#and she just goes rigid with fear and then i realise i can hear breathing and it’s not either of us. and i look at the corner of the room

[fingertipsmp3]

Had another sleep paralysis incident last night

[hoodieofholland]

request: trying 69 with Tom ?? 🖤

A/n: excuse me, i loved the idea! Really fun to write, i went all the way from fluffy to filthy and fluffy again, lol, anywaysss. It got quite long, hope you like it!

Pairing: boyfriend!tom x female reader

Warnings: smut (minors dni); extended warnings bellow the cut.

Masterlist

Let me know your thoughts on this!!

+warnings: oral (f and m receiving, 69 basically); fingering (f receiving), dirty talk.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Tom grabs the smooth flesh of your ass, giving it a firm squeeze, while you keep working your lips over the sensitive spot on his neck, right bellow his ear. You hear a choked groan coming out of his lips.

"Baby-", he bites his lips, almost losing his thoughts when you grind over his crotch. "Baby, can't get marks"

His protests are weak, and you know very well he's pondering between the pleasure you're giving and his commitment with work; Tom had already warned you that he couldn't get any marks on his skin right now, as the shooting for Spider-Man was still going on.

You smile apologetically.

"Sorry, Tommy", you press a tender kiss over the spot and raise your head to look at him. "Just missed you. Been aching to get my mouth on you." You brush your nose against his, closing your eyes as you just feel the proximity between the two of you. "It's been a time."

You and Tom have had a hard time trying to conciliate both schedules, with his filming and your work, and that was the first weekend both of you got some time off to enjoy the company of each other. Obviously, you agreed on skip the movie and cuddles you both used to enjoy the time alone to relieve the need of touching you two had grown since three weeks ago.

"Yeah?", Tom enjoys the sensation of your tenderness, among the sensuality of your hips swirling slowly over his lap. He feels the pure bliss while closing his eyes and bringing his lips to grave over yours, pecking every then and now. "Missed you too, darling. So, so much".

You tease him, hands going down his torso until reached the waistband of his boxers. "Gonna show me?", you smirk, finger lingering around the fabric.

Tom smiles, grabbing you by the waist and in a skilled movement, flipping your positions. Under his toned body, you have to catch your breath, hands sliding down the sides of his torso whilst bringing him closer.

"Wanna feel close to you, baby", he murmurs, eyes focused on yours. "Show you how much I appreciate you", he releases a quiet pleased sigh as you wrap your legs around his hips, pulling his lower half closer to you. "Just wanna take it slow tonight, y'know".

You smile at his sweetness, though you knew you had other plans running through your mind.

Tom drops his head down to kiss the space between your boobs, his lips tracing a wet path on your skin. You tug your hands on his hair, feeling the soft curls.

You bite your lips, remembering the thoughts you had about something you wanted to try with him just a couple of days ago. It came out from a not so innocent chat you had with one of your closest friends, who asked if you have ever done sixty-nine before. You thought to yourself it wasn't a big deal that you haven't, as you always imagined the position a bit messy and uncomfortable for both of partners, but then she made it pretty clear that your fears were making you lose something you might quite enjoy.

So there were you, thinking how you'd bring it up with Tom, when he was already so close to your core. You squirmed a bit, sucking on your lower lip nervously.

"Tom?" Your voice comes out as a whisper, and Tom doesn't take his mouth away from your skin, lips hovering over your hips as his tongue licked on it. He hums, giving vibrations that tickled you, making you giggle a bit. "Can- uh, can we try something?"

He stops the moves of his tongue, looking up at you, lips pursed in a mischievous smirk. "You wanna try something?", he asks and you nod sheepishly. "And what is it?"

His mouth goes back to work on your skin, but his eyes didn't leave yours. He was working you up, teasing you, and you could feel and arousal between your legs grow with every light bite of his on your belly.

"I was thinking..." you suck in a breath. "I could give you a blowjob..."

"I like the sound of that", he smirks playfully and you roll your eyes, shoving his shoulder lightly. He laughs. "Go ahead".

"As I was saying", you sigh quietly and readjust your body in bed, propping your elbows on the mattress to lift your back. "I give you a blow, while- well, while you eat me out".

Tom stops on his tracks again, but the mischievous smile wasn't plastered on his face anymore. If anything, he looked surprised, taken aback by the sudden propose.

"You mean, you wanna do the 69?" He asks, sounding baffled, but it quickly changes into an eager manner. "Hell, yes".

You blink a few times and sigh in relieve. You and Tom were always up to new things, and you had promised each other that whenever one of you felt like trying something new, you'd always be open and talk about it. However, it got into your nerves anyways.

Tom made his way back to meet your face, kissing you fervently.

"And what about the go slow thing?" You pant, amused by the way he seemed to change his mind.

"Yeah, yeah, we can have it later", he is quick to dismiss. "Right now, I just wanna a little taste of you".

You nod eagerly, pretty much satisfied with how quick he has agreed with you. Hands tangled in his curls, you watch as he goes down on you again, much faster now, until reaching your panties. Tom taps the sides of your hips, and you lift it to help him get the piece of cloth off.

"Shit, darling" he eyes your glistening center, head dropping to get closer. "Can't wait to put my mouth on this sweet pussy".

Tom doesn't seem to contain himself as he licks a long strip of your heat, making you whimper.

"Not fair", you say while pulling him away from your core. "C'mon, don't get me distracted".

He chuckles before kneeling down on bed, taking his boxers out. "I don't think I could. You look very determined".

When he's fully naked, you give him space to lay on bed, a smirk proudly hanging on his face.

"C'me here, suit yourself" he pats his rigid thighs with both hands, and you can't help but laugh at how comfortable he's with it.

You make your way to sit on his lap, gasping lightly at the contact of his thigh with your exposed pussy.

"Have you ever done this before? You don't look... nervous or anything", you ask timidly, holding on hands Tom gave you for support.

He smiles softly. "Have never. It's just that I'm excited whenever we're trying something different. I like that you trust me enough for this".

You blush and bite your lip to hide a smile.

"Me too, Tommy".

He rubs your hips with affection and look at you in awe. "Good. But now, love, I think you're facing the wrong side".

You roll your eyes and shake your head, laughing a bit. "I know, dork".

You reposition yourself, sitting on Tom's abs, feeling a little nervous while you face his hard cock. It's a beautiful sight, the outlined veins, the red tip almost as a claim for you to give him some sort of satisfaction and you sigh to try to relax your nerves.

Tom holds your hips and help you to adjust, which ends up creating a great friction between his toned abs and your cunt, making you release a low moan.

"Fuck, the view I have right now... You wouldn't believe", he says and you clench around nothing. You can now hear the smirk on his face. "You like it, don't you, darling? Such a dirty girl. Come here, need you a little closer"

You turn your head back to do as you were told and feel the heat on your cheeks once you see the hungry look on Tom's face. "Just like that", he squeezes your butt, giving a light kiss on one cheek. "Is it alright, love?"

You take in a shaky breath and nod.

"Do you wanna me to start?" He asks sweetly, worry in his voice. You can tell he's trying to catch any kind of discomfort in you, if you're still willing to do so. "If you don't want to, we can stop-"

"No", you shake your head firmly. "I want it. Just a bit nervous, I guess".

He gives you a reassurance smile and rubs his thumb over your hips. "It's okay, love. But if you feel like you are not enjoying it, just use the safe-word, alright? I'll stop".

You smile back at him and nod. You shouldn't be nervous. It was Tom, after all, and you always feel so safe and comfortable around him. So you turn your head again, focused on calming your nerves down. Looking at his hard, you realised it was just a matter of doing what you always did - and liked pretty much doing. You lowered your head and licked your lips, giving his tip a light kiss as to tease him a bit.

You feel Tom squirm under you at the minimum contact, his cock twisting in expectation.

"Fuck, y/n", he breaths out, "Shit, it's going to be hard to focus".

You giggle and try to lick a long line from his base to the tip, which made him curse.

"Alright, you wanna play", you could hear the smirk once more and jolted when felt the wetness of his hot tongue flat against your core.

"Fuck, Tom", you moan, hiding your hips back to earn more friction. You loved his tongue, you loved just how he always knew what he was doing with it and how he knew to tease you, making you ask for more.

His tongue invades you, collecting your wetness before pushing in and out of you in a quick and steady pace. It feels firm and thick inside of you and your eyes roll back to the pleasure.

"Thought it was supposed to be both of us at the same time, darling", he teases at your lack of action, sucking on your lips harshly, "Guess it's not just as simple, is it?"

You gasp before snapping yourself back to reality. You wanted to take that smug attitude out of him as much as you wanted to take him on your mouth, so you focus on your work.

Taking his cock on your hand, you pump it a few times before putting a small length on your mouth, opening it wider. Adjusting your jaw, you took what you could get from him, tip hitting the back of your throat.

"Fuck, fuck", he pants, hips jerking up to your mouth. "Perfect mouth, you have. God-"

You smile proudly with he still on your mouth, moaning around him when he kitten licks your clit.

You bob your head up and down, eyes tearing up with the effort, but still pleased as you felt Tom burying his face on your heat, as concentrated to get you off.

In a matter of minutos, both of you were a mess on the bed, pants and moans loud enough to make one another go further, deeper, faster. Your jaw hurt with the intensity of your movements, but you couldn't care less. It was pure bliss, the way your walls clenched around Tom's tongue, and the way the would throb on your mouth, drool rolling down your chin.

You noticed that your thoughts on the new position were right, it wasn't the most comfortable one, and it was certainly messy, as one of you would always end up jerking hips or have your faces covered in each other's arousal. But it was good - none of that mattered, cause it felt good to have Tom on this position, and turned you on to imagine he was doing all of that with your cunt and you couldn't even watch it.

When you felt the pressure building on your belly, you took him out of your mouth, replacing it with your hand. "'M close".

"Yeah?" He shook his head rapidly on your folds, tongue out, and you moaned his name. "Come for me, baby. Wanna taste your cum on my tongue".

You try to focus on his release as the feeling was taking over you. It was hard, but you put your mouth around him again, sucking him off.

"Fuck, darling, gonna come on your mouth", he pants, hips jerking while his fingers entered your hole to stimulate you more. "C'mon, pretty. Yeah, that's it, love, give it to me"

"Tom-"

Your climax hits you in intense waves of pleasure, your toes curling and legs shaking. You moan around Tom, closing your eyes, and you can't control the work of your mouth anymore. In the lack of anything to hold on to, you grip the sheets beneath you.

Tom feels your reaction and it only coax his own climax, shooting his cum in your mouth, with your tongue laid flat against his length, sending vibrations on him. He curses all the way, riding you out of your orgasm with his fingers lazily working inside of you.

With your mouth full of his cum, you release his cock and swallow every drip of him, catching your breath and falling apart on the top of Tom.

His breath is heavy under you, and after a few seconds trying to collect yourself again, you decide it's time to lay down straight. You catch a sight of him collecting your release from his messy face, cleaning his fingers up with his mouth, and if it wasn't for the powerful orgasm you just had, you'd have whined just at the view.

Tom helps you, and your head feel dizzy as you lay beside him. He puts one arm around you, bringing you closer to his chest, and you lay your head there.

"You okay?" He asks, kissing the top of your head. You smile lazily, still taken by the euphoria of your orgasm, and nod. "So... did you like the new position?"

Still smiling, you look up at him, fingers caressing his jaw.

"Loved it" you press a soft kiss on his lips, "Thank you".

"Thank you" he smiles tenderly, a contrast from the previous actions and words. "For trusting me. You're amazing, love. And I'm more than happy to be the one you try new things with".

[minor-solemnity]

Invention and Intrigue pt.4

Tag List: @jinxqsu​ @naps-and-lemons​ @riddles-wifey​ @mainlynonsense @cakesarecute

You look at him and see raw, unfiltered ambition, power and intellect combining to create a formidable young man who won’t be satisfied until the world is remade in his vision. You also see the way he looks at you, as though you are something precious and fierce and delicate and dangerous in your own right. He isn’t afraid of violence, you think he might enjoy it, but when he touches you, he’s gentle and careful. Protective and maybe a touch possessive. 

You still spend a lot of your evenings with Tom. The only difference being that he touches you more often seems to reach for you without conscious thought or effort. You’ll be sit side by side and his fingers will tap rhythmically on your upturned palm. He’ll kiss your cheek after he’s walked you back to your common room and when he leaves, he’ll pause before letting your hand drop from his, as though he has to consciously remind himself to let you go. For someone who so rarely displays joy in physical proximity in public, he is surprisingly demanding behind closed doors. You’re charmed. 

In public, you both keep your distance. You smile at him politely in the halls and he nods in acknowledgement in return. You like it this way. It makes the moments when his guards drop that much more satisfying, and honestly, you’re not sure you’d be able to stand Melanie’s excited gushing if she were to find out that you were dating. 

There’s also the matter of his Slytherin cohort. 

If you were a more idealistic person, you would probably be annoyed by the fact that he keeps his distance. You would probably question what you are to him. If he viewed you as something fun to pass the time with, but not good enough to be seen in public with. You’re not an idiot, no matter how much you might act like it sometimes; you know that your blood plays a large role in why he is so keen to keep your budding relationship a secret. 

But you aren’t a more idealistic person and therefore you understand perfectly that his friends (though really, you’re not sure if you can call the boys he spends time with his friends) would likely abandon him if they knew about you. You’re honestly not sure how Tom even managed to build such a loyal following in the first place. You’ve not spoken about it, but you’re aware that Riddle isn’t a pureblood surname.

And so you spend two glorious months sheltering your relationship from the world, wrapped safely in your shared love of magic and the possibilities it holds and, more often than not, the green blanket that Tom had gifted you. 

It’s on one of these nights in early summer, when the sun has only just started to set, and you’re making the most of the warmer weather that it all goes horribly wrong. 

Tom leaves you in the entrance hall because he is Head Boy and apparently that means he has responsibilities that don’t include walking you back to your common room. You’re halfway up the steps to the first floor when the stunning jinx hits you. Distantly you hear footsteps and then there is a shadow looming over you and a familiar loud cackle ringing in your ears before everything fades to darkness.

You come to in a classroom you vaguely recognise as the one that Tom had taken you to when you’d kissed for the first time. You spare a moment to appreciate with grim irony that you weren’t wrong in your prediction that going into the dungeons would lead to (a probably very painful) death. Lestrange stands in front of you and your heart starts hammering when you see he’s holding your wand loosely in one hand whilst his own is pointed directly at your chest. You glance at the door behind him, wondering briefly if you try and make a run for it, but Lestrange is bigger, stronger and faster than you and without your wand, you are more or less helpless against him. “People like you contaminate everything,” He spits. You know exactly what he’s talking about. He must have seen you with Tom, must have realised what you were to him. By the looks of it, he isn’t best pleased. In fact, his aristocratic features practically distort themselves under the weight of his disgust.

Lestrange raises his wand and you are preparing yourself to welcome death with open arms when the door slams open. Tom is a rigid pillar of anger. There’s absolutely nothing behind his eyes and whilst he isn’t the most expressive person under normal circumstances, it’s nothing compared to the blank, cold rage that you see in him now. In front of you, Lestrange stills, something flashes in his eyes that you think might be fear before it fades. “Stay out of this, Riddle, if you know what’s good for you,” He says, and he’s angry, yes, disdainful and haughty, but you don’t miss the slight hesitation in his voice.

Tom doesn’t either because the mirror that is his expression cracks and a slow, cruel smile twists his upper lip. He looks terrifying and you’ve never been more grateful to see him. “Put your wand down,” He says, and it’s soft, cajoling, completely at odds with the predatory gleam in his eyes. “Put your wand down and look at me.” 

And the thing is, Lestrange does. If you were unconvinced of the sway that Tom holds over his peers before, you aren’t any longer. You think that they would walk through fiendfyre if he ordered them to. Tom doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move a muscle. He isn’t even holding his wand and a thought begins to form in your mind that he might just tell Lestrange to leave. You hope he doesn’t. You don’t care if it’s cruel of you, but you want him to suffer. 

Lestrange makes a strange choking noise, and it takes you a moment to realise that he’s trying to suppress a sob. For a moment, you wonder how Tom is managing it without his wand but then you remember the book he’d been reading months ago and your wonder morphs into shock and then awe. Legilimency. 

With his back turned to you, you can’t see what’s playing across his features, but his hands are shaking and your wand clatters to the ground. Seeing the opportunity for what it is, you dart forward and scoop it up, immediately feeling safer and less afraid. Tom motions for you to join him, and for the first time since he appeared something resembling human emotion flashes across his face. As soon you’re close, he wraps an arm around you and presses his mouth against the top of your head in a vague approximation of a kiss. From where you’re now standing, you can see Lestrange’s expression all too clearly. His features are no longer distorted in disgust but rather in anguish. Eyes wide and unseeing, he shakes in front of you, any sense of superiority reduced to ash.

“Leave.” A single word. An order, a command and Lestrange is scrambling out of the room. It’s only when you can no longer hear his footsteps that your breath hitches and you begin to shake. You’re not sure how long you stand there, face buried in the folds of Tom’s robes, his hands rubbing gentle, comforting circles against your back, but finally, you begin to calm down enough to disentangle yourself from him. He leads you back out of the dungeons and towards safety.

When you get to the entrance hall, Tom turns and offers you his hand. “Walk with me.” His eyes are still hard, as though he still hasn’t shaken the cold contempt he’d exhibited earlier. 

He must see the trepidation play out across your face because his expression softens marginally, dark eyes searching yours almost imploringly. Slowly, tentatively, you reach out and curl your much smaller hand in his. The dry warmth of his skin seeps through you, calming you in a way that you’re not sure is entirely advisable. 

Six months ago, you had thought of Tom Riddle as an enigmatic, child prodigy. The finest wizard to step through the gates at Hogwarts since Albus Dumbledore himself. A portrait of politeness and charm. Now you look at him and see raw, unfiltered ambition, power and intellect combining to create a formidable young man who won’t be satisfied until the world is remade in his vision. You also see the way he looks at you, as though you are something precious and fierce and delicate and dangerous in your own right. He isn’t afraid of violence, you think he might enjoy it, but when he touches you, he’s gentle and careful. Protective and maybe a touch possessive. 

It’s an intimidating thought, to say the least. To feel safe and assured in his presence is probably akin to self-destruction, but here you are: walking, hand in hand, through the rose garden. 

“You know, I thought I had a good idea of what my future would look like,” He murmurs, running his thumb across the back of your hand. You hum noncommittally because your suspicion that his interest in the darker aspects of magic isn’t entirely academic is now confirmed. He has plans for his future, and now, you suppose, he has plans for yours too. “I think that the future might look very different from now on.”

“How so?” 

“I’ve decided to take Slughorn’s advice and go into politics.” The words themselves don’t surprise you. Tom’s ambition, his intelligence, his ruthlessness all spell the beginnings of a lucrative career in politics. What surprises you is the fact that this wasn’t his original plan. But then you think about how you even came to know him and what drew you to each other in the first place and you begin to understand that Tom’s plans likely never constituted anything you could call legal. “When I first came to Hogwarts, I knew immediately that if I wanted to get anywhere in this world, I would have to ingratiate myself with the old families. They’re the ones who hold the real political power in this society. They’re the ones who have the final say on what legislature passes and what fails before it even reaches the Wizengamot. I’ve worked hard to… cultivate a loyal following, purebloods who will carry out my will without complaint.”

That still leaves you though. You’re not so modest that you’re unaware that you are, at least, a factor in Tom’s change of heart but that still doesn’t erase the unspoken issue that Lestrange’s actions had dragged into the light. “They might complain if you were to be seen with me, Tom. They will complain.” You sigh and regret for a future that has not yet come pass fills you. You can see it now, Tom, as Minister for Magic (because you cannot imagine that he would settle for less) with a beautiful pureblood wife to give him credibility in the eyes of a traditionalist society. “As you said, they’re the ones with the real power.”

“You misunderstand me.” He says and he leads you to a bench where you both sit. He turns his body towards you, sitting so close that your knees knock against his. He doesn’t let go of your hand, instead, he interlaces your fingers, holds it against his chest. You don’t want to hope that maybe this isn’t the end like it surely must be, but you find yourself hoping nonetheless. “They’re weak,” He says plainly. “They’re weak and they’re frightened. Lestrange attacked you from behind and stole your wand because he is afraid of you. I would burn their entire world to the ground for you.” He pauses and then smiles, slightly sinister, slightly cruel, entirely lovely. “As it stands, I merely intend to irrevocably change it. They will follow if they know what’s good for them.” 

Melanie says that you’re dramatic, but you don’t think you hold a candle to Tom. Conviction and sincerity blaze across his face and you can’t look away. You pull the hand which is still wrapped tightly around yours to you and kiss his knuckles. “I'll be with you every step of the way.”

END

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)

A/N: Tom becomes minister for magic - his political enemies always seem to mysteriously disappear or otherwise change their minds. Reader makes sure that no one can prove anything tho. The Statute of Secrecy is dismantled and integration is in baybee. 

[pars-ley]

Our Little Secret

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Summary: A relaxing spa session ends up being much less therapeutic than you imagine but you get much more than you thought possible.

Genre: One shot / smut / masseuse au 

Rating: 18+ (NSFW)

Warnings: Swearing / Slight dirty talk / Slight exhibitionism / Detailed finger foreplay / Slight female cumplay / Soft dom Tae / Twist ending

Word Count: 3.3k

Notes: This was written for the ‘A Long Hot Summer’ project by @thebtswritersclub​. The member I picked was Taehyung and the sense I chose was touch, seeing as his hands are such a kink for many people, I thought I’d feed you all. This is my first collab and I’m both nervous and excited for it. Enjoy!

Thank you to @ditttiii​ for beta reading, you’re a queen. And thank you to @kooksies-stories-and-tales for the amazing banner, you worked really hard to make sure I was happy, you always have my appreciation boo. Thank you @aroseforyoongi​ for helping with where to take this story and letting me talk your ear off about it.

As you sit in the waiting room with your legs crossed, casually flicking through the pages of a women’s fashion magazine, you can almost feel the tension rolling off of you in waves. 

Your shoulders feel tight enough to snap, desperate for some attention and aching to be kneaded. You slowly roll your head around, stretching the muscles in your neck to try and give yourself some relief.

“Miss L/N? Taehyung is ready for you.” The receptionist announces, smiling much more than you would think possible. Her mouth stretched wide, her teeth like piano keys, straight and ivory white.

You toss the magazine back onto the coffee table and stand, grabbing your bag and following, as you dubbed, ‘Miss Smiley’ along the corridor. She shows you to the room, giving you her fake saccharinely, sweet smile once again and heads back off to the front desk. 

You knock lightly and wait. 

“Come in.” A deep voice drawls out.

You push open the door and head over to your new masseuse, whose back is to you as he meticulously rolls up a grey towel.

He turns as you approach. “Hello, Miss L/N, very nice to meet you. My name is Taehyung, I'm new here and I’ll be taking over for Cho.” He offers his hand to you. You take it mechanically, his grip firm but not overly so. You open your mouth to respond but can’t find any words forming for you to speak them, they get suffocated in your throat and swallowed down. 

No, no, no. This isn’t going to work. I need my sweet, lovely Cho back or any other female masseuse on the premises. I cannot work with someone this...stunning. It was as though the angels themselves had carved every perfect, symmetrical line of his face. 

The boxy smile he gives you; enough to melt your insides and turn your legs to jelly. His eyes, so warm and inviting, chocolate pools you can’t help but be captivated by them. You find yourself smiling in return but also becoming acutely aware of how much time is passing without you saying a word.. 

Come on, get it together. 

You swallow your panic and get a grip on yourself. “Please, call me y/n.” Your voice sounds surprisingly even, making you relax a little.

“Sure, if that's what you prefer.” He nods, smiling, his expression a little strained and a little awkward. It’s only then, as you glance down, that you realise you still have his hand gripped in yours like a vice and are shaking it a bit too vigorously. His perfect, large hands are strong, with long slender fingers clasped around yours, encasing them in a caressing cage. Flawless.

“Sorry,” You laugh nervously and release him from your grasp, as you feel a slight warmth creep into your cheeks, staining your skin like pink roses in spring.

He smiles reassuringly. “First time with a male masseuse?”

You exhale with relief and laugh, mainly at yourself. “Is it that obvious?” 

 “A little. Why don’t you make yourself comfortable and make your way to the table? I’ll be back in a few moments.” He exits the room swiftly, leaving you with your racing heart and manic thoughts.

How can I get naked in front of a man like him and be comfortable? With those perfect hands about to glide across my skin like a ship across water. How can I possibly be comfortable with that kind of masochistic torture?

You shake your head, hoping the movement will clear your mind and shake loose your impure thoughts. You hang your jacket on a hook and sit down to remove your shoes. 

Stripping your garments off one by one and laying them in a pre-placed basket until you’re left bare as the day you were born, you then climb onto the massage table. You lay on your back, placing the thin sheet over you up to your armpits and try to control your breathing as you look up towards the ceiling.

You focus on the relaxing sounds you can hear playing out of the speakers, akin to wind chimes, a sound that you have always loved. Reminiscent of your childhood, of sweltering summer days sitting on the porch or playing out in the front yard. Your mother bringing out homemade lemonade, to cool you and your sister down, the sour, sweet taste setting flavour fireworks off on your tongue and making your cheeks pucker at the sharpness. The wind chimes a constant in the background.

A quiet knock on the door snaps you out of your calming thoughts and your whole body goes rigid as you call, “Come in.”

You hear him enter and listen as his quiet footsteps grow closer to you, your eyes still trained on the smooth, light ceiling, stretching out above you.

Feeling his warm hands on your shoulders and seeing his upside down face come into view, your body stiffens further under his touch. “Try to relax.” He smiles sweetly at you. 

Your chest trembles from the thrum of your pounding heart.

I wonder if he can see it too? 

“I’m going to start at your feet and work my way up. Just close your eyes and take slow, deep breaths for me.” He speaks slowly, something about his calm, rich voice and the soulful tone makes you feel like you’re melting from the inside out. This is going to be one interesting massage.

As you close your eyes and focus on your breathing, you hear him move down the other end of the table. You hear the sound of oil slick in his hands but still jolt slightly at his touch on your foot. 

He starts off slow and gentle, the pressure perfect, just enough to soothe your aching muscles which today were extra tender. The feel of his soft hands gently caressing you sends shivers through you, a ripple of goose pimples cascades across your skin.

The feel of his long fingers, twining around your ankles has your core throbbing. Imagining...him holding me by them while he pushes himself deeper...No, I need to stop that. 

You squeeze your thighs together slightly, just to provide you some relief to the pulsating that is increasing between your legs. 

“Relax.” He whispers.

His strong grip, travelling further up your leg and gliding firmly along your thigh, your bare crotch feels exposed even with the cover, as your arousal blossoms with each punishing movement like the flowering buds at the start of springtime. When he almost reaches your centre, his fingers mere millimetres from grazing your folds, you have to bite your lip to hold in a whimper.

God, I can’t take much more of this.

The massage continues on, tortuously slow, and time seems to stand still. 

The worst part is, when he moves onto your top half, feeling his soft fingertips graze along the swell of your breasts. Your heart seems to stop in your chest before it starts violently knocking against your ribs, the throbbing in your core vibrating to the same swift rhythm.

You meet his eyes at that point but wish you hadn’t, when he gives you an upside down smile that only pulls up one side of his mouth in the sexiest way, even from this angle.

You are relieved when you can finally turn onto your stomach, not being able to see his face definitely helped. The torture begins again as he starts at your feet and works his way up your body with his gruelling pace. 

Your hands grip the towel by your head for so long your fingers ache, transforming into stiff claws, but the ache in your core is incomparable and desperate to be sated with his touch. 

His fingers are like magic, his touch so soft and caring, that even through your anxiety you can feel your muscles are lighter and less painful than before. 

When his fingers smooth along the skin on the back of your thighs and his fingertips skim your folds. You freeze. 

That had to be an accident, surely he didn’t mean to go that close.

You wait with baited breath as his hands climb slowly back up your legs, but what you're expecting, doesn’t happen. You hate to admit the tinge of disappointment you feel as your body relaxes slightly and you let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding.

The frustration you feel is immense, you’ve never been this turned on by someone before, and you have to refrain from grinding your painful crotch against the massage table.

His thumb slides silkily up the inside of your leg and a shiver runs up your spine as his fingers lightly slither their way along your moist entrance. Your eyes trained at the tiles on the floor, as arousal makes you quiver under his touch. 

He must be doing that on purpose!

You discreetly open your legs wider, giving him access, if that was what he was searching for.

His oiled hands find their way under the sheet and caress your buttocks, softly kneading your cheeks, before finding their way back down to your throbbing crotch. 

He skates a finger over your entryway and you have to bite your lip to hold the moan you feel rising.

You want to angle your bottom up in the air so he can see and touch every part of you but you resist and stay flat and unmoving as a slab of concrete.

Your heart pounds violently in your chest, from fear and thrill both. This is so wrong, this shouldn’t be happening and you definitely shouldn’t be encouraging it but it feels so good, that you can’t stop yourself. 

He slides a finger in between your swollen folds until he finds your clit, where he delicately traces circles with his oiled fingertips. 

You let out a moan and his mouth is instantly by your ear, breath tickling your skin. “You’re going to need to be quiet. Can you do that for me?” 

You bite your lip and nod. 

“Good, now turn over.” He whispers.

You do as he says, feeling somewhat bashful that he can now see your face.

He flips the sheet off, exposing you completely, a fresh shudder flows through you, and as he does he pulls his full bottom lip in between his set of perfect teeth. 

“You are beautiful.” He says, as his eyes roam over your body and most intimate areas. A harsh blush spreads from your chest to your cheeks and the urge to cover yourself is almost overwhelming but he doesn’t give you the chance. His hands are on you, spreading your legs open and pushing your knees down onto the bed. You are wide open, receiving him like he’s returning home from a long trip, welcome mat positioned and ready. So eager and trusting to this stranger you hardly know.

He slips a finger inside you making you gasp, and you clutch your hand over your mouth to stop any more noise from escaping. 

“You’re so wet. I could see it pooling out of you. Such a dirty girl.” He leans down to whisper.

His thumb finds your swollen bud, while he slides a second finger in your heated core. Pleasure shoots through you like a bullet, making your body jolt in response. You throw your arm over your face and bite the skin to stop a sinful moan from echoing through the room.

“You were praying I'd touch you, weren’t you?”

You nod eagerly, unable to open your mouth for fear of screaming his name. You can feel the build up already there, your insides coiled and ready to spring. He hooks his fingers inside of you, and slowly beckons repeatedly over the sensitive spot that makes your toes curl. 

You feel yourself clench around his enchanted digits as your core melts and grows even hotter at his skilful movements.

“That’s it, good girl, cum for me.” He whispers, deep and sinful into your ear, his breath caressing your neck, sending delicious shivers down your body. His command is all you need to heighten the intense, throbbing build up of your orgasm and is enough to cause your body to unravel wildly around him. 

White light consumes your vision as your legs jolt and your back arches off the table, sucking his fingers into you even more as he pushes them inside to help ride out your spasming climax. Pleasure vibrates through you with each contraction, descending over you like waves, capturing you and pulling you under. 

He clamps a hand over your mouth to stop the unholy sounds leaving your body but his action makes your eyes roll into your head from the sheer dominance of it. 

As your core stills and your body relaxes, he gently withdraws his slick covered fingers. He admires them, glistening under the light.

“I wonder what you taste like,” He says, as he brings them up to his lips; licking and sucking your cum clean.

Heat returns to your stomach fast and hard. You were still heavily panting but your body is already eager for more. 

His eyes roll and he lets out a satisfied moan as he tastes you and licks his lips, as if he just devoured a delectable three course meal. When he catches you clenching your thighs together, his mouth stretches into a devilish grin enticing you into the pits of hell through the gates of pleasure.

“Y/n wants more, already?” He raises a questioning eyebrow at you.

“Ummm.” Is all you can coherently reply with your dry throat and breathless lungs.

“You are a dirty girl.” He moves down to the end of the bed, stalking you like prey. He grabs your ankles and slides you down to him. He then pushes your legs apart, his face serious, and eyes hungry. 

He dips his head lower, his mouth heading straight for your soaking folds. Your breathing spikes from the anticipation of how his full lips and boxy mouth will feel against your greedy cunt. He continues lower at a torturous pace, your eyes fixed on him, his beauty, his allure. Everything about him draws you in, entices you, overwhelms you with his charm and for a moment you wonder if this is how Eve felt before she took a bite of the forbidden apple.

Your core throbs violently with need, waiting to rejoice in his oral pleasure but suddenly his head withdraws and he straightens up at the end of the bench.

“Our time is up for today, y/n. But if you’d like we can continue this another day.” He says, back to his professional tone, as if he wasn’t just about to eat your needy slit like his last meal. 

Your mouth pops open at him.

How can he do that to me? How can he be such a tease?

You sit up and close your legs. “Are you kidding?”

He smirks at you. “I’m afraid not.” He leans in closer. “If you’re a good girl and be nice, then I’ll book you in and I’ll take extra good care of you.” He winks. “It can be our little secret.”

You bite your lip and sigh. Fine, I’ll play along. 

It’s only then you notice his erection creating a tent in his trousers and you moan, sliding forward on the bed so you’re almost crotch to crotch with him.

“Are you sure you can’t fit me in now? Or fit in me, should I say?” You flutter your lashes up at him as you smile coyly.

He bites his lip, clearly torn. “I would actually love nothing more than to fuck your tight, needy pussy here on this table but I do have another client.” He gives you an apologetic smile. “What about when I get off work?” He asks, hopeful, almost as desperate as you feel.

Your mind goes back to him torturing you with the promise for more and as hungry as you were for him, you didn’t want the fantasy of what happened here to be over, just yet.

“I can’t tonight I’m afraid. It’s ok, I can wait for our next appointment. Next week, good for you?”

His expression pained as he squeezes your thighs. “Ok, I deserve that. Next week it is.” He takes your hand and brings the back of your fingers up to his lips, where he places a warm, chaste kiss against them. When his lips part, the area feels cold. 

He adjusts his trousers and tunic before nodding at you and leaving the room. 

You jump down off of the table, your limbs wobbling underneath you, and your entire body feeling drained.

Slowly, you get dressed in a haze of satisfaction mixed with frustration, a unique combination to you, as you gather your bits and leave the room. On your way back to the reception desk, you feel lighter than air, a slight spring in your step as though you were bouncing along a fluffy cloud. 

You resist the urge to roll your eyes at the scary, smiley receptionist. 

How can one person smile this consistently, it’s the work of sociopaths? 

Taehyung stands waiting at the desk, beaming his perfect set of teeth your way in the shape of his boxy grin.

“Thank you, for trusting me today.” He says, sweetly holding a hand out for you to shake again and giving you a knowing smile, a twinkle in his eyes keeping your secret safe.

You oblige and can’t help admire his flawless hands again. 

God, there wasn’t a blemish in sight. “No, thank you. You definitely have magic hands.” You say without thinking. You are shocked to see his cheeks turn pink and you revel in the sudden change of power between the two of you.

“Thank you, well, I,” He coughs and glances around the waiting room. “I hope to see you again soon, y/n.” He says. You give a nod and another polite smile as he heads quickly off to his therapy room again.

You book your following appointment and tap your card on the payment machine, giving an awkward wave as you push through the heavy doors. 

You’re surprised at yourself, the turn of today’s events hadn’t made you feel shameful or embarrassed like perhaps you should. 

I just paid to cum, I paid for a sexual service, something I never thought I’d do. Ever.

You shrug it off, after what transpired in that room, there isn’t a doubt in your mind that it was one hundred percent worth it and the promise of more to come was even more thrilling.

After your journey home, a buzz you’ve not felt for a while, clouds your mind and pulls you into constant daydreams. You take a shower to wash the oil and arousal off you, hoping it will help clear the fog in your head.

As you walk into the living room, in nothing but your towel, and take a seat on the sofa preparing to veg out to some crappy T.V., the sound of the door clicking open interrupts your thoughts.

“Hey baby, how was your day?” You ask, rapidly flicking through the channels in search of something mindless.

Fast footsteps close the distance between you, as your husband's frustrated face rounds your view. He slams onto his knees and rips the towel off of your skin, the cooler air hits you making your nipples pucker instantly. 

“Don’t ‘hey baby’ me.” He snaps. “I had to work the rest of my shift with an erection and thinking about the taste of your pussy juice.”

You smile seductively at him. “Tae, you have to admit, it was worth it though.” You stroke your fingers through his hair, fresh arousal blooming at the delectable sight of him between your legs for the second time today.

“Hey, that was your fantasy, not mine, you know I’ll fuck you anywhere I can, my new workplace clearly being one of them.” He pushes your legs apart and stares in wonder at your delicate center, as if it holds all life’s answers. “Now, shut up, so I can eat this pussy till you scream.” 

A/n: Feedback would be appreciated! 

[howlingsaturn]

cotton candy skies (and the sweetness of your love)

carlos finally sought out his parents and told them about his relationship with tk. it doesn’t go quite like he expected and so he finds tk immediately after. 

here we go lads, 2.8k of fluff coming right at you. i’ve wanted it to be mostly carlos centric but there is some tk pov in the beginning too. no trigger warning for this one but stay safe everyone. <3

ao3 link if you wanna say hi. 

a forever with you

wouldn't nearly be enough

to quench the flames

you continue to rekindle in me

It's been a couple of weeks since their fight and TK can tell that it still lies heavily on Carlos' mind. While TK feels like it has brought them closer together, he finds Carlos staring off into space more recently. Sometimes he would look at TK with a hint of guilt and shame in his eyes and TK would need to assure him that it's okay, they've moved past it. Carlos would nod and kiss him but the weight on his shoulders would not lift one bit. It's frustrating, TK wants nothing more than to ease the tension in his body and help him carry the weight, but TK promised Carlos he would be patient and he's fully intent on keeping his promise. 

It comes as a bit of a surprise to him when Carlos shows up at the firehouse towards the end of his shift, unannounced. TK is currently sitting at the table, nursing a mineral water and talking to Marjan about the call they've just responded to when Paul's excited exclamation echoes through the otherwise quiet firehouse. 

"Reyes!" He calls, "Long time no see."

TK turns at just the right moment and as Carlos comes into view, a kind smile on his lips, TK can't stop his own from splitting into a grin. Paul's right though, Carlos hasn't been around as much as he used to because of the many hours he's currently working. TK has tried to talk him into taking a few days off but so far Carlos has refused, seemingly needing the distraction his job provides. It makes TK worry but he really tries not to push him too far, he trusts that Carlos will come to him if he's ready. 

"Good to see you too, Strickland," TK hears Carlos laugh, watching as he leans in for a hug, "Work's been crazy lately, you know how it is."

"Don't have to tell me," Paul replies as they break apart, "Just make sure you're taking care of yourself, alright?" 

Carlos' face softens and TK feels his heart clench in his chest. It's not surprising that Paul immediately knows something's been bothering Carlos but it leaves TK a bit unsettled anyway. 

"Your boy's in there, by the way," Paul adds and TK shakes himself out of his thoughts. He watches as Carlos' eyes follow Paul's gesture and when their eyes meet, Carlos' smile settles. He tilts his head in a quick movement, asking TK to meet him outside, and TK is out of his seat before he can start overthinking Carlos' intentions. He jogs up to him, throwing a glance in Paul's direction but Paul has already turned back to his task. 

"Hey," TK exclaims, a little breathless. 

"Hi," Carlos echoes, "You got a minute? There's something I need to talk to you about." 

"Sure," he responds with a grin although he can't help but feel a little anxious, "You have until the bell rings." 

Carlos nods in understanding and turns half a step, walking back out of the firehouse. TK can feel the gazes of his team boring into his back but he takes a deep breath and follows Carlos outside. 

"You okay?" TK asks when he comes to a stop next to Carlos, reaching out a hand to gently touch his wrist, watching him carefully. Carlos' hands are stuffed into his pockets, eyes locked into the distance to the left side of TK and he follows his gaze, quickly realising what has Carlos so transfixed: The sun is setting over the hills, only a few rays of sunshine are left to peek through the buildings, and the clouds are tinted in a soft pink colour that reminds TK of cotton candy. It makes his gut tingle with warmth.  

"Beautiful, isn't it?" He breathes out with a smile. 

"Yeah." 

TK turns to look at Carlos and finds him already looking at him, sporting a smile so soft, TK recognises it as the smile Carlos has reserved for him only. It makes his own smile widen and the anxiety that has previously made him breathless dissipates. 

"You're a sap," TK says and Carlos just shrugs, reaching for TK's hand to pull him close against his side, needing the comfort. He takes a moment to look at TK and the way he tilts his head as he regards Carlos a little sceptically. He raises his brow, biting the inside of his cheek while he does so and Carlos finds it absolutely endearing. The pink sky behind him illuminates his face in a soft, warm glow and something about the light makes the green in his eyes pop out more than usual. He's beautiful and Carlos wishes he could freeze time so he could look at him forever. TK lets him have his fill, Carlos is surprised by how long he lets him stare, but after a while he starts fidgeting. 

"Not that I don't love being the centre of your attention," he confesses, tilting his head down in slight embarrassment, "but you are kind of freaking me out right now."

"Sorry," Carlos laughs, enamored by the colour on TK's cheeks. His gaze drifts back towards the skyline and the weight of what happened today catches up on him again. The smile falls from his face as his muscles tense and the hand that still holds onto TK squeezes involuntarily. 

"Carlos, baby, what's wrong?" TK reaches out with the hand that isn't clutched in Carlos' and squeezes where his neck meets his shoulder, just now noticing how rigid Carlos is. 

"I love you a whole lot," Carlos says slowly, calculated, as his focus turns back to TK, "you know that right?" 

It takes TK a bit off guard if he's honest. They haven't said the words in a while but TK knows, he's always known. Carlos wears his heart on his sleeve and there's not a day that goes by where Carlos doesn't show him how loved he is. 

"Of course," TK tells him and now he's worried. He presses himself to Carlos' side, if to comfort Carlos or himself, he isn't sure, and plants a soft kiss to his shoulder. He looks up at him, searching his face, but as his hand slides down to curl around his elbow, Carlos looks away again. TK notices the tension in his jaw but the way his chest deeply expands with each breath tells TK that Carlos isn't as upset as he initially thought he was. It feels more like he's trying to order his thoughts, desperately searching for something he can't find, something he can no longer make sense of. 

"I visited my parents today," Carlos finally explains and TK's heart skips a beat, squeezing his arm in silent support.

"I told them I lied. I told them that the handsome guy they met at the market a while back wasn't my friend from work but the love of my life." 

Carlos can feel the way TK's breath hitches from how close he stands and it makes him hide a smile. He turns to look at him and watches TK as he opens and closes his mouth, visibly fumbling to assemble his thoughts. Carlos knows exactly what he's thinking. Love of his life? 

"And how do-- how did they react?" TK finally gets out, swallowing heavily. 

"They were calm," Carlos replies, "Surprised. I think they didn't know what to say at first, but after a few minutes of awkward silence my mom started asking about you and the how's and when's of our relationship." He shrugs, a futile attempt to appear nonchalant, but TK can see right through him. The anxiety of that talk probably still lingers. 

"And then she asked me if I was happy."

"Oh," TK mutters and it sounds a little self-conscious, "What did you say?" 

"The truth," he replies, eager to erase TK's doubts, "that you make me the happiest man on earth. That when you walked out on me a month ago, it felt like my heart was torn into a million pieces and that that day, I swore to myself to never make you doubt your place in my life ever again."

Carlos can clearly see the impact his words have on TK and he realises he should've been more open with him. He knows he has turned into himself lately, knows he has tried really hard to hide himself and his feelings away. But the terror he had felt upon the prospect of his parents finding out about TK and their relationship and disapproving of it, has been weighing heavily on him. He doesn't know why he's been so scared, he knows he would survive his parents' rejection, but to Carlos, there's nothing more important than family. And despite the fact that he's a grown man with a secure job and stable relationships, he can't imagine not having his parents' house to return to and seek shelter in if his world starts collapsing. When it comes to his mother, he will always be the soft little guy with too many fears, desperate for a comforting touch or reassuring words. He just can't help it. 

"Carlos," TK pulls him out of his own head and he hurries to order his thoughts. There's something else he needs to get out, a confession that has changed his life completely.

"But you know what my mom did?" 

TK shakes his head. 

"She took my hand and said she was glad I had somebody who loves me. She said she was sorry for how they reacted all those years ago, that they figured by simply acting like it wasn't a big deal, like it didn't change anything, they would do me a favour." 

Carlos chokes on his words, willing away the tears that threaten to spill, and holds onto TK a little stronger. TK presses another kiss to his shoulder, resting his cheek against Carlos and rubbing circles into his arm. He doesn't know why he's getting so emotional now, this is even about him.

"You know what else she said?" Carlos asks.

"Hm?"

"She said couldn't wait to properly meet you."  

TK's eyes widen in surprise and something about the huge smile that's now gracing Carlos' lips, makes him choke on his own tears as well. Carlos reaches for him then, tilting TK's head up for a kiss, and TK all but melts into him. 

"So wait," he mumbles between kisses, "You do want me to meet your parents now right?" 

Carlos laughs again, shaking his head in fond exasperation. "Of course I want you to meet my parents." 

"Ok, ok," TK says and winds his arms around Carlos' neck, "just making sure."

He kisses him again, feverishly so, and when TK pulls back to look at him, Carlos isn't yet ready to let go. He coaxes TK into another kiss and then another and another until he's breathless with it all.

"I'm so proud of you," TK whispers when they finally break apart, gently cupping Carlos' face in his hands, and the noise Carlos makes in response sounds a little pained. Carlos curses silently as he can't help the tears that we'll up in his eyes again. Today has been one hell of a roller coaster ride. 

"You are so fucking brave," TK adds, not allowing Carlos to look away even for a second, and as he raises on his tiptoes to press a series of soft pecks onto Carlos' cheeks, Carlos finally loses the tension in his shoulders. He lets himself be tugged into a hug, his arms winding across TK's back to pull him closer and he allows himself to calm. He pulls back after a while, the urge to see TK too strong to ignore, and when TK smiles at him gleefully, Carlos knows he’s going to be okay. Right here with TK in his arms, he feels safe. 

"I love you," TK tells him, his hands resting against the back of Carlos' neck and Carlos has to kiss him for it. It's probably wildly inappropriate, standing outside the firehouse wrapped around each other like that, but Carlos doesn't care, he only has one priority and that's kissing TK. Judging by the way TK holds onto him and reciprocates the kiss, Carlos doesn't think he minds either. He does eventually break the kiss, much to TK's dismay, but only because there's more he needs to say.

He takes another moment to look at TK, it seems that he can't stop staring at him today, and the flush shining high on his cheekbones makes Carlos' stomach flutter. His eyes are wide with joy, his lips red and puffy and he looks so god damn perfect, Carlos cannot wait to take him home and show him how utterly loved he is. He reaches up a hand and cups his jaw, pressing another longing kiss to his lips that leaves TK chasing after him with eyes still closed. Carlos presses his thumb to TK's bottom lip, applying gentle pressure, and he watches mesmerized as TK swallows, his eyes fluttering open with a gasp. 

"Move in with me," Carlos says and the way TK's brows raise almost comically makes him stifle a laugh. 

"What?" TK responds confusedly. 

"You heard me. Move in with me, Ty." 

TK studies him for a few seconds, probably debating whether he's understood Carlos correctly and what comes out of his mouth is exactly what Carlos had expected. 

"Are you sure about this?" He asks, a hint of excitement glinting behind the insecurity in his eyes but Carlos knows he needs more reassurance than that. 

"Sure about wanting you to come home to me every day? Absolutely."

"And you're not just saying that because I've complained about my parents so much lately?" 

Carlos huffs out a laugh, gently squeezing TK's hip. 

"Look, of course I want you to have a safe space to retreat to when things get difficult with your parents but it's not just that."

TK's lips twitch into a smile and Carlos has to force himself not to kiss him again because if he did, he's not sure he could make himself stop. There's just something about the way TK looks at him that lights a fire in his chest. 

"I miss you when you're not around," Carlos explains, his voice dropping low with emotion, "the house is far too quiet and the bed far too cold without you there. You already occupy so much space in my heart, it's only reasonable you occupy space in my home, hopefully our home, too." 

TK lets out a watery laugh, biting his bottom lip in an attempt to hold the tears at bay. 

"That was so damn cheesy," he says and Carlos fears if he smiles any harder, he's going to tear his face apart. There's not a hint of nervousness in Carlos, he already knows what TK's answer is going to be.

"Well did it work?" He asks anyway, his own smile hurting his cheeks. 

TK squints at him, pretending to think it over, but he's far too happy to be a little shit about it for long.

"Yeah," he replies softly, genuinely, "I love you, Carlos, more than I ever thought possible and I hope you know that you make me really happy too. So yes, I'd love to move in with you." 

Carlos leans down and kisses him but their smiles are too wide for it to be a proper kiss. 

"You know I would offer you a key in a grand romantic gesture but you already have one."

TK makes a snorting sound, shaking his head in amusement. 

"So no grand romantic gestures for me?"

Carlos' smile turns soft then, images of a shared future appearing in his head and they look as beautiful as cotton candy skies. 

"Not this time, no."

TK wriggles his eyebrows knowingly and it makes Carlos blush, but his smile changes as well. It's sweeter now, his eyes mirroring what Carlos feels, and sometimes Carlos wonders what he did to deserve a love this special. 

"This time, huh?" TK asks, and the roughness of his voice masks the humour in his response, "Are you already planning a proper one then?" 

Carlos just shrugs and secures his hold on TK, but it's not like he ever plans on letting go anyway. 

"Maybe."

TK launches himself at him, pulling Carlos into another earth-shattering, toe-curling, breath-stealing kiss, and as the sun fully sets behind them, the sky now a warm orange, something in Carlos settles. Marriage is not something that is going to happen in the near future, they both know, but if Carlos is already making a mental checklist of everything he needs for the perfect proposal, TK doesn't have to know. 

[alderaani]

in the ashes

written for @commandercodyweek day 6: AU, and this one’s a dragon age crossover, folks, to fit the ‘high fantasy’ subprompt. I don’t have much to say about this one apart from that it is completely self indulgent and the epitomy of that meme “it makes no damn sense, compels me though”. i might expand this one into a proper story, but for now here’s...whatever the hell this is lmao.

summary: when the battle of Ostagar goes sour, Cody grabs what brothers he can and escapes into the Wilds. trouble of an unexpected sort is waiting for them there | also on AO3

warnings: swearing, death mention, blood.

- “I could have chopped your fucking head off!” 

That’s his first thought, once his blood stops roaring in his ears. The bloodspattered, ginger haired man in front of him sidesteps the sword at his neck and gives Cody a jaunty grin, though there’s a brittle edge to it. 

“And yet you didn’t! What a happy accident.” 

Cody doesn’t lower his sword. He’s not sure he would call this either an accident, or particularly happy. It’s not exactly a mystery as to how either of them have gotten here, or why anyone of this man’s calibre would be stranded in the middle of the Korcari Wilds. He really hadn’t been interested in running into another living soul - not until they’d gotten much deeper into the Wilds, anyway, and particularly not anyone from Ostagar. He’s not going back to Ferelden’s army. He’s not letting his brothers go back to the army. He’ll die first, and he’ll take as many people with him as necessary on the way down.

“Who’s your friend? There any more of you?” He asks, nodding towards the glowering young man that has appeared out of the shadows, flanking the first with a mulish expression. He feels Rex step up next to him in response, and the other two tighten up formation at his back as best they can around their missing pieces. He swallows, pushing the grief away.

“That’s none of your -” The second man starts.

“Peace, Anakin.” The ginger haired man tilts his head up towards the canopy. “You can come down, Ahsoka.”

Far above them there’s a sigh and a muffled curse, before a short, slim figure drops promptly into their midst. Cody doesn’t jump, but he’s pretty sure that’s just because he’s already so hollowed out and empty, battle fatigue gnawing at every inch of him. You can’t be surprised by much when it feels like the world has already ended.

Behind him, he hears Fives curse. The elf rolls to her feet, and he notes the two short swords, the snarl on her face, and beneath it, the same bone deep shock he feels in his soul. She’s young, he can tell that much, young and afraid, and it makes him pause.

Boil shoulders forward. “What the fuck were you playin’ at? Were you gonna ambush us, huh?” 

He puts up his arm, automatic, and the ginger haired man mirrors him as the girl lunges, catching her deftly by the back of her armour. 

“Only if you’d deserved it!” 

“Oh, I can make us deserve it -” 

“Boil!” Cody snaps, turning to look at his brother. The expression on Boil’s face carves through his chest, all shattered edges, and he knows what he’s seeing, what he’s thinking. He turns the hand on his shoulder and leans in, tapping their foreheads together. Boil holds himself rigid for a moment, then crumples into the touch, exhaling roughly. “It’s not their fault.”

When he lifts his head it’s to find the ginger-haired man eyeing him warily. With his heart rate slowing in his ears he looks at him anew, at the blue armour, the griffon emblazoned across the chest, the staff strapped to his back. 

“You’re Grey Wardens,” Rex breathes, beating him to the punch. The man smiles bitterly. 

“Guilty as charged. So perhaps you can understand why we might be a little distrustful at the moment.” 

The man at his side scoffs. Cody’s heart sinks, solid as a stone, and he closes his eyes. Grey Wardens...just what they need. He doesn’t know what in Thedas the Teryn was thinking when he pulled the troops out and left them - and the Wardens - to die, and they have his sympathy for that. But his concern is his family, whatever shreds are left of it, and it seems that wherever the Wardens go, trouble follows.

They are so close to rejoining their clan, so close. The nearer they get, the more fierce the longing for those familiar sights and smells, hands that reach out in welcome rather than recoil in fear. He knows that what he’s dreaming of no longer really exists - that it died with Waxer and Echo several hours ago in that thrice-damned ruin, but...he can’t stop himself straining for home all the same. 

“Guess it is true what they say,” Boil mutters behind him. “The Grey Wardens really will take anyone.” 

Despite his red-rimmed eyes, Fives grins. “Looks like the set up to a punchline. If two mages and an elf walk into a tavern…” 

The elf growls, the torchlight just catching the edge of her lips and glowing off dark skin. There are tattoos across her cheeks and forehead, though he can’t make out what of. She’s Dalish, then, and he wonders briefly which clan agreed to give her up to the Wardens, at such a young age, too. From what he knows of their people, and their fierce guardianship of their children, they wouldn’t have given her up easily, or given her the Vallaslin so early without cause. There’s a story there, no doubt. 

He elbows Fives, keeping his touch gentle. Too hard and Fives will shatter. 

“Why stop us, then? Why not just let us be on our way?” he asks, more defensively than he means to. 

“Trust me,” the sulking man says, crossing his arms over his chest. One hand glows silver, and after a second Cody realises that it’s made of silver, replaced by metal.  “We wouldn’t have, if we weren’t lost.” 

He throws an accusatory look at the ginger haired man, who grimaces back at him. The elf’s lips quirk a little.

“Well what makes you think we can help?” Rex asks, gruff, one shoulder still knocking Boil back into the pack. “We’re just some stragglers, same as you.”

“Well…” the ginger haired man trails off, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “We couldn’t help but notice you rather look like you know your way around.”

Cody lifts his sword again, a pang of fear racing through him. “You’ve been following us.” 

“As I said...it hasn’t been a good day for blind faith,” the man says, cautious. “Can you not understand that?”

Cody doesn’t move an inch. The man sighs, then sticks out his hand.

“Fine, let’s start again, shall we? My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi. We need help finding passage out of the Wilds as soon as possible.” 

He’ll reflect on this handshake many times in the months to come, when he’s knee deep in Darkspawn, demons and politics, and wonder if this was the second that things truly started to go wrong. In the moment, though, he just thinks that Obi-Wan’s hands are strangely calloused for a mage. 

Ignorance, as they say, is bliss.

[marwritesgood]

Renewal | O. Diaz

Pairing: Oscar x Martinez!Reader

Timeframe: Chapter 17 (Altered)

Summary: In which the Reader has her baby shower.

masterlist // part one

A/N: Consider this a part two to ‘Collateral’.

After my wound healed, and I was able to pick up a laundry basket without wincing in pain, I decided to stay living at home with my family. I was eventually going to move back to my apartment, and share it with Spooky, where we would raise our baby, but for the time being I chose to stay at home.

On the plus side, this meant having my mother and grandmother taking care of me, no matter how much I insisted of cooking my own dinner. On the other hand, this meant I had my siblings around to annoy the living crap out of me 24/7.

“Y/n, come here!”

“Ugh, what is it Mario?” I groaned from having to get out of my bed and head to the kitchen, where Mario was sorting through out ancient box of party decorations.

“Ma asked me to hang up the decorations,” he explained, as he rummaged through the box, pulling out all of the decorations that were still in good shape. “But I have no idea how she wants it done, and I know you do, so can you help me?”

“You want me to setup my own baby shower?” I retorted. It was disappointing, yet unsurprising that he needed my help doing the one task our mother gave him.

“I thought you didn’t want to call it a baby shower?”

“That’s because the only reason I agreed to do this was for the gifts.”

My mother and Ruby were the ones who forced the idea on me. I personally found the whole idea of it tacky, and unnecessary, but when Ruby told me each guest would have to come bearing a gift, I reluctantly gave in.

“Look, are you gonna help me or not?”

“Fine,” I sighed, before joining him in rummaging through the box.

After we pulled out the streamers, as well as a banner my mother especially bought for the event, Mario went to look for tacks, or anything we could use to hang everything up. I decided to take that as an opportunity to take a seat on the couch and rest my feet.

The moment quickly ended when Ruby and Jamal arrived home.

“You’re being paranoid.”

“I am being perfectly reasonable,” Jamal fired back at Ruby, who head straight to the kitchen for a drink, before slowly walking back to the living room area. “Think about it. Every since we found the money, bad stuff keeps happening.”

“Guys,” I groaned, sitting up and putting my feet back on the ground. “I have a small, yet very aggressive, human inside of me right now. Can you please be a little quieter?”

“Sorry, Y/n,” they replied in unison. As I leaned back and rested my head on the sofa, Ruby noticed the decorations were out and did not wait a moment before giving his opinion. “I cannot believe mom’s using the same decorations... And they misspelled ‘shower’ on the banner!”

“Hey, if you wanna takeover and be event planner, go right ahead,” I muttered, with my eyes still closed. “Ma is having Mario put the decorations up, and he didn’t even know what a streamer was until I showed him... At least with you I know I won’t have to do anything.”

The boy was practically jumping.

“It would be my honour,” Ruby stated dramatically. I could always count on him to escalate small things to another level. “Consider it me fulfilling my first of many duties as an uncle... as the tío she can always count on.”

“Whatever you want,” I droned.

“Jamal?” Ruby looked over to his friend, who was helping himself to a bowl of corn chips. “Call the squad over here. We have a baby shower to plan.”

“Oh god,” I groaned, realising what I had just signed myself up for.

*****

After I assigned Ruby as event planner, he and his friends managed to find an entire new set of decorations using a small amount of the cleaned Rollerworld money. I was surprised, considering how difficult of a time they were having cleaning the money, and how obsessed they were with getting their fair share, but the decision was apparently unanimous. Then, before I knew it, it was the night before the baby shower and Ruby had gone full blown crazy.

“Monse, you call that folding? I’ve seen prettier napkins at McDonald’s.”

Against their better judgements Monse, Jamal and Jasmine agreed to staying the night at my place to help set everything up for the baby shower. According to Ruby, my only job was to sit and relax. Everyone else, on the other hand, had a long list of tasks and a rigid schedule Ruby was expecting them to abide to. One of Jasmine’s tasks was to figure out what I planned on wearing, and convince me to go with the colour scheme Ruby had envisioned.

“I was planning on wearing this,” I stated, before placing my mustard-yellow maternity-friendly sundress on the coffee table for Jasmine to see.

“Right, okay, I see what you’re trying to do,” she said positively. “But, you see, Ruby suggested that maybe you wear your red dress instead. Think about it, it’ll go with the whole theme we got going on, compliment your complexion. Yeah?”

“Alright,” I sighed, knowing that even if I tried to argue with Ruby on this, he would somehow find a way to convince me to go with the red dress. After putting my yellow dress I away, I went back to the living room area to see how the setting up was coming along. “How’s the setting up coming along?”

“I love you, Y/n,” Monse began, looking up from her napkin-folding station at the dining table. “And I love your baby. But I swear to God, if Ruby criticises my folding technique one more time-”

“Monse, this napkin is wrinkly!”

After Ruby did exactly what I feared he would, I watched Monse close her eyes briefly, and take a deep breath in. After slowly exhaling, she abruptly tried to  run out from her seat at the table, and strangle Ruby, but I quickly held my hands out and stopped her.

“Woah, okay,” I muttered, quickly realising how tense everyone was, Ruby and Monse in particular. “Maybe a little break will do you guys some good... Okay, everyone stop what you’re doing, have a seat on the couch and relax. I’ll order some pizza for us, okay? My shout.”

Everyone, even Ruby, did as I said, and seemed to be relieved because of it. I slipped into the kitchen and ordered pizza from my phone, before pouring myself a glass of lemonade. As I took a sip from my cup, Cesar came in.

After New Years, I convinced my mum to let Cesar stay with us while Monse’s dad moved in and out of town. Despite her resentment towards him, it only took reminding her that Cesar was family to Ruby and I for her to agree to let him crash on our couch until Mario goes back at the stat of his semester.

“Cesar? You okay?”

“Are you sure you want me there tomorrow, Y/n?” He asked nervously, after a moment of prolonged silence. As he scratched the back of his head, I put my glass of lemonade down and looked him directly in the eye.

“Are you kidding me?” I said softly. “Of course I want you at my baby shower, Cesar. It wouldn’t be complete without all of my baby’s tío under one roof. I even promised Jamal he’d be a tío.”

“And I’m gonna hold you against that promise,” Jamal shouted from the living room. I could have sworn he had super-hearing abilities.

“It’s just... I know you told my brother not to come, because you wanted me there.”

“Ruby told you?” He nodded, and I made a mental note to confront my brother about that. “Look, okay... Yes, that is why I told Spooky not to come, but I told him it’s not a big thing, and he was totally cool with sitting this one out. Plus, it’s my baby shower, so it’s my call... And I want you there tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled. “I’ll be there.”

“Plus, my cousin sent me a crib I need to set up, and Mario and Ruby are horrible with using tools and following instructions.”

*****

My baby shower had gone by fast. By the end of it, Ruby and his friends stayed back to clean everything up, which my mother really appreciated, as it meant she could take her time catching up with her cousins. Mario was putting the twins to bed, and Cesar was helping me go through all the gifts people brought.

“I can’t believe my cousin bought my daughter this onesie.”

“She’ll look so cute in it,” Cesar commented, smiling as I held it up for him to see. “I wish I could see how she’d look in it.”

“Well, my due date is in a few months now,” I began, chuckling as I folded the onesie and placed it with the rest of the clothes my relative bought for my daughter. “So soon enough you’ll have a little girl calling you tio.”

“Yeah...” Cesar seemed to be distant. Ever since he came back from his shift at Jamal’s dad’s restaurant, he seemed a lot more gloomy than ever.

“Cesar? Is everything okay?”

In true Diaz fashion, he tried to remain stoic; tried to continue doing what he was doing as if my question didn’t affect him, but I knew better. I knew there was something serious he was hiding.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” I placed my hand on his shoulder and shifted closer to him, lowering my voice so he knew whatever he would say I would keep confidential. “I mean it, Cesar. Tell me what’s going on... please.”

There is an air of silence for a prolonged moment. Cesar inhales sharply, before breaking his stoicism and crinkling his brows together, with tears beginning to well up in his eyes.

“Their gonna kill me Y/n,” he whispered, voice cracking as he said my name.

After Ruby’s drunken outburst that led to a group of Santos breaking the truce, we knew it was only a matter of time before Latrelle would come back to finish what he tried to do at Olivia’s quinceanera. I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.

Before I can even begin to think of something to say, there is a loud knock on my door. I glance at Cesar for just a moment, before standing up to answer the door. However, when I open it, there is no one to be found. All there is left is a painfully familiar item on my mother’s welcome mat.

A bullet. The same kind I had to get surgically removed from my shoulder.

“Y/n?” Cesar whispered in concern, from where he had been sitting. I turn around, so he can see the bullet in between my index finger and thumb, alongside the look of horror on my face.

“We need to go,” I said sharply, giving Cesar all but five second to get up and follow me. I didn’t care that the person who delivered that bullet would have only been a few blocks away. I needed to get this sorted now. Because two people I care deeply about were being threatened- my unborn child, and my pseudo-baby brother.

Therefore, now it was personal.

*****

Despite the fact that my feet had been consistently sore ever since I entered my second trimester, Cesar and I walked all the way to Oscar’s place, and for the first time the pain in my feet was easy to ignore. Once we were two houses away from the Santos crib, I told Cesar to lay low while I talked to his brother.

“Spooky,” I called out, as I walked towards their front porch. I only had to wait a second or two before he came out and greeted me with a smile and a kiss on my temple. It was no wonder why the other guys kept making jokes about him being whipped.

“What’s wrong baby?”

“It’s a long story... but just promise me you won’t be mad.”

“Y/n...” his smile faded so quickly, turning into an almost-glare.

“Please,” I said softly, placing my hands on the sides of his arms, partly to butter him up but mostly to keep him restrained.

“Okay,” he replied, tone still harsh, but you take what you can get with Spooky. “I won’t be mad... now tell me what you did.”

I look down for a moment and try to find a way to articulate the situation in the best way. In a way that would keep Oscar from wanting to knock Cesar out and reprimand me for keeping secrets from him. However, I couldn’t come up with a way to verbally explain, so I opted for a more visual method.

“You can come out now,” I shouted.

As Cesar slowly appeared, stopping at the Santos front lawn, there was a short moment where Oscar remained completely frozen. This moment, however, was very short-lived, because after rubbing his facial hair, he quickly turned back to Cesar and tried to run at him, only for me to block his way.

“What the hell is this?!”

“You said you wouldn’t be mad,” I retorted, trying to reason with him, but it wasn’t working.

“So what we hide shit from each other now? Is that what this is, Y/n?”

“He needed a place to crash, and I knew you’d be like this if I told you.”

“You know fucking well why,” he shouted, making me take a step back. Oscar never scared me, but this was truly uncharted territory perhaps for the both of us. “She show you the scar on her shoulder, Cesar? She ever tell you about nightmares she gets from that night? You ever thought about the people you’ve hurt, or are you just happy to freeload off someone again-”

“-Hey, stop it!” I yelled, pushing Spooky away from Cesar, who he was mere inches away from shoving at this point. Spooky breath heavily, as he catches his breath from yelling so profusely at this brother. All the while, Cesar stood still, ready to take whatever beating Oscar was about to give him.

“I told you this was a bad idea.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Spooky shouted, before spitting in Cesar’s direction.

“Spooky, can you just listen?... Please?” He doesn’t look me in the eye, but he does remain silent, which was enough cue for me to continue explaining myself. “I wouldn’t have come here now if it wasn’t urgent... They’re tryna finish the job... They wanna kill him.”

For a moment it seemed like Oscar was about to give in. It was his natural instinct to protect his brother, so I knew telling him of the danger Cesar was in would make him ease up, but he still wasn’t gonna help him.

“He made this mess, it’s time he takes responsibility for what he’s done... you can’t protect him.”

“No... but you can,” I replied, looking at the father of my child pleadingly. Oscar scoffs and pulls away from my grasp, before turning to the house and making his way back inside. “No- Oscar, baby please...”

Right before he reaches their porch, I pull the bullet from my back pocket and make one last attempt at talking sense into him.

“They came to my house tonight.”

He stopped immediately, before turning back around and walking towards me. This time his expression had washed over with concern, a look I had become incredibly familiar with since becoming his girlfriend, and even more so after becoming his babymama.

I held out the bullet, so Oscar could see it, and as he examined it his eyes only darkened. With a clenched fist and flared nostrils, he shifted his eyes between Cesar and I several times, before patting the pocket of his pants. He always kept his gun on one side and his car keys on the other.

“Both of you. Get in the car.”

Cesar and I did so quickly, understanding the magnitude of the situation. I knew that in due time Oscar would have come around to helping Cesar. However, we didn’t have that kind of time, so I also knew I had to do what I needed to make sure he was on board now.

“Where are we going?”

“I’m taking you home,” he replied shortly, and I knew then that whatever he was about to do was something he wouldn’t tell me until it was done. That’s how it worked when it came to stuff involving Santos. And, despite what he told Cesar in December, he was still very much a Santos. “I’ll call the guys. Make sure at least a few of them are on lookout out here. You ever wanna leave to go anywhere, you call me, okay? I’ll get someone to follow you, make sure you got protection.”

“Yeah, but-”

“I’ll handle it, baby,” he answered, before I could even ask my question. Even when recovering from a fight, he was always on my wavelength. “I promise... They won’t get away with this shit... Imma make sure of it.”

He stops in front of my house, and lifts my hand up, pressing a soft kiss on the back of it before caressing the side of my face. I always hated moments like these. Saying goodbye right before shit goes down. Last time a moment like this occurred, Oscar ended up being locked up for over two years.

Before opening my door, I glanced back at Cesar and then at Spooky. My Spooky.

“You text me the second it’s done, okay?” I whispered, trying not to tear up. Pregnancy hormones and gang violence was not a good combination. “And I swear to God, if anything happens to either of you, I will-”

“Hey,” Spooky whispered, gently rubbing his thumb against the apple of my cheek. “You think I’m gonna let anything keep me from coming home to you?”

“I love you,” I said, nodding as I began to process Oscar’s confidence. I look back at Cesar and gently squeeze his hand. “Both of you.”

And as I walked back into my house, and heard the sound of Spooky’s engine fade as they drove off, I promised I would tell this story to my daughter once she was of an appropriate age. People can say all they want about me, about Spooky and Cesar, and about the Santos in Freeridge. 

But, when push comes to shove, these men will move heaven and earth to protect their people and their community.

[one-boring-person]

@theghostof-myndi I'm so sorry this has taken such a long time to write! I hope it was worth the wait, though!💛💛💛

Are You Paid To Say That?

Kevin Richter (Trapped In Silence) x reader

Warnings: mentions of violence, mental illness/challenges

A/N: Im really sorry if this isn't as good as you were expecting, I find the characters quite difficult to write, but I've tried my best. I wasn't really too sure where to take this, so I hope thinks ok.💛💛

Masterlist

"How're things going with Kevin?" I inquire as I walk with Jennifer out of the building, pulling my coat tighter around my body as the icy winter air surrounds us, biting at my heated skin.

"Well, I thought they were going well, but he had another outburst today, so I think we might've been set back a bit." The shrink admits to me, adjusting the box in her arms, making the bits and bobs inside clatter against each other.

"Another outburst? How come?" I frown a bit, knowing that this particular patient can be violent at the best of times, concerned now for the older woman's safety.

"I'm not entirely sure this time. We were talking about meeting more people his age, when he mentioned something about seeing a girl around here...hang on, how old are you?" She asks, looking over at me curiously.

Lifting an eyebrow, I quickly respond.

"I'm seventeen."

Realisation seems to dawn on her face as she hears this, knowing that there are, in fact, no other younger workers in the institute, and definetly none that work with the more challenging patients.

"What?" I question when she continues to start at me in amazement.

"I think he was talking about you, (Y/n)." Jennifer reveals, frowning to herself as if thinking something over in her head.

"About me? He doesn't even know who I am, and I don't think he's ever seen me before." I protest, thinking back to the fragile, highly volatile boy currently residing in the Quiet Room.

"Maybe, but the description he gave matches you pretty well." She informs me, smiling gently at the look of genuine shock on my face, "I'll ask him more about it tomorrow."

"Ok, thank you." I respond, not knowing quite how to react to this information, waving a little as she walks off to her car, leaving me standing in the cold to mull over what I've heard.

*

Jennifer's hurried footsteps echo through the corridor as she approaches me, eyes intent on me, clearly needing to say something to me, prompting me to break off the conversation with the security guard I was having so that I can greet her. When she sees this, she speeds up a bit, hair blowing past her face with an air of importance.

"I was right, (Y/n), it is you that he meant." She blurts out as she reaches me, eyes filling with a mixture of curiosity and sympathy as she regards me.

"What do you mean? Who are we talking about?" I ask her, though I have a feeling I know where this is going.

"Kevin. I showed him a picture of you and he took it from me. He seemed pretty attached to it, and went ballistic when I asked him for it back." She informs me, leading me away from our original spot, back the way she came.

"Kevin? Are you sure? I might just look like someone he knows." I try to reason, feeling a dull sense of fear as she drags me down the corridor, my eyes wide at the idea of going to see the troubled boy.

"Oh, I don't think so, (Y/n). He's drawn out pictures of everyone he want to remember, and I've spoken to the remaining members of his family: there is no way you just remind him of someone. I've been working with him for a while now, I know his habits." She clarifies, leading me down a more secluded corridor, towards the main office, at which point my fear fades into curiosity.

"Are you sure?" I ask one last time, looking away guiltily when she sends me a pointed glance, "Sorry, you know better than I do. Where are we going?"

"Right here." She gestures with a smile to the door we've stopped outside of, knocking just below the sign determining the owner of the room: the head of the institute.

Eyeing her curiously, I remain silent as we wait for him to respond, following her hesitantly when his voice sounds from behind the door. Respectfully, I stand just by the door as she goes inside completely, waiting there as she speaks with Dr Tomlinson, staying quiet as I let the older members talk with each other.

"Jennifer? What do you need?" The doctor greets her, sending a cursory glance at me, before returning his eyes to her.

"I want someone to help me with Kevin's case." She states, excitement creeping into her voice at the thought, clearly eager to keep up with the therapy.

"You do?" Dr Tomlinson looks surprised, eyes widening at her words, my own quickly fixing on the back of Jennifer's head.

"I do. I think it could really help him socialise better, and he'd get to speak to someone other than me for once." She nods enthusiastically, smiling to herself, as if aware of somehow we're not at liberty to know.

"Ok. I guess I can ask around, though I doubt many people are rave enough-" The doctor starts, only to be cut off by Jennifer, who is shaking her head at his words.

"No, don't worry about that. I already have someone in mind." Confusion and curiosity flood me at this, my mind instantly trying configure out who she could be talking about.

"Oh? And who is that?"

"Well, it's (Y/n) of course."

It takes everything I have not to faint.

*

"Don't worry, (Y/n), you'll be fine. He's not as bad as everyone makes him out to be." Jennifer reassures me as we get ready to enter the therapy room.

Trembling in nerves, I shift from foot to foot as I think through what I'm about to do, well aware that this is only the second case I've ever worked on, and that he doesn't have the greatest reputation. On our way over, Jennifer had given me a rundown of what she knows of his backstory and old living conditions, explaining that she had managed to get him to talk and communicate, but also that he is highly volatile at times, my trepidation and dread just building up the closer we get to the room. Now that we're here, a cold sweat has broken out over my forehead and skin.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just haven't really done this too often." I confess, feeling it important she know that I'm not an experienced worker here, reminding her that I'm only a volunteer who helps out here and there.

"Oh, right, I forgot about that." She frowns, reconsidering as she recalls this, "If you don't feel ready, you don't have to come in. I'm not going to make you."

Taking a deep breath, I decline her offer, biting my lip as I then follow her into the room.

My eyes quickly find the hunched figure in the corner, his messy hair matted and dishevelled, skin pale around his face except under his eyes, where deep purple bags have formed, though the blue-green irises that briefly flick up to greet us are sharp and probing as anything, homing in on my presence instantly. His muscles go rigid, eyes remaining fixed on me even as Jennifer and I move furher into the room. Awkwardly, I hold eye contact for a few seconds, before dropping my gaze with a blush covering my cheeks.

"Good morning, Kevin. I brought along someone to help us with today's session, that ok? This is (Y/n), the girl in the photograph I gave you a week back." Jennifer introduces us, setting the box of items on the table in the centre as I gingerly step forwards, looking up again.

"Hi, Kevin. It's nice to meet you." I say to him, not expecting anything back as he keeps staring at me, only to feel slight fear when he suddenly surges to his feet, scrambling over to the table. Once there, he grabs Jennifer's box and starts rooting around in it, pulling out a sheet of paper and a pencil seconds later, his movements erratic and rushed. I watch in fascination as he seats himself and starts drawing something, expecting us to do the same.

Looking at each other, Jennifer and I do the same thing, a brief flare of surprise lighting inside me as Kevin moves to sit directly opposite me, rather than across from me like he was before. Quietly, I pick up a pen and paper and start sketching, listening to Jennifer as she makes conversation, answering the correct questions and interacting where necessary.

The hour passes quickly, by which point I've managed to finish the drawing I started, sitting back to look at it, before noticing that Kevin is, in fact, also watching me, eyes flicking downwards towards the sheet of paper, almost as if in questioning. With a smile, I push it over the table towards him, offering the drawing to him with little confidence. He picks it up off the table, holding it up so he can see it properly, finger tracing one of the lines, folding it and sticking it in his breastpocket without a second thought.

"Hey, Kevin. That's not yours to take." Jennifer reminds him, looking at me apologetically.

"Oh no, it's fine. You can keep it." I assure her, addressing the last part to him.

He nods at me, not making eye contact.

*

A few months on, and Kevin and I have actually managed a conversation, the boy no longer too shy or distrusting of me, feeling mostly comfortable around me when in therapy. Jennifer has yet to leave me alone with him, thankfully, though I've overheard her talking to Dr Tomlinson about Kevin requesting for me to have a session alone with him, something which I'm not entirely sure I'm comfortable with.

Even now, as we read through another of Jennifer's books, it surprises me when he shuffles over to sit beside me, his body incredibly close to mine, as if with the intention of touching each other, but not quite doing so yet. I have a copy of the book open in my lap, giving him a perfect view of the text, as well as my crotch, which draws a small squeak out of me when he goes to turn the page for me, his fingers gently brushing against my jeans, his hand retracting as quickly as I sink back into the seat, neither of us saying anything.

But even after this, it takes a good two months more for Jennifer to finally decide that I'll be safe on my own with him, as long as there are guards outside, and either Dr Tomlinson or herself nearby to help out in case anything goes wrong. At first, I'm sceptical, but eventually I realise that my presence in the room seems to be what keeps him calm and collected, meaning I'm the perfect candidate to look after him alone.

I was wrong to be worried.

A soon as I step into the room, Kevin has stepped up to me with a broad smile on his face, soemthing which always makes me happy to see, making me smile back at him as he eagerly leads me to a place on the floor in the corner, where he sits me down. Taking his place beside me, he rummages around in the breast pocket of his hoodie and pulls out a dog-eared piece of folded paper, silently handing it to me. Opening it, I feel my jaw drop at the sight of it: it's a portrait. Every aspect is drawn perfectly, giving it it's realistic quality, though it does surprise me that he'd draw me of all people, seeing as he knows Jennifer much better. In my head, I remember what she said about him drawing pictures of everyone he cares for.

"This is amazing, Kevin! Is it for me?"

He nods, a smile crossing his face as he shuffles closer, pressing the side of his body against mine.

'Thank you. I really appreciate this." I thank him, starting when I suddenly feel his cold fingers brush against mine. Absentmindedly, they trace their way into my palm, interlocking our fingers together as he moves ever closer. Smiling, I lean back furher and pat my chest, signalling for him to lay there, which he is only too happy to do, his arms wrapping tightly around me, face buried into my midriff as he holds me close to himself.

"I have a crush on you." He suddenly states, voice muffled through my shirt.

For a moment, I don't know what to say, shocked that he feels this way about me.

"Jenny said I should tell you." He testifies, snuggling closer, before pulling back slightly to nose at the bottom of my jaw.

"You have a crush on me?" I ask once more, biting my lip when he assents, "That's helpful, beacuse I have a crush on you, too." I decide just to spit it out, looking to him for a reaction.

"Really? You actually like me? Or are you just being paid to say that?"

"Kevin, I'm a volunteer. I don't get paid at all.

"So, you actually mean it?"

"I do."

[rvmmm21]

. unpleasant reminders (1.5) .

small note : i know what you’re thinking. great titling. seriously, why can’t i title to save my arse? like i’d pay someone to title my stuff for me. i didn’t mention anything about currency, so go wild. again, please heed my warnings before reading. and uh... remind me never to write this much dialogue ever again, yeah?

*you do not understand how Elated i am to finally be able to pin half of this onto you guys*

i’ve said this in the tags before, but please don’t use shock-collars. save them for this au, okay?

(also... i... i do write soft stuff too. um, j-just in case you forgot... it’s okay to ask me for soft things. i’ll gladly oblige. rvmmm21 isn’t just a yandere bucket).

[yandere!omega!irene x alpha!wendy]

tw : choking, bondage, violence, noncon, implied use of shock-collar. (a very, VERY toxic relationship).

...

Bae Joohyun doesn’t need to be an alpha.

She’s already in control.

And Seungwan isn’t the only one who knows things. Joohyun does too.

She knows plenty.

But if there’s one thing she knows best, it’s that alphas who love their omegas unconditionally do not bolt at any given chance.

And if there’s anything Joohyun considers worse than an alpha who is unwilling to accept that they belong under her, it’s an alpha who actively does something about it.      

It is rather unfortunate that Joohyun, being an omega, does not possess those useful little pheromones alphas use to either overwhelm or calm. Life would be so much easier if she could just have Seungwan on her knees with a whiff of her scent. But when life presents her a challenge like an unruly alpha... a challenge like Seungwan, Joohyun would rather die than back down. She may have been cautious, hell, she may have even bothered to put on a coat before setting out after her fleeing lover. But it really doesn’t matter, not when Seungwan is as docile and harmless as a baby mouse. 

It’s at times like this where Joohyun really doesn’t think her girlfriend deserves her alpha status, or any of those knee-weakening pheromones. It’d be a surprise in itself if Seungwan was aware she even had them, let alone know when and how to use them.

But that isn’t completely her fault. She’s a young pup. Which means she has a lot to learn.

Luckily for her, Joohyun is nothing, if not a well-meaning trainer.

…

Joohyun is standing over her when she opens her eyes.

Even through the blur, it’s creepy. The way she’s just… observing.

She’s calm. Far too calm for Seungwan’s comfort. Not that there’s anything remotely comforting about being gagged and cuffed to the floor. She wants to kick and scream, because she recognises her surroundings far too quickly.

The basement.

Or as Joohyun insists it is, the ‘Training Room’.

For a few seconds she does nothing but quietly stare at the metal around her wrists, the taste of old rags seeping into her tongue anything but pleasant. Finally, Joohyun sighs, bending over to run her fingers along the knot behind her head as she breaks the silence. “Gag wasn’t necessary, but… I know you hate it. And I did catch you doing something very naughty, so I think it’s only fitting, don’t you?”

She fiddles around with the fabric before dragging it down and tossing the damp cloth to the side. Seungwan’s jaw aches when she flexes it a couple times. Stray tears roll down from the corners of bloodshot eyes as she opens her mouth to form some sort of apology. But as soon as her lips are parted, four fingers shove their way into her mouth, as good as choking her in an attempt to keep her from making another mistake.

“Don’t you dare.”

The tears are welling up and she can’t help herself.

“You ran. Again.” Joohyun’s tone is somewhere between a drawl and a snarl. The smaller girl impulsively jerks forward when fingers thrust themselves deeper down her throat. She coughs, gags and tries to twist away, but Joohyun just follows her, never leaving more than a millimetre of space between them. “How many times this month, alpha?”

“No, no, no…” Seungwan tries to say, but it just comes out as incoherent mumbling around Joohyun fingers, all subdued and useless. And it doesn’t help that her head is still spinning. Holding onto a simple train of thought is proving to be harder than the force Joohyun must have applied to knock her out and drag her back.

When the omega pulls her fingers out with a skin-crawling laugh, Seungwan scrambles to defend herself, pointless as it is.

“I wasn’t trying any – wasn’t running, I–”

A foot embeds itself into her diaphragm and cuts off whatever the end of that sentence was supposed to be. The hot pain concentrated in her chest slowly blossoms down her ribs, stomach, and her head. The impact of her back shoved further into the cement she’s slumped against sends agonising jolts down her spine, and it’s that instinctive wince that reminds her that she truly is at the mercy of her sweet, sweet omega.

The added pressure behind the heel serves to better restrict Seungwan’s breathing.

“Puppy’s learnt to lie now, has she?” Joohyun sounds lethargic, and it’s nearly twice as scary as that look of pure, animalistic rage Seungwan had seen on her face not two seconds ago. “You’d better tell me where you picked this charming little habit up… or you’re not going to like what happens next.”

She sounds unimpressed and bored and it’s terrifying.

“P-please…” It doesn’t cross Seungwan that she’s speaking out of turn, that she’s not answering her omega’s question, that she’s not thinking straight. It’s impossible. She can’t think straight. Not when she’s in such a compromising position. “I-I promise it won’t happen again, please… I don’t want to run, it – it was a m-mistake! I didn’t mean to–”

“I didn’t mean to plan an escape, I didn’t mean to keep running when I was called, I’m so sorry, Hyun, please don’t hurt me, Hyun.” Joohyun taunts her, mimicking the panic in her alpha’s voice with a sickening light-heartedness. “How many times do you think I’ve heard that, hm?” She pauses to chuckle at her own awful reminiscing. “Pretty much the first day we started training. And how many times has it worked?”

She kneels down again and wraps her hand around her alpha’s throat. She squeezes, smile broadening when Seungwan whimpers and chokes out a weak – “… none.”

Joohyun smirks. “None.”

Tiny black dots speckle Seungwan’s vision as the pressure on her throat increases, turning her laboured breathing into ragged pants. It takes everything she has to force herself still, if only to keep from encouraging the irate omega, who’s growling at her now, sounding more like an alpha than she can ever hope to be.

“Don’t make me wait for it, puppy.”

At this point Seungwan’s reactions are more reflexive than genuine. “I love – I love you!” Her words are clogged in her throat, but she forces them out in short, sharp gasps. “I love you! I’m sorry – sorry I tried to run, please, please don’t… please Hyunnie, you’re hurting me, stop please…”

Joohyun just grins and uses one more final burst of strength before she relents, keeping her alpha pinned up by her shoulders as she splutters and wheezes and struggles to stop the tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Don’t think you’re getting off scot-free. Seems like I haven’t trained you well enough, puppy. Outbursts like that are very rude, and they will not go unpunished.” She finally lets her go completely to reach for something Seungwan can’t see. It should soothe her, however the lack of pressure on her neck and the lack of a foot in her ribs does little to do so. Quite the contrary. It fires every nerve in her body up, because if Joohyun’s hands aren’t on her now, there’s no telling where they’ll be next.

When Joohyun finally turns around, it’s the familiar little remote she has clasped in her right hand and device in her left that kicks Seungwan’s legs into gear, weak as they are. It makes her forget. She forgets she’s tethered to a U bolt in the floor, forgets that if her omega can singlehandedly retrieve her mid-run, she stands no chance if they’re in the same room.

She forgets her place.

Still, she springs into action, aiming to lunge past her insane girlfriend and head straight for the door. But she never reaches it. As soon as she’s on her feet, Joohyun is straddling her back, knee digging into the base of her spine and forcing her face into the cold cement floor. Seungwan sobs harder, one hand grappling pathetically out in front of her while the other stays pinned under Joohyun’s knee.

“Bad alpha, bad puppy.” The omega patronises as she fumbles around with the contraption she had intended to put on her lover ever so nicely. Of course, Seungwan had to fuck that up too, didn’t she? The battered alpha goes rigid when she feels deceptively soft lips against the nape of her neck, kissing her so lightly and so comfortingly that she almost mistakes it as forgiveness. But that hope is quickly suffocated when she hears the click of a buckle and a lock, when there’s that tightness around her neck.

She suddenly realises that –

“I’m tired of false promises, puppy. If you can’t tell me the truth, then I think it’s better you can’t tell me anything, don’t you?”

– it’s much more painful to swallow in fear when there are two icy iron prongs burrowing themselves firmly into your throat.

[sideblogforcrimpy-plus]

A Series of Moments

Read it here or on AO3

Hotch/Reid, fluff, 2,739 words, one chapter only/completed.

This is a thing where Reid is quietly being close to Hotch on purpose and also happenstance, and he doesn't realise it's exactly what Hotch wants, too. Reid's version of hiding feelings is being scattered and obvious, whereas Hotch's is Glaring.

“‘Morning, Hotch. I didn’t think I’d see you in here this early.”

“I’m always early, but this is odd for you.” It wasn’t a question, but Reid knew he wanted an answer anyway.

“I couldn’t sleep, and I wanted to at least be productive. Do you know if we’re getting a case today?” 

“Not until JJ’s in.” Reid felt a little ridiculous for asking, and he fiddled with the rolled cuff of his shirt, the warmth outside having made him roll it up on his way to work. He looked up at Hotch then, noticing the man’s gaze of his rolled sleeves. 

“It’s warm outside, huh? I was reading this morning that-”

“You look good, Reid.” It wasn’t how his rants were usually derailed, so it had a more lasting effect than normal. Reid looked back down at his sleeves before lifting his head to see Hotch’s retreating back. Rather suddenly, it seemed warmer inside than out.

 “Reid, are you making a habit of being here both earlier and later than everyone but myself?”

 -

“I uh, I haven’t been getting to sleep well, of late. So I thought I may as well get a head start on some paperwork while I can.”

“You’re not going to do that at home?”

“It’s easier to focus here. Is it like that for you, too?” He was twirling a pen in his fingers, and he’d been doing more of it than actual writing, not that he was going to tell his superior that.

Just like how Hotch wasn’t going to tell him that going home to an empty house was getting harder and harder, so he stared at Reid before walking off to the kitchen, instead. Reid was left at his desk wondering why such a question had earned him Hotch’s glare.

 “If you’re not going home in time to cook, you should at least eat.” Hotch dropped Indian takeout at Reid’s desk on his way past. Reid didn’t have time to say anything more than a ‘thank you, Hotch’ before the older man was sequestered in his office again. He’d left before Hotch that night, like always, even though he’d stayed later than intended.

 Not being in their own office could be annoying enough, but being in an office where it seemed twice as hot as normal made things worse. Not only that, but it was a hard case, and Reid wished he knew how to fix the temperamental aircon. He’d slung his cardigan and bag over the chair, rolled up his sleeves, and unbuttoned the top of his shirt, cursing the fact that the others were out working different parts of the case where they could catch a breeze, and he was trapped in an office alone working the geographical profile.

 -

He came back from the kitchen with a bottle of water from the fridge, gulping down a third of it when he sat down again. He almost spat it back up, too, when Hotch’s figure appeared soundlessly in the doorway.

“Sir! I-I didn’t see you there. Any updates from the others?” He thumbed away some water from his lips as Hotch’s glare stayed pinned on him. 

“No.”

He screwed the cap back on the bottle, then held it against his neck and let out a sigh at the cool relief. He didn’t notice that he’d closed his eyes, but opening them again showed Hotch was still glaring, and Reid realised he hadn’t said anything else yet.

“Uh, the profile is still coming along, but I’ve made a lot of progress. Would you like to come see?”

“No, I trust you’re doing well. Thank you for the update.” Puzzled, Reid leaned to the side to see if his boss spoke to anyone else after leaving the room. It was only after he was out of Reid’s eyesight that Hotch took a deep breath, loosening his tie.

Hiding in a glorified broom closet while waiting to see if, not when, a serial killer came back to his apartment wasn’t Reid’s idea of a great time. Especially since it was still apparently 100 degrees and he was trapped in it with Hotch. His superior had been sporting an incredible frown, and his frame was rigid in the partial light.

Reid was trying not to focus on thetop, undone buttons on Hotch's shirt shirt beneath the FBI vest, and was trying harder still not to stare at the sweat making its way down Hotch’s neck to catch at his collarbone. Reid swallowed, wishing that the closet were completely dark despite how uncomfortable that would have made him feel.

He was thrown back to a time in school where he and a female classmate had been chosen for the dreaded ‘seven minutes in heaven’ at the one birthday party he had attended. He and the girl had sat quietly in the closet the whole time, neither saying a word. At least with her, he hadn’t been having vivid dreams of what they could be doing if left alone.

He really wished it was completely dark in there, even though he knew it’d make him maybe a little fearful. Better that than turned on.

“Reid,” Hotch’s voice was quiet, tense. “I can hear you thinking. Either Benson’s going to walk in and we’ll listen to see if he gives anything away about where he’s keeping the girls before making an arrest, or Rossi will radio to say they’ve got him. Stay alert, definitely, but relax a little if you can. You’re making it hard to focus.” Right back at you.

Hotch was looking out of the gaps in the door, and Reid’s gaze trailed from Hotch’s unbuttoned collar and down his arm, eyes tracing the veins in the other man’s forearm. He went back up Hotch’s arm to the dip at the base of his neck, between his collarbones. When his stare travelled further up to Hotch’s face, he nearly yelped when he noticed Hotch looking at him. 

He swallowed again and stared down at the gun in his hands, making a show of checking it over instead of looking at Hotch.

“... Reid?”

Whatever he was going to say was cut off by Rossi’s voice over the radio, letting them know Benson was caught and being taken in for interrogation. Reid nearly tripped over himself in his rush to get out of the closet, not wanting Hotch to mention how lecherous Reid must have looked. He'd buy Rossi something to show how grateful he was if it wouldn't bring about questions of why he was grateful.

 “As many things as I have read, listened to, and watched, none of them have been about how to change a tire. Besides, do we even have the tools to do that with us?”

 -

Hotch and Reid were pulled over by the side of the road, a thick canopy of trees blocking out the light of the stars. Hotch was pacing outside the vehicle, holding his phone up as he did to see if he got reception. Hotch was ignoring Reid in favour of frowning more and more at his phone.

“It’s not a matter of how high you hold the phone, Hotch. Garcia told us the cell towers would take anywhere between a couple hours to a couple says to fix. I’m pretty sure she was going to say more, but then we drove out of the range of the cell tower that was functional. Hotch?”

“Reid, this was a hard case, and I wanted to get back to the motel, sleep, and then get home. I know what Garcia said, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. Besides, what if they've come back online by now?”

Reid didn’t want to mention the statistics of repairs and timeframes, knowing he’d only make Hotch more angry. Instead, he sullenly lowered the back of his chair until it was inclined enough for him to consider a truly uncomfortable sleep in the car. After a while, the driver’s side door opened and closed, Hotch’s sigh at seeing Reid breaking the younger’s train of thought.

“You think it’ll take so long that we’ll have time to sleep, Reid?”

“Likely yes, but regardless, someone will mention to Garcia that we aren’t at the motel if this goes on for too much longer. And then she’ll let them know where we are based on the cell tower we were last connected to, where our call cut out, and where we were headed to. We’ll just have to deal with it getting basically pitch black, is all.” 

Hotch’s frown made a reappearance at Reid’s tone. “You truly don’t like the dark, do you?”

Reid’s silence was telling. He may have nodded, but both of them were leaving their phones alone to preserve battery power for when they could make calls, so there was nothing to light the car.

“Hotch?”

“Yeah, Reid?”

“Please keep talking. It’s… Stressful, right now. Hearing you, it’ll help.”

Hotch’s voice was odd when replying, but Reid was too focused on the near total darkness to think about it.

“What about?”

“Anything. Jack. What’s he into these days?”

Hotch was awkward to start, but as he kept going, his voice reflected how proud he was. At some point, Reid’s hand had encircled Hotch’s wrist. After a while, Hotch twisted his hand palm up and laced his fingers with Reid’s.

“You know, if they keep going down this path with nature-based experiments like the volcanoes they made, maybe you could help him?” After a beat of silence, Hotch made to pull his hand from Reid’s, but Reid’s grip tightened.

“I’d like that. You wouldn’t mind me coming over for something like that?”

“No, not for something like that. Nor anything else I can think of.” Reid’s chest felt tight. No longer due to the surrounding dark, but the nerves at what he was thinking of saying.

“What about… Could I come over even when Jack isn’t there?”

“I’d like that.” This time the statement was quiet, but Hotch’s thumb stroking the side of Reid’s hand was reassuring.

“Hotch?”

“Yeah, Reid?”

“You make the dark more bearable.”

After a couple minutes, Reid’s phone chimed, and he jumped in his seat, smacking his head. Hotch’s hand cradled the back of the man’s head as he fished his own phone from his pocket, dialling Garcia to let her know of their car troubles.

Hotch had given Reid a lift home when they finally got back, and the ride was filled with comfortable silence. Reid had been thinking about his conversation with Hotch while they were trapped in the car with a flat. His hands in his lap moved so he laced his fingers together, thinking of how it felt to have Hotch’s fingers twined with his. How Hotch’s fingers had carded through his hair a little when Reid had smacked his head.

“Reid?” Hotch’s voice broke his reverie, and Reid noticed the car was parked outside his building already.

“Sorry, I spaced out for most of the drive. Ah, thank you.”

“That’s okay. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just… Distracted?”

Hotch nodded as Reid got out of the car, pulling his smaller bag over his shoulder before opening the back door for his go-bag. Hotch had already opened it from the other side, Reid’s go-bag in hand.

“Let me walk you up.” Reid hadn’t really wanted to leave Hotch’s presence yet, but hadn’t known how to prolong their being together. So with a smile Reid had to actively repress from an embarrassingly revealing and larger smile, he closed the door and led Hotch up to his unit.

“Excuse the mess I uh, wasn’t expecting visitors.”

“Do you often?” Hotch looked, for the first time, unsure. He was paused in the doorway, the handles of Reid’s bag held in both hands in front of him. Hotch was looking at Reid’s bag when he asked, but looked up to Reid with a self conscious air about him.

“No.” Back in his own house, and more sure that their conversations and moments had actually happened instead of being a tamer version of his dreams, Reid stepped close to Hotch. He tugged the man toward him slightly, reaching around him to close the door after Hotch was out of the way. He didn’t step back afterward, just bit his lip and looked back up at the older man.

“Does that put you at ease, a little?”

“For once, I’m pleasantly unsurprised.” Hotch set the bag down at his side, then moved his newly unburdened hands to Reid’s waist. “While that lifestyle isn’t bad, it’s not for me. And, I was hoping you felt the same.”

“I don’t do casual things, Hotch.”

“Would you mind using Aaron? We’re a bit close for surnames, I’d say.” Reid huffed out a laugh, his hands moving to rest on Aaron’s chest.

“You’re right, Aaron.” He went from looking at his hands to up at Aaron, the smile there easing the last of his nerves.

“Spencer, it’s obvious what I want, I’d think. Are you comfortable taking this further? Not- I mean by starting a relationship.”

Spencer nodded, his nerves coming back with more excitement in tow at hearing his first name from Aaron in this context. “Yeah, yeah I want that. I want you.�� After saying that, he couldn’t hold Aaron’s gaze anymore, and dropped his eyes back to his fingers on the man's chest.

Aaron let him, for a moment, but then one of the hands at Spencer’s waist moved to his cheek instead, lifting his eyes to Aaron’s once more.

“Spencer, I need a serious answer to my next question, alright? Before anything else.” At Spencer’s nod, he continued. “I need you to tell me that you’re not doing this just because I’m your superior and you don’t feel comfortable saying no. I need to hear that you want this, work and our positions within it completely set aside.”

Spencer’s fingers curled in Aaron’s shirt. “I do want this, and you. I have for a long time now, Aaron.” Spencer was a little pleased with himself for not verbally tripping, because Aaron’s intense gaze had him off-balance, and their closeness had his brain and heart working overtime.

“Lastly, you’re not going to let this affect our work. If you want to question or debate something at work, you’ll do that as normal, without the fear of it intervening with our relationship.”

Spencer’s smile grew, and he let out a little laugh. “I’ll do my best, I can be good at compartmentalising.”

“It’s also hard for you to keep quiet about the things in your head, isn’t it?” Aaron’s smile matched Spencer’s, and the younger nodded as he lightly tugged at Aaron’s shirt. He looked at Aaron’s eyes before his gaze fell to the man’s lips, and he tugged at Aaron’s shirt again.

When Aaron leaned forward, Spencer’s lips met his in his first kiss in a long time. And definitely Spencer’s most anticipated. One hand slid up Aaron’s chest to curl around the side of the man’s neck, instead. A small noise escaped him when Aaron’s hands moved, one wrapping around his lower back as the other moved to press beneath Spencer’s shoulder blades, pushing the two closer together. 

There was a hint of Spencer’s teeth at Aaron’s lips before the younger pulled away, his breath fast and shallow. 

“I’m not ready for everything, yet, and it’s-it’s been a while, for me.”

“Spencer, don’t worry about me moving too fast.” His lips briefly met Spencer’s again before he pulled back enough to nudge his nose against the younger man’s cheek. “I’ve only ever been with Hayley, so this will be quite new, though very desirable, to me.”

A thrill of excitement and nerves shot through Spencer as his fingers played with the hair at the back of Aaron’s neck. “I-I don’t know how good a teacher I’d be.”

“You don’t have to be. We can look at it as learning together, if that’d make you more comfortable.” Spencer surprised himself with a laugh, then pressed his lips to Aaron’s again.

“I’ll take you up on that.”

Spencer came into the briefing room with his hands in his pockets and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Nodding at Rossi, he sat down and adjusted how his tie slid beneath his cardigan. When he looked up to be met with Aaron’s glare, he at least knew it wasn’t due to anger this time.

 -

[goldeneyedgirl]

JaliceWeek20: Canon Gapfillers

What You Say

JaliceWeek20 Day 3: Canon Gapfillers

Notes: It seemed unsporting for my version of Jess and Alice not to make at least one appearance in Jaliceweek, especially since everyone is so enthusiastic about the WIP! This is kind of a missing scene that comes before Jess’s temper tantrum scene posted here. I’m not big on canon gapfillers, really, so this was the most fun way to write it and even then, I probably took liberties. 

Only 2.5 to go! We’re getting close!

Takes place upon Alice’s return from Volterra in New Moon. 

Rating: M-ish, I guess? NSFW, but not super graphic. 

Word Count: 2,245

—

“I’m sorry.”

They’re the first words she says to Jessamine when she gets back from Volterra.

When they get off the plane, Bella is pale and twitchy, and everyone is fussing around her and Edward. Maybe Jess has already put them all off, pushing interest and focus off of her and onto the human girl. Or maybe they don’t see what Alice does.

The rigidness in her stance, the way she’s holding herself so tightly, so she takes up no more space than she needs to, the blank look on her face… Alice wants to run to her side, to wrap her arms around Jess and reassure her. Draw out every that is causing the pain, tension, the fear.

Except she knows exactly what - who - caused it, and more than that, Jess isn’t in that place. Not in such a public place; she won’t be able to touch her until she’s calmed, when her gift is not stretched to the very breaking point.

So she stands as close as to Jessamine as she dares, and she stares into those golden eyes that she loves so much that are so blank yet sharp, and knows that this is not yet over; Edward might have thought Aro was their reckoning, but Alice knows for her, it is Jessamine’s hurt.

—

The drive home with Carlisle and Esme is… taunt. She answers Carlisle’s questions honestly, and halfway home, Jess takes a quiet breath and that’s good. That’s a step closer to Jess purging all the toxic emotions she’s trapped inside herself, a step closer to talking and explaining and apologising a dozen times over.

The relief Alice feels when she sees the Forks house washes over her, and then she realises what she’s done, and she cannot even look back at Jess; she knows now. Knows how afraid Alice was, knows how close she was to never coming home again.

Esme smiles gently at both of them as they troop up the stairs; light and dark, tall and small, both looking like they’re off to their own executions.

She sees the confrontation in her mind; the words are changing and a little bit muffled because of it, but it happens like this - she sits cross legged on the bed with her head bowed and she apologies. Jess rages at her, properly destroys the rocking chair, two lamps, and her closet door before storming off into her study. Then Jess will come back and hold her so tight that not a single molecule can get between then, when they are just a single entity scented of roses and salt and rain and basil, and they will curl up together on the bed like that, pressed together until the fear and the grief and the guilt slowly ebbs.

That is how it happens until it does.

Her Jess does have such a bad temper. She just can’t remember the last time it was directed at her (yes she can - ’49, Toledo. That was an ugly argument and Alice is still properly ashamed of her part in it.)

So Alice goes to take her place on the bed, on the blue floral duvet that she bullied Jess into picking out that Jess decided Alice would like best even though Alice had given her two choices she already liked equally, because that’s just how they decided things. Except, she never gets to take a seat on the bed, because Jess has changed her mind and the future is scrambled, as Jess grabs her arm and spins her around.

The rage is second to only the fear in Jess’s eyes and Alice wants to cry, wants to weep out her apologies because it was always about protecting Jessamine, never about anything else. Not about trust, not about ability, not about anything more or anything less than the fact that of everything that Alice was prepared to hand to Aro, prepared to cut down and sacrifice, Jess was never on that list.

“I’m sorry,” she manages, in a small voice, unable to tear her gaze from Jess’s.

“Sorry for what?” Jess hisses back, her eyes hard. “Sorry for running away? Sorry for lying? Sorry for deciding some human girl is worth more than yourself?  Sorry for giving up the one thing that kept us safe? Should I keep going?”

Alice is shaking now, shaking with the weight of Jess’s disappointment and fear and hurt.

She grasps Alice by her shoulders and half shakes her. “Why did you do it? Why, Alice? Do you love Bella Swan that much? Edward? Are they worth that much to you? Because they sure as hell aren’t worth half as much to me as you are.

“You lied to me, Alice.”

All the fight seems to seep from Jess, and she jerks away, leaving Alice feeling like she’s been stripped bare, and quite ashamed.

“I didn’t want you to worry.” The words sound childish and feeble, not at all convincing.

“Not to worry?” Jess’s foot strikes out, and the rocking chair is kindling in the corner; at least her visions were right about one thing. “Do you know what it was like, the waiting? To know what you were walking in to? To not know if you’d ever walk out? If I’d ever see you again?”

Alice wants to crawl into her arms right now, to hide there and admit that she was terrified, terrified for Edward and Bella, and then terrified for herself and Jess. But she knew that Jessamine wasn’t in that place yet, was still letting out all her pain and fear, her gift still raw from waiting with the rest of the family, absorbing all of their pain on top of her own. The time will come when they wrap their arms around each other and Alice will murmur her fears into Jess’s ear and Jess will do everything she can to soothe them

But that will be later. For now, it is about Jess’s pain, Jess’s rage.

“You swore to me you would never lie to me, and you would never leave me. Remember?” Jess snaps, pacing the room like an agitated lioness. “Remember promising me that, Alice?”

“I do, of course,” Alice said softly.

“So why? Why did you do it?” Jess is suddenly towering over her. “Make me understand, Alice.”

“Because they’re family. Because I couldn’t stand back and let Edward die for such a stupid, senseless reason when Bella was always going to be one of us - the visions never changed. But then I thought Bella… I swear, I didn’t think I’d make it, I thought I’d just be there to help Charlie through it,” Alice whispered.

She swallowed hard. Jess was silent, watching her carefully, a judge, jury, and executioner all in one - and Alice will accept her judgement willingly.

“There was no way you could have been there. If Edward had seen any one of us, he would have revealed himself faster, and Aro would have punished all of all. If you had been there, Jess, there was no future that showed us walking away. The only chance for survival was if it was just me and Bella - even Carlisle would have died, Jess.”

“There were a million alternatives, Alice - I could have stayed in the goddamn car,” Jess said in that dangerous, low voice.

“You think there was ever a chance of you sitting in a car waiting whilst I faced the Volturi? Jess, that was never even a possibility. You couldn’t be there.” Alice was pleading now, and reached out to grab Jess’s hand.

Within a second, Jess has her pressed against the wall with her legs looped around her waist, Jess’s hand cradling the back of her head.

“Never again,” Jess says sternly.

“Never again, I promise,” Alice said breathlessly.

“Promises aren’t exactly your strongest argument right now, Miss Cullen,” Jess bites back, and then they are kissing, roughly - Jess’s kiss is harsh and unforgiving, and Alice melts into her arms, letting her love take what she needs to heal the hurt.

She lets Jess push her down onto the bed, her mouth hard and demanding as her hands dive under Alice’s clothing. For an empath, Jess has always been so physical, and it’s never been a bad thing, since she knows exactly what she’s doing. Her mouth is hot as it makes its way down Alice’s neck and when Alice gets her wits about her and reaches for Jess’s shirt, her hands are quickly pinned on either side of her head, Jess breathing, “don’t you dare move,” in her ear as her shirt and bra are torn away, Jess’s knee is between both of Alice’s legs and if this is her penance, Alice is going to go down willingly. She’s already got matching bite marks on the inside of both her thighs, overlapping from dozens of similar encounters over the years.

Jess has her stripped, except for her panties, and is staring at her with a dark but satisfied look, as her gift ripples through Alice, who arches slightly on the bed, grinding against Jess’s knee. She catches a glimpse of them in the mirror overhanging the dresser, a nearly obscene tableau of Jess hovering over her fully clothed, and her splayed across the bed in only her undergarments, grinding against Jess’s denim-clad leg.

Jess leans forward, cradling her head so gently, pulling her gift back enough for Alice to remember coherent thought, but instead of kissing her, Jess’s lips graze her ear as she whispers, firm and cold, “mine.”

And Alice is willing to agree to anything because that’s the moment that Jess strikes, her hand sliding into Alice’s panties and everyone is going to hear everything tonight, because she doesn’t even need to ask to know that Jessamine feels the same - like an exposed nerve, a cornered animal. The threat has passed, but it is also coming for them, in some kind of hazy future, and if incredibly loud sex is how they’re going to deal with that new knowledge, well, there are worse coping methods.

—

Jess lets them both leave the room when they are summoned to Bella’s meeting.

“Calling family meetings now,” she mutters, and Alice elbows her. Jessamine’s grudge holding is legendary - nothing Bella does between now and graduation will be immune to her judgement. Right now, though, with her legs feeling a little shaky and her own plans for her mate for the next day or two forming in her mind, Alice thinks the trait is cute.

Emmett starts to applaud when they both walk in, and for once Jess just rolls her eyes and high-fives him, whilst Alice primly takes a seat. Bella’s looking at the spot just beyond Alice’s left ear, her eyes quite red, so she must have been here for at least an hour, when Jess just wanted to see how loud Alice could get… Edward just looks like he’s living his worse possible day, and - already having seen why Bella has called the meeting - Alice thought it might definitely be in the top ten.

Jess sits beside her, resting her foot on the back of Alice’s chair, and Alice tries not to smirk when she feels the strands of love and lust and mischief twist their ways around her.

The vote for Bella joining the family goes just as she sees it, even ending with Edward shattering the television into three large pieces. As Bella departs and the rest of the family raise to disappear into the depths of the house, Alice leans over and rests her head against Jess’s arm.

“You know I’m going to kill Edward for putting you in danger,” Jess says conversationally.

“You have the right to be angry,” Alice agreed, nuzzling against her arm like a feline. “But you know murder would upset Esme, and wouldn’t really solve anything.”

Jess scowls, and in one motion, Alice has been lifted and settled into Jess’s lap. “A maiming then.”

Alice giggles, though she know that Jess has never made a hollow threat in her life. Her temper is legendary, and apparently Edward will be facing a reckoning with Jess as well.

“I love you,” Alice said, looking up at her love. “Never, ever doubt that every single thing I do, I do it for you. For us. Because I love you and I want to protect you, and there’s nothing that I can think of that I wouldn’t do to keep you safe and happy, Jessie.”

Jessamine closes her eyes and rests her chin on Alice’s head. “I don’t need protecting when it puts you in danger; that will never be okay with me,” Jess replies.

“And I will never be okay with you risk yourself to protect me, so I am afraid we are at an impasse,” Alice retorts cheerily, reminding them both of Maria’s visit to Calgary in ’76.

Jess rolls her eyes, but nods infinitesimally so she doesn’t have to move her head. She sighs, such a heavy sound and Alice aches to make this better, to erase the hurt completely. But she knows that will take time, and she’s never been known for her patience.

“I love you,” Alice says meekly, settling against Jess’s chest.

“I never doubted that,” Jess says mildly, and the future flutters and reforms, and Alice smiles, happy to sit quietly with Jess for awhile. Everything will be okay but, most importantly, Jess will be okay, and that’s all Alice ever wanted.

[amelink66world]

Love of my Life

Heyy guys!! This is the next part. How you enjoy reading it!! You can even find this story on wattpad. It goes by the same name...Love of my Life 💫

I like you, like a lot!

A blinding ray of sunshine wakes Link up. He yawns and tries to stretch but something on his chest stops him. His body is stiff and rigid from sleeping in the same position. He tilts his head amd opens his eyes but darkness clouds his vision. Did I drink too much last night? He touches his face and comes in contact with something very soft. He suddenly hears a soft humming and his eyes widen suddenly becoming cognizant of the events of last night. The memories of their eventful night come rushing to him causing blood to rush down there.

He becomes conscious of their closeness. He moves his head slightly to look down at her. Amelia is out like a light, sleeping softly on his chest. Her head in the crook of his neck and her hot breath tingling his skin. She hums softly and turns her head to get more comfortable, her face coming directly in his line of vision. Link stares at her face, a radiant smile creeping up on  his face.

                  He wraps his arms tightly around his girlfriend, bringing her body closer to him. He was amazed by the beautiful creature lying on his chest everyday. She never failed to surprise him. How she sneaked up on him so stealthily, he would never be able to comprehend. He had fallen in love before but not this hard. He absolutely adored Amelia. Her innocence, kindness, wit and her weird sense of humor, beauty ( both internal and external ) , her intelligence and brains, God she was intelligent and her courage. She never feared anything. He felt so damn proud of her.

How well she handled tense situations and the way she stood up for herself and held her ground made him want to kiss her senseless. He couldn't even imagine how she must've felt in that situation. He would have definitely ran away someplace far and drunk himself to sleep if he would've been in her shoes. He held her closer to himself and buried his face in her hair. He would always protect her. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. He couldn't even begin to imagine what he would do if something happened to her. He silently promised himself that he would always be there to catch her when she fell.

His thoughts whirled in his mind. And then there was this 'L' word which constantly circled his mind for the certain brunette in his arms. Did he actually love love her?? Does she feel the same? Naahh, not possible. She obviously doesn't LOVE me. I am that kind of a person who you date just to have fun. There's no love involved ever. Never happened with him before. Nope. He couldn't shake the disappointment out of his mind at this thought. He obviously couldn't talk to Amelia about this. She would definitely freak out!

He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he almost missed the blue eyed beauty stirring awake on his chest. He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and kissed her fluttering eyes. He then proceeded to plant feather light kisses on her cheeks and she hummed in pleasure. She slowly opened her eyes and blinked up at him. Both of them were smiling like idiots with heart eyes.

Amelia was feeling so giddy. Now that's a good morning. Ahhh, this is where I wanna wake up always, snuggling against his chest and his arms around her. It was indescribable how much she loved him. HIS COMPANY. It's definitely too soon to fall in love obviously. But this is who she was. Always falling in love too quickly. But she knew it in her heart that being with him was not impulsive or  Hurricane Amelia decision. Nope, can't blurt all of this in front of him. He'll definitely freak out and leave me. I can't afford to lose him. She pushed her array of thoughts out of her mind.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and leant in to kiss him passionately on his lips. Their lips moving softly against each other. Amelia broke the kiss, coming up for air. Link moved down to her neck. Amelia breathlessly replied, " Hey, you! "

Link chuckled, his hot breath on her neck causing a shiver to run down her spine. " Hey, yourself! "

           After their shenanigans last night, both of them were highly playful. Link flipped their positions making her yelp in surprise. He hovered above her and lopsidedly grinned down at her. Amelia couldn't help but reciprocate his action. " So I reviewed our schedules last night before leaving, we have a day off. Sooo...", he winked at her. Amelia laughed out loud at his childishness.

She tightened her arms around his neck and breathed in his ear huskily, " So what are you gonna do about that? ", and bit his earlobe before leaning back on the bed again. His eyes had considerably darkened. Ahhh that woman!! He knew Amelia was testing him because she knew how much he loved it when she did that. He growled at her smug grin and dove right away.

Two rounds of vigorous lovemaking later, Amelia resumed her position from the morning on his chest, utterly spent and exhausted. She was catching her breath while leisurely tracing patterns on his hairy chest. Link had one arm loosely wrapped her back and the other in her hair, running his fingers gently through her short, brown locks.

Both of them were deep in their thoughts after their blissful shenanigans, when suddenly her chuckle broke hin out of his reverie. She looked up at his curious expression before answering his silent question.

"How that's what you call a good morning." He laughed at her cute expression and the deep rumble in his chest made her heart flutter. I always did love his laugh! She grinned at him before laying down on his chest again. Link wanted to know everything about her. Everything. But first he wanted to ask her something which had been circling his mind ever since New York.

After several moments of quite, he couldn't help himself and broke the silence. " Amelia? ", he whispered reluctantly. She looked up expectantly and recognizing hesitation in his voice, brought her hand to his cheek and caressed. " Yes ? ", her curious gaze urged him on and he continued.

" I have a question. This has been circling my mind for a really long time and I really wanna know." He paused and took a deep breath worrying Amelia. Is he gonna propose? WHAT? That is downright stupid, Amelia. Shut up. Will he ask me to move in with him? That doesn't seem like a bad idea but at least not right now. Too soon. Then what? Shit ! Does he want to know about my addiction? Did Alex tell him about Christopher? Naahh...he won't do this. Did Owen tell him something? Does he wanna breakup with me?

Seeing her troubled face, he realised his tone caused a whirlwind of questions to arise in her mind. He knew she was freaking out. He took her face in his hands. " Hey, hey, hey. You have nothing to worry about. I did mean to make you uncomfortable. I'll ask you my question only if you're okay with it. We don't need to rush into anything. Okay? " She nodded and took a deep breath again. She braced herself. " I really want to know about that giant sized tumor of yours. What happened?", he asked her cautiously.

                    Amelia blinked down at him. This she did not expect. Is he for serious? She couldn't help but burst out laughing. Link was beyond astonished. I most certainly did not prepare myself for this reaction. But who can blame her? That's Amelia for you. Always finding humor in every situation. She never failed to blow his mind away. His disbelieving and confused gaze allowed her to control her laughter. Between chuckles she replied, " I'm so sorry." Chuckle. " But you scared me for a minute there. God, I'll kill you." Chuckle. She sobered up then. " Well, no one really asked me after when it happened. Do you really wanna know? "

She actually hesitated to tell him because that giant meningioma had made her do some pretty stupid stuff and she did not want him to know about her dirty laundry. But he already knows so much about me and didn't run away. So why not?

             " Yes, Amelia. I really do. This was a big part of your life. And I really want to know you better to you know, take this thing further. I'm all in. And I would really like to know about my girlfriend's life better," he grinned. She smiled up at him radiantly at the G word and felt butterflies in her stomach. She kissed him on his cheek.

" Well okay, BOYFRIEND. If you're so curious then..." She took a deep breath. Link never stopped caressing her face which was very comforting. He listened to her intently and with all seriousness.  Okay, I hope he doesn't judge me. " So here goes. So I operated on a child two years back

He had a giant tumor invading his jaw. Each and every single person in the hospital undermined my authority and advised me against moving ahead with the surgery. Especially Jackson. He compared me with my brother and tried to prove me impulsive, reckless and what not." Link's gaze hardened at that and wanted to lunch the living daylights out of Avery but he didn't say anything. "Owen and I were already having a lot of problems so there was that also. I wanted to prove him and others wrong. I wanted to prove them that I was capable and worthy. That I was equally talented as Derek. I spent weeks buried in my research, trying to find one way not to kill him. Then it hit me. I knew I could do it. The child's family had faith in me. I had faith in me. I went ahead with the surgery. Deluca was my resident then. He was one person who always stood by my side when I was his teacher. He was a great student and friend. He still is." She smiled fondly.

" Anyway, so I operated on him there were some complications and I thought he would never wake up. I had to dismantle his jaw mysf and we had to page Avery because I didn't know how to assemble it myself. There was that. But anyway, then he gained consciousness and had no side effects, nothing! The family was ecstatic that she at least got to live and teach! I was exultant! I proved Avery wrong. His ego took a huge hit and again he said something mean to me but I didn't care. I was riding a different kind of a high." Link grinned. I'm so proud! Way to go!

" Carina , Deluca's sister was working on a project about orgasms affecting the brains or something and was looking for volunteers to to masturbate in the MRI while she monitored their brains. So I volunteered because I wanted to celebrate" Link's eyebrows touched his hairline at that, a suggestive smile spreading on his face. There was glint in his eye and was about to speak his mind when Amelia swatted his arm and sternly reprimanded him, " Don't even think about it. I'm not doing that! " He acted disappointed but then chuckled. She couldn't help but laugh along with him. What a dirty little man! Idiot. She chuckled and shook her head before proceeding.

" So where was I? Oh yes, masturbation," she laughed. " My scans came up and that's how my tumor was diagnosed. I mean, I didn't even realised it was my brain I was staring at and lauding praises at the beautiful tumor. Anyway, I took a week to gather my thoughts which were honestly, all tumor. I think my entire life of ten years before the diagnosis was all the tumor talking. Meredith and Maggie still make fun of me, I was so damn reckless. " She shakes her head reminiscing of the all the absurdity. Would I really do those things now? Had the tumor not been there, would I have done things differently?

Link nudged her shoulder, urging her further on. " The first person I told was Maggie. I mean, the Delucas knew obviously, but I swore them to secrecy. Maggie helped me to tell Meredith and Owen. I called Tom for the surgery. But before that I completely freaked out. I thought I had messed up in all of my past surgeries, I mean, how ironical is it? The head of neuro has a brain tumor and doesn't realise it? My brother died of a brain bleed." It's funny how irony works sometimes. It's hilarious! To ease her inner turmoil, Link chuckled, " Hey, you're not alone. I'm the head of Ortho and I had osteosarcoma. Ironical too, right? " Amelia's eyes softened and she planted a kiss on his cheek.

Link breathed her in and hugged her close. I wish I would've been there for her! Richard then reassured me that I did not kill my patients. He even proved that my success rate was higher than Derek's! " She smiled gratefully and Link couldn't help but feel slightly smug for having her as his. " We stood in the operating room on the superhero pose for five minutes and then..."

" Wait, what is the superhero pose? ," Link asked her inquisitively. Having been a fan of superheroes his whole life, he couldn't control the way his heart thundered in his chest and the prospect of her believing in them too! How much more perfect can she possibly be for me ??!! Amelia waved her hand in a weird hand gesture, kind of like dismissing. " Ah, it's nothing. I just believe that if you stand like a superhero for a considerable amount of time, the body releases endorphins and hormones which make the person confident and he does considerably well in his task. " Link was smiking like an idiot. God, help me.

" I gained consciousness after 22 or so hours and woke up gorked." She laughed loudly at Link's really worried expression. She kissed him soundly on the lips. " Don't worry, babe. I just woke up speaking French which I didn't even know I knew. So that's that. After that everything went back to normal. Owen and I realised that he married the tumor and we broke up. We were friends up until I developed real feelings for him. I actually did send him to pursue Teddy when we were still married. Wait, that was Tumor Amelia, I guess. So he went ahead and impregnated her. " She shrugged her shoulders. Link was getting a bit uncomfortable with the track their conversation had taken. Her voice suddenly dropped an octave and Link had to strain a bit to hear her correctly. " When we came to know, which was after months, I broke up with him. We went to the court to get Leo's legal custody. We had broken up but we still decided to co-parent. That's when Owen told me that I was fundamentally incapable of love and that I sabotage all of my relationships. I was so hurt that I withdrew my name from the papers and left. That's when I decided that it was enough and I desperately needed a change of scenery. That's when New York happened." She winked at him and tried to sound cheerful at the last part but she couldn't escape Link's penetrating gaze obviously.

Link suddenly sat up, holding her and taking her body along with him. She straddled him and wrapped her legs loosely around his waist after the initial shock wore off. Link was intently looking at her without uttering a single word. His gaze pierced into her soul and that was her undoing. She let go all of a sudden and for the first time after she heard those words did she allow herself to completely succumb to her miseries. She buried her face in his neck and sobbed with her hands holding onto him for dear life. Link secured her in his arms tightly deciding to never ever let go. He nuzzled her hair and softly rocked her body. He caressed her hair and back in order to soothe her or provide at least some sort of comfort.

How can a person say these things?! That too to Amelia! I'm gonna kill that asshole! How dare he hurt her this way? He couldn't recognize the sobbing woman in his arms. She did not appear her strong and brave self, she looked so...broken. Link couldn't bear seeing her like this. No one was entitled to hurt such a beautiful and pure soul like this! He tightened his arms around her, with tears in his eyes trying his level best to comfort her.

  ��              She finally let go. The dam was now broken and tears were flowing endlessly. She allowed herself to cry freely but resolutely decided that this was the last time she would allow herself to cry over that man. When her sobs were under control and she finally allowed herself to think consciously, that's when she freaked out. Oh God, now he knows how broken I truly am. He'll definitely break up with me. No one wants all this baggage so early on in a relationship. Nooo. I cannot lose him too! A fresh set of tears closed her vision.

He pried her away from her face and delicately held her face in his hands. She absolutely refused to look at him even after several long moments. " Hey, hey, hey. Shhhhh. It's okay. Come on, look at me Amelia. Look at me, at least " She finally met his gaze and was surprised to not find disgust or judgmental eyes but loving and kind eyes staring back at her, inviting her. This man never failed to amaze her. He was ready to accept and love her even with all of her mess and dirty laundry.

" Listen to me and you listen to me loud and clear." He spoke to her in a firm and stern voice. " I want you to get this straight. You are NOT incapable of love, do you hear me or shall I repeat myself. Because I'll spend my whole life repeating this. You are the strongest and most lovable, adorable, sweet, kind, humble human being I know. Don't you dare let what that man thinks affect yourself. You trust me, right? " She nodded her head timidly, never breaking eye contact. At her affirmation, " Then believe me, Amelia, I am the happiest person on this planet that you gave this relationship a second chance. You have no idea how much I like you!!! I mean, I'M having a really hard time believing how much I like you, Amelia. " He preferred using the word 'like' and not the other 'L' word he so desperately wanted to use to avoid freaking her out further. " So don't you even dare go around disrespecting my choice and MY GIRLFRIEND. She is a fabulous person. She doesn't need this bullshit invading her mind like this. Do you hear me? " He then determinedly kissed her passionately and then followed by doing his favourite thing to do to her. He kissed her entire face, kissed her tears away and pecked her cheeks. He moved down to her neck and pressed light kisses every inch of her skin. He kissed her on the lips again before hugging her tightly.

Amelia was blown away. Never did she ever experience such a strong feeling that she was experiencing now. Her heart would definitely burst right then and there. No man had ever adored and loved her so much! She was never this vulnerable around anybody. He elicited those emotions in her which she thought were long since buried deep inside her heart. She pulled back and initiated the passionate kiss this time, hearing his words. She chastely pecked his lips once more before pulling back. Her eyes twinkling and a radiant and grateful smile gracing her features. Link's reassuring smile arose those sleepless butterflies in her stomach again. Don't they need sleep?! Always tarting and flying around whenever he's around, which is always!!! Stupid creatures.

               Amelia suddenly chuckled. Link was confused for a second but how well he had come to know her, this was not at all astonishing. She had a weird sense of humor, always finding something or the other funny in serious situations. " So did you really talk about me in the third person? When I'm sitting right in front of you? " The grin that spread on her face was so infectious that both of them were left a giggling mess at that absurd line!

" So I believe," Link shrugged and grinned at her. After the laughter died down, Amelia wrapped her body tightly around his and whispered, " Thank you."

Link acted clueless and embarrassed all at the same time. Why can't he ever take a compliment?!

She leaned dangerously close to him and whispered, her hot breath touching his lips, " And for the record, when you go about ordering others about not disrespecting YOUR GIRLFRIEND, if you come across MY BOYFRIEND along the way, you tell him that I like him so damn much and I'mall in too! " She smiled sheepishly at the admission and kissed the corner of his mouth.

His eyes had turned a dark shade of grey and he kissed her senseless. He laid her down when the kiss became heated. She breathlessly broke the kiss to say something but he silenced her with his lips. She tried again and again but he just didn't allow her, always silencing her with his lips. She needed to say just this one thing but he was not having it! She broke the kiss again and put a finger on his lips. He tried to remove her finger blocking his lips from touching hers but she was unyielding. His expression was becoming annoyed. He just wanted to kiss his girlfriend! Right after she admitted that she liked him so damn much! Amelia hurried to say, " Next time we'll do you. We'll play Spill your Guts with you. 'Cause I really know about my boyfriend's past life desperately too." Her radiant smile was his undoing and he dove right back in. Again she broke the kiss.

This was it! He was not having any more of her jokes right now! " Also, I'm so, so, so damn hungry," both their stomach rumbled in response and Link looked down at her with wide eyes. " Looks like I'm not the only one." Both of them laughed like idiots before deciding to feed the rats running around in their their tummies.

Author's Note :

Heyyy guyss!!!! Hope everyone is doing okay!

I didn't want to make it so angsty but couldn't help myself 🙈  This issue needed to be addressed, like they never even thought about showing us how hurt Amelia truly was after hearing those words! And I just had to add caring and protective Link in the mix. Can't do without him really, now can we? ;)))

Anyway, I'll try my level best to update every week ;) I accept prompts and suggestions, so if you have a special request, hit the comments section !!! ;) Don't forget to heart, reblog and comment!! I really appreciate all of your comments. They are so encouraging! I thank all of you out there reading for your constant support! Couldn't have done it without you people.❤Until then. 

[crispyjenkins]

'ullo! Dicky here, what do you think about a song prompt? I give you the song and the ship and you let the song guide you??? Ship: Obikin Song: Help by Hurts Prompt: Aftermath of Satine's death By the way, I love your blog (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

(hello!! heck yeah you can!! oh man i haven’t listened to hurts since devotion came out, it’s so strange to listen to them again, so thank you for the rec ゞ(´ε｀●) i’m so flattered you like my blog (always lovely to find another on the spectrum!), i’m having so much fun with it and all you lovely people. 

is this what you wanted?? because anakin fought my ass the entire time and i hope you like it anyway!) 

Anakin had not seen his master grieve for Qui-Gon. In the whirlwind of the battle, and the funeral, and the celebrations, and then trying to figure out where he fit in a temple he was not raised in, Anakin just... hadn’t noticed Obi-Wan dealing with Qui-Gon’s death after Naboo. 

  It’s only now, watching Obi-Wan return to the Negotiator that Anakin realises that that had been by design. 

  Because Obi-Wan debriefs Cody like it’s nothing, accepts his reprimand from the whole council on holocomm like it doesn’t hurt, and then asks Anakin how the 501st is doing like he hadn’t just held the love of his life as she died in his arms.

  And the thought makes the dragon in Anakin’s chest so unfathomably angry he doesn’t even—

  “Anakin, are you quite alright?”

  “I’m going to throw you out the airlock.”

  Obi-Wan blinks at him with sincere surprise, and that just makes it worse. “I beg your pardon?” he asks calmly, pausing in the hall on the way to his quarters. Anakin technically has to get back to the Resolute, technically has to help sort out this entire mess of a mission, technically has to step up and be a proper general and Jedi and do his job, but Obi-Wan has always been more important than all that anyways. 

  Anakin takes a deep breath to stop himself from yelling, bolstering the Force around himself, because surely Obi-Wan isn’t actually this heartless, isn’t actually this put-together and proper, he can’t be. “Didn’t she mean anything to you?”

  Obi-Wan’s brows twitch before smoothing back into blank indifference. “I surely don’t know what you mean.”

  “Satine, Obi-Wan!” Anakin jerks his hand in the vague direction of the nearest viewport, though it’s only hyperspace rushing by. “How can you just prance around like she wasn’t just murdered right in front of you? Like she meant nothing? You’re the perfect Jedi, I get it, but you can’t just—”

  Obi-Wan grabs his wrist before he can gesture again, grip too tight as his chest jerks. “Do not,” he says, just short of gasping, “presume to know what I’m feeling at this moment, Anakin.”

  Anakin stops from ripping himself free, startled by the way Obi-Wan will not meet his eye. Force, now that Anakin's been forced to pay attention, his master looks awful, skin almost translucent and eyes over-bright, a gauntness to his cheeks that Anakin doesn't remember there being before. The fingers that hold his wrist tremble, and Obi-Wan's whole body leans away from him as if expecting to be struck, as if preparing to run. 

  It's so out of character, this fear, that Anakin forgets everything he planned to say. 

  "Do not... mistake my control for apathy." Obi-Wan slowly releases him like it physically hurts to, and Anakin wishes he understood the expression that he can't quite will back to calm and collected. 

  "Obi-Wan," he starts, but his usual quick-thinking fails him immediately.

  "Just because I do not rage does not mean I am not filled with fury." He takes a step away and clenches his fists instead, and Anakin realises he's never been on the receiving end of Obi-Wan truly angry, not like this. "Have you learned nothing from me, Anakin?"

  And then Anakin's a padawan again, after another fit of temper at another inappropriate time, scuffing his shoe under his master's disappointed gaze. Force, but he always hated upsetting him. 

  "Master, I..." He swallows and has to look away, clenching his jaw.

  "A Jedi cannot be controlled by their emotions, we cannot let our... feelings dictate our actions. I went after Satine against the council's wishes, I let my fear control me, and she paid the price. Do not presume that what you see is all there is to know."

  "So you cannot grieve?" Anakin snaps, rallying his anger like a shield. "You can't even admit if it was your fault?"

  The Force flashes a warning, like it does before blood is spilt, like before everything goes to kriffing hell, and Anakin freezes as Obi-Wan leans into his space with a snarl. "I only appear not to have blood on my hands, because Satine did not bleed."

  Anakin lets him whirl around towards his room, and does not follow.

-

  Only once the watchguard cycles over does Anakin sneak back towards the command quarters, dodging his own men and Obi-Wan's with practiced ease. He resolutely doesn’t think as he goes, because he’ll chicken out if he does, and he knows he can’t leave things the way they had.

  The way he had. Kriff. 

  He keys in the code for the door and tries to ignore the way Obi-Wan’s shields slam up around his mind. His old master sits on his bunk with his back to the wall, shirtless in the warmth of his quarters, and he barely looks up as Anakin shuts the door behind himself.

  He looks him over, the bruising from the fight with Maul that he should have gotten checked out, the way the blanket pools around his waist, and notes with disdain that it doesn’t look like he’s cried even a little bit. 

  Sighing, Anakin toes out of his boots and leaves them next to Obi-Wan’s on the mat by the door, before padding softly the rest of the way into the room. He’s here to help, not antagonise Obi-Wan, so he eases himself onto the floor by the bunk, close enough that Obi-Wan can reach for him if he wishes, but far enough away that he can ignore him instead, if that’s what he needs.

  “Master, I... wanted to apologise.” He shuffles uncomfortably. “You know how my mind gets ahead of me, I didn’t...”

  “I’m too tired to lecture you, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says softly, and Anakin mentally curses.

  “No, that’s not—” Exhaling harshly through his nose, Anakin takes a moment to get his anger back under control before trying again. “I know you don’t let anyone around when you’re hurting, and you sure as hell weren’t going to ask Cody, and I just. Didn’t want you to be alone.”

  The silence that settles over them isn’t quite as heavy as it was before, but it isn’t good either. Anakin had tried telling himself that he’d be alright if Obi-Wan didn’t forgive him, that just saying the words was more important because this wasn’t about him, but that doesn’t stop the hurt.

  Then, so quietly Anakin almost misses it, Obi-Wan says, “I almost left the Order.”

 Sighing, Anakin drops his head back onto the mattress and glares up at the ceiling. “If Satine had asked, I know.”

  “I was going to leave after my trials.” But that was years after his time with Satine, and she hadn’t actually asked him to, had she? “I couldn’t abandon my apprenticeship, I owed Qui-Gon far too much for that, but I... I stayed for you.”

  Anakin’s throat closes like a dam, his body going rigid: he’s heard this story, that Qui-Gon had begged Obi-Wan with his dying breath to train him, that Anakin was a padawan of obligation. This story has passed the lips of every initiate and knight in the Order, whispered where they think Anakin won’t hear. Part of him has known not to expect more of his bond with Obi-Wan, but if Anakin is good at anything, it’s caring so recklessly that there’s nothing left of him by the end.

  “Obi-Wan,” he growls, but Obi-Wan doesn’t give him the chance to continue.

  “I stayed because you needed a family, whatever Qui-Gon asked me be damned,” he says firmly, with more bitterness than Anakin expected. “You were a child, Anakin, I stayed for you, and I do not regret it.”

  Oh. But that... is somehow much, much worse, Anakin decides, watching Obi-Wan’s expression crumble at the edges before he can right it again. It’s worse than thinking himself a last choice, a pet project, a karking final request, because this means... Obi-Wan actually cared, right from the beginning, and Anakin hadn’t seen it. 

  He still finds himself asking, “But Satine...?”

  “Anakin,” Obi-Wan sighs, and holds out a hand. Compelled, Anakin takes it and lets Obi-Wan curl them both in his lap. “I loved her, I will always love her, I don’t know if I will ever love anyone as I did Satine, but I would not have traded a life with her for the years I’ve had with you.”

  “Stop,” Anakin chokes out, feeling like his lungs are shrinking in his chest. “Force, you can’t just— Obi-Wan.”

  “I can’t what, padawan? Master Yoda didn’t want me to train you, despite the council’s wishes, and I would have left with you then. I was prepared to train you away from the Temple, and if you had asked us to leave any time after that, I would have.”

  “Why are you telling me this?” he finally manages, glad it’s his flesh hand in Obi-Wan’s so he can’t crush it in his grip. 

  Obi-Wan shrugs. “Because you needed to hear it.”

  “This isn’t about me. I came here to comfort you, you can’t just— How are you so calm?”

  “I’m not, my dear Ani.” He squeezes his hand in return, leaning closer. “But you seemed to misunderstand my relationship with Satine. There was a time I would have left the Order for her, there was a time I almost did, but I... would still leave for you, if you asked.” 

  “Holy kark, stop talking.”

  Stop before he says something he regrets, or thinks he can take back, or thinks Anakin can handle when he can’t.

  Obi-Wan blinks at him in surprise, and maybe Anakin is broadcasting, but he doesn't care. He hauls himself up onto the bunk right into Obi-Wan's space, pulling their joined hands against his chest to stare at him helplessly. Obi-Wan stares back as if startled by their closeness, but doesn't push him away. 

  "You can't say things like that," Anakin finally decides on. "You can't leave the Order, the council would fall apart without you, you're the perfect Jedi."

  "I can assure you I'm not."

  "But you are.”

  Obi-Wan lets out a little breath and leans the rest of the way in, setting his foreheads against Anakin’s as if they’ve always done this. “Not with you.”

  Which explains so much, and yet nothing at all.

[mandochlorian]

CHAPTER SEVEN

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

For over a decade, Y/N Y/L/N has been in a relentless battle with the sinister FIRST ORDER, never getting close enough to destroy one another. After a messy history with the boy who was once known as Ben Solo, he and Y/N had parted ways. Neither sides will rest until Skywalker, the last Jedi, has been destroyed.

A/N: um hello i just wanted to shoutout @mitsuhkai​ for being this series biggest fan & making me feel like this story is worth uploading!!! thank you for all your kind feedback that i’ve only just seen on my posts!!! :)))

TROKR masterlist

star wars masterlist

general masterlist

You’re sat by the lake next to Maz’s, trying to catch your breath and sort your thoughts out. How do you even begin to find Kylo Ren? And when you see him, who knows if he’ll give you the mercy of listening. “Searching for me?”  

Gasping, you stand, hand grabbing your lightsaber and igniting it. You face the robotic voice. It’s him. You examine him, seeing the shadows of the light bouncing off of his face, but it comes from a different direction than where the sun hangs in the sky.

 “How are you here?” You ask him, eyes wide with confusion and a sense of fear that you’ve never felt before, “I didn’t sense you arrive.” The mask he wears makes you feel as though you’re talking to a mannequin, something lifeless and still. “You’re not… here. What is this?”

“You want to run but you can’t.” Is all he responds with, ignoring your questions. He doesn’t even seem phased by the fact that the force is connecting the two of you. “It’s too late to run now.” Kylo muses, his hands coming up to his helmet. He takes it off, his brown eyes staring you down, making you feel weak.

There’s a red glimmer shining into the corner of your eye, and you turn to see the small waves on the lake illuminating a red ball of light. Kylo watches you, studying the manner in which the force connects the two of you, though he says nothing about it. Narrowing your eyes at the reflection in the water, you turn your gaze towards the sky. A line of red light tears its way through the sky and you watch as it expands into multiple beams, stopping at different moments as if it’s hit an invisible wall. eyes wide with realisation, you snap your head back to Kylo who has taken a step toward you. 

“See you soon.”

You hear a Wookie’s roar and you turn around, shocked. Han rushing up to you but he pauses when he sees the figure before you. When you turn to look at Ren, you feel he’s already looking back at you. It takes only a moment for him to fade from your view, disappearing just as quickly as he had arrived.

“The Order,” you mutter to Han, eyes cast on the ground the entire time. You kill your lightsaber but you don’t let it go, if anything your hand grips it even tighter, “They’re coming, you need to run.”

“No, no more running,” Han responds, shaking his head. He’s about to continue but a ground-shaking blast shoots through the air, you see it knock into Maz’s balcony. Stone comes tumbling down to the ground, knocking down everything in its wake. “We have to face this.”

“We don’t have to do anything!” You exclaim back, pointing a finger to your own chest, “I’m not part of your Resistance!”

Above you, the whir of three tie-fighters lights up the sky. They head straight for the palace, and you can see Maz’s statue beginning to crumble. “You know what’s right and wrong,” Han continues to try, “You’re really gonna let Maz’s home be destroyed?”

Clenching your jaw, you let out a low growl, “Fuck.” 

Without acknowledging Han’s statement, you break into a sprint, in the direction of the palace. You see Rey, looking at the deteriorating building with horror in her eyes. You can see men clad in white raiding the place and you stop beside her, Han and Chewie fighting their way into where the palace once stood. Something pulls at you, forcing you to look up into the sky. His ship. You recognise it. You try to ignore the sinking feeling in your chest when it begins to land. The only thing that breaks you from staring at Kylo’s ship and feeling his growing presence is the sound of a blaster being fired beside you.

With your wide eyes suddenly on Rey, you see a stormtrooper five feet away sink to the ground. Rey looks just as shocked as you, bringing her hand down and staring at the weapon in her hands. It was the first shot she’s ever taken. You can feel her turmoil, the fact that the trooper may be dead flooding her mind. But you hear her thoughts loud and clear and you know that when she starts shooting more troopers, she’s angrier than she’s ever been in her life.

You help, pushing a group of oncoming troopers back with such ferocity that they don’t stand up again. You both run to the deserted castle and you see Han and Chewie, shooting down as many troopers as they can and still managing to have a quick conversation in the meantime. You can’t believe your eyes when you see Finn wielding a blue lightsaber. What the fuck is going on?

“Maz, get everyone to the Falcon,” you shout to her, feeling your limbs become rigid and still, “Now! Go!” You scream at her, seeing her rushing towards her boyfriend. Han gives you a look, before ushering Finn and Rey towards the edge of the forest. 

You grip your lightsaber, using whatever energy you have to flick it on and hold it by your side. You turn your head to the side, facing the standing door that you’ve turned your back on.

“Look at you,” Kylo Ren mewls, his lightsaber steady in his hand as he stands close behind you, “Working with the enemy… I always thought you had standards, I guess I was wrong.” His voice is filled with rage and betrayal as he walks around you. He lets you go but you don’t turn to face him. He continues walking around you, examining you in a slow circle. “You and Han Solo, united once again,” Kylo mutters, the buzz of his lightsaber circling you as he walks, “Anything to bring me down, huh?” He swings quickly and you block it, taken aback at how close he stood to hurl his weapon at you.

“I’m not with the Resistance, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” you shoot back, pushing your body to slide his lightsaber down from yours. You swing it around your body, taking steps back and keeping your focus on him the entire time. 

“Don’t I?” Ren’s voice mocks you, taunting you as he twirls his lightsaber too, the speed matching yours, “You like to think we’re strangers but I still know you,” he whispers to you, leaning forward as he stares you down, “You're pathetic. So eager to please.” He stresses that word, a scowl tugging at his lips, “That’s why I’m not surprised you’re with Han Solo.” Kylo spits the name out as if its acid on his tongue. When he goes to raise his hand to your head, another rumbling comes from the sky. Both of you have your lightsabers aimed at one another but your focus is on the incoming x-wings. “Friends of yours?” Kylo spits, his lightsaber coming down against yours even harsher than before. It’s filled with more rage this time.

“Relative of yours?” You shoot back, using the force to push him back by his shoulders. Anything to stop the hateful proximity. You circle one another and you use this time to speak, as the x-wings come closer, shooting troopers down, though you both pay no mind to them.

“I didn’t want to do this.” He admits, his voice low. “But you’ve forced my hand.” You know Kylo is here for two things: for you and for the map. All you can hear are shouts, heavy footsteps, blasters being shot. All the while, you watch Kylo Ren as he runs towards you with his lightsaber high in the air. You block the attack, feeling the wind in your lungs almost completely knocked out as his saber crashes down onto yours. Red sparks fly from his blade, burning your cheeks before fizzling out. He listens as you whimper, “I warned you, I tried to warn you. I told you to join me,” Kylo breathes painfully, admiring how the red light of his saber illuminates your features, “you know what I have to do now.”

“You don’t have to do anything.” You reply to him, feeling the weight of his weapon loosen slightly against yours before strengthening again. Pushing him to the side, you escape him, only for him to strike you once again. “None of us do. We can end this, together!” You shout, blocking him again and again. You hold your hand out, stopping and freezing his attack mid-strike, “Aren’t you tired of doing what you’re told?”

“You’re too late.” He pulls his saber away, crashing it down once again and you’re barely able to keep your legs from buckling under the force of it.

“No, don’t,” you grunt, eyebrows furrowed at the effort you make to keep standing.

 Kylo pulls away but swings back down against your weapon. His eyes are filled with something close to fear when his strong attack sends you to your knees. Whimpering, you hold your lightsaber up steadily.

“You can’t hide yourself from me, Ben,” His eyes widen when you say his name, feeling his inner conflict tear him apart. It’s not like usual, you say his name with some kind of intimacy he’s never felt before, “You don’t want to do this, I know you don’t. It’s clear on your face... You can’t hide from me.”

When he raises his arm high, his feet apart, you take a moment to breathe. Turning your own lightsaber off, Kylo’s brown eyes widen. It all feels slow, though it happens so quickly. You watch him, seeing him rush to stop before his weapon can connect with your chest. When you close your eyes, you open up your mind to him. Pausing, he sees… everything. He knows you’ve seen the map, it’s the first thing that floods into his mind. But then he sees his the face of his father. Old. Grey. But the same. And he sees his mother. Kind. Caring. Aged but… beautiful. The same face that he had taken solace in as a child before the manipulation and torment had begun.

Kylo lets out a frustrated grunt, wishing with his entire being that he could kill you right here right now. He turns around, lightsaber coming to hit the wall behind him in anger. He wishes he could slice you apart and be free of this pain, to end the pull to the light like Snoke wants. But he can’t. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t do it. You rise to your feet, putting your lightsaber away. 

Kylo rips his helmet from his head, tossing it to the ground and he marches up to you, “You’re weak!” He shouts at you, his eyes fluttering at the way you’re looking at him, “You’ve always been weak. Now you’re pretending to have the family you never had, the family that turned you away because you’re worthless.”

“You’re trying to get me angry.” You note, giving him a nod.

“You belong beside me.” He ignores your statement, his voice angry and desperate, “You always have. You’re just as dark as I am.”

You shake your head at him, “It won’t work. I don’t hate you. I’ve never hated you, I’ve always hated Kylo Ren.”

His eye twitches, he raises his weapon towards you, “I am Kylo Ren.” Staring at you intensely, you begin to feel weak. Letting out a grunt, you feel him pushing you down with the force and you can’t stand any longer. You’re on your knees once again, his lightsaber at your throat. “You are weak…” he repeats, nodding to himself, “Your weakness, it seeps into me, making me weak… And once you’re dead, I’ll be free of it.”

You feel the heat sear the skin at your neck, “You won’t be free of anything… not until you’re free of him.”

“Those are your last words?”

“You know it’s true.” You continue, looking up at him. His hair frames his face, slightly covering his eyes, as you speak. You can’t help but close your eyes at the pain inside your head, “Ben, you have control in this situation, okay?” You nod, eyes opening to stare up at him, “If you want to kill me, nobody can get in your way… But just know this, if you want to go home…”

“I don’t want to come home!” He mumbles.

“But do you want to do this?” You ask him, your breath becoming heavy, “If any part of you wants to be free… really free,” you feel the defence around his mind weaken and for once his thoughts aren’t like busy highways, all you can hear is his thoughts of you right now, in this moment. Your eyes widen slightly, “I will help you.”

“Why are you doing this?” His voice sounds broken, like he’s being betrayed once again as he pulls his lightsaber away from you, “Who’s side are you on?”

“I’m not on anyone’s side.” You furrow your eyebrows, shaking your head slightly.

“So you’re in it for yourself then?” He scoffs, gripping his lightsaber tighter, walking around you slowly.

“I was,” You admit, stepping away from him each time, “I thought maybe if you were gone that I’d finally feel… like I was worth something, because that meant that I was really better than you.”

“You were going to kill me. I sensed it inside of you.” He states.

“No,” you shake your head, “They were all lies. All I ever wanted to do was bring you home. I want Ben back, it’s time for him to come home.”

“Ben Solo never did anyone any good.” Kylo spits, glaring at you, “He was weak. And he was turned away.”

“He was my friend!” You exclaim. His frantic eyes watch you, confused, angry, unsure. “Ben Solo might be the only friend I’ve ever had. You’re not alone in all of this. I couldn’t take your hand but I can take Bens. I want to take Bens.”

Kylo’s lightsaber turns off, there is only silence between you two now. “It’s too late.”

“I don’t believe that. You can stop all of this.”

“It’s too late.” He repeats, but he doesn’t attack you again. He doesn’t look at you, but he extends his hand. There’s a moment here, where you both stare at one another. You take his gloved hand, standing up and watching him closely. Kylo clenches his jaw, looking at how you still hold his hand still kneeling, “He’ll never let me leave. He’ll follow me wherever I go, no place in the galaxy is safe for me anymore.” His breath is erratic as his body racks with exhaustion. He looks down at you, “I know what I have to do. We’re both sure of our place now.” He adds, giving you a nod and for once it feels like you’re both balanced. Where did all that anger go?

You feel the need to tell him, “I trust you.”

 “It’s all an act,” he mumbles to you, giving you a slight nod, “It’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s made up, isn’t it?” And even when his hand comes up to rest your head upon the floor as he pushes you to the ground, you continue to look into his eyes. “Close your eyes.” He whispers to you, his brown eyes heavy on yours. You take a breath, doing as he says. When you hear his lightsaber ignite beside your ribs, the shock makes you open your eyes. You feel no pain, because his weapon never touched your skin. Kylo watches you, searching your mind and he knows you understand. Snoke will think you’re dead when he searches Kylo’s mind. You close your eyes again, though all you see is black, the last thing you hear is the voice of an old, old friend, “Find me.”

taglist: @mitsuhkai​ @antoniamarie1989-blog​ @haylaansmi​ @leilei-draws​ (so sorry about the mix up with the tag list @leilei-draws​ !)

[just-horrible-things]

‘Verse: Unlikely Salvation (@whump-sprite) Timeline: Ari is about 19 and in training as a federal agent

Cowritten with @khalwrites, Jo is hers

Two Shots 2/5

[1, 2, 3]

“We work undercover for the Resistance.” Ari’s heart sinks as the words come out of Jo’s mouth. She thought Jo might have a good plan. But it’s not like she has any ideas of her own. “Shut up,” she hisses, rolling with the first half-formed thought she has of how to back Jo up. “Do you want to live or not?” Jo snaps back at her. Quicker off the mark than Ari as always. “What choice do we have?” Ariadne glowers at her. Pain pools in her eyes as she deepens her frown. “Yeah right,” scoffs the warlock with the gun -- what kind of weakass warlock needs a gun?

But the other one is listening.

“We work with the Resistance,” Jo keeps talking, “planning a jailbreak of some of the warlocks there.” “Shut up, Jo,” Ari repeats. Where is Jo getting these ideas? All Ari can do is try to stick to the part she’s picked and hope it isn’t a stupid one. “They’re coming soon, we need to be there to meet them or the plan goes to hell." The guy holds Jo's gaze for a few seconds, then shakes his head with a bitter laugh. "The 'Resistance'," he mocks, "are a bunch of weak-willed cowards. They'd never dare send someone 'undercover', let alone a coupla kids."

Jo looks to Ari for help, and Ari has nothing. "I told you to shut up," she stalls, letting her frustration into her tone. Not the best plan you've ever had, Jo. "Who even are these assholes?" "You're just trying to save your skin. If you're really Resistance, show us some magic." "Do not," Ari cuts in, still pretending she doesn't want Jo to give up their 'secret', "Don't you fucking--" But Jo is talking too, protesting "Not everyone in the Resistance has magic." And that's two different stories, and Ari's sure they're fucking this up, but she doesn't know what she could possibly say to fix it. Her head is killing her, pain spiking with every sound and every motion. She huffs in frustration and lets her gaze drop.

"The Resistance won’t be pleased if you hurt us,” Jo tries, calm and unfazed still, not a drop of fear or anger in her voice. The warlocks scoff. Jo has so much bravado. Ari’s heart aches. Jo is strong, she can be too. “You don’t lose anything if you let us go,” she tells them sullenly. Gun-man laughs again. “We lose plenty if we let a couple baby feds go. You’re a message to them. They better start watching their backs.”

Jo looks at Ari as if to ask Now what? and there’s something almost helpless in her eyes. Ariadne’s temper flares. “Yeah,” she snaps, “real impressive, you grabbed a pair of untrained teenagers. Great message, real scary.” “Why you little--” Crack -- the sound of air tearing -- and Ari screeches as unexpected force hits her like a shot in the gut. She thinks she has been shot for a moment, but her whole body goes rigid with it like the worst cramp she’s ever had. As it fades, she realises the warlock used his fucking magic on her. “-- you fucking asshole --” she spits “-- you wouldn’t be so--” Another shock slams into her, and Ariadne yells again. She clamps down on the sound faster this time. Those fuckfaces don’t get to hear her scream.

She only barely gets a breath in before his hands are on her shoulders, and his power is ripping through her in waves of agony again.

There’s no getting used to it. It’s the most pain Ari has ever felt by a million miles and it won’t stop -- but fury is as loud in her splitting skull as the panic. She grits her teeth and holds her breath and her body convulses with the magic but she doesn’t scream, she doesn’t, she doesn’t -- she doesn’t --

She does.

The sound just spills out of her, and she has no more control over her throat than any of her other muscles. She chokes, and she yells, and she screams.

There are brief pauses so that she can gasp for air, but not long enough for her to curse the motherfucker out. His hands are on her shoulders, and Ari’s head knocks against his arms as she tosses it side to side. His arm is right there -- her teeth find flesh, and she bites down with the force of a panicking animal.

She doesn’t get to appreciate his reaction. She hears him yell, and then all she gets to experience is the fresh wave of agony that surges from his hands.

It goes until her vision is black and she thinks she is dying. She gets a single breath, and it happens again. And again. And again. And again.

Ari screams and screams and writhes and panics and there is nothing nothing nothing she can do.

[Next]

[polar-stars]

facts about eizan,marui nakiri and ibusaki family pls

Thanks for asking....It was a bit difficult for me to answer but I tried my best (also sorry, I changed the order....I memorised it differently for some reason ovo;;)

The Eizans:

- The Four Horsemen of Apocalypse + Nene //slaps herself

- (I already feel that this will be a challenge to explain...I’ll try my very best to convey what I want to say but uhm, apology in advance if the following just sounds like a scrambled mess) The Eizan-Family has much of a reputation within the culinary world and, well, let’s just say it could be a more positive one. While adulthood, his marriage to Nene and becoming father did make Etsuya less extreme he’s still not exactly a saint. While he did take a step back from dirty tactics and straight up cheating in his business strategies, he’s still ruthless and, you could possibly even say, brutal in his ways using his intellect and understanding of the market to defeat his opponents fairly. Combined with the stigma the Eizan-name had before he even married Nene, Etsuya is regarded as someone that you should think twice about messing with by most. Meanwhile Nene might not be known for destroying people’s businesses, but she still has this frosty, rigid aura that a lot of people consider to be intimidating. She’s known as excellent, and intellectual, chef and her opinion is hold in high regard by a lot of people. Lastly it’s also evident that her three sons massively respect her and that she’s also capable of making her husband shut up with just a simple displeased “Etsuya”. The Eizan-men are not exactly known for hearing out other people much so the fact that this woman is capable of, for the lack of a better word, “tame” these four with just the use of a scowl at times is very respectable and in its own right fearsome to a bunch of people. As a couple, Etsuya and Nene generally make much of a formal and stiff impression in public. They don’t really emit friendly-social-butterfly-energy in my humble opinion and their standoffish, unreadable, strict expressions makes even some of the best conversationalists gulp when approaching them. Then there’s also their sons. While Kei, being the youngest, is not much on people’s radars at this point and is mainly just commonly regarded as “the youngest”, “the third one” etc. Masashi and Shigeo are personalities that a large part of the cooking Elite is pretty aware of. The two stand high in Totsuki’s social hierarchy and are feared by a large part of the students. ALL IN ALL, this is a long way of me saying that the name “Eizan” does send shivers down a few people’s spines and they are considered as very intimidating by many. (God, time to catch my breath)

- Nene might be regarded as the cold ice queen from outside but in private she kinda is the one that holds the family together. While she does have the last say in this household and while she can most definitely be pretty strict, she does still deeply care about the family the most openly and often makes attempts to get them all to spend time together. While not as extreme as other mothers, she can be pretty rather doting towards her sons in her own way. Nene was raised in a clan with long tradition and history after all and while I don’t think she had the most personal relationship with her parents at all, I still think that a clan like that would teach her that family is everything which is why she values it a lot. Also I think, she actually saw them very, very frequently. It’s a contrast to Etsuya, who I believe was raised by two very distant people who were rarely around and when they were they really beat the idea in his head that money is above everything. (This upbringing is what made it hard to him picturing himself as dad when Nene first pitched the idea to him. He does try his best though)

- Etsuya’s aunt just lives a couple blocks away from where the Eizans live. Therefore the Eizan brothers could get there on their own at a certain age. Etsuya’s aunt often watched the kids, if she wasn’t out travelling which she would do a lot in her old age.

- Sometimes Nene and Etsuya were forced to take their children with them to work when Etsuya’s aunt was out of town once again and they couldn’t find a babysitter. Masashi always went with Nene, while Shigeo went with Etsuya. With Kei, they alternated. Nene’s service staff actually really likes Masashi as he’s very respectful and polite with them since they’re adults. They always shower him with praise when he practices his cooking. Meanwhile Shigeo is commonly regarded as brat by Etsuya’s employees but of course no one would say that out loud. Sometimes Etsuya would order one of his workers to look after Shigeo and entertain him for a bit. This task is feared because Shigeo is hell to babysit. He does what he wants and thanks to his cleverness he often manages to run off, so he can wander around the company and do his own thing. This makes the employee tasked to look after him look pretty bad in the eyes of the Boss.

- Etsuya is the one who spoils everyone. He does really want his family to be treated to the finest things in life and he makes sure of that. Nene is more practical in her spendings and not as quick to buy something for her sons as Etsuya is.

The Nakiris (This will be centered around RyoAli-Family since in my, uhm, ✨universe✨ they’re the ones that mainly go by Nakiri. I hope they are what you meant, anon)

- The apex of Japan’s culinary landscape and widely recognised in every other place of the world as well. The Nakiris are heavily respected and cherished within the industry, as they’ve always been. Their opinion is hold in very high regard. The strive to impress Nakiri Alice, the headmistress of Totsuki, specifically inspires a lot of Avantgarde dishes to be created. There’s no denying that the Nakiris are practically equal to royalty within the culinary world.

- Alice is the heart of the family. While her side of the family had always been more chill and wholesome, she still saw (and was pulled into) the drama that the rest of her family loved to cause. She does not want any of that no more now that she’s the head honcho of the Nakiri clan. Alice really puts effort into keeping the family together even if her pride keeps her from admitting this out loud.

- Alice’s and Ryo’s love to measure each other in cook-offs has gone down to their two twin-children as well, who love to face-off against each other, their Yukihira-cousins and even their parents. The competition between family-members is to both Nakiri-twins a friendly one. Even the extremely battle-heartened Lola feels so.

- The Nakiris are the hosts of an annual summer ball that takes place in their mansion at a set date each and every year. Describing said ball as an important, fancy event would be an understatement. It’s a truly grandiose and massive festive with a lot of elegance to it. Wether you’re invited to it or not can definitely be used as a factor to determine how high you stand in the culinary industry. Alice really has fun planning it each and every year. Ryo helps her out whenever he can while also Leonora gives a lot of suggestions over a video call.

- Ryo, Alice, Lola and Mona as family are honestly pretty wholesome. They don’t have a lot of fights, stick together and while Alice and Ryo are damn busy they still never fail to reserve some of their time for their family.

The Ibusakis

- The Ibusakis are pretty peaceful and, except for Kasumi Ibusaki as time goes on, they don’t get into trouble too easy.

- They live very close to a forest and since the two Ibusakis partly grew up in said forest both of them developed a very strong affinity for nature. Yasu in particular does not desire a life in the big city at all. It’s too loud, too crowded and also too polluted for him there.

- Ryoko is the one that needs breaks from their idyllic, quiet life the most. This leads to her occasionally hosting a few get-togethers. They’re not the most fancy thing out there but since it’s Ryoko doing the planning they still do have style but also a warm, light-hearted atmosphere. And of course, sake. People love to attend these and social butterfly Ryoko never runs out of people to invite. Shun meanwhile is not a very big fan of his house being invaded, but given how much fun his wife has he grits his teeth together and pull through the night. His daughter Kasumi is in strong agreement with him.

- Ryoko and Shun have a bit of a differing opinions on where to vacation as well. Ryoko mainly enjoys city-trips and all of its sightseeing and the exploration of a different culture. Meanwhile Shun just wants mountains. Nothing but mountains. The two were never prone to argue much though and are good at making compromises. So Ryoko and Shun alternate each year of who gets to choose the travel spot. So one summer it’s Barcelona for the Ibusakis and the next one’s its a hiking trip once again.

- One source of drama in the usually so peaceful Ibusaki-Family is Shun’s father. He does not have the best relationship to him as he felt that he was never really there for him. Shun’s dad in his old age does realise though how distant he had been all this time to his son. So he wants to try to be a good grandfather to his grandchildren at least. However there is the fact that Shun has not fully forgiven him yet.

The Maruis

- In comparison to the Ibusakis, the Maruis are more lively. There’s a lot more bickering going on in this household and people also often point out that the Maruis have an insanely quick pace to their conversation.

- Yuki enjoys throwing some parties (or going to some) even more than Ryoko. She’ll host a party in the Marui’s apartment every two months or so. But even more she attends parties of others and since she lives in Tokyo and has quite a large number of contacts she barely ever runs out of them. Sometimes she drags Zenji with her and lets one of her brothers watch the kids or, if it’s on weekend night and the host said there’s other children on the party as well, takes them with her as well.

- Yuki has a pretty good relationship with the rest of the Maruis as all of them adore her sunny, jolly personality while also appreciating how visibly happy she makes Zenji. Zenji also gets along fine with the Yoshinos (even if they can be a little exhausting at times). And this ultimately allows the two Marui-siblings to grow pretty close to both sides of the family.

- Yuki plans most of the family activities. She is not a big fan of spending the weekend merely at home. Here and there, Zenji wants to go somewhere though. And usually it’s just this or that new exhibition in this or that museum. Chieko prefers Zenji’s ideas for the most part, while Takahiro LARGELY prefers Yuki’s. He does not like most museums because you have to be all quiet.

- Ever since Yuki knew she’d get a daughter, she had been excited for the day where her daughter would start engaging into romance. Yuki has always been super excited about the idea of Chieko getting a boyfriend someday. She watched A TON of romance movies with Chieko in preparation basically and once Chieko’s on Totsuki she also keeps asking wether there’s any good-looking boys close. What she would have never expected is Etsuya Eizan’s and Nene Kinokuni’s second son to become Chieko’s major suitor and she does not know in the slightest how she should feel about this. Zenji meanwhile has never been the largest fan of his baby-girl getting a boyfriend to begin with and he knows very well how he feels about Shigeo Eizan: Dangerzone. Most of Chieko’s circle (her own family, but also the Ibusakis and also her friend-group) views the ShigeChi-situation as a Red Riding Hood/Big Bad Wolf kind of thing in one way or the other and a lot of them make it no secret. Once Junpei Miyazato appears on the scene both Yuki and Zenji actually make an effort to practically “market” him to Chieko as they’d both, at this point at least, prefer to see their little baby with him. Little Takahiro though meanwhile sees that there’s no guy that has quite the same effect on Chieko as Shigeo has.