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mellosdrawings · 1 month

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i love the n2 squad 🙇🏻‍♀️ please spare any angst crumbs if you have some

"I love the n2 squad, please make them suffer <3" Sorry that made me cackle xD Same tho

Angst 1:

Jamil is obviously very self conscious about his position compared to Leona and Vil. No matter what he stays stuck in his own mind about being a servant while they are (basically) royalty, being only vice Housewarden while they are Housewardens, being in second year while they are in third year, etc. He's seen with his own two eyes what Vil and Leona are capable of too.

He's not self-deprecating so much as he is frustrated. He wants to be worthy of them, he knows he can hold his own beside them. But he's still very self conscious and he hates it.

It comes in little things, but one of the scenario I've thought about is "kneeling" (no, not that kind, perverts /jk). Vil, while being the most perfect goddess ever, isn't actual royalty, and Jamil has knelt for him a few times while dancing and caring for his feet after wearing new heels for too long. With Leona though? Nope. He completely blocks. Just the thought makes him resent himself and Leona. But also Leona despises how obviously Jamil treats him and Vil differently.

(How do they resolve that? Well first they talk it out despite both being wound up. Vil acts as mediator.

And then Leona shocks everybody by kneeling to Jamil. He tries to even things out even though he can't change their situation. Yet. Because in truth he's such a sap that his very first thoughts about marrying his boyfriends happen here. He can even things out.)

(“Do you want a massage ?”

Leona and Vil’s attention crash on him with a weight that sends Jamil off balance. “What ?” he asks.

“You wish to massage my feet ?”

And Jamil realizes the implications of what he just said. There are massages and there is kneeling at one’s feet to attend to them. And Jamil has sworn to himself that he would never kneel again, that he would find a way to get back on his feet to stand as high and proud as Kalim, that no matter what he would never fake submission again.

It’s not fake here. Submission ? Maybe. Worship ? Definitely. But it’s not fake. Jamil would gladly go down on his knees for Vil, any and every time without a second thought, without shame. Because Vil wouldn't ask that of him. Vil doesn't need to belittle anyone to be able to stand over them, Vil would never belittle Jamil like that.

So Jamil goes down on his knees and lays a hand on Vil’s calf. “It’s alright,” he reassures them, and for once he means it. “Here.”

Vil only hesitates a couple more seconds before he gives one foot to Jamil.

While his hands work the blood flow inside Vil’s feet and calves, he takes a side look at the heels. They are brand new, Jamil sees, not even a single sign of wear on the soles. They have cut into Vil’s heels a bit so Jamil avoids the area and mentally notes to check into the bathroom for a first aid kit.

Vil sighs, melts into his seat, and Jamil smiles to himself.

And then Leona huffs. And it doesn't sound like a good thing.

Even Vil redresses in his seat to send an inquisitive glance at him. Leona just shakes a lazy hand toward them and turns on the bed for a nap. “Ignore him,” Vil says to Jamil. “He’s being petty.”

“Why, do you want a massage too ?”

Leona snarks a sardonic laugh. “As if you’d drop on your knees for me.”

And…

Jamil wouldn't. His hands halt on Vil’s feet. Jamil doesn't think he could kneel for Leona like he does for Vil, at least not without feeling resentful. The last thing Jamil wants is to find any reason to resent Leona. But things as they are, Leona’s status reminds him too much of the Asim.

He could kneel for Vil without feeling ashamed of himself. That man was no man, but a deity descended to earth in the form of the most gracious and beautiful being they could find. He has hordes of people willing to stand in lines for a second of his time, helpers all around him adjusting his clothes and makeup and hair. He worked hard to end where he is.

Leona is a prince. Born into royalty, possessing servants, and any time Jamil thinks too hard about them he’s unnerved.

Of course he loves Leona. Of course he’d do almost anything for him. But Jamil has been conditioned to serve and Leona is used to be served and Jamil just can’t.

He can’t.)

(Drabble I've had in my drafts for a while.)

Angst 2:

Another LeoJami but it's just too easy to imagine them at odds.

The first few months are... difficult, to say the least. Because while Jamil is very good at forethought, he's also used to have a very open and talkative ward. Leona though seems to be unable to express himself properly, barely saying a word, talking in riddles, etc.

Of course Jamil explodes at some point. "Can't you just be clear for once?! Do I have to play mind games whenever I talk with you?!"

Oh, but it's not just between those two. As I've once said, communication is a pretty difficult thing for them all. Vil isn't faring any better. He does keep things to himself far too much until he reaches breaking point, keeps his hardships from the other two until they have to physically restrain him into bed so he can take a break and talk to them.

(“Why are you kissing me ?”

Jamil thinks Leona has fallen asleep once more until the man finally moves, just enough to show his face to Jamil without actually releasing him.

He looks positively unimpressed.

“You are very slow on the uptake, Viper. Not the first time I guess.”

Jamil feels like punching him. Is that a quip about how long it took him to understand Leona's intentions back in Tartarus ?

“Contrary to popular belief, I cannot read people's minds,” Jamil says with gritted teeth. He's just good at guessing what Kalim wants from him since they have done it for so long, and people started thinking that's just a thing he does with everybody.)

(Short excerpt from my LeoJami fic)

Angst 3:

Also, for a few weeks after they start dating, Jamil is... very confused about Leona and Vil's flirting. When he talks like that to other, it's certainly not because he likes them, so it just sounds like they are fighting to him. It makes him a bit anxious for a while before he eases into the relationship and gets used to their love language and banters.

Plus, in my own headcanon Leona and Vil have been something for some time now, so Jamil also has the fun ordeal of carving his place into the relationship. Try to be with them and not with them. Leona and Vil have to learn to change their habits to make some place for Jamil, while Jamil has to assert himself. It... becomes angsty really fast until they are forced to tackle this issue.

(Jamil has never felt more awkward.

He’s in the back with Vil, Leona acting as their personal chauffeur, holding a manicured hand in his like it is the most natural thing in the world. And he feels awkward.

Vil and Leona have been bickering (flirting) ever since they got in the car and Jamil just doesn't know what he’s supposed to do. They have a snark in their flirting that Jamil could never reciprocate. He’s been bitchy with Leona a few times but that hadn't been flirting at all then. Leona just got on his nerves and Jamil had to exteriorize his annoyance somehow, it’s been in the form of arrogant remarks and biting threats that never once deterred Leona.

And he won’t even try with Vil. There’s no way he’s baring his fangs at him, even for a flirt or a joke.

So here he is, listening to a flirting Vil and Leona must have honed for years, and he feels like a complete stranger. He might as well not be here, he’s not even sure Vil and Leona would realize if he vaporized into dust.

It's not the first time he feels like that in only a week. Vil and Leona are assertive, Jamil is not. Vil and Leona have history. Jamil is brand new. Vil and Leona have their habits. And Jamil… well, his habits are to stay quiet to the side until the big shots ask something from him.

Jamil isn't complaining. They have been nothing but fantastic all week with him, Jamil must have reached the gates of heaven and been allowed in to enjoy such wonders. He wouldn't trade that for anything.

But… At times it feels like it's only Vil and Leona, and Jamil doesn't know how to dance around that. He's not sure if he should carve his way into their walls until he is completely nestled and they couldn't possibly remove him, or whether he should let them be just Vil-and-Leona, even when Jamil is around.)

(Drabble I've had in my drafts for a while)

Angst 4:

No, actually I'll keep this one for later 😏 Just know it involves a STYX rewrite with @aria-faye and it is veeeeery angsty (and soft. And angsty. And soft. And very angsty)

(Sneak brainstorm arts from the project fufufu)

#maybe I'll eventually own up my writing if I throw it out there #don't worry Jamil gets many kisses to make up for his suffering in that STYX rewrite #mello's drawings #twisted wonderland #twst #n2 squad #leojami #leovil #javil #jamil viper #leona kingscholar #vil schoenheit #art #my art #ask me anything #angst

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boywithpinkcarnation · 11 months

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tbh kinda wanting some jealous!jb like if someone is filtering w her gf OR ESPECIALLY IF IT WAS A ANOTHER GIRL AHH THE DRAMA 🕳️🕳️

alrighty... i am in no way a writer, so this is. going to be bullet point, blurb, word vomit, unedited chaos. additionally, this is gonna be so incredibly self indulgent and catered to me so i hope it suffices for u bug 💝

frankly posting this is very scary for a little tumblr baby like myself, but i feel a need to serve my community ��

they style of writing and tbh most headcannons/lore is coming straight from @gingerjolover their blog is lowkey bible and they are the sweetest pookie pie ever. luv u g fr <3 like seriously i recommend you go just read through their masterlist bc this will not compare (not trying to fish here, just being very real as someone who is a like fein for fics as a source of comfort, i fear this will not fully suffice)

rpf content under the cut (no hate if that's not ur jam, just ignore me!), minors dni!!!

refering to jb's parter in this as "gf" and sense i am a selfish selfish girl in this scenerio she is roughly jb's height/a little shorter bc i am and theres no shorter than julien rep ANYWHERE

personally, i see julien as lowkey so possessive in a cutie non toxic way... and sometimes that manifests in some cutie jeleousy that gf can not get enough of. i think it obviously would come out in like flirty enviornments like bars and parties where people are loosey goosey... but sometimes it's just like and about on a normal date. here's a little thought i cooked up for like a more domestic environment jealousy:

aquairum date

the date starts out very normal, classic boyfriend!julien activities are happening

she's making sure y'all are touching at all times. like she'll die if you guys are not physically connected

i'm talking arm around your shoulder, iron grip within intertwined hands, hand in ur jean pocket 16 candles style, hand on the small of your back,,,, but i think eventually (and her favorite, albeit a little awkward) she's hugging you from behind as you walk, almost hanging on you, head perfectly slotted on your shoulder kissing your head and neck at every stop to look at the pretty fish

"jay! look at this one" "real pretty princess" *kisses your head* (its over i can'tttt)

then maybe she leaves you to go get you like a bottle of water or a jacket from the car (idk something to make you more comfortable, very "can't have my baby thirsty/cold" vibes)

then of course, you are looking so cute and so gay, a girl approaches you

you are very focused on the fish bc they are truly just so pretty (can you tell i love fish?) and only look up when mystery girl nudges you

"omg i'm so sorry" "oh uh, you're good" "sorry, i have a bit of a habit for running into pretty girls"

and your're kinda caught off guard bc like... this is an aquarium??

"haha um thank you" "so what are you doing here all alone"

mystery girl is sooo fuck boy coded just go with it

"well um my girlfr-"

julien is back behind you, re koala latching twisting open the water bottle for you and handing it to you, GLARING at this girl

"sorry it took me a second princess, who's this?"

then her grip tightens pulling you even closer to her chest

mystery girl, bless her heart, replies "we just bumped into each other. i was just letting her know how beautiful she was"

oh jb did not like that

she reaches over grabs your jaw tilting your head to the side and back to look at her

"she is beautiful. my sweet girl" and kisses you DEEPLY

and ur blushing because you know jealous/protective/possesive!julien is in the room with us now and kind of giggle out of the kiss

"well then... i should be going, sorry again for running into you"

instead of letting you respond or responding herself jb keeps your face turned and starts kissing all over ur face as you giggle letting mystery girl to just shuffle away.

for the rest of the date she is SO overly affectionate

squeezing ur hips

keeping you so close

kissing your cheek and neck as you tell her about all the fish and animals

"really baby? that's so cool" "my little biologist" "ooo princess what about these?"

it's times like these julien wishes she wore lipstick to leave a mark on your face so everyone knows

she's probably taking you to the gift shop and buying you some random thing for fun because when she's jealous she doesn't take it out on you, she's secure with you and knows you aren't doing anything but being your pretty self

in fact it just makes her softer and more affectionate

when you finally let her drag you out she had you against the car kissing you lovingly and deeply and sets her forehead against yours

"i just love you so much. my sweet girl. my priincess"

"all yours j."

note from c: i hope this is at least semi ok? literally no editing or even proof reading, just love sick delusion.

#i am so in love with her #julien baker x reader #julien baker fanfic #julien baker x fem!reader #boygenius fanfic #boy with the pink carnation writes!

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jermer10 · 5 days

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hiiii I love love love ur writing sm !! do u think u would mind like. doing the trope where reader and merc get stuck in like a reaaaally teeny locker/closet/box etc and like basically have to be cuddling the whole time?? any mercs u want but I'd esp love scout, Sniper, and soldier :3 <3<3

TF2 forced confinement

gn reader, suggestive | wait i love this ask

includes: scout, soldier, sniper

drabbles under the cut :P

Scout: - The second the door closes, trapping the two of you inside, Scout freaks out - “Oh man, oh man, we’re stuck in here! What’re we supposed to do?” - "We'll just have to wait for them to come and get us." You grimace - He can’t stop blushing the moment he realizes just how close you are, he’s trying to act cool, but his face is beet red, and he can’t seem to meet your eyes - He keeps shifting, trying to get comfortable without, you know, touching you too much, but it’s a tiny closet, so he’s got no choice but to be practically on top of you - Every time he accidentally bumps into you, he mutters, “Sorry, sorry,” like it’s the end of the world - To cover up how flustered he is, Scout starts talking. A lot. “This closet’s so freakin’ small, huh? Like, who even makes closets this tiny? I mean, what’re people even supposed to keep in here? Brooms? Ha! Weird, right?” - You ease up at the realization that he's just as awkward about this as you are - After a few minutes, he tries to act like he’s totally cool with the situation - He’ll awkwardly drape an arm around you, trying to make it seem casual, but his heartbeat is way too fast, and he can’t stop glancing at you to see if you’re uncomfortable. “We’re cool, right? Yeah, totally cool.” - He is obviously, not cool - Eventually, the awkwardness turns into something a little more comfortable - He’ll laugh at how ridiculous the situation is, maybe even teasing, “Bet ya didn’t expect to spend the day stuck in a closet with me, huh?”

Soldier: - When the door slams shut, Soldier isn’t fazed at first - He just stands there, arms crossed, as if being stuck in a tiny closet with you is totally normal - “This is nothing. I’ve been in tighter spaces during training!” he declares with full confidence - But once you’re both standing way too close for comfort, even Soldier starts to feel the awkwardness - You’re practically chest-to-chest, and he can’t ignore it anymore. “Ah… this is… strategically inconvenient,” he mutters, his bravado slipping a little - Soldier tries to stay as still as possible, his body rigid as he avoids making too much contact - He won’t admit it, but he’s extremely uncomfortable being in such close quarters with you—not because he doesn’t like it, but because he likes it too much - After a while, Soldier starts to relax (as much as he can). If the two of you are sitting or huddling together, he’ll instinctively wrap an arm around you in a protective way, as if guarding you from the cramped space itself - He won’t acknowledge it, though - just gives a gruff, “Stay still, it’s more efficient.” - Soldier keeps trying to frame the situation like a tactical operation. “We must conserve space. Stay close. No sudden movements,” he’ll say, his voice serious, but inside, he’s silently praying you don’t notice how his heart is pounding from being so close to you - As time passes, Soldier’s stiff demeanor softens, and he might even say something like, “You are… not a bad person to be stuck with in combat—or a closet.” It’s the closest thing to a compliment he’ll give, but it’s sincere

Sniper: - The moment the door closes, trapping you both inside, Sniper freezes - He’s not someone who’s used to physical closeness, and now you’re practically on top of him in this tiny closet - his first instinct is to go completely silent - Sniper tries to move around in the cramped space without invading your personal bubble, but it’s impossible - Every time your knees or shoulders brush against each other, he stiffens, his face heating up. “Uh, sorry ‘bout that…” he mumbles, barely able to look at you - He’s incredibly polite, despite being obviously flustered - “I’ll, uh, try not to get too close, if I can help it…” but then he realizes how ridiculous that sounds, given the size of the closet, and he just shuts his mouth, embarrassed - Sniper leans back against the wall, trying to stay calm, but his heart is racing, and he’s hyper-aware of every tiny movement you make - Sniper doesn’t say much, but if you get uncomfortable or need to shift around, he’s quick to make sure you’re okay. “Here, move this way—it’ll be more comfortable,” he’ll offer, gently guiding you into a better position, even though it means getting closer to you - After a while, the tension dies down a bit, and he might quietly admit, “I’m, uh, not used to this sorta thing. But… I don’t mind, bein’ close to ya.” His voice is soft, and he’s looking away, but you can tell he means it

#ask #tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 fanfiction #tf2 imagines #tf2 x reader #tf2 x you #tf2 sniper #jermer10 #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 sniper x reader #tf2 soldier x reader #tf2 scout x reader

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physalian · 3 months

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Another 5 Character Types the World Needs More of (Part 3)

Part 1 Part 2

I did not expect these two posts to continue getting notes. So. Here’s some that didn’t make the cut and a few new ones.

1. Character who is immune to everyone else’s bullshit

This can either be funny or a breath of fresh air. I’m talking your drama cast of 15 all losing their minds over “he said/she said” and fixating on so many ridiculous and arbitrary problems… meanwhile Chuck over here is skinned with teflon and completely immune to tropes like manufactured miscommunication or drama, who’s juuust shy of being genre savvy to Get Shit Done like this is their second time around the block and they are not happy to be back.

The first one to pop into my head is Soundwave from TFP. He has no voice actor for 99% of the show and doesn’t have a face and is only the focus character for like, 2 episodes, but whenever he’s on screen you can just see “I’m surrounded by idiots” playing on repeat in his head. This con is brutally efficient, never messes up, and is never wrong and while everyone else is caught up on ladder-climbing and revenge quests, Soundwave is over here vibing and keeping the whole cause together.

2. The Femme Fatale, but a man

This is not sexy suave abusive asshole hero you’re supposed to root for, who’s a male power fantasy. This is literally the exact same trope, but a man. Meaning, he gets the same revealing uniform, the same “I’m letting you think you’re in charge but really I’m pulling all the strings”. Crucially, he’s straight, because most of them are gay-coded (because the man being in the submissive, ‘girly role’ is horrifying, he must be gay). This dude weaponizes toxic masculinity, making the villains extremely uncomfortable and throwing the villain’s own power fantasy back in their face.

This dude unabashedly flirts with his captors just to get in their heads, removes all concepts of personal space, and makes straight villains seriously question their sexuality. He has social engineering down to a science. I’m sure there’s one that exists, but every one I can think of is already queer-coded and that’s not good enough. So just. Black Widow. But a man.

3. Mary Sue/ Gary Stu who becomes the villain

Since these characters are the product of insecurity and lack of self-awareness… the example for this trope is Titan from Megamind. This character is absolutely the hero of their own story, practically perfect in every way. They think they’re the best at everything without trying, flawless in features and personality, and everybody loves them. And genuinely, they are just that good.

So good, that they live long enough to become the villain. Obviously people who write Mary Sues with full sincerity have no idea that anything’s wrong or problematic, but a genuine Mary Sue whose perfection is their greatest flaw without them even realizing it would be an interesting villain because I’m getting sick and tired of “sympathetic” villains who are really starting to feel like excuses for abusers to be abusive because they were smacked around as a kid.

4. Paragon who is wrong, but also right?

Apparently I’m in a Transformers mood today. There’s an episode where the Autobots’ medic/second in command does the whole “desperate scientist tests their invention on themselves with horrible results” trope and he gains the strength and speed he otherwise hasn’t had in like, eons, and starts kicking ass and taking names (and committing war crimes) to the point where his team is like “uh, buddy, slow down a bit, you’re starting to act like a Decepticon”.

The best part of that episode is where Ratchet (medic) completely unloads on Optimus about how he’s too soft, about how he’s had a million chances to end the war and murder Megatron (which is true) and yet Optimus lets the window pass again and again still hoping for Megatron’s redemption… while in the process, countless Autobots keep dying, collateral keeps happening, all because Optimus is stubborn and won’t just get it over with.

We know Ratchet is right, because throughout the next season, Optimus is a bit more… shall we say, ruthless, in trying to legitimately end the war, Megatron’s redemption be damned. But that episode ends with Ratchet nearly dying when trying to kill Megatron himself, and understanding that the Autobots are Autobots for a reason, because they’re “good,” and sinking to the enemy’s level won’t be a good foundation for a peaceful post-war survival of their species. Point being, sometimes being a Paragon is an incredibly selfish virtue.

5. Parents who know what’s up

So, while I am a firm supporter in the dead parent cliché because parents are super inconvenient sometimes, when it’s not that kind of story and the parents are a big part of the plot… while also being idiots (like Disney and Nickelodeon sitcoms circa 2008), just to make the kids sound smarter, it’s just been done to death. Everything you could think of, your parents probably did when they were your age so having competent parents in the plot as a well-meaning obstacle that continues to surprise the hero is pretty rare in stuff like YA. Usually it’s “I must lie to them to keep them safe” meanwhile Sally Jackson is over here murdering her husband with Medusa’s severed head.

They don’t have to join the hero team, but parents painted as bumbling idiots is a disservice to the mischievous teenagers they used to be. Or just the parent who really does know the kid better than they do, like when kids anxiously come out and the parent is like “honey I knew since you were 3 let’s go get ice cream”. I didn't watch Glee but that one dad who was like "son all you wanted was a pair of sensible shoes, I knew." So yeah. Smart parents. More please.

#writing advice #writing #writing resources #writing a book #writing tools #writing tips #writeblr #character development #character design #tropes #cliches

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jadedbirch · 18 days

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Well, I've seen the thing! Don't worry, I didn't pay for it. But if anyone is interested, here are my (extremely deep) thoughts about Formed Police Unit.

This is a movie that once again proves that China is incapable of subtlety when it comes to propaganda and self-promotion. Taking place in the fictitious country of "Santa Leonne", where the hard working salt-mining Proletariat has been oppressed by the two-headed monster of White Colonialism and Capitalist Greed leading to bloody uprisings, our Heroes arrive literally blazing the slogan CHINA IS HERE FOR PEACE. And it only gets sillier from here. At one point, a member of the FPU even says "Every life is equal and justice knows no borders!"

#AllLivesMatter? Sign me the fuck up 😂

I'm not going to talk about the "plot," instead I'm going to talk about how many times stuff happens to Wang Yibo's character, Yang Zhen.

(Spoilers under the cut)

1. He uses his helmet to cover a BOMB and when it blows up in his face says "I'm fine."

2. Then the vehicle he's in gets blown up and flips in the air

3. Then he gets shot

4. And blown up again

5. And then he drowns a little, but don't worry, he's still fine!

6. And then he gets a little bit tortured by some Evil Whitey.

Have I mentioned all of this happens in a typhoon?

Anyways, he obviously survives all of this because China Never Surrenders, and because his boyfriend Captain loves comrades him very much. In fact, their chemistry is so transcendent that the power of their gay love Chinese Bravery stops a sniper from fulfilling his mission of shooting the hostages they've been protecting. Long story short, Justice Knows No Borders, and therefore the good people of Santa Leonne prevail and are never bothered by evil Westerners meddling with their land ever again, or so we are left to presume.

But look, I'm sure you already know that Wang Yibo has intense chemistry with all his male costars. What I was NOT expecting was that the infamous and horrible blackface scene was COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY. They could've left it on the cutting room floor, along with poor Zhang Zehan's footage, and nothing about the plot would have been affected. It's really fucking pathetic that they chose to risk international goodwill for a 30 second nothing-burger 🤦🏻‍♀️. Get your shit together, China.

Was this movie worth watching? Honestly? Not really. But it helped to watch it with some like-minded Yibo fans who contributed much to my enjoyment with their own delightful shit talk 😂♥️.

I now leave you with this final look at the lovers comrades. Aren't they just 😍😍😍?

#wang yibo #formed police unit #the crazy shit i watch for love

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mjjune · 2 years

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How To Have a Good Beta Reading Experience (or: what I've learned from 3 years of beta reading)

So lately I've been having a lot of discussions about beta reading with my discord groups so I thought I would write it out here and also share some resources I've used over the years.

This is mostly by and for writers, however readers can learn from this post as well!

DISCLAIMER: I'm by no means a writing expert, but I have been either beta reading others' books, or having my own stories beta read consistently since 2020. THIS IS ALL PERSONAL EXPERIENCE/OPINION. Others may agree or disagree ❤️

Here are the main points I'm going to talk about in this post, and I'll do it under the cut to save your dash space:

Understanding Alpha vs. Beta Readers

Choosing Readers

Being Clear About Feedback

Swapping / Compensation

The Importance of Writing Community/Groups

Websites/Resources for Finding Beta Readers

1. Understanding Alphas vs. Betas

So this is extremely important and for me, this may be the difference between me finishing your book or not. Many times, especially from new writers who had never had anyone read their work before, had extremely rough drafts that were barely coherent and were NOT beta ready, but asked me to beta read. I am not a person who can look past extensive grammar errors, nor am I the kind of person who will sit and fix all your grammar line-by-line for you.

Alpha Readers - for first/second drafts

Beta Readers - for polished drafts

It is ok for alpha reads to be unpolished and have grammar issues, and it's even ok if they have plot issues, continuity errors, etc. Because alpha readers are there for that purpose: to be the first eyes on your story and help you find and fix those issues.

The issue I have had over and over, though, is people asking for a beta reader when what they really needed was an alpha. I went in expecting a polished draft and got someone's Draft 0. In some cases, I got 100k drafts where the writer obviously had no idea how to format dialogue grammar and every single dialogue was wrong. Obviously this made me slow and in many cases, unable to finish.

Alpha readers will go in expecting it to be unpolished, and will be prepared to look past grammar/stylistic errors in order to focus on the big picture issues (plot holes, character consistency, pacing/engagement issues, etc). A Beta may be too frustrated by an unpolished draft to finish it or provide the feedback you're looking for. If you have been experiencing a lot of betas backing out and not finishing your work, you might consider this as a possible reason why.

I would also recommend, if you have never had anyone read your work before, even if you have had multiple drafts, it might be safest to ask for alphas rather than betas.

A quick way to see if your work is beta ready (again, personal experience): Pick up a published book from the shelf in your genre. Does your book read similarly? Does your formatting & grammar look the same? Bonus: read it out loud! If reading the published book out loud is significantly easier than reading yours out loud, you're probably in the alpha stage.

TL;DR: Understand your draft and which level of reader your draft is ready for. Know the difference between polished and unpolished, and be upfront about it.

2. Choosing Alphas/Betas

You may not like it but: Just because someone is your friend, real life or online, does not mean they will make a good reader for you.

#1 MOST IMPORTANT: GET READERS WHO LIKE & REGULARLY READ YOUR GENRE!

I cannot stress this enough. As someone who writes vampire content, I cannot begin to express to you the amount of useless comments I got from readers who had clearly never read a vampire book in their life.

You need someone who is familiar with your genre and you likes your synopsis/blurb.

Caveat: that said, I did find a few great betas who had never read vampire content before and gave awesome feedback. However, these readers knew and admitted they knew nothing about the paranormal genre, and because of that did not make any comments on worldbuilding, instead sticking to plot and character development only. Some readers can't make this separation.

Another thing I would recommend, especially if you are swapping or the beta reader is also a writer/on writeblr, I would recommend reading their writing before having them beta read. If you read their excerpts and see that it's really unpolished or a style that's vastly different than yours, that might change whether you want them to read for you.

In my most recent beta round, I used a google form to do a quick survey to see who was interested in beta reading. This worked really well for me and I would recommend it! You can also use this to make all potential readers agree to not share/distribute/plagiarize your work, so you have it in writing just in case someone were to try something.

This was also a great way to see which genres they usually read and how many times they have beta read in the past!

TL;DR: Get readers who LIKE your genre. Read their writing and see how they write. Use an online signup form to narrow down.

3. Be Clear About The Type of Feedback You Want

This is perhaps the second most important thing when you get readers. Many readers will shy away from reading your work if you have nothing in mind for them to look out for. Also, being clear about this shows that you 1) know it isn't perfect and needs work and 2) you have insight into what the issues already are.

For Alphas, these traits are what I have found to be the most helpful:

Immediate inline reactions - particularly emotional engagement and pointing out lines that resonated with them

NO grammar/stylistic comments (unless incomprehensible)

Questioning of worldbuilding, character decisions, and character development - particularly if confusing or unclear

Comments on action sequences & their readability

Comments on believability of the plot points/progression

For Betas, these are what have been most helpful to me:

Comments on grammar, especially if repetitive

Stylistic comments, particularly for over-used words or noticeably repetitive sentence structures

Comments on pacing

Comments on plot initiation point and buildup/execution of the climax

Not questioning my worldbuilding/plot and trusting that what I have written is intentional. Only pointing out areas that have on-page evidence of inconsistencies.

Everything above is simply personal preference. You might find other comments to be better for alphas/betas. However, being upfront about which comments you want or don't want can drastically change which people want to read for you!

Some readers are obsessed with in-depth inline grammar/style comments, some aren't at all. Some writers LOVE these in-depth grammar comments, and some don't. Being clear about what you want is the best way to make sure you and your readers are compatible for the stage of editing you're at.

4. Swapping / Compensation

So this one I might have a bit of an unpopular opinion, but I wanted to cover it because so many people talk about it on here and other sites.

Again, based on my personal experience, swapping and compensation does not mean you're going to get better feedback or have a better experience or relationship with readers.

For the record, for everyone who beta reads for me—and finishes—I always offer to read theirs, even if it's a genre I don't like.

Personally, I have never tried compensation (re: money) for beta readers. However, there are a few issues I've come across with swapping:

Mine was beta ready and theirs was unpolished first draft

Our types of feedback didn't align

Our genre preferences didn't align

Their feedback was nowhere near as high quality or constructive as mine

In these cases, one or both of us burnt out on reading the others' work, and then we'd both bail. Especially with #4, it was very disheartening for me to spend hours finding their plot holes, helping them come up with ways to fix them, for them to then write 1 paragraph about what they thought of my story that was extremely surface level. To me, that wasn't even a swap, and was practically worthless. There was even one who got sensitive about the feedback I was providing (which was a queer sensitivity read) and then left almost identical comments on my story, which weren't even relevant. It was like revenge-commenting.

All this to say: I have had positive experiences with swaps. My alpha for twtr was a swap and I really enjoy her work and she enjoys mine, and we will probably continue to swap forever.

This goes back to #2 above: be picky & choose your readers well. Your story is your baby, and it deserves to be critiqued by people who value you and your story, and want to help you make it the best possible version of itself.

To summarize, I have had two good swapping experiences. I have had 10+ good uncompensated betas—with an offer for me to read their stuff when it's ready. Do with that what you will.

5. Writing Community / Groups

On to a more positive note! I have had the best experience here on writeblr, and this is coming from someone who has tried multiple other communities (which I discuss in the last section below). Having my own discord server from tumblr, joining a few other writers' discord servers, has completely changed the game regarding finding consistent betas, more resources, and just having an overall much more positive time writing and editing.

Writeblr keeps me grounded, keeps me hopeful, and even if I share something that doesn't get tons of notes, it's so nice to have interaction. It's so nice to give and get back, consistently.

I do want to emphasize the importance of giving to get back. If no one is liking/interacting with your excerpts, tag/ask games, etc. then that's probably because you're not interacting with them! It's very important to show interest in other people's work!!

I'm not saying you need to jump onto everyone's taglists for all their wips, but join the ones that genuinely interest you the most. Play in ask/tag games consistently. Follow writers back who follow you (if they post things you're interested in, ofc).

I have the same amount of followers as the people I follow right now, and I think that goes to show that people reciprocate here on writeblr! It's a lovely community and don't be afraid to reach out ❤️

I have found almost ALL my recent betas from my tumblr and discord groups. They have been lovely so far and I would highly recommend building up community here if you are interested in finding betas.

6. Websites/Resources for Finding Betas

Alright, last section. Thanks for bearing with me. I'm going to go through the sites I have used, and why I still use them, or why I dropped them.

Scribophile

So, for starters, this is one I don't use anymore. This was the site I first used when I had a polished draft in 2020 and had no idea how to get feedback. Essentially, they have a point-system. The more comments you make, the more points you get, and then when you have 3 points, you can post a chapter. It continues in a cycle.

Pros: Personally, I think the site helped me a lot in realizing what a bad critique looks like (which is helpful!) and also helped me learn which comments/feedback types work for me, and which don't. I don't regret my time there by any means, and I found one life-long friend and beta reader there I wouldn't trade for the world. It also allows you to post/remove your story and the readers don't have direct access to it—meaning if they want to download/steal/plagiarize, they'd have to copy and paste or screenshot chapter by chapter. It's a little safety precaution.

Cons: It's not the best place to get constructive feedback. The issue with their system is it encourages quantity over quality in critiques. Because of that, you'll get strangers rewriting your entire chapter in their own style so they get 2-3 points for one critique, but... was any of it actually helpful to you? Maybe, maybe not. It's also random, so you can't control who comments on your stuff, and they might just comment to get points even if they hate your genre. I also don't think it's fair to have to do 3-5 chapter critiques in order to save up enough points to post ONE chapter of your own. And if you want to post your story for full beta reads and control who reads it and who doesn't, you have to subscribe monthly.

So I keep an eye on it occasionally to look through their forums on writing, agents, publishing, etc. But most of the forums gets nasty, because there are a lot of really pretentious writers who think they know all the rules. If you join small groups (e.g. sub-groups based on diversity, etc) they tend to have better and more meaningful discussions.

Personally, I would never use it for beta/alpha/feedback ever again. This is the site where most of my bad swaps came from. But you might find it useful! So I thought I would share it.

Nanowrimo Forums

This is another one I don't use anymore, but might consider reusing in the future. The biggest issue I have with nanowrimo is that a lot, and I mean A LOT, of these participants are first-time writers and have no concept of what polished vs. unpolished even means. I did find two really good swaps there (actually the only two good full swaps I've had) but those were very hard to find.

There is also the issue that a good chunk of them only write during November, not year round. So for finding consistent, year-long partners, this is not the best option. I'm a member of 2 discords that have all fallen silent as soon as Nano actually ended.

Also, in my experience, asking questions about anything related to "controversial" topics (especially trans and minority ethnic groups) becomes toxic very quick, which is unfortunate. There are even a few moderators who seem to be contributing to the toxic/immature discussions rather than fixing them/shutting them down, which is the main reason I stopped using it.

However, it's a GREAT place to get free, simple covers! Their artisan section is fantastic and there are a lot of people there willing to make basic covers/banners for you for free.

BetaBooks

I've only been using this one about a month so far, but I'm really liking it. It's set up that you can invite betas to your story specifically, or you can look through a beta reader library, read their profiles, and invite them to see if they're interested.

This is essentially an alternative to Scribophile. It allows you to post your story online and find betas and become a beta.

Why I like it better than Scribophile: it's not a point-based system, meaning it's uncompensated so the readers have nothing to gain other than enjoying/helping your story. There's no hard feelings if someone bails. It allows you to see all comments in one place (which Scrib can't do). (And with discount codes found through google, it's cheaper, too. Message me if you need help with this 👀)

It also is all online, easily removable, so readers would have to copy/paste or screenshot chapter-by-chapter to steal it. So again, just a little safety net that makes me feel better.

Writeblr

Yep, that's right. Right here. Actually right here on tumblr has been where I have found the most beta readers and in the shortest time. I talked about this in the section before so I won't regurgitate. But there's a reason why this community is so long-lasting. It really is the best one out there I've found.

TL;DR / IN CONCLUSION:

Know where your book is in terms of reader-readiness. Know the difference between alphas/betas and polished/unpolished. Know the types of feedback that work for you and specifically request it when recruiting betas.

Interact with a community. Give interaction in order to receive, and don't expect people to reblog/like your content if you don't reach out first. Join small, niche writing community discords. Find like-minded writers.

Decide to swap or not, but this won't make or break you.

There are many writing communities out there designed to help you not only find betas, to provide beta-reading feedback forms and commentary. Try them out and see what works best for you.

And above all, thank Writeblr for being such a lovely community ❤️

#writeblr #writblr #writers on tumblr #writeblr community #writerblr #writer community #writing community #novel writing #beta readers #fantasy writing #wtwcommunity #mj posts #mj mumbles #mj talks about beta reading #100 #300 #500

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bluedilute · 1 month

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So, the Venture community has been going crazy since the season 12 trailer, and pretty rightfully so. I've been very vocal about how upset I've been with all of this, but I'm trying to still remain positive (which is pretty hard to do in general because of all the negativity in the world) and I want what's best for everyone

With that, I wanted to talk about why I think Venture is gonna be okay and will be getting a lot more content than they have now in the future.

I have a LOT of thoughts about the topic (this post has like 20 paragraphs), so if you have the patience, please read below the cut!

Starting with the most important point,

Advocacy

There has been a lot of talk about Ventures' lack of content as of recent, especially on Twitter. We're all very loud about our love for Venture. We literally put them on a billboard in times square– twice– to show how much we love them.

All this talk and everyone asking for more content for Venture got to the point where Aaron Keller himself made a post addressing the buzz, saying they have a "really exciting skin" for season 14.

Obviously that's pretty far away, and everyone is really upset about having to wait that long for one skin, but it's at least something, and it's better than not knowing when they're getting their next skin.

As well as that, it takes about 4-6 months to make a skin, so at least they're getting to it fast(ish)

Advocating for our respective hero(es) can go a long way, and that's been shown recently. If we keep at it and be loud, we can get more of what we deserve.

It's of course unfair that they're only getting a skin then, and they should have had some already made. But there's an explanation for this,

Ventures' release & layoffs

Venture was created/released during the time when the layoffs were effecting the team the most, and they're currently still recovering from it. The team doesn't have the final say on what goes into the game, and the higher ups have made increasingly more cash-grab decisions since their release.

I also think the decision to have them release with barely anything was because they were deemed as 'controversial', being trans and non-binary, and they had to focus on heroes they knew would make more money. Despite that, I don't think it is directly rooted in transphobia within blizzard. If it was, and word got out, i'm sure they would be fired fast (blizzard has had to fire a lot of awful people through the years).

Overall, Venture got very unlucky with their release, and therefore got nothing when s10 went live. As of now, things seem to be getting better, and the team is trying their best to make better things for everyone, which brings me to my next point:

Other neglected heroes

It's no question that a lot of heroes have been swept aside as of recent, namely Illari, Ramattra, Lifeweaver, and Baptiste. Kiriko has also gotten a lot of skins, and everyone is sick of it.

But, in the last two seasons, these heroes have gotten more content. Such as Weaver getting a lifeguard skin, Illari and Ramattra getting new skins in the transformers collab, and the s12 battle pass with Illaris' thoth skin, Ramattras Poseidon recolor (it's at least something) and Baptiste getting a mummy skin in the battle pass. (I want to note that Bap getting a mummy skin doesn't mean Venture can't get one too!)

All of these heroes, and I think a couple more (Lúcio being one) getting more content leads me to believe that Venture will also be getting more stuff in the future. But about what's out now:

All-time cosmetics

This is where I get into stuff that might be a bit of a stretch. There isn't too much to say here either, but just hear me out for a second.

Firstly, Venture has gotten new interactions all 3 seasons they've been in the game, even in s12, while Valeria Rodriguez (their voice actor) has been on strike, which he is very vocal about participating in. They've also gotten a voice line in the battle bass every season, and this season they have 2 new sprays to come out soon (I think it's 2, might just be 1)

Second, the rework for their default victory pose. It's a small change, but actually looks a lot better than the old pose. Their stance looks more relaxed, yet confident. The old one just looks stiff and awkward. It looks like more care was put into the new pose, plus I don’t think they rework victory poses that often, especially the defaults.

As mentioned, they were developed when the layoffs happened, so they were probably rushed out a bit too. Hence the stiff pose.

They're not fully being forgotten about, and they get at least a little more stuff every season since their debut. With that I expect the number to go up more every time.

Junos' cinematic

Now I know it's really frustrating that Juno got a cinematic while Venture hasn't even gotten a real origin story, but I think this is actually a good thing!

There hasn't been a proper cinematic for overwatch in a while from what I know, and one being made could be a light in a dark tunnel. This is the game breathing again, and it could mean a brighter future for Venture, and other new/neglected heroes.

Conclusion

Overall, Venture has had a rough start with their debut, and with a lack of content for them, it makes people feel like they were just made for LGBTQ brownie points to be swept under the rug for the next Kiriko skin (which is unfortunately probably true in some way). But their fans and mains are very vocal, and with people who main other heroes, even 'popular' ones, speaking out about how unfair it is to us, it seems to be serving us well.

I implore you to keep your voices heard, and advocate for a better game, and better treatment of your heroes. And we can help (at least start) to make overwatch a better game

As a treat, here's some Venture pics I've gathered the last few months

Bonus section if you wanna read it

If not, have a great day or night!

Final thoughts

I genuinely wish I didn't care about this game as much as I do, I feel like a sweaty looser defending it all for one character.

I've seen games, great games, time and time again become cash-grabs and drags as the people who make them become blinded by stardom. This happened with FNAF, fall guys, Hello neighbor (that game has always sucked, but the stardom blindness is there) and so many others. Weirdly enough I've had dreams about games completely changing, all in one patch. Seeing it happen in real time is disheartening.

Overwatch is a pretty special game. It has great lore, amazing art direction, and one of the most diverse casts I've ever seen, especially for a AAA game.

I only kinda played after being recommended the game by a friend, and i never really clicked with any of the characters I tried (I just stuck with Cassidy cause he's a cowboy and I thought it was funny)

Venture is the first character I played and immediately clicked with, and they're incredibly relatable to me on top of that. They're a huge nerd who's extremely passionate about their craft, they're goofy and optimistic, and being trans myself, learning they were trans too made me feel seen.

Them being treated like this while also being the only trans hero feels really disrespectful, and blizzard shouldn't get away with that. As of now, I'm glad we're all very vocal about it not being fair to any of us.

I'm an aspiring game designer, and I have a dream to make my own game one day. This whole situation has inspired me to get my shit together so I can go to college and get my game design degree. I hope to be able to save games like this, and give them a better chance. It's a big dream, but I believe I can do it with help from the right people

I genuinely want what's best for the world of overwatch, and especially all the characters who've been neglected over the years. There are always gonna be people who are fans of every hero they make for the game, and if they keep making more, they should know at this point to make content for that character. Playing favorites does nothing but harm the game, and most often makes the mains of the favored heroes arrogant and self-important (at least in my experience, specifically with kiriko mains)

Anyways, with all my thoughts out there for the internet to see, thank you for reading this really long rant! It took me a long time to write this, lol. I'm very passionate about game design, and Venture has definitely fueled that fire. Have a great day or night!

#venture overwatch #overwatch #keep your voices heard #fuck corporations #fuck blizzard #make them listen

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apolloskazoo · 1 year

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ELLIE & JOEL HEADCANONS PART 2

Here’s the part 2 you people (me) have been asking for. Once again 1k words because I cannot control myself

• When Ellie is looking a little down or bored and Joel isn’t right beside her, he’ll make a silly little face at her from across the room to get her to laugh a little. She always makes one back to get him to laugh, too. They can make each other laugh from literally across the room with one single look.

• Joel keeps everything Ellie makes. Drawings, school assignments, anything and everything he can get his hands on. He has stacks of papers and other things Ellie has made just lying in his drawer or pinned up on the fridge. Ellie always talks about how lame it is, and how they’re not even good, and blah blah blah, but Joel just snatches that paper right out of her hands and pins it up on the wall because he LOVES HIS DAUGHTER.

• One time Ellie got a cut, and while Joel was patching it up he jokingly said, “want me to kiss it better?” Ellie doesn’t understand what that even means and Joel has to explain. Now whenever she gets a cut she forces him to kiss it better because 1) it’s funny 2) to make fun of him when he said it the first time and 3) maybe she wants a Joel kiss, is that so much to ask for?

• In Jackson, Ellie learns that hardwood floors and socks can create a Very Fun Activity (sliding around a room in bare socks) and Joel has a near death heart attack every time she does it because he’s convinced she’s going to slide into a wall one day (she does).

• Joel 100% snores SO LOUDLY like the dad he is and Ellie complains about it non-stop, but in reality she can’t fall asleep without the sound of his annoying dad snores, whether they’re right in her ears or coming distantly from down the hall. It helps her know that he’s alive and okay and that he’s with her, and also it’s become like white noise since it was all she could hear during the nights they were traveling (she would tease him endlessly about raiders finding them by the sound of his snoring alone. He did not find it as funny as she did).

• Joel is known as the “pun guy” by the other adults at Jackson, and whenever there’s a new resident they all tell them that if they have any puns, give them to Joel. The entire reason the name started up was because whenever Ellie was having a bad day, telling her a pun she hadn’t heard before would cheer her up, but he didn’t know enough of them—so, obviously, he went around telling everyone that if they knew any puns, give them to him. He has people approaching him and telling him puns weekly, and he suffers through it just to see the look on Ellie’s face when she’s sad and he tells her them to get her to smile.

• Ellie eats things off of the floor. Don’t get me wrong, she’s NOT running around grabbing week old pieces of food off of the dirty ground, but she thoroughly believes in the five second rule and not wasting food (because of FEDRA school and not eating on the road and such, but I won’t get into that). So if she drops some food on the ground, she’ll quickly snatch it up and keep eating it, because of old habits. The first time Joel sees her accidentally tip her plate onto the floor, snatch it up in record speed, and keep eating it? He’s horrified. Speechless. Beyond shocked. Ellie Williams? Who? You mean the kid who just ate the same food that landed on the floor five seconds ago like some sort of deranged animal? Yeah, he didn’t know her, she was just some random kid. What do you mean, you saw him walking in with her when they first arrived? He’s never spoken to her a day in his life before, because if he had, he certainly would’ve taught her not to eat off the damn ground. He 100% pulls her aside, dumps the food into the trash, and lectures her on not trying to beat the world record of “person who caught the most sicknesses in under a week.” Ellie doesn’t see the big deal (“at least I’m not wasting food, Joel. And it’s hardly even dirty anyway, it was on the ground for, like, a second”) but after he starts listing off all of the diseases she could get she agrees to stop, if only to get him to stop talking.

• Joel teaches Ellie how to build and fix things, and essentially teaches her all of the stuff he learned as a contractor and mentors her. He loves teaching it to her because it’s his work and he loves to share it with her, and Ellie loves to learn it, too. When he’s working on houses or repairs in Jackson, she tags along and helps, and she likes feeling like her and Joel share a skill together, plus she thinks building is pretty rad. Also, if she and Joel share work, they get to see each other more often, which is a bonus. They’re building buds. They have matching construction hats.

• They take walks together, especially during the time when the sun is setting and it’s a bit cooler on hot days. Sometimes they just walk and talk, and other times Ellie brings her sketchbook and Joel brings something to carve and they walk to a river or back to the porch or somewhere peaceful, and they just sit down and do their thing. Joel works on what he’s working on, Ellie draws what’s around her or what’s on her mind. They just exist peacefully beside each other, silently bonding and doing their separate tasks beside one another.

• Ellie pets every animal she sees. A dog is passing by? Joel, stop walking, she needs to pet him NOW!!!!! Is there a cat in the window? She will spend thirty minutes trying to get the cat to trust her enough that it will let it pet her, and an hour later it’s in her lap purring and whatever she was trying to get to has already closed up, and Joel is running to find her in a panic. She 100% brings a rat home one day and asks Joel if they can keep it (she named it Chef Boyardee Ratvioli. She does not, unfortunately, get to keep it).

• Alternatively, Joel is such a big lame dad that he has to interact with every baby he sees. A baby is crying? Here, let Joel hold it, he’ll calm it down. Is that baby staring at him as he walks by? He’s waving and when the baby waves back he cannot control his smile. Yes, of course he’ll watch someone’s infant son for a second while they go to the bathroom despite not knowing either of them. Yes, he cries when he holds Tommy’s baby for the first time and yes, Ellie does indeed make fun of him for it (she cried, too, though, don’t listen to her lies).

• Ellie has a hard time sleeping at night while they’re traveling, so instead of just lying down and struggling to sleep, she talks to Joel every. Night. About everything. She reads him stupid puns. She tells him dinosaur and space facts. She tells him funny made-up stories. She chats about literally everything and anything, and Joel is baffled on how much she can still talk after a whole day of walking. He complains non-stop on how he wants to sleep and she needs to shut up, but eventually he gets used to it and he even, gasp, looks forward to hearing her non-stop nighttime chattering, which usually ends in Ellie talking herself to sleep halfway through a sentence.

Part 3 only if y’all like these and I get inspired again

#tlou #the last of us #ellie williams #joel miller #the last of us hbo #ellie and joel #joel and ellie #hbo the last of us #headcanons #the last of us headcanons #btw there may or may not #be a chef boyardee ratvioli fic #appearing out in the world someday #seems like it would be fun to write #and that pun? killer. joel will drop dead when he hears it #so yeah if the unseen forces allow it there will be a ratvioli!!!!!

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haveatthee83 · 2 months

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Under My Skin (Monkey D. Luffy/Reader) 4/7

Inspo: Under My Skin by Jukebox the Ghost

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Word Count: ~7.5k

Warnings: Fluff, cursing, emetophobia (brief mentions, no graphic descriptions), discussion of death and dead relatives, very brief descriptions of violence.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

You stirred in your bed, blinking away the sleep in your eyes, “Come in!” you mumbled. The door creaked open as you sat up, light streaming into the room. You rubbed at your eyes, “Who is it?”

The light flicked on, “It’s me,” Luffy muttered as he shuffled into the room, taking a seat at the foot of your bed. Your heartrate picked up and you felt your breath go ragged, but you tried to appear calm, but you were unable to stop wringing your hands. “I’ve got a couple things to talk to you about.”

You swallowed dryly, trying to fix your hair a bit to distract yourself, “We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” you tried for a laugh, but neither of you could find it in yourselves to huff out any laughter. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Luffy assured, thinking you were talking about the bad joke.

You shook your head, “No, really. I’m sorry for stepping out of line, I’m sorry for being insubordinate, and I’m sorry that I misrepresented you. It wasn’t okay.” You went on, giving Luffy no time to cut in, “I just-I’ve always been in a place where it’s them or me. It starts to feel normal after a while. Like it’s not…horrible and weird that you’re running for your life and trying to take people out before they can get to you, but it’s not. Obviously, it’s not. It’s fucked up and I’m kinda fucked up and…I’m so sorry.” You rambled out, keeping your eyes on your hands in your lap.

Luffy sighed, fiddling with his hat’s chin string, “I understand. And you’re right, it wasn’t okay,” he started, noting how you tensed, “and it’s not going to magically be alright, but I’m gonna give you another chance. You can stay.”

You sat up straight, eyes wide, “Really? You mean it?”

“You can stay, but-” he said, holding up a finger, “you have to prove to me that I’ve made the right choice every day. Don’t make me regret keeping you around.”

You felt overwhelmed again, this time with happiness and hope, pure optimism seeping into your brain, “Thank you!” you exclaimed, and without even thinking, you threw your arms around Luffy’s shoulders, taking him into a tight hug.

Luffy’s heart skipped a beat, and he found himself holding his breath, frozen in your arms. The hug couldn’t have lasted long, ten seconds maximum, but to him, it felt like hours wrapped in your warm embrace. ‘She’s warm like Ace.’

Quickly, you realized what you’d done and pulled back, sitting back onto the mattress with a bounce, both of your faces warm, “Sorry! I just got excited and I-“

“It’s okay.”

You smiled a little, fiddling with your fingers again, “So, um-you-you said you had more to talk about?” you asked, clearing your throat.

Luffy did the same, reaching into his pocket, “Robin found this in your house, it was under one of the top bunks.” He said, holding the envelope out to you, “It’s from Ace.”

Your eyes went wide, and you quickly snatched the envelope out of Luffy’s hands, turning it over in awe and confusion, “How did I never see this?” you muttered. “Oh, it’s for you! Wait, why are you showing me this?”

Luffy shrugged, “It was in your house,” he hesitated but said, “And Ace was your friend.”

You gave your captain a sad smile, opening the envelope and beginning to read the letter. Luffy watched your smile grow as you read on, turning to a little laugh, he was sure at the part about your brother, a bit of a flush coming to your face when you got to the part about you, your eyes flitting up to Luffy’s. You finished reading and sighed, “That’s some of the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.” You insisted, “He kept such a massive secret from you because my brother thought we’d fuck?” you asked incredulously.

Luffy shrugged and nodded with a laugh and a blush, “I guess so. It is pretty stupid, but…Ace always was a loyal friend.” You shook your head with a smile, “If you want to see something real weird, look back in the envelope.”

You quirked a brow but reached in, grabbing out the photo of you, your whole face dropping in shock, “Why the fuck does he have that fucking picture?” you stammered, “That fucker took pictures all day that day and I didn’t know why until he got this one. He was trying to get a picture for you! I thought I burned this thing! Portgas you fuckin perv.” You pinched at your brow.

Luffy chuckled a little, “He really wanted us to date, huh?”

“I told you; he had our whole lives planned out,” You giggled, “we’d meet, date for three years then get married while we sailed the whole Grand Line, and when you found the One Piece, we’d settle down a bit and have our three kids.”

“Ruby, River, and Rocky right?” Luffy chuckled.

You beamed, “You remembered!” you exclaimed, dissolving into giggles.

“Why did all of their names start with r’s?”

Your smile turned soft, “He said it was a little homage to Roger.”

Luffy beamed, “That’s nice.”

Outside the women’s quarters, Robin and Zoro listened into your conversation with soft smiles. “How long until they’re dating?” Robin whispered.

Zoro laughed silently, his shoulders shaking, “With that kid? Could be tomorrow, could be a decade.”

A little shy of a year went by rather unspectacularly as far as you two were concerned. You kept your nose clean and listened attentively, helping anyone who asked any time you could. Luffy still felt odd around you, but as time went on, it mellowed into more of a background thought. You both stayed in your own lanes, not crossing paths very often, and especially not for very long.

Of course, things change, and fate has a fun little sense of humor.

You all were stopped at a pirate friendly, populated autumn island with cobbled streets and taverns on every corner. You all returned to the ship after a night of celebrations, full of food and drink and laughter. You and Luffy both avoided alcohol that night as you had night watch, and he simply just wanted more room in his stomach to eat. This was unfortunately relevant. Something was wrong with the alcohol at the tavern you had gone to.

The whole crew was out of commission, laid in their beds with pounding headaches, nausea, and fevers. You, Luffy, and Chopper were running all around the ship taking people water, medicine, dry foods for their stomachs, and just generally trying to help tend to them all.

When things settled down a bit, Chopper decided to go back into the infirmary and take stock of things he had and needed since you had just had to raid the place for your whole crew. So, you and Luffy were left alone on the lawn deck, laying on your backs, staring up at the stars.

“How long do you think they’ll be like this?” you asked, craning your neck to look at the man next to you.

“Probably only a day or two.” He guessed, looking back at you for a moment.

A thought popped into your head, “Hey, do you know the date?”

Luffy chuckled, “You don’t?” you rolled your eyes and huffed, “It’s May fourth.”

You gasped and popped up into a sitting position and shuffled to be sitting right next to Luffy, his head next to your hip, “Your birthday’s tomorrow!” you exclaimed, “Oh no! Everyone’s sick!”

Luffy shrugged, putting his hands behind his head, “It’s okay. I just want them all to get better.”

You stubbornly shook your head, “Absolutely not, you deserve a good birthday!” you insisted, “You’re turning twenty! That’s a big deal!”

Luffy swallowed dryly, looking into your eyes, “I’m gonna be the same age as Ace.” He whispered, your heart wrenching. His eyes hazed a bit as he looked at you, “How did you deal with it?”

You pursed your lips and gathered your thoughts. When you found your words, you gently laid a hand on Luffy’s arm closest to you, “I didn’t at first, which wasn’t good. Then I went and I got my bounty raised over the million line by taking out that Admiral. Which also wasn’t good.”

Luffy huffed out a laugh through his nose, “You’re not very good at this.” He chided, nudging your hip with his elbow.

“Well, that was just at first,” you said, “That night, I was in my house, and I was going through my scrapbook. I was all sad and blubbering and I was really mad at everything,” you went on, subconsciously running your thumb up and down Luffy’s skin, “And then it hit me. I was looking at that picture of us I showed you. The one where we snuck into that Marine ball? And I remembered something.”

“What?”

“My brother wanted me to be happy. He’d be proud of me for making it longer than he did. He had literally been trying to make me laugh when he died. And here I was, crying and pissed off instead.” You explained, eyes glued to the stars, “He would have kicked my ass for spending my birthday upset. So,” you paused for a little laugh, making a small smile pull at Luffy’s lips, “I went and found my suit from the picture, I put on some insane makeup, did my hair, and I went out and club hopped until the sun came up.”

Luffy smiled a little wider at your admission, nudging your hip again so you’d look at him, “Your brother sounds cool.” He said simply, noting the soft glimmer your eyes took when you talked about him, “I can see why he and Ace were friends.”

A sly grin spread across your face, “Wanna hear an embarrassing story about ol’ Portgas?” you asked.

Luffy chuckled, “Of course.” He scoffed, sitting up next to you, only a breath of space between you, “I’m always down to hear about the stupid shit he did with you two.”

You chittered, “So, it was my brother’s seventeenth birthday, and Portgas was determined to find my brother a girlfriend.”

“Oh no,” Luffy huffed with a grin, taking one of his knees up and laying his cheek against it.

“Exactly.” You affirmed, “So, we were on some South Blue Island, and we were all going to go dancing, and Portgas kept like froofing up my brother, you know, spraying extra cologne, helping him gel his hair, telling him what to wear, it was insane.” You started, and Luffy found himself watching you tell the story as much as he was listening to it. “Well, we finally found a good-looking dance club and we were starting to get into it, right? We were having fun, my brother was a horrible dancer though, so it was pitiful trying to watch him. Next thing we know, Portgas has a dance partner! We were confused cause it was supposed to be like all three of us hanging out, but okay, man’s a flirt and lord knows he won’t stop for anything.”

Luffy hugged his knee and laughed a bit, “He ditched you guys?”

You snorted out a laugh, “Not exactly. All of a sudden, Portgas spins this pretty girl with practically no clothes on into my brother’s arms and naturally, he has no damned idea what he’s doing. I swear I thought he was gonna combust.” you started talking with your hands more, properly illustrating the story for him, “It was like he had steam coming out of his ears! He froze up and the girl was weirded out and left. Portgas was so confused he went up to my brother all like “How’d you mess that up dude? You just gotta try.” He was insistent that my brother could have pulled her if he wouldn’t have frozen up. One problem,” you cut yourself off with a laugh, unconsciously putting a hand on Luffy’s shoulder, “my brother hadn’t ever been around girls other than me and our crew ever. He didn’t know what to do!”

Luffy smiled and bumped your side, “Then what happened?”

“Portgas tried again! And again, over and over again all night! Half of the girls were sad cause they wanted to dance with him, not my brother, and the rest were just confused what they were supposed to do with this dude that was basically short circuiting. After a bit of that, Portgas got annoyed and insisted on helping my brother learn how to dance! Portgas is almost a half-foot taller than my brother and trying to teach him how to dance, trying to get my brother to lead. He got so frustrated, I remember him shouting over the music, “Fucking woo me, Cap! Damn!” but it was no use, my brother had two left feet and no user manual.” Luffy barked out a laugh at your poor imitation of Ace’s voice, “Eventually I got fed up just waiting around with those two, so I went and got some water, and I started talking to some nice girl at the bar. She was a little down and she wanted to try and meet someone but was having no luck. And me being the natural wing woman I am, I pointed out my brother and explained what was going on. She was his age and thought it was funny, so I encouraged her to approach him. Your brother,” you said, poking Luffy’s side, “thought she was flirting with him and was trying to shoo her away. Eventually she got fed up with his bs and just grabbed my brother’s wrist and walked away. Portgas was so confused, he found me, and I had to explain to him what was going on. And long story short, that’s how I got my brother his first girlfriend.”

“How long were they together?” he asked.

You squinted in thought, counting a bit on your fingers, “Two months. He broke up with her when she tried to get him to stop sailing and join the Marines.” You explained.

Luffy frowned, “Why would she try and make him give up on his dreams?”

“Some people think safety and normalcy is better than dreams and such.” You guessed, poking your hat back on your head a bit. “Some people don’t dream big at all; they just want to live as comfortably as they can until they die.”

“I’ve never understood that” Luffy stated, straightening his legs in front of him and crossing his arms, “It’s like people are afraid of what might happen if they actually succeed.”

“Some people are.” You muttered, “Some people are afraid of success even if they don’t know it. I think more people are afraid of success than failure.” Luffy quirked a brow and looked over at you, “We all know failure. We don’t all know success.” You said firmly, “And there’s nothing scarier than the unknown.” Luffy shrugged, “I like the unknown,” he said, “it makes me excited.”

You smiled and brightly said, “That’s why we’re pirates. But” you paused, “the fear of the unknown can still sneak up on us. Don’t count it out.”

Luffy wanted to protest, but quick flashes of when you two met went past his eyes, all the questions and confusion. “I guess so.”

You hummed a little, “What do you want to do for your birthday?” you asked.

“Probably eat some meat, help the crew, and sleep in.” Luffy sighed.

You frowned, “Uh-uh. I want proper birthday plans, sir.” Your captain just shrugged, “You better tell me, or I’ll do it myself and if it’s something you don’t like then it’s your fault.”

Luffy felt a grin pull at his lips without him meaning to, “I’m serious, I’ll be alright.”

“Bullshit.” You hissed, but you dropped it. With a sigh you admitted something, “I really don’t want to sleep in the girls’ room tonight.”

Luffy was puzzled, “Why?”

You rolled your eyes, “Do you particularly want to sleep with a bunch of people puking all night?” you asked sarcastically.

Luffy grimaced, “Maybe not.”

You sighed, lying flat on your back, “Where should we go?”

Wait. You wanted Luffy to go with you? The thought made Luffy’s brain fry for a moment. He stammered for a moment, and if you noticed, you didn’t acknowledge his struggle. Finally, he was able to spit out, “The aquarium has comfy booth things.”

You smiled at the thought and nodded, “Wanna have a sleepover in there?” you chided, pinching his leg. Luffy thought for a moment but nodded, “Great! Grab your blanket and stuff and meet me in there!”

Pillow and blanket in hand, Luffy stood in front of the door of the Aquarium Bar and took a deep breath. Luffy didn’t know how to categorize the pull of anxiety in his chest, he wasn’t afraid, and he wasn’t upset, after all you two had been on good terms for months. Even still, he found himself clutching his pillow a little too tight, his skin itching, and his hand shook every time he went to open the door.

Just when he was finally getting up the nerve to open the door, his fingertips brushing the handle, you swung the door open, running straight into Luffy without looking. You two flinched and scrambled, ending up with your arms around his shoulders and his around your middle, his stuff on the floor. You tilted your head up a little, making you realize how close you were when the brim of your hat hit Luffy’s nose, making him laugh. You both felt heat rush up into your faces and you found yourself thinking about how lovely Luffy’s eyes looked this close, him thinking the same about you.

“Wanna get to bed?” you muttered, slowly untangling from Luffy’s hold, bending to pick up his dropped bed supplies. Luffy nodded and flushed, watching you walk back into the room, his eyes unconsciously falling to your hips, “I was just about to go look for you, you know, see if you had gone and raided the fridge or something.” You called over your shoulder.

Luffy followed behind you, letting the door shut behind him. When he got around the mast in the middle of the room, he saw where you had set yourself up and where you were putting him. He put your pillows to where you’d be laying head-to-head. You carefully fluffed up the pillows and laid out Luffy’s blanket with care. When you were done, you smiled and plopped your hat onto the table in the middle of the room and slid into your bed spot, snuggling deep under your fluffy blanket.

The pirate captain looked you over in the blue glow of the aquarium, entranced by the way the waves of light rippled over your soft smile and serene expression. You looked up at him, confused, and it hit Luffy in that moment how the light caught in your irises sometimes made them look like fire. You were about to ask Luffy what he was doing when he quietly put his hat beside yours and flopped into the makeshift bed you had set up for him. You let out a shocked laugh as his dramatic flop made the booth bounce you up, flailing to catch yourself. Your hands finally found purchase on a positively cackling Luffy’s shirt. “You fucker!” You spat out, turning over onto your stomach you hovered over Luffy’s head, holding yourself up with one hand on his pillow and the other still on his shoulder. Luffy looked up at you with a cheeky grin, and he enjoyed the way your hair pooled downwards, the aquarium light making it look like a halo, “I could have fallen off!”

“But you didn’t.” he chuckled. Your face scrunched in annoyance, going to retort when he stopped you, “And if you did, I would catch you.” Luffy smiled and reached a finger up, poking the tip of your nose, and he relished in the embarrassment that flooded your features.

You rolled your eyes and smacked his hand away from your face. He tried to put it back, just to mess with you, but you huffed and grabbed him by the wrist and pinned it to his pillow, “Stop poking my face.” You giggled. Luffy could have gotten out of your hold if he wanted to, but he was shocked to find that he wanted no such thing. “Come on, Birthday Boy. You gotta get some sleep so you have energy for what I have planned for you, alright?”

Luffy raised an eyebrow, “What’re you talking about?”

You smiled wide, raising your hand off of his shoulder, gently poking the tip of his nose, “You’ll see.” You whispered before sliding back into your space and back under your covers. “Get some sleep.”

Luffy blinked up at the ceiling and furrowed his brow, “What’re you planning?” You simply stayed silent, unnerving him, “Should I be scared?” You gave no reply, and a shiver ran up Luffy’s spine.

The next morning, you woke up early, the sun barely cracking over the horizon. You were going to make your captain massive, delicious birthday meals all day, three of em. Maybe four if you had time for dessert past the cake you planned to bake.

You hurried right into the kitchen, getting to work. You whipped up eggs, pancakes, bacon, sausage, and potatoes, setting them up piping hot before coming to wake Luffy up, padding up to him, sound asleep on the cushioned seat of the aquarium.

You giggled quietly and stopped just short of where he laid, the sight of his hat giving you an idea! You quickly brought your fist to your lips and blew out a bit of yellow glass, quickly shaping it round and round in your hands, keeping it as perfectly circular as you could, forming a dome and the brim before forming one of your fingers into a red strip of glass, wrapping it around the base. You meticulously picked at and prodded every little corner and edge until you were satisfied. You had made a tiny glass version of his hat that could fit in the palm of his hand.

You let it cool and rushed to wake up Luffy, shaking him with your free hand, “Wake up, Birthday Boy! C’mon!” you exclaimed, only receiving a grumble and him turning over. You sighed and set your gift down next to his real hat before trying again. You shook his shoulder again, and he responded with a slow swat to get you to go away. “Uh-uh” you chided, “I woke up early as hell and made you food, you’re waking up!” Luffy roused a bit at the mention of food, but his eyelids were still heavy. A devious little idea popped into your head, “Luffy!” you sing songed. He blinked at you blankly. “If you don’t get up right now, I’m dunking you into the aquarium.”

Luffy laughed and tried to sit up, sleep still holding fast with its claws, and the next thing either of you know, he’s dosing off again. You sighed and shook your head, but ever a woman of your word, you quickly gathered the sleeping man into your arms, hoisting him over your shoulder. You climbed up the ladder attached to the tank and opened one of the hatches. “Last chance!” you called, receiving only sleepy blinks and confusion. You beamed as you quickly dunked Luffy’s head under the water, holding onto his torso around his middle for stability. Immediately you ripped the sputtering man out of the cold water, and man, he was awake!

Luffy spat and spluttered, running his hands over his face as he cackled, and you still held onto him so neither of you would fall, laughing at his reaction. Luffy put his hand out to hold onto the aquarium roof for a bit more stability and slipped, scaring the shit out of both of you. Luckily you held on tight, and the pirate captain instinctively wrapped his arms and legs around you, making you readjust your hold to under his legs.

You chuckled into his damp shoulder where he held you, “Luffy?” you asked, muffled by the fabric, “If you let me go, we can get down and eat.” You said, face still shoved into the red fabric of his shirt.

Luffy’s face ran hot as he realized what was going on, “Sorry, I didn’t want to die.” He exaggerated, slowly unraveling himself from around you, taking a seat on the aquarium’s edge before slapping the lid shut, all with a little smile. “I would’ve saved you.” You said nonchalantly, beginning to descend the ladder, “I can’t fuckin swim but I’m stubborn and I’d find a way.” You chuckled as your feet hit the floor.

Your words might mean very little to someone else, but a lot of things that you do mean a lot to Luffy. Luffy felt a weird pull in his chest again, not a bad one though, but he didn’t know what to call it. You looked breathtaking to Luffy in that moment, beaming up at him, hair a bit messed up and wet from his antics, with how bright your smile was, it was positively blinding, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away.

“Oh! And I made you something!” you chimed, breaking his trance. Luffy quickly hopped off the aquarium to the floor, confused when you came up to him holding his hat. You placed his hat onto his head with care before saying, “I just couldn’t help myself.” You chuckled as you handed over a little glass sculpture to Luffy.

His whole face cracked into a huge smile, and he snatched the miniature hat from your hands. He held it up to the light in awe, “I will never get over how cool this shit is.” He muttered.

You felt heat creep up your neck, and you started nervously fiddling with your hat strings, avoiding his eyes, “It’s not very much, but I promise that I’ll get you something better later today!” you assured, feet kicking at the nonexistent dust on the ground.

“What do you mean?” Luffy asked, flinching back in surprise, “You literally gave me a piece of you made to look like something very sentimental to me, and you’re saying it’s not much?” He scoffed, wagging a finger at you in shame, “You shouldn’t do that.”

“What?”

“Value yourself so lowly.” He chided, poking your side before walking out of the aquarium toward the dining hall, “You said you made breakfast?” he asked over his shoulder, leaving you behind for a moment, speechless, your mind taking a moment to catch up before you were able to run after him.

After you ate-you brought a plate to Chopper in the infirmary-you and Luffy were left helping your crewmates, getting them food, water, the works. You both caught each other’s eye from across the way coming out of the women’s quarters and men’s quarters respectively, and you sent him a wide grin, waving with the hand that wasn’t taken up by the load of laundry you had to round up for the girls. Luffy smiled right back, giggling a bit as he resumed his chores.

A new smile found itself on your lips as you recalled the first time you two had to do chores together, and a warm, fuzzy feeling settled in your chest at the difference.

Come lunch time, you quickly whipped together a massive portion of rice with fish, something simple so the crew could eat a bit too. Luffy was happy to eat his large plate, your cooking making him feel warm all over.

As the day went on, a little thought kept bugging at Luffy, you said you were doing more stuff for his birthday, but what? Luffy didn’t even know what he really wanted to do, too focused on good food and helping his friends. The thought dug deeper into his skull when he noticed that you were MIA after lunch. Luffy sat up on the figure head of the Thousand Sunny, watching the horizon and kicking his feet. The sun was about to set, the sky lit up in bright oranges and yellows. The sight made him smile, the warm sunlight made him feel like his brother was there, just for a moment, that he was wishing him a happy birthday.

Luffy was fully spacing out, eyes hazed and unfocused when he heard the loud SMACK of the kitchen door against the wall. He whirled around to see that was going on, and he could barely see you behind a giant stack of bowls that you expertly maneuvered into the men and women’s quarters. When you were done, you dashed back into the kitchen with a wide grin. Luffy was intrigued, slipping down off of the lion figurehead and making his way over to the kitchen door.

Before he could make it, Chopper came at him and tried to push him away from the door, “No way, Luffy! You gotta wait!” he hollered. Luffy shrugged and tried to move past the small reindeer but was stopped when he felt the undeniable pain of a set of antlers digging into his stomach. Luffy doubled over and fell to his side, “Oops! Looks like you need to go to the infirmary, huh?” Chopper said cheerily, carefully dragging Luffy around the ship to the infirmary.

“Why’d you do that?” Luffy groaned, flopping onto the bed in the room. “It hurts.”

Chopper shrugged cheekily, grabbing out an icepack with a little smile, “You need to wait. I’m making you wait.” He said, slapping the icepack onto Luffy’s stomach.

“Oof!” Luffy whined, “So mean! It’s my birthday you know?”

Chopper nodded, “I know. Happy birthday. Stay here.” He said simply, glaring when Luffy started trying to stand, “Lay down until one of us gets you or else I’m gonna introduce my antlers to your head.” He threatened, shaking a hoof in anger.

“I oughta tell Robin about this.” Luffy mumbled.

“You can, but she’d be fine with it.” Chopper said, blowing a raspberry before leaving Luffy alone in the infirmary, stuck staring at the paneled walls and the little supplies around the room. After a moment, the captain found himself dosing, his eyes heavy and his breath slow.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Luffy jolted from the infirmary bed, feet on the floor in an instant, “C’min’.” he slurred, rolling out his sore neck. The tiny figure of Toni Toni Chopper looming in the crack of light. Luffy shivered, clutching his middle, “What do you want?”

Chopper just smiled and gestured with his little hoof for Luffy to follow him. Luffy rose, stretching with a yawn and trudged out, looking out at the water on the back of the ship, the newborn night sky twinkling with stars. Chopper reached up and waved his hoof around to get Luffy to hold it, the pirate complied and grabbed the little not-a-hand. The little doctor eagerly led Luffy toward the lawn deck, and the moment it came into view, Luffy’s eyes lit up and sparkled, his jaw dropping a bit in awe.

You had set up a table in the middle of the lawn deck, covered in massive amounts of delicious looking food, all different types of meats, fish, veggies, fruit, and rice. The whole deck was strung with simple, colorful glass sculptures between string lights, making the space twinkle with rainbows of colors. You were bent over your record player, set up on the bench of the table, spinning a record you thought Luffy’d like from your home island.

“Holy shit,” Luffy muttered, trying to find his breath as he slowly stepped onto the grass.

You turned around with a beaming smile, “Happy Birthday, Captain!” you cheered, Chopper echoing you. Your smile never dropped as you came up to Luffy and grabbed his hand, dragging him to the table, sitting him down on the bench, “I know it sucks that it’s just us, but I hope we can still have some fun!” you exclaimed, plopping next to him. Chopper climbed up onto the bench on the other side of Luffy and started to dig in. Luffy looked to you, you thought for permission, with wide eyes, “Eat as much as you want! I’ll make sure me and Chopper are fed, and the rest of the crew has already been taken care of!” you insisted, stabbing a fork into a large piece of meat, holding out in front of Luffy’s face. “Go ahead!”

Luffy’s heart swelled in his chest, and he felt completely and truly overwhelmed by how happy he felt. With a smile, Luffy reached out and grabbed the meat off of the fork with his teeth, relishing in your giggles. As the food positively melted in his mouth, he somehow felt even more giddiness flow into him, and he was practically bouncing as he started shoving piles of the delicious food into his mouth.

You felt positively delighted as you saw him and Chopper enjoying the food you’d made. You quietly slid a bit of food your way and had your fill around what Luffy was barreling through. While you ate, you watched your captain mow through the food, occasionally thrusting a glass of water or milk in front of him so he’d take a damned second and breathe. When you saw how close to finishing he was, you hurriedly got up and started clearing empty plates, consolidating any food left onto a single plate in front of Luffy. When you had them all you rushed back to the kitchen, placing all of the dishes into the sink. You wiped off your hands on a towel and started grabbing trays of desserts and taking them out to the table. You made three trips with arms full of cookies, pies, and cupcakes, each time you saw Luffy’s smile get bigger and bigger. Then you came out with the cake.

You started softly singing ‘Happy Birthday’ as you set it down, lighting a few candles with your finger. Chopper joined in enthusiastically.

“Happy birthday, dear Luffy! Happy birthday to you!” you two chimed as you sat back down beside the beaming captain. “Make a wish, Birthday Boy!” you exclaimed, bumping your shoulder with his.

Luffy was just overjoyed with all of the wonderful things you had gone out of your way to make for him. He took a second and watched the way the candlelight flicked over your face, the colorful glints of light around you, and he soaked in your soft smile and gentle eyes.

Finally, Luffy knew what to wish for, he blew out the candles to cheers from your and Chopper, “What’d you wish for, Luffy?” the little reindeer asked, pulling a few desserts onto his plate.

You chastised the doctor, “You can’t ask that, Chopper! If he says it, it won’t come true!”

Luffy just smiled and started grabbing at the sweets, “This stuff looks great!” he exclaimed.

“Eat up! It’s all for you!” you said, “Happy birthday!”

Luffy rolled his eyes and plopped a cupcake onto your empty plate, “You can have some too, you know?”

You and Chopper froze, ‘Willing sharing? It’s not meat but still.’ The two of you shared a look around the pirate captain, but ultimately just broke out into smiles as you started unwrapping the cupcake.

“Thank you, Luffy.” You said between bites. Luffy waved you off without much thought and kept plowing through all of the sweet treats. Chopper started yawning, and you quietly told him to go to sleep, and no, he doesn’t have to check on the others first, you would before you went to bed. So, he begrudgingly trotted off to sleep in the infirmary where he’s been sleeping while the men were all sick.

When you saw him go, it reminded you of something. You sat up straight as a board before reaching under the table and grabbing out a little rectangle wrapped in simple newspaper with a ribbon. You held out the present with shaky hands, “I have another present for you.” You said quietly, a little shocked when Luffy stopped shoveling the delicious sweets into his mouth and wiped his hands on his pants before taking the gift from your hands.

“Thank you!” he exclaimed, ripping into the paper. When enough of it was revealed, he pulled it completely out of the paper. “Woah!” he awed, taking it in. It was a glass picture frame with orange flame designs all along it. Inside the frame was a worn picture of Luffy, Sabo, and Ace when they were younger, Luffy was on Ace’s shoulders, pointing to where he wanted Ace to take him, and Sabo was trailing right behind, all three of them with wide, toothy smiles. “How did you-?”

“Portgas carried that picture with him everywhere for years,” you started, watching Luffy trace his fingers along the glass, “He accidentally left it at my house the last time he visited. It fell out of his pocket in my workshop.” You explained with soft eyes and Luffy felt a huge wave of emotion wash over him, “I thought I’d lost it in the move onto the ship, but I found it in an old jacket pocket last week. I thought you should have it, but I wanted to wait until it was a good time to give it to you, and when you said it was your birthday…” you trailed off, resting a hand on his bicep with a smile, “I hope you like it.”

“It’s-it’s great!” Luffy exclaimed, wrapping you in a tight hug, “Thank you so much!” he called out. When he pulled away, he set up the picture frame right on the table and resumed his eating with a beaming smile.

When you finished what you wanted to eat from the spread, you got up and moved to the other side of the bench, sifting through your records, looking for a specific one. “Aha!” you cheered when you found it. You quickly swapped out the records and set the needle, stepping back with a bob of your head, your hips shifting a bit with the rhythm.

Luffy shot up in his seat, the last of the cake in his mouth. “That’s Ace’s favorite song!” he exclaimed.

You grinned, “Really? That basic bitch.” You laughed out as you spoke, approaching Luffy, “This is like the most popular song from my island! This band used to perform for Gol D. Roger back in the day. He’d come and visit our island a lot when he was king.” You stood in front of Luffy, hands out. “C’mon, lemme show you how we celebrate birthdays where I’m from.”

Luffy was confused, but he turned in his seat and took your hands, yelping a bit when you yanked him up, pulling him into the middle of the lawn deck, “What are we doing?”

You smirked, “We can’t exactly club hop right now, but we can dance.” You said, placing his hands on your hips. Luffy’s ears burned but he kept his hands where you placed them. Then you reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck, “Follow my lead.” You muttered, stepping to the rhythm. Luffy was watching his feet, trying his best to copy your fluid movements. You couldn’t help but giggle a bit when he’d step on your toes, “It’s okay, my boots are steel toed.” You said with a smile, “You’re supposed to look up at me,” you said, nudging his chin up with your finger. “Eyes on me, Birthday Boy.”

Luffy swallowed a lump in his throat and tried to hold your mischievous gaze. “I didn’t wanna step on ya,” he explained as you returned your hand back around his neck.

“I’ll be okay.” You chided, “Hey, lemme show you something else,” you said, moving to grab his hands. Luffy was confused but was trying to keep up. You kept your feet moving, not skipping a beat as you twirled in his arms, putting your back against his torso, your hands still connected. “Now, you can stay like this or turn me back out and go back to what we were doing before!” you chirped, smiling up at him over your shoulder.

Luffy swallowed down the part of him that was telling him to keep you there and twirled you back out because he wasn’t sure he could bear how much hotter his face was getting by the second. You held onto his hands with a smile that never fell, and continued stepping in and out, guiding his hands with your movements.

As the song came to a close, you twirled Luffy in your arms like before, his back connecting with your front. You set your chin on his shoulder, “Wanna keep dancing? The next song’s slower.” You asked innocently, not noticing the heat droving off of Luffy’s face in waves. Luffy nodded and you beamed, twirling him back out and stepping closer. As the next song started, a beautiful melody of different horns and guitar, you returned his hands to your hips and your arms around his neck, slowing down the rhythm of your movements, “I love this song.” You whispered, holding Luffy’s gaze, “Apparently my mom used to sing it to me and my brother when she was alive,” you smiled as you continued, “It’s about this man who’s so in love with the most beautiful woman in town, but she won’t give him the time of day. So, day after day he sits under her window and sings a love song so beautiful that she slowly starts to fall for him too.” You explained, relishing in the heat of his hands against your skin. “It ends with her singing the song with him, showing that she finally loves him just as much as he loves her.” Subconsciously you felt your finger wrapping around one of his curls at his neck, “People play this song at weddings for good luck.” You said, laughing a bit at the superstition.

“It’s a pretty song.” Luffy muttered, “Your island is really cool. You are too.” He said with a smile, enjoying the way your eyes gleamed at the compliment. You giggled a bit and carefully hit your forehead against his chest, your hat hanging off your neck. And there you stayed for the remainder of the song, one of Luffy’s hands venturing up your back, rubbing it soothingly.

Sanji sat up from his sleep in a panicked, cold sweat. The other sick men in the room groaned and stirred at the sudden movement, “Today was Luffy’s birthday!” Sanji exclaimed, trying to scramble out of his hanging bed.

The other male Straw-Hats all sat up in a panic, joining Sanji in his snail race to the door, “How the fuck did we forget?!” Zoro growled, being the first one to the door.

“We were a bit preoccupied, marimo.” Sanji said back, “I gotta at least make him a damned cake!” He exclaimed, dragging himself to the door handle, forcing it open with as much strength as his sick little muscles could manage, which wasn’t much. When the door swung open, all of the men’s eyes landed on the decorated lawn deck, confused hum’s and hah’s coming from the pirates, until they noticed the large table set up with the now empty platters of sweets and such, the sound of soft music filtering into the room.

“Holy shit.” Zoro muttered, “They’re dancing.” He almost hissed, pointing at where you and Luffy stood so close together, arms wrapped around each other. The male Straw-Hats’ eyes all slammed open wide, scrambling to get a better look from the door.

“They are.” Usopp whispered, “Are they like…dating now?”

Sanji rolled his eyes with a smile, “With how dense they both can be? Probably not,” he said, “They look so happy.”

Franky smiled wide and started trying to usher the other men back to bed, “She has it handled for now,” he said, “Looks like he’s having a super time.”

Slowly the sick men all crawled back to their beds, happy that Luffy was at least having a good birthday, with or without them.

“Happy birthday, Captain,” you muttered as the song came to a close. You pulled back a bit and smiled at him, “Hope it was an alright one.”

Luffy barked out a laugh, his hold on you tightening a bit, “It was better than alright!” he chided, “It was great! Probably one of the best birthdays I’ve had in a while.” Luffy assured, eyes running all across your face as he took in your bashful expression.

“I’m glad.” You said, pulling Luffy into a hug, “I can’t wait till you’re king.” You whispered in his ear, ignoring the way his shoulders tensed, “You’re a great man and I know for a fact that Portgas would be proud of you every day.”

Luffy smiled wide, pushing back the little tears pricking at his eyes. And as he held you tight to his body, he found himself thinking about his wish.

‘I wish…I hope I can make her smile like that forever.’

#one piece #monkey d. luffy #one piece luffy #luffy #straw hat luffy #strawhats #straw hat pirates #fanfic #reader insert #fem reader #monkey d luffy x reader #monkey d luffy x you #enemies to friends to lovers #portgas d ace #opla #haveatthee83

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prose-among-the-trees · 3 months

Text

Another DissociaDID post because frankly I’m not done.

Soren can obviously do what he wants (using he/him for the current name because I really don’t feel like starting an argument about whether DD is trans or not. I don’t mind using someone’s preferred name or pronouns.) when it comes to his channel, that goes without saying.

That being said, every single video is the same fucking thing. I as a former fan am frustrated with the same few topics over the past few years. I want a return of his to be genuine, not promise new educational content and be the same horrifying misinformation combined with blaming everyone for his legitimate fuckups.

People cannot genuinely believe that his newest update video was anything but a recap of the entire channel plus a chance to mourn all the fused alters like they died. People cannot genuinely believe that his newest demon alter video wasn’t a ripoff of the videos he promotes constantly, Mara’s intro, Sally and Amira’s nonhuman talk, and the videos about types of alters.

He’s promoting Palestine on TikTok and YouTube shorts when YouTube videos themselves get the most money for them statistically. He could do videos where he isn’t constantly making shameless plugs to his patreon and begging people to watch his trauma and dissociation on there if they’re paying for a certain tier.

This is not fucking did, it’s a joke. The newest video about types of switches is just blatant misinformation, full stop. I’ve now seen didtok making their own switching terms and circulating those. These are not clinical representations of a disorder.

Can we cut the brainrot for a second and admit that DissociaDID is a one man army to dismantle legitimate medical resources and precedents on which DID is founded on?

DissociaDID is a grifter who should have stayed the fuck gone. In case anyone believes I’m being too harsh about this, let’s go over some of the more insidious things this person (single person) has done.

1. Dated Team Piñata, someone who was exposed for drawing and selling art of CP, and begged all the did YouTubers to sweep that little factoid under the rug for the sake of friendship.

2. Fucked up with misinformation SO BADLY that the entire did community believed the terms integration and fusion were interchangeable.

3. Treated fusion like it could be caused by trauma, like alters had fucking died, and encouraged fans to simp over while mourning Kyle.

4. Responded to comments flirting on Mara’s individual account and liked comments from MINORS along with using their main account to tell a 16-17 year old boy that they could work on his GAG REFLEX (he was doing a magic trick and pulling a flower out of his mouth).

5. Told all of YouTube that Reddit was a bunch of predatory sadists who wanted children hurt when we asked him to move mature content to mature platforms like OF so kids couldn’t see that shit.

6. Legitimately steals trauma stories from media (says there’s no introjection there), other YouTubers, and from people who first supported him starting the channel.

7. Is still extorting viewers for the Sergio Costa case that should have ended at least a year ago. He might have started the issue but Soren is continuing to gather legal funding in a cash pool for the next complaint about his channel (can’t sue me I’m anonymous).

8. Posts triggering content to TikTok and when asked to stop blames the viewers and implies they’re bad people or predators.

9. Sends his fans to dox and harass whoever he wants because he can’t take a little legitimate criticism.

10. Subjected viewers to fetish content without their informed consent bc TP had a sneezing fetish (TP also drew CP with this fetish).

11. Blamed the internet for essentially killing Nadia after people called him out on his racist caricature of an Indigenous person.

12. Gave HORRIFIC sex advice for minors to see on how to get into BDSM after trauma. If you can’t say no you can’t have sex. Fuck that entire video.

Defending this person without any critical thinking and doing it blindly is defending everything I’ve stated above.

Fuck DissociaDID and the harm he continuously causes.

Also tagging @tomcatyowls because I know my mutual gets it. You’re a real one.

#dissociative identity disorder #mental health #dissociative system #did #did osdd #actually did #actually dissociative #did system #system discourse

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sleepanonymous · 10 months

Note

hello fellow worshipper ^^

so from most of II’s drum cams i’ve seen, you can barely hear Vessel’s vocals… like do you think that ever makes him sad? not being able to properly hear his pretty siren voice on stage? :(

ofc feel free to ignore, i’m just a curious dude :)

Heeey, thank you for the ask! And I’d never ignore you or anyone else (on purpose, but my object permanence is as bad as a newborn's, lol) 🖤🖤

So, I have two answers for you. My first answer is that, yes, II probably does feel some type of way about not hearing Vessel’s amazing live singing (or even the Vesselettes, or III and IV). It’s obvious he’s a fan of the music he writes with Vessel, and he gets really into it during certain songs like Atlantic, where pauses between the percussion parts exist. But if it makes you feel better, II absolutely loves what he does and fully kills it every time he goes on stage. I’m sure it’s a sacrifice he willingly makes.

My second answer is much more technical and would apply to any touring drummer/musician, not just Sleep Token, so I’m just gonna shove it under a cut to hide my nerdiness, lol (and also not to shatter anyone's illusion with how much planning and work goes into live performances).

What we hear in II’s live drum playthroughs and what II hears while playing is a lot different. Performing musicians wear unique earplugs/earphones called in-ear monitors (I’ll abbreviate them to IEMs). The IEMs have several purposes, mainly to protect musicians’ hearing and allow them to hear themselves and backtracks while performing over everything else during a concert (because concerts are loud, obviously lol). But the IEMs also enable the musicians to hear other things, like the stagehands/sound techs can speak to them, they’ll more often than not have a metronome going, and they may even have spoken cues like, “Verse Two in 4 3 2 1.”

I can guarantee that II has at least a metronome going during all of Sleep Token’s rituals. Since none of the band really speaks on stage (I don’t count III’s yelling), II also might have either Sam (his drum tech) or an automated voice telling him what song he’s playing next, along with a numbered countdown for the beginning of the song. II might even get in-the-moment verbal queues from Sam, or Sleep Token’s FOH, Thom.

This isn’t Sleep Token, but the video below is an excellent example of what I’m talking about. I don't expect everyone to watch the whole thing but it's great, tempo changes, count-ins, and everything. Flash warning, just in case.

youtube

The two screenshots are from the same video and add a bit more information on what a musician might hear in their IEMs during live shows.

I might be alone here, but I really wish Sleep Token would release at least one of the live drum recordings with an in-ear mix like the video above. I’d nerd out so hard over hearing exactly what II or any of the other Eepy guys (especially Vessel during The Summoning, omg) are hearing live in their IEMs.

I know there are people who do mockups on YouTube of Popstar’s supposed IEM mixes and I swear if I had any musical knowledge or video editing skills it would be my self-proclaimed mission to put an in-ear mix into all of Sleep Token's live shows 😅😅

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sweetlyskz · 1 year

Text

For Better or For Worse

Chapter Five: The Sun and Moon

Pairing: Poly!Ot7 x reader

Overview: you weren’t thrilled to be moving in with bangtan but you learned to come to terms with it. Your father however did not. When truths come to light and secrets are revealed, will you switch sides or simply exclude yourself from the situation altogether?

Genre: Mafia Au, strangers to lovers, yandere Au, slight angst, a little fluff :3

Warnings: none

Prev||Next

Masterlist

A/n: a short but sweet chapter :) the next one will not be so sweet :/

“Who are you texting?”

You turned your phone off and slid it in your back pocket. “No one”, you told them. You knew if you told them who you were talking to, they would make sure you never leave your bedroom, like a disney princess but with major ptsd. However, no matter what you say, they can read you like a book.

“Don’t lie princess”, Namjoon suggested sternly. “I’m not going to ask again… Who are you texting?” That was it. That was that line that made you short circuit.

“Why is it that I have to tell you every little thing that I do but I don’t get to know anything about you? You all are hypocritical! Asking me what I’m doing, when you leave before I can even wake up and you sit at this table ignoring me!”

“Y/n–”

You cut him off. “Don’t. Don’t fucking act like you care when you obviously don’t. I sit in this house everyday with nothing to do, no one to talk to. At least you guys have each other. Who do I have?”

With that being said, you slammed your fork and knife on the glass table and sped off to your room. You did not want to hear or see the consequences of your actions. Although, you did have a little hope that one, if not all of the boys would come see you. You thought Namjoon would at least apologize. But you got nothing. And that just proved what you knew all along.

They don’t care and you're nothing but a ransom.

When you woke up it was still dark, no sun peeking through the curtains. You look over at the clock on your nightstand.

2:37 am, it read.

You groaned, tossing and turning in your comforter. The house was unusually quiet. You didn’t hear any of the boys, not even a guard. Slowly, you unlocked your bedroom door, not before grabbing the knife from your nightstand. The whole house was dark, a small light in the kitchen was all you could see. When you got there, you saw Jin putting leftovers in the refrigerator.

“Okay, so you aren’t dead”, you deadpanned, turning and heading back to your bed. He lightly grabbed your wrist.

“Wait, can we talk for a second?” He asked, hoping you would say yes. You crossed your arms.

“5 minutes. That’s all I have time for.” He smiled, easing you both over to the couch in the living room. He loved when you tried to be assertive.

It never works but it’s amusing to see you try.

“I just want to apologize. The others– they’re too headstrong to say it but we shouldn’t have holed you up in this house all by yourself. I know we can be distant sometimes… but when you do what we do everyday it seems like some things just aren’t meant for you– does that make sense?”

You shook your head. He chuckled lightly.

“I figured it wouldn’t.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You're like the sun, this big bright ball of positive energy. You see the good in every situation, and you have a kinetic pull, making people around you want to be better”, He explained. “We are like the moon, hiding behind the sun. You're too good for us.”

“That’s… That’s not true”, you hesitated. “That's just another excuse.”

He shook his head. “Why do you think they won’t come and apologize for what happened at dinner? They’re ashamed. It’s easier to stay away than admit we don’t deserve you.”

“But I was raised just like you guys. I was killing in elementary school. How am I any different?”

“Because you don’t let it define you”, Jin tried to reason. “You grew up in this life, yet you graduated, went to college, and got to leave the country. Now, I’m not saying this to be spiteful. Believe it or not we’re all extremely proud of you.”

“Then why bring it up?”

“To show you all of the things that made you you, the you that I’m grateful to have in my life.”

Tears started to run down his cheeks. Seeing him cry all of a sudden made your eyes water.

“Y-you don’t mean that”, you refuted. He gently grabbed both of your hands, wrapping them in his. Then he brought them to his chest, holding them like his life depended on it.

“Don’t worry”, He consoled you. “We work it out. We will make progress. I know we will.”

It sounded like he wasn’t just trying to convince you but himself as well. He repeated it over and over again, sounding a little more uncertain each time. You took your hand away from his, wrapping your arms around his neck instead. He pulled you into his lap, sitting that way for a good minute.

“Jin”, you whispered. “Can I ask you something?”

He patted your head with one hand, the other one running through your hair. “Anything you want, princess.”

“Can we go see my dad, one more time… Just you and me?”

He laughed. “Are you crazy? My job is to protect you, not endanger you.”

“But I need to know why he did what he did”, You whined. “I want to know why he wants me dead and I have to hear it from him.”

He thought about it for a while, the silence making you anxious.

“Let me talk to Joon first, okay? If he says yes then we can go.”

You smiled, getting up from his lap. “I’ll go get him from the study.”

@ratherbefangirling @forpunishers @amara-mars @idk179634 @emu007 @m1sss1mp @mageprincess7 @fluffy-canada-pancakes @inlovewithallmusic @bratbxbyx @kaiwaialiki1210 @queen-in-the-shadows @exfolitae @scuzmunkie @juju-227592

The ones in pink I can’t tag

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bouncybongfairy · 1 year

Text

New Type Of Fear Part 3

Donnie x Fem Reader

Summary: Ignoring Splinter's foreshadowing of the dangers that can emerge from Donnie's exposure to bigotry, he sneaks out to visit you on Halloween night.

Word Count: 2.5k+

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

When all his brothers went to bed, Donnie came out to the table where Splinter was sitting waiting. It was always hard for Donnie to read Splinter with facial expressions alone. He had a very impressive poker face which scared the shit out of Donnie. He pushed his glasses up and approached the wooden table. Splinter was playing with his whiskers, extending his hand out and motioning for Donnie to take a seat.

“So, It’s come to my attention that you might have a bit of a romantic situation going on away from home, yes?” he asked.

“Well, I uh- not exactly but I guess.. Yeah,” Donnie sighed, pushing up his glasses.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been sneaking out lately, why is that? A girl?” he asked.

“I’m ready to face the consequences of my actions,” Donnie said which made Splinter chuckle under his breath.

“I won’t punish you for feeling something natural. I should be punishing you for going above ground but I understand that it was for a … someone that you care about deeply. I want you to know that I don’t keep you from modern society because I don’t think you can mentally handle it. I understand that out of all my boys you, my Donatello would thrive in a technology-dominated world. It’s dangerous for people like us and you are more than well aware. I know it may feel worth it now, but the risks you’re taking could have consequences that I have no control over,” his voice as usual was calm and stern.

“I understand,” Donnie said quietly.

“I’m going to leave it at that, I think you’re far too old for a lecture,” Splinter said as stood up from his chair and walked towards his bedroom, “Goodnight son,” he followed.

Donnie sat at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. A million thoughts race through his mind all at once. Especially after spending time together in person, the last thing he wanted to do was break things off. Not only that, he knew Splinter wouldn’t say it but his actions were putting everyone at risk. Being with you was so electrifying that it made him physically ill to think about letting what you guys have built go to waste. He obviously knew the concept of love in books and TV but he didn’t realize how different it was when you have it in real life. Seeing you in person just reaffirmed what he felt when he talked with you online. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad if you and him didn’t have such a strong and natural connection it would be less painful. He loved how smart and articulate you were with words. When he watched you play in the chess tournament, he admired all your mannerisms; like how you played with your acrylic fingernails while nervously thinking of your next move. Or how you would hold your opponent’s pieces in your hand as they played. He shook his head, almost like he was trying to get you out of his head, and walked over to the fridge. After grabbing a Gatorade, he walked back into the bedroom he shared with his brothers. To his surprise, all his brothers were now awake, sitting or lying on their respectable bunks.

“Yo, what did sensei want to talk to you about bro? Are you in trouble or something?” Mikey pried.

“No, he was having complications with one of the new lighting fixtures I installed,” Donnie played it off, he hadn’t told his brothers about you or anything relating to his love life. It’s not like they didn’t have conversations about how they found girls attractive. Mikey seemed to have a new girlfriend every five seconds nowadays but Donnie preferred to keep you to himself. As his three other brothers talk nonsense to each other Donnie lays on his back and hopes he’d dream of you.

It was Friday and you were getting ready for school. It was Halloween unfortunately your school didn’t allow costumes. Even though your mom begged you to be something cuter, you ordered a sea turtle costume to surprise Donnie. Even if you could wear it to school, you wouldn’t want to risk getting it dirty. You texted Donnie last night, asking if you were going to see him tonight which he didn’t respond to. There was a slight feeling in your gut that you were worried because you didn’t get a text. Deciding to ignore that and think more positively, you walk downstairs and start to make your lunch. Your mother was typing away at her computer, working on an article for the publishing company she works at. You could tell she had been up all night. Her bun was so messy it was only holding about 25% of her hair, and her eyes were red from staring at the screen.

“Hey hun, did you sleep well?” she asked, walking over to the kitchen and starting the tea kettle.

“Well I did but I can tell you haven’t,” you said handing her a yogurt from the fridge.

“I know, I just have to get this speech re-written because I’m going to be speaking in front of a panel of sponsors who are looking to recruit a lot of our editors and writers so it’s important that I really set them up tonight,”

“Wait, so you’re not going to be here tonight?” you asked.

“Yeah but if you need me here honey, I’m sure I can find-” she started.

“Oh no, it’s totally fine, maybe I’ll have one of my girlfriends over after we hang out at Maya’s if that’s okay,” you said, hoping she wouldn’t catch on to your underlying plans.

“Are you sure? I know I talked about being more present and-” she insisted.

“Mom, if I was going trick or treating then maybe but I’m just going to Maya’s house for a while then coming home. If you’re feeling guilty all night then I won’t be able to have a good time with my friends,” you said, zipping up your backpack after packing your lunch into it.

“Okay good, I love you and please just call me if you need me tonight okay? Have a good day at school!” she called out to you as you were walking out the door.

Part of you felt bad for being so manipulative with your mom, the other half of you was excited to have the house to yourself. While you were riding the subway, you checked your phone and were saddened to see that Donnie still hadn’t texted you back. You typed out a couple of different messages but discarded all of them, not wanting to come across as clingy. Once you got to school it was easy to ignore that, at least for a little while. During lunch, all your friend group could talk about was how excited everyone was for Halloween. All went on and on about their costumes and how desperately they wanted to get good photos. You played along, telling them how excited you were to hang out with them but you knew you’d ditch them the second Donnie texted you. Most of your teachers knew nobody would be paying attention and let everyone just chill. You were now on the subway home, still no text which was now making you frustrated. Why would he feel nervous to tell you he can’t come? Yeah, you would be sad but it’s not like you’re toxic and would be mad at him. There are obviously certain factors of your relationship that weren’t normal and you respected that. After unlocking the door, you slammed it shut out of anger and irritation. You texted him a question mark, refusing to give him the satisfaction of your words.

Walking into your room, you pull out the plastic package the costume came in and throw it on the bed. Regardless if Donnie was going to text you back, you weren’t going to let him ruin your Halloween. You set your mirror against the wall and grab your make-up case ,flat iron and a couple of other things before sitting down. Normally you would do your usual hair and makeup routine but because you were feeling a little wild you changed everything up. Make certain elements of your make-up bolder; things like darker eyeshadow, brighter blush, lip gloss, and fake eyelashes. Straightening your hair and swooping it to the side. You put the costume on after you were done and checked yourself out in the mirror. The costume was made out of a really soft, blanket type of material. The skirt was a moss green color but the top was a warm brown and underneath was a thin white tutu to give the skirt some shape. The top was that same green color but in the middle was a pale yellow, the back was a corset with a matching yellow ribbon to hold it together. It had a matching beanie that had paws attached to it which you thought were super cute. To top the costume off was a mini backpack that looked like a shell but actually had a zipper. As you started taking pictures in the mirror there was a knock at your bedroom window that nearly gave you a heart attack. You ran over and ripped back the currant and screamed a little when you saw Donnie. You opened the window, it was barely big enough for him to squeeze through.

“Why haven’t you texted me? I was getting really worried,” you said.

“Yeah, I’m- I am… Sorry, I just…” he was trailing off and at first you didn’t understand why but then you realized how you must have looked.

“Sorry this is my Halloween costume, I was just trying it on,” you said crossing your arms.

“You know I’m not a sea turtle right?” he asked, laughing a little.

“Considering the fact that you ghosted me all day, I don’t think that’s very funny. Especially because I got it to surprise you,” you said, sitting on the bed.

“Okay yes, I’m sorry I should have addressed that first. It was insensitive of me not to joke about that. I think you look beautiful and the fact that you specifically picked out a costume with me in mind makes me feel so valued and bashful. The reason I didn’t text you is because my dad found out about me sneaking out. I didn’t want my digital footprint to get me caught,” he said sitting next to you. His weight caused the bed to sink down, causing you to tip into him.

“I’m sorry I know that it’s not easy for you to meet face-to-face. I was just worried that you were ghosting me, did you get in trouble for sneaking out?” you asked.

“No. His approach was more subtle, he understands the nature of why I’m seeing you but he doesn’t think us being together as... plausible,” he sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

“What does that mean for us?” you asked softly.

“I’ve been trying to figure it out,” he said, letting his hands hang in his lap.

“Are we fighting for a lost cause?” you asked.

“What do you mean?” he inquired.

“Like, are we going to be able to be together? Things like a wedding and kids? I don’t know, like normal milestones,” you explained.

“That’s not even a guarantee when in a conventional relationship,” he said, wrapping his arm around you.

“I never thought about it like that,” you said, holding his hand that was draping over your shoulder.

After that, the mood definitely began to lighten. You were so excited to see him again, thinking that there was a chance it may be over between the two of you. Now you were just hanging out in your room, watching different Halloween movies. You were amused by Donnie’s reaction, he would laugh so hard at the cheesy jokes which humored you. When it got to the scene where kids began trick or treating, he asked you what that was. At first, you were shocked but then remembering his upbringing you realized that of course he would have never done that. You explained how children go door to door collecting candy for the night while they wear costumes of characters they like. Adding in other personal experiences you had with the tradition. He talked about how he wished he could have done things like that with his brothers. You proposed the idea of going out tonight but he shut that down immediately.

“It’ll be dark and you can just say that you’re wearing a costume,” you said.

“You’re a very intelligent girl and I know that you know the likelihood of that plan succeeding is less than 10%,” he said.

“Well, even if we don’t go door to door let’s at least go pick up some food. That way you can at least go outside and see the vibe?" At this point you were begging, “Please, it’s already dark out and I’ll call in so we just have to pick it up. We don’t have to go inside anywhere and we can take the back way of you want,” you pleaded.

At first, he was completely against it, but when you reminded him that nothing came of him walking you home from the chess tournament he began to see things your way. The only condition was that he wanted Pizza which you didn’t object to. When Donnie had a hoodie on, he honestly just looked like a really tall guy. It was nice to see his face light up as you passed by neighborhoods that were completely immersed in everything Halloween. He had to keep his hands in his pockets but you coiled your arm around his. Every once and a while he would look down to make sure you were okay which made you blush. Once you got back home, you were both sitting on the floor and started eating. He as usual was downing everything so fast, you were surprised he didn’t choke. Him holding a two liter was like you holding a 16oz bottle. He wiped his mouth and looked over, pushing up his glasses.

“I know this is out of the blue but, thank you so much for existing. You mean so much to me and I-I really love you,” he said right as you took a big bite of cheese pizza that trailed on your chin as you pulled the slice away from your mouth. After you both let out a couple laughs you responded,

“I love you too, I'm really happy that the universe brought us together,” you said.

“Yeah if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have known trick or treating was a real thing. Or that anyone could beat me in chess, even though you’re still learning,” he joked.

“Oh yeah? Was I still just learning when you watched me win that tournament?” you asked.

“All I can say is if I was there, I would have been the winner,” he boasted playfully.

“In your dreams,” you scoffed, scooting closer to him; ending up falling into a food coma while watching Halloween Town.

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