#and they said the story of Robin Hood happened while the dude was out there doing crusades and shit‚ putting this shitty prince in his place

[rezonan]

Cool new blog you're starting here, really liked your Red Hood post. So wanted to ask, what you would do with Tim Drake? Since your whole but about ways for Jason to move as a character interested me

How i would move Tim Drake as a character

I have no idea.

First question on this blog and I don't have a concrete answer for it, so I'll do what I do best and ramble.

My thoughts on Tim and why he's stuck in the first place

This might be a long section. There's a TLDR at the end if you want a summary of all this and just wanna know what I would do with him

So here's the thing, while I have been keeping up with comic lore and stories through wikis and the like for years since 2016 back when I was 10, I never actually read comics consistently at least as a hobby untill about a year and a half ago. In all those comics, I've only just seen the appeal of tim as a character, I just made a blog post talking about that not too long ago. Not to say I don't like him, I definitely do now, that's for sure. (Also wanna say to bare in mind I don't have universal knowledge of the character so give me some slack.)

So thing is, DC is stuck with him as a character, from what I can get from interviews and the older robin stuff, Tim was supposed to be the 'normal one', unlike Jason or Dick he wasn't brought into this life through tragedy, he went into the life because he wanted to and got into Into a lot of tragedies in a kind of reverse way. Which like I said before, is a beautiful piece.

He also was supposed to BE robin, as in he is THE robin, a lot of comics I've read of him so far before Damian (who we'll get to in a bit), he just seemed to feel like he would always be Robin, he was in universe from what I can see the best one to the point an out of character batman used bus girlfriend to get him back, Dick even said it once I think that he was the best robin, it kinda felt like he was always gonna be Robin and kinda grow the role past the sidekick status, I mean the man actually made the costume cool for the first time.

Then Damian showed up.

Now I don't have a definitive ranking of the robins but I wouldn't be surprised Damian is on top, he fits the asshole trying to be better archetype that I am a sucker for, I liked his stuff with Dick even if I haven't read a lot of it and bus arrogance while annoying to some with the good writers is just plain funny to me and like most of the Batfamily is badass. It also helps I grew up with the DCAMU movies where he was basically the main character.

But he kinda screwed Tim over. All that stuff I said about Tim growing the Robin role or any of that. GONE, I wouldn't say it was intentional on anyone's parts but it still happened.

In Red Robin #1, Tim’s Storyline following the Battle for the Cowl, Tim sees Damian in the Robin costume and that Dick has chosen him to be Robin. And you can really feel what I mean when I say Damian basically took what Tim had going for him at the time.

(lol early Damian was a dick)

Doesn't help that said DCAMU movies I mentioned basically omitted Tim meaning an entire generation of people (like me) didn't even know the dude existed. So now his identity as Robin was basically taken from him in the public eye, Dick had Nightwing and Jason has Red Hood, Damian is Robin now. And Tim is ... Red Robin? I'll get to that name but I wanna make another point.

Coming back to him being the 'Normal one' I meant not only that he was the dude who wanted to get into the hero life without tragedy or anything (which I'm now realizing is kinda a rehash of Barbara Gordon but whatever, I like Damian and his basically a male Cassandra at times) but it was also the fact he wasn't a orphan, yeah again Barbara again did this somewhat but her dad was Commissioner Gordon, Tim(forgive me if I make a mistake guys) had a normal dad and school life and everything. He was just a normal high school kid like you and me who just happened to be a crime fighting badass, kinda like Spider-Man.

Untill multiple tragedies struck and he did become an orphan

Now while in my ramblings I should have mentioned this before the Damian post, DC has taken another thing that set Tim apart from the rest of the robins away. So DC gets Bruce to adopt him, which I love but again, the uniqueness is gone a bit.

So now with have a Robin-less, orphan Tim. (Not sure if he's currently Robin or not, the costume confuses me).

So DC just has nowhere to go with him, they can't make him robin and bringing his dad back would be reductant. So that's where sigh... Red Robin comes along.

So at this point, Tim takes on a new identity and series written by Yost (one of my favorite writers) and it's awesome so far, Tim's smart and detective-like and god that costume just great.

(yes I know that's Jason in the costume but that's a point I'm gonna bring up)

But it also drops another issue with DC and it's direction with him.

I'm sure you've heard of the whole 'All the other robins graduated into better names, even his girlfriend but Tim still has robin in his name's and honestly I freaking agree. It just doesn't separate hum from robin enough for it to really catch on or make him look like he's a new entity. The costume is great but here's the thing.

Tim is the 3rd person to use it. It was originally created in Kingdom come for that universes Dick to use and then by Jason in countdown. So now we have Tim inheriting another costume from his two brothers and it just doesn't work for me

So over the years especially post New 52, DC has been making multiple attempts to go with the character from a costume change to naming him..... Drake??? Who did that anyway?? Dumb

They also made him come out as bisexual which I think is a cool change(I didn't 2 years ago but I was a shit person back then), it makes him more diverse and basically opened his character to a new market. The results and execution of this change has been... Interesting (WHY DID THEY BREAK HIM UP WITH STEPH AND WHY DOES BERNARD EXIST SO BORING!!)

So Tldr: DC got rid of what of what made his character orginally unique for the most part and removed his brand as the current Robin from him and haven't come up with a convincing replacement for a name and direction to take him.

What I would do with Tim

Again not sure since I still haven't read enough to make good judgement calls but there has been this idea in my head for a while now.

Tim Post-Red Robin was interesting mentally, I've talk about how he was so screwed by god at that point in my Tim Drake post. His friends and family even wanting to get him to have therapy.

I read a cool fic called 'New 52 redux' where the new 52 doesn't happen and he attempts suicide, he certainly feels suicidal or at least depressed in this comic, at least I think so, hope I'm not projecting on him there.

He feels like he thinks no one is on his side anymore in his mind, getting paranoid, cold Aka like Bruce, he was acting like Bruce in this run to me. Which was an interesting development since if you read the comics around the early 2000s you would think he would grow into the opposite.

So here's my idea, they lean into this identity Crisis and slow degrade into Bruce at his worst and take him to Hub City, the worst city in DC, yes even worse than Gotham. The question's orginal city that was so bad he quit for his own sanity.

A city so bad that homeless people used dead babies to beg for cash.

I would also give him a new name. Some of the fanon ones I see are pretty cool, Cardinal, Grey Ghost, Gotham Knight etc love em and any would be fine.

So the idea here is that Tim in his Post-Crisis Red Robin mental state, basically tries to singlehandedly take the city from crime, just like Bruce, leaning into how close they were acting but also wanting to prove to everyone else that he can be just as good as Bruce was. Get him to start a business hw would grow as the city moved on and use to profits to improve the city, would be incredibly depressing and brooding.

From there you can either show he's fighting a losing battle and make Tim fall more into his hole of mental issues and Bruce like behavior of pushing others away or let him actually start to win and feel better about himself and start to open up with his family and accept help. Then do the usually status quo stories in hub city.

Of course as usual I have another idea, If most of young justice are dead like I think they were at this time(Retcons and all that make this hard), try and set up a new hero team somewhere, in which he leads the next set of young heroes to avoid all the mistakes he faced as a hero.

Welp that was longer than I thought, hope that satisfied tour question.

[mitisss]

Minutes ago I was talking to a member of a whole fucking royal family.

Like, UK royal family.

I was talking to them.

On A Random, Small Shitposty Discord Server About Geography Of All Places.

...

count to me the odds, what in the wild hell?

[lesser-mook]

I need DC Nuclear Winter Kara Zor El to replace mainline-canon Kara

I need this more seasoned, tougher/older Kara to replace the cheerleader, vanilla supertoken cosplayer.

NW Kara looks like see’s seen shit, done things, been there, experienced. And she has her own life now with this little one.

So sick of looking at this: 

Just eye candy, glorified Superman cosplayer with no impact or real relevance (Correction: She’s had impact but usually when she fucking died lol), when most of the Robins have more going for them in terms of storytelling intrigue than Supergirl, there’s a problem.. 

Cause every time she dies an honorable death or a good idea or concept is introduced for her (Red Lanter/Daughter of Darkseid), DC just keeps bringing her back to square ‘BLAND’ one.

Fact is, she needs to stop riding Superman’s coattails & do something else.

Become a plumber, something, anything. jfc.

OR like when the Viltrumies infiltrated Earth to live normal lives per the Thragg/Mark/Nolan truce

Have her raise her child with a spouse (male/female) out in Norway or something, she’s a First Responder and she can take care of situations/dangers with her powers when they show up, very lowkey.

She doesn’t want to be a costumed “superhero”, but wants to help. Then when big Crisis events happen, she gets involved in Kryptonian Ceremonial garment.

Or do everything i said.... just on ANOTHER PLANET- where a full-blooded Kryptonian would be needed. 

That’s different enough from Clark to where she can do hero stuff, live a life, and it’s not her wearing his colors just for the sake of it. Like she’s following the trend or something.

Superboy Conner, clone of Lex & Kal, serious identity crisis story. 

Young Justice Superboy, a lot more mortality, acceptance of self, also anger issues, & other lessons learned with this version of Conner.

Then Clark Kent (Prime) who was such an unstable mess, killed so many, while believing he was the hero. Dude was menace.

Eventually ended up getting his shit together and saving everyone, multiverse scale.

SERIOUS fall from grace/redemption story.

In terms of Superman Lore: SUPERBOY PRIME is how you do a knock-off Supertoken- right.

I’m going to commit to skimming through her recent arcs to see if there’s anything worth reading (Supergirl Rebirth #1 was underwhelming) DC REALLY needs to venture out their comfort zone & canonize something different for Kara. 

Red Hood is proof that a spinoff character doesn’t have to coattail ride the original template; She doesn’t need to pull a “Supergirl being SUPER” & basically be Clark.

Let her be something of her own, and what that is doesn’t have to be entirely nice or appealing, which is where her staying power is, just a cutesy female superman. RULE 63 Gimmick appeal

Guarantee you, as soon they do that, she’ll evolve beyond that surface level appeal and will blow up & actually have a stake in the DC Universe beyond being token female superman and being present in Crisis events.

Otherwise she’ll remain in the hamster wheel cycle of being a non-factor, side attraction.

I’ve read some of the Danvers matrix arc back in the day, weird but i appreciate the attempt BACK then to do something different. Wouldn’t mind if they brought her back.

Read some New52 Supergirl, bought the #1 day 1 it dropped back in 2011, hated her goddamn suit. Really liked her anger issues/flaws, & how that tied into Red Lantern but ofc that didn’t last.

The Batman/Superman debut for her introduced the Darkseid thing ofc not only did that not go anywhere but they killed her, as she died saving Superman, Superman’s alone again, which is his part of tragedy, good. 

She died honorably.............

....then she came back anyway, lmfao.

Hell i prefer Caitlin Fairchild over Supergirl

Smart as shit brawler, on the shy side, yet ironically the bonified LEADER of her team because she knows what she’s doing. 

Not a knockoff of anyone, the one & only Fairchild of Gen13.

Nuclear Winter, as simple as it was is worthy of being canon. I want an animated short for this, the works.

KARA In-Ze is in fact THE BEST Kara take in post 2000 just by not being Kal’s miracle Fanfic cousin, but NW Kara is close 2nd because of how off-brand she looks. And the actual story, like Mad Max but Older Kara..

One of the most interesting Kara’s for me in years and all they did was get rid of the midriff & skirt, the girl next door appeal, allow her to grow up and adopt a child; Now she has a real, tangible responsibility.

Something of her own. And that is something they did right vs the DCAU where she just got gaga eyes for Brainiac all of sudden.

DCAU did right by divorcing her from the EL House ( only because DC wouldn’t let Timm use Kara Zor-El, thankfully) and Nuclear Winter did right (by her responsibility not being a love interest) 

Not that a partner isn’t a good stake (I’ve suggested Kara having a family myself many times) but the way NW did it? Better than my own pitch ngl.

simple things.

[erazonpo3]

Lost Legends

Okay so I read Lost Legends: The Rise of Flynn Rider and general thoughts? It was cute and fun, and I have gripes here and there but I can still recommend it. I don't want to compare it to WOWM because it's like apples and oranges but Lost Legends wins points for me by actually acknowledging the TTS storyline and characters, even though it's kinda brief and not quite as... entertaining.

And before I go into the in-depth spoiler review I'll jot down a few thoughts here: there's a lot to be said about tie-in media and 'canon', but where I think it becomes contentious is where two pieces contradict each other, and whether those contradictions necessitate a canonical hierarchy or cancel something out completely. And the reason I'm bringing this up is because while LL borrows TTS lore it also contradicts it? which is. ironic.

but i'll get into that. Spoilers ahead

Basic Summary of The Plot

Our story starts at the Dark Kingdom, with a short prologue. It's all stuff we already know from the series: King Edmund tries to grab the moonstone, his wife dies, Eugene gets sent away for his own safety. What's funny is that Ms Queen still doesn't get a name, but her Lady in Waiting/Handmaiden gets a name (Maeve), and it's Maeve who really drops the ball on dropping Eugene off at an orphanage instead of raising him as Prince Horace. Go girl give us nothing

And from here the LL timeline begins, as Eugene and Arnie are now twelve year olds (I think?) in an orphanage in Corona. Which is the first contradiction to 'canon' but shelve that thought for now. Eugene and Arnie are good little boys but they're getting too old to keep hanging around and the orphanage needs money for the evil Tax Man, so they decide they'll go off into the world and send some money back when they're rich off their famous adventuring. What happens instead is that The Baron's circus rolls into town (yes that Baron) and Eugene and Arnie decide to try their luck signing up for that gig.

To prove themselves to the Baron, Flynn and Lance have to perform a hazing ritual a heist. The heist is literally just to buy a key from the Weasel but it plays out as this huge dramatic thing with a guard chase which is eternally funny to me because two kids walk into a bar, buy a key and then leave, and it's treated like fucking ocean's eleven. The Stabbingtons try to betray them (those guys are here too) but Flynn and Lance outsmart them, beginning a rivalry for the ages. Also, the pub thugs are all part of the Baron's circus crew. Don't think about it too much.

Anyway, as this has all been going down, Eugene is really interested in getting to talk to this guy with a tattoo of (what we as the audience know is) the brotherhood symbol, which Eugene recognises from the note left with him as a baby. He wants to talk to this dude in the hopes he'll get a clue about who his parents are, but this dude keeps eluding him. He also hasn't had a chance to tell Lance about this yet, so when Lance finds out about it he assumes Eugene only tried to rope him into the circus so he could find his parents and ditch him. Cue an ongoing silent treatment.

Eugene eventually does talk to this guy and he learns that the Brotherhood symbol is from the Dark Kingdom but the Dark Kingdom is gone so he shouldn't bother looking for it. Bummer. And now the Baron is planning a huge heist of the reward money for the Lost Princess' return, and Eugene is getting cold feet. He's been okay with a little bit of thievery so far but this feels like too much for him, and he's not okay with pulling it off but Lance still won't talk to him.

As the plan unfolds, Lance and Eugene reconcile and then they work together to betray the Baron and return the stolen treasure that they stole back to the King and Queen. They get caught by the Baron, escape, then get caught by the guards, but it's okay because they're presented to the King and Queen and when Eugene explains that they felt really sorry about it and promise not to do it again they're let go. And so the story ends on a high note.

My Thots™

Okay so here are the thoughts

Canon Compliance?

The obvious takeaway here is that this story offers you a beautiful pie in the form of the characters you know and love and the established lore, then shoves the pie in your face with things like "Eugene already knows the Dark Kingdom and the Moonstone exist but he never brings this up" and "Eugene betrays the Baron in a very significant way but somehow they'll make up and he and Stalyan will get engaged". Which means that if the integrity of the series is important to you, you'll probably just mentally cross out Eugene knowing about the Brohood/DK/Moonstone.

And imo that's fine! My own approach to this story is a kind of general 'if it works it works, if it doesn't I'll leave it' thing to work my own headcanons around. Because there's a lot of fun things to pluck from, like a new ex-Brotherhood member and other characters that could pop up from Eugene's past and other worldbuilding details.

The Story

The story was pretty short and obviously very tailored towards a younger audience, but it still felt kind of... slow? Mostly because nothing particularly exciting is happening until the big heist and even that feels pretty underwhelming. And of course I don't expect a story like this to be particularly complex and can appreciate its simplicity, but I felt like if it had been longer there could have been more twists to keep things interesting.

For example, the Baron is set up as a character not unlike Gothel, who lavishes praise upon the boys and goes on about how they're 'family' but is obviously just manipulating them and would throw them to the wolves in a heartbeat. Eugene underestimates just how criminal the Baron is, but at no point in the story does the doubt we have in the Baron's sincerity ever amount to anything- Eugene only turns against him because he has a morality crisis, which I'll get to in a minute.

Misc. Thoughts

Okay so one thing I thought was really cute was that each chapter has a little 'quote' from a Flynnigan Rider book, and I wrote them all down so if you've read this far and want me to post those separately lemme know. Anyway I just thought it was a very cute touch.

An honourable mention goes to every time Stalyan shows up, she doesn't really do anything in the story yet still is somehow the only character holding the brain cell. Rapunzel gets an indirect cameo by Lance and Eugene stumbling upon her tower and going "Whoa that's Crazy. Anyway. " which is amazing, and Cassandra even gets a little mention by the Captain! And to answer the question nobody asked, there's a chameleon running around Corona because she's an escapee from the circus, and Pascal's mom's name is Amélie!

Characters - okay really just Eugene

Eugene/Flynn is the title character of the book and we get the story exclusively from his POV, so there isn't a lot to say about Lance. On the one hand while I can acknowledge that this is a story about Flynn, not Lance, there's a few choices that feel like a missed opportunity at best given that this book really was an opportunity to explore Lance's character in a way the series never really does.

And it feels extra egregious when the plot demands conflict between Eugene and Lance, because while the emotion between them is engaging when it's happening, at other times it just feels like a convenient way to shove Lance offscreen again. (As a side note, as contrived as the conflict is these are also two twelve year old boys so. Can't blame em too much).

Also, Eugene coming up with the name "Lance Strongbow" on Lance's behalf while he's unconscious is one of those backstory things I'm not going to be acknowledging, thank you.

The Robin Hood Dilemma

Something I touched on after reading What Once Was Mine is that Eugene's characterisation prior to the movie isn't something writers seem to really like... dealing with. And it kind of makes sense that the author received a lot of characterisation notes from Chris Sonnenburg, because little Flynn does feel very similar to the Eugene we know; only the Eugene we know is an adult man who has since grown out of his Flynn Rider persona. But the Flynn Rider persona he needed to grow out of isn't something that ought to be cast aside entirely!! Stop being cowards!!

Taking a step back, the whole premise of the book is kind of a paradox- because Eugene needs to become Flynn Rider before he can learn to embrace his authentic self, but Flynn Rider isn't hero material, he isn't a good guy, he's not the right protagonist for a story for kids. So what we get isn't Flynn Rider, it's really just Eugene trying on a new name. That works for the beginning of the story, because he is just Eugene trying on a new name, but he doesn't grow into it.

At the beginning of the story, Eugene is an orphan in a poor but still functional orphanage run by a kind old lady, and he is surrounded by nice little boys. Eugene is motivated to leave and get a job by a desire to send funds back to the orphanage, and when he joins the Baron's circus he's taken aback to learn he's among thieves. Here's where I thought: okay, this might get interesting. We might be getting a G-rated 'angel falls from heaven' story about Eugene being morally corrupted by the Baron, of learning that the world outside is tough and he needs to look out for himself first and foremost-

but no. The Baron shares his plan to steal the reward money for the Lost Princess, because all the people he's surrounded himself with are already criminals who don't give a shit, but Eugene thinks that this is going too far! What about that poor lost princess who people need an incentive to search for? (he's like, projecting about his own parent issues which is fair, but still). And so the story ends with Eugene turning on the Baron to return the money to the "right" people (aka the king and queen of a kingdom?? okay) but he takes a single golden egg for himself so he can send it to the orphanage.

Which is all sweet and nice but. He still has to become Flynn Rider, asshole extraordinaire. He still has to lose his morals to the point where he'd take an inexperienced young woman to a pub that he, in this book, recognises is a dangerous place in the hopes that he can ditch her. He still has to go and become a wanted thief and rejoin the Baron and then ditch Stalyan on their wedding night.

The reason I'm going on about this so much is that the appeal of Eugene to me is that he is this good guy who wants to be a better person for the people he loves, but that means recognising that he has behaviour he needs to change, and his development is meaningful for that. Watering him down to a righteous Robin Hood hero does him a disservice.

The Real Villain Was Capitalism All Along

I will not elaborate nor should I

[moongoddesskiana]

I'm just thinking about AU where you keep elements from different canons for maximum angst as well as maximum 'you done fucked up my fave' because the writers really don't understand my fave's origin story

So Jason recently left the Titans (have I ever watched more than the first 3 eps no but I've seen enough clips and fanvids) and is back to working with Bruce. They are working on a case where the criminal has diplomatic immunity, Jason goes to confront the dude who proceeds to fall off the balcony (also for kicks the dude said that no one was going to believe that Jason had nothing to do with it when Jason tried to save him and he shoved Jason off) and dies.

After this Jason is forced to go to therapy where Leslie (whom he already knows and trusts) helps him a bit though he is still very much struggling. Jason then over hears Bruce say that Jason is being too rough and is going to be taken off active duty, Jason then runs out of the manor and into Crime Alley. Bruce tracks him down and they have a conversation like the one in Titans and Jason asks Bruce not to give up on him and that he had nothing to do with the dude's death.

Not sure if I'm gonna have Bruce believe him or not, but Bruce thinks this is for the best and doesn't realize how much this fucks up Jason and worsens his feelings of being rejected. As Jason leaves the alley but is still in the neighborhood an old neighbor flags him down saying they have some of his family's old things. Jason sneaks back into his room and goes over everything in the box hoping to find some of his mom's old things, what Jason actually finds is his birth certificate. The mother's name starting with an S but otherwise unreadable. Jason doesn't feel like he has anyone to go to and tries to track down his bio mom.

Cross referencing Willis addressbook he finds 3 possibilities, I'm gonna be lazy and say that Sheila was in town for like enough time for Jason to find her in Gotham. Meanwhile Joker broke out of Arkham and Batman's on the case and thinks that Sheila's job's local warehouse known to not usually be in use is Joker's next move. Sheila tells Jason she has to go to a meeting but to meet up later when Bruce runs into Jason.

Bruce asks Jason where he's been and what is he doing on a Joker case (it's been like a week since Jason left the manor only leaving a note saying that basically reads I know when I'm not wanted don't do a obligatory search.). Jason for a second thought Bruce had been looking for him and that he actually cared until he asked what Jason was doing on a case, Jason's sense of rejection escalates.

Bruce says that Sheila workplace might be in trouble but that he was also checking out another lead. Jason tracks down Sheila to warn her that the Joker might be up to something using her work's warehouse, she's like sure kid uh huh until he shows he the Robin suit. Then Sheila says to help her search the warehouse before her meeting which was to happen at the warehouse so that they would know if anything bad was inside.

Jason says that he should call in Batman just in case when they round a corner in the warehouse and the Joker is there. Jason (in Robin suit) turns to Shelia to yell at her to run when she pulls out a gun and points it at Jason telling him "sorry kid looks like you trusted the wrong person this time."

Jason is then tied up and beaten with a crowbar, whilst Sheila sits back and smokes on a nearby crate. Jason goes unconscious and Sheila is tied to the warehouse while the Joker says there can be no witnesses. Jason tries to get them both out of there while he struggles to move, they make it to the door when he hears a timer seconds away from zero while Sheila tries to open the door. Jason covers her body with his own while resigning himself to death. The warehouse explodes.

First responders are already on the scene when Bruce gets there. Sheila is alive long enough to tell Batman that Jason was a good kid, a better kid than one she thought she would make. The first responders found Jason before Bruce did, Robin was pronounced dead on arrival.

Everything is happening in between season 2 and 3 btw, well at least until Red Hood arrives.

Dick hears about the explosion over the news and rushes to Gotham, team in hand. They miss the funeral. Dick finds out that Jason had been missing for a week before that and is pissed Bruce didn't tell him. A month later Tim forces his way into Robin and gets assistance from the Titans who welcome him with open arms.

3 months after his death Jason crawls out of his grave, Scarecrow and the League of Assassins are working together (don't ask why idk either) and Jason stumbles across a meeting. Someone notices Jason isn't responding properly and they began experimenting on him eventually realizing that one of Scarecrow's toxins makes him less fearful and respond to orders more. Talia grows to give a shit and puts him in a Lazarus Pit before she is sent away but still partly in charge. Ra's says to drug him before he wakes up and to make Jason reliant on the drugs and on the League of Assassins.

Jason is trained up for a year before they put him on the scene as a figurehead but not really in charge of anything Red Hood. Jason tries to keep civilian casualties as low as he can, tries to keep things centered on ending Gotham's crime and criminals. He makes his number one rule no drugs to kids, no harm to children, no exceptions.

Two lackeys who drugged Robin were made as examples. Jason himself was still force fed Scarecrow's toxin every day.

The code name Red Hood was one of the few things that he had been given control over a nice little Fuck you to the Joker (still alive and kicking) which he had a do not engage order for so he couldn't kill the guy himself (not that he thought he would be able to even with the toxin). Jason tries to use it as a force of change, a force of good for Gotham. Sometimes when the drugs were wearing off he wondered how much harm he was doing compared to good, and how easily he killed criminals.

The league of assassin's pulls out of Gotham for reasons Jason doesn't know about, Jason tries to get clean while an imposter with meta abilities impersonated Red Hood in order to get to Hank and does Gotham harm. The titans have been in town for most of the time btw. The meta, a telepathic shapeshifter, bumped into Jason read his mind and figured Jason Todd would be a good cover for them while they did this and they could implant memories into Jason later and no evidence would lead back to them especially because of Jason laying low and trying to detox alone.

So yeah Jason still murders people but the stuff in the show making someone snap their neck, civilian casualties that shouldn't have happened and killing Hank, that was a meta in this because I can't see even a very fucked up Jason doing those things.

Everyday the meta tracks Jason down reads his mind and implants new memories. Jason tries to get help but that keeps getting stopped or people refuse to help him for the things they think he did.

The meta is taken into custody when someone realizes that that isn't Jason because either he called one of them or one of them saw him one the street collapsing. This leads to so much confusion epically since Jason has two sets of memories the stuff he did do (duffle bag of heads) and things he didn't do (kill Hank). In the process of sorting his memories the Titans realize how much they fucked up with Jason especially when they hear him say 'Arkham is to good for me, I need to be put down, I'm poison.' After hearing him whimper in his sleep begging Bruce not to put him in Arkham, to not leave him with the Joker.

Jason and Tim mostly get along and become siblings, but Gar is the only Titan who didn't really hurt my fave from what I know. The rest didn't really treat Jason as one of them and didn't try to understand him or empathize. I heard that Kori was also okay with him but then I saw a clip from 3x08 and I was like :/

Don't have anything else currently for this idea

[firemblem-fics]

hi lay! could i please get the sfw alphabet for yuri? i love your work!!! have a nice day!! 💕

sfw alphabet. | yuri

-> Pairing: Yuri x GN!Reader

-> Genre: Fluff, SFW Alphabet

-> Warnings: None

-> A/N: i just wanted to say i’m so so so so close to 1.2k followers and i’m so excited i love having so many of y’all supporting me ♡︎

A -> Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

yuri is not affectionate in the beginning. it takes him a long time to warm up and get truly comfortable and fully trusting with you, so he still kind of has his walls up at the beginning of your relationship.

as it progresses, he gets a little more open in private, but there are some days where yuri just doesn’t want affection

B -> Begin (How did the relationship begin?)

you two were flirting MASTERS bruh

the tension in the monastery was unreal from the moment you two met. at first it wasn’t really serious, instead just trying to fluster the other, but eventually you gained some genuine feelings and he did too. yuri never really actually asked you out, it just kind of happened one day

C -> Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How do they cuddle?)

yuri’s kind of temperamental when it comes to cuddling. he doesn’t mean to be, but some days just aren’t cuddling days.

growing up, yuri didn’t get the affection he needed after being adopted. a sudden onslaught of affection and cuddling sometimes gets really overwhelming for him and he just needs to chill for a bit

D -> Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How good are they at cooking and cleaning?)

yuri’s never really thought about settling down. if you don’t want to settle down, he won’t either. if you do, he’ll consider it. to him, his work in the abyss never ends. he doesn’t want to “settle”, because to him, settling down means that his work is done.

E -> Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

unfortunately, yuri would pull some shit out of his ass like he did in the ashen wolves route. he’d come up with some lie as to why he’s breaking up with you and make you hate him so that it’s a little easier for him. newsflash, it’s never easier

F -> Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?)

yuri is definitely not going to jump at the chance of marriage, but he’d be willing to sit down and talk with you about it. after you’d been together for a long time, of course

he’s good with commitment, like exceptionally good, which is why i don’t think that he believes marriage is necessary. what’s the point other than earning a new last name? you love him and he loves you, he doesn’t think that there needs to be some big ceremony to know that

but if you’re adamant about it, he won’t be against it. as long as the wedding ceremony isn’t too big

G -> Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

physically, yuri is very gentle. he’s kind of awkward at first, not knowing what to do, so he’s lowkey kind of scared of doing the wrong thing. everything he does is done with precision and care to make sure that you’re comfortable and happy

emotionally, it takes him a while to be a little less... closed off. yuri is blunt and brutally honest, preferring not to sugar coat things or get caught up in sweet pleasantries. he has to realize that sometimes, those things can be taken as mean and the last thing he wants to do is be mean to you. showing you his soft side comes slowly, but it’s worth it when he does.

H -> Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

hugs are reserved for the small, fleeting private moments that the two of you get alone

they’re loose, with his arms draped around your waist and yours resting on his shoulders as he smiles down at you, talking sweet nothings in a hushed voice

I -> I Love You (How fast do they say the L-word?)

yuri’s love language is definitely not words of affirmation

it’s acts of service but that’s not what this letter is about

yuri doesn’t say i love you often. you’re the one to say it first, and even then, it’s a little hard for him to get out. it’s not that he doesn’t love you, because trust me, he does, it’s just that it’s such a vulnerable thing that caught him completely off guard when you said it.

he does say it back, though, muffled into the crown of your hair as he holds you in the middle of the night

J -> Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

to get yuri jealous is to accomplish the impossible

to even consider you as his s/o, yuri has to have an enormous amount of trust in you. he has faith that you won’t ever betray him

but if he does, somehow, get jealous, it’s kind of funny to watch. he’ll just casually walk up to whoever you’re talking to and join in on the conversation, making sure to butt in and interrupt the guy. he just wants to make the dude super duper frustrated, and it works.

K -> Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

super fiery and possessive, and yet unsure at the same time. yuri’s so passionate about you and loves you a lot, but he’s always on the cautious side, making sure that you’re comfy and okay

he love love love loves to kiss the crown of your head, especially as he’s holding you against his chest. it makes him feel like he’s protecting you

kiss his neck and chest!! please! he absolutely melts, even if it’s just cute lil loving sfw kisses

L -> Little Ones (How are they around children?)

yuri is very very good with kids. he’s like a hero to the children in the abyss, so he’s got a lot of practice. he loves to sit with them and tell them stories. his most popular is about a robin hood-esque character who somehow managed to get the most beautiful, sweetest person in the world to fall in love with him. that story makes you blush every time.

M -> Mornings (How are mornings spent with them?)

mornings together aren’t too often, but they’re not as scarce as they would be with felix. yuri’s day starts bright and early and he’d like it if yours did too. he’d love to wake up and spend like five minutes with you, but if you’re not an early bird he’d understand

if you’re still asleep by the time he wakes up, he’ll lay on his side and just admire you for a bit, running his fingers through your hair and just looking at you before giving you a kiss on the forehead and getting up to start his day.

N -> Nights (How are nights spent with them?)

nights with yuri kind of depend on his mood

as said in earlier headcanons, there are times when yuri just doesn’t want to be touched. those nights, you both just lay side by side and talk about different things

on nights that he’s comfortable with cuddling, he often will lay facing you and will hold you to his chest, his chin resting on your head as he rubs small circles into your back, still talking about the day and future plans

O -> Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything at once or wait to reveal things slowly?)

even years into your relationship with yuri, you’re still learning things. it’s usually menial things that he doesn’t deem necessary for someone to know, but you’re still learning.

it’s not that yuri doesn’t trust you, because he does, it’s just that he’s not an open person. he doesn’t find talking about his past beneficial for anyone, so he just doesn’t do it.

he will confide in you about his real name right after you get together, though, asking you to never use it again after that.

P -> Patience (How easily angered are they?)

yuri is very slow to anger. sure, he gets frustrated at times, but he’s never one to show such negative emotions. if someone sees that they’re getting to him, that’s a weakness that he just doesn’t want people to see.

he wouldn’t really ever get mad at you, i wish i could elaborate more on that but yuri’s just really tolerant and you don’t really do anything to make him mad anyways??

Q -> Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

yuri remembers big things like your birthday or other significant facts, but sometimes he has to be reminded of smaller things like your mother’s father’s dog’s cousin’s name. he remembers most things is what i’m trying to say

R -> Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

yuri likes to remember the day he realized that you were the one. he was very stressed that day because the abyssians were getting nervous about rumors of an impending attack from thieves and he was struggling calming them all down

you jumped right into the chaos when you saw what was happening and quickly began soothing the abyssians as well, rallying them up and improving their morale just in case they actually would have to defend their home again

yuri’s heart swelled as he realized that you truly cared about his people and his home as much as he did

S -> Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

yuri’s quite protective, but in a secretive way. he’s not really... out there. he chooses to watch you from the corner of his eye when you’re in the same room or fight close to you when you’re in battle, only swooping in to save the day when you absolutely need it.

that’s how he’d prefer to be “protected” as well, just don’t call it protected because the great yuri leclerc does NOT need protection according to him. don’t be overbearing, let him handle things and only really come in when he absolutely needs it.

T -> Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, etc?)

yuri would definitely try to make special days special, but he wouldn’t do much in terms of physical gifts. instead, he’d make you take a day off from duties and treat you to a tea party or a trip to the sauna and such

U -> Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

yuri will always always always struggle with leaning on you for support. he’s used to being the big, lone wolf leader who doesn’t need anybody and that won’t change easily.

V -> Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks? Do your looks bother them?)

yuri is naturally a beauty, so he doesn’t really try with his looks. even if he doesn’t really think he’s that much of a catch, he doesn’t bother to make himself one either.

your looks don’t bother him at all. he likes you for your personality, loyalty, strength, and all those things. it’s just a plus that you’re exceedingly attractive

W -> Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

i’m sorry, reader, but if he did feel incomplete without you, he sure as hell would be good at showing it. yuri’s spent his life only being close to three other people while everyone else has betrayed or left him. he’s got walls up for a reason and if you left, he’d easily be able to shut those feelings out and put the walls back up again

X -> Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

yuri snorts when he laughs too hard it’s just a proven fact. he gets super embarrassed when he does and makes you swear not to tell anyone, but it’s so cute and funny and makes you both laugh ten times harder

Y -> Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, in general or in a partner?)

if you don’t care about the abyss or are really selfish, that’s a no. yuri has two number one priorities; you and the abyss. he’d appreciate it if you at least just cared a little about it, yk? that’s his home

Z -> Zzz (What’s a sleep habit of theirs? Does it change around a partner?)

in addition to snorting when he laughs, yuri also makes little noises when he sleeps. they’re usually just small hums or little mumbles, but once you had a conversation with him while he was dead asleep

[yikesharringrove]

Toy Box, part 3

Read on Ao3

-

Steve was standing in front of Robin's front door, hitting his head against it.

He still had his hood tied around his face.

She raised one eyebrow when she opened the door.

“Were you slamming your noggin against this?”

“I wanted to see if it was enough to kill me.” She rolled her eyes at him, but ushered him inside.

Robin had gotten a single room. Set up like a cramped studio apartment.

Steve had thought about a single room, but Steve living by himself equals Steve forgetting to eat, clean up, and shower until Robin yells at him.

So that was a no.

“What now?”

“I ran into Hot Billy on my way here. Like, literally ran into him. Nearly fell over. Would have if he didn’t catch me. And then he was all, you forgot something, and one of my dildos, one of my never see the light of day, never tell anyone I even own it dildos, is sitting on the coffee table. Meaning he picked it up and put it there.”

“Wow. Fearless.”

“Like, I keep them very clean. Disinfected after each use, that kinda energy, so it’s fine, but also, he doesn’t know that. So he did that, and is all you don’t have to be embarrassed and I was like, uh yes I do. This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. And then he’s like actually, I’m pretty impressed. Which, I mean, yeah. That thing took me weeks to train up to-hey can I have some?” Robin was standing in front of her kitchen counter, pouring herself a glass of pink wine.

She pulled out a reusable drink cup. Adult sippy cups, she called them. Made Steve drink his alcohol from one. Said he was prone to spillage.

“So, anyway. Yes, it is impressive. And it’s not even my biggest one.”

“Sorry, does this story, have a point.”

“The point, Robin, is that I’m renting a large vehicle and will pay you a hundred dollars to run me over with it.”

“You’re being, a lot right now.”

“Rob, I’m so fucking embarrassed.”

“You know that he’s flirting with you, right?” Steve floundered for a moment, his mouth hanging open around the hard plastic straw.

“No.”

“Totally. With all the you don’t have to be embarrassed and the whole it’s impressive thing. He wants in your pants.”

“No, he’s not, he’s not.” Steve sucked furiously at the straw, his brows drawn. His hood still up.

“He’s not what?”

“Queer. He’s like, the gymiest gym rat. Not a single leg day skipped.”

“How very heteronormative of you.” Steve groaned loudly.

“You know what I mean. The guy just, he’s straight.”

“Straight guys don’t go around fondling other guys’ asshole fodder. And then saying they’re impressed with the size. They’d be more, dude, you’re giant rubber dick is over there and also scary.”

“Yeah, I wish it was one of the dick ones.” Robin’s face slowly crumpled into something disgusted. “It was a big ol’ tentacle. It’s blue. There’s suction cups. It’s a good time.” Robin stood up from the couch, staring at the wall opposite. She took a deep breath, and sat back down.

“Sorry, I was just astral projecting to an alternate dimension where I didn’t know you owned and used that.” Steve just shrugged at her.

He had slammed his sippy cup of wine, was already feeling a little buzzed.

“Whatever. Just help me get drunk enough I don’t remember what happened.”

-

Steve stumbled into the door frame on his way back into his apartment.

It was well past midnight, and Steve was drunk. He laughed silently while trying to toe off his shoes.

A light clicked on in the sitting room.

Billy looked rumbled, a book face down on the coffee table. He smiled softly at Steve.

“Hey,” Steve whisper screamed.

“Hi, there.” Billy was looking blearily at Steve, wearing this little half smile. “Glad to see you didn’t walk directly into the ocean.”

“Nah. I just got very drunk with my girl friend. Her name is Robin.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.”

“I, uh, didn’t know you had a girlfriend.” Billy was looking at him oddly. Steve was too drunk to decipher what his face meant.

“Oh, I call her my girl friend like how, how white suburban moms say girl friend. Robin hates when I do it.”

“So you’re not, like, together?” Steve snorted.

“Robin’s big gay.” And Billy was back to smile.

“Me too. Lots of gay.”

“I’m all of it.” Billy raised an eyebrow. “I like all of it.” Billy nodded at him slowly. “And I especially like going to sleep.”

“Yeah, go on little drunky.” Steve finger gunned at Billy, making his way to his room.

“Sleep tight!”

“Goodnight, Stevie.”

[thattimdrakeguy]

I couldn’t finish Batman and Robin 2009. It was just... mentally exhausting and I stopped shortly after Bat Dick put fake Bruce in the Lazarus pit. Based on his appearances in Teen Titans, Bruce Wayne: Road Home, as well as his big fan base, I assumed Damian’s character development was executed nicely in his own series. But then again in Gates of Gotham (literally read it just for Cass) he’s impulsive, arrogant and rude to Cass both to her face and behind her back-even after she saved his life 1

Don’t get me started on the sexist things he’s said to Steph. I want to like Damian, but writers don’t make it easy. I got into comics because of batfam fanfics and he was a fave of mine. Dude was extra violent and displayed borderline sociopathic tendencies in his first appearances, cool beans. There’s a lot they can do with a character like that. I just felt like his bad behaviour was never properly dealt with before B&R, and I couldn’t muster the energy to see him through his own series. 2/2

IMO, Damian felt like a Gary Stu at times.

I don’t know if that last one was from the same person or not, but I just got the feeling it is, and if it’s not, then well it blends well enough and don’t feel the need to answer it separately.

Like all I can really say is that I don’t really like Damian. A lot of people confuse that for me thinking he’s an evil monster. I imagine cause I have a Tim icon and other Tims do rage on about that every now and again. As well as just plain taking things I say the wrong way (though I have probably said things in the moment I imagine). But I just plain don’t really like his writing, and if I can’t really read a comic he’s in that I actually like. Idk, I just find it weird to say I like him, when all I really like is what he could be. I don’t feel like that really equals me liking him, cause when I think about it, I kinda realized that meant the opposite, and didn’t wanna project the wrong idea.

But I wanna say this about Damian. He is insanely inconsistent as a personality and character. To this very day. So, as I do with every character, I start from the beginning, figure out what was meant to be by the writers that helped develop them, and figure out what’s in-character and out of character from there. I just feel like it’s the most objective way I can look at anything if I want to review things with standards that are more than just “I like this” or “I don’t like that”.

And in the case of Damian he’s never not been inconsistent. Like one of the main reasons I reread Batman and Robin (or at least Morrison’s run) was for plans of a post about flanderization in the Bat-Family, cause it was pretty rampant in the 00s and still continues often to this very day, and I think is the cause of a lot of lost sales and unhappiness and overall fandom diminishment.

However also to say it, I liked to see a lot of what Damian could be within B&R 09.

But anyways, basically just because I can’t really do a part of the post on Damian without trying to figure out what he was like to begin with, and what he was supposed to be per his creator.

Cause you can’t really tell in fandom. Cause his most popular comics are from stuff that isn’t in the main universe and was purposely a lot lighter, or in the main universe from writers that really surprisingly didn’t get the character despite the popularity--which continues my thinking on it was less about the quality of the writing and more about the lazy fan service. They honestly really flanderized him in a similar yet opposite way then what they did with Tim in the 00s.

And while I can’t act like the sexism and homophobia wasn’t an actual part of the character of Damian at the time--he shows both of those traits in the series (at least the homophobia, cause I’m now realizing that I might be thinking of another series for the sexism). He was flanderized even then by other writers from the different series.

Like how he’s written in Red Robin, is not freaking Damian. It’s not Damian to me. I don’t accept it as Damian. Even a lot of the content of him in Batgirl I even less feel like is Damian--besides unfortunately some of the sexist comments, but they never really proper developed him on that as far as like--actively showing that, at least that I can recall. So all I can really say is it’s uncomfortable, and how they don’t delve into it is the only real reason I say “That actually sadly does fit in with him”. But it’s not like it doesn’t make sense, he was raised to fight, not to handle emotions or feelings, he probably would do and say really creepy things when he has a crush--I just wish they’d actually acknowledge that what was going on rather than sacrificing a good story for more fan service.

The other writers make him too much of a bratty, snotty, kid. And I found that, that is an absolutely terrible interpretation of Damian, because beyond his origin, he isn’t a typical brat, and he doesn’t really act like a kid (in some ways yes, but general mannerisms and personality no). And even then he was a different kind of brat. He was entitled and bitchy in his origin, not immature (at least in the same way) and snotty. They have him act more like some spoiled brat from next door rather than a kid that was abused into being obedient to be what his abusive mother wanted (Talia shouldn’t be abusive, but like I said before, I think the series sucked overall for reasons like that and more).

(I also find that stupid line cutting scene in RR where I presume he was trying to kill Tim to be even stupider, cause Damian wouldn’t freaking do that at that point. They make Damian come off as so stupid in that issue, I hate it. Cause it was all just a cheap way to force sympathy for him, but it doesn’t even make sense when you think about it and is a huge stretch.)

Damian doesn’t make jokes when he’s written better--it’s like his thing. He’s got quite the temper, and understandably why of course. He’s violent with criminals, but he’s also mostly just stoic as his base state when not in a stressed situation, and even shows remorse (which is a big stretch from his origin, but I blame that on the writing which could be very rushed and lazy). He was treated like just another adult for the most part, and it had a weirdly endearing quality despite the maturity of it, and general edge of the series. It was Damian’s place and it worked really well. It just felt right for their dynamics. Damian’s a unique kid, and they respected him for who he was. He just needed help on his morals and stability.

But other series didn’t really get that. He would still be really rude like his origin, and not really the same tone of rudeness (I’m not sure if I can really explain what I mean by that), he’s aggressive, but putting him in Teen Titans never made sense to me, because I don’t see Dick doing that. Dick had a lot more respect than to force Damian to do something like that. Dick was more patient, and while he did lightly smack (not any kind to hurt him any. literally to demonstrate without pain. more taps really) him to teach him a point about aesthetical weaknesses in his costume like the hood, it was mostly done out of finding a way to teach him that would speak to him. So just forcing him to do something he didn’t want to do--which would clearly not work on him--was just contrived and plain bad writing wise. Something they did more as a stunt so they can say “TITANS NOW HAS THE SON OF BATMAN” than to use him well or continue his story in a natural way.

With Cass I can’t say anything, because that’s like the one time he talks to her, and that basically shows their dynamic. So that’s just them, I can’t really say anything on it. If he felt challenged by her I could see him being a total jerk. It really depends on the scenes themselves. I never read the series myself cause I genuinely really don’t like that Batman Reborn era of Bat-Family. Too much of it was just done for publicity and random changes, and for the most part didn’t work much to me.

But overall, at the same time, despite me singing the praises of what Damian could be, and was for a little while. The overall writing for the character arc was super lazy. Stuff just kind of happens, and way too quick to fit in with what they introduced. He just kind of goes “this is right, now”, which makes his whole brainwashing thing feel a bit--useless, and makes how he went from chopping heads off to that in very little time sort of cuts out depth that could’ve really made the series more rereadable. Damian actually comes off surprisingly as a very flat character for stretches of time in the issues because his character arc is never focused on as much as you’d think until they need to be like “Oh yeah...uh, here’s an emotional moment”. Which just felt really cheap to me.

So the series to me isn’t worth it if you want a good story. None of the stories were good to me, I think I was questioning each one cause it was either schlocky, out of character, or both. I know people like Grant Morrison, but they aren’t for me, I’m not a fan of their writing. Damian was a Gary Stu a lot, which they try to explain with the League thing--but having the League give him experimental surgery so he could walk the same day (or next) after being legitimately paralyzed was just way too freaking much to me. But he does make mistakes, so he’s not at base a Gary Stu really--the writing just really stunk badly sometimes.

This isn’t me putting in a bid to say “OH YOU JUST NEED TO READ THIS, AND YOU’LL FREAKING LOVE HIM”, because to be freaking honest, when you already have a bad taste in your mouth, it’s best to just wait a bit till trying again. I read the fandom recommended comics and felt there was so many problems that I couldn’t read Damian for literal months. And he still has a lot of the problems you said. I’m just saying Damian is surprisingly different when written by his creator than others, cause honestly nearly every single other writer for him has gotten him wrong. Like mind-blowingly wrong. He does not feel like the same character anywhere else. It’s nuts.

To put it another way, it’s a generally speaking bad series, but if you want to see what Damian was meant to be like before they kept regressing him, and diminishing him, and turning him into more a joke, and see what his dynamic with Dick and Alfred was meant to be like, it’s a brilliant and perfect series to read it for.

It’s better for learning about them--then it actually is to enjoy it. Because it’s most likely not a series I’m going to be returning too often unless to research something again.

[bigskydreaming]

Assume for the following scenario its a not-to-be-taken-all-that-seriously-AU Batfamily who has passed the point of caring if anybody knows that they’re actually all family. Or about like, public perception to any degree.

Just....imagine living in Gotham, and its 3 am and you’ve just left some club with a bunch of friends. You’re at the sole late-night hot dog vendor still out on the street, just grabbing something quick to eat so you don’t go to bed on an empty stomach.....and then waiting behind you all of a sudden, just casually talking to each other like its no big deal, is Nightwing and the Red Hood. 

And suddenly you and all your friends are just staring at each other wide-eyed like “Be cool, be cool” and trying to communicate via over-exaggerated glances that are in no way super-obvious: “Don’t they hate each other? There was that big fight between them in the Narrows a couple years ago, it was on TV.” 

Meanwhile, the vigilante and notorious antihero are just chatting like two old friends who’ve known each other for years.  

Then it gets more surreal. Because its Gotham, and that’s just how Gotham rolls.

Nightwing and Red Hood both tense up at the same time and swivel to face a patch of shadows that looks the same as any other to you and your friends. You have zero clue what drew their attention...that is, at least until a wet and sullen looking Robin stalks angrily out of the darkness. He’s absolutely soaked from head to toe, his hood down, hair plastered to his forehead, cape dragging behind him and leaving a wet trail in his wake.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” the diminutive vigilante grunts out as he stops and stands next to his two taller and older....colleagues? Who are both making a valiant effort not to laugh. Well, Nightwing is. Upon closer inspection, it looks like the Red Hood is so entertained he’s skipped straight to the “desperately trying to find air with which to breathe” part of hysterics.

“Oh, but I want to talk about it,” a voice says from above, and then suddenly with a light, barely perceptible thump, Red Robin alights on the ground next to the other costumed crime fighters. He seems uncharacteristically giddy, at least judging by what little you know about this particular vigilante: which is basically just that you heard from a friend who heard from a friend whose roommate was present at a crime scene he was at with the cops, that like “dude is super serious, like, in that kinda intense kinda way, you know?”

“I loathe you with every fiber of my being.” The smallest vigilante glares at the newcomer - or at least, you assume he is, beneath the domino mask they all wear. The rest of his body language certainly sells that impression clearly enough. His ire is met with a negligent hand-wave, as if this is old news and not remotely worth acknowledging.

“So, Robin, why would you bother seeking out Nightwing and Red Hood if you didn’t want to talk about your current situation?” The allegedly super-serious Red Robin continues, in a tone that can only be described as gleeful. “Seems to me the logical thing to do instead would be to just turn in for the night.”

“Obviously I was seeking out Nightwing,” the younger boy sneers. “As if I would ever seek out Red Hood’s help, other than as an absolute last resort.”

“Love you too, you megalomaniacal munchkin,” the notorious antihero says cheerfully, not bothered in the least. Your eyebrows are climbing your forehead like its Mt. Everest and they have a world record to beat for fastest race to the top. You know for a fact you’ve heard like, at least ten different stories about the Red Hood killing a man for far less of an insult than that. What is going on here? How drunk are you?

“Wait, so you’re saying you need help?” Red Robin jumps on that word choice like its the treasure find of the century. “You, Robin, the Boy Wonder? What could you possibly need help with?”

The youngest and smallest of the vigilantes couldn’t more clearly regret his phrasing as he stews with a kind of intensity that has you half expecting water to just start evaporating off him.

Ignoring - or at least attempting - to ignore Red Robin, the younger crime-fighter turns to face Nightwing with an expression like he’s just eaten a bowl full of lemons. 

“I need a ride home,” Robin grinds out at last, from between audibly clenched teeth.

“And why is that?” Red Robin persists, grinning almost maniacally.

“I will garrote you with your own entrails.”

Just then, because of course they would, Batgirl and Black Bat swoop down from above and join the assemblage. 

“Oh goody, the gang’s all here,” Red Hood grunts. It still doesn’t quite manage to come across as displeased.

“Signal’s not,” Nightwing points out. He looks around slightly, as if expecting the last of the young Gotham vigilantes to be lurking somewhere nearby as well. “Where is he tonight anyway?”

“He has midterms tomorrow,” Batgirl says off-handedly. “You know Agent A forbids any and all superhero shenanigans the night before midterms and finals, insisting on at least one good night’s rest.”

“Umm no, I do not. I definitely don’t remember that rule from when I was in school,” Red Hood says. “You?”

The latter is directed at Nightwing, who just shrugs and shakes his head.

“I’m pretty sure you two are the reason its a rule in the first place,” Red Robin jumps in. Hood scowls.

“Yeah right. I was a straight A student.”

“Well, that’s not totally true,” Nightwing drawls with a smirk. “What about Chemistry -”

“I will punch you in the throat if you finish that sentence.”

“Okay, putting a pin in that because there’s definitely a story there and I want it,” Batgirl chimes back in. “But at the moment, I’m more interested in hearing why Robin’s bike is in the middle of the harbor, according to its tracker? Inquiring minds want to know, and by inquiring minds I mean Oracle of course.”

There’s silence for a second, as all heads swivel to the smallest - and grumpiest - of the caped crowd...before Red Robin bursts into delighted laughter.

“Go ahead, tell them!” He crows. “You have to tell them now.”

Robin crosses his arms sullenly and stares at the ground as if willing it to swallow him whole. “I was in pursuit of one of Penguin’s enforcers.”

When he shows no indication of adding any further information to that, Red Robin supplies it for him.

“Who ducked!”

Dead silence then.

“You drove your cycle into the bay?”

“I did no such thing!” Robin bursts out. “I drove my cycle in pursuit of one of Penguin’s enforcers, as I said. He was getting ready to disengage a boat full of illegal arms from its berth at the docks, and I aligned my cycle perfectly so as to just barely clip his shoulder and knock him to the ground while I jumped off. And he did not duck.”

“So what did happen then?” Black Bat asks with a tiny smile playing on her lips. 

Robin mumbles something unintelligible.

“Sorry, nobody caught that. You must enunciate, youngling,” Batgirl says.

“I said he tripped, alright?!”

The group explodes into laughter, even if a couple of them like Nightwing and Black Bat seem to make token efforts at containing themselves for Robin’s sake. From the looks of him, the effort goes largely unappreciated, if not outright unnoticed. 

“He overshot the guy by a good two feet and zoomed straight into the bay before he could react,” Red Robin gasps out. “It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Which will be all the shorter if you don’t shut up,” Robin grumbles crankily. 

“Can somebody please, please get video footage of B’s face when you tell him? I need it. For posterity and stuff,” Red Hood gasps out, almost doubled over.

“You could just come with us and see it yourself,” Nightwing points out. Hood waves a hand in dismissal.

“Eh, no thanks. He’s being an asshole again this week.”

“Is he being an asshole or are you being the asshole this time?” 

The Red Hood shrugs carelessly. “Whatever. Its one or the other. Look, I can’t be expected to keep track.”

“Mm-hmm,” Nightwing hums knowingly.

“Like father, like son,” Batgirl sing-songs. She reeks of smug. It clings to her like a perfume.

“Shut it Blondie, you’re still on my shit-list.”

“What did I do?”

“You know damn well what you did.”

“Do you?” Black Bat asks her in a low voice to the side of the main conversation. Batgirl grins brightly.

“Oh yeah, definitely. And better yet, Oracle has documented proof of what I did. I’ll show you when we get home.”

Whatever else transpires is lost amid the hangover haze you awake to several hours later. You’re still unsure whether the phrase “never meet your heroes” was substantiated by the experience or not.

Further data might be required.

[konglindorm]

King Thrushbeard

King Thrushbeard has always been one of my favorite fairy tales. Top five, easily. (The top five, in no particular order: King Thrushbeard, Prince Lindworm, Donkey Cabbages, East of the Sun West of the Moon, and Beauty and the Beast.) This is partly because (spoiler) I'm a total sucker for secret identities (I blame this on early exposure to Robin Hood and The Princess Bride), and I think partly because of a blog post I read years and years and years ago, which analyzed King Thrushbeard as a Christian allegory. It was a really fascinating post, and I wish I could link it for you, but I first encountered it over a decade ago, and I wouldn't know where to even begin looking for it now.

So recently I reread King Thrushbeard for the first time in at least five years. Which. Kind of a mistake. Some things are just better in memory. (Which is why I no longer read favorite books from my childhood. Some things you just can't bear to have ruined by, like, good taste.)

Anyway. Let's get into it.

Our story starts with a princess who doesn't want to get married, which. Fair. But we're in a setting, where,  like, you kinda gotta anyway. Princesses in this culture are not doing a lot of marrying for love, even in fairy tales. And our girl, she's being pretty much as difficult as possible about it. Her father keeps on bringing in suitors, and she keeps on rejecting them in the rudest ways possible. Mostly stuff about their physical appearances. "I can't marry this guy; he's so fat he looks like a wine barrel." "He's so red he looks like a rooster." "His chin is so crooked it looks like a thrush's beak." Etc., etc. Except that the thrush beak one - I'm glancing through the pitt.edu version as I write this post and that's what it says, but in other translations I know they've said his beard looks like a thrush's nest, which makes much more sense to me because facial hair is much more easily changed than chin shape.

Now, okay, I get that marrying a total stranger to strengthen your father's political alliances isn't fun. But insulting powerful men as you reject them is just not the best idea, hon. You're gonna cause problems there. People are gonna blame your dad for your rudeness and not want to be in treaties with him anymore. Which you should know.

So. Dad gets fed up with this whole thing after princess rejects the latest batch of suitors, and swears to marry her to the next beggar that comes to the door. Minstrel beggar comes by shortly afterwards, and beggar and princess are married despite strenuous objections by both. King kicks princess out, because it's "not proper for a beggar's wife to live in the palace."

Princess and beggar walk a ways. They pass through a number of beautiful places owned by King Thrushbeard (which is what we're calling chin/beard dude now), and princess bemoans her foolishness in refusing to marry him. Out loud, which her new husband points out is pretty rude, as she's married to him now.

Eventually they reach the tiny hut where they're going to live. Princess is shocked and horrified by lack of servants. Beggar immediately sets her to cooking and housework, neither of which she has any idea how to do. And then he decides she needs to get a job.

(Once he gets married we never see him beg again, or do any other kind of work; he just expects his brand new wife with no marketable skills to provide for him and contributes absolutely nothing to the relationship. Fantastic. Real stand-up guy.)

Princess is set to weaving baskets, but the materials cut her delicate princess hands. She's set to spinning thread, but those materials also cut her delicate princess hands, and, like, what? Exactly how delicate do your hands have to be to be cut by thread? Apparently we just have a full-on Princess and the Pea situation here. Okay.

Beggar sets her to selling pottery in the marketplace. That goes really well; people buy her pots because she's pretty and sad and they feel sorry for her. This is apparently pottery that the beggar bought from someone else, making the princess sort of the middleman here. Which is where the trouble comes in; some drunk dude on a horse comes through the market and smashes all her pots. Which she and the beggar then have to pay for.

And of course, according to the beggar, this is all her fault, because of the part of the market she chose to work in? If she'd set up somewhere else the pots wouldn't have been trampled. And, like, I'm not liking the beggar. Not an appealing character. Kind of a jerk.

He gets the princess a job as a kitchen maid at King Thrushbeard's palace. She starts smuggling food home in her pockets, which will become relevant in a minute here, because she and her husband are very poor, and food is hard to come by.

All goes well until the king's wedding day. She's got her pockets full of food, and the king - King Thrushbeard, who she so rudely rejected - demands that she, a random kitchen maid, dance with him. While they're dancing, all her pockets burst, spilling the stolen food, and she's in filthy rags in a ballroom in front of a suitor she rejected, so she makes the only logical choice and runs right out of there.

The king follows her. He says, "Surprise! I'm your beggar husband and somehow you didn't recognize me just now? I orchestrated this whole big thing - the marriage, the broken pots, that fun little wardrobe malfunction you just had - to teach you a lesson. And now that you've learned it we can live happily ever after!"

To which the princess replies, "I suck and I'm not worthy to be your wife," which. Just. Oh, honey, no. You were really rude to him once, so he made the next several months of your life a living hell. You are not the unworthy one. Why do you think you're unworthy? Is this Stockholm Syndrome? Do you have Stockholm Syndrome? Is that even how Stockholm Syndrome works? Probably not, but I am Concerned.

(One of these days I'd like to make it through a whole fairy tale summary without being Concerned. Hasn't happened yet.)

So. The wedding that's happening is her surprise wedding, she changes clothes quick before the ceremony, and they live happily ever after. Good times. Our beggar/Thrushbeard was a lot more likeable in my memory before this reread.

(This post was available early on my Patreon.)

[stxleslyds]

Part 2 of my Under the Red Hood Review

Hello! Here I am again with part two of this review, if you want to read the first part I will link it here!

Let’s continue!

Chapter eight gives us a look into the past, to when Jason was stealing the batmobile’s tires, to one of the first times Jason went out as Robin with Batman and everything was wonderful…then one of the scenes from the past show a Jason that may come off as a bit more aggressive on the job, it’s also shown that he does agree that the level of aggression was unnecessary but that the criminal deserved it anyway.

I know that sometimes people get the impression that Jason was an angry and extremely aggressive Robin, which is not correct, he was a sweetheart (and I am referring to Post-Crisis Jason because that’s what is in continuity in this story) just like Dick (he had forty years of being a sweetheart too, Marv Wolfman misses me with that angsty and angry shit) but I think what’s important here is the fact that Jason saw things differently from Bruce and that does not make him a bad Robin, it makes him a Robin with different experiences and as a human being he is allowed to change his views, also let’s be honest, hormones are a bitch so emotions are at an all-time high so he is bound to change. This does not mean that his death was his fault, Jason felt lost and wanted a mother and he made some decisions but Bruce was the adult and he should have paid more attention to him and his behavior so in this house the only ones to blame for Jason’s death will always be the Joker and Batman.  

Rant over.

Back to the issue we see Bruce, who has been doing tests and analyzing the coffin that Jason was supposedly buried in for hours, he is a whole ass mess but at some point in time he reaches a verdict…There was never a body in the coffin.

In chapter nine we meet Davis McCullen and Alfie Tisner who have a sort of meth lab in Black Mask or Red Hood’s territory, they don’t really know, and they also have a friend that is selling drugs to kids so yeah…they are in big trouble.

As I read I expect Hood to kind of appear out of thin air and kill them but that doesn’t happen, Batman is the one that comes crashing through a window and tells them that if they don’t pack their things and move they are dead because there is a wall full of C4 (that Jason implanted), Batman wastes no time and gets to work on disarming the bomb as he does that Jason makes himself known (trough a microphone) and tells the Bat that there is no way he can do it and that he better run too. Bruce says that the building is empty and there is no reason for him to blow it up which Jason is aware of and then suggests that Batman knows how much good it does to put a little fear into people and…boom.

Look at this little shit.

We soon find out that the building belonged to Black Mask, and that is not the only thing that Hood wants off the map, he is shown blowing up one of Masks trucks that is full of weapons. Here we also learn a bit more about his modus operandi, he never steals drugs or weapons for himself, he just destroys them and while they were expecting that behavior in what Hood deemed his territory, he is now doing it everywhere. We also find out that before he was trying to get Mask’s people to work for him but now he just kills them.

He is, however, taking his cut from wherever he can, so maybe he is building his own empire and his move as of now is eliminating the competition. This theory is proven true when Jason in all his glory and with a bazooka shoots Mask’s office floor.

Mask is pissed off and as he is screaming into the wind an angel answers his call…Deathstroke is here and he wants to play. This is not pleasing for Hood or Batman.  

Slade is working with the Society and Mask wants Hood “Serious dead. Head on a pike, guts on the pavement, me wearing a sweater vest made of his skin kind of dead.” So, Slade sends people to take care of the job.

Mask isn’t pleased though, apparently Captain Nazi (???), Hyena and an unknown third party aren’t enough for him but Slade assures him that they will get the job done, no worries.

The attack on Hood comes when some men are trying to send a “message” to him and here is where weirdo one and two bamboozle our boy.

The fight that ensues is good but is overshadowed by what Alfred says behind the scene, he talks about how Jason as Robin told him that Batman and the legend of what he could do didn’t necessarily scare the “dress ups” the way that it scared the street thugs, so as a consequence they were more dangerous, Alfred true to himself tried to explain that the dress ups probably believe different things about Batman but Jason told him something that shocked him, he said “They all know he won’t kill them.” Which is true, you, me and Alfred know it.

As Alfred continues “talking” the fight welcomes a new player, Batman. He narrates the fight and realizes that they need to team up which comes naturally to them both, in a second they are in synch just like they used to back in the cave all those years ago. As the fight is coming to an end the third party arrives…yep Count Vertigo is here, the fight doesn’t last long though, because there is adrenaline and hyenas and scents the fight is over in no time (I am not explaining that fight, it’s so weird). Captain Nazi is the only casualty and Batman isn’t happy but just like Jason I am okay with it, if he had to kill one of them let it be the Nazi.

Jason obviously leaves and taunts the Bat once more.

Alfred ends the monologue by saying that Jason never understood that it wasn’t Batman’s strength or stealth that scared his adversaries but his resolve.  

So, Batman makes a dramatic promise, “Time for this to end.” dun dun duuuuun

Chapter eleven part one opens with Alfred telling us about one of his and Bruce’s hobbies, they used to collect first editions of books and it soon became a tradition that Alfred then shared with both Dick and Jason…so when he finds a package for him and B that says “Just two to add to the pile. Cheers – Jason” Alfred immediately contacts Bruce.

Back to Black Mask, he apparently decided to set up a meeting with his right-hand men, they think that they are there to evaluate the idea of making a deal with Red Hood so he stops messing up their business and they are right! It’s just that the deal was made between Mask and Hood and it consisted in them being killed off.

 “Are you happy?” Roman asks.

“Getting there” Hood answers.

Back with Alfred we are able to see what is in the package. In it there is a lock of green hair with tissue included so yeah, now they know that Jason has the Joker, and he was nice enough to give them an address.

Once again with Mask and Hood well, let me tell you if Hood is just “getting there” then Mask is just not happy. They get into an argument, a big one, Mask says that killing all his right-hand men should be sufficient but Hood says it isn’t. It goes on for a while and Mask loses his marbles completely, apparently he put everything on the line for the deal but Hood really doesn’t give a fuck. A fist connects with Hood’s face and a fight ensues, while they do that they also yell at each other about the proper way of running the underworld, the fear factor, who is prettier, who is the best gangster and who looks better in biker clothing…you know, the important stuff.

I am not undermining the fight, believe me but it’s just that they talk, punch and throw each other across the room a lot. Sacrifice and what they are willing to do for Gotham or better said what they are willing to do TO Gotham are the last things they discuss.

Just as the end of the fight comes, we once again have Alfred talking in the background about the time Jason died and the time Bruce’s parents died and how different the two instances are, Bruce was a little boy and defenseless when his parents died but when Jason died he had everything, the training, gadgets and abilities the only thing that he lacked was time.

And as it turns out that’s about to happen once more…Batman is going to arrive to the place where Jason and Mask are going at it just in time to see Jason drop dead on the floor.

Don’t worry friends Jason isn’t dead (again) it’s just a random dude with a mustache and Mask is pissed about it, what’s new?

Jason is actually with the Joker, and by “with the Joker” I mean being annoyed by the Joker…he is ranting on and on about how he killed him, how good things come in threes like Batman, Robin and himself. At some point Joker decides that the sensible thing to do next is compare Jason still letting him live with Batman’s no killing rule and then to make matters worse compare Jason’s actions as Red Hood with his own.

I absolutely LOVE Jason in this moment, I swear seeing Joker’s smile fade away brings me joy, he tells him exactly what he doesn’t want to hear. Jason isn’t like the Bat he won’t stay and play his game; this man right here just scared the Joker and nobody can’t tell me otherwise.

Back to Batman, he is trying his best to shake Mask off but the man keeps questioning if he knows who the Red Hood is and why did he let him operate in such a brutal way for so long (and affecting his business, poor thing so sad). Batman basically tells him to stop playing victim, he thinks that Mask crossed a line that someone really didn’t want crossed and that at the end of the day he is just another gagster…which is exactly what Hood had said moments ago trough the helmet to Black Mask, in a moment of great intelligence Mask deduces that maybe Batman actually knows exactly who Hood is.

Batman of course doesn’t answer because he thinks he is slick but the cat is out of the bag. Among the ruble of the helmet that just exploded (yeah the helmet had a built in bomb, that detonated after Mask unmasked the mustache man) Batman finds a message from Hood, a place and “you know where”.

The east end, Crime Alley. That’s where Jason takes him because it’s “fitting”, after all it’s the place where they first met.

Jason tells Batman that the Joker is in the building next to them and that he has it wired to blow it up, so Batman being his stupid self says that he won’t let him kill the Joker (come on Jason why do you want to kill the nice clown man, he is such a sweetheart).

The fight between those two is about to start when the scene changes. An attack, a living bomb called Chemo is being dropped (by the Society) in Bludhaven, Nightwing’s city. And Batman has a front row seat to see the show.

Yep, it’s not a good time to make snarky comments Jason; as far as both of them know Dick Grayson is dead. And the emotion in Batman’s face is heartbreaking, we as the readers have seen impossible situations, characters surviving shit that they wouldn’t in real life but characters within comics don’t know that… so, Bruce just saw another one of his sons die. (Dick is alive though, don’t worry)

Now, Jason has been a little shit during the whole story, but do not think for a moment that the situation somehow brings any form of positive emotion within him, what happens is that he sees an emotionally compromised Batman and well, will there ever be a better chance to manipulate him into feeling even worse?

…If Batman leaves, the Joker dies. So, first choice for the Bat, either he goes to what’s left of Bludhaven and searches for Dick or he stays and doesn’t let Jason kill the Joker.

Batman chooses to fight, and once again they start the same dance but this time B has upgraded his gadgets (you will never catch him wearing the same thing twice! Shame on you!) Jason teases him a little bit about the cape and B burns his jacket…

Batman has a whole speech about how Jason won’t be able to save Gotham or be better than him…that he knows that he failed him and is trying not to do it again. But Jason says that the failure he talks about isn’t really were his problem lies.

There we have it. And I would like to ask the same thing, why is the Joker still alive? Would it actually be so bad if he were beaten to death by someone’s bare hands? (Check out Joker: Last Laugh #6 (January, 2002) for a surprise)  

But that’s not the point, Jason is mad because he doesn’t understand and he feels betrayed, if the mad man kills a fifteen-year-old and then continues to kill and you as Batman aren’t willing to break the cycle of:  1) Joker escapes Arkham 2) Joker does something evil 3) Batman fights and captures him 4) Batman sends the Joker to Arkham 4) Arkham is already corrupt and lets him out after a while or he corrupts/kills a few people into letting him out, then what kind of man are you?

Batman obviously has an answer as to why he hasn’t killed Joker yet. He doesn’t do it because it will be too easy and not only that but he has thought about it…not just killing him but torturing him BUT! he won’t. He can’t really, you see, If he does it once maybe he will never stop (there he goes, the man with a resolve of steel) if he walks the dark path once he will walk it forever. Basically, Batman has zero willpower and zero control…my dude no one believes you!!!! Jason doesn’t either but he does have something to say.

Heartbreaking, that’s the only thing I have to say about these panels, these are panels that have always stuck with me. If you want this conversation to reach a whole new level of emotion I suggest you watch Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) it’s an animated movie and Jason Todd is voiced by Jensen Ackles (who plays Dean Winchester in Supernatural) which is probably the best casting ever, Jensen is excellent at showing emotion with his voice. I totally know that probably all of you have seen the movie but it’s so good that I really think it’s worth watching again.

It doesn’t matter how emotional it’s for us, Batman can’t and won’t kill him, not even when Jason slides him a gun…so here comes the second time Batman has to make a choice

And he does, well, he uses a batarang to slice Jason’s throat making him let go off the Joker. Jason falls to the floor, a pool of blood around him. As that happens Joker grabs the gun and aims for the dynamite left there (remember that the building was set to go off) and shoots. BOOM!

And that’s the end. All three of them survive although Batman didn’t know that Jason was going to survive, I mean can he actually tell the future or…maybe I am missing something.

And yes, that was the end, I understand that to some it’s just a shitty ending and I don’t blame you…but to me it’s genius.  

It ends with Batman betraying Jason. They don’t make up, Batman doesn’t try to come to an understanding with him, he just makes a choice, he would rather save the Joker before killing or letting Jason kill him, which is bullshit my friends because Jason has been killing this whole story and B has been aware of it.

Jason appears later in Nightwing issue #118 (May, 2006) to #122 (September, 2006) as Nightwing and with tentacles. Don’t worry, you don’t have to read that. After that he appears here and there but personally, I really didn’t catch up with him up until Batman: Battle for the Cowl.

 Anyway, I am going to end it here, I hope whoever takes the time to read this enjoys it, see you around!

[sweet-sammy-kisses]

Cream Puffs and Puppies

TimKon Week Prompt: Bakery/Coffee Shop  Author Notes: This is a two chaptered story the next chapter uses the final prompt for TimKon week.  You can also read it on AO3

After losing Robin, his place in the family, his spleen, and his creditability within the hero community Tim Drake-Wayne came to a decision.

"I'm retiring from the hero community."

Tim decided to inform only those who care and that was those in front of him, his team, no his family. The Titians were all lazing about the living room when he made his announcement.

Conner had been expecting that for a while. "Well if you are out then so am I." There was no way that Tim was going where without him, the last time he let Tim out of his sight he lost his spleen.

Tim started at his lover, "Are you sure? You love being a hero."

Conner smiled gently at his partner, as he took Tim's hands in his and looked into those blue eyes he loved so much and spoke from the heart, "True but I love you more. I am perfectly okay with being just plain old Conner Kent."

"I'm happy for you guys but Tim you are Timothy Drake-Wayne you are pretty recognizable." Bart pointed out to his friend.

"In Gotham I am but if I move to San Francisco I am not Gotham Royal here so I would be just another face in the crowd," Tim explained.

Silence reigned over the tower as everyone stared at Tim, they had known things weren't going well between the Bat-family with Tim staying more and more in San Francisco, he only went back to Gotham one to two weeks a month and he had completely moved out of the manor.

"You know we will support you in whatever you decide to do dude, is this something you really want?" Gar asked softly. He made a mental note to call Dick and give him a long talk. 'Or I could just ask Raven to send Dick to a hell dimension in his underwear, again. That might open his eyes up better than talking to him.' Gar decided that he would talk to Raven later.

Tim was expecting that question. "I have and the only ones I talk to are Cass and Jason. No one else from Gotham has reached out to me. I will keep in contact with them and make sure that they let Alfred know that I am okay but it is time I put myself first. Things haven't been the same since Bruce went missing. And as much as I love them I have doubted that they felt the same with how easy Dick could take Robin from me and when he considered putting me in Arkham that fractured our already strained bond." Tim was thankful when no one said anything about the way his voice cracked when he talked about Dick.

"We understand Tim and like we said we will support you." Raven sent Tim a small smile and Gar knew at that moment he wouldn't need to ask Raven anything she would be sending Dick to a hell dimension.

"So what are you going to do?" Cassie asked.

Tim and Conner exchanged a look. "I have no clue," Tim admitted in a soft voice.

+*****+

Conner and Bart came with Tim, Cassie, and Cass stopped by when they could. Cassie couldn't leave the Titans she was their leader after all Tim hadn't seen Dick, Bruce, or Damian. He talked to Alfred once in a while the only one he saw was Jason.

"You opened up a coffee shop and bakery? How the hell did that happen Baby Bird?" Jason asked as he entered what could only be considered a geek paradise somehow Tim had become the owner of a Pokémon-themed cafe.

"It just kinda happened." Tim never meant to open a coffee shop and bakery.

Jason could only shake his head, "Only you. But coffee is your love after clone boy so we really shouldn't be that surprised. But that doesn't explain the kittens and puppies." Jason looked down at the puppy who had bounced over to him, wearing a Red Hood poncho of all things. A smile appeared on Jason's face as he picked up the pit-bull puppy who wagged its tail as it covered Jason's face in kisses.

"It was Conner's idea, he found them in the streets and brought them here. We got a permit to have them here, we act as an adoption center, you would be surprised to see how many people will stay and cuddle with an animal while they drink and eat and once they formed a bond with them and then adopt them. The clothing was made by Cass." Tim explained. He could see that Jason was slowly losing his heart to the pup in his arms. "Her name is Elizabeth."

"Well, of course, a classy lady like this needs a classy name. Come on sweetheart let me tell me about your namesake." Jason wandered off to a free table.

Tim could only shake his head as he watched Jason settle in pulled out the book that he carried on with him. Elizabeth looked at home in Jason's arms and Tim knew at that moment he would be seeing a lot more of his older brother.

Jason stared at Tim as he handed him his Red Robin suit and everything that was Bat related. "I'm proud of you baby bird." Jason finally said as he took the box from Tim.

Of all the things Tim expected to hear that was not one of them. "Really?" He couldn't remember the last time that one of the Bats told them they were proud of him. "Thank you, Jason, that means the world to me."

"No problem baby bird."

Conner's arms wrapping around him pulled Tim out of his thoughts. "It looks like Jason has a new admirer," Conner commented as he rested his chin on the top of Tim's head, he loved the height distance between him and Tim.

"Bart is going to be upset but he should know better to bet against Cass." Tim didn't know how his sister figured out that Jason would bond with Elizabeth but she had been right from the moment she put Elizabeth in her homemade Red Hood poncho and the fact that she would cry and whine when it had to be taken off to be washed showed that she had chosen her favorite hero.

Tightening his grip on Tim Conner enjoyed the feel of Tim in his arms. "Are you happy?"

There would always be an ache in his chest of what could have been with the others but right now Tim could honestly say, "Yeah, I'm happy."

[soitmightgetweird]

Drenched (Halloween fic)

Bucky x reader

Summary: an accidental prank at a party flips your entire night upside down

Warnings: swearing, as per usual

Word Count: ~3300

A/N: Holy fucknuts. It’s been a year and a half since I posted a fic. Damn guys. I dunno who the heck is still paying attention to little ol’ me, but here it is anyway. ((I’m working off a very old taglist, so let me know if you want to be removed. Also let me know if you want to be tagged. I mostly write for Steve and Buck, so you could request all tag or just one dude. Side question.. do Steve fics still happen?? I’m so out of the loop guys.))

Popcorn ceilings are good for collecting dust and giving you something to stare at when you’re bored. They’re not so good at showing you how to handle a conversation you don’t really want to have. After another little whine from your friend, you finally pull your eyes away to look toward the person sitting on the arm at the far end of the couch. She’s decked out in a gorgeous 1940s-style dress and her hair is delicately styled to match.

“I’m really not feeling like going to a party this year, Nat.”

She frowns. “But you love Halloween.”

“You’re right. But I just feel like turning on my little pumpkin lights and watching scary movies in the dark. I’m not really in a go-out-and-drink-around-a-bunch-of-strangers mood.”

“Not everyone will be strangers.”

“Well, work has been kicking my butt—”

“Honey, I know. You’re busting your ass for that company. But your friends miss you. Steve and Sam both ask how you’re doing all the time. Apparently your texts aren’t very… wordy.”

If it was anyone else in your apartment giving you sad eyes and practically begging you to be social, you’d be irritated. Nat has been the friend who’s helped pull you out of your funks for years. She knows just when to test the waters and when to back off. She’s able to read you insanely well.

The fact that she didn’t drop the conversation immediately means she knows you haven’t reached the burnt out point yet. Once that thought crosses your mind, you know you’ll end up going with her.

“I don’t have a costume,” you say in a resigned tone.

She smiles softly. “Just put on jeans and a hoodie. I’ve got a mask from Mr. Robot. Boom, simple.”

“Nerd.”

“Guilty. But hey, the party isn’t supposed to be that big.”

You level your stare at your friend. “Isn’t it at Stark’s?”

“Oh. Good point. Well, you can always tell me when you’ve had enough. I just want you to spend time with friends to help you recharge. You know work gets more tolerable when you have fun memories to occupy your mind.”

It’s hard to argue with Nat when she hits the nail on the head. “Alright,” you say as you roll off the couch with a faux-dramatic groan.

A few minutes later, you leave your room in your standard attire and slip into your Converse. Nat smiles again as she watches you turn on little accent lights in your living room before grabbing your keys and following her out the door.

-----------------------------

The first thing you notice as you approach the building is the flashing lights, dancing through the sky and originating at the penthouse apartment, thirty stories above your head. You reach up and touch the mask that’s currently pushed up on top of your head.

“He really does go all out. Is this enough of a costume?” you ask.

Nat hooks her arm through yours as you close the distance between yourselves and your destination. “Of course. But honestly he doesn’t care; he just wants people to come and have fun.”

You fall into comfortable silence with your friend as you make your way through the lobby and into an elevator. As you climb, the cheesy elevator music is slowly drowned out by the sounds of the party.

The elevator doors open to a spacious modern penthouse that you’re sure looks a hundred times bigger when it’s not full of people. There’s fake spiderwebs with little plastic spiders on most surfaces—bookshelves, pictures on the walls, the stairwell to the second floor, the hanging lights in the entry. There’s a cauldron sitting on a high shelf, spilling fog from dry ice over the opening to the living room. Rubber bats are hanging from string, there’s a small witch with light-up eyes swinging around the room by the blades of a ceiling fan, a skeleton in sunglasses sprawled across the kitchen island and surrounded by snacks, and there’s a life-sized werewolf statue standing off to the side of the room.

You’re actually… not sure if it’s a statue or someone waiting for the opportune moment to scare everyone around them.

As you’re finishing your visual tour of the room, muscular arms drape over your and Nat’s shoulders. You turn your head to see another mask like the one that’s still on your head instead of pulled down over your face.

“Nice mask,” the person says, and even through the music and people you immediately recognize the voice as Steve.

You laugh. “Great minds I guess.”

“I just saw Wanda a little while ago, who knows where Tony is, Scott is desperately trying to Clint at beer pong, and Sam and Bucky are on the balcony.”

Your face scrunches a little before you’re able to stop it, an expression that Nat and Steve both notice.

“Haven’t warmed up to him yet?” Steve asks, and you’re sure there’s a small frown hidden behind his mask.

You sigh. You know Steve and Bucky have been friends since childhood. Nat has been friends with him since college. But you… no encounter with Bucky Barnes has ever been easy.

Nat was your first friend in the city—a chance meeting at a coffee shop near your apartment. A few months after you’d settled into your new home and job, she started inviting you to outings with her friends.

Steve became an immediately calming presence in your life. Sam offered charm and humor, Wanda was your go-to when you wanted music recommendations, Clint and Scott were the big brothers you never (secretly, always) wanted. Even Tony was fine. He was a little eccentric and sometimes flashy with money, but he had a good heart.

Bucky. You wanted to like Bucky. You did like him at first… for a few minutes.

He was charming too, all smiles and bright blue eyes when Nat introduced you. Over the course of the night though, you heard a lot of stories about his dating reputation and Bucky got way too drunk. Your night ended abruptly when you turned away from the bar and suddenly had beer all down your shirt and jeans.

And when Bucky said “watch it, asshole,” you marched back to the table and told the group you were going home. The night faded into the past, but that’s what started your dislike for Bucky Barnes.

It’s been five years and you still aren’t really “on board” with him. You’re civil enough when you’re around each other but you also won’t seek out conversation with him, even going so far as to direct most of your attention to your phone if you happen to end up seated near each other when you all go out to eat.

-----------------------------

It occurs to you a couple hours into the party that you’re enjoying yourself and you’re glad Nat was a little insistent.

You spent a little while in the dining room watching Scott (dressed in a full Jedi robe) do relatively well at beer pong, but not as well as Clint, who was wearing a more modern version of a Robin Hood costume.

"No way in hell I’m wearing tights," he’d said as he sunk another ping pong ball in an orange cup.

Wanda was the next friend you found, in a grungy outfit that resembled Furiosa from Mad Max. You stood with her and Nat for a while, sharing updates on work projects and movies you’d all seen recently. Tony passed by in a long, fitted coat that accented his steampunk look. He even had a little gadget on his lapel made of gears that actually moved. He made it himself and was very proud of it.

You’ve been on the balcony for the past two hours talking to Nat and Steve when you notice your drink is empty. After asking your friends if they want anything, you decide to pull your mask over your face and head through the large glass doors into the living room. As you weave your way through the crowd you spot a large amount of people on one side of the room, so you veer a little to the left to walk through the foggy opening into the hallway.

Before you make it to the other side of the hall, you spot Sam leaning against the wall in front of you, next to the bottom of the stairs that climb up the wall to your left. He has a lazy smirk on his face, like he’s never been more comfortable in his life, just leaning against that wall.

You raise your hand to wave as you call out his name, hoping he can hear since your voice is slightly muffled by your mask. You then notice the speed in which the smile shifts into an expression of full-on panic before you’re suddenly doused in water.

Through the sound of the shouts from the people who were splashed near you, you hear Sam speaking your name and a different voice swearing above you.

You rip your mask away to see that Sam has his hands out toward you, a sincere look of apology on his face. When you turn and look up, you see Bucky. There’s an equally petrified look on his face and he swears again as you bolt for the stairs, Sam’s voice and footsteps following behind you.

Bucky runs through the second door on the left and almost has the door shut before you push through, the door crashing into his shoulder.

“Ow, hey, what the shit! I’m trying to get you a towel!” He grabs a towel out of the closet behind the door and shoves it at you before backing further into the bathroom.

“What the actual fuck, Barnes?” you yell, unzipping your hoodie and throwing it on the counter. It doesn’t make much difference, your shirt is soaked too, but that’s staying on.

“I thought you were Steve!” He has his hands out now, mirroring Sam’s earlier stance, but you’re pissed and you want to get in his face.

You feel a hand gently grab onto your arm as Sam tries to pull you away from his friend. “That’s entirely my fault. I was only paying attention to the mask.”

“Steve has a foot in height on me! And who the fuck drops a bucket of water in someone’s house?”

“We put a tarp down—”

“I was having fun!” Bucky’s still getting the full force of your yelling. “I’ve been stressed the fuck out and Nat convinced me to come out and now I’m fucking drenched—”

Sam says your name again.

You turn around. “Go get Nat please, I want to go home now.”

“Wait,” Bucky protests and Sam stops in the doorway. “Sam just… go enjoy the party, I’ll take her home.”

“Like hell you will.” You finally let go of half the towel and dry off your arms before wrapping the thing around your body, trapping your wet hair against your back.

“I mean to your home, smartass. I’m sorry we pranked you; it was an honest mistake. Let me… I dunno, let me buy you a coffee or something. You’re cold, it’ll warm you up.”

-----------------------------

You keep three feet between you and Bucky as you walk back down the sidewalk toward your apartment. The silence is heavy and awkward, and you stare down at your shoes that squish quietly with every step. Your wet hoodie clings to your arms, sending a shiver down your spine. Unfortunately, the only two options are to wear a wet hoodie or leave your arms exposed to the chilly night air and you’re not sure which is worse.

Another chill hits you moments before a second hoodie is draped over your shoulders. You want to throw it back at him, but it’s already helping to shield you against the wind. At that thought, you glance sideways. Bucky’s arms are exposed now but he doesn’t seem to mind the chill.

Before you look away, he reaches up to rub his shoulder.

You huff out a breath. “Sorry I hit you with the door,” you mumble,

A couple beats of silence pass before he answers. “That doesn’t sound like a sincere apology, but I understand. Sorry again about the water.”

You respond with a grunt.

“Why do you hate me?”

You look at him again, your annoyed expression back on your face. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m just asking why you hate me? What did I do? Before the water.”

“First of all, you apparently have a habit of spilling things on me.”

“What?”

“Do you remember the night we met? You spilled an entire glass of beer on me.”

He stops walking. “Shit. That was you.”

You stopped a few paces in front of him and turned toward him. “Do you remember calling me an asshole right after?”

 Bucky’s eyes narrowed. “Why would I do that?”

“How should I know? But you did. You spilled beer on me then called me an asshole. And I left. Doesn’t really make a girl want to be your friend.” You turn around and start walking again only to realize after a few steps that he isn’t following you. “Are you coming or am I walking the rest of the way alone? Not that I care.”

“I didn’t… I didn’t call you an asshole?”

“You were also a little drunk that night, maybe you don’t remember.”

“No, I… yeah, I had a bit to drink. This girl I’d been seeing had broken things off and I was upset… we’d actually gotten kinda serious. But I didn’t talk about her much because... I dunno, maybe I didn't wanna jinx it. I was having fun distracting myself when they started making jokes about my dating life and I guess I tried to drown my sorrow instead of just talking about it.”

You just stare at him. That absolutely isn’t the response you expected.

“So I'd just got another beer and this dude bumped into me while trying to get some girl’s attention. I called the guy an asshole and was gonna apologize but you were gone. I guess that explains why you avoided even talking to me in passing after that night. Doesn’t really make a guy wanna be your friend.”

You just stare at him. Your dislike had been entirely based off a misunderstanding? “Great. I am an asshole." You turn away from him and continue walking toward your apartment.

"Hey wait, you're not--"

His footsteps sound as he catches up to you. He reaches out and touches your elbow to get you to look at him, pulling his hand away quickly. Physical contact is entirely foreign for you two.

"Can we just forget that night? I mean you can forget about this one too if you want, but I genuinely am sorry. It always kinda bummed me out that you didn't like me--you seemed pretty cool based on all the stories I heard from Steve and Sam."

You frown. "That almost makes me feel worse."

"Please don't. I could've tried to fix things too."

The silence that follows isn't quite as uncomfortable but you still break it shortly after you start walking again.

"I am actually sorry I hit your shoulder. Even when I thought you didn't like me, I would've never intentionally struck you."

He reaches up again to rub his shoulder. There's a smirk on his face as he drops his hand and lifts that shoulder in a small shrug. "I kinda deserved it."

"Maybe. About that coffee though. Just... your hoodie's wet now and I'm not going into a cafe in these clothes. I can just throw this in the dryer and make a pot of coffee. If you want."

Bucky laughs. "I want to make a joke about you inviting me over after dark, but I'll spare it since we're only just now becoming friends."

"Are we becoming friends?"

Bucky turns a worried expression toward you, as if he's scared he pushed too far. When you return a small laugh with a shake of your head, he smiles too.

"You basically said the joke by referencing the joke. But I'll give you a pass this time."

----------------------------- 

You're hyper aware of Bucky's presence as you ride the elevator to the fifth floor together and even more so as you're unlocking your front door and allowing a person into your apartment you never expected to invite over.

"I like your decorations," Bucky says from behind you.

You turn to see him looking at the mantle over your fireplace. There are fake webs and little cheese-cloth ghosts in jars on one side and sparkly black and purple pumpkins next to a little figure of a bird dressed as a witch on the other.

"Thanks. Um... I'm gonna go change and throw this in the dryer. Be right back."

The nerves that arise when you're changing are completely unwelcome. Do you need to put on actual clothes or is leggings and a sweatshirt alright? What do you talk about while you're waiting on his hoodie to dry? What if it's just awkward silence?

You stop mid-movement when you realize you've had those thoughts... before you went on dates.

Nope.

You pull a leggings and a blissfully dry sweatshirt on and walk out of your room, throwing all the wet clothes in the dryer together on the way back to the living room. When you walk in the room, Bucky's crouched in front of the tv, going through the stack of movies you set out a couple days ago. He stops shuffling the cases and holds up your copy of Tucker & Dale vs. Evil with a very serious expression on his face.

"You... have excellent taste in movies."

"Jeez, I thought you were about to lecture me. We can watch it while we wait on the dryer if you want. I'll go start coffee."

-----------------------------

The next morning, you wake up wondering why your neck hurts. Opening one eye, you squint through the sunlight and are met with the sight of your living room. Well, sleeping on the couch explains the neck pain. With a yawn, you stretch your legs and nudge a solid mass on the other end of the couch. Bucky is still there, his socked feet propped on your coffee table and his head resting against the back of the couch.

You nudge him again and he stirs. Then he starts and sits up straight.

"Shit. I'm sorry, I dozed off. Oh... it's morning."

"It is.”

"I um... I guess I'll take my hoodie and go?"

"More coffee."

He chuckles, the sound deep and warm. "Trying to keep me here?"

You put your head back down. "Trying to get you to make coffee."

After you’ve both had two cups of coffee—you’re choosing not to think too much about the fact that he apparently remembered exactly how you like your drink because the first cup he handed you was absolutely perfect—you walk back into the living room with Bucky’s hoodie, holding it out as he finishes slipping on his shoes.

“Oh, it’s warm,” she says with a grin, slipping the garment on and immediately zipping it up.

“It’s chilly outside and despite what you may think, I am actually nice to friends.”

“Oooo, we’re friends. You said it, no take-backsies.”

You laugh. “Well, you do make a decent cup of coffee.”

“You’re right, I do. I’ll get out of your hair now, though. And next time we all go to dinner, you have to actually talk to me. No more cold shoulder?”

He’s standing at the door, hand on the doorknob and ready to leave when he asks the question. There’s an easy smile on his face, but you still see a trace of that same worried expression.

“No more cold shoulder,” you agree. “You don’t have a long walk, do you?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. S’only two blocks. See you around.”

And with that, he opens the door and leaves your apartment, casting one more look over his shoulder to smile as he walks down the hallway.

The realization that you also have a goofy smirk on your face as you walk toward your bedroom stops you momentarily, along with the thought that his presence is already something you know you want more of.

Well shit.

Tags: @stanevansalways19​ @scarlettsoldier​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @shakzer00​ @pixierox101​ @chrevastan​ @aubzylynn​

Bucky only tag: @nerdyandproud9​

[merrysithmas]

i would give my left foot to just hear SOME of the hcs you have about the member's of boris' gang's relations/interactions to & with theo PLEASE

-Myriam and Theo became BFFS bc of Art and Class and Taste, this makes Boris so mad bc all they do is text and WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT but also happy at the same time

-Myriam is part Mongolian by way of Russia, part Polish. She's bi. Boris helped her drag away the body of a man that she blunt punched with brass knuckles in an alleyway for harrassing her and another woman at a club in Warsaw. Boris saw it happen and ran over to help but was startled to a stop when she defended herself so viciously. The man died. Myriam was an up and coming wedding planner in Berlin before that -- now she works for Boris, stony mien and organizational skills on steroids handling mass illegal imports/exports and fielding his contacts under the guise of wedding organization.

-Dima is always having some kind of emotional issue with his girlfriend Milena who isn't super domineering or anything, but Dima is just like this sensitive puppydog of a man (he does yoga and likes working the ceramics) (he's also an expert in martial arts and can snap a man's spine -ex Ukrainian military - in one move) so he's always coming to Theo's apartment in NY or to the house in Antwerp unannounced while Theo is still in his pajamas, and he's crying and asking for advice about Milena who says he's "never there for her" and THEO totally out of his ballpark with women is like holyshit i dont KNOW dude, but is so used to it at this point he just wordlessly pulls out the kitchen chair and starts to put on the coffee, listening to Dima's 2.5 hour story about their latest argument like the group therapist and occasionally offers him tissues

-Shirley T (hacker wunderkind) still lives with his (single) mom who gets VERY UPSET if he is out all night long and Boris often has to go over to the house and charm his mother into not having a meltdown (which always works because he always brings money like a latter day Slavic Robin Hood) and is then is also always invited to say for dinner. Shirley T's mom actually likes Theo even better than Boris and asks Boris about Theo every dinner. But she exclusively speaks Polish and whenever she sees Theo he is totally lost but nods along politely anyways, she loves his shiny American clothes and is shocked at how tall he is, insists on asking him things and Theo has no idea what to say except a few broken Polish words which delights her. And somehow Theo always ends up being dragged to Orthodox Polish Church mass with her and Shirley T (which he doesn't totally mind if its very few and far between as he gets to observe the art and architecture). And he and Shirley exchange bored glances at key moments of irony.

-Cherry, a Bulgarian, is like the Wolverine of the group. Stoic, smart, gets shit done. Boris cheerily teaches him Americanisms and English turns of phrase. He not-so-secretly loves trash American television reality shows and like the Bachelor and takes them DEAD seriously and often references them in every day life in the vein of wise proverbs. He frequently asks Theo for his input on these cultural milestones and Theo is like at a loss because to him its so low-brow but honestly Cherry's seriousness and blunt culturally-removed nonjudgement helps Theo lighten up and he's collapsed exhaustedly beside Cherry on the couch at the gang's HQ to watch Ice Road Truckers and Say Yes To The Dress several times. Cherry is also best friends with Anatoly since they were kids. Cherry is their information guy. He rarely talks so people say anything to him.

-Anatoly is the slinkiest and seemingly outwardly most untrustworthy of them all. He and Cherry got in big trouble as kids when they stole what they thought was some weed they could resell from a local dealer (who happened to be an associate of Bobo Silver). What they stole was actually a kilo of coke. Boris, hearing the two of them were fellow Slavic kids, took it upon himself to find them, reason with them, wrangle the coke back, offer them protection if they worked for him and learned the business, and returned the coke to Bobo's guys, putting his own neck on the line in a bid to get them off the hook so he could start his own side hustle. They were the first members of his gang. Anatoly is Lithuanian and spoke little English at first, he quickly took to Boris for essentially saving their lives (and eventually making them fucking rich) and considers himself to have a life-debt to Boris. Boris can always trust Anatoly to run an errand without question or use harsh immoral tactics. He's a bit of a livewire. Anatoly feels a kinship with Boris because he once had a favorite cousin when he was a kid who was brutally injured (and died from those injuries) because he was gay, a hatecrime -- an event which sickened Anatoly but he could do little about as a child and feels immense guilt over. Seeing Boris dominate the eastern crime scene makes him feel proud and cools some of that aching spite. Anatoly is Anarchist ally of the year and throws tear gas cannisters at Anti-Gay protestors while wearing a balaklava on on the weekends. He keeps telling Theo to marry Boris.

-GYURI! loveable cook, Boris' stalwart driver, tea-maker, ex-con, likes to knit (good for his neuropathy from a prison nerve injury), sometimes mans the bar at the HQ, always there to pick up dry cleaning if Theo is running late ("it is no problem i said"), drives Theo around at night if he's having panic episodes or can't sleep or is depressed, and talks to him quietly from the front seat -- just enough. A big loveable uncle. Always brings nicely cooked dinners at Christmas -- gets along well with Hobie the one time Hobie comes to visit Belgium and exchanges recipes for poached pears. Could break a man in half with one hand. Babysits everyone else's kids.

-Nina (aka pseudonym Katya) a childhood friend of Boris', his only childhood friend from "home". She was a Russian living in the Ukraine under a somewhat official capacity, who at a young age was accused of a crime she committed (but only bc she had to at the threat of her own life) and was given a harsh sentence -- essentially made an example of and torn from Boris as a child. She is about ten years older than Boris and had a sisterly dynamic with him. Years later, released from custody on condition, she hears of his crime syndicate and tries to find him, she feels guilty for associating her tarnished name with him -- but Boris will have none of it, happy to see her, a tearful reunion. He sees to it that she obtains a new name, new birth certificate, and can be free of her past. He considers Katya his family, the only person who understands the harshness of that time in his home country. She loves Theo and dotes on Boris like a little brother. Katya is the first person Boris ever comes out to in an accouncement type-way (not like with his gang - all of their open secrets, unjudged, a party of misfits). She accepts and loves him like he accepted and loved her - and gave her a home when the world abandoned her. She works as a barmaid at the HQ.

just some!

[iphoenixrising]

Okay, so this idea just came to me and wouldn’t leave: the people of Gotham, while they don’t know 100% of what goes on with the vigilantes, at least try and keep tabs on them, right? After all, if it’s two things that unite all Gothamites it’s the Wayne family and the Bat family. So imagine that a few civilians notice that Tim Robin is suddenly replaced , and Red Robin appearing shortly after. Logically, they think the previous Robin became Red Robin (1/?)

But that’s not all they notice. The civilians also notice how Red seems to be cut off from the rest of the family, hardly ever being seen with any of the other Bats. And once Bruce comes back (not that they know he was Batman in the first place) Red seems even MORE distant. Imagine that one night, one civilians hears a conversation they should have never heard, but did. It was of Red, Hood, Nightwing, and Robin all arguing on the roof of their apartment building (2/?)

Of course, that civilian listens in secretly. There they hear N asking Red why he hasn’t come back to the Cave in a while, that they missed him at movie nights. Imagine their surprise when Red scoffs at this, saying that he needed to work on some cases. Plus, he added, it’s not like anyone truly wants me there anyway. The other three immediately jumps on Red about that, saying that what he said was ridiculous (3/?)

But all Res does is say a forceful goodbye and leaves before they can do anything about it. The civilian slowly and carefully sneaks away, amazed at how loud silence could be. They always knew how Red seemed separated from the rest of the Bats, but this… this was different. They decide to post their experience anonymously online, and soon enough, dozens of other similar stories pour in. Now Gotham wonders: just what happened after Reds transition from one cape to the next? (4/4)

**

BABE.

I will headcannon the fuck out of Gotham residents keeping tabs on their vigilantes. Of course, you do get the people that are still totally freaked out by the idea of a random dude in a batsuit running around fighting criminals. Sure, you’ve got the but don’t vigilantes like Batman just draw more dangerous criminals here?! Isn’t it just a cycle of violence?!

But honestly, I feel like there would be several serious Discord severs dedicated to sharing stories, theories, and observations about the resident vigilantes they may not throw down on Twitter with #onlyingotham (check out @onlyingotham-blog if you want to read some funny shit). 

And absolutely the people of Gotham are like old gossips when it comes to the juicy bits in the vigilante’s lives. Someone claims to have seen Nightwing making out with the Red Hood was almost booted off the server for not at least having pics.

Another people swears she saw Superman randomly visiting the city, carrying a pouting Batman around after a pretty good fight with the Toy Man.

So, it’s totally natch there’s a topic that’s just #whatthefuckhappenedtoRobin. This is the place where people talk about Robin going from the leader of the Titans to the dude in the black and blue fuck-me suit. Then another kid with shorts (there’s existing pictures of a fight between Batman and Robin against Two-Face that shows him clearly younger than the last Robin). AND THEN, another kid with spiky hair, and look, he’s wearing pants. 

But I mean, the most recent conversations go around how their resident Robin, the one with the bo just suddenly became the smaller, angrier Robin with a hood and some attitude.

Red Robin hits the scene and it takes one person to throw the theory out there:

I bet that guy is the old Robin ;) still got the Bo staff, still with the Teen Titans? Coincidence? I think not.

And the server literally crashes for like twenty minutes because so many people screamed how fucking true that probably is.

One night, a random resident throws up this incredible story about a confrontation that happened on the roof of his building close to the old theatre. He was sitting on is fire escape having a cigarette when four or five capes landed, and were fighting.

:O

He comes up with the details and people are typing like mad:

they have movie nights, totally fucking called it!

Ssssseriously, their secret hide out is a cave. That’s pretty awful. Maybe a GoFundMe for a better hideout??!!

Serious question: was Red Robin just being extra? Or did he sound legit pissed off?

That when other stories start coming in, and some make their way to Twitter. 

Red Rob kicking ass in old town tonite. No other bats in sight. He was bleeding like crazy and waiting in line for a mocha chino, and I totally offered to wait in line for him. Poor guy got a head rush. #onlyinGotham #guy was bleeding out #and still wanted coffee #where’s Batman when u need him?

**Thank-you @I-am-not-a-burger-place-Red-Robin. We had an audit today at work and a bomb going off would have made it even worse [crying emoji]. #but the audit went great! #red robin almost got blown up #again #where’s Batman when u need him?

Wild speculations start popping up on Discord after the city notices the Bats are oddly absent when it’s Red Robin spotted flying over rooftops or running a Ducati through the streets.

Little-by-little, people of the city start taping homemade signs on their windows and rooftops. Some start appearing in shop windows: Gotham  And free coffee for Red Robin! 

(Honestly, it keeps him from stepping that other foot out of Gotham. It’s part of what keeps him coming back.)

One lucky citizen begs, begs him for a selfie after he saves her from a mugging, so there’s a pic out there with a citizen giving the peace sign and the vigilante smiling bashfully with his bo behind his leg and his face pink around his mask.

After a pretty good car chase with the Joker, one might get lucky enough to get him to take a snap for her story, and yes, the halo of flowers filter is perf. 

[mst3kproject]

913: Quest of the Delta Knights

Or, as I’ve taken to calling it, Wizards of the Lost Kingdom -1.

Long ago it was a time of brave knights and fair maidens, bubonic plague, public hangings, spiral perms and really stupid hats.  The tyrant of this land is Lord Volcher, who acts a lot like Alan Rickman in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves only not so subtle.  Opposed to him are the Delta Knights, who have a prophecy about a young sage from the North, and a wizard-looking dude called Baydool thinks he’s found this chosen one in a skinny kid named Travis who might have precognitive powers, I don’t know. Supposedly Travis is destined to lead them to the place where Archimedes hid the lost knowledge of Atlantis.  Wasn’t that the plot of an episode of MacGuyver?

This all takes place when Leonardo da Vinci was in his early twenties, which would place us in the 1470’s.  Despite being so theoretically specific, Wizards of the Lost Kingdom -1 doesn’t actually try very hard to be set in anything resembling the historical past – it’s kind of like The Undead in being a quasi-Renaissance fantasy thrown together by people whose ‘research’ consisted mostly of watching other quasi-Renaissance fantasy movies.  The only historical detail they got noticeably right was the death of Archemedes. Supposedly he really was cut down by the Romans while trying to finish some math, his last words being roughly, “don’t disturb my calculations.”  Legend credits him with inventing a heat ray and a couple of other superweapons that may or may not have been used in the siege of Syracuse, which I guess is what inspired this movie.

That’s a fun idea, I suppose, and could make for a sort of medieval Indiana Jones type adventure.  Problem is, I’m really not sure what kind of movie Wizards of the Lost Kingdom -1 is trying to be.  The tone shifts sharply depending on who’s in a given scene.  When the villains are onscreen one gets the impression that this is a comedy, but nothing that happens is actually funny.  Indeed, a lot of the so-called ‘jokes’ are downright mystifying.  What the fuck is with the thing about Whampool having been a bearded lady in a carnival?  What is supposed to be the punchline of that?  What’s supposed to be funny about any of Volcher’s interactions with the Mannerjay, whoever she is?  Why is he loyal to her when she treats him so badly?

When we’re watching the heroes, we have the opposite situation: it seems like this is all meant to be riveting and sometimes heartfelt, but everything that’s happening is silly.  I want to speculate that there was some kind of failure of communication here, that some of the actors thought they were making a serious adventure movie and the rest thought this was a medieval sitcom, but Baydool and Volcher are played by the same guy so I got nothing.

The result feels uneven to the point of being nearly incomprehensible. How the hell does Leonardo da Vinci exist in the same universe as the Wizard Whampool with his neckbeard and Brooklyn accent?  Why do characters keep talking about filing their paperwork in a world where very few people can read?  How do real countries like Italy and Germany exist, and yet we’re in a land ruled by a Dark Queen who never does anything and a forest full of ziplining people who live in the trees like fucking Ewoks?  How is anybody talking about the country of Turkey four hundred years before it existed?

I guess the film-makers figured nobody would care because it’s just a silly fantasy movie, right?  Maybe that’s true – maybe I’m just anal about it because I did undergrad work in medieval and renaissance history.  The way I see it, though, once you’ve decided to mention real people like Archimedes and Leonardo da Vinci, you’ve got to at least try to be set in the real world.  If you’re going to make up things like the Golden Newt Award from the College of Alchemists in Istanbul, you can also make up your ancient scientist and your artistic prodigy.  Otherwise your movie comes across like it was written by a twelve-year-old.

(Don’t ask me why Volcher and Baydool are both David Warner, by the way.  Maybe it’s supposed to be a two sides of the same coin thing?  Maybe there was a subplot about them being long-lost twins and it got cut from the movie?  Maybe they just couldn’t afford to pay another actor and thought nobody would notice?)

There are major characters who are totally useless.  Volcher’s Evil Overlady is a woman referred to as ‘the Mannerjay’ – I googled this word to see if it actually meant anything but all that comes up is pages about this movie.  I guess somebody thought it sounded cool.  She appears to sit around all day belittling the people who are running her kingdom for her.  We never find out who she is or what she wants or why she’s in charge, and she appears to be in the movie only so it can make jokes about how totally whipped Volcher is.  Her pet wizard, Whampool, is important for about thirty seconds while Baydool and Travis sneak into his lab to copy the map to Archimedes’ library, but he keeps popping up again after that for short scenes that are supposed to be comedic but aren’t, and contribute nothing.

Equally wasted is Thena, the woman Travis springs from a brothel because she saved him from being beaten up once.  She turns out to be the Lost Princess of the Ewok People, which comes across as a lazy way to get her out of the movie again.  She shows up to shoot one guy at the very end but can never really be said to have an effect on the plot.  She’s not even anyone’s love interest.  She’s only in the movie because the casting director thought her tits looked good in that corset.

The plot never seems to escalate.  The middle section of a movie is supposed to be ‘rising action’ or at least ‘rising tension’, but the characters in Wizards of the Lost Kingdom -1 just seem to be wandering around.  Part of this is because of characters like Whampool, or Thena and the Ewok People, who come and go without having any effect on the plot. A major part of it is because the bad guys are idiots who can’t seem to get anything done.  Sometimes the good guys don’t seem able to get anything done, either, as when Travis attempts to rescue Baydool from prison but only ends up getting him killed.  This is supposed to be the heartbreaking tragic scene where Travis loses his mentor, but it mostly feels like wasted time.

I’ve already mentioned a number of anachronisms in Wizards of the Lost Kingdom -1, but there are always more, and the biggest of them is the one the entire plot is founded on.  Baydool tells Travis that the Delta Knights are ‘a secret society dedicated to bringing mankind out of the dark ages.’  Right.  So first of all, ‘the dark ages’ usually means about 400-800 AD in Europe, when we don’t know much about what was going on because everybody was too busy killing each other to write it down.  They weren’t called that, however, until the seventeenth century, when scholars began contrasting what they considered an age of ignorance with the ‘light’ of Greece and Rome beforehand and the Renaissance (a period of fetishism for all things Greco-Roman) after.  Notice how neither of these periods overlap with the supposed time of this movie.  This brings me to my second point, which is that dark ages are dark only in retrospect.  Nobody who was actually alive at the time knew they were living in the dark ages and they probably wouldn’t have cared if they had.

Of course at the end of the movie, they find the secrets of Atlantis but decide to bury them again so that Volcher can’t use Archimedes’ death ray to conquer the world or something.  Throughout the movie Volcher has gone around murdering random people and yelling orders, but he’s so dumb and incompetent that he never really seems like a threat to our heroes.  I got the idea that if Travis hadn’t blown him up he would have done it to himself within the next fifteen minutes.  The Mannerjay, sitting around in her hilltop castle (always introduced with a thunderbolt sound even when the sky is blue), certainly isn’t a threat to anybody.  I don’t think she knows what goes on outside her room.  Keeping this stuff out of their hands seems totally unnecessary. These clowns wouldn’t know what to do with it.

Besides, if you’re trying to fit this into actual history, shouldn’t the end be the Delta Knights using the contents of Archimedes’ Library to bring about the Renaissance?  That’s what they wanted, wasn’t it?  To re-introduce Greco-Roman ideas of science into this backward, superstitious society (not that they ever bother to establish society as backward and superstitious)?  Instead they just blow the whole thing up and all that’s left is things Leonardo was later inspired to sketch in his margins when he got bored of drawing penises with legs. Congratulations on defeating the entire purpose of your own secret society, guys.

Why would anybody make a movie like this?  Wizards of the Lost Kingdom -1 clearly had some kind of budget, because the costumes are pretty nice even when they’re not very historical.  Archimedes’ ray gun is realized through effects that aren’t very special but at least they work.  There are horses and props and things like that, but the script and story are so juvenile, un-funny, and pointless that it doesn’t feel like it deserves them. Nothing here was worth my time or the film-makers’ money and effort.  It doesn’t make me as viscerally angry as Kitten with a Whip, but man, it sucks.