#and then (hopefully! if I don’t get cut the week of the show!) performances

[curiosity-killed]

This is my choice and I recognize that but it is always weird when like coworkers are like aw dance is so cute!! when I mostly just. worked a second+ job all weekend

[pilot-boi]

Jaune’s friends throw him a birthday party only to find out he has long forgotten his own birthday in the Ever After, never mind how old he technically is.

Jaune’s friends have been acting weird all week.

Of course, he’s not a very good judge of what counts as weird anymore. Living for decades in a world where the brooks would literally babble and time was literally money would do that to you.

But he feels pretty sure that they’re being weird.

They keep huddling in groups whispering to each other, only to see him coming and abruptly change the subject, or just straight up walk away. He might be out of practice reading social cues (and he was pretty abysmal to begin with, let’s be honest here) but even he can notice that.

Are they mad at him? He’s been trying his best to hold himself together since getting back. He’s been talking to Ren and Nora and Ruby when he’s spiring. Oscar has been a HUGE help adjusting to feeling out of place in his own skin. Heck, this morning he didn’t even wake up freaking out about being late! All things considered he thinks he’s been doing pretty okay.

So why are they all avoiding him?

“Do you have…”

“No, Ren’s taking care…”

“Oh good, then you can-”

Ruby and Weiss are lurking outside of an unused classroom, whispering intently to each other over an open notebook. Jaune perks up. “Hey guys! What’re you-”

They both look up at him, immediately cutting off their conversation. Weiss shuts her notebook with a snap. Jaune’s greeting trails off and his smile slips from his face as they stare at him.

“What uh… what are you guys up to?” Jaune asks.

Ruby and Weiss glance at each other. “Nothing you need to worry about,” Weiss responds eventually, Ruby shifting awkwardly behind her

“Are you sure? I could… maybe I could help!” he offers, hating how over-eager he must sound.

“I’m sure,” Weiss replies firmly, and Jaune wilts further. “Besides, we were just going, right Ruby?”

“We were? I mean, yeah! Yeah we were,” Ruby nods, already edging away. Can she really not even stand to be around him? “See ya later, I guess!” And the two of them hurry off down the hallway, already whispering to each other.

Jaune slumps. He thought he was doing better, but if Weiss and Ruby beat that hasty of a retreat at his mere presence? And not even the first one this week? Yeah, they’re definitely mad at him. He just wishes he knows what he did.

He shuffles his way back to the JNPER dorm. The whole time, he’s replaying the conversation in his head, nitpicking every over-exuberance, every awkward moment. He knows he’s out of practice, but he’s trying, really he is. Maybe they’re just finally getting tired of his lackluster performance? Tired of playing nice in the face of his bumbling?

The door is ajar when he returns, and he can hear Oscar and Nora’s voices inside.

“...just hard seeing him this way.”

“I know, it hurts me, too.”

He hesitates, hand hovering over the doorknob. He can’t help it. And yeah, eavesdropping is bad. But they’re talking about him, and if they don’t know he’s there, they will continue to do so. Of course, he might not like what he hears, but at least he’ll have answers. And since when does he do what’s good for him?

“...having trouble adjusting.”

“Yeah. But hopefully this will help!”

“I hope so. It’s been a while, but if we all work together we can make sure he stays away while we-”

Yeah. He’s heard enough.

Jaune shuts the door with a quiet click. Well, he was wrong at least. His friends aren’t mad at him. 

No. No, they hate him.

He lets his steps carry him away. He doesn’t much care where he ends up, he knows his friends won’t be there.

If they want him to stay away, he can do that. It was selfish of him (stupid of him) to want to immediately insert himself back into the team dynamic. They spent months grieving him while he was living in fairytale land, and then he shows back up and what? Just slots back in like nothing happened? Like they didn’t just spend the last few months of their lives thinking he was dead?

“Having trouble adjusting” Nora had said, and she’s right of course. It’s no secret that he’s been taking to Remnant like a fish to the desert.

But he’s been trying, gods he’s been trying!

Jaune knows he’s awkward and too loud and too big. Too used to stiffness in his limbs that would slow his movements, too used to a creak and a crack in his voice that would lower his tone. Too used to being alone to fit, like he’s a puzzle piece from a different set thrown in a box it doesn’t belong.

He knows he’s not okay, he’s not right. He knows that as well as he knows his name. (His name or his title? Which one is he anymore?) But to hear it spoken so plainly from a friend’s mouth…

Jaune doesn’t realize he’s crying until his vision blurs with tears.

Weiss and Ruby whispering to themselves about Ren (his teammate, his brother, he doesn’t even know what his brother is doing), saying they don’t need him, and leaving abruptly when he approaches. Nora and Oscar talking quietly about how badly he’s adjusting and how they need him to stay away.

He just wanted to be less alone, but he’s just pushing everyone away again. Too loud, too big, too much. Just like Alyx.

“Hey Arc, what’s with the moping?” Jaune jumps, whirls around, and blinks back into awareness. He’s in a courtyard dappled with the warm tones of sunset (Wasn’t it midday? How much time did he lose?), one of the few places in the city with plantlife. And there, glaring at him from under a palm tree, is Emerald.

He stares at her. She stares back. He can’t tell if she’s giving him time to calm down (stupid crying, stupid trauma, why won’t his lungs just work right) or if she just refuses to ask the question again.

Eventually his breathing steadies as much as it’s going to, and his panic begins to ebb. She’s still just staring at him.

His brain catches up. Right, she asked him a question.

“I’m not-” He swallows. No more bottling things up. He tried that already, and look where it got him. A bowl full of poison and a lake full of tattered paper. “I think everyone is mad at me. I think… I think they’re all just psyching themselves up to tell me that they’re… that they hate me.” Jaune admits, voice getting more quiet as he goes. And wow, he really must be hard up for people to talk to if he’s telling Emerald this.

She scoffs, rolling her eyes. “What? No. No they’re not.”

Jaune blinks, taken aback by her immediate response. “They’re not? But… but they’ve been avoiding me all week! Saying they don’t need me and that they want me to stay away! I just heard Nora, and she said-”

“They don’t hate you, trust me,” Emerald assures, cutting off his increasingly panicked rambling. And somehow, she sounds so sure of herself that he can’t help but trust her. “I don’t think they can hate you. Believe me, I’ve tried, and you’re annoyingly likeable. It sucks.”

“But if they don’t hate me then…” The words won’t come. Why are they avoiding him? Why are they working on something while deliberately not including him? Why do they want him to stay away?

The bewilderment must be plain on his face because Emerald sighs and stands. She mutters something under her breath that sounds like “those idiots can’t even…” but he doesn’t catch the rest.

“Gods damn puppy eyes. They’re just planning a… wait. Actually-” Emerald pulls out her Scroll. Jaune can’t see who she dials, but whoever it is picks up immediately. “Hey it’s me. Yeah. Yeah I know you’re busy but- Yeah I know you’re almost out of time-”

At this, Emerald glances at the sky for some reason and Jaune automatically follows her gaze. The sun is dipping behind the roof of the building, sending cool shadows across the courtyard. Jaune winces, reminded of the time he lost. How long was he wandering around the halls of Shade before he stumbled across Emerald?

“Yeah I know, I KNOW! Listen, Arc’s-” She gets cut off again, clearly growing more and more irritated. It’s probably Yang then, or Ruby. “Will you just shut up and listen?! Arc’s here! He’s here with me, so you can tell the rest of the idiot squad to stop worrying! He’s right here!” Jaune perks up. They were worried about him? But…

“He wandered past me after overhearing one of you… No he still doesn’t know, somehow, but he showed up freaking out and VERY disassociating and I had to calm him down! So if you don’t want a full meltdown on your hands, one of you get over here and get this show on the road, because I swear I am not equipped to deal with Jaune crying.”

Jaune. She called him Jaune. 

And earlier she said she doesn’t hate him.

And if she doesn’t hate him then… then maybe she wasn’t lying about the rest of his friends not hating him. It feels like there’s a happy balloon swelling in his chest, and gods dammit he’s starting to cry again.

Stupid high strung emotions, stupid post-meltdown crying, stupid heart caring so stupid much.

Emerald catches his eye and she winces. “Ah shit um… No everything’s fine, Arc’s just crying again. No I think it’s good tears this time, he’s got this big dopey smile on his face. Yeah. Yeah that’s the one. Can one of you get over here now? We’re in the garden off of our room. No the other one. See ya.”

She sighs and tucks her Scroll back in her pocket. “Ruby should be here any second.” Jaune beams at her. She squints at him. “What.”

He shrugs. “You’re a good friend.”

Emerald scoffs, folding her arms and looking away. “Yeah, whatever.”

There’s a burst of rose petals and Ruby materializes next to them. She’s speaking before her feet touch the ground! “-so sorry! Jaune! Oh gods we’ve been looking for you everywhere! Come on, the others are waiting-”

“You have? They are?? Wait what are-” Before he knows what’s happening, Ruby has wrapped herself, himself, and a reluctant Emerald up in her cape. “-you talking about?” Jaune says as soon as they land. And then the nausea hits.

“Oh crap, I forgot! Sorry…” Ruby apologizes, patting his back as he doubles over, breathing shallowly and leaning heavily on hands resting on shaky knees. “You okay?”

“Better than ever,” Jaune replies, chuckling weakly. “Just warn me next time. Please. Airships are bad enough but that was…”

“Horrible??!” Emerald interrupts, looking thoroughly ruffled.

“Intense,” he concludes, straightening with a shudder. They’re standing outside of an unused classroom, the same one as before. But then… why did Weiss and Ruby leave?

“Well? Go inside!” Ruby prods, bouncing next to the door.

Again, weird. But again, he’s no longer a great judge of what’s weird. So Jaune just opens the door and-

-and is immediately hit with a wall of sound comparable to a bomb going off.

They’re all lucky his sword is back in the dorm, or they’d all be nursing a few gashes. As it is, it takes an embarrassingly long amount of time for Jaune to realize he’s not under attack, and that all the yelling is just…

Birthday wishes? Is this a surprise party?

“Is this… for me?” Jaune asks, once his voice finds its way back to his throat.

“Of course it is, we’ve been planning this all week!” Yang hollers, from where she’s standing next to Blake and a pile of haphazardly wrapped presents.

“We wanted it to be a surprise,” Blake shrugs, looking sheepish. “Guess we took the secrecy a bit too far.”

“We didn’t mean to make you worry!” Nora apologizes, from beside the biggest cake Jaune’s ever seen. “I think you might’ve overheard me and Oscar talking earlier and-”

Everything slots into place. The whispering, the planning, wanting to keep him away, not including him in the process, Ren’s key involvement (That cake could only have been made by him), wanting to help him adjust. It was all just them doing… this.

There’s a pile of presents, each wrapped individually and labeled with Yang’s scrawl and Blake’s tidy printing. A banner hangs overhead with “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!” written on it in block letters, and the last few letters of birthday are all smushed at the end. The cake is iced yellow with the double crescents of the Arc crest emblazoned at the top.

And his friends. His friends. All working together for a week to do this, for him, and he can feel his heart tight in his chest, and gods dammit here come the water works. How could ever think they hate him while they were doing this for him??

His friends are alls taring at him anxiously, and he realizes they think he doesn’t like it.

“I love you guys,” he sobs, and holds his arms out for a hug.

They all surge forward and sink to the floor. Oscar tucks himself under one arm, Ruby under the other. Weiss, Blake, and Ren curl around his sides. And on top of it all he can feel Yang and Nora’s exuberance.

They don’t hate him. They don’t hate him. Gods, how could he ever think they hate him?

In the middle of the hug huddle (Hud? Huggle?) Jaune frowns. “Wait… is it my birthday?” he asks nobody in particular.

He can feel someone adjust against his chest. “Course it is,” he feels Oscar’s voice hum through him. The pod loosens so his baby brother can look up at him, and Jaune ducks to avoid his discerning gaze. 

“I…” Jaune swallows, and finds that he’s looking right at Ruby. She looks gentle, understanding, and when he glances around he sees the same warmth on all of his friends’ faces. He swallows. No more bottling things up. “I forgot,” he admits.

“You forgot it’s today?” Emerald asks, and of course, she’s sitting cross-legged just outside of the slowly detaching hug pile.

“I forgot it entirely,” he says quietly, and he feels Oscar tuck into his side, and Jaune wraps an arm around him without even looking. “There wasn’t any reliable way to count days after so long, and even if there was… the days just weren’t consistent.” Time flowing away like sand in a shattered hourglass. Days that last minutes, nights that last days, days that last months, nights that last seconds. He shrugs. “So I just… forgot. I forgot a lot of things.”

“You didn’t forget us,” Nora reminds him, thudding her head down on his shoulder.

“I couldn’t let myself,” he says. “You guys…” Jaune takes the time to look them all in the eye. “Knowing I’d eventually get back to you all is all that kept me going.”

“Well, if you forget again, if you fall again… we’ll catch you,” Ruby says simply. “Me, Ren, Nora, all of us. And if that’s not enough, and you forget, and you lose yourself…” She swallows, and Jaune’s suddenly quite certain that he’s not the only one on the verge of tears. “Then we’ll just find you and show you who you are.”

“A million bajillion times,” Nora agrees, muffled against his chest.

“As many times as it takes,” Ren nods, and the others all murmur their assent. And Jaune’s heart swells with love for these people who have walked through hell, and who he would walk through hell for, and who would walk through hell for him.

The presents could be bricks and the cake could be sawdust and he wouldn’t care. This, these friends holding him in their arms… this is the only thing he could have ever wanted for a birthday he forgot but they remembered.

Love.

[nolita-fairytale]

make my heart surrender | carmy berzatto x fem!reader | chapter three: thursday

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

warnings: lots of swearing, angst, use of she/her pronouns, allusions to sex, eventual smut, no use of y/n, second person pov, mentions of death/mikey's suicide

word count: 3.4k

summary: you and carmy finally find some time to catch up and carmy begins to realize that you're more similar than he thinks.

a/n: thank you to all who are reading, reblogging, and commenting omg. i'm so grateful that someone wanted to read this story. i wrote it in a week because i couldn't get these two out of my head. they were begging to be put on the page. i also have a companion playlist that i'll release when the story is done because i don't want to spoil anything! comment below if you'd like to be added to this story's taglist. i did presumptuously add a few of you i've interacted with, so please let me know if you'd also like to be taken off of it.

read: part two | masterlist

Thursday

You’re grateful that by day three, you’d been able to smooth over some of the tension between you and Carmy. You even looked forward to catching up with him, if the two of you can swing it. Instead of going home early, you had jumped on the line this evening. Ebra was out for the night and Marcus had asked to fly solo on prep so that you could give him some feedback before lunch service tomorrow morning. 

It was an easy decision, to fill in and jump on the line. After all, you had checked your bag on the plane so that you could bring your knife roll with you, just in case. There was something about this kitchen – the energy and the people – that you wanted to stick around for. And it didn’t hurt that you got to spend a little extra time with Carmy. When he was in his element, expediting and leading this kitchen… he was… breathtaking. 

“Damn, nice knife, Jeff” Tina comments, checking out the santoku you’re running through some parsley. She can hear the crisp, clean cuts you're making, which is what caught her attention in the first place.

“Jeff?” you question, shooting her a look. 

“Long story, but trust me. It’s a term of endearment,” Sydney interjects, from her side of the prep station. 

You chuckle, “She’s a beauty alright. My first fully Japanese knife. Though the steel is a bitch to take care of. That’s for sure.”

“What do you mean?” Tina questions further. 

“Well, it’s just a kind of metal alloy that’s super prone to-,” you start, completing your sentence at the same time as Sydney chimes in.

“Rusting,” you both say in unison, sharing a look. 

“Huh,” Tina sounds, suddenly losing interest. “I don’t get it. It’s more work to take care of? Our shit’s part-plastic and does the job just fine.”

“Oh but she’s so smooth,” you playfully swoon, referring to how beautifully the knife performs for you. 

“It’s all about the performance, T,” Sydney adds. 

Tina hums in response, still unconvinced by you and Sydney’s admiration for the fancy tools. 

“So you and Carmy. How’d you meet Jeff?” Tina inquires further geturing her knife towards Carmy’s expediting station, and eliciting another laugh from you and Sydney.

“Uhhhh… we both worked at the same restaurant in New York. I came in to stage and the competitive jerk tried to smoke me. Thought he could show me it was his territory.”

“Like a little bitch,” Tina teases, the shade evident in her voice.

“And you kicked his ass obviously,” Sydney suggests, hopefully. 

“Mhm,” Tina adds in agreement.

“Oh absolutely,” you answer, deviously. “I walked out with a job that night. Carmy and I are the classic kitchen staff case of… enemies turned good friends.” 

You look up from your station, noticing an exchanged look between Sydney and Tina. 

It’s the kind of look that says, Just friends, huh?

“Alright, alright. Enough with the girl talk, gossip girls. News flash: no one gives a shit about fuckin’ Tom Colicchio and Padma Whatserface over here,” Richie interrupts, referring to the you and Carmy, as he passes by with a few empty storage containers on the way to the dishwashing station. 

“Asshole / Fuck off, Richie,” Sydney and Tina shout back at the same time. 

“Hey! Listen up, everyone! Fire two spaghettis, two short ribs, one chicken,” Carmy calls out to the kitchen. You listen attentively, hearing the chorus of the entire kitchen repeat the order back to him, punctuating the order with a ‘heard.’ 

You smile to yourself, as you enjoy the feeling of falling into such a familiar rhythm. 

You’ve missed working in the kitchen, and you’ve missed working in the kitchen with Carmy. This was so different than any of the bullshit you’ve been through together – even when he is arguing or yelling at someone. It’s not some sterile environment that looks more like a science lab or an operation room than it does a kitchen.

No, this place has soul. 

Between the crass kitchen banter, the less than flattering nicknames, and its wild cast of characters, it’s only day three and you feel right at home. Dinner service flies by and you’re eager to check in with Marcus by the end of the shift. Before taking your apron off, you head over to his corner of the kitchen. 

“Hey, how’s everything going, chef?” you ask, curiously. 

“Good, chef,” he answers proudly. “I got the brioche covered and ready to rise overnight and I prepped the cake donuts so we’re ready to roll tomorrow morning. I went with a blueberry cake donut this time around.” 

“Sounds great. I can’t wait to try it, chef,” you reply. “Need anything from me before I head out for the night?”

“Oh no, uh, I’m almost done here,” Marcus answers, inspiring confidence in his ability. “Just workin’ on a curd for the filling, chef. Just like you taught me.”

“Alright,” you chuckle, tickled by how excited he is. “Have a good night, chef.” You pause, wondering if your words will be totally lost on him. “And make sure you get some rest tonight, okay?” 

He responds with a nod, as you leave his station.

You make your way to the locker area, hanging your apron up, and slipping off your kitchen sneakers, before taking a seat on the bench. It looks like most of the kitchen staff got a head start on you and have already left, or are out of their kitchen clothes and ready to head home. There’s a strange feeling in your heart. You haven’t felt this kind of… community… in a professional kitchen in a long time and you try your best to name what it is you’ve felt was missing. 

“Hey,” you hear a voice say, pulling you from your thoughts. 

“Hey,” you say to Carmy. 

He removes his apron, folding it over his forearm. It sits further down his arm, right near his tattooed hand, you notice, as he leans his side against the lockers. 

“Thanks for jumpin’ in… you know… on the line tonight,” he starts his gaze practically piercing through your soul. 

“Yeah, it’s uh, no problem,” you reply, placing your knife roll and kitchen shoes back into your locker. “I had fun.”

“You uh, you still want to go for that drink?” he asks, shyly. 

You smile. 

“Yeah.”

*

“It’s fucked up,” Carmy shakes his head in disbelief. 

“Oh please. What?” you groan, shooting him a look.

“You’ve been in my city for… what three days now and you already have a hookup at one of the hardest to get into bars here,” Carmy replies, eliciting a laugh from you. 

“Oh my god,” you sigh with a playful eye roll. “I’m a New Yorker, asshole. You know that’s how we do it.” 

He shakes his head again, before locking eyes with you, “You were always better at it than me.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you, Carmen Berzatto, finally admitting that I’m better at something than you? Can you say it again, and I’m just going to-.” you tease, playfully, pulling out your phone as if you’re going to film him saying it. 

“Oh shut up…” he shoots back, gently pushing your phone away from his face. 

“I mean, you could always make friends with anyone. The bodega guy downstairs. The fuckin’ bodega cat. Our favorite butcher? ‘S why we always got the good cuts of meat when we cooked together on our days off.” 

“Which is exactly why I do it,” you point out. 

You had always been so magnetic to him. It’s something that he’s always admired about you – something that always reminded him of Mikey. 

“No, I-, I used to be a regular at this bar when I was working at Gramercy Tavern – actually, I think it closed right before you came to New York. Anyways, found out my favorite bartender moved to Chicago and I sent him a message letting him know I’d be in town. Said he’d get us in even if they were booked up, and,” you gesture towards where the two of you are sitting together, “Et voila!” 

Carmy takes a look around. He hasn’t been in a fine dining establishment since he left New York. It’s as if all the fancy awards and all the dues he’s paid cooking in the best restaurants in the entire world don’t matter anymore. He feels so out of place: the people, the over-the-top cocktails, the overpriced bowls of food called something fancy to justify the high price point. 

“From the kitchen” your bartender had said curtly, a mere few minutes ago. He had placed a few plates in front of the two of you to share that you most certainly didn’t order.

You both had thanked the bartender, before digging into the large bowl of soup, stracciatella, and focaccia bread on the plate. You rip off pieces of bread, dipping them into the salty broth, popping them into your mouth. Carmy’s much more of a gentleman about it, using his spoon to try the soup first. You had only planned on drinking here, but your friend at The Aviary had really come through. You’re sure it doesn’t hurt that you’re here with Carmy, and that these guys definitely know who Carmy is. 

“So…” you start, taking a sip of whatever fizzy strawberry gin thing you’d ordered earlier. “I feel like there are a lot of long stories I’d like to hear.” 

Carmy makes a sound in agreement before taking a sip of his drink. It’s just bourbon on the rocks, and you wonder when he started drinking bourbon like this.

“I mean… we could start here. How the hell are ya?” you ask. 

“I…” he starts, before trailing off. He buries his face in his hands, dragging his fingertips across his forehead. “It’s uh, it’s been a long couple of months. Christ. The restaurant was a goddamn mess, everyone hated my fuckin’ guts. And then Syd showed up and, well, she’s been a big help.” 

You wait a beat before saying, “As much as I want to hear about the restaurant, Carm, I mean how are you doing?”

Your words stop him, and he looks up at you with those baby blue eyes. He takes his time thinking about it, shrugging before muttering something along the lines of, “I’m okay, I guess.”

He’s searching for the right words to explain how the hell he’s even supposed to answer that question.

“I don’t know. Guess I thought if I fixed the restaurant, if I could fix it-. Maybe I could fix him,” he drags out. 

He waits a few beats before finally admitting:

“I miss him. Mikey. And I found out all kinds of shit about him that I-, well, shit I didn’t know. I think-, I think it’s why he kept me away. Why he shut me out.”

You listen as he begins to fill you in: about Mikey, the drugs, the debt he inherited that he now owes to Cicero, how hard it was to win over the kitchen staff that, come hell or high water, weren’t interested in changing their ways. And then he tells you about the meetings he's been going to -- the al-anon meetings. And you begin to understand. While he’s the same old Carmy, this isn’t the exact same Carmy that you knew in New York. The Carmy you knew in New York never would’ve gone to those meetings. He would’ve brushed it off and pretended there wasn’t a problem and taken as much punishment as he could in the kitchen instead of dealing with what he was feeling.

Mikey’s death, and coming home, and this restaurant, it’s all changed him. 

And maybe, just maybe, it’s part of the reason why, after months of no contact, he reached out to you now, but he’s not sure if he should tell you that yet.

You’ve got to give it to him. If anything, he’s exceptionally talented at cutting people out of his life. It’s his M.O – the only thing that’s been consistent in his life – even when those people didn’t deserve it. It’s what he knows to do. It’s something he’s learned… from Mikey, from his dad… 

But this… what he’s telling you, these are stories of connection and community. 

“And Syd’s really helped me pull this shit together. She's kinda like... the glue, y'know? I- I don’t know where we’d be without her,” Carmy concludes.

You agree. Syd is brilliant. You can see just from having been in that kitchen that she’s been the biggest catalyst for the changes — even his.

“I know you only asked me to come for pastry but I’m glad you let me jump in on the line tonight,” you say. “It’s cool to see what you’re doing now and… I don’t know. I know it was a rocky start, but you’ve got something here. Something that could be really, really good, Carm. You’re making real fucking food. Like your mom’s chicken. I haven’t forgotten about that.” 

“How can you remember that?” Carmy asks, a little surprised, his eyes lighting up. He’d almost forgotten that he’d once made it for you while you were both still in New York.

You nod, “Best chicken piccata I’ve had in my life.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Hands down.”

“You know,” you start, a mischievous tone in your voice. “If I recall correctly, you made me some pretty bomb meals back in New York. And didn’t I say something along the lines of you really shining when-?”

“Oh no,” he groans. “Not this again.”

“I’m just saying!” you justify, innocently. “When you cook the food you grew up with, Carm, you’re at your very best. And don’t get me wrong. You’re an exceptional chef, regardless of what you do but-.”

“So what? You’re gonna say ‘I told you so?’” he questions, shooting you a look. 

You shrug, playfully, “I can’t help it if I’m right all the time,” earning an eye roll from him. 

“Especially when it comes to you.”

He’s quiet for a moment, because you do know him. You’ve seen sides of him he’s barely let anyone else see. It feels good and terrifying all at once to be seen this clearly.

“Yeah, well, you always were a little more Mozza than French Laundry, huh?” he shoots back, referencing your difference in preference. While Mozza was more family style, The French Laundry, a restaurant Carmy had worked at once upon a time, was anything but. 

“Yeah. Who knew one day we’d switch places?” you reply, a sadness in your voice. Were you… envious of what Carmy had? Was this what you were looking for?

“So uh, you gonna tell me what the hell happened with the restaurant?” Carmy asked, changing the subject – changing the subject to you. 

You sigh, you raise your drink to your lips, finishing the rest of what’s in the glass in one go. 

“That bad, huh?”

“No!” you’re quick to reply. “Well, yes. But no. But yeah….” 

Carmy flags the bartender down, ordering another round for the two of you. 

You’re not even sure where to begin in regards to the existential crisis of sorts that you’ve been having, so you just tell him what happened. 

“I was juicing blood oranges one day. And-, you know we were going to take the juice and do all that fancy gastronomy shit with it… turn it into like, the same consistency of ‘dew in the early morning’…” you began to explain, quoting what your head pastry chef had said that day.  

“And I’m sitting there thinking… what the hell am I doing? I mean, who eats food like this?! Who wants to eat a drop of blood orange juice that’s been turned into the consistency of dew in the early mornings? Like, why the fuck can’t I just make the best blood orange olive oil cake anyone’s ever had, and that be enough, you know?”

“And. I don’t know. It got me thinking a lot about the kind of food I want to make, and what that would mean, and what does any of this shit even mean? Fast forward to a week later, and I don’t feel like I have a fuckin’ clue about what I want to do with my life and I’m quitting the restaurant.”

You pause, noticing that he’s just been listening attentively this whole time.

“I’m tired, Carm,” you admit. “I mean. I’m burnt the hell out. I just. I don’t want to work this hard for something that- something that I’m not even sure I believe in anymore.”

Another beat. 

“I know it sounds totally insane but-.”

“No! No, it doesn’t,” Carmy interrupts, quick to reassure you, as he reaches for your hand. Your eyes flicker from his hand on yours, the small tattoo above his wrist, then back to him, feeling the loss of body heat as he pulls his hand back only a moment later. 

“I feel like I’ve been thinkin’ about a lot of the same shit,” he admits, empathizing with you. 

“I just feel… kind of lost,” you say, and it’s the first time you’ve said it out loud. “I do. I-, I’ve been feeling really lost lately.”

In all the time he’s known you, never could he have expected you to feel lost. He wondered if he’d just put you on a pedestal. You had always been this stunningly charismatic, charming person that could walk into any room and in minutes, have everyone wrapped around your finger. For so long he denied any feelings for you because he knew you were unattainable – that someone like you could ever want someone like him felt impossible. Wouldn’t you be better off with one of those Wall Street assholes that came into the restaurant all the time – wining and dining their clients with their expensive wristwatches and fancy town cars?

But hearing you say it – that you feel lost – it reminds him that you’re only human too. 

He waits another beat, guilt filling up his throat, before he speaks again. 

“I should’ve been there for you. I’m sorry.”

There’s an earnestness in his voice that makes you want to trust him. Sure, it seems like he’s been apologizing to you for three days straight, but you want to listen. 

You take another sip of your drink. 

“I started volunteering at a Brooklyn community garden so I could like, pull my head out of my ass,” you share with him. 

“Did it help?”

You shrug, “Yeah, a little bit.”

It helped, but it hadn’t fixed anything. You feel like you can confide in him, especially since he told you that he was going to meetings.

“My therapist actually encouraged me to come here,” you confess, gauging his reaction as the words flow from your mouth. “Get out of dodge. Get a change of scenery… give myself some time to think.”

“We both know you do a little too much of that,” he teases gently, and you chuckle. 

Between Carmy’s avoidance, and your neuroses, you’re quite the pairing. 

“Yeah.”

Carmy pauses, not sure if he has the words to give you the explanation you deserve, but he’s going to try. 

“I had… a lot goin’ on. When I got back. And I didn’t know….” He pauses before continuing. “I didn’t know how to do it all at once. How to handle, you know… everything at the same time.”

And it’s just easier to avoid everything – to avoid you, to avoid the way I feel about you, he thinks to himself.

And it’s exactly what he did, he pushed you away, and pushed any and all feelings or thoughts about you into a dark hole, never to be acknowledged ever again. 

Until you quit your job. Until his phone call with Tim. Until his phone call with you. 

“I know, Carm. I know you’re sorry and I appreciate the apology,” you start, taking a breath. “It’s just that-.  I need you to know...” 

You pause, suddenly feeling like you’re in the middle of an anxiety dream where you realize you’re not wearing any pants.

“I need you to know that it hurt. It… it really hurt. Not hearing from you. Being cut out like that.”

“I know,” he admits, remorsefully. “I’m gonna be better. At least I’m trying to be.” 

“I really want to believe that,” you say, softly. 

But I don’t want to get hurt again, you think to yourself.

He looks at you, a soft, shy smile on his face, and it makes you want to take a chance on him. 

Who are you kidding? You’d jump off of a bridge with him if he asked, even if it meant getting hurt all over again.

“Okay?” he asks, hopefully. 

You’re not sure if he’s asking if it’s okay, if you’re okay, if everything is okay between the two of you, and you wonder if he means all three.

“Okay,” you answer, quietly. 

“Okay.”

read: part four

taglist: @lazypeachsoul @bookwormvoyageuse @allthefandomstogether

[cfierce116]

I Want You Around Part 3

A/N: First things first, thank you for all of the love for the first two parts of the story - greatly appreciated. Secondly, I truly did not intend to take so long to post the final part but between the holidays/going to Survivor Series/getting sick after Survivor Series/work life/home life/personal life time got away from me. However, I'm back and ready to finish out Sefa/Krystle story and hopefully begin another story soon.

*Pairings: Solo Sikoa/OC (black fem)

*Warnings: 18+ & a snippet of smut

*Word Count: Approximately 2800 words.

*

A heavy sigh fell from Sefa’s full lips as he dragged his suitcase behind him, kicking the door closed with his foot. His shoulders sagged with relief as his eyes scanned the dimly lit room, the light aroma of freshly clean linen from the strategically placed plug in air freshener further relaxing him.

It felt so good to be home.

After spending the past two weeks traveling on the road for television tapings to boarding planes to perform at house shows out of the country, the only thing Sefa wanted to do was shower and fall into his bed. However his exhaustion quickly disappeared the moment his deep brown eyes landed on Krystle’s frame which was currently bent over in front of the cabinet underneath their stove.

Their stove. In their kitchen. In their home.

Sefa still couldn’t wrap his mind around how quickly things had progressed over the past few months. The moment he got the text from Krystle agreeing to move in with him, they both sprung into action to find a place they both liked. Sure it would’ve been easier for her to move into his apartment since it was slightly bigger than the studio she stayed in. But they wanted their first place together to feel like something that belonged to them both and not just her moving into her boyfriend’s bachelor pad.

After weeks of Krystle nitpicking every apartment they viewed (she didn’t want to see any inch of carpet because it absolutely disgusted her, she desired more natural light than artificial fixtures, the kitchen/living room combo had to be open concept, and she wanted a bedroom that was bigger than a closet), she came up with bright idea that maybe they should rent a house instead of an apartment.  At first Sefa was hesitant at the idea – in his mind if he was going to live in a house he was going to own it. But the moment the two of them walked into the two story, 3 bedroom & 2.5 bathroom house that cost close to the price that the smaller 1 bedroom apartments they viewed near downtown Orlando wanted to charge them he was sold. Not only did it tick off every single box on Krystle’s checklist it was spacious enough to house the gatherings that Sefa’s family were already planning.  

Sefa’s gaze studied Krystle’s frame which was covered in a pair of short dark black biker shorts that clung to her curves, one of his merch shirts that she cut into a midriff covering her top half. Her curly brown hair was gathered into her signature messy top bun, stray pieces falling down her neck. Sefa methodically walked towards Krystle, his arms wrapping around her torso when he finally reached her. He bit back a laugh as she jumped in shock and quickly turned to face him.

“Sefa, what the fuck?! Don’t be scaring me like that!” Krystle scolded as she playfully slapped his arm.

“My bad I was too busy admiring the view. So this is how you greet your man when he returns home?” he asked as he grabbed the hem of her shirt. He let out a low whistle as his hands dropped from the fabric and rubbed over her body lingering on the slither of skin peaking out from underneath her shorts. 

“Well if you must know I was getting ready to cook when you decided to scare the shit out of me,” Krystle responded as she grabbed Sefa’s wandering hand. “I was trying to be comfortable.” 

“Cook?” Sefa peaked over Krystle’s shoulder towards the stove. “What you got cooking over there?”

“I was trying to cook my man his favorite meal to welcome him back home but he just had to come back early and ruin my surprise,” Krystle said with a playful roll of her eyes.

Sefa smirked as his muscular arms wrapped around Krystle’s waist, pulling her body into his. Her own arms instantly wrapped around his neck as their gazes locked with one another.

“Well I switched to an earlier flight so I could surprise my girlfriend that I’ve been away from for the past two weeks.  But if you want me to leave so you can finish-“

“Stop fuckin around and kiss me jackass," Krys quipped with an exaggerated roll of her eyes.

Sefa chuckled before he lowered his head, his lips capturing Krystle’s. He groaned lowly as their mouths worked in tandem his heartbeat slowly accelerating with each passing second. Feeling her soft full lips on his was euphoric. This was the longest the two of them had been apart from each other and he had dreamed about this exact moment every night before he fell asleep. Having Krystle in his arms made all the stress and aches disappear. He felt a natural sense of serenity that only she could provide him allowing him to finally drop the stoic demeanor that his on screen character displayed and slip into the relaxed and easy going demeanor he showed when he was home chilling with those he loved.

Krystle’s soft moan filled the kitchen as Sefa pulled her body closer into his, his awakening penis pressing against her inner thigh. She was the first one to pull away, her chest heaving with every breath she took.

“If we keep this up I’m never going to finish dinner,” she said.

“Fuck that dinner,” Sefa quipped as he reached for her again.

Krystle giggled as she stepped out of his reach, wagging her finger at him. “I did not spend all this time going to the store to buy these groceries for this dinner for nothing. Lemme finish what I’m doing so we can eat. And I’ll make sure I’ll reward you for good behavior later.”

Sefa bit the corner of his lip as he slapped Krystle’s ass making her yelp. “I’mma hold you to that promise sweetheart.”

&

Krystle’s small hand wiped the steam from the bathroom mirror, her reflection quickly appearing. A small smile crept on the corners of her full lips as she tightened the belt of her black silk robe, the valley between her breasts peaking through the opening. She spent the majority of her weekend preparing for Sefa’s return: From going grocery shopping to stock their kitchen with the essentials that would carry them throughout the week (because she had a feeling she wouldn’t have the time to go back later that week) to spending some time with Imani doing some self care activities like getting her nails done and making a necessary trip to her favorite wax center, she was relieved she could sit back and relax with her man. 

In their new house. 

A chill zipped through Krystle’s body as the phrase rolled around in her mind. Their house. She still couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that they were living together. Of course everybody in her life wasn’t as supportive as Imani was - namely her mother. But she was a grown adult who had to make decisions that would make her happy. 

And she was 110% certain she made the best decision. 

Of course their busy work schedules didn’t give them the chance to enjoy their new living arrangement. Mere days after they moved in, Sefa had to rush off to an overseas tour, leaving Krystle at home by herself for two weeks. Living in a new neighborhood without the man that made her feel safe and secure was difficult for the first couple of nights. But she quickly adjusted and soon found herself falling into a routine of going to work during the day and returning home at night, working to make the house feel like a home. Their own personal sanctuary where they could return to decompress and relax, ignoring the outside world for a few hours. 

Or in this instance, a few days.

The moment Krystle’s eyes landed on Sefa, it took all of her willpower not to tear his clothes off his body. Imani was right - she was dicknotized. But she couldn’t help it. He was the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on. And after weeks of not feeling his muscular arms around her body as they slept or not being able to feel his lips on hers, she was desperate to make up for lost time. 

After listening to him excitedly recap his experience on his first overseas tour as a main roster star while they enjoyed his favorite meal (grilled Italian seasoned chicken thighs and buttery mashed potatoes), she quickly retreated to the bathroom, as he insisted to clean up the kitchen, to take a quick shower. Her hands reached towards her messy top knot when a quick knock on the door interrupted her. 

“You ok in there?” 

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute babe,” Krystle responded as her curly tresses cascaded down her back. She wet her hands slightly and fluffed the end of her hair, separating her curls to create a voluminous messy hairstyle. The bathroom lighting highlighted the new copper brown color her stylist added earlier that week, the hue perfectly complimenting her honey caramel skin tone. Krystle quickly sprayed a Bath and Body works body spray over her body, not wanting anything too heavy before glancing over her appearance one more time, silently approving at her image. 

Krystle slowly opened the door and leaned against the door frame, her arms crossing over her chest as she smirked. “Patience was never your strength Mr. Fatu.” 

Sefa parted his lips to say something as he turned to face her, his words quickly dying on his lips. Krystle felt her heart rate accelerate as his gaze traveled over her body slowly before reaching her own eyes again. 

“What’s this?” Sefa asked, his voice low and heavy. 

Krystle pushed herself away from the door and slowly walked towards Sefa, her fingers reaching for the belt on the robe, teasingly unraveling the knot she tied with each step she took.

“This is how I truly like to welcome my man home,” she replied. She finally stood in front of him and shrugged the robe from her body, the fabric calling to the floor. 

Silence engulfed the room as she stood in front of Sefa. Her body was covered in a sexy red lace bra and matching thong, the slither of fabric disappearing between her voluptuous ass cheeks as her breasts threatened to spill out. 

Sefa wordlessly reached for Krystle, his muscular arm wrapping around her body and pulling her into his frame. His full lips captured hers in a smoldering kiss. Krystle moaned into the kiss as her arms circled around his neck deepening the kiss. Sefa’s large hands roamed over her body squeezing her skin as he groped every curve he could, his touch frantic. His fingers quickly unclasped her red lace bra, freeing her breasts before he unceremoniously those the item to the side. Their bodies moved together in unison as he directed her towards their bed before he gently pushed her down on the mattress. 

Krystle sat up on her elbows as she watched Sefa stand above her, his gaze never leaving hers. She watched as he yanked his t-shirt over his head revealing his intricate tribal tattoos on his arms and his chest. Krystle reached for the waistband of his mesh shorts before he snagged her wrist and stopped her movements.

“We’ll get there soon enough. But I wanna show you how much I missed you.”

Krystle’s arched brow quirked in curiosity as she watched Sefa slowly drop to his knees at the foot of their bed. His muscular arms wrapped around the back of her thighs, yanking her body towards his in one fluid motion. He silently pulled her thong down her legs, the fabric rubbing against her skin. The moment the cold air hit her exposed pussy she sucked in a deep breath as she waited for Sefa to make his next move. His hand spread her legs apart, his large fingers gently splitting her labia lips before he dipped his head towards her core.

“Fuck Sefa!” Krystle screamed out the moment his tongue touched her clitoris. Her eyes rolled towards the ceiling as he expertly tongued her pussy alternating between sucking and licking. Juices instantly dripped onto his tongue making Sefa groan in satisfaction which caused her to moan loudly. Her upper body thrashed on the bed as he continued to eat her out, his annoyingly long tongue slipping inside of her and twirling in circles. Krystle’s body started to quiver and she reached for Sefa’s head, threading her fingers in his blonde hair and pushing him closer between her legs. 

A wry chuckle escaped from Sefa’s lips as he briefly pulled his mouth away from Krystle’s pussy. “Look at you being greedy.” 

“You’re got damn right. It’s been too fuckin long.” 

“You act like you didn’t have any toys to take care of you while I was gone,” Sefa commented referencing to the bag of goodies Krystle had showed him via text one day while he drove to the next town which almost caused him to crash the rental car much to his brothers’ chagrin. 

“It wasn’t the same. I only like it when you make me cum.” 

Sefa quickly glanced up at Krystle, his brown eyes narrowing. He inhaled deeply as he felt his dick straining against the fabric of his shorts. “Is that so?” Krystle nodded in response as she bit the corner of her bottom lip. Unable to hold off any longer, Sefa stood to his feet causing his girlfriend to smack her lips. 

“Sefa what the he-“ Krystle’s complaints fell on her lips as Sefa quickly pushed his shorts down his legs, his thick dick springing free. She quietly whimpered as she watched pre cum ooze from the tip as she reached for Sefa desperate to lick up the substance. However, Sefa was quicker than her and side stepped her shaking his head. 

“That can wait until later,” Sefa said as he wrapped Krystle’s legs around his waist. Her arms instantly circled around his neck pulling him closer to her body until his chest was flush against her sweat covered breasts.  “But I need to feel you now Krys.” 

The couple’s combined gasps filled the air the moment Sefa pushed into Krystle. Krystle’s eyes instantly shut as she silently coached herself to relax despite Sefa’s thick penis inside of her. A tiny smile spread across her lips as she felt him press his forehead onto hers and a soft kiss on the bridge of her nose. 

“You ok?” 

Krystle nodded. “Yeah. Almost forgot how big you are.” 

Sefa laughed softly making her chuckle as well. After a few seconds her eyes fluttered open locking with Sefa’s loving gaze. Her hand traced his jawline before doing the same with his full lips. “I love you Sefa,” Krystle declared softly. 

“I love you too Krys.” Sefa lowered his head and captured Krystle’s lips in a smoldering kiss. As their tongues twisted around one another Krys felt the discomforting ache slowly disappear as Sefa finally nestled his full length inside of her. He rocked his hips back and forth, the slow motion causing Krystle to moan into the kiss. 

Sefa pulled away. “Better?” 

Krystle nodded, silently encouraging her boyfriend to speed up the pace. Not needing to be told twice, Sefa picked up the speed snapping his his hips forward. He bit back a groan as Krystle started to move her own hips to match his rhythm, her pussy fluttering around him as he felt his dick pulsating inside her.  Sefa reached towards her chest and twisted her nipples between his fingertips the move making her moan loudly.

“Sefa I’m..I’m about to cum,” Krystle stuttered as she felt her stomach squeeze uncontrollably and her ass tense up.

“Lemme feel you cum all on this dick babe.” 

Unable to hold back any longer, Krystle released a loud wail as she reached her climax, pussy juices coating her boyfriend’s penis. The extra lubrication made it easy for Sefa to plunge deeper into Krystle as he fucked her through her orgasm making her cries increase in volume as their headboard rammed into the wall behind their bed. The lewd making noises of Sefa’s hips hitting hers filled the room and the symphony of sounds made Sefa’s own eyes roll backwards as he felt himself teetering on the edge.   

“Fuck!” Sefa yelled out as his orgasm ripped through him, his dick shooting cum inside Krystle. He continued to thrust inside of her as he emptied his seed inside of the woman that he love before his body eventually slowed down and stopped its movements. He sighed softly as he felt Krystle’s hands caressing his back while her soft lips peppered kisses on his neck. 

Sefa pulled his dick out of Krystle before falling into the empty spot next to her. He let out another content sigh. 

“That was-“

“Fucking amazing,” Krystle finished. She turned on her side to face Sefa tracing the outline of Sefa’s tattoo with her finger. “I’m so glad you’re home.”

Sefa turned his head to look at Krystle. He felt the corners of his lips lift into an easygoing smile, his heart swelling with love for the woman next to him. He grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles softly.

“Me too.” 

&

[gertritude-art]

Progress Report!

As promised, here is another progress report for DemonVN - or, as it will officially be known, Demon Detangled: Horror at the Homecoming Dance (subtitle pending).  You can view the first (rough) six minutes of it up there.  There’s still quite a bit to edit about it, as I’m sure you can tell, and a lot of it is stuff I have already shown, but for once, it’s all up there together.

Anyway, let’s get started!

FIRST...:

DemonVN has an about page on this blog, now.  You can read it here!

MENUS:

The title screen is officially done!  You can see what it looks like up above.  And, yes, the official name is Demon Detangled!  I’ve had the name in mind for months, but was waiting to officially say it in case I wanted to change it (spoilers: I could not think of a better one). The subtitle is still in need a rework, but I’m including one on the off chance that I gather enough willpower to turn this into a series, rather than just a single game.  Gotta make ‘em distinct, somehow...

I still need to customize all the other menus, but I already have drafts of how they should look in the works!  They should be done in the next few weeks.

SPRITES:

Lillie now has a new sprite, as does Catherine!  It is only looking at them now that I realize just how inhuman Lillie looks.  Hm.  Perhaps this is a deep metaphor for how, really, humans are no different than demons... or that she just needs to get out of the church more often.

Anyway, the rest of the cast is also in the progress of being edited a bit, but I don't have anything official to show for them... Please imagine them in your minds.

POINT AND CLICK ASPECTS:

As I have mentioned, DemonVN does have point and click aspects, so as to excite and challenge the average three-year-old who may want to play.  I spent a lot of the past week or so trying to iron out some of those aspects.  Did you know that at one point, you’ll be able to select multiple items to use on someone?  Check this out:

Aside from that, I’ve been slowly fixing and figuring out all the other item interactions in the game!  I almost got that done in time for this update, but I think it’ll take me another few days to get the base of all those implemented.  There have been a lot of if/else statements at play...

THE WRITING:

I’ve been jumping back and forth quite a bit with the writing of this game, but I have made some progress!  The introduction is still getting written (it remains my white whale), but all the interactions you can have with your classmates are close to finished.  That is something I did not realize I had actually done until I wrote it just now - it feels like I’ve been writing them for forever!  Here’s a fun interaction to show you:

Aside from that, a lot of my writing energy has been spent sitting and figuring out how the ending is going to go.  There is a specific, very important emotional section of it (SPOILERS: MORDRED EXPERIENCES AN EMOTION) that I’ve been trying to figure out the tone of for over a year, and I think I finally understand how it needs to be written without it coming across as overwrought or undeserved.  I wish I could show off what I’ve written of it so far, but... it will be good :^) 

THE ART:

Didn’t do much in the art department, recently, but I do have a lot of placeholder assets in place!  Shout out to this funky guy:

I have a really cool CG I drew a few months back that I had to reluctantly cut, and so I could show you that... but I’m not going to #cruelty #hatred

IS THE END IN SIGHT?

Not yet!  Check back next month for another report on how it’s going, though!  I should have some more answers by then.  Hopefully.  

WHY DID YOU WORK ON YOUR TITLE SCREEN SO HARD BEFORE YOU FINISHED THE GAME.  I WAS SO EXCITED THINKING YOU WERE DONE.  EXPLAIN.

1) I needed to do something for the game one day, and I didn’t feel like doing anything else.  2) Doing this helped me learn that buttons can perform multiple functions, which!  I had no idea was possible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Thank you for telling me, Ren’Py!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, that’s all for now.  See you next month with another progress report! :D

[imaginarykpop]

Beginnings | Iseol

MAIN TIMELINE

Words count: 3500

Warnings: rumors(sleeping around??) nothing more…. I think

Bold is mandarin

Iseol’s Masterlist

2015

Its the first of June 2015. Seventeen just made their debut about 2 weeks ago, some would say their debut went beautifully some would say it hasn’t. It depends on who you ask. To those following the Pledis group before their debut seeing their show would say its a dream come true. Finally the group debuted, now the ones just finding out about them, well, they have another thing to say about the group. Or more like the final line up. The industry was shook and rightfully so. No one knows if its Pledis trying to garner attention or what but their line-up is definitely different and is raising all the eyebrows.

Mari knew that her presence made things a little difficult for everyone. She herself wasn’t 100% sure that her being in the group with 13 other guys was the right choice, her parents certainly had their doubts and reservations but its too late now. After trying for so long Mari isn’t about to leave the group without a fight and she likes to think that her members wouldn’t let her go so easily. Hopefully with time the Ncetizens will come around.

The group still had another two weeks of promotions, no one had asked the group about the presence of a female right in their faces, yet. They were grateful, its bound to come up at one point so having it postponed as much as they could is a plus.

Seventeen were getting ready for a music show they’ll be performing on, the rooms wall were paper-thin and the group was loud as is expected of 14 members. Mari was in the first patch to finish her makeup and since they cut her hair short it didn’t take long in that aspect. Now having cut her hair so short is something she didn’t understand and hasn’t forgotten or forgiven the company about. Jeonghan had long hair, why couldn’t she?

Sitting in the sofa closer to the door was Mari, Wonwoo, Seungkwan and Mingho. They were ready and waiting for the others, Mingho and Wonwoo were talking, Seungkwan was on his phone and Mari just leaned her head on Wonwoo's shoulder closing her eyes for a moment. Sleep is something she accepted not having for a while.

"Are you still sleepy, Noona?” Seungkwan asked looking at his female member with concern, she sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, couldn’t sleep more than two or three hours last night.” Mari said reserving all her energy for the stage. “But don’t worry I’m alright slept on the way here.”

Seungkwan pouts a little, he’s not satisfied with the answer nor does he believe her, but it’s not like he can make her sit this one out or something, they had obligations. Wonwoo who was listening to them talk sighed, he knew that yes they were all tired and overwhelmed but Mari especially had it hard with the public against her at the moment, it must’ve weighted heavily on her. The comments online were brutal and no one has seen Mari bothered by it, the older members talk about approaching her but just in case she’s really unaffected then they didn’t want to draw attention to it and upset her. But by the look on her face it seems like she’s affected more than she lets on.

Mari knew that this is bound to happen, she was prepared for all questions and talks by the company the moment they realized she’s the only female in the group she had media training on how to handle questions, Seungcheol often was included in those classes.

The world is against her, something is hating her right now, because why did it have to happen now? She had closed her eyes and was listening in on everyone around her, curse the walls for being so thin, and curse the girls for talking about her in front of her group’s green room.

“I can’t believe it, how bold is she?” One said with a loud voice sounding to be having the time of her life gossiping with her friend, her loud voice coming in clear, Mari didn’t know who they were talking about but she was intrigued.

“I know what a slut! I bet she slept with someone.” Mari frowned not liking how they were talking, she didn’t open her eyes, but she was more than interested now.

“I bet she slept with all of them.” The first one said and her loud laugh rang in the hallway, Mari bit her bottom lip.

“And the CEO too for sure, why else would they debut her with 13 other guys.” Realisation dawned onto Mari, they were talking about her. They were laughing about her and spreading false rumours. It was no secret how she came to be the only female, but people still liked to believe what their minds came up with. Tears gathered in her eyes but as she’s been doing for weeks now, she willed them away. Wonwoo moved his arm so he was hugging her, he heard them talking and he wasn’t the only one, Mari didn’t dare open her eyes but Wonwoo looked at their leader who was standing close to them also hearing the words that were said about the girl. Seungkwan took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze.

“Sit down.” Seungcheol told Chan, who had a murders look on his face. Cheol didn’t leave room for argument as he made his way to the door, their manager trying to calm him down and stop him, opening the door he stepped half out. “Keep your voice down please, we’re trying to rehearse.”

There was no one rehearsing in the room In fact no sound but the hairdryers and what not was heard coming out of the room, but the girls once seeing who was in front of them bowed apologized and ran away.

Seungkwan stood up from his place and was replaced with Jun, he gently pulled Mari out of Wonwoo’s arms and into his arms, the room was silent, everyone was worried to say the least. Jihoon however signalled for everyone to return to what they were doing or to just look away. Junhwi is the closest one to Mari out of all her members, they share everything together and Mari was one of the people who helped him learn Korean, being fluent in Mandarin herself.

For that reason he switched to Mandarin, even if some of the members understood a little, besides Mingho no one would understand. That maybe the reason why a few eyes went to Mingho once Jun started speaking, but he just shrugged. He didn’t feel comfortable telling them what the two were saying.

“Are you okay?” Jun asked slowly trying not to mess up her hair, her head was hidden from view of the room, she still had her eyes closed.

“I am.” She whispered. Her voice cracking slightly, mentally cursing herself for not keeping her composure.

“Since when did we start lying to each other?” His tone was light and teasing, Mari sighed and pulled away from him opening her eyes, but she ignored everyone and focused on him, not ready to face everyone and see the pity in their eyes.

“What do you want me to say? I don’t want to talk about it.” Mari said and her head dipped as she looked at her hands, her nails void of nail polish, and cut shorter than she likes them to be.

“I want the truth.” Mari scoffed and crossed her hands in front of her chest, she couldn’t look at them any longer.

“Junieee, you’re going to make me cry.” Closing her eyes once again to stop the tears from gathering and escaping her eyes.

“Then cry.” He said simply making her roll her eyes and take a deep breath.

“Want the make-up artist to kill me?” Her tone turned slightly teasing as she pushed her feelings aside and promised herself not to think about anything but her performance today and nothing else.

“She wouldn’t… Coups Ge wouldn’t let anyone hurt you.” Jun told her and he pulled at her arm until she loosened up and he could take her hand in his and intertwine their fingers. “I wouldn’t either, I won’t push you, but do you want to talk once we’re home?”

Looking at Jun before she glanced around at the room, she can tell that everyone is worried about her and this is one of the last things she ever wanted to do. Her presence is causing everyone to worry when they should be happy about their final debut but they can’t because of her and that’s something she felt immensely guilty about. Maybe talking with Jun would calm everyone down and make them happy. Turning back to Jun she nods. “Sure.”

“Okay.”

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Not long after they were called to go on stage, Mari was walking with her members smiling, she was giving her best smile, there were cameras everywhere and people she doesn’t know so she had to put her best acting performance, she can’t show her weakness. A hand startled Mari as Jeonghan took her hand in his and started swinging their arms back and forth, looking up at him he just smiled making her shake her head but let him do his thing, his way of comforting her. Even if Dino didn’t let this last, he pulled Mari away from Jeonghan and wrapped his arm around her shoulders whispering some kind of evil plan to prank a member or two.

“He’s planning something.” Joshua told Jeonghan as they watched the duo.

“I’m 100% sure he is. Kids.” Jeonghan commented making Joshua shake his head.

“Talk about yourself, you’re making it sound like we’re old.” Joshua said playfully, the mood being lifted now. They decided to enjoy it not knowing for how long it’ll last for.

Hopefully the company releases a statement soon, how long does it take for them to write and release a statement to stop the bullying, no one knows. Pledis however thought that if they ignored the backlash everything will just go away on it’s own, a statement is something they didn’t have in the agenda for now, first they’ll try to do a few things to make the public accept Mari and if all fails they’ll release a statement.

Pledis was put into this spot by accident but if they don’t do anything soon, Mari’s career will be over before it even began.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

After a very long and grilling day, Seventeen were back at their dorm and before Mari could escape and go to bed, she found herself being pulled by Jun to the empty kitchen, living with so many had it’s disadvantages, no privacy is one of them.

Getting on top of the counter was easy, the short girl sat comfortably on top of it a place she sat many times before, in a pair of long shorts and a hoodie that belong to one of her members, one of her fellow 95 liners probably. The sleeves were so long they covered her hands. A pout was placed on Mari’s face, she wasn’t looking forward to this talk, but she’ll be go through with it just for her members. She’ll do anything for them.

“I know you don’t want to talk right now, even if we agreed on it.” Jun started and Mari looked at him with tired eyes and gave him a little nod. “Just know that we’re only doing this and having this talk because I love you and worried about you, we all are and I know that it must be very hard for you and we all just wish you’d talk to one of us about what you’re going through or what you’re feeling.”

Mari didn’t say anything and Jun gave her the chance to think about what he said and what she’ll say, Mari was lost in her thoughts for a moment chewing on her bottom lip as she stared at nothing. Before she blinks a couple of times looks down and hums. The 19 year old was a little lost. “It’s just everything feels so unfair, this isn’t what I signed up for, literally, me being in a boy group wasn’t what I set out to be, but here I am, and don’t get me wrong I love you guys so much.” There was so much sincerity in her voice, and not that Jun needed her to say she cared to know how much she does, Mari has always been caring and loving to everyone around her, those debuted with her know that more than anyone. Everything she knows she teaches, all she has she shares, she’s the kind of person that would give you the shirt off her back if you told her you’re cold, sadly this kind of kindness is hard to get by nowadays and is easily manipulated. “But I thought I’d be in a girl group when I first joined Pledis and then I thought that maybe a co-ed group, and then I’ve become the only girl and I knew that the public wouldn’t like it, I understand that they find me odd, what I don’t understand is why they just have to lie and spread awful and just vile rumours about me, when the only thing I’m doing is following my contract.”

“It’s frustrating and you’ve been going through so much those last few months, and I wish you would’ve talked to us so we’d help you.” Jun said honestly stepping closer to place a hand on her dropped shoulder.

“But how?” Mari asked confusing the taller guy.

“How what?”

“How can I ask you guys for help when the only thing I’m doing is hurting you?” She explained and Jun looked at her wide eyed not expecting this at all, but it all made sense now.

“Mari-“

“Jiejie.” A new voice joined them in the kitchen making both members look to Minghao who just joined them. “I’m sorry for interrupting but I just couldn’t help myself, you have to know that none of us thinks you’re causing us any harm.”

“I’m the reason Seventeen is getting black lash and is being talked bad about in the media and we just debuted not even a month ago and this is all because of me and how greedy I was.”

“You did nothing wrong!” Minghao was getting emotional.

“Mingho.” Soonyoung called for the younger member, moving slowly around the wall. “Leave them to talk, come on.”

“But hyung.”

“Come on, just let them finish.” With a heavy sigh the younger listened and left the kitchen Soonyoung gave Jun and Mari a last look before he placed a hand on Minghao’s shoulder and leading him to the bedroom most of the members were in talking about the predicament they were in.

“Should I just quit?”

“What?!” Jun’s head snapped up, his eyes were wide in disbelief.

“I’m just saying that everything is more complicated because I’m part of the group.” Mari shrugged nonchalantly. “It’ll be better if it’s just the 13 of you, I shouldn’t have insisted on being a part of the group.”

“I can’t believe you just said that, Seventeen is a 14 member group we wont be the same without you.”

“Well what am I supposed to do?” Mari asked frustrated and finally it happened, after all this time, after all those months, tears started leaving her eyes, god knows how many times they gathered before she managed to push them away. Her voice rose in volume. “Jun-ah the guilt is eating me, I can’t keep pulling you guys down with me, I can’t do that! And I don’t want to.”

“You’re not.” Jun said firmly wanting to do nothing more than drill that into her head. “Just believe me, we don’t want you to leave, and you’re not pulling anyone down.”

“But I am.” She insisted, she jumped off the counter and started pacing around running her hand through her hair, pulling slightly at the roots. “What do I do? What can I do?”

“You wait, we all wait, wait a while and if you feel like this isn’t worth it then I’ll support you in whatever decision you make, but wait, let’s try to see this out.”

“I don’t know.” Mari states her lips quivering unsure if that’s the best corse of action, she starts bitting her bottom lip and pulls at her hair a little. Jun takes her hands gently from her hair and puts her hands around him, before he hugs her shoulders resting his head on top of hers.

“I know one thing, and that is I love you and leaving the group won’t do any one any good and just give satisfaction to all the haters.” Jun mumbled as her body shook with sobs, she was emotionally drained, Mari’s head is all over the place, what to choose? What to do? What’s best for her? What’s best for everyone? “Just wait until you’re 100% sure this is what you want with no doubt.”

“Oh-Kay.” She whimpers out and just hold him tighter.

The youngest three who were hiding to hear what they were saying were beyond happy, they almost shout in happiness, before they shushed each other. It’s a fear they all had, Mari leaving the group. She had worked so hard to become an idol and it isn’t fair to just drop everything and leave because some prissy people don’t like her in their group. She deserves being a part of the group as much as any of them.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Half an hour later Mari was in her bed ready to sleep, her bedroom which was once upon a time a closet, so having to access her room she had to go through one of the bedrooms, the one Doekyeom, Shua and Seungkwan had to share, when she made her way through the room the lights were off but no one was sleeping. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

“Night.”

Just as Mari got comfortable in her bed the door slid open and someone slipped in before closing the door.

“What is it?” Mari asked curious, she couldn’t see clearly, turning on the bed light, she could see Jeonghan slowly making his way towards her. Scooting over so she’s pressed up against the wall, leaving enough room for Hannie to sit down.

“Its okay, I just wanted to give you a hug.” Jeonghan said and placed a knee on her bed and leaned forward to bring in the younger girl. Mari didn’t have to think twice before she wrapped her arms around him. Comfort filling her senses.

“I love you, our baby.”

“I love you too Oppa.” She mumbles holding tightly onto him.

“Everything will be alright, so just hold on for a bit more, alright?” Keeping his voice low he told her still not letting go.

“Okay.” Was her simple response, Jeonghan kissed her temple before he pulled back with a smile.

“Get some rest, you need it.” Scoffing at his teasing tone and a roll of her eyes.

“Whatever, goodnight.” Jeonghan kisses her forehead before he gets off the bed.

“Goodnight.”

For the first time in a while Mari had 6 hours of sleep, not the 8 hours recommended for adults but close enough. More than she had hoped for thats for sure. Waking up rested Mari couldn’t be more thankful to her members. Now all she had to do is sway the public view of her and for that she needed her company’s opinion and approval. But nothing is going to stop her now. •───────•°•❀•°•───────•

When seven weeks after debut and things weren’t calming down, the next step was put into action and that is to push Mari at every variety show she can appear on, sometimes with other members but most of the time just by herself. Mari who was never camera shy, got along with everything. She tried to appear as friendly as she could, trying to appeal to the public. Telling jokes, doing challenges, retelling funny stories, dancing and singing. Mari is a part of the performance unit, she struggled in choosing between the performance and Vocal teams but when Jihoon chose vocal she chose performance.

She was made to show off her skills, as a guitarist, her flexibility everything. •───────•°•❀•°•───────•

In the end it did change the public view, not by much but she’s only been doing this for three months, she was told it’ll take time and she’s ready for it. Next year she’ll even be an MC for music bank, her schedule was set for a long time.

Mari did it all with a smile on her face, she’ll do anything to help her group and her public image, the long grilling hours will all make sense when she starts feeling the positive outcome, and the few positive comments here and there online made her look forwards to that.

All for achieving her dream and not pulling the boys down with her.

[entropy-game-dev]

Alpha Testing, v0.01a-v0.03a

The internal alpha test of Stellar Terminus is underway! I’ve only had a couple of friends (and myself) test it so far as it is unfortunately quite unstable, but here’s a record of what’s been done so far!

v0.01a

The alpha testing officially began on the 25th of January, 2023... and promptly stopped a few minutes later (after the opening cutscene) when the tutorial map - the rocket launch site - refused to load and showed a black screen.

That same day, I spent a couple of hours furiously trying to debug the code and traced it back to a variable that signals that the map manager is ready. Even though the map had loaded properly, it was still reporting that it was not ready erroneously, so I was able to fix this and make the code look quite a bit neater in the process! This was the birth of v0.02a.

v0.02a

This version had the entire prolog section playable and mostly bug free. This included several cutscenes which I’ll be showing off later, the tutorial map with tons of interactables, flying to the first “real” dungeon, and getting your first robot companion. However, although combat was mostly functional, it would crash upon both gaining experience AND trying to recruit robots, so there was more work to do. I watched my friend stream it to me and was taking notes, and some of the really (unintentionally) funny stuff was:

Interacting with a flowerbed and having the game log report that “you successfully disarmed the trap”

Explaining that there was a bar that tracked how much of the map you had explored, but finding a tile that was unreachable behind some boxes, meaning that the completionist in my friend could not achieve 100% map exploration

Having an earthly window spawn in the walls of a deep space observation post, complete with rolling hills outside

Having all of the robots available at the beginning of the game and my friend immediately filling his party with the ones that he had designed

I worked on the bugs and notes that came out of this playtest for a little over a week (see below for the changelog) which brings us finally to...

v0.03a

This was a build that was tested by two friends over the weekend. The original tester from v0.02a, and a new person. In this version, combat was mostly stable, with only a couple of crashes that needed to be addressed. I won’t go through everything here but again, some of the funny stuff was:

Treasure chests not despawning after interacting with them, causing my friend to load up on tons of materials and equipment

Having the “game over” state unreachable during battle causing a softlock at 0HP, ONLY for it to be saved by a “launch cutscene” key that, after finishing, dumped you back at base with full HP.

Some move description text being entirely too long and spilling out of the text box

Me complaining about how I couldn’t replicate a crash when recruiting a robot, which my friend was able to perform within like 2 battles - I now have the exact units causing it so I can hopefully replicate it now!

...And that’s about all for now. I’ll definitely be posting some more pics and videos in between debugging sessions! See below the cut for the full patchnotes if you’re curious!

0.03a Patchnotes

Bugs:    

Disabled recruiting if you already own a particular AI core    

Removed "disarming trap text" for now, as disarming traps aren't in the game    

Disabled all research given by default    

Disabled all AI cores given by default    

Expanded map tiles now show properly (depth issue)    

Minimap now doesn't display over the inventory window (depth issue)    

Going into the research menu doesn't crash now    

When lore machines don't give you a log, it doesn't softlock    

Stopped prolog features from generating in space (like windows)    

Fixed crash when getting xp at the end of a battle    

Fixed shader parameters not resetting when entering/exiting ship    

Fixed team not being fully healed upon entering ship    

Fixed stat calculation issue resulting in higher current than max hp/en/am when equipping part    

Fixed stats regenerating to max constantly on each refresh    

Moves that shift enemies in battle don't crash the game now    

Fixed command menu crashing due to missing ds_grid    

Fixed ds_grid crashes related to enemy AI, grids weren't being reset properly    

Fixed turn skipping statuses not working (reduce status timers AFTER turn skipping happens, otherwise some 1 turn duration SEs are   useless)    

Updated recruitment formula to be clearer and possibly more accurate    

Enemy now casts non-damaging attacks    

Polish:    

Also removed disarming text in the prologue    

Grammar issue fixed: "There is scorch marks on the wood"    

Reduced the random dialog chance when you move    

Added text to lead scientist to tell you what you're looking for (the launchpad exit)    

Moved a crate in the prologue so you can explore 100% of the map    

View/unequip moves of part in help text overlay is now accurate    

Disabled mouse controls except in the base    

Disabled warping with Shift+direction    

Icon removed on the minimap when interacting with object    

Re-enabled rotation on battle - prevents encountering enemies while facing a wall    

Added black background behind core icons in matrix to make it look better    

During the assistant acquisition, he will be entered into any free slot    

Removed Astronaut core from core inventory    

Features:    

Added control help for unequipping a core from the matrix (J)    

Added text to indicate that tab in battle inverts aoe modes if availble    

Slightly increased pickupables in starting area    

All attacks have descriptions now!    

All status effects have icons now!    

All tier 1 and 2 matrix upgrades have icons now!    

Press ESC to skip a cutscene!    

Press ESC to skip walking around in the prologue!    

Astronaut now starts in slot 3 to demonstrate you can have party members wherever    

Added scan effect to unexplored ground    

Added a sentence on the help overlay to explain what you should be doing    

Gave astronaut some moves back (+ a debug instant kill move)    

Initial rebalance of move damage and costs    

[pwblogarchive]

December 2005

December 1, 2005

when you ask- i wave my hand side to side and mumble something about doing "so-so". it'd almost be admirable- that is how good ive become at lying, if it wasn't so pathetic.

i miss the way it was.

December 4, 2005

big in ho five:

this won’t make any sense. you can’t catch your breath trying to keep up with the run on sentences. and sometimes you just think you’d die to find a period or a capital.

airport right to rehearsal. when we do tv performances they always ask us to practice “moves” so that we can get them caught on film right by the producers. but this always feels too awkward and during rehearsal me and joe usually do this weird riverdance ho-down dance back and forth at eachother and laugh. lets be honest, we know we’re never gonna look that great on film but at least its gonna be funny or suprising.

then we’re told to get ready to walk the red carpet. me and trohmania decide to have a competition of who can wear a worse outfit. i think mine won. hopefully you’ll get to see the pictures. on the carpet people usually don’t know what they’re getting into when they interview us. mostly its just swears and laughing. andy hurley calling def lepard “death leopard!” to the extra correspondent. no way that is ever getting used but it kept us laughing.

the only carpet moment of note is when we are walking by ant (the guy from celebrity fit club and can they sing?) whose interviewing peeps for vh1- and they ask if he wants to interview fall out boy. he says “i don’t know a thing about that band” right in front of us. immediatly we realize how hilarious it will be to do the interview. in which he says “you got your name from the simpsons right” and we’re like “yeah but not ashlee or jessica, it was from o.j.” and then joe does a “juice” chant. he then a sked us if we got nervous before we played and i told him “my last girlfriend dumped me because i had performance anxiety”. it was a this point the person behind the camera did the cut sign in front of their neck and we got pulled off. i doubt it will air but if it does we are going to look so amazingly clueless and retardedly awesome.

highlights:

-meeting greenday- the nicest guys ever. this band continually humbles us.

-kathy griffith telling our drum tech cowboy eric “those guys in fall out boy are short. i mean really short”.

-the producers telling us not to break anything or smash stuff around when we are playing, which only ensures that we will throw stuff and jump off stuff. duh. no matter what its still just hardcore kids no matter how you doll it up.

-not eating all day just so we can eat for free in the green room. so while every other geek is trying to get an autograph from the dude from the bachelor season 4 we eat everything and leave,

-writing “i heart jerseys best dancers” on my shirt. cause lifetime deserves the recognition more than fob any day of the week.

-seeing super oldschool fob fans in the crowd.

-not understanding half of the stuff that happened that night. every four seconds we were like “wait, what?”

-meeting Dog the bounty hunter. and being like like “we are super big fans, we’re in this band fall out boy” and him being like “i know, brah”. he called us brah. amazing.

thats it. you can watch the rest tonight.

im out here in l.a. working on rainy day kids, i think im gonna try and catch a panic show or two- i think you should also.

ecks ohhhhh

December 7, 2005

as we're planning a new tour this spring i know alot of people have some apprehensions, as do we.

let us know what are some things that are important to you, what we were thinking was most important are:

1. keeping the ticket price low

2. making a safe enviroment

3. lots of floor tickets

start a topic on the messageboard and let me know what we can do to make it more enjoyable for you guys.

December 7, 2005

hey jellybean. you're only playing to the crowd now. ive been coast to coast now. on both sides of salty deeps. and i know just what to do with someone like you. my eyes all washed out. morning gray. sunshined california a.m.'s commanding me awake. shrugged off my worries. they don't look so great on camera. take a note- where are the minutes of our last meeting? this is an unofficial surrender. but you can't see my white flag through all the cameras flashing. or the way im only looking at the kiss in the corner of her mouth. you know cause wendy looks like a homewrecker from tinks perspective. none of this is making sense cause ive been keeping my i.q. in the medicine chest. 

no matter what the light is like there are just some kids who always have that gleam in their eye.

cause they're always holding back.

- petey

December 8, 2005 

3:34 am 

last week i got to hold a baby orangatan (spelled completely wrong). that was the best moment of my life. ill try to find a picture. try to imagine a regular baby, mixed with a puppy, mixed with the song "dont stop believin" by journey.

December 8, 2005

i’ve been in the hills of southern california for a week. it’s kind of insane. it’s like fake cold here. it’s kind of wack. only peeps from the midwest know what i’m talking about.

after reading countless diatribes on the internet about how much fall out boy doesn’t deserve what is going on and about how terrible we sound on television. amongst all of the love it’s just so easy to focus only on the negative, so i decided it was time to focus my attention on some other bands and ideas.

first i went back to reading catcher in the rye simply because lurking the internet isn’t the greatest always. it’s the most cliche like me. i guess that’s why i relate. but he’s no genius or savior. he’s just a messed up kid who will probably turn out okay.

i went to see nightmare of you. it’s definitely great to see them getting some attention.

and finally and most importantly. i went and saw panic! at the disco. honestly i haven’t felt this safe and okay when i hear a bands songs in a long time. and if anyone ever felt this way about fall out boy than i can i say i finally relate to your feelings. just sweating it out at the chain reaction hoping that the songs would go on forever and the show wouldn’t end. i am so proud of those kids. it just puts a smile across my face from ear to ear. big news soon.

i just read something someone wrote. i am not sure who. but just remember: its about the relationship the songs have with your ears. not the relationship that what comes out of other peoples mouths have with them.

chain.arlingtonkoc.greendoor.downtown.continental.jerryspizza.bto.mojoes. it’ll always be the same kids. and we’ll always be out of tune with ourselves. and it might not sound great. but it’s what shines out from behind our eyes and throats. 

December 12, 2005

have you been naughty or nice? this year we got you some sweet merch instead of coal. don’t thank us. thank santa. and fueled by ramen. they have all our merch on sale until midnight. and they’re giving away prizes each day to someone who places an order that day. all the info on the sale is below.

when its snowing we think about sugar plums and your little smiles. see you soon.

-pete

12/13/05 Q&A

question

Adam Lazarra or Tyson Ritter

answer

patrick stump

December 13, 2005

Just some facts I thought you should know:

1. You know charlie? Yeah chuck chill-out. That big bald guy you hate at all the signings. If you look close you can see him oshing in the saturday video. Also, if you watch the dance, dance video you should see: travis from gym class heroes, gabe from midtown and various members of the akas.

2. The "extiction renuion" show in chicago is not a secret fall out boy show. Hey chris and andy were not in exticntion. It is a band I was in years ago. Chris was in arma, andy was in race traitor. Though I'm sure this show will be an ok hxc on.

3. Being sick is the worst thing ever besides being sick and travelling.

4. Someone in fob got punkd by the reest of the band. Some good acting, some dumb reactions. You'll love it. Check it out when the season finale airs dec. 18.

5. Major labels get a lot of shit with good reason some times. But its the individual people that work there and believe in artists and music that make it worthwhile. We got to hang with our friend adam and saw narnia at the disney theater with fake snow going... Pretty radical.

6. Rainy day kids in the process of being editted and release the bats two is being filmed and editted as we speak.

December 16, 2005

The drive down into new york city. Shut down. Were in the deepest veins across sheets of ice on our way in. I've got secrets for you. Some that are gonna make your beady little eyes gleam and shine just in time for christmas. Coast at winter. My breath under the lights blinking on and off (just like me). I look down at my hands. I never know what to do with them. Put them in my empty pockets, but for a dried up yellow petal and old letters. This time of the year makes me want to call up every single person in my phone and tell them I am sorry for how everything turned out. Got big plans for new years eve. My eyes are tired but I can't stop moving. Like ill sink like a rock otherwise. There is a distinct difference between how you see yourself and how other people see you. And it only shows itself at the most awkward of times. Snowflakes kissing my face. You catch yourself in a moment where its all gonna be okay no matter how it turns out. Its rare. Its a collectors card. Keep it in mint condition cause you might never see another one. There are braintrusts and men in labcoats deep inside mountain labs that will make sure they stay rare. And that's okay. Because then they mean more.

I saw narnia, panic at the disco doesn't need hype cause they just make me smile when I watch them, I ice skated with dirty when the ground randomly froze the other day, realized how lucky I am to have "fans" who actually make stuff for us- I explained this to some other bands at radio shows and they pretty much didn't get it- that's okay I don't know if I always do, I got some new music you'll like, me and patrick wrote some more songs, I like keeping them guessing, kanye west came over and said hey- I turned into a superfan in front of him and stuttered and got a pic, If william beckett was a girl I'd marry him

- I am in love with his words. We are a gang.

Oh and for what its worth. I hope you're doing okay.

December 17, 2005

sometimes you have to be a whiney baby and talk shit on other bands and jump on stuff and break stuff and watch the notebook and wear girls jeans and tiny t-shirts.

and sometimes you have to know when to laugh at yourself:

watch this

hahahaha. grand.

12/17/05 Q&A

question

how come patrick never answers questions anymore? b.t.w. he is sooooooo cute!! i wanna marry him

answer

patrick never answered any on here. but he sleeps next to me on the bus and he breathes like a little baby at night.

12/20/05

question

Petuur, do you just like going commando or is it a fad your trying to get going like the whole chick pants thing? I heard that your nads get pretty sweaty. and its funny cause a whole bunch of teenyboppers wanna do you in your sheets, but if you can hear thems sweat, why get near them??

answer

whose talking bout my “nads”

question

Still thoughtful and wroughtful?

answer

still hurtin’ for a dirtin’ - aw dirty.

question

I was watching Punkd and I was wondering why were you still smiling after the train had crashed? I would have looked ashamed. What did you feel after it?

answer

confused.

question

I went to see you guys at the Twisted 12 concert at the Aragon two days ago. You guys sounded amazing, and I had so much fun! I did something though that I kind of regret and feel guilty for. What should i do?

answer

depends, how cute was he?

question

hey pete, can you tell josh rock to stfu, because hes cluttering the boards with spam, and he keeps telling us to ask you. thanks

answer

josh rock is a professional douchebag. one time he got a boner when he wrestled jeff warren.

question

I read this and thought it might make you feel better in some weird way. Bukowski is genius. THE ALIENS from The Last Night Of The Earth Poems you may not believe it but there are people who go through life with very little friction of distress. they dress well, sleep well. they are contented with their family life. they are undisturbed and often feel very good. and when they die it is an easy death, usually in their sleep. you may not believe it but such people do exist. but i am not one of them. oh no, I am not one of them, I am not even near to being one of them. but they are there and I am here.

answer

that is an amazing passage. bukowski’s gravestone says “dont try”.

question

hey peter! i love you guys , but this question always comes to mind… are you friends with My Chemical Romance [mainly Gerard] or From First to Last [mainly Sonny] ?? love you

answer

[mainly] we are.

December 22, 2005

I love how I thought this was all over and I have to face the same two months replayed for the rest of my life.

my head and heart are beating the shit out of me trying to see what hurts worse.

kinda like us.

yep.

summer wasn’t hot enough but i had hoped winter was gonna be the coolest.

I obviously thought wrong.

you and me are the last hot day in summer. we’re just fading before the fall.

December 24, 2005

blue christmas

so i was sitting around this christmas. just kinda getting bummed out looking at the lights outside of shiny houses in my neighborhood and decided that it was time fall out boy gave somethng back. we decided to pick a cause that we feel is often overlooked- education of poor people in africa (specifically ethiopia). we feel like education is one of the most important building blocks in change- so after doing some research we found and organization that we felt really was doing it right: a-cet.org - this isn't some glossy amazing press piece it is doing something quietly to make a change- and we loved that. so we decided to put a couple of old and rare FOB and clandestine items up on ebay. here's the deal- if you dont see the link off of a fall out boy site than don't trust that it is us doing it- part two- keep bidding the more we can help the better. and three we will keep adding more items up here for a bit so keep checking back. they are all legitimate and endorsed by FOB and all items will come signed. happy bidding:

a clandestine shirt sample that was never made

breakdance not hearts shirt worn on big in 05 awards

giant moonman pez dispenser given to nominees at the VMAs

complete set of take this to your grave trading cards. including rare card

new:

original bleach "i am the dream" shirt clandestine

original secret order shirt

alternative press poster signed by entire band

spend your xmas cash...

oh and just to make it fun. fob will match whatever the grand total is.

- petey

December 26, 2005

some things i have been reflecting on the past few nights:

midnight mass on christmas eve is like a sold out show at madison square garden for a minister.

noone has it figured out. everyone you idolize wakes up scared to be themselves sometimes. the signature you put on your wall should reflect the content of these individuals rather than press clippings and well worded one liners that are designed to make you swoon over them/us.

she'd be a pornstar but the camera is only incidental.

sometimes its okay to laugh at yourself. don't believe all the hype- they say.

i put your picture in a frame and put it upside down on my desk so you couldnt get out.

there was a time before this all started when you were just normal. and it will exist again.

i love you but only in hour increments.

the best friends you will ever have is a pen and paper. they will never fall astray.

some peoples self esteem is based completely on whether they can make anonymous internet postings or not.

when we sang "we're the best boys"- we did not mean it literally. it is not a goal, rather a matter of perspective.

the skin in a five inch spot on one girl, that noone knows, back is the smoothest and safest place on the planet.

you're biggest fantasy is walking away from the life (they think) you lead.

everything seems like a good thing to say right before you click "submit" buttons- everything seems like a mistake afterwards.

you are cute but you are disappointing. you make a great picture but only an okay article.

in the biblical era all these "emo mouthpieces" would be considered leaders of religious offshoots. but here it's just girls pants and eyeliner.

i promise i won't blame you for your behavior, if you won't blame me for mine. next year i want to move to a farm in the middle of nebraska.

what you think is your personality is just a collage of seventeen articles and cleverly contrived lyrics. read a book - talk to someone very old - fall asleep with the window open - write down a secret about yourself. escape.

godbless the away message.

on your best day you are a hack compared to hemingway and sharon olds. you will be okay though.

its not that noone cares. its just that everyone gets scared. no exceptions.

you think ____ is the best band ever. but the best band ever was actually Unbroken. don't sleep.

12/26/05 Q&A

question

is there by any chance your going to sell clandestine gloves… cause i saw pete in a picture with them? and i want them,durr

answer

we would have to build a time machine to get to them. should we make more?

question

hey pete, what kind of sound are you gonna have on the next album? to tell you the truth, i really miss the way you were. not that i dont still LOVE you all now, but maybe you can have just a few songs with the same sound as in earlier years…?

answer

haha? how early? like out of tune with bad drums and dudes that sound like they are 14? the new record will be a mix of ttyg and michael jackson- i swear to god thats not a joke

question

is ur middle name really lewis kingston or were you kidding?

answer

i wasnt kidding but you can still laugh cause its kind of hilarious sounding.

12/29/05

question

hey pete..in one of the pics in the spin mag interview youre wearing these extremely hot red & black pants.. are those your lucky pants? cuz they look like youd get lucky when you wear them;) love ya xox

answer

pretty much sometimes i try to wear clothes that just make me laugh. those pants were included.

question

“what you think is your personality is just a collage of seventeen articles and cleverly contrived lyrics. read a book - talk to someone very old - fall asleep with the window open - write down a secret about yourself. escape.” youve got no clue how much that said something to me. made me listen, made me for once-care about being sucked into superficiality. i just want to escape, be rid of everything. be done.

answer

even my superficial raps are super official.

question

On Mtv.com there was something that said you and patrick had a falling out. It says that when you were asked about this you said patrick knows what he did and i cannot believe he would stoop that low. Any truth to this? I hope there isnt.

answer

just because its written on the internet doesnt make it true. go outside and build a snowman or go to the beach depending on what the weather is like there.

question

hey pete you should ask frankie out you know like on a date i can tell hes really into you but first you have to find out if he is bi or gay and then you should tell him how you feel (just call me the love docter)mmm kay bye ps (trust me )in the words of frankie on the music video”im not ok”pss he kissed frankie in one of the music videos so i would hurry if i were you!

answer

so let me get this straight frankie kissed frankie in the music video? sounds sexcellent.

question

what do you most rmember about highschool? cuz im telling you. i DONT like it. its not fun to get made fun of and pushed around

answer

i most remember hanging out with my friends going to shows. highschool doesnt last forever, no matter what they say.

question

Hey pete! I wanted to know if you were gonna release a dvd or something with extra footage or backstage stuff because i cant seem to get enough of you guys….

answer

its called “my heart will always be the b-side to my tongue” or “release the bats”- you can get both over at www.fueledbyramen.com  

December 31, 2005

I don't really have anywhere to put thsi so its going here: the dates on the internet right now that are for our spring tour are incorrect. They have not been announced yet... Unless it says we are playing a show on this website don't believe it.

December 31, 2005

I don't really have anywhere to put thsi so its going here: the dates on the internet right now that are for our spring tour are incorrect. They have not been announced yet... Unless it says we are playing a show on this website don't believe it.

[ccfever]

do you find some of the commentary around CC's first pro games to be kind of condescending? People keep saying she's making a lot of mistakes but she's gonna be "fine". I feel that within the context of her team, coach and attention she's recieving from defenders, she's performed exceptionally well. But I guess it's taboo to mention those things when asessing her performance?

i feel like those people either don’t watch the games or don’t see the same things we do, which is fine. i think the “she’s gonna be fine” crowd is mostly speaking up against the people who are calling her a straight-up bust. they mean well and i agree with them. the discourse has turned out like this mostly because of the people expecting cc to drop 30 ppg like she did in college in her rookie year. now people are looking for 30 ppg and not finding it, so the response for some is “she’ll be fine”, she’ll make mistakes, give her some time, etc.

i do agree that the focus of the conversation shouldn’t be what it has been for the past week. they’ve been talking about:

players should stop the hard fouls against caitlin

players shouldn’t be physical with caitlin

everyone should treat her differently because of a variety of reasons that has nothing to do with basketball

she should put on weight to match the physicality of the league

of course there’s the “WELCOME TO PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL HAHAHA” crowd but i think they’re kinda silly and they’re feeling vindicated so i’ll just leave them be

to me the discourse should be:

a fucking rookie is getting double teamed at half court

cc has been playing some good defense lately 👀 compared to her college years

her numbers have gone back down to earth but show me a rookie that had 22 pts, 6 rebs, and 8 asts yesterday

yes she should put on weight but that comes with time + offseason. athletes can’t just change their body.. even during the offseason because that can mess with how they play the game... especially gaining weight/muscle, it changes the way you move plus a bunch of other stuff idk the specifics of bc i’m not a sports medicine person. so yeah she’s just gonna have to maintain what she has right now and so far it’s not like she’s getting absolutely bodied (yes the stewie clip exists why don’t you try running head first to a large stationary body like that, it was hilarious though)

she’s literally the fever’s best player right now so i don’t know what more you want from her

aliyah boston is in a bit of a slump, hopefully she figures things out. idk if it has anything to do with the weight/muscle she put in but she seems slow. can’t grab a rebound. her shot is still there though so i’m confident she’ll figure it out

all the other nonsense about treating cc differently is stupid and they dk what they’re talking about. sure defenders have been physical but if you watch, you’ll see caitlin has been physical right back. plus all those ticky tack fouls will diminish over time.

i don’t think people haven’t been mentioning the defensive coverage, coaching, and lackluster play from her teammates. at least from my fishbowl i’ve seen it mentioned tons of times. there is a crowd though, that hates caitlin no matter what she does and is just waiting for her to fail. i understand why, the discourse surrounding her has been nothing short of insane. but she did not fuel any of that herself. she’s been nothing but respectful. but i understand where they’re coming from.

scrutiny comes with greatness there’s nothing we can do about that.

to answer your question though (because did i just go on a long tangent about nothing??? idk but i just wanted to explain where i’m coming from lmao) i don’t think people are being condescending. but i think everyone’s being ridiculous for other reasons. everyone is just dumb i’m so sorry but this is why i mind my own business everyone just ends up pissing me off 😭

edit: also some of those TOs really are rookie mistakes she tries to pass through very small passing lanes that just won’t cut it in the pros. but only like. two. an overwhelming majority of her passes are already in her teammates’ hands and they can’t fucking hold on to the ball 😭

[ticklish-touch]

Five Nights at Sunny’s Ch 1: Living in the Sunlight

Nathan Hawkins decides to take the night shift at the Daycare within Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzaplex. The sci-fi lover has always had a soft spot for robots, and he loves staying up late to goof around at night. The sunshine animatronic is more than happy to have a new playmate! But there seems to be a darker side to him that he doesn’t want Nate to know about. But he’s so friendly! What’s the worst that could happen...?

Chapter One (You are here!) Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

           Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizza-Plex had become quite the hotspot attraction for families all over the state. It was like a huge mashup of everything that made the 80s and 90s so great: Synth-rock, arcades, bowling alleys, go-karts, laser tag, dance halls, an overall retro aesthetic decked out in neon lights. Combined, of course, with cutting-edge modern technology. The “animatronics” that performed on stage and roamed the halls for fans to meet were far more along the lines of robots with advanced AI. They could carry conversations, give their thoughts and opinions, react emotionally. Though, that didn’t stop a good amount of people from finding them creepy and uncanny, especially since the place was crawling with rumors about murder and mishaps.                      The rumors didn’t deter a group of friends that had started frequenting the complex in their down time. Though they were easily in their early and mid-twenties, Nate Hawkins and Mina Tailor weren’t ashamed to let loose and have fun. Nate’s shameless love of all things nerdy and action-packed kept him frequenting the arcades and newly renovated go-kart racing; Mina’s inner Scene Kid phase ate up all the bright colors and punk-rock charm.

        In the meantime, Nate had just recently quit his overly-demanding job at an auto-body shop, and he needed a way to make some extra cash for a little while. It just so happened that there were a few job openings at the Pizzaplex, mainly for night watch. The most prominent one was for a night guard position at the kid's day care. The robot attendant had apparently started becoming antsy at night, sneaking out and causing trouble for the other staff.

        The images and giant statues of the Daycare's two robots had caught Nate’s interest whenever he walked by the area. Creepy. But also cool, just like all the other robots here. He decided to take the job, at least for the time being. He and his friends would be sad if he had to totally give up his late-night DnD sessions. But hey, it was just looking after a robot made to take care of children. What could go wrong?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            At midnight on his first night, Nate was directed to the small security office by the Daycare, following instructions to click on the large video thumbnail in the center of the screen titled 'Orientation'.          The image of an unassuming staff member with a receding hairline appeared, giving a wave to the camera. "Hello...? Hello hello! So sorry that I can't be there to greet you in person. I'm out of town for a conference, but this video should help you get settled in."          The man cut away to show two graphics of the jester-like animatronics. "Now, a lot of folks don't realize this, but Sun and Moon here are actually one in the same. Think Transformers, heh. Sun - aka Sunny, Sundrop, Sunshine, Sun-man, Sunrise, whatever you wanna call him... though uh, it should be noted that Sunnydrop is actually the name of his candy, not the animatronic, a lotta folks seem to get that mixed up... We tried branding it as Sundrop but we would’ve been sued by the soda company in a heartbeat...”          He could already tell this guy was gonna be long-winded. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to listen to one of these every night for his training week.

       “Anyways; Sunny is the default when the lights are on. When the lights go off, his sun rays retract, his clothing pattern shifts like one of those fancy holograph cards and shows off his glow-in-the-dark stars, his metal plating changes like those color-changing Barbie dolls... Super advanced stuff."          The next slide showed various murals and cutouts of Sun around the pizzaplex, and a video clip of the robot skipping about in the daycare, playing tag with some of the young kids.          "Sunny shouldn't give you too much trouble. He's probably my favorite ‘bot here aside from good ol' Freddy. He is a bit uh, hyperactive, his entertainment and companionship programming is cranked to max in order to deal with all those rambunctious little tykes. Might wanna make sure you have plenty of coffee in your system if you're gonna try to keep him entertained all night, haha. My recommendation is, try to keep him busy in your first couple hours, so that you can get your audit paperwork done in the third hour."

        The next slide was similar, showing various depictions of moon. This time, though, it didn't show any imagery of the actual animatronic.          "Moon is... well..." There was a distinct hesitation in his voice. "He can also be a bit much to deal with. It's typically why we don't turn the lights off in there. He's pretty good-natured, but he's programmed to make sure the kids have their nap-time, so he can come off as kinda imposing to the little ones. Tells them that the tickle monster'll get them if they don't go to bed on time, scoops em up and plops them into the little daycare cots, reads them bedtime stories, gives them Moondrop candy when they need to calm down. They’re just melatonin supplements, though there are some with light sedatives like pentobarbital and chloral hydrate that the parents gotta give a doctor’s notice for.”          Oh, alright, well that doesn't sound bad at all. Kinda cute, actually. Though there was one word that caught his attention...

        "But you should know that after-hours, that programming goes a little haywire. Especially around adults. It isn't anything to worry about, of course! You see, all of our robots have security protocols to deal with would-be robbers, squatters, and other unlawful visitors. It usually entails knocking them out and dragging them to an office for holding until authorities show up. Don't worry, he won't knock you out when he sees your uniform," he tried to reassure with a laugh. "He just can't really fight off his programming telling him that lights off means bedtime. He scolds night staff all the time for working such late hours."          Nate snickered to himself at the image of a grumpy jester in pajamas running around yelling at everyone to go to bed.          "You're gonna meet him sooner or later, because all the power in the building gets diverted to the charging stations for about twenty to thirty minutes at the end of the night. It gives the other guys a quick boost to make sure they don't go dead. It used to be that the power would go off every hour for a few minutes, but guess they figured that was a little inefficient, and Sunny was getting frustrated with Moon draggin' him out of the Daycare every hour."

        A short video clip showed an example of the pizzaplex powered down, and Chica and Roxy stepping inside the quick-charge stations. Nate could've sworn he saw a lanky silhouette dancing about in the background, with vivid red eyes peering out from its face...          "Your best bet for making sure not to get on his bad side might be to just kinda... Play dead. Pretend you're asleep. And uh, better hope you're not ticklish," he gave a light-hearted laugh, with a twinge of nervousness.         That sentence alone was enough to make Nate stiffen in his seat. "Wha — ??"

         "Well honestly, both of em might try to get at you. They uh...show a lot less restraint around adults. They're good about stopping when you say the word 'Eclipse' though. Think it's a safety override precaution or something."         Oh... Oh no. Now he was curious. He swallowed back a lump in his throat at the thought of being locked in a room all night with this supposed tickle-hungry devil.          "Well, that's about all I've got for ya! If you have any questions, concerns or complaints, feel free to bring them to management. Just remember the waivers you signed when you were hired on, and uh, good luck!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         Unlocking the side door into the daycare, Nate was greeted with a fun little jingle playing on the overhead speakers, and a very nostalgic sight that brought him back to his days of spending time at playgrounds and fast-food jungle gyms. The room was well-lit, with spotlights illuminating a large opening on a mural of a castle tower high up on the wall.

         "Hellooo? Sunnyy? Sunny-man?" He called out.

         It didn't take long for an answer; the golden-colored jester robot pirouetted out onto the ledge. "YA-HOO~!" He called out, before doing a swan-dive down into the ballpit below. Nate walked over to the edge, trying to follow the rustling lump with his eyes.        "HEELLOOO~!" The robot burst out of the pit right in front of him.         Nate couldn't help but let out a startled squawk, jumping back. Holy crap he's tall!! He easily could've been a little over seven feet. Seeing him up close in person was also quite a bit different than the images. The slow-blinking robot eyelids and wide, permanent smile were unnerving as hell. But...He was still pretty cute. He had spots on his face and nose that resembled large freckles, twinkling baby-blue, almost pearlescent eyes, a gap between his teeth where his face was divided by his crescent moon ‘mask’, and prominent rosy cheeks.

        Sun just giggled. "Hehehe~! Are you my new night buddy?? Nice to meet ya, sunshine!" He took the brunette's hand in his own massive digits, shaking hard enough to jerk his whole arm up and down. "Oh I can't WAIT to have a new pal!! You're not one of the little guys, but I'm sure you still like to have plenty of fun, right??" He excitedly swayed back and forth.          Nate was immediately won over by his cheerful - and maybe slightly obnoxious - demeanor. Not at all because he was reminded of himself; naah. "Haha, hey Sunny! The name's Nate. And heck yeah! You don't need to be a kid to know how to have fun. Everyone deserves to let themselves goof off every now and then, y'know?"          "Yes, yes, exactly!! I’m glad you understand!” He giggled wildly. “Oh we’re gonna have SUCH a good time!! We can sing, dance, fingerpaint, tell stories, eat all the junk food we want!! There's only one rule here! Keep the lights onnn!!" He booped Nate’s nose. Though he kept his cheery cadence, there was a definite stern edge to his last word. “SO, whaddya wanna do first??” He kept his eyes glued to him expectantly.

        “Well, what do you usually do at night? Do you have a routine?"          "Well!" He clapped his hands together. "I always gotta start by making sure everything's cleaned up nice and tidy," he patted the top of a nearby tower of squeaky cylinder barrels. "Then I go up to my tower and and spend time looking at all the wonderful drawings that the kids give to me! We can do that later though, I'd rather spend time with you!" He hopped in place. "OH-! And later, I like to take a stroll around the Pizzaplex, say hi to everyone, maybe play some of the arcade games. And it's really fun to mess with the STAFF bots, they can barely tell their left from their right and it's funny to make them spin around like confused Roombas, hahaha~!" He cackled into his hand.            Welp, the orientation video wasn't exaggerating. His energy was on par with Mina’s after loading up on sugar during one of her late-night dance parties.             "I gotta be sure to recharge a couple times at night though! You'll know when I'm runnin' low on juice when I staaarrtt taalkiiinngg liiike thiisss..." He dragged out his words and slowed his voice in a comical drawl, sagging his arms and head... Before popping right back upright. "BUT that's about all! It's your first night here so I wanna do whatever you wanna do!"

            Nate snickered to himself. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t that creepy. He was adorable in a manic kind of way. "That all sounds good to me! Well, you probably know this already, but I do need to get paperwork done and do some cleaning and routines outside the daycare.”              "Ughh, yeah I knooow," Sun groaned and rolled his eyes. “I don’t get why organics gotta have all the boring jobs.”              He chuckled and gave a shrug. “Yeaah, super lame, I know, haha. I can’t imagine taking care of a room full of kids is easy though. Not a lot of humans would envy that position.”              Sunny just puffed out his chest proudly. “Well I was built to keep up with ‘em! I got an energy core like no other! Want me to prove it to ya~?”              “Oh yeah?” He raised an eyebrow. “And how’re you gonna do-”               "TAGYOU'REIT!" Sunny gave him a tap on the shoulder before cackling and taking off, merrily skipping away.

             Nate blinked hard. Was he seriously about to play tag with a robot in an empty kid’s daycare while on-shift? ...Absolutely. “Oh you’re ON!” Luckily for him, he was pretty fast on his feet. He managed to catch up to Sunny before the bot clambered up one of the slides, tagging his leg before darting off. They kept up the back-and-forth tag for a little while, and Nate nearly tripped over one of the squeaky barrel towers, accidentally knocking them over.            Sunny shrieked. “Nono NO be careful of those!!” He ran over to quickly stack them back up with an exasperated sigh. “Ohh what a mess, which one was the bottom, which one’s the top?!���             Nate was a bit taken aback by his mini panic. “Uh, sorry, Sunny, I didn’t mean to--”             The moment he re-stacked them, the bot acted like it hadn’t even happened. He responded by reaching out to tag Nate again. “Don’t worry ‘bout it, sunshine! Just don’t do it again, or else~!” He wiggled his fingers playfully.              Nate did everything to keep the yelp from escaping his throat. “G-Gotcha, I’ll keep that in mi-”             He took off running, shouting back behind him. “Well hurry up, you’re it!!”

            After Nate tagged him back again, Sun ramped up his efforts. He eventually corraled the night guard over toward the ballpit; he'd either have to jump in, or swiftly turn around and attempt to duck past him. But he didn't leave him any choice. Instead of just tagging him, Sunny effortlessly scooped him up in his long arms and tossed him into the ballpit, making him shriek.          "TAAAG~!" He burst into loud squawking laughter, slapping his knee and doubling over. "HAHAHAAA I gotcha good~!!"          "UGH- SUN!!" Nate scrambled out of the pit, but he couldn't even act fake-annoyed, bursting into a fit of giggles. "Okahahay okay, that was a good one, but do that again and I'm pulling you in with me!!"          Still giggling and snorting at his successful prank, Sunny reached down to help Nate out, grabbing around his sides. "Hehehe, okayokay, deal--"                    "WAGH-!" He couldn't stop the yelp that escaped him when he felt those metal fingers prod at his sides.          "Oh-! You honked!" Sun tilted his head at him, starting to set him down on his feet.          Nate quickly tried to save face, but he could feel the blush quickly creeping up to his cheeks and ears. "Y-Yeah, you just surprised me, that's all, I-I'm not used to being picked up like thahahat-!!" Another chuckle slipped out, just from the close proximity of his fingertips near his armpits, making him wiggle more.

        "...Waaaait a minute. Is someone tiickliiish~?"

        He immediately felt butterflies of dread well up in his stomach. He knew that question had sealed his fate. "W-Wha?! Nooo nono not at aAAAGH-HEHEHE!!" Sun didn't allow him the chance to finish before giving soft, rapid-fire squeezes up and down the brunette’s sides. He instantly burst into giggles, folding in on himself.          "Ohhh that's so CUTE! I love when you organics have these giggle-buttons~!" The bot snickered impishly, skillfully flurrying his dexterous fingertips over his belly, playing his ribcage like a piano. He kept his touch gentle, but fast-paced.              "GAAH-HEHEHEH!! NAAaa-hahaha stahahaha-!!" Nate tried to shield his torso with his arms and swat his hands away, looking away shyly and shutting his eyes, stumbling back more. Sun wasn’t deterred, taking a step forward, leaning in very close to loom over him.              "Coochie coochie coochieee~ You have such a handsome laugh, sunshine~! It brightens up my day! Er... Night!"              The cooing and punny compliments just made him whine and blush brigther, growling in his laughter. "RRrrhh-heheheh Staahahap-hahahaha!!” He tried to shove his arms away. Eventually, his staggering back caused him to stumble and fall. Thankfully the floor was very plush.

              Instead of helping him up, Sun immediately knelt down over him and used one of his large hands to keep both of the night guard’s arms above his head. He raked his fingers down the hollows of Nate’s armpit, before wiggling them back up and around in circles, switching to the other side to repeat the process. “Heeheehee, you’re so wiggly, like a little ferret~! Tickletickletickleee~!”                Nate practically squawked, his laughter having gone up a few octaves; he had now become very flustered by the attention, his cheeks and ears burning, shaking his head back and forth. “NAAHH-HAHAHA SUNNYY-HAHAHA!! STAAAHAHAHAPP!!”               A playful glint appeared in the bot’s eye. He scooted himself down, and quickly grabbed Nate’s ankles the moment he attempted to scramble backwards, yanking off one of his shoes and socks. “I spy some cute little piggies~” He cooed, fluttering his fingers very close to the ball of his foot.               Nate yelped all the louder and frantically tried tugging his ankle away - though he couldn’t hide the shaky grin creeping up on his face. “NOO nonono don’t even THINK about it-!!” He knew he could probably break away if he’d tried hard enough. But this wasn’t exactly a terrible situation to be in...              Sunny didn’t listen anyways. He raked his fingers down his soles and up again, flurrying them over his toes. “Heeere, piggiepiggiepiggieess~! Heeheehee!!”               “NOOO-HAHAHAHA SHIIHIHIHIT SUHUHUNNYYYEEE-HEHEHEHE!!” He flailed in the robot’s grip, hiding his face shyly, trying to curl his toes down.

               Sunny let out a loud offended gasp. “LANGUAGE, young man!!” He promptly took off Nate’s other shoe and sock, holding both his ankles with his large hand and flurrying his fingers back and forth between each foot rapidly.              “NONON-NAAHH-HAHAHA OKAHAHAHAY OKAYY I’M SORRYYY-HEHEHEHE!!”

               When the bot finally decided the brunette had enough, he let go, scooting up to sit next to him. Nate laid sprawled out on the plush floor, his face red as a beet, panting for breath for a few moments. “How ya feelin’, sunshine~? Sorry I got carried away, you just looked so CUTE laughing like that~!” He giggled, petting his head.                “Y-Yeah yeah, I’m fine... But you’re a total jerk,” He stuck his tongue out at him.                 He just snickered and gave an exaggerated shrug. "What can I say~? I could do that alllll night~ OH, wait, you know the magic word, don'tcha?"             "Magic word? ...You mean Eclipse?"             "Yep, that's the one!!"             "Sooo you do this often enough to need a safeword?" He teased.             Sunny snickered sheepishly. "Yeaaah, kinda," he shrugged. "I never get carried away with the little guys, they're too fragile and I don't EVER wanna make em feel uncomfy. But you adults and 'big, tough' security guards are just too much fun to turn into a giggly mess!!" He chuckled, though his laugh had a very sly edge to it. “Anyways!! Let’s do something else!” He hopped up, helping Nate to his feet after he put his shoes and socks back on. “What else d’you like to do?”

            “Hmmm,” Nate held his chin in his hand. “Well, usually my friends and I watch movies or play video games at night.”             “OH, we could use the TV!” He waved Nate over to follow him to a large flatscreen on the wall. “They tried adding games and movies for the kids a while ago, buuut DVDs and game controllers kept getting broken or going missing, haha... So now the adults are in charge of what the kids can do on the TV. But you can find the movies under the security desk! I’m not allowed to go behind there, so..”             “Really? Seems kinda mean to keep them from you.”             “Ehh, it’s not really any fun to watch or play stuff alone, so it doesn’t matter either way,” he shrugged. “What kinda movies do ya like?”               After Nate found the cabinet drawer full of movies and games, he started shuffling through them. “I kinda like a bit of everything. Action, fantasy, sci-fi, thrillers & horror...”             “O-Ohh, I see, heh,” the jester laughed nervously. “Well! We don’t have anything too scary or graphic for the little ones, but-! Hopefully you’ll find something you like!”               Nate eventually settled on Tangled, holding it up to show him. “How ‘bout this? One of my friends looks just like one of the main characters.”             "OOH, yes, I love that one, it's so pretty!!” He ran over to the TV area and started collecting some nearby cushions to pile up, while Nate put in the blu-ray.

            Nate was impressed that Sun was actually able to stay somewhat still during the movie. He'd shift between laying on his stomach while kicking his legs behind him, then sitting cross-legged, then pulling Nate into his lap to rest his chin on his head, leading to him trying to squirm away. He laughed obnoxiously loud at some of the jokes - which in turn just got Nate laughing harder over things he didn't find as funny before. He never missed an opportunity to point out how he was the real star of the movie and liked to picture that the Sun Festival was for him.            ”I don’t like her,” Sunny hissed at Gothel’s song. “Parents shouldn’t force their kids to live in fear all the time. She’s not even her real mom, she’s an impostor!! No-one deserves to be cooped up their whole lives...” For a moment, he sounded a little melancholy. Nate was impressed; for how childlike the robot was, he seemed pretty insightful too.            He cheered right up and sang along with "When Will My Life Begin" and "I’ve Got A Dream", hopping up to put on theatrical improv dances right along with the characters. And sneaking in a quick tickle-attack on Nate at the ‘tickling the ivories’ line. He wasn't the best singer, he missed a few notes and sounded a bit like a rasping parrot at times. But Nate didn't mind, singing right along with him. The cheeky robot found plenty more opportunities to sneak in more quick tickle-attacks.

             Despite not being able to physically cry, he let out prominent sniffling, blubbering sounds at the lantern scene and the song “I See The Light,” leaning his face against Nate and hugging him close. And Nate, in turn, barely managed to contain his own waterworks.                Sunny applauded at the end of the movie, and Nate glanced up at the cuckoo clock on the wall, seeing that it was already 3am. "Oh shit-”          Sunny gasped and covered his mouth with his large hand. “Language!! Or I’ll hafta reprimand you again~!” His other hand fluttered its fingers against Nate’s ribs.          “MMPH-HAHAHA!” He yelped and wiggled, pushing his hand away. “W-whaahahat, I can’t even swear after-hours?”          “Now now, Mr. Nate, you should leeeaaddd by exaammmp-p-pllee--” his voice suddenly slowed as if he was lagging out. “Ohhh no, I should re-re-re charrggeee,” his head twitched a little, and he covered his eyes and face in embarrassment.           Nate just snickered and started to stand up, tugging his arm to try and help him up. “Go do that, then! I need to start doing my night audit stuff, so I’m gonna walk the halls first.”         "Aww, okayyyyy," Sun whined, staggering to his feet to go to his recharging station. "But promise you’ll be back!!"

        Nate felt a little relieved to have a little time away from the hyperactive bot. He didn't dislike his company at all; he was adorable, and the brunette was a pretty high-energy person himself. And the incessant tickle-attacks weren’t exactly unappreciated. But having to keep up with the energy of a clingy curious seven-foot-tall puppy every night might get to be a bit much. It might even be nice to have a break with the mode that would demand him to go to sleep.          Which got him thinking... Sun hadn't even mentioned Moon yet. The training video led him to believe they were two separate personalities. But maybe they were still the same, just with alternate appearances? Was Sun aware of Moon at all, or did they just appear with seperate programming?

          After running his checks on the nearby door locks, he went back into the daycare. Sunny was just a few feet away from the door, rocking back and forth on his heels. The moment he saw Nate, he bounded over and picked him up to give him a spin. “YAYY you’re baaack!!”            ”WAHH-!! Of cohohourse I’m back!! I said I’d come back!” Nate gave him a playful shove when he was placed back down.            ”Hehehe, I knoow I know! I’m just all juiced up now and ready to roll!! So hurry, go do your papers n’ stuff!” Sun skipped over toward the security desk area. Following him closely, Nate decided to use the opportunity.              “Hey, Sunny?”              “Yeees?”              “Can you tell me a little about Moon?”         “Uh— ...” He paused on the spot, and for the first time, his cheery disposition seemed to make way for nervousness, tapping his fingertips together. “I-I’d rather not, haha... He doesn’t like me talkin’ too much about him to new people.”          ”Oh, okay, that’s fair,” Nate shrugged. “I’ll just talk to him myself, then.”           “U-Uhh, he won’t wanna do that, either...” He just seemed even more nervous. “H-How ‘bout you just get your dumb work stuff done? Then we can play more!!”            How weird... Both the manager and the robot seemed like they had something to hide about this nighttime counterpart. He decided not to pry, though. He went to the security desk to work on the paperwork. It was mostly just logs of events that happened throughout the day; He did a lot of filing like this back at the auto shop, so he got the gist of it pretty quickly.

        The jester didn’t really appreciate the lack of attention. After ten minutes or so of him keeping himself entertained on the jungle gym, he cartwheeled over and placed his hands on the desk, looming over the night guard. "Heyyy, Natey, are ya done yet??"             Nate gasped and jumped at his imposing figure over him. "Ah-! No, not yet, dude."          "Are you almost done?"          "I think so! I'll let you know when." He was answered by the disheartened jingle of bells as he shuffled away.            Ten minutes passed, another ‘THUD’ as the bot slammed his hands on the desk, making Nate yelp. He snickered at the reaction. "Aaaaare ya done yet?"          "Don’t do that, you brat,” he stuck his tongue out at him, which just made him let out another gremlin giggle. "And no, not yet; Gimme ten more minutes, okay?"          "Okaaaayyy," he whined, slinking away again.          Five more minutes passed. "Naaaate I know you said ten minutes but I thought maybe you got done early!"          Nate rolled his eyes and shook his head, trying not to laugh. It was difficult to stay annoyed at him; It was in his programming to be this wired up after all, and he also wondered just how lonely he probably got at night. “Suuunnn, I’m not done yet,” he gently reprimanded. “I don’t wanna rush it and do something wrong. I know it’s boring, but I gotta get it over with.”          “Okayyy I’m sorry,” Sunny scooted back. “I’m just excited!! I haven’t had a night buddy since…Well, since the last one a couple months ago,” he scratched his cheek. “He quit because he said the night shift here was…Too much for him,” he chuckled nervously.

              “I see...” Nate let out a big loud yawn, rubbing his eyes. "Ohh, man...”                "Uh-oh, someone getting sleepy?" Sunny ruffled his unkempt hair. "Here, I got something that'll help!" He rustled in his pockets to take out a couple hard candies with a sun pattern on the wrapper.              “Oh? Thanks!” He took it, starting to unwrap it. It looked a bit like a lemon toffee. "It isn't caffeine, is it? It’s a bad idea to give me caffeine this late..."         "Oh heavens no!!" Sun wheezed. "I'd NEVER give caffeine to kids! Nahh these have stuff like, potassium, vitamin B and D, serotonin... All good stuff! All good for you and gives a great energy boost! Plus, they taste like bananas and lemon!"

         After Nate had finished his paperwork, he did start to feel a bit perked up. He wasn’t sure if it was a placebo, but he decided to humor the robot while he still had a second wind. He was definitely going to have to start bringing some of his own games for the jester to play to keep him distracted. For now, they settled on the default Wii Sports games. Which, to Sun, were just about as fun as anything else. He cheered and jumped for joy whenever he won a round, but also quickly turned to give a show of good sportsmanship to Nate. ...And occasionally snuck behind him to attack him with tickles to try and mess him up. The Wii games easily ate up the remaining hour...

               Until Sun suddenly let out a gasp, and looked over to the cuckoo clock: 5:35am. "Wait- Mr. Nate, how late are you staying again??"          "You don’t have to call me Mister, it feels weird,” Nate chuckled. “And till 6am. I have the overnight shift, at least for now. I don't think I can handle more than a couple weeks of staying up that late.."          "Ohhhh dear," Sun scratched behind his head-plate. "Moony's gonna come out soon..."          "Oh! Yeah, I know, the guy on my orientation video told me about the power going off."          Sun let out a nervous laugh. "Y-You might wanna leave for the end of your shift then, I don't want you to get freaked out..."          Nate raised an eyebrow. "How come? He's not a bad guy, is he?"           "Ah- No, nono, not really!" Sunny shook his head. "He's just...He scares a lot of the other staff, his idea of playtime isn't everyone's cup of tea, and he can be a real jerk about it..." He sighed. "I just want your night to end without any trouble, so you really should go!!" He started trying to push Nate toward the exit doors.

          Everything he said just made Nate want to meet this other version all the more. He was too curious for his own good. But he just took Sun's hand, trying to give him a reassuring smile. "Hey; I appreciate you looking out for me, but I promise I'll be fine. I'm gonna have to meet him sooner or later if I'm going to be working here, aren't I?"          "Well... Yeah, I guess you're right, and he wouldn't wanna be left out..."                   With that, there was a huge metallic droning overhead as the lights in the building powered down. It wasn't completely pitch-black, as the ceiling was illuminated by star-like LEDs, including hundreds of glow-in-the-dark stars and planets; like the kind he used to have in his room as a kid.          "HGKH-" Sun let out a grunt. "J-Just don't say I didn't warn you!!" He staggered and took a knee on the floor, and his head flopped over, like he'd just passed out on the spot. His body started quietly clicking and whirring; his triangles retracted, and sure enough, Nate could swear he saw the fabric of his outfit shift. A mechanical 'arm' even popped up from inside him to place a night-cap on his head.

       "Hello...? Moon...?" He shined his flashlight on the robot.

         He was answered by a deep, gravelly, outright villainous chuckle rumbling from the robot's metallic chest. The sound immediately sent chills up his spine... As did the voice. It wasn't the same cheery energetic cadence anymore; it had shifted to a deep, raspy growl.

        "Naughty, naughtyyy...." He slowly lifted his head. Nate was taken aback to see that his pearly eyes were now illuminated a piercing red. "It is way past your bedtime, young man..."

         "U-Uhh...H-Hi, Moon..." He gulped hard and took a step back, his eyes wide as saucers. What the hell was up with this guy?! "I-It's my job to be up this late, y'know... I'm h-here to keep an eye on you and the day care!"          He stood up to his feet and took a couple slow, stalking steps forward, his round head tilting way over to the side; before 'tsk-tsk'ing at him, waggling one of his long digits in front of his face. "Silly boy...We don't need a night guard here. We can guard the daycare juuust fine on our own~"

         His voice absolutely oozed with mischievous intent; as if he was a cartoon supervillain. He was freaking terrifying. And Nate couldn't stop the shaky, nervous smile creeping up on his face. Not wanting to come off as a scaredy-cat, he took a deep breath and tried to manage a show of bravery. "A-All right, then..." He folded his arms, looking up to glare the robot straight in the eyes. "What're you gonna do about it?"          Moon stiffened, seeming taken aback by the show of bravery. Before he responded with an even louder amused laugh. "Hmhmhhehehehe...I think that kind of attitude.... needs to be punished~" He extended his fingers, wiggling them dangerously close to his sides.

        That's all it took for the brunette to bolt the other direction.          Moon immediately gave chase, that raspy, gremlin-like cackle echoing out into the huge empty daycare.             Nate attempted to duck behind the cage-like structure of one of the jungle gyms, keeping an eye out for the piercing red eyes and glowing stars. Ohcrapohcrapohcrap-!! he wheezed quietly to himself, feeling his heart pounding in his chest.             "It's time for beeddd~!" Moon called out in a singsong voice, tiptoeing closer, looking right at him from between the jungle gym bars.             Nate yelped and made a break for it. "No it isn't! I HAVE to be awake!!"             "Says who~?" He started clambering up the sides of the jungle gym like a spider monkey. "You're in MY domain now, and you'll listen to MY rules~" He tried to reach an arm in between the bars to take a swipe at the night guard, still wiggling his long fingers. Nate shrieked and hurriedly climbed up to the top of the steps. He did a double-take when he saw what looked like a power generator in one of the cubbies off to the side. What the hell was that doing inside a kid’s play structure?!

              His attention was quickly brought back to his predicament by a loud THUD above him. The bot glared down at him with his Terminator eyes, letting out another mad, raspy cackle.               He squawked again and quickly tried to clamber down the nearby tube slides before running across to the other play structure, still overcome with adrenaline. He remembered what the video had mentioned: Just play dead. Yeah, right!! There was NO way that was gonna work.              Besides... It’d be no fun if he just gave up on the chase. Not that he’d admit that, of course.

              Twenty minutes came and went quickly. He’d begun to familiarize himself with the layout of the jungle gyms. ...Sort of. At the very least he’d found three of those generators by now.            "Hidey-hide... I will find you~"

            "Come out, come out, wherever you aaaare~"

        Every one of the jester bot's devious cackles and playful taunts sent shivers up his spine, and a thrill of both terror and anticipation.

         And finally, he caught up. The next time Nate tried sneaking out from behind a solid wall, Moon took a flying leap at him, getting a death-grip around his ankle and pinning him to the floor, latching his hands onto the flailing night guard’s sides and rapidly wiggling those long, dexterous fingers.           He screamed, right before bursting into frantic, elated laughter. "GYAAH-HAHAHAHA SHIHIIHIT NOOOHOHOHO!!" He thrashed, shoving at his arms, trying to clamp his own arms to his sides, wiggling back and forth like a fish on land.          Unlike Sunny, this alter ego showed zero restraint. It's like he already knew to drill rapid circles into his target’s sides and hip bones, and dig into his quivering belly with all ten digits, to really get him going.          “NOOOO-HAHAHAHA MOOHOOHOON PLEEEHEHEHEHEASE!!”           Moon laughed right along with him; A smug, sinister laugh, pleased with himself for reducing his target to this state. "Hehehehe, tickletickletiiickle~ This is what you get for breaking the rules~"          "I-I'M NAAAHAHAT BREAKIHIHING THE RUHUHULES!! I’M DOING MY JOHOHOHOB!"

        But before he could get too carried away, or carry on the 'punishment' any longer... The lights powered back on. "HHRGHK--" Moon grunted, stopping mid-attack to shield his eyes from the light, then plopped on top of Nate like a deadweight.          "Oof--" Thankfully his tall metal frame wasn't much heavier than his friend Inzi.          The bot shifted back to Sunny again; he gasped and popped his head up. "Nate!! Are you okay??" He scrambled to get off him and help him sit upright. "Well you're still in one piece, so that's good, hahaha.."

         Nate was still a little frazzled, his heart rate calming down, his face still red as a tomato. "Y-Yeah, I'm uh, I'm good..." He cleared his throat. "J-Jeez, he really goes after people, doesn't he?"          "Yeaaah, he... He really doesn't like it when the night staff isn't in bed, heh.."          "So I've heard.."          "He can get very carried away, but-!! You know the magic word so that'll help!!"          "I mean..." Nate shuffled a bit. "It’s not like I can’t handle it..” He cleared his throat, once again trying to put on his brave face. “I have intense tickle fights like that with my friends all the time. And they’re not exactly...y’know, not fun or anything..”

         "Ooooh," Sun covered his mouth like a kid who just watched someone get in trouble. "You'd better hope Moony doesn't hear you say thaaat... But I mean, if you're sure, then I guess I can't really stop him~" he snickered, helping Nate to his feet.          Well that was sure a quick change of heart. "If you knew the worst he was gonna do was uh... That... Why were you so worried? Why'd you insist on me hiding from him?"          “Well, I just... I didn't want you to get the wrong idea about him. About us.." Sun twiddled his fingers. "I-I know he can be pretty scary, but he means well, and... After the incident, he really doesn't like security guards. He doesn't trust 'em. And it's been a lot harder for people to trust us, so we both agreed it might be best if he just... lays low, y'know?" Though he tried to sound optimistic, Nate picked up on a twinge of sadness.          "Incident...?"          "UHH, don't worry about it!! It’s almost the end of your shift, yeah? Better get all cleaned up and ready to go!”         Nate just let out a loud yawn in response. The night had really caught up to him and he was beginning to feel like he'd collapse at any moment. Sunny offered him another one of his candies, before scooping him up in a big, tight spinning hug.

         “Byeeee!! I can’t wait to see you again tomorrow night!!”

           Mina and Jamie picked him up at 6am, practically having to carry out their loopy, exhausted, flustered friend, wondering just what kind of shenanigans he’d been up to all night.            This was going to be a very interesting night shift.

[qyllenhaal]

❛ Home ❜

Series: The Devil I Know

Senator!Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k~

Summary: Chris makes it back home after time away from Y/n.

warnings: 18+ only!!! Unprotected sex, age gap (reader is in her late 20s), this fic is largely fluff and sleepy sex.

A/N: I have another WIP and hopefully it will be out this coming week.

Enjoy!

After three weeks of in-party fighting, stonewalling, and a lackluster bill passing, Chris needed this. He needed to come home from D.C. and feel Y/n's sweet embrace engulfing him.

His plane landed two hours ago and he was already with her. He was surprised that she was still up, but she was more surprised that he showed up at her door in the late hour.

"What are you doing here? Did you just get in?"

Her voice was scratchy but he found it sexy; along with her pajama shorts and his sweater draping over her body. She's wearing his sweater from college that has his alma mater proudly stitched into it.

She had more questions for him, but he just ignored whatever came out of her mouth as he rolled his suitcase into her apartment. The TV and a small table lamp gave him enough light to see that her coffee table is littered with papers.

"Aren't you tired? Don't you want to go home-"

"Come here girl," he quickly cut her off to grab her arm and pull her into his chest. Y/n stopped firing off her questions and melted into him when she felt just how warm he is. She felt him inhale deeply to take in the scent of her.

Y/n had missed him so damn much. It was tough navigating her days without Chris here. There were no secret texts or notes for her to come to his office. Meetings weren't that fun when there wasn't someone to steal glances at. She missed seeing that look in his eyes that meant he was going to take her on his desk after the meeting was over. Having him stand right here in front of her almost felt surreal.

"I missed you so much. It was hell without you," he whispered into her ear.

Chris wrapped his hands around her waist/ He brought Y/n closer to his body. Both of them know that he didn't just come here to watch TV or "catch-up"; they could do that later.

His hands palmed the exposed part of her ass. He nearly knocked the window out of her when he pressed his lips against hers. Chris moved his lips against her with hunger. The taste of bitter coffee lingered on her lips and he nearly became giddy with excitement because he was finally with her.

Y/n felt his hardened cock press into her front. The desire for him had only doubled since he appeared at her door that it almost made her feral. She was nearly tearing his clothes off. His shirt came over his head and Y/n started fumbling with his belt.

"Be patient Button," he taunted her breathlessly as he stopped her. As much as it would be hot to fuck her against the wall, he was too tired to continue standing up. Besides, nothing would be better than getting a nice ride from her, it would be a treat.

The irony of telling her to be patient while he could be that was not lost on her. He pulled her flimsy shorts down but he kept the sweater on her. He is very possessive over her and seeing her adorn his sweater makes him proud.

Chris sat on her couch and she straddled him. His large hands rested on her sides as she kissed him again.

"I want to feel you inside of me," she whimpered between their rough kisses. "I want to feel you splitting me open."

Chris groaned at her filthy words, wanting the very same thing if not even more than her. The time he finally let her take his cock out of his pants. A dull ache sat in her belly seeing just how hard and thick he is for her. She touched his cock as if it was fire. Pre-cum leaked out from the tip when she gave him a few pumps.

"Let me feel how wet you are," the tone of his voice made his words sound like a demand.

His hand snaked under the oversized sweater on her so he could feel how slick she was. Something about feeling the wetness on his hand that made him turn primal. What he really wanted to do was flip her onto her back and fuck her into the couch. He may be too tired now, but he has plenty of time now that he's back home.

Y/n didn't stop kissing him even though she was finally sinking down on his cock. Her gasp turned into moans muffled by his mouth. There was a slight discomfort as she filled herself to the brim with him but that didn't stop her from bouncing up and down on his cock. He helped her out by thrusting up into her. His hips moved sloppily but Y/n kept a steady rhythm.

A hand slipped under her shirt and Chris cupped her breast. His thumb ran along the ridges of her hardening nipple. Her cries of pleasure vibrated against his mouth and she began to swirl her hips against him.

"Fuck," Chris pulled away from her lips and buried his face into her neck. How much he missed her and how it feels so good to be inside of her overwhelmed him. He kissed her warm skin in all the places he knows she loves so much.

"I wanna cum so bad," she whined.

Chris looked up at her, deep into her eyes, and held her face. She slowed down her movements and focused on taking him deep inside of her.

"Missed feeling you so tight around me. Can I cum inside of you? Are you going to let me cum inside of you?"

Y/n nodded frantically before resting her forehead against his. The closeness and bond she felt with him almost brought a tear to her eye. His desires are felt and equally shared too. Just as much as he loved her warmth, she loved the feeling of his thick cock spearing her open. Every time he slid home inside of her and his tip poked her cervix, she felt delirious. He continued to spear her open with every blissful inch of his thick cock.

"Please cum inside...I missed you so much," she quietly sobbed.

She was spent, physically and emotionally. Her sleep schedule had gotten completely out of whack and her performance at work suffered because of it; deadlines were missed and papers were filled out haphazardly. It was somewhat embarrassing to admit, but seeing, or at least talking to Chris is a part of her daily routine. The absence of him disturbed her routine which resulted in staying up until the sun began to rise and buying too much coffee for her own good.

Y/n would never admit it though. She'd never admit it to Chris's face because she does not like having dependence on him. He was like a boyfriend, he even referred to himself as such, but she did not have the privilege of even holding his hand in public. It is absolutely unfair she can't scream out to the world that she is in love with him.

"I'm close," he whispered hastily into her ear. She closed her eyes and waited to feel his essence blessing her insides.

Chris's grip on her could not get any tighter as his levels of desire began to boil over. He feels lucky to be sliding into her slick heat once again. He's utterly possessive of her. The reason for why she is wet and crying into the crack of his neck is solely because of him.

She smells so good, just like the shampoo she uses. He almost becomes lightheaded with lust that turns his thrust sloppy. The grip he had on her became even tighter and he pounded away, his length rubbing against every sensitive spot inside of her to create the sweetest friction.

"I'm gonna give it all to you," he grunted, his accent as thick as can be. The increasing gruffness of his voice scratched a certain itch inside of her. And the stubble of his bear literally scratched the skin of her cheek.

He slowed down, nearly coming to a halt, as he began to release inside of her. Feeling him spilling inside of her made her sex contract around him. Her walls milked him as she began to cum just from feeling the warm sensation. His grip on him loosened and she fully sank down on him. The blunt tip of his cock hit her cervix, sending shivers down her spine. How she feels can only be compared to an intense, euphoric sensation.

Her orgasm hit her just seconds after his. Feeling his warmth inside of her really sent her over the sharp edge and diving head first into total pleasure. He didn't have to move anymore to know that he's still giving all that's left of his energy to feel good.

"I missed you...all of you," he whispered against her damp neck. He grabbed at her sides as if he was ready to go again.

"I'm so tired," she managed to say. Her nights have been so restless. Right now is the first time she has felt like her energy has been spent completely.

"I know, Button. Lay your head against my chest."

She listened even though her alarm for work is going to go off any minute now. Instead of worrying, she let herself be lulled by the sound of his heartbeat and succumbed to sleep.

[beigehearts]

Yandere adult trio when you actually manage to land a hit on them Random drabble I came up with- needed to spoil yall since ive been gone- so ive got three drabbles Lemme know if you want Uvogin and/or Phinks- or if you want a nsfw version of this CW: blood, knives, stabbing

Illumi

Weeks have passed since you were taken from your comparably mundane life. You assume it's been weeks- it could have been longer. For the first time, you have woken up while man who has taken you is not home. He manages to stay at home until you're exhausted- since you won't sleep around him. That way once you collapse from exhaustion- he can escape to do whatever a man like him does.

It's been two hours since you have been stuffed into a kitchen cabinet. Your legs are cramping- and there's a sharp pain in your lower back. There's no way your body can handle being in this cramped position for another hour- hopefully he gets home soon. Or hopefully he never comes back.

You hear the unfamiliar sound of the front door opening, only after the multiple locks have been unlocked.

Click. Click. Click. His shoes tap on the cold floor with a methodical slowness. You hear him walk towards the room you are usually sleeping in when he gets home.

There are no more clicking of his shoes, just an eery silence hanging in the air. Your chance, this is it. You've learned how to silence your own actions- you had to in order to live with this emotionless monster.

Once you're standing upright, you sprint at him- knife in hand. He's quick but he also doesn't expect you to be just as fast. He moves so quickly that you can barely see him, but you drop to the ground, sliding against the wood floor. Your knife slices through his ankle, knowing that it could render his leg useless. There's no sound as you lay on the cold floor, a stand still between you and your captor.

"Interesting." His word is deafening. "I did not expect that of you." Illumi's voice remains calm. It remains calm as well when he grabs you by your arm, grip almost bone shattering. "It seems I have not trained you well." He says as if you're a dog.

You continue swinging, but it seems that Illumi doesn't even care about the damage you're inflicting on him. Cuts that are an inch deep- at least three of them. You glance down at his foot, seeing his pant leg soaked in blood, leaving a trail of it behind him as he drags you into the unknown. There's no humanly way possible he could be walking on a severed Achilles tendon. He should have bled out by now, or at least enough to go weak in the knees. The only answer is... that he's not human.

Your body goes limp- all fight draining out of you once you realize that there's no use. Illumi notices this, and pauses. "I'm glad you've come to your sense y/n." He bends down to your face, letting go of you arm and you fall against the floor. "It doesn't change what you've done." He points to his ankle, "It will take at least a week for my ankle to heal- my Achilles is completely severed."

Your eyes travel to the floor as he continues speaking, his words beginning to sound like fuzz. You snap back when a strong hand grabs your chin and tilts your face towards his. It almost feels as if his fingers are going to go through your jaw bones. "I expect you to look at me when I'm speaking."

Hisoka

He expects you to perform wifely duties. Well, mainly duties that take care of him. The eggs in the pan sizzle next to some greasy bacon. You're making breakfast like Hisoka told you to. He probably won't eat the food you make him, he just enjoys watching you make it.

The buzzing of the oven fan and churning of the coffee machine almost make it seem as if this were a normal situation. It's not though- the both of you know that.

It has taken you weeks to master the art of being unassuming. You've practiced doing something but showing no signs of that actions beforehand. Such as if you're going to pick something up that you don't look around for it first.

The tip tap of the magician's heels alert you to just how close he is to yo. He stands behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, "You look so good today y/n." He nuzzles his nose into your neck, inhaling your aroma, as if he can't get enough of it.

You pull a coffee mug from the cabinet above the oven, ignoring the man wrapped around you. The cup clinks against the counter and your heart jumps when you hear the coffee pot finish brewing.

The man releases you, perfectly on cue. You grab the coffee pot, spinning around and throwing the boiling liquid on Hisoka. You then leap forward while he's momentarily stunned, and bring the glass pot down on his head. It shatters and you take the chance to lunge for the door. You're stopped short when the man grabs your ankle and you face plant into the tile floor.

Your entire face will definitely be bruised in a few hours. Your head spins but the dizziness quickly turns into an excruciating pain all over your head. You crane your head backwards and look at him- somehow he just seems stronger. His skin is burned badly and is extremely red. He must have third degree burns. But he's smiling at you with crazed eyes. No, lustful eyes.

You yell when he pulls you to him by your leg. He straddles you and punches you in the neck. You yell turns into a heavy cough which turns into gasping noises. There will be no talking for the next few weeks.

"You're so cute when you defend yourself." You stare up at his untouched face and fear shoots down your spine. He leans down and licks a strip up the side of your face and brings his lips to your ear. "It only turns me on even more."

Chrollo

It’s as if the place you’re being held has no electricity. You’ve flicked on and off the light switches around the house but nothing ever happens. The windows are boarded up and no matter what you do- you can’t rip the boards away that are nailed into the window. Despite this extremely dark, and cold home, all of the furniture is quite nice. The bed fit for a king, soft and you just sink into it- which is where you spend most of your time since it’s the only place you can catch a fleeting sense of warmth. 

The warm bed doesn’t compensate for the fact that you’ve been kidnapped by a man that insists on your affection and your quality time. He leaves every night- and it’s simply too dark to try and find keys for the door. There was only one way you will be able to escape- surprise attack him the moment he gets home and run out the door. You’ve tried to attack him before but your punches are futile against the tall man. He can just grab your wrists and throw you in the bedroom- locking it until you stop ‘throwing a tantrum’. As he puts.

There’s no better place to attack him then at the front door- before he gets the chance to defend himself. Though your fists obviously hold no power against this man- you’ll have to find something to hit him with. For hours before he comes home (according to your biological clock), you scamper around the house, checking every corner of it for something sturdy that you can pick up. Eventually you find a set of handcuffs. While they’re not ideal- they have heft and a whack to the face would leave any normal person reeling. 

If your natural sense of time is correct, you only have a few minutes before he comes home. You stand next to the door and brace yourself- hoping that your reaction time is as good as you think it is. 

You hear the footsteps down what you assume is a hall to this apartment. They stop in front of the door and your heart begins to pound. Each lock clicking is deafening in the quiet apartment. The door opens with confidence and you take your chance. With a wide swing of your arm you nail him in the face. The sound of the metal against skin makes you cringe but there’s no time to waste. You leap out beside him, sprinting down the pitch black hall as fast as you can. When hands grab your waist gently you screech, fighting his grip. As gentle as he’s being you still can’t escape him. 

He brings your back against his chest, and he wraps one arm around your arms and torso, preventing you from hitting him. His other arm lays loosely around your waist. “You’re very resourceful y/n.” He purrs in your ear. “Thank you for trying your best and not holding back.” You continue squirming in his grasp but know what your fate is when he says, “Though it’s quite unattractive for a girl to be so feisty.” 

[merakiui]

I think I’m suppose to request through here h m anyways could I get headcannons for Childe and Scaramouche a S/O who’s from Fontaine and is the older sibling of the twins and performs with them or something eheh

Childe and Scaramouche with an S/O from Fontaine

note - this ask is so cute, anon!! I feel like the twins perform in a circus or something based on their outfits? But for this I made them street performers because I felt like that would be more fitting. Hopefully that was okay!

💧 Childe 💧

Childe spots you by chance as he maneuvers through the streets of Fontaine. He’s only there to complete a mission given to him by the Tsaritsa, but since he’s here he figures he might as well enjoy the culture and food.

That’s how he happens to stumble across you and the siblings as the three of you perform on the streets for a few Mora. Out of sheer curiosity, he pauses to watch alongside a few other interested passersby.

Your act is truly captivating. The way the three of you move in time with one another is perfection. It’s obvious you’ve practiced dozens of times and that hard work is paying off in the form of an outstanding show.

Childe ends up watching the entire performance, clapping once the three of you take your bows. He’s seen his fair share of street performers and beggars, but the three of you seem different. Your act is full of pure skill and talent.

While Lyney and Lynette thank those who spare them a few Mora for the performance, you sit down to relax. Childe would be lying if he said he didn’t have his eyes on you the entire time, and so he approaches you.

You’ve never really interacted with the Fatui before, so it’s a little awkward when he praises you and your siblings, noting how intriguing your performance was. He slips in a few flirty remarks about you and your own skills. It’s successful in flustering you.

Since that interaction, you and Childe ended up running into each other a lot more during his time in Fontaine. You’d visit bakeries to get pastries for you and your siblings and he’d show up unannounced, offering to pay for you.

Now you find yourself eating breakfast with Childe almost every morning. It’s weird because he makes it such a casual thing, simply saying that your performance moved him and he wants to return the favor. But there really isn’t any favor he needs to repay, nor was your performance life-changing. But it gets you free food, so who are you to complain?

Lyney and Lynette definitely start to spy on their older sibling when they realize you’re always disappearing. Between performances and your home life, the three of you usually tell each other everything. So when you avoid their prying questions with a nervous chuckle, they start to get suspicious.

When they see you eating meals with Childe, they’re both intrigued and shocked. For one, why aren’t you inviting them? Those meals look delicious! And two, who is this guy?

They’re going to barrage you with all sorts of questions after that, and you can’t change the subject because they already know what Childe looks like.

Awkwardly, you tell them that you’re not sure of your relationship with him, but he treats you to free food. Lyney thinks he’s trying to con you, while Lynette thinks he’s just being sweet. It’s not every day you meet a foreigner who so eagerly pays for your meals.

You hope Lynette’s right and that Childe is just being nice to you as your new friend. Although it’s hard to call him a friend when these outings of yours start to feel more and more like dates.

Oh, Lyney’s definitely not going to like the sound of that.

⚡️ Scaramouche ⚡️

Scaramouche thinks street performers are rather pathetic. It’s a mean thought to have, considering the privileges he has as a Harbinger and the daily struggles the less fortunate have to face. But he remains firm in the belief that performers are not worth his time.

So he surprises himself when he actually pauses to watch your performance. It’s a curious thing, really. He’s never given anyone this much attention, especially to someone who performs so openly.

He ends up staying to watch the performance to its end, even clapping a little when the three of you take your bows. Scaramouche is still confused at his own actions. He should be completing his mission, not idling around and wasting time!

But he’s drawn to you and your bright smile. It practically shines as you look out into the small crowd of jubilant faces and then your gaze falls upon him. He’s staring back at you, unimpressed, and just as you’re about to wave politely in his direction he scoffs and turns away.

Hours later, Lyney’s ranting about ‘that guy in the weird hat’ while you tally up the Mora you’ve accumulated throughout the day. Your giggle cuts him off and you assure him that it’s nothing he should worry about. He didn’t look to be a Fontaine local anyways, so he probably didn’t understand the performance.

It’s a few days later when you encounter Hat Man (as Lyney and Lynette have dubbed him) again and he shoves something into your hands after the performance, looking all huffy and red in the face. You assume he’s angry because of how much he grumbles under his breath, but then he swiftly walks away before you can even start a conversation.

Lyney just about has a fit when he sees the beautiful bouquet in your hands. “I knew that guy was up to no good, trying to put the moves on my sibling! He’s got that shady Fatui symbol on his outfit, too. I just know he’s plotting something...” Lynette simply places her hand on his shoulder, smiling calmly and saying, “Well, I don’t see any issue with it. We’re given all sorts of things after a performance. Flowers are normal.”

You don’t see or hear from Scaramouche until later in the week when you’re out for a walk. He recognizes you for your unique attire and you spot his gaudy hat. The both of you stop and stare at one another in the plaza, frozen for a few seconds.

You rush over to him before he can walk away, grabbing his hand and shaking it heartily. You’re thanking him for the flowers while he struggles to look stern.

“I don’t usually get bouquets, you know,” you admit after you’ve released his hand. “My sister usually gets those. She’s quite popular.”

“Is that so?” Scaramouche raises a brow, wondering whether or not he should continue to entertain you, a performer. But you’re different from all of the other beggars he’s come across.

Nodding, you add, “I’ve got some Mora left over from yesterday’s performance, so why don’t we get something to eat? It’ll be my treat.”

Oddly enough, he doesn’t want to decline your offer. Even though he should remain loyal to his mission and schedule, he can’t be bothered to focus on that right now.

Scaramouche, the man who viewed performers with such contempt, agrees to get lunch with you. And to his surprise it isn’t as bad as he thought it would be. How odd. Fontaine seems to be full of new surprises for him.

[swbumblebee]

The group of Jedi Generals and senior clone officers were clustered together in the hanger, watching with keen eyes as troops from both the 212th and the 501st were suiting up and organising themselves into ground teams, ready to ship out.

Marshall Commander Cody let the usual Skywalker/Tano banter wash over him, as much background noise as the whirring of machinery and the thud of boots. Instead he focused his gaze on his own General, who was standing silently with an uncharacteristically distant look on his face.

“Sir, everything alright?” he asked in a low voice, positioning himself so the question was as private as possible.

The Jedi didn’t move for a solid twenty seconds.

Cody dithered.

“Sir?”

“Hmmm?!”

General Kenobi finally acknowledged him, seemingly quite startled to find Cody so close. “Oh ah, yes. Sorry Cody I’m just…” he trailed off, and Cody watched with a sinking feeling as the vacant look took over his face once more.

He was starting to recognise that look:

Force Oisk was going down.

“Padawan” the General cleared his throat suddenly and Cody was instantly alert.

To his amusement, both the younger Jedi looked up at the summons, stopping their horsing around immediately.

“Would you run and fetch my Shoto from my room please?” the senior Jedi asked politely, addressing Commander Tano.

Both younger people looked at him with the most confusing expressions. General Skywalker tilted his head in surprise and Commander Tano’s eyes widened in excitement as a smile formed.

“Really?” She asked in an endearingly childish tone, as if her Grand Master had just announced life day had come early. Cody half expected her to start bouncing on the balls of her feet.

General Kenobi only hummed in confirmation, tilting his head as if listening to something. If he wasn’t so used to the aforementioned Force Oisk, it would have been decidedly creepy to Cody.

“Yes…” he tapped his chin thoughtfully. “I’m not quite…but…yes” the General finally said, nodding firmly once at the end of his sentence. “Would you mind?”  

“Err Sure! I’ll go get it now!” she exclaimed enthusiastically. Turning back to the group seemingly as an afterthought, halfway to the doors, “I call Master Obi-Wan’s squad!” she called as she bounded out.  

General Kenobi shook his head fondly.

“Sorry, Sir…what’s a shoto?” Cody asked, hoping to jump in before it became any more of A Thing.

“Ah apologies Cody, that was rude of me” his C.O apologised. “A Shoto is a second lightsaber blade, slightly shorter than a main sabre. One uses it when performing double bladed fighting forms.”

Cody blinked.

He knew there were Jedi who had two sabers, Commander Tano for instance, but he’d never seen his own use anything other than his trademark single azure blade. Force knows he was lethal enough with it.

“Yeah, Jar’Kai” General Skywalker chimed in. “Master’s really good at it.”

Of course he was. Cody would have been surprised if his breathtakingly competent General was bad at anything.

“I don’t suppose it’s telling you why?” Skywalker asked drily.

“Unfortunately not” his Master replied flatly.

Before Cody could ask what the hell they were talking about now, Commander Tano positively skipped back over to them waving a lightsaber hilt that was slightly stubbier than the one Cody was used to seeing.  

“I’ve got it!”

It would’ve been a very cold person who didn’t smile at the enthusiasm of the young Jedi, and like the sun coming out from behind the clouds Cody’s General gave a soft smile as he took the hilt in his hands, briskly clipping it to his belt.

“Thank you Ahsoka.” The senior Jedi cleared his throat “hopefully I won’t have call to use it but” he shrugged “at least I can be prepared.”

Cody had A Bad Feeling about this.

“Master please can I go with Master Obi-Wan?” Commander Tano’s excited plea cut off his next question as she bounced in front of Skywalker, who rolled his eyes.

“I hope you’re as excited to hang out with me one day” he teased.

“We’ll hardly be ‘hanging out’” General Kenobi corrected. “But, Anakin if you have no objections, Ahsoka you’re with me.”

Skywalker nodded and shook his head fondly as Commander Tano punched the air.    

“Try and learn something Snips” he tugged playfully on her Padawan beads “I’ll see you later.” He looked at them all, suddenly serious “May the Force be with us.”

---

Cody had tried to prize an explanation from his mystic Jedi before they found themselves in the middle of the fray:

“General, why did you have to bring your shoto blade?”

He got a shrug in return.

“The Force told me to.”

Well. Ask a silly question.

But an hour or so later, as Cody paused (rather unprofessionally) mid-way through kicking a clanker into the other end of next week, it became apparent that the Force knew what it was doing.

Gradually the others around him, separatist and clone, were pausing and looking up as one, as on the top of a low building just up ahead their General was showing them just what this “Jar’Kai form” in the hands of a Jedi Master could do.

Once the spectacle had caught his attention Cody found he couldn’t look away; his General was moving almost faster than the eye could follow; blue and yellow blurs following him as he quite simply decimated the forces in between him and his goals; both the rusty old bastard that was Grievous, and the all-important controls for the shield generator.

Flips, turns, twists and jumps. So far away from his usual contained, tight style. Every so often the sun glinted off red hair, highlighting intense blue eyes and a determined grimace that spoke of utmost concentration, and the whole picture looked like a scene from one of the stained glass windows Cody once saw in a place of worship on some long forgotten planet.

He could’ve stared at the scene quite happily for hours.

“Still with us Commander?”

Waxer’s voice, clearly amused, in his ear brought him crashing back down to earth.

He cleared his throat, infinitely glad his helmet concealed his blush at being court staring (he did not moon, thank you very much Rex).

“Lieutenant. Keep that flank covered” he instructed, with a vicious kick to a nearby grenade bot.

Waxer, the impertinent shit, snorted in his ear.

“Don’t you worry Codes, if you ask Tano nicely she might let you borrow her recording. Maybe just tell her you also want some pointers on your Lightsaber work.”

That little-

The click of the radio signaled the dead air that met his insults.

---

There was no denying the very small voice at the back of the Commander’s mind that was seriously considering nabbing the footage, but by the end of the battle reality was sinking in. It occurred to Cody that there were now twice as many lightsabers to catch when they inevitably fell from a great and dangerous height.

Wonderfull.

[doublekrecs]

Going Live

Spencer Reid x Reader

Synopsis: You're an intern for the FBI but double as a camgirl in your spare time. You thought you kept things pretty well under wraps but who knew one of your mentors watched you all along. 

Warnings: smut, unprotected p in v action (remember to wrap it), face fucking, use of sex toys, tiny bit of degrading

a/n: writing this in the setting of season 10/11 because spencer looks so damn good and i wanted to include my girl tara

also part 2 of more than physics should be up later today! hope you enjoy -🧞‍♀️

You had been a paid intern for the FBI for about a year, paid being said lightly. But the job was definitely worth it. While being under the wing of the BAU you had not only learned so much about your hopefully future profession, but you had made a family with the team. Especially under the wing of Tara Lewis, she had been there for a little while but you looked up to her work and she was more than happy to offer advice and a good wine night.

The team knew you had a second job on the side but weren’t exactly sure what it was, just that you worked from home. They respected your personal life enough to stay out of it, however that didn’t stop Rossi from offering you a little extra because “that's what uncles are supposed to do”. You would always wave him off and say you could handle yourself, because you could. 

You thoroughly enjoyed working. The money and gifts were obviously a big reward but there was always something so exciting about being on camera. Maybe it was how risque it was, being exposed for thousands to see. Or the fact that many were pleasuring themselves to the sight of you.

It was Friday night and you were getting your setup ready. You already had your outfit and glam on. Someone had sent you a set from your wishlist, lilac lace hugged your body in all the right places, accentuating all your assets and boosting your confidence. In your hair were the same color streaks you did with a tinting spray. You set the camera and laptop up in front of your bed. Silk sheets and plush pillows behind you where you could rest comfortably before your show started. 

Little did you know across town Spencer Reid was getting ready to tune in to said show. He was never one for tech, having Garcia still hand him paper files and would refuse to upgrade his phone. He had gotten a computer just so he could video chat with doctors quickly about new medicine for his mother. However he quickly found out there was so much more the internet had to offer.

_

He had stumbled across your show one lonely night. Spencer couldn’t see himself going out to find a one night stand so the pleasure of his hand it was. He was looking through videos when he saw the thumbnail with a girl wearing glasses similar to the ones you wear when you forget contacts. His curiosity got the best of him and if he was a cat he’d be one life down. He couldn’t believe the sight on the screen in his lap. 

There you were the bubbly intern, body trembling as waves of pleasure washed over you from the pink wand you held over your clit. He was delightfully flustered and the moans spilling from the computer’s speakers weren’t doing much to help.

He was entranced by you writhing in pleasure but was knocked back into reality after hearing you giggle. God he loved when you made that noise in the office, usually after fake flirting with Hotch or hearing about JJ’s boys. But this situation was totally different and if he was honest with himself he was very into it. 

You reached over to grab a large pink dildo. Taking it in your mouth before swiping it through your folds. It easily slipped in and you started rapidly pumping it into you chasing your orgasm. 

Spencer was too enthralled to even think about touching himself. He was using the gift which was his eidetic memory to the best of his ability to make this something he’d never forget. 

You came with a loud moan, hips lifting and grinding against the toy to chase the friction. Quickly you turned off the wand and took the toy out. You sat up and looked into the camera before sucking it off. Spencer's eyes widened as he let out a groan shifting on his bed. 

“Alright guys that was fun for tonight,” you said as you sat criss cross on the bed. “I didn’t think I’d be able to get to five.”

FIVE?? He thought in his head. He felt like he was gonna explode just watching those last few minutes. How was he supposed to last watching you make yourself cum five times. 

“Thank you so much for all the tips and support! My links are all in the description and I’ll see you angels next Friday! Muahh” you signed off blowing the camera a kiss. 

Spencer knew it was wrong of him to view a coworker in such an exposed light but he couldn’t help himself. So he spent the night viewing some of your old videos which brought him to what he swears to be the best orgasm of his life. Of course he sent gracious tips and made sure to buy little items off the wishlist, mentally noting to return every Friday night. Even if it meant hiding in the bathroom from Morgan in their shared hotel room on cases. That was two months ago. 

_

Just as you finished your session the phone rang signaling a case. Quickly you got in the shower and put on comfy business clothes since you usually stayed with Garcia doing extra research and taking notes. You quickly grabbed your bag and keys, making your way straight to the office. 

In the elevator you heard someone calling to keep it open. Spencer made his way in, buttoning his cardigan and adjusting his bag, quickly saying thank you. You pressed the button to the floor as you felt a pair of eyes on you. Looking over Spencer was eyeing you with a confused look on his face. You were about to question him when he spoke up first. 

“I thought you had streaks in your hair”

“I did… Earlier tonight but they washed out.” He looked even more confused, then his brain put two and two together. He just realized what he had said. For a genius this wasn’t one of his brightest moments. 

You looked at him amused as a deep blush spread from his neck to the tips of his ears. There was only one way someone would know about your quick hair change: by watching your show. The door to the elevator opened and you walked out giggling as he started sputtering apologies behind you. You quickly cut him off. 

“Spence, it's alright. If you want we can talk about this later because right now you have a bad guy to catch. But may I suggest making your name something less obvious, not that I don’t love ‘magiclover187’.” He stood there mouth gaping as you patted his shoulder and walked up to the conference room to meet the rest of the team. 

_

The case was one of the easier ones. Very minimal killing and the team was back by Tuesday morning, ready for a week of paperwork. Spencer had been dancing around you the whole time, he could barely keep eye contact with you and would rush to leave the room if you walked in. If he was this flushed around you with clothes on you could just imagine how much of a mess he would be when he watched you perform. Which brought an idea to your head. 

Friday rolled around and you walked over to his desk where he was nose deep in one of his Russian books. You put your hand in it to bring it down. Once he noticed it was you he was about to start with another ramble of apologies when you stopped him.

“Alright I’m tired of the awkwardness and I want my friend back,” you said with a soft smile. “Why don’t you come over tonight and we can have that talk. I’ll even order a pizza and we can watch Doctor Who.”

“Y/n are you sure? I-I mean it is um uh Friday.. And ya know you usually film,” he said as he played with his tie. 

You giggled at how nervous he was. Poor little genius didn’t know he was the only one with tricks up their sleeve. 

“It’s fine I promise. Just a night with my favorite customer,” you said winking at him. He choked and looked around to see if anyone was looking at his outburst.

“I’m kidding.. Sort of,” you trailed off. “But I mean it about you coming over. I’m going home now but I expect you there in an hour with drinks.”

With that you turned around and walked off, adding a little extra sway to your hips. Obviously that did the trick as you heard a small groan behind you. Spencer dropped his head back as he started wracking his brain to figure out how to live through the night without making a bigger fool of himself or cuming in his pants. 

_

You know maybe you were evil, you thought to yourself as you put on the finishing touches to your outfit for the night. Once you got home you sped into the shower to freshen up for him to come over and get your setup ready. You were wearing a cream colored strappy bodysuit. Over it was a large cardigan, almost resembling the maroon one he owned, strange. To top it off you were wearing your glasses and your legs were adorned with your favorite thigh high socks. 

The three knocks on the door instantly made a smirk appear on your face. This might just be one of your best schemes yet. Looking through the peephole you saw Spencer gnawing on his bottom lip holding a few bottles of soda. Taking a deep breath you opened the door greeting him with all the casualty in the world. 

“Hey! I’m glad you came, come in.”

He followed you in and tried to keep his eyes above your neck, trying to act like he wasn’t getting completely hard by just your outfit.  You sat down on your couch and patted it for him to sit next to you. He took the seat and gulped not really sure what you had planned. 

“Um how long for the pizza to get here?” 

“The pizza’s not coming Spence,” you said shaking your head. “But you are.”

You leaned forward to place your hand on his on the couch. “I want you to fuck me on camera Spencer,” you said with sweet confidence, fluttering your lashes. His eyes kept flashing between your cleavage showing through the cardigan and your lips before finally landing on your eyes. He didn’t see a single hint of humor in them, nothing transparent but lust. 

He pulled his hand from under yours to place in your hair, pulling you into a heated kiss. You pushed back on his chest a bit to try and get some air. 

“Save that magic for the show,” you said as you pulled him up to lead to your bedroom. 

The camera was set at a little bit of a lower angle. The audience would just be able to see you and at most Spencer’s chest. You had made sure it was fine and even turned it on as a test so he could see what he looked like. After you got everything out of the way you hit the button to go live and instantly people started flooding in. If the bulge in his pants told you anything, it was that he was excited to be on the other side of the screen this time. 

“Hello my angels!” you said into the camera, Spencer was taken back at what was going on. After months of lusting over the young intern he was finally seeing the show in person. 

“Today I have a special guest with me. My very good friend, the Doctor,” you took his hand to pull him into frame. “He’s very excited to be here,” you said, hand moving down to palm him through his pants. 

His hand reached out and wrapped around your throat, making you look up at him. Huh. This was a new Spencer you wouldn’t mind seeing more often.

“Let's not play games princess. Or else the only thing making you cum tonight are your pathetic little fingers. Am I clear?”

You shivered at the intensity of his voice instantly trying to nod the best you could within his grip. He let go and you went back to task at hand, undoing his pants and pulling them down along with his boxers. He was long and pink. Precum already spilling out of the pretty tip, you couldn’t wait to have him in your mouth, among other places. You wasted no time in licking a broad stripe along a vein under it. His hand went to grab a handful of your hair giving it a testing tug as a warning to stop teasing. 

Your hand went to grip what couldn’t fit in your mouth but you tried your best to take him all in. You could hear the pings of tips and comments being said. Spencer could too and leaned over slightly to read them. 

“Face fuck her,” he murmured. He pulled you off of his cock and looked down into your eyes, “Is that what you want princess? Hm.” His thumb went to clean up the spit dripping down your chin before rubbing your lips. “You want me to fuck your face?”, he said in a condescendingly sweet voice. 

“Yes Doctor please! Fuck my throat.” 

“Good girl.”

Both his hands made their place nested in your hair, guiding you to his cock. He wasted no time in being brutal. Tears were leaking down your cheeks as he kept on hitting the back of your throat. Spencer was enjoying himself to the fullest letting out curses and praises at how good your mouth felt. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer and you could feel it too as he started to throb in your mouth. He then pulled you off, a trail of spit connected from your lips and his cock. 

“Such a dirty whore for me. Show everyone how messy I make you,” he took your head and made you turn to look in the camera. Comments pinged talking about how pretty you looked with mascara running and smudged lipstick. 

“Thank them and ask if you deserve to cum on my cock,” Who knew Spencer had this in him. But you were loving every second of it and put on your best pair of puppy dog eyes to beg the camera for Spencer to split you in half. And you had no shame in doing so. 

“Please let the Doctor fuck me. I’ve been such a good girl for you guys,” you pleaded into the camera. The audience was pleased with your begging as they said you deserved it for being so good. 

Spencer took his time in unbuttoning the cardigan you had on, teasingly rubbing your arms as he slipped it off. His hands then went to the bodice of it, groping your breasts and teasing your nipples through the fabric. 

“Ah shit doctor, please fuck me already.”

Who was he to deny you of such a thing when you asked so nicely. He pushed you back down on the silk sheets. Pulling you by your thighs to the end of the bed where he moved the thong of the bodysuit to the side and slid his cock up your folds. Lubricating it in your juices before slipping right in. You both gasped at the intrusion, his hands grabbing your hips with a force sure to leave bruises. He used the leverage to set a brutal pace, ramming his cock into you. 

Your ears were ringing from the pleasure but you could hear the constant pings of your tip box and comment section flooding. 

“Shit baby you’re so tight. Perfect little pussy squeezing me so good.” You babled off thank yous and whimpers from being so close to your climax.

 You felt Spencer stop for a second and reach over to grab something. Then you felt it. Your wand set to the highest setting placed on your clit as he started to thrust into you again. Sounds of your moans and skin slapping together filled the room along with the buzzing of the vibrator. You were sure there was going to be a noise complaint notice on your door in the morning. 

You were so close to having the bubble in your stomach burst and so was he. 

“I'm gonna cum Doctor,” you practically yelled. “Please cum inside me!”

“Cmon princess. Let me feel you let go.”

With that the knot broke and you swore you died and went to heaven. Your walls squeezing Spencer led him to his end a little after you. Thrusts faltering and groaning at the feeling of pleasure washing over him. He turned off the wand and put it to the side before slipping out of you. 

Looking into the camera you gasped at your appearance. Hair disheveled and face messy from crying in pleasure multiple times that night. Your mixed release leaking down your thigh and onto the sheets. 

There were non stop pings of people calling Spencer a lucky bastard and asking for him to come back next Friday. Spencer nodded his head over to your bathroom to get you guys something to clean up with and let you do your closing. 

“Thanks for the love tonight angels,” you said with a smile on your face, entirely blissed out. “As always the links are in the description and I’ll see you guys next Friday. Maybe I’ll talk to the Doctor about future appearances. Bye!” 

With that you fell back on your bed and closed your eyes. Your body jolted at a sudden coldness between your thighs. 

“Right sorry,” Spencer whispered.

“So where did that come from?” you looked at him with an eyebrow raised. 

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” he stated seriously. 

You giggled and took his hand, “Thanks for doing this with me.”

“Of course. Now why don’t you shower while I get us a pizza. For real this time.”

“Or we can shower together then call the pizza.”

He contemplated it before smiling at you, “You always have the best ideas.” 

“Don’t I know it.. Doctor.”