because she's not as skilled as her sister or mother. i think phoenix would feel some sense of guilt at this point, as he would feel like he played a part in maya's dysphoria since he was always hoping maya could channel mia again. with this, he would feel very motivated to help her through everything, both because of this guilt and just because he's now very committed to protecting maya. this of course wouldn't immediately fix everything for maya, but phoenix's continued support as they spend their days together would end up pushing her into learning to finally accept everything. over time, she's finally able to accept that no matter how strong or weak her spiritual abilities are, she'll always be a girl no matter what. of course, eventually she does become a very successful medium, but that takes much more time, and gradually freeing herself from her painful dysphoria helps her make it there.
okay wow i typed a lot what the fuck i was gonna write some stuff about other characters but this post is so long uhhhhhh apollo athena juniper trucy ema katherine sebastian adrian jinxie penny and a bunch of other ones i forgot to mention are trans women lol
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