#favorable to -repulsed spectrums

[clouded-void]

It always gives me whiplash when people describe oriented aroace as a “contradictory” identity. How is being an oriented aroace contradictory?

Most “contradictory” identities play with society’s expectations of X group which is honestly amazing. Aroace doesn’t mean “never feels attraction”. How is being oriented “contradicting” being aroace?

[aceoffangirls]

I just want to talk for a moment how little people understand about Asexuality and for that matter Aromanticism out side of the aspec community.

I was looking at the books in Kmart today and saw one to do with LGBTQ+ and wanted to see if they included Asexuality and what they said about only to see this.

Now I don’t know if I’m having a Karen moment but the way they define Asexuality was basically someone who “do not feel like having sex with others” instead of someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction. Asexuality is about the attraction aspect, not the action.

Asexuality is such a broad and expansive orientation not only for the micro labels including demi, flux/fluid, grey, litho, abro, ficto etc, but also the spectrum within that from being sex positive/favourable to neutral /indifferent to negative/repulsed. Adding on to this is the romantic orientation whether it be hetero, homo, Aro, Aro spec, bi, pan etc and the different types of attraction including alterous and queer platonic.

The idea that ace people are simply people who don’t desire sex is completely misunderstanding and misinterpreting what it means to be asexual and can lead discourse within the ace community especially to those who are sex favourable. You see this a lot in media with few of the asexual characters not being interested in sex and that is what makes them asexual instead of the lack of sexual attraction.

Sorry for my rant and Karen moment, just kinda got annoyed.

[isabellascarlett1]

Happy Ace Week to:

- BIPOC Aces

- Neurodivergent Aces

- Sex repulsed Aces

- Sex favorable Aces

- Sex indifferent Aces

- Lesbian Aces

- Gay Aces

- AlloAces

- AroAces

- Aces who have sex

- Aces in Queerplatonic relationships

- Non-monogamous Aces

- Hypersexual Aces

- Mspec Aces

- Trans Aces

- Non-binary Aces

- All Aces 💗💗

[prince-liest]

I remember Viv saying a few years ago that Alastor is definitely *somewhere* on the aro spectrum but also that his views on romance are extremely unconventional? He's not inclined toward it, he feels no need for it, but he'd be open to entering a romantic relationship- *only* if he's confident that the other person genuinely loves Alastor more than Alastor loves himself. Which Alastor doesn't think is possible.

No idea where this stands in relation to official show canon but I think about it a lot.

I haven't heard that in particular before, but I have heard the line that she basically didn't officially declare him as aromantic specifically because she didn't want to put off shippers, though to me personally, that basically sounds like, "Well, he is, but also, if you close your eyes then nobody can see you, you know?" I've also heard that she said he's personally under the impression that he's just waiting for the right woman, which just seems really amusing and on-point to the aromantic experience, haha.

That said, my stance on him being aroace is pretty well-explained here, and the tl;dr is that I think he is pretty clearly both aro and ace based on what we've seen on screen in the show, nevermind meta contributions from Viv or any other artists or VAs.

From a more fandom-oriented perspective, I personally enjoy writing him as, like, fully capable of getting something out of a relationship, even if he himself doesn't experience romantic feelings. I write a lot of radiostatic, and the way that I like to phrase how I think that works is "Vox is obsessed with Alastor, and Alastor is obsessed with the fact that Vox is obsessed with him." So not necessarily him being certain that Vox loves him more than he loves himself, but certainly still pandering to that ego.

[scretladyspider]

saying that the aces who are sex favorable/neutral/have sex are treated like the only “valid” aces is just

wow

…no

I have thoughts and experiences and thoughts based on those experiences

here I go

sex repulsed and averse aces treat sex favorable/neutral aces like we’re just trying to appeal to allosexuals, like talking about our experiences is inherently harmful, like our very existence is harmful because they get told that somethings wrong with them and as a result become very defensive of their aceness — but instead of taking that anger at being constantly dismissed out on dismantling allonormativity and compulsory heterosexuality, the framework and expectations that harm them… they say that if you say “hey I’m an ace and I have sex, we all have different relationships with having sex, some of us don’t, some of us do”, that we’re saying that we’re the better aces and are going out of our way to appeal to allosexuals at the cost of how our sexuality intertwines with our personhood, that we’re trying to appeal to allosexuals, and it might make allosexuals think maybe they can have sex with any ace actually, even tho we never told them that and specified it was just our experience (because we all know all allosexuals are mindless sex machines who only think about sex and are never capable of respecting boundaries or asexuality, no sexless relationship between an allo and an ace could or has ever healthily existed) (that in parentheses was sarcasm)

allosexuals treat sex favorable/neutral aces like we’re not really ace, like by having, or god forbid, enjoying sex, we are invalidating our sexuality, like asexuality and celibacy are the same thing and therefore we’re not really ace, and any acceptance comes at the price of respect and understanding of who we actually are, and (often) don’t accept us for who we are because “you’re not like those other people”, so to be acceptable means again paying the price of constant insults, invalidation, and depending on the situation, much worse stuff actually

so we’re left in this weird place where we know personally it’s important to talk about it because we didn’t know what was wrong with us for so long but then when we do, our own community acts like saying “I exist too” out loud is purposely harmful to them, like we’re trying to hurt them, like it’s personal and vindictive and not just “I also exist, just differently from how you exist”

we go to allosexuals and say “hey I exist” and are met with “no you don’t” “not really” “oh, you just want to invade the queer community” “you wanna be oppressed” “you need to stop taking antidepressants” “you’re just a woman/feminine” etc etc, and depending on who/where we come out it may not be safe, and may even be traumatizing if it goes badly, a risk that is always taken when coming out, but surely our sex favorability is just to try to appeal to allos, that couldn’t be who we are

but if allosexuals who are acephobic start to loudly say “oh asexuals just want the right to not have sex, that’s not a sexuality”, THEN all of the sudden it’s “that’s not what asexuality is, some aces have sex!” and the same it’s sex repulsed/averse aces saying it when the community is being put down, all of the sudden we’re important and our stories matter and our perspectives matter and help challenge misconceptions about asexuality

which is it?

Why are we only allowed to say we exist when asexuality as a whole is being put down?

why is the rest of the time if we say “hey some aces have sex, we exist too” harming you, but then when acephobes take a swing at all of us, we’re suddenly important and it’s good to acknowledge the spectrum of asexuality and then it’s okay to say there’s a spectrum of sexual attraction and of sex favorability

why are you mad at us, not the structures and people and sex Ed and purity culture that says none of us are allowed to exist?

if we can’t fit in with other aces and are only valid in the eyes of sex repulsed/averse aces when we can be used to prove a point, and we can’t fit in with allos because we’re invalidated and treated like we don’t exist while still having an ace experience

where the fuck are we supposed to go?

you’re mad at the wrong thing; you’re mad at the wrong people

aces who have sex, aces who like sex, aces who rarely/conditionally experience sexual attraction, are not out to hurt you by saying “I do also exist”

we are here with you trying to find a place to fit in

I’d like to think you’d understand that but it seems like there’s a part of the sex repulsed/averse ace community determined to lock the door on a part of your own community

and I dunno

it just puts a bad taste in my mouth

[ndplatypus]

Dear sex favorable aces and allo people, you are not actually being kind and open when you argue against every single ace character being sex repulsed.

As a sex neutral ace on the aromatic spectrum it actually infuriates me that every single time we get a scrap of representation with an ace/aro character both allos and sex favorable aces literally get mad when sex repulsed aces or non dating aros ask that some characters can actually represent them.

Guess what sex favorable aces, you actually aren’t the only type of aces on the spectrum you preach about. Sex repulsed aces do in fact have a right to be upset when EVERY single ace character is still treated sexually by the fandom. You are actively pushing out part of that spectrum you preach about when you only ever want your half of the spectrum to be represented.

Yes, I get it, asexuality is a spectrum and to hc every ace character as sex repulsed isn’t accurate, but do you have ANY idea how it feels to have literally every single fucking ace character be hc as sex favorable? Like how are you going to argue about a spectrum when you literally won’t acknowledge a huge chunk of it.

The fact an ace person literally can’t even say “hey maybe don’t sexualize this ace character” without y’all going fucking rabid is so gross to me.

It’s so fucking disingenuous to talk about a spectrum but get mad when part of that spectrum wants to feel represented.

Why can’t we have a single god damn asexual character who isn’t sexualized.

Y’all treat the spectrum as a loophole to justify sexualizing Ace characters to satisfy your sex fantasies and your ships and I’m frankly tired of it.

It’s so frustrating when other aces do it to. You want everyone to acknowledge sex favorable/sex neutral aces but won’t allow a sex repulsed ace to exist for a damn moment.

STOP TALKING ABOUT A SPECTRUM WHEN YOU REFUSE TO LET PART OF THAT SPECTRUM TO FEEL REPRESENTED

Just admit you don’t actually give a fuck about ace people or a spectrum when all you really want to do is sexualize these characters for your own enjoyment.

[snailcubezz]

yes aromanticism is a spectrum and i am So happy that is an accepted fact on most of this site. Cod i wish people would stop only bringing that up in reference to aro characters "still being shippable"

[merely-a-caricature]

The Sex Stances

Hello, y’all! I know it been a few months since I’ve really posted anything substantial, but I’m back! School and other extracurriculars just made it tough to balance posting information content while juggling that and still trying to pursue my hobbies. With that introduction out of the way, I’m going be talking about the sex stances today!

Sex stance refers to your own, personal opinions and feelings towards sex. This is not to be confused with one’s political stance which I have discussed in a post of mine about the difference between sex-favorable and sex-positive. This can include one’s feelings about, sex, certain sexual activities, and simply sex as a concept. While these stances are used primarily by those on the asexual spectrum, they are not limited to them and can be used regardless of sexuality. The romantic equivalent is romance stances which follow the same pattern.

There are many common sex stances, the first of which I’ll be covering is sex-favorable.

Now, I have talked about sex-favorability before in the post I linked above. I will still outline it here, but you can check out that other post if you really want to dig into to the difference between sex-favorable and sex-positive.

Sex-favorable is a term that describes someone who is favorable to the concept of sexual interaction or enjoys sex. People who are sex favorable may enjoy sexual content, enjoy sex or other sexual acts or seek out sexual relationships, whether that be they like the intimacy sex provides in a romantic relationship or they like the sensation.

Sex-indifferent describes someone who doesn’t have strong feelings towards sex or the concept of sexual interaction. Individuals who are sex-indifferent feel neither favorable or repulsed by sex or the idea of it but may engage in sexual activities for their partner, reproductive reasons, economic reasons, and many more reasons.

Sex-repulsed is a stance that describes someone who is repulsed by the act of sex or the concept of sexual interaction. Sexual activity may be uncomfortable, uninteresting, or generally undesirable to those who are sex-repulsed. However, this is not the same as lacking a sexual drive or libido or being asexual.

Sex-averse is similar to sex-repulsed, although it is not without its differences. Sex-averse individuals may be uncomfortable or disinterested with the idea of personally engaging in sexual activities, but they feel differently about sex when it does not involve themselves. For instance, someone who is sex-averse may be okay with sexual jokes, consuming sexual media, and the discussion of sexual topics.

I am sex-ambivalent and have made a post about the sex-ambivalent stance. That post goes into more detail than I will here. In that post I also contrast sex-ambivalent with sex-oscillating, another stance I will discuss later in this post. I will be providing more of a general overview in this post.

Sex-ambivalent is a stance that describes someone who has complicated or mixed feelings towards the concept of sex or sexual interaction. Someone who is sex-ambivalent may not fit neatly into the other categories discussed above (favorable, indifferent, repulsed, averse) for many reasons. An individual feelings towards sexual interaction may change depending on the situation, depending on the specific sexual acts, or because their feelings are confusing or unidentifiable. There are many more reason why someone may identify as sex-ambivalent. Again you can check out my other post for a more in-depth explanation.

Sex-oscillating describes someone who’s stance towards sex changes over time. Individual may find their feelings towards sex change frequently or infrequently. From my understanding, the key component that distinguishes sex-oscillating from sex-ambivalent is the fact that time is the variable involved.

Lastly, we have sex-drained which describes individuals who feel repulsed by the idea of sex because of trauma or exhaustion. Those who feel drained for reasons outside of trauma may identify with sex-repulsed.

We finally made it to the end! I plan on making a post going over the political positions on sex pretty soon, so be in the lookout for that! I hope you learned something today!

Sources:

(A)(A)(A)A)(A)(A)(A)(A)

[shk0lstun-flagz]

Moonset Aroace flag

Made my own Aroace flag with more inclusive meanings to show how diverse each Aroace experience is.

- anyone who is on both aro and ace spectrums can use (angled aroaces)

I’m a romance ambivalent and a sex favorable Aroace and I just wanted that to be represented in the flag that I use tbh

[angelellipsis-devilofdots]

im going to say it directly because im tired of being nice. i am acespec and i am sick of the asexual community on here calling sex sinful and unhygienic. i am sick of it. i promise you that all you are accomplishing is making sexual queer people feel bad. it's not funny, it's harmful. it is hurting allo queer people and acespecs who enjoy sex. so STOP IT. it is okay to be sex repulsed!! but sex repulsion doesn't have to equal sex negativity!! you can be positive about letting other people do whatever they want as long as it is consensual and healthy. you can talk about your experiences without shaming everyone else. thank you

[mar64ds]

I think it's important to have different aro representation and to show different ways to be aro but i lose my mind when people complain about romance repulsed aros getting 'too much representation'. we really don't. you can complain about wanting to see more romance favorable aros without throwing us under the bus.

[ihateliterature]

Minors don't interect with this post pls

Here's to the aces who are horny on main

The ones who for so long didn't understand these feelings because the idea of intercourse with any sex put them off

Who are sex favorable and would like to try it out but all options seem equally unappealing

The ones who are sex repulsed and just the idea of having sex is a game stopper

The ones who feel like they have no outlet to act on these feelings

There's nothing wrong, you're not a contradiction. People can't be contradictions, we're not ideas, we're fully sentient beings with our own valid feelings

Read erotica, write smut, watch porn, support sex workers who make content that appeals to you, masturbate, spend your money on sex toys, try some bdsm stuff that doesn't include intercourse, simp unashamedly on your favorite fictional characters, all of these (and more) are great outlets for all that pent up horniness

Don't let your confusion over your libido push you towards doing stuff you are uncomfortable with

And don't let people use your libido against you

There's nothing wrong with you, you are just as asexual as the next person. Have your fun in any way you feel comfortable

[theyanderespecialist]

Happy International Day of Asexuality 🌎♥♦🌍♠♣🌏 (Disclaimer: Asexuality Is A Spectrum) #asexuality 

Asexuality is a spectrum some are repulsed by it, and some are favorable. You can have kinks as an asexual person, you can still have a high libido being asexual, and you can still have sex even if you have NO sexual attraction. Sexual Attraction DOES NOT EQUAL What you choose to do. Sex is a choice and you are valid

(unless you frick kids or animals or do it without consent then you can burn in hell)

For those who do not know I am A Queer Onion with .Demisexual: Only Gain Sexual Attraction after Deep Connection .Panromantic: I am Romantically attracted to people based on personality gender does not matter .Omnisexual: When I do become sexually attracted to someone I prefer it if they are female/Trans Female but any other gender is fine too/When I have meaningless hookups I prefer to be with women. .Cupiosexual/Sex Favorable: Enjoy the physical act of adult fun time even without being attracted or no attraction to said person .Monster Fricker: Will frick sentient monsters that can give legal consent Demons/Werewolves/vampires/Really F up monsters that you do not even know how adult fun time with it is possible (What that mouth(?) do ;3) .Robot Fricker: The day that robots are sentient and able to have robots pp I will smash them when that day comes. .Fictophilia/Sexuality: adult fun time interest in fictional characters (Only In fiction For example in fiction I would ride Valentino (Hazbin) until he pp breaks, but in real life, I would be disgusted with him) (But also some fictional characters I would DO IRL Cause Experience points)

Gender Wise I am non-gender conforming with most of the time dressing masc

[plato-repulsed-culture-is]

romo favorable plato repulsed culture is not wanting be friends with people but having the vague understanding that thats how people typically get together.

yeah.. I think the main reason I don't have this issue currently is because my partners are apl and Im sexuromantic alloaro and was sexual partners w two of my partners before we started dating. But this was a worry I had when I didn't have partners, and I just want to add that there are other people who don't require friendship in order to date someone. It is frustrating that ppl act like being friends first is the only 'healthy' way to date someone, when thats not even required for mutual respect or respecting boundaries or proper communication, etc.

[itsoktocallmegay]

Touch ambivalent? Is that a thing? Because I feel that describes me better than touch averse.

Like, can we have favorability labels with touch?

[worm-priest]

Why is there a new ace-spec flag???

The original black-purple is already inclusive. Guys you can use it even if you’re not fully asexual i promise.

I mean this one is really pretty and you can use it if you want but i don’t think we need to find new ways to devide ourselves. I don’t want gray aces/people who aren’t 100% asexual to feel like they aren’t ace enought to use the original flag. It literally covered the whole spectrum from the start.