#and strong and physically on another level

[like-rain-or-confetti]

The Retrieval (Demetri Volturi)

WARNING: THIS IS DARK. TWs DO APPLY. CHILDEATH. MISCARRIAGE. STILLBORN DEATH. KIDNAPPING. HOSTAGE SITUATION. FORCED PREGNANCY SITUATIONS.

Aro's desire to be all knowing and powerful held no bounds. It had been two hundred years since the Volturi's discovery of Renesmee. Two hundred years since the obsession of hybrids began. He was trying to collect as much knowledge as possible.

Here and there, someone who seemed fertile and able to carry was taken from the tours to be held in the dungeons. Then they were the guards' choices. Though Aro was encouraging of this, he had conditions. The first being don't damage the human carriers. The second being done cause any distress or harm that will disruption the carriers ability to carry to term. The third, charm the carrier. The less trauma, the better.

Lastly, one at a time. Meaning if one guard was to change carriers. It was all to be kept track of so they knew which the offspring belonged to. It'd make any decent person squirm. Even the guards themselves if they weren’t too desensitised to humans. Impregnating the food was never an idea any species enjoyed after all.

Demetri was the best at it due to his escapades whilst others were less practiced and often caused harm or even death. He made it easier for the current times whilst the Volturi looked into other methods. Demetri didn't think of them as carriers. Rather, he considered them as forgettable flings. Demetri had the record for offspring. His recorded number of offspring being twenty-eight. Although making the hybrids was the easy part. Raising them was the difficult part. Not because of the tantrums or need for constant attention. It took a toll. Demetri, by nature, developed an attachment to his offspring each time and when tragedy struck, he felt the loss.

Majority of his children lost the genetic lottery. Their lifespans were affected and immortality wasn't guaranteed. The shortest being ten years. That child had been one of the earlier offspring to date. He stopped growing at the physicality of fourteen but one day Demetri noticed his heart didn't beat the same as it did before. One by one Demetri endured his sons organs packing in. By the time the boy passed, they tried to actually find what had happened to him. He was one of the phew where they did some level of autopsy. Bizarrely the boys organs had aged faster than his very appearance. A teenager with the organs of a well lived elder. Some got human lifespans which hurt just the same when they were gone. Then there were those who had to be eliminated. Those who were a huge liability. None of them were very easy to endure. Although a particular pattern emerged. Girls were a rarity and none had survived for various reasons, some unexplainable. It had the Volturi wondering if it was something in Demetri's bloodline yet he couldn't remember to really confirm or deny anything.

As time went on, he tried not to become attached to his children at all. Expecting to lose each one of them, which he did until luck was on his side. Ares, Sebastian And Helios showed promise when they were born. Several decades apart yet they were healthy and going strong.

Ares, the eldest living child, was twenty years old but physically looked fourteen. He had stopped growing for a few years but seemed to be starting to grow again. Demetri regularly listened to his heart and monitored him to ensure he was alright. He was considered the big brother that the other children were to follow. The second in command under Demetri himself. The children almost had a hierarchy on Demetri's perceived value of them.

Sebastian was twelve years old but was mentally around ten. He was the mediator and more eager to learn. His admiration for his father only another peg in his father's favour. Demetri wasn't as concerned about Sebastian's wellbeing as he was Ares, only because Demetri felt he had some time yet. Though there was no doubt by the time he was twenty or if something had changed in his health that Demetri would be monitoring him too.

Helios was the youngest. He looked and acted like it too. The rare occurrence that development and mental age matched. However he had inherited much more vampire traits than his living brothers. It concerned him, Helios just barely getting out of trouble. Had Helios had no respect for the laws and secrecy of vampire kind, he'd have met his fate much sooner. He was quite the hotheaded trouble maker, often getting disciplined by Demetri. His behaviour was a consistent and constant problem for his violent tendencies, anger issues and hyperactivity that made him aggressive.

All three boys had shown high probability of an immortals life span. Those were the children who he was willing to give most of his time.

Demetri was alerted of the fatality of a carrier and offspring. As he always did, he went to see the child. Another girl. He was saddened by what could have been as he was for every child but the loss didn't surprise him anymore. As he delicately stroked the baby's head, a guard spoke up. “Do you know what happened to the carrier called Angela?” He paused. “No. This carrier is named Lily.” Demetri said. The guard paused. “Angela is left blank. We don't have an Angela and…it's dated seven years ago.” That made Demetri stop altogether, still cradling the baby. “One of mine?” He asked. “Yes, there was two that year. One didn't make it, one was-” “The year one was eliminated?” Demetri asked and the guard nodded. “There's one unaccounted for.” The guard frowned. Demetri thought for a moment. “Leave it with me. Let me send off this little one first.” When the guard left Demetri looked down and kissed the baby's head. “I'm sorry, sweetheart.”

That night, Demetri sat in his armchair thinking about the unaccounted for carrier. He remembered the third but he couldn't remember what had happened to them or the offspring. He had checked the record. The name was there and that the carrier was due. He was certain that the situation with the eliminated offspring had showed the memory of the second carrier. Yet he couldn't remember anything about the carrier after that day.

A thought occurred to him. A thought that made him stiffen in his armchair. If this ‘Angela’ was unaccounted for then it's a chance she wasn't dead and she certainly wasn't in this castle. That meant someone disappeared right under the Volturi's notice.

He focused on his memories of Angela. Even if it was rather difficult to track someone he could barely recall. Although…it wasn't impossible. After a few minutes of concentration, he picked up a tenor and his stomach would have dropped. That was something he hadn't wanted because if he could track her, it meant she was still alive. Still alive…and not in the castle. Unaccounted for. He practically dived off the armchair, storming out of the room.

Demetri told Aro, Marcus and Caius that he and Felix would handle it immediately and took the three boys with him. All three having proven they were good at being sneaky back ups. The instructions were clear. It didn't matter how Angela escaped. If the child was still alive and Angela didn't hand the child over then she was to be eliminated. He tracked her to Norway and was faced with an isolated house that looked rather old.

The house itself, though rather spacious, was completely square and bleak looking. A complete lack of imagination on the architecture. This house was built purely on function and nothing more. Brown bricks, brown windows and a charcoal grey simple roof. It gave the impression that the house, submerged by the surrounding forest, had been lost to time. Perhaps due to the upkeep… if there was one.

Demetri's attention was grabbed by a woman coming out from the front of the house and toward them around the back. He remembered Angela much clearer upon seeing her. She had been changed. Somehow. That implied she had gotten some help. However, there was little time to think about that as Demetri saw a little girl clinging to Angela's side. She looked about physically six years old. However He was too busy being stunned at the most obvious thing of the child's appearance.

“A girl.” He said quietly to himself, his gaze softening momentarily. His first girl. A girl that had survived. Finally. The first girl in two hundred years. He wanted to ask how the girl survived. It took priority in his head over anything else. He didn't even care how they escaped at that point. Only that he had a daughter. A living daughter.

It was clear the poor child was terrified. No doubt Angela had taught her to fear Demetri. He wasn't overly pleased by that, though not surprised. Though it wasn't too big of a problem. He believed every child should fear their parent to an extent. Though never so much that said parent couldn't be trusted. That was the goal with every child he fathered. Each one would learn to trust him. Even if they were intimidated by his stern demeanor. Every one of his children learned it. Even Helios. He learned that he could cause the trouble should he wish it. He'd simply expect the consequences swiftly after but above all, Demetri was the boss. No ifs, ands or buts. The same went for this girl. She could fear him, she could question his intentions, she could scream and cry but what she wouldn't do was try to override his authority.

However, if there was one thing that caused him great concern was Angela herself. The carriers never survived the birth. So the one main parent was Demetri. The children did not have enough memories to really bond with the carriers. From the second they were born, the children were removed from the dungeons and he swooped in for that integral time ensuring they bonded to him. By the time they were bonded to him as their father, he could let go and ultimately they'd be cared for by others but he'd still check in. Therefore all of his prior children had only bonded with him. This girl hadn't bonded with him at all in her entirely life and had grown dependent on the carrier who was alive. That was a big complication. Therefore the carrier wasn't a carrier anymore. The carrier had become a mother.

Finally Demetri spoke. “I should have known you'd be the one to cause trouble. You always were the stubborn one.” “How can you be so sure? You seemed too occupied to keep up with the likes of us.” Angela replied coldly. “I'd be very careful how you speak to me, surrogate.” He spat. “You've caused a very big problem for the Volturi and my own daughter.” Angela jutted out her jaw in defiance but couldn't ignore her instincts warning her of the danger to come. “My daughter is no concern or business of yours. She's perfectly safe with me. Where she belongs.” She tried to force any fear from her voice but failed tremendously. She knew her wording was dangerous, having dared to denounce Demetri as her daughter's father.

Without warning, he stormed towards Angela. “You dare speak those words to me!?” He hissed. “You think I'll allow this? You believe I'll simply walk away from this?” His glare pierced her very soul. An anger unlocked that could make the forest shake. The very foundation of the world crack. “I will not rest until that girl is with me where she belongs. That is where she should be. That was the very reason you got to live as long as you did, you ungrateful wench!” Angela knew he had the experience to overpower her. She was in the latter years of her newborn status and year by year was losing that newborn strength. He had the intelligence over her too. She blurted out a response in panic that did her no favours as she fought for control over the situation. “I've told her everything about you. She knows what you've done.” She said coldly, her head held high. Demetri seemed to search her expression. His anger bubbled just under the skin. “Is that so?” He asked lowly but by no means less angry. His hand gripped her jaw tightly. “All the more reason to take her since you fill her head with things she shouldn't hear at her age.” He ground out.

That seemed to spook the little girl and she sprinted off back towards the house “Madison!” Angela cried out but Demetri kept a firm grip on her, his eyes darting towards the fleeing girl momentarily before his gaze returned to Angela. “You've done your purpose, surrogate. I'll take it from here.” “I'll die before I let you take her.” Angela gritted out. “Then die.” He said in disgust and before she could stop him, his other hand grabbed the back of her head and twisted. With a sickening crunch, her head came off.

Helios giggled and nudged the head lightly with his foot. “Ares. You come with me, we'll take care of this.” He then turned to the younger two boys. Before eyeing the house. “Get her.” He ordered. Helios giggled again, this time with excitement. Tasks like these were like playtime to ensure the hybrids would be excellent hunters. The two boys nodded and sprinted to the house.

Madison knew she only had mere minutes but she had the house to her advantage as she knew it. However she didn't realise that in this circumstance that wouldn't be enough. She especially didn't have the ability to hide her fear and her fear had well and truly overwhelmed her by the time the two boys had entered. Madison looked up at them through narrow gaps in the floorboards trying to be quiet but her sniffles didn't help matters.

Sebastian looked around with much more thought than Helios did. Helios wanted to tear the place apart, make a mess using the hunt for his younger sister as an excuse. He was famous for that in the Volturi. He justified his trouble with reasons for doing so, even if they lacked logic. Sebastian kept a tight grip on Helios’s wrist so he didn't go anywhere. “Do you hear that?” Sebastian asked lowly. “I don't hear nothin’!” Helios said loudly and Sebastian shushed him. “That's because you're not listening, idiota! Listen! Usa le orecchie!” Helios huffed and stayed quiet. That's when they heard whimpering sobs. “Okay maybe I hear that.” Helios huffed. He peeked under the couch. “Nothin’.” “If father hears you cutting off your words early, he'll be annoyed.” Sebastian said. “No one likes a snitch.” Helios chided. Sebastian ignored him walking around the living room. “It's coming from the floor.” He halted. “Non va bene.”

Minutes later, Demetri and Ares returned. “Well?” Demetri turned to Sebastian and Helios. “We found her. She's under the floorboards.” Sebatian said. That was something Demetri didn't expect. He heard the crying and noticed something the two boys hadn't. To the left of the room were three misplaced floorboards. A small child could get in, but no one else could.

Demetri looked at Helios. “Go in there and get here. Helios giggled again, already excited for the curious game of hunt. He already imagined what he could do to get to the girl. Demetri noticed and grabbed Helios’s arm and glared at him. “She isn't to be harmed.” That dampened Helios excitement some. Demetri continued. “Bring her to me, unharmed.”

Helios scrambled towards the hole and dropped in with no fear. The chase was on and sure enough he heard the scuffling of two children beneath him. That's when Demetri heard his daughter scream in fear of Helios. She now realised that Demetri had sent him in to retrieve her. He heard the two crawling and tried to follow them from above. “Don't be frightened, sweet girl. You'll be alright.” Demetri said loudly but went ignored by the girl. Suddenly, he heard Helios yelp and whine in pain and aggravated. His eyes widened. Sebastian moved to his side. “Father, I'd be able to fit in but I wouldn't be able to get out again, I think.” Demetri nodded. “Go in, I'll get you out again through a different way.” Sebatian nodded and headed to the hole. It was definitely a tight squeeze but he could do it.

Demetri heard shuffling and Sebastian spoke up. “Are you okay? Go back up. I'll get her. Father will check your face.” Demetri felt a burning rage and concern to hear his son must have been injured. “Helios!” Demetri called and moved towards the hole where Helios was looking up at him. He had covered his noise and mouth. “She kicked me!” It came out muffled but Demetri hauled him up and out of the hole by the arms. “Let me see, darling.” Demetri muttered as he inspected his sons nose and mouth for any injury. His son didn't seem injured but got a good bop to the face. He felt relief and rubbed his sons shoulders.

Demetri was distracted suddenly by a snarl, yelp and scream. “I've got her!” Sebastian yelled. Demetri moved back towards where he heard his children. His daughter was clearly terrified. “Quit squirming!” Sebastian yelled. Demetri moved to where he heard them directly below him on the floor. Suddenly Sebastian screamed in pain. “Get off! Get off! Help! She's biting me!”

Demetri lunged forward and tore at the floorboards that came away with ease. “Stop it!” Demetri demanded as he caught sight of Sebastian squeezing the girl as her jaw was clamped on his shoulder. “Get her off!” Sebastian shrieked. Helios, the violence fanatic, looked around Demetri. “Punch her in the head!” “No!” Demetri growled. “You bring her to me. She is not to be harmed!” Demetri reached in and noticed how small she was. He was thankful he hadn't given any of his sons an opportunity to hurt her. He highly doubted she'd not be severely injured. “Take her! Take her!” Sebastian cried as Demetri pried the girl from Sebastian and straightened to a stand. Madison kicked and screamed, trying to get away.

“Be still.” Demetri gritted out sternly. “You won't win this fight. You're coming home with me.” He angled her head to the side of his shoulder, holding her there by the back of her head and carrying the rest of her weight with the other. “Boys, we're going.” He said briskly.

Madison screamed and cried for her mother. That sent a pang into Demetri's chest and tried to console the girl. “Hush now.” He said soothingly low into her ear. She felt the rumble in his chest as he spoke. “You're safe, sweetheart. I'm your father and I'm going to take you home.” He kissed her hair. He forced away his anger that she'd be left with the confusion and fear. She didn't know her father or her brothers, she didn't know the castle she was supposed to grow up in. He had a good feeling about his daughter too. She seemed to be aging like her brothers but not quite catching up. He listened to her heartbeat. Quick with terror but strong. Very strong. This was a healthy child. He was confident she'd last like his three sons would. She had to. “I'm not going to miss one more second of you, sweetheart.”

[hvwks]

bkdks that go out of their way to call uraraka bland and uninteresting or otherwise a "flop" of a character... just know. youre the weakest link.

[aria0fgold]

My level grinding journey to get the Umbreon from my once underleveled Eevee is just: spam "Echoed Voice." And now that I wanna get the hidden power tm via subway battles, I am still spamming Echoed Voice.

[nochepsicodelica]

Bear Boyfriend Toji returns. ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ <- Hell yeah, that's the clingy thing <3

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ᕦʕ •`ᴥ•´ʔᕤ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Don't let him catch you wearing his clothes, unless you want him relentlessly tailing you for the rest of the day until you both go to sleep. It's one thing to put his shirt on to go to bed, but it's a whole other thing to wear it in broad daylight, while cleaning the house, cooking, folding and putting away your laundry, etc. He will follow you and try to corner you as you make your way around, trying to get all these things finished. You have to be very strong-willed in order to duck under his arms and escape him when he tries to seduce you by caging you against the wall. It doesn't deter him when you leave him standing there with his hands still planted on the wall. He laughs it off, mutters something under his breath about you being a tease and keeps chasing you, his prize.

Cooking is the hardest thing to do in his clothes. You're literally working with fire, sharp knives, and multitasking it up, while he's clinging to you and whispering in your ear all the filthy things he wants to do to you while you wear his shirt. You're crying your eyes out while you cut an onion and when you ask him to watch the pot, he Toji Taxes you. Says, "Yeah, sure, I'll stir... For two kisses and a squeeze." Unbelievable, but you need that help, so with a much called for roll of your stinging, bleary eyes, you make your way to him and let him take what he wants in exchange for his assistance. After one very long squeeze to your boob over his shirt and two kisses, he happily has a wooden spoon in his hand. Indulging him in his demands only fueled his desire to get you back in his grasp. It's that damn shirt, it fits like a short dress on you. Another thing he loves is that if you reach high enough for something, he gets a peek at the mere pair of underwear you're sporting under it.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ᕦʕ •`ᴥ•´ʔᕤ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ When it rains, good luck getting this bear of a man off of/away from you. It's hard enough to get out of bed on a daily basis because of how he constantly drags you back until he's ready to get out of bed, but rainy days are something else entirely. It's cold, the sky is gloomy, everything is wet, and worst of all... the chances of getting wet socks are much, much higher. It's not his favorite, but the one thing that makes it all better is you, so his clinginess is on another level—it's really like he's being powered by the storm.

He loves when your schedules align during this kind of weather. Neither of you has to leave the house for work, so there are no alarms set and you both wake up at your own times. Days like this transition from being wrapped up in each other until your stomachs start growling, to putting on big sweaters that smell like him, so that you can run to the car together through the heavy rain, to get something to eat. Once you return, you make that same run through the rain to get back to your home and you both head straight for the bedroom, where you are once again made his prisoner and caged in his arms for the duration of your afternoon nap.

He doesn't want to leave the bed anymore, and that extends to him not wanting you to leave either, even when you say you have to pee. "Hold it, mama. We're still sleeping." "I've been holding it for half an hour." "Shh... If you last the whole hour, we'll go make that coffee you were chirping about, earlier." He definitely chides you when you can't fall asleep later at night, but is more than ready to help you in any way that expedites the process.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ᕦʕ •`ᴥ•´ʔᕤ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ With how long you've been together, it's to be expected that you feel safe around Toji, but there are just moments where he stands back and thinks about the things you do that demonstrate how emotionally and physically comfortable you are with him. He's glad that you see him as your confidant and that you don't feel the need to dial down your feelings, just so that he can easily digest what is going on with you. He's a strong man, he can handle your tears of varying emotions, so, when you come home from a terrible day at work or you feel like you are losing your mind, because nothing is going right, he openly invites you to plop yourself on him and just lie there until you're ready to talk out what has you feeling the way you do. You don't have to say anything until you are ready, but if his presence comforts you and helps you relax a little more, he prefers that you seek him out for solace.

The physical aspect of feeling safe around him is shown in many ways, like when you fall asleep on him or even just fall asleep around him. You trust that he will look out for you during these moments of vulnerability and he does. He can easily tell when a nightmare is preventing you from getting good sleep and he does not wait for you to wake up in tears to comfort you, because what is being abruptly woken up, to enduring uncontrollable fear your mind creates?

When you go out together, even just being subtly maneuvered so that you are walking on the inside of the sidewalk, makes you feel protected. You already get automatic scary bear privilege with him, so you rarely feel like you are endangered by others, but the little things he does are very much considered and appreciated, too. Like, when you're walking through a large crowd and he holds your hand tight or he hooks his arm around your waist and pulls you into his side, so that you don't get lost. Or when he switches places with you and becomes a barrier between you and the group of sketchy looking men walking by.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ᕦʕ •`ᴥ•´ʔᕤ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ This bear loves when you fly at him like a dart and tackle him or at least try to tackle him after a long day of not seeing each other. Sometimes he'll stumble back on purpose just to make you laugh when he says something along the lines of "woah there, pretty girl. We almost went through the wall." It's gotten to be a routine for whenever you come home from work before him. As soon as he shuts the door, he's silently and slowly turning around, throwing a smirk at you in anticipation of you jumping on him. Sometimes, he crouches down slightly and scoops you up before you even have the chance to try and knock him over. The way you laugh as he carries you back to where you were lying on the couch, while he rapid fires kisses onto your face, is everything. This is definitely one of his favorite parts about coming home to you.

Before anything, you read Toji's body language, because sometimes there are days that don't call for this kind of silliness. Like when the door shuts, signaling that he's finally home, but he lets out a tired, heavy sigh. You greet him in a much calmer manner, simply walking up to him and asking him how his day went and if he wants to freshen up before he eats dinner—questions of that sort—while still being mindful of not overwhelming him with too many of them. It's very much about reading his mood, but also attempting to lift it by doing things like reminding him that he's about to eat one of his favorite meals, even when you know he knows, because the entire house is flooded with the aroma, or telling him about a new little food spot that you saw on your way home from work and suggesting you go try it together sometime.

Most of the time, you're able to lighten up his mood, and if it's not before you go to the bedroom, it's while you're lying in bed together, getting ready to go to sleep. Quiet investigative murmurs reach his ears, while his head rests on your chest. You play with his hair to ensure that he feels calm and secure enough to talk this out with you, and he usually does cave and spills what's on his mind. It's mainly tiredness and work being a stressful hassle at times, inevitably preventing him from getting home to you when he's supposed to. He feels better once he gets it all off his chest and sleeps like a cub, attached to you, as always.

NSFW Below

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ᕦʕ •`ᴥ•´ʔᕤ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Dirty bear, dirty bear, dirty bear! He has more wet dreams about you than he would ever admit. It makes him feel ridiculous, given the consistency and then some, of the amount of times you and him have sex in a week. His mind is so greedy, already cluttered with images and moments with you, yet it continues to create more scenarios while he sleeps, giving him these "humbling experiences". Sometimes he has to get up in the middle of night—under the guise of going to use the bathroom—to change his boxers, because he ruined them with an involuntary overflow of cum and he needs to hide the evidence. It's something he gets all bashful and "c'mon, Toji..." about, while he's cleaning himself up, but when he catches you in the middle of experiencing a wet dream, he thinks it's the hottest thing ever. For a few seconds, it's just you grinding against the covers, quietly mumbling his name, before you still, again. And oh, he's a hypocrite. He will tease the living hell out of you about it when you wake up, his sleep ridden voice bombarding you with questions like... "How'd you sleep?" "Dream anything interesting?" "Who was there?" "What did I do that had you all riled up?" "Was dream me realistic enough to make you cum?"

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ᕦʕ •`ᴥ•´ʔᕤ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ This enormous, "intimidating man"—in the words of others—does not mind at all if you wake him up in the middle of the night because you need him. Especially, if you wake him up by pressing soft, butterfly kisses to his lips. He's willing to do anything you ask of him if that's how you ask for it. All it takes is a sultry, whispered "Please," from you and he's sitting up, getting ready to fulfill your needs. He doesn't even need to ask you what you need, the way you flip over to lay on your stomach and raise your oversized shirt over your hips, revealing your panties to him, tells him everything.

Toji is sure that this is just going to lull both of you back to sleep, but he does it for your sake. He goes for the usual position that these spontaneous sparks of nightly desire call for—prone bone. Even during the early hours of morning, with both of you still half asleep, the act keeps its intimacy. His face is pressed close to the side of yours, his nose brushing your cheek as sloppy, lazy kisses meet your skin. His hands go to the backs of yours, interlacing his fingers with yours on your pillow.

Short, languid rolls of his hips against you are what you receive, and it's enough, because your body is so sensitive after having just woken up, that it tricks you into feeling like he's giving you way more. It's all quiet, shuddered breathing, until you release the cutest little whimpers and cries into your pillow, once you cum. The way your cunt clenches and spasms around his cock has him releasing deep groans into your ear, as he nears his own climax. Slightly more punctuated thrusts that jolt you into the mattress and heavier breaths, are followed by thick spurts of cum that brim your walls. For a second or two, you feel like he might break your fingers from how hard he's squeezing them, but the pain vanishes, and you're distracted from the fact that it was ever there when his arms envelop you and his lips smear wet kisses over the side of your face, again. A quiet check in is conducted, and when you confirm that you're fine and you feel good, he fully relaxes and just slumps on you. You both end up falling back asleep just like that.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ᕦʕ •`ᴥ•´ʔᕤ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ He loves having hush hush sex at least once a week. He takes you out to places where there are lots of people—a restaurant, for example—he'll move his chair so that he's sitting beside you, and he'll start touching you under the table. He relishes in the fluctuation of your composure, the way you nibble on your lip while nervously looking around, how your eyes shut tightly just before you shudder out a sigh and let your head hang, your knuckles protruding as much as they can without tearing through your skin.

The sight of you quickly spending all your grounding techniques, goes straight to his dick, and it's not long before things are moved to the bathroom. He won't do the whole, i'll meet you in the bathroom in five minutes, scene. He really doesn't care who sees you two, so he's dragging you along with him to the men's bathroom, hand in hand. He'll check to see if it's all clear, and if it is, he'll pull you into the bathroom and lock the door, immediately pinning you to the door. You're lured into the sloppiest make out session ever. While one hand is bunching up your dress, the other is going under it to feel up your chest and the rest of your torso. Then the bumping against the door begins and your moans are being shushed by him. "Your pretty moans are for me, right?" "Mhm." "Keep it that way. No louder than this, or i'll stuff my fingers in your mouth so no one gets to hear them."

Of course the people outside know what you did. It's a couple coming out of the men's bathroom together, and the woman is clinging to her man, while she walks back to her table with very obviously trembling legs. Once Toji helps you get back into your seat, he digs into his lukewarm meal, as if nothing ever happened. He smiles all lovingly as you pick up your fork with a shaky hand and start eating as well.

[thief-of-eggs]

The casual intimacy of the Silco/Vander jackets scene makes me feel like they were the type to share a bed when the nights were too cold, and blankets too sparse. Like they were the type to be all up in each other’s business, speaking on each other’s behalf, fighting on each other’s behalf.

Like they were the type to offer each other casual touch and affection, when it was so hard for them to give to others. Vander silently grabbing a comb to brush through Silco’s hair, Silco wordlessly applying polish to Vander’s gauntlets.

I don’t know why the scene hit me so profoundly, but it did. Maybe it’s because there’s a level of intimacy needed in order to so casually hang your coat within another’s. You need to be trusting of the other person’s level of cleanliness, first off, to assume your own clothes won’t pick up some dirt, or a foul smell. And there’s the fact that a scent is likely to be picked up- Silco’s jacket then would smell like Vander, and Vander’s would smell like Silco. Whatever cologne or body wash or personal BO they had must’ve been strong enough to linger, given how Jinx tried sniffing their coats, even after all the years.

It also shows the heartbreaking layer of trust that Silco had for Vander. To slip his jacket into Vander’s, like a physical reminder that Vander was his protector. That he knew he was smaller and weaker but also knew that Vander would never hurt him.

Until he did, anyway. Despite how casually intimate they were, despite how trusting, how intertwined.

No wonder Silco went a little insane. Came back a little demented. Hell, I’d burn the world too if I were in his shoes.

[redpulsive]

SYLUS ⋆｡✩ eating you out

18+ MINORS DNI

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧

Heyyyy everyone, I noticed my yappathon about Sylus grinding/dryhumping is getting quite a lot of notes! If you somehow haven’t seen it before reading this one, here it is! Anyways, I’m super happy about the attention that post got, so I decided that I’m going to do another one about my personal favorite aspects about Sylus, which is the fact that THIS MAN EATS!!! Practically confirmed atp thanks to his Affinity Level 145 Secret Times: Midnight Feast.

Edit: I made another one about thigh grinding/thigh fucking here!

I’m just going to babble in bullet points again regarding my ideas/opinions about the matter

Let me say this right off the bat, no wild bushes or periods will EVER deter this man from eating it. He does not care about your pubic hair or your period blood getting in his business. As long as you’re comfortable with being hairy or being bloody while he’s eating it, that’s all he cares about, your comfort means everything to him.

He can cum just from eating you out. Just the sole act of servicing you in that type of way gets him UNDONNEEE.

He WILL encourage you to use him if you want to, it’s insanely sexy to him. Just the idea of you bucking your cunt against his tongue and getting your slick all over his lips makes him HARD.

Because of this ^ he especially loves it when you sit on his face. he’d have your ass in his hands like putty while you’re using his beautiful, scrumptious nose as your personal seat. And believe me, no matter how much you weigh this man is STRONG and he WILL let you sit on his face.

He has to be in a position where he can see your face. Eating it from behind isn’t as rewarding to him imo! What’s he supposed to look at if your pretty face isn’t in his view? He wants to see just how good he’s making you feel. His one exception to this is if the two of you are in a 69 position, which he’d never make you do unless if you were willing.

He uses his tongue all over you, swiping it inbetween your folds, dipping it into your entrance, licking your clit, the whole thing is a delicacy and he’s RAVENOUS. That is his main course.

He can be pretty intense about it. He’d take his time at first, but at some point he’d get so into it that you’ll be SQUIRMING trying to kick him off of you. He does NOT PLAY about this shit!

He will be moaning and groaning into it, the taste and smell of your slick arousal is just SO intoxicating to him. He cannot help himself.

Eating you out is his man’s stress relief. You’ll never see another man drop to his knees in front of you faster than Sylus after a tiring and annoyingly long day of work. Once he goes to work on your cunt he’s in a trance, 10/10 distraction method for him AND it’s a win-win for the both of you.

If you’re in a position where your legs can be on his shoulders or wrapped around your head, they’re going to be on his shoulders or wrapped around his head. He likes to be LOCKED IN!

He’s always gripping your thighs or your ass during the deed. He’ll constantly run his hands up and down your legs, especially you’re standing while he’s on his knees.

He loves, loves, LOVES when you hold his head in place and run your fingers through his hair! Please god, play with it while his tongue is working on you, it’s like a personal reward to him.

90% of the time his eyes are locked onto you with a soft and attentive gaze, but during that other 10% his eyes are closed and his eyebrows are slightly furrowed. How cute.

Depending on his mood he’s either down bad and worshipping you OR he’s being very playful and naughty with you. When he’s worshiping you he’s giving you all sorts of kisses, bites and hickeys all down your body while murmuring sweet nothings to you, starting from your head all the way down to your thighs before getting right to action. When he’s being naughty he’s being such a tease, he likes to rile you up physically and verbally to encourage you to take some sort of initiative.

Once you orgasm he is cleaning the mess with his tongue. He will not let you shower or wipe yourself down with a towel until he’s had his fill.

Do not underestimate Mr. Coochiesucker9000 over here.

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧

[astrow1zar6]

Big Slay Placements to have in your chart

Jupiter in the 10th house: big boss placement, these people are usually so hardworking and ambitious at whatever job they do & have the ability to climb the financial ladder very quickly. Gives good luck in finding a career & making money. A lot of big business bosses & CEOs have this placement.

Jupiter in Leo: oh you’re the main character, this is such a lucky placement to find in your chart. Grants amazing level of confidence and charisma that can get you very far in life. Usually have good luck in dating as well & can be very good with children. This person will be very generous & big hearted, usually the party starts when they walk in. Very loud & unashamed of themselves. If afflicted however it can be big narcissists & have a hard time saving money. But overall these people are pretty lucky.

Venusian moon/degrees (Taurus + Libra, 2,14,19,26 degrees) gives a very pleasant personality and a charming mannerism. Bestows beauty on the native as well. I’ve never met anyone with these placements/degrees that are unattractive I swear. These people also have an easier time finding their soulmate than most. Can have very satisfying relationships that are usually long term. Their partners are also usually pretty attractive as well. These are truly bad bitches!

Venus in the 5th house: can charm the pants out if anyone. Even if they aren’t that attractive they can get anyone in their bed I swear. Although I notice their relationships can be rather short lived it’s usually not long till they have another admirer waiting to date them. They love to flirt.. and are usually very good at it. They see flirting & seduction as a game & have a lot of fun with it. It usually makes the native very physically attractive & have very beautiful children as well. U ever see those families where all of them just look so perfect?? 9/10 one of the parents got Venus in the 5th house. However they can struggle with addiction easily whether it be sex, gambling, dating ect.. so be careful you can get very overindulgent!

Venus/asc or in 1st house: a classic bad bitch astro placement. These people are just super pretty. They get noticed for their beauty and lot and usually have a lot of admirers. These people are easy to get along with and are agreeable (they hate arguments and confrontation). They can get popular easily on social media for how they look. Have a very ideal feminine body type (usually hourglass figures with a big 🍑). They can be love addicts as well just like Venus in the 5th house people. Tend to be interested in dating and had crushes at a very young age. They also attract pretty partners and friends as well (they do not fuck with ugliness😭). They can come off as pretty vain and superficial but it’s hard to fully hate these people even if they are a lil surface level. Also very blessed career and financial wise most of the time. (Their appearance helps them get jobs they aren’t normally qualified for) super blessed imo.

Venus conjunct Jupiter: idk why but I think of Santa Claus when I see this placement, just super generous & have big love for others. This placement also screams POPULAR. Your social life is always booming and really busy. People are just really drawn to you and you have amazing social skills. U attract all different people from all walks of life. Anything Jupiter touches it expands so when it touches Venus everything associated with Venus is multiplied in your life meaning you can attract nice things easily, attract a lot of wealth, partners, friends ect. They can have a very exotic look or be attracted to others with exotic looks (people from different cultures/ethnicities). They also can be very spiritual and have strong beliefs and a good amount of faith which gives them confidence and optimism. Beware of overindulgence and laziness because they can become pretty lazy if they don’t challenge themselves.

Sun in the first house: they are usually very flashy personalities (even the introverts). Every one I met with this placement had a big star quality about them like you can tell they have the skills to be very well known. They have a great amount of confidence & and lot of people I see with this dress soooo nice & are really good at taking pictures on social media. They love attention which is why a lot of celebrities have this in their chart they attract others to them like a magnet. This magnetism however attracts a lot of jealousy from others, you can have a lot of haters as well as admirers (it’s cuz you’re popping💋). These people can get too lost in the spotlight and become really egotistical & arrogant if they don’t watch themselves which can cause a lot of chaos in their life. But overall these people usually have a big fan base (even if they aren’t famous). Very good placement for the sun.

Neptune in the 1st house: they all look like they came out of a vintage Hollywood magazine. They are so naturally glamorous and glossy looking. They can have features that look very ethereal or out of this world like in a mystical way. When I think of this placement I think of lady Amalthea from the last unicorn. Many models and celebrities have this in their chart. They tend to take perfect selfies as well. These people actually can benefit from plastic surgery (not instigating it at all) but they can make themselves look even more unreal if they get it. (Ex; Kylie Jenner lips). These people can be big trendsetters too and can notice a lot of people try to copy them (it’ll never be the same effect however) they look so naturally cool and glamorous it’s hard not to copy. Most have very creative original styles that people admire so much. These people however can fall into addiction & mental health problems if they don’t take care of themselves… they have very fragile mental states due to their extreme sensitivity so it’s important for them to take care of themselves instead of using escapist tendencies. But overall these people are real life mermaids/fairies🥺

If you guys want a part two I will be willing to make more of these☺️ cuz I have a list of placements I find super cool to have. Lmk in the comments 💋

[stllmnstr]

starlight

pairing: yang jungwon x f reader

genre: soulmates au, university au

word count: 13.4k

warnings: swearing, angst (but a happy ending because I’m not a monster), soulmate lore, copious amounts of pining and yearning and sighing

soundtrack: crying over you - honne, beka / a world alone - lorde / this is me trying / invisible string / daylight - taylor swift / spring day - bts / so far away - agust d, suran

note: this was another find in my old drafts that I spent a couple of days editing/rewriting. I have very much been in a jungwon mood these days, and it was fun to venture into some more angsty stuff that I haven't written in a while. happy reading! ♡

⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖

There’s a word for it. Something that’s whispered behind closed doors, shunned like a bad omen you can’t quite shake.

Glitch. A cruel twist of fate. A failed soulmate match.

Something you’ve been marked as since the countdown on your wrist ticked to 00:00 two long years ago and left you lonelier than ever. Something you’ve been fighting since destiny carved itself into your skin with a dull, lifeless shade of gray.

But fate is a funny thing. And love, as you’ve learned, is often found in the most unexpected places.

or,

fate, with all of its cruel, incandescent scheming, leads straight to yang jungwon.

⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖

The overhead fluorescents in this particular lecture hall always manage to leave you with a pounding headache that even a strong dose of Advil can never quite seem to mitigate. 

“And with time, these bonds only strengthen. Until a point is reached after which both parties would experience immense pain were they to be physically separated, willingly or not.”

Well, it’s either the lightbulbs or your professor’s droning.

Today, his words are slightly muted where they reach your ears, as if you’re underwater. Drowning in a topic that’s been beaten to death a million times over. 

Still, this is information you should be taking in. Or, at the very least, jotting down notes of, since it’s all but guaranteed to appear on your final exam. But no matter how much you will yourself to focus, you can’t get your mind to cooperate. 

After all, it’s bad enough that you’re forced to be here in the first place. 

Sociology 112: Intro to Soulmate Theory. An absolute joke of a class. 

The very foundation your society is built around. A nagging reminder of the grayscale deficiency that stains the skin of your left inner wrist. 

Subconsciously, you tug the left sleeve of your shirt down a little further. There’s no need, not really. You made sure that your mark was fully covered before you left your dorm room this morning. Just like every morning. 

But long standing habits are rarely broken, and the last thing you need now is another reminder of what makes you different. What makes you wrong.

At the front of the lecture hall, your professor pushes forward in that same, monotonous stupor. He’s either unaware or unconcerned by the fact that some of his students may be affected by his lecture on more than just a purely academic level. 

Staring straight ahead, you distract yourself by scanning your professor, eyes taking in his appearance. At the very least, it will make it look as if you’re paying attention to what he’s saying. 

With the signature graying hair most men in their mid-fifties carry, a pair of rather plain, slightly round eyeglasses, and neutral button-down appropriate for most professional settings, there’s nothing particularly noteworthy about your professor. 

Like most people, he gets up in the morning, selects a plain shirt from his modestly sized closet. He enjoys a cup or two of black coffee before embarking on his morning commute to campus, leaving ten minutes earlier than strictly necessary, because he’s convinced it helps him avoid the worst of the morning traffic. 

His life is one of normalcy, you imagine. Nothing that most people would find especially enviable or extraordinary. 

But when he reaches up to point out an example on the lecture slide, the left sleeve of that beige button down lifts, just slightly. 

You only catch a glimpse, a tiny fraction of a look, but you see it all the same. The glossy, shiny, red 00:00 inked into his skin. 

You resist the urge to scratch your wrist. He clicks forward to the next slide. Life goes on.

“As per the syllabus, you’ll be completing projects with an assigned parter on a topic of your choice. Although I encourage you to consult a variety of resources and include several points of view in your project, the only firm guideline is that your topic relates to soulmate theory.”

Several points of view. You suppress the urge to roll your eyes. Yeah, right. In your experience, any arguments against the traditional soulmate model are scoffed at. Met with nothing but anger and ridicule. 

Although it makes for a miserable life, it does make for a simplistic assignment. Assigned partners are usually the bane of your existence, but no matter how incompetent this one is, you’re sure it will be easy enough to meet up once or twice in the university library and regurgitate common sentiment on how the soulmate system is nothing short of a wondrous gift to humanity. 

Glancing at the clock as your professor officially dismisses class for the morning, you suppose you do have something to thank the heavens for. He’s wrapped up fifteen minutes early, which means you’ll have enough time to grab a coffee before your shift. 

Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and once again checking that the fabric of your left sleeve covers your wrist, you slide your laptop into your bag and stand up from your seat. 

No matter what particular strand of bullshit this class dragged you through, today will be a good day. Or at least a comfortingly neutral one. You’re sure of it. 

With one final scan of your desk, you head to the exit at the front of the lecture hall without a backwards glance. 

And in the very back corner of the lecture hall, tucked neatly out of both sight and mind, Yang Jungwon exhales a long sigh before gathering his things. 

…..

“Oh, you are an absolute angel.”

Playful frown tugging at your lips, you ask, “Why is it that you only praise me when I come bearing gifts?”

Jake’s too engrossed with taking a long sip of the matcha latte you just handed him to concern himself with giving your question a real answer. 

Despite his inclination to be most forthcoming with compliments when they’re a payment for caffeine, he’s hands down your favorite coworker. He’s genuinely kind, easygoing in a way that makes even the longest of shifts pass quickly. 

Setting your bag down, you slide into the seat next to his, turning on your desk computer. “Any new applications to process today.”

“Nothing yet.” Jake glances at the empty inbox to confirm his answer. He shrugs, adding, “This time of year is usually fairly slow, though. We tend to get the most applications at the beginning of the semester and around the holidays.”

“Right,” you nod. “That makes sense.” Times when people are fresh on campus, away from home and exploring a new environment for the first time. And times when people are lonely. 

It’s something you understand well. After all, you had been part of the latter group when you submitted your own application. 

Last year was your first year of university, and although the numbers on your wrist had already faded to a dull, matte gray by the time you enrolled, living on campus put you far away from your support system for the first time in your life. 

Even then, you avoided it as long as you could. It hurt something in your pride, felt like admitting a weakness, admitting a flaw. But the truth could only be avoided so long and on one cloudy afternoon in late fall, the loneliness crossed the line from painful to unbearable. 

So, with a rain jacket pulled tight around your body, you made your way to the Student Support Center on campus and sought out help for something you’d been grieving in private for the better part of a year. 

It had still felt like shame, to disclose the details of your condition. To tell another person about the cosmic cruelty etched permanently into the soft skin of your left wrist. 

And then it was done. Your secret belonged to someone else, too. Pain was shared, and over time, started to feel less like a cut and more like a bruise. 

It still ached when you pressed on it, of course, but you felt lighter. Able to breathe a little easier. 

But even with all of the support, all of the work you’ve done to feel a bit more like yourself, pain is still a shadow that lingers at your heels. 

Even now, months later, sitting next to a friend, you suppress the urge to tug at your sleeve again. 

You’re able to see your actions for what they are now. And you suppose it’s the same thing – injured pride, a deep sense of shame, that has you wearing long sleeves even as the last days of late summer cling to the air with stifling heat. 

It’s not as if your unfamiliar with the failure etched into your skin. You know what you would find, what everyone would see if you were to wear short sleeves for once. 

A dull, matte gray 00:00. A reminder of what could’ve been. What should have been, if the universe had just been a little kinder to you. 

Even as days and weeks and months pass you by, you still remember when there was a different number displayed there. One that got smaller with each passing second. One that, like your professor’s, like everyone else’s, glowed a bright, glossy red.

Just like everyone else, you were born with red numbers on your left wrist. There was no sign then, at your birth, that you were different. That you were a glitch. 

Just like your family, just like your friends, just like every stranger you passed in the street, your number was normal. In fact, it was enviable. Mostly because it was so much smaller than average. 

As a child, you’d reveled in it – the comparatively short length of your soulmate countdown. It wasn’t unusual for people to have to wait well into their twenties, thirties, or even forties to find their soulmate. 

But a quick calculation had revealed that your countdown would tick to 00:00 just after your seventeenth birthday. 

It feels stupid now, like some sort of cruel joke, that you ever thought of yourself as lucky. 

You still remember it as if it were yesterday. Two long years ago, at the delicate age of seventeen. On the precipice of a life-changing revelation. A moment that was meant to mark the beginning of your forever. Your happy ending. 

The air was clean that day. Lingering with the fresh scent of the earth after a rainstorm. Rebirth. A sign of something beautiful to come. Dew and humidity clung to you like a second skin as you raced towards the neighborhood park that had been haunting your dreams for the last few weeks. 

Soulmates and the bonds that connect them aren’t magic, not exactly, but there was still something divine about it, the cosmic energy that sang to you. That told you that this particular park was where your life was destined to change. That it was where you were going to meet your soulmate. 

The other person who felt the same gentle tug towards you, whose wrist was stained with a matching countdown, set to tick down to 00:00 at the very second your eyes locked with one another. 

Your heart was racing, nearly beating out of your chest. Your fingertips thrummed with it, that overflow of energy that didn’t come from you but belonged to you all the same. 

And like everyone else, your timer ran out. 

He was there. He was there, and you knew it was him without having to say a word. Across the park, under the shade of an old sycamore tree, you could see it, feel it in his eyes. 

Your soulmate. 

Handsome and a year older than you, if you had to guess. A perfect stranger that you felt like you already knew. That already understood you without the need for words. 

You had been too wrapped up in it, in him, to notice the one striking oddity. Because unlike everyone else, your completed countdown, that ever coveted 00:00, didn’t remain that gorgeous, shiny red. 

No, while your eyes were locked on his, heart singing with unfulfilled dreams and visions of a future you’d never have the privilege of knowing, it had faded to that same dull gray that mocks you now. 

It wasn’t the color that you noticed. It was the burning sensation that finally had you tearing your gaze away from him and landing on the skin of your left wrist. 

Confused, your brow drew together as you tried to make sense of it. As your mind spun, searching for a plausible explanation. 

And when you finally found it in you to look up at him again, the wrongness of it all began to sink in. The way he walked toward you with slow, reluctant steps. The way his mouth pulled tight at the corners, as if he wanted to prevent any words from escaping. 

The wedding ring wrapped around the finger on his left hand. The already occupied space you thought would belong to you one day. 

It was an accident, he told you. Even then, his voice had been steady. He wasn’t pleading for your forgiveness. He didn’t need it. He didn’t need you. 

It was nothing more than a drunken mistake between him and a girl he met at university. One that he wasn’t serious about, but damage had been done nonetheless. A single night that was meant to be a blip, a passing moment in time, but had turned into a child. One that the two of them had already made the decision to raise together. 

A child that had made them both decide to forgo the fate written on their wrists and forge a new life on their own. 

It hurt, he told you, to see you, to know that he was causing you pain. 

But one glance at him confirmed for you that his hurt was different from yours. For one, he could still speak, could form words with that same, even cadence that felt like knives embedding themselves into your skin. 

You had wanted to beg, wanted to scream until your throat was raw. It was him. It was him. He was supposed to be yours, and you were supposed to be his. Wasn’t it the same for him? Didn’t he feel it too?

But his mind was made up and you knew better than to plead with a man who had fought and forsaken destiny itself. 

It wasn’t your fault. He had told that day, and you’ve heard it countless times since then. From your parents. From your closest friends. From your own tear-stained reflection in your bedroom mirror. 

But blame with nowhere to go always had a way of ending up on your shoulders, and empty reassurances never stopped your mind from spinning with painful possibilities on sleepless nights. 

What if we had met sooner? What if he had never met her? What if they never had a child?

Or even worse, 

What if I found him again? Begged him to reconsider? Convinced him to leave her?

In the end, it was pointless. Fate had been written and then rewritten. Would in a tight string and undone in one fell swoop. The stars had aligned and shifted and still remained so terribly out of reach. 

There was nothing you could do, nothing to be done. 

But it didn’t stop the loneliness from seeping in. It was always loudest in the quiet moments, but it never truly left. It didn’t matter where you were – in class, with friends, surrounded by people, or completely alone. There was always an overwhelming sense of loss, of loneliness that followed you wherever you went. 

So last fall, when the burden of it felt too heavy to bear alone, you’d bitten the bullet and applied to your university’s support program for glitches. Although, of course, none of the staff dared to use that word. 

It’s where you first met Jake. And the bright red number on his wrist still ticks evenly, he had a friend once, one that shared a fate similar to yours. One who let the loneliness consume her instead of accepting help. 

Even though it wasn’t through firsthand experience, Jake knew the pain of a failed soulmate match intimately. And after a handful of weeks, you’d found genuine friendship in him. 

After a few months of attending support groups, he was the one who suggested you for an open position on the support team. It was him that thought you might find a renewed sense of purpose, a distinct kind of empathy for the other students on campus with stories like yours. 

You’re grateful beyond words for him, for all of it. For the people and the friendships and the small moments that remind you that life is worth living, even on the hard days. Even when you’re forced to sit through classes on soulmate theory and pretend like long sleeves are nothing but a fashion statement. 

So you’ll take his compliments with a smile, even when they come at the expense of a matcha latte from his favorite campus cafe. You’ll take the hard days and the good days and all the little moments in between. 

He knows it too, even if you don’t say it with words. Even if all you ask is, “The matcha’s good?”

But something in you still smiles, still feels a little lighter, when Jake turns to you with a grin and assures, “Of course.”

…..

If there’s one place you still find to be painfully devoid of optimism, it’s your damn Intro to Soulmate Theory course. Although it’s an important element of existing sociological systems and objectively relevant, it presses on your ever-lingering bruises more than just about anything else in your day-to-day life. 

As if that weren’t enough, it’s a morning class. Which means you’re already in a dreary mood as the clock ticks painfully slow through yet another monotone lecture. 

Thankfully, your professor’s cadence is beginning to slow, a surefire signal that class is drawing to an end. Again, you glance up at the clock, a spark of pleasant surprise flickering through your mind. Could you really be so lucky as to get out early two classes in a row? 

At the front of the hall, your professor scans his notes one final time. Nodding slightly, you really think he’s about to let you go ten minutes ahead of schedule. 

But then his eyes pause at the bottom of the page, a reminder he missed the first time. 

“Before we wrap up for the day,” he says, and you suppress the urge to groan audibly. “As I mentioned last class, you’ll be completing your next assignment in partners.”

That’s right. You’d almost forgot. Ugh, as if the disappointment of a full length lecture hadn’t been bad enough. 

“The instructions, rubric, and due date can all be found on your syllabus, and as always, you’re welcome to email me or attend office hours with any additional questions you may have. I’ve already taken the initiative to place you in pairs, so please listen for your name.”

Glancing down at his notes again, he reads out the first pair. 

“Kim Sunoo and Lee Heeseung.”

As he moves through the seemingly endless list of names, you begin to tune out. Have there always been this many people in this class? Admittedly, this is not a lecture that often commands your attention, but it seems like something you should have picked up on. 

A minute later, spurred by the sudden sound of your own name, your attention snaps back into focus. 

“... and Yang Jungwon.”

Yang Jungwon. 

It’s a name you’ve heard in passing, maybe. But it’s not one you’re familiar with. 

Standing as the list draws to a conclusion, you begin to look around the emptying lecture hall. You figure it might be easiest to exchange information now, but you’re not sure if you’ll be able to find him with everyone else trying to do the same. 

Sighing, you decide to try for a minute or two before just resorting to looking up his email on the online class list later and sending him a message there. 

Ultimately, it’s him who finds you. 

“___?” At the sound of your name, you spin around, looking back over your shoulder. 

His presence, like his voice, is unassuming. Still, as your eyes land on who you assume must be Yang Jungwon, there’s something about him that makes you want to keep looking. 

Dark hair falls over his forehead, framing equally dark eyes. Dressed in a baggy sweatshirt and oversized jeans, the attention doesn’t seem like something he’d seek out. Even now, he doesn’t quite match your gaze. 

“Yeah,” you affirm, somewhat breathless. “Yang Jungwon?”

“Just Jungwon is fine.” He smiles, but it’s a tight, strained thing. Doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He’s pressing forward before you have time to linger on it. “Do you want to go ahead an exchange information now? I’ll get my final training schedule this afternoon, so I can message you when I have a better idea of when I’ll be able to meet up.”

Well, he seems competent enough. Or at the very least, willing to put in effort. It’s more than you can say for most of the assigned partners you’ve been given. And it’s pleasant surprise in a string of disappointments and what is surely going to be a miserable project to work on. 

“That sounds good,” you nod, reaching for your phone. You open a new contact before handing it to him to fill out. As he types, you watch a strand of hair fall over his eyes. He doesn’t bother to brush it away, even as your fingertips itch with the sudden urge to. 

Instead, you busy yourself with asking a question. “Training schedule?” you echo his earlier words. “Are you an athlete?”

If he’s put off by your probing, he doesn’t show it. Steady as ever, he continues typing. “Mhm,” he hums. “Taekwondo team.”

“Ah,” you nod. “That’s cool.” Accepting your phone back, you type your name into the newly created chat. “Here, I sent you a message with my name, so you have my information, too. I work in the afternoons, but I have a pretty consistent schedule. Once you have your training times, we can figure out when we’re both free.”

Glancing at the message that comes through on his end, Jungwon confirms, “Perfect.” Hiking his bag a little further up on his shoulder, he pauses for a moment before turning his gaze towards the door at the front of the lecture hall. 

In the time that’s elapsed, most of the other students have made their way towards it. The room is significantly more empty than it was a handful of minutes ago. Still, Jungwon lingers for a moment. 

Finally, he looks back at you. This time, he does meet your eyes. 

You know it’s nothing but the overhead lights. The same obnoxious fluorescents that always give you a pounding headache. But reflected in his dark, searching gaze, they almost look like starlight. 

“I’ll see you around, then,” he says before turning towards the door. 

And if you let your gaze linger just a little too long on his retreating back, you’ll be grateful that no one is paying you enough attention to notice. 

…..

Your dinner is cleaned up, skincare is completed, and the events from your day are blurring into a sleepy sort of haze when his first message reaches you. 

9:36 pm Yang Jungwon I got my final training schedule. Looks like I should be free Tuesday and Thursday afternoons after 4 if that works for you?

Double checking your work schedule, you type a reply. 

9:38 pm You I work on Tuesdays until 6 but I can do Thursday at 4. 

9:39 pm Yang Jungwon Let’s plan on Thursday then 👍 Meet you at the library? I’ll reserve a study room on the first floor. 

9:40 pm You Sounds good, see you then!

With the semester well underway, Thursday is quick to roll around. Other than a quick wave and a small smile towards him during your last shared lecture, you haven’t had any contact with Jungwon since your last messages. 

Even though it’s still only early afternoon, you’re already feeling the weight of a busy day weighing on you when you arrive at the library. A handful of minutes before four, you’re working to locate the study room Jungwon just sent you the number of. 

Navigating your way through frazzled study groups and overworked, overcaffeinated upperclassmen, you finally find it with a few minutes to spare. Pulling the door open slowly, you’re half surprised to see that he’s arrived even earlier than you. 

Early and straight from practice, you assume, if his still slightly damp hair is anything to go by. Freshly showered, the faint smell of his shampoo reaches you where you slide down into the seat across from him. 

“Good call on the study room,” you add after your initial greeting. “I always forget how packed the library is once the semester really gets going.”

“Right?” Jungwon agrees. “I have a friend who swore by them last year, and now I’ll never go back.

“Letting you in on the study room secret,” you grin, pulling out your laptop. “That’s a true friend right there.”

“Yeah.” Something in Jungwon’s gaze softens as he nods. There’s a distinct fondness in his eyes, one that makes you think there’s a story there. One about more than just study rooms. “He is.”

When you finish settling in, you pull up your course syllabus again, clicking on the link to the assignment guidelines. “So,” you start, scanning the page one more time, “the instruction seem pretty straightforward. It looks liek we just need to pick a topic within the realm of soulmate theory and discuss recent research or developments.”

Swallowing the sudden lump in your throat, you suppress the urge to tug at your left sleeve. Eyes honing in on the screen in front of you, you force yourself into a practiced state of detachment. The one you always revert back into when discussing this particular topic. 

“I don’t know if you have a topic in mind already,” you shrug, “but I’m pretty much open to anything.”

Across from you, Jungwon’s teeth start to worry at his bottom lip. He hesitates for a moment, the room suspended in silence before he ventures, “What about –” Shaking his head slightly, his words die on his lips. “Never mind.”

Looking up at him, you frown. “Is there something you’re interested in?”

“No.” Jungwon shakes his head again. “I doubt there would be any recent research, anyway.”

“Okay,” you concede. Part of you wants to push further, but you don’t want to make him uncomfortable. Instead, you type in a quick search. “I just pulled up some recent research topics, and it looks like there’s been development related to countdown colors and location based soulmate matches.” Ignoring the sudden slight burning sensation on your left wrist, you fight to maintain an even tone as you ask, “Do either of those sound interesting to you?”

Jungwon pauses for a moment, considering. “Maybe location based matches?”

Exhaling, you release a breath you hadn’t been meaning to hold. With a small nod, you tell him, “That sounds good. Let’s look for publications to reference today.  We can divide them between us before we go and then take notes on them separately. We can meet up again next week at the same time to start an outline, if that works for you. We have a little over four weeks until the final paper is due, so that should give us a decent start.” 

“Yeah,” Jungwon agrees. “That works for me.”

Returning to your computer, you fight the urge to steal small glances at him as he does the same. In the minutes that follow, a silence settles around you. It’s not horribly awkward, but you still find yourself itching to fill it with something. 

Finally, you bite the bullet. “Would it be okay with you if I put some music on? Just something instrumental.”

Glancing up at you, your eyes meet. Again, you’re not sure how he does it. But tucked away in a library study room, his gaze reflects the lights above you in a way that looks all too much like starlight. “Sure,” Jungwon nods. 

Forcing your gaze back to your screen, you navigate to your study playlist and put it on shuffle. The first handful of notes spill into the silence, a calm piano melody that cuts through some of the stagnance. 

A handful of classical pieces and a dozen journal articles later, Jungwon breaks the easy rhythm the two of you have fallen into. “Clair de Lune,” he names the tune that has just begun to weave itself around the room. A small smile turns the corners of his lips upwards. “This is on my study playlist, too.”

You offer him a matching smile in return. A soft thing. A shared moment. “You like this song?” It makes sense. A boy with stars in his eyes listening to a love letter to the moon. 

“Yeah,” he nods. The quiet melody sings through the air, floats around tentative glances, delicate breaths. Lands lightly on two sets of shoulders. “You know, you’re better than I am. I always end up turning on my regular playlist and then singing along to the songs instead of actually working on anything.”

That earns him a full blown smile. “Believe me,” you lean in like it’s a secret. Something meant just for the two of you. “I do that more than I probably should, too.”

A shared grin later, the two of you are back to your own laptop screens. 

Even though it’s your study playlist that continues to filter softly through your speaker, you find yourself distracted for a different reason.

It’s all too easy to imagine.

Jungwon, alone in his room, eyes sparkling even as he fights off the clutches of sleep. A song playing through his speaker. An old favorite, maybe, or perhaps something he heard on the radio and hasn’t been able to get out of his head since. One that he sings along to softly, assignments lying untouched on the desk in front of him. 

…..

Despite your newfound fondness of your project partner, you’re sure that Intro to Soulmate Theory will continue to be your most dreaded class until the end of the semester releases you from its twice-a-week morning monotony. 

The universe, as always, seems determined to prove you wrong, though. 

Just as your professor steps into position behind the podium at the front of the lecture hall, a person slides down into the usually unoccupied seat just to the left of yours. 

Startled, you glance up .

“Jungwon?”

“Hey,” the boy in question smiles. Switching to a whisper as the professor begins his lecture, he adds, “I’m glad I made it on time. I thought for sure I was going to be late.”

Sliding his bag off of his shoulder, he pulls out his computer and finishes settling into the seat next to yours. Then, he sets something on the desk in front of you. “I brought this for you, by the way.”

Eyes landing on the iced coffee in front of you, you can’t find it in yourself to do anything but stare for a moment. 

“I noticed you have one sometimes, in this class.” With your silence, Jungwon suddenly seems unsure of himself. “I wasn’t sure what your order was, so I just guessed based on color. And I mean, light brown can be just about anything with iced coffee, so I hope you like it. I probably should have just asked, but…” he trails off, and you don’t think you imagine the light dusting of pink that settles across his cheekbones. “But I thought it would be nicer as a surprise.”

“I – thank you.” The fondness that’s been growing since your time together in library study room begins to swell again.

You glance at him, and your heart gives a strange, unsteady lurch. Not entirely unpleasant, but disquieting all the same. For a moment, it feels like something bigger. Something more.

Something you haven’t felt since a humid afternoon in a neighborhood park that you’ve been trying to forget for a long time. 

“You didn’t have to do that.”

Jungwon shrugs, but his cheeks retain their color. “I was stopping by the cafe anyway.” He gestures to the coffee on his own desk, proof of his claim. “Besides, it’s what a partner’s for.”

“Well, thank you,” you repeat. “I –”

“Again,” the sound of your professor’s voice, suddenly sharp, cuts through your words. “I’d like to give a firm reminder to you all that my lectures are not an appropriate place to carry on side conversations. Feel free to exit the room and forfeit your attendance points for the day if you are unable to refrain.”

Thoroughly cowed, you shrink back into your seat as a few wandering pairs of eyes land on you. 

At your side, Jungwon shakes with a silent hint of laughter. 

Despite the humiliation of essentially being asked to shut up in front of an entire lecture hall, the sight is enough to have you smiling. 

And when the two of you part ways an hour later with matching smiles and a promise to see each other again Thursday afternoon, your heart feels lighter than it has in ages. 

…..

When Thursday afternoon comes, it finds you and Jungwon tucked away in the same study room, sitting across from one another, laptops open, and outline for your project halfway formed. 

This time, the drinks that sit on the table in front of you are courtesy of your wallet. The iced coffee Jungwon brought you a few mornings ago wasn’t your usual order, but it is what you’re sipping on now. You can’t quite decide what you enjoy more: the taste or the sentiment. 

Either way, you have a feeling that a tradition of sorts may be blooming. 

You can’t say that you mind. It’s nice to have something to look forward to, to have someone to share it with. It doesn’t matter that it’s small. It doesn’t matter that it’s just an unexpected coffee to help a study session pass by just a bit faster. It feels nice, to be considered. To be thought of. It feels… special. 

With the same instrumental study playlist filtering through your laptop speaker, the two of you exchange a smile when Clair de Lune begins to play. 

With startling clarity, you realize that you enjoy this. It’s pleasant. A project that you were dreading with dragging feet has become something you look forward to. 

And you’re sure that it’s because of him. 

Despite the fact that you’re poring over research that would sting like a slap to the face under any other circumstances, Jungwon’s presence has a way of soothing the ache. Even as you scan over another promising article detailing the current research on soulmate matches in various geographic regions, you find yourself fighting smiles. Stealing glances. 

All Jungwon is doing is sitting next to you. Occasionally trading mindless conversations with you. But that’s enough to keep the reminders of a tragic fate lost to decisions and circumstances out of your control at bay for the time being. 

You’re not sure what it is, not sure why it seems to reach you somewhere that’s remained untouched for years, but the more time you spend with Jungwon, the more you start to like it. 

That odd sensation that almost feels like butterflies in your stomach. The stilted rhythm of a heartbeat that almost feels like it’s running a little faster, skipping a step every now and then. 

The warmth that sits high on your cheekbones and heats almost like a flustered blush whenever he catches your eye for a little too long. 

A million little almosts. A thousand little possibilities. The lingering ghost of a hundred somethings you thought you lost along with the dead countdown on your wrist two long years ago. 

But you don’t let yourself voice these thoughts. You’re afraid to even let your mind linger on them for too long. 

If it does, you’re worried that it will twist and tarnish whatever is taking flight into something ugly, something rotten. Will convince you that this glimmer of peace you’ve found is living on borrowed time and will only bring a future of misery in its wake. 

Because the semester will end, the class will finish, and your project will be submitted. 

Yang Jungwon will become nothing but a moment in time. A blip on a radar. A distant memory that you hope you’ll reflect on with fondness. 

Time will continue on with its incessant march, and the countdown on your wrist will still be that ugly, faded, gray. 

It doesn’t matter if the moments that pass between the two of you feel like almosts. Your fate was already written and unraveled by another man who didn’t want you. 

You’re a failure. A glitch. 

Pretty words and sideways glances and unexpected gestures imbued with kindness won’t change that. Won’t fix you. 

Yang Jungwon will move on from this project, from this class, from you. 

The countdown that you’re sure must tick bright red on his wrist will continue to get smaller and smaller, and you will be nothing but a forgotten memory. 

You’re not sure why it’s so upsetting, here in the sanctity of the study room. Not sure why this series of truths you’ve always known is suddenly so devastating. But something about the way they swirl in the recesses of your mind had you flailing, desperate for air, for distance, for space. 

Out loud, you choke out a halfhearted excuse about stepping out for a moment. The concern that immediately flickers across Jungwon’s features barely registers in your panic induced stupor. 

You need to go. Need to get away. Need to find somewhere to be alone and away from all of it, from him. You can’t breathe – 

“___?” You hear your name. You know it’s him. Hear him ask gently, “Are you okay?”

But it’s muffled. It’s all wrong. 

In your haste to escape, you knock over the gift, your gesture of goodwill in the form of coffee you bought for Jungwon. 

You watch, horrified, as it falls in slow motion. Hot, dark liquid spills over the table, narrowly avoiding his laptop and class notes. 

Of course. Of course you ruined this, too. 

“It’s okay,” you think you hear him say as he reaches for a spare napkin, dabbing at the growing puddle. But it’s not. It’s not. 

He reaches for his bag, pulling out another handful of napkins from the front pocket. Instinctively, he rolls up his sleeve, the left one, to wipe up the rest of the excess liquid. 

That’s when you see it. The inky 00:00 on the inside of his left wrist. 

It’s not red. It’s not shiny. It doesn’t make sense for him. A boy with stars in his eyes should have love on his skin. 

But even as you blink again, it remains unchanged. It’s a dull, muted, lifeless gray. 

A reflection, a twin, a copy of your own. 

A moment too late, his eyes fall to the skin of his wrist too. With the practiced reflexes of a trained athlete, he’s pulling it down just as quickly as he rolled it up. But it’s too late. You’ve already seen the truth. 

Shared pain. Shared shame. 

It grounds you. Reaching out a hand, you take a few napkins from the top of the pile. 

“Here,” you offer, voice unbearably small. A million questions swim in your mind, none of which you’ll ask. “I can help.” Hollow words and a hollow sentiment. There’s nothing you can do for him, and he knows it just as well. As luck would have it, spilled coffee is the least of your shared concerns. 

Nonetheless, the two of you wipe up the remainder of the spill in silence, a gentle piano melody still weaving its way around the space between the two of you. It wraps itself around both of your stained wrists, threads an invisible string between two lost souls, two shared fates. 

Finally, after long minutes, you are the first one to speak. “It didn’t get on your computer, did it?”

“No,” Jungwon shakes his head. He reaches an outstretched hand towards you, taking the soiled napkins you still hold before discarding them in the trash can. “Just the table.”

“That’s good.” A moment passes. Two. And then, “I’m sorry.” You’re not sure what you’re apologizing for. You’re not sure what you should be apologizing for. In the end, you take the easy way out. “I should have paid better attention to where your cup was. You can finish mine, if you want.”

“That’s okay.” Running a hand through his hair, Jungwon explains, “I usually only drink it hot.”

“I can get you a new one –”

“Really,” he insists. “It’s okay.”

And it is. You can tell that he’s not upset, not about the coffee. But the tension is still there. Has yet to vacate the room. Has yet to drain from the tight line in his shoulders. 

You saw it. You have the sinking suspicion that he knows you saw it. 

That puts you at a crossroads. You can act as if nothing has happened, pretend that you saw nothing and do your best to return to your project. 

But you’ve had friends and family tiptoe around you for the last two years, and it never left you feeling anything but empty. Even more unwanted, more of an anomaly. More of a glitch. 

You don’t want Jungwon to feel those things. Don’t want him to feel as if he has to carry all of his pain by himself. So, you try your best, in a steady voice, hiding the shake in your hands underneath the cover of the table in front of you. 

“You know,” you nod towards his arm, taking great care to keep any sign of judgement clear from your voice. “I actually work at the Student Support Center. I know it’s rare, but there are lots of people and resources there dedicated to helping people that… struggle with soulm–”

“I think we should just work on the project.” Jungwon’s lips are tight, drawn into a thin line. Avoiding your gaze, he sinks a little further into his chair. Even with his eyes trained on the floor beneath him, you can see the tension in his jaw, the uneasy tapping of his fingers against his leg.

The way he tugs at the sleeve that sits over his left wrist makes you want to press matters further, to push just a little more until he knows that he has you on his side, but you’ll respect his wishes. 

You may have shared moments between the two of you, but you don’t know him, not really. The boundaries he sets are not yours to push. The lines he draws are not yours to cross. 

The last thing you want to do is increase his discomfort, even if you have the sinking feeling that you’ve already done just that. 

“Okay, yeah.” You take a deep inhale. “I overstepped. I’m sor–”

But Jungwon just shakes his head again. “Don’t worry about it.”

…..

But you do. 

You worry about it when you head back to your down nearly an hour later, after bidding him a goodnight that was still riddled with tension. 

You worry about it as you prepare dinner, accidentally leaving the stovetop on long after you’ve finished cooking. 

You worry about it as you try to fall asleep, unsettling thoughts of Jungwon suffering from the same pain, the same shame you’ve been hiding for the last two years. Distantly, you wonder how long it’s been for him. 

You worry about it when you arrive at your next Intro to Soulmate Theory lecture, two coffees in hand. 

Your worry turns to dread when long minutes tick by and still, the seat on your left remains horribly unoccupied, coffee going cold where it sits untouched on the desk. 

You worry when you arrive at work, the handful of messages you’ve sent still unanswered no matter how many times you check your phone. 

10:47 am You Hi Jungwon, sorry if this is annoying but you weren’t in class today and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay

10:58 am You I’m really sorry about the other day at the library. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

1:32 pm You Hey let me know when you see this. I just really want to make sure you’re okay. 

You’ve typed and deleted a million more, unsure of how to best approach the situation. You’re not close to one another, not really. You’re not even friends. You’re project partners, and not even of your own volition. 

You can’t seek him out, because you don’t know where he lives. Who he talks to. What his schedule is. 

The whole situation has you feeling a bit helpless. Your shift passes in an absentminded blur as you try to piece together some kind of solution, some way of making sure he’s okay. 

In your daze, you hardly notice that the clock has ticked all the way to the end of your shift. Jake finds you, an apologetic smile on his features. 

His voice sounds far away, muddled as he asks you for a favor, asks if you’d be willing to pull a double tonight since the person on the evening shift just called out sick. 

Usually you’d be hesitant, but right now you’re desperate for a distraction. Something to take your mind off of the fear that gnaws at your gut. 

But through the fog in your mind, you’ve forgotten one thing. In your old schedule, evening shifts were always your favorite. Primarily because they’re significantly slower than the daytime ones. Back then, the reprieve had been welcome, and you’d used the extra time to finish up assignments between tasks. 

But now, every agonizing minute feels like an eternity. 

And it’s an especially slow night tonight. From your office seat, you watch as the light rain showers outside turn into a torrential downpour. With a sigh, you resign yourself to the fact that no one will be visiting tonight. No one will want to leave their home in weather like this. 

In the silence, you’re left alone with your thoughts. Again, you check your phone screen, hoping that sometime in the last three minutes since you last checked, there will be a notification to ease your worries. 

But there’s nothing. The only thing that stares back at you is the time and the faint outline of your own reflection. 

Frustrated, you set your phone back down. There has to be something you can do. You’re halfway convinced that you should just go through everyone on your class list and send emails until someone knows something when the sound of the chime that hangs above the front door to the center rings out against the silence. 

Peering over your computer, you frown. Maybe Jake forgot something. 

But as the person draws closer, a familiar shape begins to solidify. And it’s not your favorite coworker. 

“Jungwon?” It’s him. You’re sure of it. Even if he looks more like a drowned cat than the boy you share a study room with. 

Your brow furrows, a strange mix of confusion and relief coloring your features as you stand from your seat. A million emotions flicker through your mind, running too fast for you to fully keep up. Annoyance that he’s been avoiding you and your messages. Confusion as to why he’s here now. And above it all, cold, sharp relief that he seems to be okay. 

But then you let your eyes scan him, falling from his dark hair to his soaked sneakers. 

He’s absolutely drenched, down to the bone. Rain soaked hair falls over his eyes, stray drops streaking over his cheeks, his nose, his jaw. Dripping from his dark eyelashes. His clothes, usually baggy, cling a bit closer to his frame with the added weight of precipitation. 

And his eyes. His sparkling, shining eyes full of starlight. 

They’re frantic now, imbued with a panic you recognize all too well. 

“Jungwon,” you repeat, letting your strides eat up the ground as you close the distance that separates you. 

He’s shaking, you realize. His entire body trembles. Without thinking, without even really meaning to, your hands reach up to smooth some of his dark, wet hair away from his eyes. Your touch only intensifies his shivering. 

He stands, motionless, dripping on the floor. He still can’t match your gaze, has yet to breathe a single word to you. 

“You’re shaking.” You can’t help but state the obvious. Removing your hand from his temple, you reach for his hand. It’s cold, too. Raindrops melt against your skin as you touch your skin to his. Finding no resistance, you envelop his hand in your own. 

Tugging slightly, you pull him into a nearby room, stopping only to grab a warm blanket. Guiding him gently into a chair, you drape it over his shoulders, let it cover his entire body beneath his neck. 

Stepping away from him, you begin to brew a warm cup of tea. After another minute of silence, you hand it to him wordlessly. 

You watch him take a tentative sip. His fingertips are red, evidence of the lingering chill in his bones, where he wraps them around the mug. 

A million questions bubble in your throat. You breathe life into none of them. Silence settles around the both of you. Not entirely unpleasant, but brimming with something heavy. 

You’re not sure how much time passes like that. It could be minutes, could be hours. Could be something not bound by the rules and restraints of physics at all. 

But soon enough, the mug is empty. Jungwon sighs. 

“I just,” he finally breathes, and you feel your heart clench in your chest. Seizing like his pain belongs to you. His voice is ragged, scraped raw. And so, so quiet. “I couldn’t be alone.” There’s a tremble in his fingertips when he adds, “Not tonight.”

“You’re not,” you assure him, shaking your head as you step closer. After a moment of consideration, you slide down into the seat next to him. “I promise you. You’re not alone.”

Jungwon closes his eyes, lets his head fall back against the wall. You watch as his throat works around a swallow. 

“Okay,” he finally whispers. 

You mean it. He’s not alone. You won’t let him be. Not for the remainder of your shift. Not when the early traces of dawn start to streak in through the windows, clouds parting in the morning sky as the rain releases its grip on the world. 

Not as the sun starts to peek its head over the horizon, painting the sky in pastel watercolors and the promise of a new day. 

Even then, it’s just the two of you. Jugwon’s head it still against the wall. His eyes are closed, but you know he’s not sleeping. 

You don’t move until he does. Until he asks in a small voice if you’ll meet him at the coffee shop the two of you have started to become regular at. 

Until you honor his request with a nod and a promise to see him again in an hour. 

…..

The coffee shop is mostly empty this early in the morning. You watch, sipping absentmindedly on your iced coffee as a handful of patrons come and go, moving about their day blissfully unaware of the way your world feels a bit like it’s spinning on its axis. 

But you feel distant from them, too. 

The corner table you and Jungwon occupy feels private, secluded. A bit like the study room you’re also well acquainted with. A fitting place for revelations. 

After a minute of baited silence, Jungwon begins all at once, coffee warm between his hands. 

His match was supposed to be in a park, too. 

It’s interesting – the research you’ve been reading on location based matches supports claims that soulmate bonds prefer open air, areas surrounded by nature. Ironic then, that both of yours should end like this. 

Jungwon’s fate was set in stone later than yours. His match failed a year ago. Exactly a year ago. Today is an anniversary for him, a terrible reminder of your shared fate, shared shame. 

It was supposed to be in a park. His favorite one. A place he went often, a place he loved. He hasn’t been back since. 

Not when that eerie, cosmic, magnetic pull of destiny tugged at him until he was sitting on a bench, next to the rose garden that had just begun to bloom. 

Not when his breath stopped the second she arrived, and he knew, he knew that it was her. He was looking at his destiny. His soulmate. 

But she wasn’t looking at him. 

Not when he stood up to greet her, to meet his future with a wide smile and a fresh bouquet of wildflowers just as the shiny, red numbers on his wrist drew closer and closer to zero. 

Not when he watched, a distinct sort of dread building in the pit of his stomach, as someone emerged from the opposite side of the garden. He wasn’t carrying wildflowers, but he did hold a single, ruby red rose. 

Not when time ticked on, revealing with every steady, agonizing second that this stranger had the same intentions, the same plan. 

The same countdown. The same fate. 

Not when he watched, motionless, helpless, as this stranger met her first. 

Not when he watched in abject horror as both of their faces lit up with smiles. When she took the rose from him with care in her touch and love in her eyes. 

Not when he looked down at his own wrist, vision blurring as tears began to gather in his eyes, as bright, shiny red faded to a dull, lifeless gray. 

Not when he was a failure, a miscalculation. An unfortunate needle in a haystack of success stories. A glitch. 

Not when he watched the woman that was meant to be the love of his life fall into the arms of another man and leave him standing there alone. Lonely. Forgotten. 

Not when his fingers began to shake so bad that he couldn’t maintain the grip on the bouquet. 

Wildflowers stained the earth beneath him in a garish array of too bright colors, and he knew, even then, that part of his heart would be left there to die, too. 

Even now, in the seat across from you in the cafe, you can see the toll it takes on him. 

So you strain for a fragment of twisted comfort in the only way you know how. A reassurance that this particular cruelty is not his alone. That somehow, in an unlikely twist of fate, your paths crossed. 

Laying your left arm on the table between you, you slowly drag the bottom of your sleeve up. Only an inch. And only for a moment. 

It’s not a lot. Against the tides of his own agony, it’s nothing at all. But for now, it’s enough. 

…..

There’s an odd sort of balance, a distinct sense of comfort that comes from the simple act of understanding. Of being understood. 

It’s not quite as easy, as lighthearted as it was before, but you and Jungwon are quick to fall into a new kind of simple rhythm with one another. One that saves space for the intricacies of your shared pain and shame while still keeping them at an arm’s distance. 

It’s not solace. But it is something. 

You’re off tiptoes and on solid ground. For the first time in your life, you don’t feel the need to constantly check the length of your left sleeve. At least, not when you’re with him. You don’t have to pretend that it doesn’t hurt to sit through hours of lectures on soulmate theory every week. 

You don't have to explain any of it. Jungwon just gets it. He already knows. 

But when you meet him for your next Thursday study session, two coffees in hand, Jungwon’s eyes aren’t sparkling with their usual stars. There’s something different there now. A kind of fire you haven’t seen from him before. One that glimmers with determination. 

As you slide down into the seat across from him, he skips all pleasantries and says instead, “I think we should switch our project topic.”

It takes a concentrated effort not to knock over the coffee you set down in front of you for the second time in the span of weeks. “What?” At this point, your outline has long been finished and you’re well into writing your report. The thought of changing topics with barely a week left until the submission deadline is absolutely ludicrous. “Why?”

Jungwon doesn’t miss a beat. “I think we should do our project on glitches.”

You recoil as if you’ve been slapped. 

Glitch. It’s a word people usually tiptoe around, whisper behind closed doors. Not meant for respectable society and certainly has no place in a university research paper. 

You don’t even take a second to consider. “No.”

“What?” Now Jungwon is the one who looks surprised. Brow creasing, he presses. “Why? I mean, we’re both gl–”

“I said no.” You can’t hear him say it again. Features falling, Jungwon’s confusion begins to mingle with hurt at the sound of your sharp rejection. This might not be something that you’re willing to compromise, but your intention was never to hurt him, either. 

Sighing, you explain, “Look, I’m just not comfortable with it. Besides, we’ve done so much work on this topic already. It doesn’t make sense to switch so close to the deadline.”

Only a fraction of what you’ve said seems to resonate. After a pregnant pause, Jungwon echoes. “Not… comfortable.” His tone is flat, as if your words are indecipherable to him. 

He doesn’t continue, but you can tell that he has more to say. Can sense the words bubbling on his lips, begging to drip from his tongue. This is already a sensitive subject, and it’s made even more so by the way he tiptoes around it. 

Across from him, your cross your arms across your chest. “I can tell that you have something else to see.” You don’t mean to be combative, don’t mean to start anything. But annoyance is starting to creep in. It’s dragging dread along with it, like an old friend, like a dangerous reminder. 

“It’s nothing.” Jungwon shakes his head. “I guess I just don’t…” He trails off for a moment, deciding how best to tread treacherous territory. “How can you not be comfortable? I mean, you’re a glitch like me. Aren’t you curious at all? About why we glitched? If there’s anything we can do to fix it?”

And there it is. The lingering fear you’ve been working for two long years to overcome. The deep, aching insecurity that beneath it all, this is all your fault. That something is fundamentally wrong with you. “Fix me, you mean.”

Jungwon frowns. “I mean, I guess you could look at it that way, but I’m more curious about what kind of solutions there are.” He presses on, oblivious to the way every word sounds like nails on a chalkboard to you. The way every syllable pierces like a knife against your skin. 

He’s not overflowing with hopelessness where he sits across from you. No, he’s enthusiastic as he tells you, “I did some research the other day, actually, and there’s this one scholar who thinks that all glitches happen for a reason. He thinks that you can still meet your soulmate and get your countdown to turn back to red if–”

“Stop.” Your voice is too loud, too sharp, too much, for the scant space of this small room. “Please,” you’re whispering now, but Jungwon flinches all the same. “Just stop.”

Jungwon’s eyebrows draw into a tight furrow. You thought he understood, but he doesn’t. He still doesn’t get it. He tells you as much. “I don’t understand why you’re so against it. I mean, we finally have a chance to look into why we gli–”

“I said, stop.” Jungwon looks as if you’ve pushed him. Dumped ice cold water over his head and left him out to dry.

But now he’s angry, too. There’s an accusation in his words when he says lowly, “I thought you would understand.” 

And you do. You know how flowers wither when they’re left to die without any water. You know how love blossoms and blooms and dies all within the span of a single breath. You know what it feels like to carry a constant reminder of your most intimate pain seared into your skin, your soul. 

There was a time when you wanted to be fixed, too. When you would have given anything to have a second chance at that day in the park two years ago. When you were sure if you could just do it again, you would walk away with a different fate. A red countdown. A soulmate. 

But the longer you spent with your grief, the more you realized that it didn’t matter. The what ifs didn’t matter. The maybes didn’t matter. The almosts didn't’ matter. 

You can’t reverse time. You can’t turn back the clock until your countdown glows red again. You don’t get a second chance at that afternoon in the park. 

All you get is the life you have now. And you can grieve for what you’ve lost. Part of you always will. But if you spend the rest of your life lingering on it, obsessed with it, trying to fix it, then that’s all your life will be. 

You won’t just lose a soulmate. You’ll lose yourself, too. 

You’ll lose new friendships and favorite coworkers and every goal and dream you’ve ever had. You’ll lose quiet moments in secluded study rooms, trading smiles and sharing coffee. You’ll lose every shred of happiness in search of something that never really existed. 

Sitting here now, across from Jungwon, you’re not just angry. You feel stupid, too. Ridiculous for ever thinking that maybe, just maybe, butterflies bloomed in the pit of his stomach when he looked at you, too. 

That maybe, just maybe, when he matched your gaze, your eyes turned ordinary things into starlight, too. 

But even with gray on his wrist and pain in his heart, the distance between the two of you has never felt wider. 

Jungwon won’t even match your eye now. He aims for the heart instead. “You know, you’re the only person I’ve ever met who I thought would understand. Who knows what it’s like. To lose the only thing in life that really matters.” His voice is small, but it’s teeming with frustration, with misplaced anger. There’s an unmistakable fury in his eyes when he finally lets his gaze land on yours. But you know him now, even better than you thought. You see the pain just as clearly. The confusion, the hurt. 

And where he expects to find an apology, or perhaps some sort of agreement, he’s met only with a rage to rival his own. 

“Fuck you.” It’s barely decipherable under your breath, but he catches it, even if just barely. 

“What?”

You double down. “I said, fuck you, Jungwon. How dare you. You think you’re the only one who’s ever been hurt, the only person that this stupid fucking system screwed over?” And now your anger has been let loose, the floodgates opened. It rises, ebbs and flows like waves against a shore. Weathering over all the sharp pieces and jagged edges that time hasn’t yet managed to erode. Spills over onto the table like his forgotten coffee from weeks ago.

“Why do you think I work at the support center? Why do you think you’ve never seen me in a short sleeve shirt?”

You’re angry and you’re hurting and you understand his pain. But it’s worse this time. You don’t know why his determination to fix his failed soulmate match stings like rejection. You can’t figure out why it burns in a way that’s all too reminiscent of that afternoon in the park two years ago. 

You feel it all, under your skin like an itch you can’t scratch, an ache you can’t get rid of. You don’t know why he didn’t just stop when you asked him, why he won’t just listen to you.

“At least you get to wonder what might have happened.” You don’t mean to do it, to throw his hurt back in his face. To compare pain, to stack your scars against one another and measure them like there’s a winner in this game. “I met my soulmate. I met him and talked to him and fell in love with him and he still didn’t want me. It doesn’t matter what some scholar says. You can’t fucking fix that.”

You’re standing before you know it, heading to the door before you mean to. But you can’t stay here, can’t watch him look at you like that. Not when every word that passes between you opens wounds you’ve spent ages trying to clean. 

Not when you know that none of it, even the parts you’d hoped you’d remember fondly, were ever done intentionally. He didn’t mean to hurt you. Didn’t mean to give you butterflies or look at you with starlight in his eyes, and that only makes it worse. 

You’re already beneath the doorframe when you find it in yourself to add, “You’re hurting and you’re lonely and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. You don’t deserve that pain, and you never will. But I refuse to do this again, to spend the rest of my life thinking there’s something wrong with me. That it’s my fault, that I can fix everything, fix myself, if I just try hard enough. My matched glitched.” You still can’t quite say the word without flinching. “I’m a glitch. But I refuse to let that be the only thing I am.”

When the door shuts behind you, it echoes, even in the crowded hallway. 

Your footsteps feel too heavy as they eat up the ground between you and the front door of the library. The late autumn air feels too cold as you walk back to your dorm, enveloped in the quiet of the evening, mind screaming with misplaced rage. 

The silence of your dorm room is too loud as you sit alone in it. 

And the mark on your wrist is too gray, no matter how you look at it. 

…..

Jungwon is antsy. 

Even with the space of a day between him and your argument, he’s brimming with a sort of uncontained energy that will only spell trouble if he doesn’t find a way to channel it. 

Taekwondo practice helps, albeit only slightly. Physically, at least, it grounds him. There’s a solace to be found in the repetitive motion of his well aimed kicks. 

He welcomes the familiar ache in his muscles like an old friend, sweat building on his brow as he lets the calm, flowing energy guide his powerful movements. 

But even after two hours on the mat and a long, overly warm shower, Jungwon’s thoughts are still spinning in circles, still doing cartwheels through his mind. He needs to talk, needs to process everything that’s happened, everything that he’s feeling. 

But save for one person, he’s not sure who to go to. 

It’s then, the last member of his team still towelling off in the locker room, that he realizes that under any other circumstance, the first person that he would want to reach out to, to spill his heart and guts and soul out to, is you. 

It’s been weeks, a handful of days, a smattering of hours, since you became a name in his mind. A person with an identity other than the pretty girl that sits in the sixth row of the lecture hall, and yet. 

And yet. 

Jungwon is suddenly overcome with the urge to reach for his phone, to send a message, make a phone call. His better judgement stops him before he can. 

Mostly because he has no idea what he would say. An apology is in order, surely. He still sees the look on your face against the backs of his eyelids. The way pain etched itself into your features, the way your shoulders never quite relaxed after he suggested the topic change on your project. 

He’s not sure if this is even something that can be remedied with words, but he is absolutely certain that he never wants to see that look on your face again. 

So an apology it is, then. But for what, exactly? 

If he’s honest with himself, he still doesn’t fully understand. 

He let his anger, his frustration, his pain get the best of him, yes, but it was more than that. He’s not sure why you seemed so personally affected by the idea of exploring research around soulmate glitches. Why that word seemed to eat at you so much. 

So he lets his confusion carry him to the only place where he thinks he just might find an answer. 

The Student Support Center looks different in the daytime. Jungwon still feels that nagging sense of discomfort as he forces his feet through the front door. 

His shame feels most prominent here, in a place where admitting that he needs help still feels like weakness to him. 

Swallowing his pride, he forces his footsteps forward. The desk he found you at a handful of night ago is empty. But the one next to it is occupied with another student, a boy. One that looks a couple of years older than you, if he had to guess. 

He smiles when he sees Jungwon, offering a generic greeting before he takes another look at him. 

Jake, he thinks it must be, if your descriptions are anything to go by. Another person that Jungwon has begun to become familiar with in the past few weeks, albeit only by your secondhand account. 

And you must have done the same for him, because Jake is quick to mask his shock with something careful, guarded. 

“Hi,” he repeats, standing from her seat. “I’m Jake.” Looking him over once more, something akin to a sigh escapes his lips. “You must be Jungwon.”

Jake, as it turns out, is surprisingly easy to talk to. He understands why you like him so much. 

In a matter of minutes, a fairly abridged version of your last library session has been reconstructed, laid bare in front of eyes that know you best. 

Jake is silent for a moment, turning over thoughts in his mind before he finally says, “It’s not my story to tell.” Jungwon figured as much. “But I think she would, if you asked.”

Jungwon nods. It’s permission. From an indirect source, maybe, but hope flutters through his chest all the same. He has a goal now, something to work towards. Something that he hopes will fix whatever has shattered between the two of you. 

There’s a brief pause before Jake speaks again. “What I can say is that she’s done a lot of work to move on. To find meaning in her life outside of the number on her wrist. To stop feeling incomplete, like a burden, like a problem to be solved.”

And I threw those fears back in her face, Jungwon realizes, something twisting unpleasantly in his gut. 

The despair must play out on his features, because Jake is gentle when he says, “I won’t pretend to know what it’s like, but I do know how it feels to grieve for what could have been. It’s easier, sometimes, I think, to let that consume you. To spend your life trying to get as close to that lost future as you can, even though you know it will never be quite right. Even though you know you’re chasing ghosts.” 

Jake folds his hands across his lap, lacing his fingers together. 

“She made the decision to let those ghosts rest, to let that part of her life go. To find something else worth living for instead. For the small moments, maybe. For joy, for love. All those things that she still gets to feel.” 

That you still get to feel. Jake doesn’t say it, but Jungwon hears it all the same. 

“Those things that nothing, not even fate, gets to take away.”

Jungwon glances down at his wrist. It’s covered, but he can feel the ever present weight of it. Of the gray mark that he knows, deep down, will never fade. Will never change. 

And for the first time in a long time, that truth doesn’t feel quite so heavy.

“I…” Jungwon isn’t sure how to wrap his gratitude in words. “Thank you.” For telling him. For helping you. For being here. “For all of it.”

“Of course.” Jake smiles. Lets his fingers fall to his sides as he stands, brushing invisible dust from his lap. “Joy is even better when it’s shared, no?”

Joy is even better when it’s shared. 

For the first time in a long time, Jungwon smiles. A real smile, a face-splitting, toothy, uncontrollably wide smile. One that hurts his cheeks and reaches all the way to his eyes. 

It’s still there when he’s walking back to his dorm. 

It’s still there when he sits down at his desk, reaching for his computer and turning on the last playlist he was listening to earlier, just for something to fill the silence. 

After a handful of moments, a familiar melody begins to lilt through his speaker. 

Clair de Lune. It’s a tune he would know anywhere. It reminds him of moonlight, of starlight, and everything in between. It reminds him of long study sessions and stolen glances and tentative whispers. 

It makes him smile even harder. 

Looking at the computer in front of him, Jungwon thinks fate just might be a tangible thing. 

He feels it in the back of his throat first and then the base of his nose. The telltale stinging sensations that always comes at the first sign of tears. 

He lets it. Welcomes it. Allows them to fall. 

Alone in his room, hard, long sobs wrack his entire body and leave him gasping for air. Sorrow and grief and anger and joy all tangled together in one.

Because Jungwon is done mourning himself, the ghost of a life that has haunted him for the last year. The future that was never his to begin with. The weight of possibilities that time cannot undo, that sheer will alone cannot change.

Joy is even better when it’s shared. 

And he thinks he’ll start with himself. 

…..

The knock on your front door is unexpected. And it comes just too late at night for you to feel comfortable opening it without a second thought. Footsteps padding as silently as possible towards the entrance to your dorm, you run through the short list of people you think could possibly be knocking at your door at this hour and come up blank. 

Against your better judgement, you undo the latch, opening the door slowly as if that will be enough to deter any unwanted visitors. 

Thankfully, the sliver of space doesn’t reveal a threat. But it does have your brow furrowing in confusion. 

“Jungwon? How did you–”

Explanations for how he found your address are not at the top of his priority list. “I’m sorry,” he breathes, words tumbling out all at once. “I don’t…” A pained expression crosses his features. “I’m not good with words, and I don’t always know what the best thing to say is, but I’m sorry. I never should have said those things about you, about us. I – we’re not glitches.” He pauses, frowning. “I mean, we are, but that’s okay. We’re okay. There’s nothing to fix, and I’m sorry that I made it sound like I think otherwise.” 

He trails off again, jaw working as he swallows the lump in his throat. “I… You have to know that I think the absolute world of you, ___. I would never, ever want to say or do something that makes you think otherw–oof.”

Jungwon’s words die with the sudden impact of your head against his chest, arms wrapping tight around his torso. Shock renders him immobile, just for a moment, before he’s melting into your touch. Returning your embrace as his arms twine around your back, fingers settling against your spine. 

It’s all there, wrapped up in this moment. A solid foundation. A warm place to land. Things that futures can be built upon. Things that can breathe life into possibilities, into almosts, into maybes. 

“Thank you,” you whisper, and it’s lost somewhere against the skin of his neck.

“For what?”

“For everything you said.” You melt a little further into him, and Jungwon hopes that he never has to move. “For being here.” 

You mean it. He knows it. 

He lets his cheek rest against the crown of your head. You feel the movement of his jaw when he tells you, “It’s the only place I wanted to be.”

He means it. You know it.

…..

epilogue. 

“Where are you taking me?”

“You know,” Jungwon rolls his eyes, but there’s a smile on his lips, too. “The more you keep asking that question, the less inclined I am to answer it.”

Huffing, you argue. “We’ve been walking for thirty minutes.” With still no destination in sight, mind you. “Don’t I deserve some kind of explanation.”

“That’s what the coffee was for.” Jungwon’s smile turns into a grin, one of those real ones that lights up his eyes. That has starlight reflecting in them. One that has you returning a smile o your own, despite your complaints. “To distract you from the physical labor.”

“Well, we can’t all be on the taekwondo team.”

Jungown just rolls his eyes again. “We’re almost there. I promise.”

And despite it all, you believe him. Because it’s been six months since you were first assigned as project partners and nearly two since your shared class ended. And he’s still here. Still a permanent fixture in your life. Still responsible for so many moments you’ve come to look forward to, so many memories you know you’ll cherish forever. 

Because despite the gray numbers on your wrists, you’re both dressed for the activity. It’s nearing winter now, but it’s unseasonably warm. With the physical exertion included, it’s weather that calls for short sleeves. 

Because there’s no one else you’d walk thirty minutes towards an undisclosed location for. 

Because there’s no one else that understands you the way he does, not just from shared circumstances, but also as a result of effort. Of honest conversations and the genuine desire to listen. To learn you. To know you like the back of his hand. 

Because to him, you’re just you. A person capable of joy and anger and grief and love and all of the beautiful, wonderful, messy things that comes with being a human. You’re not a failure, not something to fix. Your identity isn’t constrained to the gray mark on your wrist. 

Because you think you might love him for it. 

Because you know that you do. 

And when you finally arrive at the small neighborhood park ten minutes later, the only thing you’re thinking about is how beautiful the lake looks bathed in the glow of afternoon sunlight. 

Later, sprawled on a picnic blanket underneath the shade of an old sycamore tree, overlooking that same lake, you’ll turn to him and whisper some nonsense about recent studies claiming that soulmates often find each other surrounded by nature. Particularly in the presence of a body of water. 

Jungwon will roll his eyes, will brush a strand of hair away from your forehead while he tells you that he doesn’t care, that it doesn’t matter, that it’s all a bunch of nonsense anyway. 

His smile will be soft, as he hands you the small makeshift bouquet of wildflowers you hadn’t noticed him collecting on your journey here. You’ll tuck your favorite one behind your ear before you lean back against his chest. 

And it will feel a little bit like coming home, like resting after a long day, like basking in the first rays of sunshine as winter finally releases its grip on the world and blooms into a glorious spring when he intertwines his fingers with yours and whispers against the shell of your ear that he thinks you’re beautiful. 

Fate is a funny thing, you’ll think as his breath tickles the skin of your neck, sends a shiver down the length of your spine. 

And no matter how many nights we’ve spent berating it, cursing it, resenting it, I’ll always be glad that it has led us to this. Or maybe, you’ll wonder as he presses a gentle kiss to the curve of your cheekbone, the space between your eyebrows. 

Maybe we led it. Grabbed fate by the collar and forced it to bend to our whims like that masters of destiny we are. 

Whatever it may be, I’m glad that it brought me here. 

To joy. To love. 

And most of all, to you. 

⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖

note: Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed. As always, I love hearing your thoughts. All the best ♡♡

[desertowlet]

My Little Ponywashing

The levels of miscommunication these two would get into are off the charts

Extra thoughts behind the designs under the cut because I've been rotating these guys in my mind for the past couple weeks :') I didn't realize how much I missed drawing ponies until now haha

Some extra details on the names/species choices!

Cosmic Comet is actually part pegasus (from his father's side) and earth pony (from his mother's side) I've been juggling around the idea that because of how physically strong/dense earth ponies tend to be compared to other ponies, he's probably not the most powerful flyer compared to his peers, which might have been something that brought him to be so fascinated with space travel and piloting— the galaxy's your oyster if you let the ship do all the flying for you! His foalhood nickname by his mother was "Shooting Star" :')

Midnight Moonflower is probably my favorite design out of all of them— she's the first one I drew as well :') It took a bit to decide which pony species she would be— I really loved the idea of her being an earth pony who is often overlooked and underestimated... but I feel like unicorn was such an obvious choice for her, I eventually caved (maybe I'll post an earth pony version of her in another post ♡)

Junebug is actively participating in the evil unicorn allegations (seriously why are there so many unicorn villains 😭) I decided to name him after these summer bugs that terrorized me as a kid, I felt like it would be a fitting name for him. If only he decided to go into entomology or something, but I guess it just wasn't good enough of a field for him 🙄

Easy Breezy is a hippogriff/seapony (couldn't resist the "fish out of water" motif he kinda has going on in the game, being an inexperienced intern completely out of his depth on a year-long voyage in outer space, (and a last-minute addition at that!)) like his name suggests he really goes to the flow, like the ocean currents... (much to the dismay of his parents)

Torque Wrench is probably the most fun one to draw, look at this stocky, grumpy earth pony :) I dunno if he'd still have a sneaker collection in this universe... maybe a bunch of custom horseshoes?

[elysiansparadise]

Astro Observations XII

🖤People with Mars-Vesta aspects like sexual exclusivity and are not the biggest fans of one-night stands. For them it is crucial to give themselves completely to a person who also gives themselves to them, to be with someone with whom they can have a deep connection beyond sex on the physical level, they long to be one with the other. They love to take their sweet time worshiping their partner's body, discovering it and finding those points that give them the most pleasure. 

🖤People with Sun making a biquintile or quintile Jupiter have the quality of easily bringing light to other people, they tend to be quite likable without trying and make positive and impactful impressions on other people. These natives radiate a good vibe without needing to brag about it, regardless of their personalities, people can find themselves very happy to have them by their side, likewise, they can notice that other people's mood improves after spending time with them.

🖤Having a Retrograde Ceres makes you have a tendency to procrastinate. This dwarf planet represents productivity and the willingness to create. Being retrograde can indicate that despite feeling inspired or motivated, you postpone doing something or that when you are about to do it you feel a block. This is also visible if Ceres makes a tense aspect to the Moon, Mars or Saturn.

🖤The loneliness experienced by those with Saturn in water signs or houses is something they feel very conflicted about. It is described as a bittersweet feeling between something that, although it causes us heaviness, gives us comfort to finally be able to have a moment of tranquility, in which we do not have our defenses up or put on a mask. They find comfort in the idea of ​​being safe from betrayal, pain and safe from those looks or prejudiced comments of another, yet it creates a deep void in them, making them wonder if the day will come when they can feel safe next to someone. A loneliness that, although heartbreaking and overwhelming on those cold and desolate nights, gives us peace of mind. One that we seem to look for but it is nothing more than a habit ingrained over the years.

🖤One of the placements that can reflect great intelligence in the chart is Saturn in the 9th house. Natives with this placement are people with very strong criteria, precisely their straight to the point attitude, their practical way of seeing things makes them not easily believe what others say and constantly question things or why they are that way. They are critical people, with premeditated thinking and highly analytical, they also have a touch of sarcasm and a slightly bitter yet charming humor in their own way.

🖤People with tense aspects between Moon/Venus - Jupiter are people who tend to give too much of themselves in their relationships, some of them even feel that they have to do things to deserve the love of others, going out of their way to help them, being there for them no matter what happens. This placement usually gives people who are too devoted, often falling into the dynamic of giving a lot without receiving the same in return. What is admirable about these people is that they want to make sure that the people they love always feel loved, the make sure their special ones never doubt their feelings.

🖤Having Virgo or Scorpio in the 5th house makes you a fairly selective person in terms of romance. Not only because they recognize your value, but because in the field of romance these natives are highly observant and critical, they see through your masks, they easily perceive if others are only adapting their personalities to something they like more and believe me, there is nothing they hate more than that. Likewise, when these people become interested in someone they are quite intense, they like to observe and analyze a lot about their person, they like to feel that they know them completely.

🖤Natives with Pluto-Chiron aspects have a strong loyalty to their loved ones and one of the things they are most clear about is that they want to be there with them, especially in the bad times. They learned to deal with things on their own, feeling very alone and suffocated in an ambush of ​​tense emotions as they went through their hardships and pain. Precisely because they know what it feels like, they want to do things differently with the people they love and provide them with strength and support in those darkest moments. They have the particularity of empowering, supporting and giving courage to the people they help.

🖤The aspects between Rising-Mars make the natives face life with strength, defensiveness and tenacity. They dislike appearing weak, giving any sign of weakness or doubt. They will always prefer to face things directly, without beating around the bush, hypocrisy or dishonesty. They are the kind of people who say: 'I'd rather tell you a truth that hurts than a lie.' Their identity is very strong and they do not feel the need to change to fit in with others.

🖤When the ruler of the 4th house is in the 9th, 11th or 12th house, two things in particular can happen, the first is that the person may end up living far from their homeland, city of origin or even country and the second is that they feel a disconnection either with your family or place of origin. This is because the 4th house tells us what we call home. Being in the 9th house, the person can find that feeling of home in complex, distant things or in another place. When it is in the 11th house tells us about finding family in friends or feeling an emotional disconnection with home. And in the 12th house it tells us about a detachment from home, by representing long distances, it could suggest living in a place far from your birthplace.

🖤People with Moon making a quincunx, opposition or square with Mercury may feel a block when wanting to talk about their emotions or personal things with some members of their family, often the mother specifically. They feel like they can't understand them or won't even make the effort to listen to them, so they refrain from opening up emotionally. It is likely that throughout their lives they have experienced not being able to find a middle ground with their mother or simply feeling very different from her.

🖤When we find the Part of Fortune in the 6th house, this is a great indicator of being able to make money through our hobbies or being able to start a successful business that is related to one of our talents, skills or interests. This is because with the derivative house system, the 6th house = the 2nd house of the 5th house. We can create something stable and profitable from our hobbies, being able to attract a lot of abundance. This can be magnified if we have: Jupiter or Venus making harmonious aspects with Part of Fortune. Part of Fortune in Taurus, Aquarius or Capricorn.

🖤Having the ruler of the 4th house in the 10th house makes the native have the feeling of having grown up before their time and of not having been able to fully enjoy their childhood or young ages. Many of them could have been children who learned to be aware of the problems that were happening around them in order to survive and/or help one of their parents. Some are even working from a young age.

🖤Part of Fortune in the 8th house tells us that your future spouse can be someone with a great economic position and not only that, but stand out for their good management of finances and have a talent or ability for business. They will be able to give you all the stability possible in the relationship and not only in the economic field, but also in love.

🖤When the 10th house ruler is very well aspected, natives can have a great relationship with their bosses or authority figures, seeing in them a figure they can trust and, sometimes even a friend. There can be a mutual admiration, a bond formed by the respect they have for each other and that feeling of being able to rely on them.

🖤People with Ceres in the 3rd house stand out for their creativity and for exemplifying the term 'idea machine'. They are people with a great imagination and ability to bring their ideas to life. They really like to nourish their minds, acquiring knowledge in the areas that interest them. They are open-minded people who love to talk and connect with people different from themselves. There is something about the way you speak that is comforting and very pleasant to others, from your voice to your way of addressing others.

🖤People with Chiron making a tense aspect with Midheaven may greatly doubt their abilities to go far or obtain what they want, often feeling that they progress more slowly than other people. Some of them fear being in the public eye for fear of being judged and prefer to do things behind the scenes. They likely felt judged by a parent or family member when they were very young, which could lead to the insecurities they carry as adults.

🖤Saturn-Midheaven aspects make the native a person with a great work ethic, someone who is clear about their ambitions and knows that they will do what is necessary to make them a reality. They give the impression of being very capable, strong-willed, persevering and experts in their field, becoming highly respected and admired by the people with whom they interact. There is a vibe of confidence and professionalism in them, often being intimidating to the people they interact with in the workplace.

🖤There is something incredibly magnetic about natives who have the ruler of the 8th house in the 8th house. Without intending it, they have the ability to easily attract the gaze of other people, to catch their attention and retain it for a long time, this thanks to their sex appeal, great attractiveness and the power they emanate in their aura. Many of them can stand out with more daring styles, clothes in cold tones or darker shades of any color. On the other hand, many of them can be seen attracting many people who may have a tendency to become obsessed with them or feel very intensely towards them.

Venus Return Chart notes...

🖤Just as we can find and interpret our Solar Return Chart or Lunar Return Chart, it is also possible to make our Venus return chart [You can check yours here]. This Return tells us about the way in which we will experience relationships throughout the period that the return chart lasts, how we will use our femenine energy and how we deal with financial matters. The following observations are focused purely on love.

🤍The Sun in this chart represents our focus on Venusian themes throughout that period. From how we focus our Venusian energy, our way of perceiving and experiencing romance during that period, or even how open we are to the idea of ​​having a relationship during those dates. By sign it tells us about the way in which we express that energy, while by house it tells us in which areas of our life we ​​can find someone and the areas in which we will mostly use our Venusian energy.

🩶In the 1st house: We can have a glow up. We will try to be more in touch with our feminine energy. We can put our self-love into practice more. We will take more care of our appearance. We can more easily attract the attention, love or interest of others. Our well-being and comfort are prioritized before wanting to please others.

🩶In the 2nd house: You will pamper yourself and you can use a lot of your money to buy small things that really make you happy. You will choose to implement self-love exercises into your routine, from phrases or small activities. You will fulfill your whims more. It is likely to be a period in which you receive many gifts or material reassurance. You may feel more aligned with your feminine energy.

🩶In the 12th house: You can dedicate a lot of time to expressing yourself through art or you can start practicing one. It will be a period in which you rethink what you really want from a relationship. It is an excellent period to manifest your ideal relationship or partner. You can choose to give yourself a break from romance or from pursuing it, taking a rather passive attitude about it.

🤍The Moon tells us about needs, both what we need to come into contact with our Venus energy during these months, to what we need in our relationships during the period of this Venus Return. 

🩶1st house: We need to focus on ourselves. Prioritize and satisfy our needs of all kinds. Be gentler with ourselves. Keep in mind what you really want both for yourself and in your relationships. You may need to feel protected, cared for, and treated gently or delicately in your relationships.

🖤 Aries Moon: You need decision, fast and safe things. You need to give yourself time and surround yourself with people with whom you feel you can truly be yourself. Loud and noticeable displays of affection, a relationship in which you do not feel hidden or hidden. You need to feel that your relationship is moving forward, the feeling that things are very static or routine can be the cause of conflicts between you and your partner.

🩶3rd house: We will need to feel that freedom to express love and our feelings on the surface, to make us feel that they really want to understand and understand how to love us better. We may need more constant communication than usual. There will be more need for verbal reassurance. We may want to open ourselves to forming friendships or relationships if we are introverted or single.

🖤Gemini Moon: We will need to be with people to connect with on an intellectual level, we may seek more of a mental connection than an emotional one. We'll want to focus on making memories, from experiencing new things together to having plans outside the home or out of the ordinary. There is a deep desire to know others completely and to feel that others show the same curiosity.

🩶6th house: There is a strong need to take care of and pamper your body, as well as to include things and activities that give you peace and tranquility in your routine. You need to feel your relationship progress little by little and feel the support of your partner. It is possible that during this time your relationship and/or vision of love takes on a more serious and focused long-term vision.

🖤Virgo Moon:You need to feel that your partner is really working and focusing on this relationship. It is time to establish boundaries and for both of you to make your limits clear, as well as to have serious conversations. You will feel the need to include your partner in your daily life and make plans together so that you are both comfortable and happy. You need subtle reassurance through your partner's actions or small details.

🤍Venus remains in the same sign since this is its return chart, however, we should pay close attention to the house position and aspects that it makes. It will tell us in more detail about our romantic life throughout that period, how we will experience it and the kind of people we will be with. Likewise, also in what areas of our life we ​​will mostly use our Venus energy.

🖤5th house: Not only will our love life be very active, but we will have a high degree of appeal throughout those months. We will attract many potential suitors and we will be more willing to romance. We can attract fun, entertaining and very passionate romances. There is a high probability of going on many dates and having many romantic plans if you have a romantic partner. We can meet a strong potential partner. We will feel more creative and for people with an artistic interest, they may feel that during this return they will create things that they consider truly beautiful as well as dedicate more time and attention to creating things that make them happy.

🖤7th house:For those who have a partner, their relationship can fill them with happiness, they will enjoy many meaningful moments with their partner and they will feel genuinely comfortable with them. While for singles there is a great chance of meeting someone with whom to have a formal relationship or someone who simply checks all the boxes. They will attract more balanced relationships in which they will feel that they do not give more than they receive and in which they feel truly loved and desired. Likewise, you will feel that it will be a period by which you will have already defined everything you truly want and value in a relationship and won't settle for less than that.

🖤8th house: You will attract intense, passionate romances that may be emotionally deeper than you ever experienced. You will feel like experiencing that kind of love that leaves you breathless, that changes you completely and in which you share an intimate and meaningful bond with the other person. You will have a high sex appeal and you will attract people who feel very intensely for you, that kind of connection in which both of you cannot sleep because you have each other in your thoughts, the one in which a single touch from the other is enough to feel that your skin bristles and craves for more.

═ Some observations ═

🩶I have seen in charts of people starting relationships: Venus conjunct the angles, specifically the DSC or MC. Pluto in the 5th or 7th house. A strongly placed 7th house ruler, either making lots of aspects, exalted or as one of the dominant planets in the chart.

🩶Tense aspects between Sun/Venus with Neptune can cause these existential crises regarding what we know about relationships and we can feel lost as to what we are looking for or want from a relationship.

🩶Having Vertex conjunct with Venus or the North Node tells us about the arrival of a person with whom the connection will be very strong, passionate and loving, something unforgettable for both of us. Regardless of whether you continue this relationship or not, you will leave a very special and deep mark on each other.

🩶Having the North node in the 9th house tells us about having a connection/relationship that will give us with great learning. Besides them, it will be something like we have never experienced, it can bring us not only lessons but also fun and a strong feeling of euphoria and content. It will be a relationship that will show us new sides of love and even of ourselves.

🩶Pluto in the 1st or 7th house may lead to having either a relationship with strong emotional intensity and desire, or a karmic relationship with someone to whom we can become quite attached.

As an aditional note, I truly recommend checking out this @a-d-nox 's post. I consider it to be a great post about this return chart.

[clairewritesfanfics]

Inside an Otoge: Mister Dragon, Let Me Love You Chapter 4

Pairing: Dragon!Sylus x Non-MC!Reader

CHAPTER 3 | Series Masterlist <<read the synopsis and trigger warnings first>>

A/N: Another update, because apparently, my brain will do anything except study anatomy.

The science of world-hopping is far from your expertise, but even with your high school-level grasp on physics, you understood the sheer miracle of getting transported into a dimension where the environment is not hostile and shares similarities with Earth’s atmosphere. Perhaps even more impressive is the fact that there is no verbal language barrier between you and Sylus. 

That’s why you are currently sitting on a gold and velvet chair while he lies on his side, cheek on his knuckles, and listens to you read your worn-out copy of The Little Prince,[1] the only reading material in your bag that isn’t related to your job.

When he first saw the cover, he was unimpressed, calling the titular prince “ugly.” You didn’t blame him. When you first laid eyes on it, you also didn’t like the artstyle, but you were young and prioritized realism and beauty. When you grew older, you appreciated the unique and cute character designs. 

“She cast her fragrance and her radiance over me. I ought never to have run away from her . . . I ought to have guessed all the affection that lay behind her poor little strategems. Flowers are so inconsistent! But I was too young to know how to love her . . .”

You are about to start another chapter when you catch Sylus with his eyes closed. Chuckling, you put a detached can tab between the pages. Maybe this novella is too boring for the great fiend. You move to stand, but he pinches the material of your shirt. “What’re you doing? Why did you stop?”

“I was going to let you sleep.”

“‘m not sleeping, I’m just resting my eyes.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I want to know what happens between him and the flower.”

“... fine. But if I catch you dozing off I’ll stop and you’re going to have to learn to read these words yourself.” You love this book but it is too long to be recited in one go. 

As you have predicted, by the time you reach the chapter about the Businessman, a lonely and pathetic man who counts the stars and only sees them as “little glittering objects” to be possessed, your throat has become too raw and you couldn’t continue. 

Fortunately, your spoiled dragon is too busy sleeping to protest. You bookmark the page and quietly set it down. “Sweet dreams.”

You take this time to find the exit, not to escape, just to know. You eventually find it. The cave opens to a cliffside overlooking a city boasting a castle that resembles a gothic Neuschwanstein Castle.

You breathe in the fresh air. Crisp and cool and not a trace of smog. 

Left alone in silence, all the questions that you forced into a vault have pushed their way to the front and center of your mind. 

Why were you brought here? What forces were behind this? Was it on purpose or an accident? Was this world  truly real? Did you get run over by a truck, end up in a coma and now stuck in this dream? Maybe the wormhole was a convoluted way for your brain to rationalize this.

You stretch your hand toward the sky as if trying to touch the clouds. If this was a dream, then…

You close your hand. 

“It doesn’t matter.”

A strong gust of wind howls at you. You grab onto the wall of the cave, almost falling over to certain death.

You raise your brows. The skies remain clear, but for a moment, it seemed like a storm was brewing. 

Shaking your head, you step back inside and explore more of the cave.

That evening, Sylus awoke to see you standing over him, watching him. He had to shut his eyes again. He would sooner stick needles into his tongue than admit that you scared him for a moment. 

“Did I scare you?” You tease him.

“...”

It is unnerving to have someone read him so easily.

Loathing, revulsion, disgust–he is all too used to these looks from humans. As a child, he would have done anything to have something different, something softer. He even tried to cut off his horns and tail, but nothing changed. When he grew up, he discarded such desires. A monster could never receive anything but the darkest tar of human emotion. 

“Hey, can I ask a question about dragons?”

“If you’re interested in making a deal with me, don’t bother. Your soul is too…” Your greed is nothing he has ever encountered before. It is there, he can sense its weight in you, but it resembles a tamed beast. No, rather than tamed, your greed is like a wild animal that had lost hope of ever escaping its chains. As if you’ve given up hope for anything more. “You have nothing to offer me.”

“Oh, no, I don’t want to make a deal.” 

He snickers. Of course. “Fine. Tell me your question.”

“Do dragons have two penises?”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...?”

“Repeat the question for me.”

“Do dragons have two–”

“–so I wasn’t hallucinating.” He rubs his temples. “You… I have no words.”

“Is that a no?”

“Do try not to sound so disappointed. Also, I advise that you not ask this type of question to anyone, regardless of species.”

“But I’m only interested in what you have to say.” 

He glances at you. There is not a hint of shame or deceit on your face. Ever since you arrived here, you have never looked at him the way others have. You always meet his gaze head on, steady, unafraid but never arrogant or angry. You told him that he reminded you of the sunset. If that were so, then you are a clear sky. 

He could never stand mornings. The light makes him weak and irritates his eyes. But if he were an ordinary man, a human, would the sun that used to burn him be kind and gentle like what he was feeling right now?

You did say that you belonged to him now, so it shouldn’t matter if he gets greedy.

“Sylus?” 

He stops his hand mid-air before it could reach you. “Your voice is hoarse.” 

“Gee, I wonder why.” 

He gets up from the bed, stretching his wings. “Don’t pout. I’ll make it up to you.”

“Will you?”

He smiles. “A dragon never goes back on his word.” 

He leads you to the cave’s entrance and gestures towards the black castle below. “At the foot of this mountain is Tarus City. It’s considered the lowliest of all the cities here. But its markets have a lot of interesting things. Perhaps you will even find an object that can meet your impossible standards.”

He offers you his hand and you hold it without hesitation. He stares at your fingers, small and fragile next to his claws. This is not the hand of a fighter. If he applies just a little bit more pressure, the bones would break like eggshells. He could have never imagined something so delicate would willingly approach him.

“I’m assuming that your kind cannot fly,” he says.

“You would be correct,” you reply, already knowing what he is planning as he bends over and scoops you into his arms. 

“Better hold on tight then.”

His bat-like wings spread to their full length and push the two of you upward. 

This scene feels exactly like a CG scene from an otome game, or even a shoujo manga, where the darling female lead wraps her arms around the male lead. But you keep your hands to yourself as Sylus soars across the moonlit night. 

“You’re stiff. Got nothing smart to say?” He asks.

That steady gaze of yours remains on him. “I’m admiring the view.”

“I caught you doing the same thing while I slept. Will you get tired of it?”

“I don’t think that’s physically possible.”

“Normally, people would be admiring the scenery below. It’s not everyday a human can live like a bird.”

“I don’t need it.” This world is lovely, without a doubt, but whatever is below you is nothing compared to Sylus’s face which could be part of the Seven Wonders. Besides, you want to ingrain every one of his pores into your memory. 

“We’re here.” He slows down and drops a few meters away from the city entrance.

You make no effort to hide your disappointment as he sets you on the ground. 

“Did you enjoy being held by me that much?”

“Why ask when you already know the answer.” You then let out an exaggerated, playful sigh.

“Now, now. There are plenty of chances to hold each other in the future.” 

“Sure, sure.” You shrug and then realize something. “Oh, wait–my clothes…”

“Don’t fret, you may end up getting some strange looks but ultimately, the citizens here have their own problems to worry about. They can’t afford to be nosy about a harmless thing like you.”

“Fair enough. Let’s go then.” 

The city was designed after the word “gloom,” with a silent dread perpetually hanging over every person you pass. This place is like Gotham in medieval times. 

“Your eyes are sparkling,” Sylus notes, amused at how your head swings back and forth with childlike vigor.

A normal NPC would be affected by this darkness, but not you. You find yourself wishing you had a working phone so you could take pictures. A true, obnoxious tourist. 

“In my world, this type of trip wasn’t affordable to me. And even if I had the money, going on alone would’ve made me too stressed to enjoy myself.”

“Is that so?”

You rub your palms together as you admire the iron lamp post that lined the streets. “Yeah, and I would have never gotten an opportunity like this in the past.” You turn to him, beaming uncontrollably. “So thank you, Sylus.” 

Sylus stops walking. 

You stop too. “What is it?”

He touches his chest and opens his mouth, but no words escape. He narrows his eyes, but not at you.

“Sylus?”

He lets his arm drop to his side as he looks up at the sky. “It’s nothing.” 

You silently watch him, your own face blank, then you grin. This time, your smile is subdued. “All right.”

He holds out his hand. You put yours on top and he places a pouch of coins on it. 

“Feel free to look around. I have some business to attend to, it won’t be long and if you need me, just call my name. I’ll come to you, no matter what.”

“Okay.”

You watch him walk away, disappearing in the shadows. You let out a breath, the cold air fogging in front of you. “‘Nothing,’ huh.” You didn’t think it would happen so fast. 

Whatever.

Deciding to do as you promised, you approach some of the stalls. You haven’t eaten anything since that pack of Pocky and since you would rather not touch the meat here, you opted for the pastries. 

As you sit on a bench chewing your second pretzel, an elderly woman dressed in a black hooded robe wobbles towards you. She points an accusatory finger. “You… you are not of this world.”

Oh?

You continue to eat, ignoring her.

“You shouldn’t be here. You need to leave!” With a burst of energy, she rushes forward and clamps her hands over your shoulders, knocking the pretzel away from you.

You don’t fight back though. You keep your expression unreadable and let her ramble.

“It doesn’t want you here. You need to leave. You will doom us all…and you will die!”

“Everyone dies, though, granny. And you may end up going before me.”

She seems taken aback by your apathy. Her shock then morphs into rage. “I’m warning you! If you’re not careful, you will get killed!”

It is your turn to grab her–you hold her fingers tightly and lean forward. “Really? How does it happen? More importantly, who gets to kill me? Are their eyes as gorgeous as polished rubies? If not, then can you tell me how to get that person to kill me? I have no interest in getting murdered by anybody but him.” Your questions come after another in rapid succession.

“Answer me, granny, who kills me?” 

The old woman’s legs shook and you let go. With a sigh, you retreat. “I didn’t mean to scare you, ma’am, but you should be careful when telling people about their destiny.”

“Granny!” Two little boys run towards the shaking old woman. “So you were here, mother has been looking everywhere for you.”

One of the boys bow to you. “We’re so sorry if she offended you in some way. She’s sick so please pardon her.”

You wave them off. “Apologies are not needed, but you should keep a close eye on her.”

“We will…” The boys move to help their granny walk.

“Wait.” You pick up the bag full of pastries and give it to the boy. It isn’t just the granny, all three of them are frail enough to be knocked down by a faint breeze. 

“But…”

“Just take it.”

“T-thank you!”

Picking up your other purchases, you go to find a different place to wait for Sylus. You feel bad for picking on an old lady, but you wanted to see if she were an authentic fortune teller. To be honest, the information you’ve gathered can only result in an inconclusive answer because this whole “reality” could not be trusted. Still, it is better to lean into caution. 

You hold your chin. That woman saying that you are “not of this world” is too specific, but this place co-exists with different species and acknowledges the existence of a metaphysical plane like the Abyss, so there is a chance that she saw your abnormal clothes and thought you were a non-human similar to Sylus. The statement doesn’t necessarily have to refer to a different reality.

It doesn’t want you here. 

It. 

“Killed, not die…” This is quite the pickle. “...killed…not die.”

Hm.

Hmmmmm…

You have decided. 

“This is tomorrow’s problem.” You wish your future self good luck because you don't care anymore.

Before you can stand, a shady-looking man stumbled towards you, eyes glossed over and posture uneven. A drunk. “Haven’t seen you here before.”

You grab your things. 

“Hey now, no need for that, I just want to… want to talk with you.”

He is a malnourished drunk so you could probably push him away, but it’s always better to avoid a confrontation. 

“Hey… hey! Don’t ignore me!” He lunges forward, but is blocked by a solid wall forming between the two of you. No, not a wall.

Sylus stands in front of you. “Did you need something from my companion?”

“Huh? Who the hell are you? Don’t get in the way of our fun!” He throws a punch but your dragon dissolves his fist up to his elbow.

“Um, Sylus…” You tap your savior’s shoulder. 

“Do me a favor and turn around and cover your ears, puppy. I don’t think I have the right mind to be clean about this.”

“Well, sure, but before that, I have a request. Please don’t kill him.”

He glances over to you. “You can’t be serious. If you could see and hear the… filth that he was planning to do to you…” His right eye glows dangerously. “I cannot possibly leave this garbage alone.”

“Leave? All I want is for you to keep him alive.”

Sylus pauses. “You mean–”

“–think of it as a personal request, but if you really want to kill him I won’t hold it against you.” 

You are a person from the 21st century. It would be difficult to continue knowing someone died because they were related to you in some way. You are fine with them being barely alive though. 

You then turn around and cover your ears. You have to hum and whisper-sing random songs to distract yourself. Even if you were happy to vote for torture, that doesn’t mean you could stomach the sound of a living creature screaming in agony. 

“...making my way downtown walking fast and I’m homebound–ah.” Something warm and fluffy ends up on your shoulders. 

“It’s done,” Sylus says, adjusting the cloak. “He’s still alive. The amputation was successful, all five of them.”

“Good to know–hey!” 

He uses his body to block you from taking a glimpse of the carnage. The smell of rust and urine permeates the air.

“It’s an ugly sight.”

“...All right.”

“Are you not going to fight me on this?”

“It’s sweet that you remembered that I don’t like gore. I’ll trust your judgment.” Reading and watching records of criminal cases is a different experience from a real life slaughter. 

“I thought I told you to call for me if you encountered trouble.” He secures the gold clasp of the cloak around your neck. 

“Yes, but you arrived before I got the chance to scream. I appreciate the assist.”

He shakes his head lightly and pulls the hood over your head. “Your composure is astounding.”

“I hope your business meeting or errand went well.”

He hums in response before pinning a brooch on the left breast of your new coat. 

You examine the shimmering accessory. “I’ve never seen red thorn apples before.” The primary florals are made with garnets framed by gold leaves and complemented by tiny dots of diamonds that resembled tuberose flowers.[2]

“Is it too gaudy?”

You laugh softly at his pettiness and caress the wine-red blossom. “Not at all. It’s beautiful.” You hope your customer service smile would be enough to trick him.

“Not as beautiful as my ‘polished ruby’ eyes, I hope.”

“You heard that, huh.” 

“I think the whole market heard the commotion you made.”

“It was more of a kerfuffle.” 

He quirks his brow.

“It wasn’t a big deal. I wanted to teach her about manners, but now I’m starting to feel guilty.” You then dramatically draw circles on your belly.

He grins and offers his hand. “Come. I’ll treat you to something delicious.”

“I refuse to eat Wanderer’s meat.” You put your hand in his. If he fed it to you then maybe you would consider partaking in technical cannibalism. 

He cocks his head to the side. “You are impossible to please.”

“Really? I’d say I’m quite low maintenance.” You surprise yourself every time you say such lines. It is getting ridiculously easy to spout out these half-truths.

Important author’s notes:  [1] The Little Prince is a novella by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. If you haven’t read it, I suggest giving it a try. The book explores the innocence of youth, loneliness and isolation, human relationships and the responsibilities and vulnerability that come with these relationships.  Why does Y/N carry a pocket-sized copy with them to work? Speaking from personal experience, I like to have a good, comforting book with me when I feel sad. A security blanket of sorts.

[2] Thorn apples: Datura stramonium. Other common names are devil's trumpets, moonflowers and jimsonweed. In floriography, they mean “I dreamed of thee.” In the right doses, this plant can be used in treating various ailments. However, it has hallucinogenic properties.  Tuberose: Agave amica. An expensive blossom that is used in perfume-making. These flowers can mean “dangerous pleasures.” References: Floriography - the language of Flowers. Flowers by Flourish. (2015, January 27). https://www.flowersbyflourish.com/floriography/  

Fun fact, according to a post on the LoveAndDeepspace subreddit, the flowers present in the Sylus: Abyssal Blossom card are most likely thorn apples. The original poster (OP) makes a lot of good points. You can read it here.  

@phisen @leryg0 @capribun @sinnamon-bunn @wegottastayfocus @erisnxxi @syyyy4ever @limerenceisserenity

Thank you to everyone taking the time to comment. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Part 5: here Masterlist: here

[callieisto]

☆ Kinktober Day 3: Threesome! ☆

(fem!reader)

It was very hard to sway your boys away from something they wanted. Or a promise they made.

Unfortunately, this happened to be both of those things.

While they had been away on a mission, you'd made the mistake of expressing that you felt ugly over a call, and the two of them had immediately threatened to come home and fuck some sense into you. (Not an empty threat by any means- you still owed Kory and Bizzaro an apology for Jason running off in the middle of a mission the last time this had happened. And you should probably send Dick a card and some fruit- he's still in the hospital because Roy bailed on him.)

You'd managed to convince them to stay for the rest of the expedition, but you didn't manage to get off scott-free. Which is how you ended up sandwiched between your boyfriends, who were maliciously reminding you of how much they loved you- and your body. Especially your pussy.

"R-Roy," you whimper, a keening sound. Jason snorts and spreads your legs more, so Roy can continue licking at you slowly, languidly. "Roy- R-Roy, 'm sensitive!"

Jason's got you pressed up against his back, thick thighs bracketing yours. He's still in his boxers- somehow- but you're completely naked, squirming as Roy eats you out. Over and over and over again. "Aww, honey girl." Roy cooed breathlessly, pulling back to lick his lips and watch your muscles twitch under Jason's hands. "You can take it, huh? I know you can."

Jason kisses your cheek as his hands move to settle over your stomach, pulling you closer to his chest. "Mmm, he's being mean, isn't he, angel?" He teased, a rumbling laugh escaping him. "Does our baby want something inside her, huh?"

You whine in embarrassment, eyes squeezing closed as Roy leans in, kissing between your boobs, biting down softly and leaving little marks as he moved up to your neck. "Please," you manage to warble out. "Please fuck me."

That's all it takes, really. Jason and Roy may be physically strong, but when it comes to you, they're the weakest men in the world. Roy greedily takes you from Jason, who shuffles up the bed to take his boxers off and toss them somewhere near where the vague shape of other clothes are. He'll complain about how he can't find them later, but right now he has a one-track mind.

Roy spins you around and presses his cock against your ass, peppering your shoulders with sweet kisses even as he bends you at the waist so you're eye-level with Jason's dick. "So perfect." Roy breathes, hand smoothing up and down your spine. "God, baby, you're so perfect. I would die if you were any more beautiful."

Jason nods in agreement, biting his lip as you slowly drag your tongue up from his balls to his tip. He groans softly, hand carding through your hair. "Such a perfect angel," he breathes, guiding you down to take his tip into his mouth. You suck on it, looking up at him with soft eyes, and it takes everything in him not to cum immediately. "Our good girl, huh?"

You nod, a muffled "Yes" escaping around his dick.

Roy groans as he sinks into you, biting his lip as he watches you swallow Jason's cock into your mouth. He likes the way you whimper when he pushes in, likes the way you sound with dick in your mouth and another one stuffing your cunt. "God," He chokes out, voice hoarse. "Fuck, could never get enough of this pretty fucking pussy."

And he starts to move.

The world melts away. It's only you, Jason, Roy, and the softness of the bed beneath you.

Jason is panting and whining and bucking into your mouth, his pretty face flushed red, all high on his cheekbones. He cums in your mouth with a low growl when you swallow him to the base, then gag softly. He pulls you off when he's soft, the most love-dumb look in his eyes as you blink blearily.

"So pretty." Jason whispers weakly, his free hand thumbing away some cum at the corner of your mouth. You're too far gone to string together any semblance of words, let alone sentences. He brushes your hair from your sweaty forehead.

And then Roy takes the back of your head and presses it into the mattress, fucking you harder, his other hand coming around your hip to rub circles into your clit. You writhe and moan beneath him, face squished into the comforter beneath you. Somewhere above you, Jason and Roy are spouting praise, hands are smoothing up and down your spine, little kisses are dancing across your skin. You cum with a trembling whine and Roy groans, "Fuck, that's it," as you spasm around him.

He thrusts once, twice, and then he pulls out, his cum splattering over your ass as he jerks himself to completion.

Jason tugs you up to rest against his chest, your cheek pressed against his collarbone as he soothingly kisses your face. "Did so good, pretty girl." He whispered.

Roy snuggled up to the two of you, resting his head on Jason's thigh and his hand on your hip. "So good," he agreed weakly.

Later, the three of you would get in the shower and wash off- Jason would eat you out one more time, just for good measure- and then the bed would creak under the weight of three bodies. Asleep. Cuddled together.

But right now? A nap sounds like a really good idea, as Jason demonstrates by promptly falling asleep with his head resting atop yours.

☆ taglist!

@adhd-introvert

[tarotbydelilah444]

pac: your first night with your future spouse

hi guys! I am back with another pac reading. I am super grateful for 700+ followers and wanted to give you guys a quick and spicy pac reading as a thank you. anyways I hope you all enjoy and as always sending you love & light.

- Delilah 🤍

P1 : ace of cups + nine of pentacles + eight of swords + the wheel

I pick up that your future spouse wants to spoil you and satisfy your every want, need, and desire on your first night together. There is a profound love that the two of you have for one another, you and your person share a past life connection which explains why there is a strong and magnetic chemistry brewing between you and your person on your first night. Your person absolutely values, adores, and respects you deeply and they want to shower you in all their love in a romantic, and obviously in a sexual sense. There is a sense of impatience that is coming from your partner, but it mostly because they want you so badly, but will try their best to restrain themselves and be gentle with you. This may be someone’s first time, or your person just want to ensure that you are comfortable and take their sweet and precious time to explore every inch of you. There will be a lot of intense eye contact going on between you and your fp, staring into each other’s soul the entire time. This is definitely a weakness for both of you because I see that both of you will be aroused the entire time from the level of intensity and sexual tension present in that moment. The sex will begin with an intermission, so expect lots of sweet and tender kisses all over each others’ body. you and your future spouse will take turns tasting each others plentiful juices that will have you screaming, moaning, crying, and cursing their name from all the pleasure that they are giving you and vice versa (they will be so turned on by this and how wet/ hard you get for them). Your person may also desire to give you backshots as well. The sex will be sensual and slow, yet very tender & passionate. Like I stated previously, your person wants to take their time exploring every inch of you, so be prepared for a long night of lovemaking. This is more than just a night of passion for your person, they want to merge with you, as they want your souls to be intertwined in this moment and forever. They truly do love you and want to satisfy you, not only a physical level, but a metaphysical level. They will want to see everything, they want you to bare yourself to them and they will do the same. They will be very attentive to you, making sure you feel comfortable and satisfied at the same damn time, often paying attention to your facial expressions, body language, movement, and noises you make as they rock your world. It will definitely be an emotional experience for the both of you, but specifically for you in a good way. For some, you and your fp first night together may occur in or near a body of water (shower, bath, pool, hot tub, rain, ocean, beach, etc). I see you and your person being unable to keep your hands to yourself, so you can definitely expect to go for a couple more rounds in every position conceivably possible that could may lead to the two of you conceiving, or until you both collapse in each others arms from all the sweet and pleasurable love-making.

extra messages: March, summertime, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Libra, Virgo, Taurus, 7th house, 2nd house, and 6th house, in my feelings, August, very soon, “ I don’t care if we get caught” 

channeled songs :

P2: five of swords + queen of pentacles + the world + nine of swords + two of cups 

Okay… so there is a need for someone to release their inhibitions, this could be either you or your future spouse. Someone could be afraid to allow themselves to be free when it comes to sex even though there is a burning desire that burns inside of you for your person or vice versa (apply it as you see fit). Your person wants you to fully surrender yourself to them and trust that they won’t hurt you and that you are safe with them. They want you to feel comfortable and confident in yourself to allow yourself the right to pleasure, but that can only happen with trust and vulnerability. I’m picking up that some of you may deal with insecurities when it comes to your body or even when it comes to the topic of sex. You may even be worried that your future spouse will judge you or that you won’t satisfy them, but I feel like some of these doubts are in your head (not to discredit your feelings), but I think you will be so in your head about your first night with them. Let me gas you up, your future spouse is even privileged to be in your presence and they will love every single thing about you and will reassure you that you are the most stunning woman that they have and will always love. Your person doesn’t judge nor will they criticize you, they love and respect you so much regardless of what you say or think about yourself. You are everything and more to this person and they would be more than honored if you allow them to show you exactly how loved and absolutely appealing you are to them. For others, I feel like some of you could feel too overwhelmed or shy to initiate your true desires to your person, yet I can sense that your person can sense this and will want to encourage you to step outside of your coyness and lay your burdens down. They know that deep down you are a freak, even though you come off as modest when you in these streets. If your partner is artsy, I see them wanting to paint you nude as their muse. The purpose is for you to see what they see from their perspective and to at least help ease your anxiety and worry. I’m also seeing a private show as well, so maybe your person might want you to dance for them and tease each other slipping each other clothes off one by one. Your person will be in awe of your body, like they see it as a masterpiece and work of art. It’s so appealing to them that they are almost eager to touch and kiss all over your beautiful body to make you forget all about your insecurities and worries. Your fp touches on your body will ignite all the hidden passions and desires you have been keeping locked away, it almost as if their touch has an intoxicating and powerful effect on your body, awakening it after a long hibernation. For some, your future spouse is more experienced than you in sex, so they will know exactly what they are doing in the bedroom and know exactly how to work your body (your person is packing) and want you to sit back and enjoy the pleasure. They will be very tender and intentional on how they touch you, so touching you in all the right places that will guarantee to make you weak and thirsty for more. They will lay you down and be nice, slow, and gentle with you, giving you sweet and passionate kisses, and talking you through the entire experience (giving words of encouragement) as they ease in and out of you. They love to hear you moan and coming undone as they pleasure you. Your person is most concern with your needs, as they want you to enjoy this moment to the fullest and let it all out, literally. By the end, you and your person may climax at the same time, this person may finish inside of you, they desire to have/build a family with you right away because they love you so much. Your person may even profess “I love you” or how much they love you during sex. This will definitely be a healing and transformative experience for you in a good way. I see that you will finally feel so free and pleased after sex with your person. You will feel like you are in a daze or you are in some type of trance after your first night with your person. 

extra messages: Mea Culpa (movie), August, Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio, Taurus, Capricorn, Virgo, Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, springtime, June, birthday, next year, healer, creativity, honeymoon, self-sabotage, crown chakra (enlightenment), nothing was the same, “don’t run from me” 

channeled songs:

P3: the tower + the devil + six of cups + ace of wands + the star + three of cups

The first half of this reading will be about the dynamic of your relationship with your future spouse. This reading is timeless. For those who choose this pile, your future spouse might be your current person or if you have recently reconciled with a love interest, this may be confirmation that this is the person that you will likely marry, so take it if it resonates. You and your future spouse could be twin flames, since I am seeing divine feminine and divine masculine energy in the reading. The love between the two of you is very strong and intense because the two of you mirror each other, the best parts and the worst parts of each other. You and your spouse are/were brought together in this lifetime to learn lessons and work through any issues that are presently affecting your connection which could explain why you and this person keep finding your way back to each other even after you have parted ways. I sense there is a runner and chaser dynamic between you and your person that will continue until the two are able to face  and heal your own insecurities, traumas, and inner struggles to enjoy a loving and healthy union. One of you want to embrace the connection in all it’s entirety, and the other is choosing to run away and self-sabotage out of fear because they aren’t ready to accept and face themselves to be ready for this union, even though they love you and cannot deny the intensity this connection brings. There is or will be a period of separation between you and your person, but it will be very important for you both and for the betterment of the connection. It will allow the two of you to evolve and heal independently to come together to build a stronger and loving  relationship, if both parties accept this connection in its entirety. The first night together will be hot, steamy, passionate, and raw to say the least. The sexual tension between you and your future spouse is so undeniably powerful that it will be hard for your person to resist themselves. I see black lingerie, so for some, you will be wearing lingerie and putting on a little show for them and this will immediately send them overboard and into a sex-crazed frenzy. Your fs will be exploding with lust that they have tried so tirelessly to tame and resist for so long and it will be evidently impossible for them to continue to resist the temptation to just tear your clothes off and end it all. Your future spouse has been waiting quite some time to have access to your body that they often fantasized all the things they want to do to you, whenever the opportunity presented itself. They fantasize about making you submit yourself to them. They want to taste you over and over again until you scream their name. They want to leave passion marks all over your body to show everyone that you are solely theirs and theirs alone. They want to tie you up and show you who’s in control. I sense that your person kept these fantasies to themselves because they didn’t want to scare you or mislead you to think that “sex” was the only thing they wanted from you, but now that they have the chance, they are ready to unleash their inner beast. For some, this may not be you and this person “first night” together, so maybe you and this person were intimate in the past, but this time will be different, it will definitely be better than the first time. Mind-blowing is the best word to describe your first night together. The sex between you and your person will be so much intenser, passionate, spiritual, emotional, and loving all at once. I see a lot of roughhousing, riding, long penetrative strokes, fondling, and fingering until you both come undone. You and your person could definitely experience a Kundalini awakening as you climax in unison. The first night together will definitely be a healing and transformative experience for you and your future spouse, that will only bring you closer together to never be broken again.  channeled songs :

extra messages: June, October, 666, 10th house, 6th house, throat chakra, “ I like you,” September, February, solar plexus chakra, summertime, Taurus, November, divine masculine, player, Cancer, Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn, Scorpio, Aries, pregnancy, “nobody compares to you,” worn out

[im-not-a-ghost]

Who is your future spouse?

I'll be trying to get significant details about your spouse using 3 different decks. I'm not asking any specific question about looks or personality but rather just letting spirit guide us towards any detail they deem worthy of our attention. As this is a general reading, you may not resonate with every single detail but the general picture or overall vibe may speak to you to some level. For once, I decided to do 4 groups instead of 3.

Group 1

"I see grace and possibility in all of life's challenges." "There's no such thing as mistakes. Everything happens in divine order. I am being guided to learn and grow." "I accept the gifts I've been given as a high service to the world."

White Numen tarot : Queen of cups, 5 of swords, The Fool, knight of pentacles, 6 of cups

I don't care oracle : Take care of yourself, Close your curtains close your eyes sleep, Got a drink? Cheers! , Box with the pillow

Starting with the image you picked, I'm getting a strong message of using music and art in general as a form of escapism but also a mean of harmless self expression. Your FS may be struggling with a sense of loneliness that they are fighting off through a strong interest in any form of artistic expression. The bunny makes me think of innocence and creativity. The fact that it's a plushy makes me think of childhood and frailty. This passion that they have is something that stems from childhood and that has allowed them to hold on through hard times. I can't help but to be reminded of Stray Kids Lee Know when I look at this image. So maybe your FS has a similar personality or background to Lee Know's. Your FS could be a Kpop enthusiast. They could be an artist or enjoy doing art as their hobby. They are a rather sensitive and soft individual. They have a very comforting presence. There's a sadness to them that feels a little bittersweet.

They've been through a lot, not only romantic wise but also just on a personal level. Despite everything they've been through, they still have a lot of faith in the Universe and in mankind. With time, they've chosen to see their struggles as opportunities for growth and to cherish every experience that they get to live, even though some of them are uncomfortable because they're aware that in everything lies a blessing in disguise. They are very spiritual and they have a strong mindset gained through years of pain and struggle. They're an old soul and chances are that they have a lot of interesting stories to tell about their past.

Speaking of the past, you may share several past lives with this person. If you don't believe in this concept, you just may feel like you've known this person before when you've just barely met because they are so genuine and empathetic that it feels like they know you at your very core. For some of you, they could be a childhood friend. This person could also work with children or just be very popular with babies and kids. Another thing I am picking up on is that though this person is very mature and has gone through a lot, they look very innocent and youthful. Many people underestimate this person's age because of how childlike they may appear physically. Like, their skin is very soft and supple, they have no grey hair nor do they have wrinkles, they may be quite petite compared to other people of their age.

They've struggled with their mental health quite a lot. They're constantly thinking and bickering with their own self. They may be neurodivergent or struggle with a form of mental disorder. Another thing is that they have a very striking effect on people because they're hard to grasp. Their personality and the way they show up is so unique that they can't be categorized, "put into a box". This person just takes pride in not fitting, not conforming to any standard or norm. They don't like to be trapped in outdated perceptions of life and society. They are very protective of their freedom of expression. So chances are they have a very particular sense of style, a very specific way of expressing themselves in public, a particular posture that makes them stand out from other people. Like for example, they're the only person in their family that doesn't conform to gender norms. Actually I feel like the notion of gender isn't relevent to this person. However, they appear as quite feminine in their energy.

One thing that is very striking about them is how detached about material life they are. They do not care about possessions, wealth. This person is very generous and humble. They could give away their own clothes on a whim just to help someone else, buy a random person a meal just for the sake of making a good deed. They do random acts of kindness, not just with people they know but with anyone they come across. They give to charities, they leave food on the street for the homeless or for stray animals,they share important information on their socials in case it may be useful to someone. They're just really selfless. The reason behind that is because this person comes from a rather "poor" background. They know what it's like to be lacking something and they believe that any good deed done will come back to them. They have this mentality of not doing to others what they wouldn't appreciate themselves. So they're definitely not the kind to look down on other people or to hate on others.

This generosity can also be shown in their emotions and how they express themselves. They do not shy away from telling people they love them. They are very demonstrative and openly communicate their feelings, even though it makes them vulnerable. They wear their heart on their sleeve. They're incapable of lying. In connections, this person pours their heart out and they give their all. They're incredibly loving, kind, compassionate and patient. They show a lot of empathy and understanding towards others but they tend to be extremely harsh on themselves.

They struggle with a lot of anger issues as well as overthinking. They tend to burn themselves out thinking and worrying about others, helping other people to the detriment of their own health. They're in desperate need of love and rest and they have a hard time slowing down to focus on themselves. This person is not used to receiving and giving themselves the love that they willingly and selflessly give to others.

They're a cat lover. They may or may not own a pet cat. They have a cat like personality. They're more of an introvert but they tend to put on an extrovert façade to please others, especially their family and friends.

This person can be quite easily sociable with people however there aren't many people that they feel close to. In social settings, they tend to stay aside and only interact with the crowd here and there, out of politeness. They may struggle with the feeling of not belonging. They may feel like they do not fit in because of their unique sense of self and their strong morals. Again, I get strong neurodivergent vibes from this person but I also get a theme of cultural differences. This person may have grown in an environment where only a specific demographic was represented and they were the only source of diversity. Now that could mean all kinds of things but to give you an example maybe they grew up in a city where most people had fair skin and they were the only child with a different skin color. Or like maybe when they were a kid they were the only boy/girl when all the other kids were of the opposite biological sex.

Speaking of cultural differences, at the beginning of your reading, I had the impression that they lived in a different country than yours and that feeling is further confirmed with the spread. They could possibly have a similar background to yours but the only difference is that they grew up in a different setting. Like for instance, imagine two people that are both of European descent but one of them grew up in Spain while the other spent on the other side of the globe for some reason. Another thing I was picking up on was two people being born from two different ethnicities. So I feel like you and your future spouse will have a lot in common in the sense that you may have been through similar hardships in your life though you come from completely different areas of the globe. You could bond over things like : being the "black sheep" of the family, being the "generational curse breaker", being the "weird child" or the "rebellious child", being bullied in school because of your looks/sexual preferences/culture/religion or any form of difference that made you stand out, feeling like you don't belong, wanting to be someone else or somewhere else, feeling like you're not from this planet, having a weird interest in astrology and space facts, believing in ghosts and/or UFOs.

Group 2

"I communicate with ease and grace. People are willing to embrace what I have to say." "I welcome healthy, loving relationships." "I celebrate my progress. Awareness, not perfection, is the goal."

White Numen tarot : The Magician, 8 of wands, Queen of cups, King of wands, Ace of cups

I don't care oracle : Sorry not sorry, Spread the love, Yes! , Smile smile more even more!, You are not your emotions

This person is very chatty and an excellent communicator. They have a very eloquent speech and a beautiful voice that may be envied by many. They enjoy singing and whistling. They can easily talk anyone through anything. They have a bit of a snake charmer vibe. They're a smooth talker and many times got out of trouble because of that. They have a fascination for birds and/or their nickname revolves around a bird. I'm thinking of Woody Woodpecker, Tweety, Daffy and Donald Duck, Zazu, Iago. Like either that or they are named after a bird or compared to a specific bird. Specifically, there are peacock feathers depicted on the relationships card from the Spirit Junkie oracle. So peacocks could be relevant to this connection somehow. Either they get compared to a peacock because they tend to show off around potential partners or because they have a really flamboyant nature and attidude. They also could be compared to parots or phoenix.

This person exudes a lot of masculine energy. They may be depicted by other people as a playboy/playgirl, as a macho if they're perceived as a man or if they're perceived as a woman their feminism may not be well perceived by their peers. I feel like they get a lot of backlash from others and get wrongly accused of being so many things because of how unapologetically themselves they are. This person has a lot of self confidence and they have strong values. They draw a lot of attention but also a lot of envy and jealousy. They may be in the public eye.

They are extremely harsh with themselves and have perfectionist tendencies. They're a workaholic. They're extremely prideful and take a lot of pride in their accomplishments, especially on a professional level. They are the type to never regret a choice they make, even though people do not share their opinion on the matter because once they've set their mind on something it is very hard for them to change their perspective. They are incredibly stubborn but also incredibly resilient.

They are very popular and sociable, however they just don't let anybody in their close circle. This person has strong boundaries and they do not hold their tongue. They've put themselves in trouble more times than they can count because of their blunt approach. People around them may say that they are haughty or that they have no respect for their elders, that they do not take criticism well or that they are full of themselves. But the truth is this person is just very protective of their own space and they were raised in a background that taught them to always speak their mind when something doesn't feel right. They cannot stand injustice and you can be sure that this person will always stand up for what is right, no matter their differences with the people involved.

They have climbed the ladders of society through their hard work. They "came from nothing" and "became somebody" because of how dedicated they were to their craft. This earned them a lot of respect but also a lot of advantages and money. This person is now wealthy and leaving very comfortably but this wasn't the case when they were a child. They became so succesful that they may now be their own boss. They earned enough money to be able to open their own business or work independantly. If this person is an artist for instance, they fund their own work with their own money. They may own their own label or they're just a solo artist because they've gained enough of an audience and enough resources to be able to do so. This is just one example among many. They could be working freelance on different projects or own a brand of some sort. It could be anything really. If not that, then they have a higher status within their work environment compared to when they started.

For most of you, I feel like your FS is older than you. There's a stark contrast between you not only because of your age but also because of your maturity and life experience. I feel like you would be very intimidated by this person at first but also, because of everything I mentioned before, you may start off with a bad impression of them because of how other people depict them or gossip you may have heard. You could start off as rivals or "ennemies" so to speak. Also, I get the feeling that when you first meet them, you will think that they are disinterested in you or that they don't like you.

Despite their intimidating façade, this person is actually incredibly kind and loving. They are very sweet and sensitive, but they don't show that aspect of themselves to a lot of people. They have huge trust issues and they struggle with intimacy. They are hyper independant and they tend to repress their emotions, especially their sadness, through humor. They're the type of person that will act like a clown and make jokes to distract themselves and others from the fact that they are not okay. If you talk with this person and start to get deep by bringing up intimate subjects, they are likely to swiftly change the subject or disguise the truth by joking around. They may exagerate certain traits to make themselves appear stronger or cooler and take away the vulnerable aspects of the story. Let's say this person got into a fight and was hurt in the process. Maybe the true reason why they got into this fight was because they were drunk after breaking up with their past lover and a person's attitude didn't sit right with them in that specific setting. When they tell you the story, they may omit the fact they were at their lowest and emphasize how brave they were to stand up and interfere because a person twice their size was bothering another customer. That kind of thing.

This person has a problem with expressing their feminine side and showing emotion. They do not talk about themselves much or if they do, they always make sure it isn't too personal. They tend to mask a lot of their pain, a lot of their fears. They hide behind a mask to cover up for the fact that they are in truth really sensitive and insecure about themselves. I get the message that this person struggles with their feminine side because of a masculine figure in their life. Growing up, they were taught that they shouldn't cry or let people see their "weakness". They were taught that showing affection wasn't safe. They were criticized for their soft nature and had to become tougher with time to be able to make it through. Again, I get a neurodivergent vibe from this person, which is similar to group 1. Maybe you felt drawn to that group as well.

They are very passionate and invested in whatever is going on around them. I feel like they are very active political wise and that ties down to their issues with injustice. This person either does a lot of community work or advocates for a lot of causes. They may use their influence and means of communication to raise awareness around certain subjects. I'm specifically picking up on mental health issues and struggles surrounding one's body image, speaking up against racism, bullying, sexual harassment at work. They have a lot of love to give and a sensitive side to them that they don't get to express very often but when they are in such setting that is when they can truly be themselves and wear their heart on their sleeve. You may see this person's gaze light up when they talk about subjects that interest them, things that are dear to their heart. I see this person doing a lot of random acts of kindness but on the lowkey. Things that would go unnoticed or that wouldn't seem that grand but that actually matters. Like putting flowers on someone's grave even though they didn't know them as a proof that someone cares about their passing. Leaving anonymous positive notes in books that they borrow from the library so that the next person is comforted and knows that they matter. Silently watching over children on the streets to ensure that they are safe and no one bothers them. Taking away an object that may be a source of danger for others. Giving away personal belongings by living them in random spots for other people to find them. Pretending like they're clumsy to get two people that like each other to be physically closer in the hopes that it will get things started.

I feel like this person's main love language is acts of services but sometimes they may also express their love in funny/quirky ways or unusual ways. Here are some specific things I am picking up on : making a list of all the things you like so that they know what to do when you feel down or how to surprise you on a specific event, using your go-to words or catch phrases on you to make you smile or laugh, taking interest in the things you like and trying them out to the point of being very specific about it and knowing every detail of it so you don't feel like you're alone and they can better understand you even if it makes them uncomfortable, including you in the things they do by leaving very specific tasks up to you even though they are perfectly capable of doing it on their own because they know it makes you happy, anticipating your needs in ways you wouldn't expect by keeping certain tools or products in close vicinity just in case, mimicking your stance/ your walking pace or any trait that you may be feeling insecure about so that you feel less insecure about it, making sure that you are not being left out during any social interaction and bringing the focus back to you in case you were interupted, countering your every self criticism with a reason why that exact thing is actually a good thing, expressing their opinion of you and how they feel for you in indirect ways by talking about things you remind them of (characters in movies, songs, things that are meaningful to them like a loved one for instance).

Looking at the picture you picked, I get the message that this person values beauty and the aesthetic of things and people. They give a lot of importance to appearances. They could be into home decor and interior design. They could also be into fashion. They may collect a lot of objects because of their aspect. Especially statues, paintings, traditional objects from different countries, floral ornaments. They like scented candles and incense. There is a specific flower that this person likes or they could have been named after a flower. Or they could be born on Flower Day (May 20), Rose Day (February 7), Valentine's Day (February 14), Yellow rose day (May 14 in Korea). Or overall as most flowers bloom during Spring, this season may be their favorite or may have some significance to your connection. I'm not sure what the flower on the picture is, but its shape and color reminded me of blue Hydrangeas.

Group 3

"I release my need to be right. I am defenseless and at peace." "When I lead from a place of love people respect me." " I bring peace wherever I go." White Numen Tarot : Magician, queen of wands, Judgement, Sun, 3 of swords

I don't care oracle : Close your curtains close your eyes sleep, Stop doing so much, Infinity x Infinity , I'm not okay, I am always a child

This person loves animals. They are very popular with animals. They may want to own a pet but they may be allergic to pet fur or they just don't have the opportunity to have one because of their lifestyle. They can both embody a cat like and a puppy like energy. They are very balanced and can both embody feminine and masculine energy very well because they've done a lot of shadow work.

They grew up in an abusive household and/or have dealt with a lot of abuse in their life. This lead them to becoming "mature" too soon for their age. They had to parent themselves and now as an adult they may be described as immature by others because they didn't have the opportunity to do what other children usually do growing up. They had to deal with many responsibilities very early on in their life, either because their parents didn't show up the way they should have or because they left home pretty early on for various reasons. Because of that, they have a hard time letting go of the need to control and asking for help.

One of the ways this person copes with whatever issues they have is by being active. They have a lot of various interests and they look like they never rest. This person's schedule is packed and timed perfectly. They always got something to do, someone to talk to, something to work on. They may struggle with insomnia. One of the reasons why they keep themselves so busy is to cover up for the fact that they feel lonely and scared on their own.

This person looks for meaningful and deep connections. When they feel comfortable with people, they can rant for days about the things that they like and be very quirky but if they do not have a good impression of you they'll remain as cold as an iceberg and you'll never get to see their depth. One of the ways you will be able to tell that your FS likes you is that they will act differently depending on whether they're with you or someone else. They'll do things with you that they wouldn't do with others. Show you sides of themselves that no one has seen. This person including you in their bubble will be a huge sign of their affection and trust. Especially, you meeting their family will be a huge thing because I feel like no one has gotten that opportunity before.

They are very confident in themselves, especially when it comes to their work and studies. They can ace anything you leave up to them as long as they know they've got your trust and things are explicit. However, if they feel like you're being shady or that you doubt them, this person's productivity will be affected dramatically. They struggle with impostor syndrom. They're also very quick to judge characters and they tend to have a strong intuition. So whenever this person tells you that they have a bad feeling about something, they are likely to be right.

They do not realize it bu they hold more power than they think and they are more popular than what they expect. This person is so humble that it would never cross their mind to put themselves forward and talk about their accomplishments. This is because of their upbringing. This person was lead to believe that they were not important and that no matter their achievements or efforts, they would never be enough to be taken seriously. Honestly this person has been through so much in their life that it's a miracle they still find the drive to carry on with a smile on their face. They are incredibly strong and admirable but they would never think that of themselves. They are their own worst enemy and critic. They don't like to be the center of attention but no matter what they do they just cannot escape it.

I feel like right away in your connection, you will intuitively feel very drawn to this person and very early on realize that they are your FS. Their will be something about their eyes that will immediately spark your interest. And everytime you will look into this person's eyes, you will not be able to hold their gaze because of the intensity of what you feel when looking at them. This may be something that they tease you about later on in your connection. I also pick up on a setting or an action that is unusual when you meet them. There will be something that will set you off about this person or maybe you will do something that they are not used to. And that will be the spark that ignites the whole thing. The reason I am saying that is because on the "I am always a child" card, the character depicted is walking barefoot on the street and one of their foot is in the mud. They are very neetly dressed and yet, without a care in the world, they are risking getting all dirty and being laughed at. It looks a bit out of place or out of the ordinary. Here are some things I am picking up on that maybe will speak to you : being the only person that didn't follow the dresscode at a party, walking up the stairs with a bunch of heavy grocery bags when you could have used the elevator, being the only person in the gym that sings to their workout playlist and gets hyped up while everyone else is just quietly sweating it out, being the only person that dares to talk back to the other or makes a comment about a specific touchy subject, being the only person to actually be educated about a specific topic that they're interested into while the others just have a surface level understanding of it, not showing them any sign of interest when other people are desperately trying to get their attention.

Looking at the picture you chose, this person could live by an important body of water. This could also be a sign that they are a very emotional individual. They may be into water sports like surfing, swimming, scuba diving. They could enjoy fishing. They may eat a lot of sea food. When travelling, they may prefer warm places such as islands over the country side or places like mountains. They may prefer Summer over other seasons.

Group 4

"My high vibe thoughts create health in my body, peace in my mind and love in my heart." "Let me be still today and listen to the truth in silence." "The more I honor my inner light the more I brighten the world. I choose to shine."

White Numen tarot : King of wands, 9 of wands, 7 of wands, knight of pentacles, 5 of pentacles

Sorry not sorry, Turn your tongue 7 times in your mouth before you speak, I've got super powers, Tomorrow is another day, Don't be fooled by my appearance my soul is resplendent

Based on your picture, the first thing I pick up on is that you may firstly interact with this person at a distance, either being penpals or through social media/dating apps. The picture also gives me a feeling of nostalgia. This may be someone that you reconnect with after a long time being a part. Daisies is the birth flower of people born in April. So it could be your or their birth month, or you could meet during this month. This person could be a childhood friend or your relationship could start of as friends and evolve into something more over time. I also can't help but to think of Disney's Daisy and Princess Daisy from the Mario lore. So your person gives off a very innocent vibe upon first glance but they turn out to be stronger and smarter than they appear. Though people may think of them as superficial, frail or shallow they are actually have a lot more depth and are very sensitive. This person may tend to be underestimated or overlooked, people may wrongly assume their character because of the way they look. Which feels a bit similar to group 2's person's energy so maybe you felt drawn to that group as well.

Your FS is a very spiritual person and they developped that spirituality through hardships and adversity. They possibly dealt with bullying as a child. This person was lead to believe that they didn't deserve affection, care, help. They spent most of their life being on their own and having to protect themselves because the adults around them where not creating a safe space for them. They have huge trust issues and are hyper independent. They do not know how to ask for help and do everything by themselves. They're the type of person that wants to be recognized solely for their skills and hard work. If someone were to help them or gift them something, they would think that they are not worthy of it because they haven't worked for it or earned it. Their notion of value is distorted because of the way they were raised as a child.

They are originally a very bright and cheerful person but life turned them into a bitter and cold person. Many times in their life, they were shown aspects of humanity that made them lose faith and hope. They were constantly lied to, disregarded, manipulated. People abused their kindness and generosity, treated them badly under the disguise of friendship or love. This person grew to believe that love wasn't meant for them. So when you meet them, they'll likely avoid you and run away from you at first. They'll have a hard time believing that your feelings for them are genuine and they may keep you at arms length for quite a while.

They fear intimacy. This will show in their distate for physical touch and public displays of affection. In their constant need for space and independance, for control within the relationship. Ironically, though they need a lot of space and free range of action, they will show a lot of possessiveness and jealousy especially if you are separated. This connection really gives me ennemies to lovers vibe. They will hate to love you and love to hate you. The beginning stages of your relationship may be quite rocky because of this person's fears and issues. However, because they will be very attached to you and protective over you they will understand the need for them to heal those aspects of their personality for you connection to be healthy and lasting. This is also because they have a strong sense of responsibility and want to be perceived in a good light by their loved ones.

This person is very charismatic and sensual. Chances are that a lot of eyes will be on them and a lot of people will want to pursue them, even while you are dating. They face a lot of envy and jealousy generally speaking but they will face even more adversity once they are with you. Which could interfere in your connection. There will be a lot of gossip about you, especially career wise. People in their work sphere specifically will not understand why your dynamic is working when you seem so different from one another. This will stem mostly from a lack mindset. Even their family could get involved in the drama. Since this person is very popular and likely succesful in their work, people may say things like you could be a threat to their reputation or question your motives for dating this person.

Even though their attraction for you will be very clear and obvious, this person will do everything in their power to ignore it and resist the pull to the point where it may look completely crazy to you and ridiculous. You may think "why is such a mature person acting in such a childish way, this is so unlike them". They'll make choices and actions that you will not understand and could attempt to sabotage the connection. But the more they will try to run away from you the closer they're gonna get because the Universe will not be having any of their BS and you won't either. Every time they will try to ignore or avoid you, they will be reminded of you or forced to face you in some type of way. This person could be trying to flirt with other people to forget about you, they may even straight up date another person thinking that you would disappear from their life. But the people they will interact with will be very similar to you or coincidentally they will be in your circle. If this person is working in a similar occupation, circumstances will have them working with you. They could choose to move out in a new location thinking they would avoid you but it turns out that you frequently go to that place because a family member lives nearby or your doctor's office is located in the same street. If you are a parent, maybe their kid goes to the same school as yours. And so on and so forth. Every time they turn on the radio, they'll hear songs that remind them of you. They'll see or hear your name quite often or will be confronted with something you like every day.

Specifically, I pick up that this person could be a coffee addict but maybe the way they like their coffee is very different to yours and this may be something you passionately debated on. They also have a thing for plants and flowers. They wear glasses or they have a bad eyesight. You could have "argued" about being too blunt and not knowing how to read the room. I don't know why I keep writing in past tense. Maybe for some of you that's a confirmation you already know this person. If that isn't your case, maybe this will be something that happens later on in your connection. I really get the feeling that something about this person will just get on your nerves when you first meet. Like the way they talk or how they dress. Maybe the setting in which you meet will give you a wrong impression of this person. Especially if a lot of people are badmouthing them and spreading false rumors about them.

This person is a loner. They spend most of their time alone, either at work or in their personal life. They are very guarded and introverted. They barely leave their home unless it's very important. They may have a fear of crowds and enclosed spaces. However, when they are able to trust someone they are very kind and giving, a total opposite of what people may depict them as. They have a very healing presence that stems from all the hardships they faced over time. This person uses their own experience to help people heal and expand. They could be a therapist, a reiki practitioner, someone that uses alternative medicine like herbology, crystal healing and such.

They have a lot on their plate. They struggle with mental health issues and it isn't something they openly talk about with anyone. However, if this person sees someone going through hardships, they will be the first one to reach out and provide help and support. This person believes in the law of attraction and also in fate. They know when to pay attention to the details which could also explain why they are so succesful in life but people may not see that side of them and just belive that your FS has it easy because of their wealth, their background, their looks. When in reality, this person is the most hardworking individual you'll ever know. And when you get to see that side of them, you will really admire and respect them.

[prettybugsinbandages]

Blot!reader pt. 1

This is a darker story. I suggest you refrain from reading it if you're in a fragile mental state or unable to handle darker themes.

When they all arrived in Twisted Wonderland, the reactions varied wildly; Irritation, indifference, curiosity, empathy, pity, disgust, admiration. All directed towards them—The Yuus. Not you. You didn't even seem to exist.

You aren't important. At least not enough to be a protagonist in this story all seven of them are living in.

The realization that you're alone in this world seems to hit like ice cold water dumped over your head and the chill of it creeps into your heart, freezing your veins and arteries.

You arrived the same way they did: Another world, no magic, the black carriage ride that would've seemed like a lifetime opportunity. But you aren't like the Yuus. You can't muster the determination and resolve they have to push through this unfamiliar terrain without much of a reaction. In fact, you cannot even begin to understand why none of them are upset about this.

Why? You find yourself asking over and over again and the question echoes relentlessly in your mind. Why aren't they grieving everything they've lost? Because you can't seem to stop thinking about it—Everything you've ever amounted to is gone. All your relationships, achievements, successes and lessons. Everything you've built is gone like a dream. Erased in an instant.

Hundreds—no—thousands of eyes stare at all of you. You don't have time to think about how beautiful they are. You've been stripped bare and raw of everything that ever made you you. You've been killed without ever physically dying.

As you struggle to adjust into this unfamiliar world, you can't help but admire others you share Ramshackle with. They're strong and determined, truly remarkable individuals. Charismatic and brave, they seem like the type of fictional characters the fanbase would adore—praised for the grit and unyielding stubbornness they display valiantly. Even the other students of magic descent respect them.

Sometimes you lie awake in your room—rundown and shabby, but improving. Together you're slowly transforming the dorm into something livable, maybe even inviting. During moments like these you find deep appreciation within yourself for the other seven that arrived with you. In vulnerable moments like this, they aren't companions; they're a lifeline.

Then there's you—a playground rock next to shining gems on pedestals. They reassure you that you're important. But nobody outside these croaking walls seems to believe that. The frustration builds sometimes, a tight knot in your chest just twisting and turning, and inevitably only knotting more. Curled up on the creaky floor, clutching your hair while staring wide-eyed at a single spot as if that floorboard specifically caused all of this. Tears don't seem to come; instead, you sit there, taking deep, shuddering breaths, lost in a sea of thoughts that you're drowning in.

Why? Why are you treated like a Ramshackle ghost—or even less? You all share the same origin, the same story of loss and these faux "New beginnings", so what makes you so different, so unappealing that nobody seems to want to spare more time than polite? Is it because of the fear that grips your heart? Its clutch is tight and cold, holding you to this new world full of threats hidden behind the guise of beautiful and new magic you didn't have back home.

The mesmerizing people that wield such pretty magic can control bodies while leaving consciousness intact—or the opposite. The idea of someone with malicious intent having that power over you is a chilling nightmare. You cannot simply compete for your own safety.

The inhabitants of Twisted Wonderland are simply stronger. Not just the fae, mers, or beastpeople, but even the humans. Their bodies are resilient, able to shrug off low-level magic that would leave you bloody or bruised.

At times you wonder why exactly nobody seems to care enough to remember you and there are moments when you find yourself gazing in the mirror, only met with an unfamiliar face. The reflection you're met with isn't quite yours—it's something darker, something hollow. A shadow, endless and consuming, its eyes locking with yours with an unnerving intensity. That smile, twisted in ways that were once pretty, no longer feels like it belongs on your face.

It's almost as you though you're looking at an echo of yourself, a distorted version that somehow feels both foreign and familiar, comforting in its familiarity but unsettling in its wrongness.

You blink, and the reflection moves. Just a slight shift, a creeping inch closer to the glass, closer than where you stand in reality. Your heart leaps into your throat, panic surging through you as you back away, tearing yourself from the bathroom and your own gaze. You slam the door behind you, leaning against its cold, worn surface. But even as the chill presses against your skin, it does nothing to calm the racing of your heart. The sleep deprivation is wearing you thin, and the hallucinations are becoming harder to ignore, more frequent, more real.

Ace's eyes narrow as you attempt to make small talk in the Ramshackle kitchen. He's friends with all the Yuus and quite close with them all. Deuce lingers somewhere nearby and you can hear his footsteps clomping around as he chases Grim. A soundtrack you've grown familiar with over time.

"—so yeah. He totally shrugged us off. Said we weren't 'big kid' enough to know what was going on." Ace rants, throwing his arms up in exasperation before running a hand through shaggy locks, his scarlet eyes met your own briefly before he continued rambling about something that had happened today in physed. His words swirl around you, filled with the day's energy, yet never fully reaching.

You always liked when the Adeuce duo visited. They were really only here for the others and you knew it, of course. If you remain in your room when they visit, neither boy will seek you out. They only included you in their escapades when you're right there—an afterthought. It felt cruel, like an unspoken rule of polite indifference. Nobody hated you, you just weren't important.

Deuce poked his face into the room, offering a polite wave as he rummaged through the fridge for a snack before leaning against the counter as he watched you make lunch. His expression is thoughtful and only vaguely curious.

"You don't really do anything, do you?" The words slipped out like a quiet curiosity that cut deeper than he likely intended. It's not a jab, just a question. Maybe that makes it hurt more. You felt like a rarely regarded lamp in a corner, the bulb long burned out, the shade dusty and untouched, and a soft light no longer emit from it.

You awkwardly muster a smile and try to respond—to list a reason you're worth more attention than you receive, but your voice falters. Before you can say a word, Grim streaks across the table, scattering papers and bunching up the cheap cloth. One paw hits Ace in the face and Deuce barely manages to avoid a fall with the creature darting between his legs.

Both boys shoot up, laughter and curses ringing out through the dorm as they chase Grim out of the room. You're left in the quiet, the emptiness settling over you like dust—suffocating and dull. The buzz of the kitchen light hums in the silence, a low, monotonous sound that only seems to heighten the irritation building inside. It's the kind of anger that feels pointless, but it consumes you anyway, making you feel unbearably stagnant.

Your eyes are locked on the tiles beneath your feet, the stark off-whiteness almost glaring under the dim light. You stare so intensely that your eyes begin to sting, but you can't bring yourself to look away. Something feels off, something is off.

And then, it hits you. Your oldest companion—the one constant presence you could always count on—has abandoned you. Your shadow is gone. For a fleeting moment, you feel exposed, like the absence of it leaves you vulnerable. You almost want to reach out, to search for it, but there's nothing there. The realization leaves you with a cold, sinking feeling, and the silence suddenly feels oppressive.

Your gaze pulls away from the tiles, heart racing, trying to dismiss the unsettling feeling. Turning back to the counter, you expect to regain a semblance of calm. But as you do, something catches your eye—your shadow is cast strangely, distorted in a way you don't recall. Paranoia gnaws at you, the question unanswered. Was it always like this? You couldn't even remember.

Before you could process it any further, you hear Yuuken's voice, calling you from down the hall, asking for help with the renovations.

Engaging with anyone here was an uphill battle—woundingly difficult. The conversations seem one sided, his interest always fleeting as if there's nothing about you that's all that interesting. You're invisible. Once again, feeling like a ghost, a nameless background character in a story you were pasted into, into a story that you weren't even supposed to be dragged into.

What cuts deeper like a blade into the fat layer is the reality that you're not just standing idle. You're there in the overblots, fighting every battle as if you were qualified despite being dastardly unfit for this work. Fighting just as fiercely for people who don't even dare to acknowledge your existence for longer than necessary. You've pulled people to safety, pushed others out of the way of dangerous attacks and when it's all over you're tending to the injured, soothing the boy whose overblotted until he comes to. Yet when he wakes his eyes are darting for someone else.

All you want—all you need—is a simple acknowledgement. A thanks.

Yuu is injured but so are you. "What about me?" The words slip out before you can stop them

"What about you?" He repeats as his eyes rake over your crumpled form; battered and broken.

His voice is distant, edged with a vague obligation of care or pity. "You're hurt. Staff and paramedics will be here soon. Stay put." You would've felt your heart swell to feel any sort of acknowledgement and being withdrawn from your lonely bubble but he goes ahead and says that to everyone else and the hope sputters out and fades away. Are you merely another faceless voice in the crowd?

But he's beside Yuuka and her friends, thanking them tending to the others, offering words of comfort and appreciation and a hot surge of jealousy envelops you for only a fleeting moment before it cools almost immediately. It's not Yuu's fault. She's stumbling over words, eyes darting between you and him, desperately trying to redirect all the praise.

"They helped a lot too. Don't worry about me. Please—they took a lot of hits for the team—" her voice is rushed, earnest. She sees you. She knows.

But you're numb. The words wash over you, leaving you staring blankly. Your focus sharpens as you watch him, the indifference cutting deeper than any wound from battle.

It's not Yuu's fault, you think, the realization like a blade. And it's not mine either.

Your eyes harden, the simmering negativity solidifying into something darker—hatred for this world and its unforgiving, selective gaze.

The Blot's words wrapped around you like velvet, warm and inviting. Each word a whisper, and just beyond your comprehension. It spoke in a language too rich, too layered for you to fully grasp, yet you found yourself managing a nod and agreeing to flowery promises barely understood.

Home seems too far now, a vague dream you once had a long time ago that's memories grow dim within your worn mind. Crowley's so-called "research" moves at a snail's pace, each reassurance vague and hollow with no weight behind it. They have housewardens, heirs, socialites, all silently pining to have them by their side in the end. The others have people who want them here.

When graduation comes, you know you'll be alone. No citizenship, no comforting embrace after a long day, no government papers to properly own a home, and no magic to shield you.

A higher education was beyond your reach without the proper credentials. You could aim for a trade but no reputable company would hire a ghost in the system without insurance. Shadier paths were on the table for you but you didn't want to hurt innocent people and you weren't ready to die. Not yet.

"You promise?" The words rasped from your throat, a fragile plea to the pitch-black figure—it smiles.

Snowflakes gathered on your broken body, frostbite gnawed at your fingertips and toes. The cold seeped deep, pressing kisses to your very bone marrow. The results of the accident are chilling, your body numb and your mind blocking the pain out.

"You'd accept even if I won't, darling." It purred, voice dripping with amusement and leaning over your mangled body. Once again you looked like broken porcelain. Doll carnage—too pretty to die in its eyes.

"You're going to die in that stupid uniform." It reminds with a melodious laugh escaping it, crouching so unseen eyes met yours and the empty gaze felt cold like a harpoon through your skull.

A response doesn't form just yet, instead your words linger on time quickly slipping away. "You'll make me live?"

"You make it sound like a punishment."

"It could be."

Its grin only widened. "I'll make you thrive—I'll sponsor you. Only to test magicless bodies, of course. You're soaked with hatred, my dove—enough to feed me for centuries and I just might be able to use all that to give you some fancy powers," The Blot chimed and waves it's hands around with a lighthearted laugh as if you're not mangled and dying right now.

You muster a nod and your vision is blurring quickly, adrenaline settling in as your blood pumped quickly to get you up, away from the charming danger you'd shake hands with if your body was capable of movement.

"I've waited too long.." It murmured softly, a hint of cruel reverence sends a shiver runs down your spine as the Blot's presence looms closer, its hands—tender, almost too tender—brush away strands of hair from your face, as if trying to soothe the tension there. Your body trembles under the weight of its touch, that impossible softness juxtaposed with the suffocating darkness that clings to it. The Blot's dark hands reach for you, wrapping around your shoulder and back to prop you up, not in malice but in something more unsettling, as though its cradling you like something fragile, something it fears may break at the breeze.

It laughs, a low, melodious sound, "Even a worm will turn," it murmurs under its breath, the words curling into your mind, buzzing like static. You can't focus on anything other than the overwhelming presence of it, the heat of its breath a nearly welcome sensation against the stinging snow, slowly burying you.

It'd been a few days since the accident—now you walk the halls, your feet knowing the path subconsciously as your eyes linger on the jewelry again, the weight of it palpable on your finger. The design is intricate, just as you'd always admired—luxurious without tipping over into excess, a perfect balance of elegance. But it's the stone at its center that pulls at you, black as the void. It swallows light, reflecting nothing but its own cold depth, as if it has its own consciousness. You feel it almost stare back at you.

A scoff slips past your lips, quiet but bitter. On your left ring finger... really? The symbolism is unmistakable, painfully so. The left ring finger—a spot traditionally reserved for unions of love, a mark that binds two hearts together. But for you, it's a symbol of something far more suffocating. This ring doesn't speak of affection or choice. It speaks of a contract. A binding agreement you were coerced into on the brink of death.

You'd like to think that in a normal situation you would've denied it but a voice in the back of your consciousness rejects that. You know you would have taken the deal.

Yuuta's voice comes from behind, cutting through the weight of your thoughts. You don't flinch, but his sudden presence forces you back into reality. His usual smile is present, though there's something different in his eyes today—a worry you can't quite ignore.

"Hey! You walk fast-" He pants, falling into step beside you. "Doing anything for lunch? Me and the others are... honestly really worried about you. Ever since you came back a few days ago from that night-blizzard-walk.. you've been off." His voice drops slightly as he tilts his head to try and meet your gaze.

It's hard to resist his pleading look. Yuuta has a way of being both persistent and comforting, and something about him makes you swallow your usual refusal. You nod, even though you'd planned to stay alone, to work through your thoughts—thoughts about the Blot, the contract, and the strange shift in the world since you'd returned.

Sighing inwardly, you follow him to the familiar table. As you lower yourself onto the bench, your thoughts still scattered, the sound of something unpleasant catches you off guard—a soft, squishy noise. You frown, reaching down to find a purple whoopie cushion beneath you.

Before you can say anything, Ace's laughter rings out, easily cutting through the table's chatter. "I told you it'd work! They're always in their own world, seriously."

Epel's high-five to Ace is audible, and you can almost feel their amusement. Deuce, on the other hand, shoots Ace a disapproving look. "A whoopie cushion? What are you, twelve?"

Ace chuckles, standing and grabbing the whoopie cushion from your hands before glancing back at the others, a mischievous grin still present on his face. "Firstly, I saw you laugh too, and hey, what can I say? I'm a guy who appreciates the classics." His crimson eyes flick to you, and before you can even process it, he taps the cushion gently on your head a few times. "Real spacey lately, huh?"

The words hang in the air, and for a split second, you freeze. Spacey. They're speaking first. They're acknowledging you first. After everything, after how invisible you've felt... now they decide to reach out?

Anger grows in your chest but you quickly suppress it. Your fingers instinctively brush the blot ring on your finger, feeling its cold weight. Thrive. The Blot's promise. The smile and soft words is the only thing you can offer right now, even if it feels a little too forced, too foreign on your face.

"Have I been?" You ask, the words coming out light and easygoing. "It's difficult to sleep in a rickety, haunted dorm. You and the others should sleepover more. I like the background noise."

It wasn't a full lie. You did feel less lonely when they visited, but the feeling only increased tenfold when you could hear everyone downstairs while you remained forgotten in your room. Still, you left the invitation open.

Just you wait. You thought, your smile dimming as Ace returned to his spot and the conversation flowed, your earlier anxieties and insecurities nulled by the ring thanks to the contract.

You'll ease yourself into their lives, each thread slipping through the spaces between them, invisible but vital. Not just the ones at the table, but everyone you've fought for, the ones who've forgotten you, the ones who've never seen you or bothered to try. You'll become a part of them so intertwined that they'll find it impossible to live without seeing you in every aspect of their days and nights.

In time, you'll make sure of it. You'll be everywhere—in their laughter, in their sorrows, in the smallest moments, the ones they think they can forget. They'll breathe you in without even realizing, and soon, every part of their lives will have a thread of you running through it. You'll be their lifeline.

part two

srry if its not the cute, comforting lovestory you were expecting lol

I'm sorta leaving it on an open end here to keep you all guessing ig lol. I can probably write separate minifics or whatever for this au I made or drabbles or maybe even a second chapter if anyone wants.

I wrote this in November and am posting it now so that was my procrastination ig

I've been sitting on this idea with no motivation to write it for probably two years so spare with me if it doesn't make sense or it's no good.

First time writing for tumblr and I haven't written outside of my notes app in a long time lol

[syluses]

you are such a talented writer—literally art through words

i have got to ask: how was/is sylus during your pregnancy? how does he feel seeing your body change to accommodate growing his big babies?

also, does she end up giving him a girl? do they end up having even more? 🤭

ohhh thank you dear thats so sweet to hear!! 🥹💖 pls take this lil drabble as a long answer lol :,) [based off this fic] CW: slight yandere, pregnancy, suggestive, dubious feelings

hehe OKAY so sylus is super attentive to mc we’ve established that!! also i don’t wanna say he falls more in love with you bc that’s quite literally impossible- he’s already down atrocious. but that’s not to say something inside him doesn’t soften and melt into a puddle whenever he sees your belly bump or rubs it reverently with his hand. your pregnancy both reminds him to be strong, to be that one grounding force in your life, the thing both you and your blossoming family can lean on- but at the same time it brings the epiphany that he’s just a man at the end of the day… and if one thing will make him weak, it’s his wifey <3

but to concisely answer your question: sylus is possessive, yes- hawk-like in the way he watches over you, but he’s also very soft. he knows and hates that he can’t be around the base all the time for you (if life was simpler, he’d be glued to your side 24/7), especially when you’re at your most vulnerable, too big to properly move, hormonal and requiring some sort of aid- emotional or physical- around the clock.

luke and kieran help where they can and sylus silently entrusts that they’ll hold the fort down while he’s gone, but even then, papa isn’t the keenest on the idea of the boys lingering around you for long periods of time,… especially when he isn’t there as well. it’s not that he worries they’ll make some sort of move on you or anything (God knows they’d sooner wish death upon themselves than to lay a hand on sylus’s girl), but more so that you’ll grow a little too lenient on them. he’s not an incredibly jealous guy,.. but the streak is certainly there.

sylus thinks there’s something undeniably intimate in it as well: his beautiful wife pregnant with his kin, relying solely and fully on him. it deepens your bond, and your trust in him (and ultimately your affection, he hopes).

oh and seeing your body change and reshape itself to accommodate his kids ABSOLUTELY drives him crazy. you’ll be insecure and whatnot, subconsciously trying to wrap yourself in baggy clothes (his massive wardrobe making that very convenient), walking around the manor with a blanket draped over your shoulders, not meeting his eyes when sylus inevitably can’t keep his hands off for any longer and brings you to bed. but he’ll kiss away those tears you can’t help from falling and croon at your ear, his hands will appreciatively roam over all those new curves you loathe and he’ll be super super gentle when he fucks you... tell you the sweetest things- purring reassurance in that velvety, deep voice of his as his lips meld lovingly with yours.

seeing you a lil plump, extra soft and vulnerable- round with his children- makes it near impossible to keep a level head around you but he does his best. you’re always the priority, even when it feels like he’ll cum in his pants like a teenager when you slot yourself in his arms and bashfully guide his big hands toward your aching, swollen breasts. someone is standing at attention immediately.

ahem. also… this outcome can be imagined in another way, that’s completely fine wit me— but in my head, sylus DOES end up getting the precious baby girl he wanted. is he satisfied? oh one hundred freakin percent. for… how long? eh. maybe anywhere from half a year to twelve months before that baby fever kicks right back in and puts reader on her ASS. poor exhausted woman is furious at him for constantly nudging her towards having a bigger family; but to be fair, sylus won’t actually voice those returning wants until weeks or months down the line, for that exact reason. he doesn’t wanna piss her off too bad haha.

this time around he’ll try to cushion the blow by saying ‘oh but we have two boys and only one girl- we need just one more to tie the numbers up. our little sweetheart will hate us if we don’t give her someone to play dolls with, dont you think?’ or some nonsense like that. im sorry but to me, sylus wants a big family. i dunno i just think that man WANTS DESPERATELY for mc to domesticate his crazy ass!!! a bunch of trifling lil toddlers scampering around his home seems like a great way to do that! i mean, if not, what else would his house be so massive for? honestly, you’d both just be wasting the space otherwise :(

in any case, your mean pouty face can’t fool sylus. you absolutely adore those little ragamuffins he gave you and will give you. there’s no denying that. <3