#oriented aroace a contradictory identity

[clouded-void]

It always gives me whiplash when people describe oriented aroace as a “contradictory” identity. How is being an oriented aroace contradictory?

Most “contradictory” identities play with society’s expectations of X group which is honestly amazing. Aroace doesn’t mean “never feels attraction”. How is being oriented “contradicting” being aroace?

[lesbiogay]

"how are you bi and aroace" google it

"how are you bi and gay" google it.

"how are you-" GOOGLE IT.

[dyketubbo]

lesbian related discourse tires me out sm. first it was aro/ace lesbians then it was nonbinary lesbians then it was he/him lesbians and it/its lesbians and now its bi/pan/mspec lesbians like when are all of you going to realize that the lesbian experience is extremely diverse and has never been as strict as "women who only identify as women who love exclusively women who only identify as women". like this goes for many identities but lesbians end up at the forefront a lot and it makes me wonder if any of you actually give a shit about queer history because istg lesbian separatism has been reinvented like 50 times in the past decade.

stop convincing each other that the queer experience is nothing but strictly defined boxes and labels that can always be condensed into one sentence. lesbians can experience a lack of sexual attraction and a lack of romantic attraction and lesbians can be nonbinary and lesbians can be gnc and when you actually go into what those last two mean you should realize that yes this means sometimes lesbians are men because genderfluid and bigender and trigender and transmasc and whatever gender lesbians exist and when you actually goes into what THAT means you should realize yes actually people combining labels like mspec and lesbian makes perfect sense because of fucking course orientation and gender and whatever else you consider to be apart of your queer experience is all fluid its all up to personal interpretation

its not shit like bi lesbians or mogai or aroace people or gnc people or "trenders" or it/its users or whatever fucking bonafide weirdos that are ruining the community its the people who want to sort everyone into neat little boxes because they cant handle that sometimes you arent going to understand other peoples experiences. its fine if mspec lesbians dont make sense to you. its fine if it doesnt make sense to you how someone could use it/its, if it doesnt make sense how a lesbian could consider himself transmasc, if it doesnt make sense how someone could seriously mean "my gender feels like a star", if whatever queer experience you run into doesnt make sense.

someone's identity does not have to make sense for you to respect them as a person and realize that exclusionary behavior is nothing but a crabs in a bucket type mentality. not only have "weird" queer people existed since fucking forever, but even if they didnt the human experience is diverse and we still dont know everything about the world and why the fuck would you decide that no actually if it cant be understood it must be bad and you need to find out reasons for it to be bad. focus on the people who are actively hurting others, taking advantage of vulnerable people, dont become one of them. dont become one of the people who scorns anything they dont understand and hurts innocent people in the quest of getting rid of anyone who they deem is abnormal. its fucked up and being any type of exclusionist is fucked up.

bi lesbians, as an overall community, is just a bunch of people who decided that a complicated label fits their complicated attraction and thats Fine. it is literally fine. being a lesbian was never about being strictly a woman who strictly loves other women who are strictly women. its about loving women in a gay/queer way, whatever that means for the individual. if an individual person is using it in a transphobic way, then thats a fault of the person, not the label. but at its core, all the identity is about is about recognizing that attraction is complicated and identity is complicated and not everyone is comfortable putting themself in neat boxes for other people to scrutinize until they Get It.

to any mspec lesbians (and hell, any mspec gays) who are reading this: im proud of you and theres nothing wrong with recognizing that your identity is complicated and maybe even contradictory. its Your experiences and no one has the right to say that youre inherently a bad person simply because they heard some strawman arguments and decided to believe in fallacy over reality. and because its probably obvious why im making this yeah maia arson crimew is literally fine its an absolute legend actually and i hope that its okay. fuck anyone who was a piece of shit to it because they cant handle someone being openly complicated and contradictory and unabashedly "Weird"

[ryttu3k]

Is it possible to be aro without being ace?

The extremely short version: yes, absolutely! You may want to look up the term 'aroallo'.

This post got huge (nearly a thousand words), so below the cut it goes for A Lot of detail!

With the disclaimer that I'm aro-ace personally and so this isn't my personal experience, yes, absolutely! The split attraction model (first proposed in 1879, later repopularised exactly a century later in 1979, with the aspec community in particular embracing it from around 2005 when the term 'aromantic' was first used, and coining the term 'split attraction model' specifically around 2015) says that romantic orientation and sexual orientation don't necessarily have to be the same thing.

A lot of the times, these orientations are congruent - someone who's panromantic pansexual, for instance, who might just describe themself as pan (or pansexual without differentiating the panromantic part), or aromantic asexual. They can also diverge - someone might be, say, homoromantic bisexual (romantically attracted only to the same gender, sexually attracted to two or more genders).

The aspec community does use it more in particular, I've noticed, although jury is still out on whether aspec people genuinely do have a higher instance of split attraction, or whether there are sociocultural reasons behind it (the term originating largely in the community).

So, some definitions! Aromantic = not romantically attracted to anyone. Arospec = on the aromantic spectrum, including aromantic, demiromantic, etc. Often uses qualifiers to describe who the attraction is towards. Alloromantic = romantically attracted to people. Asexual = not sexually attracted to anyone. Acespec = on the asexual spectrum, including asexual, demisexual, etc. Allosexual = sexually attracted to people. Aspec = pertaining to the arospectrum and acespectrum. Allospec = pertaining to alloromantic and allosexual people.

Then you can basically mix and match to describe your experience! Let's say you're romantically attracted potentially to all genders, but only after a strong emotional connection develops, and not sexually attracted to anyone. You could describe yourself as demi-panromantic asexual, or, more simplified, as arospec ace. Or, let's say you're a man romantically attracted to men, and sexually attracted to men and androgynous people. You could describe yourself as homoromantic bisexual. Or, if that same dude wasn't sexually attracted to anyone, he'd be homoromantic asexual, and could use 'alloace' as shorthand - alloromantic, asexual.

And yes, that absolutely includes being not romantically attracted to anyone (aromantic) and sexually attracted to others (allosexual, which can be described further - homosexual, bisexual, et cetera). As an umbrella term, you could use the term 'aroallo', which does seem to be the most popular term to use, both as a Tumblr tag and as a subreddit (r/aroallo). Probably on other socials but I don't use those XD;;

(Aro-ace specifically seems to use both 'aro-ace' and 'aroace'. I use the former. AFAIK, aroallo and alloace mostly use the non-hyphen version, but again, not much personal experience there.)

An important disclaimer - orientation is messy and imprecise. We use language to try to give some sort of definition, but it's not a black and white thing. People may describe themselves with apparently contradictory terms, like ace lesbian or the like. This is largely due to those spectra (the arospectrum and acespectrum) being huge. There are so many ways to be on those spectra! A small selection of acespec identities include not just asexual, demisexual, and grey asexual, but aceflux (sexual orientation fluctuates, either solely within the ace spectrum or between no and some/a lot of attraction), aegosexual (someone who experiences a disconnect between themselves and the target of arousal, ie. someone who experiences sexual attraction towards others but without themself being in the picture; I've found a lot of people in fandom fit aego, where they're sexually attracted to, say, two fictional characters but they never insert themself into the scene), cupiosexual (asexual or acespec, but still desires sexual actions despite not feeling sexual attraction towards a partner; someone who is otherwise ace but enjoys sex with their partner as a method of being close may describe themself as cupiosexual), etc.

There are also various views towards orientation, sort of along two spectra. One of these spectra is about how you view sex in general, between positive (sex, conceptually and in general, is a good thing!), neutral (sex sure is a thing that exists!), and negative (sex, conceptually and in general, is a bad thing!). Then, there's how you feel about it for yourself - sex-favourable means that even if you're ace, you may enjoy sex for assorted reasons (see: cupio), sex-indifferent means, eh, you don't have strong feelings about having it yourself, and sex-averse is "no thank you not for me!!", with sex-repulsed being considered a stronger variation ("sex is Ew and I don't want to even think about it") that can fit on either spectrum. I would consider myself sex-positive (leaning more towards neutral, I don't think it's a negative thing but it can be used in that way, like any sort of relationship) and sex-averse (no thank you not for me!!). A sex-positive and -averse person may still enjoy erotica; a sex-neutral and -favourable person may enjoy being intimate with a partner even if sex itself is just kind of. A thing.

This has got extremely long-winded, but the short version is: yes, it is absolutely possible to be aro without being ace. The split attraction describes that precisely, and precise definitions of attraction are imprecise and fiddly and can only really give an approximation of individual experiences, and all of these terms are optional anyway - but yes, very possible, often called aroallo.

I hope this helps! :D

[unagrancantidaddepanes]

ok i wasnt gonna do it i told myself no im just not gonna say anything on this drama but this is so MINDBOGGLING that i HAVE to make a post about this

i am gonna start by saying as someone on the arospectrum i personally see peridot as either fully aroace or arospec (i like headcanoning either one) and as in a qpr or plantonic friendship with lapis.

peridot has been confirmed to be intended to be read as aroace by a storyboard artist (maya peterson) that would focus on her character, i am not denying that,

however

she is also confirmed to be intended to be read as experiencing romantic attraction, by the OTHER storyboard artist who originally worked on peridot, jesse zuke, who has just as much authority to talk about peridots character, if not more since (to my knowledge) she was the original main storyboard artist for peridot

the intention behind what peridot is suppose to represent is fundamentally contradictory, there is absolutely no use fighting over it. this is so dumb to fight over YES both sides have been confirmed canon THATS WHY THIS IS DUMB </33

ive been trying to find as many actual sources as i can (which has been pretty difficult since A LOT has been deleted) but I finally found a transcript of one of jesse zukes posts that is deleted that everyone keeps referencing

from this reddit post https://www.reddit.com/r/stevenuniverse/comments/5q738i/lauren_zuke_speaks_of_her_intention/

(jesse was formerly known as lauren)

anyone posts something shipping peridot, u get a load of comments saying "this is aroace erasure, shes written as aroace, a storyboard artist said so", anyone posts something about peridot being canonically aroace, u get a load of comments saying "shes not canonically aroace, she was written as experiencing romantic attraction, a storyboard artist said so" everyone is either one or the other it seems like NO ONE is acknowledging that both is true and really this confusion is the fault of the crewniverse ????

these storyboard artists BOTH focused heavily on working on peridot and creating her character, and their intentions behind what she is are completely contradicting.

i would love for peridot to be aroace. to me she IS aroace, but im not going to pretend like this isnt the most confusing most unclear way of confirming that. even if maya peterson intended for her to be seen as aroace, jesse zuke wrote her as the complete opposite and it would be stupid of me to ignore that. harassing eachother over this is stupid. your both correct, now shake hands and make peace with eachother lol, good night.

As an arospec person I am completely fine with people shipping peridot and I do not think it is aroace erasure, because while I would love to see an orientation like mine depicted in a character like peridot, im not going to ignore that fact the she was ALSO originally meant to be read as experiencing romantic attraction AND the fact that many of the crewniverse ships peridot with people or supports others doing it. it is not aroace erasure to ship a character that was literally intended to be read as experiencing romantic attraction by some of the people who worked on her character. rebecca god damn sugar, the creator of steven universe has made fanart shipping peridot. peridots voice actor has said she likes and supports people shipping peridot. its just that different people working on the show had wildly different intentions when creating her character, and didnt clear up a solid identity for her with everyone working on her

jesse zuke said in her post "cant speak for anyone else! many people are writing those episodes". just like if maya peterson and anyone else working on peridot intended for her to be read as aroace, other people working on her character with just as much authority were writing her completely differently. people are not seeming to acknowledge that these two things co-exist. it is not one or the other. even though they are complete opposites, somehow theyve made it so that its both at once.

she was simultaneously written to be both aroace and experiencing romantic attraction by different people writing her character, clearly because of miscommunication within the crewniverse.

heres rebecca sugars ship art btw since the first 2 were really hard to find, in case anyone else wanted some sort of actual evidence of it

also just wanted to bring attention to jesse zuke saying "anyone who wants to see the narrative they want is completely, 100% allowed to". peridot and her episodes were written to have multiple interpretations. this was written with multiple intentions. some of those intentions were aroace, some of them, like jesse zukes, were not. you are all correct peace and love

update i found a slightly longer version of jesse zukes post in this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=oIl1sEQ4_iI

"I wanted to close the book on this - I am queer, and intend fully to write queer characters when I do"

this is pretty clear confirmation that peridot was fully written with completely different ideas in mind from completely different people. jesse zuke INTENDED for peridot and lapis to be read as having a queer relationship, in this post shes encouraging people to read it that way, meanwhile other writers had other intentions which are just as real and valid.

inconsistency and messy production in steven universe is not a new thing

[our-aroace-experience]

I’m aroallo (aromantic bisexual, to be specific), which, strictly speaking, is using the split attraction model, but weirdly, I don’t really consider my attraction to be “split” in any way. When I was questioning being aro, I felt quite unsure about my aromanticism because I was so sure of my bisexuality. I felt worried that identifying as aro would alienate me from the bi community, and disconnected from the idea that attraction could be neatly and clearly divided into categories such as “romantic” and “sexual” — I personally felt that the distinction was much more nebulous and was reluctant to label myself in such a way that implied I could easily fit my own feelings into those categories.

Looking back, I definitely did a lot of overthinking! But what made me finally feel comfortable accepting that I was aro was, (perhaps surprisingly since I’m not aroace), the aroace flag! I remember reading somewhere that the use of orange and blue on the flag, rather than purple and green, represented that some people viewed their aroace-ness as a singular, unified identity, rather than two separate ones. It kind of clicked with me then that I felt the same way about my own identity. Obviously “aromantic” and “bisexual” have quite different meanings, but they both accurately describe the same part of myself, rather than being two different ones. It’s part of why I like the aroallo flag so much (other than its fantastic colours), because it unifies my identity in a similar way, and that was really important to me when I first started using the label.

To be honest, I’ve gotten over these feelings a bit. I had a few misconceptions about the SAM when I was questioning (as is probably apparent) and I don’t have a visceral “no!” reaction anymore when considering that it applies to me. As I settled into my identity again, I realised that, to be honest, I had gotten overly worked up about this. During the tumultuous experience of questioning, the intricacies of identity and my own personal hang ups felt like a very big deal, but now it all seems pretty inconsequential. It’s nice to regain that confidence in myself. But, food for thought, I guess. I still don’t consider my romantic and sexual orientations to be any different from each other even though that might seem contradictory to some. Aro identity isn’t always as clear-cut as it’s made out to be!

(This ended up being way longer than I meant for it to be! Oops.)

thank you for sharing, i’m so happy to hear you’ve found confidence in your identity. the only person it has to make sense to is you, that’s always the most important, and it seems like you’ve gotten there!

[your-fave-queers-queerness]

have you ever looked at a character and thought to yourself, "damn, they definitely are queer in a way that makes most peoples heads spin"? then youre in the right place.

mspec gays and lesbians. straight homos. oriented aroaces. boygirls. turigirls. lesboys. and every other seemingly contradictory label under the sun. weve got it all, baby. so send in those headcanons!!!

as a heads up: reclaimed LGBT+ slurs will be present on this blog. i choose not to censor or trigger tag for them because for myself and many others, they are important identity labels, and these words are important pieces of queer history.

GUIDELINES:

send an ask stating the character, the media theyre from, and whatever labels you headcanon them using - feel free to include pronoun headcanons! in turn, ill edit them onto the corresponding flags and post that shit for the world to see <3

for labels that have multiple flags, please specify if you want a specific flag used, otherwise ill just pick my favorite option. i may make a flag list at some point in the future to make things easier, but for now you can include the flag in your ask or describe it to me. i'll also have a "#flag directory" tag for any flags i reblog.

if a character appears in multiple media, please specify any preference for that as well, including if theres specific art you want used, otherwise ill pick my favorite for that as well.

for characters without official art (such as from podcasts and novels), i will default to using the cover art or equivalent for the media. however, i welcome you to send in your own fan art instead if youd like!

posts will include edits for each flag on its own, plus one with all the flags combined.

i reserve the right to turn down any request if the character or media makes me uncomfortable for any reason. additionally, i will not make edits of real people, or of characters who are personas of real people.

any arguments against the "validity" of these identities will not be engaged with. good faith questions will be allowed, and tagged as "#info" alongside any other education-focused posts, but this blog is primarily for character headcanons.

edits are fine to use as icons and such! id prefer credit but its not really necessary.

and psst, fictives and fictionkin and everyone else of the sort - youre all welcome here. on that note, this blog is syscourse free. good vibes and friendship only 👍

blog icon is a combo of the lesboy and turigirl flags

[new about-the-mod post coming soon maybe? old one was out of date whoopsie]

[neopronouns]

Many times people invalidate my orientation because they think lesbianism and aroace are mutually exclusive. Would that make my identity contradictory too?

if the term feels fitting to you, yes!

[takethebunny-andrun]

Introduction!

Helloo you can call me March! My pronouns are he/xe/she/it and more. I am bodily 18 but I am a syskid host of a mixed origin system. This blog will mostly be for blogging trans, queer, plural, and any other labels I am, along with rants about my identity!

My main labels are— Oriented aroace, turigirl, bigay, demifluid, bigender, transfemmasc, afab transfem, amab transmasc, cistrans, auto spec, fictospec, queer platonic, objectum, and xenofluid, but I have a lot more labels I use because my identity is preettyyy complex.

DNI—

Anti endo/nontraumagenic || anti (mspec,contradictory labels, lesboys, afab transfems, etc)|| anti anti, pr0/c0mship.|| m4ps, z00s || r4dqueer, trans1d || Against physical alterhumans of any verity. || Disrespect others spirituality or religion.

[nonamorous-culture-is]

Nonamorous / Nonpartnering Culture Is

What is Nonamorous and Nonpartnering? Nonamory is a "relationship style that does not include intimate, long-term partnerships, for an individual's definition of one." This includes romantic relationships, but it can also mean someone does not want to enter non-romantic long term partnerships. Some may also refer to this as nonpartnering.

How To - send an ask starting with "nonamorous culture is" or "nonpartnering culture is" - this can include more specific asks like "aplatonic nonpartnering culture is" or "aroallo nonamorous culture is" etc - questions and other asks are also acceptable, just make sure to make your culture is asks clear

Rules for the Blog - This blog supports endogenic and non-traumagenic systems. This blog does not support fakeclaiming. Don't start syscourse with us, if you don't like it, leave. - This blog supports mspec lesbians, mspec gays, and mspec straights - This blog supports he/him lesbians and she/her gays. Pronouns =/= gender - This blog supports any other "contradictory" identities, such as oriented aroaces

About Me - you can call me aryonnet, he/it - aromantic, bisexual, nonamorous - xenogender, genderqueer, trans guy

Other - PFP flag - Header flag - Other culture is blogs found here

Tagging some other culture is blogs under the cut!

@loveless-aro-culture-is @aro-culture-is @aspec-culture-is @questioning-aspec-culture-is

[lyynpop]

idk if this will make sense but ok so im an aroace lesbian or sapphic oriented aroace or whatever your preferred way is to say i don't feel sexual or romantic attraction but i still like not men in a different way right? right. so to cishet people i feel like them knowing im a lesbian is more pertinent but within the queer community im more vocal about being aroace than a lesbian

i feel like if i were with other queer people who knew i was aroace but was still like "ugh yes women" for the most part (at least in my experience) it'd be chill like they'd get it but if i were with cishet people who knew i was aroace and i did that itd automatically be an invalidating "aha gotcha" moment and then id have to explain tertiary attraction and everything until they understood

the conclusion ive come to with this is queer people are usually more likely to understand fluid and seemingly contradictory ideas and concepts outside of the black and white of it while cishet people tend to feel the need to understand everything in no uncertain terms at least when it comes to identity

nothing we didn't already really know just wanted to try and put some words to it for my own benefit

[lesbidykez]

introduction

hi guys! my name is [link] teddy [/link] ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

i am white multiply disabled adult (24)

interests: queer culture, art, animal crossing, musical theatre, d&d, cute things, ponyo, cats, the osemanverse (especially heartstopper), pjo, and disability activism

i wish i could say i tag triggers but i simply don’t have the memory capabilities to remember to do so. if you need to unfollow due to this that’s perfectly fine

this blog supports inclusion, equal rights, and is firmly anti-bigotry

was: teddybytes -> teddyhearts -> teddygendered -> fagdykezz -> lesbidykez -> nbsoftbutch -> lesbidykez

sides:

@lesbidyke-smokes

@transgalaxies

@adhdgooglesearches

minors please filter “#minors dni” if you follow 💞

WARNING: this is my personal blog. i struggle with an eating disorder and occasionally sh tendencies and post about it when it gets bad. i do trigger tag those, as “ed tw” and “sh tw” so filter those tags if you follow me and are sensitive to those topics.

DNF IF:

general dnf criteria, don’t be a jerk. also, don’t follow if you’re anti-endogenic systems and/or against contradictory identities (ie mspec lesbians/gays, multigender folk, oriented aroace folk, etc)

[your-local-scemo-teen]

Introducing myself

Hi!! welcome to my blog :)

Read before interacting please!

For my introduction and my carrd just see below

xe/xem/xir/xirs/xemself

You can call me Jam, Lex or call me by my username. I use many pronouns, including

one/one's/oneself

bird/birds/birdself

void/voids/voidself

You can also use he/she pronouns, but please do not use just one binary set, either mix between he and she, or between one of them and neo pronouns. If you speak a gendered language, either use the masculine form or switch between masculine and feminin.

I am a genderfuck ftm butch boydyke, queer bi lesbian oriented aroace. For more on my identity read my carrd or ask questions.

I am autistic and disabled (please use tone tags if possible).

This blog will mostly talk about queerness, disability and autism, music, birds and horror movies and shows.

Please DNI if:

Anti "contradictory identities" (boydyke, girlfag, bi lesbian, bi gays, etc);

Anti self diagnosis;

Posting triggering/pro ana content;

Anti queer liberation;

Proshipper (like the shipping p3d0/inc3st stuff is okay kind of thing);

Just like, overall, don't be an asshole and let people be whoever they are

Please, while interacting:

Use tone tags (if you can);

Don't correct my grammar/how I communicate;

Dont use pet names (unless we're friends/mutuals/etc);

Refrain from makinf any sexual reference, I may be an adult it still makes me uncomfortable;

Put a TW/CW if sending messages or ask that they contain sensitive subject or grapphic content;

Avoid using feminin compliments/terms when reffering to me unless we're friends/mutuals/etc or you're also using other gendered terms with it (like with my pronouns)

Interest:

Queer history/theories

Birds and spiders

Horror movies

Skins UK

scemo/emo/punk/scene music and fashion

Makeup :)

My little pony

Ever after high

Monster high

Moomin

RHPS

David Bowie

For more information and my other socials, see my carrd bellow:

[marshmallow-rain]

Is the Pink Panther trans?

Don't mind me, it's past my bedtime and I can't sleep because this anthropomorphic animal keeps plaguing my thoughts. The sheer audacity.

I don't really tend to headcanon characters' sexual/romantic orientations or gender identities because- I don't know, maybe it's because I'm a romance/sex-repulsed aroace? If I were a character in a piece of media, people might guess I'm bi/pan/something-in-those-lines because of my lack of inclination towards this or that gender... and I would feeling like throwing up. And my business with other people's genders sort of starts and ends with knowing their pronouns and details like that. I also don't wanna feel seen or understood, I prefer it if society classifies me as a cryptid.

Despite it all, I started to have a thoughts about this character from my childhood: the Pink Panther.

[ID: A full body image of the Pink Panther himself over "Pink Panther" written in pink]

There are many who might not remember him or even know him, but when I was a child he was the main character in The Pink Panther Show (1969). My dad grew with it, too.

Although he is indeed pink and "panther" in Spanish (as I came to know him) is a femenine word, I (and everybody else) always thought of him as a guy. Of course, I still think so.

So I watched this video from The Click and there (at 5:19) was shown a chat where a person asks another what animal Pink Panther is. It was kind of funny because one was "he is a panther" and the other "but is he like a lion??", it was like that over and over.

Of course, it might seen ridiculous at first, and Pink Panther is obviously a panther. The thing is that panthers are not a species but every animal under the Panthera genus.

Being called "Pink Panther" isn't any clearer than being called the "Pink Feline". It does help round up the posibilities, though.

So under the Panthera genus there's only 5 living species: all big spotted cats (tigers, jaguars, leopards and snow leopards/ounces) and, yes, lions, too. You can see why one would think the Pink Panther is a lion, as he has no spots on his fur and lions are the only panthers without those.

Well, there are the black panthers. Not an actual species, but melanistic variants of leopards and jaguars, so dark their spots are not very prominent. Should Pink Panther be a pink black panther (as contradictory as it sounds), it wouldn't be too weird for his spots to be omitted. However, Pink Panther's fur is far too light to be melanistic.

If we discard all spotted cats, all that is left are lions and Pink Panther, with his lack of a mane, resembles lionesses far more than their male counterparts. Let's just ignore Pink Panther's tail.

The Pink Panther also has two kids whose other parent has never been shown.

Also, he is mostly presented as a mute kind of character. Suspicious.

So is Pink Panther a trans lion? Dunno, maybe he just shaves his mane (and his tail). However, I started thinking about it and decided to make it everybody else's problem, too.

[cat-sapphics]

Hey!

I follow the" aroace lesbian" tag and your recent posts have come up in my feed so I just wanted to say that being arospec, acespec (demiromatic graysexual, both labels in the aromantic and asexual spectrums) & lesbian is completely OKAY and you should not let anyone tell you the contrary. Especially uneducated people so 😚🤍

Many aroaces use the term aroace to encompass being in both aromantic and asexual spectrums; this means you experience little to no romantic/sexual attraction and that's more than valid. You can be both arospec and aspec! 🔥 Or arospec and asexual. Aromantic and acespec 🥺🤝

The way YOU experience romantic and sexual attraction is just different to the average allo person, & that doesn't make it any less valid. Attraction is an abstract concept and we shouldn't be putting ourselves into boxes but letting feelings be that, feelings.

Your experiences are necessary and important to our diverse & big aro/ace communities as an aroace lesbian! An aspec person is that who experiences little to no romantic attraction. That's it. THAT'S OKAY 🥰

And being an aspec lesbian is more than valid too, it's not a contradictory term because the little and fluctuating romantic & sexual attraction you DO experience, is ONLY towards women/nb so; I don't see why lesbian isn't a term you can't use. A lesbian is a women/nb female aligned person who experiences romantic, sexual and/or emotional attraction towards women/nb female aligned people. Check, check & check ✅

All in all, ace lesbians, aro lesbians and aroace lesbians are ALL part of the lesbian community & our unique experiences with romance and sex are necessary and valid for it 💓

Sorry if this got long, hope I made my point clear. Aroace lesbians have always been lesbians so don't let any exclusionists steal your peace 🧡🤍💖

thank you!! thank ya thank ya thank ya!! i really appreciate it <3

i will say, i think some of the anons i got did make some valid points (obviously not everywhere you look but they at least gave me something to think about in general) but it really took me by surprise how condescending and disapproving they all were. super uneducated too, i said i experience attraction differently or at least less frequently than average allo people and like ?? that doesn't mean i'm secretly a self-hating lesbophobe ?? you don't get to determine that for me if i'm genuinely happy even though i participate in lesbian discourse and am passionate about keeping the definition specific and closed ?? lol i didn't redefine lesbian or take away its initial meaning so it really had me peeved

i think most of their comments reflect on how they don't believe in aromanticism and asexuality being a spectrum, which i guess i invited by my own doing since i have some conservative and exclusionary views on the lgbt community and that affects my following/audience, but my response to that is that i use these labels because they bring me personal comfort. when i say i'm demiromantic i don't mean that alloromantics have zero standards when it comes to a potential partner or are completely mesmerized by the idea of hook-ups, just that the connection they need to start crushing comes within a decent time period with a personal connection, but not a super strong and deep and loving one that makes it exceptionally hard to fall in love despite however much we may desire to. the label doesn't exist to imply something bad about """normal""" people, it exists to name an experience many people have but to an intense degree. so, yes, it's a pointless social construct, it probably means nothing to you and that's fine, but it still means something to me. i'm not crying oppression or marginalization, and i'm not claiming that i'm lgbt on the basis of being demiromantic/greyasexual, but through being a nonbinary lesbian. that's the difference between mspec lesbians and aspec lesbians, is one is actively harmful to multiple groups and actually Does spawn from a place of internalized lesbophobia and/or biphobia, and the other is just "mmk this is just for me and affects nothing at all, it doesn't drag you into anything at all, i still qualify for lesbian the way you (should!) see it as technically even if you do believe it's redundant, so just... leave me alone" cause it reflects more on them than me when they make it their business by unfairly assuming things about me

same applies to me being greyasexual. still trying to figure out if it means that i experience sexual/physical attraction less frequently, less intensely, or both, but does that matter?? genuinely?? this is also redundant but i didn’t wanna leave it out of the paragraph about me being demiro fk;ljslkgbdvhbs. the aro disapproval part isn’t acceptable at all but i can at least see it since romance is so normalized and is a core part of, y’know, lgb relationships; the greyace disapproval however....... i don’t wanna label it as acephobia because i don’t really believe in aphobia being a thing, but it still kinda rubs me wrong to claim that sexual/physical attraction is a requirement ykyk... NOTHING WRONG WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE SEX OF COURSE (i myself kinda wanna try someday if that works out) i just think frowning upon someone who doesn’t UNLESS they try to claim they’re lgbt on that basis is.................. not really cool. i really hope people who read this understand what i’m trying to say and don’t label me as an ace inclus who thinks aphobia and oppression are real, i was just trying to make a point about my personal experiences oops lmao

and then it became "aroace means NO ATTRACTION AT ALL" okay... so i'm angled aroace, that's a sub-term since aroace is literally an umbrella term, actually (unlike lesbian, shit's complicated ykyk). "YOU'RE NOT AROACE THEN"....... they don't even like the idea of oriented aroace now either, so like, what then, are aroace people just never allowed to feel love or positive feelings from other people ever? jesus christ. i'm not even getting into this, i consider aro/ace identities to be secondary to describe one's attraction so this debate should not be as important as, say, discourse centering the L, G, B, or T. it's just dumb all around tbh

hope i addressed all the arguments against it, but i can't really care at this point if i missed something :/ i'll probably get a mean anon about it so don't worry!! /s jslgjgjkshkj;lhfp

speaking of, i've had to delete so many anons and even turn off the option to ask anonymously because of this discourse. it's so pointless in my opinion, so i've just stopped giving them my time unless i think it's worth answering - but even then, i try to keep it fairly short. i genuinely was not expecting my take on (cishet) ace discourse to turn into myself failing to be seen as a "real lesbian" despite literally meeting its definitive qualifications and then it just kept building up ?? stan behavior tbh, especially since plenty of them obviously come from the same users

i apologize for the rant. i just never really felt like i'd be listened to if i tried to explain my identity, so i gave up and just tried to ignore my way out of it. so i really genuinely appreciate your ask, especially since i can identify you. it really feels like i actually have someone on my side now, so even if you ever disagree i'd know you wouldn't harass me about it. it really means a lot, i really needed this from you and i don't wanna dump more shit but i feel that you deserve to know. so thank you again <3

[fite-club]

i think it’s really interesting how “inclusionists” seem to think they have the more nuanced views of gender and sexuality. because to me, microlabels and hyper-categorizing is the opposite of nuance. like, inclus will go around saying “identities aren’t little boxes with strict definitions” but then that’s EXACTLY how they treat labels!

some examples: i believe that there is no “asexual spectrum”, because “asexual” means “no sexual attraction”. everyone on earth experiences attraction differently, so why is every single deviation from an assumed “norm” considered asexual? why aren’t we saying “it’s normal to have a fluctuating or low sex drive, that doesn’t automatically make you asexual”? it makes no sense that allosexuality isn’t seen as a spectrum. anyone who labels themselves as “demisexual” is doing so because they don’t think that other people have nuanced relationships with sexual attraction.

or “bi lesbians”. there is no experience that “bisexual” or “lesbian” wouldn’t already encompass! why use both, which are contradictory? the SAM can’t be applied to non-aro/ace people, because it’s impossible to split sexual and romantic feelings into a binary.

or nonbinary genders… every sexuality (except aroace) includes attraction to nonbinary people! there is no one way to be or look nonbinary, it makes no sense that only certain sexual orientations could date a nb person. you can’t simultaneously count nonbinary as one gender and multiple genders (looking at you, “polysexuality”) and the nonbinary experience is so vast. or pansexuals thinking they are special for being attracted to personality or not caring about gender in a partner… why on earth would those only be experienced by pansexuals?

basically i think a pillar of inclus ideology is thinking that each individual person experiences wholly unique identities that all require their own labels. this is, in my opinion, counterproductive to LGBT solidarity. we are trying to normalize queerness, not trying to queer normality. we need to understand what we all have in common, instead of splitting hairs over differences.