#and not stressing myself out over some dick on the web

[glitchdollmemoria]

man some people are fucking obnoxious. is it the anonymity of the internet that makes people think they can just act like jackasses to people unprompted or are some people literally just Like That. can yall please all just learn to not be aggressive for zero reason

[jadedxrealityw]

-Opposites- Peter Parker x Female Reader

    ☼-☪-☼

   Kody: sassy reader for the win

   Movie/Show: Spider-Man: Homecoming / Infinity war / Endgame

   Request: hi, how are you? i hope everything is okay! it's ok if i ask for some peter×reader where the reader is all sass and peter is all shy and cute maybe? idk, don't really have something specific in mind, but i really like your writing thank you! 💕 @loudbluepancake

   Possible Triggers / Warnings: cursing, puke/throwing up/vomit, angst because i suck, Peter being to innocent for his own good

    ☼-☪-☼

      people always say opposites attract. That two completely different people could cherish each other. You didn’t really believe in such superstitions for most of your life. That was until you met Peter Parker in chemistry class, it was like your whole idealism was thrown into orbit. 

   it was sophomore year and you despised anything science related. Mostly because you sucked at it- okay that’s the only reason. Your teacher had issued some work packet, about six pages to be finished by the end of class. The urge to throw yourself out the window was growing by the second. 

   you guessed your internal struggle became visible at one point because you felt a light tap on your shoulder. 

   your head snapped to the left like an owl, startling the brown haired boy in front of you “What?” you said rather harshly due to your stress. He purses his lips together, contemplating whether it was a good idea to come over to you after all, he just had to listen to Ned.

   he holds out his hand, offering it for her to shake with a nervous smile “I’m Peter- uh Peter Parker. I saw you were um- struggling? I can help” he says, stumbling over his words a bit, something he usually did. You eyed him up and down, noting his nervous stature. 

   narrowing your eyes for a second, you sigh “Yeah clearly. I’d appreciate that. I’m Y/n by the way” you reach and grab his hand, shaking it twice before letting go. “Pretty- i mean your name is pretty. Sorry” he apologized quickly. Watching him trip over himself was kinda funny.

   “Well i hope i don’t look ugly either” you said, a small grin on your face as his drops to a worried look. “No!-” he exclaims, earning a harsh shoosh from the teacher in front of the classroom and a few weird stares at his outburst. Peter takes notice and smiles nervously around the room. 

   he turns to look at you and sighs “That was joke wasn’t it?” his face scrunches up. He looked cute that way “Yeah, but i would actually like your help” you admit with a half smile. He blinks mindlessly for a moment before exhaling deeply “Alright”

   and that’s how it started

    ☼-☪-☼

   six months later

   after your quick encounter, would would always bug Peter on chemistry work when it didn’t make sense to you, so most of the time. “I- I’m busy Y/n” he spoke, not looking in your direction “With what?” you asked, not believing him in the slightest. He was such a bad liar.

   his hands clench a bit as he crosses his arms “I’m going out of town for a bit” he says and Ned nods along with him. Ned didn’t look like he was lying, so you figured he was in the dark too? Unfortunately you were a hot head “when you want to buck up and tell me the fucking truth, delete my number” 

   Peter looks up at you, his mouth opening to say something. He wanted to say something, anything really, but he knew he couldn’t. How was he supposed to say he was going to Germany to fight Captain America with Tony Stark. Oh yeah he was also Spider-Man!, but he really wanted too. 

   his mouth closed and you took that as your cue to leave. Turning on your heels, you walk towards the door of the classroom “Y/n!” Peter calls out, but instead of turning round you lift your hand up and flip him off. As you walk out the door Peter drops his head onto the table. 

   “That girl has too much sass for her own good” Ned says, Peter just folded his arms and sighs, but he did agree. You on the other hand were huffing and puffing as you walked out, trying to calm yourself down and convince yourself that Peter blowing you off shouldn’t hurt as much as it did. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   two weeks later

   you were sitting at your desk looking at your chemistry textbook and taking notes. The truth was you had been taking Peter’s study techniques to heart and were actually passing because of it. You had just gotten so used to Peter coming over to help you study for tests that you assumed he’d be there. 

   maybe it was selfish of you too expect him to bend to your will, but he was your only friend other then Ned and Maybe Michelle, but she was more of a loner at the moment, but she’d come around. You liked watching him teach you because he was confident in the way he spoke.

   but you loved his shy side, because you could get an reaction out of him by anything you said- that sounded more mean then it should. You were brought back to reality once you hear your cat meow next to you, since they were sitting on your desk. 

   “Do you think he has a girlfriend and that’s why he blew me off?” you ask your furry fellow who nuzzles it’s head into your hand. “It’s not like i would care if he had a girlfriend. We don’t even like each other like that” you shrug your shoulders, the words not feeling right as you say them.

   “Are you talking to your cat?”

   “What the fuck!” you shout and jump out your chair to face your window. Perched on the windowsill was a guy in a red and dark blue spider suit. Spider-Man. He raises his hands up in defense, almost falling back out the window “Okay okay, maybe i should have knocked” he joked.

   was he- making jokes?

   you turn to your desk and grab from the stack of textbooks, chemistry. You chuck it at him and he catches it “Yeah that’s not gonna work” he says with an amused laugh, but it’s cut short s you throw your english book next and it hits him straight in the head. 

   “Ow! What is your problem?!” he shouts and throws your books onto your bed. You deadpan and gesture to the room “Your in a 15 year old girls room you fucking creep!” you shout back. “If it makes you feel any better i’m also 15!” he says, dodging more flying books and throwing them on the bed.

   “It doesn’t dipshit, your still a man!” 

   “Okay okay, i’m sorry!” he apologizes, letting out a groan as he grabbed his his side. You narrow your eyes and drop the book you were holding “What’re you hurt or something?” you question, He lets out a small laugh “Ran into a mugger on the way here- i mean i live around here”

   “Right and you stopped by my room because?” you say, not fully trusting spider boy over here. “I heard you talking to yourself- well cat and thought you needed some company” he shrugs. At this point you thought he was either a creep or a really nice dumb guy. 

   “Why were you talking to your cat. Don’t have friends?” he said and you life up the book again to throw it at him “No no no i mean like you seem like a nice gal, so i assumed you would have friends?” he quickly mustered up the words. You roll your eyes “Nice save” you say before sitting on your bed.

   “I have three, one is busy with crime documentaries, one is building legos, and i’m not talking to the third” a frown overtook your face. Spider-man stepped through the window and sat down, leaning against the wall “What’s the reason?” he said, sounding unsure if that made sense. 

   “He’s a dick and lied to me” you reply, hoping off the bed to sit on the floor, but still lean against the wooden frame of said bed. “How do you know he lied?” Spider-man questioned “He shoves his hands under his armpits and doesn’t make eye contact with me. He’s also just a shit liar”

   Spider-man went silent after that, mumbling something to himself before eventually speaking up “Maybe he had a good reason?” he said and you rolled your eyes. “I told him everything about myself and he lied to me. Maybe everyone else was right”

   “Everyone else?”

   “Most of our other classmates and people in our year in general think i’m obnoxious, loud, and just overall an overbearing attitude. Ned, my other friend just calls it sass.” cracking a smile, you advert your eyes to your hands to mindlessly pick at your nails. 

   you weren’t able to see as Spider-man’s fist clenched before sighing “Does he know about what they say about you?” he asked, already knowing the answer “Nah” you shake your head “I didn’t want to worry ‘bout lil old me. I guess someone got to him”

   “I don’t think that’s true”

   “How so spidey?”

   “If i was your friend i’d never believe what other people say about you. You don’t seem obnoxious” he says. That was kind ff sweet of him “Well you don’t seem like the kind of guy to fight Captain America, plus some other avengers but i saw the news yesterday”

   he reached behind to scratch the back of his clothed neck “That’s on the news already?” he asked. You lift your head and nod “Yeah dude, some people stayed back and recorded it i guess” you shrug, thinking that was a plausible answer. “Aw man” he whines, making you chuckle. 

   “I think you held your own for a good amount of time. i would have probably died, but i can’t shoot webs out my wrist so it only makes sense” you wave your hands a bit “Hey! i also have enhanced strength, reflexes, and speed. I’m amazing” he gloats. 

   “Alright Spider boy don’t let that go to your big head” 

   “It’s Spider-man, thank you very much” he replies with as much sass “I’m already rubbing off on you, get out of here before you become my clone” you joke, standing off the ground, Spider-man doing the same. You saw his mask move as he laughed a bit.

   “I should get home and you better call your friend, even if it’s just yell. I’m sure he’d want to hear your voice after how long?” he asked, going over to the window “Two weeks” you say, stepping towards him “Yeah he definitely misses you. See you around”

   “yeah yeah i will. See you round Spidey. Get that rib checked out by the way” you point at him in a mock scolding tone. He shakes his head “I will too, bye” and with that he fell back out the window. You went over and looked at the sidewalk just as he swung passed you. 

   he waves and you do too before shutting the window. What a weird dude. You look back at your desk and spot your phone “Dammit” you mumble and walk over slowly, like the device was going to jump out and bite your damn finger off. Once your close you grab your phone and swipe up, unlocking it. 

   you click on the green phone button. It opens up and you click contacts until you see ‘P.B Parker’ it was funny at the time you made it, now it seemed stupid. fuck, why did this seem so hard all of the sudden? You quickly click the call button before your mind could make you pussy out. 

   it rang once, then twice.. “Hello?” you press the phone to your ear, feeling nerves nip at your skin “Hey Parker” you say and it went silent for a few moments “It’s- uh It’s nice to hear your voice, i thought you’d ignore me forever” he says with a nervous laugh. 

   “Nah, i don’t have enough friends to do that. What were you really doing the past two weeks?” you ask, hoping to get straight answer from him “I was working with Tony Stark, i got an internship with him. I wanted it to be a surprise” he said. “Now i feel like a bitch”

   “Don’t- i. I should have said something. I don’t like when your mad at me Y/n. It’s both scary and depressing” he admits, which made your chest feel a bit warm “It’s because i’m so amazing i know” you reply, making him chuckle “Yeah, you are”

   you two ended up talking on the phone for hours about nothing and everything. He seemed more confident in the way he spoke as well, but you will always like the shy side of him. It was also the night you figured out you liked your best friend. 

   ☼-☪-☼

   one month later

   “Hey guys, Peter’s in his room. I’m making turkey meatloaf” May says as she steps aside so you and ned could come through. May wraps her arms around you and squeezes you tightly “May. Losing. Oxygen. Tell my mom. I love her” you say dramatically and she laughs, letting go.

   you smile as she kisses your forehead before going back to the kitchen “Five bucks says she burns it” Ned says and you nod, shaking his hand. Both you and Ned walk into Peter’s room, not bothering to knock because you both suck “Where the hell is he?” Ned asked and you shrug. 

   “May said he was here, so she probably doesn’t know he’s out. I’m not snitching’” you raise your hands, pushing the door a bit with your foot. Ned rolls his eyes and goes over to Peter’s bed placing the box of legos down “I’ll call him” he says and you nod, taking a seat at his desk. 

   Ned lifts his phone to his ear and you could hear as it rang a rang, but Peter never picked up “I’ll text him were here and i guess will wait?” he says, unsure. You shoot him a shrug “Whatever you want to do dude” you reply. Ned sighs as he texts rapidly on his phone before looking at you.

   “What?”

   “You are no help sometimes, you know?” 

   “Fully aware. Now let’s build that death star thing to rub it in his face” you suggest, going over to sit next to Ned “It’s just death star” he says and you roll your eyes this time “Yeah whatever. Now open it up before i put legos in your shoe”

       ☼-☪-☼

   a couple hours later

   “I don’t even know what it’s supposed to look like, but damn that’s cool” you say, looking at the fully built death star in the hands on Ned “Yeah! We have to take a picture for Peter-” Ned stopped talking as you both heard the window to the left of you both. 

   you tilted your head to watch as the the similar figure wearing red and dark blue suit clung onto the wall. What. The. Fuck!? Both you and Ned are stunned into the silence at the fact that Spider-man just crawled through your best friends room. 

   was this a normal thing for him?

   you were just beginning to process what was happening until Spider-man reached up to grab his mask and rip it off his head. You should have looked away, but you didn’t and what you saw some reason made you feel sick. The dorky face of Peter Parker.

   what

   the

   fuck

   Peter slowly crawled across the ceiling until he was a few feet to the right of his door. He lifts his arm and shoots a web, slowly pulling it closed. Once he could no longer do that, his feet detached from the ceiling and he was dangling by one arm for a second until that detached as well. 

   he went to the door and used his hand to fully shut it, letting out a deep sigh. He turns around and his whole body freezes up, his  brown eyes going back and forth between you and Ned. Ned drops the death star, causing it too crash onto the floor and break apart. Damn- 

   Ned stood up abruptly while you looked around, reaching for the trash can beside his bed. You grab it and release the lunch you had earlier in it. “What was that?!” May called from the kitchen. Peter looked back and the door with a worried look “UH! Nothing! Nothing!” he shouts back.

   he looked back at Ned, who looked like he was bubbling with questions already “Your the Spider-man, from youtube” he breathes out. Peter pats his chest as his suit deflates around him. You look up for a moment, wiping your mouth to see Peter just in his boxers. “I’m not. I’m not” Peter repeats

   fuck, Shit, Damn- 

   emotions were everywhere at the moment. Wait did he have abs!? “You were on the ceiling you dipshit!” you shout at him, pointing up with your finger. Peter looks like he’s about to implode “NO i wasn’t. Guys what’re you doing in my room?!” 

   is he- trying to- turn this on you guys?

   “May let us in. You said we were going to finish the death star?!” Ned explains hastily. “You can’t just bust into my room!” Peter shoust back just as the door opens, causing him to stand next to Ned as smoke came filing into the room. Jesus, was the house on fire- oh nevermind. 

   damn you owned Ned five bucks. May came in laughing to herself “That turkey meatloaf recipe is a disaster. Lets go to dinner. Thai? Ned, Y/n you wan’t Thai?” she says, reaching up to take the clip out of her hair. Ned smiles “Yeah actually-” 

   “No he’s got a thing”

   “A thing to do after” Ned corrects, smiling nervously as May looked at you, waiting for your answer “I just puked in this trash can so” you say simply making May’s face become worried “Okay, i’ll go get some stomach medicine” she says, grabbing for the handle 

   “Maybe put on some clothes” 

   Peter purses his lips together and grabs a grey sweatshirt off his desk chair quickly. May smiles and closes the door, Peter going back to standing in front of both of you. Ned raises his hand gesturing to the door “Oh! She doesn’t know!” Ned says. 

   Peter sighs before turning back to ned. “No, nobody knows. Well Mr. Stark knows, but that’s because he made my suit, but that’s it” he explains, showing his arms through the sleeves of the sweatshirt. “Tony Stark made you that? Are you an avenger?” Ned says in pure disbelief. 

   Peter’s mouth went agape for a moment until his head did that cute, stupid little nod thing “Yeah basically” he says, shrugging his shoulders. Ned dramatically leaned against the bunk bed “Oh Jeez” Peter went to stand directly in front of him. You finally stood up and stood next to Ned

    “Dude, you guys can’t tell anyone about this. You gotta keep this a secret” he says in a hushed tone. This is a first seeing him so serious “A secret, why?” Ned says and you facepalm next to him “Seriously?” you say, whacking Ned’s arm. who swats your hand away. 

   Peter’s voice suddenly got very high in pitch “You know what she’s like. If she finds out people are trying to kill me every single night, she’s not going to let me do this anymore” he says, gesturing to the door every couple words. “Come on Ned please” Peter begs. 

   “Okay, okay, okay, kay I’m gonna level with you.I don’t think i can keep this a secret ” he says and Peter sighs, turning his head away “This is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me” he says. He acted like he just found out that he himself was Spider-man instead of Peter. 

   “May can not know. I can not do that to her right now, you know?. With everything that’s happened with her I- please” he pleaded his case once more, his voice cracking a bit. It would have pained you to see him like that a little more if the urge to strangle him wasn’t there. 

   “Okay”

   “Just swear it okay, both of you”

   “I swear” Ned says and Peter looks at you. “Yeah i swear, for May’s sake” you make sure to point out you were still pissed at him. “Thank you” Peter says anyway. “Okay” you shrug your shoulders. Peter ran a hand through his hair “I can’t believe this is happening right now”

   “Is the internal freakout kicking in Spidey?” you say with a small grin on your face. “Can i try the suit on?” Ned asked “No“ both you and Peter say at the same time. “How does it work? Is it magnets?” How do you shoot the strings?” Ned kept the questions rolling. 

   Peter grabbed his arm, leading him towards the door “I’mma tell you this at school tomorrow okay?” he said and Ned nods as Peter grabs the door handle “Great. Wait ” Ned says and they both stop at the door. Did he forget about you. “How do you do this and the Stark internship” he asks. 

   wow

   Peter gives him a strange look “This is the Stark internship” he says and Ned smiles, nodding “Oh” Peter shakes his head and shoves Ned through the door “Just get out” he says and shuts it. He turns his back and leans against it, exhaling deeply. 

   you take a seat on his bed and grab your black sneakers so you can slip them on. “What’re you doing?” Peter asked, pushing himself off the door “Leaving. What does it look like genius?” you snap at him as you stand up once more “But May said she’d bring you some-”

   “I’ll tell her i’m fine. I just want to go home” you say and go to grab your bag off the floor when Peter shoots a web at it, pulling it towards him “I know your mad at me” he says “Oh so he is a genius, what do you want? a cookie. Give me my bag Peter” you say bitterly. 

   “I wanted to tell you, i really did. Especially after that night in your room-”

   “Don’t even bring that up”

   “Y/n please, just let me and explain” he begs as you walk towards him and go for the handle, but he shoots a web onto it before you can even touch it. You sigh and look at him with a glare “Fine” you submit and he nods, dropping your bag beside him. 

   “I was a normal kid my whole life and then my world was flipped over. I could do things no one else could and it was awesome, but i knew i couldn’t tell anyone but at the same time i knew i could help people. So i did and it became my new normal”

   you listened quietly, trying not to give off any emotions or whatever “then six months ago i met a girl who couldn’t do her chemistry work, so much so that she was breaking her pencil and didn’t even notice. Everyone calls her obnoxious and full of attitude, but i think she’s perfect”

   “Are you flirting with me Peter?” you asked and he smiles sheepishly “No- well yes, but i’m trying to tell you i like you. Like- like like you” he said then immediately averted his eyes away from you. “Oh” you breathed out, in shock yourself.  

   “Yeah”

   a few moments went by and both of you didn’t say a word, just stared at each other awkwardly. Peter seemed to become antsy by the second because out of nowhere he grabs your face with both of his hands, planting his lips on yours. It took you a second, but you kissed him back.

   wait

   pushing him away, you wipe your mouth “Peter i just puked in your trash can dumbass!”

    ☼-☪-☼

   two years later / senior year

   “I fucking hate bridges” you groan, slumping down into your seat. Field trips sucked ass, especially when you had to drive over a bridge. “You’ll be fine” Peter reassures, wrapping an arm around you. You narrow your eyes and look at him “When we drive off this bridge and die. I’m blaming you”

   Peter shook his head before his face dropped and he looked at his arm. The hairs on his arm standing up. He takes his arm from around your head and places his hand over the hairs, causing your head to fall back “Ow. What the hell Peter?” you glare, 

   you sit up in your seat and spot what he’s looking at. Oh aliens- that’s fucking great. Wait your boyfriend is a superhero “Peter” you say, but he looks at the back of the bus before reaching in the front to tap Ned in the face. Ned takes out his earbud and looks back at him.

   “Hey Hey. I need you to cause a distraction” 

   “Ned don’t” You say, but it’s too late, Ned spots the spaceship, his face lighting up “Holy shit. We’re all gonna die!” he shouts, getting the attention of everyone on the bus. “Peter” you say again. Everyone gets out there seats and strats to crowd the back of the bus. “It’s a spaceship!”

   Peter reaches into his backpack and pulls out his web-shooter, slapping it on his wrist. It connects automatically. He points it out the window on the other side of the bed and shoots a web at the latch, pulling it open. You grab his arm, finally catching his attention “Peter for fucks sake think about this”

   “It’ll be fine. I always come back, you know this. I’ll see in a couple hours okay?” Peter flashes you a smile. You sigh and nod “Fine, come back soon” you say and he nods, leaning down to peck your lips. “I Love you, bye” he spoke quickly before launching himself out the window. 

   he had never said i love you before

    ☼-☪-☼

   you were at home, religiously watching the news on your phone, switching to other channels if they didn’t have any view of Peter.  Speaking of Peter, he was currently holding onto Doctor Strange as something was beaming it up “Peter just let go” you say to yourself. 

   but you knew he wouldn’t

   you watched as the light post that was keeping him down was ripped out the earth and your boyfriend shot through the air, leaving earth with that spaceship. He was gone, but he would come back. That’s what he told you. Like she had been watching herself Mj’s contact appeared on your phone. 

   scrambling across your bed, you grab your phone, answering it “Y/n” she says before you have a chance to explode on her “He’s gone Mj What am i supposed to do?” you say, your words breaking like you had forgotten how to speak. Mj waits a few seconds before responding.

   “He’ll be back. No get some rest it’s late will meet at the cafe next to your house with Ned”

    ☼-☪-☼

   two days later

   “Y/n, you looked like you haven’t slept” Ned points out, causing you to send a glare his way “Yeah no shit, my boyfriend is in fucking space and i haven’t seen him for two days, but yeah thanks for pointing that out dickwas” you snap, leaning back in your chair. 

   Ned purses his lips and looks around, begging for Mj to show up with your drinks already. “He’s my friend too, my best friend. I’m scared, but you know Peter. He’ll be back” he says. You look at him and sigh “Yeah i’m sorry Ned” you say and reach across of the table, opening your hand. 

   Ned takes your hand into his and you smile “You guys having a seance without me or something?” you both turn your heads to see Mj standing in front of the table. She places the drinks down, one in front of you and one in front of Ned. “God, did we have to chose a table outside it’s hella freezing”

   you laugh at Mj’s comment “I needed the fresh air. My room smells like depression and doritos” you say, making Mj snicker this time. You lift up your drink and look at Ned who is frozen in fear. “Ned” you say, placing your cup down.

   Ned doesn’t say a word, only lifting his finger, pointing at something between you and Mj, who had taken a seat next to you. Both you and Mj turn around to see people- people turning into dust and floating away like a old dandelion you blew to make a wish on as a kid. 

   Mj’s eyes widen “We have to go!” she shouts and just as you were both ready to take off- “Guys” you both turn to look at Ned. He’s staring at his hand, watching as he came apart and floated away “Ned!” you shout and jump out the seat, going over to him. 

   Mj grabs his hand, but he goes right through it. You can see her eyes watering, you can’t remember ever seeing her cry before “Ned, it’s going to be okay” she says. “I- i feel weird” Ned spoke. You both lift him out the chair, but it’s too late. The last bit of him had flown away.

   “Oh god” Mj spoke, looking at her own hands, she was fading away as well. You grabbed her shoulders, both of you in tears at this point “Mj you can’t leave me, okay? That’s not how this friendship works. Your to stubborn for this bullshit” you spoke through sobs.

   Mj’s knees buckled under her and you fell with her. As soon as her lower legs touched the ground she was gone. You didn’t know what to do, your best friends and vanished in front of your eyes. Like you were on autopilot, you grab your phone from your pocket and click the phone icon.

   ‘P.B Parker’ you click the call button and it goes straight to voicemail 

   “Please leave a message after the tone”

   ‘beep’

   “Peter. Ned and Mj vanished into thin air and i don’t know what to do. Your usually the logical one and- fuck Peter why did you leave. I’m so scared and all i can think about is how you told me you loved me on the bus, you really know how to make an exit”

   as you spoke you saw your hand beginning to fade as well “shit- I love you too Peter Parker” your boyfriend would never hear that message.

    ☼-☪-☼

   titan (sorry in advance)

   Peter Parker clung onto Tony “I don’t wanna go” he kept repeating like he could convince the stones to let him stay. 

   “I don’t wanna go Mr. Stark”

   “Please”

   Peter fell, taking Tony with him “Y/n- find her and make sure she’s alright please. I should have stayed with her- i-” Peter was choking on his words “I’ll find her kid” Tony assures him and Peter cracks a small smile, before looking Tony in the eyes.

   “I’m Sorry”

   and the universe lost Spider-man

    ☼-☪-☼

   23 days later

   “It’s been 23 days since Thanos came to earth” Rhodey spoke as pictures of the avengers and other people related and were blipped flashed on the screen. “world governments are in pieces and parts that are still working are trying to take a census and it looks like he did-”

   Natasha stopped speaking for a moment “he did exactly what he said he was going to do. Thanos wiped out fifty percent of all living creatures” as Nat spoke Tony saw Peter’s face and quickly looked away “Where is he now, where?” he asked.

   “We don’t know, he just opened a portal and walked through” Steve replied, leaning against a table. Tony sighs, a bitter smile on his face before his head turns to see Thor sitting away from the rest and points at him “What’s wrong with him?”

   “uh he’s pissed. He thinks he failed, which of course he did, but you know there's a lot of that going around ain’t there” Rocket chimes in, sitting on the floor. “Honestly, until this exact second i thought you were a build-a-bear” Tony says, point at Rocket.

   “Maybe i am”

   “We’ve been hunting Thanos for three weeks now. Deep space scans and satellites and we got nothing.” Steve admits to the room before looking at Tony “Tony you fought him” he adds. “Who told you that?” Tony asked, holding onto his robe. 

   “Your a fighter”

   “No he wiped my face with a planet while the bleaker street magician gave  away the store. That's what happened. There was no fight.” Tony corrected. “Okay” Steve nods, noting Tony’s agitated behaviour. “Did he give you any clues, any coordinates, anything?”

   Tony shakes his head “Pfft! I saw this coming a few years back. I had a vision. I didn't wanna believe it. Thought I was dreaming.” he says. He was starting to act like a child. Steve sighs “ Tony, I'm gonna need you to focus.” he says, trying to calm him down. 

   but Tony’s anger was already bubbling up and ready to boil over “and I needed you. As in past tense. That trumps what you need. It's too late buddy. Sorry. You know what I need?” he asked, standing up from the table. He reaches into robe and pulls out a camera and a cellphone. “I need you too watch this and listen”

   “What is this?” Steve asked, looking at the tables contents. “Oh you know just some things i asked Happy to grab from Peter’s apartment. Let’s have a look shall we?” Tony said. Everyone in the room looked tense at the mention of his name. 

   “Friday play the video on the screen” Tony instructs as he steps back. Everyone turns towards the screen and the first thing they see is Peter, laying on his bed with a smile. He turns the camera and shows you peacefully sleeping on his chest, wearing his shirt. 

   “Peter if your recording me, i’m going to break that camera” okay maybe you weren’t sleeping. The camera is placed on his chest “You uh- looked cute” he spoke and you shook your head, leaning up to kiss him, it only lasting a couple seconds. “Friday pause” Tony says. 

   “Why are you showing us this?” Steve asked, but his questioned went unanswered. “That right there is Y/n L/n. B to C student at Midtown high, only child and all that. She was also the kid’s girlfriend for three years. He told me to find her and i did”

   “Friday play the security footage outside of Steamin’ mugs cafe” Tony says, Friday replying with a ‘yes boss’ before the footage of you crying on the phone before you vanished into nothing. Natasha looked away, having see that too much for her own good. 

   “I’m kinda happy for her. At least i didn’t have to tell her i watched him turn to dust in my arms, but you know i got here the last thing she said to him. It’s a real tear jerker. Wanna listen?” Tony says, going over to grab Peter’s phone off the table. 

   “You made your point Tony” Rhodey says. Tony turns to Steve once again “ I said, ‘we'd lose’. You said, ‘We'll do that together too’ and guess what, Cap? We lost and you weren't there. This is what we lost. This is who we lost. You didn’t know her, but it matters. It matters is because they’ll never see each other again  ”

    ☼-☪-☼

   five years later

   (Kody’s endgame so no death lmao)

   everyone was in front of the destroyed base. Thanos was gone and everyone was still around to see it happen (i wish). Doctor Strange has just finished returning everyone to where they belong. “I must say i did not think we would win” he admits.

   “Thanks for the optimism buddy” Rocket says, looking up at him. Peter stood up from the rumble he sat on “I need to see someone, can you bring her like- here?” Peter asked Strange, who already knew who he was talking about because- it’s Doctor Strange what do you expect?

   he nods and backs away to do his thing.

    ☼-☪-☼

   you took a large gasp of air as you saw light. What happened? Didn't you just vanish? It was only a second ago. You look around and see people staring at you strangely. “Aw damn my head hurts” you heard Mj groan. You instantly tackle her to the floor “and now it hurts more”

   “Yeah cry about it i just saw you vanish”

   “I’m here too, ya know?” both of you turn to see Ned and the hug became a group tackle as you both smiled and embraced each other. That was until you were pulled into a orange portal out of nowhere. You end up facing a bunch of rubble and debris.

   “What the fuck?! I’m so tired of the super magic bullshit!” you shout. 

   you turn your head and see a couple of avengers like Captain America, Thor, Hulk, and thor stare at you. You already met Tony. “Hi Mr. Stark’ you say, raising your hand for a awkward wave. Tony smiles and gestures his hand to Peter who was standing, in a new suit might you add and a nervous smile. 

   you didn’t care much for embarrassment after that and ran towards him, practically leaping into his arms “I’m back” he says, digging his head into your shoulder “Yeah no shit, you went to space you dumbass. I think i called you a hundred times or until my phone died”

   Peter let out a breathy laugh as his arms tightened round you “I’m sorry,no more space okay? Just you and me on earth. ” he suggests and you nod “Yeah i like that. About what you said on the bus by the way” you let go a bit to look up at him. 

   his nervous, shy stature set in quickly “What uh- what about it?” he asked, hoping for a good answer. “i love you too dork” you smile and he sighs “Oh thank god. I was about to dust away again’ he says and you whack him in the arm “What?” he asked, slightly hurt. 

   “Too soon Peter” you explain and he nods “Right” he says and a silence falls on both of you. Was he going to do anything “Oh my god- Kiss her!” Tony yells from behind you both. Peter’s face flushes in slight embarrassment before he shrugs, grabbing your face. 

   you both share a sweet kiss, long overdue by the amount of time spent apart. Even if it was just two days and five years to everyone else. Both you and Peter end up spending weeks together, alone just cause you could. You made Peter promise no more space trips and he begrudgingly agrees. 

  a girl with two much attitude and a boy who was too shy somehow managed up the nerve to talked to said girl. They were polar opposites and some would say completely different people, but they managed to fall in love and make it through anything. 

    who wouldn’t want love like that

    ☼-☪-☼

   Click here to join my Taglist!

   @sonbelleame @hel-viti @loudbluepancake @vmame 

    ☼-☪-☼

    Kody- i haven't slept yet and i pulled this plot out of my ass. It’s 8am and i’m going to go pass out. Anyways, peace. 

[old-hyper-super-clover]

Squeeze that bunny tail!

Part 4

Description: The RAD student council as well as the exchange students help out at a bar where, oops, the staff´s dress codes are those sweet bunny outfits that we all know and thirst for. The MCs, Violet and Clover, play a game of who can touch the most bunny tails over the evening without getting caught. Prepare for fluff, funny innuendos as well as my thirst over hot boys in bunny outfits.

The story is divided in several parts and will be updated every few days. find the other parts in my masterlist.

Story continues below the cut. Have fun!

Finally having stomached the midnight clothing change, the girls had to get back to work, so they kept their strategic meeting short.

However, when they finally stepped outside into the public again...

The demon lord was waiting for them.

Arms crossed, expression serious.

He was staring at them.

"Lord Diavolo...!" Violet pressed out while Clover gave a quiet but terrified "oh no he will actually kill me" as both backed away on instinct.

"May I have a word with you two?" the demon prince asked, however it felt more like a demand. They have never heard him speak in such a serious tone before.

The girls not able to give an answer other than a nod, Diavolo gestured at the staff's office room.

He let them step inside before closing the door... And locking it.

None of them have ever felt like shitting their pants more than in this moment.

"Violet, Clover" He raised his voice.

Clover had called her own death, and had accidentally pulled Violet with her.

"There is an urgent matter that I have to discuss with you two..."

That was it. The end.

Diavolo kept them trembling in a horrible silence for way too long.

"Y-yes...?" Violet somehow managed to say.

He took a heavy breath. The girls swallowed their fear.

Then, he spoke up.

"... Why do you keep squishing everyone's bunny tails? Is it some kind of human tradition? I'm dying to know!"

The girls literally felt like they just died.

"I've observed you for quite a while now, but I can't make out the reason behind it" Diavolo continued. "Please, fill me in...!"

----------------------

It took a while to recover, but in the end, the girls confessed about their game.

"We just look how many of those tails we can squeeze" Clover said.

"It's nothing more than a joke..." Violet mumbled. "I'm sorry to have upset you..."

Diavolo blinked at them.

"Upset?"

"Uhm... Yes..." Violet frowned in regret. "We will stop being childish while working. Again, sorry for-"

"Can I join your game?"

Silence.

"Y... You want to... Squeeze the guys' tails with us?" Clover asked.

And Diavolo's natural smile said it all. So, it seemed like another opponent joined the game at half time...

---------------------------

The three parted quickly after as they were needed in the local, but Clover had an idea on how to keep things organized:

* Clover formed the group chat [Squeeze that bunny tail!] *

Diavolo: Hello!

Violet: ... Are you sure we shouldn't call the group something else...?

Diavolo: I quite like it.

Clover: Thank you, Sir :D

Diavolo: This is the first group chatroom I am in without Barbatos.

Violet: Should we add him?

Diavolo: No. Don't tell him. I am experiencing a new kind of freedom right now. Anyway, I wish you girls the best of luck in our competition!

---------------------

As this story is ridiculously long, let’s do a quick squeeze round!

Violet got very lucky... She caught Luke while the angel had been trying to reach for something in the kitchen shelves. He was still in his first outfit (because even demons do not support children nudity, that's gross), and looked adorable, standing on that stool to be tall enough.

After squeezing his tail, Violet offered her help.

... Only to realise she wasn't tall enough either.

But oh well, luckily, Solomon appeared and was there to grab those tiny cocktail parasols.

Later, Violet also worked with Asmo at the casino area for a while and got herself another point.

As for Clover... She tried.

Tried to squeeze Mammon´s tail a second time, but the greedy boy was also a very bouncy boy.

She also worked with Barbatos for quite a while, but as much as she wanted to go get those juicy two points, she just couldn't.

Something about this pretty man was scaring her... She found out later what it was.

Violet and Clover were serving drinks.

And for two girls without any real waitress-practise whatsoever, they did quite well.

But at one table, it had to happen.

The first broken glass of the evening. Clover had been holding the tray a little too sloppy.

As an ugly scream bubbled up her throat, she already felt the full glass of demonous fall, but was unable to do anything. The shattering of glass echoed through the bar, but what was worse was the growl that the customer pressed out.

Looking down on himself, Clover had perfectly spilled his drink onto the demon.

"You little..." he grunted, standing up and ready to break her neck this instant.

Clover backed away, of course, and felt how Violet had been there immediately to back her up.

"W-we apologize for this accident" Violet pressed out.

The demon seemed to get even more agitated, now raising his hand to hit her.

"Shut up you fucking-"

Then, another silhouette stepped in front of the girls.

Barbatos was gently holding the demon's hand back.

"In the name of the owner, I'd like to offer my deepest apologies as well. In cases like these, the local would like to immediately return the money you have spent this evening, and offers compensation in form of three free drinks of your choice."

Barbatos did a little bow after having finished.

"Screw the money..." The demon hissed. "I wanna tear those humans into miserable pieces. That´ll do as an apology."

Barbatos did not look up.

"... In that case..." the butler continued. "Guests who actively threaten the well-being of our dear staff will be treated according to their own attitude."

He straightened his back, beaming the demon a formal smile. "I will show you the exit. Please, do not think of coming back anytime soon."

Despite being so cocky before, now the customer flinched heavily. Finally, he seemed to follow the butler's orders. He spat on the table in some disrespectful dick move, then left the local.

---------------

Violet and Barbatos helped Clover clean the mess afterwards.

"Thanks for dealing with that guy..." Clover mumbled.

"Oh, there is no need" Barbatos hummed. "If not for me, one of the demon brothers would have come to your aid. And I fear a person like Mammon would not have left the situation without a fight, so I figured it would be best to jump in myself."

The girls gave a small giggle.

"That's true..." Violet mumbled. "But that only makes you even more impressive. It's rare to see a demon so calm."

“Calm?” Barbatos looked up from the broken glass he had been collecting. He seemed genuinely confused for a moment, then his usual smile was back.

"How cute" he chuckled.

"C-cute?!" Violet blinked in surprise.

But Barbatos was already making his leave.

"Ah, don't mind it..." he mused. "The naiveté is what makes you humans so charming."

----------------------------

Clover felt safer sticking to cleaning instead of potentially making another mess, so she was wiping the tables when she heard Diavolo calling out to her.

"Are you busy right now?" he asked.

"Not really, I'm still on cleaning duty but there isn't really much to do right now... Can I help you with anything?"

Taking a careful look around, Diavolo stepped closer, lowering his voice as well. "I am in trouble."

"Uhm..." Clover swallowed her stress. "And why?"

"I lost the master key. The one the owner gave me."

"... The one you need to lock the whole place with? The one that basically gives you control over the whole bar?"

"I see you smell the trouble now."

Clover gave a nod. "I do... Should I help you search?"

Diavolo's expression changed into a smile.

"That's what I wanted to hear! Thank you."

"No problem. Do you have any idea where it might be?"

So Diavolo gave it a thought, concluding that he must have lost it during his break.

"I looked through the bathroom already” he explained. “Which leaves only the kitchen and the staff's room."

Suddenly, a third voice joined the conversation.

"I did not notice anything like a key in the kitchen" Satan said, coming to a stop next to them.

"Oh, Satan, so you have overheard our conversation..." Diavolo crossed his arms.

"Don't worry, I won't spill anything to Lucifer" the blond laughed. "He'd only scold you, wouldn't he?" Then, his gaze fell on Clover. "I can help you search."

----------------

Clover and Satan looked through the whole staff's office.

Luckily no one was there to ask what they were doing, especially since they just couldn't find anything. Satan gave a sigh.

"Nothing... I even looked through Mammon's jacket in case his kleptomania had struck again..."

Meanwhile, Clover was rummaging through one of the desks. Giving a resigned breath as well, she was about to give up when she spotted something shimmering behind the wooden desk.

"I think I found it...!" Clover called out.

Satan came up to her, seeing as well how there was a key stuck in the web of cables behind the office desk.

"Wait, I'll get it."

He tried reaching it from above, but some computer monitors kept getting in the way.

In the end, Satan was crouched down, head under the table as he fiddled with the cables.

"I still can't reach it..." he pressed out under his breath.

Clover grumbled in displease, kneeling down as well. There wasn't enough room for her to help in any way, so all she could do was watch Satan do his thing...

Oh no.

She had THE perfect chance to squish Satan's tail. Due to his position, his booty was right in front of her, and he seemed more than busy to even bother her presence.

Three points, she thought...

Just a little tap, she thought...

Holding her breath, she stretched out a finger and reached for the pompom...

Merely a second later Clover found herself landing on her back, her wrists being pressed against the floor next to her head.

"I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY."

Satan's body hovered above hers as he held her in a tight grip.

Clover was panicking.

"I'm so sorry - I shouldn't have done that - I'm sorry Satan Sir please don't kill me - I'm an idiot - I'm sorry I'm sorry - I love you sir I'm really sorry I'm-"

"Explain yourself" he interrupted her pleading.

"Hnnngh...” Clover fought actual tears but finally calmed down. "I... Uhm... Violet and I might be playing... A game..."

"Go on" Satan demanded in a sharp voice.

So Clover took a deep breather, speaking terribly fast in her fear.

"It's a competition. We wanted to see who can touch the most bunny tails over the evening, without the people noticing. Look, it's weird, I'm sorry, Violet has some kind of pompom kink and suggested it and I can't say no to people so I joined, also because it's funny, oh also please don't tell Violet I said anything about a kink, she will kill me."

His glistening greenish eyes kept mustering her flushed red face.

"I'm not satisfied yet."

The girl gave another whine.

"Pleeaase... Dearest Satan, Sir..."

"Keep going..."

"Ah...uhm… Oh lord, my man, oh how I plead for thy mercy, oh mighty Satan...! Thy tail was so tempting, I couldn't resist reaching for it...... And also I suck at this game and need points so desperately...! It was just too perfect of a chance, please forgive m..."

She stopped.

He was smirking at her, his grin almost dripping with this sly and cocky attitude.

Clover only now felt how there was something else in-between his left hand and her wrist.

The key.

And she remembered what Violet had texted her earlier today.

"... Did you trick me? The key wasn't actually hard to grab, was it?" she asked. “You knew I would try to touch your tail.”

His smirk widened.

"Why the fascination with bunny tails?" Satan nonchalantly ignored her questions.

"... They're fluffy..." Clover mumbled bashfully. "Just... fun to play with, y'know...?"

The blond tilted his head. "Never played with one."

"... Try it, it's nice."

"Yes, I would like to" he said, enjoying the flustered mess underneath him as she tried to figure out what he was implying. "Right now" he added.

So Clover tried to stand up... But Satan wasn't letting her.

"Uhm... I-I would let you touch mine, b-but... Could I stand up first...?"

"No."

Silence.

Probably the only thing audible was Clover's boiling head as she slowly raised her hips off the ground, constantly being focused by those sly eyes of his.

One of his hands let go of her arm, reaching down while his whole body lowered slightly as well.

Instead of reaching for her back, however, he first placed his hand on her thigh. Through her fishnet stockings, she felt his touch wandering up her leg, only then he'd brush over her side to her back, finally finding the bunny tail in his grip.

"Interesting" he mused, poking and squishing the pompom as he pleased, visibly amused at her embarrassment. "Yes, very-"

They heard the office's door falling shut.

Both, Satan and Clover, stopped in their motion, even in their breathing, as footsteps came closer.

"My jacket... Where did I leave my jacket..."

They were staring at each other first, then at the person casting a shadow on them.

And... well...

Luke stared back.

Stared at the demon bending over the human, the human arching closer to the demon, touching each other in those... those clothes...!

The angel could only press out some dying squeaking noises as his face exploded in an outraged blush. He took a step back, raising an arm as if shielding himself from the evil.

"S... S-s..."

Clover was the first to move again.

"Luke, this is not what-"

"SIMEEOOOOOONN....!"

Aaand Luke ran out of the room in a great whine. Slowly getting over the shock, Clover let out a sigh.

"... He's going to arrange some exorcism for me now, ain't he..." she mumbled.

The demon only gave a chuckle. "Serves you right" he hummed.

"Wha-?! You're the one who start..." her voice gave in immediately after meeting again with this almost sadistic stare.

"S-s-stop... Satan... Since wh-when are y..." Clover stuttered as the demon continued to play with her tail.

He leaned in closer.

"You should know that trying to play pranks on me will always backfire thrice as much..." he purred into her ear.

Then, Satan let go, pulling back and rising onto his feet.

"Well, I think that is enough of a punishment for now. I'll go and bring Lord Diavolo his key."

Clover sat up as well, but her legs were way too wobbly to do any more than that.

She glanced up at him, seeing him wave a goodbye.

"See you around" he hummed, adding a little wink before heading out of the room.

-----------------------

About another hour had passed when Clover and Violet decided to check up in Diavolo again...

Clover: Lord Diavolo, how is the game going?

Diavolo: Good! I have 62 points so far.

Clover: WHAT

Violet: U-uhm... May I ask how you got to have so many...?

Diavolo: I asked Barbatos to let me touch his tail.

Clover: ... For all of the points?

Diavolo: Yes :)

Violet: ...

Diavolo: What is wrong? Is that not a good score?

Clover:

It is... But... We actually had made some rules that we didn't get to explain...

Diavolo: Oh! Which would be? :)

Violet: Uhm... For example, you are not allowed to squeeze the same tail twice in a row, and the target is not supposed to notice you...

Clover: Meaning... If you simply touched Barbatos' tail 31 times in a row with him knowing... You would have... No points yet...

Violet: ...

Clover: ...

Diavolo: :(

----------

Ironic enough, Diavolo had been taking a break in the staff room while texting.

Minutes later, Barbatos came in to bring him something to drink.

"Barbatos! You are not allowed to notice me anymore when I touch your tail. Apparently I did it wrong the whole time!"

"Of course, my lord" the butler answered, the slightest smirk glistening in his eyes.

Diavolo noticed immediately, pointing out how Barbatos looked way more relaxed than usual.

"Oh, do I?" Barbatos tilted his head. "Well, it certainly is a weight off my shoulders to have a crew to rely on. For most parts, at least."

He was heading for the exit already.

"And I am glad to see you are enjoying yourself, my lord" he smiled. "I will have to thank those girls for that..."

----------------------

Violet was working at the bar.

Lucifer had promised her to teach her some cocktail mixing, and there they were.

Turns out she was learning quickly, and the demon soon entrusted her with serving drinks to actual customers. Keeping an eye on her, Lucifer watched as Violet worked, also receiving help from Asmo.

... Which was impressive, by the way, because anyone could sense that Asmo had been sneaking some drinks here and there, and was getting a little... Tipsy.

It showed at one point, though. A customer came up, asking for a drink rather difficult to mix.

"I can do this!" Violet assured her friends and started mixing the juice.

But just as Violet was bending down to put some ice cubes into the drink...

They heard -- and Violet felt -- a slap that was audible even despite the quite loud music playing.

And everyone around them went quiet.

Blinking, Violet straightened her back again, turning to find Asmo behind her.

"Did. You just."

"Slap your ass? Fuck yes I did!"

"Asmo!!"

"Come on, you CAN'T expect me to NOT go for that booty when you're stretching it RIGHT into my FACE."

Lucifer next to them barged in. "But you can't just do th-"

"It was on INSTINCT" Asmo said.

"What do you mean, instinct?!" Violet asked, her face still in a slight blush.

"Oh my godddd, I'm the avatar of LUST, if I see a cute butt I just can't help it!"

"Asmo, that's not okay", Lucifer scolded. "You need to learn to control your sin."

"WHY?! Y'all have your quirks too, why am I not allowed to be myself?! That's so unfair, I always get shouted at! Like, Beel's also snacking our whole storeroom empty but THAT'S fine, huh?!"

Lucifer´s eyes widened. "He's doing WHAT?!"

"And Mammon is stealing money out of the guest's pockets, but NO, let's sue ASMO for giving a booty the appreciation it DESERVES!"

Lucifer looked like he was about to have a stroke. A growl crawled up his throat.

"MAMMOOOOOONNN...!!!"

And he was gone.

Asmo turned to pout somewhere, and Violet was left at the counter, still a little overwhelmed.

The customer slowly raised their hand.

"... Could I... Get my drink now...?"

[blues-fandom-bullshit]

'Normal' Meetings

Mono (Classic/Tale)- Will most likely happen when he's checking in on you during the night, or curious as to who he now has to protect in a state different then saving your ass from an animalistic werewolf.

You turned to look out the window, surprised for two reasons.

The first being it was already dark out. Had time really passed that much since you had put all your furniture in and had finally finsihed fully furnishing everything in your new house?

The second being the male peering through with wide, shocked sockets staring back at you, upside down, hanging off the side if the porch.

Then.. He fell..

After the momentary shock of what happened, you rushed outside to see if he was okay, and why he was peering into your house.

Mono now sat in the porch, rubbing his skull from the impact, before he jumped up.

"Are you okay? Are you alri-"

"Don't freak out human! I'm-"

You both cut each other off.

"Y-you go fi-" "No- you-" You both stammered to each other.

You gestured to him after a moment, to which he sighed.

"Human, I am a gargoyle. My name is Mono and I guard this house, its land, and now you." 'Mono' stated in a deep, raspy tone, before kneeling. Depsite his calm exterior, he was freaking out internally.

Humans weren't supposed to know he was alive, especially not on the first night.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, New Master." Mono said, his sudden sweet and polite tone sounding forced and too much effort put in.

The sudden title had you taken aback.

"You don't need to address me! I'm Name. Please, call me such." You responded, trying to ease the tense air as the slight shift in the gargoyle before you.

He raised his head, his sockets narrowed some as if he was studying your features for deciet. He was so uses to human supremacy. This was new..

"Please, just.. Is your head okay?" You asked, offering a smile. "And, thanks for saving me the other night.."

Maybe.. Maybe Mono could trust this human.

Talie (Puff/Tale)- Will more than likely be during a visit to the lake to unclog the water system behind the house and in the woods.

As you walked calmly through the trees, you couldn't help but feel eyes on you. It was.. Probably an animal! Yeah..

Upon reaching the lake, you sighed some, admiring the clear water with the small fish swimming around. Now just to figure how you could get to the water pump without much hassle.

Soon, you were waist deep in the water, wading towards the pipe cover in the muddy grounding when you suddenly noticed the water getting darker from more than just dirt.. Or rather a shadow looming over you in the now dark water.

A yell left your mouth as something wrapped around your waist and yanked you back.

"Human! Human! It's Okay!" A voice called, a pair of hands being placed in your shoulders as you were turned around to take in the sight of whoever now held you.

Your eyes widened as the large creature processed in your mind.

A large skeleton with a soft, sweet face with sharp canines.

Glancing down, you found orange tentacles wrapped around your waist.

Your mouth fell open as the skeleton was quick to start talking about before you screamed.

"Human! It's Okay! I Am Just Trying To Help!" He said quickly, swiftly pulling anither tentacle out of the water to reveal a snapping turtle in his grasp.

"You Were Only A Few Feet From Them And I Didn't Want You Losing A Toe!" He stated quickly, watching your expression go from shocked horror to scared realization.

He quickly put the turtle back into the water for them to swim baxk down stream.

Then, the skeleton released you.

"Human! I Can Finally See You! I'm Talie! The Great Talie!" He introduced, sticking out a hand eagerly for you to shake, as if kraken skeletons were an everyday occurrence to be caught by.

"N-Name.." You said back after a moment, regaining yourself as you shook his hand nervously.

"Well, Name, Do You Need Help?" Talie asked with a bright grin.

Envei (Berry/Swap)- After meeting two skeletons in such a close time, you decides to cool off in another pond, stripping from your outer clothing to a swimming suit.

As you got into the water, you relaxes around, wading and walking through the water for a while as you sughed happily.. Only for something to brush your legs as you jumped back.

A.. Another skeleton slowly emerged from the water, peeking his nasal up from the water as he stared at you with bright blue eyes.

You could see, on the sides of his head, were fins. Oh no.. Another one.. A.. Merman?

Before you could say anything, you found the skeleton sunk down into the pond, before suddenly appearing in front of you with an incredulous expression.

Before you could even breathe, the monster had let out a loud laugh as he placed his webbed hand onto your shoulders and waist, suddenly lifting you with and spinning you around like childhood friends.

You let out a yell which caught his attention, him setting you down with a bright smile.

"S-Sorry Human! I Can't Control Myself! You're The First I've Seen Of Your Species In A While And Now I Can Talk To You In Person! Gosh, You're Much More Attractive Up Close." He stated, getting closer to you, smirking to reveal his sharp teeth.

"Oh! My Manners!" He suddenly whispered to himself, backing up as his smirk turned to a grin.

"I'm Envei!" He introduced, quirking a brow encouragingly to your hesitance.

"...Are.. Are you a mermaid?" You couldn't help yourself. He was.. Intriguing?

"No. If I Was, I'd Be A Merman. I'm A Siren." He corrected, his tail swishing under the water eagerly. At your more concerned face, he quickly switched to reassurance. "But Don't Worry, I Don't Like Human! I Prefer Animals And Plants!" His voice was upbeat, but a but nervous as he fiddled some with his scarf.

"Name." You finally said after a moment, watching as he perked up some curiously. "That's my name, Envei."

This was the start of a long matches of water games and scares.

Taif (Stretch/Swap)- Will mostly occur when you're needing to go into the woods, wanting to gather some berries or something for a snack. However, that note was stuck in your head.

"A....Al?" You called, watching for a long moment, feeling stupid as you peered into the trees ahead as if something would happen.

Sighing some, you let the thought slip from your mind and prepared to take a step.

"Human! No!" A voice called, reaching for you and pulling you back before you could go into the vegetation.

Turning around, you saw another skeleton. This.. Wasn't as much as a shock since you'd figured out probably all of who you met that first night a week ago were skeletons.

"Never go that way! That's to Domni and Vipers caves." The skeleton stated, sockets wide and voice a bit frantic. Then, he processed your shocked expression as he realized he was still holding your shoulders tightly and quickly recoiled back.

"S-sorry.." He apologized, cradling his hands to his chest as he looked away, as if in shame.

After a moment, you regained yourself enough to talk. "Are you.. Al?" You ask softly, the skeleton glancing at you as he lifted his head some, and nodded. Offering him a small smile, you extended your hand.

"Name. It's a pleasure to meet you, Al."

'Al' was hesitant, before shaking your hand as he visibly relaxed.

"So, what're we looking for?" He asked, turning towards a different part of the forest.

Something felt off about him.. Like he wasn't telling the truth, but he held no malicious aura to him..

Domni (Red/Fell)- Oh boy.. There is no subtlety. He openly goes to your house to just straight up talk to you like you've been friends for a lifetime.

You were just chilling at you place, when you heard knocking on the door. That's.. Odd.. No one lives around here, and you hadn't ordered anything..

Maybe it was Mono, or Al? But, why would either of them need you?

Approaching the door, you hesitated a moment, before grabbing a hold of the doorknob. As soon as you started twisting, the door was pushed open and someone pushed into your house.

"Ah, so yer da human that pissed off my brother? Hah! Good one! Haven't seen 'im so mad since Undyne tried to take the guard position again!"

Okay, who was this jackass?

He pushed his way into your house to just start talking as if he hadn't just shoved his giant ass into someone else's house.

As you were about to say something, you froze at seeing his large wings and tail.

How the hell did you get into this situation? You asked yourself, the reality of the situation hitting you. Monsters aren't supposed to be real.. They're supposed to be myths.. Stories.. Tales..

Now you're surrounded by, as far as you could tell, about ten? All of which hadn't seemed to want to you around.. Except Talie and Envei, but even they seemed dangerous at some points.

Maybe it'd be better if you started packing now.. You honestly just wanted to get away from the city and stress, but got thrown into a fantasy world of hiding monster men.

"..an...-Hum... Human!" A voice boomed, you suddenly breaking from your thoughts to see the dragon character in your face, eyes narrowed and mouth pursed. "You alive in that head of yours?"

You blinked a bit, before jumping back as he snorted some from your momentary surprise.

"Yer a weird one." He commented, before chugging a.. Bottle of mustard?

"Hypocrite.." You muttered, to which he stopped drinking the condiment and eyed you as if in offense.

"What ya say?" He asked, words a bit incoherent some from yellow substance in his mouth.

"H-...Hypocrite." You repeated, getting a spurt of courage. "Hypocrite."

He scoffed in mock offense. "An' tell me how?"

Ugh, his voice was so annoying! Even if it was deep, with a rough edge and a brooklyn accent.. No! He was a major dick! "Firstly, you come into my house without permission, then take my stuff, and proceed to insult me. All within five minutes."

This actually seemed to get to him, him opening his mouth slightly as his sockets opened some as he seemed to visibly process his words.

His lips then curled up into a grin as he started laughing as if you'd said the worlds funniest joke. "I like ya human! Names Domni." He stated, grinning wider to shoe off his sharp teeth and golden tooth.

You crossed your arms at him, unimpressed with him as he looked around a bit. "What?" He asked, completely oblivious to your annoyance.

After a moment, you sighed and shook your head. "Name.."

Viper (Edge/Fell)- He.. He was forced to apologize to you genuinely by Domni after his brother had hung around you for while two weeks.

"I DON'T WANT TO! GET YOUR FLITHY HANDS OFF OF ME! SANS YOU ABSOLITE LIZARD!" A loud voice screeched out front from your house.

You were currently behind your house, talking with Talie and Envei at the lake at the back of your house. The boys sighed, parting goodbye with you as you left the water, them seeming to recognize the voice.

You'd been swimming to relax in the hot weather. The perk about living far off in the woods in near solitude? You could walk around in just a swimsuit without a Karen yelling at you or having the fear anyone would be watching.

As you rounded the house, wrapping a towel around your shoulders, you caught sight of Domni flying off. Quirking a brow some, your gaze landed on the half skeleton throwing a hissy fit as he waved his arms up and down angrily.

"YOU GODDAMNED, ABSOLUTE SWINE! I'LL KI..LL...YOu.. sans.." His, rather loud, voice fell to a whisper as his own gaze landed on your form.

His face flushed a nice shade of crimson as his pinprick trailed down your body, watching water slide down your skin.

During this, you took in the sight of his large snake lower half. Ruby red with black scales speckled here and there. Was that.. A pink underbelly?

Unlike him, you hand the decency not to state for too long. After a moment, you rose your hand to cough awkwardly into it as he finally shook himself from his trance.

"HUMAN! I AM THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE VIPER! MY BROTHER HAS BROUGHT ME HERE TO APOLOGIZE FOR TRYING TO ATTACK YOU. HOWEVER, I REFUSE AND HE CANNOT MAKE ME!" He declared, crossing his arms and looking away as his blush started to die down.

Watching him a moment, you outstretched your hand. "Name." You said simply, which made him gaknced at you and then do a double take.

"EXCUSE ME?" He asked, trying, and failing, to mask his tone of confusion.

"Name," You restated. "That's my name, Viper." You shook your hand some, as if to bring his attention back to it as he slowly pulled his own from his pouting and shook yours.

With that, you moved passed him and towards your door.

"HUMAN! WAIT!" He called as you opened the door. "TOMORROW. MIDDAY. JOIN ME FOR SOME TEA." He.. Offered? Ordered? Either way, he was too intimidating to say no.

Centri (Black/SwapFell R)- You ended up meeting him after your tea meeting with Viper, actually.

Walking back from Vipers cave den at the base of the cliffside when something straight up duve bombed you to the ground.

"GOD DAMMIT! IT'S YOU AGAIN! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED?!" A loud voice yelled at you, making you wince some from the vokume as the weight got off you.

Sitting forward, you were greeted by Feathers, the guy who pushed that very weird skeleton off of you that first night.

"WELL?" He squawked, eyeing you like an upset parent, including crossing his arms as his wings folded behind him.

"I-I.. U-uh-um.." You stammered, looking down. He sighed, pulling you to your feet.

"ARE YOU CURIOUS, COURAGOUS, OR JUST PLAIN STUPUD?" He asked, before continuing without waiting. "NO HUMAN IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD CONSCIOUSLY AND WILLINGLY STAY IN THIS FOREST! I WOULD HAVE EXPECTED HUMANS TO HAVE SOME SENSE, BUT AP-" "Thank you." "-LY YOU- .....WHAT?"

"Thank you." You repeated.

He stared at you a moment, slow to processing this.

"For saving me that night," You elaborated. "I might of died if it weren't for you."

This made a deep blush rise to the surface of his face as his sockets widened and he stammered. Did his wings just puff up?

After he regained himself seeing you laugh a bit, smiling some, he crosses his arms and looked to the side with his sockets closed. "O-OF COURSE! I COULDN'T LET AN I-IDIOT HUMAN LIKE YOURSELF DIE! YOU'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG SO FAR."

Was that a compliment? An insult? Was everyone here confusing?

Monsters were supposed to be evil and bloodthirsty.. Well, Viper did try to kill you..

"IT WAS YOUR FAULT." His voice echoed in your head.

He then dropped his stubbornness in his stroked ego and stuck out a hand. "CENTRI. THE GREAT HARPY CENTRI."

Harpy? Weren't harpies all female? And were their wings attatched to their arms? Why were you questioning? Everything was weird and confusing here.

"Name." You responded.

Centri scoffed. "What?" You asked.

"NO TITLE? *SIGH* YOU HUMANS AREN'T ANY FUN. THE MARVELOUS NAME? THE AMUSING NAME? NOTHING?"

You gave him an odd look. "Those make me sound like a kids show magician." You commented, which made him laugh some.

"THE AMUSING NAME IT IS."

"W-what?"

Relib (Mutt/SwapFell R)- Most likely the only -partially normal- one of the group when it comes to meeting him.

You really needed a chill day..

Talie and Envei were constantly trying to get you to explore the far ends of the forest with them. Taif and Mono.. Were pretty chill. But those reptile brothers were constantly on your ass about doing something, agreeing with one and not the other, deciding who's right and who's wrong, who woukd hang at with you at one day and the other.

They were exhausting, and it was hard for you to say no to them, especially being new neighbors.

So, when you heard a knock on the door, you groaned some, sinking into your chair before the sound of the knock and outside processed. Quiet. Both of them. The knock was shaky, quiet, and the sound from your porch was.. Silent.

Standing, you approached the door and slowly opened it, revealing a.. Tall skeleton monster.

Gee, really narrows that down. But, this one had.. Two tails? And.. Ears? Was that a gypsy outfit?

The monster, upon realizing the door wss open, squeaked some as he straightened his posture. His fave was also flushed a rusty color..

"Hello?" You said after a moment, which made him jolt some before thrusting a thermos your way.

"H-here! Coffee!"

Taking the thermos, since there was seemingly no other option. "Thanks..?" What a strange fellow..

After you two stood there a moment, he finally seemes to break his awkward and tense shell. "I'm Relib!" He stated, pushing his hand to you to shake, which you did.

"Name," You replied, watching as he visibly relaxed.

"S-sorry.. I-its just.. I haven't seen anyone new around here in.. A while.." He managed out through a quiet voice as he fiddled with his hands, looking down at them. Aw.. His ears even folded down..

"It's fine, Relib. Why not come in?" You offered, to which he seemed surprised, before shaking nodding and giving a small smile.

Inten (Crooks/Horror)- Probably the most energetic out of all of them. And the most sudden heart attack you've ever had from shock.

You had just been walking in the forest, exploring, when suddenly you were in the arms of someone with wind rushing passed you.

Disoriented, you ended up looking down.. Only to see forest hundreds of yards below..

Squeaking, you clung onto whiever had you tightly as you finally processed them laughing and cheering.

"I've Caught A Human! Yes! Human!" The male voice cheered down to you, making you look up from clinging to him as he processed your scared look and his excited expression left to concern then sympathy as he.. Dive bombed down towards the ground before opening his large, black wings and flying through the trees.

"Better Human?" He asked, to which you nodded some, body tense from the stranger that just picked you up and took you so far high you felt like death and swooped down and carried you away.

It was then he came to his senses. "Oh! My Apologies, Human! I Could Have Thought Ren Had Killed You The Other Night.. Oh Well, Must Have Been Someone Else." His words.. Did not appease your spinning mind.

"Oh! I'm Inten! The Great Inten!" He introduced, landing on the forest floor as he switched to holding you bridal style instead of by the waust to his body. "So, Human. What Shall We Call You?"

"N-Name.." You manage, still dizzy from the suddeness of what's happened.

"Name.. Hm.. I Like It! Now. Would You Like Some Cookies?"

Ren (Axe/Horror)- It's.. Unconventional..

You honestly just wanted a calm night.. A relaxing weekend.. But every night a large creature was peering through the windows, scratching at doors or even trying to scale walls.

It was terrifying to say the least. And Mono just told you to stay inside and ignore it. It wasn't anything that could break in.

It always seemed like he was lying.. He said before he was to protect the land and the grounds owner, but he seemed to just tell you moments too late or just half hearted advice of safety, like he couldn't care if you died or not.

Then again you were a grown person and that was just anorher unnecessary chore added to his.

Well, after a few night you decides to hang out in the oorch and just admire the stars above from the porch. You never saw them in the city, and it was mesmerizing. Maybe that's why you nearly screamed at the creeping figure slowly climbing over the side of your porches banister and closing in on you.

Instinctively, you bolted for the door, but that snapped the large, large creature from their trance and pouncing on you as a scream tore from your throat.

This was it.. You were a deadman.. A goner..

Well.. Not exactly.

As you bid the world farewell, you felt a face pressed into your neck, giving in because there was no way this amount of strength could be broken from.

Well.. Death wasn't exactly in the near future.

Yes, a face was buried in between your neck and shoulder and a massive weight was on you, but.. No teeth sunk in, or claws drew lines down your body.

Instead, you heard a deep inhale and the weight of whoever was on you lessened as they relaxed.

Your fave flushed as your mouth released a squeak as a tongue licmed at your skin and a fluffy mass swept over your legs, which made a deep.. Purr? Growl? Chuckle..? Escape the beings throat as boney hands grabbed your shoulders as whoever this was sat up and held your -in comparison- tiny figure to their chest.

Looking up, you saw it was the same skeleton that attacked you up on the cliff side the first night, skull opening and all.

At seeing you look up to his face, a small grin broke across his face and his large eyelight softened as he nuzzled his nasal into your head.

Only seconds later did you see Mono, Al, Viper, Domni, and Inten appearing in the clearing with varying looks of concern on their faces that quickly melted to shock at your state.

A small human wrapped in the bulky arms of one of- scratch that! The most dangerous and unstable monster in these forests that seemed to just melt from that normally snarling and absolutely feral werewolf.

When you reached towards your friend group as a silent plea for help, Al stepping forward with immediately made the skeleton holding you snap his hesd up as his single eae folded back and he bared his sharp teeth while tightening his already strong grip around you, threatening anyone that got closer.

Al got the message and tool two steps back, which made the wolf holding you turn away some.

"Brother!" Inten suddenly gasped, as if processing finally what's happened. "What Are You Doing?" He asked, partially exasperated as he approaches the living prison holding your frame without a hostile wanting this time.

When Inten tries to reach for you, his brother only tugged you away and wrapped his large around around you more while hunching over, before lifting his shirt and pushing you into his ribcage and even zipping up the puffy jacket he wore to ensure your stuck.

"Brother! You Can't Just Keep That Human!" Inten scolded lightly, his vocie muffled by the barriers.

It was pretty warm in here.. And oddly comfortable.. But.. A red light illuminated the area. Looking up, a floating heart was above, cracked. Something told you not to touch the heart at all.

"HUMAN! WE'LL GET YOU OUT SOON!" Vipers loud vocie called from afar.

"We'll Have To Wait All Night Now.." Inten huffed.

"Dammit Ren.." Mono's voice came, a harsh, barely mutter.

Well.. Lets say when you woke up, a whining and desperate werewolf was searching for you while Mono secured windows and doors.

[fandomoneshots-imagines]

Strength (Steve Rogers x OFC)

Warnings: language, slow burn, poorly translated languages, some smut in future chapters, Tony is a dick at the beginning, OFC has manipulative skills similar to Natasha

Translations are in parentheses and italics after each sentence.

It wasn’t hard to figure out what they were thinking when I walked into the room. I was probably the least threatening looking person ever. I liked pastels for fucks sakes. And I had a backpack as a purse that looked like a llama. I had two fucking bows at the ends of my braids for fucks sake

“Natasha, you’ve got to be kidding.” THE Tony Stark spoke up, pinching the bridge of his nose, “She’s a kid! Look sweetheart, thanks for coming in but we’ve got everything covered. We don’t need anymore help. Sorry for wasting your time.” He stood up and motioned towards the door. No one else said anything.

“Mr. Stark, please, I have nowhere else to go. I’ve been crashing on friends' couches ever since my parents kicked me out.” I looked up at him with big, innocent eyes. “They kicked me out because I ‘wasn’t contributing enough’ when it came time to pay bills. I was 18, a minimum wage job, and had no bills to pay.”

He stared at me in silence, trying to detect the lie, which he would never find.

“Tony, give her a chance. You gave Peter one and he’s younger than she is. Just think of the press when it gets out that she was rejected when Peter, the Spider-Man, wasn’t.” The Black Widow, Natasha Romanov, challenged from across the table.

“Fine. But you get a trial run, just like Peter.” Tony’s jaw clenched and he left the conference room.

“Don’t worry about Tony. He’s just been stressed out lately because of the baby.” Natasha rolled her eyes, “But let me introduce you to the rest of the team. This is Steve, Bucky, Sam, Wanda, and Vision. Everyone, this is Dove.”

“Where did you find this one?” Sam asked, obviously checking my body out.

Natasha and I just looked at each other, “At the gym.” We both said at the same time. Like we were actually going to tell them where she found me, besides it wasn’t a complete lie. Nat said she wanted to make a big spectacle out of me, which I really didn’t have a problem with. We would be saving the real story for a later time.

“Well, like Nat said. Don’t worry about Tony. We all like women.” Steve said and blushed at his words. Bucky and Sam smirked at each other, “I didn’t mean like that! I mean don’t get me wrong, I do like women a lot. I’m attracted to all the women!” He rambled and quickly had his own hand slammed over his mouth, with red waves of energy flowing across the table.

“What Steve is trying to say, but is doing an absolutely horrible job at, is that all the men here are very pro-woman. It’s very hard not to be.” Wanda smiled softly, Steve nodding along in confirmation with his hand over his mouth still.

“Well, anyway that was awkward.” Nat said and turned towards me. “Why don’t I show you around, show you to your room, then we have weapons training at 1:30.” She threw her arm over my shoulder and led me out of the room, as we got further down the hall we could hear the others yelling and laughing at Steve.

*Steve’s POV*

“What the fuck was that?” Sam yelled. I let my hand drop from my mouth and dropped my head to my hands.

“I haven’t seen you that nervous in decades punk.” Bucky laughed, “That double date with Jenny Pickens and Hazel Skylark.”

“That was embarrassing for all of us Steve.” Wanda added, “What got into you?”

“I don’t know. I started talking and I couldn’t stop!” I groaned. “I made myself look like a fucking idiot.”

“Yes,” the room agreed.

*original pov*

“Nat, this is too much. I’m not a very big person and I don’t have very much stuff. I can stay somewhere smaller. ” I looked around the room I had been given. It was actually it’s own apartment, although it was much larger than any apartment I had ever stepped foot in.

“No you can’t. This is the place you’ve been given. And actually this is the smallest unit.” She said with a shrug. I almost gave myself whiplash from how fast I turned around. “Come on, your bags have already been brought up. We’ve got training to get to. Since you’re new I arranged it to just be the two of us.”

Nat showed me to the gun range that the compound had set up, showing me other places as well. This place was huge.

“Do I have to use guns though? I don’t like the way they feel.” I scrunch my nose up at the weight of the gun in my hand.

“Absolutely. Sometimes it’s your only option.” She answered with a shrug. “Now, show me how you handle this gun and we will move on from there.”

I sighed, aiming the gun at the target and squeezing my finger on the trigger letting it fire into the target, each bullet hitting square in the center of the target's head. Once the clip was empty I pulled it out and laid it on the table, then stepping back with my hands behind my back.

“That was awesome. I’m gonna get a new target but put it further back. Do the exact same thing.” Natasha instructed and I nodded along, refilling the clip as she got a new target up, moving it 100 yards away. I took a deep breath and in a single breath, squeezed the trigger, aiming in the center of the forehead. Natasha brought the target back and smiled seeing the bullets hit their target.

“Perfect,” She gave me a sinister smile, “Now, how about we go to the gym? I could use a good sparring session.”

“I could too, but Nat, I don’t want to hurt you.” I looked down, wringing my hands together.

“Let’s see if we can talk to either one of our resident super soldiers into fighting with you.” She grinned and led the way to the gym.

“Can I fight the Winter Soldier?” I questioned, maybe a little too giddy.

“I would honestly love to see that.” She said as she pulled the door open to the gym. Sam Wilson was sparring with Clint Barton, Captain America was fighting with James Barnes, and Spider-Man was working with Tony on something. “Hey guys I brought the new recruit in to see how she would do with sparring.” She spoke out and all movement stopped.

“Spiderling, you’re up.” Sam called out. I looked up at Natasha as the skinny kid shot some kind of webbing from his wrist and swung over to where the two of us were standing. We both started shaking our heads.

“No offense to skinny but I don’t want to hurt him.”

“I can lift up to 10 tons. I’ll be ok.” He spoke and I shook my head in shock.

“Wait a minute, this is a kid?!” I screeched, my words receiving weird looks.

“I’m 16!” The kid under the mask screeched back.

“He’s like the same age as you. Maybe a little bit younger.” Tony joined us.

“Look, just spar with him first and we’ll move up from there.” Steve reasoned. I let out a huff but sighed and took off my jacket and shoes. Natasha came over and joined me.

“This kid is good. He can actually lift 10 tons. You’ll need to hold your punches. He’s able to sense things that may cause him danger so look for him to easily block the first two punches. Then start hitting him with combinations. He will try to pin you with his webs” She said softly so only the two of us could hear.

“I got this Nat.” I smiled softly, “I used to teach the kids at the gym how to box. By the way what’s up with those webs. Do they come out of him? And why a spider?” I started to ramble but Nat turned me away and pushed me forward, making me walk over to the mat and could hear Tony talking to the kid.

“Ok Under-Roo, you have to pull your punches. We don’t know what her fighting style is like or if she would be able to handle one of your full punches.” He told the kid. I rolled both my eyes and my shoulders and bounced back and forth on my feet.

The spider kid came forward and watched me with the eye holes twitching. I threw the first punches and, as Natasha predicted, he was able to sense where I was coming from. At one point he had webbed my feet to the floor so I wouldn’t be able to get a good swing in. He took the opportunity to throw his own punch, which I easily caught.

A gasp echoed through the room from everyone except Natasha. I smirked at the kid, pushed him away, and ripped my feet from the webbing then advanced, throwing a series of combination punches. He would continuously block the first punches but the second would come too fast he didn’t have any time to react. With the very last combo I threw a right hook, which was obviously caught, and brought my leg up in front of me, kicking him away.

However, with my kick I put too much force behind it and he went flying towards the wall, which he was luckily able to cling onto last minute.

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, are you ok?” I rushed over to him and he pulled his mask off. The kid had a dopey grin on his face.

“That was awesome! You’re awesome!” He said excitedly.

“Thanks kid,” I smiled, “I’m Dove. What’s your name?”

“I’m Peter Parker! But you can call me Peter. Or Parker. Nat calls me malen'kiy pauk.” He said, butchering the language, “I don’t know what that means but I think it sounds cool.”

I smiled and repeated the word for him in flawless Russian, “It means little spider.”

“Oh that’s so cool!” He smiled then whispered, “How do you say momma spider?”

“Mat' pauk,” he repeated the word a few times before saying it loud enough Natasha heard, turning her head quickly, and giving the young boy a fond smile.

“What the hell was that?!” Tony yelled, pulling Peter away.

“It was a sparring match.”

“It’s cool Mr. Stark. I got much more bruised up from Steve in Berlin!” Peter rubbed his chest, “That kick though will give me a bruise.

“Again, very sorry malen'kiy pauk.”

“She’s one of you isn’t she?” Tony pointed accusingly at Natasha who shook her head.

“I’m American, born and bred.” I rocked back on my feet the pivoted towards the two super soldiers. “Can I spar with one of you now?” I gave the two men an innocent smile.

“Ahh, look Dove. We would love to -,” Steve started to make an excuse but James interrupted him.

“Fuck yes! Let’s go ptenets.” He cracked his neck. (Little bird)

“Ptenets? Deystvitel'no soldat? Takoy unikal'nyy nik.” I smirked and circled around him. (Little bird? Really soldier? Such a unique nickname?)

“YA bol'she ne soldat. Prosto Bucky.” (I’m not a soldier anymore. Just Bucky.)

“Chto sluchilos' s James? On deystvitel'no umer, kogda upal s poyezda?” My words caused him to freeze, giving me the opportunity to attack. I put all my strength into a right hook, making the former soldier stumble back and shake his head. (What happened to James? Did he truly die when he fell off that train?)

“Amerikanets rodilsya i vyros, da?” He grinned then came at me, through calculated punches, all of the being right handed, which were easily avoidable. (American born and bred huh?)

“Da. Teper' davay soldat, ispol'zuy levuyu ruku. Ne sderzhivat'sya.” I smirked, although I knew it wasn’t a good idea to egg the soldier on, I didn’t want him to treat me inferior because I was a woman and half his size. “Zimniy soldat moya zadnitsa.” (Yes. Now come on soldier, use your left hand. Don’t hold back.) (winter soldier my ass)

I let go of the right arm I was holding and immediately had a left hand coming towards my face, blocking it less than an inch away from my nose. I turned my body against Bucky’s and threw him over my shoulder and sat on his chest.

“It appears that you greatly underestimated Miss Dove, Mr Stark.” A soft Irish voice spoke up.

“It appears so FRIDAY.” Tony rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Now, would you kindly explain what the fuck is going on?”

“I’m a mutant.”

[oculusius]

Desk Jockey

“I want that report on my desk at 6 AM tomorrow or your ass is on the street.”

I look up from my keyboard, from the sickeningly modern, blank desk to the even worse face of my branch manager. Picture what you’d expect the person saying this to look like, and you’re probably right. Tall, dark hair combed back, slicked back with just enough gel to not be disgusting. Attractive, but only conventionally, because it hides his fetid interior. The rotten, wriggling insides of the kind of guy who relishes other’s misery, especially when he’s snorting high grade blow on the weekends. Though he’d probably prefer orphan’s tears (But that’s a story for another time).

I’ll do my best, you fucking cretin.

I mumble out some garbled excuse. I won’t even tell you what I said because I forget, or rather, it was so insignificant that I never committed it to memory in the first place. “Sorry Eric,” (He’s one of the ‘hip’ bosses that makes us call him by his first name), “Won’t happen again”, Please don’t take my healthcare away I will literally suck your dick to keep it. He shakes his head and walks away. We’re the last ones in the office, one of the tallest buildings in our shitty, Midwestern town; all glass and steel like some gaudy San Francisco startup. The only lights still on are in the lobby; besides that the only other illumination is from the sickeningly crisp glow emanating from my monitor. As soon as the elevator doors close behind Eric, I grasp my hair in my hands; it’s drenched in sweat and I’m balding already, despite being in my late twenties. Flakes of dandruff are appearing on my scalp, but by the time I get home from work I’m too damn tired to remember to get that special shampoo. Stress related? Probably. Did I have time to fix it? Fuck no.

I swear to God you motherfucker I’ll name you when I eat a fucking bullet you shit fuck…

Stop. The more rational voice in my head. Finish this shit in the next—5 hours? Shit, it’s already 1 AM! I’ll smash bottles and get proper wasted when I’m finished. And when the following day is over, seeing as I’d probably be pulling an all-nighter. Fuck. I take two caffeine pills from the nondescript tin in my top drawer.

Alright. I need to get the excel sheet from that old email inbox the intern left when he quit (not that I blame him). To do that, I need to go through my inbox and find that time I CC’ed him about scheduling that conference call. But to get into my inbox, I need to reset my password because company policy is to change passwords every 3 weeks, and it can’t be a past password…

Alright. One step at a time.

 It’s two hours later. I found the file, finally. I feel like I crossed the fucking Rubicon with no limbs to get here. Now, to get the shit I need from it and send it to Eric. I hope he chokes on it. While bleeding. From every orifice, and then some. I open the file, and I’ve never been so goddamn happy to see the sickening green of excel. Document recovery—what’s that? Fuck it, I’ll deal with it later. I ctrl f the account name. Beads of sweat are dripping off my forehead. Outside, it’s still the vaguely pinkish black of night in any big city. I might actually get some sleep tonight…

WHY IS THERE A FUCKING HYPERLINK HERE?

Oh boy, this better not cost me my job. I get sent to a greyish webpage, the kind of soulless portal that screams ‘high finance’. A nondescript login page for “Kleene-Rosser Accounts Management LLC”. I roll my eyes. Management occasionally threw us these shitty platforms because their friends from way back developed them, and they wanted to help them out. Because God forbid we use Citibank.

There’s no login, but there’s a support number on the bottom of the page. Maybe if I call, they can help me? It’s worth a shot. I mean, I had nothing but time, and if it actually worked and saved my job, I would fly all the way to India or some shit to kiss that phone technician on the lips. Alright. God, when I was an undergrad did I ever imagine this would be my waking life (or lack thereof?) I should’ve joined the military. Better to be blown up overseas then mentally scarred over here.

4-887-612-393: 24/7 Live Support

I call from my office phone, in the hopes that it’ll lend credence to the claim that I fucking need this login. The phone rings for what seems like half an hour, but I can tell from the clock on the wall that it hasn’t been a single, godforsaken minute. Maybe I’d died and gone to purgatory? Seemed believable enough—although, I wasn’t sure what I’d done in a past life to deserve this. Maybe I was a Mongol slavedriver, and…

“Hello, this is ZenDesk, my name is Robert. How may I help you today?” My crisis of existential spiraling instantly, mercifully, shatters. I put on a cheery voice.

“Hi, I work at [company name]. I really need to find something for my boss, and in this accounts payable excel file, it says that I’m supposed to login to a ‘Kleene-Rosser Accounts Management?’ I have all my company info if you need it, I was just never told we used this firm before.”

A beat passes. I hope he heard the desperation in my voice, because if I had a guardian angel, it’d be on the other end of that phone line. Why did I tell him I never heard of this place? He doesn’t care! He isn’t paid to care!

“Of course, sir. Just a moment please. What’s your name sir?”

That thin veneer of politeness again.

“Uh, Keith Sanders. I also have my company email, if you can send the password there…”

“OK sir, what’s the address?”

I spell it out for him. My fingers are digging into the faux-leather of the chair. I’m starting to sweat. If this doesn’t work, I’m fucking hosed…

I tell him the address, and soon I have the URL to reset the Kleene-Rosser password. Surprisingly, my company email works for the username. Lucky guess I suppose? I thank him, truly from the bottom of my heart, and wait for the page to load.

According to the web page, the site was some kind of file storage service. Besides a few nondescript tabs on the top leading to “Home”, “Support”, etc. there’s nothing but a grey background set behind a very basic file directory.

[company_name]/Accounts/Accounts_Payable/2019/May/.

There it is! So deceptively close. 05.19.19.xcl

When I try to open it, I hear the most awful of noises: the Windows 10 error sound, impossibly loud. File corrupted. WHAT THE FUCK? HOW DO YOU CORRUPT A FUCKING EXCEL FILE? SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS SIDEWAYS?

I dig my fingertips into my temples. I can feel the faint outline of an engorged vein on the side of my head. I imagine it, an angry, vibrant purple, the shooting representation of my immense, earth-shattering frustration.

It was as if every cog in the infernal machine that was my work place was designed specifically to drive me fucking bananas. Like my life was some cosmic joke to see how much I would endure before going postal, or at least smashing my monitor. Jump out an office window, strapped with speakers blaring “FUCK THIS PLACE” over and over again, even when they’re scraping me off the pavement with a comically large spatula. Every little thing piled atop one another to form the worst shit tsunami eternally suspended above my head. Every wriggling, squealing fucking cell in my brain…

Alright, let’s think of solutions. Eric wanted the file, and if it was corrupted, I’d just tell him the truth: that it’s how I found it. Man, why did I drive myself up the wall earlier? So stupid… I log into my email. Actually, I don’t. As soon as I hit enter in the URL bar, I get that fucking google “no internet” error dinosaur. At this point, I try to keep rolling with the punches. Alright, network diagnostics, here we go. After what feels like centuries, after windows resets the router, etc. I finally get an answer. Sort of. An error code. I had two hours left before I was unemployed. I take another caffeine pill and keep going, determined to see this shit through to the end.

Hidden on the fifth page of the search results is my answer. It’s on an obscure, early 2000s web forum that had a grand total of 2 users online, probably bots. A post from a literal decade ago has my same issue, and one of the commenters mentions he had the same thing. Apparently, it’s a hardware issue with the router. Despite being woefully underqualified to deal with IT issues, I have no other choice. No fucking way Eric will believe that the internet cut out 2 hours before my deadline. I find the tech support number, and pray that the information is up to date and that they won’t have to send a technician out to fix it.

As the phone rings, I ponder my situation. I was unlucky enough to find what I needed right as the Wi-Fi died, and it was probably one of those issues that fixes itself in an hour anyway. There it is again; I can almost see the shadowy gears of the universe working against me, trying to crush my psyche beneath their teeth into bits of mental scrap. When I finally get a response, I’m caught off guard. This guy seems American. His voice is a bit hoarse, and I picture him as the fat comic book guy from the Simpsons, gut and all.

“----- tech support. How can I help you?”

I don’t like the way his voice trails off every word, leaving a breathy wisp behind like the tail of a comet. It makes me want to shudder.

“Yeah, uh—“

My mind blanks for a minute. I’ve been derailed, and it takes an agonizing few seconds for me to decide what I want to say.

“I was trying to email my boss, and—“again with the unnecessary details “I got this error code, and I saw online that it was an issue with the router.”

“Uh huh.” He sounds skeptical. And disapproving. I imagine he’s wrinkled that gob of cartilage clinging to his face he calls a nose. “What’s the model number?” He finally asks.

I read off the name, and he laughs. He fucking laughs. Is my suffering amusing him? Arousing him?

I have a clearer image of this guy now. Pervading my mind, filling the gaps in my brain, covering my synaptic gaps with fucking cement. He’s grossly overweight, in some dark room somewhere. He smells like BO and he is sweaty milky beads off his forehead that are landing into his keyboard and congealing. The scent is odious, like a corpse coated in mayonnaise and left in a tomb for five millennia, except it’s still wet.

“Sir?” That subtle tone of annoyance again. “Do you understand me, sir?”

“Uh, yeah, sorry. Would you mind repeating that? I was just—talking to someone.” Idiot he can tell you weren’t.

I write down his instructions, but first he pontificates about some issue with a chip in the router or some shit. Apparently I have to call the manufacturer? And they can help me dust it off or some such?

He’s fleshy and sickeningly soft, like a malformed, hairless puppy. That shirt’s been pasted to his damp stomach longer than you’ve been on Earth. It’s just a crude impersonation of the kind of people that run this industry. And you’re just his plaything, to be antagonized and fucked with until…

As soon as my attention is re-centered, I say “Alright thanks bye” without even knowing what he was rambling about before. He laughs. No, cackles. I can practically smell the stale coffee and tobacco on his breath. I slam the receiver down. It was starting to stick to my face with sweat and I really wanted to switch to my cell anyway. Peeling it away was orgasmic.

I examine the napkin I had scribbled on. I’d written it down in a haze, and it almost felt like I was reading someone else’s handwriting. Was that a 5, or a 6, or what? Doesn’t matter. I plug in the numbers, to some obscure fucking company I know nothing about. There’s like 12 digits, not like any number I’ve ever dialed. Unbeknownst to me, I was about to make the worst fucking mistake of my life, worse than taking on that debt to go to college or that time I puked on grandma’s casket at the funeral. Light years away, I imagine, some metaphysical blade was eagerly, sexually, preparing to scoop out my insides and flay them across time and space, flicking its imaginary tongue back and forth in anticipation.

I had expected that infuriating error code, but instead, I feel it. All of it. The other side is cold, and every hair on my body stands right on edge.

“Hello?”

The phone’s definitely connected.

“Hello?!”

This time it seems to echo. I’d opened a door, a beaming ray of light into a place that hasn’t been graced by it in eons.

“Is this Infolink appliances?” I gulp suddenly. My throat is impossibly dry. Everything that made me me, my identity, my memories, my interests… were spilling out into space, into an impossible void far blacker than even the darkest of nights. Please. Like my brain was a plastic bag full of air, but now it’s been punctured. It’s getting sucked out like a breached spaceship, and my body is curling around the now torturous void. I am a husk.

I drop the phone on the ground, and the screen cracks. But I’m far beyond caring about that screen now. The spiritual, inky black is billowing out of the phone like an endless wave going out in every direction. And there’s something else. A raucous laughter, and sneering, they’re laughing so hard somewhere backstage that their mouths, or whatever they call those fucking gullets, are overflowing with sickening white foam with streaks of yellow bile. Dark silhouettes that have been eagerly waiting this whole time for this horrible climax. I’d played my part. Everything else was out of my hands now.

[iamalivenow]

Martin: Hey don't mean to impose, could you pick up the creamer for the break room?

Tim: isn't this something that's supposed to be provided?

Martin: Oh- There's creamer- It's just. Very bad.

Tim: that cheap french vanilla shit?

Martin: Mmhm.

Tim: yeah sure.

Tim: wait, do you even drink coffee?

Martin: Well, no. But Sasha does. And Jon sometimes.

Tim: oh thank god.

Martin: What?

Tim: you went five minutes with out mentioning the boss.

Tim: i was sure prentiss got you again.

Martin: Oh fuck off Tim.

Tim: :p

------

🌩: Oh my god. Stop.

🍃: too good for Hand Written Invitations are we?

🌩: You send me one once a week. It's lost the pizzaz. It's lost the flavor.

🍃: you say this as if I have other people to go sky diving with

🌩: Of course you do! Everyone! Everyone is into free skydiving! Just don't bother asking first!

🍃: it's not the same with them

🍃: they just don't Get It

🌩: Oh my god.

🍃: you can even invite that cute Dead boy

🌩: Oh My God.

🍃: don't feel like you have to pretend for me

🌩: Stop. I'm begging you to stop.

🍃: all i'm saying is i Posed Nude for a lot of painters during the golden years

🌩: No one calls it that. Stop telling me about your childhood flings with Italians.

🍃: some of them were German.

🍃: and Flemish.

🍃: and there was this one Dutch boy.

🌩: Wait.

🍃: sure a bit Spiral for my taste but there's really nothing wrong with that either

🌩: Wait.

🍃: oh, Spiral's a sore spot for you huh

🍃: memory does Go first

🍃: something to look Forward too

🍃: well ignore that I Suppose but really, cross fear is totally acceptable.

🌩: You're exhausting.

🍃: i'm sure some people would argue but everyone does it Eventually

🍃: look at Peter Lukas.

🌩: They divorced like ten times.

🍃: but he keeps coming back to him, Doesn't He?

-------

Sasha: I might be a little late today.

Jonathan Sims: Don't worry about it.

Sasha: Cheers.

-------

👧: ლ(●ↀωↀ●)ლ so excited so excited so excited

🐛: HHHAAAHHHAAAHHHAAA WWWHHHYYY

🧒🏻: (ٛ⁎꒪̕ॢ ˙̫ ꒪ٛ̕ॢ⁎) why they say!!!

🐛: OOOHHH TTTHHHEEE RRRIIITTTUUUAAALLL

🧒🏾: (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞ i'm so excited i can barely stand it!!!

🐛: BBBUUUTTT IIITTTSSS NNNOOOTTT EEEVVVEEENNN YYYOOOUUURRRSSS

👦🏾: i know!!! that's what makes it stressful. but if you need ANYTHING ᕕ༼✿•̀︿•́༽ᕗ

🐛: HHHAAAHHHAAA IIILLL AAASSSKKK YYYOOOUUU FFFIIIRRRSSSTTT

👧🏼: ♪～(◔◡◔ิ)人(╹◡╹๑)～♪

🐛: WWWHHHIIICCCHHH OOONNNEEE IIISSS MMMEEE

👦🏿: the cute one ♫ ┌༼ຈل͜ຈ༽┘ ♪

-------

Jonathan Sims: Hey.

🌀: hEy

Jonathan Sims: Are you-

Jonathan Sims: [Is Typing]

Jonathan Sims: You know what. Never mind. I was going to ask you something stupid. It doesn't matter.

🌀: lMaO sUrE

-------

🍃: anyway, Enough about me

🍃: invite the cute Dead boy

🍃: it's so Romantic

🍃: the view Alone

🌩: Okay, first of all, we're just friends. Second of all, even if we weren't, I don't need dating tips from you.

🍃: Debatable.

🌩: Third of all. Even if I was gay, and even if Oliver was interested, and even if I asked him out on a date.

🍃: phenomenal hypotheticals lad.

🌩: What on Earth makes you think I'd invite you along?

🍃: hmm.

🍃: if i was a Lesser man, i would say something like

🍃: how dare You

🍃: my Own son

🌩: We're not related.

🍃: but! instead!

🍃: i can just point out the Space station i own

🍃: and call it a Day

-------

Jonathan Sims: Elias, call an exterminator. This is getting ridiculous.

Elias Bouchard: Jon, don't be ridiculous. You want to involve more humans with Prentiss' worms?

Jonathan Sims: I'm not even talking about the worms, which I would argue proves my point beyond all reason.

Elias Bouchard: What are you talking about then?

Jonathan Sims: I had to kill three spiders today Elias. Three.

Elias Bouchard: Yes, you're very brave Jon. I'm very proud.

Jonathan Sims: Are you in your office?

Elias Bouchard: No where else in the world I'd rather be, Jon.

-------

🕸️: hey oli

🕸️: no hard feelings right?

🕸️: we're still buds?

🕸️: still friends?

🕸️: still tight?

⚰️: Was that a pun

🕸️: it's not fun if you point it out kid

🕸️: keep up

🕸️: anyway listen, friend

🕸️: buddy

🕸️: pal

⚰️: What do i have to do to make this stop

🕸️: lmao thats the spirit

🕸️: could you be a doll and swing by the watcher's place?

⚰️: I'm not even in London

🕸️: so cute, i swear

🕸️: yeah you are.

🕸️: turn around bff

⚰️: Is it poisonous?

🕸️: i want you to look at that question

🕸️: think about who you sent it to

⚰️: What do you want

🕸️: just bring a box of lovers over

⚰️: A box of what

🕸️: i picked some little buddies out special

🕸️: mated pairs

🕸️: to really make it last for like

🕸️: forever

🕸️: do you know how many eggs a cellar baby lays?

🕸️: like thirty

⚰️: You know you could higher literal delivery men right

🕸️: and if a box of lovers has like 100 of these bad boys

🕸️: you know my little dudes live pretty long?

⚰️: Fine

🕸️: fuck yeah

🕸️: you're so cool oli

⚰️: Delete my number

🕸️: already gone

-------

  : Are you concerned at all?

👁️: About what should I be concerned about? No please, tell me. God forbid there's a blind spot in my vision. Perish the thought.

  : So you're aware of the situation?

👁️: Go ahead, I'm listening.

  : ...I'm sure you're handling it.

👁️: Just like I handle everything else. By myself.

  : Where did this bad mood even come from?

👁️: Well this sanctimonious prick texted me.

  : You're allowed to pick your own Archivist.

👁️: If you were wondering what the divorce was about, it's this, we're here, we've arrived to the point.

  : I'm not trying to condescend to you.

👁️: Spoken like someone about to start condescending.

  : You're literally sitting on a nest, Elias.

👁️: Bold of you to assume I don't want it there.

-------

Tim: are you still mad?

Martin: ...No.

Tim: great uh, good.

Martin: I'm sorry for snapping.

Tim: no, it was a shitty joke. Sasha already told me off.

Martin: Oh thank god. I was sure Prentiss got you.

Tim: fair.

Martin: Apologizing on your own? Really had me worried.

Tim: alright alright, yes yes, get it out.

Martin: I already got it out.

Tim: you're better than all of us Martin.

-------

Sasha: Want to come over?

Tim: yeah sure.

Sasha: Bring some wine over, yeah?

Tim: long day?

Sasha: Oh, you wouldn't believe it.

Tim: try me.

Sasha: No, I mean, you literally wouldn't believe it.

Tim: really. try me. i'm down for anything.

Sasha: Yeah you are.

Tim: up top

Sasha: I'm already outside, Tim. I don't know how much higher you want me to get.

Tim: you have to come get me now actually i'm swooning too hard

Sasha: The things I do for casual work hookups.

-------

🐛: RRREEEAAADDDYYY???

👦: d(-_^)

🐛: CCCAAANNN YYYOOOUUU SSSEEEEEE IIITTT

🧒🏻: (๑´ڡ`๑三๑´ڡ`๑)

🐛: CCCUUUTTTEEE

👧🏻: i'm nothing if not (ฅ⁍̴̀◊⁍̴́)و ̑̑

🐛: JJJUUUSSSTTT WWWAAAIIITTTIIINNNGGG

🧑🏿: ʅ(｡Ő౪Ő｡)ʃ

🐛: :::)))

👰🏻: hey wait listen if you're just burning time...☆⌒ヽ(´ε｀ )

🐛: ???

👰: burn some time with me (((*☣ω☣(ε◕* )))

🐛: HHHAAAHHHAAA OOOKKKAAAYYY

👰🏿: ღ꒡ ᴈ꒡)♡⃛(꒡ε ꒡ღ

-------

Jonathan Sims: Stay away from any Michaels.

Martin: I don't think I know that many but I'll try my hardest too.

Jonathan Sims: Sasha had an experience earlier today.

Martin: Just one more thing to look out for.

Jonathan Sims: Stay safe tonight.

Martin: Will do. You too.

-------

Martin: [Screen Shot Sent]

Martin: Oh my god.

Tim: wow.

Tim: when's the wedding?

Sasha: Don't be a dick, Tim.

Tim: i'm being sincerely supportive of our coworker and his weird crush on the boss who lowest key hates him.

Tim: how am I being a dick?

Sasha: Tim.

Martin: I think that's the nicest thing he's ever said to me.

Tim: and you've even got it saved for posterity.

Sasha: Oh Martin.

-------

🍃: if you want to make it a double date, i've got Takers

🌩: I keep waiting for it to stop and it just doesn't.

🍃: you have to stay on “The Grind” as the kids Say

🌩: I can't believe I'm even entertaining this but who?

🍃: Peter's moping again.

🌩: No.

🍃: that's fine

🍃: didn't want to make out with him anyway

-------

⚰️: Done

🕸️: someone should promote you

⚰️: Can I ask why you call them that

🕸️: my chums?

⚰️: Yeah

🕸️: well

🕸️: The Mother spins her webs and her Children are all upon them

⚰️: and

🕸️: i guess

🕸️: in this analogy

🕸️: i'm a college drop out turned baby sitter

🕸️: just to make ends meet

🕸️: my life is so hard

🕸️: so trying

⚰️: So it's bitter

🕸️: huh?

🕸️: haven't you been paying attention oli?

🕸️: they're great kids

-------

🌀: yOu Up?

Jonathan Sims: Wholly and entirely against my will, but yes. Go ahead.

🌀: bOuGhT a FrIeNd A fIrE eXtInGuIsHeR. hE wAs De-LiGhTeD.

Jonathan Sims: [Is Typing]

Jonathan Sims: [Is Typing]

Jonathan Sims: [Is Typing]

Jonathan Sims: I don't know if I'm more mad about you kidnapping my employee or about that atrocity.

🌀: gotta love the hustle though

[imagines-for-the-fangirls-soul]

Famous Flame - Peter Parker

Demi Lovato Prompt #5 Listen Here: La La Land

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader Word Count: 1,673 Synopsis: Reader is an actress studying Peter’s high school for an upcoming movie. They both have secret identities, but they’re keeping an entirely different secret about their feelings from each other.

No Endgame spoilers, either!

“What kind of high school aged person has to study a high school to know how to act like a high schooler?” Peter asked as MJ shoved her books in her locker.

“I have no idea. It’s supposed to be kept quiet, too. Once the movie is out, she’s supposed to become one of the biggest teen stars, but right now we have to keep it under wraps.”

“Okay, but how do you know all of this?”

“I’m class president. She’s coming here as a new student, and I’m in charge of showing her around. But since I’m too busy,” she said, closing her locker, “I’m passing that duty on to my best friend.”

“What makes you think I’m not busy?” She squinted her eyes at him, making Peter sigh. “Fine.”

“Great. She’s meeting us at lunch. Try not to embarrass-”

“I’m not going to embarrass you.”

“I was gonna say yourself, but good, don’t embarrass me either,” she said, patting his shoulder as she walked off towards class.

Three hours later, Peter walked into the cafeteria and found MJ and Ned sitting at their regular table with a new person. As Peter walked over, you looked up at him with a smile that made Peter forget even his name.

“Hi,” you said.

“Y/N, this is Peter,” MJ said, glaring at Peter. “Peter!”

“Hi! Sorry, sorry.” He held out his hand and you shook it with a smile.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, yeah, you too.”

“Peter, sit. Stop being weird,” MJ said. You laughed softly, and it was a good thing that Peter was already sitting next to you because his knees were about to give out. 

“MJ says you’ll be showing me around the school,” you said, looking over at him.

“Yeah, it’s no problem.”

“I appreciate it. I know it seems silly, but the Netflix people want to make sure I know a genuine high school experience.”

“What kind of high school do you go to now?” Ned asked.

“I mostly get tutors to come in because I’ve been traveling around so much.”

“Have you been in anything we would have seen?”

“I’ve only had a couple of guest starring spots on a couple of TV shows but this movie with Netflix is the first thing I’ve been the lead in.”

“That’s awesome!” Ned exclaimed.

“Thanks!” you said, giggling softly. “So, what are your after school plans, Peter?”

“Oh, uh, nothing much.”

“Cool. Mind if I tag along? I have some questions to bounce off of you.” Peter choked on his sandwich as MJ kicked his shoe.

“Sure.”

“Great,” you said, touching his bicep gently. “I’ll meet you after class?”

“Sure,” he said again, his voice cracking just slightly. 

You waited for thirty minutes after school, but eventually, it was clear that either Peter had forgotten or blown you off. Starting school for the first time in the middle of a semester was a stressful experience, so you decided to treat yourself to a milkshake to make this day a little better. 

As you sat down in the nearest McDonald’s with your chocolate milkshake, you saw a flash of red outside the window, and instantly wondered if you had just seen the famous Spider-Man. A few moments later, Peter walked into the McDonalds, panting slightly.

“Y/N, I am so sorry,” he said, sitting across from you in the booth.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I didn’t mean to bail on you, just something came up.”

“That’s alright,” you said, setting your milkshake down, letting out a sigh, “I realize it’s stupid that I know nothing about a normal high school, I’ve just lived a very weird life. I’m always flying all over the city, it’s hard to find someone to understand.”

“I understand.”

“No,” you said with a laugh, “You don’t. And it’s okay.”

“I do, though.”

“Do people go around shoving cameras in your face, hoping to catch you in your worst moment?” Peter’s face changed slightly, and for a second you wondered if he did know what you were feeling. “Peter?”

“No, but I also like to come here when I’ve had a bad day.” You smiled and Peter excused himself to go get himself a milkshake as well. “I am surprised to find you here, though.”

“Why?”

“I thought famous people were supposed to be health nuts.” You laughed and took a lengthy sip of your milkshake, making him laugh. 

“Well, I’m not a supermodel. I still eat McDonald's.” Peter smiled at you, making slight butterflies rise in your stomach.

“So that’s your co-star?” Peter asked as you took a seat next to him, watching the man who would be your romantic interest in your upcoming movie greet fans at the door to your cafeteria. The decision to film the movie at this school came two weeks after your first day, so not only did you get to film here, you got to actually study here, too. (Much to the delight of both you and Peter)

“Well, since I’m such a nobody, they wanted someone famous to star with me.”

“You’re not a nobody,” Peter said under his breath. He seemed to be embarrassed by the fact that Ned and MJ were around. Since starting here, you and Peter spent nearly every day together and had developed a new kind of relationship.

“Alright, perk up, he’s coming this way,” you said, nudging his shoulder. 

“Don’t look so nervous,” Peter said, cocking an eyebrow at you.

“I’m confident, but I still have my moments,” you said, standing up shakily as you introduced yourself to your co-star again, and to your group of friends. 

“Are you okay?” MJ whispered as your co-star sat down on the other side of you, shamelessly flirting with you.

“I’m fine,” Peter responded, focusing on his tater tots. MJ raised her eyebrow at him but didn’t question him any more. At the end of lunch, you all stood, and Peter turned towards you, as the two of you often walked to your biology class together. 

“Ready to go?” he asked.

“Actually, I was just going to head out early with Noah to get ready for our next scene.”

“Yep, the prom kiss scene,” he said, grinning in a way that made Peter want to web him to the cafeteria floor.

“I’ll text you tonight?” you said as Noah put a hand on your back, leading you out of the cafeteria.

“Yeah, sure.”

It took another month and a half of shooting until you were finally done with filming. It was an exciting and stressful time, particularly because Peter never seemed to want to talk. You had been so close, up until Noah came to film your scenes together. 

It was the night before your first press junket when you finally saw him again. You were panicking about what was going to happen and only wanted to talk to him. You went to his apartment, but May said that he had left an hour or so ago. You called him a few times, but the longer he didn’t answer, the more stressed you got. 

Not wanting to go back home, you walked up to his rooftop, craving some fresh air. You sat on the ledge of the roof, looking out over the city. You loved New York, you didn’t want to move back to LA. Just as you were reaching the climax of your career crisis, you heard a thud behind you.

“Shit,” Spider-Man said, creating a web string to fly off the building.

“Wait!” you called, walking over to him, just as he dropped back onto the roof.

“What can I do for you, citizen?” he said in a deep voice that sounded fake.

“Well, truthfully, I could use some advice.”

“I’m not sure I’m the best-”

“Please,” you said, reaching for his gloved hand. He shrugged and took a seat next to you on the building’s ledge. 

“So, what can I do for you, citizen?”

“Well, I have this problem. It’s always been my dream to be an actress, and I just got to shoot my first movie.”

“That doesn’t sound like a problem.”

“It shouldn’t be, but if I want to continue this career, I’d have to move out to LA. Permanently.”

“Oh,” he said, his voice dropping to its normal octave. “Why don’t you want to move?”

“I don’t think I’ll fit there. I want to wear Converse with all of my dresses, not foot breaking high heels. Plus, I love the city, and there’s someone here that makes me love it even more. Even if he’s been a dick the last few days.”

“Oh? Who is this person.”

“My friend, Peter. He’s a nerd, but a total sweetheart. I really like him, and I think he likes me, too, but he hasn’t spoken to me in weeks.”

“Maybe he felt like your affection lied somewhere else.”

“Well, you said, scooting closer to the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, “If he would just look, he would see that my co-star is a complete bone head and an asshole. He’s not my type at all.”

“Well, I’m not sure I can help you anymore, citizen. Maybe you should just tell your friend how you feel.”

“I just did,” you said, smiling at him. He stuttered over a response as you grabbed the mask at his neck and pulled it off. 

“How did you know?” he asked quietly.

“I know how people live double lives, and you’re horrible at making excuses.” He smiled and took your hand, smiling. “So, Peter, tell me do you feel the way I feel?”

“Yeah,” he said, nodding his head. You smiled and leaned in to kiss him, running your hand through his soft hair. When he pulled away, he was grinning so cutely that you had to kiss him again. 

“Did I help you with your problem?” he asked, helping you to stand up.

“I won’t change anything in my life. I’m staying myself, and in New York. For now.”

“Good,” he said, pulling you back into his strong arms.

[sophero]

I had a weird experience tonight.

I’m not even sure how to start talking about this, I feel too many ways about it all at once.  Regretful is possibly one of the most important for me to process, because I don’t handle regret well, so I’ll approach it through that lens.  I try very hard not to do things in life that I will regret.  I can look back on most of my actions and say honestly that I did the best I could at the time.  Even if the outcome wasn’t how I’d like it to be, I generally feel like I’ve acquitted myself the best I could under the circumstances, so there’s nothing to feel regretful about.  Not so tonight.

A girl asked me for my number tonight.  In the heat of the moment, I said no.  I’ve been kicking myself ever since.  I’m pushing 40, very overweight, and not the best-looking guy even if I were in good shape.  I despise being single, and I have spent the greater majority of my adult life that way.  A stranger has literally *never* asked for my number before, and I would be unprepared for it under the best of circumstances, let alone tonight, when I was tired and startled by the situation and stressed about work and getting some work on a personal project done tonight and and and...  I’m not making excuses, none of those things are The Reason I Did That, but like I said, I’ve been kicking myself ever since.

I was out with some friends at a gaming bar, playing some games.  Three of us had played some Pac-Man Battle Royale, and then two more of our friends arrived.  They went to play a shooter I didn’t have much interest in, so I lingered at the Pac-Man table where some people had left their drinks.  While I was checking out my phone, a cute Asian girl came timidly up to the table and said, “Excuse me?”.  I was like, “Yes?”, thinking she was going to ask for the table to play Pac-Man.  But instead she said, “Can I have your number?”  No lead-in, no introduction, nothing...  just asked for my number.  I was suspicious.  This is probably not the right emotional reaction, but it’s the one I have.  This is what I’m working with.  So I was like, “What for?”.  Derp.  She seemed kind of nervous and said, “So we can hang out some time?” or something to that effect.  Now, understand, as I said before a stranger has NEVER asked for my number before.  I’ve got decades of experience not being approached by anyone who doesn’t want me to buy something or sign a petition, so there was an element of that.  There was also that sickening middle school feeling of “is this a joke?  Am I being trolled?  What’s the scam here?”.  I felt defensive, my fight-or-flight was triggered, and emotionally the response was pretty similar to when I click through to something on a web site and there’s a form demanding my contact information.  You want my email, phone number, and address to download the free trial?  Fuck you!  I can live without it.  But I also realized there was a chance she was being sincere and I didn’t want to be a dick about it if she was.  My brain immediately started trying to figure out if she was sincere or not in the third of a second or so before I needed to respond.  Coming up with nothing, and wanting to communicate that I was flattered if she was sincere, but avoid the scam if she was not, I said, “Thank you, but no thank you.”  Which, in retrospect, sounds a lot harsher to me than I wanted to express at the time.  I was trying to be polite, but I suspect that came off cold.

Anyway.  I was shaken.  And have been for a couple of hours now since it happened, really.  I fucked up, and I know it.  That was a wonderful opportunity to meet someone new, and I turned it down.  That was a situation that, when I’m not in the heat of the moment, I tell myself that I WANT to have happen to me.  There was nothing wrong with her (that I could tell from a fifteen-second interaction, unless you count the somewhat awkward approach, but shit...  she’s doing better than I am).  I feel bad that I might have made her bad.  The emotional, single-and-hating it part of my brain is telling me that I made it to almost 40 before that ever happened to me, and *it may never happen again*.  The logical part of my brain knows better than to believe that, and is telling me to keep going out (to that specific venue, which is maybe a little too specific, but you know human brains and their excessive zeal for pattern recognition...) and maybe something like that will happen again or maybe I’ll run into her and I can apologize and maybe even connect with her the second time around.  Seems unlikely, but...

I mean, shit.  If I want to not be single, that was the exact polar opposite of the right thing to do.  What’s that saying, “Success is where preparation and opportunity meet.”?  I had the opportunity to meet someone, but I was wholly fucking unprepared.  And so, regret.  I wish I could have a do-over on that encounter, which is a very rare desire on my part.  I guess all I can do is try to be more prepared next time.  Figure out what to say, how to handle a situation like that.  But fuck.

And also, holy shit, that happened.  That NEVER happens.  What?  Why?  How?  Wrestling with my self-esteem over here.

I’m normally a pretty stoic guy, deliberately so, as it helps me deal with pain.  But this one event pierced my armor and absolutely fucking wrecked me.  I don’t have a lot of friends I feel like I can be vulnerable with or talk about relationship/dating/etc, and the few I don’t have are already asleep, so here I am dumping out my purse all over Tumblr.  Anyway.  If anyone has any advice for me, I’m all ears.

Oh, fuck.  Aphrodite.  I...  I gotta go.  😢

[downeysgirl94]

Amends & Girls Ch. 10 of Not Alone Anymore

Natasha had just arrived back at the compound and wasn’t sure what she was going to walk into. She knew she had messed up in the past with the accords with Tony but she wanted to make amends even if Steve wouldn’t yet. Luckily Ross had been removed from the accords commodity that she knew of so she didn’t have to worry about him. Natasha stepped off the elevator and immediately saw some of peter’s books in the common room it made her smile, she hadn’t seen peter in so long she missed seeing him when she was here. She had to earn tony trust back first since there is no way she will be allowed to hang with peter otherwise tony loves him too much. She sighed.

“Friday where is tony?” she called

“Boss is currently in his lab would you like me to alert him of your presence Ms. Romanoff?” FRIDAY asked

“Yes let him know I’m in the common room, thank you FRIDAY” Natasha responded

“It’s was my pleasure” the AI replied

Natasha sat on the couch waiting for tony she picked up one of peter’s books to make time go by it was his math textbook it made her grin glancing through it she saw so many doodles about star wars and him do equations in his book god he was too smart for his own good. She noticed he had a picture in to book mark where his class was, when she turned to it and saw the picture she couldn’t help but smile it was a picture of peter and tony it looks like at a convention of some sort judging by peter’s shirt. They looked so happy it had to been recently since tony had what looked like the black eye he had around the time of the accords. Nat sighed thinking about that again but was slightly relived peter was there for tony. She made sure she did lose peter spot but kept glancing though his book and noticed what she guessed peter and his friend were writing back and forth to each other.

Dude are you ever going to ask MJ out?

What are you talking about?

It’s obvious you like her and I’m beginning to not doubt she has feeling for you too. go for it.

Were friends Ned nothing more!!!

Sure lol I guess I got confused with all the staring like you used to do to Liz ;)

Natasha could help but chuckle at this apparently Pete was embarrassed for liking a friend more than a friend.

“What is so funny about a high schooler’s math book?” tony asked stepping off the elevator obviously annoyed

Natasha immediately closed the book and set it on the table and stood to greet him.

“Hi tony I know your probably not thrilled to see me but before you ask I have not had any contact with rogers or any of his team since I last seen them in Germany.”

“Romanoff you expect me to believe that you tell me time again I can trust you but every time you go behind my back and break It.” tony said angrily

“Tony I’m trying to make amends that’s why I came here today, I know your mad you are right to be I don’t know what happened after Germany but I’m not going to push it” noticing tony slightly wince at the mention of it

“tony I knew how Steve gets when he puts his mind to something he won’t budge he doesn’t care what will happen as long as he got his way so I let him go so the battle would end in Germany. I didn’t want anyone else hurt” Nat said sighing

“Big lot of help your interfering did for Rhodey” tony said defeated

“Tony Vision didn’t mean to do that you know that, again I’m sorry what I was talking about was Spiderman” Nat said with a grin

“What about him?” tony said defensively

“Tony the others may be fooled but I’m not an idiot I know peter is Spiderman and I know Steve was not going easy on him for the amount of time they fought he was lucky he didn’t get hurt if Steve stayed and fought any longer whose saying he wouldn’t of really hurt him. I care for peter too.”

Tony sighed and rubbed his face and sat on the couch

“ I didn’t want him to come but he literally begged me wouldn’t leave me alone until I allowed it I told him to keep his distance to only web them up but of course him having my DNA makes him headstrong literally almost had a damn heart attack when I saw cap drop a gateway on him.”

“Tony I let him go because I didn’t want peter hurt I knew you were freaking out too.”

“Yeah Jesus I thought having a kid without powers was a cause for stress the moment he told me about his powers I could feel myself getting greyer by the minute.”

“How did he get powers?” Natasha asked

“Spider bite basically he has enhanced everything which is great for everything but my sanity.” Tony said with a chuckle

“Like I said tony I’m here to make amends I know you have made some changes to the accords and I’m willing to go along with whatever is in place I am truly sorry for breaking you trust tony. Nat said with a smile

“Well without the dick Ross things are a lot easier I can easily get you pardoned eventually ill work on the others if I decide to” tony said bitterly

“Whatever Steve did I can tell I had a huge impact on you and no I’m not going to ask it not for me to know but I can tell peter has helped you through it.”

“Yeah I guess” tony said unsurely

Natasha picked up peters book again and pulled out the photo and showed him

“This picture looks like it was taken maybe a week after it happened the old tony stark wouldn’t ever be at one of those conventions” Nat said with a grin

“Yeah the old I definitely wouldn’t but I have to admit going there with him was a fun time didn’t know he kept a picture in his math book.” Tony said laughing

“He probably likes that reminder of what a fun day when he’s bored in math.” Nat said smiling

“I guess so god id be lost without that kid” tony said putting the picture away

“I know you would so I hope you can forgive me” Nat said smiling

“Yeah you’re forgiven for now, plus I know the kid has been asking about you on occasion so I bet he like seeing you around again.” Tony said laughing

“Where is the kid now?” Nat asked

“He was hanging with his friends Ned and MJ I think movies or something, he messaged me before I came up here that he be home in a hour so probably like 15 minutes or so now” tony said glancing at his watch

Natasha grinned at the mention of MJ “Oh I can’t wait to see him again” she said grinning

Not even 15 minutes later peter walked off the elevator and saw his dad and black widow talking.

“Auntie Tasha!” peter exclaimed as he ran over and gave her a huge hug.

“Hey Pete I take it you missed me?” Nat said grinning

“Yeah but with everything I wasn’t sure” peter said quietly looking at tony

“Pete were good were friends again me and Nat are at least the others are TBD. You and your friends eat or are you hungry?”  Tony asked

“I’m starved, Tasha will you have dinner with us?”  Peter begged

“Sure bud whatever you want” Nat said laughing

“Dad order Chinese food please” peter said with a grin

“Aye, Aye Captain” tony said laughing. He stood up pulling his phone out of his pocket started walking to the kitchen to place the order.

Natasha noticed they were alone so decided to take advantage of it.

“So Pete what were you and you friends doing today?”  Nat asked

“We went to see the new star wars movie” peter answered

“I bet you enjoyed that what your friends think?” Nat asked

“Ned was over the moon he liked it more than me I think MJ I’m not really sure what she thought of it she’s not really into star wars much but she came because I invited her.” peter replied blushing slightly

Natasha grinned

“Well sounds like you had fun peter I have a question for you”

“Shoot”

“So you like your friend MJ?” Nat said grinning

Peter cheeks turned red

“What are you talking about Tasha?”

Natasha picked up Math book and turned to where Ned was writing him notes

Peter sighed

“She’s just a friend Tasha nothing more I mean it” peter pleaded obviously embarrassed

“ you sure from this he comparing her to some other girl you had a crush on apparently saying he catches you watch her, sounds like a crush to me” Nat gave a smile

Peter sighed in defeat

“Yeah I think I like her more than a friend but there’s no way she likes me and I don’t want to risk our friendship just to be turned down.” Peter said quietly

“Pete she won’t turn you down, you want to know how I know. The movie she went because you peter asked her, you said it yourself she doesn’t like star wars yet she still went because she wanted to spend time with you. So Pete if you ask I guarantee shell says yes” Nat said with a warm smile

“Thanks Tasha for the advice I’ll try asking her next time I see her” peter said smiling

“I’m always here for you Pete and another advice try to pick a first date she like you hang around her a lot you should know” Nat said smiling

“She likes reading and arts a lot” peter replied

“try asking her to go to a museum or gallery I know she’s smart like you” Nat said smiling

“That a good idea thanks Tasha” peter said pulling her into another hug

“please don’t tell dad about this he embarrass me this next century god when I told him about liking Liz he tried giving me the talk god i’ve never wished I had a different parent until then” peter said laughing.

“You secret is safe with me” Nat said smiling

Tony walked in not long later saying the food should be there within 10 minutes. He noticed peter look like he just finished saying something.

“Did I interrupt a lively discussion?” tony said smirking

“Nope peter was just telling me about his movie” Nat answered

“Oh ok I believe it kid can talk hours about star wars” tony said sitting next to peter

“I do not” peter denied

“Pete vie timed you in the past do you want to ask FRIDAY or you want to take my word for it?” tony said chuckling

Peter shrugged in defeat and glanced over at Natasha who gave him a wink.

[deliverydefresas]

masters of the scene

I know this is super shocking bc this is probs the soonest (?) ive posted between parts lmao 

I did want to hurry things up before saturday, tho, so here we have it, friendsss. if you’ve missed a part: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

AU: Matteo Balsano is a famous singer who has been crushing on this one girl he saw every day behind a window many years ago, back when he first started recording his debut album and inspired his first big hit, “Princesa”. Luna Valente, professional Olympic skater turned actress is at a local (and very popular) talk show to promote her breakout movie. This is where it all starts.

BREAKING: OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALLIST SAYS GOODBYE TO SKATING 

SOL BENSON, 24, recently known for her role as skating legend Marissa Mint in “SHATTERED WINGS”, announced this morning she wouldn’t return to training, or to any competition as a participant again. The announcement was posted on all her social media accounts, reading: “I can proudly say it’s time. Today, a new chapter in my life begins. I’m officially retiring from professional skating.”

Benson also took the chance to thanks her fans, saying: “The last ten years have been an unforgettable experience. A lifetime wouldn’t be enough to thank everyone who has been by my side helping, supporting, and cheering on me on this journey. I’ve done everything I could and wanted, and I hope you’re all as proud of me as I am of myself and the accomplishments we’ve done. I love you all very much.” The now ex-skater didn’t specify why she was leaving, but she affirmed it wasn’t anything but a personal choice: “I know many of you are shocked, or confused as to why I’m doing this now, that’s the reason I want to point out it’s not because of my health or a change of careers, as I know some might be thinking. Simply, this is me acknowledging my heart’s desires.”

Opinions and critics were instantaneous from the fans.

@ Sol_Benson: Thank you. pic.tw.com/3747829

          @ solnation: @ Sol_Benson please tell me this is an early april fools joke I’m crying

          @ sol_fan73937: @ Sol_Benson THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANT, THIS IS NOT WHAT I PLANNED, AND I JUST WANT TO SAY I DO NOT UNDERSTAND

          @ SolMiReina56: @ Sol_Benson on one hand I’m happy you’re doing this in your terms but on the other I just want to scream whAT THE FORK BENSON

Benson’s famous friends, however, showed nothing but support for her.

@ Simon_RB: today the sun goes down and the moon rises! So proud of you @ Sol_Benson

@ JimM: Working with you, one of the greatest skaters of our time, was a privilege. Being your friend, and share all these memories, is an honor. Your talent will shine bright like your soul no matter what ♥ @ Sol_Benson  

@ TheAmbarSmith: An absolute star. @ Sol_Benson

The news broke amid rumors of the skating star dating Italian heartthrob, Matteo Balsano, leading some fans and theorist that her new relationship was linked to her decision.

@ SolecitoDeMadrugada: I don’t wanna start sh*t here, folks, but Sol said she’s acknowledging ‘her heart’s desires’…. What if Balsano convinced her to quit????

@ SolBonita: If Matteo Balsano had anything to do with this I will cut that bitch in half just sayin’

@ soltteoforever: omg what if sol quit to form a duet with matteo???!!! #relationshipgoals

@ elbalsanito: if y’all really think MATTEO BALSANO would make his two minute long girlfriend quit her career for him y’all are batsh*t crazy don’t even look at me

So far Benson and her team have offered no comment to the critics, choosing silence over explanations, and only time will tell what she’s planned for herself next.

Is this really her end in skating? Will she approach a musical career with her beau? For more Sol Benson, click here!

He was a coward.

And an idiot.

An idiotic coward, really, because he hung up on her as fast as his brain and hand could do it. He could’ve lied, told her it was only a guessing. Or he could’ve come clean about his stalker-ish ways and freak her out. Or come clean and skip the stalker-ish ways. But, no, he’d hung up and now when she saw him she’d demand an explanation and probably give him crap for hanging up on her and then creating a lame excuse as to why.

Because so far, he could only come up with his phone dying in that exact moment and him forgetting to call her back. For two weeks.

Again, an idiotic coward he was.  

“Are you listening to me, Matteo?” he’d been lost in his thoughts again, unsurprisingly. It was something he’d been repeating lately, and usually blamed it on him ‘mentally’ writing his songs. Sometimes, it was the truth; but most of the time it was an excuse to get Gastón and his mom off his back. Today was Delfi’s turn at enduring this lost lapse. “Matteo! This is a serious matter, you dick!” he’d laugh at the insult if it weren’t for her aggravated look. He was used to the annoyed, yet knowing look of his friend and his birther, but Delfi looked nothing but stressed. “Can you focus on what I’m telling you?”

Matteo threw her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Delfi. I was just-”

“I don’t even want to hear it! I just need to listen to me and tell me what the fuck is happening between you and Sol Benson!” Well, shit. She was even cursing now.

“What do you mean?” he asked, genuinely confused now. Delfi knew better than anyone that he wasn’t dating, and even if he was, she never cared about it before. His manager sighed exasperated, throwing a newspaper across the table, pointing to him to read it.

The sole headline was enough to make his blood run cold.

“Read it till the end.”

“She’s retiring?” Matteo couldn’t believe it. A million questions came to his head as he read the article, ‘why’ being the loudest. “I just- what?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care about her, Matteo.” She sighed again, passing her fingers through her head. “What I do care about is that they’re mentioning you as the responsible.” Delfi raised her hand when he opened his mouth to protest. “I know you aren’t. And I’d like to think a woman like her is strong enough to not let an idiot like you convince her to give up her career. However, this is bad because you’ll be crossed as a chauvinistic pig, and could seriously hurt the image the older fans have of you. We need to counterattack, fast, and I need you to tell me just exactly how close you are to Sol.”

“What for?” He was getting defensive, and Delfi could tell so, too. She softened her look.

“This is not about you being a heartthrob, Matt. This is about people judging you wrongly-”

“Are you listening to yourself? They already judge me wrongly!” Delfi pursed her lips.

“Okay, bad wording. Still, we can’t let them think you’re that kind of person either.”

“Can’t you talk to Gastón about it? Maybe he can-”

“We agreed to break the contract with most of the magazines and the heartthrob stories, but you can’t just sue someone for linking you as someone’s boyfriend. If this was an article solely about you, we could make an agreement with them but since it’s about her-”

Matteo frowned. “Can’t you talk about it with her team? You said you knew them, maybe you can work on something together-” Now she looked offended.

“What do you think I’m doing? This is why I citied you here, we’re meeting them in ten minutes to discuss it! And first I needed your stupid ass to explain your situation to me so we could have some ground but all you’ve done is daydream about God knows what!”

“Wait, what?!” he looked down at his sweatpants, and the semi-sweated t-shirt he’d worn to go to gym before the meeting, and he just knew his hair was a dishevel mess. He hadn’t even bothered with his contacts, so his glasses were stuck on his head unless he wanted to be as blind as a mole. He’d thought he’d only be meeting Delfi, and now- “she’s not coming, is she?”

“Who is ‘she’?” Delfi air-quoted, not getting why he was getting freaked out.

“Luna – Sol, she isn’t coming, right?”

Delfi scoffed. “Of course, she is! This is all about her, why wouldn’t she be here?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he almost whined, jumping out of his chair to get his gym bag, and spray the shit out of his deodorant on his body. He didn’t have any hair gel, so his hair had to stay the same. He was really regretting not taking the time to fully showering before coming.

“Oh, so now you care about how you look at meetings?” He didn’t answer her, still busy with his gym bag. He was sure he had mints buried somewhere. “I take that you like this girl?” Matteo said nothing, but nodded the slightest. “I know the rumors aren’t true right now, but I really need you to tell me if you think they will. The earliest Gastón and I can come up with counterattacks to protect your privacy and hers, the better. Especially since her contract with her team will drop soon.” Delfi asked, her tone a lot softer and less teasing. She’d taken his wishes seriously, and he was very grateful about it. He was in good hands if shit ever hit the fan.

Matteo dropped his bag, and sighed a quiet ‘yes’. And then turned to her, louder this time, “I don’t want anything hurtful, insulting or degrading to be said about her. The less she’s mentioned, the better. If it means we must re-sign with them, and have them write me off as a playboy, then so be it. But not a bad word about her, Delfi.”  

She smiled, her words comforting him a little. “If it’s in my hands both of you will be protected. Now, go tame your hair before your little star runs away from seeing it and turns into stone, medusa-boy.”

She was this close to picking up her phone.

The urge of checking her phone was eating her up but Luna was trying her best to avoid any type of interaction with social media in the last two nights, but it was proving to be harder than she imagined. After the news were out in the open she’d turned everything off; her phone, laptop, and tablet, burying them deep in one of Nina’s photography drawers so she wouldn’t be tempted to read her fan’s comments, or the articles magazines and newspapers were publishing on the web.

When her team called her early in the morning for a meeting, though, she knew something else had happened. They’d already discussed everything related to her retirement, and weren’t meant for another meeting for another three weeks, when she’d sign the remaining papers to break most of her commitments and contracts, with only the bigger ones left until she could find another lawyer outside of her management. Not that she didn’t trust them, but Mariano was more a “making business only” instead of “breaking business” type of lawyer.

“Still no news from Tamara?” She asked Nina beside her. Nina shook her head.

“She said she’d be meeting us there, to ask for Alzamendi and to not talk until Mariano and she were present.”

“Alzamendi?” She repeated, “does that sound familiar to you?”

“I think I might have an idea.” Nina admitted. Luna looked expectantly at her, urging her to tell her. “Pedro’s girlfriend, Delfina Alzamendi, is a head manager here.”

She frowned. “But she’s in the entertainment business, not in sports. Why would she cite us here?” Her eyes widened, “you don’t think…”

Nina shook her head rapidly. “No, no, no. Tamara’s better than that, she knows you don’t want to enter acting, she wouldn’t do that to you. I was thinking more that maybe one of Delfina’s clients could be involved.”

“But why would Ámbar contact me vía my manager? She has our house number, and Simón’s and yours.” Nina looked at her funny, confusing her. “What?”

“I’m not talking about Ámbar, L. I think this is about Matteo.”

His name made her scowl. She still hadn’t forgiven him for hanging up on her without an explanation, or a goodbye, and the guy had sent her to voice mail after she tried calling him back.

“He has my number too.” Not that he cared to use it again. Boys were stupid.

By now Nina looked amused, but grimaced after a moment. “You haven’t seen it, have you?”

“Seen what?”

Nina took her phone out of her purse, typed in her code and opened her phone’s browser. She was about to protest when she saw her type ‘sol benson matteo balsano’, but was quietened when Nina clicked on an article about Matteo being the reason she was retiring from skating.

“This. It started the morning you posted the news on Twitter and a fan replied saying you meant Matteo when you said you were following your heart. I think that’s why Delfina wants to talk to you and Tamara, because Matteo wasn’t left in the best position. People are crossing him as a controlling chauvinist.”

Luna was feeling dizzy. She had meant for the news to affect her only, but now she was dragging Matteo too. “People are saying this?”

“Mostly your fans, and uninvited activists, but yes.”

“He must hate me now, Nina.” She groaned, hiding her face with her hands. By now they were almost by the entrance desk, and a few of the people there stared her way.

“He couldn’t even if he tried, Luna, don’t worry.” Her friend cooed, squeezing her hand in comfort.

“His manager contacted mine, Nina. People don’t do that unless they’re strangers or you hate the other person.”

“I think you’re exaggerating a bit.”

“He at least has to be mad. If anyone said I’m the reason they’re quitting their career I’d be too.”

“Maybe, but not mad at you. The people saying this are mostly gossipers and fans you have no control over, Luna, don’t worry.” She nodded a couple times, trying to calm herself and the unnecessary guilt she was feeling in that moment.

When she finally felt calm enough, she dragged her feet to the lady behind the desk, asking her politely where she was supposed to go. The lady’s eyes shone with recognition, before asking her who she was meeting with; as soon as she said ‘Alzamendi’, the woman’s grin could have rivaled the Cheshire cat.

“Miss Alzamendi and Mr. Balsano are waiting in room 7. Go straight that hallway and turn left on the first corner, it should be easy to spot it, the numbers are big enough; they’re still waiting for Mr. Périda, and your team, though. Is there anything I can get you both to drink? We have black coffee – black, decaf, with milk, vanilla latte and moka, tea – chamomile, green, lemon ginger and berry sangria, hot chocolate – sweet, bitter, Spanish, Mexican, white and raw, lemonades – strawberry, mango and mint, sodas-”

Luna blinked a couple times, surprised that a) they had so many options and b) they made their receptionist learn all of them.

“Uh, do you have water?” Nina asked, interrupting the woman before she went on to list all their available sodas. The receptionist shut up immediately, pursing her lips at Nina for a second before nodding, then she looked at her, expectantly.

“A Mexican hot chocolate would be nice, thank you.”

“Anything to eat? We have a couple of restaurants delivered to us, if you’re hungry.” Before she could refuse, Tamara’s voice was heard behind them.

“Luna!” She smiled politely at her manager, nodding in greeting to Mariano. “I’ll have a latte and the sir will have black coffee, no sugar, please.” The older woman addressed the receptionist, who simply wrote it down on a little notepad. Tamara didn’t bother to thank her before she was dragging Luna – and Nina, who was grabbing her hand- towards the hallway the lady had pointed out before. “Okay, so; Matteo Balsano’s manager called me yesterday and requested to have a meeting as soon as we possibly could, that’s why I called you last minute, sorry. Are you aware of the rumors going around of you two?” Luna begrudgingly nodded, “good, I don’t have to explain it, then. Alzamendi didn’t specify why she was requesting us, but my bet is on the news hurting Balsano’s image of the perfect guy.”

“That’s what Nina told me, too.” Tamara’s eyes flickered to Nina’s.

“Good.” That’s all she said before going back to explaining. “More likely than not, they’re pissed. It could be the boy, it could be his manager, it could be the label. Or a mix of all. We already broke all magazine deals, so there’s not much we can offer to clean his name. We’re betting on his team acting up and choosing to clean it up themselves, while praying they don’t leave you dirty at all. Mariano can make up an agreement with his lawyer to even out and make it fair for both.”

“Do you think Matteo’s capable of going as far as dirtying up Luna’s name?” She could tell Nina was worried, and already feeling protective of her. Tamara shook her head.

“He doesn’t strike me as the type, but we need to be prepared for the worst-case scenario.” She told them honestly, finally stopped walking in front of a door. Before they entered, though, she looked at Luna straight on. “Listen, munchkin, when you enter that door you need to forget whatever relationship you have with the guy.” She was about to protest, but Tamara shook her head. “Just until we know where we stand. And who we stand against, okay?” She merely nodded. “Good. Are we ready?”

Matteo was sure those had been the longest – yet quickest, because he spent most of them rushing to make himself more presentable- ten minutes of his life.

The door opened, and the corner of his mouth went up at the knowing he’d see her in seconds. When she didn’t acknowledge him, the smile fell. When she sat down on one of the chairs and kept her eyes on the table, he frowned.

Was she mad at him, at the situation they were in? Was she sad? What if it hadn’t been her decision? Could that be why she looked so… not herself?

He was about to go to her when Delfi stopped him. Matteo looked at her, questioning why she’d done it, but she sent him a look that said ‘quiet’.  

“Delfina,” the woman – who was part of Luna’s team, if his guess was correct- greeted his manager, a tight smile on her face. Then she turned to him. “Mr. Balsano, nice to meet you.”

Delfi sent her a polite smile. “Tamara, Mariano, it’s always nice to see you again.” He could’ve sworn he heard the man say, ‘is it?’ under his breath. “Miss Benson, Miss Simonetti, long time no see.” Wait, she knew them?

Luna looked up from the table, throwing a quick ‘hello’ to her; her eyes flickering for the shortest time to his face, before turning down again. His frown deepened as Nina’s friend answered Delfi’s greeting, more enthusiast. “Hi, Delfi, it’s good to see you again, too. I wish it were under, uh, better circumstances, though.”

He could tell Delfina was amused at her words, if her mouth twitch was any indication. “Straight to the point, huh? Sadly, we’re waiting for Matteo’s lawyer to get here first.”

“Why isn’t he here yet?” the man asked rudely, disdain clear as water on his face. Matteo felt attacked by his tone, and jumped at Gaston’s defense.

“I’m not his only client, sorry not all of us can afford to have a clear schedule twenty-four-seven.”

Mariano raised his brows. “Ah, yes, you’re right. Real jobs keep you busy. My bad.”

Matteo scowled at him. “How would you know? You’re jobless now that your client is quitting her not so ‘real’ job, no?”

“Matteo.” Delfina warned him in a hiss, pinching his arm to keep him quiet. He noticed Luna’s blank look turning into a small grimace.

Mariano was about to retort when Luna’s manager grabbed his arm. “Don’t.” Then she turned to Delfi, “I think’s it’s for the better to start discussing the elephant in the room, sweetheart. You can always update your lawyer when he comes.”

Delfi pursed her lips at the nickname, but stood up with a nod. “Fine. I don’t think I have to explain why we’re here exactly.”

“You understand this is not Miss Benson’s fault, right? This was a matter taken out of context by their fans and the media.” The man’s tone wasn’t exactly condescending, but even Matteo felt like he was trying to teach Delfi how to do her job.

Still, Delfi remained as calm as she could. “We do, as I’m sure you understand your client’s choices shouldn’t taint my client’s image, no?”

“He’s as tainted as you can get them. Aren’t ‘playboy’, ‘heartthrob’, and ‘ladies man’ nice ways of saying man-whore?” Matteo heard small gasps around him, but he was too shocked at the insult to notice whose gasps were from. Mariano looked smug. “If anything, he is the reason they assume conclusions. If your client didn’t have the image he has, our client wouldn’t have linked to him in the first place.”

That was enough for his friend to snap. “If your client had been properly trained to do interviews without making a mess we wouldn’t be in this situation at all!”

“Those articles had died down until both your clients chose to approach ours at a public event knowing there would be photographers all over the place! How’s that for trained?”

“Enough, Mariano!” His partner shut him up. The woman had the decency of looking ashamed. Delfi and him, though? They were pissed. “I’m really sorry, guys. This is not at all what we came here for and I apologize for my-”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Tamara.” Delfi interrupted her, “he does.”

Mariano pursed his lips, but spit out the apology anyway. “I’m sorry for the way I behaved just now.” Matteo clenched his jaw, moving his gaze to Luna, who looked mad, too. At whom, though, he didn’t know.

“As you know, all our news deals are broken. We have no control, or stance to negotiate with them anymore. So-”

“So, you want us to fix it for you? Is that it? Why should we, after the stunt your team just pulled?” Matteo almost growled, his anger rolling in waves through his body.

Tamara grimaced. “I was hoping we could make an agreement. I know we-” she pointed to Mariano and herself, “-haven’t behaved as we should. But this isn’t about us only.” She looked at Luna, whose frown and pursed lips were more evident now than before.

At last, she fixated her eyes on his.

“I’m not asking you to do anything for me.”

Matteo sighed out, “Luna-”

“No. Listen, if your image-” she scowled at the word, “- is so important to you I can ask Jazmín or someone else to interview me and I’ll tell them the truth.” Matteo almost choked up. Where was she getting at?

“The truth?” Delfi repeated, expectant.

Luna’s friend looked worried, now. “Lu- Sol, please-”

She looked at him, her eyes not wavering for a moment. “Y’know, that you’re not the reason of my decision. I’m sure your fans will be shocked to hear you’re not the center of my universe.”

“Luna, plea-” Nina tried to gain her attention, but she still didn’t move her gaze from him.

“And I’m sure they’ll be glad to know we’re not dating, much less friends.”

Had he been punched? He felt himself getting his breath knocked out of him. He barely heard her friend warning her. “Luna, stop. This isn’t you talking.”  

“No, let her talk.” Matteo was proud he didn’t sound as hurt as he was feeling.

“Oh, so you’re talking to me now?” her sarcasm was throwing him off. Why was she mad about him not talking to her when she basically ignored him too? “Or do I have to wait another two weeks for you to answer me again?” Oh.

Oh.

“You’re mad abou-”

“Dude, no.” Was that…? When had Gastón arrived that he didn’t even notice? He felt his friend squeeze his shoulder, before palming it a couple times. “Don’t answer that, you’ll never win that argument.” He whispered, shaking his head in Luna’s direction. Then he turned to everyone in the room. “So, what did I miss?”

[himbowelsh]

Can I request headcanons? Luztoye, Webgott, Baberoe, Winnix, Speirton & when both or one of them quits smocking? How they cope and how they help each other?

Luz/Toye

oh god, these two would be disasters in totally different ways.

luz is a chainsmoker. that’s just the way he is. anything else would be weird, and kind of unluzish, so the very idea of quitting gives him big time anxiety.

it’s only when joe decides he’s gonna quit (joe, being a physically fit guy, isn’t wowed by what smoking is doing to his stamina) that george decides he has to do it as well.

he stands by joe, supporting him as much as possible, and making a point not to smoke around him. gradually, his own hypocrisy catches up to him; he feels terrible seeing joe suffering and knowing he’s not doing the same.

joe doesn’t handle withdrawal symptoms at all. he can’t sleep at all for the first few nights (and george stays up with him to keep him from breaking). he gets nervous, agitated, and blows up at george at the worst times.

only when he gets his temper back under control (after the first few days, when the symptoms aren’t as bad) he apologizes, and thanks george for being so supportive. “it really means a lot to me.”

george feels like he’s been punched in the face.

after that, he KNOWS he has to quit. so once joe has gone an entire month without smoking, he announces it too.

george has an even harder time than joe. he can’t hold still for more than a few minutes; his head feels like it’s splitting open; and he doesn’t sleep for sixty-seven hours.

when he starts crashing, joe is there. joe calms him down, not reacting even when george starts cursing at him for “talking me into doing this”. he forces him to lie down and rest against him, rocking him back and forth and singing in his deep voice until george finally gets to sleep.

he wakes up after sleeping an entire day away, and he feels a lot better. that’s when he knows he’s beat it.

(once they’re both nicotine-free for a month, george goes out and buys joe a cigarette-shapped cake to celebrate. he thinks it’s hilarious, even when joe smacks him)

((the cake is delicious.))

Webster/Liebgott

webster is 200% the guy who bemoans what a disgusting habit smoking is and how they should quit while he has a cigarette in his hands.

liebgott is very reluctant to quit, but with all the persistence of a dog terrified of fireworks, webster wheedles him into it.

liebgott gets nicotine patches – because he says webster will never be able to handle the stress of withdrawl, but the truth is he isn’t sure if he can do it.

they stay on the patch for about two weeks before webster is feeling great. his withdrawal symptoms have shrunk down to about nothing (not that he had many in the first place) and he no longer craves a cigarette. he’s so proud of himself that he convinces lieb they’re both ready to go off.

liebgott smokes again that afternoon.

“okay,” webster says calmly, in the dying embers of their massive blowout argument over the topic which culminated in the relationship equivalent of “IT”S MY LIFE, MOM.” “that’s fine. i’m happy if you don’t want to quit.”

“no you’re not.”

“yes i am.”

“you’re not.”

“i am.”

“you’re a goddamn liar, web.”

so liebgott starts his quitting journey again, cold turkey.

it’s… ugly. there’s no better word for it. there’s a lot of stress, a lot of screaming, and liebgott somehow breaks an entire table. it was an accident. neither one knows how it happened.

finally liebgott just slams webster against the wall and kisses him, and that’s how they get out their frustrations for those few days.

by the time liebgott finally crashes, webster is so exhausted that he goes down right along with him. the next day liebgott is chipper and teasing him. “why didn’t we try this before?”

(there are a few bumps in the road, but liebgott manages to kick the habit. web has never been prouder of him.)

Babe/Roe

gene knows how bad smoking is for you! he’s a doctor, okay, he gets it, and he needs everyone at work to stop giving him those loOKS

renee is the one to finally guilt him into it, and once she does he ropes babe into it as well because “no way am i suffering alone.”

they try three times, and every time one of them breaks. there’s just no winning. one of them admits defeat, and then the other follows them for a smoke break.

babe finally realizes that if they’re going to do this, they’ll have to do it one at a time – so he volunteers to be the sacrificial lion.

it is actual hell.

by the middle of the second day babe is anxious and twitching. everything stresses him out; he yells at bill and hangs up at him when the sound of the phone ringing irritates his headache. he even snaps at the dog, which is something he never does (babe lets their dog get away with murder)

gene approaches it from a strictly clinical perspective. he knows all the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal and is convinced he can help babe through it with medicine as his guide.

that certainty shrivels and dies when babe’s shaky hands drop a glass in the kitchen, causing it to shatter, and he just starts crying.

gene has to reassure him that it’s okay, bundling him up and sitting on the couch to watch babe’s favorite comfort films as they wait it out.

he stays depressed for a few more days, and it kills gene to see his normally sunny boyfriend like that.

then babe is finally through the storm, and he is THRILLED with himself.

“you gotta do it too gene, come on, you’re gonna get though it like I did… you’ll be better than me, you handle things way better, come on…”

babe is unprepared to handle a nicotine-deprived gene,

it’s like gene without his coffee in the morning, only WORSE. this gene is closed off, testy, and snaps at babe over the stupidest things. he doesn’t mean to – and he apologizes a few minutes later – but it still hurts.

babe takes his eyes off gene for a few minutes and finds him fumbling with a cigarette pack.

“i can’t do it, babe. i can’t, i’m sorry, i tried –”

babe does the first thing he can think of – he traps gene in a bear hug.

gene can’t move, he can’t light a cigarette, and babe is content doing this for three entire days if he has to.

it’s only when gene finally drops the cigarette pack that babe lets go and looks him in the eye.

“do you want to do this?”

“yeah.”

“do you really want to do this?”

“yeah, babe, i do. i really do.”

“then…” leaving the cigarette box on the floor (he’ll throw it away later) babe guides gene into the kitchen. instead of smoking, they cook together – it keeps gene occupied, and babe can keep an eye on him.

that becomes their new hobby, instead of smoking together. it’s a lot more productive.

Winters/Nixon

lol richard “real life captain america” winters smoking? yup, probably not.

however, nix smokes like an ancient car one minute away from giving out on the freeway, so of course he has to bear the full brunt of dick’s silent but poignant disapproval.

he’s the one who decides to quit, and brushes it off with some comment about, “seemed like it was time to change it up a bit. may as well put myself through hell while i’m at it.”

dick is THRILLED, and ready to support him in any way possible. he’s got water bottles, movies, puzzles, anything to keep nix’s brain occupied. he reads up on smoking symptoms, and is sure he can handle it.

nix is derisive about the whole thing until he actually DOES it.

it’s as hellish as he thought, and he can’t stand it. he doesn’t actually lose his temper at dick, but he is restless and irritable all night. finally he storms off for “some air” and dick is sure he’s lost his will.

he comes back past midnight, shoulders slumped and frown deepset on his face. dick has waited up for him.

reassurances are on the tip of his tongue, promises that he can try again, that this isn’t the end – when nix looks up at him, and gives a close-lipped smile.

“i didn’t give in,” he says, and the pride in his voice is unmistakeable. “i didn’t, dick.”

they spend the rest of that night watching netflix and kissing each other until nix finally falls asleep. dick couldn’t be prouder of him if he tried, and he makes sure nix knows it.

Speirs/Lipton

i definitely think after lipton picks up smoking, he’d be eager to quit the habit as soon as possible.

for speirs it’s a bit harder, because he’s smoked for most of his life, so he’s kind of confused what he’d do without it.

so he sort of watches lipton kick the habit before deciding to do so himself.

it’s torture for speirs to see the love of his life (he’s referred to lipton as that more than once, because he’s shamelessly romantic like that) go through it. lipton is too stressed to get any work done for almost a week. he’s anxious, he has trouble sleeping, and towards the end of the week he’s so lethargic and depressed that speirs is genuinely worried about him.

but he comes out stronger than ever, and is so proud of himself that he delight is infectious.

the next week, speirs quits smoking.

he doesn’t lose his temper, and he doesn’t get nervous. he just… doesn’t sleep. for three days. he doesn’t stay still, he doesn’t stop moving. he deep-cleans the entire house. he cooks dinner for them, then for winter and nixon, then for kitty and harry, and goes out to deliver them all. he works out until he can barely walk. he cuts down a tree.

(its the dead tree in their backyard that they’ve been meaning to cut down for ages, but still.)

lipton is worried.

he eventually coaxes speirs into the bathroom with a request for help with the shower. a bath is already set by the time speirs gets there.

lipton is patient; he helps strip his boyfriend and settles down into the bath with him, allowing him to relax against his chest. he washes his hair, massages his aching muscles, all the while scattering light kisses along his neck.

by the time they get out, speirs is already half-asleep. lipton guides him to bed, where he collapses, and stays there for the rest of the night.

once they’ve finally quit, they’re so proud of themselves that they go out and join a gym together. speirs insists it will be their new “habit”; lipton isn’t thrilled about all the running, but is willing to go through it for his boyfriend’s sake.

[kizolmstories]

Lights, Camera, Action!

Kizo:Angel what are you doing in my house and in my shower?

Angel:Oh I just came by to see ya and give you one of my dvds Kizo:Angel’s web of fucking what is this a porno?

Angel:Yes but the main reason why I came here is to bring you to 666 news studio

Kizo:All right but how do we get back to hell?

Angel:Satan gave you powers to go to hell whenever you want ditto with me being dead and all.

Kizo thinks about a portal to hell “Huh neat”

Kizo:All right lets go. They walk into the portal

??? somewhere between space and time

???:Oh another one how delightful to keep me some company let me introduce myself I am Bierce

Kizo:What

Bierce:I can see all your fears, all your weaknesses and all the things you do at night~

Kizo:Oh hell no let the readers keep thinking I’m one pure boi,

Bierce:Fine but You wouldn’t want to keep your friend waiting.

Kizo goes into the portal that looked like it had Lucifer’s face on it.

Angel:Dude where you go I was worrying about never being able to go to the studios without and most importantly someone to embarrass.

Kizo:*in Johhny Gats voice*”What?

Angel:Come on man lets get going to 666 studios

Kizo and Angel starts walking towards the building doors and open them

 The demons give Kizo a death glare and start conversing among themselves.

 Kizo:The demons are giving me a funny look

Angel:Just ignore them they won’t bother you as long as I’m around. Kizo:Why did you want me to go down to hell again to bring me to a news station?

 Angel:You’re gonna love Katie so I’m showing her to ya.

Kizo:Sounds like a killjoy.

 Angel:Thats her name don’t wear it out.

 They walk into the studio

 Katie:GOD DAMN IT Adam can’t you do anything right, get me the that tux wearing bitch now!

 Kizo:Tux wearing bitch?

 Angel:Charlie she hates her alot.

 Kizo:No one insults best girl. he said jokingly

 Kizo:Hey blondie the one in the red shirt.

Katie:Who-

Kizo:Kizo the human at your service. *he brings out a tommygun*

Angel:Chill man you can’t kill her only I can you need specific weapons to kill a demon. Kizo:Doesn’t mean I can’t put bullets in her.

Katie:Who let this poor tortured soul in here!?

Kizo:I ain’t tortured I’m well and alive.

Katie:How you get here then? Kizo:Well how I got here was a satanic ritual at 3 am in the morning as a bet from my friend and then Lucifer’s fabulous ass gave me powers to go to hell don’t know if it means I’m damned though.

Adam:Shes here!

Charlie makes her entrance into the studio Charlie:Hey Kizo how you doing?

Kizo:Wassup! but I’m now dealing with a stuck up jerk here.

Katie:I can hear you little Sh-

Charlie:That’s good.

 Katie:Hey Bitch no one interrupts me on my show

 Charlie:*silence*

Kizo:I hate you Katie ever since I first laid my eyes on you I knew you were bad news and no one insults Charlie!

Katie:Well honey you aren’t the only one but I do wonder why you’re crying like a little bitch when I insulted your girlfriend.

Kizo:YOU FUCKING BITCH SHE ISN’T MY GIRLFRIEND! He puts the gun away and started charging at her.

Angel and charlie holds him back

Kizo:Let me at her.

Angel:No you’ll get killed

Kizo:How?

Charlie:She has a knife behind her back.

Kizo looks at Katie and notices the knife behind her back.

Kizo:Oh still let me at her.

Charlie and Angel brings him out the studio while he was screaming insults at Katie.

Katie:Fucking dick this is why I hate people hey Tom put your kick boxing gear on we’re sparing to take out my stress from that fucker.

Adam:Katie we have a show in 10 minutes

Katie:I don’t care.

And done oh boy I’m back from hiatus because I had no idea what to do with the next chapter then written it over a week with constant rewrites let me know in my ask what I can do better then I’ll respond but if I don’t just find my discord username Kizolunamoon#6582

PS:WHO THE hell is complaning about the animation change in the show cause I don’t see those complaints anywhere but if they’re in the youtube comment section thats why I stay out of the comment section. Maybe I’ll have smg4 characters appear in the next chapter and meme it up.

[nitrosparxx]

As I sit here, in the dark, 5:20am in the morning, contemplating what went wrong in my life, purposely looking at web articles that make me salty, only to satisfy my curiosity, and basically digging myself deeper into a pit of stress, regret and insecurity. As I sit here and break as I keep seeing terrible news after terrible news fly past my twitter feed. As I sit here, worried and paranoid that I’m just a hack with no artistic skill or talent, and as I sit here typing this ramble out in a lethargic/stressed induced haze that i’lll probably regret typing later on in the day...

I just want to take a moment and thank you to my friends who both support and aren’t afraid to bean me across the face with some truth if I’m acting like a dick head. I do thank you all for sticking with me, wondering if I’ll ever make another CQ or RQ track again, or when I release a new trackat all.I do thank you for following me any number of reasons and I do sincerely thank you all for the support and/or friendship you have given me over the years. 

[actual-corpse]

Causing trouble and pushing the envelope is like, my whole deal... I'm a piece of shit who loves to get in people's ear and be in control... To give you an exact degree of my ways I'll share a quote, "If I can be the guy just behind the guy in charge, that suits me just fine." -Porter Gage.. and this has literally been my business model until shit went south near the end of the 2019 Fall Semester... Before Corona ruined everything for everyone and actually helped me deliver a hard blow to the assholes who did me wrong (more on this later). I’m also incredibly petty and I tend to hold grudges.

Fun story for better context:

I like accolades. I like shiny medals and rewards... And I like recognition, but I don't like being the main man in charge. Another wonderful Porter Gage quote, "Sure as hell ain't gonna be me; leading outright ain't my style, and there's already some blamin' me for supporting Colter all this time (more on the Colter bit later)." And "My talents are best put to use helping a new Overboss get all this shit under control. You get me?"... 

So, I spent the 2019 Spring semester (2nd semester of freshman year) and the 2019 Fall semester (1st semester of Sophomore year) as a member of some type of student government... The university I go to doesn’t have ‘dorms’ it has “Residential Colleges” and in the Res Colleges there’s a government called the RCC and I spent those 2 semesters as Vice President... Well, I was getting my bearings and learning the ropes in spring but when Fall rolled around, I was ready to rock. See, every member of the RCC I was a part of left, except me and this other girl. The other girl was a complete pushover, so I mostly got what I wanted and I was actually the guy in charge.. I even tossed the whole RCC Constitution and rewrote it to suit my needs... Only to have it used as toilet paper (more on this later).

That didn’t last too long as I was on the campaign to finding a new President, hell, I wanted to run... But I was met with the first of many strange obstacles... This mysterious “they” that thought it would be best if I didn’t run because of some wild BS that made absolutely no sense, and I quote, “They don’t think it’d look good on us if you ran for president since you didn’t run last semester.” Wtf? Well, I didn’t run and instead, some new transfer girl came in as president... And I got my first taste of being the Porter...

People would listen to her, and she would listen to me... They didn’t want me in charge, but I still was... And I’m sure they didn’t like it, but fuck ‘em...

Well, everything went tits up for the assholes in Housing (the mysterious ‘They’ has a name and I know ‘They’ are from Housing because they thwart me at every turn) and especially for the College Head when the president resigned... She bit off more than she could chew and just couldn’t handle the stress so she moved back home to up north land... Now was my time for a hostile takeover!!! Remember when I said I rewrote the constitution to suit my needs? Well, every other RCC constitution had a clause where the VP would take over for the President until a new one was elected... Except, it didn’t happen... No, this mysterious “They” told the President to “appoint” someone... This, boiled my blood... Especially since they NEVER once told me why they were doing me dirty... Well, jokes on those assholes, I raised a fuss over this and it led them to vote... Too my my fucking older brother DIED that weekend so I obviously couldn’t show up to defend myself or get any reasoning as to WHY they were doing what they were.

Well, while I was out for the week, things went in my favor... Hilariously and very ironically, they voted that the girl appointed as Interim President should NOT be interim and that it should just instead, follow the Constitution... (It’s ironic because this girl had a chronic issue of projecting where she would discredit ANYONE looking for a higher position by saying, “It’s a very stressful job. Idk if they can handle it... Etc.” she couldn’t handle her own fucking job as RA, that’s why she quit after one semester)... ANYWAY

Well, time rolls on and I’m grooming someone for the position of president... Someone I thought I could trust... A very close friend who I thought I could “guide” from the sidelines... Well, just like Gage and Conner, shit went south and I just happen to die in the crossfire... You see, I helped this friend. I talked him up, I helped him campaign (not literally... I just helped him get his ideas off the ground like, I was behind him)... And I was ready to crown my scapegoat... Except, things didn’t go as I had planned...

No, when the next semester rolls around, I’m all geared up to lead the charge into a new presidency, I’m also spearheading a few other projects (more on this later) and so, I’m ready to be the Porter again.... Except, I’m not... See, the meeting after we vote for the new president, the college head says we need a new Secretary (the RA who quit was the previous secretary) and we needed a new VP... Except, I was the VP! No, instead this dick flop goes around the room and asks the Web Chair if she wants to keep her position (She says no and so Dick Flop hands it off to the first bitch who raises her hand) And then Dick Flop asks the Media Chair if she wants to keep her position (She says yes) and then he proceeds to act as tho I’m not even there and asks for nominations for secretary and VP!

 The first RCA (Residential College Association) meeting of the new semester that we go to, the guy I made president, completely ignores the fact that at the RCA meetings, our Res College, is a team, who works together to vote on things... He acts completely alone... He ignores me, and I get pissed off... Well, come his first RCC meeting where he’s president, he completely undermines my title and job (I had been demoted and he was walking all over everybody...and I became RCA rep... I was supposed to relay the information we got at the RCA meetings to the RCC... The Dickhead president does this instead... In fact, he did everyone’s jobs) This was not okay. I tried to let him know that this was not okay and since he ignored me, I kinda threw my phone down on the table in front of him (I had to sign a sign-in sheet), picked it back up and stormed out.

Well, I wasn’t the only one who hated this guy... It seems that everyone was angry over something... See, there was another RCA rep... She didn’t get to do her job, so she got mad. The RAs and RD had a weekly meeting after RCC and since President Dick liked to suck himself and the College Head off, the RCC meetings lasted an hour. I don’t know how many people knew I was backing President Dick, but I’m sure those that did know, were a little miffed at me for backing him... My mistake... Hilariously enough, I had planned yet another hostile takeover... Covid just kind of, got in my way and forced me to change direction... Oops.

About that second project... I was in charge of a few different things... I was kind of important, for without me, the group was lacking specific information and various other things... Well, the more important project was All Campus Sing (and here I just gave away what University I go to because as far as I know, only one Uni does ACS)... Well, I was our ACS rep and I was trying to get a team together... Just, nobody was cooperating with me and so it was hard to get the word out... Well, shortly after I was abruptly kicked from my VP position, I was also kicked from my ACS rep position (However, those fucking idiots neglected to come to me and ask if there was anything they need to know... They thought that all they had to do was say they were interested and they could show up... However, they just invoked the wrath of the ONLY person that had any know-how of what they were supposed to do... So whenever I got an ACS email... I deleted it... They never got signed up... There was an actual process to getting entered into the competition... And they knew nothing about it... They didn’t even know what they were doing) If it wasn’t Covid who ruined their ACS, then it would’ve been me [thanks Covid...] In fact, because there WAS no ACS this year, they just re-streamed last year’s ACS instead... The one where I was on the winning Res College team.

Another thing I was in charge of was getting together an Academic Team.. We kind of had one, I was just the one who let people know when and where the matches where... And I was also trying to get a team together for the tournament... Except, everyone was too flaky and wouldn’t give me a straight answer... So, there was no team.... And so, on the eve of the Tournament, the College Head kept bothering me asking if I had a team and all that jive... Well, at that moment, I was sitting in a Logan’s in Paducah, KY after visiting a sex shop with some friends and my good buddy Matthew told me to just block the College Head... So I did, I blocked his number... And on the next day, Tournament Day, I slept... Then I went and hung out with some friends, one of which was showing me photos on Instagram where they had the Tournament... And every Res College was there... Except ours... And we laughed and I’m sure the College Head was mad... But I wouldn’t know, I blocked him and proceeded to avoid him like the plague... Old bastard...

To end this wild tale of heartbreak and deceit, I’d like to say this; I’m moving into a different Res College and I’m still debating on whether or not I want to take control there... I need to find a way to get back at the assholes in my old RC (Res College)... Like, most of the RAs were mean and smarted off to residents and were very disrespectful, and also the RCC that somehow became an exclusive club of ass-kissers and know-it-alls... I mean, yeah, I had my run of the place, but I can get that anywhere... It’s just my deal....

I also bend the ears of many people... In fact, I managed to pursuade a couple of my friends to move RCs with me (I only chose the one I did because I was chasing dick [shame on me I know...]... But I was gonna move regardless)... I am The Mastermind and I intend to have my run of the place in the new building.

This post was supposed to be about how I’m covertly coming out to my mom by pushing the envelope and asking her if I could get top surgery (on the basis of just not having to deal with breasts) or if I could have a Hysto (because periods amirite?) and also just how I have the awful habit of persuading people, mostly through some kind of manipulation, to do what I want....

It’s all about the Charisma, and my Charisma stat is maxed out...

Call me all the bad names you want to... Just know that I typically treat people right until they turn on me or hurt me in some way... Or, I mess with people in a harmless way and usually try to push for an outcome that helps everyone... Not just me... I use these tools for good! Not evil... Usually.... If there’s something I can gain from it, I’ll fight for it... Again, call me dirty names... I’m tired of being the nice guy doormat... This world’s made me into a selfish asshole and I’m no longer sorry...

[marcusssanderson]

50 Optimistic Quotes To Crush Negativity

Our latest collection of optimistic quotes to help you see the bright side. These quotes about optimism will help you live a positive life.

Do you consider yourself optimistic? Is it easy for you to stay positive?

We decided to search the web and find some of our favorite optimistic quotes that can lift your spirits and elevate your perspective.

We believe that being optimistic is imperative for happiness and essential for a high quality of life. No matter how tough the day is, no matter how frustrated or stressed out we are, keeping an optimistic state of mind is a non-negotiable.

Below you’ll find our collection of inspirational, wise, and optimistic quotes, optimistic sayings, and optimistic proverbs, collected from a variety of sources over the years. Enjoy!

Optimistic Quotes To Push Your Thinking

1.) “And imagine acquiring a new language and only learning the words to describe a wonderful world, refusing to know the words for a bleak one and in doing so linguistically shaping the world that you inhabit.” ― Rosamund Lupton

2.) “A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.”― George Bernard Shaw

3.) “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”― Winston S. Churchill

4.) “Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.”― Arundhati Roy

5.) “Be fanatically positive and militantly optimistic. If something is not to your liking, change your liking.”― Rick Steves

6.) “TO BE HOPEFUL in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.” ― Howard Zinn

Optimistic Quotes About Mindset

7.) “Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.”― Dalai Lama XIV

8.) “Expect the best, prepare for the worst.”― Muhammad Ali Jinnah

9.) “For myself I am an optimist – it does not seem to be much use to be anything else.” ― Winston S. Churchill

10.) “I am so far from being a pessimist…on the contrary, in spite of my scars, I am tickled to death at life.”― Eugene O’Neill

11.) “Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.

Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in. Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.

This new day is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the yesterdays.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Optimistic Quotes About Being Positive

12.) “Another way to be prepared is to think negatively. Yes, I’m a great optimist. but, when trying to make a decision, I often think of the worst case scenario. I call it ‘the eaten by wolves factor.’ If I do something, what’s the most terrible thing that could happen? Would I be eaten by wolves? One thing that makes it possible to be an optimist, is if you have a contingency plan for when all hell breaks loose. There are a lot of things I don’t worry about, because I have a plan in place if they do.” ― Randy Pausch

13.) “I meant to write about death, only life came breaking in as usual”― Virginia Woolf

14.) “Perpetual Optimism is a Force Multiplier.” ― Colin Powell

15.) “If you think this Universe is bad, you should see some of the others.”― Philip K. Dick

16.) “I’m a pessimist because of intelligence, but an optimist because of will.”― Antonio Gramsci

17.) “The optimist lives on the peninsula of infinite possibilities; the pessimist is stranded on the island of perpetual indecision.”  ― William Arthur Ward

18.) “In this hour, I do not believe that any darkness will endure.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien

19.) “Pessimism never won any battle.”  ― Dwight D. Eisenhower

20.) “Life has no remote….get up and change it yourself!”― Mark A. Cooper

21.) “My optimism wears heavy boots and is loud.”― Henry Rollins

22.) “One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.”― Lucille Ball

23.) “Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so.”― Noam Chomsky

24.) “Optimism,” said Cacambo, “What is that?” “Alas!” replied Candide, “It is the obstinacy of maintaining that everything is best when it is worst.”― Voltaire

25.) “Pessimists are usually right and optimists are usually wrong but all the great changes have been accomplished by optimists.”― Thomas L. Friedman

26.) “Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.”― Alphonse Karr

27.) “The longest way must have its close – the gloomiest night will wear on to a morning.”― Harriet Beecher Stowe

28.) “The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it he knows too little.” ― Mark Twain

29.) “There is some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.”― J.R.R. Tolkien

30.) “there’s no harm in hoping for the best as long as you’re prepared for the worst.”― Stephen King

31.) “Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

32.) “You have this ability to find beauty in weird places.”― Kamila Shamsie

Optimistic quotes to elevate your state of mind

33.) “For myself I am an optimist – it does not seem to be much use to be anything else.”– Winston Churchill

33.) “What is hope but a feeling of optimism, a thought that says things will improve, it won’t always be bleak [and] there’s a way to rise above the present circumstances.” ―Wayne W. Dyer

34.) “Optimism doesn’t wait on facts. It deals with prospects.” ―Norman Cousins

35.) “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” ― Oscar Wilde

36.) “Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable.”– Voltaire

37.) “It is the hopeful, buoyant, cheerful attitude of mind that wins. Optimism is a success builder; pessimism an achievement killer.” – Orison Swett Marden

38.) “I am an optimist. Anyone interested in the future has to be otherwise he would simply shoot himself.”– Arthur C. Clarke

39.) “When you have vision it affects your attitude. Your attitude is optimistic rather than pessimistic.”– Charles R. Swindoll

40.) “Optimism means better than reality; pessimism means worse than reality. I’m a realist.” – Margaret Atwood

Other uplifting optimistic quotes

41.) “”When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

42.) “Success is not how high you have climbed, but how you make a positive difference to the world.” ― Roy T. Bennett

43.) “Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.” ―Martin Luther

44.) “Optimism is the foundation of courage.” – Nicholas M. Butler

45.) “I try to think about optimism. I try to look at the beautiful things in life.” – Dolores O’Riordan

46.) “Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.” – Christine Caine

47.) “The optimist looks at the horizon and sees an opportunity; the pessimist peers into the distance and fears a problem.” – William Arthur Ward

48.) “I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” – Jimmy Dean

49.) “Be more optimistic. Pessimism is a kind of behavior that you learn . Hoping for the best and believing that everything is going to be fine in the end helps to reduce stress.” – David Brown

50.) “To the question whether I am a pessimist or an optimist, I answer that my knowledge is pessimistic, but my willing and hoping are optimistic.” – Albert Schweitzer

Tali Sharot: The optimism bias

How did you find these optimistic quotes?

Becoming more optimistic can help you change your life and achieve your goals. Optimism can empower you to overcome your challenges and strive for success and happiness.

Due to the ups and downs of life, it can be tough to remain positive at certain times. During such times, a reminder that things will get better might be all you need. So hopefully, these quotes about optimism have elevated your state of mind and encouraged you to always hope for the best in life; regardless of circumstance.

Did you enjoy these optimistic quotes? Which of the quotes was your favorite? Tell us in the comment section below. Also, take a second to Like and Share!

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