#and like… it really really doesnt help that half of my family keeps telling me that i should give up on nursing to go do art stuff

[gales-boyfriend]

for reals tho i think im gonna not be able to graduate on my projected graduation date because i was just lazy and sad too much :/

[cabinette]

A Chilshi Selkie AU I have been thinking about for a while. (by A While i mean like 3 hours)

assorted thoughts below ! (QUITE unorganised lol)

I like to think chilchucks already formed something of a surface life. and he's so so enthralled by things like beer and alcohol and indulgence but he has to deny himself of so many things because he's utterly convinced that no one will look at him the same if he reveals he's a selkie. he keeps a lock on his heart because. he LITERALLY has such an insane secret to keep

people think that he's just an ass who doesnt like talking about himself(or a closeted queer of some kind but you didnt hear that from me ;)) and it doesnt matter if he always leaves first when at the bar. it doesn't matter that he never seems to be anywhere but the beach. it doesn't matter because he's never going to tell you and you're never going to believe him

he's left behind the life he could have possibly lived in the ocean among his friends, his family, he's still in contact with them but…. He's more in touch with his facade than his selkie form. yknow ?

and now he's got this stupid man who found out everything he was trying to hide on, what, a silly little fishing trip? His life is going to be ruined ! (he's eating nice hot fish soup and feeling the warmth in his bones. he's experiencing the understanding and acceptance of a stranger. he can't paint himself as a bad person because somehow they already know he's just a sad, lonely selkie seeking companionship far above the shallows. and how his life is going to be "ruined" because this mackrel soup tastes so good and he doesn't know how he's going to hold himself back if this is how good it can be.)

Senshi's just a guy who goes fishing sometimes :-) And he's a struggler bcause he doesnt usually socialise- people joke about him being an ocean man, yknow? Never really leaves the sea, and so he's become sort of… isolated from the people he used to know. And you know, he has his reasonings. Incidents concerning his friends that happened far too long ago and guilt that spreads him too thin, but he still loves the sea. He still loves her for all her storms and her peace and her cruelty and her kindness. When you're a lonely man there's no better place to hide than the wide blue, you know ? So what happens when he meets someone who's so intrinsically connected to the sea, who's whole life is based around the sea?

Chilchuck knows the sea. knows how dangerous it can be and how to manoeuvre it. He doesn't necessarily love it but he's very in tune with it, he knows where the current is strongest and that you'll be swept away if you're not careful, but Senshi just loves the sea because... it's the sea. he helps fish that are stuck in rocks and he thinks. oh yeah. the sea is my friend. it may have caused him pain but he knows his way around it too. Only half-accepting the sad fact that the sea isn't yknow, a person but still a very much massive thing, a force to be reckoned with, and as he learns more about Chilchuck he too learns more about the sea, and having to sort of fully accept that he's never going to know it as a friend, or an acquaintance. His love for the ocean can never be staved but it can also. never be reciprocated.

guh. but even if the sea isnt his friend he can still feel the connections he makes. he can still learn and grow and and and and and anwlihsbdjk23wbearkudwhgjA#BEUKFJHGUKAEFH theres something THERE I CANT WORD IT!!! BIUT ITS THERE

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for sending a vaguely passive aggressive card?

i (25M) bought a card that says "i will always value our friendship" and inside i handwrote "you dont get to take this decision back, it is unfair to me too. i wish you the best." and gave it to my ex (27F) the day after she cut me off.

we met 2 years ago when we started working at the same job. we instantly hit it off and became close friends, and pretty soon after mutually crushing on each other.

however i had JUST left a super toxic relationship literally the month before and was in no way ready for a new relationship, and i made this clear to her. despite this she still asked to start dating almost every month for the better half of a year. i finally gave in and said yes, but she has to be super ptient as i still dont really feel ready for a relationship and am not over my ex, and havent even gone back to therapy yet to process the trauma of said previous relationship. she said she doesnt mind and even wants to help me process it herself. (key note: she is in college to become a trauma-specialized therapist.) i initially refused but upon her repetitive insistance gave in and let her give me "therapy talks" and whatnot. i dont exactly think i needed traditional talk therapy bc it hasnt benefitted me in the past and instead mostly benefit from EMDR and hypnosis. thats neither here nor there i guess lol.

fast forward a couple months and her car breaks down. she doesnt have any local friends or family so i ended up being her main ride to and from our job even though it was super inconvenient for me. we live in opposite directions on our job, each of us ~30 min drive away from work. so i would have to drive 45 min to her apartment to pick her up, then drive 30 min to work. after work i drive the 30 min back to her apartment, then the 45 min home. for unrelated reasons i end up leaving our mutual job and get a different job, closer to her apartment. ...but i am still her only ride. so now i am driving 45 min to her place, 30 min to HER job, 30 min BACK to her town where i work. now i drive 30 min to pick her up from work, 30 min to drop her off, and 45 min home. (that over three and a half hours of driving a day. she does not contribute to gas money.)

i am admittedly probably the asshole for this but i grow a little resentful of her lack of contribution and her expectation of me to be her ride despite the fact that she does not save money to fix her car or get a new one (she has a shopping addiction and spends a lot of money on knick knacks at antique/thrift stores). so we hardly spend time as a couple since i am always exhausted from work and driving her around. i tell her i dont Want to driver her everywhere and its putting a lot of tension and strain on the relationship bc of it and she is kind of like "well what am i supposed to do, lose my job and get evicted?" and so out of guilt i continue to be her ride.

she decided that me not spending enough time with her outside of driving is unfair and she wants to end the relationship. i agree this is for the best but because we used to be such good friends before, i want to try to be friends still. she agrees. i lay down a hard boundary now though: i will no longer be her ride. she does in fact lose her job and gets evicted from her apartment. by this point she has become friends with one of our old coworkers and ends up moving in to their house with their family, i end up helping her move.

we try to be friends, but she never texts first or asks to hang out or invites me anywhere, and on the rare occassion she agrees to my hangouts, shes extremely snappy and passive aggressive with me and is quick to remind me of what an "absent" boyfriend i was. i get fed up with this after a couple months and tell her i cant be friends with her is shes going to be so mean to me all the time, even if i WAS a bad boyfriend the relationship is over now and it isnt fair to keep holding it over my head. she agrees to try and be nicer to me. we slowly start becoming really good friends again and eventually start regularly hanging out again for a couple months.

my dad fucking dies. i take a month off work and have weekly grief counselling appointments. i kind of ghost everybody i know, not just including my ex/friend, but also my best friend, my cousin, and even my step sister. after a couple months back to work (sleep, go to work, come home, sleep. i didnt do Anything. i barely ate.) i finally start to get out of my depressive funk. i start reaching out to people again. most are super understanding and some are kinda weird about it. when i reach out to my ex and say i finally am starting to feel like a person again and we should hang out, she tells me that i broke her heart again by ignoring her and that i dont get a third chance, and shes cutting me off. she requests i drop off anything i still have of hers (she had some clothes and other stuff at my house) and so i decide to, kind of half genuinely and kind of half sarcastically, buy a "friendship" card.

...so, am i the asshole for buying a card that says "i will always value our friendship" and writing "you dont get to take this decision back, it is unfair to me too. i wish you the best." on the inside, and giving it to my ex the day after she cut me off?

[rebo-chan]

Sorry y'all this one's gonna be a long one lol fun analysis/theorizing/headcanoning whatever the fuck this is under the cut :)

So, lately I've been really thinking about Lambo and Tsuna's relationship, Lambo's connection to Vongola, and Lambo's spot as the Lightning Guardian. I know as a fandom, we tend to disregard Lambo because he has like.. two fights in the whole series or wish that someone else was made the Lightning Guardian because that boy is Literally Five. And I won't act like it wouldn't have been cool to see another character as Lightning Guardian (My Haru Guardian fans rise up where are you) but I think what Amanos done here is really fun too from an analysis perspective.

To start with, Tsuna's family is not really a..traditional Mafia family or even a traditional Vongola family either. Let's look at this here, he's got his Two Best Friends(TM), his crush's big brother, the leader of the Disciplinary Committee at his school, a criminal, a half dead girl, and the aforementioned five year old as his guardians. This is FAR from what's likely expected out of the Vongola family, even when you date it back to Primo AT LEAST PRIMO HAD PRINCES, PRIESTS, SAMURAIS as his guardians. (Though he gets away with having One Best Friend (TM) as his guardian.) Yet somehow, their family makes it work!! They survive the Mafia world, multiple times throughout the series and when it's not working they get stronger as a unit and they fight for each other and make it out together. And I think that's the beauty of their specific family.

So then you have Lambo, who Tsuna would do anything for just to avoid Lambo having to experience a fraction of the shit they go through. And Tsuna actually SUCCEEDS at this, he doesn't normally succeed when it comes to being avoidant of Mafia stuff but this was something throughout the series that he was so genuinely adamant against. He only let Lambo fight when he truly had to and even then he very minimally let the Mafia world wrap its greedy paws around Lambo. Kokuyo arc, Tsuna didn't even sort of kind of a little bit consider taking Lambo with them (which would later help keep Kyoko and Haru safe), Varia arc, knowing that this would disqualify him, Tsuna decided he could not allow Lambo to keep fighting.

Future Arc, Tsuna kept Lambo out of the fight as much as he could, allowing the non-fighters to take care of him and I-pin. Shimon Arc, Tsuna felt real regret at the prospect that he allowed Lambo to come.

(And Arco arc where Lambo was hardly present at either, which I'd like to imagine that if Lambo was involved in Arco arc then Tsuna may have just absolutely fucking died)

Tsuna to Lambo is not his guardian (Frankly, he doesn't view any of his guardians as such, they are his friends, his pride, his comrades, and those he has traded blows with and knows they can be trusted.) Lambo to Tsuna is his little brother. This five year old was sent on an assassination attempt that was absolutely in no circumstance meant to actually succeed and the Bovinos know that. To send Lambo to assassinate the strongest hitman was a death mission. So, Tsuna took this child in (or rather this child stuck around bc his Mom makes banger meals) and immediately Tsuna assumes the role of his brother. Lambo and Tsuna are the closest out of all the kids. (Ofc Tsuna loves I-pin and fuuta too, but I think it's safe to say Lambo is his dumb little brother)

Now, I don't think that Tsuna is ever going to see Lambo as anything but his little brother. I actually theorize that the way TYL Lambo is the way he is because Tsuna never really got out of the habit of babying him. He's calmed down since he was a kid and developed a more nonchalant personality with the occasional tantrum because you can't tell me Tsuna DOESNT STILL view TYL Lambo as a non-combatant. When Tsunas 15, he looks at 5 year old Lambo and goes no thanks that boy is never touching a weapon in his life. When Tsunas is 25, he sees 15 year Lambo and goes that is STILL a child he is never touching a weapon in his life. And yes he's completely unaware of the hypocrisy in my head.

This is a spoiled little brother no one can tell me otherwise.

So we know Tsuna just sees him as his kid brother and not a real guardian. But then you have Lambo's feelings about the whole matter. We know that Lambo doesn't really consider Tsuna a boss but as his big brother, but I don't think that changes a lot for Lambo. While fighting is scary for Lambo, he still desires to follow alongside Tsuna and his friends. He doesn't want to be left behind and makes Tsuna promise him he'll take him wherever he goes. He sees Tsuna freaking out about him being a child in a battlefield and he goes, "No you don't understand, I want to be there."

And that? That right there is what fucks me up after everything. Lambo as a concept for a Lightning Guardian feels really unique because of this. He's the youngest one. He's always going to chase after the others, trying to keep up with them, to walk alongside them. One day, he wants to catch up and be considered a rightful Guardian like the others. And that is so... Tsuna and him would be batting heads over this because I cannot see Tsuna relenting on Lambo staying out of the battle. I cannot see Tsuna ever feeling like Lambo's ready. Not because he thinks Lambo is weak, but because Lambo's his baby brother and Tsuna needs him more away from the battle or else he can't focus.

While Tsuna doesn't react outwardly in this frame, I do think it's not a coincidence that he could focus on fighting the battle and not be "impatient" as Reborn put it, the moment he saw Gokudera and Hibari on the battlefield. He could focus easier knowing his friends were running around saving Lambo and co.

Okay, so you have the Big brother who wants to protect his little brother from seeing the same stuff he does, from fighting the same battles he does, and wants him to grow up as a regular kid (a right which he had been robbed off the moment a certain hitman showed up at his door). Then you have the little brother who wants wholeheartedly to be there, desires to catch up to his big brother and know the world that his big brother knows.

How does this difference in value get addressed? well it doesn't because Lambo is still 5 and Shounen jump are cowards for ending Amanos series when they did <3 B U T we have this.

We all know this scene for when we rewatched Reborn for the first and went "..wait.." because that was some actually sweet foreshadowing from Amano. Okay, so. We have a Lambo who finally did it. Finally is someone worthy of being called the Vongola Lightning Guardian. And Tsuna and co are implied to have just been... Gone. All of Tsuna's efforts to raise this kid in a regular life are ripped away because something happens to HIM, not Lambo. And from Lambo's perspective, he's caught up finally but the person he was following isn't around anymore. He didn't think he'd see him again. I think it's safe to assume that this scene either implies that something happens to Tsuna in his 30s (since we know he wasn't actually dead TYL) OR 20yl Lambo is from a parallel world where Byakuran had actually won and actually took Tsunas life.

And I think that's some real meat to bite into for these characters. A little brother who will lose his big brother if he doesn't do something, get stronger in time. A big brother who won't let him join the battle because he's afraid of losing HIS little brother. A Vongola Lightning Guardian who wants to be a shield for his Boss, and a Boss won't let him be a shield.

And that? That's a good concept for a Vongola Lightning Guardian.

Thank you for reading this far if you did :] this is a bit of a ramble but I was thinking about it and I felt it nice to share. I hope maybe I shared some of my brain worms with you <3

[adairtrashart]

here have all of the art fight refs i did for all of my cotl ocs

under the cut is their icons their icons and the links to their specific pages

sona

joined the cult just to figure out how they could use something like those ice curses very weird and pear wiggler brained and says stuff thats very nonsensical outside the very specific context they probably wont even tell you about half the time narinder keeps beating me up ingame help why does he hate me they dont end up attending a lot of the sermons because of being highly nocturnal (hung out with a family of owls growing up)

grebre

loves fighting and fights the other followers for fun (they dont understand that people are often afraid of them because of this) the random assaults stopped happening after the lamb figured out how to get the fight pit though despite being so warrior brained they dont actually like killing others and is one of the few followers who wont be upset if the loser in the fight pit is spared they handmade their gloves just to prevent themself from injuring their hands when punching followers with tougher skin/scales/etc thats a scar not a mouth and their mouth shaped scar also freaks people out because it makes them look like theyre doing an ominous smile constantly

haon

extremely religious and mostly does prayers she didnt know how to go about it very well at first though since the cult was extremely new at that point unintentionally inspired a lot of worshiping customs in the cult due to improvising stuff half the time doesnt like making requests but asked the lamb to retrieve the soul of her long dead sister in anchordeep once because of a dream she had

jularna

the lambs first follower they dont remember much about life before the cult due to how long its been (they dont even remember their original species beyond mammal) also the first dissenter because they got mad that the lamb bowed to heket (there were no prisons at that point so they were sacrificed and later revived) they died again after a failed mission attempt and temporarily became a coward (but fortunately they fully got over their negative feelings towards ritual sacrifice because of this)

manaon

very blunt astrologist who is practically married to its job is attempting to teach people about science but sucks at explaining things very badly mostly kept around because admittedly the lamb is curious about the stars (mostly for superstitious and god related reasons)

noantre

used to be a bodybuilder in his youth but is now a fairly relaxed mentor to grebre still a bit of a hothead though only joined the cult to have a place to be buried but now wants to live out as much of his remaining life as possible due to newfound motivation over things he never really got to do before

nomer

very egotistical and greedy (partially due to having been friends with midas in the past) used to have a high social status before the old faith destroyed his home for not worshiping any of them this led to him being secretly insecure about appearing faithful enough to the lamb acts like a snooty "high school clique mean girl" type of person even after he goes on a whole thing about proving himself a worthy disciple much later on does the high priestess laugh a lot

noty

hes very sickly and quiet but tries to help out anyways mostly just helps out with harvesting the easier crops and worship stuff witness agares is in love with him and eligos considers him as a brother overly concerned with appearing useless despite doing way more than a lot of the more ablebodied followers

panamer

theyre a him/thembo who talks like a surfer dude and mostly hangs out by the beach to go swimming during his freetime thats it thats the personality/lore this is mostly a bit character

putyno

basically what happens when you have someone who acts like a stereotypical fairytale princess in cult of the lamb a lot of people are suspicious of her because of how absurdly nice she is but shes just like that shell even be nice to you if you try to frame her as a spy and get her killed (*cough*webber*cough*) putyno can be pretty defensive towards anyone who messes with her flower garden though because of how deeply it upsets her

thorar

theyre the child of a worm and a deer thorar was never really sure what to do with their life but when they hyperfixate on something they tend to study it in extreme depth so without realizing it they essentially became a scholar horrendous fashion sense and often gets mistaken for a giraffe by people not really aware of how full on hybrids happen in this specific cult sometimes (going with the canon one species or the other thing being the norm outside of it)

thorty

thorty was originally a different species but the lamb felt like trying out the twitch bunny form on someone new they think it looks cute on her but she thinks its "ugly and kiddy" shes overly concerned with appearing mature and had a kid (anar) she wasnt prepared for because of it now shes just too tired all the time even with the lambs help with her kid (they felt kinda bad at that point)

tremer

tremer was brought in during the time where the lamb had to sacrifice followers to regain access to certain areas no one liked her because shes a jerk and she punched the lamb in the face but since the lamb specifically only needed a level x follower at that point they were essentially forced to pamper her until then unbeknownst to everyone she actually came from the goats cult and got here by accident during a mission it doesnt matter anymore though because she got fed to a door

tyjular

tremer told the lamb to bring in a dissenter (specifically to pick on) even after tremer got sacrificed to a door tyjular was still pretty spiteful over repeatedly getting locked up and how tremer was treated in spite of her behavior but hes too shy and self conscious to consider doing anything aside from being overtly formal with his leader

[jelmet]

what pets i think fit with the batfam

these are kinda out of order but what evs

tell me what other characters u want (doesnt have to be bat-adjacent)

Dick Grayson

German shepherd maybe a huskey mix too

I know he has Hailey in canon but canon is of my choosing

I feel like his prestict was training dogs and one of them failed the training but hes already bonded with it so he takes it home with him and now he has a dog

he names it after somthing in the cirus

also named nightbite and the dog is considered a vigilante but only comes out to calm down children

Jason Todd

orange tabby

whenever someone meets the cat for the 1st time he spends 15 mins trying to convince them the cat is actually red

named elizabeth, and he forces you to call the cat elizabeth, no lizzie or any other nickname only elizabeth

he found her wandering around crime alley with out a collar and scooped her up and took her home

they become inseparable except when jason is doing vigilante stuff them the cat sleeps in his bed

shes tiny from malnourishment ect. from being on the street

he nourishes her back to health but she never gets to full size

Tim Drake

toad

he wanted a bullfrog before realizing how annoying they are and ended up getting an american toad

he named it either tim jr. or frog

he puts it in a mason jar (no top ofc) with some water and brings it everywhere (non vigilante)

the toad works comms and he tries to get everyone to call it red toad (failure)

he wears gloves when handling it and is very careful not to get salmonella (all reptiles and amphibians are loaded with it)

Duke Thomas

im giving him 2 types of pets

first he has a fish tank with those floresent neon fish

he has the full set up with the black lights and everything

1 fish of each color named color fishie (blue fishie, yellow fishie, ect.)

he also gets a rabbit

specifically a Miniature Cashmere Lop

he names it judy (zootopia reference lol)

he took her on patrol with him one in one of those baby carries that straps to your chest but he bent down and judy hopped out and he spent half an hour chasing her around

she lives on his bedroom floor, he has everything she needs lined along a wall and she just kinda chills all day

Cass Cain

SNAKE

she gets a common brown snake

they are non venomous, typically very docile, and the longest they can get is 13 inches long

she did tons of research on snakes and makes sure it living its best live

names it after her favorite fruit

she keeps trying to feed duke’s fish to it

brown snakes are fairly small so she will curl it around her fingers on one hand and do her homework with the other

Carrie Kelley

Yes shes part of the family

a hedgehog

she keeps it in her pocket

his name is sonic

she made him a blue mask and paints some of the quills blue and takes him on patrol (he mostly stays in her pocket)

one notable occasion she shot him with her sligshot into a thug’s face

sonic was ok the thug however was not

sonic lives in carrie’s pocket

Alfred Pennyworth

mini horse

he named it named fredrick

it stays out in the barn with batcow

he goes out on walks around the manor grounds and the horse will follow him around

helps out around the batcave and works coms with frog

Damian Wayne

i know he already has a ton of pets go away

caribbean reef octopus

i saw a video of one of these guys escaping its tank and immediately thought of damian

either gives it an arab name or names it richard

has an amazing tank setup for it with lots of enrichment

sometimes he takes it out on walks around the manor and damian will carry a little spray bottle to ensure he doesnt dry out

HE GETS 2 ASWELL CAUSE I JUST REMEBERED SMTH

a bearded dragon

he wanted a komodo dragon but they are massive (and venomous) so he compromised on a bearded dragon

he gives her either an arab name or names her timothy

ITS A DRAGON HED BE SO HAPPY!!!!

just like the octopus he takes really good care of her

she has a bunch of differnt outfits and leashes and he takes her on walks all the time

Stephanie Brown

Indian star tortoise

she saw a tortoise mukbang video and decided she needed one (go to animal asmr on youtube)

she named her ravioli

tried to get her a job in the bat med bay but alfred refused to let “ground zero for a salmonella outbreak” into the med bay

she has a massive box with multiple sets of lights despite how tiny she is (hes a baby now and about 2.5 in but adults get to 7-12 in)

as a baby she rides around on steph’s shoulder

once she gets bigger steph puts her in a leash

Bruce Wayne

way too many bats to count

each person has a bat named after them and a bat they have named

the rest are named bat bat

the bats are not allowed outside of the batcave

he also has ace (bat hound) who, from my best guess, is a Doberman

he also gets a fox moth

he raises it from a caterpillar and he loves it (he picks it up off the sidewalk and decides to keep it)

he names it bug

only pet not allowed to go into the batcave

it mostly stays on his head or shoulder when not asleep (even as a full grown moth)

sleeps in a net like cage thing hanging in his room

he cried really hard when it pupated only for a moth to come out a few weeks later

Jarro

why is the starfish here?

because

anyway in Flash 238-243 in the 70’s hal has a pet alien starfish thing named itty

jarro gets his own itty and yeah

[makifullstop]

I honestly dont really get why ppl hated lore olympus so much.

I havent watched any videos on lore olympus (i dont really wanna get influenced by the opinion of another), ive been just reading the webtoon and i dont think there is smth very bad about it- maybe in the start of the webtoon, things were real rocky, but then i think that it got very much better.

The world the author built is not half bad, the ways they implement the ancient greek mythos, kinda remaking a story using parts from myths and storys and mixing them in the setting they made is very fun, and the illustrations are also pleasent as hell.

i seriously dont see where the problem could be- all im thinking is that i could be a big "this isnt my thing" kind of thing which i do get, the story reading at first like a manhua type "yn x big bad jaded ceo" isnt the most intresting ( i am not really the target demographic) but then it developes into smth more like a telenovela type drama about rich families n' stuff like that (yk the ones).

Over time you see the characters evolve and change with persephony growing out of the sheltered thinking that she had and gainining more confidence and embracing her anger for the good that it can do, while hades does smth a little bit analogus but backwards: becoming less jaded and isolated and learning to accept help, quite literally fighting his trauma involving kronos and becoming more open and inviting. And many other side/ main characters have similar character arcs, slowly revealing more and more of themselves for us to see who they truly are and how they got that way.

And as for the villains, kornos was straight up kind of terrifying, kinda reminded me of white diamond in the way he was introduced, only talked about and in flashbacks, severely intangable until he was not and apolo- he doesnt deserve my praise on anything that fucking cunt. Delusional, stupid, manipulative, r-ist- you can tell the author took some (many) liberties with this one, tbh kinda annoying at some points but keep in mind that the webtoon is using the greek mythos as a base and only a base ( or even a loose inspiration for characters and settings at this point- and at current also ouranos which has been established breifly only in flashbacks and in "meanwhiles" when apolo went to consult him.

Lastly the art as i said is downright gorgeous, smth out of a picture boothan a comic and i absolutely love that! the style of the author is very recognisable without any lines making heavy use of colour in the scenes and on the characters in order to show who belongs where blue for the god of the dead and a series of dark hallways and less than ideally lit-up places, while for the goddess of spring flowers and bight colours and sunshine. this also helps draw the eye on the character that doesnt belong ther- like persephony in the underworld where you can probably spot her pink from everywhere and hades with his black while in the light and sunny overworld.

i really dont think that i have smth real bad about lore olympus (that warrants slander)

it kinda eats!

[simplygyuu]

Nouvelle Crown : 009 - Well shit.

synopsis : choi beomgyu, the second prince of the royal choi family doesnt have much of a life outside of his duties. even then hes not allowed to do much, his brother is the crown prince after all. but when he meets you, a regular commoner girl, through his brothers friend soobin he cant help but be intrigued. commoner life is so different from what he knows and you are the only person to treat him like the normal teenager he always longed to be. with you he gets to experience the normal, teenager life behind the backs of his overbearing family.

Dim street lights had become a familiar thing for Beomgyu now, a bit comforting even. But tonight even the nice atmosphere couldn't keep his hands from shaking where he had shoved them into his pockets. He was so, so nervous. What if y/ns friends connected the dots? What if they recognized him?

He knows he should tell you, of course he does! It weighs on his conscious daily and he hates that he's keeping something so big from his only other friend. But he had so much to lose if he did tell you. You could treat him differently or be weirded out or even be rightfully mad at him for lying. He didn't want to lose what he had with you, he wanted your friendship to last.

Beomgyu rounded the last street corner before spotting the arcade you had told him to go to. He saw you waiting outside for him, just like you had promised. A smile spread across the covered lower half of his face as he sped up the pace of his walk. He would have called out to you but he wasn't very loud spoken in public and he felt a bit too nervous to be his more playful self. He had grown to open up to you and try and drop his more formal way of speaking but it was something practically drilled into him. He hopes your friends won't think he's a freak because of it.

“Oh, Gyu!” You exclaimed once you looked up and finally noticed him walking towards you. His eyes crinkled in a smile as he raised a hand to shyly wave as he approached you. He was dressed much more casually now than he had been the first few times you met him, perhaps he's gotten new clothes.

“Hi, y/n.” He greeted kindly once he was close enough, stopping in front of you and slightly peeking through the window and into the arcade. “I'm nervous..”

“You don't know how much it means to me that you came with us today, really! I know it's out of your comfort zone so thank you.” You lightly rubbed his shoulder with a smile as you spoke. “And don't be nervous! They'll all love you, I just know it.”

Beomgyu just shyly nodded and looked away with a red tint to his ears. He was easy to embarrass, it was like he wasn't used to much kindness being thrown his way. It was weird considering how he was such a sweet person. Finally he beckoned him to follow you inside with a flick of your hand, which he easily followed.

The arcade was empty aside from your friends and the worker there, it was late and not many people were out in the middle of the week. It was filled with bright colors and the sounds of the many machines along with the faint laughter of your friends. Beomgyu stayed behind you, as if you could shield him. (He was much taller than you, but it's the thought that counts).

Then, Beomgyus' eyes landed on an extremely familiar person. His eyes widened as he saw Soobin, leaned up against a claw machine and furiously texting as the girls screamed over a racing game they were playing. It seems that Soobin and the other guy were waiting their turns. Beomgyu recalls you telling him about Taehyun, so that must be the shorter guy.

Soobins eyes flickered up once you walked in before looking back down, then a second later his whole head shot up in a double take as he stared right at Beomgyu. The prince began to subtly shake his head no, eyes wide. Soobin could talk to him about it later, but not now with everyone there. Soobin just furrowed his brows but nodded.

“Oh my god! It's the man, the myth, the legend!” A girl suddenly called out, jumping up from her spot at the car racing game and causing her car to crash. She ran over to Beomgyu and Y/n with a bright smile. “I'm Ningning! You're Gyu, right? We've heard so much about you.”

“Ning, move!” A shorter girl with a bob piped up, also coming to stand in front of Beomgyu. “Aww Y/n was right! You have the cutest eyes!”

Beomgyu’s face was already heating up, his ears a noticeable red as he shyly nodded. “Oh, uhm thank you so much, you're also pretty.” He exchanged the compliment just like he was taught to.

“Im Chaewon, the girl back there at the plushies is Sana! Yunjin isn't here today, praise the lord.” She explained excitedly, pointing to Sana as she named her. “Im telling Yunjin you said that!” Ningning sang, pulling out her phone.

The two girls began to bicker a bit as Chaewon attempted to steal the phone from Ningning. It was a bit overwhelming, Beomgyu wasn't used to this much going on. The other man met Beomgyus' eyes and nodded a greeting at him before approaching a game by himself.

“You good, Gyu? Theyre a lot aren't they?” You suddenly piped up, leaning close to him so he could hear you over the bickering. Your eyes looked a bit worried, you didn't want to overwhelm him. He took a second to respond before you saw the familiar crinkle of his eyes.

“Dont worry about me, its fine! They all seem fun.” Beomgyu responded even if he seemed much more nervous that his reply conveyed.

“Hey, Y/n!” Was called out just as you opened your mouth to respond, looking over to see Soobin looking at you expectantly. “Come play Tyun, he's getting too cocky.”

You glanced back at Beomgyu who gestured towards the guy sweetly, not wanting to take away from your time with them. He didn't want you to coddle him all night just because he gets a little overwhelmed sometimes, it's not fair to you. You studied his eyes for a second before nodding and approaching Taehyun with a smile.

“Hey, Gyu. Nice to meet you.” A voice suddenly cut through the silence and Beomgyu looked over to see Soobin right next to him. “Lets talk, yeah?” The older lowered his voice as he spoke, gesturing to the other side of the arcade.

Well shit.

--------------------------------------------------------------

previous masterlist next

notes : i know soob seems a bit... malicious 😝

reposts and replies are really appreciated and keep me from being super demotivated, it makes my day to see what you all think :)

taglist (open) : @mazeinthemoon @pokyloky @run2seob @bluebearybeom @wonioml @rikismiel @yumilovesloona @captivq @soobin-chois @thisisnotjacinta @silvsie @mjdoesstuff @luvsoobs @ddenoudepression

send me an ask or a message to be added to the taglist!

[adamstanheightsleftshoulder]

i’m going to be okay || adam stanheight

tw: death, dying, the bathroom trap, saw typical violence mentioned

implied xreader (he mentions a partner/Y/N in his thoughts)

this is my first time posting any of my writing online so like that's cool? Filled with fear about it actually. anyway this little bit about Adam's thoughts when Amanda went back for him would not get out of my brain so. here?

Dark.

It’s so, so dark.

Adam can barely remember what it was like not to be in the dark, it feels like his life is disconnected to this.

Nothing seems to connect to the way he’s “living” now. His stomach has long since stopped hurting, thank God, but the emptiness is still there. His mouth has never felt this dry. His ankle is red raw from pulling at that chain.

The smell of the rotting body next to him has been driving him nuts.

If Adam thinks on it too long, he starts to get scared of himself. He never thought he was capable of… That. Not really.

He can’t count how long he’s been here, he has no way of knowing- he tried to count sleeps, but it gets harder every second to tell if his eyes are closed or not.

“When I get home, I’m leaving the lights on,” turned to “If I get home, I’m leaving the lights on,”

And eventually, it turned to “God, am I ever going home? Ever gonna get to see light?”

When Adam’s tired, weak eyes opened to the half lidded maximum he can manage now, for a second he didn’t believe it.

Light?

A torch?

SOMEONE.

His body would’ve shaken and crumbled if he tried to move, he knows that, so when the torch light beams straight into his ailing face he blinks as much as he can. It’s all he can do. The only way he can think to tell whoever it is that he’s alive.

He tries to talk but nothing comes out.

Maybe now he can go home. Maybe he’s saved. Maybe Lawrence sent someone.

Lawrence didn’t lie.

I can call Mom back. I can see my family. I can see Scott. I can see my partner.

Lawrence didn’t lie.

The person with the torch steps closer, and Adam tries so, so hard to keep himself conscious.

I can sleep in a real bed- I can sleep holding Y/N. Y/N would keep me safe, right? Yeah, they would. Y/N'd protect me. I can see them again, God, I can see them again.

Lawrence didn’t lie.

I can see the sun, again. What season is it now? Is it still fall? Would there be snow now?

"Adam? ...Adam?" The voice whispers, and it's definitely not Lawrence but that's fine because someone came and they're going to help.

Adam feels her put a hand near his face, and every ounce of energy in his exhausted body goes into moving his head- making some sort of sound (all he can muster is a wheeze).

I can go anywhere but this room. Anywhere that doesnt feel like this... Heavy. Dank. Dark.

Lawrence didn’t lie. He didn’t leave me here for dead. I’m going to be okay. He’s back, or he sent someone- I’m going to be okay!

The person is moving him now, his lungs swell with a buzzy, relieved feeling.

"I'm gonna help you,'"

Oh, thank God- I’m going t-

[notthestarwar]

for the WIP game, can you tell me more about ‘Fox gets a job- quin/ Fox’ 👀👀

thank you for asking!

OK so i know i've talked about this on here before but i love this au so i'm gonna repeat myself a bit probably.

so its set post war, no order 66. The idea is that the war opened everyones eyes to cloning, in a very bad way. loads of half bit criminals are like. free labour? people we can raise to do whatever we want? why don't we give it a try. theres a background of a lot of shitty gangs going about trying out cloning in a way that would horrify the kaminoans really. this is not good science, this is comic book-esque backstreet cloning in order to take advantage of people.

they are largely not successful. the problem isnt that there are loads of gang owned clones around. the problem is that they keep trying even tho they dont know shit about cloning and so vulnerable ppl are getting kidnapped off the streets for gennetic material and in a baby farm type way to grow clones in. its bad.

enter fox. he's drifting after the war. he doesnt really know what too do with his life. he is looking for a job and he says he wants a job but everytime he gets an interview he's overly honest and tells them things like 'yeah i killed my last boss' (palpatine) and 'my greatest flaw? i'm too competent. it makes my bosses feel inferior' and so understandably nobody will give him a job

he doesnt actually need a job. quin is paying all his bills cause theyre in a weird not relationship and wont admit they care about eachother. fox is deadly embarrased about whatever quin funding him and spending all his days off in fox's apartment might signify and so it is a MASSIVE SECRET that must be kept from fox's brothers.

so fox at this point in his life, stumbles on to one of these cloning ops and ends up helping someone. and it becomes kind of addictive. he wont admit it but helping these people, who are being hurt by cloning, settles something in him. maybe it settles the thing in him that he wont admit is so hurt by the cards he and his brothers have been dealt, by what was done to them.

so fox sets up as a private investigator. but because he's a weirdo who runs from intimacy he kind of. doesnt tell anyone (he cant. this is important to him) but of course, his brothers find out anyway and they also find out that he's running the worst business ever because he's not taking money from his clients. because he doesnt feel right doing it.

now where this is building to (and this is the part that i kinda got stuck on) is he stumbles on to a BIG criminall gang cloning conspiracy. one where they are actually succeeding in cloning people. he ends up investigating this one with Boba! which pretty much happens cause at the start before he knows how big this is, he walks in to this lab, and who has also broken in to the lab and is investigating the same conspiracy? BOBA. and its just like. fox and boba stood on either side of this illegal lab like. spiderman meme pointing. looking out of the window of a car as they drive past each other. that vibe.

and the rest of the story is boba and fox on this unwilling team up. neither of them wanting to admit to feelings but having to kind of both admit. yeah. bad things happened to us and i dont like the idea of anyone else being out there with similar stuff happening to them. they also unwillingly get close. then theres the side plot of fox having to admit his feelings when it comes too quin and admit that theyre kinda living like theyre in a committed relationship without the words. and then the other thing thats going on in the background is cody and obi wan, who are living together, in a happy relationship apart from the fact that they never have an empty house becuase one of them is aways inviting some wayward sibling or other to stay with them. cody and obi wan respectively have no shortage of family so its just constant and both of them act like theyre annoyed each time the others do it, but really, its why they love each other and theyre both so big brother coded and yeah.

so i know i've alread shared some bits of this here and here (and possibly theres a third one floating around here as welll? cant find it)

so here are some other snippets from other parts of the au:

and from a bit later on, a quin/fox bit

later on, fox being uncharactaristially honest (it's easier when the person doesnt matter to him)

and finally, fox's thoughts on the cloning problem

and i've shared loads sorry so i'll stop now, but yeah. this is an idea i am very excited about and i am very frustrated that i havent been able to form a conspiracy that fits right for him and boba to investigate

[spidermanifested]

returning to the concept of greed playlists: im actually really proud of the one ive been working on. its not "done" yet, in the sense that i like to make my character playlists go in chronological order and theres still comparatively few songs representing the latter half of his arc, but what ive got so far is very solid in my humble imho. so. heres a big post with all the songs ive got in it so far, particularly relevant lyric excerpts, and explanations for how they fit into my Grand Vision

act i: greed the avaricious

softy by kiltro

there's a boy who stalks these halls, he never leaves and when he talks, he talks a lot always by mistake there's a man who runs the show you never see and where he walks, all our breathing stops, how he quiets things

i figured this was a good one to start off the playlist, it sets up the quiet unease of greeds existence. also starting with a song called "softy" on a playlist about the Ultimate Shield and building everything else on top of that is a move of genius i think

shadow's keeper by black rebel motorcycle club

what is the purpose if you feel so incomplete? what is the reason if it beats you to your knees? what do you keep? your eyes were wide but there's a world that keeps you blind a painted serpent turning water into wine seeking light

hes starting to acknowledge how unfulfilled he feels, and the shadow/light motifs are an extra treat considering he uses the metaphor himself. ive done my best to continue that theme throughout the playlist. especially fun if you take the "painted serpent turning water into wine" as the "world that keeps (him) blind" AND the thing "seeking light", aka father, and combine that with the later verse:

you're begging for the truth but now you've seen too much you're living in your head but never feel their touch and everything was buried by the deep blue sky help me to breathe 'cause I don't wanna see the light just tell me to breathe 'cause I don't wanna be denied

he doesnt want whatever grand plans father has in store, he wants a family that cares about him. truth mentioned also, as well, give it up for the truth

willard! by will wood

i've never understood what humans do and want it's quite confusing to me to try to connect never learned how I should feel, instincts somehow stunted just seem haunted by my stupid urge to protect

replace "humans" with homunculi and you have a whole song about how his chimeras are the only ones who really get him. "being haunted by (his) stupid urge to protect" is also such a greed line

hast thou considered the tetrapod by the mountain goats

and alone in my room i am the last of a lost civilization and i vanish into the dark and rise above my station

he, father and the other homunculi quite literally are the last of a lost civilization. also

held under these smothering waves by your strong and thick-veined hand but one of these days i'm gonna wriggle up on dry land

^these lines make me cry on their own already and when i place them in greedcontext it has an effect

what's a devil to do? by harley poe

oh, when the saints go marching in i won't be there, 'cause I love my sin am i so bad that you hate me? there was a time when i could see my hopes and dreams, they are no more i'm not a rich man, but blessed are the poor oh man, forgive me, i turned away i won't come back, so i'll have to pay

i dont think i have to expound on how this relates to greed very much do i. entire song about your inherently sinful nature making you unfit for your home

act ii: taking on the world

could have been me by the struts

don't wanna live as an untold story rather go out in a blaze of glory i can't hear you, i don't fear you i'll live now 'cause the bad die last dodging bullets with your broken past i can't hear you, i don't fear you now

the tiger! he destroyed his cage! the tiger is out!!!!

i by kendrick lamar

and i love myself (the world is a ghetto with big guns and picket signs) i love myself (but it can do what it want whenever it want, i don't mind) i love myself

hes seen how much pain society has in it at this point, but he still has no regrets about leaving home. for the first time in his life hes starting to fill the void in his soul

i want it all by queen

i'm a man with a one track mind so much to do in one lifetime (people do you hear me) not a man for compromise and where's and why's and living lies so i'm living it all, yes i'm living it all and i'm giving it all, and i'm giving it all

the first of several songs about Wanting Everything because you have to have songs about wanting everything in a greed playlist. but thats not the only reason this one fits, youve got the "not wanting to live a lie" part, as well as talking about giving instead of just taking

raise hell by dorothy

young blood, run like a river young blood, never get chained young blood, heaven need a sinner you can't raise hell with a saint young blood, came to start a riot don't care what your old man say young blood, heaven hate a sinner but we gonna raise hell anyway

hes way past young at this point but theres always room for a Fuck You Dad song

emperor's new clothes by panic! at the disco

welcome to the end of eras ice has melted back to life done my time and served my sentence dress me up and watch me die if it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine

this is maybe The classic greed song. everybody knows its about him. the only difference in opinion with the masses i really have is that even though emperor is in the title it really fits more as a pre-nest wild party era greed song than a greedling era song because at no point during the winter road trip does he get to engage in the songs brand of lavish hedonism. hes too busy being depressed

also its fun that it has the word decapitated in it. when, you know

the man by the killers

i know the score like the back of my hand them other boys, i don't give a damn they kiss on the ring, i carry the crown nothing can break, nothing can break me down

obligatory Toxic Masculinity Song. some of the lines about not taking advice dont really apply here because this is greed "looks to his minions for social advice in the middle of a kidnapping" the avaricious but he does have his weird chivalry thing and also a lot of baggage around his own vulnerability. i also think its funny to put in a song where he brags about his dick

thrift shop by macklemore

imma take your grandpa's style, imma take your grandpa's style no, for real, ask your grandpa, can i have his hand-me-downs?

unfortunately this is definitely a greed song.

mr. pinstripe suit by big bad voodoo daddy

now he strolls through the city like a big ol' alley cat with his pinstripe suit and a big bad voodoo hat i don't believe i ever saw him without a kitten on his hand and no one swings as hard to the big bad voodoo band

the time period doesnt quite line up but the Vibe is there. hes making a name and a reputation for himself and hes looking good doing it

busy earnin' by jungle

you think that all your time is used too busy earnin' you can't get enough

a more uncertain interlude. the melody doesnt falter but the lyrics ask if this is really what he wants out of life. after all, he has a long time, but he doesnt have forever.

everybody loves me by onerepublic

don't need my health got my name and got my wealth, i stare at the sun just for kicks all by myself, i lose track of time, so i might be past my prime, but i'm feelin' oh so good, yeah

this answers the question the previous song posed with a "psssh, ill think about it later"

i want it by viv and the revival

in the stores make it rain 'cause it's wet like a dream (a-wooo) cars, boats, big house, everything in between (a-wooo) i don't know i don't care i don't give but i can share, so i'll make you scream make you believe that you can have anything, anything!

another "i want everything" song that stands out by mentioning wanting someone else to have things too. still not really addressing the uncertainty yet in favor of continuing to fuck around

gimme! gimme! gimme! (a man after midnight) by abba

gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight won't somebody help me chase the shadows away? gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight take me through the darkness to the break of the day

well? give him a man after midnight

i'll rust with you by steam powered giraffe

i'll rust with you i'll rust with every one of you nostalgic nights have got me feelin' its all gone, gone, gone to rust

song about being immortal and watching all your relationships fade away before your eyes as the decades roll past? dont mind if i do

highwayman by the highwaymen

i was a highwayman along the coach roads i did ride with sword and pistol by my side many a young maid lost her baubles to my trade many a soldier shed his lifeblood on my blade the bastards hung me in the spring of '25 but i am still alive

by this point hes been living among humans long enough to have racked up a considerable number of deaths. but hes still around. he'll always be around. Or Will He

act iii: coming together

red right hand by nick cave & the bad seeds

you don't have no money? he'll get you some you don't have no car? he'll get you one you don't have no self-respect, you feel like an insect well don't you worry buddy 'cause here he comes through the ghettos and the barrio and the bowery and the slum a shadow is cast wherever he stands stacks of green paper in his red right hand

the tone of the song is sinister. within the context of this playlist i am envisioning it as entirely literal. whats up with this weird guy and his red right hand. well he got me a new car so he cant be all that bad. he definitely casts a shadow wherever he stands but you know itd be kind of weird if he didnt

this marks the beginning of his quest to find lasting friends minions. clearly just bribing them wont really work

evil friends by portugal. the man

it's not because the light here is brighter and it's not that I'm evil i just don't like to pretend that i could ever be your friend

return of the light motif and the cataclysmic collision of greeds refusal to lie and his refusal to accept the most basic truth about himself. hes gotten to the point where hes able to recognize that who he is isnt a bad thing, but he still cant connect the dots and understand that he was lied to from the start about who he is at all. so he says shit like this with full confidence

let me bathe in demonic light by the mountain goats

someday the old flesh will give way to the new find a functioning mirror inside and slip right through and there, there i'll be and who, who's coming with me? to show me my one true face when i arrive at my preordained place

the light theme continues, and illustrates the fact that in starting to seek out immortality he's retreading the same ground as father-- making the same mistakes. the hunger, as the lyrics explain, runs "deep in the bloodline". just like father, he cant do it alone, and calls on others to join him, while the lyrics run in direct contrast to the past song by saying the word "friend" multiple times. this will continue

amy aka spent gladiator 1 by the mountain goats

i hide down in my corner because i like my corner i am happy where the vermin play

i might wind up relocating this somewhere else on the playlist at some point but right now the sound fits well in this part so. song about Coping, and not necessarily coping healthily or well. but hes surviving, with his little crimelord hobby

if i lead by kiltro

show me the ways that you talk and all of the places you walk if i lead would you follow? let me at the corners where the light don’t touch colors, figures sway love, they might lift you away from the street to what’s under and everything that scatters by the light of day

weve got light again folks! this ones (very plainly i should think) about recruiting the gang. he asks for their trust and brings them down into the underbelly of dublith.

modern jesus by portugal. the man

don't pray for us we don't need no modern jesus to roll with us the only rule we need is never giving up the only faith we have is faith in us

the Greed Crucifixion jokes are hilarious but this song i think fits very well as a refusal by the nest to treat him as anything but an equal, at least in terms of his being a homunculus. they dont want a god, they want a boss and an ally and a friend.

bourbon street by jeff tuohy

every night we throw this little soiree i'm gonna turn her head until she's mine, all mine every night I breed a new disaster might be right, might be wrong try to get away and i will bring you right along

another party song, this time with hints that being on his side isnt totally safe, and he might not be as in-control as he makes himself out to be. everyones having fun, though. for now!

guys on every corner by the mountain goats

with your tabloid stars and your unmarked cars with your special forces and your inside sources with your radar fields and your riot shields and heavy horses i'm coming to swat you down like flies 'cause i got guys

come at him, government. hes got guys.

act iv: the downfall

alligator teeth by mother falcon

i will turn my friends to gold for the treasury to hold them safely while they dream

a sudden shift in musical style to something way more... i dont quite know how to describe it but its soft at first and then turns frantic and its generally not the kind of music i would typically listen to for Fun but in the context of the events leading up to the raid i think the sound works to illustrate the confusion and fear. immortality, i think, was never just for greed. he wanted to protect his friends too. the lyrics start to repeat "i don't wanna ever dream", and then "'cause all it ever leads me to is bad things, bad things"-- this desire is exactly what gets them all killed.

king rat by modest mouse

we spun like birds on fire right down towards the residence, and i i took all that I desired, even crooks have to pay the rent we swam like rats on fire right, right down the reservoir we took all that we could carry, but we tried to carry more and you know, you know, you know it all went wrong

the musical panic continues into the next song, which describes a burglary gone sideways and perfectly captures the raid. greed tried to bite off more than he could chew and paid the price for it. plenty of the lyrics can be directly associated with the situation-- the "king rat" who "has (greed) on his list again", the "deep water" he's sinking in, the claim that he was "honest even when he cheated them". i dont think id be able to find a more fitting song for this part if i looked for a year

going to hell by the pretty reckless

father did you miss me don't ask me where i've been you know i know, yes, i've been told i redefine a sin i don't know what's driving me to put this in my head maybe i wish i could die, maybe i am dead and he said for the lives that i fake, i'm going to hell for the vows that i break, i'm going to hell

barring any better future options this song has provided the title for the whole playlist-- "redefine a sin". the in-context priest being called father really elevates this one, if the whole premise wasnt enough to begin with. a+ greedsong

heretic pride by the mountain goats

and i start laughing like a child and i mark their faces one by one transfiguration's going to come for me at last and i will burn hotter than the sun

maybe greeds emotional state is a little different from the narrator here, but overall this is a certified Song to Get Put in the Soup To

act v: rebirth

still feel. by half alive

floating in outer space, have i misplaced a part of my soul? lost in the in-between, or so it seems, i'm out of control floating in outer space, have i misplaced a part of my soul? lost in the in-between, but it can't keep me asleep for long 'cause i still feel alive

i can so vividly picture the animatic to this one. greeds little soulface flipping around in the stone. zooming in on fathers weird eyeball as he cries him out and puts him in different guys. the last verse being him coming to life again in lings body. why dont i have 7 million dollars

same man i was before by oingo boingo

i'm not the same boy I was before but I haven't changed my desires i've not extinguished the fires i haven't lost wide-eyed wonder i haven't lost, haven't lost, haven't lost that stupid fear of thunder

AND everyone keeps telling him everything he does is wrong. cut that out

ドーナツホール ft. GUMI by hachi

いつからこんなに大きな | When was it that I got these memories, 思い出せない記憶があったか | These big ones I can't remember? どうにも憶えてないのを | Out of what I just can't recall, ひとつ確かに憶えてるんだな | There's one thing I remember pretty well もう一回何回やったって | Try one more time, a hundred times, 思い出すのはその顔だ | All I remember is your face それでもあなたがなんだか | And yet you yourself, I'm not sure why, 思い出せないままでいるんだな | But I still can't remember you…

this is the bido song. look up the rest of the lyrics its about bido. i searched bido on japanese twitter one time and saw somebody else saying this song reminded them of greed and bido. its about greed and bido

act vi: memories returned

stronger by the score

set me on fire set me on, set me on fire (whoa, whoa-oh) i'm still alive i'm still a- i'm still alive (whoa) bet you didn't think that i'd come back to life

every single line fits him perfectly. youve all seen @humming-fly's animation right you dont need me to explain. if you havent what are you doing

long way down by black rebel motorcycle club

don't you cry to yourself just to feel like someone who's hit bottom? but you can't run away 'cause the hole that remains will follow don't you care just enough? don't you feel your heart stop? but you can't know what you want

after the emotional high of 'stronger', representing the anger overtaking him as he goes to attack bradley, 'long way down' takes us, well, Down. hes is so fucking sad. but he cant know what he wants! now more than ever! because to admit it would mean admitting he lost it!!!

clean slate by the mountain goats

rest until you're rested, climb back onto the caravan remember at your peril, forget the ones you can and then just when you think you've learned how to forget you learn it's just the ones who haven't risen to the surface yet

this is The Roadtrip Song. hes sorting through his memories and struggling the entire time. i owe john "the mountain" goats my life for continuing to make ten million songs about extremely specific situations. ideally id have so many more songs in this category but until i find more this is it for the time being

act vii: final sacrifice

human heart by thao

god damn your crooked mouth and lean your fear is a bullet in the wing is it so brave? tell me, is it so brave? the private posture of the self homemade

with this, we skip ahead to the final fight and the moment when he decides to sacrifice himself. shout out to whoever transcribed "eat and won't you be hungry" as "ethan won't you be hungry" on the spotify lyrics for this one, i dont know who ethan is but i hope he has a good lunch. what was i talking about. oh right

children play with fire by mischief brew

children lead us to the lake of fire (fire!) children lead us to the lake of fire (fire!) and as we drive down into the flames maybe I'll let you hold the reins

change da world... his final message. goodb ye

epilogue

just one more by mad caddies

no necesito la vida rica (i don't need the rich life) estoy contento contigo (i'm happy with you) 'cause in the end we all go the same place, yeah so i'll be happy with what i know

like the title says: just one more. because whatever form it takes, he IS partying it up in that shitty bar in the sky. and all his friends are there too.

like i said i would very much prefer to have more songs in the latter parts so if anybody has recommendations. please rant at me about the songs you associate with greed. and if i can fit them in i will. this post took me all day to make i have got to get some follower interaction out of it

[fulane-de-tal]

حببتي

give me love and araq and a bottle of wine

maybe paper or a phone

let me tell you of horrible things and of the wonder of

imagine self containedness and love

imagine finding yourself in the other

idfc who the other may be

jews and christians. a muslim woman

we’re sitting in a room really living really living

another room a different room. with my friend a hijabi a palestinian woman in a color coordinated outfit and khalid is in the back eating mehshi on his phone and hassan is smoking outside but alarabiyya news is on in the background or it’s that one sheikh with the volume

off and the two ouds in their bags above the mantel and the love of humans and the human generosity and i wanted to hug you and ask you to tell me of every loose pebble in the town where you grew up but i couldn’t and to my

friend the word home means ramallah at night when the lights are only ones left in 2008 and the houses become layl become night and dark and this rich thick waterthin darkness becomes all you are

i want you to tell me what that means to you

i want hou to tell me about each family you know abouthow my friend has relatives in my own home neighborhood about how if i go to the mosque (if i wear a hijab and follow through on what i told you, john, if i do what i should have done) and ask i will find her distant cousins and find her and help her create what home means for her (does home mean a small village left in 1927 does home mean thursday does home

mean a robins egg couch and all three major abrahamic religions and half the levant sitting in a room half crying half joyful about you and you and you and you and your found-out family? does home mean a place you can’t go to anymore?)

what about someone with a last name that doesnt exist that is immediately foreign depsite it whose mind is clogged abd fuzzy sentimental with araq whose hands are fat who needs people to feel real what will you do with her????????? god help me i want love not even like that i want things i know are impossible i want so badly want has become the foundation of my being please for the love of god cure me of thie eant and give me a good want a whole want a want for home a want for a name not this desperate want for self containment i cant do that anymore !!! give me a name god!!! give me a name that fits without a millimeter or atom or cell of strangeness

give me a bame that feeks right and send your righteous People to their home and give bring about peace because i cant take this anymore man thank you and hang tight and rock steady and surf well and ride the wave until it breaks thousand and tiny pieces stay safe and keep love and lose not hope friend for it is all we can have at the end and end and end of days now and forever may we not lose hope ameen

[moodindigov]

hey guys nerd moment about the title of the fic (this is long im sorry)

mood indigo was actually a jazz song released in the 1930’s by duke ellington, barney bigard with lyrics by irving mills, except bigard said that its real credit is derived from his clarinet teacher, Lorenzo Tio’s, melodies. so that clarinet part like biagrd’s solo? yea that was Lorenzo tio’s melodies that weren’t full developed and when bigard did finish them and show them so ellington, he liked it and it was included. and like its almost impossible to tell where ellington’s collaborators part begin bcs apparently he’s js that good at blending that stuff idk (dont take that last part as a fact thats purely from what i remember.) anyways, mood indigo is about a little boy and little girl who are eight. girl loves boy and while they never acknowledge the feelings, the girl waits at her window bcs the boy visits her. and the song basically describes the feeling the girl had when the boy didnt visit her. so you may be asking, duct why would u choose something like that as a title for a book about the slump in london 1930s and about criminal organizations? well, dear anon, here u r:

1. literal (?) meaning; im gonna be so honest with you i purely got this idea from brendan and neksa / jess and morgan. i couldnt stop thinking about that wonderful art i found of brendan and neksa it was of neksa as a raven or crow i dont rmb but point is that its gorgeous and stunning i love it. the idea that brendan denies his feelings of love for her purely because he half doesn’t want to acknowledge that he’s become so attached to a person in such an intimate way and half because he just cant risk his father (or anyone) finding out that he’s gone and practically betrayed his dad’s whole like symbolism in tje trading world (remember they don’t like the library. yk how contradicting it would be to have one of the biggest illegal book trader’s son dating someone from the library, especially someone who works in like the same facility as the archivist? yea its damnable like no ones gonna trust ca. brightwells or his business anymore.) anyways the literal meaning: girl is sad bcs boy didn’t visit/come back to her. brendan literally left neksa (the woman he was oh so deeply in love with) because he didn’t want to hurt her and played it off as the fact that he didn’t love her. and when jess comes back as brendan (lmaoo) i feel like you can imagine the smallest sliver of hope she had that they can be something again but its practically disappeared next to the pure anger and grief in her heart. and when neksa dies, brendan can’t visit her anymore. its literally not possible. (until he died then maybe they could be happy tgt). this is so many words words words guys i promise im not actually this much of a nerd on a daily basis this is just interesting to me. anyways, once again, girl is sad bcs boy didn’t visit her one day. umm we can go back and look into jess’ past: boy is eternally sad bcs his brother died. aka: boy is sad bcs his brother can’t visit him. like ever. sad sad sad moments💔💔

2. this is like an actual stretch but um i consider it okay so basically girl being sad is jess boy who didnt visit (or wont anymore) is a semblance of love or sanctuary. throughout the series its obvious that jess just doesn’t trust his family. im pretty sure he even says it like he does not trust them. but hey, maybe he did once. maybe he did when he was a little boy who had an older brother who he could rely on—one that taught him how to walk and that taught him the basics. someone who he could go to for advice and who could help him keep his head above water. now we don’t have a characterization, but i’m going off of @thegreatlibraryfangirl’s advice and kinda semi-making my own..so um sorry if u dont like that guys..but anyways i feel like the moment jess starts to really rely and trust the other’s is the moment that melancholy feeling, that mood indigo, goes away. it doesnt go away completely, theres always gonna be a solid chunk never satisfied but thats okay because he has people he can trust with his life that will help him get through it. not only this but the bond that jess and dario (will) share in this au represents that. they’re both young—maybe 13 max but they both lack one thing that only they can give esch other; sanctuary.

[kxmikomrade]

oh ho ho

why hello there

I just read through a bunch of the stuff you have about yourself, and now you have to deal with me <3

so first of all: i saw that you really liked blue period, and I was wondering how you'd recommend it? I keep on wanting to watch it but my mind goes "but you have this thing" and "what about the other three animes you're watching" but who cares! It looks really pretty tho. Also me and my partner are going to watch Bungo Stray Dogs together (eventually-) bc it's his favorite anime lol.

ok next point: WATERMELON IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS I LOVE WATERMELON. MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM IS THE BEST. and i agree, winter and autumn are the best seasons. rain. rain is nice :).

third and i think final thing: you're learning japanese, you say? ok, i have a few questions for you. what are you learning it on? (i'm learning it on the demon bird app, aka duolingo). what words have you learned? what do you know about the grammar/word structure? and the scary one: have you started learning the terror that is katakana? (if no, it's just another alphabet with the same order and sounds, except different characters. i hate katakana :,>) because i can't type in japanese on my chromebook, i'll just use the romanji. But expect me to send you random hiragana and have you say what it is!

Kimu-san, yahho! Anata ga kakkoii to karai desu yo! (i promise you it's a compliment <3)

try to tell me what that means, and expect more random japanese in your future :)

anyways have a lovely day byeee <3

when i saw the 'oh ho ho' i heard french venti LMAOOO 💀💀

omg new moot guys NEW MOOT !! u match my vibe so <3

BLUE PERIOD IS SO SHHEHEHEHHE esp if ur an artist like myself, it gives u a different and probably more professional view of art ^^ For wat i like abt it, i'd say da characters and how theyre written. The main character is pretty relatable. Theres another character who has family issues and may be trans (or genderfluid? it isnt confirmed but she was born male, currently dresses feminine and hates it when people uses her dead name). Another one who was born a 'Genius' but doesnt really understand art, hes only doing it bcs its basically wat he can only do. Another character who'm gets compared to her older sister and so on. Even minor characters have well written stories I suggest u watch da anime THEN read da manga from da beginning :>> Sanaol may partner- jkjk ur prob fil but imagien having a partner 😭 my lonely ass could never U SHOULDD WATCH BSD!! I LOVEEE DA ENDINGS ITS SUCH A VIBE AND DA OPS R BANGERS UGH THE CHARACTER DESIGNS AND PLOT I WANNA 👊 ITS INTERESTING BUT I SUGGEST ALSO READING THE MANGA FROM THE BEGINNING SINCE THE ANIME SKIPS ALOT OF THINGS AND IT MIGHT GET U CONFUSED 😭😭 Also, hes so true for that, hes DEF a keeper 💪 unless hes a mori/fukuchi stan then ew no

YESSS WATERMELON AND MINT CHOCO CHIP ICECREAM LOVERSS <333 Honestly, cold weathers >>>>>>

Im currently just memorizing da basics; hiragana and katakana before i continue off where i left off in grammar and vocab (i'll most likely start over since its been arounf half a year and i have goldfish memory 🥲) Ive already memorized hiragana, now im going with katakana but im focusing on art lately since i just got my stylus back so im prob not gonna do it for awhile but i'll try to before may >:DD I currently only use 'Write it Japanese!' app on mobile, its REALLY useful, idk anything to help with grammar but my jp speaking friend recommends da book 'Minna no nihongo'. She used to be my jp study buddy but shes been VERY busy with uni lately so :'''D AND YES BBG (can i call u dat??) LETS PRACTICE TOGETHER <33 tbh it would be better if we use hiragana/katakana/kanji (i literally dont know kanji SOBS) since it helps us learn!! AND DAT WOULD BE FUNN

From just my understanding: 'Kim-san, Yahoo/hello! Youre a cool person [smth smth]'

from google: 'Kimu, Yahoo! It hurts to think you're cool' (pls get ur shit together google 😭😭i couldnt call my friends bitches lovingly bcs of u)

YES I'LL BE EXPECTING THEM <33 I HOPE U HAVE A LOVELY DAY TOO HON

LMAO WAT DO I CALL U?? I WANNA ADD UR MOOT TAG

[crime-bot]

okay so i definitely recommend you search what ken looks like because he looks like goro (& shido) a lot (i've always thought shido had browner-yellowy eyes and ken has brown eyes, shido's goatee? is spiky and so is ken's hair (& we can assume shido had spiky hair), its just a lot of that. ken looking more like their father and goro looking like their mom is also so real.. theyre identical twins regardless cause the differences seem tiny when theyre next to eachother (theres actually a fic called the sword & the scale and it goes into them being half-siblings its whatnstarted my ideas and its so good. the latest chapter has them talking to the PTs and everyone unable to tell them apart because they keep doing everything the same) ANYWAY. ken lore time.

ok, basically in p3 .. do you remember that dude with the rogue persona i told you about whos NOT a villain? that's shinjiro aragaki. hes really important to ken lore. ok so basically his persona's rogue: 2 years before p3 takes place (takes place 2009-2010,) on october 4th, 2007, shinjiro's persona went rogue and killed ken's mom (& made their whole building collapse.) shinjiro felt bad and quit the SEES and went back to living on the streets (he was previously at an orphanage before the SEES but that was burnt down) and shinjiro keeps taking the persona suppressors (which are killing him. he starts wearing a beanie and heavy jacket bc hes cold all the time bc he cant regulate his temp anymore.) fast forward to 2009, where ken gets a persona called nemesis (greek goddess of revenge) and learns how to use .. i forgot what its called but its kinda like a pole? ykwim. anyway. he plans to kill shinjiro (bc he doesnt know it was an accident) for killing his mom and almost does it on october 4th 2009 when takaya (also rogue persona haver. villain. extremely gay for shinjiro & his fellow villain jin tbh. takaya makes me sad anyways) shows up and goes to kill ken, but shinjiro blocks it and gets shot and dies instead. sound familiar to one persona 5 boy? ken never kills again ( hes literally 11 in 2009 btw. goro turned 16 in 2014 when he killed wakaba. these kids were YOUNG. goro started working with shido when he was 15, since in nov he says its been almost 2 & a half years of working w eachother) and instead basically gets adopted by the kirijo group? idk its never explained but in p3 the kirijo group stages ken's mom death as a car accident (bc it originally happened in the dark hour) and the main makoto-ish girl is mitsuru kirijo (who is an icon and hates the group so we love her) but anyway we never really get an explanation with who ken is staying with, he just stays with the SEES? so im saying the kirijo adopted him.

anyway.. them as kids together would be ... very odd. hectic if they were deaged to after their mom died (& in the au goro sees she killed herself but then a few mins after the house gets fucking destroyed by castor/shinjiro's persona so ken never knows she killed herself. boy who doesnt know any jp/doesnt speak having to help his little brother who knows jp/speaks drag their mom & themselves out of the rubble of the house immediately after seeing his mom hang. doesnt say anything to his brother abt it 💔💔)

Ayy I survive! Thanks for the patience man

The wildest part is that I've Seen Ken before, multiple times, and I never really made these connections. I could definitely see them as twins, and oh man I wanna check out that fic later!

God that's wild, to be fair I've known of bits and pieces about Ken and his backstory, but nothing in great detail, so it's wild to see the bigger picture (and some more about Shinjoro! This poor guy!). A hot temper and steady will really seems to run in the family.

Dude that would be so wild!!!! I'd love to see the shit they'd get up to, as well as witness the kind of emotional processing they should've been allowed to have, with the support of the PTs and Akria's confidants. When it comes to traumatic experiences, it is crucial that there are multiple people of different kinds that the person is able to turn to after the fact to talk to and have support from

[missspringthyme]

February 8th, 2024

So before I explain today, I have to give a little context for last night. Due to not having a period in over a year, I missed the retrospectively obvious signs of what was about to happen and bled onto my sheets while I was blow drying my hair. Why was I blow drying my hair? Because I decided to make sure I showered before coming to my sister's because from what she's described, I'm not stepping foot in hers. This also meant that I didn't go to bed until past midnight even though I had an alarm set for 5am. Lovely.

Alarm goes off, I'm in hell. After a few too many snoozes, I get up and start to get ready. I've packed all my toiletries already, so I'm using my B list backup products. This includes a brand new tube of concealer that is allegedly the same shade as the one I've packed, but this is a lie. It looks clown white on my face. I decide that perhaps I could fix it with some bronzer, but I don't use it very often and the one I have in a palette I mostly use for my eyes. Now, I look like an orange. I try my best to fix what has gone wrong, but I look at my clock and see I'm running out of time. I drop third culture Australian's hairdryer in front of his door, skip breakfast, grab snacks and rush out the door. Google maps estimates that I will not get to the bus station by 7am, I still have to try.

I power walk through the cold, misty morning where the only signs of life are the bakeries. I press my feet into the ground again and again until my 30 minute walk becomes a 24 minute walk. I'm going to make it in just the nick of time. I get there and I wait and wait and wait before discovering the heist I've pulled off on myself. I put the time the bus leaves as 30 minutes earlier in my calendar so that I would get there on time. I only wish I had stopped to eat breakfast.

Bus ride is fine, I mostly sleep. Get off at Rotterdam to get my train to Utrecht and sit freezing for about an hour. I manage to get on an earlier train and sit next to a woman who smells like my grandma. Like a bathroom after someone's blowdryed their hair, a little perfumey. I haven't smelled that in a very long time and I think about it the entire train ride.

At the station I text my sister and tell her I arrived early. I lean against a railing near the turnstiles and wait for her to show up. I'm a little zoned out so she manages to scare me when she comes to say hello. She gives me options for lunch and we decide to find a restaurant in the city center because she never eats out and it's her birthday. We walk for a bit and pop into a store that I loved in Scotland. Inside, my sister finds one of those hats with a propeller on top and I take some pictures of her wearing it. She keeps saying she wants to go back and buy it. She also seems entranced by a geldautomaat that is just a yellow room filled with ATMs. She explains that it's because there's "no real banks here".

We find a little cafe that looks like it has good options, it's raining so we were looking for somewhere indoors but not too expensive. My sister doesn't like making decisions and she keeps telling me to do it for her because it's her birthday. She tries to order in dutch and doesnt do half bad, but eventually switches to english. I also find out she doesnt know what halloumi is, but we get fallafel pitas anyway, She does pay for my lunch, I'm guessing because she knows that I've not really had a ton of money because of the paying for family therapy thing, but I tell her that it's done. We talk about how and why that ended and about our family and speaking German and a bunch of other things.

We head back to go pick her bike up from the huge storage building. She's very excited to show me it, and she's talked about it repeatedly since moving here. The only empty spot we had found was a rack that was off the ground that seemed to be stuck, so I has helped her lift the bike up into it. Alas, when we retrieved the bike we discovered how to get it to slide out and down, you live and you learn

She has class today so we have to head to her campus quickly, and she offers for us to either take the tram or for me to ride on the back of her bike. I've never ridden on the back of a bike before so I go for that option. It's more difficult than I thought it would be (I was warned it was an ab work out but its actually my hip flexors that are burning), and I have to be careful with my legs because my sister keeps riding a little to close to the side of the road (she smacks me into a cone at one point). As she bikes, she point s out things we pass. Why this or that building is important or interesting, or the grocery stores that she likes best.

At her dorm, I drop off my stuff and meet the people she lives with before we go to pick up some flowers that are waiting for her at reception. The note says they're from my mom. Afterwards, she gives me a tour of her campus. I can see why she chose to go here, it suits her well, but it feels like a little bubble. Everyone here stays and lives on campus and everything she needs is a 5 minute walk away. Very American style. After she comes back from class we get ready to go out and eat dinner with a few of her friends. We go to a pizza place 15 minutes before the kitchen closes, but they still bring out a birthday tiramisu for her, which was incredibly delicious. We eat quickly and leave so that the restaurant can close. We stop and look and look at some tiles painted with chairs on the way back and I think of my insane AP lang and comp test that had the most batshit pieces of text i've ever read in my life including a long on essay on chairs and what they tell you about their owners.

Back on campus, my sister decided to take a running leap into a puddle and fell fully on her ass in the mud. Luckily, she was wearing her yellow raincoat, but her backside was still fully covered in mud. She decided the best course of action was to shower fully dressed in her concrete shower, but eventually I had to help her using the little hand held shower head. She was sad she couldn't wear her jeans anymore because she was counting on them to make a more basic top work, so I tried to help her find a different birthday outfit. Eventually she settled on something and her friends started arriving for the little get together she was having. She served chips and blue takis(?) And frantically washed cups and mugs so everyone would have a glass to drink out of. Their kitchen has a mouse so she doesn't trust any of the dishes in there.

They took photos and eventually everyone left to go to a reggaton night except for a few of her friends who brought out a cake covered in different photos of things that she likes/represent her. She thought for a moment and then blew out the candles, before begging everyone to please eat as much of the cake as they could. We then went to her campus bar, where we played some darts and danced. Initially my sister wasn't going to do this tradition where you stand on the bar and drink a cup full of shots while "its my birthday" plays in the background, but she caved and did it anyway. She also finally agreed to wear a paper party hat while we danced. Her friends kept trying to get her to dance with guy, but she was not having it. If she ever ends up dating anyone, I will be truly shocked.

We go to bed at 3 in the morning.