#and sometimes when other adults talk about childhood i’m like. you know what. this was a rare and precious gift to receive

[machveil]

CoD Headcanon: Parallel Play

self indulgent? oh yes lol today I bring you my parallel play headcanons with: Simon “Ghost” Riley, John “Soap” MacTavish, and König!

tw: innuendos with John

context: parallel play is often seen with kids - where they ‘play’ without interacting (I’m sitting with my blocks, you’re sitting with your Barbie - we’re playing near each other, but not directly with each other). it can carry over into adults though, of course, since it is just a form of interaction

Simon “Ghost” Riley:

Simon doesn’t really know about the term parallel play, but he does do it. if he’s just gotten back from deployment, or he just needs some him time, he’ll do his own thing. that said, he does like to be able to see you so he’ll stay in the same room as you

he’s perfectly content watching a game on the couch while you scroll on your phone. he’s a big fan of comfortable silence between the two of you. he’ll check in sometimes with a, “How’re ya doin’, lovie?”, or asking what you’re looking at

he doesn’t specifically seek it out otherwise. if you need some time to yourself he understands. if you want him to leave the room he will… but he’ll be just outside the room. if he wants to be near you but you’re not in the mood he’ll drag a chair towards the room you’re in. he’ll grab his phone and sit outside the door while he waits for you to come out

if you bring it up later he pretends he doesn’t know what you’re talking about, “Hm? I was just relaxing, nothin’ more.”

John “Soap” MacTavish:

you like your personal space, so does John! you can do whatever you want, just know he’s going to come up behind you. you’re reading a book on an armchair? he’ll sit on the floor between your legs and poke around his phone - he wouldn’t mind poking around elsewhere though. you’re watching tv in bed? no problem, John will just take a nap next to you… he’ll just drape an arm and leg over you. course, he wouldn’t mind delaying the nap if you want to pay attention to him

he just likes touching you and being close. he’d rather be in your personal bubble while you’re doing something. granted, he knows when to back off. if you actually need a moment to yourself he’ll sulk, but he leaves the room. he tries his best to leave you alone but he’ll come back every five minutes asking questions, “Need a water? I can grab you a— nah? Okay.”, “Where’d you wan’ to eat tonight? I can make a reservation.”, or, “Hey, cannae find the remote, seen it?”

if you really, desperately need alone time your best bet is sending him off on errands or locking the door to the room you’re in. he’s a sweetheart, but he feels he’s doing his absolute best when giving you attention. I mean, when you give him attention it makes his problems go away for a while, he just wants to do that for you

he means well, but he wants to do stuff around you. besides, he’d have more fun partaking in a different type of parallel play…

König:

a man that knows what parallel play is, no doubt. he looked it up as an adult because he felt weird about not wanting to interact with people… but wanting to be near them? absolutely relieved to find out it’s a thing other people feel

not that he doesn’t like doing things with you, he absolutely does, but his go-to way of interacting with people in parallel play. he can read his little history book while you do your own hobbies. he likes a comfortable distance, you can sit on your bed, he’ll sit on a chair in the corner of your room

is so happy if you enjoy parallel play because it’s always comforted him. he used to do it a lot throughout his childhood and teen years, more often than not simply being in the same room as his mother. when it came to other kids? he was too awkward to approach them, and he felt comfortable just being near them (before problems surrounding his height and appearance came up)

of course, he wouldn’t mind if you sat with each other too, “Hm? Ja, come here, liebling. You can sit with me.”

[nxuvillette]

LOST IN TIME — WRIOTHESLEY

synopsis: you and wriothesley’s relationship ended years ago. neither of you thought you’d ever see each other again, until one night you both meet after years of being apart.

❥ pairings : wriothesley x fem!reader

❥ note : sorry for the inactivity !! i was kind of going through a slump, but i’m hopefully gonna start returning to a regular schedule. i hope you guys enjoy this !! reblogs are appreciated <3.

content warnings : nsfw [17+], fem!reader, ageless + blank blogs dni, mentions of childhood trauma (wriothesley), high school relationships (they’re both adults when meeting again !), alcohol consumption, breakups, some angst, fluff, car sex, creampie, use of pet names (baby , good girl), ex!wriothesley, vanilla sex.

You were never the type to dwell on the past. Whatever happened back then happened, and there was no way for you to control it. Time kept moving and it wouldn’t pause for you whatsoever. It was something everyone was told to move on from. 

However, you couldn’t exactly move on from one thing in your past.

Your ex, Wriothesley.

You and Wriothesley met when you were both in high school. Neither of you were in great headspace at the time, so you two connected over the fact that you were dealing with lots of pain during that time period. He wasn’t exactly the most responsible student. He often showed up late, talked back to adults, and he gained many enemies from his impressive stature. He was intimidating. Even you felt a bit of fear whenever he walked into a classroom, but he turned out to be a really nice guy. He sat next to you in your algebra class and asked you for a pencil since he came to school without his backpack. You gave him one and then ended up chatting towards the end of the period about school and other random things.

A lot of your friends questioned why you of all people spoke to Wriothesley. He wasn’t exactly the kind of guy who would speak to girls like you. You had perfect attendance, good grades, and a pretty decent friend circle. He was the opposite of you.

Eventually, those platonic feelings turned into romantic ones the more you got to know him. Wriothesley confided in you about many things pertaining to his home life. He was in and out of foster care due to his parents passing early on in his childhood, and it led to him being moved around a lot. He wasn’t exactly good at making friends because a lot of them came from these perfect homes. None of them would understand that feeling or his story. Although you couldn’t understand it either, you tried your best to see things through his lense. There was a reason he acted the way he did. 

You two then began dating a few months later. It was a perfect relationship. He treated you better than any ex of yours would, and he made you feel safe around him. He was somebody you could rely on. Despite many people frowning upon it, you never listened to their opinions. Wriothesley was someone you thought was your soulmate. It was young love, but to you, it was everything you ever wanted.

However, you did have some problems in your relationship.

You and Wriothesley had many arguments during your time dating. Sometimes he didn’t care for himself and he would miss school to do god knows what. You wanted him to do better for himself, but it didn’t seem like he was taking you as seriously as you thought he would. It would always end with him apologizing and buying you flowers or taking you out for a date to make up for the harsh words thrown around. He didn’t like fighting with you. He knew you wanted the best for him. He just had a hard time committing to the things he had promised to you. 

He always thought you two would date for a while, but that was until your senior year. At that point, you two had been dating for almost two years. Things weren’t bad, if anything, it was a lot better than it was early on. Neither of you considered your relationship to be toxic by any means. 

Unfortunately, things did come to an end.

You knew that you and Wriothesley were on two completely different paths in life. You wanted to go off to college and begin a career, and he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with his life. There wasn’t an issue with that, but you had a lot of doubt that the relationship would even work with the distance and your differences. Having to break up with him was one of the most difficult things you had to do. 

Wriothesley honestly didn’t understand why you wanted to leave him. You were absolutely everything to him, and he never was one to treat you poorly. However, he also knew that your feelings about it were valid. He didn’t know if he could handle a long distance relationship and you honestly deserve someone better than him. In a way, he knew he was dragging you down in life. He was the one blocking your way of becoming the absolute best, so he took the break up respectfully. He would always love you no matter what, and that’s what he told you. You didn’t think you would take it as hard as you did, but you knew it was for the better. 

As the years went on, you slowly forgot about your relationship with him. It wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to process while in college, but you often distracted yourself by going out with your roommate and other friends you made along the way. Soon enough, it was a thing of the past. 

It wasn’t until you came home to see your parents that all of the memories came flowing back to you.

You and your roommate had decided to move into an apartment close to your university, so you weren’t home as often as you normally would be. When you came by to visit, everything felt so nostalgic to you. You hadn’t been in your hometown for a little while and you weren’t sure where to even begin. 

You don’t know how you ended up at the bar just ten minutes away from your home. It wasn’t exactly packed for a Thursday evening, so you didn’t have to worry about weirdos at the bar hitting on you. You were sitting on your own, sipping on a random cocktail the bartender had made for you. Your mind wandered to many thoughts that only crossed when you were intoxicated. Your past, random embarrassing moments you wished you didn’t let happen, and your ex boyfriend from when you were in high school. 

You disliked that you thought about Wriothesley more than you should have. You two had broken up years ago. Why would you still have these thoughts about him? Maybe you could blame it on the fact that you hadn’t exactly had the best luck with romance while in college. There was no other man who was interested in you like Wriothesley was. Most of the men around you were only looking for something short term, or just a quick fuck that wouldn’t mean anything at the end of the day. It was honestly a shame, but you shouldn’t have had such high expectations. Maybe you were a fool. 

You didn’t pay much attention to the presence that had appeared next to you. You assumed it was some random person who needed a drink just like you did. 

“Yeah, whiskey and coke, please.”

Your heart stopped when you heard the smooth voice speak beside you. A part of you didn’t wanna believe there was a possibility he was here after just thinking about him, but could luck be on your side? It took a lot of courage, but you eventually turned your head to place your eyes on the man beside you. There he was. Your ex, Wriothesley was sitting right beside you. You weren’t sure if you should even speak up and talk to him. Neither of you had crossed paths in years and you didn’t know if he would even want to talk to you. 

It didn’t take long for him to notice your staring, and soon enough, Wriothesley’s eyes made contact with yours. You never forgot the color of his ice blue eyes. He looked much older than he did before, obviously, but he seemed more mature. His body also seemed a lot more bulky than it was back in high school. Despite that, his scars still remain etched into his skin as permanent reminders of his past. 

“(Y/N)..?” your name left his lips in a whisper, seemingly shocked by your presence. 

You felt your heart rate begin to speed up from seeing his face. You didn’t think he would stay, but he sat there in his seat like a deer in headlights. You weren’t sure how to even respond. It was awkward. “H-Hi.. Wriothesley..” you said, trying to ease the awkward tension in the air. It felt so uncomfortable, but you didn’t want to leave. 

Wriothesley blinked, trying to take in the realization that you were sitting right in front of him. He hadn’t seen you in years. He vaguely recalled going to your home the day you left for college. He felt like shit knowing you were gone and he couldn’t say what he wanted to. It had been so long. It was like you were a completely different person, but at the same time he recognized you. He thought you were still as beautiful as you were the day he first laid his eyes on you. “Hey.. how are you? It’s been a while..” he turned his body to face you, giving you the chance to see his physical changes.

You laughed through your nose. Relief washed over you when you saw his soft smile appearing on his face. You thought he would just walk away, considering you were the one who broke up with him. “I’m good! How about you?” you asked, sipping your drink to try and calm your nerves.

He honestly was sitting there in disbelief. He didn’t think he’d ever have the chance to speak to you again. “I’m doing alright, haha! How has college been for you?” he questioned, nodding his head.

The conversation between you felt so weird. It was like you two were strangers, but at the same time you knew so much about one another. There was a time in your life where Wriothesley played such a significant role through your teenage years. You didn’t wanna see it that way, but it was difficult knowing there was so much that you missed. Did he ever get away from foster care? He was now over eighteen, so it’s not like he could be cared for anymore by a random family. Did he pursue his dreams of becoming involved in law enforcement? There were so many questions you had yet to be answered. 

Wriothesley revealed so much to you. He spoke about how he was able to go and apply to be a security guard at one of the clubs downtown, and with that money he managed to move out and get his own place. He seemed to be doing so much better in life than he was when you first met. He had somewhat of a personality shift as well. There was more maturity in his words and he listened more than he would talk. He was happy you were doing good in life. He wanted nothing but the best for you ever since you two had broken things off.

The evening hours crept up on you two, and the bar had become a little busier than it normally was. The alcohol in your veins also made you loosen up around Wriothesley. He felt the same way, but he was a little more sober than you were. He had a better grip on himself. It was honestly really nice to catch up with you. He really missed you. He didn’t like admitting it to others, but he often yearned to see your face walking around town. There was so much he wanted to say, but he wasn’t sure how to put it into words without sounding weird or making things awkward. 

“Do you need a ride home..?” he downed the rest of his drink within his glass. The last thing he wanted was for you to go home being slightly intoxicated and on your own. 

You hesitated for a second. You didn’t want to give the wrong idea to Wriothesley, but there was the part of you that would feel a lot safer if he was around you. “S-Sure!” you replied, picking up your things off of the table in front of you.

Wriothesley stood up, leaving cash for both of your drinks which you didn’t expect. Standing beside him made you feel somewhat embarrassed. It was like he grew overnight with how broad his body had become over the years. You never thought he would be the type to work out. He talked about it a little while back, but the way he looked now was insane to you. 

The two of you left the bar and entered outside. The air nipped at your skin from the slight chill that was in the atmosphere. Wriothesley walked over to his car that was parked in the lot. It was a really nice one, too. You pulled open the passenger side door and climbed in, getting hit with the strong aroma of his cologne that lingered around his vehicle. Once he climbed in, he glanced at you briefly. It almost seemed like he wanted to say something to you, but he decided not to at the last minute.

The car ride back was quiet. Neither of you spoke, and you honestly thought that’s where it would end. 

But, it didn’t.

Once he arrived outside of your house, there was something brewing between you two that was bound to burst at any moment. You didn’t know if maybe it was his cologne or how the alcohol made you bolder, but clearly there was something going on and both of you seemed a little hesitant to make a move.

However, that didn’t last long, because Wriothesley was the one who planted a kiss on your lips. 

It felt so familiar to you. Every little memory from your relationship played in your mind, making you recall things you thought you had forgotten. You missed it all. You missed his touch, his kisses, his hair that your nails used to dig into when you would make out, the way he would nibble at your neck to turn you on. It didn’t take long for you to end up on his lap with his hands all over your body. His kisses were rough, but passionate at the same time. It brought you back to the many times you two would make out in your bedroom while your parents were out of the house. God, you missed those days. Everything was so much more simple back then. 

Wriothesley’s hands lifted up your skirt, squeezing the plush of your ass. He remembered every little part of your body. He knew you so well. It didn’t matter how long you two had been apart. “Fuck.. I’ve missed you so much..” he whispered against your lips. “You don’t know how badly I wanted to go and find you..”

A whimper came from your lips when you felt his hardened cock brush against your clothed pussy. There was a part of you that wondered if you should actually be doing this. You two were ex’s. You were meant to be apart, but there was just so much about Wriothesley that you craved. He was practically your first everything back then, and those things are hard to just forget. “Missed you more, Wrio..” you panted, looking into his eyes. “Please.. I need you.”

He was a bit taken back when you guided his hand to your soaked underwear. His dick practically twitched when he made contact with your arousal. He remembered how easy it was to get you riled up. It seemed like that didn’t change at all. 

He wasted no time and pushed your panties aside to begin rubbing your clit. Your hand flew to hold onto his muscular shoulders. It felt so good. His fingers were all too familiar to you, and you loved it more than anything else. Wriothesley then pulled you in for a sloppy kiss. He swallowed every one of your pretty moans that kept leaving your throat. He just couldn’t get enough of you. 

Wriothesley’s hand left your clit several seconds later. His fingers fumbled with the buckle of his belt. You could tell he was rushing. “I need you now.” he looked at you then down at his pants where he began to pull them off.

You watched as his cock sprang out of his boxers. The tip was leaking precum. You somewhat forgot how big he was. The girth was quite large and his size was one that you thought you wouldn’t be able to take the first time. 

He placed his forehead against yours while his tip glossed over your wet cunt. You moaned in pleasure when he made contact with your sensitive bud. “Are you sure you wanna do this..?” he was breathing heavily, showing just how desperate he was for you. “We don’t have to.. but I just need to know now.”

You nodded almost immediately. “Y-Yes! Please, Wriothesley, I can’t wait anymore..” you begged, grinding your hips against him.

Wriothesley didn’t hesitate before pushing his cock into you. Both of you let out loud noises at the sensation of being in each other’s embrace. It had been so fucking long since you felt Wriothesley inside of you. He was stretching you out completely. There was this burning feeling, but you didn’t mind it all. It quickly faded to pleasure the moment he started moving his hips into you. His hands went to your waist where he started guiding you. There was nobody else like you. He loved you. It didn’t matter how far you went, Wriothesley always had that love for you. He knew it sounded dumb to be still thinking about his teenage love, but there was so much about you he just couldn’t get over.

It didn’t take long for him to find your g-spot. He could see in your expression how good you felt when he kissed it with his tip. You could hardly believe this was happening. You never thought you would be able to have sex with him again, but you had zero regrets in your mind about it. 

Your fingers laced into his onyx colored hair. You were so lost in bliss. He was better than any lame college hookup you had before. Part of you questioned why you even decided to leave him at the time. Sure, you two were on different wavelengths in life, but he was still a great guy regardless. He treated you like a princess. He never made you feel insecure or unwanted. He was perfect. “W-Wrio..! Yes, yes! Feels so good!” you cried, digging your nails into his scalp.

His grip on you tightened as you kept moaning for him. It was like he was reliving a dream he had. You were so beautiful. He didn’t wanna keep missing you anymore. “Yeah, you like it, baby? I missed you so bad.. I never stopped waiting for you, (Y/N). ‘M always gonna love you..” he captured your lips in another kiss that left you breathless. 

Your cheeks turned hot when he said those words to you. You thought after all of this time Wriothesley would hate you for breaking up with him. There was doubt in your mind that he would even wanna see you again, but hearing that he still loved you made you feel relieved. You still loved him too. “Missed you more.. Wriothesley! I love y-you!” you made eye contact with him. 

He was surprised to hear that you felt the same towards him. He assumed for so long you had moved on and found somebody else while you were in university. Somebody that was better than him in many aspects. Nonetheless, he didn’t care to question you. You of all people would never lie to Wriothesley, so he trusted your words more than anything else. 

Without warning, Wriothesley’s pace picked up. His balls began to smack against your puffy clit. Your vision grew hazy from the amount of pleasure that was rushing through your body. The pit in your belly was growing deeper, implying your orgasm was on the brink of reaching you. Wriothesley could sense it, too. Your pussy was squeezing his cock so hard that he thought it would be difficult for him to even think about pulling out of you. There was so much you two had to make up for. 

“Wriothesley.. I’m gonna cum!” your hands gripped his shoulders. 

His larger hand went around your throat. You could hear the way he was grunting. It sounded so erotic. “C’mon, baby, cum all over my dick..” he said, his voice sounding deep. “Be a good girl..”

Your cunt then clamped around his cock. A deep groan rumbled in his throat as he felt his own high reach him. His cum filled your womb, making you shiver from the warmth that was spreading from your belly. You could hardly keep yourself upwards from how tired your body was. You felt yourself slumping against him. 

His arm went to wrap around your waist, placing his chin atop of the crown of your head. He honestly missed nights like these, and he wasn’t going to let it slip away ever again.

© NXUVILLETTE ┆ all rights reserved, do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

[queenof3ferrets]

I don’t think people realize how deep Vil’s character goes. Like-REALLY realize it.

I am an aspiring writer, and I would say I have quite the keen eye so when I see people talking bad about Vil—-I get confused.

YES he seems harsh and pushy. And YES he doesn’t seem to act very nice around people sometimes and he acts cocky 24/7.

But there’s a difference between cocky and knowing your worth. Vil KNOWS his worth. And he isn’t just going to hide it because someone says so. Or because it’s easier to be modest and quiet.

And it’s what Vil is constantly encouraging others to do: to not hide.

But Vil also knows how harsh the world is. An actor can be one of the most hated people in the world because they’re constantly being filmed and people jump on their mistakes like lions hunting a limping giraffe.

So he KNOWS that a glass heart will get someone nowhere.

It’s why he acts so tough. And it’s why he gives tough love to others. If he never teaches his dorm members how to survive they’ll roll over and get killed the moment they step onto the field.

Hence, his harsh actions with Epel.

When Epel cries and storms off, Vil doesn’t scold him for it. He tells Epel to show him if he can hold his ground with his words. And how beauty is a weapon to be wielded well.

Vil scolds Epel when he calls dancing ‘feminine’ or ‘girly’ because he knows that mindset will get the boy nowhere. Vil knows beauty isn’t limited only to the female spectrum and tries to get others to see it as well.

It’s why Vil is so annoyed when Epel skips his routine but also because having a routine and ACTUALLY sticking to it is the hardest thing for some people. And Vil talks about this. (When you log in for the day and you get a reward, Vil LITERALLY talks about how routine and effort is the hardest part about beauty) and if you do keep up the effort it gives rewards.

But Vil also knows not all effort is repaid kindly.

That’s the whole reason he overblotted, basically. He felt inferior because no one saw him put in as much effort as he himself did, and people have the gall to scold him for it. That, or they overlook him for something they thought was better(Neige).

When I write, I don’t EVER want to hear someone I TRUSTED say that my work was second best to another author or that my way of writing was wrong and I should have to change it. Because I put time and effort into writing and it’s something I’m proud of. I put my soul into my writing and it honestly really hurts when someone does the exact things I mentioned before. And I’m sure Vil felt the same way.

Not to mention Vil has been through rough things in his childhood. Other children wanted to hurt him because of his talent for acting just because he played a part in a series too well and they couldn’t tell the difference. Adults never thought he could be a hero because he was too perfect and self-confident. Adults wanted someone like Neige to be the hero because he looked pretty and acted kind. (Basic protagonist things)

And Vil hated it. He gained traumas at a young age because other people alienated him. He grew to hate Neige because in the people’s eyes he was perfect and beautiful. And he grew obsessed with beauty because he didn’t think he was good enough for the hero roll.

His overblot was overdue at this point. Sure his actions should not be immediately forgiven, just like all the other overblotters actions, but they’re NEVER entirely to blame.

Because all of the boys who overblot were victims too. Not just Yuu or the others. They were hurting themselves just as much as others were.

And I hate it when someone like Vil is seen as a overly harsh person. Or someone like Leona who is only seen as lazy. There is so much more to them than that.

Vil respects people.

Vil sees how hard the people around him work.

Vil tries his best to show others their beauty in his way.

Vil knows that gems need to be polished from rocks before they can be embedded into a crown. But the work put in to get the gems ready is rough and long. And sometimes it looks harsh.

Vil learned his lesson after his overblot. There is no need to hang it over his head like blackmail. The same goes for the other overblot characters.

Riddle learned his lesson.

Leona learned his lesson.

Azul learned his lesson.

Jamil learned his lesson.

Vil learned his lesson.

Idia and Ortho learned their lessons.

[laelelinae]

Hi!! Can you please do childhood besties to lovers hc for my man kuroo

Take care of yourself

:-🧚🏻‍♀️anon

Childhood friends to lovers . ° 。 · (kids to hs to adults)

haha this is kinda a nonsense,I was so tired while writing this (sent help)

warnings: nonsense ahahahahzhgagagagag😈😈😈 (I’m tweaking)

The first time this man met you as a kid with Kenma he instantly went (

“I’m gonna marry her someday!” HE SAID THAT SO CONFIDENTLY AND LOUDLY.

Kenma gave him a “are you serious?” Look ..ouch

Lil kuroo ignored kenma as he went up to you (he randomly picked some flower that was near him in the grass area 😔

He came up to you and was like

“Hey you! I’m gonna marry you someday”

boy, Kenma instantly acted like he didn’t know him HSHSH

Little you chuckled at this boy behavior. YOU BLUSHED😝

“Really?” You asked him and he replied “really! Is a promise!”

SOO YOU GUYS FAKE MARRIED AT THE PARK AND THATS HOW YOUR FRIENDSHIP STARTED!!

. . .

You dragged him to introduce him to your parents,he did the same!

Andddd your parents also got along with each other (they are the type to say like “yeah..I will make y/n marry kuroo!”)

You guys went to the same elementary school but you were a year younger than him,so you’re in the same year as Kenma! You guys honestly vibe together

. . .

You and Kenma was like good friends too,literally only you and kuroo understood him😭

Kuroo is honestly kinda jealous of you spending time with Kenma due to the year gap…😞

Stops by a lot to check up on you and Kenma!

Literally was ripping his hair out,realizing once he graduated 6th grade ,he would have to leave you and Kenma alone for a year 💀 (he was overreacting)

Once you got into the same middle school as him with Kenma (BOY ONCE THIS MAN JUST HIT PUBERTY..)

He got way more bold and flirty also “annoying” to Kenma😭

EVERYONE in your middle school thought Kuroo was your boyfriend 💀

Kenma sometimes nudged you about it in a lazy way since he can clearly tell you two had some sort of thing but you can’t even see it yourselves?!

He went like “oh by the way..your boyfriend told me to go find him afterschool”

You would blush so hard and smacked him (kenma doesn’t mind it tbh)

YOU WOULD HAVE SLEEPOVERS WITH THE TWO AWH

Your parents often ask you “is Kuroo coming?” “Were you out with Kuroo?” “WHEN ARE YOU GONNA DATE HIM?” (Your parents LOVES HIM)

You never got in any relationship bc you weren’t sure and you wanted to focus on your future and your work yk?

And..when high school hits..

When Kuroo was in second year,you and Kenma was in first year..

KUROO FUCKING ASKED YOU OUT

Kenma was NOT surprised at all

And of course ,you accepted it but your relationship was like yk..kinda awkward ?

After an year,when he was in his third year and you were in your second year

You two broke things off since you felt like it was too bothering for your career path yk?

He understood why,your parents did,Kenma did and yourself did

Kuroo lowkey was depressed 😭

After graduation,etc bla bla..

You became a manager for Hinata’s MSBY team

You had this job bc of Kenma helping ya since you kinda already knew Hinata in high school.

You didn’t talk to Kuroo that much anymore after graduation,he was busy with his future but you heard he became some association job in japans volleyball supply service department

Lowkey you missed him (kenma could tell👎)

And one dayyy…during one of the team meetings for MSBY Mr kuroo showed up😨

Your jaw DROPPED when you saw him (he did too,it was just inside his mind)

After that meeting,blud chased you down to talk to you

And you guys started talking again!😨

After a year or so ,you guys did got closer over the time again and his inner child came out 😭

Just once again that silly kuroo you know..

Andddd one day,he took you out on a “platonic” date

And..

“Y/n,can we try to date again?” HUHUHUHU

OFC YOU SAID YES BAHAH

This time was way better than what it was in high school,you two were wayyy happier and can manage the relationship easily.

After like errrrhh one year with Kuroo,one random night he brought to some beach and it was such a pretty view (lowkey was giving the song sweater weather,im listening to it while writing this lol)

“Y/n,remember the promise we made?”

“Which one”

“Our first ever promise.”

“The one where you said your gonna marry me?”

“Mhm”

HE GOT ON ONE KNEE AND THEN PULLS OUT A FANCY AHHH RING

YOU WERE GONNA PASS OUT LMFAOAOA

AND OFCCCCC YOU SAID YESSS <333333

. . .

Honestly you two first told Kenma and he gave you a proud ahh smile like “wow,finally.” LMFAO

When your parents knew ,they were SO happy and your mom was talking to Kuroos was like “SEE THEY ARE MARRIED NOW”

LMFAOAOA EVERYONE KNEW YOU GUYS WERE CELEBRATING HAHA

Honestly kuroo is just the greatest husband <3

You love him,he loves you too.

[sebsxphia]

The “who hurt you “ trope but you show up at Rhetts door at 2am

-🥊😘

“who hurt you?”

rhett abbott x reader.

￫ c/w: mentions of violence and injury, descriptions of injury, mentions of abuse, swearing, kissing, rhett is a big softie who wants to protect you.

￫ a/n: @sandbarbirdie bIRDIE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS TROPE WITH RHETT, TURN THIS UPPP <3 i started writing this and it turned into a full fic, woah! i understand this topic is heavy so please, please dm or inbox me with any c/w that i’ve missed or if you just want to talk, i’m here to listen, always. my main masterlist can be found here! 💌

Rhett’s sure he heard the knocking on his front door. He was coming out of his slumber and couldn’t work out if it was in his dream, or real life, but then he heard the knocking again, far louder this time. He was sure that it was a pounding on his front door. He slipped on a pair of boxers from the day before and a plaid shirt was thrown haphazardly over his shoulders. It was freezing during the Wabang winters now and he would be damned if he was going to catch a cold.

He padded down the stairs and into his hallway to hear another pounding. His door was shaking with the force. “I’m coming, Jesus fu—” He unlocked the door and opened it to see you with your hands wrapped tightly around your arms, and trying to incase some of the warmth into your shaking frame from the cold. You peered up at him and squinted your eyes at the warm brightness inside his home. The light purple bruise on your eye that was starting to form made it harder to look at him. The gash on the side of your temple was boring into your skull, with dried blood trickling down onto your cheek. “Jesus Christ.” He muttered under his breath and your name in tow, before ushering you quickly you inside.

He shed the plaid shirt and wrapped it around your quivering shoulders. He gently cupped your face in the hallway where you both stood still and tilted you up to look at him. He was hyper-aware that there could be other injuries he wasn’t aware of. You looked at him with guilt spreading across your face. It was sheepish almost, but Rhett wore a look of only worry on his face.

“Who hurt you?” His tone was firm and unwavering.

You were childhood sweethearts long ago and you’d both enjoyed your younger teenage years together and early adult lives, but things got in the way and you were no longer together.

“Shit happens,” Is what you told Rhett, however you found in the more recent months, you were getting closer to each other again. Sometimes you wondered late at night if you could ever truly tear apart from one another. The relationship you held with each other could never be argued about or even understood. The only thing he knew is that he would bury someone in the ground for you and protect you with his still, beating heart.

His eyes bore into yours awaiting your reply. He was waiting for the name of who he was going to ruin the next day. You knew your Rhett and his tendencies to loose all control over anyone who would even dare to look your way, so you opted for the safer option, not looking him in the eye when you told him. You pulled away from his soft hold and stumbled to the kitchen chair and slouched down. “Darren.” You muttered out, looking down at your scuffed cowboy boots, a gift from Rhett for your twenty first birthday.

“Darren.” Rhett repeated with a grunt and clenched fists by his sides. Darren was your new fling and while Rhett knew about him, and he knew he had no real hold on you anymore, it burned at his insides like acid. Rhett also knew he had no place to ask what you were doing with Darren, but he needed to know why you showed up at his door at two in the morning with blood running down your face and a nasty bruise forming on your eye.

Rhett reached for the first aid kit in the top kitchen cupboard and came to kneel by your side in the dimly lit kitchen. His nostrils were flared and you saw how he was trying to steady his breathing. Shallow and deep breaths came out of him, and you knew he was already plotting his downfall.

Rhett broke the tense silence first. “What the fuck did Darren do t’ you, angel?”

That name. Fuck sake. That fucking name. Rhett’s words were laced with venom, poised and ready to attack your attacker but the name “angel,” simply made tears swell in your eyes and it stung the bruised one. You remembered when Rhett called you angel. It was always during the softer times at night when your bodies were entwined with each other, talking about your future together, or when he consoled you after you didn’t get into your dream college.

“He wasn’t aiming for me. He went for some guy standing next to me, but he ducked at the right time and Darren’s fist met me instead.”

Rhett scoffed and made a mental note that Darren had a lazy punch. That would be good to know for tomorrow.

He dipped the cotton ball in the luke warm water and dabbed cautiously at the wound on your temple. You let out a hiss, gritting your teeth together and scrunching your eyes shut. Another groan left your chapped lips as the pain in your eye swelled from the scrunching. You felt one of Rhett’s hands rest on your jean clad thigh and give it a reassuring squeeze, his thumb running soothing circles over your flesh. “I know, I know. It’s gon’ sting, I’m sorry.” Rhett never apologised to anyone. Only you.

“If it were me punching some guy f’ you, I wouldn’t do it anywhere near you.”

You huffed out a small laugh at Rhett’s attempt to ease the pain. “I know. I remember.” You reminded him.

“Did you drive?”

You hesitated on your answer. No matter the response, it wasn’t going to help you try and hide what happened.

“No, I ran.”

Rhett’s eyebrows twisted downwards ever so slightly.

“I live a good mile away from town, angel.”

“After everything happened I screamed at Darren, like I lost it Rhett.” You twiddled with the hem of your t-shirt as Rhett continued to patch you up. You still couldn’t look at him. You felt shame clouding your senses. “He lost it back at me. I’d never seen him like that. I mean sure, we’ve only been dating like a month, but… But you really see peoples true colours when they’re drunk, huh.”

Your statement was laced with a double meaning. You remembered when Rhett got drunk, sure he would defend you within an inch of your life, but he would never scream at you. Never. He would cling to you all night and whisper sweet nothings in your ear about how you were the only one for him. It stung more than the wound on the side of your face to know that you might’ve lost that.

Rhett stuck a butterfly band aid to the side of your face and cleaned up the rest of your blood. “‘nd the gash?” He paused. “He punched you, angel. Y’ don’t get that after a blow t’ the eye.”

Now Rhett was finished with bandaging you up, he could slip his hands to yours and give them a light squeeze. He wanted you to know that he was here. He was going to listen to anything you had to say and reassure you with all his might. The tears that had pooled in your eyes from before were now slipping over and onto your cheeks. You held his gaze and bit your bottom lip harshly. You were trying to stop the sobs that wanted to tear from your throat. You winced as you reminisced what followed after and how you got the gash.

You didn’t need to say it, Rhett knew.

His eyes softened at seeing you like this. He wanted to reassure you that he heard you, but he felt a bile form in his throat. He could feel it threatening to spew out of him. The idea of someone intentionally hurting his angel made him nauseous.

“I was s’ scared. I didn’t know anywhere else to go, expect here.” You blubbered out between small sobs now leaving your throat. Rhett shuffled closer to you and removed his hands from yours to hold your face again, lovingly.

“You don’t have t’ be scared anymore, angel. Y’ can always find your way back home ‘ere.”

You nodded in his hands and gave him a thankful look with all you could muster without your face contorting into pain again.

“Can I stay with you tonight, Rhett? Please?”

Rhett was baffled that you even had to ask, but he understood that the injuries could very easily adhere your thinking.

“Of course, angel. I’ll always protect you.” A featherlight kiss was pressed to your cheek. He could taste your salty tears and it only made his insides wrench further in disgust at the man, no boy, who hurt you. No man would do this.

He bent down and wrapped his arms around your waist, and you instinctively hoisted yourself onto his. You rested your head into the crook of his shoulder. One hand cradled your legs as they attached to his hips and another softly smoothed over the back of your hair. You inhaled his familiar scent of cedar wood and spearmint. You felt safe as Rhett carried you to his bed that was once yours as well.

He sat you on what used to be your side of the bed and the mattress moved underneath you, as if to welcome your figure that once laid there. He gently shed you of his plaid shirt and your t-shirt underneath. In between the loss of your clothes, he pressed another feather light kiss to your cheek.

“You okay?” He checked in with you. When you nodded in response, he retrieved your old sleep shirt from his chest of drawers. He shed a slither of embarrassment at the prospect of still keeping your clothes, but it melted away when you accepted it with the first smile on your face that he had seen all evening.

“Arms up,” His voice was a soft instruction. You did as he asked and he slipped the top over you. It fitted like a warm hug, something that always fitted you perfectly. Just like Rhett. “I’ll help y’ take off y’ jeans now alright, angel?” He knelt down and brushed his fingers over the button and zipper. He un-did them with ease and slipped your jeans off. It was like you were a deer that he had seen in the forest who he didn’t want to spook. You’d always appreciated Rhett’s softer side.

However, his softness contorted into ferocious anger once again on his face. His eyebrows furrowed as he saw the second graze on your kneecap. “I fell to my knees after, he— he—” Your voice wavered again and you felt the tears sting at your waterline once more.

“I know, angel. I know. It’s not as bad as the others, I can patch it up tomorrow, alright?” Rhett reached up to wipe the one tear off your cheek. His lips gently met your flesh just above the graze on your kneecap and you sniffled at his adoring touch.

All clothes and shoes were now shed, and he picked up the empty glass on his bedside table. He went to leave the room but you stopped him in the doorway with a hold on his wrist. You looked at him with a pleading look and a small pout on your lips. You didn’t want him to leave you.

“It’s okay, angel. I’m jus’ goin’ t’ the bathroom t’ get you some water.” You hesitantly let go and got back into bed, shuffling up to the headboard and tucking your knees under your chin.

The weight of the mattress dipped again when Rhett sat next to you. He held the glass at the base while your still trembling hands held onto one side, helping you drink. “I’ll fill it up again for the night ‘nd then come into bed with you, alright?” He pressed a kiss to your temple, the side that wasn’t injured. You nodded in response and pulled the covers over your body, and slouched down into the pillows.

They smelt like Rhett, and you inhaled his scent and hair products again, deeper this time. The smell that flooded your nostrils made you inhale deeply. You felt a breath you’d been holding onto all night slip out. Rhett came back and made his way round to the other side of the bed. He slinked in beside you and you could feel his fingers rest on your upper arm first, testing the waters. He felt you relax under his touch and he took it as a welcome signal. You shuffled back into him and he slid his arm around yours and pulled you into his warm chest, his chin resting just above your head.

Another kiss was placed to the top of your head and you heard Rhett speak up, his drawl coaxing his words. A familiarity you’d missed so much recently. “You’re safe, angel. I’m never lettin’ you go again.”

That was the last thing you heard Rhett murmur to you before you fell asleep in his arms. Safe at last.

taglist:

@tallrock35

@iloveprettyboysblog

[lionlena]

Unforgivable mistake (JoelMillerxreader) Part 6

Summary: Reader is much younger than Joel and is in love with  him. One night, after arguing with Tess and getting drunk, Joel spends  the night with a reader, but in the morning he breaks her heart…  She  runs away from Boston hoping that she will never meet this cold bastard  again in her life. But almost six years later, she unexpectedly sees  Joel in Jackson. She decides to hide herself and her little secret from  this asshole.

Warnings: age gap (reader is about 28 years, Joel 58),  strong language, swearing, past trauma, bullying, attempted rape, memories of sexual abuse, unprotect p in v,  dom!Joel, Joel is asshole, ANGST, hurt, sadness and heartbreaking, sexual harassment, women abuse, violence, injury, sickness.

Part 6

"Mommy, you should kiss Joel."

You nearly dropped the laundry you were hanging outside when you heard what your toddler said. You looked at your son in shock.

"Where did that idea come from, honey?"

Teddy sighed and said, "Because Joel is sad and you always give me a kiss when I'm sad and that helps."

"Oh" was all you could say.

Joel had actually been sadder for the past few days. He was even more reticent and didn't even react to Ellie's taunts. You didn't know if it was because of your talk about forgiveness or the fact that Maria and Tommy were expecting a baby. Well, You thought that was good news, but did Joel was jealous? He had Teddy, after all. He got a second chance.

"Mommy."

You heard your son's impatient voice and realized that "Oh" wasn't considered a sufficient answer. You knelt down next to him and said, "I'm afraid it doesn't work on adults as it does on children. I think Joel might feel weird if I kissed him."

Teddy frowned. "Then hug him... You hugging Aunt Claudia when she's sad."

"You hugging him, and that's better than my hug."

Your son made a sad face, and you felt like you let him down. In his childhood mind, sometimes everything was so simple and you envied him that.

"You know what helps me when I'm sad?" The little boy looked at you curiously. "When you give me drawings and flowers. Maybe after I finish work at the stables, we can go to the meadow so you can pick flowers for Joel?"

"Okay, but if that doesn't help, promise me you'll hug him."

You sighed heavily and nodded your head.

At the stables, you were still thinking about what Teddy said. Maybe you should talk to Joel? He didn't really have anyone in Jackson except Tommy, Ellie, and Teddy... And you. He still had a strained relationship with his brother, and the children were hardly suitable for serious conversations. So everything was on you. And your two relationship has improved. When you saw him, you didn't just think about how badly he hurt you, but how he changed for the better.

You stopped brushing Jupiter for a moment and looked back to see your son, who was throwing straw into an empty stall. In fact, he lost most of the straw along the way, but he looked so cute. He wanted to help you, like his dad.

You were so lost in thought that you didn't notice that you were approaching to place where another horse had bitten Jupiter. The wound still hurt him, and though he was a nice horse, he reacted to pain like any other animal. He whinnied loudly and jumped up sharply. You managed to dodge the kick, but you staggered and stumbled. You hit your head on the post that was between the horse's boxes. It got dark before your eyes and the last thing you remember was your son's frightened scream.

*

Teddy knew he had to call for help. He ran out of the stable and began to run as fast as his little legs would allow him. However, he passed several people and did not stop. Even when someone tried to stop him. In his mind, only one person could save you.

"Joel!" he shouted as he saw a familiar figure.

Joel was just walking with Ellie to the dining room when he heard his son scream. He immediately turned around and knelt down to catch the kid who practically ran into him. He immediately noticed that the little boy was terrified.

"Teddy, what happened?"

He gently grabbed his shoulders and started looking for any injuries, but the baby boy seemed to be fine. Teddy struggled to catch his breath, tears streaming down his face.

"Mama," he finally choked out.

Joel was immediately overwhelmed by a wave of terror.

"What about mom?" He asked.

The boy barely spoke. "Ho… Horse... Kick" he said between sobs.

Joel didn't need any more. He looked at Ellie, who seemed as scared as Teddy.

"Stay with him. I'm running to her."

The girl nodded and grabbed the boy's hand as Joel ran to the stables.

*

When you woke up you felt a terrible headache. Your ears were ringing and your vision was blurred, but only one thing mattered to you. Your son.

"Teddy," you croaked.

You got up with difficulty. You felt like a newborn foal that couldn't catch its balance. You slowly took a step by step, sticking to the wall. As you were about to leave, Joel suddenly ran up to you. He grabbed your sides and held you tight.

"Y/N, what happened?"

You heard the worry in his voice.

"Jupiter got angry... I jumped back, but I think I hit my head on something hard... Where's Teddy?"

Joel stroked your cheek, then ran his hand over the back of your head and was relieved to see that there was no blood on his fingers.

"Teddy is with Ellie. He's fine. He's just scared."

As soon as you heard that, you felt your strength leave you. You stayed on your feet only because fear for your son was your motivation. Joel immediately lifted you up and said, "Okay. You need medical attention."

"No" you moaned and rested your head against his chest. "Just not Anderson."

Joel sighed. "Then what am I supposed to do?"

"Take me home and call Wanda. She used to be a nurse."

"Okay," he whispered and brushed his lips against your forehead, and you just closed your eyes.

*

An hour later you were in bed and listening to Wanda's instructions. Teddy was cuddling up to your side. He had stopped crying but was still very scared. Ellie was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at you with worried eyes. Joel stood next to Wanda and carefully listened to her.

"It's definitely a concussion. She should not move. Let her sleep a lot, rest, and drink plenty of water. Someone should stay with her overnight. If she starts vomiting, she may choke."

"I'm not going to vomit," you muttered. You were slightly annoyed that the woman was talking like you weren't in the room.

Joel just gave you an indulgent look and replied, "I'll keep an eye on her.”

When Wanda left, he came closer to you and stroked his son's head.

"Hey, 'bear cub', mum will be fine. Why don't you and Ellie go to the meadow and collect flowers for mommy?"

Teddy looked at you with those puppy eyes he inherited from his father.

"Will this help you, mommy?"

You nodded your head and he immediately jumped off the bed and grabbed Ellie's hand pulling her towards the exit. Joel was still staring at you.

"What?" you asked.

He bit his lip and muttered, "I was worried about you, I'm still worried about you... I don't know what I would do if something happened to you..."

You were surprised by his confession. You might even hug him if it weren't for the constant dizziness.

"I'll be fine and you don't have to do all this for me."

Joel stepped closer, knelt by the bed, and grabbed your hand.

"I'll take care of you and Teddy. I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel better."

You smiled slightly and nodded your head.

In the evening you were really surprised how well Joel handled the baby. You thought your boy would be very cranky after a day like this... And he was, but Joel made it. After he put his son to bed, he came back to you and sat in the armchair to watch you all night.

It was weird and embarrassing for you at first. You thought you wouldn't be able to fall asleep next to him, but his presence began to soothe you and you fell asleep.

*

Joel stretched out in an armchair and tilted his head back. He yawned and closed his eyes. He thought that nothing would happen if he took a nap for a while. Your sleep seemed restful. Before he could fall asleep he heard the patter of small feet and after a while, he felt Teddy climb into his lap. He opened his eyes and smiled softly.

"Hi, 'bear cub'."

The baby boy glanced towards the bed: "Mummy still sleeping?"

Joel combed the boy's curls. "It's night. She should sleep. Just like you."

The little one shook his head and looked at him, and despite the dim light, Joel could see traces of tears on the baby's cheeks.

"You were crying, baby. What happened?"

He pulled the boy to his chest and hugged him tightly.

"Will mommy die?"

Joel replied immediately. "No, 'bear cub'. Of course not. She'll be fine. That's why I'm here to make sure everything is okay."

Teddy nodded and murmured, "Tell me a story."

Joel frowned. "We have to go get the book."

"No," the little one moaned. "Your story."

"Oh. All right." He thought for a moment. "I'll tell you about the Boston Angel."

"That angel was pretty?"

Joel smiled and nodded. "It was basically she, and she was the most beautiful angel I've ever seen. She was also sweet and kind. Even though Boston wasn't a pretty place, she was always able to find something beautiful and show it to the children. She bent down to tie a little girl's shoes and gave food to the homeless dog, and she always smiled."

"And did she bake cookies like Mommy?"

"Yes. She was the perfect Angel, but she met the bad man." Joel sighed heavily. He didn't know why he made up this story about you two. He felt the little boy tugging at his shirt.

"And what did the bad man do?"

"He broke the angel's wings and made the angel sad."

"But why did he do it?"

"Because he forgot how to love and only remembered that losing someone you love hurts a lot. So instead of loving an angel, he preferred to hurt her." He stroked Teddy's curls. "But the angel managed to escape Boston, and then her wings grew back and became even more beautiful and stronger. So strong that they could carry her wherever she wanted."

Teddy yawned and asked, "And the bad man? Has he changed?"

Joel didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected such a question. He swallowed and replied, "He's tried hard to change and... I hope one day he'll be good and the Angel will see it."

You felt tears running down your cheeks. You woke up as soon as you heard your son's voice, but you were still tired and did not react. You knew Joel would take care of the boy. So you heard the whole story about Angel and you couldn't believe it. Joel thought you were asleep, so he didn't say all that just to win your favor.

There was silence and you guessed that Teddy had fallen asleep. You went back to sleep too.

*

Joel slowly got to his feet, holding gently the sleeping boy, but something was bothering him. The baby's body was too warm. He kissed the boy's forehead and wondered if you had a thermometer somewhere in the house. He gently placed the baby on the bed and carefully covered him with a blanket. He didn't even get out of the room before he heard a plaintive whine, "Joo."

He quickly returned to the baby and began to calm him down. "Shhh, I'll be right back."

The little one stretched out his arms towards him with another pitiful moan and began to cry. Joel sighed and took the boy in his arms, wrapping him in a blanket.

"It's okay 'bear cub'. Do you know where mom keeps the thermometer and medicine?"

The little one sobbed and pressed his face against dads shoulder, muttering, "Not sick."

Joel rolled his eyes. He realized that he had to fend for himself. And so he held the baby with one hand and searched the kitchen cupboards with the other. He found a thermometer, bandages, a hot water bottle, and medicines that he knew were not for children. He took the boy back to the room and took his temperature. He had a fever.

"Teddy, does your tummy hurt?"

"No," the boy moaned.

"And here?" he asked and touched the boy's chest.

"Only the head."

Joel frowned. He stroked the boy's back and said, "Stay here a minute. I'll check on mommy."

"NO!"

Teddy started crying and Joel panicked. He didn't want you to wake up. He quickly lifted his son and began to gently rock him in his arms and place kisses on his wet, hot cheeks.

"Shhh, shhh, 'bear cub', it's okay. We'll go to mom together, but you have to promise me you'll be quiet. Okay?"

The little one whined and nodded his head. Joel breathed a sigh of relief, though he knew he had a rough night ahead of him.

He carefully looked at you and was relieved to see that you were still asleep. By this time, the boy had already fallen asleep and Joel was able to put him to bed.

And so for the next hour, Joel wandered between your room and Teddy's room. Unfortunately, the boy woke up again and started crying.

"I want water," he sobbed.

"I'll bring you."

"Do not go!"

Joel sighed heavily and took the boy in his arms. The boy immediately clung to his body tightly. "We will go together."

Unfortunately, the boy was very moody. When he saw the blue cup of water, he wailed loudly and Joel started to panic. He didn't know what had happened and tried to calm him down.

"It's okay... Shhh, tell me what happened? Teddy, baby, 'bear cub'..."

And as if he didn't have enough problems, You walked into the kitchen. You heard your son cry and your maternal instinct was stronger than your dizziness. You staggered into the doorway and grabbed the doorframe with difficulty.

"Y/N" Joel gasped and immediately started walking towards you.

He wrapped his free arm tightly around your waist while the other still held Teddy, who was crying in his ear. Joel led you to a chair and carefully sat you down. He started rocking your son and you looked at the blue mug on the table and said, "He doesn't like that color. You have to give him a red one."

Joel breathed a sigh of relief and quickly grabbed the red cup. Teddy finally calmed down, drank some water, and fell asleep in dad's arms, but his behavior made you uneasy. You knew that such trivial things as the color of the mug only made him cry when he was ill.

"Joel, does he have a fever?"

The man reluctantly nodded. He didn't want to worry you, but he couldn't lie to you.

"He has a fever and a headache, but otherwise he's fine. He doesn't cough, he doesn't have a runny nose. I've been looking for some medicine for him, but I haven't found anything."

You sighed heavily. "They're over. I was going to go to Anderson's, but... You know."

"I know. If he's not better by morning, I'll go with him to that asshole."

You looked at him scared. "No... I can't do it."

He came closer to you. "Hey, I said I'll go. You will stay. Everything will be fine. I'll take care of everything and now I'll put the little one to bed and come back for you."

"Put him in my bed. I want him close and try to put cold compresses on him to bring down the fever."

Joel nodded and did as you said. He put Teddy in your bed and then came back for you. He wrapped his arms around you to take all your weight. Once you were in bed, he returned to the kitchen and fetched a bowl of cold water and a small kitchen towel. You watched as he knelt by the bed and gently touched Teddy's forehead.

"You have to change the water in a while."

"I know," he said and smiled slightly at you. "Don't worry. I'll be here all the time."

You sighed and closed your eyes. You carefully cuddled up to your little one and hoped that the baby boy would recover by the morning.

Unfortunately, Teddy still had a fever in the morning, like you, he didn't like the idea of visiting Anderson. He cuddled up to you and looked at Joel like he were a traitor. The man reached out to him, but the toddler consistently ignored him.

"Come on, 'bear cub', everything will be fine."

Ellie, who had already come to you, also tried to help. "Teddy, the doctor will just examine you. I and Joel will be with you."

You knew you had to intervene. You gently pushed him away from you and kissed his nose. "Honey, you know Joel will always protect you. Go with them. Mommy needs to stay in bed."

The little boy finally nodded and let Joel take him in his arms.

"Bunny" he sadly whined.

Joel kissed him on the head. "We're going to get your bunny."

After they left, you looked at the teenage girl. "Ellie, make sure he doesn't do something stupid. And I'm not talking about Teddy.”

The girl shrugged. "Okay, but I'm not promising anything."

You fell back on the pillows and closed your eyes. Your head was still spinning and you knew you had to rely on Joel.

*

The atmosphere in Anderson's office was so thick that could have cut it with a knife. The two men stared at each other with pure hatred. Eventually, Ellie intervened. She grunted loudly and muttered, "I don't know about you, but I don't want to spend all day here."

The doctor snorted. "Put him on the table. I'll listen to his lungs."

Teddy immediately moaned plaintively as he was separated from his dad's body. Joel looked at him sympathetically. He kissed his forehead and whispered, "It will only take a moment."

Teddy hugged the stuffed bunny tightly to him. Anderson looked at the little boy irritably and hissed, "Should I examine him or the stuffed animal?"

Joel clenched his jaw. He felt his head start to ache. He'd had a really rough night and was losing his patience with this prick. He carefully took the toy out of his son's hands and tenderly said, "Ellie will take care of your bunny for a while."

Tears welled up in Teddy's eyes, but he nodded and watched as Ellie gently hugged his toy. Meanwhile, Anderson, without any warning, pulled the boy's T-shirt up and held the cold stethoscope to the child's body. Teddy squeaked and jumped. Only Joel's quick reaction saved him from falling off the table.

"What are you doing?" he growled.

Anderson shrugged. "It's not my fault he's as weak as his mother."

And that was enough. Joel handed the boy into Ellie's arms and gently pushed her towards the door. "Wait with him in the corridor."

Ellie nodded her head. She herself was furious with this asshole.

As she disappeared through the door, Anderson hissed, "What, are you going to break my nose again?"

Joel smiled in a way that made Anderson uneasy and he took a step back. Joel pulled a knife from his belt and lunged for the doctor. He pushed him into the chair and with one hand squeezed his throat so that the man couldn't scream.

"No, I'll do something much worse to you," he growled from the back of his throat. "Now listen to me carefully. You will treat my son as your most valuable patient."

Anderson's eyes widened in shock. "Teddy, this is your..."

Joel laughed. "Yeah, and you'd better think it over." He slid the knife into the doctor's crotch. "You have body parts that are not needed. Without them, you'll still be useful."

Anderson swallowed and nodded. "I will be gentle..." he squeaked.

Joel nodded. "All right."

He opened the door and took the boy in his arms. He smiled and kissed him on the head. "Come 'bear cub', Mr. Anderson will be very nice now and apologize to you for hurting you."

He looked at the doctor suggestively, and the man nodded. "I'm sorry Teddy." He started heating the stethoscope and said, "He can stay in your arms while I examine him."

The rest of the examination went smoothly and Anderson was kind and gentle. When he had finished, he said, "Everything seems fine. Did something stress him out?"

Joel frowned. He wasn't sure if Anderson didn't know about your accident or if he was pretending. "Yes. He had a lot of stress yesterday."

The doctor nodded. "This fever, it could be a stress reaction or a mild cold. I'll give you pills, for him. Give him half now, half tonight, and half tomorrow morning. The fever should go down."

*

When they got home, Joel told you how the doctor's visit went. Of course, he skipped the part about the knife threat but you guessed something had happened when your son said, "Mr. Anderson was a bit rude, but then Ellie and I left and when we came back, he was already nice."

You looked suggestively at Joel, and he tried to avoid your gaze at all costs. Then you shot a disappointed look at Ellie. "You were supposed to keep an eye on him."

Ellie shrugged. "This as..." Joel grunted significantly. "This fool, he deserved it."

You shook your head and hugged your son as he began to fall asleep. You didn't really care what Joel did. All that mattered was that he got Teddy's medicine.

*

After three days, you finally felt fine. You weren't dizzy anymore and you didn't lose your balance. Your son's fever has also stopped. It was evening when you got up and decided to eat something. There was an unusual silence in the house. It was still early, but Teddy was already asleep, tired from the impressions of the last few days. But where was Joel? He took care of you all the time and you were impressed with how well he handled everything.

You walked into the living room and saw him sleeping on your couch. He looked so peaceful and you didn't have the heart to be mad at him for falling asleep in your house. You guessed he was dead tired after two nights of watching over you and Teddy. Plus, you knew your sweet little son turned into a little monster when he was sick. One minute he wanted juice, the next he was spitting it out and crying that he didn't want juice. And maybe he got it from you. Well, maybe, just maybe, you had Joel bring you a glass of cold water, and after five minutes you decided it was too cold and asked him for hot tea. And he, without whining, without a grimace on his face, obediently went to the kitchen. So yes, he had a right to be tired. You grabbed a blanket from the armchair and gently covered him. Then you crouched down at his face and felt that old sentiment. Joel's hair always looked as soft and fluffy, as your son's. Made to be combed with your fingers. And before you could stop yourself, your fingers had already sunk into his gray curls.

Joel blinked his eyes and you quickly pulled your hand away. He looked at you and started to move, but he was very clumsy.

"Sorry... I'll be up in a minute," he mumbled.

You shook your head, put your hand on his shoulder, and said, "You deserve to rest, sleep."

You saw how tired he was and that he was still half asleep, so when he spoke you weren't sure if he was aware of it.

"I wish I could have looked after you while you were pregnant."

You sighed heavily and understood. That's why he was sad. He wasn't jealous at all that Maria was pregnant. He was sorry because it reminded him of what he had lost and made him feel guilty.

"You're taking care of us now. That's enough," you whispered.

You ran your hand through his hair again and he closed his eyes and purred like a cat. A slight smile appeared on his face, and you thought maybe your son was right. Your touch really made Joel stop being sad.

A/N: Okay, so yeah, I messed up the timelines about Maria's pregnancy. I just forgot to mention it before, and it suited me perfectly here. Doctor Google told me that children can have fevers because of stress.

Part V

Part VII

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[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

I often see people describe Spider as a neglected child. Do you think that is totally accurate? Would Norm and the other scientists have set rules and boundaries? If Lo’ak and Spider did something stupid together would Jake punish both of them? What would a scene like this look like?

Hello! I know you sent this question to other creators like a month ago. Sorry this took me so long to get to. I’ve been busy and I really wanted to give a detailed answer to this but I could just never make the time until now.

So short answer yes I definitely think Spider is a neglected child.

Long answer:

While I do believe some of his basic physical needs were met like food/water/shelter I don’t believe all his physical needs were met. First is just basic safety and while I don’t think his foster parents the McCosker’s physical beat him they definitely didn’t seem to care about him. From what we see in the comics and in the movie Spider was allowed to leave the base by himself at a very young age, like around 7-8 from the look of him. I personally take huge issue with this. I’d love to know how far away the village is from Hells Gate because maybe if it was super close, like you could see it from base kind of close, then I don’t think it’d be as bad but either way your letting a child, who is already super tiny compared to his huge surroundings loose in a jungle that we are told point blank from Jake’s narration is dangerous! Like it’s one thing to let your kid walk to a friends house to teach them independence but what parent would let their child do that if they could be potentially eaten by a tiger or trampled by a rhino. But that’s exactly what the scientist and the McCoskers are letting Spider do! That is just so negligent to me.

Next is Spider’s hair which I know we talk to death about for a lot of different reasons. So I actually have the exact same hair texture that we see baby Spider having so I can personally attest to it tangling easily when not properly maintained. After looking at 7-8 year old Spider i feel like I can pretty confidently say those aren’t dreads they’re mats. That’s what dry, unwashed, un brushed curly hair looks like after weeks.

From my research children typically need help with taking care of their hair until around age 12 and so the fact that his hair is matted tells me no body is helping him. And that could lead to issues down the line because matted hair can grow mold which will obviously make you sick. Even when we see Spider at 16 he hasn’t learned how to maintain his dreadlocks properly. They’re uneven, there’s unlocked hair sticking out all over the place. Really to me it looks more like he did his best to do something with his hair after all the childhood neglect. So yeah not putting in the effort to properly take care of a child’s hair when they’re to young to do it themselves is a form of physical neglect in my eyes

Now onto bigger issues.

We see from the comics that Spider’s foster parents just flat out don’t care about him. Other creators have gotten into that so I won’t go on about it. What I will go on about though is that I think it’s a failure of every adult that saw how neglectful and uncaring the McCosker’s where to Spider but did nothing. They did nothing because it was easier for them to do nothing. Sometimes foster placements don��t work out and when that happens you find an alternative until you find something that best fits the child. They didn’t do that! They did what was easiest for the adults and that was to turn a blind eye. I’m guessing after the events of the high ground comics that Spider didn’t even really have a guardian to answer to. He was basically just a ward of the rebels. I really do hope we get to see him interact with characters like Norm and Max post his kidnapping because from what we see in the movie Kiri was the only one worried about him. I think it would have been nice if during the scene where Jake and Norm are talking about Kiri’s seizer Jake asked if Norm had any new information about Spider, so we the audience would see that these adults do care about this kid. We don’t get that though.

And honestly I take huge issue with Jake’s treatment of Spider. I didn’t like it when I first watched the movie and never felt like he earned the “son for a son” line because again we never even saw him care about Spider aside from him asking Neytiri not to kill him which is beyond bare minimum. Reading the comics made me straight up appalled. My jaw hit the ground during the climax of the story when they are being chased by R.D.A, shot at, the forest is burning and Jake told Spider to turn himself in because he was slowing them down! And my poor boy just promised to keep up!

And I know Jake believes that they won’t hurt Spider because he’s just a kid but 1. Why would you even think that? Seriously what evidence do you have that the R.D.A wouldn’t hurt this kid. They are your enemy! They’re literally shooting at you as you speak! What makes you think they wouldn’t shoot Spider on site! Why would you even take that chance with a child’s life! Even if they do accept his surrender then what? Are you okay with this kid being sent back to Earth? Or being forced to live on the R.d.A’s base with little to no say of what happens to him? And 2. They do hurt him! A year later when Spider gets kidnapped Ardmore was willing to turn Spider into a vegetable to get the information she wanted! The only reason that didn’t happen was because Quaritch stopped him. This is just going to be an all me rant for a second but I could never leave a child behind like Jake did with Spider. I don’t care how tough you think he is he’s 16! And he was left in the enemies hands on an absolutely insane amount of good faith that they wouldn’t stoop low enough to hurt him. They fucking tortured him. And if Jake had at least payed lip service to being worried about Spider I’d be slightly more inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt and say there was nothing he could do to get Spider out of Bridgehead, he had to protect his others kids. But he doesn’t. He says that Spider’s a tough kid and that’s that.

So to wrap this up Spider was incredibly neglected. Based off of everything I said above it seems to me that the adults provided bare minimum necessities and then just let him run wild which is no way to treat a child especially when their young. We’d be here all day if I started up on the emotional neglect of this boy. I truly hope we get to see Jake treat Spider better in the next movie and that we get to see Spider interact with Norm and Max.

Those are my thoughts. If anyone disagrees I’d be happy to have a respectful conversation about it. I’m always curious to hear other people’s opinions. 💙

[foxy-eva]

Cowboy Like Me

Summary: Spencer decides to fulfill a childhood dream

Author’s Note: This story is loosely based on the conversation Spencer and JJ have in S15E07 about parallel universes (a.k.a. Cowboy Spencer)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

Content Warnings: none

Word count: 1.9k

Masterlist

Toy departments have always been magical for me. I clearly remember walking through them wide-eyed as a little girl, entranced by all the colorful and sparkly objects calling to me. There was nothing more exciting than to find one of them perfectly wrapped on birthdays or Christmas, waiting for me to play with it. 

Even as an adult I couldn't hide my child-like wonder as I walked along the aisles. Spencer was clearly more focussed on my reactions than on whatever toy we could pick for his godson's birthday. When my eyes landed on a particular stuffed animal, a gasp fell from my lips. 

When I reached out to hold it in my hands, Spencer chuckled, "I don't think Michael is into sheep. He's more of a dinosaur kind of boy."

I took the plushie into my hands, inspecting it thoroughly. In an instant I was taken back to childhood days, playing peacefully with a very similar one. 

"She looks just like her," I whispered. 

Spencer wasn't sure what I was talking about when he asked, "Like who?" 

"Fluffy. A sheep plushie I had as a child. I loved her so much but unfortunately I lost her when we moved."

"Awe I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe we should give this one a new home?" Spencer suggested. 

I put the toy back on the shelf and shook my head. “No, that’s okay. I’m sure it’ll make a child very happy someday.” 

Taking my hand in his, Spencer walked me to a different section of the store to find the perfect present for Michael. 

Neither of us mentioned my little anecdote again and I almost forgot about it altogether. That was until I got home from work a few days later. Spencer was waiting for me on the couch with the small sheep plushie sitting beside him. A wide smile was painted all over his face when we locked eyes. 

“What’s this?” I snickered as I took the toy in my hands to inspect it. 

“Fluffy 2.0 – or whatever you want to name it,” he said. “I had to go back to get it. You seemed so happy when you found it, so I thought it’d be nice to have it as a little reminder of your childhood.”

I found my place beside him on the couch, pressing a brief kiss on his lips to thank him. The toy not only reminded me of days long gone, it also took me back to my first ever career aspiration. 

“There’s actually more to the story,” I confessed. 

He placed his arms around my waist to bring me closer while he encouraged me to tell him about it. “I would love to hear it.”

It had always been astounding to me that even after years of knowing someone, there were still parts of their lives we had no idea about. Sometimes it made me wonder if it was even possible to know everything about our loved ones. After Spencer had surprised me with stories about his past - most of them a lot less merry than what I was about to tell him - it was my turn to let him in on this unknown side of me. 

“The reason I got Fluffy in the first place was because I was obsessed with sheep. It was all I could ever talk about. You know how most little girls want to be a nurse or a teacher or even a princess? Well, I wanted to be a shepherdess. I dreamed of living in the countryside with my flock of sheep, doing nothing all day other than walk around and pet them.”

Spencer couldn’t hide the playful tone in his voice when he chuckled, “That’s adorable.” 

I pinched his stomach, whining, “Hey, don’t make fun of me!” 

He was quick to take my hand in his, softly kissing it before telling me, “I’m not! I swear. I genuinely think that this is really sweet. So, what happened to that dream?” 

I thought about my answer for a moment until I decided to tell him the truth. “I would like to say that I grew out of it but the truth is, I still think about it sometimes.” 

Spencer seemed genuinely surprised. “You do?”

“Not about becoming a full-time shepherdess – I know that’s unrealistic for me – but I sometimes imagine us living on a little farm with a bunch of animals. Some chicken, my little flock of sheep, maybe even some alpacas,” I explained. 

I expected him to be more surprised by my confession but instead he asked, “Can I let you in on a little secret too?” 

After I nodded, he told me, “I actually like to imagine that there is a parallel universe where I’m a cowboy.” 

“A cowboy?” I giggled. “I would have never guessed that.” 

“Yeah. Maybe in this alternate reality you’d be a shepherdess and we’d fall in love after meeting at the farmer’s market,” he cooed before placing a kiss into my hair. 

I really liked this fantasy he created, I could see those alternate versions of us living a rural life. 

“I’d love that for us. We could sell milk and wool together after joining our ranches. We’d be the hottest farmers in town. The cowboy and the shepherdess.” 

Spencer laughed out loud at my words before adding, “I’m sure you’d be the hottest farmer in the whole state.”

For the following weeks we kept talking about this fantasy, adding details and creating scenarios of what we'd do in this parallel universe. It became like a nighttime routine to us to let cowboy Spencer and his wife go on adventures together. It might seem silly to anyone else but those stories became very near and dear to our hearts. 

Never had I expected that even a fraction of our fantasy world could ever come true. That was until one sunny Saturday morning when Spencer told me he had a surprise for me. It was rare for him to be the one to drive but it was even rarer for him to not tell me where we'd be going. Despite my constant pleading to let me in on his secret, he kept his lips sealed. 

I didn't recognize the roads he was taking when we left the city but I did enjoy the landscape the further we got away. After a forty-five minute drive, he pulled into the driveway of a very small but unbelievably cute ranch. There was a beautiful house with a small stable and a garden waiting to grow vegetables in it. 

Before I could wonder what we would be doing here, I took my time to take everything in. When I turned my head, I found Spencer smiling at me, curious about my reaction. I got out of the car to take a few steps towards the front door of the house. 

"What are we doing here?"

I expected him to tell me we'd spend the day here to pet some sheep and cattle. That wasn't what he had planned though. 

He was hesitant to answer me at first but when he began to explain, he did it in his usual rambling manner. "I found this little ranch for sale at a really good price. It'll need some work before we could actually live here but Morgan already offered to help us. The stable is in good shape though."

His words didn't make sense to me. I stared at him with lips agape and eyes widened. I kept looking back and forth between him and the house. 

When I finally found my voice again, I squeaked, "What? Spencer, this is crazy!"

"It's an adventure," he corrected me.

Still unsure of what to think, I breathed, "I don't know what to say."

He took my hand and gently squeezed it. "How about yes? Think about it. We're still within driving distance to both our workplaces. It's small enough to be able to take care of everything after work and who knows, maybe someday we'll actually sell our own milk and wool at the farmer's market. Just like we talked about."

Although my head was trying to come up with so many reasons why this couldn’t be a good idea, my heart screamed at me to agree with him, so I sighed, "You are very good at making compelling arguments. How could I ever say no to that?" 

"Thank god,” he groaned in relief while pointing at the stable. “I already bought two sheep." 

With a firm grip around my hand, he led me to the door where I could hear the sheep he just mentioned. 

In complete disbelief of everything that was going on, I said, "You did what? We don't even own this place yet!" 

Spencer just shrugged and mumbled, "I mean…”

"Spencer!” I reprimanded him, “You can't make big decisions like that without me! What if I had said no?"

While opening the door to the stable for me to look at the two young sheep, he said, "It was worth the risk." 

My husband must have completely lost his mind and I loved him so much for that. I stepped closer to the little creatures, reaching out my hand to make contact with their soft wool. They were very curious to get to know me, making my heart melt when they began nuzzling their little snouts against my hands. 

Spencer glanced over my face, wondering, "Are you mad at me?"

A bright smile spread across my face when I found his eyes, explaining, "I can't be mad at you for doing something so sweet. Very irrational, but sweet."

“I know it’s not a whole flock yet but it’s a start. How do you want to name them?” 

I was mesmerized by the little lambs in front of me when I cooed, “They look like little clouds.” 

“We could call them Alto and Cirro. Like the types of clouds,” he suggested.

“That’s perfect.” 

We spent the rest of the day at our future home, figuring out what exactly we wanted to do with this place. It would take at least a couple of weeks until we could move here. Even though it was impractical to have to come here every day to take care of our sheep, I was still looking forward to finally make my childhood dream to be a shepherdess come true. 

When I came home from running errands the next day, it was my turn to surprise my husband. It didn’t come close to the grand gesture of buying a ranch, but I still knew he’d appreciate it. He was reading a book about farming when I approached him in the living room, hiding a foreign object behind my back. 

With one eyebrow raised he looked at me and chuckled, “What do you have there?”

I showed him the ridiculously large cowboy hat and he broke out in laughter. 

“I know we don’t have cattle nor horses yet but I still wanted you to feel like a cowboy,” I giggled. 

When he put the hat on, my heart skipped a beat at the sight of the man in front of me. He placed a soft kiss on my lips before thanking me.

“I love it. And I love you,” he said. “How about we get going to see Alto and Cirro?” 

“I would love nothing more, cowboy.” 

If you enjoyed reading this story you should check out the other fluff fics in my SFW Masterlist!

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[freya-fallen]

Little Dove 5/?

You're Pro Hero Hawks' little sister. Dabi finds out and everything devolves from there.

HawksxReaderxDabi

TW: none for this chapter, but future parts may include, but are not limited to, noncon, dubcon, drugging, forced incest, yandere hawks, yandere dabi, coercion, lying, manipulation, grooming (of an 18 year old character), obsession, gaslighting...

Part 1 Part 6

Keigo is still home when you wake up, a rare occurrence given his hours. You stare down at your phone to read through a few texts from Dabi and look up when you hear an abrupt sound. Your brother is making scrambled eggs wearing your frilly apron and a pair of boxers. You can’t help but giggle at the sight of him whistling a little flourish while he flips the spatula through the air.

“‘Morning, Dove. Sleep well?”

You blush, remembering that you fell asleep while Keigo was preening your wings. You’d woken, tangled in sheets and diagonal across the mattress. “Did I steal the covers last night?”

He grins that heartbreaking grin of his that comes so naturally when he’s around you. “Only a little. I kept plenty warm, considering you were half on top of me.

“I’m sorry.”

He bats away the apology. “If it bothered me, we’d have separate beds. You’ve always been clingy in your sleep.”

To be fair, so is he. It’s a remnant of your childhood, when you were each other’s only real family. You still are, but now you have a stable life to go along with your relationship.

There was a time Keigo left. It was sometime after your father was finally arrested, when your memories become a blur for a while. You know you were hungry and cold and sad. Your mother was annoyed at your complaints, but there was nothing she could do about them. She yelled at Keigo, called him useless, and he took off.

You think you saw him once after that, then nothing. 

For a little while, you stayed alone with your mother. She rarely helped you with clothes or food or anything, really, so you quickly became a mess of a child. By the time the HPSC dropped in to pluck you from Tomie’s grasp, you were in such deplorable state that Keigo became furious when you saw him.

It was in the penthouse, your now-home. He’d fought with the commission to get a place for you, and a separate one for your mother. When you asked why, he always shrugged and muttered something about everyone being happier this way.

Keigo had run across the bare floor and dropped to his knees to look at you. “Did mom hurt you?” His hands were warm on your shoulders, his eyes boring into your own. You shook your head. “Did she feed you?” he asked next, to which you shrugged. Keigo sighed, glanced up at an adult and said, “Go get her something to eat.”

It was the first time you ever heard Keigo give a command. 

Your brother guides you to the table, snapping you from your memories. He has a full plate and orange juice all laid out. 

“Thank you, Keigo.”

 He beams. “You’re welcome.” He has made himself a plate with more food than yours. He spends all day most days out on patrol and apparently flying takes a lot of energy, so he keeps fueled. You’ve always marveled at how much he can scarf down per meal.

Your phone buzzes and he frowns at it. “Just a friend from school,” you explain, though you have the phone upside down, so it’s not like you can see the screen. He hums in response.

“Do you have the day off?” Hope lays thick in your voice. You’d promised to see Dabi later, but he’d understand that Keigo is home.

He shakes his head. “No, I just had a little time this morning. Sorry, Dove. I know I owe you some one-on-one time, but things are hectic at work right now.”

You know what that’s code for. “The commission has you on a special mission, huh?” You hate when this happens. They suck the life out of your brother, promising him the moon for one more little favor. It never ends; you know they’ve sent him to do things he shouldn’t, things he won’t talk about to anyone, but especially you. He could never ruin your image of him; it would break him.

You tell him you’ll love him anyway, but he just shakes his and smiles sadly.

“Yeah. It’s a really important one, though. It might stop a war.”

“Does it have to do with that guy who fought All Might?” you ask. He’s behind bars, but maybe he has some sort of team who can take over his evil plans. 

Keigo bites his lip. “You know I can’t tell you anything about it.”

“Yeah, yeah, secret squirrel stuff.” You raise a hand in defeat. “I know.”

“The secretest.” He puts your plates in the dishwasher after you’ve both cleared them, then pulls you into his arms for a hug. “I told them I’m taking a break after this one. I need it. We’ve all been working our asses off since All Might retired, but the flame man and I most of all.”

His heart is a steady beat against your ear. You wrap your arms around your brother and take in how much stronger he is than you. Even without him feathers, he could throw you over his shoulder. He takes his work seriously, despite his carefree appearance. You squeeze him, aware of how strong some villains are and how small your brother is compared to some. “You promise?”

Keigo rubs your back. “I promise. They won’t get anything outta me for at least a month.”

“A month?” The idea thrills you; you’ve never gotten to spend that much time free with him.

“Yep, just you and me. We can do anything, go anywhere.”

You grin up at him. “I can’t wait.”

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[samgirl98]

Mending a Family 11/?

Prev | Next

Jason and Jazz bond, and Dick has a sort-of revelation.

Jason sat by the table after saying goodbye to Roy, Raven, and Lian and putting Danny to bed. After the revelation of Mar’i, the adults had sobered a little, and it had gotten awkward. Thankfully, the kids kept playing though Danny would side-eye Jason every once in a while. His knowing look reminded Jason that Danny was a sixteen-year-old trapped in the body of a five-year-old.

Jazz sat across from him with two cups of tea. She gave one to Jason and asked, “How are you feeling?”

Jason frowned; how was he feeling? A part of him was disappointed, but he understood.

“Jazz, when I came back, I killed people. I hurt Tim. It makes sense that Dick never told me he had a daughter. I’m doing the same thing now with Danny! Besides, nobody in their right mind would let a murderer around their child.”

“Just because you understand and can rationalize it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”

Jason smiled softly at her, “What are you, my psychiatrist, now?”

“I don’t have to be a psychiatrist to know this affected you more than you want to let on.”

Jason sighed, “I understand; really, I do. But what pisses me off is that Roy told me that Dick is obsessively looking for me. All of them are. How can they freeze me out of the family, not at least tell me, ‘Hey Jason, you’re an uncle,’ and then call me family and use that as an excuse to hunt me down like a rabid animal?”

Jazz sipped her tea, “I think they’re probably feeling guilty now because they managed to chase you away. From what I’ve heard, they like to be in control.”

Jason snorted, “Yeah, they’re all control freaks that have no issue invading others’ privacy. Starting with Daddy Bats.”

“Do you miss them,” she asked quietly.

“I do,” he answered in the same volume, “but I burned those bridges long ago.”

They stayed in silence for a while.

“I hope I’m not overstepping, but you have become my family. I see how you act around Danny, and I am grateful that you parent and love him the way a parent loves their child. Our parents weren’t the best, so I’m glad Danny will get a second chance at childhood, and it’s all thanks to you.”

Jason smiled, “Well, at least I’m doing right by Danny.”

“You think—you think you’ll ever talk to them again?”

“Not when there’s a chance they’ll take Danny away from me. They see me as unstable, but I won’t ever hurt Danny. I don’t know if I’m a bad parent, but Danny has helped me more than I’ve helped him, and he’s keeping me sane.”

Jazz shrugged, “I’m not precisely sane myself, and as long as you don’t verbally tell Danny he’s the only reason you feel your mental stability is better, then I see no harm in it. It’s bad when a parent puts that pressure on their child. However, I have a feeling you’re saner than you think you are.”

Jazz finished her tea.

“Besides, you can’t be judged by human standards.”

Jason rolled his eyes; he stopped explaining to Danny and Jazz that he was utterly, one hundred percent human.

“Do you really think I’m a good parent?”

“Yes,” she answered without hesitation.

Jason sighed, “I miss my old family sometimes.”

“You want to talk about them?”

“I can’t talk much about the newer members, but Dick, he’s my oldest brother; he’s huggy, a huge jokester. There’s always a pun or quip coming out of his mouth. He didn’t; well, when I was younger, I thought he hated me. He was always yelling at Bruce, and most of the time, he ignored me, but eventually, he came around.”

“I remember one time he took me train surfing. It was so fun! I was hanging out with my older brother, my predecessor. He also stole Bruce’s car once and took me on a joyride after Bruce had grounded me.”

“There’s also Barbie. She helped me a lot with homework when I was younger. She’s—she’s also the only one that kept contact with me after all the shi—things I did. You remind me of her. She’s kind, same as you. And you both have red hair. She’s crazy smart like you are. The things she can do with computers,” Jason shook his head in disbelief.

“There’s Alfred. He’s like a grandfather to me. He taught me how to cook; he’s the one I miss the most, to be honest. I wouldn’t be surprised if he missed me, too, but he was giving me my space.”

Jason couldn’t bring himself to talk about Bruce. The man had been his father, but he had both disappointed Jason and been disappointed by Jason.

His biggest failure, Jason thought bitterly.

“Mom and dad,” Jazz started, took a deep breath, and continued, “Mom and dad, when they weren’t obsessed with their work, showed how much they cared for us in their way. Mom would make delicious fudge that got devoured quickly. Dad, he would call me his princess.”

“We’d go camping every summer until—until the portal opened. They had always been obsessed with ghosts, but they went into overdrive after the portal. They neglected us; Danny was being hurt. Eventually, it became too much, and Danny started detaching himself from everyone, including his friends, because he didn’t want anyone hurt.”

“I miss them sometimes, but I can never forgive them for what they did. They find out about Danny, and the first thing they do is attack! How could they?!”

Jazz was breathing hard, “How could they? They told us they loved us.”

Jazz started crying. Jason was stunned for a moment, and then he got up. He let Jazz cry on his shoulder.

Two broken people held on to each other. They may have lost an old family, but slowly, they would build a new one.

____

“Daddy!”

Dick opened his arms as his daughter flew into them. Kory floated right beside him and smiled softly at their three-year-old.

“Thanks for letting her stay with me for the week,” Dick said, “I needed this.”

“My pleasure. She wanted to see her daddy, anyway.”

Dick let Mar’i down and watched as she ran to her room.

“How’s the search going,” Kory asked.

Dick’s smile fell. They still hadn’t found any trace of Jason. Alfred was telling them to leave Jason alone and that he’ll contact them when he wants to. Roy stopped talking to Dick altogether, and Bruce was losing his mind.

“It’s not going well. Why, have you found anything?”

“No, sorry, but I haven’t been paying too much attention.”

“That’s okay. Wally and Superman are looking for him. We’ll find him, eventually.”

Mar’i decided to come out at that moment.

“Daddy, daddy, can we go see Grandpa Bruce,” she lisped, “and Uncles Timmy and Damian and aunties Cassie and Steph? Will Uncle Duke be there with the pretty lights?”

Dick felt a ping in his chest. His daughter hadn’t mentioned Jason. She had never met him, and Dick couldn’t help but feel guilty.  Would Jason have stayed if the family had tried to integrate him more? Was it because of them that he left?

That bothered Dick, questions. He wanted, needed to know why Jason left instead of coming to them.

Because you shut the door, his mind supplied.

It was right.

@idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @skulld3mort-1fan @theauthorandtheartist @emergentpanda-blog @jaggedheart11 @fisticuffsatapplebees @booberrylizard @fantasticbluebirdfan @thegatorsgooseoose @cyrwrites @kjoboo91 @crystallicedart @amaramizuki666 @spekulatiusmuffin @meira-3919 @kilasmess @bubblemixer @lexdamo @wonderland-daisy @mj-arts-n-stuff @amyheart19 @dolfay @the-church-grimm @undead-essence @aph-mable @lizisipancardo @purrloin77 @writer-extraodinaire @charlietheepic7 @sinfulloccultist @nootherusernameworked @coruscateselene @chaoticchange @itsberrydreemurstuff @gmkelz11 @feral-bunny31 @paroovian @thatonegaybitch68 @d4ydr34min9 @overtherose @fandomwandererer @vipower001 @thordottir45 @blackrabbitt3t @rosecinnamonbun @bianca-hooks123 @epilepticnerd @dat1angel @consouling @flamingenchiladadragon

[vad-hander]

LET’S KEEP IT SECRET Pt.6

pairing: Jaehyun x reader x Yuta

others: SM Rookies, multiple SM and JYP idols

genre: series | idol!au | smut | angst | fluff | slow burn | unrequited love | friends to lovers (oops) | mutual pining | teenage to adults | idol!nct, idol!reader, teenage to adults (trainee days until today)

words: 5k

side note: as usual, I'll appreciate all your feedback and thoughts!

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7

“I think my childhood friend haunts me in my dreams.“ You stared off into the night sky on the balcony in your dorm. The dorm that was new and fresh and oh so comfortable, with air conditioning and what felt impossible at this point - less roommates.

It was just you and one more girl in your room and you couldn’t be any happier, because she did ballet classes as additional education and 3 days a week you had your room all to yourself for additional 3 hours. Since your’s and Yeji’s schedules were literally mirrored by now, you’d often spend those additional free hours on dance- or vocal practicing. It was one of those days and the two of you walked out to breathe in fresh air after sweating yourself on a SHINee choreography. 

“What?“ Yeji chuckled at the statement. It did sound a little funny, you had to admit, you did need to elaborate. 

“Yeah. I get absolutely not related to anything dreams and in those, somehow, there’s the same person, and I don’t even see their face, just like deep down  know who I am looking at.“ Your articulated with your hands. Thinking about those dreams made you feel funny, because they were projecting something you clearly didn’t feel. You couldn’t understand where all those feelings in your dreams came from and you couldn’t describe the feeling with any word but funny. “All those weird things happen in my dream and somehow when I wake up, and maybe while I’m dreaming too, I have this heavy feeling in my chest.“ You physically had to stop because you were starting to feel heavy once again. “Like I’m so deeply in love with them and in that dream world I know as a fact, that we’re attracted to each other and it’s like a crazy rollercoaster for us to be together, and sometimes it’s a happy ending sometimes not really. Sometimes I wake up before I can get to any logical ending.“ 

“Wah. Do you see correlation between dreams and what happened with you and that friend in real life?“ She smiled curiously. 

“No, we don’t even talk anymore, I haven’t heard of that friend or seen them in a long ass while, but I get these dreams literally out of the blue. Even if I’d purposefully think of that person - nothing, and then randomly one day I wake up and realise what just happened. Sometimes I don’t even remember my dream for a half a day and then randomly it hits me. And I get uncomfortable thinking of it.“ You pouted and took a look at Yeji. 

“It sounds a little crazy. I think I read somewhere we can see random people and things in our dreams. Not related to anything. Maybe your case is the dream isn’t related to anything. Or maybe your friend think of you and somehow call for you in dreams?“ She chuckled, trying to sound spooky or whatever.

“Well I feel like I’m being haunted.“ You admitted. You hated waking up everyday and thinking of Jaehyun. 

“Maybe you had those feelings for your friend back when you were friends?“ Feelings? For Jaehyun? Yeah, no. You almost said it out loud how ridicules the thought seemed to you. 

“I don’t think so. I had someone I actually liked-“ wow, this was a dangerous path, you had to be really careful with what you were saying. 

“Then maybe that’s how your friend felt? Was that a boy or a girl? What if that person misses you?“

“To be fair that’s not impossible, we did lose contact in a weird way, but he for sure isn’t thinking of me like that. There has never been even a hint on his side.“ 

“Why does it bother you?“ Yeji faced you properly, curious. You didn’t even know yourself, why it bothered you so much. It just did and you felt like it was safe enough to share those feelings with the girl.

“I don’t like feeling like I’m in love with someone when I’m not.“ 

“It’s just dreams. It’s not like you love each other, especially if you lost contact.“ She shrugged, she wasn’t bothered by what you were feeling and saying. You wished you could relate. 

“Yeah.“

“Just think of how would JYP react if he heard this.“ Yeji giggled, imagining your producers’ reaction. He had a specifically wild reactions to anything relationship related.

“I don’t want to imagine this. He’d most likely disown me in a second.“ 

“He’d literally flip out, and we wouldn’t want that. We both know what your real goal is. Don’t even think about it like that.“

“You’re right.“ You two paused, both in your own world. “Ugh, now whenever I get these dreams I feel like our producer’s going to pop out and scold me.“ You giggled, followed by Yeji. 

“Do you have this friends’ phone number? Maybe you should reach out and ask how he’s doing. Then you’ll understand these dreams are fictional, and could continue on with your life.“ 

“Wah-no, I wouldn’t call him. Nor text or even breathe his way.“ You panicked immediately. 

“Why?“ Well because it’s been a little under a year since your graduation and you haven’t seen him since then. Like, at all, and TV didn’t count. You were just ignoring his endless wish to continue your friendship and it hasn’t been too long since he finally gave in. You wanted Jaehyun to realise you grew apart, you wanted him to realise childhood friends go sometimes and you were two friends that took different paths. End of story. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t want to part ways, it doesn’t matter there was not even a reason for you part ways. You just felt so tired of this constant comparison from Yuta, and even worse in your brain sometimes of your boyfriend and friend. You had to let go of one, to make the other one, and more importantly YOU, make feel better. And you knew, that letting go of your boyfriend wasn’t the right thing to do. 

“We’re not friends anymore. I hate that sort of thing, popping out of nowhere when it’s unneeded.“

-

“Yuta?“ You chirped into the phone excitedly, you just got the news and first thing you did walking out the building - dialled his phone number.

“Yes, love, what’s up?“ He cleared his voice in what seemed to be confusion, like he just woke up or something.

“What date you said you’re going to be in LA?“ You started from afar, clearly excited and clearly having difficulties keeping yourself at bay.

“Ugh, I don’t remember. Wait a minute I’ll check our schedule. Why? Anything happen on those dates?“ you waited patiently for his confirmation, before you could tell him anything. “October 4th to 9th, why?“ Your breath hitched, you were too close to miss out on him. 

“I’m going to LA.“

“Huh?"

“With a few other girls, we’re going there to train for a couple of weeks before returning home for a final debuting decision. We’re coming on 6th. This is our first trip together just you and me kind of chance.“

“Baby, that’s awesome- Your debut-“ Yuta gasped and seemed much more lively than before. It was so sweet, that he was excited for you. 

“No, don’t say anything like about my debut before it’s set. I only care about both of us being in LA at the same time.“

“Okay.“

“I’ll look up things we could do.“

“Okay“

“I love you.“ You whispered under your breath excited. “This is going to be so good.“

“We’re attending some award on 8th and leave early on 9th, but other than that, I’m all yours.“ 

“Just one night?“ You were hoping for more, how did it come short to just one night, you pouted to yourself.

“I’m still excited even for one night. Love you, need to go.“ 

You didn’t just walk back home, you flew on hope and excitement and much more and you were buzzed and you went on with that buzz for the upcoming week, looking up things in LA, marking up places in Notes you could possibly visit, choosing options in case Yuta wouldn’t like your TOP-choice. You couldn’t think of what followed after that trip, you couldn’t think of the final decision on debut. You busied yourself like crazy, because it was pleasures being busy planning your date with Yuta and because it only felt right to focus on this. During practice breaks your brain still wandered to the main issue - it was you and 7 other girls, you all worked hard, you were all honestly worth the debut, but no one gave you even a single hint on the number of people in the final line up. You all just saw those papers saying Q1 2019 debut of a girl group and prayed you were part of it. It was supposed to make you feel better - less pressure to show off you skills, but honestly - everyone were on verge of breaking down.You only held yourself together because you went through this once already. 

You worked hard to erase previous memories, but you were scared. They still called you their backbone, secret weapon, main event and secret trainee, still told you were the centre of the planned group, but you won’t be able to crawl out of one more mental breakdown if things go south, you won’t be able to recover if this ends up as a fail too. 

Finally It came down to the packing day and right after that it finally came to the trip day. You got into the van and off to Incheon. None of you was sure if it was planned or a surprise for everyone - there were a few people with cameras at the Gate 2 entrance. All 8 of you panicked, you didn’t even understand what happened at first, looking around for some celebrity behind you, when the flash started to blind your little group. It took you a little time realising the cameras were pointed at you, you watched Yeji grab onto her face hidden behind the face mask and did the same in panic, lowering your head so the visor of your cap hid your eyes. You were just a bunch of girls that had a very questionable amount of supporters due to pre-debut activities, but mostly it was so low key you couldn’t even imagine someone gathering up to see you at the airport. Or more like, spending money on getting such information. The staffs gestured for you to move quickly and you trailed behind your manager like baby ducklings, finally escaping the following in the boarding area. Despite the shock, it somehow made the mood of everyone so light and positive. Neither of you could believe it was real - that people wanted to see you, you couldn’t stop daydreaming what would it be like leaving for schedules as a group, boarding in business, and not in economy like you had to now. 

You arrived at LAX safely and most importantly - calmly, getting into another van and transferring to what surprised you - a house. You weren’t used to this lifestyle, you all grew up in apartments, staying in a big mansion in the middle of the 2-story America made all of you excited.

“Wait, how many rooms is in this building?“ Lily wondered.

“Definitely more than in our previous dorm.“ Somi laughed and ran through the corridor. 

“Okay, listen up.“ The older manager clapped her hands. “There’s 6 rooms, since we have staffs on this trip, some of you need to stay in a room together.“ You and Yeji immediately grabbed each others hands. “There’s a 3-people room and a 2-people room mostly.“ Your fingers automatically grabbed Ryujin’s shoulder, forcing the girl to stand with you two, poor girl almost tripped over the bag behind her.

“We can share a room.“ Yeji announced what you implied and you nodded your heads in unison, Ryujin happily agreeing.

“Okay, go make yourself at home. Three weeks of hard work are upcoming. We have time to go out to the city today, so be ready to leave at 6.“ 

The three of you trailed off excitedly into your room. 

[17:02] to Yuta<3: <Location shared>

[17:02] to Yuta<3: I’m in the city!!!

[17:02] to Yuta<3: We’re staying in a cool west la house

[17:03] to Yuta<3: Wby?

[17:04] from Yuta<3: Ironically, koreatown

[17:04] to Yuta<3: kkkkkk

[17:05] from Yuta<3: I was thinking if we could see each other tonight?

[17:06] to Yuta<3: How do we make it work? 

[17:07] to Yuta<3: We’re going somewhere for dinner, I don’t think they’ll let me disappear on my own like that. 

[17:10] from Yuta<3: Send me your location when you’ll arrive 

[17:14] from Yuta<3: We’ll see what’s possible

[17:14] from Yuta<3: Love you 

[17:14] to Yuta<3:I love you

Now, despite the jet lag you wanted to look presentable, you wanted to always do your best when it came to Yuta. You quickly unlocked your suitcase, searching for a dress you packed just in case in 10s of training pants and shirts. You took a shower to feel fresh and packed a purse with necessities, earphones, tissues, a mirror, you found your passport, opening it just in case - your eyes darted towards its cover, where you always carried things like sim-cards, tickets, anything, to be fair, that fit. You pulled on a piece of paper and felt a lump in your throat. 

It was you and Jaehyun on your graduation day - his whiskers on display, just like you’d hoped they would. You didn’t need to look at the second piece of paper, it was the second photo of you staring at Jaehyun. You printed those to gift him back at the start of last year, but then everything changed and you just put them away and forgot they existed. You felt a little pinch on your heart and put the photos away back into the passport cover, pulling the one under outside and on top of the other.. You won’t have a chance to give him those anyway. You put your passport in the bag as well and was ready to leave. Finally both Yeji and Ryujin were done and you left the room at 5 minutes to 6, teasing collectively the manager that was late by 2 minutes.

As you promised, the moment you stepped foot in the restaurant, you sent Yuta the location. You were starving, deciding on eating first - walking later. You were just trainees, you didn’t have real money to dine at restaurants, so everything was company paid. You couldn’t stop talking between each other that company paying for a fancy dinner with meat and dessert MUST mean something. It just must. 

You were moving to dessert, when your phone ringed and you felt hot. You were so busy yapping with the girls and eating good food you forgot completely that you sent Yuta the address. 

[19:14] from Yuta<3:Come outside, will you?

Your legs moved faster than your tongue was able to tell everyone you left for the bathroom. You didn’t walk - you sprinted out to the street, your eyes immediately catching Yuta’s faded pinkish hair, you wheezed and a few people turned their heads at the crazy sound you made, taking off in his direction. Your arms immediately weaved around Yuta’s neck, you felt his palms encourage your legs to jump-hug him and you did so just how he wanted it. 

“Yuta.“ you breathed, your mouth clasping onto his before he could even say a word. “I missed you.“

“Hi baby.“ He smiled, satisfied that his surprise worked, that you were happy, that he was seeing you in real flesh. 

“What are you doing here?“ Your feet met with the ground once again, but you couldn’t unglue yourself from Yuta. “Girls and management are all inside. I can’t be here for too long.���

“I know, I just couldn’t go to sleep knowing we’re in the same city and not see you.“ You kissed him once again, immediately inviting his tongue to dance in unison with yours. You didn’t have time and you needed to drink up all of Yuta in this short time. It’s been a little too long since your last hourly motel-date and you needed more of him at all costs. 

“I can’t let go of you now.“ You whined in his mouth. “Can you take me somewhere with only you and me?“ 

“Mmh.“ Yuta’s fingers squeezed your side. “I will, I promise.“ Yuta pressed his body more against yours, you mewled, you didn’t want to move. You loved him so fucking much. “Do you have your phone? Or anything?“ 

“No, why?“ 

“Come inside and bring your things.“

“I can’t leave.“ You protested weakly into his ear. 

“I know, love, but can you?“

“I can’t promise I’ll return because this is going to be suspicious, but okay.“ You nodded and felt Yuta’s lips on yours, before he pushed you back to the restaurants entrance. 

“Baby?“ You turned around at the call “You look fucking beautiful.“ you beamed, biting on your cheeks and lips to calm yourself down before returning to the table.

“Are you okay?“ Yeji asked concerned. 

“Yes, just need my bag, a little something happened.“ You made your eyes wider and giggled and left before more questions could pop out. You quickly returned to the spot where you left Yuta, he smirked teasingly and kissed you once again, like he didn’t see you just a minute ago. 

“Can you give me your passport?“

“Yeah, hold up.“ You chuckled at the question, whatever he needed it for. You found the needed paper and handed it to Yuta. His fingers moved to the cover, looking for something in there.

“Where’s your ID? Isn’t it usually here?“ he chuckled and pulled on the pieces of paper that replaced your ID because you switched them in place just a couple of hours ago on accident.

“On the other side.“ You chuckled, and gestured for him to look on the other side of the cover. Yuta let go of the papers and moved his attention and you didn’t even realise before that you were holding your breath. You watched Yuta fish his phone out and take a pic of it. “Why?“ you smiled confused.

“Will tell you later.“ Yuta beamed, you wanted to kiss him, but your phone rang and you moved your attention to the screen.

“Hi, dad!“ You exclaimed excitedly and turned away from Yuta still holding on to your passport. If you turned back around just a moment earlier, you would’ve caught a glance of him pushing back the photos into the cover. “Yes, we’re in LA already. I forgot to call you, I’m sorry, we’re in the city having a dinner. I’ll send you pics.“ You smiled at your dad’s reply. Yuta smiled in return as he watched you speak, closing the distance, Yuta returned your passport to you, mouthing ‘I have to go’ and kissing your cheek before you could protest. He walked off so quickly and your dad called for you on the line and you could only focus on one thing so you just continued the conversation. “No, dad, it’s fine. The dinner is on company, I don’t need money.“ You smiled into the phone. 

“Y/n, is everything okay?“ You heard the manager’s voice behind you, jumping in place.

“Dad, wait. Ugh, yeah, my father called, I came outside to hear him better, I’m sorry.“ It was SO on time that Yuta left, you wanted to give a big breath out but couldn’t give yourself away.

“Okay, but dessert is served, come back quickly.“

“Sure.“ You nodded and finished the conversation with your dad.

-

[19:14] from Jeong Jaehyun: hi, boo

[19:14] from Jeong Jaehyun: I heard you are in LA too

[19:14] from Jeong Jaehyun: First of all, I’m so happy for you and this opportunity

[19:15] from Jeong Jaehyun: Second… I was just hoping you’d want to see me? I miss you a lot. 

Hundreds of electric shock waves ran through your body, you couldn’t even hear Somi calling for you to complete the formation. 

“Y/n?“ Yeji was able to bring you back to life, and you looked at her like dear in headlights. “Everything’s good?“

“Ah, yes, yes.“ You jumped up from the floor, dropping the phone back on the floor and focused yourself on the dance. You didn’t think you could do the new steps so clearly, your body moving like you had all the energy in the world, all thanks to Jaehyun. 

“Good, Y/n! Such clean steps!“ The choreographer exclaimed proudly as you did your centre part neatly. The music stopped and you had no escape to not reply to Jaehyun. It was always like this pangs of conscience hitting you hard if you didn’t immediately reply to him, and it was a whole damn asphyxiation of conscience when you didn’t reply of him at all. 

“Thank you.“ You bowed, smiled and clapped with the rest of the girl, sitting down right next to your phone

[19:55] from Jeong Jaehyun: Please at least let me know what I did wrong

[19:55] from Jeong Jaehyun: I feel so bad even though I don’t know what’s wrong

[19:55] to Jeong Jaehyun: Hi, Jaehyun

[19:55] to Jeong Jaehyun: I am in LA, I could only wonder who you could’ve heard this from ;)

[19:56] to Jeong Jaehyun: I heard from the same source that ya’ll are busy up to the day you’re leaving, so I’m not sure its possible

 [19:57] from Jeong Jaehyun: hi

[19:57] from Jeong Jaehyun: I’m free tonight, or after the award, or before we fly back home

[19:58] to Jeong Jaehyun: Well, I’m busy tonight, maybe tomorrow, I’m not sure

[19:58] to Jeong Jaehyun: I could tell you later

You really wanted to type him a no, but somehow your fingers weren’t moving in the needed direction of the letters, so you ended up with giving him hope.

[19:59] from Jeong Jaehyun: Busy with Yuta, right?

[19:59] to Jeong Jaehyun: Yes, why?

[20:00] from Jeong Jaehyun: He said he’s got a terrible headache and won’t be able to see you tonight, that’s why he told me you’re in LA

[20:00] from Jeong Jaehyun: So we’d keep each other company

You didn’t even bother to reply to Jaehyun, you didn’t bother to walk out the dance class, you dialled Yuta’s phone immediately, somehow being met with a turned off phone.

[20:01] to Jeong Jaehyun: Can you ask him to call me? He didn’t say anything about it

[20:01] to Jeong Jaehyun: His phone is off 

[20:01] from Jeong Jaehyun: He told me he’s going to just sleep

[20:02] from Jeong Jaehyun: He felt very sick earlier

[20:02] from Jeong Jaehyun: Maybe food poisoning 

[20:03] to Jeong Jaehyun: Are you pranking me?

[20:04] from Jeong Jaehyun: No, I’m honest

[20:04] from Jeong Jaehyun: He didn’t feel good since the morning and then just told me about you and got to his room to sleep

You dialled his phone once again, to no avail, messages, obviously didn’t come through. You felt so heartbroken, tricked maybe, just hurt. You were going though multiple things in your head at once. He didn’t even text you he felt sick, it wasn’t that difficult to type I’m sick, or anything else. He had enough strength to talk to Jaehyun anyway. You needed to hear this from Yuta.

You had a perfectly planned escape - Yeji would cover for you in case anything happens, bless her heart she didn’t even ask where you wanted to go and why. You had another 30 minutes to come back home, wash up and bring yourself to the designated place. Yuta had up his sleeve a whole day of being sick and didn’t message you even once. 

[20:05] to Jeong Jaehyun: okay

[20:05] from Jeong Jaehyun: okay let’s see each other or okay about Yuta?

[20:05] to Jeong Jaehyun: everything

[20:05] to Jeong Jaehyun: we’re in west LA, if you want to, come here.

[20:06] from Jeong Jaehyun: Just tell me what time

You looked at the clock again: 8pm, it would be not earlier than 9 when you’d be able to see him. 

[20:08] to Jeong Jaehyun: no actually

[20:08] to Jeong Jaehyun: A few of my friends & I really wanted to see the ocean so I think we’re going there

[20:08] to Jeong Jaehyun: You could come to Santa Monica

[20:08] to Jeong Jaehyun: I think it’s better you come with someone

[20:09] from Jeong Jaehyun: what time?

You felt so uneasy, why was he agreeing to everything. If you’d tell him you were in San Diego, would he just asked you for the time too? You wanted to make it late so he’d back off. You were so upset about Yuta, you couldn’t even bother to care about Jaehyun’s suggestions or questions. 

[20:09] to Jeong Jaehyun: 10 pm central entrance to the beach

[20:10] to Jeong Jaehyun: c ya

"Who you’re texting with that face expression?" Yeji giggled and bumped shoulders with you.

“What face?" Annoyed, angry, mad?

“I don’t know, just full of emotions.“ she smiled. You watched people walk around the room, in a formation that didn’t include neither Yeji or you, when the music blasted in your ears, you answered.

“Remember I was under SM for a little while?“

“Of course, few years, not a little while.“

“Yeah, like that. Well, somehow, some of the people I’ve trained with are in LA too.“

“Okay?“

“They’re asking to see me, I said me and my friends wanted to go to Santa Monica, so they’re coming to Santa Monica around 10 pm, so we have to be there around 10 pm.“ Yeji exclaimed excited. “Yeah, but how are we going to go this late somewhere alone.“

“I’ll just ask.“ Yeji shrugged and got up quickly to your manager, you really wanted to stop her before she could start talking, but she batted her eyelashes and in a moment you saw the manager give her a nod and Yeji happily ran back to you. “It’s fine.“

“H-how?“

“She said it’s near our stay and we’re adults, just to come back so we’re okay for tomorrows practice.“

“Crazy.“ You opened your mouth.

You stood next to the stairs that would take you to the beach, arriving a little earlier than planned. The three of you felt a little uncomfortable as a homeless man walked across the street and gave you looks you couldn’t distinguish. You invited Ryujin too, because leaving her in the room alone felt like crime.

“Oh, by the way.“ You cleared your voice and the homeless man stared at you with wide eyes, probably confused with the language you spoke. “I didn’t specify the friends that are coming.“

“Yeah, is it some girls that didn’t debut yet? Or is it Red Velvet?“ Yeji exclaimed excited at the thought.

“Ugh, no.“ you giggled. “Have you heard of NCT?“

“NCT?“ Ryujin repeated louder than you said it.

“Yeah, the friend that reached is an NCT member. I don’t know who he’ll bring with him, but please don’t flip out or anything. I promise you they’re all losers and being active idols isn’t making them any special.“

“What’s up, ladies?“ Johnny said loudly in English as he and the boys turned the corner that took to you. 

“Oh my god.“ both Yeji and Ryujin gasped. You almost did too, Jaehyun brought Johnny and Haechan, they were getting closer to you, walking in age order. Jaehyun, wow, you had to look away because you kind of was staring at your best friend and it wasn’t a good thing. 

“Hi.“ You smiled “This is Yeji and Ryujin, we’re training together. This is Hyuck, Johnny and Jaehyun.“

“We know.“ Both girls smiled like fools and you really regretted bringing anyone but yourself.

“Hi, nice to meet you.“ Jaehyun beamed politely, his dimples popping out and face turning into that soft grin as his eyes focused on you. “Hi, boo.“ He said loud enough for everyone to hear and make you a little embarrassed, only to make your face bright red colour when he decided to lean in and hug you, not forgetting to comment on your appearance. “You look very pretty, just as usual.“ His fingers patted your upper back and you lost balance. 

“Ah! Five seconds in and they’re already on their soulmate shit!“ Haechan exclaimed loudly and gestured for everyone to walk away. Surprisingly they did just that and Jaehyun let go of you a moment later. 

“Y/n never mentioned before she was this close to NCT!“ Ryujin pointed her hand towards Jaehyun, as they were darting away from you 

“We’re not that close.“ You denied, obviously, hoping they’re still able to hear you.

“Yeah, sure. You’re only didn’t come out from the same womb. As for everything else-“ Haechan teased back, obviously, it wasn’t his style to agree to anything anybody said.

“You don’t look like a baby anymore.“ Jaehyun smiled, taking your attention and not letting you hear what Haechan had to say. 

“And you still do.“ You cracked a smile, making Jaehyun giggle. “Is Yuta okay? He still haven’t messaged me.“ your main concern was still pretty clear, you were confused as hell with the way your boyfriend vanished. It was supposed to be you and him, not you, Jaehyun and other 4 people.

“He’s probably still sleeping.“

“Okay.“ You tried to hold back from looking down and giving away that you were upset but clearly failed, because Jaehyun’s fingers gripped onto yours in support. It felt so unusual, his warm long fingers on yours, a gesture that was with you all along your friendship. You’d grip onto each others fingers when you were upset, excited, happy, you used to just squeez his digits between yours and everything felt better. But now the heat that he was exceeding surprised you, its like you never experienced it in that way. 

“Boo, I’m so sorry, I know I wasn’t exactly who you wanted to see tonight.“ Jaehyun wasn’t a fool, it was clear he knew who this evening was booked for prior to him. 

“Don’t be ridiculous.“ You had to wave him off. Admitting he was right probably was too cruel even for someone that tried to make their friend dislike them. You wanted him to no t be interested in being your friend, not hate your guts. “I’m so happy to see you, I wish sometimes we still had each other like we used to.“ You admitted stupidly on a first breath, and wrapped your hands around his waist for a real hug, tucking your face in his chest. Jaehyun wrapped both your shoulders in his usual manner, patting your head lovingly. 

“Well, you failed to push me away. I’m still here and only one call away, always. Like I promised you on your last day at SM.“

“That I really hate you for.“ You murmured more to yourself, then him, hoping he wasn’t able to hear you. 

“Will you two move, or you’re having a date now?“ Johnny shouted teasingly from a far. Only now did you noticed the two of you two really lagged behind. 

You parted from Jaehyun, taking the stairs to catch up with the rest of the people, Jaehyun trailing behind you, his fingers wrapping around yours in uncanny manner, like he needed to hold on to you to keep up with your pace and you let him. 

-

I'm so excited for next Monday's chapter !!! ☺️

[redheadspark]

this is from the grumpy and sunshine list- why don’t you give up on me like everyone else and you’re not gonna get rid of me that easily with azriel please! x

A/N - Awww this is sweet for Azriel! Thanks for the request, anon!

Lift

Summary - Azriel knows when you lift you when you're down.

Warnings - mostly angst with a hint of fluff

The silence in the room was a bit deafening as you heard the door opening and closing behind you, knowing fully well who it was thanks to your bond humming.  Of course, your hum was beyond happy that your mate was now in the room, though your spirit was less so.  The stress of work at the Community Center, almost losing some of your purchases that you made the day before thanks to mishandling when you were walking throughout the street, was all too much. You were rethinking the day over and over again, wondering where you went wrong and what you could have done to make it better.

But nothing was coming to mind, and you sighed in frustration.

“Bad day?” You heard a deep yet soothing tone, you said nothing at first as you were still looking at your lap, “Rhysand told me a little bit, but I wanna hear the rest from you,”

“Why?” You meekly asked, sniffling a bit as you had the overwhelming urge to cry on the spot.  How could your mate be so gentle when you were beyond angry with yourself?  When everything that could go wrong did go wrong, your emotions were all over the place, and all you wanted to do was hide under the sheets and help that it would all go away.  

“Because talking it out is the best way,” he reminded you soothingly as you heard him walking around the bed that you were perched on, finally having you feel his shadows lick against your skin to give you some sense of comfort, “Bottling it up is hard and not healthy,”

“I’ve done it so many times that sometimes….it’s the only thing I can do,” You admitted, another lick from his shadows along your arm as you felt a tear escape your eye and slide down your cheek, “Why do I let stuff get to me?”

“You have a massive heart, that’s why,” You looked over at your mate, Azriel, who smiled softly at you as one of his scarred fingers reached over to trace away the teardrop that was about to fall, then cupping your face gently, “But even those with the biggest hearts tend to be hard on themselves,”

You leaned into his hand as he kept his gaze on you with his hazel eyes, “I’m so used to dealing with this on my own for the longest time….and I don’t mean to shut you out---“

“I know,” He hummed, leaning over to kiss your cheek lovingly, “And you’re not,”

You both loved and hated how Azriel loved you with all his heart.  When you two found out you were mates it was awkward, to say the least since you two were merely acquaintances.  You were more uneasy with the notion of being mates with the Spymaster of Night Court, not to mention a Shadowsinger and one of the deadliest Illryians far and wide.  However, Azriel never minded being mated with you.  In fact, he was the optimistic one and took the bond wholeheartedly.  With plenty of work and dedication, you both became a fierce couple and deeply in love with one another.

But like all couples, you two had burdens and responsibilities that you carried. Azriel’s was more dangerous since he was a notorious spy and had to go out on missions constantly.  Not to mention, training new Illyrians at the camp, then going to plenty of meetings, and visiting other courts.  His plates were almost full on a daily basis, but Azriel made it a habit to not bring his work home to you and your small little home that was out in the countryside of Velaris.  

Your burdens were more deep, thanks to your troubled past and your brutal relationship with your father.  He was tough on you, making you feel so small and placing the notion of not being good enough in your mind.  The trauma followed you until your adult years, making you finally leave your childhood home and your father behind to find your new path in life.  The pain and uneasiness placed a rough callous over yourself, making you think that there was no way to be tender again.

Azriel seemed to be the one who broke away the callous and made your tender again.

“Is it wrong for me to wonder why don’t you give up on me like everyone else?” You asked in a mumble.  Azriel felt his heart break from the notion, wrapping you in his arms instantly as you nuzzled into him and breathed in his scent.  He knew of your past, how much pain you went through simply for being yourself and wishing to be the best version of yourself.  

Azriel hated your father for constantly making you feel useless and defeated, thanking his lucky stars that he never had the chance to meet the fae.  Azriel would have brought him pain for all he did to you, to use those unwarned notions in your mind to show him the night's true nightmares.  

Yet all Azriel had was you, and he was going to use all he could to bring you happiness.  

“You are far too kind and beautiful for anyone to give up on,” Azriel reminded you as his fingers rubbed your arms and shoulders, “I know you went through far too much for one person in their lifetime, and yet you’re still standing, right?”

“Right,” You mumbled into his shirt that he changed into.

“Don’t let those voices tell you otherwise,” Azriel explained, “Those voices are lies.  They mean nothing, not to the Inner Circle who consider you family,  not to Rhysand and Feyre who took you in when you came to Night Court and treated you like a family, and not to me as your mate and the love of your life.”

The tears were no longer falling, and a sense of warmth was now blooming in your chest from hearing those words that Azriel was saying to you.  He knew just what to do when you felt like you were at your lowest, knowing just how to lift you back on your feet with ease.  

“You’re not gonna get rid of me that easily,” Azriel hummed into your hair as he pressed a soothing kiss along your skin, “Not now, not ever.  I’m not saying that because we’re mates, I’m saying it because I love you,”

You kissed his chest, not needing to say more since you knew deep inside that he was telling the truth.  Azriel always reassured you that he loved you not just because of the mating bond you two had.  As time went on, you both grew as lovers and as a couple, not wishing to rely solely on your bond to make your relationship work.  You were companions and friends, leaning on each other through thick and thin. Of course, this was one small moment of sadness for you.

Small compared to the constant happiness and joy you felt when you had your mate at your side. 

The End.

[cannibalgenders]

I have a lot of thoughts about the way mental illness is treated by the Yellowjackets writers and the fandom, particularly when it comes to the vilification and/or deification of Lottie Matthews but I’m not schizophrenic and it’s not really my place to say what’s what when it comes to that but I DO want to talk about the other character who everyone seems to agree displayed mental illness before the events of the crash and that’s Misty Quigley

The first time we see Misty she’s watching a rat drown with something close to apathy, which is to me clear visual language of what they’re setting Misty up to be. See, there’s this disproved (but still commonly used within entertainment media) psychological theory called the Macdonald Triad, or sometimes the “triad of sociopathy”. It essentially claims that three behaviors displayed by children and teens can predict if they will develop ASPD in adulthood, or become violent criminals. The behaviors are bedwetting, firesetting, and cruelty to animals. The fact that we see Misty behaving cruelly towards animals in her FIRST scene is a clear statement of intention in regards to where her character is going

Now, all of the behaviors in the Macdonald triad are actually more closely linked with prolonged childhood abuse or neglect, which leads to the DEVELOPMENT of personality disorders in some cases, lighting fires or whatever doesn’t actually make you a “sociopath”.

And…Misty isn’t really, either. At least not at first. I personally could very easily see Misty as having ASPD (or conduct disorder, since she’s a minor), but in season 1 the writers seem like they’re putting a lot of effort into associating Misty with this sort of false Hollywood perception of a “sociopath” rather than people with an actual Cluster B personality disorder. And like, Misty displays an obvious lack of empathy and concern for others’ autonomy from the very beginning, but I really and truly wasn’t sold on Misty as a sympathetic portrayal or as representation until closer to the end of Season 2

And really is was Samantha Hanratty that sold me. Because there’s a BIG discrepancy in the way Samantha and the way Christina portrays Misty. 40 year old Misty is an adult set in her ways, she’s clinging to the people who made her feel useful 25 years ago but her old eagerness, her ability to be genuinely affected or hurt has been diminished a LOT. She’s got incredibly muted emotions, masks near constantly, and is willing to do just about anything to maintain her control over wildly out of hand situations.

Whereas Samantha’s young Misty is still in a place where she’s trying to reach out- something’s “wrong” with her, sure, but she genuinely believes that others still have the ability to appreciate her for her authentic self, and much of her manipulative behavior is in search of that validation. Yeah, she doesn’t know how to go about yeah, yeah she’s fucked up, but she’s sharing bits of herself with the expectation that this will get her what she wants, and she’s repeatedly being smacked down.

And then we see the loss of Crystal. The final loss that sort of cements for her that genuine display of emotion and authenticity is doomed to destroy her and everything she cares about. So she stops caring. She detaches. And that really hit me as the most accurate portrayal I’m going to get of what the inside of my head feels like. Her brain keeps her from feeling much in adulthood as protection, but it’s so fucking boring that she’s going through the motions of who she was before all that, playacting at the bubbly musical theater loving dork she could have been, just to try and get some of that excitement back.

And now I’m wondering, with clinging to those old connections having bitten her in the ass so thoroughly, is Misty going to drop the mask completely? Give up on every being anything to anyone? Go back to isolation and manipulation and violence? Or is there hope for her, like Natalie, to make a different choice this time?

[multi-fandom-friend]

🌑Creepypastas Personalities and things they do in my eyes🌑

🫀 Eyeless Jack is very stoic, not showing much emotion ever. If he has to, for example if he helps to calm down Sally he’ll show concern. But outside of the mansion he never shows emotion. He’s kind when he wants to be, and isn’t completely heartless. If a pasta that he particularly likes is sick than he’ll go out of his way to check on them and grabbing something they need and once his sees that they’re okay he’s gone. If one of the proxies gets hurt in the field? He’s actually throwing a fit that they should be more careful. He’s one of those types of people where he gets mad when someone’s hurt because he couldn’t stop them from it, but he’ll never admit it.

🌲 Slenderman I see as a father figure for everyone. He’s is like a single dad. With the help of two out of his 3 brothers (offenderman is seen as a disgrace to his family’s name and unfit to be around children, especially Sally) He lets the kids (the grown adults that most of them are) rant if they want and tries to have fun with them. He understands that almost all of them didn’t have good childhoods and he feels bad. That’s why he keeps taking them in, having them promise to work for him. Once they say yes, he takes them in and the mansion grows another room (or tombs as I like to call them) 🎮 Ben is pretty nice. Sure, he’s snarky sometimes but he’s a kid. What do you expect? Plus he stays in his room most of the time or he’s hanging out with Jeff. He sees some of the other proxies as his siblings, but he’ll never admit it. Never in a billion years. He’d rather go swimming. Slender does have to trick him into showering because of how scared of water he is. Don’t ask me how bc I dunno. Personally, I would just spray him with a hose. But I digress

🧸 Sally is the average little girl, but she gets angry easily. I’m not sure where people got the notion that she wouldn’t be an angry restless spirit but that’s their opinion and it’s valid too. I feel like she’s usually nice and kind like everyone says but if she sees offenderman or anyone she deems a threat she can and will throw one of her “fits” where she makes the house rumble and she throws things towards the threat. She’s done it because she saw a spider. 🔪 Jeff is an ass. Period. But he does see the creepypastas as some sort of family. He’ll never admit it either. He makes fun of everyone because that’s how he shows affection. The only person who recognizes that is liu, his brother, who says nothing. Slender tries his best to just leave the kid alone, if he’s behind honest he’s kinda worried about him, but he says nothing. Jeff also is really smart he just never uses his brain so no one knows that.

🐍 liu is shy and quiet. Doesn’t really like talking to many of the proxies so he just keeps to himself. He only ever talks to slenderman and masky really. Sometimes he’ll have a chat with his brother, but he and his brother don’t have a very good relationship. He’s very cuddly when he wants to be and only when he wants to be. He loves a good book. Usually true crime books or something with a good plot. He doesn’t like romance novels because it reminds him too much of who he lost. He tries to be as optimistic as possible, but sometimes it’s hard for him.

🍬 LJ is giddy and goofy, always cracking weird jokes. He has learned over time what everyone’s sense of humor is so he’ll make jokes based off of that. Have dark humor? Dark jokes. Have dad humor? He’ll crack a good dad joke. Deep down he likes making people laugh still, he just doesn’t wanna be laughed at. He’s the one who hangs out with Sally the most when slenderman isn’t around because 1. He has the same childlike wonder and 2. Slenderman thinks he’s funny enough to keep that little ball of energy occupied long enough to not run off into the woods and find some poor hiker and scare the soul outta them.

🪓 Toby is kinda a mix of quiet and a fuck. He likes being nice to some people when he wants and then he’ll be a dick to others. I have a headcanon that he has BPD so that’s why he constantly switches between being nice and acting like you murdered his cat in cold blood. Usually he’s pretty nice and knows how to control it most of the time but it gets the better of him. He is also very good friends with Ben and Jeff, being nicer to Ben and meaner to Jeff. I don’t think he’d hang out with Masky and hoodie too often, but that’s just my opinion.

🚬 Masky’s just plain “I don’t want to talk to you leave me alone.” Never has liked talking never will like it. He has exceptions for certain people like Hoodie and Slenderman. Sometimes he’ll talk to liu because he’s actually one of the more chill proxies and leaves people alone unless they want to talk to him. You could also probably find him smoking outside or sitting outside Slenderman’s office because he feels important when he’s near him. 🍁 Hoodie is the opposite of Masky. Wanna talk? He’s so down. Loves talking about everything and anything. If there’s a mission, though? He stays quiet. Doesn’t talk. He’s laser focused. it’s like he has 2 different personalities.

⚕️ nurse Ann seems like the type that likes taking care of people. She is a nurse after all. She just doesn’t like men very much, considering what happened to her. She trusts most of the proxy boys not to do anything, but if they do then she doesn’t let them near her again. She gives off lesbian vibes and I kinda headcanon that she is dating or best friends with Jane. After missions she’ll patch up the people that need it and I think she’d have her own little infirmary tucked in the corner of the mansion with everything she could possibly need.

🖤 Nina is the perfect example of an extrovert. She’s so hyped up and excited that she gives Sally a run for her money. Contrary to popular belief I think she’d be pretty good friends with Jane. They both got their heart broken by Jeff but Nina continues to try and get him to love her. She likes baking and playing games with all the proxies. Sure she’s seen as annoying but she’s really one of the only extroverted people in the manor.

🕷️ Jane is quiet and kind. She likes to help where she can. I see her as religious to some extent? Not a woman of god per say but a different religion. I feel like she would be pagan and have an altar of some sort to some kind of deity. She is usually in the library reading some sort of book or bringing a book from there to the infirmary to read to Ann.

A/N: this took me a few hours to write because I had to think and plan the ones I wanted to do. Likes and reposts are highly appreciated!

[genericpuff]

Sorry for the racist anon

I dunno how it works for Native Americans, but In Australia, those with Indigenous bloodlines are considered First Nations, no matter their skin tone of ethnic features.

This is largely due to ethnic genocide and colonisation, which I’m guessing Native Americans also experienced(of course), so to see a Indigenous person cry that someone’s “too white” to be First Nations is sickeningly ignorant.

aha I appreciate that <3

And I actually can totally relate to that because my bloodline falls under First Nations labelling! Except instead of being Australian, I'm Canadian haha I don't know if it was the same in Australia but it was practiced for a long time here (I think up until the 80's?) that if you were a First Nations woman who married a non-First Nations man, you'd lose your status as a First Nations woman. So my grandmother, who was raised in a residential school from a very young age, lost her legal status after marrying a French man and that passed on to her children and even her grandchildren. So I actually wasn't legally considered First Nations until around my preteens/teenage years when we were able to contest our status and bloodline with the government and get it back. Colonization unfortunately runs very deep in my family across the generations going back to my grandmother, much of my father's side of the family are strictly Christian (like, I'm talking "women aren't allowed to wear pants" type Christian) and I was raised as someone who was visibly different in a community of predominantly French/Irish people, but no one had the tools or resources to tell me why I was different without giving me an extremely whitewashed version of events. It makes me really upset for past me because being different really alienated me from a culture I didn't understand and didn't want to bother understanding at the time - I didn't want to be First Nations, because being First Nations was "weird" and "different" and I wanted to fit in.

Thankfully now I'm an adult and I've learned that my culture isn't something to be ashamed of, but proud of. Sometimes it makes me a little sad to feel like a foreigner to my own peers, where I'm learning about traditions and norms that many already had from childhood, but it's been a fun learning experience and it brings me so much joy to reconnect to a history and culture that was almost wiped out with my grandmother. I'm glad I learned about my culture and what was almost taken from me before it was too late.

It's frankly why it really shocked me in that previous ask, hearing "eh, you're not brown enough to be Indigenous and you should stfu" because I was literally picked on and singled out - even by my own white-passing family members - for being brown and "the odd one out" growing up. Being called a "cracker" was definitely a new one for me, I've been called every other manner of name for being darker-skinned and having visibly native features but never a name for not being dark-skinned enough ?? Like man, that's wild. Unlocking some whole new side content right here LMAO

[romanarose]

All right, I lied I’m talking about it again

CW for mentions of sexual assault, CSA, supposed, pedophilia, fandom, discourse, kink, etc, etc

First, let me explain to those confused, what happened and then I’ll defend myself and then we’ll leave it there because once I go through everything your opinion is just going to be based on your point of view and I can’t really argue you out of that which is fine, so just go ahead and block me if you think I’m a creep weirdo or anything else that Radiohead says

Today as I am in class packing up my shit to leave right after my presentation I get a notification from a Tumblr mutual that said that a Tumblr blog I’ve never heard of or interacted with is posting about me in a harassing way so I go and I check it into my surprisethey posted screenshots of my most recent fanfiction. I miss you Mr. Miller.

The post explicitly called me a pedophile. I’ll share the screenshots, but the username as far as I can tell has been cropped out of everything. If you want to send and ask to this person and say your peace, I can’t stop you, but I ask you not harass this person, and simply report the post, if you know who it is

In one of the re-blogs or an answer to an ask, they called for mass, reporting my blog

No, I don’t say this to say that people who have been through what I’ve been through can’t be pedophiles or abusers, because they absolutely can but I say this to say why I had such a reaction to this and why I write the things I write

I have been a victim of child, sexual abuse was stocked, threatened and sexually harassed by an older man. When I was 17, lost my virginity to rape and 18, and then was raped again at 19 so believe me when I say that throwing around these words is shocking to me to just call me a pedophile. I write the things I write, innocent, reader, virgin reader, daddy kink, because of the things that I have been through sometimes as a reclamation of the experiences that I have suffered, sometimes as coping sometimes as comfort depends on the story.

No, let’s talk the specific issues

1. Shoes. Before I saw any of this, someone had DM me politely mentioning the shoes saying that they looked like child feet and that they wanted to make sure they were adult feet. I responded back that when I found the shoes on Pinterest they didn’t say anything one way or another, but I specifically look at the descriptions of clothing items because I don’t want to use clothing items that aren’t made for adults. If I can help it however, reverse image search shows that those are in fact an adult size and an adult model.



2. The dress once again, when I found the dress on Pinterest, I had already sorted out several dresses that I liked that first glance, but when I look at the description they said, teen or tween. It’s hard to tell right away it was certain styles there’s no model the dress is meant for what age I remember in my young adult hood when I was still dressing feminine and was a much smaller size. I sometimes found clothes at thrift stores. I thought were cute and would later find out they were meant for teens or twins, such as life.

2 Readers. Reader is 21+. Me personally I don’t put reader is 18+ in all my stories or my age gap stories, nor do I expect to see them when I read age gap stories in other peoples works, because I just assume everyone is an adult unless there’s some thing that tips me off against that, however, straight off the bat, the idea of being fucked in your childhood bedroomI feel like implies that she is one no longer a child and two doesn’t live there anymore. A couple chapters in, her and Joel are at her apartment and she was buying a new mattress having an apartment in itself implies at least 18 buying a new mattress is something you do in your 20s lol because no one was still in their name is gonna get excited about a mattress sale on Presidents’ Day. Then she was out drinking with Joel in a bar and yes, minors can get snuck into bars all the time I was a minor snuck into bars, however in this particular context, it just doesn’t make sense because Joel reader were already afraid of being seen together together. Joel wouldn’t want to add buying drinks for someone under 18 and taking them home after the bar to the list of worries and I know that in a lot of countries, the age of drinking can vary but in the US we’re both I live and where Joel fictionally lives the drinking age of 21, hence 21+ no none of the stuff I mentioned guarantees and reader but to me it’s coding in the same way that the people making accusations towards me are saying that reader is “coded“ as a child

3. Sex in the church. This was an afterthought in the person‘s post but I’ll address it anyway because they’re losing their mind that I mentioned having sex in a church for the context of the thick. Specifically, they had sex in a church bathroom, not in the actual sanctuary, or the pews, or anything however, for the record, I don’t got a problem with fanfiction having sex in a church because it’s not real. I would never actually have sex in a church, I try to go up to avoid going to a church as much as possible. The fanfiction isn’t real, it can’t hurt you

Lesson fucking learned, explicitly say reader is 18+ every time or someone is gonna accuse you of being a pedo

In the end, it’s not gonna change anyone’s minds. Because if you think that calling someone daddy, being hyper or liking to be babied, anything like that, makes you a pedophile, then I can’t really ration my way out of this.

However, I want to say thank you to everyone who reached out. A lot of blogs I’ve never interacted with a lot of friends, mutuals and on or blogs that I’ve followed on here for a year. Now I’ve reached out to me and offer their support which I really really appreciate and I cannot appreciate enough.

Hopefully I can still enjoy my cousins wedding this weekend and get my schoolwork done that I need to before going back to classes on Monday and that this doesn’t make more worse my already precarious mental health. But I’ve gotten so much love in so many kind words that it’s hard not to feel grateful for the amount of support I’ve gotten.

Between this and a minor hoopla about my pride even, I’m kinda sick of tumblr sometimes but y’all remind me of the good

Yes, you can re-blog, and if you wanna know who it is then ask someone else that’s fine I don’t really care that much. I just don’t want to be dog piling the person.

However, please report it. Because people are still sharing it, and commenting and liking especially about the shoe size

That’s it that’s my peace