#and like i guess this is supposed to be a joke?? but im failing to even. figure out what u want me to say

[daydadahlias]

Not me using the wayback machine to try to find your old panic fics (yikesssss for that fandom) 💀

In all seriousness though, much respect to you for taking charge over YOUR work. People can be so gross sometimes. Like why plagiarize when you can just leave a nice comment for the author saying you love their work??

pretty crazy how this ask is acknowledging that it's my work and my decision and I should be able to take ownership of it while simultaneously saying that you went actively against those wishes to try and use other means to find said work after I took it down.

it's almost like you're saying "not me being disrespectful lmao! sorry abt everyone else who is also disrespectful!! they suck."

Pot meet kettle.

[dullahandyke]

THE 15 POINT JAM MAKING COURSE ISNT REAL????

[yunhoszn]

motive

PAIRING choi san x f!reader

WORD COUNT 3.37k

GENRES kinda fluff ig﹒smut

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, friends to lovers, reader is lowkey down horrendous, but san is too i guess, um tbh this is just porn with minimal plot… 😭, reader gets jealous, Tension, i can’t think of anything else for the tame aspect so, making out, exhibitionism, soft dom!san, marking-ish, scratching, vaginal fingering, multiple orgasms, they’re like kinda clumsy in the way that everything is a fucking joke to them, actually a lot of kissing, san’s a sweet talker, public sex, shower sex, unprotected sex (pls be safe), creampie, cutesy ending

SUMMARY it’s annoying that your gym partner constantly gets flirted with right in front of you, especially when you have a crush on said gym partner. good thing your gym partner has a crush on you, too.

MORE HELLO oh my god okay, this is my first written fic on this blog and im actually so nervous posting it… but fuck it! we ball! this wasn’t originally the first fic i was gonna post but,,, the other one is still marinating in the drafts so you get mr. choi san instead <3 ALSO THANK U SM FOR 100 FOLLOWERS HELLO. my blog is 2 weeks old that’s insanity 🤕 big thank u to the loml @kimsohn for betaing for me ilysm maya <<3 pls reblog if u enjoyed and pls moot me :( i need more atiny friends 💔

“Wow, San, you’re so strong,”

You scoff to yourself as you watch the trio of girls surround him, dainty fingers touching anywhere they can. He laughs sheepishly, shifting his seat on the weight bench. You think it’s funny, really, the fact that he was eating up their attention and acting like he was so shy about it. He was supposed to be your gym partner. 

With a small grunt, you take the dumbbells in front of you and focus on your form in the mirror. You make attempt after attempt to ignore the commotion behind you, but ultimately fail. How could you not stare with all the obnoxious giggling? Even as you lunge, eyes zeroed in on the perfect 90° angle your legs make, you can still make out the group’s reflection in the mirror. 

Every drag of a manicured nail along his bicep, each twirl of hair, it was pissing you off. You had no real right to be mad, though. It’s not like San was your boyfriend or anything. You were just friends, and he’d volunteered to help you out when you mentioned struggling at the gym. What started as him spotting you when needed and giving tips to help improve your workouts, turned into waiting around for him to stop flirting with the girls who flocked over to him. 

Maybe you were being a bit dramatic. It’s not like this happened every time you came to the gym, but it was enough to be irritating. There was also a very high probability that it ticked you off so much because you had a crush on San yourself. Your infatuation was less superficial, however. Yes, he was an attractive man, that was one fact that couldn’t be refuted, but there was more to him than his big muscles and handsome face.

You’d known San since you met in your first year Anthropology course. This was way before he started hitting the gym and building his physique. He used to be this thin, pretty boy. Girls thought he was cute, but that was about it. No one was jumping at the chance to ask him out, or giggling at his every word. No one except for you.

He was not only cute, but he was sweet and funny and just about every good quality you could think of. You didn’t want to be one of those people who thought you were special because you knew him before his insane bodily transformation, though in a way you were. San was your good friend above anything else, and you had a fear instilled in you that that’s all he would ever be. The idea made your stomach churn.

”Do you think you could bench me?”

A sigh pushes past your lips when you see one of the girls get a little closer to him. You’re over working out at this point, ready to just call it a day and go home. What were you doing here if your partner was going to ignore you the entire time? You set the dumbbells back on their respective rack, grabbing your phone and water bottle while simultaneously turning up the volume on your headphones to drown out everything around you. 

You don’t bother telling San that you’re leaving, making your way into the changing rooms to grab the rest of your things from your locker. The frown etched onto your face as you do so serves as a reminder that he would never see you in that way. Perhaps you were perpetually stuck as the girl space friend. With a giant emphasis on the space. 

There’s a gentle grasp around your wrist, making you jump in surprise. You turn around with wide eyes, pushing your headphones off your ears. San stares back at you with an unreadable expression, lips slightly pursed.

”God, San, you almost gave me a heart attack,” you hold a hand to your chest, heaving up and down a little.

”I tried calling your name, but you didn’t hear me,” he shrugs, releasing your arm and shoving his hands into the pockets of his athletic shorts. “Why didn’t you tell me you were ready to leave?”

”You looked busy.” Really, you wanted to hide the jealousy and bitterness from your tone, but ultimately failed, even throwing in an unintentional scrunch of your nose. It feels like your heart dropped to your stomach, resembling a prey caught by its predator when you realize the connotation behind your words.

San smiles at you, a smug grin that’s so out of character for him, you’re a little nervous now. He takes a step forward and you back up until you reach the lockers, one of his hands coming up to rest on the surface near your head. A small chuckle breaches the sound barrier, his eyes drinking in your figure like he might never get the opportunity to do it again. “Y/N… are you jealous?”

Instinctively, you shake your head. What he doesn’t know can’t kill him. But then he’s raising an eyebrow in question and you feel like a puppy with its tail between its legs. You blink up at him, nails digging into your palms to keep your composure. “Should I be?”

His tongue darts out to wet his lips, that same cocky smirk on his features. He knows what he’s doing, you think to yourself. He has you cornered and he’s using it to his advantage. The hand that isn’t holding his weight comes up to your face, fingers gliding along your jaw with a feather light touch. “No, I don’t think so. The only girl who’s attention I really care about is right where I want her.”

Your breathing stutters, halting in your throat and momentarily winding you. Choi San might very well be the death of you. Especially with that darkened look in his eyes, the chocolate brown color now resembling the night sky. His thumb swipes across your lower lip, letting it resume its original place. “What do— what do you mean by that?”

He was giving you a bone, a hint that he could potentially feel the same as you, but you wanted to hear him say it. You wanted the words to leave his mouth and verbally confirm that for you. Want wasn’t even good enough. You needed it. 

“There’s no way you don’t know,” San says, voice hushed. “No way that you don’t know how badly I’ve wanted you since first year.”

Something similar to a choked groan departs from you, your pulse racing in your ears, thumping beneath your chest. You’re too stunned to move, frozen in your spot in case this is all some fucked up dream. It doesn’t even occur to you that someone could walk in, doesn’t even cross your mind that you’re in too public of a setting for this conversation or where it could go. 

“I don’t— I didn’t…” Your eyes attempt to stay on his, but keep flickering down to his mouth. 

“It was so hard for me to play nice guy for so long,” he whispers, a pout adorning his expression. “And today? I couldn’t even stare at you shamelessly because of those damn girls. It’s so fucking annoying when they bother me while I’m trying to flirt with you. But since I’m Nice Guy San, I can’t be rude.”

“You flirt with me?” You snort, your shell shock wearing off and a goofy smile worming its way onto your face. He laughs along with you, tilting away to hide the warmth blooming on his cheeks. The tension is still present, but it’s a lot more bearable.

”I guess I’m not very good at it if you couldn’t even tell,” he glances down at his feet, the confident San from before long gone and now replaced by a bashful version. “Am I going crazy, or is this gonna go somewhere? I don’t want to misread anything and ruin what we already have. The ball is entirely in your court.”

It’s your turn to be shy, shrinking in on yourself slightly. Acknowledging that you had feelings for San was a separate can of worms. There was a big difference between him confessing to you and vice versa. You know if given the stage, you’d just start blabbering on and on about how you feel for him, and that would just be embarrassing for both of you. So instead you say, “Can I show you?”

When he nods, your fingers raise to his jaw, cupping it gently as you lean up. Your lips brush his softly, barely grazing them. His eyes flutter shut, a shiver running down his spine simply from your kiss. A pleasant buzz courses through your veins from your lips to the tips of your fingers. You’ve wanted this forever, you don’t think you could ever go back.

You pull back and San fists the fabric of your t-shirt on your waist, eyes still closed as he chases your mouth. “Fuck, Y/N, can I kiss you again?”

“Please,” you whine, enveloping your lips with his as soon as you get the green light. This time is desperate, noses bumping each other. You’re going lightheaded and dizzy, already intoxicated by him. Your back presses into the lockers behind you, arching into his chest for more. 

He deepens the kiss and it’s almost too much. You’re overwhelmed by the emotions taking control of you, not at all prepared for what would come with actually being with San. It had always been a distant fantasy, something that felt so completely out of reach that you didn’t dare let yourself indulge in the notion for too long. The way his lips lock with yours, fluidly and synchronously like missing pieces of a puzzle, you think you can die happily. 

“As hot as it would be to fuck you right here, I’d rather not get kicked out of this gym,” he chuckles breathlessly. “And since we’re both sweaty from working out, I think we could use a shower. Don’t you?”

You leave a kiss on the corner of his mouth, nodding frantically at his suggestion. Though you imagined your first time with San being in a bed, slow and sensual, you’d be so stupid to complain about this. Fucking in one of the gym showers, where anyone could hear you? Go big or go home. 

He scopes the area to ensure the coast is clear before hauling you into one of the stalls, dragging the curtain shut. You kiss roughly between removing articles of clothing, San turning on the water while his lips make quick work of your neck. Goosebumps form on your skin when the cool water hits it, your fingers combing through his wet hair as he sucks harsh marks into your collarbone and sternum. 

“You’re so gorgeous, babe,” he mutters into your skin, nipping lightly at the tops of your tits. One of his hands travels south, sliding through your folds with ease. He rubs tight circles into your clit, prodding at your entrance with his ring finger. “I need you to cum for me once before I fuck you for real, okay?”

“Mhm,” you moan quietly, hiking one of your legs around his waist. His finger pushes inside you to the knuckle and then curls. Your eyes all but roll to the back of your head, back arching off of the tiled wall. “Feels so good, San…”

“Yeah?” He smiles against your skin, trailing pecks up your neck and along your jawline. You whimper in his ear, cunt sucking in his finger greedily. He adds a second, the middle one, and applies pressure to your clit with the heel of his palm. The sight of you falling apart by his hand alone is sending blood rushing to his brain. 

Your body feels hot to the touch, risking a downwards glance at where his fingers disappear into your pussy. It forces another whine out of you, your head tossing back. You tug at the strands of hair that stick to the nape of his neck, steeling yourself the only way you can in this position. San just seemed to know you, to know exactly what you needed without you having to tell him. Either he was really good at guessing, or everything he did seemed to be perfect, because you’ve never climbed to the summit this quickly before. 

There’s a knot in the pit of your stomach that weaves itself tighter and tighter with each curl of his digits and each swirl of his thumb on your clit. You think you could cry from how attentive he was, from how determined he was to provide you pleasure. Your cunt contracts around his fingers, and he can sense the precipice of your orgasm, speeding up his pace. 

You squirm around in his hold, allowing him to spread apart your thighs so he can brush the pads of the digits buried inside of you up against that spongy sweet spot. You’re trembling now, nearing the edge of that familiar cliff. “San, baby, I’m— god— I’m so close,”

“Let go for me, my love.” He coos into the corner of your mouth, hushing your moans. He doesn’t slow his assault, inching you further and further towards your release like it was his own personal mission. That knot in your belly begins to unravel until it slips through your grasp completely, your orgasm rocking into you like a tidal wave. 

San aids you as you ride out your high, already spent before he’s even gotten the chance to be inside of you. He kisses you tenderly, pulling out his fingers with caution since you were still so sensitive. Your nails claw down his front, scratching his abdomen with a purpose. He shudders beneath you, lips curling up into another soft smile. 

“What?” You ask with a giggle, mirroring his expression when he wipes water from your face. 

“Nothing,” he shakes his head, grin unwavering. “You just look really pretty like this.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to get into my pants, Choi San.” You tease, yanking him down for a saccharine kiss. He reciprocates without hesitation, drawing his palm on your thigh so he can wrap it around his waist again. 

“Me? Never…” He laughs along your mouth. “Is it working, though?”

You roll your eyes playfully, reconnecting your lips. “Are you gonna fuck me for real now?”

“What kinda question is that?” He glides the tip of his cock between your folds, shutting you up instantaneously. He’s heavy where he sits, slipping the shaft through your lower lips. “I’m gonna fuck you so good, you forget where you are, baby.”

Before you can even let out another sound of appreciation, he’s stretching you out, cock thrusting up into your pussy without warning. You jump up a bit to hook your other leg around his hips so he’s supporting your whole weight. The new angle makes it easier for him to delve deeper in your cunt, his dick accessing places you’d never knew existed. 

After he’s sure you’ve adjusted to his length, he starts to move, pistoning in and out of you much more forcefully than he did with his fingers. Your lips part for a voluminous moan, but then you hear a group of loud girls entering the shower area and San slaps a hand over your mouth. He makes no effort to stop, fucking into you without a single care for the people on the other side of the shower curtain. 

“Did any of you see where San went? He disappeared so fast.” 

You recognize the voice as belonging to one of the girls who was openly flirting with San while you were working out. Not even needing to see her, you can picture the exaggerated pout on her face based on her tone alone. 

“He probably followed after that stupid bitch he’s always with.”

Your half lidded eyes meet San’s but he still pays no mind to them, digging his nails into your plush thighs. He pulls all the way out, just to slam his cock all the way back in. His pace leisures, but his power doesn’t, abusing your cunt with every snap of his hips. 

“I think I’m gonna ask him out next time I see him. I have to stake my claim before someone else does.”

He holds back a laugh, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. You drown out their conversation after that, too focused on the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls so deliciously to even worry about those idiot girls. Little did they know he was closer than they thought…

Thankfully, they leave not much longer after that, and he uncovers your mouth. You gasp for air, panting feverishly when he picks up his speed again. Your bottom lip quivers with a whine, too fucked out to conjugate words that make sense. 

“You’re taking me so well, baby. Taking me like a fucking princess,” San praises. He groans, water droplets slipping along the valleys of his sculpted chest and abdomen. It drips with every roll of his hips and every thrust of his cock into your pussy. This was what he had been building up to, what he’d been dreaming of for years. “Who’s fucking you like this?”

“Mmm,” you moan, supping him in deeper, further, as cavernous as humanly possible. “You, San— fuck— y-you are.”

You arch your back, sneaking a hand in the middle of the two of you and pressing the pads of your fingers harshly on your clit when you do so. San holds you closer to him so your pelvic bones nearly clash each time he punches into you. The change in depth that he fucks you has your cunt squelching, any semblance of coherent thought escaping you. 

Your vision goes blank, stars decorating the backs of your eyelids as your second orgasm blindsides you. Not a sound leaves you after it knocks into you, cumming with so much force you think you might pass out in San’s arms. When you’ve finished, you let out a guttural groan, walls fluttering around his cock. 

“Gonna cum— shit— where do—“ you interrupt him with a whimper. 

“Cum inside of me,” your begging tone has him spilling into you practically on command. He fills you up perfectly, a moan from deep within him reaching your ears. You both stay like that for a moment, skin sticking to the other’s due to the thin sheen of sweat coupled with the steam of the shower coating your bodies. 

You can feel the rise and fall of his chest when he breathes, one of your hands coming up to caress his back gently. He pulls out with a wince, palms resting on either side of you as he recuperates. He breathes through his nostrils, forehead glued to your shoulder. His hands rub up and down your sides soothingly. 

“It’s safe to assume you’re gonna turn that girl down when she asks you out, right?” You ask suddenly, attempting to diffuse whatever’s in the air between you now. San laughs into your shoulder. 

“Y/N, I’m turning down any girl who asks me out from now on,” he stands upright, biting his lip before kissing you gently. “I don’t think my girlfriend would appreciate that very much.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “Girlfriend?”

“Am I being too overzealous?” His nose scrunches up. 

“You’re being the right amount of zealous, I think,” you brush away a strand of wet hair that falls into his eyes. “But I think your ‘girlfriend’ would like it if you actually asked her to be your girlfriend.”

Choi San is the prettiest man you’ve ever set your sights on, but somehow, he looks even prettier smiling down at you after having sex with you in a gym shower. It’s a feat that should be considered illegal, and you should receive restitution for the distress it’s caused on your heart. 

“Will you be my girlfriend, Y/N?”

And well, maybe you’d deal with that later. It was kind of difficult to ignore that sparkle in his eyes, especially when it was directed at you. You nod without a second thought. 

“I would love nothing more.”

© yunhoszn. do not steal, claim, or repost. 

[beesmygod]

i had the most unbelievably frustrating conversation the other day over the complete failure of modern criticism to recognize the most basic forms of misogyny, especially in mainstream media, and how the inability to recognize these things was leading to a death in entertainment for young women that wasn’t regressive or insulting to their capabilities. the attempt to rehabilitate “twilight”, a novel in which the protagonist (who i am told has no personality or interests, outside of getting attention to boys, on purpose in order to act as a proxy for the reader) must choose between her family, her future, her dreams, her wants, and her desires or what her boyfriend wants, is an example.

“lore olympus” has drifted significantly from its original central contrived plot revolving around persephone maintaining her virginity (?!) so she can keep her college scholarship, but the original concept appeared to offer the female readership a choice: either stay in school or become the 19 year old object of sexual obsession of a man nearly 3x your age, which is good, because he will take care of you. the protagonist is a waifish, weak, emotional, perpetual victim of the world around her who needs men to com rescue her from even the mildest of situations.

inexplicable cult classic “jupiter ascending” revolves entirely around who she should marry. she does absolutely nothing in the entire movie except get shuffled from set piece to set piece as she must choose whether to marry the heterosexual buff dog man or the effeminate villain. tbh all of these properties are very similar to me in my head; they fail basic sniff tests but are gobbled up by masses who, i had thought, were more capable of discerning these concepts.

the inability to escape properties with these elements contributed significantly to my downward spiral as i became a teen/adult. there was a dawning horror that the number of avenues for success on my own were being deliberately made unavailable to me in order to keep an entire half of the population indebted to the other. that the expectation was not that i would get a job out of school, take care of myself, maybe meet someone along the way, maybe have a kid if it works out. i was supposed to get a degree, as a joke i guess or just to waste my time since i wasn’t REALLY supposed to get a real job, and then immediately i would be used as childcare/a live in maid because my interests were secondary to those of the man i was expected to marry (im also bi so that added another fun twist to it lol). my 20s and 30s were supposed to be used on children and taking care of my husband. this realization made it feel like i was trapped in a box that shrunk and shrunk and threatened to crush me under the pressure from all sides to be something i couldnt even comprehend people wanted to be.

pointing out the existence and proliferation of what, to me, are extremely basic concepts to reject as a feminist, causes people to launch into a type of defense that feels like it comes from another planet. accusations of puritanism, censorship, being the actual misogynist, etc. i dont know how to explain to people that pointing these things out, LIKE I AM DOING IN THIS POST LIKE THIS LEVEL OF DISCUSSION, is not a call for it to be banned or removed or changed or whatever. the purpose of bad art is to discuss it and learn from it. we’re supposed to dissect it and why it came into existence, not stomp out anything that isn’t flawlessly progressive.

if i didnt have anything to complain about i’d get bored lol. how is a critic supposed to criticize without criticism, you know.

[sualne]

Listen as someone who has been obsessed with vampires like my entire life (but not in a ooh there sexy way its like the symbolism man of what vampires can mean) i am a huge fan of your op vanpire au.

I know you just made a post with lore (amazing art btw) but is there anything else about the au you want to talk about. Id love to hear everything

there's a lot of things i want to talk about the au!! im going to use the frantic energy from the year to get myself some bravery and say some of it is inspired by my own experiences with hallucinations and delusion (dont ask about it pls), with the au i want to explore what it would be like having the person who changed you being very literally stuck with you.

i love stories where characters end up sharing a mind and/or body, i also really dont like when its just good person vs bad person, nuance is a lot more fun lol. the relationship luffy and mingo will be forced into stuck as they are is something important to me. mingo is an awful monster but since he can feel everything luffy does he ends up trying to teach him how to live as a vampire, how to take care of himself. im also very found of the concept of parasite (they're literally the worst thing ever and so fucking scary, so naturally they keep coming up in my stories).

it's also about luffy's body and mind failing him, because of the mindlink he has a hard time knowing where he is, sometimes who he is, what is relationships were supposed to be with others, it gets complicated for him! how hard it is to go through one's daily life when your sense are all messed up! (mingo also struggles with that a bit, but this isn't about him, even thought it's new for him too he get used to it much more easily for plot convenience).

other's ppl reaction to the situation also, i feel, completely unconsciously was also incidentally inspired by my own fear of being seen as a monster or dangerous, something to be put down or locked away!

there's also a few jokes in that lore post that reflects this here:

bugs are a pretty common brand of hallucination, be they crawling in the corner of your sight or inside you, making you feel like a walking hives, this was a funny reference to that!

"surprisingly he doesn't start biting people or become violent." this is my not very subtle "mentally ill and neurodivergent folks aren't inherently dangerous pls stop killing us". the occasional euphoria from bloodthist is vaguely inspired by some manic episode, the happy kind.

there's more, about the way this is about trauma and feeling alienated, i guess this is also a "character realize they've got a disorder/develop one and now has to live with it" kind of story.

[heavenlycloud]

you were my favorite person; ryujin x fem! reader

warnings: crying

she looked at you with a grin and you asked curiously, “you were relieved when i didn’t make it into itzy’s line up, weren’t you?” the glow in her eyes faded at the mention and her smile fell, and she just stared at you for a moment. memories replayed through her head of that day you failed your evaluation:

“y/n, you received the lowest score for the evaluation overall. please pack your things, you will be picked up in the morning to leave.” the words made your heart drop and it seemed like everything in the moment stopped. the urge to fall to your knees and beg for another chance through teary eyes was large. however, you accepted your failure, and you weren’t one to cry in company walls. you thanked the instructors quietly and left the room to begin preparing your leave.

knots formed in your stomach as you tried to think of ways to tell your roommate the news. no matter what you thought of saying, nothing was going to be easy about this. when you made it into your dorm, your roommates face lit up upon seeing you for the first time since this morning. she pulled you into a hug and beamed, “we’re one evaluation closer to debut!” you pushed her away lightly and shook your head, “i didn’t pass, ryu.”

ryujin stared at you waiting for a laugh, typical y/n fashion to prank her with something like this. however, when you didn’t show any signs of joking she grabbed your hands, “what? what? no. no no no we have to go back and i don’t know maybe if you do it again-” you stopped her, “im sorry i tried i really tried. i did the best i could but my best isn’t good enough for them anymore. can you just help me pack my things? please?” ryujin silently followed you into your bedroom and began pulling things from your wardrobe to fold away into suitcases.

it took a couple hours but eventually everything was packed away and your room showed no traces of your 3 year long presence. ryujin tugged you by the hand, “come on.” she led you to her room and you both climbed into her bed. you pulled her into your arms as her legs tangled with yours, your fingers raking through her hair softly. the two of you basked in the silence for a couple of minutes before you heard a sniff, “what am i supposed to do? i can’t- y/n i can’t do this without you. i need you.” you laughed and tried to joke, “i’m not dying ryujin. i’ll be a phone call away, plus we still go to the same school.” she refused, “that’s not the same and you know it. i need you with me.” you sighed and said, “you have me. i’m right here. i’ll be supporting you at every moment i can.”

ryujin admitted sadly, “i don’t want to sleep…i don’t want to wake up just for you to be gone in the morning.” you looked down at her and kissed the top of her head, “then we can stay up together.” for the next few hours you both stayed awake and just held one another, not bothering to say a word because you’d said enough.

ryujin whined to you at your sudden remark and you easily admitted, “i was in love with you back then…you were my favorite person.” she tilted her head to the side and said honestly, “that was my first genuine heartbreak. i didn’t know how much you meant to me until after you were gone. i had so many regrets over things i didn’t say and do when i had the chance.” you looked at the camera that was filming the both of you, and you added, “you have a chance today.” the director behind the camera laughed causing the rest of the crew and ryujin to laugh at the sudden remark.

ryujin winked at you and told you, “i might just take it. we’ll see.” you stared at her with pure adoration, “i guess we will.”

[cuntylittlesalmon]

I came across one of your posts criticising Delilah Green, and the radfem-esque rhetoric of Ashley Herring Blake's works. I agree, I completely despised her works. But every time one of my friends or I spoke about it, we were criticised on bookstagram and book twt. I was curious to know your thoughts on these books, if you are okay with it.

i am aaaaaaalways down to talk shit about bad books! i’ve felt completely isolated in the larger sapphic bookish spheres because i hated AHB’s work, i’m glad to have found another one of us 🫶

this’ll be under a cut because it’ll be incredibly long, as every instance of me criticizing these books has been

DGDC - delilah green doesn’t care

APDF - astrid parker doesn’t fail

AHB - ashley herring blake

SO!

these books suck. lmao. i don't think they're particularly interesting on the character-level, or the world-level, or the prose-level, or really anything at all. there are scenes here and there where i can see what AHB can do but she's too busy trying to seem like the funniest and the most progressive white cis woman out there--of course, without doing any of the actual work that comes with deconstructing the racist, transphobic, and homophobic ideology she grew up with as a person from the united states.

which leads me into my first complaint: everything to do with emery and their pronouns. every single thing in that scene felt like pandering, and the pronoun sharing aspect felt like word salad that needed to be edited down to a single sentence of "And then everyone else shared their pronouns". we're already deeply aware that every single person in this book sans emery is cis, i don't need that shoved into my face further with a cis woman expounding upon how she's terrified that she's going to fuck up somehow in sharing her own pronouns. unnecessary bullshit, since i'm guessing the point was to show that astrid is insecure, particularly around industry professionals, but with a slightly funny slant to it. this was not the place to show that, especially when there are so many other instances both before and after this part that show her anxieties better.

and frankly, in sharing this part with a friend, they thought it was astrid being insecure about getting emery's pronouns correct which....if your cute lil romcom protag can be see as an annoying and borderline transphobic cissie when they come face to face with a nonbinary person for the first time because your prose just sucks ass......maybe you shouldn't include that lol

and i think that leans in a lot to the "humor" of these books. at one point in ADPF, delilah makes a joke about fighting someone "like a lesbian", which in her eyes (and somewhat therefore AHB's eyes) means gazing disapprovingly at someone and making her mouth "look like a butthole" (paraphrasing, but not the butthole part. she really says butthole). i'm assuming this was supposed to be funny, but it fell so fucking flat with me. like, these books are supposed to be romcoms. romantic fucking comedies. but most of the humor is so deeply steeped in white millennialisms that it's actually unfunny unless you're like my gen x mother who spends 90% of her time on facebook.

which, i suppose that's my biggest gripe with the books, and with AHB herself. it's a lot of self-serving nonsense, with little to no introspection about why certain things are included versus not. i mean, i can say that about a lot of popular romance novels, but thats beside the point. there is no reckoning with institutions, despite all of the call backs to how rich people suck, or how white people suck, or how men suck. it's all so very wink-wink-nudge-nudge, "im in the know, can't you tell?", correct terminology wrong ideology kinda of stuff. ok yeah, white people as the institution suck. i think we all know that. but also, ashley, every single important character, every single side character (save a couple), and every single background character (save a couple), are all white. you are actively participating in the "white is default" ideology that you seemingly dislike and make fun of in your book. so which is it?

this disconnect between AHB's story choices (all white main cast, etc) and the prose-level choices is so fucking obvious throughout the entire body of both books:

the lesbian main characters cannot call themselves lesbians, but one will call themself dyke without a second thought.

the trans-positive lesbian main characters will talk about dating/being attracted to nonbinary people, but do not have any nonbinary friends, do not talk to any nonbinary people, and the one nonbinary character included thus far speaks one (maybe twice) just to give their pronouns.

the lesbian main characters call themselves butch (or are called so by other wlw (but not lesbian) characters) and yet are still conventionally feminine in their presentations.

men are the worst people in the world, and yet josh (an ex of claire from DGDC) is consistently trying to atone for his past harm, and within the story we're given, is like, an actually alright guy.

men are the worst people in the world, and yet the worst actions taken against iris was not by her ex-boyfriend, but by her butch girlfriend (which. i have a lot of thoughts on this).

the books say they believe one thing, but are never backed up with actually evidence that this is the case.

and so, when i say the books have some radfem-y bullshit in them, this is largely what im talking about. i have no clue if AHB herself is a radfem, or exactly what she believes in. im not combing through her twitter account because she as a person annoys me, and anyone promoting her work annoys me. but she is participating in some fucked up shit, and the fact that they are so beloved just makes my ass itch and i feel like i need to speak on it more than i already do now 💀

anyway. the radfem-y stuff.

the books use some pretty covert gender essentialism when it comes to the lesbian characters vs the bisexual woman characters. every single lesbian is said to be masculine (specifically butch) while every single bisexual woman (and every single ostensibly straight woman) is, while not called out as feminine, exclusively present femininely. which....is weird. i don't think i have to say why saving masculinity for lesbians (and men) is stereotypical, and kind of gross, especially coming from someone who isn't a lesbian.

but wait! its worse! masculinity (regardless of how prescriptive vs. descriptive it is) in these books are very much associated with emotionally unavailability and callousness toward the feminine (emotional) counterpart. and really, its even worse when you compare difference within the lesbian characters (delilah, jordan, and iris' girlfriend).

delilah and jordan, when you actually examine them, are feminine presenting. they both wear red lipstick, eyeliner "sharp enough to kill a man", and in delilah's case, heels. the most masculine aspects about them is that they don't wear skirts or dresses. literally. whereas, iris's girlfriend in APDF, who only wears suits, has short cropped hair, never wears makeup, and has a stereotypically masculine job. jordan and delilah are love interests. they're allowed to grow into emotionally available people by their love for their feminine partners. the butch girlfriend, however, is a cheating piece of shit who's entire point is to set up iris' storyline for the third book in the series (a role that could've been done just as well by her ex boyfriend, who she dated in DGDC, instead of what feels like a very pointed and spiteful subplot).

so, it becomes very clear to me that masculinity is the worst thing you can have in these books. none of the men are given grace either, and i touched on it a bit earlier talking about josh. he was flaky as hell with claire and their daughter before the events of DGDC, and so claire (and by extension, her friends iris and astrid) are wary of him when he comes back into her and her daughter's lives. but, for all of that, josh isn't flaky in the book. like he very much steps up to be a good dad to his daughter. is the best? no, obviously. i dont think AHB is capable of writing a "good" character. but he literally doesn't abandon anyone, despite us being constantly told that thats what he does, to the point that when he ends up being unreachable for a couple of days, every single character freaks out and treats him like a monster. iris fucking punches him for this, even though he actually had a good reason. and im not one to defend men like 💀 i am very much a manhater, but like. cmon. it feels entirely unearned. and its that disconnect again. AHB wants you to believe that josh deserves this because he's a man, so of course he's going to be terrible, its what men do, despite him, like, not being terrible.

(and its even worse in APDF, where astrid is literally disgusted to be in his presence point blank, period, even though hes been like. consistently a decent guy.)

and my last piece in this, is natasha rojas. the otherworldly sexy and gorgeous latina host of the reality show in APDF, who literally wears a clitoris necklace. like not only is it leaning on racist stereotyping, but she's the ultimate feminine who wears a literal piece of the vagina. yonic imagery is cool and everything (genuinely, there should be more!) but this is not only extremely heavy handed in a brick-to-the-face kind of way, but also as the Ultimate Feminine, she's this deeply warm and caring and nurturing person, who is never posited as a antagonist or anything despite her positioning as a literal corporate player for HGTV (the hallmark of home renovation. every fucking person on that network is some flavor of conservative). she very much could've been a stand in for the capitalist homogenization of the housing market that HGTV absolutely caters toward, especially when you take into consideration astrid original plan for the house that she's renovating (taking it from very classically victorian to white and grey contemporary), but instead she's positioned as a mouthpiece for the glory of the clit and female sexuality only. which is fucking frustrating. and so fucking weird.

but yeah. AHB has a very white millennial liberal queer view of gender and presentation and sexuality, which in and of itself is very essentialist. but she tries to play out of her biases as a white and cis woman by making in-narrative jokes about it, but they fall completely flat because she has no idea what she's doing, and thus perpetuates the exact same shit she's trying to make fun of. she's got a lot of unchecked bigotry rattling around in that empty brain of hers, which when you're trying to write a feminist book, leans itself to radfem & white feminist ideology (which. lbr. are the fucking same but whatever).

ik this was long as hell but ty everyone who made it to the end for reading 😤🙏💓

[raccoonfallsharder]

drax && mantis

okay maybe i am behind the curve and everyone else has already processed this but it's my first time i guess

so many people think drax is the "joke" of the guardians (honest question: who is not the joke of the guardians??) and i've definitely rambled and raved about how much i disagree before (the guardians would not have had a chance against ego without drax's relationship with mantis, and he is the first and maybe only person to offer rocket comfort after groot's death)

but since i was thinking about mantis thanks to @hyperjorts ' ask earlier, here is also this:

Drax: Those pools, they remind me of a time… when I took my daughter to the forgotten lakes of my homeworld. She was like you. Mantis: Disgusting? Drax: Innocent. Mantis: Drax? There’s something I must tell you.

for me this originally read as a point of empathy. mantis reaches out to drax and she is overwhelmed by his quiet sorrow and the depth of his loss. she weeps with him. she has been utterly alone for her entire life with only ego as her father, her ruler, her god - but she is moved to betray him because of what she feels in drax, and how much his grief touches her.

and i think this is true. i think i have always believed that sorrow is the place where our ability to empathize with each other has the most potential to be powerful, and i think this happens here between mantis and drax as equals and as friends.

but i think another thing is also happening here. because until now, mantis - stolen from her home planet in her larval state and, as far as she knows, orphaned by her family (though she only knows this because of ego, and i'm not sure he ever tells her how she was orphaned, if ya know what i mean; im just saying that if he killed his river lily he sure as hell isn't wasting scruples on anyone else) - mantis has only seen fatherhood as manifested by ego. she only knows of fathers as those who make and then use you, who discard you when it benefits them to do so, who have no care for the loss of your life beyond their disappointment in their progeny.

she only knows of fathers who create mass unmarked graves of their children.

and here's drax, who has made his entire life into a memorial for his stolen daughter. who mourns her still. who loves her still. whose every breath aches with the loss of her, and the loss of all the things she had yet to do, to see, to experience.

in this moment, mantis doesn't just empathize with drax. she sees everything that fatherhood is supposed to be, and everything ego lacks. she sees her dead siblings not as fodder for their father's plan but as children who were meant to be loved, children who were failed by someone who was meant to cherish them, children who were lost to their own real mothers and fathers throughout the universe.

she touches drax and she knows how a person is meant to love their offspring, meant to love their partner.

and she know that ego has only ever murdered his.

and now, for maybe the first time, she knows that it's wrong.

drax is so important. drax is so important. he always has been. i fucken love both of these precious little babies so much

[turtlecleric]

assumption - others have said in need of a hug (yes true) but also,

may not have been praised in the way that you deserved growing up and instead others tried to dim your light because they were envious or wanted to see you fail (->im here to tell you they suck ass. you're everything and more; skilled; determined; worthy; and i love you so so much and i am so so proud of you)

Did you know that I would die for you? Did you know that I love you so goddamn much? Did you?

This is way too much personal info that no one actually cares to know, probably, but. I'm sort of avoiding work on purpose at the moment and I'm having a really rough day. Who needs therapy when you have asks on Tumblr to rant in? (I'm joking, to be clear. Actual therapy is so valuable and important if you manage to find a competent professional who clicks well with you. The only reason I stopped going is because of Covid, time, and money.)

Warning: VERY long vent ahead, please do not feel obligated to read or respond

My dad was really good about praising me in ways that felt genuine, actually, though that made the times he /was/ upset with me all that much worse. My dad isn't perfect, and he's done some things and said some things that I'll never forgive, that I'll never be able to forget, but I would also do anything for him. I know he's there for me when I need it, I know he'll answer when I call, I know that he actually cares about me. He and maybe like two cousins are the only family I would never be able to cut off.

My mom... I guess it was just sort of the baseline bare minimum expectation that I would do things well, so when I /was/ praised it was just like... oh, good job sweetie! Proud of you! But it didn't feel... I don't know how to describe why but... I don't know. Now, when people tell me I do things well I always have that voice in my head that's like "they're just being nice, they don't actually think it's all that great, they expected you to do a much better job than this, actually, why did you even bother sharing? Why did you think this was something to be proud of?" I read way too far into things, interpreting neutral reactions, or even positive reactions that aren't as enthusiastic as I might have hoped for, as proof that people are simply being nice and don't really like what I do or make or say all that much. I always get stuck in this mindset that I'm not allowed to create mediocre content, like it all has to be Excellent or else it's Terrible.

I also remember in high school, posting some drawings on Facebook that I was really proud of. Two drawings, one with hands in chains and cut up and the other with healed hands glowing with holy light and cradling a cross. It was supposed to show the difference between life without God and life with God (I was... VERY religious as a teenager. I am now agnostic.), but she saw the first picture and freaked out, super pissed, yelling at me to take it down, to not embarrass her like that, because people were going to see that and think I was abused or depressed or something (haha... me? Depressed? Nahhhhh). And that was the moment when I knew I could never ever ever share anything even remotely dark with her, that if I ever were to express something that indicated I was anything other than good and happy and perfect then she would react similarly. She's also very judgemental regarding mental health, often made comments about how "people who are/do x are sick, there's just something wrong with them, make sure you stay away from people like that" while I'm sitting on the couch like... oof. That's me. So all my venting went to Tumblr where she couldn't see, and even now I mostly only vent on Tumblr and through writing. I have many wonderful friends that would gladly allow me to vent to them (I love you all so much I love you I love you I love you, thank you for being so kind), but I simply Cannot. I've had a friend before where it felt like all they did was complain, they were always so goddamn negative, and it became a chore to talk to them. I started to get angry every time they said or did something defeatist, I stopped enjoying talking or hanging out with them, and I refuse to be that person. Even if I'm told over and over that I don't come across that way, I'm so terrified of it that when I think about reaching out I start to think of that friend and about how I shouldn't bother people and I panic. Unless I've gotten to the point where I truly believe that nothing I do or say will ruin the friendship, then it's really hard to push through that fear. But that's so much harder than it used to be because I /did/ lose a friend that I thought I would have literally for the rest of my life, I was so 100% confident that we would be 80 years old still hanging out with each other and goofing around, so sure we could go through anything together and stay friends, I knew in my heart and soul that we would be friends until we died, and I was wrong. I was wrong. I also had a different friend who was always there for me, always praised me, always listened to me when I needed it and told me kind things and made sure I felt welcome and loved and viewed positively, and then he fucking assaulted me one night when he thought I was asleep.

Anyway. When I /did/ fail at things growing up, it was either punished more severely than necessary or straight up laughed at. Mom was very hot and cold, too, you could never tell what kind of mood she was going to be in that day. (She is still like this. It's well known in my family that you never know which version of her you're going to get.) Things are fine one moment and then suddenly I'm in trouble for something I didn't even realize I did wrong (like with the drawings), so I'm just. Terrified of not doing well enough at things, of disappointing people, of people being annoyed with me or upset with me over something I didn't even realize was rude or mean or wrong to begin with.

"Don't overstay your welcome; don't bother people" was pounded into my head. I can't express how often I start to say or type something and then think, "No one cares. Stop bothering people. You're being too much, you're being annoying, they're tired of you, just keep it to yourself." I'm working on it but. Yeah. Half the time I still just stop talking or backspace and stay quiet. Even typing this, I'm like... you should delete this. You're basically just begging for attention, and if anyone says anything about this to you then it'll only be because they felt obligated to and they're going to start seeing you as a whiny, pathetic, manipulative person, and they're going to get tired of you and roll their eyes every time you say anything, even if it's not you venting, or they'll see this and think about how stupid or weird it is for you to put this information out on the internet, and even this sentence right here is proof that they'd be right because you're aware of all these thoughts and you're still doing it.

But then another part of me thinks that if I can't even vent on my own blog on a post that literally no one is required to read that is also hidden under a readmore and clearly states that it's a vent post, then where /can/ I vent? And if someone else posted this, would I be this harsh on them? And what's so wrong with seeking attention and comfort? Why is that unforgivable in yourself but admirable in others? Why are you crying at work? Why aren't you doing your job? Why aren't you better? Why aren't you better?

[inciting-chaos-series]

The Night Shift: Chapter Three

If you'd like to be tagged when new chapters are posted let me know! -Ghostiewvlf

✦✦Update: Edited slightly :) -Ghostiewvlf

✦ The Night Shift Masterpost ✦

➢ Tag List: @valleys

➢Author: Ghostiewvlf & JTheGhost ➢ Rating: Mature ➢ Pairings: Corpse X reader | Corpse X y/n ➢ Themes: Slow Burn | Coworkers To Lovers | Angst | Holiday | Mutual Pining | Fluff | Smut? | Hurt/Comfort | Soulmates | Fake Relationships | Miscommunication | Forced Proximity | Found Family | ➢ Warnings: Crude Humor | Suicidal Jokes/Ideation | Drinking | Smoking |

➢Summary:

You work the night shift at a local dog kennel for boarding and daycare. You love the peace and quiet of the shift, but just when you get comfortable- a few break-ins happen around town, and upper management decides to place your quiet, brooding, shift lead on the schedule with you.

☽✧ Chapter Three: Musically In Tune ✧☾

-Y/N POV-

Your second class wasn't supposed to start for another fifteen minutes, but you really didn't have the energy to get out of bed. You hated that you only had one day off work, sure your job was alright, but using your other day off as the day to schedule all your classes was really not the move, because now you didn't want to attend the lectures. The text that popped up on your phone didn't help focusing much either. Why was he texting you? Did he want you to come in on your day off?

Logan 🐺:

Hows school nerd?

“Weird” You said aloud, laughing to yourself as the small adrenaline rush of having to come in dissipated.

You:

Not exactly better than work, but not worse 

Logan 🐺:

I can always call you in for an ‘emergency’ haha

You:

No thanks! Lol

Next thing you knew your phone was flooding with sad cat memes about school. Your face quickly started to ache from laughing so much. 

Logan 🐺:

Don’t tell the boss im memeing on company time

You:

You are my boss stupid 

Logan 🐺:

Oh, yeah… guess I am ;) 

It was so bizarre seeing this side of him. In just a week he had gone from this “quiet shift lead that no one really wants to talk to” to “coworker that you look forward to working with everyday” to now, acquaintances? Friends? You didn't really know. It was hard for you to draw lines between stages of friendship at work. Maybe he was just being nice to make you feel more comfortable around him? 

Logan 🐺:

So… what class are you in right now?

You:

Just about to start music theory 

Logan 🐺:

RIP haha

Need any help studying? I’m pretty good with music 

You:

I might take you up on that actually lol 

I never have time for this class so now im nearly failing

Logan 🐺:

Bring your stuff next shift and we’ll work on it :)

You:

Thank youuuu :’)

You turned the screen off on your phone and tried your best to pay attention during your lecture, but you couldn't shake the nervous energy you had built up thinking about the next shift working with him. 

It didn't take long for the next workday to arrive. You had barely slept at all, staying up studying and trying to catch up in your other courses was beginning to take a toll on you. You arrived barely on time for your shift, quickly getting the usual updates from departing day staff before clocking in. You headed into the break room and set your things down before collapsing into the seat and catching your breath. You’d just barely remembered to grab your music theory notes and homework, collecting them in a rush and making you run just enough behind that you’d be late if you picked up food for the shift. At least you would be able to get some help from Logan tonight though and hopefully your next exam would go over better than the last. 

The day shift quickly finished up and clocked out. Logan seemed to be running a bit late, so once everyone else had clocked out and left you began the duties of the night. You were on your second rotation of letting dogs out when you heard his car pull up, so you didn't turn to look when you heard the backdoor open and a few more dogs run out. You continued playing with one of the more shy dogs that was boarding for the night and watched to make sure everyone was getting along.

“Hey there.” You felt a warm hand on your back, a sharp contrast with the bite in the cold fall air. You tried to ignore the nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach acting up. 

“Oh hey!” a slightly-too-loud laugh falling from your lips. 

“I stopped at Starbucks and got us some coffee.” An uneven smile painted his face, making him look almost comical with his cold bitten nose and pale skin, along with those signature dark circles under his eyes. 

“Oh wow, thank you! I was running late and wasn't able to stop for anything today.” You smiled and accepted the warm cup and took an eager sip, grateful to have some caffeine for the night. 

“Oh huh, perfect timing I guess? You're welcome.” He chuckled and offered a smile just as warm as the cup in your hands. “I can order some food or snacks later too.” He took a sip of his own cup and huffed, his breath forming a small cloud in front of him due to the freezing temperature. As much as you despised the cold and how it made your already poor circulation in your hands feel like pins and needles, you did really love the aesthetics of it: the clouds of breath, the way it made faces redden, the smell that was draped across everything the night before a big thunderstorm or heavy snowfall, the oversized hoodies and layered outfits that everyone seemed buried in, big boots with chunky socks- it was all very comforting in a way, it seemed to round out the edges in a very sharp world.

The night went by much the same as it began. There was a very comforting feeling about the weather and the mood that you were both in, even the dogs seemed very subdued. Time seemed to go by a bit slower, which you happily welcomed after weeks of vigorous study. 

Though time seemed to be lulling along peacefully, you got your nightly duties done in record time. You blamed the unusually well behaved dogs. It wasn't long before you were both sitting at the front desk again, joking around and playing some light music. He hesitantly showed you a few of his favorite bands. You assumed his apprehension was from fear of judgment. Lucky for him, you both enjoyed darker, more melancholy music. 

You both listened to his Spotify playlist while he helped you on your coursework. You bopped along to several songs you recognized as he read through your work. BONES, Xavier Wulf, and several other artists played softly through the speakers. 

“Mm, yeah not this one…” You sheepishly laughed as you clicked skip on Cholesterol, not needing to feel too melancholic tonight. He merely chuckled and nodded with firm agreement. You were surprised by his knowledge about music, he helped you get through the entirety of your homework, as well as explained a bunch of the questions you’d missed on the last exam you brought with you. 

“How do you know all this? I feel like you know more than my professor honestly…” You laughed as you finished up the last question and shut your notebook. He’d managed to explain everything all in a way that was actually making sense to you. He’d even related back to songs that played out softly on the speakers and used them as examples to the concepts. 

“I sincerely fucking doubt that…” He chuckled tiredly. “I just- know music I guess… I spend a lot of time with and around it, I uh-  I’ve even made a couple songs myself…” You smiled as you caught the red tint on his heated cheeks.

“Wait really?” You gave him a surprised look. 

“Yeah, I don’t know if they're any good, but I like making them.” He shrugged and passed you the keyboard  and mouse to play music. 

“Can I hear one?” You pried, making him slump into his chair further and groan softly.  

“Ahh I don’t know, y/n…” He huffed and rolled his eyes playfully. “I haven't really shown anyone, but I guess if you promise to not make fun of me…” he turned slightly and narrowed his eyes at you, “...or tell anyone here-  maybe I’ll bring my computer next time or something…” 

“Hmm, we’ll see…” You squinted back, jokingly challenging him before laughing.

“I’ll write you up I swear to god y/n…” He joked back, laughing along with you. 

“OoOkay boss man…”

➢ Links:

✦ Fics Masterlist ✦ The Night Shift Masterpost ✦ ✦ AO3 ✦ Wattpad ✦ Art ✦ ✦ Requests Masterpost & Guidelines ✦ Request Trope List ✦ 。:゜:.*∵✧∵ ☽ Submit A Request ☾∵✧∵*:.゜: 。

[heisamarvelouspersona]

Childs Play - Modern AU

summary: honestly just a sh!tty little oneshot ab the gang watching a horror movie w reader lmao. couple hints to a relationship between Arthur & reader. could just be a friendship tho. I've never written an AU before so i really hope i keep everyone in character <3

(also ik the chucky movies arent scary like at all but the thought of john and sean arguing over who looks more like the scarred-faced ginger killer doll made me giggle)

"oi Marston, he's got a mug almost as ugly as yours!"

"me? im not the one with the unruly carrot top. thats the real horror here,"

Sean and John continue to joke and yell over the film, in a feeble attempt to act less scared, makes it hard to believe them when theyre both clutched to Lenny and Abigail like little kids on their first day of school. Sean had orignially been cowering behind Karen (though he swore he was protecting her from the totally fictional horror movie) until she had become fed up with his whining and slapped him upside the head. "ruining the goddamn movie with your muttering," she had mumbled, leaving poor young Lenny to comfort the redhead alone.

Her decision to seat herself on the (what she thought to be) more mature of the two couch groups, alongside yourself, Arthur, Molly, Dutch and Hosea, had proven to be the wrong choice - trading in dumb and dumbers crys and whines for Dutches painful, painful, old man movie talk

"So who sent the doll to the house then?"

"we dont know Dutch,"

"Now who's bowl has the poison in it?"

"we dont know Dutch, thats the point."

"Now that Husbands gonna get caught with the nanny, its obvious. such bad writing,"

"...oh...it was the wife,"

Molly has her head in her hand, finding herself envying the helpless dead victims from the movie, who dont have to listen to her partners consistent rambling. Hosea and Arthur have both grown accustomed to this by now, seemingly fully immersed in the film as if there were no distractions.

you feel an eager tap on your leg,

"hey y/n - is this the one with the crazy doll porn?"

you lean down from the couch to the floor where Javier is sat, with his body turned to you, but his eyes still fully focused on the film infront of him.

"no, no. thats 'seed of chucky' this is 'curse of chucky',"

a mix of both disappointed mutters a sighs of relief come from the floor group, comprising of Javier, Charles, Sean (who has now been quite literally kicked off the couch by Lenny), Trelawney, and Uncle.

There were a total of six 'groups' during VDL gang movie nights. the two couch groups - comprised of those who could, and those who couldn't behave. the floor group, the dining table group - which was mostly just Mary-Beth gushing over the romantic undertones of every film, Ms Grimshaw, Pearson and Strauss - drinking red wine in the kitchen and chatting shit, and finally Micah - who is usually kicked out of the living room, to make sure that he wasn't "getting any ideas", as Arthur would put it.

By this point, everyone who wasn't talking or scared shitless was slowly falling asleep, Abigail somehow snoozing through Johns constant complaints. Arthurs eyes were lidded shut, his head leaning back. you nudge him every few minutes,

"yknow you can go rest - dont have to sit through this shitshow with the rest of us,"

"no, no, I'm just restin' my eyes is all," he'd swear.

"can't quite leave you to watch this scary picture all by yourself now can i?"

You couldn't help but chuckle at his old-man excuse for having his eyes closed, rolling your eyes at him, you accept his answer. You both know you aren't the type to get scared by a cheap slasher flick, but you were endeared by his supposed reasoning.

The film was coming to an end now and even Dutch had quietened down now, an arm around molly and his face plastered with a triumphant grin - he had successfully guessed the ending to the film, like he so often did. There was popcorn scattered over the floor (and mostly in Charles' hair) from Seans failed attempt at starting a food fight.

John had gotten over his fears (lectured by Abigail during the snack break about how getting scared of a Doll would set a bad example for Jack) he was now totally hyping up the film, muttering Chuckys one-liners under his breath and laughing to himself over it.

Charles inched toward the DVD player, case in hand as he dejected the disc that was playing.

"Are we putting on the next one?"

no. you were absolutely not.

A/N: i didnt know how to end this. honestly this is mostly just self indulgence bc i desperately miss watching horror movies w big groups of people </3. might make a part 2?

[little-nugget-writes-stufff]

Sagau lovers, food is here.

Kaeya x reader

Warnings: yandere kaeya?

Deff angst haha

3..2..1...Welcome home

Yep your parents were acting like wild teenagers again (not going into details haha) this year you werent putting up with their bs so you just blast your music and start up Genshin on your phone.

It appears you had lost count of the time because when you looked up at the clock it said 11 pm. Oh shit- you thought. You quickly switched the tv channel to the one were it views the timer and got back to the game. What you failed to notice was that the active character, kaeya was smiling Nononono grinning is a better way to put it

Kaeya's pov

'Hmm albedo told me to try and keep them busy untill 12. Well that shouldnt be so hard' he thought. To him it was so amusing how quickly he got you distracted by "new mail" wich said the following

Why it has been an amazing year has it not traveler? Unfortunately i got drowned in the paperwork and cant really celebrate it.. hehe but if you wouldnt want that, i suppose you could try and help me out a bit? Ofcourse if you Arent interested then thats fine because the Honary knight must have more important stuff to do. Anyways i must wish you an amazing new year

-kaeya

Oh? How strange? Well what do we have to lose huh? You thought. So you put in the effort to finish the mission and got 40 Primos. Hah nice :D but maybe i should close the game. He heard you say. Oh no dear that couldnt be happening right? But wait. Usually you took his idle chats to heart (as a joke ofcourse but it kept you entertained) oh i didn't know you were such a slacker? ExCuSe Me? Oh how he loved your voice. And soon he could hear it right next to him.

Soon.

Very soon.

.

.

.

.

.

Oh look at the time kaeya you laughed. Your parents had already left the room. Well it seems we are spending it together i guess You said with a smile. Oh how true that actually was.

3

.

.

2

.

.

1

.

.

And suddenly your vision went blank.

.

.

.

Oh look! their starting to wake up, how wonderfull

.

.

Dont startle them kaeya

.

Who tf was kaeya?. Your brain failed to connect the dots once again. But you didn't know a kaeya? Or did you??

.

When you opened your eyes you saw a pair of yellow eyes and one blue eye. Ah welcome Home Y/n! Before you realised what was going on you were suddenly in his arms. Kaeya?.. What is going on?... Oh how delightful! You said his name!

Yes darling?

Where am i?

Your home.

Home?

Home..

Ur new golden cage.

HAAH HAPPY NEW YEARS PEOPE :D

I hope next year is gonna be amazing for all of you

And if people forgot to tell you

your amazing and im so so proud of you

<3

[who-is-shades]

raz dnd 33

theres a knock at the door. being summoned by the archfey. parsley dont make it difficult shes gonna kill us. this can only go well. shes still only speaking sylvain fucker. she'll repair his wings in exchange to keeping him here, fucker. she'll also void teya's contract wtf.

raz you know the dm isnt supposed to win yeah? i hate lawyers.

parsley plays dumb about teya xD hes contractionally to leave. he will die. 'you can be easily resurrected.' he says shes not dear to him. hate her ass! stop looking at teya! you can keep the mom pretend teya isnt here. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE JAR IS BREAKING?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU NEED 3 MORE KIDS?! SUNNIE?!?!?! WEVE BEEN HERE A WEEK?!

parsley says its debatable if shes teya. technically teya is now a clone so. like. she accepts this but uhhh. is the plan to. kill sunnie? senna can only rez him within a minute with physical touch. shes taunting teya fucker. parsley fills the rest of us in on this shit. NO YOU CANT KEEP SUNNIE YOU FUCKER.

teya, dont hidden step. their gonna hurt sunnie if she keeps being a little shit. ngl this isnt fun. um yeah. headspace having bad time.

teya puts on an act to beg queen bitch to let her hug sunnie goodbye. epic fail. parsley jumps in and says "shes a mundane what could it hurt." teya puts on the sniffles and the queen allows it while insulting parsley.

teya uses feign death on him and he collapses on her. the guards yank her away and he just drops to the ground. queen has an eye twitch haha. since hes of no use she just. blows teyas mom away and says the contract was a waste xD.

shit she wants the body why. she gives up the body nice. zen really believes sunnie is dead :( teya didnt tell us anything xD wheatley tells parsley we should just go were not getting help here. parsley asks what she even wants from having him back here. making up for the failed marriage for one. and keep him here, like whatever lady.

parsley thinks theres a way they can both get what they want. 'im listening~' fix his wings and let him kill zorbolt, he will come back and make up for what he did. NOT staying, but they can arrange that details. she says 'until I consider you made up for what you did.' 'depends on what you would have me do.' theyll work the details later. also if he doesnt come back his wings will fail.

end of journey is killing zorbolt and getting what is owed to parsley. shes adding us into this deal wtf? she wants us to deal with the robots in the woods? he explains that dealing with zorbolt will stop the bots so it should be good. she wants it done now tho like lady we cant get in the woods. metal animals? something covered in eyes?

also after parsleys deal is done he can come and go as he pleases as long as he doesnt get in the way. deal taken! magical contract! rosemary fixes his wings. but we also still think sunnie is dead and have to go into the woods. parsley quickly puts in a good word for fiddlefink xD basil screams for parsley to visit xD his dad calls him impressive!

senna calls sadly to teya. a guard walks up and says he will lead us to the problem. senna says prayers for sunnie as they follow the guard. parsley tells us about what we gotta fight. senna guesses it might be a beholder. follow the path and itll get close to the creatures.

teya wakes up sunnie! rejoice! senna calls teya a genius xD time to yell at sunnie for coming to the feywilds! senna casts presti on him hes so dirty. he got robbed by goblins wtf xD parsley turns into teya for a joke and teya gets her name back nice!

[fluffytriceratops]

𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 - 𝐚. 𝐦𝐢𝐲𝐚 [chapter one]

chapter one: "𝚖𝚛𝚜 𝚔𝚠𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚊𝚛 𝚍𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚢."

notes: i'm not in uni so i don't know what i'm talking about most of the time huehue

chapter two: "bootymeat."

««•◦ ✪ ◦•»»

Friday, 2:28 pm.

y/n

guess who failed her mid terms??

*le cry*  

bokubro

wtf tell me you're joking-

tsukitsuki

i can't say i'm surprised

kendoll

we knew it was going to happen eventually

no one should be surprised at this point

tetsu

wth?! even after all my tutoring??

y/n

well fuck you guys too-

thanks for the support, dickheads

bokubro

hey!! what about me?? 😭😭

y/n

not you bo, you're such a bean i luv you 🥰  

bokubro

AHH I LUVE YOU TOOO SDJdfj 🥰🥰🥰

kendoll

you guys disgust me

tsukitsuki

i dont have the patience for this

y/n

eat shit

queen keiji

aren't we forgetting something? are we just going to let her off the hook that easily?

tetsu

HOW DID YOU FAIL YOUR MIDTERMS

tsukitsuki

cuz she's an idiot

y/n

shut up string bean!

and technically i only failed one class-

but i just barley passed in most of the other's so..

👁👄👁👌✨

queen keiji

but i thought kuroo was helping you study?

bokubro

yeah! and you sounded so sure of yourself earlier

tetsu

don't blame this on me, she did this to herself

you guys sit with her for hours on end trying to get her to focus. it aint an easy task.

y/n

he was- i'm not even going to try to lie, he's right 🥲

kendoll

like i said, stupid

y/n

kenma i swear--- i will destroy your village in minecraft dont test me

👺👺👺

kendoll

not my fault you have half a brain cell

tsukitsuki

didn't you help build that village?

y/n

fuck you guys

i'm going out to eat sushi & boba and i'm not bringing any of you 🖕

bokubro

heyy!!!

WHAT ABOUT ME

queen keiji

excuse me??

tetsu

RUDEEEE

y/n

BESIDES YOU THREE ofc 💕

tetsu aren't you in class rn? and bo do you not have practice soon??

tetsu

yeah but we're just reviewing stuff from monday

plus it'll be over soon

bokubro

shit i nearly forgot

wait for ME???

pPLEASE?

kendoll

i want boba

tsukitsuki

i want sushi

y/n

well too fucking bad you guys can eat shit

soggy anus's

tsukitsuki

do you not have class in half an hour?

kendoll

soggy anus's? the fuck y/n

y/n

i can eat fast

bokubro

NOOO WAIT FOR ME

PLESSEAE

testu

WAIT FOR ME TOOO

queen keiji

i would also like you to wait for me

y/n

UGHHGHGH

FINEEE

but no kenma or tsukishima, they can suck my toes

tsukitsuki

that's fucking disgusting

is that some weird kink of yours?

kendoll

i change my mind

i don't want to go out with you anyway

bokubro

wait actually?

y/n are you into that stuff?

kendoll

i wouldn't put it past her, she's probably into all kinds of weird shit

y/n

EWW NO

SHUT UP YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT

tsukitsuki

how am i supposed to know what you meant?

i think what you want is pretty clear, nasty hoe

queen keiji

if you guys don't stop pissing her off none of us are going to be able to go

tsukitsuki

idc i'll go out with kozume

kendoll

i'd be up for that

bokubro

WAIT I WANNA COME TOO

y/n

THATs IT I"M GOING TO GET FOOD NOW PISS OFF FUCKERS

BO YOU FKCING TRAITOR

queen keiji

what did i say

tsukitsuki

idc either way

kendoll

i hope you choke

bokubro

NO WAIT Y/N IM SORRYRY

tetsu

wait y/n my class is over in like 2 minutes

let me come with!!  

y/n

KISS MY ASS

except for kaashi and tetsu💕

and ye- i'll wait for you i'm outside of my english classroom

kendoll

ew no

i knew you were into some nasty shit

bokubro

Y/N NOO

I"M SOWWRY

I DIDNT MEAN ITTTT

tetsu

alright, i'm leaving now!

y/n

thats your punishment for betraying me

now you know how it feels

keiji are you able to come now too?

kendoll

don't worry bo, you can come with us

tsukitsuki

exactly you don't want to hang out with her anyway

we're better

y/n

fuck you!

bo don't go! if you don't go i'll come pick you up after practice with food! anything you want, my treat!

queen keiji

i can't rn, i am also in class but if you're going to bring bokuto food, can you bring me some too please?

bokubro

does this mean you're not mad at me anymore ?

kendoll

dont fall for it bokuto!

tsukitsuki

yeah, come with us

y/n

bo i could never be mad at you!!! i love you so much~! 🥰🥰🥰

and sure, i'll get you something too keiji ^^  

queen keiji

alright, thank you 🙂

bokubro

I LOVE YOU TOOO DFSJDF 🥰🥰🥰 get me something with LOTS of meat please!!

y/n

okie! keiji do you have a preference on what you want?

tetsu

okay im back im with y/n now

kendoll

you don't have to tell us that

tetsu

i wanted to 😎

tsukitsuki

that emoji doesn't even make sense

tetsu

yes it does!

queen keiji

not really. you know what i like i trust you.

bokubro

ahh i gotta go now! ill see you later y/n!!

y/n

alrighty! see you soonish bo!!

tetsu

bye bo!

queen keiji

have fun at practise

bokubro

byeee! and thanks akaashi, I will 😊

y/n aight losers we're off i shall see you at home

tsukitsuki

or you could move out

y/n

shut up prick you're gonna see my hobo ass whether you want to or not

kendoll

we'd rather not

Friday, 3:56 pm.

y/n

mrs kwan is my sugar daddy

tsukitsuki

what the fuck

kendoll

as in the babysitter from cat in the hat?

tetsu

i just cackled so loudly- everyone is starring as me

y/n

yeah that's her 🥰

queen keiji

i don't know how to feel about this

kendoll

idk if i should be concerned or not

tsukitsuki

there is something mentally wrong with you

tetsu

im all for it, id smash

tsukitsuki

any sliver of respect i had for you is gone

y/n

ikr? she's such a hottie 😏🥵 tsuki doesn't know what he's missing

tetsu

clearly 🥵

tsukitsuki

that's it im changing the locks when i get home

kendoll

I'll help you

queen keiji

y/n aren't you in class rn? pay attention

y/n

okay okay!

...

would you smash kaashi?

tetsu

we need a tie breaker

queen keiji

...

yeah, sure

tsukitsuki

ive never been more disappointed

kendoll

agreed

gru is better

tsukitsuki

i hate you all

Friday, 6:18 pm.

bokubro

what'd i miss? 😂 dunno who she is imma look her up—

ohhh! yeah id smash 👁👄👁🤌✨

[babysungs]

[eleven] in every cosmos | han jisung smau

11 - grafias

words : 1.7k

prev | au masterlist | next

a/n : omg a double upload from user babysungs :o my brain was going crazy about writing this part and i coukdnt help myself!! bit of a longer written chapter but i think its worth it :) i didnt edit it too much so i hope there arent many mistakes!! enjoy :)

Opening the door to the restaurant you were expecting many more people than there were, only seeing two people, but you supposed that it was for the better. Big crowds werent really your thing anyway.

hey binnie!! im here waiting for you :)

No response.

I guess its to be expected, you were here about thirty minutes earlier than you were supposed to be. He was probably just leaving his apartment. Still, you couldnt help but be weary at the fact that he hadnt bothered to read your message.

Thirty minutes. Thirty minutes had gone by without a single message from changbin. Surely he should be here soon, unless he wasnt planning on coming at all. You were confused and a tiny bit hurt, failing miserably at not jumping to conclusions way too early. Were you being stood up? Could you even be stood up if this wasnt a date? Had he found out about your affection towards him and now wants to make a joke out of you? What exactly was going o-

Ding.

The door had opened. You looked up in anticipation, praying desperately to see Changbin walk through the clear glass door that you had been watching like a hawk for the longest thirty minutes of your life.

… Jisung? you thought to yourself

Great, first you get stood up then the one person who manages to make you feel like shit at every encounter shows up. Just fucking great.

“What are you doing here?” Jisung questions, putting an emphasis on the “you” as if you werent allowed to eat in public. “Waiting for your little boyfriend I assume.”

“What? What boyfriend?” You had never been more confused in your life. Since when did you have a boyfriend?

“Yeah. Your boyfriend. Changbin?”

You couldn’t help but become a bit flushed at the thought of Changbin bein considered your boyfriend, though it like would never happen.

“Jisung what the fuck are you talking about right now? Changbin is not my boyfriend” you shoot back starting to get annoyed.

“Oh dont act like you two arent together. I should have known since the first day I saw you guys on a date at that stupid cafe.” Jisung was also starting to get annoyed. How could you and Changbin keep denying your relationship when he had seen it for himself?

“Dude we had JUST met that day. We didnt even know each other”

“Yeah I call bullshit but sure.”

“Okay you know fucking what Jisung-“ you started, completely ready to rip the taller brunette to shreds at this point though you were interrupted.

“Alright calm down lets not overreact please.” That voice was all too familiar.

“Changbin??? What the fuck are you doing here I thought you were standing me up!” you were completely enraged at this point. Not only had Jisung riled you up but now Changbin was standing here acting as if he hadnt kept you waiting for what felt like hours?

“Y/n, I didnt stand you up I promise,” Changbin starts, “please just let me and seungmin explain before you chop my head off.”

“Seungmin what the fuck dude??” Jisung was equally as stunned and not-so-equally as enraged as you were.

“Ji just shut up and listen to Changbin please.”

Everyone got quiet allowing Changbin the floor to explain what kind of weird misunderstanding they were in now.

“You and Y/n have some weird beef with each other that you need to talk about. I think you both have some misconceptions about each other and you need to work them out now because constantly being in the middle of this is so tiring. I hate fighting with either of you to defend the other when both of you are my closest friends.”

Friends. Right. The word stings in your chest as you had almost forgotten what you were to Changbin. His friend, nothing more nothing less.

“Oh whatever you cant force me to talk to them.” Jisung spits, pulling you out of your own head.

“Trust me I dont want to be here more than you do.”

“See. That right there. It needs to stop” Changbin continues visibly aggravated, “youre both staying here until you can work out whatever weird fucking tension there is between you.”

Changbin and Seungmin walk towards the door leaving you and a very confused and peeved Jisung standing closer than you realize at first.

“We’re locking you in. Please try talk it out and try to get along” Changbin says as hes locking the door.

“Where did you even get the key???”

“I rented the place out for a day. Good luck!” He throws two thumbs up and walks away with Seungmin.

Great.

“Dickheads” Jisung mutters under his breath, “why do I have to be stuck here with you.”

Now you were seriously getting upset. It wasnt even anger, just pure sadness at the fact that one of your biggest idols, the man you looked up to and loved most out of any musician to walk the earth, hated you so much he regarded you amongst the trash of the earth. He held such disdain for you and you had no idea why.

“Jisung. Why do you hate me so much? What have I done?” you ask desperately trying not to let the tears slip

“Are you serious?” he scoffs, until he looks at you and sees the deadly serious expression on your exhausted face. “.. Fine. I hate you because not only did you completely ignore my existence when Changbin first brought you to the studio, you also stole him from us. He stopped hanging out with us to hang out with you all the time until I called him out for it. I get youre his partner but fucks sake he needs to make time for his best friends and music partners too.”

Jisung watched as your face went from serious to utterly confused when he started explaining. It mad him even more mad at you, how could you be such a terror in his life and act like you dont know anything about it?

“I think Changbin was right when he said there were big misunderstandings between us.” Jisung scoffed loudly at your start, not believing you for a second. “Jisung let me finish before you blow everything im about to say off. Please.”

You saw Jisungs expression change as he settled himself into the booth you were both sitting at. “Alright fine. Go ahead.”

“Thank you. For starters, I didnt ignore you. I said hi to you and tried to talk to you several times but you either just didnt answer or couldnt hear me. But I tried really hard to make conversation and get to know you, I would never in a million years pass up the chance to befriend my favorite musician in the world”

Jisung did not expect those words to come out of your mouth in a million years. He could feel his heartbeat pick up a bit, choosing to ignore it as if it werent happening. “And Im not dating Changbin. At all. We’re honestly just good friends and even if i were dating him, strong if, I would never take up all of his time especially when I know how important your friendship is and how busy you guys get. That is not the type of person I am at all and maybe you could never come to like me or be friends with me but please dont think of me so harshly. I really didnt mean to make you feel that way about me. Im sorry.”

He was dumbfounded. Truly blown away at the fact that he was so quick to judge you and hate you for something that was completely his fault, and that you were the one who felt bad and even apologized. Jisung realized what an asshole he had been to someone who did not deserve it in the slightest.

“Y/n I-“ you quickly cut him off, not prepared to be berated by him again.

“Please dont say anything I understand you dont like me but I cant take-“

“Let me finish.” Jisung had gently rested his hand on your forearm, which had been laying on the table. His hands were so soft and he was holding your arm so tenderly- wait. Why is your heart racing so fast? He noticed your flushed face and eyes that kept glancing at his hand on you and he couldnt help but smile to himself a bit.

You nodded your head, signaling to Jisung that he could continue.

“I was going to say Im sorry. I had no idea that I was the problem this whole time and treated you so badly for nothing. Truthfully I felt bad about being mean to you because I thought you actually could be nice but I was stubborn and felt like you deserved my hate. I am so sorry.”

“Oh … its okay. Thank you for apologizing.” Your voice had gone quiet, not expecting Jisung to be so warm and kind to you. You tried relentlessly to ignore the roaring butterflies in your stomach.

“Of course. So ..” the man started, smiling to himself a bit, “your favorite musician in the whole world huh?”

Shit. You didnt even realize you said that. You could feel his confidence dripping from that stupid smirk on his face.

“Pffft whaaaat who said that that wasnt me I dont even know you who are you again?”

“Yeah okay whatever at least I have something to brag to Changbin about when we leave here.” he laughs, “Friends?“

Jisung mentally curses himself for sticking his hand out when he feels the warmth from yours meet him in the middle, the motion only making his heart beat faster. He prayed desperately hoping you couldnt hear it thumping out of his chest.

“Friends.”

You both shake on it with smiles, both trying to ignore that fluttering feeling in your chests growing bigger the longer you held hands.

Though neither of you would never admit this, you both were overthinking the rest of your time together waiting for Changbin and Seungmin to get back with the keys. You kept on with your conversation, talking about any and everything to keep yourselves from dying of boredom and hunger, but neither of you knew that the other was having the same thoughts deep in the back of their minds.

Why does my heart keep racing when im next to you?

taglist | @gyuville @kikivonpoopyhead @sohyeappy @enaluvs @mits-vi @spikertrash @dynarvot

bold means i cant tag!! sorry :(

[theladyinwhite13]

dear diary...

so today was the exam right and the english and spanish part was decent and thankfully exactly what i studied and it'd be a joke if i fail those parts cause 1.- im a fukcing literaly genius and 2.- im fluent in spanish, but math ironically (cause im in the physics-maths category thing) was what i was dreading most only to find that it was... easy? i was so surprised it was like if theres a straight line with 3 angles of 60, 30 find the third one and like???????? 180 bitch. or at least o hope. maybe i got it all wrong. thats what scares me actually, it was suspiciously easy which makes me think i did something wrong and it wasnt supposed to be easy

anyways then it was an glider contest and i was doing it with the girl i told you (who obvs did it by herself without telling me) but jokes on her cause her stupid plane was unbalanced so it only flew like 3 m but it needed to fly 5 m to qualify so yeah i guess the joke is on me too but then my teacher let us try again just for fun and wouldnt count and it fucking did 6 m im so mad anyways it was fun watching all the little planes fly and just hanging out with my friends omg one girl did 5 on her first attempt and then 11 on the just for fun im so mad on her behalf

no but seriously I love you and I’m proud of you, but yeah that seems too easy, but I don’t necessarily think that means anything, and knowing you you’ll probably overthink it but please try not to <3

I think they should maybe let you bejeweled more and stop treating you bad ever about anything ever but that’s just me