#and still what ends up being read is random

[dudeitiskarev]

Maybe Someday | Ch. 9

A Spencer Reid mini-series

Pairing: Spencer Reid x female reader

Chapter summary: The result of reader and Spencer's love is the start of a lifetime together.

Word count: 3k

Tags/warnings: unplanned pregnancy; pregnancy symptoms; doctor's appointments; talks of HIV+; suggestive content; mentions of suicide.

Author’s note: Okay I lied. This is the last chapter and decided to merge it with the epilogue because I'm so indecisive and this is just better. There's a big time jump here. I'd like to leave what happens between last chapter and this one to your imagination. Mostly because reader and Spencer stopped being stupid and although reader still has her struggles with attachment and self-sabotage and all that, it's not something worth writing to me. Like I've said, this is a light-hearted story and all about the vibes <3 so I hope that's okay! I still plan on writing blurbs about cut scenes! I hope you enjoy this one!!!!! more comments at the end of your read.

Ps: this is for Lara and her baby fever <333

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | SPENCER MASTERLIST

Spencer Reid was in love and the entire world knew about it.

In any conversation, at any given chance, he brought you up. The team hadn’t met you yet and Penelope kept saying he just wanted to keep you all to himself. Which wasn’t entirely a lie. He wasn’t rushed to introduce you to them, and the right moment to do it hadn’t come up yet. 

Plus, you’d been busy with your new position at the cafe as manager, so seeing you walking through the glass doors of the bullpen on a random morning was a surprise. 

Spencer rose from his desk as soon as he saw you and at the same time, the security guard who was with you gestured with his head in Spencer’s direction. 

You almost ran to each other. 

“What’s wrong?” was the first thing he asked when you met halfway.

You played with the string of the visitor credential around your neck. You looked terrified. 

“Is there somewhere private we could talk?”

“Oh.” Penelope’s voice came out of nowhere, like an entity who had floated next to Spencer. “Oh, it can’t be.” Her eyes darted from you and Spencer and her smile grew wide and wider. “Is this… is she… are you…”

“Spencer’s girlfriend?” You smiled at her, and the terror in your eyes faded a bit thanks to Gracia’s presence.

“Oh my goodness!” Penelope went to hug you right away as if you’d turned into her closest friend just by saying that. “It’s so nice to finally meet you!”

You hugged her back while widening your eyes at Spencer propping your chin over Garcia’s shoulder. 

“Nice meeting you too.” You matched her enthusiasm. “I just came for a quick surprise visit.” You let go of the hug but kept holding Garcia’s hand for a moment. “You must be Penelope.”

“He talks abo— You talk about me?” Garcia widened her eyes at Spencer. 

“I talk to her about everyone.” A smile tugged at the corner of his lips while nodding. 

He talked to you about his team all the time, and the word he often used to describe Gracia was bright. Whether it was about her personality or outfits. 

“What gave me away?” Penelope asked you excitedly. 

“Uh…” you hesitated. 

“BAU team.” Hotch’s voice got everyone’s attention. He was just arriving. “Let’s meet at the round table in twenty.” He walked past you two and directed a gentle nod at you. 

“That must be Hotch,” you said.

“She’s good.” Garcia looked at Spencer then at you. “You’re good.”

Garcia had to excuse herself, not without saying, “It was so lovely to meet you,” while waving you goodbye.

Now it was just you and Spencer again.

“Bad timing?” You winced, taking a step closer.

Spencer leaned and kissed the corner of your mouth. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“We have twenty minutes.”He took your hand and guided you out of the bullpen before anyone else saw you.  

“Where are we going?” You hurried your steps to keep up with his long legs.

He didn’t respond and kept walking until you reached a stairwell.

“This might be the only place where we could have some privacy.” He shut the door. He chose a blind spot just in case Garcia decided to watch him through the surveillance cameras. “Is everything okay?”

You gulped and started playing with the string around your neck again.

“I’d been feeling very sick these past few days,” you began. “And I didn’t mention it to you because I didn’t think it was a big deal. Thought it was something I ate.”

“Okay.” He paid special attention. You were anxious. 

“But my period was supposed to come last week.”

Oh.

“And it hasn’t yet.”

Oh.

“I have an irregular period so I didn’t think much of it. I let the thought go.” You shrugged. “But today at work the smell of steamed milk made me run to the bathroom. I puked everything.”

Oh, shit.

“So I bought some tests.” You snuck your hand inside your purse and showed him not one, but three pregnancy tests inside a Ziploc bag.

All of them were positive. 

Very positive. 

A smile bloomed wide on his lips.

“Spencer.” You placed your palm on his cheek to get him to look at you. “The condom must’ve broken. You need to get tested.” 

Only then it hit him why you were so worried. 

He’d taught you all about the chances and percentages about your disease, so you already knew it was only a 0.1% chance that he’d gotten transmitted. 

“I got tested two weeks ago and it was negative,” he commented right away. He has had periodical tests since the first time you two had sex.

“I know, but we don’t have sex every two weeks.” You kind of laughed. “We don’t know when this happened.” 

Spencer sighed and brought you close into a hug, kissing your temple. For some reason, getting tested was the least of his worries. 

You were pregnant. 

A baby. 

His baby. 

“I’ll get tested again first thing tomorrow, don’t worry.” 

You nuzzled your face onto his chest and breathed him in. “Spencer? What does this mean?”

He pulled away and scanned your face. You were the most beautiful creature. The kindest, funniest and strongest person he’d ever known. He wanted to have a family with you. He wanted a lifetime and to grow old with you. 

It wasn’t a thing to celebrate yet. Spencer understood if you still had doubts about it.

Still, there was a box of pizza in front of you and two cans of coca-cola. Which happened to be the food you two liked to eat when something to celebrate happened.

“So?” He asked you, leaning forward to take a sip of his drink.

You sat cross-legged on the couch and reached for a slice. “We’ve talked about this a few times.” You took a bite and stared at him as you chewed.

He liked the way you ate. “We even have a list of names.” He smiled. That list was somewhere in his drawer.

“If you’re all in, I’m all in.” You placed your empty hand over his thigh and squeezed. “I love you. And I know we’re meant to grow old together.”

“I know.” He enveloped your hand with his. “I love you, too.”

“I can already picture you being a dad.” You put your half-eaten slice back on the box and jumped on his lap, circling his nose with yours. 

He leaned just enough to kiss you. “Pizza kisses.”

“Our favorite.” You kissed him back. 

Then he kissed you again. And again.

“Don’t kiss me like that,” you squealed between a high-pitched laugh.

“Like what?” He moved his kisses to your jaw.

“I’m very hormonal I—” you gasped at the way he nibbled your skin between more kisses. 

Spencer snuck one hand under your shirt and pulled you closer by your waist.

“It’s making me want to jump your bones right here,” you whimpered, tangling your fingers at the back of his head.

“That’s good because we left some condoms under the couch last time we had sex here in case something like this—” he went back to kiss you, this time it was an open mouth kiss. “—happened.”

It was inevitable making love that night right there on the couch with a bunch of I love you’s floating around the apartment.

The night before the truth. 

At seven am the next day he was getting his blood work done and by nine, you were at the gynecologist.

“This is going to feel a little cold,” the doctor warned as he applied gel on your belly. 

Spencer held your hand, and despite not knowing the results about his test yet, hope was all he could feel. 

“There’s your baby.” The doctor froze the picture and pointed at a dark spot. “Oh, wait, sorry.”

You two looked at each other with confusion. Then Spencer looked at the screen again. There were two dark spots.

“There’s two of ‘em,” Spencer said just above a whisper.

Your eyes widened and you let out a small laugh. “You’re kidding.” Then you looked at the doctor. “He’s kidding, right?”

“There’s two babies.” The doctor turned the screen all the way so you could take a better look. “Are you on clomid by any chance?”

“Clo—? What?” You put your hands over your cheeks in horror, almost. “I don’t even know what that is.”

“It’s a medicine,” Spencer gulped, scrunching up his nose. “Helps with infertility and can cause multiple pregnancies. No, she’s not on clomid.”

“Oh, no. No medicines. I’m HIV positive, that should be in my chart, so this wasn’t supposed to happen,” you told the doctor.

“It is on your chart. I was just asking. Do you get tested regularly?” the doctor asked Spencer.

“Yeah, every three weeks.”

“And the last time you got checked?”

“Two weeks ago, then again today.”

“Babies are about 8 weeks old so, you should be clean.”

Spencer got closer to you and pressed his lips together, trying to hold back some tears. 

“It’s still too soon to know the sex but we do know they’re about the size of cherries.” The doctor continued moving the transducer over your belly. “Would you like to hear the heartbeats?”

“Already?” Your eyes widened. “Oh, this is so much information. This is— this is a lot.”

Spencer reached for your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing your knuckles. “It’s okay.”

The doctor localized one baby first and soft little thuds started to fill the room. “There’s baby A’s heartbeat.”

Spencer never peeled his lips off your hand while staring at the screen. There were 110 heartbeats per minute on baby A.

“And there’s baby B’s heartbeat.”

106 heartbeats per minute.

Nothing he’d ever experienced compared to this feeling. Hearing heartbeats of two little people you and him had made from scratch and with so much love… He was about to burst out of his skin of pure bliss.

A soft sob came out of his chest. “Oh, wow.” He laughed through a sniffle. “I’m really crying.” 

You let go of his hand and cradled his face, brushing your thumb over his fresh tears. “We’re having two.” You laughed.

Spencer nodded, closing his eyes. “We’re having two.”

Hotch said the guilt of being away while you were at home, pregnant, wouldn’t go away with time, but advised Spencer that phone calls helped a bit. 

So ever since Spencer told the team he was going to be a dad, Hotch instructed Garcia to book Spencer a single room every time they had to spend the night in another city so he could be on the phone all night if he had to.

“How did you do it?” Spencer asked him on their way to the hotel.

“I didn’t.” Hotch raised his brows as he spoke. “I didn’t try harder. I didn’t… prioritize.” He gripped the wheel and gave Spencer a quick glance before focusing back on the road. “So I’m not the best example, Reid. You can take off all the time you need to be with your girls. You should.”

It wasn’t often that Reid thought he had something in common with Hotch. But right now he did, and even though Hotch beat himself up and didn’t think of himself as a good parent, Reid knew he was. He was an example and he was his go-to person to go for advice—along with JJ, of course.

Spencer made it to his room, and as soon as he was inside, he called you.

“How are your headaches?” He sat on the edge of the bed, toed off his shoes and fell back, staring at the ceiling.

“Not too bad today. I felt a little dizzy at lunch but Steve was here. And Inez is coming later. She insisted I need more foot massages.”

He missed you and somehow hearing you were with other people made him miss you even more. 

You, Charli and Marla. 

“How was your day? are you tired? you sound tired.”

“Not really, no,” he responded. “I just thought about you guys all day. I was distracted.” 

“Dr. Reid, that is very unlike you,” you teased him. “We’re okay. You don’t have to worry about us when you’re away.”

“I know but still. It’s hard not to. Especially now that you’re in your third trimester. You can barely move and with twins… it can be any minute now.”

“But this is your last case before your parental leave starts. I know the girls won't come out until you spend all day at home.”

“I know.”  Spencer sighed deeply. “Have they kicked today?”

“Charli. Like crazy. You know how she is.” You groaned. “Marla had the hiccups not long ago.”

“Is Charli kicking right now?”

“Mmhm.” You groaned again and heard you adjusting wherever you were laying down. Either the bed or couch. “Yep, oh, oh, keep talking. I think she stopped kicking.” 

Spencer had made it a habit reading you to bed, even before you were pregnant. That’s how you two discovered how Charli—the most restless—calmed down when she heard her dad’s voice.

Now, even on the phone, he kept reading you one of his favorite books as a kid—Alice in wonderland—or rather, recited it to you since he knew word-for-word.

He got ready for bed with you still on the other line, and once he was settled under the covers, he asked. “In which chapter were we?” 

He heard the rifling of pages on the other line. You had the book with you already. 

“Chapter seven: A mad tea-party.”

“From the beginning?” He cleared his throat.

“Yes, please.”

“Spence, do you have a sec?” JJ walked up to Spencer with a strange look. 

“Hey, yeah, is something wrong?” He immediately mirrored her expression. 

“I need to give you this before go on parental leave.” She handed him a worn envelope with your name handwritten on the outside. “It’s Curtis’ letter.” 

“When did you get it back?” He frowned.

“I got the call when we were landing and was on my desk when we arrived.”

“Just one?”

“It’s always been one.” The corner of her lips twitched into a small smile. “They thought they were different ones because of how many pages there were. But it’s just one. For her.”

“Thanks, JJ.”

“Now go take care of her.” She gave him a gentle squeeze on his shoulder.

“Wait, JJ. I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

“Spence—”

“She’s six months pregnant,” his tone rose. “With twins. And the letter might cause some stress. She could go into labor.”

“Don’t freak out. It will definitely make her feel stressed, but I know it will also heal her.” She played with her heart necklace. “I’d do anything to have a letter from my sister before she…”

Just at that moment he remembered. You and JJ had the same experience. A dead sibling by suicide.

“This is a blessing, so don’t hide this from her. Don’t… wait, okay?”

Spencer sat back at his desk and stared at the envelope. It was thick, as if Curtis had written an entire novel. There was a tiny heart next to your name, which could only mean there were good things inside. 

He rushed home and as soon as he got there, he was greeted by a sweet Hi, honey. You were knitting, a hobby you’d picked up since you started your maternity leave.

“Hi.” He walked to you and leaned to kiss you. “How’s the sweater going?”

“I’m almost done.” You showed him your progress. It was a tiny beige sweater. 

Spencer dragged the armchair next to you and sat down. 

“Something’s up with you.” You snickered. 

“I… have something for you.”

You put down your knitting and looked at him with gleaming eyes. “What is it?”

He was still scared but took out the letter from his messenger bag anyway. “This is your brother’s letter.”

He swore your soul left your body. 

You sat up right and blinked a few times. “What? Just one?”

“It’s always been one.”

You started laughing. A laugh that quickly turned into a soft cry.

“Okay.” You blew out a harsh breath and wiped some tears with the heel of your hands. “Since you mentioned he’d left letters I wondered if he’d left one for me I— I don’t know if I’m ready.” You placed your hand over your belly, blowing out another breath. You’d been getting out of breath so easily lately.

“You don’t have to read it right now.” He placed his hand over yours. “You can read it whenever you want. It’s yours.” 

He handed you the envelope.

“I—” you took a sharp breath and your mouth twitched as you tried to smile. “This is the closest thing I’ll ever have of him. The answer I needed from the moment he left me is there. I just… I need a moment. I need to miss him as the version of him before the letter I—” Tears sprang from your eyes and you hid your face on your palms. “Oh, god!”

Spencer was quick to hold you, like the very first time he saw you cry. This time it was different, though. Right now you were the love of his life, and he couldn’t help his tears. Your pain was flush against your skin all over again and it hurt him.

“I’ve always thought I’d healed, after all these years but… not knowing why he did what he did… left that wound open.”

“I know.” Spencer stroked your hair. 

“Would you… read it to me?”

“If that’s what you want, of course, sweetheart.”

You nodded, then a little sob filled your chest.

He made sure you were comfortable before reading it. He prepared you a cup of tea, got a box of tissues, placed your blanket over your lap, and sat next to you.

He gave you three soft pecks on your lips. “You ready?”

You snuggled up next to him, letting your head rest on his shoulder. “Ready.”

Spencer took a breath, cleared his voice, and opened the envelope, ready to help you heal.

“To whoever ends up reading this letter (because I know she won’t), I have a few things to say…”

THE END

Yayyyyyyyyyy

That's it!!! Thank you so much to every single person that took their time to leave a comment on this story. This was supposed to be a long one shot but I was so excited to share it that I had to split it and I'm glad I did. I still will post the fic as a big ass one shot in case anyone wants to read it or reread it in one go.

This may not be the most intricate and detailed story but made me very happy while I wrote it.

thank you again for reading!!!

much love.

PS: I have a spencer reid one shot in the works so this story is just the beginning of my Spencer girl era

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

what was the first/first few things you manifested and how?

Hello!

Things i manifested before loa and After loa:

Before loa (i just knew about subliminals and Law of attraction):

: ̗̀➛ Well the first thing i manifested was changing my eye color it went from Brown eyes to light Brown but you Can even See some green color In my eyes even my Friends started noticing them without even getting closer to my face and i Always get compliment from that even when my eyes is exposed in the Sun they be like "woah! I didn't know that your eyes were beautiful like that! They have a clear color!" And i manifested them with subliminal back when i discovered them.

: ̗̀➛ The second thing was This one you Can check it and read it.

After loa (Law of assumption):

: ̗̀➛ my thigh gap, girl i didn't even have a thigh gap and i manifested it and i do still have it. (With subliminal).

: ̗̀➛ food and drinks that i wanted.

: ̗̀➛ having the same grade i wanted in my report card (when i say i was shocked girl when the math teacher gave us our papers i got like 12/20 but when i checked my report card it was 15/20 i was so shocked and let me tell you that my math teacher never and when i mean never give extra credit or did a mistake so that was really surprising) and all i did is affirm and persist, (I was at that Time 14).

: ̗̀➛ micron ink Pen (girl that was my dreammm 😭 since i am an artist i wanted them so Bad and i manifested that my aunt will get them for me and she did but not just one but TWO!) here's proof:

: ̗̀➛ i manifested my lips just to be a little bit plumpier since my lips are thin and i just listened to a subliminal and affirmed for little and i got them.

: ̗̀➛ a phone for myself (girl i was so jealous that everybody in my age (i was 15 at that Time) was having a phone and i didn't even have one and plus i Always got Amazing grades so i was really tired of it and i manifested a phone but it wasn't the brand i wanted but anyways i got a phone at least ☺️).

: ̗̀➛ maintaining my weight ( i was working out and the problem is if i ate just a little i'll gain weight quickly so what i did? I just decided that no matter what i eat my weight will still the same and GIRL when i tell you i ate so many things like burgers, sandwiches, pizza, ice cream, and when i went to the fitness my coach told me to check my weight and it stayed the same!!).

: ̗̀➛ so this month i manifested my thigh to be thin, it was when i woke up to get ready to school so when i wore my jeans it seemed so tight i was like "omg don't tell me i gained weight 🥲" so i quickly started affirming "OMG look at my legs they are thin and skinny they look so perfect! I have such perfect thin thighs" and when i tell you the moment i started affirming i felt my jeans started loosing in! And i looked in the mirror and they seemed thin then a second Ago ! Hooray!.

: ̗̀➛ my favorite app to release New features that i wanted (if yall are wondering what the app is, it is character AI).

: ̗̀➛ shifting to random realities ( if you're interested in the story you Can check my masterlist).

: ̗̀➛ making some teachers being absent.

: ̗̀➛ money (you Can check it here).

: ̗̀➛ some Big amount of money appearing out of thin air in my mom's bank account.

: ̗̀➛ making my male classmate to smile at me (well that was last year and he was the hottest in our class and one night before sleeping i Always imagined him smiling at me and After 2-3 days he fucking smiled at me ! I just wanted him to just open up to me since he's shy, i really wanted him to be my friend 😭).

: ̗̀➛ i manifested a change in my classes memory and even the teacher (so the french teacher told us to do a writting expression about a topic as a homework and we'll read it in front of the class and when the Times came everyone Read their writting expression but i didn't sense i was shy and didn't have the courage to do it so i started imagining myself do it, then the semester came to an end and my mom decided to see the french teacher, when she talked to mom she said "oh yeah your daughter read her writting expression and it was so good and everyone clapped their hands for her" when mom told me what the teacher told her I was shocked i couldn't believe what i just Heard but anyways at least i changed her memory😏✌🏻).

So yeah that was it, i actually manifested so many things but i can't really remember them, i Hope this motivated you (⁠｡⁠･⁠ω⁠･⁠｡⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠♡.

Love ya! 💗.

Xoxo, Eli

[mothinabottle]

Robin who obsessed over some rpg game at some point. Placed the sign in their room that they were sleeping, yet they were actually grinding that game 24/7. Next day they lied to you saying that the bags under their eyes were because they just couldn't sleep well.

Tried really hard to be first place in the leaderboard. Always got 2nd place because of some random who always seemed to be active in the game.

Who can even win against them, when they have poured all of their effort and time on being the best? Kylar, that's who.

But they don't know that yet...

Still butthurt about never being able to be the first place even after several months. You caught them pouting once when they saw an advertisement of that game.

Neutral Sydney, who fell into the fanfiction rabbit hole after getting too close to you and being just a tad curious. Went to Ao3 to read some fluff, ended reading the most depraved works in the site and discovered at least 10 kinks they had. (Definitely tries to recreate some with you when corrupted. Sulks when they realize some aren't humanly possible)

Found Jordan's works. Is a big fan of them (But they don't know the person they admire through the screen is the same they admire in real life lol)

They had a period of time where they spend all their night time reading every fic possible. Ended up constantly fainting from sleep-deprivation, but told you it was because they were studying all night...

Yeah, right. As if you totally didn't caught them squealing or blushing while looking at their phone (Also they are the worst at trying to cover suspicious behaviour. It's way too obvious they are trying to hide something in their phone. And they once fell asleep with the phone on and the tab open lol)

Mickey, who once downloaded a pirated game that got a virus into their pc. They were really young at that time, ok?

Embarrassingly repeated the process thrice before deciding to learn how to properly pirate and hack. Found out it was useful to be tech savvy and that they actually liked it.

-"What even got you into this tech world anyway?" you asked one day

They changed the subject

[crescentpaws]

now on the more chaotic side….

- fintan figured out how to make a clone of himself.

- they fought a magic duel and he LOST

- was getting annoyed at the clone tbh so i made fintan set him on fire repeatedly but that guy would Not die

(ft vespera just watching…..)

- umm i read that you have to order the clone to do something in order for it to despawn or whatever but by that point the clone was evil apparently so fintan wasn’t able to give it orders anymore???

so now he’s just listed as fintan’s brother?? help???? his name is Nelson. i will find a way to kill him one day i promise you that. fucking nelson pyren. fucker.

this is a cool picture tho. with the fire & the phoenix & everything.

- next are all my horrible attempts at trying to make fintante happen:

- my first plan of course was to use the infatuate spell. unfortunately i chose gisela for this mission and she is not very high leveled when it comes to magic so the spell backfired. and fintan ended up kissing her instead 💀 obviously i started freaking out and started spamming negative interactions to get the romance bar back down which led to them getting in a fist fight (which fintan won) but even though the bar is red now she’s still listed in the romance category for him 💀 going to just. ignore that.

- my second plan was to take what just happened and apply it to fintan instead (make HIM use the spell and then hope it backfires) but unfortunately he is a master rank spellcaster so his spells rarely fail… i got him up to a dangerously high level of spellcaster charge before trying the spell in hopes that it would fail but he’s too good….

- i ended up applying some curses to him as well to increase the chances of the spell backfiring but it only ended up making things worse for him 💀 accidentally gave him another curse which made this creepy asshole follow him around all night and prevented him from sleeping

- in another attempt he just straight up fucking died.

first grim reaper appearance haha… (his familiar actually ended up reviving him though… but it didn’t matter because i was just resetting from the same save point anyway.)

- at some point throughout all this fintan gained the fear of… swimming?? which is very random considering he has a pool in his yard that he’s swam in multiple times before… but ok

- the spell actually DID end up backfiring correctly but even when they kissed the romance bar never showed up 💀 which pissed me off because it showed up with gisela… homophobic ass spell

- ended up giving up on the spells and tried giving romantic gifts… which SEEMED to go well but it did not actually improve their relationship at all…

only game where your characters can be sworn enemies and still say shit like this about each other (the romance bar did not go up even a BIT. so this is really funny.)

- tried the potion of forced friendship next because i was curious to see what it would do… i thought it’d just make the interactions go smoother but apparently it puts the friendship bar up to max 💀 so. that part was solved i guess?? they’re no longer enemies at least…

- but of course them being them they somehow managed to get the bar back down to zero 💀 they basically had to start their relationship over from scratch…

- finally got them to kiss though (for real) so idgaf

- fintan loooves to randomly insult him though. so. idk how long this will last. the sentiments are already very conflicting

(funniest photo)

[gren-arlio]

So. Let me tell y'all about a guy named Camus. And a girl named Lala. And other folk. Welcome to Episode 14 of Waku Puyo Extras.

(Ah, back at it again writing these things.)

Hey guys, Gren here, and welcome to Episode 14 of Waku Puyo Extras, a series where I cover basically random stuff about Puyo and Madou as a whole. The Waku part is just because my brand is a single game I translate.

As my free time gets smaller and smaller, the drive to show off cool stuff remains about the same. Thank goodness school is over soon. I'm still alive, don't worry.

Finals and AP Exams are very much happening, so I'm spending that time studying. I'm hoping I pass.

Now, you would expect me to write about PPPP (P⁴ as I call it, Puzzle Pop in other locations) since it released and has a ton of stuff, notably well written characters. But alas:

I'm an Android user. Can't play it.

Frankly, at the moment, I'm not too interested in it right now.

So, the last episode was about Draco, that famous lass. What about this time? Well, since 80% of my work here is Madou related, why not give a showcase of some of the lesser known characters as a whole? Manga and novel stuff included.

With that, hope you enjoy. Also I said a bigger post is coming soon and drop it a literal month later. Damn.

So, Who ARE These Guys?

If you're not familiar with these characters, I honestly don't blame you. These guys are considered kinda niche in the franchise, but are more well known than some guys. I could mention Hanzo and no one besides people who played the game he's from or read the wiki would know him. Oh, or maybe Skeleton-D if we wanted to.

For now, I'll just cover the people have at the very least some stuff about them.

We'll begin with Camus, easily the most recognizable one that we'll be covering today. I swear if he was in Puyo now, he'd be so damn popular.

(From the manual of the Mega Drive release of Madou 1. Notable for being one of the very few times Camus is drawn with the teenage Arle and Lala, both 16, making Camus 18 in this.)

The man, or rather boy, in that photo is the fabled Camus of the Sable Ord- I mean Madou Monogatari 1, both on the SEGA Mega Drive and Game Gear. Since this is a game where Arle is in kindergarten, Camus is her senior. Yeah, senior is the word for this one. He's notable for being the only person to get a perfect score on his exams, that lucky bastard.

Oh yeah he's also like 8 years old for the record in that

In the game, he's both helps you and hinders you for different reasons. Sometimes he's very nice and teaches you things, and other times he's taking stuff from you for playing the game for longer than three hours.

However, at the end of the game (Where he also might help you depending on some stuff), it turns out he was an illusion all along, which is always...fun, you know? That one guy who's been helping you out turns out to not even be real, least in the Game Gear version of things.

Honestly? He's a pretty interesting guy in the game. Arle holds him with some respect, and Lala quite literally has a massive crush on the guy that she's willing to show. Unfortunately.

(Things are really serious in the Kindergarten Exam Fandom...)

He can come off as rude but at the very least he means well. And my goodness, his theme in the game is good.

Underrated gem.

Now, up until a while ago, I kinda thought that'd be the only games he was in, a grand total of 2 whole games. However, by doing this for...a year now, turns out that there IS one more appearance of Camus, presumably to be 18 in the game because...Well, Arle is a teenager there.

Arle Man'Yuki. Or Arle's Travel Log.

Now if I'll be honest, I STILL dunno all too much about the game, despite doing an entire episode on it. The game is super text-heavy, so I don't know EVERYTHING besides some of the Japanese history involved with it. (Crazy how the Heian Era is now some JJK meme. Time is a fun concept.)

Here, Camus has taken the role of the leader of the Shinsengumi, Kondo Isami. It's a long story, so... I'll just link my own work here. (I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO PUT LINKS IN MY TEXT...)

I never covered Camus extensively in that game due to his admittedly small role in that game, but he's a fairly upstanding guy. Schezo works under him as the vice leader. Ain't that cool?

Check it out if you're curious about that, some basic Japanese history that may be a tad inaccurate, or JUMP HERO.

And err...that's every game he's from. Yeah, he's in a grand total of what, three games? It's not much but it's still something. He's a very cool lad.

-----

Wait, who's Lala?

I'm glad you asked, me. Lalah is a character from Mobile Suit Gundam that works with Char after he...well, this is a Madou blog. If only I could talk to you about Gundam. But alas.

Lala is ACTUALLY a girl who's the same age as Arle, and the girl who's madly in love with Camus...as I've told before. But she does have a little more than just that, don't worry.

In the Game Gear version at least, she sneaks into the tower Arle went into to graduate, upset that she wasn't the one to take the exam, but rather Arle. And yes. She broke a brick wall to get to her.

(A 6 year old is stronger than any of us. LMK if you can run into a brick wall just fine.)

Now if I had to describe her, it'd be "Arrogant but funny as hell". Because she's arrogant but funny as hell. Arle calls Lala her BFF, to which she doesn't take that reply nicely and says they ain't BFF'S, they ain't even friends. Straight hater energy. (She wasn't able to take the exam due to a cold.)

Camus appears to stop her from interfering, and she goes on this tangent about how wonderful he is, and how he always eluded her... and chases him, as shown more above.

Things start to get funky when you get deeper into the tower, as Lala makes a literal trap hole, and Arle falls down. However, Lala is mad that she fell and NOT Camus, leading him to appear in the floor above and basically say "Idiot. I'm not falling for that." and she continues to chase him.

Her reign of terror ends when Camus SEALS HER AWAY for the rest of the game. But she's okay after it all don't worry. Arle summed it up the best way I could. She ends up fine after the end of the game, however.

Lala also appears in Chaotic Final Exam too, now 16, but honestly...it's one of the games where I know next to nothing about it. Apologies. Just know that she's there and not Camus. (Though with the style of how the game looks...probably for the better.)

She's just overall what we call in the industry... a girlfail. She tries her absolute best but fails so, so much that I can't help but laugh at her and pity her at the same time.

-----

I have no cool segway into this section. Introducing... Rasp.

You might've seen them around if you've checked my blog here or there as a front page image for my works.

And you'd be right. Rasp is from the Waku Waku Puyo Puyo Manga, a brand new character just made for the thing. They're basically a minion who mostly impede the way for Schezo and Rulue. I say "they" because, well, Rasp is genderless.

Fun fact: Their salary is unknown, but they apparently get paid more than a Manga artist, so take that as how you will.

Rasp does appear frequently throughout the volumes, and does indeed fight Schezo. While he does lose, at least looked pretty cool while doing so.

-----

Lightning Round:

Now these devilish goofballs are folks I want to show...but don't have much info on them just yet. Or there wasn't that much to begin with.

Septem:

(Creatura...La creature 98...)

Septem is another genderless character from the series, coming from Arle no Bouken, a game I know next to nothing about. All I know from it is them and that they cling to Arle like a sister. I love them.

This is absolutely one character I wish I knew more on, since she's much more developed as a character...I just don't know much about Arle no Bouken.

Dark Witch:

(What is this, a doppelganger bargain sale?)

Now she has a little more to her that I DO know but it's nothing spectacular.

Planned to be in Puyo N but was scrapped due to the idea of her being too serious, which is quite the reason for Puyo, but appears in Comet Summoner anyways as a final boss.

You can even play as her, and fight Witch herself and beat her... and possessing her. Kinda, sorta.

Runelord:

(Dweeb appeared in one game and changed a man)

Runelord is an odd case, because some of his lore is stuck onto True Madou Monogatari, which in of itself...is kinda iffy lore wise. And also really long.

In Madou S? Wants Schezo to be the next successor, he says no, fight happens, Schezo wins but is affected anyways. Apparently he was beaten by Lagnus, but that comes from True Madou, so the accuracy of the Canon can be very much debated. It all depends if you think it's Canon or not.

-----

And honestly, that'll be all for this time around. Apologies this took so long. Life's been quite the journey. Graduation's happening soon, and finals are happening soon. The list goes on. I'm hoping I get by through the school year, but alas, I'm happy you read this.

Adios.

[flyingbroommate]

Time to post my dunmeshi OC!! His name is Gnicholas Howz

Gnicholas 'Gnic' Howz

Gnome

75yrs

140cm

Healer and reviver

Has 2 younger brothers and his grandparents

Story

In his hometown he set out to the dungeon to make money for his family

Started out being hired by small parties to revive/heal them

Some parties took his magic for granted and they could keep going forever with his healing, Gnic didn't like this

Gnic made a once off comment that he should be charging for how often he has to revive his teammates, this escalated into some rumours

Most new parties end up avoiding him

Rumours went around that he was a money hungry gnome that charges his parties for every time they die, making him less popular

He ended up moving to Merini Village, even cutting and dying his hair black to throw off anyone that might recognise him

To avoid a repeat of what happened before he decided to rather roam the upper levels by himself and revive or heal parties that need it, for a price

While he does ask for payment he never tries to upsell his services, usually just taking what is first offered, even if it's a few coins or some food

"It's not much but it's honest work"

Life on the Surface

He stays in an inn belonging to a close friend, the reason why he can still find a place to stay for relatively cheap

Runs errands for the friend as a way to pay them back

They're engaged, not many people know

Inbetween dungeon dives he takes care of plants, some he found in the dungeon

Still tries to keep a low profile

Sends most of what he earns back home to his family along with herbs he grows for his grandfather

Random Facts

Slight farsightedness

Owns glasses but never wears them in the dungeon, says he doesn't need them

Has punched a corpse retriever before (thinks they're too greedy/underhanded)

Studied botany before magic

His staff is really heavy

Has been told that elves are selfish and only do what benefits them

His hometown had a mix of dwarves and gnomes

Can read dwarvish, but not a very good speaker

[the-sinful-voice-witch]

The Bi Tim Drake and Stephanie Brown, is time I let them go...

I'm deeply sorry fellow Timstephers... I wanted to be loyal🥲, I really did but in the end... I think Steph deserves better😢 so I must embrace my other options for her because DC actually never let them fully click, at least on Tim's side and honestly this hurts, because despite everything I actually wanted them to work but now I have to accept that maybe the writers just did too much damage 🥺😞, let's start for the beginning👇👇:

I wish her identity was kept secret longer, it would have been more romantic if Tim fell for her not knowing her face and frankly the love triangle/cheating thing with Ariana (his first girlfriend) was so messed up and exhausting to read... I didn't like their first kiss was cheating! 😞 and when they finally got together they had again the stupid problem about Robin's secret identity, (I think somewhere in between there was an issue with another blonde girl, named Greta who tried to hurt Steph and I hated Tim's way of acting 😑 she even kissed him and he didn't react badly despite being with Steph 😠 in fact he smiled and said "chicks dig the cape") then Batman tells her Tim's identity, Tim gets mad then they make up, then she thinks he is cheating on her because a random girl classmate kisses him out of the blue and becomes Robin when he retired, then she dies and... He gave us a dry, tearless and unsatisfying reaction 😒, then not even a year passed (in the comics) he quickly starts having new suitors (writers can't just let him being single), like some girl named Darla, Cassie (another blonde with who he has a double rebound relationship after Superboy's death and Tim expressed a lot of more grief about Superboy, his best friend than the one who was his girlfriend, Stephanie was barely mentioned because they wanted you to forget about her) and then when he had again another civil background character girlfriend named Zoanne BOOM Stephanie comes back to the land of the living... and again... Cheating kiss! 🙄🤦‍♀️🤬 why? Just why? And of course the relationship with the boring civil girl doesn't last but he doesn't get back to Stephanie until he finished his dark emo phase in which he had a relationship with Tam Fox who dumped him because she only liked his Red Robin persona and also has a horny moment with another girl named Lynx while still being attracted to Steph 🙃🙃 What kind of ladies man is this guy?😂 (he also had a thing with jubilee from Marvel in a crossover and... Fucking marries BARBARA GORDON💀💀 in one of Batman's video games, I can't fucking believe there's an universe where Barbara gets to marry Tim but not Steph? Batman beyond doesn't count because is not confirmed the background wife is her and very spiteful I have to mention when Barbara's "death" Happened again he expresses more grief and gives more reaction than when Steph "died" But seriously WTH? In that game Dick is there too why is Tim the one romancing Babs when she is supposed to be even older than the oldest Robin? 💀💀) and finally after Stephanie wins some random tournament they get together again and almost bang but they couldn't because they were all banged up from the fight and I think that was all until the new 52 reboot...

So in the reboot they changed their origins and they met in Harper Row's house, they looked at each other Harper teased him and... They got together out of camera 😑😑 (I hate it when they do that, you skip all the development!) and they gave us this beautiful scene in young Justice

These beautiful moments that we will never get back... I can't believe after this passionate confession of love and everything that happens in these Issues (though to be honest this moment doesn't have as much weight as it would have in the pre reboot because here we didn't see the process of them falling in love) they just separated them like nothing out of the blue in such a tacky VERY tacky and lazy way 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ but before that... Let's talk about the toxic side of their relationship pre new 52 reboot:

Stephanie once told Tim that he was too good for her in anycase when he was having insecurities about her feelings, he once asked her if she would like him even if he wasn't Robin, he was always insecure about their relationship (even thought she wanted him so hard and was so eager and straightfoward on him since he kissed her for the first time) and honestly giving how he treated her... I see so many inconsistencies 😑 or hypocrisy, I always hated how he always put her down and discouraged her from the vigilante life making her feeling she wasn't worthy or good enough (of course under the excuse of good intentions because that life is too dangerous... When he had a normal family and a good life unlike his orphan predecessors and Steph who had a shitty life with a criminal parent and drug addict mother and still demanded to be Robin because that was his dream... And then DC made him conveniently an orphan too to make things easier at the same time they tried to get rid of his girlfriend 🤦‍♀️) when he always felt exactly that way and Batman and other characters had to cheer him up constantly so where did the empathy go? No, seriously🙁 how is it that he is the one comforting her when is Batman the one making her feel that way? What about the times is HE is the one who does it? Feels so hypocritical, he held her back on her potential, I remember reading an issue when he arrogantly said that be a part of the teen Titans is out of her league when she was offered to join and had the entitlement to affirm that she can't speak for herself (and honestly I only saw him be against that because later in young Justice Cassie thought she was joining and was appraised by other members while training, they didn't look down on her but no, she was there only as moral support for Tim) and tried to shut her out a lot of times even in front other characters like Black Canary and Green Arrow's son and in his red Robin period when Bruce was believed death also treated her so bad and demanded her to never be spoiler again, the arrogant prick! I know he was very hurt and sad and what Steph did under Batman's orders was messed up but still to arrogantly demand that? Batman didn't have any right and sure as hell Tim has even less right to take away the Spoiler because is something SHE CREATED without their influence! So dude THE AUDACITY! And again how he called her useless and told her if she was playing dress up when she became Batgirl 🤦‍♀️ yes I know he later apologizes after acknowledging how much better she got at fighting but still... I don't know, all felt shallow. I never liked that she chose to become Robin after she thought he was cheating on her, I saw it as a jerk move but... I can't really blame her for feeling insecure and believe it, after all she became his girlfriend after Tim cheated with her on his first girlfriend and never saw Steph as an equal on that time so... Well I guess all this mess is what helps me to move on them 🤷‍♀️ and now let's talk about the bi disaster... and unfortunately not the good kind:

DC come here, sit with me, we need to talk... Did you hire some kind of... Wattpad fanfic writer by any chance? Because the quality of this pride special... Feels like something you could perfectly find on the lamest part of wattpad 🤦‍♀️, tacky and lazy doesn't even cover up this... and I'm so offended such writing got that amazingly good art 😤😤. So, in the process of making Tim bisexual they had to... Break up his relationship with his girlfriend when they were finally good together without drama after everything they went through for literally NO REASON (seriously there is a real literal dialogue of him explaining to some dude he broke up with his girlfriend someone he LOVES for no reason 🙃🙃) so he could have a relationship with a dude so that he could have a solid proof that he digs in both ways 🙄... This is insulting because in the pre reboot they had a lot of understandable reasons to break up but after the reboot they had a really good relationship of course I didn't like this time they started their relationship out of camera but they still gave us development and a confession I would have loved them to have in the pre reboot but then this shit happened just like that! 🙄🤷‍♀️ So much for be madly in love uh?

You can't just turn that off and then turn it on again on another random person like a switch 🤦‍♀️! Isn't kind of hilarious, people wanted him bi so he could be with Superboy but DC decided to give him instead a background NPC boyfriend created 20 fucking years ago nobody even remembered, yeah sure the guy is not unpleasant but he is so painfully irrelevant just like Ariana or Zoanne (the normal civil ex-girlfriends) but I dare to say at least Ariana provided some "entertaining" drama, exhausting to read nonetheless but still... this random guy was chosen over Superboy Conner Kent! That is literally the only character that could rivalize with Stephanie in story with Tim but noooo Superboy couldn't be Bisexual too... Oh no wait, wait a second... Didn't DC actually made a bi Superboy? Oh dear, let me get this straight (je je "straight", no pun intended 🤪) people wanted Robin Tim bi because they shipped him with Superboy Conner but the ship couldn't be because they couldn't make that Superboy bi but instead they made Bi the other Superboy Jon Kent that shouldn't be in any serious relationship in the first place because he should still be a little kid but they aged him up 🤬🤬 and paired him with another painfully boring boyfriend they think is interesting because is Lois Lane's numer 1 fan🙄🙄 and studies to be a journalist too🙄🙄 because Superman's son had to be in love with a journalist just like him🙄🙄... And he is intangible because we can't have Jon having to worry about his boyfriend being in danger and on top of that has an ugly design, sorry for those who like it but I hate his design... most of the time his hair looks like mushroom style and thick hipster glasses are just not for everyone, Barbara Gordon can pull it this guy can't, I once saw an illustration of him that looked like a pink haired with glasses angry Karen and I just can't unsee it... Seriously he needs another haircut at the very least... Ok back to the Bi Robin...

Ok so it could not be Conner it had to be a civilian, the thing is there was another character they could have used: Cullen Row! The very first appearance he made he stated to be gay and being very interested of in Tim and at the very least he has the minimum importance of being the brother of a known vigilante character, Harper Row. And Cullen and Harper are friends with Steph so I'm sure Cullen would have scolded Tim for how he treated her and pretty sure he would have threatened him to tell his sister to taser his ass if he doesn't make things right with Steph, she didn't deserve to be ghosted! To be treated coldly out of the blue without giving her a reason! Or for a good reason at all. The point is that this was an established gay character interested in Tim and knows the vigilante life, that already make things easier and also is a good excuse to see Harper Row more often even if she gave up vigilante life, it would be nice to see her again but NOOOOO we pull a forgotten character out of nowhere and without development 🙄😑, they shouldn't have slapped us with all this at once in just one pride special, they should have left hints or showing us something in the regular issues, I don't like things happening just because, ok? representation matters but that doesn't mean we have to accept lazy tacky wattpad shit, that's called pandering! why couldn't they take their time to built properly the relationship just like they did with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn? Like I could see the process of Harley and Ivy liking each other, we also saw the process of Steph and Tim liking each other but they never showed us why Tim and Bernard like each other, what does Bernard has that he destroyed Tim's madly love for Steph so easily? Why does it feel that they weren't on the mood to work on the relationship and simply put a text saying "they've been talking to each other again after Tim and Steph broke up" And boom! They are on a date and the whole story turns into a story about Tim's sexuality 🤦‍♀️🤡, that's right his new boyfriend is a character that is nothing more than a walking proof of his bisexuality, literally that is his one and only purpose of existence and Tim went from being: "the Third Robin" "The smartest Robin" "The true perfect Robin" "The best detective that could best Batman" To literally being known as "THE BI ROBIN"🤡🤡, now the only thing that matters about him is that he was dating a girl and now he is dating a boy... (And same with Jon Kent, he is now just the Bi or Gay Superman, ajjj just make him go back to be 10 years old DC, he was more interesting as a kid with Damian) This is just how badly DC handled this in my opinion because I don't remember Batwoman to be known as the Batlesbian and Harley and Ivy are simply Harley and Ivy they aren't the Bisexual Gotham sirens and we all know Constantine is a manwhore who even banged a embodiment of a whole City but people doesn't only know him because of his sexual orientation, these characters just happened to have this sexual orientations but who they fuck isn't what makes them good characters.

And to make things worse and cringe, because yes this can get worse, on top of making Tim treat Stephanie so badly just because, they denigrated her by not allowing her to feel like a normal human being with feelings who was dumped for no reason, ghosted without a reason and easily forgotten by someone she considered her first true love would feel, you know... Sad, dejected, hurt, angry... Nope. Some idiot thought that she could only do that if she was replaced by other girl but if she is replaced by a boy she has to be nothing but a cringy supportive fangirl ex- girlfriend 🤡🤦‍♀️, that's right Tim decided that the most "sensitive and thoughtful" thing to do with the person he dumped out of the blue for nothing, and ghosted for nothing and tried to ignore her and avoid in her face when she finally confronted him until his friends forced him to behave like a minimum decent person and TALK to her was... Introduce her to his new boyfriend WITHOUT ASKING HER OR EVEN WARNING HER 🤬🤬🤬

and the result was the absolutely cringy shitty wattpad reaction of her hugging Bernard saying "i finally get to meet you, this is the best day ever"💀💀💀💀 excuse me? The best day ever for her is the day she meets her ex's new boyfriend? After everything Tim put her through? Can someone explain to me the need of this? The need to denigrate and ridiculize Stephanie Brown? Hasn't this character suffered enough humiliation?😡😡You know Tim? Superboy at least told Cassie that she deserved a better first love than him and you see I think he never was as bad as you were to Stephanie... 😒😒 in fact I can't simply not understand the incoherence of their conversation... He literally told her: "my feelings for you, I never lied about that you were always what I wanted and more" "It wasn't about your gender, I don't like only girls" (Then he introduces her his brand new boyfriend 🤪) You were madly in love with her, she was what you wanted and more... THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DUMP HER?? THERE'S NO ACCEPTABLE EXPLANATION OF THAT!!! They just said he was on a journey to discover himself phase or some shit bad executioned idea but dude even if discovering you are Bi was part of it that doesn't mean you had to end your relationship... 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️, he later tells to Connor Hawke who is also struggling because he doesn't know how to tell Green Arrow that he is not interested in banging anyone ever (he came out as asexual) that Stephanie was a reminder of his old self that he wanted to let go, suuuuure nice try to make up for a good excuse to be an asshole with her🙄😒.

You know what's funny? I think Steph is bisexual too and I'm not saying this because of her relationship with Cassandra, I'm saying this because when she was taking with Harper Row about Catwoman she was thirsting over Selina's buttonless shirt and later when she was dating Tim she met Zatanna and the first thing she said was "wow you're hot" 😂😂😂 and THAT, simply as it is... Is literally the only proof I need of her being bi, I didn't need her to break up with her boyfriend to be with Cass or Harper (hey, they kissed in that failed show Gotham knights) to believe it, you just need to show interest in both genders 🤷‍♀️, use flirt, use blushing, use a comment mentioning it... You don't need to destroy a relationship!! 🙄🙄🙄 but what is done is done, I'm so tired of Timsteph, I give up I'm sorry fellow shippers I really I'm but this treatment to Stephanie's character is my limit. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH 🥲🥲

And I apologize for this long long long rant but I needed it to get out of my system 🥲🥲 well, like I said Tim was to stay with his walking Bisexuality proof NCP boyfriend PERFECT, but I need a compensation and I don't want Steph to have nothing to do with that Kyle Mizoguchi, he is as irrelevant and boring to me as Bernard and Jay 🥱🥱🥱 I want a proper compensation so I want Steph and Jason Todd to have a slow cooked Romance. Yep you heard me, I demand JAYSTEPH as a compensation for all this mess!!

And of course I plan to make a thoroughly long post like this about why I want Jaysteph to have a chance and with nothing more to say, Bye bye and thanks for reading my post 😘😘😘

[a-ramblinrose]

JOMP BPC || January 2 || TBR This Month:  Most of January's must read books are already started and destined for tomorrow's prompt. A few photogenic tales still await me though.

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

[echotunes]

VERY much recommend cellbit's immortality VOD btw I am HOOKED. fascinating game. and also it's a funny playthrough. highlight so far has been him getting so exasperated at the constant talk about boobs that he had to go get a glass of wine

[randomwriteronline]

What's an identity but a lie?

(points at Velika) I've had enough of this dude

[beautifel]

seems like my heart does nothing but break lately

[boxchewr]

im not really a homestuck fan anymore nor do i ever have the patience or time to reread it properly but. i will still fight tooth and nail for the fact that there's still a lot of value to that comic

[killforyou-a]

⋅ 𓂂 ˚╱ 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦𝘥    𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮    𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦   .

inclination   to   execute   directives   given   by   beaut   installed   into   minuscule   section   of   cerebrum   since   initial   encounter   ,   one   eager   to   placate   insatiable   nature   of   overindulged   coquette   that   plagues   fantasies   come   nightfall   .   scintillating   radiance   that   peeks   through   crevices   of   metallic   bleachers   illuminates   concealed   area   and   casts   an   ethereal   glow   upon   other   that   has   scene   playing   out   resembling   some   religious   experience   only   depicted   in   the   most   sacred   of   text   .   absence   of   peers   has   one   manuvering   with   more   valor   ,   palms   momentarily   adorning   lover's   esophagus   as   osculation   deepens   ,   tongue   exploring   expanse   shrouded   by   plump   cerise   petals   and   swallowing   down   candied   gasps   before   digits   travel   lower   to   play   with   hem   of   cheer   uniform   .   lips   departing   soley   to   allow   garments   to   be   discarded   onto   verdant   field   to   form   makeshift   cushion   for   carnal   endeavors   .   believes   she   has   traced   every   inch   of   lithe   physique   enough   times   to   sketch   it   from   memory   if   requested   ,   proudly   outlining   each   curve   and   ridge   that   adorns   other   without   a   moment   of   hesitation   .   doublet   attatched   at   the   hip   almost   instantaneously   ,   one   consistently   following   other   around   like   a   miniature   lap   dog   in   order   to   appease   need   to   be   within   proximity   to   dispel   bouts   of   lunacy   .   palms   that   squeeze   and   caress   soma   leave   behind   prints   that   torch   perspiring   skin   ,   gesticulation   from   deities   above   that   accentuates   the   objection   of   such   mélange   of   holiness   and   unsanctification   .   it   is   almost   beyond   belief   to   be   present   to   witness   beauteous   symphony   dyad   play   for   only   each   other   ,   delicate   whines   that   permeate   aura   that   encompass   them   until   very   end   leaving   two   among   array   of   limbs   and   soft   inhalations   .      “   i   think   i   might   love   you   .   ”      statement   slips   out   unexpectedly   against   plush   thigh   ,   heart   hammering   against   ribcage   once   cerebrum   catches   up   with   situation   at   hand   ,   every   fiber   of   being   praying   that   femme   hadn't   heard   .       ╱       @lovearoma​

[kaluawoo]

Well this was a dream I hope to not have again.

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

reading dungeon meshi