#why are oriented aroaces singled out

[clouded-void]

It always gives me whiplash when people describe oriented aroace as a “contradictory” identity. How is being an oriented aroace contradictory?

Most “contradictory” identities play with society’s expectations of X group which is honestly amazing. Aroace doesn’t mean “never feels attraction”. How is being oriented “contradicting” being aroace?

[alliepretends]

Since I posted one of my Dimension 20 hot takes, and didn't literally explode. I think I'll post the other one that really matters to me.

The discourse around aroace Riz is really hard for me. And I find it really hard to be empathic toward people who think about it differently than I do. And I think it's important to put that lack of empathy in context. Fandom (and by this I mean the broader fandom culture, not D20 fandom specifically) has generally been an extremely hostile space for aromantic people. Shipping is the central pillar of fandom engagement and dialogue. And a romantic lens is typically the very first lens applied to the source material when it is brought into fandom spaces. By that I don't just mean it's what people think about first, I mean analysis tends to pass first through the lens of romance, and then only things the romantic lens can't lay claim to are left for other kinds of analysis. Even for aromantic people like me, who very much enjoy romance when it exists in the realm of fiction, it's hard not to feel like there's a message in that. "Characters, and the fiction they exist in, are only valuable when seen through the lens of romance. Regardless of the genre of the source material. That's because romance is unquestionably the most important and defining feature of life. Unless it's sex." This can get pretty extreme if you become a fan of something with an especially strong central ship (like a Supernatural), where it can feel like literally all analysis of any aspect of the work has to tie back to the ship. In my experience, the sub-culture of fandom, for all its trappings of queer acceptance, is far more arophobic and aro-hostile than any other culture or sub-culture I participate in. Not because fans are actively making anti-aro posts or hate aro people, but because romance is elevated as the primary element of human experience. The only one really worth talking about and exploring. The only one worth writing fics about or dedicating massive posts to. It is worth noting that the Dimension 20 fandom (and, based on my experience, actual play in general) seems to be less romance-focused than other fandoms. There's lots of gen fic. There's lots of discussion that doesn't focus on romance. But that doesn't mean the Dimension 20 fandom somehow exists separately from overall fandom culture. The baggage of that larger culture still informs this fandom.

And that's why the way Riz gets talked about feels like such a slap in the face. He is the first example I (and I expect many others) have encountered of a heavily-coded aromantic character popular with fandom. And yet, that hasn't freed him from the fandom scramble to read him through the lens of romance. I'll admit to being a bit of an extremist on this. I know that for many aromantic people having a single qpr that fills many of the needs of romance is really an important part of their experience. Many of my aromantic/aspec friends feel this way. But I don't even like qpr Fabriz. Because even though that is an authentic and important part of aromanticism to represent. With a character like Riz, whose fears are explicitly based around the lack of access he has to coupledom, qpr Riz still feels like an attempt by romance-oriented fandom to jam the first aromantic character the sub-culture gets its hands on into something that looks enough like traditional coupledom that no one has to change their romance-oriented outlook. The myth of the OTP can live on if you just change some of the verbiage. I know there are arospec people that would also feel excluded if fandom fell in line with my perspective and kept Riz as far away as possible from anything resembling romance. I don't actually know what the right solution to these problems is. We got thrown one bone and there's a bit of a desire to fight over it (Wikipedia's list of aromantic characters has 18 characters, and while that's not all of them, it's a decent percentage). But I did want to put this out in the world. Because I feel like there's a lot of context and baggage missing from this discourse. And all I really want is to have fandom still be able to treat an aromantic character as valuable even when they can't neatly pair him off

[arotechno]

the way the aro community talks about attraction is inadequate

Disclaimer: The following is in no way intended to invalidate, shame, or "call out" anyone for using whatever language or terminology they see fit to describe their own experiences. This is about community-wide trends and pressures, rather than individual choices.

As an aroace, I've never felt a particular desire to label other types of attraction I may or may not feel. Identifying as aroace is a way for me to express my disconnect with what society at large views as healthy, normal, valuable, and aspirational; that is, a committed, monogamous, sexual and romantic relationship. I don't want those things. I'm not able to even understand them. But by and large, beyond that, I don't find the framework of different types of attraction very useful at all.

This is the fatal flaw of the split-attraction model in its most advanced form: it's predicated on the idea that there are distinct types of attraction that can be qualified and quantified in neat and tidy boxes. Just as there are people for whom romantic and sexual attraction cannot be separated, there are many (like myself) for whom the very concept of attraction breaks down more and more the more you try to categorize it.

Here's the thing: relationships (of any kind) aren't inherently predicated on attraction, just as they aren't necessarily predicated on love. We can understand, as a community, why an aro person might have a successful romantic relationship despite not feeling romantic attraction, or why an ace person might enjoy engaging in sex even if they are not sexually attracted to their partner. Attraction does not equal action. So why, then, must we make the assumption that everyone must categorize their feelings in terms of attraction at all? This is how we end up with terms like queerplatonic attraction, which warps the original definition of queerplatonic such that a QPR becomes something predicated on a separate kind of attraction that is more unique and special than "regular" platonic feelings, rather than being a broad type of non-romantic relationship that is deliberately built and developed by the people in it based on their own personal needs and desires, and not necessarily based on some ephemeral type of attraction.

This sort of trend towards hyper-categorization is extremely frustrating to someone like me, who doesn't view their relationships or their feelings for others in terms of attraction at all. I'm not platonically "attracted" to my friends, I don't think. I love them platonically (deeply, unconditionally, almost like family), but naming it as attraction makes me almost uncomfortable. Others may not feel that way and that's fine. It's no skin off my nose how people choose to talk about their own feelings. But the implicit expectation in a lot of aro spaces is that you will label your attraction, your feelings, your experiences, your desires, your orientations according to such-and-such paradigms, as if we can wordsmith our way out of simply understanding one another. As if the diversity of aromantic experiences were something we need to break down and quantify.

All of these things are socially constructed. Sex, romance, love, relationships, attraction. That doesn't make them not real, but they are not divinely granted concepts with their own inherent, easy-to-understand taxonomy. We make up the language necessary to describe complex and diverse human experiences as best we can, because it's the only way. But what is absolutely crucial to remember, as a crucial tenet of aro activism and beyond, is that none of these models work for every single person, and needn't be prescriptive.

[fallenrain40]

i know being aro and ace are separate things. but i feel for me, in some ways, me being ace seems to mix with my aro identity a lot. like, I'm sure I've said this many times before, but I see myself mostly as aroace as it's own, single unique identity rather than just "aro + ace", just like how red + blue is, yes, technically purple, but purple isn't "red-blue". it's purple, it is it's own color. and saying something is "red and blue", usually never means it's purple. it means that it's red and blue separately. this is how i see being aroace. some aroaces = purple. (those who see our identity as it's own thing, separate from just aromantic and asexual; while those two are what created it, it is something else once combined.) some aroaces = red and blue. (those who their identity aromantic + asexual, separately. this does make sense to me, I just don't personally totally feel this way.) and then ofc, there's people who see it in either way during different situations. also, because I am really liking this analogy, I want to use it a bit further. let's say aro is red and ace is blue. for someone who views their aroaceness as seperate, a greyromantic person may be light red + blue. for someone who views their aroaceness as a single identity, a greyromantic ace may be a more bluish-purple, since the red is less strong. this can also explain why it can (sometimes) be easier for someone who views their orientations as separate to figure out where they are on the spectrum. if you just have red and blue, you can just... see which color is brighter or if both are the same. however it can be harder in different lightings (say, under a red colored light, the red would look brighter than the blue, or just brighter than it really is) but ultimately, it's fairly clear. if you have purple, to actually figure out how much blue and red make up the color, you have to pull up the color values. you have to put your orientation in a perspective you wouldn't normally EVER see it in- (aka, looking at them separately) to figure it out. and, on top of that, lighting can also screw with it. so you could think you have it, then have to go and reevaluate later.

ANYWAYS i hope yall liked lil my mini essay here.

[raavenb2619]

Does coming out lead to too much focus on labels?

(I don't really have a main thesis I'm trying to convince anyone of, I just had a thought and wondered what other people thought.)

When I had recently figured out I was ace/aro/nonbinary, I really cared about finding the right labels for me. And the aspec community in particular has so many unique perspectives and labels that you can apply to yourself. What kinds of attraction do you feel, how do you label your orientations and attractions, what model do you use to think about attraction, how do you think about relationships, how do you feel about sex/romance/relationships, etc. It was super eye opening to learn about lots of different terms, and different ways of thinking about things, and things I'd never even thought about or thought I even could think about, and I ended up applying lots of labels to myself.

But, it's been many years since then, and over time I've grown less interested in applying specific labels to myself. I'm still queer/ace/aro/trans/nonbinary/polyam, but I don't really use other labels. (And depending on the situation, I might end up omitting labels when vagaries work fine.) That's not to say that I don't have affinity with other labels, whether that's "I'm similar to what this label describes" or "this label provides an interesting perspective that I like", I just...don't use other labels to define my identity. If I'm comfortable enough talking about something that I could use a label for, I'll just describe my experiences directly, instead of saying "I'm [blank]".

And, I wonder if that shift from specificity to vagary has to do with coming out. For a young aroace like me, part of why coming out was so nerve-racking was that I felt like I had to prove that my identity was real, and having specific labels I could point to and say "look, this is real, I'm not making this up, other people are like this too" was super helpful. But, it's been many years since I've come out, and I'm more confident and know who I am, and that insecurity that I fought back with fistfuls of labels and well-rehearsed explanations is gone. (With the potential exception of QPR-related discussions, which feel kind of like coming out again; I might make a post about that some time if people are interested.)

Every time I've ever come out, or seen someone come out in real life or in media, it's always been "I'm [blank]", but I've never seen someone come out as "I'm not cis/straight". It's always a declaration that you are a specific thing, never a statement that you aren't something someone thought you were. I remember really wanting to make sure I knew exactly what I was and didn't come out as one thing and then change my labels later, because it would mean I'd have to come out again and it would be embarrassing that I got things wrong and maybe people would start to doubt me and not believe me when I said I was something in the future. But, people don't have to be a fixed, immutable set of labels forever; I'm comfortable with using vague labels for myself and letting myself be vague and nebulous and fluid without frantically trying to label every single part of myself. (And, in fact, I did technically get my labels slightly wrong the very first time I came out, and everything turned out okay in the end.)

So, maybe coming out puts an undue pressure on finding specific labels and making sure they're exactly right; maybe coming out should also be able to be "I'm not cis/straight". What do people think?

(This is not to say that specific labels are bad, because they can often be very helpful! Specific labels were helpful for me when I used them, and their existence can spark conversations and lead to new perspectives and learning. Even as I'm finding vagueness and nebulousness to be better for me right now than specific detailed labels, other people can be finding that specific detailed labels give them a sense of belonging and community and identity. But, I still wonder if coming out placed an undue burden on younger me to find all the right labels when vagueness could have worked just as well.)

[davekat-sucks]

"OH my god, Anon! [Feferi]'s PETA!"

spot on on, because if meenah is more like caliborn, feferi is more like calliope. and thats how you get beforus, a nanny state planet that pretends to be an utopia. tumblr. speaking of which.

I'm cool with whatever people do in their spare time, you know, you do you. But what ticks me off is when they start acting all authoritarian with their headcanons, insisting they are canon and claiming others are clueless, ignorant, illiterate, tone-deaf, every internalized or externalized -ist and -phobic under the sun etc for not seeing it that way. Treating fictional characters with more decency than they do with real people essentially. So because I dont give a single iota of a fuck anymore, let me call out this retarded fandom that butterfly effected all western fandoms turning into warzones and hussies lazy hack ass really quick.

Here's the deal: Some people really just wanna show off how "woke" they are to others, so they slap labels like they're trendy accessories and project onto characters without giving a damn about their background or personality. That usually backfires and ends up with pretty darn terrible results. We all know this, we've heard the HS2 horror stories. And that's exactly what went down here again.

Because, lately, there's this, as I said let's call it headcanon, floating around insisting that the Vantases, Kankri in particular, are canonically aromantic asexual (aroace). The Vantases are the worst possible candidates in the whole webcomic for this. Why?

1: celibacy ≠ aroace. first one is not an orientation, but a choice to abstain from acting on attraction. and the other IS a orientation, not a choice, where you feel little to no romantic or sexual attraction. so much for respecting some people's identities and values. If the vantases HAVE to be assigned a human label despite being fucking aliens, why not demisexual???? kankri even asks karkat if he might be "panquadrantic demiromantic", doesnt that fit how the signless took time to open his heart to the disciple and had a love that went beyond all quadrants with her?

they are both HORNY and THIRSTY as hell for the pyropes, the captors, the leijons, john egbert, i dont fucking know, take your pick. make them fuck a clown. That's why Karkat is obsessed with romance and Kankri panders so hard, they are both that pathetically desperate for someone to connect and care for them back as obsessively intense as they are with everything.

3: Some previous anon pointed out how HIC, besides being an authoritarian tyrant that wanted galaxy-wide conquest, is an eugenicist fascist. Yes. She genocided limebloods. So did Beforan Feferi actually. And you know Karkat's handle? carcinogeneticist? How he inherited the Signless's burden? These things are all related, and let me use a comparison to explain how or why. Imposing this label onto them would be as perplexing as suggesting that Aang from THE LAST AIRBENDER, being a monk, should also be aroace. Right after all the airbenders were wiped out by firebenders, also authoritarian tyrants that wanted world conquest. Do you see the parallels? Karkat and Kankri have significant self-esteem issues, stemming from their mutant blood, from which bloodcaste they mutated from? Limebloods. The caste that has faced intense persecution, to the extent of genocide, on BOTH planets, resulting in their GENETIC LINEAGE being wiped out from the troll GENE POOL. Limebloods are EXTINCT. That's why their mutancy is their burden, it saved them from being killed, but condemned both to a lifetime of suffering and hiding under the same culling regime that killed their kin. And that's why the burden is the responsibility of revitalizing their bloodcaste BY PROCREATING. ADDING THEIR GENES TO THE TROLL GENE POOL. But because both Karkat and Kankri are fucking idiots with crippling self-esteem issues and Hussie wrote with his asscheeks, what did these two chucklefucks do instead? One praised the Empress that wanted to kill him and wanted to become her thresecutioner, and out of desperation did the devil's tango with the worst and most disgusting vile living being available, a hussie self-insert. And the other became fucking CELIBATE to focus on what was truly important to oppose the regime he disagreed with… performative bullshit that nobody asked him to care about, overcorrecting to the point of being even more offensive than the start, and not actually solving any problems but creating more. To make "progress as a civilization" with trigger warnings, HE DIDN'T PRESERVE THE FUTURE OF HIS OWN BLOODCASTE. NEITHER DID KARKAT WHO WAS TOO BUSY WATCHING MOVIES. And that was actually clever writing, because if you are a fandom activist who hates kankri, and also think hes unironically aroace because he's celibate, congratulations! You fell for the trap, youre exactly the kind of person Kankri is satirizing, he also missed the point by hyperfocusing on labels and hating himself, and like a self fulfilling prophecy, became the same thing that he was fighting against without realizing because he unwittingly ended up aiding troll eugenics by doing the hard work and taking himself out of the dating pool!

So next time you see a pretentious writer vagueposting about you or your interpretation of a character or guilt tripping you because you dont adhere to their offensive stereotypes, check if they headcanon Kankri as aroace, and if they do, you can simply smile and rest assured knowing that nothing you do will ever be as disconnected from reality or as far off the mark regarding character interpretation as that. Why would you listen to these evil people? Are you like Hussie?

That is truly why Davekat really fucking sucks and always fucking will,

Because not only did it ruin everything with their nonexistant chemistry-less relationship but because thanks to it and pandering to its stans, Sea Hitler won and both muties are out of the gene pool and limebloods remain extinct. That IS actually canon.

And while Johnkat and Jadekat are excellent, Karkat and Kankri's harem of trolls is better than davekat. Suck my dick.

PD: What's that? Baby HIC married Karkat? Doesn't surprise me. Grooming kids is her whole thing. There really was no excuse for not making Karkat fuck Sollux or Terezi instead.

Karkat and Kankri's Harem are better than Davekat. Meenah, Porrim, and Aranea sprites from @befriendus Damara sprite by @magua-vida

Condesce, Disciple, Redglare Neophyte, and the Dolorosa by elanor-pam

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

See, here's the thing, I am onboard with SolarxMoon. Their dynamic is the cutest within the Tsams/Tlaes that I have enjoyed. What I am not onboard, as an AroAce, is when you and your friends use your A-specs cards as some sort of gotcha. Yes, some A-specs can date either romantically or qpr, and they are used against us A-specs that are romance/sex-repulsed as some sort of invalidation of who we are. We are all too familiar with: "Well, this A-specs person dates. What's stopping you? You have no excuse." and "I like shipping and I'm A-specs, so..."

You and your friends got to understand why the way you worded things made you three seem aphobic to your own community. Adding on, celebrating that Moon is now questioning was another questionable move on your guys' part. A lot of A-specs Tsams fans found comfort in him being AroAce and being the representation for a group who has little to no representation at all in any sort of media. Imagine how it felt seeing people of your own community being happy that the one thing we had as a community is now being erased.

Just because you're part of the minority group doesn't mean you can't be -phobic to that very same group. Tons upon tons of LGBTQA+ infighting has proven this.

Okay.

I tried to go to bed.

But I couldn't after I got this message.

It got me really tossing and turning and thinking, truthfully.

So, maybe I haven't made myself clear in my initial posts.

But I am not saying or using A-spec cards as a "gotcha"

That is not my intention so let me make it abundantly clear what I am trying to say.

Solar and Moon are not real.

Even if Moon was ace, I would ship them Queerplatonically, and I still do right now.

I believe limiting characters on how they can be shipped is Acephobic. Because you are limiting options and narrowing the box of what the ace spectrum can be.

My experiences are not others experiences.

The reason why I personally was excited about Moon being questioning, is because my sexuality is very fluid.

I have identified as Bisexual, Queer, Dyke, Questioning, Demisexual, Grey and Fag.

As of now, I am experimenting with the term aroace and it seems to fit me for now. Will I change it in a few years? Perhaps. I'm not even sure on how much aroace I am. Probably more demi or grey spectrum.

But a fictional character, expressing need to change their sexual orientation because of differing circumstances, means a great deal to me. Because back then, folks thought 'the gays' we're just all 'born this way' or there is something wrong with us.

That if you were gay or ace or lesbian you were born that way and it's concrete and nothing you can do or say will say that.

Unless they literally beat or fucked it out of you. Which is just awful btw.

Nowadays, people experimenting with sexuality and labels is far more common.

To see it in characters in a silly little youtube show like Moon, and Lunar makes me really happy.

It tells me "yes you can change your mind. You can be whatever you want to be."

So when I say "I am on the ace spectrum and I ship this"

What I actually mean is:

"They are fictional characters and you are flexible to portray them in any level of ace that you want that you personally identify with. Because they are not real. They can be whatever level of ace you want."

I am allowing every single ace to express Moon at the level of aceness they feel comfortable with. Because he is not real. Where he lies on the spectrum is entirely up to you. Your fanart. Your fanworks.

Now. Did you need all my sexual identity history to know that.

Probably not.

But I had to let this all out here. Because I'm tired.

If this makes me Acephobic by saying that sexuality is flexible and labels can be changed and so can levels of the spectrum with experience.....

Then...

I don't know man.

I'm tired.

[yeehaww-sims]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!

I'm only a little late, but better late than never!! Today I have for you: 16 recolours and an overlay, totaling to 17 pieces of cc!

I know some of these have been recoloured for pride before, but I've never been happy with some of them, so I did it myself!

This started out as a personal recolour series for myself and my partner, but I wanted to share it with everyone! Because of that, please note that certain flags/terms were chosen with my personal wants/preferences in mind first, and then others I thought others might want/are never included in any recolour. If a flag is included that isn't the most popular version of it, or feels as though it might not fit, this would be why.

BGC, some meshes included, some not.

150 swatches per item, not including the overlays.

Overlays are located in the Toenail category.

The hoodies are an update to This Piece of CC that I made last year, and will replace the originals.

I realize this is a LOT of flags. It’s a lot for me to even remember. Feel free to remove swatches you’re not going to use, the original will always remain up if you want any back!

I won't be doing flag requests for these, but if you have a flag you'd like to see in game, may I interest you in This?

Every single item uses the same flags; if you feel something doesn't fit a particular piece of CC that's not my problem.

Don’t claim it as your own, and please feel free to tag me if you use it!

Most textures were sourced from Pride-Flags Deviant art, LGBTA Wiki, Tumblr, Twitter, or google search.

T[SW]ERFS/Bigots/Exclus die! You are not welcome to this CC :)

DOWNLOAD: [SFS] | [MF]

Meshes: [Answer] [Illusion] [Paper Plane] [Circle Earring]* [Bottlecap Earring]* [Adult Hoodies] [Bandana]* [Necklaces] [Child Hoodie] [Binder] * = REQUIRED

Below is a list of every flag included. Some flags include uncensored reclaimed slurs. If you don’t care for/disagree with a flag/term, just delete it from the file. I do not care, I will not be involved in any discourse, and if you message me about it, I will just ignore you. Please respect my boundaries. Thank you. Happy pride!

See also: [Pronoun Hoodies] [More Pride Flags v2] [Pride Thigh Highs] <- Made by my partner, using the same flags as below!

Usually I would link every single flag, but Tumblr refused to let me save the post while I was in the process of doing so. So, instead, you can find all the flag's sources and meanings [HERE]

[Rainbow Flag] [Gilbert Baker 8 Stripe] [Gilbert Baker Diversity] [Philadelphia Pride] [Progress] [Progress + Intersex] [QPOC] [Gay Anarchy] [Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism] [Abrosexual]

[Achillean] [Agender] [AlloAce] [AlloAro] [Alterhuman] [Amatopunk] [Androgynous] [Angled AroAce] [Aromantic] [Aroflux]

[Aroflux] [Aromantic Spectrum] [AroAce] [AroAce Spectrum] [Asexual] [Aceflux] [Aceflux 2] [Asexual Spectrum] [Autigender] [Bear]

[Bigender] [Bigender 2] [Bisexual] [Bi Gay] [Bi Lesbian] [Boyflux] [Bungender] [Catgender] [Ceterosexual]

[Cinthean] [Demiboy] [Demigirl] [Demigender] [Demiromantic] [Demisexual] [Diamoric] [Dollboy] [Dyke] [Enbian]

[Enbian] [Faggot] [Femme] [Futch] [Gay Man/Vincian] [Gay Man/Vincian 2] [Gay Man Double Mars] [GENDERANARCHY] [Genderfae] [Genderfaun]

[Genderfluid] [Genderflux] [Genderless] [Genderpunk] [Genderqueer] [Gendervoid] [Gendervoid 2] [Girlflux] [Greyromantic] [Greysexual]

[Heartless Aromantic] [Homoflexible] [Inclusionist] [Intergender] [Intersex] [Intersex 2] [Leather] [Lesbian] [Lesbian 2] [Lesbian Labrys]

[Lesbian Trans Labrys] [Lesbian Trans Labrys 2] [Lesbian Sappho] [Lesbian apersnickitylemon] [Lesbian Double Venus] [Lesboy] [Loveless Aromantic] [Loveless Aromantic 2] [Loveloose] [Lovequeer]

[Maverique] [Multigender] [Multisexual] [Multisexual Spectrum] [M-spec Gay] [M-spec Lesbian] [Nebularomantic] [Nebulasexual] [Neurogender] [Neutrois]

[Nonbinary] [Nonhuman Unity] [Non-SAM Aromantic] [Objectum Sexual] [Omnisexual] [Omni Gay] [Omni Lesbian] [Oriented AroAce] [Otherkin & Kingender] [Pangender]

[Pansexual] [Pan Gay] [Pan Lesbian] [Polyamorous] [Polyamorous 2] [Polyamorous 3] [Polygender] [Polysexual] [Ply Gay] [Ply Lesbian]

[Pupgender] [Queer Anarchy] [Queer Chevron] [Queer] [Queerplatonic] [Sapphic] [Stargender] [Systemfluid] [Therian] [Tomboy]

[Transgender] [Transandrogynous] [Transaporine] [Transfeminine] [Transfeminine 2] [Transmasculine] [Transmasculine 2] [TransNeuFem] [TransNeuMasc] [Transneutral]

[Transneutral] [Transoutherine] [Transxenine] [Trigender] [Twink] [Two-spirit] [Unlabeled] [Unlabeled Gender] [Voidpunk] [Xenogender]

🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

@maxismatchccworld @mmfinds @ts4pride @emilyccfinds @sssvitlanz

[velvet-games]

intro post

I'll probably add more to/change this later; I've just needed an intro post for a while, and this is what I could think of. you should probably remind me to update it if this section is still here after like six months lol.

name/pronouns/age/gay shit~

honestly you can call me whatever, but I probably won't know you're talking about me unless you use vel/velvet.

prefer they/it; any pronouns are fine.

I'm probably non-binary I guess.

I'm an adult.

I basically just identify as queer at this point, but I'm like,, vaguely aroace-spec probably? still figuring it out. I'm actually very happy to talk about it more specifically, but I might have to sit you down for an entire day to explain it lol.

what I do/post~

I mostly post fandom stuff, and my original posts include a lot of art + occasional meta. I'm starting write fic too, so that might be a more regular thing in the future :)

other accounts~

@/velvetygames -- explicit nsfw twitter/x account, not very active

@cornerbytes -- old dragon prince account that I will probably revisit when the new season comes out

@/velvet_games -- ao3 account

nsfw~

I post occasional nsfw here (never super explicit; that's saved for my twitter); it'll be tagged #nsft.

fandoms~

current fandom: hazbin hotel

previous fandoms:

hannibal (will always have a very special place in my heart)

arcane (will revisit when the new season comes out)

ofmd (literally so happy this exists; devastated it's not getting a new season)

the dragon prince (will probably revisit when the new season comes out)

good omens

lotr (I also read like 2/3 of the hobbit and will hopefully finish it this summer lmao)

things in media that make me go insane (in a good way)~

friendship

happy endings

cannibalism

(WELL-WRITTEN) romance (THAT RESPECTS THE CHARACTERS AS INDIVIDUALS AS WELL AS WHO THEY ARE IN RELATION TO OTHERS)

surrealism

good visuals (even if everything else is shit; extra points if it's animation)

angst

fake-hating

this one's weird but I love situations where a character is really helpless; I thought I liked whump because I can be borderline sadistic about it sometimes, but whump is really not necessary at all to this concept

religious stuff, mythology, angels specifically for some reason (especially when they're terrifying and/or fallen)

gay people

requests~

you are welcome to send in ideas through comments, DMs, asks, etc., but I can't guarantee I'll draw them. if I don't, it doesn't mean that I don't like your idea; I'm probably just busy or have too many brainworms about a specific thing to draw anything but what's on my mind.

notes~

I randomly get really anxious about feedback on stuff sometimes lol, but I promise I read every single comment/tag and cherish them very deeply <33

also, like/rb spamming is totally fine and welcomed! I know some people don't like it, so I just wanted to make it clear that it's completely cool with me.

mutuals~

for a really long time, this was my pinned post, and it's still true! definitely welcome any interactions from mutuals <3

I do have a problem with randomly ghosting people though; I've been much better with it recently, but please try not to take it personally if I don't respond to DMs quickly. I'm probably just being insane and in my head about it. I'm really sorry.

misc~

this is an account that is purposely removed from my irl stuff; I'm here to have fun and relax on my mostly fandom-oriented blog.

I don't block often since I mostly meet nice people on here, but I am very happy to block accounts that make my experience on this app shitty.

I try to tag triggers when appropriate, but please let me know if you need me to tag anything I haven't.

art for me is just a hobby I use for fun and self-expression, so while I really appreciate concrit, keep in mind that my goal is ultimately to make stuff that makes me happy.

I am also very protective of young artists that get made fun of for being beginners or making unconventional art; you should never assume why someone is making art, and you especially should not assume that they are focused on becoming more skilled or making things that are beautiful to you. if they're not hurting anyone and you're not their target audience, get the fuck out.

I am of the mindset that media is not real, but that your reaction/the things you learn are. liking cannibal media does not make you a cannibal, but seeing bigoted portrayals of minorities can feed your biases (doesn't necessarily mean you can't consume it; does mean its effect on you/others irl should factor into if/how you decide to interact with it).

I'm vaguely fucked in the head. just keep that in mind.

[tiger-moran]

Please shut up about how we have to separate asexual and aromantic, please shut up about how they're 'totally separate identities that need to be acknowledged as separate and need separate representation!'

For SOME people they're separate, SOME. Not all. Some people are both and they are separate for them. Some people are one and not the other. Those are all great and valid ways to experience attraction (or its lack) and yes absolutely we need more representation for all aspec identities! But not everyone fits under those! Nor are we going to see ourselves represented in characters where the identities are clearly separated.

But this is the constant message that I'm seeing, that they're separate, that they have to be treated as separate, that they basically don't overlap even for people who are both, and also that not only the attraction but the experiences we have because of those identities don't even have any real overlap or similarities, and I'm sick to death of it. I'm sick of practically every single 'aspec positivity' blog or post making it sound as if I HAVE to separate them when I can't. I'm sick of it being made out I'm 'using labels wrong' or that I'm 'experiencing attraction wrong'. I never see any real acknowledgement of people who are both and can't separate them, I never see any acknowledgement any more of people who are asexual meaning both because the SAM does not apply to us and also we don't see why asexual unlike pretty much every other orientation HAS to be assumed to be neatly and clearly split and actually some of us are pretty resentful both that a split has basically been forced on every aspec person now and also that if ever we try to assert that we're asexual meaning both our aromanticism gets erased and we're just assumed to be alloromantic or we get treated like 'fake aromantics' who aren't really aromantic at all and only actually care about our lack of sexual attraction (and I do wonder if a similar thing happens to those who also don't use the SAM but call themselves just aromantic). Even that aroace flag which I don't even like anyway but that was supposed to sort of represent people like me who can't separate our asexuality from our aromanticism still gets used by people who insist basically I've got to see asexual and aromantic as separate identities. I've had to block so many blogs for doing this (because actually, I hate confrontation, I hate arguing, I don't want to confront people over this so I'd rather just block them so I don't have to see it any more) - because they keep posting content, even so called 'positivity', that is basically just erasing and excluding people like me from what are meant to be my own communities and they really do just make me feel like shit over something I've never felt like shit about ever before until this insistence on using the SAM and neatly and clearly splitting up the identities started to happen. (And yes I'm also sick of this overall sense that people are trying to shove everyone in the queer community into all these totally separate boxes and act like there's no overlap between the identities and/or the experiences of any of them. I still think this insistence on a neat and precise ace/aro split is symptomatic of a wider issue.)

I'm not even saying that asexuality and aromanticism can never possibly be experienced separately or never have separate experiences or issues sometimes even for people like me, but there is just no point where my asexuality clearly and neatly splits from my aromanticism, there is no clear divide between my lack of sexual attraction and lack of romantic attraction. But it's like... just fuck everyone who's both asexual and aromantic and can't neatly separate them I guess. That's the message I've been getting for many years now (and it gets even worse every time Pride Month comes around).

I'm sorry for sounding angry about this and repeating myself about this too but the reality of this is it's shoved people like me out, it's left us nowhere we feel like we belong. And sorry too but I was IDing as asexual meaning both before a lot of the people doing this, insisting they have to be viewed as separate, were probably even born, so I am pretty annoyed that it got to this stage when basically everyone started acting like we're not allowed to do that and that you have to use these neatly split terms instead. (Also this is in addition to there being rather too much actual genuine negativity - not simply repulsion towards the idea of having sex themselves but actual real negativity - towards not just sex but people who have sex coming from some asexual people, which is both unpleasant and also alienating to a lot of aspecs, or the proliferation of ideas like 'aces love cuddling' which are treated like the singular asexual experience when they also don't apply to many of us. Plus the general ignoring of/erasure of older asexual people as well. A lot of the time it does feel too like the aspec community or communities forgets anyone over the age of about 25 or so even exists in them.)

I'm just so tired of this.

[bitch-spectrum]

!!YOU ASKED FOR THEM!!

This post hit 5 likes so, headcanons.

PART 1/3

I'm not doing every single character, just the ones that felt plot important to me. These are (mostly) based on pacifist/true ending.

!!!OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS!!!

Ace

Personality Headcanons: He used to be a hardcore gambling addict as a way to cope with his post-war stress. He was also probably a heavy drinker. Both of these things he's had a solid recovery from since joining TF4. Starlo probably found him down on his luck and in a lot of debt. He still drinks and gambles, just not nearly as much as he used to. He's probably somewhere in his mid 30s ~34-37. He's the last person you want to play casual poker with though. He always wins. He's also pretty good at throwing darts but doesn't bother with it as much as card games. Physical Headcanons: He's left handed. ~5'09". He has to walk with a cane sometime from a childhood accident that never fully healed due to the lack of medical access in the underground. Because of that too he doesn't know exactly what his condition is either. He just knows some days his knee hurts and some days it doesn't. Gender: Trans Male Pronouns: He/Him Orientation: Demisexual Demiromantic but just says he's aroace for simplicity. Post Game: Life continues on as it was going for him without much drastic change. Opinions: I really love his design, I just wish we got more of him. 3/5.

Axis Personality Headcanons: He doesn't need to eat but will feel left out if you eat without him. Chujin would always have lunch with him at the lab while he still worked there. Axis would try to mimic eating sounds to feel included. Like imagine robot voice going "Om nom nom." Thats sort of what he did. While locked away in the abandoned lab he started to grow really fond of bugs and mice. Physical Headcanons: I don't have many other than Chujin based his design after a drawing Kanako did. Somewhere around the high end of 4ft. Gender: He doesn't have the RAM for a gender. Pronouns: He/It Orientation: Asexual Panromantic. He loves his trash girlfriend. Post Game: He got married to the girlfriend Clover and Ceroba made for him. Neither of them personally wanted kids so they made a trash dog out of spare parts. Eventually Axis ran out of battery and or was too damaged from sitting inactive for so long that he broke down. He was thankful that his trash gf and trash dog didn't leave his side in his final moments. Somewhere in the abandoned lab, he's sitting, holding her hand with their dog at his feet. They'll probably stay like that, undisturbed, for a long time. Opinions: He's a really cute character. I sort of wish we had more time with him instead of seeing him as a late game enemy. Very silly. 3/5.

Ceroba (I'm going to get turned into a sandwich for this) Personality Headcanons: She smokes out of a cigarette holder. One of the really long ones. She only started smoking after Chujin died. She has a lot of baggage she tends to just push away and not ever address even when it affects her and others around her negatively. She has a really strong victim complex and while yeah, she hasn't exactly been dealt the best hand, she also tends to make things worse for herself on purpose to get sympathy from other people, as to why she picked up smoking after Chujin died. She used to be a model but quit modelling when Chujin was dying. After her husband passed she tended to be neglectful of Kanako until she found her in Chujin's home lab and the rest is history. She tends to take advantage of people's generosity, especially Starlo's, she's always been like this but the habit only got worse over time. She does genuinely feel like she has nothing despite having friends because she believes her own shallow feelings towards her friends are mutual when that isn't the case. She's in her early 40s ~40-43. Physical Headcanons: She has a mombod (more body fat in her lower half, flatter chest, smaller arms but wider legs) and she can work with it. I know she canonically wears a bow in her hair but I like to interpret it as a bandana. Her hair is usually messy. Even if she doesn't have the energy to get well dressed or style her hair she ALWAYS puts on eyeliner and makes it look sleek and demanding so everyone knows she's not someone they want to fuck with, with just a single glare. She's ~ 6'02". Gender: Cis Female Pronouns: She/Her Orientation: Bisexual. Was always kind of curious about polyamory but never enough to have a talk with her husband about it. Post Game: Asgore was really thankful that she had collected a human soul and gave her all the credit, which she happily took. Martlet and Starlo didn't want that on their names. She had a short lived fame once again during which she seemed to be doing better, thankful to be back in the spotlight, even if it was a small one. But after a falling out with her long time best friend she began to live as a recluse, rarely stepping out of her home. Opinions: I do NOT like her and I find it really hard to sympathize with her character. Her writing? Solid. I like that I don't like her. I liked that when I was watching a playthrough I was screaming at my TV because I actually kind of hate her. I actually think she was an excellent twist villain. I ADORED her character at first like "YES!! Country gal's kick ass! She's a bad bitch." But yeah uh... after finding out what she did to both her child and then did the same thing to Clover I kind of lost my love for her. Which is fine because the twist was good and when I looked back there was a lot of foreshadowing. 5/5. Fantastic writing.

Chujin Personality Headcanons: Had some kind of anxiety disorder. Probably also OCD. He HATED humans with a burning passion. Like to a dangerous degree. He used to go on rambles about how angry humanity made him to Ceroba but one time one of his angry rambles frightened Kanako because she thought they were fighting. So, he stopped talking about it when she was home. He wanted to do everything in his power to protect his daughter. He'd be turning in his grave if he found out what Ceroba did to their daughter. He had several of her drawings/paintings/crafts in his cubicle. He passed away ~35-36. Physical Headcanons: I don't have many. Short king. Probably like ~5'03". Gender: Said male on legal forms but had a whole gender crisis he never got to figure out due to passing away before he could find a comfortable label. Pronouns: He/Him but was experimenting with they/them. Orientation: Bisexual Post Game: N/A Opinions: GOOD background character. I don't agree with a lot of his methods but that's fine. He was written so well I actually felt able to peer into his life through the limited scenes we got with him. 5/5.

Clover (HELP TUMBLR GOT RID OF YELLOW TEXT???) Personality Headcanons: Had a neglectful mother and a father who was probably abusive in multiple ways. They either lived in a trailer or a small mobile home. They're from the southern USA. They have an obsession with Old Westerns (from ~50s-70s) and Detective shows (from the 90s). When they decided to go looking for the missing kids they couldn't decide if they wanted to be a cowboy and go into the underground shoot-em-up style or go dressed up like a detective and be all cool and casual about collecting evidence. They decided to be both and call it being "A Cowtective." They're around the age of ~9-12. At home they would usually sleep on the couch. If their father was drunk and passed out on the couch they'd just sleep on the floor because they weren't allowed in their parent's room. They probably say "fuck" a lot. Starlo was trying to get them to cut back on swearing. Probably either a December Capricorn or a September Libra. Physical Headcanons: Freckles. Brown eyes. Gapped teeth. ~5". Tends to pick scabs so they have a few small scars here and there from relentless picking. Gender: Nonbinary Pronouns: They/She Orientation: Lesbian, but probably would have eventually picked a different label if they had the chance to grow up. Post Game: N/A Opinions: I actually really like that Clover has both personality but is also vague enough for the player to put themself in their boots. This is what really makes for a terrific silent main character. I would have liked to get to know Clover a little bit more tbh. 4/5.

Dalv Personality Headcanons: I don't actually have much on Dalv. He probably likes Funyuns and watching true crime. Probably in his 20s. He's about the same age Kanako would be if she grew up. Maybe a little older but not by much. Physical Headcanons: I like drawing him with completely black eyes. I don't see it a lot but I like it. ~5'08" Gender: Don't Have One Pronouns: Don't Have One Orientation: Multisexual of some sort Post Game: At some point somehow, word probably got to him about what happened to his friend that vanished (I'm with the theory squad that says his friend was Kanako). He get's REALLY pissed off at Ceroba and cuts ties. He doesn't really leave Snowdin much but it's fine because, carrying the memories of Clover, he makes a lot of new friends and even becomes pretty popular in the small town. RAREPAIR: He starts going out with Martlet. Opinions: To me he felt kind of lack luster. And as the first plot-important character we meet in the game, he didn't really rope me in. He felt kind of like a last minute decision. I dropped the game a few months ago because I didn't feel pulled in until I finished it this May. However, his name is vlad backwards which gets points. 2/5 Keed Vampeer.

Part 2 ,, Part 3

[mapleleafsunset]

warrior cats lgbt headcanons

I'm bored so here's my lgbt headcanons of every warrior cats protagonist!! also some other cats who i think are important in the first arc bc of how few protags we get

Prophecies Begin

Firestar : pansexual, he/they, cis Greystripe : bisexual (strong female pref), he/him, cis Ravenpaw : Gay, he/him but tries out bug/bugs, unlabelled gender

New Prophecy

Squirrelflight : queer, she/he, might be a trans man if she thought about it long enough Brambleclaw : the only one that i think is cishet. uncertain whether he is cishetallo or not though, he might be asexual spectrum Tawnypelt : t4t queer, she/it, intersex and transfem Feathertail : asexual lithoromantic lesbian, she/ae/bright, girlflux Stormfur : unlabelled, any pronouns (he/him pref), cis man Crowfeather : Trixic, they/them, nonbinary Leafpool : Bisexual, she/her, cis Power of Three

Lionblaze : cishetallo Hollyleaf : asexual greyromantic lesbian, she/they, demi-girl Jayfeather : oriented aroace gay, star/they/he, doesn't care to think about his gender but uses moonguardian, moonboy and starryghostic.

Omen of the Stars

Dovewing : Omnisexual (male pref) and probably aroace spectrum but she is scared of acknowledging that, she/her, cis Ivypool : Sapphic demiromantic, she/it/claw, nonbinary girl Flametail (he counts <3) : Aroace, he/him, trans man Vision of Shadows

Alderheart : Pansexual, he/him, cis Needletail : Heterosexual? aromantic, she/her, transmasc nonbinary girl Twigbranch : Asexual unlabelled, they/she, gender questioning Violetshine : Lesbian, she/ze, trans girl

The Broken Code Shadowsight : Asexual nebularomantic gay, he/it/they/xe, agender Rootspring : Asexual heteroromantic, he/him, unlabelled Bristlefrost : Bisexual (no pref), any pronouns, intersex A Starless Clan Nightheart : Lesbian, she/her, trans girl Sunbeam : Lesbian, he/they, butch (only comes out after leaving ShadowClan) Frostpaw : Lesbian with the worst case of comphet you've ever seen (do you notice a theme with this arc.), they/she but probably only keeping the she/her to make others happy, genderqueer

Dawn of the Clans Grey Wing : Asexual aromantic, he/they, cis Clear Sky : Heterosexual, he/him, trans man but he's probably the sort of trans man who tells other trans people that they aren't valid because they present differently Thunder : I wish I cared about thunder enough to have thoughts on him but he is the beigest character i have ever read about maybe only second to lionblaze i dont care about him his girlfriend fucked his dad why did she do that he creates the most boring clan ever and does literally nothing grey wing and clear sky are so interesting then you have to read a whole book about this man and i actually can't remember anything except from his girlfriend who deserves so much better than him why is he here he's so boring River Ripple (he's a protag to me) : Aromantic asexual, any pronouns, either genderfluid or agender

Other random characters i want to share my headcanons for because I feel particularly strongly about them

Rowanstar : Queer, he/him, trans man (obviously) Puddleshine : Demisexual homoromantic, xe/xem but they/them is okay, nonbinary Tall Shadow : Lesbian, he/she, views lesbian as her gender identity in a lot of ways Mousefur : Aromantic asexual, she/her, dont know about her gender Runningwind : Aromantic asexual, they/he, demiboy Redtail : Gay, he/him, trans man Sol : Queer, any pronouns, trans masc pangender Fallen Leaves : Sapphic, he/him, demigender Sleekwhisker : Lesbian, she/her, trans and she won't clarify in what way Mothwing : Lesbian, she/her, trans woman Cinderheart : Bisexual, she/they, girl to the left Cinderpelt : Bisexual, they/she, girl to the right Snowfur : Gay, he/him, trans man. PLEASE someone appreciate trans man snowfur he's so important to me Blackstar : Gay (bear), he/him, cis Fernsong : Going through every single gender and sexuality crisis everyday. Ended up settling on abrosexual, pronoun fluid and genderfluid but even then that might not stick. Ivypool somehow always knows what pronouns to use even if Fernsong hasn't told her yet Tallstar : Gay, he/wind, cis Jake : Pansexual, he/him and SO many neopronouns, cis Barley : Gay, he/him, trans man Darkstripe : the most toxic gay man you have ever met Hawkfrost : the second most toxic gay man you have ever met

this is SO many oh my god. i was planning to do a short list and now there's so many anyway i could go on for longer

[meanautisticenbian]

I er uh revamped the main clone’s ref sheets lol

Extra info:

Anne:

- has a brother named Mark Read (cloned from Mary Read)

- raised by a single Irish immigrant father, they have a great relationship but he was kinda pissed when she shaved half her head

- anarchist, if that wasn’t clear already

- Doesn’t really have anything against communism he just doesn’t want Hat hanging out with Che

- The only person who isn’t terrified of Mary

- voiceclaim is vi from arcane

Mary:

- rich family

- kinda sweet but it really depends

- Almost completely shrouded in mystery

- voiceclaim is Raven Black

Hat:

- I’m gonna be honest with y’all, all these other OCs were made just for fun, Hat’s the only one with an actual character arc (if you can’t already tell)

- bc very little is known about her clone mom so she knows pretty much everything there is to know about her and gets FLABBERGASTED when other clones say they don’t know literally everything about their clone parents

- sorta bitter about other clones who’s clone parents are generally well known and have familiar faces, as the clone of a lesser known figure who was almost completely erased from history, but he ESPECIALLY beefs with Che Guevara’s clone (friend’s OC) until they have that whole enemies to lovers thing

- top of their class in history and literature, completely sucks at math and science

- unlike her clone mother, has GOD AWFUL social skills (whenever she meets someone new and feels like she might talk with them again she spends hours researching their clone parent just to infodump about them, most of the time she never meets them again so she just has this random pool of pointless knowledge floating around in her head)

- has at least 800 books about ancient Egypt including a signed copy of The Woman who would be King

- sometimes goes by Maatkare and is mostly called this as a baby/pet name

- has two moms, one is the clone of Nefertiti

- voiceclaim is Nimona

Willy:

- casual gamer and lowkey theater kid

- hates almost everyone

- very difficult for him to like someone but it’s possible

- unironically a great singer I promise like Corey Taylor is SHIVERING

- non oriented aroace

- once wrote an entire 10 page class essay on why Braveheart is the worst movie ever made (he got a c)

- Voiceclaim is Bojack Horseman

[bilesproblems]

Common mistakes made when arguing with exclus (and how to respond properly)

Hi mspec lesbians today I'm gonna talk about some things that exclus say often, the common responses that get nowhere, and how to properly respond (all joking btw)

#1: "Lesbians can't be attracted to men. If you're attracted to men in any capacity, you can't be a lesbian"

Incorrect reply ❌: Actually, I'm not attracted to men, I just recognize my attraction to multiple feminine and neutrally aligned genders as mspec

Correct reply ✅: (HEARTS, DIAMONDS,) I CAN DO ANYTHING!

Exclus don't care about reason. Make deltarune references instead. Especially if you are an mspec lesbian attracted to men

#2: "I just don't get it though how does that work"

Incorrect reply ❌: *An actual detailed response explaining mspec lesbians*

Correct reply ✅: The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a Multistage Aerobic Capacity Test...

There are dozens of resources on mspec lesbians. This reply is especially helpful for when you've already tried explaining. They just won't get it if they don't wanna.

#3: "Maybe lesbian USED to include nonexclusive attraction, but that's in the past now!"

Incorrect reply ❌: While some bi people did choose to leave themselves, a lot of us were forced out by Gold Star lesbians instead of just by natural language progression. If you guys wanted or needed your own spaces, you should have made your own. I have a right to be here.

Correct reply ✅: When single shines the triple sun, what was sundered and undone, shall be whole, the two made one, by Gelfling hand, or else by none.

When you explain things to exclusuonists, they plug their ears and ignore what you said. When you say cryptic shit, they have to think.

#4: "Why do you have to make everything so complicated with your identity?"

Incorrect reply ❌: I do not feel a single label properly explains my identity, and I feel all these labels fit my experience.

Correct reply ✅: Gotta catch 'em all

"Abro lesbian, I choose you!" *throws PokeLGBallT*

#5: "Just pick one!"

Incorrect response ❌: I can't just pick one. These labels all have a meaning to me and picking one feels like I'm picking between parts of myself.

Correct reply ✅: I don't have to. I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. Vice Principal Nero likes me best and there's a special beef and bean burrito with a little ribbon on it just for me.

You don't have to just pick a single label. No one fits neatly into one little box, and those of us who like boxes anyway are building our box forts. You don't owe an explanation to exclus beyond "I don't want to."

#6: "Liking women and nonbinary people doesn't count as mspec!"

Incorrect reply ❌: Yeah it does. Way to be transphobic and biphobic in one sentence.

Correct reply ✅: I consider that a dignified argument. Not really, it was actually quite pathetic. *aggressive banjo sounds*

Self explanatory why this reason sucks. 2+ genders = mspec. Even if those 2 genders are girl and demigirl, you can consider yourself mspec.

#7: "Mspec lesbians harm real lesbians and erase the meaning of the word lesbian"

Incorrect reply ❌: I am literally just existing

Correct reply ✅: Oogalie boogalie bitch

You can't fix stupid and convince them we don't hurt anyone. Embrace being the destroyer of lesbianism.

#8: "Just say homosexual/homoromantic if you use the SAM instead of lesbian, because lesbian is exclusive to people not attracted to men in any way"

Incorrect reply ❌: Not only do you not really mean that, because you actually only draw the line at sexual and romantic attraction, but that's the most ridiculous level of gatekeeping. No other lgbt label in the world has a requirement on both sexual AND romantic attraction except aroace and other -rose labels, but those are specifically combos FOR romantic and sexual attraction. No one should have to call themselves homo- instead of lesbian just because their romantic orientation is different than their sexual orientation. Plus that definition means every aroace woman and nonbinary person is a lesbian.

Correct reply ✅: How about no. *then you waddle away, waddle waddle waddle.*

Again, you owe nobody an explanation. You don't have to. Just say no.

#9: "Mspec lesbian labels contribute to real lesbians being harassed, assaulted, and (r-word that I won't type until I learn how to censor)"

Incorrect reply ❌: You're beyond hope. Someone who would assault someone either doesn't care about their orientation or is doing it specifically because they think the person isn't attracted to them and needs to be fixed. It is their own entitlement, ego, and lack of care for other people that leads to that happening, not teens identifying as bi lesbians. Let's pretend all straight men think all lesbians will like men. Not even straight women like every man they see. No one will claim "well because I am a lesbian who likes men, you now have to date men." That's the single stupidest thing a person could ever think. You'd be smarter unironically believing 2 + 2 = 5, the Earth is flat, and MH370 was hijacked by Russians than believing unironically that a single lesbian who doesn't like men at all would be forced to date men because a different lesbian did. Some lesbians like nonbinary people and some only like women, and the ones who only like women aren't forced to date nonbinary people. You single handedly bring down the average intelligence of all humanity by a significant margin.

Correct reply ✅: For a clownfish, you really aren't that funny.

Anyone stupid enough to believe this can't be reasoned with and they will hopefully never be in charge of anything. Don't waste your energy.

I can't think of a 10th so that's all folks

[monsieuroverlord]

Spoilers for latest Marvel Love Unlimited Infinity Comic #43 - #48

I heard they had Gwenpool come out as aroace and I wanted to wait until the whole thing came out before reacting to it.

Now it’s all out, so here we go!

Pros:

-- art is stellar, the composition lends itself very well to an infinity comic. expressions are expressive and on-point -- suits itself well for Gwenpool

-- Gwenpool definitely has baby-ace vibes. (will explain more under the cut)

-- narrative voice is more on the light-hearted side in the beginning. It seems like the intent is to not take it so seriously at first

-- Julie Power is an absolute sweetheart here, incredibly understanding and doesn’t blame Gwen at all for being asexual

-- final 2 issues (#47 and #48) are definitely the strongest in terms of narration and introducing the reader to asexual/aromantic orientations 

Cons:

-- not that I need this to be an exposition on all the nuances of asexuality, but some things could’ve been worded A LOT better or expanded upon

-- I know Gwenpool is supposed to have reality-shaping powers, but some of  her actions are a bit too manipulative for my taste (more under the cut)

Spoilers (warning, it gets LONG):

Issue #43 Summary: Gwen stages a meet-cute with Wither (from New X-Men) by purposely bumping into him. She’s getting into the “forbidden romance” trope, like Rogue and Gambit, because she thinks he can’t touch her. They start gardening together, and turns out he actually has control of his power, so the idealized romance in her head is ruined. 

Issue #44 Summary: Gwen has a new plan. Create love triangle between her, Wither, and Elixir. She purposefully woos both of them (kissing each) to create tension and perhaps a fight between them. Her plan is foiled when they refuse to fight and talk it out instead, solidifying their friendship. Gwen feels terrible about even putting them in this situation in the first place. She leaves, immediately gets into trouble, and is promptly saved by Julie Power of the Power Pack, getting butterflies in her stomach.

Issue #45 Summary: Gwen and Julie go on a proper date at a diner. They have nice chat about Gwen’s reality shifting powers and how she feels about them. Julie talks about her current dating life and why she’s currently single and went back to college. Gwen realizes that maybe because she dropped out of High School, she never had that “moving forward in life” experience. She thought she might be bisexual, but never really acted on it. Then she realizes she won’t impress Julie by being an unemployed drop-out.  She makes an excuse to go to the bathroom. switches reality around to get her High School diploma and enroll herself in college. Julie asks her out, and after some awkwardness, Gwen agrees.

Issue #46 Summary: It opens with Julie and Gwen having a heart-to-heart talk about the pressure of life expectations. Gwen compliments Julie, saying some stuff she “truly means this time” instead of manipulation like Wither, Elixir, and even Quinten Quire (from the West Coast Avengers days) They kiss, and Gwen reassures herself that she’s doing all the things she’s supposed to! She’s doing a relationship properly. There’s a sequence of them dating -- Gwen is taking college class in game design, Julie gets a pixie cut, it’s all very domestic and non-problematic. There’s even super hero shenanigans thrown in the mix, where Julie and Gwen work well as a team together.   Gwen reassures herself that everything will be fine as long as she keeps the butterflies going and that if she tries hard enough, she can make it work. Julie wants to take things a step further (as consenting young adults often do in the romance genre) and Gwen tries to convince herself that she definitely wants this. Except, she doesn’t want to have sex. The issue ends with her bursting into tears and telling Julie to stop.

Issue #47 Summary: The issue opens with Gwen coming cleaning about her High School experience -- the solid group of friends that she had, and how she ended up feeling left behind as they all started dating and she just “didn’t get it.” Depressed, she dropped out of high school and just kind of drifted. Julie is a supportive, listening ear, and reassures Gwen that she can handle being told “no” if Gwen isn’t ready. Gwen states that she just wanted to make Julie happy and they hug. Julie asks if Gwen actually wanted to kiss her closest friend, Alice, and Gwen reveals she doesn’t WANT to kiss anyone. A little irked by this, Julie asks why didn’t Gwen just say something? Gwen says she like Julie in her way, so she figured it can’t be so bad. It’s romance! like in the movies! Gwen admits that maybe if she just kept pursuing it, even faking some stuff, she’d make Julie happy and all would be well. Julie disagrees. That kind of connection is very important to her, and she deserves to be fulfilled. Gwen says she knows and that she just wanted to make Julie happy. Julie interrupts, stating that Gwen deserves to be fulfilled too, and suggests that Gwen may be asexual. Which Gwen hadn’t considered. 

Issue #48 Summary -- the conclusion: This issues opens with some great visual references to classic comic book covers and pop culture. Julie snaps Gwen out of her spiral. There’s the classic asexual comparison to a protozoa (’cause they reproduce asexually, and that’s the classic American education introduction to asexuality as a concept). Julie, being the bisexual icon that she is, takes Gwen to the college Pride Club and introduces her to their ace rep. Ronnie, the rep, is demisexual and gives Gwen the run-down of the basics. Gwen gets very excited when she learns its a spectrum. There’s an overview of the romantic attractions (I personally would’ve like to see more explanation of that, but i digress) Gwen goes on to explain that she understands “sexy” as a concept, but doesn’t really get it and expresses her desire for a queerplatonic relationship. There is a brief mention of “some aces like sex, some don’t” and Gwen breaks up with Julie. Gwen meets a group of aces, they have a fun chat. Gwen borrows a pair of flags for the avatar icon pic. The end. 

My Thoughts:

Like I said, art was solid and flowed really well. Very good for a digital comic book setting. not really any thoughts there.

Issues #43 to #45 were okay, but i felt was a little shallow for the set-up. 

As mentioned previously, they did a decent job with setting up Gwen’s baby ace vibes. Initially, she follows a very formulaic approach to romance, feeling like that’s what she SUPPOSED to do, that’s part of becoming an adult, that’s what people expect, that's what happens in movies, comic books, general entertainment, etc. Using her knowledge and her favorite tropes, she pursues that in her way. It does play on the trope stereotypes really well in a humorous manner. 

However, the execution was a little sketchy at times. I mean, especially with issue #44, she PURPOSEFULLY tried to cause a fight between a couple of friends. She intentionally manipulated a situation for her own goals. I mean, I can related to her reasoning/feelings a bit, but her actions don’t vibe with me.

Same with issue #45, she intentionally manipulates reality to make herself more desirable to Julie Power. At least this round, she’s a bit more honest with her feelings, but again she’s using her powers for her own selfish goals.

I do also get the impression that especially the first couple issues are not intended to be super serious, playing off a couple of tropes, some reality-bending shenanigans ensue, no-real-long-term-harm-done-so-we-can-laugh-about-it-type nonsense. But also, with intended goal and conclusion, I just don’t feel it sets up asexuality in the best light at times. 

Like I said, the narration is VERY strong. I do relate heavily to the expectations that Gwen puts on herself and WHY she wants to pursue her fairytale romance. The narration sets up the whole “feeling a certain way without understanding why” thing very well. There’s even a comment on Gwen thinking she was just bisexual at first. 

It also illustrates the internal struggle of “maybe if I try hard enough, the feelings will come later” type thing. Something I certainly before I knew what asexuality was. I mean, I used to force myself to have crushes even though i didn’t really get it. And I’ve been on dates with people I get along with. But I sure as hell didn’t play mind games with people in order to accomplish the romance expectations I set for myself. Like I said, I DO relate to Gwen’s internal dialogue and I think it sets up her blossoming exploration of her own sexuality, but some things could be improved upon. 

(apologies if I’m harping too much on this, gaslighting and manipulation are a bit of a sore spot for me. and “feeling bad” about it just isn’t enough for me)

 Reality-bending powers definitely lend itself to the moral dilemma/ethics exploration really well, so you have to be real careful with the kind of story you want to tell. I don’t expect every character to be morally pure and I do feel that Gwen may have thought she had the best of intentions -- as in, if she sets it just right, her partner will be happy and it’ll all work out in the end. But, I can’t help but feel like it COULD be read as asexuals are manipulative and unfeeling people, you know? 

Though I do understand it in terms of “doing what you can to make it work for others” type of thing. Like, she WANTS Julie to be happy, so she’s doing what she can to make herself the best partner she can be, even at the cost of her own feelings, comfort, and happiness. It’s certainly better than the fiasco with Wither and Elixir.

 Issue #46 is where it really ramps up the asexuality reveal. A lot of narration centers around Gwen basically trying to convince herself that she’s doing exactly what she’s supposed to do, so everything is all good! Then it comes to a head when she doesn’t actually want to have sex. Which likely means that Gwen is on the sex-repulsed side of things 

Which I mean, great, nothing wrong with that, but like me, not all asexuals are repulsed by sex and the whole “aces just hate sex” thing tends to be an over-simplifying trope in a lot of media, so I have mixed feelings on using that as Gwen’s “breaking point.” We don’t get to the nuances of asexuality vs. aromanticism until the conclusion.

However, I do realize that sex repulsion is a relatively common experience among aces, especially aroaces. Don’t get get me wrong, I do think the depiction is accurate as hell, especially for one first discovering themselves as a sex-pulsed aroace.

Issue #48 does a great job in reiterating the common stereotypes and misconceptions surrounding asexuality. For example, protozoa and asexual reproduction. and that being asexual means you’ll “be sad and alone forever.” To a questioning person, I think it really serves as a great intro into what asexuality actually is and alleviating common fears that the person may have heard before. Very well executed.  

One small thing I have a gripe with, is referring to allosexuals as “people who seem to let their hormones determine who they spend their lives with.”

I mean, I get in terms of the way I don’t really get crushes the way an allosexual does, but its VERY VERY oversimplified. As a biromantic, I’ve had different kinds of crushes -- very rarely, and definitely more of the romantic kind when it happens (don’t even get me started on squishes). But also, it the LGBTQ+ community, there is already a lot of discrimination from both external forces and internal forces. I do see this as very tongue-in-cheek personally, but I expect this to be misinterpreted a bit. (I’ve already seen some circles of Twitter being a little ornery about it.) 

But at the same time, I get it. There’s only so much you can do with limited space, and I personally see this intended as a cheeky and very joke-y reference to sexual attraction IN GENERAL as a foreign concept. 

In general, Julie Power is a superstar here. The epitome of bi-ace solidarity. I don’t like the fact she had broken up with her partner off-panel in order to serve the story here, but she is characterized as a sheer powerhouse of selfless understanding and being true to yourself.

But I would’ve liked to see an apology to Elixir and Wither. Not that she has to apologize for being asexual, but she really manipulated the situation and intentionally tried to set them up to hate each other for a fantasy situation. 

Anyway, these are just my own thoughts as a biromantic ace myself. I first learned the term asexuality at a sex-ed/BDSM mixer in college when I was nineteen, so I been through the struggle, lmao.

Obviously, media is never perfect, and I am optimistic this is (hopefully) a step in the right direction for ace representation. Despite my concerns, I’m happy for the increasing representation and I hope more nuances and more asexual character stories can be told moving forward. 

I do think overall, it’s a very well done story and introduces asexuality in a relatively easy-to-grasp light. The set-up could’ve been done a bit better, but the conclusion was very satisfying. I do think all of the pros outweigh the cons here. 

 And I hope Gwen’s story can be expanded on more in the future -- I get that there’s only so much you can tell with a limited number of issues and I hope we can expand upon it in the future. 

If you’ve read this far, thanks and here’s the photo dump:

[bbboar]

I knew going to 2 weddings and seeing ppl in love would make me feel a certain kind of way about being on the aroace spectrum that id have to repress but being asked point blank why i dont date by someone who has been nosy about that shit before,,,, it rly did a number on me tonight fellas ngl

Bcs i didnt want to have to explain my orientation and out mysekf, I said "I dont date bcs I dont want to" to shut her down but the truth is a little more complicated,,,

while I'm happy being aroace and being single, sometimes I do think it would be nice if I could have someone who was My person. But it's not so easy, is it?

What sucks is that in the past I have felt that instant connection or attraction to people but aside from it being rly rare for me, when it does happen theyre either already taken, don't swing my way, or I think "why even bother when I know the aro bit or the ace bit will either get in the way or put people off".

Ugh idk I'm just frustrated. At having to explain myself and lack of interest in relationships, at knowing people won't understand that it's complicated,at how some people think my orientation is up for debate and also bcs hey!!! Sometimes I do want a partner!! And I hate to admit it!!!