#and it’s always oriented aroaces that we see mentioned

[clouded-void]

It always gives me whiplash when people describe oriented aroace as a “contradictory” identity. How is being an oriented aroace contradictory?

Most “contradictory” identities play with society’s expectations of X group which is honestly amazing. Aroace doesn’t mean “never feels attraction”. How is being oriented “contradicting” being aroace?

[onesidedradiostatic]

aromantic alastor headcanons for aro-week (with some ace in there as well, because I think for alastor those things are so entwined, it's hard to separate them):

tried going out with girls a couple of times when he was alive, to make his mother happy, but always found a way to extricate himself from the attachment. this ties into his learning how to have complete control over any situation he's in

I wonder as well about whether or not he "passed" as white, or whether his community knew that he was creole, and how that affected his dating opportunities, and his paranoia, his need to be in control, basically his constant hyper-vigilance

got a lot of fanmail for his radio host work, women (and men, but more furtively) loooved his voice. this was acceptable, because (apart from some of the weirder ones) he could use this as a metric for how accepted he was in society, as well as how well he was passing -- both in terms of race and orientation, but also youknow, as someone who is definitely not clockable as a serial killer

although of course we know he also enjoyed company. he'd go out drinking and dancing a lot. was mimzy a bit in love with him? I just like the idea that people kept being incredibly taken with his charm and his politeness and his poise, because he does have all those traits. whether he notices...? (no). I mention this point not so much as headcanon, I just like that alastor as aroace and repulsed on both of those points, was never a shut-in about it. he's always been very lively (ha) and outgoing, and clearly likes being in the company of others... but maybe that last point has gotten to be a little difficult during his time in hell, due to having to be so careful about showing any kind of emotional "weakness." speaking of...

post-death became a more extreme version of himself -- that is, a man on a mission to be in control and create emotional distance between himself and others through the power of voice, rather than having to faff about pretending emotional connections where there were none. very suited for hell because of his precarious political lived reality whilst alive, and because hell is built on who has power and who doesn't. these are rituals he understands better than the strange romantic ones during life

the smile as mask and unhealthy coping mechanism -- wonder if when he was alive people swooned over his having a lovely smile (as well as its being useful to placate and to disorient people who had more violent intentions, and in both cases potentially to lure in victims). so the smile likewise became the most extreme version of itself. the smile in essence as the signifier of someone who doesn't fit into any boxes and needs to hide that fact, both by being mixed race and aroace, but then the smile itself becomes something that effectively owns him, because he literally cannot let it drop, ever (honestly if alastor ever stops smiling, it'll be the biggest gasp moment on this show)

all that being said, surprising connections do occur: rosie, I think, sees through him from the beginning, and she's so disarming (ha, disarming... cannibal joke) that she never feels like a threat + they're both cannibals, so there's a relaxed kinship there and maybe she reminds him of the parts of home he (secretly) misses a bit

I wonder how rosie figured out that alastor wasn't into dating. I think at first she might have thought he was gay, but then quite quickly seen that that's not it, he doesn't even like men much, and she feels like she's been around the block enough to piece together peoples' natures from one of a million other people she's known, so way before she knows the terminology, she knows, and crucially, she never judges or tries to force the point

I wonder how vox and alastor met -- whether vox was able to gain power on his own and this attracted alastor's attention, or if alastor saw something of himself (that turned out to be surface level) in vox, that is, they both wear smiles as masks, they're both presenters, their mediums may be different, but their aims feel similar. perhaps alastor was comfortable enough in hell at this point -- probably in a way he never was whilst alive -- that he was feeling magnanimous towards what must have felt a bit like an upstart. and most importantly, the constraints of alloromantic ideas are a comfortable 20 years in the past by now, alastor can barely remember that this was ever anything that was expected of him, or that others' could possibly feel about him

cue vox falling head over heels, the way people so often did while he was alive, and he... does not notice at all (barely a headcanon). I kind of feel like I don't have much to say on these two, because this blog is already a treasure trove of vox and alastor hcs!

I think rosie is the only one who knows alastor is aroace, although... maybe husk? not in so many words, but he knows alastor isn't interested in those things. nifty Does Not Notice Nor Care (in a good way). charlie i will forever think will at some point do a deep-dive on modern queer lingo and get everyone flags (this is practically word of god canon considering that older piece of art you shared). vox definitely doesn't know. val....... sort of kinda knows but in an evil way. vaggie does not care, but she'd be chill about it. mimzy... I don't think knows, mainly because she never cared to think about his behaviours, as someone who's quite self-centered on what alastor is to her. jeez, who am i missing... angel, does not know, head empty

speaking of angel, I think if he ever found out, especially with where he's at in his journey rn, would be very unhappy in some way about having stepped over his boundaries so often so casually at the beginning. dunno how he'd act about it, but i like the idea of vigilantly (and crudely, and bluntly) supportive angel if they ever manage to get alastor out on the town. more on the ace side of things but i can see him going: "do not try to fuck this guy! this guy is unfuckable!"

(i like hypersexual and deeply romantic angel + sex and romance repulsed alastor as unlikely friendship in my head. opposites finding common ground type stuff is always good)

at the end of the day, alastor living and dying in an amatonormative world and having to orient himself within that by building walls that persist/worsen after his death because of the culture of hell being predicated on who controls whom, veeeeery slowly discovering that he can be vulnerable on his own terms without people demanding things from him that he cannot give (smthinsmthin the hotel gang as the opposite of vox in that sense -- not only that sense, but also that)

also something about imagining his mother hoping he'd find a nice girl and settle down (in the way parents often do, because that's the metric of happiness right.....) and how he never could give her what she wanted, and maybe feels some very locked away guilt about that, which he thinks he'll never be able to deal with because his mother is in heaven, but perhaps in this story she'll get to see what he's built with the people at the hotel and that's really all she wanted for him in the end

OH MY GOD ANON THIS IS ALL SO GOOD?? THANK YOU SO MUCH HAHAHA. happy aro week everyone!! (x2)

[arany-studio]

Are Kanej asexuals?

While we celebrate LGBTQIA+ Pride in the Grishaverse, let's discuss a matter that is not always well understood, but often spoken about in the fandom - are Kanej asexuals?

Trigger warning for talk of sexuality, trauma, PTSD and past sexual abuse.

According to asexuals.fandom.com, the asexuality spectrum is an umbrella term that applies to people who feel little to no sexual attraction and includes such micro labels as asexual, aroace, graysexual, demisexual, aegosexual, apothisexual, fraysexual, aceflux, cupiosexual, orchidsexual or caedosexual. A-spec is a term that can include all of the above.

A little known fact about asexuality is that it is different from libido (or sexual desire). Asexuality is a sexual orientation that relates to attraction, but asexuals can have either high or low libido, which is not directed at anyone in particular. Also, asexuals can have sex for many reasons that are not related to sexual attraction, such as to please their partners, to relax or for pleasure and they are no less asexuals, but it's also important to mention that the majority of people that identify as a-spec do not include sex in their lives.

Asexuality is a spectrum and the opposite of allosexuality, which refers to people who often experience sexual attraction.

An often unknown label under the asexual umbrella is caedosexual.  This includes people who once identified as allosexual, but later on identified on the asexual spectrum because of trauma. It was feared that inclusion of this flag under asexuality would further feed the prejudice that all asexuals are like this because of  trauma, but this has been disproven. Only caedosexuals are so because of trauma, not the other a-specs.

Now let's see what we know about Kanej. Both Kaz and Inej have gone through horrific experiences in their childhood and puberty respectively, and their resulting traumas are affecting how they engage with their sexualities in their teen years. Their desire to heal fluctuates. Sometimes Kaz thinks that Inej could never be truly his and Inej thinks that they might be better off with their armors intact and at other times Inej appreciates that they have tried to be close and wishes they could try again and Kaz fights his demons in order to hold her hand. Fact is, the caedosexuals I have spoken to have said that Kaz and Inej can choose to work towards separating their traumas from their sexualities in the future, or they can choose not to and they are valid either way. So what could be safely said is that Kanej are likely caedosexuals in SoC + CK timeline, although that could change in the future.

But the discussion of whether Kaz and Inej fall under the asexual spectrum is more complex than that and in the fandom you can often find fans arguing either that they provide much needed representation to asexuals or on the contrary, that they are very eager to heal and have an intimate relationship. But let's not forget that libido is different from attraction and there are many asexuals with high libido, so the question here is what type of attraction do Kaz and Inej experience?

The media that we consume is largely amatonormative, meaning that it assumes that all humans pursue love of a romantic and sexual nature, but a less known fact is that attraction can take many more forms than we were led to believe by such media. Attraction is sexual when a person wants to have sex with another, romantic when they desire to engage in romantic activities, aesthetic when they think someone is beautiful, sensual when they desire non-sexual physical closeness (such as nonromantic cuddles and kisses), platonic when they want to be friends with someone or queerplatonic (alterous) when someone desires a committed relationship with a partner that is in between platonic and romantic in nature. Other types of attraction are familial, emotional, intellectual or spiritual. 

For example, it is quite clear that Inej doesn't feel spiritual attraction towards Kaz's lack of faith in saints, but she does feel intellectual attraction towards his brilliant mind. And though Kaz might cover his feelings under "economic" attraction (joking), the question here is under what type of attraction do Kaz's and Inej's feelings for each other fall under. Fact is, if allosexuals view Kaz and Inej through their lense they can easily think that they feel sexual and romantic attraction for each other, but if asexuals view them from their lense instead, what Kanej feel might very well be queerplatonic, sensual or aesthetic attraction that for one or both of them isn't sexual or romantic in nature. For example some people view Kaz's interest in Imogen as a challenge and his desire to have an intimate connection with Inej as wanting to please her and they argue that Kaz has been "content" on his own for so long, plotting his revenge and Barrel dominion, that he might well be asexual or demisexual. Many other people view Inej's famous line "I'll have you without armor" to be related to trust solely, whereas others view it as being both about intimacy and trust. And let's not forget the many voices that appreciate Kanej for showing how people can love each other deeply even when they don't have sex. The truth is that we don't know for sure where Kanej fall on the spectrum of attraction, the text is beautifully vague in that regard, but the many varied interpretations about Kanej show that what meets the eye is not always a person's inner experience.

To sum up, the one thing that is almost certain about Kaz and Inej is that in book time, their traumas influence their experience of sexuality, likely setting them under the a-spec umbrella as caedosexuals. This may or may not change in the future, depending on their desire and capacity to heal, but Kanej are valid either way. As regards to how Kanej might identify were they to heal from their traumas, many interpretations about the way they feel attraction or lack of it are possible, setting them as either allosexual, demisexual or asexual. The beauty of book Kanej is that they are written in such a subtle way that they provide representation to a wide range of people and that's why we love them so much!

[drowninginredink]

Any aro/aro-spec hcs for asoue? :)

Yes! Absolutely! Let's go in order from most to least canon!

Lemony Snicket is the most demiromantic and demisexual character to have ever existed and I don't need to say anything else about that.

Montgomery Montgomery literally said "I always meant to find a wife and start a family, but it just keep slipping my mind." That is the single most aro thing I have ever heard.

Similarly, I do not remember what the exact quote is for this one, but Justice Strauss has never married because her one true love is the law. I hate Justice Strauss but that is pretty solid proof that she's aro.

Bertrand Baudelaire. I love aro Bertrand so much. I've got a post about a particular way aroace Bertrand could play out, but like, even if we aren't going with that version of events, I still love aro Bertrand. Aroallo, aroace, just aro, whatever. I love the idea that he was Beatrice's aro best friend that she ended up marrying when romance proved to be too risky in their field.

I really love the idea of Kit as aro (allo) and Dewey was the one relationship she was really able to feel comfortable in. I mean she's probably more aro-spec than aro, but I don't feel like she's a microlabel person. Her and Dewey's relationship is officially romantic, but there's something of a QPR-esque understanding between them. Also they are the most bi4bi couple I have ever seen. Kit is polyamorous and Dewey is monogamous but is totally fine with her having relationships outside of theirs. Look, I know no one ever likes the canon ships in anything, but I really love Kit and Dewey and have spent a lot of time thinking about them and have written almost 4k words of a Kit/Dewey fic I'll probably never finish but do really like.

I have no actual reason that Fernald is aroallo except that I say so and one day I want to write a fic about him and Kit in a situationship. But. He is. He is alloaro and that's the truth.

As for the Baudelaires, I don't have any solid orientation headcanons for them. The answer is usually "I don't care" unless I'm writing a fic where being queer makes them more interesting (shout-out to that lesbian Violet fic I wrote that's on FFN and one day I'll completely overhaul and put on AO3). That said, I do absolutely see Violet and Klaus as not getting into romantic relationships at the very least until after Beatrice and Sunny are adults, because they'd rather stay together as their own family unit, if they ever get into them at all. I see Violet and Klaus staying together even after Sunny and Bea move out and have their own lives. I think they would just rather have each other around than anyone else. Does that make them aro? Not necessarily. Plenty of alloromantic people never get married/have long-term partners, and plenty of aromantics do. But I still think it bears mentioning here. (Sorry to everyone who thinks they'll join back up and get together with the Quagmire they prefer to ship them with, but uh... yeah no, I don't think they see the Quagmires ever again)

[the-asexuality-blog]

Aaaaaaaaaaaa i forgot to put in my submission for Ace Day! It's still the 26th tho so it counts!

I have an ace ring!!!! This ring means a lot to me. It was really the beginnings of figuring out that hey! There are other aspec people out there!

I learned about ace rings through reading a fanfic where the MC was biace and off handedly mentioned it. One google search later and I wanted one.

A while after I got my ring I saw a post on Tumblr talking about the hell that was rampant aphobia around 2014. A couple days after that I found this blog. And after that I've been slowly adding aroace blogs to my following list.

I don't get the sense of sadness I see a lot in aspec spaces. Not to say there isn't reason for this sadness, an allonormative society, our history, lack of knowledge of our existence but!!

And this is an important but.

We have the power to simply say fuck you and make our own communities, our own history. We get the chance to make each other the art and stories we always wanted to see.

If I had to pick to be any orientation, I would pick being aroace a million times over. I love being aroace as weird as it may sound. There isn't anything I'm missing out on and I do not need to be allo in any capacity to have fulfilling and/or close relationships. To all the ace and aro and apl people out there who may be reading this, Happy Ace Day!

[siesporamor]

Okay, what are your queer headcanons for the Violetta characters? <3

*slams fist* I LOVE YOU!

Buckle up, because this is going to be long.

Violetta - bi. It's there in the way she looks fondly at pictures of her and León and her and Francesca at the same time, you can't make this up.

León - bi. Entre Dos Mundos is a meh song but we forgive it because it confirmed bi León is canon /j Also, have you seen him looking at Diego?

Francesca - bi, with a preference for men. I specifically imagine her figuring it out later in life than other characters (s3) because she tends to fall more for boys than girls, so she had a tendency to brush off her girl crushes.

Camila - lesbian-oriented aroace. As I've talked about with @ichiro51 here, her book of boys thing screams aspec to me, but I also see her as having a thing for girls.

Ludmila - lesbian. For a while I headcanoned her as bi because I like her relationship with Fede, but I feel more of a platonic vibe, while there's definitely some romantic stuff going on with Naty and Cami other girls.

Naty - lesbian or bisexual, I still haven't made up my mind. She is Ludmi's girlfriend, though.

Maxi - trans and pansexual. Purely off of vibes.

Andrés - bi, even though a part of me says gay.

Diego - bi, with a preference for men. I feel it in my heart that he likes girls, but he's always had more crushes for men.

Federico - my first instinct is to say straight, but there's something in him that makes me hesitate. My funky fellow countryman is a mystery.

Marco - bi. He wants to hold hands with both Fran and Diego.

Lara - queer in a way I can't pinpoint. Some kind of sapphic and/or aspec.

I don't have many opinions on the adults, other than:

Angie - bi. I headcanon that, around the early episodes of s1, she causally mentions a past girlfriend or something, and Vilu, who's always known she likes girls but never felt comfortable talking about it with the adult figures in her life, nor has ever met someone like her, feels safe to come out for the first time. They bond over it and Angie gives her lots of aunt advice.

Jade - bi. What can I say? She feels fruity.

Gregorio - aroace or gay, though I lean more toward the first option.

I think I've covered everyone. Broduey is, of course, the token straight, while Tomás, Gery and Clement are straight (derogatory).

Thanks for asking!

[reinekes-fox]

Non wip questions. Hope that's okay??

Pardon me if I'm being too intrusive, I simply like getting to know my favorite writers. Feel free to skip anything you aren't comfortable with.

1. Which of your projects are your favorite to write?

2. Which character are you most biased towards and why?

3. What are your preferred pronouns?

4. Where would you love to see your projects going?

5. You deal with alot of not just gender identity topics but sexual oriented ones aswell in your works. As a member of the community I appreciate the representation aswell as the very realistic panic that accompanies it. Is that an important topic for you to explore when doing world building?

6. What Is your favorite thing to do when you aren't writing?

7. Lastly you mentioned Chase and baking. If he had to attempt at baking your favorite food/dessert what would it be that he would ultimately fuck up?

Thank you for answering in advance 😇

What is something you do for inspiration and what keeps you going?

Sure, thats okay! Don't worry about being intrusive, I will just skip should I not feel comfortable with sth!

It depends on the mood I am in: but atm Birds of a Rose, Hawks and Doves and Dog Nights. I just love urban fantasy and dystopia. Afterwards the rest of my projects, they need more world building, which is making me avoid them a bit.

I am most biased when writing Elrond atm! Because there are a lot of things that connect me with this character.

He/him!

I would love to seem them finished soon, which will probably not happen lol. But I would be proud knowing my writings will help and comfort people (even with the very dark topics than can take place), and be well known for high replayability and good writing. I just want to deliver some good games tbh.

What is very important to me, as an aroace trans person, is making unique dialouge, and making MC learn about it and what it means, instead of just making it just "Oh, you choose aro/ace? No romance for you". I want it to matter. And adress some form of harrasment we often face. So far I have unique dialouge for aro/ace routes if you reject Droznik and if you get together with E. Falkenflug at the party.

I love to read! Learn new things about history.

My favourite baked cookies are rather easy tbh: White Chocolate Macadamie nut cookies! However he would probably fuck up simply because he totally forget to change the metric from EU to US lol

What I do for inspiration: reading books to get me into the right mindset (I have a ton of books about state youth organisations which always gets me into mood for Hawks and Doves for example).

What keeps me going: as cheesy as it sounds, messages like this. Messages that show me that I am not just throwing my stories into a void, that people pick up on the small stuff and changes. That my stories have an audience.

[shy-forceghost]

omg, re: aroace jillian, yesss, i am like: (see below meme) w you over the hc, it’s galaxytier, always one of my favs

do you have any other aspec hcs for other wn characters? personally i like to hc camila & mother superion, and a good chunk of the ocs as ace and/or aro without realizing it, they just think god’s being super helpful and helping them avoid ‘temptation’ lmao

i also love aspec lilith hcs and alternate between aro sapphic jillian and aroace jillian, and alternate between aro bi lilith, ace bi lilith, aroace, or aroace bi lilith depending on the mood

and then i love ace, gray or demi ace beatrice & aro, demi aro or gray aro ava hcs

also love hcing em as qprs

Hahaha loved the meme. WN really uniting people out there right?

Also thank you for this question and sorry in advance because you just opened my bottomless trunk of rants :D

god’s being super helpful and helping them avoid ‘temptation’ it's the ultimate catholic aroace girl experience (been there haha)

I also hc Camila as aspec, the scene when she says "how hot" Todd is just serves me to reassure the fact that nuns aren't blind haha, they can experience attraction (independently of gender, see my other hcs) but at the end they've taken the decision of remain celibate -or not- and that comes from their personal values/principles, regardless of attraction of any kind. * I think Camila doesn't overthink in terms of attraction because it isn't something that common for her, therefore not "that hard" for her to ignore it.

Mother Superion is one of those characters I don't feel we have enough info in order to hc her orientation, and I don't feel comfortable doing so when that happens. Honestly I see her as straight haha, one of the clearest examples of women who actually experience attraction but their love, faith, and desire for service were stronger. That happens and it's ok. Same case with Yasmine.

I'm more inclined by aroace Jillian (she never mentions romance or sexual attraction in any way), but I can see why some hc her as sapphic. In KTY's words "whatever goats your boat :D"

Yes for aspec sapphic Lilith as in "she might or might not be attracted to girls but doesn't mind, because she's just focused in other things".

And yeees! demi Bea for the win <3 There's actually an amazing fic that explores asexual Beatrice and how that happens alongside her being a lesbian (i.e. how both identities can go by hand and how religious trauma doesn't "cause" asexuality). I can't remember the name but it must be somewhere in my blog under the ace beatrice tag

I'm not entirely sure if I'll hc Ava as acespec or arospec. She actually seems -to me- like that one character of the complete opposite of the spectrum haha, either pan or bi.

*the conversation of attraction and religious women its is actually something I find deeply interesting. Having grown in a religious environment (read: being close with nuns haha) I can assure you that there's as much variety of orientations as in any other community. More than once a nun had told me that "they can find someone attractive, they just don't act about it ;)". Many had relationships before joining the church, one thing doesn't change the other.

I think that the idea that, historically, many many nuns have been queer (mostly sapphic and aspec) comes from the fact that from a very long time, religious life was the only "acceptable" role a woman couldn't take that didn't require her to marry a man. It was also a way to guarantee themselves certain grade of freedom and education, but that's a conversation for another time because this has already gotten too long and I'm digressing from your original question.

[spacedykez]

more midnight ramblings about attraction. feel free to ignore /gen (typing things out just helps me process my thoughts and gives me a reference 4 later. and maybe people wanna offer advice, i dunno)

lately i've been wondering if i want to call myself a lesbian aroace. or a gay aroace. or an oriented aroace. but attraction is so confusing. i know i don't experience romantic/sexual attraction. that's definitely out of the question.

i do experience aesthetic attraction. not often but i do, and to all genders. like. if we wanna get technical i think panaesthetic would be the term. but i don't really care about labeling that so we're leaving it be

i've gotten squishes on like two people, ever? but friendship isn't really about attraction to me. it's more like, i start talking to someone and if/once i've gotten to know someone well enough to call them a friend i kinda just find myself thinking 'i love them /p' (i want to spend time around them, i want to hang out with them, i want to be friends with them. Etc). again, never really felt any desire to label that.

but then there's queerplatonic attraction. and that's the thing that i think is making me question myself. cause. i want a partner(s), actually, i think. and i want to go beyond what society considers normal for friends. and when i think about it i always see myself with a girl?

like. is this because of the expectations that have been forced upon me my entire life? am i just trying to distance myself from them? but in all my thoughts about the future i don't see myself ending up with a guy. yeah a lot of my friends are guys and yeah i love em /p but i don't really ever see myself in a relationship with them other than friendship. i think? that if one of them were to Want a queerplatonic relationship of Some Kind i would be open to the idea? but i'm not really attracted to them in that way.

[i should mention that i have a qpp and she's the only person i've ever felt queerplatonic attraction For Specifically. i've felt a longing for a queerplatonic relationship but not with anyone specific, until i met xem]

so tldr. i think that i want queerplatonic relationships but only with girls but if one of my guy friends wanted to initiate a queerplatonic relationship with me i think i'd probably go along with it and be cool with it?

(and also i like the idea of calling myself a lesbian aroace but i'm not sure if i'm Just lesbian-oriented because i'm not opposed to the idea of a relationship with guys (and my relationship with other nonbinary people is complicated i'm not even touching that rabbit hole today))

[not-a-robin]

Into/Explanation/Boundaries post!

Character info:

So for starters this is the side blog/counterpart to my oc Alexandra Catherine Todd-Wayne (or just Alex), (@notquiterobin) and their vigilante person/alias Corvid

She’s a Non-Batman-Approved Vigilante that generally hangs around the East End and Alleytown in Gotham

She aspired to be Robin when she was younger, but after her brother Jason’s death became a bit resistant to the moniker, She is now a non-Batman-approved vigilante named Corvid (as a lot of corvids are preditors of robins, plus it’s the name I usually use online/lh)

She generally has similar goals to the robins (improving Gotham, keeping down crime, and generally keeping people safe, especially in poorer areas of Gotham)

Generally keeps the non-killing rule as Corvid but is a more willing and ready to use force then the rest of the bats

She hasn’t told the rest of the batfamily or anyone else about what she does as Corvid, namely because of the restrictions that would add, along with the added worry (I think at some point it would be a fun plot to have at least one of them find out though)

Now for the more fun stuff, character apperance and vigilante outfit (a ton of this is inspired by clothes that I like at wear):

A lot of her gear and outfits are unknowingly funded by Bruce, he just has so much money that if you occasionally take a bit, he won’t notice it

She wears a black mask to cover her lower face and keep it hidden, under the mask the distinctive scar on her left cheek is sometimes left visible though

Keeps up the bat legacy of eyeliner, has a few piercings (namely both lower lobe piercings, a nose piercing, a bridge, and a helix, again everything but the bridge is based on my piercings, I would get a bridge if I had the anatomy for it but sadly I don’t.)

Giving each of my blogs characters a song so Corvids is:

Cw: for that song though there are mentions of and it is about rape so just keep that in mind if you decide to listen to it

Ok actual outfit time:

-again the black mask covering her lower face,

-black boots with a slight heel and laces (there’s a zipper on the side though to make them easier to take on and off) < me projecting my impaired fine motor skills,

-black pants similar to cargos (so pockets on the sides of each leg, along with back and front pockets),

-a black sleeveless turtleneck,

-one of those sweater less sleeve things? They’re hard to describe but it’s in the picrew I used to make my pfp (baby carrot art on picrew) that only cover shoulders and arms, I think it would be made of something other then cotton though, some kind of more durable fabric,

-black fingerless gloves

-Always wears her hair up, particularly in one braid or in two small buns, keeps her bangs out of the way with various hair clips

-a silver locket tucked under her shirt, it’s one given to her by Bruce at a young age with a family photo inside, she just couldn’t bring herself to take it off

Some more general apperance/characterization:

16 | 5,1 | blue eyes | long and curly black hair | human | Demigirl | ace lesbian | she’s got a few scars but namely the one on her left cheek mostly hidden by the mask

Boundaries section:

Dni’s:

- Homophobes

- Racists

- Transphobes

- Ableist’s (I’m disabled, we know when you’re being ablest.)

- Zionists

- General conservatives

- BATCEST. (I do not care how you try to rationalize it, I don’t want to see any Dick/Jason, Bruce/any of his children, Alfred/any of his grandkids. Any Dick/Tim, Jason/Tim, or Damian/Tim. Just no batcest okay?

- I’m dyslexic, if you find spelling mistakes please just ignore them unless they completely change the meaning of the scentence, autocorrect can’t catch everything

About me:

I got by primarily They/Them pronouns, I’m an aroace (maybe oriented? Let’s just say questioning/lh) Non-Binary teenager,

and I am a minor so please keep that in mind (I’m fine with any ages on here just keep it in mind that I’m under 18),

I’m disabled (not gonna put out my whole medical history but shortly put: chronic pain, t1d, autism & adhd, c!ptsd, dyslexia)

I’m a pretty longtime DC lover (on and off since I was 5), mostly Batman and Batman adjacent stuff, hellblazer, green arrow, young justice, and teen titans

Al Ghul lover, seriously I love them sm

Very into music (specifically Hole, Nirvana, Babes in Toyland, Big theif, Fiona apple, Mcr, Bauhaus, Siouxsie and the Bandhees, The cure, Ghost, Green Day, Alex G, and Elliott Smith)

^ also if you think Courtney killed Kurt fuck off, seriously I’m not going to argue with you, either don’t bring it up or just go away

I also didn’t mention this on my other blog but I am colorblind, it probably won’t come up it just makes it hard for me to read some blogs (hence why my stuff is grey and not black, if I could read purple on black I’d do it)

Closing stuff:

Absolutely feel free to interact with this weather in character or not, I’d love any questions or asks it just may sometimes take me a second to get used to them

[blue-box-man-10]

Asexuality, Aromanticism and Fictionkinnity

Oh boy, here we go. I have yet to see anyone in the community talk about this and the best advice I have seen since being around the fictionkin community is "if no one is talking about your experiences, now is the opportunity for you to talk about them." (Also, as a preface for this, when referring to my canons, I will be using past tense as they are things that have happened to me. However, I do not label my fictionkinnity. I have a hard time distinguishing my experiences and I don't know whether these are past lives or not. All I know is that past tense feels right so that's what I'm gonna use.) Alright, here we go.

For those of you who don't know, I am The 10th Doctor from Doctor Who and Orym of the Air Ashari from Critical Role. If you know these characters, you would know that they undoubtedly experience romantic attraction. Their sexual orientation is arguable, but I'll get into that later. But, as I am know, I experience neither sexual nor romantic attraction. Except...

Okay, so, it's a bit more complicated than "I used to experience this but I don't anymore". I'm going to go over my experiences of both my kintypes separately. (And, as a note, my memory is incredibly fuzzy and most of this is based on my instincts and noemata) We'll start with Orym because... That's easier lol.

As Orym, I am a widower. My husband was killed by assasins who were trying to get to the leader of my people, whom my husband and I were guards of. I was a gay cis man, and I'm like 85% sure I was also ace-spec, but I haven't confirmed it, it's just a hunch. I loved my husband very much, and I still do. But it's in a different way than it was. I'm unsure if I still experience romantic attraction towards him (since I don't know what that feels like) I just feel... Different. It's really hard to describe. It's like "I still love you with all my heart, but now it is coming from a different place"? I guess the best way to describe it is "romantic adjacent", like it's romantic but also not quite. I think I feel this same way about both Dorian and also Ashton, but I'm still figuring that out so I won't talk more on that, sorry lol.

My experiences with my Doctor kintype is basically the same, but also more complicated because I just fell in love more. But it's the same feelings of "romance adjacent". However, sometimes it was, obviously, stronger than others. For example, the attraction towards Rose was (and still is) stronger than, say, Madame De Pompadour, however I still felt romantic attraction towards her, Rose and I's relationship was simply longer and more developed. And, of course, I was asexual. I think that's pretty obvious. Unless it isn't, and if that's the case, all the power to ya. (Huh, I guess this explanation was shorter... Whatever)

So! What does this all mean for me now? Well, good reader, it means that I am still aroace. Mostly. But the thing is, I haven't had any real, proper conversations with any of those people I mentioned (nor those I didnt), so I simply do not know what would happen.

I suspect that if I were to properly talk to them and indeed felt some sort of attraction, it would be similar to queerplatonic attraction, in that it is platonic but also more than that. Or, I could experience romantic attraction, who knows?! Not me. I've never experienced romantic attraction in this life, so I really don't know what it feels like, not what to expect.

This turned into mostly a rant, perhaps I could have planned out my thoughts better, but I just wanted to get out what I was thinking, to document it (or something). But in conclusion, identity is tricky and not always black and white and fictionkin don't always identify the same way as their kintypes. I hope someone who relates will see this, maybe even share their experiences. And if you are fictionkin and knew me (or a version of me) in your canon, asks and dms are always open for sharing, conversing. Okay, bye.

[saiki-sideblog]

Shipping saiki with anyone is aro/ace phobic it is clearly implied he doesn't feel any attraction to anyone the closest thing we got was when he became obsessed with someone not even romantic

Uuuuuh??? Ok???? I'm not sure if you're trying to call me out for something or if this is just supposed to be a general PSA that you're coming to my blog to get out there, but I'm gonna try to dissect this from every angle I can think of.

First of all, if you're trying to accuse me, I myself am incredibly aro ace and am fucking so grateful for the representation. That's so hard to find and is part of the reason I was drawn to the show.

I know I've reblogged a few posts regarding the Saiki and Satou ship in the past, but I don't actually ship it myself. If I'm reblogging content regarding the ship it really has more to do with the dynamics surrounding it that I think are fun concepts. Usually related to how his powers affect his ability to form relationships in one way or another. Honestly I'd like to see all these concepts in the light of a QPR or something could be cool and more accurate representation. It's not like ace aro people can't love at all. They just aren't attracted to people's physical appearances

I think it's incredibly important to acknowledge that he's aroace, but the thing is... most people aren't aroace and those people are going to have a tendency to instinctively pair characters off in their heads without thinking about it. Especially when one of those characters is explicitly shown to be obsessed (your own words) with another character. If someone wants to explore those dynamics that's fine with me, as long as they aren't actually actively rooting for these ships to occur in canon. Shipping something doesn't necessarily mean you want the relationship between characters to happen in the actual franchise. The whole concept of shipping is kind of complicated tbh. But as long as someone is making content about how Saiki is aro ace in canon while also creating side concepts regarding the possibility of possibly dynamics, I don't see a big problem with it

The next point I have is something I'm kind of conflicted on myself. That's the point of cupioromanticism and romance neutral aromantics. I myself love to refer to myself as "very aro" but I was calling myself that even as I was in a relationship. It's possible to be aromantic and in a romantic relationship. The conflicting part is that a lot of people use that as an excuse to ship aro characters and completely disregard their orientation. But it's a whole lot more complicated than that. I consider myself mostly romance neutral (which is the aromantic equivalent of being a sex neutral asexual, which is probably more commonly known and understood) but I still had very strict boundaries about it when I was in my relationships, and I didn't always have the energy to keep up with my partners. My most notable relationship was an open relationship so my partner could fill in the blanks, because I have a fairly low romantic threshold if we did something particularly romantically investive I would need to straight up take a break from the relationship altogether. Just a few days to recuperate and reenergize.

Basically my last point (that last paragraph) comes down to "You can totally be in a romantic relationship and be aro, but a lot of people use that knowledge to ignore a canon minority and essentially demonstrate erasure."

Not to bring in a completely separate media franchise into this, but Bojack Horseman did a really good job at explaining some of this stuff in regards to their asexual character. They dive into how asexual people can be in romantic relationships, but not all asexuals want to. Some are also aro. And while it is in passing, they mention that some asexuals do have and enjoy sex. This doesn't explore all these concepts and ways people experience these things in depth, but it does open up every angle, leaving all of the other ways people can experience these things on the table and easily able to be figured out by an audience of people new to these concepts if they just think about it for a minute. But they keep it well defined where the character stands and how his asexuality affects his relationships and how it complicates things.

All of that is to say, shipping culture is super weird, but as long as someone is very vocal and supportive of the fact Saiki is in fact aro ace, I would allow the allos a little bit of shipping content. As a treat. Just don't ignore his practically confirmed identity just to get all mushy on a character who would hate that.

But honestly, I don't see much of a need to ship Saiki with much of anyone when Shun and Aren are right there.

[bluejayblueskies]

don't say you love me

written for aromantic awareness week! ft. pre-canon jon & georgie and aroace jon. content warning for internalized arophobia, amatonormativity, kissing someone without asking first (not in an intentionally disrespectful way), brief mentions of sex, and fear of rejection due to one's sexuality/romantic orientation.

the ao3 link is in the source!

.

Romantic love is … frustrating.

That’s the best way that Jon has been able to put into words his relationship with a concept that is at best confusing and at worst something he’s convinced is entirely made-up for the sake of television screens and ratty paperback novels. He thought he might have found it with Georgie—had felt fondness curl in his stomach when he looked at her, had wanted to hold her hand in his and ground himself in the pressure of her fingers, had found the tight curls of her hair and the plushness of her hips beautiful and had told her as such—but when they’d gone on their first date, then their second, then their twentieth, Jon had grown … less sure. He knew he loved Georgie—loved her smile, the way she laughed, the way she said his name like it was something incredibly precious—so he hardly hesitated when she asked him shyly, one night when sitting on the couch in her flat nearly six months after they’d met, if he’d like to go on a date with her that Saturday.

And it was nice, he remembers. They’d gotten ice cream from a little vendor near the park and had walked alongside elderly couples and dog walkers and middle-aged couples with chattering, happy kids, talking just as easily as they always had. Nothing felt any different, other than when Georgie faux-casually slipped her hand into his and squeezed gently. At the end of the night, she just gave him a small smile, said she had a nice time, and asked softly, “Are you free again next Saturday?”

He was, and he said so, and the next thing he knew Georgie had ducked back inside and he was making the short walk back to his own flat and he felt … excited?

Yes, excited. That had to be it. He was going on another date with Georgie, and he liked Georgie, he liked spending time with her, and it was going to be just as lovely as the first one.

His hand tingled slightly as he unlocked his front door, went inside, and quickly prepared for bed. He remembered the sensation of Georgie’s hand in his, a warm and comforting presence, smiled to himself, and turned off the lights.

Saturday came again quickly. Georgie’s door opened and she stepped outside, a light blue skirt swirling around her knees and her hair twisted up into something more complicated than usual. She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before taking his hand like it was easy and leading him down the street to the restaurant they’d chosen. Something in Jon’s stomach twisted that he decided to label as nerves, but he pushed it aside and fell easily into the familiar rhythm of conversation. They ate their curry in the back corner of the restaurant, and at the end, the waiter slid the check in front of Jon. He hardly had time to look surprised before Georgie giggled a bit, pulled it towards herself, and said, “I asked you, so I’ll pay. Dutch next time?”

All Jon could do was nod. They think we’re on a date, he thought, then immediately after: Of course they do, because we are on a date.

But it hadn’t felt like a date, not really. It had felt like getting dinner with his best friend, telling silly stories about their courses and discussing the newest paranormal investigations documentary they’d watched the previous night. It felt normal.

Maybe this is all dating is, Jon thought as Georgie paid and they left the restaurant and she took his hand again as they made their way home. It’s nice, he decided. Though he didn’t much see the point of labeling it as something different than what they had before.

Then, on the threshold of her flat, Georgie turned and said, like the first night, but shier somehow, “ I … I had a nice time tonight, Jon.”

Her hand found the side of his face, and the touch was nice. He leaned into it slightly with a soft exhalation. “Yes, I … I did as well.”

He looked up at her and smiled, and she smiled back, and...

There must have been something in his expression that he hadn’t meant to put there, he thinks later—something that made Georgie lean down and gently press her lips against his, hers still curled into a smile and his freezing in the shape of one. Shock kept his muscles locked in a rigid stasis until Georgie pulled back, apparently noticing that he’d gone stiff. “Jon? What’s wrong?”

“I … I don’t…” Jon trailed off. He didn’t know what to say. I don’t want to be kissed? He didn’t know if that was true. It was true at that moment, every part of him recoiling from the sensation of her lips on his, but he’d never been opposed to the idea in the past, not like he’d been with the more … intimate bits of a romantic relationship.

Maybe that’s it, then, he thought, just as Georgie pulled back a little further, letting go of his face and hand and giving him space. He ached at the loss, which, well. He didn’t think he had much right to do so at the moment. “Is kissing…?” She worried her bottom lip between her teeth. “Is that an ace thing?” she said, a bit bluntly, like she’d been trying to find a better way to phrase it but had come up short.

“I—I don’t know,” Jon said truthfully. “Maybe? P-probably.” That was less truthful. (Maybe. Christ, he needed a cigarette.) “Sorry,” he said after a moment, his voice very small.

“Oh.” Georgie’s face crumpled as she reached forward again and took his hand in hers. “No, Jon, it’s—it’s all right. I just … I didn’t know. I’m sorry, I should have asked before I—”

“It’s all right.” He needed to do something; he needed to fix this. He cast his mind back to their first date and said, all in a rush, “Maybe—maybe on the cheek, though? I … I don’t think I’d mind that.”

“Jon, you don’t have to—”

“No, I—I want to. Really.” Quieter: “It … it was nice.”

Georgie studied him for a moment. “You’re sure?”

“Yes,” Jon said tightly, forcing the word out around the lump in his throat. Fuck, he was doing this all wrong, wasn’t he? Normal boyfr—

(He shied away from the word.)

—normal people didn’t go into near-rictus when somebody they’d just gone on a date with and had a good time with kissed them. What was he—?

“Okay,” Georgie said quietly. Then, she leaned forward and pressed a soft, quick kiss to the top of his cheek. She pulled away quickly, studying his face. “Was that all right? We don’t have to—”

“No, it—it was good,” Jon smiled to accentuate his point. It only felt a little bit forced. “Th-thank you.”

Georgie squeezed his hand and gave him a kind smile. “Of course. I don’t want to do things that make you uncomfortable, Jon.”

“Right,” Jon said quietly. Then, again: “Thank you.”

Georgie kissed him on the cheek again before disappearing inside. He walked home with burning cheeks and a stomach twisted into knots. Still, as he crawled into bed and switched the lamp off, he couldn’t help but feel a little rush of relief, because that had to have been it. The discomfort that he’d been avoiding, the small twinge of nerves that he’d felt periodically since their first date—it was because of the kissing.

As guilty as Jon felt, that he couldn’t even give Georgie this (Christ, he thought he’d come to terms with his sexuality by now), all he could think as he fell asleep was a drowsy, at least it’s sorted now.

Ten more dates passed that way, with Georgie’s hand clasped in his as they ate together or visited the museum or shopped for candles or drank wine. And it was … comfortable, Jon thought. Georgie held his hand and they talked and then Georgie kissed him on the cheek and it was all fine. He didn’t particularly miss the sensation of her lips on his skin or her hand in his when it wasn’t there, not did he get that butterflies-in-his-stomach feeling when he saw her that everybody said he should expect. He wanted to spend time with her, and he loved her—he knew he did.

It was their twenty-first date, three and a half months after their first, that Jon first realized—or maybe first admitted to himself—that the way Georgie loved him in return wasn’t the same.

It was when Jon was at Georgie’s flat, standing in front of the stove with his tongue sticking out between his teeth as he stirred a pot of sauce, the midday sun streaming in through the window. He’d spent the night tucked against Georgie’s side in bed, and it had been nice, even if the way she’d pressed her face into the side of his neck as they’d begun to drift off had been … odd. Nice, but odd nonetheless. Like there should have been something more there, something Jon was meant to be feeling that he’d somehow missed the mark on.

They’d woken up late. Jon had slipped into one of Georgie’s oversized band t-shirts, worn and soft on his skin, while she still lay in bed, snoring gently. He’d dug up the ingredients for palak paneer, trying not to make too much noise, and had gotten to work.

Jon stirred the pot, scraping a few spices off the sides, and was moving to set the spoon down when a pair of arms wrapped around his middle from behind. He didn’t drop the spoon, but it was a near thing, and his heart pounded in his ears as Georgie said softly, “Good morning.”

“It’s well into the afternoon,” Jon managed to say after a moment.

“Fine, then.” Georgie sounded amused. “Good afternoon.” She hooked her chin over his shoulder and looked at the stove. “What are you making?”

“Palak paneer.” Aware that he’d gone a bit rigid in her arms, Jon forced himself to soften. Just surprised, that’s all, he told himself. “Spicy, the way you like it.”

“Aw, thanks.” Georgie pressed a kiss to his shoulder through the cloth of the t-shirt. Right, that’s fine, Jon told himself. It’s … it’s nice, even. Then, her lips brushing against the shirt as she spoke, she said, “Love you,” and Jon went stiff all over again.

Georgie froze as well, just for a moment. Then, she stepped back and pulled her arms away. “Jon?” Beneath the concern in her voice, there was something raw and hurt, and oh, god, I have to fix this.

“Sorry,” Jon said, still facing the stove. He took a few deep breaths, trying to relax, just relax, and then turned and looked at a spot just to the left of Georgie’s face. “I’m fine.”

“Jon, you’re not—” Georgie cut off with a sigh. “Don’t do that. You know I hate it when you do that. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

Jon fidgeted, looked to the other side of Georgie’s face. “I don’t know,” he said quietly. It was true, but it also wasn’t. He couldn’t get it out of his head—the way Georgie had said those words, with a tender affection that felt so close to what he recognized within himself but also fundamentally different. Love you. He just didn’t know why the sound of it had frozen him with a kind of nervous terror that he still couldn’t shake.

“Is it,” Georgie said, then stopped. She swallowed, looked to the side. “Is it because I said I love you?”

Jon didn’t say anything. Which was damning enough.

“Oh,” Georgie said quietly. She kept looking to the side. “Do you not…” She paused, took a few deep breaths. “Do you not feel the same?” Then, like she couldn’t quite help herself: “Are you not happy with me, Jon?”

“I am happy!” Jon said, because that was the easier question to answer.

“Then please, just—just tell me what’s bothering you.” Georgie swallowed. “Because right now, I just … I don’t know what to think other than that you aren’t happy.” A pause. “That you want to … break up.”

“I don’t … I don’t know how to…” Jon stared down at the spoon still gripped in his hand. It was stained a deep orange from years’ worth of stirring turmeric-infused sauces and tomato bases. Jon had gotten into the habit of calling it his spoon. He always used it when he cooked at Georgie’s, and he was familiar with the whorls in its wooden handle and the feel of it in his hand. He was so comfortable here most of the time; he just … he didn’t understand why it was different sometimes. Why it was different right now, with Georgie looking at him expectantly, his skin still tingling with the memory of her arms around him.

“I don’t want to break up,” Jon said in a very small voice. “But I also … don’t want to … not?”

Georgie was quiet for a moment. Then, a bit sharply: “Jon, what does that even mean?”

Jon couldn’t help wincing. “I don’t know,” he said, just as sharply, embarrassment and shame curling through him like glass shards in his veins. “I just … I don’t understand, a-any of this. I like spending time with you; I like having dinner together and cooking and talking a-and all of the other things that we do. B-but some of it just … makes me…”

Jon flapped his hands, agitated. A few flecks of sauce flew off the tip of the spoon, and Georgie reached forward and carefully took it from his hand. Jon noticed, with no small amount of guilt, that she took great care to avoid touching his skin as she did so. God. He’s a horrible boyf—

His brain caught on the word, an instinctive no. He thought Georgie said something, brow furrowed and eyes intense, but he didn’t quite catch it. His brain felt like it was full of static, or perhaps that it was a broken record, skipping over and over and over again on the same word.

Boyfriend.

Maybe it was the boy part. Jon had thought about his gender before—considered it as he watched people whisk by in billowing skirts, as he rubbed the fabric of one of Georgie’s dresses between his fingers, as he tested new pronouns in his head to see if the weight of them felt right. But he’d never had a problem with he/him, never recoiled at being called a man or sir or Mr. Sims. And partner gave him that same coiling dread in his stomach, the need to get away, the distinct feeling of something that didn’t fit, a constricting shell, cutting off his ability to breathe.

Boyfriend.

It was an obvious conclusion, really, when he finally allowed himself to think about it. There was no reason that it should leave a lump in his throat. There was no reason that he should be so upset about it.

“I … I don’t think that I…” Jon trailed off, choking on that knot in his throat. He thought Georgie might have been saying something, but she stopped when he spoke, waiting patiently for him to continue. She’d always been patient. It was a quality that he admired in her. He’d always been a bit impulsive, more inclined to action than to waiting around.

Maybe this was just him being impulsive. Deciding something about himself without giving it much thought.

… It wasn’t, though. He knew it wasn’t. Just like he knew when he found the term asexual and it felt so right as he slipped it onto himself like a soft jumper.

“I think I might … be … aromantic?”

It fit. God, it fit. Jon didn’t want it to fit. Why didn’t he want it to fit? Why was he resisting this so much? It was ridiculous. This was a good thing. This was a good thing.

“Oh.” Jon couldn’t parse Georgie’s tone if a gun were held to his head. “Is that … similar to asexual? But for … romantic attraction?”

Mutely, Jon nodded. He knew the word; he’d even poked around the wiki page a bit, back when he was still figuring out the ace thing. He’d thought at the time that it didn’t apply to him. He’d had crushes, right? He thought he had. He had things that he called crushes, at least. It was so hard to tell, hard to differentiate between sexual and romantic and aesthetic and platonic attraction, and lacking in one made it so, so much harder. How could he know what all his peers were feeling when they doodled names in the margins of their notebooks and giggled as their crush walked past? He didn’t have that burning desire to sleep with someone that all his teenage friends talked about with such fervency, so he just assumed that what was left—what he did feel—was what romantic attraction must be like. How was he…

How was he supposed to know?

“Jon?” Georgie’s hand hovered just above his shoulder, like she wasn’t sure whether or not she was allowed to touch. “Hey, hey, look at me. Please?”

Jon looked. Georgie didn’t seem angry or hurt or confused or betrayed or any of the things he thought he’d find on her face. Instead, she just looked concerned. “How long has this been bothering you?” she said quietly.

Jon shook his head. Shrugged. Shook his head again. Resisted the urge to flap his hands. “I don’t know.” He exhaled shakily. “M-maybe since the … since the beginning?”

Georgie let out a long, slow breath. Jon was so afraid of what she was going to say next, so he said quickly, “But I—I really like being with you, Georgie. I—I like cooking together a-and reading, a-and the dates are nice because they mean I—I get to spend time with you, a-and I don’t want to lose that. S-so we can date, it’s—it’s fine, really.”

“Jon. No it is not.” Georgie seemed to make a decision and settled her hand on his shoulder, squeezing just on the firm side of gentle. “I’m not going to do something that’s going to make you uncomfortable. And don’t try to tell me that it doesn’t make you uncomfortable,” she added as Jon opened his mouth, “because I don’t like it when you lie about something because you think it’s going to make me happier. I would never ask you to have sex with me because I know that you don’t like it. It’s the same for this.”

Jon closed his mouth and looked down at the ground. “Okay,” he whispered.

Georgie squeezed his shoulder again. Then, delicately: “It … seems like this is making you upset. Do you … want to talk about it more? Or do you want space?”

He wanted both. But he had already been contrary enough for one day. So he quietly took his leave and went back to his flat and lay in bed, even though the sun was still high in the sky and shining brightly through his window, staring at the ceiling and trying to pick apart the mess of emotions sitting in his chest.

First: why was he upset? Finding out he was asexual had been a relief, a weight lifted from his shoulders. He’d finally understood himself, understood that there were other people who felt the way that he did and that it was okay—that it was a whole sexuality. He’d meticulously picked through the micro labels, fascinated by all the nuances contained under that purple-gray-white-black umbrella that had become his home, and he’d ordered a black ring for himself as soon as he was able. It felt good; it felt right.

This felt right too. It also felt … wrong. Like the label was right, but he was wrong. Jon poked at the feeling with ruthless intensity until he felt sore and wrung-out. He turned onto his side and buried his face in his pillow and took a long, deep breath.

He’d always been a bit of a hopeless romantic. He’d loved the idea of dates—had fantasized about what it would look like when he finally went on one, when he finally got to do the thing that everybody around him talked about and that all the movies and books and shows painted with such brilliant colors and that he’d been told all his life was the end goal, the way to be happy, the be-all-end-all. It didn’t matter that he could never actually picture himself on a date—that he could never imagine himself saying yes in the first place, even to the people he decided he had a crush on. He just hadn’t found the right person yet. He’d understand once he did. He’d understand how magical it all could be, how lovely, how right.

Georgie was the right person. And he … he still couldn’t do it in the end.

Jon turned to his other side, letting his hair fall over his face and tickle his cheeks and nose. It felt silly to be upset about this. And also incredibly disrespectful. What was he saying about other aromantic people when he told himself that he was never going to be happy—that he was never going to have the whirlwind romance and the big wedding and the lovely anniversaries? It was a terrible thing to think. There were all sorts of relationships, so many other kinds of love, and of course he didn’t need a romantic partner to be happy. Of course he didn’t.

His twisting stomach and prickling eyes just … needed to get on board with the more rational parts of his brain. That was all.

Feeling inspired and more than a bit stubborn, Jon sat up abruptly, blinked away the spinning vertigo of the sudden motion, and grabbed his laptop. He spent the next few hours digging his way through article after wiki page after blog about aromanticism. He even felt a little bit better by the end of it all. Small victories, he supposed.

He needed to talk to Georgie. He didn’t want to lose her, and he still wanted to be friends (and maybe he’d show her the dozens of articles and web pages about queerplatonic relationships that he’d found if he could work up the courage to do so.) But he was tired, wrung-out and in desperate need of a strong cup of tea. So he sighed, set his computer aside, and dragged himself out of bed and into the kitchen.

They could talk tomorrow.

(The next morning, Georgie took his hand in hers and squeezed gently and said, after he forced himself to stammer out the question, that she was open to the idea of a queerplatonic relationship. And the emotion that rose up within him, overwhelming and intense and choking, was…

Well. It didn’t quite make him feel settled in himself, not yet. But it made him feel like he would be someday. And for now, that was enough.)

[frog-writes-for-fun]

Hallooo. May I request a Platonic False x Touchstarved!Aroace!Reader where Reader has a bad day so False offers to cuddle with them and let Reader rant about how terrible their day was and how people kept assuming that they're dating False or how people kept flirting with them despite Reader stating multiple times that they're Aroace

Yes! We love normalizing platonic cuddles!

A Shoulder to Lean On

c!False x AroAce!Reader (platonic)

Summary: After a rough day, your old friend False is always there for you.

Warnings: Aro/acephobia, swearing, mentions of death/murder.

Note: I am not aromantic or asexual. As such, I cannot speak for these communities. The character portrayed here is not meant to represent any one specific aroace person or portray the feelings of all aroace people.

You fired off another rocket as you glided toward spawn. A few of the other hermits had invited a guest to the server today, and you were excited to meet someone new.

Spotting a lone figure walking along one of the paths, you spiraled down to meet them. You called out a greeting as you approached. “Hello!”

The person looked mildly startled as you dropped out of the sky, elytra folding closed as you hit the ground. “Oh! Hello!”

You stuck out your hand. “I’m Y/N. I heard you were visiting, and decided to come greet you!”

The visitor took your hand and shook it firmly. “I’ve heard about you! You and False are together, right?”

You nodded. “We’re basing together, yes.”

“And how is your girlfriend?”

You were taken aback by this comment. “She’s not my girlfriend. We’re just friends.”

“Ah, ‘just friends.’” They gave an exaggerated wink. “I see. And how is your ‘friend?’”

“No, seriously. I’m aroace; we’re not and never will be in a relationship.”

The visitor hummed. “Right.”

You slumped onto the couch, letting out a groan.

“I know that noise. What’s up?” False peeked into the living room from the kitchen.

“You know how some of the hermits invited one of their friends to the server today?” She nodded. “They’re an asshole.”

False moved fully into the room. “Need to vent?”

You nodded. “Please.” Your friend sat on the couch beside you. You sat up as she slipped an arm around your back and rested your head on her shoulder.

“So, I went to meet the visitor, like you do to be polite, right? And when I introduced myself, they asked if we were together. I thought they were asking if we were basing together, like the Boatem folks or the Big Eyes Crew.”

False nodded along to your words. “A reasonable conclusion.”

Gesturing with your hands, you continued. “So I said yes. Apparently, what they actually meant was “are you guys dating?”

“Oh.” False’s voice took on a knowing tone. She rubbed your arm as you leaned into the touch.

“I corrected them. I told them we were just friends. I even mentioned I was aroace. I was just about as explicit as I could be to try and get my point across. They thought I was lying, or that we weren’t public, or something like that, because they kept referring to you as my girlfriend!” You took a deep breath to calm yourself.

False’s grip around your arm tightened slightly. This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, but usually it was cleared up when you told them about your orientation.

“I explained, calmly, again, that we aren’t dating. Not a romantic relationship, not a queerplatonic relationship, not together in that way at all!”

“Oh, y/n.” False pulled you closer into a hug. You practically melted at the close touch.

“They didn’t directly say that they thought we were in a relationship despite this, but it was kind of obvious.” False hummed in acknowledgement. “I wanted to murder them. I held back, though.”

“I’m proud of you for that.” False pulled back from the hug and smiled. “Murder isn’t always the answer.”

You snorted. “This from the woman with some of the best pvp skills on the server.”

She nodded sagely. “Exactly. Do as I say, not as I do.”

False’s communicator buzzed. As she looked down at it, she sighed. “It appears I am needed elsewhere.”

You only minorly protested as she peeled herself off of you. As much as you loved cuddles, you weren’t truly going to stop her from leaving.

It was about an hour later when you discovered what False had gone to do.

<[Guest] was slain by FalseSymmetry>

[parrot-blues]

genshin hc dump: mondstadt edition (counting travellers as mondstadt since it's where they first went)

*only doing characters that I like a lot/have a good grasp of their character

----

Venti: agender (he/they), trans, gnc, demirom/ace

Aether: demiboy (he/they), trans, greyrom/quoi

Lumine: demigirl (they/she), aroace

Noelle: she/her, oriented aroace

Razor: demiboy (they/he/it), trans, oriented aroace

mondstadt ships I like: xiaoven, xiaother, xiaoventher (I think there might be a trend here, haha ^^'), jeanlisa

favourite mondstadt friendships: fischl, bennett, and razor; noelle and traveller; fischl and mona; venti and traveller

dynamics I see (platonic):

jean and diluc: casual friends; they respect each other. jean wishes she had more time to get to know diluc because she senses that he really needs someone to confide in; diluc is afraid of getting close to her because he feels he is unworthy of friendship

diluc and kaeya: used to be close (brothers), but after their falling out they're obviously not friends/brothers anymore. diluc actually formally disowned kaeya (OUCH), but it broke his heart because after that he realised he had just isolated himself from the one person left in the world who he could trust. kaeya was equally devastated (though he hid it far better, under a mask of indifference), and he also felt completely isolated after that. each wants to go back to how they used to be, but neither is brave enough to take the first step in fixing their relationship

sucrose and albedo: sucrose looks up to albedo a lot; albedo is trying to get her to stop seeing him as such an intimidating figure, and more as a friend (TUMBLR STOP DELETING THIS PART </3)

kaeya and rosaria: drinking buddies who became close friends (they still drink around a lot)

diluc and venti: though he hates to admit it, diluc has grown fond of the green bard. makes sure he doesn't drink too much; venti is grateful to diluc for helping him watch his drinking habits. diluc is trying to convince venti to find healthier coping mechanisms, such as music

bennett and razor: THE MOST ADORABLE BESTIES IN THE WORLD (REAL)- I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC SO MUCH MY DAY LITERALLY BECOMES 10X BETTER WHEN I THINK ABOUT THEM THEY'RE MY COMFORT BEST FRIENDS MY SKRUNKLIES MY EVERYTHING <3 ok coherent talk now: they met when bennett got injured (classic) and razor helped heal him; they taught each other wilderness survival strats (like the epic [gamers] adventurers that they are) and eventually became close. bennett actually thought he had a crush on razor for a while until he realised the feelings were just him finally being comfortable enough to get close to someone (he's always stayed somewhat distant from people bc of his "bad luck")

qpr hc's:

venther: ok I actually originally wasn't a huge fan of this ship except as strictly a friendship but qpr venther has taken over my heart and soul now... I love them... the skrunklies <3 ok so since this is obv related to xiaoventher lemme explain: venti was the first real friend (apart from paimon ofc) that aether had when they first landed in teyvat, and venti in turn is eternally grateful to aether for helping him with dvalin (look man all I'm saying is that if someone helped me find and save my best friend who'd been missing for literal YEARS I'd forever be in their debt). also, venti felt that aether was the first person since zhongli and xiao that he could open up to (we all need new circles of friends sometimes). ergo, besties! after a while, aether realises he is catching some sort of weird feelings for venti; they talk it out, and venti decides to cautiously explore this concept with aether (he wasn't not sure of his own feelings yet tbh). venti falls very, VERY suddenly, and ofc it had to be when he's drunk. aether cares for venti during the hangover, and venti confesses that he thinks he's caught the same feelings. thus, they transition into a qpr (it wasn't rlly a huge change for them tbh). also forgot to mention that this is before xiaother and finally xiaoven get together)

xiaother: xiao wanted to protect aether, and inevitably he began to open up to him and they became close friends. xiao fell first, and he began to get more protective until aether told him to back off a bit; this caused a small rift in their friendship before they got closer again. xiao used this time apart to figure out his feelings because he realised they were different than what he felt for venti, and eventually he realised that he felt alterously towards aether. meanwhile, aether misses xiao bc he likes how chill and quiet their time together is (he needs a break from socialising bruh). when they start getting closer again, aether realises that they feel the same way towards xiao as they do towards venti; miraculously, they actually confess at the same time and become qpr partners (after talking to venti). oh and speaking of venti, this actually forces xiaoven to confront their feelings towards each other (and is the catalyst for them to start repairing their friendship)

xiaoven (yes these dumbasses have their own category bc on the four winds these idiots have sm chaos it's unreal)

xiaoven: started out kind of unhealthy and mostly one-sided (xiao->venti, pre-venti's 500 year hibernation), with xiao basically worshiping venti but venti being on the fence and not fully mentally committed to the relationship bc he was scared of committment (and also of disappointing xiao). they took things way WAY too fast and when venti dropped off the face of teyvat w/o so much as a word or a goodbye it really ruined their relationship, and after xiao heard venti returned from hibernation he avoided him for a really long time until aether came along

(kinda a subcategory bc idk where to put this since I already basically explained how they got together)

xiaoventher: I honestly explained already how they got together earlier, whoops ^^' but their polycule actually starts off much more stable than aether expected (he's privy to the xiaoven drama, from both sides). aether also realised very early on that their relationship was gonna fall apart if they acted as the middleman between xiao and venti, so they forced (/lh) both of them to go to couples' counselling (yay, finally). obviously things don't immediately get better between xiaoven, and they actually break up and start over as friends because they realise that jumping into a romantic relationship right away wasn't the best idea. aether is very proud to see their progress as they slowly learn to trust each other again; one lantern rite, xiaoven finally feel comfortable enough w/each other to try dating again (aether cries from relief bc he was so worried that xiao and venti would lose each other forever). it takes a while, but eventually everyone is comfortable enough with everyone else for them to move in together (this sounds random asf but I swear it's actually important); though all 3 of them are afraid of settling down, making a cabin in aether's serenitea pot was the perfect compromise and now they have a mutual safe space for them to exist <3

[imladiris]

One of the most exhausting parts of being aspec (especially aro) is invisibility in spaces where I’m theoretically welcomed. For example: both of my local groups for queer youth describe themselves as “LGBTIQ”. When I asked them if they welcomed aces and aros, they insisted that of course they do - but there’s no A in their acronym, and their resources only mention lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people by name, so how was I to know? A while ago, I was reading one of their informational leaflets and it said that “with time, you will figure out whether you’re straight, gay, or bisexual”. Considering all this, am I, an aroace, really welcomed here?

There’s a term that I resonate with and have been considering using as an identity, that is rooted in my culture. By definition, it is for people whose gender and sexuality don’t fit into the usual moulds - a category that includes me. But whenever I see it used, whenever I see representation for it, I never recognise myself in those experiences because they're invariably about being (what we commonly call) lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. Am I, an aroace, allowed to claim this identity? I fit the definition, but is there space for me among those who use it?

It’s a strange and often frustrating feeling, to be told I belong but never shown that I do. To see umbrella terms that include me, but never hear that my specific orientation is welcomed unless I ask - and then be met with a dismissive “of course, why would you ever think you’re not welcome?” Gee, I don’t know, maybe the fact that you have every pride flag on your website except mine, maybe how you say you accept people “no matter who they love”, maybe the fact that your narrative about how “we have always existed” only mentions same-sex intercourse, maybe how nobody in your group shares my identity and the experiences you give a voice to are never mine.

I just want to be told I belong somewhere. I’m not straight, I know I don’t fit in that mould; but communities of “not straight” people barely ever acknowledge people like me, making me feel like I exist in an in-between space of nothingness. Those of us who diverge from the norm need someone to look up to, to feel like being ourselves is okay. As an aroace who is constantly made to feel invisible, where am I supposed to find this?