#and so we didn't get as many pure character moments as we could have

[meraki-sunset]

This is a long letter of gratitude. Embrace my endless words of pure gratefulness.

Dear Autor of the most amazing thing I've ever read.

I was writing this letter from the moment I reached the middle of your Crow Strider AU fanfiction. There is so many things I want to say and I'm so happy that I can say it to you all here without words limit. Forgive me for exuberance, I'm squeezing out all my abilities to express what I feel in this foreign language that's not of us first language.

Let me list all the things I'm grateful for, because I'm autistic and I love listing:

1. Crow Strider

The arc of Davesprite you created is masterpiece of writing. The process of deconstructing his personality, forgiving and letting his part behind as well as embracing his new identity and new body is written so thoughtfully with such a care of details. I love how you made him so different from Dave as well as still kept his Daveness in full glory of Striderness. You made him happy and more emotional available and open, at the same time it felt so natural for him to be that way because of the proper build up you gave him. Thank you so much for creating Crow Strider and letting us read his well written arc.

2. There's a Dave for everyone

THERE'S LITERALLY DAVE FOR EVERYONE. You have no idea what struggles I went through trying to understand what person Dave ended up with in canon, and then being sad of what happened in epilogues. I wanted Dave for Karkat. I wanted Dave for Jade. I wanted them to be happy. And you did it. You made it possible. You made them all happy. I love it so much. Thank you so much for making them happy. You even gave Teresi one Dave for her. I can't believe it. It's so beautiful it's unreal.

3. More Davepeta

This part is simple, I simply love Davepeta and you gave me a lot of good Davepeta content. Thank you for that.

4. You made me like characters I didn't like

I wasn't big fan of Tavros. I got tired of Vrisca by the end of Homestuck. I didn't really see Hal as an interesting character. I honestly hated Gamzee. And Jasprosesprite squared was so annoying for me

Well, not anymore! You somehow managed to write these characters more compelling for me than Hussie did. Now I love Tavros and Hal, I mean, cat Hal? Is there anything more cute and cool at the same time?

And NGL I genuinely wanted Gamzee to die and I can't believe that now I'm not, because I just read a very good redemption arc of this clown. I also love the way you dealt with Vrisca. Heck I love all characters written by you!

5. God tier Karkat

I've dreamt of seeing a good piece of god tier Karkat. I was so curious how does it even work to be Knight of Blood, we didn't see any version of Blood god tier in canon. I'm big fan of your version, it fits the character and the aspect so well, and the execution of his arc as he is chosen to open the door... Honestly? I prefer that over canon, though it wouldnt make as much sense as in your fanfiction. It just feels like you took a much better care of Karkat than official ending of Homestuck. Don't get me wrong, I love Homestuck an it's ending, your fanfiction wouldn't exist without it. I honestly think that Hussie didn't really have as much time and space to give his characters as extended arcs as you gave them without losing the dynamic of his story. But you could. And you did. Thank you so much.

6. So many people got better, more extended arcs

Like above. You made Jas much better. You gave Nanna much better, more compelling arc than she had in canon. You made Hal and Tavros much more relatable and gave them very well character development plot, even if short. You took your time to write very needed and wanted dialogues between characters than didn't have their time to interact in canon. Like Jake and Dirk (ESPECIALLY THEM OMG). Like Erisol and Feferi. Like Jas and Rose. And I didn't even know that I needed the last one. Thank you so much.

7. You made ships that I didn't know where even possible and I like them????

Seriously, Tavros and Jane?? Erisol and Arquius??? Josh and Dirk??? I love how your brain works

8. You absolutely nailed the delicate topic of transgender

I used to not be a big fan of June, because there were no realistic signs of John having any kind of thoughts or doubts about his gender in canon. You made a very much needed and really great thoughtfully written arc from June and Josh, even caring about the topic of transition and executing it really great. Thank you so much for yet again being so good at writing arcs.

9. Eridan and Sollux

I love them both and their weird toxic rivalty, and I absolutely love that you gave them some attention and let Eridan grow and try to redeem himself while also helping Sollux with hii2 p2iioniic problem2. I download almost every single frame of it.

10. YOUR ARTSTYLE

You're artstyle. I don't know where to begin with that. It's so amazing. Expressive, dynamic, cute, beautiful, colorful. I love every line of your comics. Your style is the way I always wanted to draw. It's just perfect. And also perfect for Homestuck fanfiction. It's just so similar, yet gives it a bit of softness as well as the kind of expressiveness I love, that makes every single shot more appealing. Warm scene are so warm, sad scene are so sad, dynamic scenes are so epic, it's like so delicious. Yes, I just ran out of words. Let me grab a dictionary...

Your style is outstanding. It gives me this feeling of familiarity, it's similar of Homestuck style, yet so different, its fresh and new while also feels like home.

I wish you have a printed version of your fanfiction (but I probably can't afford it sadly). There is something so soothing in this simple colors, it's not too loud, not too many colors, yet so many and smooth colorful lines. I will learn to draw like you, I'm sorry for adapting your style, but I really want to draw like that and you even posted some tutorials how to draw like you.

Thank you so so much that you put so much time and effort into making this wonderful comic and then share with all of us completely for free. You drew so many expressive pages, sometimes even 10 pages per static dialogue, which means you officially outbested the master of overdoing Andrew Hussie himself, that did maximum of 3 pages per 1 static dialogue scene. I noticed you slowed down a bit at the end and drew much more simplified panels as well as you started using same panels many times. Good. It's okay to go the easier way. No one wants you to overwork yourself and burnout. No one wants you to have trauma with drawing and not wanting to draw comic ever again. It's extremely generous of you that you posted for absolutely free such a wonderful and huge piece of art. I'm endlessly grateful.

11. The plot

I love how you started from one simple idea of giving Crow more arc, and then gradually extended it into a whole huge fixfiction. It went so smoothly it looked like really one different decision of one person can change the whole timeline. It went so naturally, it felt so realistic as if I read something that Andrew Hussie wrote as a coexisting canon.

I have to admit, the whole idea of not doomed and not canon timeline is pretty ridiculous, and I love every bit of it. Paradoxally, it sounds so much like something that could actually exist in Homestuck canon. I love it

A few little things I didn't like that much

I wouldnt be myself if I didn't comment on some stuff that wasn't perfect. I'll be bery brief with that, because these things didn't really bothered me that much, I just want to share a little bit of criticism I have.

I hope it won't sound rude when I say that I didn't really felt like you understand the character of Nepeta very well? She didn't felt that like Nepeta in your fanfiction, at least for me. I felt like some stuff were explained a bit too many times. I know that characters needed that, yet we as viewers already know some stuff and didn't need to read it again. Also, I really missed the type styles of characters. I know how hard it is to keep it through entire fanfiction, especially writing some of the characters with quite complicated type style. I just missed it a bit. On the other hand it made a few characters much more comprehensive.

I hope I didn't hurt you with this few words of critics. Now I want to share a few of my favorite pages, I hope you don't mind if I end this letter with fangirling over your drawings. I actually wanted to do a lot of comments during reading your fanfiction, but the website didn't let comments. Sadly. That's why I'm writing here. And now is time I will do what I wanted to do back then:

This scene, my fav scene in Homestuck, got so extended in your fanfiction, I felt so gifted and it wasn't even my birthday

I cried.

This. Made me laugh so hard. And it's even funnier without context.

I just reached photos limit. Sadly. I'm so grateful for your comic. I love it so much. Thank you again for making it. You're a wonderful person

Hey there! Thank you so much for the letter, and for taking your time translating it to English for me to understand. Since it’s in a list format, I guess I’ll answer as list as well! So:

Crow strider

It was challenging writing Crow because I needed to basically write Dave but with a twist in his personality due to living with the Harley-Egberts and their grandma, in a very cozy and caring environment.

Honestly I don’t think I managed to portray enough Daveness, his personality is very particular and difficult for me to replicate, but I did the best I could and my friend and editor will help me reach the right amount of striderness in the epilogue

2. A Dave for everyone

Indeed, there’s Dave for everyone. The homestuck epilogues made me realize how lonely Jade ended up, and I always loved Davesprite and jade, but with one being human and the other one a Sprite the relationship was bound to fail, and even tho I wasn’t fond of JadexDavepeta, still i would’ve prefered it to jade being all alone and Davepeta dying fighting Lord English. So now, not only Jade has Crow, and they’re happy, but the Karezi – davekat – daverezi mess all got fused into one, because I love them and their trip was a Little different from in canon. And also Davepeta is around, I don’t think they’ll end up with anyone, but they’ll vibe on EarthC.

3. More Davepeta

They’re alive, and I like showing the craziness that comes from them knowing all timelines but being above them and detached from them. 

4. The characters you didn’t use like

I like exploding underused characters. Because with them, you’ve only seen the Surface, but at the same time you have info about them that can be used to make them more profound. If Tavros got revived, why isn’t he mad at Vriska? What was he doing those 3 years in the bubbles? If Jasprose is a seer and has knowledge of all timelines due to being ultimate self, doesn’t that make her the ultimate clairvoyant? Doesn’t that mean she’s the key to winning? Does she miss the mother like rose does? If there’a already an Arquius, why make another? Why not have just Hal as a Sprite and have him figure out what being alive is actually like?. You get the Surface of the characters and knowing what you know about them, you dig deeper, until you find their humanity and write about it.

5. Godtier Karkat

I love Karkat on Homestuck, but I feel like the character lost weight towards the end of the story, he stopped being the leader and while everyone went and fought someone important like the Condesce, the jacks, the dogjack, or Lord English, he was just somewhere else doing whatever. I wanted to give him his hero moment that closes his development.

As for the door, I feel like in canon john was the right choice to open the door, he’s the hero and the leader, not to mention it’s a human session, it makes total sense and I wouldn’t change it

Every story has things that don’t get to be explored, because that would make them too long and cut the flow, making it unreadable. That why we love fan fictions and AUs so much, they take the pieces and reassemble them into something new, filling the empty spaces.

What makes the events on AUs fun is that they didn’t happen in canon. So if John opened the door in canon, and it was right, then Karkat can open this one, and it can be right on this specific timeline. He gets closure from the door he never got to open, and takes back his role as a leader, even if it’s just for a moment, since the battle is over by now. He’s the leader once again, but this time he understands the weight of it in a way he couldn’t grasp when he was 13, claimed he was in charge and let everyone down. He now understands it’s not just something you ask for, it’s something you earn, he’s now the Knight of blood, god of bonds, he took down the Condesce in the name of his species, and will open the door for his peers to enter the new universe they created together where they’ll create a free society, he became what the signless predicted, his rightful successor. His arc is completed.

6. Extended arcs

Jas was planned since the beginning to close crow’s arc about his rose and his regrets about leaving her behind. It’s only when he’s made peace with losing her, has left his old self behind and is ready to face the battle and his future, that he gets his reward. He gets her back, in the strangest way

With Nanna, i just though nobody ever focused that there was an actual adult around during the whole adventure, Nanna would’ve spent a lot of time around john and jade, them being each others remaining family. So I tried to give her the role of a guardian, breaking a Little with this “orphaned children on their own” that all characters have.

Honestly I tried to make it as interesting as I could, sometimes I would take characters that didn’t have any screen time and think, what can they do? What’s in their mind at this moment that they could tackle in conversation? And with whom? Who else needs screen time?. And that’s how you get, Jake and Tavros bonding, Nepeta, Fefeta, Davepeta and Feferi ship-chat, Arquius telling Terezi and Karkat about Erisol, Hal comforting Eridan, ect.

It’s actually a really cool writing exercise I do sometimes. I grab two characters that have nothing in common, and write a conversation between them. What’s the common ground? Are their stories alike in some way? Do they have a common hobby or worry? It’s really cool because you find stuff about the characters you never paid attention to before

7. Unlikely ships

Tavros and Jane came from me wanting Tavros to be more assertive. In canon Vriska instructed him to not interact with the Alpha kids during those 6 months, but since this Tavros doesn’t listen to her because he took self-esteem lessons from Rufioh, I felt like he probably spent that time actually being a guide to Jane and then becoming Friends while solving puzzles, Jane being a fan of mysteries and Tavros probably missing his flarp days. Also theres a funny thing about Tavros and Jane, and it’s Tavros is supposed to represent Peter pan, while Vriska is supposed to represent both Tinkerbell (she dressed up like a fairy for him and later became an actual fairy) being attracted to him but being short fused when rejected, and also represent Captain Hook, Peter pan’s enemy (with her flarp persona and her ancestor being a pirate), but she’s not Wendy in any way, and I feel like Jane is, she’s the homeschooled girl, with blue eyes who looked through her window waiting to be free because her father wouldn’t let her out (also Wendy’s brother was named john who used big glasses). She’s a normal girl coming in contact with this fairy boy from a world of only children. Idk, makes sense to me. (besides, Wendy darling’s daughter, who Peter pan later takes on adventures too was named Jane, who also has blue eyes)

Erisol and Arquius was a crack ship that suddenly made sense, because it’s one-sided, and I feel like arquius is a caring person, he just has a difficult time socializing like a normal person. He’s just really happy to be a sprite and is pissed by Erisol’s insistence on wanting to explode.

Also, Arquius promising Fefeta that he wouldn’t break Erisol’s neck unless he had a good reason ( he kinda wanted to) and eventually having to break his neck for the good reason of god tiering him (he now doesn't want to and feels bad about it) was something I planned for months

Josh and dirk, i think it’s funny. Dirk wouldn’t have dated jade because she’s a girl, but Josh is a boy so it’s good, AND, he’s like a more direct, version of Jake who takes no bullshit.

8. The topic of transgender

Originally the second spaceship post retcon was supposed to arrive empty, or with only Davesprite, but I saw an opportunity to solve a division in the audience. Some people were interested in John remaining as he was, while others wanted to see June. Since John never showed any doubts about his gender in canon, it wasn’t in my original plans for June to make an appearance during CSAU, because the comic only covered the same period of time as canon. But when it came time to write the retcon I realized I had an opportunity to make them both coexist, making a shift in the timeline, but said shift being there both since the beginning and for the purpose of surviving the recon. Making June and Josh a reality since the beginning, so the timeline would survive the consequences of the two Egberts crossing paths post retcon.

It’s nice to hear you liked it, I know not everyone did. I tried to be respectful but at the same time be true to the nonsensical nature of canon Homestuck that makes timelines twist and change to the story’s convenience, making the events real but chaotic. Also since i knew John’s dad wasn’t coming back and Jane’s dad wouldn’t make it, June would be the last remaining conection to John’s old home and so John would be June's, relying on eachother for comfort when it comes to the loss of their father and home.

9. Eridan and Sollux

I want to cover Eridan’s redemption in the epilogue, since all we know is he grew as a person during his time in the bubbles, leading to his change of heart interacting with Sollux and Kanaya

10. Art style

Thank you! I like to give the characters a full range of emotions and for the surroundings to accompany that

No need to be sorry for learning through my art, in the end my style, like everyone else’s, is bits and pieces from other artists we’ve seen, admired and/or learned from. Just make sure to add your personal touch to make your artstyle trully yours

It’s true that by the end I reused more static panels for dialogue, both because there was a lot for the characters to say, not that much action left, and my battery was running low haha

11. The plot

I tried my best for the story to be a big butterfly effect steaming from crow’s decision to ascend, working towards the most possible outcomes like Crow getting grimdarked by the Condesce too, the sprites surviving because of Nanna and so on

I wanted this timeline to coexist with canon because I don’t like the idea of overwriting it, canon happened and was important, CSAU just happened to be taking place close by

12. Things you didn’t like

I do in fact not understand the character of Nepeta very well, I reread Homestuck in order to get the original troll's personality better, but Nepeta is a character I don’t get. On top of that, she doesn’t appear much in CSAU so didn’t have much time to develop her.

I do struggle with over explaining, I think is stems from not wanting the reader to be confused (it has happened on discord that people come and ask me what was going on in the story when i thought I had written it in a way people could understand with no problems), which leads to me explaining everything too bluntly sometimes, so the characters sometimes ramble TOO much, and I wish I could go back and reduce the dialogs, but that would involve going back to the page’s codes to delete certain pages and replace others, and also changing the programming for the page’s backgrounds, not to mention my computer crashes when I try to modify pages too far back, since they’re 4000 of them. It’s one of those things I can only learn from and try to do better in the next project

The character’s typing was a core part of Homestuck because it was mostly portrayed as blocks of texts and the quirks made it easy to know who was talking even with people having the same typing color. The reason I didn’t use them it’s simply because I could barely write good enough in English, let alone add quirks. My friend offered me to add the quirks at some point when we were revising the dialogs, but I declined because some people found it easier to read without them and I didn’t want to add another step to the render of the pages.

13. Favorite pages

I also cried with that Gamzee panel, I planned it for months and i waited a long time to draw those last panels, I’m glad they made people laugh

Haha, also yeah, the Strider reunion got really extended with so many extra striders. Davepeta, Crow and Hal making the reunion complete

Thank you for this message! i'll do my best to write a good epilogue (which by now is actually a secuel) and i hope you have a great day🌻🌻🌻

[miraculousagentsofkrypton]

Gotta be honest, one part of my love for Seyloy(?) is that I am also a huge fan of Aloy's dynamic with Alva, and this is the second best thing. Alva and Seyka are fairly different people, but rebellious and intelligent Quen women just fit the girl's type. Seyka is a like a mix of Alva and Talanah, and I am totally ok with that.

[queerly-autistic]

One of my favourite things about S2 was that we got to see so much in terms of Ed's relationships with women, and it just made me love him even more (if that's humanly possible). We didn't see him interact with many women at all in S1 (I think it was only the posh ladies at the fancy party which was...yeah, not a good experience), so S2 actually giving us a glimpse into his friendships with all these (very different) kickass women was so, so special.

I love that, as messy and fucked up as they all are, and even with the 'well we're pirates, we're not normal and we will fuck with each other' threat that hangs over everything, Ed's relationship with Mary and Anne is still so affectionate, and they both thrown their arms around him the moment they see him. Even though Ed is incredibly tactile, I don't think we've actually ever seen him be hugged like this, and it's just so lovely to watch him be embraced and clearly feel very safe being embraced by these women (and I can't with the way he clings to them, as well). I also love that this is a wlw/mlm friendship; yeah it falls apart later and turns into delicious gay-on-gay violence (and I wouldn't alter a note of it), but I love seeing this sort of affection between queer women and queer men, there's not nearly enough of it.

Don't even get me started on the BFF handshake he has with Anne - I want all the history there, give me six spin-off films about their adventures please.

And then we finally get a glimpse of his relationship with Jackie, which is similarly just lovely, but in a different way? You get the sense that they could sit there for hours, talking shit about the world, all whilst casually ripping the shit out of each other (but affectionately). You also know full well these two have talked extensively about men and know pretty much everything about each other's sex lives - we didn't see it, but I'm absolutely certain that Ed went into full gushing details about sleeping with Stede, just like Jackie did when she talked about The Swede fucking like a jackhammer (historical accuracy ftw).

And, again, whilst they're still pirates, and it's messy, the entire thing feels incredibly...safe, particularly from Ed's perspective? He feels more comfortable around Jackie than he is around most other characters (apart from Stede), just like he was with Anne and Mary.

And then, just to hammer the point home even further that Ed has, generally, fantastic relationships with women, and connects with them, and feels relaxed and safe with them, you have Ed and Zheng becoming instant BFFs literally minutes after meeting each other. Ed goes 'ooh, very cool woman kicking ass and killing people, she shall be my best friend, immediately', and Zheng is automatically incredibly relaxed and open with him, too (suggesting she feels as safe and comfortable with him as he does with her).

All I want in life is to see Ed and Zheng get silly-drunk with each other (and this is why we urgently need a S3).

And none of Ed's relationships with these women are a fetishistic 'I love women because they're fabulous' thing, or an overly patronising paternalistic 'I love the women and I must protect them' thing - all the relationships he has with women are very equal, very comfortable, fully believable, just fantastic friendships to watch play out. I feel like, given everything we see on screen, Ed generally feels a lot more comfortable and safe and open with the women he knows than the men he knows (Stede is the only other person he is this physically affectionate and comfortable with). Which is probably very understandable? Yes, the women he's friends with are all violent pirates too (that's part of the joy of it - none of them are lovely demure morally pure women, they're all violent pirates), but Ed has a lot of experience with specifically overtly abusive men - right back to watching his dad abuse his mum. And that's a distinction that matters: the show treats the violence of normal piracy and the violence of abuse very, very differently. Ed is not used to being treated softly or affectionately by men, as we saw in his shocked reaction to Stede holding his hand. I don't think it's any wonder that he gravitates more towards friendships with women (or that the men he feels the most open and safe with, such as Stede, Fang, even Frenchie, are very pointedly the opposite of the abusive men he has experience with). I just love love love that being friends with women is such a core part of Ed's character, and that we got to see all of these fantastic relationships in the show.

[tocomplainfriend]

HAZBIN AND SA (+HB)

TW: SA and RAPE

THIS ITSELF DOESN'T TALK ABOUT THE SCENE! But the surrounding context.

So I really hate everything about how this has being treated. I am a SA victim and wanna talk about some stuff. If you didn't know, in episode 4 (I think) there is an exploration of Angel Dust SA, before going to do that lets see some stuff first:

She made a "cumming" joke about the song Poison (that accompanies the SA scenes)

This person over here worked on HH/HB (draws r-pe/non-con)

BLURRED AND CUTTED IMAGES: (Some are more or less explicit)

You know, that whole thing of shipping, and drawing porn of the canonical sexual abuser with the victim?

They also left this comment, under a comic where Val threatens brutal r-pe on Angel.

This person also worked in/directed the scenes of Angel dust Sexual abuse in the episode. The person that ships a r-pe ship and does all this shit is the one to work in this scene?????

ALSO????

Like??????? What happen here?

Also...

(The pinkie pfp person is 15 here too)

Why does Angel sexually harrases Husk non-stop (which is acknowledged by Vaggie)? Why is Moxxie SA by the succubus played for laughs? Same with Chaz or Blitz harassing him sexually or touching him without consent? Why did Stolas do so many unwanted advances towards Blitz, and that's literally the endgame couple of the show? (All of this are jokes, or by the Husk x Angel shit "ship moments"

WHY THIS TOO?

And yes you are "correct", something like Hypersexuality Trauma-should not being shamed. You are not a bad person, for dealing with this. BUT HEY, that doesn't mean you get to sexually harass people like Angel does to Husk or anyone.

Also, the problem is not having an SA victim's story. The problem is how it is treated and all the context that surrounds it. All of this above is that context! Why is so much SA jokes in Helluva? Why is that funny? You want to tell a story of SA, and anyone calling out the problems with it is deleting victims feelings and stories... YOU AND YOUR STUPID FUCKING JOKES DO THAT ALREADY. WHEN SA IS A JOKE FOR YOU, YOU ARE DIMINISHING SA AND R-PE.

There are also a lot of random fans saying that "Viv is an SA victim too"- #1 Where the fuck did she say that, cause you randomly saying that she said it doesn't mean shit. #2 DOESN'T DELETE THE WAY SA HAS BEING TREATED! THIS IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO MAKING A JOKE AS AN SA VICTIM ABOUT YOURSELF- SHE/AND OTHER IN THE TEAM ARE WRITING CHARACTERS GETTING SEXUALLY ASSAULTED AS THE JOKE. -OR NOT UNDERSTAND LEGIT POWER DYNAMICS AND THE GROSS THING THAT STOLAS DOES TO BLITZ. OR THE LITERAL "SHIP COMPILATION" THAT IS PURELY ANGEL SEXUALLY HARASSING HUSK.

"Is important to represent SA survivors stories- specially men who-" BROTHER ALL YOUR OTHER MALE CHARACTERS SEXUALLY HARRASS/ASSAULT OTHERS AS A JOKEEEE. "They are in hell" BITCH A HUMAN, A REAL PERSON WORKING ON THE SHOW WROTE hahaha Moxxie gets violated by the succubus so funny lol. IT'S NOT "LOONA IS A BAD PERSON FROM HELL THAT'S WHY SHE MADE FAT JOKES AT MOXXIE" NO IT'S WRITTEN AS IF THE SA WAS FUNNY IN ITSELF!

This is also not a scenario where there was a realization of the problems in HB with all those jokes and the harassment, so it was trying to be fixed with a serious story in hazbin. NO, THAT'S NOT IT!!!!

If there was an apology of how the sexual assault was treated in previous works! "We'll make up for it!" (the fact of that was a thing in the first place, it's still bad). That would be a little different. BUT NO, IT'S NOT! IT'S HYPOCRITICAL AND GARBAGE BULLSHIT.

I think purely by the context already given here that I think the representation it's bad. I don't feel like it comes from a good place, due to the hypocritical shit, the comments, and the artist who directed it.

We could go really back and forth with the direct scenes of the episode. BUT THIS IS ABOUT THE CONTEXT SURROUND IT rather than the scenes themselves. (Which is partly connected to the fact that it's incomplete)

Here is the scene "Tuca and Bertie". Is Bertie telling her friend of her assault. It's amazingly respectful and well written. It's not graphic, and tells the story really well.

[spinningwebsandtales]

Imagine Sneaking Through The Citadel To Meet With Jack

Praetorian Jack X FemReader

Rating: T+

Warnings: Suggestive themes, steam, lots of kissing, basically over 1,000 words of pure self indulgence (no I'm not sorry)

Word Count: 1.4k

(A/N:) I went to go see Furiosa Friday....now I'm obsessed! Especially one character in particular, so I had to write something for him! Cause I have no control over what the idea worms bring to eat at my spastic brain! So fellow fangirls that watched Furiosa please enjoy this little indulgent creation of mine! Until next time happy reading! ~Countess

Mild spoilers below!!

The sun setting behind the rocky horizon of the Wasteland's left a dusky orange haze painting The Citadel. Majority of the residences were beginning to settle down for the evening, except for several War Boys taking the first watch of the evening. You waited patiently in a darkening alcove, pressed tightly against the wall. The thin clothing you had to wear barely fought back the chill and the terror of getting caught had you fighting shivers and breathing softly. Getting caught wasn't an option as it would have you in serious trouble all around. Not just for yourself but the man you were sneaking around for. His death would be inevitable if he was spotted with you. A couple War Boys walked by, talking about the possibility of heading out to battle soon. You sucked in a breath, pressing further against the wall. They walked by, not even giving a glance in your direction. This was the hardest part, waiting for the darkness to deepen so you could further make your way out of the well guarded halls.

While the whole place had started to settle hours ago, you didn't move until you knew the moon was high in the sky and the watchmen had become lax in their duties. Not many people were stupid enough to challenge Immortan Joe, so the War Boy's didn't take the night watch seriously. On light bare feet you stuck close to the shadows and quickly made your way to a hidden part of The Citadel. Your heart hammered in your chest and you clutched at your fluttering wrap. Though you had done this several times, you just knew you'd eventually get caught and thrown out into the horrible outside world. Then mere moments passed, though it felt like a lifetime, you squeezed into a hidden opening of an abandoned alcove. You sighed in relief when hands wrapped around you, one on your hip the other across your mouth. Your muffled surprise was silenced when you caught a familiar glimpse of dark hair and a scarred lip.

"Don't do that," you seethed when Jack removed his hand.

"Always so nervous," he chuckled sitting back against the cold natural stones.

"You know what happens if we get caught," you glared. Jack just shrugged and you huffed.

Praetorian Jack, The Citadel's greatest warrior and the man who kept the War Rig running. His team was known as the best and all the War Boys fought for a chance to ride for him. He was the first man to show you an ounce of kindness when you arrived at The Citadel. Sold to Immortan Joe in exchange for food, the man who you thought loved you, dumped you at his feet and never looked back. Being barren saved you from the fate of one of his wives, you found yourself doing any chores that was deemed worthy of your station. Thrown to the feet of Jack, you had become his problem for a short while until you were drug to another part of The Citadel for other tasks. That short time with the quiet gruff man had something grow between you, hence the sneaking to see one another.

Jack offered out his hand, knowing that you were losing yourself within horrible memories and he worried about you. These were the few times that made life worth living. You shook your head taking his offered hand and he lead you closer to him. You sat down between his legs, resting your back against his warm chest. He had forgone his leather jacket, leaving his rough clothing to catch against your linen garments. His presence and scent also soothing your nerves, as he held your hand, rubbing the top of your hand. His hands calloused and scarred but tender and kind. His nose brushing against the back of your neck, leaving you shivering. He kissed you gently, careful not to leave any marks. You leaned in backwards, staring up at him. Jack gave you a small smile, kissing your forehead causing you to giggle quietly. His fingers tangling with yours, he pressed another kiss to your forehead, before his stare became heated. You sat still letting him litter you with attention. He kissed your temple, cupping your cheek as he kissed your nose, cheek, before pausing above your lips. Your head still leaned back he took in your features before capturing your lips in an searing kiss. The upside down kiss awkward, but making your bare toes curl.

He released you to turn you around, slipping you back down onto his lap your legs wrapped around his waist. Cupping your cheeks with both hands, he pulled you back into his embrace. His stubble scratching against your soft skin, but you sighed into his mouth, your arms resting on his shoulders as you played with the long dirty strands of his hair. Jack deepened his kiss, tasting you in a more passionate way. You melted, unable to keep yourself upright. He released your cheeks, wrapping strong arms around your body and holding you tightly against his body. Air became a necessity too quickly and it had you both parting against each other. Warm puffs of air brushing against your wet and kiss swollen lips, Jack pressed his forehead against yours. You traced his features, your fingers soft against his rough face. He shivered in delight kissing and nipping at the digits. When he pulled away, he noticed some of his remaining war grease had smudged against your forehead. He licked his thumb cleaning it away.

"I don't want this to end," you said.

"Maybe one day it doesn't have to," Jack replied.

You stared at him with a curious look. He lost himself, staring at you deeply. You were an oasis in the desert. No amount of fighting and driving could give him a jolt of adrenaline like you did. It was these few stolen moments that he truly lived for. He didn't care what Immortan Joe wanted, if it gave him you then he would do whatever it took. He remembered those tearful fearful eyes of yours, when the War Boys had thrown you at his feet. You had lost everything and you didn't know what to expect. But when he held out that dirty, blood drenched hand you took it. Raising yourself from the floor and then it ended for Jack. He had to protect you and learn more from you. Your story, like everyone else's was filled with sadness and tragedy. He longed to make you forget all the horrible and hard times. And these fleeting times, hidden away from the watchful eyes of The Citadel and it's overlord he got to make that promise come to fruition. Stolen kisses, quiet sighs, and warm embraces. It was all here, that oasis for his soul.

"I will find away to save you," he promised. But he didn't want you to answer, to protest. So he kissed you, hard, fiercely, silencing any protests immediately. You held tightly, trying to keep up as Jack laid you gently back onto the stones. You threaded your fingers through his hair. He was all you could see, all that mattered as he leaned over you. Releasing you once more he laid down beside you. Tucking you into his side so you both could look up at the stars. A dusty haze always above your heads, but not enough to darken the night sky. You reached up, like you could scoop them up. Jack slid his hand up your arm his hand cupping the back of yours as his fingers also reached to the sky. Like you both could grab destiny together that played amongst the stars. You pulled your gaze from up above, looking towards the gentle man beside you.

"Let's save each other," you replied with conviction.

"You already have," Jack held on tighter. You searched for any sign that he said that just to make you feel better, only to see truth staring you in the face. You grasped his hand pulling it down to your chest. He felt your heartbeat thundering against your chest and Jack knew that he would give up anything to protect that kind heart. He held on tightly, not wanting to let any second pass him by in your presence. Even when time ran out and you both had to part ways, he held you against him. Taking you with him no matter where he was. And every time he looked up at the sky he could see you gazing back at him. You pushed him onwards and you held your ground. Knowing that the promised moments together were worth fighting for.

[koiiiiijiii]

Could you do some windbreaker characters with a fem gyaru s/o? I would specifically like Vinny you can chose any other character if you want :)

author note : OMG!! I searched some photos in pinterest, like inspiration for gyaru, and wooow!! i will definitely take some details into my style bc its sooo beautiful… i genuinely thought (idk why honestly) that gyaru is more like pink barbie in 80-90s style but it looks so cool i can’t!! sorry for such long reply, and we r mutuals so i feel even more ashamed :(( i tried with more characters but give up and done just these two!! hope you will like it💋🎗️

warning : pure fluff, vinny being softie and shelly cutie as always

vinny - he definitely have 0 idea about all fashion trends, styles and different subcultures aside from street racing… so he genuinely don’t give a fuck about your style, he crushing into person, not a pieces of clothes you wear, but once your dialogue went in all different direction, you explain him what your style specifically is and what inspired you to join this subculture, he take note in his head that as soon as he will earn more money he will buy you as many new clothes and other items as you wish.

it was one of your first dates, you were sitting together in some random cafe that you found on the way from the second-hand store to which you dragged Vinny to find new elements for your outfits.

“so… was it really necessary to spend solid 2 hours in that shop to find just few pair of shorts, skirts and belts?…” he began hesitantly, doubting whether it was worth bringing up the subject. do girls get angry if you ask them why spend so much time in the shops? should he change the subject of conversation? or maybe you want to discuss this trip to the store? it seemed that now Vinny’s brains would just explode, before you he had not had to communicate so long and closely with girls. when you looked up at him, it seemed to him that his heart skipped a couple of beats - your eyes literally sparkled with joy and fun.

"of course it was!! if you want to find really unique things, then there is no place better than a second-hand store! of course, you need to try to find something really worthwhile, but when you find that very thing.." you clenched your fists and squeezed your eyes shut, smiling so sweetly and swaying back and forth with impatience

"...oh right, let's go at my place today!!! i'll show you why we spent so much time there, these shorts and skirts will just go perfectly..." Vinny continued to listen as you happily chirped about your ideas of what to wear new things with, and it seems you also mentioned new places where you wanted to take photos together with him, and much more. at that moment, Vinny didn’t cared about anything as much as your smile. you were so sincere with him, you smiled so brightly, just like a little star in his hands, and he suddenly remembered that pleasant, soft and warm sensation in his chest, just like in rare moments from childhood. your touch pulled him out of his own thoughts as you gently shook his hand, looking questioningly into his eyes.

"didn't you listen to what i was saying?" you squinted suspiciously. "wh... what?.. no, i heard everything.."

laughing in response, you pulled him towards the exit of the cafe, in direction to your house. at that moment, it seemed to Vinny that there were no problems around, and he was finally felt like ordinary schoolboy. yes, you were the one who helped him still stay sane. you were his own little star.

shelly - 100% fashion intusiast so she highlighted your style immediately, and liked it!! as i mentioned before, she definitely would post tiktoks/insta stories with you, admiring how cool and beautiful her girlfriend is.

“hey, let’s go shopping together after school? how about finding some new stuff?” shelly said excitedly, coming up from behind and hugging you. it was the last day before weekends starts, so after school you could relax and go shopping in search of new things, maybe you will be lucky enough today and you will find some cool archive things from 2000s.

"oh my god, look at this!!" Shelly squealed in delight as she ran up to you. in her hands was Vivienne Westwood's archive white handbag, with silver chains as handles and with a distinctive badge. it needed a little repair, but for the price that was offered for this handbag, it was worth it!!

"Shelly is so cute, how did you find it?!" you exclaimed joyfully, picking up the bag from her hands and examining it from all sides. today it was a really cool piece, and after picking up a pair of pumpons and key chains for a bag, you headed to Shelly's house, deciding to celebrate this purchase with a sleepover at her house, her grandfather wasn’t at home, and he anyway liked when you two hang out together.

"what do you think about ordering something to eat and putting on makeup together? we can shoot something in tiktok! oh! or let's film unpacking for this baby, what do you say?" you asked her excitedly, as you remembered that Shelly always wanted to try your makeup style and clothes you usually wear. and she was so pleased that you remembered such little things that she mentioned once quite a long time ago, and they were deposited in your head. hugging you tightly around the neck and whispering a quiet thank you, Shelly took you by the arm and headed for her home, excitedly offering you ideas for posing and which sound you should choose for your tiktoks.

[valeriehalla]

Hello! I was reminded of your webcomic Goodbye To Halos recently and wanted to let you know it had a pretty big impact on me. I read it during my teenage years and I think it really helped me to contextualize and make sense of some feelings I was going through about - well, teenage stuff. Change, I guess, mostly. Changing bodies, changing genders, changing role in society, changing relationships with others - your comic helped me process a lot of my fears about those things.

Your comic was probably my first exposure to nudity that was neither sexual nor comedic. It really stuck with me how your comic has characters in states of undress fairly casually. Not like "walking down the street" casual, they're always in a safe place like a bedroom or a bathroom or something, but still. As someone who was raised Catholic it was really powerful to see nudity portrayed as so... not-shameful. Nudity is just a state the characters pass in and out of; they're nude after taking off their clothes like they would be wet after taking a shower. There's no shame in it. And that's really the way it ought to be, right? We were all born nude, it shouldn't be such a Thing as society makes it out to be.

That's just my little input on what impact your art has had on me. It was a good thing that I read it when I did. I wish you luck on all your future endeavors.

that's extremely kind of you, and very well-said, and thank you, and also that's absolutely wild for me to read.

i actually had to remind myself just now that there was in fact a sequence of (counting) eight pages where enae had her tits out. i didn't think a ton about it at the time. i do remember debating mentally whether to slap a "warning this page has boobs in it" label on the social media posts: i chafed at the idea, and i think i didn't do it? or only did it for some of them? i didn't want to because to even put such a warning immediately prompts the reader to think "oh something Sexualle is going on here," putting them on high alert and making it into a whole Thing. and it was not a Thing.

i always thought that some day, if ever i found the right moment, i wanted to have a page where fenic was fully nude. my idea of the "right moment" for that was that it would have to be at a juncture in the story where it made sense for her to be nude, and also where it would feel to the reader like there was absolutely no "point" to her nudity. the one page in the comic where fenic is topless was sort of a prelude to that idea: that might have been the moment, if there had been any reason at all to include her lower body in those panels, which there wasn't, so i didn't.

it's a fine line to walk. i think it's fairly obvious that there were many panels in that comic where the reader absolutely was meant to think "wow this character's attractive" (if they could get past my art back then lmao). i peppered those in liberally, sometimes because it was personally fun for me to draw, but always because it just seemed, i don't know, honest? for this story about young queer adults who are sort of omnidirectionally horny for one another to have a gaze reflecting that--for the reader to feel like they're "in on it" too, not in a leering sort of way, but as if they're just, like, sharing in it with the characters themselves. but then to have that, and then to also have full-on nudity, and for that nudity to feel at home with that sensation, but also purely incidental, and not in and of itself sexual, is a lot of objects to juggle, especially if one indeed (like me) wants it to not feel like there is a "Point" being made. so, it's cool to hear that it worked for at least one person. sorry for writing 999 words about this

[genericpuff]

I was kind of curious: What do you think of Persephone's therapy scenes in episodes 160-161?

I personally liked them, but you and many other LO critics always seem to see things that totally flew over my head (I mean that in a positive way).

I think the idea behind them was fine, just the execution that felt really half-baked. Rachel doesn't like scenes to sit too long so the therapy scene, of course, wound up being rushed in the course of 2-3 episodes (meaning she had to have Persephone dump everything all at once) and while Persephone's dialogue is handled relatively well, the direction of the scene itself feels entirely mismanaged (which is both a side effect of Rachel's directionless writing and the fact that she clearly doesn't want to do more than one of these kinds of episodes so she needs to speedrun it).

TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion concerning sexual assault ahead!

Like, let's start with Persephone's intent in going to therapy. Wanting to pursue therapy doesn't just happen suddenly, there's usually a "trigger event" to make someone realize "I need help", whether it be hitting rock bottom or even just going "I feel like I don't have the skills or tools necessary to deal with what I'm dealing with, I need a professional opinion".

Despite Eros advising her to go to therapy all the way back in S1 to address her assault-

-she actually finally goes to therapy in S2 not to address the assault, but to address... how she feels insecure in comparison to Hera who she just found out Hades had a long-term affair with??? At least that's definitely the implication.

And then of course the therapy session itself segues immediately into "Persephone is a high achiever and it's because of her mom being overbearing" which Rachel doesn't connect at all to either the SA or her feeling insecure compared to Hera (which, by the way, barely even has anything to do with her, but she didn't - and still doesn't - have the emotional maturity or self-respect to realize that Hades is a serial cheater-)

That's where the first therapy episode cuts off, and then the next episode immediately opens with Persephone writing her entire backstory on a whiteboard, so we can assume time has passed and she's talked about everything from her childhood up until this point.

Then we get Chiron asking Persephone... what could go wrong if she leaves TGOEM??

Even though we never saw any of the actual sequence so it just feels like a question that's coming out of nowhere? Like did Persephone say during that schpeel that she wanted to leave TGOEM? Isn't that something we should have seen to connect these two trains of thought?

Ah, right, because we have to get into Hades. Because this comic fails the Bechdel test so hard it can't even have a character talk about their trauma or childhood without it seguing into "well there's this one specific main character guy I just really wanna sleep with-"

Don't get me wrong, if Rachel is trying to "deconstruct purity culture" here, I can get her angle with this, if Persephone has been "groomed her entire life" to be an eternal maiden then there's clearly some thought processes about sexual attraction there that are being challenged by her attraction to Hades. But it just feels so rushed purely for the sake of getting her through her trauma and childhood problems and everything that Rachel tacked onto her backstory (in an attempt to make her seem more than just a self-insert) so that Rachel can get her back on track to sleeping with Hades, the one and only man she's clearly ever felt sexual attraction to enough to want to leave TGOEM and question her entire childhood.

And then we get this and I just-

Like first of all, again, Persephone being a complete airhead and not realizing that it has less to do with her possibly being an inadequate partner and more to do with Hades being a serial cheater who also used her as an emotional affair partner;

but ALSO the fact that the conclusion is some "eureka" moment of "you're a bad decision maker" ??? I was a fan of the comic still when this scene happened and even I went "huh?"

Like she doesn't bother to try and connect it to everything she just learned and said about her childhood and how she wants to be the "perfect daughter" who will make everyone happy, Chiron just reduces it to "oh you just suck at making decisions". As if "sucking at making decisions" isn't like, a reactionary extension of deeper problems. She's treating it as if Persephone is some "puzzle" to be solved and her being a "bad decision maker" was the answer when it's undoubtedly just one of many side effects of her upbringing. It feels like she's addressing the cough and not the virus.

Also a little off topic but-

Gotta love how we've never seen Persephone actually employ this homework from her therapist because she's constantly stapled to Hades and the only thing she cares about is his happiness. Literally, I don't think Persephone could possibly answer that question because she's never been independent enough to even learn what makes her happy - she's jumped from wanting to make her mother happy to wanting to make Hades happy but we're supposed to condemn the former and celebrate the latter.

Buuut of course we don't get her answering that question because again, Rachel can't spend more than 30 seconds on a single scene because that would demand too much writing and thought from her. So we cut to Hera having a discussion with Asclepius regarding her scars re-opening, yadda yadda.

By the time we cut back to the therapy session at the start of the next episode (that's three episodes that have been spent basically accomplishing nothing because none of the thought threads tie together in a meaningful way beyond what the audience has to assume) Chiron is conveniently wrapping things up and it's then and only then does Rachel try to actually incorporate the SA plotline that was Persephone's ORIGINAL MOTIVATION in going to therapy.

Now, the scene for the most part is fine, I don't really like how the therapy session was written leading up to it, but her describing her freeze response and how she feels guilty she couldn't "fight back" is a very real feeling that I can definitely say was well written.

My one gripe with it though - and sure, this might be nitpicky, but here me out - is this:

I don't particularly like that Chiron the therapist just found out about her patient being a rape victim - someone who's also said she doesn't like people grabbing her / touching her without her consent - and then decides the best course of action is to comfort her... while touching her.

Now I want to make it perfectly clear, it's not against the law or even the code of ethics to make physical contact between a therapist and their patient. Loads of patients have made breakthroughs with their therapists that have called for hugs and while some therapists may not be okay with it, there are definitely therapists who are who fully understand that hugs in those moments are the best thing for a person. But it's still a general boundary that is there and even with patients who aren't victims of SA, consent needs to be asked for / given.

So Chiron just... coming over and touching Persephone on the knee, while undoubtedly seen as a "warm and comforting act" by those who have had similar sessions with their own therapists or even just those who have no clue and see it on the surface level as being "sweet", really irks me, because it just seems so tone deaf to do with a character like Persephone who is supposed to be a victim of having her bodily autonomy taken away from her.

Again, it's a small criticism, and undoubtedly a nitpick in the eyes of some, but a simple "can I give you a hug?" from either Chiron or Persephone would have gone a long way in accomplishing Persephone's need for consent and bodily autonomy a lot more than just having Chiron come up and touch her leg without her consent. Please, for the love of god, let Persephone have some autonomy, asking for consent doesn't ruin the moment.

And that's pretty much it, Persephone talks about how she feels like she's tethered to Apollo, and Chiron assures her that's not the case, session over, Persephone goes outside to Hades aaaand notice how we never actually tackled that "I feel insecure because of my partner having former partners?" thing? Notice how the best we got was her talking about her fears of being an "inadequate partner" which focused entirely on her not being "enough" for Hades and being a "bad decision maker" rather than pointing out 1.) Hades' own faults in being a serial cheater that would undoubtedly contribute to her insecurities and 2.) what Persephone could do for Hades rather than what Hades could do for Persephone? It's always "I don't know if I'm good enough for him" and never "I don't know if he's good enough for me."

Yet another F-- on Lore Olympus' Bechdel test. Every single thing tacked onto Persephone's backstory is meant purely to get her with Hades - TGOEM is just an obstacle preventing her from having sex with Hades, the assault is just a framing device to show how much "better" Hades is for Persephone than Apollo, her overbearing childhood is just to show how much more "free" she is now that she's not living with her mother and is living with Hades instead, etc.

No agency, no autonomy, no character, even when it tries.

[squirmhoney]

What about daemons daughter from rhea that was living in kings landing bc daemon abandoned her and at driftmark he tries to steal her away to go to dragonstone after she defended aemond and alicent but she runs away to kings landing and years later when they go to defend luke they walk into or hear her and aemond having sex and see that they have kids now and are married, daemon does something to anger her and aemond at the dinner where she wears green and sits next to aemond and maybe jace asks to dance with her and she has a look of disgust on her face constantly

A/N: I felt like these requests were super similar so I put them together. The only thing is I didn’t write everything that was suggested because it just got so long. I hope you’re happy with it. It’s Velaryon reader but still with a relationship with Daemon. Also I age up the characters so they can have so many children as I don’t think of them doing anything until they are 18. Warnings: smut, oral (m and f receiving), squirting. angst. Just lots and lots of smut Pairing: Aegon Targaryen x Velaryon!Reader (niece) x Aemond Targaryen Word count: 7.8k

Master List

In your Abandonment

Abandonment was something you had become accustomed to growing up. First you had been abandoned by your father, being the only other person that knew what truly happened that night on Driftmark. The second time was by the person that you considered to be your second father, as Daemon left you at Kings Landing on a trip he planned for the two of you. You weren't sure which one hurt more, each came so unexpected.

At least when Daemon tricked you into a trip to Kings Landing, he had the decency to look you in the eye when he left you there. Years away from your family gave you time to dwindle on the reason for them leaving you. The one moment that stuck vividly in your mind being the time you defended Aemond on Driftmark, distraught on how he had been mauled by your brothers. Your mother had glared at you, a scowl evident on her lips as she looked at you with pure disgust. That was the first time you had felt a horrible pain, feeling as if a dagger had been shoved into your back and each time something happened it was them twisting it again.

You loved them but over time with not being able to escape the four walls of your dim room in the red keep, you started to despise them. A bile rose to your throat every time you closed your eyes haunted by the memories that were your family. You wept for weeks in that room unable to escape the torment of their voices you heard in your head, feeling your skin crawl as if there very presence was still with you. You had sent letters in the first few months begging for your mother to take you back to Dragon Stone or for them to at least write back to you.

Eventually after not hearing from them within the first year, the mere thought of them became a distant memory.

In your pain you found solace in two people, your uncles.

Aemond was of course drawn to you. How could he not be after you defended him so valiantly when he lost his eye. But after the incident he lost all his confidence and struggled to even talk to you.

It was Aegon that had approached you first, seeing your sad frail figure in the gardens and finding himself stopping as he towered over your frame. He saw something of himself in you that day, or that's at least what you believed, two broken souls neglected by the people meant to love them most.

"A drink?" Aegon asked, swinging the bottle of wine he had stolen in front of your face.

You peered up from your book with your tear stained face and puffy cheeks as you shook your head.

"It helps," Aegon added, taking a swig from the bottle. "Well sometimes."

"I don't think the queen would appreciate me getting drunk with you uncle,"  you told him, speaking so timidly he almost didn't hear you.

"So formal, call me Aegon. We are practically the same age,"  he chuckled, taking a seat next to you. "What the queen doesn't know won't hurt her?"

"We are in the gardens, anyone could see us." You looked around, blushing at the indecent thought of drinking your sorrows away with Aegon.

"Well, we can go somewhere private." He wiggled his brows, taking your hand as he pulled you up.

Aegon found peace with you, enjoying your presence every time he felt the pressures of being the eldest son weighing on his shoulders. These times where you both escaped together, you found yourself finding some sort of enjoyment finally not being alone in the Red Keep.

It took Aemond a while to approach you, it only happening when he stumbled on you looking after Aegon in his drunken state.

You hadn't expected out of all the people in Kings Landing, Aemond to be the person that helped you drag Aegon to his rooms that night. While you had gotten tipsy that night, Aegon had got past the point of speech. Both you and Aemond having to drag him through the halls not saying a word to each other until you safely dropped Aegon into his rooms.

"Shall I escort you to your rooms?" Aemond asked, walking over to the door.

"I think I will stay and look after Aegon. I don't want him to choke on his vomit in his sleep," you told him, sitting next to Aegon's laid out body.

"Why are you so kind to him?" Aemond questioned, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you.

"Aegon has been there for me when no one has," you confessed, the alcohol making your lips loose. "I was alone and Aegon was a friend when no one else was."

"Well if you feel like having another friend, one that doesn't convince you to drown your sorrows but instead to talk about them, you know where to find me." Aemond's hand reached for the door, giving you a small smile as he turned to leave.

"Aemond." You made him halt in his tracks, looking up at him with the deepest sincerity. "Would you stay and be that friend now?"

Aemond nodded, walking back over to the chair opposite the bed. There you spoke, not about everything but finally you felt yourself able to open up about the pain that your family made you feel,  finally allowing it to free you in some sort of way.

You never knew when exactly it happened, maybe among the jealousy as the pair of boys fought over you, but you started to fall deeply for them. You confessed your feelings one night, after your name day celebrations. The suitors had been thrown on you, making you feel dizzy after all the dancing and chatter. When you finally escaped to your rooms with Aegon and Aemond, you realised there was no one else you wanted but them. The words spilled from your lips that night and both Aemond and Aegon reassured you with heated kisses and passionate touching as they took you to bed.

You married both of them a few nights later under the moon and the stars. Eventually you fell pregnant with your first child and you had to confess to everyone especially the Queen and King.

While the alliance between you and Aegon was a shock to Alicent's very core, she realised the advantages to it, not that she would ever admit that to you. She wasn't happy that you married the pair of them and did argue that you could only confess to one marriage to the public. Aemond never minded, he knew that he was in your heart constantly and beside you in your bed every night, who cares if people didn't know you were married. The suspicions were there anyway, the servants and knights seeing the way you clung to both of the princes.

You were happy, contended in life.

Until you saw a familiar face walking in the gardens of Kings Landing, one that you didn't think you see for a long time.

"Princess," Lord Vaemond greeted you, bowing slightly as he stopped.

You stood mouth parting as you found no words for a moment. "I'm so sorry Lord Vaemond, I had no idea you were here," you told him, eyes wide as you looked him up and down.

"I'm sorry that you have not been informed. I'm sure you'll be seeing your mother and brothers soon though," he told you, acting as if it was common knowledge.

Your stomach fell into knots as your face dropped slightly but you tried to cover it with a smile. "Important business I assume. I must get back to my husband, please do excuse me Lord Vaemond."

You were furious as you stormed the halls of the Red Keep, your guardsman trying to ask if you were okay but you just waved your hand at him unable to answer.

Once you reached your shared quarters, you were pointed into the direction of your daughters room by Ser Erryk. You nodded and gave him a quick smile before you stepped in. You were quiet as you closed the door behind you, noticing how Aegon read to Daenys, your daughter, a story. Her gentle snores relaxed you as you watched how Aegon pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before walking over to you.

He grinned widely taking your hand in his as he dragged you out of the room. Aegon could sense your tense body, he had seen all your emotions over the years and could tell how upset you were now. But he didn't dare question it in front of Daenys, not wanting to frighten her.

"My love," Aegon said, wide eyes looking at you with concern. "You seem unwell."

You yanked him into your shared rooms, slamming the door behind you to make sure you had privacy.

"Did you know?" You interrogated him, pushing against his chest with your fists. Your voice laced with venom and anger. "Did you?"

"Know what?" He asked, grabbing your wrists into his hands.

"That my mother is coming because of something with Lord Vaemond," you said, voice dropping at the thought.

Aegon could see the pain and sadness that still lingered there, body trembling and eyes brimmed with tears. "It might of been mentioned in one of the council meetings," Aegon confessed, trying to rack his mind back. "But you know how I don't listen to anything in there. If I had remembered, I would have warned you."

You pulled yourself away from him, shaking your head in disbelief. You felt that dagger back again, twisting it's way in your stomach now as you hauled yourself over a bucket. A sickening taste rose up your throat as you puked into the bucket, collapsing to your knees.

Aegon ran to your side as he stroked your back helping you get everything up. "This stress isn't good for the baby." He turned his head to the door voice shouting now as he called, "I need a Maestor, now."

The door barged open, Aemond sprinting in upon hearing Aegon's voice through the door.

"What is it? What's happened?" Aemond was quick to ask, running to your side.

"She heard her mother is coming and she's worked herself up over it," Aegon told him, still hovering over your frame with deep worry in his eyes.

It wasn't long before a Maestor came, prescribing you some herbal calming tea that could help with the sickness and stress. But he was quick to tell both Aemond and Aegon to get rid of the cause.

Not really much they could do when the cause was your mother.

Aemond slipped into bed beside you, hand resting over your bump as he tried to comfort you. "I'm sorry, I didn't tell you."

You tried to push him away, wanting to be angry with him in the moment. Anger was easier than sadness, the latter just reminded you that you still weren't over the years of abandonment you felt.

"My love," Aemond sighed, pulling your back to his chest. "It is not good for you to shut us out like this. It is okay to be mad at us but please do not bottle up your emotions."

"Talk to us," Aegon chimed in, sliding in in front of you. His hand reached out to cup your face, thumb rubbing against the skin of your cheek.

"You can't make me see them again," you stammered, tears pouring from your eyes as you looked between them. "I won't do it. I wanted to forget about them like they forgot about me. Here is my safe haven and there very presence threatens to destroy that."

Aemond's hand rubbed up and down your arm, trying to soothe your trembling body. "We won't force you to do anything. You can do things when you are ready or not at all."

"The queen will make me see her." You shook your head at the thought, feeling like you were that little girl pleading for her mother to take you back to Dragon Stone. "I just know it."

"I will talk to mother," Aemond said.

_

Each day passed, your nerves erratic as you practically kept to your rooms scared for the arrival. When you did venture outside your quarters, you'd find yourself jumping into empty closet rooms at the sound of someone walking down the hallway. Your personal guardsman had started to find you very amusing, sometimes even hiding with you not to alert whoever was walking down the hall.

Today it happened on your way to the gardens, hearing the voices of chuckles from the around the corner and you scampered into an empty room. Your personal guardsman caught off guard, didn't follow you this time but did wait outside the door until the coast was clear.

The door opened slightly, Aegon's head poking in with a wide grin.

"What are you doing?" He jested, stepping into the room.

"Hiding," you stated, leaning against some old book shelves. "Clearly."

Aegon poked his head out, pulling someone into the room with him. It was Aemond who was shaking his head with a smile that matched Aegon's as he noticed you.

"This isn't funny," you hissed at them, fingers rubbing at your temples.

"This is kind of funny," Aegon joked, closing the door behind him.

"What's not funny is the stress that you are causing yourself," Aemond said, tutting as he walked up to you. "You are constantly looking over your shoulder paranoid that they will be there."

Aegon's body pressed up against your back while Aemond pressed against your front, both trapping you between them.

"Let us take your mind else where," Aegon suggested, licking at your neck as he started to grope at your ass through your dress.

"In here?" You turned to look at Aegon, only for him to catch your lips with his in a heated kiss. You shifted around, facing Aegon.

"Yes in here," Aemond whispered, fingers undoing the laces of your dress. His mouth hovered over the skin of your neck, making the skin prickle in delight until he finally smothered it in kisses. He started to make a trail, licking and sucking as he peeled your dress off of you, making his way down your back.

As soon as your dress was pooling at your waist, Aegon attacked your breasts, firmly wrapping his lips around your nipple. He used his hand to play with your other tit, pinching at your nipple, massaging the skin of your tit. You whimpered at the feeling, head leaning back into Aemond's shoulder as you did.

Aemond covered your mouth with his own, licking his tongue into your mouth to find yours as he gripped onto the back of your head to deepen the kiss.

It was Aegon that ripped your dress completely off of you, getting frustrated with the material between your bodies. His fingers instantly dove to your cunt, coating his fingers in your slick as he slid it around. He found your clit, pinching it which had you gasping into Aemond's mouth.

"You're so wet for us," Aegon chuckled, fingers finally sliding against where you desperately needed him. He circled your clit, moving slowly as he got you worked up. "Brother, you really should feel how wet she is."

Aemond hummed, hand sliding down as his fingers grazed the skin of your ass before he placed it betweeen your thighs. His fingers prodded at your entrance, teasing you with them. "She is so very wet, so easy for me to slip in." That he did, fingers slipping into your spongy walls with ease as you moaned out at the feeling.

With both of boys working on your cunt, you weren't sure how much longer you'd hold out. Aegon's free hand grabbed the back of your face, yanking you towards him in a heated kiss. His forehead rested against yours when he pulled away, eyes dilated with a deep hunger as he stared at you.

"I want to look upon your face as you cum on our fingers," Aegon confessed, quickening his fingers as they worked against you.

You held Aegon's gaze, as you felt your walls flutter around Aemond's fingers. "Oh heavens," you cried out, cumming hard without warning. Your hand grabbed a hold of Aegon's shoulder, both their bodies holding up as you rode out your orgasm.

"That's it, angel." Aegon's hands slowed down as he brought you in for another kiss.

Aemond pulled his fingers out of you, giving you a soft slap to his ass. "I think she's ready."

Aegon peered at Aemond over your shoulder, snearing at him. "Maybe for you brother."

Aemond proceeded to ignore him, pushing you down by your back, lifting your hips up as he carried you over to a table. He had you kneeling on the table, perfect height as your ass pressed into his crotch. You arched your hips back into him, rubbing your cunt against him and leaving a wet patch on his trousers.

"Needy little thing aren't you," Aemond mocked, grabbing your ass cheeks with his hands. He parts them slightly bending down to lick a stripe against your cunt, humming in delight at the taste. "Tell me, what do you want from me, wife?"

"Fuck me, please," you pleaded, arching your ass back into his face. "I need you."

His hand slapped your ass, soothing it over with a kiss. You heard him undoing his trousers, his cock springing up and hitting your slit. He rubbed it up and down, eliciting a whimper from you as it prodded against your entrance.

"Please, Aemond." You looked back at him, sticking your bottom lip out as you pouted.

He shoved his cock in, letting out a guttural groan as your walls clenched around him. He rutted his hips into yours, using his grip on your ass cheeks to fuck into you.

You completely forgot your whereabouts, lewd moans escaping your mouth as you grinded your hips back into him. Your eyes squeezed shut, hand grabbing the end of the table to ground yourself, so overcome with pleasure you found yourself slipping into the seven heavens with the way you felt.

"I think she's going to come again," Aegon teased, coming to stand in front of you. He gripped your hair, turning your head to look at Aemond. "I want you to stare at Aemond while you cum. He needs to see how he makes you feel."

Aemond stared down at you, eyes completely blown out and his mouth agape as he groaned. His fingers grazed your back, moving around your front till he reached your cunt.

"Look at you so brain dead as my brother fucks you," Aegon taunted, rubbing himself over his trousers. "Just desperately waiting for release."

His words rung true, your mind blank as you whimpered.

"Cum for me," Aemond demanded, feeling how close you were.

You were brought to the edge, your core clenching hard around him as you you came, pulling his own orgasm from him. His pace became sloppy as he spilt into you, hot cum painting your walls. His pace slowed down, slipping out of you as his cum dripped out of your cunt.

"Finished already, brother," Aegon chuckled, pushing his brother away to get behind you.

Aemond punched him on his shoulder to shut him up, having Aegon hiss as he massaged the sore spot on his chest. Aemond just rolled his eyes at his older brother, moving to the side of the room.

Aegon flipped your body over, back on the table so you could look up at him. He pulled you up, chest to chest as he kissed you. "By the time I'm done with you, dear wife, I would have fucked another babe into you."

You giggled, arms wrapping around the back of his neck. "That's not possible if I'm already pregnant."

He nestled his head into the side of your neck, sucking and nibbling on your throat. "You'll see what I mean," he whispered against your skin.

Aegon grabbed his cock, only yanking down his trousers slightly, his thick cock resting against your slit.  He rested his forehead against yours as his arm wrapped around your back, supporting you.

"Put it in for me," Aegon directed, guiding your hand towards his cock. Your legs wrapped around him, pulling him towards you as you centred his cock at your entrance. You moaned together as he slid in, feeling full again as your walls hugged him. "Gods, that's my good wife."

He gently placed you down back against the table, hovering over you as he did. He kissed you roughly, pressing himself deeper into you as he started to fuck you at an agonisingly slow pace. He lifted himself, breaking away from your lips as he watched your tits with a wide grin.

Your tits bounced for him as he fucked into you hard, making sure to come all the way out and back in. You were gasping, grabbing onto his hand as you gripped it tightly.

"Faster please," you begged, not being able to take the slowness anymore.

"I like it when you beg." Aegon leaned down, his lips turning up into a mischievous grin. "Do it again."

"Please, Aegon. I want it so badly," you pleaded desperately, holding onto his arms.

His hips started to pound into you ruthlessly, moaning into your lips as he rested on top of you. You were so lost in him, consumed by him as you started moaning obscenities from your lips.

Suddenly, the door opened, familiar voices pouring into the room. Your head snapped round to look, trying to wriggle free as you caught sight of your mother stood there.

Rhaneyera's mouth hung up, staring at the pair of you with utter shock. Next to her was Daemon, a scowl on his lips.

Aegon didn't stop his movements, holding you down with the weight of his body as he stared at Rhaneyera. "Sister," he chuckled, kissing the side of your face as she glared at the pair of you.

Aemond stood in front of the pair of you, pushing his way out and closing the door behind him. "We must not disturb the married couple," he said, the smirk evident in his cheery tone.

"Aegon." You looked up at him, wide eyes with panic. "Stop-" the sound of swords being drawn was heard "-stop now."

He peeled himself off of you, groaning as he quickly pulled his trousers up. You followed him scampering to get your dress back on, not bothering with the laces as you held it close to your body.

Aegon yanked the door open, covering your body with his as he stepped out.

The guards were stood between Aemond and Daemon, both with swords out ready to fight. Luckily Alicent stormed round the corner, the Queen stopping the commotion immediately.

"What is going on?" Alicent asked, standing by the side of Aemond.

"Your son defiles my child, that's what is going on," Rhaneyera shouted, gesturing to you and Aegon at the door.

"Children please return to your chambers," Alicent ordered, eyes following you all as you walked away. "It seems I need to catch up our guests on some matters."

_

Your heart was pounding out of your chest once you returned to your rooms, falling onto the bed in a heap. Aegon joined you, ripping away at your clothes that were still not tied up. He was still hard as he pressed himself against you, easily slipping in to your core as he pushed himself into you.

"Aegon, really," you gasped, hips arching into him. "After all that just happened."

"I still need to cum," he told you, pounding his hips into yours. "Besides I think if me and Aemond kept fucking you, keeping you so docile like this, there would be no second for you to have to worry."

You couldn't help it as your lips turned up into a smile, his words amusing you. "I like that idea."

He pushed your legs, wrapping them around his shoulders to reach a deep angle, laughing menacingly as you moaned beneath him. Tears brimmed your eyes as he carried on fucking you, not knowing if you could handle the feeling anymore.

Within seconds you were cumming, your core pulsating around Aegon's cock. His lips hovered on top of yours, moans escaped both of your mouths as he came on top of you, filling you to the very brim. He held you there, not sliding out as he collapsed onto you. Both of you tried to catch your breath as you looked at each other.

"I forgot how good your cunt feels when you cum," Aegon hummed, unwrapping your legs to allow you comfort. "You could make any man cum within seconds with that cunt."

"My love," Aemond's voice called to you, sat on the other side of the room. He looked up at the pair of you and looked back down as he noticed Aegon's ass. "Brother, would you mind moving so I could look at Y/N?"

Aegon sighed, thinking for a second as he looked down at you. He moved, pulling you with him as he flipped your positions, still staying buried deep inside you. You sat up to look at Aemond, grinning widely as you clenched your walls around Aegon's cock making him groan.

Aemond stood up, striding over to you in long steps. He cupped your face with his hand as he reached you, giving you a gentle smile as his thumb brushed over your lips. "I'm going to go check on the little ones and then to training if that's okay with you? Aegon can keep your mind off of things in here." He pressed a soft kiss to your lips as you nodded.

Of course, Aegon had to steal the moment pressing his hips up to elicit a moan from you.

"Of course, my husband," you said, pulling him in for a deeper kiss.

Unfortunately, Aegon wasn't having any of it as he repeated his actions laughing as you broke the kiss to whimper in Aemond's mouth. Aemond glared down at him, shaking his head.

"Sorry, brother but you know you could always stay and join us," Aegon jested, fingers grazing the skin of your stomach.

"Childish," Aemond retorted, giving you a sweet smile as he walked off.

You turned to Aegon, slapping his chest as you scolded him. "Be kind to your brother."

The door closed behind Aemond, leaving you and Aegon alone.

"I was just trying to entice him," Aegon stated, rocking his hips up into yours. "I know how you like it when we both take turns fucking you. But you know I love it when I get you to myself."

"That you do." You smirked, biting down on your lip.

His hands gripped on your thighs, helping you go faster as you started to ride him. He stared admiringly at your tits as they bounced up and down for him. "Gods, you are so fucking beautiful."

_

Aegon loved reading to his daughter at night or even listening as you or Aemond did it. Pampering your children in love felt like it made up for the years of neglect he felt himself growing up. He also found he wasn't as great with babies and he didn't like to hold your son, Aenar, much, scared to not hold his head up right.

That's what Aemond was good for, cradling Aenar till he fell asleep. From the crib, Aegon could watch, cooing at him as he brushed a finger gently down his face.

"Brother," Aemond called from the door, stepping in to the room.

Aegon placed his forefinger on his lips as he hushed Aemond, closing the book he had been reading in his lap. He places a fallen strand of hair behind Daenys' ear and a gentle kiss to her cheek before he strides over to his brother.

"How is Y/N?" Aemond asked, opening the door for his brother.

"I must say I definitely exhausted her," Aegon said, very proud of himself. "She's knocked out."

They both walked together into your shared chambers, Aegon taking a seat by the table while Aemond made his way to the bed. You were curled up into the bed, gentle snores filling the room as Aemond approached you.

Aemond stared down at you, a frown sat on his lips as his fingers played with your curls. "She's going to hate me tomorrow."

"Why is that?" Aegon questioned, pouring two glasses of wine.

"Because mother wants us to show a family united tomorrow." Aemond shook his head. "Our older sister has also requested to see her daughter and grandchildren tomorrow. Apparently the king has approved it and there really isn't anything I could argue to get it stopped."

"Fuck." Aegon handed his brother a cup of wine.

"I was hoping she could just rest here." Aemond took a sip of the wine, turning to look at his brother now. His eyebrows furrowed, taking in the sight of what Aegon was wearing. "Is that Y/N's night gown?"

Aegon looked down at the gown and nodded. "It's super comfortable brother." He grinned striding over to the bed on the other side of you. "You should try it sometime."

"Aemond," you whispered, eyes fluttering open to your husbands' voices. You shifted your body, turning to him as you reached out your hand. "Come to bed, my love."

Aemond stripped himself of him clothes while Aegon slipped in behind you. Aemond pulled you onto his chest as he got in the bed, letting his finger trail over your stomach. Your hand reached back, pulling Aegon closer to your back as he wrapped his arms around your body.

Within moments you'd fall asleep like that, content in each others arms.

_

You were woken the next morning to kisses being pressed to your face as a hand snaked it's way between your legs. You were still so sensitive from your antics with Aegon that you hissed when two fingers rubbed against your clit. Your thighs instinctively snapping shut on someone's arm, looking down to notice Aemond between your legs.

"My love, it is so early." You said, opening your legs slightly to allow him entrance.

"I know but unfortunately today we all need to be up early," Aemond said, in his croaky morning voice. His breath fanned across your cunt making you hiss at the sensation.

"Why?" You asked, sitting yourself up on your pillows.

"I hoped to tell you after I brought you to pleasure," he said, cutting you off from saying more as his tongue reached for your cunt. He lapped at your folds, licking up the juices that rested there.

Of course you were wet already, having Aegon prodding his cock against your side all night left you like this.

He sucked on your clit, holding your hips down as you tried to grind on his face. You whined at his slow pace, your stomach already tingling from how over sensitive it was.

Aegon woke next to you, eyes peering to see what was going on before turning over for more sleep. You laughed at his reaction, shaking your head as you looked down at Aemond who was grinning against you.

You moaned as his tongue worked faster against you, arching your back slightly as you found yourself coming close to the edge. His hands reached up to your tits, pinching your nipples with his fingers. Within seconds your thighs squeezed around him, pleasure washing over you in a rush as you cried out to him. You were seeing stars as you gripped onto the sheets, feeling like you were about to black out.

Eventually you opened your eyes again, wincing when Aemond brought you a soft towel to clean you up. He was gazing down at you with a smile that was wavering as he opened his mouth to speak.

"I have to see my family, don't I?" You asked, face sinking at the thought.

Aemond nodded, sighing deeply as he moved to pick you up on. He lifted you up off the bed pulling you into him as he shifted positions, having you sit on his lap. You hid your face in his shoulder, tears escaping your eyes as you held him close to you.

"I'm sorry," Aemond whispered, fingers dancing up and down your back. "We all have to go to the throne room today but you won't have to speak to anyone there. However, Rhaneyera has demanded to see you and our children afterwards  and she went to father which of course he agreed to."

You felt another hand rub your thigh, realising Aegon must of got up due to your crying.

"I will be with you the whole time," Aegon said, trying to reassure you. "And Aemond will be standing just outside the door."

You lifted your head up slightly to look at them.

"Anyway you are a dragon, my love," Aemond told you, wiping the tears from your cheeks. "You have the strength of a dragon and courage. Do not let them make you feel any less than them because you are more than all of them combined."

_

Aemond's word stuck with you through the morning and while at first you felt as if you were going to puke from nerves as you walked through the halls, your stomach settled as you realised they could do you no actual harm.

You held onto Aegon's side in the throne room, eyes glaring over to the other side as you noticed your family. A part of you grew sad at how much your brothers had grown of the years, you barely recognised them. But even that thought turned sour, reminding yourself how that opportunity to grow up with your siblings had been ripped away from you.

As you glared at Daemon and Rhaneyera on the other side of the room, your heart filled with anger and hatred, for all the pain they had caused you over the years.

You were quick to return to your quarters after Daemon swung his sword through Vaemond, leaving your stomach in wretches as you almost hurled on the floor. You gathered your strength up in your chambers but still your skin crawled as you waited for your mother.

It wasn't until the afternoon that your mother arrived, your guardsman opening the door to let her in. The silence lingered in the air for a while as the servants poured you wine and plated food on the table.

Daenys toddled over to Rhaneyera, poking at the end of her dress. Your mother gleamed at her, leaning down towards her.

"And who you might be?" Rhaneyera asked, reaching out to stroke her hair.

You were quick to pull Daenys away, placing her on your hip as you gave a tight lipped smile to your mother. "This is Daenys," you introduced, stroking your daughters hair. "Named after the dreamer that-"

"Saved us from the doom of Valyria," Rhaneyera finished, hand stroking against your face. "I'm guessing you named your son Aenar as well after her father." You nodded. "You were always fond of the stories of old Valyria as a child."

"If it wasn't for that dream, none of us would be standing where we are today." Your eyes welled with tears at your mother's soft touch.

A hand pressed to your shoulder and your attention was brought to Aegon. He wrapped an arm protectively around your back as he smiled down at you. "My love, shall we sit."

Rhaneyera retreated a hand from you, scowling at Aegon now. "May I speak to my daughter alone?"

You looked up at Aegon who was opening his mouth with a smirk evident on his lips.

"Husband." You cut him off, handing Daenys over to him. "Please take the children, I will talk with my mother alone."

"Are you sure?" Aegon asked you, eyes wide with concern.

You smiled up at him, nodding. Aegon pressed a long kiss to your forehead. As he turned to his sister staring, he reached down to your lips giving you a heated kiss. He stared at his sister as he slowly broke the kiss and finally departed the room.

Rhaneyera reached out grabbing your hands as she looked at you with fear in her eyes. "Return with me to Dragonstone," she whispered, pulling your hands up to her chest. "You'll be safe there from my brothers, I assure you that."

You furrowed your brows and laughed, confused at her reaction. It took you a second to realise what she meant by it.

"I chose to marry Aegon and Aemond," you told her, ripping your hands from her. "It was me that confessed my love to them first and it was me that convinced them to marry me."

"Why?" Rhaneyera asked, squinting her eyes at you.

"Because I love them."

"Why?"

"Because they've been there for me when no one else has," you shouted defensively, stepping away from your mother. "Because when I was alone here and lost, they comforted me through it all. Through all the pain and sadness."

"This can't be," she protested, holding onto a chair for support. "They turned you against me and married you to Aegon so they could-"

"No." You pointed your finger at her, shaking your head. Tears brimmed at you eyes as you tried to ignore the lump in your throat, swallowing it down. "The only person that turned me against you, was you. You when you conspired with your husband to leave me here. You when you ignored every single letter I sent begging you to take me back to Dragon Stone."

You brought your hand to your mouth trying to hold yourself together.

Rhaneyera just stared at you completely speechless.

"Aegon comforted me on nights when I would lie sobbing in my beds. He'd tell me jokes and take my mind off of the pain I was feeling," you confessed, hands reaching over your swelling stomach. "Aemond listened to me when I needed someone to talk to, reassuring me it wasn't my fault you abandoned me. That it wasn't something I did."

"I'm sorry." Rhaneyera stepped closer to you to reach out to you. "I am truly-"

"Get out," you shouted, flinching away from her. "You have seen me and my children but I do not need your apologies or an explanation for why you did what you did. I made my peace with it and I am happy here. This is my home now, Aegon and Aemond are my home."

"I see," Rhaneyera said, walking towards the door. She looked back at you for a second, a shared look of pain in your eyes as you stared at each other.

But you turned away, looking anywhere but her.

_

Dinner was no better than you thought it could be. Every time your name was mentioned or a comment was thrown your way, one of your husbands would defend you mercilessly. A wide grin spread on your face at how they protected you at all costs. Luckily you missed the commotion, returning to your chambers once the king had been sent to bed.

When you reached your quarters, you helped put your children to bed, hoping that they didn't feel you had neglected them after the last few nights. But Daenys smiled at your presence, curling up to you as you told her a story.

Then you returned to your own chambers, hoping it wouldn't be long before your husbands were back. Your servants undressed you helping you into the thin night dress you picked out. A dress that was practically see through in the candle light.

You sat on the bed, waiting for your husbands to return.

Both of them stormed in together, smirks on their faces as they stepped in. They were both laughing together, something you hardly ever saw.

"Husbands," you called, directing the attention towards you. "You seem to be very happy, should I be concerned?"

Aemond was first one to greet you, yanking your body towards him as he gripped the sides of your face. He gave you a searing kiss, mouth practically sucking yours.

"Let's just say we defended you gallantly against your family," Aegon boasted, heading straight for the wine on the table.

Aemond wasn't letting up as he pressed you down into the bed, hands grabbing at any part of your body he could get to. "I need you," Aemond told you, parting your legs so he could push his hard on against you.

"Take me," you directed him, helping him out of his clothes. "I want to show you both how proud you've made me tonight."

With your help, Aemond's clothes were peeled off in moments and your night gown was ripped apart in his hands. He held your thighs down to the bed as he climbed above you, cock prodding against your entrance. Without warning he shoved it in, making you gasp in delight as he bottomed out. Within seconds he was pounding into you furiously, not caring that he hadn't prepared you like he normally did.

"Aemond," you whimpered, your cunt squeezing him for dear life.

"I'm not going to last long," Aemond grunted, head resting against yours to look at you. His hips snapped into you like never before, pushing you to something you never felt before. "Gods, this cunt is gripping me so fucking much."

His cock was hitting a certain spot inside you, making you unable to speak as only whines and whimpers fell off your tongue. You felt something overtake you as your pussy clenched around him, a sensation you had never felt before as you squirted on his dick. It sent him over the edge, his cock squirting inside of you, filling you to the very brim.

Aemond collapsed on top of you, nestling his head in the crook of your neck as he relaxed.

"What was that?" You asked, not knowing what had just came out of your body.

"I don't know," Aemond said, kissing your neck. "But I liked it. Maybe we should make you do it again."

You giggled, wrapping your legs around him instinctively.

"Do what again?" Aegon questioned, peering around the bed to look at you both. He already stripped down most of his clothes, only his night pants.

"Just our wife's spectacular cunt draining me of my cum," Aemond jested, rubbing his cock up and down your folds.

"Time to move, brother." Aegon tried to push him but Aemond slapped his hand away.

"You had her all of yesterday, I think you can allow me to have her the rest of the night."

"You were more than welcome to join yesterday but you didn't so-"

"Would you both stop," you laughed, pushing Aemond up slightly. "You can share." You crawled to the end of the bed, forefinger motioning for Aegon to come to you. "Come here."

Aegon pressed his lips onto yours as you felt Aemond start to toy with your ass. You broke your kiss, biting down on your bottom lip as you looked up at Aegon seductively. You positioned yourself, back arching with your ass stuck out for Aemond and your head at the end of the bed as your hands reached out to Aegon.

"Now let me show you how proud I am of you," you whispered, pulling Aegon's cock out of his trousers.

Your licked at his head, tasting the salty pre cum there as you hummed in delight. You opened your mouth, taking him in as you started to suck on him, hand stroking the parts you couldn't manage.

Aemond positioned himself behind you, sliding into you again. The pleasure of his cock pushing into you had you moaning around Aegon's cock. Aegon moaned at the sensation, your mouth now vibrating around him.

Each time you needed breath, you'd pull away an attachment of saliva from Aegon's cock connecting to your lips. Aegon's hand gripped onto your hair for support, almost taking over as you took more of him.

"Fuck, Y/N," Aegon hissed, staring down at you completely entranced by the way you looked.

Aemond started to hit into you faster, hand reaching down between you as his fingers found your clit. He circled your sensitive nub, knowing how you'd moan out, practically screaming around Aegon's cock.

You grabbed onto Aegon's hips, taking him fully down your throat. You gagged every so slightly but never let up, allowing him to fuck your face as he thrusted himself in there.

With the feeling of your moans and the wetness of your mouth, Aegon came undone easily. His cum hitting the back of your throat as he spilt his load in your mouth. He pulled out, allowing you breath for the first time as cum dripped from your lips. He reached down using his hand to clean up your face, only to have you suck the remaining bits off of his fingers as you stared at him.

"With the way you're acting, I am going to get hard again," he admitted, pressing a soft peck to your lips.

Aemond quickened his pace, cock hitting into you unforgivingly. You were a wreck, eyes falling closed as you came undone. This time you weren't sure you could hold up, practically collapsing on the bed as Aemond held your hips up. It wasn't long before he came, his cum leaking from your hole when he pulled out.

You were exhausted, thinking you could last long. At last yesterdays antics caught up with you and you found yourself barely able to move.

Aemond pulled you up as Aegon peeled the covers up. Both of them together helped you get into bed as they slipped in beside you. Before they could say anything, you were asleep curled up in your favourite position.

And for a moment Aegon and Aemond shared a knowing look with each other, completely happy in their bliss with you. Both of them cuddling into you as they fell asleep beside you, finding solace in your warmth.

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[legitimateluffy]

I was going to touch on this in my overall thoughts of the OPLA, but then I realised I had a lot to say about it.

This, to me, might have been my favourite moment in the One Piece Live Action:

And here's why. OPLA spoilers under the cut.

Nami and her character arc are the things that got me really hooked to One Piece as a teen. I was 13 and at the time, I had no idea if I'd ever finish (at the time) a 600 episode anime. But Arlong Park cemented me in as an OP fan for the rest of my life.

Obviously the Help Me scene was the thing that really got me in for life. But as I grow, I think it was also the way Oda made each moment with each character feel small while also being grand. The small moments make this arc for me. It's complex, and purposefully so.

Throughout the arc, and even prior, Nami is built up with small throw away lines and actions. Questioning why people do things for others, her over generalisation of pirates, her belief that she has no freedom.

She's an exact opposing entity of Luffy. Luffy IS free. He's the concept of freedom. Nami, by default, is not. She not once ever felt free. Her original village was destroyed, her mother killed due to lack of money, having to work for Arlong to survive. She never had freedom.

There's cases like this all over the manga. She's materialistic due to her trauma of lacking freedom. She has to do what she has to to survive. She will put her desire for money (to save the village) FIRST. Because if she doesn't, she will never be free.

I remember this moment so clearly when I saw this for the first time, the thought ingrained into my mind. When I saw she left and abandoned the crew, I was so MAD. I couldn't express my anger. But when I saw this scene, all I could think about was "I feel so bad for her."

I didn't know what was coming, but this scene alone made me feel so sad. And I didn't even know WHY. I felt gut wrenched for her. Looking back, seeing her finally no longer have to do everything herself and allowing herself to break down and ask for help, it also struck me.

However, this moment, now as I've aged, doesn't hit just because it's a relatable feeling. Finally breaking down and getting hope after you've felt so helpless. So many people want that. I wanted that. And seeing it there in front of me hit me hard. The reason why I think this ultimately made this moment work for me was this theme of freedom. The strawhats made her feel like she was safe for even a short moment. She could forget. Nami, for the first time in her life, even for one second, WAS free. She was!

Nojiko highlights this. It's a small panel. It's less than 5 words but it highlights an important aspect of Nami's character. For one moment, she was free, and that's why leaving them hurt her so much.

Usopp describing something as normal as having fun is something we take for granted. But Nojiko knew that this was an important moment for Nami. She knows she's never been free. Remember, Nojiko & the rest of the village KNOW what Nami is doing. Her sacrifice. Her lack of freedom.

So this bring me back to OPLA. There are so many short scenes of Nami where Usopp and Luffy are just goofing around and bantering with each other. Hell, she's not even participating! She's just watching! And then the moment happens.

She laughs. She's free! This one small moment, this blink and you'll miss it scene. THAT, is pure and utter freedom. And to me, that's what One Piece is. It's freedom. Nami, for the first time in her life, is free.

This scene hit me hard, because immediately I thought to that scene with Usopp and Nojiko. Everyone behind the live action understood the core aspect and themes of One Piece. It's freedom. It's always been about freedom. That has never changed. And seeing freedom be portrayed as such a small and humane action such as LAUGHING, for all of a few seconds, really encompasses what this series is, not just to the characters, but the audience.

[thiriann]

The Ascension and the sexual implications of it

We all remember the post from a few weeks ago that circled here. I didn't go through with the Ascension from a purely game sense "this is clearly evil " standpoint. I didn't really understand why it's evil or even more why it's sexual. Some analyses have floated around here and tumblr that mentioned it's because "vampires are a sexy fantasy". Well, yes but you're getting a vampire either way, aren't you?

I didn't manage to connect the dots until I started looking into possible ways for him to walk in the sun. It seems the only reliable one is a “Wish” spell. But that seems to turn the vampire mortal again. Now, that didn't sit right with me. If Ascension was changing him, this was even more of an "I'll fix him" situation. But I thought, would he even agree? He's so power hungry probably giving up on being a vampire would be the last thing he'd agree on. But the more I thought about it, the more it became clear to me that he actually has a strong dislike for being a vampire. If you tell him his reflection is a small price to pay for vampire powers he answers "To you, maybe." He loves seeing the sun again, all the colors. He can't see or remember his eyes, which if we take into literary view, eyes being the windows to the soul we could say it shows his disconnect with his soul, with his humanity. He absolutely hates the hunger urges that come with vampirism, saying they make him pathetic and it's the worst version of himself. And of course, the sexual part. He hasn't actually seen any perks of vampirism, just that it makes you an object of desire, a thing used only for sex. That is the only side of vampirism he has managed to experience and that is what he connects it with.

The point in the story that clearly connects his vampire nature to sexuality is the talk with the blood merchant. She is a drow, her society already views men as slaves good for one thing. But she doesn't ask him for sex, she asks him for a bite yet it's just as sexual. It shows the player that vampires are sex objects yet again. But whatever is left of him, of his soul and humanity is very separated from his vampire form. He doesn't take being a vampire as an identity but separates himself from it, calling it an affliction, or condition. So why push him further into nature that he doesn't accept or enjoy?

At many points he mentions there's almost nothing left of the man he was, whatever little is left of his soul, etc. He believes he doesn't have much to offer, especially after sex is off the table. That is why it's so important to remove sex from your romantic relationship for him. While obviously, it's a time for healing, it's also a time to actually connect to the person behind the vampire. The person he used to be before he became a sex object.

And that is the same if you choose his spawn romance ending. You pick the man he managed to remain despite everything that happened. That's why his post-scene at the grave is basically a rebirth of him, of his humanity. While the romance post-scene of the Ascension is a rebirth of you. You chose to reduce him to a vampire, to an object, and even went as far as to objectify yourself as well by accepting the vampire nature. And ultimately, that's all that's left of him, the vampire. The person he was is gone completely.

I'd just like to add that a lot of people like to bring up that they let the other characters make their own choices but that's a weak point. Shadowheart's choice is very influenced by your choices/approval and let's not forget she would actually kill Lae'zel if you don't get involved, you literally have to choose if you sell Wyll's soul or not, and Lae'zel would kill you if you don't stop her.

Also, there is the argument that he wants this. And for that, I can only guess based on my speculations, that despite all the power hunger brought from whatever feelings, survival, fear, selfishness -until the very last moment he hadn't made up his mind. He even tells you this before you enter Cazador's chamber. He won't know what he'll do before he faces him. His turmoil is obvious. You can tell him this isn't him, not really. And he responds that it should be, he doesn't want to be pathetic.

The choice for the ascension never was his, as it never was for him. He himself saw no way out, just like when he was under Cazador. And the temptation that was obviously present at the idea of being just like Cazador. The choice there was for you.

For the player, whether it'd be as a lover or a friend.Do you want the man or the vampire?

[jazjelspen]

leaving on wild charted waters [pt.4]

(what if our mc got tired of Night Raven College and all it's inhabitants?)

(what if our beloved mc has...(voluntarily) been helping with decorating for the ball that will be happening in the next few days!?)

(just a “filler” chapter but it's just pure fluff and our mc having a great time with their new RSA friends + fleshing out some RSA students that I may use in future chapters/will get back to angst but as many of you know: our mc needs to be happy!

p.s Neige is actually a nice person in this series, he just doesn’t mean to come off as fake. I just wanted to write a nice version of the character for this!)

(fluff/splash of angst but it's very short)

the ball: part 1

you couldn't be more relaxed. you are currently chilling with your new friends and Rielle on the same shore you stepped your shoes in on your first day here. you all decided that after a long day of studies, activities, and fun ballroom decorating that it'd be a great idea to just relax beside the waters with everyone having each of their favorite snacks and drinks.

you and your friends were quiet since all you could all do was take in the refreshing sea air and the feeling of the breeze kissing your faces, the sound of the water sloshing and splashing also added to the calm ambience of the scene, and of course it wouldn't be complete without the screech of a seagull or the cute chirps of birds. I just can't forget to mention the same beautiful sunset that came upon your first day here also appearing in this exact moment, it really did always take your breath away. 'god, nothing could beat this view' you thought.

you noted how this time when you volunteered to help out with ballroom decorating, that no one actually ever left you on your own or ditched you. everyone did their part, some mishaps here and there, but it wasn't anything none of you could fix. you actually felt as if the work was much less with everyone actively doing their job and not slacking off or disappearing when they have the chance... these guys actually sticked by you and didn't let you down in the slightest. it was as if a splash of the freshest water just hit your face and took off a lot of stains that you had from NRC.

you all reveled in the moment until someone finally spoke up, "today was no joke." your friend, Alex Underlan, spoke in an exasperating tone as he laid with his arms and legs spread as if he's about to make a snow angel in the sand. "it felt as if this day would never end."

the next to speak was Neige Leblanc "we did take awhile to set up the decorations for the ball. thankfully we managed to finish just in time before the setting sun left!" he spoke with a smile as he looked up to see his little blue bird friends sitting comfortably on his hat. "we have to admit we did do a pretty good job on the decorating."

Chenya, an acquaintance from NRC and now very good friends with in RSA, stretched his limbs out in the sand with a loud yawn "beats me, I'm just glad that the hard part is over and we can now nap like kittens!~..."

"I agree with Neige though, we did do a pretty great job with decorating! along with the help of our fellow animal friends too it made the whole thing a bit more hectic yet fun." Rielle chirped in "I do have to admit-- Raps and _____ did an amazing job painting the ceiling and walls for the occasion! it's like those really detailed murals from waaay back then!"

Raps then replied with a bit of a sheepish smile "aww thanks Red, but obviously I wouldn't have been able to get it done in time with my favorite assistant _____ here!--" Raps shook your shoulder gently with the entire group chuckling with each other.

"hey! I'm your only assistant!" you replied with a light giggle "Raps I seriously have no idea how you're not afraid of falling from such a height-- you have immense trust in your hair." you paused " but then again i was hanging onto your hair while painting-- so I actually can tell why you have immense trust in your hair." you all just fell into a fit of laughter together in harmony at the hilarious memory of you freaking out a bit while clinging onto your friend's hair over how high you were to then feeling confident and relaxed while painting the ballroom walls and ceiling with Raps.

after you all calmed down the excitement for the ball started rising in your chest once again "honestly... i'm so excited for the ball. mostly because it's the one ball where I most likely won't have to deal with any people that have underlying personal issues that I have to deal with." you let out an almost happy sigh.

Chenya snickered, knowing well what that referenced to "nahh, no overblots here. don't remember there ever being one since I first came to this rabbit hole." he then closed his eyes as to take a light cat nap.

"me either!" chirped in Neige "but no need to fret or fear, in case an issue does come up we won't ask you to have to take care of it for us. with what you've told us you have seemed to have gone through so much already--" he spoke this next part more lowly " I should've... noticed it back when the VDC event was happening..." Neige sulked a bit but then gave you a small smile "I'm just glad you still came all this way to give RSA a chance _____!.."

"thanks Neige, that's actually... very kind of you to say." you smiled back as one of Neige's little blue birds landed on one of your knees and chirped a small song for you.. how cute and charming. "actually back then at the VDC event I honestly thought you were probably hiding under some super cute and friendly facade but turns out that it's really just you being naturally kind and well... friendly!" almost everyone either choked on their drinks or giggled, basically all collectively agreeing that everyone else thought that too in the beginning of meeting Neige at some point.

Neige paused a bit and looked at you with wide eyes and a genuinely confused smile, processing what you just said as he let out a very confused "huh?--"

"Raps Belleflowe!"

a loud interrupting and snarly voice boomed from behind the group of six, so loud it caused the little birds that rested on you and Neige to fly away! you all simultaneously turned to look at the tall and dark figure with voluminous black curls awaiting for one of you.

Raps sighed in immense disappointment as he packed up any snacks he had out back in his satchel, now looking all gloomy. "well- I'll see you guys tomorrow!.."

Chenya then turned to look his long haired friend with an almost disappointed look too "leaving so soon blondie? not staying over to grab some full grub with us?"

Raps shook his head "ahh...not today guys! maybe next time--" he was about to walk out before he quickly faced the group who all groaned in disappointment together " hey how about to make up for it I treat you all to lunch at school!" everyone still seemed disappointed yet each still gave Raps a thumbs up at his idea.

you all watched him scurry to his father who seemed to be less than pleased, almost scolding him before they both walked seemingly back to the dorms.

"I don't like Raps's dad... always gave me the heebie jeebies, keeps Raps from us outside of school-related stuff, and always gives me low scores on my biochem tests!..." Alex grumbled as he looked up at the sky.

"he is an intimidating individual.. but he seems to be very attentive to Raps and always seems to help him with all the countless hobbies he has!.." Neige tried to seem a bit positive, but he does agree with Alex on the first two things.

"a bit too attentive, I know a helicopter dad when I see one." Rielle huffed before he yawned. "well let's get a meal before we all head our separate ways and sleep like sleeping beauty."

Chenya and Alex both seemed to agree very much with this idea with how quickly they both to stood up in a weirdly comedic way.

you chuckled at this "guess we don't have to tell you two twice."

Alex laughed at your comment "you really don't!"

while the other three got up Neige gently tapped on your shoulder before you got up as well. "hey _____! if you don't mind-- could we take a photo together for my Magicam? I've posted photos with everyone except you, and I wouldn't want to leave you out!" he gave you these puppy dog eyes as he asked, you couldn't help but chuckle at this and nod.

"of course Neige, I'd love to be in your Magicam." you spoke before a bright smile grew on his face and you both set up a pose together in front of his phone's camera.

"1...2..!" and right when he was about to say three he clicked on the camera button and now he has a memory of you two! he looked over the photo "look at us! we look great!"

you nodded in agreement, genuienly impressed with how good you two looked "huh!.. we really do don't we!"

you both giggled together before a loud and sharp 'ahem!' interrupted you both. both pairs of eyes looked up to see all three of your standing friends waiting for you.

Chenya groaned "let's get going slow pokes! Im starting to mistake Alex's stomach growls to that of a lion's roar." the cat tittered before Alex gasped and punched him on the arm, not hard enough to actually hurt him.

"no they do not! fleabag.." Alex sneered.

"awwe! that hurt, blondie #2..." whined the cat.

the rest of you three lightly laughed at the scene before you as Neige and yourself got up together. once the two wrapped up their play fight you all as a group started walking to the nearest shop for a quick meal.

guess you didn't realize that with Neige posting the picture of you two later on in the day that it'd rise hell onto the campus of Night Raven College-- unbeknownst to all of you.

(really short compared to other parts but next chapter will be when the actual ball will happen and all the silly funzies stuff too. as mentioned once again this chapter and the next are basically just fluff and "filler" and to flesh out most of mc's new friends +adding sprinkles and splashes of angst here and there to at least keep it interesting!)

[gothicbarbie]

MY TOP 10 BEST BL COUPLES OF 2023

So I guess I'm a little late considering it's now 2024 in most places, but well, better late than never. I tried and failed to rank top 20 or even 10 kisses... I just couldn't remember them all or even choose... but most of my top couples have some pretty great kisses, so at least there's that! I can, however, rank my favorite BL pairings from 2023, so... let's do it! I will be ranking these from least favorite to favorite because I think it's more fun that way... Also I credited all the gif makers at the bottom but I did list the tumblr user for each specific gif underneath. If someone wants me to remove their gif, please let me know and I will so! I just wanted to pretty up the post a bit.

Also, to clarify, any couple on a show that is currently airing and not complete yet is not eligible to be on the list for 2023. Trust me, there were many I wanted to include!

Honorary Mentions:

Tinn & Gun | My School President

So, spoiler, a different GeminiFourth pairing will be on the actual top 10 so I didn't really want to include both pairings on the list, but I really did love the two of them in My School President. G/F just have such a wonderful and natural chemistry. The way they always look at each other just feels so pure and sweet. I really like pairings where one is secretly pining for the other, but Tinn/Gun also sorta had a hate/love ISH thing going for a little while. The progression of their relationship to actual boyfriends was just so fun to watch and really well done.

Dong Wook & Do Hyun | A Breeze of Love

I watched this BL so quickly that it didn't really resonate with me as well as some other series, which is why these two didn't make the top 10, however, I really enjoyed their relationship on the show. I love hate to love pairings and I found their backstory scenes really sweet as well. I also thought they had a really nice chemistry and there were some strong kissing moments for a kbl.

Jihan & Jaejun | City Boy Log

I didn't include these two on the main list for two reasons, one: the show is not over yet... i don't think? and two: this technically isn't a BL drama? IDK anymore, but regardless I love this series and this couple so dang much! I love the realness of them filming themselves and how their relationship is portrayed so subtly until their feelings just sort of emerge. They have some really wonderful and special scenes or moments together that we don't typically get on other series. I am anxious to see where the rest of the story goes and I hope the actors get another opportunity to work together. The side pairing is great too!

Top 10!

#10. Ai & Songkhram | Destiny Seeker

These two were so damn fun to watch, I really loved the hate to love thing at the start that quickly turned into love (Or I guess always sort of was???). The actors had such a great chemistry together and they had so many fun little moments and bantery scenes together. While the rest of the series felt a little flat for me, their connection continuously kept me interested.

#09. Ze Rui & Zong Yi | Kiseki Dear to Me

Honestly don't even know what to write about these two or how to explain why I like them, because there wasn't anything particularly special about their dynamic that typically draws me in, but I just really enjoyed the actors chemistry together and I really liked the progression of their relationship and how well they meshed together. Their kissing was extremely natural too.

#08. King & Eua | Bed Friend

Firstly, these two are HOT AF, and I really loved the friends with benefits storyline between these two, but more than that, we have a perfect character imo with King, who was continuously there for Eua and always trying to help him and make him understand how much he really cared. The show could be very dark at times but I love that King was always sort of the shining light for Eua.

#07. Segaski & Yoh | My Personal Weatherman

I can admit that the big draw to this show for me originally was the sexy scenes and moments, and while I do think the series could have done with some more scenery changes and better storylines, considering the time frame, I enjoyed watching the relationship between the two characters develop. It's nice to get a friends with benefits type of relationship and see how it progresses into more than that. And for a JBL it was nice to see some high heat with a happy ending.

#06. Su Yu & Wu Bi | Stay With Me

SIGH. THESE TWO. So I mean, I understand the criticism of this show and their relationship. So many things are implied but personally I felt like the end half made it pretty clear that these two were 100% a romantic couple. (just wish it was clarified when that change happened) But the progression of their relationship from hate to love was so beautiful to watch. Even if it was just a friendship it was worth it imo to see how close they got. Fair warning, the finale episode is not the best lmao, but I hope we get a second season to sort of fix it? Fingers crossed on that one.

#05. Wan & Ki Tae | Our Dating Sim

This was definitely one of the cutest BL's of the year and this couple falls into that category well too. I really loved seeing them re-connect. I love that they were old best friends (with feelings) that had a lot of issues to sort through and we saw some adorable flashback scenes as well as current scenes. I also love that they got together and were mostly happy instead of having a lot of intense drama.

#04. Li Ming & Heart | Moonlight Chicken

These two... so much to say about them and yet I don't really know where to start. Gemini and Fourth just work so well together and I felt like this duo was even deeper than in MSP. They started out on bad terms but quickly became close and I really loved the progression of their relationship and then I adored how we also got to see them together as a couple too. My favorite thing about them was how hard Li Ming worked to try to understand Heart and how he learned sign language for him and encouraged him to get to know others like him and to put himself out there. They also had such a fun banter with playful moments and scenes. It was just so damn pure and sweet to watch with no unnecessary or stupid fillery drama.

#03. Jae Won and Ji Hyun | The Eighth Sense

Something about this pairing just felt so much different than the typical KBL pairing. The show itself was so much deeper and had a more serious tone than we typically get, which was amazing. The actors nailed the roles and you could really feel the tension and longing between them right from the beginning. I loved their storyline so much and the actors seemed so comfortable together.

#02. Yamato & Kakeru | I Cannot Reach You

This was one of my favorite BL's of the year and their relationship was a huge part of it. I thought I was more into hate to love, but clearly, based on this list, that isn't always the case. There is something so sweet and adorable about best friends turned to lovers. I really love too when we see one side pining for the other, so this couple was extremely enjoyable to watch!

#01. Chen Yi & Ai Di | Kiseki Dear To Me

Good Lord these two... they had the perfect formula for my favorite type of pairing. Hate to love, drama, tension, angst, one-sided pining... it was so painful to have to wait every week for more. But god, it was worth the wait and their chemistry was just so good, their kisses were phenomenal too. Def. a memorable pair and a show I will be rewatching very soon!

THANK YOU to all these wonderful humans for making the most amazing gifs that I used in this post!

[tobiasdrake]

Thinking about redemption yesterday got me thinking about fallen heroes today, and how rare it is to see a character initially painted as a hero be driven to heinousness for legitimate reasons.

Often times, if a hero goes bad, it's because of an external force corrupting their mind. Or it's a misunderstanding and they were secretly still good all along. Or they were just having a rough day and they'll be good again in five minutes.

We rarely see get to see heroes go sour purely on their own merits. Maybe because their values weren't so benign as they'd seemed when pushed to a natural conclusion. Maybe because they expected too much of themselves or of others. Or maybe personal experience taught them to believe something else.

Whatever the case, as often as writers will attempt to examine the transformative power of better angels, we rarely get to see the transformative power of worse devils.

Which brings me to....

Sayaka Miki is a character that holds a special place in my heart, not for overcoming her flaws but for being consumed by them. She's a cautionary tale into the perils of righteousness.

I need to preface this by bringing up that the characters of Madoka Magica are children. They're irrational, judgmental, ignorant of risk, and quick to throw themselves into horrible mistakes with absolute confidence. Because they're children. That's how this works. The villain of the series is a psychological predator who feeds on the impulsivity and poor judgment of youth, grooming them into self-destruction.

The entire system of Magical Girls exists to give these children enough rope to hang themselves with and then to kick the ladder out from under them. That is the plot, with Sayaka being the primary means by which the show demonstrates the complete journey from rope to ladder.

I just. I need you to understand that even at her worst, Sayaka is a victim of predatory incentives and calculated coercions meant to cultivate her worst traits while stripping her of hopes and dreams. To drown her in mistakes she could never take back. She didn't have the life experience to know better. That's why her predator targets children.

Sayaka's rope is woven from virtuous self-image. It's not immediately apparent when we meet her, but Sayaka's fatal flaw is ego. Her moral compass is wound extremely tight, and it's only later that we realize it's wound around her neck.

Like many children, Sayaka is trying on an identity moreso than expressing her inner self. She wants to be altruistic. She wants to be selfless. She wants to be a true hero. She wants to live by nothing more than high-minded ideals, expecting no reward for her efforts (but receiving it all the same).

She wants to be the kind of person that Mami was.

But she has no idea who Mami was. She wasn't there to see Mami fracture. To see her break down in vulnerability and express the isolating misery she lives in.

Sayaka didn't see that. She only saw how cool Mami looked when she was killing Witches. So when she tries on an identity, she's specifically trying on the identity of Mami - blissfully unaware that her interpretation of Mami was nothing but a mask. She is emulating the behavior of a victim already consumed by the predatory incentives she's accepting.

Sayaka was doomed from the moment she made her wish.

Once again, the show does a brilliant job of concealing this at first. Right off the bat, it's easy for Sayaka to be the hero. She saves both her BFFs Madoka and Hitomi from a Witch in her debut adventure, before being immediately thrust into a moral argument that's super easy for her to win.

This is what a hero looks like! Should we stand by and let monsters eat people YES/NO

Sayaka says no. Sayaka says letting monsters eat people is bad. Solid Bioware-level moral dilemma she's got here. Sayaka won +10 Paragon points for the choices she picked out of this conversation tree, lemme tell you!

Moments like this work to disguise what's going on here with Sayaka. Obviously Sayaka's making good choices and doing the right thing when the alternative is Kyoko going "Want me to break your crush's limbs so he needs you for life support?" That's awful, so since Sayaka's against it then that means she must be right. Right?

Kyoko is the devil. Sayaka is the paragon.

But this is a story about nuanced and complex people. Sayaka isn't that person. Sayaka likes the idea of being that person. She's being dishonest - With herself, with others around her, and with the universe.

She's trying on an identity, not fully understanding who she really is or what her limitations are.

Incidentally, so is Kyoko, which is what makes their Yin and Yang dichotomy so potent. Having never been tested like this before, Sayaka is more selfish than she truly understands - While Kyoko, damaged by trauma, is more selfless than she wants to believe.

The thing Sayaka doesn't quite grasp is that, to an extent, it's okay to be selfish. It's okay to want things for yourself. Again, the identity she's trying to live up to was a lie to begin with. She only saw the mask; Never the humanity underneath. So she fails to recognize her own humanity; Her own needs and wants and desires.

She imprisons her own mind in a cage of altruism.

Sayaka is warned multiple times against spending her wish on another person. But she doesn't understand the perils of it. She lacks the necessary perspective to grasp the level of sacrifice she's making. (Because she is a child. I cannot stress this point enough.)

When she makes her wish, Sayaka wants her sacrifice reciprocated. She wants to be rewarded. But she doesn't want to want that. She wants to be the selfless hero for Kyosuke. To silently grant him a miracle because it's the right thing to do for her friend. But she expects, without consciously thinking about it, that the universe will deliver her nice things because she is good.

But life doesn't work like that. It doesn't give you things you aren't willing to reach for. Sayaka said she just wanted him to be happy. She just wanted to help people. She just wanted to dedicate her life to virtue and altruism, with no wants or needs or desires of her own.

Kyoko was being cruel and unfeeling when she suggested crippling Kyosuke; She was trying to express a mask of selfishness, the same way Sayaka's been trying to express a mask of selflessness. But she wasn't the only person telling Sayaka that it was a mistake to do this. She's just the only person who said it after the fact.

So the universe calls her bluff. While Sayaka waits for her sacrifices to be rewarded, fracturing more and more from learning what those sacrifices truly entail, someone else claims her prize. The work gets harder, not just physically but emotionally. And she only gets what she asked for. Nothing more.

This is what a hero looks like. She wanted to be Mami.

Remind me. What was Mami's reward for her sacrifices?

Oh. Yeah. That's right.

The thing of it is, there is a reward for a Magical Girl's sacrifices. There is a prize you're meant to receive for the unjust hardships and self-destruction that you're volunteering to undertake.

It's the fucking wish.

That she, in her righteousness, gave away.

Sayaka's rope is woven from virtuous self-image. Her fatal flaw is ego. She was undone by arrogance expressed in ignorance, not of glory the way we often think of egotistic people, but of righteousness. She held herself to a standard no reasonable person could ever live up to, and it crushed her as it came crashing down.

And yet, she was a victim all the same. Because she was walked, hand-in-hand, to that pier by a predator. Children are meant to learn from their mistakes. Not to die for them.

[bonesxbows]

Colors of the Underdark (Astarion x Reader)

My Masterlist

A trip to the Underdark goes south and you're left with no light source. Your human eyes become useless and you start to panic. You're terrified of the dark and there's nothing but darkness around you down here. Astarion can tell and can actually see you start to panic. He tries his best to comfort you.

-WARNINGS- Descriptions of the dark Descriptions of fear Anxious feelings Descriptions of a panic attack

I'm still trying to get a sense of writing his character, this is my first attempt so pls be nice if it's bad. This was also written over the course of a couple of days so sorry if it's a bit choppy. The idea came from the fact that humans are like one of the few species that don't have dark vision. I'm also afraid of the dark so it's a tad self-indulgent lol. Hopefully, you still enjoy it, reblogs are much appreciated :)

-

A sudden gust of wind blew your burning torch to mere embers, encasing you and your party in pure and utter darkness. The only source of light anywhere around was the few glowing mushrooms miles away, but the only thing they did was remind you of the cavern system that surrounded you, threatening to suffocate you at a moment's notice.

“Fuck…fuck!” You screamed, your heart immediately beginning to sputter and race.

“Relax darling, it's just a little darkness, nothing to worry over.” His voice was relaxed, calm, collected, and in control. Every emotion opposite of what you were feeling.

“Relax?! Are you insane? We need to get out of here, now!” Your voice was laced with panic and you were beginning to hyperventilate.

“Are they okay?” You could hear Gale ask, although the answer he was looking for was very much apparent. Astarion was starting to worry, though we didn’t let the others see. He didn't answer Gale and instead barked an order.

“Set up camp, we’ll stay here for the time being.” He told him.

“But-”

“It's not up for debate and I didn't ask for your opinion nor your advice. Go.”

Gale scoffed but did as he was told and Shadowheart followed him without any comment. You were now on your knees scratching the head of your torch on the rocky ground, desperately trying to spark it alight again. As soon as Gale and Shadowheart were out of earshot Astarion kneeled next to you and his confident exterior fell away to sadness. The sight of you being so scared and desperate broke his heart. Of course, he could see every detail around him easily, even the crease of your brow as you concentrated on your futile task. He couldn’t imagine what your perspective as a human was like; was it pure pitch black? Could you still see the outlines of your surroundings? Did you even sense him near you? Trying to put himself in your shoes reminded him of his punishment of being locked inside that mausoleum so many years ago and he hated that feeling. Most of all he hated the idea of you experiencing that same amount of fear.

“Darling? Can you look at me?” He asked you in a soft voice. You didn't reply and he could now see tears start to flood your face. His frown deepened and so he reached forward and grabbed the torch out of your hands before you started to scrape the tips of your fingers raw. Your fingernails were already suffering from the constant friction. You practically jumped out of your skin from his unexpected interference. “I'm sorry my sweet but you're starting to hurt yourself. This torch is beyond dead anyway, beating it against the ground won't do you any good.” He tossed it aside and both of you could hear the wood bounce against the stone ground with a hollow clunk. You stared right at him, whether you realized you were doing so or not, and your face tore a new hole in his undead heart; you were seriously frightened, tears stained your face, and your eyes took no hesitation in replacing them with fresh ones. You were visibly shaking and you were constantly blinking, no doubt trying to find any sense of purchase of your surroundings.

“Astarion…”

“Yes?”

“I can't see you.”

“I know darling.”

“I'm afraid of the dark.”

You spoke in whispers, he almost didn't hear your confession. For once he was glad you couldn't see him, his first reaction was shock and it showed on his face. You were so fearless in battle, nothing scared you then, and you were always so confident in your actions, nothing like the person in front of him now. How could someone like you be so afraid of something so non-threatening? You continued to stare at him, tears still streaming down your face. He could hear your heartbeat start to speed up even faster.

“Astarion…? Are you…are you still there?” Your voice was scratchy from fear. His eyes widened as he realized what he had inadvertently done; his delay in response had given you the impression that he had gotten up and left you all alone. He quickly remedied his mistake by reaching out and grasping your hands in his, again making you jump out of your skin from the sudden unexpected contact. He silently cursed himself for scaring you again, he'd get better at this one day he promised himself, but immediately your heart began to calm down slightly from his cool touch.

“I'm here my sweet, I won't leave you.” You breathed a sigh of relief and you let go of one of his hands, fumbling it around to find his shoulder. He stayed still, letting you find him through touch and letting you get a sense of your surroundings by comparing your location to his. He wanted to laugh, your hand movements were adorable, like a puppy using its nose to find food, but he held his tongue. He didn't want to make this moment any more uncomfortable for you than it already was. It took you a minute but eventually, you grasped his shoulder.

“Can I…can I come closer?” You asked. He couldn't help but smile at your timid question. You were still shaking with fear but yet you still remembered to ask before touching him in any intimate way.

“Oh, my love…how could I say no to you? Come here, I’ll help you.” As you began to scoot closer to him he moved his hands to your upper arms to guide you, pulling you in the right direction towards him. You fumbled a bit but he helped you settle in his lap, nestled in between his legs with his arms wrapped around you. You were facing away from him, but you didn't mind this time, you couldn't see his face anyway regardless in the darkness. You could sense his arms around your waist and you could feel his cold hands on your stomach even through your armor. Your surroundings were still nothing but pitch black from your perspective, but the feeling of his body pressed up against yours helped start to calm your frazzled nerves. You couldn't see him, you couldn't see anything, but you knew you were safe with him. He was being your eyes and he would protect you when you couldn't protect yourself. You leaned back into him and he tightened his arms around you, giving you a reassuring squeeze.

“You're safe with me darling. The darkness can’t hurt you.” He whispered into your ear. The trust you had built with each other was enough for you to let yourself believe him. Your body had started to return to normal, your breathing was becoming even and your heart rate was turning into a steady rhythm.

“Where are the others?” you asked. You had no sense if they were even still around, you still couldn't see anything and you couldn't hear them either, but you assumed Astarion could.

“Don't worry your sweet little head about them, they're alright.” As soon as he finished his sentence a faint orange glow lit up the nearby area. You had stayed as still as possible so far but your head whipped in the direction of the new source of light as soon as it appeared. Your hair brushed against Astarion’s face aggressively when you turned, but he was too relieved to mind. He could feel the tension melt from your body. He watched as you forcefully blinked, adjusting your eyes from the pitch darkness to the now faint light. The rest of the party had finally sparked the campfire and they were now preoccupied with trying to roast something over it. You turned back to Astarion and caught the slightest hint of a smile on his face.

“Are you alright? Better now with the light?” he asked, moving one of his hands to push a strand of your hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear. You nodded, grateful he had stayed with you.

“Can I…um…” your words were failing you again but you glanced down at his lips and he understood. His smile grew a little wider.

“Of course my love.”

You were quick. He barely had time to react before the force of you sent you both tumbling backward. Your lips crashed into his and your hands grasped his shoulders, holding on to him like a lifeforce. Once he had balanced the two of you again he gently grabbed your face, deepening the kiss and teasingly nicking your bottom lip with his fangs. You retreated after he did so, but you were smiling. You placed your forehead against his and stared into those ruby eyes you loved. He returned the same look of admiration and love.

“Thank you,” you told him. He pecked your lips again.

“You don't always need me to protect you, but I most certainly will whenever I can. Nothing will harm you while I'm around. Not here in the Underdark, nor anywhere else. I love you too much to let anything happen to you.”

[sillysillygoofygoose]

Miguel is the type of man who loves a strong woman.

He loves a woman who will put him in his place when he deserves it. A woman who will throw the "hard to get" act right back at him. A sarcastic, sassy, but sweet woman. A woman who's not intimidated by his brooding facade. A confident woman.

A woman, not a girl.

He loves a woman who knows what she wants and knows how to effectively get her point across. An assertive, emotionally thorough, and grounded woman.

You take a deep inhale, realizing how much the situation has escalated during the past five minutes of back and forth nothings.

"Miguel, I feel like this is counterproductive. Let's just sit down and talk, okay?" Your calm, steady voice immediately eases half of the tension in the room, just like that. He shook his head in agreement, almost as if to rid of the hostile thoughts that were slowly building a crooked wall at the forefront of his mind.

"It really upsets me when you prioritize work over our relationship. I know it's important to you, but you're important to me. I just want us to have more time together. How can we compromise?" You state your feelings and hopes, laying out the option for Miguel to vocalize his as you look him right in the eye.

Miguel never realized how much his previous relationships or flings lacked solid communication until that moment. You didn't have to yell or pout to make him get the message. Your deliberate words stood just as strong as screams. No. Stronger.

The ability to stand up for yourself, what you want, and what you believe in without being purposefully disagreeable and difficult is one you possess. You can stand on your own two feet without anyone supporting you. You believe in yourself. And it's so attractive to Miguel.

Something that makes you so womanly is your ability to be gentle and caring... maternal. Being bold and strong-willed often has people leaping to the conclusion that you're a heartless bitch. But that couldn't be further from the truth. You're just authoritative. But you know how to be soft and understanding. You're a beautiful balance.

Intelligence. What could be more powerful than intelligence? Though, you're not just book smart... you're people smart. You know how to communicate, how to start and hold a conversation. So goddamn sexy...

Just as much as you know what you want in life, you know what you want in bed. Miguel is more than happy to fulfill your every command.

How he eats you out, how fast he should thrust... even how many hickies he's allowed to leave on your chest. You're playful and feisty, sex often leading to a pure fight for dominance.

But you're just so beautiful. A warm and welcoming character shielded by a powerful aura, all laid out for him. His woman.

His woman with a grown body. Hip dips, cellulite, stretch marks, with hair protecting your most feminine parts.

Miguel is not one to be scared off by broad shoulders or a strong frame because you're a woman. A grown, strong woman.

His strong woman.

Hope you enjoyed! Xoxo

*Don't get me wrong, I love a dominant Miguel making a stuttering slut out of a pretty, shy girl... buutttt I think he has a soft spot for outspoken, foxy women 🤭*