#and sometimes hes into that! and not necessarily in the specific Misgendering way but just. in the regular way. like a cis guy might be. yk

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

Sorry. I meant cis ted.  I would never baby girls transman that would be offensive.

???? yeah i mean. i kind of figured you probably meant cis ted, i was saying I got distracted on the topic of feminization kink. also i mean. yeah it CAN be offensive but i was talking about how me, as a trans man, enjoys feminization kink on a trans male/transmasc character (in this case trent, sorry) bc i project a lot😩 and it's fun specifically because of the inherent contradictory na--i mean i did explain this? didn't i? i. sorry??

[aropride]

i like[1] this website because a joke post u made in 3 seconds[2] vaguely complaining about something that does not matter[3] will get 15k notes in a matter of days and then people will misinterpret it in wild & unpredictable & cynical ways possible. Like before responding in a hostile manner to a post maybe stop[4] and go "is it possible that op did not set out to make a post commenting in a serious manner about a serious problem"[5] "is it possible that op did not sit down before posting to ensure that there is no possible way their[6] post could be read in a bad light"[7] "am i picking up on an implication that is actually there or are my own life experiences informing my view of this post in a way that may not be accurate"[8] etc. like would it kill[9] people to be a little less quick to lash out when it is fully possible they may be misunderstanding something[10]

---

[1] this is sarcasm, i do not like when people do this.

[2] this is an exaggeration, it often takes more than three seconds to type a post.

[3] sometimes a post may be complaining about something that Does matter. this post is not claiming that most or all posts are about something that does not matter. likewise, the idea that something "doesn't matter" has been used to downplay the struggles of marginalized communities, and some things online do, in fact, matter. this post, however, is about shit that does not matter

[4] OP is not insisting you do this. there is no manipulation, coercion, or violation of consent; you are not forced to do anything you don't want to to. you are not being silenced or censored.

[5] the original poster may have meant to make a silly post about a serious issue, or a silly post about a silly issue. oftentimes, posts are not meant to be all-encompassing thesis statements on broad social issues addressing all the possible pitfalls of a certain argument as well as what lends credence to it

[6] the use of the neutral pronoun "they" in this sentence is due to its reference to a hypothetical person or group of people rather than any specific individual who may or may not use they/them pronouns. it is not an attempt to actively misgender or degender anybody. for further clarity, OP is fully supportive of trans and nonbinary people and is in fact a member of the trans community

[7] while OP has ocd, it seems an unnecessary addition to this post, but he has noticed a trend of general anxiety-related behaviors being attributed to ocd when that is not necessarily the cause of such behaviors. he therefore finds it worth saying that people without ocd who have been on tumblr for a long time are also prone to this behavior, as being misinterpreted is incredibly common online, and does not necessarily indicate the presence of obsessive-compulsive disorder. i.e., sometimes people just worry about stuff

[8] accurate meaning, here, accurate to the intent of the original poster. it is not meant to state that a person's emotions about a post are "wrong" or that they are misinterpreting their own feelings. additionally, it is reasonable that a person's experiences would influence their view of the world; it is equally reasonable to expect them to think before being aggressive towards strangers online

[9] this is a turn of phrase, not meant to state that any lives will actually be ended by this action. this footnote is also not meant to imply anything negative about those who experience anxiety around the concept of death

[10] OP is relinquishing himself from the responsibility[11] of this post[12]. if it gains sentience and runs off to colorado to rob a bank and go on a killing spree that is not his fault

[11] whether or not a person can truly be relinquished from the consequences of any of their actions is a matter of debate irrelevant to this post

[12] OP is aware that this post opens him up to receiving many identical and increasingly unfunny comments intentionally misconstruing his words or intentions. he is nicely asking you not to do that because it's very exhausting

[scriptlgbt]

Hi there,

I’ve gotten some negative feedback recently on how I’m handling a currently in denial, soon to be in the closet, and in the future out, trans side character and I was hoping I could get some advice.

The character in question is a trans girl, but right now in the story he insists to himself that he’s a boy, and so he still uses his birth name and he/him pronouns for himself. And because no one else in it knows about what’s going on with him internally they all just assume he’s cis and refer to him as a boy.

The problem I’ve been having is that I refer to him with the above when I discuss him outside of the story. But I’ve had writer friends tell me that it’s going to come off as transphobic in the long run, even though I plan to switch it up once the character comes out to at least one other character and starts using she/her, a preferred name, and referring to herself as a girl.

I’ve explained to them that even though the character is a girl, that’s not how they currently identify, so it’s technically misgendering and forcing someone into a role that they aren’t comfortable with yet (this might be where I’m humanizing the character a bit too much), but that hasn’t convinced them.

And I’ve also explained that I want to keep their self-discovery on the down-low for narrative reasons (but not completely in the background), it’s not going to be a massive, shocking reveal that no one saw coming, but I do want it to lean in the direction of “anyone can be trans, even people you wouldn’t immediately expect,” and especially because I’ve gotten that reaction when talking about this character in particular. But I’ve been told that I’m still leading on readers because I’m not being honest about the character’s internal struggles and still framing the character as a cis boy until I pull the rug out from under them with the reveal.

(To add, I have more trans characters and the pair are some of the POV characters, they’re not stereotypes but right off the bat the reader knows they’re trans because they mention it, and I’m agender myself.)

I agree with the criticism you've received, personally.

The fact that you as an author are using these pronouns for the character when communicating to me, does feel indicative of a larger problem. You describe this character as being "in denial" yet still seem to want to say that the character identifies as a boy. These are two somewhat different ways of relating to a past. There are many trans people who will say things like, "when I was a boy" etc, but generally they do not necessarily see those periods as being in denial, so much as a genuine identification with that gender at the time. Many people also have fluid identities, or may be a trans woman who just happens to like the way he/him sounds, or maybe just doesn't care about pronouns. But the way that you are going about this doesn't really read to me like it's aligning with an intention to understand and represent an authentic trans experience. You are an author with the omniscient level of understanding of your story and characters, and it feels gross to not use that to respect a trans character's identity as you know it. It seems weird that you would want to rep this like self-discovery of an identity that was felt the whole time, but still want to rep this like a fluidity approach where you're referring to the character as though you yourself are another character in this story. Also, the egg experience sometimes includes signs. Sometimes it doesn't, but sometimes it does.

If it is your specific trans experience, as an openly trans author, to experience this simultaneous fluidity and also having identified a given way all along without realizing it, that is a different matter. You'd be writing from your own experience, and the readers would know that you were being authentic and not just looking for an excuse to misgender a character.

When writing about trans characters before they are out, you need to understand and respect your trans audience members, and the way you write your trans characters will be something that some people will go back and re-read and maybe have to process their feelings about.

What might writing this (a character coming out partway through a story) look like? Maybe it's having the story written in the distant past, or through flashbacks. What kind of narration are you using? Third person? Whose point of view? Is this a major character, or a minor character mentioned a couple times? Is there a way to make information clear to the audience and utilize dramatic irony?

Also, WHY does this need to be framed as a surprise or plot twist? What indicators are you having of the character being in egg mode (if applicable)? How are you handling this character with care and seeking to represent trans people as we feel represented by?

I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver did a great job of showing the first scene as being the point where a traumatic coming out had already happened, and the audience read what happened in the coming chapters. This is also a great way to frame coming out to the audience.

Think about it this way: if someone puts down your book and talks about the character, they need to be gendered correctly by that audience. You as an author are already being really weird about that. (I'm open to other trans followers feeling differently about this and sharing their thoughts in the replies/reblogs.)

We also have a whole Closeted Characters tag, a Coming Out: To The Reader Tag, among others.

This post also includes us (ScriptLGBT) asking trans folks their feelings on the topic of writing trans characters before they are out.

Just personally, I feel really weird about the way you're writing this and talking about this and I think you're punching above your weight class in terms of trying to represent this specific kind of trans experience. I would either just not do it this way, or heavily change what you're doing.

The books of Tess of the Road by Rachel Hartman (I believe In The Serpent's Wake had this part) include a character called Spira, who is intersex and who uses they/them until the end of one of the books where Spira is offered the chance to try on other pronouns, where Spira opts to try on she/her as an experiment. The POV (from what I can recall) was third person limited, with a bit of a revolving point of view, and this scene is told through a different character's point of view. The narration changes at this point, but I feel like that's done really well because it's seen as just kind of a surface level trying-on-as-an-experiment thing, and that they/them were also very much accurate pronouns, and she/her isn't necessarily representative of womanhood, so much as pronouns themselves.

Honestly I may need to percolate on this one a bit more, but these are all my initial impressions of your approach as a trans person.

mod nat

[saintjosie]

As a performer, and someone who regularly has good things to say, how have you dealt with your singing voice? I'm nonbinary, and sometimes hate how deep my voice is because it's one of the predominant reasons people misgender me. It keeps me from singing sometimes as well, even privately to songs I've loved forever (I did perform "Under the Bridge" by RHCP at a public karaoke event last year, but I can't bring myself to watch the recording of it even though everyone applauded) I guess it's a specific kind of dysphoria?

I know when it comes to voice training you've been very vocal (pun intended) about it being a choice. And I've had some voice training but as an enby I prefer my speaking voice to be either neutral or natural. But talking and singing are kinda different, so I'm just curious to get your take on feeling more confident and less bothered singing as a trans person?

when i was a kid my dad told me i sucked at singing. he was a singer and a guitar player and i looked up to him so i internalized that deeply. but i didn’t stop singing because i just loved it. it felt good to sing. i would sing along to all the disney movies. i would sing songs at church. i was that little kid who was always humming something everywhere i went because i loved music and i loved making music. i didn’t think anyone would care to hear me sing because i had been told that my singing didn’t sound good but nothing in the world was gonna stop me from enjoying it for myself.

eventually as i got older people started telling me that i actually was pretty good at it. i didn’t necessarily believe them but i at least heard it from someone else. and then i tried recording myself singing into the shitty microphone that laptops had back in 2007. and wow, it sucked. like it reaaaaally sucked. it sucked to hear myself cause i had never heard myself recorded before. it sucked to hate what i hear and feel like maybe my dad was right the whole time. and i closed the laptop and cried and went to bed.

but then the next time i opened my laptop, the recording was still there. and i realized that i had listened through about 1/4th of it before i had lost hope and on a whim, i decided to grit my teeth and listen through the whole thing. and almost all of it still sucked. BUT. for one brief moment, for only a line or two, i heard what i wanted to hear: a voice that sounded good to my ears, recorded through the shitty microphone, played through the shitty speakers.

and from that moment on, i knew that i was going to learn to sing because nothing in my life so far had compared to how i felt hearing myself for the first time sing in the way that i wanted to.

it’s been 17 years since that happened and i haven’t stopped singing because i just fuckin love it. there’s music in my soul and it’s gonna come out whether or not i want it to and whether or not it sounds good.

“but josie, this is about your love for music not about gender” no it’s about both.

when you realized that you could express your gender in the way that you already knew you felt inside, you knew it was right and you decided you were gonna fucking do it, damn whatever people say.

and that’s the thing about dysphoria and why people have such a hard time describing it to each other. dysphoria comes from when you feel like the way your gender is perceived doesn’t line up with how you want to be perceived. when i have dysphoria, it’s not because i don’t look like a woman to the people who look at me, it’s because of how i see myself.

present your gender however you want and do it for yourself. and sing your goddamn heart out because you want to. damn whatever people say.

[dol-dogboy]

Nsfw ask meme this time!! Ft. Percy, Bowie, and Damon <3

After doing the sfw ask meme I knew I had to do this one too, so yeag :)

-> warning for typical DoL themes, I forgot what exactly though because this shit got so long I forgot what I wrote whoops!

1. What’s their position in bed? (top, bottom, vers, sub, dom, etc.)

Percy:

Dominant top!! They are a megalomaniac through and through, he needs to be the one in total control during sex at all times— if he ever does bottom then it’s in a ‘bottoming from the top’ sort of way…

… Unless they’re in heat. That’s the ONLY time they’ll ever sub for Anyone and even then he’s bitching about it the whole time

Bowie:

Submissive top leaning switch, likes bottoming and topping equally but. Well. People see his dick and are like I GOTTA have a piece of that

Damon:

Vers switch, leans dominant in most encounters though since he used to be wholly submissive all the time. Making up for lost time yknow??? True submission from him nowadays is very difficult to experience, unless he’s in a vulnerable mood with someone he trusts deeply

2. What turns them on/off?

Hooo boy lessee, turn ons subject to change my memory is shit sooo just consider this a blanket vibes list, might do a more in depth posts abt their kinks at a later date wink wink nudge nudge

Percy:

✅: Sadism (ofc), Knifeplay, Fearplay, Bloodplay, Dacryphilia, Humiliation (giving), Voyeurism, Predator/Prey, Stepping, Kicking, Biting, I’m just gonna start listing acts of violence by accident but well I mean it’s accurate—, Enjoys being worshipped

🚫: Pretty much take most of their turn ons except make it done to them that’s their turn offs, also feminization/misgendering/etc, that’s a one way street to getting him to despise you

Bowie:

✅: Humiliation (receiving), Praise, Degradation, Size difference, Groping, Orgasm denial, Voyeurism/Exhibitionism, Overstimulation, Cumplay, Breeding, Pregnancy (<- sooo embarrassed by this esp with partners that don’t want kids 😭)

🚫: Having his arms specifically pinned or tied up freaks him out, degradation/humiliation that veers into a genuinely mean territory

Damon:

✅: Humiliation (giving), Bondage, Dacryphilia, Intoxication (all kinds <3), Voyeurism/Exhibitionism, Biting/Marking, Collars, Petplay (to a point), Overstimulation, Size Difference, Marathon sex, Dumbification, Somnophilia, Tentacles, Corruption kink but it makes him feel guilty, Roleplay except he does Not take it seriously and he’s giggly the whole time, Gap moe <3

🚫: Hypnotism. Used to like it but shit happens and now it’s just an annoyance (could maybe be convinced to try it out again in the far future though), also something that doesn’t necessarily make him flaccid but does really take him out of sex is calling him stuff like ‘pet’, (dog related stuff is fine!) ‘doll’, ‘toy’, etc

Universal 🚫: Daddy/mommy stuff, any sort of -cestplay really, Piss/Scat/etc., Bestiality ig they probably never ponder the idea of that ever happening since I have it turned off, for a game about being raped none of them really like that very much 😔

3. How long does it take for them to climax?

Percy:

A While. Perks of having a low libido, since that just means he can hurt you longer <3

Cums stupidly fast during his heats and it humiliates him

Bowie:

It depends? Usually very fast though, if he’s trying his veryyyyy best to be a good boy and not cum without permission then he will try his damndest to only cum when he’s told to (with mixed results, he’s just so sensitive <\3)

Damon:

Another depends!! Sometimes he’ll draw things out to be a tease, but he also cums faster when he’s intoxicated, so it rly depends on the scene and setting tbh

4. Most sensitive part(s) of their body?

Percy:

… Their cunt, to their own chagrin. Being inside them brings out things during sex that Percy would Never show otherwise

Bowie:

His boobs and his dick (probably has something to do with the underground farms gel thing), can ABSOLUTELY cum solely from having his boobs played with

Damon:

Made his nipples hypersensitive when I started up his save bc hehe <3, messing with them is the easiest way to get him worked up he Will jump you if you tweak them a bunch

5. Easiest way to seduce them?

Percy:

Cry when he beats you. Like full blown bawling, he wants it to be as ugly and raw as possible— for more of a slowburn he just likes meekness in general

Bowie:

Emphasize your chest around him, whether that be by wearing a low cut top, going into positions where he sees as much of your chest as possible, etc. Doesn’t matter how little boob you have his eyes are going as wide as saucers

Damon:

Loves a fellow tease <3 being able to fall into a back and forth of flirting is just so fun to him, it certainly endears you to him pretty fast— also, for more hyper specific scenarios, someone who is usually more stern or serious either softening or perking up when they see him gets him throbbing INSTANTLY (gap moe fetish 😔)

6. How often do they masturbate?

Percy:

Maybe once a week? Two sometimes? Just ain’t a high priority for them

Bowie:

Well! Well. Well…. Every day. Multiple times a day. Especially if he hasn’t gotten milked in a while then he’ll spend like an hour just milking and cumming, He Hates It

Damon:

Not a lot, maybe once a week. Whenever he wants to inflict psychic damage on a partner/situationship. Sorry losers he’s actually out laying pipe and getting bitches

7. What’s their favorite position?

Percy:

Scissoring or any position similar to it, generally likes having either one or both of his partners legs over his shoulders so he can see how far they can be pushed down before they start saying that it hurts (gets a little disappointed if they’re very flexible)

Bowie:

Any position where he’s being ridden, and if he’s being penetrated then hm…. Whatever position requires the least amount of flexibility, I’d say push his face into the bed but then you wouldn’t be able to see his pretty tears :(

Damon:

How can he choose a favorite when they’re all so beautiful…. Supposes that he does have a special fondness for doggy style, either way <3

8. How did they lose their virginity?

Percy:

Forest. Black box for Landry. Two guys showed up. They’d really rather not think about it too hard

Bowie:

First punishment for not paying Bailey, some dogboys in an alleyway… there’s a reason he doesn’t like his arms pinned

Damon:

He forgor (said in a very serious tone)

9. Favorite place to have sex?

Percy:

Has a fondness for floor sex of any kind anywhere, though if he’s actually involved in sex (and not just like. Beating the shit out of you) then he wants it in private

Bowie:

If asked he would say in the bedroom, but that 6/6 exhibitionism stat says otherwise !!!

Damon:

That prayer room is his favorite room that has ever existed

10. Ever been caught having sex or masturbating?

Percy:

No, since technically beating people up isn’t sex

Bowie:

Yeah . Technically not masturbating but the amount of times he’s came in public Haunts Him

Damon:

Probably, not like he cares though lmaoooooooo

11. Are they loud or quiet?

Percy:

Quiet in terms of noises but they are a YAPPERRRRRR they cannot shut the fuck up about how much you suck when you have sex with them. During their heats though???? Has to make an active effort to not start whining and whimpering at the slightest touch

Bowie:

Crying, sobbing, whimpering, moaning like a porn star, whining, begging— I think you get the idea you Will have to manually shut him up yourself

Damon:

Another fuckin’ yapperrrr he refuses to shut up during sex, teasing and degrading and praising constantly, with certain partners he’s certainly trying to challenge them to shut him up. In terms of noises he’s actually pretty quiet, mostly just shaky breaths and groans, though he absolutely can be louder if you’re into that <3

12. Do they own any sex toys?

Percy:

Heavy are the hips that wear the strap. Also mostly has toys for sexual torture reasons, also an emergency dildo for himself cause sometimes fingers ain’t enough

Bowie:

Breast pumps for the milkers, sheepishly bought Alex a strap once, vibrator for when he’s gotta get those cream buns MADE!!!

Damon:

I can’t make an itemized list of sex toys when my brain is at half mast but yes he has a lot, primarily collars and ropes are his favorites, but he does have some hands on toys for enhancing sex— and since you can buy them at the sex shop in game I’ll include the fact that he Always has aphrodisiacs on him. Sometimes he just pops em for goofs

13. Do they prefer giving or receiving?

Percy:

Both? Giving in terms of pain and generally being in control, receiving in terms of you lapping at his cunt or licking his boots, as he rightfully deserves in his mind

Bowie:

Receiving lmao he can be a lil bit of a pillow princess at times, if you Tell Him to put in some more effort then he will though

Damon:

No preference <3

14. How often do they have sex?

Percy:

Depends on who they’re with really, Kylar is pretty needy but even then it’s only like… twice a week. Beating people up is a near daily thing however and that’s even better than sex so—

Bowie:

Also depends on who he’s with !! There was a while there where he and Alex were having daily creampies happen so truly he can go daily. Even multiple times a day. Please

Damon:

Every day as per the tf lifestyle, sometimes he can just legitimately forget and get seared with holy light at night though. And yet he never learns 😔

15. Their biggest sexual desire?

Ask vers here !

Percy:

To have someone completely at his mercy, bleeding and crying because of the pain HE inflicted. To be wholly in control of the situation, to have someone’s life held solely in his hands…. Yeah they’re pretty normal about that

Bowie:

He wants to get teased and denied so much he’s writhing and crying in overstimulation, particularly with his sexual partner sitting above him, only juuust barely brushing against his dick— biggest desire is getting his ass bullied basically!! But then being pampered even though he’s the one that just rearranged his partners guts

Damon:

That would be like choosing a favorite child for him… maybe it’s flustering and embarrassing someone who’s usually all big and strong? Orrr being hopped up on aphrodisiacs so every touch feels ten times more intense? Super long marathon sex until someone passes out? So many decisions…….. or maybe it’s that he wants to be intimately held and loved and finally be able to trust someone with his full submission but he’s shovin’ THAT one down into the deepest pits of his mind!!!

16. What’s the best term to describe your OC sexually?

Percy:

Vengeful Sadist, the game really hit the mark with that one

Bowie:

Crybaby sub

Damon:

Boytoy except he isn’t fully jiving with it

17. Their bra or dick size?

I do not know the sizes of bras or dicks at a glance but yknow. I’ll try my best !

Percy:

‘Budding’ itty bitty boobs. I’m talking those cute lil mosquito bite boobs (they would hate if you pinched their boobs but I personally am advocating for pinching their boobs pls). They got clitoromegaly so their clit is a lil smaller than the size of a thumb, I’d say 2 inches or so long??

Bowie:

Enormous boobs and dick, boobs are big enough to have serious heft when held, dicks big enough to make you go “oh their poor hole…” about whoever he’s fucking. It’s definitely bordering on a foot

Damon:

Flat chest, large dick, he takes dick enhancement pills because he thinks it’s funny. His dick is far more manageable than Bowie’s but still big ! Six inches maybe? Bigger? Idk

18. What do they think about when they masturbate?

Ask vers here !

Percy:

They don’t masturbate very often, but whenever they DO it’s usually after they just got worked up beating someone up… so usually he’s just thinking back on how absolutely helpless they looked, the blood dripping down their face, etc etc

Bowie:

A lot of things really, but the biggest one is just… imagining someone’s body, particularly their chest, just playing that visual over and over in his head makes him so insanely horny. He’s the most likely to jack it over porn mags out of the trio

Damon:

Surprisingly doesn’t jack off as much as you’d think, after all he can just go out and fuck someone whenever he wants to……. He does like stealing fuckbuddies/partners clothes and jacking off while wearing em though, for ultra pervert points, plus it always get a very.. fun reaction out of whoever he does it to when they find out <3

19. What’s their sexual orientation?

When told the definitions for certain orientations, the only one who would choose to label himself is Bowie, who is pan! Percy and Damon don’t really care about labels like that (tiring for the former, confusing for the latter), so they’re both unlabeled queers! They just do whatever they want always

20. What’s their favorite thing to do sex-wise?

Percy:

Stepping probably, he loves those damn boots y’all—

Bowie:

Creampie-ing honestly. Either way it just happens more with him in someone else, but him getting creampied would rewire his brain

Damon:

Loves oral, big oral fixation, something he finds hot either way but he does have a slight preference for being collared and performing oral on his partner, and the only way he’s allowed to get off is by humping at their leg <3

21. Weirdest place they’ve had sex?

Percy:

Kylar loves fucking them in alleys

Bowie:

Barn probably

Damon:

Tentacle plains, weird But he loves it

22. Their favorite place on the body to be kissed?

Percy:

Inner thighs (Not on his scars), something about the soft fondness in worshipping him makes him. Feel weird in a way he doesn’t like thinking about

Bowie:

Cheeks or forehead, it’s so sweet it makes him emotional

Damon:

Neck and lips! It’s romantic… makes him fall into the small fantasy that he’s capable of loving and being loved for a moment

23. Worst sex experience?

Percy:

See answer 8!

Bowie:

See answer 8 as well!

Damon:

Hm. Sex with Harper at the asylum. Both the best and the worst. The best in the moment, he felt so loved and appreciated… but after the fact he realizes that he was appreciated only for being an interesting subject. He wasn’t really anything to him. That makes him feel empty inside.

24. Have they ever orgasmed more than once in one go?

Percy:

During that time with the two guys in the forest yeah, but during regular sex he most certainly wouldn’t unless it was Very Long

Bowie:

He has the orgasm addict trait I think that’s answer enough. He’s never fully satisfied only cumming once during sex, he’s came ten times in one go for his chef job lmao

Damon:

Yeag <3 he loves overstimulation and marathon sex soooo much he loves going until either he or his partner have been fucked stupid

25. How often do they think about having sex?

Ask vers here !

Percy:

If you go by Percy’s definition of sex which includes stuff like ‘breaking someone’s nose by kicking them in the face’ then it would be quite a bit… but, like, traditional pants off sex? Ehh like twice a week, maybe three, they have a surprisingly low libido for someone living in doltown

Bowie:

… Like once or twice a day, maybe even more if he’s pent up, but he’s completely humiliated by it. He has to jerk off daily because he can’t stop thinking about it… its a Problem

Damon:

If you leave him to his own devices then he will inevitably start thinking about having sex. It’s both in his lustful nature and also just kinda required for his incubus lifestyle, just part of his stream of consciousness now it’s normal for him

26. Are they self-conscious about any part of their body?

Percy:

Teeth 100%, was drilled into their brain when they were younger that their teeth are ugly and it still takes him a lot of effort to not instinctually cover his mouth when smiling

Bowie:

Everything <3 there’s not a single thing about his body that he can’t find something to be insecure about

In particular though? Mentioned before but his heights a big one, also deeply insecure about his tits for a variety of reasons (leaking milk is humiliating, everyone keeps on thinking he’s a woman, everyone Always points them out, etc)

Damon:

No not really, all of his self consciousness is aimed at the inside— other than like, sometimes he gets a little frustrated with his height purely because he has a lower strength threshold so protecting people he cares about is a bit harder, but even then 99% of the time he likes his height

27. How long does sex normally last with them?

Percy:

Depends. They can have torture sessions that go on for hours if they’re feeling manic and/or furious enough for it

Bowie:

Whatever you want ! But like he can go for sooooo long if you’ll let him 🥺 pretty please? 🥺

Damon:

Note answer 24, this can literally last several hours if you can match his freak. Even if you or he passes out there’s always the permission there to Keep Going until BOTH of you are down

28. Are they serious during sex or do they like to laugh?

Percy:

Pretty serious, if they get into their own head and start babbling degrading shit then they start to get a bit more maniacally giddy over the whole thing

Bowie:

Depends on the mood being set, but usually he falls pretty squarely into the role of weepy submissive on his own, can get giggly if the sex is softer <3 it’s real cute

Damon:

The sillayyyyyyyyyy, unless he’s gotten firmly into the role of mean dom then he is a silly lil bastard he’s cracking jokes and making fun the whole time, sex is Supposed to be nice and fun and chill to him so damnit he’s gonna make it nice and fun and chill!!

29. Wild-card. Give us a fun fact!

Percy:

He’s got a thick bush and happy trail, and when they’re older they get a harrier chest and arms too, I love body hair <3

Bowie:

Closest thing to him domming is sometimes when he reallllly wants to please his partner he’ll just press their back to his chest and fingerfuck their brains out, all while probably groping at their chest with the other hand, it’s like the horny spirits overtake him and he’s just humping against their back babbling about how he’s doing a good job right? You feel good right? Pretty please tell him he’s good he’s so hard please—

Damon:

Gets weird possessive streaks where he can’t help but just maul his partners neck with bites, just gets the urge to mark ‘em up randomly when he’s usually pretty lax about ‘possession’ stuff

[citizen-zero]

I’ll be real. It does bother me a little sometimes when people say they’re okay with any pronouns and then complain when people go with AGAB ones. like….are you okay with any pronouns or not. Most strangers and casual acquaintances aren’t going to consider the ramifications of using AGAB pronouns in this case—most of them don’t care enough and/or aren’t knowledgeable enough about gender issues for it to occur to them organically. It would be great if it did but we have to be realistic.

Like, if it’s people you’re close to and/or interact with a lot, that’s a different story. But also, have you had a conversation with them and told them you want them to make more effort to switch it up? Because if not, like…not everyone is going to take the initiative if they don’t realize how important it is to you. if you’ve told them and told them repeatedly and they keep doing it then yeah they’re probably being lazy and/or a jerk but idk man, I don’t necessarily think they’re secretly saying they still see you as your AGAB. I think they’re probably just following an established habit bc they don’t think it bothers you.

I guess it bothers me because it comes across disingenuous. like are you actually bothered by this or are you creating secret tests for people to fail without giving them any chance to succeed? Are you expecting people to read your mind and just somehow know that you want them to switch things up? have you done all you can to communicate with friends and close colleagues and family that you want them to make an effort?

I just don’t think it’s healthy for you or your relationships to be assuming malice and secretly ranking people in your esteem based on how they refer to you if you haven’t emphasized and clearly expressed your feelings. And tbh if it’s important to you that people don’t refer to you with AGAB pronouns….maybe stop telling people you’re okay with anything cuz clearly you’re not. At least that way, if someone keeps calling you “she” when you repeatedly said “he/they/xe,” you can actually call them out for misgendering you cuz at that point they probably are acting with malice. “curate your experience” applies to both the digital and real world.

honestly this isn’t even a comment on pronouns anymore this is just like. a comment about a specific manifestation of a larger problem.

EDIT: also this post isn’t for TERFs or radfems fuck off

[komilys]

here’s a couple of them !! (tbh there’s more but i tried to stay specific to the abusive ones)

actually have something fucked up going on:

(besides abuse, duh, # cw for animal cruelty, misgendering, and sa mention)

(r) billy and stu — manipulative fucks, just complete assholes, honestly. they’re both terrible in their own ways, though stu very much more openly, billy appears kinder, but i think he’s quicker to anger— not necessarily to violence, that’s stu, but he has a short fuse. he’ll get bitter very easily. does the whole silent treatment. both are heavy on the emotional abuse, especially when it comes to isolatation and control.

grabbing my wrist too roughly, refusing to let me go, twisting my arm, probably ‘jokingly’ choking me (thanks, stu) has happened countless times. stu was really rough with me as kids too— ‘just a normal mean boy bullying his little sister’s friend’ — as if he was wasn’t torturing neighborhood strays before dinner time.

speaking of which, as much i would love love my f/os to be accepting of my identity. these two would definitely be a little odd about it, for different reasons.

stu, he gets it, and honestly he doesn’t care what i am, he’s already cemented in his mind that i belong to him. but he still views me as a weak little girl (he says it too, sometimes, but he’ll stop if billy tells him). most definitely has said something about me not being an actual boy. got scolded by sid and tatum after. can also be mean about my weight. (thanks, 90s)

billy doesn’t really like the idea, but he’ll refer to me how i like. he’s not necessarily against it, but because he already has romantic feelings for one guy— but another one? with his fucked up view of masculinity and women, and complicated relationship with his sexuality? gg.

(r) gene — in short bc i don’t wanna elaborate on gene; he’s a bully + physical abuse (prior to relationship he was very aggressive) + power imbalance + age gap between minor / adult (began dating 14/17) + sa

(f) kai chisaki/overhaul: — just straight up psychological abuse. kai doesn’t hit, no, he can just use his quirk if i step out of line. he’s only done it twice, though. kai was very controlling though, and he definitely used hurting eri against me, (not that he wasn’t already hurting her), as well as just, killing his underlings. (think of what he says to eri, essentially). definitely uses the fact that i still love him to his advantage, he knows what he’s doing.

after attempting to help eri escape he just . locked me in a room lol. my bedroom didn’t have a door for a solid couple of months. it would just be a wall, and if he needed me he would open it up. otherwise i would just be by his side constantly or with kurono. also skewed my perception of heroes.

bless him he completely ruined two perfectly okay kids.

(r) tate — killed me. any questions.

still messed up, but less so:

(f) akito sohma — they got a heavy codependency thing goin’ on. akito doesn’t really physically harm me like the other sohmas but ohh if she didn’t play the guilt trip card like hell as she got older (if she ever felt like she could lose someone, basically).

bonus ! problematic bc fandom decreed it or whatever:

(r) ciel phantomhive — idk he’s canonically like 13 and i age him up, seems to be enough to get people mad

(r) varian — i don’t know actually. probably has something to do with him being 14 at the beginning though

(r) number five — he’s a doozy because he’s mentally like 50 but in the body of a 13 year old

wait im curious

if your selfship is problematic, reblog this and put in the tags how so.

specifically if it is abusive: who is the abuser? you/your oc or your f/o? and what kinds of abuse are most prevalent in your ship?

proship/neutral only

[nastyatticman]

slashers supporting a trans/non binary S/O

kinda broad, not representative of ALL trans/enby experiences ofc.

I have headcanons written for 10+ characters at the moment, feel free to request any you like c:

here’s headcanons for Billy Lenz, Brahms Heelshire,Lester Sinclair (w/ help from @slasherfucker42069​ ), Billy Loomis & Stu Macher (Polyam!Ghostface), Angela Baker (SC2&3)

Billy Lenz

Might ask you a bunch of invasive questions when he finds out you’re trans / non binary. Probably related to sex because his mind is in the gutter. But he won’t be mad if you don’t answer all of them

“He a little confused but he got the spirit” - supports you 100% even if he’s definitely learning still

Like sometimes he’ll ask you about your opinion on a passage from Stone Butch Blues, sometimes he’ll sneak into your room from the attic to show you a niche trans meme and ask you to explain the joke to him because it looks hilarious, he just doesn’t know what it all means

Probably asks you in depth about what words you’re comfortable with him using for you, so he can update his dirty talk lmaooo. But also so that he can give you pet names you like <3

Brahms Heelshire

ALSO may ask you invasive or inappropriate questions. His knowledge about transgender / nonbinary things is very spotty since he’s coming from a very uptight Christian background. And porn. May get pouty if you don’t answer everything, but later he’d feel bad and apologize by making you tea

Ends up researching, sometimes with basic videos & sometimes reading academic essays about gender and trans history. The dude lives on TE/R/F island, sadly, so you may have to help steer him in the right direction. But he’s smart enough to find good sources once he finds a good writer or two.

He may end up taking things too seriously, and if you make jokes about gender it may confuse him at first lol. Like… What’s a malewife? Is that a specific non binary identity or…? 

After reading about all the shit that’s going on, especially in the UK, he just wants to spoil you with gender affirming gifts. May get stereotypical with it - all trans girls like knee socks / all trans guys like old spice / all non binary people wear circle lenses, right Y/N? But if you tell him what you want he’ll get it 100%. Prepare to get 10 of every kind of affirming undergarment (binders, gaffs, etc)  if you ask for one lol.

Lester Sinclair (with help from Athen!)

Doesn’t know much about trans stuff, and acknowledges that. He wants to hear what it means to you - whether you have a deep connection to your transness, or you don’t think much of it, he recognizes that every trans / non binary person is different. Lester just wants to know what works best for you so he can support you

His support mostly comes from him having a good ear for listening - and for doing everything in his power to make you happy. If you want to sit back and have some beers (or drinks of your choice) and vent about your experiences or even just telling your favorite trans jokes. And if you choose to make any big changes - hormones, surgery, getting a new wardrobe - he’s right there by your side.

It doesn’t change much about his relationship with you, unless you ask. Generally he would treat partners who are male or female or both or neither about the same. Like, his go to pet names are gender neutral - sunshine, sweetpea, lovebug, etc. 

 Similarly, he’s flexible and doesn’t really attach gender to things in your relationship, like who cooks or cleans. He’ll show off his taxidermy and dance to the radio late at night with any kind of partner. He just wants to show his love

Billy Loomis & Stu Macher / Polyam!Ghostface

Billy plays it cool like he knows everything (he doesn’t). Probably looks for pamphlets and stuff online like “what to do if my partner comes out as trans” even if he won’t admit it

Stu is like “yeah! trans rights!” the second you mention you’re trans. His knowledge around trans stuff is not the best since it’s probably informed by memes & in jokes he doesn’t fully get, but it’s good that he’s learning from other trans people

Either way they’re both supportive and learning in their own ways

Stu would also be the one to practice getting your pronouns right or to help you try out a new name. Like ordering you Starbucks / drinks / food with your new name. Also he and Billy would practice by coming up with some wild stories about you as the sole survivor of the dreaded Ghostface killer

Angela Baker

She’s also trans so she understands if you may want to keep things lowkey, but she’s also ready to help if you need support with coming out or correcting people who misgender you

(very much the “Do you want me to kill that guy for you?” friend/partner)

I can see her not necessarily hiding that she’s trans but not telling people very often, so she’s kind of stealth in some areas. Either way she respects how much information you want to disclose to people, and checks in with you to make sure she’s acting appropriately. Whether you’d rather keep childhood anecdotes about Girl/Boy Scouts to a minimum, or you want to go with her to Pride, she’ll support you either way! 

Since she’s transitioned (medically & legally) she will 100% help you if you choose to transition. Helps with any paperwork and to talk to doctors and insurance companies etc, because those can be tough

Overall doesn’t make it a big deal but she loves having a trans partner who understands her. Trans 4 Trans love is pure.

[ofdreamsanddoodles]

“tell me something that effects a nonbinary person that doesn’t also apply to a trans men or trans woman”

If I were a trans man, I could change my gender marker to male in the state that I live in. If I were a trans woman, I could change my gender marker to female in the state I live in.

But I’m non-binary and there is no option for an ‘X’ gender marker in my state so I am legally unable to have a gender marker that doesn’t misgender me, which isn’t the case for trans women and trans men where I live.

Every time I have to fill out a form and choose male or female because there isn’t another option or a way to opt out, I’m experiencing a type of erasure that binary trans people will never experience.

I’m not playing the oppression Olympics or something, but there are plenty of issues that affect non-binary people that don’t discriminate against binary people.

that's fair, i hadn't thought much about gender markers because i've seen a lot of discussion as to whether or not an x marker is even really "worth" it. putting an F or and M on your driver's license doesn't automatically out you as trans, which could potentially put someone in danger depending on who is looking at it. also, while i do agree that what you've said is definitely specific to nonbinary people, a lot of states have requirements for changing gender ID, like having to be on hormones for a certain amount of time, or getting surgeries, etc, meaning that there are still binary trans people being forced to walk around with IDs that misgender them

my argument isn't necessarily that nonbinary people don't have their own experiences, (like! i'm a lesbian that uses he/him pronouns! a lot of people don't understand that, but some of those same people won't accept trans women as lesbians either because neither of us are living up to what they think a lesbian should be) but that having a specific word for it just feels a bit redundant. the reason there are laws about when you can change your gender marker & what you can change it to is because of society's idea of gender, which is often incredibly binary in a way that impacts all trans people, and sometimes forces them to present in ways they wouldn't if their transition was solely about their own dysphoria instead of living as that gender in a society.

basically what i'm saying is gender markers are hell for everyone & there have been cases where trans men for example can't access abortions or other similar healthcare as long as they have an M as a gender marker, so in my personal opinion, i think "i have to be misgendered here while they dont," while true, is an oversimplification of the real issue, which is that we should be doing away with gender markers all together

[olympiansally]

hi! i dont want to come of as invasive and if i am feel free not to answer to this ask but how does it work that your pronouns are he/him and they/them? I always found it kind of hard to wrap my head around, a bit. like what does it feel like yk? i kind of just want to understand whats going on there? idk. anyway! i adore your last quiz and i cried <3

Hi anon!

Some people might find this type of question invasive and such, but as long as things are coming from a place of trying to educate yourself and grow to be more understanding I never mind answering questions like this so don’t worry! Keep in mind that I’m not a spokesperson for all trans ppl, not even all he/theys and that ppl can feel very differently about things, but I’ll do my best to give you a good explanation on how it is for me personally.

The way it works basically is that I accept and respond to either he/him or they/them or both and that if you stick to those you won’t be misgendering or disrespecting me, which is pretty much how it works with anyone’s pronouns yk? So basically stick to those (you can either choose one to refer to me consistently by or switch between them, I don’t mind either way) and we won’t have a problem :)

The “what it feels like” part of the question is a bit more tricky and the part I’m guessing you actually have doubts about since like calling someone by their pronouns is pretty straight forward lmao

This part is a bit personal and the answer will def vary depending on who you ask, but for me personally it’s just a matter of what I’m more comfortable with. I don’t have a strict distinction between people using he/him or they/them for me because they both feel right and they both fit and make me comfortable. I’m a trans person with very thin gender boundaries and I kind of fluctuate a lot within the nonbinary, but I’m more comfortable being perceived as masculine so he/him works fine. At the same time I don’t really see gender as a binary at all. Yw when ppl say that gender is a social construct? Yeah I mean that very literally. To me it kinda feels like society just agreed on some arbitrary rules that don’t necessarily make sense for me so I don’t really feel the need to play along. More specifically, I’m AFAB and the social expectations that come with it always made me uncomfortable one way or another so I don’t identify with that and don’t use she/her pronouns. In general, I don’t even really like the idea of those roles or understand the need for them at all so I like to inhabit a place without them and the nonbinary and using they/them make me comfortable with that. Sometimes though I do feel like playing along, specially because it can be kinda tiring explaining myself all the time and it gets even worse in non trans communities or with people who aren’t necessarily super educated on the subject or even worse in my daily life in a country with very gendered language. So sometimes I play along with the little roles, but I feel more comfortable doing that in the one they didn’t assign me and I got to “choose” for myself instead - aka he/him.

Btw keep in mind the very hesitant use of the word “choose” because obviously being trans is not a choice, but I do feel like I got to choose my pronouns, yk just because of how fluid it all is for me, but be careful with terms like that for trans ppl in general.

But anyway, that’s the best way I can think to explain it and I hope it helps you understand me and other trans folk better anon! Feel free to ask any clarifying questions or like let me know if you need any more explanations. I truly don’t mind talking about it and I know how helpful it was to get insight from other trans ppl when I didn’t know much about it and then when I first started transitioning too - and that goes both for this anon and for anyone one else who might need some help.

But I think that’s that for this one lmao hope this was helpful and thanks for wanting to understand anon <3

[the-ghost-king]

Hey im kinda new to Tumblr and im scared that im accidentally going to reblog something not knowing it was from a TERF/MAP/Homophobe, etc, so can i have a few names to block? thanks <33

Oh you'll know, don't worry!

Every other post will be misgendering a trans person, saying sex work is inherently oppressive, men are abusive and can't be anything better, and they're center their feminism in a very specific way! On top of that, if you follow a terf, you'll get a lot of similarly recommended terf blogs, if that's who they follow :/

Keep an eye out for words like "radfem", "gender-critical", "dysphoric woman", etc. Also, just because some uses pronouns besides she/her, uses a label specifically relating to transgenders (xenogender, mogai labels, etc) doesn't mean they're not a terf.

Worst case scenario, search through someone's tags for the words: trans, gender, transgender, pronouns, and other similar things.

There are always crypto-terfs, I do my best to avoid blogs that have the word "rad", "radical", "critical", or other similar variants in their title unless they are loudly outspoken about trans rights (sometimes people use urls from a specific group to keep that group from owning those urls). On top of that terfs/radfems will use words like "woman", "women", "womyn" and various other spellings, as well as "feminism" or words relating to it (obviously you can't hard block anyone with woman or feminism in their URL or bio, you'll accidentally block a lot of good people, so you have to dig a little more here).

Here's a good post on recognizing crypto-terfs, @/nothorses is generally a really good blog for trans issues, most specifically trans masculine issues, and I'm a huge fan of all of his posts tbh... He reblogged a post a while ago about recognizing crypto-terfs (months ago) but I can't seem to find it right now, so I apologize for that!

Sometimes people have "secret terf side blogs" so if you follow a blog and suddenly get recommended a bunch of terf accounts- you'll have to figure out who you've recently followed.

As for homophobes, in all my years on Tumblr I've only ever come across 2, and I assure you the community on Tumblr does a good job of taking care of them, so I wouldn't worry yourself there.

As for pedophiles, I've never necessarily found one, I've found a few "ex-pedos" (again Tumblr people handle them quite sufficiently) but never anyone actively praying on children with sexual intent... I'm sure they exist, but from what I understand they stick to their own little corner reblogging map positivity posts or whatever the fuck they do idk... Avoid people who call them MAPs or PEARs, they're pedophiles and they should be referred to as such.

Also, getting involved with any of these groups, you'll notice a certain way they argue things and a certain way they talk, as well as certain slang vocabulary they use. You'll get a lot easier at recognizing who's who, also don't feel bad if you don't get a terf... Maybe you block someone who isn't a terf but has a one weird post they reblogged from one unknowingly? Just block them too it's not a big deal! If you go on block sprees (sometimes I'll spend a half hour straight up just blocking terfs) you'll quickly notice which blogs have the most followers, because lots of different blogs tie back to their blog.

Also if someone is doing something extremely wrong, shifty, or discriminatory- report their blog and the post. Don't send them an anon, don't watch for more posts, just report and move on. Tumblr has a "does this discriminate based on gender identity?" clause in their report section, just say that it discriminates based on gender identity and harms trans people.

Hopefully that helps some! I don't do block lists, and I apologize for that but it's not something personally comfortable with considering I don't know who's behind any specific blog and what they're going to do or what they're going to receive. That's not to say I think you're a bad person, it's just to say I don't know you we'll enough to know what actions you might take.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Genuine question what is billions even about I see clips all the time and I cannot figure out what the plot is besides like “business” but I am very much in love w Taylor Mason (i think that’s their last name?) so I am intrigued ...

oh i’m so glad you asked

yeah it’s not at all a Just You thing, not only do we often only post about a particular slice of the series, it’s just REALLY difficult to get (or provide. but i’m always up for the challenge) a sense of what Billions is like as a series like, genre wise, and re: the plot, my god, every [usually more than 50 min but less than an hour] episode is a journey, in that So much will have happened. it moves at a Pace, i can tell you. but you know, good news in that it’s not really necessary to explain every plot thread ever, b/c it’s as much about its Themes or what have you

the stats rundown is billions is a weekly showtime tv series partway through its 5th season (12 episodes per season, currently they are producing the last half of s5 but had been on pandemic production hiatus for the past year, we do not yet know when the rest of s5 will air, s6 was greenlit a while ago) this isn’t really need to know for this question lol, but you don’t need to Not know either

the like, content Rundown is that yeah, it’s business, mostly high finance, although one of the main characters is always doing Legal Stuff (don’t care really b/c that side of things is not generally as relevant to, yes, taylor mason, who Makes the series). the kind of overarching Theme / premise is that the show is about like, here’s these Conflicts between people who are wielding some power in various ways, looking at the motivations of the individuals involved / the Cause And Effect web of these conflicts between them, e.g. how the consequences / fallout of one Power Play Maneuver will affect someone else’s storyline and result in them executing their own maneuvers, and of course, the pitfalls of all of this. more specifically, the series kicks off with the two (then (taylor is introduced in season 2) mainest characters, Axe, ceo of a hedge fund, and Chuck, some kind of lawyer who decides to go after axe b/c axe thinks he’s hot shit (true) and chuck is like ohhh i gotta do something about this guy. so there’s an Unending Conflict, axe vs chuck, an ongoing back and forth series of small or more overarching battles, and of course sometimes alliances, because there’s a Lot of characters on this show and we’re in season 5 so there’s been plenty of other Conflicts introduced besides this particular ongoing war. also, uh oh, chuck’s wife wendy works for the hedge fund axe runs! that’s just a whole wrench in things. as some sort of like, in house therapist performance coach sort of deal, thanks wendy, she’s also fairly a Main Character

axe is somewhat more relevant for our purposes b/c that’s that Finance side of the show via which taylor is introduced. but yeah both axe and chuck are exasperating lmfao like, this isn’t a show where it’s about the Likeability of whatever main character where like, you’re rooting for the obviously righteous / justified person or anything, it’s more about being along for the ride where you get to know Why people are engaging in these conflicts for sure, but like, unless you’re one of plenty of fans who maybe aren’t bringing the most Insight to the show who find any of this like, aspirational Epic Winner stuff like hell yeah axe or chuck as the Cool Guy Who Deserves To Win lmfao, being along for the ride is knowing that you’re just getting to watch this unfolding mess, so that’s “fun” lol

to get more to the point, yeah Taylor Mason is again the best part of the series lol, they’re introduced early in s2 as a Very Talented young iintern at axe capital (axe’s hedge fund) who, yknow, part of what makes axe an Eventful character to center things around is he’s (sometimes) capable re: all these strategic finance maneuvers, and also all “i don’t play by the rules,” which can often mean like, the actual rules like “no insider trading please” or more kinda implicit moral rules like “don’t keep taking Business Advantage over people’s deaths,” and here means that even though taylor is this early to mid 20something intern with no experience in finance who’s not even, at that juncture, necessarily planning to stay in the industry, he’s like yeah they’re valuable and i’m not gonna hold them back from that potential / opportunities * just because they’re a 20something new to the industry intern who definitely doesn’t behave in the Usual Way around here and is also a canon nonbinary character, thanks ( * you might not believe it, but axe does not proceed to only ever be a potential encouraging, opportunity creating ally* (*although, one nice thing is that they....almost always....have axe adamantly hold everyone who works with him to respecting taylor as a nonbinary person, at least in how they address taylor. b/c taylor Does get misgendered periodically, which can be exhausting, but they also aren’t exactly striving to hold it to what might be most “””realistic””��� so like, taylor isn’t subject to transphobia and misgendering All The Time either) and so taylor very quickly goes beyond internship at axe cap, to the extent that when, at the end of season 2, axe effectively leaves them in charge of the whole fund when his own fuckups mean he temporarily Can’t helm axe cap

aaand then s3 starts off with taylor running things but has axe return Officially in charge soon enough, so there’s problems there, in that axe is now pulling taylor Back, and like, axe is alllllll about his ego, so it’s like, of course he’d Want taylor to have been able to successfully run axe cap while he couldn’t, since it’s his fund, but then of course he’s also mad about it b/c he needs everyone, like taylor, to know he’s better & more winning than them. and taylor doesn’t appreciate now being more sabotaged and stifled and that, like, if they’re mad about being treated this way, axe is just gonna be mad about That b/c you know, why aren’t they Only grateful to their mentor or deferential to his Skill And Experience, as well as the fact that no matter how much of an Ally you are to him, he’ll be mad if you’re not unilaterally loyal, aka if he fucks you over you can’t be mad about it or that’s actually a way you’re wronging Him, and you’re also wronging him if yknow, you say he can’t/shouldn’t just do what he wants, or do anything that to him implies you don’t think he’s objectively the Best most Winning and Deserving guy in whatever regards, like, if you’re associated with someone who makes him feel insecure in his superiority for one moment, and/or who he thinks doesn’t also recognize his superiority or something, he’ll be mad at you.......the Conflicts can arise v easily around here with this beloved character walking around. so, yeah, whereas season 2 for taylor is more like wow taylor you’ve got all this potential and value here, in season 3 taylor’s sure got reason to question their future at axe cap (see this post resident Billions / Taylor Mason Pro soph made last night) and, when not only are they and axe just more often going head to head over what they want here, there’s also this added egregious conflict of “taylor starts seeing this guy oscar who’s also in finance (but not at axe cap) and when they ask axe for some input on a matter via which they intended to help oscar out, axe uses that Information taylor just used to fuck oscar over to his own advantage, and when taylor is like ‘what the hell’ axe is just like ‘what’d you expect!! i gotta be me!!! if you expected anything different, that’s on you, and if you Did expect me to do this, that’s also on you’ because i’m sure it’s a surprise to hear that axe considers himself this like, force of nature where all his feelings and motivations and justifications are Objective and Correct, and then taylor has to tell oscar what happened and naturally this ends the relationship, to their evident further unhappiness” and oops, season 3 ends with taylor having started their own hedge fund.

i could give a tl;dr for what happens over the course of s4 & (so far in) s5, but i think the s2/s3 arcs are kinda the Essential Lore for explaining this character who crashes into the show (not in that their character tends to crash, their arrival and presence is clearly somewhat of a shakeup re: the norm, but they themself are all about staying balanced and Not being driven by tumultuous emotional impulses or anything like that, *cough, the characters they are quite a Foil to in this way*) and quickly ascends to Main Charactership. (also just remembered the other stats note that taylor is played by asia kate dillon, who is themself nonbinary.) another element that is a lot of fun re: taylor is that they have like, the series’ best Friendship lol, the show is not very conducive to a bunch of characters having a bunch of heartwarming relationships, though they sure Do appreciate those characters and let us see a lot of Dynamics at play even beyond the “these people are locked in conflict” plots and characterful interactions and moments for their own sakes, and Alliances, even friendships, sure are the other side of the Ongoing Conflicts coin here. but what i’m getting around to is that taylor gets to be good buds with mafee, a Guy who was working at axe cap already in season 1, who, along with ben kim (Another Guy At Axe Cap in S1, who we are also fans of) is like, one of the actually nice(r) people around there, and who is just like. such this Hapless Cishet Dude lmfaooo but he also happens to be the guy overseeing taylor’s (and presumably others’) internship, and is yknow, maybe kinda conflicted about “i’ve Been an actual employee this whole time and there goes an intern rocketing past me” but is also Supportive towards taylor, and taylor in turn is an Ally to him, and they are Friends, and when taylor starts their own fund, Taylor Mason Capital, mafee is the person from axe cap who helps them do it and leaves axe cap to work for them there. there’s also a part in s4, after an arc in the middle of the season ended up with taylor taking quite an emotional L, mafee has gone and confronted Responsible Parties over it and, naturally, ended up in a charity interfund Boxing Match (which, a] billions is deliberately Wild plenty of times in both its Elevated Dialogue style but also just like, things that happen lol but b] apparently that’s something that can & does happen in real life in hedge fund world. absolutely bizarre to learn this kind of stuff) taylor kinda gives him this pep talk including “asking you to come with me (to TMC, mase cap, their fund) was the best decision i ever made” and even back then, when we’d just started paying attention to the show fairly recently and weren’t exactly familiar with everyone and everything going on, it was like oh i Gotta post that clip lmao

there are many other side characters, this is a very Populated show, including like, recurring characters, people liable to be introduced at various points who might become regulars Or make repeat appearances but more periodically Or be around for part of a season, but naturally also i am mentioning one specific side character of Winston (No Official Last Name), who is a Quant, aka a quantitative rather than fundamental analyst, who first appeared in One Scene at the start of season 3 when taylor was looking to hire some quants for a project, but did not succeed, and the character (then only Quant Kid 2) was only meant to have that one appearance, but delightfully everyone wanted him back and they wrote more material for him asap. taylor later brings him on to their quant project, which is revealed to be part of what ensures they can start their own fund, and in season 4 winston is apparently the head of the quant team at mase cap, and he continues to appear as taylor’s main Quant. could go into a long (and, as he’s not a Main Character and it’s easier to cover his material, very thorough) tangent there lol but you’re asking about taylor and i’m only bringing up winston b/c technically he Is relevant there lmfao but also, i have to, and [tfw this side character quant who was originally only going to appear in one brief scene was the reason you got into this series in the first place and now it’s like well, We’re Here Forever, and also, taylor mason is The character]

natch you must’ve noticed if you’re sending me an ask about billions, but if you like taylor mason you Gotta be following @nothingunrealistic the #1 Tayficianado and who has also recently nobly finished Actually Properly Watching Billions and who can give you all kinds of info about the character / series, there’s A LOT to cover and it’s kinda impossible to convey some stuff w/o simply experiencing things yourself firsthand lmfao but also, we think about these characters and this show every day for like, two years and running, so. as you can see......totally willing to talk about it at any time to any extent lol

[metellastella]

Mao Mao Pride Week Prompts, Part 3

A continuation of the prompts put out by @maomaosmother Part 1 https://metellastella.tumblr.com/post/621726687992872960/hello-everyone-happy-pride-month-to-all-of-you Part 2 https://metellastella.tumblr.com/post/621834183114932224/mao-mao-pride-week-prompts

7. Marriage

“But first,” Mao’s sister clapped her hands together, “I wanna talk weddings some more!”

“Right on!” the badger agreed. He whooped. 

“Oh good grief,” Mao rolled his eyes. “Fine. You two can chat with the king about the possibility. And I reiterate. Possibility. When you’re ready to make good on your promise, come find me.” 

She clucked her tongue in disapproval. “Fine. Be the usual stick in the mud. Don’t know why I’m surprised.” 

He grabbed a few more things off his plate and left. 

“So,” she sat back down, “I guess if you favor men, the animals here didn’t have to petition for marriage laws to be amended, huh?” 

”Correct.” the lion replied. 

“Though some thought I was … ironically … being ‘biased.’ Oh well. Can’t help that. Royal power is absolute, for better or worse. I’ve traveled to other nations and, during debates, have suggested that they not use the term ‘marriage’ as I have. Law is, at least in some peoples’ opinions, supposed to be ‘secular,’ and not ‘religious,’ anyway, so why cling to a specific term that isn’t? Simply afford all the exact same rights to civil unions or domestic partnerships. Or make up a third designation. Much easier to get it passed that way. Bypasses a whole lot of entrenched resistance. People can hash out in their own communities what to do with the non-legal angles and rituals and what to call it. But for a ‘marriage’ certificate? What, after all, is a rhetorical difference, in the end?” the diplomat and statesman snapped his fingers. “And like that, less angst for absolutely everyone involved. It’s not always that easy to reconcile or find middle ground. I can’t think of practically any other issues where simply altering one single word could have that effect. Despite a couple of decades worth of rhetorical experience under my belt.”

He sat back, and interlaced his paws contentedly. “Some countries insisted they were still going to adjust tax breaks because of the very unlikely event of children. Unless surrogates are involved, and properly registered as such, to try to avoid wrangling over child custody. That’s a whole other kettle of fish to get into, obviously.” 

She nodded. “Well like Mao said, I’m not here to talk politics. Let’s hear your fantasies about the most important day of your life!”

The badger shook his head. “Well it’s not like that for everyone, but don’t get me wrong, I wanna hear, too!” he said excitedly. 

“Erm … “ the lion looked down. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked. 

“It’s just … I’m more enthusiastic about the idea than Mao, but I’m still a long way off from that myself. So, I don’t want to insult you by making you think I’m further along, just because I have envisioned a marriage … regardless of who the groom is.”

She frowned a little, thinking. “All right then.”

“But I would love to hear about some of your customs, in that event.”

Her face fell some more. “I’m not sure that would be a good idea.”

“Oh?”

“The homeland, though the majority is plenty accepting of pairing in general, has not approved marriage between men,” she said, “so any customs you applied to each other or one of you … might be seen as disrespectful. For example. Would Mao dress as the woman, since he’s chosen to sub? Not only do I think he would never, ever do that …” she looked at the badger for confirmation.

He shook his head, “Oh most definitely not.” He thought for a second. “Maybe that’s why he got up out of here, for that matter. He thought we were gonna suggest doing that. We’ve been to weddings like that. Again, a little like misgendering, no? Even in the rare cases where he gets a mind for it, he’s not at all like a typical sub.”

The badger paused. 

“He doesn’t really fit in when I would hang out with other subs. One panda I met just could not wrap his mind around Mao. It was kinda funny. Irritating for him, though. I would be totally down for dressing like the female counterpart in a wedding, if it were me. I’ve pictured it both ways. Maybe even a costume change in the middle?” he waggled his eyebrows. “Or whatever my partner wanted? If a polar bear gave me any direction I’d melt under his strong paw,” his gaze unfocused, and he hummed appreciatively. “Tuxedo? Coming right up. What color? What style? White wool tunic and stole, as is customary for you big guy? I’ll match you! Usus? My Ursus. My dear ursine. Coemptio? Confarreati? Gown? Dress? You got it, my bae bear. I’m male, sure, but a lot more loosey-goosey in that way. But. It’s not me.”

He sighed romantically. 

“If I understand Mao,” the lion said slowly, “in general, he’s less sentimental, at the very least in expression, so maybe it’s simply that he doesn’t get as wrapped up in it as you or I would.” 

The badger shrugged. 

“Also, women tend to get more excited about wedding planning. Not a hard and fast rule of course, but I think we’ve established that you and I have a lot more in common with women, so it makes sense we’d be more enamored, even if it didn’t necessarily need to be that way.”

The badger slapped his forehead. “Oh yeah, wow. How could I not think of that!” He put his paw down and gestured towards her. “I mean this whole conversation we've had a vibe and Mao has seemed the odd one out, gender wise, but I didn’t consider that.”

The badger went on, “Even without a wedding on the table, which is usually headed up by women in this part of the world, it’s often awkward in the first place for a typical guy to be in a room with all women and vice versa … so this visit has kinda been like that for him, I think. I mean, Mao’s always eager enough to go to a wedding, excited about hitting on and dancing with some ladies, and all, but that doesn’t mean he’d necessarily enjoy planning one. He might even leave it all up to you even if he was totally ready for it!” 

The three femme animals spent the next few hours discussing flower arrangements, color palettes, the band of tolerant aristocracy he would invite, and who among the clan would approve enough to come. That was hard for the sister to get through, as she thought of those she loved who would refuse to give their blessing and ‘miss all the fun.’

8. Self-Acceptance

Mao threw up his hands in exasperation. “This was different than anything anybody knew of. Other clans’ elders who had wielders hurt badly were brought in to consult. We wielders can be slammed around by dragons, can be thrown into the ground and make craters, and walk away. With lesser wielders, bruises could be shrugged off and healed. But SOMEHOW, the universe had, like a homing pigeon bent on mouse’s blood, found one little chink in our armor. . . . Delicate tails aren’t resistant enough to damage to withstand direct crush force. Some of the visiting canine elders spoke of a time when groups of semi-sapient non-magical hunting dogs had their flowing, floppy ears or long tails surgically cropped to keep them from injuring themselves on hunts. To potentially avoid something like this happening again … by cave-ins, like mine, by boulders hurled by some types of dragons, even just being stepped on by a dragon big enough …  Should all wielder animals, intending to fight these beasts … should every species with long tails start doing this removal with our children, they asked? With consent, of course. Like removing tonsils or primates removing the appendix? Lizards probably couldn’t do it, because their slanted gait was too dependent and their tails too heavy. So maybe just the tips? Surely the thicker parts of their tails withstand something like this? They asked. The elders of felines and canines and rodents and otters … the later they waited to dock tails in a trainee’s life, the more they would have to adjust to the missing counterbalance just as I was. They swarmed me and questioned me about it relentlessly. They were asking among themselves … What age would this terrible offered choice be appropriate?”

His green eyes widened in horror at these questions. As if he needed any more psychological stress after being temporarily crippled, he seemed to have altered the entire course of history with the way clans viewed preparation for wielder heroes.

“Inwardly, I felt like …” he once again tried to force the words out he had started before. “I felt like I was causing an implosion of the whole clan. The tranquil meditation spaces were overrun with visitors. Children still hid from me. Our elders argued over whether they should move me for the duration of my recovery, from the clan’s circle. They argued over what to do about the little ones. But didn’t I deserve to feel safe, too? Of course I was ripping everyone apart! It was what always happened when I was around! When we were all younger, and my sisters occasionally came to my defense from one another or dad, I felt it was somehow my fault they argued, too.”

Even if the elders made these new procedures for children voluntary, he would still be virtually ‘responsible’ for possibly unneeded selective surgical alteration of innocents.

“Blue says that’s common, for bullied children to feel like it’s their fault.”

He looked towards the door, probably thinking of the dog’s unruffled voice of reason.

“I try to listen to him. I try to like myself. B-but I … it seemed l-like my family w-was disintegrating because of m-m-me. And my stupid ‘mistake.’ The whole world of wielders, even! Sometimes it still does, when they visit …! Arguing over father’s treatment of me. Remember when my sister said she wasn’t sure starting arguments over lesser wielders was worth unsettling future heroes? Now imagine what I was thinking when the little ones didn’t feel safe in the circle of the clan because of me. I was drowning in self-blame and the only way I felt I could escape it was to work harder, push myself more, and get away from there.” 

Could Blue even help him out of this? The lion pictured him like a seeing eye dog this time, trying for all the world to lead the black cat out of such darkness. 

Bonus:

From my second story, Outnumbered. Tanya sashayed around the red-caped cat. “Hello Mittens.” “Tanya I swear if you do not stop calling me that, I’m going to use the wrong pronouns for you,” the cat threatened. “Touchy, touchy,” the tanuki tutted teasingly, but her normally chipper attitude got a dent in it. “As if that’s an even trade, anyway.” The masculine magic cat said gruffly, “Maybe not. But I’m tired of you mocking me without consequences. Just because that’s the only thing that ever gets under your skin is no fault of mine. Perky little miss.” She rolled her eyes. “So, you try to make gendering me correctly even sound derogatory. No wonder I broke up with you.” The cat’s fists tightened, but he spoke cooly. “If you can’t handle all this. I’ll just find someone who can.” 

“Like the king you’re serving as a bodyguard to?” the fox-like animal said in a silken tone. “The only kind of lion with no birth mane. Are you a chaser, you dog?” “First off. No. How dare you. Targeting gender non-conforming animals may not be officially dishonorable, but as a concept, it is,” the samurai bristled, “We’re not involved, and we’re never going to be. We’re not attracted to each other, as my nose could clearly tell if he was. Second of all. Since when do you have something against dogs?” “It’s an expression.” “An expression that’s derogatory towards dogs,” the cat sneered. “I can’t imagine the blue therapist dog could be less like that. It’s like ‘sexist pig.’ The yellow pig back in Pure Heart would be crushed if he ever heard someone utter it. Yet outside that nice little paradise, it’s a common saying. King Snugglemagne is having to adjust mightily to the outside world. You may be used to it, steeped in it, but for magic’s sake, stop teasing him about it.” “Oh, a king can’t take a little hardship?” she said lazily. “Of course not, he’s been ensconced in his fancy-pants palace. Now that he has an idea of how it is for everyone else, he crumples at the slightest trouble. Sorry I can’t muster up enough energy to care.” “You should care. Given that he has the same problems you do.” “With pronouns? Puh. Since I’m a roaming outlaw,” the orange animal said flouncily, “I don’t expect either other crooks or enforcers I encounter to respect that my gender doesn’t match my body’s smell. The former doesn’t even respect the law, so why should I take that personally? And the latter are more focused on getting me behind bars. So, no, not my problem. Too much of a bother.” “If you settled down, and got a respectable job,” the cat pointed out, “Established yourself as a constant presence, people would probably collectively accept you.” She laughed derisively. “Oh no, I value my freedom far more than that, Mi-” she swallowed back the nickname. He laughed just as derisively. “I see you do value my word on the matter, though,” he said suggestively. “Are you just not as tough as you make out, or do you still harbor some feelings for me, my sweet little illusionist?” 

She opened her mouth, but then shut it again. 

“You slippery mirage master,” he said “you do, don’t you?”

He paused. “Hm. ‘Master,’ maybe I should say ‘Mistress’?” he amended. “There’s . . . really no good choice there,” she chuckled hesitantly. “There are ‘Head Mistresses’ at some schools in Snugglemagne’s kingdom,” the cat pointed out. 

“Yes but . . . still has connotations. I don’t break the law that way,” she said, normally carefree attitude wobbling. “Even I have standards.”

“Hasn't stopped you from dangling the offer to get what you want,” he said. 

She blushed.

“Yeah, word gets around,” he went on blithely as she uncomfortably gripped one of her arms. “Don't know why I should be surprised that playing with hearts isn't beneath you. But more to the point. I know you’re ultimately reasonably principled in that arena, if really flirty. You ever want to get back together, babe, the invitation is open,” he winked. 

“And endure your jealous behavior again? I think not. I’ll file that away with other useless knowledge,” she said icily. 

“Oh that’s not like you,” he said in a low baritone. “You’re sweet to everyone, even if they can’t catch the mocking tone sometimes.” “Not everyone’s as smart as you, cupcake.” He looked caught off guard by the compliment. “She brushed her fingers under his chin. “I guess you’ll just have to miss me.”

She somersaulted away from him, waving goodbye and blowing a kiss.  He said under his breath, “As if I’d ever misgender you. You may play a lot of mind games, love, but you didn’t catch that bluff.”

Comic page: https://metellastella.tumblr.com/post/621837213819437056/mao-maos-specific-trigger-should-not-be First chapter of Piercing the Swordsman https://metellastella.tumblr.com/post/617045879413719040/piercing-the-swordsman-chapter-1

@beesechurguer @king-himbo

[writing-with-olive]

Things you can write about when talking about dysphoria

I think that a lot of the books I read don’t mention a prevelant part of many trans people’s lives, and that’s dysphoria. I’m going to be writing about a few things that you can talk about to make it feel more real. Note: I’m AFAB (assigned female at birth), so these examples are going to be from that perspective.

tw: microagressions (not specific beyond misgendering)

tw: FTM (female to male) and FTNB (female to nonbinary) dysphoria

tw: hair dysphoria, chest dysphoria, hip/waist dysphoria

tw: misgendering

note: this post got really long, so if you decide that this isn’t what you were looking for, press j to skip.

1) What is dysphoria (and also what’s dyspmorphia)

Dysphoria - Dysphoroia is emotional distress caused by having a different gender than the one people would generally read you as based on how your body looks. For example, if a dude has wide hips, that could cause him to have dysphoria, or if a woman has lots of facial hair, that could cause her dysphoria. Dysphoria is usually isolated to trans individuals.

Dysmorphia - Dysmorphia is similar to dysphoria, though it’s typically milder - though not always - and it’s more general. Dysmorphia is a feeling that some attribute of your body should/should not be there, regardless of gender identity. For example, if a cisgender (has the same gender that was assigned at birth) woman didn’t feel like she should have boobs, then that would be dysmorphia. 

---

Neither dysphoria nor dysmorphia are necessarily caused by being guilted or shamed into how you are (though I imagine they can be), but are more a knowelege that something isn’t right. 

Because dysphoria is more about the distress caused by a mismatch between one’s identity and their body, and dysmorphia is more about the knowelege of it, it is totally possible for your character to have both.

2) What causes dysphoria

Seeing themself - If your character gets dysphoria by seeing themself, then that can include pictures, mirrors, reflections, and even just looking down. Basically, seeing themself can remind them that the way they look doesn’t match who they are.

Being misgendered - If your character is an AFAB boy, and someone calls him “she,” that can cause him to get dysphoric as his mind goes to what would have prompted that person to call him she. He might focus on a particular attribute that would have caused the person to read him as a boy instead of a girl.

Microaggressions - Similarly to being misgendered (which is a microaggression btw), other microaggressions can also cause dysphoria. Basically, if there’s something that puts into question a character’s validity as the gender they identify, that thing can also cause them dysphoria.

Being around other people - Sometimes, even if the people your character is around are nice and accepting, being around people could make your character dysphoric. There’s that question of “but do they really see me as <<gender identity>>, or are they just saying that?” That internal doubt can cause dysphoria, which in turn, increases doubt. Sometimes it can be a viscious cycle.

Clothes - If your character has to wear clothes that do not go with their gender, that is a very common way to cause dysphoria. For example, forcing a nonbinary or male character who prefers to look more andro or masculine into a dress could make them feel really dysphoric.

Literally no reason at all - Sometimes, your character may get dysphoric without much of a reason - or at least, without much of a reason that they can think of. It might be a stray thought or memory, or the dysphoria can just crop up. Even if they’re totally thinking of something else, dysphoria can take them by surprise. You are definitely allowed to include this in your writing.

3) Types of dysphoria (and common reactions)

Dysphoria can be based on basically every aspect of your physical appearance that you can think of, however, I’m going to talk about the ones that I have experience with. That does not include dysphoria around voice/vocal range or primary sex organs, though that is common, and you can probably find resourses on that elsewhere.

Facial/Body Hair - This can be a sense of frustration about not being able to grow facial hair such as a mustache or beard, or about body hair such as hair on your character’s legs, chest, etc. For example, your character may find that they feel more masculine and therefore more comfortable if they have unshaved legs. While facial hair is harder, you might write about your character avoiding shaving their legs/armpits/etc in an effort to grow more body hair.

Hair (as in hair on someone’s head) - Hair dysphoria can be very common, and can be especially bad if the person has long hair that they hate and cannot cut it because of potential punishment or consequence. If your character has long hair, then maybe that doesn’t feel right, and they prefer shorter hair. Or maybe they like the idea of having no hair at all. This usually comes from the fact that girls are taught how to take care of their hair - at least far more than men with long hair typically do, and longer sleek hair tends to look more feminine, causing people to read that person as feminine. Some hairstyles might be worse than others. For example, being easily able to see hair in a mirror, or feeling it against their neck might make a character’s hair dysphoria worse. You might write about your character tucking their hair inside their hat, or pulling it out of their faces in a more masculine style to try to minimize the femininity associated with it.

Chest - This is one of the more common ones, which likely has to do with how hard it is to deal, and how obvious it is visually. Basically, if an AFAB character has a chest (as in noticeable boobage) that can make them feel very uncomfortable. People are likely going to read them as female, even if they present more masculine in most other ways. You might write about your character trying to find clothes that minimize this shape, or binding their chest. 

note: if you depict your characters binding their chest, please do your research - lots of binding techniques that can cause damage, and that’s something to include in your story. IRL, never EVER bind with ace bandages. Period.

Hip/Waist - Naturally, AFAB people’s proportions are going to mean a narrower waist compared to larger hips. The wider hips come from how childbirth works. Because AMAB (assigned male at birth) people do not give birth to children, their hips are smaller. Hip/waist dysphoria can happen when someone’s proportions are not that typically associated with their gender identity. You might write about your character trying to find clothes that make this less visible, such as baggier clothes. 

If your character experiences dysphoria (and at this point I’m assuming they do given that you’ve made it this far), they might have some combination of these listed above, as well as some that are not listed. Most likely, one or two will be more prominant over the others, and will likely crop up more often, whereas others might only show up in very specific circumstances.

4) How dysphoria feels

I’ve yet to find something that just states clearly how dysphoria feels, leading me to believe it varies. However, what I’m listing are things that I experience, and may be a good starting point.

Intensity - This can vary drastically. I’m going to touch on this a bit more in point 5, but really it depends on the type of dysphoria, the location, who’s around, sleep, and your character’s energy levels. If your character is around people they’re comfortable/familiar with, it’s probably not going to be quite as bad because they’re less likely to worry that these people are being judgy. If your character is in a familiar location, they’re probably going to feel more in control, leading to not feeling quite as bad. If your character’s already had a taxing day (or if they just haven’t gotten enough sleep), that will easily make dysphoria worse (more on this soon). If your character is experiencing dysphoria that they don’t usually experience, they will more likely react more severely because they probably don’t know how to deal with it. If it’s a type of dysphoria that they are familiar with, there may (though this is not guarenteed) have more control of their situation, which will make dysphoria not so bad. That being said, if it’s far more intense then they’re expecting, that can have a feedback loop if they’re feeling out of control.

Feeling trapped - If your character’s feeling dysphoric or out of control, then they might also feel physically trapped, even if they don’t realize it’s dysphoria. It might feel like the walls are pressing in, that everything’s too close, that it’s too loud or everything’s too bright. Basically they’re going to feel overwhelmed by everything - especially if it’s outside their control. They might instinctively try to get outside, or somewhere quieter, and avoiding doing that can cause these feelings to get worse.

Ready to fight - I’m not talking mentally like wanting to hurt somebody, but rather physically ready to take action if need be. This can frequently come from feeling trapped. You might describe tenseness in your character’s arms, legs, and core from being ready to move, the need to just run or swim, or punch something. Use those muscles. You might talk about breathing becoming more deliberate, bringing more air into your character’s lungs.

Need to hide - Confusingly enough, this can happen at the same time as the Ready to fight response. Basically, you might describe your characters trying to make themselves less seen. Whether they focus on the aspect of their being that’s causing the dysphoria will depend on the severity of it, and if they know what’s causing their dysphoria. It’s equally likely to feel the need to hide in general. You might also describe them shrinking into a larger article of clothing such as a sweatshirt, moving toward the edge of a crowd and out of the middle, putting a hood up, hunching their shoulders, or sort of hugging themselves. 

Spark - I’m not particularly sure how to describe this, but it’s a sensation your characters might feel in their chest, more common with littler things, such as misgendering or other microaggressions. It’s like a little spark of physical hurt, that’s intense but goes away in less than a second. It’s hard to pin down because of how brief it is, but you might describe things that would go along with it such as your characters taking a small sharp intake of breath, flinching, stiffening, or blinking hard. 

Emotion - What emotions your character displays depends on their personality and the severity of the dysphoria they’re experiencing. If your character is having really bad dysphoria, and/or they’ve had a very trying day, you might talk about them having an emotional breakdown - maybe they just want their hair or chest to be gone. Or if they’re not the character type to have an emotional breakdown, then maybe they lose control of their temper more easily. Or maybe they’ve got worse judgement. I have heard of people who attempt to, or are ready to, cut off whatever’s causing the dysphoria, on a really bad day.

Depending on the severity of the dysphoria your character is experiencing, they may experience dysphoria for hours. Like up to six or seven, though the worst of it usually doesn’t last that long. Your characters may also experience several of these at a time, and/or not even realize the root source. Though if it happens frequently, they will likely be able to learn where it comes from and begin learning how to deal.

5) How dysphoria affects daily life

One of the biggest things that dysphoria does it drains energy. It’s like the spoon theory. (There’s a lot of resources about this, a quick search will probably pull up enough to explain this in more depth). Basically the theory is that you start your day with a certain amount of spoons. Every activity that you do uses spoons. If you run out of spoons, then you run out of the willpower and/or emotional energy to do anything.

Experiencing dysphoria takes up a lot more spoons than anyone would like, with the more intense and/or longer duration dysphoria taking up more spoons. This means that small things that would normally seem trivial might seem too big to take on. This goes for hanging out with friends, doing chores, doing homework, dealing with other problems that come up, taking care of yourself. Really a lot of what makes your characters functional human beings will seem a lot more difficult if they’ve had bad dysphoria.

Thank you for reading. Other trans people feel free to add more.

[tamamonomaes]

Clearing Up Misconceptions on How Gendered Language Works in Japanese

In specifically relation to Fate, how this effects how the characters present, and why these misconceptions could be interpreted as disrespectful to the Japanese trans community.

(DISCLAIMER: I am NOT cis like people seem to think! I realise you may assume that looking at me, but it's because of medical reasons. Corrections and input from native Japanese speakers welcome and encouraged!

1 The "I pronoun" is not indicative of gender as there is no such thing as a "personal pronoun. " The "I pronoun" is not primarily focused in gender, but rather, whether they are formal or informal, who you are talking to, sometimes your age, and what mood and tone you are trying to convey. "Ore" isn't a suitable option for a "personal pronoun" in the first place as it is informal and comes off extremely rude in some situations, like a job interview, so it is likely that the ore user is going to be switching to something more polite. For example, Astolfo's pronoun of boku is not indicative of them being male as its primary focus is to represent humbleness; yes it is "primarily" used for boys, however it is also considered "cute" for young girls; basically what Astolfo's use of boku can tell us about Astolfo is that Astolfo wants to be perceived as humble, and has an element of childishness to them.

2 Within the fandom, there seems to be this urge to binarise pronouns to support certain arguments that certain characters are cis and that certain characters are trans, when in actuality, the Japanese language is already far more diverse and expresses far more freedom in it's way of expressing pronouns and gender. The absolute biggest misunderstanding comes with the use of "ore" and "atashi." Basically, people believe that anyone who uses these pronouns wants to be perceived as either hyper feminine or hyper masculine, and if someone uses one of these pronouns, they want to be perceived as either female or male. However, this is simply not what these pronouns indicate at all. While atashi is traditionally considered feminine, gay men have adopted the pronoun as a means of talking casually without presenting; the same goes for ore. While it is true it is tradionally masculine, these days, it has evolved more to present the image of being casual, as well as youth wanting to sound tough. While a woman may not usually use ore irl, it is also true that anime characters don't actually talk like real Japanese people, and female characters in anime using ore is an actual thing.

You will often see this double standard that people will say they support pronouns not being idictitive of gender in English, ie, a he/him lesbian, but then binarise the Japanese language in the sense that atashi means you present female, and ore means you present male, like NB and trans Japanese don't exist. If you were told only women use atashi and. Men ore no shade, I'm just letting you know it's more complex than that. You see this particularly with ore as it creates a "tough" image, and people believe women don't want to, or even can't, be seen as tough. If you believe someone can use he/him and be female, for the sake of respect to the Japanese language and the nb community, I ask you to do the same for men who atashi and women who use ore.

3. Grammatically, Japanese doesn't actually require the use of she/him when reffering to others. This is why you don't see characters reacting to being misgendered because, quite often they just aren't there in the original. Since they are in English, this results in the translators own perception of the character affecting how they identify in the story. There are so many instances of transphobia in fate, however, because the series is handled by so many different writers and it's hard to track down who is responsible for what, I really shouldn't have to explain to you why it is disrespectful for you to put the Japanese writers at fault for getting angry because a character is being misgendered when you're literally reading a fan translation and the pronouns just aren't there in the first place. Please stop calling out "transphobia" on the writers part because you saw Astolfo being called a he in a fan translation, or even in NA where different translators with different views have to add pronouns in. There's bigger issues of transphobia you can be focusing on rather than non-existent pronouns. The only real way you can be sure if a character is being misgendered is to check the original Japanese. But reminder certain characters using the wrong pronouns, ie, Ophelia using she/her for Caenis does not necessarily reflect the views of the writers.

Contrary to what people think, Fate does actually have a way of acknowledging certain characters as GNC. This method isn't perfect and has problems, but Astolfo, Enkidu, D'eon and Avenger Nobunaga are all canonically considered GNC with the genderless attributes in Fgo. To me this includes trans as historically D'eon is a trans woman and Nobu a trans man, but nonbinary readings of these characters are still absolutely fair, so some may disagree. If you don't consider Nobu a trans man and instead nb, you could argue that the reason Mordred isn't included because the series may have a predudice to trans men considering they want waifus and have made historical men women instead.

[thisiswhymomworries]

How did you figure out you're a man? Gender is confusing

gender is very confusing, and I just dogpaddled in this great big Confusion Ocean toward anything that made me happy

I started out by realizing that even though wearing makeup and dresses and heels made me look very pretty and that validation made me happy, I was only happy about other people responding positively. it didn’t make me happy on its own, and was actually a huge pain to do every day

so I went more “butch” and eventually started buying clothes out of the boy’s section, and that DID make me happy. to the point that I started only wearing those and stopped wearing makeup entirely

then being called she, her, anything about being a woman, started to feel really wrong and aggravating, even though I’d spent years IDing as non-binary (knowing I am Not a woman is one of the few solid facts I’ve known about myself for sure, but I went to the non-binary label before trans male) and not caring or feeling bad / dysphoric about it

idk why that changed. maybe because I just started being more open with myself about what I really wanted, and I’d also sort of “proven” to myself that I *could be* beautiful and attractive as a femme-presenting person, which was important bc my entire childhood was about how ugly and weird I was, so I guess I just needed to reverse that in my mind before I could move forward with anything else

but then once I had learned how to dress fashionably and apply makeup well and “look pretty,” my brain was like “OK we accomplished that Fuck You so we’re totally done with that now” and suddenly it just wasn’t fun anymore  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

then I went through months of reacting very badly inside my own head every time someone misgendered me as female (before, thinking I was non-binary, I personally was just sort of resigned to the fact that no one would ever realize I was nb without me telling them, and it was “fair” for them to assume I was female, so it didn’t really bother me toooo much or feel like misgendering, but whoo boy did THAT change)

and also during those same Bad Months, struggling over whether I could still be happy IDing as non-binary, and just because I Was Not Female, that didn’t necessarily make me male, but also I liked wearing boy’s clothes and the thought of being a boy made me really happy and I started dreaming that I was a boy and one time my boss told me I was “a gentleman and a scholar” as just a silly joke but my dopamine receptors latched onto the word “gentleman” for like a week of happiness, soooo

I just started doing anything that would make me happy and dropping the things that didn’t. getting a binder made me happy, buying all boy’s clothes for my whole wardrobe has made me happy, and eventually I decided using he/him pronouns would make me happier than they/them pronouns

I’ve also been in therapy for the last several months specifically to have someone to talk to about this stuff, mostly just as a sounding board and someone to listen while I figure out how to verbalize my feelings, because that’s helped me understand WHAT I’m feeling a lot. I also went through a leadership program at my local equality center that let me test out using he/him pronouns and joined a transgender support group where I’ve made friends and also talked about it all!

as for non-binary vs trans male, I eventually realized the actually important part is that I’m Not Female. right now, at this moment, I’m happiER using he/him pronouns and being a trans male. maybe that’s because it’s “easier” in a way because I didn’t have to explain much while coming out at work and he/him is more common than they/them. maybe one day I’ll realize that being binary-male doesn’t quite fit and I’m more demi-boy or even go back to non-binary

but RIGHT NOW, it does make me happy and is easy and safe (at work, with my friends, and with my mother; I am very very lucky) to use that label. since I’m never going to wake up and feel like a cis woman, because I never have in my life so I see no reason for that to be fluid or change, there’s no point in clinging to it when something else could make me happy. and even if I do need to switch to non-binary, that’s not any LESS trans. that’s not like basically a girl. my cis coworkers would still consider me different from them and would still need to get used to new pronouns and a new appearance, so holding back on IDing as a trans male just because I’m not 100% certain I’m a MAN sometimes doesn’t make sense

so that’s how I ended up making the jump to declaring I’m a man, even though it took a really long time and I have doubts sometimes. that’s all OK, and I’m just going to do whatever I need to so I can be happy and live my best life, and so should you <3