#and seeing how the other characters sound and if pratt tries at ALL

[snowyfrostshadows]

Tomorrow’s too soon to be forcing me to make this decision Nintendo

[xxcherrycherixx]

Can we talk about how disappointing both the other raptor handlers are compared to the handler in chaos theory?

Like owen and soyona are nowhere near as powerful as her when it comes to the control of the raptors. Owen's ones literally tried to kill him and the special one who is meant to care about him still tries to fucking kill him occasionally! (I mean understandable, chris pratt has a very killable face)

Soyona is meant to be all about breeding them to be loyal- yet the atrociraptors have to use lasers and audio to attack? What? they likely dont even like her- we never see her interact with them, shes always far away from them which makes me believe she has barely any control of them- she has to use recorded raptor calls to even call them, they arent coming to her, theyre coming to what they think is another raptor.

Now the handler- that woman is everything those two wish they were. The only character in the entire franchise to have an actual bond with a carnivore. Actually, not just one carnivore- but atleast THREE of the fuckers. To make it even funnier- its the exact same group of atrociraptors that soyona fails to have any sort of bond with! The atrociraptors have no need for recorded raptor sounds or lasers- they follow simple whistle command, and not evwn just commands for attack, no they also respond to commands to retreat and follow.

But guess what, it gets crazier. Because not only do they follow commands- they are shown to actually like their handler. They arent just following commands because they hve been trianed to like with owen and soyona, they follow the commands because they actively see the handler as their leader and part of the family. They alert her to things, they surround her protectively from threats, they show fucking actual affection to her. They will let her pet them and hold their faces, allow her to rub her face against their own- scratch that they enjoy when she presses her face against theirs and even cuddles into the touch!

basically, how the fuck am i meant to think of owen or soyona as great raptor trainers, when theres a woman who actually has full control over her raptors? How am i meant to find soyona an intimidating villain when theres another woman who does a much better job than her at using the atrociraptors as loyal hunting dogs?

[seventeendeer]

I'll admit that Chris Pratt as Mario was the one part of the trailer that didn't work for me, but everything else really did have quality to it. Jack Black had the perfect balance of threatening Bowser and campy Bowser, the animation was exactly what I'd hope a Mario movie would look like, and it's clear there's a lot of passion in the project, to the point where they even incorporated Mario creatures that aren't as well-known and mainstream. I don't think it deserves being entirely ragged on just thanks to one lackluster part.

I’m afraid I have to disagree! Chris Pratt Mario is easy to rag on because it’s exactly as awful as predicted and ties into an existing awful trend in current animated movies (also Chris Pratt sucks as a person), but I also think it's just ... the most obvious symptom of an issue strewn all throughout the trailer.

It lacks soul. Sure, the character models are up to the industry standard and the color work is very good and there’s nothing immediately artistically offensive about it, but it’s just so lackluster. The characters’ lines and body language are completely to-the-point, have no individuality or spunk, no flavor. There’s no word play, no slang (made up or real), no distinct speech patterns. All the characters’ lines sound like they came directly out of 11 other movies from the last decade. The body language accomplishes getting across some very basic emotions, but again, everyone moves the same, there’s no sauce on there, it’s just “character is scared,” “character is excited,” “character is surprised.” Bowser’s character acting while talking is also very awkward and janky (reminder that Hotel Transylvania, a similarly badly written but EXTREMELY well-animated CGI movie came out TEN YEARS AGO).

On the subject of Bowser, I also think Jack Black was a very poor choice for him. Yeah, he can do the voice rumble, but it has no depth, no reverberation. It’s generic.

It’s not just Chris Pratt Mario that sounds flat and lifeless, even though he is definitely the worst offender - everyone, from Toad to Luigi to the penguin guys at the beginning, all literally just sound like Some Guy.

Which becomes a problem when “tiny cute cartoon animal sounds like a grown human being” was supposed to be a joke at the beginning! The joke doesn’t land when every other character sounds like that and it’s not meant to be funny!

This being another problem. It’s not funny or has an interesting plot teased? They tried to crack some jokes, but they were regurgitating common cartoon gags that were done to death a decade ago. It was some Ice Age 4 style comedy. And with the generic plot threads introduced, the trailer really had nothing going for it except “please come look at our movie, it has some nice special effects!”

As for using lesser-known Mario characters ... I’m sorry to say, but that’s a really common marketing tactic for this era of big franchise movies. A really basic, generic plot front and center so newcomers to the franchise can keep up with the plot, with these little nuggets of “remember this obscure guy or thing?!” for longtime fans to point at and go “oh yes I remember that guy or thing!!” It isn’t evidence of passion, it’s evidence of the creators knowing how nerd fandom operates and taking advantage of people’s sincere affection for their favorite stories.

I love bad movies and I don’t fault anyone for being excited about the Mario movie, but it’s disheartening to see people hyping up these soulless cash grabs just because franchise movie creators have caught onto which levers to pull to make fans swallow their garbage without complaining too much.

It was the same thing with the Sonic movies. They have basically nothing to do with the Sonic franchise, even the main character is completely divorced from the thematic context he was born out of, but tons of people love it just because it’s superficially “heartwarming” and more or less manages to dodge some of the obvious problems of other family films in the same genre.

Again, I’m not saying no one’s allowed to like these movies. But how anyone can look at the Mario trailer or the Sonic movies and call them good adaptions ... is beyond me.

The Mario and Sonic games’ stories aren’t good because there’s a guy named Mario in overalls and a blue hedgehog named Sonic who save the day in each their silly little way, they’re good because of their unique themes and ideas. Mario’s story is appealing because it’s quirky, energized, full of weird places and weird people that are nothing like any big blockbuster movie. Sonic’s story is all about environmentalism and anti-capitalism! Sonic stands for a green future! These traits are the heart and soul of the franchises these movies are trying to adapt, it’s what makes them good, but mainstream movie producers don’t care about any of that. They just put the funny-looking guy on the screen, try not to piss off any parents or long-time fans too much, then wait for money to start rolling in.

Besides, Mario’s only two defining character traits are “Italian” and “plumber,” and I do think it says a lot that even getting those two things right was too much effort for Illumination. The sheer balls it takes to look at a massive franchise like Mario and decide to change 50% of the most recognizable traits of its main character are astounding. Maybe it would be stupid to trash the movie over a single miscast voice ... but when it’s the main character? When said miscasting takes away one of his two character traits? That’s not nitpicking, that’s identifying an underlying problem with the production process, that is, a lack of interest in the very franchise they’re trying to adapt.

Nintendo has more money than god. They should be able to get a hold of an animation studio that can do more than just make pretty special effects and look up obscure characters on a fan wiki.

I don’t want a Mario movie that’s more or less non-offensive, I want a Mario movie that’s good. I want a Mario movie that understands the property it’s adapting. We have got to stop patting big blockbuster movies on the back for doing the bare minimum.

[actually-autisticc]

My thoughts on the Super Mario Movie

My autistic ass needs someone to talk to about this film and I have nobody. I know I don’t post as often anymore on here but I need to let this energy out. Here’s what did work and didn’t work

What did work:

the animation: DAMN. It looked amazing. I loved how smooth they looked on screen and the details of the character models, the background, etc. You can tell they put a lot of love into it. It felt so nice to see our favorite video game characters on screen like this. All of the references were such a joy to find and recognize. It’s also crazy that Mario came from being an 8bit model to this glorious, detailed, 3D model. And some scenes “camera” moved in a way that would be in a game. When Mario and Luigi were on their way to their first plumbing job, the “camera” moved sideways as the first Mario games were side-scrolling. When Toad and Mario were heading to the castle and poor Mario was being thrown around, the “camera” moved around like I guess the newer games? I mean it looked like Super Mario Odyssey but there could be other games, I haven’t played every single one (now I want to). Really cool attention to detail. My autistic ass loves attention to detail. The models looked good as well like Bowser’s scales and the brothers’ clothing. Funny how 3D animation wasn’t as detailed before like with Veggietales and Toy Story 1 but now we have HAIR. You get it.

The music: Some parts hit, some didn’t. I loved the orchestral remixes of our beloved songs. When the kart scene came on, I immediately recognized the music and felt PUMPED, especially when they were making the karts and I heard the Mario Kart 8 theme. I wanted to jump out of my seat but couldn’t cause I didn’t wanna be weird. Hearing the theme songs as well felt satisfying. It scratched that itch I didn’t know I needed to be scratched. I found myself listening to the soundtrack right after. I’m glad they chose 80’s songs rather than fucking Doja Cat or whatever but it still threw me off hearing Take On Me, Holding Out for a Hero, and Mr. Blue Sky. (Cmon Shrek did Holding Out better. No topping it) As much as I love those songs, I remembered that this is an Illumination movie so of course they’d have popular songs. If they left the pop songs in the human world and kept the Mario songs in the Mushroom kingdom, etc, it would’ve made a little more sense. No Sleep til Brooklyn was good tho, made sense cause they live in Brooklyn and they were in the human world.

Chris Pratt: Yes, I know everyone was skeptical of Chris Pratt playing Mario. I love Chris in Guardians of the Galaxy as Peter Quill so I didn’t have much doubt but since he is a celebrity and you know how movies these days (mainly Illumination) love to get big names in their films. I wasn’t disappointed. He was good, not bad. As much as I love Martinet’s iconic Mario, I don’t think I’d be able to handle hearing it the whole time. It’s iconic but let’s be real hearing “let’s-a-go!” the whole time is a bit jarring. Mario’s from Brooklyn so that’s what Chris tried. And his Wahoo! was good! You knew he didn’t want to ruin this character because of how much it holds. He TRIED. And Martinet as Giuseppe saying “it’s a perfect!” Felt like he was sharing the torch with Chris. He squished all the critics doubts by saying “he’s Mario too, it’s fine. Deal with it.” Hearing the voice made me smile so wide, it was like hearing an old friend. I think he even said that doing Mario’s voice too much hurt so we don’t want him to feel any pain for our sake! We all owe Chris an apology. You did great bro

Seth Rogan: I love DK. He’s big, loud, goofy, and strong. Seth did that right and honestly idk who else would play him. Hearing Seth’s iconic laugh made me laugh, idk who can hate it. It fit DK as it kind of…sounded ape-like? The whole fight between Mario and DK was straight out of a game. I loved the interaction between DK and Mario. They’re enemies at first but soon, they respect each other as in the games. I wish that wasn’t the whole character development between two characters in the movie, I wish it was Mario & Luigi, Mario and toad, or Mario and Peach. Hell, even Mario and Bowser. But this is only the first movie so we’ll see more

Anna-Taylor Joy: not much to say about her. I think Peach was fun and I’m glad they didn’t go the “damsel in distress” or “girl boss” route. We get it, we’re becoming SOMEWHAT better in terms of shit like that but god we don’t need it every time. Peach was a badass, she cared for her kingdom and subjects, and she was sweet. That’s Peach! It wasn’t the “I don’t need no man” or forced relationship with Mario and that was good. I loved Peach’s racing outfit too and all the power ups. Peach was awesome, I’m glad they didn’t ruin her

Charlie Day: I haven’t seen much of him but wow I loved his Luigi! I always loved Luigi, he was always the b guy and he deserves a lot of love. He’s adorable. I wish Luigi had more of an interaction with Bowser. We could’ve gotten a lot of funny scenes with them together (of course it’d be fuel to the shipping fire) and it was cut too short. I mean, bowser didn’t need MUCH from Luigi, he just needed information so it wouldn’t make sense why he’d keep him around when he could throw him in the dungeon with Luma, the penguins, etc. And the whole thing with Mario and Luigi “sticking together” was nice but…they weren’t together AS much? Yes, Bowser kidnapped him but idk it didn’t really feel so emotional. Their team up at the end was amazing of course, had the biggest smile with the star music on. Luigi must be protected

Keegan-Michael Key: His Toad was good! Kind of wished we saw more of Toad and Mario together but he was the comic relief. Sucked he wasn’t in it as much but maybe next movie.

Jack Black: MY MAN. GOD HE KILLED IT. Was that any surprise? No, everyone knew Jack was gonna bring his a-game and he did. Bowser’s singing was amazing, I was cracking up during that scene. PEACHES PEACHES PEACHES aah it’s good. I loved how Bowser went from his usual scary self to a big sweetheart who just wants to love someone. Yea, he did threaten to kill Peach’s kingdom if she didn’t marry him but hey he said he wouldn’t if she agreed! You can absolutely tell Jack loved his role and that’s so important in movies for it to turn out well. Honestly, I’d say Bowser was my favorite in the whole movie! (Ngl, Bowser kinda..) Bowser was intimidating at parts, especially with Luigi. He was a lot scarier than I remembered and damn he is a power house. Im surprised that I didn’t see him utilize his shell and spin with it but whatever.

The story: yes there wasn’t much of a big plot. Do I care? Not really. It’s Mario! You don’t really need a plot per se because you already know the characters, you know the concept of Super Mario. To me, it was as if I was playing a really well animated game. It was fast, fun, and left me with a warm fuzzy feeling. The plot WAS Bowser coming, Mario and Luigi starting a company and not feeling like they’re on top. You don’t need a different story with Mario. Yes, this movie wasn’t on the level of Into the Spider-Verse or Puss in Boots like we were expecting but it didn’t need to be. I had a great time with a story or not

The sound effects: god, the little kid in me wanted to SCREAM. It felt so satisfying to hear all the sounds we hear in the games from hitting a shell, hitting the mystery box, or landing on the flag pole at the end of a level. They really hit the nail with them. And Luigi’s ringtone was GameCube!!

Oh yeah I loved Kamek’s voice. He sounded exactly how I pictured it. He was great. Loved the scene of him dressing up as Peach and getting ANGRY that he didn’t kiss Bowser

What didn’t work:

The slow motion moments: this was when I remembered “oh yea, illumination made this.” Some of the moments were fine with Mario giving Peach a side eye (with rizz). That was funny. But all the other times, it felt like the screaming goats in Thor Love and Thunder. In other words, it was used too much. To me, the slow-motion parts are just “haha, their voice is deep and slow. They move slowly. Haha funny joke.”

The songs: I did say the songs worked but they didn’t at the same time. I LOVED hearing all the familiar songs and sounds from the games. I liked the 80’s songs as Mario was made in the 80’s but it didn’t fit movie. As I said, it would’ve been better if they kept the 80’s songs in the human world and the Mario-esque songs in the Mushroom Kingdom, etc. But Illumination has gotta…illuminate I guess

The pacing: I felt like it was TOO quick. They go from Mario ending up in the Mushroom Kingdom and he finds Toad with barely an introduction and they rush to the castle. Then Mario finds Peach who just so happens to be going to the same place at the right time. There wasn’t enough time to breathe and there could’ve been so many good character interactions and development if they made it longer. We could have had more of Bowser and Luigi, Mario and Toad and Peach. I mean there are lots of characters and they have yet to introduce Yoshi, the Koopalings, and Daisy so hopefully it will be better in the second.

Illumination: I’m not too crazy with this studio. I love Despicable Me 1&2 but the rest are just meh. There were moments in the movie that were just so like this studio that it somewhat felt weird. The plumbing scene was funny but I think that is a good example. The whole thing with the dog being malicious was an Illumination thing. So were some of the models of the humans. The songs. Idk. If this movie was made by another studio like Dreamworks or Sony, maybe it would’ve been better??

Overall, I’d give this movie a 7.5/10. It had great moments and a lot going for it but there is still room for improvement. And that’s completely okay because we still have another movie. We only saw these characters on screen for ONE movie so there’s still more to be seen. I say fuck the critics, they don’t know what they’re talking about. This movie didn’t need to be woke or whatever. It almost didn’t need a plot. This movie was such a beautiful love letter to all of the Nintendo fans and I was smiling the entire time. They knew not to make it flop because of how iconic and beloved Mario is. I felt like a little kid again as I watched my favorite video game characters on screen and now I feel the need to play my Wii or switch. I look forward to seeing what they do in the next film.

TLDR: go see it. It’s a lot of fun

Also LET ME VOICE YOSHI I CAN DO HIS VOICE. IM GOING TO BE ON A TEACHER’S SALARY IM GONNA BE BROKE

[stormethecat]

I saw the Mario movie yesterday and honestly it was really good! I give it like an 8/10.

Unfortunately I missed the first couple minutes or so of the movie because the theater was lined up with people, so it took a bit to actually get in haha. My friends and I all went dressed as Mario/Luigi too, which was awesome.

(spoilers under the cut)

tl;dr the Mario is very good and I want to see more

I was kind of expecting Chris Pratt's Mario to be not great, but surprisingly Fred Armisen's Cranky Kong was even worse. The only voice in the movie where I was like "wow this really doesn't fit." Now that I've seen the full movie rather than just the trailers I can tell that Chris Pratt at least tried. I still think that someone else probably would have fit better, but he wasn't horrible. Like even Charlie Day as Luigi and Seth Rogen as DK were pretty much just their regular voices, they still kinda fit somehow. Keagan-Michael Key's Toad and Kevin Michael Richardson's Kamek were spot on. Anya Taylor-Joy's Peach was serviceable—she sounds like a girl. And Jack Black's Bowser was freaking amazing. If I could tweak it a little bit to be pitched down slightly and maybe more growly then I think it would've been absolutely perfect, but as is I think he did a fantastic job. Charles Martinet as Giuseppe (basically Mario's design as Jump Man from the original Donkey Kong arcade game) was so great, and casting him as the Mario Bros' dad was a great choice.

The score was brilliantly done, the direction of having Koji Kondo as a composing consultant was an excellent choice, wouldn't have had it any other way. While I figured at least one pop song to show up, I think five has more than I was more than I was expecting. I'm not exactly bothered by it, but it was very noticeable haha. Also I wasn't expecting (yet not surprised) by the full on musical number that Bowser did performed by Jack Black. It was great lol, well done and got me to laugh. Also the DK rap was a welcome surprise, although Grant Kirkhope went uncredited which kinda sucks. Plus all the sound effects were great too.

The story wasn't intricate, and I keep hearing this as a complaint, but it's a Super Mario Bros. movie so idk what people were expecting on that front. It was a really fun ride from start to finish and I actually already want to watch it again. It's a great kid's movie and all the details, references, and easter eggs they put in for the fans of the series are greatly appreciated too. I wasn't expecting them to show so much of the Mario Bros' family or Peach's origins (which is to say not much, but I wasn't expecting any at all. And I also wasn't expecting them to show where the blue shells come from, so that's neat. I'm mildly disappointed at how large a chunk of the movie Luigi was captured. I understand they wanted someone to get captured because that's kind of Bowser's thing and they probably wanted Peach to shine on her own and do girl boss things, but I'm just disappointed that he was in a cage for like most of the movie.

The animation was also really well done if you were worried about that. I've seen some critics complain about that, but it almost feels like they watched a different movie as far as that point goes. The lighting was spectacular, the screen was almost always packed with detail, and the characters were expressive.

One last tiny gripe: Hearing the koopas being referred to as turtles more than once felt off to me. I know this complaint is such a nerdy one, but Nintendo has always gone out of their way to specifically call them koopas and not turtles. I usually only ever hear people call them turtles when it's someone who only vaguely knows about Mario. Having Mario call them turtles kinda makes sense since he's from Brooklyn transported to the Mushroom Kingdom, but Peach and even Bowser himself referred to them as turtles which was weird to me.

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #64

Brain Curds are lightly edited flash fiction - practically first drafts - posted daily and sometimes written with the express intention of being terrible… but, you know, in an endearing way. Please enjoy.

Disney’s The Girl Without Hands - Review

Why did they make this?

I’ve reviewed a lot of films in my day, but this one has to be the most baffling. After the middling reception to Wish, their previous feature, most hoped that Walt Disney Animation would take a step back and reorient themselves. If they don’t know how to get back to their roots, maybe they should try something new instead?

Sadly, that wasn’t the case here. Digging down to the bottom of the barrel, the studio decided now was a good time to make a musical adaptation of an obscure Grimm fairy tale about amputation. Despite the name of the story, the hand-less-ness is really just an incidental detail. It’s really a story about the devil trying to get a young girl to sin so he can take her soul, and when put that way it sounds like this could be a slam dunk. Maybe they could have come up with a different name to fit modern sensibilities - The Girl Without Evil, maybe, I don’t know. Their writers get paid a hell of a lot more than I do.

When you watch it, though, you’ll be forgiven for thinking not a single person working on this film so much as read a synopsis of the original story. There’s no devil, no climactic scene of the protagonist’s hands being cut off, nothing like that at all. She’s already hand-free when the lights fall in the theater. The opening song is called I Want To Have Hands. Yeesh. Yeesh and woof. Plus, it’s written by Lin-Manuel Miranda.

I’ll give them this: it sounds like a real musical number and not a pop song, but it’s just embarrassing. It’s an unending stream of jokes about how having hand stumps makes it really hard to work on a farm - like, the tools are meant for people to use with hands. She lists every single farm tool that she can’t use, and then tries to use a hoe with her mouth during the song. I wouldn’t even know the lyrics of that section if I hadn’t been given access to the demo version, recorded by Lin-Manuel himself. Suffice to say, they don’t improve things.

The villain of this film is another one of those twist villains, but you can see it coming from a mile away. Of course it’s her father, he has four hands. He made a deal with an evil wizard so he could do more farm work at once, and the wizard gave him his daughter’s hands so he could hold two tools at the same time. It’s complete nonsense, and accusations of Disney having used AI on the script are only far-fetched in that I don’t think an LLM could come up with something so deranged.

So, what about our protagonist? What’s her personality like? Essentially, she’s clumsy. That’s her whole character. She’s always trying to grab things but her arm stumps knock them over. How can a person go her whole life without hands and forget that she can’t grab a glass of goat milk from the table? She should know by now she needs to use a straw.

Anyway, her father arranges her to marry a wealthy aristocrat, but her heart belongs to a winemaker with no feet. I have to give Disney props here for decent wheelchair user representation, but the motorized scooter really pulls me out of the medieval era this is allegedly set in. Ditto for the talking cow, Hope, voiced by Chris Pratt in falsetto, who regularly talks about taking selfies and how hard it is to do that with hooves. Read the room, Hope, it’s even harder to do that with stumps.

At some point, the film just ends. She gets her hands back, sure, but none of the other plot points are resolved, so one might suppose that they thought, “well, she has hands now, so we should save the rest of this for the sequel.” I don’t think they’ll be making a sequel. But maybe the avant-garde crowd will appreciate a big-budget animated feature without a three-act structure. All I can tell you is that I decidedly did not.

The animation was lousy, the music middling, the plot contrived and nonsensical, and it made me yearn for a time when Home on the Range was the worst we could expect from Disney. The popcorn was the most enjoyable aspect of seeing this film… and it was stale.

4/10

⭐⭐⭐⭐

[jackiesarch]

come undone.

my half of a trade with the wonderful @red-nightskies! thank you so much for letting me write your sweet anna — it was a blast getting to know her!

word count: 3.7k

warnings: minor character death, canon typical violence, some language

summary: there’s whispers among the resistance that staci pratt is being held at the grandview hotel. anna reid thinks she knows who she can trust to help her free him.

This is the last safe moment: Anna stepping over the fresh corpse of a bat wielding Peggy, her chest heaving with exertion. Getting to the top floor of the Grandview Hotel unseen and unheard had been surprisingly easy. Even now, as she stands in front of the closed door of Room 306, she can’t help but be impressed by her own handiwork.

The oak panel in front of her is intimidating. She isn’t sure why. She’s checked every other room in this building, has moved through the halls and the staircases with such brutal efficiency that she should be pleased to be standing here, staring at what is undoubtedly the easiest part of this entire operation. But she isn’t. If anything, Anna finds she’s uneasy.

It feels too simple.

The Peggies have never made anything particularly easy for her. Sure, she can take down an outpost in her sleep these days or clear a roadblock in the blink of an eye, but Eden’s Gate rarely ever provides easy access to their special targets — to their leverage.

It’s part of why she’d gone to the Whitetails when the quiet whispers about Staci’s location had turned into real leads. Could she take down the guards and liberate her friend on her own? Maybe. Would she feel a hell of a lot better with an army waiting in the wings? Absolutely.

She stares at the door to the room again, her stomach twisting at what she might find behind it. Staci’s alive — that much she knows, that much a group of Eli’s scouts had been able to confirm. He’s alive, but who is he? Anna knows firsthand what Jacob does to people, knows the frantic, red-bathed horrors he puts people through to break them. Staci’s alive, but he may not be the man that flew them to Joseph’s compound all those weeks ago. It’s a thought that terrifies her.

He’ll be alright, Anna. It’s what Eli had said as he outlined the plan in the Wolf’s Den. A simple extraction mission: in-and-out, with backup waiting in the wings.

If he’s anythin’ like you, he’ll be alright. We’ll fix him up.

Slowly, Anna reaches for the doorknob, Eli’s words playing on repeat in her head. He’s right — Staci’s not beyond saving, not yet. They can fix him. Make him whole again.

She doesn’t trust easy, but she does trust Eli.

The cold metal of the handle makes her shiver as she twists it. There’s a click as the latch releases, and suddenly the door opens, creaking on its hinges as it swings into the room. All at once, she’s hit with the sickly, metallic smell of blood. It’s no wonder — the first things she notices are the smears of it on the wall, on the floor, on the discarded rags that litter the room.

The second thing she notices is Staci. He’s strapped to a chair in the middle of the room, bound by his wrists and ankles to the arms and legs of it. His head hangs heavy, chin resting against his chest like it might take all the strength left in his body to lift it in her direction. He doesn’t.

“Staci?” Anna says quietly, clearing the room with a quick glance. “Staci, it’s me.”

He doesn’t answer. Anna can only barely make out that he’s still breathing, and the movement is one that both comforts and scares her. She takes cautious steps into the room, reaching for the radio on her hip as she does.

“Eli—it’s me. I found him,” she says, finger gripping the transmit button on the radio so hard her whole hand shakes. “He’s alive. I’m getting him out. Send the Whitetails in to secure the lower floors. Anna out.”

If there’s a response, Anna doesn’t hear it. She finds herself standing in front of Staci without realizing she took the steps there, finds herself leaning down and grabbing his shoulder to shake him without consciously telling herself to do it.

“Hey,” she whispers, her grip on his shoulder tightening. Anna shakes him again, a little harder, in a desperate attempt to rouse him. “Staci, hey—“

Staci jolts so fast it makes her stumble backwards, heart suddenly thundering in her rib cage. His head flies up, his eyes wide and bloodshot, and Anna watches him gasp in a breath that it looks like he’s desperate for.

“Anna?” he croaks, eyes flitting back and forth between her in front of him and the room around them. “That really you?”

It takes a half-second longer for her to recover than she’d like. Anna scurries forward, slender fingers grasping at the restraints keeping him in place.

“Yeah, it’s me. It’s me. I’m getting you out of here.”

The bindings are tight, but she manages. First she frees his wrists, angry red marks dug into them with how tightly the straps had been pulled. His ankles come next, and Staci kicks his feet out a little before, with Anna’s help, he tries to stand. It’s not surprising that he’s weak, stumbling as he brings himself to full height. How long have they had him tied up there? How long has he been forced to sit?

She’s about to reach for her radio again, ready to tell Eli she’s on her way back to the Wolf’s Den, when the vague feeling of uneasiness from before returns with a vengeance. Anna looks around the room, frown pinching her face.

Something is wrong. The hotel feels too quiet, too safe. Why can’t she hear the Whitetails filtering in to secure the building?

And then it happens.

It feels like a slow-motion shot in an action movie. Staci opens his mouth to say something to her just as the only intact window in the room explodes, showering them with shards of broken glass. Half a second later, he crumples to the floor.

Anna’s breath leaves her lungs in a short, sharp burst. She knows better than to scream if they’re under attack, knows better than to draw all the attention to their position. Still, watching him go down like that, she has to say something.

“Staci?” Anna says, her voice unsteady as she stares down at his limp form. “Staci!”

He doesn’t respond. A pool of red forms under his skull and spreads out in a circle, inching towards her faster and faster like spilled paint on a dirty canvas.

Anna whirls around, eyes snapping in every direction as she reaches for her weapon. There’s no one in the room with them, no one in the hall, and no one down on the balcony below the window when she cranes her neck out to check. Off in the distance, she can swear she sees a glint of metal — a hunter? A Peggie with a sniper rifle? By the time she blinks, though, it’s gone, and Anna ducks her head back into the room, turns herself back towards where Staci lays. She takes a half-step forward, drawn to him as if he isn’t well beyond saving.

Then pain blossoms in her shoulder so suddenly she thinks she might be sick.

Anna stumbles back, her hand flying up to grasp at the place where sharp bursts of agony are starting to spider down into her chest, her arm, the very tips of her fingers. Liquid warmth spreads over her skin, and when she looks down, Anna finds her hand coated in her own blood. It seeps out of a ragged hole in her shoulder, and it finally registers with her that she’s been shot. Someone, somewhere in the mountains, has fired two precise shots off into Room 306 of the Grandview Hotel: one to hit Pratt, and the other meant for her.

The shock of the wound hits her all at once, sapping the strength from her muscles and forcing her to sink to her knees in the middle of the room. Anna just barely manages to brace herself as she hits the floor, her good shoulder sliding along the hardwood as she collapses onto her side.

Her thoughts are scattered, but the few cohesive ones left desperately trying to connect in a way that doesn’t quite add up. Who shot them? Why? It feels too convenient to be a well-timed accident, too ridiculous to be a case of mistaken identity.

Muffled footsteps in the hallway shatter her focus just as she’s about to consider the very obvious possibility that this is Jacob’s handiwork. Anna stills her ragged breathing as best she can and tries to listen as whoever is in the hall grows closer.

It’s hard to make out specifics with the doorway to her back. Forcing past the steady ache in her shoulder, Anna trains her ears and tries to catch the disjointed pieces of conversation.

“They’re both down,” she hears. It’s a man’s voice, a familiar one, and with her back to the doorway she struggles to remember his name. Briggs? “Pratt‘s dead. Deputy Reid...”

Briggs trails off suddenly. There’s a hissing, scratching noise — the sound of a radio transmission? — but Anna isn’t able to make out the response.

Help me!, she wants to scream. Help us! Her mouth opens to get Briggs’ attention, but nothing comes out. It’s as if the pain has stolen away her voice — her last chance at salvation.

“Right. We’re headin’ back,” Briggs says into his radio. There’s a pause, and Anna desperately tries to work out how to get his attention. “Tell Eli it’s done.”

The floorboards creak again. Footsteps sounds against the hardwood outside the room and fade away slowly, until all Anna can hear are the far away sounds of someone taking the stairs down to the second floor. There’s a distant shout; she can’t make out the words, not with the ringing in her ears, but it sounds like someone gearing up to leave the hotel.

Tell Eli it’s done.

Understanding hits her hard, like she’s been broadsided by an armoured truck. This hadn’t been Jacob and his lackeys at all. This wasn’t a well-planned take down by Eden’s Gate, wasn’t a terrible misunderstanding. Eli and the Whitetails had planned this.

She’s been betrayed.

Thoughts ping around Anna’s head. An in-and-out mission. Rescue Pratt. Escape unnoticed. A simple extraction job. How many times has she done something exactly like this? How many times has she liberated a captive Whitetail whose name and face she didn’t recognize?

How many chances have they had before this moment to take her out? Why wait this long?

The answer to her own question isn’t far out of reach. In fact, he’s sprawled out on the floor across from her.

Staci.

Better to kill two birds with one stone. Why waste time on a second covert mission when they could take down two of Jacob Seed’s most dangerous, involuntary weapons at once? It only makes tactical sense, she thinks. They were being proactive. Smart.

Vile. Heartless.

She doesn’t mean to look at Staci. She doesn’t mean for her gaze to linger on his cold, expressionless face, but it does, and she finds she can’t tear herself away. Anna more dead people than she has ever dreamed of, has watched the light leave so many pairs of eyes that she can no longer keep an accurate count. It’s the nature of the situation in Hope County — or at least, that’s what she tells herself to get by.

But this man was her friend. He was her friend, and he was kind, and now he’s dead; and it’s her fault. It’s the only thing Anna can think as she lays there, memorizing every line and every freckle of Staci’s face. She trusted Eli, trusted Tammy and Wheaty and all the other Whitetails.

She played servant when it was convenient for them, and Staci is dead because of it.

For a moment — a burning, bitter moment — she’s young again. There’s no electricity in the hotel, but that doesn’t stop the coloured glare of neon lights from registering in Anna’s mind.

She’s at the Grandview, she knows she’s at the Grandview. Every muscle in her body screams it to her as she tries to claw herself closer to Staci on the dirty floor. You’re here, she tells herself. You’re here, this is happening now, this isn’t then.

Her name is Anna Reid. She’s thirty years old. She’s been shot in the shoulder, and she’s bleeding out on the floor of the Grandview Hotel in Hope County, Montana.

Memories swirl in her head like funnel clouds. This is the Grandview Hotel, and she is dying here, but it doesn’t stop the images of the rundown gas station and its flashing neon sign from filling her mind.

Her name is Anna Reid. She’s nineteen years old. Her best friend has been shot, and she’s bleeding out on the concrete outside of a Shell station.

Anna squeezes her eyes shut against the onslaught of things she has tried so hard to forget. The images feel like they’re burned on the back of her eyelids, like she can’t escape them no matter how hard she tries to flee.

“No,” she gasps out, eyes flying open again. She’s met with Staci’s face, with the clean, dark circle on the centre of his forehead. “No, Claire—Staci, Staci, not Claire—”

A choked sob tears its way out of her chest. Her wounded shoulder has turned her arm to dead weight, and she can’t pull herself across the floor any further with just one hand; even the few inches she’s managed have turned her fingernails bloody and broken.

“I’m sorry,” Anna whispers, tears staining her cheeks. “Oh, fuck, I’m sorry.”

She doesn’t know who she’s apologizing to. Claire? Staci? Herself? All she knows is that the words come without her help, unbidden and spilling out of her like the blood spills from her shoulder.

My name is Anna Reid, she tells herself. I’m thirty. This is the Grandview Hotel in Hope County. I’m sorry.

It becomes a mantra, four sentences that she repeats over and over keep herself present. Anna forces herself to keep her eyes open, even if it means watching Staci’s body grow colder and colder — if she doesn’t, she thinks she might lose herself to the nightmare festering in her head.

Anna Reid. Thirty years old. Grandview Hotel. Anna. Thirty. Grandview.

Hours pass like that — or maybe it’s minutes, maybe seconds. Anna doesn’t know. All she knows is that the edges of her vision are starting to darken, that the blood pooling on the hardwood and soaking into discarded rags is no longer just Staci’s, but hers too.

Her shoulder feels dead. Heavy, too, as if the simple burden of having it attached to her might be what finally pulls her under, and part of her begs it to. She’s bone tired — the kind where every tiny movement feels like it’s being torn out of her, the kind where blinking is a burden and her battered body screams at her to rest. She’s tired of running, tired of fighting, tired of being hunted. She just wants this to be over and done with.

And then she hears the noise.

Creak.

For a moment, she thinks she’s imagined it. After all, she hadn’t raised hell getting inside the hotel — in fact, the plan had gone off without a hitch, quickly and quietly. The only ones who should know that she’s bleeding out on the cold floor of a dirty room are the people that put her there: the Whitetails.

Creak.

The noise comes a second time, louder, and this time Anna knows she hasn’t dreamed it up. Someone is outside of the room. One of Eli’s strays, come to finish her off? A friend-turned-foe with a pistol gripped tight and mercy on their mind?

Worse still, one of Jacob’s Chosen?

Whoever they are, they’re watching her. Anna can feel the stare on her back, burning the proverbial hole through her bloodstained clothes. The door is open, she knows, because she’s the one that left it that way.

The silence is deafening as Anna waits for them to make their move. She should be scared, she thinks. She should be paralyzed with the fear of imprisonment, of death, of whatever else might happen to her when the terror waiting in the doorway finally finds her.

Instead, she just feels numb. Nothing.

Agonizingly slowly, the steps grow closer, louder, until Anna can see the outline of a single steel-toe boot in the corner of her failing vision. They’re familiar, somehow, as if she’s seen those same boots before.

Where? Who?

The wearer takes another slow, measured step, until suddenly they’re consuming the whole frame of her vision. Until Staci’s body is nothing but an obscure, blurry background that her tired brain desperately tries to block out.

Anna can’t help it. Her focus drifts to the combat boots, to the old, cracked leather that’s stained dark with mud and darker still with something worse.

Some desperate part of her thinks she should move, thinks she should try to wrangle speech from the bottom of her dry throat. She doesn’t.

He speaks, and she and all she can do is listen.

“Wolves finally getcha, Dep?”

The boots were a clue, but there’s no mistaking the voice. It’s the strangest mix of rough and soft, an instant contradiction that matches the rest of him. And hasn’t he always been that way? Twisting her mind into something brutal and sharp with a song while he whispers praises into what feels like her soul? Withholding food with one hand while the other touches her with surprising gentleness?

If Jacob himself has come for her, then she’s finally facing the end.

The numbness is still there, choking the fear she knows she should feel as he nudges her in the ribs with the toe of his boot to see if she’s still alive. Anna barely reacts. She’s dizzy and heavy with blood loss, and even if she wanted to — well, she isn’t quite sure she could make her body do anything more than it is in this moment.

Jacob moves her around on the filthy floor like it’s easy. A push on the shoulder to get her onto her back, a steel-toe nudge to her good arm to get better access to her wounded upper half. It’s as if she’s a marionette being manipulated by its puppeteer, she thinks hazily.

No, not a marionette — the movement’s not quite that gentle. It’s as if she’s a rag doll in the hands of an over-eager child.

Suddenly, without warning, a bolt of white-hot pain streaks down her wounded arm, shoulder to fingertips. Anna has been hurt before — constantly, even, since she came to Hope County — but none of it compares to the burning, stabbing sensation she feels when Jacob crouches at her side, peeling the strap of her bloody tank top away and pressing his fingers against her bullet wound. She barely suppresses a shattered scream. The noise comes out as a high-pitched, broken whine instead, and for a minute, she’s almost positive she sees a flash of something sympathetic cross his face.

Anna thinks she should be furious with him. She thinks she should kick and scream and fight with all the strength she has left, should give him hell for making her suffering even worse.

Instead, she’s grateful.

Something about the pain splinters the blanket of numbness she’s felt since the moment the sniper’s bullets made impact. For the first time since she hit the ground, she feels.

“What’d I tell you, huh?” Jacob mutters, leaning back on the balls of his feet. Anna watches him wipe her blood on the ragged knee of his jeans. “Eli and his people. Cowards.”

Another pain stabs its way through her, but this time it doesn’t come from her injured shoulder. This time she feels it deep in her chest, a pang of betrayal that makes her hurt in an entirely new and unexpected way.

Cowards. A few months ago, she would’ve scoffed at that. A few months ago, she had scoffed at that. Now, she’s not so sure Jacob’s wrong.

There’s a shifting noise, the sound of crunching joints and slipping fabric, and the next thing Anna knows Jacob’s face is filling the frame of her vision. She strains her eyes, forcing herself to focus on him.

He watches her curiously. The steely blue gaze she’s used to is the somehow both the same as always and entirely different. It’s strange, Anna thinks — there’s a softness in the depths of his eyes. A fondness, even. This man, capable of such dangerous and depraved things, has looked at her and begin melting.

She doesn’t quite know what to do with that.

The blood loss makes it harder and harder to focus. Before she knows it, she’s following the lines of his face, tracing the roughness of scar tissue before her vision swims again.

Jacob is an enigma. He’s a cipher, a secret code she hasn’t been able to break. One moment, he’s twisting her consciousness and using it against her to make her a weapon, and the next? Well, the next moment, the cracks start to show themselves like ice before it crumbles.

Pain launches her out of her thoughts. Her tired body is being jostled, being scooped up like she weighs almost nothing, and it takes a few seconds for Anna to realize Jacob is carrying her. He’s warm, tempting to lean into, and so she does — her head sinks to the side, right against his chest.

“They’re not your friends, sweetheart,” Jacob rumbles, the sound coming more from inside him than it does from his mouth. “Makin’ you play servant girl? Leavin’ you to bleed out once you serve your purpose? Don’t sound like friends to me.”

She doesn’t have the strength to argue with him. All Anna can do is blink, eyes thick and heavy and desperate to shut so she can rest. Between flashes of her eyelids, she sees stairs, sees the tacky decoration in the hotel’s front lobby, sees the shape of Jacob’s truck in the distance.

“I’ll fix you up, honey. Get you back on your feet. Show you who your real friends are,” he muses, more to himself than to anyone else.

Her vision swims again, and this time she doesn’t have the strength to fight it. Anna feels herself go limp, sinking further into his arms, and welcomes the dark curl of unconsciousness into her mind.

“Thank you.”

The words are all she manages before she teeters off the edge into a heavy, consuming sleep.

[yourdailykitsch]

Do you know why Taylor is so closed off? I understand being a celebrity can be tough but seems like you only hear about him when he’s about to film something.

Answer: He just likes his privacy. He prides himself on keeping his private life private. I think it was an Elle feature that was done on him when the interviewer commented on how she couldn't find any dirt on him and he was like gleeful about it. He's the kind of celebrity we're not used to, the kind that is actually in it for the work and not the "celebrity" and instagram followers and clout. I actually think the celebrity of it all overwhelms him a bit. He mentioned that after FNL came onto Netflix he went to a Rangers game and the number of people that approached him was almost too much. He's appreciative of it, but I think he likes that he can go to LA or New York and do the media and press, red carpet for an event and that's it, then he can go be normal in Texas.

Ask #2: Who’s with Taylor in LA? Does Jennifer ever go on any of his movie sets? Does anyone know how long he will be shooting in LA?

Answer: His friend Kevin is there with him, I'd imagine acting as his PA this time around. Jennifer has gone to visit him on location in the past. Online sources say that production goes until August, I don't know if that means it's done by August or into August...but August is the answer.

Ask #3: 🚨TAYLOR WAS ON SET TODAY! 🚨Christ Pratt posted an Instagram story about him! No pictures accompanied but maybe this means they could? Who knows? But chris spoke highly of him which was nice to hear!

Answer: I know it kind of seemed like Chris and Taylor were just working together on set for the first time but I don't think that's true. There was an extra that mentioned that he'd been on set with Taylor/Chris a bit ago as well and it was an emotional scene. The extra mentioned how he needed to step up his game after seeing how both Chris and Taylor could go from so emotional on camera to laughing off. But it's nice that they're getting along and I love that Chris spoke highly of him. If they don't do the Murph together I'll be bummed.

Ask #4: What's Taylor's character in the Terminal list like? I've tried looking it up but the only description of Ben Edwards that I can find is "womanizer" 😂

Answer: That's kind of his depth in the book to be honest. I feel like his role will be expanded upon on the show but he's an ex Navy SEAL who is now in the CIA, kind of described as a beach bum now, not clean cut, in jeans and flip flops, womanizer...been married a few times. I don't want to say more without spoiling.

Ask #5 and #6: Do you think Taylor got his role in terminal list because of his role in 21 bridges? Is anyone from lone survivor working on terminal list?

Answer: It would not shock me if some of the guys that have worked with Taylor on both Lone Survivor and True Detective are there on set for The Terminal List as well. Do I think he got his role because of 21 Bridges? Or I guess American Assassin or Savages or Lone Survivor or any of his military based roles...I don't want to say he's being pigeon holed but he does seem to gravitate toward these roles and does well with them.

Ask #7: Having now read The Terminal List, I find this a strange project for Taylor. Not in the sense that it’s bad but his character doesn’t really do much. Like kind of just one note. I know for the show it may be rewritten (and hopefully is) so that he’s more prominent and important. I really wanna see him do something a bit different. I know he’s said he has some stuff in the pipeline but that was back in January right? Inferno and Pieces (if they ever happen) do sound a bit different whilst still being something familiar, but I’d love to see him do something he has NEVER done. Maybe something will be announced soon until then we’ll just have to hold our hope that the Terminal List is great !

Answer: This was my reaction after reading it. You could probably count the number of scenes he's in on one hand. I have to believe that his role will be expanded upon in the show or why would he do it? I don't want to think that this is what he's being reduced to and has to take because he's not being offered other roles. So I have to trust that he knows what he's doing. But like I mentioned in the last answer, he's being pigeon holed a bit here...he might want to try something different. Inferno would be a good start, just genre wise.

Ask #8: Have you noticed that celebrities that Taylor works with don’t follow him on Instagram. Do you reckon that don’t know he has it?

Answer: I think part of the issue is he's just not active on there, some people might not know he has it. Though Chris Pratt got the coveted Taylor follow on instagram. I mean Taylor wasn't even following Derek Phillips who he's closer with than anyone until this week...

Ask #9: Has jack carr said anything about Taylor?

Answer: He did do a podcast where he talked about being on The Terminal List set and how normal everyone was and that he and Taylor texted at some point that he was nice, but that was about it. The focus was more on Chris since he's the lead.

Ask #10: Is the Australian version of shadowplay mans version or American? Will the DVD be mans version when sold there?

Answer: I cannot give you a definitive answer for sure on this, but as SBS aired the original version and that's the only one that has been shown in Australia I have to imagine the DVD would be the original version.

[obsidianfr3sk]

The puppet of the sad eyes

Hi! I haven’t posted a one short in a really long time, have I? Jaskdbsj well, um... I had promised this fic to my mom @healing-winston-pratt a while ago, and since yesterday everyone was talking about Winston, I said to myself “this is a good moment to post the fic, Obsi”. So... here I am:’) 

Gosh, I feel akward. I swear I am not like this xjhksfdhds (who am I kiding, I’m just as akward as I seem) (reference not intended) It’s just that... like, there are another characters in the Renegades trilogy that hit me too close home, but Winston just hits me in a place that no other character has done before, and I wanted to write a little bit about him. I mean... not gonna lie, it’s a sad fic. But it has a happy ending! Angst-Fluff as they say in my village (? 

Two quick notes: First, trigger warning for mentions of sexual abuse. It’s nothing explicit, it’s just mentioned, but anyways, I want to warn that if anyone feels uncortable reading it, don’t worry, keep scrolling. Second, I tried to tag everyone who reblogged the post made by @chikuyi-hiro (fuck, I can’t tag them), the one where we all claimed to be part of the Winston Pratt defense squad (? I’m sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged sjkdfhskjddsj Also, um... tell me if you would like to be tagged in future works of mine. If everything works out, I will be posting two one-shorts this week (one halloween themed and the other will be my contribution to Osby October) so... if you want to see them or other fics like that, I can tag you:’) 

Well, Obsi, let them start reading, for fuck’s sake.

*le da el dibujito que hizo en el kinder* Hope you like it mom:’)

A03 link

Tag list: @nodrianbcyes @dawniebb  @alecjamesartino @everyone-has-a-nightmare @plain-jane-mclain @honey-harper-official @itsalittlebitchilly @novas-egg-beater @sanktaleksander and all the “Winston Pratt Defense Squad” (?

From the first day she appeared in his life, Winston realized that Nova gave him the creeps. He first thought it was because she was Ace Anarchy's niece, but no.

What gave him the creeps was that Nova didn’t sleep.

Leroy had told him not to comment on it. Winston didn't know if it was because he thought he was going to hurt the girl's feelings or if it was because he didn't want Ace to listen to him and take it as a personal insult. Winston didn't care either way, because it wasn't like he was going to shout it from the rooftops.

It was just an observation.

Nova gave him the creeps.

Maybe it was because sleeping was the best part of the day for him. He could disappear for a few hours into a deep, dark void. Get rid of any emotion he was feeling. No one was going to be able to hurt him, and if they did, he would never know.

Because when Winston slept, it was as if he didn't exist. It wasn’t like he could do it very often anyway.

Not only because now they had to live in a filthy, smelly tunnel. It was also because Winston hadn’t slept well for a long time.

He was lying on a piss-smelling mat Leroy had found in the trash. “If you don't want it, you're more than welcome to sleep on the floor,” he told him when Winston dared to mention that thing reeked.

Winston didn't want to sleep on the floor. If Honey could sleep on pissed mats, so could he.

His back itched.

The mat not only had piss on it, but apparently, it also had fleas. How nice.

He began to scratch his back, feeling like a freaking orangutan. Hettie looked at him critically, dozing from the little wooden bed he had so lovingly made for him.

“What are you looking at, bitch?” he asked.

Hettie crossed his arms and shook his head. In the cathedral, we wouldn’t be like this.

He kept scratching himself. “Sorry to call you bitch,” he mumbled. “You put me in a bad mood.”

I don't like you looking at me. I don't like you to analyze my every move. I don't like you watching me when I'm changing. I do not like you.

Then someone opened the door without knocking. Winston was about to shout “INGRID, GET OUT OF MY TENT” when he realized it was not Ingrid.

It was Nova.

Winston froze with his hand on his back. “Um... can I help you?”

It might be the first time he'd spoken to her directly, after that awkward moment during her second day at the cathedral, when Winston had tried to make conversation with her, and Ace had told him to stay away from Nova.

“I don't want you to do the same to her,” he had told him sternly.

Winston clenched his fists and clasped them against his chest.

It would never have occurred to him to use his powers on her.

But it seemed that Nova had taken to heart not speaking to Winston because indeed she did not speak to him the entire time they were in the cathedral. Before the Day of Triumph.

(What a stupid name for a day by the way.)

“Can I borrow a toy?” she asked in a small voice.

A toy. Nova wanted a toy.

“Ah. Yes, yes, yes…” Winston said, pulling the covers off (which also smelled like piss). “I… I have a lot of toys. Look.”

And he went to the second tent. Winston had to cower slightly to be able to move around there. Honey was always nagging him for his bad posture and he always told her it was the tent’s fault.

The last time that had happened, they were eating frozen pizza in a corner they had assigned for those kinds of times when they sat down together to gobble up leftovers.

“You can't blame inanimate objects for the rest of your life,” Honey exclaimed, losing her temper (for the eighth time that day).

At that moment, Winston felt his blood run cold. For the first time in his entire stay with the Anarchists, he wondered if they knew.

Do you see the marks of his hands on my body? Do you see me tremble at the slightest touch?

Do you see me behind the makeup?

The fear left as fast as it came. Ingrid threw a napkin at him and asked him (very unkindly) to pass her another slice, and Leroy pointed out to Honey that all objects were inanimate.

No one had noticed.

What a relief.

Watch me try it, Honey. Watch me try.

In that other tent, Winston had a pink toy kitchen. He had found it a couple of weeks ago in a garbage dump, and he had brought it to the tunnels by himself, despite complaints from his fellow anarchists. He was left speechless when he realized it was full of toy food and even a couple of blue plates and blue teacups. He spent the entire afternoon organizing his new kitchen, and he was not put off by Ingrid's constant teasing.

He had loved it. And he was sure Nova was going to love it too.

“Look,” he said, “I have everything here—” he lifted a light orange basket “—This is the little basket where I put the fruits, and this—” he pointed to a green basket “—it is the one with the vegetables. I even have a mini pumpkin, it's very cute.” He opened a compartment below the sink. “Here are the non-perishable items. Do you know what non-perishable means? It's... Look, I have a can of sardines. It's fake, of course. Do not try to open it, it’d break. Oh, also in the oven—” he opened the oven door “—I have some cookies, an apple pie, some croissants… it’s that how is pronounced?  Croissants . I don’t know, do you know? Is Artino a French or Italian surname?” Nova didn't reply. Had he offended her?  Shit . “Nova?”

He turned and realized that Nova hadn't followed him. He hurried back to the first tent and found Nova very comfortable sitting on the floor, playing with Hettie.

The puppet looked at her with demonic eyes.

No. Not her.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Winston yelled. “He's mine!” With one hand he snatched Hettie from her and with the other he squeezed the toy croissant. Nova was startled. “Don't touch him again! DO NOT PUT YOUR LITTLE HANDS ON HIM AGAIN, NOVA, OR I DO NOT RESPOND! DID YOU HEAR ME?!”

Nova started pouting, and with that, Winston snapped back to reality.

He looked at Hettie, lazily dangling in his right hand, looking up at him with a smile. His little eyes weren't demonic.

They were sad. Like Nova’s were at that moment.

He was saying , “Why don't you let me play with other kids, Winston? You never play with me anymore.”

I never played with you. Not since he did.

“Sorry...” he mumbled to Nova while putting the croissant in his pocket. “Damn, I'm sorry. Don't tell your uncle I yelled at you, please.”

Nova frowned a little. She looked more embarrassed than upset. “I just wanted to see it. He’s nice.”

Do you think so?

“Yes, but ... he was asleep,” he excused himself, putting Hettie back on his bed. “He doesn't like it when people wake him up. But I see that for you that is not a problem, huh?”

Nova lowered her head. “Sorry…”

“Nah. Do not worry. We are fine. Are we fine?”

Nova nodded quickly. The good thing was she wasn't going to tell her uncle. Ace would kill him if he found out.

It wasn't like Winston cared much if he died or not though. It was just that he didn't want Ace to kill him. It would be a bit embarrassing considering his current condition.

“Would you like to see a puppet show?” Winston asked her.

“Puppets?” She turned to see the wooden bed. “Puppets like him?”

“His name is Hettie.”

“Hettie,” Nova repeated.

Winston found it adorable.

“No, other types of puppets,” he replied. “Puppets I make with this—” he waved his hands in front of her face “—with my little hands.”

Nova wrinkled her nose and gently pushed his hands away, letting out a loud, joyous laugh.

It was the first time she seemed happy since the first day he saw her. How nice it was to hear a child laugh.

Children generally yelled when they were near him.

“I do,” Nova replied enthusiastically. “How will you do it?”

Winston settled down beside her. “Okay, we'll need a flashlight first… do you have a flashlight?”

Nova thought for a few moments. “Yes!”

"Well, go for it!" he exclaimed pointing into the distance as if he were a pirate. "Run, Novie, run!"

And Nova laughed again.

Her laughter echoed through the tunnels and in Winston's head.

He stared at Hettie, listening to Nova's feet pacing through the tunnel in search of the flashlight she mentioned. At one point, Leroy's voice interrupted the sound of her footsteps and asked her what she was doing (in a slightly gentler tone than he used to address the rest of the world) ( very  slightly gentler tone). Nova replied that Winston was going to do a puppet show for her.

“How?” Leroy asked.

Winston rolled his eyes.  How else, Leroy?

“With my little hands,” Winston whispered to himself.

And Nova responded as if she had heard him.

“With his little hands!”

It was such a large flashlight that Nova had to carry it with both hands. Winston moved quickly to take it, but she drew back as if assuring him that she could carry it by herself.

These modern women.

Nova pressed the power button. It did not turn on. She hit the lantern a few times until finally, a yellowish light illuminated the tent like a torch. Winston blinked many times to get used to the sudden change of light.

“You’d be a great engineer,” he stammered. Nova looked at him as if she didn't understand. “Forget it. Aim it over… there,” and pointed to the area of the tent that had a wall behind it.

She obeyed. Winston crawled closer to the stage and wiped the sweat and dirt from his hands on the patched pants he wore.

That sounded so stupid. Stage. It wasn’t like he was going to act or something.

He shot Nova a look. She was expectant.

And smiling. Truly smiling.

That made Winston smile too.

He made the first shadow. “What animal is this?” he asked.

“A moose!”

Another giggle.

Another shadow. “And this one?”

“An elephant!”

“Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen! And that was a difficult one!”

More giggles. More shadows. “For two hundred dollars more, Novie Artino, what is this animal?”

“It is easy!” she assured. “A goat!”

“Geez! You’re wrong!” Winston exclaimed. “It is not a goat! It's... Cyanide! Because he’s old and stubborn!”

He thought Nova wouldn't laugh. Cyanide was her favorite anarchist, and he knew it. However, that was the shadow that made her laugh the most. And the truth was Winston laughed even more.

“And wait, there’s more!” Winston went on. “Guess this one!”

Nova had a hand on her chin. “It's... it's a spider!”

“No! It's Phobia!”

“Because he’s ugly!” Nova laughed.

“He’s ugly indeed!”  What other shadow? What other shadow?  “And what about this one?”

“A duck!”

“What duck!” Winston laughed. “It's a swan!”

“It's Honey!” she screeched, pointing at the shadow with her finger.

“The one and only, Novie, the one and only!”

One more. A dog.

Nova immediately knew the answer. “Ingrid!”

“YES! BECAUSE SHE’S A TOTAL BITCH!”

At this point, both were laughing so hard they were almost out of breath.

If Leroy or any of the others had listened (which they surely had), Winston wouldn't mind at all if they got mad at him and ignored him for the rest of the week. They could pretend he didn't exist for the rest of his life and he wouldn't care. Seeing Nova happy made it all worth it.

Winston was happy too.

Nova wiped a small tear from her eye and looked at Hettie fondly. “Do you know what my mom did when I went to sleep?” she asked.

“What did she do?”

“She read me stories,” Nova replied. “She said that pretty stories would scare the nightmares away.”

Winston nodded. Probably someone had read stories to him when he was little, he just didn’t remember.

“Could you tell Hettie a story?” Nova begged. “Shadow puppets and everything. That way, he would have pretty dreams.”

Hettie? Dreams? Hettie couldn’t dream. And neither did Winston.

But he didn't want to ruin the mood.

“Of course.” He wiped the sweat on his pants. Again. “Let's see… Pay attention, Hettie. Your prettiest dream is about to start.”

He cleared his throat.

Pay attention, Hettie. Your worst nightmare is about to start.

“Once upon a time there was a rabbit,” Winston said, “that lived in the Land of Rabbits.” A rabbit shadow emerged from the corner of the stage. “The Land of Rabbits was… not a good place to live. There were eagles in the sky—” the eagle replaced the rabbit for a second “—that watched the rabbits, waiting for the first chance they got to eat them. So the rabbits had to hide in their tunnels.”

Nova stifled a comical gasp of astonishment.

“But there was this rabbit—”

“What was the rabbit’s name?”

Winston couldn't come up with a better name. “Hettie.”

Nova nodded in approval. “Did you hear, Hettie?” she asked the puppet. “You and the rabbit have the same name.”

You. You. It’s always you.

Everything always ends up being about you.

Fucking Hettie.

“Yeah, so Hettie was there. Being a rabbit.” Hettie Rabbit jumped happily throughout the light.

“He lived with Mama Rabbit and Papa Rabbit. They were the Rabbit family.”

“You say ‘rabbit’ a lot.”

Winston laughed, a little more tense than before.

Rabbit. Rabbit. Rabbit. Rabbit. Rabbit.

Hettie.

Fucking Hettie.

“But one day, Mama Rabbit and Papa Rabbit had to leave Hettie alone,” Winston continued. “And they left him with their friend…”

Hettie Rabbit became a hungry, violent, and heavy-breathing creature.

It became him .

“Their friend the wolf.”

Him. The wolf. The wolf. Him.

Hettie.

Winston sighed.  Fucking Hettie.

“So… so…”

So. So. So. So what happened?

Nova turned her head slightly. She had the same question.

Winston knew the Rabbit was a fucking idiot. What else happened to rabbits that entered the wolf's mouth? No one told that rabbit to go in there. But that rabbit had no other choice. He had nowhere else to go.

Or maybe he did have another place to go. If only he had been smarter…

“Um… Hey…”

If Hettie had been smarter, he would have warned Winston that when the wolves got too close, nothing good was going to happen to the rabbits.

But Hettie was a jerk.

Hettie. Hettie. Fucking Hettie.

“Winston!”

Her voice was like a needle that broke the bubble that enveloped him for a second.

“Novie?”

“What happened to Hettie?” she asked.

The mere question made his blood boil.

More shadows. The wolf, hungry and dangerous, on top of the rabbit, terrified and defenseless.

Nova was no longer smiling.

“Well, what happens to all rabbits,” he replied. “The wolf ate him. The end.”

The flashlight gave up and went off again.

Finally.

Winston turned to Nova. He didn't expect her to be happy. Winston certainly wasn't.

But he didn't expect to see her furious either.

“What a shitty story,” she spat.

“Excuse you?”

Nova stood up abruptly. Her turquoise pants were as dirty as his. “I said it was a shitty story. It isn’t like my mom’s stories.” She crossed her arms. “Do it again.”

“I won’t. I'm not going to tell another story,” Winston replied, standing up as well. “This is how it ends.” He walked over to her and put his finger on her chest. “El fin. The end. The end of all endings.”

“No!” Nova yelled as she clenched her fists and slammed her foot against the ground. “That is not the end!”

“I don’t care! It's my end!” Winston exclaimed imitating her. “Just like Hettie is my puppet! And I won't let you play with him!”

Nova's cheeks puffed out like a balloon. “Well, I'll play with him anyway!” she yelled, yanking Hettie off his bed. “You don't play with him! He feels alone! He told me!”

Winston tried to grab Hettie, but Nova pushed him away just in time.

It was a six-year-old girl versus a nineteen-year-old teenager. He could just kick her in the face and run.

But for some reason, he didn't do that. “Idiot!” he said taking Hettie’s arm. “Puppets don't talk!”

He tried to snatch it from her a second time. Nova grabbed his leg. “They talk to me!”

“It’s not true!” Winston insisted. “Liar! Liar, liar, pants on fire!”

Nova struggled too. “Your pants are on fire! You’re the liar!”

Hettie sided with Nova. You know that this is a very serious accusation, right? Why are you making up that kind of thing? Why are you lying to us, Winston?

Winston Pratt was many things. But he was not a liar.

He would never lie about that.

Why don’t you believe me? Why do you think I’m lying? I don’t want to make you suffer. Why would I want that? Only villains want to make people suffer.

Why would I be a villain?

Why would I be a liar?

He pulled Hettie toward him so hard, he ended up bringing Nova with him. She slammed into his chest and gave a slight groan.

Winston, not quite sure what he was doing, hugged her. He hugged her as he would have liked to be hugged.

When he told his parents the truth of his nightmares, his sleepless nights, and his constant fear, instead of covering him with kisses, hugs, and words of affection, they had called him a liar. Just like he had just called Nova.

He would never lie to them. Not about that.

Winston thought she would run away. He thought that she would also be terrified of any display of physical contact.

But Nova didn't. Nova hugged him too.

And Winston… Winston burst into tears.

Hysterically.

“Why are you crying?” Nova asked, worried.

“No, it's just... it's just...” he said between sobs. “It's just that I'm so sorry I made you angry.”

“I was not angry,” Nova corrected slightly defensively. “I panicked.”

That made him let out another sob. “Did I scared you?”

Nova clung to him tighter. “Yes. Your eyes changed.”

Winston sniffed with her purple jacket. “How?”

“They were... angry,” Nova explained. “Not sad. They didn't look like Hettie's.”

Winston separated from Nova. Hettie was crushed between the two of them. Despite the fight, he had remained intact.

Seeing him was like looking in a mirror.

Winston was not the puppeteer. He was a puppet.

It was Hettie’s fault. Winston’s fault.

Nova was looking at Hettie as well. She took him in her hands and caressed the buttons of the little suit with affection. Winston put his arm around Nova and gently shook her. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry,” Nova replied. “I won’t tell my uncle.”

Winston tried to laugh, but all that came out of his mouth was another sob. “Thank you for your kindness.”

Nova turned to see him. “Don’t cry. Stop it,” she ordered sternly.

He stopped crying. It was like… magic. 

You have balls, Novie. You have balls.

Her expression changed from annoyed to astonished. “Your makeup isn’t ruined.”

Winston stroked his cheek thoughtfully. “It’s… it’s not makeup.”

Nova reached out her hand and caressed it as well. “It's your face,” she whispered.

“It's my face,” he repeated.

She sat on his outstretched leg, looked away from him, and didn't let go of Hettie.

“Did the wolf really eat the rabbit?” she asked.

You and your damn rabbit.

“Really, really,” he replied.

Nova frowned sadly. “Poor little thing…”

“Poor little thing?” Winston snorted. “He deserved it.”

“Why?” Nova asked, very confused.

Why not? Why wouldn't he deserve it?

“Because… he shouldn’t be hanging out with wolves.”

And Nova turned to see him as if he had said the greatest nonsense in the world. She crossed her arms again, and very confident of herself, she said, “But the wolf shouldn’t be eating rabbits in the first place.”

Winston raised his eyebrows.

She was not an idiot.

But that was not how the world worked.

Nova returned her attention to Hettie.

Seeing her there, sitting on top of him, so helpless and confident, made him realize that he couldn't let something bad happen to her.

Not like others had let it happen to him.

“Nova,” he called her. Nova raised her gaze from the puppet. “If you ... if you ever meet a wolf, you have to tell me.”

“There are no wolves in the city,” she chuckled. “But if I do, I'll tell you.”

Winston chuckled too. “No, I mean... a wolf is not just an animal,” he explained. He scratched his back. He fucking hated bugs, really. “A wolf can be anyone who makes you feel bad. Has someone ever made you feel bad?”

Nova had to stop to think about it. Winston felt his heart beat faster.

Finally, she replied, “Honey once told me that I had a terrible accent and she couldn’t understand a word I was saying.”

He sighed in relief. Winston didn't know how he would have reacted if Nova...

If the same had happened to Nova.

“Okay, that's Honey being Honey,” he assured. “I mean... if someone... you know.”

Nova wrinkled her nose. Of course, she didn't know.

It was good that she didn't know, right? Or was it bad?

“Look, for example... We hugged a while ago, right?”

“Yes.”

“And I have my arm on your shoulder—” he raised his arm slightly. “—And you touched my cheek—” he held her fingers “—and right now you're sitting on my leg.”

He moved his leg in such a way that it made Nova jump slightly. “Yes,” she replied with a laugh.

“And is that okay with you?”

Nova nodded.

“I am glad. But if someone ever touches you or puts you in a situation where you are afraid, feel bad, or do not understand... run away. And you tell me, or your uncle, or Leroy, Honey… heck, even tell Phobia or Ingrid. But tell someone.” He put his hands on her shoulders, hoping the despair didn't show in his high-pitched voice. “Don't be like the rabbit.”

Don't be like me.

“But the rabbit didn't know about the wolf.” She stroked Hettie's cheek the way she stroked Winston's a couple of minutes ago. “It wasn't Hettie's fault.”

It was useless. It didn't matter how many times Nova repeated it to him.

Winston knew it was his fault.

But he also didn't want to argue about it anymore. Now he didn't matter. Nova was the only thing that mattered.

Nova was everything.

“Nova. Please, Nova, do you swear you will tell someone if you find a wolf?”

Do you swear you will never be like me?

“My Uncle Ace says swearing is terribly wicked.”

He squeezed her shoulders lightly.

Ace could go fuck himself.

Winston wanted to be certain that she was going to be safe, that she knew what she had to know.

Nova had to know if something bad happened to her...

Winston couldn't speak for the other anarchists. He wanted to believe they would do the right thing, but people kept surprising him in the worst ways. But Winston needed Nova to confirm that she knew that if something bad happened to her, he was going to believe her with the same intensity that others had not believed him.

One thing they had in common was that neither of them was a liar.

“If you swear it to me, I'll let you play with Hettie.”

Her face lit up. “Seriously?”

“Seriously, seriously.”

Nova giggled. “I swear.”

Winston offered his fist and Nova bumped into it.

He was silent, but his mind was racing.

It didn't matter what happened in the future. Winston was going to believe Nova. Forever. Because Nova wasn't going to be like him. And he wasn't going to be like the people who hurt him, either.

“Do you want to play with Hettie?” he whispered to her.

Nova stared at Hettie for a few more seconds. She smiled at him and returned him to his bed with the delicacy that only a girl her age could have. “No. He is already asleep. Tomorrow will be another day.”

And before Winston could respond, Nova squeezed his hand in such a way that she inadvertently pushed him into the void.

Winston fell asleep.

He slept better than he had in a long time.

[aion-rsa]

The Star Trek: The Original Series Episodes That Best Define the Franchise

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By the time my generation got to watch Star Trek: The Original Series, the episodes often were being presented in top-ten marathons. When I was ten-years-old, for the 25th Anniversary of Star Trek, I tape-recorded a marathon of ten episodes that had all been voted by fans as the best-ever installments of The Original Series. Later, I got lucky and found Trek stickers at the grocery store and was able to label my VHS tapes correctly. But do I think all the episodes that were in that marathon back in 1991 were really the best episodes of all of the classic Star Trek? The short answer: no. Although I love nearly every episode of the first 79 installments of Star Trek, I do think that certain lists have been created by what we think should be on the list rather than what episodes really best represent the classic show. 

This is a long-winded way of saying, no, I didn’t include “Amok Time” or “The Menagerie” on this list because, as great as they are, I don’t think they really represent the greatest hits of the series. Also, if you’ve never watched TOS, I think those two episodes will throw you off cause you’ll assume Spock is always losing his mind or trying to steal the ship. If you’ve never watched TOS, or you feel like rewatching it with fresh eyes, I feel pretty strong that these 10 episodes are not only wonderful, but that they best represent what the entire series is really about. Given this metric, my choice for the best episode of TOS may surprise you…

10. “The Man Trap” 

The first Star Trek ever episode aired should not be the first episode you watch. And yet, you should watch it at some point. The goofy premise concerns an alien with shaggy dog fur, suckers on its hand, and a face like a terrifying deep-sea fish. This alien is also a salt vampire that uses telepathy that effectively also makes it a shapeshifter. It’s all so specifically bonkers that trying to rip-off this trope would be nuts. Written by science fiction legend George Clayton Johnson (one half of Logan’s Run authorship) “The Man Trap” still slaps, and not because Spock (Leonard Nimoy)  tries to slap the alien. Back in the early Season 1 episodes of Star Trek, the “supporting” players like Uhura and Sulu are actually doing stuff in the episode. We all talk about Kirk crying out in pain when the M-113 creature puts those suckers on his face, but the real scene to watch is when Uhura starts speaking Swahili. The casual way Uhura and Sulu are just their lovable selves in this episode is part of why we just can’t quit the classic Star Trek to this day. Plus, the fact that the story is technically centered on Bones gives the episode some gravitas and oomph. You will believe an old country doctor thinks that salt vampire is Nancy! (Spoiler alert: It’s not Nancy.)

9. “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield” 

There are two episodes everyone always likes to bring up when discussing the ways in which Star Trek changed the game for the better in pop culture’s discourse on racism: “Plato’s Stepchildren” and this episode, “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield.” The former episode is famous because Kirk and Uhura kiss, which is sometimes considered the first interracial kiss on an American TV show. (British TV shows had a few of those before Star Trek, though.) But “Plato’s Stepchildren” is not a great episode, and Kirk and Uhura were also manipulated to kiss by telepaths. So, no, I’m not crazy about “Plato’s Stepchildren.” Uhura being forced to kiss a white dude isn’t great.

But “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield,” oddly holds up. Yep. This is the one about space racism where the Riddler from the ‘60s Batman (Frank Gorshin) looks like a black-and-white cookie. Is this episode cheesy? Is it hard to take most of it seriously? Is it weird that Bele (Frank Gorshin) didn’t have a spaceship because the budget was so low at that time? Yes. Is the entire episode dated, and sometimes borderline offensive even though its heart is in the right place? Yes. Does the ending of the episode still work? You bet it does. If you’re going to watch OG Star Trek and skip this episode, you’re kind of missing out on just how charmingly heavy-handed the series could get. “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield” is like a ‘60s after-school special about racism, but they were high while they were writing it.

8. “Arena”

You’re gonna try to list the best episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series and not list the episode where Kirk fights a lizard wearing gold dress-tunic? The most amazing thing about “Arena” is that it’s a Season 1 episode of The Original Series and somehow everyone involved in making TOS had enough restraint not to ever try to use this Gorn costume again. They didn’t throw it away either! This famous rubber lizard was built by Wah Chang and is currently owned by none other than Ben Stiller.

So, here’s the thing about “Arena” that makes it a great episode of Star Trek, or any TV series with a lizard person. Kirk refuses to kill the Gorn even though he could have, and Star Trek refused to put a lizard costume in a bunch of episodes later, even though they totally could have. Gold stars all around.

7. “Balance of Terror”

The fact that Star Trek managed to introduce a race of aliens that looked exactly like Spock, and not confuse its viewership is amazing. On top of that, the fact that this detail isn’t exactly the entire focus of the episode is equally impressive. The notion that the Romulans look like Vulcans is a great twist in The Original Series, and decades upon decades of seeing Romulans has probably dulled the novelty ever so slightly. But, the idea that there was a brutally cold and efficient version of the Vulcans flying around in invisible ships blowing shit up is not only cool, but smart.

“Balance of Terror” made the Romulans the best villains of Star Trek because their villainy felt personal. Most Romulan stories in TNG, DS9, and Picard are pretty damn good and they all start right here.

6. “Space Seed”

Khaaaan!!!! Although The Wrath of Khan is infinitely more famous than the episode from which it came, “Space Seed” is one of the best episodes of The Original Series even if it hadn’t been the progenitor of that famous film. In this episode, the worst human villain the Enterprise can encounter doesn’t come from the present, but instead, the past. Even though “Space Seed” isn’t considered a very thoughtful episode and Khan is a straight-up gaslighter, the larger point here is that Khan’s evilness is connected to the fact that he lived on a version of Earth closer to our own.

The episode’s coda is also amazing and speaks of just how interesting Captain Kirk really is. After Khan beat the shit out of him and tried to suffocate the entire Enterprise crew, Kirk’s like “Yeah, this guy just needs a long camping trip.” 

5. “A Piece of the Action”

A few years back, Saturday Night Live did a Star Trek sketch in which it was revealed that Spock had a relative named “Spocko.” This sketch was tragically unfunny because TOS had already made the “Spocko” joke a million times better in “A Piece of the Action.” When you describe the premise of this episode to someone who has never seen it or even heard of it, it sounds like you’re making it up. Kirk, Spock, and Bones are tasked with cleaning-up a planet full of old-timey mobsters who use phrases like “put the bag on you.” Not only is the episode hilarious, but it also demonstrates the range of what Star Trek can do as an emerging type of pop-art. In “A Piece of the Action,” Star Trek begins asking questions about genres that nobody ever dreamed of before. Such as, “what if we did an old-timey gangster movie, but there’s a spaceship involved?”

4. “Devil in the Dark”

When I was a kid, my sister and I called this episode, “the one with giant pizza.” Today, it’s one of those episodes of Star Trek that people tell you defines the entire franchise. They’re not wrong, particularly because we’re just talking about The Original Series. The legacy of this episode is beyond brilliant and set-up a wonderful tradition within the rest of the franchise; a monster story is almost never a monster story

The ending of this episode is so good, and Leonard Nimoy and Shatner play the final scenes so well that I’m actually not sure it’s cool to reveal what the big twist is. If you somehow don’t know, I’ll just say this. You can’t imagine Chris Pratt’s friendly Velicrapotrs, or Ripper on Discovery without the Horta getting their first.

3. “The Corbomite Maneuver” 

If there’s one episode on this list that truly represents what Star Trek is usually all about on a plot level, it’s this one. After the first two pilot episodes —“Where No Man Has Gone Before” and “The Cage”—this was the first regular episode filmed. It’s the first episode with Uhura and, in almost every single way, a great way to actually explain who all these characters are and what the hell they’re doing. The episode begins with Spock saying something is “fascinating” and then, after the opening credits, calling Kirk, who is down in sickbay with his shirt off. Bones gives Kirk shit about not having done his physical in a while, and Kirk wanders through the halls of the episode without his shirt, just kind of holding his boots. 

That’s just the first like 5 minutes. It just gets better and better from there. Like a good bottle of tranya, this episode only improves with time. And if you think it’s cheesy and the big reveal bizarre, then I’m going to say, you’re not going to like the rest of Star Trek. 

2. “The City on the Edge of Forever”

No more blah blah blah! Sorry, wrong episode. Still, you’ve heard about “The City on the Edge of Forever.” You’ve heard it’s a great time travel episode. You’ve heard Harlan Ellison was pissed about how the script turned out. You heard that Ron Moore really wanted to bring back Edith Keeler for Star Trek Generations. (Okay, maybe you haven’t heard that, but he did.)

Everything you’ve heard about this episode is correct. There’s some stuff that will make any sensible person roll their eyes today, but the overall feeling of this episode is unparalleled. Time travel stories are always popular, but Star Trek has never really done a time travel story this good ever again. The edge of forever will always be just out of reach.

1. “A Taste of Armageddon”

Plot twist! This excellent episode of TOS almost never makes it on top ten lists. Until now! If you blink, “A Taste of Armageddon” could resemble at least a dozen other episodes of TOS. Kirk and Spock are trapped without their communicators. The crew has to overpower some guards to get to some central computer hub and blow it up. Scotty is in command with Kirk on the surface and is just kind of scowling the whole time. Kirk is giving big speeches about how humanity is great because it’s so deeply flawed.

What makes this episode fantastic is that all of these elements come together thanks to a simplistic science fiction premise: What if a society eliminated violence but retained murder? What if hatred was still encouraged, but war was automated? Star Trek’s best moments were often direct allegories about things that were actually happening, but what makes “A Taste of Armageddon” so great is that this metaphor reached for something that could happen. Kirk’s solution to this problem is a non-solution, which makes the episode even better. At its best classic Star Trek wasn’t just presenting a social problem and then telling us how to fix it. Sometimes it was saying something more interesting — what if the problem gets even harder? What do we do then? 

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The humor and bombast of “A Taste of Armageddon” is part of the answer to that unspoken question, but there’s also a clever lesson about making smaller philosophical decisions. In Star Wars, people are always trying to rid themselves of the dark side of the Force. In Star Trek, Kirk just teaches us to say, “Hey I won’t be a terrible person, today” and then just see how many days we can go in a row being like that.

What do you think are the most franchise-defining episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series? Let us know in the comments below.

The post The Star Trek: The Original Series Episodes That Best Define the Franchise appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[everwitch-magiks]

dance with somebody (ch. 14)

start from ch. 1 | back to ch. 13

“There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

Dex looks up, startled.

There’s only a handful of people who know that Dex spends most of his lunch breaks in the theatre club’s wood workshop. Ford is in on it, of course, since she literally gave him a key. Then there's Joyo, who inevitably ran into Dex within less than a week – if there's one person on the hockey team Dex had known he'd encounter all the way across campus in the art building, it's definitely Joyo. It really hadn't been much of a surprise when Joyo had stepped out of the pottery studio right opposite just as Dex was locking up the workshop. Dex had been prepared, had already made up his mind to simply tell Joyo exactly what he was up to and ask that Joyo keep it a secret. (Joyo had sworn, most dutifully, not to tell a single living soul. It had been unexpectedly sweet.)

Other than that, the only people who know are the theatre kids themselves, who have graciously granted Dex the use of a corner of their workshop in exchange for his advice on the construction of a few of their more elaborate set pieces. Which is why Dex is more than a little bit surprised to find Whiskey standing before him, out of breath in a way that suggests he’s just run all the way across campus.

“How did you know I was here?” Dex can’t help but wonder.

“Ford,” Whiskey says, and suddenly Dex feels silly for asking. Of course Ford would tell Whiskey, if Whiskey needed to know. There’s probably more sacred pacts between Whiskey and Tango and Ford than between all the other team members put together. “This is kind of important, and she… Wait. What’re you doing?”

Dex looks down at his work for a moment, contemplating his answer. He’s actually gotten pretty far. The red oak boards he’s using for the surface of the table are glued together, and he’s currently in the process of using a hand plane to smoothen it out before he can move on to sanding. Still, there’s actually nothing that gives away what it is that Dex is making, exactly, which is presently to his advantage. He's always intended to tell as few people as possible, just in case.

“I’m using a hand plane to even out the surface of this red oak,” Dex settles on.

Whiskey looks down at the tool in Dex’s hands. He blinks, once. Then he shakes his head a little.

“Sure,” he says, and looks up to face Dex again. “D’you have a second? I’ve kind of got… This thing.”

“Of course.” Dex puts down his things and leans back against his work bench. “What’s up?”

Whiskey, who has obviously gone to great lengths to speak to Dex as soon as he possibly could, hesitates.

Dex raises both eyebrows, a little curiously.

Whiskey clears his throat.

“There’s this guy,” he says, the words coming out in a rush.

“Oh,” Dex says. He feels pleasantly surprised. "That's… That's great, Whiskey."

It’s been so long since their pivotal conversation out on the porch, during the first kegster of the fall, that Dex has started to Whiskey might never bring this up again. Apparently, he was wrong.

Whiskey sighs, running a hand through his hair. He isn't not smiling, but it's a near thing.

“Honestly? I'm not actually sure.”

"Okay," Dex says slowly. He's far from certain of how he's supposed to navigate this. Especially since Whiskey doesn't seem at all inclined to take the lead. "D'you wanna… What's he like?"

That makes Whiskey look away briefly, possibly in an attempt to hide the way his expression softens.

"He's, um. He's kind of amazing. Completely out of my league. I've got no idea why he keeps wanting to spend so much time with me."

Dex smiles.

"It sounds like he likes you, too?"

"I guess," Whiskey says carefully. "On some level, at least. We, um. We've been studying together, and also… Not studying together. Lately, it's kind of been more of the latter."

"Right." Dex tries not to grin too widely. "Good for you, man."

Whiskey cheeks turn a little pink. It's completely out of character and strangely endearing.

"Well, anyway," Whiskey says quickly, with a sudden willingness to move the conversation forward. "The thing is, I'm not out. And he is. And I really want something that's more than whatever we're doing right now, but it's not like I could ask him to go back in the closet. So I'm just not sure what to do."

"... Huh." Dex ponders that for a moment. "And you're not planning on coming out?"

"No," Whiskey says, very firmly. "I'm not going to. That's not an option, here."

"Alright," Dex agrees gently. "That's completely okay, Whiskey. I'm just trying to get the full picture."

"I know that," Whiskey says quickly. "It's just, I've been thinking about that a lot, myself. I'd be asking so much less from him if I at least thought I might come out at some point, maybe in a few years or something. But I'm just not going to do that."

"Right." Dex nods, smiling. "Years, huh?"

Whiskey frowns, a little defensively.

"That's completely okay," Dex repeats firmly. "What I mean is, you're clearly thinking about this guy in a very long-term sense. He must be someone pretty special."

Whiskey looks away abruptly.

"I know. I'm being so stupid," he says quietly. "He probably thinks of this as just a bit of fun, or whatever. And even if he doesn't, a lot of relationships don't actually last past college. I know that. It's just, I tend to consider any important decision in a very long-term sense, and I do really like this guy a lot. A lot, a lot. So much that I could definitely see myself with him years down the line. Even if that does make me a presumptuous fucking idiot."

Dex takes a moment to ponder that. Suddenly, he's almost tempted to tell Whiskey the true purpose of the unfinished wooden table next to them. He wonders how Whiskey might react, if he did. It's not something he's ever considered before – he's been too busy wondering what Nursey will think of it, once he eventually gets to see it.

It's the question that's been occupying both Dex's waking thoughts and his dreams, lately, whether or not Nursey will actually say yes.

"I don't think you're being stupid," Dex tells Whiskey softly. He traces his fingertips across the surface of the red oak. "It's not necessarily a bad thing to know exactly what you want from someone. I think the really important thing is going to be how you tell him."

Whiskey raises both eyebrows. He looks incredulous.

"You think I should tell him?"

"Well, yes." Dex smiles. "If you want to be with this guy, then he's going to need to know where you're at, here. He's not going to magically read your mind."

"But I can't just…" Whiskey begins, before faltering. "I mean. If I come on that strong, and that's not how he feels… Then what?"

"Well." Dex thinks for a moment. "You might not want to lead with the bit about years down the line. But I don't think you should necessarily leave it out. He might not have considered any of that just yet, for sure, but there's a major difference between asking him how he feels about it as opposed to just letting him know it's something you could see in your future."

"I guess." Whiskey sighs. "We might not even get to that point in the conversation. If he isn't okay with having a relationship behind closed doors, it's game over. And I sort of doubt that's anything he's ever dreamed of."

Dex hums. "Has he said something like that?"

Whiskey thinks for a second.

"Not exactly. But I can't imagine he came out because he's a big fan of hiding."

"Right," Dex agrees. "But I guess you've been meeting up pretty discreetly so far? For your, what was it…. Non-studying sessions."

"We do actually study, sometimes," Whiskey says quickly, his cheeks turning distinctly pink again – under different circumstances, Dex thinks privately, he'd have charged a major fine right there. "We have a class together and everything."

"Oh, let me guess," Dex chirps, grinning. "Anatomy of the human body. Project partners. In-depth study."

"Oh, for fucks sake. No." Whiskey rolls his eyes. "We've been kissing non-stop, if you must know. But nothing more. Not yet, anyway."

For a second, Dex mentally kicks himself for teasing Whiskey to a point where he felt obligated to share something so private. Except, there's a change in Whiskey's expression after he's said it. He catches Dex's eyes, a small smile playing over his lips, almost like he's waiting for Dex's reaction. And that's when Dex remembers – Whiskey doesn't actually get to do this, like, ever. He never shares in their jokes about being a disaster bi or too gay to function, never comments on whether Chris Evans is hotter than Chris Pratt or which one of them he'd rather fuck or marry. To Whiskey, boy talk is a rarity, a luxury he seldom allows himself to enjoy.

Suddenly, Dex wonders if he ought to have teased Whiskey more.

"Sounds like plenty of fun to me," Dex settles on, offering Whiskey a grin. "For what it's worth, it sounds like this guy is more than a little bit into you."

"God, I hope you're right." Whiskey runs a hand through his hair, almost absently. He's still smiling. "If him and I could actually work out, that’d be… I don't know. Almost too perfect.”

"Talk to him," Dex encourages readily. "And let me know how it goes."

"Yeah. Okay." Whiskey exhales. "Now I just need to come up with a decent plan."

Dex barely resists rolling his eyes. Of course Whiskey would require a solid strategy, before attempting a high-risk play like this.

"I'm sure you'll come up with something great. You already know this guy fairly well, right?"

"For sure, yeah, I… Wait." Whiskey snaps his fingers. "Yes. You're right."

Dex raises a curious eyebrow.

"So," Whiskey continues quickly. "On a not unrelated note... Is there any chance I could borrow your truck, sometime? Maybe this Sunday?"

"Of course," Dex promises. "Whatever you need. I'm rooting for you guys."

"Thank you." Whiskey smiles again, and there's a weight to his words that probably doesn't have a whole lot to do with Dex's truck, specifically. "Dex, thank you so much. Truly."

Dex returns his smile. He wonders, not for the first time, who the fuck he should offer his dibs to now that Whiskey already lives in the Haus.

"Anytime. And good luck."

ch. 15

[ma-sulevin]

Kinktober Days 14 - 16: Hair pulling, sub/dom, and face fucking

Staci Pratt x Chelsea Cooper, rated E (obviously)

2,271 words, complete.

---

Chelsea’s warm and sleepy, stretched all the way across the couch and half on top of Staci as he plays some zombie game she’s never heard of on the PlayStation that’s his but is somehow always at her house anyway. The volume’s a little too high and every now and then he swears at the characters like it’s not his own fault when something stupid happens on-screen, but when the game is loading something, he cards his fingers through her hair and that makes up for everything else.

She should just ask if he wants to move in. She can’t even remember the last time he slept in his shitty little rental.

The background noise of the game stops, and she opens her eyes in time to see him putting the console into sleep mode. He puts the controller down and runs his fingers through her hair again, leaning over a bit to see if her eyes are open.

He smiles when he sees her already peering up at him.

“Tired, baby?” He keeps petting her hair, and she arches into his touch as she shakes her head.

She’s not tired, not exactly. She’s just comfortable.

His fingers wander across her cheek, down the slope of her nose, over her lips. “Should we go upstairs?” His hand continues its downward path, circling her throat for half a second before sliding down across her chest and into the loose hem of her tank.

She arches into his touch again, sighing a little as his warm fingers find the little metal bar in her nipple and give it a tug.

“Dunno,” she says, letting her eyes close again as her body lights up under his touch. “ ‘m pretty comfy.” The next tug on her piercing is a little sharper, just the right side of painful. She smiles through her moan and blinks up at him again. “Something upstairs you want?”

He shakes his head, his smirk growing into a little smile. “Everything I want’s right here.”

She doesn’t have time to let the blush settle on her face before he’s pulling his hand from her tank and guiding her up to kiss him. She feels warm and pliant and she lets him arrange her in his lap even though she’s tall enough that he has to crane his head back to really kiss her, because he never seems to mind it.

They kiss slowly, just enjoying each other without rushing, heat building between them like a slow eventuality until she can feel him hard in his sweatpants, pressing deliciously against her. Her little squirms turn into something with more purpose, a steady rocking of her hips against his to feel him even closer.

He pulls his lips away from hers and kisses her throat, down to her chest where he pulls her tank top down to expose her breasts, hooking the fabric under them to keep it out of the way as he sucks her nipple into his mouth.

She runs her fingers into his hair and holds on tight as he licks at her, then she accidentally tugs as he uses his teeth to worry at the piercing.

He tilts his head back as she tugs, and his eyes flash as he opens them to look at her. He doesn’t say anything until she releases his hair, and then he just starts to pull her tank up from the bottom.

“Take this off, baby.” 

She does, dropping it onto the couch next to them, and starts to reach for him again before he captures her wrists in his hands.

“Get down on the floor.”

She opens her mouth to argue with him, just out of habit, but his fingers tighten on her wrist and his cock twitches against her, and she can’t do anything other than nod at him.

He smiles as he releases her, and she slips off his lap to kneel between his knees. He takes just a second to cup her jaw, to brush his thumb over her lips before he lifts his hips and pushes his sweatpants down.

His cock bobs as he moves, thick and full and delicious, and she licks her lips as she watches him settle on the edge of the couch.

“I’m going to fuck your face,” he says, voice clear and words crisp. It’s not a question; he’s not asking her permission, he’s telling her what’s about to happen.

She draws in a sharp breath and opens her mouth to argue despite the way his words make her feel warm all over again, but as soon as her lips part, his thumb is between them.

“Suck.”

She glares at him and does what he says, sucking on his thumb like her life depends on it.

His lips part as he watches her, his gaze pinned on her mouth, and he doesn’t look up before he says, “Fuck, you’re gorgeous. Those lips were made to suck my dick.”

She bites at the pad of his thumb and he yanks his hand back. “You’re lucky I let your dick anywhere near my mouth.”

Staci chuckles and leans forward to gather her hair up in his fist. She lets him, cheeks warm, and refuses to follow his lead when he tries to pull her closer.

He chuckles again. “C’mon, baby girl. I know you can be good for me.”

The thing is, she can be good, but she doesn’t necessarily want to be good, even with the warmth from the pet name filling her up. It’s not until he leans over her, tilting her head back and brushing his thumb over her cheekbone that she decides giving in might be more fun than resisting. 

She lets him kiss her anyway, his lips and tongue coaxing her into relaxing until her body goes pliant, then he pulls away.

“There’s my girl,” Staci says, kissing her forehead once before he leans back and starts to guide her head down again, fingers still tight in her hair.

This time she lets him push her where he wants her, down to kiss the head of his cock as his free hand pulls his foreskin back to expose it for her. He’s insistent but not in a hurry, so she takes her time licking over it, getting it nice and wet for when Staci inevitably loses patience and fulfills his promise to really take over.

He’s already watching her when she glances up to see how he’s enjoying himself, his eyes dark and his lips parted. His expression is warm, surprisingly soft, and she can feel herself blushing despite everything else already going on.

She waits until his eyes lift from her mouth to meet her gaze to slip one of her hands into her sleeping shorts and between her thighs. She’s wet, soaked through, and she moans openly as her fingers find her clit.

“That’s it, baby,” he says, voice gentle even as his fingers tighten in her hair. “See if you can make yourself come before I do.”

It sounds like a challenge, and she has half a second to wonder what will happen if she can’t come before he does before he completely takes over and guides his cock back into her mouth.

It’s all a blur now, sensations overwhelming as he finally begins to fuck into her mouth, holding her steady by her hair as his hips move, pushing in and then pulling out before she has time to get used to its weight on her tongue.

It’s been a while since they’ve done this like this, but she remembers what to do, remembers the way Staci’s taught her to love this, to trust the way he handles her. She just relaxes her jaw and closes her eyes and lets him do what he wants to her, most of her focus going to her fingers working between her legs, because she doesn’t want to find out what happens if he comes first.

Staci praises her with each thrust, a steady stream of compliments dripping from his lips as he takes what he needs from her. They’re filthy things, they always are, about how good her mouth feels, how she was made to do this for him, how she should’ve let him take her to dinner way sooner so they could’ve been doing this all along, how he wants to do this whenever he sees her with her pen stuck in her mouth at work, how she’s always fucking distracting him when he’s trying to focus.

The words wash over her, make her feel too hot even though she’s barely dressed, make the movement of her fingers wet and sloppy even as her eyes water and drool drips unheeded from her lips.

“Jesus Christ, you’re gorgeous like this,” he says, voice sounding rough. He thrusts in again, deeper, and she chokes as he holds her still. “Fuck, yeah. You take my dick so good.”

He releases her just as she’s about to tap his leg to ask him to, and she rips her head back to gasp for air. He lets go of her hair and lets her rock back away from him, grinning down at her as she wipes at her chin and heaves in deep breaths.

“Can you stand up for me?” 

She blinks at him and doesn’t move, confused, arousal and lack of oxygen swirling in her head until she doesn’t know what he wants until he repeats himself and tugs on her upper arms.

She stands, watching silently as Staci pulls her fingers to his mouth, cleaning them off as he pushes her shorts down to pool around her ankles. 

“I was going to come in your mouth,” he says, pulling her forward, “or on your tits maybe,” he stops to kiss one, flicking his tongue over it as he pulls her down into his lap. He releases her nipple with a pop and looks down between them as he lines his cock up with her entrance and finishes his thought, “But I know you like it best when I come in your pussy.”

She sinks down on him with a moan only half caused by him pushing inside her. She doesn’t have it in her to lie, so she just nods at him. She does like that best.

“You’re fucking soaked,” he says, sounding more breathless now than before. He rests his head on the back of the couch and pushes her to move with his hands on her thighs. “I love it. C’mon, baby girl, fuck me with it.”

“You got a dirty fuckin’ mouth, Staci Pratt,” she says, like she has no intention of doing what he told her to do. 

He grins and slaps her ass, and the spark of pleasure is enough to push her into fucking him like he wants, her hands clutching the back of the couch to give her leverage to set a pace that will bring them both to the edge fast, especially with the teasing that led them here.

“This dirty mouth gets you wet,” he says, and she’s gratified to hear how breathless he sounds. “This dirty mouth makes you come better than any other guy you’ve been with.”

She bares her teeth at him, annoyed and rushing toward orgasm at the same time. “Fuck you, Stace.”

“Yeah, fuck me, baby.” He slaps her ass again and it makes her eyes drop closed and her head tip back. “Just like that. Fuck.”

And she does, lost to the sensation of him inside her, the sounds he makes every time he sinks deep inside her, the way his hands trace over her body like he just can’t help it.

It’s perfect and it’s too much, and she wants to touch her clit to make herself come already but she can’t let go of the couch, so she just keeps going and trusts Staci to take care of her.

She trusts him.

“I love you,” she says, even though she doesn’t mean to, even though she doesn’t usually say stuff like this while they’re playing. “Fuck, I love you.” It just slips out, drips from her lips without her consent, and she clenches hard around him when she hears him moan in response.

He starts fucking up into her too, meeting her thrusts with his own and pushing her so close to the edge that she can barely keep going, but she doesn’t know how to stop.

“There you go,” he says, voice catching on almost every word. His fingernails scratch against her skin and she starts to spin out, barely aware of what he’s saying. “Come for me, princess, come on my dick.”

She does, flying over the edge without hesitating, fucking down onto him until it becomes too much and he has to take over, fucking into her with one thumb over her clit to drag out her pleasure until he comes too. He holds her hips flush against his, arm around her waist, keeping her still as he fills her up just like she wants.

He catches her lips in a sloppy kiss, with too much tongue and gasping for breath, and then she collapses against his chest and tucks her face against his neck as she shivers and clenches around him with the aftershocks of the orgasm that made her head spin.

They’ll have to move soon, she’ll have to get up and clean up before they make a mess on her couch, but… with Staci warm around her, his hand rubbing soothing circles up and down her back, his cock still hard inside her… she can’t bring herself to move.

Kinktober Master Post.

[queen-of-the-avengers]

You’ve Already Won

Characters: Tom Hiddleston x Reader, other mcu cast members

Word Count: 2,654

Warnings: just fluff

Summary: You’ve never been kissed under the mistletoe, and Tom wants to change that.

Author’s Note: If you have any requests, please send them in! This is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are all on me.

this is late, but it’s for my 25 days of christmas rpf with the prompt: “I’ve never kissed anyone underneath the mistletoe before”

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The whole time you’ve been at this early Christmas party, you’ve been listening to Chris Hemsworth tell his story about what he did right before coming to this party. He loves to tell stories, especially when they involve the ocean or surfing.

“So there’s this big wave, right? I see it coming, and I’m getting ready to ride that shit like a pro. Liam is right behind me, and we know we’re going to crush it like all the other ones before. The wave gets to us, and we’re surfing, but Liam collides into me, and we both go down. Best wave I’ve ever seen, and he ruins it,” Chris laughs, and a round of laughter follows him.

This is the chillest Christmas party you’ve ever been to. Marvel likes to throw them every year, but this is the best one so far. What makes it the best is Tom Hiddleston. He wasn’t able to make it last year which put you in a bit of a funk. Everyone could tell you were sad about something, and even though you didn’t tell them why, they knew it was because of him.

Tom’s been your crush ever since you starred next to him on Thor. Initially, your role was supposed to be Thor’s girlfriend, but Natalie Portman got that part. Despite that minor setback, you played Sif’s older sister that didn’t have any interest in nothing but Asgard. It was the perfect role for Tom’s mischievous character. You two work so well that you’re going to be in his Disney Plus series. The production hasn’t started yet, but you’re looking forward to it.

There’s something about Tom that you’ve fallen for, and it’s hard to pick just one quality. He’s sweet, polite, such a good listener, and even if he isn’t interested in the things you love, he’ll listen to every word you have to say. There is no one else in the world like him, and if you don’t snag him up soon, some other lucky lady will. It’s hard to talk to a man who looks and acts like him, which is why you didn’t come clean yet. He makes you blush uncontrollably, gives you a nervous stutter, and makes your heart pound so loud that you’re shocked he doesn’t hear it. You don’t know exactly what you mean to him or how he feels about you since he’s a difficult person to read. There’s a reason he doesn’t play at the weekly poker game. He’ll win every time whether he has a good hand or not.

Everyone on set knows you like him just as much as he likes you. He has such a huge crush on the woman who makes him want to break his poker face, that scrambles his brain to mush, and that makes him see double. He’s so excited to work with you on the 10-episode series, but he’s nervous as hell to do it. Everyone can see just how much you two mean to one another, and everyone has a bet to see how long it takes until one of you caves and confesses. Half the cast thinks Tom will, while the other half thinks you’ll break first. They want to keep this process as natural as possible even if it’s agonizing to watch.

Chris’ story is really interesting, but you can’t focus on it. If you even look at him, you’ll feel holes start to burn through your skull from Tom’s eyes. Whenever you look over at him, he quickly looks away as if he’s scared to catch your gaze. Once you have your eyes set on him, you’ll stare until he tries to look at you. Robert Downey Jr sees what’s going on, and he has to resist the eye roll that threatens to come out.

“You’ll never believe what just happened,” Scarlet groans as she approaches the group.

She plops down next to you on the couch with a sigh.

“What happened?” Elizabeth asks as she sips her drink.

“I almost got caught underneath the mistletoe by Slippery Sloan,” she shudders. Sloan is a man who works on the set designs that has an unbelievable amount of saliva in his mouth. Whenever he talks, and you’re close enough, you’ll get the weather sprayed on you. You can only imagine the kind of kiss he gives.

“Oh you poor thing,” you groan.

“Yeah, I ducked away just in time.”

“I remember one time I tried to get this girl to kiss me underneath the mistletoe,” Robert explains. “I tried like ten times, and I ended up kissing her sister.”

“Aren’t you married to the sister?” Chris Hemsworth laughs.

“Yeah, don’t tell my wife,” he smiles widely.

“That’s better than having some man who’s wasted shove his tongue down my throat,” Elizabeth shudders. “I swear I can still taste the alcohol.”

“What about you Tom? What’s your mistletoe horror story?” Scarlet asks.

“I don’t have one. I’ve always been very polite about it. I usually kiss the cheeks anyway. I don’t like to use silly Christmas games for unwanted kisses.”

“Boo!” Elizabeth, Scarlet, and Robert chorus playfully together.

It’s kind of sweet that Tom goes for the cheeks. It makes you love him even more than you already do.

“What about you, Y/N? Anything more horrifying than politeness?” Robert teases.

“I already went. Chris, what about you?” you dodge the question.

“No, you didn’t! You’re hiding something! What was so bad?” Scarlet gasps.

“I’ve never been kissed under the mistletoe before,” you mutter into your red cup.

“What?”

“I’m never been kissed under the mistletoe before, okay?” you sigh.

“How have you never been kissed? You’re hot!” Elizabeth gasps.

You refuse to meet anyone’s eyes, but you could have sworn you saw Tom’s body stiffen at her words.

“I don’t know. I just never got the opportunity. Sounds like I dodged a bullet based on the stories I’ve heard tonight,” you chuckle.

“There are bad stories, sure, but there are so many good ones. I can give you a bunch if you’d like,” Robert chimes in.

“No, thank you. I can imagine it.”

The conversation goes back to idle chit-chat and small talk, and before you know it, everyone has already moved on from you; all except one. Tom. While he doesn’t want to push you into something that you don’t want to do, he is determined to be your first mistletoe kiss.

Tom wanted to see if you could try and give you a kiss to remember at the party. There’s already mistletoe here, so he gets up with one thing on his mind: get you into the kitchen. On his way to the kitchen, he snatches the mistletoe hanging above one of the door frames. He tapes it to the entrance of the kitchen and stands right next to it. Everyone looks like they are either too drunk to walk, playing beer pong, or in deep conversation to want another drink.

“Y/N, can you help me with these drinks?” Tom calls out for you.

“Sure!” you exclaim and get up.

You’re glad to get away from Elizabeth in Scarlet‘s conversation about which of your coworkers at the hottest. As much as you think Evans and Hemsworth are attractive, there’s only one man you have your eyes on.

The game of beer pong is in high gear, and as you pass by there, Chris Pratt called you over with a request only you can fulfill.

“Hey, Y/N, Zoe thinks you’re not the champ!”

“Oh, you’re sadly mistaken,” you smile and make a small detour. Keren is standing on the sidelines watching the game, and because you promised Tom you’d help him with the drinks, you direct your next question to her. “Hey, Karen, Tom needs help with the drinks. Can you take care of that for me?”

“You got it!” she gives you a thumbs up.

Tom overhears what occurred, and before Karen could walk into the kitchen, he thinks the mistletoe off the doorway at the last minute.

“You need help with the drinks?” she asks.

“Yeah, over here,” Tom lies off the top of his head.

Through the cracks of the kitchen door, he sees you toss a ping pong ball expertly into the last red cup on the table. A round of applause and cheers break out. The smile on your face is huge as Zoe drinks from the cup. One minor setback isn’t going to discourage him. If he can’t get you underneath the mistletoe this time, he’ll make sure it happens the next time.

He’s not giving up.

The next opportunity Tom’s got is a few days later. He’s sitting in his makeup chair since he’s in the middle of getting dressed as Loki. His makeup artist had to run out to get some more latex and glue since Keren and Zoe took used most of it. He’s scrolling through his phone when he hears your infectious laughter filter through the hallway, and without even thinking, he reaches for his duffel bag.

He won’t admit it to anyone, but he stole one of the mistletoes from the Christmas party. He’s been waiting for the opportunity to get you under it all this time. The door to the makeup room is slightly ajar, and he scrambles out of his chair before making his way to the door.

“Y/N, can you come here and help me? My wig is going to fall off,” he calls for you.

“Sure!” you answer.

You head towards the room he’s in, and he grips the plant eagerly.

“I got this, Y/N,” another makeup artist who just so happens to be passing by says to you. “I think Holland got himself stuck in his costume again. I was going to do it, but wigs are my forte.”

“Of course he did,” you giggle. “I swear, who let that kid be Spiderman?”

You immediately turn around and leave the building to head over to where the younger Tom was stationed. The older Tom sighs and rushes back over to his chair. When he passes by his bag, he tosses the plant into his bag. He’s going to have to come up with a better plan if he wants to kiss you. He could just ask, but where’s the fun in that?

Third time’s the charm, and Tom believes a direct approach is better than what he’s been trying. It’s taken a few more days before he had another chance to try again. This time, he decided not to beat around the bush. He still wants to do this in the traditional sense, but he’s cutting a few corners. He takes the plant he’s been carrying everywhere and heads over to your trailer.

Christmas is slowly approaching, and he wants to get this in before the day arrives, otherwise all of this effort will have been for nothing.

You’re in the middle of making food for yourself because it’s better than eating out. Plus, if you don’t make the meat that’s been sitting in your fridge for days soon, it’s going to go bad. The only problem is that you can’t cook for shit. You’d invite someone over to help, but they have their own things going on right now. You’ll have to do this one on your own.

You’re not expecting anyone over despite there being enough food for two people. Nonetheless, there is a knock at your door. There’s time for a tiny break so you leave your station to answer the door.

“Hey, Tom, I wasn’t expecting you,” you chuckle.

“I came to ask if you had a few minutes to talk?”

“Yeah, sure, come on in,” you smile and take a step back from the door.

Tom was clearly expecting you to step outside which he then planned to take out the plant and hold it above your head. When you walked further inside, his heart sank a bit until he saw what you were doing.

“What are you doing?”

“Attempting to cook for myself. I’m not very good at this.”

“For one, you don’t need the heat on high,” he says and places the plant in his back pocket so he can help you.

“Why not? It cooks faster,” you pout.

He steps inside your trailer and closes the door behind him. He approaches the stove and turns it down to a low medium.

“Not exactly,” he chuckles.

“How about you help me, and as a reward, you can stay and have dinner with me. I have enough here for two people.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

He vowed to himself that the next time he wants to get you underneath the mistletoe, he’s going to get it right.

Tom is sick and tired of all of his plans going so wrong. He decides that instead of waiting for you to come to him, he’s going to you. Christmas is right around the corner, and he needs to do it now before he goes back to London for the holidays. It didn’t matter what he was doing, he drops whatever was in his hands, grabs the plant, and heads over to your trailer. He knew you were in your trailer because you announced to everyone to not bother you while you’re practicing your lines.

There were so many lines to go over, and given it was a scene with heavy dialogue, you were going out of your mind. This is a scene with Rom since your character is on Asgard who then interacts with Loki. Initially, you thought it might be better to practice alone without any distractions, but it might be a bit more bearable with Tom. You set down your script and yank the door open to head to his trailer when you stopped short. Tom is standing there with his fist raised as if he was going to knock on the door. When you two made eye contact, he lowered his hand quickly.

“Oh, Tom, I was just going to look for you.”

“Really? What for?”

“I wanted to read lines with you. I’m kind of in my own head right now. Why are you here?” you ask innocently.

Right, he came here on a mission.

He didn’t say anything except pull out the mistletoe and hang it over your head.

“Tom?” you ask when you saw what was happening.

“You know, it’s tradition to kiss under the mistletoe,” he says confidently.

His words roll off ha tongue smoothly and with ease, but the light pink tint on his cheeks show his true colors. The gentle look in his eyes proves that you can be yourself around him, that you don’t have anything to worry about. If this were anyone else, you’d try to find a way to let them down; not with him.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to break tradition,” you grin.

He lowers the mistletoe as you lean up toward him. He met you halfway until your lips met. Having Tom be your first mistletoe kiss was something truly special, but your first kiss with Tom left you without words. His lips are so soft, his tongue gently carcasses yours, you taste a hint of coffee, and his large hands feel so warm against your cheeks. To have Tom as a mistletoe kiss is an honor. All those other women he kissed before are lucky, and now you consider yourself it too.

“Hey! Downey! I owe you twenty bucks! They kissed!” Evans shouts from one of the nearby set buildings.

“Lucky bitch! I owe Hemsworth fifty!” Scarlett shouts back.

A breathy laugh leaves your lips when you hear your friends betting on you and Tom getting together.

“Want to go inside?” Tom whispers.

“Try and stop me,” you chuckle and take him inside your trailer.

You can hear your coworkers argue about who won the bet, but you’ve already won the best prize you could possibly get.

If you want to be tagged, add yourself to this document! If your tag doesn’t work, find out why!

@miraclesoflove​ @darkprincessloki92​ @007zada​ @scarletlingeries​ @bluedazefangirl​ @cherrygeek86​ @awkwardfangirl2014​ @kendall-michele​ @niall2017​ @scorpionchild81​ @kiwihoee​ @gh0stgurl​

[foxtophat]

ooh, interested to hear more about "john & sharky" and "staci pratt is a..."

THANK YOU FOR ASKING i have had this auto deleted 3 times now so lets hope this goes through

ok so lets start with the pratt one. i have a jacob/eli au that only has the first fic up, but i’ve been dabbling with other stories. one of them is basically about staci not trusting jacob AT ALL, given his bad attitude and how many rumors have started about him.  so basically staci acts like a jerk to jacob, and he has to come to terms with some personal (au) trauma to deal with it. i want to try building the lore for the sheriff’s office, since rook is technically an important background character (AS USUAL).  the story’s mostly about eli telling staci to knock it off but i’ve deleted it 3 times now so WHO KNOWS when i’ll actually settle down and start it for real

the john/sharky one is the same au idea (mundane, no cult shenanigans). i like the idea of john and sharky bonding over snark and drugs, and aesthetically the ship is very pleasing to me.  the story mostly involves john and sharky living through their regressed teenage romance bullshit, my FAVORITE KIND of slice of life. ummm here’s a snippet that i like from the first round of re-drafting!!! without any formatting bc i hate tumblr

Sharky's halfway into a reverie about his life choices up until this point when John fucking Seed shows up. Bastard walks in like he owns the joint, right in the middle of a disco deepcut off the jukebox. He looks around, actually pleased that nobody else is around, and then he sees Sharky. Sharky tries hard not to see him in return, figuring that he can avoid talking to the guy entirely if he just avoids looking at him, but he just knows his luck isn't that good. And it really fucking isn't, because John pulls out a stool at the bend of the bar, making absolutely sure to be in Sharky's line of sight.

He seems oblivious to the sour face Mary May gives him as he leans his elbows all the way onto the counter. "What's the most expensive swill this town's got?" he asks, sounding exactly like a mean rich kid in an 80's movie.

"I can upsell you trough water if you want," Mary May says without batting an eyelash. "But swill ain't what I call alcohol in my bar. You wanna try that again?"

Sharky sees a muscle tense in John's brow, eyebrow raising just briefly, and then he seems to switch gears mid-thought, smile broadening. "Sure," he drawls,dragging the S just a touch longer than the rest of the word (like a fucking snake, Sharky would like to point out). "A gin and tonic would be perfect."

Mary May turns away, unimpressed. Sharky scoffs, loudly and on purpose, but it's an accident when he actually meets John's eye. John in turn looks at him as though he could forget Sharky's face in a heartbeat. Well, fuck him, not everybody gets to grow a full beard or have stunning blue eyes, and some people just prefer not to work out or maintain their physique! It's not a fucking crime, and he doesn't have to look at Sharky like he's committing one.

John's talking, but Sharky's not completely listening. He does hear John ask, skeptically, "The Funyuns and Mountain Dew guy?"

"You know, only serial killers and sociopaths drink gin, right?" It's true. Sharky read it on the internet.

John quirks an eyebrow at him, scratches the curve of his jaw. His shoulders shift as he rolls them, and the smile he finally settles on is as genuine as a counterfeit three dollar bill. "Lucky for you, I only target attractive blonds."

He makes eye-contact with Mary May, who rolls her eyes as she drops off his drink, but she doesn't stoop to responding. Good on her. She can handle plenty of jackasses, that's why she's the bartender, and she knows when a fight isn't worth having.

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

Barely Alive (Chris Evans) (Pt. 2)

PART 1

Characters: Chris Evans x fem!reader

Summary: A zombie apocalypse happened on earth. You've decided to do something impulsive which will lead you into a life or death situation. But despite that, an unexpected savior came to rescue you and he was far more scared for your life than his. (Part 2)

Warnings: Reader is the same age as Tom Holland, but she's legal. Don't go pointing at me like I've created some sin yo. (Pls don't look at my Sebastian Stan oneshots 18+ hehehe 😅) I've read some rumour about H.C dating a 19 year old back then but I'm not sure if it's true. 😂

Words: 2,800+

A/N: I have no idea why I love writing this. Maybe because I love Resident Evil? Anyways, this is only PART 2 and there's going to be part 3. 😊 FEEDBACKS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED! 

Disclaimer: PNG's used in edits are not mine even the GIF's too. However, the edits and oneshots are definitely from moi.

Dedicated: @readermia​ @mcuclintasha​ @itsallyscorner​

The drive back took only minutes. Once the truck stopped inside the huge factory, Chris had swiftly scooped you in his arms. People came stalking towards the car, surrounding the truck as known faces came in view. The man who was holding you had his heart beating so fast, too rapid even though he wasn't even running. "Is that--" The other Chris intervened, Chris Pratt to be specific. His green eyes bulged out of his eye sockets as he saw Y/N in his arms, all bloody and weak.

"She needs help!" The latter helplessly worded out, entirely shaken from your bruised form as he quickly strolled towards the part of the factory where there were sets of hospital beds. "Ch-Chris," You finally managed to hush a whisper, it was too faint to hear but Chris was too focused on you and so he heard. "I'm here," he panted, heartbeat thumping so fast. The constant worry unconsciously travelling towards his eyes which began to fill with tears. He was trying not to, so he kept on swallowing the jitters. "I'm not leaving your side," whispered the man who gently dropped you on the soft, white bed.

Your pained moans started to come as you felt his warmth gone in just a flash. You couldn't form a word nor any sentences that everything was starting to hurt again and it was too excruciating to begin with. "It's okay, Y/N. I'm here, everything's going to be just fine," Chris choked, hasty eyes finding someone for help and he saw Zoe came rushing to his side, asking what happened and what was wrong.

"She was ambushed by men, four were killed by her. Yet, Caesar had her on the ropes," he uttered pointedly, biting his lower lip in apprehension. He felt Y/N moan another painful one. Instinctively, he reached out his hand to grab onto her hand that wasn't bruised, caressing the pad of his thumb on top of hers to let her know that he was there for her.

It was obvious that Zoe would've seen it, and she did. But, she'd rather not acknowledge it. Chris wouldn't dare be in love with a girl half his age, plus the fact that she had a boyfriend would he?

"Caesar? Caesar Brown?" Zoe subtly shook her head, maneuvering towards the other side of the bed as she began taking care of Y/N. "He's dead, already dead." The latter swallowed a lump down his throat, peering down at the bruised woman. An ache forming inside his heart that began to fill with dread. "Shot to the head," he said almost straight to the point that it sounded remotely restrained.

"By who?" Zoe inserted a needle that made Y/N silently moan, a tear escaping the sides of her eyes in which Chris immediately wiped.

"Me,"

His sympathetic friend stopped in her tracks as she was grabbing a cotton ball, her back facing him. Well, killing wasn't new to the world especially when they were in a middle of a zombie apocalypse. Though, what was bemusing her was from the moment her friend knew Y/N went east to grab some resupplies, he immediately flew out of the base despite of how many people didn't want to come. Nobody wanted to be with Y/N because there was no possibility that there were no infected. The fact that not even her own boyfriend, 'William' stood by her side when she went on her own was like a death wish or an ambush by the infected.

Nonetheless, to her surprise she was actually ambushed by nasty people.

Chris didn't know a thing about her impulsive plan because he went west with the gang to find more survivors. Once he came back and knew Y/N was all alone grabbing resupplies with no back-up, he went completely berserk as there were hundreds of bad outcomes inside his head that will make him regret living in the world they were in.

Thus, he didn't risk it. He'd rather risk his life just for her. As for Zoe's understanding with how he was acting since a month ago, he was acting strange that even his ex-girlfriend who was with them came to notice.

He was always with Y/N. Where Y/N was, he was also there. When he was asked why he was being too overprotective of her, his answer could always make them nod because it seems like he was telling the truth.

"She's like a baby sister to me. Nothing more, nothing less."  

Yet, his actions tell otherwise.

"Please, Zoe. Please, I need you to help her, please..She's..just...please, help her." Chris begged, washing his face with his hands in frustration as he stared in nothingness. Avoiding the state where Y/N was in, appearing to feel like he was hurting to see her in pain.

He was confused and Zoe knew deep inside it was his heart who was in a puzzle and that was the truth.

"Alright, I'll do my best, Chris."

Days have passed and Y/N still hasn't woken up. Those days that he felt like she was barely alive was horribly agonizing for him that he felt like his days weren't normal without hearing her hideous laugh and seeing her youthful smiles. His days went by like he felt as if he wasn't awake. He felt horrible that he hadn't been back before she has made that sudden decision that not everybody supported.

He felt like his head was floating as it ached at the same time while he was explaining tactics and opinions to certain people who were gathered up in the middle of a room with chairs, tables, papers, maps and radios. "We head to Maryland," Chris suddenly paused, sighing deep as he stood in the middle of the room, a table and map flat in front of him. He cleared his throat and shifted his weight to his other foot as another shock of headache visited him, making him tightly shut his eyes.  

"Chris," Robert interrupted, analyzing what was happening to him. "You don't look too good," his friend stated as a matter of fact.

"I'm fine," Chris muttered more to himself, shaking his head to clear the head ache away. "So, where were we?"

"Maryland," Paul and Dave spoke at the same time with worried smiles on their faces. The latter nodded at that and tried to remember what he wanted to say before he was interrupted by his own head ache, but nothing. He remembered nothing as his thoughts were drifted to you who was currently in a coma.

"Ah, shit." he shook his head in disappointment before speaking an apology as he deeply sighed, a tight frown plastered on his face while he spun on his heels and left the room in which the team was definitely not used to besides his outgoing personality and large smiles that can get any human infected. Even Y/N.

The team looked at each other with knowing faces and bewildered eyes.

You were moved to a much safer room inside the factory where a hospital bed lays for you. In request by Chris, of course.

His frown tightened even more when he ended up leaning against the door to your room, watching you sleep, entirely motionless and his heart could feel the pricks of dread creep onto his heart for the hundredth time. He was feeling completely down in the dumps since you haven't woken up and it was tearing him apart.

(Just imagine him with the beard first, he’ll get to shave it soon. Hehehe)

"Dorito," Anthony revealed himself and appeared to walk beside him. A solemn look on his face. "You okay, man?"

It took a second for his friend to reply, "It's been three days," he lowly uttered, swallowing the sadness away, his melancholic blue eyes fixated on your form with his eyebrows cinched tight together. "She hasn't woken up since the last three days and I don't know if she will,"

"And you haven't taken at least one decent meal since the day it happened," his friend said with utmost concern. Anthony glance back to where people were encircled around a lit up bonfire. Y/N's boyfriend looking like he was having the best night of his life as he chugged on some beer while talking to some brunette lass. "You look more worried than William over there," he gestured to the back.

"Psh," Chris suddenly reacted, giving no attention to Y/N's boyfriend because as he was walking towards her room, he saw how her lover was coping up to her coma. He was enjoying.

"What kind of boyfriend even is he?" said Chris as he shook his head in disdain as he continued to state a fact. "You know your girlfriend's over here in a coma and he hasn't even visited her," the man mindlessly spat, sounding in much seeth.

"He did," Anthony butted in with a small grin. Remembering the day he saw William visit Y/N for five minutes and never came back. "But, it was only one time!" said the latter who was too irked to even talk about it.

"Kid was telling me he was scared to see her almost close to dying,"

"The kid's an asshat," Chris stated with a raise of his brow, folding his arms against his chest. "Woah, woah. Chris, you sound like a jealous man," There was no doubt, a little tone of mockery in his words. The latter huffed to himself as his eyes continued to gaze at your unmoving form.

"You sure you only see her as your baby sister?"

Chris continued to scowl as he was hearing him out. "What if you actually see yourself as her dad?" Anthony added with a huge grin that made him give him the stink eye.

"I sure as hell don't see you looking at her like she's your baby sister," His friend interrogated him as he was just stating the obvious. Chris couldn't say anything back. "You look at her very differently than you look at your real sisters," Anthony paused, lightly shoving Chris's shoulder to enlighten him. "Everybody knows how you look at her,"

"How do I even look at her, Anthony?" questioned Chris in curiosity. His eyes completely unreadable. Definitely blank. He was an actor after all. "You give her the look whenever the Russo's shout action as Steve Rogers stares at Peggy Carter," his friend trailed off.

"I know she's young and all, but she's legal and I don't see anything wrong about it--" Anthony added for Chris, smirking in the process as a thought came in mind. "--That didn't stop Henry Cavill from dating a 19 year old woman back then,"

Chris couldn't help a snicker leave his cherry red lips, "Stop before he hears you," he quietly chortled. Shaking his head at his friend's abrupt theories. "As I was saying," added Anthony with a nod. "Know your priorities, follow your heart because it's already the end of the world, Dude."

"--I thought Resident Evil or the Walking dead wasn't real, but here we are."

There was a sudden silence that wrapped them both together. Their gazes fixated on you who seemed to be barely alive from your lack of presence. No matter what Chris does in his everyday life, he couldn't get to push himself harder because of the reality that you were facing.

He couldn't accept that maybe it was because of him. You got hurt because he wasn't around.

"Try and think about your feelings and stop being serious like Steve Rogers. It's freaking me out, "

Feelings. All Chris felt was platonic. In his head, he knows his actions meant nothing. It was neither romantic nor sexual. Yet, to some of his close friends or family knew his heart says otherwise.

"Anthony, I'm not in love with her," His forehead creased a little too deeply at his sudden confession. His heart feeling as if it began to drop more stones on top of it.

"Sureeee, Christopher." bantered Anthony, his voice entirely full of contempt. "You know, you're too old to be an indenial boy already."

The guilty man huffed at the back of his mind as he tightly bit his lip to refrain from saying anything more. His words earlier seem like it wasn't right. It feels as if he made himself more frustrated and overwrought. He anxiously bit the underside of his own lips as he blankly stared out of nowhere, seeming to be in too deep inside his thoughts.

To catch his friend's attention, Anthony managed to tap his shoulder to rip him off from drifting into another world.

"So, what's the deal for tomorrow?"

Chris did a double-take, his expression solemn as he was staring straight at your motionless body laying peacefully on top of the hospital bed. He subtly cleared his throat, eyebrows knotted in a twist.

"We head to Maryland, bring back survivors since Scarlett had evidences that there are atleast thirty of them. Some are kids. Some are already suffering from starvation. We might need tons of back-up because the place can be a trap. Lots of infected come by there every now and then as it was said by Hiddleston. We need to take risks,"

Anthony kept his eyes fixated on his friend. A small grin plastered on his face as it reached from ear to ear. "Noted, Cap."

"Shut it, Ant." he playfully spat with another shake of his head. Chest puffed up and arms folded together.

"Stop being an indenial bitch before it's too late,"

"I told you, I can only see her as--"

Anthony interrupted his sentence like he knew what he was about to say next, "--my baby sister, nothing more. Nothing less. Alright, alright. I'll leave you to it,"

Chris seemed to drift off somewhere after a minute or two. His thoughts suddenly were in a haywire just by looking at you and it was frustrating him why he was feeling stressed because of everything.

It's not like living in a zombie apocalypse wasn't as stressful as before.

Anthony gave Chris a manly pat on his back, turning around his heels with a smile. "I've managed to sneak up a stack of Heineken when we were back at that abandoned mall. Caesar and his friends had it,"

Chris had his eyes solely on you, his lively blue eyes now filled with dread and uncertainty. Staring at every bruise on every parts of your body and cursing the heavens why Caesar had found you vulnerable to the point that he wanted to dominate you into demise.

Chris wasn't in love with you. No. It was impossible.

Anthony's laugh pulled him off his head space. His next words making him lift a small smile on  his face.

"You're free to chug it all down, man."

Ya’ like it? GO REBLOG AND GIVE THIS POST A HEART! Heehee!

XOXO, TATA

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: Guardians Of The Galaxy

Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews As We Continue Our Look At The Marvel Cinematic Universe...

By Talking About The Guardians Of The Galaxy...

And I Have To Admit Before This Movie Came Out I Knew Who The Guardians Of The Galaxy Were As I Saw Them In The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes Animated Series The Possibility Of Me Wanting To See Them In A Movie Wasn't Too Bright But I Still Wasn't With Everyone Else Who At The Time Believed It Was Going To Bomb

So, When Trailers Came Out, I Was Excited To See The Film So I Eventually Saw It...

The Film Is About A Ravager Named Peter Quill (Played By Chris Pratt) Who Goes By Star Lord Who Forms An Uneasy Alliance With The Daughter Of Thanos, Gamora (Played By Zoe Saldana) A Green Warrior Who Seeks Revenge Named Drax (Played By Dave Batista) A Wisecracking Raccoon Named Rocket (Voiced By Bradley Cooper) And A Walking Tree Named Groot (Voiced By Vin Diesel) Who Go On The Run After Stealing A Powerful Artifact...

Will They Manage To Get Rid Of This Artifact Before Ronan The Accuser (Played By Lee Pace) And The Other Daughter Of Thanos, Nebula (Played By Karen Gillian) Find Them?

Let's Find Out As We Watch Guardians Of The Galaxy..

The Film Starts On Earth In 1988, As A Young Peter Quill Is At A Hospital Where His Mom Is Dying From A Tumor In Her Head...

Yes, It Is Arnold So Shut Up...

Anyway, With His Mother Not Having Much Time Left, His Uncle (I Guess?) Played By James Gunn And Joss Whedon Regular Gregg Henry Brings Peter In To Say Goodbye To His Mom, But Not Wanting To Say Goodbye To His Mom, Peter Runs Out Of The Hospital Only To Be Abducted By Aliens...

Only To Time Jump 26 Years Later To The Planet Morag, Where A Now Grown Up Peter (Played By Chris Pratt) Who Goes By Star-Lord Arrives On His Ship The Milano (Named After Alyssa Milano)...

Well, At Least It Isn't Named After Rose McGowan...

To Get An Item On The Planet Which Leads To One The Best Scenes In This Movie...

The Opening Credits...

And By God, This Scene Is Just Fantastic Despite Them Ruining It In Avengers Endgame...

(Start At 0:26, End At 0:40)

You See What You've Done, Russo Brothers! You've Made The Fanboys Cry! It's Okay, This Scene Is Awesome....Shh...

Eventually Finding And Geting What He's Looking For, Star-Lord Is Soon Confronted By One Of Ronan The Accuser's Warriors Korath The Pursuer Who Wants What He's Got But He's Like Screw This And Decides To Fight Them...

(Start At 1:00, End At 2:50)

Being Contacted By His Boss, Yondu (Played By Another James Gunn Regular Michael Rooker) He Asks Quill Where He Is But He Decides Not To Tell Him That And Says That He's Keeping The Orb For Himself Which Leads Yondu To Put A Bounty Out On Quill While Worrying About Who Else Wanted The Orb...

Which Leads To The Introduction Of The Big Bad Of The Film, Ronan The Accuser (Played By Ned The Piemaker) On Board His Ship, The Dark Aster. Who Decides Not To Abide By The Treaty His People, The Kree Have Signed With The Xandarians Of Xandar Recently Because He Believes Their Culture To Be A Disease Upon The Galaxy...

And They Killed His Family So Many Years Ago...

Well, That Might Be A Good Reason To Want To Kill Them...

With Korath Returning, He Tells Ronan About Star-Lord And Says That He's On His Way To Xandar To Give It To Someone Called The Broker, Wanting To Retrieve The Orb To Give It To Thanos So He Can Wipe Out Xandar In Repayment For His Services, Ronan Sends One Of Thanos' Daughters, Gamora (Played By Lieutenant Uhura) To Retrieve It For Him From Star Lord On Xandar...

Cutting To Xandar We Get Our Stan Lee Cameo When Rocket (Played By Faceman) And Groot (Played By Dominic Torretto) Look For Potential Targets To Get Money For...

Stan Lee Cameo!

Eventually Star Lord, Rocket Sees How Much He's Worth And Turns Out...

It's Alot So They Decide To Go After Him...

Taking The Orb To The Broker In His Shop, Star-Lord Mentions That Ronan Was After It Which Forces The Broker To Say No Thank You To The Orb And Tells Star Lord To Get Out As He's Afraid For His Life...

Running Into Gamora, She Steals The Orb From Star Lord Which Leads To A Fight Between The Two But When Rocket And Groot Get Involved Someone Calls In The Nova Corp Led By Mr. Cellophane Himself, John C. Riley And They Arrest All 4 Of Them...

Back At Nova Corp HQ, Nova Prime, Played By Cruella De Vil Tries To Get The Kree To Work With Them In Stopping Ronan But They're Too Busy Trying To Find Captain Marvel And The Skrulls To Give A Shit...

Meanwhile, Downstairs Riley Who Actually Plays A Character Named Dey Shows His Boss, The Tick, Star Lord And The Others And He Decides To Send Them To A High Security Prison Called The Kyln...

Given Prison Garb, They're All Mixed In With All The Other Prisoners, One Of Them Being Voiced By Nathan Fillion...

Seriously!?! You Have The Most Badass Browncoat In The Verse And You Only Use Him For A Voice Over Character?!? Screw You, Marvel, Screw You!

Being Taken That Night By Prisoners Who Have Lost Their Families To Either Ronan Or Thanos, They're Stopped By Drax The Destroyer (Played By Dave Batista) Who Wants To Kill Gamora Himself In Revenge For Ronan Killing His Family Despite Gamora Saying Earlier That She Wasn't Getting The Orb For Ronan But For A Third Party Seller...

Not Believing Gamora, Star Lord Intervenes To Say That Because She's Betraying Ronan It's Most Likely That Ronan Will Come Get Her Eventually Which Will Give Drax The Opportunity To Kill Him, So Knowing Star-Lord Is Right He Lets Her Go...

Taking Her Back To Her Cell, Star Lord Wants In On Gamora's Deal Despite Rocket Wanting To Take Star Lord To Yondu After They Escape But After Hearing Gamora's Buyer Is Paying More For The Orb Than Yondu Is For Star Lord, Rocket And Groot Are In...

Summoned By Thanos When They Discover Gamora Had Her Own Plans, Ronan Explains To Thanos What Has Happened Despite The Other Not Helping The Situation So Ronan Kills Him...

Bored By Ronan's Words, Thanos Just Says That He Will Honor The Agreement He Made If Ronan Brings Him The Orb If Not...Well I Think You Know What Will Happen...

Coming Up With An Escape Plan, Which Includes One Of The Security Guards Bands, A Prisoner's Prosthetic Leg And A Quarnyx Battery By The Control Tower, Groot Gets It For Them Which Forces Them To Place Their Plan Into Action Now...

(Start At 0:30)

Asking For The Coordinates For Her Buyer, Gamora Says That They're Going The Right Way And That She'll Contact Him While Back At The Kyln, Ronan, Thanos' Other Daughter, Nebula (Played By Ruby Roundhouse) And Some Of His Soldiers Invade To Find Out Where Gamora And The Orb Went To No Avail...

Back On Xandar, Yondu Discovers Through The Broker What Is In The Orb And Who His Buyer Is And It Turns Out That It's The Collector (Played By DJ The Codebreaker)...

But Wait A Minute...

Doesn't The Collector Have The Aether? And Didn't Volstagg Say In Thor: The Dark World Say That Having 2 Infinity Stones In One Place Is A Bad Idea?

Arriving At The Place Where The Collector Is Dubbed Knowhere, The Team Gets Drinks And Has Some Fun While Waiting For The Collector...

Going Outside To Talk With Gamora, It Leads To A Bit Of A Romantic Scene With Her And Star Lord, Until Gamora Backs Away Believing That Star Lord Is Pulling A Human Trick On Her. But Hearing Noise Inside, They Go In To See Drax, Rocket And Groot Having A Drunken Fight With Each Other...

Luckily Before They Kill Each Other, The Collector's Assistant Comes In To Get Them For Her Master...

Entering The Collector's Wherehouse, They See Some Of The Things He's Collected Including Cosmo The Space Dog Before The Team Is Introduced To The Collector Himself...

Opening The Orb, It Is Revealed To Be An Infinity Stone Which Leads The Collector To Tell The Team About How After The Big Bang, Six Infinity Stones Were Created And Wielded By Beings With Extraordinary Strength Though The Energy From Said Stones Eventually Wiped Them All Out...

Not Hearing That Whole Infinity Stone Speech Apparently, The Collector's Assistant Takes The Stone And Basically Destroys His Entire Collection, Which Forces The Team To Take The Stone Elsewhere With Gamora And Star-Lord Suggesting The Nova Corp...

But While Star-Lord, Gamora, Rocket And Groot Were Dealing With The Collector, Drax Had Someone Call Ronan And His Forces So He Could Get His Revenge...

(Start At 0:54)

With Ronan Defeating Drax And Getting The Stone Along With Nebula Destroying Gamora's Spacecraft, Star Lord Calls Yondu's Ship To Pick Them Up As He Goes Out To Save Gamora By Giving Her His Oxygen Mask...

Luckily (Unlike Yondu Himself) Star Lord And Gamora Are Saved By Yondu Before Star Lord Can Die...

Groot Saves Drax Who Was Mostly Dead (And As We All Know There's A Difference Between Mostly Dead And All Dead) Admits He Was A Fool For Calling Ronan Blaming It On The Grief And Anger Over The Loss Of His Family...

As Rocket Arrives To Get Groot So They Can Get As Far Away As They Can From Ronan And His Forces Before They Wipe Out Xandar And Possibly The Entire Galaxy, But Groot Wants To Stay And Save His New Friends Along With Drax To Rocket's Dismay...

Meanwhile On The Dark Aster, After Discovering What Thanos Wanted, Ronan Betrays Thanos And Takes The Stone For Himself To Use To Destroy Xandar And Once He Is Done, Destroy Thanos Himself With Nebula By Ronan's Side...

On-Board Yondu's Ravager Ship, Star Lord And Gamora Manage To Make A Deal With Yondu And His Ravagers To Help Them Take Down Ronan In Exchange For The Stone To Which Yondu Agrees Despite Rocket And The Others Trying To Save Star Lord And Gamora...

The Team Argues While Coming Up With A Plan But Star Lord Eventually Gives Everyone A Reason "To Give A Shit And Not Run Away" Which Gets Them To Stand By Him...

So, The New Plan Is That Rocket Will Lead A Team That Will Blow A Hole Into The Dark Aster's Starboard Hull So The Milano And Yondu's Craft Can Enter The Ship. After That Gamora Will Deactivate A Impenetrable Shield To The Main Deck Where Ronan Is So Star Lord Can Use The Rocket's Hadron Enforcer To Kill Ronan...

They Give The Ravagers Containment Cases For The Stone While Star Lord Contacts Dey From The Nova Corp To Try To Get Them To Help Them Save Xandar...

With Everyone On The Team Except Groot Surviving (For Now) They're Surprised To See Ronan Survived As Well. About To Wipe Xandar Out, Star Lord Pulls A Last Ditch Effort Of A Dance Off To Distract Ronan While Rocket Prepares To Fire The Hadron Enforcer At Ronan...

Firing It At Ronan's Hammer, Rocket Destroys It So Star Lord Can Get The Stone, Unable To Handle The Energy The Team Takes Each Others Hands To Take A Piece Of The Energy For Themselves...

Using The Power Of The Stone To Wipe Ronan Out, Star Lord Places The Stone In One Of The Containers Only To Give It To Yondu Despite Begging Him To Reconsider...

Yep, Star Lord Gives Yondu A Fake And Gives The Real Stone To The Nova Corp, Who Discover That Star Lord's Mother Is An Earthling But His Father Is Something Else Entirely While Drax Decides Ronan Was Just A Puppet And That It's Really Thanos He Needs To Kill...

Also For Helping Them With Ronan The Nova Corp Gives The Team A New Ship Along With Clean Criminal Records, Oh And We Discover Groot's Alive...

As The Guardians Fly Off On Another Adventure Which Leads To The Mid Credit Scene Of The Movie With...

Dancing Groot...

And What Can I Say About This Scene? You've Heard About It, You Love It, Who Doesn't? It's Cute And Funny Period....

After The Credits Role We Get A End Credits Scene Back At The Collector's Wherehouse Where We Get A Cameo From Howard The Duck (Voiced By Seth Green)

And That's Guardians Of The Galaxy And What Can I Say About It Except It's One Of The MCU'S Best...

The Story Is Fantastic, The Characters Are Well Written, The Effects Are Awesome And I Honestly Have No Complaints For This Movie Whatsoever And I Say See It...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke And Next Week We're Looking At Age Of Ultron!